The Yak - Titus Relives His High School Glory Days | The Yak 8-13-24

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

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20% off. Anybody hear him? Yeah, I hear him. Yeah. Yeah, I hear you too. Hot shit. I'm not going down, I hear him. Yeah. I hear you too. Hot shit. That was it. That's not in the song. I know.

I thought we were just making noises. No. Me either. We're country grammaring. We're singing country grammar. Starting hot. You're sitting. No, I'm just going to take his headphones.

Nelly, I believe, had a... Was EI on that same album? He had the Scooby-Doo sounds on EI. Right? Or it must be the money. EI... Was that Scooby-Doo and EI? When he goes, oh?

Yeah. It was. At the very beginning? Was Scooby-Doo a St. Louis? Scooby-Doo wasn't from St. Louis. Who would you rather be? Where's Scooby-Doo from? It's from back to classics, Kyle.

Where's his accent from? Mississauga. Who would you rather be at their respective peaks? Nelly or Scooby-Doo? Whoa. Well, I mean, I guess I got to ask what Scooby-Doo's peak because it seems like he's got more longevity than Nelly, but Nelly's peak was probably higher.

No chance Nelly's peak was higher than Scooby's. Well, Scooby's been peaking for, what, 50 years? Scooby's peak's a plateau, which is impressive. Are we talking about the dog or the voice actor? The dog. The dog, obviously. No, obviously the dog. Why would we talk about the voice actor?

Nobody knows who the voice actor is. What are you going to confirm? It's the dog. There wouldn't be a debate if it was the voice actor. Yeah, it's the dog. I think you go with Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo is so much more famous than Nellie. Also, I would think the IP to

Scooby-Doo is way more expensive than whatever Nellie's catalog. Does Nellie have any features with Shaggy? Was Scooby-Doo respected in the detective community, or is he a doofus? I don't think. I think he was respected in the cartoon community and the dog community, but not the detective community. Look at that. Nellie's ghosting community, but not the detective. Look at that.

I think in the ghosting community, the ghost hunting community. This is not right. That's not right. Scoober? Is his real name? Scoober? I'm Scoober Doo. You can call me Scooby. Please, my father's Scoober. I'll be damned.

Doo is a wild last name. Scoob. Brandon, you're not a Scooby-Doo guy, right? No, I'm not. This has come up before. Yeah, I never really watched it. Now that we're here in the conversation, I'm rethinking it all. I'm second guessing.

Did Scooby solve the crimes or were he and Shaggy, were they dipshits that actually stumbled across the right clue? Was that the plot of? They were human bait, essentially. That was the idea is like they're doofuses, but they always seem to be the ones that crack it. They solved the crimes, but never intentionally. Yeah, that's right. So they would like try to run out of the room scared and trip over evidence or something?

Right, yeah. They would always end up in hallways where the doors connected strangely. And Shaggy was visibly high, correct? Shaggy and Scooby. And Scooby. They love big- So Shaggy would visibly high, correct? Shaggy and Scooby. And Scooby. They love big sandwich. Shaggy would be like, what's this, Scoobs? And then pull a book and there would be a secret.

Yo! So they're critical to the operation because crimes don't get solved without them, but they never directly solve the crimes. So when renegotiating their contracts with the detective agency, who's getting the biggest piece of that pie? Is it Fred? Fred, probably because the time Scooby-Doo came out, he was the man yeah yeah yeah scooby-doo's a fucking dog yeah do you have to

do canines at the police task force get paid contracts no yeah i don't know how respected scooby is and yeah but well that era had some goofy detectives. Hardy Boy. Yeah. Cyclone Brown. Who the hell is Cyclone Brown? Encyclopedia Brown. Encyclopedia Brown. Yeah. What'd you say?

His nickname. His nickname was Cyclone? Yes. Shelby Woo. I loved Encyclopedia Brown. What were the boxcar kids doing? They were living in a boxcar. That's it?

Were they homeless children? I think they were just like throwing rocks at shit. Every novel was them throwing rocks. Yeah. I think they were just throwing rocks at shit. Every novel was them throwing rocks. I think they were just throwing rocks at stop signs. What was the female equivalent of the Hardy Boys? It was Nancy Drew. Charlie's Angels. The Bobsy Twins?

What was their deal? They were twins. They looked alike. Amelia Bedelia? Was she solving crimes? No, she was a teacher. Amelia Bedelia? No, she was a nanny? Miss Frizzle was a teacher. We know that. Miss Nelson was a teacher as well.

But Miss Doubtfire was a nanny. And what was Wishbone doing? Wishbone's dead. Who's Wishbone? Odeed. What's the story? Wishbone Odeed. Wishbone retold important stories, but as a dog.

Miss Bliss was also a teacher. I don't know Miss Bliss. She was the teacher of the first year of Saved by the Bell. When they were still in junior high. Which was originally called? Saved by the Bell. Mrs. Bliss's class or something? Wake up Miss Bliss.

Wake up Miss Bliss. Was Clifford solving problems? Do shows starting with Wake Up always fail? Clifford was just a big red dog. He was just a big, big ass dog. The story of him was how big he was. And red. He helped out a lot though.

So like if there was a big snow pile in town, they're like, I wish we had a big animal that could clear this. And Clifford was like, yeah. Do you think the fact that he's just red kind of goes under the radar because he's so big? Well, big is his identifier. Yeah, what is the first? I he was he was massive it was huge it wasn't like it was kind of big but he's also red he was red enough i would be like look at that red dog i'd say look at that big ass yeah you're right and he's red i'm just saying his name was clifford the big red dog

they saw fit to put red in the name. Clifford the Big Ass Dog. Yeah, the show would still work. It would be funny if they never mentioned how big he was. Clifford the Red Dog? Clifford the Dog. Massive fucking red dog. His size never affects any plot points. The scale's fucked.

He must have took huge shits. Yeah, it would have been a nightmare where did we land on Goofy cow or dog Goofy's a dog right yeah that show has a cow somebody's dying do you hear that it's probably Jerry Jerry after dark is him dying tonight

what is it is it just him dying of old age sitting in there what does anthro that means human features but Pluto exists in this universe and he doesn't talk or wear shoes. He's just a dog. He's just a dog.

I believe in that universe is a slave. Oh. House out back. Caller. Slaves have shit. I'll ask. I'll call back home. Wake Up San Francisco is the answer, Nick.

Ah, yes. Thank you. Starring Danny Tanner. Now,y started as a sports reporter wake up and was doing like warriors games and then this shit blows let's talk about something else yeah do you want to go first? What's one? I mean, U.S. is near the top. Maybe Brazil. Italian.

U.S. in ethnicity? American. Do you not think that's an ethnicity? American. Brazilian. Oh. I thought we had a bunch of different ethnicities inside the U.S. You become an American.

Filipino. Thai. Oh, look. Here an American. Filipino, Thai. Oh, look, here it is. Oh, wow. Not Canadian, not Chinese. Australian would be high. The Chinese are meek. Are they not? Yeah.

That's their thing. So you're saying Australians have a high factor of extroversion? I think they're usually the life of the party. Who has golden retriever energy? They might be one of the countries. Who's wagging their tail. Like Colombians maybe? You think? Dominicans.

Yeah. I don't have a whole lot of history with any of this. What about the lamest college football rivalries? Buddy. What do you got brandon uh alabama tennessee is there a powerhouse if alabama wins every year and only one of them acts like it's a rival about the fucking illabuck yeah all right the turtle yeah that's a bad one explain to me what

this is illinois, Ohio State. Illinois, Ohio State have a trophy for some reason. Everybody in the Big Ten has a trophy. It's a wooden turtle. And they're not, like, it's not really a rivalry. Can't be. But there's a trophy for it. Who plays for the pig, the Floyd of Rosedale?

Is that Minnesota? I don't know who Minnesota plays for. Do any of you have a rivalry with someone who doesn't know it? Oh, yeah. I've had a lot of onesides. A news anchor in Wheeling, West Virginia followed me then unfollowed me real quick right after I followed him back. Why?

I don't know. So he's kind of got the leg up in that rivalry. Yeah, he's kicking my ass. But I think about him every day. That would piss me off. What's his name? Don't want to say. No, I don't want to give him the glory.

Now, he's not the weather guy. He is the anchor of the newscast. I think he's one of the guys. Okay. He shares a first name with one of our coworkers. From Ohio. I know who it is. So it's Tate something.

He doesn't know I exist. But he followed you. He baited you. He baited me. But that does prove he knows you exist. Maybe. Or maybe he misclicked. Accidental follows happen all the time. Nobody unfollows anybody.

It takes... You have to really... You have to really earn that unfollow Do you take it personally when someone unfollows you? I never notice By the time they would unfollow, I've already blocked them Is there any follower you have that you check And you're just like, oh, they still follow me I don't Is yours Big Cat?

I'm checking mine right now. Okay, I'm good. Yeah, still good. Do it once a month. Shane Gillis. That's a good one. I get scared as fuck. What happens when he unfollows you?

I end my life, probably. That's it? Has Portnoy ever unfollowed you, Brandon, and refollowed you? Yeah. Does he follow you right now? He follows me right now. After he made that stupid ass... There's no way he follows you on Instagram. I don't know you? Yeah. Does he follow you right now? He follows me right now. After he made that stupid ass – There's no way he follows you on Instagram.

I don't know if he follows me on Instagram. I don't know who follows me on Instagram. After his stupid ass $500,000 bet a couple years ago where he made a dumb ass bet and then he blamed everybody in the room but himself, he unfollowed me for a while. And then he eventually followed me back. He might have done it a couple of other times but that's the only time i can remember brandon didn't follow me until like a month ago yeah yeah i i don't know who i follow and who i don't i i yeah i don't keep i i didn't follow mincy for so long but his tweets were just

always on my timeline i assumed i did you don't have to follow anybody anymore no they're just all there yeah yeah you still see it yeah you still see what you need to see yeah i'm like unironically following sec burner accounts right now on twitter really and i don't i don't follow any of them but they're all in my timeline yeah it's all you see that's a rough community right oh yeah they say some heinous shit yeah that is a rough they they tried to ruin some girl's life a couple years a couple weeks ago they're they're doing everything we're trying to ruin lives left and right on the internet. That's the easiest place to do it. This woman was like, I had a kid and now I don't care about my dog as much.

And she got whipped. That makes perfect sense. That's what I'm saying. That feels pretty sensible. That's something you would think, but she's getting hoed. Kate, you haven't said your cat's name since you've birthed child. Oh, yeah. We actually killed him. Oh, yeah.

You have to. I couldn't take the couch scratching. With your own hands. Yeah. How's he doing? He's doing great. The kids are chasing him around. It's a little stressful, but he's thriving.

Good. Yeah. He's having a good time. Back to the rivalries. What's the newest legitimate rivalry? The deodorant trophy. What is that? Army pit.

I like that but uh there's a megaphone did you know msu and michigan state and notre dame have a rivalry no that's not a rivalry uva florida state just looked it up they have a trophy that's weak the amount of trophies in the Big Ten is crazy. There are a lot of ones. There's a sword. There's an axe. There's a pig, like I said. Funny enough, Ohio State's biggest rivals are Michigan and Penn State, I would say.

Yeah. I don't need to say it. I think those are pretty obvious. I don't think there's a trophy for either one of those. Yeah, Illinois is in. Look how many Illinois is in. And if there is, I don't need to say it. I think those are pretty obvious. I don't think there's a trophy for either one of those. Yeah, Illinois is in. Look how many Illinois is in. And if there is, I don't know about it. Wait, $5 Bits of Broken Chair trophy?

Minnesota, Nebraska. What the fuck does that mean? What does that mean? What? You know it's a $5 Bits of Broken Chair trophy. Oh, that shit sucks. What accent were you going for there, Kate? I don't know.

I realized Nebraska wasn't in the South a little too late. Old brass spittoon. The little brown jug. We should form rivalries on the show. These are all things people don't want. Yeah, the old oaken bucket. This is a garage sale. No bus and bull.

Why are Nebraska and Wisconsin fighting for the Freedom Trophy? Who's thinking about Minnesota football? That's a drill? What is that? That drill bit? Interesting. They played 17 times and they have a trophy

are colleges doing like hijinks against each other during like these weeks i think they used to i think the hijinks have now been replaced by like the rush videos and shit hijinks are people don't do hijinks people are afraid to be perceived as cringe yeah hijinks are kind of out like they're not doing like putting cows we're not stealing mascots or poisoning mascots or anything to mascots anymore tp'ing trees i don't know if we used to be that was big in the early 2010s who was the they poisoned all the trees auburn auburn still tps their trees but the alabama fan got tired of their shit and they poisoned their tree people got like he went to prison yeah people got real

mad he went to prison for harvey updike how do you uh is he yeah how'd he die i think he died in jail no way he was old when he did it he was he was old he was an old miserable man harvey that sounds familiar harvey up there he auburn yeah it was pretty famous auburn has this tradition where every time they have something big happen to Auburn, they roll the trees in Toomer's Corner. Well, Harvey, an Alabama fan, was just torn up about it and was tired of it. And he went down there, bought some industrial-strength tree poison and just poisoned the shit out of all the trees. I didn't know they sold industrial-strength trees.

How fast does it kill a tree? It killed them slow. I think they ended up replacing them. How heinous is that? Is that a felony? I think it was to Auburn fans. Where does your moral compass lie? I'll kill a tree in a heartbeat.

I don't care. I thought it was funny. I don't think he should have gone to prison over it. I think it's pathetic and obsessive of him, but that should be legal. Killing a bunch of trees? That can't be legal. We can't just have a society of people walking around with industrial-strength tree poisons and killing it everywhere.

That's crazy. He didn't kill a forest. He didn't kill a grove of trees. He killed, like, two trees. By the way, Auburn fans just wrapped him in toilet paper every time they won. That probably wasn't doing the trees any good either. I think that's fine for the trees. Delicately caressing them.

It's one of the softer papers. The softest thing. That's meant for your asshole. TJ, can you look up and see how – I don't know if he died in prison. I know he went to jail for a little bit. I don't know how long he stayed. There has to have been this university stole this university's live mascot

and then accidentally killed it. Oh, back in the 1900s and 19... They were doing all sorts of... That's a stash. Sheesh. God damn. They were killing mascots. He's gray.

They were doing all sorts of shit. Yeah, he's a gray man. The overzealous Alabama football fan who poisoned landmark trees at Auburn went to jail after bragging about it on a radio show. He died at 71. Wait, Harvey Updike? That's not like a celebrity? No, that's that guy.

I guess he sort of is. Celebrity name. In a certain area. Pleaded guilty in 2013 to poisoning trees. Six months in jail for damaging an agricultural crop. And was ordered to turn over $800,000 but paid only a fraction of the amount. Yeah. That's a pretty big punishment, isn't it?

That's a little too much. Do you think he was a hero in jail? I think he was a divisive figure in jail. Yeah. in jail uh i think i think he was a divisive figure in jail yeah you think there were dudes that were like we're gonna fucking we're gonna take care of this guy there might have been but i'm gonna guess there's more alabama fans in alabama jails and there are auburn fans what is the equivalent what would somebody have to do to old miss to well they have trees too everywhere has trees no no but they have imported trees to them. They have the grove, which is literally a field of trees.

Somebody would do that. I would never think I'm going to drive in my car and go poison somebody's trees. What would Mississippi State's be? Killing the dog? Don't even put that in the app. Jumping up real high and stomping on it?

No way. Look at his kid's name. Bear high and stomping on it. Yeah. No way. Look at his kid's name. Bear Brian. Yeah. Crimson Tide T-shirt. Crimson Tide. What's he up to? Why even the Y? Where are they now?

Bear Updike is two of the types you could be. Two types of gay. He's the gayest dude ever. I'm trying to did y'all have that shit in high school did y'all ever do anything like that in high school did y'all have rivals in high school yeah John Marshall and we're high

people would try and do weed killer in the shape of a dick on the field spray paint on the field. Yeah, a lot of dicks. With his spray paint on the field, and it would never... Never really took, yeah. Have you seen what high schools are doing now? What are they doing now? It's weird that I know this, but it's like a trend.

Well, you're the youngest guy here. True. Yeah, you're 17. They're doing like when another high school plays Arrival, they do like a photo dump on the Thursday before of like embarrassing pictures of people from the other high school. And this is how I know this. One high school like outed this gay kid at another high school and it was like a huge. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. So they're just outing gay people. So we used to draw dicks and they're ruining lives there. Yeah. Okay. You know, but schools, even high schools have barstool accounts that they call barstool yeah our high school has a bar they don't know like we're a company they think a barstool is a type of account that like talks shit on rival schools yeah like a meme

account that's where this got outed yeah it was like a barstool account a high school barstool yeah wheeling park bar. All of your high schools probably have one. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. What? Yeah, they're just talking horrible shit. Yeah, they're heinous.

And then like one time like another West Virginia barstool account was made fun of our high school's barstool account by posting like a picture of me and Kyle

like this is, you claim these guys? They're like, no, we do you claim these guys i'll be damned i wouldn't mind getting involved in a nice high school rivalry we we had one we had a rival but they were bigger than us they were a class up so wasn't the same we had a rival they were fucking joke though we beat the fuck out of them avon they suck ass they suck so much fucking ass, it's unbelievable. You wouldn't believe the amount of ass they suck. Still suck ass?

Still suck ass. Nothing good there. Nothing of no notable residents in the Wikipedia. No. It's a fucking joke of a notable resident. Is that another town or another high school inside your town? Another town. It's a town over. What's a better rival? Another high school in your town or another town? I think town? Another town. It's a town over.

What's a better rival, another high school in your town or another town? I think it's another town. Two towns, right? Another town is classic. Yeah. Town next door. Yeah, you share no pride. Yeah. Shock to Hatchie and Fort Walton Beach, and Fort Walton Beach was quite the rivalry.

No kidding. Where I grew up was a lot of, it was just like, there's the town name and then the high school in that town is town high school. Yeah. You know? And it was very simple. You understood it. Brownsburg High. Yeah. It was just like the town name and then the high school in that town is town high school. It was very simple. You understood it. Brownsburg High. Yeah, I went to Brownsburg High and fuck Avon.

It's simple. That's a message we can all get behind. That's America. Yeah. I went to West Point High, and I don't think towns that have a high school that's not named their city uh those are bad towns i like that yeah but if you're confuses me yeah you're from stevensville stevensville idaho and your high school is named um i don't know broad street high or whatever yeah you know be named after the county could be named after yeah i guess but it's named after a dude like walter johnson high school i mean's confusing. It's not intimidating. It's not confusing.

The rivalry hits better, too. I was from Coatesville High School, and Downingtown High School was a town next door, and that was their name. And it's just like Coatesville versus Downingtown. Oh, I like Downingtown. Don't they have an East and West? Tell me more about Downingtown. Yes, they have an East and West. They have an area.

Downingtown sounds pretty awesome. We beat them in sports, but they were a lot wealthier. How do you know about Downingtown? Yeah, wait. How does that? I know Downingtown? Yeah, wait. How does that? I know Downingtown. Okay. So many of those schools in PA were wrestling powerhouse.

Yes, that's true. How's Antioch football looking this year, we think? I don't know. I just texted the defensive coordinator the other day because I'm getting excited. I have a relationship with the defensive coordinator. You texted the high school gym coach? No. Me and the defensive coordinator are like this. And I texted

him and got the schedule, so I'm getting ready. I don't know. We lost a quarterback last year, so hopefully we'll be good. Yeah. Do they record the game so you can watch them all? No, I just I'll text him on Saturday morning if i didn't go

and i'll be like all right so how they look like how the boys look last night something like that i haven't texted him see how the boys are looking because it's early in fall camp you don't know how the boys you can you can glean a lot of information from a game based on just asking the coach how the boys look yeah yeah yeah that's uh that's basically like watching it he's always gonna down talk him a little bit or the coaches are always gonna down talk but it's just but you can't down talk them enough yeah but if they won like uh it would say something like if they won 38 nothing obviously the boys were good but it'll always be like yeah that other team wasn't very good it'll always be something like that who's the antioch's rival who's their big oh lakes of course lakes high school lakes high school lakes high school

and lake villa i believe what's their nickname i'm – well, I'm not closer to Lakes, but I'm right on the edge. I'm right on the edge. Like across the street from me is Lakes territory. Wow. But I'm in Antioch. I can see Antioch from my house. Lakes – we beat them like 49-7 last year. Fuck Lakes.

Yeah. And I went to one baseball game. We beat them on a walk-off, 3-2. And that's about all I know. But I go through the lakes all the time. I have to drive by Lakes High School to get home every single day. Beautiful place. Toby Keith wrote his crush's phone number on the 50-yard line. Yeah.

Why? He was always the crazy one. He was always the crazy one. It was a fuck you to her. Why was it a fuck you to her? Because she wouldn't acknowledge it. How do you like me now? You won't pay attention to me.

But this was before the how you like me now stage. This was back in the day when he was still trying to woo her. He did it for her attention. She would hate him. Right. He broke into the stadium. Right. And he wrote, call for a good time.

He was an incel. Yeah. He wanted this woman. She was giving him no time of day. And he was like, all right, well, fuck you. I'm going to put your number on there so everybody calls you. How'd he get her number? Right.

I don't know. That's a good question. Phone book. Back in the day. That's true. Everybody's getting a phone book. And before I'll say 1992, the main way to get a woman was to harass her into compliance. Yeah.

Most of our grandmas were harassed into their marriages. We were harassed until we finally gave in. It was a different time. That wouldn't work today. Who was the? Most of our grandmas were harassed into their marriages. We were harassed until we finally gave in. Yeah. It was a different time. That wouldn't work today. Who was the... Grandmas, I feel like, just got... They got drafted, right?

Pretty much. Drafted into husbandry? Yep. Yes. Brandon, do you remember Frank Martin, the basketball coach? Yeah. Do you remember him telling the story of how he got his wife? I'm thinking there was a college basketball coach not too long ago that was like

yeah i to kate's point i had to basically like harass my wife to marry her and everyone was in the press conference like horrified and everybody like everybody like older than 70 was like that's a sweet story yeah i don't remember that story but i think it was frank martin if you told me it was a coach i would guess it was probably frank martin she said no eight times i had to fuck i had to kidnap her and then it was always several times yeah my grand persistent my grandpa met my grandma married her like a month later and then went to korea he was like i'm going to war and she just had to like chill while he was gone. There were no rules back then. You just kind of court a wife, and you're like, I'm going to go fight some random people.

Well, I'm sure you guys are following the Ballerina Farms drama. Yes. Yes. Okay. Are you? Yes. She's one of those, like. She's a Mormon, but she got offered Juilliard, which is they accept 12 people a year.

Right. Small Mormon family in the boonies. She gets into Juilliard. She breaks away. She's in the big city. She's like 19. She meets this guy. She's Small Mormon family in the boonies. She gets into Juilliard. She breaks away. She's in the big city. She's like 19. She meets this guy. She's like, sorry, I'm not interested.

Sorry, I'm not interested. She's flying back home. Turns out he's the son of the owner of JetBlue. He calls the airline, pulls some strings, sitting next to her on the flight the whole way home, and is like, you're going to marry me. And now they have like 12 kids. When was this?

This was like five years ago. No, this was like 10 years ago maybe. But he had JetBlue seat him. He's a billionaire. He got her an apron for her birthday this year. Rich guys can do that now, right? Rich guys, yes. I couldn't do that.

A rich guy could do that. If your net worth is over $1.5 million or above, yes. That's what I could do. If I sat next to a girl on JetBlue and I was like, I got this seat specifically to sit next to you. Police. Yeah. But if you were wealthy, I'd say.

Oh, did he tell her that? Like, hey, I did this? Yeah. I don't think it worked. He bragged about it to the reporter, like some grand romantic gesture. Yeah. And they're married now? Yeah.

They have like 10 kids oh so sounds like it all worked out no she's very unhappy on the surface she's pretending yeah it's tough yes i am following that yes it's a whole to do 10 kids the food she makes looks fantastic it looks it looks great well i'd like to see her food she makes everything from scratch this sounds like there's this whole trend online of like traditional wives like my husband wanted chewing gum so i'm staying at home making chewing gum for him from scratch there's the woman that makes her husband his own coca-cola yep she makes the family toothpaste from scratch they make like yes ballerina farm 9.6 million dollars yeah wow oh and she's a cutie patootie. And she's making everything for her husband. They have a bunch of wood in their house.

And he promised her he would build her a ballerina dance studio on the farm. He started to and then they turned it into a barn for cows. I think they teach the kids in there. Don't come in. I want to go live with these people. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't come here. I want to go live with these people.

You're hearing chaos of children constantly. I hear that anyway. Really, still? Yeah. When's that stop? It's got to be close. She made some kind of bread dip the other week that looked incredible. That looks great, too. Are pizza ovens worth it? Because you're kidding. You're spending a lot of money. The one bite one is

on the Barstool store. Yeah, for sure. But for those, the one she got, that's probably a $500 pizza oven. At the end of the day, you're making pizza. Yeah, you are. You usually do, yeah. Which is fine, but you could order a good pizza. I guess you could make good order of steaks, though.

Kyle, how many kids does a couple have to have to pique your interest in their reality show at what point are you like you know what i'll throw that on and just give it a try if i told you that this husband and wife had 20 kids amazing i was never like what's the attracted to those 10 plus kids shows though but it would have to be. Well, there, there, there's gotta be a, I mean, if I told you a husband and wife have 61 natural born kids, 61 would peak my interest. You'd be like, I have to watch like five minutes. John and Kate plus eight was blue,

blew the mind of many Americans. Right. And I feel like now we're in like an inflation era where like eight doesn't do anything for me. No, you got to up it. Dr. Klein from Indiana has like 96. That's right.

He was true. Magic juice operation. That's right. That's right. He was a magic juice operation. That's right. I am interested in that. Still haven't watched the documentary. If a doctor prescribes you juice, nine times out of ten it's cum? I think. We have a guy that just added all of us on Twitter, and I want to just bring it up.

I'll send it to TJ, and we can figure this out for this guy. But he's going out to dinner with his wife for the anniversary, and they're going to decide it with a wheel because the wheel is always just. And they put Chicago, Milwaukee, Detroit as the three destinations. We could just spin the wheel for him here if you wanted to or sean can we add things to the wheel i think we add don't celebrate anything well that's awesome sean did tag everybody on the show yeah let's that was great did he not tag you the wheel no sorry yeah so tonight it decides our anniversary destination yeah so it's detroit chicago or

milwaukee i feel like y'all want to throw like kenosha in there i think um tiny sliver you host them for a night okay my house yes brandon's house all right and then tiny tiny sliver mooks apartment and then tiny sliver skip anniversary and pretend like you forgot to wife yeah that. That's a good one. So divorce. Divorce. Divorce. Yeah. It says divorce on the slur. Here, tweet us back if you're cool with that, and we'll do a liminator. And let's also not make them tiny slivers. Let's make them all regular slivers.

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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get you some Lucy today. Are you guys going to compliment my haircut? No. Rest in peace to the voice of Jigglypuff yesterday. It passed away. I saw that.

That's an iconic voice. What did he say? Jigglypuff, Misty, and Jesse. Yeah. What's Jigglypuff? Jigglypuff's my favorite Pokemon. You've played like seven Pokemon as your favorite Pokemon. No, I haven't.

I've been firm with Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff's the Kirby of Pokemon. Yes. Yeah. The round circle? The round circle? Big old round pink can sing to put you to sleep. Oh, so Kirby's probably better than Jigglypuff.

Kirby's probably... Jigglypuff evolves into Wigglytuff with a Moonstone. Probably better than Jigglypuff. Kirby's probably... Kirby's probably buff, evolves into Wigglytuff with a moonstone. Probably better than Jigglypuff. You never got into Smash Brothers. Okay, so I bought it for the kids and the kids have it. I don't know how you keep up with that video game. I don't like it. It's just fucking chaos.

It's a smashing button. Nothing makes sense. I cannot... I'll play Mario Kart with them. I'll play some other things. I cannot play that. And they'll just be locked in. They're playing Smash Ultimate.

And I have no idea what's happening. I don't know how you keep up with what's happening on Smash Brothers. Shout out Wombo Combo. Kirby's supposed to be good on that game, huh? Is that so? I don't know. It can suck you. My youngest is always.

It can suck you. It'll suck you and take your powers. The original Nintendo Kirby I was obsessed with. That game. I liked. Yeah, I liked the Game Boy one. What did he do? He sucks. it'll suck you and take your powers the original nintendo kirby i was obsessed with that game i liked yeah i liked the game what do you do he sucks he sucks yeah i was obsessed with that game for some reason yeah yeah damn it was too young for me but when i had kids they are they're all drawn to kirby for some reason he's cute things. They all like that one the most. It's fair.

It's a very easy game, though. No. It's not? I'd go right through it. And Kirby? Yeah. You beat the whole game. You beat bosses?

I don't know much about Kirby. What's his backstory? He lives in Dreamland. Yeah, he'll eat things and then blow it out as- He blows and sucks? And he can kill whatever he sucks in and blows out. He can kill with his blow. But if he swallows you,

he can take your tributes. Yeah. Like if he swallows a boomerang thrower, he'll start throwing boomerangs. If I swallowed you, then I'd just be like a douchebag.

He travels underwater via fish mouth. He'll be swallowed by fish and then... He sucks and blows. Blows and occasionally swallows. Rides a hamster. He swallows a lot.

Right? He swallows a lot. He swallows a lot. Right? He swallows a lot. He swallows a lot, but you could spit as... You could swallow and spit to kill enemies. Spit a mad far. Mad far. You guys ever play suck and blow at a party? Yes. With a piece of paper?

Oh, no. I was high up. Oh. What are you talking about? You have to pass it around the circle. I remember that. We had a different game. I don't know if I called it suck and blow. Yeah, we had a different game called suck and blow.

And if you drop it. Then you end up kissing the person who, yeah. Put it on the wheel, TJ. I played get rejected and cry at a lot of parties. Yes. It's your favorite game, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much every day. So Mark, when you were the quarterback,

did you ever get any like crazy perks any local in high school yeah uh no any whipped cream bikinis with uh i thought they're i thought yeah the movies make it seem like yeah there'd be a there'd be like a a fucking mid-50s guy rolling up in his convertible and like, hell of a game, young man, and toss you like a silver dollar or something? Yeah, that didn't happen? Didn't really happen, though. Did your dad want you to have his laugh?

Yeah, kind of. Like you walked into parties, the room had to have hushed and everybody looked at the door. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. For sure, yeah. Did you. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. No, it wasn't.

Did you ever, like, flirt with the homely girl that transferred into school and take her glasses off? I did. Yeah, yeah, I did. I actually did. I actually did. Yeah, I figured. I told a lot of girls they were prettier without their glasses. I was best friends with her, and she never saw my true potential. She went to you.

Yeah. best friends with her and she never saw my true potential to you uh yeah is there you know how like a shark will always have that one kind of fish that hangs out on it or more do quarterbacks like they're always with the tight end like they have a main oh yeah like a position you associate with like these two are always there's always a fat offensive lineman hanging around the court yeah yeah okay i was pretty close with one of my receivers um i hated football though i fucking hated it i just played it because i thought chicks would like me more did they yes yeah they did they definitely did yeah for sure but the sport itself i was like this is especially the high school level being a quarterback is just like drop back and just get fucking smoked yeah i get yelled at

by the coach yeah but like a small town high school starting quarterback can fuck most wives that is 80 true we had a we had a blind center what i had a blind center when i played football uh for it's a true story he was a great wrestler he was an awesome wrestler there's some good blind wrestlers he had he had a great feel for like yeah he'd snap the ball and then he would he'd line up like the guards would tell him or i'd tell him there's like a guy lined up on your right or left and then he'd snap it feel him and then he could fucking pancake the guy when he'd feel him but like if he couldn't feel if he didn't have a feel for it the dudes are just like other other the other coaches would figure it out that the center was blind and they would just put two guys like right in the a gaps and he'd snap the ball

and i'd have just like two guys and i i didn't have the authority to audible ever like my coach told me like you don't we fucking call the play you fucking run it and i'd like get up to the line i'm like we have a blind center there's two guys standing right in front of i'm about to get smoked and that happened a lot and so you were under a lot. You were under a blind center. I was under a blind. He had tunnel vision. He's probably really good at smelling and stuff. Great guy.

Who was the backup? Yeah, backup. The third string center behind the blind. He would beat your ass. His only deformity was his eyesight, which is kind of important. How blind was he? Totally? He had like tunnel vision or like it was deteriorating.

Like I don't know, like maybe he's fully blind now. I don't know. He was a big boy and he could fucking throw his weight around. But, yeah, that was my high school football experience was like, all right, we're going to call a pass play. And one of those two guys is going to take my head off. Sounds like your coaches were kind of shitty. Yeah, maybe.

I don't know. Was the blind center one of the coach's sons? No. I think he was a state. He might have won state in wrestling. He was a heavyweight wrestler, and he was really fucking good. I think he was second or third in state every year. Yeah, there were some tough blind kids, Some tough like no-legged kids.

Well, no-legged kids have a huge advantage. Yes and no. If they train hard enough and they're like strong, like insane advantage. Yeah. That's a good lane for you to get in, Kyle, though, is to just be like – or maybe, Nick, maybe that's your thing is like kids with no legs shouldn't wrestle. Keep them out of our wrestle. That's not fair.

Kyle, you can't shoot them. It's like kids with no legs shouldn't wrestle. Keep them out of our wrestle. That's not fair. You can't shoot them. Start a culture war of that. It's just so fucking unfair. It's really hard. Kids are going to start doing it on purpose. What about my son who has legs? I never realized, Kyle, that wrestling, high school and youth wrestling events were such a good goldmine for bad parental behavior.

Did you see that push? That is the epitome of abusive parents. I know. I saw the push. But I didn't. We didn't have wrestling in Mississippi. There's not high school wrestling. So I never knew it.

But apparently that's just where parents go to act like complete dickheads. Oh, my God. It was so bad. Kids were just sobbing their eyes out for six hours getting smacked around yeah the moms were the worst really yeah the one that was viral last week was just a dad walking out there and just pushing the shit out of the ref i mean pushing i saw that like assaulting him like and then the mom the mom walks out and is yelling at the ref for getting pushed.

Yelling at him for getting pushed? Yeah, be like, this is why he pushed you, because you're yelling at my kid. Don't yell at my fucking kid or my husband will push you again. Oh, do we have that video? That video is crazy. I don't know how to find it. I think it might be getting worse. Now we've got money on the line with NIL.

And wrestling is making some money. I think it's getting worse in every sport. I think youth baseball is getting worse. What sports are becoming less lucrative that are offered at the high school?

I guess none. I kept waiting for field hockey to crack the big time and we're still crickets. Not a lot going on in that world. You guys are beasts

though. Field hockey? D2. Were you rugby too? I thought you were field. I was field hockey? were you rugby too? I was field hockey and then I fucked up so then I played rugby what do you mean you fucked up? partying and being dumb I didn't get thrown off I left voluntarily

and then you fell down to rugby? we were the number two team in D2 that year my freshman year that implies that you lost that number two team in D2 that year. Wow. My freshman year. That's impressive. Yeah. That implies that you lost that number two spot. Or you got second? We came in second place that year. We were at the championships.

We went all the way to Lowell, Massachusetts. It was very exciting. So you are a NCAA runner-up? I guess so. I have a blanket in my house still. Wow. Wow. Why did it take so long to learn this? You were the most accomplished. You were almost an NCAA champion.

Yeah, I was very close. God. Wow. And then I got to America. Titus, you're just Final Four, right? We were runner-up as well. Oh, okay. So two finalists.

Wow. I got nothing. Is that the worst day of your life? Losing the national championship? Yeah Yeah I guess so yeah Not too bad Pretty good life

Yeah it's pretty fucking awesome Hardest thing I've ever had to go through That was Yeah I know how you feel Yeah Only Kate and I Oh yeah this was

Is this it? Yeah I think this is it Is this in a Where is this? I don't I think this is it. Is this in a... Where is this? I don't know, but the ref is just... That's in a hotel. Yeah, it looks like it's in a hotel. There we go.

And... Oh, it must be on the second floor. Hey, get out of here. Fuck off. Oh, skip him. Yeah. It's not about you, buddy. He's doing way too much, too. I see who's going to get pissed.

She's lurking back there. There's no eye poke. He poked his own eye? But I called for injury time. Oh, that's the ref. Oh, that's the ref. Oh.

Okay. Fair enough. I apologize. Also, it turns out the ref is a lawyer. I knew that. Yeah. A lot of refs are. Really?

A lot of NFL refs are. Is this West Virginia? full 90 a lot of reps are wrestling you get 90 seconds for injury time a lot of nfl reps are and you get two basically two timeouts you can call for injury time twice west virginia what is that 90 seconds or you can take it oh he took the full 90 seconds so after the the takedown they're gonna reset with a lot white singlet on bottom red sing on top. And there's a bit of a scramble and they move towards the wall. And I have to say that Matt was entirely too close to the wall. Oh, certainly. Yeah. Yeah. That is not happening.

I would not call a match where the edge of the circle is this far from the wall. I wouldn't. That's crazy. I'm going to say move the mat in this far from the wall. That's crazy. I'm going to say, move the mat. In this sort of independent tournament, I don't have that power. Oh, he's not that rough. He's a rough. Oh, no, I think he was the rough.

There's a little bit of an exchange right at the wall. It still takes a while to get to the shove. Long story short, he tells the kid to stop doing something, and then the dad goes crazy. It's a tremendous shove. Yeah. And on the... Oh!

The side, back, whatever. Oh! Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's good. He really got into it, legs and all. So I certainly wasn't expecting it. That hasn't happened to me before. That guy has a Bible verse tattooed for sure.

100%. I was expecting the wife to come up and be like, that's enough, honey. Instead, she's like, let's fucking go. Yeah. She's a ride or die. Which I kind of like. It's very romantic

It is West Virginia Kyle Why would they be One of West Virginia though That's not the West Virginia wrestling team Surely It's a good shove Real good show it was a good shove nice so more of that i i think it's the trashiest part about me is i like i watch a lot of umpire parent

confrontations a lot of ref parent confrontations i like nascar post-race shoves those are good those that's a thing oh yeah oh yeah those are big time happens like every single race almost yeah i just i people getting that mad at a little league sports event i just i will never i've been doing little league sports events for 10 years now and i just never have gotten that mad well because it takes one moment to traumatize a child and they want to never play sports ever again i've had a guy trying to, like, getting loud at me and trying to challenge me, but I was like, I'm not here. What were you?

I was the other coach, and he got sassy with me, but I just said that we're not really in a position to yell at each other here because I'm always the voice of reason, you know. I saw you at the reptile house at the Turtleback Zoo. Well, first of all, I was in line, and he wasn't looking at the line. house at the turtle back zoo first of all I was in line and he wasn't looking at the line he was looking at his fucking phone Steven you went to the zoo the other day

I did Brookfield yeah how was it it's good it's very big but if you're going to be the leader of the zoo crew and I don't know who all was in the text but I think I speak for the rest of the zoo crew more notice maybe don't tell us at 1130 that text, but I think I'll speak for the rest of the zoo crew. More notice. Maybe don't tell us at 1130 that you're going to the zoo at 1230 on a day.

It's like 90 minutes, but yes, yes. Okay, sure. 90 minutes. It was 90 minutes and not 60 minutes. Maybe don't tell us the day of. Yeah. That's on me. That's my bad.

All right. There will be more notice next time. Because I will go to a zoo, but I'm not going to go as you're packing your car up and sure yeah i'm renewing my pass we got some more time okay text the zoo crew group chat kate yeah you you were both in it uh yeah he texted us i need a little more time yeah that's fair i gotta rev the crew up it's a big takes a while yeah takes about four hours to prepare to go somewhere for 20 minutes it's the general what about the come down the come down of going somewhere oh that's another couple hours to forget it post yep uh yeah yeah yeah it's tough here's a heads up for everyone

did you know you can get blue jays at cubs tickets this friday right now for only 32 dollars but you certainly can't do that mark no you can it's true and at Cubs tickets this Friday right now for only $32? Well, you certainly can't do that, Mark. No, you can. It's true. And that's enough heads up for just about anyone that wants to go to that game. That's right. Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event.

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download the gameTime app today. Last-minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. I think I was nosing around on GameTime today. $4. $4. Actually, forget I said that and then guess, Brandon. How much do you think a ticket to watch the Yankees and White Sox

is going for on GameTime right now? $50 to $60. I'd say like 35. That would be low. No, dude. It's four. What? Four what?

It's $4 on game time. This morning I was looking at it, and I thought, do I want to go to this? No, but if I did, that's a pretty good deal. That's a pretty good deal. Do we have a Dante update when he's coming to get towel? He's here. He's here? He's sitting by the popcorn machine, so whenever you guys want, I tell him to come by around 1. We got a towel?

Do you think he put on like four pairs of underwear today? Is it bare-ass? Do we ever do bare-ass? We did bare-ass for Big Cat, I think. It's normally down to the boxer. Yeah. Let him know that... I have a sports thing to talk about i watched a documentary about yogi barrow last night how was it he got really screwed over by who a bunch of people like abused

no the yankees fired him one time when he was the manager and that's sports oh it's good i missed that yeah what i'm just trying to fit in a little better so i watched something about sports last night i always wondered about yogi barra because he's attributed a lot of quotes and i mean a lot of them they talk about that wonder how many he actually said not all of them just a few you could just steal shit back then and it would be yours that's like there's a million quotes attributed to Marilyn Monroe she like never said any of them uh yeah was she a smart woman she was the woman with the shoulder her she stood over the great and her pussy yeah yeah and I'm Anna de Armas played her in a movie called blonde and I'm pretty sure

I didn't see the movie, but her pussy talked. Her pussy had like a voice act. Who was the character in the film? Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria did an Indian accent on her pussy. Is that a real thing? I'm pretty sure her pussy was a character. Her pussy had dialogue?

Yes. Hell yeah. Wasn't that... I hate it when movies have pussy dialogue. But that's something that should be talking more in fiction. A pussy? It's got a natural mouth. There's not enough pussy characters.

Maybe I'm wrong. I haven't seen them. Where's Gooch? Gooch is horny for Ana de Armas and loves movies. There is a pussy-driven movie. Teeth? It's called Teeth, yeah. Yeah, about vagina dentata.

I watch that a lot. What? It's about a pussy that grows teeth, and it's this girl, and she'll sleep with a guy and bite their dicks off and spit it back at him. Sounds awful. It's like an evolved chastity belt. I'll be damned.

Did you see Dante? Yeah, he said he's coming. Good, good, good. I heard screeching tires from the front of the mud. Oh, I got some gripes. People are parking in my spot. Oh, yeah, what the fuck? My employee of the month spot. Kyle, one employee of the month. Oh, no shit.? People are parking in my spot. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? My employee of the month spot.

Kyle, one employee of the month. Oh, no shit. And people are always in his spot. Yeah. Now, people may say, Kyle, you don't have a car. I don't think that matters. It's just still, it kind of rubs me the wrong way. Yeah.

It's not your spot. Who's parking in it? You want to put them on blast? I don't know who's doing it today, but I've seen. I saw, I didn't know it was your spot. I guess somehow I missed that whole big thing. But someone was parked there yesterday. All day.

I think it's somebody that really likes to cook. It's Chef Donnie. It's Chef Donnie. They're a problem. They be stealing spots. Tim and his brother. Oh, really? He makes his brother drive so that he steals a spot.

Smart move. Wow. I thought it was White Sox Dave's spot. Was that he steals the spot. Smart move. Wow. I thought it was White Sox Dave's spot. Was that last month? That was last month. And that just shows how phony of an award that is. Oh, fuck. Damn it. Yeah.

White Sox Dave was the first ever employee of the month in this office. How did you win it? I don't know. I was just told. Because White Sox Dave won it. They had a competition. Oh, he won it in physical combat. They had that thing out there.

Oh, that's what I thought it was. That inflatable thing. Yeah. Yeah, but Kyle got it this month. Oh, congratulations. it in physical combat. They had that thing out there. Oh, that's what I thought it was. That inflatable thing. Yeah. Yeah, but Kyle got it this month. Oh, congratulations. All right. Go tell Donnie to move his car. Tell Donnie.

Donnie should have to move his car. Yeah. That's the only... Yeah, I'll tell him. Go get other Donnie. Bring them both in here. See if they want to fess up. They get a chance.

I had to stop parking where I was parking because I got a note on my windshield the other day. By whom? I think I showed you. Yeah, what did it say? It's in all caps and big letters scrawled, this is not a parking spot. Well, yeah, you're parked in the lane

where people have to get out. Parking chairs, parking the handicap. I guess I am the asshole once again. It looked like it could be a spot. It was in a puddle. It's August 1st. Right. It's his month now.

No, my month started August 1st. Your employee's month? Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. He got awarded the... Take a seat. We got to hash this out. When did your month... How'd you get a month?

I got White Sox Day. He gave it to me after we did the... White Sox Day was last month. This was July. Oh, no. That happened mid-July and then started August 1st. Where's Paige? Allisac got it all of July for no reason.

Well, how did Kyle... Who told Kyle? I don't know. I don't know. I figured I had August. We did just assume Kyle was employed. No, no. Paige told you.

My brother drives, so it's not even my spot. Right. You have him steal the spots. No, no. Paige told you. My brother drives, so it's not even my spot. Right. You have him steal the spots. It's not stolen. White Sox Dave gave me it. You can give employee of the month spots?

I guess, if you're White Sox Dave, yeah. If White Sox Dave doesn't have a car, why did he compete for the spot? That's a better question. I don't know.

I did too. Yeah, it's not a spot. It's a space you can use for anything. What are you going to use it for? I was going to set up an encampment. Once August ends, then it's not a spot. It's a space you could use for anything. What are you going to use it for? Moving? Pod? Once August ends, then it's open again.

Paige said you were Employee of the Month, Kyle. Yeah, I was told. Let's get Paige in here. We need Paige. Yeah, you did the commercial. Hmm. What's up with those pants? They're good pants. They were good pants pants i like those pants

oh i gotta go see if that tv's gonna fit in my car you did you bring the uh there's no way i brought the big cat car yeah it's not my jeep i brought the bigger car oh yeah but we know it doesn't dan tried to get it dan didn't try oh okay he just said he tried hey dante dante what's up dante uh i think i need to whip your ass yeah is it my understanding i gotta give you a whipping we gotta just right on the ass real quick yeah do you need me to even sit down for this i didn't you're gonna need to be uh up the ass gonna need to be up dante what's the most eye-opening event that's happened to you in the last two months you sit down for that personally yes almost has to be right man that's a tough question i have a seat over here please page

we're finding out about dante's life right now but we're gonna that's a tough question i don't know do you have something in mind that you're expecting me to say no no i haven't had my eyes open in quite a long time and i'm due oh is that thing soaking wet oh you're a dead man oh yeah oh yeah titus is a great towel spanky spin wait what is it is there chalk on that what did I just see come off the... That's water. It's mist. Oh, it's water. Oh! That'll pop a ball.

Dante, why don't you go ahead and stand up? Where do I stand for this? Right in the middle of the stool there. Squeak! And if you'll drop your pants a little bit. That's perfect. That's fine. Wait, I have to moon?

No, no, it's fine. Maybe a little boxer if you want. Get my slow-mo ready. How about this? I'll help you out. You don't have to stand. What? You don't have to stand. What's he going to do?

Bend over. You can lie down. Prone position. Yeah, we always assume ass. Do his ass. Do his ass. Do the ass. He wants his ass done. Oh, here we go.

All right. Get another one. Get another one. It's got to be real. Yeah, that one's not. It always takes one warm up. Oh, wait, wait. How many do I have to do?

Until it's a good one. Until it's a good one. That was pretty good. That wasn't great. It was like my tailbone. Oh, that one counts. That's a good one. That one counted.

Did that one land? I kind of like that. All right. Paige? Yeah, what's happening? What the fuck? What? Did you fuck up?

Jesus. You lied. What? Is your ass hurting? What did I lie about? No, it's like tingling a little bit. That's impressive. I just will do that.

It's impressive. Paige will do that it's impressive uh page who's the employee of the month for this month dave dave who white socks dave yeah really based on what has kyle been told anything i was honored with that award last week oh uh because based off of the instagram poll right right? I don't know what it was. Yes. Then, yes, it's KB. It's me. So is it Dave or KB? It's KB.

So who gets to the parking spot? Kyle, is that a little too close for your liking? I don't know who ran this. So it's Kyle. To be completely honest. Yeah, KB. But I did see that KB won it. KB is the rightful owner of that spot and can do whatever he wants.

So White Sox Dave is claiming the spot too? No, he's not. White Sox Dave claimed the spot and gave it to Chef Donnie. No, that was based off of the previous month. Okay. Yeah. So it's Kyle's spot. It's Kyle's spot.

So if Kyle wants to have Donnie move his car, he's authorized to do that? He can go up to him right now. He can do whatever he wants with that spot. He can go lay in that spot. Well, do you want to do that, Kyle? I want a balloon artist. Oh, okay. For that spot?

Yeah, tomorrow. Okay. I can make that happen. I actually know one. Yeah. Of course you do. You know, if you want one, I can get you one. But, Dante, you know good?

You did. Why are you hollering? You had it for the time being. And it also wasn't you. Yeah, you didn't even do anything. You did nothing. You earned nothing. No.

No. Yeah, it's you, Kyle. And tomorrow, Chef Donnie's car won't be there. It'll be Dante's balloon artist. I've never seen Chef Donnie mad. Is his shit good? He's red. Oh, Kyle. And tomorrow, Chef Donnie's car won't be there. It'll be Dante's balloon artist. I've never seen Chef Donnie mad. Is his shit good? He's red. Oh, yeah.

Tell him no animals. Breaks me out. Anything else? What are you fucking? What else? I don't know. No animals. A sword.

Flowers. Just easy caviar. That's an easy ask. We can make that happen. That cuts his repertoire right in half. I want to work that boy. See how good he really is. Bicycle.

He can do bicycles. He can do ATVs, bicycles, any modes of transportation. There's no animals. Dante, can you give him a call right now? Kyle, could you call him? I was telling him, you know that place Doolin's down the street at the intersection? I don't know Doolin's. It's like a party store, they call it.

They sell the weirdest shit in there, but they rent out balloon animals. Or balloon animal makers. Again, I don't want animals. Do you personally know this guy? No, I just... Oh, I thought you had a guy. I thought you had a guy. I've used them before.

Sounds like you had a friend who was in the balloon artistry. Kyle, give Doolins a call right now. No, I just know where to get them. Doolins. We can make that work, though. They also sell strip cards, too. What are strip cards? Strip cards.

You know when you fucking sell ten numbers and you pull the numbers? Oh, I didn't know about those. I thought it was something. You know what strip cards are i i thought they were like i thought it was a i thought it was for like strip poker yeah yeah like baseball cards are you guys are you guys kidding me you've never used a strip why are you hollering what is a strip everybody's hollering what a strip card is all right so super bowl you get four of them each quarter you get 10 people to put in say 20 bucks so it's like a

scratch off everyone writes their name on on a line and then you pull the strips and it reveals the number that you get for that quarter i'm not following sorry i don't oh my god they're crazy i will get a balloon artist so kyle you are you are in that spot. For sure. Balloon artist, no animals. You got it. No orange, either. I don't like orange. For tomorrow? I don't like orange, either.

Tomorrow? Okay. Oh, that's exciting. Fuck yeah. Well, that's something we got going for us tomorrow. I'm trying to think of what non-animal I want. What did you do to win employee of the month? I won a poll.

I was voted. Just for popularity? I don't know. Are you mad you weren't in the poll? No, I'm just curious what he did to... It was Eddie, KB, and Mincy. What did White Sox Dave do to get nominated? Your tone is very accusative.

White Sox Dave won a joust. Sorry, you're right. I'm just curious. White Sox Dave won a joust? We had an inflatable joust thing right out here on the court, and he won that. Why he competed despite not owning a car, we'll never know. Who did he beat? He's got no reach.

He beat Donnie? Apparently. Wait, why would Donnie then get the – because Donnie lost. White Sox Dave gifted it to him, I guess. Wow. Good competitor. That's a sad look for Donnie. That's a sad look for Donnie.

The employee of the month spot is like the Alibok of this company. Just a spot that we all think we want, but everybody that gets it doesn't really know what to do with it. I still have the Barstool Beast. What was your metaphor, though? Do you have one? Were you the first one? Illabuck. They never gave one out, right?

Whatever the fuck it's called. They said we got the Barstool Beast. I think we bullied that person. I don't even know how to pronounce it. Illabuck? Illabuck, right? Illinois? I don't know.

That's the point. I went to Ohio State. I already forgot about that. I don't give a fuck about that turtle. Did y'all ever win a Barstool Beast jacket? No. No, I kind of forgot about that. You guys have won some things.

When? I haven't won anything. I won rock, paper, scissors. What have you won anything. I won rock, paper, scissors. What have you won? You just won a gold medal, bro. I don't know if you remember, but I hit a three right here to win the basketball gold medal. Mook gave me a pass, and then I hit it

in Titus' face to win the basketball gold medal. That happened last week. Not as cool as Stephen Che hitting four back-to-back plays. I feel like we didn't give that enough credit. The belly full of beer and two glasses of red wine. Not as cool as Stephen Che hitting four back-to-back plays. That was crazy. Running to the finish. I feel like we didn't give that enough credit. The belly full of beer and two glasses of red wine.

How did you feel later that day, Steve? Not too bad. I ate dinner. All right. Son of a bitch. You guys all going camping next weekend? Yeah. Or next week?

Next week. That must be nice. Take my spot. I got disinvited. Oh, there's a list of people. The invites? Can we talk about being on the same list as Ben Mintz? Was it the...

I wouldn't. Okay. What, are they telling you not to? I'm on a list, too. You're on a list, Kyle? A certain very popular brand What? I don't know about that

What brand? Okay don't say it Very popular? I can right? No you probably can't Nike? Wait how did you find Yeah it's Nike

Kyle can't It's probably Close to Nike in Coca-Cola? Revenue So wait And you're not allowed to... McDonald's? Close, but so far to some people.

McDonald's? But wait, you're not allowed to participate in their things? How'd you lose to Donnie? Yeah, their sponsored videos. How did you find that out? The person who does their content told me. There was a brand that they wouldn't let Tommy Smokes near because he didn't embody the brand of cool and relaxed.

Did you get invited here, Dave? I was told to come in, yes. By who? Paige and someone else over there. No, it's definitely not someone else over there. No, whoever's on the camera. Was it Cody or Shane? It was Goldfinger. It happened seconds ago and you don't or Shane? It was Goldfinger.

It happened seconds ago and you don't know who? It was Goldfinger. Hello, Dave. Hello, Brandon. What's our question for Dave? I don't know. I was told that. I have no business with Dave. Yeah.

We didn't know you were coming. I have no business with you. Yeah, I think your job here is done. Thanks, Dave. I wanted to know how Donnie lost to you. In what? In joust. he is the height the reach this happened last month anything personality and looks i don't know what anything hello i don't know oh we had out here oh i thought you were talking about donnie does i'm like how do you get here every day i walked to work so someone said i gave it to donnie i may have but i don't

recall i probably just said whoever wants the parking spot can have it but you're not employed this month i am this month no you're not that was last month no it was august no for august yeah then i had it for like a day because i recorded that on like the 29th of July. A shame. Yeah. Okay. Well, I won it. Why'd you compete knowing you didn't have a car?

I was told to. I mean, I have used it on days where it's rained and stuff. So I thought you said you didn't have a car. I thought you said it was the 29th. You had it for one day. Well, apparently, I thought I had it for August. Someone, Nick just said I had it for July only because it's Kyle this month. It is Kyle this month.

Okay. Well, there's your spot. I guess Donnie's parked in your spot. I figured out a use for it. But you told Donnie to park in his spot. I said whoever wants to park in it can park in it. Tomorrow it's a balloon artist. He can park it.

What would you like? Oh, no, he's not driving there. He's going to be making it can park in it tomorrow it's a balloon artist he can park what would you know he's not driving there he's going to be making um be careful give us a color and a thing you want a color uh a red white and blue carousel yeah he can do that yeah carousel that's the weirdest that's very complex yeah i want i was thinking of something that i think with the horses yeah yeah exactly yeah that would take no horses but i get it it would be a carousel without horses That's very complex Yeah I was thinking of something With the horses on it Yeah exactly That would take No horses But I get it

It would be a carousel without horses Like the whole airplane Why would you have a carousel without horses Just no animals Yeah No that's too easy No no the rule is no animals Oh

You can think of maybe like a verb That you can think about A verb Yes He has to. Is this going to be a verb? I'm trying to think of something. Yeah, he has to.

I want it to be an abstract, something that you can't physically make. Really fuck him up. Like a verb. Yeah. Well, a verb can be physical. Like what? A verb. Like what? A verb. Like rape?

Yeah, yeah, that's physical, I'd say. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he can make that. Ask him for that tomorrow. Should I actually ask him? Yeah. Okay, I'm going to. What's up with the billboard charts?

I don't know. Am I dismissed, Brandon? I miss the era when some lame group like Cobra Starship could release a hit, and it would be top ten. Dude, I forgot about that. Now it's just like all the same cool people. It's more of like who's trendy gets on the charts. I forgot about that group.

Who's Cobra Starship? Far East move. I want that type of group to have like a one-off yeah it's all chapel roan and sabrina carpenter and that you know they call that the blog error it has that was my favorite era has its own like era now it's back before streaming was huge yeah you got all your music on blogs anybody ever get music get music on blogs? I have no idea what you're talking about. Forever the Sickest Kids blew up because of their MySpace. I think they were signed before they put

out a song. Yeah. KB knows. I can't tell if that was a paragraph or the name of the group. Was the name of the group Forever the Sickest Kids or are you saying that Forever the Sickest Kids? Yeah. Cool. Warmer, sunnier days are calling. Fuel up for them with Factors No Prep, No Mess Meals.

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Head to factormeals.com slash yak50, Y-A-K-5-0. Use code yak50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code yak50 at factormeals.com slash yak50 to get 50% off your next month. That's code YAK50 at factormeals.com slash YAK50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. I fear our Costco guys are industry plants. Oh no.

Even if they weren't, they are now, right? They've been corrupted? What industry? Can someone explain to me what industry plant? Because people like that Bobby woman who does the interview, she's an industry plant. So the industry plucked her out and planted her to be successful? She didn't choose to? She didn't do it on her own, I suppose.

They know someone at the label and the label just aggressively pushed their work. You still have to be good at it. I think it's used most often for like pop starlets. It's like we as a You still have to be. I think it's used most often for like pop starlets. Okay. So it's like we as a music industry,

we need a young woman to pop onto the scene right now. So let's just take her and make her big. Oh, her dad works as the CEO of a record company. So you think the Costco guys, is it Costco behind it? Yeah, I don't know what industry. It would be Costco. It would be Costco. There was the Costco guys, is it Costco behind it? Yeah, I don't know what industry it would be, Costco? It would be Costco. There was the Costco magazine that somebody dug up from years and years ago on the cover.

It was Big Justice. Wait, years ago? Years ago. He was like a little kid. And you bought Costco stock, correct? Yeah. So it's working. Yeah.

Wow. I got a Costco membership because of that. And the membership. Yeah. Well, I got a Costco membership because of that. And the membership. Huh. Or maybe this just speaks to his credentials as being a Costco guy. He's like, I've been a Costco guy my whole life. Day one. Yeah.

This is his day one. They've been content people since day one, too. Their family was singing years and years ago. I've seen the old videos of your dad. Look. Yeah. They were always making stuff. Is this a Costco?

No. So that's Big Justice right there? That's Big Justice. No, Big Justice is the little boy. That's what I'm saying. That's him as a little boy. Yeah, that's Little Big Justice. But he was on the cover of a Costco members magazine.

I think that might have been fake. No. It looks fake to me. Fuck. What, this? No, the Costco magazine cover. Is the girl not... What's a scafettina?

Do they not use the girl like they use Big Justice? It's Ashley. I don't know who Ashley is. Yeah, they've been grinding, dude. Yeah. They've been out here. All right, so I guess the magazine was fake, and I probably... I've been falling for everything.

Falling for stuff is easier than not falling for stuff. I think I want to believe. Just go ahead and fall and deal with the ramifications. What are the ramifications? falling for everything i falling for stuff is easier than not falling for stuff i just i think i want to believe just go ahead and fall and deal with the ramifications what are the ramifications nothing yeah get embarrassed for like a half a second yeah i get ball sacked on twitter by bad sports reports all the time yeah i fell for justin timberlake has aids by an account called poo crave poo crave is damn good good. Why does that look fake? It just looks Photoshopped. You're a Photoshop guy.

Is that Photoshop? Well, I mean... The magazine isn't. Yeah, it might just be his face on a kid. Shit. Is that... Which one is that? I think that's fake.

Wait a minute. Go down to the address. That's here. Whoa. 606-14? Cope DeVille? At Cope DeVille? Who gets...

Cope DeVille? Cope DeVille, you mean? Nobody's address is their at on Twitter. Yeah. God damn it. Fuck. Dude, I thought I got caught yesterday by NBA Central, but it was the real nba central what

do they say see the pat bev quote no about the jew yeah him and dave had an exchange um pat bev had a quote out there you guys can look it up but uh every tweet underneath it was like i can't believe this is real because Because NBA Sentinel is like one of those troll accounts. All right, so it's pretty complimentary. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, that's not about Dave. No, Dave was like, what a quote.

Oh, okay. Oh. I thought it was. I thought it was about Dave. Probably about playing in Israel. Oh, God. I thought it was about Dave. Oh, no. I swear I thought it was about playing in Israel. Oh, God. I thought it was about David. Oh, no.

I swear I thought it was about David. Okay. No, no. It will be fun to watch unfold, Pep, Evan, Israel. When does he go? Got to be. I have no idea when they play Israeli basketball season. Can you bet?

Same time as every other basketball season. Yeah, I would imagine so, yeah. Damn it! Fuck! I mean, that's pretty good. Really good. That looks more real. Yeah, that looks...

That kid's fake. That looks fake. Airbrushed cheeks. So now we gotta find that kid. I probably don't, actually. don't have to at all uh i had a question i've always thought about um who is your favorite x-men character and why nightcrawler teleportation sick and he's blue and has all those tats he's awesome and he has like a cool accent oh he's super i don't know any question for you brandon name one other than nightcrawler name one x-men other than now the nixon nightcrawler other than wolverine

yeah wolverine yeah uh storm yeah stormy hally barry hally barry with with their eyes storm storm storm storm is an american gladiator. Oh, you're thinking of Thunder. No, that's an Imagine Dragons song. No, there was a Thunder American Gladiator, too. Nitro was my favorite. Why was Nitro your favorite? He just looked cool. He looked cool as fuck.

He wasn't as big as the others, and he had a long black ponytail. He was just a cool-looking dude. And he was on an episode of Married with Children. Was he the most famous of the American Gladiators ah yeah look how cool nitro looked agree to disagree i guess oh what oh is that him now i hope not i don't want to see him now oh those shorts are too low yeah oh hospitalized oh he's probably 60 years Well, that's still kind of young to be hospitalized. No, I'm going to have a heart attack any day now. Blames Roy at abuse.

Getting that thick-ass vein right above your dick is endgame hot. Hot? What's going on? What? That is like you're a good-looking man. Really? Yeah, I think that's the final What do you mean?

I thought that was disgusting. What vein are we talking about? Was that hot? No, not your actual dick vein. The one that goes down to it. Oh, you're talking about like that popping out? No.

No? No, those aren't veins. There's a feeder vein down in there? I think there's a feeder vein. It's a dick feeder vein. If you put your thumb on it you could deflate the heart on. Yeah.

You could pop it. I didn't notice that. Thank you, Kate. You're welcome. I don't think... I'll just go ahead and say it. I don't think any vein just popping out is ever a good look. Oh, it always is.

There's some veins. Even on really muscular guys, the... The bicep vein? The bicep veins are not really. Those are too much. Being vascular would be so sick. I don't think so. I think veins are something that's meant to be.

Kyle, do you want to be vascular? Yeah, but not like, I know what you mean, Brandon. Not like the three-dimensional. That's gross. Cena's got some bad bicep veins, I think. I don't want to be like the meme of that guy gripping the steering wheel of the truck. I don't want that.

And it's like you could kill him with a paper cut. Yeah. It's too much. Ultimate Warrior had veins everywhere. You don't want to be too veiny. Veiny's never a good descriptor. Huh? See, my friend, I know he's veiny, but...

My veiny boy in the corner. That's my boy Veins. I just don't think veins are a body part you want to lead with you don't want that to be your biggest how are the kids Brandon the middle one's a little veiny I'm trying to beef him up we're having a vein problem

my Brandon what a veiny boy yep takes after his mother yeah veiny kids would creep me the fuck out Yep. Takes after his mother. Yeah, veiny kids would creep me the fuck out. Veiny adults should creep you out. No, I think that looks good. I have like a very, it doesn't take much strength for like my neck veins to come out. Like that meme of that kid that's like.

Oh, yeah. Like it takes the smallest thing. Like whenever I pick up my son, I look like I'm like a weightlifter. Like it's like gross gross But I'm into that I think veins are cool Oh yeah thank you I feel handsome when it happens But like even when I'm recording stuff

When I'm talking Like I think you can kind of see it now Like I have like a creepily veiny neck I never noticed your veiny neck Now I'll never not notice it Well the only place I really show it Is on Katie Money Grabs My OnlyFans.

That's still up and running. Is that still going? You're making like 150 a month now. It used to be a lot more, but I haven't checked in. By not doing a single thing. I haven't even logged in. Like four months ago, I logged in and I was like, you losers are still here. Those people need rocket money ASAP.

Yeah. Well, whenever the chat gets super annoyed at me, which I try not to check it, but somebody will DM. I know that they're super annoyed at me because someone will DM me and be like, I felt bad for you today, so I subscribed to your OnlyFans. Oh, wow. I'm sure you felt it.

Thanks. Thank you. But they can access old material. Oh, sure. And what is like, what was the peak of your OnlyFans? What were you posting? It was like me jogging next to the train at my train station being like running train it was all puns it was more oh wow it was all puns that's good stuff that you haven't released anywhere else right you can't find it anywhere else it's exclusive yeah so only fans isn't just butthole pics or I was charging guys for a hundred bucks you could send me

a picture of your dick and I would roast it how many of those are you being I swear to god you roasted penises I had like a cut and paste thing that I was like yeah for a hundred bucks and they pay me a hundred bucks and I'd cut and paste the response about it

look at this nasty little worm blah Blah, blah, blah. Would you ever, like, I gotta, like, personalize this one because it's so unique. You had a personal touch sometimes. Did you ever look at the actual dick and come up with fresh material? Yeah.

I'd like to see. I kind of want to know. Can you read us some? Yeah, can I? I don't know. Can I describe to you a dick and you roast it? Yeah. Brandon's.

Thumbtack. You didn't describe a dick i could i could picture yours loose a lot of loose skin oh i see it now i don't have it yet that's not really and actually no veins not a single one no it's not veiny kind of forms a skin pocket oddly enough it has hot pocket we're dudes sending you hard or soft i don't i'm not picturing small brandon no i appreciate that i'm picturing like a like a bar of yellow soap you know what i'm saying i got you yeah give us some dick verbiage Kate here's my hold on traffic lights I haven't logged in on my phone

I was doing it on my work computer and then I was like uh oh maybe I shouldn't I got paranoid you can roast dicks on your work computer so I was like maybe I should stop I have to click the motorcycles hold on this is a whole thing oh

I haven't logged in here in so long dismiss I have to click the motorcycles. Hold on. This is a whole thing. Oh. I haven't logged in here in so long. Dismiss. Okay. Sorry. So exciting. You keep talking and I'll find some dicks. 151 messages. I'd rather you awkwardly.

151 messages. Unread. Are there any fresh dicks? August 8th. 20 bucks. Someone paid me 20 bucks. Saw you plug this on the Yak. Thanks for your service.

Thanks, man. What's the last time you plugged us? Unread, 150 messages. People get super pissed because they paid and then there's nothing in here. Oh, media attached. Understandable. Oh, Landar the Dragon. What is it?

Is it a dick? Oh, no, it's just him in the mirror. He's asking me what my Saturday's like, but he paid me. He sent you a picture of himself? Is he shirtless? Oh no, it's just him in the mirror. He's asking me what my Saturday's like, but he paid me. He sent you a picture of himself? Is he shirtless? Some guys do. Oh, with tips. Here's the tips. Advice?

People just paying me $10 because the chat was mad at me that day. Wait a minute. You've got to get one of these. I've got to start an OnlyFans. I have to go way back through. Kate, you are gorgeous. All right.

$5. No, this is, okay. You don't have to lie to have friends. This is fan fiction now. Yeah, I call them filthy McNasty little worms. Where is,

priority? Sorry, I have to find the dick. Do you have the dicks all saved? I don't know if they're in here forever. Dicks are forever. Then there's guys asking for real nudes, which, spoiler alert, you'll have to subscribe to find out. Ooh.

Sorry, I don't know where I'm at. I'm going to say no. That bubble isn't bursting, is it? It's growing? Only fans? Yeah. I only have 27 fans right now. That's not good.

But you're also not doing anything. So some of those guys might be dead. Yeah. Oh, my God. You might have a dead dick on your phone. You might have multiple. I bet you've got at least three dead guys. Probably.

I don't know how to find the ones that I've responded to. Kate, my dream girl. Can you search? I don't know how to navigate this okay this seems like you don't know anything about this and you promised us dick rose okay hold on she's scrolling through her emails right now she's not even nice little seven incher until I snap that thing in half. It's me with my cactus that I broke. That's not a dick roast. That's you with a cactus.

I know. I'm trying to. I don't know where they are. I have a game for the fellas. Oh, Brandon, you're in here. What? What? Topless Tuesday.

Oh, wow. I'm going to see you for my post. What's the game? It's a new bar game. so me and Malasek were doing this last Thursday at Declan's you know how like when you go to a bar and you see couples at the bar you kind of like gauge like what number date they're on I'll stare at them you stare at them right and so Malasek was setting a line on like what number date they were on and so he would set like three and a half and then i was

kind of buzzed so i would just go up to that date and be like what number date are you guys on and be fun completely interrupt the date but i think it helped them because we went up to like some people on a first date and it gave them like material yeah that's good yeah but also i was like sweaty and covered in dirt because we played softball before that it could have ruined their time but then I went up we had one couple we went up to or we thought was a couple and I asked them what date they were on and they said they were co-workers and they got very embarrassed

it's never that so how would we play this game? I have a question what is the game? the game is just going up to people and being annoying oh yeah we could do that but it's a fun game for the fellows at the bar yeah i would i would play that we were betting i wouldn't approach that would be your job the approach is fun i'll never approach yeah was your approach

direct or did you was it a creepy approach i didn't think it was creepy but i'm sure they maybe had different thoughts they probably did they laugh yeah yeah yeah it was creepy, but I'm sure they maybe had different thoughts. Did they laugh? Yeah. I had a creepy redhead. My leg was bleeding and I was just covered. Your leg hasn't healed for months. Your leg is forever bleeding. Is that the same thing from ten months ago?

Yes. That's Brandon. Scrubs episode. Sad. Yeah, you're Brandon Frazier in Scrubs. His hand didn't stop bleeding. You have leukemia. Probably. bleeding. They have leukemia. Probably.

Maybe. Turns out leukemia. You're handling that really well, Mook. I know I have something. So, I mean, if that's the answer, that's fine. It's scarred right now. So, it's never going to heal fully. It should.

I don't think it will. I've fucked it up too. And again, you got this from a stink bomb. Yeah, it smelled so bad. It smelled so bad. Your skin melted. I got this from when you two barrel rolled me on the court. That shouldn't.

It opened up my knee. I thought that happened after. That was before. Stink bomb reopened it. But that's not a life-changing injury. It was a nasty cut. He has not stopped bleeding. Does your bed have blood stains?

Maybe one. Does your bed have blood stains? Maybe once Does your bed have sheets? Yes I did my sheets last night Nice Good for you Mine for the longest time It had this dark yellow stain

All over my pillow and bed sheets Sweat? And it happened once Then it happened like two months later It's the sauce they use on Velvet Taco's fish taco. I figured that out. It was quite the aha moment. Try that, and I guarantee you yellow stains will appear.

So wait, you ate at Velvet Taco. Ordered in. And then you brought it. How'd it get to your bed? You ate it in bed. It must have gotten on me and then transferred to the bed. You sure this is not sweat? Well, there's a certain kind of fish.

It's bright yellow. Do you know there's a fish that makes slime come out of your ass? Do you know what I'm talking about? I swear to God. I think it's cuttlefish or something like that. Well, I wasn't emitting slime from my anus. It was from the taco. I'm just saying.

You have slime before. I have done that. Tell me more about this velvet tacos place I love it and of course I'm gonna be like velvet tacos great and someone's gonna be like well if you love velvet tacos you're gonna like this place it's ten times better velvet tacos ass you should try it

this place that's right across the street from my house it's so much better 45 minutes away from where you live. Yeah, you've got to get up to Hobnob. Fuck you, random person. All right. I was just excited. I want you to take me.

I was excited I found a new favorite restaurant. Can we stop there on our 10-hour drive to camp? God almighty. We're going to Canada. Yeah. Not to give away where we're going, but we're going to fucking Canada. We're going nowhere.

I don't think we have to worry about people showing up. No, because people aren't... It's impossible. No, here's a dick. It's impossible to get to. Oh, you saw a dick? Multiple dicks. I mean, you get the idea.

Oh, yeah. That there's... Oh, wow. That's a good one. That's a good one. Strong, but crooked. A little crooked. Not that there's anything wrong with that. That's what you him no god no crooked as in what he's taking money to

make worse decisions for the city oh i didn't respond to this one this is new to me oh a new dick right on the show roast him he said rape my cock and i'll stop hating and yak chat forever whoa oh that fucking guy needs his fucking ass whipped. No, he's a sad pathetic loser. I love how he's a bull. That guy hates on you in a yak chat and sends you a picture of what a fucking... He's fucking subscribed to your OnlyFans. And he paid to send me the picture because you had to pay extra to send me a picture of your dick.

God. Wow. I kind of want his name out there. What kind of floors does he have? Is it a standing cock pic? Oh, the pubes are terrible. Sorry. That was a lot.

Show mark. It's a messy. Bad pubes. Bad pubes. The pubes go down onto the lower leg. What? Bad pubes. That's a dick.

It's not terrible, but it's un-groomed, I would say. You're probably picturing a gigantic bush. No, it's just the place. It's not. It's under, but it's ungroomed, I would say. You're probably picturing a gigantic bush. No, it's just the placement. It's not. Oh, it's like, it's under the dick? Yeah. It's like on the soft part of the legs. It has a beard.

A little bit, yeah. You could smell that picture. Yeah. That's my dick. Yeah. It's like Chris Daughtry's beard wrapping around his neck. Oh. It's like a beard with no mustache.

Yeah. Uh-huh. All right.'s like a beard with no mustache. Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. Good dick, though. I mean, honestly. A couple people subscribed while we were chatting, so this is what's going to happen. So you just made some money. Yeah.

Good for you. Shout out Mook's Algebra Teacher, who just subscribed and said, yo, watching you on the act right now. There's a person named Mook's Algebra Teacher? Is there an account? Yep. That's a person named Mooks out there. What? Is their account? Yep. That's funny. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, that's the dude who was going to senior trip and shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that him? Always wanted to hang out with him. The guy I smoked weed with. Broad building.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. He wasn't doing anything weird. have you talked to him since no no uh jay can i ask you a question of course what's the best flavor air freshener to get into your car i think there's a lot you can go The evergreen trees You can go cinnamon Go some tropical

Like a Pina Colada type vibe Alright What do you think? Well you put it on the other sheet And I just have never Considered You want to do air fresheners?

I've never done an air freshener In my car Black ice When we were growing up You had You had A bunch of black ice If you had a lot It was They could I guess the rumor was a cop could pull you over for suspicion

if you have more than three air fresheners up. But you would collect black ices on your rearview mirror. You'd have 20, 30. In college, I'd put them in my vents. Well, if you had black ice in your car, that makes sense at the top of the line. Yeah, yeah. That actually checks out. That's also just one of those myths they tell us about cars, right?

Yeah, there's thousands. You can have as many air fresheners as you want. I'd imagine. Have you seen the little ones that you plug onto the air vent clips? You know, they clip and they have the gel inside? They're exploding and taking people's eyes out. What? It's a whole thing.

Not good. Your eyes out? I guess whatever's in there, not great for your eyes and they're exploding. Did you guys make spiced fruit in the crock pot at Christmas time? No. No. Never. Made cocktail weenies in the crock pot.

Oh, just to make the house smell good, right? No. Oh. No, eat it. Cherries were my favorite. I think my, I remember now my mom doing what she said, having the crock pot and making a smell good mixture in there and letting it sit all day on a Saturday. But I don't remember spice fruit to eat.

Damn. What kind of fruit? Peaches, apples, cherries. Various fruits. Very good. I miss her. I've been craving her. Did your mom have a big cinnamon broom hanging on the wall and that's where you had to do your timeouts? Whenever you smell cinnamon

you feel sad? We had a jar with cinnamon sticks in it wait is that was that a timeout thing for you what no well we had a jar in broom corner what smell good smell good cinnamon sticks we had a giant broom really and if you got in trouble it was just happened to be the timeout corner it was the cinnamon broom corner and so it smelled like old, stale cinnamon. I never had a timeout corner. Titus, you ever punch a hole in a wall? Good question. Thank you.

No, not punch. I think I've thrown a controller across the room. Okay. I punched a hole in a wall. Playing video games in my youth. In my college apartment playing Madden madden 02 i just was sitting closest to the wall and something the madden cheated and i turned i did like an andy bernard but i was there by myself so my friend my roommate ken and derrick it was me ken and derrick

and uh ken had an old painting of the sec mascots i went and got it and i moved it to where the hole was and it stayed there to where the hole was. And it stayed there almost until the day we moved without them knowing that I had punched a hole. It was like Andy Bernard. Your fist goes through the drywall, and then you pull it out? Or was it like a dent more than a hole? More of a dent.

More of a dent, yeah. My fist didn't go all the way through it. Did you, Nick? Never. He's not a... Oh. You said, did you? Does the new Madden come out today chay yes right no 16th i wouldn't know i'm not even following that anymore why i don't have any i don't have a video game system do you know do you know why i've asked jay this before he said chay said he was so good at madden that now that he has kids he wouldn't be able to have the time to be so good at Madden that now that he has kids,

he wouldn't be able to have the time to be that good, so he's not going to do it. Cowardice. Is that right, Che? I'm not making that up. Yeah. Just turn the difficulty down, brother. No, what he's saying is he has somewhat high expectations of himself. It'd be a letdown.

If he can't meet that then he he's not even gonna try so you retired like an actual athlete would yes yeah that's what he did he couldn't get the full form so once you you saw the writing on the wall the body wasn't holding up so you went ahead and rode off into the sunset i mean i used to play like 25 30 hours a week so yeah it's i can't do that anymore yeah but you could play one hour. Not fun. It's not fun to play an hour a day? No.

Once you've been on the mountaintop, you just can't play at the base anymore. Of Madden. Of Madden. Which looks like what? Which is being good? Or were you nationally ranked? This was, like, kind of before the esports had a boom. I was probably my peak in, like, 2010, 2011.

Do you think at any point in time you were a top 200 player? I don't know. I mean, I went online matches consistently and, like, fantasy leagues where people draft their own teams. I was usually the winner. So you don't even know how good you were. Yeah. So maybe not the mountaintop at all.

Top 200 would be elite, professional. Top 2,000 is elite. Top 200 is... The fact that I even debated. Yeah, it's impressive. You think you were top 20,000? Without question. That's not really mountaintop, though.

We're talking base camp at this point. That would still be top 1%. Correct. There's millions of maps. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he was ever top 20,000. No.

I'd probably be in the top 10% of amount of hours played, and I was very good. Infer what you will with that. I don't even know of that, because there's people that play that motherfucker all day. All day. I would love to have that life, but. No, you wouldn't.

I would. Horrific. That would be a bad life. You would have zero fulfillment. I don't have any fulfillment now. Yes, you do. You feel good after you perform well on a show. Yeah, it's been a while.

Yeah. I got gotta see if that y'all think the tv's gonna fit no i don't it's a massive tv i gotta get you gotta rent a truck i gotta get a task wrap to come put that thing up too you're gonna mount it can you mount a tv like that i think so yeah you can mount a big tv then you have it in the back of someone's truck that's uh gino drove it in for for paging them i think oh that's how they got it here that's how i know yeah and that's why you i tried to gino i tried to pay gino 200 to drive to my house and he said he said no

it ain't that far no it's far as shit not really it takes an hour and 15 minutes to get here every day so that's almost three hours for Gino. For $200, that's pretty good work. Yeah, it's pretty good. Well, wait, you could probably just get an Uber to follow you up there. Uber package. Are those real? I used it the other day.

Sent my keys to my apartment. I feel like if I put it in somebody's car who's not an associate or friend of mine, they're just going to drive off with it. Uber knows exactly who it is. And that would be really funny. Content first. If somebody just came in, I helped load it

into their car. And you hear tires screeching. And then they say, What happened to Sass? Like, the guy just, like, took his phone. What? When? I didn't see it.

Oh, yeah. Sass, when he first moved to New York, he was driving from the airport to his apartment, and the guy, like, took his cell phone and wouldn't give it back or something. I don't remember that story. He, like, charged it. He got in the wrong Uber.

This guy, like, charged his phone. I don't know. story. He got in the wrong Uber. This guy charged his phone. Like 300 bucks, yeah. Something funny's happening out there. I'm mess ass. He sends me fish pictures. When's he coming through again? Who knows? He's in Cleveland this weekend with Francis and Mook. Are you flying? You bussing?

We're going to Indianapolis Thursday night and then I'm bussing to Cleveland we're going to indianapolis thursday night and then i'm busing to cleveland friday morning yeah i'm looking forward to thursday night yeah yeah thursday should be fun that'd be great oh yeah where are you guys doing that at helium comedy club in downtown indianapolis oh yeah i don't know if it's in downtown i just said that i'm sure it is should be i like indy it's a great city i've never been to indy i've i drove through it on my way to the beach a couple weeks ago but i haven't been to it i've never been to Indy I drove through it on my way to the beach a couple weeks ago

but I haven't been to it I've only been to the Greyhound stop there ah how is it terrible yeah that's probably the best

it could be no it's terrible this one is terrible there's been some better ones I'll say that we gotta buy you a car

nah I'm good let's do it today don't don't don't do it we don't want a limo I do but I. Don't, don't, don't, don't do it. We don't want a limo? I do, but I also don't.

You know? All right, fuck it. I don't want to buy you a car. Okay, thank you. No, the Indy Greyhound, like, bathroom stop is legitimately a home for people. Oh, yeah. I went to go try to take a piss in there, and I, like, walked back. Is that common with Greyhound stops, though? Yes.

You got to start mega bussing. Mega bus rules. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Double-decker, outlets. I should start flying. Yeah, you should. It can't be that.

It is expensive, yeah. You wait for the day of to buy the ticket. Yeah, but you know where you're going to be on a comedy tour. You know where you're going to do comedy in October, right? Sort of, yeah. So why not just go ahead? You can probably get a ticket for $200. I don't know how much a Greyhound is.

Maybe $50? I'm poor. I don't know. $50 to get there, I'll do it. You know what I mean? It's fine. Save the money. The quality of that trip's got to suck, right?

Yeah, but it's fun. I love it. It's a good time. It's the life. Pumped to hang with Francis. Oh, yeah. Miss Francis. Yeah.

Now, is he taking the bus from New York to get there? No, he'll be flying first class in Delta. Delta 1. Yep. That sounds nice. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? We don't have time. How are you going to react if you ever become poor again?

What would you do? Why would you speak that into? There's a chance it all goes away tomorrow there is a chance but i i don't i'd rather not i'd just go to i already have a house down i'll just go live in my house in mississippi and be fine yeah you'd be fine i'd be the radio announcer for the football team i'd i'd be okay i'd just ease right back into the old life yeah i don't think you'd give up the haircuts i probably wouldn't give up the hair yeah um yeah i would just i would just use right back into the old life and be fine be just fine

is you becoming better looking the best thing that this job has given you i don't know that i'm i don't i don't know that i'm better looking you are significantly better looking i better hair but can we look at the old Brandon? It's startling. Top to bottom. The very first time you came on our radar, you had a bowl cut. Yeah, your first day in the office. You had like a fringe.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it wasn't great. I was just doing what I could. But I weighed yesterday, and I'm down 10 pounds. I saw you at 10. Wow, great. That was significant progress. I guess 10 is a stretch. It's 276 to 268.

Who's that goofy football coach? Mark Davis? Our football owner. I was getting a lot of that in the chat that day. But you were, like, crooked. Like, you looked abstract. I looked misshapen. Yeah.

Somehow you get a good paycheck and your face levels out. Yeah, I don't look like a potato. You made so much money, your right eye raised. Yeah. It's just the hair and the beard, though. If I had shaved the beard and cut the hair, I'd look just... Your face used to be covered with eczema and flakes? That still happens a lot.

No, not a lot. Well. I'm happy for you. Why do you have all this saved up stuff of how I used to look? That was off down. Yeah, I know. I've come a long way. I think, too, like we were saying before,

eczema on a wealthy guy is a lot less gross than eczema on a poor. Oh yeah. I would think so. Yeah. But I think all of us, aside from you and Kyle in this whole company, just, you get the job and you start looking worse and worse.

Not you. Oh, I look better when I first started. I don't think so. I think so. Someone DM me 20 minutes ago and and said I'm aging like shit It's shocking to look at yourself in earlier episodes I look nothing

When I first started here Downhill big You had a leech suck your bones But I mean my hair has gone Completely grey I got You have a leech suck your bones. My hair has gone completely gray. I got my whole... You have a pass. The kid's excuse?

I should get some work done and just come in here one day. You should come in here as a bimbo. Huge tits. Bond extension. That would be so awesome. Lips done huge. You look fantastic for your age. Yes.

Thank you. Thanks. Stop with that. Really classy lady. Out of here. I was fishing. Yeah. Thanks.

Who's had the worst? Titus, you're aging well. Oh, thanks, Kate. Yeah, I think it's just me and Mook. KB's aging well. It's not you. It's just Mook. No, because I think it's just me and Mook. KB's eating well. It's not you. It's just Mook. No, because I think Mook looked better when he started.

Well, then when he started. I look worse than when I started. No, because you wore that. You would wear the same hoodie every day. It was like yellow. I did have a big yellow. You were like sticky presenting. I wore blue light glasses and I didn't need to.

Oh, I thought you actually needed those. No. No. That was. I would wear those to the bar like an absolute loser. I wear glasses to the bar. Yeah, but you need them. I was wearing blue light glasses to fucking McGillin's in Philadelphia.

I was doing that too. I was offering to take everyone's picture. It was super creepy. Wait, what? I wasn't doing that. Yeah. Some people love it. Let me take your picture.

With your phone? Yeah, with mine. Some people hate it. That is funny. Hey, let me take your picture. Yeah. Where's this going? Wait, for your guy's show in Indy, do you have an opener, or it take your picture. Where's this going? Wait, for your guys' show in Indy,

do you have an opener or it's just you guys right off the bat? That's us. Balloon Animals? We got some things planned. A little bit. That's fun. We have a Connor Griffin segment. I'm trying to think of who we should have had as an opener.

I thought Yogi Ferrell. Yogi Ferrell just like spinning a basketball in his fingers. That would be so sick. But I don't know how we follow that. It can't be too good. It's tough. Someone did buy the Skybox, which I'm pumped about. Idiots.

Don't do that. How much did that cost? If you find Brandon after the show, he will reimburse you. I think it was like $800, and it came with $400 worth of food and $400 worth of drinks. Oh. And how many does it seat? I think 10.

Oh. I thought it was... So it might have been... It was probably a group. No, it was like $400 total worth of food and drinks. Yeah. So that's going to be fine. I thought it was one guy that spent like...

Cliff DeMartino. Yeah, went on with that. If a Skybox were still available and we needed it sold, one guy that spent like Cliff DeMartino. If a Skybox were still available and we needed it sold, we could go to Cliff and be sold in seconds. Cliff DeMartino offered to drive my TV home

yesterday. Wow. And I don't know if he offered to drive the TV home or if he just offered me his car. But he said I have a blank car if you need it. He got my tv hung in my first place here so he can do that stuff i need it hung so maybe cliff's gonna hang my tv too damn uh i got um i have plumbers at my house right now looking at i have a leak in my ceiling you have more than one plumber? Just one, I guess.

Is he handsome? Huh? Is he handsome? Don't know. He's not supposed to get there until 2 o'clock, so we're on plumber watch right now. I am nervous about it because I don't like – somebody comes and does work for you, you generally can tell what that work is worth.

Oh, I can't. If I had somebody come mount my TV i i can generally say you know this is worth x amount of money plumber can say he can say this costs 50 this costs 500 this costs 5 000 and i i ain't got a clue and you don't want to fuck the upper hand yeah yeah and you you gotta have you don't want to not have good plumbing you don't want to have so now i'm just i'm kind of in a waiting game to see what we're going to be out it's a blank check deal yeah it could be a leaky pipe that takes him 30 seconds it could be a real problem so digging stuff up i don't know we got a we'll see electricians are similar in that way electricity is scary though because it can kill you yeah yeah

you need that shit you're afraid he's gonna to fuck your wife, Brandon? Do it yourself. Not really. Yeah. Not really. I don't know. I think she's to the point. She's kind of over the hill enough where I don't have to worry anymore. She doesn't have cravings?

Yeah. I think she's pretty much done. Cravings? She's parked the car in the garage, and she's fine. Maybe. I don't know. Okay, you've met her. That car is parked. I don't know. Okay, you've met her.

That car's parked. I was going to say wildcat. She has youthful energy. I think you're wrong on that base. So you think there is a chance that she might fuck the boss? No, I don't think she would cheat on you. No. All right. Do you guys remember your exterminator growing up?

I had a clean house. Me too. Yeah, but not enough to remember the exterminator. That's a tough thing to remember. How often were you seeing him? Like once every...

Hold on. Hey, come on. Hold on. Once every couple months. I remember the guy that came around. Yeah. That doesn't help. My guy had around. Yeah. That doesn't help.

My guy had a funny arm. That doesn't help Moog's case at all. He would spray the house. My guy had a funky arm. He had a bad arm. My guy walked with a limp. Yeah. I think they all have something wrong with him.

Did you guys have a neighborhood handyman? Uh, no. We had him come over and he would make us watch his daughter as he was fixing stuff, and his daughter had three thumbs. That's stupid. She had two on this hand. Huh. Yeah. Yeah, we had some hand people.

I was always creeped out whenever my mom was. It was my mom's turn watching the three-thumbed daughter. I hate it. We had some exotic hands in town. Why were there hand issues in Wheeling? A lot. Is there a lot of industry there yeah it was some stuff in my drafting teacher had a lucky finger it was cut off he lost this part

but it was all it was like an inch of callus and when you were like on your phone in class you'd poke the pokes oh god mr clark i was thinking of someone else who Who would get you? One of my baseball coaches had a weird end of his finger. Oh, you know him. Yes, I do. What was his finger? I forget what his was. He would always poke us. Yeah.

Shout out Mr. Clark at Wheeling Park and his lucky finger. Hated feeling that on the back of my neck. We had a substitute with a lot of warts. Like a cat's tongue. You had a what? We had a substitute with a lot of warts Like a cat's tongue You had a what? We had a substitute With a lot of warts On her neck Oh yeah?

And we never wanted That substitute And it was just Such a shitty day When you showed up And she was there Did you guys torture her? No we didn't

It was so bad We didn't say anything Are these the type That they look like You could pluck them off Really easily? Yeah I hate those

It just didn't I didn't like when she showed up. We had an overly Russian guy. Overly Russian? Overly. Too much Russian. He was too Russian. We would tell him to go back to Russia.

It was fucked up. Oh, shit. He had a thick accent. His name was Mr. Minda. That doesn't sound Russian at all. It might have been German. Maybe so Can you get rid of warts?

Sorry Yeah you can freeze them off You can burn them off Why didn't she do that? If you have facial warts And you're a substitute Already the most Tortured person

I mean I don't know I don't know the answer to that It would have been a Daunting task It was a lot I mean, I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. It would have been a daunting task. It was a lot. Was she more wart than face? You didn't notice the face as much as you noticed.

Wow. This was 30 years ago. She might be dead or gone. I don't know. I hope so. Was she married? I hope not, but maybe she was. I don't know.

Is it true you can get warts from a toad? I don't think so. Is that a wife's tail? That's a tail. Maybe you can. i don't know she's trying to get warts from a toad i don't think so is that a wife's tail that's a that's a tail so maybe you can i don't know driving barefoot kind of deal well that's that's that's just to scare us into compliance i think that is unsafe but i maybe the the toad thing is a scarce in compliance too but although why is grabbing toads because they piss and poop in your hands. So what? What's it going to do to you? And don't turtles have like some

kind of disease on their shell if you kiss the turtle shell? I don't do that. Down the Jersey Shore, there's turtles everywhere. I'm like telling my son, like, don't kiss the turtle shell. I'm saying don't mess with the turtles. Don't mess with the turtles. I heard that turtles have something on them

that if you get it on your hands you put it in your mouth E.coli oh E.coli my fourth grade teacher got E.coli from siphoning the water out of her turtle tank wow is she drinking it out

she was stealing it from another tank to put into hers the pump was like you had to get the siphon started so you had to like suck on it a little bit and I guess it went too fast

and shot a bunch of water into her mouth and she was out for like a week and a half. So embarrassing. Yeah, I wouldn't tell anybody that if that's high.

I'm shocked that was only a week and a half. Yeah. E. coli not as bad as I thought it was? We had turtles, they were gay and we also had chinchillas.

Wow. Were they gay as well? I thought it was? We had turtles, they were gay, and we also had chinchillas Wow, were they gay as well? My first pet was a chinchilla My sister had a chinchilla at one point There was E. coli that killed a few people in our town Because they got it from Chi-Chi's, the restaurant They got it from fried ice cream E. coli? I think they did Turtles is salmonella, not E. coli

Oh, salmonella That's my bad What did Blue Bell ice cream have? Turtles is salmonella, not E. coli. Oh, salmonella. That's my bad. What did Blue Bell Ice Cream have? I think that was E. coli. I think that was E. coli. And it was, I'm not going to say it was awesome, but they make the best mousse tracks and it was on sale.

They make the best ice cream. Yeah. Were you gambling? Yeah. This is cheap as hell. Their ice cream, I think, really hurt people. And I don't think they missed a beat. No. You think Blue Bell's top tier?

I think Blue Bell's is excellent. As far as the ice cream you can buy at home, I think Blue Bell's is- Hey, you're a Turkey Hill girl. Turkey Hill chocolate peanut butter is top tier. So is their mint chocolate peanut butter. You have different brands for different flavors? Sure do. The best chocolate peanut butter is Haagen-Dazs.

Really? Yep. Chocolate peanut butter. Hands down. I'll be goddamn. I think God peanut butter is Haagen-Dazs. Really? Yep. Chocolate peanut butter. Hands down. I'll be goddamn. I think Godiva, is that one? That's a chocolate. But there probably is a Godiva chocolate.

Breyers mint chocolate chip, white with square chips, also top tier. Bluebell cookies and cream and homemade vanilla for Bluebell. There's a town called Blue Ball in PA. There is. I used to have to go craft shopping there with my mom all the time. They have the Blue Ball Outlet. And it's like a two-story craft thing. And I used to have to go all the time.

It's right next to Intercourse. Yeah. Yeah. The Blue Ball Outlet is right next to it. I swear to God, Intercourse, Pennsylvania is right next to Blue Ball. Wow. It's Amish. Swing over to Jersey Shore.

Oh, that's the worst town name ever. Then go to Indiana, California. All in Pennsylvania. Yep. King of Prussia? Titus, in Indianapolis, are we going to be close to the world's largest candle? The candle outlet? Oh, the one on-

Off the highway? Yeah. No, probably not. Fuck. No. That's like right by Ohio, Indiana. Okay. Yeah. Drats. It's a big not. Fuck. No. That's like right by Ohio, Indiana. Okay. Yeah.

Drats. It's a big candle. Yeah. Yeah. You're telling me. I only stopped there one time. In all the years I drove from Columbus to Indy and back. It's one, just one candle.

It's a building. Outdoors. They sell candles in the, it's like a candle store. Big candles. And I walked in. It seemed like a big candle. And you'll never fucking guess what like a candle store. Big candles. And then I walked in. And you'll never fucking guess what was inside

that store. Tracy Chapman. Aaron Judge. It was candles. Candles, yeah. They had candles. They had a bunch of candles. That's all it was. Kind of boring. So the club is right next to Lucas Oil.

Cool. Oh, sweet. Yeah. There's a strip club right down there too. It's a of boring. So the club is right next to Lucas Oil. Cool. Oh, sweet. Yeah. There's a strip club right down there, too. It's a small downtown. There's a... I guess the plumber. Brandon's getting up.

I think the last time I was in Indy, Deshaun Butler tore his knee. Yep, that's right. Bob Martin tried to fuck him on the court. Yeah. Just straddled him. Oh, no, wait. Were we in Indy for... We were in there. Rediscovering. Three years ago. Okay. Two times ago.

You have any ex-hometown baddies coming out to the show, Titus? Yeah, I'm sure. You know Titus. Any high school flings? No. No, I don't. Mark's back in town in town rumor has it you're wearing your Letterman jacket I will I'll try to find it I would really love that my parents probably have it at their house somewhere yeah you should definitely tell them to

dig it up are they coming? they're hoarders so they still have it I told them not to they wanted to tell them not to. I told them not to. They wanted to, but I think their read on it is like, I'm going to do a live show where I power rank the best high school basketball teams in Indiana. That is not what's going to happen.

So I told them not to come. Brandon's pacing with his hand on his head. I think the plumber is. Oh, is it the plumber? It might be plumber. Yeah. But he's like doing it in a way that he wants us to see. Yeah, yeah.

He wants. If it was real. It was a butt. It's a butt dial. And he's just listening to. Yeah. The moment everyone has been waiting for is finally here the high noon pool pack is back so grab a case

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to find it near you. Should we spin the wheel? Yes. Also, shout-out to the militia. They have my back. You're aging like a president. And then like fine wine. Thank you to my boys.

Well, president's not a good thing. I know. Fine wine's a good one. That's a compliment. Yeah. Try indeed. All right. Is that the act?

Should we wait for Brando? We want resolution on the plumbing. Let's zoom in and see if we can get a guess based off body language. Oh, he's grabbing nuts. Oh, he's grabbing nuts. Oh, he is grabbing nuts. He's grabbing hella nuts. That's an aimless pace. Nobody just chills over that.

Real bad wiener. Are you still going through? Oh, you're getting wieners sent to you? What was the caption? Oh, that's a bad w. That's a bad one. That's a bad wiener. Ew. But doesn't it make you feel good that it's not yours?

Yeah, it must. Yeah. This is the most attention-seeking pacing on the phone I've ever seen. Yeah, he wants to be seen. He knows we're doing the show, and he's standing right there. It must be bad if this explanation is taken. What's going on? Blumber. They're digging.

Oh no. Oh, two fingers? Bright has been shot. You're using two fingers? Oh boy. Oh boy. I'm guessing whatever's happening 10 grand plus.

Oh no. Why'd you do a digging two fingers that was my plumber motion that was plumber I plunge I was talking to the plumber your shit's about to explode that was my plumber he's going up in the pipe to look

he had to look in the i said nothing we don't have an active leak and uh everything's good oh that's great wait did you call because of odor huh did you call because of an odor oh i had a leak there was it leaked and it ruined my ceiling tile so he replaced the ceiling tiles and he tightened some things and he says everything's good. All right. That's good. He charged me for coming out.

What a chance. One of your kids like did something and then lied to you about what happened. Yeah. And then you came to a false conclusion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good chance. I think like when I was a kid, I did that. Well, now there's four of me. Yeah. That sucks. There's a lot, I did that. Well, now there's four of me.

Yeah, that sucks. There's a lot of opportunity for that. Now, they're not going to lie to me, but they're going to do things and then skirt around. I broke the garbage disposal with a penny once. I knocked a window out doing a wrestling move off the couch. My son put a red birthday candle in our toaster. Whenever I made toast for like three months,

I'd be like, why are there little pieces of red on these stuff it was the wax just melting off on my i threw three three high school parties i got busted by the cops and tried to play it off like we weren't drinking well ours were all innocent yours was actually kind of a crime yeah it was bad yeah were they big parties yeah they're like fucking like ragers and shit? Yeah. Some kid pissed in my basement closet. I was really pissed off. Fuck you, Mark Torres. Fuck you, Mark Torres.

All right. Did y'all spin the wheel? Yeah, we did. Yeah, wet. Really? No. Spin it. No, we spun the wheel.

Dry. Dry. All right. So we'll be back tomorrow then. Yeah. See you tomorrow. Yeah. That's it.

We'll be back tomorrow then. Yeah, that's YAK. We'll be back tomorrow. Love you, bye.