The Yak - Tony P Makes His Long-Awaited Yak Debut | The Yak 8-23-24

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Big Cat brings by a very very special guestYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in, promo code Yak. There you go. Promo code Yak, roback.com. Do it again. Do it again.

Mondays. Who do what? Me do it, though? No, TJ, run it again. Yeah, run it again. We're back. We're back. We're in the building.

How funny would it be if it starts back up and you're completely naked? You ready? Yeah. Thanks, Scott. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello, welcome in. It's SEAC It's the Yak Oh, welcome in, it's the Yak Yeah Friday

Rowback.com, promo code YAK 20% off your first purchase Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts Rowback.com, promo code YAK Yay Best bathing suits out there We are back in studio Feels good to be back

Feels great to be back Hello everyone i missed you guys my legs looked regular in the rowback swimming suit yeah yeah it was great is that the key it's the key and i kept them ah nice kyle what about me kyle dean i mean you looked there was a moment on wednesday when uh i was just like gawking at your body. Yeah. I said to Taylor, I was like, did you check out Kyle? The power of a fast. He looks so fucking hot. You didn't eat last this week.

I took like 48 hours off just because I knew I'd be shirtless. Yeah, shirtless. Listen, I'm going to admit it. Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah. Now the summer's over. Now. You're good.

Now what? You're good. Now what was all that hard work for? It was for nothing. It was just to get a compliment from you. That's not. Now you're good. Now what? You're good. Now what was all that hard work for? It was for nothing. It was just to get a compliment from you. That's not nothing. Which is everything. Yeah, but I also.

Which is everything. I went a little too far with the compliment where I was like, damn, dude. I said it too, big cat. I think I licked my lips. But it's nice that you got it on video without you having to film yourself. And now it's immortalized perfection. Exactly. Without you being vain.

Thank you. Yes. Oh, I'm vain. Greek God. I immortalized perfection without you being vain. Thank you. Yes, I'm vain. Greek God. I was gazing at you. Emphasis on gay. Everybody was competing and swimming and Kyle was just adjusting himself on a beach towel and I was like, that's how men should look. Kate, you've been mum?

I did double take. I did a couple times. That was the biggest takeaway from this past week. I was snorting your highlight reel. Oh, thank you. Yes. Thank you. If you watched it, re-watch it.

Yeah. And congratulations to Kyle and Mook. Woo. Yes. Team cheated. We did cheat. We did cheat. Yeah.

That's okay. Yeah. That's all right. We cheated on the puzzle and what else? The cooler. The rope. The cooler. Oh, the rope.

Taylor was pulling it. Yeah. Well, you weren't allowed to go over the shoulder. Yeah. So they gave us like, what, five seconds? Yeah, something like that. We did cheat. It wasn't enough cheating for me to be even remotely bothered.

We should have thought of cheating. Yeah, we should have thought of cheating. Yeah, we should have thought of cheating. That's on us. We went first. That was Che's fault for being bodied in rock, paper, scissors. How terrible is rock, paper, scissors? Or was it Ebo that ran statistically getting swept for nothing without a tie in rock, paper, scissors? Would that be one-third times one-third times one-third times one-third?

No, because you have to factor in ties, too. It was like under a percent. Well, you can either win, lose, or tie, right? You're right. You're right. So it is one-third, one-third, one-third. Or is it? But at that time, I don't know how to do these advanced equations.

Neither do I. But nobody's talking about it. Me, KB, and Rudy, back-to-back champs. Olympics, Barstool Camp. Oh, wow. No one is talking about it. No one's talking. Yeah. That goldool Camp. Oh, wow. No one is talking about it. No one's talking. Yeah.

That gold medal. Absolutely no one cares. No one will still talk about it. I'll talk about it. I had a great time, though. That was great. I hope we do that every single year. Yeah, no, there was a moment at the end of the competition where Will tried to do like

a Detroit Pistons walk-off. You had to reign him in. I had to reign him in. He was like, you guys won, and he just turned to our entire team. He's like, let's get the fuck out of here. He really could. And I was like, Will, come on, man. He couldn't handle it.

We can't be – yeah, I want to win any time I compete, but it's okay. We had a fun time. We lost. And so we then shook hands. But, yeah, he wanted out. Yeah, he didn't like out yeah he didn't like that he didn't like it at all i would also like to get ahead of this uh i have a bandana sunburn line right now yeah it's bad it's like a thick red line and it's really noticeable yeah it does

look pretty bad on the t-shirt yeah oh yeah and it turns out i'm meeting a lady for drinks today i don't know how to i have concealer i can concealer. I can help you. Wear a hat. Just be someone else. Wear the purple yak hat. Oh, you should wear the yak hat? Yeah. And it turns out Che is the worst captain of all time. By far.

Yeah. Frazzle, frazzle, frazzle. Did I tell a story on here that there was a moment where I didn't realize he was sitting right next to me, and I was like, Che's the fucking worst. And he was like, what, dude? And I just looked at him. I was like chase the fucking worst and he was like what dude and i just looked at him i was like oh i didn't see you there yeah you're the fucking worst and he's like fair that's fair yeah that's fair have a little confidence as a captain i love having chase a teammate i hate having him as a leader it was a lot of che the people don't even know

when we were they were doing the relay uh rules c did the rules, and the first thing he explained was the egg run with a spoon, and Che's number one question was, can you put your thumb on the egg to hold it to the spoon? Basically negating the entire idea of... That wouldn't be a challenge. That would just be running with an egg.

Yeah. I guess... And I actually saw it. Jay actually I think was a little frustrated by the end of it because he walked up after you guys had won and just threw an egg into the lake and just kind of walked away. That's how you know. Yeah, that was the maddest I've ever seen the man.

Mad enough to throw a perfectly good egg in a lake. He went to Lake Tahoe from the camp for a bachelor party and he stopped in Minnesota and I think he just I think he had a layover. I think he left the airport just to take a picture at the Vikings facility. It seems to be. Wait, who? I actually know. Wait, Jay's not here? No. I thought he was here too.

I just saw him seconds ago, did I not? Did he go in? He's here. No, he went in. Oh, he did. we have we have a stoolie that is an equipment manager for the bike no way yeah god and sass are gonna go in november i'm pumped wait so was his cost to to to shout out their equipment manager's job and give him a credit for doing a ton of laundry wait that those are cool laundry machines though yeah but that was a layover oh my god what awesome powers frozen that makes me

think he milk he probably intentionally did a layover just so he could see a facility 100 guy a guy just always thinking about football yeah fucking love that he's true to himself the fact that he did our camp during camp is a lot yes a lot. A lot, a lot. I think you chose to do stand-up over going to a Bucks thing, too. Is it like a rookie minicamp? Yeah. We have two special guests today, by the way. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. I brought y'all gifts.

Oh, yeah. We told you to buy them today. Also, I have a gift for Nick. Is it a key? It's a verbal gift. Oh, you have a verbal gift? Yeah. Oh, wow.

You want to do the verbal gift first? Yeah, I'll's a verbal gift. Oh, you have a verbal gift? Yeah. Oh, wow. You want to do the verbal gift first? Yeah, do the verbal gift. Nick, we just had in studio our friend Forrest Galant. Are you familiar with him? No. So he's a scientist, biologist. He goes and finds extinct animals like he does wilderness videos. Okay.

He's the coolest guy ever. I brought up to him that we think, I have a good friend, Nick, who thinks that octopus should be more higher rated on kids' lists. And he 100% agreed. There it is. One of the coolest animals he's ever encountered. So they're so smart. And this is a guy who's encountered, he's found animals. He's found animals. He found a turtle in the Galapagos that everyone thought was extinct.

This vindication feels like heroin. It was awesome. This is incredible. Thank you. Yeah. And he also said that one of his coworkers thinks they're actually aliens. Oh, actually. Like, convinced they're aliens.

That's awesome. Yeah. Octopi are sick. Yeah. I hate them. Yeah. But I love them. Yes. That's why there should be

more lauded but I was very happy for you when he had completely that feels so good because I've been I'll be walking around Chicago and I'll just be like not a top 5 animal pussy kids shouldn't like octopi I'm getting shit

that feels good alright we'll get that clip and we'll just play it on repeat maybe I'll make like a little can I make like a playing card that just plays a video like an open up a music box like a phone I guess yeah I guess

yeah that would work oh my god you invented the iPhone look at that my brain is firing. That feels really good. Yeah, I felt good for you. So, yeah, that was a verbal gift. You ready for our gifts?

Now physical, please. All right, who wants to go first, Big Cat or Nick? You only got two gifts? Hey, you said y'all. Yesterday, Big Cat said get me a gift. Nick said get me a gift. Kyle did not say get me a gift. Kate did not say get me a gift.

Moog did not say get me a gift. It was implied. If I don't like it, I'll give it to one of you three. No. Thank you. I got gifts for first of all, I've tried for Kyle. Every time I go to Manteca, Kyle's impossible to get a gift for. He is. Yeah, okay. Remember what you did last time? You got him a foam

Halloween decoration. I'm going to get Kyle a gift one day and it's going to blow all of your dicks off, but I didn't get it today. You asked for a gift. I got you one. You asked for a gift. I got you one. Okay. Who wants to go first? Me. Alright, close your eyes't get it today. You asked for a gift, I got you one. You asked for a gift, I got you one. Okay. Okay? Who wants to go first? Me. Alright, close your eyes. Me. No. Me. Him. Nick said first. Close your eyes.

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot for it. Alright, open your eyes and do rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Yep. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. One, one. One, one. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

One, one. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No. One, me. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. What are you going?

Two, two. Two, two. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ah, three, two. Wait, no, it's best seven. Oh, shit. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck. Three, three. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot-2. Wait, no, it's best of seven. Oh, shit.

3-3. Fuck! I just wanted to prove how crazy it was that Che lost. 4-0, and that was a long one. 4-0. You're up. No, I'll give it to Nick. Thank you.

Close your eyes. Okay. So actually, this gift is kind of for me. You said this was... Thank you, Big Cat. Yeah, you're welcome. You said this is your favorite antique store? He's excited. Is it big? Uh, kind of for me. Is this, you said this was, thank you, Big Cat. Yeah, you're welcome. You said this is your favorite antique store? He's excited.

Is it big? Where'd he go? He's back in the... Can somebody else talk? Oh, wow. I saw him scurrying in with all these items today. He's really animated.

And he's very excited about this. Oh, my God. He has to use. And he's very excited about this. He has to use his head to open the door. Don't cheat. I don't want to guess what it is by feeling. You're going to love it. It's a dynamic piece. Brandon, he wants to guess what it is by feeling it.

He might be able to do that. Let him feel it. Get a grip on that. I think you can guess this. Do you really think I can? I think you can guess this. Okay. Okay. You really think I can? I think I can. Really feel. Yeah.

Oh, is it going to be- Take your time. Is it your cock? He gives you that already. Oh. Oh, it's- Whoa! Look at that. It's huge.

Oh, wait a minute. Okay. So this- Oh my God, man. All right. Is this too big? You can't open Oh, wait a minute. Okay, so this... Oh my God, Brandon. All right. Is this too big? You can't open your eyes until you guess who it is.

Who it is? Yeah. You can't open your eyes until you guess who it is. This is a bust, isn't it? Yes. Okay, it's a bust. Start from the bottom.

Move out of the way. What are you feeling there? Oh, it's Elvis. Yeah! That's awesome. Look. Brandon, thank you. This is the best.

What's up with his eye? A pale yellow Elvis. You asked for a dummy to put your chain mail on. Yes, this is perfect. They didn't have a dummy, but they did have a large ceramic bust of Elvis. I'll send a picture of chain mail Elvis this evening. You can do the chain mail or your bonus gift can go on there. Oh, you got a bonus gift? Did I get a bonus gift? That's of Elvis. I'll send a picture of Chainmail Elvis this evening. You can do the Chainmail or your bonus gift can go on there. Oh, you got a bonus gift?

Did I get a bonus gift? That's Asian Elvis. Back up. Back up. Back up. This is lupus Elvis. You can also put your Madison Malibu on the Elvis. Oh, big bill.

Oh, hell yes. Oh, wow. Thank you, man. This is the best. I envision that in the studio with your Chainmail on it. You're a good ass friend. He's Asian as fuck. That's Asian Elvis, dude.

Was that $120? No. It was not. I said spend under $20 on me. This was probably about $19, right? That's a great gift, Brandon. I got it for $15. Elvis is going for $15.

Elvis is going for $15? This is Asian Elvis. Is it hollow? Elvis Lee. Wow, Brandon, you are a nice man. Yeah. You are a nice man. Are you ready?

Yeah, should I close my eyes? Why wouldn't you? Yeah, you're right. All right. Good point. Brandon, I love Asian Elvis. It would be funny if you got me a knuckle sandwich with my eyes. I would have clobbered you. Just say it right now. If you just clobbered me, I wouldn Asian Elvis. It would be funny if you got me a knuckle sandwich with my eyes. I would clobber you. Just say it right now if you just clobbered me.

I wouldn't be mad. That's funny. Elvis Presry. Oh, wow. All right, let's talk about Lucy. Lucy's the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great.

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go get you some Lucy today I'm trying to think of Asian Elvis songs blue wooden sandals whoa oh boy this is big too You have to guess too Onion volcano ring of fire That's Johnny Cash Oh fuck

You ain't nothing but a koi fish Pamela Anderson Yeah In what form? Naked You think I just handed you Pamela Anderson? I will tell you Yes

You're cool but not freezing cold Oh wait yeah Let's do the Let's do chaperty Okay You don't think he's freezing cold? Not You're freezing cold

Yeah Michael Jordan You're freezing cold. Michael Jordan. You're cold. Warmer than Pamela Anderson. Ron Dane. Warmest guest so far, certainly. Pretty much hot. Hot.

Scorching hot. Jim Sorge. Still scorching hot. Not scorching. Is it just Camp Randall? Same level of heat. Fuck. What are the years?

I don't really know the year. 94. It says 94, but... That's... I know. Is this the 94 Rose Bowl team? Yeah. Perry Alvarez?

It's close. I think you can open your eyes. Can I open my eyes? Yeah. It Alvarez? It's close. I think you're going to open your eyes. Can I open my eyes? Yeah. It's Bucky Badger. Oh! Oh, this is sick! It's a road sign from the 94 Rose Bowl team. It's Bucky Badger holding a rose. This is awesome! This might have been the coolest antique store ever.

That's some wall art for your office. This is sick, Brandon. That's really cool. Thank you. It's a good gift. Wow. That thing's got some tread on it, too. Look sick, Brandon. That's really cool. Thank you. Yeah. It's a good gift. Wow. That thing's got some tread on it, too. Look at the back. It was close to Pamela Anderson. Not in any way.

Bucky's got some bosoms. Yeah. Look at his chest. Now, you will put it up in your office, right? Probably not. Me, personally, will put it up? No, it will be put up in your office. Yes.

It will 100% be put up. All right. Someone will be putting this up. All right, so there you go. Asian Elvis and Bucky Batson. Good haul. This is a great, I want to go to this. All right, now, now, who wants a gift for next?

I can take one gift for next man taking. You want it? Yeah. Wait, next time you go. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I would love one. All right.

Thank you. Something for Mook and something for Kate's youngest. Yeah something for the baby got it you got it got it a lot of stuff in antique stores for that did you get anything for yourself i did what'd you get i got a i got a framed uh newspaper from when the brewers won the world from the milwaukee braves won the World Series in 1957. You've been Milwaukee Braves crazy. I'm a big 1957 Braves guy, yeah. The logos they had back then were so super racist that I just can't get enough of it. As racist as Asian Elvis? More. Way more.

We don't know if Asian Elvis is. I mean, he's just Asian. That's not racist. That's true. Yeah. The jokes we're going to make are racist. Right. Yeah.

Did anyone say? mind what through christmas we really need chay here yeah just send him everything let him asian that's going in the man cave. Yes. With chain mail on his head. Has to. What else does he sing? Elvis?

I don't know any of his songs. Many. Good hits. A lot of hits. Suspicious Minds. Crime Dog. Huh? Ain't nothing but a crime dog.

Ain't nothing but a. Fred McGriff. What is that? Hound Dog. Hound Dog. A grilled dog. Ain't nothing but a crime dog. Ain't nothing but Hound dog. Hound dog. A grilled dog. He doesn't put a crime on it. He doesn't put a grilled dog.

He doesn't put a grilled dog. Oh, man. But you said we have two special guests. He said that. Oh, you said that? Yeah, we have two special guests. We have two special guests. I don't know any of them.

Well, you know one of them. You do know one of them, don't you? I don't think he does. I think I want to do my special guest before because I don't know how much time. I don't know. I only know one of the special guests. Oh, I know. Yeah, I know the one.

Okay. He's coming. He's here already. Oh, okay. Yeah. I throw him in the building. Oh, him. So who's yours? I don't want to ruin it, do I? Does anybody know? He's coming. He's here already. Oh, okay. Yeah. Throw him in the building. Oh, him.

So who's yours? I don't want to ruin it, do I? Does anybody know who it is? If we bring him home, that's kind of ruining it, right? Well, yeah, but do we want a surprise? I like a surprise, yeah. Everyone knows. Is he here now? He's on his way.

Oh, okay. Then I guess I thought he was here. Physically on his way? Or on his way professionally, like climbing the corporate ladder? Next up. I'd say both. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I'd say both. Wow. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, both. All right. Well, whoever it is. I'm not running the show. I've already done the gifts. My time here is done. Brandon, this is the best gift I've ever gotten.

Yeah. Yeah. Besides Big Cat's verbal gift. You should put that on your front porch. It'll get stolen in a heartbeat. Yeah, you're right. I would steal this if I saw it This is going downstairs For sure

That's a sick ass ceramic bust That's really cool He died on the toilet choking on tempura I don't know if it was tempura But he definitely died on the toilet People always talk about that But what was the actual cause of death He died on the toilet.

He died. He was addicted to opioids. He got filled up. He had a cocktail of drugs. And that's how Judy Garland passed. What a sad life she lived. Mama Cass. That was a ham sandwich.

Okay. Did Judy Garland die on the toilet? Maybe not the toilet. I think Elvis was just so insanely constipated he had a heart attack because he was pushing so hard. I thought he was eating a peanut butter. Yeah, I think a fluffer. He was a southern man from Mississippi who treated his body like trash. And he got to 43 and just simple tasks like going to the bathroom just made him have a heart attack.

There was a sandwich he loved. It was like peanut butter and banana and bacon. I don't know what bacon a heart attack. There was a sandwich he loved. It was like peanut butter and banana. Peanut butter and banana and bacon, right? I don't know what bacon was in it. There was something crazy. I think bacon was. It was probably the abundance of drugs that didn't work. It was the constant opioids in his blood.

Yeah. I think Ravel bought a bottle, a prescription bottle that Elvis had. Of course he would. Of course. Yeah. Wasn't he a strange? Yeah. Oh, very strange. That's a weird thing to do. He's a strange would. Of course. Yeah. Isn't that strange? Yeah. Oh, very strange.

That's a weird thing to do. He's a strange guy. So weird. Yeah. The PSA 10 OD bottle. Yeah, pretty much. Wasn't he like considered offensive for like shaking his hips?

Yes. He was like the first guy to like. Yeah, it's in Forrest Gump. Yeah. Forrest Gump taught him how to dance. Yeah. I guess he would be fascinated by like Cardi B today.

Forrest Gump found up, wound up in like some weird situation he taught all of us how to dance yeah he held up defensive sign for old miss he ran across the country he did all these he always wound up in these precarious situations yeah have you have y'all seen it what i haven't i know what it is you know what he's talking about no you need to see it let me see it uh tj mince mince did that today he held up a defensive sign for old miss okay now holding up a sign is easy you say wait hold on hold on hold on even a metal rod could do it you say it's easy yeah yeah that's right all you gotta do is hold that up trying to think what he could have done uh it's up yeah that's perfect and a plus yeah i did it you did it all right you did it nice yeah kyle i'm like trying what could he possibly have fucked it up did it flop over did he hold it in reverse

listen I didn't watch the video you didn't watch it no how'd you know he held up a sign it took half a side scroll

okay alright yeah let's just yeah we gotta watch the video together oh my god yeah he just also why was he he's looking for am i doing it right yeah and that was straight make a wish too uh yeah practice yeah practice they let him hold up a

sign of practice and he held even if he was holding it up the right way, the whatever was. I don't have words right now. Vertical and horizontal. Hamburger hot dog stuff. It was weird how he held it up vertical where he basically. Falling forward. Yeah, he was climbing a ladder of a sign. I'm not going to lie.

I was expecting worse. But how could it be worse, right? Facing himself? Yeah. Yeah. True. He just holds it up and looks at it. There's only so Facing himself? Yeah. Yeah. True. He just holds it up and looks at it? There's only so many ways you can fuck up holding a sign.

There's only so many ways you can hold a sign. Yeah. Also true. And then there's Mincy. Yeah. That would be funny if he had to do that during a game and they just lost. All the guys ran to the other side. We were running the sideways defense.

My guess is five minutes out. Let me do game time real quick. We love getting out to live events, whether it's a concert, a football game, or a comedy show. And we always use game time. The official ticketing partner, Barstool Sports. You know how much we love game time. Now with their brand new game time picks feature,

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Football's about to be back, Brandon. Yep. So exciting. So back. Did you see the video Malasek did? No. He had me narrate it, but you wrote it, right? Yeah.

It was incredible you crushed it that's a great one you really crushed it yeah it was it got me it gave me chills i don't think we could play it on here so how if malicek did it but it sounds like you guys did everything no he wrote it malicek um edited it together yeah it's a it takes a village oh here's up here's my word all right so this is him? How'd you snag him? Cliff, get over here. Cliff, get over here. I've invited Cliff on the show for one specific reason.

That was a nice pop. I don't know if you guys know the reason, but I'm going to say it to his face when he sits down. He's a legend of the Yak. Legendary stoolie. Cliff, how fucking dare you dude Oh boy Do you know what happened yesterday

No Cliff DeMartino the one and only Oh man Won the 50-50 raffle You son of a bitch He won $40,000 Holy shit $40,000 no he won $40,000 He won $40,000. Holy shit. $40,000.

No, he won $40,000. He won $40,000? He won $40,000. He's already loaded. Literally still shaking. He won $40,000. Holy fuck, Cliff. Fucking guy.

I've been trying my whole life, and he just tweeted out. He's like, I think I just won all my people. I just won the Cubs 50-50. And you didn't need the um, and I think you did. I said I was shaking. It was just like50. And you didn't need the um and I think. You did. I said I was shaking. It was just like, uh. I can't believe you.

Cliff, do you just win everything? He drove to my house one time. I said, where'd you get this car? You won that car one time, right? You win everything you get? I won the Chicago Duck Race 12 years ago. Now you want to. And now I can replace that car. Oh, my God.

I'm happy for you. It's insane. I know. Were you at the game? No. Oh, you motherfucker. Were you at the game the day before? Yeah, of course.

Oh, okay. So you bought it in person. Three day, three day. Yeah, the three day rollover, which I hate. I was thinking maybe 5K, 5 to 10K. I almost shit when I saw that. And then when I saw that the series before was 200k. Yeah, it was a weekend series.

I was only pissed for a minute. Yeah. You can't really. And then Cindy found out. Yeah, 40k. What did it feel? I mean, you literally lived my dream. I didn't know what to do. Because that's not a troll tag

on there trying to look like a big cat tag. That's Chicago River Barge. And earlier in the day, about nine o'clock, he's like, Cubs, your ticket site's not working. I said, I got you. I'll refresh that site every four minutes until it's up. And then I bought my ticket, went back on his post and said, you know, if we win, we'll buy each other beers. And about six o'clock, said check that fucking ticket oh my god unbelievable how many tickets did you buy 2,500 chances so what was that 2,500 200 bucks 200 bucks i would have been really upset if you were like yeah i bought five bucks yeah no that's what i did in the with the car i bought a five dollar duck and then got a bill for 13 grand in taxes oh no what are you gonna do

have you guys ever won anything no i know i like that no sweepstakes or lotteries or raffles i won the barstool olympics in camp barstool game oh my god you did back to back i won a camera at the central high school um spring raffle in 1991 that's not bad yeah graham and m i want a turkey I won a camera at the Central High School Spring Raffle in 1991 I won a turkey platter Really? Yeah Just the platter?

Yeah, just like the serving dish Now is that a platter with a full cooked turkey on it or just the cold cuts of turkey? No, no, no, it's like a plate Just the serving dish Yeah, I won it at St. Vincent's Festival They had some good prizes Like that no no no it's like a plate just just a serving dish yeah i wanted uh saint vincent's uh festival they had some good prizes like that like that cliff i just i mean i'm i'm sure i understand yeah student becomes a teacher yeah and i wanted you to come on to congratulate you in person

because i feel like not only is it good karma but i am actually happy for you i i appreciate it i'm terrified to come too close to the sun that That's why I never even try to hang out over here. But for this one, I had to explain When you win the 50-50 raffle, you have to come on and get your congratulations. I even told Cindy to leave her keys so I could move her car. I knew it was coming this morning. Did you enjoy

dinner at my house? That was special. Thank you very much. I'm not even going to joke or make fun of that. That was awesome. One of the most delightful families in the world. Yeah, it healed your soul. There must be three feet of blue DMs to Brandon. Anytime he brings something up, he needs help. I'm like, I got you, dude.

I got you. And this time he hit me up and it worked. I'll do it again. This is a good also like lesson that, you know, being a good person, you end up winning stuff. Would you both like a smack in the face? Good question. Is there a prize? You'll find a way to win it.

I think TV's still in the box. I think Brandon's TV is still in the box. Oh no. Why would you do that? I got you Asian Elvis. I got you Asian Elvis. You can't take Asian Elvis back. And this is worse. You've been busy. You've been busy.

I've been busy. I've been at Camp Barstool. I've got the TaskRabbit ready for Sunday. Or you're mounting it. I can't do it myself. Are you mounting it? Yeah, I'm mounting it. Oh, okay.

That's way more acceptable. Why don't you have Cliff mount it? I'm sorry. I have nothing to do this week. Cliff, let's see. It's 1230. You think we can have that thing mounted by 4 or 5 o'clock? Easy. I'm sorry to air you out like that, Brandon. Put. It's 1230. You think we can have that thing mounted by 4 or 5 o'clock? Easy.

I'm sorry to air you out like that, Brandon. Put the pot roast on it. Yeah, that's because I just haven't had somebody come mount it yet. When did you start helping and giving to Barstool employees? Like 15 years ago. Oh, my God. Wow. Cindy and I decided, no kids.

We couldn't do it the real way. we couldn't do it the real way we couldn't do it the science way yeah and at that point it's like into the bloodline i don't have to follow the rules anymore yeah where are your kids no kids holy shit that was badass what you just said yeah there's no rules i'm the only one that could carry on my name and I've been carrying this great weight and you've helped me out. It's it'll hit me one day and it'll suck, but I'm not going to let that happen for a while. I'll enjoy it while I can. So it can't be that easy. Just being good will reward you.

But maybe it fucking is. I don't know. Yeah. Damn. I mean, you're you're you're one of my favorite uh stoolies in the world and uh i'm so happy that you won that and what i wanted to say was um now that you have money we have a couple items that i don't know if you'd like to purchase i have this beautiful bucky the badger oh no sir and uh we have not for sale elvis both of them going for five thousand dollars each for sale yes i don't know if you have the cash well i won i won a thousand on the

mets game last night and we still have some cash left over for the 10 team parlay that hit on the way to rough and rowdy so i'm interested you got the 40 000 you just won i don't have the check yet when i have the check are. When I have the check. Are they going to give you a big check? No, they're going to mail it to me. At least make me look like a fool at the stadium with the stuff there. Yeah, we got to get you the big check. I'll get the big check.

I'll get you a big check. I need to see you. You know what? That's what we'll do. Next time you're back, we're going to buy a big check, and we got to deliver it to you. Yeah, yeah. All right. Just let me know.

Yeah, I mean, you need the big check moment. I'll hang it on you yeah yeah all right just let me know yeah i mean you need the big check moment i'll hang it on the fucking wall with all the other stuff yeah i'm gonna have to one-up you by the way with what a better gift for you no you're not yeah it's a gift oh yeah it's a gift it's a gift off yeah well i'm i'm i've already got two in mind what yeah i'm two gifts ahead of you right now. I'm going to get you something. Damn. Cliff, do you want to do the gauntlet? I mean, I think I have to, but we're talking a really bad time. But I'll do it. I'm not afraid to humiliate myself.

I think you got to. Our other guest is going to do it as well, so we might as well set it up. Is this our first gauntlet with the body armor? No, we had someone. Cam Patterson. Oh, I wasn't here. Okay. How'd you like wheeling cliff i liked i loved wheeling you're a liar cliff actually that is a lie yeah because we weren't in wheeling we were in tridelphia oh that counts as wheeling tridelphia uh by the highlands yeah by all the name brand

shops we have to offer yeah no i love the tunnel I love that you go through a tunnel and then it's wheeling. Yeah, we never appreciated that. We didn't appreciate the tunnel. Now, Cliff, I love you. What's good with the leggings? It's a swag. You do pull it off. There is a real story to these, but the reason is no longer.

About a week before Portnoy was taking on Koepka in the lefty match, the sign flag nonsense, I DM'd Dave and said, I want to surprise my dad and bring him to this. Will you let us walk in the ropes with you? He said, yes, absolutely. I set the whole thing up. About a week before we were supposed to leave,

I lost all the feeling below my knees. Oh, Jesus. Fuck. So I'm just walking down the street, and I can't feel it. I'm lifting my foot, and I'll catch my toe and just go down. But it was COVID,

so I had the whole city to myself. So they said, wear the leggings for blood circulation. I bought 20 pairs of them. My legs are back, but I now have 20 pairs of these. Not as well. Yeah.

Sorry for being an asshole. No, it's great. It's great only owning one pair of underwear. Yeah. I have the one pair I got to wear three times a year when I got to wear pants. Otherwise. Leggings. It's a cool look.

You don't see guys with leggings. No, you don't. Yeah. You don't see adults with leggings. Yeah, right. Those would fit me like JNCOs. Baggy as hell. Dude, I'm so happy for you.

I mean, listen, at least someone i like won the 50 it stayed in the family yeah right right that's what i like it my initial reaction was this motherfucker and then i can't calm down i was like you know what if someone's gonna win it at least it's someone i like and you've already mocked up a 40 000 one of one pmt t-shirt haven't you yes exactly we should sell cliff a fuck coin oh my god the ass fuck coin the size of a manhole oh no he's he has a kiss of course he does of course unfortunately it's a we're this is our our show oh yeah that's the ass fuck spinner yeah there was a guy at the live show in indy that had every single coin so i I had to do boom, boom, boom. Oh, no.

You had to run the gauntlet on him? Run the gauntlet on his face. The coin gauntlet? That would have cost like a G on the street. This might be a dumb question. What's the ring? This is the gambling charm that's won all this. This is a Chicago Bliss Championship LFL ring.

For their second championship, they got me one. I'm a scout, it says on the side, and I put it on on the trip to Wheeling, and that's when the winning streak started. It's obnoxious. I've never won a real sports thing. It's a lingerie, right? It's a lingerie. Wait, what?

The quarterback. Heather Furr. Shout out Heather Furr. Was she a bartender at Murphy's? Yeah, because I remember I was at Murphy's for a Cubs game once, and it was before maybe the playoffs, and I was trying to convince her to throw the game so I could bet on it, but we realized you can't bet on it, and she has integrity. She's a true rock star.

She lived right on Sheffield, always let us park at her house. Our bar tab was never more than $20. Yeah. This is how I operate. She's a champion. Not than 20 bucks. Yeah. This is how I operate. She's a champion. Not on my own. Yeah. Big team.

That's incredible. Hell yeah. And that's where the winning started. Yeah. I break it out maybe once a year when I'm in a, in a rut. That's because that's even great. That even says even more about you as your character.

If I had a winning ring, I would never take it off. You don't abuse it. You're just like, oh, I need it right now. All right, fine. I'll just win the $40,000. When I need it. We had to get Frankie to that R&R fight.

Yeah. He had to be there. So the ring came out, the bet went in, and I didn't even know I won until like midnight. I'm kicking the hotel wall thinking it's been next to me, it was not oh my god everyone was happy all right cliff let's let's do uh let's do the gauntlet this is fucking terrifying oh you got it you got it wow i can't believe that 50 50 raffle so what's on is you were seething that when you first saw it for when i first thought i was seething yeah yeah i was seething when you first saw it When I first saw it I was seething I was seething Because I got tagged in a bunch

But again I calmed down And I was like at least it's It would be worse if it was like an enemy Right right it's an ally Yeah it's an ally it's a friend And he deserves it If you went with Che and he won That would happen

I'd kill him I'd happen. I'd kill him. I'd murder him. I'd murder him on the spot. I'd murder him on the spot. Oh, yeah, the 200K. Yeah, he's got a way about him. Cliff is just kind of... Yeah, Cliff rules.

He's like a good luck charm. He's got like a I spy swag. What a cool way to just Describe not having kids End of my bloodline He accessorizes in places I've never thought to accessorize I'm a neck, head and Wrist man

He's got a keychain or something He is a lanyard guy What a legend Is that a lanyard? I think What's Brandon do? It's a g-string Brandon looks like dealing with some business What a legend. Is that a lanyard? I think. What's Brandon do? It's a G-string. Brandon's looks like dealing with some business.

Brandon's been fighting SafeLight on the phone all day. Oh, yeah. They're trying to get. I think they've been blocked on Twitter. Brandon blocked SafeLight? No, they blocked him. SafeLight blocked Brandon. Getting blocked by a business. He's at them and it's not coming up blue.

That's really funny. Wait, what's this update from Will? Oh my God, he's got a scooter. For his toe? Oh no. He's got a scooter for his toe? Oh no, Will. Oh no.

Oh no, Will. Oh, no. Oh, no. Will. For his toe, he's got to... Oh, one of those. Oh. That's so down bad. I mean, he competed. Heart of a warrior.

If I had just covered first base, none of this would have happened. Probably would have won. Who's to say? Yeah. All right, what are they waiting on? Brandon disappeared. Brandon, yeah, safe light. That takes precedent over his job.

All right, Cliff, you ready? Are you ready? Yeah, I'll say 3, two, one, go. I'm going to go out and... Yeah, yeah, help him. You certainly know the order, right? Black one, I think. No, it's...

I think it's the little green one. It's the green one. See that little green line, Cliff? That's the one. He's going to rock this. You know he will. All right, Cliff. You ready, TJ? Yes. All right, Cliff. You ready, TJ?

Yes. All right, here we go. Ready? Three, two, one, go. Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Cliff. Cliff, buddy. Cliff. Oh, boy. Come on, Cliff. A little pace here. He did take the ring off. There it is.

Oh, he's smooth. Not a bad shot. Strategy keeping it on the ground is good. There it is. Wow. Laser. Effortless. Nice toss, Brandon. How did Cam do? Good. He was awesome. effortless nice toss Brandon how did Cam do

good he was awesome he was an awesome guest he did well and I think the body armor the new ones are not that bad of a detriment I think it might actually be even easier he got it pretty quick easier to get a rebound yeah easier to get a rebound

and just easier to get come on Cliff very relaxed doing He got it pretty quick. Easier to get a rebound? Yeah, easier to get a rebound and just easier to get. Come on, Cliff. Very relaxed doing this. Yeah. He's very chill. It's like your baseball coach hit you. Right at me. There it is.

Football. There you go, Brandon. Maybe not. He's dressed like a flag football quarterback. He does look like a flag football player. Do the Blitz still play? I think the Lingerie Football League is no longer a thing. Oh, that was good.

That was from a place of anger and hate. Oh my. This might be tough. Help him out, Brandon. Okay. This might be tougher. We might have a new era. Come on. It's Come on It's hard

It's hard It's hard to watch Maybe that's the Maybe that's the deciding Maybe you get Maybe Brandon helps with rebounds Yeah

To even it out Come on So we got a while here It's alright we're not making fun of you That should have been good You guys care if I doze? What an insult if we were all fucking asleep Oh no Brandon

Oh dude Maybe the bottles are tougher. Maybe we need multiple footballs. Yeah. Brandon's trying to widen the bottle for him. We're stuck here. He might be the Jeff. Oh, that one should have been in.

That one should have been in. This is not fair. He's going to hit Brandon. He's going to get this one. Oh, man. Huh. Okay. Oh, he's trying something different.

Just step up a little. Yeah, different Just step up a little Yeah yeah Step up a little There we go Kate how was the How was the beef handling your absence He did good He did good The boys are both still alive

So that was a pleasant surprise to come home to Any like Permanent injuries They both have tattoos now, which was unexpected. Alright, what is going on? I don't think it's this hard. It looks like the accuracy is there.

I think I'm starting to resent Cliff. Yeah, it's really... Oh my god. It's repulsive almost. Brought him right back down to earth. Come on, D. Repulsive almost. Brought him right back down to earth. Oh, that was close. Come on, D. Get him a couple balls.

Get him a couple other balls. Get him some more balls. I know the Breakdown Boys are going to clown me. Yeah. Oh, but he's not even going to hit this. Oh, he's doing the old school. No, see? Goes Paige.

Yeah! We'll have to test it. We'll have to stress test it. Uh-oh. He's gassed. It's always short first. Come on, Cliff. Just mint.

Come on, Cliff. Yeah, Cam Patterson actually had a pretty good time. I would die if Cliff tripped over the corner. All right. Yep. Oh. Oh. Oh, no.

Oh, no. We just need to get this man to sporkle. Nick is dozed. Oh, no. TJ, can I do an ad read while we do this? Pardon My Cheesesteak. Football is finally back. And ordering Pardon My Cheesesteak for your game day meal or late night eats is the best play you call you can make pardon my cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks and loaded fries delivered

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Use code Yak10 for $10 off. Yes, all right. Get in here. Let's go. Take Brandon's seat. Holy shit. Brandon's seat. You're all right, Cliff.

Call out, call out. Eight MLB players with over 400 saves. The bloodline might end today. Yeah. Three components of a triathlon race. That's easy. Swim, run, bike. Swim, run, bike, he said.

Swim, run, bike. Taste that mic. I can't read them. All right. 12 founding members of NATO. Okay. We'll go Burger King for you. Burger King.

Third one. Three first names of Bob's kids and Bob's burgers. Next. Seven states to produce the best NBA talent. Ohio, Florida. Ohio, Florida. I think big states. Massachusetts, California, Texas.

California. Yep, Texas. New York, he said. Next one. Eight MLB players with over 400 saves. There's a couple you can pick off. Eight top dream jobs for kids. Oh, there we go.

Influencer. Influencer. Fireman. Fireman? No, Fireman's good. Yeah. Fireman's great. Big Cat.

Yeah. Oh, shit. I can't believe Fireman wasn't one. Yeah. Firefighter. All right, Cliff. Oh, Alright Cliff let's buckle down here Six categories of awards for Nobel Prize That one's easy at least one of them

Science, math Wow Maybe it's not easy What about Yeah Dude this is Two more 400 saves What about, yeah. There we go. Dude, this is fucking. Just two more. You got to close.

400 saves. Nolan Ryan. No, not Nolan. No, saves. Think about the best. Cliff. Hoffman was the best in my time. Okay, throw him out there.

Eric Gagne. Yeah, Trevor Hoffman. There you go. Eric Gagne. Yeah, not there. Think of that guy. Think about a Yankee. A Yankee Yankee yeah

fucking I picture him Rivera there it is there you go bang 7 58

62 hell yes I'm fucking proud of that that was tough 140k yesterday Cubs 50-50 you took the ring off for that didn't you

yeah that's oh you did oh you didn't oh no you got it uh oh does not work does not play in physical activity yesterday. Cubs 50-50. You took the ring off for that, didn't you? Yeah, I didn't. Oh, you didn't? Oh, no. It does not work and does not play in physical activity. Yeah. Where's he at? I know he's real as fuck.

Yeah, he's so real. I'll get a sequel to this. Yeah, you will. You'll probably win another. You'll probably win the fucking list at the bottom. I love it. You'll probably win the Megabucks or something. You almost beat me blindfolded I did

it was all football yeah the football's tough yeah there was a couple that like yeah we hit the wall and come back through basketball was tough yeah

baseball my best sport that was the worst hey Paul Rabel pro lacrosse player you're right there with him yeah I'm not even a fucking pro

yeah let's do finer man i gotta work on that um all right well cliff cliff thank you thank you for coming by thank you cliff congratulations again thank you you deserve it and then yeah you'll have a redemption on the uh knowing you you'll probably train and get the best time ever i will be back i have to get back to work i'm'm sure there are scream emails from Pete in my inbox. I'm out of here. Thank you guys. You deal with Pete.

Wait, what? You deal with Pete. I know you dealt with our telecommunications. I didn't know you dealt directly with Pete. Yeah, I get the tweet once a day. The dude thinks he works at Barstool. Honestly, I might as well have. I've been working with Pete for like five years

i did this office shout out chris b he actually did this office i just made sure everything was in place so yeah but but what you just said now i don't envy you because you deal with pete and you only got forty thousand dollars from. Yeah. I did better than that. I let Pete hire my tech that did this job. So your guy, Chris, here is my old guy. I work through Ballot. Okay. Unless the glass breaks.

Okay. So I'm sorry you have to deal with Pete. Tell him to fuck off. Pete's the fucking man. Okay. All right. That's enough. All right.

Cliff T. Martino, everyone. Thank you. Thank you, Cliff. All right, Cliff. Just stayedino, everyone. Thank you. Thank you, Cliff. All right, Cliff. Just stayed two seconds too long. Yeah, yeah. It's only a matter of time. You knew there was something about him. We would have figured it out.

It took exactly this long to find his dark secret. It turns out he likes all business Pete. Called him the man. The man. Now this whole thing isn't funny anymore he could have walked off after that bloodline comment he's the best oh man mook you want to bring down your boy yeah yeah yeah should i go grab him yeah grab him another special guest cliff said he likes likes, he said All Business Pete is the man. I know.

I bet it ended that. I wouldn't have fed him pot roast. Yeah, right, exactly. Everything kind of changed. High Noon? Yeah. The moment everyone's been waiting for is finally here. The High Noon pool pack is back, so grab a case, text the group,

get your friends to the nearest pool. It's only here for the summer, so now's the time to enjoy lime peach and two limited edition flavors guava and kiwi as always the high noon pool pack is made with real vodka and real juice has 100 calories is gluten-free and has no added sugar visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you high noon high noon high noon high noon brayden what's up with that hair? Oh, God. What happened? I think the headphones grabbed it. Might have.

It's kind of cool, though. What's going on with Safe Flight? We need to just get to the bottom of this. Did Safe Flight block you? Can we call them? I think they blocked me for a second, then unblocked me for a second. Something made it untag. Something happened.

But I don't know. I got an appointment for this morning uh to replace my windshield because when we were on the way up to wisconsin i think i took another rock and it just it went all the way across i can no longer ignore it it was a six inch problem now it's a full windshield problem so i gotta get it replaced and i had it for when we get back from camp i had an appointment for this morning they called me this steven they called me this morning and they said uh yeah our our guy got out to you and turns out there's a scratch on the new windshield that we got for you.

So here's this. Oh, my goodness. Tony P in DC as he lives. Yeah, go for it. Live in flesh. Finally. Tony P in DC. Pull the mic up.

Put your headphones on. I'm in TV. How can I do this? You're in TV? Yeah, see me? I'm on Fox in D.C. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I'm on once a week for a show.

It's called Like It or Not. It's like a pop culture show. We debate stuff all day. And it's right before TMZ. So I do that. And I also sometimes Thursdays or Fridays, too. So I'm working on doing more kind of mainstream TV. We'll see how that goes.

Getting the chops up. I do watch myself every week, though, on camera. And I'll come on like Tom Brady taught me and do the whole video editing and film watching stuff to make sure I get better at stuff. You take notes on your performance? I do. And people hate it when I post a video

that people are like, that's narcissistic and sociopathic, like Patrick Bateman level stuff. And I'm just trying to learn my craft craft, how to get better at this stuff. And you preach positivity, right? I do. So positivity, vibrant masculinity, and I use vibrant masculinity. I don't like the whole positive, negative, you know,

masculine, like kind of the whole debate. I like vibrance. I think about personality. I like warm, you know, positivity, really just being kind of having fun and being just, you know, all parts of your personality. You know, a guy can be anything he wants to be. What gets you mad? What gets me mad? Do you know what show you're on right now? I know.

I know. I know. Positivity? I hate myself. We're the least positive show in the world. But you know what? It's fun, though. This is fun. This is raw and it's real. And that's what people like about it. That's why a lot of the kind of traditional talk shows are going downhill.

True. Because it's all like this packaged, canned stuff. This is real stuff. Yeah. And it's daytime TV. Yeah. I love it. No, but negative, what gets me angry?

Oh, good. Let me ask you, does the hog reveal get you angry? Oh, yeah. Well, how are we dealing with that? So your comment section has turned on you. They want to see your penis. Yes. Will you show us your penis?

Oh, no. Maybe off camera. Okay, all right, all right. In the wheel. It's like a Wheel of Fortune thing. No, but I'll say this. You know what? I'm all about it.

A friend of mine, Nicky Cass, who's a great creator on Instagram. He's very funny. Right. Like he entertains people, right? If people get a laugh out of that and it makes their day better, I'm doing my job. Whether it's a hog reveal or they like the content. Seriously, like I'm all about making people happy because, you know what? The world's tough.

Like the world's miserable right now in a lot of ways, right? So anywhere you can get positivity is a good thing. And what gets me angry, D tourists yeah come to dc and block me while i'm trying to walk into my office because i have a little office now at my business and it's like get out of the way stop looking around with your cameras go off to the side like normal people please and get being from boston i'm all about speed let me get to my place i'm always late yeah so I can't stand DC tours I'm sorry but I just can't stand okay so and this is this has been a crazy show basically a year ago right now was when you started to blow up right so I started going yeah so I was three months in I just started posting

fit videos and things that I wear to work my suit and tie did like these recaps of my week and this very innocuous stuff like nothing really I say, that impressive or that editorially impressive. But then one day I did a week in my life. I had business meetings and I really talked about it and it went to 50,000 views. Yeah. And it went to 100,000, 150. And then we just took off.

And then I heard my cousin who loves the show, my cousin Ryan loves the whole Barstool thing, loves the whole show here. And he's like, dude, like, Big Cat's talking about you. I'm like, oh, my God. Looked it up. And then falling went up. And then, like, then we had the thing with you and me, Connor.

We came to D.C. That also shot me up again. So that got me to, like, 70,000 in, like, basically a couple of weeks. So you guys are the best. But I'll say then the Washington Post came. They did a whole page on me the style section and that made me go to like a hundred thousand yeah that was before the holidays and then we just took off again to 150 and then now we've got about 60,000 the last six months so and then you decided like

hey I've got a following now I can do this on my own yeah actually only two months ago so I was doing full-time for like a year and change this thing was going on the problem was that I just didn't want to leave because I liked going to the office. I liked the people that I worked with. Right. And I'm a creature of habit. I hate being in my house, like just not having a place to go. So I really held back until I started doing brand deals. So I started doing, you know, appearances on TV, doing my media stuff with Fox.

I'm really going after a podcast TV career now because I've been, I was a broadcaster in high school and college and I gave up on it because I just was kind of a wuss. Hate to say it. I mean, I did not believe in myself at all. Like that was, no, I was like, I was, I was totally afraid. I didn't have the stones to do it. I just didn't. And so I had a lot of regret and I had this opportunity to come along with this account. I'm like, oh my God, I want to get back into this. And I said, I have to pursue this. And I'd rather fail than fail to try. That's awesome.

I said, you know what? And I said, screw it. People are going to hate on me. They're going to go, oh, you know, you're doing nothing for a living, whatever. You know what? If I fail, I'm going to fall on my damn face. Yeah. Because you know what?

You're not going to fail, by the way. Thank you. You have the work ethic. It's clear. Thank you. You were doing all those things while working a full-time job. Thank you. So I'm very confident you will not fail.

It's an awesome story, though. Thank you. And the thing is, I want to bring joy to people, right? Well, there's a way you could bring a lot of joy. Right. And you refuse to do it. Well, I'll say this. I'll make a pledge.

Okay. If we get to half a million followers. Okay. Okay. And I want to pick a charity that we'll donate this. I'll make a pledge. Okay. If we get to half a million followers, okay, and I want to pick a charity that we'll donate to, I may honor the request. Oh, wow! But, but, but... I don't want you to be crass. Maybe you just

plop it down on construction and cut it out like a Thanksgiving hand turkey. Yeah, or maybe like... Or maybe even like you don't even tell us you're gonna do it you're cooking your salmon right it's like whoop there's a liminal yeah well though again like you know again again if you do if you get to half a million falls if we do some charity stuff again i want to get more into charity stuff and more like because i do stuff i just i do stuff on the side but i kind of want

to you know maybe use my platform to raise some money for something so if we can again I'm trying to work on what it might be but like it could be some things we could that could be interesting no a telethon and right and I just love it for the commenters that we're actually having this discussion power yeah and again like it's look it's crass I get it it's not really my brand is not exactly that but you know it isn't but the truth is you know what if people are having a good time it's all i care about yeah that's the worst thing people are doing then you know what we're in a what what are they talking about like what when it comes to the reveal yeah what reveal is it they want to see the now the fact they want to say what they want they want to see the chicago hot dog. Now, are they referring to it as a hog?

Yes. That implies it's a good thing. Go to his comments. Okay, you know what it is? It reminds me of the Nick Foles craze way back when. That's what it kind of reminds me of. But that was proven to be true. It was.

You know what? Hey, I'd rather kind of keep people in suspense. Yeah. But Kyle, like maybe a month ago. When was it? A month ago that his whole comment section. He gave Matt. It's not like the top comment.

Oh, yeah. A lot of times it is. Yes. On certain content, yes. It is. Or it's like they're creative too. They're very creative where they're like, okay. They weave it into like, you know, welcome to Chicago.

By the way, do this. It's like. Show Big Cat your hog. Come on. Oh, God. Yeah. weave it into like, you know, welcome to Chicago. By the way, do this. It's like show big cat your hog. Come on. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. I'm going to throw the yak all over the place if we don't have a detailed description of

infant hog on radio. I need no girth, length, the whole nine yards. This, look at this grandma 20 piece. So I did an ad for Dunkin' Donuts and I did an ad and I, you know, my grandmother and I used to get Dunkin' a lot. I'm from Boston. Of course I got Dunkinin Donuts and I did an ad and I, you know, my grandmother, I used to get Dunkin a lot from Boston. Of course I got Dunkin Donuts. Right. And I did a little ad about it.

It was like a personal kind of anecdote for like one of the ads I did is I, I do my ads. Like I do my content very out front and normal. Right. And I got a lot of heat for it because I gave a lot. I was like exploiting my dead grandmother to make money, which is not true. Was she dead when you did the ad?

Yes, she was. Wait, she was. How was she in the ad? No, no, sorry. I was, I just talked about it it like oh okay people were thought you i thought you were using her yeah and i'm like i thought it was like a casket situation no you kidding me okay all right all right no like you pour out your lies my grandmother tony i kind of agree with the comments

no no no no i know there was no i i didn't open the casket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You talked about it. Right. We used to dress up to get Duncan together. Why is that exploiting? That's not exploiting.

I know. People are nuts. But again, I had a lot of people in the ad space because this all fails, by the way. I want to go into

advertising and marketing. Okay. So this all fails. But I had an ad guy who works at a pretty, I think it's one of the big firms. He's like, that's actually a pretty decent ad.

Yeah. It's a pretty good idea. Screw the haters. That's a decent ad technically. It's like, okay, great to know. At least I'm a decent business guy. Wait, Tony, do not apologize for that whatsoever. Remember Apple, the Super Bowl commercial where it was just 911 calls?

Yeah. Yes. Because I watched. Well, it's about – again, I like to make content that really compels people emotionally whether you laugh or you go I talk about masculinity a lot I talk about being warm and embracing all sides of yourself right I do a lot of different content

I'm kind of to have a range I give you credit because you're the first guy that did like a week in my life and it was like a normal like 9 to 5 week now there's a lot of people doing that I'll admit there were a couple a lot of female creators did it before i did but again the first male yes i would say definitely the first male creator you you bred uh davis clark oh no he's he was doing stuff a lot before i was actually and then he grew so he kind of was he was like a year before i was but then he

just took off yeah again i think there was a moment of like embracing content yeah yeah i remember yeah he is he is one of the nicest guys in the face of the earth like he's so smart he's also like he's got that well he keeps failing that cpa exam yeah we know the limit to his india all the other the cfa cfa cfa do you know how hard that is though like like cpa like i i well i mean a lot of people do pass it right that's how we have we have them. Yeah. I barely passed my CPA. Luke, did you pass your CPA? I was awful in accounting. Awful.

And then I went to consulting, and that's where the 9 to 5 came from. Yeah. Being in Washington, D.C. I think being in D.C. has helped me, too, because D.C.'s got very much of a taboo-ness to it. It's like having a normal guy who's not out there on the campaign trail every day is kind kind of nice and like and i don't really talk about like oh i met this senator today i met you know i did a couple collaborations but like i don't like oh i went to this bar i met these lobbyists i didn't i don't do that so you've been at the dnc yes yes i have you've been partying with those people i have so i'll tell you man democrats not have fun we have fun man we're

going crazy? After parties, after, after. So we go to the convention, right? Any hog reveals? No, no. No, but let me get it. So I went for a lot of reasons. I mean, I'll be honest.

I don't put this on my page a lot, but I don't want to force it on people's throats. But I'm endorsing the vice president. Yeah. Yeah, but it's smart to keep it because Republicans want hog reveals. Right, they do, right. But you know what, though, but you, it's smart to keep it because Republicans want Hografield.

Right, they do, right. But you know what though, but like, here's what I say though, here's what I say though to them. I go,

you know what, I'm not going to impose my will on you. I'm not, I'm not going to be a political, in your face, you got to do this. No,

I invite you to join me. You want to join me in voting? Do that. Right. I just want you to vote. Right. Just exercise your rights, right?

Whatever you want to do is up to you. But I'm like, hey, this is who I'm supporting. But the point is, we partied. Yeah. And we had some pretty good acts. At the DNC, were people ripping a lot of shots? Moderna, Pfizer?

That's good. No, that's really good. No. Thanks, Tony. Very nice. Well, because I was there. That's why. Because they go, oh, my God, this freaking kid.

He's insufferable. So, no. No, but it was really fun. It was a great time. And the I was there. That's why. Because they go, oh, my God, this freaking kid. He's insufferable. No, but it was really fun. It was a great time, and the convention was fun, and seeing the vice president. It was a historic convention. It was like a party. They were doing the roll call of all the states. We cast our votes for VP Harris.

It was like a party in there. Songs for every state. Little John came out. It was a production. That's not talking about the Hoggerville. No, that's not. Little John. Came out. that's a euphemism my middle name is john by the way so it's a it's a oh oh okay john and i work at things that the thing is there was some tweets going out about who's the big

surprise of the dnc thursday it was your hog that'd be a downgrade. Oh, my God. No, but it was really a lot of fun. And the VP gave a great speech. President Biden was great Monday night. He was fun. Are we sure that's him? That was him. That's my guy.

That's my guy. Yeah, but gotta ask. That's my guy. I love him. Might have swapped him out a couple weeks ago. No, God, no. I'll withhold my comment on that. No, but it was really fun to see him up close. And just, you know, Oprah was there.

So, again, I love talk shows. Being in a talk show. Also, Phil Donahue died this week. So, like, Phil Donahue, Oprah at the convention. It's kind of cool to see people that I looked up to for years in TV. So, like, it was just great. And, again, everybody's so nice there. There's a lot of fun.

I got to go on the media. The media bro. Did you see AOC? I did, but I saw her speak. She was great. She was looking right. Yeah. I'll say it.

She is going to be a superstar in the party. She's a superstar already. And she's hot, though. She's very awesome. Politics aside. Oh, I'm apolitical. But she was great. She was great.

And also, Professor Scott Galloway, who's got a great podcast, Prof G, he was at the convention. He was actually the inspiration behind Vibrant Masculinity. I watch his content about you know what it means to be a good man like embracing all parts of yourself being creative being athletic like the whole nine yards right and i talked to him for like 20 minutes he was awesome and i got to learn from him and just kind of you know spitball so yeah you didn't even notice we have kamala's daughter here. Oh, hello. Oh, good. So, Tony, I got a question. You are.

I love them. I was attached to your page just because you are positive and you're a breath of fresh air. Thank you. But do you ever feel like just like shitting on someone? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I'm human. It's like.

You want to give it a try? Oh, no. I think some of the haters sometimes, it really is interesting to me, like how they hate when i do brand deals i don't get it it's like i'm not supposed i'm not supposed to make any money off this i'm not supposed to like feed feed myself or like try to you know gain generational wealth what's so funny sometimes like i think you know as a country we do it a lot is like oh we root for people being successful but when they're actually successful we don't like them anymore. They've sold out. I just kind of hate that. It's like, you know what?

Go get your bag if you have a chance to. I'm starting to realize, too, Tony is essentially like a self-aware Che. Whoa. He's our producer. Oh, okay. But he's not here. If Stephen Che was able to wake up

and see all sides of it that would be Tony P you're not that far from Asian yeah we is damn maybe that's why I'm drawn to you maybe I have a type would you like to shit on somebody in this room oh good no you guys have

only supported me without you guys I wouldn't have a major part of my following so I'm not shitting on you guys, I wouldn't have a major part of my following. I'm not shitting on you guys at all. You can throw it down on me if you want. Well, oh, God. It's like the layup line. Oh, my God.

Are there any big creators who have come at you in any way? Oh, Kooj did. The food guy. The food guy came at me. Oh, fuck Kooj. He came at me for my, it was a while back. He came at me for my Pauly Walnut's impression. Well, now we're going to hear the impression.

I did a Sopranos thing. Yeah. All right. Hit us. Okay. Hey, Joey, use your hat. It's like, you know. Pretty good.

I said, Koochie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Koochie. I just sounded like you. But it's like, and these, I love his content. I love the food. I love it. But it's like, I kind of was like, shit, why'd you crap on me?

It's like, but, because again, I had the fingers down like the Pauly Walnuts. It was more physical. Well, it's funny, like, I think I'm kind of like, you know, I think people like Mike. I'm kind of a unique kind of character. Like, I'm a Democrat, but I love Sopranos, and I love to like, that's kind of like,

that's not exactly the thing you would say. I'm sorry. You're not the first Democrat that likes S you would say i'm sorry i think i might be right like and you know like i'm italian all the time like you know i kind of like i i wear a suit and tie like a lot of people don't think i'm attempting i wear a suit and stuff to work and stuff i wear a suit and tie i go well you can be anything like every part of your personality again i don't impose my will on people i'm not saying hey you gotta vote a certain way but hey this is what I am. I'm fully who I am.

I'm authentic. I watch Sopranos. I watch rom-coms. I'm a Democrat. I play golf. I smoke cigars. I gamble. It's who I am, man.

And people can't understand why I can love all these different things at once. Yeah. I actually can. It's a finite list of things. Right. It's like we can have cool conversations have you ever used

a green screen for your videos I wish that's a good idea yeah I know people do it what do you think about the Costco guys

you know the Costco guys ooh uh oh I mean the whole they're just in the Miami stuff right they wear Miami I kind of

I'm a big Miami fan my grandfather he didn't go there he has like the Miami stuff from the 80s I just love that they wear Miami gear. So I'm like, it's all text. And that's pretty cool because like, I think it'd be better

for my content overall. Oh, look at this. They got a flash mob? Is this new? This isn't a green screen, is it? No, this one's not. Is this at Miami? This is great. It reminds me of the arm roll that I do. It's like, yeah.

Yeah. I should kind of go like that. Like a little punch. I love that. Where do you draw the line? What won't you do? What won't I do? Walking up from a bar, will you pee outside?

Oh. Question. Well, the funny is, I actually don't really drink a lot. So people think that I drink a lot because I have a glass of wine in my hand during dinner or whatever. What they don't realize, that's the only drink i'm having that night all right now because i mean again i've had um my family's very very um has a you know a lot of addiction around both sides of my family so i take that into consideration also i'm just more

of a diet coke guy i just i love a nice diet coke man like nothing better on a hot day after playing golf after playing horror but like i've been playing recently, where I'm hitting every ball into the woods and, you know, 88 strokes later. A nice Diet Coke than a beer. I hate to say it, but the taste is better. It quenches my thirst. Again, you know, so I think I wouldn't take a bunch of shots, something I wouldn't do. What I definitely would try to do is skydiving. I want to try that.

That's one piece of content I want to make. First Democrat skydiving. I want to try that. Okay. That's one piece of content I want to make. The first Democrat skydiving in the world. Yes. Holy shit. Kind of like a Christopher Moltisanti motif a little bit going on.

No, but... What about ketamine? I've heard that a lot in my comment section. Wait, what? Comments want you to do ketamine? Okay, see, people can't understand how much energy I have

on the weekends. I do 9,000 things on the weekends. Yeah. I don't sleep at all. My health is catching up to me on that, i need to i need to get better my my blood sugar is way high so it's like as i get i just i'm always eating crap and going out a lot and they say hey try ketamine to help you out with this to balance you out but then i'm but then i'm

like you know it's just like it's again like you know with my family history addiction like i laugh it off but at the same time it's like you know i've had drug and alcohol addiction very close to me so like i gotta be very now i i take that very seriously so maybe like hey like let's try to tone that down a little bit yeah but like again i don't want to be a jerk because i don't want to not be positive but i also want to say hey this is my you know i have a very more hog less drugs are you afraid are you afraid tony that like someday you're just gonna snap like i feel like it oh i kind of already have yeah like i already have one of your co-workers gets a better business card yeah

eggshell white what's funny is now that i'm doing like clients like i have my own little kind of digital media business like i think for me what happens is like i i'm doing broadcasting i'm doing like my reels i'm doing narration whatever and i mess it up i kind of snap a lot oh i have a horrible temper like it's i have that irish temper that my grandmother left me right and whenever i mess up a word or like you know i have a small little stutter so like if i like slur some words i'm trying to narrate i'll like pound my computer with my fist oh you're like damn marina i want to get a hurt and it's like it's like i'm going like we'll do it live type mentality.

Right? Like that's how I get because, and that's, that's one thing that I snap almost every day sometimes. Like I kind of do like, because I just, it reminds me when I started playing golf, I was trying to play college golf when I was in high school, trying to get into, make the team, make varsity. And I would go nuts if I didn't have, you know, I broke clubs before I threw clubs and I had to do a lot of growth with that and get, get out of that mentality. But now it's kind of coming back because broadcasting is what I love, this stuff. And if I mess it up, I go like that. I go like, you're a perfectionist. Do you ever take it out on somebody else? No, because the thing is, I don't want to. This is for me. I'm like, I got to take it out somewhere. So like I have a stress ball. I'll just go like this. I'm like, I'll pound'll pound the computer i'll just go like what the heck like yeah yeah why can't i get the words out right

do you cuss oh yeah oh yeah me me on the golf course are you sure it's like a drunken sale i don't even drink it's like my golf again my golf came so bad this year it's like gone like really downhill yeah and i'm just like this just sucks well what would you say, though, when you get really mad? Oh, I go. Jiminy Cricket. I go MF. I go like this. Oh, you go MF. Yeah, though. Oh, I go you.

You don't even belong up here. Get the dump button ready. Oh, you know what it was like? You know when Tiger played the Masters way back in 2011, and he hit a shot, and he goes, Tiger Woods, you suck. Like, that's me. Like, I will have narratives. I'll be like, Tony P., you just suck. Get out of here. Like, it's like, I will like, it's me yeah like i will have narratives i'll be like tony p you just suck get

out of here like it's like like i will like it's not good yeah but but like i'm not as bad as fine yes right right i'm not as bad i'm not throwing clubs anymore which is good that that's a real improvement because now i actually bought my own club so i but when i when mom bought them i kind of didn't care but now i'm like i broke like three seven irons But now In my own clubs I kind of go Okay wait a minute Don't throw that Yeah yeah yeah You need a throwing club

That's what I used to do I do I used to bring an old club And just throw it That's a great idea Yeah Like an indestructible club Yeah

Or one shaped like a boomerang Yeah Right And like you can just Break it over your knee Or just a boomerang A boomerang Yeah

There's something so good Sometimes about getting That anger out There's a lot about Like again The positivity Like again You can't always be again i don't want to be toxically positive either you can't always be positive right like there are moments where life just gets to you yeah but the rocky line rocky six line it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward like that's so like i don't go to negative but i, okay, how can I take the hit and keep moving forward?

That's the thing. And that's why I identify with people like in my family that dealt with addiction. President Biden's dealt with a lot of stuff in his life. That's why I relate to those type of folks because they kept getting hit and kept moving forward as opposed to being negative. What's going on? It's loud. Loud shrieks of sorts. What's that from Eggman?

Loud noises. Yeah, loud noises. Do you want to do the gauntlet, Tony? It's loud. Loud shrieks of sorts. Screaming. What's that from Agamemnon? Loud noises. Yeah, loud noises. Do you want to do the gauntlet, Tony? I'm in. All right. Oh, my God, I'm in. Let's do it. Let's get it going.

Tony, what's it like to walk around D.C. as you? Good question. I'll tell you. Bombardment? It is. But you know what, though? I'm grateful. Because, you know, I'm humbled by it.

Because, again, I was a nobody a year and a half. I was like nothing. Like, who the heck am what, though? I'm grateful because, you know, I love, again, like I'm humbled by it because, again, I was a nobody a year and a half. I was like nothing. Like who the heck am I, right? But then afterwards as it starts to happen, I'm just grateful because without these people supporting me, I don't get the chances I get with TV, with this, with, you know, being able to travel and do what I want to do now and try to build a business. Like without them, I don't have this. So I'm just very grateful i i just i cannot be more grateful even for the folks that comment you know the the crap comments or the shit comments i'll just use that word oh whoa whatever tony easy uh yeah i see those comments because at the end of the day it's you're giving me engagement some some folks are like oh

you know everybody follows you just to laugh at you. Well, I'm laughing all the way to the bank. So I laugh the same way I look at my Chase account every month. I love it. Are you motivated by asserting social dominance on peers of yesteryear? Oh, God. How do I sift through that? What are we talking about? It's a simple question. Of yesteryear.

Like old peers. Like you want to show them where you are socially. Older folks, you mean? No, old peers of the past. Yeah, people maybe who are in your past. Like Tony P won't amount to anything. Oh, okay. Yeah, I actually have had, I've always had a confidence problem for years.

Because when I was in school, I was kind of bullied the first few years of school, right? And I always kind of wanted to be the cool kid. And I never really achieved that, just being honest. Again, that's kind of messed up thinking like, oh, you can be cool in your own right. But like, yeah, I like proving people wrong. Like, I want people to see that, hey, you know, yeah, like I'm quirky. I'm a quirky dude. I know I'm quirky. Like, I want people to see that, hey, you know, yeah, like, I'm quirky. I'm a quirky dude. I know I'm quirky. Like, I'm not, I'm not a normal guy. But I want people to know that, hey, you can

be whoever you want to be and achieve what you want. You don't have to be one particular guy, in my case, right? You can be athletic, you can be creative, you can be whoever you want to be. And you can be warm and kind and still do well and also be kind of, you know, kind of an idiot sometimes too. It's like, you can be it all. And that's kind of what I try to embrace. You can be every part of your personality and don't hold back. Have you been eyeing up my big Asian Elvis? Oh my God. Tonight's Elvis night.

The White Sox came. Bro. I might not bring it tonight. Whoa. You gotta go. I gotta go and bring Asian Elvis. You gotta bring that. Get two tickets.

Two tickets, please. Lord Almighty. You want a tip? You know, like the non-king I'd say the creativity you guys have is really funny but no

but it's no it'd be fun the White Sox are awful though from what I hear historically but again the Cubbies

are kind of like eh you know who might be shockingly awful Morgan Freeman oh why

heard he watches his grandkids shower what there was a story might be shockingly awful? Morgan Freeman. Oh. Oh. Why? Heard he watches his grandkids shower. What? There was a story about, like, didn't he? Yeah, Kyle, shit. Oh, God. What?

I think he had a weird dating young. I just read this. Like a celebrity gossip page. It was damn near Woody Allen-esque. Yeah, it was like a. He blames it on his old age. Oh, God. Blames it on his old age. Was it Reddit?

Oh, no. Reddit is a cesspool. Yeah, absolutely. If that's wrong, then yeah, I feel bad. TMZ was wrong. TMZ was wrong about the big guest of the convention last night. They announced Beyonce, right? It's like, how do you get that wrong?

Yeah. Who was the big guest? Nobody. Ah. It was nobody. It was. All guest? Nobody. Ah. It was nobody. It was. All right, right. Well, someone posted that on Twitter, and the comments are like, oh, God, no, not that

freaking guy. It's like, oh, no. But you know what? It's pretty funny. That's interesting stuff. All right. You ready for the gauntlet? Do you know how to do it?

Yes. So you start with the cornhole, right? You got to throw them in. Then you go to basketball. No, sorry. Then you go to soccer, baseball, football, then basketball. Then basketball, then back

here for Sporkle. 10 trivia questions. Sporkle, you just sit down, there'll be 10 questions you got to get. There's like 40 questions, you just got to get 10 answers. People are saying that I might go to Jeff D. Lowe territory. No. No, Tony. I'm taking my wallet out. No weight can be on me.

Yeah, that's a fat wallet. I am aerodynamic, my friend. Strap that hog in, brother. Let's do it. Oh, if it pops out. You know what? To the Biden aviators, oh yeah, you know. Why not? I'm locked in. Alright, Brandon.

Get it, Tony. Brandon, you ready? Have we ever had a Democrat do the gauntlet? No. First one ever. Oh, you got to put it on the ground. TJ, you're going to have to put some asterisks and put lib. Yeah.

Watch this. First Democrat to like this. That's funny as fuck. So funny. All right. Ready? Three, two, one, go. All right, here we go, Tony.

Positivity, Tony. I feel like he plays cornhole. It's all right. Oh! It'd be so funny if he snapped. Yeah. I would love this. If he fell to his knees and screamed, be so funny if he snapped. Yeah. I would love this. If he fell to his knees and screamed punt.

Yeah. He's a motherfucker. Comes over here and punches me in the face. Yeah. No one embarrasses Tony P. Sorry, that was the Italian in me. The Irish. It was the Irish.

Oh my god. And it's a... Yeah. Oh, down to the final bag. Oh, yeah. You're going to start looking like a speed bag. Oh, Tony. Hey, Tony. Oh, no. It's the Biden aviators.

Tony P. Tony, play to win. You're playing not to lose come on Tony Tony P hearing some cuss words he just said kick rocks this might be the longest two gauntlets ever ever

Tony P Tony P Tony P yay alright Tony P. Tony P. Tony P. Yeah. Hey. All right. I feel like the glasses don't help.

At all. Nope. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Tony P. Uh-oh. Tony P. You can score from anywhere.

You can score from anywhere now. You can get closer, Tony. Get closer. Yes! All right. He hit it. Okay. Okay. Okay, Tony P. you're still all right. Give it a ride.

Oh, no. He's barely tapping it. That's all right, Tony. Why is he tapping it? Yeah, I know. He's trying. There we go. He's got tapping it. Why is he tapping it? It's all right, Tony. Why is he tapping it? Yeah, I know. He's trying to. There we go. He's got to wind it back. He's got to actually hit this.

There it is. There we go. All right. Football. Not bad. Uh-oh. No. Uh-oh. No. Uh-oh.

Say it. Tony P is playing like Tony Poop. Oh. Oh, he's going way out. Oh. Oh, boy. We might need to get a smaller football. Yeah.

Brandon's really getting run ragged today. Poor Brando. Oh no. He's got it. Killing him. Okay. Oh, I thought that was in. Shit.

Come on. I don't think it's as hard. I mean, Cam Patterson got it on like the third try. Yeah. I think it might be. I think it's an angle. You have to go at an angle. I think it's harder.

A lot harder. There it is. Three pointer. This might be tough. Well, we'll see right away. And yeah. Three-pointer. This might be tough. Well, we'll see right away. And yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Oh, wait. You're getting there, Tony P. Still under five. Oh, shit. There we go. There he goes. Tony P from three. Uh-oh.

That was closer to the ground. Okay. You never want your shot to be closer to the ground. That was a gravitational pull of Mars. That was a to the ground. Okay. You never want your shot to be closer to the ground. That was a gravitational pull of Mars. That's a very unique throw. It is a throw. What? Is this one further back?

There we go, Tony. It's just a longer 3.5. Positivity. Yep, positive. Positive mind. You got this, positive. Positive mind. You got this, Tony. I'm getting sleepy Come on Tony Glasses off That's all took

Get in here Get in here Alright Sporkle Trivia trivia You're good on time You don't have to go In any particular order Alright you got Precious You have to get 10 any particular order. All right, you got questions.

You have to get 10 total. What do you got? Eight MLB teams with animal names. All right. Get that. Tigers, Cubs. There we go. Oh, God.

Animals. Tigers, Cubs. We have two. Tigers, Cubs. The Angels aren't an animal. Six countries to border the Red Sea. I feel like you're a geopolitical guy. So we have Cubs.

Okay. Tigers. Oh, God. Who released these albums abby road oh the beatles dark side of the moon that's um uh big floyd right yes straight out of compton oh nwa rumors oh flea with mac there we go there we go we're f-l-o-y-d struggling Struggling with... N-W-A. All right, we got Rumor's Purple Rain. Prince. Yep. What's that last one there? Illmatic or Ready to Die.

Oh, God, it's a toughie. Enema of the State. Is that N-W-A too? No, no. Public Enemy. No. The Chronic. Chronic, damn it.

Get back to MLB teams. You got this. Tigers, Cubs. You got this. Tigers, Cubs, not Rangers, not Astros. Diamondbacks? Yeah, that's it. Dynamo.

Dynamo. Okay, so three. There you go. California. Maybe Florida. Oh, yeah. Oh, Marlins. There you go.

Marlins, Devil Rays. Yeah. Blue Jays. There you go. There you go Marlins Devil Rays Yeah Blue Jays Yeah There you go There you go Tom Got it Got it 614

Yeah That's not even bottom 10 Yeah not terrible No That's a great job Thank you Football's been tough Yeah

For everybody We just got new I don't really work out like I should So that was really a good warning sign for me It's a wake warning sign for me. It's a wake-up call for a lot of people, I think. That was fun. Look, you're... Oh, it's not bad.

Okay. You're ahead of Paul Rabel. Oh, no. I'm ahead of Paul? Yeah. Oh, come on. That's my guy. I love him.

Let him know. Beat him. I beat... Oh, I'm going to text him after this. Yeah, yeah. Throw down. Glasses and no glasses. Yeah. Oh, my God. These are. Glasses and no glasses. Yeah.

Oh, my God. These are only good for giving speeches, I guess. These are not good for sports. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, not bad. Not bad.

Not bad at all. All right. Well, Tony. Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. You guys are the freaking best. I got to do one little thing with the boys.

Hold on. Do you want me to take it? That way you can do video for us? Luke, Luke. Get the video. with the boys. Hold on. Do you want me to take it? Is that all right? Can you do a video for us? Luke, Luke, get the video. Boys, this is awesome. What the crap?

Hell yes. Do you want us to say something? Part of the recap. Oh, we don't say anything. Oh, it's going to the recap. It's going to the voiceover. Thank you guys. Beautiful, man.

Wonderful to be here. Yes. This is so awesome. Thank you so much. Great to meet you. You are the best. And just again, love you guys. And hang out as long as you want. Thank you. much. Great to meet you. You are the best. Yeah. Again,

love you guys. Hang out as long as you want. Thank you. Oh my God. I love it. Unless the rest of this. Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks guys. All right. I'll see you. Thanks Tony. Yeah. Got my wallet, right? Yeah,

sir. Don't forget that. I threw the game tonight. Where is my wallet? Oh, there it is. All right, Tony P. Enjoy Chicago.

Oh yeah. Thanks. No guy. Okay. All right. Oh, this is fine. Oh, yeah. No guy. This is fine. This is fine. This is perfectly fine. He might smooch you. Oh, God.

Go, go, go, go. Yes! Tony! Wait, no, no, no, no, no. There he is. Yeah. Love it. Love it.

Love it. What a guy. What a guy. Positive. Genuinely positive. Yeah. That, I'm a Democrat, but I also enjoy the Sprouts. Unintentionally one of the funniest lines I've ever said on this show.

I might change my Twitter body. I'm an enigma. Wait a minute. One or the other. People can't figure me out. You're voting for Kamala? Didn't you just watch Marana? Did you just finish the Pine Barrens?

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Cheers, Kate. Yeah, I'm still a little out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon, Bossman quote tweeted you a minute ago. Which Boss Man? Oh. DP.

Ray Traylor? Uh-oh. Is that bad or good? I don't know. Oh, let's see. I think it was your college football ranking. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

That's fine. Kyle, can we talk about you on the bus yesterday? What? I would like to set the scene it was we were delayed two and a half hours to go home the bus was taking forever I was in the darkest place I've ever been in my life

because I'm saying something yeah I've been on too many buses and Kyle I have TJ I sent you the picture send us a text you text us you're like this is my 14th reason mook did I did and we were all just like yeah this is my 14th reason. Mook did. I did. And we were all just like, yeah, this is tough.

This is tough. And then Kyle one-upped us having the worst bus ride ever. No, I don't think. I was in good spirits. I was on the- Oh, no. Oh, the back of the bus? How bad was it? I mean, it was a bad shit bad shit But listen I have a lot of

Gastrointestinal confidence Yeah But were you afraid of the smell eking out? I have like I will shit anywhere Oh you'll shit anywhere I'm not like afraid of the elements I think the bus driver said if you do poop on the bus it will smell Yeah poop does

Yeah put Huey through hell I was leading it up with a lot of farts. Yeah, I'll shit anywhere. When I have the urge, it's like, I'm not gonna hold it. I agree with you. A toilet seat is a toilet seat. I didn't go at camp. It's a little bit rocky.

You didn't poop the whole time? I pooped like five times a day. It was like a bumper car, because the mirror kept coming open. You were like a bumper car Cause the mirror kept Coming open You were taking a bumper car shit Next week by the way Is Clemmer's on the road Yeah

Oh yeah He's doing it Oh he's actually doing it Oh wow We just I forgot about it Yeah me too I've completely

He's actually going to New Mexico We pre-forgot about it Yeah He's going to New Mexico He'll end up here on Friday with, I think, probably seven or eight hats. So he's driving. Yeah. With who?

Jacob. Intern Jacob. Looks like six to me. Well, no, but he's got three that he got that he has to deliver to us. Oh, that's right. Okay, okay. So we're going to have, I don't know, a quarter of the map done. And question, when do these go on sale?

I think next week. Next week. Okay. I'll get a confirmed date for you. I love it. Not for resale. Not for sale. It says it on the back.

Let's see what Steven had in his brain real quick before we end the show this week. Oh, yeah. we end the show this week um oh yeah i i uh delivered the news to him that there are starburst minis that blew his mind he didn't know he didn't know i text him i was at the movie theater watching that domestic violence blake lively movie oh yeah um look what they have. I hated this. Junior Mint XLs. What? Oh, no. Those are just mints. Those are York.

Get a York. Wait, is the box XL or the Junior Mints are XL? It doesn't really say. I think it's a regular-sized box. Because I had jumbo peanut M&Ms last night. How were they? Okay, but a little too big. Peanut M&Ms don't need to be bigger. No. Butter M they? Okay, but a little too big. Peanut M&M's don't need to be bigger.

No. Butter M&M's. Still, they were too big. Yeah, they're just fucking with all the sizes. Junior Mint XL. I hate that. Yeah, I'm with you. What food stuff gets better in a jumbo size form?

Hot dogs. No. No, I don't think so. Not at all. Give me a foot long hot dog and somehow I feel better. Maybe I'm just gluttonous. But it doesn't taste...

Shrimp? Yeah, shrimp. Shrimp is definitely... Jumbo shrimp, awesome. Yeah, seafood like crab, lobster. Jumbo crab, yeah. Yeah, you're right. But like artificially enhanced.

I don't know. Candies. I think like a Funyun the size of a hula hoop would be fun. That would be fun. That would be a good time. Y'all look at my hair now. It's really, really good. Look at that.

Oh, that's beautiful. That's wavy, huh? Look at me. That's nice. Good jeans. Yeah, thanks. Oh, shorts. I'm sorry.

It's okay, man. It's Friday. So what's going on? Yeah. Oh, I saw that and sorry. It's okay, man. It's Friday. So what's going on? Yeah. Oh, I saw that, and I wanted to do it. What's going on with Safe Flight? They DM me, and they said they're not going to be able to get to it until next week. What the fuck?

I can't drive my car. I don't know how I'm going to get to work. So I guess I can drive it down here, but I don't know. It's a crack all the way across now. Yeah. It's bad. Isn't this the second time well the first time it cracked about three months ago and i just said fuck it i i'm not i'll just let it go for a while i can i can live with it and now it has it is completely taken over and it's not safe anymore i don't think yeah we were driving up to uh the

camp and it's just started going. I don't know if something hit it. It just started going. And by the time we got there, it was all the way across. All right. Yep. But Safe Flight's not fixing it. And I couldn't find a local place to do it this weekend, so I'll deal with it.

It'll be fine. Let me know. I'll let you know, Kyle. Yeah, keep us updated um i will put mook and kyle on mantequing gift watch if i go tomorrow do you have plans to go i don't because i went yesterday but i will be bored after the game tomorrow so i might go yeah week zero is really kind of fucked up it's it's it's just it's just enough football to know it's there but it doesn't give you anything right so what's what who's playing tomorrow Florida State and

Georgia Tech oh that's great but that's it there's SMU Nevada and then a couple of Hawaii Delaware like they should have given us a couple more should be one per window one game per window let's have fun with this let's go all out. I mean, I'm sure Georgia Tech isn't great, right? I like them to cover. Yeah? I just think Florida State's worse at every position almost this year than they were last year. Yeah, but they got DJ. Right.

They got DJ. That's exactly right. DJ Ungolele. DJ Ungolele. Yeah. He's a name. He is a name. There's no doubting of that.

Brandon Walker's going to be on PMT next week. Whoa. Oh, man. Football preview. Wait, is this the first time ever? No. This is the second time ever. The first time was the draft for Dingers Only,

and there I bitched about never having been owned before, and he gave me the invite this year. And now it works. It worked. Yeah, bitching works. He's getting the premier spot. I'm getting the call up. Did you bitch and moan?

I didn't moan. I don't think I moaned. I bitched a little. You bitched a little. But I didn't moan. Okay. Moaning would have been if after the bitching, I went up to him and reiterated. Yeah, like that one of those in my ear.

Yeah. Come on, man. Yeah. I didn't do that. Like that? Yeah. I don't need that. TJ, you got anything else that we missed to talk about?

Me? Yeah. I don't think so. Okay. All right. I mean. This is a Friday. Yeah, this is a long week.

Yeah. Let's recharge. Let's come back refreshed. Let's recharge. Yeah. Let's get it back. Let's give them hell Monday, guys. Let's give them fucking hell. Yeah. Let's recharge. Let's come back refreshed. Let's recharge. Let's get it back. Let's give them hell Monday, guys. Let's give them fucking hell.

Yeah. I wouldn't mind planning a things that failed week. Ooh. Redemption week. Ooh. Yeah, I want to do a special episode. Every day where we thought we had a good idea and it ended up failing. Oh.

What's an example? Tank Thursday. Yeah. A scratch off. Scratch off. Well, I liked your idea for one star week. We all have to bring in something from a one star establishment. I love that. Something else that failed.

We should have somebody go get a one star massage. I think newspaper week did fine. We striving for fine now? We'll be happy with fine. Fine is actually exactly where we live. Well, fine. I kind of think so, yeah. Fine is actually exactly where we live. Well, Oobleck failed, and we did that over.

And then it failed again. I got a good Instagram out of it. I realized it afterwards. It was fine. Failed doubly. Well, I'll tell you, Balloon failed, but we just kept at that thing, and we just kept going. Yeah, that's true. There should be a list of things that failed.

Yeah, the chat knows the failures. I have to retell every TikTok anecdote I've ever told on here. I'm sure chat is spamming MOOC right now. Roan going to Iran, that failed. We failed that. I still got to go to Iran. Iran failed Roan. Make it unsafe for him.

Yeah, that's true. We got to sleep in MOOC's apartment still. With Hank, without MOOC. Things awkward with him. Yeah, that's true. We got to sleep in Mook's apartment still? Yeah. With Hank, without Mook. Things awkward with him. I'm always game for a classic draft. Kyle, did you ever have a grocery shop?

Yeah, we should do a draft next week. What? Did you ever shop for Kate's groceries? I just need the text. I do. Honest to God,

we need berries. I keep saying it bad now. Berries? Every kind? The kids go through berries. Are you talking the straw rasp? Straw rasp, black. You should get them all.

That's expensive, Kate. I know. It's killing me. Black? Yeah. What's your berry budget? It's pretty big? It's insane.

That's all they want. What's your favorite berry? Blackberries are hot right now. Really? I love blackberries. Very stany. Very stany. Very stany. Oh, they'll stain you in a heartbeat.

Not as much as a pomegranate. You eat pomegranate, those stains will stain you for life. Yeah, we should do a draft next week. Okay. Maybe Thursday or Friday. I'm out. But Lucas can handle it. TJ knows.

Oh, are we playing Monopoly next Tuesday? I believe so. Wow. That's going gonna be special That's gonna be something Is it like life size Yeah With twists

Yeah I'm ready What's the jail Jail Actual jail Oh that's next week Yeah I think so Nice

I'm not playing I'll be in the booth eating my 25 meatballs that I never ate from Black Friday. Wow. Nice of you. Nice. Oh, I forgot about that. Yep. I'm going to do it. I don't know if this would be possible,

but I like the idea of some kind of draft where, you know how they have those fondue fountains? Yeah. Meltable stuff. That is an incredible fucking idea. Everybody has their own fondue fountain. And then we make different kebabs that we have to dip in the fondue.

That sounds messy, but I'm in. Kate, that's a brilliant idea. But fountains are tough. You gotta get the right consistency. Alright, we gotta find a fountain. And then you have to take three things that can melt and then a kebab of one. Okay, I'll start working on that.

What's the word? Melt? Meltondue draft. What's the word? Melt. Melt. Melt. Melt draft. Yeah, melt draft. ELT being the... Well, we're going to need...

Okay, go on. I don't know. I was going to say M being the kebab thing and the ELT being the... No, no. I think it'd be anything because then like if M is the solid, you can't use marmalade. Fair enough. So three meltables, one solid. Three meltables, one kebabable. And marmalade. Fair enough. So three meltables, one solid. Three meltables, one kabobable.

And you, marmalade's a deal breaker for you? You gotta be able to use marmalade? No, I'm just thinking that's something meltable. There's only so many... Milk? Milk. Oof. Marmalade's liquid, isn't it? Semi? It's more of a plasma. Is it a plasma? I thought it was a

full liquid. I would call it a solid. Is it pee or poo? Is marmalade pee or poop? Marmalade, I think. Pee and poo, I think. Might be diarrhea. Yeah, it could be diarrhea. I think it's that white substance old people get in the corners of their mouth. The crust in your eyes

when you wake up? Is that poop? Wait, but that's just... You eat poop and it turns into the crust. No, that's popcorn. Popcorn? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, those crusties.

That's marmalade? Oh, I guess you were right. I didn't know it was congenital. What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade a... Your cock in the same house. Yeah, that's true.

I thought marmalade was more like butter. Did I confuse that with margarine? dick. Your cock in the supertask. Yeah, that's true. I thought marmalade was more like butter. Did I confuse that with margarine? Yes. Fruit products preserved with sugar. Oh, okay. They differ in every way. Okay.

Well, I'll be. Yep. I'll be. All right. We'll see everyone on Monday. Back with energy. We'll see you then. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. with energy. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. Have a great weekend, everybody. Happy to be back.

Love you guys. Stay safe this weekend. Bye.