The Yak - Traitor Cheah Tries to Reclaim His American Citizenship | The Yak 8-12-24

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Big Cat returns with the ultimate test for FrencheahYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Roback.com, use code Yak at Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, Roback.com, 20% off. Hey, guys. Hey. What's up? Miss missed the fuck out of you guys happy to be back i was grit week it was great it was great matt stafford matt's matthew matthew matthew stafford oopsies yeah it was great though i missed you guys so much though though. I guess I was here Friday. You got anything to say to me?

No, not really. Nothing? I don't think so. Seems like you put a lot of stock into sinking my boat. Oh, you're still on that? Oh, I forgot about that. That's the last show we had. I genuinely forgot about that. That was so long ago.

The show just aired two days ago. Seems like you put a lot of weight into that. Are we going to talk about the past? Yeah, what are we going to talk about the past? You sound like a woman bringing up all this old shit. I have something I'm going to say to you. Let's not talk about the past.

I have something to say to you. Oh, Steven. Oh, shit. Forgot. Steven, why don't you put this on? We'll get to you later. Yeah, we will get to you later. We'll get to you later. Go ahead and put this on, buddy. Forgot. Steven, why don't you put this on? We'll get to you later. Yeah, we will get to you later. We'll get to you later. Go ahead and put this on, buddy boy. Yeah.

We got the mustache, the scarf. Go ahead. We will get to you later. Nick and I have... Put it on right here in the middle. Yeah, Nick and I have concocted something special for you, buddy. Trader Che, who rooted against Team team usa we'll get to that but brandon um congratulations thank you thank you thank you thank you good job my boat i believed in my boat

i love my boat yep yep good job boat good job boat uh i was disappointed I know you were. You really wanted to do it. But I'm a man of integrity. Okay. And I can admit when I'm wrong. And I was wrong. It wasn't like right or wrong. It was like we needed it to sync for the entertainment of our show. And it did not.

It was very disappointing. What is this? I have purchased Brandon an 85 inch TV. Oh my God. Is that excitement you're feeling? You won. I can have that? Yes. I bought it for you. Look how big. It's too big. It's way too big.

That's too big. That's going to look clunky. That's trashy. I bought it because it's way too big and also now Brandon every time he enjoys a game he's got to remember that I a and now i bought it because it's way too big and also now brandon every time he enjoys a game he's got to remember that i was the one who bought that for him because his tv was way too small no well was it worth the two grand to do that probably not but oh my god that's an 85 inch tv i actually got the good one because they actually said oh you can get this one that's a little cheaper i was like let's get the good one. But how are you going to get that to them?

How are you going to get it home? I'll get it home. I used a pickup truck to get it here. And you're not allowed to use a pickup truck to get it home. I'll get it in the Jeep. You'll get that in the Jeep. No, you will not. No, Shoddy.

I'll get it. I'll bring the other car tomorrow. I'll bring the other car. No, it didn't fit. The other car is my car. It didn't fit in there. It won't fit in your car? No, I used a pickup truck.

And you better. We can't keep this here. So you got to get. Oh, here, the mustache, Steven, the mustache. Where's Jaron Duran when you need him? Brandon, that is an 85-inch TV. It better be in your house by football season. It's going.

It'll be there by this week. I'll figure out a way to get it home. And every time you watch anything on that TV, you of me art has a truck i'll i'll borrow arts you can't use tiny dick arts truck i can use tiny dick arts truck no that was part of the deal i'll lift it as his truck yeah yeah you deserve something though for us not being able to sink your boat and your tv was so so small well i did i texted you the day of i was like you you failed by sinking not sinking my boat but you flipped it immediately. Yeah.

Because all my DMs were about my tiny TV. Yeah. So now you have a TV. My TV was 65 inches. It was too small for that room. Yeah. And I hope this is too big for the room. I don't know if it'll be.

I got a lot of stuff on the wall. I'm going to have to move. Grant, I've never seen you this excited. I am excited. But let me ask you this. You're a man who wants something and gets it. Yep. Sure. Why haven't you already gotten a larger TV?

Priorities, I guess. Are you starting to feel the weight of siren all those children? Kids gotta eat. But you are excited about this. I'm very excited about this. You have one boy that eats 30 nuggets at a time? Yeah. I got one boy that eats. He's my eater.

Yeah. Okay. So congrats, Brandon. You deserve a big TV. Yeah. Because it was pathetic what you were dealing with. Look at that. Oh, okay.

All right. Look how small that thing was. Where is it? You're going to need a new TV. Damn. All right. If we're just so people out there know. Keep that up there.

Just so people out there know. No. That's not my TV. No, that is exactly what it is. That's not my TV. I know it smelled crazy in there too. It were in there. Yeah, it did.

It's going to swallow your memorabilia. You needed a bigger TV. I needed a bigger TV. I'm very excited about my big TV. Yeah. Can I go touch it? Yeah, go touch it. Go touch it.

It can't sit right there because it will get knocked down within seconds, right? Somebody's knocking that TV down. Yeah. Can we throw baseballs at it? No. Well, technically,

it's still my TV. I thought it was... Until it's in your house, it's my TV. I feel like it's been given to me. Actually, it's always my TV. Even at my house? Yeah.

So if I'm watching... If it's 2 given to me. Actually, it's always my TV. Even at my house? Yeah. So if I'm watching, if at 2 o'clock on a Saturday, I'm watching Mississippi State driving to beat Alabama, you can call me and say flip my TV. Yeah, actually, I'm going to get a remote that goes all the way to Ant. Well, you have Tommy. Yeah, I'm going to get a special remote for Tommy, the master remote. I'll get a red phone, and I'll call him, put in the nukes, turn it off.

That's my TV. Well, can we at least get a little placard that says, like, this TV? Yeah, I would like that. I would like that. I would like that. It will be, well, it should be as big as the TV. It should be an 85-inch placard. Yes. Yeah, an 85-inch placard.

It goes over the screen. This TV brought to you by Big Cat. Yes. I don't know how you're getting that home. Brandon. I don't worry about that. I mean, I'll just, that's a, that's a big boy. I got rent one of those Lowe's trucks,

right? Those Menards trucks. Yeah. Those are easy. The only thing I asked for in return for this yeah is that we get at least one more chance to sink the boat yes yeah with present company you get we'll do the same amount of people okay your tweet including max it was just the first fellas that popped into my mind when i thought of what we needed

big twang dugs and max yeah yeah you know who you could blame who he didn't even get in the boat but a year ago tj would have sank that boat that's wow yeah also i feel like sass is to blame a little bit because maybe he was the first one to say the boat was small. Yeah. The boat's not small. It is small. Everybody fit on the boat, no problem. The boat is sturdy.

Yeah, but is it slow? No, it's not slow. It is. It's very slow. It's two miles an hour. Incredibly slow. Super slow. It gets up to four miles an hour.

And the bugs are crazy. The bugs are crazy. You do have to do something about the bugs. Now that we're not on air anymore, seriously. The bugs are fine. You have to do something about the bugs. Yo that we're not on air anymore, seriously. The bugs are fine. You have to do something about the bug. Yo, we're putting on about that. You know what?

We should make you, if you're so confident in your boat, put the TV on the boat next time we do this. Oh, yeah. I like that. It's not sturdy. Well, actually, you could just ask the owner of the TV if you would do that. Can we bring the TV on the boat? Yes.

Let's give the TV a tour of the lake. I love owning something in Brandon's house. It's not a gift for, just so everyone's clear, I can take it back at any time. The TV is legitimately as big as the boat. And it's a good TV. I asked. Special.

I'm so- Give me the best 85-incher. Very excited about my TV. Our TV. Your TV. You're borrowing it from me. thank you thank you yeah if my if my life goes to shit that'll be the first thing i pawn it's always money in the banana i keep all my assets at brandon's

i should just put a wad of cash behind the tv steven you're forgetting something please look at Steven this pathetic French boy piece of shit there you go put that on buddy alright so what else did I miss? I missed you guys a lot did Mook buy a limo? I saw you guys

trying to cheat the gauntlet we didn't cheat the gauntlet at all it was an experiment if you didn't get the gauntlet at all. That's not cheating. It was an experiment. I ran one. I won't. Yeah. Well, if you didn't get the first cornhole right away, you started again. No, mine was a clean run.

It was his first attempt. First attempt. I rewatched your run. You had misses on everything. I don't know if you did anything first try. The basketball shots, I think. Was that first? Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess I didn't watch all the way through. Yeah, TJ. Thankfully, TJ learned how to not spell just for Thursday. Yeah. I guess I didn't watch all the way through. Yeah, TJ. Thankfully, TJ learned how to not spell just for Thursday. Right. I got you, brother. Someone was like, any comments on TJ throwing it for Titus with misspelling words?

I was like, TJ can't spell ever. We needed Bukkake to be every word. Yeah. Yeah, find me a Sparco or Bukkake is the answer. Hiroshima and Nagasaki, those are – you got to play to TJ's strengths. Yeah. You got to be like – you know, the Sporkle needs to be like cat, bat, dog. Yeah.

If I'm really pointing fingers, Dan, I point fingers at Brandon not authorizing my home runs. Oh. I was hitting a bunch of the wiffle balls like up. I wasn't sure if they were out at the ceiling yeah but they were like hitting the ceiling like i don't know it was a lot of so i just kept waiting for it to be no doubt about it and i feel like if one of those brandon would have been like thank you good go ahead thank you you know what i'm gonna do for

you give him another tv no i'm gonna i'm gonna you have ownership from for channels one through 100 what even are those? I don't know. But you get them. I don't even have channels anymore. Really? Oh, are you a YouTube TV guy? I'm a YouTube TV guy.

What? They're not numbered, so I just have the... You're a cord cutter? I'm a YouTube TV guy, yeah. No cords in my house. So when you want to watch a show that's not on YouTube TV, what do you do? Everything's on YouTube TV. Everything? Everything? It's just like a cable car. I don't get how TV works. Neither do I. watch a show that's not on youtube tv what do you do everything's on youtube tv everything

everything it's just like a cable i don't get how tv works neither do i so if an apple tv exclusive you can watch that on youtube tv no no that's on apple tv but anything that's over the air cable live television it's tv it's tv yeah it's cable tv fascinating yeah am i the youtube i don't understand is cable still is spike tv still a thing yeah i don't know if spike is yeah it's not right yeah i thought it went under 10 years ago it's paramount now shit well no how did sunny southern california what did it do for you? Nothing really. Nothing new? Nah. Breakfast tacos? Nah. Burrito? Nah.

What'd you eat? In-N-Out once. Okay. It was a lot. Grit Week is kind of like go, go, go. So it wasn't a lot of sitting down for dinner and stuff. Can I make a request, Big Cat? Yeah.

Can you get him a TV, an 85-inch TV, every day this week? It becomes a burden. That third one would suck. He's so happy. He deserves it. He won. He outright won. We failed.

We didn't sink his boat. On the way up, Titus was mentioning your content brain and if we can't sink it, what was going to happen? And he predicted that you might pull out a gun i was hoping we were all hoping that we were all like there was one there was one photo that someone posted maybe it was d martina where we it looked like we were so close when we were rocking it back and forth yeah yeah we're gonna sync that thing eventually we have to i really did think when you think when we pulled up to the dock and we were like, Kate, you get off first.

And I was like, oh, shit. He's really going to sync the boat. I thought you were going to sync it right at the end. I truly believed. I was like, oh, my God. And Stephen Che, that one clip that Brandon shared with us today was, oh, look at that. Look at this fuck.

You look stupid as hell. Look at this fuck. Wait, Che, look at the camera. Can you play that clip, TJ, where Stephen thought Tommy was pushing the boat? You are. Tommy is pushing the boat out How? How would that be possible? Tommy is pushing the boat out

I think he's just latching on for a little joyride Connor just as nice as possible How, Steven? How? I just got there from my angle, it looked like he was pushing That was incorrect I was just getting there, man, at all I hadn't seen the book go up.

Do you get fact-checked at home? Does your wife ever say, like, no? I'm sure at some points. Oh, this is very cumbersome. Cumbersome? But yeah, I admit it. I was wrong. That's fine.

Yeah, but we didn't need you to admit it. Okay. Yeah, we already knew you're wrong yeah everyone knew you were wrong everyone um so should we should we get to punishing chay yeah i think so i think we need to so for people who miss it steven chay uh bet on every team except the u.s yep i bet on two teams. I thought I had three tickets, but when it was the final four, I had – So one of them was the U.S. then, right? Yeah. No. No.

You bet on the U.S. No, the team that won, you didn't? Steven, I'd like to hear you talk in a French accent for the rest of the show. How do you say no in French? This is going to break his brain. That's yes in German. Or rush. Is it rush?

No we. No we. Okay. No yes? No yes. But yeah, he rooted against our country. Our beautiful country. Were you actively rooting?

Were you watching it on TV and saying boo at the US? Saying boo? I was invested in my bet. Yeah. rooting it like were you watching it on tv and like saying boo at the u.s saying boo i mean i was i was invested in my bet yeah i was i would have i would have hoped that they would have lost so when steph hit those four threes you were mad uh well steph is like though i don't like a majority of the team steph is one of the few players that's like you can't really hate that guy so i mean i don't think you can hate a majority of the team. LeBron, Jason Tatum, Tyrese Halliburton. Why would you hate Tyrese Halliburton? He didn't play.

You just hate two guys. Two of the three guys you named did not play. Why would you hate Tyrese Halliburton? Tyrese Halliburton is like the big trying to be the anti-Nick villain. I'm a Knicks fan. Jaylen Brunson's not on the team. I have no rooting interest in the team. If they play the Knicks, it's the USA.

You have no rooting interest in the United States? All right, Olympic hardos. I know Jeff put out the fucking crap. Olympic hardos? It's our country. What are you talking about? Are you guys all watching the Olympics like all the time? Yes.

Yes. Every day I woke up, I threw them on. Every day. I wasn't watching all the Olympics, but I'm rooting for the US. Sure. Yeah. No, no. Not for you.

Sure. Yeah. Okay. You said you had no rooting interest. In the players in the team, yeah. That's how I root for basketball. Damn. It was such a great game.

I had my team, and then I didn't like most of those players. It's crazy. So he needs to be punished. So we've come up with a plan. Nick and I have come up with a plan. We have a citizenship test that we're going to give Steven. You've got to earn your U.S. citizenship back. Yeah.

And every time you get a question wrong, we have a wheel to spin on something you have to do that's French. Oh, amazing. Yes. Yes. So Steven Chase citizenship test. And do we have a plan for the very end? Yes.

The very end, you will have to, after everything's over, you're going to have to hit four consecutive threes in under two minutes, running back and forth on the court. And if you don't, you can't shower or wear deodorant for an entire week. If you want to be French so bad, you got to stink. Yep. We also would take, if you don't want to do the shower deodorant, you could watch for the rest of the week a French movie every single night

with no subtitles and give us a review. Are those available? Gosh. This guy. How would we get one? How have you made it this far in life? It's insane. It's crazy.

It's crazy. It's insane. Are those available? It's crazy. Do those exist? Netflix's insane. Are those available? It's crazy. Do those exist? Netflix? Where is that? Oh, my God.

I don't know. You can find French movies, too. Yes. Let's begin my test. Okay. All right. So I'm going to have Spider bring out all the stuff. And then...

Do you want me to hear you? I'm in the court. He hasn't tried a French accent at all. Yeah, no, not at all. Not even a little bit. Why don't you go out here and sit next to Nick? Okay. And TJ, you can show the wheel.

So this is for... Actually, you know what? We'll start the citizenship test, and then we'll do the wheel. And we'll yak in between, because some of these things are going to take Steven a while. So every time he gets one wrong, we will spin the wheel, And we'll yak in between because some of these things are going to take Steven a while. So every time he gets one wrong, we will spin the wheel

and we'll have to do that. And then you can eliminate that thing off the wheel. How many things are on the wheel? I think there's eight. Okay, we have ten questions. Yeah. So we should be good

because you should get these. You should get these if you are an American, Steven. Okay. I'm not very good at... Being an American, we know that. Just general news information.

He looks so different with the mustache. I know. Mustache. There is even a cognito. He takes me to the Asian. He looks like a white guy now. All right. Should we get started?

Yeah. All right. Che, question number one. Okay. Who signs a bill get started? Yeah. All right. Che, question number one. Okay. Who signs a bill into law? Jesus. Jesus is not right.

These are a lot of these questions are straight from to become a citizen of the United States of America. A bill into law. The House of Representatives. The president. So close. Okay, TJ, let's spin the wheel. Okay, so on the wheel we have a menage a trois, a croissant, a baguette, snails, surrender, two glass wine chug, cheese, and cigarettes. Okay.

This is the French wheel. Kate parked up. I mean, it's just the first one. What's the question? It's not Eliminator, correct? What's the question? It's just the one. How would it be Eliminator? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know this game. I'm hearing this for the first time. It's a wheel. We do it. We create all the games here. I'm hearing this for the first time. It's a wheel. We do it. We create all the games here. I'm asking for the rules. Okay.

Once you get it, it's no longer on the wheel. Does that help? Okay. Go ahead and spin it. That's beautiful. It is a great wheel. Yeah. Oh.

What's the thing I don't want on here? All of them? All these are bad. Okay. So I think we have a full wheel of brie cheese that you're going to have to eat. Oh. Are you good with dairy? I have a theory that I might be lactose intolerant because every time I have ice cream, it's bad news later. What about a whole wheel

of cheese? And also remember at the end of this your full tummy of French items is going to have to shoot basketballs. Not good. We told you to come hungry. I didn't eat breakfast. Okay, great.

Is it baked? I don't know. I can't look at him. I think he looks awesome. I think I take i think i take out the mustache i think it looks pretty good and thank you for letting us punish you yeah yeah i mean he needed to be punished he knew it who was the most angry with you was it big cat or was it titus i think i was pretty i was pretty fucking pissed i kept on calling him a dork yeah i was fired up

I don't know how you can be a basketball fan and watch the Serbia game And the France game and be cheering against the United States It's crazy Yeah that's parentheses In PEMDAS You root for the US That's just what you do We're all Americans

I went to text some of my buddies when I saw it From my military days I forgot they're not here anymore yeah they're dead they died for Steve for Steve so Steve could root for the France and you're allowed to have that freedom because of them

do you tell how'd that go good he was like how'd your bet do did France win it was like a kids birthday party we had to be nice to you. He was probably right... I don't think he really cared. Disgusting. Did you guys see

how the Olympics ended? No. It was the women's marathon and a Bhutanese lady was like, she lost by an hour. Where's that from? And everyone was gathering around to support her, cheer for her, and everyone was talking about how it's moving how uplifting it is that she sucked embodies the spirit of the olympics yeah but it's the olympics right you gotta like that's it's not like some

random lady who pushed to finish a marathon right and where's where's Bhutanese? Bhutan. It's like we're at Mount Everest. Oh. It's on the- It's the flowers on a tuxedo. Got it. Yeah. Oh, there's your cheese. That's a lot of cheese.

That's not a full meal, though. You should be able to do that. That's a good slice of brie. Now, does he have to eat the skin of the cheese as well? The rind? Sure. Oh, yeah. It's all edible.

Yeah. Is it? Yeah. I've actually never eaten brie cheese like this, so I assume that is okay. It's quite good. Yeah. You're going to enjoy it. The thing we bought from the grocery store is edible.

Need some crackers? Do we have that? I don't know. We have a baguette, but you might have to eat a full baguette if you want to try to eat your... Worst case scenario is the cigarettes block your appetite. Let's hope those are towards the end. You could eat bonus baguette if you'd to try to eat your... Worst case scenario is the cigarettes block your appetite. You can eat bonus baguette if you'd like. No thanks.

There's a sticker which definitely is not edible. Wait, they put the sticker right on the cheese? Yeah. Oh man. Okay. Che, do you have any French? French?

He's supposed to eat this with no crackers. Oh, man. Okay. Che, do you have any French? It's just funny. With no crackers. It's just funny. It's just funny to watch. Let's get a one bite review. Very creamy. It's chewy, but it's not chewy. It's just kind of sticky.

It tastes like a big gummy. Is it dense? Is there a density to it? There's a heft to it, yeah. Yeah, there's a heft. It's just kind of sticky. It tastes like a big gummy. Is it dense? Is there a density to it? There's a half to it, yeah. Yeah, there's a half. This is going to be challenging. You can eat half of that. What?

Can we make him break dance? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You should have to break dance. I wanted Steven and Brandon to break dance. I'd be up for that. Oh, yeah. Raygun. I'm retired and Brandon to break dance. I'd be up for that. Oh, yeah. Raygun.

I'm retired again. She's something. Is there any new developments about her? People think she did it for a thesis paper. Yeah, she's like a woke professor. But did you see how she qualified? No. She was in the Oceanic Games, and she clearly lost the finals,

and they gave her the win. Really? I heard maybe her husband they gave her the win. Really? I heard there was maybe her husband was one of the judges. Really? There's a lot of misinformation going on about that. Well, she's going to be a superstar now. Speaking of the judges, did you see the judges for the breakdancing? No.

They were all wearing, like, bucket hats. Yeah. Like, tilted. They were all, like, tilted bucket hats. Yeah. I don't know why I thought they'd be, like, buttoned up in, like, official Olympic, but yeah. People were saying she made a mockery of the sport, but I mean, their arena is an opened cardboard box.

Well, when I first saw her, I was like, oh, she's good. And then I saw a dude spin on his head for like four minutes. I was like, oh, okay, that's break dancing. If she was dancing, she'd be the best dancer in this office. Yeah. She'd be the best dancer at any bar and club, right? The kangaroo? When she did the kangaroo?

She'd be the best dancer on the show. On the show, yes. There's got to be someone here that's better than that. In this office? Yeah. There's a dancer laying in here somewhere. What sequence was like, okay. I feel like Chef Donnie could dance.

Yeah. I've never seen him dance, but I just feel like you go out with him and he... He can dance. He can move his hips. Yeah. He's probably a great dancer. Why don't we... Because you can add any event.

We should just add white guy at a wedding dancing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Can't move your hips. Brandon, have you ever gotten served? Never gotten served. Wow. I've never met anybody that has.

Served... By a breakdancer. No, I think you meant legally? Never gotten served. Wow. I've never met anybody that has. Served. By a breakdancer. No, I think you meant like legally. Oh, no, no. How's that cheese, buddy? Very thick. Very heavy. Would people eat this much?

Half of it you can eat. You wanted to be French. Do you regret it at all yet? I mean, gambling. It's a value play. How many calories is that whole thing? It's not a value play. You have no chance of winning.

Yes. There was no value. No value. Zero value. There's no value in... I mean, USA was minus 500 pre-tournament. But they were always going to win. France was never going to win.

If you wouldn't bet on them, you would have won money. Right. If you wouldn't bet on the US to win. I'm sure there were some people who did. Okay. They were minus 1450 yesterday to win. If you would have bet on them, you would have won money. If you wouldn't bet on the U.S. to win I'm sure there were some people who did. They were minus 1450 yesterday to win. And they did. And they did win. And they won gold.

They were never going to lose. They were not going to lose. No value in losing. But I had fun. You got them on a technicality. The journey's the journey. The journey was fun. Yeah, you tweeted so many times that you had fun that I have a feeling you didn't have fun. Definitely had fun. I did.

Watching the game. I kept on saying this was such a fun ride. Watching Rudy Gobert was probably more fun than Steph Curry bombing threes. Yabu dunked on the ground. Getting red fucking hot. Yeah. It was good to see a good game. It was a good game.

Yeah. Because our team won. Yeah. It was a close game, yeah. Steph Curry, legendary player. I hate that you couldn't have the thrill of watching Steph sink those last four. I yelped. I stood up.

I was the only person in my living room. I scared – well, how did you see it? He had to stand up to see the TV. Yeah, I scared Stella on the couch because I yelped so loud. Is that TV still out there? It's around the corner. It's around the corner? Yeah, I scared Stella on the couch because I yelped so loud. Is that TV still out there? It's around the corner. It's around the corner? Yeah, why?

Nope, I do. Oh! No. No. No. That can't fit in your apartment. Fuck no. That's your whole apartment.

I would love to see that, actually. I think I could make room. No, he didn't say it when it came in. That's true. If I know there's a shot you on that, kind of have to know what I do right away. But Brandon, you have one as well. If I have to use it, I'll use it. But this is my reward for my boat being so strong.

But I said the words. You're way too late. How's the cheese? Fine. Two more bites Two more big bites Big bites Two more big bites

Tremendously gross It's a large volume Please don't eat all of them Yeah, two more big bites That's actually the worst one Except for the wine chug It's good, but like What are cigarettes?

That's a cigarette He's got to smoke a cigarette That's not bad Alright, last bite Big bite make it happy There you go Oh yeah Sure

It's fine It's just you It couldn't hurt you any more than Like you Like eating wax. You gonna get dumber? You know, if you get these questions right, you're not gonna have to do many of them. That's true.

I ain't gonna get any of these questions right. Yeah, you will. That had to have been the easiest question, though. That was a pretty easy question. That was an easy question. By the way, GameTime, did you know you can get tickets to Blue Jays and Cubs this Friday? Right now, only $32. That's right. Thanks to GameTime, official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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Yes. Stephen Che. Hey, my friend. What are the first three words of the Constitution? Yes. Stephen Che. My friend, what are the first three words of the Constitution? I don't know. You really are French. Oh, this is so easy. This is easy.

This is easy. Isn't it like written all big? Yeah. Yeah. It is easy. This is easy. Isn't it like written all big? Yeah. Yeah. It's massive. He's never going to find it. The Constitution. This was Philadelphia, right?

Part of it. Sure. We'll think about who wrote the Constitution. He doesn't know know that Founding fathers Of course Name a founding father It's actually a We'll give you two guesses

Two three word guesses They get real French with it Right out of the gate yeah well my first guess is probably very wrong okay give it to us let freedom ring i'm trying to think that's the chorus of martina mcbride's independence day that's what you're thinking of uh often. Yeah, that's not the Constitution. I like cut out the hard ones. I kind of want to see some more guesses.

Go ahead. Give me another guess. Can I ask a fair question? Is it a sentence? Is it a three-word sentence? It's the first three words. It's not a full sentence. It's a declaration.

Yeah, it's a declaration. I do declare. Okay. That's a declaration. Yeah, it's a declaration. I do declare. Okay. That's another guess. That's Foghorn Leghorn. One of the founding fathers. It is. Foghorn Leghorn right next to John Hancock.

What is it? Are you give up? Oh. One more guess. It's something a collection, a collective would proclaim, a group of people. Oh. This is one of those things where we've given you basically the first word, and if it doesn't trigger it, then you've got no chance.

We've said all the words. Yeah, all the words. The last ten seconds. Yeah. We have said it the words. Yeah, all the words. The last 10 seconds. Yeah. We have said it, for sure. In God we trust, I have no idea. Okay. That's four words. Nick, what's the answer?

It's we the people. We the people. Alright. Look how big it is. Enormous. Who was looking looking at that what do you mean the whole world this guy i think we're finding out that he really hates america he's going to just do should we save our time and just have him do all okay spin the wheel oh steve i'm sorry. Those were easy, right? Those were very easy. We're on fucking America All Madden right now.

That's all we can think of. At least let's go pro or rookie. America All Madden. That first one was kind of rookie. They both have been rookie. They've both been rookie. They both have been like sixth grade. There's no stadium pulse either, dude.

John Hancock just, I do declare. I do declare. Who's going to match his freak? Who's going to match your freak? No one can. Let freedom ring. Okay. Let's see what we got it would have saved them a lot of time yeah they just would have wrote let freedom ring that's a three-word constitution send it

but that's send it that's the declaration of independence you're thinking of probably this is the constitution oh fuck no you wouldn't have had it anyway i was thinking that yeah and for the people at home and for our international crowd that aren't in tune with america quite as much go ahead and explain the difference between the constitution and the declaration the constitution is the laws yeah declaration of independence is saying that we are uh-huh not with you guys there we go yeah how's this start it should should be Let Freedom Ring. Okay, fair enough. I mean, yeah, I guess that wouldn't change my guesses too much.

No. All right. They're both Philadelphia, right? Yeah, kind of-ish. All right. He's trying to find a win somehow. Getting some momentum. Okay, yeah, that was momentum.

I do declare. I do declare. Have you ever had a cigarette before, Che? Yeah. I actually wanted to smoke a cigarette this weekend. I was at Metallica. Oh. Oh, yeah.

You should have. Yeah, I didn't. Okay. Spin it. Are you a cigarette and casino guy? I love the smell of secondhand smoke. Well. Oh, there we go.

You get first hand. Yeah. I don't really like smoking, but that's fine. I don't know how to like I cannot successfully light a cigarette that's part of what does that mean can't be true there's like one that's what we did this like the merits oh oh torch is. Does anybody else have a lighter? That torch is fine. Does it work? What else did you guys get into when I was gone?

Yeah, answer that. What did we get into? Oh, Kyle almost died. What? Oh, yeah, yeah. A coma. Came pretty close, coma. What happened? That's right.

My injection, my Botox injection. Last second cancellation. I'm allergic to the general anesthetic. Oh, my God. Like he was on the table. They were about to do it. I'm sure they weren't going to. Wait, you knew you were allergic? It seemed a little bit late to tell me that.

I don't know if it was. You knew you were allergic? So I don't know. So that's kind of a lie. Are we back? Oh, we are. Did everyone get the neurodivergent comment? Stephen, say it again. I'm talking into the mic. Stephen, say it again.

I said, what does neurodivergent mean? Someone tweeted, Stephen, dude, I love you, but you're definitely neurodivergent. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right love you, but you're definitely neurodivergent. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. That sounds right. Okay.

We're back. Yes. Sorry about that. We had to hot swap, but we're back. Stephen, your cigarette is almost done. Almost. Are you ready for question three? Yeah.

Okay. Our neurodivergent French boy. I'm going to simplify this one. I said name all four, but Che, name three of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore. Oh, come on, Che. Come on, Che. Wait, wrong answers are wrong. So you can't, like.

Instant X. You can talk it out, but you have to lock in. Lock in three. Can I ask one question first? Always. Always. You always get one. You can talk it out, but you only can, you have to lock in your three. Can I ask one question first? Of always, always. You always get what year was it made or like roughly? I have no idea. That's a really good question.

What is it? Like the seventies or something? Oh yeah. Seventies. Seventies. Sixties. Yeah. That's fair.

George W. Isn't on it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. George Washington. Okay. Is that a final answer okay is that a final answer is that final answer because he was on the card the laugh factory card oh instead of that is that a final answer that's one

of your three yes yes is that a final answer final answer is that right that's correct okay okay not one it was built built between 1927 and 1941. Oh, wow. There's no way he knows presidents in that era anyway. Shit, 27. Yeah. Abraham Lincoln. It's got to be, right?

Are you locking it in? Land of Lincoln. That's Illinois. Yeah, we're in it. So, yeah, it's got to be. Wait, wait, wait. so yeah it's gotta be we're in it is do you think mount rushmore's here no it's in like north dakota so that's the next question so okay uh yeah abraham lincoln final answer that's two one more i think he's got to get all four he's not getting all four i'm definitely not getting all four threes i don't know if he's got to get all four. He's not getting all four. I'm definitely not getting all four. Three is going to be tough.

I don't know if he's going to get another one. Yeah, that might be it. Come on, Steven. He's tapped out. I think that's it. Washington and Lincoln. Oh, man. I have two guesses I'll talk them out.

One is Adams, and the other one is Teddy Roosevelt but I feel like Teddy Roosevelt was like kind of in that time frame okay so final answer oh no Thomas Jefferson why have I heard of that guy I don't know it's gotta be Thomas Jefferson walking in I have no reason to know who Thomas Jefferson is. Oh, that I get is logic. Yeah. Sound logic. It has to be Thomas Jefferson.

Locking in? Final answer. He's correct. All right. This is a slumdog millionaire performance. That was genius. I know him for some reason. Why is someone told me his name?

Do the fourth. You got the fourth. Do the fourth. Is it Teddy Roosevelt? Yes. Yes. What year was he president? Look.

Good work. Early, early, early. Turn of the century? Yeah. Is Teddy Roosevelt the one in the smushed middle? The mustache. Yeah, that's right. Okay.

Damn, Che. Hell yeah. Nice like that. That was good. Okay. Yeah, that's right. Okay. Damn, Che. Hell yeah. Nice like that. That was good. Okay. All right. All right. The next one's real easy because we don't have to spin the wheel because you got it right.

Yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah. Where is Mount Rushmore? It's in one of the Dakotas. North Dakota. It's Carson Wentz. His fucking brain. His brain. South Dakota. It's Carson Wentz. His fucking brain.

This brain. South Dakota. This brain is special. I don't know anything about South Dakota. But I feel like if I knew something about North Dakota, aside from Carson Wentz and Trey Lance, it would be that. So, South Dakota. Final answer?

Yes. He's right! This is unbelievable. Because you didn't know a football player from South Dakota. Why do I know anything? This is like when you were in math class and you have to show your work except the work is just making you dumber. He's showing his work

and we're all like, what the fuck? But it kind of makes sense. Thomas Jefferson was genius. He's like, I shouldn't know that name. Why else would I know this man's name? Unbelievable. It's more entertaining when you get it right. Yeah, you're on a heater.

Alright, Stephen Che. How many questions are there? Ten. This is good though because you have less things you have to do. Name the three countries we fought in World War II. Well, it's got to be Germany. You locking in? yeah I'll lock that one in

that's correct great poll incredible three you know nothing it's insane have these been hard? the knowledge he has in his brain

is just shocking let's eliminate some countries che who yeah yeah no just let him go let him go he's on a heater got his own thing let him go he's got his thing something you got to use madden somehow you got to use football Germany I thought they were like the big bad guys they were Nazis you know who was the guy who was the big bad guy Adolf Hitler

there we go I'm trying to think back to like I don't remember what movie it was what the title of it was I don't think it was King's Speech, but it was something. There is a movie with a title. Big time movie. That would help you for sure. We got to stop with this because it might be giving answers for future questions.

Oh, okay. Come on, Che. We believe in you. Is anything... I don't think we do. No, we don't. We're just trying to pump... Are you going to nail me

on a technicality here? Well, I mean... Sure, give it a shot. I will nail you on this. So let me say abroad. Okay. What is now Russia? Okay.

Soviet Union, USSR. We will not nail you on a technicality. Well, it is... Are you locking in? You could say slash. Oh, shit, but that was the Cold War, right? We're too far inside his brain.

It's scary. I'm afraid we won't be able to get out. I'm terrified now. His brain is like that labyrinth screensaver. Lock that one in. Okay. That's incorrect. And spin the wheel. That's spinning the wheel. They were on our side.

We were teammates. Really? Yes. Che, think of what happened during... What started the war for us? The genocide of the... No. What got us? Oh, shit, Japan.

Yeah. Yeah. And Italy. genocide of the no no what got us oh oh shit japan yeah ah yeah and italy italy yeah italy was i was thinking so like okay okay yeah sorry said russia pearl harbor yeah yeah yeah yeah it's about anything it's crazy i don't watch this a frenchman would actually have known that yes a hundred percent you can't get away by saying i don't watch the History Channel. A Frenchman would actually have known that. Yes, 100%. You can't get away by saying, I don't watch the History Channel. Yeah, that's not a History Channel question. That's just being alive. That was a world war.

I wasn't alive for 40 years after that. You saw Oppenheimer last year, correct? I did, yeah. I should have gotten Japan. Yeah, you should have gotten Japan. I knew Pearl Harbor. I'd been to Pearl Harbor. TJ, take surrender off the wheel because we didn't really have a good idea for that.

It was going to just be him surrendering to someone, but I don't. It's not. Kyle puts him in a submission hold. Yeah. He has to give up. All right, spin it. I really hope we get Minaj and Etwa before this is all over. I think it's a certainty.

Oh. Oh. Go. Go. There it is. Oh. A few glass wine, Chug. Oh, what kind of wine? Red. That's tough.

Riesling? Nope. There's the glass. That's not red wine. Riesling's white, I know. How's the tummy going to feel when you've got to get these shots up? Probably not great. I'm not a very big wine drinker I do like

We do have a Two glasses fast Yeah chug it We won't pour them too high Luckily he has a base of brie And a cigarette His breath is gonna stink Oh this could be fun.

Oh, this will be very fun. Yep. TJ, just start the timer. I think he's going to be good. Yeah, he's in. Steven, are you a wine guy generally? No. We have a membership to Cooper's Hawk,

so I do get wine, but it's chocolate wine. Tastes like a Tootsie Pie. I'd like to ask you about Cooper's Hawk since you brought it up. Every time I go past it, I think that place should be good. Is it just... It is very good. It's a restaurant with a good winery?

Yes, but the food is also great. Do you have to be a member? You can. You don't have to be a member. Every time I try to get a reservation for Gurney, it doesn't have any available. Really? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Uh-oh. yeah okay okay uh oh and uh oh oh no we've hit a snag I didn't cut around I don't think that's that's not it

we are accidentally finding out he's not French at all. You're not cutting it out. You're popping it. Uh-oh. He's going to try to dig it out. While we wait for this, will you do the proper wild read, Scrandon? It could be the rest of the show.

It's a wheel. Oh, it's a wheel. All right, so we'll save that for the end. We'll do the Steven Singer read. Oh, yeah. I can tell you about Steven Singer because personally I hate Steven Singer. Yeah, me too. Everyone loves talking about Steven Singer.

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Boy, I hate Steven. For sure. You're all the time talking about that one. I hate Steven. And? Is the wine coming? Oh! Oh, no! is the wine coming oh oh you could have seen that coming

alright spider bring in the other bottle of wine oh of course there's a backup bottle of wine we only need one bottle of wine this guy can't do shit you saw that coming yeah of course we did. I thought his glasses broke.

Come on. Oh, man, Steven. I know this is a special occasion, but I wouldn't mind him being in a different country every now and then. Yeah, he just can't. Like Italian Che one day? Oh, Steven, Steven, Steven.

What was I doing wrong there? Everything. A lot. I'm a can't-doer of that as well. Yeah, you can. Nah, failed this weekend. That was three minutes and 18 seconds to not get it open. Spider's got another bottle.

How do you think this is going, Steven? A two for five? Yeah. Could be worse. Could be worse. Are you learning anything? Have you learned anything? Yeah.

Yes. Italy fought in World War II. Yep. On our side? Against. Nice. There you go. Do you know the guy?

Who's their bad guy? Is that... Fascism. You got this. Mussolini? Yeah! Who's the Russia bad guy? Well...

A lot. A lot of a lot. Stalin. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah. Does Spider have the other bottle of wine?

Can you still salvage this one? What happened? He broke the corkscrew off into the... He could probably salvage it. Wait, the corkscrew's in that? No, he out it's out you can get it you can restart you can still get it for sure is that a thing yeah there's no rules wine rules for steven che you get one one crack at the wine let's throw it out you got to go in a different spot of the cork oh i'd love steven to just be a sommelier for a day

imagine if we could get him hooked up just having him talk about it now this one is not chocolatey and that's the only wine i know yeah it's a zero on the chocolatey scale I've never seen Drew Brees in New Orleans. It's like that. No chocolate. Yeah, it's a zero on the chocolatey scale. The only scale I have. No notes. The Che chocolate scale.

This is not? You're almost overcorrect, some would say. Yeah. You're deep in there. What's the chocolate wine pair well with? Okay. Anything really that's tasty. Too deep again. We didn't foresee this being the sticking point, did we?

No. There you go. No. Yeah? You just pull it like this? Well, you're twisting it just back out. Yeah, why are you twisting it out? Yeah, use some force.

He's got to give it a nice firm pull. His mustache is falling off. This is a debacle. Just a nice firm pull, and it'll pop right out. Good solid pull. Oh, it's moving a little bit. Yeah, we got some pull. Okay.

Turn it like an oil derrick. Trying to pump it out it's like those videos of those guys in the overalls pull it another hard day it worked pull it just pull it just pull it i'm trying guys you're doing everything but pulling yeah you're not just pull it this is hurting my hand oh no blow on it you're not... Just pull it. This is hurting my hand. Oh, no. Blow on it. Your little delicate French hands. You're getting there?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, no. Now use the tool. How'd you get injured today? They asked me to open a bottle of wine. Possible task. Why are you changing what you were doing?

Yeah. Now you're back to the pump. He's pumping again. Make sure the mustache is secure. Oh, no. He's sharp. Hey! Wee-wee! Wee-wee!

Okay, now chug. All right. Let's do some generous pours. Yeah. So I actually hate drinking out of wine glasses. Oh, why? I drink out of a juice glass. But why?

Because these things are a nightmare to clean. And I've broken several wine glasses. Of course you have. We're just doing our version of dinner for schmucks every single day. That's nice. Yeah, that's good. Pretty big pour. And down she goes.

I have to remove the massage. You don't have to. Yeah, tell us what you smell. What do you got? I honestly haven't looked at it. Is this a 2018?

No I thought he was going to guess red or white Huh? What year? 2021 Close This fucking guy Oh

What happened to the chug, chug, chug. What happened to the chug? Chug, chug. Chug. Here comes number two. Number two. All right, one more, Chad. Last, please.

Wine isn't that chuggable. No. It's real bad. Shardbomb. No chug at all in this thing. Yeah, there is none. Chad, can you do a French accent? Being shardbbed is the worst.

Doesn't slap the bag a time or two, but... Yeah. It's a nice French wine. Okay, down the hatch. Ooh, Brandon! Brandon likes wine. Can't lose with it. Would this be considered a good wine or no?

A great wine. Fine, yeah. It's 2021. The wine we had at Le Bruner Den was actually very, very good. Well, I would hope so. It's one of the best restaurants. You know who had good wine? The best restaurant in the world.

Holy shit. I want to observe you every second of the day. This is just so illuminating. It explains a lot. Everything. Everything. We're just, we're peeling back the onion of Che. This is good that this happened before the menage a trois.

Yeah. You got to lose out for the menage a trois. Okay. All right. Good job a trois. Yeah. You gotta lose out for the menage a trois. Okay. Alright. Good job, Che. Another round completed. Oh. Oh. Let's pop that mustache

back on and continue on our journey. Shall we? Alright. This is what you wanted to be. A little French boy. Mustache. You just covered up your nostrils. Mustache. You got significantly more Chinese. He got more Chinese. He goes so hard. I love you.

Oh, you're the best. All right. All right. Kyle, you have to give this one a pass or a fail. Okay. Che, you have, I guess, as long as you want. Any prop you want out there, explain to Kyle like he's a second grader Pearl Harbor. Any props out there?

Explain the attack on Pearl Harbor. You may begin. Go ahead. Let's put a time on it. Yeah, let's do three minutes. Three minutes. Kyle, go ahead and join him. The search for the props is going to be the best part.

No, do it out on the court. Well, he needs a mic though, right? Oh, yeah, I guess. No, do it out on the court. It's a needs a mic though, right? Oh yeah, I guess. No, do it out on the court. It's a visual thing. This is a visual. Hmm. Oh, he took the dummy.

Okay, here goes Che. That's the number one thing I wouldn't have used. It kind of looks like he's dressed like multiple dummies. He's taking the Dave Portnoy doll. Wait. What? What does he think? Okay.

Okay. Okay. Let's see here. It's interesting that it wasn't. Oh. Oh, no. He's getting unfrenched for this. He can get too unfrenched. I see where on French for this. He's getting on French. Well, I see.

He could get two on French. I see where he might be going. He could be the attackers. Okay. Wait. Oh. It's handballs, of course. Ball?

Another ball? Guy just thinks about ball, man. Okay. Saw a better ball. What is going on in his brain? Head's got to be swimming right now too, right? Yeah. Yeah.

What is he going for here? Target? You got about a minute 45 left. Plenty of time. Plenty of time. Sorry. No problem. Brandon, thank you for telling people I ripped the cords out of the cameras.

I appreciate that. I didn't. Did he say that? When did I say that? People are saying it, and they're not being nice. Guys? Luke, who do you think made... Did you make that highlight tape of yourself?

I swear, it sounds like from the background noise that someone is giving a tour right now. All right, go ahead. And I love the vibe. Does it have to be talking or is it just visual? You can talk. You can talk. Go ahead.

AJ is giving a tour. All right, remember, you are teaching Kyle what happened. Oh, he looks like he's going to puke. He does. That was a heavy burp. And it is filled with

U.S. military. I'll be the Japanese fighter planes who are then coming to bomb Americans on a boat. They're doing more than just bombing. Yes. What's going on in a boat? Alright.

This is incredible. And then they fly away safely. They get home. That's it. All right, I think I get it. All right, put your beret back on. Did he pass? No.

He looks like he had done more. He didn't mention kamikazes. He didn't say why they did it at all. Did he pass? I'm going to give him a fail. Oh, no, he failed. Did he get into enough detail? Not enough detail.

We have no idea why Japan did that. Yeah. Any backstory? Kamikaze planes? Jay, did they just bomb? Oh, he's moving slow. is there a specific ship are there multiple ships what's the big one the main one is it the either the admiral or arizona you said you've been there right yeah, I mean out fucking here Resounding fail it was pretty close Jay go back to your seat. We're Sam's here, so he'll sit your seat

You'll see we'll keep going with the okay, so so we have to spin the wheel Yeah, we do yes spin the wheel why? Yeah, because you got that you felt okay. You failed kamikazes to yeah Sam come on in oh are you spending an hour i'll go back he's gonna do the god are you feeling all right steve uh the wine was the worst goods heavy tummy stuff spin and see what it is come on sit down sam we're live right now uh snail all right so we got some snails that you can eat. You can eat them at your seat. Sam, we're all here. Sam, if you're wondering what we're doing, it's confusing.

I had really bad diarrhea this morning. I'm going to pass. I always have bad diarrhea in this city. Really? Because the food's so fucking good. Yeah. Where'd you eat last night? You ever go to Shaw's Crab House?

Yeah. I love that place. Yeah. I went with Chris to Stephan. We had like five martinis, and he brings his family. Is Chrissy D here? He's here with his family. We should have brought him in.

Yeah, I would like to. He's got a rivalry. He's got a rivalry with us. You guys, yeah, he mentioned you guys. I think it's diminished. It's diminished, but yeah, there was a rivalry. There was beef at some point. You guys should make up. He's a good dude. Yeah, no, he is a good dude. He's got to apologize to us. I'm sure's diminished. It's diminished, but yeah, there was a rivalry. There was beef at some point. You guys should make up.

He's a good dude. Yeah, no, he is a good dude. He's got to apologize to us. I'm sure he will. Fucking coward. So yeah, so Stephen Shay. Stephen, eat your snails. We'll get the gauntlet in a minute.

We'll get the gauntlet later. Eat your snails. So Stephen here, our special boy, he bet against the U.S. in the gold medal game, was rooting for France. So we've made him dress up like a little French boy, and we're getting a citizenship test today, and he's doing horribly. And every time he gets a question wrong, he just had to act out Pearl Harbor. Got that wrong. Couldn't name the beginning of the—

He couldn't name the first three words of the couldn't name the first three words of the constitution of the constitution so he had to drink chug two glasses of wine so that's what's going on right now all right so he's he's mid-test you might be able to relate because you're a big knicks fan right what does that mean that i'm a loser yeah because che is a big knicks fan he was because there are no knicks on the olympic team's rooting against them. No, I'm an American. Right. I was rooting for the Team USA and for Tatum to not play a minute. That's what I was rooting for.

He literally said he had no rooting interest in the game. No, it was awesome. It was fucking old-ass LeBron with gray hair and Tatum. I mean, not Tatum. He didn't play. Durant and Curry. Curry should have been MVP. Yes.

Without question. But that was the best game I've ever seen, the Serbia game. The best game I've ever seen. That's a normal American reaction. I still have shades of the Puerto Rico Carlos Arroyo 2004 loss. I want to kill myself. That game is why I quit smoking weed. Really? I couldn't handle it high. It was like too much. I was like, we're fucking losing to kill myself. That game is why I quit smoking weed. Really? I couldn't handle it high.

It was like too much. I was like, we're fucking losing to Puerto Rico? Yeah. So we root for our country, except for Stephen Che. Actively rooting against. So now he's being punished with a citizenship test. It's more common than it's been in years past, too. I feel like people are proudly being like, fuck America.

I'm like... It's nuts. What are you doing? The whole reason for the Olympics is that we get to flex on everyone. Exactly. The women and the men winning was awesome. And the women slash men. Yeah.

True. Which actually, in a very funny, ironic twist. The reason we beat China. Yeah. Yeah. So if Iman Kilif hadn't won the gold, she fought a Chinese woman. So she had lost China. American hero.

Wow. American hero. By the way, that's the only way you get people on board with trans. It's not even trans, but that's how you get on board. Yeah. It hurt China. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So yeah, Stephen's in the midst of his test. There's his snails. That's snails? So he's got a belly full of wine, brie cheese, and snails. Stephen, are you ready for your next question? Where did you get snails on a Monday morning? I don't know. Yeah.

I sent the text to the team. Mondays are typically tough days to get a hold of them. Yeah. I didn't start these yet, but yeah, go ahead. Oh, actually, I do know. Someone hooked us up. Fuck. I got to shout him out.

We got a snail guy. Yeah, snail guy. The GM at Le Grand Boucherie. I don't know how to pronounce that. Connor. He's a big stoolie, so he helped us out. Are you a snail guy, Chai? Very tasty.

Yeah? Go right in. He's dealt with a snail trailer, too. He tasty. Yeah? Go right in. He's dealt with a snail trailer, too. He knows what's up. Snail with a plastic spoon. All right, so next question. Let's do the next question. All right.

Sam, don't help him at all. He doesn't need help. Well, he does need help, but actually, if you helped him, he probably wouldn't even be able to figure it out. All right, TJ, while he's eating, we can do this one. Let's jump to number nine. TJ you have an email this is identifying women oh there is five women five american you have to name three of the five three three of the five oh no i already know what he's gonna say on one one of them. All right, huh? Yep. Yeah. Come on, Steven.

Dude, that's not Aunt Jemima. Don't you dare. Rosa Parks. Okay. There we go. You got one. Which one? Yeah.

Top, middle. Okay. Parks. Oh. oh uh uh harriet tubman we're at bottom left nope all right keep going betsy ross which one top right no okay Betsy Ross. Which one? Top right? No. Okay. Can I give a hint? Yeah.

One of these women disappeared like the French team in the game. Good hint. The other one has a very popular TV show. Steven? TV show? Oh. Is one of these Caitlyn Jenner? Wait, Che, which one? Who's top left?

Oh, that's incorrect. What the fuck? This guy. What's a TV show? Never mind. What? What did you say? I didn't say anything.

Keep guessing. Oh, I keep going? Yeah. Yeah, I think you should. You're just never going to get them. Yeah. So right now you have Rosa Parks. And these are significant women in American history? Yes.

Like how he rehashed it. Like that would trigger something in his brain. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, American history. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're okay. Is someone Maya Angelou? Yes.

Which one? How? Bottom row for sure. I'm going to guess bottom left. Correct. I was convinced you were going to say that was Oprah Alright one more Right three One more woman

He already has lost Sam gave you a very good clue But I don't know if he even knows that He doesn't even Airplanes Oh Amelia Earhart. Top left? The jacket makes more sense.

Than Bruce Jenner? He said Caitlyn. He did say the woman. Spin the wheel, TJ. You got that wrong. Susan B. Susan B. And bottom right is... Ilhan Omar.

Who is it? A congresswoman right now. I wouldn't have known that. No, I didn't get that one. She's part of the squad, right? Yeah, she's with AOC. Hip, young, up and comer. Oh, he's eating snails.

Oh, snails in her ear. Oh. Okay, snails in our ear. Oh. Okay, full baguette. Stephen, full baguette. How are the snails? Very tasty. Yeah? I have another plate.

Of snail? Yeah, why don't you go to the baguette? Okay. Because you've got to eat the whole thing. Where is that? It should be good to chase the wine and the snails. Yeah. And at the end, Sam, he's got to make four consecutive threes in under two minutes like

Steph did. That was fucking awesome. That was the coolest moment. Damn. Yeah. That was insane. Wait. Hold on.

I want a picture of that. Oh, man. Go ahead. Put it in your mouth again our little french boy so sam would you have a show last night i had one in uh prior lake minnesota two nights ago got it yeah casino gig and you don't have a show tonight nah just stopping by love it well the last time you were here you were in our transitionary office yeah and we told you speaking to caitlin jenner yeah and we were told you we were moving here and uh what do you think pretty cool place this is fucking insane yeah this is

what happens when when dudes get money yeah the court is insane yeah and you're you're gonna try to beat because there's a lot of comedians who have good times Yeah? Yeah, Sam Talent has a very good time For Hidden Threes? No, for The Gauntlet It's cornhole soccer We'll explain it all to you Sam Talent?

I don't look at him and think athletic He dominated Soder, not so much Soder lacks coordination. Yeah, Stavi didn't do it. Yeah. That's a shocker. He and Dave are the only two.

I can't get Stavi to do anything. Antoine Walker refused. Antoine Walker refused, though. Damn, I'm pumped. Let's do it. Did you do any local TV today? I wish. They won't get me on anymore.

People don't know. I don't know I Don't know if we could pull up Okay, if you can find some of Sam's the one that started all was the Pittsburgh Today Live That's when that people really were furious at you know Just years of making me wake up on two hours sleep in a bad mood and then one day I just fucking broke Yeah, and yeah, I think they said something like Like have you have you always been funny and I just was like no when I was young

my uncle molested me and I caught it like Spiderman and she goes okay we don't know what to do with that I remember trying to get the tape because I knew it was going to be a funny moment and I asked the producer can I get that tape

she goes get out. It's like a bank robbery. I need a car waiting for me. I start so pissed when I do it. Is that what happens immediately after you have to leave and it's awkward? Yeah. So you now do this anytime someone lets you on, you just bomb on purpose. Yeah.

It's always so good. If I make it on a show, then I know the producer's done a horrible job. So I'm confused. I'm doing one for Baltimore on Friday. I somehow got on. I have a publicist who books these because I can't. They know. They'll look me up.

But she texts me like, I got you on. I've already upped my Xanax. She hates it because she gets the call. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, of course. I got her in trouble because we did with Gary Veeder. He's on the road with me. We were on a tour bus and I was pretending we were really healthy.

I thought it'd be funny if we were like, oh, let's pretend we're really healthy and then pan to you blowing a line. And it was live on some North Carolina show and they just ended it like a minute and a half in on the spot. And some guy called her like, miss, you'll never be on Good Morning Durham again. And I have to pretend to be upset like, oh, shit. But no, now it's like my friends are like, you're insane. No, it's so good.

I wake up at 7 a.m. to do it, but I like it. It's fun for me. Yeah. Play one of them, TJ. They're so fucking funny. You've always been funny. Like, did you know growing up, hey, I might be a stand-up comedian despite what the odd chart says. No, I wasn't always funny, but, I might be a stand-up comedian despite what the odd chart says?

No, I wasn't always funny, but when I was young, I was molested by an uncle. And that gave me superpowers to be funny because he was funny. So it's kind of like a Spider-Man or a Superman, you know? Okay. I don't know where to go with that. Okay. I love this city. It's a charming city.

It is. And you're a progressive city. You went from moonshine to meth. I'm from here, and that's nothing compared to where you're from, York City. I mean, my goodness, that is quite a different atmosphere. Yeah, a lot more Jews. You guys don't have that many here. Probably.

Okay, so something I found that was interesting about you. Quick segue. He's like, let's get out of here. Probably. Okay, so something I found that was interesting about you. Quick segue. He's like, let's get out of here. One more Jew comment. Your autos are excited today because you're performing at Blue Room Comedy Club this weekend. So tell us what people can expect from your shows there. A lot of Jew jokes. I'm just going to be like, guys, I'm Jewish.

And you'll hear one woman go, ugh. It's a lot of that. That actually happened last time I was here. I said I was a Jewish and a woman, Sig Hale. And I was like, let It's a lot of that. That actually happened last time I was here. I said I was a Jewish and a woman, Sig Hale, and I was like, let's get her out of here. Let's remove her. Yeah. Okay, so this week in your career. I still hooked up with her, but it

was like, you know. Self-proclaimed Emmy winner for best morning TV guest. Samuel posted this joke on Instagram less than 24 hours ago. Talk about what people can expect. I mean, have you been to Columbus before or is this the first time for you? No, I've been. I've been.

I love Columbus. Great city. Big fan of, despite all the human trafficking going on there, I still find a lot of fun. Great city, nonetheless. You've got your class act tour coming to the Southern Theater this Friday, October 27th. Tell us what we can expect with that. I'm going to talk about the human trafficking epidemic in Columbus, Ohio. What is going on with the human trafficking?

What are you talking about? Are you a big sports fan? What's going on with that? I'll tell you what I'm not a fan of is human trafficking. Where are you going with this? There are a lot of news reports. Yes. All right.

Well, listen, Sam, enjoy your time here in Ohio. And the best part was that he spirals at the end. He's just like, he's like, well, I don't know why he kept doing that. Because I sensed it bothered you. Yeah. And I just kept. Yeah. I mean, that was a that was a weird one.

You've seen the case drafts guy. Have you ever seen he did something similar, guy have you ever seen he he did something similar but he would like pretend that he was uh an expert at something so he'd like he'd be like i'm a yo-yo expert and they would have him come on and do tricks and he just wouldn't be able to do it and it would just be like what are you doing i love that yeah i mean they're just they're just fun because it's low stakes and and usually they hate the like i did one in utah and they clearly just hated the guy he was like some mormon guy he's the only ones I did one in Utah and they clearly just hated the guy. He was like some Mormon guy.

The only ones I get on now are if they know I do it and they think it's fun. Right. Or someone who's a terrible producer, as I said. So we're in the green room, Gary and I, and we're just like hanging out. And he's like this big, good looking Mormon guy. He's like, you gonna fuck with me on air?

And I was like, I don't know, maybe. And he's just like, yeah, good luck. Like, I'm gonna fuck with you. And I was like, all right. And then in my head, I'm like, well, it it's your job you can't go as far as I can so I just like kept nudging him over like P Diddy jokes but it just broke and he was like well we're not going to talk about that and I just kept being like anyway my thoughts on P Diddy I just kept going back to it and he was like well you'll never be allowed back here and and the woman was cool she

was like he might be allowed back and I'll you know as i'm leaving all the staff is like taking selfies with me they're like we fucking hate that guy that's awesome so it's like you know it's it's fun for them i think yeah that's incredible but yeah i love doing it it's like but i can't get on them anymore yeah and then i go on some shows like i go on msnbc and they get like she's you know she'll be like don't don't blow this one and I'm like all right and then they just hate me naturally so so I just ruined it being myself you know oh it's so great I hope they keep I hope you find a way to keep going you gotta go you gotta go international I tried the problem is it's like a very American thing yeah like like it's very American to be so fake on TV right I did I also tried to do it in Australia, and they, like, rolled with it, so it wasn't fun. Oh.

Sometimes it's funny when they, but they knew about it. So they were like, they were like Melbourne. They were just like, oh, yeah. And the other one was just like, it was so uncomfortable that it wasn't even funny. Like, I did that in a recent one, too. When it's taped, you can't, but then it's hard to be like, I'll only do live TV, but I did a taped one for ABC. It was supposed to be seven minutes.

And they aired like 45 seconds. Because they were like, none of this worked. And I didn't know it was like a big show. So it was like, it was pretty bad. Oh, that's fucking perfect. I love it. Steven, how's the baguette going? He's doing it.

He's doing it. A lot of bread left. You want to ask the next question, Nick? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's doing it he's doing it a lot of bread left you wanna ask the next question Nick? yeah oh he's struggling his mustache is getting progressively more yeah off

okay Steven you ready for your next question? yeah Steve do you remember sing spelling? oh yes you say the letter you just sing it you have to sing this correctly. Put down the bread. He put down the bread.

Perfect. Sacagawea. All right. Oh, baby. And we will let one letter wrong slide if the singing is good. Maybe like a very deep opera voice. Yeah. You want opera?

Like some figure out. Yeah, we want opera. Like really, really extend the letters. Vibrato. Capital S. So far, so good. A. C. so far so good A C K

you gotta really sing the rest that's the football in them you're still a sack come on now. A. J. A. W.

E. A. Two letters incorrect. Damn. How do you spell it? S-A-C-A-G-A-W-E-A. Jeez. Damn. How do you spell it? S-A-C-A-G-A-W-E-A. Jeez. Wow.

So close. Yeah. That's what sells you. That's his spelling. And that's not right. No, that is not right. G, wow. Oh, there's no K, damn.

No K or no. You swapped the G and J. And how was the singing? That was pretty good. It was a start. A little bit better. I would have liked more of a flow. A little bit nicer.

There was no performance, really, at all. You asked for opera. Well, that's a performance. You didn't really string the letters together. That's's a tough word I gotta think about it all right we'll spin the wheel how many questions you who was second I have I have a few more but we don't believe he's gone so wheels done he's done yeah you know who Did you punch yourself in the face? Oh, yeah, definitely. Oh, no. Yeah, commenter's dreams. Oh, man.

Do you want to give Sam your Chris Tucker? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You might want to bring this on the road with you. Let's see. Just have him open with just this. It's pretty good. Yeah, damn!

That was him. That was better than expected. Yeah, it is. Pretty good. Alright, spin the wheel, Stephen. Let's see. You got a croissant and a menage a trois. There we go. So, Stephen, we have two blow-up dolls, and we'll in a menage a trois. Oh.

There we go. Okay, so, Steven, we have two blow-up dolls, and we'll put them in the middle of the court, and we would like to see what you would do in a menage a trois. Oh, my God. And that sounded way better on the wheel. Yeah. Crazy.

He's thinking about what positions. Okay. Okay. Yeah, what do you start with? Yeah, you got to start. Show us the whole thing. Two completion. Two completion?

Yeah, two completion. Yeah, they have to finish. Yeah. We're going quick nut on this one. Okay, quick nut. Thanks for letting us know. Oh, man. That's a good play. You almost have to go quick nut. You got to go quick nut. Thanks for letting us know. It's a good play. You almost have to go quick nut.

You got to go quick nut. You walked into a weird one, Sam. This is cool. Yeah. I like treating traitors like this. Yeah. I was so mad at him on Saturday because he was just. Was he pro-Serbia too?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was pro-everybody who played there. Some Serbian punishment? He should have done that. A Serbian prison maybe? They got to get him. Treat him like shit. Oh, look Oh yeah. It was probably everybody who played there. Some Serbian punishment. You should have done that. A Serbian prison maybe. They got to get up. Treat like shit.

Oh, look at this. This is going to be. Can we show this? Yeah. Steven also for just. One's a man. I like that. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, it's a man.

That's fine. It's still a menage a trois. I guess that makes it easier, he said. Wait, having a... How? I think he knows which one he's going to fuck now. There's only one position. Well, you got a pleasure boat.

You think there's only one way to fuck a man? You put him in the corner, have him jacking off, and you go down on him. I should replace there's only one way to skin a cat. There's only one way to fuck a man. Steven also... Say, do the Eiffel Tower. It'll be on brand. Claims he's a world-class pussy eater.

Wow. Yeah. He watched a video. Oh, okay. Oh! Oh. Nice! This is so good!

Yes! Oh! Oh! Oh, no! So good. Yes. Yes. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh. Yeah, that's it? You just nutted? Yeah.

Oh, okay. That was awesome. Good. Good job. Great job, Joe. What a moment. That was really good stuff. Oh, man.

He got right to it. I'm going to need that clip. I love how he went for the solo act on the other one. Interracial devil threesome. Yeah. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I'm so happy you bet on France.

This has been fantastic. Did he lose money too? Oh, yeah. Lost a lot of money. He not only bet on France, he had prop bets. One of them was Steph Curry under two and a half threes. Three and a half. Oh, three.

He hit four in the last two minutes. He did. Hell of a performance. Sometimes you just got to tip your beret, you know? Yeah, why France? Is he a Wemby guy or something? No, he bet on Germany, too. I bet on France and Germany.

He bet on everyone except U.S. He just wanted the U.S. to lose. Yeah. Why? Crazy. He said because he's a Knicks guy. Yeah. I'm a Knicks guy.

I know. I'm rooting for the fucking... Jalen Brunson left off the team. He has a broken wrist. Yeah, I was thrilled he was left off the team. Are you kidding? I want him to heal, man. Yeah. Yeah, I was thrilled he was left off the team. Are you kidding? I want him to heal, man. Yeah.

Yeah, that was – it's USA, man. Not for Steven. It's the one time you get to cheer. Right. It's actually the funnest time where all we do is spend our entire lives, if you're a sports fan, like arguing with other sports fans on Twitter, online, in real life. And then once every four years, we all get to root for the same guys.

I love it. And it's the best. And then there's fucking traitors like this right here. I hate it. It's like thinking about TJ Oshie when he took down Russia. That was awesome. All just rooting for the same team. Yeah, and it's just like this was a stacked cast.

Also, Brunson went to play. It was cool that Halliburton and those guys were there. He handled it perfectly. Yeah. That tweet was a stack cast also what brunson went to play it was it was cool that like haliburton those guys were there but like he handled it perfectly yeah that tweet was yeah plus yeah he's yeah he's i still don't like him but it was cool yeah he he he knew how to handle i want that wwe brunson haliburton beef to yeah keep going that was pretty awesome that is fun then pacers will probably fall off. I hope. All right, last question? Yeah.

Che, come out here to the gym. Where you just nutted? Just fucked, yeah. Yeah, quick nut. Brandon, you're the judge on this one. It's art class. Okay. It's going to be awkward for him to be out there with the two people he just fucked.

Okay. Is this pass-fail as well? This could be pass-fail as well, yes. Go to the far side to one of those desks because you can't see the map. He has to draw states. He has to draw states. Brandon, you have to say if it's good enough. Okay. How many states?

Four. Okay. How many states? Four. Okay. All right, Che, can you hear me? I'm going to say a state and you draw it. Texas. Okay, he's got Texas. And we had to move him out of this room because we have a map right here. Sam, if you can see, we have another guy who is tasked with collecting a purple hat from every state in the country.

Why purple? It's hard to get a purple hat. So we have videos of him just going up to random people asking if he can buy the purple hat off their head. It's going well. Purple Yak hat's coming soon. Yeah, purple Yak hat's coming soon. All right, here's Texas. Purple Yakats coming soon. Yeah, Purple Yakats coming soon. Alright, here's Texas.

You gotta show the camera, Brandon. Looks kind of like a bird. You gotta show a camera. Where's the camera? I don't know. Keep walking forward. Right here? Yep. That's a pass.

He hit the main points. That's a pass. He hit the main points. That's a pass. It's Brandon's call. If it's a pass, it's barely a pass. If you show that to somebody, what state is this? We're going to pass that. We're going to pass that. Okay.

What's the next state? Che, your next state is Alaska. Alaska. Oh, this is tough for him. That's a tougher one. Yeah. Yeah. And he's not very smart.

There's Alaska. I don't think he's going to get Alaska. So where's the next stop, Sam? I'm in Baltimore this week, and I'm trying to write a new hour, man. My new shit sucks. It's hard when you're promoting shows and you're like, this fucking sucks. But I'm just trying to. You've got to build back up.

It's the name of the game. What the fuck? Listen, it's bad, but I think most people aren't going to come close. No, I think that's not horrible. That's more Mississippi. Yeah, Mississippi. I think this is better than the Texas. See the little peninsula?

It's thick. Yeah, I would never. Your call. I'm passing that one, too. Okay. Wow. Wow. Lenient.

Last one. Two more, right? Two more. We do last one. No, no, too. Okay. Wow. Wow. Lenient. Last one. Two more, right? Two more. We do last one. No, no. Two more. Two more. West Virginia.

West Virginia. No one can do this. Are you sure y'all saw Texas right? He nailed the panhandles. Yeah, that's stick out points. By the way. That's a plane. That's a fighter plane.

We didn't even talk about, Nick, the fact that you almost died in the brawl. I got my knee rolled up. Got tangled up. Can we watch the brawl? I went down. We had our rough and rowdy on Friday night, Sam. Yeah. Where it's just dudes fighting, and we call it.

It's awesome. But there was a full-on brawl after the last fight. Like cops in the ring and stuff. Why? One of them got shoved in the back. We can show you the video And Nick was just stuck in the middle of it This is West Virginia

Easy fail And he put WV I don't know what that is Maybe it's Virginia if it's upside down Yeah Okay You gotta get this last one You gotta get the last one, Shay Brandon, you've got to get this last one. You've got to get the last one, Shea.

He's just throwing a football. Brandon, you're the judge because the next one is Mississippi. Mississippi. Oh. Mikey Betts. Watch this. Mikey Betts. They're both talking to me.

I don't know what they're talking to me for. They're talking to Dave and Dan now. What do you think we have to do with this? Wow. He's throwing shit at us. What is this? Oh, we got a brawl. Oh, we got a brawl.

We got a full brawl. Brawl in the ring. It's so awesome. This is Khabib McGregor. This is Khabib McGregor. Nick, look at Nick. Nick almost got his leg taken out. Holy shit.

This is incredible. We got cops in the ring. Oh, no, the Abel brothers are getting arrested. Of course they are. Frank is trying to get in the ring. Get him out. He's getting out. Nick, you almost got dead.

I know. I know what ended me. Who were they going for first? Who was the first? One of them got pushed, and then he just turned around and – Started swinging. Started swinging hard. I watched that like four times, and I was like, I have no idea who.

I think someone has a reverse – someone has an in-person angle. I'll send you, TJ. Did anything else come out of that? No. Yeah. Dick, all time moment to be stuck in that costume. Felt pretty cool.

Alright, Mississippi. It's also 100% easily failed. Easy fail? Anybody see it? Oh yeah, you didn't even try. That's not... It's like Nevada. I thought that's what it looked like in fairness.

No. I wasn't trying to – Some of the lines, right? There's nooks and crannies. There's a shape to it. This is just a blob. All right, so eat the croissant, Steven. All you have to do is have a croissant.

You've got to score your points. And then we'll have you shoot the threes after Sam does the gauntlet. Che, if you could go back, would you still root for France? Where'd he go? Where the fuck did he go? We lost Che. He's got a belly full of French food

and there he goes. He got to drink wine, eat snails, and fuck a post office. Yeah, he got a nut. Che, would you still bet for France, given everything that's happened? Oh, no. Including the after stuff? Yeah.

It's fun. It's fun. I like sports gambling. Damn it. He didn't learn anything. You thought he'd start taking damage now? No, I thought maybe he would regret it and we could get a little moment of him being like, oh, I regret it. This man all. You thought he'd start taking damage now? No, I just thought maybe he would regret it, and we could get a little moment of him being like, oh, I regret it. This man has zero regrets in his entire life.

It was fun watching Steph Curry go nuts, so that was cool. You could have watched him go nuts while rooting for him. Yeah, imagine having money on Steph Curry in that moment. Imagine having the over three and a half, and he goes in the last minute. Well, he already had four. He hit eight threes. Did you bet against the women, too? I didn't.

I wish I didn't. See, he didn't learn anything. The fuck? This guy's stupid. If I bet him spread, he would have won, though. Yeah, he would have won that. Did Noah Lyles somehow come out of the Olympics as a loser? Yeah, he's hater of the year.

That has to be the hardest feat to accomplish him not understanding that of course anthony edwards is more popular than him like how is jealousy his downfall i think he got that feat honestly i think he got cut from a basketball team at some point it has to be the only answer right yeah yeah no one gives a shit about track no every four years we care that he like he's the fastest man in the world he should come out on top and but he didn't because he just he talks too much right it's a good lesson to shut the fuck up all of us who speak for a living uh yeah it's a good lesson but no truly less is more if you're in a like if we never hear michael phelps talk. No. He never speaks.

No. And everyone loves him. Yeah. But I bet if he talked, we'd be like, this guy's fucking weird. It's such a cheat code to be liked. Did he feign having COVID? Who? Oh, he-

Miles? I think he technically did, but then I also saw the- Then he didn't? Yeah, and then he had the clip of him running before, whooping up the crowd. And then he's like, yeah, I had COVID. And he got taken off in yeah, I had COVID. And he got taken off in a wheelchair because of COVID. And then video came out of him partying his ass off.

Yeah. Like just today or something. So hated. And none of the hate is racism. No. Wow. No. We've come a long way in this country.

That's got to suck for him. Yeah, he can't. Ant is like the most likable. Right. If you shit on like Rudy Gobert or something, maybe you got a case, but it's this whole like weird. Also, though, he did say it's like everyone's like, well, you're proven wrong now. I was like, no, he said NBA champs, you shouldn't be world champs,

which I think that's fair. Oh, I don't think that's fair. But now we are world champs. Yeah, we're both. Yeah. But I think that if you took the NBA champion and played them right after they won the championship against a collection of another team, I think they would still win. Probably.

They would, but they haven't done that. Do you think... They could. We should do that for the Olympics. It would be fucking awesome if they did. Do you think the Celtics would have done better than Team USA? I actually kind of do. Because they...

I do They play together Yeah they play together Yeah but you don't get Porzingis Yeah true That part hurt I saw that take somewhere I think playing together

Helps immensely Yeah well that's what these guys all Maybe not The chemistry on the other teams We're just better players in the US Yeah Like the chemistry Unlike Serbia

Jokic is fucking incredible Right They all just don't miss And he gets some open looks I think it'd be closer than people players in the U.S. Yeah. But, like, the chemistry on, like, Serbia, Jokic is fucking incredible. Right. They all just don't miss, and he gets some open looks. I think it'd be closer than people think just because of, like, playing together. Yeah. You don't think so, Titus? No, I don't.

I don't. At all? The United States would win, yeah. I mean, like, what are you talking, like, the United States shows up for camp, and then they play, like, the next week? No. Yeah. I'm saying, yeah. You give the U.S.

You drop the U.s you drop the usa you assemble everyone that was on the usa roster we do have a celtics paradox though because drew holiday and derrick white and jason are on the team so i don't know how this would even work like a video game i guess you just let's assume that they get the full training camp the full practice the full they would beat the fuck out of this no no but not like say would the celtics perform better against like Serbia or France? That's where I'm kind of like maybe. Like if they were on the same timeline, like right after the finals are over, they just go to the Olympics?

Yeah. Yeah, like they were. Yeah, maybe if they had the whole year to play together. Yeah, they're playing together all year, and then we send our NBA champ to the Olympics. Yeah, yeah, then I guess I see that. Yeah, because that Serbian team, those guys play together, they're not even close to as talented as us. You think Peyton Pritchard off the bench is better than Kevin Durant?

That's what I don't know. That's the take? That's where it kind of falls apart, yeah. I do think playing together helps. With the Celtics playing together, better. Yeah. With the Celtics have won gold, I think they would have. But at a certain point, talent.

Yeah, of course. Look at the Miami Heat. Wade and Braun don't really make sense together, but they're fucking incredible, and that's why they won two. Yeah. I think the Celtics fans are also the only people that would make that argument. I think if we were coming off. I don't think the Celtics would beat the Team USA.

I think they would win the gold, though. There's something unique about Celtics fans that have that argument. Well, Dave rooted against US. There's no one else that if the Miami Heat had just won the NBA championship, Miami Heat fans would not be like, we should have sent the Heat.

Because they lack passion, and they're fucking terrible fans. I was in Miami two weeks ago, and i was like they were like fuck the knicks i was like you're literally the worst fans in the in the game miami you show up in the second quarter coked up and fucking late and then you leave midway through the fourth they're it's facts they put the worst fans are the worst people that's an even better take true yeah i'm not playing there for another year and a half. Fuck them. No, Miami's a fun city, but yeah, it's not a good sports.

I mean, that arena is kind of whack, too. Yeah. And whenever they put someone on the big screen there, like if it's New York or L.A., you know who that is. They put someone on the screen there, you're like, who the fuck is that guy? And then you look him up, he's like some fucking salsa singer with 250 million followers you know all you have to say about is they they have jordan's number retired in in miami yes right that's the biggest cuck move of all time it's a cuck move that's insane what does that mean they have jordan's

number retired in the rafters in the rafters you never played there right no is it a bulls jersey i i i don't know. You can find a picture, TJ. I think it's just 23. That's why LeBron had to wear six when he went to Miami. Oh. It's insane. That's an insane cuff.

It's because they love him that much. It's crazy. I think they anticipated the whole league doing that, like the NHL did. Yeah, like Jackie Robinson, yeah. And then no one else. They jumped first and no one else jumped. No one followed. You gotta undo that.

That's so embarrassing. You retired Jackie Robinson because he broke barriers. You retired Jordan because you're like, he fucking nutted my mouth every time he played. It's a different thing.

Yeah. Like, I thought it was cool that the MLB retired him. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, that's fucking insane. Is that a half wizard? Half wizard, yeah. Oh, that's so bad. So bad. At least just that the MLB Yeah there it is Tired him you know Yeah that's fucking insane Is that a half wizard? Half wizard yeah That's so weird

That's so bad So bad At least just do the bowls Yeah Get the wizards part out of there Insane That's funny Yeah I'm not a fan

Miami sport I guess they're hardcore for the Dolphins But basketball fans they suck Do they support the Marlins at all? The Marlins No No Yeah

By the way, that reminded me that we got the best gift ever on Friday. Oh, yeah. That's sick. Jim Marseille sent us the 2014 AFC finalist banner from the Colts Stadium. So we have that now, and we're going to prominently display it in the office.

It's a doozy. It's crazy. It's massive. The fact that he sent that to us is nuts. What's the square footage on that? It's a doozy. It's crazy. It's so big. The fact that he sent that to us is nuts. What's the square footage on that? It's enormous. Like half the length or the width of the court. And they hung that for years.

They hung it for a while, yeah. That's a crazy cuck move too. What did they... Look at this. Sent it to us. The real deal. What did they actually win? They won the division that year? That was the deflating game. They won the division that year? They won nothing. That was the

deflating game. They just made the championship game. But they didn't win their division. So what, like why did they hang that? No idea. Finals. Because haven't they made the they've been finals before. They've won a Super Bowl. But what was it about that? That was the deflating year? Was that what they thought? Yeah.

No, I don't know. Is it like a fuck you to New England? I don't know. Finalists. What a bizarre decision that yeah i thought no i don't know is it like a fuck you to new england what a bizarre decision though but we have it what a bizarre move is that getting hung up yeah oh yeah we're in the anus studio okay yeah the whole thing yeah there was one college team who had like nit elite eight yeah there are some weird banners out there. Indiana doesn't have a lot of wins in that state. Yeah, look at that. That's a tough state. People were mentioning his signature is interesting.

I thought it was perfectly fine. But yeah, he sent it to us. All right, Sam, you ready to do the gauntlet? Yeah, what do I do? Do we want someone else to do it first to show him? Yeah. So why don't you spin it, TJ? Connor Griffins filling in for Malasek said,

there is zero chance Sam scores on the first half. Oh, I'm wearing fucking show shoes here. I got my dirty shoes. Oh, your show shoes. Well, I got the dirty shoes, the show shoes. You want to look presentable, but I'm going to be bad. Do the high noon ad read well. TJ pulls up the wheel to see who's going to do the gauntlet.

High Noon. I don't have the paper. Is it a pool pack? It is. It is a pool pack. A delicious, delicious pool pack. Only here for the summer, so get it while you can. It has a bunch of delicious flavors

like guava and passion fruit. Kiwi. It's lime. Lime, peach. of delicious flavors like guava. Yes. And passion fruit. Kiwi. Kiwi. And it's lime. Lime, peach. Get it while it's here. It is not here for the entire summer.

So go to drizzly.com or drink high noon. I would say highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. I like the real juice and the real vodka. Yes. And I like that it only has 100 calories and it's gluten-free with no sugar. Fantastic. Yeah. Thanks, Katie.

Delicious. You're welcome. I read it every day and I don't have a lick of it memorized. You did it off Dome last week. I know. I was on Adderall. That helps. All right.

So someone will do it for you, Sam, to show you. It's very easy. It's a combination of all these events we have, and then you have to do Sporkle to end, which that will be the part that you need to see. All right, go ahead, TJ. KB. No, me.

KB. KB. Kyle. KB. Kyle. All right, KB. Get up there. All right, so you start with one. You got to get one cornhole. Kyle. KB. Kyle. All right, KB. Get up there.

All right, so you start with one. You've got to get one cornhole. Okay. And you've got to score a goal. Then you have to hit a home run. And then you have to hit the high noon bottle over with a football. All those bottles on the far wall. You have to get your own rebound on that.

Then three-pointer, three-pointer, then sparkle. then sparkle two three-pointers yep on each side okay so uh and we've got no matter what you do you probably be faster than cam newton so that will be good did he suck yeah we had to have him stop doing the football yeah it was getting really bad he sucked at football yeah that's fucking crazy yeah all right we've had a bunch of athletes do it. Who had a good athlete time? Greg Olson was awesome. I could see that. Here's the list.

Yeah. Glasses? I don't. Use Stevens. Arian Foster. Yeah. Sam Talent was two minutes, 30 seconds. I 36 i'm impressed sam allen his book is fucking incredible i don't know if you read that yeah i loved it yeah he's a man but i'm i i did not

see him as as an athlete so i'm impressed yeah we had a bunch of tigers bunch of orioles do it uh edelman you're former i want to do better than Julian Julio Francis Joey Avery Gunnar Henderson You'll be alright You'll be fine Damn Sam Talent did better than Julian Edelman

Yeah Soder there's Soder Four minutes nine seconds I've hooped with a lot of comics I've never hooped with Soder But he was a football kid growing up right Yeah seconds i've hooped with a lot of comics i've never hooped with soda i've heard i've heard he's he but he was a football kid growing up right yeah cam 456 that's that's crazy sketch tommy pope 544 he got mad he was mad he did get mad he was really mad was he mad. He did get mad. He was really mad. Was he mad before he did it though?

He's always mad. I think he's resting. Yeah, he's always mad. Angry Philly Italian. Yeah. Angry people. A little anger to him. All right, ready, KB? All right, here we go.

Hold on. Jay looks not well. All right, three, two. Yeah, he looks so much better. He looks like he's about to cry. Three, two. Yeah, he looks so much better. He looks like he's about to cry. Three, two, one, go. All right, KB's up. You just got to get one of these.

There you go, KB. Very impressive. For the record. Our usual goalie's not there, so that should be a little easier. Our usual goalie's a real son of a bitch. So now you can score from anywhere if you miss the first three. There it is. Did you guys see KB's fart shot on the peak?

Yes. So good. All right, home run. That's just above this studio is a home run. So really don't have to swing that hard. Let's go, Kyle. Kyle. Really good time so far.

He's crushing. Oh! Oh! You're Let's go, Kyle. Kyle. Really good time so far. He's crushing. Oh! You're at 40 seconds, Kyle. I can't see from here. The three-pointer's going to be tough for him. There we go. Oh, there he is. Kyle. Oh,

we're in front of the camera. The camera's not really where it should be. Oh, there it is. Yes. You're caught. You're at a minute. You're at a minute. I'm at a minute.

All right. Do you need help reading? Break it down. Four college football teams' names that are not an animal, no color, or letter S. Talking to Mike. Throw him a mic. Four main strokes. Franton.

So you just got to get ten of these. Two Cs. Two Cs. Pawnee. Meats and cheeses in an Italian pub. Kane. Abel. Seth.

Yes. Four strokes of swimming. Freestyle. Butterfly. Back. Backfly. Back. Backstroke. Yeah. Eight countries to border Austria.

Ham. I don't know what. Turkey. Salami. Bang. Bang. Did it. 148.

Hell yes. I'm intimidated. Yeah. That's a really good time. Good shit, Kyle. Yeah. That's top five. That's third really good time. Good shit, Kyle. Yeah. That's top five. That's third, isn't it?

Kyle. Third? What a time, Kyle. Third behind you and Dan? I think it might be. Yeah, you start with cornhole. Brandon will walk you through it as you go. All right, starting here.

All right. We're floating out there. Yeah, that was sick, Kyle. Easy sport. There were no kamikazes at Pearl Harbor, I found out. What? That's surprising as well. So I think he might have done.

So now he's got to throw up the baguette. He has to give up the baguette. I guess I'll have a cigarette as punishment. He does look like he's in a lot of pain. KB. Oh, if I had that brie cheese Chugged wine Are you supposed to have the rind

He ate some of the He ate a lot of it It's so thick I know sometimes you can put it like It was all worth it just for him Having the threesome With a belly full of wine. He was doing short thrusts.

Yeah. He was a short thrust fuck. Very quick. Then he went for the face fuck. Yeah. Also, a weird idea to, you have to lock eyes with the man. He was locking eyes with the man. Yeah, he was.

The whole time. The woman didn't matter for that. Yeah. It was kind of hot when he. Yeah, I would have turned the man around and have the man get his ass... When he lifted the leg. I agree. I agree.

Yep. He's done that before. All right, Sam, you ready? All right, here we go. One sec. All right. Three, two, one, go. You got it. Uh- two, one, go. You got it.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. There we go. There it is. Oh, laser.

Oh, nice kick. That's in. That's in. That's in. That's in. Count it. Count it. Count it Count it

This could be This could be a problem Oh What song is this? I know this song. It's called Foggy Doo on APA. Oh, yeah, I knew it was an old song. Oh, right back at us.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. When do we go mercy? Oh, there it is. Football, no. When do we go mercy? Oh, there it is. Football, football. There. Oh.

I think he's good at basketball. I'm hoping. Keep going, Keep going. Keep going. Still a good time. Old Sam's time. Talent. Oh.

Oh. I think Sam's time was like 238, 240. Oh, so close. There it is. Here we go. Oh. The first shot is always an air ball. And the second.

Third usually hits front rim. Fourth he hits. Yup. Yeah. That's why you're number one. He was hitting it before he came in here. Before the show started. Oh, no.

Starting to get tired. The legs. The legs are going. Here we go. Come on. Oh, no. It's got to be the show shoes. It's the show shoes. Following through. Show shoes. Here we go Come on Oh no It's gotta be the show shoes It's the show shoes

Following through Show shoes Following through There it is Alright sit right here Sit right here Under three minutes Alright

I can't see Okay Ah fuck Six NWNBA teams in Eastern Conference Liberty Yeah Length No I don't know No Six WNBA teams in the Eastern Conference. Liberty. Yeah. Length.

I don't know. What animal killed Steve Irwin? Stingray. There we go. Two types of beer, black and tan. Five scoring plays in the NFL. That's easy. Slant.

No, no, scoring plays. Oh, field goal. Yeah. Touchdown, extra point, safety. Shit. Jobs of the village people. That band. What were their occupations?

TJ can't spell safety. I don't fucking know. That's great. Nine states' most only fan creators per 100k residents? New York. Texas. I don't know. Seven original company names. What was X called?

Village people. What the fuck are they? Cop? Do the original company names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it. Policeman. Fireman.

Do the original company names. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. Policeman, fireman. Do the original company names. You see that one? X. Where's that? Seven original names for following company. Bottom, middle. Oh, shit. X, Duncan.

Oh, Twitter. There you go. I don't fucking know. PepsiCo? Is it just that or what? Nope. Nope. Nope. Oh, man.

Two more. What? Oh, two types of beer layered in black and tan? What did he say? Yeah. Guinness. He said Guinness. Not.

Yeah, stay. One more. Lager? No. Yingling? Oh, no? Fuck. Another state. Trashy state.

Salt and pepper. Alright. No. Go ahead. Sit back down. We'll look where you are. Here, sit back in your seat. Oh, no.

And four. Oh, no. That was insult to injury. Yeah, not good. 431, but I think you might have beaten Cam Newton. Did he beat Edelman? He might have beaten Edelman. That's all you wanted to do.

I want to retry when I come back on. Okay. Let's see. Let's see. Where's Jules? There's a whole other page. Oh, yeah. Right above Cam. Where's Jules? I don't

know. Ah, shit. Fuck. You did beat Cam Newton, though. I'll take it. That's huge. Yeah. Get you moving, huh? My legs are cooked. I'm a little hungover, and I had diarrhea, but no excuses. No excuses. No excuses.

I deserved it. All right, last two things. We got the proper wild. We have to do a wheel for one of us to take a shot. Oh, it is the wheel. All right. Deliciously juicy energy shots and energy gummies deliver the perfect boost whenever you need to wake up and stay fun. No weird ingredients, just good, clean caffeine.

Best-selling flavors are peach, mango, strawberry, kiwi, and blackberry. Four to six hours of energy, five times more caffeine than a shot of espresso, and 15 times more I- theanine than a cup of green tea. Use code WILD for 30% off at properwild.com. Use code WILD. Has anyone gotten into matcha? Yeah. I'm thinking about making the transition. Oh, look at this.

I didn't even know you were a coffee guy. This is cool. There was that real trendy place around the corner from the first New York office had lines around the block for a while hey we're dry somebody's gonna take one take a shot shot there you go is that booze energy shit today Jesus that's the light yeah it's not me it's true yeah it's totally light Sam thank you it's the light. It's not me. Yeah, it's totally the light. Well, Sam, thank you. I'm still mad at myself. Yeah.

I'm coming back for that gauntlet next time. Are you in town tomorrow? No, I'm leaving today. Damn it. Fuck. Yeah. It's brutal. You'll be thinking about that all night.

That is a good way to get people to come back to the office. Yeah. Every time Sam comes through Chicago, he just wants to come in and take a crack at the gauntlet. Even if I'm not in the show, I'm fine. I'm doing the gauntlet. Yeah. It's perfect that we fake that Sam Talent time.

Yeah. Gets all the comedians going, that guy? What the fuck? Stavros got a 130? Yeah, we need Stavros to do it. I remember I was just like, you want to do the gauntlet? And he was just in his full tracks. He's like, nah.

More people should reject the offer. Yeah. Why? It shows just doing it. It shows that you're down for anything. So many people come out just distraught. Yeah, but it's more important to play the game. You got to play the game.

You got to play the game. Yeah, how many people have we had do it that have enjoyed enjoyed it they're like hell it's like 10 percent about myself friend what did you gain from this motivation for next time okay okay fuel add it to the fire get better um okay i'm out tomorrow but i'm back the rest of the week i guarantee i'll beat edelman's score next time I'm here. There we go. There we go. Throws it on. You're going to give a Tebow speech.

Yeah, dude. No one's going to train harder. I'm not going to get pussy until I'm back here. I will put the rest of my life on hold. Oh, we have to have Stephen Chay try to hit the three. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephen, you ready? Two minutes.

Two minutes. You got to hit four in a row. Yeah, back and forth. Again, if you don't You have to either not shower for the rest of the week Or watch a French movie Every night this week And give a review

If you can find them There's four in a row There's a lot of good French movies That's not a punishment No subtitles It was two minutes In like three seconds That's a lot of good French movies. That's not a punishment. No subtitles. No subtitles. It was two minutes in like three seconds. You wouldn't know because you're rooting for France.

It was 245. Yeah. Should we let him shoot on the same side? I kind of want to see him run a little bit. That's impossible. Okay, fine. He can shoot on the same side. Steph shot on the same side.

That's true. Maybe he has to go to the half court and back. You got to go play defense. Steph shot on the same side. That's true. Maybe he has to go to the half court and back. You gotta go play defense. No, you gotta go half court and back. Shoot. After makes? Yeah. After makes.

There's no way he does this, right? I think he can do it. He's not a bad shooter. Four in a row? Four in a row is tough. It's unlikely, but it's possible. Give him 215. I'd love to see him win. I would not. I saw unlikely, but it's possible. Give him 215. I'd love to see him win. I would not.

I saw you, Nick. If he does this, he will somehow try to convince us that he was right by cheering for France. I saw Nick in that picture of us with Brandon. Smirking? Cheesing. Well, no. So, it's a live photo that was sent to us. I looked at Che smiling and thumbs-upping when you said,

nobody smile, and it made me smile. Yeah, because only Che would do that. All right, Steven, you ready? 2-15. Oh, he's still got the burps. All right, ready, set, go. One. Oh, go, run to half court.

Oh. Deep. One. Oh, go. Run to half court. Two. Titus, I'm afraid that you are correct here. You can do this. Three. Slight work. Don't miss this one. Don't miss it.

Stop. Come on. Oh, no. He's a man. All of this. He always wins. He just shit on us. He's a fucking shit on us. He always wins.

Oh, my God. Steve. This fucking guy. Oh, man. We can never keep him down for long. That was fucking awesome. Oh, man. Win Steven Che. How do you say?

Oh, Jesus. He always does it. That was impressive. It really was. Thank you. This is what he does. He does not take damage. He's a person. I don't know if you have anyone like that in life, but you could tell him he's wrong and he's just like,

all right, we, we disagree. And like he does, it just does never, never stays down. It's maddening. I do declare.

Yeah. Yeah. That was one of his, uh, for the first three words of the constitution. He thought it was, I do declare. Foghorn.

Yeah. All right, Sam. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it. Uh, all right. See everyone. Foghorn Legman Yeah Alright Sam Thank you Yeah Thanks Appreciate it Alright See everyone

Please subscribe Piss about that gauntlet dude I'll be back And I'm wearing A basketball shoe Get your straws, yeah, style and stay for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop

Or do a Yankee swap It's the act It's the act Wee wee wee Let's have a good week everybody Love you bye