The Yak - We Came Up With One Our Wildest Ideas Yet | The Yak 8-15-23

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Cheah saved a lifeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Thank you. Yo, TJ, hold that up. You felt shunned in the past few days? Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Slowly but surely. Yeah. I'm sure there's no reason. I'm sure there's no reason.

I'm sure there's no reason at all. There he is. Wow. You're icing us. What's going on? They all wait, boy. We can't start without your hosting. Oh, we started? Oh, yeah.

We started. Welcome to the yak. I miss my fucking dogs in here bro dude vice versa i fucking miss you guys were you hosting a rap battle in roback clothing i hosted a pay-per-view wearing exclusively roback i was dripped out and people kept on fucking rapping about it yeah like is that a throwback roback yeah? And I was like, are you going to get blowback from the rowback? Wow. None.

Yeah, and I didn't get any because it's so nice. I haven't gotten any complaints. No. People like it. People actually reinvest and they order more rowback, and it's damn impressive. Rowback.com, Q-Zips, hoodies, joggers, and all that. And all that. And all that. Code Y that. And all that.

Code YAK, 20% off. Code YAK, 20% off, roadback.com. Through the end of this week, get it now. You never know when that deal is going to dry up. You might as well pounce on it now. And we got our own shit. I'm wearing some of it. I'm wearing some Barstool stuff, but also the Yak stuff is brazy.

That stuff, I mean, it just looks so good on you, Nick. It looks so good on you. Hey, what are you rocking? Yeah, Che, you're just walking. That's like a, come on, push the home team. I mean, we're all one team. Barstool sports. No.

I don't feel like it anymore. No. Not quite. I just got out of a writer's meeting that i had to move i had to leave i know get out of there nick we're having a writer's meeting what happened with what i i wasn't here yesterday now there's new york presidents going on what's what's happening well the new york presidents is like i can explain that that's like uh people are like what are you gonna do when the act's over

like you're gonna do a daily show and um this is like kind of new i'm i'm gonna focus on son of a boy dad focus on pat bev pod i also want to focus on making video content do enough but no but i mean i just need something to do every day i'm like a fucking worker dog you know what i mean like i'll get depressed if i don't have a job or some shit to do so i like this is something i've been working on for months but uh doing intentional videos around the office that are like about barstool and using kind of the stool scenes world to make stuff that's intentional and fun and on purpose and i think that's sometimes in stool scenes they just kind of stumble in and they're like, okay, I hope something cool happens this week. That's a good idea.

Sometimes I think if there's a cohesive idea that you could put at the title of a video, you could kind of maximize what a video can do and what it can be about. And it's like videos like, we're doing an election in New York. I think that that's just funny. And that's what this meeting was about today.

And this is something that we're periodically going to do. It's something I've been working with Logan for a while, and now it's just like people have ideas. I want to help people make their ideas, like kind of the way that we did the smoke show, but on a grander scale for all of Barstool, just funny ideas. And I would have loved your input, but someone probably told you you had to go away yeah it's getting tribal dude i don't i don't i don't like that i'll be honest with you i do not enjoy it my parents fought enough when i was growing up where it's like don't need it anymore don't need to like try and balance relationships with people

i don't know what do you think i think you know once the dust settles, we'll just be podcasting like always. Like always. Now I think people are trying to lean into the chaos and drama, but I think everyone will get back to normal. Groupthink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I'm worried. Why? About lifelong rivals.

Yeah, I know. It's no fun and games. Idols become rivals. Yeah, I know. It's no fun and games. Idols become rivals. Arsenal idols. It just, yeah, I don't know. I think, and everybody's like, it's not going to do, that's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.

It's like, yeah, I'm still here for like, well, me and Kyle were here for two weeks, but shunned. I know, doesn't it? I even like was watching some of the yak yesterday and i just felt like i felt like you guys felt like weird someone yeah someone just walked past me on the street and just nothing someone that you work with one that works yeah i don't want to throw them under the bus but there's not a 100 chance they saw me and i was walk right past and it's

not like we're not abandoning. We had four years to work together. It's not like you're going to beat their ear off in a conversation either. It's not like they have to avoid you because you're going to trap them in a conversation or some shit like that. I've never done that in my life. The vibes are malicious.

Erica just came up to me. Erica just asked me if I've been lifting. I was waiting to go on. I thought she was going to say like lifting, high twos for reps. You just said lifting in general. Well, yeah.

She's noticing, though, it's a reinvested interest in barstool from everybody, it seems. But I think that, you know... Phil, you kind of thrive in these situations. In what situations? I think he thrives in the fake ones. I know, but that's what you do.

You combat that with pure mockery and sarcasm to the point where they feel, oh, this is silly. It is silly. it's very silly it is silly i'm without a home i've been displaced i can't sit over there i went to the side room they're soundproofing it i had to leave there so i was pacing all morning yeah that's so fucked because it was like so the meeting that we had today was literally just everybody like go around

it's like what video ideas do you have? And everybody can just spit out their ideas, and we'll go through them democratically and be like, okay, this seems like a fun one that we could make that would – there's a reason people would click on it. You could do the whole thing. That's a meeting you would be good at. That's a meeting that we could – I want to help more with Out of Order. I wrote one with Owen yesterday. We want to do like a – I would like to do a more regular Out of Order. I wrote one with Owen yesterday. We want to do like a, I would like to do a more regular boys story.

Fire. That would be fire. But, I don't know. Yeah. I'm not allowed. No, you're allowed. You're allowed. Rone, fuck yourself.

No, at that point, if I'm having a meeting, you're allowed at it. And that's the point of these meetings is anybody who wants to do this shit should come to the meeting. And if you don't come to the meeting, you don't get to be a part of whatever we're making. And if you want to come to the meeting and have, like, your ideas, like, everybody is invited. That's the fucking point of it. You've made a forever enemy now.

Fuck! I can't have you on the other side. Your mind is too powerful. I listen to the kyle with me man in his mind too powerful bro and his body's have you been lifting dude i could tell what do you think it was that she saw or did she head to toe you i was wearing my medium shirt tight fit what size is that this is an xl but you know yeah you always wear a bigger size crew neck. Have you seen that humongous guy that wears like, he wears shit like that. He's like, he used to be a diver in college, Sam Sulik, and he does so many steroids now,

like he can't breathe. Yes, I've seen him. He looks fake. He's actually a cool dude, which is a shame. Yeah, he seems really cool. His voice is like relaxing, but his chest acne has to be the most painful. You can see it,

or you're assuming that he has acne? Yeah, acne. Can you be a cool guy if you're on steroids? Do you think that you kind of lose the ability? No, I think it's hard to be that vain and actual cool. I think there's a manageable...

I think it also comes with body dysmorphia and a lot of insecurities. Plus the anger issues that come with the steroids. Yeah, you can't be angry and cool. I feel like a lot of high-profile athletes take steroids and are seen as cool. Every one of them are the least cool dudes ever. Every dude who's ever gotten caught for steroids. That guy? Yeah, he's too big.

Oh, he couldn't do a fucking crawl stroke. Look at him. I think he's like 20. They're all so young. They're starting so young. Because of the media. The size of this guy.

5'11". This guy can shut up. What is that voice? Look at that. Ouch. That's acne? He does not look like a healthy young man.

Only 21 years of age. Wow. And based on his You need saved. Like a junkie. Like an addict. Yeah, truly. No different. He needs an intervention. I mean, it is. He seems like a really good guy. Yeah, truly. It's no different.

He needs an intervention. I mean, it is. He seems like a really good guy. I know. He seems very calming. Is he? Yeah. Interesting.

Ron, you should do a video. Go save him. Go save a life for your first video. How do you save a life as the head of the New York office? How to save a life is the question. That's to get out of the fray age old um yeah I just think that all steroid guys wasn't

Sean Merriman on steroids and he beat the shit out of Tila Tequila oh yeah he did wasn't Roger Clemens on steroids and he fucking wasn't cool he just wasn't cool I don't think was Mark McGuire ever cool ever cool you'd see him at a cool club, cool. The coolest thing he did was...

Sosa ever cool? Ash Brothers. Sosa was very cool. Sosa wasn't. I don't know. He's a hothead. He was the most popular. He Jr. was the cool baseball player.

Griffey was cool. There's a difference. Yeah. Like, Odell is cool. Odell's sexy. Is he not cool? I don't know if Odell's cool. No, no, no. He's cool. Is Odell cool? I saw't know if Odell's cool. No, no, no.

He's cool. Is Odell cool? I saw him talk to Caleb one time at a fight or some shit. Michael B. Jordan is cool. He might be on steroids too, though. Odell skipping down the Ravens practice facility was kind of... He might be a little corny. I thought you were going to say that...

Corny. Yeah, he is corny. He is? Odell? Cam Newton. I think when you're cool, when you're really cool at the front, when you're a trendsetter, you kind of have to toe the he is corny. He is? Cam Newton? I think there's a... You think when you're cool, when you're really cool at the front, when you're a trendsetter,

you kind of have to toe the line with corny. I think cool in our eyes is just black. We always had a cool white guy. Well, Sammy Sosa's white as hell. Yeah, he's not being black. Damn, yeah, fuck. I was cool as fuck. Wait, wait, what's some cool whites?

Cool whites? Lenny Kravitz is... Oh, shit. On a mainstream scale, I would say people view Jack Harlow as cool. Really? And it's the ones that hate him the most look just like him, too. It's the Whites that are saying that he's a cornball. See, you gotta toe the line a little bit, or you're just following trends.

He got off the gluten and alcohol, and his bod is rocking these days. Have you seen his bod? It's not hard. You just got to care enough. I thought you were talking about his body not being hard. It's slim, but it's significant. Any trace of baby fat is gone. You know who's kind of cool?

George W. Bush. See the video of him dapping up Rasheed Wallace? No. At the White House celebration? Holy shit. Set that shit up, TJ. Set that shit up, TJ. Set it up, TJ.

And I need you to play your video that you showed us in the car. Oh, yeah. The guy makes the dude take his shirt off. That shit is fire. Wait, I'll send that to you as well, TJ. Do you know which one I'm talking about? Oh, wait. That's him with Rasheed Wallace?

Oh! And when is this? What year is this? Oh, wait. That's him with Rasheed Wallace. Oh! And when is this? What year is this? 06? Look at this. Rah, rah, rah. Oh, damn. 04, right?

This one's 04. There you go, Zop. My man's ready for a dozen. Yeah, dude. He doesn't break eye contact. And it was just smooth. What's the protocol for a clean dap like that? You're asking the wrong dudes.

I'll be honest. At this battle rap event that I was at, I had a shocking number of botched daps. And I don't think that they were on me. I think that some of these battle rappers weren't hitting clean dap. Wait, you're cool. You just hosted a battle rap. I hosted a pay-per-view. I'd imagine they're like freakishly nervous until they go.

Yeah. Preparing in their head, the lines, rehearsing in their head. Yeah. The other people are like, fuck that. Mine isn't as fire as that.

Yeah, there definitely is. That shit wasn't that fire. Mine shit's more fire than that. Yeah. Self, uh, self-created delusion right it's uh it's a preposterous drug but you know in everybody's little world that they live in people tend to make themselves king of their world people tend to you know uh redesign

the universe to revolve around them so it doesn't matter if you're the most lowly battle rapper which is kind of beautiful it's a fair game yeah i mean it is like you know it depends on your perception of life in the afterlife but you might only get one crack at things so uh it makes it makes a ton of sense that it could be that uh you know if that's your worldview, I'd have to send this video to TJ, though. I gotta fucking... It was a video about this dude being like, take your shirt off in front of all these people. It was like a Cardone guy for, like, these dudes. Those guys are multiplying.

Because it's like a bucket. It's like a way to do content now that, I'll be honest, it's a little bit annoying. Where the fuck is this video? Garrett, take your shirt off. Yeah, right here. Oh, you got it? Garrett.

Take your shirt off, Garrett. Okay, now hold on. Now, Garrett's a killer. Am I right? Garrett, how old are you? 29. Garrett, does this bother you? Yes, sir.

Okay, it doesn't bother you enough. I agree. Am I right? Yes, sir. Okay, it doesn't bother you enough. I agree. Am I right? Yes, sir. I mean it. Come on, put your shirt down. We don't need this. We don't need this.

You got kids? Yes, sir. Two sons. Okay. This is the last time I want you to take your shirt off in front of a group of people and not be in the shape you want your children to be in. Look at this dude. He looks up later.

He looks more than fine. Limitless. Become a fucking animal. Our business has 20x last month. I've definitely lost about eight pounds. There it is. Proud of you, brother. Seriously. Love you, brother. Yeah, we love you more.

And then guess what? Wait till you see him six months from now. Come on. Oh, my God. Every day. We could dain a beers in here and get him. Just take a shirt off. That's like a girl's version of the ideal male body.

Yeah, that's what he had. There's nothing to be ashamed of about it. His arms were pythons. He was fat. And just the premise of being like, the next time you take your shirt, I don't want you to take your shirt off, and not be in shape that your kids want to see you in.

Your kids don't give a shit what shape you're in. Or was it the shape you want your kids to be? Oh, yeah, which is also weird. Even weirder. You don't need this boy to be jacked. Who is this dude? I don't know. Is he actually, like, millionaire successful?

No, he was the guy who said that he wasn't going to hire any dudes that don't have a six-pack. I don't remember that. My healthy brother, you are gay. Yeah, yeah. He says gay as hell. Take your shirt off. Garrett. Now you take your pants off.

Now put your hard dick in my mouth. Garrett, hurry, Garrett. He was like, take your shirt off. Does that head feel good, Garrett? He was like, you won't be needed. I'm in front of a crowd again. So you're confident in how much you're busting down my throat, Garrett. Garrett?

There is no, like, he's just, like, introducing a new form of, like, body shaming among men. And I don't know if, I don't know what this massive, like, this push that's happening amongst, like, social media dudes is that, like, what are they responding to in society that they think that we're too soft so we have to harden up like that? Is this a soft times make soft men type of thing? I don't know what they're seeing around. I think that they're reading too much propaganda about trans brunches and shit like that.

And they're like, we need to get ready for the war. I think it's a giant coping mechanism for the fact that their ungodly fear of just approaching women. So they have to get like big and strong for women. What about eight inches and thick? What about passionate and loving too? It's like those are all that kind of guy. They're all that type of dude. Yeah, I guess I am too.

Have you seen that? You know what video I'm talking about, right? On the beach? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It still makes its rounds. Oh, yeah. It still makes its rounds. It makes its rounds every fucking week. Dude, I like it.

I think that that shit is hilarious, but it's also like, I don't know, it's like a type of dude right now. I guess it's like the protocol. It is the protocol. Yeah. Are you on Gen 4 now? I'm in limbo between 4

3 and 4 I didn't officially start 4 I relapsed on weed and binge drinking you were in Tahoe yeah I know that's the

that's the that's coped you don't cope on the on gen 4 so I gotta wait and I've been back on the stizzies the golden rule of gen 4

and I miss I mean weed is good I had my i was like moaning eating ground chicken ketchup and i was like this is the best drug ever like this is my shit yeah weed will make sriracha feel like a four-star condiment i had to like fucking have my brain in a pretzel i had to take five and think about it. What is it? Videos were so good. I was like moaning watching In Bruges, which I think is a good movie. That is a very good movie.

And that's the Banshees of Innersharon. I love that dude. Remixed. Martin McDonough. Yeah, he's hilarious. That movie is so good. It's so much funnier than like a pure comedy. Yeah.

Yeah. so good it's so much funnier than like a pure comedy yeah yeah just having the uh shrouding of a fake of like a premise like it's about some shit like that you can have a little bit more of a dark comedy right so you're smoking weed but you're still eating ground chicken like what you're not straying from the path of fitness uh-huh but it's a slippery slope but so what are you saying that smoking is the bad thing or having weed in your system is the bad thing? Smoking is bad because it makes me aggressively lazy. It carries over to the next day. It doesn't help my introversion.

Smoking doesn't? No. You know, fucking Rogi says that it just removes a layer between you and the outside world. Gives you a little bit of uncomfortability, man. What do you think about his protocol? He's pretty fucking jacked. I don't know. Is he happy? I don't listen. You don't think that

Rogi's happy? I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know if he has a lot of time off to be happy. Fair. I think that's very fair. I think that he's in the level of power, though, where you can just do what you want. Yeah. But I really don't know but i i uh

i'm curious about what you're like once you strip away everything what are you going to enjoy hopefully everything more or that's what are you going to do anything for you does kyle do anything for kyle i'm going to try to perfect that so i think reward based which fucked me in gen 3 i think i'm going to have to give myself weed every so often i'm going to try to perfect that. So I think reward-based, which fucked me in Gen 3, I think I'm going to have to give myself weed every so often. I'm going to have to give myself alcohol every so often. Have you been having your Cookie Monster ice cream that you love? I'm going to have to give myself Cookie Monster ice cream every so often.

I think that, you know, they say never trust a man with no vices. What about eating the weed as opposed to smoking it? Like having an edible. not maybe not because it's almost like a different drug when you eat it completely different it's a roll of the dice for me that's what i'm saying it's way too inconsistent i think a little bit can be fun though like too little i've had my best highs of all time on edibles and my worst yeah that's the problem and that's why i think a little bit is like... I'll never forget the text from Kyle in Alaska to our Rediscovering

group chat. You bought these like weed gummy worms. Worms were a horrible era of my life. You just sent a picture. You flushed them. You sent a picture of all these gummy worms in the toilet. Enough is enough. That was four balling them with Adderall. So I was in a constant state of

you're wadding them up and putting them on the outside of the pill like a nerd rope it's counteracting both with both and it was a terrible era yeah it is funny when you try to counteract one drug with another drug but then like you could have just not done drugs yeah you're trying to go plus one and minus one to end up at zero and like you only want the negative effects of each drug yeah that's like a festival move to be like all right i'm on this like let me fucking take some of this right some of my boys were at this festival at the pocono's this past weekend it looked fucking awesome it was that camp uh racetrack uh not what i'm talking about not the one in the screen uh it was at the it was definitely at the pocono racetrack the tricky triangle i'm seeing if we have a nascar ad no nascar ad no natural segue for that that's good

i thought your boys were just getting into golf and they was kind of boring you no they are they 100 are and it's pissing me off it's a nightmare it's seizing all it's like either i have to start doing golf or i have to face the possibility of just losing all my friends. Any time I'm trying to hang out with some boys, especially last minute, like, what are you doing this weekend? Golf is already, like, they've already had to get their tee time so they can get ahead of it. And then they're too tired to do anything afterwards. That's all they do. Because they're escaping from family and wife.

Do you think it's binary? You're either a golf guy or you're not, or can it be learned? I think you can learn it. I think a lot of dudes do it as a golf guy or you're not, or can it be learned? I think you can learn it. I think a lot of dudes do it as a—it might be a cope, too. It might just be like dudes sucking dick at golf, but they're like, I don't want to get left behind. I think that's it. I think that's why gay dudes try heterosexuality. They're like, I don't want to get left behind.

Like, I'm going to suck dude. But, yeah, it's a fucking bummer. But I guess I just have to do it, but it's impossible in New York. Meanwhile, in Chicago this past weekend, my fucking aunt, she works at a golf course up there and she texted me and she's like, oh my God, big cat just walked in. So fucking excited about it. So those guys are playing a ton of fucking golf up there. If only I had made the decision to move to Chicago, I'd be able to join my friends

who live in Philadelphia playing golf. Yeah, that's what it took. You fucked up big time. It's a fucking... Oh, man. Did you guys see Jerry's basement? It sucks. No, I didn't see Jerry's basement. There's blood all over it. Wait, actually? In the dentist's office basement

there was like... Mouth blood? There's mouth blood all over his fucking basement. Mouth blood is the runniest blood, I think. Yeah, it's so gross. Maybe the tastiest. Tasty, as we say. It tastes fine. No, no, no.

I wouldn't cut your finger off. First day in a new house. I'm in the utility room now, now and out of the furnace and all that stuff back there. But here's the thing. The doctor, the dentist, used to use this as a lab to clean his tools. So we got air. We got gas.

And then, you know, I'm just looking around. And then look what I see on the floor. There's blood everywhere. There's blood in the house. Oh, my God. That's blood. Yeah. That's blood.

Oh, my God. That's fresh blood. This is blood. Somebody was killed here. Somebody was killed here. The fact that it has such different colors. That dark splatter looked a little bit heinous. Yeah, it was like fucking Carolina barbecue and Texas style barbecue.

Those are just two completely different hues. That was the sweet and spicy and the savory sauce. He said he heard screams from the dentist office like this morning or last night. Yeah, like ghosts. I'm not moving into a fucking dentist office. There's no way that I'm moving into some shit that I don't know, that was something else.

I'm not even a ghost guy. I just don't think that I would enjoy it. I think I'm a ghost guy. Are you? I like the heebie-jeebies. It's a good sensation. Have you gotten them in New York? I've gotten heebies. When's the last time? Yeah, I'm trying to think. Hebe's.

Yeah. I'm trying to think of like a light Jewish joke that I could make. I didn't really have when they came to mind that I could land. I feel like there's New York is ripe

for ghosts. There's a lot of space in New York where there could be ghosts all over the place. But I feel like there's New York is ripe for ghosts There's a lot of space in New York Where there could be ghosts all over the place But I feel like there's not a lot of New York ghost people But if you go out to the country Go to an old house on a fucking prairie Or something You're going to be more of a likelihood of running into a ghost Feeling like you've got a ghost

That is haunting you I found out last week My apartment building has it's own page for, like, there's been deaths in it. What? Famous deaths? Yeah, one. Wait, the one that you're leaving or the one you're moving into? The one that I'm leaving.

That's why I'm saying it now. Oh, let's fuck it. No, let's not look at it. Why? I have a couple more weeks. You're going to be fine. What'd she do? Huh?

What happened to her? How do you know it's a girl? Because you told me, and I forget what you said. He leapt. A Russian model? Dude, you're going to really sense my building. What? She leapt to her death from my building.

How many stories is it? Not much. Nine? That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. I guess one is enough. Is it?

Oh, yeah. I guess it's how you dive. What you land in, like magma or something. Yeah. Nine sounds like extreme, like almost a sport. No, I don't think it would be enough to open a parachute. What's up, Che? So, when I was looking to buy a house, the first question I asked the first realtor we met was is this house haunted and she

said you can't actually ask that but you can ask legally and they have to tell you if someone has died in the home and if someone has died in the home there's a chance that it's haunted so if you're looking to buy a rent a place definitely ask that. Holy shit. She can't, you can't ask that. It's such a crazy thing. She said that to you? Well, she can't answer it. She's like,

well, I can't like really answer that. She's like, there's definitely towns in this house and there are definitely homes in this town that are haunted, for sure. Like proven? Yes.

I don't think that's possible to actually prove it. The town that we were looking at, I mean, we don't live there, so it was Maplewood, New Jersey. It's a very old town, apparently The town that we were looking at, I mean, we don't live there, was Maplewood, New Jersey. It's a very old town, apparently like George Washington and some people were there at some point. And there are a few haunted.

It's a very old town. So there are places that are proven haunted that she can't legally disclose how haunted they are. Correct. Kind of like when the U.S. confirmed that there's aliens type of thing. Yes. That's kind of what we the U.S. confirmed that there's aliens type of thing. Yes. That's kind of what we're talking about in a similar way. Fascinating.

Fascinating. I'd need to be smacked in the face by a ghost. Yeah, we went on a ghost tour in New Orleans, and this lady just played a radio, and it was just muffled sounds, and she was like, yep, that was a ghost. I just couldn't buy it. She was like, did you feel that? We were like, no. she was like yep that was that was a ghost i just couldn't buy it she was like did you feel that and you're like no and she's like exactly all right there's more there

just be someone there that'll be like i just got i just felt cold it's like you're a girl ghost you always feel cold yeah yeah you don't have enough iron in your blood yeah you're anemic we had to bring a gift to like cemetery and put it through the gates. Yeah, like booze. Yeah. Really? Probably just for her. She comes back.

Collects it later on. Like, oh my God, the ghost drank it all. Drunk. That's the problem with ghosts. She was talking about the ghost like a delusional pet owner. Like, sometimes they don't like that. Sometimes they're a little bit antsy.

Oh, I think she likes you. She doesn't like strangers. Shit like that. She's going on her belly. Like Donnie was buying it. He was like, oh. I was. I wanted to.

It kind of felt good. She was like, these ghosts like you. Yeah. Why wouldn't they? And I think that there's an unfair pressure on the consumer in a place like that where you, you don't want to make them feel like shit. Like it's like a magician.

You're not going to be like a comedy show. A magician comes in and you're like, no, I don't, I don't know. That wasn't the number. Like you're just being an asshole to them. Like you kind of have to.

Right. Same with probably a fortune teller. If a fortune teller You're not gonna be like Nah I don't have a Like that doesn't sound right I don't have a relative

With curly hair That's name starts with an A Or some shit Frustrating But it also The fact that there is That type of Belief

It opens it up To a lot of grifting People could bullshit Easy People could just Lie about it In fact all of them in fact every single one of them might be lying huh i watched a little bit of that movie ghost though have you guys ever watched that swayze swayze goldberg swayze swayze gold ever watched

it did they die? Wait, that was multiple people? All of Swayze died. Wait a minute. There's multiple Swayze, but there's only one Al City? Yep. There's one person in Al City, and Swayze was a collective. And one Tame Impala.

That shit is crazy. And Travis Porter is three men. Sweet God. How would we ever know know And Tame Impala And Dua Lipa Are working on an album together So Yeah

Yeah That's just If we're just rattling shit off Oh yeah That shit blows my mind as well That'd be a great Probably a great album Where's Little Sasquatch

He's playing golf with Frank Borrelli Oh that's what it was I thought he was out today Some bullshit This guy has no fucking dedication to the show that we're on and is doing other... It's probably that New York shit, dude.

He's probably doing other content with other New York guys. He probably feels the pressure. Have you gauged his temperature? His ass? Yeah. Hasn't talked to me. Fuck.

Refuses. That's probably intentional. He probably is on strict order. Yeah. Sorry, sir. Not allowed to make eye contact sir How's his stand up in New York I'm going to ask you guys

Or I mean in Philly I heard it went spectacularly Yeah he said it went Yeah he's been crushing Like non stop I think Shane's taken him in Which is really good I heard that he took Shane in

That he had Shane go up on his show. Yeah, that's awesome. Shane wanted to do that. Yeah, it's really awesome. He said he had too many people trying to go on his show. People, yeah, the local comedians wherever he's playing are always going to try to get a spot. It's a hot ticket.

He's next up. Called next. He asked me to be on his show. I said no. I had to go to battle rap which was nice one uh there's no winners because people are such like people get paid so little and are so the center of their own universe where they know everyone wants to be undefeated no one wants to admit that they lost and they're not getting paid enough to admit that they lost so they just

removed judging in general. What was your professional record? They stopped judging it by the time I was like fucking seven battles in. Probably like five and two. Say someone delivers a line that is so clever that it's very hard to get in the moment. There's a problem with that. Is that a discredit to the rapper themselves? I think that there's a problem is that a discredit to the rapper themselves

i think that there's a problem with that i had that conversation a couple times you shouldn't do that well or should you be rewarded later no i think you have to there's the audience there's i think a way that there's a thinking of it where people are like oh they'll get that like the third or fourth time they listen to it it's like well people might not listen to it three or four times. But there'll be people who are saying like, oh, this guy won in the building because his stuff was easier to understand. This guy may be one on camera. Because if you're watching it in an environment where you can hear every word clearly, if you're in the building, one guy maybe has his back to you. You can't necessarily hear exactly what he's saying as well as the other guy.

So maybe on camera, it's a different judging system than in the building what do you think of people that like put up tiktoks with graphics that explain the bar uh i think it works for some people it's it's like uh does that make it unsuccessful i i don't know i think if the tiktok does well if you explain the bar and it still does shitty that just might be bad you explain the bar it it still does shitty, that just might be bad. That just might be bad. If you explain the bar, it has to go crazy. Yeah. Or you've lost. Yeah. Nicki Minaj would always do that.

Nicki Minaj would explain the bar? She'd always go on Twitter and be like, y'all weren't listening. You don't get this. Rowan, have you ever had a line that- I tried to explain one one time and people were like, no, we got it. What was it? It was like this, like, I was, like, talking about running backs, and I was, like, saying something like Clinton, Bush, Gore,

or some shit like that. Like, I was doing, like, a parallel to, like, presidents and Russia and running backs or some shit like that. That's good. And I was just like, you didn't get it. I said, like, Clinton, and people were like no like that sucked you clarified via bar i clarified like you rapped clarified no no i think i'm like twitter or something oh yeah which is uh pretty embarrassing but i was trying different shit shouldn't be embarrassing

to try shit what do you think about the Genius website that breaks down line by line? I think that there's a benefit to that. It's also good for just looking up lyrics. Yeah. I was trying to learn the Wake Me Up Inside lyrics. Oh, yeah. From Evanescence. Of course.

Do you know any of the lyrics of that song? Not a clue. All right. Can you start me off, and then I can fucking take the baton? I don't even know the first word. Yeah, it sounds like that, but I don't know what the first words are. Wow, yeah. I just know the melody. I don't even know the first word. Yeah, it sounds like that, but I don't know what the first words are. Wow, yeah, I just know the melody. I don't know what she's saying.

The only thing I know is, wake me up! Yeah. Can't wake up! That was going to be a pop part. That's good. That's what I like the best, too. I don't know, but I... Spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find me there. I don't know, but I... There's no way this guy's that awestruck.

Yeah, I hate this guy. I like the sound. What is this guy doing? He doesn't need to be there. He doesn't need to be there. He doesn't need to be there at all. Lighting was good, yeah. That was the most intentional sexy look. That's so funny.

DJ, do you have the Krusty Krab rap battle? Sorry for interrupting, boys. Not at all. Bring that shit up. It's like everybody in the Krusty Krab has a bar and Squidward just bodies everybody. Squidward destroys everybody. I think he says the N-word. I don't know if we're...

That's fine. Is he allowed? No, Squidward is... I resonate with Squidward as I age. He was getting a lot of shit. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he is. He was getting a lot of shit. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he is. He was the only register

in the entire thing. And even at home, like, the pranks that's, the noise that was being made. Imagine having to live next to your coworkers. Also,

everybody's doing in Chicago. SpongeBob is it. I think, I think Mintz, I think Mintz is gonna live in my building. In the hollow way. Yeah.

He asked me and I was just... You guys definitely have like a communal shower on your floor. Catch someone like leaned up against the wall beating off in the shower. That will happen. Mintz is going to lock himself out of his apartment but somehow naked. He's going to have like the bubbles over his dick so you can't see it. On your door. It's me popping

as you're talking. I just ordered some more body wash. Left my keys. That's so fucking... Wait, so how did you guys get him to move back? It happened so fast.

Did Dave buy Barstool back? Did Dave buy Barstool back? For one dollar? That's what we heard. That's what we currently think and know. Damn, bro. I'm about to offer him $2, let him make his money back. The next morning, Mince is just in our presence.

An hour later, he says, yeah, I'm moving here. So Mince was meeting us at the bowling alley, and it was going to be the surprise. We were waiting for him. And Brandon, I went out to see his new Jeep, and we just saw Mince asleep in the driver's side of his rental car. And he got out and he just had a seatbelt mark on his face.

It's been a crazy 12 hours. And Brandon goes, Mince, were you asleep in your car? Stranger than fiction the last three months. That's what he said? I guarantee that's verbatim what he said. He drove up taking a nap in his car. Stranger than fiction. No, it's not

because it is real. Yeah, it's not. What is this? And wasn't there like some bad shit with the Ole Miss guy yesterday too? Like the Michael Orr shit?

Yeah. I'm curious to hear Che's opinion on that. Which side that we're on on the Michael Orr. You got to deliver some opinions. So the Michael,

sorry, I was traveling yesterday. The Michael Orr thing, he just never got paid for it and it wasn't real? Like he wasn't really adopted by that family? They adopted him at like 17 and put him under a conservatorship where they could make money off of his story and they made $300 million off his story. But he didn't. Oh my God. $300 million? All from the movie The Blind Side? I think that's what they said.

Or maybe there's a book or some shit as well. So even if they had the full adoption, wouldn't he be pissed that they made $300 million without him getting... Yeah, on his likeness? Right. I feel bad for him. He should definitely get a huge cut of that.

He thought he had a family, man. He didn't. Did he? If he signed a conservatorship when he's like 17? I think he thought it was adoption papers. Maybe I'm completely off on this. I thought in the movie he wasn't really adopted, but they like took him in. Yeah, I don't know.

But then the guy was on Barstool Radio yesterday, and as a, we had to defend him because he bought a brick watch or something. I'm not aware of this. Sorry. I don't know. Which guy? The dad? The son. Oh, the one that was younger than him?

He's listed online as Michael Orr's brother. That's what it comes up on when you search his name, even though he might not be his brother. Yeah, you can say whatever online. It seemed dubious. I say whatever online. It seemed dubious. I don't know. It seemed a little predatory. Dubious at best. At best. Maybe I just don't know the backstory. Sounds like

he's got a great taste in wristwear. Yeah, like, can we separate the brick watch buyer from like, the art from the artist? Like, I feel like he bought a brick watch, but like, that's a watch that's enjoyed by anybody. Your taste in watch is like being like

you bought a... 50% of brick watch buyers might be bad people. Statistically. He's one of them. Bad people buy brick watches too. Good people buy Hugo Boss. Yeah.

Same thing. And BMWs and, like, you know what I mean? Whoever, like, whatever, whoever else made shit for the Nazis. Some people probably had to make shit for the Nazis. Why didn't you back Tommy Smokes for the election? I don't think he should win it. I'm over Tommy. Are you over Tommy? Aren't you back Tommy Smokes for the election? I don't think he should win it I'm over Tommy Are you over Tommy?

Aren't you? Since the day I met him Yeah He's a little much You know? He made this Yeah, that is true I was just playing with my alchemy kit though

Dude, speaking of I hate when you have the fucking sinks that you have to turn one nozzle and also turn the other nozzle, and cold comes out of one and hot comes out of the other, and the two nozzles aren't even connected with one another. That shit sucks. That seems ancient. You're still stumbling upon these sinks?

Those exist. Hot and cold on left and right? Oh, actually, no. So then it is probably upon these things? No, those exist. Hot and cold on left and right? Oh, but actually, no. So then it is probably the same. Showers, that's annoying. Yeah. Oh, that is annoying. You have to perfectly balance the amount.

Instead of just being like, I want it this hot, you have to be like, I want a little bit more of this ingredient, a little bit less of this ingredient, and you're working two nozzles in accordance with one another. That shit sucks aren't they real weird in england probably the the ones like the new york public ones you have to hold it down with one hand so you can't possibly or you like smack it and you get three seconds of water and you smack it again you get three seconds of water which isn't enough time

to get enough friction to get the suds that will be enough to cover your hands, much less Mincy's bathed dick. Yeah, his whole crotchal region. In which case, we're seeing the dick. We're seeing Mincy's dick. Which, I am curious. I wonder. I am curious. If you guys haven't thought about what Mincy's dick looks like, it's time to start wondering.

We have a shot of Clemmer's full cock in the Monkey Boy documentary. Not even joking. He lifted his leg. We got it on camera. But think we're gonna blur it i think but it is in it was like a 90 10 percentage split between the hole in his shorts and the leg it was unbelievable the box help until it growled at you Down boy. Yeah, I could see Mintz having like a beautiful dick. Yeah?

Like beautiful. There's a lot of parody in Dick Beauty. Or there's not. What do you mean? There's not. What do you mean, parody? I think it can only be so good.

Like parody like a joke? Or like parody? Parody. So it's the great equalizer. I think once it looks good, it's pretty much all the same. It's pretty good. Right. Yeah.

I'm looking for the Squidward cover. Sorry, boys. It's got to be easy to be a girl, man. All dicks look so goddamn good, man. Good? The women are so lucky. They're so lucky because all dicks look good. Because the parity's so high.

I'm just joking. I think all the good dicks look the same. But the bad ones, there's a lot of variables. You really don't see that many bad dicks. Because look at the dicks you're seeing. Social media's feeding you only the best dicks in the world. It's not just social media, yeah. Porn.

Porn, the porn. Where's the protocol fall on porn? The people who show their dicks are obviously going to be the ones who flaunt and have it. No. Or championship winners in Philadelphia. Yeah, tiny, tiny, tiny things. Those dudes are trying to get ahead of it. But those are probably even tinier.

You have a lot of friends, Nick, who regularly send you dick. Just one, Josh Varner. He's the only one remaining? Yeah. What do you mean? He sends you his own dick? Just one, Josh Varner. He's the only one remaining? Yeah. What do you mean? He sends you his own dick? Every day. It's always in some sort of reflection

or he'll use a Snapchat every day. One a day. Which is cool. That's cool if he likes you. I was in a darkroom photography class and I submitted his dick in weird places as one of my projects. The teacher was just like, this was ambitious and bold, and I love it. And then two years later, his future fiancée was in the class before they were engaged.

I don't even know if they were dating. Oh, she recognized it? Well, his face was in some of them, and she saw his dick. But if his face wasn't, you think your wife would recognize your dick? No. She'll probably rarely see it. I wasn't talking to you. Sorry.

I'd hope. I don't know. Could she pick yours out of a lineup? That's what I'm saying. How many could? I think that's probably not. If it's a small lineup but if it's like out of 100 out of 50 i don't think okay can we run this experiment with you

can we show your wife 50 dicks i don't think that she would be a willing participant in that why but i would i would get a little force to pick pick out a line of what about 50 i mean 50 is a ton i don't even think i could pick my own dick out of 50. Oh, come on. Okay, wait. Can we run the experiment on you? That's what I'm saying. No parody.

I don't want to look at 49 other dicks. Why? Are you afraid you'll like it? I think we have to try this. You do have to try this. I'm trying to think of the lowest. I think maybe 10 for me. No, guys. It's your own dick. I could trying to think of the lowest, I think maybe 10 for me. No, guys,

it's your own dick. I can pick it out of a thousand. Yes. And quickly. Based on size, man. Mine's shaped like a double heel.

It's not going to be in a silhouette like a fucking Who's That Pokemon? Think if it was 10 dicks, all of your size, you wouldn't be able to. Is it detached

from the... Yeah, so you can't see the groin area because it helps a little bit. It would be in a neutral, generic background. Because that would probably... Czar, are you shaking your head because you think you could or couldn't? Brother, I've been beating this thing for the past 20 years.

I know what... You look at it when you beat it? Absolutely. That's what he's looking at. Hi. That's self-love. Coming to the site of your own dick coming. That's a double pump.

Well, not in the moment, but I mean, I've seen the fucking thing for 20 years. Of course. I rarely look at it. You rarely look at your dick? Yeah. How about when you pee? Probably not. Yeah, I don't think I look at my dick that much either.

I mean, I know what it looks like, but like. How do you know then? How do you know what it looks like? How close did you drop? I don't think I could pick it out of 50. If your dick got abducted, could you tell a police sketch artist what it looks like, but like... How do you know, then? How do you know what it looks like? How close could you drop... I don't think I could pick it out of 50. If your dick got abducted, could you tell a police sketch artist

what it looks like? Would they be able to find it off of just you describing it? That's what we should do. We should describe our dick to a police sketch artist and see how accurate it is.

Yeah. I don't know what I would say. Hey, TJ, can we have that as a special episode? Dick day? Huh?

Dick day? Yeah, dick day. All right, yeah, we'll get a dick drawing day and we'll do a triple D episode. But let's not tell the sketch artist what he's doing until he Dick Day. Alright, yeah, we'll get a Dick Drawing Day. We'll do a Triple D episode. But let's not tell the sketch artist what he's doing until he gets in. Right, yeah, yeah. Welcome to Dick Drawing Day! What?

This would be really... The real Triple D of Fieri hosting Dick Drawing Day? This would be really funny if we all did it and tried to pick out our own, and I guarantee you we'd probably be at like a 50% rate. If we would have told it to a sketch artist and went off their drawings and all of ours would be like two bigger than what they are yeah we

described yeah get the fuck in here francis the fuck is he doing bro what the fuck mom bro what the fuck you're doing stumbling by here i steven i think that what i think we have to start with you i think that we have to what the fuck i think that we got to start with you. I think that we have to... What the fuck? I think that we got to start with you, and then I think that we need to take a picture of your dick, have 50 other dicks. We all look at all the dicks, and you tell us which one is yours. Are you fine with us seeing your dick?

A photo of it. I mean, it was just you guys. Yeah, I don't really care that much. Like cropped out. We'd have to get volunteers that all do it in the same room, because I would just look at the background. But are you saying the background like the quads

like are you talking about quads or are you talking about the fucking like for example KB like I could see the striations on his quads and I'd recognize them in a heartbeat no if I saw a picture and I saw one was in front of a wood background

and I used a wood background I'd be like oh it's that one we would photo shot the same background it would just be a shaft and it would just have to have the... I mean, yeah. It would just... There would be no full background.

It would be cropped to body. Yeah, I mean, so we would need to probably get quigs on this as well. Yeah, we're going to need quigs in the lab taking pictures of a bunch of dicks. I'll do it. Fine. You can do it too. You can Photoshop. Yes.

Do you recognize your dick out of a thousand dicks? I don't think so. A thousand is insane. I think there would be a lot that are pretty similar. I also think that, well, it depends. It's like a game of, what's the game where it's like you're like flipping down people and you're like, does he have a mustache? Does he have breasts?

Guess who? It would kind of be like a guess who game. But I think that you would need to decide, for example, if it was Che, everybody would need to have black hair. You know, like you would have to. I feel like it would have to be uniform. Otherwise, you could go through and be like, okay, 50 dicks, but, like, this guy has a different pube hue than me.

This guy has, like. Is this balls included? No. Why? How does that change things? Well, I'm sure people. You know, your balls... Your dick is unrecognizable, but your balls are unique to just you.

Geodesic domes. I mean, if you're looking at fucking 50 bald guys versus 50 guys with hair, you could probably pick out the 50 guys with hair easier, so... Right. Exactly. I think that that really plays into it. Would you have a better chance of recognizing your balls over your dick? Well, I'm saying if they're together, like, yeah, I have a much better chance of recognizing them.

Wait, just your balls? If your balls are together? Balls and dick together. Combination. Whoa. No, no. Combination. You either get shaft or set of balls to pick out which are yours.

What would you have an easier time with? Shaft for me. Shaft for me. And what characteristics are you basing this off of that are unique to you? How would you describe your unique characteristics? It's purely instinct, and I know which one's mine. It's like kids. You like your own, and you hate everyone else's.

Did I ever tell you guys? Remember I told you guys I had a third ball a while ago, or I thought it was a third ball? It was a hernia. Yeah, it was a hernia. Some guy listened to the show that day, thought he had the same thing, got checked, and he had testicular cancer and then had surgery in time to get it removed. So you saved a life. You mentioned that. That is insane.

Damn, bro. That's amazing. How to save a life. I never knew. Yeah, now he knows. Saving lives, Francis. What are you doing, telling jokes? Set him on his way to win, what, was it seven Tour de France's after that? Yeah, good on that.

Spectacular. After a full lifetime of steroids. That's a good steroids body, though. I like Lance Armstrong's steroid body because it's not too much. He's not doing it out of insecurity. He's doing it out of performance. We were looking at other steroid bodies where it's like over developed pecs and like chest chacney chest acne and shit like that it's like no i prefer lance armstrong's

skinny up top body beautiful vascular legs i might start wearing a livestrong bracelet again around for the boys cool they were cool shade of I liked it. The major side effect in terms of mood of steroids being rage, right? You would have thought that perhaps a cyclist might not suffer that to the same degree that the roided out juice head lifting guys do. Probably because they're biking so strenuously and for so long they don't have any energy left. And yet Lance Armstrong was notoriously a fucking asshole who ran hot at all times. I knew he was like, yeah, perceived that way, but I didn't know about him. Has he had rage moments? Yeah, man, he was vengeful.

Anybody who accused him or spoke that he had taken any kind of steroids he would campaign against them he would make it his goal to ruin that person and also have you ever driven around this city bikers are the biggest assholes of all time yeah all bikers on just like a regular 10 speed are being dickheads to people they are wrong way buddy they're so. They are getting the loudest horns I've ever heard now. Whatever happened to the tring tring? Not anymore. It's like a city bike still have the tring tring. Prematurely too. It's horrible.

Now it's like Guatemalan Uber Eats guys who are just like I respect that. That sounds like the beginning of What's New Pussycat. We're in oven mitts. Did you see that? Yeah, in the wintertime. The oven mitts taped. You slide them in.

I reached into one of those one time just to feel what it was like. It's like a kangaroo's pouch. It's all slimy inside. Sweaty. Those door dashers, their bikes are getting bigger and they're getting shorter. Bikes are taller than them. And listen, they're riding way swaggier too. Half the guys ride with both their legs on one side of the bike.

They'll just be posted up on a fancy last. They're very dainty. Yeah, they're just riding on the side. They have cool ways to sit. And I don't know why. I think it's to look cool and feel good about their job. But that's probably a relatively easy and kind of fun job. Like whipping around the city, making deliveries.

They get into a lot of accidents. There's a guy on TikTok. He wears a GoPro, and you can watch him live. He zips. Really? I've seen that. It's cool. Wait, but are you talking about the guy that's the massive asshole who's always like,

out of the way, dingus fuck. Oh, no, I hate that guy. He's like the first case of bikers being an asshole in new york you know the guy i'm talking about francis yeah yeah every especially if you're a biker you see his tiktoks because the algorithm is showing it to you my i don't i'm pissed off at my algorithm recently though it thinks like the fucking worst of me it's like top three trick shot fails what the fuck makes about me and you've been studying all my internet habits makes you think that that's something

i really want to see yeah but maybe it's deep down i do or maybe it's lying shot fail like yeah like top three trick shot fails i threw my phone down this close i was like oh my too much phone for me i opened up my tiktok and it like, blind ranking, these Solange Knowles albums. What? I'm a sucker for that. And it's crazy because that shit is for you. I know. And I watch it all the way through and I've never heard a single song.

It's bullshit. And I'll disagree with it every time. Nah. Mine's all men jumping off of cliffs into water. Ah. I get that sometimes. Have you ever done that? I love to. But I've never done the death dive how does it know that you like to do that well i think it

just knows that i liked watching it and now it thinks that that's all i watch i i don't give tiktok much info about myself i'm very uh withdrawn i'm coy i'm mysterious yeah sometimes i'll i'll search it to get it off my Scent I just don't I don't even I don't go on TikTok Which is to the detriment

Of my career And I know that They don't know What I like And they're Struggling And there's a frustrated man Over in China

Trying to figure you out Being like What the fuck Does Francis like You see how I did No accent Yeah Could have been any guy.

Francis Ellis is a tough one. Very bilingual Chinese man. Oh, man. I think you're lying. I think. I can prove it. Pull it up. Pull it up.

My proof would be that I think my guess is that the TikTok, whatever my For You page is, I have no idea what's going to be on there. If it's very disparate things, that would be proof, no? Well, just play the first one. Let's see what it is. The fact that you have it on your phone, I mean, they probably have shit. Midnight on a cruise, I guess?

A bunch of guys going down an elevator on a cruise? You would never go on a cruise. I don? A bunch of guys going down an elevator on a cruise? You would never go on a cruise. I don't know what this is. They changed the date at midnight, or the day of the week, on the elevator on cruises. And people have now been going to the elevators and watching this guy replace them.

Okay, and here's a woman doing a face routine. Yeah, I think he's being honest with us. And then here's a woman doing a face routine. Yeah, I don't think... Oh, wow. Yeah, I think he's being honest with us. And then here's a fight in the Bronx. Ah. Looks like another woman doing packing tips. Do you have a face routine? Oh, there's Julio.

And then a guy who's a DJ. I don't know. Do you have a face routine in the morning? Yeah, but I don't... I don't do... I don't learn. Do you have a face routine in the morning? Yeah, but I don't. I don't do. I don't learn it from black women. But sometimes your phone is like. They're ageless.

Yes, they don't crack and I crack. I have fissures. No, crow's feet. I have, ooh, my face is coming apart like a desert. Like some monkey bread. You pull apart a face. You got to start guashing. No, Like some monkey bread. You pull apart face. You got to start washing. No, that's not true.

You don't. But I do. I do find that sometimes the algo will be picking up on shit that like I just do near my phone. So if you're doing your face routine near your phone, like it might just like creepily. No. Yeah, I believe that. I think what happened is I've done a couple of Hannah Burner's TikToks. They're her man on the street thing.

And they did numbies. She asked me, what's your skincare routine? She laughed so hard at what you said. Sure did. Fucking smashed it. His videos go crazy on it. If you just did Hannah Burner videos, you'd have a crazy TikTok presence. The one you did has 20 million plus.

Wow. What'd you say? She asked me, what do I think about when i don't want to come and i said that's not really my problem my problem is that i have to focus very hard on trying to come and then she said something like uh well i get it it's so hard for guys performance anxiety and i said well hold on a second i have no problem maintaining an erection it's it's just convincing the erection to to complete i have a good horse but it wants to keep running around the track endlessly it doesn't know that the race has ended yes you need to get bring it through the finish line

20 million views i mean that And that's a very funny analogy to come up with off the cuff. You didn't know what the question was going to be. It's hard to respond to. Also very forthcoming of you to talk about that shit. Yeah, it wasn't good for my marriage. No, bad at home. That's bad at home. Bad for the marriage.

Were you talking to another girl about cumming? But you did say in the video, you're like, I'm super attracted to my wife. I was so glad that I had said that. Yeah, because you're like, but babe. She said Hannah was like, do you need a new kink or something?

And I said, no, no, I'm very attracted to my partner, but I just distressed the world. Yeah, you said partner even. That people assume you were gay. That's fine. You can't say partner without. Do you have a problem with that, Nick?

You being gay? Mm-hmm. No, it would piss me off a little bit. I've been hearing partner used a lot, even from people that you... You've been around a lot of cowboys, though. Jesus. Yeah, I forgot about that one. Yeah, you were out west.

For a whole week. Yeah, you were riding horses. I was about that one. Yeah, you were out west. For a whole week. Yeah. You were riding horses. I was. My bad. Just got some annoying news. What? What happened? I just found out that Nick is straight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, a guest bailed. A guest bailed. That sucks. Well, they just postponed. Okay. It'll be fucking fine. Who gives a fuck? Buy our merch in the store, though. Buy merch, they just postponed. Okay. It'll be fucking fine. Who gives a fuck?

Buy our merch in the store, though. Buy merch in the Barstool store. It's to sale all day today. It's to sale all day tomorrow. Buy Yak merch. Buy Anus merch. Yeah, we got a shirt that was taken off the store, put back on for just one day only. Come on, boys.

Come on, come on. Help us out a little only. Come on, boys. Come on, come on. Help us out a little bit. Come on. This guy posted his data of four years of online dating. Online. Oh, I think I saw this. That's hilarious. He right swiped 43,496 times.

Whoa. What's this guy look like? And got... We're about to find out exactly what he looks like. 296 times. Whoa. What's this guy look like? And got... We're about to find out exactly what he looks like. He got 298 matches. Oh! Oh, he lives in a bell tower.

That's it. Oh, my God. But out of the 298... 43,000 rejections? 216 of them just didn't reply to him at all. Wait, out of his matches Out of 290 27 are bots

And then he's Bottom line is he got two dates total But he got stood up on both of them But stood up to Oh no I bet it's not fake See this guy I went to his reddit page

And all he talks about is how ugly he is. Yeah, I mean. He says, I don't think it's possible for a woman, for me to be attractive enough for a woman to want me. This guy's like a super athlete at being ugly. He's like, damn, I'm doing good at this. That's all he talks about. How far I can go.

He's a statistical incel. Yeah. Yeah. The data drove him to being an incel. Or like the data confirmed it. Yeah. He had a hypothesis and this is like he's a scientifically proven incel. And at which point you don't see anybody

matter. He's posting what can I do with my hair to help with the massive forehead and far back hairline. Wait, wait. There's pictures of him? Why is seemingly everyone in my life able to have sex except me? Oh my god. Oh, this guy sounds miserable. He is an incel. He's a Redditor, there's pictures of him? Why is seemingly everyone in my life able to have sex except me? Oh my God. Oh, this guy sounds miserable.

He is an insa. He's a Redditor. There's pictures of him? No. No, no pics. Not public. Damn. I don't think it's possible for me to be attractive enough for a woman to want me, as opposed to

he made an r slash dating. This is exactly that what what um if you were to just you know swipe right constantly doesn't the dating apps start to say well this person is just you know he's gaming the system no discretion no there's no like or feed you they gotta start feeding you the pig this is a this is a bullshit person who's trying to manipulate the app like no i think it's just like it's a dude who'll fuck anything yeah and they don't they then i i don't know i thought the dating apps were smart enough how do you like start to say we don't want to deal with this person we're not how do you even how do you reach 47 000 isn't it just like a local thing i know i knew like a radius metropolitan area maybe one time a dude told me he was like, yeah, I like...

I don't know. There were like maybe limits for a time or some shit. And he was like, no, I jail broke mine. So there's no limit on the amount of swipes I can get. For fuck's sake. Jail breaking your dating app. And I really think that there's some dudes who are on there being like, I will cast as wide of a net as I need to cast.

Any fish is good enough to eat. I think people use it as like social media like they just they love the reward of getting a match i know dudes who are like i know a friend of mine he was like and he wasn't even or i guess he was bragging he was like i've never matched with someone and not had them match back but he never met up with anybody so he basically he must have only used it for like the validation that's what i'm saying just like we use it for like a like yeah but that's probably sweet for fucking good-looking people i have a friend who whenever he would sleep with a woman for the first time he would

not allow himself to come because he would then hold that over them that's uh your friend patrick bateman i think yeah it's pretty fucked, yeah. That's a little bit, that's too much. Then they would be so desperate to, in his words, they would be so desperate to sort of like, I don't know, please him that they would want to come back to try it again. Yeah, that is like when you think about someone having game, but then there's also people who make it a game,

and to them game is being like social manipulation. It's like girl leans into you you lean away from the girl so she feels like you don't lean in because then she's it's like a micro version of the same thing of your boy not nutting anybody who tries to codify uh dating to me is weirdo you know if you're not fucking for pleasure that's a problem that's a big problem pleasure or love or procreation but he might yeah he might have gotten pleasure from knowing that not you're not not sexual pleasure he's doing it for power are we talking about yeah francis's best friend oh That's not who he was. Francis' best friend and confidant. In fact, based on this conversation, I'm happy to say I don't think he's a friend anymore. This guy, his first time having sex with a girl, he would purposefully not come so he could hold it over the girl.

To not give them the satisfaction that they had pleased him. Yeah, he's a psychopath. The second you have a method is the second you're wrong. To me, busting is the best part of sex. Yeah, you're pleasure-driven. You like a warm shower and a bust. You know what my favorite part of sex is?

The consent. That one moment where you say, would you like to have sex? Is it too late for me to change and they say too late for me to no no no that's only i walked in and they say he doesn't like the consent and you say wow i didn't expect you to i didn't think that was going this far but boy that's pretty clear cut and you ask two or three more times just to really make sure yeah double factor authentication that gets me going me going me too for sure that was my answer do it on the laptop

and the phone multiple e-cigs baby e-signatures Jule can I get your e-cig take a hit of that take a little whack of that see if that changes your mind I wanna fuck you

we need to figure out our rough and rowdy fighter. Yeah, we do. I won't be there, but Evelyn has a VIP pass. My dad will be ringside. Wow. Well deserved. Let's interview him. He's worked for this.

By all means, please do. I think he has a plus one, and I don't know who he's bringing. Could be anyone. Could be anyone anyone what's the mayor of wheeling his name glenn he doesn't like us he absolutely we don't like him back though so it's even yeah wait so you guys not even because it's one person not liking us versus two not liking yeah it's actually worse for him us or anus or barstool? He's an anime. Rediscovering America. So do you think that he has a problem with Barstool infusing a bunch of cash into his town this weekend?

No. He didn't even know we wore Barstool, I don't think. He did. Okay. He just looks at you guys as ne'er-do-wells? I think you're more rare do-wells than nair do-wells that's pretty mean too okay you're you're do-wells

you're do-gooders Gary Goldman has a bit I think it's about Trader Joe's where he's talking about nair do-wells and he goes how often do they do well nair it's true I don't want to be labeled as that nair is N-E-apostrophe-E-R, correct?

Is there like never? It's a contraction for never that nobody has used in, I don't know, 400 years? It's got to be like Shakespeare or like a church song or something. Why would anyone remove a V from that word? Because it makes sense in a verse. I think it's got to be like some kind of like, does it work in a pentameter? Oh.

You know what I mean? See. That's the only way that they're truncating words. It's amazing, Ron. It's got to be the reason. Because in church songs, they'd always be like shortening word, like airy or some shit.

In poems, yeah. Which is like funny because it makes it sound like they're from St. Louis. Yeah, it does. Airy body. There was a bad rapper, one dude, Which is funny because it makes it sound like they're from St. Louis. Yeah, it does. Everybody. There was a battle rapper, one dude, who was battling this guy from St. Louis. And they say how Nelly had the song Hot in Her.

And he's like, what would happen if a girl left her weave at your house? Would you say that she left her, her, her? Oh, wow. I didn't know that was a St. Louis thing her hot and her yeah everybody it was saint louis and also jesus christ used to do that biblical songs written by michael junkus um so yeah we need to figure out how we need to yeah we have shit that we need to figure out yeah we do procedural shit so how are you going to pick this rough and rowdy fight? And what's the...

Maybe like your dick gets sketched or some shit like that if your fighter loses? Yeah, so we have all the fight posters and the fight promos that we can look at. And then I think we should pick one fight to be the yak fight. And then everybody that watches the fight, you can watch it on YouTube pay-per-view now. So if you want to chat during the fights also. And then we'll promote around the yak fight. And then we'll figure out some sort of stakes to put on it it could be dick related or we could actually put stakes on it we could put stakes on it talking about fucking vampire what fat ass porterhouses and vampire slayings

losing half cooks to winning half stakes no I don't trust the losers cooking my steak. Winner gets to have a steak. Loser, steak through heart. Steak and blowjob challenge? What about a winner eats the steak off of the loser, like that Eddie Murphy picture on the balcony? That'd be so awesome. Yeah. That's fire.

Loser is plated. Human table challenge? Yeah. Humans plated. That's fair. Losers plated. Human table challenge? Yeah, humans plated. That's fair. Losers plated. I think that that's fair. If you guys were to be the plate for food, what do you think is the dish that would be best served upon you? Applesauce.

What would feel the best? Probably mashed potato. If someone were creating a course and each of us were to plate a course of food, what is the dish? Yeah, I'm trying to. Maybe a shish kebab or skewer between my peck mounds. Yeah, it wouldn't roll away. Your peck mounds. Oh, man, that has me hungry as fuck, brother.

I'd love to eat some shish off your pec mounds. What about y'all? I think the lower back has a natural dip where you could pour some soup into or some shit like that. Yeah, the two dimples of Venus that I have would be perfect for so like au jus and like a horseradish. Yeah, two dips. A French dip would be twixt my ass. Yeah, what things have two dips?

You'd have two dipping sauces in the two different... Yeah, exactly. In my dimples of Venus. Layered along the spine. Like if you have pretty well-defined back muscles that if you're laying down that chasm between your two, you know, layered along the spine. If you have pretty well-defined back muscles, if you're laying down that chasm between the two halves of your back,

it could be something that you line up some chicken nuggies and have the two dipping sauces and the dimpies of Vini. My scoliosis would be enough for a vodka luge or a beer luge. I'll just be the refreshments Boy an ice luge man Those are such a hit I've never done one Yeah you have LSU tailgate

Oh wow yeah it was so hot I wouldn't think there was ice available But sure enough It remains solidified I mean there's a time limit on all ice luge You would think it would have been melted is what I'm saying. Didn't we have one at the Super Bowl house as well? All you do is ice luge.

I don't think you've done that. I've done it several times now that I think about it. You lying bastard. I had one made for my wife's birthday party. And there's a guy in New York that you can call. His name's the luge doctor. No way. And he will carve pretty much

anything you want and we had a nice luge made I had a nice luge made in the likeness of our French bulldog oh my god do you have a photo? yeah let me pull it up people would take the shot like out of the tip of this little nubby tail they're genius ice artists I asked for my wedding

they were like yeah the ice sculptor can do whatever you want. I was like, whatever I want? And so I made him sculpt a pig in a top hat smoking a cigar with a tray in front of him that you could put champagne on. You just think of that off the top? I don't know. I don't remember how I came up with it. That was your original idea? Yeah.

And was it bare? Yeah, it looked dope. Yeah, it looked fucking dope. And it just like melted. I don't even think people really realized it, but it was like personally satisfying for me. When does it melt? After how long?

It was the thick of July, so I think that it melted pretty quickly. It was a relatively hot day. But I mean, at Penn State, we had ice luges that we bought, and this shit lasted. Like you put it outside in the wintertime, it just would last for the whole weekend.

Wow, yeah. It was freezing because it was still frozen. TJ, it just would last for the whole weekend. Wow, yeah. It was freezing because it was still frozen. TJ, what are you about to say something? Oh, okay. Can we pull up the rough and rowdy list so we can pick a fight? Yeah. We also have that, and we're trying to break a world record while we're at Stu's,

and I have a list of, I found some world records that I think we could break. Beatable? Yeah. Hell yes. What do you got there, Francis? Oh, that's the, oh. That's the coach luge. Oh yes. What do you got there, Francis? Oh, that's the... Oh! That's the Cogeluge. Oh, this is when you proposed.

That's when I proposed, yeah. Cogeluge. Look at that. It's down his back. What? Oh, so you have to suck his asshole to drink it? Suck his asshole. Oh, yeah.

It's an eye sculpture of a dog with that exact chasm we're talking about down the back, and you have to suck the dog's asshole to get the shot. Yeah, yeah, get in there. You getting mad at people that were just like, nah, man, I'll just take the shot out of a glass. No, no, everybody was all about it. People were excited. Francis, what iPhone is that? Yeah, this feels...

That's an 11S. Is it? Mm-hmm. I feel like I haven't seen the ones with the curved sides in a while. It's time. Yeah. I took the case off. I've basically been intentionally trying to damage it to the point where I have to force my hand to get a new one.

Yeah, you're living a little bit dangerously. But you don't want to do it prematurely. I cracked the back, but the front's still okay. I keep waiting for the new one. Why? Because to get a new phone, to get the latest iPhone, which I think is whatever, the 14-something, only to learn that two weeks later the 15 is coming out would be infuriating. It will always be like that.

Yeah, but I want it to be... I want to know that I have some time to say I have the latest iPhone. I don't think I've ever had the latest iPhone. Nor would I say it to someone. Ever. It's my boyfriend. But I do believe in a planned obsolescence where these products

are built to fail. Yes. Do you believe in that? I think fully. Yeah. You think cars should break down. Printers have been proven. People have found chips in the printers that are set to expire. Same with iPhones. I said it about iPhones, but I have an iPhone that is now, I don't know, five or six years old. And the only issue that I've had is that lately the battery has been a little less.

And that's natural with technology. Not lasting that long yeah but there was like a class action suit against it where i think planned obsolescence is uh unethical or i don't know what they decided but i think that everybody got like 10 cents from it or something so big win for everybody you really fucking showed apple i think it's definite with the inkjet printers i've always wondered about those class action lawsuits i get get these emails sometimes, you know, hey, we saw that you were part of this thing and we're doing a class action lawsuit.

Let us know if you want to get involved. I just don't know how big of a piece of the pie you get when you join one of those things. I don't think it's very much. Is it not? It can't be. There's like thousands and thousands. I think it might be tiered too. Like remember in Erin Brockovich when some people

got a bunch of the money and then some people didn't get a bunch of the money? Do you remember that? Spoiler, but alright. Fuck. Brockovich for me. Such a fucking idiot. She was so hot in that movie because her bra was showing. Push up bra, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just like see

a bra strap and be like, oh my bra, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just see a bra strap and be like, oh my God, that's so fucking hot. Julia Roberts thanked the person who made the bra in her Oscar acceptance speech. I remember. Put it down to earth, babe. Wow.

Yeah, let's look at these rough and rowdy fighters and then let's rip through these records. I want to do both of those things. Yeah, so we have the still shots and then I have videos through these records. I want to do both of those things. Yeah, so we have the still shots, and then I have videos of these fighters as well if you find interest in any particular matchup. I think we might even be able to judge it off the still shots and names. I think sometimes you learn a little bit too much about a rough and rowdy fighter.

I'll go with this. Make it happen against Lights Out. That's the headliner. I don't think we need more of a reason to be black. Okay, the guy's got adjectives. Black Italian Stallion. Get over there, KB. American Redneck.

Do they have rednecks in other countries? Ooh, yeah. I bet you Ireland does. Rednecks. Okay, Polish Hammer against Diamond Hands. These are high-end fighters. I want to go through the troughs. Yeah, like these are five main carders right here.

Yeah. Let's find some zero and zero. Okay, Sunshine against Hot Wheels. The Popular? Okay, this is the... Okay. This is what the fuck I'm talking about what does that mean you could have just gone with popular um the popular is insane how do you think of that

popular kind of it implies a multiplicity that like everybody has come to the consensus on something unless this is is a political statement. He's against the electoral college. Like the popular vote. But this is just the popular. All right, do we have to... Can we see the popular's video? Popular's from Ringgold High School, probably.

Yeah, probably. Who else went there? Griffey's, Stan Musial, and... Are there a lot of good baseball players? Montana all went to that little high school. There's a bunch of quarterbacks from western Pennsylvania. You know, Terry Bradshaw, Montana, like you said. Who are some other

Hall of Fame quarterbacks all from western Pennsylvania? I don't know about quarterbacks, but I think Rodney Harrison and Darrell Revis are from the same town, I think. Yeah, Alec Quipper or some shit. But yeah, maybe. I mean, the popular.

So there has to be something on the popular, but I don't think anybody wants to go against the popular. I'll go against the popular. He's going up against Wheels of Death. I might know Wheels of Death. What? I hope he's in a chair. He better be in a wheelchair.

You can't be a standing wheels of death. Where's the wheels? We already have a Hot Wheels. We're adding wheels of death. Do these guys have videos? What are the wheels of death? Are you talking about his hands? I don't know.

That's not a good move. Yeah, neat. That's funny. I think people used to get named by Chrisris smith and i think now like the guys kind of have their uh they're industrialized to give themselves their names that should have never happened yeah but maybe i don't know the popular and that's why you need a show like the yak like i don't i don't know if rafa rowdy in and of itself would be able to make good fun of the popular and make it a something that we all get behind but you have a show like the act we're gonna we're gonna realize

how funny the name the popular is named the popular like his opponent is wheels of death for a fighting competition it's not a car show not a race he's not he's not doing the popular metaphorically with wheels there needs to be another name like the popular guy like the popular you know muscle man or some shit like that like there there's a part missing of the popular or you could just lose the purchase could be popular or it would need to refer to a table of kids in a cap, it's like a group of people. A popular. I don't like the popular. This guy's brilliant. He's got us wondering.

They need Justin Timberlake to come up and tell him to drop the the. How about if the popular loses we all have to do something or some shit like that. Maybe if the popular loses we all get to eat steaks off him or some shit like that. What's a good?

The popular is going to lose. Dude. That's not how popularity works. That's not how popular works. He chose his name to be the popular. He's not winning a fight. He was too lazy to even finish that. He's not going to have the stamina to box.

I don't know. That's good, right? Alright, so you're going against the popular? I want to be on the popular side. We needed an even split, though, so you'll eat off me, I'll eat off you. Maybe you'll eat off Francis or Big Cat.

Or maybe that could be our eat-off match. Alright, that's our eat-off match. And then everybody gets eat-off matches? Yeah. Okay. Okay, yeah. Bro, call me Eat-Off Hitler, bro. I'm about to eat.

I was trying to think of Birdie. Birdie Eat-Off, yeah. Thought about that. Hitler. I was thinking about Hitler. Fuck, fuck. Or we could just... Me and you could just draft our teams of people who will be our eat-off partners.

Okay. Should we do that, or should we keep on going through and find other matches? What do you think would be who's rough and rowdy more? Let's not make rough and rowdy about us. Let's have one match. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. Big yak eat-off match.

Okay. So can I... Yeah. Go ahead. First pick? Yeah. What do I get next to? So you're picking basically people you don't want to have to eat off.

Well, I'm eating off of you. We're the captains here. Right, right. I think me eating off your body is probably like you eating off mine. Yes, yes. That's nice. Give me... Give me Za.

You're going to eat off of Za? No, he's on my team. He's on Team Z. You're going to eat off of Za? No, he's on my team. He's on Team Z. He cannot eat off of Za. I'm eating off of you. Right. Or maybe we spin a wheel. Okay, so you're picking Za. All right, I'll pick...

I'll pick Big Cat. And also give me... Give me Kyle. That leaves me with Stephen Che. Oh, or TJ. I think Sass is in the mix. Oh yeah, Sass too. Give me Sass.

That's going to be awkward. Alright, I'll take TJ. Give me Stephen Che. Is that an even split? Yeah Huh? What team are we on? I don't know You are on the popular

You're rooting for the popular Hell yeah E, Sass, Che, and Za Are rooting for Wheels of Death You guys suck What? Terrible pick No wait really? Can we look at the stats

now? They're both 0-0. Oh my god, this is amazing. Do they have promo videos? No. They don't have promo videos? Oh my god. This is the promo video for them. Do we have their government names? No. Yeah, maybe his last name's popular. I'm trying to think

of... Maybe he's done other events under the pseudonym. The popular Manonga Hilo. Can we look at their stats again? He better come out to that song. Popular. Wicked. The Christian Chenoweth. I wanna be popular.

Oh, Wheels of Death is gonna win. 2.10. Why is Wheels... Oh, he's 33. Shit. Look at my boy Popular's 5'10 210 That's a

That's a beefy boy That's a sausage One of my favorite creases of fat Is like When like the titty fat Goes up into the shoulder fat Like this Straight up crease right here

That That My boy the popular Is he wearing a cape? Or something Yeah what's on his back? Hot towel My boy the popular Is he wearing a cape? Or something Yeah what's on his back? Hot towel

So I have to root for him? He's gonna get pummeled Stop Did we select these photos or did they submit them? Because if the popular submitted that photo for himself I mean he looks Handsome Demented submitted that photo for himself. I mean, he looks... Handsome.

Demented. But maybe that's like the guy who's like, I'm so fucking great. Like the guy who punches himself in the head before the fight. He wants to look demented. But he's also given up a cool 14 pounds. He looks like Hodor. I just can't look at those two words next to each other.

I laugh. All right. I just can't look at those two words next to each other and just laugh alright well that's our that's the rough and rowdy competition the popular against wheels of death I mean we found the right one we found the exact perfect one got a bet on it too

excuse me we got a bet on it, too. Excuse me? We got to bet on it, too. Place wages on the fight. Okay-ish. Cash wages? Yeah. We could do that, right? Yeah, we could do that, I think.

Big sums. How big of sums? Put up like $250 each. Whoa. Whoa. Do it. All right, $250 each. Oh, fuck. I wish I didn't do that. Whoa. Whoa. Do it. All right, 250 each. Oh, fuck.

I wish I didn't do that. Fuck, yeah. God damn it. I don't want to do that. How about our... Well, no. We got to give... They got to give us odds.

I got to learn anything about either fighter. They got to give us odds because it's less likely the popular wins based on all the information we have. We don't have any information. We just have their body. Yeah, we saw the crease. The saw the crease he saw his one crease he's wearing a cape we saw his he's from he's from where is he from uh so denora pa is where stam usual ken griffey jr and joe montana are all from it's a town of under five why the fuck would ken griffey jr be built be born in denora was his dad was on the Pirates at the

time no so why was he born in Denora I don't know are you sure it's not y'all went to high school there too right because he was his daddy was on the Reds yeah how close is it to since before since it what ski definitely just said wheels of

death is probably the favorite to win because he has an MMA since a Wetski. Devlin just said Wheels of Death is probably the favorite to win because he has an MMA background. That'll help. Yeah, that'll help. No, you guys are good with the popular.

Whatever, I would rather... Oh, no. Ken Griffey, he was just born there. He didn't grow up there. Junior or senior? Senior would make sense. He could be born anywhere.

I cannot wait to eat off of you. I think it's going to be worse eating off of someone than getting... Yeah. No way, because I'm putting a hot steak on you. I'd be kind of slimy. You're going to be like a fajita coming out of the restaurant. Just cutting a steak on someone's back.

Ew, yeah, it's gross as hell. With a steak knife. I'm going to be sweaty as fuck. You're eating it off my thigh, too. On my inner thigh. Wait, yeah, this is worse for me. You just get stuff on you. Yeah, the eater gets germs in their mouth. thigh, too. My inner thigh. This is worse for me. The eater gets germs in their mouth. Sweat.

Oh, man, I want my guy to lose. We're so bad at this. You guys ever done a body shot off of a guy? No. It's pretty good. Done one into one. Finished on a guy? Into one. Just let things on a guy? Into one.

Just let things go sometimes, my friend. It's impossible to make. He said he shot a load of cum in someone as a joke. I'm done. You're the reason I'm moving. Freaking jerk. That's not true. Nick, start rattling off These fucking ideas

These records that We're gonna try to break Oh goodness yeah Yeah yeah Alright So this one I really want Brandon to do It's the most juice

Extracted from grapes By treading In three minutes What do you Like you know When you make wine You smash juices How much grapes

How much treading Grape lady What do you mean What is that You're treading Like stepping Okay Don't tread on me In water Okay in water The most juice How much grapes? It's treading. Grape lady. What do you mean? What is that? You're treading? Like stepping. Okay. Don't tread on me.

In water. Treading water. Okay, in water. The most juice extracted from grapes by treading in two minutes is 20.3 liters. Oh. 4.47 gallons. No way he could do that. It was done by a woman that was 110 pounds. If you recall, Brandon couldn't run a quarter of a mile.

Three minutes, he's using his weight and his big-ass feet. Yeah, I want to see, what did she do? And has this been challenged at all by anyone else? She attempted it in 2008. She would have to be like Christian McCaffrey on the ladder drill. Like, her feet would have to be like... And there's no way that Brandon is... He has the density.

Density and beautiful calves, but I don't know if he has the endurance to be chopping his legs. We need a jump rope world champion to do that. But I still think you should try. I think you should try. The most CDs balanced on one finger, but you're not allowed to put your finger through the hole.

So it's just CDs on the finger. It's anything more than... It's 50. Is it the disc? Whoa. Can you do it like this? Sure. You have to. Is it the disc? Whoa. Can you do it like this? Sure. You have to.

Yeah. Is it the disc or the case? The discs. Only the disc. And is it like laid flat across? Yeah. That's way too many for 50, I think. We're not doing that.

You don't think? I think we could do 51. Who has the steadiest hand in here? We'd have to figure that out first. We got to get Sass on his medicine. It's just like what he takes before flight. Yeah, the Ativan. The size and sturdiness of the finger matter.

Did we have Brandon try that one? Yeah. Yeah, I think Brandon should be trying all these. The fastest time to place 24 cans in a fridge. Off the top. Cans must be intact and unopened. 24 cans. A commercially available refrigerator

must begin with the door closed. No chance. Any cans... I haven't said the time. What do you mean no chance at what? I just know that anyone we have would not be able to do that faster than whoever has them. They're loose cans, not packaged together. You have to go open the fridge. Put all of them in. They can't be

fallen over when it's done. They can't be dented at all so I think I could do 40 seconds you do 40 hold on I bet the record is like

12 seconds I forgot to oh shit okay it's faster than that it's 5.78 seconds thank you thank you

had a feeling not a chance I could see I could see it being like a scenario where you have the whole case of beer and you just like yeah like you whip it in whip it out but there's guys who are bar backs that have been just five seconds condoling can you could kind of go we'll cancel the show we'll just cancel the i mean we're gonna try the other ones were more feasible to me uh the most

smarties eaten in 60 seconds blindfolded using chopsticks. Here's the guy. He's got the top handle. What? He sucked. Jesus Christ. He quit right away? Three, two, 1.

It's not great. This is not a guy. Is this the guy? If so, he's not. He doesn't look experienced at all. No. No. No, no, no.

He's training for this. Yeah's got to be Italian. Yeah, he has good arms. Cans are too big, too. No. No. No, no, no. No. No.

No. It's not too high. It's going to be in stool scenes, but Francis destroyed Dana this morning. Yeah, I got him good. On some bully? On some bully shit. On some real bully shit. What is...

It made me gasp. No! Oh, no! Italian guys are incredible. No, the most Smarties eaten in 60 seconds blindfolded using chopsticks? 20. Wait, that sounds really hard. You think?

How many seconds? It has to be one at a time. 60. That one sounds... You can get one a second. How nice are people with chopsticks? How nice are folks in here with chopsticks? There's one that's probably better than most.

Huh? I'm decent. Stephen, can I ask Stephen Che a quick question? You treaded water once for a long time, right? No. Kind of, depending on what you think about it's a long time. How long was it? Five minutes.

Okay, that doesn't sound... It was hard? Was that hard? It can be hard. It was hard for me. I'm not an aquatic person. I see. Is this a real human?

This is blindfolded. 34 seconds left here. He's fumbling around a bit now on the plate. He's stabbing at the Smarty. He's trying to find one. He's hit kind of a tough log here, but he's got another Smarty up and in. At 24 seconds left on the clock. Bird is still going for another Smarty. He's got one in his grasp, and it is in his mouth. Yeah, this is easily He's going for 20 he doesn't get it does he on the board you have to be blindfolded mouth 10 seconds on the clock

He's stabbing around. I mean this guy looks like he sucks at chopsticks as he does This is your garden variety gringo trying to fucking hit chopsticks, bro. That shit isn't gonna work We need a you can beat that. I like challenges. Of course. What's the challenge for treading water? If you don't get it, you owe someone money. And if you do get it, they owe you money. I think Rowan pitched it originally.

Was it 15 minutes? Yeah, 15 minutes was what we had to do at my summer camp when I was eight years old. And everybody passed. That was like a pretty baseline tread water type of thing. Like you got your little blue ribbon for doing that type of shit. So I was like, Steven, you must be able to do that. Didn't work. Didn't.

Didn't do it. But he's not aquatic like that. Yeah. Fact. No shame against you. Probably could beat the Chopstick Challenge pretty quickly. Are you nice with sticks? Yeah, I'm decent with chopsticks.

I feel like the guy, it looks like he sucked at it, but I feel like based on the size of the Smarties, you can't really go with a very up-top hold. You know what I mean? You're going to have to choke up on it. Yeah. Okay. Fair.

This one we can do. I like that. So I think that should be one of them, picking up the Smarties. I think we should try for that. That has to be blindfolded, though? It has to be blindfolded. I think that we could also add, like, be like, the most Smarties picked up blindfolded while doing this other thing, and it's like, no one will have thought of that.

So it's like, if we just add one thing to that, like if you're standing on one foot and blindfolded, you could get that record because no one's attempted that part of it. You could set the bar. Fastest time to assemble a Mr. Potato Head, 6.62 seconds. Sash could be nice at that. If he could do a Rubik's Cube, he could probably do a... Definitely, and you just have him sprawled out. Grab your pieces.

And then fastest time to unravel toilet paper with one hand. 9.8 seconds. A whole roll? Yeah. Wow, that does seem fast. I think it would be easier with thick. We're not touching the Korean kids. No, you're not going to touch the Koreans.

This kid has probably dedicated eight years of his life to this. Yeah, we're not beating him. I like all these so far, though. I think they're all merit. Those are the ones I got this morning. Why are we not just adding a wrinkle to each one of these and just being done on one foot and just immediately having the record

and letting someone else try to beat it rather than trying to beat something really fast. Or we could just have parentheses non-Korean. The non-Korean world records? The non-Korean Guinness Book of World Records. Yeah. Soulless. Oh, my God.

That's funny. That's good. Yeah, that's funny as fuck. I like that. I think That's funny. Yeah, that's funny as fuck. I like that. I think that's funny. We should make the non-Korean Book of World Records. The soulless Guinness Book of World Records where it's all redheads and

non-Koreans. So let's just try those ones but with no Koreans and with no with like a stipulation on each one on one foot the Guinness website is abysmal to navigate and I was looking at other lists

if you guys know of any send them in how about like grapes liquids of grape shit blindfolded blindfold doesn't play anything into it but it's like we're adding the blindfold to the record. I just don't know if we can decide when a new record spawns. The Guinness people are very stringent about their rules and regulations. But if there's the groundswell of our popular audience,

of the popular, I don't know, maybe that can help. Perhaps. Do you have to just pay someone to come out and watch? So you need a 12 to 16 weeks notice to get an actual adjudicator to come. And we can extort him. But there's ways to do an alternative witness, essentially. And because it's on camera on a live stream, you could send it in and apply for it to be officiated.

Amazing. Officially amazing. That's their catchphrase. Oh. I think that we should try to talk with a Guinness person and see how much wiggle room we have for that type of shit. I feel like if we could have that conversation, I think that we could get quickly to the bottom of it.

We have people reaching out to that sort of process. That's why they need the list of records so that they could submit stuff. Yeah, like what if we added just little twists. A little tiny bit. Because the guy picking up shit with chopsticks blindfolded, like that's so specific that if we added a little bit of specificity, I don't think that it's antithetical to the spirit of Guinness records. Like fastest lap backwards is like, you know,

people have already done all that shit. Actually, doesn't Ninja Warrior have that from Rough and Rowdy? I'm pretty sure he has that record. He has most pull-ups done in a day, I think. He's a good Instagram follow. He rules, yeah. The Ninja. He is dope as fuck.

Let's talk about High Noon. High Noon. If you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings, me, you're looking at Nick. You're actually talking specifically about Nick right here. You're going to love the brand new Hi, Noon tequila seltzer. This stuff is nationwide. I was on the way to the airport yesterday in San Francisco.

There's a massive billboard that says High Noon Tequila Seltzer is here. They have that ish coast to coast, and it doesn't matter which ocean you're looking at. It's going to be equally delicious. You could have the passion fruit. You could have the strawberry. You could have the grapefruit. Or you could mess with that goat, the lime flavor. But no matter where you're getting it from,

make sure that you're enjoying it with a friend of yours. Because that's the best way that I like to have a high noon with a buddy or a pal even sometimes. You can find them on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store. Or you can visit highnoonspears.com to find some tasty, tasty high noons right near you.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Yummy. They restocked the fridge recently. After the, uh, I knew that the Dave announcement went well last week because they unlocked the high noon fridge.

They were like, hey, just freaking enjoy them today. This is unlocked? It was then. They might have relocked it because they restocked it. Restock like, hey, just freaking enjoy them today. This is unlocked? It was then. They might have relocked it because they restocked it. Restock it, relock it. You know how they do. Ebony, uh, Tommy chose Ebony as his running mate now. Very

Joe Biden of him? Quite. Joe Biden before the election was like, I'm gonna pick a black woman to run with i don't even care who yeah fucking any anyone he literally said that before he had picked the running mate it's like okay that's the first science it was just biden black woman and biden slash any black woman. That's hilarious. I will not be voting for Tommy in any way, shape, or form. That is my campaign promise to you. Yuck.

And it's a shame because Ebony's a good gal. We did it, Tommy. Tommy, we did it. Tommy's just licking his chocolate chocolate chip Ice cream Chocolate chocolate chip Francis why aren't you running He's more of a He's more of a

Muscle guy He's not a big cardio head Yeah I don't know I didn't really understand What it would mean Here's the thing is it doesn't mean anything nothing at all cool cool i dig that that's why people are like oh it's like uh it's like a shtick to do this it's like no we're just like doing stuff at work the

same way on the act that we just like do stuff sometimes it's like stupid and fun and funny and we put it on tape and video i think that we're just going to do some stuff sometimes people's feelings are going to be hurt, though. People love taking this seriously. Yeah, that's because people are losers. Am I wrong? Fucking losers. I mean, and it will be mathematically proven that

everybody except for one person in this competition will be deemed a loser. Loser. Who do you think the favorite is? Who's running? I think Kelly's the favorite. Yeah? Yeah.

I don't know. There's a lot of Meek Phil, but there's a lot of anti-Meek Phil. Is Meek Phil running? Of course. I'll do all I can to get him to win. We're not allowed to be involved in this. No, no, you are.

Oh, man. You're in. No, no, no, you're in. It's my rules. And you're in. No. See no no you're in it's my rules and you're in no see now you're protesting it which is a different thing now i'm still in by protesting fuck it's your right it's your legal right just like sitting cross-legged on the how do you get votes i need meek phil to win and i want everyone else to be very upset and like take personal shots at him for that right right right

that's what we need and so it's completely intra-office. I think people are already starting to do that, like actually campaign against other people. You want to hear the full list? There's the list of 10 right here. The most recent 10 is up on the screen. Yeah, but we have the top 20. Where do you have that?

From yesterday. I don't think they want that out, but say it. I feel like that's what i'm on the act for was it uh was it an email sent say things that aren't meant to be said it was an email oh yes to us no ah okay this is the top 20 i say things that you guys can't say uh the truth teller you're like the fool at the medieval court yes so you You could insult the king and he'll laugh and bite into his turkey leg. Those top 10 were there, right? And then 11 was Glenny Balls.

12 was Vibs. But how many of these people were getting votes? Is this like... They have to have had votes because there's an order. This is the top 20 vote getters. Yeah.

Anyone... You had to vote for six people and you could put anyone's names in. Okay. So whoever... Okay. 12 was Vibs. 13 was Sass. 14 was Rhea.

15, Smitty. 16, Tech Guy Andrew. Oh, no, Francis. 17, me. I lost to Tech Guy Andrew. But so did number 18, who was Grace. Number 19, Cody. And number 20, Tom Mullins.

Ooh. Is that you, Ron? So I'm all for this because people will take it seriously and get sad and mad. That's why it's fun and funny. For what it's worth, I went around very vocally and said, I am not running. I do not want to be considered for this because I wanted to avoid any scenario where I could be mocked for how poor my results were.

And yet somehow, in spite of that, I still ended up on very low on the list, which I suppose is fitting. We have to choose the top three today. Are there any perks for whoever wins this round? Bragging rights. Tommy will brag. Confidence boost. And just like.

They should get a cool jacket. They get the Barstool Beast jacket. Really? Yeah. Do you remember Obama when he went to like the final four of the NCAA tournament and he had a. They gifted him a tan suit. No, he had like a.

He had like a bomber jacket that said 44 on it. Sick. And it was so sick. We should make something like that. Yes. Something that people want. Yes. And you said the term is a year.

Yeah. I mean, it's a fake. There are no perks or responsibilities other than you get it. It's like the early Rough and Rowdy fights. Early on in Rough and Rowdy, we would be driving to a Rough and rowdy fight that was an hour from the remote hotel that we were at and you'd hear a radio ad for rough and rowdy and they'd be on over over the airwaves being like come down to the rough and rowdy tough man brawls winner gets a jacket and that was really the entire incentive of these guys to be able to fight in a tough man brawl like potentially like put their put their livelihood on the line and you could win

a jacket oh that looks sweet 44 right on the sleeve the sleevey that's a sick fucking bomber the inside story holy fuck he got it after he bombed syria yeah officially got this a literal bomber jacket this is earned now i'm just gonna try the bomber impression i'm gonna leave it i'm gonna leave it at home large must have some fighters in here my boy has given out clean daps all around is that the boxer who the good one i don't know we should get him in here we should get up from new york what's his name i I believe it's Jamel Charlo. Oh, that's Charlo? We should come in here and give us a boxer brief. I could be wrong.

Jack Charlo? Jamel. Jamel. Jamel Charlo. He was on the list of people that were coming in the office, so he must be in the office now. Yeah. Shit is sweet.

Just having a good time making up some shit. Tommy Smokes loves Skyline Chili from Cincinnati. Hmm. Wow. All right.

Are you guys wondering what to talk about? Yeah, it was more I went to the prep sheet and there at the top of the other was that and um... I got something really quick.

I have to fly to France tonight, and I wanted to ask you guys what your typical way of putting yourself to sleep for an overnight flight is. How do you approach a flight where you have to sleep? I wouldn't have slept last night. I do an all-nighter beforehand. Pull an all-nighter the night before? Whatever, yeah.

I've done that and it's backfired because then I couldn't fall asleep on the plane. Then you're double fucked. Where are you sitting on the plane? Me? I got business class. So how far does your seat go back? It becomes a bed. You don't have to worry about it.

I do, though. I don't sleep on planes. And by the way, that may sound like a douchey thing to say. I hoarded points and miles for two years to pay for this. 100%. And if you get, yeah. I think that you just got to have like a glass or two of white wine up there, bro. They'll probably have the bubbly in your system before your ass touches seat.

Yeah. Flight's at 10.30 p.m. I eschewed the meal service. Oh, what? That was dumb as hell. That's dumb as hell. Why? What if you're up and hungry as hell?

If it's going to be good, then go get something else. But it's not going to be good. I'm going to eat before the flight. It's going to be good. He's sitting in first class. He's not going to be good, then go get something else, but it's not going to be good. I'm going to eat before the flight. If it's going to be good, he's sitting in first class. He's probably going to have beef cake. When me and Tommy flew to London and coach,

it was, they gave us like this weird pasta and you had to eat it with like just a cracker, no silverware. Really? Yeah. Damn, that's not right.

Tinfoil, fucking, yeah, these are tinfoil meals. It's like a glorified, I mean, they only have a microwave on there. It's not like they're back there with a fucking hot stove.

Hibachi. Yeah, hibachi would be fire. The reason I didn't want the meal was because I want to maximize my sleeping time. And as soon as we get to cruising altitude and I can recline my seat, I want to pass out. Instead of having to wait another 45 minutes from that time

and eat a meal at fucking midnight. There's no secret. You take medication. Yeah. Yes, but I'm surprised that you guys want to eat on that flight. I'm with you. I just don't want to pass up a meal just in case I'm awake and hungry. Then you're waiting for the meal, which means you're cutting into your sleep time and it's

only seven and a half hours over there. But you know that if you fall asleep, they'll give you the meal when you wake up if you want if you take the meal service they're not giving it to anybody else it's going to be saved for you you could sleep as long as you want wake up and be like hey i'd like my dinner now even if it's you're about to land they'll give it to you is there something to be said about trying to orient yourself towards the time zone you're heading to meaning occident if i wake up and it's all of a sudden 9 a.m. France time, I don't want to have my beef cheeks at that hour. Yes. Beef cheeks is hilarious.

Is that the meal? I think it's beef cheeks. But that's the thing. You have complete control. You don't have to eat the beef cheeks. But if that's an option and you want them, extra credit. I think that the calories put you to sleep in some ways. They do. They do.

But I plan to eat at a normal time before the flight, perhaps even before we go to the airport. And here's another thing. I want to, once I get onto the plane, I'm going to take my Xanax, right? You're good to go. You're fun. I didn't to take my Xanax, right? You're good to go. You're fun. I didn't know you had Xanax. How high is your tolerance? I have no tolerance.

I never do. I think you'll be falling right asleep. Yes, but this is something I've been warned about is that I want to make sure I take my Xanax once we've actually taken off. Because if you take it the second you get to your seat, you'll pass out. And then there's a terrible chance that you might wake up two hours later and you won't have gone anywhere because there's a delay. And then you e-chewed the beef cheeks. You've e-chewed the beef cheeks. Yeah, you've wasted your bullet in a sense.

I think that that's a fair – but i think that the xanax and like whatever booze they're serving you i think xanax at 10 30 p.m is gonna do the trick yeah and i woke up very early this morning also if there's a delay so be it you still slept two hours yeah but then then if i were to take another xanax i just don't think it i don't know xanax do you got buddy hey i love you dude 30 pills of xanax do you got, buddy? I have a lot of shit. Share some. Hey. I love you, dude. 30 pills of Xanax. Very cool. What are you doing later? Xanax.

I hate when you have a flight like that and then you get to, what time do you guys land in France? 11 a.m. or something like that. And then maybe you can't get your hotel until like 3 or 4 or some shit like that. And you're like a zombie walking around whatever city just be like never have I felt dirtier

yeah you feel so dirty I want to shower you feel groggy you're in such a bad mood you're trying to like sightsee or appreciate something that's universally seen

to be a wonder of the world and you're like fuck the Sagrada Familia take another Xanax just sit in the lobby just gotta keep it going yeah now we have a we have a solid hotel for the first two nights,

and we got to go out to the wedding. Tough time for me to be traveling, though. I'm not thrilled. Why? This is a very – there's a renaissance happening at Barstool Sports New York right now. Fair. It's an up-up-up-up spring. It's like a Prague spring of ideas and cohesion and excitement.

You're afraid that you're going to be left out of the cohesion. Horrible FOMO. Really? Horrible FOMO. At least it's FOMO, not fear of being yelled at by boss. There's that too. I was told that Dave came in for two days and scared everybody. I'm told he's going to come for a surprise check-in this week,

and nobody knows when. To not let people know when he's coming to come for a surprise check-in this week, and nobody knows when. To not let people know when he's coming. That's a fear tactic. Who's telling you this? That was the scuttle. By whom? I can't even remember, but people were waiting. Right, that's so crazy that there's ghost stories about Dave.

Like, oh, he might come in at this time. People love this because they feel alive again. Yes. Their job doesn't feel soulless. Right. It is good to feel a little bit of just a little cattle prod. It feels nice. Yeah.

I've been on record for a long time that I'm going to this wedding. In fact, I cut the entire back half vacation we were going to take short. We were not even doing it. Because of? The Barstool Awards show. Right. Which is, I mean, you're a guy who got in trouble one time for the Barstool Awards show.

Have you thought about your attire? Yes. I mean, I'm probably going tux. I think I'm going to go tux. You need to do too much. I'm going to go over the top. You need to be told to rein it in. You need a monocle and tails and a tux. You need to do too much. I'm going to go over the top. You need to be told to reign it in. You need a monocle and tails and a top hat. You need to be dickheadish.

What's more than tux? It's tails. It's tails, yeah. What is more than tux? I think it's like being a naked king. I think it's walking around naked, oblivious to your own nudity. I think that's the only thing greater than a tux, is walking around and having no idea that you're naked because a seamstress told you it was the

most beautiful outfit yeah yeah i like that isn't that what it is yeah that's the next step i think it's the only thing past more fancier than a tux what about an embryonic sack yeah yeah if you could get just a big ass embryonic sack i feel like if you could get just a big-ass embryonic sack, I feel like that'd be perfect. Symbolizes your rebirth at the company, which is beautiful. Oh, that's full circle. Yeah, that is full circle. Gilly the King is in here.

Gilly, I'm the King of Philly, yes. Fucking love that guy. Him and Large, you know there's a boxer in here. Oh, it's a Philly boxer. Oh, yeah, he's swinging on a here. Oh, it's a Philly boxer. Oh, yeah. Look at him boxing. Oh, he sees shadow boxing. Still going.

It's like an 85-punch combo. Keep going, Gil. And then he laughs. Oh, man. That guy is so much fun. Did you see the car that Wallow bought for him last week? Yeah. Bought him a car?

They are always buying each other cars now. It's fun shit. Who do they think they are? Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer? It really is some shit like that. They're a Hitler's teacup away from being two bears in a cave. I can't believe it. What was the car?

What was the model and the make? It was like a three-wheeled car. It was like a bike life car. Sick. I actually really like those cars. I think that I would like to own one of those one day. Tell Gilly. You mean a lot to him.

Big Cat's always talking about Steve and Che, Job for Life, blah, blah, blah. He should be buying you a fucking three-wheeled car. Is it a car? Is that what it's called? Or does it not classify as a car? It might not even be a car. It's definitely some type of vehicle you can drive on the highway. You wear like this.

Cast out. Cast out, cuz. Let me go get the keys. Cast out, baby. Cast out, cuz. Oh, is that the reveal? Yeah. First he went up gas and wallow.

Look how pure that is. Oh, he bought this for me? I don't want to see it. Please show the car. The car. Found it. He's running. That's something the culture has over us.

Running around after something crazy happens. Crazy or funny. Magic. Magic or comedy. We just start crying. Getting a card, you just do the little, you do a little run. Brand new. That's you. Meek said he won't come get it. He won't know what to do the little you do a little run brand new Wow do with that? That's you, guys. Cash out. Where's Meek? Meek right here. When could he drive that?

Is Meek there? Is he hiding? Now you think he's a bike life member. Now you think he's a bike life member. Now you think he's a bike life member.

This nigga. Now you think he's a bike life member. This nigga. Day 50, day 53. This is so cool. It's really cool.

We should start getting each other stuff. I wish I had a podcast successful enough that I could. This is so cool. It's really cool. We should start getting each other stuff. I wish I had a podcast successful enough that I could buy my co-host a fucking vehicle. Nope, your co-host. What happened here? On a whim. What co-host? He walked up to the window and then walked away. Yeah.

He's on the phone. Now he's the host. Fuck. The the host. Fuck. The popular host. I just want to know more about that lifestyle. That's such a sick lifestyle, buying cars to each other. That is cool.

Makes you feel like we're paying him too much. I don't know. Only one show is buying cars for each other. All of our shows should be buying cars for each other. Why don't we do that instead of eat off of each other? Loser buys the winner a car. It could be a lemon. It could be destroyed.

Cars are, what's like a, I mean, you could get a cheap car for cheap as hell. Dave can buy a barstool for $100, or like a dollar. How much is a car? We could get a car for fucking cheap. Should be dollar cars. We could get a cheap car. But do you have to actually have it? Do you have to actually get it?

I just want the deed that I have. Yeah, just the deed is kind of more important just being the owner of it. I don't know. Just start buying each other things.

I know. Well, you do sometimes, Nick. No, it's stuff I want but then somebody compliments it and I'm like, they'd like it more and I give it away.

But no, you got me a book that had no ease in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a big poem. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was cool. It was a got me a book that had no ease in it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a big poem. Yeah. I thought it was cool. It was a long ass story with not any ease in it. Yeah.

And it's more just good to have. Probably, you know, neither of us read it. No, no, no. No, but it's more of a thing that just to have and to hold. I guess that's our version of a car. Yeah. I guess that's probably commensurate with our value at the company. An E-list book.

A book with no E's. A book with no E's. That's the fuck I'm talking about. What is your favorite Barstool memory not involving yourself? Mine was when Gilly and Wallo bought each other cars. I fucking love that memory. Each other?

I think that they've both bought each other cars before. Wallo! Legend! Good to see you, bro. We were just watching the video Of you buying Gilly a car Whichever one you want bro This is really dealer's choice We got four mics for you to pick from

Is that classified as a car Or is that something else That's a slingshot A slingshot Yeah you know I was doing a little I said it's his birthday I just got up and said

Let me go take care of him Get him something He wanted that And they didn't have him When he was looking for him So they got him in And I hit the dude I birthday. I just got up and said, let me go take care of him, get him something. He wanted that, and they didn't have him when he was looking for him. So they got him in, and I hit the dude. I was like, I'll be there. I like that retired hat. Yeah, thank you, bro.

I was supposed to say another R word, but it got misprinted. So what happened with – like what cars were you guys driving when you first signed with Barstool? Oh, what did Gil have? Gil had a BMW. He was already – Oh, he was lit. He had a BMW, gill have gill had a bmw he was already oh he was lit he had a bmw a nice one i had a uh you had the flintstones car where you were pedaling with your feet i had when we did i had a minivan hold up no no i just had the prius oh the prius my other minivan

i traded my minivan in i traded my minivan and it was a green uh dodge minivan i had and who backdoor bobby or what no not backdoor bob i gave the guy five hundred dollars right and i traded him gave my homie g he got like a mechanic shop he like a shop dude you know he's just a legitimate mechanics you know got his degree and all he one of them guys i traded energy he said man because something was happening with the minivan. So I went to go get it fixed. He was like, he fixed it. He's like, man, you keep coming back with this. I can take this. Because he let me drive the Prius

when my car was getting fixed. He said, give me this car and $500. And I got the Prius and my life changed. $500? The Prius was everything. Wow. Because you save on gas mileage. 57 miles per gallon. Legend. Back to New York easily. Easily.

$27, fill the tank up. Half tank gets you to New York and back from Philly. You still have it? No. Now he has awesome cars. What do you got now? Now he has a bunch of awesome cars. Oh, man. Worst to best?

Worst to best? I wouldn't say that because my minivan is my favorite. I got a white Dodge minivan this is unbelievable 2014 it's white on white caravan minivan

it's legendary we had it at Gilly Fest what else I got I got a does it have a DVD player in it no I don't got nothing in it I just don't got nothing because I listen

I just have my earphones on in the car so I just listen to stuff I got a you wear your headphones while you're driving yeah yeah it's something about it I just have my earphones on in the car, so I just listen to stuff. I got a – Do you wear your headphones while you're driving? Yeah, yeah. There's something about it. I just love it.

You know what I mean? I was told you weren't supposed to do that. I ain't know that. See? I learned something new every day. He doesn't care. This man's a lawbreaker. I listen because I ain't got no radio in there.

Oh, there's nothing in there. In 14, they definitely had radios available. I don't know. And I just And I gotta And I just listen That might be talking to somebody I just listen to some music

And what else I got I got a I got a A Mercedes Benz No hold I got a 1992 Lexus Lexus LS

Classic Classic I got a Mercedes Benz 63 AMG GT That's like my fast Stick shift? No I got a Mercedes Benz 63 AMG GT. That's like my fast. Stick shift?

No. Automatic. I got a Lamborghini 2023 Lamborghini Huracan. Oh, now we're talking. Now we're cooking with gas. Maybach truck. Oh, those are nuts. Are that just those five?

Yeah, I forget the rest. Where do you keep them, though? I got garages for them. Hey, Wallo, I'm Francis, by are nuts. Just those five? Yeah, I'll forget the rest. Where do you keep them, though? I got garages for them. Hey, Wallo, I'm Francis, by the way. I know who you is. You're the comedian. Oh, that's so kind. I'm thrilled.

You'd be in the airport. I'd be saying Francis is in the airport. He performs at the airport. Yeah, he'd be right out there here and say something. Yeah, he does. Do we run into each other in an airport? No, I see you on Instagram. Oh, he's at the airport. You're traveling around.

He always is going through the TSA pre-check. And he'd be doing stand-up. Yeah. See, Wallow's locked the fuck in, dude. Honored. I'd be seeing you everywhere. You'd be doing your thing. You are much better off than I am, and I am impressed.

Well, you know, I believe, I wouldn't say better off. I think. You're doing better, and I look up to you. I'm going to say this, though. He only has the one car. Francis only has the. B look up to you. I'm going to say this, though. He only has the one car. Francis only has the. But see. Bought it for my parents.

You got to understand this, though. Better. I don't know. I don't know. You know, you can measure that difference. It might be somebody. You can measure with dopamine levels. It might be somebody living in a efficiency with no car that's doing better.

Like karate. Yeah, karate is everything. Good point. Karate is all over the place. Karate is life. I never see it. I don't know. He's a guy. Karate is a guy. Well, karate is everything. Good point. Karate is all over the place. Karate is life. I never see it. No, no, he's a guy. Karate is a guy.

Well, a quick question. It looked like you were on a FaceTime with Meek, and I'm assuming that's Meek Mill? Yeah. That's so great. Yeah, that's my guy. I'm a big fan of him. And at one point, he had listed a car, which was a bulletproof SUV. I've been in it before.

And I DM'd him to ask if I could purchase it from him. He thought you were selling it. Because I tend to stop traffic on the shoulder when people are using the shoulder to cut traffic because I like to make sure

everyone's abiding by the unwritten rules of the road. And people have pointed out that it's a very dangerous thing for me to do. So I wanted a more safe vehicle. And I thought that Meeks bulletproof SUV would be the perfect car for that. But he never got back to me. Oh, yeah.

He probably got a lot of DMs. You think? What was he selling it for? $140 or something like that? I don't know. There's a price on it. He wanted it just to fuck with people. That's exactly what I wanted.

I wanted that car. I wanted that car. What would you do if you saw somebody wearing headphones while they were driving? Probably sign language. Yeah. Probably something pretty quick. Hey, heads up. I gotta update these mics and these earphones. Can't hear too much in them. Yeah, you can't, dude.

Listen, I was arguing with a friend earlier. I got multiple teams. I might be starting off with the Bills. But who's going to win the Super Bowl so I can bet some money on them? Come on, bro. How are you not going with the Eagles? I went with them last year. They lost.

I wound up being the Chief fan. Give me a while. I'm going with them. They fucking lost. Lose, I'm done. It's the home team. I just saw some slam interview. You saying the Sixers were going to win the championship.

I would ride with the Chiefs again. I'm 49ers. What about the Bills? Bengals. The Bills is good. Oh, Bills? The Bills is a good. I think the Bills are a good bet.

I think that they're a fair bet. I looked on Google. They said the Chiefs first, then the Eagles, then the Bills. The Mike got a chance to win in the chip. I think that the Bengals could be in that conversation as well. Switch headphones if you want. The Bengals could be in that conversation as well. Switch headphones if you want. The Bengals,

you think? Yeah, let's see how this sounds. It'll sound better. The Bengals? I think Bengals could be. I don't know. Are you betting on... They lose their quarterback?

I think he got a little hurt, but I don't think he's hurt for the long term. I don't want him to play the first five weeks or something. His calf or some shit's hurt, but he'll get better.

He'll get healthy. It won't be bad. I don't know. Are you locked in on football like that? You don't give a fuck about football. I'm going to tell you something. One of the greatest parties I've ever been to in my life when the Eagles was on their way

to the playoffs. They was in the playoffs right away to the chip and all that. The Barstool Bar in Philadelphia and Samson Street. It was a fucking zoo. Oh, I bet that was unbelievable. Let me tell you something. People are fired up. Listen, I bet that was unbelievable. It was a movie over there. Let me tell you something. People are fired up. That shit is, listen, I never see a spot in Philly where the line be so long.

And it's every week. It's wrapped around the block. Yes. It's just like the place to be. It represents Philadelphia in such a way. It's so big in here. But, you know, it seems like it's just unlimited space. People are going there to meet their loved ones.

People are going there to fall in love. Oh, yes. People are going there as sports fans. Yes. By the way, your lawyer's been texting me. He wants to go to a Villanova game. Oh, John? Yeah.

John? Oh, yeah, John. He's like, let's go to a Villanova game. John Miranda. He's a legend. What was his name? Sounded like John. John Miranda?

No, no, no. John Miranda? John Miranda? Miranda. Miranda. Oh, you John Morant. No, no, no. John Morant? Miranda. Miranda. Oh, you have John Morant. Miranda, yeah. He's fantastic.

He's like, I guess he has Nova season tickets or something like that. He's a legend. He's a Nova legend. Yeah. You guys, at your birthday, did you, by the way, did you ever open your birthday gift I gave you? Fuck you, man. You opened it?

Oh, yeah. I heard about this. I heard about this. What was that? Did you open it or no? What did he get you? Fuck you, man. You opened it? Oh, yeah. I heard about this. I heard about this. What was that? Did you open it or no? What did he get you? I left that shit in the hotel. What shape was it so we could guess?

I couldn't believe this guy. I said, what the fuck? It was crazy, man. It was like this long. It was. That was just one of them. There was some other stuff that you could have got. He had a bunch of creepy stuff.

Like bunny ears and stuff in there? He had a bunch of wild shit. bunny ears and stuff A bunch of wild shit But I'm gonna say this You know what I miss I miss when you all Used to be running around You and Caleb

Yup And you and Caleb Y'all used to be running around Y'all used to be Y'all had a fucking I thought that was gonna be big Like that was gonna be Just something big

And then you stopped I did too Everybody's wrong Every once in a while Yeah but Dude I'm too old to be going to colleges like that No you're not There's a bunch of losers that still go to college

You know how many universities I went to And there's dudes that's 40 that be sitting in it And you go inside the fray house They're sitting there Still got the old chair Telling me yeah cause when we was here Yeah that is a That's loser life

That's a classic He doesn't want to be a loser Does he Why don't you Because that's like a Bruce Springsteen... It's loser life. That's a classic. He doesn't want to be a loser. Why don't you? Because that's like a Bruce Springsteen song. It's like glory days. Like fucking, I don't know. I'm not trying to relive glory days. I'm trying to make today the glory days.

You know what I mean? You know what's crazy? You know, like Boris, the thing that's so good, this is an inspiring place for people, especially if you're a creator, because somebody today could literally go in one of these rooms or just sit right here out in the hallway

with one camera. And when I say a camera, I'm talking about a phone on a tripod and create a show that could be so big. Right. This is the most powerful weapon that we have. That could be big in 60 days. Like, a person could say this.

You know what a person could do? They could call it outside the office or something. Now somebody take this, they could go outside in front of the fucking building and ask random people like one question or it could be, you know, question of the day. Yes.

I think that that shit could pop off. I'm talking about, you know what I mean? It will be people to come down here. Writing this down. Listen, it will be people. It will be people that will literally,

I'm talking about literally people that will come by just to try to get on this show. It'll be like, remember when MTV had TRL

up there and everybody was crowded around outside for TRL just for a chance to see Carson Daly talking to Christina Aguilera.

The problem with creators today that I look at and be like, oh, y'all pussies. I see so many great ideas, but I always say to myself,

it's not going to be around in 30 days. They're going to stop. That is the biggest thing. People stop. They weren't about that Instagram. No, you're not going to be able to catch that moment or that viral moment

that's going to get you to a bunch of followers or subscribers or whatever because it might come in 45 days. You might stop in 10 to 12. What if the first 20 are unsuccessful? What if you're getting shit on? That's to build up.

The first 20 is where you're learning. You're learning your style. You're learning the questions. You're learning what work and what don't work. That's like the learning phase. You know what I mean? So you don't want to get embarrassed if you're a failure? Fuck no.

Listen. Let me tell you something. If you're a failure Fuck no You think Listen Let me tell you something Like if you look at me I just didn't give a fuck I did videos I didn't give a fuck He be lying on the On the pavement

With ketchup on his face You know why Cause nobody else Everybody was too cool to do it Yeah See we living in a time Right now where it's though It's about

This phone Right now This is Revenge of the nerds It's highest form. The people that can think are going to win out here. Not the people that's scared.

Not the people that's cool. Not the people that, you know, overthink shit. You're not going to win. The overthinkers is in trouble out this motherfucker. You just got to get up and do it.

Whoever thought Caleb would have that shit, what's his name, sitting there eating ice cream. Now, you got some of the biggest motherfuckers in the world on the show.

Plenty of balls. Think about that. Think about that. You got Drake, you got all types of motherfuckersuckers in the world on the show. Lenny Balls. Think about that. Think about that. You got Drake. You got all types of motherfuckers just dying to get on that show and ask them questions for them. But people probably thought that was bullshit at the beginning. You know, this has become a volume game. And is there any part of you that fears that the quality is just so diluted, the bar is so low that it like, all content sucks now? No, I believe that

everybody, alright, first of all, there's 8 billion people on the planet. So everybody's not going to see it. You can tap into a whole new fan base. One of your videos might go in India tomorrow and you're out of here. So it's never over. It's just about staying consistent and you got to keep,

like me, we got a bunch of different shows. The Adventures, we got a bunch of different shows. The Adventures, we got a bunch of different shows now. Wildo on the Streets, Where's Wildo? So it's like you got to be an octopus in this and have break-offs. You got to be connected with Barstool doing your own Barstool. All right. What about if you film something, you watch it back, and you think it sucks?

You still put it out? I'm putting my shit out. I don't believe shit sucks. Because now I'm's overthinking and being over critical itself like i can't i gotta let you decide that as the audience and if it suck go ahead comment about it thank you all right send it because if it suck and they don't like it and they comment they're gonna send it around to people look at this guy it's fucking it don't matter it's all marketing man the bottom line is you just got to get up every day and do this shit either you're going to do it or you don't that's why we make so much shit happen because we me and my cousin we don't give a fuck you don't get if you're going to like it or don't so what so you're against like say taking three months to work on just one project i would never

do that all i did was this all i would do would grab my phone and that's it when we started million dollars river game we didn't even know what a fucking podcast was what we did know was that Spotify came out with an article said that Spotify allocate four and a something million

to a podcast in the first first quarter of a year and it was 2019 we said okay I said it to Gil he said okay let's go

but within a week later we was shooting a fucking podcast we didn't think all the thinkers all the super thinkers and planners they're losing. They're on the sideline watching me.

They're watching me win. See, one thing about America is like this now. One thing I love about America is this. And DJT said this one time. I was reading a book when I was in prison called Thinking Like a Billionaire by DJT. Donald J. Trump. Right. President.

PDGTT and he said the greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn't take if you live in a place where as though you could do anything the fuck you want

even you could go to Ivy League or you could go to jail you don't have to go to jail you don't have to go to Ivy League you could work at fucking Starbucks and become a millionaire

damn and that's from DJT yeah DJT said the greatest regrets explains the red hat said the greatest regrets in our lives. He's playing the red hat, my brother. Greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn't take. That's fire. I don't really care about shit.

The sides. I subscribe to information. I don't beef with information. White, black, green, red. Purple. If you a blood or a crip, you know, Dominican or Republican. Whatever that shit is, yeah. Whatever.

It's blood or crips. Right. You know what I mean? It's all red and blue. And I don't have time to worry about that. I'm not going to be here forever. So while I'm here, I'm going to live the fucking life that I want to live. Now, you know, whatever people decide or whatever people agree on, whatever people like, that's their thing.

I'm not knocking them. Yeah. You know what I mean? I got to worry about me and my family and how I'm going to take care of mine. And I got to get up every day and I got to create every day to make sure I put security around my family. Fuck all that other shit. Bro, he's got a pretty good health protocol that you might like.

What do you know? It's like, can you explain it in like a condensed way? Opamine conservation. I put myself in purposely uncomfortable situations so uh everyday life feels better and what you put yourself in an uncomfortable situation uncomfortable situation for you like a cold shower dancing in the park dildo for your birthday semen retention man i've been no porn i tried it that's man. It's hard not to jerk off. You can jerk off, but not to pornography. He said non-stimulated jerking off.

I can do that. It's healthy to masturbate, but the pornography. You're talking to a masturbate specialist. I've been masturbating for decades, man. How did you do it when you were locked up? I had porn books, smut magazines. So like pictures of women or like the words and you were like. No, it was pictures. It was a real life smut magazines. So like pictures of women or like the words and you were like No, it was pictures.

It was a real life smut. What about like being in a room with another man though and having to jerk off? Well, you know, shit like that happens sometimes. He might be asleep,

you know, and squeeze one off. Don't get caught, but you know. Right. Just do it clandestine. Just sheet up like you use in the bathroom.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Shake the dice, get up out of here. Yeah, I mean, he's probably in the same situation. You guys are just trying to live, he's probably in the same situation. Yes.

You guys are just trying to live. It's probably uncomfortable for these guys to be retaining too much because that could cause testy situations. Oh, yeah. Anger. But I'm trying to put myself in a situation where I stop jerking off and stop watching porn. I was really contemplating that. So I'm really trying to go on a journey where I'll be celibate for a while too and just don't do nothing. Fully celibate? So not even vaginal?

No ass. No blowjobs, no nothing. Just really getting one with myself and the earth and just going on a journey. Yeah, that would be perfect. Yeah, that sounds cool for a couple of weeks and then all of a sudden you wake up one morning, your sheets are soaked. Yeah.

Your body might do it for you. You've come your bed. One of them, a wet bed. That don't, that, one of them don't, you know, wet dream. It doesn't count.

It doesn't count? As long as you don't do nothing yourself. Right, that's your, that's your biology kind of just coughing it out of you. But then you've had a nut and you didn't get to enjoy it.

Oh, you enjoy it. You do, you do enjoy it. I fully enjoy it. You're asleep. Oh, you're dreaming and that's why you came. The content of your dream. I fully enjoy it. You're asleep. Oh, you're dreaming, and that's why you came.

The content of your dream. I don't know. What happened to you? You had a show, didn't you? A few. And what the fuck happened? I started doing shit numbers, so I gave up. I'm an example.

Damn. You go out here. Listen, let me tell you something. There's so many ways to test shit when you're in New York. Get out there on the streets. There's so much shit that can be done. There is. It is.

I mean, this Apple's fucking. What about Chicago? Chicago, too. You could do a show called Would You Taste This? Right? Just run around with shit and ask people to taste it. Yeah. All types of stuff.

That's fire. I'm just saying. That actually is a really good idea. I mean, people. Would you taste this? how did you have that? Why are you giving that away for free? Because, a million dollars for every game.

Let me explain something to you. I'm never going to run out of shit. I can do whatever. As long as I got a phone, I'm not worrying about this shit. Do you eat healthily? Yeah, a lot of times I do. Sometimes I don't,

like, because I wind up watching documentaries, right? There's a new documentary called Poison. Make you don't want to eat shit. I saw that. I saw that. It's crazy.

It's like you can't eat nothing. Everything got something on it. Salmonella. It's like, what the fuck am I going to do? Even you eat fruits and vegetables, there's pesticides that are covering all that shit. It's possible. You literally have to grow your own shit or else you're eating poison. Hey, Wallo, can I tell you one last story tell me because you said that that mantra you live by which was uh

don't regret or something like that regrets on our lives are the risk we didn't take yeah that's very similar to a mantra that i used to know which was the greatest risk is not taking one which came from an insurance commercial that was playing when i was a kid and i remember when i was in sixth grade at the end of sixth grade we had a dance i'd never kissed a playing when i was a kid and i remember when i was in sixth grade at the end of sixth grade we had a dance i'd never kissed a girl and i was slow dancing with abby atwood and the song ended and i walked away and then i heard that mantra in my head the greatest risk is not taking one and i turned back and i said hey abby and she looked at me and i kissed her and that was my first kiss it was the best night of my life that's sick that was great that

is beautiful true story's a true story. And girls with, at that time, girls with. You went against the whole, the message. Yeah, I was terrified. Fuck it, but you did it. I did it. Let me tell you something, man. I believe people here, and I think people need to tighten the fuck up.

People working at one of the greatest companies in the world, Barstool Sports, is the shit. You got opportunities to do what you want. This is a place where it's though, it's filled with ideas. It's filled with every tool you need to bring the idea to life. I think people got to stop bullshitting around here. I couldn't be here all day. If I was here any day, there'd be so

much shit going on. It'd be like, man, I'm telling you, I'd be creating all types of shit because all you could do is go in the camera room and we got our own cameras. We got our to me. We got our own cameras. We got our own equipment. We got our own spot. So a lot of our shit is like, but when I see people that just sit up in here, man, there's so much you can fucking do here, man. Totally.

People need to stop fucking around. They need to actually do shit. Yeah, you got to do shit and stop playing, man. You know what I mean? Like people, this spot is the shit, man. Opportunity of a lifetime the information that I got coming to Barstool about ads about sales about advertisement

about the business of podcasting about the business of content is unmatched I educate some of the people some of the people that people look to on different shows with outside

outside of Barstool just people that got podcasts people that got they come to me you know especially within the culture you know I mean

black culture whatever everybody come to me Wallo how we do this and I give people this what I mean? The black culture, whatever. Everybody come to me. Wow, how do we do this? And I give people, this is how you do this. This is how you get ass. This is how you make a deck. This is how you do it. And I just think I learned it all from just coming here and asking questions,

walking around the office, talking to people. Being a sponge. Being a sponge, man. But this place is one of the greatest places on earth, man. You know, I appreciate Erica, Dave, Gaz, the whole team. And there's plenty of people that I was connected to that left that was great people here. Jen,

you know, everybody, Deidre, it was a bunch of great people. But like MB, Kelly, it's just a bunch of dope people at Barstool, man.

You know? And anything is possible here. Max, Steven, were you about to say something before Wallo goes? I nominate Wallo for New York City President.

Oh, that's my guy, Steve. Steve, Steve. Listen, man, that's my guy right there. He's amazing. Steve used to send me the ads early in the game. He used to make sure I got all the ad reads. And now he became content. He, man, that's my guy right there. Lazing. Steve used to send me the ads early in the game. He used to make sure I got all the ad reads.

And now he became content. He's a legend. He blossomed out of the ad world, and now he's part of the content. Yeah, we're having an election for New York City, who's going to be the president of the office now. New York City? No, no, no, no. You don't want me president of the office. Right.

If I was president of the office, I'm coming here, and I'm firing a bunch of people. I'm cleaning this motherfucker up. Maybe we do want you. I'm going to get this joint a digital facelift. Cleaning it up. I need top flight editors rooms. I'm bringing a whole different style to this joint. I need top flight editors. I need motherfuckers that can top flight

sell closers. Top flight like read dollars. If he got a show, I need somebody to get some ad money for him. I don't give a fuck if it's a pickle company. I need everybody to get ad dollars. Because what it do is start. I need somebody to get some ad money for him. Right. I don't give a fuck if it's a pickle company. I need, you know what I mean? That'd be awesome. I need everybody to get ad dollars.

I need, because what it do is start. I need the proof of concept. I mean, so, you know, if I came in here to be fucking, a lot of people might got to go. Fair enough. I think that's good game, though. I'm putting a supervisor, a top flight supervisor, who ass is going to be on fire every day,

because I want to meet with them every day to see what the fuck did they, did they team of people do today. How much money we made in sales? How much advertisement? I mean, how much money we did in PR? I mean, how many companies we connected with in PR? What magazine? Is Rolling Stones writing about Barstool or any pods?

This billboard? I need to know all that. You know what I mean? Who's bringing it? Where the talent at? All that shit, different departments. Facts. I think that that has been a nice dose of, I think it's damn near, that's been damn near a million dollars worth of game right there.

I'll fire this shit out of people. Yeah. No, I appreciate it. Anytime you come in here, you always give us the time of day. You always know who everybody is. You always care. I think that your energy is contagious and we appreciate it, bro. You got to know what's going on.

I appreciate you all for having me on the Yak. We could use more of you. Yeah. Thank you, man. I just think. Me and you. Just, bro. You got to know what's going on. I appreciate you all for having me on the Yak. We could use more of you, yeah. Thank you, man. I just think. And you. Just keep praying. I got to go get this interview right now. Literally.

Thanks for the time. Appreciate it. What a legend. They got a silver market in here? I think that they got one in the control room. Where's the control room? In the back where the, he doesn't care. What a cool guy.

Cool guy. Cool guy. He knows you. I haven't taken a breath in like 15 minutes. Yeah, you were hanging on every word. He tranced. Yeah, he's the goat, dude. Speaking to my soul.

He's so nice. He's just so giving. I can't believe you didn't like the birthday present I got him. You got him a big dildo? I got him a couple dildos. One of them was massive, though, and they had to wrap it up like a baguette. And it was just sticking out of the bag. I had to bike home with it, and the bag ripped going over the bridge.

Literally, my bag of dildos ripped going over the bridge. And they fell all over the bridge. I had to stop the bike and go back, collect of dildos ripped going over the and they fell all over the bridge i'd like stop the bike and go back collect my dildos and then like fold up the bag so i could like hold it going over the rest of the bridge and he didn't even like it there was a dildo there was like a penis like water gun some bunny ears he said he left it in the hotel room and it makes you wonder you know what sort of things do the maids end up actually using? Yeah.

Yeah, they might have been like, yeah, they might have been pretty excited. They might have been like, hey, Martha. Because it was double-ended. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Hey, look, this dildo is still in the baguette bag. Uncracked dildo. Shall we?

People really throw away the darndest thing. Double-ended dildo never used is the saddest sentence in the English language. Double-ended dildo for sale. Never used. Mint condition. Saddest sentence. The plans we had. Fucking heartbreaking.

Holy shit. The wheel? Let's spin the wheel. Go to the Barstool store. 20% off. Carbone. Carbone. Damn it. Dry as a bone.

Damn it. We need to do some Irish carbones. You guys in tomorrow? In tomorrow. In tomorrow. I'll be in France. Poor bastard. Hey, I hope you sleep well on that flight,

but I'm also glad that you didn't leave in time for us to be able to have this nice long yak. It was a good long yak. I appreciate you. With one another. See everybody tomorrow except for Francis, who will be in France he'll know how France is

bye It's Diego here. Have a nice day. Bye. Was it a bye? Bye.