The Yak - We Finally Experience Our First Flasher | The Yak 4-21-22

Episode Date: April 21, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, we're back. We're back in New York. Back in the New York groove. Oh. Back. Back in the New York groove.

Hello, boys. Tape show yesterday worked, I thought. Yeah. Yeah, it was a nice little vibe. Yeah, so that's what we'll, that's our promise to you going forward. If there's ever a time when all of us are in transit or the majority of us are in transit, we will make sure that we have something taped. Well, I mean, me and Owen.

I said the majority. Me and Owen were here to do a show. I said the majority. We did a show anyway. Guys have done a show together, and it was a well-received show. I said the majority. All right. I would like to start.

Well, actually, let me tweet out the link of today's show because I want everyone to get in here and listen to the story I would like to summon. I'm going to say tweet it right now. Nick's about to tell a great story. About what? Live on air. What? Tune in. I think you know what it's about.

Oh. Okay. I don't feel like that's a nice story to tell. No, it is. You literally told me it. Yeah, but you've got to think about those four girls simultaneously. You literally told me it. Yeah, that's true.

It happens to the one of us. Okay. Nick. Yo, brother. Can you please? So, great time in Chicago. A dozen finales tonight. Yeah.

No spoilers. I won't even say who won the first two rounds because people, you know, it's hard to watch. There haven't been any spoilers. There has. There has. There has. People are saying that? Yeah, there was.

There's been an accidental leak the night of. White Sox Day tweeted something. Oh, he did. He posted an Instagram story, I think. But anyway, we're not going to spoil anything for anyone watching right now because we know the first two rounds just came out a minute ago and people have to work. So the finale is tonight.

Won't even say who's in it. What I did want to talk about, though, we went. Had a great time. Afterwards, one of my buddies runs a bar in Wrigleyville. So I was like, hey, can we come? We'll go upstairs. Like, you know, a little bit of privacy. It ended up being White Sox.

Dave literally told the whole crowd, like, come to this bar. You whispered to us what bar we were going to. Then Dave went back out on stage and yelled it into the mic. And I love White Sox. He's my favorite. He's my guy through and through. But so we went to the bar. I had a great time.

It wasn't like a crazy scene. Fun. Very fun time at the bar. Everyone's having fun drinking. And now I'm going to pass the baton. Actually, Caitlin. Oh. She wasn't there, was she?

Yeah, she's imperative to this. She always is. I'm going to pass the baton to Nick. Oh, God damn it. I'm going to pass the baton to Nick. Nick, take the baton. Caitlin, will you just stand there for a second? Right here?

Yeah, it's just a very funny story you should hear. Pass the baton to Nick. And Nick, go ahead. Yeah, so one of the... I'm not very good at this whole improv thing. It was Roan. No. See, you handed me the baton.

It's a funny story. There's no story to tell. What the fuck is going on? What is going on? What's happening? What story are you talking about? What'd she do? White Sox Dave. Oh, White Sox Dave was pointed to Caitlyn. He was like, I've been talking to that girl all night. What the fuck is going on? What is going on? What's happening? What story are you talking about? What'd she do? Now you have me.

White Sox Dave. Oh, White Sox Dave was pointed to Caitlyn. He was like, I've been talking to that girl all night. I was just like, yeah? And I was like, that's Brandon's sister. He said, no fucking way. That's my fucking enemy. That's my fucking enemy.

So that's the story. Sorry, that was the whole story. Was he talking to you all night? Mike. I just love the idea of White Sox Dave not realizing that was your sister. You guys share the same. I'm putting in work right now. Putting in work over there.

Yo, no one fucked this up for me. You're fine. Just talk up. Okay, I was expecting something else. No, no, it wasn't anything bad. It was just funny. He does that every time he's in New York. He points to a girl that works here. I was going to try to get him to twerk.

So I was like, hey, who's that girl over there? He's like, I've been talking to her all fucking night. And I hadn't said a word to him all night. He literally hadn't come up to me all night. But I still believe him. I still believe him. Yeah, he was talking to you. All right, Caitlin, thank you.

Appreciate it. Wait, wait, Caitlin, before you go, maybe you and Brandon need to do some family bonding because I feel like you guys don't really hang out or talk with each other much. There's not really anything necessary there. We're bonded plenty. What do you mean? You guys are brother and sister

and I'm always like, Caitlin, what's up with Brandon? Brandon, what's up with Caitlin? And you guys are always like, I don't know because we don't even really hang out that much. She lives her own life. She lives in the city now. She's still your sister. Everybody's parents are getting older. Soon siblings are all you're going to have. Jesus Christ.

I've got four kids. They also did glean some information from Caitlyn. About what? About the dog problem. I don't have a dog problem. Well. She said, I said, should we get Brandon a leash? And Caitlyn was like, they have a leash.

No one holds on to it. Right, he gets away with his leash on. Gets away with his leash on. Yeah, we got to the bottom of the problem. We need to get a cinder block. That's actually going to be the way people find my dog. It'll be the dog that's walking around lost with a leash hanging off of him. Just like the problem isn't the dog or the leash.

It's just we need a person to hold it. Because it rips the stakes out of the ground. It's that strong of a dog. When he decides to leave, he leaves. Get a fence. I have a fence. He never left Jersey. It was in Mississippi where he got lost.

You have a Mississippi dog problem. Yes. You know where he got to? He got all the way up to Southside Elementary, and he got all the way up to Brian Foods. He was all the way over there. I know. Mama's house. I was tracking him on Facebook.

You guys get a lot more Southern together. Yeah, what the hell? We were at Mama's house, and we were just over there. No, I was tracking him. Mama's house. I was tracking him on Facebook. You guys get a lot more Southern together. Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, we were at Mama's house, and we were just sitting in the porch. Motherfuckers code switching. I like this. I like them talking about their neighborhood like that. I did enjoy that.

What was the route that you saw the dog take? He got all the way to Supercorp. Brian Foods, Southside Elementary. All the way down. Brian Foods. He was in front of the Cheesecake Place. He was in front of the Cheesecake Place. Yeah, he was in front of the Cheesecake Place. That's where he was the Cheesecake Place. Yeah, he was in front of the Cheesecake Place.

That's where he was seen at 6 a.m. Is that where you found him? No, by the time I got up and was looking for him at 645, I found him in the Dollar Tree parking lot. Across the highway. Wait, which Dollar Tree? We only have one. You're taking the Dollar Generals.

Oh, he was on the Dollar Tree. So he was making his way back. We have three Dollar Generals. Yeah. So if he went to the Cheesecake Place, he was making his place back. We have three Dollar Generals. Yeah. So if he went to the Cheesecake Place, he was making his place back. Right, he was coming back, but when I saw him, he was going back north. He was

confused. Oh. And he was, it was a muddy field. He's a Yankee dog now. He was going north, dude. I got him in the car. Carpet bagger. Yeah, he is. He's abandoning you. And I went to, it's a shame Hoover's ain't open. I would have got some sausage rolls. I know.

Where did you find them? I found them in the Dollar Tree parking lot. Down by Brian Foods? Brian Foods is about a half mile away. I want a sausage roll. Wait, was that down Marshall Park or up the other one? Marshall Park's way across town. Super Park is the park that was close to him.

And then, yeah, he went past Southside Elementary into Bryan Foods. I think Bryan Foods is where he circled back because I don't have any evidence he went further east than Bryan Foods. All right. Can we get a map? Thank you for the show. How many miles do you think this dog – He went at least two –

How many acres? He went at least two or three miles. Keep going back and forth. Dollar Tree parking lot is a mile and two quarters. No, a mile and a half. Brady, sis. A mile and a half from my mama's house, which is on Truman Creek Road. He kind of went down this way, and then he went back this way and went that way.

He went through the... I think he caught the train track. I love this. He caught the train track behind mama's house. Oh, he caught the train track. He took that to Churchill Road. Is that an active train track? Oh, yeah.

Uh-oh. He took that to Churchill Road. When he got to Churchill, he just the train track. He took that to Churchill Road. Is that an active train track? Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. He took that to Churchill Road. When he got to Churchill, he just went buck wild. How many times in your estimation could this dog have died? Probably like 30. First of all, this is homeward bound. This is a highway, a train. He crossed the busy highway at least twice than we know of.

And he crossed it once at like 5 o'clock in the afternoon. This dog rules. This dog rocks. All of our Facebook people would post. They're like, I spotted him here. I spotted him here. But nobody would grab him. Nobody would stop him.

Right. They would just say. He had a leash on him the whole time. He didn't have a leash. He didn't have a leash. But I finally got him. And now he's good. He's at home.

Sam. He's a good boy. How much water did he drink when you got him? He had been drinking water all night, I think. The crick. Was he like super him? He had been drinking water all night, I think. The crick. Was he like super muddy? He was super muddy.

Yeah, he was caked in mud, and he had just rained the day before. So he's drinking puddles. Did he run towards you when you found him? Down by Brian Foods. You know that's in a low area anyway. In a low area. He ran towards me, yes. Okay. Oh, that's nice.

Ran a red light to get to him. I saw him from the highway, and I had to dart over there I ran a red light to get to him. I saw him from the highway and I had to dart over there. You ran a red light by Southside Elementary? Oh, he scurried down the highway? It would have been really funny if you ran a red light and hit another dog. Yeah, you ran over a dog to get here. We'd be fine with that.

Yeah, okay. Let's get a map here. Who don't know, Brandon lost his dog last week. You don't have a mic. No, week you don't have a mic no no that doesn't help that doesn't help that doesn't help you got to be in the mic use a laser pointer so I called Brandon I was like hey can I help at all while he was like mid trying to find his dog he's like you know that if you tweet about this people will just roast me I was like yep yeah good luck you need to show where mom's house is why don't you show us all right pull it back up okay lower left

hand see where the layer sign is? Don't put the exact address. It doesn't matter. There's the airport right there. Okay. There's an airport? Olden Triangle? Her house is right where that little pond is by the airport.

You're zoomed out too far. Brandon, do you want to zoom in on your mom's house on this show? No, I don't. I don't. So what he did was. That's not the pond. What he did was. He went from.

Pond's up there. No, no, no. No, no. Lower, lower, lower. Okay. Is that Old White Street? Lower. Right there. That's not the pond. What he did was. He went from. Pond's up there. No, no, no. No, no, no. Lower, lower, lower. Okay. Is that Old White Street? Lower. Right there.

It's a river. Higher. That's Tibby Creek. That's not a river. Ain't no way. That pond right there. It's a leak. All down Tibby.

That pond right there. It's not a lake. That's a leak. God damn it, TJ. This motherfucker has. TJ, you are infuriating me. Go up here. Now he can't hear you.

Your solution is to get. That's where we're starting. Okay. That's a pond? Yeah, it's like a little. That's not a pond. It's a puddle. I mean, he started with that pond, and he went up.

See that train track right there? He went up that train track to that street, Churchill, and he crossed right there at Churchill Road. Southside Elementary is way over here, and Brian Foods is over here by the cemetery, which is the big green thing. Where's the cheesecake store? The cheesecake store is over here

on the highway near the 25 sign. See that 25 sign right there? That's where the Cheesecake Factory is. Is Pico Foods just an off-brand Petco? It's a chicken slaughterhouse. Big freezer spot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pico.

There's Jubilations Coffeehouse right there. Did you go to Taco Bell? I know none of y'all are saying that fully. This is the highway? Yeah, yeah, this is the highway. That's where I found him, right there. That's where he ran the red light. I found him right there in that field.

That's a highway? That's a highway. Yes, it's a four-lane highway. Like a road. It goes all the way from the coast of Mississippi to Gary, Indiana. He went down that road and that road. Went down that road and that road, yes. In both directions.

This dog is a traveler. Where was he trying to head to? I don't know. He was lost. That's a nice gas station. It's kind of sketchy. Great catfish. We got lost at 2 p.m. one day.

I found him at 7 a.m. the next day. I was staying in that Hampton Inn, by the way. Indoor hallways. Yeah. Wait, he was just running back to your hotel. He didn't know I was there. Well, he was running back to Mom's house. What do you mean he didn't know you were there?

I didn't check into that hotel until after you lost him. Because I was mad at my stepdad for losing the goddamn dog, so I wasn't going to stay there because I was mad at him and I didn't want to yell at him so I went to the fucking hotel. So you were never going to... He was supposed to be at Mom's but he came to the hotel.

Yeah, but the dog knew you were staying at that hotel. He went to the hotel. At your scent. The dog had no idea I was at that hotel. Or did he see the car? He could have saw the car.

I saw my car washed. After he got it dirty I went to that car wash, Mr. Bubbles, and had my car washed. That's the hand that we stayed at. Did you wash your dog

in the car wash? I did not. I washed my dog. What's Twisted Burger? Oh, Twisted Burger sounds dope. That does. It's incredible. It makes them so twisty. Twisted Burger's closed, isn't it? It's not open anymore, correct? Oh, so good they closed. It's had beef and pork. Oh, that is twisty. Pork burger?

Very twisty. What's a pork burger? Hey, yo. Here's the Captain D's. Oh, Captain is twisted. Pork burger? Very twisted. What's a pork burger? Hey, yo. Hey, yo. Captain D's. Captain D's, yeah. Oh, Captain D's. He was seen in the Captain D's parking lot, too.

What's Captain D's name? Dave? I don't know. It's just D's. It's got to stand for something. D's nuts. Oh, Frank's here. Sorry.

Happy Thursday. That's good. What were you going to say, KB? Nothing. I have something to say. We went to like a hippie shop in Chicago. Hmm? In Chicago.

Thank you, Caitlin. You're the best. Tchotchkes and stuff? Tchotchkes, knickknacks, the works. KB bought that Jerry Garcia shirt there. I compliment him. He's been wearing it for three days. I bought. Sorry. I should have done that. I should have done that. Nah. I complimented him. He's been wearing it for three days. I bought...

Sorry, I should have done that. Nah. Two and a half days. I bought one for myself, one for Hank, one for Roan, one for Kyle, because they were all there. I said, we're going to remember this moment forever. Holy shit.

Those are tits. Those are the fake tits. No, they're not. Show them again. Who is that? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Pause, bro. What's going on? Are those real? Well, not real, but they were hers. Pause, bro. They're attached to the body. They're attached to her body. No.

What? No way. She just put her tits out. That's Rochelle Ryan. Rochelle Ryan. What's that? Rochelle Ryan. Poor star. That shit was not funny, bro. That's Rochelle Ryan. Rochelle Ryan. What's that? Porn star.

That shit was not funny, bro. That shit was not cool at all, bro. I'm not into that shit, bro. I shouldn't be whispered. I don't. That shit was whack, bro. You can't show tits like that. You can't just give a guy a boner like that, dude. What the fuck?

Oh, come here. Let's see if we can get Steven to get a boner. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Go ask. Go ask. Go ask Brandon. Oh, blue eyes. I'm not going to ask her. Brandon, go ask. I'll bring her come here. Let's see if we can get Steven to get a boner. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Go ask. Go ask. Go ask Brandon. Oh, blue eyes.

I'm not going to ask her. Brandon, go ask. Oh, bring her in here. Do not bring her in here. I'm not jumping in that jumpsuit. No, no. I want Steven and her to go into a room and see if Steven gets rock hard. Steve, do you think she could get you hard?

Right now? Yeah, right now. No, don't bring her. No, I had a productive shower this morning. Oh, God damn it. Gross, dude. What the fuck? A productive shower?

That's the grossest pairing of words I've ever heard. Not anymore. Productive shower? You guys asked. No. Oh, that's not what we asked. That's not what we asked. That's not the question that was asked.

Are you satisfied? Fuck this show. You could have just said, no,'s not the question that was asked. Are you satisfied? Fuck this show. You could have just said, no, you didn't need to come clean. Are you fulfilled? Thanks, man. No, fuck you guys, because where's the friendship bracelets? Ah, yeah. I'm burst off in my sleep.

Fuck you. You have multiple bracelets on. I know. Kyle, where's yours? I don't fuck with bracelets. I'm burst off. Go get it off. They look dumb as fuck.

Where's Hank? Oh, I'll fucking box you, bro. You promised he'd be on forever. It didn't make it a day. You looked at me and said forever. And we played hacky sack. Is it gonna be forever? Forever.

Y'all are just... Stephen, you own the home. Come wherever you want, man. There were tits right there. Why are you jerking off in the shower? Steven, go get a picture of her and have her be the caption. Get a picture with her. Oh, yeah, we need a thumbnail.

Thumbnail saying, porn star flashes tits. Gone wrong. That's, I mean, that's just YouTube 101. Steven gets hard question mark exclamation point. That was whack as fuck that she pressed her titties on the glass. Oh, yeah, because he's holding his boner back. He's holding his boner back. You could see him drawing his hips in to pull his boner literally backwards.

He's probably going to walk up to her and just be like, I would fuck you, but I jerked off in the shower this morning. I had a very productive shower. Oh, so gross. Honestly, that makes me sicker than anything I've tasted on lowering the bar. Yeah. Productive shower. Honestly that makes me sicker than anything I've tasted on lowering the bar Yeah Productive shower That's what he said when I didn't have my Yeah he said I had a productive shower

Oh wow Disgusting And he walks out look even Frank's asleep He's like fuck this I don't want to be here anymore Frank no offense but what did you think of those titties? He didn't even... Jordan Shrug. No opinion.

Yeah, pretty nice. Remember when you slapped the fake titties that Joey Kamasta had? Remember when you did that? What was going through your head at that time? It's just a nasty... You asked me to do it. It's the animalistic reaction. You went unconscious.

You got it, Steven? You were schmunk conscious. Satisfied. He looked so satisfied. I think he might have just had a productive picture. That boy just nutted himself. Did you just calm yourself, Steven? Yeah, Che, what was that?

Was she nice? He's taking his time. Yeah, I mean, she was nice. Quick photo. I sent it to you guys. It's probably a good-looking photo. What do you mean probably? How would you know?

I haven't gotten it yet. There it is. I haven't either. I don't want it. Yeah, so I'll send that to Garrett for the thumbnail today. You self-satisfied bastard. But, Nick, we did go to a shop, and we also bought some anti-Nazi material. That's right.

Nick bought me an anti-Nazi pin, and KB got an anti-Nazi hat. But it's also like— You're still wearing a swastika. Yeah, it's still a swastika. I have to wear a swastika. Yeah, it's hard to wear anti-Nazi shit anymore because you're still wearing Nazi shit. Yeah, I bought it, and I asked the guy.

I was like, he said he has one too. I was like, do you wear it in public? And he said, yeah, I wore it to the fuck racism parade in normal Illinois. Boom. You know, there's nothing more annoying than an Illinois Nazi. Blues Brothers. Oh, wow.

I hate Illinois Nazis. Blues Brothers. You guys probably didn't. I've never seen Blues Brothers. Is that a program? It's the Blues Brothers. It was a movie. There was a big Nazi.

There was a big rally. And they're like, Kyle Hitler. And he drives them off the fucking bridge. And they're like, did you get the Vest The fucking bridge And they're like Did you get the Like Vestibule Buell Did you get that license plate And he says Of course

And then they say 1060 West Addison Is the address Which is the address of Wrigley Field Here we go Got it Sounds good

I could get head on spy cam Oh that would be awesome That would be cool You ever hear the story of You ever hear the story of The making of bruise butters? No, but it's fun. Oh, tell us. What is it?

Segue. Segue. Basically, Carrie Fisher was snorting John Belucci under the table. What? Yes, Carrie Fisher was like doing so much coke. She was doing so much coke that John Belucci basically says, oh. He tapped out. He tapped out.

He said, that's enough. Carrie Fisher is the commander of the season. Is that a slang for coke? She won the coke race. God damn, bro. I was off that John Belucci. Damn, dude, I could go for some fucking coke right now. By the way, we have 70,000 subscribers now.

Hell yeah. What are we going to do with our plaques? Let's make it 75. Oh. Let's go to 75 right now. I want to have a case race. We said 100,000 is the next case race. Can we hoop at 75?

No, no, no. We're just giving it away. Yeah, we're giving it away. We're going to get 75 tomorrow. How about 125? Sure. Yeah, because we're going to case race at 100, we're giving it away. We're going to get 75 like tomorrow. How about 125? Sure. Yeah, because we're going to case race it 100, so let's keep everyone incentivized.

We'll hoop it 120. Jesus, look at that. We just missed 69.420. We'll hoop it 120. Hoop it 120. Was Playboy Marty just producing that episode with the porn star? I don't think so. He just gravitates towards the titties.

He's out of breath. Is he their producer? Nobody's seen more titty than Playboy Marty. The guy's swimming in it. He's swimming in titties. Oh, Roan. How does it feel rooting for the best team in the NBA? Wow.

Feeling good? I'm just glad they don't have James Johnson. Am I right, Frank? How about having Steve Trash? Oh, this is about to be you. This is about to be you. We're talking about you. Talk about that buzzer beater.

It's incredible. Best shot in Philadelphia since Allen Iverson stepping over Tyronn Lue. And who can argue that? Who can even argue that? Even if you want to sprinkle in Chris Jenkins, maybe. But A, that was on the road, and B, people argue whether that's a Philadelphia team. Brandon, can you think of any others?

Because I feel like that would be a good topic for you guys to talk about on your sling show. Yeah, no. Best shots in Philadelphia history. It hasn't been a great Sixers history over the last 15 years. Exactly, and now we're back. I love Meek Mill doing the front flips.

Oh, he's so good. He tells me pink. It's like perfect form. Rappers shouldn't front flip. Why? It's the least hard thing you can do. More should do. More should front flip.

No, it is not hard. You're talking streetwise right now. You're being toxic. Back flips are for the boys. By the way, Ron, can I tell you about baseball for a second? Backflips are way cooler. No. No.

No, I have a package they do. Look at the slow motion. Look how fun he's having. And his technique's really good, too. That's a terrific flip. It was Head saying he flipped in Times New Roman. Are you enjoying the pitching so far of Jerry's Familia and his 675 ERA and the beautiful balls? Dave's prep sheet says, White Sox Dave has never licked a pussy.

Flying hard out? I'm not even paying attention to baseball until we beat the, whether it's the Nets or the Celtics or the Bucs. I'm not even going to look at baseball until then. My basketball season's over. Oh, yeah, it is. Steve Trash is so bad. Yeah? How bad is he?

I think if he was coaching the Dream Team, they would not want to go metal. He is that bad a coach. I would call them the nightmare team if Steve Trash was coaching them. Well, hello. If you know what I mean. Steve Trash, if Michael Jordan was on his team, would have Luke Longley taking the final shot. Oh, yeah.

He's that much of a dumbass. Yeah, he's a dumbass. Steve Dumbass. Oh, it's Steve Trash. Steve Trash is what I like to call him. He is the worst coach in the history of sports. John Paxson took a final shot when Jordan was on the team. So did Steve Kerr.

So did Steve Kerr, yeah. But no, no, he'd have Luke Longley do it. I think Luke Longley could have pulled it off. I think. A solid 18-foot jumper like Bill Winnington. No, he'd have him take a 42-foot jumper. Or Rodney Buford. No, no.

Who else was on that team? Was Rodney Buford? He would. Dickie Simpkins was on that team. John Butchler was on that team. John Butchler. But yeah, Dickie Simpkins. Simpkins. Simpkins. Simpkins was on that team. What a name. Judd Butchler. But yeah, Dickie Simpkins. Simpkins.

Simpkins. They have roots in Ripley, West Virginia, I believe. Owen, why did you just go so dumb on that fucking vape cloud? Look at the vapes. They make any shapes now. The vape shapes are fucking... People are just puffing on whatever. What shape are you on right now?

Look at this. Kind of flat. That's pretty steep. Like a mystery airhead. Yes, he's had some? Look at this. Kind of flat. Yeah, that's pretty steep. Like a mystery airhead. Yeah, so he's had some weird ones. Oh, okay. It is mystery airhead looking. It's like a Play-Doh dispenser, how they all have different shapes.

You got some, like, 45-cal bullet-type ones in L.A. Those were neat. Holy fuck, dude. Sorry, Frank. What were you saying, though? Talking on bullets. Where were you? The Mets. 42-foot jumper, Luke Longley. Yeah. Steve Trash is literally... Yes. Sorry, Frank. What were you saying, though? The Mets. 42-foot

jumper, Luke Longley. Yeah. Steve Trash is literally... Yes, yes, yes. He has Goran Dragic dominating the first half, plus 20, takes him off, doesn't play him again, and they blow a 20-point lead. They don't get any spacing. He doesn't like them when they play defense.

He is the dumbest coach. Are the Mets still the best team in baseball? They lost yesterday. They're the best team in baseball. Best record in baseball. How could the Phillies beat them that one game? It's all stats. Baseball is just outdoor math.

It's true. All the fuckers worried about the wrong war. Heads doing Microsoft Excel IRL. They're actually playing right now, but they're off to a 9-4 start. They're going to probably win the championship this year, right, Frank? You know what happens with my teams. What? What do you mean?

That's every team, though, besides a couple. Facts. Oh, and I was driving around with my kids last week when you wanted to go down memory lane and talk about our weed smoking in L.A. Yeah, usually people give a heads up when they're on speaker. Yeah, that's it. 100% on you. Especially if you're on a live show that's a comedy podcast with your adult friends.

And one day you'll walk in the room and you go, I learned it by watching you, Dad. I learned it by watching you. No, I apologize. How many were in there? How many are scarred? Just two. Tommy was six, so it was the daughter and the nine-year-old.

Tommy already knows about weed. Oh, Tommy. Tommy's already rolling. I mean, he's a lighter guy. Plus, the girl's 13, so there's no surprises for her. Remember the movie 13? Oh, yeah. I think I watched it when I was 13.

I did, too. Fuck my life. What about that person? Weed's going to be like beer by the time they're of age. And crack cocaine will be like weed. My boy KB ate some edibles yesterday. Fucking drop it. You know, there's actually...

I've heard of a couple. How's that going? You want some? Days to day. Days to day. 421, yes sir. Yes sir. Today's the day.

New Jersey. Make weed review. Wait21, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Today is the day. New Jersey. Weed review. Wait. You said you would. You said you would. You said you would. You said you'd do an edible. Code 45.

We just found out that one of the dispensaries is literally up the street from me. All right, Frank. Let's help out the subscribers. Elbow. Actually, it's not in Belleville. It's in Bloomfield, but it's on the Belleville- I've been smoking that Nutley Loud pack. Nutley Loud.

Frank, if we get to 75,000 people by next Thursday, will you have an edible before you come on the show? Yes. Oh! Let's make it 80,000. Let's make it 80. No, let's push them. Let's make it 80.

Let's push them. You want to make 80? 80,000. Let's make it 80. No, let's push them. Let's make it 80. You want to make 80? 80,000 for pushing to do an edible. No, how about 75, 5 milligrams, 80, 10 milligrams? Oh, I was going to say. 5 milligrams will literally. Subscriber count on Thursday is how many milligrams. I don't want to smoke it, but I will do an alibi. Okay, okay.

All right, great. Great, great. Awesome. Hell yes. And maybe that will help me relax when I'm playing the keyboard next week. Should we do a live practice? Can I go get the keyboard? Sure, why not?

All right. Oh, yeah, that's the draft night. All right, you'll be fine because you'll take a little bit of an edible. You'll be fine by the draft. It doesn't last all day. Seven hours later. I don't know if he's off the nutley loud uh how would they fuck it up i love it i'm so excited for next thursday draft night you're about to be on high point state park

so we're saying 80 000 i'm gonna tweet you right now you know there is a high point state park in new jersey i know it's the highest peak in Jersey, isn't it? That makes sense. Yeah, they have a Washington Monument there. Redundant. A Washington Monument? Or what do they call it, an obelisk? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. Not enough obelisks. You know, if you go just a few miles away from High Point State Park, you could stand in a spot and be in three states at once. Tell me how. That's just not physically possible. Wait, wait, wait. Standing on all fours?

There's an area there. It's kind of like four corners. Three? Three. It makes sense. But it's like. Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey? Yeah.

Does Hank have the bracelet on? That's like on a clear day on the Sears Tower, the Willis Tower, you can see Michigan, Wisconsin, and Indiana. That's neat. I'd love to see that view one day. Just check it out. Don't go on that observatory deck. It makes you scared.

You're scared of heights so maybe you shouldn't go yeah I won't I can't even walk on an embassy suite really what do you mean like that

where they have the indoor the catwalk yeah yeah because that's you know what that is Lane Kiffin can't either really

you see him at the mall that shit was insane yeah he was cowering at the mall really he was afraid to fall off the rail. I don't have fear of heights. I have fear of impulse control.

Yep. I want to jump. I want to jump every time. And I'm not suicidal, but I want to jump. I don't. What would I do if I just jumped? Oh, titties. More titties.

He got top surgery. Yeah, he did. He did? He probably did, too, though. All right. Wait, one more. One more. Do something. More titties.. All right. Wait, one more. One more. Do something.

More titties. Tits, tits, tits. I mean, she did it to us once. Oh, Pat. Oh, Pat. Pat, those were awesome. That was really mean what she did. Yeah.

It was manipulative. She knows we, as a show, are love tits. Pro tits, yeah. Yeah, we love tits, but we hate cumming and pussies. Chill, bro. You were a shit face for that. Listen, what did you... People were mad.

I wasn't shit. I wasn't even drunk. What did Owen and Brandon think? All right, Frank, we might have to take away the keyboard. Just playing a little bit in the background. It's just, yeah, playing like a little bit in the background. It's like driving me insane. It's the music. What did you guys think of KB's, what is this?

Oh, laying Kevin Afraid at the mall. Oh, my God. He's so full of shit. You don't think that's real? No, he's on the second fucking floor. You got a puppy, too. That puppy won't run away. That's a weird thing to fake, though.

Yeah. It's also a weird flex by the daughter. You only thought I was a huge pussy. I was kidding. Isn't his son named Knox for Knoxville? Yep. That's tough. That's tough.

Good name. Yeah, I know, but it's like getting a tattoo of a moment in your life. It was there for one year. A child. Oh, no. Some people get tattoos for moments in your life. It was there for one year. It was there for a child. Oh, no. Some people get tattoos for moments in their lives. Didn't they name the garbage disposal after him at Tennessee? Did they?

I remember they had all the streets named after former Tennessee football coaches, and they had Formal Drive, Majors Way, and then they had... Garbage disposal was named after Lane Kiffin. Lane Kiffin, garbage disposal. I could see that. Yeah, because he was trash as a coach. Is he a glutton? He was glutton-free.

You know, you don't want that glutton. You don't want to be a glutton for a punishment. No. No, no, you don't. But, Nick, I realized the next morning that I had lost the friendship bracelet, and I think it was the knot. That's not all you lost. You lost the friendship.

Oh, wow. It's tough to hear. Say the same thing to KB, then. Fair. I told him that already. And give up his spot on anus to somebody who's more friendly towards you. Hank has the bracelet he's on. And Hank's wordplay is wicked. Does he have the power to kick you off anus to somebody who's more friendly towards you. Hank has the bracelet he's on. And Hank's

wordplay is wicked. Does he have the power to kick you off anus? No. And you kick him off? Yeah. He had a good moment. That bar with the batting cages. Oh, we had a blast. What a treat. We went to Schluggers.

I love batting cages. I was making solid contact. You were. Were you? He also did 40 mile per hour. Oh. Wanted to make solid contact. He did.

Roan went to the 70 mile an hour one and bunted every pitch. He had some good bunts. I was laying down. Well, your hands were hurt all day. I had to get on top of the ball. I was kind of popping up the first couple of bunts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how it is, Brandon.

Big strike zone for us fellows. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Remember when the Cincinnati Reds, they put out a little person to... Eddie Goodell. That was the St. Louis Browns. Ah, the St. Louis Browns. What number was he wearing? Three-eighths.

It was a fraction. It was a fraction. Was it one-eighth? It was a fraction. It might have been one Was it one eighth? It was a fraction. It might have been one eighth. You're a weed guy. I've already said his name, so I won this round. You said it first.

Eddie Goodell. Brandon's very upset that he wasn't invited. Here's the thing. They invited the one, two, three, and tenth round teams. Walking around just answering trivia that no one's asking. Now, here's a little. He asked it. Here's a little trivia thing.

The guy whose uniform he took was actually the uniform of the Bat Boy, who was like a six-year-old, five-year-old, seven-year-old, or something like that. And that kid's name? Bill DeWitt. Bill Clinton, I thought. Six-year-old Bill. And?

And? Yeah. Okay. He can't be Bill at six. No. He grew up. Bill, Billy, Willie. He grew up and is now the owner of the St. Louis Cardinals.

Is that true? That is true. I met him at Brewhouse. Oh, now you're upset because he just out-facted you. I'm dubious on that fact. Please fact check. Why do you doubt? Where's your doubt coming from?

Because he had it? Just all very convenient. It didn't come from Brandon's brain. It was convenient. By the way, I took a picture with a baby at the airport yes why nick saw it it's very weird it was weird they're like hey we're huge fans can you hold the kid and they were nice people very nice people i like that idea and and he i like that more than them doing it yeah i think it's like i don't know it's something to

show yeah i just hope that someday like something I do something terribly terribly bad and then that guy tries to get like a job as like he tries to run for office it's like what about this

Epstein yeah what about this look at him as a baby where were you flying with cats yeah you're on the flight logs

what was your cream pie take can you refresh everyone I love them it's kind of gross to talk about but I think really because you just talked about it for like

eight hours on the last show we did. I was defending a point. And I could tell you were drafting this when you were talking about it. We were drafting the top feelings that humans, I guess, feel. Sensations, feelings.

Did they put in coming? They said coming? It's a coming. Nutting. Nutting. And we went cream pie. We didn't take it. Oh yeah. Sensations feelings. Did they put in coming? They said coming? It's a coming. Nutting. Nutting. And we went cream pie. We didn't take it. Oh, yeah. We took yards. It also was the same as nutting. Yards.

Yeah, I mean. It was a weird draft. Yeah, that could have been. They didn't even make that point. They just said that's not a top feeling. It's like Hawaii within the United States. Like cream pie. I know, but they didn't even.

They were just saying that it's not a top feeling. Well, because the best part about the cream pie is it amplifies the nutting. But then you've got to watch. But any emotion you feel afterwards, guilt, shame, panic, is not a part of the cream pie. Yes, it is. No, it's not. You're not cream pie-ing When you're worried About the pregnancy afterwards

That's not a cream pie No I'm not talking about That's the effect So we went with Nirvana instead Which is a good pick The feeling of the pie Isn't worth the feeling

Afterwards of nervousness Yeah It's not like breaking news But I That's not the case Post nut clarity Like I'm no longer In the mood to be gross

And then you're That's gross And that's when you're Prime pie Yes You're pieing the mood to be gross. And that's when you're prime pie. Yes. You're pie-ing. Pie has to be,

the nut has to happen to have the pie. You guys are planting intangibles where they don't exist. I think the cream pie is the ooze out. Yes, that's what I said. And so really it's the worst pick of all time. It's, no. It's still not the worst because it's worth it. 10x is the worst pick of all time. No. It's still not the worst because it's worth it.

10x is the nut. But, yeah. 10xs? Realistically, 5 to 7. I was even going to give you 8, but 10 is a little generous. 10xs of a nut. What is Gaz doing here today? Is he firing someone?

It's got to be. It's firing day. He just asked about Harry, though. He asked if... It's like probably one and a half times. I would 100... I would 100%. I probably couldn't tell the difference.

Do a giant wheel with the entire company for one firing day a year. I think that would be electric. If it landed on you, would you leave? Yes. That's the electric part. It's all behind you. That's the part. That's the gamble.

You have to go into poverty, though. It has to hurt. Does one person get selected to get that salary? No. Oh. So it's only a lose-lose. What are you talking about? You win.

No, someone loses. It's a lose, not even, lose. What are you talking about? You win. No, someone loses. It's a lose, not even a lose. Oh, wait. No, you win by watching someone else lose. Let's put together a hypothetical firing wheel. Let's name off as many coworkers as we can. Okay. No, because I don't want to forget people.

Give it a trial firing wheel. Like, the people I want fired are the people I don't know. Yeah, well, definitely Chase Butler. Chase Butler. Put Chase Butler on there. They knobbed off Chase Butler. Oh, Chase Butler does so much. Oh, Chase Butler does this.

Get him the fuck out of here. They would toss a neck at him. I even had a fucking thing. I had like a project that on the email, they're like, we're going to kick this off to Chase Butler. I was like, what the fuck? This guy's taking over the whole company. He's playing a game of risk, and he's winning.

Yes. He's got all of Europe. Can we talk about the wheel idea that I brought to you earlier? Yes. We should spin the wheel. And yes. So Nick and KB and Owen heard this last night, but instead of a wet wheel, I would like to do a swirly wheel.

Swirly wheel. Fuck no. Oh, heirly wheel. Fuck no. Oh, we shut that down. Fuck no. Where one of us, not all of us, one of us will get a swirly with everyone on the show helping. When do you get a swirly? I think that's hilarious.

Is it face and all or just head or what? You determine that swirly is A, the funniest thing in the world, but also there's no way it actually happens. I know we'll do it, though. Any person it's happened to, at least 25% of them was willing for it to happen. It's a sensation that Swirly would do. It's so hard. It's worse than the waterboarding.

Put it on as a new slap wheel. Put it on as a new slap wheel. We're not going to. Those bathrooms are gross. Oh, I know. That's funny, though. One person has to get Swirly. Then we are gross. Oh, I know. That's funny, though. One person has to get swirly. Then we'll do something else the next time.

It's funny for one. I would not be able to get clean. I'd have to, like, I'd have to, like, bick my head. Yeah, no, it's funny for one. Put it on. That's a great. You make it like, dude, I need a tiny, tiny. All right, spin this one first.

One again. If we got it. Who gets fired? I think the swirly will be fun because we're friends. All right, Chase Then it would be for one person to get to it. I think the swirly will be fun because we're friends. Chase Butler. If you get swirly by a bully, that's the most traumatic thing that could ever happen to you. Okay.

Again. We choose the bat not that distance. This is probably why I'm a terrible gambler, but you realize that we're picking one person. It's not going to be you. Right. But I don't want it to happen to any of you guys. Oh, I do. Oh, yeah. That't want it to happen to any of you guys. Oh, I do. That'd be so funny.

It's so fucked up. Again, when your head goes down, do you go all the way like this? Yeah. I think it's mainly just your hair. It's your hair. Water's coming up past your face. It goes all the way to your nose. That's so gross.

That seems terrifying. And they flush, brother. Oh, it's clean water. You're going to get water-bordered with this. That's what I'm saying. No toilet here is clean. But we're going to do water bordered with this. That's what I'm saying. No toilet here is clean. But that, we're going to do it. You guys are not, fine.

You know what? If you guys don't want to do it. Let's build up to it. Let's build up. It should be a special. I want to do it. Everyone wants to be fucking. Does the person, they're allowed to fight it off or no?

Oh, that's a good element. I think it would be very hard. Yeah, y'all have to do it. I don't think we have enough manpower in here to swirly one of us. I don't think two could do it. Like, you have two minutes. Are you in for swirly wheel? I'm in for anything.

All right. Fuck. So here's the only rule I'll throw out there. Not anything. I think you could brawl out of it, though. Here's the only rule I'll throw in there. If it hits, so swirly wheel will be the new slap wheel. If it hits swirly wheel, we go to a secondary wheel with everyone's name on it.

Even if everyone's not here, everyone's name is on the wheel. So, like, if, like, Sass is in here and he gets swirly, when he comes back, we swirly hounce him. So, it's not like, because that would suck if you get swirly wheel and there's only three people here and then one of you. So, it's basically one in whatever nine ten but i think it should also be you want on it can i add a wrinkle to the swirly wheel i think it should be uh like a sliver in the middle of the wheel like the million dollars on price on uh on wheel of fortune so

it's like in between two things on a wheel like i think it should be very rare but i think it should be also like the tits so why'd y' So why'd y'all wave so hard at her? Did you think she was going to fuck you if you waved harder at her? I think it should be a whole piece of the pie. Probably. It's only going to happen once. Remember, listen, I'm saying we do it once,

and then we'll never do it again. People shit in these toilets constantly all day. I just walked past the girls' bathroom, and it smelled so bad like shit. So one of these women in here is lighting it up. If we're going to do swirly, we've got to reserve this bathroom. Again, I'm going to stress this. It's one time.

One time is awful. One out of, how many of us are there? Ten regular on the show. We're doing this. One person out of ten will have to be swirly. Their life will change forever. Yeah. But the audience will be the benefactor.

Yes. How are you guys not holding? The person who gets swirly gets the next day off. All right. Yes. And $1,000. The person who gets swirly. And $1,000.

$1,000. $1,000 that we crowdsourced. $1,000. Yes. It has to be worth it. It has to be worth it. $1,000 that we crowdsourced. They have to at least spin for the $1,000.

No, they don't have to spin. Oh, no. They should have to spin a wheel that's $0, $100, $200, $300. Then like negative. Up to $1,000. Up down to negative. Or just a 50-50 wheel minus $100 or plus $1,000. Paying to get swirly would turn you into a villain. I like having to pay to get swirly.

I like the money wheel for anything. Feaching into your pocket as your wet hair gets on your pants for $100 to give to the people. This is electric. You can't get the touch screen. You actually send them an extra zero. The swirly wheel is where slap wheel is. Secondary wheel of every member of the show. Tertiary wheel, you like that word?

Money wheel. Money wheel that's zero to 1,000. Negative 100 to 1,000. Negative 100 to 1,000 in increments of 100. Chase Butler gets to flush. One thing to clarify, there's two types of throws. I was picturing the one where you hold the person by the ankles. The other one is like put their face, and that seems –

No, it's upside down. Hold them upside down. And then one is like put their face in. That seems upside down. Hold them upside down. Yeah. And then flush the toilet. Yes. On their head. But I think getting them on their knees and forcing their neck down is more. That would be blowjob.

The wheelbarrow kicks down. Yeah. You guys wave so hard at that porn star. I was. I was. Oh. I love you. I didn't realize we did that. I have a dude to see titties. You see her as a porn star. Yeah. That says a lot about you. I didn't realize we did that.

I have a dude to see titties once. You see her as a porn star, so that says a lot about you. I saw her as an old friend. Yeah. An old friend who you sexualize, which is demonic. We wave to everybody that walks in. The first time we met her, she put her tits on the glass. She set the bar.

You didn't met her yet. You still haven't met her. The first time she came into my life was when her tits were right there. And you're about to come into her life. I would love to meet her. Let's spin the wheel now. I kind of want to go see if she left any. I want to see if there's like an imprint.

Titty residue? I want to see if there's titty residue. Any gunk? By the way, birddogs.com. Use promo code yak. I'm wearing my bird dogs right now. Fuck, they look good. They're so comfortable.

Yeah, they make your calves look bulbous. Thank you. Birddogs.com. I actually only wear bird dogs pants good. They're so comfortable. Yeah, they make your calves look bulbous. Thank you. BirdDogs.com. I actually only wear BirdDogs pants now. They're so comfortable. Use promo code YAK. If you use promo code YAK, I'll give the speech that we always give. Everyone wants us to be here all the time.

I know Nick and KB are on the road next week. Next two weeks. Boo. Boo. Nick and KB don't care about the YAK. Start using our promo codes. I'm going to go with them, too. Yeah, he's the social guy.

We should try to do the escape room tomorrow. Yes. Yeah. He had to tape it. If everyone's traveling, we should try to get one banked. Oh, okay. Okay. Either way, use promo code yak.

What? Throw in a free bird dog's hat. Bird dog's promo code yak.. What? Throw in a free Bird Dogs hat. Bird Dogs, promo code YAK. The most comfortable pants, joggers, shorts, everything. Bird Dogs. Wearing it right now. Shit, we should have done that. That's our fault.

What? The calendar. We should have done basketball and escape room. We just did a double show this week, though. It's tough to... I guess we could have just... We're busy. We could bang one out right after this.

Yeah. We could just bang out a W. A little W. You want to do a W tomorrow? I'll just dub you. I got to figure out if I'm in the... Oh, you got to go? That's because we couldn't do the case race originally.

Also, because Sass is gallivanting. That's a me problem. I'll own it. I'll figure it out. No, that's on me. I'm That's a me problem. I'll own it. I'll figure it out. No, that's on me. I'm going to own that one. He'll hand up. That's on me.

What's KB7? It's going to land on Swirly today. For whatever reason, it always goes right past wet. It goes right past wet. Always. I don't want any of these things. I don't even want dry. Me neither, dude.

What's in between? Wet has become such an afterthought. Shut the fuck up. Why would you say that? Brandon. You're right. Sorry. Spin it. Oh my god, Brandon.

Oh my god, Brandon. Are you serious? Are you fucking serious? I swear to God. Oh! Wow! Wow! Holy fuck! Let's eat some food. I fucking see it. I swear to God. Oh, boy. Help. Wow. Wow. Holy fuck.

Let's eat some food. I feel so alive. We added new chips. Oh, my God. How close was that, TJ? Let's see it. I have an interview at 2.30. I would have been so fucked.

Oh, my God. Are you dead? Oh, my God. I would have been so fucked I'm not even sure if that's correct That could be No wait we gotta see the one pixel Holy fuck

Holy fuck Brandon you're a dickhead We would have jumped you I would have Yeah we would have swirled you Holy shit That would have sucked I didn't even know it was programmed to be that close

I just knew I thought it would have jumped Does the tie go even know it was programmed to be that close. I just knew it. I thought it would jump. Does the tie go to the runner on that? Why is it? All right, spin the food wheel. And is it the same food wheel? Where are we at with the food wheel?

So we don't have KB on it anymore. Yeah, we took KB off as a human. Because that was gross to eat your arm hair, which I did. Your arm hair is not that tasty, bro. I think you're sweet like sugar. Free thy butter. Criminal undercover. Fucking love K-pop.

Who's your favorite member of BTS? Is it Rap Monster? A-Yang. Yin. Forget his name. Jimin. That was close. Yeah. Take Sunday Pies off, though.

We just had that. We just had Sunday Pies. Should we switch that with something else? Yeah, TJ gets it. Frank, would you like... Oh, TJ should. TJ should. You're right.

Tacos. I don't know what I want. Frank, would you like to just put something on the wheel? Spiced chicken. Frank, add a... What lunch would you like to... If it lands the wheel? Spiced chicken. Frank, add what lunch would you like to, if it lands on it, what should we order? Five, four, three. Hot dogs.

Hot dogs. My boy reinvented the wheel with that one. Thank you, Nick. Is it dealer's choice spiced chicken? Ooh, I should have put in fish sandwiches from Popeyes. It doesn't have the bracelet on. Oh, come on. Who wants that?

Happy birthday to you. For a cake. Happy birthday to you. See, I actually might have a cake ready for us. Oh, nice. Well, I had one, and then... We could order milk bar cakes. You go check the freezer next to the bar.

There's, like, the pizza freezer. He was acting like he doesn't know what a bar is. Or a freezer. Like he didn't go out with sass until 8 in the morning. I hate you, Brandon. You almost got us wet, Will. I almost did. I didn't.

I didn't. We're fine. We're't. We're fine. We're eating. We're eating birthday cake. And up, I just got triggered by someone online. Fuck. July 11th. Were they talking about Jay Wright?

No, they're talking about trivia. They're like, I'm doing the bad boys chant, and talking and yelling is ruining this. I'm like, it's a fucking live show, you fucking asshole. Could you imagine going and playing live trivia like you're on Zoom? Yeah. That would be the worst thing ever. You know.

That crowd was electric. The crowd started. It was amazing. The crowd started 80% of the bad boy show. Yeah, they were awesome. The crowd was awesome. It was so much fun. A live show will not be the same as a Zoom trivia show.

What are we supposed to do? Sit there like a... Yeah, that's what this guy wants. That's what the trivia hardos want. And I told myself I wouldn't get triggered by them, but they're so fucking stupid, they make me mad every time. Should I order a cake from Milk Bar? Let's see if we have this. Okay. And otherwise, I'll order

Milk Bar. I don't think they... It's an ice cream cake. No, it's just like a... The one in the freezer. Oh, that would be incredible. Yeah, that sounds wonderful. But the Milk Bar cake is still also very good. Six-inch birthday cake by Milk Bar. I'll have it right up in the queue.

No birthday bag necessary. $11 upcharge for a birthday bag? What does that even mean? Exactly. What am I even fucking buying? Milk bar is outrageous. I don't think the cake's there, Stevens.

I'm ordering this. I don't want Steven to be fucking touching anything I'm about to eat today either. Get a productive shower. That really is the worst sentence ever uttered.

Yeah. He was so proud. Consider the deliverer of the priority. I'm going to Twitter search that phrase. A productive shower? Who the type of people are that use it.

Productive shower. This is an $81 six-inch cake. It's so small. What? Six inches tall? Width? It might be in width. Oh, here he comes.

All right, we're fucking good. It's a cake. Boom. You got plates? He's touching. Happy birthday to you. Cut it up, brother. Apparently, Stephen thought his job was done there.

Happy retirement, Coach K. Bought this cake a while ago. There's probably a big knife in the kitchen, maybe. There's a butter knife right there. These knives are not for you. Last person to use productive shower was three weeks ago. Thick booty V and it just turped. Fucking a dildo in the shower.

Suction cupped up on the wall, I bet. That's what Steve meant. Yeah, it was. There's a suction dildo. Milked himself with a suction dildo in the show. Suction cupped up on the wall, I bet. That's what Steve meant. Yeah, it was. There's a suction dildo. Milked himself with a suction dildo. I hear that Coach K is upset that Jay Wright retired. Yeah. Yeah.

Because he ruined his moment. It's all about me. Me. What a legendary coach. Just think if you were... A or J? J. Wright. Sounds like a fucking men in black.

Is he from Council Rock? North? South? Probably. He's got that vibe to him. I think James Franklin actually is the Council Rock guy. All right. Both?

I mean, it's... Did you write a powerhouse of it? I had it made. It's the Northeast for you. I think Alex Cooper was from around that area as well, Council Rock. I don't think she went to Council Rock, but she was adjacent to Council Rock. Bucks County. Yeah, that type of fake Northeast type of shit.

There's something about Bucks County that every time me moving comes up at all, I have 12 DMs from somebody trying to tell me to go to Bucks County PA. It is. It has a very active recruiting department. It's a good area to live in if you want a little land. Please upvote the stream. We're at 69. Give me land, lots of land.

Look at us, boys. Look at us. What if we just had a million by the end of the year? We did 10 case races. That's the dream. It's literally our dream. I would take it. 10 case races a year?

That's very doable. What can we do to juice the numbers? Like a giveaway of money to fans on some Mr. Beast? Like a live show? By the way, the case race rules stands for as long as this show exists. Every 100,000. We get 10 million subscribers. Will you pick different teams every time?

How many would that be? Yeah, we will change the rules and do different variations, but how many would that be? 100 case races? I liked the one team case. I did. Fuck it. We got to do it for the people.

Yeah. You know, we'll Fuck it. We got to do it for the people. Yeah. You know, we'll change everything. We'll do. We'll do. Yeah. Our one silly grace is we didn't say case of what. Now, since I could almost assume that we're going to. Yeah, you're right.

He said, yeah, TJ, good point. It could be a case of anything. We just have to race to finish it. It could be a White Castle case race. Or like a, what about a cold case race? And we're just, we have to solve a case. Oh, yeah. We could go in any direction with case race. I like cold case race, and we have to solve a case? Oh, yeah. We could go in any direction with case race.

I like cold case race. We could race around a track while carrying a case of beer. What's a cold case race? Do we have to wait 48 hours to start doing it? Find a murder or an existing cold case. An existing cold case. Everyone picks their own cold case, and the first one to solve it wins. We'll do it live.

A 20-year-old case. A 20-year-old case. A 20-year-old case. Yeah, yeah. How about we try to solve the murder of a Tarkanian's agent? Or Casey Anthony. Casey, yep. Cold case. Jimmy Hoffa.

We've got to find Jimmy Hoffa's body. Just dig up Giant Stadium, right, Frank? Yep. Or we could run back the one that got like 400,000 views. Yeah, we could do that, too. That's an idea. For me, it really comes down to just like it's hard to drink beers for me. So we'll find something else.

No, I'll do it again. I'll throw up. I'm trying to get better. A case of wine. I mean, this is a psycho way of cutting a cake. Let's see it. Let's see it, Steven. I just roasted your dumb ass. I did. It's ice cream. Let's see it. Let's see it, Steven. I think you just roasted your dumb ass.

I did. It's ice cream. It's very hard. You know what else was hard? Like you, brother. Your dick in the shower. Yeah. Yeah, when you hit that conditioner hit your penis.

Did you? Oh, no, don't ask, Nick. I don't. This is your wife. What were you thinking about, too? Because, like. What time was it? Yeah, do you use imagination? You have a TV in your shower? You guys, I. I don't. What were you thinking about, too? Because time was it. Yeah.

You use imagination. You have a TV in your shower. You guys don't want to hear you. Don't ask. No probing questions. Stop asking questions. I mean. No, these are bad. These are bad.

I don't want to know. Don't ask a question you don't want. I don't think he has the ability not to answer us either. I know. So what were you thinking about? And in your imagination, is it one of the four or is it somebody else? Have you ever fallen in the shower

because your knees got so weak? You need a life alert. Shay breaks his fucking... Just starts running the... What happened? Shay faints. I know he has the back of his hand on his forehead.

His wife finds him collapsed in the shower. In a puddle of cum. Yeah, just a hard dick. Toes quivering. Good old whodunit. VR cold case. Or we could play a game of Clue.

That would be fire. I have somebody who can write a murder mystery. I still don't know if I'm going to be here. I'm driving to Maryland. I don't know what time I'm leaving. If still don't know if I'm going to be here. I'm driving to Maryland. I don't know what time I'm leaving. If you're here tomorrow, we'll double up an episode. Robin? We'll do something.

I have to leave at 2.30 tomorrow. Motherfucker. I'm going to go throw the first fucking pitch at Rutgers this Saturday. So you got to rest up for Saturday? No, I'm doing an interview on the field tomorrow. Is that loser Tim Hitchens going? Yep. He would. I have to do an interview on the field tomorrow. Is that loser Tim Hitchens going? Yep. He would.

I have to do an interview on the field tomorrow. I hope he gets booed. He has to be one of the faces of Rutgers. Tim Hitchens got booed. God damn. That's actually sick, TJ. Do you have a plan, TJ, as someone who's thrown out multiple first pitches? Yeah.

Should I warm up, or am I going to tire myself out? No, warm up a little. You've got to warm up or am I going to tire myself out? No, you should warm up a little. You've got to warm up a little. Throw 10 balls. Should I throw hard or throw a strike? Strike. Okay. And hard.

Yeah. Have to go from the rubber. He throws first pitch. I would just – you should just fuck up. But, yeah, you're going to – you've got to have a plan. Better clip. If you try to throw too hard, you will throw a ball. I haven't thrown hard pretty much ever.

Bill Burr yesterday threw out the first pitch at Fenway Park and basically did it like Louis Tiong. Oh, that's sick. TJ, you could also purposely fuck up and go viral. Yeah. Just chuck it into the woods or spike it at somebody. Yeah, like a thousand feet high. Throw it right at the other team.

Throw it at your dad. He'll two birds with one stone. I'm excited for you, TJ. I've thrown out... Yeah, that's awesome. Three or four. The first one I threw out was at Wrigley. It was like a charity drive

and whoever raised the most money. And so I got there to throw out the first pitch and it was just me and like 20 kids with cancer. And all those pussies threw in front of the rubber. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to the rubber. Dude, Kyle and I went through airport security the other day and I'm pretty sure we were in a special needs line.

We were. The more I think about it, the more we were. Wait, what did they do? I was starting to think it because we were the only ones not in wheelchairs. We were in a line that was zooming by everyone else. And, yeah. It worked. You guys got clear?

Yep, I did. It's the best. They treat you like a god. Did the staff say they don't have that at any airport? Hold on, hold on. Nick. What, man? I'm afraid of things.

You have clear and you still show up five hours before a flight? Six. We got to O'Hare and, first of all, like half of, like, Caitlin and Kelsey all left, and Kyle, like, saw them, and they left, like, two hours before. Yeah. We left at the perfect time. What are you doing? Yeah.

We left, like, an hour before. What are you trying to do? We got there. Nick had been there since 7 a.m. Our flight was at 1230. I got there at 8. 8. I think I got to punch you.

Why? He threw a knife and hit me right in the eye. Who did? It's the worst place to get hit by a knife. Of course he did. You need justice. Do we have that on camera? It's pretty good cake.

Pretty good cake. It's got to be. Happy we get to enjoy it. Yeah. Coach K you dead bitch. Nice for good things to have.

You know. Oh he got you. Play that again. You think Coach K might come to the NBA. Oh. I know it seemed

like you could use him. Look at this motherfucker. Brooklyn. What are you talking about? Roan threw a hit me in the face with a knife

Oh yeah Roan I also handed you cake You did But you didn't hit anybody else You're talking about the knife throw I'm mentioning the cake I also gave everybody else knives

You don't hear them complaining You don't hear them Did you throw a knife at KB's face? Why are you so negative? I also gave everybody else knives. You don't hear them complaining? You don't hear them... Did you throw a knife at KB? Catterwalling about it. You're caterwalling right now. I would have never thought to use the knife, and it's working like a charm. I have to be careful with ice cream. I could get sick if I eat too much.

Oh, no. You lactose intolerant? Yes, I am. All right. It doesn't affect me on everything, but ice cream affects me the worst. All right, then. Yeah. You don't have to eat it.

Good? No, no. I can't wait for edible day next week. Rank on Eddie. Can you take three, T? Dude, you're going to be noked. That Eddie. That upper black Eddie.

Eat your cake. I can't. You have to have a bite. You have to have one bite. You have to have a bite. Then I'll want the rest. You have to have a bite. This is only a show about doing.

Frank is lactose intolerant. He had a bite. It's literally poison for him. Well, it does make me nauseous. I can't wait for Swirlywheel. I can. You're not going to lose. It's the worst thing you could do to a man.

You're not going to lose. Let's be honest. You're not going to lose. Yeah, Owen. Owen is going to lose. It actually will be Owen. It's going to be Owen, and he's going to be like, well. Yeah, I don't know why.

It's going to be Owen. It's going to be Owen, and there's going to be a poop in the toilet, and we're going to miss the poop, and he's going to go right in. It's not going to be Owen. It's going to be me. No. You have an unswervelable personality. It's definitely going to be Sass, because he wasn't here to agree to this. No.

Yeah. I never agreed to this. No, dude. No. In the toilet I Mean I'm just not doing that Hurry crush last night though. Yeah. Yeah did a couple two shows in Austin I think Yeah, he was he opened for or not open or Norman. Followed Mark Norman. Followed Mark Norman?

Yeah. Mark Norman opened for him. That bone was open. Mark Norman opened for him. Need a bite, dude. I just did. When? Good ice cream, Kate. It is good.

Makes you forget about a knife in your eye. All right. New Son of a boy die shirts Oh those are nice I need someone to help me design shirts Stitched I want to get more Frank the Tank merch out there Yeah we gotta

I need someone to help me do that What about some pop culture merch Frank? Something about like Will Smith getting slapped or something Oh that's good Yeah Or Frank I liked the mustard stain on the Raw Doggin' shirt. You could sell that just on plain white, gray, and black t-shirts. It's already...

No, I know. See, what I was describing was different than what you sell. So, it could be a plain black, white, or gray t-shirt, and it's just as subtle like I listen to Frank, you know? I would like it on, like, the shoulder or something. Like, we do embroidery now? A patch of a mustard stain on... Yeah.

We should make a shirt where it's just a tub, and around the drain it's just Stephen Chase splooge. Yeah, it's Chase cum, but it spells out productive shower around the drain. Productive shower. You have to take the whole thing. Take the whole thing. Reproductive shower?

I didn't say reproductive shower. Take a whole thing. Reproductive shower? I said I didn't say reproductive shower. A productive shower. Yes. You don't know what that drain leads to. It could be a reproductive shower. You're right, I don't. Someone's harvesting your cum and making children. You're actually thinking about that.

Yeah, he's concerned What famous person did they do that to? Drake? No but there's a new Netflix documentary coming out About the doctor in Indiana Who is a Whatever Fertility doctor

And it just turned out that he was using his cum For all the babies He had like 50 children Oh yeah The trailer for that is so weird Because everybody's like I don't know who I'm related to his cum for all the babies. He had like 50 children. Oh yeah. The trailer for that is so weird because everybody's like I don't know who I'm related to walking around town. Am I dating somebody I'm related to?

Yeah. Our father is what it's called. When did this happen? In the 70s I want to say. And then a bunch of people I'm not spoiling anything there's a whole article about it but the because it hasn't

come out yet. They all did 23andMe's and they all were like, wait, we all have the same father. It's a small Indiana town. Oh, man. It's a fertility clinic. I mean, you know what I mean? In fact, they found out that a couple was getting married and

they found out that they were brother-sister. That's brutal. Half-brother. That's brutal. Half-brother. That's fine. What do you even do? What a predicament. I think you just keep fucking your sister. Right.

No, what would you do? And you named your first son Joffrey. You couldn't. Is half-brother and sister? Brandon, you would know. It's over. You got a blocker on everything. What do you do if you're about to marry your brother or sister?

You know, invitations have already been sent out. Seems like you've just got to go through with it. You've got to deal with it. There was like a New York Post article the other day of like, this brother's marrying his sister, and he's got 73 best men or something like that. I don't know which one's weirder. It just got me thinking. 73 best men is way weirder.

I'm going to throw something out there right now. If Kaitlin Walker and White Sox Dave end up getting married, I will pay for the entire wedding. Wow. That'll be a lavish wedding too. Lavish. Destination? I will pay for the entire wedding. Dream wedding?

I will pay for the entire wedding. A dream wedding? So in Zimbabwe, if you want to do that, you have to buy. The guy has to buy a white cow, a white female cow for the in-laws to, it's ceremoniously cuts the, pretty much cuts the family ties. Would you buy, would you spring for the cow

as well? Or would Dave have to buy his own white cow? Absolutely. Brandon, what do you think? There are many things I have enjoyed and allowed to be joked about on the show. Ah, listen. White Sox Dave being your brother-in-law is not one of them. Right. there are many things I have enjoyed and allowed to be joked about on the show. Oh, I see. White Sox Dave being your brother-in-law is not one of them. That is the bridge too far that we have found.

Oh, my God. White Sox. Like, could you imagine Brandon having to go to Christmas and White Sox Dave is there? Imagine White Sox Dave's. I might buy him a house, too. I might buy him a house. Wow. You know what?

I'll put their kids through college. Wow, man. It's almost worth it at that point. They can pick wedding or kids through college. Their choice. Wow. Hey, how about this? Duplex.

Brandon. Yes. Oh, good idea. Okay. One star saves a great dude. He's not. He's a great dude He's not He's a great shot Wait how about the end of the night

When the bartender was like Throwing pieces of ice At White Sox Dave To mess with him And then White Sox Dave Winds up Throws a piece of ice And just breaks the TV

Over the bar To shatter the screen I feel like we haven't Brought that up Yeah what? That's it Did he pay for it? The bartender was lightly throwing it at Dave just to annoy him,

and then Dave, who used to be a pitcher, right, fully wound up and threw this ice cube as hard as he could, and it hit the TV, and it just immediately cracked the TV. It just went green right away. And they made him feel bad. They're like, oh, no, we're replacing the TVs next week. No. Because it's broken now.

You want me to rescind my offer? I'm not asking him to do anything. I would like to just. The offer's out there. Do not rescind it because what if it does happen? Then it would make fiscal sense to go ahead and let the offer stay out there. Exactly. So you might as well just let it.

What if I sweeten the pot for you? How are you going to sweeten the pot for me? I'll put one of your kids through college. Frank, what happened? Mets just went up 5-1. Oh, damn it. Give him a run. I walked into the Chicago office the other day,

and Frank was just screaming bloody murder at the TV. And I was like, what's the score, Frank? You guys down like 8-2. It was 4-4. And then Mets won. And they were down 4-1 in that game. Yeah. Now.

Oh, are you double pointing me? I was seeing bloody murder because Francisco Lindor threw a ball poorly. The play was called safe in the 10th inning, and the Giants scored. However, upon further review, instant replay. This actually wasn't when you were doing it, but yeah.

It wasn't 4-4 at that point. Okay, yeah, well. Whole different reason. Seth Luzko was in, and he threw like a 79-mile-per-hour curveball, and Frank was like, look at him, he's got nothing. He threw 79-mile-per-hour. Wait, who was in. Seth Luzko was in, and he threw like a 79-mile-per-hour curveball, and Frank was like, look at him. He's got nothing. He threw 79-mile-per-hour.

Who was in? Seth Luzko. I went to opening day at the Mets, and they hit back-to-back home runs in the top of the ninth to go up 10-1. Bottom of the eighth. Bottom of the eighth, yeah, to go up 10-1. Back-to-back home runs landed within the same like 10 seats. They were clone home runs. The entire place

was bumping, jumping. Top of the inning, thumping. There is a buzz this year in the first few games. Well, and then the top of the inning, the closer walked two batters in a row and the entire stadium booed. The game was over. Yeah, well,

you're up 10-1. Throw Fucking strikes That's so sad That's so sad It's opening day That's like a destination day And they It's 10-1

That's why that franchise Is always gonna be losers And the fucking Mets Are never gonna win shit In their lifetimes Because they can't even appreciate When something's going good for them They can't even enjoy

Their fucking cake And eat it too Throw strikes I don't get booing Your own players. I don't get that either. I booed the training staff during pre-game introductions. That wouldn't make me do better. I want to be hyped up.

Owen, who'd you go with? Yeah, Owen. My girlfriend. Oh. I thought you might have went with Colin. girlfriend. Oh. I don't you mind. I don't you mind. I went with Colin. Oh, no.

I did. I actually saw you, though. There was crowds of people leaving the place, and there was one line going down, and it was to go take pictures with you. Most famous Mets fan. That's why they'll never win anything, Frank, because everyone's so freaking negative in that stadium, you know? There's a palpable buzz.

No, we were happy. We were happy that we were up 10-1, but we want you to throw strikes. It was a happy boo. It was a happy boo. We're up 10-1. We want to go home. Let's get the game over with. Throw strikes.

Throw strikes. We need a shirt that says, how about this for some Frank the Tank? Throw strikes. T-R-O-W. And then, tro another one. Yeah, another one. That's a good shirt. I actually would buy that shirt.

I actually got to say this. Tro strikes. I got to say this. I'm pretty happy how the Mets are playing so far. Oh! Wow. World Series or bust? Best team in the league.

I mean. World Series or bust? Are you 10 games over 500? No, but... Oh, when that happens. Boy. Right now, there's only been... There's more than 10 games.

Today's the... 14th game. Today's the 14th game, yeah. And going into the game 9-4. 9-4. Which is a good record. They had a bad break yesterday. They didn't have the best game yesterday,

but they were 9-3 after sweeping a doubleheader on Tuesday night. Love it. Giants, who are very good. Giants are a good team. Giants are good. They're a good team. Max Scherzer, dominant effort. Oh!

Wow. I've never heard that. That's another shirt for you. That's another shirt right there. Max Scherzer, dominant effort. Dominant effort. That's a dope ass shirt. We're putting up a

you gotta believe people are putting up a Max Scherzer shirt with Mr. Met having Max Scherzer's eyes. Love it. They're gonna get you on You Gotta Believe. You gotta get on there, Frank. Yeah, well there's kind of a feud still going on.

Yeah. I gotta run to an interview. You guys can keep doing the show. Oh, no, no, no. We're good. We're good. We're 15 minutes past. Free 15 minutes for the people.

Yeah, let's play this off. Please subscribe. Yeah, there we go, Frank. Hey! See you tomorrow. Hey! Thanks. One love. See you tomorrow.