The Yak - We Found the Coolest Mini Golfer Alive | The Yak 4-3-24

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

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The basketball court is rendered useless. No gauntlet today. Look at this. It looks sick. It looks cool. There are three penis-shaped hoodies. Oh, my God. It's so phallic. There are more than three.

There are three, I think. No, there are more than three. Scroll left. Scroll. Look at god. It's so phallic. There are more than three. There are three I think. Scroll left. Look at that. There's two there. That's just a dick. That's two dicks. Oh there's two and then on the right side. Back in the corner can look like a penis too. Go back to the one that's a pussy. That's a penis. That's a penis right there.

That's three penises. Go back to the one on the left. That one is legitimately just a straight up penis. That has misshapen testicles as well. A penis hole. That one all the way in the back is one ball. That's a one ball cock. Next friend. Yeah.

Huh. It's going to be so awesome. TJ, find that clitoris. I have a question. Yeah. How are they going to dig holes in the floor? Huh? No, I think.

What? Are they going to put platforms on? I think they're going to put platforms on it. I think they're going to do a platform. Raise platforms. I think this is. So why are they laying this out? I think they're laying it out to see exactly where everything's going to go. So they're laying it out. And they put the pad down.

And then they put the platform. They're going to come back over the top with that. We're not going to build holes in our basketball court. We could. It would be exciting from here on out. You thought they were going to build holes in our basketball court. We could. It would be exciting from here on out. You thought they were going to drill holes in the basketball court? Didn't think that, but that was the only option I could see as far as that they've already laid it out.

They've already laid it out. Wait, are they picking up our turf over there? No. Yes. I don't know. Boy, Brandon is a simple boy, isn't he? That was a fine question. They're digging holes in this multi-thousand dollar court. That was a really good Brandon impression.

That's just, Hank, I don't know, he's a pervert. He just made a penis. All I'm saying is. He designed these? Yeah. I think there's a couple aspects That one someone's Laying down with their butt up I'm so excited for this

So next week is going to rock Why wouldn't you put the platform down first I really want to make I really want to make the cut That's the thing I'm nervous about now Is it the same premise As the one that we did before Like there's no twist or anything

Or it's No there's no It's um? No, there's no. It's, I believe, I don't know if we've announced the schedule, but I'll say it. Wednesday morning. So I think there's 32 competitors. Wednesday morning is round one. Wednesday afternoon after the Yak is round two. And then there's a cut.

And then Wednesday night primetime is round two, and then there's a cut. And then Wednesday night primetime is round three, and then because Masters are on Thursday, the final round will be Thursday night primetime. Okay. So great watching. Like Wednesday will be a big day, three rounds, and then the finals will be on Thursday night after the Masters. Is it going to be live this?

All live. Oh, live this time. We're never doing a taped one again. Okay. Ever. Got it. Because it takes way too long. So there's only one cut? Yeah, it's only one cut. Yeah, that's how golf works.

Well, I mean, you can see where... Yeah, there's only one cut. Are you nervous, Stephen? No, why would I be nervous? Because you can only beat 12-year-olds? Yeah, you can only beat children? History of winning. Against children.

Winning tradition. Wait, have you participated in the Barstool mini-golf already? Yeah, I was the leader after... And then what happened? I didn't win. It's nice. I mean, nobody's beaten Jeffy Lowe. He was like 25 under or something like that.

But you were the leader for... I think I was the leader after the first round, too. I was the leader after two rounds. I don't know about that. First or second. Though that's not the way. You're all over the place right now. Were you top ten? Did we find that, TJ?

What was your final standings? I think I finished like seventh or eighth. Oh, so you choked. I didn't have a good final round. Yeah. So you're not ready for this. Not a history of winning. Have you ever seen professional mini golf?

Yes. It's the wimpiest looking shit I've ever seen. I couldn't disagree more. It's a Scandinavian indoor thing. There's no complexities to the courses. Wait, I haven't seen the Scandinavian. I've seen the fat dudes from the 80s. Hell no.

You're talking about the one. Okay, all right. Direct line. We agree. These ones are like metal. Yeah, I know which one you're talking about. There's nothing to it. Oh, that?

Oh, this is lit. This, this. Can you find the old dudes, though? I think there's a difference between putt-putt and mini golf. Putt-putt is like geometry, and it's all... You have to bank off... I don't know. I think mini-golf is the clown's mouth.

Mini-golf is the clown's mouth, whereas putt-putt is like... If you bank it at the right angle, you could theoretically get a hole-in-one every time. Yeah, this is some lame-o shit right here. This is Rube Goldberg. No, don't do Rube like that. Yeah, that's true. Pure wimpy shit. That was a nice shot. This is Rube Goldberg. No. Yeah. Don't do Rube like that. Yeah, that's true.

It's pure wimpy shit. That was a nice shot. That was pretty cool, though. Can you find the old dudes, though, TJ? Like the fat dudes who they used to- They used to have a tour, right? Yeah, and it was awesome because they took it so seriously. What is that guy's foot?

This is not an easy shot. This wouldn't be an easy putt if you had to use a putter. Does he have fake arms? Wait, is he going to kick this? What's on his foot? He's bionic. Does he have fake arms? Wait, is he going to kick this? What's on his foot? He's bionic. Does he have Tom Dempsey? He's going to kick it.

What is happening? This is a putt. He is currently the solo leader. What the fuck is he doing? What? Oh. Oh. Joke.

Is he a bionic man? No way. Oh, shit. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, he's got a ball picker upper. Whoa, go back.

Hold on. I need to see more of this guy. How did that go in? This is the greatest guy I've ever seen. What the? He's got a finger up. Look at that scorecard, Ted. Is he just mostly metal?

Well, you can't kick, can you? You should see where he attaches his feet. The solo leader and this to stay there. Oh. Oh. Wait. Are those just. Wait a minute.

How the fuck. What? How did that ball. Can we find more Nico? Nico Manu. This is an account that just posts Bizarro World niche sports. But I need to find more Nico. Well, we can't watch all that.

Nico. That was what it said. It said Nico's on fire. Is that Jesus in the slap wheel? I need more Nico in my life. What the hell was that guy? Oh, this is the one, TJ. Hold on.

I'll send it to you. You found Nico that fast? No, I found the one that is. This is real mini golf championship, not the fucking Scandinavian nerd shit. Yeah, Bill Cotter wouldn't stand for that shit. Oh, we got to talk about that. Bill Cotter getting tweeted out on Fox News' main account.

No. Running for Congress. Get full article too. Oh, he's got what's his deal? Now, i have a little bit of an issue with this don't oh please i do too okay can you just scroll back up i i have a little bit of an issue with this and i don't mean any respect to nico manu but the that doesn't sound like that bad of a condition pro mini golfer uses feet to putt overcoming debilitating condition.

That's got to be the lowest bar to overcome ever. It's not like dude makes the NFL after having rare heart condition. He's just playing mini golf. What is his condition? His wrist would slip out of. And is he playing against club holders? Also, isn't this illegal to kick it? Yes.

It's harder to kick it. It is harder to kick it. I don't know. It's a different sport. I think I could kick better. I think it's a different sport. You could not kick better. Nico.

Nico Manu. No, this is harder. That's definitely. The world putting me. And so he will kick the ball. Arthritis? Arthritis? What? He was trying to play that front door.

We're talking about a guy who overcame his joints hurting because he typed too much? To overcome this. Adaptive golf. Oh, come on. The first ever adaptive golf. I like his ball picker upper, though. Wait. He pretty much goes all the way down to pick it up that's what i'm saying i don't think it's his wrist i think he's just better kicking than hitting he might yeah he can't grip a club

he should be in a cornhole wait is this him yeah is he about to use his foot oh my god wait a minute holy shit but he can bend over and pick. This guy rules. Why are we here? We got to find this guy. I'm trying to figure him out. He's got debilitating arthritis in his wrist. He picked up that thing.

No problem. Hold on. I want it very clear. I think he rules. I thought the headline saying he overcomes debilitating health issues to play mini golf is a crazy headline. It's one of the great triumphs in sports. It's a crazy headline.

Mini golf is like the lowest bar for physical activity. Children play it. Steven beats children. Inspired. Is he doing even competitive mini golf? Oh, this is Myrtle Beach. I kind of want to talk to Nico. We got to track him down. What was the accident? I have so many questions. This is all eightigolf. Oh, this is Myrtle Beach. I kind of want to talk to Nico. We got to track him down.

What was the accident? I have so many questions. This is all eight years ago. Oh, no. Oh, no. Ha. Now, that would be a debilitating condition to overcome to play Minigolf. Death?

Yeah. Yeah. If he came back from the dead? Doubtedly. Yeah. That would be impressive. A shed building accident classic, yes. Oh.

Never catch me building a shed. I'd love to build a shed. I was a little angry with the world, and I kicked the ball, and my head just went crazy with mine. No. Oh, I love that. He got mad building the shed, so he kicked the ball, and then he was like, wait a second. It's all

in the manipulation of the leg and the swing and how far you are from the tee. He calls it shuffling. Dan, you should do that for this event. You should build yourself a swing kick. I feel like this is just more, there's less to fuck up when you just go like that. I don't know.

I think it's harder to go straight. I think it's harder to keep it. Well, keep in mind, he has a plate on the end of it. Yeah, it's like a platform. Well, you don't have the platform. He doesn't have the flat toe. He's right on dick one. There's dick two.

Dick two is being platformed right now. I've had some days where a lot of these holes have looked like my dick. Mm-hmm. Really? That one right there with the hop in it. Yeah. The one with the hole in the middle. Yup. That dude's chillin'. That guy's workin' hard. He's chillin'.

Oh. Oh, yo. Okay. Why did he choose that hole? All right. It's a wide. He's gonna fuck this up. No, he's gonna kill it.

Oh, you gotta get the speed right. Yeah, once you get it down. Okay. Oh, he's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that would've gone in. Two.

So you got a three. Yeah, so you got a bogey. Yeah, you got a bogey. You got a bogey. You got a bogey. You bogeyed it. With the platform, that would've gone in. Nice bogey.

Gutsy bogey. Nice bogey. That's a bogey. Okay,geyed it. With the platform, that would have gone in. Nice bogey. Bogeyed it. Gutsy bogey. Nice bogey. That's a bogey. Okay, now, all right. Go par one, then. Fucking idiots. Where are you going? There's a ball over there.

He's running to the penis. Around the tip. What? Well, no, you could just throw this. Oh, what? Is that a... He's going to reverse it. He's going to prove that you could just do yes. You poorly on purpose

He's walking angrily. Oh He's up. There we go Nice set down uh-huh with the left-handed putter Oh, that's great boy. Yeah, that was really bad. I point. That was really bad. That was really bad. That was terrible. Damn. That's true of my point.

He's got a point. It was really stupid. Hank, come here. Did your fly down again? Why does your fly come down? Why is it always down? No! Hank, come here.

Okay, pull up a clip. Is this legal for our tournament? If my wrist started hurting? To kick? It's not an easy shot. This wouldn't be an easy putt if you had to use a putter. He's got the putter head on his foot. Yeah.

Look at that scorecard. Nico Manu. Unbelievable. I mean, he's up there with Rainey. I mean, this guy looks pretty legit. We are bringing in an official. We're trying to find a PGA rules official. That's a good idea.

How does that ball go back in? No way. He did some shit. He did some shit. He sprinkled some dust on it or something Can I do that? Yeah I mean we'll have to check with the rules official That looks pretty legal to me though

Aren't we just doing the rules? No because people get People bitching You need to get Who are you interviewing for the rules? Someone that has You need to have... We're trying to get the guy that did the corn fairy,

like who was the official. We're going to ask a PGA rules official if we can get him. Why would a PGA rules official know putt-putt rules? That's... All I'm going to say is you need to find the hardest-ass guy ever. It's like getting an NBA ref to ref your beer pong game. Yeah. But you need to find someone who is like...

Who the busing guys have for the beer Olympics. They had... Blandino. Yeah. to ref your beer pong game yeah but you need to find someone who is like they had uh who the busing guys have for the beer olympics they had uh uh blandino yeah you need to find someone who is no bullshit though hank because like i know irk and dave i i screaming at him i haven't talked to jerry about this yet but he's doing a jerry after the dark the night before so he won't be in the tournament so i think we might have the rules official with jerry as his like enforcer if if things as his like mad dog yeah like whatever the rules official with Jerry as his enforcer if things hit the As his mad dog. Yeah, whatever the rules official says, but then Jerry will help echo that. Well, no, Jerry's my caddy.

Oh, true. Well, ooh. Damn. What? That's true. I forgot about that. But yeah, I agree. This is going to be awesome.

And do you want to address the fact that you made a bunch of penises? I didn't design penises. At least three penises. There to be awesome. And do you want to address the fact that you made a bunch of penises? I didn't design penises. At least three penises. There could be more. I think that's a general thing in golf. Penises? You looked at, you know, yeah. But, yeah, there are definitely that's a clear penis.

I think if you pull up any golf course, you're not going to see that many penises. That's as much of a penis as you can. You can't make it more of a penis. The testicles are a mistake. Cock and balls. Yeah, I mean, I didn't design each hole, but of a penis. The testicles are a mistake. Cock and balls. Yeah, I mean, I didn't design each hole, but penises are penises. I think we should lean into it. If you get a double bogey on that hole, you have to show your cock.

Yeah. Hole in one. Naked lap. Hole in one, you get sucked off. That could be. It's only fair. Yeah. It's a good deal. Hole in one, you get sucked off by could be It's only fair Yeah It's a good deal

Home when you get sucked off By whoever gets the double bogey Yeah I mean we just We always talk about this We'll never enforce it What if we did this time We'll have a PGA I think you could

If you just didn't film it Behind a curtain We have to just yeah just do it once yeah joke about it just one time we have to make someone

suck someone off yeah as a punishment Hank talk to the rules official talk to him that'd be great okay

alright you're on the wheel now today oh great alright thank you Hank thank you we're gonna try to find Nico Manu if we can. If he's not dead.

Yeah, we're going to try to find him. But he could be dead. But then we'll find out that he's dead. Well, let's at least send flowers. Yeah. He's going to be like Iron Lung Guy. He'll die tomorrow. Yeah.

We killed him. We will be informed a million times. Yeah. Yeah we killed him We will be informed a million times Yeah Yeah Bill Cotter Not Billy Football Fox News tweeted out his Barstool sports personality running for Congress In New York 3rd with common sense Planned voice for this generation

I love a good common sense There's nothing common sense about Billy He's the That's the last thing I think of I think the comments here are like I love a good common sense. There is nothing common sense about Billy. That's the last thing I think of. I think the comments here are like, finally. I wanted to get involved and be a voice for this generation, if anything. Wait, hold on. I want to get involved and be a voice for this generation, if anything. You know, I may not make it to Congress,

but hopefully some of the things that I raise on my platform here will. Even in a written quote. That's a good quote. Well said. I just kept thinking about it and seeing what was going on in Washington and local politics, the issues that this part of New York is dealing with. There are issues that there were not a problem growing up, and now it is. I don't really agree, but.

Okay. He had a crime quote. Go back up. Oh, he's tough on crime. When it comes to crime, the immigration crisis and the cost of living crisis, we're seeing those issues at face value in New York, and that spurred. He hasn't said anything. Wait, we're seeing those issues at face value?

What is that? I also believe that we should lower crime. We should boost the economy, and we should tackle the issues. The thing about immigration is it's an issue that needs to be tackled. It's happening. I'm going to tackle the issues. The thing about immigration is it's an issue that needs to be tackled. I'm going to tackle the issue. Fuck it, I'll tackle the issue. He doesn't even say what he wants to do with the issues.

He just says that we're seeing those issues. There are issues. Crime is bad. He didn't say crime is bad. He just said there's issues and we see the issues. But it spurred him to get involved. For everything, I mean, it's hilarious.

I love this arc that Billy's on. But from every quote and video I've seen, he just, it's almost like he's doing a prank. Like, how long can I run without actually taking a stand on anything? That is what he's doing, right? No, but he has. I think Billy is also, Billy is always afraid. What are you going to be able to do at 25 that you couldn't do at 24? One of those things is running for U.S. Congress.

What does that mean? I think it's legally a law. He can rent a car. He's not wrong. There's no one in my generation buying a house. You're 24, especially in this area for the next five years because how expensive housing is the day-to-day life has gotten so expensive and no one has enough expendable income to save and so he's just asking for a raise he's an issue

acknowledger yeah and he's also just doing it he's running for congress just to ask dave for a raise he's like no one can afford anything we're all living paycheck to paycheck like for me for instance he sees the house on fire and he points out he goes that house is on fire yeah and then he runs away all right well the best impact that my audience has had is that i've been able to interact with so many people my age group from pro athletes to bartenders and they all sort of know something is wrong in this country. Again, not really saying what's wrong. I hear them voice their opinions and their problems, and I feel like when you have 300,000 followers on Twitter,

you're interacting with so many. That insight has really inspired me to take this extra level because people know there's something wrong and there is a complete lack of common sense. Something's wrong, guys. It's so wrong. I want to try to help bring some common sense into the equation because from the looks of it,

we don't know if our elected officials are truly acting in our... He could have easily just said, our elected officials are not acting in our best interest. He just said, we don't know. He's like a politician on The Simpsons. He hasn't taken a stance in any... He's not even taken a stance. He's not even taking a stance at being in the Republican Party.

Did you see the last quote? What does it say? Pull that back, TJ. I chose to run as a Republican because many of my views were aligned when it came to national security, supporting law enforcement and on budget spending. I don't think all my beliefs are necessarily tied completely to the Republican Party. I think I have a position where I'm running in the Republican Party, but I'll look at every issue completely and without bias. Man, the issues are fucked.

He's going to look at them all the time. Imagine waking up and being an issue and seeing that. Shit. Your days are numbered, issues. He's going to be looking at you a lot. Finally, someone's looking at numbered issues. He's going to be looking at you a lot. D-Cott. No. Finally, someone's looking at these issues. Yeah. You spend all this time underneath the radar.

Yep. And then old Billy Cotter comes around. I'm hoping that I can honestly run a true grassroots campaign. I've collected about 1,000 signatures myself in the rain. There you go. In the rain. All in the rain. Do those count as two?

Oh, my God. Wait. Are there comments? Yeah, I think there's in support of him. I support him, I guess. I mean, he is. It's not often you hear Republican New York and common sense in the same sentence. If he's a Republican, well, that in itself will be a step in the right direction.

Hell yeah. All right. All right, Cotter. Wishing you all the best. Let's go. Common sense in New York. Good luck with that. There are issues that we,

that were not a problem growing up, but now it is. How old is this? Go down, go down, go down. Behind the ears, his expertise is football. You know, you know, Nixon was a huge football fan too,

according to Thomas's book. He's a young Nixon. The house will be lost to the GOP for a generation. This Congress sealed the deal. Thank you. There goes his chance to win. You can't use common sense in a young Nixon. The House will be lost to the GOP for a generation. This Congress sealed the deal. Thank you. There goes his chance to win. You can't use common sense in a liberal state. Not enough people in the United States can recognize common sense.

I mean, he's clearly struck a nerve by just saying common sense. Sounds like it's too animal to me. We're trying to get rid of what we have. Speak, bro, speak. Speak, bro. Speak, bro. Oh, fuck. This rocks. Did people come to his thing at Borelli's the other night?

I think Stu was there, so you know people came for Stu. What is the next step? He's got to get the signatures in the rain. How many? So he can get on the ballot? Yeah. Then he's got to beat Jim Toes. Jim Toes. Yeah, from staring him down. I need Toes. Jim Toes. Jim Toes.

From staring him down. I just want to see. He Toes to run a smear campaign. We just need Billy to get into one debate. One single debate where he just doesn't acknowledge anything other than the issues and doesn't say any solutions, but just says we have issues. Yeah. We need him in a debate.

Imagine if he got elected in the first day on his job and he's like all right so now you have to try to do something whoa what yeah everything he said is like getting uh having to do a book report and you just read the spark notes and you're like yeah this is what's kind of going on yeah or like if you just were if we're like we're gonna have a blind debate and here's your prompt you You're running for Republican and go. And you're like, well, there's issues. Issues. There's immigration.

What are my solutions to the issues? Common sense. Seeing them. First step is to see the issues. See them. Apply a little common sense for a change. Rub a little common sense on it. It will probably fix itself.

Yeah. It is very – it's also very scary that he could possibly win. But we looked at – like, he has to get, like, what, like 100,000? Yeah, something crazy. It is very funny, too, for Billy to be like, there weren't these issues when we were growing up. Like, you are still growing up. Yeah.

How come when we were growing up, you are still growing up yeah yeah how come when we were growing up we uh ate cookies all the time and now i've had a cookie my mom used to buy me cereal and now she doesn't tj can people hear the banging should we close the doors it's not crazy okay i don't know if and if you're in that chat if it's too crazy let me. I don't know. If you're in that chat, if it's too crazy, let me know. Yeah, let us know. I actually love that as a campaign. He's like, remember when we used to just ride our bikes in the park? Yeah.

We never do that anymore. Remember when the Cowboys used to win the Super Bowl? What the fuck has been going on? We've lost our way. I haven't won a Super Bowl in 25 years. Yeah, he just basically is like, his entire premise is he just wants to be a child. He just wants to be a child, yeah. Remember when we used to play touch football?

I never had bills like 20 years ago. What the fuck are these? We don't watch cartoons on Saturday mornings anymore. This country is lost. Just a 12-year- old politician billy football oh i hope he gets yeah i hope he gets like to a point where we get a debate where he gets i want him to like ruffle some feathers he would get so flustered so fast oh my he would start yelling within five seconds oh my god i love the idea of and i like Billy Football, but of a smear campaign.

Yeah. Airing on local, like, who could fund it? I mean, listen, it would be very funny, too, just to see him, like, have to deal with, like, whatever the first hit piece comes out. Yeah. And his cancellation, like, Billy Football caught trunk on Pardon My Take. Is this the man we want to trust yeah with america old billy football tweets caught using african accent oh my god yeah

oh by the way caruso what a legend yeah that was awesome not only did he say shooter to titus but then when he came around the corner after the show, Zah came out and Zah tried to introduce himself and Crusoe just stopped and was like, Zah, what's up, legend? Oh, damn. He was so cool. I think I'm just going to give him a key card and let him just come whenever he wants. Yeah. Just hang out.

Thank God he didn't get hurt. People were very nervous. Yeah, that would have been, you would have been in big trouble, Brandon. Big trouble, Brandon. That would have been brutal for you that's your responsibility that's not your job out there i'm just guiding them along i'm not yeah you're guiding them right over a tripping point no i go behind them at that point nico's alive oh i thought you said he's live i was like oh no he's alive oh great yeah huge what's what's Oh, great. Yeah, huge. What's our, how do we know?

Josh has contacted the Pro Mini Golf Association. That quick. We'll try to track him down. Get him on the show. Is he based out of, it looked like Myrtle Beach. I got family down there. I might have to get. Oh, who touched? Appetitis.

Yeah, I might have to get him. Soft the... I might have to get him to do some journalism. Don't try to shake his hand. Yeah, shake feet. Oh, imagine if we got him competing. He would destroy everybody. Can we get him here? Yeah, Myrtle Beach, dude.

What is he on? How good is he? Was he doing actual pro events? I think so. TJ, I sent you the other one that was like the real mini golfers. Look at these guys. Yeah, for sure. This is awesome. And joining me is Jim Hairtoes, a man that's won more national titles than Harry.

Harry Toes. Now, Jim, this is these guys' Super Bowl, isn't it? Absolutely. This is unbelievable. I've been there before. Can we get this guy some sunglasses? Now, Jim, this is these guys' Super Bowl, isn't it? Absolutely. This is unbelievable. I've been there before. Can we get this guy some sunglasses? Was this really on ESPN? Are his eyes open?

Oh, he used to show everything. No. To perform under this type of pressure is unbelievable. Is this like an Australian redneck accent? And they've also got a different format than what they're used to, aren't they? The format is... Is this the UK or Australia? He's American, right?

But he has a... If someone has 18 aces, $100,000... That's Australian. $100,000 for 18 aces? These guys putt. And it's carried over to the next hole. And of course... Oh, look at this crowd.

Danny Dior. Oh, the socks and sand. Oh, you've got to hit that. Oh, look at the crowd. Danny Jor. Oh, the socks and sand. Oh, you've got to hit that. Oh, that's just bad. It's tough, but it's possible. Oh, they got all. Danny pulled that a little left. Danny is a pro.

He's got to do it with the people watching right there. From the Baltimore, Maryland area. So as soon as you don't get a one, you get a two? Does that have that work? With Buddy and Manny Termas, he brought along a lot of good players. So Danny is one of his protégés and an excellent putter. David. You get a two? Does that work? Many tournaments. He brought along a lot of good players. Danny is one of his protégés and an excellent putter. David.

This is awesome. I was serious. He said just a little bit ago, he would love to have an 18 today. Oh. Oh! You got to nail that one. $100,000 hunt. Oh. Good hair.

He's walking in everyone's lawn. To win the first hole with $500. Oh, yeah, I guess it is. I actually like this format. You either get a one or you don't. Right to the last, and it just turned. Cordini's going to do it. We'll see what Andy Cordini.

Oh, Cordini getting funky with it. And it didn't take the break. So maybe a little bit of fun. No, you've got to finish the hole. No, I think they're just playing. One or nothing? Yeah, they're playing like a skins game where it's like 500 bucks. Whoever gets it carries over.

But they don't have to make each other make the second putt? Let's see the next hole. As a novice. This guy. Holy shit, what a reveal. What are they doing to this guy? That's an old school dork. Why do they make him sit like this?

What the fuck? Oh, no. Oh, everyone. Get him a chair. Oh, you have to do that for the mini golf. Yes. He was managing the course. He got me involved.

I started playing in some tournaments and did well and gave me a lot of encouragement over the years. I've just improved. We grew up playing pot-pot. This is crazy. And we went out there and they had a met that game. Looks like a good. Danny, who also is a pro.

All right. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes. Oh. Man. Smiling. Oh, yes. Oh. Man. Smiling.

Oh, look at this. Damn it. You guys kind of suck. Nobody's made one yet. Cellophane bridge. Such as it goes. Rub of the green. All right, come on, Corradini.

Come on, Corradini. Andy Corradini now will try to see how his good fortune goes. Oh, that's good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. Yeah! Good speed, Jimmy. Poor Dean.

Oh, this guy. Yeah. He hopes that's $1,000 in his pocket. Danny Dore. Is this crazy? This was just 1998. Danny's about to stop that. Danny Dore.

Danny Dore. Oh, he went for it. Perfect. Yeah. Jimmy, he is a great pressure putter. Uh-oh. That's maybe why he's won $53,000 in his professional career. Oh, my God. So, after for it. Perfect. Yes. Well, Jimmy, he is a great pressure putter. Uh-oh. This maybe weighs one. Look at that mullet.

$53,000. Oh, my God. So, after two holes. This guy's water. Still no blood. Oh. Still no blood. $9,000 still to be won.

Oh, got to get with hanging. We'll be back at the beautiful Orange Lake Resort and Country Club after these messages. I feel like I'm on cheap sex right now. This is incredible. ...to have to nail under pressure to win a major championship. And you know, since putting's half a game of golf, can you just imagine the pressure he's feeling right now? Let's watch and see if he can pull it off.

Some old-school putter. I guess... Yes, he's done it. Oh, that's the defense. That's who you be. ...where future champions are made. Starting right now through the fourth... This is awesome. Oh, that's Steven. That's who you beat. I know. I love this.

This is Billy's America. Yeah, I was going to say. I was making fun of Billy for this, but now all of a sudden, I'm in. Yeah. Oh, my God. Get this country back to this. Some volleyball players are terrible. Oh, they God. Get this country back to this. There were a lot of carryovers.

Oh, they skipped coverage? The hole is worth $2,500. David McCaslin putt. Who's funding this? David probably played this putt just to the left of the hole, hoping that it comes in with enough speed. Who is funding this? The Muzadi? Oh, my God.

Huge. I'm telling you, he performed that great. It's about a 26-foot putt. That guy's 90s hot, too. Yeah. And if you don't hit it with right speed, it will take the break off to the left. Like a sitcom dad. We'll see what Andy does.

All right, come on, Andy. It's like the brother in Napoleon Dynamite. Oh, is he nervous? Oh, Andy. Worthless shrimp. Go get your CDL. Well, let's see what Danny D? Oh, Andy. Worthless shrimp. Go get your CDL. Well, let's see what Danny Dore does, Mick. Oh, look at this.

Yeah, the golf babes. You want to bet on who do we think wins? I think he hits this. This is big if he doesn't. Danny Dore takes it home. Yeah. The Danny Dore is next. Danny Dore.

He's got the charisma, too. It's like the Kenny Powers of Gator. His eyes and facial features are tiny. Too small for that head, dog. Gator's, yeah. Go back. He looks stressed. What is going on?

Look at his face. He's definitely hot so far. stressed. What is going on? Look at his face. Danny is definitely hot so far. Yeah. What the? He's out of four holes. Big head. So much face on the sides. I think Andy Corgini is a little off.

He has three rises, and you have to hit it firm. I think Danny Dora takes the whole thing down. Jimmy, how much do these guys do? Look at that Kodak. It's almost too obvious. Oh, yeah. I take it to Kodak. I think Danny Dore takes the whole thing down. Jimmy, how much do these guys have? Oh, look at that Kodak. It's almost too obvious. Oh, yeah. I take it a Kodak. Whoa, what just happened?

VHS skipping? It takes a lot of dedication just to get speed down. Oh, this is unusual. He's putting this front door. Oh, front door. Look at this. Oh, Danny Dore. Oh, my God.

Big head, little ass face. Danny Dore. Oh, my God. Big head, little ass face. Danny Dore in my life. It takes a lot of skill to be able to make that particular putt. Look at the guy without his shirt on. Hell, yeah. He's just an onlooker. This is my favorite. Look at this.

This is incredible. This is the best. I love how they're all wearing golf pants, too. I know. They didn't wear shorts. It does feel like we're on cheap seats. Oh, it's Danny Dore. It wins $3,000.

Wow. That's got pace on it. Oh, my God. Oh. Just enough. Wow. What a duel this is. Way to go.

Great party. Earlier today, I asked the guys, what it's like to play on the tour. Sit them down. We travel all over the country. Wait, they travel for this? I have friends that live everywhere. It's very exciting to travel and to see our friends and compete against one another and get together and talk about what we're doing away from putt-putt.

We have a lot of camaraderie on the tour, and it's a wonderful thing. I've been playing for over 20 years now on the tour. I enjoy the travel. I enjoy the friendship. I know a lot of the guys. I've known them for years. I look forward to playing every March when it starts back up. I enjoy competition. When I was younger, I played other sports like basketball.

Did it just stop? I'm trying to look more into it. Danny Dora was competing in a tournament in Baltimore in 2015, so this is still... This is still happening? This was, what, 88? We've got to watch the end of this, right? It was nine years ago.

I've got to see who wins. Hopefully speed to go up the rise and into the hole. That was a great putt. Good speed. Jimmy, do the guys have a spot on the hole that they're aiming at when they bank it? Great question. Are they doing this on purpose?

Do they mean to make that shot? Or is that just kind of a... They want to get in. Rip it, rip it situation. Speed is very critical, too. Because if you don't hit the exact area... I just... Breaking it down.

The speed is indeed critical. And so far, Dave's negotiated. There you go. There you go, Corradini. Corradini's back. Danny doesn't even have to putt. It's another carryover. The ninth hole.

Oh, because two of them hit it. $4,500 on the line. None of them have won it. No, nobody's won a dollar. $4,500 again. $4,500, Jimmy. Did you ever play for $4,500? I hope so.

As a matter of fact, I did. Oh, look at this. Oh. That was a bad bounce. He was playing the backdoor shot, and it just depends, again. I kind of like this format. And the way you hit the putt. It's all or nothing.

Danny looks like he's lining up to play it straight. Come on, Doar. This putt can be played straight, but it's real difficult to get the line. Danny Doar. Come on, Danny. You got this, Danny. Come on, Danny. Come on.

Am I understanding this correctly? This is a skins game. Yeah. So it's just rolling. Okay. Look at this. Oh, Doar. Come on. Come on. Am I understanding this correctly? This is a skins game. Yeah. So it's just rolling. Okay. Look at this. Oh. Oh, door.

The door. You're absolutely perfect. This guy is electric. Holy shit. Danny door. Wait, did he win that hole, TJ? Because he can save it and take the next hole. I can't.

So now a lot of pressure here. Huge. He's got a match, right? It's the tie. Oh, my God. Oh, he's fucked it up. A little too far right. Oh, no. That's $4,500 for Danny Dore.

Danny. One of your carryovers there, Mick. See me at the bar after. Not a lot to that scoreboard. $4,500 to Danny Dore after nine. Putt-putt titans. Goddamn. I mean, TJ, I don't know why I keep taking it off.

Yeah. I need to see the conclusion. You can't be more clear that we're watching this whole thing. I want to see the whole thing. I want to live in that world. I want to see the woman on his hip as he's raising the trophy. This is the beauty of the act. You don't know what day we're just going to show up

and watch an entire putt-putt championship from 1998. It's not just the $500. The prize money is also the American Hole-in-One $500. Can you tell us about that? Get these guys to commentate. The American Hole-in-One is worth an extra $500. The American Hole-in-One is the largest sports risk insurer in the world. And this hole will be an extra $500 bonus for the pro that scores that hole-in-one to win it.

And if no one makes the hole-in-one, then they lose that $500. But if two tie all time, it moves on to the next hole. So let's get back to the action. Let's go, door. Looks like Danny's pretty hot, though, Mick. Danny is hot. Straight at it again, Jimmy. Oh, he missed this. Looks like he got it a little left, a little off line. And this is the big money hole. Danny is Straight at it again Jimmy Oh

Looks like you got it A little left A little off line And this is the big money hole Was that door Oh Yeah Thank god he's staying

Hydrogen Exactly This is strenuous condition All that walking David now Button Line up ball You got it left too. So that leaves Andy Cordini now.

Come on, Andy. The American Hall of One. The $500 bonus and the $500 if he makes the ace. It would be a great way for Andy to get back into the match. Here we go. This is him. I think he'll concentrate an extra. When was Dahmer?

When did he get arrested? Because like, is he is he post Dahmer? Good to get that first. Yeah, right. It was like 80s. Oh, there we go. Pride is right. Yeah, I think early 90s.

So he's he's making a choice. Mid Dahmer. Yeah. This is 98. This is 98. This is 98? I know. That's what I'm saying. Wait, what?

I know. I thought it was 88. No, 98. Oh, yuck. I know. Isn't that insane? I was alive for this? Yeah.

91. Dahmer was apprehended. So he's. 1991. Yeah. He's making a choice with that. Oh. Oh. Whoa.

Oh, we got next. This is 98. Yeah. It looks very 98. I guess I don't. How old were you in 98? Old enough to fucking break the rules. I guess I don't. That means hole number 12 is now worth $1,000. How old were you in 98? Andy Corradini. Old enough to fucking break the rules.

I was older playing this. It's about an 18-footer straight. It's treacherous if you miss it, but if you hit the right foot, right speed. Treacherous if you miss it. You only take one shot. Treacherous. I kind of want Cor Cordini to win now. Yeah?

Oh, shirtless guy's back. Danny Dore can't be beat, right? No, he can because they had the bonus carryover. Oh, holy shit. You pussy, Danny. He might be throwing it. You know, the PPA, Professional Putter Association, started in 1960, Mick. She got her hair blown. Oh, she wants some Danny Doerr.

These putters right now are doing a great job. No. Oh. I don't like that guy. Pete Sampras looking ass. Oh, get in.,500. Get in. Be good. Be good.

Come on. Be good. He's breaking down. Yeah, I think it's just that he's struggling. The back nine's taking a toll on his body. Damn. Is that guy wearing golf shoes? The cameraman with the fan in the red.

Yeah. I think he's wearing golf shoes. Oh, no. Oh. All right, coordinating for the money here. Heat up. Heat up. Ordini might be getting high.

Turn ball. Turn ball. Oh, yeah, he's back. He's on the prowl. Just give me Danny Dore and Corradini. Fuck this. I see Andy pulling it a little closer. He now has $2,000.

Danny Dore, $4,500. It's heating up. Yeah, McCaslin should just read the room. There's nothing to that hole at all. No, it had a little bump. A little bump. On the backside. It's such a precise putt.

Oh, look at that stance. They're talking like this is the hardest thing in the world. He performed it absolutely perfectly. Let's see what Andy does. I love the Corradini talk to his wall. Now, the strange thing about this format is that David really has putted well today, made a lot of aces, but as yet, he hasn't won any of the cash. Let's see if Danny can stop him one more time.

Come on, Danny. Danny will be giving his best shot. It looks like it's going to turn right. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it.

He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. If you don't get it in, that breaks proper. We have the ability to mush something that happened 25 years ago. We just said that he should quit. There it is. The race is on. Not really, though. Thank goodness.

And we'll be back with more great putting after these messages. That was just a pool. What do we got here? Oh, yeah. Oh. Subway. Hell yes. Oh, they start goofing.

Once you stop, you can't pop. These guys don't live by society's rules. Oh, yes. This was so much fun. Oh, that sound doesn't exist anymore, does it? The greasy ones. Placeland the stack. You could win a six for the family. That sound doesn't exist anymore, does it? The greasy ones. Oh, yeah. There was always X-Crisis.

Oh, the X-Crisis. This is like the golden age of ESPN. Of everything. Of literally everything. We have proven Billy right. Yeah. This entire thing I want my mom to walk in with pizza rolls

Yeah Now Billy wasn't alive for this But that's neither here nor there Fuck yeah Fuck yeah So comfortable Look at this So comfortable. There's no real reason to who gets the tee.

Yeah, that's true. What is that? He's back, folks. Well, one thing we have seen is there's no lack of aces from the pros. They really are putting tremendously today. Fantastic. It's a great putting exhibition. See, this is when fat was power, too. That guy was boss.

Look at David. Seven aces with only one hole that he's actually won. He's putting great. Oh, beautiful putt. Corradini doesn't even have to go. The 90s were like an era of the FUPA, the midsection. You don't see it too much these days. I think it was different, too, because it was like fat was a lot more like you got older and you got fat.

You earned it. That is a good point. Even the fat people today don't have FUPAs like that. I remember growing up, all the men, men's basketball coaches had fupas. Well, everybody tucked in their shirts back then, too. Yeah. Look at those guys. Wait, go back.

Those guys are like just, those two guys right there are just. Yeah, they don't care. They're fucking power. They got putters with them. I think Chris Christie's like the last guy to rock that look. Right. Yeah. Danny Doe will be Right. Charlie Weiss.

This is 18. How much money is at stake here? A lot. $2,000. Oh, it doesn't. I look good. And then you got Danny's face with his tiny little feet. I think his mouth is shrinking every hole.

His face is just way too big. Looks like a cabbage patch. I need to get a hole in one of these. Oh, that. Oh! Oh, that wasn't. Oh. Ordee. That. Oh. Oh, that wasn't. Oh, McCaskin. Fucking McCaskin.

He did that. No sideburns at all. We literally mustered. There's a lot of great putting. And David McCaskin, a lot happier with that putt for $2,000. That means he won $2,500 on the day. A lot of different designs on the polos. $4,500. Actually, I don't like this.

I feel very unsatisfied. I guess Danny Dore won, but he just played well in the first nine. He just won the first nine, yeah. He really just played well in the ninth hole. Yeah. Full cut. Oh, look at that. What's...

None of those guys are young. Let me see this check. This year, 1998 U.S. Open. Coverage continues today at 5 on ESPN. Let me see this check. I feel like we're time traveling. I know, this is incredible. And now for the fun part, the presentation of the checks, and who better to do that than Bobby Owens, the CEO of Pup Pup Girls. Bobby, take it.

Thank you, Mick. It's my honor to present to Andy Corradini. Check for $2,000 for your third place performance, but in addition to third place, I've got something else that'll make finishing last in this show. A little bit better. He's taken from American Hole and won $500. Congratulations, my friend.

You finished. Finishing last. In his second place, David. He's a my friend. You finished. Finishing last. In his second place. He's a tiny fist. He does. $2500. Great buddy, fella. Wonderful show. I hope the crowd goes nuts.

Oh, here comes a big check. To Danny Duel from Ross Mannion, director of operations of the resort. Thank you, Mick. And on behalf of Orange Lake Resort and Country Club, Danny, it's a pleasure to present you this trophy for first place. It's my last name. Congratulations. Not only that, have a nice check to take home with you.

Wait, wasn't that big? Oh, what the fuck? It looked a lot bigger when it was on the ground. Thank you, Russ. Congratulations. That's now two years in a row that Danny's been the big winner on television. What does he sound like? What do you think?

Last year, we mentioned that. Deep? High? High pitch. High pitch. High pitch, I'm hoping. She said you were going to give her love, and I just went to talk to her, and she said, that's great, but anything else?

Whatever she'd like to have, we'll go out and get it. What is this? Back home to Baltimore. Now, she's going to be watching this, and she's going to say, that's great. This was a big win today. You partied really well, didn't you? Look at those massive glasses on the back. Got off to a great start.

Kept tie, tie, tie, and finally, I got a little opening, and won a lot of money in one hole. That's fun, isn't it? Look at those massive glasses on the back. Finally, I got a little opening and won a lot of money in one hole. There's that Baltimore accent. Luckily, it came my way. And that's the fun of this format. The big winner, Danny Dore. $4,500, but we're all winners today. We all had a lot of fun. Remember, putt-putt is a game for all the families. I love it.

That was awesome. That was amazing. We'll be watching next time on television. Until then, good night. I just want to live there. I know. I'm going to get high and watch that on the yard. I don't want to do this now. I just want to go fucking putt-putt with Danny Dore.

I want to go to that country club. With Mick Lenhurst on the call. Yeah, getting on a jet ski after you play 18. Strenuous 18. Where was that? Where is that? I think like Florida. Yeah. Right?

What was the name of the golf club? It was like Orange Lake or something. Orange something. Yeah. Yeah. Don't look it up because then it could ruin it for something. Yeah. Probably might not even exist anymore.

Do you think they're still married? Why are you trying to kill everything? You did that with Nico. You tried to kill Nico. You tried to kill Orange. No, I was just trying to uplift. You keep saying it might be dead. I wasn't even thinking about whether it was dead. Nico could be dead.

We were looking at an alien whose arthritis was killing him 10 years ago. Oh, yeah. Katrina took it away. Oh, no. Way to go, Brandon. I didn't do it. Katrina did it.

Katrina was 20 years ago. We wouldn't have looked it up if you hadn't said it. We wouldn't just still be happy. In our heads, it still existed. Y'all were all discussing it before I discussed it. We weren't going to look it up. Damn. Well, that ruined the whole thing.

This seems unfair to say that I ruined everything. Yeah, you ruined it. Moat, do you think I ruined it? No comment. Kyle? Wait, shut up. Did you exercise this morning? Not as much.

I'm going to do it this afternoon. No, you're not. I didn't have nowhere to do it. I didn't have any. Where are you going to do it this morning? Not as much. I'm going to do it this afternoon. No, you're not. I didn't have nowhere to do it. Where are you going to do it this afternoon? The Anytime Fitness in Antioch, Illinois. Oh, cool. I didn't have anywhere to do it. You didn't have anywhere to walk?

Where was I going to walk? I didn't know if I could walk on this stuff. This stuff looks expensive. Nowhere could I walk. See, those are the platforms. Y'all took my gym equipment. Y'all took everything. As soon as I start getting active, you take it all.

That is very funny timing. By the way, we have to have Mincy on. Why? Yeah. Yes. What did he sell you on? Oh, that's the cause. Can we just say this?

They're going to have Hawks for the cause? Well, what do we mean? We got to make it. I'm going to donate, but what should we make him do? I was thinking we could do a sporkle and every question he gets right is a certain amount of money. But perhaps. I like that. Fair to the Hawks for the cause people well it's i mean mincy takes every donation

that we give and makes it his own yeah right i want to see him camp out somewhere on his own with a tent look at the profile oh no are we not don't we're not what What's the... Oh, no. Oh, no. He hasn't done anything. He's just leaning on us. That's what I'm saying. He's got to do something. Was he not allowed to start fundraising until right before the weekend?

No, I think he just... Doubtful. Okay. How does this work? We give him money and he goes and gets credit. Yeah. He goes to parties in New Orleans and gets credit. Does he have to raise

a certain amount of money to get something no it's just it's just a general fundraiser yeah like uh he gets dan's money and then goes down there to the south and acts like he brought it off hey i by the way thanks for that uh money for the rings yeah of course i can't wait to see him are we getting one yeah maybe i don. I don't know. I am. What? I might not have told him about you. So wait, you just did a Mincy. Huh?

That's it. I told him. Okay. Yeah. So he, yeah, he goes down the best as we went there. Was it 2019? No, 2021. And he was just like the whole time.

He's like, I can't believe got dave and big cat to come to hogs for a cause and we're like mincy the the final four is here we're here for the final four do you think he's known as like a top dog philanthropist oh for sure in circles mincy's just like a giant donor it is a great cause though though, so I will be donating. But what should we make him do? I want to see him tread water. We still need to tread. We still need to do a redemption on that. Steven's the worst water treader of all time.

He almost drowned. All right, what else? Maybe just dig a hole. Give us some ideas, Chad. Somebody said that $1 for every follower he loses over the next X amount of time. Oh, that's mean. But funny. Can we make him pose on one of the penises out there like he's getting railed? We could do that.

We could probably trick him. Everyone wants him to cook something. Oh. We've done that, though. And it was awesome. It's been a massive hit. Max Wellington. What could he do?

We could just say find something in the kitchen and cook it. Bacon? No, that's a fire. Anything past grilled cheese is going to... Grilled cheese was a fire. Grilled cheese was a fire grilled cheese was a fire it was 100% a fire alright well

Mincy come down here I don't know can you ping can you hit his keys yeah let him get some ideas here let him throw some things out there yeah cause he just wants to sit here and get money we could I don't know Yeah, because he just wants to sit here and get money. We could... I don't know.

Why don't you do the High Noon ad read while we think? I'll do it. The High Noon El Prez pack is here featuring the top four High Noon vodka seltzer flavors as ranked by El Prez himself. These flavors include Passion Fruit, Pineapple, Pear, and my personal favorite, the all-new flavor tangerine, all made with real vodka and real juice.

This 12-pack is only here for a limited time, so get it while you can. Just look for the pack with Dave's face on it. You can even scan the QR code on the pack and have El Prez virtually join your party. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find the El Prez pack nearest you. What's going on in there? Big time hangout. Is Mitts here?

Yeah, he's upstairs. Oh, shit. Arsenal game, I guess. Is that right, Zah? Is it a big game, sir? Yeah, we got eight cup finals left now. Two points off the top, eight games left. So it's huge.

Did you like how Nicky Smokes was dressed today? Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Is the game started? It starts in 30 minutes at 1.30. Did you see Dave's tweet about it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should turn off the TVs on them.

Old classic. That's fine. We should make them watch the PGA mini-golf. Yeah, no, but TJ, we can do that, right? Yeah, I think so. Okay. We should have Mincy go in there and change it. Well, Blutman does control the iPad.

Oh, that's right. He would have returning power. Wait, Dave. Yeah, Dave. Incompressibly dumb. I think it was incomprehensible. Incomparably? I think it was incomprehensibly dumb.

But yeah, that kind of hurts Dave's argument. Incompressibly. Well, can he be compressed? Oh, we should try to compress Nicky Smokes. Update it was incompressibly dumb Nicky Smokes who wrote it checks out. Yeah, it's not a word. It's not even a word. Did you ping Mincy's keys?

I can text him. It said not reachable move around to connect good old mincy i got a dm that says everyone wants to see mincy bob for apples dressed like a hog oh i like that did you guys see this new fad going around that people are giving powerpoints to each other to each other's friends to tell them what they do? I saw that, yeah. I don't like that.

It's like... And they're getting shit on. Yeah. It's like the lamest thing ever. To explain what their job is. I didn't know it was a trend. I thought it was just one friend. I don't know if it's a trend or not.

Oh, I like it. Oh, what they do for work? I thought it was like a roast. No. People don't actually know what people do for work. I thought it was like a roast. People don't actually know what people do for work. I thought that was just a joke. I don't know what it is. No, that's true. I have no idea.

You know what your friends do for work? I know what all my friends do for work. I do not know what it is. I couldn't tell you exactly what my dad did for work. I have five friends. A doctor, a tobacco salesman, a special ed teacher, a graphic designer, and an x-ray technician. Just made all those up. No, I didn't.

I can tell you the names. I got a lawyer, a forensic accountant, a medical salesman. That's what you guys do now. And a PT. Yeah. Y'all don't know? There's a lot of like big U.S. roles. I know what sectors they work in. Titus, your five best friends right now, what do they do? U.S. roles. I know what sectors they work in.

Titus, your five best friends right now, what do they do? Business. Yeah. Education of some sort. You know what that person does. Education. Is it a teacher? Is it a principal?

I don't know. They're just like fucking working and educating. Like, I don't know. I have financial services. Okay. Sales. Okay. Bar owner.

Okay. By sales,. Bar owner. Okay. By sales, do you know what that person sells? No. Other medical journals. Are y'all... I gotta ask, are y'all assholes? No, I just don't really... No, I don't...

That's not their identity. Yeah, we don't talk... Like, all my friends, it's like, I don't... But I'm not like, what did you... How was your day at work? Like, I vaguely know what they're doing. When I see my friends, I'm not like, how's work going? I'm like, my friends it's like i don't i know what my but i'm not like what did you how was your day at work like i know what they're doing when i see my friends i'm not like how's work going i'm like dude what's up and they're like how's the i asked how the family is i know how many kids they have i know my closest friends who i talk to like every day three of them i could tell you the genre marketing genre software i could name genres. What sector you're in. Yeah. Sales, hospital. I couldn't tell you. Mark Titus show.

Part of my take. Yeah. But details, no. I couldn't tell you what the worst part of their day. Right. Some of them travel. I don't know why. I don't even know what people do here.

Am I by myself here? No, I'm with you. I know companies. I don't even know what people do here. There are people that work here that I don't even really know what they do. You don't talk about that stuff. Yeah. Because when I see Jake Malasek, I'm not asking him what the fuck he's doing.

For example, what does Mintz do? No one knows. No one knows, dude. No one knows. Actually, you answer that question. Mintzy, what do you do? What would you say if you had to go get a job tomorrow, what would be on your resume? It would say Barstool Sports, then under it it would say what?

I think it would say content. I would say, well, at least lately we're doing a show every week, but that's a very recent development. Last two weeks. Last few. Third week in a row. We're getting hot on that. Wait, you've done Wake Up Mincy three weeks in a row now?

It's the third week in a row. We're going every week right now Wait, you've done Wake Up Mincy three weeks in a row now? It's the third week in a row. We're going every week right now. We're going to just go forward with that, trying to build it. You did it the week of March Madness? Yeah, it's the third week in a row. Wow. Yeah, but no, we're doing that right now, going forward, trying to build it. Okay.

Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What made you – what was the light bulb moment where you're like, if I'm going to do a show, I should do it? Well, it was just figuring out that we could do it with Moody not being here. Got it. And so once we figure out how we do remote,

and then we can also do Zoom videos for guests. I saw you were behind the switchboard today. Yeah, I had to change the camera during the show. And you did it well? I mean, I didn't screw it up too bad bad quigs had to help a little bit yeah but but uh but yeah so we're going forward building you know okay excited about that uh i would say i don't know if this is on a resume but i would kind of say like the fill-in six-man role wherever y'all need me to throw in whether it be streams or shows yeah well yak uh you know i'm kind of a first man out the bullpen kind of thing for everything.

I don't know if that's a resume thing. But I guess I don't know how to put this on there, but I should just say causing chaos would probably be. Tasmanian devil. Yeah. I don't know if that's a strong thing to put on a resume, but it's true. Right. But if you're trying to get a job somewhere and your big thing is causing chaos.

Yeah, but then he can also say, what's your big weakness? You're like, I tell the truth too much. I would say my biggest weakness would be my lack of awareness for sure. I think that's very, very obvious. And cooking. Yeah, that too. Yeah, but I think the lack of awareness just overall would be. But it's actually kind of a strength here. I'm in the only job where it actually helps me so you know what should have

you enroll in culinary school yeah well i'm already getting i'm getting geared up for this the this the billy madison series yeah comment and that's that's going to be something that's incredible all right so talk to us about hogs for a cause okay well it seems like we're not doing great on the i just started the fund i actually made a ton of private fundraising calls it went really well oh hell yeah yeah no i called i called all my like i had like a target of like 60 people that i all know would donate and i got a lot of big commitments just so where's the we saw the i got the donation like i just created it so it's only okay it's only got a few hundred now but it's just last minute how expensive is being your friend what do you mean by that your friends yeah how often do you ask them for money oh i don't i i

it's not a really an asking from oh oh you're talking about the charity thing yeah yeah that is that is that is pretty yeah well yeah question was? I thought you meant like was I asking to like borrow money and stuff like that. Like I don't borrow money from friends like day to day life. How expensive is it to be one of your friends? Yeah, per annually. Like what's the buy-in?

Are we counting like dinners and housing and all that stuff too? Whatever it takes to. Just like when I go stay with people and stuff on the road. I don't know. Pretty expensive. Yeah, it's probably – yeah, I think that's fair. Are we talking a $5,000 commitment on a yearly basis? Depends on how close you are to me.

So the higher you get, the – Yeah, I'd say my closest ones, though, yeah, it's probably not. What happens if the commitment doesn't end up being money? Can Hogsworth College – do you go there and you're like, hey, I got commitments, but it maybe isn't money yet? Oh, we're good with them forever. They love just everything we've done and supported them. We're a lifetime good for them because we brought so much awareness to them. All right, so should we figure out what my commitment is going to be this year?

Whatever you want to do. I'm willing to – I was kind of thinking, I mentioned this to you last week, because last year we did the 10K for it. Yep. But we've already done that. So I think – but I'm down to whatever I've got to do right for the brand if y'all got funny puns. Are you here tomorrow?

I can't. I mean, my flight's at like 2.30 or 3. Oh, no. But I might be moving. Or 3. I think flights at like 2.30 or 3. Oh, no. 2.30 or 3. I think it's like 2.20. But I could look for a late-night flight if we did something possibly. I'm back here, and I'll be back Monday morning. I mean, we could come up with something that he'd have to do.

Or I could just— I could do it. I'll be here in the morning for—I mean, I'll be here all morning. I could do something in the morning. We could just have him rip a Sporkle right now and see how many he can get. What's a Sporkle? That could be a he can get. What's a Sporkle? That could be a section of the – What's a Sporkle?

It's true. Yeah. What about – So, you know what? Look for a later flight. What about Brandon versus Menci and the winner gets to say the donations from them? I pass. You don't want – oh, you don't want to help the kids?

I privately already donated. Okay. Brandon's supported. Do you have a supporter? I've donated every time. Yeah, you always have. I appreciate that. Okay. Okay. Brandon's supported. Do you have him supported? I've donated every time. Yeah, you always have. I appreciate that. Okay, so.

Split them off. I like that. Yeah, because I already donated, right? Privately. Privately. That's a little fun. We're getting close to the final four of WrestleMania. Yeah.

Yeah. We'll continue this discussion tomorrow at Mostly Sports. Be sure to tune into that. Oh, you're not going to be here tomorrow? I got to go. I got gotta fly out tomorrow morning what i have to be in a tag team match with the ms and our truth tomorrow in philadelphia you're missing who's gonna fill in mostly i don't know i i brandon's gonna no i wait i got that wrong i we talked about it and i got that wrong too i have to figure out who's gonna fill in i'll be here okay if you need me actually that's perfect because i'll be here tomorrow and then i was thinking monday um if you're doing final four stuff

what rico bosco will be in the final four. Oh, yeah. We could have Rico take over Brandon's chair. That would be good. I wouldn't do that to you, Titus. That doesn't do it with Britt. I wouldn't make you do that. That would be torture. Serenity now.

Live in your dream. It's an ad deal. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. 2K is paying for me. Do you think Brandon wants to go to WrestleMania and play video games all day tomorrow? No, I don't. Do you think he wants to do that? I don't. I just work because I have to. You're putting food on the table.

The Miz wants me to come hang out with him and do stuff. Alright, so what can we have, Mincy? Tomorrow you want it because we don't have the use of the court, so it would have to be all in here. Maybe get them on a beach. Get in a balloon. Oh, Mincy. Paige is convinced that that new blower works for that balloon.

Oh, let's get him. Oh, get it right now. Get him in a balloon. Get him in a balloon. I'll do it. Hell yes. Yeah. Can you go get it, Brandon?

This balloon is not from, like, the Grateful Dead or Fish Lots, obviously, right? All right, here's what we're going to do. We'll do it right now so you don't have to change your flight. Sit in that seat right there. Okay. And we'll pull up a sporkle. Let's go $100 for every answer you get right, and then I'll double it if you get in the balloon,

if you're successfully able to get in the balloon. Does that work? And everyone, please, if you have money and you want to donate, it's a great cause. All right. You sent TJ the link. SJ too. He just donated.

Appreciate it. SJ too? Too. Oh, nice. That's the guys who wrote Michael Orr? Yeah. Oh, wait. Don't.

No, but SJ. No, but yeah, don't shout out. Don't agree to that. You didn't hear? What? You listened to what I say. I said those are the guys that robbed Michael O'Rourke. Oh, you said Rob.

Yeah. I thought you said Michael O'Rourke's name. He did. I don't know about that. I don't think they did either. I don't either. I definitely don't either. All right, good people.

But he's got – I think they're coming up here summer with Gus Malzahn and Johnny Dawkins, too, coming through Chicago. So we need to get them through the office. Hell, yes. Yeah, like June. So I'll let you know. We'll have Gus do the gauntlet.

He'll do it. He's down. They just want to come in and check out the office. I love it. Him and Johnny Dawkins. I think it's like mid-June. I love it. All right, so we're going to get you in a balloon,

but first you've got to get Sporkle. Okay, what does that mean? It's just the thing we do. You've done it before. You've done it before. Oh, it's the gauntlet. How much time should we give him? This is a dollar?

How do we do the gauntlet? How much time? How do we do the gauntlet with no? No, you're not doing the gauntlet. You're just doing the Sporkle from the gauntlet. How much time is on it by default, TJ? Ten minutes. Oh.

Let's do five. Five? We can give him another Sporkle. Let's go Ten minutes. Oh. Let's do five. Five? We can give him another Sporkle. Let's go five minutes. We can give him an identify a celebrity Sporkle. Oh, so this is Sporkle the trivia. Yes. Okay, I didn't know what you meant.

Yeah, yeah. That's exactly. Yeah. Okay. That is what it is. All right. Find one, TJ, that you think might have a little bit of difficulty. Should we make one real quick?

Oh. Or no, just go with the yak. How would he? Yeah. I don't know how to make one. I have one that's never been played before. I don't know difficulty, and I don't know how to gauge difficulty here. Do it.

Let's do it. Mm-hmm. Okay. Five minutes? Five minutes. You ready? Got this. Let's do it. Okay. Five minutes? Five minutes. You ready? $100 for every correct answer. No deductions for wrong answers.

Okay. They're just fire. So I'm just here answering questions? Yeah. Okay. Just fire. Okay. And this is for the kids.

Are they sports or whatever? I'll just roll the plug. Okay. Here we go. Any of these categories. Five minutes, Mincy. Ready, set, go. i can't even read them uh i literally can't read those categories i'm sorry

that's 10 seconds you've lost three male tennis players with most single grand slam titles uh pete sampras roger fetter uh no uh three hundred dollars okay roger fetter no no pete uh novak djokovic uh and rafael nadal uh okay Two main branches of Islam, Muslim. Okay. All right. That is all of them. No, Hindu is not Islam. Oh, 13 states with Division III football programs.

Okay. Texas, Ohio. Anything here? Texas, Ohio, Tennessee. You missed a word there, Mincy. 13 states with Division III football programs. What word did I miss? Mincy, you've got to lock in.

Read it again. Read it again. Lock in, Mincy. Except read each word. Go slow. 13 states with no – Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho. Let's go.

New Mexico, Wyoming. Oh, they've got them in the northeast. Louisiana. Yeah, blow it up here. Let's see. Arizona. Maine. No, they probably have one there.

I think it's Mother's Day. Oh, crap. Connecticut. Tennessee. No, they probably have one there. I think it's another state. Oh, crap. Connecticut. Tennessee. No, Tennessee has them. Mississippi. Arkansas. You're just naming states.

I know, but I'm trying to think of ones that don't have states. That's $700 right now. No, Mississippi has them. They have JUCOs mainly, though. Delta State, man. Oh, yeah, the Fighting Okra. Crap. They got me.

The Fighting Okra. Crap. They got me. The Fighting Okra. Oklahoma, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota. They have them. North Dakota, South Dakota. Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Pennsylvania, I already said. New York. No, they have them in New York. South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Georgia.

Impressive. New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island. I'm just naming states. You're right. Go to something else, Minson. Okay. Five MLB teams that never won a World Series. Five that have never won a World Series.

Okay. That's one. One. That's one. One. Never won. Who's new-1. Never won. The Colorado Rockies have not won one.

You should be able to get one of the Seinfeld characters. Hang on. Crap, I'm losing my concentration. Come on, Luke. Never won a World Series. Tampa Bay Devil Rays have not won one. Let's see. Everybody won a World Series. Never won a World Series. Tampa Bay Devil Rays have not won one. Let's see.

American League East. Everybody else has won one. American League Central. American League West. National League Central. The Pirates won with Clemente back in the day. Cubs, Cardinals. Who else is in there?

Well, the Rangers just won. Crap. They just won one. Damn it. The A's have won. The the Rangers just won. Crap. They just won one. Damn it. The A's have won. The Reds have won. I don't know. Minute 30,

Mitz. First name of main characters in the song. Four first names. First names. Jerry, Elaine, George, what's Kramer? Michael. Because Kramer's first name is Michael. Four first names of main characters in Seinfeld.

I didn't get that. Wait, Michael. Kramer's first name Michael? Michael. Michael Kramer in the show. Okay, I'm way wrong. Oh, my God. It is Michael.

I thought Kramer's his last name. Well, I'll say kramer uh even though i don't think that's right um let's see uh what's what's that nicotine pouches lucy zen skip that one okay i'll give you i'll give you an extra two. Okay. Lucy is 10 flavors or whatever. Lucy's are lovely, by the way. I kind of really like them.

Two lowest rated movie stars of movies in Adam Sandler's career. Go back to MLB teams. Okay. MLB teams. Okay. Don't mix it up. Padres, have they won one? I don'tB teams. Okay, Diamondbacks, Dodgers. Padres, have they won one? I don't think so.

That feels right. That feels right. Padres, Dodgers have, Giants have. Diamondbacks have. Okay, so I got Rockies. NL system. Ten. Pirates, Cardinals, Reds, Chicago.

Seven. Oh, KC won. Minnesota Twins have won. Detroit Tigers, have they won? Yes. Detroit Tigers have won. Okay. All right, KC won. Minnesota Twins have won. Detroit Tigers, have they won? Yes. Detroit Tigers have won. Okay. All right, that's it.

17. So you're $1,700. Hell yeah. Plus two. That's a good haul. $1,900. Okay. A round up to two grand.

Thank you, Big Cat. That's very nice. And let's try to get you in a balloon for four grand. Let's do it. Thank you, man. What are the other? It's Brewers, right? Oh, that was the Twins.

Mariners. Twins have won. The Twins beat the Braves. Mariners have never won. Oh, shit? Oh, that was the Twins. Mariners. Twins have won. The Twins beat the Braves. Mariners have won. Oh, shit. Oh, the Mariners. Michael. Mariners.

I got you for $20, too. Dude, that's great, man. Even $5 helps. Cosmo Kramer. Oh, I'll do $5. Oh, Cosmo. How to forget that. Damn it.

I'm going to make mine $5 now. All right, so let's get you in the balloon. Okay. Where's the balloon? It's right here. Two branches. Brandon, why don't you run the leaf blower? Let's be'all thing.

Why? Should he take his shoes off? Yeah, take his shoes off. And then practice standing on one foot. Brandon, you do the leaf blower. Do I need to take everything out of my pocket? Anything electronic. Yeah.

I also have... That's what we're going to use. I have an idea also, Big Cat. Someone DMed me. They said they would like to see Mincy give a presentation on what people in this office do. Oh, I like that. So I think we just bring in random people and see if he can describe their job. I like that. All right, let's get to four grand here, Mincy.

Isn't your goal five? You got the commitment. I know. Oh. All right, so I think it's just two grand. Oh. All right, so I think it's just two grand. Oh. Oh, it's... The other one, do we fix the other one or no?

No. I think it's... I don't understand it. Fuck. Wait, put that on March 2nd. Sit on that, Mincy. Fix the blower. Sit on it. on that Mincy Sit on it Sit on it

Alright yeah we just can't get you in this It sucks Alright you can get up Alright I'll donate the two grand Commitment I mean everybody says it all the time All right, you can get up. All right, I'll donate the two grand. Commitment. I mean, everybody says it all the time, Dan, but you're freaking awesome. Your ass is right.

Oh, yeah. Show it to them. Eat it. In all seriousness, though, thank you, Dan. Of course. I know you say that, but it really means a lot. No, it's a great cause. It's a great cause. You've gone above and beyond for me.

Kids and cancer, we've got to donate as much as we can why did you wait so late this year i don't really have an answer for that but i definitely always raised the last week though that's usually what i do and then i got that link up even if still he's gonna get five bucks it helps uh i'm gonna get i mean last year i raised almost 50 i'm not gonna get there but i think i can get to 15 or 20, which is obviously great. Paige, we need a different blower. What happened?

The blower didn't work. Blower stopped working. Oh, and Big Cat. We need air compressors. Big Cat, next week, can we do the negotiations with poker? Because World Series Chicago main event next weekend. Should we let it flow back into the thing again? Yeah, it doesn't stick twice. I don't think so. Not really. Where's the blower? You to give it a go yeah let me look at the blower maybe i'll fix it

our blower budget is insane insane oh that's it wait is that one fixed watch watch hold on stick around Mincy no no no blow into it blow into the balloon

like it can't handle the blow back can't handle the blow back see yeah I don't have a battery charger in my pocket See? Yeah. I don't have a battery charger in my pocket. I have one. Let me see this.

It's a charger battery, and I think we're good. Okay. Oh, maybe we just got to charge the battery. Yeah. We don't have a battery charger. We do. We have one. Let's charge it. Not in here.

We just got to charge the battery. We just got to charge the battery, guys. Mincy, we might have you come back to get in this balloon. Oh, you are? Oh. Right now? Wow. I think they're making a video.

Oh. I could go for a grilled cheese. Yeah. Might lurk around. Hey, what a beautiful life he lived. So jealous. He just has it all. He's stuck in 1998 constantly.

No worries. Everything's good. Just everything is good. His ass don't make sense. No. Never did. Even when he smacked it, I was like, what is it? It's going to make a gong noise maybe? I don't know. Never made sense. Never did. Even when he smacked it, I was like, what is it? It's going to make like a gong noise maybe?

I don't know. Never made sense. Never will. That's Mincy. There's our Mincy. That's Mincy. That's Mincy. Michael Kramer.

Michael Kramer. How long do you think I'll like Mincy will be in my life? Forever. I think it's like one of you has to die yeah because you asked that question about how much money it costs to be his friend like you just asked me it's a lot you're it's a lot you're you've got to be in the 10 10 thousands it's a ton of money sounds like that was a great question too because yeah it looks like some of the dudes but with that with that in, you're never retiring, Dan. Yeah, right.

You're never going to retire because you're always going to want Mince in your life. You're always going to want Jerry in your life. They cost me money. You're always going to want to gamble on sports. You're going to look around and be like, why am I not just working? Yeah, I'm going to be the guy who's like,

hey, why don't you take it easy? It's like, I can't afford to. He said he's been usually calling all of his targets targets but he just called all his friends yeah commitments yeah commitments were you one of his targets i'm usually just a quick text and i'm not a call he's just a beautiful beautiful creature i love him so much i don't love him well he actually has been doing this new thing with me where he walked by my office and he knows like if i'm busy he'll just be like just saying hi that's it that's what he says but i know don't want to bother you but it'll cost nothing but I know that if I look up, I'm locked in.

Yeah. Yeah. But he's, he's been, he's like gotten a little self-awareness where he's like, this is just a hello. Nothing else. Oh,

that's good. Yeah. It is nice. But I, again, I still think that if I look up and get in lock, I would be way more than a hello. He is the best though. I love him so much um all right we got anything else steven just had some weird ass shit on the

other what's the weirdest color you've ever pooped what oh fair question and what is your favorite type of hot dog bun yeah sometimes you get like the slices of bread that's like kind of bread on both sides but not like kind of the brown crusty, sometimes you get the slices of bread that's kind of bread on both sides, but not the brown, crusty part. Sometimes you get the sandwich rolls. I like how Titus goes. What's your favorite type of hot dog bun? What's your favorite type of hot dog bun?

That's insane. It's fucking insane. Is that not a question you usually ask? That's actually what we should do. Okay. Wait, would you rather be a mailman or a crossing guard or something else? I'll take something else.

Read the line above that. Powerball tonight is over $1 billion. What would you do if you win $1 billion? I would be a mailman. Why is mailman and crossing guard? Why is that the follow-up question to that? Those professions cross my mind. It's kind of part-time and then low commitment.

This is what you would do if you won $1 billion. Why do that at all? Who would do that? Those are options. Who would do the options right now? You don't a mailman? No, I'm just saying those are options. Who would do the options right now? You don't have to win a billion dollars. I got an idea. I got an idea.

Remember we were talking about the friends saying what they do for a living? Steven, I need you to send one of these questions privately to all of us tonight, and then we have to present a PowerPoint tomorrow. One of us would have a PowerPoint, what's our favorite hot dog bun? A whole PowerPoint. Yeah, a whole tomorrow. One of us would have a PowerPoint what's our favorite hot dog bun. A whole PowerPoint. Yeah, a whole PowerPoint. What's the weirdest color? We all don't know each other's questions.

I'll come up with some freshies. Yeah, come up with some freshies. I'm actually excited for this. Send us all one of them this afternoon so we have some time to do it. You got it. Because everyone's got to send their PowerPoints to TJ. And send one to TJ.

Send one to Zah. Send one to yourself. And, yeah, tomorrow we'll present Stephen Chay's weird world of questions. Love it. You got it. I want them weird, though. They can't be like, what is your goal or aspiration? I don't think you have to.

No, don't tell them. Don't give them any instructions. They have to be like the dumbest. He said Powerball tonight's over a billion dollars. What would you do if you won a billion? And the follow-up is, would you rather be a mailman or a crossing guard? Or other.

Or something else. It's other. It's other. Well, like it's open-ended. I'm not going to list every profession there. Crossing guard's the worst. They're out in the cold. Crossing guard's like so low stress.

There's billions. Every crossing guard in the world wants to be something else dude every day every day i pass low stress pass my son's crossing guard and he looks miserable he was standing outside in april in chicago being snowed on standing out in the weather having to deal with a bunch of cars fored up. For like an hour a day. For like an hour or twice, two shifts of an hour. But why do that at all? Well, you don't want to sit at home all day, get some funny jokes off to some little kids. I'm a billionaire.

Here's what I'm going to do at 7 a.m. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to go stay in the middle of traffic. Get a direct traffic. Dude, it's like a... What? Oh, my God. You're holding a stop sign.

Well, all right. Oh, you're holding a stop sign. You have a billion dollars of net worth, and this is what you're doing with your free time. I mean, not me directly. You have a billion fucking dollars, Steven. Yeah, I'd probably do something like that to stay up. Maybe work at a grocery store. What?

No, you wouldn't. No, you would not, dude. Part-time? Work at a grocery store? Part-time? I don't want to sit at home. Open a fucking putt-putt course. Buy a boat.

Hunt down diamonds for golf. Those sound like a lot of commitment and work. I'd rather just have a low stress day. You'd rather work at a grocery store. You know what's low stress? You could sit in a pool all day. Yeah, you could do nothing. Yeah, but you get bored of that. Don't you think the other grocery store employees would be like,

oh, this is like a cute game for him. Well, you don't be like, hey, I have a billion dollars. Have you ever worked at a grocery store employees would be like, oh, this is like a cute game for him. Well, you don't be like, hey, I have a billion dollars. Have you ever worked at a grocery store? You sound like when Gwyneth Paltrow was like, I'm going to try to live on $3 a week and just to cosplay what it's like to be a homeless person. Dan, how are you doing? Well, I guess let's ask you. What would you be?

I'm in Tidysville. Yeah, you are in Tidysville. I'm in Tidysville. Welcome. I've reached Tidysville. Welcome. This is fucking hell. Like, Steven, if I had a billion dollars, I could easily find enough things to not be bored.

To work at a grocery store. I have three kids. I just kind of want to be like an regular person, but have that security. I would go golf. Guess what I would do if I had a billion dollars? Anytime there was a big game, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to go to the big game. Go all over the place. I'm going to fly a private jet and go to a big game, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to go to the big game. Go all over the place. I'm going to fly a private jet and go to the big game.

You can't go. Well, they'd have to be on the weekends because the weekdays, you've got to do the crossing. Crossing. Billionaire crossing guard. Only the weekend games. You can't. Sorry, guys. Can't make it.

It's like when Forrest Gump got rich and he still cut the grass. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he just likes doing it. That's even different. You don't i mean you just like you know that's even different you don't think that you could like i understand the premise of like you'd want to do something so that you're not just sitting around all day right but i'm pretty sure with a billion dollars you could find some fun things to do and hobbies to have that wouldn't require working as a crossing yeah

you're choosing these menial terrible jobs you could start any business you want. You could start a jet ski rental in Cancun. Or you could volunteer instead of taking the job. Or you could, instead of starting a jet ski rental, you could just ride a jet ski. Yeah, exactly. But if you want to work, why the fuck would you? Yeah, which has like... How long can you ride a jet ski for and not get crazy bored?

Crossing guard! Crossing guard with no metrics metrics for like progress. Two hours a day. Okay, grocery store. You're stocking shelves. Grocery stores are sick. No, they're not. Yeah, they're very cool.

It's some of the worst jobs you can have. It's so 16-year-olds do it. Grocery stores are sick? Yeah, I love grocery stores. But Steven, all right, let's pretend tomorrow I had a billion dollars. I bought five Powerball tickets tonight. First of all, I'd probably keep doing this job. I would.

I would. But let's say I didn't have this job. You know what I would do if I had a billion dollars? I would wake up. I'd take my kids to school. I'd have a gym that I would go and just, like, take shots for the first, like, two hours of the morning. I'd go out to lunch. I'd take a nap. I'd pick up my kids from school. Day's done.

That's a great day. Eat some good food along the way. Yeah. Crossing guard. I'm just saying it's like it's something. It's like a very part time low commitment job. So you could fill that in. It could be crossing. It could be anything. You have to get up early. But you might as well just like volunteer and like help. Sure. Yeah. Also. You don You have to get up early. But you might as well just volunteer and help.

Sure, yeah. You don't have to get paid for it. Don't mailman. Mailman used to all go crazy and kill people. They hate their life. They hate their life. I actually go, oh, man. It's absurd.

You could be a mailman? No, I'm going to back up Steven for a second here. I did the other day see an Amazon driver, and I was like, that actually kind of seems cool. Because the truck was cool, and they had all the gadgets. Well, they are cool. Yeah. That part, I had a moment where I was like, ooh, this would be kind of cool. They're probably all billionaires, too.

They just do it for the love of the game. The Amazon drivers all drive with the door open. What? Is that around here, too? The door's always open well yeah because they're going in and out but right but i mean that feels a little bit does that feel dangerous oh that's where you would be like i don't want to come out they are daredevil all right let's save this energy for tomorrow steven let's go

yeah and if you if you don't like your question you can ask for a second question uh i'll allow that from steven and uh yeah i want everyone to come up with a powerpoint send me a question too i won't also send white socks dave a question oh yeah i have white socks dave do a powerpoint to explain it to him i would like to see him yeah brandon you should do it one anyway i'm gonna do one and you could just i I'll send it through. Is there like a max minimum amount of pages? No. Whatever the question takes you. Stephen Che's wide world of questions.

I'm also not going to be here. I can submit one. Thursday, Friday, I'm out. Okay, so we'll... What are you guys going to do Friday? Oh yeah, who's here? Not me. Me, Kate, We'll get some

people. Danny Conrad. Some Matt Rudy. Yeah, we can bring people in. We'll be alright. I'm also out. Oh, fuck. Do we want to pre-tape a show? No, we'll be fine. No, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. It'll be Yakagami.

All right, let's spin our wheel and then let's get to our questions. So, Steven, make sure you send them soon so that we all can. Yep. I don't even know how to make a PowerPoint. I'll have to do that tonight. How do you, do you have, is PowerPoint on everyone's computer? Use Google Slides. The Google Slides.

Google Slides. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right. It's Google Slides. So, I'm going to actually, like, because usually when we would do these things, I would have Quigs make it for me. I'm actually going to do this. I'm going to sit in my office tonight and do this.

What are we thinking, like five, ten slides? Whatever. I could see mine being one. Send one to Nick, too. It could just be the word no. He's in Italy. Yeah, but he doesn't have to do it, but just send him one.

Okay. Just so he feels like he's part of it. No context. Make sure White Sox Dave has one. Send one to Jerry as well. Mitch should have one, right? Ben Minch? Mitch?

I said Minch. He's leaving now. I clearly said Minch. Yeah, send one to Minch too. And explain to them what we're doing. And we'll just see what happens. You got a freshie? Thank you.

Are we sure it's back? Got it. Mincey! Oh! That was an awesome sound. That was cool. Don't wrap the balloon around the nozzle. Just blow into the open nozzle.

It'll suck in air twice as fast. Okay. It's a scientific thing. Okay. It's immediately. Oh, we got the bow. Wow. You're going to have to do a PowerPoint presentation.

I forgot you weren't going to be here. But you still got to make the PowerPoint. I don't think it's strong enough. Yeah. Shay's going to send you a question, and you have to answer it via PowerPoint. Steven Shay, who works here, is going to send you a question, and you have to answer it via PowerPoint. Yeah.

We all have to do it. Tomorrow's show. I don't know when it'll happen, but tomorrow's show. That doesn't make any sense. This balloon has whipped us. First of all, we should probably use that one. That one's been stretched out a little bit. Secondly, TJ, say again the science behind letting air out as we're putting it in i don't

know somebody in chat said it oh well that doesn't make hey ben you just chilling i don't know what's going on we don't know you go to your grilled cheese i'm donating right now, Mincy. Yeah, but he's got to donate more for that. Going? There's no way this blower is strong enough. I see. Mincy, get back here. Come here, Mincy.

Mincy. Mincy. Mincy. Mincy. Get off your shoes. Get off your shoes. Get off your shoes. Get off your shoes. Get off your shoes.

Get off your shoes. Get off your shoes. Can I stop? All right, come here. No, no, no. Get over here. Over this way. I can't what his foot is he didn't know what his foot was. KB, take my spot. Where was your foot, dude? What do you mean you don't know what I meant by say put your foot in? All right. All right. Put your other foot in. So both feet are going in. Nothing but ass crack from my point of view.

It's an Aztec printed belt. Fashionable belt. Now this is where it went wrong on KB. Okay. You're going to have to pull it at some point, aren't you? Oh, they're pulling. They're pulling.

Pocket! He's got too much in his pocket. Too much in your pocket? Why do you have so much in your pocket? He's got too much in his pocket. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.

He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.

He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. Hey, man, I got it. Throw me the wallet. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hey, Mance, I got it. Throw me the wallet. Throw me the wallet. AirPods.

He's got his. This man carries his whole life in his pockets. That man can't figure out what's happening. All right, three, two, one. And the pole. Three. We're getting there. All right, the arms are tough.

Take the watch off. Take the watch off. The watch is a bad idea. Go down, like, like. No. Wait, wait, wait. Stay right here.. Get down, get down, get down. No! No! Wait, all right, wait, stay right here, get the battery. All right, all right, wait. Paige, no, no, don't put your hands in yet. Take your hands out.

Oh no. Come on. It's gonna be tough. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, all right, can you dip down? Like, dip down, ooh. All right, this shoulder first. Elbow, elbow, elbow down? Like dip down. Alright, this shoulder first. Elbow, elbow.

Dip, dip. Mark Madden's side up picked up. Dip, you gotta go down. Like, bring it south and down. Yeah, but... Fuck. You can hear the elastic just screaming. Yeah, it's really, really getting in there.

Everyone watch your eyes. You okay? I'm okay. His arms don't... You gotta go one shoulder in and then one shoulder in. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh.

Is it on your arm? Yeah, yeah. Oh, the pipe itself is completely squeezed too. All right, I think we're not gonna get it. Blow them up here. Blow them up. See if you can blow them up here. Oh, the pipe itself is completely squeezed too. Alright, I think we're not gonna get it. Blow them up here. Blow them up. You seem to blow them up here.

I mean, just blow it up. Hey. I can see your brick watch. It looks like a penis. Stop. Stop. Stop. Look at his butt, Lee. His brick watch looks like a penis.

Look at his little butt crack. but hey You did pretty good, Mincy. I'm freaked out. Oh, well. All right. Well, it's going to be just something that we're going to do this for a while. Are you stuck like that? He asked you a question. Yeah, I don't know if I'm stuck or not. I think I'm supposed to keep it on.

No, you can take it off. You can take it off. Let's see. Are you okay? Can you get... The watch was... Oh! He looks like he has a...

He looks like he has a... He looks like... Turn it off.. He looks like a turnip. Wait, turnip. It doesn't look... Oh, it looks like a fat ass. It's kind of hot. It kind of turned me on. That's kind of hot.

Oh, that looks good, man. That's like Savoy Banks or something. Oh, my God. All right. It'll lose us for another day. Yeah. I'm getting concerned. This will be all worth it, though, because someday we're going to get it.

We have to. Yeah. We're not taking this seriously enough. I don't think so. Can't get more of it. We get him walking away? He doesn't know he's gonna get it off no you could just oh yeah cut it cut it oh that was incredible i think it's got to be kyle i could you have to be

his ass he has something like a natural anatomical padding it was so mincey that his pockets were so full maybe that's what it was we couldn't get like we got stuck three times just more shit was coming out of his pockets i'll tell you what this has now become a deal where like once we get it will be one of the greatest moments get him in yeah anyone we're gonna keep oh any if we get you in i would have gotten into that I think so too do you think we need

a professional or do we keep going just trial and error no I think we just keep like once a week we're like alright it's balloon time I know who we can get

someone in there who Wyatt wouldn't get Tommy Walker in that moment oh shit his birthday's coming up.

When is it? July 13th, so three or four months. We're due a Tommy appearance. Tommy in a balloon. You think he'd want to get in the balloon? I don't know if his mama would let me, but I just won't tell her. Yeah, until after he gets in the balloon. And then be like, he's in a balloon.

I don't know how he got there. I also want to get those big balls that you get in and then you run at each other. Oh, yeah. We should get those. We should get those. Yeah, we could play like that. We should do that one day.

We should get all of us. Kick the shit out of each other. That. Zorb ball, yeah. That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Steven, when is the goalball day we had to move it I got to talk to we got to pick a day in June

because the it conflicts with the or yeah the film festival got it okay all right so we'll do that eventually all right we'll see everyone tomorrow for Steven Chase wide world of questions quick quick plug yeah go for it me and sasser in Rhode Island this weekend comedy connection come out All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow for Stephen Chay's Wide World of Questions. Quick plug. Yeah, go for it.

Me and Sass are in Rhode Island this weekend. Comedy Connection, come out, please. What town? Providence. Providence. Providence, yes. Love it. Shout out Providence Twitter.

They are the greatest Twitter. The Friars. I mean, they're gaslighting Ed Cooley into resigning. It's one of the greatest stories ever. They just started saying he's going to resign and they started a hashtag the resignation and it was trending all day yesterday and i if there's any group of people out there that could do it i think providence twitter could just bully him and talk about it enough that he wakes up one day he's like am i resigning and then he resigns

he got a ton of money to go to georgetown so maybe but just resigns and becomes a crossing guard or something yeah people are talking about him resigning yeah so it's clearly something there uh okay all right we'll see everyone tomorrow It's the act. It's your straws, yeah. Silence, hey. For a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.

Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. Happy 30th birthday, Cody Olson. Happy birthday. See you tomorrow. Bye.