The Yak - We Found the Funniest Video on the Internet | The Yak 8-2-23

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

You eat, Francis?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. The Act. The Talk Shop. Presented by Rowback. Rowback. Summers in Swing. And you need to get some Rowback, whether you're getting a quarter zip,

if you're getting a polo, if you're getting a hoodie, if you're getting yourself a lid, some trousers. You want to you want to feel fresh you want to feel athletic gym shorts joggers everyday shorts all of this is available to you and should be taken advantage of with code yak at roback.com 20 off your first order by the end of this week r-h-o-b-a-c-k 20 off polos hoodie whatever you want whatever you can imagine. They've got it over at Roback. Use code YAK. We're joined by Francis today. Oh, no.

Oh, fuck. Here we go. You know what, Nick? Go fuck yourself. I didn't say anything yet. Go fuck yourself. I didn't take you 25 minutes to tell me to go fuck myself. Why don't you go fucking take your dick and wrap it around your taint

into your own butthole. Here comes the human thesaurus. And fuck yourself. Take the head and stick it up your own ass and then sit on it a bunch. I like this rivalry. Oh, fuck yours. Find a way.

Figure it out. Unscrew your own penis like the leg of a chair and jam it up your own ass yeah yeah what would it mean what like when you when someone says go fuck yourself and you take it literally how do you picture that what is the way to do that i always thought of it as jerking off isn't that kind of people say that but that's only a first base fucking of oneself you know it's first base is over the pants to yourself. KB's going to know. God, look at his arms.

And his chest. They're getting fucking huge. Insane. Look at those arms. It's suspicious. It's not Natty. I'll tell you that. Oh, come on.

I saw a video of him on Natty or not. I saw Jeff Nippers. Yeah. Yeah, he's the goal. He's the dream. You want to be on that? KB, they said coming soon. KB, no swag from Barstool Sports.

Natty or Not. And that's a not. That's a compliment if you make that. I said that's what I wanted. Unless you get out of this being not Natty. Francis, being a D1 athlete, were you ever tempted by steroids? No. Did anybody ever do it?

I don't think in my sport. There wouldn't have been a whole lot of benefit to it i don't think i think some of the football guys probably did i think there was this kids in my high school doing steroids for football yeah which is insane we had a we had a strength and conditioning coach who was actually i think he went he left the school and then he went he got hired to be the head strength and conditioning coach i think at the university of south carolina he was a very early um under armor guy like his roommates in college started under armor i shouldn't even be dropping that name but um anyway he was in like a bunch of ads for under armor what was his social security number yeah no but i i don't think i'm not saying i should be not dropping his name i'm saying because they're a competitor to our much superior rowback but uh he coach fits

and he was in an under armor ad and he uh famously had a saying the football team like someone asked him like hey coach fits what do you think about steroids? And he goes, you want to know what the side effects of steroids are? Bigger, stronger, faster. That's the side effects. That's the side effects. That is true. Those are the ones that no one talks about. Work. Yeah, no one talks about the good ones.

The desire to do more work. Yeah, I guess side effects can be good. You'll just push yourself hard as fuck. It's the, I guess the what it does to your face and head. Acne. Yeah. That too. And it's very unhealthy. Mm-hmm. Well,

why? It ages you so. I don't know. Maybe it isn't. It's gotta be bad for your heart. It's definitely bad for you. And people are dying. People are doing such ridiculous doses, though. That dude just died. What was his name? I saw that. I don't know his name.

He's big in the body. He's huge. We think of that. We think of a guy in the gym, these people who can't even put their hands to their sides, flush. That guy wasn't even like that. He was just super ripped. But I think if you are an NFL player and you cycle on and you cycle off.

Like a rough and rowdy fighter. And there's some kind of actual. Burt Kreischer. Are these guys able to cycle off psychologically? In the NFL? Don't they have to because of drug testing? Maybe in the NFL, but I think other people wouldn't. As soon as they get off, wouldn't they be craving more?

Probably. You start drinking. Did you see that Gordon, he's a grappler, his before and after, and then post-after? I don't think I saw that grappler's before and after picture, no. Gordon Ryan? Is it good? Gordon Ramsey?

It's insane what happened to him when he got off of it. He got nasty or a titty or what? His balls? A lot different. Tell us. There should be a warning. He shrunk. He shriveled.

Really? The pace of those people that big dudes lose weight like that, like strong guys. Like dude Taylor. I think he still looks pretty good. Right. His second one, he doesn't look bad but look at the look at the difference yeah but like look at the face he's doing you put on fucking glasses keep this up right i have a bone to pick with these types of pictures and here's the deal in that picture on the left you know that guy did a

fucking ridiculous workout right before that picture was taken, probably hasn't had water all day, and is flexing. Whenever they do the next picture, he's doing this to accentuate the difference. And obviously there's a difference. But that picture on the right, he's probably eating some fucking pizzas. He didn't shave his stomach. He didn't shave his chest. He didn't work out.

And he's got glasses on to look like a fucking undercover version of himself. Maybe. Well, he posted this and then everyone started making fun of it. Then he got pissed and redid Stereo. If he were flexing in that picture on the right, if he were flexing and he had shaved himself and he'd worked out, I wonder how different he'd actually look. Do you know what I mean? I think that's very fair. I could post today a before and after photo of my transformation.

In one picture, I'm flexing. And in the other, I've just eaten a ton of pie. And I'm not flexing. And I'm a sad boy. Yeah, the face he's made. And everyone's gonna be like, holy shit, man,

you really lost a ton of weight. You look so much better. It's like the same fucking day. You should do it. I bet you I could do that. And also this guy, he doesn't physique doesn't, I guess it doesn't matter as much because he's one of the best ever at his

sport or the best ever. Yeah. You're allowed to do steroids. Who was it? Whoever he does. Who was that guy? That's the jujitsu guy. Gordon Ryan.

What NFL players have gotten popped for steroids recently? I know Lane Johnson got popped a couple years ago, and he's still the best tackle in football. Yeah, John John Hopkins. Who was the dude in the NFL that didn't wear sleeves one day and they brought him in for a random drug test? I think that happens a lot. I think like whenever he's had a has like a good workout they're just like got the drug test get a tweet about it that was very funny yeah i think his arms are fucking

bit the size of his legs was it christian mccaffrey no i think it'd be fun to try steroids and see what at this point in my life what it it would do for me. Just all of a sudden I'm dominating the pickleball court. I mean, what is it? Yeah, this guy. Miles Garrett. Yeah, that's insane. Arms are fucking massive, dude. I could see

him having done steroids, too. Have you seen the picture of him at the ESPYs? And he's wearing the full suit, but you can see his biceps through the suit. I think that's like a special type of suit that those guys wear. That's not a normal like you go, you went to fucking men's warehouse and bought a suit. Yeah, those things are like painted on. Yeah, they're thin as fuck.

The suits that The Rock wears, those aren't just real. They're just not a normal suit. I always said that John Cena. That's not like a normal fabric suit That's a skim By Kim Kardashian Yeah The suit is made of latex

Some of these dudes do have like 30 inch arms Yeah Yeah Like where do you put a fucking 30 inch arm? I don't know That guy would have to wear Clemmer's pants on his like sleeves Yeah I don't think. That guy would have to wear Clemmer's pants on his, like, sleeves. Yeah. I don't think it would even fit.

No. I think those guys' arms are bigger than most of our legs. Yeah. Easily. I wore pants today because I was tired of my legs being on camera like that. Did you see how leggy our show was yesterday? That's what I mean. I got a little bit too... It hikes up with the same...

It hikes. It's the way that these chairs are. We need Eames. Did you guys see that dude speed run his N-word apology? Yeah. Oh. How fast did he do it? Instantaneous.

10 seconds. After he said it? Yeah. He wrapped it like mints. Wait, then Fousey. Almost like it was scripted. And then it was a knee-jerk reaction. He started beating up his bed.

And then he said a whole apology. It was a knee-jerk reaction. He started beating up his bed, and then he said a whole apology. It was really funny. In what context did he say the N-word? I thought that he just came back. He did. I thought that he was like... He's doing a marathon stream right now, like a sub-a-thon. But he ran out of money.

He had made like $30 million, ran out of money, came back, called his dad. His dad said he loved him for the first time, and then he immediately said the N-word. He's hit the highest of highs and lowest of lows on the content grind. He's been around for fucking 20 years now. He's got a vortex. He's also got fat and then ripped every single month. He's an example of a steroid user. Yeah.

He was in that video where the guy was getting tapped in the chest and then he's just jacked getting tapped in the chest. The best Fousey that I feel like a lot of people it was a while ago but it was when he was clearly having a manic episode and he was like I'm going to be J. Cole's performing at the Staples Center

next week I will be on stage performing with him. He had no plan but he was like convinced that he was going to be like manifesting like a duet with j cole he was like it was like and he tj he hosted like a whole festival didn't he yeah but i don't think that many people actually showed up that might be oh it was like a massive it was like fire fest yeah as soon as you start doing subathons it's over what is a is a subathon? A subathon is you start streaming, and then every subscription you get or whatever the payment is, you stream for longer. So if you said, I'm going to stream for eight hours, but for every sub I get, I'm going to add five minutes.

Man, I feel like we've done that. And you could go up to a month. People have gone, how long was he live for? I think he's been live for a couple weeks Come on man Come on It's very very Cheat code-y

To break algorithms You grow crazy if it catches on Alright let's quit beating around the bush here And let's pull up that video of the cop I got a cop going down the slide Let's spit him out. Let's get this on the screen ASAP. Oh my god.

What was in that slide? This is one of the funniest videos to come out on the internet in a while. Oh my God. How is that? What is that made of? Dude, the noise leading up to him coming out is insane. That's a wormhole.

It's insane. Sounds like an old air conditioner. I don't know. How does that happen? How did he get that much velocity? I don't know. Why is he upside down? I don't know.

I don't know. It looks like when run it again he died in there was he pulling his gun out as he went down i think he was trying to defend himself i think he was yeah what he opened fire on that slide it would have been unreal would have been the funniest video of all time That's like the Joker getting Did nobody else test that? I don't know

Did he do the ribbon cutting at the top? Must have been the case I saw someone else posted a video going down the slide And they came out just going slow as hell Even if it had like That's in Boston How little is that man? We gotta go to that slide

That man, I think he's pretty little You gotta be, right? That's in Boston. How little is that man? We got to go to that slide. That man, I think he's pretty little. You got to be, right? That's a little bit. Because how did he not fall out of the side? I don't know how he was going. Even if it was the slickest slide in the world, he had to get a running start. But the angles don't make sense. He shot out like that.

Yeah, I think it's a magazine. We need someone in Boston to go to that slide right now. All in. Right this second. I'm sure there's a hundred people there right now. So weird fact is that this is Ryan Whitney's video, but he had to take it down. He was asked by several people. He tweeted about it yesterday.

Ryan Whitney saw that tweet. So now that's what it was. Did he film that? I don't know. It's clearly a girl filming it. Is that about that? Damn, that does look like an oil pipeline. It is a long slide.

Big slide. Steep, too. Oh, whoa. But he was getting, I mean, there must have been someone else in the slide that flipped him over and started fucking with him. That's some new shit out of MIT. They were making that for years in a laboratory. That's teleportation Can we watch it one more time? Yeah, I

Just got to hear the noise when I like cartoon sound effect noise when he's in the slide is insane Like shoes in the dryer Here ten clang where he comes down. It's ten distinct clients Oh my god. Sounds like shoes in the dryer. You hear ten clangs before he comes down. It's ten distinct clangs. I think he says something when he gets up, too. He's like, what the fuck? He looks up at the slide like he's mad at it.

I would be pissed. I would have been in severe pain. Oh, yeah, dude. It was like a cocktail shaker. Yeah, dude. He just got fucking scrambled. Ran through. Oh, the fucking scrambled, ran through. The next person he pulls over.

Oh, yeah. He probably immediately arrested someone. I'm going to get an arrest off after that. When was the last time you guys went on a water slide? I'm not talking at a water park, but just one that was somewhat available somewhere. It's been a while. I don't know. Last time I was in water. Yeah.

I go in water all the time, but not a water slide. I just don't have access to slides like that. I was on one not too long ago, and a kid, a 10-year-old kid went off before me, and he was excited. You could tell he'd done it a lot of times. And then I went off after him, and there was no lifeguard telling us, now wait, now go. And so I tried to catch the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I went on my elbows yeah that was the best elbows and heels were the only parts of my body touching the slide

that's insane tj i got hurt a lot still beat me but um i wanted to hit him i wanted to hurt him yeah j twitter account eric eri oh no-O. Yeah, I did the perspective. Oh. This is... All right. It's that last turn. It's that last turn. Yeah, right. That was a fucking simple right-hand turn.

Yeah. That was a simple slide. Go bigger. Go bigger on that one. I think we can watch that again. That'll explain it. Yeah. I think he went in head first.

He slid in first. It was a mistake. He must have gone in head first. The slide in was a mistake. He must have gone in head first. No, because he came out feet first. He came out feet first? His last turn kicks you way left. Yeah, yeah. That's what kicked him over.

That guy, he stopped right at the bottom of the slide. The cop was like 15 feet away before he touched the ground. Well, that guy was also in shorts. Yeah. Maybe some skin to in shorts. Yeah. Maybe some skin to slide contacts. Yeah. He must have gotten a head start.

The cop was in a Sean John velour. No idea how he obtained those. He was wearing linoleum. That kid looks bored. I know. What happened to that cop? He is in hell right now. You know, he has to bludgeon someone. Was it like this?

It had to have been what the uniform was made of? You think that he got stuck in there and they sent someone else down to jar him out? Maybe, yeah. Another cop went down, knocked into him, and knocked him out the bottom? The only thing I can think of is there was like 15 dudes. He comes off the side. What if he fell out? I'm saying, under that yellow fucking bib,

he's wearing one of those Real Housewives of Memphis satin pregnancy suits. The juicy suit. Yeah. That says, like, booty on the bottom. Yeah. Have you guys seen the video of the woman on the water slide, and she just tries to, like, dive?

She just, like, pinches her nose. She's, like, on a cruise ship or something, and just, like just dives off. She dives like she's going to go into water and she just smacks into the water slide. Oh no. That sounds good. It's extremely funny.

Extremely embarrassing for that lady. Second angle. There's a second angle out there somewhere. That's a pr angle out there somewhere yeah why did his feet go over like that I don't know

he straddled it on the way down what the fuck it's genuinely it's fascinating I know it starts funny and then I start to be

like every watch infused that's uh is that Boston PD. We got an ID on him. Now we got to get him on the show, though. Yeah. That'll be huge. Boston PD. Did you guys watch the marathon bombing documentary? No. Oh, is it good? It's really good. It's really good. Anything new? I feel like I've seen so many shows and movies about it already. I think just one thing that was interesting was hearing how these Boston police guys,

first of all, they have the thickest Boston accents you've ever heard. And to hear them talking about how they're throwing bombs out of the car in Somerville was nuts. Throwing bombs out of the car? Yeah. That standoff that they had in Somerville? Yeah. Before the boat.

Before one of them escapes. And then he gets back in the car and runs. These guys just had bombs like that? Like it was a fucking video game? They had another bomb. Pressure cooker? Yeah, exactly. And they threw it.

It was a bomb off? Not the police. The police didn't have bombs. In the street, they had one more bomb that they hadn't detonated. And they threw that at the cops. And it made a massive explosion. Where was the boat? It was in Watertown, right?

Yeah, Watertown. Not somewhere else. I had to get a, when I was, I forget how old I was. I was probably in sixth grade when that happened. But I had to get an ADD test. And it was in Watertown, the place that I went to. On that day? No, but me and my mom drove by the house, and you could see the bullet holes in the fence.

Yeah, and you brought that kid some water? the fence. Yeah, it was cool. Brought that kid some water. Yeah. Slipped it in. Help him. I need to help this boy. It was like a couple months after it happened. Gave him your Chewy bar and your goldfish that you brought for the test. Got him to sign that copy of Rolling Stone that he was on the cover of.

That was a crazy move. They did put him there. Is he alive in jail now? Yeah. He got put him there. Is he alive in jail now? Yeah. He got the death penalty. Is he alive? He got the death penalty for years. He was in critical condition for a very long time.

He was breathing through tubes and shit. Maybe he is dead. Boston Loki loves that tragedy. Yeah, I don't know. You know my line? That Ortiz speech that was awesome these are fucking city man

yeah yeah that was awesome okay I got one more documentary that's really amazing I wrote a blog about it yesterday it's called The Deepest Breath

hmm have you seen this heard of it I feel like what's it about it's about free diving ah yeah that's horrifying to me I challenge you to watch the first two minutes of this documentary

and not find yourself involuntarily gasping. Yeah, no, I've seen clips. I hate diving. Gasping. I'd watch that. Is that like cave diving? Oh, they're just going way the fuck down on one breath. No, Francis wrote a blog about it yesterday.

I watched it last night. It's fascinating. It's a sport I never knew existed. I don't know how they grow the sport because they don't really have live cameras and stuff underneath. They obviously do this for Netflix. But do you want to explain how they kind of go down? I thought you did that. Yeah, so there's, I guess, a rope, but it must be a stiff rope.

It may be a pole of some kind. And they are up there on the surface. And they have a little harness or like a clip. So they stay close to the rope. Because once they get to a certain, not even that deep, I mean, the water gets darker and darker. Heavier. Darker. And it's really dark.

And after, I guess, 15 meters or 20 meters or something like that, the pressure on their lungs compresses the air in their lungs and their lungs to such a small place that it actually, you don't have to swim down anymore. You just enter this thing called free fall. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Hell no.

Oh, Jesus Christ. They're just falling to the bottom. Wait, so what's the sport aspect? Are they racing? It's how deep can you go on a single breath. Oh, just, that's it? Like, are people dying? In a lake or an ocean or what?

People die all the time. Yeah, I'd assume. Like, on the way back, yeah. It's 50% of the time. It's the most deadly extreme sport. So people are dying. You're probably like, I'm just going to keep going down. But it's all on the boat.

They have a thing at the bottom where you collect. It's like a plate where you've reached the depth that you wanted to get to. You're going for a world record or whatever. And that's the depth that you wanted to get to yeah you're going for a world record or whatever and that's the depth that you need to get to and you collect a tag off of that so you stop yourself you grab the tag and then you head for the surface and that's where the challenge begins getting down is not hard it's easy they're on one breath they're not even kicking so they're not expending any oxygen there's no lactic acid buildup in the body there's no co2 buildup all the way down no problem it's getting up to the surface and it's not even really the way up it's the last

20 feet yeah where you either get there or you fucking black out. Yeah. And then they, if you black out, you have these safety divers that have swum down to collect you basically and be with you for that last 20 meters. And, um,

they have to close your airways, basically choke you so that you don't swallow water while you're unconscious. They bring you to the surface and they revive you with CPR. They say that you have between one and two minutes. You're fine. Your brain basically just shuts off all your systems. You have one to two minutes to be revived and breathing before brain damage occurs.

But one of these people blacked out three or four days in a row. Four times in a row. Four dives in a row. Society needs to treat these people likeed out three or four days in a row. Four times in a row. Four dives in a row. Society needs to treat these people like junkies and addicts. Yeah. They can't prevent themselves from doing it. Yeah, they're just completely... They've lost the plot a bit, it seems.

Yeah, because they're losing brain cells every time they do it. They're choking themselves to a point of... I bet they suck to go swimming with, just like in a pool. By the way, that's another part of the sport. That's another part of the sport, which I didn't know, which is a lot of them as kids

start the sport by doing as many meters in a pool as they possibly can. Yeah. And setting world records and stuff. And that's like, there's national teams for that. Who knew? I did not know. And in's like there's national teams for that. Who knew?

I did not know. And what body of water do they do it in? So there are a couple of premier dive sites, the Blue Hole, Blue something, and they're just massive, massive deep holes. I mean, they're going to, the women's world record is like 100-something meters, which is 340 feet-ish.

People watch it, go to watch it? Yeah. So, round trip? One's in the Bahamas, I think, and one's in... Yeah, they go to a depth of 330 feet. And then they start to go all the way back up. And then they have to go back up. And it's, again, it's the return journey that

fucks them up. TJ, can we watch that person falling off the slide? Oh, this. What the? She's having a good time. There's not a chance in hell. I could have been way worse.

Way worse. Lucky she landed on the slide. Not the fucking concrete edge. What was she going for? Was she drunk? What do you think? Do you guys like watching videos of people hurting themselves? No.

Not really. Depends on what kind of hurt. Yeah, like not really like hospital hurt. Nutshots. Do you remember that show, I think it was called Wasted or Crashed or something? There was like a thousand of them. Scars? Scarred.

Scars or Scarred on MTV. That had, who was that? Rob Dyrdek. Oh, no, no. It was the lead singer of Papa Roach. Jacoby Shaddix. Papa? Jacoby Shaddek. No, no, no. It was the lead singer of Papa Roach. Jacoby Shaddix. Papa? Jacoby Shaddix.

That's who it was. Fuck the universe. What a pool. I thought it was Papa Roach was the lead singer. Oh, no, no. Interesting. Common misconception. Yeah, that was a while where people were just getting demolished, like going over the handles of their bike.

But I don't mind it unless you see bone going, like compound fractures, I think. Compound fractures are rough. Did you guys see this clip going viral last night, the soccer injury? One of the most gruesome injuries of all time. No. No bones or anything popping out and no blood. I only saw it because Bussin posted it. Which, why?

I mean... Are you talking about it? Yeah, but I'm saying I like those guys. I don't follow them. Will Compton actually took that video and they had it taken down. That's true. I think that they're going for volume and virality oh yeah big time well why

would ryan whitney have to take it down i don't think ryan whitney took that video he might have like but even if he did someone said it to why would he have to take it down maybe the cop cop is embarrassed probably way funnier he definitely was Yeah, but to that degree where he's like once erased from memory and history. He made him take it down at gunpoint. Huh. I was begged to take it down. It was his family. What does Doug have to say about that?

Well. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yep. Yeah, that's a fucking fact. That's a fucking fact. Dude, so, Francis, how was the golf outing?

It was really cool. You were going to fight a fucking guy that was like... Yeah, explain this. Norman Jong. Norman Jong. Jong. It's X-I-O-N-G, but you pronounce it Jong or Jong? Jong. They just wrote pronounced J-O-N-G, but you pronounce it Jong or Jong? Jong.

They just wrote pronounced J-O-N-G, and I was like, I don't really think that clears it up all that much. But yeah, he's an American guy. He's built like a Mack truck, and he played his golf at Oregon. He's an Oregon duck, and apparently his coach at Oregon heard me not liking him and is now sending me a whole bunch of Oregon Ducks golf gear, which is a pretty cool stuff. I'm pretty excited about that. Because you talk shit on him, he's going to send you free stuff?

I guess so, to try to change my mind. What did you say about him? You talk shit about the coach or did you talk shit about that guy? Him. Him? Every day we were assigned a group to follow, at least myself and Frankie and Trent and then Dan Rappaport. We were out in the field on the course with a certain group and then obviously Kirkirk and riggs and uh nick marsh nick marsh were in the booth and before we went out with our group we were given a briefing of um what our

group was like and the players were like and on my briefing it said this guy norman jong you're not allowed to talk to him you just can't don't ever you know we were told if certain people were excited to talk to us and goof around with us during the tournament or whatever, and it was very explicitly stated jong and um not to break the fourth wall but i'm not allowed to talk to norman jong i'm expressly prohibited from speaking to him and then i and they were like why and i was like i don't know i think he might be an asshole i started leaning into this thing of like me versus i was like who does norman jong think he is like does he think he's better than me you know who do you think i was like do you think you're abby atwood from the seventh grade you're not gonna talk to me get the fuck out of here um it is a weird request now that i think about it if i was like at a high pressure competition maybe i wouldn't want you

talking to me at all there's a better way to convey it then also if you want to be a pro golfer you have to get used to that yeah and I think also the whole point of hiring Barstool to cover this event was to move away from the sort of eggshell walking quiet sort of

fucking distance respect that is typically used for golf broadcasts and everybody else was excited and by the way this was all a joke like i was trying to be funny by pretending to be mad at norman jong but i went up and asked him after a bit i was like hey norman off camera you know any chance that you might be willing to talk and he goes i'm pretty shy oh and then i felt bad oh that was the case well hold on i then said on the broadcast this is what he just told me and that worked it made me look like the asshole and it it absolved him of not talking but then i later found out that that was just a lie

he lied he's not shy at all i heard that he's not shy class clown what's his deal wait how did you like catch him doing something everybody's not shy he's the most garrulous individual in the mess hall he was holding court yeah he's telling. He's up on the cafeteria table. You got a peephole video of him doing the gritty in front of his... Yeah.

Chugging milks. Yeah. You know, having a good time. Oh, he's Guamese. Oh, yeah. They're the most garish people out of all of

Eastern Asia. So what the fuck happened? You eventually talked to him. Not on camera. I thought that he... Didn't he at least crack a smile or something? Well then the next day All those All the beef

Was featured On Twitter My beef and my My coverage of Norman Right And that became a bit of a storyline He saw it And he came up to me the next day

And he goes You're that guy You're that guy who was making me look bad yesterday and i started getting ready to fight and uh physically well yeah i mean you don't know golfers you don't know what's gonna happen you don't know what martial arts he knows he's a big guy. So I said, yeah. And he goes, that's great. It's funny for you to make me the bad guy. And I was like, oh, wow. Peckish.

This guy gets it a little bit. And he thanked me for it. We shook hands. So it was all good. That is funny. So do you have a new friend? I don't know know there were other guys out there that i thought were really cool i didn't get to know norman that well um we'll see how good

the oregon ducks gear is as far as how that we're hoping for like a green like green with the yellow o or what i want some a little bit jordan golf shoes that are of the Oregon duck ilk. That's fire. I mean, drippy for sure, but is that shit you could wear? I'll wear anything, man. No, you won't. You would not wear Oregon gear to this office. Really?

You wouldn't wear a dry fit tee to this office? Oh, yeah, I would, dude. I've never seen it. I'm thinking a nice windbreaker. That would be nice. Yeah. That would be nice. Love me a good windbreaker.

Who's your favorite Oregon duck? Mighty. Pre Fontaine. Garrett Blunt. I think Mark is up there, right? I don't know. Jake Herbert. Jake Herbert.

Justin. Stephen Che.. Jake Herbert. Justin. Stephen Che. Jeff Schwartz. Friend. Peloton rider. Who had the best career ever? Who's the most noteworthy? I think Steve Prefontaine.

Prefontaine, if he went, yeah. He did. Prefontaine went there, but I mean Phil Knight. TJ Ward, Super Bowl champion no no Pro Bowler good player

he's not the most famous best career at Oregon oh best career at Oregon those are some sick Nikes you got on there dude

thanks Francis imagine those with a big old Oregon duck logo on them Phil Knight you rip them right off my feet Ken Kesey

give me those. Ty Burrell? Bill Bowerman was the basketball squad. Any good hoopsters? Trista Crick was an Oregon Duck. Dylan Brooks? Bull Bull?

Who else? You got me to Vegas. Speaking of Bull, can we see Rico yeah I haven't seen this video but I've heard a lot of chatter he's had a bad back

and then he went bowling heard plenty of chatter I think I might have fixed his back oh he said he was fine today that's all I'm limping

yeah but you gotta do around the workplace you gotta do that to make sure that you know the lawsuit comes up. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

Is that on fast? Did he lose a clip, too? Dude, it is fast. How did he go so fast? The magazine on the left. Damn, a magazine flies out. How far up is the runway? Why was he fucking sprinting?

How did I miss that? He came in so hard. What was he going for? He said that he was like, I'm not good at bowling but what if they could measure how fast we're throwing? And then they did have that capability. Apparently

most bowling alleys have a miles per hour system. Speedometer. Yeah, and so he was like, I'm just going to throw it as hard as I can and try and break the record. And I just ran on to the oil sling. Has he hit his head? I think his head landed in the gutter. Shockingly similar to the police

feed. Someone's making the same sounds as he runs up. Clip falls out. Look how far into the lane he is. When did he try to start stomping? Right Not till far I don't think he ever tried

I think he thought he was gonna Cruise with the ball Yeah Stay attached until he got a strike Yeah Hop out the ball return I think that's a piece I think that's a gun

Yeah It's a whole gun I don't think it's just a clip It's the whole It's the whole fucking Is it a gun or a palm pilot? Look at it skewed away, though. Did he have it in his...

It's sunglasses, obviously. His gun behind his ear. Like a pencil. Whose giggle is that? Mush. Damn. That made me want to go bowling. I love bowling. I'm like Jake Marsh. me want to go bowling. I love bowling.

I'm like Jake Marsh. I want to play some games. What's your relationship with Kirk like? It's good. Yeah? Bad. It's bad. Yeah, it's horrible.

Is it actually? It's not as bad as it could be, though. I'll tell you what. Is it actually? I think. Yeah. I think. Come on. You can't act like it's not because he wouldn't do the same.

I will say I will do anything to not have Kirk dislike me and have his fans come after me. I'll suck his dick. And I mean that. You should start a trivia show. I'll give him money. I'll give him... Paying off Kirk is so funny.

Things I have. A monthly payment. You know, I could make your life really hard for you. Yeah, I'll suck his dick. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sir. I will do it. I have no problem with that. I'll do anything.

I kind of feel the same way. I love him. Love that guy. Him going at Jake was funny, and then Jake being like, Jake coming back at him was funny, too. What did Jake say? What did he say? He was like, stay in your lane. Run that clip.

You got to run that. You did it? No. Oh, man. This was a banger. There was like six volleys back and forth between the two of them. Each one of them had a little stay in your lane. I like Jake Marsh a lot.

I got to know these guys. You know, you do your broadcast, and then you all go out to dinner, and people let their guard down. Who picks up Bill for dinner? Who has the company card? Nobody did, so we just rotated it so we could all, you know. Expense it? Is Riggsie there?

Yeah. Riggsie's not picking up? He's not picking up, yeah. Does he have a? I guess we didn't really go out to do anything. He probably goes out with the players. I think he's got a lot going on. Yeah, you know, I don't know how.

Should be maybe a little more focused on some other aspects. We'll get into that later, yeah. Okay, Jake, I'll just shut up. Riggs, go ahead. I wouldn't hate getting into that. No, Jake said the goddamn rules are into it. No, no, no, we're not talking about it. We're banning discussion from the broadcast.

We're not banning it. Yeah, not allowed. We should just tease it the whole show. No, Jake has things to worry about. I don't want to interrupt his order. Let's just tease it the whole show. No, Jake has things to order. I don't want to interrupt his order. Let's just tease it the whole show. Highlighted. That's the one where Jake has patience.

There's one where Jake completely runs out of patience, and he tells him to stay in his lane. He calls him a loser. He calls him a loser. Yeah, a loser. Yeah, he said the L word. Here we go. I don't think it's this one either.

His best finish on the tour this season. Yeah, Francis, we need to interrupt your comedy so Jake can give us a reason why he did six months ago. Here we go. I don't think it's this one either. His best finish on the tour this season, T2 and Knoxville. We need to interrupt your comedy so Jake can give us a read of what he did six months ago. But since then, T2 on May 28th, he's missed five straight cuts until this week. So a huge bounce pass for Norman Zhang. Kirk, as he let me finish the context, don't cut me off. It's riveting. Like an a-hole.

It wasn't even this one. There was even another one we were not we were not told not to swear and in the first day Frankie said the F word and some other people swore I think Jake doesn't swear after we were told

ah yeah pretty good but you know a couple of swears we were like well why didn well, why didn't you? Why didn't you guys tell us not to swear? How can you be funny without saying fuck or titty? Yeah. And I say that, but then we swore every single day after that. And you know what F word Frankie was using?

Yeah. Good one. But there's an even better one where they really go back and forth at one another. This one. But there's an even better one where they really go back and forth at one another. for that one, Jake, but whatever. We've got time to kill. We were talking about caddy with the other player setting up who they're with. Why don't you stay in your lane, Kirk? Shut up. Why don't you keep acting like the college basketball game, yelling and screaming? It's a goddamn golf tournament, you amateur idiot.

We've been with each other for about seven days. You are such a loser. Don't worry. You'll be sending us stats next year. Oh, man, this is great. We've got a couple minutes to kill here. It's always going to come to this. This is fantastic. It's amazing. It's genuinely good.

I would fucking... Imagine watching the PGA and that's how they're talking to each other. You just got to put guys in the booth that fucking hate each other. A genius idea.

That was amazing. That's so good. I would have watched... If it was like that the entire time, I would have watched the entire thing. Was that in your ear?

Yes. What were you doing like what were you laughing i'm out of breath oh yeah that was incredible i'm out of breath on the course i'm laughing so fucking hard and and by the way kirk and this is real was so funny like just his little ways someone would say, and you're not even thinking anything of it, and he goes, what are we doing here? And he's like, what are we doing? What is this?

It's like the go-to barstool line. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, I don't know. Because then it makes you look at what was said in a different light, and you're like, yeah, that was kind of. It's like the Cardi B of talk radio. Yeah.

He is? She's been lighting people up with mics. Yeah. I saw that. She's been throwing mics at people. She is? She's been lighting people up with mics. Yeah. I saw that. She's been throwing mics at people. She cocked it back. And then Lizzo kind of took all the heat away from that. Yeah.

Oh, my God. What happened with the Lizzo thing? I missed that one. She's forcing girls to eat bananas out of each other's vaginas? No, no. They were in Amsterdam. They went to a strip club. Oh.

The strippers put a banana in their pussy, and she made this one girl, who I guess is a virgin and pretty religious. One of her background dancers eat the banana. I don't think there's anything in the Bible against doing that, though. Oh, there is. Against eating a banana? And she was also weight shaming

one of her background dancers for gaining weight. And I said unto thee, you shall not eat the banana. But it just shows that there's... Forbidden fruit. Yeah. Makes place inside the vagina. But it shows that being a powerful person is what corrupts someone, not being a rich white male. It's like you give that shit to anybody.

Yeah, people are really mad. That's the first thing I'd do if I had a billion dollars. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My background answer is you banana pussy. Yeah, pussy banana. I see you fat fucking Lizzo. I see what you're trying to fucking do.

You stole Cupcake's swag, bitch. Talking about I'm a female rapper. You ain't no female rapper, bitch. What is this? Let Craig Kalman gas you, Lizzo. you don't get enough fucking sex appeal to be no fucking female rapper what is this azalea banks oh she's a top five hater she's the biggest hater she said this before i think she's number one hater she is you ever see when dc young fly made her cry on wildin' Out?

Azealia Banks? Yeah. It's so gratifying. Or even him telling the story on 85 South is so gratifying. Because he just called her like, ugly little girl. And she cried. She literally wept. That's the last person you want to go up roasting against.

DC Young Fly. Oh, I was going to say Azalea. No, DC Young. I think he just ran a lap around the corner ugly and did a lap. He's from where? Adamsville. Oh, yeah. That's obviously he's the GOAT.

I thought I was going to say, did you see Cat Williams? Did you ever see that clip of him with that radio host, the woman? Oh. And he's burying her. No. I would say he's the number one person I would not want to be in a war report. He's so funny. Cat Williams is incredible. You'd suck his dick to stay on his good side?

Well, what's the dick suck list? Yeah, it's a good question. I mean, for me, it's a question of... Kirk's definitely top dog. Yeah, yeah, it's a good question. I mean, for me, it's a question of... Kirk's definitely top dog. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Do you think it's like he's more like a father figure? Is that why? Um, no.

I've never really been into my dad's. But it's, yeah, that. It's the potential damage to my life and career from being on the wrong side of someone, if I could write that by sucking their dick one time, I have no problem. Who is the original case study for this? Who are you on the wrong side of? How'd you get rehired, man?

I don't know. I don't know. Me. Oh. Sucked know. Me. Oh. Yeah, what? Sucked off sass. Sucked sass as cock. Sucked sass.

He's the gatekeeper. Sucked Roan. I mean, I've been on the wrong side of Dave a couple times. Suck sass for success. Those are just the typical stoolies, though, that are like, fuck you, you don't deserve this job, it should be me in that seat instead of you. Like, that's not that, they're not that bad, the Dave stoolies. No, Dave has never expected me to suck his dick.

No. Who is it then? No, it was Kirk. Oh, it was Kirk originally. Oh, okay, I got you, I got you. Interesting. What a power for one man to wield. By the way,

what's so wrong with fixing your life by sucking a dick that bad are you really who's so proud i think that was a dave argument early on when he was like if these directors want to give girls jobs for sucking their dicks like what's wrong with that bro if you were like hey um... Definitely a controversial one. It was controversial. He was like, no, seriously, what is... What's the rub there? Yeah. People definitely wouldn't be going public with that take. If it was down to me and Chris Evans to play Captain America in all the fucking Marvel movies,

all the Avengers movies, and they said, Chris unfortunately said that he's not willing to suck the director's dick. Francis, balls in your court. I would not have any issue. Yeah, a little cum on your throat? Yeah. The only gay part about sucking dick

is the very last part. Well, I think the gay part of it is not getting anything from it. Yeah. I would agree with that. If you're just doing it to do it. Yeah, if you're just sucking dick to suck dick. A fucking. Yeah, yeah.

You might as well get a reward. Yeah. A little prize. Yeah, a little prize. If you're just doing it to make a guy feel good that's or because it makes you feel good if you're if you're moaning while sucking yeah do guys ever come when they suck dick 100 well i don't know from like it from suck are they hard as hell when they sucked i bet i'm probably jerking off you can tell kind of be able to tell that's a lot of multitasking

though and i bet when you're receiving it, you would know that he was more focused on himself. Right. Because his stroke and his would all get tangled. Or if you get mad and you finish first, you feel it on your knee. That would be so embarrassing to finish first and suck a dick.

He was like... You're sucking dick. He was like, You're sucking dick? You premature ejaculate as soon as your lips touch his dick? That would be so embarrassing. Especially as a new man to the game. Young fledgling on Grindr. Try it out.

You're like, I don't know if I'm gay. You cum super hard right away. Well, I guess that settles it. Oh my god. I think if that happened to me, I wouldn't even want the guy to finish on me.

I wouldn't want to finish the job. Yeah, it would be a showstopper. Like, you are very selfish, and that's the wrong order. What the fuck, dude? The guy stops sucking because he's like, well, I'm done. I hope you came too. It should be. It should be safe time.

That was great. Finishing sucking someone's dick and coming up and being like, that was fucking great. That's so much fun. Is there anyone that's like that? Do people enjoy sucking dick? I'm sure. I mean, Stephen Che is like...

Maybe not to the point of orgasm, but... Che, you finish eating pussy and you're like, God, that was fucking unbelievable. Yeah. That was the best I've ever had. Finish yourself off. That is not how things go. I'm stuffed.

Who put a banana in there? That can't be a thought. I'm sure it has to be. She tries to return the favor like, I have a headache. Yeah, I just want to go to bed Let's just go to bed Oh my god Or she tries to finish herself

The work you began You're like Do you mind I'm not really in the mood Yeah Oh my god Okay hop in Or would you like me to begin?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Join the Jay faking an orgasm as he's eating. He loves to, if you don't know, Francis, he loves the act. Oh, really? The standing 69 guy. That's not true. Yeah, he is. No, but he loves the act, though. Says he comes home from work and his wife is hanging by her feet from the act. Oh, really? The Standing 69 guy. That's not true. Yeah, he is. But he loves the act, though. Says he comes home from work

and his wife is hanging by her feet from the ceiling. Like one of those big-ass bats. Ready to Standing 69. I walk in the door, you better be doing it. You better be upside down when I get home. Got some extra strength shoelaces.

You better be doing a headstand when I get home. Shoes tied with fucking climbing rope. Opening the door in the pussy's eye level has to be a fucking jarring experience. Look through the peephole. Yeah, there better be a pussy eye level shot. Eye level pussy while standing. Eye level pussy in general. That's a long ass torso Her face is purple

And you're like what happened She's like well you were late Yeah I've been here a while What the fuck were you Chill chill Oh my god Francis you strike me as a fellow

Fellow eater Oh Jesus Christ What are you seeing in Francis? The way that you deliver these lines is insane. What do you see about your booty? I see your facial structure. Oh, my God. Yeah, that jaw fits right between. What did you see about Francis that made you think that?

I don't know. Is this like a no beard? I guess that helps, probably. The disposition, though. Generous. Cares about others. Emotional intelligence. Yeah.

Rolls his R's. I like it. I like it. When it's kempt. Well read. I like it when it's kempt well read yeah I like it when it's kempt I don't like an unkempt

buffet where people have you know one dish has spilled into the next yeah people have eaten that before the ladles are all soupy

ew I don't like that no way no way Jose the ladles are all all soup you could see that someone's been eating recently yeah you can't have that I like that you can't have that shit fascinating truly fascinating wow that was a high for me oh we went some places there. I was crying, and my nose was running. I was laughing so hard. That's never happened to me before.

But High Noon Tequila Seltzer, I would have mine, but I threw my fucking copy perfectly into the trash can in a paper airplane, and I was only able to do that because of that delicious High Noon. Break into that thing like a vending machine.

What the hell was that? I was such a They're gonna fall out Slobby I feel horrible Yeah But regardless You'll feel good if you have a high noon

The tequila seltzers are the perfect way To start off a summer night They're so crisp They're so refreshing They're so light 100 calories Gluten free No bullshit additives.

100% pure. It's a Blanco tequila. And it's just real juice. Seltzer. It's so straightforward. You can taste the purity of the ingredients. And they have some great flavors. Passion fruit.

Strawberry. Lime. Great fruit is going down real smooth these days. In the Ferron household. But you could bring some to your household, order them on Drizzly, or go to highnoonspirits.com. Enjoy some highnoons the way that I've been enjoying this show. Elite yakking from some great yakkers.

I miss Kate and Brandon and Big Cat, though. Yeah. I miss those guys and gals. Great guys and gals. I wonder what they're doing out in Chicago. Have we gotten any updates from Kate about her house? I don't think so. Or is shit going good? It's those guys and gals. Great guys and gals. I wonder what they're doing out in Chicago. Have we gotten any updates from Kate about her house? I don't think so. Or is shit going good?

I think it's pretty good. I think she said it was nice. Sounds like it. I doubt it. Campy, right? Right. It's Kate. Campy.

There has to have been a bunch of shit that went wrong. I wonder what they did with their couches. The couches didn't fit when they got there. Couch doctor. Yeah, they must have. It's the only way. Get it out. I was with Jerry in Chicago,

who is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. And he was telling me that when Big Cat moved out of his apartment here, that Jerry went over to his apartment to fix some of the holes in the wall. In exchange for? The TVs. Yeah. Is this nervous? This is out?

I think Big Cat said he was giving away the TVs. So Jerry is very good at, like, spackling and filling holes. Blue collar. Yeah. He's really good at that. And so he went over to just make sure that you know his security deposit would be recouped and fill the walls and stuff like that. And in exchange he was paid by the televisions. But that

he had nine TVs. Nine. Nine. Yeah. And Jerry was like yeah I didn't need nine TVs. So I gave five of them to Rico.. Nine. Yeah. And Jerry was like, yeah, I didn't need nine TVs. So I gave five of them to Rico. Yeah, Rico needed them. He gave five to Rico, and then he kept the

others himself, and as he was getting them out of his car, he dropped them. Them? Or dropped at least one of them, and broke it, and he was like i did the whole three hours of work for for nothing oh my well rico could probably give him one of his five that was what i was wondering is that go four for four what's rico gonna do with five tvs do

these guys just have a place that can are they big or are they like i imagine it's like the gambling cave where they have them all lined up. That's what I'm thinking. They want that set up. How many TVs do you have? One. I have three total. You have three? Yeah, I have one in the guest room, one in the bedroom, and one in the living room. Fair enough.

That's that crazy? No. I got two. It's a damn good set up. I got my little one that I play video games on, and then my big one's right over it and i watch tv while i'm playing video games or i'll put on sports i think those guys when they're watching game like they have they have action on multiple games so like they're trying to keep tabs on that but that's a uniquely barstool thing yeah dude's having a billion tvs up is it i don't think it's i think it's actually a lot more realistic now than it used to because

tvs are not as expensive as they used to be like we could all get if i don't think it's... I think it's actually a lot more realistic now than it used to be because TVs are not as expensive as they used to be. Like, we could all get... I don't have the space for that many TVs, but I could afford to buy, like, three TVs. Have you seen that folding TV? It must be fucking nice, dude. It's pointless fucking... You could, too.

I mean, you don't have to get it. You don't have to get four 95-inch TVs that take up the entire wall. Big Cat's new house, I think he's getting 16 TVs. Yeah, I think he said that. That makes sense. 16? No, it doesn't.

I think everyone should have at least 15. I have zero. Yeah. I don't even have a microwave or a toaster. I don't have a microwave. Really? My apartments have always come with a microwave. Must be nice.

Nate. Nate, dog. Yeah. Oh, yeah, look at this. That's the most pointless fucking thing in the world. What are you going to do with the fold it wants? I don't know. It just becomes like a table.

Does it go all the way in? What the fuck? Oh, that isn't bad. Then you have folding tech. We'll always have some sort of crease or hinge in the middle of the screen. I think I'd rather just have the TV. What the fuck do you have to hide away the TV for? It's such a slow process.

There's another one that rolls up, I think. Remember the curved ones? I would definitely get that. I think that technology is outdated now. Just to have that thing. Just to have it. It was never really that curved. It was just like the ends.

I thought it was kind of cool. What was the point of that? It was supposed to be like a 3D, like an IMAX type experience? It was if you have multiple people on a couch, like the ends are typically the worst seats. But with a curved one, you could get a better depth. One part's eclipsed by the other ones probably with the curved one. Interesting. Yeah.

I feel like you just keep them. I think we have them pretty much down, just like a square that you can put shit on. It's all you need. I've been thinking about upgrading TVs. Yeah? Bring one of mine into my room, mount it right above my bed, go 75.

Just kidding, I can't fit that. I think you could. Well, you have a big-ass fireplace. Your fireplace is massive. I have just kidding. I can't fit that. I think you could. Well, you have a big-ass fireplace. Your fireplace is massive. I have a question. When you guys are watching TV, what mode do you have it on? I don't even know there's modes. Yeah, that's the only one.

That's one of the two modes I use. I wasn't aware there was modes. Like sport mode? Yeah. Yeah, because when you are watching a movie, I remember Tom Cruise once told me that I should have it in film. You guys were talking? Yeah.

Wait, what? He spoke directly to me. He was over at your place. You're like, what mode is this? He said, hey, all these new TVs are too high definition. We want you to watch it the way we wanted you to watch it, so turn your TV to filmmaker mode.

Filmmaker mode or theatrical mode. I wouldn't know if my TV has that. No way Tom Cruise knows how to work his remote to that level. You should probably by default on game mode if you've ever touched that. Well, I don't...

That's my little TV. I could see could see if that has what does it change the color or like the frame rate lightness darkness all that stuff there's all kinds of stuff that's going down different but there's so many different modes that i never know which one to have it on and it's it's something that troubles me because i'm certain i am not receiving the best optimal viewing experience would you change modes for like from a movie to a basketball game? I sure would if I knew which one to do. And I'd like someone to weigh in if there's anyone listening that knows the best way to do this. I feel like they should just have it be straightforward and just like you turn the TV on and that's the best way to watch the TV.

That would be nice. They shouldn't be shuffling like, oh, this one's good for this way, this one's good for that way. Do you guys have soundbars? Because I think I need one. I can't hear movies. No, I don't have a soundbar. Dialogue is tough no matter what these days. And I read, I also heard that I think Prime Video was going to start doing some kind of setting where you could do enhanced dialogue. Because everyone's complaining about this. I shouldn't have to put subtitles. Dialogues are what you need.

Subtitles. And I hate having to read the whole thing, especially when it's a comedy and you hear you see the joke first. You can't read the read their dialogue before they say it. Yeah. Too many movie theaters are doing that right now. Closed captioning. Yeah.

Yeah. Closed captioning on like a prime time. I don't need that. That shit early in the morning, dude. Yeah. Freaking second class citizens. The deaf? Are there...

The bookworms. Are there deaf still walking around like that? I feel like everybody has gotten Mr. Beast to clear their shit up for that. Everybody's just kind of cool now. I don't think there's that many deaf people out there that every single TikTok needs to have closed captions on it. The amount of blind people in New York City is astounding. Oh, yeah, way more blinds than deafs.

And you can't do shit about that. It's the worst city to smell better. We're in Blind Alley, too, though. 23rd is the hot spot for the blind people and more respect to them remember when you I remember I helped that blind guy and you saw me oh yeah but yeah that was fucking nuts that's why we do it wait I saw Roan do that no you didn't yeah you remember you helped that blind person across the road right a block away. I did not.

Yeah, you did. I've never helped a blind person. We talked about it as soon as we got on here. No, it skews me out. Blind people? I think you were there and you were thinking of me. Oh, it was you. It was me. Oh, yeah, it was you.

What are you trying to give him the credit for? Wait, Roan saw you. We both saw you. We both saw me. All right, I was with Roan, and we saw it. I was doing it when you guys arrived, which means that I did it without knowing you were watching, which means I get full credit for it. You knew we were watching.

No, I did not. 100%. No, I was trying to see through that guy's eyes. I didn't know you were there. You knew it was a high visibility area for you. It was close to the office, but that guy was still blind. He needed help there. Do they need help now. Do they need help?

Did he need help? Probably not. I don't know. Sorry, Rowan. That was for sure not. Yeah. I wouldn't do that. Harness your name.

It's icky. I just grabbed him. Let's go. If I don't wash their jackets, there's no chance. I'm really kidding. I fucking have the utmost respect for blind people. There's two blind rappers. One of them is named Manas Ill, and he's from Australia. And the other respect for blind people. There's two blind rappers. One of them is named Manaz Il,

and he's from Australia, and the other one's Blind Fury, and he was one of the best guys on 106 and Park. He would fucking crush it. He'd have someone come and whisper into your ear about what the outfit was, and he would rip people apart. Oh, he would roast as well?

He was blind and roasting. 106 and Park, that was Jin. Jin was the major thing of that. It was all the battle rap. It was the major thing of that. Yes. It was all the battle rap. It was all insult rap. Yes. It makes it way more impressive that he's blind.

This dude, Blind Fury, was fucking sick, dude. He had a cool-ass voice. I might not have known he was white. But he was very talented, and I just say that to illustrate the utmost respect I have for the blind. Can you guys name blind people that you admire? The pianist for Ambassador X

or X Ambassador. Is he? Goes hard. He goes off. Really? So just the one. I don't want to lie. Yeah, no, that's totally cool. I don't know a whole lot. There's not that many that are really getting their moment in the sun.

I think of athletes. I think they wouldn't know. I think they could sense light and dark, though, right? Really? I think that's more glandular. Your pineal gland I think does that. I wonder what mode they have their TVs on. Blind mode?

Volume on 100. I guess you don't need that. You probably get the volume really low. If you're blind, you probably have incredible hearing. I hope we have blind Yak fans. Me too. I think we do. Blind people probably love podcasts.

Yeah, you're right. Blind YouTube viewers? Give us the click. What do you know? What do you care? Shout out to the blinds. Didn't KFC have beef with blindos back in the day? Did he?

They came at him. This old barstool shit. Why? What'd he do? You wrote a blog. It came at him? Something about blind people. Strong take.

It was a hot take. How hot? Fuck the blind? I think it's up there. Huh. It was like blinds and Hondurans. Pretty close. Yeah, I remember the Honduras.

That was good. That was good. I was on his side with that one. Right. What was his take on Honduras? He hated them. He hated the people from Honduras. Why? Because they had hitters.

I think they do. They're kind of nasty, to be honest. A lot of Bitcoin bros are down there now. Honduras. They're not doing anything. Venezuela, right? Isn't it Venezuela? They're always going overseas.

Converted its currency for a minute. Oh, yeah, maybe. But I think that there's a Central American country, too, that has a lot of them chilling on the beach. I think I saw 60 Minutes about it. I just watched the clock ticking part and then was on my phone instead of paying attention to the entire thing fuck yeah fuck yes tell you what this weather is really great i'm i'm feeling like very nice

is right around the corner it's not your craving You're craving fall? I just, I hate the fucking summer. Yeah, I do too. And I'm really ready for football and I'm really excited for football. Want to watch some

football games together? Yes. Oh yeah, have you guys passed each other in the building yet? Not yet, but we're

Oh, that'll be fun. We're one floor and half a hallway apart. That's crazy. Oh yeah. I've been hoping to see you in the gym. How do you go to the gym usually?

You know, right after work, like 5.30, 6. I'm a morning guy. We're going to start our own podcast and call it Fathers of a Boy Son. Oh, very interesting. How does that make you feel? Fine by me. Sass you can't get to. Try as you might.

I'm going to get to him. All right. Guy like me, though, you could get to me. Easy. Big time. I'm pretty gettable. I wish we could do an outside yak today. It would be cool.

Like when you would have class outside underneath a tree? I could never find the right way to sit, though. Crisscross applesauce. It was always underwhelming. It never delivered. Got to say crisscross applesauce and then just pick at the grass the whole time. It's a little bit emasculating to sit with your legs crossed. Crisscross the grass.

Yeah, that's fun. Even just the sound it makes. I don't know if I've ever heard that one. The one impression you can't do is grass. I actually don't know if there's a sound at all. My boy Rone has the best grass. Listen, listen, listen. I feel like grass is notoriously silent.

Picking it, the ripping sound. Oh, yeah, yeah, wait. Let me picture it. It's almost more of a feeling. Yeah. Not a lot of sound. Kind of like that sound. I get it.

I get it. I see the grass, but it's got to be pretty tough grass. Yeah. I'm talking about crabgrass. Yeah, fescue. Strong, strong grass. Dense fescue. It's hanging on.

Let's hear this shit, baby, baby. All right. No respect on my name. All right. No respect on my fucking name. Apologies, Adam. Wait, what was that? You sound like a toad.

All right, you do it then, Sass. Yeah. I'm not the impressionist guy. Do your grass. I don't do impressions. Come on, give us some grass. Yes, you do. You're doing behind closed doors, but you're just shy.

I don't do impressions. You're like that golfer that Francis has beef with. I know. Norman Jong. A little shy. I cannot tell you. By the way, he's from Guam. Yeah, that's what Wikipedia says.

How do you say that? Is it Guamese or Guam? Guamayan. Guam. Yeah, that's what Wikipedia says. How do you say that? Guamese or Guam? Guamayan. Guamayan? Respect. I wanted to call him Norman Jong-un so fucking badly the whole week, and I just didn't, and I knew I couldn't. Yeah, you could have.

You said it now. You got it off. This is the yak. You can get away with anything. That's a fact. Nope. Constantly away with anything. That's a fact. Constantly pushing the boundaries. That's a fact. Got milk looking at it.

Got milk looking at it. I should not have said that. What was that? That was sass. That was a sass impression. Oh, I should have said that. Not even close. It's spot on.

Not even close. Spot on. It's spot on. It's not even close. Spot on. It's so easy to do, yeah. Oh, man. But he was making fun of people with vitiligo. What's that? What KB was saying was so much worse. What were you calling them, KB?

I didn't even know that's what we were talking about. I said, is that the one with splatter faces? I didn't know. I wasn't talking about them when I said that. I was talking about other shit. Some like archaic shit. Yeah, you were talking about other shit. Some biblical shit.

Maybe group them together under the term splatter face. I didn't even notice that facial defect. What is splatter face? It looks like Rorschach from Watchmen. Not this woman, not Winnie. Oh, you called her splatterface? Sasquatch or gut milk looking ass. Oh my God, dude.

I theorize that we may have been talking about a splatterface, but that's not a splatterface. Oh, man. That's as bad as it gets. I know, and I instantly apologized. I should have done the Fousey and started just throwing shit around the room. I never say that. I never say that. I never say that. I need to see this clip.

Yeah, yeah. You might want to see it badly. I think he did it on purpose. 100%. Wow. Because he's the type of guy who probably had to say the N-word for like eight years.

Yeah, I think like some like versions think they can this is what is he in jail i should have done this what is that room i think he's in it looks like a classroom i never use that word i swear to fucking god this isn't content. I never used that fucking word. I've listened to rap songs every day on this subathon, and I always change it out for brother.

I had a tweet that literally said, I had a tweet that literally said, I hate when street... That rules. I didn't know that was... Subathon? Imagine someone Without the cameras on

Having that reaction To like Accidentally slipping that in One of your boys That was Mince Asuna Yeah He's tweeting through it though 20 minutes ago

He just did a Barbie girl Walking around No one's actually mad at him How could they be What is this Good ass content Yeah That's him

Who's he getting He slips the n-word into this content. That's him. Who's he getting? A blonde bimbo girl in a fantasy world. He slips the N-word into this. No! No! I say I'm a brother girl. Why?

Why me? Forget me. On his hands and knees. It's like the end of Shawshank Redemption Not again Blames God Yeah Who's the dude that broke in here? Alex Stein

Alex Stein He's in a boxing match? He was just in like a Taco Bell starting shit. The pregnant woman. Yeah. That must be an interesting life to wake up every day and be like, that's his thing. He's like, I'm going to punch a pregnant woman in the stomach.

That's definitely his thing. I'm going to throw hot dogs at a Muslim dude. You got to pick your battles, man. Did he do that? It's on the checklist today. Hot dogs on the Muslim guy. Got it. Did he actually do that?

Yeah, but I think he accidentally got turkey dogs. I think he purposely got turkey dogs. So it was okay? No, it's cool. It's cool. They respect this. Oh, you fell for this, idiots? Wait, speaking of, I meant to bring this up when we were talking about jersey jerry earlier did you see his instagram story yesterday when he was like had to break up with the guy by my

vape yes he's a vape and didn't think it would be so emotional and he said like thank you and then like in arabic underneath like some message to the guy i was fucking dying i didn't see it it's so it might still be on his stories on Instagram. I wanted to look up what he was saying to his brother, his vape bro. Why would you even tell the guy you were leaving? So he gets vapes delivered by like a dealer? I think he buys in bulk. He doesn't.

They don't have nicotine in them, though, interestingly. Jerry's? Jerry's? Jerry's That's what he told me Probably on the water His vapes are just Flavored air Cause he's sober

Yeah And it's just for the oral fixation Really? Wow That's good for him Oh man But yeah it was on his Instagram story too And it was like a picture

With that Arabic writing Picture of him? I don yeah, it was on his Instagram story, too, and it was like a picture with the Arabic writing. A picture of him? I don't think it was of the guy, but I forget. I don't know. It was just so funny. Jerry's such a goat. Is he out in Chicago already? I think so.

He's been fixing up his place. You know who I got to know was Trent. Oh, God. I'll tell you what. I love Trent. He's'll tell you what I love Trent He's a simple man I love Elaborate

Trent is wonderful Yeah He's wonderful He's as pure as it gets And you can I like to grab him Put my arm around him Kind of

You know he's a big boy So you can kind of rough him up Yeah rough house I like that I like rough housing with him Where did you What did you guys wind up getting Yeah, rough house. I like that. I like rough housing with him. What did you guys wind up getting for dessert that night? I always feel like I was asking. Trent and I, that's what we bonded over.

We became dessert buddies, and I wanted to feed him as much unhealthy dessert as possible. You said you like watching fat people get fatter. Yeah, especially if I can contribute to it. Lizzo. You're a feeder. I don't think Trent's fat. He's not.

He's literally big boned. He literally has like wide, a broad clavicle. Strong sternum. I'm going to get lampooned for this take. Like Trent's fat. Nah, he ain't. Dave's going to.

Were you trying to put him on to new desserts? Guys, what the hell are we even doing here? I wanted, when he didn't want dessert, I would push him to a point where he would change his mind. And then we would have it together. We would both get a dessert. Yeah, that's perfect about desserts. Two forks. One of the problems with Illinois

is that they list the calorie count on the menus at all these restaurants. And there was a brookie. It was a brownie cookie with ice cream. And that dessert, I think, was like 1,300 calories. And he was like, do you want to split it? And I said, no, I think we should each get one. So we each had one, and we finished it.

Ice cream is way more calories than I expected. It's dense. The Ben & Jerry's pint, My God. 2,000 calories. I used to put a whole pint away a night. So Milk Bar advertises their cereal milk ice cream as 130 calories a cup, which seems very low. That's very low.

Probably uses skim milk or something. It's good as hell. Yeah, it still sounds good. Sounds worth it. Yeah, there's a lot of healthy ice creams now. Let's hop. I don't think this is... None of them are as good as Yeah, there's a lot of healthy ice creams now. None of them are as good as M&J's. I don't know, man.

The coconut milk is pretty good. Those ones, like the Van Leeuwen's, when they use cashew milk. That's very good. It's really solid. I want ice cream. I want it bad. I do too, but sometimes you just feel a little better about yourself. When you deny the craving? Well, no, when you go the alternate route route when you have the non-dairy one

oh totally anything that's like the substitute if you can trick yourself into eating that it buys you a lot of extra naughty time on the back end yeah like sometimes i'll have like a vegetarian meatball then i'm like okay i'm gonna have whatever the fuck i want after this this is weird i i didn't eat yesterday what i didn't have food what the first time i can remember that ever happened you forget were you too yeah i forgot wow i forgot and i uh just wasn't that hungry the travel day by eight o'clock i was hungry but by that point i thought it was maybe like 9 o'clock, actually. By 9 o'clock, I thought it was too close to bed for me to eat.

So I just said, I'm just going to drink a lot of water. So how long was your entire fast? Was it like 36 hours? Like 8 o'clock one night? I guess from the previous night until this morning. I heard that shit is good. I heard 36 hours is ideal. I didn't eat.

Feel leaner? Dude, my pants fit so easily today. Yeah, it's amazing what like one day can do. One day, I feel like a god. Yeah, I wouldn't mind taking a day off eating every now and again. But I usually, I'll do like a 24 hour, so I'll have a meal, wait a whole 24 hours, then I'll have that same meal again. Dinner, run it back to a dinner.

Paul, you eat a lot. No, not really. No, you do. No, I eat one or two meals a day, max. But big meals, and you don't count your little snackies in between. No, I have very small meals. Usually it'll be like a sandwich. But then I have like 10 drinks.

Yeah, that's where the calories are coming from. I'm going to have some small bills. Usually it'll be like a sandwich. But then I have like 10 drinks. Yeah. That's where the calories are coming from. I'm going to have some drinks tonight. I'm going to Tyler Childers. Oh. God, dude, I can't fucking wait. He's fantastic. Radio City Music Hall.

Ugh. I had some drinks last night watching Sassy perform. You went? Oh, yeah. Of course I did. You crushed. Who else was there? New jokes.

New material. New material. No, it was okay. No, it was good. It was deece. The best. else was there? New jokes. New material. New material. No, it was okay. No, it was good. It was deece. The best. Was Colin there? Hosting.

Colin was hosting. Nice. Who else? Who else? Funny Norwegian guy. You have Daniel Simonson? I don't know. I had to leave.

On a tongue. Dry. Yes. People don't like. That guy was on the show? Yep. That guy's the funniest guy in New York, I think. Hilarious.

I think he likes ass. No. No. That guy was really funny. Daniel Simonson. Is his name Daniel Simonson? Is the funniest guy. There was a group of Hasidic Jewish guys

having their bachelor party. One of them. On a Tuesday. And they were heckling. What? Sheckling. Sheckling. They weren't like annoying.

Come on. Come on. You had that. I didn't, but that's. You had that. I swear I didn't. You must have had that. I promise you.

Just let it breathe. My word. No, they weren't like annoying heckling. They were more like any joke that they heard that they liked. It would be like an explosive reaction. Like they would fall into each other's arms and they'd be like, that was actually good.

Yeah. That was actually fire. But it would be, yeah, but it would be like the middle of a, it would be like a tag like in the buildup

and they'd just be like causing a fucking ruckus. They were good. They were fine. They were funny. They were mischievous guys. Yeah, they were cool. KB knows?

Yeah, I do know. KB knows. Yeah, I do know. I've seen. You've seen the curiosity. KB, how's the DJ career going? Stop. Like everything else he tries to start out. Quit learning Spanish. What was the name?

What was your name? KB did what? KB did what? There's no new tracks coming out? I'm not inspired anymore. There's no good music coming out? I'm not inspired anymore. I don't even want to go. There's no good music that's come out. God forbid.

I ain't going to fucking Mirage with these killings. What? Yeah, that guy, the Goldman analyst. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's fucking haunting. What is it, the Smiley Face gang? And they're in Chicago as well. They're killing people?

That's who it is? They kill someone at Brooklyn Mirage? Two people after the concert, which... Same shit as the Austin guy? I don't know what they're doing. They may be posing as Ubers, which there are a lot of makeshift Uber drivers, and I think I've even rid

of... We did one after the end. Which is terrifying to think of. Can't be falling for that. We would have taken that guy easily, though. You gotta be ready to kill your Uber driver. At all times.

That's the takeaway. There's like that one girl in her Uber that she had a gun to the front. She was in the backseat of her Uber and she was holding a gun.

Yes. The backseat. Oh that's I mean it's probably more scary for drivers around. Yeah. It feels extreme. Yeah.

Just for no reason. Yeah. For a picture. Yeah a guy was riding in an Uber, another one I saw, and someone tried to stick him up. He just kept driving. He kept very calm. But I think they're sticking up and killing Uber drivers sometimes,

which is spooky. That shit is spooky as hell. I mean, I took one of those right when I moved here, one of those fake Ubers. Oh, you got ripped. You got robbed. Yeah. I've always gotten decent deals.

I got a bad deal, like $300. You just have to be very honest up front. Those people who try to intercept you when you're coming out of the airport. They made you stop at an ATM, right? No, I got to Venmo him, but I got— Got to Venmo him. Good opportunity. Lucky guy.

I didn't even— wasn't even I got like straight up tricked like I had an uber and he was here and that guy was and I was like I got in I was like for Harry because it's the same car and he was like yeah wow it says white Mazda Miata but you're actually driving a fucking suburban I'm on the back of a what an upgrade I'll get in then he took my phone and he was like um he's like it's not giving me the directions like where can I see where you're going I took my phone and he was like, it's not giving me the directions. Can I see where you're going? He took my phone and he canceled the order on my phone.

Oh, my God. I remember this story. I was just in an unmarked vehicle. You should have died. Yeah, that was scary. He almost might as well have killed you. Yeah. I was texting everybody.

He gave you back your phone? He gave me back my phone and then he drove me home. And then he was like, it's $300. And I was like, I don't know. And then I called Uber, and it was a whole thing, and they were like, you're going to have to do a police report. Nah, I'm not doing that. Why would it be on them?

I don't know if it was, because I think he was, I think he might have been the Uber driver. Uber's going to pay for this. I think he was the Uber driver and he He was like, oh, this guy's a sucker. I don't know what it was. I don't know what happened. It was either I got

into the wrong car or he was the Uber driver. Regardless, he took my phone. He knew to take my phone and cancel the Uber. So he was like, I'm just gonna have you

pay way more. I don't know. The whole thing was really weird. Yeah. It was like right when I moved here. I just didn't know

that was a thing that people did. You don't stick up for yourself either. We're on the highway for like an hour and a half coming back from JFK. What am I going to do? 45 minutes while we're on the bridge? Be like, hey man, you can't do that. Or when you get to the place, just be like, I'm not giving you $300.

I was more like I'd rather just give him the money and then figure this out with Uber after. Yeah. What did JJ do? Someone got... He had someone in the back of his car. He was in the Uber. It was in the trunk. And there was someone being human trafficked.

He saw someone moving. He made the car pull over. He hopped out of the car and they drove away. And he never got the license plate. But I think he was on the way to do part of my take or something like that. He did part of my take afterwards, didn't tell the story, and then the next day the story came out. Did he go to the cops immediately?

I think he did call the cops. He seems like a sound dude. He didn't get the license plate? I guess he wasn't sound enough. That would be pretty terrifying, I guess. Uber driver tried to rob Fasoli for all of his camera equipment. Oh. He put it all in the trunk, and then he walked around the car to get in,

and the Uber driver just took off down the street. Yeah. It seems like a bad idea when I have your name, car, make, model, license plate, and location. Sometimes you just want to teach Fasoli a lesson. You probably knew how to do it. Fasoli caught up to the car and just started banging on the windows and the guy was just like I'm sorry I don't know what happened a good response honestly this I I was at the stand like a week or so ago and I called an uber

and the guy came and I watched him he stopped for one second in front of the stand and then said that he had picked me up and then kept driving. Oh, my God. And my app was like, you're on your way home. And he got to the stoplight or the stop sign at the end of the next thing. And I was like walking and I jogged and caught him. Yeah. And I knocked on the door and he opened it. And I go, what just happened?

And he goes, sorry, I must have made a mistake. I didn't know where you were. And I was like, you said you took me. You say, right now it says that I'm in this car. Yeah. And he goes, what do you want me to do? He goes, do you want to get out and i go no now we're going you were in the car now i'm in the car but i'm mad at it yeah

he is right like yeah what yeah and we're going and i and i keep i'm like why did you why did you lie and he goes listen man do you want to go home or not right that's a threat and i said he goes you can get out and call another uber and that's what he wanted you to do he wanted you to have to cancel i said no we'll we'll go we'll go and we went but we didn't speak for the rest of the ride yikes um i i don't understand what those guys what their strategy is because they they do that when like when they steal your food. You're like, you know I'm just going to get a full refund, and then you're going to get charged for the food. Why don't they just go buy food?

I don't think they get charged. I think they're banking on the fact that you won't go to the trouble. I don't think they... Do they get charged? I don't think they do. There's probably so many people who fake that. I get a refund every single time. How do you... i've had dudes just

take a picture of like the street in new york and be like your food's here and i'm like dude you're like in a different fucking borough and then i instantly get a refund yeah but i don't think they're charging those people i think that it's just like a built-in buffer of like error really i think right if they were because people lie so much about that. Well, I saw a video of it one time at a hospital. A woman, a nurse behind a counter, ordered the food. The guy delivered it to her, and then she put in a complaint saying that the food hadn't got there. And he came back in with his camera being like, I delivered you your food. Like, you know I delivered you your food.

He basically confronted this woman because I think they get penalized in some way. I like this. be like this. I like this. This is, this is good. Justice makes me happy. I love it. This is probably the hospital.

Uh, I deliver food here yesterday from Chipotle and you put down that I didn't deliver it to you because I just got fired from my job. Oh my God. Yeah, it was you. This is my only source of income. I do this all day.

Now I'm fired from my job? Because you want your $10 burrito? Who does this? Who does that? Fuck yes. I need the corporate number or something. I need to get your ass fired. He's about to kick off his shoes and lick her ass. Is it sped up?

Or is that just what his voice sounds like? Yeah, yeah. Alright, you want to say that? No, what? Did you get your food or what? I even called my lawyer. like yeah yeah all right you want to say that yeah yeah no what did you what are you going did you get your food or what how are you i even called my lawyer he told me i can call the cops because it's theft it's theft are you gonna say you got your food or not or should i call the cops because you're stealing she doesn't need to say yeah who doesn't raise your ass who raised you seriously piece of trash that's what you are trash are you the Are you the manager? Yeah. I delivered food here yesterday from Chipotle on DoorDash. I DoorDash all day. That's my main source of income. That's all I do.

And this girl, I delivered it to her. And then she went on DoorDash and put down that I didn't deliver it here. So then this morning I wake up to go DoorDash and I'm fired because of her. Because she said I didn't deliver it. I would never do that. I hand it right to her. That's the girl. Is there a corporate number I can call or something? Because you guys have thieves working here. You have thieves working here. Yes. That was good.

That was awesome. I think there's more of that type of, there's more where that came from on the internet. I like that. That felt like justice. How funny would it be if it was sass? Like, what? I don't know what you're talking about i guess i got it i don't know you're gonna deny that heavy i don't know no i don't remember you have corn in your teeth

there's a wrapper in the trash right there it's just me standing at my door With my turtle beaches on What? A long shirt and no pants What? What? Oh man Let me do this WWE ad Do we have any new ones to look at?

Play WWE 2K23 for free This weekend on Steam from the 3rd to the 7th and on Xbox One or Series XS from the 3rd through the 6th. Only available on Xbox for Xbox Live Gold and Xbox Game Pass Ultimate subscribers. The Deluxe Edition will also be on sale from the 2nd to the 16th of August for PlayStations 4 and 5. WWE 2K23 is now on sale for 45% off Standard Edition from now until August 7th on Steam and on Xbox.

The Revel with Wyatt DLC pack is out now featuring Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy along with Blair Davenport, Joe Gacy, Valhalla, and Zeus. Luckily, this DLC is included in the season pass in deluxe slash icon editions of WWE 2K23. And listen to this. Once you are playing 2K23 on Steam or Xbox, they mean to say Steam right there. On Steam or Xbox, take a screenshot of your character and submit it to the Yak via social platforms with the hashtag Barstool2KSweepstakes.

The best submission will receive a custom WWE 2K slash Yak championship belt. Reminder, SummerSlam is this weekend and WWE 2K23 is also available for free to play on Xbox slash Steam all weekend. So, here's everyone's chance to jump into the SummerSlam ring

with your own superstar in WWE 2K23. Any more good ones to look at? Those ones yesterday of us were incredible. Oh oh who is that Kate's ex-boyfriend oh my god yep that's him

that's good holy shit can you pick the briefs looks like you can do everything looks like you can pick his underwear holy shit Kate with the hard eyes she's definitely loving that guy she's not joking He's doing everything in this. Looks like you can pick his underwear. Holy shit. She's loving it. With the hard eyes, yeah. She's definitely loving that guy. She's not joking.

Yeah, you've got to check that stuff out on Steam. Full Steam ahead. Maybe a wheel spin. Why not? Man, this was a good time. I enjoyed myself. Yeah, you guys are funny people. You are too Man, this was a good time. I enjoyed myself. I laughed hard. Yeah.

You guys are funny people. You are too, Francis. That was really funny. The only thing we'll make it funnier is if that Swedish guy from the show last night was here. Yeah. Funniest guy in New York. He's great. By far.

Bar none. Have you ever met him? Is he a nice guy? Yeah. What's he like off the stage? Not dissimilar from his act, but he refuses to do podcasts. Respect. He's so funny. Because he only wants to do stand-up and does not want to, I guess, I don't know, pollute

that purity. I don't know. Respect it. He doesn't do any podcasts or like really any social media. I love this guy. I'm not sure. Yeah, I couldn't tell. Yeah, I mean, he's unbelievable.

He's opening for like Burt now. Oh, wow. He's been picked up for that Birdie, whatever, one of those big tours that he's doing. Burt collects openers, though. That dude's got a fucking Avengers fleet of openers. Strong, funny openers. Spin the wheel?

Spin the wheel? Come on, Carbone. Oh, sick, it's Carbone now? That's way more fun. We didn't get shit. We're not getting shit. This is some bullshit. We haven't gotten absolutely any We're not getting shit. This is some bullshit. We haven't

gotten absolutely any fucking shit. We're getting dick. Tomorrow is Shohei Otani Day.

Yes. Right. Gotta get my uniform. Gotta go get mine too. Yeah, what are we doing?

What uniform are you getting? We're just paying them off. I'm gonna get the MLB store has fucked me

in the past. They don't let you try on and their sizes are weird. Yep. Fucking weird. I think I'm going to have to go large. The medium is like a dress on me.

In the Mets. We got to get some stuff. So we're going to be having some sake to celebrate Shohei Otani. We're going to maybe celebrate some of the cultural facts about Japan extremely respectfully. And

what's the dish? No raising our voice. What about some squid? Sushi? facts about Japan extremely respectfully and... What's the dish? No raising our voice. What about some squid? Sushi? Good squid. Let's try squid. Sush?

Okay. No, you don't want to try squid? No, I'm fine. You grimaced. I'm not a big squid guy. Me neither. But I don't even know that I've ever had it.

Let's get a bunch of squid. Or a slime. A bunch of squid? Taco Yaki? Heaps of squid. Taco Yaki's very good. I don. Get a bunch of squid. Or a slime. A bunch of squid? Taco Yaki? Heaps of squid. I don't want a heap of squid. Taco Yaki's very good. I don't want heaps of squid.

You don't want heaps of squid. I think at the Whole Foods you can buy a whole squid. I don't want heaps of squid at all. I want to throw down heaps of squid, boy. I heard it's really salty. What did you say? Taco Yaki?

Taco Yaki. Fried shrimp balls. It's a street food. No, we're getting a fucking heap of squid, I guess. Have you seen these videos? street food. Apes. We're getting a fucking squid, I guess. Have you seen these videos? They go viral every time. Apes.

We're getting buckets of squid delivered. Tubs. Just a pail of squid. That's Taco Yaki? Fried squid balls. Watch when they flip them. I don't want any squid. That looks fire.

That's what I want. Come on. Need that. That looks mid. Mid. Mid. Mid. Mid. Mid. Mid at best.

Mid is good now. No. Mid is the highest compliment now. How many do you get? Six? Six takoyakis? Seven? Eight?

A bunch. Is there a dipping sauce? I get takoyakis. I feel like you need a white. Oh, there you go. A little drizzle on top. Is it Kewpie mayo? Yeah, you need to.

Ew. I didn't like the recoil. Oh, wait. you go. A little drizzle on top. Is it Kewpie mayo? Yeah, you need to... Ew. I didn't like the recoil. Oh, wait. Never mind. Yeah, I don't want this. What? Yes, you do. Squid is gross.

Yeah, fuck. It's an octopus. Let's get some, like, calamari or something. Oh, yeah. I forgot. I hate that shit. This is an octopus. Whoops. You don't want heaps?

No, not anymore. Come on, KB. They're all thick. They're so thick. That doesn't look good to you? I'd rather have seaweed salad. All right. Yeah.

No, no, no. So we got to go buy jerseys? Yeah, right after this, I'm going to walk up to the MLB store. Just get us some hats. Just get me to have a hat. Oh, no. Anybody can wear an angel's hat. You got to have the name.

Give me a shirzy then. I'll just grab... Just give me 200 gotta have the name. Give me a jersey then. I'll just grab, just give me 200 bucks after the show, I'll run up. Rent today. Yeah, fuck. I don't rent.

Pay your rent on the second day, third day of the month. Forgot to pay, so I paid it this morning. Fuck. But you talked about it the day it was due. I know,

and then I forgot. Just give me some shit. Oh, look at that top right. Cream. I'm going to go top left real tight on the waist. Real deep plunging V. Maybe just give me that reduced $33 one. You'll never wear it again.

I want to get you something you'll wear a lot. Maybe a signed one. Maybe give me a $4,000 signed ball. I feel like there's got to be a signed ball with him that's less than $4,000. Probably doesn't sign much. I don't need this. I'll figure out the price. Also, I don't really feel like going up to the MLB store.

All that shit you were talking. That shit is places far as hell. What is that, 20 blocks from here? That's cool. Yeah, let's just get a couple of those. Can we express those? 44 bucks. Probably not.

Otani Day is going to be a disaster. Yeah, it is. I need heaps of Otani gear. Heaps. Let's get an MLB rep to get out here and just get us all fitted in office. Or at least the New Era folks or fanatics. We got to get Michael Rubin in here to fucking drip us out in some Shohei. Oh, nice.

Fuck yeah, the troops will love that. He's got everything I want. Have you met Michael Rubin? He's the guy who had the party once. He came into the office. He did? Or old office. But I think he was from my Plymouth meeting.

So we talked about the restaurant I used to work at. He was very affable. Plymouth White Marsh. Extremely affable. Plymouth White Marsh High School. You're exactly right Do they have good wrestling? They're a powerhouse

Austin and John They're always a fucking Audenmeyer Tough ass Yeah To all Americans Guys what are we even doing here? Johnson

What are we even doing here? This is banana land This goddamn buffet of bits over here I'm starving I'm gonna go find some food You are? Show's not over yet brother I'm starving. I'm going to go find some food. You are? That was not over yet, brother. I haven't eaten banana meat for really today either.

You want to walk to K-Town with me? Is this where you're going? I'll walk to K-Town. Yeah, I like this new place. You going to get some bulgogi? Yeah, I got it yesterday. It was very good. Bulgogi beef?

Bulgogi and glass noodles. Let's walk to K-Town and then let's go up to the MLB store. Perfect. I got 200. All right. I'll take the lot. All right. We'll come back tomorrow for Shohei Otani Day,

but make sure everybody bring a fact about Japan. Mm-hmm. Or him. No. None of that wishy-washy, like, nothing you could, like, find as your first fact. Right. We'll dig.

No making your voice deeper to sound like shogun yeah nothing like i need to know what not to do like what not to do or don't do japanese school girl no no grunting we will not be grunting gonna be grunting really respectful you guys know anyone japanese i know chinese and k Korean people, but I really don't think I know any. They only come to America. Because they got a better spot. There's not a lot of high Japanese population places or neighborhoods in New York.

Because their whole country is like a blue zone, and they live beautifully in gardens with respect. They're demure. They have it figured out, but they do need to fix their birth rate issue. Yeah, they dropped 800,000. They are just declining precipitously. Because their dick policies are blurry. The majority are. Do they need to figure that out?

Why do they need to figure that out? Because they're going to have American immigrants coming over to pick their fucking... Who do you think is going to clean your toilets if you hate Americans so much? have American immigrants coming over to pick their fucking... Who do you think's gonna clean your toilets? If you hate Americans so much. If you hate Americans so much. Who's gonna come over and clean your toilets?

Who's gonna make your takoyakis? Going to trim your bonsai tree. Donald Trump, if you hate the Japanese so much, who do you think's gonna make your takoyakis? No, you know I didn't't I never mean it like that No I never mean it like that Kelly Osbourne was like

She was like Mr. Trump if you hate Mexicans so much Then who's going to clean your toilets if you close the borders Wow Just like exposing herself How funny would it be if she had a foosie reaction to that?

No. No. Never say that. That was kind of the best thing he could. Yeah. That was awesome. There was no doubt

that he was sorry. Remorseful. Yeah. That comes from years and years of fucking up. Yeah. Years of saying the N word.

Yeah. You don't sing this song? It's a constant battle every day for him not to. Yeah. Like a relapsing. Why? I've been so good. That's what he was on.

God damn. All right. See you guys tomorrow. All right. All right. See you guys tomorrow. All right. That's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankees love. It's the act.

It's the act.