The Yak - We Have a SERIOUS Poop Controversy On Our Hands | The Yak-5-2-22

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I promised Ron we wouldn't start without him. I'm sorry. I love the volume. Okay, now we can start. Oh, boy. Look at the door, Sass.

Yeah, Sass, don't worry. Oh, I'm sorry. Sass texted the group chat this morning. He was like, hey, it's really hot in this office. How do I make it colder? Like, you see that box that's sitting on the wall? I didn't know where it was. With a bunch of numbers on it?

I didn't even do it. Someone else did it. We do have a lot of walls. He is, but it's pretty intuitive. Hey, boys. He's never had air of walls. It's pretty intuitive. Hey, boys. He's never had air conditioning before. That's true. That is foreign to you.

How's everyone doing? We just recorded a banger of an episode. Yeah, I saw you had a chick on. Yeah. She's hilarious. Maddie? Maddie Smith from Wild N' Out. Love her. She's really, really.

Good show, right? Jerry's here. Very good show. Jerry's. Jerry. Well, that fucking jumpsuit's wavy, dude. I think that shit looks dope. Basement boy.

Who's that? I don't know. I've seen it online. I live in my mom's basement, so. Yeah, there you go. Boom. It's true. That shirt is true.

Jerry said he didn't feel like he fit in on the act. I was like, what does that even mean? I don't know. I just, you know. No, you're self-critical, Jerry like he fit in on the act. I was like, what does that even mean? I don't know. I just, you know. You're self-critical, Jerry. You fit in great. The show is like water. It just finds different levels.

Yeah, it's a great show. Lends into different things. Yeah, it is. We actually brought you on because we want a full recap of the Steelers draft. Yeah, I thought it was really good. I thought, you know, Kevin Colbert going out did a great job. I mean. He's out?

Yeah, he's done, man. Who are they going to sign? Weidel? Andy Weidel or something like that? Wait, he did a whole draft and then he left? Yeah. That's weird. Well, that's what he wanted to do.

He said, I'll leave you guys off. Who cares if he wanted to do that? Why do you let him do that? Yeah, that's a weird thing to do, right? How is that weird? To be like, hey, it would be like. I'm leaving, but I'm going to take all your players. I'm going to pick your player for the next five years.

I'm going to create a new show and I'm going to decide who's on it and what we're going to talk about, and then I'm out. It's one of the best to ever do it. At what? GM. What if it's bad draft? I don't think it will be. How long has he been the GM?

20, 22. Oh, so the Steelers are done. They're done. Two years, wow. I think 22. The Steelers are done. Oh, he was good then. They're done now.

I don't think they're done, no. I don't know why you're bringing up the Steelers. I mean, if you want to... You always start Monday mornings with picking one. Okay, well, if you want to go that route, I mean, you guys didn't get much help. 11 new players. Whoa, yeah. You're picking guys that could be working at the local

Portillo's in the 6th and 7th round. Wow. That's a Chicago reference. I thought you were looking down on blue collar. I'm not. I'm just saying. Sounded like you were. Portillo's has salads now, though. Portillo's does.

You can get a lean meal at Portillo's these days. Yeah, sounded like you were looking down on blue collar. What would you give the Bears draft? A plus. Yeah, okay. It's such a sick rivalry. The fact that there is now a Bears-Steelers rivalry They hate me in Chicago

They want me dead in Chicago I remember there was I can't remember what year it was Maybe 06 The Steelers played against the Bears And there was a Steelers fan that got poisoned after At a bar Poisoned

Gary, they might try and poison you That's why I would never go to Chicago They'll try and poison your poisons Don't. See if you can find it. Poisoned. Poisoned. Jerry, they might try and poison you. That's why I would never go to Chicago. They'll try and poison your. Don't kill me if I go there. They will. No, they will. They will. You did overreact to Justin Fields.

I didn't. Oh, he's a total baby. I did not. Total baby. I think you overreacted a little bit. A little bit. You're an adult autograph seeker. Adult autograph seeker.

That's what I just said. Wow. Wow. Real nice. I just said. Wow. Wow. Real nice. I don't think that about you. I don't think that about you, Jerry. What part of that is wrong? You're an adult, and you do seek autographs.

Yeah. Okay, but I mean, the way you said it was kind of like. No, that's how you interpreted it. Whatever, dude. I don't think you're an adult autograph seeker, dude. Devontae Smith was an amazing fellow. Thank you, dude. Amazing. Thank you. And that's why the Eagles and Steelers adult autograph seeker, dude. Devontae Smith was an amazing fella. Thank you, dude. Amazing.

Thank you. And that's why the Eagles and Steelers, the Eagles will always have this real nice. But 2010, so I was off for four years. Was an ant blinded? Yeah, he was poisoned. But I think it was his friends or something. He said it was a- Mercury?

Said it was a Bears fan, but then afterwards, I don't care what- I guess my buddy got into an altercation. They offered a drink as a peacemaker for what I understand. Were they trying to fuck him? Oh, I just love the idea of poisoning someone. You got caught? You don't see that very often. Art stopped four times.

Dude, that's, remember the- Jesus Christ. What the fuck did they put in his drink? Didn't Kim Jong-un have an assassin spit poison at one of his relatives? Oh, yeah, like his brother or something, right? Poisoning should happen more often. Oh, yeah. It's a great way to kill someone. I think there's a chance that

we're poisoning Putin right now. Really? He's getting sick because we're poisoning him. I don't know, but that would be a good way to get him. It's an easy man to reach. Especially if you're a spy. If you're a spy, you want to keep up appearances. You just slightly poison someone over time. But Jerry, you guys owe them a poisoning.

My dad was almost poisoned. What? Okay, tell that story. So I don't really want to get into too much detail, but during like the Zimbabwean liberation struggle, he was very active within the Zimbabwe liberation struggle. My parents actually had to leave. They had to leave the country.

Had my brother. My brother was born in Guyana. Whoa. Because they had to, got a little dicey and all. And so he almost died? Yeah. So his friend was actually, his friend was poisoned. He was able to live for an extra, I think it was like 10 or 15 years.

Well, that's not bad. Did the poison still get him? It's slow. Yeah. So he died because of that. So it's a slow, it causes health problems. Oh, that's diabolical. It's slow and all that. Yeah, so he died because of that. So it's a slow, it causes health problems. It's slow and all that.

So maybe poisoning's not funny. The best part of the niche internet thing, though, is that if you Twitter search Steelers fan poison, the first thing that comes up is a big cat tweet from 2013. Whoops. Real nice. It was a joke. Throw a like on that thing Well

What do you want me to say? First It was a joke You can't You can't You can't poison a guy as a prank? No Okay

Well now I know where the line is That's good to know That's That information Kind of fucked up You know what that is, Sass? Imagine getting Comedy dying

Yeah, imagine getting poisoned And not They're like, all right, you've got 15 years. Definitely change a lot in your life. I probably wasn't going to have 15 years anyway. Yeah, poisoning might save you. Extend me a little bit. Are we all poisoning ourselves every day with what we eat?

Yes, we are. Rico's here. What's up, Rico? Jerry said, come on. Yeah, I don't know why he said that, but you're here. You said that. No, I didn't say that. He definitely didn't say that.

Rico's not good on this show. Rico, we had some great memories early on in the quarantine. Stop, Dan. You bring in salad. Yeah. You haven't brought the salad in a while. Yeah, salad's like crack. Great salad.

You ever had salad? Jerry, no offense. Yeah, that was a nice cheap shot. No, that wasn't. We always said it was like crack before you even came here. You're making fun of me. All right, no offense. Yeah, that was a nice cheap shot. No, that wasn't We always said it was like crack before you even came here. You're making fun of me. Alright, this is... Oh, no, that's not confrontational. I said it before

I knew you. Yes. It's serious. See? Pressing that they put it in. Rico would give us a salad like it's like crack. Now I'm not going to say that anymore. Yeah, out of respect. I'm just going to say You should probably not eat the salad. Like Molly. Out of... Sounds like acid. I think Molly was my favorite drug of all time. Really Molly. Out of... Sounds like acid. I think Molly was my favorite drug of all time.

Really? I only did it for two weeks. The best one. I've never taken one. Two weeks is a long time. It's straight every day. That's not like a little bit of Molly. I know, but I only did it for...

Did you get the pacifier? No. Remember the true life with the dad who was addicted to Molly and he walked around with a pacifier? I've seen that. I'm that picture it's my roommate in college my roommate in college did molly for three months every single day if i was gonna take one i would take it i'd take that and go to fucking pasha for like six hours you'd probably you'd

you'd take molly and you'd still want to fight everyone it's great though pretty sure you're only supposed to do it like once every like three months if you're gonna do it well i think you're not supposed to do it yeah but i think it fucks with your like dopamine 100 because the day after, I can't believe you did it for multiple days straight. Because the day after, I feel as low as I've ever felt. I didn't eat at all. I didn't drink anything. I was so depressed. Well, it sounds great.

Okay, so don't do Molly, kids. Yeah, definitely. Or do it. Poisoning. In moderation. Just a taste here and there. You know what I mean? Everything in moderation.

Yeah, look at that. Would you put it in your water room? In the water? In the Mali water? Well, it gets you fucking dehydrated. You just want to crush water. You just want to drink a ton of water at all times. That was the thing back in the 90s.

The New York City clubs were charging like $11, $12 for a bottle of water because they weren't clearing up on alcohol. Drinks. Yeah, nobody wants to buy a beer. Yeah, it's crazy. You just have to crush water or like chew on something. People are just like fucking gnawing on something. Likeinks, yeah. Nobody wants to buy a beer. Yeah, it's crazy. You just have to crush water or like chew on something. People are just like fucking gnawing on something.

Like someone's face. I'm surprised you've never taken like ecstasy or molly or any of that. Rico? Drug free. You're a big club guy, that's why. I know, drug free.

That's great. Literally. That is great. I'm on the podcast. Dude, you gotta get the dude from The Bachelor on. Who? The dude, Zach,

who was The Bachelor. Sober. I didn't see, no. Oh yeah, he's actually from The Bachelor on. Who? The dude, Zach, who was The Bachelor. Sober. I didn't see. No. Oh, yeah. He's actually a super cool guy. Really? Yeah.

We met him at a Chicks in the Office live show. He's a nice guy. That'd be cool. Yeah. Eagles fan. He's been sober for a while, and he was The Bachelor. I think he runs some sort of counseling team or something. Right?

That'd be cool. What's going on here? What is going on here? I don't know. That is Juliana Pena, UFC women's champion. Yeah, that's her. Wow. A lovely dress.

A beautiful dress, yeah. The dress is just, it's just a nice dress. Look at those feet. Look at your ass. Look at those feet. I sat next to meatball. Jerry down, Jerry. Oh, Jerry.

Down. Sat next to meatball Molly on Saturday night at MSG. She just throws elbows around. Yeah, that's not surprising because I didn't see her at my show. Yeah. She just fights all the time. You know,'s not surprising because I didn't see her at my show. Yeah. She just fights all the time. You know, I was like, I'm rooting for Serrano,

and she just fucking chucked an elbow in my chest. She's like Hezbollah. Yeah. She'll just come and, like, punch you in the stomach or some shit like that. Like a 12-year-old in school that you're friends with? Yeah. They just can't stop putting each other in headlocks. Were you looking in the audience to try to find me, Molly? Big time.

Where's Molly? Molly, come on up. Yeah, I felt like I was looking for my dad at a school play. And he just didn't show up. He was in the background on a business call. Wait, wasn't there a reporter, like a basketball reporter, who was like, skip my daughter's soccer game for this. It was about the Celtics game this past weekend.

He's like, it's not happening again. What? Did you see that? I saw somebody at the Wolves thing walking in with a sign that said, like, skip the prom for this playoff game or something. Yeah, that's crazy. Game six? Yeah, that's a little.

First round? That's tough. It was game one that this dude, he was bragging about, not bragging, but he was like, I skipped my daughter's soccer game. It won't happen again. That was a mistake. I knew I regretted it. Only because they lost? Yeah, because it was like poor effort, I think.

I think he didn't like the effort. If it goes 108-104 in overtime, he's okay missing his daughter's soccer division. Yeah, that's an instant classic. Nice. Oh, Jerry. I'm not seeing that. Oh, boy. He's talking about whatever we were talking about.

Guy skipping this slacker game. Rico, would you say Jerry's an adult autograph seeker? Watch what you say. Watch what you say, honestly, Rico. I mean, if the opportunity's there, like, you ask for it. Yeah, it's not like he's out. He's not chasing people down the street. Wait, wait, wait.

You literally went to an event where you could get autographs and pictures of these guys, right? Yes. You were seeking the autographs. When Jerry had his kid, he looked at me. I was like, congrats, Jerry. He's like, it was a great moment. The best part is I'm going to be able to get a lot of autographs using this kid. Has there ever been an adult autograph seeker who's like, I need to have a child. Yes. So that they can go get me autographs.

I think they've hired out kids before. Yeah. I think pictures are the new autograph, though. Well, yeah. Guess who took a picture with him? Justin Fields. Fair. That's what Stan is about, right?

Isn't the guy in Stan? Yeah. He goes and he says his brother wants the autograph. Six hours in the blistering cold. He just said no. It's fucked. But what about people who meet someone outside of their place of work with a stack of like 10 things?

Yeah, that's a bit much. That's a lot. So where do you go? That's an asshole move. What's your line? They're just selling that. Dude, it was just so nonchalant. I was like, hey, Justin, would you mind a quick picture maybe?

Well, I'm just saying in general, the field situation aside, do you get multiple things signed? No, never multiple. What's your intent with it? Sell? To hold? To have a bunch of them to sell? Just a memory. Just to hold. You know, I'm going to keep that

Dion jersey he gave me forever. Pat Fryermuth gave me an autographed helmet to Jersey Jerry. It's not like you can even sell that. No, Herbert. I would never sell Herbert's. I would like to collect memorabilia because it is cool. You know what type of guy I am, Rowan?

I'm going to show you what type of guy. I'm going to show you what type of guy Jersey Jerry is. My buddy Behavin. He's an Indian fellow. We worked together at the utility company. Behavin? Behavin. That's the guy who had the heart attack.

You miss Behavin? The guy that had the heart attack. Are you going to say what type of guy I am? Well, first we'll get to me. Okay. You know what I did with the Nick Bosa jersey? What? You didn't give it to Behavin.

You know what I did? You didn't give it to Behavin. I bet you gave it to Behavin. You gave it to Behavin? It'd be a plot twist. Oh, you gave it to Behavin. Yo know what I did? You didn't give it to Behavin. I bet you gave it to Behavin. You gave it to Behavin? It'd be a plot twist. Oh, you gave it to Behavin. Yo. What's that picture? Is that a dog in a jersey? You got a dog in a...

His dog's name is Bosa. Bosa. Bosa. Nick Bosa. Yeah, I figured that. That's kind of ironic that it's... Nick Bosa gave me an autographed jersey. Autographed jersey Nick Bosa gave me and I gave it to my buddy. Nice. That's love. Basically, I brought Behavin back to life.

Pretty much, yeah. He had a heart attack, and I reached out to Dan. I was like, hey, Dan, it would mean a lot if I know you're friends with Kittle. If you can maybe have Kittle make a little video for him. He's down in the dumps right now. Wasn't that the Packers game too when they won? Was Behavin an adult? I don't know.

You did advisors? Don't I remember that? I don't know. You did advisors? Don't I remember that? I don't know. Maybe. Behavin might be an adult. I remember you being like, my boy's not doing great. He was using Jerry. Yes, yes, it was.

He was using a heart attack. It was. Yes, it was. Signs. You think Behavin faked his heart attack to get better autographs? No, dude. He's almost dead. Oh, Jesus.

Is he almost dead now? No, he's great now. Oh, okay. He's got like a Bluetooth thing in his chest. What is it? Hook up to like a... No, it's great now. Oh, okay. He's got like a Bluetooth thing in his chest. What is it? Hook up to like a... Your Bose? Imagine having a Bose hooked up to your chest. And you can like make

your heart beat to the music. He's got an app on his phone and everything. It's crazy. Pacemaker. I think it's different than a pacemaker. It's a Bluetooth. Wireless. I don't know what it is. A pacemaker that has Bluetooth. What'd you do with your Bluetooth? I like that look.

Jerry Rock, one day he walked in and he had a Bluetooth in his ear. I wear it in the car. It's a classy move. Guys who have Bluetooth in their ear, at this point in technology history, they just mean business. It's like people with BlackBerrys. It's free. Well, you don't really need Bluetooth anymore.

You can just wear AirPods. No, but this looks cool. And I think if you're driving in some states, they prefer you to have Bluetooth. You can't be like on your phone and shit. And you also get to do this. You like click it. Yeah. Just banging on somebody.

Bang. Yeah. You got to start wearing it again. I wear it in the car. Do you? Yeah. You bang on people? Yeah.

But in Jersey, isn't it? Like, if you're, like, on your phone, it's like a worse find in Jersey. Everywhere. I mean, everywhere, but Jersey's bad. Really? Jersey's got to get you. That's some bullshit. Brennan loves Jersey.

I've got to get out of Jersey. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Me too, brother. You're going to get out of Jersey, Jerry? Yeah, it just depends, you know? It all depends on what you're saying. Will you change your name?

Huh? Will you change your name? I don't think I ever would. I mean, I've attempted to change my name before. It didn't work out, though. What? Juan Damien, Nebraska. What?

Juan Damien, Nebraska? I can see where that wouldn't work out. So what's that about? I think it would, though. Juan Damien? I don't know, man. How do you spell it? Where did you get Juan Damien? So it's

J-U-A-N and then Damien. It's one name. Juan Damien. Oh, Juan. Okay. Juan and then Damien. You thought it was Juan Damien? By Nebraska. I don't know. It's like Robert, California. I don't know if I got it. It's like Juan Dale Robert. I kind of like Juan Damien, Nebraska. It's really good. What, dude? It's like

John Raffia. It's like a male stripper name or some shit like that. Or like a guy on the challenge or something like that. But you just can't go from Jersey Jerry to Juan Damien overnight. I like Juan Damien. I'm starting to grow on this. Juan Damien, Nebraska. I like it right away. It's not a fair name.

I got to find it. There it is. Juan Damien, Nebraska. Yeah, that looks good. If you're like, hey, this is my boy Juan Damien. That's good. That's real good. I don't think I ever heard of those two names put together,

much less with Nebraska. Surprisingly flow together very nice. That's why it works. I'm telling you, it's good. That's amazing. That's like my, I actually want to start playing MLB the show. Is MLB the show on Xbox now? Yeah.

I want to start playing it. I want to bring backB The Show on Xbox now? Yeah. I want to start playing it. I want to bring back. I have a pitcher named Goose Ravenscroft. I want to start pitching again. Damn, one of my boys' last name is Ravenscroft. Really? Yeah. Henry.

Henry Ravenscroft. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. He's got a pilot name from 1910. Did you see that the Packers drafted a guy named Zach Tom? Yes, the center from Wake Forest. Yes. Yeah, dude.

And then the Bears drafted a guy named Zachary Thomas. Dude, did you see the dude from Navy who's on the Ravens now? No. Well, his name is spelled F-A-G-O-T. Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember Fago is how you actually say it. Fago. I remember the Army-Navy game.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Giggleworth. I was giggling. And they were very, very they were definitely pronouncing it Fagot. They have to. I imagine that's probably why he went into the military. Yeah, that's true. Don't ask, don't tell.

It's a boy named Sue. It's like I have, the reason why I'm an NFL player and graduated from the Naval Academy is because my last name is Fago. It definitely made him a tough son of a bitch. Yeah. He is all that as man. But the Steelers.

It's going to grow on you. Dude, Juan Damien could have like a. It's a scent. It's a scent. It might also be like a Mexican restaurant at an airport. Airport Mexican restaurant. Juan Damien's. Damien's, yeah.

Yeah, let me go get a quesadilla from Juan Damien. It's only like two airports. I can't wait to go to Denver because I got Juan Damien. I think it's an E-N. It's an E-N. E-N?

Yeah. Spell it right. Spell it right. Spell this fake way. I like the A better. I still don't understand the Nebraska part. I'm trying to find the video.

I think it explains it in the video. How long did you give this a try? Because I think now. A couple days. Yeah, I think it's going to happen. I think you're going to go back to the A. Did you just watch The Scout? What's The Scout?

That's the main character. Steve Nebraska. Steve Nebraska. No, I've never seen that. Through 100 and whatever miles an hour. I don't think I've seen that. I don't know. I knew it was a perfect game.

One Damien Nebraska. Oh, here it is. A don't think I've seen that. I don't know. I knew it was a perfect game. Juan Damian, Nebraska. Oh, here it is. A lot of people asking me who's... Send it to TJ. Send it to TJ. I don't think I got his number. Send it to me. I'll send it to him.

DM me on Twitter. Or the act on Twitter. Oh, okay. I could do that. Yeah. I think the video's a little rough, though. I don't know if I want this out, but whatever. Watch it first.

TJ, watch it and make sure that we're not putting anything bad out there. It was always one A. Did you get a 10? Yeah, all right. Is there any cock in this? No. All right, I'm sending it. Was he in the shower?

Is that your water runner? Yeah. Dude, I think this plays. Well, Damien Nebraska is in control. I'd like to, on Team Rico here, I like this plays. Juan Damien, Nebraska. And I'd like to, on Team Rico here, I like the A better than the E. Really? It's not your choice, though. I know, but I vote.

It's Juan Damien's choice. Traditional Damien spelling, I believe, is A. Really? Yeah. I thought it would be an I. I think Damien with an A sounds more diabolical, though. It's like you're from hell. Juan Damien.

Juan Damien, like the female version. I miss KB and Nick. I texted them this weekend. They were in Madison. Oh, yeah. You go to KK? I don't understand what Glennie is doing on this tour. Because he's not on the show.

He's not on the show. Just a high-new spokesman. Yeah, just a high-new spokesman because I just got a bunch of DMs Saturday night with pictures of Glennie. Yeah. I was getting that too. Yeah. Why send it to me?

I don't know. You're a college kid. Am I going to frame it? Yeah. Sign it? That's awesome. Give it to Jerry? Yeah.

Full circle. People were sending me pictures with like KB. I mean, that's cool. Yeah, I guess. It's like, hey, you know this guy. I just met this guy. Yeah, I guess. It's a very cool thing.

My fucking sister's on the trip, and she's messaging me every night with pictures just partying with people. And every night, she sends me like eight. And last night, the last one was White Sox Davis turned my phone off. Yeah, I saw some beef. Uh-oh. I smell some love. I saw beef squashing on that trip.

Is there beef squashing? That's great. Who's squashing beef? Who did your sister have beef with? Oh, with Hannah Cook. Oh, yeah, but I saw love. White Sox Dave. Who's that?

Caitlin Walker. I thought that's who we met. Caitlin and Hannah took a nice picture together. Beef squashing. White Sox Dave. Who's that? Caitlin Walker. I thought that's what we meant by beef squashing. Caitlin and Hannah took a nice picture together. Beef squashing. White Sox Dave, Caitlin Walker, save the date. May 24th, 2028. There's a baby boy right there. There's Nick who's asleep.

There's Marty Mush. That's all she does. See the White Sox Dave. I got to talk about something real quick that's very troubling that I need to just say out loud. Oh, Dan, He's really smiling. He's very happy. They both are. Looks like post-coitus.

You can see the happiness in their eyes. And then they come back. I didn't think his hairline was that bad. I think the end is on Saturday. Oh, nice. Guys, I walked into the bathroom today. Uh-oh. Do you know what I'm going to say, Zaha?

No, but I'm very intrigued by the bathroom talk. There was an actual literal shit on the toilet seat. Oh, God. That's crazy. Is that why it's out of order? Who the fuck did that? Was it a gag shit? It was a fake shit.

Is it out of order right now? Yeah, it says out of order. Rico, go look. Go look. Take a picture. Yeah it out of order right now? Yeah, it says out of order. Rico, go look. Go look. Take a picture. Yeah, yeah, that one. Go take a picture if you see it. This is savage stuff.

Is it for a prank in that bathroom? Go look. Go look. Like for lowering the bar or some shit like that? Does that mean the shit's still there? I don't know. It might be. Go look, Rico, and then come back and report.

Report. I just went to go to the bathroom there. It couldn't go in. Just report. I want someone else to see it. What a day to go to the bathroom there. I couldn't go in. Just report. I want someone else to see it. What a day to be a swirly. Everybody should have to look.

Spin the wheel. We got to spin the wheel. Can we play this one Damien video? He's not excited about going over there. He might not come back. Jerry, the Steelers got some good position players, though. You know what I mean? Their wide receiver core has always been deep. It's like they value the fourth wide receiver as much as anybody in the league.

And they're one of the best. Oh, no. Oh, no. Still there? Oh, no. Take a picture? There's so much disdain here. Is it bad?

Is it still there? It has to still be there. Is it still there? It's still there? Yeah. The best way to describe it Is like if somebody Took a booger Out of their asshole

And flicked it Onto the fucking It's the gross I had to tell you guys Dude it's so savage Who the fuck does that Who uses that bathroom Everyone

Run the tape You need to know Who did that I've never used That bathroom tape. I need to know who did that. I've never used that bathroom before. Oh, it's got to be. We got to figure out who did it. We got to figure out who did it. Sass, take a picture.

Oh, God. Don't take a picture. That's wild. That's so bad. That's so bad. Now we got to show everyone on YouTube. We have to. No, we can't.

No, the people. Oh, no, no. I guarantee you right now the people on YouTube are like, you've got to at least show it. They have to. We've got to get someone to draw it. Who's the best drawer in the office? It's not here.

It's so bad. I told you the description. Was that description not correct? It's like a piece of sausage. It's like a fennel sausage or something like that. That's kind of smeared out. It's like a fennel sausage or something like that that's kind of smeared out. It's like a chunked up sausage. Fast isn't doing well either.

That was a weird text. Nick Mangold? What did Nick Mangold text you? No, he's like, it's Nick Mangold. Good time to call. It doesn't really smell bad in there either.

It looks like a tail. Did you take a picture? Send it to TJ. Oh, God. You're going to get banned. I'm afraid we're going to get banned too. I don't... I'll be a judge.

You be the judge of that. TJ's got a good... I trust TJ. Now I'm zooming in more. Why are you zooming in? Because the picture I took was very far away because You be the judge of that. TJ's got a good, I trust TJ. Or it's also he's the fallback. Now I'm zooming in more. Why are you zooming in? Because the picture I took was very far away because Ebony was yelling at me to not go in the bathroom. It was always Juan D. He likes me every time.

You've got to play the video, TJ. Juan D. There it is. A lot of people asking me, who's Juan Damien Nebraska? I'm Juan Damien Nebraska. It was always Juan Damien Nebraska. Yeah. That's it?

When did you take that? I don't remember. Like two years ago, maybe? A year and a half ago? Interesting cat, dude. I like it. I think it plays. It's good.

I don't think anybody's ever combined those words before. It's like a completely unique moment in human existence. Yeah. Fucking sick. This turd is really bothering me. It's kind of ruined my day, I'm not going to lie. Who did that? I don't know.

JDN. What the fuck? What kind of pig does that? That should be a fireball offense. We should pull the tapes. Shitting on the fucking toilet seat. I bet we could figure it out. We could do an investigation.

There's a camera right there. I'm going to get ahead of it. I took a shit in there this morning. What time did you get here? I walked. There was no shit on the toilet when I left. I went to try to take a shit at 1245. There couldn't have been more than five shits in there.

That was not me because we were recording. Can we get the tapes? Can we get Pete? If it was Maddie? If we get the tapes. I want it. What if it was a chick? If it was Maddie?

No. We'll literally ruin someone's career, though, if they find out that they did it. They kind of deserve it. They do. Because that is like beyond. What, were they not potty trained? That's not okay. You don't walk out of that.

You scoop that shit up yourself. We'll ruin their career. Oh, there it is. Stop, change. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

That's it. That's a shit on the toilet. If you zoom in, it's a better angle if you zoom in. People can zoom in, screenshot it on their own, and zoom in on their own. It doesn't, it looks like, yeah, I mean, it's shit. That's the lobby bathroom, man. That's where our guests go. Goddamn, the woman. Well, yeah, now they're going to have. That's the lobby bathroom, man. That's where guests go. Yeah, goddamn the woman.

Well, yeah, now they're going to have to have the fucking cleaning people do that? I don't want to do that. I don't want to get crazy, but we did have guests. I mean, did the guests do that? No, no. I want to ruin their career. I want to ruin their career. Taffer did it.

It could have been Taffer. I want to ruin the person's career. I'm not saying names. Who are you calling? Pete. Pete. You're on the yak. Was it biz?

Pete, we need the tapes. You know the deal. What's that mean? What's the deal? Someone left a shit on the toilet seat, and we need to figure out who it was. Hey, that's... That's crusty. Yeah.

That's fireable. B? What do I always ask for? Don't just say we need the tapes. There's a million tapes. Lobby tape between 9.30 and 12. The tape that... 9.30 and 12.45, lobby tape.

That faces the bathroom in the lobby next to the big Duncan Awards across from Erica's office. Oh, the big Duncan Awards. Across from Erica's office. Oh, the accessible. Yes. Yes. What if it was a handicapped person? I would still be mad if it was a handicapped person. I would too. Tell someone.

So what was the times? 9.30. What time did you take a shit, Seth? Me? Yeah. Probably like 9.30. 9.30 to 12.45 morning this morning this morning into this afternoon i mean it wasn't me no but you're a times oh we know it wasn't there when you were

there i saw it at 12 45 you unless it was you honestly i'm not ready to fucking rule you out i'm calling for this person to be fired nobody this might be your way out. In that time frame. If it was only Sass. If I had to guess it. What? I think we can close this case. Oh, no. Oh, Sass, you mean?

Yeah, it seems pretty obvious. All right, can you just find it for us? Okay. Thank you. I think it happens. Oh, no, she's about to go in. I think it happens sometime in the 12 o'clock. Oh, that's so bad.

That's not right. I would rather go clean it than that one. I feel like. Do it. Then do it, Brandon, she's about to go in. I think it happens sometime in the 12 o'clock. Oh, that's so bad. That's not great. I would rather go clean it than that one. I feel like. Do it. Then do it, Brandon. I'll clean it for her. I'll go clean that motherfucker up. Do it.

Jerry was here. Tell her not to go in. Tell her not to go in. Does any of you go clean it right now? No, we should tell her not to go in until we figure out who did it. Nico's being very quiet. I haven't eaten and I haven't unloaded yet. I'll be honest.

Find me going into a bathroom. Are you unloaded? I don't shit here. I think it happens sometimes. How would the shit, where it is, that's not an area where the shit could possibly land. I had to guess. It happened sometime in the noon

hour because when I went to walk in there, I got I was disgusted visibly. Ebony goes, is there a shit on that toilet? I was like, yes. She's like, what the fuck? Well, how did she? I don't know.

She probably saw other people react. Well, let's get Ebony in here. I think Ebony's a suspect. We don't want to. Yeah, what if it's a woman? Yeah. If it's a woman, we can't. None of the girls shit in there.

You don't know that. Girls don't shit. I do. I sit here all day. None of them go in there. So juicy, Zah. I was actually a little bit late today. So I wasn't.

Oh, and Zah conveniently has an alibi. Yeah. All right. Who can we confirm shit's in there? Big T shit's in there all the time. I shit in there like five times a day. I'm getting in front of it because I'm innocent. I'm regular right now.

So my shit's happening in the morning at home. Yeah, I shit at home. I haven't pooped here today. I didn't show up until 12 o'clock today. Sass, is there a chance... That was the first one in. ...that you farted when you stood up or something like that? Uh-huh.

I actually do remember... No, because I actually do remember I had to use a lot of toilet paper. Oh, interesting. And I remember washing my hands and looking down at the seat to make sure it was flushing. I would have seen if there was a massive turd on the toilet seat all right we gotta stop talking about we gotta that's what i mean you wanted to show it i know we gotta find out who it is it was your topic dude dude i know because it was it was like a burden weighing down

on me i needed to share it with the world so everyone had my pain did anyone else i'm not i'm just one man i'm not jesus. Did anyone else's parents make them? When you were like little kids and you talk about thoughts and shit and things like that, your parents would be like, if you want to talk like that about bathroom talk, go in the bathroom. You have friends over and you go in there and just scream fart louder. It lasts like 30 seconds. The next day you'd be like, oh, that's pretty stupid.

You ever get soap in your mouth? I got soap in my mouth a couple times. Actually, I might have. My grandmother did. Bar soap. Yeah. I beat the shit out of her. What'd you say?

Fuck. That was the word that got it? Yeah. I said a slur. You did? Which one? The one who's 17. What's your favorite one?

This was like last week. What are you, Matt Damon? Dukes made me put soap in my mouth. I didn't know it was bad I was just dropping F-bombs at dinner and my daughter said don't do that

I didn't know how are you gonna pay rats and then like the next week he tweets out and he's like I've never said that word alright let's spin the wheel wait are we gonna get

these tapes yeah I know we are it's three hours of tapes. Pete's pulling it. Someone's career in life is going to be ruined today. How long does it take Pete to get those tapes? Five days. I don't know.

He's the worst. Not a fast worker. No. We should do a behind scene. We should do the video behind the scenes and then like... Reveal it? Yeah, because like once that gets revealed, that will be your like. No one's going to confess to it though. But we'll be able to figure it out.

Juan Damien Nebraska. It'll be your name. You'll be in the lineup. We'll be able to figure it out. If there's four people. You can put people into the lineup. And that's pretty bad to be in the lineup. You can figure it out because it's the last person to go in there Like before I look

You're not gonna lie It could be you I mean it's not but sure Why would I willingly open that up to discussion You're right To frame myself You're just married to the content You should get a polygraph

The fucking camera Yeah just I was like Alright I'm kind of running out of content What if I just shit on the toilet? One last round. Have a good old-fashioned whodunit on the act. Whodunit. It's like playing Clue right now.

One last gift to the New York office. Yeah. Be moved into Chicago by Friday. You'll be fine. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and clearly no one sat on top of it. Right, so that's my point. Yeah, but it does look like it was dragged.

But if you see me, I had the normal reaction. I opened the door, saw it, and turned right around. So whoever last went in and spent time in there before my reaction is the one who did it. Here's something else. It's probably someone who is a stand-er-up or wiper. Yeah, Stephen Che.

He's not here right now, is he? I'm going to hightail it out of here tomorrow, I don't think. Like Carl Lewis. Like Carl Lewis. He's a runner. Hightailed it out of here. Like Carl Lewis. Carl Lewis.

Carl Lewis, the one runner that I know. The most relevant runner. You getting nervous, Jerry? Yeah, I'll check your email. Trying to get a little Juan Damien? Oh, and it's weird because that's funny. Jerry wanted to change his name today. Maybe get the stink off of you.

Here comes the cleaning lady. Jersey Jerry shits on toilets. Juan Damien doesn't. It's great. It's good. Yeah, that's very good. I've never taken a shit here once. Ever?

Nope. That's impressive. Do you have anxiety about it? Yeah, I don't shit and let's it's home. I, that's very good. I've never taken a shit here once. Ever? Nope. That's impressive. Do you have anxiety about it? Yeah, I don't shit and let's home. I'll Uber out of here. I've Ubered out of here before at 1 o'clock. How do you make it? Just hold it.

You can make it for 40 minutes with a bullet in the chamber. I don't last 500 minutes. I shit in here all the time. Dude, I tell the story all the time. We were at track practice in a bad neighborhood when I was like 12. What's a bad neighborhood mean? A bad neighborhood of Staten Island. They lock it because, I mean, you know, people were doing drugs in the bathroom.

Oh, yeah, you got it. That's what you say. They lock the bathroom. I had a bullet in the chamber. I wasn't going to make it. I shit in my minivan in a shoebox. Yeah. A shoebox?

I've shat in, like, the woods. Shat. I got it. It was a hot day, so, like've shat in like the woods. Shat. I got. I got. It was a hot day. So like the stench was still kind of in there. I got food poisoning. You know.

I was golfing one time and I shit in the woods like six times. Oh shit. I shit in a wipe with a golf cart. Oh. One of the last times. Colin Jost. I was. I had food.

I ended up having food poisoning for like 10 weeks. He told that story on Stern. He shit his pants in the woods. Really? One of the last times I shit my pants Was actually because of you Rico It was because of you Yeah I haven't heard this part of the story I do know about you taking a picture with the guy

No that was a different time I shit my pants probably once a year But I've been pretty good It was probably like two or three times ago I was in the car I was going to get a haircut And it was the day that Heaven revealed the DM's of the dude who did stand up, who kept on asking for a job.

And everyone said it was Rico. And Rico lost it. He's like, it's not me. It's not me. It's not me. And I was laughing so hard because you're such a crazy person. I shit my pants at a stoplight. And then I had to go to the haircut

and I had to go to the bathroom, throw out my underwear, and then get the haircut. Wow. You were laughing... So hard. You were just laughing alone in the car at the stoplight? I mean, dude, it was...

I wish... I don't know if we still have the tweets, but it was so funny. It was some guy who basically was asking for a job. That was my old account. Sending his stand-up to everyone at Barstool and then, like, in a very Danny Boy Kane-esque thing where, like, KFC and Nate were just like, yeah, that's Rico. And Rico's like, it's not me.

It's not. They were joking. But Rico doesn't know how to joke. I demanded an apology. I was when I was still trying to get in. You know? Like, I was. It was, by the way, the account was like, we saw the guy's face.

It was not Rico. But, like, they just kept on being like, was like it was by the way the account was like we saw the guy's face it was not rico but like they just kept on being like yeah it's rico he's asking for a job and you were just on the way to that yeah i can't even imagine just what it is yeah that guy the rico bosco tape yeah and then kevin's fucking the guy says some pretty offensive shit kevin's fucking uh thing is deleted he can't delete his youtube it's like banned banned or something. He can't get this video off the fucking internet. This guy sent all of us his stand-up constantly. Then he showed up to fucking Barstool Idol. You remember that part of the story? Yeah, that's true.

I like that he can search for Barstool Idol. That's what comes up. Barstool got a higher big tone. Enough's enough now. I saw that steak video he put out Good video He really likes to season up that steak

Yeah, salt steaks Yeah, fuck Milk steak Use some Montreal on there I love that guy But I mean That might be the most love That I've ever loved a guy

Is big tone He's your favorite guy? Yeah How are you feeling about him? More than Ben Roethlisberger? Bone? Coming around Coming around?

Thought he was a lot, but... I mean, you. You just said he'd be a good fit for the company. It goes like, this guy keeps tweeting it all. Everyone who works here, it's a lot. But it works. Who are you? It works.

He's got to find his way. He's got to get in. I waited until there was an appropriate voicemail line, and I did it. And then after the fact, I only started speaking up when I got my voicemail played. Anyone who grinds independently. Yes. Deserves a way in. Not a way in, but deserves respect.

I heard he's picking out fucking houses in Holma Glen. Big tone. I think Dan's taking them. Holma Glen, Illinois. Illinois. Illinois. you wouldn't know. I'm going to Naperville. He's already set. He had a nice cul-de-sac.

I closed on my house yesterday. Good for you, Brandon. Thank you. Brandon does it all. So you're going to have a house in Mississippi and Chicago? A penthouse in New York. You paid $4 million a year. I'm also probably going to keep a place here.

$4 million a year. You've got a boom-boom room in New York. We paid $4 million a year. I'm also probably going to keep a place here. $4 million a year. You got a boom boom room in New York. You and Nick have your place too, so there's two spots in New York. That's the loft. That's the flop house. For when you get too fucked up on the weekends. Gotta find out who did this. I know.

Can we get those tapes? I'm worried. I'm worried about the tapes. Wait, what? What are you worried about? I'm worried about the tapes. Wait, what? What are you worried about? I'm worried about the tapes because they're going to ruin someone's life. Have you shit today? Yeah, I shit multiple times. Did you shit in the normal bathroom?

Yeah. Man of the people. I don't have any idea about it. You're a home team shitter. You don't go on the road for your shits. I mean, I don't... Well, I mean, I used to prefer to shit at home. But now I don't mind.

My bathroom is so small that I try and wait to shit until I get here. For stoolies wearing barstool? My knees press up against the wall. Never does that. That doesn't make sense. What's wrong with you? Our bathroom is thin.

Yeah, no, your bathroom's terrible. Our bathroom's thin and the toilet faces the wall and I have to... Knees touch the wall? My knees are pressed up against the wall. Does it feel awesome having one less person there, though? Yeah. I'm sleeping in Owen's bed. Me? Nice. Where's Owen? Oh up against the wall. Does it feel awesome having one less person there, though? Yeah. Who's sleeping in Owen's bed? Me.

Nice. Where's Owen? Oh, on the trip. No, yeah, it feels like the apartment is a lot bigger. Everybody's getting shit-faced every day, and Owen's just out there sober on the road, chilling. Road dog. Being a warrior.

I've heard he's been doing a bunch of Molly. Yeah. It's like that salad. The Molly's like that salad. Teach his own. Juan Damien like that salad. Teach his own. Juan Damien. Molly salad. Should we spin the wheel?

For what? I can't get wet today, but I'll have to. Do have the Chiclets boys here today. Why is Jeff Bassin roasting Meek Phil? I can't see all of it. Speak for yourself Mike You called him a micro penis Oh wow

Oh Team Jeff on that one Oh Well you've been out on that guy Since day one He's out on everybody on day one That's not true Damn

That's a lot of retweets And quote tweets I was in on Jerry We should probably do one You are I'll give you that You were part of one of the best episodes Micro Phil That's what his name is now Huh Micro Phil Huh We should probably do one. You are. I'll give you that. You were pulling one of the best episodes. Microfil.

That's what his name is now, huh? Microfil? Huh? Micromeet? Same time out episode, right? I think it might have been. These two are just having their own conversation. What am I wearing?

They are. White or floral? I forget. Fuck. Well, I got immunity from this, so I'm not worried. No, you don't. We got. First of all.

Whoa. Whoa. That hasn't happened yet. Hasn't happened yet. And it's not yours. It's not yours. It isn't yours. That should happen.

That hasn't happened yet. It does. It hasn't happened yet. Sass, are you guys above that, just playing Survivor as the Yak? That's your next? I hate it, but I do it. No, you just got to just go to an island for a weekend. You literally play the game of Survivor.

The day Sass doesn't complain about the wheel will be the day the show ends. I'm not complaining right now. You're keeping it together. No, I'm saying if you're like, hey, I'm down for this. Well, there's no point in complaining because we're not going to stop. It's a hanging wedgie? A hanging wedgie. How do you know who gets it?

You spin another wheel. You spin another one. That's crazy. Advance to the wheel. I didn't think I was going to do a swirl today. Spin it. Nick has immunity from that. I can't do wet. Yeah, spin another one. That's crazy. Advance to the wheel. I didn't think I was going to do a swirl today. Spin it. Nick has immunity from that. I can't do wet.

I can't do wet. Today I cannot do wet. Oh, my God. Food. Food. All right, all right, all right. Why can't you do wet today? I have to go to the sales meeting in 15 minutes.

Oh, good. You can bring up. I will talk after. Friend of? Juan Damien? Yeah, you may not. Can we get the way of the wheel? Look at the mics for a minute.

Seems like it's just a little slow up there. That's all. They're not doing much. What do you want me to say? Crack some heads? No, I just, you know, I got to. Find out who the earner's on. Put him in touch with Jerry.

Some projects that need a little more attention? No, not that. I don't care about that. I don't, you know, but some, you know, a lot of companies have been reaching out saying, like, you know, what's going on? We're trying to get, you know, sponsor your of companies have been reaching out saying like, you know, what's going on? We're trying to get, you know, sponsor your show. I don't. Who's reaching out to you?

Nike. I can't, I can't remember. Apple. Adidas. Eh, bigger than that. Bigger than Apple. Yeah. Amazon.

Walmart. Elemade. That would be hilarious if you just got an Amazon sponsor. Imagine that. If Jerry was like, if Jerry was like Wimbledon, all his sponsors were like Rolex. He's the premier. Golf tournament. Premier line.

That'd be so hilarious. I think it's legitimate. I could see it. Fidelity, Rolex. The funniest shit is how KB and Nick had an ad for Smartless. What's that? The podcast. Oh. They had an ad for Smartless. What's that? The podcast.

Oh. They had an ad for a comedy podcast on their podcast. Yikes. On a different network. Also, the podcast was that if you listen to Smartless, there's no ads on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually genius by them. It's an enormous idea. How do they make money?

Smartless? Yeah. They don't have ads. Slinging Molly. Right? Not a bad neighborhood. There's a lot of Molly going around in the neighborhood. I should do that. I should buy ads on everyone else's podcast.

For a podcast that doesn't exist. Remember when you were the voice of God for the Barstool podcast? What's up, guys? It's Big Cat. Oh, man. I got so many complaints. Every episode for months. Now they rotate through. Yeah, I told them,

I was like, you've got to take me off that. People are legitimately hating me, and all I did was, I did MB a favor once, and then I was on every podcast. And last I heard it, it was like,

hey, guys, Big Tone here. Like, you're listening. Big Tone, what's up? Hey, guys, what do you mean? It's not. No, I think we're far away from that. No, I don't think we are. What's up? Hey, guys. What do you mean? No, I think we're far away from that. What's up, guys? It's Stoolie Clubhouse. The Barstool merch is currently 15% off.

Would you sign up for the newsletter? That was like when we were doing the telephone thing and Tico's brother was answering the phones. Yes, all night. The whole night. Yeah, what's up? It's Tico's brother was answering the phones. Yes, all night. The whole night. Yeah, what's up? It's Tico's brother. Thanks for calling in. That's great.

Is Dave here? No. It's just me now. I'm in his office now. Oh, God. Where are we at on subs, by the way? I feel like we kind of... Oh, yeah, we got to get it going, guys.

I think people are saying, how about this? We get to 80,000 and we won't have Frank do edibles. Maybe that'll speed things up. Oh, you think that's... Everybody but Frank will do an edible. What were you at the first time when you were pushing to get the first time? It was like 72. I thought we were right there.

You guys got a million. We were at like 50 at the Super Bowl, so we gained about 25 in the last few months. Case race did a lot of business. We need to do another case race. When we get to 100... We do one. business. We need to do another case race. When we get to 100. We do one. At 100, we're doing a case race. And Jerry's doing Shirley Temple.

If you guys get a million. Oh, hey, if you need one month, Ethan, he's available. Oh, thank you. If you guys get a million, I'll relapse. Oh. All right. I know a lot of people. You heard that, folks. You heard that, You heard that everyone

Hit that sub button If you want to see Jerry out the wagon If you don't like Jerry He's going up You can take care of him Right now Let's go Jerry

That would be hilarious What would you do What would you do to relapse I'd have to relapse But I'm saying Which you know I'd smoke crack right away Yeah just to fucking

I don't When I relapse I don't fucking I don't fucking. I don't fuck around. Not some half-assed like sip of beer. No. Toke of weed bullshit. I'm homeless in like two days.

Oh, man. It was probably an incredible like force of nature as you were going that direction in life. Oh, yeah. We see the force of nature you are in here that direction in life. We see the force of nature you are in here. You know what I mean? If you were using that energy for a different purpose, it probably would snowball quickly.

They're just going to take this whole place over. The cleaning lady is coming out with a mop. It would be awesome if they just came out with the toilet. Just got a new one. This one's done. I really, do you think we should, I texted Pete, I don't think he's going to get the tapes downloaded fast enough.

This might be a two-day whodunit. I think we have to decide whether we do want to ruin someone's career. That's why we need to, I think we got to do it off camera. We should film it and do it off, and if it's good and it doesn't look like it's going to ruin someone, we should put it on the show. And if it's good and it doesn't look like it's going to ruin someone, we should put it on the show, and if it's like, trust us, we couldn't put it out. How about here? Here's an easy one.

What are we at, TJ? Oh, God. I mean, I want, give me 77, and we will reveal the person who done it. We'll do it tomorrow on air. 77? Again, we might ruin them. I was just going to tweet out, like, subscribe and we'll ruin someone's career. Okay, fair enough.

As long as we advertise it as that. Some people are untouchable. You seem very scared. Oh, I'm not scared. Talk to sales. Ask if you can get this sold. I have shit in the toilet many times. Today is not one of those times.

I'm just going to say this. I've shit in that toilet many times today. If it of those times I've shit in that toilet many times today If it was Dan Dak It's just no way that film hits the air What does that have to do with this? Don't bring your petty little thing We can't keep up with these Jesus Christ

I'd spike it Rico if it was you I'd spike it I wouldn't let you go down like that One liner for Dan You keep it loose. Okay, relax. Didn't I tell you? Yeah, because you're changing the vibe of the show.

There has been talk that there's a tropical storm brewing, and it could become a Category 5. Conditions are favorable for a year of meltdown. There's a high-pressure system blowing in. Having a good day. Mixing with the cold pressure. You having a good day? I was having a good day until you fucking threw me in the fucking traffic.

It's happening this week. I don't know. How about the lightning last night? Dude, the thunder woke me up. Yeah, I didn't go back to bed. That's why I got here so early. Straight up woke me up at 6 in the morning. Yeah.

This is really relatable to anyone who's watching. But it was every part of New York, though. There's probably 8 million people that got awakened by this fucking lightning crack. I was saying, I thought it was a terrorist attack. Oh, how sure. Our whole building was shaking. Yeah. Crazy.

I guess I'm far enough out. I don't, nothing. Or you just slept through it. Yeah, I slept through it. It was sunny. I woke me up just straight up out of a dead sleep. Yeah. Whoa.

I think I woke up lightly from the first one, and then the second one was when I was awake for. The first one was like. Was the craziest thing you ever slept through? Do you sleep through a lot of things like that? No, no, no. I wake up pretty easily to that. Fire alarm.

Schindler's List, I slept through that. Yeah? Yeah, it's fucked up. I was eight. I fell asleep. I was just watching the episode of Seinfeld where he goes with his girlfriend.

It's out. They make out. You were making out during Schindler's List. It is fucked. How could you? How could you fall asleep though?

I was on TV. Wasn't in the theater. Goes to a commercial. Who was it that fell asleep during 1917? Was that you or Caleb? Oh yeah. Caleb. It was Caleb. Yeah. He woke up Was that you or Caleb? Oh, yeah, Caleb.

It was Caleb, yeah. He woke up and I was crying. Non-stop action, yeah, yeah. Non-stop action. I gave Caleb a bunch of good-ass movie recommendations a while back and then he watched them

and said they were all terrible or he didn't even finish it. Caleb's got a particular... He didn't like 1917? He fell asleep. Wow. That movie is so action. It's all action and he fell asleep. He woke up movie is so like action. It's all action

and he fell asleep. And he woke up and Rowan was crying. Why were you crying? Because the guy Oh! The reality is a war. Yeah like

death Are you telling me people died in that war? That was a 20 year old guy. Oh fuck Rowan. World War I World War I actually sustained some casualties.

How many? Like a dozen? Probably. Not even. But like you know the familial bond. You see someone, you know, good acting. I like to get lost in a movie. Me too.

I like to just fucking, you know. I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once this past week. Oh, how was that? A lot of movies. Incredible. What is that called? I mean, who's in it? A bunch of Asian actors, I think.

Everything Everywhere All at Once? I'm not going to see that one. I still want to watch Licorice Pizza. That's on my list. That movie's ass. Is it really that bad? It's terrible. It's about pedophilia.

I turned it off after like 10 minutes. Glorifies female to male pedophilia. I mean, the intro is like the girl meets him while he's at high school. Who wrote it, Jerry Thornton? I mean, pretty much. Who wrote it? Jerry Thornton? I mean, pretty much. Who is it? Who is the... But yeah, that's the whole theme of it.

Like a 28-year-old woman and a 16-year-old dude. Probably rules when you are 14 watching that. When you're like... That's problematic what you just did. Why? Problematic. No, it's not. I'm saying for the audience, not for the actual kids who are –

Oh, yeah. For the audience. For the fantasizers. Right, right, right. The boys with the runaway imagination. They did that Pete Davidson skit with Ronda Rousey when she's the teacher about the thing. I haven't seen that one. It's one of the last SNLs one I remember actually laughing at.

Wait, is it the Dead Poets Society one? No. It's the one where Ronda Rousey's a teacher who like fools around with a kid in school. Like, like Davidson and like people were like, oh,

I've seen that one. And he's like, they said like, my man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Denzel.

You a fan of Pete Sass? Um, I like his stand up. I don't really like SNL that much, but. I like how he fucks Kim. Yeah,

I think that's tight. I think he probably dicks her down. Yeah. You saw that he got the tattoo of the kids on his neck? Yeah, that's fucked up.

I thought he got branded. Did he? He got her name branded. Yeah, branded. Yeah, but the new tattoo is like a regular one. The kids, all the children's names. Kind of a cool way to say sex, right? He dicks her down.

Yeah, yeah. It felt cool coming out of the mouth. He squashes her beef. Yeah. Blows her back out. Staten Island. She's so much older than him How much? Like 13 years That's ages bro

I mean I'm 16 years older than you You saying we can't fuck? Yes I am saying that God damn it dude Well he finally put it out in the world I'm not gonna say it What were you gonna say?

I'm not gonna say it What? I like my job Oh well actually no There is one person where he says he's not gonna say it You actually don't want going to say? I'm not going to say it. What? I like my job. No, no. You're going to say it? Oh, well, actually, no. There's the one person where he says he's not going to say it. You actually don't want him to say it. What's going on with the tapes?

There's probably going to be something bad, yeah. I want to know now. Oh, I know. I've already figured out what he's going to say. Don't say it. I'm not going to say it. It's just good for him. Can we release the tapes?

Great for him, yeah. We can't just put the tapes out without us looking at it. I think Brandon did it. A man is so... I was having a conversation with Sass there. That was a reasonable back and forth. I think we should just skim them. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's nice.

He said they're on the Gambling Cave computer. We've got to do this tomorrow. On the Gambling Cave computer. Yeah, he's on the line with TJ right now. Oh, okay. We'll get them on the Gambling Cave computer. We'll watch them. We'll do it on the Gambling Cave computer. We'll watch them. We'll do it live if we get to 77.5.

All right, so that's what we're doing. That's nice. Whoa, I didn't know you had that. I didn't know you had that. What's a zip-off? You remember the zip-offs? Oh, they're zip-offs. The files are downloaded.

They're on the Gambling Cave computer. Wow. We can get them in the next like five, 10 minutes. I have to go to the sales thing. What is the sales thing you have to go to? It's like our big sales meeting. All the sales people are here.

That's why Steven. There's a lot of footage. So why weren't me and we're going to go through it. Why would he be out if all the sales people are here? You know, we'll do is we'll actually parse it down. So we don't like, cause it will be boring if we just go through all the footage.

Yeah. But we, none of us should watch it then beforehand. No, no. No, TJ should watch it, and then he should present it. Yes. I haven't shit. Brandon took the train in with me this morning. No, no, no, this is good.

TJ, you got to parse it down, and we'll get a suspect list tomorrow. I was really looking forward to this ending and then going straight over to it. So I'll make it so it's like you see each person that goes in. Yeah. But you don't see how long they're going to come out. So we'll get all the suspects in. And now I just want to send a message to the person who did that. How can they?

You have 24 hours to come clean. If you tell anyone here that you were the person who did it, we will still expose you. Yeah, we're still doing it. No, we're definitely going to expose you. We're going to ruin your career. Sorry. I mean, what do you want? I can't.

If someone comes up to me and they're like, hey, it was me, I'm just going to be like, all right, cool. You're fucked. Tune in tomorrow, Jack. Yeah, come on and defend yourself. Unless they're sick. But this isn't like normal defending yourself. It's not like me going in and being like, oh, this guy was listening without his headphones on.

It's like you're – We have to send a message. You're a scumbag. It can't happen. That cannot happen. They'll go down as scumbags forever, though. It's like that is a small mistake, but it's also a vile one. I hope it wasn't Poop Trent.

There's probably a good chance that whoever did it doesn't know they did it. Well, then that's a whole other can of worms. Who's the one person who, if it was he or she, we would protect? Frank. Yeah, because Frank, it would be bad. You probably shouldn't say who you're going to protect, because if we don't release the tapes, now people are going to know. Well, then, yeah.

Sure, if we don't release the tapes, it was Frank. I think Frank was even here until late, though. Just be honest with everyone. That's a fact. Frank got here a little late today because of the train. Yeah, sorry. I don't think it was Frank. Did we get someone to pull the train schedule?

Yeah, and J Transit Northeast Corridor was down between Rahway and Trenton. Interesting. Okay, that eliminates some people. Who do you hope it was? I hope it was Billy, so I can just yell at him. And I also think Billy could wear it the easiest. Oh, no way. I don't think Billy wears things as well as you do.

Oh, he doesn't wear things at all. But I think that people would just be like, oh, Billy. Like, I don't think it would ruin his reputation. He's got a point. Sass said it was fireable, right? Yeah, Billy has a long career ahead of him. That was fireable, Sass? I think they know what happened, yes.

I think it's borderline fireable. If they know what happened, they should be fired. They just left the shit on the toilet. They should have to go to some sort of course. They learn how to be human. Counseling. What a shame. You know what?

We should. Letting the cleaning lady, if you knew you did it and you let the cleaning lady clean your shit off the toilet seat, you're a child. Here's what I'll do. I'm going to offer for anyone who. Like clogging a toilet. It's kind of the same as clogging a toilet. No, not even clogging.

What I mean. Not even close. Definitely worse, but the element of taking care of it. Not even close. You're an adult. I know what he's saying. That's all. It's personal responsibility.

I've had times where I was young and I clogged the toilet and I didn't know what to do. I didn't tell anyone. Yeah, that's a little... I would never have left the bathroom. I'm going to clog the toilet with my hands. I would never leave the bathroom with my shit smeared on the toilet seat. No, that's tough. Someone else will take care of it.

I remember you... When did you unclog it with your hands? I've done it multiple times. I did it when we went to Monday Night Football, Bill's Patriots. I unclogged the toilet and I took a bag out. The press box? Yeah, I took a bag out. The press box? Yeah, I took a bag out of the liner out of the trash and put my hand in the trash bag.

I would have been screaming. Dude, listen. When you're faced with a single toilet and a group of like 30 people and you've been in the bathroom for 30 minutes and then you show back up in the group, you can't have a clogged toilet. It would have been just instantly that guy. And you can't have shit on the toilet. It's like Glennie when we were at the gambling cave and he came out once and he was like, hey, just a heads up, someone clogged the toilet.

Yeah, you did that. When we were in Buffalo, remember we were at the hotel? I was sitting downstairs and all of a sudden Big Hat comes up to the front desk and he's like, someone clogged the toilet. Yeah, someone cloged my toilet. I don't know why hotels don't have plungers. Yeah, it's weird. You're shitting in the toilet that you don't understand the pressure of. Yeah.

Someone should have to get, whoever did it should have to give the cleaning lady $150. Here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to let someone. I'm going to give someone a chance to spare themselves. If you were the person who did this, you come forward in the next 24 hours to me. 23. Here's what I will do.

I will not reveal your name or the videos, but you'll have to put on a mask and we have to swirl you tomorrow in that toilet. Like a full body suit where we can't tell what kind of... That's fair punishment. That's fair punishment. Well, you could put on a full

burka. Wait, what if it's me? He uses his immunity. Frank in a fucking mask and be like, it could be anyone. I don't know who it was. It could be Bob Fox. It could be Frank. A massive Mets jacket on.

Just like flat upside down. Not another one. As like flat upside down. That's our first. Not another one. He's going down. Tomorrow we'll find out. I mean this is a cliffhanger. This is a great cliffhanger. I promise to the Yak listeners we will get justice tomorrow.

This is some Scooby Doo shit right now. It's like Netflix. Do you want to watch the next one? Scooby-Doo-Doo shit. Yeah. Scooby-Doo-Doo. All right. You guys can keep going.

I got to go. That's cool. All right. Tomorrow we find out who did this and we get justice for everyone in this office. TJ, you know what you're doing, right? Yes. So no one talk to TJ about this.

No one look at the videos. Tomorrow we come in, we go fresh. Start, find the videos, and then we will. And don't try to bribe me either. No. It won't work. Here's TJ. You want to know how you're bribe proof?

If anyone tries to bribe TJ, I will pay more money for your name to be revealed to TJ. So there you go. That's bribe proof. I'm now fielding offers on bribes. Yeah, fuck. I'll fuck myself. Alright, see you tomorrow. Yeah. Outro Music