The Yak - We Hire A Clown/Stripper/Goof For Tommy Walker's Birthday | The Yak 10-6-21

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, it's the Yak. Hi. Hello, Yak. You're teasing that upper thigh. Yeah, look at this. Almost straight to the dick hole.

No, no, no. What do we call that area where the skin gets darker? The ding. The ding. The ding area of my... Almost to the ding. I have a high ding, though. Do you have a high ding? I have a high ding.

I have a real low ding. How does your skin just get stained? You gotta get real close to the source. How does your skin just get stained? You got to get real close to the source. The dinged is like the spaghetti Tupperware of the human body. What was that big hit by stained? You would know. Stained was... It's been a while.

It's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. Since I washed my upper legs. Stained. I like your shirt, Kyle. That's a good shirt. Oh. Human clay. Human clay your shirt, Kyle. That's a good shirt. Human clay.

Yeah, you get it. I do. Creed. Huge band back in the early 2000s. Famous. Scott Stapp. Scott Stapp. Sneaky Christian band, I guess. They weren't sneaky at first. I guess they're called Creed. Yeah, they were just Christian at first and then they

got away from that. They sound exactly like gospel rock yeah like higher they got a lot of switch foot to them wasn't scott stapp like uh didn't he like ride a bike up to dc to try to kill the president geez i think that's a different is scott does scott stapp try to do that i think which president obama ah it doesn't feel like was that was the the bike integral in his plan to assassinate or i think he just had just how he got there he may have collected some deweys or was that his only method of transportation yeah yeah huh where's your crew sass where's ron where's owen i don't know i woke up this morning, and I heard Owen was awake. Like, he went to the bathroom and then went back to his room.

And then I went and I showered, and I didn't know if Owen maybe left. And I texted him, and I said, did you already leave? And he didn't reply, so I left. Owen could be dead, is what you're telling us. No, I think he's probably asleep. He's sexed with a group. I'm sorry. There it is.

He's working a lot. Yeah. I think they had to go to Hoboken last night until late. He's sexing the group. I'm sorry. There it is. He's working a lot. Yeah. I think they had to go to Hoboken last night until late. He does too much. He does way too much. He's a producer on nine shows. His job title is sports book social. That's what he got hired to do.

He needs a big old raise. Or he needs to pull back. Of all people, like me and him, for sure. I mean, he does he produces anis son of a boy dad cracking aces cracking aces and he edits the audio for all of those he does a big chunk of the social for them he does the social new podcast he's on this new podcast he's on the yak and he's still listed as just the and he's on the he does sportsbook social which is a no yeah but that's like what he's just listed as social.

Sportsbook Social is a very around-the-clock job. He films Scumbag Golf as well. It's true. Just one more thing to the repertoire. Social guys for the Sportsbook have to work on the weekends until like 1 a.m. I don't think we need to dance around this any longer. Otis won the Fat Bear Week.

It seems like people are happy. I thought we uh otis won the fat bear week okay it seems like people are happy i don't like agreed that walker was the superior bear here's what otis has won it now five times over the last decade he is a dynasty he is the patriot well it's clearly rigged did you read the article about him no what about him he's racist he is living well beyond oh yeah he's about to die his teeth are have fallen out and he doesn't have all of his claws. They don't think he'll be able to dig a burrow long enough. They're expecting this will be the last time we ever see him. Otis? Yes. Okay, well this is

a legacy vote then. It's a legacy vote. Okay. Okay, but wait. If his teeth are falling out, how'd he eat so much to get so fat? That's what, yeah, so he's a legend in his own right. Well, fish. They eat fish. Still have to chew them. They still gotta chew them. They gotta rip them apart. Yeah, but they have big legend in his own right. They eat fish. Still have to chew them. They still got to chew them.

They got to rip them apart. Yeah, but they have big jaws. He did deserve it. If he ate a bunch of salmon with faulty teeth, then yeah, he deserves it. Yeah, and then the article's just like, yeah, this will be the last time we see him. He will die in hibernation. He's eating living fish that are flopping. He has to have claws to get them, and he has to have teeth to rip them apart.

Maybe he's just winning them over with his personality. Maybe he's a vegetarian. Zah, what do you know that we don't? Yeah, Zah, what are you holding back? We nailed it. Otis is going to die. How long do bears live? Like 30 years, I think?

Yeah, I think he's like 40. He was first spotted in 2001 when he was four. They suspect he was between four to six years old based on the size of his teeth. God damn. He's spotted a Brady-type legacy.

Yeah. Fast approaching 30. I still think Walker's a superior bear. Were we voting? We only just saw one still image. Yeah. That's what we were voting on, though.

But fat is hard to gauge. I want to see jiggle. I don't think we ever really decided. We've got to have still image. Yeah. That's what we were voting on though, Kyle. But fat is hard to gauge. I want to see jiggle. I don't think we ever really decided. We've got to have a plan next time. Are we voting the best looking fat bear or the best transformation? Are there any highlight clips of these bears in action? I saw Otis on the camera today. He was just sitting there on the side of the river just trying to catch fish.

If you want to pull up the camera, I don't any of us got that he's got that kobe mentality the mom mentality yeah i've been obsessed with the youtube channels of just like kids that are like 18 19 years old there's a lot of bears out there weird quote unquote uh hearing songs for the first time just like hearing hey yeah for the first time there's lying yeah they're they're all and it's just like they get hundreds of millions of views. Just like, oh, man. The reaction videos. Yeah, reacting to hey, yeah for the first time.

No way. I do the same thing with people reacting to Chris Stapleton singing for the first time. Yes, Tennessee Whiskey. I don't know why I got on that, but it's people reacting to Tennessee Whiskey. Oh, he has soul. Right. And they're shocked. This is good.

They're shocked this professional singer can sing. Yeah. But I want to do one just like, baby, here's happy birthday for the first time. Because that's the only way it could be true. True. True. True. Fine.

Yeah. Do we get the bear video? Oh, yeah. I want to watch it some more. Maybe that should just be the whole show. Just to watch it. Okay. Okay.

Update on Friday. Pleasant looking place, man. Where is that? That's a Bob Ross. Oh, shit. Did he just get a fish? That does look like a painting more than a... I think he might have. Oh! Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. He did. Is this the first time you've ever seen it, Zop? did Wait you got a fish Oh my days he did Is this the first time You've ever seen a Zod That guy's got a fish Over there He's got a fish

Oh my god We saw a fish Oh he did Wait there's another bear Up there There's like four Five bears There's many bears

But is that a bear Way off in the distance Yeah yeah There's like six bears This is a beautiful place Oh this is amazing Where is this I'm going So it's in Alaska We gotta go is a beautiful place. Where is this? I'm going to Alaska.

We got to go do a live show there. Cat Mai. I'm going next year. Are you actually? For this. I'm definitely going. So what do you do? I'm just going to go hang out and just film shit.

Go vlog. Do people do that? That would be amazing. Oh, this one's on the move. I'm going to go cover it. That one up there is just eating fish. Yeah, he's got... Oh, man. Look at the one in the front is it. That one up there is just eating fish. Yeah, he's got... Oh, man.

The one in the front is searching. I think he might have whiffed on one. It's a shame that bears are so lethal and dangerous, because don't you just want to pet one of them so bad? Yeah. We might have him move over. He's looking. Oh, horse hybrid.

Oh, fuck. This is some action right now. I love this. I'd love to get a rod in there. Yeah. Get a line in. Cast. Catch it.

Show them how it's done. Do a little fly. Fly action. Teach a bear to fish. Yeah. If there were a bear sitting there with a fly rod right now, that would be incredible. I'd love to see that. I wonder how many pictures, like paintings, there are of a bear with a fishing rod.

That's the next Dogs Playing Poker. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well. Oh, wow. many pictures like paintings there are of a bear with a fishing rod that's the next dog's playing yeah yeah okay well oh wow that was really exciting actually i'm gonna be watching that all day yeah that was like you were legitimately excited yeah yeah i mean i've been i've been dialed in i've been dialed in for the past four or five days and that's the first time you've seen a fish caught in action that's no so no i mean i got excited because it's the first time on on air but yeah and i've seen this i've seen them eat okay are these bears imported to alaska from other places are they all natives i believe they're natives so they just set up the cameras where they come and feed right before right before the winter right before they go into hibernation. What other region has fucking

cool bears? The Arctic has many polar bears. Most dangerous bear. Are you looking for a variety of bears? Asia has... China has bears. They're cool. They're smaller, I think. There's tactics to

protect yourself from most bears. If it's a black bear, you're supposed to get big and try and scare them away. And then if it's a grizzly bear, you're basically just supposed to get on your knees and put your hands on your neck. But if it's a polar bear, they say just like you're dead. Russia's a big bear country. That's basically Alaska. That's their symbol. Yeah.

They wrestle them. I've got eyes on some. I don't know. What are the white ones called? Polar bears? Polar bears Polar bears you got at

at Weppuska National Park wait we have a polar bear stream too? those are the coolest bears those are the biggest bears yeah we just do bear streams yeah you want to put them up?

well I mean if there are like compilations or highlights no wow that's a live stream that's beautiful this is live right now that's stunning

that's a great looking animal just chilling with the family now that looks like a much more That's a live stream. That's beautiful. This is live right now. That's stunning. That's a great looking animal. Just chilling with the family. Now that looks like a much more desolate place. Manitoba, Canada. Shout out. My aunt, I've got an aunt in Winnipeg. No, you don't.

Winnipeg. Absolutely. I was over there. I've got some homies in Brandon. Damn, I didn't know a lot of Filipinos were in North America. I think we discovered this on the show, but which province has no rats? Oh, yeah. Alberta has no rats. Someone said Alberta, I think.

Yeah. Alberta has no rats. Insane. It's wild that you could have bears but not rats. I want to fuck around in like Newfoundland. What would you do there? Bar hopping. Yeah.

St. John's. There are a lot of people in Newfoundland. Nah. Prince Edward Island. It's a good dog a lot of people in Newfoundland. Nah. Prince Edward Island. It's a good dog breed. There's a big dog. Seems like a good place to escape. Yeah, those are my favorites.

I want one of those when I'm older. I always thought New Zealand people were a little hoity-toity about being New Zealand people. They are. I follow like 15 fan accounts of those dogs. How many New Zealanders are there? Five. I don't know. Six million there uh five i don't know six million five i don't know i think there's less yeah there probably is five million five million new zealanders that's more than i would have thought interesting place all right so friday friday we're gonna have

to okay so friday we're good to go, 12 to 2. The Yak is 12 to 2. We've got that locked in. Yeah, we've got your time slot. Tommy is on the fence about coming. He's on the fence. He's on the fence. Understandable.

Did you tell him about the clown? Tommy was going through some things last night because I was walking through the house. I said, good night, daughter. She said good night. I said good night, middle son. Good night. I said good night, baby. He said good night.

I said good night, Tommy. He said, how much does a handgun cost? Oh, cost oh geez so i don't know what he's going through in his life but he he gets nervous about coming so i'm just gonna have to wake him up and bring him yeah without giving him a bunch of he'll come but yeah he will have you told him about trick-or-treating yet no i'm not gonna tell him because i'm still i'm on the fence about that one myself so i don't think y'all are all right i can't tell my kids in case y'all don't want to do it. We are doing it. Yeah.

You can't tell kids until it's locked. It's locked. It's locked. I'd love to do it. All four of them are going to Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Do they actually know what trick-or-treating is? Yeah, of course they do. They've done it before in spurts.

It's just not a big thing in our house. What do you mean in spurts? Have you just given them pieces of candy? Yeah, of course they do. Have they just not? They've done it before in spurts, so it's just not a big thing in our house. What do you mean in spurts? Have you just given them pieces of candy? Yeah, spurts? No, we've done it before. I love how you say it's not a big thing in your house. It seems like it's just not a big thing for you. Correct.

I've never really cared for it or done it. They probably loved it. I didn't really do it as a kid, and I don't really do it now. So not really, I don't know, just not my day. We're taking them. Why not? Why don't you like it? Hey, Brandon, we're going to bring you out too. Yeah. I don't know, just not my day. We're taking them. Why not? Why don't you like it? Hey, Brandon, we're going to bring you out too.

Yeah. I don't want to come out. Get your biggest pillowcase. I don't want to come out. Take the pillow out. You do want to come out. Is that for the candy or is that to wear? We'll fill it to the brim.

Fill it to the brim. Deep down, you do want to go. Because I have a sheet that I already spitted. Yeah, you do. There's some issues with clowns.com. The clown is booked. So let's not scare anybody. There are issues with clowns.com.

It turns out we think, and this was a DM I got, we need to look into it because the clowns apparently don't wear wigs or makeup. I was just going to say that. I saw that on the website. That's controversial. That's not a clown. You've got to say that. The thing is, a clown without makeup and just the garb is a jester. And then without the gar. That's not a clown. A clown without makeup

and just the garb is a jester. And then without the garb is just a goof. Do we hire a goof? They just wear the outfit. We don't want a goof. We want to cancel a goof. I'm fine with a goof as long as we're paying goof rates. But if we paid for a clown at clowns.com

and we get a goof. I feel like clowns.com is going to have clown rates. Are they open to getting painted? Do you think that we could just kind of do it ourselves? Let's give them a call and just make sure that we'll be getting a clown and not a goof. Let's do that. Roan, handle this.

Brandon, take the lead on this one. Roan, you got this. Maybe we wear the clown makeup. Alright, I'll call. We're the real clowns for hiring a goof. Maybe that's what clowns. All right, I'll call. I'll call. I'll call. We're the real clowns for hiring a goof. Maybe that's what clowns.com refers to us. Yeah, we're the clowns. Holy shit.

Can we pull up clowns.com and see if there's any photos? Because I'd be even okay with a jester as long as he had bells on the tips of his shoes. I'd be perfectly content with that. Are those the only classifications? There's no other in-betweens? Where do mimes fit in? I think a mime is an unfunny clown, right? But they're like method acting clowns, though.

Right, they're just clowns of a different nature. So what are mimes going for? What emotion are they supposed to invoke? I think they're just going for reality. They're just trying to paint you a picture of a reality that doesn't exist. Yeah, sadness, too, I think. I think there's some sadness in mimes. Mimes are closer to an illusionist than anything.

Oh, wow. I don't think that. They're flamboyant illusionists. What about a fool? Where's a fool fall in? Funny you should ask that. You got me again. Shakespearean.

A fool is a is an unknowing goof. Oh, so a goof is one who's participating in the goofery. Intentionally goofing. A fool has

goof qualifications but doesn't know. We got to be boring the audience. They already know that. Yeah, they're aware. Are we on the line? Hello.

Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? I have a I'm fine. I have a small question about an order that we placed with you guys for an attendee on Friday. And I say attendee because I thought that we ordered a clown, but there's some confusion that I'm getting back that the clown might not be a traditional clown like we're expecting. Right, so it's not like a traditional circus clown with any face paint or anything. It's more

so bare face. They're just in really bright, colorful clothing. I feel led astray. That sounds more like a jester. I'm confused. Am I on like a radio station right now? What's going on? Oh, just a group of guys. Kind of, yes.

You are. Kind of, but it's like... You're doing well. Oh, my gosh. But you understand our confusion, though. Yeah, I do understand your confusion, but it's kid-friendly entertainment, so we can't have anything scary for the kids.

Okay. What about just a traditional clown, though? we can't have anything scary for the kids. Okay. What about just a traditional clown, though? I don't find those scary. And I don't think our subject is going to find them scary either, our victim. I mean, kid. Yeah, unfortunately, that's just not what we offer. They're all kid-friendly, nothing scary. We don't do any scary face...

I know, not scary to you, but... What are they going to look like? What's it going to be like? It's going to be a really young, energetic, pretty girl and her male partner. And they're going to just be in really bright, colorful clothing. They're going to have like crazy patterns, you know, stripes, circles. And are we expected to tip or...? Yeah, you know, stripes, circles. And are we expected to tip?

Yeah, you are. Okay. Pretty girls coming through for our young child that we're supposed to tip? Yes, exactly. And it costs you. Okay. And there's no way that we could, like, ask them to put on any type of traditional clown makeup, just to kind of—we're going for an aesthetic here of clownery, not just gestures.

Well, hold on. Can she give us time alone? Yeah, can you give us a second? Can you put us on hold? Or can we call you back? We'll call you back. Yeah, sure. Thank you.

All right. I'm fine with what they're offering. Really? What do you guys think? I do like the loudness of the clothes, the exciting patterns of clothes. But she said they're crazy clothes, but they're circles and stripes. That's common patterns for clothes. I want paisleys.

Yeah, at least an argyle. We don't know how. Something ornate. Yeah. How would Tommy feel if we just ditched the clown and we got a stripper? We don't have clowns. That's what it sounds like. That's what I was trying to get at.

It is a stripper. A young, energetic, pretty girl. A young, energetic, pretty girl who we're expected to tip. This might be a stripper. This is obviously a stripper. I've never seen someone be like, I'm scared of a clown's makeup. Is clowns.com a front for strippers? Are they wearing big shoes?

I'd hope so. And a nose? i will not tolerate regular shoes right we could at least buy them a pair of size 18 penny loafers that they could slip into so do we need to get our questions ready when we call back are they wearing big shoes are they well let's let's get a list of our requirements are they wearing big shoes who's gonna take take some who's to take some minutes? Owen, can you take some minutes? What? Oh, fuck. Oh, no. What?

Owen's not here. Fuck. All right, all right. We did have a whole segment before you got here about how hard Owen works. Can we talk to one of the clowns? He's a beast. Can we talk to one of the clowns? I was going to ask that.

I would like if we could talk to a clown. We can't rule out the fact that she might be one of the clowns. Yeah, she could be one of the clowns. She could be. She's describing herself as energetic and pretty. She's playing us. She's the one who's coming. She might be one of the clowns.

She's talking about how pretty the girl's going to be. I want to pick her brain. No, she sounded humble, though. She wouldn't just brag about that. She wouldn't be. She works at clowns.com. She's a performer. But she might just be the receptionist, though. She might just be the voice of clowns.com. She's a performer. But she might just be the right receptionist, though.

She might just be the voice of clowns.com. I don't know a lot about their business. She also did say there's going to be a young pretty girl and her male partner. Yeah. Her boyfriend's coming. So we've got to ask if he cannot come. Are we paying for the partner? Do we want the partner?

Jay, you booked it, right? Zah booked it, yeah. But any time you get a performer to your house, there's generally security. So he's security. Okay, tell them that we've got... He's just a bouncer in goofy clothes. Tell them that we've got security covered,

so there will be no need for security. Can they waive the fee, or we could pay half the rate? Yeah, we have two security guards. Clown bouncers are hilarious. Like, yo, buddy, you gotta go. Oh, hey, guys. You hear them walking up. So, shoe size, can we talk

to a clown? Questions about the male partner. Can we waive the fee if we have our own security? What else am I asking her? What else do we want, boys? I don't think they're going to sin without their own security. They're not going to do that. That's a non-starter. I'm fine with the security.

I actually am looking forward to that. Can we ask if they're Eastern European, does that raise the chances that it's a sex trafficking thing? I'm almost positive it's going to be Lithuanian. It's going to be Lithuanian. I think we're going to have a Moldovan jester when we wanted a traditional clown. I know. That's what I'm worried about. But if I ask about the Eastern European, am I going to be tipping my hand that I'm on to them sex traffic?

You can't bring that up. But if we can talk to the clown, there's an accent. But if she says we can't talk to the clown, that means they don't speak English. Ask them what languages they speak. Then we'll be able to deduce where they're from. Or when she comes on, should we just try and ask her something in Latvian or something real quick? And just slip it out? What's some good Latvian?

What's a traditional Latvian? What? Are we looking for Latvian, or are we looking for any Eastern bloc? Yeah, but we're going to blow the lid off if we find out that they're Latvian. We need something Baltic. Is that what we're saying? I don't think we need it. I'm fine with Argentinian.

You think they'd go South American clown? I would love that. No, you're right. They won't. KB. You don't. Yeah.

The beef that they feed them down there. They feed them something different down there in Argentinian clown colleges. I feel like there's stones that we're leaving unturned as far as what to ask them here.

What's our strategy? What's our out strategy? Actually, what's our goal? What do we want here? I want a traditional clown. I don't think we're going to get it with these people. We're not. But are we trying to figure out if what they offer is satisfactory, even if it's short of our clown goal?

No face paint. It sounds like they're just going to be showing up in some seersuckers and I don't even know. I don't want a rainbow chicken here doing a handstand expecting me to laugh. I want a nose honk. I want her to shake up a bottle of seltzer and spritz us. I don't want her to pop out of a cake.

I want to get pied. I don't want her to get pied. It's dubious. Maybe we could have another clown show up and assess them head to head. Oh, I like that. Ask if they're okay with interacting with another clown. Just for comparison. And if they're willing to, if they don't beat the clown.

If they're willing to compete. And for their fee. Yeah. Let me pull up clowns.com and just see. Guys, there willing to compete. And for their fee. Yeah. Let's go. Let me pull up clowns.com and just see. Guys, there's a video. I think we need to watch it. All right.

You want to send it to Zod? Zod, you have it? It's clowns.com. It's right on the front there. Okay. Clowns.com's video. He's wearing Converse. He's wearing Chucks.

Oh. I may have been right, boys. Well, they're wearing scary face paint. Well, that's the kid, though. That's the kids. They paint faces. That's him. Okay. Okay. That's kind of face paint. That's the kids. They paint faces. That's him. Okay. That's kind of clownish. What's clownish

about that? Oh, I see. He's hot. I don't know what's going on. What are we watching? What is this? He's an early riser. 5 a.m.? Oh, he's good. Put the socks on. They're long socks. It's like HBO Before a Fight. Those aren't big.

No, those are completely normal size. He has to load the rainbow tape into his mouth. Why is she running? This is scarier than if they were wearing... He is handsome. We got to put this over some creepy music. What is going on? This looks like a music video for like AWOL Nation.

Sale! She looks... If anyone tries to paint us... I'm pro-paint. I'm good with the paint. I'm pro-paint, yes. That was the most you ever sounded like Hank Hill. Yeah, pro-paint.

Fuck. Yeah. But I'm not trying to get my face painted. I don't know. Let's see if they'll accidentally blackface us. Yeah. Just say we want to be chimney sweeps. Sit us up.

This is disturbing, guys. The video's too long. Where are the parents? I think there's multiple videos. I don't know, guys. He is wearing goofy clothes. We have to tip our know, guys. He is wearing goofy clothes. Like, we have to tip our cap to him that he's wearing goofy clothes. He just doesn't have...

He's young. He's just not an old, jilted clown yet. He's still fucking... Jilted? What package did we get? Yeah, can we go down to the entertainment packages? He's not jilted yet. Okay, so...

That's us. Yeah, what happened to you? Wait, are we the clowns? Oh, my God. God damn it. We've been the clowns the whole fucking time. What a twist.

They're rich professionals. I want to see the entertainment packages because I don't understand why the clowns aren't allowed to wear makeup but then they have Batman and Spider-Man

in full costume. Do you think clown colleges have a 24-hour course that maybe one of us could spruce up and go full clown? Yeah, we should try. We want to be entertained. We get this quasi-clown,

then we get the best clown we could ever find. The character packages are way scarier. We can just pose them and shame the fake clown. Can I just throw out an idea or a question? Why are we focusing so much on the clown now when it really started out as just ice cream? Look at that Pikachu. That was generic. That looks like the Pikachu popsicle that you get from Ice Age.

It feels like we've lost the plot of the ice cream a little bit. No, we know because that's in our hands and we know we're going to... And that's foregone. All right. We should try to go to a clown college for a video. I'll pledge. Listen here, pledge. Oh, man.

They're definitely ruthless. Oh, and we're talking about Friday, and we want to get a clown. We want to get a clown in our midst. I heard this website, they don't wear paint. They don't wear paint. No paint. We're in the middle of negotiations with them, though, or at least questioning. No wig.

No big shoes. Of course, they know better. You don't just get a job at clowns.com. That's the big leagues. It's impossible. Yeah, I think that we need to – KB, you were saying we need to get the best clown we can. I think that we need to get the best clown we can. I think that we need to get the worst clown we can. I think a worst clown is more likely to be a do-it-yourself 65-year-old guy who loves to slap on a wig and is trying to make an honest buck.

He's trying to make $200. Let's get a Craigslist clown. I'm going to Craigslist. Yeah, Craigslist. Yeah, I want big shoes. I want back page or some of like female for male. Just those guys who are... I'm on Staten Island Craigslist.

You guys do a different burrow. All right. Can we pull up Craigslist on here? Let's call a clown and ask him some questions. A Manhattan clown? I want them to be a born and raised clown.

He thinks we're all crammed into baby shoes. How are you guys fitting into those? He sees a smart car and thinks it's an SUV. These fucking clowns. Yeah, we need to get a dueling clown. Having another clown in the mix, I think, will just make things a little bit more chaotic. Just a competition.

We could pay them both. We can afford it. We should just overbook it and have like 15. We should book a clown that's going to show up every 15 minutes and then by the end

we'll have like a room full of clowns. A room full of clowns. But they can cram. That's one of their things. Clowns for birthday party. Clowns for birthday parties. Live birds,

magic show, face painting balloons, free cotton candy, birthday parties. Live birds. Magic show. Face painting balloons. Free cotton candy. Ice cream. Call Robert. That sounds a little bit too professional. No. There's not a single punctuation point. Okay. That bodes well. Live birds?

The fact that they can bring birds and a cotton candy machine makes it sound like they have it a little bit together. Like they know how to pack a car. Let's find a worse. Unless he brings in like a pigeon or a robin. He just catches a pigeon outside. He doesn't say what he does. He just brings a live bird. He just

promises a live bird. Here's my card. It's just a bird. Oh man, if he's that kind of like a magician clown and he's pulling a bird out of his head. That's what a bird. Oh, man. If he's that kind of like a magician clown and he's pulling a bird on his head. I found a clown magician. Okay. Okay. That's what I hate.

Oh, no. It's a clown and a magician. Two different people. It's a package deal. You don't want the magician? They're trying to click up on us. Yeah. No jicks.

Are they like a couple? Not around my son. That will be a network TV show. It's a clown married to a magician. A photographer? Just to snap pictures of him. In the corner. Photographers are cheap on a lot of sites.

You can get a photographer for like 50 bucks, 75 bucks, 25 bucks. These people are going to come here and there's going to be one kid. Yeah, that's hilarious. And he's 11. He's too old for a clown. No, he's not. No, he's not too old for a clown. 11 is not too old for a clown.

Especially if a clown and a magician. 11 is too old for a clown. 11 is almost actually not. No, he's not too old for a clown. Eleven is not too old for a clown. Especially if a clown and a magician. Eleven's too old for a clown. Eleven's almost actually the perfect age, because if you're younger than that, you might be afraid of clowns. I think if you've ever been afraid of clowns, you just keep that fear. No. I don't think you age out of clown fear. Do you? What is that even based in?

I don't know. Is that like a phobia? Fuck a clown. But like, where's the phobia rooted? Yeah. You're afraid to laugh? Serial killer who killed all those boys. But who even knows about him?

Ed Gein? Gacy, right? Yeah. What is it, KB? I don't know. John Wayne Gacy. The kids are almost born with it. Speaking of which, you hear they found out who the Zodiac Killer was?

Yeah, and he's been dead for three years. He won. He died at like 89. I thought that was figured out a long time ago. No. His name's Gary. Yeah, his name was Gary. No way.

Just a dude named Gary. How'd they find out? DNA, I guess. I think they linked it to another murder. I have a different killer in mind. KB, pull back up the Craigslist clown and magician. I'm interested in the dynamic there. A rivalry or if they're a couple.

I want to fight. So I want to see multiple clowns fight each other. Yeah, that'd be cool. Put them in a room and we say that there's only enough money for one of you guys. Yeah. So you figure it out amongst yourselves. We'll, like, do, like, a Squid Games type thing. Yeah, we'll break a pool queue. How deep are you guys in Squid Games?

I have not seen any of it. I'm almost done. It's phenomenal. Yeah? Yeah, it's good. The voices, the voiceovers are hilarious, though, because they voice it like a... With the voiceovers? Yeah, the dub voice it like a with the voiceovers yeah the dub but I watched the sub wait I didn't watch the dub version

you're out here reading yeah I watched the sub that would ruin the whole show I didn't know that was an option I want to hear the real passion the way it was written yeah but the translation's off anyway bro you didn't see that

the translation's bad wait you watch it dubbed over yes dude oh that's that's we're not supposed to do that that's one of you anything like that is usually what the fuck are you talking about you guys are just reading the entire time because you're supposed to did you watch parasite dubbed over too no no i didn't yeah you did you did bro you guys are just trying to read because that's what you're supposed to do? Yeah I love doing that You're just slaves to Bong Joon-ho I guess I am

Yeah He parasited into your guys' brains I have a thing for the hot girl and the super hot girl on that show You always have things for super hot girls I guess that's your type That's why you want these clowns in here Something about the super hot girl I'm into her

I went to her Instagram thinking I was going to be early on the money. The most popular Netflix show of all time. She had 13 million followers. I don't know why. I assumed she was a budding... I was early on Julia Fox after... What's that movie called? If it was after that movie, then no humor.

I was, yeah. Right after we got out of the theater, I looked her up. 60K followers. Oh, nice. Holy shit, bro. I followed her and I DM'd her and I was her up 60 K followers. Oh, nice. Holy shit, bro. I followed her and I DM her and I was like, let me know if you ever need like a shout out or anything. I'm always down to help smaller pages.

Were you bigger than her at the time? Oh yeah. Oh wow. And now she has like 10 million followers. Are you going to sell your stock ever in her? You're just going to keep it. No, I actually unfollowed her.

So you did sell your stuff. Yeah. Damn. Why? I don't know. Making you too horny. Too horny. Yeah. That's not what it was. That's fine. Um, Oh, and any questions for clown Damn. Why? I don't know. Making you too horny. Too horny. Yeah.

That's not what it was. That's fine. Oh, and any questions for clowns.com? We're about to call them back. Maybe we could talk to one of the clowns. Should we ask about

fucking the clowns or no? No. That's big time off limits. That's more of like a when they show up type thing. That's in person. Yeah.

Because this is all being recorded. Yeah. But if we can watch them. Watch them fall. Yeah. They could be listening right now. We're trying to introduce Tommy to sex. I'd imagine he'll be really squeaky.

Like a funny low pressure way. I'm going to come. He just has like a little bike horn. He comes out of a flower. No, he comes out like, you know, he comes, he pulls out like his cum, like those ropes out of a mountain. Alright, should we call him back?

Say we don't want a pretty girl. We want a... Do not say that we don't want a pretty girl. We want a... Do not say that. I don't know the... Do not say that. Say we want a hot dude. That guy was hot. Yeah.

So we watched your guy's trailer, we saw the pretty girl, but we were more interested in the hot dude. Really hot. Let's just talk to one of the performers. Pick their brains. Okay, okay. If they're in character, that's a good sign.

I think the girl we talked to is probably one of the performers. Could be. Why would they have her answering the phones at clowns.com? I just don't think... We're in a pandemic. I don't think the clown business has been great. I think they probably are short staffed. That's the thing. In New York, anything like that,

they're also trafficking humans on the side. Yeah, that's what I mean. We have to... We have to tiptoe around the traffic. Where's their office located? Do they have an awesome HQ? They have a nice building? An atrium? What if it's just like the fourth floor of this building?

Yeah. We just walk downstairs. Elmont, New York? Elmont? Elmont, yeah. That's the town next to me. So they're going to be hiking up to get here. It's a bit of a drive. Well, you never know when they're... That's the yeah. That's the town next to me. So they're going to be hiking up to get here. It's a bit of a drive.

Well, you never know when they're... That's the headquarters. That's the headquarters. That's the headquarters. They probably have regional offices. Penthouse suites. They have branches. They probably have...

They're probably in Soho. Can we ask... Let's ask you about investment opportunities. We want to take clowns.com to the next level. What are clown things? Juggling, pies, unicycle, killing, public masturbation. So let's see if they can check three of those boxes. Like, is he going to beat off in front of us?

Like, we're fine with him beating off as long as he doesn't come in our general direction. Yeah. I'm dead set on a guy being horseshoe bald with long hair long hair red hair I don't know how we get like is that

is that not even an archetype anymore and fucking during Christmas there's a billion Santa Clauses around and we can't find one traditional looking clown that guy didn't even have a Norwood 2 he wasn't Bozo

he wasn't Bozo at all he wasn't a Bozo yeah they're trying to gentrify the clown they definitely are yeah no reverse that clown is at all. He wasn't a bozo. Yeah. They're trying to gentrify the clown. They definitely are. Yeah. No, reverse. That clown is... They're trying to diversify clowns. Yeah. Santa Claus as well. Really?

Yeah, like, you know, black Santa Clauses. Asian. Norwegian. Jesus. It's a good thing. Yeah. I just... The real Santa was white. Can I ask Tommy what he wants?

That is true. It's not about Tommy. It's not about Tommy anymore. It's about us. It's about us. We're just using his name. I don't want this girl and this guy to come in here. I do.

You do? Why? I don't want them either. Because either they're really good or really bad. They're going to be good. They'll be good at their jobs, and that'll be bad for us. I think they're going to be good. I think they're going to get in here, and it's going to be maybe the most uncomfortable.

They're not going to be prepared for what? They're going to walk in here and see six grown men and one child. What's the actual purpose of the clown in this scenario? Bring joy, wonder, awe. That's the purpose. That's the whole appeal is that't really need them for what we're doing. The whole appeal is that there is no purpose for them. Yeah, you guys can just do whatever you want.

We're going to do the show. Are we worried they get here and it's just very, very awkward for two of us? Yeah, that's what we were thinking. You're afraid of that? But where are they going to put their microphones? And how are we going to – we can't focus on them. We've already got them. I want the clown to be punching one way or another. We already got them. I want the clown to be paunchy one way or another. Bro, we already got them, so we just got to hope for the best.

But I'm saying we could just kind of set them on the third floor and let them entertain for a little bit. You know what I mean? It doesn't have to be for us. We'll have a room full of ice cream, too. We're going to have, we have to focus on our ice cream. I want like a paunchy chain smoker. When they get here, should we just completely ignore them? We can't cancel on them.

They don't have the laugh lines. We absolutely can cancel. The cancellation They don't have the laugh lines. We absolutely can cancel. The cancellation fee is insane. Yeah. It's like $15,000 to cancel. That's Big Cat's money. It doesn't matter to us. They don't have the crow's feet.

Big Cat can't handle that right now. Oh, really? He's been going through some. Oh, really? He's got a lot of stuff going on financially. Yeah. Fuck. Sucks to hear.

Is it the Facebook stock dropping? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Poor bloke. We got to help him out. We should start a GoFundMe for him. Yeah, for Big Tap.

Something like that. And tear it out. Where is he? 50 bucks, you get to meet him. And spend the day at the office with him. And yeah, it's open. It's open now. Where is he?

He's upset. Fuck, man. Poor fucking guy. All's open now. Where is he? He's upset. Fuck, man. Poor fucking guy. All right. Should we call him back? Yeah. Don't you dare cancel. I know your finger's on the cancel trigger.

Don't cancel. All right. Well, I want to cancel. I know you do. Can we just find another one, then? Is there a way we could pull it up on Craigslist? We somehow feel more... I want a fat guy.

That's fine. We seem less prepared for this call than we were for the first call. I know. She didn't say the build of the guy. She just said the girl was pretty. You saw the video. We saw the guy. How do we know that's him?

You thought that was a paid actor? I assume they have multiple guys, though. You're not born with a cleft chin and say, I'm going to be a clown. You think we're going to get their number one guy? It's Gaston. He's not a fucking clown. Would I have a beard if I had a cleft chin? No.

I hardly have a chin. I'm a sphere. I roll over once in bed and I just hit the floor. It's like laying on a massage table. We, all right, all right. What about on TaskRabbit or something like that Do you think that we could get a Carpenter to say he's a clown Or something like that

Mounting TVs is pretty funny And they'll be Eastern European but guys No I don't want to lose TaskRabbit mounters are usually From Asia Tell them we want the pretty girl, but we're going to hire the guy from an outside source.

We're going to bring in a different guy. I don't think that's how it's going to work. I don't think the male clown is just there for protection. Make sure he gets their fucking money. I don't know, but he was the star of the video. He was. He probably directed it too, though. He probably edited and directed it. He wanted to get all the shots.

They're wearing colorful clothes, but they're wearing it's... The video was in black and directed it too though. He probably edited and directed it. He wanted to get all the shots. But you're treating this like speed dating. They're wearing colorful clothes but they're wearing it's the video's in black and white. I don't think hot guys know how to edit video. That's true.

Uh oh. Look at John Kelly bro. Yeah John Kelly. That guy's a drink. He's a drink. He's a whole drink. And I'll take my time. Swig by swig.

I'll take my fucking time with that. And Josh? Let it condense on the outside of the cup. Josh is a beverage. Josh is a cool beverage. Oh, my God. Carbonated. I could take my time with him, too.

Oh, fucking. Give me a straw. Get it together. A fucking curly one. Yo, can we search more clowns? Owen, can you help me out in searching clowns? No, let's do it on the screen. Let's do a on the screen.

Let's do a group decision. Search a clown on Craigslist. Oh, phone numbers, shit. But they're on Craigslist. Yeah, this is good for them. They already put it out there. We're not fucking, we're not doxing people. They need the business. Maybe it'll be a fucking, it'll off a A chain reaction Of people hiring clowns

In the tri-state Let's find a fucking fat clown I gotta go do trivia What? What? You're kidding Why is he scheduling trivia What?

One to two Say no Say no Wait There's trivia now? Is it two? What the fuck? I have to eat before

Eat during trivia Yeah just bring in the food in here No I can't eat Because then people will be mad at me for eating. They'll be mad at you if you leave. We're fucking doing something. It's for Tom. This is for Tom.

You know what? You're right. Yeah. Bring the food in, Brandon. When's his birthday? We're not going to judge you. Can I get my food? Yes.

Yes. You have my permission. If you don't come back, you're dead to us. We'll seriously be seriously pissed. He's not fucking coming back. He's not coming back. That piece of shit, dude. This one brings a bouncy house.

Okay, how big? That's just distracting from him not being funny. But in the background of our big glass, the aesthetic at least would be nice. Yeah. Oh, yes, he is funny. He's not wearing pants. Yeah.

All right. That's a lot of guys. Okay. Hey, okay. Look, that's a hot video editor right there. Look at Josh walking by. Who's this guy? He looks like he edits video.

Josh. Here comes Josh. Here comes Josh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Josh. Actually, the video editors and producers are significantly better looking than the in front of camera people.

We have this topsy turvy. Who's this guy in the suit? Can we get him in here? I think, yeah, that's... Oh, fuck. I applied to be a graphic designer. They're like, no, no, no, no. We're going to throw you in front of the camera. You sending a headshot?

We need you on camera. This guy looks like he might have had some background in clowning. This dude definitely clowned on the bros. That's the guy from the video. The most handsome dudes are clowns now. Is this the cast of The Bachelorette or clowns? Or a bunch of fucking clowns? You've gone this far, and I applaud both of you guys for not making any bozo jokes.

You buried the hatchet with rigs. What joke would I make about Sam? You fucking are always trying to joke on Sam. And you never would do it to your face. And that's how a Molinaro situation rises up. Unbelievable. I actually am. I haven't seen Sam since I started talking about him.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, not once. It's been over a year. So, Joey has fully apologized to me. But if you guys saw the... Take out your mic. Start it over.

Start it over. Joey has apologized to me profusely and feels bad about what happened. But he, if you watch the Dave Portman show, he very much dislikes me and hates me. He don't like you. What did he say? It wasn't what he said. He said everything. He didn't roll the footage?

Right. But it was the fact that the way he was saying it, he's not a Brandon Walker guy. Yeah. There's anger there. And the way he was like, I've seen the Brandon Walker show with Brandon Walker. It seems like the whole Midwest contingent is like, fuck you for naming your show after yourself. It was one thing with Vibs, who also definitely doesn't like you. Correct, yes.

And then you got Molinaro. The whole state of Indiana has fucking beef with you. I think Indiana hates me. The common denominator with all these beefs is that it's always a different person with you. That's the common denominator, is that it's always a different person with you. That's the common denominator is that everybody's different. I'm gonna eat my nuggets. Picking fights.

You don't make fun of somebody's tattoos. There goes Rob. Laughing up. Oh, Jesus. Laughing up. Yeah, that's good. Let's see those upper thighs, Owen. Yeah, let's see them.

Are you going today? Wait, wait, wait. I want to go get a tattoo today. You guys say that maybe three times a week. I know. But today's the day. Today's the day. Every single day. You guys are like, I think we're going to go get a tattoo today. Who just got... You guys say that maybe three times a week. I know. Yeah. But today's the day. It's getting annoying. Today's the day. Every single day. It's getting very annoying. You guys are like, I think we're going to get a tattoo today.

Yeah, let's go get a tattoo. Owen keeps coughing. Let's go get a tattoo. Let's go get a tattoo. I think we're going to go get tattoos today. That's what tattoo guys do. You guys won't understand. You guys are tattoo guys.

Sass and I are... Never get tattoos. We're workout guys. You clean slates with muscle guys. I'm training, KB. Dude, my fucking push-ups have been going down, down, down. They're getting so much harder. Is that normal when you're bulking with weights?

Push-ups are now impossible for me, but I am getting stronger with weights. If you're doing just body weight exercises? No, I'm just push-ups for body weight. But you're doing weights on top of it? Yeah. Well, if you're doing weights on top of it, then you need to doing weights on top of it then you need to have like you need to have let your muscles rest or else they won't fuck what's so funny i just i just like that it's an honest conversation like you guys are entitled to have a tattoo conversation after that i just don't know what my calorie deficit i thought

we agreed that you weren't i know i'm trying so hard and it's fucking just a lot of eating when we and i feel like I'm afraid to get fat. Eventually, the tattoos will have them. You guys have no results. Yeah, ours is instant results. We're jacked. We are. Both of us.

I cannot wait for November 1st. I know. Me too. I saw KB's torso yesterday when we were changing for another video, and his belly button is like hot guy shallow. You know how hot guys have divots of belly buttons. Look at my Kyle XY. It's hardly even there.

I was in the gym yesterday and my arms were looking like fucking mountains. Massive. Which part of your arms? The front or your back? The whole thing. There's a whole range. I've just been on my push up game and it's just doing the triceps well.

Holy shit. Steven, have you seen these guys' arms? They're both in the push-up game. I haven't. Steven, you're back in the push-up game. It's so true. Like, oh, my God. Lifting, working out does wonders for your mental health.

I'm just trying to get it to a point where it does wonders for my neurodevelopmental health. You're trying to refire synapses. Yeah, I want to clean and jerk the autism out of my genes. That's right. I want to bench the burgers away. I'm getting there. I'm getting more normal. Like one day you'll

like, you'll wake up, you'll do push ups and be like, yeah, I'm going to delete the Amtrak bookmark from my computer. Yeah, I don't need you don't need maps.com wait a minute i'm too old for paw patrol oh goodness gracious um did you guys uh little sass you got flamed in a TikTok. Yeah? You got your soul snatched in a TikTok. When? By a new co-worker.

Oh, yeah. I saw that. She said I had to comb my hair. Yeah, she called you Little Yeti. Can we actually... Can we put her in? That's not what she said. She said she wanted to comb your hair. True.

Like a little can-doll. I want to run a comb through your hair. Yeah, like a brat doll. People like to make fun of my hair like they don't realize like this is what it looks like right now is 10 times better what it would than what it would look like if i didn't make it look like this yeah like you mess it up before the cameras start rolling yeah and go like this dude like i'll show you guys what it looks like when i don't wear hair gel it's like just so straight. Like so... Like his dad.

Yeah, I guess so. Oh, yeah. Can we pull that up, though? Can we pull that video up? You got her name and all that? I don't know anything. Jordan Woodruff? I don't know.

Jordan Woodruff. Oh, is Jordan Flamed You? Jordan Flamed You. Jordan actually... She ate. If I could just say it like that she she ate the entire time and uh tell me why she ate so fucking much she got in ksc's ass she got in big cat's ass she got in uh little sass's ass got a little rico in there she got rico in rico's ass and rudy's ass

uh she got in she was just That's the geek. It was. It was the fucking geek, bro. She roasted the fuck out of everybody. Love it. And yeah, it was awesome. Did it hurt your feelings, Saz, when you saw it? No, because she told me she was going to do that before. Oh, really?

So if we tell you we'll do it before, we can't hurt your feelings? Do anything? No. Are still on my first day. Rating? Yeah. First I met Tom Bates. I would give him a 4.3 out of 10.

It was very strange. Below average. He just kept watching himself on TikTok and laughing. Tom Bates. 21K. Then I met Little Yeti. I would give him a 4.3 out of 10. Little Yeti. I just wanted to put a comb through his hair and I wasn't sure why he was named after a

mythical creature. Over-enunciation is kind of my thing. Then I met Maglief. They call him a baby dog. Everyone says he's a pretty big deal, but I've never seen him before or heard of him, so I was a little unimpressed. I would give him a 4.3 out of 10. That's a nag.

She nagged him. So many of the comments were like, if you don't know Big Cat, you don't deserve a job at Barstool. He seemed nice, but once again, he just kept talking and looking at the ring light. I wasn't really sure what was going on, but yeah, that was my first day. Rating. All right, fuck yeah, and I think Nick and I are going to be in the next week i think we are filmed that office theme remix was awesome yeah what did uh what'd she say about you guys we flipped the script what'd you say well you'll have to wait

for the tiktok we introduced ourselves as people we weren't i took one for the team and asked about sophia now that's funny oh there's two of them yeah that was crazy six isn't that the one you're talking about chicken fry such a strange encounter because she kept talking about golf in the weather and i thought brianna's whole brand was being hung over and drinking so i was very confused another 6.4 out of 10. then i met rico basco or bosco not really sure apparently he's a big deal he kept saying the squeezes on i thought was so weird 6.4 out of 10 encounter raiding my core rudy got a 6.4 yeah of course he did this motherfucker he looks like a clown and that's low Rudy does look like a clown

nowadays I guess yeah we're at that point it's one of our fucking clowns society yeah why don't we hire from within no

so we're never it becomes a content thing this isn't content they want the spotlight yeah and then all yeah they're doing clown content.

Yeah. Why don't we just hire Roger Goodell? Say less. I'm playing. Barstool hasn't really tapped the clown market. No. Because we have poker. We have first pictures at baseball games.

We need the clown market. Yeah, why don't we tap into that a little bit more? Whom could we get? Impressions. Yeah, because Barstool, New York. Barstool clowns. Barstool first pitch.

Barstool poker. So I'm going to cancel these clowns. No. Oh, Roan. I'm kind of on board with Roan of course you are what? you haven't wanted the clowns from the jump no I think the clowns are confusing things what are they confusing about?

we always under plan we're over planning it's not about the clowns it should be about the ice cream it was never about the clowns you don't This day should be about the ice cream. It was never about the clowns, dad. You don't get it, Brandon. You never did get it. Dad, I guess you just don't get it, do you? I don't get it.

It was supposed to be about the experience. But I guess now that's ruined. And we're bobbing for drafts. It's going to be a great experience with just us. We don't need other people. Experiences aren't tangible things like bobbing or ice cream. Laughing. Hot clowns.

So what, talk us, talk me and Brandon, the dissenters in the room, through what it's going to be like with the clown here. I think you guys are on board with the clown so much

you're selling for mediocre clowns. I honestly don't know. I think if it goes horribly, that'll be great for the viewers. And if it goes well, They're going to come in. I honestly don't know. I think if it goes horribly, that'll be great for the viewers. And if it goes well, you're going to have a date and Rachel Beam is going to be crying in her spaghetti. Yeah.

Yes. I think best case scenario is they come in here and they fuck each other. You really want these two clowns to fuck. Yeah, for like an hour. See, these guys are on their voyeur shit. They're being voyeuristic about it. Maybe just behind the glass too.

They can just fuck out there and we'll just do the show like nothing's happening I would be down for that if we could somehow make it into like a silhouette show or something like that

and put up like a large wax paper and backlight them and have it be like really artistic or something like that a silhouette porn I could be into that's

that would be the only way that I'd be down with them fucking in the lobby is if we could make it silhouetty and like or maybe make them make a flip book of it or some shit like that. Flipbook porn I'd buy as well.

Yeah, but it's just like you need both hands to go through the flipbook. So it's like how do you touch yourself? That's part of the rush. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You're always edging because as soon as you start jerking off, you forget what the flipbook looks like. But as soon as you go through the flipbook. So we're trying to jack off to a flipbook. That's a skit. That's a good skit idea. The flipbook looks like, but as soon as you go through the flipbook... That's a skit.

That's a good skit idea. The flipbook paradox. We have a bunch of good skits. I think clown frat is good, but I just don't have a single joke. But it's good. You could build it out, though. The flipbook paradox. It's a real thing.

I'm going to cancel. No, you can't cancel the clowns. What are they going to do? If you cancel the two clowns, I'm going to cancel. I'm going to cancel. No, you can't cancel the clowns. What are they going to do? Ron, if you cancel the two clowns, I'm going to come back with five clowns.

We don't have a fucking microphone for them. We don't know where they're going to stand. How are we going to configure the room? We don't have that much room. They're going to mime.

They're not mimes. They're not mimes. But they can mime. We're going to ask these people to mime. No, they can't. What do you mean they can mime?

They can be quiet? Anyone can mime. You're going to ask these people to mime. No, they can't. What do you mean they can mime? They can be quiet? Anyone can mime. You're ruining the magic. Let us just experience the disillusion. I'm sure they have to take a lot of different courses. You don't just take clown... Let's see how it's... They probably do some magic, some miming.

We still got to ask some of these... All right, call them up. Yeah, let's call them up. Let's call them back. Rowan's going to cancel. No, he won't. No, he's not going to cancel. He won't do that.

Do we have a down payment in? While we wait, maybe hit the read, first one. Somebody tell him about... The yak is presented by Sport Clips. A haircut shouldn't feel that relaxing, but it does. It's Sport Clips Haircuts. That's because stylists just don't wash your hair.

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and ask for the MVP haircut experience. It's ridiculously relaxing. Sport Clips, the pros in men's hair. Che, how'd I do? Excellent. Thank you. Kind of stepped on that last line, though, with your own... I actually have a problem with the copy that we need to talk about.

Yeah, let's go to... Che, do you have a second to talk about the copy? For you, always. So, the second sentence is, that's because stylists just don't wash your hair. I think that should be, that's because stylists don't just wash your hair. I think that should be, that's because stylists don't just wash your hair. I think you need to flip those words.

They just don't wash it. They just rub your dry head. Because the way you say it, they just don't wash your hair. So they just won't wash my hair. It's like when Rick Ross said, cry when only babies die. He should have said, only cry when babies die. He doesn't cry when only the babies are the ones that die. You know what I mean?

It's exactly like that. It's just like that. It's like kind of a mis... So... Fix the fucking copy or we're not reading it. Hello? Hello? Hi.

Hey, we're back. We called a little bit earlier about the clowns that we have preserved for Friday. Right, for Friday, yes. For Tommy Walker's party, right? That's right. That's right, yes. And we were told that the clowns aren't traditional clowns, but actually an attractive young lady,

and you sound quite attractive yourself. Are you one of the clowns? No, I am not one of the clowns. You sound like a clown. In the best way possible. No, I mean like in the hot way. Oh, okay. What size shoes do the clowns wear?

What size shoes do the clowns wear? What do you think? Clown size. Clown size. So big. So big. They don't wear clown size shoes. What do you think? Clown size. Clown size. So big. So big. No, no, no. They don't wear clown size shoes.

There were converse in the video. Were the clowns from the video the ones that we'll be getting? I'm not sure what video you saw. For the website. I'm assuming not. No, we have many, many clowns. So you're probably

Going to get someone different Is it busy there? Yeah it is Very actually Really? That's Yeah Where

So The clowns This is probably a stupid question Since you said You're not a clown yourself And sorry about the confusion earlier But The

The clowns aren't there right? Not right now they're not because they go to parties so they just come and then they go oh got it got it and uh we so uh they're and they're like they're do you do you know where like what languages they speak? Because we have some Latvian friends coming through. Yeah, the clowns speak Spanish. We have Russian-speaking ones, Korean-speaking. They're all different. That's a tough time about what he can understand.

And is it any of the traditional stuff like juggling or pies or unicycles? No, that would have to be a special request that we would have to be a special request that we would have to put that in for you. But no, it's just everything

that you see in that email. Face paint, balloon animals, cotton candy, games, singing, dancing, and a magic show. A magic show. And is the male... The male is the magic show The male is the magician

The magician I should have said So the male is the magician So he's not like security Is he part of the clown act Or is it like what's the Yes He's going to be part Their partners

So they'll do the act together So he's a bouncer but more in the sense that he's just jumping around Yeah exactly he's just like a bouncer He's going to be their partners. Their partners. So they'll do the act together. So he's a bouncer, but more in the sense that he's just jumping around. Yeah, exactly. He's just like a bouncer pretty much. Like he's bouncy. Pretty much, yeah. And he has a bunny, so he has to watch the bunny. Oh, there's a bunny.

A rabbit. Yeah, there's a bunny. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, that might change everything. Wait, is he going to pull it out of it? I don't want to ruin it. No, no, never mind. Yeah, I won't reel their tricks, but. Wait, is he going to pull it out of it? I don't want to ruin it. No, no, never mind. Yeah, I can't.

I won't reveal their tricks, but. Okay, okay. What kind of tricks can you do with her? Yeah, I think that that's most of the questions that we have. We had a little trepidation because it wasn't a traditional clown that we were expecting, like a bozo the clown. It's like a hot clown, like you guys are saying. Well, I have a question.

Exactly. So it does everything a traditional clown does except for the makeup, right? Yes. So what's the holdup on the makeup? Minus the juggling and the unicycle. We don't do that. No unicycles for probably danger purposes. We don't need that necessarily.

For insurance reasons, yeah, no unicycle. And no face paint for trauma reasons, scare reasons. Exactly, exactly. See you right on point. So, KB, you have the double unicycle over there. Do you want the... Maybe they could ride that? The tandem unicycle that you have? So we have a bicycle. Okay.

Could they ride that? Yeah, does it have ride that? Yeah. Does it have training wheels? No. Oh, no. Sorry. It's electric. It goes a little bit faster.

All right. So you've assuaged some of our fears, and we were going to cancel, but we're not going to cancel. We're going to go ahead and stick with you guys. Yes. And we really appreciate it. Of course. We can't wait.

Can you send me the link to where I can find this information? What information? Everything that's going on. Do you guys have a YouTube channel, you said, or a podcast?

I don't think we ever said that. We did. A podcast, yes. We have a podcast. If you just type in the yak. Interesting. The yak? Yak.

The yak. The yak. The barstool yak? Sure. Yep, that's the yak. The yak? Yak. The yak. The yak. The barstool yak? Sure. Yep, that's the one. Really? Yeah. Interesting, interesting.

All right, well, it sounds good. Oh, Twitter, 23 hours ago. I see it. I see it already. What was the tweet on Twitter that they said 23 hours ago? I see Friday at 12. We got a picture of Bozo. We got some ice cream.

We got the little kid with the cigarette and a kidnapping. I'm excited to see this. Can you like it or retweet it? Yeah, we need the engagement. I will like it and retweet it for you. No problem. If they want to know what to expect, it's basically going to be

one child, seven adults, an ice cream contest, basically, where we're going to be making our own sundaes with untraditional ingredients. We wanted a little bit of clowns, and there's going to be a lot of cigarettes. Deal. Deal. It sounds great. I think that they're going to love it. So the clowns won't stop the boy from smoking, will they?

No, they won't. Good clowns. They'll encourage it. Oh, okay. Wait, do they smoke? No worries. I don't know. You'll see when they get there.

It will be a surprise. And can we look up who the clowns are, and do we know which languages we'll be getting? Any Eastern European, right, or Colombian? I can put a request in there for that. We can request Eastern European? Yeah, well, Spanish-speaking, is that what you're— We can request either Spanish-speaking or Eastern European would be our two—

Yes. By far a significant gap between the third. Sure thing. I will put that—I'll put that in there. Perfect. And see what they can do for you. But, you know, not a deal-breaker. by far a significant gap between the third. I'll put that in there and see what they can do for you. But, you know, not a deal breaker. They're not going to be using whoopee cushions, are they? Because I don't want to get clowned like that. If you provide it, then they will.

Can I ask a question? How old are the kids generally that these people entertain? Are we talking like 6 to 8-year-olds? What's the age range here? I would say like two to 12 is the range. Right. Okay. So Tommy's 11. Tommy's 11.

Okay. Yeah. But you can't really age out of like laughter. No, you can't. You never could. You can't. Even you guys will enjoy it. Yes.

Awesome. Yes. You will. You will. You will you will and i'm gonna be watching now i'm gonna give you guys to follow and i'm gonna see what happens on friday yes you have to you gotta watch you gotta follow along and i think it'll be great publicity for the good folks over at clowns.com we'll probably call back tomorrow all right well thank you so much, and I will hear from you guys tomorrow then.

Thanks for being here. Appreciate you. Have a good one. You too. Bye-bye. We are accomplishing so much on these

shows. We forgot to ask about tightrope walking. Don't do it. Do clowns tightrope walk? Ron, when you

said the thing about... You want a whole circus. About how you thought she was the clown because she sounded hot. I almost had to leave the room. That was so uncomfortable. What, you can't say somebody has a hot voice anymore? Yeah, what's next?

I was paying her a compliment, saying she sounded like a clown. I think she took it the wrong way, though. Yeah, she did. Yeah, I think she did. No, I think she took it the right way. You think she took it the wrong way, though. Yeah, she did. Yeah, I think she did. No, I think she took it the right way. You just probably said it the wrong way. Yeah, she can't take a joke, man. Comedy's dead, bro.

Comedy's fucking dead, man. Can't get away with shit anymore. Well, it's the cancel culture that fucking pisses me off, man. Always trying to cancel me because I'm trying to fucking make a joke. Yeah. Fucking bullshit. So cooler heads prevailed. So we're gonna...

So cooler heads prevailed and we're gonna keep the clowns. We're gonna keep the clowns. What are we gonna do with them, though? Like, what are we gonna... Stop worrying about that. I am worried about it. We gotta make a...

We haven't given... Make our Sundays our job. We haven't given one thought to the ice cream. We haven't given one thought to the ice cream. I did. I have some ingredients already.

Who's getting the buckets then? Who's gonna get the fat-ass I did. I have some ingredients already. Who's getting the buckets then? Who's going to get the fat ass buckets? I'm getting a vat. Does that answer your fucking question? Yeah. It's pretty direct. Yeah, it does. A vat.

What's your guys' ingredients going to be? I'm not saying. I can't do it. Tomatoes? Shit! Fuck. Not sun dried tomatoes either. I want a fucking fat one.

A pomodoro. A tomato and ice cream wouldn't be bad. What about a tomatillo? It'd be fine. Tomatillo would be nice. Ice cream? It'll be all right. I think anything you add to it, it'll be okay.

Would cherry tomatoes work, or does the C? Jersey tomato. No, no, no. Any tomato. It'd be like a tendance. Tomato comma cherry. Okay. Or like tenderloin.

I'm not going to make my shit gross. No, I'm going to make mine palatable. Yeah. Tash, what are you about to bring in? I have no idea. You brooding over there? He is brooding. He is brooding.

What was that all about? I don't know. You weren't brooding for a whole hour. Now all of a sudden you're brooding. I don't know. Two o'clock hits. whole hour now you're all of a sudden you're brooding i don't know two o'clock hits brood time yeah i clocked out fuck now i got a lot i got shit to do oh you're thinking about your show tonight yeah i don't want to do it fuck what uh i don't want to go what are you gonna say thinking about getting real racist on it yeah yeah that's hilarious yeah

taking things to the next level I heard like the Nepalese are are ripe to be clowned that's right no one ever clowns them

maybe I'll ask if I can get the clown to do my set instead of me that would be funny they'd be like Sass is a genius for this yeah I couldn't make it

so I sent a clown that would be that would be very funny that'd be some mad ass shit all right walker's gotta go so let's join him low's giving you a look yeah d low actually just herded you like a fucking sheep dog he just like walked a lap around you fucking sheep all right we're out of here i'm actually looking for the room. More clown shit tomorrow. And, uh, yeah, we'll be back with, uh, we'll be back with that clown shit.

And sorry to that lady for calling you a clown. I didn't, I just meant you were hot. Yeah, I meant you were in the best way. I just meant you were a hot ass clown.

Alright. Alright, peace. It's the act. Thank you. Yeah, it's time to stock shop and do a Yankees-Bob is the Act.