The Yak - We Plan Sas' 21st Birthday Case Race Extravaganza | The Yak 4-11-22

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

10XYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa! The whole squad is back. Yes, sir. The entire squad is here. Full deck, type shit. Day ones.

I don't like that we don't have anything in front of us here. Nobody's ever really seen your bulge before. With all the bulge talk we do, you've kind of been immune. Ooh. Hello. He's pitching age talk we do, you've kind of been immune. Ooh. Hello. He's pitching a tent. Homina, homina. Looks like a circus tent.

Yeah, two toddlers. We need to get a star. We need to get a star in front of our penis. That little dot right there. All right. I don't like the angle. Look at the angle. What's with the angle? I feel like I turned my back on KB.

Yeah, so they tinted the windows. I feel like it looked good before. It looks dark now. Yeah, it looks... Is there a way to untint them? So people can't see inside. Is this Jersey Jerry? Did he do this?

Yeah. I've heard a rumor they might be half-untinting. Half-untinting? Like, untinting one wall and not the other. Like when cops pull you? Is this a smoking room now? I think so. Well, no one can see inside, so it kind of can do anything.

But these TVs, they're lowered by a pretty significant margin, yeah. So the reason for that is so that when there's an ad on the TV behind your head, you used to not be able to see the ad at all. Now you can see it pretty much. Why don't we just have Nick get them tattooed on his forehead? That works, too. That's a good idea. Wait, so you guys are back.

I didn't expect to see you two today, Nick and KP. What's up, goofball? Get out of here. We've been out. I thought you guys were. What is that? What do you got? Shark tooth?

What do you got? Shark tooth? Is that shark tooth? Yes, they took my shark tooth. Mine was massive. I got merch. Can we see it? Can we see the shark tooth?

Shark tooth? Oh, look at that thing. Hold up to the mic. Smack it into the mic a little. That one ain't even big. Wait, so how long are you guys back for? Like, I thought I saw a ghost where I saw Nick today. One week.

And then? Chicago. And then? Which will be where Joey's at there. And then back. And then back in New York. No, we canceled the case race. What?

Why don't we do the case race? I'm not going race. What? Why don't we do the case race? I'm not going to be here. Why don't we do the case race? Where are you going to be? Austin. What? Moon Tower. Oh.

Tickets in my bio on Instagram. Nice. Yeah. That's got to be a barstool initiative, right? Yeah. What's that for? I'm just trying to grow the game. Baseball?

What game? Stand-up. The game is growing. Why don't we do the case race today? We could do it today. You know what? Why don't we just do the case race without sass? Oh.

I mean, that would be kind of funny. That feels cool. Yeah, I know. But you should be here. Why don't we just do it one of the days this week, if everyone's going to be here? What was the... Something's off. Can't do it on Friday, because I's going to be here. Something's off.

Can't do it on Friday because I've got to be sharp on Saturday. He's got some compliment rap battle on Saturday. Let's do it on Thursday. I want to be there, Ron,

in the crowd. Hell yes. Oh, is that what you've got to be sharp for? Yes. You have so much time. On Friday, if I'm hungover on Saturday,

that's how you wind up fucking up during your rap battle. I know from experience. I'm looking forward to this particularly because my only qualm with rap battles is that it's very mean to the person who loses. Or even the person who wins gets some mean shit said to them. Exactly. And I hate people getting dissed. No, you don't.

No, you don't. You fucking your whole thing crude dissing? You slaughtered the Stefano. Hold on. You won't even be hungover, though, see. You fucking your whole thing crew dissing? You slaughtered the Stefano. Hold on. You won't even be hungover, though, because we're going to drink it during the day. But the difference with this one is that you guys won't be dissing each other. It'll be a battle of wits and creativity that is complimentary. Which is harder.

Which is harder, but better for every party. In a difficulty sense. I think he's back. Nice. I got my coffee. Wait, so. I'm telling you that if I get fucked up on Saturday. You've never done a compliment.

Thank you so much. Oh, I got two. Maybe it's way less pressure. Anyone else want one? Or is that yours? That's yours. No, that's yours. No, you take it.

You need to drink it. You need to drink it all. Your shoe game is whack. No, don't say that. Sorry, we're in the battle rap. We're in battle rap. Compliment. It's compliment. The thing is, also, if Roan is drinking on Friday,

very drunk Saturday, one of his opponents could bring him a Gatorade. Imagine that. Oh, damn. Or body armor. Uh-huh. That would be nice of him if he did that. I think we should do it Friday. If we can't do it Friday, why don't we just do it

any other day this week? Well, because, I don't know, Thursday I have shit. Yeah, he has shit on Thursday. I have to do an interview after the show. That would be a good interview. Friday. Friday. Friday.

What if you just lose? Because it'll set back what I'm trying to do in my life. Just what? Hang out with your fucking boys? I'll have a loss hanging over my head for the three years it takes to do another one of these, and it's just going to fucking bother me. What if we get drunk at like 4 o'clock?

Dude, I've played this game before. I've played this exact game before. What if I bought you a gram of cocaine? Cocaine won't do it because I have extended release Vyvanse that fucking is quite stronger than cocaine. So you'll be fine. That's a harder drug. Nobody ever talks about that.

It's way harder of a drug than cocaine. It's significantly better and stronger. Not better. I hate it. It makes me feel way worse. I'd prefer the cocaine, but that's just... You're a creative. That doesn't help you be creative. It just helps you do tedious work. Exactly.

Which preparing for a rap battle sometimes is. So Friday? I will respectfully declare it. I'll be on somebody's team. They will have to drink all but... They'll have to drink if it's a 24-pack, 22 of the beers. Could you do... Okay. You wouldn beers could you do okay why don't you wouldn't even drink three why don't you split the zips with me and just put back 12 of them

yeah zips 0.0 okay oh i'm about thursday night thursday that could be fun thursday night have a b friday show i'm down for that i I'd do Thursday night. I would do that. Would everyone do Thursday night? KB and I are out of town. That would be interesting. That would be people would be mad if we taped it and just released it. Unedited. Unedited.

Completely unedited. Completely unedited. Scouts honor. We'll put a clock behind us. Yeah, we'll all be holding today's newspaper. Can we get a vote, TJ? Would people be cool with a Friday case race that was taped on Thursday night and we just got fucking wasted? Guaranteed Roan blackout.

Guaranteed. Let's put out a poll yes or no. I think that would actually be very funny if we did it like 8 o'clock on Thursday night. What results do we need to do it? 60-40? 60-40? 65-35? I think 60. 70. 70. It's basically either that or we're to do it? 60-40? 60-40? 65-35? I think 60.

70. 70. It's basically either that or we're not doing it, right? I think. For a while. Yeah. 72. Wouldn't we do it next Friday?

And then we do it. Oh, fucking Rone's got some other thing he's got to be ready for. No, that's when I'm out. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I got in the blame Rone game there. No, I did. I do have something else.

It's really convenient to say this is out. You're going somewhere. Yeah. I missed you guys. I missed you. Nick and KB with their fucking wacky-ass bits, dude. Yeah, dude. We were lacking.

We were wacky. It was normal brain central around here. Yeah, it must have been. We just had to bring Jerry in and prank him. Void of wacky. That was great. Hot dog was great. I'm like actually low-key a little sad today knowing that Jerry's not here that I can't

just sneakily give him a hot dog. There's got to be a way still. He's in line to do his taxes. I want to prank him so bad. I'm going to start just giving him hot dogs at all hours. I either want to prank him or beat his brains in. Why? I don't know.

He was a little bit sad on Monday. He doesn't deserve a brain beating. Maybe you should. You should just start Uber Eats-ing one hot dog every 10 minutes to his house. Just start timing them out so they just keep arriving. Just a parade of dogs?

Yeah. You wouldn't like... But I think you've got to give him one real gift just to keep his antennas up. Just so he can sometimes expect Cartier glasses and the rest of the time it's just hot dogs. gift just to keep his antennas up just so he can sometimes expect Cartier glasses, and the rest of the time it's just hot dogs,

just a merciless barrage of Franks. Dogs in his face. Yeah, Frank is going to be competing on Thursday. See if he can beat Stephen Che. That was impressive by Steve. Steve? Well. In that Navy-ass room in there.

Steve's done a lot of things. In the Navy. Steve has got a lot of things he's got to do. In the Navy. Steve has had a tough couple days. Why a couple days? Well, your silence on Schefter has been deafening. I didn't see it. Not the silence.

We can transcribe. It must have been deleted. It's everywhere still. The only thing you consume is his content. How did you not see it? I saw it like a thousand times. He released the edited one that I sent on our group text. you consume is his content. How did you not see it? I would like... I saw it like a thousand times. He released the edited one that I sent on our group text

that was fine. But Che, you did have a take on the Schefter tweet and article. Yes. So for people who don't know... We can read it out loud. So for the Stephen Chays out there who may be not aware of what's happening in the world... You can't pluralize Stephen Chays.

This is the one thing he's supposed to know. I know it is the one thing. It's the one thing he follows. It's football, yeah. Dwayne Haskins. More specifically, Schefter. Yeah, Dwayne Haskins tragically passed away on Saturday. Quarterback for the Steelers, former quarterback for the Redskins football team.

I don't know what. Most importantly, he is a young man who tragically passed away. Tragically passed away. And Adam Schefter tweeted out essentially saying like duane haskins oh here it is duane haskins stand out ohio state before struggles struggling to catch on with washington and pittsburgh in the nfl completely unnecessary like dude such a weird thing to say i also i have a separate take that is just it's very weird to me that the entire day then became dunking on Schefter when it's like the guy tragically died like why not remember him instead of it's just the internet sucks sometimes where everyone's like oh let me just spend all a Saturday dunking on Schefter

which completely like covers up the tragic passing but Steven missed all of this I did I think right who said it in the? Someone said in the text that we need an apology on behalf of Adam Schefter from Stephen Che via Dickie V voice. Totally right. Totally right. I don't remember who said that. I don't remember who said that, but it was great. I don't know how you could not have seen that. I do think he's lying as well.

I think you saw it. No, I absolutely did not see it. I did see like cancel Schefter, but I was like, what? What did you see that day? I went out to a kid's birthday party. If not Adam Schefter's tweets, what did you see that day? I went to a kid's birthday party, and I was paying attention to a basketball game. Wait, did we just break news to you that Dwayne Haskins passed away?

No, I saw that he passed away, but I didn't, like, somebody, a few people sent me, like, a text, like, he died, but I didn't, I mean, that's the end of it. Like, I didn't read about how he died. Like, I was doing other things, so. What do you mean that's the end of it like i didn't read about how he died like i was doing other things so what do you mean that's the end of it no life after death i follow like four i follow like big cat he's the only person i follow who like tweets about sports and i saw the tweet like 75 times on my timeline yeah i wasn't on again i was out i was driving so apologize in dickie v's voice but that's also not true because you had a lot of tweets that day and the following day. Those were... Those were scheduled?

No, those were... Reactionary? Those were like at stoplights, like checking the score the second half of the game. So I'm not super proud of that. Okay. You're driving all day. I would apologize. Literally was.

I would like you to apologize for that as well. So double apology One on behalf of Adam Schefter Two on texting while driving Have you guys heard of Dickie V? It's really I was hoping I wouldn't have to be here physically for it Do you want a second

To actually write down How you're going to apologize I guess I guess I could just go straight from it. Okay, so make sure you get the video on Che here so we can release this from the Yak Twitter account.

Look at the camera, at least. Look at the family. Be a man. This indigo paint is... We need to put something on the wall. We need to get art pictures. It might be depressing in there. Send art to the office.

We need a painting of Stephen Che behind Stephen Che. In front of a painting of Stephen Che. Tasteful nude. Apologizing in the Dickie V voice is tough, so I'll try and do the Dickie V speaking voice. Do you want to warm up? You can warm up with Dickie V and get yourself in it. I only really know the Dickie V speaking voice. Do you want to warm up? You can warm up with Dickie V and get yourself in it. I only really know that Dickie V

speaking voice talking like Greeny and Golic. Can we get him a harmonica to get his pitch right? Greeny, Golic, let me tell you about my Tampa Bay Rays, Mr. Longoria. Okay.

Are you ready? Go, go, go, go. Yep, yep. More of that. More of that. Now mourn Dwayne Haskins in that voice. So am I Adam Schefter or am I apologizing on behalf of him? On behalf of Adam Schefter. Yeah, as an ESPN employee, Dickie V.

And also remember, you have to also apologize on behalf of Stephen Che. For having his phone out at a red light. In this hypothetical, Dickie V knows who you are. Yes. My good friend. Dickie V's trotted out. This is essentially when Tiger Woods had to have his press conference where he's like, I like sex too much.

You have to basically have a press conference right now apologizing for Adam Schefter and Stephen Che. Okay. Got it? A very sad day on Saturday with the passing of a young man, Mr. Dwayne Haskins.

I mean, this guy was a PTP, a prime time player. He's doing AAV. The Ohio State Buckeyes. First round draft pick. Tragically killed. I'd like to apologize on behalf of my colleague Mr. Adam Schefter

For his Insensitivity In the tweet that was later deleted Also on behalf of Steven Che A little more energy I'd like to apologize on his behalf For texting Tweeting on behalf of Stephen Che. A little more energy. A little more energy. A little more energy. I would like to apologize on his behalf for texting, tweeting

at a red light following James Harden's under 22 and a half points, which he hit. Thank you. Alright. That was bad Don't clip the first part

Where you actually talked about Dwayne Haskins Because that will look bad It wasn't part of the assignment Oh yeah just the I thought that was What I was supposed to do No

You were apologizing For the insensitive Schefter tweet And then you did like An insensitive Actually can you apologize For yourself for what you just did Apologize for Stephen Chay

Doing a Dickie V voice In gym room Are you serious? So, yeah, clip from the apology. I'd like to apologize for Adam Schefter. Don't put in the Dwayne Haskins memorial that you just did in Dickie V's voice because that will look bad. While smiling ear to ear.

Yes. How am I supposed to do a Dickie V voice and not smile? You have to smile ear to ear. You am i supposed to do to keep you with us to keep you guys and not smile you have to smile you can't just be frowning and that was only like half of what steven did today because uh he also just two weeks later has found out that taylor hawkins has passed away of the food fighters yeah yeah that one was what a way does everybody know that? What a way to eulogize Taylor Hawkins by saying his band is nowhere near the level of Talina's Red Hot Chili Pepper. The best was I just wrote back, can you pull up the tweet? Because I was like, Steven. His response to your first tweet was the worst one.

Yeah, he was like, what? Not even fucking close. Not even in the same fucking stratosphere, big cat. He thought that like the, what festival was it? I don't even know. He thought the festival was like, yeah, actually, let's, we got Red Hot Chili Peppers. They're way better than Foo Fighters. I gotta cut a band.

I gotta cut Foo Fighters. Heck of a job by Jazz Fest pulling Red Hot Chili Peppers. Upgrade. The one under this. As if, as if Jazz Fest, yeah, was like, oh shit, we got Red Hot Chili Pe upgrade. The one under this. As if Jazz Fest, yeah, was like, oh shit, we got Red Hot Chili Peppers. Way better. Like, look, he thought you were...

Red Hot Chili Peppers and Foo Fighters not even close, really. Oh, man. This is in the exact same vein as Shepter's tweet. Yeah. But I... No, I was unaware. Yeah, I know.

You were unaware, blissfully. Do you really think that about the Foo Fighters? They're that much worse? Chili Peppers are great. Chili Peppers are one of my top three favorite bands. But the Foo Fighters, they're... Oh, he's right. He is right.

Chili Peppers are way better. Yeah, he's right. Well, and he's also... Chili Peppers just had a new record. But he's also right because the Foo Fighters don't have a drummer right now. Yeah. I mean, Dave Grohl. I don't know any of the Foo Fighters guys by name outside of Dave Grohl.

Like, technically, Steven's correct. I mean, not Chili Peppers. the Foo Fighters guys by name outside of Dave Grohl. Like, technically, Steven's correct. Red Hot Chili Peppers blow Foo Fighters' fans drummer out of the water. You're going to have to play unplugged sets every time. Steven, what a... Do you think it's dangerous to be this informed? That was, like, on the news, though. Yes. That wasn't just, like, a Twitter story. No, it was everywhere. That wasn't just a Twitter story.

It was everywhere. It was headline news. Nowhere near my feed. It was probably on newspapers in your house and stuff. It was a huge deal. I didn't get any newspapers. Your kid probably knows it.

I just checked. Thankfully, Chadwick Boseman's character, Chalo, will not be recast. Oh, yeah. Upgrade! Upgrade! Thank God. Okay. I mean, yeah, Foo Fighters are a very big band,

and I guess the drummer tragically passed. I don't know exactly what from, but... Does it matter? You said very big. Can you just admit they were a good band? Or no? I hope you don't. Are the Foo Fighters good?

They have some pretty good songs. Their hair is cool. They have cool hair. Right. Yeah. No, I'm definitely more of a Chili Peppers guy, so I don't think it's remotely fair to compare them. But I don't even think... Are Chili Peppers and Foo Fighters in the same...

No. Not even close. It's not like a beatles rolling stone debate like oh you like the food fighters i've always been more chili peppers but they're one or the other pick one music drums they are both music that is music you could it's not like biggie and tupac chili peppers yeah i've been listening to a lot of chili peppers lately because i just had a new album drop about a week and a half ago I heard it wasn't great

you heard wrong cool Steven that your favorite band still has all it's members alive I'm sorry to Robbie and Chuck and everybody how about the band I apologize to their fans

I legitimately had no idea I don't know the name of their drummer. I just said it. I just said it. Who cares? Taylor something. It's your opinion. Oh, no.

I just don't know how you didn't hear about it. Taylor something. I'm fine with that. We shouldn't mourn people we don't know. No, I agree with you there. Yeah. I think it's funny. Yes.

No, I agree that there is that, like, people like to just tweet about someone dying. It's like, you have no connection. I'm a terrible person, and I screenshotted Dwayne's follow count. Of course you did. One of the first things I thought about. Anybody we know? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. How many do we work with? They're probably going're probably gonna listen to this or hear this so just know that stop following people after they die how many how many do you gain a lot it's a very bizarre that is bizarre you do chase ambulances though i do yeah i'm i'm no i'm no prize i'm the one i'm the one who sees that and immediately resorts to that route. So I'm worse than them. So I'm not going to call them out.

You just did. But it's cool, though. It's cool. That's your lane, and that's their lane. Yeah, give us some names because I really want to know, too. Yeah, I can't not. Come on. Write it down.

I'll say it. This is not about me. No. Write it down. I'll say it. I'm a rap player. I'm assuming that. This is not about it. No. Write it down. I'll say it. I'm a rap addict. I'm assuming that no one, the people we know follow him. Or Instagram, his Instagram skyrocketed.

Was it Ohio State? No. He's already following him? I don't want to get on his bad side. Is it Big F? Nah, I've had him. I've had him down. Was it me?

It was you. Oh, Big Cat. I don't think I did, but I might have. Yeah. Adam down. Was it me? It was you. Oh. Oh, pig cat. I don't think I did, but I might have. Yeah, you did. Shit. Because there's always a chance that somebody runs their account post-haste. Yeah.

Post-humus. Post-humus. I don't blame you. I get it. It happens a lot. That happened for a football player? Kurt Cobain still has an active account. Michael Jackson is spamming my tag.

I have him muted. Michael Jackson is just memeing everyone to death. Jesus Christ. He's got his finger on the pulse. Kurt Cobain. On his own. Michael Jackson is so funny. He's going crazy on his phone.

I need to mute my dead homie. He's wildin'. How long can you schedule tweets out for? A long time. I think like years in advance. Lowe has it down to a science. Yeah. Lowe does?

FD Lowe's been pushing back his queen. He's had the queen graphic since like 14. Really? Looked at the file back his queen. He's had the queen graphic since, like, 14. Really? Looked at the file date, yeah. That's twisted. What, uh... So he can be the first? Oh, yeah.

You saw Lowe at the Rainforest Cafe, no? That's right. Yeah, tell us everything about your trip. How was your trip? Yeah. The thing is, we didn't even invite Lowe. He was just there. He just walked in.

He was just there at the Rainforest Cafe. Under the waterfall. Big frog, yeah. Yeah. Rainforest Cafe was wild. It was a sensory overload for one of us One of the two of us Did you use your blanket? The thunderstorm happened

They do like scheduled thunderstorms That sound ridiculous They sound like real thunderstorms The tech is there They timed it out to rush you too Like 45 minutes apart San Antonio is a very interesting city. You eat a lot of chips?

A lot of chips. Why? What do you mean? There's chips there? Yeah. I chipped myself to death when I went to San Antonio. What? The thing about San Antonio is they don't have a lot of homeless, but the ones that

they have are aggressive. Oh, yeah. As fuck. There's no denying they're homeless. I had a seat just next to my window at the hotel, and I was watching this one guy just grab all day. Grabbing who? Grabbing people. Everybody.

Everybody walking by. Yeah, aesthetically, it was awesome. Was he a wrestler? Maybe. Are you sure? Texas is years behind in wrestling. Really? They play football.

Which would make sense to wrestle in the different season. No, but they have off-season football there. Here's Kyle at the Rainforest Cafe. They thought it was his birthday. Are you wearing a gimp mask? What is that mask? I don't know. They maybe put a...

Is that a beak? They maybe put, like, fucking cups in my mouth. They wanted you to be a toucan. Oh, yeah. I got the fish there and got sick that night. I would imagine. What cut?

I got a classic snapper. San Antonio. Are those in-house? Yeah. Yeah. So we went to the boxing match, and boxing is pretty cool. Like wrestling, they don't really take it to the ground. It can get boring, which is a part of good sports,

is when you have elite competitors who are both so good at every position, defensively and offensively, that it creates a boring outcome. There was a match where everybody was booing and Kyle was standing clapping. There was like three punches in the whole match. The highlight was the weigh-ins for me. I love that. You was the weigh-ins for me. I love that. I love that. You do love weigh-ins.

It was like 95% Hispanic, which was a cool cultural experience. There was a goth hooters. What? Yeah. All black? Oh, I didn't know those were actually real. I've heard of them. What does that mean?

What does that mean? It's for goth broads or? Goth women. Yeah. Whoa. And goth men? No goth women. Yeah. Whoa. Goth men? No goth. No.

Hell no. Okay. And our. Employees are goth girls. Employees are goth girls. Do they wear orange? No. Black.

What? Yeah. What? Can I get the address of this place? Yeah. I can get it to you. But KB went. TJ, how did the poll go?

Yes. All right. So done. Cool. So Friday, we will have a case race. What are the percentages? I can't see. That will air on Friday that we will tape on Thursday night. Is everyone good with that? Everyone can work Thursday night?

Yeah. I'm going to go home and I'll come back. Let's start at like 8 o'clock. We're going to eat a nice little dinner. Why don't we get a dinner together? We could all strap GoPros onto ourselves and get mobile. Yeah. All right, this will be fun.

We got to figure out the teams and everything. We got to get Dana Beer to do it. Okay, I have to make the app, our app, public. Oh, okay. No, I don't think you should.

I don't think you should. Why? Why do you want to? Well, the guy who made it, my phone's dead, but I would shout him out. He's been working tirelessly. It's 120. Why is your phone dead because he has an iphone 5 and he refuses to get a new one great

question it's the middle of the day yeah it's always dead it's all it just stays dead dead or on on charge it died when we were in kansas doing like the man on the street and kb was just gone for the next 20 hours we We just, he does that. He leaves that. That video was great by the way. It was unreal. Oh, thank you.

Is there a thunderstorm? Yeah, it was fun to do that. Kansas. I'm sorry. Not that one moment. It rounds the curse. I literally,

I think we're gods. Me and Nick. I felt like that for a while too. Between the, just there'll be someone else that's tired. Eventually that will make you feel your mortality. I'm not saying, I'm not saying the content.

I'm saying the fact that we were there. I know, that's what I'm talking about. St. Peter's and then Kansas, who were down 15 at half. Boxer lost. But he did. He made a million dollars. He got you as a friend. He made a million USD. He got you as a friend he made a million USD he's going back to Accra

and he will be the most famous person there they were killing him in the comments though they were like who is this Circle K clerk they were like who is this Uber Eats driver but it doesn't matter he took Ryan Garcia 12 rounds that's some Rocky mentality shit

that you have going on right now and rumor has it he might get another fight in the U.S. He probably will. One million USD? He's set. No. Oh, no, he got 300 for the fight. No one even gave him anything.

He was minus 2,000 on the odds. Yeah. I love this moment. So he's with gone and men. Two. There were two gone and men total. Leaves him. Blood all over my rank. He said There were two gone in men total. I have blood all over my ring

for a second. He said that he pulled me in. He was like, hey, I let you down. I was like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Then he said he loved me. I said, I love you too.

Then I pull away and then he pulls me back in. He said, between you and I, I could have won in the first round. That's awesome. He could have. He threw the fight. No, no, no. He was joking. He's a legend. He threw the fight. That's on him.

Oh, no, no. He was joking. Oh, so he threw the fight. People don't understand how hard boxing is. I think they do. Everybody does. His face was the size of two faces. Why is he getting fucking people talking shit on both Garcia and-

That's what fans do. I hate that. I hate sports fans, I guess. You should look at the comments under any ESPN post. Yeah. It's terrible. People are so mean to Kevin Durant and shit. Oh, yeah.

Much less LeBron. Poor guy. That poor guy. Poor LeBron. Should we spin the wheel? Oh, yeah. Jeff also sent me this video of KB. No, no, no.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, this is your first thunderstorm. Oh, is that part of the experience? Oh, no. Literally in the name. Is that real? That was genuine. Oh, that's awesome.

You guys hear about that explosion in Times Square? That was nuts When? Did you see the video? Manhole blew up Yeah When? Yesterday

Whoa Fucking crazy The explosion is so loud Did you hear it? Did the thing blow off? I don't know I just heard about it last night And I was looking at all these videos

That's the shit that happens in cartoons Isn't that what happened? It happens in real life Riley Coyote Oh is it the same thing? That's the shit that happens in cartoons. Isn't that what happened? It happens in real life. It's on Riley Coyote. Oh, is it the same thing? That's the biggest difference. Cartoons in real life. I didn't know that.

Explosions are funny and then scary. Yes. Pianos falling on your head, not fun. Yeah. When the keys make your freaking teeth. Yeah. Or an anvil just flattens you. Turn into an accordion man.

Oh, that kills me every time. Just a lump pops up on the top of your head and birds start flying around it i'm trying to think what else you guys missed oh we're gonna do an escape room episode man that's gonna be sick so we did decide we talked about on the text but we're gonna try to get ahead of any shows that where the majority of us are out so we'll do the escape room as an extra show that we can just break in case of emergency. Love to. Owen, how was shopping day? It was good. Shopping day

was fun. Shopping day looked very exciting. Looks awesome. Quiggs throws that every year. He's too afraid to buy socks and boxers by himself. Oh. So he gets everyone and we all do it together. It's like my least favorite thing to buy clothes alone. Why? No, it's...

Why? I hate shopping with other people. Oh, no, no. It means you have to slow down. No, you're right, you're right. I prefer it alone, but I just hate when people... The staff comes up to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say, no thanks, pal. Just looking. Just browsing. I know, it just pisses me off. I say, back off, chief. I ask you if you're finding everything okay. Yeah.

And I say, that's not your fucking business. Yeah. Mind your fucking business. Get the fuck out of my business. You just have to wait and see, huh? I'm into anthropology for the sense and for fucking nothing else. Dan, what'd you cop at shopping day? I got a single t-shirt.

I got a Reba McIntyre t-shirt. Oh, yes. You love that. Urban? Yeah. Doesn't sound... Yeah. Sounds like an Urban Outfitters shirt.

Oh, yeah. He licensed it out. It feels... Some people got some grails, though. We stopped at Harley Davidson. They sell bulletproof vests. Anybody buy one? No. They sell bulletproof vests. Anybody buy one? No.

They sell bulletproof vests? I left. That seems like some shit Rudy would walk into the office with. Like that and like a dress. Everybody would be like, Rudy looks so sick. Rudy's just Dennis Rodman.

That's so true. It was wild. Everyone was getting like black t-shirts at each spot. And then yeah, Rudy would just get something absurd. Put it wild. Everyone was getting like black t-shirts at each spot. And then, yeah, Rudy would just get something absurd. Yeah. Put it on.

He was changing store to store. He put it on right away? Yeah. I like that move. Just leave the clothes behind in the next store that you go to? No bag? No. I love that.

If like a hot guy like hits on you, he's like a player. And if an ugly guy, he's like a felon of a ugly guy he's like he's a creep a felon of a creep yeah you just can't be horny unless you're hot yeah by the way

I forgot Brandon is not here yeah where is he he might never come back so is that that doesn't matter for the case race he wasn't gonna drink

oh he's in Mississippi his birthday's Wednesday he wasn't gonna drink he wasn't gonna drink he may have drank three beers and then gone home. This is not even...

He's fine. We got to figure out the rules. His little sis did a great job rolling with the big dogs this past week. She was with you guys. It was me, Nick, Corey, and Caitlin. She was in

Carolina with us. She was in Carolina with us, too. Yeah, she was in Carolina. She keeps up. She's been jet-setting, one thing. Did you guys have extended conversations with her? Define extended. I shouldn't ask you. Well, for you, it would have been like 30 seconds.

No, no, no. We spoke in utterances. You made her laugh really hard. You did too. No, no. Not like you. Oh, wow. I don't know.

Who made her laugh more? KB, but it was like, KB was just like, I'm going to get tacos tonight. And then she started laughing really hard. And I was like, yeah. KB's a funny guy.

She knows what my diet is. Boy, cracks jokes. Hilarious that I would risk caloric surplus for tacos. Were they really good? Was it a beat here? They were good. They were better in San Antonio. San Antonio was weird.

It was like Facebook. 2013 Facebook. It is a very war town. Yeah. And the Riverwalk. Was aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, but it's very weird because every restaurant is kind of a tourist place, but it's not. Everything's a chain.

There was a two-hour wait for Bubba Gump shrimp. You guys hang out with Chaps? We do. Nice. Went to the fight with Chaps. Yeah, the Riverwalk is very artificial looking. It looks like something that should be at Disney. Right.

Because it is fake. But it's just like people are drunk. No. Oh, really? I was there for the Final Four. No, people were not. They were fat. Yes.

Oh, you're on your Charles Barkley shit? We did a video on that. No, we didn't. We didn't copy him. No, but we got to the bottom. Well, all of their margaritas, they'll get them soaked in Big Red Soda. Everything has Big Red Soda. So it's 80% Big Red Soda and 20% margaritas, they will get them soaked in Big Red Soda. Everything has Big Red Soda. So it's 80% Big Red Soda and 20% margarita.

They're getting lightly buzzed and fat. What's a Big Red Soda? That's what we asked and they wouldn't tell us. When I asked, I was like, what is this, cinnamon? What flavor? I ordered a Big Red Rita and they were like, what the fuck? I said, can you give me a semblance of a hint as to what flavor I will be experiencing? They said Big Red.

You said Fat Red? I thought maybe like a carbonated Kool-Aid. I still don't know. I think it's like cherry-ish. Is soda even definitely unhealthy? Because I feel like you'll see like an El Salvadorian 75-year-old dude drinking a two liter of soda with a six pack. No.

It'd just be like shredded. No, if he's 5'5", 195 men. 5'5", 195? How many El Salvadorians are you seeing? Big Red. Big Blue. Oh, they have shit. But then...

Then they became fruits. Yeah, peach and pineapple are actual flavors. Those look awesome. And what? There's two Big Reds. They're very good. Look at what the title sentence is. Big Red Zero.

Recognized as the number one selling red soda. Yeah, probably. Name another one. That's as big as Coke. Isn't there a Code Red Mountain Dew in San Antonio? Not as big as Big Red. Not as big as Big Red. It is up there.

When you see fountain drinks, it's Coke, Big Red, Sprite, and that's it. It's up there with the greats. That's crazy. What does it taste like? I didn't get it. Can we get some shipped in? Hispanics, they drink and they eat. They don't do drugs.

No? No. They did. That's nice. Is it marijuana, a Spanish word? Yeah, I guess the Colombians. I don't know. The Texans don't.

The Alamo Dome was odd. What about men? It's the worst venue ever. Yeah. Imagine watching a basketball game there. It was massive. And it's like doesn't make sense. I remember when I went for the Final Four, I sat in the lower bowl and my row number was like 95.

I was like, what is going. I was so far back. They just like forgot that you can go Tiers After like row 60 It goes so far back That first section Damn that sucks

It's kind of shitty to watch fights Like on a low tier but that far away The interior is cement Chaps was telling us this It's like a warehouse The decibel level, I guess, during the Conference USA finals, did surpass the record that the Seahawks set. But there was no one in there?

No, but the Guinness men weren't there. Oh. He may have been lying, now that I think about it. Yeah, he could have. It was kind of disappointing. We got where we were sitting for the fight, and DAZN gave us a list of everybody where we were sitting, and it was like me, Kyle, Corey, Aitlin, Tim Tebow.

And Frank Gore. Yeah, Tim Tebow didn't show up. Neither of them showed up. And Frank Gore? The haircut boy was there. Yeah, yeah, the guy on TikTok that does haircuts. Oh, Vic Blenz. Vic Blenz sat in front of us.

He was cool. Not Jeff Wittek? Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. No, Jeff Wittek. Vic Blenz. He gives them a speech? Yeah, he walks up. He gives free haircuts.

Yeah, bless you, my dog. Yeah. Like, you're poor as fuck, right? You can't afford this, right? Nude barber. Have you guys watched that guy Coug right? You can't afford this, right? Nude barber. Have you guys watched that guy Cujin? Yeah, he was in my office. He was?

The videos he takes with the homeless people, he makes around $10,000 to $15,000 on each one. He's loaded. Does he? Yeah, you could tell. He had the stereotypical hot girlfriend. He just did an ad deal with Jared Leto for that Marvel movie. Whoa.

Constantine? Big money. Or no, what's the name of it? Morbius Mania. Morbius. That's some Nick shit. He just did an ad deal with Jared Leto for that Marvel movie. Whoa. Constantine? Or no, what's the name of it? Morbius Mania. Morbius. That's some Nick shit. Nick's going to be making jokes about that in like 11 years. There's no doubt you're going to be referencing that.

Like, what the fuck, Morbius? I got something in the vault. I got something in Hootsuite. Five years today. A time capsule. Morbius banger. Fuck yes. Let's spin that shit. Morbius banger. Fuck yes. Let's spin that shit. Yeah, spin that wheel.

I also have an authority on Big Red if you want a review of it. A what? Oh. Rank? Yeah. Frank Dunn did it. Big Red. Big Red.

Big Red. Maybe the plus 15 button. We got ourselves a soda the size of Big Red. I was just looking this up. I already had a sip of it. Yeah. Big Red Cream Soda. Oh, it is cream.

I knew it was a cream. And then it just became simply Big Red. Evolved, and now it's Big 12. I don't know if he... So this is... Big Red. The forces sent to me by a fan inspection. Not before. This is like when you watch porn

and it's like just great, so much talking. And blowjobs. No one wants to see. This has the same energy as like, a video where a ghost walks through the background. There's going to be like a red circle. We should start adding that to our clips

just so they go viral. Red circles. What the fuck was that? I think there's something in the bottom of his soda. He really does taste it like a Sommelier. He drinks like it's something in the bottom of his soda. He really does taste it like a Sommelier. He drinks like it's it's filled with sediment.

This is weird. He talks like a Sommelier too. He drinks a lot of it. It tastes like bubblegum. Huh. It tastes like bubblegum. And as Aaron Boone says, he's here to win games and to bubble gum.

Good thing he's got a lot of bubble gum. He's going to be disappointed. Oh, a Slytherin accent? Is that a Texan accent? He's going to be disappointed. That was from Georgia. That's a 6.3. I'll give it a Midland.

A Midland, Texas? 6.6. Is that like a Friday Night Lights? 6.6. Yeah, it was all right. Midland. Midland. Odessa 7.

All right, spin this shit The Permian We're getting close guys By the way We hit a wheel reset When you were gone Someone was trying to Wait did you guys do it

Every time that we were gone Every single time Every single time Someone's been trying to like Truth TJ which is crazy TJ should know Truth real quick

Now I almost Like we need either A wheel reset Or Did we ever decide If we hit a wet It just stays on there Right Now, we need either a wheel reset or... Did we ever decide if we hit a wet, it just stays on there, right? I think those three, slap, wet, and food, stay on there.

Yeah. So we will be spinning on Thursday night for the case race. But does wet wheel reset it? Is it wet or reset? No, I don't think it is. I think a wet's a reset, isn't it? Do you? I think so.

I think it was last time. But food and slap or not? Right. Okay. Got it. So the only resets are wheel reset and wet reset. Okay. Go. I'll be so fucking mad. Well.

Oh my god. Food, food, food, food, food. All right. Now go to the backup food, food, food. B-Boy. All right, now go to the backup's food wheel. Oh, yeah. Let's see how this is going. Got the food. Does anyone want to change their food? So what do we have?

I don't think we can change. We have spiced chicken, barbecue, Joloff rice, a pint of ice cream each, birthday cake, tacos, oxtail, just salads. KB didn't have a choice. No, we have to eat. Who picks just salad? Steven did for TB12. Oh, God. And Burger King Sunday pies.

No, we have to eat a piece of KB. Fingernail or hair? You have to take a little bit of you off of me. Shave some skin I'll eat your ass Does anyone want to change that? I don't think we can You can't unless it's selected

And then your next food can't be I don't fucking know That sounds right Spiced chicken sounds good as well Who made the graphic of us with the coffee cup? I don't know. That was super weird. Yak Prep.

We shot them out. That guy's a legitimately good graphic designer. This is awesome. I think it was Rex Arrow that made it. That is insane. Let's look at some references back here. We got Frank sneaking in. Is that him up there?

I didn't even see that. Oh, yeah. I like how the times change a little. Who's the rat in the bottom left? Or is that a mouse? It's a mouse. Is there a mouse in here that we don't know about? On the wood right here, it says, bitch, you the robot, behind the keyboard.

Oh, my God. There's Jerry dogs on the floor. Oh, man. Did you guys see how Jerry eats? Oh, yeah. This is unreal how he throws them up, too. That was a clip. That was so bad.

Maybe that's crazy. There is no one like me it's odd seeing everyone used for a graphic and it's not like that senior year photo that they use for everything yeah fresh kid see is it fresh kid bro you look like you're pitching off a loaf yeah bro and you got a beer in your hand oh shit Get that out of there You know how the fuck it is bro It looks like that meme of the guy That's calling like the police or something Yeah Zaza Karen That was

That was too no Liverpool If I'm not mistaken Oh yeah You did want to call the police Zaza somehow looks the cuntiest This is from At Yak Prep on Twitter Shout out to them

Yeah Big shouts That was. Shout out to them. Yeah. Big shouts. That was awesome. Shout out Tommy Walker. All right. Let's see what we're eating. Shout out Tommy Walker.

There's no one like me. La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. Come on. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Oh, no. Oh, no. Come on, KB. Hey, what the fuck?

Your hair. Your hair. Your ass. Oh. Oh. Oh on, KB. Hey, what the fuck? Your hair. Your ass. Oh. Your fingernail. Oh. I will eat a piece of hair. I'll eat a piece of your hair.

No. That'll probably be so fucking hot. It's your fault. You didn't come up with something. I never said myself. You didn't come up with something. I don't want to get eaten. You want to shave me a piece of his heel like a Parmesan?

Maybe Alice. That would be so gross. Let us all at least eat. Oh, dude, I got a hair. I got a hair. You want it? It's like a fine-ass arm hair. Fine?

It's a fire-ass arm hair. I just ate it. It's high fire ass arm hair I just ate it It's high in tea What do you want to eat KB? It's your fault Yeah let's Let's just get Froyo Okay

Alright You have to order it though Let's get Froyo Yeah let me choose the top Choose the toppings? What? That was your number one? though. Let's get Froyo. Let me choose the topping. Choose the topping? That was your number one? You suck at eating. You really do.

Let's just get Froyo. That's why he didn't have a choice because he doesn't eat during the day. So we're just not eating? Are we fasting? Bro, you had one food to express yourself to the commenters and you went Froyo? Bro, we're gonna roast. Ro yourself to the commenters, and you went fro-yo? Bro, you're going to roast. No, don't roast his ass.

Light him up. Get him, boys. Why not like a big sirloin? Christy Chaos does the same exact diet as me. Cut this shit. Go with the porterhouse. All right. I'm ordering it.

Fro-yo, KB? Why not tacos? Fro-yo? All right. I'm ordering it. Froyo, KB? Why not tacos? Froyo? Caitlin would have loved if you got tacos. It's always so funny when he orders tacos. Shut the fuck up, Harry. What do you want as your toppings? I'm ordering the same thing for everyone.

I want extra boba. I want the popping boba. But in order to get extra boba, you have to get boba. We're not getting boba. I'm ordering actual frozen yogurt. What's boba? Yeah, you decide. What is boba?

It's a little bo-yo. It doesn't have boba. That's a drink. That's not even food. I'm looking right now. It doesn't have boba. Is it a fro-yo shop? A shop?

Yes. It doesn't have boba. I'm looking. I see no boba. They probably do have it. Oh, fuck. Yeah. You have boba?

God damn it. No boba? No, they fucking have boba. Of course they have boba They probably do have it Oh fuck You have boba? God damn it No boba? No they fucking have boba Of course they have boba Give me that I'm not getting boba for everyone Ew The OnlyFans girl

Glennie had it Yeah She likes boba She put it up in her little pussy She squirted it out of her pussy She was squirting boba out of her pussy She was putting boba in her pussy Yeah she was shoving boba in her pussy

She was shoving boba right up her pussy She was taking her pussy And she was shoving boba in it I like my boba in like tart, the soft serve ice cream. Yeah, tart is the best at boba. I don't want a boba in a pussy. I'd be furious if I found out that that's where the boba was coming from. One time I mistook a herpes sack for a popping boba.

It's a sugar cone, waffle cone. You want the cup, you'll take the pussy. Was that a universal middle school rumor? The person who ate the pussy And it was Boba He put starbursts in there Which was hard to believe Oh yeah

And she had herpy sacks Which is also not a thing Did you hear the one The girl who shaved her clit off? No, that wasn't Hyper specific to Nassau County And the movie Antichrist With Willem Dafoe No, that wasn't hyper-specific to Nassau County. And the movie Antichrist with Willem Dafoe.

And the Dafoe. And there was always the peanut butter on the pussy the dog licks it off. That was balls for me in high school. Oh, we were in the same high school. We had the same girl who was rumored to be. It was never balls. I thought it was Balls. It was Janet Yelnats, you know.

You remember her. Did you just choose, you chose Stanley Yelnats as your fake last name? Yeah. Janet Stanley. Janet Tanaj. Janet Samaje. Sass, have the aqua socks been a thing since I've been gone?

These are MeUndies, bro. Yeah? No, I think they're sick. These are a sponsor. And they're comfortable as hell. What are you wearing? It's Code Rhone. That crew neck is sick.

New anus crew. Dude, and a lot of you guys say that, like, we try to force you to buy our merch against your will. And, yeah. Damn, Kyle. Is that embroidered? That's flames. I can buy this. Don't have an option. Don't have a choice. Actually, you can Is that embroidered? That's flames. I can buy this. Don't have an option.

Don't have a choice. Actually, you can get the t-shirt. That's the coolest one you guys have made. Can't afford it. I mean, you still have to buy it. Shit. Damn. You just put them in a hard spot.

Yeah. If you give the option to finance t-shirts on our website, you could pay in four payments. Can we put some on layaway? Nine for you? You can't afford to. Actually, if you're financing a t-shirt, don't do it. I promise you.

We'll still be there. We'll print more. But we might not still be here. Make them do it. Are you a company man or not, Nick? Put it on layaway. I'm wearing the merch. Head to toe.

Why are you telling people not to buy, even if they can't afford it? Don't tell them that. Don't give them any ideas. Barstool. Damn, all that stuff's pretty cool. They're not even live yet. Keep refreshing the feed

for the drop. What socks are those, Nick? These are Barstool. Does that give you PTSD? He get pulled into a van I mean we're talking about him Oh fucked Damn dude Not me

You got You had a TikTok go viral About how much your biggest bet was It went viral? I think it had a lot of views On TikTok I got a lot of views And it got bleeped

And everybody was mad about the bleep Oh yeah It's Bill honey No That's why they bleeped it and it got bleeped and everybody was mad about the bleep spill honey that's why they bleeped it people think I bleeped it because I don't want people to know it's because of responsible gaming Westy you didn't want it

the conversation would have been irresponsible so we bleeped it I don't give a fuck I know the real number you take a guess Irresponsible. So we bleeped it. I don't give a fuck. I know the real number. You take a guess. Take a guess at the number. I'll say lower or higher. All right.

Can we pull it up for some reference? Yeah. I don't want to say my number. Yeah. Come on. Come on, dude. What do you think people think you're poor? The game of the year has gotten a little substantial.

Yeah. It's been... It's a lot think you're poor. The game of the year has gotten a little substantial. Yeah. It's been... It's a lot. It was one of the game of the year. You got a wealthy man to laugh at. Oh, damn. This Logan guy, like, yeah, it's totally... Pull up that comment.

You watch the Yak every day. Everyone, we joke about how rich I am I'm fucking rich The bleeps were great for interaction though Yeah they were But it was all responsible gambling I don't care if people know the numbers So I'm going to let you guess

I want Sass to guess He knows your finances He's going to be wrong though I don't know how betting works Some guy came up to me at the bar I want to say maybe March Madness was like, so are you betting like $100,000 a game? I was like, what?

So that would be wonderful. I have no idea. I would formulate a guess. It's enough to the point where nobody else in the room should be speaking. $75,000? Less. But not that far off? That's all i need to know because i have probably bet more 50 was the game of the year

that's not an every day yeah it's not no that's not every day that was the bills chiefs game of the year and you're two and three two you win that one i won yeah and then 35 was texas tech against duke they lost so the game of the year kind of goes up and down depending, but it's always more. The game of the year has always been more than 30. But you're wealthy and that's responsible. You can do that. That's not my normal bet.

50 isn't even. That's not my normal bet. Even as your apex bet, that's not bad. That's not my normal bet. I didn't mean to guilt you to say it. Oh, it's fine. What do you mean it's not bad, KB? I think.

Apex bet. That sounds badass. That sounds awesome. My apex bet. That's going to be. Use that. That sounds badass. That sounds awesome. My apex bet. That's going to be. Use that. That's my new bet. It's an apex bet.

That's one less than game of the year. Apex bet. Yeah. We're doing percentages. That's not crazy. Yeah, percent of wealth. This is probably like the least you've ever been betting. What?

Percentage of wealth. When you had no money. Oh, yes. Yes, correct. Yeah, no. Long time stoolies know, like, when we used to, like, back in the day, I would, like, during football season, I would just be like, Monday morning, you'd just see me doing, like, ads for, like, pizza joints.

And, like, Hawaiian shirts. People would be like, oh, tough weekend? I'd be like, yes. Yeah, this is the most responsible you've ever been. Correct. Monday morning, blue buffalo. I actually have a budget. I think Ethan Camps put like a hundred on like a Grizzlies future

or a Morant MVP future, and like that's 2,000% of his salary. So stupid. So he is. By the way, the responsible gambling thing i mean steven you know because you like you have to deal with it too like it's more that there are such losers and narcs out there that will pinpoint one thing we say and then be like send it to like the gaming commission and and and ignore all the actual responsible gambling things that we say like i'm a loser don't ever follow my picks.

Don't bet more than you, like, above your means, all that stuff. So that's really all it is. It's there's, like, certain people that hate Barstool that want to take us down, that if they saw a clip of me saying that, they'd be like, oh, irresponsible. Yeah, do they hate beer, too, because we advertise beer? Right. And I know people who are 23 with cirrhosis. Damn. You take no joy cirrhosis. Damn. You take no joy in saying that.

None. I think it's refreshing that you are talking the talk and walking the walk. So if it's the game of the year, you are anteing up and you're putting. Anyone who's watched the game of the year streams knows that I have a very significant wager on it. Correct. Yeah. Because I'm acting a lot different than like just a Sunday where I have like I spray the board. Yeah, you're a nightmare to beager on it. Correct, yeah. Because I'm acting a lot different than just a Sunday where I spray the board.

Yeah, you're a nightmare to be around those days. Yeah, but when it works. Yeah, when it works, it's the best thing ever. Which that might be irresponsible, god damn it. No, it's one of the best things. It's one of the best things ever. We're running out of eggshells to walk over. There's a lot of rules.

There's a lot of rules. There's a lot of rules. A lot of rules. As there should be. Gambling's the thing you should follow the rules on. Everything else, just fucking whatever. Make fun of the dead, whatever you're going to do, KB. It is funny, though, because people always are like, dude, show your bet slip.

And it's like, that's a lose-lose for me. Because either I show it and everyone's like, oh, we're rich. Or I show it and people are like oh why aren't you betting more yeah there's no number that i could say that i bet on a game and people be like oh okay yeah that's true like you have to be mattress mac for it yeah make waves right and if i'm mattress mac they'd be like that's that's crazy why would you bet that much i usually bet about five thousand dollars a game there you go there we. There we go. There we go. That was a humanizing moment. That's a regular game.

And yes, Owen's right. That's not like I remember when $50 was a big bet. It's not how Dukes is making $5,000 every game. That's a different story. Well, Dukes has ways to get. He has solutions for if he loses it He's got the final one Final set

Yep Yeah It shouldn't be that good One not tying tutorial away Let's talk about the case race Yes Figure out how we're going to do this Let's figure that out

So how many beers are we doing? A case Case Is that Are we going fast with it? Okay, well, no. So, actually... Slow down.

Slow down. Oh, that's a fair question. I would refer to a case as a 30 rack. Okay, yeah, yeah. All right. I just thought a case was just a case of beer.

24? A 30 is a rack. 30 is a rack. That's what we're doing, 24. A case is 24. I would never use a term to refer to anything less than 30 beers.

You would just call it beers. Oh, they can't see us anymore. No, they can't see us anymore. Fran, I thought she was smiling at me. Maybe he's back in the office. She just loves tint. She's very confused. I also have it on my face. So are we going to draft?

Are we going to draft the teams? Tinted moisture. Yeah, when should we do it? Teams of two? Let's do it right now. Yeah. We can plan strategy with our... Oh, wow. Wait, we gotta see if... Can you get Dana Beers?

Because I think Dana Beers should just be Sass's teammate. When the fuck does Dave come on? Why? Why mine? Because y'all pay golf. Dave is feeling three episodes. Slug. Who's the worst drinker? Uh-oh. Frank can't even see. Oh, Jesus Christ. We have a... No, who's actually

the worst drinker? I don't know. I don't. What's his? Is he? Oh, yeah. What's he doing? Should it be with Owen? Because Owen's not going to drink beer. How about Dana beers and Owen?

Yeah. Yeah. Is he going to walk in? Yeah. And drink 24. He's got to drink zips, which is. Okay. Arguably worse.

I could keep up my. I could do my fair share. You could do your fair share, Sassy. Yeah. I think I could do 11. I think I could do probably the same. I think I can do 11. I think I could do probably the same. I think I could do 10. All right, so it's five of us.

Five, Owen. Wait, KB's not doing it either? No, he is. Five of us. Are you? I'm doing it. It's five and Owen. Owen and Dana.

And then who's doing it from the booth? Okay, Zaha and TJ. All three? Yeah. Zaha. Okay. Zaha, you're in, right, Zaha? TJ's a heavy hitter. Are you in, Zaha, or All three? Yeah Zaha Okay Zaha, you're in, right, Zaha? TJ's a heavy hitter

Are you in, Zaha, or no? What is that supposed to mean? I think you can put him down I think Zaha So maybe Dana's not involved No, I'm out Oh, you're out, Zaha? Cool, thanks

You guys want me in? Yes You're on the flyer You can throw him down, too Well, I was thinking There's two things we could do We could also just make the booth do their own case. Maybe they do a 30 rack to make it a little more even.

Yeah, I like that. So it's like they compete against us in here. They all have to eat a cotton candy as well. Them doing 30 would be funny. That's a good caveat. I want to see somebody puke up cotton candy. Yeah. Dana's not here, but he's in.

Okay. So that's perfect because then there's- Do you know it's Thursday night? Wait, no, that's not perfect. Yeah, no, we don't need Dana anymore. We don't need Dana. Well, we'd actually have – Apologize to Dana in the Dickie V voice.

I thought he was going to be a team of his own. A team of his own, yes. Dana's a team of his own, so he's in. It's just entrapment. Just get him here and make him drink. Yeah, yeah, he's in. Dana's in. Dana's a team of his own, and then it's the six of us as teams of two.

Where Dana has to do a tall boy, he has to butt chug it. Yeah. Yeah. I like this. So it's the booth. Every drop. The booth versus Dana versus teams of two. Could we get the Friday beers, who I don't even know what their team is.

Can we get them to compete against us? We don't talk about that account here. Because Dana ripped it off. Remember that? Did a trio of men? I think they hired a big team. I think it's a corporation. I'd like to see them compete.

I clicked on their cover photo the other day. It's like 10 people. Dana versus Friday Beers. Turf War was the best. Who has ownership over drinking beers? Yeah. It was one of my favorite Turf Wars. It was like beers? Yeah. It was one of my favorite turf wars. It was like a real rival.

It was. No, I actually drink. You guys are just faceless. But then there was like that whole thing where like Barstool employees were like they were arguing like I could drink more than you. There was a Barstool breakfast episode. There was. Yeah. Yeah.

So how are we going to pick the teams? Is it going to be a wheel? Is it going to be random? So we wheel for captains, and they get to pick somebody. When you randomize it, it creates disparities in skill. What do you want? I think we should try to pick the most even teams possible. So what would the most even teams be to you, KB?

Do we rank one to six and then just... I kind of agree with KB. Yeah. I'll just be honest about our beer. I'm bad. I'm bad. Very bad. So it's 24 beers, and it's whoever finishes,

whichever team finishes the 24 first, the show's over. They're the winner. Or is the show not over? No, no, no. Until the last team finishes. Oh, God. Okay, I like that. The victors just get to start smoking.

What happens to last place? Last place has to do something. I like you can leave if you're done. No, no, no. No one's going to leave. It's going to be fun. It's going to be a party. What does the last place team have to do?

Can we get like an inversion table in here and have them upside down for a little bit after drinking some? What about last place has to eat an entire cake, birthday cake, full cake? After we finish. With the lit candle. Or you know what would be good? Here's what we do. When one team wins, so when one team completes all 24, whoever's in last at that moment is last.

Because that keeps the pressure on at all times. That you can't just be like, oh, I'll just chug a bunch at the end and I won't be last. Oh, that's scary. And then that team has to eat. We don't leave the room until that team finishes an entire birthday cake for Sass. Well, instead of it. You know it's impossible to eat a whole birthday cake. I tried to go two men on a birthday cake before,

and it was terrible. I'm just trying to get as much puke as possible. You want a lot of puke. I also like incorporating some type of logic game or puzzle, because on the flip side, it's funny to watch people struggle mentally when they're apt out. We should have some type of...

Rubik's Cube. That throwback Jeopardy was awesome. Yeah. Throwback Jeopardy. We have another Jeopardy in the tank. Yeah, that kid applied for Barstow Idol as well. I think we got a sneak in. Oh, we should push him.

Some type of puzzle that helps you with the beers, maybe? Something that shows your stupidity. Yeah. Do you guys like the cake rule? I love the cake rule. It's not going to get done, though. Oh, Roan. Roan sounds like he doesn't like the cake rule.

None of you have ever tried to eat a cake too bad. When have we ever had an idea that we didn't do? Yeah, let's do the cake. Also, you can puke and just keep eating. That's like, can't finish the cake, you have to drive home. Also, if you're drunk, you might be able to take down more cake than you'd think. If you can't finish the cake, you have to bet one game of the year. My units.

With his units. Fuck yeah. I like that. Get it expensed. What about eating like a whole pineapple or something like that or a whole cantaloupe or something like that? No. You could do a pizza or a cake.

Pizza has to be really wet. Any type of pie. Oh, we could be wet wheeling on Thursday night. Oh, fuck. Everything could be wet. We could also be slap wheeling, which would be great. I'll be fine. Oh, we should do a slap wheel. I think we have to do a wheel every hour because it's a new show. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, are we going to release it in increments? I'm so excited for this. Wait, why don't we just do it? We'll be here until like 1 in the morning. You should just do like a 48-hour episode and just be good for a while. Yeah, just take it. Shut up, everyone. We just did 48 different episodes.

We just make the act like firefighter shifts. Yeah. We just do two days straight, and then we get a week off. We do PJs. Sneaky, easy-ass job. Firefighter? Sneakily one of the easiest jobs in the world. Chill, chill, chill.

Is that our fro-yo? No. That's Big Evan, a pistachio hoodie. So teams of two. Pretty good. You thought Big Evan was our fro-yo? Teams of two. Team with the most beers left, undrunk, undrunk, undranken, undrank?

All right, so yeah. Undrunken. Has to eat a pie or a cake. Has to eat a pie or a cake. Has to eat a pie or a cake. What about a pie or a pie? Yeah. Why are you so anti-cake? Because I've tried it before.

None of you have tried it. What if you tried it? What if you tried it specifically? Me and my boy Christos, we fucking went out for a walk one day and we saw some big ass cakes in the window. It was lunchtime. It doesn't have to be a big ass cake. It was a round cake.

No, it was a round birthday cake, which you would think is small, smaller than a whole sheet cake. And I maybe ate my entire half, but it probably wasn't even the whole half. He didn't even come close, and I really pushed myself. What about the loser has to eat 21 hot dogs? The losing team has to eat 21 hot dogs.

Among them? Yeah. I'd like some dogs there just while we're hanging out. I don't care how we end up with it, but I want someone puking their guts out. I'm not a pie. You're like the anti-Marie Antoinette right now. Let them eat pie. Let them eat their pie.

You're saying a pizza pie? No, a pretty simple solution. Just don't lose. I'm not going to lose. I'm not going to lose. Stop worrying about the fucking cake. Why do you have an aversion to cake? Is it just the losers that have to lose?

Because I've tried it. You don't even want the cake in to eat? Because I've tried it. You don't even want the cake in the room. Because I've tried it. Nobody loves cake more than me. I'm the hard-carrying cake eater. We should tier it. So there's how many teams?

You're the cake? No, no, no. There's five teams. Fondant? No, no. It's like second place has to eat a slice of pizza each. Third place has to eat a full pie. Fourth place has to eat. We should tier it. They also make pie cakings. Have you has to eat a full pie. Fourth place has to eat a teer. They also make pie

cake-ins. Have you ever heard of a pie cake-in? No. Like a turducken? It's like a turducken but there's like a pie, a cake, and something else in it and they're all together. Maybe we could get a pie cake-in. Pie cake-in? Pie cake-in? It's like a pie with cake-in and it's like a...

You know what? Why are we even arguing this? It should just be up to the wheel. We should have a wheel. On Thursday night, when we all sit down, we'll decide the loser has to do this and then we'll spin the wheel. So it'll be eat a cake, eat a full pizza, eat 21 hot dogs. We'll spin the wheel. There can be another option. I want to incorporate an entertainer

a la the face painter. Oh, could we get a face painter? Cedric? Can you get a face painter for Thursday night, please? Do you know any, KB? Not the same one. I was going to say we know one. No, no, no, no, no. No.

I would like to have a face painter. Get that horny-ass dude back in here. I'd like to have a face painter. I'd like to have some party favors. Not, no, that wasn't meant to be cocaine. That was. Oh, yeah. I was actually meaning like the hats and the fucking things

We'll just call it violence No well A comedian A comedian would be cool Chrissy D How much can we hire Chrissy D for I want to find the cheapest comedian on Craigslist Free

And just have him do a marathon And we pay him very well Comedian slash face painter. Same person? Sure. No, I'm asking. Yeah, that'd be efficient. No, not.

No. No, Che. Comedian and a face painter. Yeah, but not the same as last time. Right, yep. So we want a funny face painter. A comedian that does no crowd work I'd rather have him be better at face painting than comedy

Could be her Or her, yeah Would you guys agree? Would you rather have comedy better than face painting? I want the face painting to be significantly better I don't know, bad at both would be awesome Yeah Or the worst face painter

We need a comedian who has an hour, though. They need to have a whole hour. I'm not trying to get five minutes of a comedian. Yeah, but it should be mainly physical. This won't take two hours. It'll probably be at least two hours, I would assume, yeah? I think I can drink 12 beers in an hour. What?

I don't know. Maybe I'm way wrong. What's the puke rule on piss rule? I think you could. I I'm way wrong. What's the puke rule and piss rule? I might be way wrong. Yeah. Can you piss? Yeah, you can piss. Can you puke? No. Yes. I think I can do six in an hour.

You can puke? I think you can puke. But I don't think you can puke on camera. How many beers do you think you can do in an hour? I think that would probably be bad if we start puking and then drinking again. We got to drink out of cups, so no. But, yeah, I think we'll be fine as long as we drink out of cups. I feel like TJ is the closest to his college days as far as just being an absolute animal.

Should we just get a keg? I think we need to. Yeah. That would be awesome. Yeah, Grace, would be fun. Oh, man. All right, so it'll be Okay so we gotta have cups

We'll have coolers We have coolers here We have coolers Why can't we do a product Why can't we do a beer brand Cause we're not drinking responsibly at all Correct We have to play a mental game

Can we have koozies Can we have custom koozies I think actually you can't Oh yeah koozies I actually think you can't puke During the case race Definitely I don't think you can Why I think actually you can't. Oh, yeah? I actually think you can't puke during the case race. I don't think you can. Why?

I think that should be illegal. Like, you gotta... I don't think it would change the cops thing. That would be irresponsible. Well, and also because... No, I'm just saying... Oh, you can just pull a trigger

after each beer. You can just pull a trigger and then it doesn't... Like, if you puke, you lose. Well, we can piss and shit. You can piss, of course. I mean, if you're willing to pull a trigger

after every single beer, I think that's not a problem. I don't think that's... Yeah, like, if you have to puke, I think you're out. I think you lose. Pee if you leave. Yeah. There's psychological tactics we can impose.

Like a strobe light? When is an hour the shortest when you're having a blast? Oh. When is the hour the longest? Duhas by Rand Washington. When you're in church. Abu Ghraib. When you're in church.

Okay. So if we can get like a sermon. We have to participate in a sermon. Are we spinning the wheel for teams? I don't think so, are we? I think we should spin for teams. Okay. Why not?

I mean, does anyone think they're that much better at drinking than everyone else? Why don't we all write down how many we think we'll be able to do? We don't have any. I'll be totally honest. At one point, it was very good, but I'm not even close to what I used to be able to do. I'm terrible. You used to be able to do more than

12 in an hour? Maybe not. That might be ridiculous. That's a lot. A power hour is five beers in an hour. Yes or no? No, you were never doing it. No one's ever done it in an hour yes or no no you were never doing no one's ever I did used to I used to in college

we used to beer bong whiskey which was fucked up that'll get you so fucked up yeah don't do that I can't tell if sass is gonna be an asset or a liability in this contest it's awesome

so I think we should just leave it to the wheel cause we're all probably about the same I slug way more beers than your bitch ass. I know that. I'm saying that I'm calling myself out as a bitch ass. I'm trying to see where you lie on this. Seem like you got a little bit defensive there, which makes me think I slug more beers than your bitch ass.

Bass is going to have one gulp and just be like, is it always this bubbly? I feel bloated. I feel so bloated. I have to piss already. Don't taste like this in Denver. Do you get drunker faster in Denver? I've never been there.

No. You've got to go, dude, for content. It all depends on how much you've eaten. So are we doing teams right now? Yeah. How does the wheel work? What if we just spin the wheel and then the first one it lands on is on the first team and then the second person is the second person on the first team?

Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Or should we do it like a draft and the first person's on the first team, the second person's on the second team, third person's on the third team, and then snake it right back? Yeah, I like that. I like that more. Okay.

All right, so that means that the first and the last person are teamed up on the wheel. If we're doing snake. Yep. Correct? Correct. Yeah, we're snaking it. Yeah. All right, are teamed up on the wheel. That's right. If we're doing snake. Yep. Correct? Correct. Yeah, we're snaking it. Yeah. All right.

So let's do the teams. I'm very excited for this. Yeah, it's going to be really fun. Yeah. And we've decided that the losing team, so the case race will end when a team wins, and whichever team has the least amount of beers drinking at that moment, we'll have to eat something. Yeah. And then the show ends when that is fully eaten.

And that has to be something round that goes on the wheel. I feel like that's like whether it's a pie or cake. It's pizza, hot dogs, cake, pie, something. Tortilla. Tortilla. I just wanted to join in Nice inclusion Thank you

Happy to be back boys We do drinking games Nick does not miss I don't know how we do Drinking games with the Microphones though Like it's still gotta be a show Right

What if we got labs That would be funny If you guys played flip cup Flip cup on these little boys Oh yeah that could be fun We could do that We could do that That would be awesome I like the idea of playing Flip cup against played flip cup on these little boys? Oh yeah, that could be fun. We could do that. We could do that.

I like the idea of playing flip cup against not midgets, but people who are proportionally easy. Hey! Slap the fuck out of him. What do you want me to say? Little people. Alright, you just did a TikTok on this.

What was the TikTok? I done goofed. That. What the official terms are. What's the official term? What are we working with? I don't know, bro. It changes every day.

What is it really? So apparently it's little people or person of shorter stature. So it's going to be like, hey, person of shorter stature. Yeah, that's a mouthful. Why not just shorty? Shorty. Right? Shorty.

All right, let's spin the wheel. Wuttery. Smooth. For the first team, the first spot in the case race. Roan. So whoever's last is with Roan. All right. case race. Roan. So whoever's last is with Roan. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Now KB.

This is for the second team. Captain. So this person will not be on my fucking team. Sass Owen. So Owen is team two. And now the next two will be teamed up together. What if it's Nick and KB?

That would be hilarious. It would be wild. Alright, so this is now my teammate. It's going to be Sass. It's definitely going to be Sass. I'm going to be so angry at Sass. Hey Kat, we're going to be a fucking plea. I'm going to be sass. It's going to be sass. Definitely. I'm going to be so angry at sass. Hey, Cat, we're going to be a fucking – Please, I am going to be sass.

It's going to be a squad. I think I'm going to win. I want to say that. We're going to destroy. I think Big Cat's the best. I think sass is the best pick left. Oh, sass. Let's go, sass.

Happy birthday. Let's fucking go, bro. We're going to dominate this shit. This is for – Our house. For our team. Our bro. We're going to dominate this shit. This is for our house. You are. Our house. We're going to destroy it. I would like Owen on my side.

It lands on Owen's team and the other person is on Rone's team. Rone's. Correct. My enemy. Win, win. All right, so baby boy. He and Rone are definitely going to be a challenge for us, Sass. No way. KB and Owen, nothing.

I've gone out with Roan. He drinks like one beer. The thing is, Owen can do zips. Yes, but 12 zips is a lot. No, I'm carrying him like he's going to do 17. It's water, no alcohol. He's the most sober guy here. He's going to have a very full tum-tum.

We saw him do the hot dogs. Probably less calories. There's no way they're all out of me. Oh, those are going to stay with you forever, I think. That's like the magic of the hot dog. Hot dogs take seven years to disintegrate. My shits have been the exact length and width of hot dogs, but made of shit. Love it, brother.

Yeah, entirely shit. So, TJ, you get some graphics for the teams. Yeah. Wait, and is the booth a different team? Yes. So if they can win, they can lose. We all have 24 on the team. They have 30.

They have 30 to a team, I believe. So because TJ, Zah, and Steven still have to kind of do a job back there, like. To be a handicap. And because Steven is a mental person of shorter stature, we'll have 10 per each of them. I would argue that I'm very strong mentally. Oh, Jay. Fall back. Yo, fall back.

I don't get bothered by Curtis's medal. He is right. And Dana, we're just going to make – and I'll say this for Dana because he's going to be a good sport to show up. It's going to be good to have him here. He can't lose. No. Because he's by himself.

Right. He doesn't have to eat a pie. Yeah, he can't be the loser. He can only prove himself. Yeah, the loser will be amongst us, the Yak. Maybe he's coming to this event playing along. Right, exactly. He's like a benchmark to see how Dana

could do individually. Right, he's gonna be fun. He's a fun guy to have around in an event. Like a tennis ball that we could throw. What if him and Mintz get a handle of Jack and a bushel of bananas? Oh, man. If Dana wins, though, should there be a show punishment? Yeah. If Dana

beats... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't think... Dana might fuck around and win. That would really suck. No. Or 24 beers? No.

Not with 24, with 12 maybe. I don't think you guys remember. That guy averaged a double-double in high school. He did. Yeah. He did. He did 28 recently, right? Yeah, I think so.

He might beat us. It probably took him like three years. Oh, my sister's boyfriend was there. Said it wasn't 28. Whoa. I need you to lock in. I've been locked in. I need you.

Ready to go. Take your shirt off. Show him. We should just do it today. No. Creep. This is all beer. You're a creep right here.

You creep. You creep. You creep. I want to see somebody put the odds out. You're a plush. Maybe Zaz can put some odds out. What did you point to Zaz for? I don't even somebody put the odds out. You're a plush. Zaz can put some odds out. What did you point to Zaz for?

I don't even know what the odds would be. I don't either. Oh, to turn off the mics. Oh. I'm excited. Where's this fro-yo at? I don't know, but I have to do the rundown in 12 minutes. But I want the fro-yo to get here. I want the fro-yo sip.

It might be melted fro-yo. It might just be yo. It's nine orders of it. So, and then it will run regular time at 1 o'clock, which actually would be great. We can all tweet about it. Yeah. No spoilers. And we'll run it as a premiere, so there'll still be a chat.

Oh, perfect. Love it, TJ. I'll be hanging out in there. Yep. We'll all hang out in there. We'll be in there. We'll just be with you guys. And TJ, we'll have to have a big clock.

Probably a little hungover. Let's have a big clock behind us. It just counts the you guys. And TJ, we'll have to have a big clock. Probably a little hungover. We'll have to have a big clock behind us. It just counts the whole time. Yeah, we'll figure it out. And then we'll have, I think what we'll end up doing, I think, Stephen, you've got to figure out maybe coolers. The best way to do it is if we'll all sit as teams and we'll have a cooler in front of us.

That way we can pour the beer without... You pour the beer in the cup with the cooler open. Let me know if you need the card. I kind of want a frat-like customized cooler that a woman makes. Okay, we can... A woman make that for you? No problem.

Very specific. We allowed us to have booby traps? Yes. Okay. Oh, no. No problem. It's very specific. Wait, a lot of said booby traps? Yes. Okay. Oh, no. No, I forgot you two were a team. I guess. The booby trap team.

The booby trap. The booby traps. We're about to Alka-Seltzer you boys to death. What's the rule on tools, gadgets, gizmos, vehicles for liquid? Yeah, yeah. Whatever Mike Studd advertises, you can use. But that's it? Yeah, only the Chug Buddy.

Fair enough. I got another wrinkle. I got another wrinkle. Oh, no. All right. Hit us. Okay. What if the two teams in last and second to last,

when the team wins, they then have to take a written exam that jeff d low makes up that that adds the mental part which would be very funny series of trivia questions what if we get a fourth grade trivia question at the uh every 30 minutes and if your team gets it wrong it adds one more beer yeah i like that i like that, I'm thinking hypothetically I lose, take a and then I'm in Mensa. The joke isn't on me anymore. You're in Mensa. Yeah, I don't want

to be inducted into Mensa for a long time. This would just be the two worst teams would have to take a trivia we could even have it be a live trivia if Jeff D'Lo wanted to zoom in, which I'm sure he would. He would. That would be pretty funny if it was the two teams competing against each other in live trivia after we're drunk.

That would be very funny. Should we do that? Could it just be like a school subject instead of general trivia? No, it could be. Yeah, it could be. I'll have Jeff D'Lo tailor it so it's not like, do you know this? It's like, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Yeah, kind of shit.

And we'll actually play a game of the dozen after we're drunk with the two teams competing against each other. Does that like impede your intelligence? If you're drunk? Yes, a little bit, but more of like a logical reasoning game would be the harder option. What do you mean?

You want to take the LSAT? Yeah, you can do logical reasoning questions. With trivia, you know what you know. No, no. Yeah, yeah. It's not going to be trivia like it doesn't. It's going to be like what you're saying. Yeah, like something that fires.

Like I have 10 strawberries, and I gave 8 to Paul and 1 to Nancy. Yeah, I like that. And then Paul gave 1 back to me. Yeah, that kind of shit. Losing two teams could go right to an escape room. That would be funny, too like that. And then Paul gave one back to me. Yeah, that kind of shit. Losing two teams could go right to an escape room. That would be funny, too. Yes. Losing two teams have to wrestle their way out of here.

Should the losing team have to sleep in the office? Plot twist, Gable Stevenson's coming on Thursday. Oh, my God. Is he? I don't hear that. Oh, my God. We could get him. That was so sexual

He just doesn't drink any beer So he can wrestle Oh I lost Oh man If you were sober Or if you were drunk Wrestling I think about that

Sometimes Ron Artest would like Put up Crazy numbers Off a bottle of hen Chris Herron dropped 14 points on heroin Damn I think Leo did that In the basketball diaries

No No No Oh Love it Oh Oh yo Go grab it

Go grab it They were like high as fuck It's gotta be the O right Cause it's in a cooler It's gotta be the O right Oh cause it's in a cooler It's gotta be the O They got the cooler Oh he's gotta take a picture of it Never seen a bag that big

Gotta be the O He's never seen a KB that big Look how small he is Christ Not us What The fuck Oh my

God That's a big ass bag You got that Yeah let's just use that Whoever it is can have our fro-yo What the fuck? Oh, my God. It was hot honey chicken. Who got that? Yeah, let's just use that. Whoever it is can have our froyo. That sounds great. Whose is it? Jiggle it, jiggle it, shorty.

Whose is it? Jiggle it, jiggle it, jiggle it. Oh, I don't want it. I'm not taking it. I'm not taking it. That looks good as fuck. That bag. All right.

I got to go do the rundown. You guys want to keep going until you get your fro-yo? Probably should. Do that. Yeah. All right. Do your thing. I'm excited for Thursday.

I think we got all the rules, right? Everything's pretty much set. We can add wrinkles. We can add more wrinkles. Yeah, we can add wrinkles, but I'll have Jeff D'Lo work on that. But when is Chicago trivia? Thursday. We can add wrinkles. We can add more wrinkles. Yeah, we can add wrinkles, but I'll have Jeff D'Lo work on that. But when is Chicago trivia? Thursday. Next Tuesday.

Okay. So Jeff D'Lo will zoom in after the final two teams will compete against each other to see who has to eat it. Maybe we'll make it like five rounds. Potentially. We've got to clear that with him, but yeah, I assume. He can do it. He said yes.

He'll do it, yes. He said yes. He just texted me. He just texted me. He said yes. He'll do it, yes. He said yes. He just texted me. He said 1 million percent in. He just texted me. He said yes. This is the weirdest thing because, yeah, he said 10 million percent in. And he said.

Yeah, maybe he's on the phone. Maybe Quiggs could tell the story about the wedding. Quiggs is the master behind the Yak social right now. Will you be here for the case race? When is it? Thursday night. Yeah. Okay, so Quiggs will be here for the case race? When is it? Thursday night. Yeah. Okay, so Quigs will be here. Quigs can be on our team. Quigs can

hang out. No, you don't have to participate. You can if you want. No story about the wedding. I might drink on the wedding. What's the wedding? Here, take my seat. I gotta go do the rundown. You're in. And also eat my fro-yo. He was in Toshiki, Nick.

Oh, he was in Dashiki, Nick Oh, shit Oh, yeah, no Oh, he was in No, no, no, sorry Traditional Indian Not traditional Because it would have been arranged But untraditional You were in Asari?

Yeah Which is ironic Because that's like the notes app You'll have to tweet out Yeah No, I guess I mean You look at it

It could be disrespectful But I Took a shit Like all over it All over what my sorry or it was called a uh kurta kurta so i oh you literally shit on it yeah so it was they they didn't fit great for like everybody like the pants were super tight took like 25 minutes to get the pants on and then so got my outfit on, had to take a shit.

And then so I go in the bathroom, go to take a shit. And I'm more focused on making sure I don't mess up my pants so it doesn't take another 25 minutes to get arranged. And forgot that like. Get arranged? Like to get the pants on like perfectly. But not the marriage, okay. Not the marriage. The marriage was not arranged.

Okay. The groom was your friend?. The marriage was not arranged. Okay. The groom is your friend? Yeah, he was my roommate. Okay. And so I'm... Choice or it was randomized? My choice. Oh, you knew him, yeah. But yeah, so I forgot the shirt goes down to, like, the back of my knees.

Yeah. And it was just in the toilet the entire time. You just shit on it. I, like, shit all over it. And it was kind of... I the entire time. You just shit on it. I like shit all over it. And it was kind of, I took care of it. How? There was a shower in the bathroom I was using. That's lucky.

So it just, and it was like, yeah, you can see right there. Oh shit, this is what you were. It's kind of like the perfect. Is this pre or post shit? This was pre-shit but it's like the perfect color and material shit on get a shit out of oh yeah yeah um so just had to do a couple rounds of washing it getting some soap blow dryer you would never know but yeah at a point i was like i may have to just go outside and like fall in the mud.

Yeah. Because you got to do something. Which is also smart. Yeah. That is a great idea. What if there wasn't a bathroom? Or what if there wasn't a shower in the bathroom? There oftentimes aren't showers. I would have to do it in the sink.

Just scrubbing it against each other? I guess, yeah. I mean, but it was good to like, I let everybody know I shit all over, but it was good that there wasn't like physical shit on it when I told people. Yeah, oh, that would have been terrible. What was your exact reaction as you realized the shit was, you were pooping on your shirt? It was panic because you don't know, like, it's just like a lot of shit on there. So you don't know if it's going to come out.

You just had to touch your own shit with your own hands. Had you ever had to do that before? Yeah, I kind of blacked out because they were like, how did you get it off of you? I don't really remember, but I must have like, I don't know. You had to take it off, but then the shit goes by your face. Yeah, I don't remember the process of that because I was just full-blown panicked. Was it a solid turd? I mean, not the most solid turd.

I imagine. Like a plasma? Yeah, it was like... Like an Eichmacher Jell-O. it was like... Like an eczema or a jello. It was like 3D. All poop is. It's in the world. Yeah, but it wasn't like diarrhea. You think diarrhea is 2D?

Cut it. I gotta send a picture of this shit to my boy. That's like the really bad diarrhea. Yeah, there was solid shit on the thing but it came out do uh the bride and groom know did they know the night of yeah so i told i told because i like funny new people would tell people but i was like told all the all the boys knew but like i was like you can tell people just wait until we change into the other outfit i don't want people to know at the time that I'm wearing a shit.

A poop shirt. Yeah. So I'm sure people know. I guess everyone knows now. Yeah. The whole world. We're vastly overestimating how many people still watch when Big Cat leaves.

True. He is just hanging out in the hallway over there. Yeah, he's not doing that. I gotta go do the rundown as well. You do? Just like watch it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Well, dude, thank's not doing that. I got to go do the rundown as well. You do? Just like watch it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Well, dude, thank you for sharing that because that was like a very invasive story.

Yeah. You know? Laugh at my pain. Whose comedy special was that? Laugh at my pain. Was it Kevin Hart? I think it was. Was it Kevin Hart?

I think it was Kevin Hart. He's 5'3". Damn. He's shorter than that. Which doesn't hurt. What? He's shorter than that driver. I don't think so.

That guy was a primordial dwarf. Primordial? Is it like before existence? Maybe. People used to be short as fuck. That was one of my biggest takeaways from the Natural History Museum. Upright people used to be short as fuck. And I'm not even just talking Jesus time.

They don't depict them with statues and the like. They don't depict them properly. They look a lot taller than they were. They were like meerkat height. Trying to think of a meerkat. Like Timon and Pumbaa. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like one of those things.

Just tiny-ass folk. Embarrassingly tiny. But Jesus' folk were like five foot. Yeah. And so that was only 2,000 years ago. And so how tall are people going to be in 2,000 more years? We know that? Jesus' folk were five foot.

We're on pace for a bunch of young men. We're not getting taller, are we? Oh, yeah, dude. What, dude? You thought we were getting shorter? What did Jesus look like? Five? Five?

Oh, that's Spud Webb. That's why he died a virgin. Look at him, bro. You could probably raise up, though. You think Jesus could get above the rim? Like, yeah, yeah. Ascend to that dunk in like three days. He's been waiting. You could probably raise up though You think Jesus could get above the rim Like yeah Yeah Ascend to that dunk

In like three days Just waiting Just take a fuck a minute Holy fuck I saw Sass do comedy this weekend He did very well No Jesus would not be good at basketball Why?

Crossed up Holy shit. What did you say, though? You get Pontius Pilate-ed. Thank you. Kyle's been on fire lately. You been on some Pontius Pilate shit? You get Pontius Pilate-ed.

What were you saying about sass this weekend? He did good. What was that video about you with the money counting? Bro, I got chattered up this weekend. Shit. That just did me well. You got that sprinkle cheese. Oh, fuck.

So I did Gotham Comedy Club, and I didn't know what... That's big. Yeah, I didn't know that. You didn't know it was big? No, that was the biggest crowd I've ever done by a lot. I thought it was like 100 people. It's like 300, and it was four sold-out shows a lot. I thought it was like 100 people. It's like 300. And it was four sold out shows.

Damn. Wait, you did one though. No, I did all four. You did four? Yeah. In what span of time? Two Friday night, two Saturday night. Props.

It was awesome though. People were laughing their dicks off at him. Friday was great too. Yeah. There's all four. awesome though people were laughing their dicks off at him friday was great too yeah see look at that bro you posted that shit i didn't even know ron was counting money i didn't know people still flexed liquid on me my shit's on apps. I keep my shit secure. I don't know.

Y'all do your thing. Do your thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sir Food? Speaking of... That's just... What has he been up to? He has a whole new cadence. Have you heard his new cadence?

His new cadence? Yeah, he dropped a whole new cadence. Should we see if he has the wallet on him? Yeah, let's see. Where'd he go? Oh, we can't even wave him in. This is going to be a problem. We can't summon anymore with the tent.

Solely. Solely. Looking Persian. He's watching the yak. Okay. Looking Persian as ever. Why don't you come take a seat? Sit in Big Cat's chair.

You ever sit up here before? Don't X out, though. We need the view. You? Sit in Big Cat's chair. You ever sit up here before? Don't X out, though. We need the view. You ever sit in Big Cat's chair? Pop those buds out so you can hear us. We could because he was listening to the yak. Well, dude, talk in your new cadence that you have. You have a new voice? No cadence, really. There's more cadence.

Lean into the mic. What do you mean, my new voice? No cadence. Your new cadence that you speak in. He doesn't know. Like a pace. Fast? He doesn't know. Oh, it's different.

I don't know what you mean. I know. It's like a new cadence that you have. You have like a new speaking cadence. What were you doing yesterday? I was at the classroom. Heard you were on your Etsy tip. Hello.

Make a wallet? I did make a wallet. You have the wallet on you? It's Etsy tip. Hello. Make a wallet? I did make a wallet. You have the wallet on you? Yeah, why? Can we see it? Oh, absolutely. It's going to be a Viva wallet. Oh, it's not done?

I didn't have a silver Sharpie at the time, so I couldn't write on it. You're going to write Viva on the wallet? Big time. Nice. And it was, give it to TJ. Oh, you're going to give it to TJ Oh you're gonna give it to TJ Yeah he was like that Yeah

You hear this new cadence That he's Yeah he has a new voice It's like a little bit Different cadence What do you mean Yeah That's right

That's not you I've always talked like that No you haven't No you haven't You for sure haven't Say Can I get a mudslide Can I get a mudslide Different Can I get a mudslide?

You just make a different cadence. I actually tried to order a mudslide last night at the hotel. Still, you're still doing it. You're still doing it. You're doing cool. You're like a cool, gravelly voice. Which is fine. I think it's sweet.

Thank you. No. Not recently. Okay. What the devil? Okay. A little bit ago. How's the reading coming?

Flow? Great. For real? I haven't had a lot of time to write. Yeah. We have proof of that now. Video proof. He writes every book that he reads?

He can only write. He can't read. The Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do-It-yourself book would be a nice happy medium for you. Those are the only series I ever did read. Is there a fro-yo? One, two, final. You were a no-yo. Fro-yo, fro-yo.

Woo-woo. TJ? Is that it? Play Alarm Sound Effect 3. Oh, yeah. That's got to be it. Did you hear this? We ordered a fro-yo? Yes. I was on the way back from the airport when you guys ordered it, actually. Yeah, that's got to be it. Did you hear this? Did you hear that we ordered Froyo? Yes.

I was on the way back from the airport when you guys ordered it, actually. What's Froyo short for? Frozen. I don't know. No, no, no way. Wait, wait, wait. You have 20 seconds. No, you have 20 seconds.

Unlimited time. It is a portmanteau or something. The first O is. Okay, Froyo. How do you know there's a second O? Oh, you think it's an acronym? Froyo, yeah. Okay, yeah, it is.

Go. Okay. So F-O. So you got frozen. F-R. Fro. Oh, yeah, Nick. You've been on this hell lately, too.

Frozen. So what's the R? No, you know this. It's very simple. I don't. Think of ice cream. Ice cream. I don't eat ice cream.

Think of it. You know what it is. Think of, like, the texture. Like, someone with a lot of money would be described as this. Rich. Yes. Frozen rich. Oh.

Okay, now think of it's a type of dessert, a popularized cookie with cream in the middle. Oreo. Correct. Then you got the Y. Yogurt. Yes. No. All right, now think.

It's not challenging. It's a repetitive answer. It's redundant. There's a lot of these specific. Yeah. Okay, well, I forgot what the first O was. Thank. All right, now do sitcom.

Who's sitcom? Yeah, sitcom. What does sitcom stand for? No. Thank you. What is this? This is just plain Choco. Yeah, he just got all chocolate.

Chocolate with boba. Chocolate with tart. Chocolate with boba? I don't think there's boba. No. I don't think there's boba? Chocolate with tart? Chocolate with boba? I don't think there's boba. No. I don't think there's boba. Give us a KB.

Yeah, yeah. You got to eat this one there, bro. No, I'm good. No, no, no. We have an extra one. No, you got to eat one because Big Cat's not here. We got nine. Okay.

Where are you flying in from? We were in Chicago. Oh, shit. How was it? Oh, yeah. How was that bar? It was good. No vivas this time. No viva chants on the mic.

Why's that? There was no mic. If there was a mic, rest assured. No. It wasn't even me the first time. I heard you were telling people it was me. Whoa. Where it on the street was.

Oh, yeah. I heard you were low-key pissed at Roan for spreading that rumor. Never met at Roan. So what was the feeling? Have your yogurt. Have your yogurt. Yeah. But you told the guy to do it.

Insinuated. Boys. Did Boba? Popping. He was making a speech anyway. Oh, he was? Strawberries and Butterfinger is what it looks like. Oh, Reese's.

Let me get that Reese's. Is there just one? No, there's a big bag of it. Dude, have your yogurt. Do you not like yogurt? No, I do. You don't like ice cream? No, I'm a big ice cream guy.

Really? Why not? Don't like it. Oh, strawberries. Yum. You like strawberries? The only way I like my ice cream is in a mudslide. Amen, brother. I'm on your side with that.

It's a very good cocktail. How many calories is in a mudslide? Easily 600 apiece. I've seen him put down eight. Butterfingers. That is Butterfinger. You haven't touched your yogurt. Stooly, how many

standard drinks is a mudslide? How many standard drinks? Alcohol-wise, probably one. 1.5. Maybe 1.5. They use multiple different alcohols so I don't really know I think that's very untrue I think it's a strong drink I think it's like 4 or 5

it's nothing but liquor there's no mixer but it tastes like a dessert well they put Kahlua in it so it's kind of a mixer but alcohol yeah that's that's heavy cow a little white Russian is out doing yourself 566 calories do you have like a That's heavy cow. A little white Russian. 566 calories.

5 to 600. Do you have like a week's allowance in an evening? I visit Kava Harisabal. What is Frank? Does he see us? I don't know. What's in the bag? It's a thing for a GoPro that I have to pick up. Also, what's your one-year anniversary at Barstool?

Is it coming up? It's past. No, June 1st was the first day we started. Mine's this Friday. Oh, fuck. Yes, Nick, that's going to be awesome. We've got to do something special for you. Yeah.

Coming up on four years? One. One. You're bad with time. It starts with... Jesus, Sass. I don't know time. It starts with one. Jesus, Sass. I don't know why. I can't understand how hard I try.

I'll eat your fro-yo. This is your selected meal. You have to eat it. Fusoli, how is it? It's good. Can you taste the yogurt? Not really. It just tastes like chocolate ice cream.

It's frozen. It's rich. Frozen. I was going to say frozen ice cream. Yeah, it is. It's like chocolate ice cream. It's frozen. It's rich. Frozen. I was going to say frozen ice cream. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's like frozen ice cream. Frozen rich Oreo yogurt. You strike me as such a pure-hearted dude. It seems like you don't really go out of your way to do wrong or to do bad.

What was the last sin you remember committing? Good question. And for your own good, don't be honest. No sins of the flesh either. Good question. And for your own good, don't be honest. No sins of the flesh either. Boring. I don't really know. What do you mean by sin? A sin like a transgression, a wrong act.

Something that will get you internal damnation. Nothing mortal. Let's go most recent. What's the worst thing you've ever done? This is tough. I don't do a lot of wrong. I know. I love it.

Something that Kevin Spacey would force feed you dozens of cans of ravioli and then write your sin and blood on a wall. Write glutton on a wall with your AB positive blood. I don't know. Blacked out a bunch of times. That's just about it. But who knows what you could have done. And then what did you do?

That's true. What did you do? I don't know. Broke up a fight once. Oh my god. Stopped a fight. Monster. You're just naming cool things. Isn't that the kind of thing to do?

I don't really fight people I got like a cat out of a tree I was wasted Some old lady was crossing the street I helped her She had a bunch of groceries Not anymore When I'm around

I'm kind of a neutral guy I think you're good You're good I think you a neutral guy. I think you're good. I think you're more than neutral. I think you're good. No, that's what I mean. Like, I don't do, I don't, like, I don't try to fight people. Yes. I like that.

Something. So you've never blacked out and, like, committed a moral sin? I fought someone drunk, yes, but. Really? Yeah. I don't even. You're probably wronging a woman or something like that. Yeah. It has to be something like that. Yeah.

It has to be something of that. You ever have a fake ID? Oh, yes. So what do you think about the... Have you ever looked at teddies online? Oh, come on. Without paying. Live on air.

Paying or no? Without. Three porns of sin. So the St. Peter's guy transferred to Bryant. Yes. That shocked me. I know guy transferred to Bryant. Yes. That shocked me. I know the bare minimum of that process. So he entered the transfer portal.

Yeah. Not knowing what offers he would get? Is that how it works? I don't know. Did you guys get your yogurt? Boys, go get yogurt. When you're in the transfer portal, all schools have permission to contact you.

But when you enter it, you don't know beforehand if you are going to get offers. Schools can't legally contact you until you're in the portal. So he's in the portal. Probably, in my head, he's assuming a Power 5 is going to recruit him or what? I mean, he was not a starter on that team until the tournament. Oh, what? No, he wasn't a superstar at all. Nobody on that team really was a superstar. I team until the tournament. Like, he was not, like, a superstar. No, he wasn't, like, a superstar at all. Like, nobody on that team really was a superstar.

I just assumed he was. Are a lot of people transferring out of there now? Yeah, I think their top three transferred and their coach left, so. The coach left. All right, so why Bryant? I don't know. It's kind of like a lateral move, sort of. They're building, though.

They probably got money. What about LSU? They have more money. They lost their entire team. Oh, and Brian is probably... How many D1 programs are in Rhode Island? Brown, Providence, URI. It's not in the top four.

They're probably the last of the fourth. Yeah. Yeah. They have a business program. Yeah, whatever. All right. Why do you ask? All right.

There are a lot of decisions like that that don't make sense now because of NIL stuff we don't see. Stay here. Stay with me. I want to go get the wallet for you guys. Oh, yes. Is it ready to be shown? Yeah.

I just didn't write on it yet. All right, grab it, grab it. I thought he was trying to leave. Hey, you can't throw out that yogurt either. I'll put it on my desk. Put it on his desk. He's so pure. He's so pure.

You ever meet people who you're like, ooh, he might not have original sin? Something most of us are born with. That's why we get baptized. Some people are born without original sin, though. KB's not one of them because he said he was going to eat yogurt and he's lying to us. He just mixed it up and is leaving it there to rot in front of us. When it was your thing, I added to the wheel. I do, too, but I think it's delightful.

Now we all have yogurt tummy. Gummy tummy? No, no, no. Gummy tummy. Dude, I would trade gummy tummy for this right now. I wouldn't want to trade tummy. No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't.

Gummy tummy is... Yogurt tummy is worse for the immediate moment. Oh, no, I've seen you with gummy tummy. Yeah, gummy tummy lasts a few hours. You're a monster. This split second of yogurt tummy is... Yogurt tummy is worse for the immediate moment. I've seen you with gummy tummy. Yeah, gummy tummy lasts a few hours. You're a monster. This split second of yogurt tummy is brutal. I feel great. You didn't have the strawberries, did you, Owen?

It's just what I needed. Helps with the fiber. It's gone. That's better than gummy tummy. Let's see the wallet. God damn. I'll intro this quick. So I got a text.

Nobody says. A little stiff. How do you know how to make wallets? What smithery is that? What smiths make wallets? It's duct tape. A duck smith. I don't know who works with leather.

A leather worker. Can I get a true or false? My good friend Jack McCarthy texted me. He said, A leather worker. Vistuli, can I get a true or false? My good friend Jack McCarthy texted me. He said, I was sitting with Vistuli for five hours today. I kept seeing him play with the tape. Out of nowhere, he handed me a wallet that said Viva on it and said, I may have missed shopping day, but at least I have this Viva wallet. Truth.

That's awesome. Is it a Viva wallet, though? I didn't have a silver Sharpie to write Viva on. It has to be silver? Yeah, it's a black wallet. Yeah. Light color. Yeah, right.

Is silver the only color? It's a nice wallet. White. Good size, too. Yeah. So you made that from scratch? Yeah. That's actually sweet.

Have you ever, like, slung those as a business? Nah. Kids did it in, like, middle school, though. I just remember. Eh, it's fair. I know what you're thinking, Rem. The top pocket's pretty shallow. So you can flex the bills. Right.

That's right. Sass, you got bills? Put them in there. I keep them at home. I don't walk around with those. Maybe he wouldn't know what to do with one of these things. He doesn't even fuck with the Fiat. Oh.

Oh. wouldn't know what to do with one of these things. He doesn't even fuck with the Fiat. We're not leaving until everybody finishes their yogurt. That's right. Somebody asked for Stooley if any of the tech guys have reacted to his use of gaff tape. Have any of the tech guys ever reacted to his use of gaff tape? Yes. What do they say? It was not Andrew's.

It wasn't his tape? No. This material is impressive. What do they say? It was not Andrew's. His tech? It wasn't his tape? No. I'm all swag. Yeah, you're good. I got a good look. Yeah, why don't you feel it? Feel it.

Would you open it? It's pretty sturdy. How much do you think is too much to spend for a wallet? How much is too much to spend for a wallet? Over $100. You want a solid $100? $200. I don't know. You want a solid? Two. I don't know.

You swag? Depends on your salary. I guess you're right. How about for like big cap? If you can find a fly one. It's a good wallet. I just use the phone back. Yeah, I use that for a while, but...

A bifold over a trifold? That sounds confusing. You probably can't even make a trifold. You can't make a trifold. Can you? Well, a bifold is like Kristen Stewart playing poker. Guess so. I wish you would have...

I wish you would have made it to shopping day, though. That would have been cool. We missed you out there, man. Hopefully we can use you there. Yeah, we really loved you, but we're sad you couldn't be there. It happens. Next year? Maybe.

You got to save up. Fasoli's going to be on SNL this time next year. Would you? No. I'll be here. Yeah? That's right. Until? Who knows? You here yeah that's right until

who knows you die that's right okay or until Dave starts a new company and then you we all follow him correct

wherever Prez goes we all go go Prez go viva it's like a V it is a V. It is a V. Did you finish it? Oh, shit. Your first fucking mistake. Recently,

destroy his tenured host. Oh, no. Way too cocky in Fasoli's presence. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Why did he go with the new cadence? Oh, shit. Yeah, the new cadence threw him off, got him comfortable. Why did you do me like that?

I don't know. Don did. I was just saying how good you are. That's the thing about him. You walk into the buzzsaw. And it is the truth, too. It's not even a sin. Tell him the truth ain't a sin.

Is it? No, sir. See? You hear that cadence? No, sir. Oh, man. Do you have a sign-off? Nah. Do you like when you're talking to a baby

and you do the two lips together bubble sound? What? Can you try that? Like a raspberry and you do the two lips together bubble sound. What? Can you try that? Like a raspberry? Yeah, like the lips together, like a farty type sound. Like a raspberry. You're like bubbling. No, a continuous sound.

Like you're giving a raspberry to someone's tummy. Yeah, you're about to do it. I've never seen you purse. I don't think about to do it. I've never seen you purse. I don't think you can do it. I don't think you can purse. That's why I told him to do it. Purse. Yeah, the mic,

then we're off. All right, good show, everybody. Appreciate you all. Beautiful. We'll be right back. It's Doc Sharp, we're doing Yankees, Bob is the act. It's the act. Booth team is dominating the case, Rose. 10x.