The Yak - We Present The Lost Tapes | The Yak 3-25-22

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

Lost TapesYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, what was that? What the fuck? What was that? What type of Iowa morning news shit was that? Should we consolidate our seats? Is it easier for you, TJ, if we did that? No, it's all good. All right.

We're not that spread out. We just have to move in. Three cams. What's up, everyone? A little housekeeping. I can't hear myself in the headphones. What? I can't hear myself in the headphones.

Am I dead? Did I die last night along with your game of the year? Oh, wow. That's early. I just figured we'd just kind of lance the boil. Let's rip the bandaid. 34 seconds. A little bit.

Dude, it's bad. It wasn't fun. Yeah, it sucked. It was fun to watch, kind of. Oh, yeah. I mean, the internet just shit down my throat. And then we went to record part of my take at 1 in the morning. I get all the way home.

I do one last look at my phone, and fucking Grayson Allen's dunking on me. I hate that guy. You got tripped up by the goat? No, he's a fucking... I hate him It's awesome that he did that Replied to you But I wouldn't think

He would go at people On Twitter He so easily Then dunked on himself Yeah I told I invited I didn't realize

He followed me I invited him on After Duke loses What if he never comes on That'll be a bad omen There won't be There won't be any show anymore if Duke wins at all. There won't be any Big Cat anymore. I'm contemplating quitting sports.

I will say this. As a member of the hate Coach K army, and I'm dying for this to end, having Must be the guy to give the knife and go out and try to assassinate this guy, that's a guy I trust. No, Must. Guy I wanted to fight. That's the guy I wanted to fight. That's a guy I wanted to fight. That's a guy I wanted to fight.

I also, I can't just, I just hate Duke. I hate Duke too. And I hate Duke fans that are like, why do you hate us? Marty and Hank are confused why people hate them. Look at them. But at the same time though, I could have used a little bit of, because I was pretty heavy on Texas Tech, but I could have used a skull fucking.

I could have used Marty and fucking Hank to have just eviscerated that room. And they kind of walked on eggshells, which I guess is, you know, that's good form, that's good etiquette. But at the same time, though, all the shit that was talked, that was a chance to be able to go down the line with a fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Well, I think there's two parts of it. One is Hank knows that he bothers me so much when he doesn't say anything.

He just has this smug look. Drives me insane. So he knows that's by far worse for me than him, like, outwardly saying something. And let's be honest, obviously Duke won, but it's not like they won it all. Marty has to hold off his fight. It would be premature. We get three more shots at this thing. Even when it got down to three points and they had already celebrated,

it was like, oh, that was a little bit premature. Right. They have more to go. I was just – I'm going to try to stop them at every spot here. The problem with that – Roadblocks. The problem with that is this is the last time to truly – this is the last moment against Arkansas where he can lose

and it be a little disgrace. Like, if he loses in the Final Four – No, no, no, no, no. If he loses in the Final Four, Dan, what's going to happen is they're going to lose by five, and at the end buzzer, everybody in that big stadium is going to give him a standing ovation. It's going to be a moment. It's going to be a sick moment.

Not you, but it's going to happen. I'll throw a tomato at his head. It's going to happen. Imagine if I threw a tomato at Coach Lee's head. Old cabbage. A banana peel. Yeah, trip him up a little bit. Oh, as long as they don't win the championship, Brandon. All right.

Brandon, you are. I think Brandon's right. No, he's not, because it's actually. We've got to take him out tomorrow, Dan. I think it win the championship, Brandon. All right. Brandon, you are. Brandon's right. No, he's not because it's actually. We've got to take him out tomorrow, Dan. I think it's the other way around. If Duke goes to the Final Four, all Duke fans are going to just assume they're going to win the title. And then when they don't, it's going to be delicious. If they lose the championship, it would be awesome.

Yeah. If they lose the Final Four, it would be awesome because you don't remember who goes to Final Fours all that often. I do. They'll make it a big thing but i just yeah they gotta lose they gotta go if it's all must bus i'm listen i'm gonna get my energy back up i'll be here it's like 9 p.m start which is dumb jd note jd note can't play worse he shot 30 times last night. He shot 30 times. He's going to hit some of them eventually. How tall is he?

Is he NBA height? 6'3", 6'2". Is he NBA height? Yeah, I think he is. Yeah, let's talk about Arkansas. They fucking, or Houston. They mark a smart height, didn't they? What an unbelievable, took out two one seeds.

Are we talking sports today? Abe Blattman. Yeah, well, we don't have the, what are they? What do you call them? The nerfs? No. ARPS. ARPS. ARPS.

Non-athletic regular people. Although KB's probably the most athletic. Pretty athletic. Far and away the most athletic. Like the point stands, though, they get in our way of really letting it loose with the sports talk. Can we get Blattman in here? I want to rub it in his face to make myself feel better. That's what you got to do.

You got to bring someone else down. Yeah, that's how you bring yourself up. Get Blackman in here, then spin the wheel while he's in here, and then he'd have to get wet on top of Arizona loss. I could really use some Lomos. Spin that bitch. Get Blackman.

Double spin Fridays? I don't know. I don't mind a double spin Friday. We have precious time on this earth, fellas. Why not just fucking spin that thing? Oh, look at that. It's starting to get thinner. Oh, I forgot.

We're taking dries out. Oh, yeah. The only way we can be safe is a wheel reset. That's the beauty of this wheel. This fucking wheel, man. I love it. I love the idea. Like, there's something about going into work every day and being like,

I might go home and just be sopping wet. Oh, yeah. It's a day in the office. It is warm out today. Beautiful out. Dude, I was going to go art shopping later today. Art shopping? Imagine if I'm all sopping while I'm art shopping.

Fucking imagine that look. Art shopping? I want something for my walls. What kind of art do you want? I don't know. Something not too expensive, but something that makes you feel something. Are you talking retro art? Like not NFTs?

Are we talking black? Are we talking about real art? And fungible tokens. Trying to introduce color to your apartment? A little bit. I want some purple. Just some purple. Not going to get it, though.

You love Rothko, right? I hate Rothko, bro. It just doesn't make me feel anything, dude. I want some art that at least is going to, at least is fiery or some shit like that. So you just really, you don't want to buy the art. You want to shop for art. No, I want to have something that I can look at every day. You drink champagne when you shop for art?

I've never done it. We should go shop for art. I've only done it online on like One Run and shit like that. And like fucking. And like Etsy? Etsy, Society6 and shit like that. And a little wood board that says Big, laugh, love on Etsy? Yes.

And that's all I have right now. Where do you buy art? I don't know. I don't know. It's got to be Art Studios. The one place, One Run, it always has cool-ass skateboards. There he is. Come on.

Come on. From Kirkland's in the mall. Come on. From TJ Maxx. So Arizona just chokes again. Grab a mic. You're coming in so I can feel better about myself. I want to bring you down.

How heartbroken are you? I saw you throughout the this is my favorite team ever tweet. It is? Wow. I love these guys. They never even got past the sweet 16. Oh.

Do you want me to add to this? Yeah, sure. It was disappointing. It was your favorite team ever. It was. Damn. Ow. And they lost.

You're really enjoying this. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm down. Before we do this, was anybody really classy to you this morning when you got here? Did Brandon tell you about this? No. Walked up to me, shook my hand. Wow.

Oh, that's disgusting. It was a nice moment. We've all been that's disgusting. It was a nice moment. We've all been there, brother. It was a really nice moment. That's condescending. I would have said get away. Slap that hand. Yeah, let me just fucking wallow in misery over here.

What about the teams that won championships though? Yes. Do you like this? 97, what about Miles Simon? That was before he went to school. That was before my time. Oh, got you. What about the teams that were really good in like 14 and 15?

What about DeAndre Aitken? What happened to those teams? Derrick Williams. What about Alonzo Trier? Yeah. Oh, Alonzo Trier. Steroids. What about Laurie Markham?

What about him? That was a great Pac-12 championship. Favoritable. I was there. Which one? I was. When Laurie won. They beat Oregon.

16, 17? Yeah, something like that. 17. 14 and that, 17. 14 and 15 really hurt. What about Mustafa Shakur? That hurt for you specifically, right? No, it hurt way more for you. Why, what happened?

I don't know. I got to go enjoy the Final Four, and you definitely walked into that game being like, we're not going to lose to a bunch of white boys. I do that a lot. I hate Wisconsin. Yeah, I know. Dude, what do we mean? People that make people so bad.

They're so unathletic, so white. I mean, Frank Kaminsky and Sam Decker are very much out there. Why are they so good at basketball every year? Well, you had – do you think – now, just – do you think it might have been because Benedict Mathurin touched that titty? Stop. Do you think it might have had something to do with it? He did touch the titty, though.

He groped a female. Inadvertently. And they lost the game. It looked verdant. Did you see he lined it up with her earlobe so it'd be right on the nipple? If Trump does that, everyone's freaking out. Did he have to even answer for it? Did he say anything about it?

Did he? I don't think he was ever publicly questioned or had a... Plus, that was TCO. He was a good Christian girl, too. I ended up winning last night because, like I said, on Sunday night, I saw that in Chicago. And I bet Houston, because I was like, this guy's going to get suspended for touching this titty. When you walked up to me yesterday saying he got suspended for the front. Oh, his heart dropped.

It was awesome. He's like, what? Shut up. Which proved my point to you. It was like the one moment I didn't have my phone on me and he just... Yeah, which proved my point that he groped a female. No. Yeah.

That angle looks crazy. He did. I'll tell you exactly what's happening. What? I want to say again, because people are going to be like, cancel culture. I am strictly against... No, you're cancel culture. No, I'm strictly against...

No, you're cancel culture. No, hold on. No, you're cancel culture. I'm strictly against cancel culture unless it could potentially win me money gambling. Got it. Fully for cancel culture. All right. Can I explain what happened there?

Please. From my eyes. That's fair. Yeah, that's totally fair, right? Fair, yes. If I can cancel someone before a big game, I'm going to try to do it. Yes. Their fans were booing Matherin.

What's her titty got to do? Oh, I'm going to get you back by touching the titty. I'm not done. What does her left titty have to do with the fans booing? Was her breast booing him? They were booing him. He dropped 30 on their ass after they chanted overrated at him. Oh, my God.

So he's sarcastically trying to give high fives. He said, watch this. Sarcastically trying to give high fives. He doesn't even look at her. Flatman, you know what you're coming across as right now? You're coming across as a guy who's got two sons. No, here's what I'll say. Not a daughter. You can blame us. Here's what I'll say. You're coming across as right now? You're coming across as a guy who's got two sons. No, here's what I'll say. Not a daughter.

Hick them, Blayne. Here's what I'll say. You're coming across. Here's what I'll say. You guys are fake news. We're girl dads. We're girl dads. I'm gone.

This has been really fun. You're trying to talk your news. This made me feel really good. One day my daughter might be a TCU cheerleader, and your scumbag team will touch her breast. I'm trying to stop that from happening. That felt good. I feel way better now.

Anybody else we can punch down at? Anyone else we can just really rub their face in the dirt to make ourselves feel better? Yeah. It's a tried and true method. But who else lost last night? Michigan? Call Dave. Dave's a master at spinning out of stuff.

He doesn't... Spring football already started. Teflon Don when it comes to that. He doesn't wear those losses. You gotta get him on tax evasion or something like that. That's the only way we're gonna... He's behind on YAC appearances. Yeah, he is. He's big time behind.

Oh, man. I got an interesting text from him this morning. Oh, yeah. It got an interesting text from him this morning. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. Interesting. Yes.

Actually makes me rub my palms together. How interesting. Are you excited for it? Yeah, I actually am. Very excited for it. How's that for a fucking tease?

No, it's not that. No, it's not a congratulations. It's just something sick that we're going to be doing. It's going to be fucking sick.

Hey, enjoy the ride. I'm going to enjoy the climb. Oh, we're going to enjoy it. If's going to be fucking sick. Hey, enjoy the ride. I'm going to enjoy the climb. Oh, we're going to enjoy it. If you know what I mean. Mm-hmm. You know exactly what you mean. Spaghetti Warehouse is getting bought out by Barstool Sports.

Yep. About to open up a pasta chain. We're having all of our chairs are going to have those big fucking wheels of mozzarella that you just eat spaghetti out of. And like a big shank of fucking pecorino or some fucking cheese or some meat that you can just shave off. You're going to have to heat the wheels or is your own ass going to moisten? No, it's going to be every computer is going to be swapped out with that wheel. Oh, okay.

So no more computers at Parsons. Oh, dude, we forgot to spin the wheel with Platinum. Oh, yeah. All right, let's spin it. If we get wet, he's coming back. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! If we get wet, he's coming back. Oh! We got this over the news broadcast. Here we go.

Wet me up. Wet me up. Oh, boy. Wet me up! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! I wanted Lomo.

Okay. I wanted Lomo, boys. Oh, fuck. That feels good. I'm ordering it for the crew. All of us. I literally said today, I was like, you know what could be great? Lomo. It's a Lomo day.

Oh, man. We deserve it, though. Yeah, we do. Okay, ordering the Lomo. This shit's fucking awesome. Actually, can I help you with the order? Why? Hold on.

Just like to help. I'll get the next one. What part of... Oh, because you're rich now? I'll get the next one. Wow, Brandon. Oh, okay. Beat us.

We're on down. Get the next one. All right. Six of us, six Lomos? Lomos? Lovely. Get this one, Brandon. Get dessert.

Flan? Come on. Are you going to get us a flan? Ah, Brandon. What does that like? You brought in Galoob Jamun? Oh, yeah. Galoob Jamuni.

Have you had Galoob Jamun? Nah. Galoob Jamun? Is that a girl you grew up with? Why do you look like that? Nah, because I'm trying to. You said I like it. I'm trying to figure out what it is.

I like it. Oh, I thought you said Zah. I did too. That's why Roan. Yeah, Roan. Roan was a Galoob Jamoon. I like it. You do?

Roan was a Galoob Jamoon. I do like Galoob Jamoon. It's a yogurt. It's an Indian dish. It's got honey in it. It's a yogurt ball. There's not yogurt in it, is there? Their balls are made of yogurt, but they come across like a donut hole.

Donut? Donut. Yeah. Is it the Oscars this weekend or the Grammys or some shit? It's the Oscars. Jeff Dillow called in a pick central yesterday with his picks. Wait, it's the Oscars? I need to watch all the movies before then.

You guys want to make our picks? I still haven't. I didn't finish Pig. I like probably the one about the interracial relationship that ends up in a feel-good story. That's the one I like. Oh, that historically has been hot. Green Book? Didn't that win?

Hidden Figures? Did that win? Glory? Shrek. Shrek. Then I saw her face. There's a fly in here Oh fuck

Close the door So my negotiations fell apart Yeah so Brandon I caught this on the goat I did catch it I'm the fucking goat Wow Eat that fly

Make him lick the fly off your hand I'm all that is man Brandon caught a fruit fly Brandon fucked up today. Brandon's trying to secure a Twitter account. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. He negotiated without Roan Cat Management.

We are literally, that's our job, dude. That's stupid. I'm a bulldog. I'm not part of Roan Cat Management. You are. Yeah, you are. What? I manage Ben Bishop on my own, but we manage you.

Okay. You don't manage my life. You understand how pure it is. You have your own quirk. I manage Ben Bishop on my own, but – We manage you. Okay. You don't manage my life. You understand how pure – You have your own clerk. You're like Lloyd in Entourage. You're a terrible negotiator. Yeah. We have your own client, but you work for them.

Right. We negotiate for you. All right. Well, it's been weird. It's gotten weirder by the minute. This guy just – Why? Give us the update.

So he erased everything from the account he took everything off his it's at brandon something walker oh it's pretty easy but but it's uh at it's an at brandon walker account that he clearly squatted on and his last his last tweet or retweet was april 2020 but he had a bunch of retweets that were all in Italian. So I don't know. He had 37 followers. And then when I DMed him, I said, how much for the account? He said all he answered with was a phone number. That's all he answered with. He answered with a phone number.

And I said, all right, I'm going to call you at 1 o'clock on the yak. How was your first mistake? I was at a mistake. Because you just basically opened yourself up to a yes or no question where he gets to pull back on the negotiation. What was his reply? His reply was no. Exactly.

He won. He just won that. Literally won that. That's when he wiped everything, and he DMed me back from the account after wiping everything, and now has zero followers, zero tweets, zero anything, and he says, don't dox me, bro. And I said, I'm not going to. I just want the app. That's all I want.

And I said... He said, bro? He said we had no... He's not very Italian. He said we had no intentions of saying your name or the app or anything. And he said, offline only. I said, how about right here? He said, no, just text or call me. And I said, well, I'm not going to text or call you because then you have my phone number. And then... star six seven and and and i said it's twitter

as oh my god greer not nuclear codes what the fuck does he think he's doing i'm sorry that's where i offered him a thousand dollars and he said um you know why are you negotiating without us that's stupid that was stupid if y'all want to call the number i don't know if you i don't what the minute he says don't dox you want to. I don't. The minute he says, don't dox me, you should write back, okay, I'm going to dox you unless you give me this account. Hardball. Or tickets to a White Sox game. Yeah.

Or a trip to Italy. Should I text him that I'm going to, should I threaten to dox him? No. It's too late now. He's probably watching us. $27,000. Brutal off the rip. He's across the street looking through the blinds with fucking binoculars watching us right now.

He knows what we're doing. I just want the app. We gave up our location, though. There was another guy a couple months ago that had an app I wanted because I want to get SEC out of my app. Another guy had it. I asked for the money. How would anyone know what you root for? It's your calling card.

No, it's not. I want to do other things besides. You're going to put in WWE? The SEC guy. If I'm college football, i shouldn't just be sec i should be like no but i mean come on anyway uh i tried to negotiate with a guy a couple months ago that had another one it was just his at brandon walker and i asked how much he said six hundred thousand dollars and you what did you encounter? I said no. So you didn't encounter? Correct, I didn't encounter.

You should have countered with $60. $600 is a non-start. You don't know how negotiations work. What if he was kidding and you were like $100 and he was like sure? Yeah. No, he wasn't kidding because he gave me a sob story about what he would use it for. What would he use it for? What was the thing?

I can't. You have to now. I've already said his ad. I've already said his ad. I'm not going to say that. You're not only bad at negotiating, but you also believe the tweets where someone replies to a tweet being like, I have a sick kid and I just lost my job. Can you please buy me a PS5?

Very close to that. He's going to use the $600,000 on a PS5. I just want the ad. I just want a better ad. That's all. You need to leverage, and you need to play hardball, and you need to lowball people, and you need to put the ball in your court and control the situation.

You're giving up control to every situation so fast. It's just a Twitter ad. You've got to say what you're offering. Brandon Walker SEC. Set the terms of the negotiation. I had not. You got to say what you're offering. Brandon Walker SEC. Set the terms of the negotiation. I had another guy reach out to me. Jesus Christ. How many guys are you going after?

No. Another guy. After I said this story on Pick Central, another guy reached out to me and said, what this guy today did is he wants you to go offline because he does want to sell it to you. But if he says, agrees to a price on Twitter, Twitter will shut his account down and I can just have it for free. It'll be against the terms of service. He can't sell it to me on Twitter, so that's why he wants to go offline. So why don't you-

He do have his phone number if you want to call him. I'm just saying. Why don't you- The I, a capital L. Hold on. You are so stupid sometimes, Brandon. I know you don't like that, but you are. That's not-

That's a lot. What you just said, though, go back to the $600,000 guy and say, deal. I don't have, okay. Quit it, shut him down. Oh, fuck. You're right. Do it, do it, do it now, do it now, do it now.

I mean, I see that. Do it and send it, do it and send it. Be like, deal, just please sign here and at Jack. All right. Do you see how big cat did that? See if they shut him down. Right, just like that? That. Be like, deal. Just please sign here and at Jack. All right. Do you see how big cat did that? See if they shut it down. Right? Just like that?

That was like that, dude. Do you see how he just- I got to re-enter the negotiations with him. Get him to legally say that he's going to sell you the account for $600,000. Boom, he's gone. We're like, what's the best way to pay you or something? Yeah, right. How can I-

All right. So July 20- And no for for 600,000 july 27 2021 how much for me to buy the app he said apologies just saw the message he said if i ever actually did sell i'd ask for 600,000 to pay the payoff blank uh yes five and i um i have it on layaway and and then uh i said then i asked would you really sell it but for a doable amount of money and he never answered me. What else could he be selling?

What else could he be paying off with $600,000 other than just the house? How does somebody who needs $600,000 have no... Right. Would you take $300,000? Also, there's no market for this. There's one Brandon Walker looking for this. Still, I'm still looking to buy this. Like, hey, I just signed a new contract.

I have $600,000 laying around. Yeah, just idly in an account. Would you agree to this deal? Boom. Send it to Twitter. See you, buddy. Bang. Then you're rolling in that account.

Or does it get spiked forever? Or does it just become public domain? The difference in these guys is this guy here is, I think it's, he's had it a long time. He didn't squat on it. That's just his app. Which one? Are you saying that might be his name?

Yeah, that's his name. That's this guy's name. Right, sorry. He's been squatting on it since birth. The other guy just plain squatted on it. Right. Have you thought about doing a Brendan Walker? I've definitely not. I don't like that. Pivot off of it. squatting on it since birth the other guy the other guy just plain squatted on it right have you thought about doing a brendan walker i've definitely not i don't like that pivot off of it

or how about full fucking brandon fucking walker i don't know that you can do that i don't know if that's marketable you can at bfw's at that account whoa i don't know how to get it talk to guys all right not in five years. The path of least resistance is the $1,500 guy who wants to go offline. Or getting the $600,000 guy to agree to this. Yeah, you should just go forward with it. He already made you the offer, so if you take it, then that's a deal. I say deal.

Deal. That's legally binding. But now will you lose your account, too, because you're buying one? I don't know. Good question. What if you just add WWF to SEC? Well, WWF is World Wildlife Fund. Okay, then add WWE to that, too.

So Brandon Walker. I don't work for them, so I think they'd have a problem with that. They don't fucking care. You don't work for the SEC, either. I worked for a company called SEC Country at the time, and they made us all put SEC in there. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I don't know. You know what? Never mind. Let's spin the wheel. We already did. We're getting low, Mo.

Okay, cool. Why don't you call that guy? Why don't you call that guy's number? Just push the mic away. All I want out of this is for you to agree that you'll never negotiate again without me and Roan present. I will allow you. This is all a mess that we could have figured out. Why didn't y'all negotiate

my contract with Dave? I would have. Could have easily. Could have easily on air. I sat down and talked to Dave for a minute and a half and I got fucked. Could have easily. Yeah, right. Listen, we could have figured this out for you. Instead you went rogue and now... Now you're flapping in the wind

ass naked. Yeah. Because I know what would happen. If I let you guys do it You would About halfway through You would start off with good intentions And then you would figure out Oh this is a great way to fuck Brandon Correct

And then you would fuck me real good Yep I don't think so I don't think you would have actually gotten fucked Oh I would have gotten good and fucked He just said Yeah yeah Well what we're doing right now

Is a little negotiating tactic Called good cop bad cop Right I don't Yes I would have fucked you I would have fucked you so hard I don't even think he would have, I would have fucked you. I would have fucked you so hard. I don't even think he would have actually. I would have put my dick,

it would have touched the back of your throat. It would have barely gotten your lips, is what I'm saying. Oh, fuck. It's a management style. Yeah. It's firm but fair. It's just a style, you know?

I don't like how seamless you guys are at it, too. Yeah, we're on the pick and roll. A well-oiled machine. We've been doing this for a long-ass time. Yeah, we're going to have to get Sass's new contract. Oh, yeah, we'll get the baby boy hooked up. Fuck yeah. I think the entire YAC should be involved in that negotiation.

I think we just need to get him a free subscription to BetterHelp. Or let him... Let's let him enter Barstool Idol. Yes, out under a pseudonym and get a double contract. Have him wear a mustache or something. I like that. Would you be willing to donate your mustache to SAS? I would, yes.

Where's Enrique going? At a party? Enrique's got a fantastic coat on. I don't think it is. It's too heavy, you're saying,. Where's Enrique going? At a party? Enrique's got a fantastic coat on. That's too much coat for me, too. No, I don't think it is. Oh, it's too heavy, you're saying, or it's too garish? He's got a very, very big knapsack. I think you could flip that thing over on him.

Yeah, dude, remember flipping knapsacks? Get the wheel ready. You've got to spin the wheel. We've got to spin the wheel. You have to. We have to spin the wheel Why? You're part of the show today One of my wristbands

Possibly could get wet You could also get a Lomo Saltado Or you could reset our wheel You could get a Peruvian dish I'd spin it for Blatman This is for Blatman only Fucking hate this place Lock the door brother

Aw it's pretty safe See? Almost got us a wheel reset What if he had reset it? for Blackman only. I fucking hate this place. Lock the door, brother. Oh, it's pretty safe. You see? Almost got us a wheel reset. What if he had reset it? Would that have reset it for us? I think just for him and we would have gone again. So that's a dry day.

Go touch some more breasts. Might as well have done it yourself. He did have a very funny Twitter interaction last night where somebody was talking to him, and he was like, what were you saying? You said something and trying to insult somebody. And he said, you're kind to say that.

Oh, it was about Rex Chapman. Right, you said you hated him. Yeah. And the guy was like, you're kind would say that or to say that. And you were like, what, Jews? He was trying to say, you are kind to say that. It was a classic, you are, you are grammar mistake. Oh, no.

All right, you're kind. You people, you. What do you mean, you people? What happened? Have you guys been enjoying Rex Chapman? Stephen Chase weighing in on my situation by texting me. What did he say? Side weighing in?

He just told me about his past dealing with ads, which I have no idea who would have had Stephen Chay to begin with. Rex Chapman is not good on TV. No, he's not. Or Twitter. He's universally hated. He actually is a unifier in that I've seen people from every walk of life, every corner of Twitter hating on him. It's important.

It is. The role he has is important. Yeah. No, you're right. He might be Jesus. It's just his cross to bear. He just has to go out and unify the world against one man. Block or charge. Block or charge.

There's a lie in this prep sheet. Uh-oh. Jerry Thornton pens a blog addressing a rumor started by a Boston hockey guy that Tom Brady is trying to orchestrate. And it just stops. Stevie got so angry. There was so much

tone in it. You could actually see where his head hit the fucking keyboard. He got pissed. He typed that, brother. He didn't pen that. That's a bald-faced lie by our boy Steven Che. Steven is... Oh, man, that would be incredible if he got traded. Steven is also eating a garbage full mouth right now.

Let's read the third other. What is the most majestic sandcastle you've ever made? I've never built a majestic sandcastle. I can't say I have either. Any sandcastle I made was piss poor at best. What is the most majestic? I don't have a Rolodex of ones in my head I could choose from. But you know Stephen Chay has built a majestic sandcastle.

And some less good sandcastles. And one day he just... I know you have a picture. He also has, can you float on your back? That's just the picture of your sandcastle, Stephen. I know you have it. Are you buoyant? Is that something everyone can do? Then he hits tab and asks the same exact question again. Yeah.

I think everyone can float on their back, right? If you have air in your lungs, you can float on your back. Stephen might not be able to. He you have air in your lungs, you can float on your back. Steven might not be able to. He has no air in his lungs. I can't wait for the full yak. Treadwater challenge? Treadwater challenge.

We should do like a polar bear plunge or some shit like that. I'm down to do a treadwater challenge where we have a big time cash prize. Yeah. People are actually fighting for the death. Yeah, like the like touch the bus ones Where it goes like days I think this show in general could use like One to two near death drownings Oh yeah

And some big infusion of cash to someone Yeah right New money Some new money to just change everybody Fuck I want it bad As if like KB won a million dollars Cause half the show was wrong. Because Nick died.

I would shake up the dynamics. It really would. Change everything. Want to split up KB and Nick? The only way. For years. I think it's happening. Actually? Yeah. Nick hasn't been around.

What is Nick doing? I heard Nick's been in Bora Bora for weeks. Did y'all watch their new show, though? It's funny as fuck. I saw some of the- How do I get this on Barstool? Oh, they finally did it? Yeah, it came out yesterday. I love it.

I've been wanting that show forever. It's on the Anus YouTube, I believe. Right? Yes. That's a deadly crossover, them with Kate. Yeah. Triple H had a- He had a heart attack a couple

of months ago, and he didn't announce today. And you were complaining about him not wrestling anymore? You were pissed off at him? He was a pain in the butt. You're a bellyache. Don't let this get out. Don't let it get out because there's something to get out.

No, today he announced he will never wrestle again, and I said, oh, that's sad. That's what I said out. No, today he announced he will never wrestle again. And I said, oh, that's sad. That's what I said. It's sad that he's never going to wrestle again. It's sad that he had a heart attack. It is. He had the cardiac event a couple of months ago.

It's been very quiet. What is the difference between a heart attack and a cardiac event? I don't know. He's calling it a cardiac event. Why? That's what you tell your close friends. Is heartburn considered a cardiac event? No, because that's not actually in your heart, right?

That's in your chest. What about if you get broken up with? That's a cardiac event? No, because that's not actually in your heart, right? That's in your chest. What about if you get broken up with? That's a cardiac event. What if your bet of the year loses? Game of the year. That's a cardiac event. We did it again. TJ just sent you. We did it again.

What do you mean you didn't? We did it again. What did we do again? DJ pull that up Makes me sick Oh Alright This makes

Nevermind What? Jay said he hasn't built A sandcastle Himself ever He was just thinking about This one this morning And it's the

And it's the It's the most majestic one You've ever seen? It's It's bunch Oh Jesus Christ. So he's just like. So he was just setting up a punchline when he worked from home?

Mm-hmm. I love that. Incepting. He's just looking at sandcastles? Buck's sandcastles? I guarantee you he Googles Buck's sandcastles a lot. He just Googles Buck's Super Bowl? He just looks at images? That's just the fourth best Buck's sandcastles a lot. He just Googles Buck's Super Bowl? He just looks at images?

That's just the fourth best Buck's Sandcastle you've ever seen. That's like a professional. I wouldn't call that a sandcastle. I mean, that's a sculpture. That's also Mickey Mouse year, COVID year. Also, like, look at the face mask. That shit is trash. I don't know when it comes to sandcastles if that's really very good.

No, it's not. It's well, that's trash. I don't know when it comes to sand castles if that's really very good. No, it's not. It's just a pile of sand. There's a chance that Champion 2021 is Photoshopped on. Who drew this? Look at the R in super. Dude, this is one of the worst sand castles I've ever seen. TJ, did you see what I texted you? I don't think the L is the right proportion.

Look at this. Ugh. We did it again. Dude, this is a simulation. It happens so much because Brandon tries to copy me. I do not. How would I be copying you if it happened at the same time? Subconscious.

You're going to end up being Brandon Walker Big Ten. It happened at the same time. You do look like a Wisconsin basketball player kind of. Yeah, maybe Iowa. Oh, yeah. One of the white schools. Favorite state. Nebraska Tech.

Nebraska Tech. Dude Wipes. Go to dudewipes.com. Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order. I love Dude Wipes. Oh, yeah. It gets your butt right. Sometimes I like to lick them.

Yeah, just for a taste. I use them on my face. I definitely use them on my face. When you're licking the Dude Wipes, it's like water and brushing your teeth. You lick it a little before and lick it a little after. Don't do that. Do get dude wipes. Yeah, I use it for my hands when you need a wet towelette.

The dude showers are also the best. I use the dude showers for that, but I also just use the regulars just to get my face. A little wing action. Dude, have you looked at... I was talking about this on our little bonus episode of Son of the Boy Dad that we did with Sass is Sad Ass at Home. On Patreon? Yeah, on our page. First ever. But have you ever looked at the

organizational chart on Zenefits? It's truly startling. Wait, what? Can we see it? The organizational chart? Can we see it? The organization chart? Can we see it? We need to see it. Oh. Yeah, definitely.

We can at least talk through it. I don't know. That should... I don't think that's... TJ's gatekeeping the fact that he has 18 people under him. Who are you worried about that's not in this room? I don't know. It's like data birds and stuff like that.

A lot of information on that. What? It's like data birds and social security numbers. Oh, that's probably not... What about... Not on the organizational chart. Not if you mispress. If you mispress any information on that. Oh. What? It's like data birds and social security numbers. Oh, that's probably not. What about? Not on the organizational chart. Not if you mispress. If you mispress, you're wrong.

Oh, yeah. All right, so fine. Let me see the, let me look at the organizational chart and I'll decide. Shit is fucking, I didn't even know we had that. Few org chart

at the top of Zenefits right there. Let me see this shit. I didn't know. This is why. TJ CFO. Scroll down. What happened to your fucking phone, brother? It's not a woman.

I fucking broke it three months ago. My lazy ass. Keep me humble. Look at that. You can just click on somebody and you can see everybody that's under them. I'm finding out people's titles. Who do I report to? If you scroll over to the Dave side, I think that you might be on the Dave side.

Why do you have a broken phone? Stop judging me, bro. You don't know what I'm going through, bro. You don't need a broken phone. Get your fucking phone fixed or go get a new phone. He's being humby, bro. Where's the Dave side? Oh, I see.

Go up to the top and then scroll over. It's on the Dave side. See that? We're all under Dave. And there's probably some people who aren't even on there. But there's definitely some people who put their whole self-worth into it. My underbinments. Yeah.

Deeply. Frank Fleming has everyone. Oh, I have two people. Oh. Jake Marshall and Billy. That's accurate, yeah. It's right behind. It's right behind.

Billy is, I'm lost now. Isn't it kind of fun to go through it? It is. Oh, look at this. This person has, like, this person under, like. Um. Shit is interesting. Billy lost another food challenge last night.

It's very funny. I saw him stuffing, stuffing burgies. I'm kind of glad he lost it. Was it 16 McDonald's burgers? That'd kill a man. That's carcinogens. That's worse than smoking eight packs of cigarettes. We should smoke Ziggy's again.

How long does this ass have to do that, all year? I want Billy. Billy's one of those youngins who's talented but doesn't understand. There's a group of people at Barstool that don't understand that when they're not trying to be funny they can be their funniest billy going like full blown i can do this into a food challenge and losing every time is very funny oh yeah like him doing a a nationwide man versus food where food always wins is awesome and And he never really gets that close. I said last night, he's the Washington Generals.

He's just going up against the Harlem Globetrotters every time, and every time he's like, I got this. Here's my strategy. And then every time he just gets his ass kicked and pukes. The series finale has to be at that heart attack restaurant in Vegas, and he just has to die there. He's like, no, I don't want to do this anymore. It's too hard.

He's like, no, that's the funny part. He was talking. He had four cheeseburgers down. He's like, this is easy. And then he got to nine and he started puking. Yeah, it's way different to be in the first quarter of the marathon and be like, yeah, I could run six miles. Oh, this is easy.

Yeah, this shit is not going to be easy. Good for him, though. You need someone with inflated self-worth. Yeah. That's one of the best things about having your boys around. Well, it's also... Someone's like, I could do this, and you're like, no, you fucking can't, dude. Shut up.

It's also an age thing. Like, you lose that, and I miss that. Like, I know now my limitations as a human being. Like, ten years ago, you asked me to do something, like, yeah, I could do that. AV seal training? I could do that. AV seal training? I could do that. The Ninja Warrior course? Like, yeah, I could do that shit.

What? Now I look at the Ninja Warrior course, I'm like, injury, injury, injury. Yeah, that's my shoulder. That's my ankle. Are you looking at the guy with the bleached hair? Yeah, who's that guy?

Cody Rhodes, bro. That's Cody Rhodes. He's in for an interview, my dog. I don't know that. Brought a resume. What is that loose piece of paper that you had? Why would you bring a resume to an interview? They already have the resume for your interview, my dog. You don't know that. Brought a resume. What is that loose piece of paper that you had? Why would you bring a resume to an interview?

They already have the resume if you're interviewing. No, they don't. That's not true. You don't know how many people you're going to be talking to. What do you think that hair choice was? I don't know. It was like an Eminem thing? There's also colors in it.

Fetty Cake. Is that his bag? Yeah, it's fun. I want to eat his head. I had to hit see more four times to find my name. Oh, no. Did you see that new show on Netflix, Is It Cake? I did see that.

Is that based on the Twitter thing? It's literally just cake. Yeah, but it's literally just cake. Yeah, it's hosted by a guy on SNL. Is it all cake? Is it always cake? Can we do Is It Cake episode of the act right now? Can you find... Who is it, TJ? For an object objects that are like a test oh shit yeah is a cake wait who's that there's no like

he's the host of is a cake oh on netflix they said michael chet no he's not same shade cousin is that donnie's brother is it donnie's brother? Is it Donnie's brother? It's right here. Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it definitely is. Oh, I can see that. Spider? That's neat.

Isn't that neat? Is it really? Yeah. Spider interview? What's going on right now? What's good, my G? Let's take a... What are the vibes?

Oh, fuck. You do a good fighter. Because I spend a lot of time with my G. I know, he's a legend. Because his emotional intelligence is off the charts. He has the best emotional intelligence of any of the motherfuckers and people here. He reads a room before you tell him

which one you're going to. Yeah, for sure. He's definitely unfucked his fuck in every other book you could buy at an airport kiosk. Yes. All of that shit

he has in spades. Spider knows the frauds in a row. Oh, my God. At all times. He sniffs them out before he enters the room. He sniffs out frauds

like a truffle pig, like that Nicolas Cage movie that should be winning at Oscar. Oh, round ball. Okay. Here we go. Real or cake?

When it's real, it's not impressive. Can we agree with that? This is cake. But why is it cake? Because fondant is an easy thing to make. That's not. I don't think that's cake. Cake.

This is real. Oh, it's real. That's not. I don't think that's cake. Cake. This is real. Oh, it's real. You're right. The way it's moving, it's definitely real. It's real. I'm two for two. See where the illusion is.

It doesn't affect me either way. I can't eat it. Oh, what? That's cake. We got to do it before the knife goes in. Oh, okay. That's cake. We got to do it before the knife goes in. Oh, okay. That's real.

Is it? Yeah, it's real. Wait, are they going to tell us it's cake? Cake, cake, cake. Cake. Definitely cake. But we got to do it before the knife goes in. Once they start cutting, you can tell.

We should have a pause before. Pause it. Pause. That's cake. That's real. That's they start cutting, you can tell. We should have a pause before. Pause it. Pause. That's cake. That's real. That's real. Fuck, it is real. Wait, that's cake.

Oh, fuck. No. I've been making fun of this show for the last three days and it's awesome. Stop, stop, stop. Cake. I'm going to say it's awesome. Stop, stop, stop. Cake. I don't say it's real.

Cake. Wait, what? I guess it was real? That's cake. Oh, this is real. That's a real cake. That's cake? Oh, it looks like toilet paper.

Okay. I thought it just looked like cake. Wait, did you have a cake last night? Was there a cake brought? It's been pushed off. I'd like some cake. I actually have some cake. You want to grab those in the fridge? I'd do some cake. It's those three

jars in the fridge. Cake eight jars some woman sent it to me it was the easiest sell ever she's like hey my husband listens to your podcast and loves you and i have a bakery can i send you some cake i was like oh yeah she's not trying to kill us she might be i would even get killed by trying to fuck me dude that's a noble way to get fucked or get killed you might have to fuck her shit she might be trying to fuck me, dude. That's a noble way to get fucked or get killed. You might have to fuck her, shit. She might be like, fuck. We'll fuck for cake.

That's not Michael Che. It's Mikey Day. What? I'm going to watch this show tonight. Fuck it. I don't like feigning shock every time. What? Now, that incredibly specific skill

can earn you thousands of dollars. I get to ask the best question ever. Is it cake? It really is the best question ever. I love just walking into places and being like, yo, is that cake? Pointing to

the little baby sitting on the floor. Is that cake right there? Let me just check it out real quick. Baby's crying. Let me cut into this baby real quick and see if it's cake or not. I knew it was cake. Now that would be a show I'd watch. Cake or baby?

Yeah. We just watch live executions, but sometimes it's cake. You don't know if it's going to be cake or we're going to watch someone's head get cut off. Wow. Oh. How many panelists do they need? But wait, guys. Oh, the money But wait, guys. Do we really want to win that money?

Oh, the money's cake. Yeah. Man, I should have watched baking shows before I did this. Oh, boy. Mikey Day. I already had one, so fellas. Wait, are we eating cake or not? Yeah, but the three of you can have it.

You act like you're not eating cake. I already had one. I already had a confetti cake. You say already. Do you mean today? Yes. I'm not going to eat a whole cake. Yes, you are. No, I'm not.

I'm trying to be disciplined with what I put in my mouth. What do you got to fucking do? What's yours? Just hate myself, Les. What's your variety over there? Oreo. And I want... Well, what do you have?

You think the red velvet? No, I put it down right here. Keep it down. I don't want it down right here. Keep it up. I don't want the double chocolate. I don't want the double chocolate. I'd rather have the Oreo. I don't want to hear Brandon with double chocolate in his throat. I want the Oreo.

What's the name of it? Double chocolate Brandon's worse than chicken Brandon. It's called Just Cakes Bake Shop. You didn't bring... Vancouver, I want to say? You didn't bring spoons or forks. He said the whole point of it is it's in a cup. No, you need spoons.

You do 100%. You do body shots of it. It absolutely needs spoons. What's the difference? Yeah. It's portable. Or you could huck it at someone. You just put it in your back pocket.

Always be carrying around some cake. Always got some cake on you with your boys. If you got cargo shorts, you got 12 cakes. So you guys don't even realize that the outside of the thing is cake. Oh, he's got some cake on you with your boys. If you got cargo shorts, you got 12 cakes. So you guys don't even realize that the outside of the thing is cake. Oh, this is cake. Bite into the whole thing. You can eat it like an apple. Yeah, bite into the whole thing.

Dude, there goes Donnie. His brother's interviewing upstairs. He's probably stressing. Dukes. He can't hear me. Oh, he could. Three spoons? Can you get three spoons?

He's going to bring back three lacrosse sticks. Three spoons. Sp you get three spoons? He's going to bring back three lacrosse sticks. Three spoons. Spoons. Three. Spoons. He's giving the fridge. He's a jolly good fellows. Spoons.

How does he not get this? Four spoons. Four. Four spoons. Jesus Christ, he just got it. I love Dogs. Wait, but I don't get he heard the word doogs at the same volume that you were saying spoons. Four doogs.

We need four of you. Dude, I'm only one man. Four doogs. Shit. He goes and clones himself. Oh, I got you. I got you. He just gets four of his lax bros.

Just different forms of doogs. Four doukes. Damn, I actually would rather have my cake than eat it. Always. Yeah, I'd rather just have it around. Hold it. Making my stomach growl. I know I'm going to feel awful after I have it, too.

That sweet sugar rush. I still have Lomo Satatos coming. Yeah. Oh. I am a fat piece of shit. I love it. That looks good. Looks like sand from the beach.

I reiterate, I want yours. I know, and you are not going to get it, friend. Why did he get the Oreo? Why did he get drafted for the Oreo? Why do you have to get everything you want always? You've got to have the Oreo. I've got to have the Oreo. Thank you, Dukes.

All right, I'll have the red velvet. No, no, no. No. Thank you, Dukes. All right, I'll have the red velvet. No, no, no. No. Thank you, Dukes. This is a good spoon. Good looking out, Dukes. This is a solid spoon. Any fun plans this weekend, Dukes?

Oh, nice. Oh, go in Sass's room for me. You guys should sleep in Sass's room. I've been. Hey, don't you actually do that? Are you guys a three-room place now? What if I just slept over? You should.

Oh, it's so good. Did you only want the spoon to play the spoon? I want a bite. I want a bite. We're biting now? There's a cream cheese icing. It's so good. I think you could last 14 minutes in my apartment.

I think that's way too much. I'm such a cake eater. Is there a place to sit? Well, not if someone else is sitting down already. Is there a TV in the place to sit? Yeah. I could last two hours. There we go.

Maybe we'll do a yak. No. Absolutely not. Ron, you're still down to come see the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge, right? Mm-hmm. What? Ron's going to come see the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge. We're going to do a yak now. We're going to rebrand it.

Get some cash. We're going to rebrand it. Give you $600,000. It's going to be the rebrand of Walker's Smoking Lounge. Maybe do a twofer. Just get that and the Twitter handle. No, we're going to get whoever's Twitter handle it is. We're going to trade the Twitter handle for the name of this podcast. I did tell my boy Phil you would be calling one day to negotiate for Brandon Walker. I am going to try to now secure a Brandon Walker Twitter handle.

Your boy's name is Field? What's your boy's name? Phil. Phil. Phil. Phil. We should definitely get a Brandon Walker Twitter account. Now the problem is I have really...

Yeah, now you've opened it up. I fucked myself because now I'm getting DMs from every other variety of Brandon Walker I could possibly ever do saying I'll sell you this account. So now I'm just going to be out of options. Right. Put it away for me. I'm going to hook it. I'm going to hook it. I'm about to hook it. It appears our stream died, by the way.

What? Yep. We don't have internet. So this just isn't going anywhere? Pete! We're friends at the moment. So we could say anything? I guess.

Pete! Pete. Pete. Or we could say nothing. No, no, no. It's still going to be the podcast. Strangely, it does numbies. In a very weird way, this podcast is always on the fucking charts. That is weird.

Oh, yeah. The Wi-Fi is just off. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens. And the face inside of me. What about Brandon Walker live nudes? Live nudes or live news? Nudes.

You want me to get naked? You should have an alt account where you show your beef. I'll get naked. When's the last time you were naked in public? In public? Yeah.

Fully ass naked or just penis out? Ass naked. I'd rather not say. Are we back? Is it recent? No, we have actually no internet in the office. The office is complete.

Can I have... We are still recording, though, so this will be on the Yak YouTube channel, so if you're watching there... It's an exclusive, then. Smash that motherfucker. Yo, exclusive. We're going to give it to you here, where you can't get it anywhere else. Yeah, rare yak never seen before.

What's up, YouTube? Go ahead and smash that like button. What the fuck is up, YouTube? Actually, wait. If you still curse in the first 15 seconds of a YouTube video, does that tank the algorithm? No, it used to. I'm going to tweet it right now. Exclusive. This cake is very,

very good. So good, dude. Fantastic cake. So sweet. What's your guys' favorite type of cake icing? I think it might be this kind, followed closely by grocery store cake icing, followed last by wedding cake icing. I do not care for wedding cake icing, which is also fondant, which is what they use in that fucking cake, that show. No, fondant's not.

That's for prettiness, not for eating-ness. Yeah. That's what I mean. That's what they do to make the sheen of the wedding cake look a certain way. That fucking fondant. I'm going to share this. Share the stream. You've gotten married. Getting married is, the wedding itself is just a parade of expensive things that you just had no use for.

And the wedding cake is ridiculous. I never got to bite it, I don't think. Oh, shit. Why is there a wedding cake? It doesn't really matter. And it's so expensive, which just makes me want to get in the game. I just want to have a photo booth that I can sell to people who want their wedding and just be like, yeah, it's actually $40,000 if you want to use it for the night.

You and I could go buy a cake right now for $15. We can go buy a wedding cake for $2,000 if you want to use it for the night. You and I could go buy a cake right now for $15. We could go buy a wedding cake for $2,000. Yeah, we could buy four different cakes of different sizes and just stack them on top of each other, and it would be the exact same. I didn't even want to make a big show of cutting my wedding cake, so we just cut it while the DJ was playing, and it turns out that they were playing that song,

body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody. People were just twerking in the background as we cut our cake, So we just cut it while the DJ was playing. And it turns out that they were playing that song. Body, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy. People were just twerking in the background as we cut our cake. Which is, to me, a way better memory than picking a fucking Jason Aldean song or some shit like that. I hope you dance. Who sang I Hope You Dance? It wasn't Lee Womack. Lee Ann Womack. Lee Ann Womack.

Abby Womack. It was Abby Womack. She was playing for the USNW team getting underpaid, so she had to start a country career. Leigh-Anne Womack's underrated ass, although that song is overrated. Leigh-Anne rhymes better than Leigh-Anne Womack. Would that be a mix of the Dance Moms and the – Abby Womack is the soccer player.

Oh, yeah, Abby Womack is the soccer player. Who's the one that took her shirt off? That was Brandi Chastain. Brandi Love. Yes, Brandi Love took off her shirt right after a soccer player. Who's the one that took her shirt off? That was Brandi Chastain. Brandi Love. Yes, Brandi Love took off her shirt right after that soccer match. That was sweet. We should do this more often, TJ, because now we'll get people to subscribe to YouTube.

Yeah, we should just kill the power grid or the internet grid of the office. What is actually going on? The internet has no office. I mean, the office has no internet. Also, the internet has no office. I mean, the office has no internet. Also, the internet has no offices. Why has this been happening? I think the server room has been overheating. The door was open of the server room the other day,

and there was air conditioning blasting and a bunch of fans, and I think that shit has been overheating because Pete started yelling at me and Frank for filming a soda review in the room. We also might have spilled soda on some of the servers. I'm not sure, but it was just a little bit of a spill. Just half the two-liter spilled. So I don't know if we could blame ourselves.

He was quite angry. Look at Pete just walking around. Hey, Pete! Willy nilly. Hey, Pete, you fuck face. What do you mean, like this? Explain to the people. I'm in here.

Yeah, we're recording YouTube later Oh Pete you You son of a bitch You son of a bitch Wouldn't happen if Colby Was still here I miss Colby I do too

Colby's never gonna hear this We should show up to Colby's We should show up to To the hospital When Colby gives birth Yeah The whole yak crew We're here to the hospital when Kobe gives birth. Yeah. The whole yak crew.

We're here to see the baby. We'd like to make sure it's not cake. We show up to the hospital with a bunch of really sharp knives. Is this circumcision? Like, no, we want to see if he's cake. We want to double check this baby's not caked. Oh, we're bakers. I have to cut every baby. Dude, the security at a hospital when you have a baby is insane.

What do you mean? They put bracelets on you and the baby, and if the baby crosses a threshold like all the alarms go off and the whole hospital shuts down no way yeah but when you have the your first baby the the security still isn't enough in your mind right but it's like understanding they basically were like everything will shut down all the doors will lock I requested that my baby be armed. And then how many days until they're just like, all right, it's yours. Figure it out. A day and a half, two days.

We had to do, when my daughter was born, she was premature, but not by a lot. And she had to do a car seat test. They put the baby in a car seat, and they check the oxygen levels, and if they dip at any point in like an hour, like hers were fine for like 90 seconds they dipped, so we had to stay an extra day. Why? Because of like the angle of the body or the blood rushes? Their lungs aren't developed enough.

It's any baby born more than four weeks premature. She was like literally on the – she was like 29 days. So she would have said she can't float on her back at that time. Correct. And she might have been cake. She was as good as cake

at that point because she really didn't have any abilities. Babies start off as cake before they become fully formed humans. That's why they put them in the preemie tank

to get an incubator. Wouldn't that be great if like all the anti-abortion people are just cake lovers? Stop fucking taking our cake. We want our cake. First trimester, it's cake. Second trimester, it's ice cream cake. It will melt.

Oh my god. Fuck, ice cream cake is so good. Oh, I have one. I think when chili. Fuck, ice cream cake is so good. Oh, I have one. I think when chili season ends, ice cream cake season begins. And I don't think you can really have ice cream cake in the winter. I love eating chili and ice cream cake combined. Poor asshole. Your asshole must be going through it.

That's such a terrible combination. It's probably like a Gatling gun. That's probably fucking firing off. I go scoop for scoop. I will take it. I use ice cream to take the sour cream. Yeah, exactly. I might be good, honestly.

No, yeah, you're right, though. You're absolutely right. Chili. At the same time. Yeah. I think we're right at the cusp. Yeah, we're right at the line. Yeah, I think chili season's over.

I had some yesterday. No, I don't think it is. I think we're going to have a renaissance next week. If you look, it's going to be 35 degrees here Monday. That'd be a perfect chili day. Why has it been sneaking in your last chilies for weeks? I've been trying to get under the threshold. I think you can get at least one more chili in.

Yeah, I think that was my last one. I bought some chorizo from Whole Foods the other day because I want to try some chorizo in my chili. That'll be awesome. And I'm waiting for that cold day. I'm too fat for nice weather. It's a real problem. Short sleeve season comes around.

That's why I'm trying to fucking not eat entire cups of cake at a time before my Lomo Saltado comes in. Are you trying to work out? I'm just walking uphill on a fucking treadmill for 20 minutes a day. I have a Peloton treadmill in my building and I just do the 20 minute

hike. Yeah, it's probably awesome. How fast does that go for you? Two and a half? Three miles? No, I'm at like 4.5 on like an 8 incline. You're sprinting. You get a nice sweat. I know, that's

fucking fast. I'm at like three something. There's a special place in hell for people who use Peloton. And I know they're just running on like a hike just so they can be first. Oh, that's bullshit. Because I'll walk the hike and I'll do it usually at the upper threshold of the thing. And I'll still have like 2,000 people in front of me. Yeah.

Most people are cheating. We're back live. We're back live. We're talking about who's cheating on fucking Peloton. And we also had a funny bit about going to the hospital to check to see if Colby's baby is cake or not. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And you got to subscribe to the YouTube. It's all there. It's all there. It's all there. Subscribe to the Yak YouTube. The whole episode will be posted later. We just kept right on going when Pete fucked up. It was good. It was good. We might be better over there.

We might sound better over there. If you're listening over here, I honestly think that it'll be rose-colored glasses if you go over there. Everything's gonna look a little brighter for you. Basically, season six renaissance over there. Yo, it was some season six shit, bro. We were back in our fucking prime form. See how many people we lost?

There's like four people watching now. Love people watching. I bet people are taking it well. Where's our Lomos? Oh, we still got 3,000 people. Those are the people who just... They don't even watch. They just have it on in the background.

It's just us. It's our little click farm that we have in the back to get the numbies up. Just go... Subscribe to the Yak YouTube, though, because we will post the whole show. You think KB's mom is... Subscribe to YouTubes in general.

It's very easy. It's very easy. You can't have too many of them. No. It doesn't clog your experience on YouTube. Mm-mm. You still get what you want out of YouTube. Let them eat cake.

Is that Marie Antoinette? Let them drive electric vehicles. Gas price is too high. Marie Antoinette. Is that us? Just drive the Rivian. Is that us? I think that's us.

You know who fucked us yesterday? That first delivery driver who came in and said Duke. I know. That guy was a piece of shit. I know. Busting his ass trying to better his family. Is that us? You want to see if that's us? Almost has to be us. There's nobody else in the office.

Dude, I can't wait until July so we can get them firecracker popsicles. Oh! You know what I'm talking about so we can get them firecracker popsicles. Oh. You know what I'm talking about? Can't get them anytime but July. I like how you say it. It makes me feel good at home.

It feels like at home. You are mocking me. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. 50% of anger. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Got too fast. He's got some cake mouth.

Got too fast. You got a cake lisp. I'm not mocking you. I'm saying it to make you feel at home. You have a lisp? No, I just eat too much cake. I'm just always eating cake. Oh, this is the best kind one. Yes, it is. Only for my

boys. Yes, Lomos. If you're eating along with us, it's time to crack open your Lomos. Should we cut the mics and eat? If you've eaten a Lomos Saltado, if you've bought one for yourself, if you've cooked one when we said we were going to order Yeah, should we cut the mics and eat? If you've eaten a Lomos Saltado, if you've bought one for yourself, if you've cooked one when we say we were going to order. If we do cut the mics,

Big Cat's probably going to convince me to fake attack somebody. Please don't fill my DMs with hate. That never happened before. They were hating on you? Dana looks great today. Dana's flowing. Dana! I'm thinking we're getting right around the weather.

Maybe we put a funnel up our butt. On a balcony. What about season? At the Earthsea. Let everybody see everything the light touches. I want to see that guy have beer up his butt. Oh, don't come get your victory lap. Pete, what happened?

Did the server, tell people what happened. Did the server room overheat? Yeah, can you explain to us why the internet sucks here? Also, can you tell Pete to turn the GoPro back on? Can you turn the GoPro back on? Turn the GoPro back on, please, Pete. Pete, can you explain to us why the internet sucks here? Also, can you tell Pete to turn the GoPro back on? Can you turn the GoPro back on? Turn the GoPro back on, please, Pete. Pete, can you turn the GoPro back on? Pete, Pete, Pete.

Why is Pete no-selling us? Pete! He's such a POS piece of shit. I hate him so much. Such a point-of-sale system. He came over to me today and he tried to talk like we were, like, friends, and I...

Talk about his lake house or some shit. Explain his hobbies. I told him I'd literally murder his whole family. I've never seen him light up except yesterday. Somebody was trying to explain the benefits of a sector meeting to me. And he walked by at that moment. And the guy said, Pete, Pete got one. Let him tell you.

And he lit up and really went into it. Says the best thing that ever happened to me. Can you turn on the GoPro? Jesus Christ, Pete. What do we have to beg? We need the GoPro turned on. We need a tall boy. We need four strong boys from our class. We want to check out that ass.

Oh my god. Look at those Levi's. What are those? 503s? Everybody's dad's jeans. Get those in 2005? Look at that hue. They don't even make that hue anymore. They don't.

They do not make that color and those cuts anymore. Yeah, no, no, they don't. Were you at L-Train Vintage? Those look like jeans that were like, oh, whoa, pick up your pants, pal. Have you lost a lot of weight in the last week? Are you stressing or are you fucking doing side bends and sit-ups? Like those are jeans that come out of a cartoon. They don't make those.

They're like, watch little Pete with his new blue jeans. They're Michael Jordan jeans. Yeah. No, those have ceased to exist. Those are the jeans that like when the Berlin Wall came came down all of Russia wanted to get those jeans and they're the gold rush. Yeah That's what you're wearing those wrangler jeans So so what did we actually spill on the servers when we shot that soda review in there? Do you think that's what did it?

Is that the straw that broke? Are you serious? Was it sticky? Were there sticky surfaces? Rowan said that it was overheating. What was that movie? While knowing that you might have called. It was overheating, so we tried to cool it off with some sweet orange soda.

I got to shuffle into the room? Some diet Sunkist. Oh, can we play that Frank sound from last night real quick? All-time Frank sound. I've never heard anything like that. Did you hear this, Rowan? Oh, yeah. It sounded like a ba-dee-ba-dee-ba-dee.

That's all, folks. We're just eating Lomos. The quality of meat is incredible. It's just a terrific meal. Scallions, look at the scallions. So happy we spun it. I fucking love scallions. What the hell?

Honeycomb. What the hell? Honeycomb. What was he just kept going? He went full Don Vito. Never go full Don Vito. Looking at that putt. Where were you yesterday, Zaha? That was last week, Myrtle Beach. We'll be in Tampa on Monday, so can't wait to see people there.

Wait, you're going to Tampa on Monday, so can't wait to see people there. Wait, you're going to Tampa on Monday? Yes, sir. Barstool Classic, second stop. Classic season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The weather looks great. It's going to be a great, great day. Clear skies.

If you've never been to a ball, you shine at the Barstool Classic. That's your event. Yes, it really is. They call me the ambassador of the Barstool Classic. No one does it better than I do. You're there early. Sponsored beverage in hand. Yeah, no, it's a fun time, though.

Schmoozing with the boys. The boys love to schmooze with you at a golf event. Yeah, and the white boys love ripping them, doing the shotguns and the shots and all that. Yes, dude, hell yeah. Yo, come rip a ball, bro. Yeah. That's a good time, though. That's incredible.

You got to get out to the Barstool Classic. Chill with Zah. Say what's up to our boy Riggs. Say what's up to Frankie. No, don't say hi to Frankie. Frankie's mean ass. Won't say hi back. Frankie fat right now or skinny?

Fat. Even with the wedding coming up? Oh, yeah, I forgot he's getting married soon. Yeah, he needs to start walking uphill. Or else posterity is going to remember him roundly. I'd like to find a way to make his cake not cake. Yeah, serve him up a baby. Sir, steel beans.

Yeah, just four steel drums on top of each other. Covered with frosting. In lieu of cake, we'll have steel. He's probably going to be getting some good mange at his wedding. Oh, shit, this is a baby. Long Island, they do weddings

right out there. Probably like 15 macaroni stations or some shit. Tell me about it, Owen. You've been to a wedding on Long Island. Yeah do weddings right out there. Probably like 15 macaroni stations or some shit. Tell me about it, Owen. You've been to a wedding on Long Island. Yeah, if it's Italian, it's very good. Lots of food, probably a lot of fish. Seafood station. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's Indian. Mountains of fresh seafood. If it's Indian, probably gross. You can't say that. I love, what do we eat? I don't personally like it. The lube jamun. Yeah. And you don't like it because you haven't had enough. That's, what do we eat? I don't personally like it. The lube jamun.

Yeah. And you don't like it because you haven't had enough. That's a fact. Yeah, it is. I have to have it more. I don't want it at a wedding. I got to build my palate up. I'll start with.

What about an Indian wedding? Actually, Indian people can cook incredible vegetarian food. That's a fact. It tastes like meat. It'll be the sauce in the same way, all mixed in. I like Indian food. My dad had a postdoc named Ravi, an Indian dude, and he gave me a sextant when I was 10 years old. What?

A sextant. Explain any of those words. Ravi is an Indian dude's name. He was a postdoc who worked for, he was like a postdoctoral student. Okay. Worked with my dad and he brought us over to his house.

We had a traditional Indian dinner and he gave me a sextant, which is like a seafaring instrument. You like take it and you can like, I think fucking Magellan

used it to like tell which direction he was going. Summon the waves. Now who prepared the traditional Indian dinner? Ravi's mom Oh she fucking And I didn't even know it was vegetarian

We all sat around a low table and they had like an 80 inch TV It was like a 96 They didn't even make 80 inch TVs like that Fly ass Indian family I was just trying to give you boys an anecdote So you could munch on the saltado Talk sextants a little bit Yeah let's end the show because we're doing the thing where we're eating the mics and i i

think people don't like that yeah they might uh resent us for that for all time go watch the hidden tapes the 10 minutes when we're off got to personal yak youtube channel go subscribe that's that's a certain amount of subscribers we'll do a certain for sure. I think the whole squad's back on Monday. Yes, sir. Minus Sad Boy Sass. Could be back. Could be back. I think probably back. We could have the whole squad. First time in a long ass time. Might have to hoop.

Yeah, we might have to hoop. Alright, everyone have a good weekend. See you then. We can see them. Make sure you guys sub to that Yak YouTube. You don't want to miss what we did off air. It was crazy.