The Yak - We React to the Greatest Video in Show History | The Yak 10-24-23

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Baby Beav FTW!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. I don't think we have to clap anymore. Oh, that was a little bit. Yeah. No, we're good. That was, the clapping was because in the limbo season, we were held hostage.

Why were we clapping then? Because it's like, oh, we're okay. Okay. Yeah. Hey, we're exactly where we want to be we're no more clapping no more clapping i don't think well how do we welcome them to the show just talk uh welcome to the show yeah we say uh uh go to roback.com promo code yak 20 off your first purchase roback.com it's q-zip weather q-zips oh well not today tomorrow no it's hot today today i'm afraid might be the last nice day.

This always happens in Chicago fall where you have one last, goes out with a bang. A super nice day. This is like 75 degrees. It's beautiful. So, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing the joggers right now. Promo code YAK. Do it right now, 20% off your first purchase.

They are the most comfortable clothes in the world. So, day two. New studio. Yesterday was incredible. Fun. Felt right. It smelled so bad. So bad.

I left and then came back in and walking back in, I had no idea. It was like a frog in a boiling pot. Yeah. I knew it smelled bad, but I didn't realize it until I left for like 10 minutes. It was like a frog in a boiling pot. It was a frog in a boiling pot. A smell we all know very well. It ruined the rest of my day.

No, I didn't mean the smell. That's a metaphor that's known. A frog in a boiling pot? Right? No. Who knows that metaphor? Were you raised by witches? Were you raised by French witches?

I'm not the crazy one here. You turn up the heat slowly, and then you could fucking boil. Maybe it's not a frog. Do you have a cauldron at your house? Are you guys being stupid? Is this like a— All right, we're hazing the new guy. We don't have a frog in a boiling pot.

Titus got us. We actually said— What the fuck? This is like Shakespeare. My bad for being smart, everybody. Before the show, we actually had a meeting without you, Titus, and we're like, if he brings up the frog in the boiling pot, we've got to pretend we don't know.

But, yeah, we're like if he brings up the frog in the boiling pot we gotta pretend we don't know uh but yeah we're here uh i wish we could show the the the what's behind us the basketball court we will in due time but what i just witnessed was um something that is going to probably bother me a lot in the next 10 years of my life steven che was running suicides before the act no no he wasn't he was running suicides he was not you. Stephen Che was running suicides before the act. No, no, he wasn't. He was running suicides. He was not. You're lying. He was running suicides. I looked out and he gave me a 10X. Yeah.

Can we play hacky sack on the court? I don't know. I don't think so. We don't have room right now. I think it's actually illegal that Stephen ran suicides. Che, say your purpose. What's wrong with that? I'm getting some exercise before I'm about to sit down for a little bit.

First of all, we're not supposed to be The last thing I want to do is be sweaty and out of breath. We're not supposed to step on the court yet. We're not supposed to step on it? That's why there's, like, paper out. I didn't step on the paper. Right! Right! Oh my word. That's where you're supposed to step.

Holy fuck. Alright, so we're not supposed to do that? I don't think so. I might just give you special permission because you look like... No, Che's allowed to do suicides, but he has to do it for a certain amount of time. I think he should be doing them now if he's going to do them every day. Stephen Che's a special boy. He looks extra special running suicides by himself.

I would actually enjoy seeing that now. I know. We can't show it. We can describe it. We can describe it. You want to do one? Yeah, go ahead. Do one?

Do a couple. Do it until failure. This is something in two weeks. Everyone have patience. I appreciate everyone's patience. In two weeks' time, we will be able to do stuff like this where we're like, Stephen, run run a suicide and then we just have a camera that goes to him looking

like. I haven't spoken suicide cam lively. We should just call it suicide cam. Shay just stroked Hank. What do you mean? Shay just stroked. He walked by Hank and just stroked his sweater.

He's got like a fuzzy sweater on. He's on weird shit Steven. Him Hank and just stroked his sweater. He's got like a fuzzy sweater on. You're on your shit, Steven. Him saying, I didn't step on the paper. That was insane. Which is the thing that's put down to step on. Are these doors, by the way? Yes. Yes, he's open.

Cool. Yes. So we have like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. To describe it to people, we have like, it's basically like garage doors or like sliding doors. We can open so we can basically be on the court while we're doing the yak. Pretty perfect.

Yeah, it's sick. And we have like a little waiting room too for like toys to wait. Oh, man, he's running his suicides. There he goes. Is there a free throw line? That was a ginger step. Oh, my God. Well, that's...

Is that rice? Soy ginger. Okay. He's running his suicides. He's talking to him. This is PFT's first time coming to the office. He's going... Does he know what a suicide is?

He's going too far. Why is he taking his pants off? He was just doing that? He was doing that by himself. No one was watching. No one was partaking. It was ridiculous. Oh, we didn't time him.

We should have timed him. Yeah, we didn't. Have him do it again. We'll have to time the next one. And then he has to do a second one to see if he beats the first time. Last time I saw Asian suicides, the USS Arizona blew up. Was it Logan or Jake Paul? Ohul oh yeah there was logan paul also side for it this is what logan paul saw can we not edit like him in that his toy story hat and the camera flips and his chair on it on the court that was really the craziest story ever of just being like well i

thought it was a bad idea to do a video in a suicide forest. No, he probably thought it would just be a bunch of dudes at the gym. Yeah. Good job, Steven. How'd it feel? Good time.

Great. Steven's got a little pep in his step because he basketballs back. Yep. So he's got his little trust of data after being the worst football gambler of all time. Is that why he wears exclusively purple now? Yeah, he's branded. He thinks he's got his little trust of data after being the worst football gambler of all time. Is that why he wears exclusively purple now?

Yeah, he's branded. He thinks he's the king. Purple's my favorite color. Okay. You okay? You out of breath? Yeah. A little gassed.

I'm out of shape. So I got to do that a lot more. I'll start doing it with you, Che. I need to get in shape. I've been getting winded lately. From what? Moving. Yeah. Hacky sack. I've been getting winded lately. From what? Moving. Yeah.

Hacky sack. Yeah. Takes it out of me. Hacky sack is a very full contact sport. Since we moved to the new office, you haven't sacked with us. Yeah, what's that? You're not sacking with the boys anymore? I'll sack with the boys.

Okay. I have not felt good about my hacky sack skills. I mean, we have M Mook and he's terrible yeah that's true Rudy's worse, Rudy's a good hacky sacker but then of course he has flared everything like everything Rudy can't be bothered to care about anything

he's just like I'm too cool for all of this Rudy I just want to grab him and say it's okay to care about it just care about one thing I'm out there putting my body on the line every day. You are. Every time you raise your foot, you almost fall. Your body doesn't know how to handle it.

Who's the guy that hits dingers that TJ brought in on Friday? John Stamos. Yeah, Johnny Stamos. He takes one step forward and it looks like he's going to fall. We got to get Johnny Stamos in here. Well, we got to bring them all in. Yeah. I mean, this office is big enough for that guy that won last time.

We haven't heard from our fellow winner, have we? Yeah, we haven't heard from Herak either, which is very weird. I think we invite them all in, tell them to meet at the court, but then we just say the instructions are that someone will be with you soon. And then we just all sit right here and someone will be with you soon, and then we just all sit right here and just watch them. Watch them behave. Dinner for schmucks.

We should open up a man zoo. Go watch man. Just sit there and watch them. Kate, how was... That was a good baby shower. It was wonderful. I should have gotten you something. No, oh my god, that was so nice. It was wonderful. I should have gotten you something. No.

Oh, my God. That was so nice. It was very impromptu. I've been seeing items online for a while, and it wasn't expensive or anything. It was fun to do a draft. We hadn't done a draft in a while. We should make that monthly. Yeah.

My stomach hurt. Yeah. I was up at 4 a.m., like the fire of the gods, and I was like, what could this be from? But I knew. Yeah, you're yeast. Yeah.m., like the fire of the gods, and I was like, what could this be from? But I knew. Yeah, your yeast. You two had the oysters. Yeah. You two had the worst day.

I feel like we all did. And our eyes, like a lot of us, our eyes were burning, even when we left the building. Mine hit about 20 minutes after the onions got to me. Yeah, for me it was like a frog in a boiling pot. That is something people say. they slowly crank it up. TJ said that he has something for us. He said he's got something big.

A big surprise. TJ's got something big for us? Yeah. Remember the Japan World Cup videos? Yes. There's a new one. What? A brand new one?

A brand new one. Wait, the horse racing thing? Yeah. There's a new one. What? A brand new one? A brand new one. Wait, the horse racing thing? Yeah. It's a good one. So for those that don't know, Japan World Cup is like a DVD that gets sold in Japan. They bet on these virtual horses. The horses do zany crazy kooky things. We have a new cast of characters,

TJ. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Interesting. Do we all get one? Yeah, do you want to run it now? Yes. Yeah. It's a big surprise.

You can't just tell us. Loser has to run a suicide? No. Winner has to run a suicide? Also no. Yak World Cup? What? Oh, no way. Someone made this for us?

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome. Oh, my God. What a fine day it is for some horse racing. 74 degrees and sunshine, and the stands are packed to the brim with fans ready to cheer on their favorite horses. Now, of course, when we do say horses, we mean that very loosely. There's a wide variety of animals in today's event, along with a wide variety of jobs. So without further ado, let's meet our competitors in today's events along with a wide variety of John has without further ado. Let's meet our competitors in today's race Coming in first is none other than Katie no swag

One spot in the juice you this TJ tell us controversial parents How did you do this? How did you do this, TJ? Tell us! Parents never watched her as a kid. This is incredible! I like course B. Course B. What's my long hat? What? What?

Wait, is it on escape? Yes, it is. This is insane. Turn it on a ski? Yes, it is. This is insane. Turn it up a little. The drift is real. Now, this is an interesting one. Coming behind Rome is not going to be easy. This is the giant emperor of pain.

This is the only jockey on the two-legged animal. Can I do anything straightly? I'm asking once. Live and well at today's event. This is the only job Our participants starting off with Brandon fucking Walker who was nowhere to be seen until about five minutes ago when our camera crew Found him laying face down in a bush to avoid the sunlight Next up is low Sasquatch in the sixth spot He slept for 19 hours There that was awesome. Yeah, he's ready to get after in this one after sass comes the one the only Ambulance not to his revolutionary idea to combine a fire truck and an ambulance

but can it save him from defeat in this battle on the tracks today we'll have to wait and see but before we do we have to get to the eight spot last but certainly not least it is stephen shea now typically something catastrophic always happens to the eighth entry in these races but sure surely's wrong with the side is perfect football operations at Marsville sparks and our graphics properties shout out that why Nick's gonna win I don't think so I think it's a no thanks every time again we now turn you over to our starting ceremony Oh, my God. This is insane. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I haven't here or else he could get passed by Stephen He could come back in the front of the pack. He now sits in first place. AD not too far behind him. He's still in second. Sass has overtaken some people to move him to the third spot. Sass is low. Sass is low. He's about to fall. Oh, nice.

Surfing on a belly sliding. Where am I? Where am I? Oh, no! Oh, nice! Oh, nice! Surfing on a belly sliding paper. Where am I? Here, folks. Where am I? Where is it? Where am I? Oh, no! It's still a play!

Oh! He gets derailed. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! The unicorn is about to give birth Oh my goodness, the baby beef wins it in a photo finish. Must be the baby beef. Yeah, I'm the winner. There's your beef.

Your baby. Baby beef. That was incredible. I can't get up. I would have guessed a dev team would take like a year to make that. Yeah. We also know what a dev team came up to me like months ago. And they were like

holy can we make this how hard is it to remake it yeah I don't know they've been working on that for actual months I want a new one

once a week yeah I was gonna say I want one on Fridays we should do it and winner like somehow

Will Sparks have to come up with a random way I guess a wheel and winner gets a hundred bucks every Friday yeah we gotta put him to work yeah really make him also is that his real name will sparks will sparks yeah that's sick huge fuck up by him to uh highlight how good he is at his job oh yeah it's like the best thing i've ever seen now we want more that was so we want so much

harder buddy to take his own initiative to do something? We're going to have to sell like a 20-episode run of that somehow. Yeah. Will Sparks. What a great name. Can I put a face to that name? Is he around? Yeah, let me see a picture of Will Sparks.

Show me Will Sparks. Just show me the first Google image. Will Sparks. We got to do something for him. I know. Baby shower? We should throw him a baby shower you're right and we'll have a draft that benefits him in no way whatsoever yeah oh no it would actually hurt him yeah yeah here's some alcohol and oyster residue well somebody did point out yesterday that we me and big cat were big man and we weren't me and you

were doing it together right we didn't let her do the oysters. Correct. But we did have her go after everybody who had oysters and alcohol. Yeah. The burn was real. Did anyone else who went after it at the end? That's an interesting thought.

So you did ingest some booze. I did. Yeah, whoops. Some booze and oysters. But like Kate said, she's so far down the line in pregnancy. What could happen? I could do cocaine now.

Yeah. Nikki smokes. How are you feeling physically? Probably terrible. Can't be good. Terrible. The last couple days, I felt the best I've felt in four months. Is this our guy?

Oh, you're on a second wind. This is our guy, Will Sparks? Yeah, he works for us. I feel like I've never seen his face. He doesn't have long hair or a mustache. No, maybe he has a mustache, but he doesn't have long hair anymore. But this is our guy. He's a husky? This guy is the coolest guy ever.

He's a beast. He was a baseball player? His name's Will Sparks? That was a good mustache, too. That's a good Barstool Cush name. Yeah. Will's coming for Barstool Cush, by the way. Yeah, no, Kate, so you're feeling terrible? Pretty bad.

Pretty bad. I'm just like, I'm just over it. Are you doing an inducement or no? I think they're going to make me now. Okay, good. Yeah. I think every guy in this room, if we were at the point of the pregnancy you are, we would be staying home. Uh-huh.

I would have taken advantage of this a long time ago. But then you get, like, you're sitting there and you're like, this helps me keep my mind off. What's about to happen? Yeah, but we gotta see it. I know, that's true. That's very true. It's coming out. Also, I brought my pizza rolls in for Nicky Smokes today. Oh, you cursed the Phillies. Because I cursed the Phillies and I got paranoid after

last night and I said I better bring them in. Wait, how'd you curse the Phillies? I promised that I would show up to his party with pizza rolls like a mom at like 11 o'clock. Like, boys, your pizza rolls are ready. But then I blew my back. I'm a back blown out at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Couldn't make it.

Couldn't make it. Walked a little too far that day. Said no. I think we have a miscommunication here. And then. No, her back up. Yeah. And then. You know, her backup. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

My mind is racing. What is she not being clear about? Yeah. Okay. Have you ever seen the line exhibit there? Yeah. They'll blow anyone's back out. That's true. That's true.

So I brought him in today, though. Yesterday made me nervous. So I thought I should. Today. Yeah. Yeah. It's a big game. Max is already. He's dressed max is already he's dressed like

a he's dressed like super mario he looks bad you can tell he's on edge too oh he's on big time edge he's everything comes down to tonight for him do you care about the phillies move yes yeah mook will be here for the stream as well um same with connor griffin is it in this gambling cave it's in this gambling cave i think it's going to be con Connor Griffin, Mook, and Max in the front row, me, PFT, and Jerry in the back row, which I'm sure we won't troll you guys. Yeah, this is Max today. He has so – I don't think anyone's ever had more at stake because we are also debuting the new part of my take studio tonight.

So the very first memory of everyone's like you know the new studio could be him sitting in that ridiculous overall get up on the couch as sad as possible also you guys are probably gonna get uh ratings boost from the new studio you're already a massive show but it's gonna get people want to see even more lottery ball machine yeah a lot of eyeballs on max tonight yeah max is fired up he gave me a dab as soon as I walked in. Nice little handshake, and my back cracked. It was so hard. Wow.

He blew your back out. He blew my back out. He blew your back out. Now, here's the thing, though. The last time Max wore ridiculous pants, what happened? Oh, man. It's going to be bad. Eagles lost the Super Bowl.

Yeah. We're fine. We're fine. They're about to do it again this year to the Chiefs. Lose the Super Bowl? Yeah. You think so? Again? Did you have a bet last night? Yeah, lost them all and had fun though.

The losses make the wins way more sweet. We text Kyle. I disagree. I don't know. And we were like, did you win? And he said, no, I love this shit. I got to watch. And we were like, did you win? And he said, no, I love this shit. And I got to watch. I mean, come on.

Yeah. Does Kirk Cousins even occasionally play like that? Not in primetime games. He was perfect. That was actually Joe Buck at the end. That was kind of mean of him. He was like, and he plays a great game. And the Vikings win in primetime games, taking his record to three and 12 in primetime games.

He's usually terrible. He only beats the Bears in primetime. He's a good quarterback, but he's just great game. He's more of a they call him the new nightmare. Oh, man. So when his game started noon, he's awesome. Okay. KB, have you dabbled with futures yet?

No, but I would love to do that right now. Yeah. Okay. It's exhilarating. Yeah. And then if you lose, you can just blame Max, which is the best part. Like he will get all the blame. Is that what you plan to do?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm actually going to, I haven't even told him. I'm going to put a future on Villanova too. Ooh. He loves Villanova basketball. You love betting on Villanova basketball. Well, I love betting on Max's favorite team.

So if they get to the end and lose, I can blame him. Which is the perfect spot we're in tonight because I have a big future on the Phillies. So if they lose, it's all his fault. It's a win-win. Except I always lose. Is there any rival in the game but like is jersey jerry going for no okay we'll just troll them okay i'm rooting for the phillies good yeah everyone should yeah no i am and by the way tomorrow night uh mook and i are doing a comedy show oh yeah so

if you're in the chicago area please come out. The first show sold out. Still tickets for the late show. It's in Wrigleyville. And the plan is once a month we'll do a Barstool-hosted comedy show at the Laugh Factory. Mook and Chicago Comics coming out. And I'm going to host tomorrow night. I think maybe Nick will host the next one. So we'll just rotate, and it's going to be good. We have Nick in November. I think it's going to be good. We have Nick in November.

I think it's going to be the 29th or 30th. Oh, perfect. We'll announce that soon. Yeah. So please support it. It's going to be very fun. And it's going to be like you're going to talk to the comics after they're set, do a little interview style thing. Yeah.

And I'm going to host. Perfect. Why don't you give us a little preview? Say something funny, Luke. Yeah, funny man. You're funny, man. Crap one off. Give us a little preview? Say something funny, Luke. Yeah, funny man. You're a funny guy. Funny man. Give us a little taste. I got nothing.

I got nothing. I'm doing a set tonight at the Soho House. Yeah. Before the Phillies game. And I think I'm going to bomb, for sure. You better not bomb tomorrow night. That's high society. Probably bomb tomorrow night, too.

A ritzy club? You pay for a membership, and they're all around the country. Yeah. They're paying like. In front of all the pretentious fucks, you're just going to try to make them laugh tonight? Wow. Going to do my best. All right.

You're their manzu. They're there. Yeah. Right. They looked up fellows last month. They're like, look at this cummy guy. Look at this one. Yeah.

I'm their jester. Yeah. For the evening. TJ, I'll send cummy guy. Look at this one. Yeah, I'm their jester for the evening. TJ, I'll send you the link and you can pin it. But yeah, this is going to be cool because I told Mook, you know, when he was deciding whether to move or not, I was like, look, we'll do a comedy show once a month and hopefully, you know, everyone, Nick, maybe we'll start doing stand-up again. Yeah. But yeah, it's going to be awesome.

I want the boys to be able to live their wildest dreams. Brandon, would you host one? Brandon, you'd be a good host. Yeah, I would host one. Hell yeah. You actually would be a great host. No, I know. I also think you'd be a good prop comic too.

Yeah, no, you'd be a great host. You should smash a watermelon. Yeah. Y'all always want me to do Gallagher. Yeah, every time. I know I always have to do Gallagher. Yeah, every time. Why do I always have to be Gallagher? That would sell out in a second if we had Brandon smashing watermelons in between every set. That would be amazing, Brandon.

Oh, my God. Let's add it tomorrow. I mean, it's a good idea. It is a good idea. That's fine. Yeah, do you want to try it tomorrow? No, I can't make it tomorrow. Okay.

I got a date. A date? I'm going to tweet this right now. It just sounded like a good excuse to not come. Okay. I saw Gallagher once. How was he? Pretty bad.

It was pretty bad. Is he dead or is he alive? He's dead. I think he just died. He sold his act to a lookalike. What? Or it was his brother or somebody. He did.

So it wasn't really Gallagher, but it was Gallagher. And I sat in the second row with a raincoat on. And he just took a tennis racket and hit food at us for an hour. I like that. How much did he sell his act for? This was in college, and I was like, of my college friends, I'm like, who wants to go? And they're like, we're going to go party.

Didn't they call it something like, it was like, like Gallagher or Gallagher. It wasn't called Gallagher. It was called like Salute to Gallagher. I don't know what it was called. The guy like looked like him in everything. I like thought it was his brother or something. It was his brother.

Oh, his brother. I'm trying to look that up. Sold it back to his brother. Smashing impersonation. The brothers Gallagher share a name and an act. The question is, isn't one Gallagher enough? That was mean. Oh my God.

If he walks like a Gallagher, talks like a Gallagher, and smashes overripe watermelons with a 16-pound wooden mouth like a Gallagher, is he a Gallagher? It should have been Gallagher T-O-O. Can we watch Gallagher smash something? I don't think I've ever seen. I know him, but... You've never seen it? I'm going through the motions here, too.

I just know he smashes. I don't know who he is. It sounds like you guys all know... It is funny. That's pretty much all there is to know. You've never seen the Gallagher special? Sounds like you know he smashes. I don't know who he is. Sounds like you guys all know. It is funny. That's pretty much all there is to know. You've never seen the Gallagher special? No. I don't remember any jokes and I don't remember like... He did jokes. If you know that he smashes watermelons, you know

Gallagher. That's all there is to know. This show is probably heavily inspired. Does he do sounds? He does all kinds. Look how big that couch is. Oh yeah, we were all delighted. Wait, so is he for children? No. I did not come here tonight to make you laugh.

I came here to sell you something. I want you to pay particular attention. Because the amazing master tool corporation, a subsidiary of Fly By Night Industries, has entrusted who? Me. To show you the handiest and the dandiest kitchen tool you've ever seen. And don't you want to know how it works?

Yes! Well, first, you get out an ordinary apple or two. You place the apple between. Then what do you do? You reach for the jewel, but it's not a slicer, it's not a dicer, it's not a chopper and a hopper. What in the hell could it possibly be? Oh, shit. Oh!

I think this is... I get it. Oh, here we go. I get it. This is... Oh, again. I think... Oh, he's going to build up. Oh, wow. Look at this. Yeah, we had a little input. Oh!

Wait, where's... This is for children, I feel like. There's crayons. Where are the children? I don't know. This is the set of, set of a children's show. That's what I'm saying. What decade is this?

What is that? Pound cake? Pound cake. I guess it does. These foods are exploding in weird ways. I don't think a bread would do that. You want that cheeseburger to go? You think you would have bigger foods. You want that cheeseburger to go? Oh, you think he would have bigger foods.

Wait, that thing is awesome. Yeah. I get this. Can we get Gallagher to really fuck up the studio? I like that he gets the last damn toothpaste. Oh, toothpaste. No way. Oh, no way.

The toothpaste. He's going to actually give you cancer. Oh, no way. The two things. Oh, he fucking... They're dying. Oh, they're dying. Oh, no. A fist? Oh, no. Did he actually do it?

Oh, wait. Oh, that was amazing. Oh, it was a fake dude. It's just like a party. Perfect. Perfect. I mean, how is this insane? This guy is the best guy ever.

We got to watch the watermelon, TJ. Yeah, the watermelon is the main thing. Anyone want wine? This is his whole act. We got to watch the watermelon TJ. Yeah, the watermelon says No ordinary tranquilizer can. Oh, you got it on the card? No, it ain't the game. But this was the entire, like, so it was me and all these old people. There were young people at college who went to the show. And that's, there was, I don't remember, like, jokes,

but he did this the whole time, and people could not get enough of it. He smashed the entire time. And this, yeah, he, he did this the whole time, and people could not get enough of it. He smashed the entire time. Yeah, he smashed the entire time, and this was in 2000. It's so bizarre because this is a children's show. That is a children's show. That's for a toddler. A four to seven-year-old would be like, that's awesome. He smashes stuff.

How sad would it be in the nosebleeds at a Gallagher show? Just like you still have your poncho. I want to see the watermelon. I got to see the watermelon. I feel like I'm edging right now. Can we see, like, his best of, or was that it? Best of watermelon smashes? Best of Gallagher.

I respect you people. Holy fuck. You people are the culmination of eons of human development. Just by being alive means you are the survivors. We're not descending here from a bunch of fat cave people that got ate by the dinosaurs. We're all descendants from the little bitty quick fuckers that got back to the cave.

It's stone. I feel like he's going to tie in some religion. What did he just say to get that laugh? I've never heard that laugh. Wah wah wah wah! You don't get any hot s***, it's stoned. We'll never make anybody do that. No.

I was already behind the counter. I just wanted to tell my going to do it, guys. But I might do it as an encore. Oh This is Calgary might be the coolest guy ever I'll be the great career out of just smashing shit. I want to smash a watermelon. I do too.

I want to smash a watermelon. Other comics had to have hated him. Oh my God. He was like Matt Rife. So for the part of my take, we're doing a bet this season. Two picks every Sunday. And the loser is going to have to do an hour set in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl week. We already have the venue. If I lose, I might just do a Gallagher set. I to have to do an hour set in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl week. We already have the venue.

If I lose, I might just do a Gallagher set. I might have to. Yeah, you have to. You'd be good at it. I actually think if Brandon went to one of these comedy shows and just did that exact Gallagher set, it would be the funniest fucking thing ever. There have got to be rules against him now, right?

There has to be some sort of code that there's an anti-Gallagher policy. People would also start bitching about food waste as well. Oh, yeah. Peter King, that fat fuck. Wait, we should cancel Gallagher. We should be the first. I think God already did.

Yeah, by killing him? How'd he die? It had to have been a funny way, right? I think he's dead. I'm almost certain he's dead. I feel like he died a couple years ago. Oh, damn it. Is the brother still touring? I think he's dead. I'm almost certain he's dead. I feel like he died a couple years ago. Oh, damn it. Is the brother still touring?

I didn't even grieve. Actually, if the first Gallagher's dead, couldn't the other brother just be Gallagher now? That's, yeah, Gallagher won. They chopped the other. He's the only one.

Wait, is he dead? Yeah, he died within the year. Oh. No. What? When did he die? What got him? November. Mallet. Somebody smashed him. november mallet somebody smashed him a giant

mallet the watermelon fought back last november organ failure oh did he smash it with a mallet smash a big fucking piano his brother really should smash his dead corpse one last ride yeah that's that's how we should go yeah fuck how did he even begin to like how did he start as someone who actually has watched a full special he does do jokes as well wow smashing or is it no they're not great jokes but he does do a set so before he does that patented the Sledge-O-Matic routine, and his brother tried to take it and it stirred up controversy between the two. That's why I had to sell it to him. What's his brother look like?

Let's get a look at Gallagher. It's a great question, Dan. How do you warm up to that? How do you – at some point he was probably just a regular stand-up comic telling jokes. How do you go from that to what we just saw? He probably just did the first one out of frustration. Just did the watermelon out of frustration? Was he doing a stand-up set

and he accidentally stepped on a grape and everyone's like, whoa! That's common. Did they throw fruit at him and then his response was to smash it? They threw a tomato. Yeah. He's like, I will smash the tomatoes.

Huh. The origin of Gallagher. That would be a good Halloween costume. Somebody that went to a Gallagher show. Covered in food. I started ordering stuff for my costume. Are you guys dressing up? Are we going to dress up?

My costume's ready. Halloween's the best. We are. Is there a theme? Or it's like everybody for themselves? I just thought we were all saying yes so mook would dress up that's what i thought okay no nothing all right we have mostly sports cars yeah i was gonna say we have to dress up as yeah dabbo we're doing dabbo day you're dressing up

as dabbo is he gonna get fired nah i don't think he can ever get fired from there he built them they can't fire him. Does that sound southern? Did I say far? Far. Far. They can't fire him. Too much juice in those EMs to fire him. Oh, he did get canceled in 1999.

For food waste? No, for jokes about Mexicans. I mean, Mexican burrito would be great to smash. He walked out of a Marc Maron podcast in 2011 when Marc Maron was asking him about him. Really? Yeah. What was the Mexican joke? In subsequent years, Gallagher's routine was criticized for frequent homophobia, paranoid overtones, and racism.

Oh, so he got awesome. Paranoid overtones? Yeah, very funny. That's a weird sandwich right there. So he got awesome. Paranoid overtones. He got very funny. That's a weird sandwich right there. Homophobia, racism, and in the middle, paranoid overtones? What? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means either.

But what was guys like Dean Martin doing in the 50s? What do you mean? Drinking, smoking, and singing, and cracking jokes. That's what he was doing. And pussy. It also had to be. What were the routines where they weren't like telling jokes, were they? Yeah.

Dean was a joke teller and a song singer. Okay. I thought they were just like slapping each other with pots and pans. No, that wasn't. That's Abbott and Costello. They were smacking each other pots and pans. There was a lot of alt-y stuff early on. What?

A lot of what? Like alt-y stuff. Alt-y stuff? Like Steve Martin. Like not typical like punchline. Yeah, everybody had a little bit of a gimmick to them. It also had to be so awesome to be like, what, 1950s? How many famous people were there?

Like 20? There was probably 20 famous people. Yeah. And you were one of them? Sinatra. How do you even get famous in the 20s? Yeah. You just are, you like sell out Vegas?

Yeah, I don't know. You're in like a- That's what the Rat Pack was. It was all the famous people. That was it. But they were literally the only famous people. I think you try boxing, and then if you fail, you do bare-knuckle boxing. Yeah, I think you're right. You play baseball?

I think they would have staged bare-knuckle fighting, and people would pay to watch one get have staged bare-knuckle fighting, and people would pay to watch one get knocked out. Yeah, that was the only way to get famous. You were a boxer, or you played outfield for the Yankees. And other positions, probably pitchers. Were pitchers famous back then? I don't think so. Pitchers were famous?

Not really. What position wasn't famous? Whitey Ford? Cy Young. Cy Young famous. Well, no, he got famous after the fact because they named the award after him. Sandy Koufax was in Mr. X. But Sandy Koufax was in the 60s.

We're talking like 40s. It was all through like wives tales. Yeah. Had to be like an urban legend, I feel like. Because baseball was kind of the only sport. Like, obviously, they played the other sports, but no one. What are you doing? What are you doing, Brandon?

We're doing a show. Do you want to be part of the show or no? I got to go pee real bad. Does the yak sneak up on you every single day? We were hacking. Don't pace. Don't pace behind me. I wasn't pacing.

That's a paranoid overtone. Yeah, you are. You can cancel for that. No, I was going to pee, but then y'all started talking about baseball in the 40s, and I love baseball in the 40s. We're talking 20s. Okay, so name some... He said 40s. We're talking 20s. Okay, so name some.

He said 40s. For the 20s and 40s. The 20s? 20s. Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth was the most famous person in the world. Who won the World Series in the 40s? Just name some.

What year? 1945, the Tigers beat the Cubs. 1946, the Cardinals beat the Red Sox. 47, the Yankees beat the Dodgers. Okay. 48, the Indians. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. 47, the Yankees beat the Dodgers. 48, the Indians. I'm going to try to be a sound effect guy this season. Jokes are done.

You got his ass so good there. He had no idea what to do. Get snored. Brandon's mom made the mistake of, or Brandon sent me. You can stop there. I just sent it to TJ You can pull out Another baby picture where he's As a child he's so happy and his face is so taut

He has no eyeballs Oh my god Jesus Christ he's got a hollow head He's got no This is really really scary That is a baby doll that someone That was his baby doll He looks like he's made no really really scary that is a baby doll that someone that like from toy story that was his baby he looks like he's made out of clay he looks like the buried colombian girl i bring

her up too often oh yeah you do bring her up too often and it never lands yet here we are can't go into an ad from that we just sit in silence after you bring her up that's what he looked like same eyes brandon that's weird do we have another yak world uh cup ready that was awesome we should do an ad i can't do it it. Someone do it. Hello. Oh, damn. That's a lot of juice in those games. Those are awesome. Today's episode also brought to you by High Noon. It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized long games because the High Noon game day pack is back.

It includes limited edition fan faves, pear, cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit. Made with real vodka, real juice, 100 100 calories gluten-free no added sugar but do remember everybody limited edition so it's here for a good time but not a long time visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you high noon should we um should we talk about mincey real Should we Should we talk about Mincy real quick Yeah I didn't see

These pictures This was what His 20th high school reunion Well he Now Brandon's coming back This way He had his 20th Was it high school

Or college 20th high school Which is 41 Yeah wait what How old is Mincy 40 40 Oh that's Oh wait so wait a minute Yep Wait what Oh 41. Yeah, wait, what? How old is Mincy? 40. 40.

Oh, wait. So, wait a minute. Wait, what? The math is actually checking out. Wait, he's 40? Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about his 20-year reunion?

Yeah. Wait, high school then? Yeah. Wait, what? Graduating at 20 is probably normal in the South. I would disagree. I thinkuating at 20 is probably normal in the South. I wouldn't disagree. I think graduate at 20. Okay.

21? No. Oh. You can't be 21 in high school, right? Because then you'd buy booze for everybody? Don't they make you go somewhere else? Is that a rule? There were no 22-year-olds in high school.

They couldn't leave. They weren't allowed to go. Huh. So, yeah, he had his 20th high school reunion. He's 40. Can we... In fairness, he did have the reunion in the fall, and I assume he graduated in the spring.

So he was 13. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. 19. He was 19. But he was basically the Riz God. I don't know if you guys saw the video of him dancing. Well, are we calling him the Riz God? Yes.

Look at this. Yeah, let's pull up his journal, his Twitter. Every single... Look at this. Yeah. And then these other ladies. Oh. Oh.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. I need you all to shut up for a second. I'd like to Gallagher those melodies. Damn. And Mincy, look, it's just only chicks in him.

People can laugh, but he's the only one brave enough to be out there with all these ladies. And look at him dancing just exactly how you'd expect. These are quality ladies. I like the hokas. Do you think he changed shoes to go on the dance floor? Yes. Keep in mind, the song here is still flying. Is that what it is?

And he's also like, his dance moves are just... Did he ask you to film it? What do you think? Look at this. Yo, can you film this Riz real quick? Be sure to get those titties. Look at him. What was that? Wait, go back. I already see that. He just started humping like a dog humping air.

Oh. Oh. He's just, he is all boned up. Oh. Oh. Oh. Who's spinning who? I don't think, yeah.

Oh. He's in flow state. We don't think he fucked all these women, do we? Most. At least got sucked. Wow. At least. Oh, man.

He's starting his trek up here, right? Yeah. November 1st, I want to say. Oh, man. I'm excited. He's going to get lost on the way here. Wait, should we throw a dance in the gymnasium? Yes.

We should have a dance. We should have to bring a date. No spouses. What the fuck? They would understand. Yeah. Everything okay, man? No, I've been fasting too much.

What do you mean too much? Like you're not eating at all? Like an extreme calorie deficit. Why? It was fun at first. Why was it fun at first? I don't know. If you feel almost more energized, ironically.

Yeah. Hour 22, then hour 23. Oh, Kyle. Yeah. That's anorexia. Wait, you're 23 hours of fasting? I did 24 yesterday it felt amazing until like hour 23 but what are you doing today i'm going until five

wait it's not it's not bad what have you eaten wait when when the fast was done what did you eat like what have you eaten in the last two days? 1,400 calories like a poke bowl and chicken. Damn. Some gravy. It's making me feel young. Some gravy and onions

and potato. Oh yeah, and the gravy. Are you doing full workouts just like always? Oh yeah. Oh, okay. Are you on a cut right now? That's what it would be called.

I'm not, that's not the goal, but yeah. So what is the goal? Experimenting with new like feelings okay okay you just need to start doing drugs again i think any change in like my psyche is positive even if it's negative have you tried doing the reverse like over reading yeah i've tried that yeah like 10 000 i think it's much harder and much grosser yeah much like hard uh it feels way worse tj how much weight are you down tj yeah you look small

30 pounds good shit congrats that's awesome long way to go what's your biggest takeaway so far me yeah um it's like mostly mental, I think. Like if you just figure out how to gauge your brain towards it, anybody can do it. Is your energy higher? Are you happier? I think my social energy is higher. For like the first four weeks, my actual energy was way lower. How's the libido?

I guess lower. I don't know. That's like been part of it though, but I'm not going to get into that. A lot of empty wish lists out there. What's your goal weight? I guess like 225-ish. So, and what do you weigh now? 26, 270. Wow.

So that would be, Jesus, man. That's incredible. First goal is 265, UFC heavyweight, and then 250, and then 225. I love it. I love that. What a beast. Have you started buying new clothes? No, but my clothes do fit looser.

Like all my pants. 30 pounds will do that. Brandon? Inspired? Why? Inspired? We're all going to get jacked. Why don't you stand up?

Why would I stand up? There's a lot of juice in those. Brandon also has just become a butt crack guy. Like just showing his butt crack. I walked out today and he was just like sitting on the couch and his butt crack. Well, this is a butt crack office. There's a lot of places to sit in the wide open. Isn't it a butt crack office?

It's a butt crack office. Unfortunately, it is. It is. And we have a 12-year lease. Damn it. There's a couch upstairs that just sits out in the middle. And it's just a butt crack couch. And there's no cover for you.

There's never cover for your butt crack. It's a lot because yours doesn't start until way far out. No, his starts on the front. It looks like a pussy. It does. Yeah, it goes way down. You don't see my butt crack here. There's no butt crack showing there.

There's the idea of a butt crack. You can see what's pinching the pants. That's a man locking in right there. Swatching ball. How many layers do you have on? That was just my drawers and my pants. Your drawers? I saw three colors.

That's how the shorts are designed? No, no. That was the outline of very loose, tighty-whiteies. Can I see that again? Pull that video. When I wear sweatpants... Look, there's three layers. Yeah, there are. Yeah.

I always wear shorts between the boxers and sweatpants so that my dick print doesn't show. Dick too big. Yeah, I try to keep the dick from not showing.

So you're wearing shorts underneath your sweatpants at all times. Correct. If I'm wearing sweatpants, I'm wearing shorts between them. Is that something

you guys think of a lot? I think about my dick a lot, yeah. Like your dick print? I do, yeah. I canpants, I'm wearing shorts between them. Is that something you guys think of a lot? I think about my dick a lot. Like your dick print? I do. I don't want to wear certain underwears with sweatpants. If you just say you have a small dick, which I do, you don't worry about it. Most days I walk around

thinking I don't have a dick. I don't think about it. It's just not in my brain. But you're dick aware. I'm never physically thinking about my cock. He's dick blonde. If you wear sweatpants, you're dick aware. I don't really. You're not dick aware?

No. That's gotten me in trouble. I forgot about the print being visibly small. Yeah. It's gotten you in trouble. I've had very horrendous looks. Print looks. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I was horrendous looks. Print looks. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I think I was wearing baseball pants. Wasn't your dick out in an anus video? Yes. What? What a sentence. Adding videos changes that whole sentence. What? Yeah, you could see his dick print perfectly when Kyle wore a hospital gown.

And there was one step that you took where it was just, if you adjust the saturation. You got to do some work to it, but you can get there. Yeah. Well, it's comforting to know that other guys are in a similar boat. Of what? And are open about it. Dick awareness. A tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny penis.

Yeah. I don't think you have a tiny, tiny penis. I didn't really say mine was tiny. I just said I just didn't want it to be shown. That was double tiny. Yeah. It is tiny, but I didn't say that. Mark, you want to jump in?

I would. No, I don't. You guys have the cover. I'll sit over here. I'd say I'm below average, but it presents as way below average. It's not very confident? No. Yeah.

No, it's not. It's hiding behind the balls. Yeah. Don't look at me. I mean, when we start using the basketball court, there's nothing worse than an athlete's dick. When all the blood in your body is needed in your heart, and then it just goes away from your penis, and you look like you have a tic-tac. Is that the phenomenon happening? Yeah, that is.

But it still bounces around in the shorts. Not even bounces, but it's like the stopper on like a Wheel of Fortune wheel. I might start wearing a stunt cock. Like a cock that's so small it's hard all the time. Uh-huh. Yeah.

That's what I'm... I was watching an NFL player do... Did you see this? The Wheel of Fortune? Oh, and it got to one letter entire thing was Uentin Tarantino. So just the Q. Wait, what? The entire board was full.

It was going to Reno with Quentin Tarantino, and the only letter that wasn't there was the Q. And he couldn't get it? Yeah, I think he guessed an H. Quentin? Or no, it wasn't even as good as an H. It was worse than an H. I'm not listening.

Yeah. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that, Jimmy? Check off me. Who's next, Andrew?

Pete. What? Oh, shit. I wish I could help. I really do. What? Oh, no. That's Tom really do. Quentin. Oh, no. That's tough.

Yeah. Quentin. Yeah. Dumb Wheel of Fortune answers are the best. They always just, you're like, how is this possible? But I guess, you're not a movie guy. But Great Wheel of Fortune answers are also equally incredible. I haven't seen highlights of the best solves.

I've got a good feeling about this lady got it with one letter. I've got a good feeling about this. Wheel of Fortune's been coming on before football. I have cable now and it is awesome. Wheel of Fortune's an awesome show. I've always loved it. Vanna finally got paid, right?

She's trying to get her daughter to be the next one. Nepotism? She's trying to hand off her job to her daughter. It's Pat Sajak's last year, right? She's trying to get her daughter to be the next one. Oh, nepotism? Kind of a Gallagher situation. She's trying to hand off her job to her daughter. It's Pat Sajak's last year, right? Seacrest. Is it a Seacrest? I think it is. I think it is Seacrest. What a great job.

That and Price is Right. You get that, you hold on to that. Drew Carey can just do that for the next 40 years. I think Wheel of Fortune is probably the best one. No, Price is Right, you get to one. No. Price is right. You get to kiss the babies. Price is right is an hour long though. Sajak can knock out like 18 minutes of Wheel of Fortune.

No. Price is right. All the honeys want to kiss you. Yeah, but Pat Sajak was never Trebek. He was never as famous as Trebek. They wanted to kiss Bob Barker. They don't kiss Drew Carey, do they? I don't know. Does Drew Carey kiss? No, they do. People are into Drew Carey. They kiss Drew? What are the

power rankings of Sajak, Barker, and Trebek? Trebek's one. I think Barker's the GOAT. Barker's the GOAT. I thought Barker was one. But I think Sajak is... Wait, did Barker just die? He just died, yeah. Well, Trebek did too. I think Sajak is as famous as Trebek was. No.

You don't think so? Sajak's pretty famous. I guess he had a Muppet made after him. Amongst boomers and the previous generation. Yeah. I think maybe. I think Sajak's really famous. Why is he retiring? Because he's been doing it 30 years.

I'd have to fucking... I mean, let's be honest. Jeopardy was for smart people. Right. Wheel of Fortune is for... And Price is Right is for kids that don't want to go to school, which is why I loved it. Yeah, Pat Sajak's famous.

I think Steve Harvey's running up the... Who's the guy that... The fame rankings on the game show host. Who's an A-lister? Steven's A-lister? What was that guy's name? Bruce Valanche. The guy that's in the middle of Hollywood Squares.

He was the middle square. He's a Buckeye, too. Ohio State alum, Bruce Valanche. He legitimately thought he was super famous. When we were in L.A. for the Super Bowl, he was like, you won't believe who I saw today. And he's like, Bruce Valanche. We're like, who?

Top five most recognizable guys in Hollywood. No! No! He is not. He's unmistakable. Steven, are you? That involves knowing who he is first. I feel like.

Yeah, knowing somebody. Nobody knows who that is. Yeah, if I saw him, I'd be like, I think that's someone. Yeah, just because you look like a freak doesn't make you famous. Again, he was the middle square on Hollywood Squares. Nobody watched that show. I watched it. You watched it.

I didn't watch it i saw it steven where are you and jeff d low at after jeff d low uh that was an all-time miss by jeff d low no we're good i mean me and him are friends he i get we were on barstool radio yesterday and then i went on lights camera barstool uh yesterday that's out today and he said that he took some of the uh pent up rage towards another person who said to not go to the theaters on me who said to not go to the theaters uh castellani oh so i am a huge movie theater i'm an i've been an nc stubs member for like 12 years can you summarize this for me i watched theown, and I was dying at you and Dave laughing about Jeff D. Lowe's tirade.

So Stephen and Jerry went to see the what's the movie called? Our Moon. Killers of the Flower Moon. Killers of the Flower Moon. They went on a Thursday. It's a three-and-a-half-hour movie. Stephen Chay and Jerry did an instant review after outside the movie theater. And they're like, it's the worst movie ever.

It's so long. Jerry said it was a top three worst experience of his life. And I noted that Jerry was a crack addict. Didn't he sleep by a dumpster? Yeah, he slept by a dumpster. I think he like almost overdosed a few times. Like top three worst experience of my life. And then Jeff D. Lowe was like,

this makes Barstool look bad. And the movie community won't respect us. Of all the things that we do to ourselves, Stephen Che and Jeff D. Lowe, who aren't real people. Stephen Che and Jerry's Jerry, they are not real people. If you take their opinion on anything you've already made the biggest mistake in the world i'm more concerned when i agree with that right exactly like they that was actually a ringing endorsement for that movie so for the two of them the quotes were hilarious like i can't wait to like i'm gonna float to the theater and also just the video

can you play the video of them reviewing it like just the look of the two of them i seriously think that like if killers of flower moon was smart they would do like a paid twitter ad these guys are these two fucking idiots yeah reviewing a movie and but jeff d got either he he apologized or he didn't apologize but he's like i might have overreacted but jeff d being like, how could you do this? Like, no one's going to respect you. I just got out of Killers of the Flower Moon. My guy, Jersey Jerry. Look at that. Horrible.

This movie. Yeah. Hours and 45 minutes. Jerry looks like every henchman. Could have been two hours less. Wasn't particularly interesting. There's some plot lines that are okay.

Acting's alright. Way too long. And the ending to the movie, I think they were trying to make a five hour movie. One of the weirder endings you'll see, just the way they try to put make a five-hour movie. One of the weirder endings you'll see, just the way they try to put a bow in everything,

is terrible. I think it's coming out tomorrow, technically. You got better things to do with your three hours and 45 minutes to see this. This guy fell asleep. That's up with it. Storing the whole thing up with it. He's like your silent Bob. Yeah.

So how did Jerry have a bad experience? He sounds like he just took a nap. That seems nice. Yeah, cool. Like, what the hell happened? He wasn't really in it. He just was going to, like, tag along. And he was like, yeah, I'll go see a movie with you, Stephen.

But he didn't know what it was. He didn't know. I just was like, it's going to be pretty long. And he was like, all right, well, we got time. He's like, but then into the movie is like give it all the movies do you ever again top three worst movies this also keep in mind steven chay his last movie review was of air and he said it sucked because there wasn't a love story and we already knew the ending yeah yeah so he was mad that they made

a movie about a historical movie. You're missing one. He was down on Oppenheimer because it was too long as well. That's two straight too long movies. What's a good movie, Che? What's the best movie? My top five favorite movies are The Truman Show. That's a good movie. Jerry Maguire. That's a good movie.

Up in the Air. The Matrix. And Shawshank Redemption. Okay. Shawshank's long. Yeah, but I don't mind if it's long if it's good. Okay. Pause. TJ.

I got his ass. That gay baby strikes again. Gayest baby in the world. But yeah, it was so barstool uh i'm like happy that jeff d low reacted that way because it just makes it that much funnier when we were touring the nike campus with che this guy really cool guy was showing us around and che was like this is nothing like air like i was like that was 1984 three trillion dollars it's also so funny that ste Chay is like, it's too long. This is the guy who's rooted for some of the worst professional football seasons ever.

With the Tampa Bay Bucs. But everything Chay said was true to him. He didn't lie. No, of course. It's a real movie. If I liked it, I would have said I liked it. I think a lot of movie buffs will pretend to like movies that are critically acclaimed. There are so many Scorsese hardos in my mention that haven't even seen the movie yet, but are just blindly defending it.

What really sucks is I haven't seen it, and now when I go see it, if I don't like it, I'm just going to be like, fuck. You have to like it. You have to force yourself to like it. Fuck, I have to like it. Yeah. I will watch this until I like it. I wouldn't mind. I think Jeff D'Lo should let Stephen Che have a category on MovieRankings.net.

Yeah. Stephen Che's rankings. And it's just like, too long, not enough love. I knew the Titanic. I knew the ending already. It's that. Yeah, Titanic and Passion of the Christ. Boring.

Knew how it ended. It's like the difference between someone that knows ball and a casual. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's like a casual section. Yeah. Yeah. knows ball and a casual. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's like a casual section. Yeah. He's the common man.

Yeah. Common idiot section. Most people are not signed up to see a three hour, 45 minute. That's a long ass movie. It's not three hours and 45 minutes. It's three hours, 26 minutes with previews. It's 225 minutes, which is 345. Well, you're not going to compare that movie to RRR.

The previews isn't the... Yeah, you can't count the previews as part of the movie. Scorsese didn't throw the previews in there. It's the whole experience. You're signing up. You can't go over the time. Are you counting the previews? Yeah, you counted the previews.

You can't count the previews. Now you're smoking. That's not part of the art. Okay. The artist painted the picture. He didn't, you know... Movie starts when the movie starts. I'm saying that if you're going to the movies, which I support,

if you're going to the movies to see this, it is a four-hour experience. There's not really a way to get around that. Yeah, I would never sign up for that. That was the title of my blog, basically. Yeah, but go on to a football game. If you're including tailgating, if you're including all that. Oh, yeah. To Dan's point, you go to a Buccaneers game and you're tailgating all day.

You just, you just spent like 14 hours to watch a team score three points. It's the dumbest thing our brain does. Like I will never watch a three and a half hour movie, but I'll be like, let me rewatch the office for three and a half hours. Yeah. Like you're,

it's just the idea of signing up for something that you have to start and finish. It's too daunting. Yeah. Cause as soon as your mind wonders and you lose the start and finish. It's too daunting. Yeah. Because as soon as your mind wanders and you lose the plot a little bit, you're fucked. And that's four churches, three Christmas masses. That's tough.

It is. No, but I'll watch eight episodes of something. That's six overtimes in a basketball game. Wow. Did any of you guys see it this weekend or no? No. No, I would never. No you totally you actually jeff dilo might be right we just see a total dip in people going to movies after steve j's review jeff felt like when we

make fun of a zero zero soccer game like zaz was like that was amazing right right what a game that's true yeah like the the like movie reviewers and i count jeff d lowe and ken jack is real movie reviewers stanko like the shit that they talk about like cinematography and that i don't even know what that means yeah i have no idea i have no idea what that like they're like the way it was shot one camera and you know, like, all this stuff. I'm like, what are you talking about? I think movies as films. Right.

I'm like, no. No, they actually did it on film. Like, the episode in Succession when Logan dies, they're like, it was one shot film. I was like, what? It looked the same to me. You lost me. Oh, yeah. That's like watching The Left Tackle.

Yeah, right. Stanko is a crazy person, though. If you read his blogs, he just reviewed The Meg 2, which is who's reviewing The Meg 2? And he gave a very heartfelt, in-depth review. Go to Stanko's stance. I think that's what his blog is called. What is The Meg?

The Megalodon, the giant shark that is chasing Jason Statham. Yeah, I read his Meg 2 in the trench forces. Look at how well, who does this for the Meg 2? The Meg 2, the trench forces viewers to hold their breathe. Oh no, Stanko. That's passion right there, though. Hold their breathe. No, he's English.

Wait, Napoleon's second trailer reaction? He's reacting to trailers? He's a crazy guy. That is crazy. Oh my God. Damn. Oh wow. Wait, Napoleon's second trailer reaction? He's reacting to trailers? He's a crazy guy. That is crazy. Oh, my God. Damn. Oh, wow.

The Meg 2. D minus. D minus and one star? That's confusing. I trust his ratings, though. Before I watch a movie, I will go to Stanko's stance, and he and I align. What's he have on Flower Moon? Hold on.

Does he have top picks or something? He gives it a grade and a star rating? Both? Because that gets a little confusing as to which one i'm supposed to pay more attention wait go that's stanko stan go to what's iona oh oh it just blogs about iona yeah he worked there oh he's a catalog yeah so steve tech Steve. Tech guy Steve. Yeah, tech guy Steve worked there too. Wait, can you go back? Can we see his... Does he have top movies? Stanko's movie list?

Oh, wow. Wait, that's his Excel doc. Wow. Oh, God. Can we go... Can you sort it for grades? Wait, what are the two grades? Yeah, why?

Yeah, wait, he has two grades. What are the two grades? Critics grades, my initial grade? I'll do his initial grade. Oh, yeah, yeah, we want that. Rewatch grade. Oh, that's important. All right, Oppenheimer, Fire Love, Encanto.

That is a lot of A's. Now let's see. 1917. Wow, there's a lot of A's. He likes a lot of movies. A minus. Oh, wait. Was that only 400 A's?

There's 500 rows, though. Oh, there's A plus, too. How many movies has he seen? He loves the Expendables. Wait, he gave Expendables and Expendables 2 A plus? Toy Story 3 got an A+. All right. Jackass Forever got a B.

That's bullshit. What's his least favorite movie? F-. N-A. Fs. We don't have any F-s. He didn't like Gemini, man. Dark Man.

Assassin's Creed? Spikits 3D. Spikits 3D. Whoa, I liked that. R.I.P.D. was fun, too. Spikits? What's the difference between an F and an F-plus? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Spikits 3D Game Over is really good. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I heard a lot of people loved that movie. I'm a psycho stanko. I love it. I love anyone who's passionate about anything like this. What are his NAs? Like, what could... Oh, F-minus.

Now listen. Ace Ventura when Nature calls was not as good as... Napoleon Dynamite's an F-minus. F-minus? What? Why did he not... Can you call him? Can we look up his review for Napoleon Dynamite? Is he here? Does he live here? No. I think he's here this

week. Wait, why did he re-watch an F movie? Project X? Wait, he's giving the... I can't see. F minus is a re-watch grade as well? Yeah. If you saw an F minus, I'm not watching again. Scroll up.

What F minuses did he re-watch? I want to hear what he has to say about the Napoleon Dynamite. Alien vs. Predator went down from F plus to F. That's psycho. Alien vs. Predator went down from F plus to F. That's psycho. That's so psycho. Jay just called him and he picked up the phone and went, oh no. Do you have him on the line? No, this is a good thing.

He's going to call you. Oh, okay. I love it when we find out we work with psychics. It's great. Wait, F minus to F? Who went on a golf trip with him and he blogged their golf trip? Was it Stefan? I don't know.

We're going through your reviews right now. Oh, no. Why did you give Napoleon Dynamite an F minus? I don't like Napoleon Dynamite. I can't do awkward humor. I don't like The Office. I'm an awkward person. When I see other people people in that situation I cringe and just hide my face and that whole movie is awkward humor

I'll take that that's a good answer why are you re-watching F-minuses? because I need background noise Nick you know if I'm writing or folding laundry and I can't pay full attention I just throw it on pop on an F-minus wait but then can we trust your regrades?

Oh my God, you're a psycho. How many movies have you seen? that list it's like 2800 including rewatches and i only started recording rewatches within the last year i never included rewatches before like a year ago is there one movie that like is super popular that you haven't seen that i haven't seen uh well i just saw the titanic so i can't get yelled at for that anymore okay it was the one i literally just saw it what did you grade it yeah what did you grade it uh a minus okay i have a theory that everyone has like one movie that they're very ashamed of i've never seen jurassic park i've never seen pulp fiction yeah same same these are movies yeah these are movies like

everyone has one of those where they're like if someone asks you you you feel shame being like oh i actually have never seen it uh titanic was the one, and ask Andrew Manley or anyone in the control room there, I got shamed for it very heavily the entire time. Stanko, let's test how big of a psycho you are. Can we name a movie and can you tell us your grade? I will try. I did pretty well with

Pete on this on the last college football trip. We agree. Oh, wow, that's what you're doing? I want to kill myself. If I walked into that room, I am putting lead in my mouth. Yeah, no, this isn't the room for me. Oh, Pete and Stanko just doing a quiz on his movies. Pete naming movies and Stanko saying a letter. Literally, that actually should start doing that in Guantanamo.

What else could you be doing when you're going around the country, going to colleges? We need that podcast now. What else could you possibly do? Okay. Name movies. Goodfellas. Goodfellas?

That was probably like a B plus, A minus range. DJ, can you show us his sheet? Goodfellas. Where do we got sheet? Good fellas. Where do we got it? A minus. A minus. A minus. There you go.

Flubber. Flubber? I haven't seen that since I was in like seventh grade. I don't know. Don't worry about it. It's not on the sheet. I like Robin Williams. I don't remember much of Flubber.

That was back in middle school, high school. The ping pong movie Balls of Fury. Oh, Christopher Walken, I believe, is in that. Yeah. No, Josh Gad's not in that. I don't remember. That movie's not very good. That's like a D minus D.

There will be blood. There will be blood. Oh, that's probably A plus or A. Oh, it's kind of embarrassing. You gave Balls of Fury a D plus. Oh, you gave Balls of Fury a D plus. Stanko, do you know like cinematography and like what they're shooting on and all that shit? I don't know like all the text and specs and stuff, but that is, I find visual storytelling is my most,

if the movie has good visual storytelling, I get most interested in it. What's a movie with great visual storytelling is my most if the movie has good visual storytelling i get most interested in it what's a movie with great visual storytelling all quiet on the western front the new one that was made in germany that won best international feature this past year you could watch that movie on mute and still know every single emotion that's being told well yeah they don't yeah they don't say anything it's in german German. It's in German. That movie was depressing as fuck. So sad. Have you ever... It's amazing.

Have you ever skipped out on anything... I also love sad, depressing endings. Okay. That's something about me. You love them? I do. I really do. The ending of Seven, I just watched Smile.

The ending of Smile is dreadfully horrid. You're a sicko, dude. Now, have you ever skipped out on something fun or important so you could blog Meg 2? I didn't hear what Nick said. Meg 2. Well, the Meg 2, I love creature features. The movie is horrendous.

But it's like, I mean, I gave it an F-plus or something like that. Yeah, it was F-plus. It's outstanding. Stankoo have you ever seen best of the best no i please watch best of the best and best of the best too i like best of the best too more but i would like to see your reviews on those i will put them on my list i will put them on my watch have you have you ever watched hard target or no hard to kill have you done the steven seagal are you just doing seagal movies yeah i want to see i want i know the last steven Seagal? Are you just doing Seagal movies? Yeah, I want to see.

No, the last Steven Seagal movie I think I saw was Under Siege. Was that the one with Tommy Lee Jones on the boat? Yes. Well, no, there's a train one, too. I think Under Siege 2 is the train. Yeah, that one wasn't as good if I remember correctly. But Under Siege, I liked quite a bit. It's like a Tommy Leeo, what'd you think of RRR?

I loved RRR. We watched that Saturday. Okay, you did? Oh yeah. Alright, well thank you Stanko. You're a weirdo, but we love you. I love you too. Yes, I am strange. Alright, see ya. I do love people like Stanko, like who are just so

so... Can we get him a blogger profile? Yeah, we should. He is so passionate about it. Anyone who has passion like that... He's just doing it to do it. It's just like you can just feel it off of them. They're like, man, this guy really loves movies.

I did the math. That's 186 hours of movies, 186 days, not including rewatches. So he's probably going to hit a year, a cumulative year of his life watching movies soon. Definitely. Man. Hit up his website. Stanko Stance.

Stanko Stance. Let's crash his website. Yeah, let's see if we can crash. We did this once before, and last time he did it, he said it was his all-time most page views by 1,000 acts. Can we click on contact? Stanko Stance. Stanko Stance. Oh, man.

I love passionate weirdos. Yeah, anyone who's just super passionate about anything, you're like, I want to talk to you about it. It makes me interested in it no matter what. Yeah, like if you, for instance, a racist, homophobic guy who's running for Congress. Passion. Swampland.

If you're going out and booing a parade. If you're ignoring a big media personality that will probably give you money. That's awesome. Was it paranoid undertones? Yeah, overtones. Undertones, I think you just say it. Yeah.

What is the difference between undertones and overtones? I was trying to think through that, too. I sat that one. I think undertones and overtones mean the exact same thing. Undertones are not explicitly stated. Overtones are just... Overtones, I guess. The tone is here.

Yeah. You... Over... Right. Toning. So that's like a little extra tone. You could have just left it at a little tone. The tone is here You Over toning So that's like a little extra tone You could have just left it at a little tone I think overtone might be jokes about it Undertone might be Hints

Yeah like this isn't joking So we do mostly overtones on this show Correct Have we ever had undertones? I thought undertones was like hinting at it. Isn't undertones like subliminal? And overtones is like in your face? Yeah, that's what I would say.

This is language with the yak. Versatile show. Jeff D. Lowe is going hostile, by the way. Why? What happened? He just tweeted that he saw us making fun of him while also sticking up for him while he's writing the dozen trivia. Watch my coworkers and friends make fun of me on Barstool Rangers, but also call Steven J for the four-hour experience part.

Huh? I have a match tonight. Oh, you have a match tonight? You're fucked. So fucked. Oh, no. Hopefully these aren't the answers to that match. We're making fun of him, but not really because really the joke is on Che. We're making fun of Che. I didn't make fun of him. I We're making fun of him But not really

Because really the joke is on Che We're making fun of Che I didn't make fun of Jeff I didn't make fun of Jeff It's really Jeff The only thing you make fun of Jeff for Is taking Che seriously Because Che is the joke

If you have the chance To go to the movie theater with Jeff It's an incredible experience It's like when a song breaks out in a musical He'll like spin around the pole Welcome It's incredible I think there's a non-zero chance spin around the pole. Welcome. It's incredible.

You think there's a non-zero chance that Jeff D'Lo hosts the Oscars one time? I wouldn't put it at zero. I wouldn't put it at zero either. I could see him getting a morning game show on cable soon. How often would he shush the crowd if he was hosting the live show?

Put Stephen Che in the front row just be having to fall asleep jeff d lowe have handled will smith oh what a moment that would have been what uh yeah how does he go about finding out that they weren't together when he did that, too? I know. Total cuck. Yeah. By the way, Factor, with the busy fall season already in swing, you might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals for jam-packed days. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with chef-prepared, dietitian-approved, ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door.

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Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. I just got a voicemail. What the fuck? Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. I just got a voicemail. What the fuck?

Factor. All these spam calls. You guys get a shitload of spam. I've been getting a lot lately. The CDC. Oh, they've been up your ass? You guys been walking a lot? I'll tell you what.

This office, I'm going to be walking a lot more. Around Chicago. Oh. No, I drive. My neighborhood. Will you guys be taking the elevator to the second floor here? No. lot more. Around Chicago. Oh. No, I drive. My neighborhood. Will you guys be taking the elevator to the second floor here? No. Yes.

I have been. Absolutely, yes. We know you have been, Brandon. Titus, you rode the elevator with me today. What are we doing? What? Was that not you? I have not.

That was me. That was you. Okay, sorry. Taking an elevator one floor, Brandon? What are you going to say, Moot, if it's there? Rudy, me and Rudy were upstairs, and he was like, let's hit the elevator down. I was like, this feels weird. We should just do one

flight of stairs. So you just want the elevator to get lonely and not get used? I think the elevators for... Brandon forgot about handicapped. Yeah, the handicapped, the pregnant women. Thank you. Thank you. When you tear your ACL on the basketball court, you will use the elevator. Which I will.

Brandon actually has no reason to go upstairs. No, there is a reason. You invited me upstairs to the chilling spot today. I can already tell Brandon's going to piss me off by not being where the content should be. No, that was you. You asked me to come up to the chill spot. Well, I said that because you're going to do your little show in the morning and then you're just going to

sit there and be away from everyone. That's where you saw my butt crack today was in the chill spot. Sure, you did the chill spot a secret spot or no it's just upstairs where it's all wired for mics and everything okay where the content people sit all right i do have an idea for up there we should put a slide in by the way zip line zip line zip line yeah yeah go ahead i uh i want to start trapping up there i'm sorry sorry? Like for beaver furs and shit? No. Oh.

I want to start like a commissary. Still don't have a circle. Prison talk. Anyone. But no, we don't have like a bodega near us. Oh. So I want to start selling a bunch of stuff. Oh, that would actually be good.

Snacks, nicotine. Yeah. You want to be the red of. Snacks, nicotine. Yeah. You want to be the red of this office? Yes. He already is. He has a little cart that he takes around. 40s. We have a kitchen.

Yeah, but I want to trap. I want to hustle in here. I want to make a name for myself. Okay. That's good. Do I have your permission? Yeah, I guess so. We're definitely going to need an intern of some sort to rebound

for when we're just throwing shots from the balcony. Oh, yeah. We could hire a rebound intern. Yeah, we can get one of those. We've got to get someone to just run around and rebound the ball, please. Dude, if we put out a zip recruiter for a rebound intern, let's get a guy that's like 6'10 that played it. Yeah.

We get like a little golf cart that sucks up basketballs and shoots them. Yeah, back up. Yeah. I want to get a tennis ball gun, too. That's not the worst video idea to have like every NBA guy comes in and you just interview him. Just be like, hey, can you rebound real quick? Thank God you're here. I would love to be a rebounder for an NBA guy.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'd be good at it. Yeah, you would because they make all their shots. Still wouldn't. The right pass back to somebody is. Put it in the shooting pocket. Put it in the shooting.

What's the shooting pocket? Or put it where they're ready. Yeah, you know ball, Brandon. You can say it. Be confident in yourself. I was good. You were there. I was good.

Yeah. We have an idea. I don't want to say too much for Black Friday because or Cyber Monday. There might be some people in this office are going to play basketball to a thousand points. Yeah. When you were talking about it, I've never felt dread like that. Full court. Thousand points wins.

Oh, my God. That is torture. Two people. No, my God. That is torture. Two people? No, I think five on five. It took us 30 minutes for us all to score once at the halftime show last year. We do have to do a dry run. Once we're eligible to go on the court,

we'll have to do a dry run of Yak basketball to get ready for the invitational. Just stay off the paper. The hut is back. Wait, no. We got them back. the paper the hut is back the hut wait no we got him back oh the dude is back we became we were anti-hut titus we're gonna have to you know what we're gonna have to start running like actual like screens on him i think we need to like come together as so last year in the invitational titus we we have yak basketball right the dumbest game ever right no dribbling or you can you can dribble, but there's no travel.

And the rule is it's everyone on the court, and you have to score to get off the court. And if there's a shot taken on one side, then the next shot has to be on the other side. So when you watch it, it obviously looks like a bunch of people who've never played basketball before. So we went out for the Barcelona Invitational at halftime, and Pizza Hut, wonderful sponsor great pizza they brought a dude who i think is like 6 11 played at bc and he just started fucking swatting us and like and he's just like

yeah and we're like what the fuck dude did r? Did Roan pay for it? But then he would, like, get back on defense. He stole the ball from me. Yeah, that was the other guy. We're so out of shape. Good shot, Nicky. That wasn't bad. So there's one guy who Pizza Hut hired to just be the Pizza Hut guy. Look at how bad this looks.

Yeah, he would just steal the ball. I was just screaming. I was like, fuck you, Hut. You could see me saying that. This isn't your game, Hut. That's Roan's shot, isn't it? Yeah, he made that. Holy shit.

Incredible shot. And the Hut was the guy that cried in his press conference that said he's going to miss restaurants. Great guy. Yeah, I like him. He was so nice. He's a competitor on the court. He was so kind. Roan. I like him. He was so nice. He's a competitor on the court. Rome's having his moment.

This was so pathetic. Yeah, we're going to run this back. Why? Because it's fun for people to see. I'll play. Yeah, you have to play in the act basketball. I So you score, you're off?

Yeah, you're off. It's so humiliating. It's the most humiliating. It doesn't seem like I'll be out there long. Because there's a bunch of dudes who are like, like, these people never have played basketball before. I think I hit three Puentin Tarantinos. Oh no! Yeah, I felt, yeah.

I was so out of shape I could taste blood in my mouth. And I've like, I only ran back and forth on the court like four times. Well, you don't have to do it this time, Kate. Yeah, I know. I need a lookalike with the same hair. Titus? PFT? Who looks like you?

Who are you pointing to right now? I was just saying, Titus and I are the same. I always wear mine up. If you put it in a little bun. I'll be Kate for the Yak basketball. Brandon, when did you hit your shot? Yeah, this was Nick. He was the loser, but the winner.

No, you won. I won. You were the last two. No, did you hit the first shot? No, no. I hit the last shot. That was strategic. That was the most screen time, baby.

I mulled around the half court line, and TJ eventually just threw me a second ball. Yeah, yeah. Because you were starting to get a migraine yeah did you did you ever at any point sit down brandon during the yak basketball i just stood on one end of the court one time i tried to i checked the ball with the hut and i was going to try to like make a move on him and he he bullshit checked me back i sat down yeah i i went how yak basketball works is you get a turbo boost. It's like, I'm going to try really hard on this one possession, and then if you fail, you're like, all right, I'm out for the next five minutes. You got to let the stamina build back up.

Ron was the only one that came out of that looking cool. Yeah. Like most things. That was considered cool. Oh, yeah. What? CS. Wait, have you ever seen the original Yak basketball clip?

Because that was when we. The shot of Roach. What is this? The original Yak basketball clip went viral because people were like, they're like, this is Barstool sports. Sass loves his job, man. Yeah. He's going to have to play again. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I. Barstool sports Sass loves his job man Yeah I don't

He's gonna have to play again Yeah Yeah I don't know if I Yeah I don't know It's gonna be tough for me I am going to be a hardo Like I Which means you're gonna lose

It's hard for me Like it's gonna be hard for me To get a basketball in my hand And be staring at a rim And not just like Yeah you're gonna lose You're gonna look terrible Make the shot

Like it's gonna be hard for me To be like People are gonna be like What the fuck Why are you taking it so seriously? Yeah. Do you have the original clip of Yak basketball? People like... Was it LA?

Yeah, LA. People just like, this is Barstool Sports? It was in the sunshine, so I didn't go the first one. Yeah, we did the cigarette relay too. That was a fun week. Yeah, it was a blast relay that was a fun week yeah blast it was a fun week last year was a little bit tougher because the hotel was so far from that house last year oh yeah arizona yeah we drove all the time felt like we were just in a car the entire time in arizona

i know next year new orleans that's the best place for vegas this year yeah vegas we still have to drive. Yeah, this is Yak basketball. Oh, no! You just pull this up and you're like, what do they do? Why did the guys shoot on both groups? That's cool again.

Yep. Here comes... Here comes Here comes sex Here we go You're disgusted right? Oh my god You don't want to be a part of this No I'll be a part of it I'm just like

I see the future and it's like, this is a fucking hard-o. You get one shot, you make you fucking... You could try not to do that and just shoot with your left hand. Why don't we give him a wheelchair? Yeah. That would be fun.

That would be fun. Yeah. Yeah. I do think there's legs to having people have to wear boxing gloves or oh yeah we're gonna do that for sure yeah i'll do yes i need i need yes scuba gear roller blades line folded it would be good give me a couple of those we have the drunk goggles yeah

oh you can wear the drunk goggles this is a can't win situation for me unless i get all this i'll do the drunk goggles yeah but still if you like just cock it back and dunk it just like five brain are you gonna dunk again no no i'm not i didn't want to do it last time no no i'm saying are you gonna dunk again oh will i be able to i i will be able to dunk again in my life as soon as i get serious about it. I love that for you. Yeah. Were you going to trampoline? And they were like, no, no, they wouldn't. They didn't have the insurance for it.

Yeah. Yeah. Weren't you trying to dunk again at one point? So a couple of years ago I started a little fitness routine and I was going to do it, but I didn't, I fell out of it. So, uh, I got COVID and fell out of the oven, but now, yeah, now we have a court and a goal and I got some, I can see it every day. I'll fell out of it. But now, yeah, now we have a court and a goal, and I can see it every day. I'll start getting into it.

And you take the elevator one floor down. Well, that's not near the basketball court, though. That's the path to dunking. That's just to get up to the second floor. That is. Yeah. So this is – I wouldn't watch this, though, because this was – That's a dunking basketball in three months.

I wouldn't watch that. We can watch the jumper still wet, but we can't. You got COVID in 2022? Yeah. Oh, that's wet. Oh, my goodness. But what about the dunk? I want to see the dunk.

Where are you at? Well, there's no real. I wouldn't watch this. Here's my promise. Because it's actually 10 and a half, 11 feet rims in Jersey. Yeah. That's a Jersey rule. It's not a big deal.

I can't. I don't and oh not great bob not great okay okay i don't this one i could have gotten i just took off a little bit too far away oh oh what are you going for here to To hit the rim? I was trying to grab the rim. Never mind. That's not happening. And you thought three months after you shot this, you might be able to have a basketball in your hand. I realized it right there that that wasn't. I never tried it again.

How much did you improve with the second video? There was no second video. Yeah, I know. I had a high thought the other day. You know how in NBA 2K, a 60 overall player can throw one down every once in a while or hit a three? Sure. In real life, what if you just randomly saw me take off from the free throw line and yam one in? What if?

Wait, your high thought was like, what if I was LeBron James? No, it was like, what if like, I know physically I can't do it, but what if like randomly, like I just could, but you won't be. What the fuck? If it was like a video, you're watching rookie of the year and saw a 12 year old throw a baseball a hundred miles an hour. That's not a part of, that's not a random thing you can do. I know, but wouldn't it be if you're, you're saying like, it'd be pretty cool.

I actually have these thoughts too. Like what if I've, what if I've missed my last shot ever in my life? Yeah, I get that. I'll never miss again. Could. Never. Could be. You don't know.

We don't know until I miss again. I say it to myself every time I play beer pong. What if I just hit every shot? Every shot. Every single shot. I wanted to like dunk last night like really bad. Yeah. I don't know why.

Why don't you start training? That would be a cool series. That would be a cool series. Well, I think if I try it enough, like really bad. Yeah. I don't know why. Why don't you start training? That would be a cool series. That would be a cool series. Well, I think if I try it enough, one out of a thousand, like what if I just got up there one time? No, that's not how it works. But that's the thought. Okay.

Who's like the shortest person to ever dunk on a regular? I don't know if we know that record. 5'3". Like could Allen Iverson could dunk? Oh, yeah. He was tall. Spud Webb won a dunk contest at 5'3 Like could Allen Iverson Could dunk Oh yeah He was tall Spud Webb won a dunk contest At 5'7 NBA players

Fuck up your Perception of height Yeah Like Steph Curry's small He's 6'3 In my mind Allen Iverson's Teeny

Yeah right Everyone's like Steph Curry's so small It's like He's a very tall person Brandon Todd 5'5 and he could dunk I mean look at him

I'd like to see Brandon Todd dunk He's a fucking beast 5'2 5'5", and he could dunk. I mean, look at him. I'd like to see Brandon Todd dunk. He's a fucking beast. 5'2". 5'2". Okay. Holy shit, Dan. The Flight Brothers.

That is sick. So there's no excuse, Mook. None. Well, there is an excuse. A little different. I'll tell you what, Moog could awkwardly stand in the background of this video. I guarantee it. I could do that.

I'd be good at that. I like this idea. What do you think is the best, most impressive athletic feat you could get to in three months? Like hit a major league home run? No. I'm talking weight. I think it's golf related. No.

Remember that guy's tweet? I'm terrible at golf. Three months, I bet you could get a 30-yard field goal. I think I could rip a 30-yarder. Remember that Philly sports writer's tweet? It was like, you know, I could score a goal. Or no. I could luck into a home run. Yeah, he was like luck into a home yeah he's

like scoring goal is hard in the nhl scoring a touchdown would be tough but i could luck into a home run that is like that is the hardest thing to do the hardest 95 mile an hour fastball 350 feet yeah that was the dumbest thing i've ever seen i could luck into a goal in the nhl if you just stand in front of the net and it hit us off your shoulder. I could maybe score a touchdown. I could luck into a home run. I could probably get two points in an NBA game. I could play 100 games of hockey and never ever score a goal.

So it was reverse. It was hockey. He's got it absolutely reverse. The only thing that you could probably do is score a goal. Just hang around near the end. Yeah, right. You could literally stand there and someone else shoots it off your skate and you score the goal. And there's no way you get two points in the nba that's the only thing i couldn't get two points you could maybe get three points in the nba game

but you just threw a half court shot every time yeah you could get fouled yeah che i think would agree with that would you i could luck into a home run jake could do all four of those yes i think easy no i absolutely cannot. I can't hit a 60-mile-an-hour pitch, let alone whatever. What's the easiest one? Touchdown? I think the goal. Yeah, the goal.

Because you can just stand there in front of the net. And just, like, eat shots. Right. Yeah. And, like, a deflection would count as a goal. People who can physically throw a basketball into the into and score two points physically score don't realize that on an nba court you won't get the ball right they will not allow you to get the ball right right they will not allow you to bring i

mean yeah there's a lot of those factors that play into it because like if if one of us went on an nba court and we caught the ball at the three-point line they probably would just laugh and like let us shoot but if we're assuming that they're playing this like it's you wouldn't score like it's somebody says well i can make a layup well you wouldn't get a layup yeah yeah right um all right we have to i think we have to end because we have to share cameras here oh who are we sharing with uh pmt for the next couple days so i apologize for that but they But they need to wheel these cameras out. That's fine. I'll tell you what.

This new studio, I already feel the vibes are all the way back. It feels really good. Yeah. I don't know how to sit yet. Neither do I. How are you guys sitting in these chairs? I'm kind of just... I'm tilting the mic.

I love it. Me and Brandon are sitting the same way. Tilting. I think the chair... I've been doing a lot of this, which I'm sure is a very bad visual. If our socks are clean, are we allowed to put our feet on the chairs? Yeah. And we will have,

the new cameras will be here, I think, in the next few days where we can get the wide shot where it's all of us. Should be nice. You're allowed to do anything. You can have the baby in that chair if you'd like. That's true.

Yeah. That's true. We should pick out artwork. Yeah, we should all pick out one piece of artwork. We need to get some artwork over there. Where's our dick paintings? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And the out one piece of artwork. We need to get some artwork Where's our dick paintings? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And the Frank the Tank painting. It's on the shipment. We have one piece back here. We don't have a piece, but yeah, hold on. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? We also need to, do we not have mousetraps?

We need to get more mousetraps. Well, I don't know that we need mousetraps. Oh, we do. I think we should. That's cool. I wouldn't. Oh, that's sick.

I wouldn't bring mousetraps. Hell yeah. Please everyone subscribe. Maybe we'll do a sub-a-thon in the basketball court the first day it's unveiled. Everyone's got to get to 20 points in yak basketball. Come on. Oh, God. Mook has to dunk.

Mook has to dunk. We won't stop him. I mean, it could happen. What if Mook has to dunk, but we can help him? No. We're going to kill him. Yeah. Yeah.

I could put Mook on my shoulders. We could do that. No problem. I don't think. Could Mook dunk on your shoulders? Yeah. Yeah. Good God.

He'd be 14 feet in the air. I'd be like your Beyonce. No, he'd be about. It'd be his ass to the rim. Arms up. Okay. Good God. Good God the rim. Arms up. Okay. Good God. Good God.

Good God, Brandon. Sorry. Spin the goddamn wheel. Good God. Damn. Damn. Damn. A lot of juice in those yams.

Damn. Okay. See, maybe Thursday, Will Compton might be here again That'd be great Kyle Long's gonna be In the office all day too That'd be great I gotta say

Sunlight makes such a difference I know And it's like 75 times I know It's so beautiful I wanna go drink on the roof Is there a roof here? No

No Well yeah but Oh yeah you could It's a building No no there actually isn't whoa roofless building they're new oh no mom just texted me this very white man capital very okay yeah that's a true that's tj i thought i was black tj tj your your mother tweeted her disappointment of me for the pants pissing.

Have you talked to her about it? Yeah, I've said this before, but when I was first showing my parents Barstool stuff, I showed them the piss dogs very early on, and they were like, I don't know what this is, but you can't be involved. And you definitely can't be involved. That is like my one no-go, so I'm terrified if I ever get swept on the wheel, which means I will get swept on the wheel Which means I will Get swept on the wheel

Right now Probably right now And here we go TJ's pissing So is that the new thing You can choose You either get wet Or you piss your pants

No it's a sweat It's only if you get swept In the finals It's like a butthole In FIFA What? I don't know how I missed that You guys have never

Played butthole rules? Oh I wanted mousetrap. I did too. What would we do, though? Basically, if you lose in FIFA 4-0, you have to take a picture of your butthole, and the person that wins gets to send it to a random contact in your phone. Oh, nice.

Has that ever happened to you? And then 5-0 is a naked lap. That seems very reasonable, a 4-0 score. Yeah, I mean, it's like pure domination. Yeah. Getting buttholes. There was one summer of buttholes. It was crazy. Steven, can you make sure we have mousetraps tomorrow? Have you ever been sent a butthole? Yes. Thank you.

Butthole Barry. Butthole Barry. Okay, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in to the Yak. Please subscribe. Hit the subscribe. Hit the subscribe. And the like. Appreciate all of you. we're back baby season 11 season 11 is roaring Happy birthday, Taylor Smith. See you tomorrow. Bye.