The Yak - Welcome to the Slap Wheel | 3-28-22

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, oh, yo, yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Full House, everybody on the show is here.

Yeah, that's real. Yeah, no, that's real. What's that? What's that? That's a consent form for slap wheel. Oh, let's go. You don't want to consent. That's fine. You're a want to consent? That's fine.

You're a pussy. I think we've got to play slap wheel today. You guys got the dude wipe sponsorship? Nah. You guys are going to take care of that? Give me a thumbs up. Nicky Clicky's back in the business. That form is real.

Crafted by our in-house counsel. Also, Stephen Chay thinks that Will Smith should be in jail. In jail. Not in jail, but I mean, you can't... He should get arrested, right? You said he should be arrested.

I said he should press charges. What do you think happens if he gets arrested? What's that? Where does he go if he gets arrested? Jail. Well, if you press charges, it doesn't mean you immediately go to jail. There's like a hearing and all that stuff. But like, in what world, like, I mean, this is probably the most relatable for Sass.

He's a comedian. If he makes a joke and somebody in the crowd takes offense to it, they can just go hit him? Steven, he would never make an alopecia joke. No, not Sass. No one would stoop that low. It's an extremely blurry line. You don't understand. I don't think it's blurry at all.

I just wouldn't. Chris Rock is like, why would he press charges? He'd look like the biggest puss. Yeah. But what would happen if that happened to sass, right? I guess that would be different. Oh, did Rudy say, you're saying that sass is already a bitch? If it happened to sass,, if it happened in front of,

if it happened to sass, it wouldn't be in front of the entire world. I mean, it could be in front of a comedy club, like people in a comedy club. But no one would be like, oh, that guy's like, he wouldn't be like, I am pressing charges.

That should be more normalized. I think hecklers should stop taking the cerebral route and just resort to violence. Yeah. Or when they do crowd, comedians are always doing crowd work and dissing relationships and spouses. I'm pretty sure there's like five Japanese game shows

where they come up and slap you. Yeah, let's do that more often. How can you slap? How can you slap? How can you slap? I just said it. Whatever, Steven. I expected it from you.

All right, but... This is an oddly apolitical polarization. What do you mean? There doesn't seem to be any correlation with opinions on this matter. I think people are trying to make it political, strangely. I think both sides are taking both sides, is what I'm saying. I think it's the biggest cultural moment that's ever happened. And I'm not even kidding.

The biggest cultural moment. Yeah, what's very awkward is Judd Apatow's coming in in a minute. Oh, you're doing an interview with him? Yeah. In the office? Yeah, he said that Chris Rock could have died. He killed him.

Yeah, that was like his first, he tweeted he could have died, period. He could have died. Open hand slap. It's happened. I love the whole thing. Oh, you always hand slap. It was... It's happened. I love the... Oh, you always hear stories. One punch and after like a bar...

Could have died. And then the man died. There was a woman who tweeted, what if Lena Dunham had made the joke and Will Smith had come up and slapped Lena Dunham? It would have been very... Everyone would have had a different reaction. It's like, yes...

What if his hands were guns? Yeah, you are correct. If everything about it was different, we would react differently. Lena Dunham exploded like a burrata cheese. What if Will Smith had taken out AK-47 and shot the whole place up? Would you guys think it was cool then? Yeah, where does it stop? I don't know.

I'm just excited for all the fresh takes. Yeah, a lot of fresh. Although, the takes got bad after about 20 minutes of Mac. I don't know I'm just excited for all the fresh takes yeah a lot of fresh well although the the takes got like bad after about 20 minutes of Mac people were just

it's like joke joke joke joke joke this is this is true toxic masculinity is Judd Apatow coming for real yeah that's awesome yeah he's been cancelled bro

can we make this I want to make this more political though can the Yak account just like take the screenshot of Will Smith slapping, put, like, Democrats on one and Republicans on the other? Let's be real blatant. COVID. COVID and hitting, like... Not COVID.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But which is slapping which, though? I think we tweet them just both out. Just back to back. Shaka just says, not COVID COVID and then Will Smith says COVID. Not COVID and COVID and COVID and not COVID.

That's good. Yeah. People did Numbies off of it last night. I can't think of a more, I mean, maybe I'm being a prisoner of the moment, but I can't think of a more culturally juicy moment that happened like live. Kobe's death. Janet Jackson's titty was, if we had Twitter back then, would have done the same thing.

Yeah, that one was pretty crazy. Confrontation is bigger, though. This is so far ahead of that. Fights are bigger than titties? He walked up. I think in that moment it was pre-social media, so it was probably bigger. I guess you're right because there was a titty last night

and nobody noticed. There was a titty last night? You noticed. Williams' titty. This is Will Smith. Which Williams? Venus Williams' titty was out. It was a Venusitty last night and nobody noticed. There was a titty last night? You noticed. Williams' titty. This is Will Smith. Which Williams? Venus Williams' titty was out. It was a Venus Williams, and nobody told me about this?

Look at Stephen Chay's face. You don't know about Venus' titty? She's like, oh. What? Dude. What the fuck? When? Was it early in the show?

Oh, it was during the speech. It was right after. Wait, for real? They kept on chopping back and forth. I don't even sexualize Venus Williams, but I know if I had 10 seconds with her, I'm getting four laughs out of her. You don't sexualize her? That's a high.

She's hotter than Serena now. Venus has surpassed. I thought last night she surpassed. I don't judge them by that. I judge them by Grand Slams. I judge them by their heavies. That look Stephen Chay just had was great. He was just like, oh, I should. Well, I thought to myself.

I jerked off to a Macy's magazine last night and I could have had this. Could you five for five for five Venus Williams? No. You couldn't five for five for five her? No. Too athletic? She's too athletic. Her heart rate is too good.

That's five for five for five. That's the thing where I can make a woman come five times in five minutes with five different body parts, excluding my penis. Not Venus, though. I'm going to have to use my penis. What's the barrier? A simple exhale on the clitoral hood. Yeah, but that doesn't count.

Is that a body part? Or is your breath a body part? I brought a woman to completion with a good pun. What was it? I don't want to have to clean up this room. Y'all busted. Nick, where have you been? That's a good question.

That is a great question. You'll at least be here for a while, though, right? The traveling's over. You're going to be... No, next week I'm gone for a month. What? Where have you been? Did you actually go to Ghana?

No, I went to Miami to meet the Ghanan. So you didn't go to Ghana? No, no, no, no. I didn't get my shots. I couldn't get them in time. Got it. So I went to Miami to meet the Ghanan. So you didn't go to Ghana? No, no, no, no. I didn't get my shots. I couldn't get them in time. Got it. So I went to Miami. Didn't you do blackface, but only for like a minute?

Ghanan, 60 seconds. 60 seconds. God damn it. Jesus Christ. I was looking for it. Off the dome, dude. I'm fucking, this is, I'm usually bad on Monday. Yeah.

Did you take some fucking alpha brain or something like that? Are you hydrated? Did you get nine hours of sleep? What's good, I'm usually bad on Monday. Yeah. Did you take some fucking Alphabrain or something like that? Are you hydrated? Did you get nine hours of sleep? What's good, KB? Oh, fuck. No, I was doing this thing. Roan had to do one in San Diego, but they were like, Roan's really busy, so he only has to go for a day.

They're like, Nick, we're sending you to Florida for a week. What were you doing? Working in this guy's corner, his training regimen. You spent like a week with him, but not a single conversation was had, which is almost poetic. I didn't speak a lick of English. But you'd think he'd bring a translator, but he didn't. Oh. You'd think he'd bring people.

He didn't. It was just me and him. That's awesome. So the video's going to be great? Dunno. Dunno. It will be. He spent some time in his apartment.

He was like, yeah, bring swim trunks. That's what I thought he was saying. We'll chill in the hot tub. He calls his bathtub a hot tub. So we were just in his bathtub just inside in Florida. Was it hot? Was the water hot? No.

Oh, damn. No, it was like lukewarm. That could have been at least a loophole. Yeah, but it was good. And then we went back to Wheeling to do a video with Paul Bissonette. How was that? It was awesome. Yeah.

His return, he got his number retired? They gave him the key to the city. Wow. The place he played for eight months. It was one of my favorite nights in a while. So he can open up your parents' house? Yes. That's the thing.

Hang out with your straight dad. He's never home. I don't know. Must work his ass off. Yeah, it was a busy two weeks glad to be back are you actually going to be around for a while or are you actually going away for a month and a week

next week I was supposed to go somewhere but I think I'm weaseling my way out of it oh good and then the week after I think Kyle and I have to do there's like are you not dedicated to the Yak or what, dude? It seems like you're like. It's like 8X now.

Next week we have the case race. I'll be here. Friday. I'll be here. Never miss that. You got to make the rules for that. I'll be here. What if Sass isn't here?

We're still doing it, right? Oh, yeah. That would be. So, fill me in. Fill me in. His presence is arbitrary. Does he have a mental breakdown? Yeah, he's got.

Brandon's moving back to Mississippi. Okay. Sass is having a mental he have a mental breakdown? Yeah, he's got a mental breakdown. Brandon's moving back to Mississippi. Okay. Cass is having a mental breakdown. You guys didn't believe that Brandon's going to be my roommate. He's not. He's not. He is. I just bought a sleeper couch.

He's buying it. I'm putting it in. And yeah, we're roommates when he comes back. Murphy bed? I bought it. I didn't believe. None of you believe me. I bought a tent.

Yes. From Cabela's. What? My apartment. Good deal. You must get so much pussy. I missed out on a whole lot. My apartment is going to be a beanbag and a tent.

Can you fit the surface area of my living room? I'm not going to do that. You put sand on the floor or like wood chips on the floor. Yeah. Like a playground. A fire pit. How is that a thing like wood chips on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Like a playground. Softener falls. How is that a thing? Wood chips.

I know. All from this jungle gym. You'll just land on a. Yeah. But it works though. Hard chips. It does work. Yeah.

Then they obviously they came technology got better and now it's like that rubber. That rubber. But now that gives you like cancer, right? Does it? A little. I think so. Just a tiny bit of cancer. It's a little.

A touch of cancer? Yeah, and it's the same as the rubber on turf, and that gives you cancer. It's a little. Oh, shit. I think you're making this up. I don't think turf gives you cancer. Yeah, turf rubber gives you cancer. I thought it gave you concussions.

No, no, the rubber on the turf is like it's carcinogen. There's some lawsuits going on. Should all fields be grass? I'm just trying to kill football players. You think it should all be grass? Wasn't that at the end of last season? They were like, there's no excuse for turf fields anymore. I think we should all have grass.

I'd rather have cancer than be itchy. Yeah. I'm allergic. You say that as a joke, but yes. She sucks. Incessantly itchy. She's the worst. Grass is one of the itchiest things, too.

You sit cross-legged in some grass. Oh, man. Done for the day. I like football field grass, though. Football field grass is good. Freshly shorn? Then it gets on everything. Then it's like all the way halfway up your leg. Oh, they empty it.

You're not getting grass clippings on yourself in your own football field. A little. We should do make-a-wishes for itchy people. They deserve it. Yeah, that's what we should start doing as the yak. I had a poison ivy era when I just got horrible poison ivy like once every three months. I got sumac around the rim of my butthole. Damn.

What is sumac? Poison sumac? It's the pussiest of the ivy. It goes ivy oak. Were you wiping your ass with it? It goes ivy oak sumac. Huh? Were you wiping your ass with it? No, I think I just sat down of the Ivy. It was Ivy Oak. Were you wiping your ass with it? It was Ivy Oak sumac. Mm-hmm. Huh? Were you wiping your ass with it?

No, I think I just sat down in the woods where we were building some sort of fort. I got scabies in between my fingers, and that was worse than... Scabies is the worst. Virginia sounds awful. Fingers are the worst place to get it. Have you guys seen each other for a while?

Yeah, he was in Wheeling. Oh, okay. They're whirring back and forth. I mean, I'm happy to see this is good, but it definitely has the energy that you guys haven't seen each other in a long time. I got scabies my first night of college. Go on.

I woke up the next day. My parents dropped me off. I was still emotional. Itchy. Scabies. First day. It was for my boy Cleveland. You got a whooping cough.

You got whooping cough? Oh, I did. I got prescribed. I got at Scabies. I think it was in grad school and I was working at Jimmy John's and I was in Jimmy John's with Scabies doing the dishes. Oh, yeah. You get scabies. Everybody ordering their beach club was getting it.

That's gross. That's gross, KB. I would purposely take orders, delivery orders, from someone I knew was out of the boundary. They'd order, like, a gargantuan, and I would drive halfway there, and I'd have to break the news that I can't. A scabied guy.

I get to eat the fucking... You get to eat the fucking gargantuan. The little scabies fingers. What a racket that is. It's genius. It's only, like, a mile radius. Really's genius. It's only like a mile radius. Really? Oh, it's freaky fast.

Yep. So you drive four, or that's like two minutes of driving, and you call them up. Sorry. Going to have to abort this mission. I got bees. Today's a big day for KB. Why? It's the anniversary of his last Instagram post.

Oh, scabie no swag. So TJ, is it not a big day for me? Scab? It's the anniversary of his last Instagram post. Oh, it's KB no swag. So TJ, is it not a big day for me? KB no swag. It's not that narrow. Oh, shit. And Kyle, did you pay money to boost this? To boost the numbers on this? I had to pay to boost it myself. It's pending. Wait, what's that comment right there? Yeah, like that.

What's that say? Gay. Like, that drives me insane. Why? It's just like, if it was, if anything about the picture was gay, then maybe. You and the other dude are in it. Yeah. Two dicks and one chick don't mix, bro. Well, I'm not a cycloxer. Who posted that?

Who commented that? I'm just a product. Let's click him. Oh, he is just a product. Oh, he's straight. There's nothing you could do. Art. Yeah, there's nothing you could do. Yeah, you're right.

Forget it. Forget it. Yeah, it's over. Get it. I get it. So you're gay. Whatever. Official.

What else have I missed? Brandon. Did you marry Brandon? Yeah, kind of. What did you miss? Nothing. It was not much. Hoops.

Yeah. Hoops. Come on, guys. Patrick Texas came in. Oh. Yeah, Patrick Texas came in. Did you see him vehemently defending, like, Zack Snyder's cut of Justice League on Twitter last night?

I like the way you said that word. I don't. That whole sentence made no sense to me. Vehemently? Yeah. Zack Snyder's cut of Justice League on Twitter last night. I like the way you said that word. I don't, that whole sentence made no sense to me. Vehemently? Yeah. Zack Snyder? Yeah. Justice League?

Come on. I didn't see that. That just caught me off guard. What, explain what? People were clowning the Justice League. It was like, don't say that to my fucking face. Don't say that shit about Justice League. Who's cut?

Snyder. Zack Snyder. He just wasn't. We're not down with Zack Snyder? I don't know. No, bro. Chill, bro. No, bro. Snyder Snyder just wasn't you don't we're not down with Jack Snyder I don't know no Jack chill bro Snyder all day he was going crazy for for Snyder I think that emoji fits Jersey Jerry would like a Dan Snyder cut hello firing on all cylinders on a Monday oh Stephen Shea came back to life

Tom Brady that whole thing we have full blown cocky Che and you did miss the Malasek thing the cuckold Malasek being a cuckold NYC Twitter that guy sucks you can write a

letter if you'd like well he said i'm gonna kill myself if people keep talking about me on the internet and then he asked to come on the yak oh okay an internet show so this is the only place this is hosted how is the slap wheel gonna work are we is it gonna be two two wheels well i we can discuss it so i was Everything on one wheel maybe? Like this person slaps and this person receives slap? Well, so here's – I had two ideas off the top of my head. One was it's a slap wheel to decide a bracket, and then the bracket is flip a coin.

If you lose, you get slapped, and the other guy goes on. I like that. Or – I like a bracket. That's a lot of slaps. Bracket's I like a bracket. That's a lot of slaps. Bracket's fun. You know, it's a lot of slaps. Can the slappy ever win the slap?

What do you mean? I think the slappy. And the person who gets slapped, could they ever get slapped so well that they move on in the bracket? I think once you've been slapped, though, I'm not sure you want to move on. Let's just get some ground rules. We've got to all sign this, and also, it's a gentleman's slap.'s slap it's not it's a hard slap but it's not the hardest slap we're not playing the knockout game correct we are playing but it's not hey b you hear that like watch this

okay so it's not this it's not this it's like yeah like that and it's not like all the way. It's a six to seven slap. Hear me out. Unless you want to. Yeah, you can. I don't think it should be 100% improvised. What do you mean? I think the slappy should take the podium and start, you know, forced to roast the slapper. But the slap to come from a place of rage.

And then the slapper has to get up on his own accord during that and slap him. I wouldn't just want to slap one of you guys just to slap. I would want you guys to start talking shit. I'd like to just slap. I want you guys to... Okay. We could add an element of talking shit.

I'm with Kyle. I'd like to be roasted before I slap. Okay. Can we add in an element of... Can we add in an element of surprise maybe and do like an egg bowl type thing where someone gets a slap and they can hold it to a later date.

I'd like to do all slaps right now. All slaps are right now. Today is the day. Striking while the iron's hot. I'm signing. I will also be signing. We need to read this. Can you spin the regular wheel just to get that out of the way? Because we are...

A wet slap. We haven't had a wet wheel. So we've had like two Lomo's days. The wheels aren't looking great. I missed two Lomo's days. Do I get those? This is how low we're at. We need a wheel reset badly.

Oh, I'll be so pissed off. Yeah. Wet slaps today? Wet slaps. That would hurt so bad. Okay. Go ahead. Spin it.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is it Lomo again? Lomo. Lomo. Lomo. Lomo.

Lomo. Lomo. Lomo. I almost don't want the Lomo either. No, I eat Lomo every day. All right. We live to see another day. Boy, those pieces are getting big.

Yep. Whoa. Yeah, I know. We got all kinds of new crap. Oh, do you have the new deciding thing? No, those pussies at Marbles on Stream didn't make the game for Mac, so we can't play it. Fuck. How long did it take you to do that?

This is 100% real. I had to sign three times, and then I had to date it. Okay, Will Smith was the gentleman in the concussion film. Yes. About the NFL CTE epidemic. Just if you didn't know. Will Smith is also a player on the Saints. This is great.

And the Dodgers, right? Ohio State. Is that Will Smith dead? That Will Smith is dead. Okay. I think. This is great. And the Dodgers, right? I'm a high off state. Should we read this? Is that Will Smith dead? That Will Smith is dead. Okay. I think. You read this.

This is a legal doctrine. A real legal doctrine. I feel like this is a prank. You want to read it like a creed? We got our lawyer to write this up. This is wordy. Go ahead, Nick. Is the lawyer in the building?

I don't know if he's here remote today. I can ask him. Do you want him to come down? Yes. We probably need to talk to the lawyer in the building i don't know if he's here remote today i can ask him do you want him to come down yes we probably need to talk to the lawyer i'd like him to participate in the slap wheel i'll ask him it's like how can he how can he write this without knowing how hard how can you write how could you write this i gave him i summed it up for him i legitimately thought this was a creed that you were all right right, well, go ahead. Read it. Word number five is misspelled. I, print name, where we sign, parentheses, quote, unquote, potential slappy, have requested and voluntarily agreed to play, quote, unquote, slap wheel on the yak today, March 28th, and any time moving forward. Whoa.

Whoa. Wait a second. I'm not signing up for that. We need to get him down here. Who wrote this? That's a mistake. What's the lawyer's name? We just signed away our life for the slap week.

I've already signed the fucking thing. I asked for that. What's his name? Paul Anderson. Why did you ask for that? That's not a good lawyer name. Isn't that one of the guys from fucking... That's the Matrix.

That's the Matrix. Paul Thomas Anderson? Oh, yeah, that's from American Psycho, right? Who crests a more Jewish... Licorice pizza. You think we could get a... Yeah. A burger, a Stein...

I want it. Even a cone. It's like a German bar. All right. Surrounded by Steins. Today, March 28th, and any time moving forward, which means that I may be slapped

by, parentheses, or asked to slap another member of the Yak based on the rules of the quote-unquote slap wheel game. I agree that I'm a consenting adult, and like Chris Rock, I will not take any action.

This isn't real. Not real. Parentheses, whether physical, verbal, legal, or otherwise against Barstool Sports Inc., or any individual based on the results of the slap wheel. Unlike Will Smith, I hereby agree that if I am to deliver a slap to any other voluntary participant in the slap wheel, I will use minimal effort slash strength in doing so. No, I'm not using minimal effort.

Parentheses, I promise not to slap hard. You can't use your upper arm. I really think that it's more hand than forearm and more hand forearm than upper arm. Like, it's not a lot of upper arm. And understand that this game is intended for fun. What fun? For the audience.

Yeah. And not to cause anyone pain or harm. Can we tweet out this document so if people want to play at home, they can do it too? Yes. Print it out. I understand that my participation in the quote-unquote slap wheel is entirely voluntary and not in any way expected

or required as part of my work-related duties for Barstool, meaning that I can stop or decide not to participate at any time without retaliation. You hear that, boys? We can pussy out, and you're not allowed to do anything. What if someone gets slapped if they pussy out? If you pussy out, and you're not allowed to do anything. Can we get slapped? What if someone gets slapped if they pussy out? That's what that's the one rule.

We should add that amendment. If you pussy out, you get a slap. You get a slap. Old. I recognize that there are risks of injury if I participate in the quote-unquote slap wheel. You could get killed. You could be killed. I don't like the quotes around slap wheel.

It's pretty literal. It is exactly what it is. Exactly what it is. I understand that Barstool does not require or encourage me to participate in any dangerous activities that may be associated with this and agree that I'm participating voluntarily and can end my participation in this activity at any time. I'm at least 18 years old, have read this acknowledgement with the opportunity to consult counsel, and I'm signing below to indicate my full understanding and agreement to anything in it. All right. Can I call my attorney?

Yeah. He's all of our attorneys, I think, right? This is my... We have a private attorney. Counsel can review... Chris Rock was in the longest yard. Are you guys chai? Okay.

Get me right for slapping? Oh, look at you. Can I do a test slap? Maybe, Owen, you could slap me just to kind of set a baseline for what the slap would look like. You could set a baseline. I'd rather be slapped. Go ahead and slap me in the face, brother. I'm about to get slapped in the face.

Can I send you over this document? You're my counsel. I don't know if I've ever been. I've been slapped. I'm about to get slapped in the face. Can I send you over this document? You're my counsel. I don't know if I've ever been. I'm not first slapped. No chance. Who was that? That was my attorney. I'm going to call mine.

I don't want to start talking about your wife. Don't slap me. I don't need the verbal. I just want to. I don't want to slap you. My attorney's not Jewish, but his name's Stinky Tony, so that's pretty good. Fuck, Tony. Yeah.

Call my attorney real quick. I'll slap. All right, I'm calling my attorney. You slap me too? Do you guys all really have attorneys? You'll slap me too? Yes. Steven?

Yes. We're in show business. Marlon's man. What's up? It's Big Cat. Hey, Dan. How you doing? I'm good.

I got this document I'm about to sign, and you're my attorney, so can I send it over to you? It's about a slap wheel. We're going to about slap each other. Is that? Yeah, that's fine. Okay. All right. You're good.

You're good. Okay. How was Elite Eight? How was Elite Eight? It was great. It was really Eight? How was Elite Eight? It was great. It was really, what's the word? It was exciting for two halves, and both halves were kind of boring. They get both games, second halves.

Are you going to be in New Orleans? Only for Monday night game. I'm going to the Florida Derby on Saturday. I can't make the games in New Orleans on time. All right, so hit up Hank. We'll be in New Orleans for the whole weekend. So we'll maybe meet up with you on Monday. I can't make the games in New Orleans on time. Alright, so hit up Hank. We'll be in New Orleans for the whole weekend, so we'll maybe meet up with you on Monday. Is Hank no longer with Rita?

Yes, that is unfortunately. Well, I'm sad about that because I liked him and her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I will. I will. And we'll see you on Monday. Hit up Hank and we'll meet up. Yes, I'm okay with anything you ever do. All right.

You're good guys. All right, great. Thank you. Bye. All right, bye. All right, Pete, Hank, and Rita. Yeah. So he said it was cool.

That sounds like the worst drink ever, a Hank-a-Rita. Oh, yeah. Looks like I'm good. Yeah, you're good. Do you want to go tell Hank that? He told me to. I'll tell him after. Fuck, I think we have to tell him now. How about a baseline? You want me to go tell Hank that? He asked you to tell him? I'll tell him after. Fuck, I think we have to tell him now.

How about a baseline? You want me to just grab Hank? What? Has everyone signed? I'm waiting for... Who's playing in the booth? Where's my pen? I do need a pen.

He's a pen. DJ and Steven, okay. Keen. I need a waiver. Okay, you need a waiver. There's six of us, eight of us. Perfect for a bracket. You want to do the bracket? You're not signing? You want to do bracket? I need a waiver. There's six of us, eight of us. Perfect for a bracket. You want to do the bracket?

You're not signing? You want to do bracket? I think a bracket. How do we figure out seating? Wheel. Or no. Wheel for seating? The wheel.

Yeah. If it's a bracket, it's not really a slap wheel. No way, TJ. Watch. Did you get some sort of certificate when I was there? It has been going off lately. Owen, can you use the whiteboard? Maybe make a bracket?

My penis has been there a while. Elite 8 bracket? Does anyone have a quarter? I got an eighth. Hello. Fuck yes. By the way, go to dudewipes.com. Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order.

If you're not wiping your butt with dude Wipes, you're a moron. Might as well not even fucking wipe. Slap you. Okay. Are we setting a baseline? Che, you look like the new Blue's Clues guy with that sweater on. You look like you could be the new Blue's Clues guy. Sweater looks like he's been sweating up near his collar, too.

That's just a darker tone. It just looks like sweat. He could do Blue's Clues guy. Sweater looks like he's been sweating up near his collar, too. That's just a darker tone. It just looks like sweat. He could do children's programming for sure. Yes. I have a friendly demeanor. Yeah. A kind nature. Yeah.

One of the kinder faces. Thank you. So it's an Elite Eight bracket. Now, do you get to... So if you win the coin flip, you slap, and then you're done, right? Yeah, you just get slapped and you're out. No, no, no. If you win.

Or do you win with a slap? Winner should be slapped the most. Should we do? Yeah, wait. It should be about getting slapped more. I didn't know we were going to get slapped multiple times. Hold on. Read the paper.

Should it be? So if we go heads and tails, so it's me and Roan, right? Yeah. Heads and tails. He calls tails. It's heads. I slap him. Do I advance or just roan advance you won right because you slam you would advance not gonna get slapped yeah uh my attorney has issue the degree of the slap is undefined

he wants to ensure that my white cheeks don't get harmed by big cat big cats ham hocks did you not hear Marlins, man? What did he say? He said, yeah, sounds good. I said, I got this legal document about slap. He was like, yeah. We need to get the degree of the slap defined. And look at it.

That's actually how I've done all my business with Marlins, man. He never looks at anything. Really? I just call him up and I'm like, hey, Marlins, man, I'm thinking about buying 100 acres in Montana. That cool? He's like, yep. And so far, so good.

What's that Rita up to? I think that was Marlins man trying to ask her out on it. Kat, can I just have your word? Certainly, he is DMing. I'm going to give a slap. I told you, it's going to be a six. It's going to be a six out of ten. But a six is various person to person.

Yes. That's why we should set a baseline. You're calloused as hell. Wait, is today a good show to get some women on the show? Yeah. That. It will be very important to see who loses first because that will be the tone setter. I've only been slapped by women now that I think about it.

Do you want to do the wheel for a tone setter? I've never been slapped by women now that I think about it. Do you want to do the wheel for a tone setter? I've never been slapped by a man. Nick, would that make you feel better? Why? A tone setter slap. But then I haven't signed the documents. You can't do a tone setting slap without... That would persuade you to sign the document.

You're seeing the slap. We have to leave the premises of the building so Barstool wouldn't be liable. And I'd have to be slapped by a stranger so I couldn't press charges. How about that guy? Yeah, Trent Brown. Okay. His whole hand would... Oh my God.

Don't do that. Well, he was looking like... Don't do that. It's too much. Monster. Nick, what do you want to do that. It's too much. Too much. Close, though. All right, so Nick, what do you want to do? You're holding this up.

My attorney watched. Can you slap your hand one more time? What is this? Acceptable. Okay, perfect. So Nick is signing. So how does the wheel work? So the idea is, yeah, you go, like, this would be the one seed,

two seed, three seed, four seed. So first to get selected is the one seed. How many people are doing this? All eight. Everyone's in. Wait, we have seven, you're saying? Eight. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. So Che and TJ are in. Yeah. So two 14 brackets. Right. And then we flip a coin. What's the coin for? That's to see who gets slapped.

Or we could just do the wheel for that. Yeah, why not just do a wheel? That's fine. That is flipping a coin. Yeah, that's true. Best of one on the wheel or best of three? I think best of one. Best of one. the wheel or best of three? Best of one. Maybe the finals we can do a best of seven really ended up.

Okay. So this is for seeding. We'll seed in numerical order. Is this an elimination wheel? It's a numerical order seeding. No, no, no. Is it an elimination wheel or just the first person is the one seed? Correct. Yes, exactly.

And then they're eliminated from the wheel. Yes. All right. Oh, this is going to be fun. Wow, Steven Chay just did a practice lap. What the fuck was that? I was not a slap. I just looked over.

Steven Chay went like this. Watch this. Like rubbing his shoulder. I looked over. He goes. Yeah. You just did a full windup. Honest to God, completely uncorrelated.

I just... You're just practicing slapping. I'm just practicing slapping. One day we do a slap wheel, you're just practicing. I've never once seen you do that. Shadow slapping? I was throwing punches. There was punches.

It wasn't a slap. You've never done that before? I'm standing up right now. I have to do something with my hands. Steve, I don't need that. You're always standing up. Slap wheel. I'm not. I'm just introducing Stephen's with my hands. Steve, I don't need to. You're always standing up. Slap wheel. I'm not.

I'm just introducing Stephen's shadow boxing in the corner. I don't like that. Not connected, though. Not connected. Totally uncorrelated. He's got to do something with his hands. All right, let's see the scene. Whoa.

I'm going to be top seeded like the Big Mac. Hello. So everyone's going to get slapped once except one person. Oh, seeded like the Big Mac. Hello. So everyone's going to get slapped once except one person. So the first. Not that bad. One, two, three, four. One person will not get slapped. Should two people get a bite of the semi?

No, no, no. All right. So if the first one is the one seed, is the next one the two seeds? So they won't match up. I said in numerical order. All right. So we're not going to have matchups until like the fifth wheel. Correct.

Okay. All right. But the fifth wheel. Correct. Okay. Alright. But the seeds are important though. Being top seeded is very valuable. Spin that bitch. Alright this is the number one seed. Rush rush get the yayo. Oh boy. Run fast get the yayo.

It's the number one seed. Thank you boys. Appreciate you guys. A lot of hard work, a lot of effort. Never was. I'm going to tweet out bracket announced. Single mom that works two jobs. Okay. This is exciting.

Who do you not want to be matched up against? I think Owen would hit the hardest. I think Brandon would hit the softest because he is technically on thin ice. I think Brandon would hit the hardest. I have signed this waiver. This waiver, I think, protects me as well as Barstool. Yeah, it does. There is a loophole in here that, like, even if you are hurt, you're, oh, fuck.

I need a new lawyer. Okay, next up. Is that Tony? Stinky Tony. Oh, dude. I'm leaning on Stinky Tony. You want my guy? Marlins man?

Yeah. What's his fragrance? He's got these cats. Because when you're in the courtroom, having a stinky attorney... Yeah. You want to get out. Mm-hmm. Stinky Tony. I assume we were all covered by the Marlins man call. Yeah, you're in the courtroom having a stinky attorney, you want to get out.

I assume we were all covered by the Marlins man call. Yeah, we're good. He actually texted me just now. He said something about Rita. This will confirm at any time you can use my likeness or image or name Marlins man for anything you do, good or bad. I believe in you, your team, what you do and wish you all much success. See you all

soon, Lawrence Lee. That's the worst attorney ever. He just gave me carte blanche to his entire life. That's incredible. Say something just fucked up right now about him. Book a hotel or something. I would never. Okay. Two seed.

Two seed. Who's the two seed in the East bracket, East region? Brandon. Brandon. Brandon, only way we can meet some finals, brother. See you there, brother. Wow. It would suck if it was chalk. Worst fucking tournament ever if it was chalk.

We gotta give people a chance to fill out their bracket. Oh yeah, perfect bracket. Perfect bracket gets slapped. Actually, yeah, if we want to take a little break, I have a gift for you guys. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay, let's keep going, and then we'll tweet out the bracket so people have a chance. Oh, my God, the suspense. Nicky. Makes sense. Nick. Nick's on Brandon's side. That could be fucking detrimental for their relationship. That could be fucking Intramental for their relationship

That could be bad For the bromance Last home team So the higher seed gets to flip Or does it get to call Or it's just heads and Yeah the higher seed gets to call The higher seed gets to call

Is it heads and tails Or is it just the two names Why don't we just say higher seed Oh yeah yeah yeah Lower seed is tails No no I forgot we're doing the wheel. It's just two names. Can we make the higher seed

like 55% of the wheel? Oh, yeah. That's what we should do. That should be how the seeding works. One gets one, two gets two, three gets three. No, no. I earned that, dude.

Oh, man. The one seed should get like 80%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 70-30, 80-20. Jesus Christ. No, that's not for seeding. Yeah, actually. Oh, no.

Flip those two at the bottom, though. Flip those two at the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A single mom that works her job. Damn, why'd I say that? That means everyone has an 80% chance of getting the slapper. Yes. No, this is fine.

Should we add a play-in game and at large, and we'll just get large and slap them? Yeah, get an outlet. It'd be a pigtail round. Okay, that was stupid of me. So how's it work in the second round? No, you got to flip those around. Flip the numbers.

I should be 60-40. Yeah. Well, no, it matters, buddy. How? No, no. No. No, no, no, because it's four and the five are on the same side. Four and five got to be over there.

Yeah, you got to switch your numbers. Are you, like, proud of the way you made those? What are you doing? You erased the odds. You got to erase the odds. The odds are the problem. Not those. I just flipped the odds for you.

I had 50-50. Uh-uh. No, you did. No, you wrote them exactly the same. Oh, and then I flipped them, didn't I? You wrote them exactly the same. No, you did the exact same thing. It's fine. KB, you pissed, KB? No, not did the exact same thing. It's fine.

KB, you pissed, KB? No, not at Owen. Can I just say, listen, I'm a big proponent of mental health. Yeah. Thank God Sass isn't here. Yeah. This would never have happened. Yeah.

It's good that he's out. I hope he gets back soon. I miss him. He's a very important part of the show, but Slap Wheel was not a bad day for him to miss. No, it's not a sass episode. It's not. I think you can silence some haters.

Dude, you said he's so much harder. He did it remotely. All right, here we go. Is the second round 50-50? I think it should be. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you advance, it's 50-50.

I think it becomes 50-50. I think it's just for the first round matchups. All right, this is for the four seed, and then the four and five, so the next two. No home field advantage for this one, really. But you don't lose anything. Come on. Four seed. Big slap.

Shouldn't that be like 55, 45? It should be 55, 45. It should be some advantage. That just doesn't make much sense to me. Versus whom, though? Now we find out a matchup. Yeah, now this is the first matchup. So this is who I'm going up against.

Do you not want to slap out of that group? I want to go up against Che. Che Cat. Oh, that would be an incredible first round. I want Che. I want to slap Che. You should rip the document right before you do it. Oh, man.

All right. Come on. Ah. Owen. Good boy. A real 1960s kitchen color palette on the wheel. Damn. All right, Owen.

Me and you. Uh the wheel. Damn. All right, Owen. Me and you, buddy. Uh-oh. Hello. And this is for the sixth seed. Have me slap Kyle. Oh, my God. TJ, Nick and TJ. So this is for Brandon.

I would love to see a Brandon and Che match up. As a racist, Brandon has been wanting to do this for a long time. I'm speaking for you. Che, did you get that money? You text me every day. Not true, but yes I did.

Che and Brandon. Oh no, he's getting the Roan slap. AB and Roan. Ups He's getting the row and slap. A, B, and row. What the fuck? What? Upsets happen. In the eighth seed? Upsets happen.

The octo, mom. Thank God. Eighth seed. Upsets happen. Oh, there's Frank. Upsets happen. So it's going to be one spin. I think you got to slap.

Where should we slap? It'll cube. Ace. Right there. That's like a perfect slapping cube. That's where everything happens. It is, but we also need to have someone hold the mic underneath the slap. You sit on it like a bitch.

No, no, stand, stand, stand, stand, stand. Come on. Can we move the cube? You've got to be able to play it. Let me get a picture of the bracket so people can fill out your brackets. Owen, you're having a good day. He wasn't. Look at my matchup.

Look at me. Brandon, Brandon. I'm looking for stuff, baby. I forgot about gifts. Just one of those days. I don't want to wake up. Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks.

Asian Brandon. I sing a song that works two dogs. You gotta be strong. You gotta be wise. You gotta be stronger. But that type of shit. It's Desiree. Got to be bad. The things about you. It's Desiree We should fill out

Everyone should fill out their bracket I'm going chalk You already know what the fuck it is I'm going Roan Asian Brandon. Why do you think Asian Brandon is going to beat Brandon? I just have a feeling.

Beat. He's literally going to beat him. You versus Che, that's just a strictly luck battle. I don't mind. Che's got more luck in his life than you. That's a fact, wouldn't you say? Doing okay. No, you're doing fine. That's a fact, wouldn't you say? Doing okay. No, you're doing fine, but I'm saying-

You're a hard work, though, Brandon. You're a product of picking yourself up by your bootstraps. Yeah, like on a pure content luck, like what would be funnier? Like you will always lose. All right, you know what? Versus Che. Right. That's just, that's in the signs.

You're right. I have an Asian Brandon, brand on, Uniqlo. Ooh, nice. I brought you guys a gift. Oh, yeah, let me see it. These are condoms from Italy. Are these the denims? Are they prosciutto?

They're jeans. I don't know what Durex jeans are. Uh-huh. So we're going to have Brandon put one of these on his cock. Okay. We're going to see what happens. Oh, look. Slap someone.

I don't know what that could even possibly be. My boy Maresh gave these to me. I know. IBM. What out? No, no, it's a gift. I'm not going to open your gift. What the hell, Brandon?

I was just giving them to McCann. I was giving them to the room. I'm just curious to what a jeans condom is. If it's actually denim, it would be incredible. I'd imagine that would feel good in a pussy. Yeah. It's probably like that sensation. It's fucking hard to open, bro.

Here we go. Don't act like you've never done that. What about them? Jeans, condoms? Is it like thicker so you can put it in your... My priest used true religion. That's just a condom. That's just a condom. That's just a condom.

Pretty lubed. Oh, yeah. Where's the gene? Is it so you could like... What's the gene part of it? I think there's someone's genes on that. I'm kind of disappointed. Yeah, that's a big disappointment.

I don't like the smell of condoms. Large, easy on. We know. What else? disappointed. Yeah, that's a big disappointment. I don't like the smell of condoms. Large, easy on. We know. What else? Can we translate it? Forma easy. Un conservatio. Por maggiori informazioni,

visita il sito... But I can't even begin to imagine what jeans condoms are. They're not a thing. Well, I mean, yeah, thanks. All right, should we go? Did people fill out their brackets? Let's pull up Twitter and see what we probably all submitted.

An award for a perfect bracket? Yeah, well, we should all. Do we have a pen? If somebody has a perfect bracket. It has to be time stamped. Yes, you're hired. There's pretty good chances of a perfect bracket? Yeah, well, we should all... Do we have a pen? If somebody has a perfect bracket... It has to be time-stamped. Yes, you're hired. There's pretty good chances of a perfect bracket. No, like one in... No, because I... A thousand

something. Yeah, it's a little too low. We will check all brackets, have brackets submitted. You have to tweet them at BarstoolYak. If you get a perfect bracket, we will give you the remaining five jeans condoms. Mm-hmm. But you have to send us a video of you using it anyway. Mm-hmm.

And they will be pre-filled. They would be one in 512. 512? Okay, so that's pretty good chances. Yep. Well, like all of our, yeah, 1,000. Plus it's weighted. I mean, it's not like all things aren't equal.

Like, there's a higher chance that I'll succeed in the first round, which probably cuts down on those chances. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. And Championship Brown. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, Championship Brown. Oh, that's chalk.

That is chalk. All right. Huh. It's... No, wait. No, that's not. That has Nick winning it all. Okay, that's cock.

It has Nick winning it all. I do have a red penis as of late. Oh, man. Oh, no. That's fucking hilarious. Okay, so a championship round. I think we go one spin for the first round, three spins for the second round,, seven spins for the last round.

All right. One spin, first round. One spin, let's do it. An 80% Roan, 20% KB. And then make sure that the person who gets slapped has to hold the microphone right underneath their chin. The name that gets chosen is the slapper. Correct.

All right. E. Er slapper. Correct. Err. Err. With a hard... Do we have to hold hands and then slap? Holding hands or where does the person's hands go? On the thing behind their back? They hold the mic right underneath. They hold that mic, the stick mic,

right underneath their chin like this. Boom, slap. And we're aiming for... Yeah, flex. I aim high. That jaw's fucked. Oh, your palm is gonna be... I'm gonna actually say, real quick prediction, you're fucked, Brandon, now that I'm thinking about it. Why am I fucked? Stephen Chain's gonna... I saw that punch that he threw. He's gonna punch.

He was throwing his hips into it. No punch. He doesn't understand this comment. He's bobbing and weaving. Can I get a hand size check on you? I've never seen Stephen Chibnick. Like a palm ball. I've never seen you shadow box. Then slap wheel day, you're shadow boxing? I'm standing today.

Can you run in here real quick? I'd like to do a hand check with you. The size of the hand doesn't matter. Oh, no, no, no. Let's wait for the matchup. I want to see his hand. Wait for the matchup. All right, let's do it.

Roan KB. This is exciting. Oh, no. Oh, this doesn't look good. Hey, you got to give KB a chance on either side, right? No, I don't think it works. I don't like mine being adjacent. Yeah, you want to give him a chance on either side?

Yes, please. This doesn't change the odds at all. Not even a little bit. Oh, it does. KB knows. I think it does. I'm knows. I think it does. I'm right. It does in my head.

Okay, here we go. I'm going to piss myself. How many does he have to get? Just the first one? One. Slapper. Oh, no. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Oh. A miracle. Oh. You want to see Cavaliers? Holy shit. Oh my God. It is broken. Holy shit. Rusted.

This is March. Oh my God. He was looking ahead. Holy shit. What an upset. He was looking ahead. He broke the cube. Oh my god he was looking ahead Holy shit what an upset He was looking ahead He broke the cube He broke the cube

Oh my god Kobe Wanted to celebrate on the table We need a coaching change Holy shit We gotta do some like How unlikely was this upset I think it's just 1 in 5

Kind of a 1 in 5 Based on how much they spend How unlikely was this upset? I think it's just one in five. Kind of a one in five. Based on how much they spend. Yeah, show a picture of KB's gym versus my gym. Oh, my God. That was thrilling. Holy shit. Well, Bauer, let's do it. I'm going for my slap.

Wow. I was good when we set the baseline. Ron's been wanting to be slapped for a while. He always says slap. What an upset. I'm shocked. Incredible upset. I always put a good condom on his head. Oh, no.

You're getting jeaned. You're getting jeaned. Oh, no. How many cameras do we have? Wait, is that the rule? You have to break the condom? That's what the slap has to break the condom. This condom's doing well.

It's for Italian big old fat Mediterranean cocks. Can I just say that I deserve this for... All right, I'm off. I'm off the hook. I'm off the hook. The condom broke. What were you going to say? You didn't deserve this?

No, I've deserved this for a long time. I've deserved this for a long time. KB, you realize this is the tone setter. This is setting everything up. I don't know. For the entire competition. This is going to be the worst one. If you go too hard, we're all fucked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's go six. Six out of ten. Tell him to remember the cactus. He did throw a cactus at you. Stand right across the table from him. I don't know if he can reach him.

All right. You can't move your face. You can't move your face. If you move your face, you have to get slapped again. Are you going to line it up? Wait. You should line it up. Why are you putting your hips into it, dude?

Calm your hips down. You can't put your hips into it. Stop trying to put your hips into it. Someone hold his hips. I'll hold his hips. Can someone please hold his hips? And if he rotates them at all, I can just slap him. You still advance.

Okay. You can't rotate your hips. He's going to slap the fuck out of me. All right. Line it up. Line it up. Line it up. Like you're golfing. That was a bitch hit.

That was a bitch hit. Oh, fingers. You got to go palm. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Slap me. You came from too far away.

You came from too far away. Get closer. Well, I was just a jaw shot. I want like... want, like... Yeah, like a hit. I don't... Yeah, I'd never... Well, he has second round over Demos.

I've never slapped before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How can he slap? How can he slap? I think he can get better than this, yeah. What a fucking upset, though. All right. How did that happen?

Were you distracted, Roan? All right, this is my most anticipated matchup. It was a look-ahead spot. I was just like Big Cat Owen. Yeah. Does it go two seed first? Yeah, Brandon, Asian Brandon. Oh, man.

What's the odds split? 70-30. Oh, look, look, look. I have a little. I have seven. Look at my face in the. Okay, yeah, it wasn't completely bitchy. You are red.

Like, I'm red. Yeah, it was tough to do the first one. It wasn't a slap. The first one was very fingery. We should have had a baseline set. I was asking. You can hit me as hard as you would like. Okay.

TJ, I want you to knock my tooth out. You know which tooth. Oh. See, Rowan, you got lucky. Now people are going to be afraid to look like pussies. You guys. No, going first is impossible. Dude, that was a bitch. Because if you slap them hard, you got lucky. Now people are going to be afraid to look like pussies. You guys. No, going first is impossible. Because if you slap them hard, you're just an asshole.

I mean, the second one was a hard. It was like a jaw. Yeah, I'm happy with that. I'm not. Is there a replay of it? No regrets. No regrets. Steven, would you like to have.

You left him flush. That's all you need. Would you like to have him moved around? By the way, KB, we were vindicated, you and I, for having that moved around. Yeah, it worked. Yeah, it worked. Yeah. No, that was the side it was going to be on.

If we didn't... You fucking idiots thought that... That was the one that didn't move. Yeah. Oh, no. Looks like a beach ball. Looks like a pokey ball. Oh, man.

No, it doesn't. If anything, great balls are blue, but it's not even close. Huge matchup. I love this matchup. I need a replay of that slap. Not the first one. No. No way.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay, okay. That better be an eye-opener for you. Come on, Brandon. Did he move his hips, Owen? Did KB move his hips? No, I was clenching them pretty far back. Yeah, you were.

Felt right. Here he is. Glasses off, glasses off. Glasses off. Oh. No. Glasses on. I don't like glasses on.

I'm keeping my glasses on. Hey, glasses on. Come on, Che. No, no. Those are Warby Parker's, brother. Come on, Che. Those are Warby Parkers, brother. Those are $110. Those are Warby. Oh, boy.

Other angle, other angle. Brandon, don't get in the shot either. Wait, yeah, get the best angle possible. Oh! That was pretty good. Good slap. That was a good slap. I. That was a good slap. Brandon has slapped.

Brandon has slapped. Brandon has slapped. He is a man who has slapped. Do you see how he just... Married guys have an advantage. No, that's not funny. That's not funny. It's very funny.

But the way that you lined it up I think just like from a short distance That was perfect It's a short hard slap It was in the right spot too It wasn't like teeth I took care of you He was the one I didn't want to go against

Because I feel like you probably have the largest hands in here That's why I wanted to hand test with you Alright so Brandon advances Me and Owen now. Mm-hmm. Oh, no. Me and TJ. Yes, 3-6 matchup. Correct. You have six.

Everything after this is 50-50. Yep. Okay. God damn. Oh, he's got a red face. Who's this? Me and TJ. Mm-hmm. Did you tweet out

the video of me getting slapped? No, I didn't. I just want to see it. I was so embarrassed at KB. Yeah, no, I'm going to get destroyed.

I didn't tweet it out. I didn't tweet it out. I need the, I don't know, I need to redeem myself. Yeah, this is actually bad, Owen and I, for our...

This is who gets abused by KV he's going to want redemption he's gonna butterbean this shit sorry at least it's 50-50

so 55-45 I'll give you no no you and I will be 50-50 alright and every matchup

in the second round is 50-50 it's just three spins I'm very much rooting to get slapped. Also, I put do not consent on this everywhere at every line, so I will be silly. You get one more. It's 6-4.

Alright, Dan. Glad to be back. I'm trying to help my boy out. Ugh. That looks 50-50. Yeah, it's 6-4. That's a pleasing pattern. Is there some swastika to that pattern?

Here we go. A little bit in there. Oh. Oh, upset. Hey. Should have stayed in Florida. All right. It doesn't feel great when you have to get slapped.

For some reason, I thought I was going to win this whole thing. The whole thing, and just go scot-free, and then your heart sinks. But it feels better after you've been slapped, don't you think, Steven? It feels good to have slapped, to be done with it. After slapping, it's terrible. I would have liked to have won it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but afterwards, you know.

Yeah. No more butterflies. Keep your glasses on. TJ. Get the microphone. Get the microphone so we can get the acoustics. All business Pete is gleeful right now. The schadenfreude on the man.

Oh, that's nice. That's a good angle. Can you move your hand? Yeah, it's going to hurt. Actually, is it a good angle? We're not going to see the slap side. I think this will find out. Take your glasses off.

No. I like that. Why wouldn't you take your glasses off? Hopefully they go flying. Yeah. I don't want to break them. Break them. Break them.

He has like 20 different pairs. That's fine. What did he say about your editings? Further back, TJ. Really pull it like you're starting a lawnmower. Oh, boo! You didn't follow through! That wasn't even a strike.

That was a check swing. That wouldn't have even been a strike. So far, only Brandon knows how to slap. Are we re-slapping? I don't know. I think it's your decision. Oh, shit. Oh!

That was a good sound bite. Nice little thud. Yes, that was awesome. We're slapping now, boys. Good job, TJ. Alright. Good stuff. Me and Good job, TJ. All right. Stuff. You know, and me and baby boy, 50-50 split.

If we were truly smithing, we should have to walk up and slap someone. I vow to use minimal effort, strength in doing so. It wasn't strength, really. Can you do the pinwheel for all the next ones, 50-50, TJ? It's better than doing, like, the one solid and one solid. What do you mean? Every other. Like five of each.

It's more exciting. Correct. That's just a tweak on the wheel. Showman, that's a little Barnum and Bailey trick. Visually appealing. We should do a wheel at the end where it's every single person who works at Barstool Sports on it, and one of them just gets slapped by all of us.

Uh-huh. We just run past them. That'd be fun. Imagine if it was Frank. Hey, Frank, can you come in here? We go run a lap, pick up some speed. All right. This sounds like a card in a bike spoke.

Either way, brother. Yeah. Just sounds like a card and a bike spoke. Either way, brother. I'm on an empty stomach, too, so you know I want to get slapped on an empty stomach. Oh, my God. That fucking woke me up. I feel sharp right now. Oh, and after this, no matter what, we're still boys? I feel like John Henders... Who's the guy on the...

John Henderson, yeah. John Henderson, yeah. Joe? I don't know. Wait, Joe? Was it Joe? What's the second most historical slap? How can you slap?

No, there's got to be a fucking great one. Yeah, there's got to be something. There definitely was. I mean, some duels must have been started with slaps. A-Rod on Bronson and Arroyo. He slapped his hand. Yeah, but he slapped his hand. Or Embiid and the Marcus Cousins when they slapped asses back and forth.

What was the one a couple weeks ago? Mello slapped someone. I like slapping the back of the head. Yeah, Mello did slap somebody. Yeah, he slapped someone at the garden when he ran. On the nuggets, I want to say. Ran backwards, yeah. Yeah, that was bad.

Ronaldo Balkman. Yeah, he slapped him. All right. That's another great looking wheel. I canman. Yeah, he slapped him. All right. That's another great looking wheel. I can't wait to see this thing spin. It's like a firecracker ice pop. Yeah. You could mesmerize someone, hypnotize.

I could fill you with real millionaire shit. All right, Owen. Okay. Oh, man. Shit. It's just a bad visual right here. Yeah, it is. It is.

How tall? Will Smith. I'm going to have to do it. Will Smith is 6'4", right? And Chris Rock's 5'10". What a second-round matchup we got. Oh, I'm getting a slap. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Mike. What kind of life would that be? Now, Big Cat, there's... I think there's no winning for you here. It's either you're a bitch... I promise you can slap me as hard as you can.

There we go. It'll be very funny. Oh, man. Is the angle good? Who's going to win? Is the angle good? Take a step to his right. Yeah, move to the right. Oh good? Tell Owen to take a step to his right. Yeah, move to the right.

Owen to his right. Both of you to your right. Yeah, yeah. One more. Yep. All right. Perfect. This is aligned.

Oh, I thought that was it. Okay. Oh. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, baby boy. Oh,. Yeah. Hi, baby boy. Oh, baby boy.

Hi, baby boy. Put it over with. You're done. You're done. Sir. You're done. Sir, good take, Owen. Good take.

Oh, fuck. It did not flinch, but that was meaty. That was a meaty. And you caught him up by the eye area. Oh, my bad. I feel good. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. Eye. bad. I feel good. Eye? Eye?

I'm in, KB. And you know, the second round matchups get harder. Oh, yeah. You know, the slap is a little bit... Oh, KB,

I'm in the worst spot right now because KB's... I thought your slap was great, KB. Should we do the other side of the bracket first? What is this? Oh, what's going on?

Are you good? Did I catch your eye? We have to go... Ronan and I have to go do something. Did I catch your eye? Oh, no. We can finish this. Is this the man himself? We can finish this. Like, one of them. Alright, let's finish it. Let's finish it. Oh, you want to save this for tomorrow?

No, no, no, no, no. Let's do it. Let's do it. Save the semis for tomorrow? I know. Let's do it. We can save. It's funny if we come back with marks from round one. Yeah, I mean, saving is actually kind of a slap week. What does everyone vote? Let's spin the wheel for it.

I would do another one tomorrow. I'd do a whole other bracket tomorrow. Let's do it tomorrow, then. No, let's do it. And a whole other one tomorrow. Let's finish this bracket. Yeah, let's finish it. Finish this bracket, and then we'll do another one tomorrow.

Yes, let's finish. Let's become a slap show. Slapstick comedy, my boys. I'm getting beat up by a bunch of Ryan Garcia. In KB, we're going up against each other right now. Three spins. If you get two, the first one to two is the slapper. Okay.

Got it. Doing 5-5 again? Yep. 5-5. That beautiful look. That stripey look. I'm looking at Owen's face. Oh, yeah.

You thumped him pretty good. Right in this area, kind of like around his smile line. Someone just hit me up. Steven and Irene from Real World Seattle. Yeah. For that one? No. You don't?

Yeah. Slapped the shit out of him. Oh, man. Real World. You can pull that up real quick. Opened up a car door to do it. Yes, opened up a car door. She called him.

It ran out the... Yeah. Who slapped who? A man slapped a woman. It's problematic. It was a homosexual man. Oh, it's fine. More problematic now that you say that's okay.

Yeah. If that happened today... Oh, my God. No, it was bad at the time. I remember him being like whoa that's bad i was like 10 years old these are skeletors colors on this wheel wild berry pop i'm scared the boxers are gonna feel like they could be in part be a part of these boys boxers i'm in the mood to beat the shit out of this kid yeah me too i think i yeah all right okay all right you're getting in that wheel okay here we go all right ready I think I, yeah. All right. Okay. All right. You're getting fucked up.

Bend that wheel. Okay, here we go. All right, ready? We almost had a soundless spin. I got one. This is not going to be good luck if I win this whole thing. All is not going to be good luck. It's just not going to be a good luck.

We did a whole slap wheel and I just slapped everyone. People will believe the wheel is just if you win. The wheel is just. The wheel is just. Okay. All right. So here we go. The wheel is just.

But you did want to win. Of course I want to win. I don't want to get slapped. But I will. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Set it up, set it up, set it up. KB, you know that everyone said you were a bitch last time.

Oh, no. Totally fine slap. Everyone said you were all fingies last time. They said you didn't even use your biceps. You were strong. You didn't even use your triceps. Flush to the right. Flush to the right a little bit.

To the right. He's learned. By the way, off the record, I talked to Erica about that thing. The bonus that you wanted. So I did that for you. What's that? It's a swipe.

It's a tiger swipe. I can't slap. You go to the gym every single day. What a fucking waste. What a fucking waste. If you win this championship. Dude, I just want to get punched in the face. Can we see that replay?

Yeah, it was so bad. Kyle's going to win the whole thing, and the top comment's going to be, he gave nothing? Yeah. Look. He was giving pillow fight. He was giving lucky charms.

That's actually not bad. He's got a fucking iron jaw. You caught him in the neck. There's actually not bad. It's not a fucking iron jaw. You caught him in the neck. There's no follow through. I take that back. No, I think he was trying to follow through. He caught me right here. Yeah.

He caught me in the meatiest part. Couldn't follow through. Yeah. All right. I'm kind of addicted to slap wheel. Yeah, I like slap wheel. KB's in the finals. All right.

Here we go. This is for Brandon versus TJ. Producer versus. I mean, this has deep implications right here, too. These are the visuals that are coming out of this. It's so great. Oh, yeah, this is the slap. But this does show that everybody who's taking this shit super serious last night

Is kind of a pussy Oh yeah big time Slaps are light Big time What? It's kind of spicy You still Yeah

People want a loser's bracket Oh fuck Double elimination Who's up? It's Brandon versus TJ. Why don't I have my maroon? Come on now, Brandon. We know you're a...

KB no slap. ...goal miss guy. Come on, boys. KB no slap. Oh. Oh. TJ. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Get there. Wow. That was a premature end. Damn it. He wasn't using his denim condom. Oh, sweep. Boo. A sweep. Why'd you do your hair like that?

Why'd you shake it out like that? Clean sweep. Why'd you do your hair like that? Why'd you shake it out like that? Clean sweep. Do you have any animus, any anger towards? No, I would have had animus if he had won. Yeah. I'm responsible for his whole life. He said he's responsible for your whole life? I would argue vice versa.

Give him a lot of jaw, TJ. Yeah, make him look horrible. Fight back with your head. Headbutt his hand. Knock his hat off. Slap his palm with your face. Oh, shit. Ayo.

He just cracked his neck. Listen to his fucking body. ASMR for the first time. Goldberg. Turn your hat around. Turn your hat around. There it is. Slap his ass. No, no, no Turn your hat around. There it is. Slap his ass.

No, no, no. To the right. Yeah, yeah. All good? Oh, that was a good sound. How is he so good? That was a good sound. Yeah, that's like a...

That's a Southern thing. That's a Southern thing. Oh, man. How they took attendance. It's the tools. All right, so we got one last one. All right. AB versus Brandon, seven games.

Five, seven, seven, seven. And the show's over. Okay. And we will be doing another slap wheel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of fun.

We should send out a company-wide email, see who else wants to get in on it. Who's everyone rooting for? I'm rooting for KB because he can't. My man cannot go out like this. He cannot. Did you look at Brandon's form? Did you study a little bit how he was doing it? No. I don't understand how to do it.

It's wrist. Yeah, just fucking get. Boom. It's wrist. If I know KB, he's gearing up for the final slap. You can go as hard as you want on Brandon's face. This has all been part of the plan. Going in with a fresh palm.

10 out of 10. Kyle, you and I have a healthy respect for each other. I think we should maintain that. Kyle, everyone on the internet is calling you a pussy right now. Yeah, I am. All right, here we go. Maybe some music for this one?

I don't know. I don't think so. No, I agree. This is like when I made the finals of the Purple Raider Open with two medical forfeit wins. How are they... Dude, we put up...

I put up a good fight. You shouldn't have. Like, you overcame big odds to be here. You're the eighth seed. Yeah, this is nuts. You're just happy to be here. St. Peter's. You won it all.

It's an incredible run. You practice how you play. Are people calling Kyle a bitch in the comments, TJ? I hope not. Yeah, a lot of LBs instead of I hope not. Realize I slapped Kyle. Yeah, a lot of LBs instead of KB. Oh, yeah. Little bitch knows what I mean.

I slapped the whole booth. Are you all okay back there? Yeah. This is actually a huge win no matter what happens because we get to see KB redemption, and Brandon's been the most consistent hitter so far. Yeah, that's true. Good breakdown.

It also just feels good to get slapped by another man. It gives you a cup of coffee. It was a jolt that I needed. I get why Chris Rock didn't care. It keeps me on my toes. We should just do this every day. Yeah, just a slap show every single day. All right, let's do it.

First one to four. That's the seven. Oh, boy. Do you want music? Sure. I don't want these colors. Here we go. Certainly that clip won't be used out of context for you, Brandon.

That is a timeless one for you. What are you doing? Are you practicing? Actually, it was a clip. This dude's freaking out. He's freaking, dude. Whiteboard is the closest thing to a cheek. Oh, no, no. That was harder. He's freaking, dude. Whiteboard is the closest thing to a cheek. Oh, no, no.

No, no. That was harder. No, that was harder. That was a hold. Oh, dude. How are you doing it like that? Why are you doing that? Oh, not up.

Not up. That was like Frank's titty smack. Work down the knob. Follow through the board. Somebody give him an ass to slap. Owen, give him your ass. Kyle, follow through the board. Slap his ass.

Slap his ass. Slap his ass. You're like slapping up. Yeah, you through the board. Slap his ass. Slap his ass. You're like slapping up. You're like go through. Through, yeah. He can't slap. I can't slap. Look at Brandon. Why is Brandon so good?

He's got a father slap. Yeah, okay. He's like, get over here. Just a little finger point and then you're like, boom. Smack you up top. It's one quick motion. There's none of this. He, like, comes across.

Brandon's like, pick it up. Remember, they've been sitting on that iPad all morning, not listening to the shit. What a wasted run. Fuck you guys. Don't encourage this. There will be a lot of copycat slap wheels. Uh-huh. Make sure you got the legal documents to back it up.

Oh, boy. Cinderella run where the team just kept fouling out. They were playing or something. This is like UNC St. Peter's yesterday. It's like, really? We needed St. Peter's here? Like, uh. This Elite Eight sucks. Now we're going to get KB in the championship game. Guy doesn't know how to slap.

Oh. It sucks. Now we're going to get KB in the championship game. Guy doesn't know how to slap. Good timing on the spin. Oh. Game one goes to Brandon. Okay. One nothing. Best of seven. Best of seven. Here we go.

Game two goes to KB. KB. KB. 1-1. Game three to KB. KB. On a roll. Cinderella boy.

Get it together, Brandon. No eight seed has ever made the slap wheel finals. And Brandon is a true blue blood. Sit, dig, dig, dig. Ah, it's okay. Two. Reset. Two, two.

That's a three. That's a three. How can he slap? How can he slack? How can he slack? KB, 3-2. KB now has. Brandon's pushing back his cuticles. Yep, he is.

He's scraping those things back. The impossible. The impossible has happened. Oh, my God. Eight seed. Eight seed. No one had that in their brackets. No one it. Eight seed. Okay, man. Eight seed. No one had that in their brackets. No one thought it was possible.

How can he slap? What if I told you? Okay. Redemption. No. Do you want him to get down a little? Get the angle right. Get the camera angle.

Get down a little? Get the camera angle right Get the camera angle. Get down a little? Get the camera angle right. Get down a little. Yeah, that's the one. Yes. Yes. Wow. What do you want to do it? He's going to set up.

He's not going to do it well again. It's going to suck. Whoa, no. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved. He's not going to do it well again. It's going to suck. Whoa, no. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved. You moved. You moved.

Holy shit. He did it. He slapped. Oh my god. Oh my god. That was a hard slap. He put it. He slapped. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was a hard slap. He put his hips into it. He moved his feet like a baseball player.

Fantastic job, everyone. Oh, Brandon, how do you feel? Talk into the mic. Brandon, you good? I don't think he's that good. I think that we might have just born a rivalry right there. He's good. That shit was fucking violent.

Oh, my God. The wheel is just buy your wheel merch. Yeah. Good slap. KB saved his best performance for the finals. Oh my God. They're almost being cheated. Another fingertip fiasco.

I'm happy for you KB because you needed that. Lots of W's you, brother. You needed that. Lots of Ws in the chat. Yes. They like, okay. Brandon, you got a little bit of a mark on your face, but that's going to go away. Brandon's pissed. I got a little blood in my cheek.

Oh, really? Someone else is getting slapped. A little bit. Why? What'd you do? You beat yourself? I don't know. You're so turned on.

I don't know. Turn your head. Let me see it. It was a good slap. Oh, yeah. Well, you shouldn't have moved the first one. Brandon, you handled that like a don't know. Turn your head. Let me see it. It was a good slap. Oh, yeah. Well, you shouldn't have moved the first one. Brandon, you handled that like a fucking champ. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you did. I did. You gave out the two slaps of the tourney. And then you handled it like a champ. You're the slap VP. Yeah, you are the slap VP of the tournament. Definitely the first ever slap VP. Absolutely.

The MVP slap. Player of the tournament. You just didn't win the tournament. It's okay. Player of the tournament. The stat cast has your slaps. Next-gen stats have your slaps being the two hardest slaps in the game. You're ranked one on the Ken Palm.

Just found out what that is, right? I like it. That was awesome. Are we, like, fine? Are we cool? No, don't be fine. You don't have to. You are under no obligation to be cool with him.

There's a conversation to be had after this. Okay. We just need to have it. We need to have another tournament. Yeah. I don't know, but I want one. I have a feeling. You know what?

I want to be bad. I need another tournament. I need another tournament right now. I would play it right now. We're going to be beating the shit out of you. I would do it right now. I would play it right now. I'm so disgusted in my performance.

Tomorrow. No, I'm not doing another one right now. I would play right now. I'm so disgusted at my performance. Tomorrow. I'm not doing another one right now. No, it's going to ruin the mystique. No, no, no. You guys got to do. What if we spun the wheel once? First person is getting slapped. Second person is slapping.

I'm not. Will someone slap me right now? No. Oh. It wasn't really just me. I'd say that second was just a punch. Wait, no, no, no. Now I gave it to him on a tee. No, no, no. Here it is. Here it comes.

I put it on a tee for him. Oh! Look at Frank! The way he turned around. Man. He really followed through. Let's end the show. We'll do another slap wheel. Maybe even when we do the case race. No, that's a bad idea. That's a good idea. Let's end the show. We'll do another slap wheel. Maybe even when we do the case race. No, that's a bad idea.

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's how we pick teams. Intermission case race slap wheel. Are we doing the case race even if Sass isn't here? Yes. He'll be here. No, I think we should just do it as a tribute.

Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop. It's the act. It's the act.

Slap the like button on your way out, please. Bye. Bye.