The Yak - We're Addicted To Playing Green Greg Simulator: Fri Sep 11, 2026

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyakYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. Hello, it's the Yakk. Welcome in. It is Friday. Stelbucoffee.com. I didn't promote the show. I have to do that. Sto Blue Coffee. You talk about Sill Blue Coffee real quick.

Stel Blue Coffee? Talk about how much you love dogs. you're talking to me or Kyle you both of you no Kyle doesn't love dogs Kyle's a cat guy I love dogs which Paul Chicago does have cats as well uh you go to circle K you can go to Target you can go to 711 711 hold on just locations around the country espresso sweet cream or espresso espresso cafe mocha Amazon you go to the store locator and sell blue coffee dot com to see where the store is near you I appreciate that very much, Brandon.

Yeah, you got it. All right. Just sitting it. Okay. Hello, everyone. Hello. Brandon, I put one digit from your phone number on every yak card. I swear I thought about doing the same thing.

Yeah? Yeah. You're signed all your yak cards? No, I only made it halfway through. Kate, you're going to owe a couple free foot rubs. Oh. Big Kate, you're gay. Ah, well, Brandon, you shouldn't have gone first.

Oh no Brandon and I have a collab card Yeah that sucks And he wrote that I was gay on a few of them You have a Hitler mustache on like half No no no no no no And Brandon you have an arm band And then you say fuck a certain group of people

Yeah The voice bubble Yeah And the couple I did like I was like this is a Hitler mustache pointing to your face Just so that we were very clear Oh you actually wrote that Yeah and a couple

Most of them just the Hitler mustache Okay But yeah, just be sure. Kyle, I looked through some of yours just to get to see what you were signing. And you were like pretty inspirational on them. No, I was. The one I pulled out, you were just like never stop breathing. Oh, yeah.

That on one. It's also the worst picture of me. Imagine. Same with mine. I look like shit. I don't know when it was taken. It must have been after like a endurance competition. Yeah.

Are you super, mine's like the, like the, solely where I'm like real round wait really yeah don't worry I drew over that Zod do you want to say what you did with one of yours which one you know what I'm talking about the one I pocketed yeah there is and I wish I thought of it for my one of one

it's one of the I think it's one of the 25s I gave out a pass no way Wow So somebody out there Oh, Mincy ran in and tried to grab it On it, but how does that work? Well, for Mincy he would treat it like a get out of jail

Freak. Just like it. If you say it, you present the car. Like legally bounding? Yeah. Is it good for only one time? My signatures on there one time. I set it on there.

You see my face on there so you can confirm. They just need your approval. There it is. Just flash the card up. Yeah. Like the end doubles Never mind Oh it's like how some cops

Will give out that card to their buddies Exactly right Exactly Right So do you envision somebody Holding the card out And then saying it or saying it And then being like

Now wait a minute I know you're upset But I've got this You also gotta make it count The latter The latter will be way Would make the moment You're driving up to Wisconsin

To camp And you're singing outcast You think you got him But boom No you ain't I needed the whole set of cards. I think you got me, but nope, no you don't. How crazy is

it going to be when our one black listener gets that cover? Yeah. What a waste. Damn it. Fuck. Just throw it away. You know what seems like she might have the pass is Miss Rachel. Yeah. Oh, she might. Are you following that she's becoming like a black icon? Yeah. Black

community. Really? Like, she's with lethal shooter. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then like all the comments. Yeah. She's with lethal shooter. Yeah. The But now I understand it guy? Oh, shit. Now,

Mm. There you go. Zah, why would this be? I have a thought, but I don't know if I can say it. Why would this be? Let's see. Can I get a 360? Now I see you.

Now you see why, Big Cat. Now you see why. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't blame him. guys leave my Rachel alone she looks ridiculous like the way that she's dressing up

obviously as Miss Rachel yeah but like out of work yeah tell kids you can do hard things I had to apply it to myself I've never played basketball but when you have an amazing she's awesome hello I found myself

talking like that yeah watched it too much do you guys do you guys want to do you guys want to play some Greg we played We played a scope of Greg on mostly sports today.

I don't know if you saw the Kansas, Missouri, the Kansas football hype video. Yeah, yeah. Where Kansas's a whole stance was like, those other guys love slaves. Yeah. And we don't. So we called Greg to get a comment on Missouri's stance on slavery.

And he said, no. What? What? I said, would you like to comment on? Oh, no comment. The show quickly just to address the, Did you see the Kansas football hype video? Don't bring this up.

Don't bring this bullshit up. It's a high video. You're playing Kansas. We're doing the college football preview. Do not. Do not. Would you like to address Missouri's history with slavery? Greg,

I knew this is where this is going. He's smart. All right. You have the opportunity right now. What was the question? Just denounce it. Just denounce it. Would you like to address Missouri's history with slavery?

No. Oh, no. Oh, you gave him a layup. Oh, no. I've been thinking about playing Greg nonstop. He said no. I just want to play Greg so bad. You're going to play it in Kansas?

Well, Kansas, Greg? He's got the day off. Let's play a little Greg. Greg, pump some gas. What? Oh, hey. It can pump some gas, Greg. Oh, yeah.

Nice. He's doing it. It's good. And, Greg, where are you at? All right. Midwest. Yeah. He didn't say that.

What the fuck? Greg, what city are you in? Oh, Columbia. Look, it's literally called Midwest. He wins. Oh, what we did? He wins again. He fucking got it.

Gondem it. This fucking guy? Oh, so you're going to your friend's house to. Yeah. To drive to Kansas? Yeah. Now, is this still Mario behind the... Who's behind the...

It's a me, baby. It's a me, baby. Oh, all right. Oh, yeah, they're tired. They had a night of party. You got to make it. Make it out of the perfect time. Let's play Greg and we'll get you some stacks.

He should try to make it stop on the perfect time. What did you have said? I couldn't hear you. Make it stop on the perfect... What are you trying to buy? How much? I don't know. All right.

All right, perfect. Wait. Stop it on 15. It won't get to 15. What? I don't think you need a gas. Oh, all right. Perfect.

All right, Greg. Go inside. Let's buy some snacks and then we'll let you go on your way and we'll stop playing. Greg. Just a quick game, a five-minute game of Greg. Oh, yeah. Mario left it all out there. Popeye's working.

Are we concerned Mario's way more electric than Greg? Oh, yeah. He's the brains behind the operation. Do you guys see the video of them in their younger days? Zock, give him the card real quick. Do it. Do it. Greg, Greg, Greg, you're loud.

You can do it. You got the past, Greg. I know you want to. It's a rare cheat code. All right, what do we think? Right. Left. Stop.

Right. Turn right. Fourth row down. and three in nice cookies and cream cookies and cream oh cool all right we'll take that that's in the rhesus family okay uh you know what

get some get some orbits gum the pink one you might have bad breath good clean feeling yep yep okay we'll take that perfect Greg now run chunky bar chunky bar I don't know if they have it hey Greg are there silly sunglasses in there, I'll venmo you.

I already vemmored him. So buy whatever you guys want. Buy whatever you guys want. Don't feel bad about this. Silly sunglasses, please. Don't worry about this. Oh, what's this? They got rhino pills there?

Oh, yeah. Greg, they got rhino pills? Get some dick pills and some red man chew. Okay, what do we got here? Greg, can you grab maybe some chips? Sunflower seeds? Greg, is there a chance you fuck tonight? With these?

Yeah. Okay. Okay, Greg, grab some, you know what? Grab some chips and salsa. I'd like to see you and Mario try to eat chips and salsa while you're driving on the highway. Yes. Probably coming with me. Oh.

Oh, fuck. Really? Where's he? Damn. Greg, ask the attendant if they have soup. Greg, go behind the counter. All right, what else? Ask the attendant where the soup is.

They have chowder or minestrone. Italian wedding? Yeah, ask where the, say, where is the Italian wedding suit? Be nice. Yeah, be nice about it, Greg. All right. Do you have some soup here? I'm selling a suit?

I do it. All right. Perfect. Okay, perfect. All right, let's get some soup. Is soup? Yeah. It's canned soup.

Thank you. I got a can of soup, I guess. Oh, there was. A wide variety of soup. That's not soup. That's not soup, Greg. As for a ladle, Greg. There you go.

Okay. Let's see. You know, give yourself some pringles. You know what helps you when I'm hungover? A slushy. Ooh, yeah. Maybe get like a mix, a slushy mix. You got to drink fast.

Hopping cards here. Okay. What else we got? Oh, grab some donuts. Greg, do they have hot food? Oh, a buff. Oh, no. Oh, what is that?

I don't see some nooners in the background there. Donuts? That looks like slushy for a brain free. Oh, I was saying grab the bag of donuts, but yeah. Separately, is this how Reed grocery shops? It is. Yeah. If there's a Dave cut out over there by that high known,

should he have to grab the Dave? Yes. Is their car just running? on the pump right now? No. That was like the... What are you doing? By the way, that was our producer, TJ,

who grew up in New Jersey, who does not know how pumps work. That was a hell of a question, T.J. You know that they stop, right? Greg, what... T.J? No, no, I'm saying is their car out there unlocked sitting at the pump?

Yeah, it is. Oh, okay, unlocked. Okay, got it. I think you meant if the pump was running. No, no, no, I'm at the car. No, it's long. Greg, I'd like to give you one last chance to speak on Missouri's ties to slavery before the game against Kansas. We can't just be yelling this out again.

I'm giving you a chance to denounce it. No comment. Okay. Great. Pretty easy. Media trained. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Right.

There's one right. There's not only one right thing. He doesn't want to denounce it weird. They don't say the right thing. He's got us. got a select fan base that he does not want to piss on it. Greg, you're coming across is pro-slavery. Yeah.

Really? Yes. I know. What's your stance on slavery, Greg? What's your stance on slavery? Bad. Okay. Okay. Your stance is bad? He has a bad stance. He's a goofy stance. Say no more. Greg, please get a slushy.

He turns. Goofy. Like, Craig Campbell. He turns his feet the other way. What he did? What he's? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. Oh, is that Mountain Dew? What flavor you getting, Greg?

A secret. Huh? They said a secret. No, it's liquid. Oh, it's not on. Never mind. Oh, damn. Out of order.

Okay. Oh, no. Not ready. None of it's ready. That's okay. That's all right, Greg. Just pour that out. What do you do?

Yeah. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What about the ones to the left? Oh, bro's controllers off. Are those ready? That one's so green.

Oh, Greg. You gotta get the green. Greg. Greg, there's the greenest one ever. Green right there. He just added to one? Yes. Yes.

How's it look? Still blue. Oh. Okay. Okay. I just don't know if he gets. Is that just loose candy? It does look like that, doesn't it?

What is that for? Oh, is that for the donuts? Maybe. Candy on the donuts? Yeah. It has to be for the donuts. This is just so real. This is so good. It's the longest anybody stayed in this gas station.

Greg, does that guy in the Puma shirt know you? Yeah. You know, he's a hard for sports. Oh, my. Not the question. Green grass. He's got a little. That guy was cool.

He's got a sunglasses on the back of his hat. That's how you know he's cool. So, Greg, you're going to fight a rams. random dude in here? You're going to fight a random dude who has a sunglasses on the back of his hat? Grab your 20 things and scurry away. All right, Greg, that's enough. That's good, Greg.

Yeah, you can pay. Yeah, yeah, you're good. Run out the front door, Greg. Be on your way. That's all. Bargain with the cashier. But grab that. There's a games room right there?

What is that? Slots. Oh, yeah, slots. Oh, yeah, they got taken. Greg, what do we got there? right there to the right in that high no no no turn turn turn right there

warmer what do we got what kind grab one what kind of lunchebles turkey cheddar and head and swiss ham and cutter get the turkey cheddar get the ham green greggs and ham hello hello

I really hope they have a bag that sauce is going down I think they probably have bags I don't know okay you're good to Okay. Well, we got to check the counter for stuff. Greg, what do you think the final price will be? Thank you. Pork rounds, right?

Mario, can you say the line? It's a me, baby. Oh, why must she so deep there? He's trying to impress the workers. Oh, I was about to say, I'll walk off with those. Check his pockets. we're good Greg,

yeah, we're at the party Greg, do they sell individual cigarettes? Parties are good yeah. By getting along

you want to be in it? What did you say? I don't think too much. Greg, Greg, do they have rubbers for your cock? For your big hard cock?

Yeah, Greg, do they have rubbers for your hard cock? Greg, you must inquire. About 5830. Ask if they have cock rubbers, Greg. Cock rubbers. You got, say the line, Greg.

You'll be a hero. Do they have cock rubbers? Just once. You'll never see him again. There we go. There's a bag. I won't do. I won't do.

Yeah, you will. Hey. Do you have Italian wedding stuff in cock rubbers? Wait, Greg, did you get your cock rubbers? Greg. Did you get your cock rubbers? You said you were going to fuck tonight, Greg. You need a cock rubber.

Hey! Who is this? Who is this? Oh, let's go. There are people in Colombia. Hell yeah. But if Greg denounced. slavery, he wouldn't have had that in Iraq.

That's true. Do you know how many people just heard you guys ask that they have cock rubbers? Oh, fuck. What? Like, almost three. Almost a quarter dozen. All right, Greg. Godspeed, all right? All right, M-I-Z.

Look at his camera angle. I bet on Kansas tonight. So, you bet on Kansas? What I just say, I bet on Kansas. What I just said? I bet on Kansas. they're the good guy. Yeah, I bet on the team that's not pro-slavery.

Are you flying? We are anymore. We are anymore. All right, Greg, good luck. All right. See you guys. See you, Greg. See you, Mario.

Yeah. Why are there more people around this gas station than there were on campus? Yeah, it's a place packed. The Midwest. That's a good shot. 2499. It's a really good shot. I was expecting way more.

I don't want to stop playing This is the news clip I know Go Tigers Trinquent's had a risky play call And he went for it And I mean it paid off well for the tires M-I-Z

If we showed that video And we were like Guess which one we hired Yeah Yeah Yeah What Why did Mario apply?

Yeah I texted Greg last And I was like Dude We have to play more gray is all i could think about i was like can you give us five minutes of greg he's like i will be at the gas stage he's like perfect thank you yeah tj someone said in the chat that this is impractual joker's without the earpiece

it's so true ask for cock stuff ask for your cocked crick your hard cock gregg i love them i love them i used to not love them but i love them now oh that's what'll do to you About time. You saw the vision. I saw the vision. Didn't vote for him, but saw the vision. Not vote for him. Not even once.

Not even a little bit. And again, I was pulled aside, and I was told you have to vote for him. I still did it. There it is. He kind of ended up being the only one that lived in Missouri, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like, it's Grand Deft Auto if it was I am legend.

Yeah, an empty server. Oh, man. I still can't believe Papa Best found him. I mean, that's a big campus at the last second yesterday. Papa Best is damn good. He's good. Isn't that right, Mark? Right there in the name.

He's the best. He knows how to do content. That's for sure. Oh, man. All right, so what do we got? Everyone, it's Friday. That is Friday. Those cards are going to be awesome, though, from signing them all.

Did everyone sign them all? I got halfway. Yeah, I still have to go. I would say I've signed, what do you think, TJ, 150 cards? I didn't see how much progress you got through it. That was all of yours up there. No, I just mean that's how much we're signing. Yeah.

We're all signing. Oh, I feel like it might have been more. Each person is signing two sets of 25, 10, 5, and 1. And then some of you have duo autos. So there's like a Brandon Big Cat duo. There's a Nick KB duo. There's a Kate Danny duo. There's a Titus Chef Donnie duo.

Oh, that's going to be a grail. Cream team duo. So each of those is a 25, 10, 5, and 1. And then there's a group auto with all of you on it. I put a marry me on one of the cards. I didn't do that fast. I don't know how to have me that was. He said that so fast.

I was trying to add it up. 25, 10, 5, and 1. And I was like, fuck, that sounds like a lot of cards. A lot of cards. It's a lot of cards. It's a lot of cards. Brandi, you got a little silly with yours? I texted T.J. this morning and said, what are all my catchphrases on the act?

So I signed some big customer, some with the pumpkin jokes, some with the, density jokes on with the those jam there's a lot of juice in those yams I got a lot of jay huh maybe gay and a couple I signed a few just as Dave Portnoy oh nice yeah yeah

I rubbed a couple on your guys's seats and then I'm like this card was rubbed onto brandon's no kid this card was rubbed on to titus I think I'm gonna do the yak house on my one of one oh that's good maybe in my 10 of 10 I might do 10 yack houses we'll say whoa yeah so buy the car

you might get a yak house who are the logan berries logan support berries this is the alma mater of bill titus uh who he sent me this uh when we started mostly sports and they used felix the cat as their logo that's cool that's cool felix the cat was everywhere for not being that what is what was he in his own charit tune it was a really he was one of the first thing talk though right no and and when when the talk when the talking came around he got left in the dust yeah was he a like to He's he dated with Wendy's a lot? I don't know, was he? Was he on Wendy's stuff?

He didn't know how to talk? No, like he was popular. Like, I think Logan Sport picked him as the mascot, like in the 20s or something, 1920s. But could he talk? But then I feel like he was in those cartoons where he wasn't talking. Got it.

And then by the time, talking had been invented. He was left too late. Yeah, it was too late. So did they grab him as a logo before copyright law even existed? Must have. I don't know. Still a popular clock. I feel like.

I have them. Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah, I like those. I think that's... I don't know if I've ever seen an actual cartoon. Like, I've seen the image,

but I've never seen. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't think I've ever seen like a Betty Boop cartoon, but there's like, she's a famous cartoon character from Macbhan. I think the best Felix

the Cat cartoons are just like gifts now. Probably. Just do like a five second. Is he the third most popular comic cat? So you're putting him behind Garfield and Heathcliff?

Yeah. You'd have do right. Sylvester. What, Tom and Jerry? Tom. Oh, yeah. He's barely top five. My kids have been watching Tom and Jerry. Really? It's funny. It's violent.

Oh, yeah. It's really funny. Yeah. Tom and Jerry's great. Did they team up? They teamed up for the, what's the dog? Were there ever episodes were they like kind of? The Bulldog, right? The Bulldog they teamed up against or no. They joined forces. Why do I have this memory? I don't know.

Every so often. Or was the Bulldog going after? Tom. I feel like the Mouse and Bulldog might have. ganged up. Yeah. They might have ganged up against Tom. Poor Tom. Remember, it wasn't always one-on-one or so.

They'd mix it up sometimes. Tom just always got the, got shit on. It's a true story after Tom Lay. Right. Yeah. Okay. So, so. Garfield.

No do. Tom, too. Felix three? Sylvester's more famous than Felix. Oh, I forgot about Sylvester. Topcat. Who the fuck is at? That's Topcat.

He was kind of a hornet. any cat was he not top cat cat the hat Cheshire Cat Hello Kitty is one The Aristica Hello Kitty's not actually a cat What? Who's Penelopee pussy cat?

She sounds hot That's a lot Pepe Lepewes trying to Uh yeah Sounds hot as fuck Is it? Oh Aristocat son I didn't know her name was Penelope

Thomas O'Malley What uh What is Hello Kitty then? You say it's not a cat? It's not a cat What is it? It's a little, it's like a fictional character, but it's not a cat.

It dresses up like a cat. Hello what? It's a Japanese man dressed up as a cat? Pretty much. I think. Can we Google it? We're going to Google it. It's totally looks like a cat.

Is this something I made up in the head? Hello kitty, a cat or Japanese man. It's just like a very ancient. A human little girl. Oh. It's a little girl that dresses. I'll be goddamn. Kate, you went again.

That rocked my world. Kitty nighted, Riggly a couple weeks ago. I went to the one at White Sox. There was a Hello Kitty Night at the White Sox too, really? That's got it. That's an adult thing that's like, whoa. Yeah.

Back up. Like if you see a dude at a Hello Kitty night in line. It's a little bit. Treacherous. That's one of those sting operations. We're like, oh, here's your Hello Kitty. Okay. And then come with us.

Yeah. I think I'd rather gone to that than bark at the park night. There was a lot of dogs. We won't let this go, the bark at the park. You didn't like it? It was, it was, there was so many dogs. There was 11,085, 1,1,1,000, I'm sorry. Wait, where was this?

White Sox game. They had bark in the park? Yeah. But it was just the outfield area. Yeah. It was kind of cool. There was like a fire hydrants all in the outfield, like a concourse. There were, dogs were fighting.

They were fighting. I couldn't, like, taking Stella to that. She would hate it. Yeah. Also, I guess when the white socks pick somebody off that's trying to steal, they play a doorbell sound. Oh. And that happens to dogs were going nuts. Yep.

Yeah. There's a lot. That's all. I'm sure it was cute and not annoying. Just kind of like a low buzz of annoying sounds just constantly throughout the sporting event. Yes. Yes. That sounds fun.

Just like. A lot of dog barking. Constant like, yeah. You're there to, like, yeah. An unnatural sound at a sporting event. Yeah. Kind of constantly buzzing. Bring something in.

Yeah. You bring something in to make annoying noises the entire game. It's tradition. The people that are there just to watch a game are just like, will you please shut the fuck up? People that are there also in on the tradition. It's a tradition. 60,000 people with them.

Does it get old, the sound? Oh, they're terribly annoying to me. I'm not a big cowbell guy. I collect them. I don't take them to games. I collect them as part of my decoration. But I, the most annoying, when you're scoring touchdowns, everybody's ringing them.

That's not loud and that's not annoying. It's when it's silent and there's one eight-year-old kid behind you just constantly ringing his. So would you want them banned? You want that? No, no, no, no, no. No, no. We can't ban it. It's tradition.

Feels cheap. Every other school is buying linebackers and quarterbacks for billions of dollars and we're just trying to get along. We got 60,000 people there. Let us have our fucking cowbells. It's also an amazing tradition. You going to do any games this year? I'm going to try to go to the Alabama game on October. 2nd. And if I can't go

that one, I'm going to try to go to the Oklahoma game on October 16th. Loss, loss? Nope. We're going to win at least two of those. Are you going to win this weekend? I don't know. This one I'm nervous about. I think we lose this one. I think we start one and two and then we start picking teams off that aren't expecting it. I think we beat Missouri, then we beat Alabama,

then we start rolling. Where is the Missouri game? Starkville. Would you bring anybody? Oh, wow. Oh, like who? You serious? Mm-hmm.

You could play it first person. Greg would be more comfortable in a pro-slavery, pro-slaven. That's right. He doesn't have to be. He would chill at home. Can you tell me about the helmet at Boise State Senate? Because I'm just looking at it. Yeah, I don't know.

This was just sitting on my chair. This is sick. The blue. And they, I think it's... The turf, yeah. It's their alternate helmet. That's awesome. I think I have to...

I think I have... have Memphis but I might have to switch just because of you know what I'm gonna do that I'm a switch to Boise this weekend that's a big number for these two teams I know but it's just like yeah we're Boise guys here you know yeah at the blue turf that's about us gonna hell is that is that thing going down the is that text is that like a design is that like small words yard line those are just yard lines no this is just blue turf like it's like little pieces of blue turf I see yeah yard lines I thought there was

cool 1986 damn cool that's really cool is that when they started the blue turf yeah that's what it says I thought they started

like late what year does it have to be to be like cool uh because like whenever you see like established like 2022 you're like

okay yeah yeah right I'm kind of the opposite you like what it's like recent I don't like one business is like flex that they were

established hundreds of years oh I love someone's like oh yeah we've been around We've been serving this sandwich since 1942. I'm like, well, that's good.

I'm kind of getting that way too, KB. I'm sort of like, you go to a restaurant that's like established 1912. More often than not, I'm like, you're on some 1912 shit. We've evolved past that. We have way different dollars. You guys have bigger goals? We haven't changed in 200 years. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But a lot of times it does hold up, but yeah. We went to that burger place that has a change their grease for a hundred years. Dyers. Yeah. And Memphis.

I'd rather you'd change it. Yeah, just change it. The burger was great. Change the oil, though. Yep. On the other side, how long can a store leave up a grand opening sign? It's off-asked.

Week? I was going to be a age of a year. I was going to leave it up for a long time. I think a month. A month? I got a cha-thing. You're stretching it. Oh, no.

Let's hear it. He finally got a good one. So the man who brought you J.P. Sure. Giovanni Bernard. Of course. Ruben Bain. What's the Ruben Bain?

Lubin. That's just a thing. Terrible. That's every person named. What did Giovanni Bernard sound? That's not every person named Rubin. Giovanni Bernard. Terrible.

Give us J.P. Pee. No, that's me. Put chills down my spine. Justin Bieber. Justin Bebe Oh Wait

Max and Cleber Oh yeah One of my favorites Maxi Kleber Okay Nefisa Nefica All right so these are all bad

He debuted one though last night I don't know why he didn't do it For the 10 years that Mike Evans was on the bucks. Oh, Mike Evans? He's got a Mike Evans

right after he left. Hold on. We got to get the camera on you because it's the most Asian he can be and it's so good. I think, to be honest, it started with Kek.

Okay. So, TJ, load up a gonged. Yeah, wait, but look into the camera, Che.

I love this. I don't know where this is going. That's such a basic name. Big Mike. Holy fuck. That was good. Dude, I had a.

Like 20 times. I was like, do it again. Do it again. Do it again. I've been saying it all morning. Oh, my God. So I, so every time I pass Katic, I say this like kind of under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear it. And I saw him this morning.

And he said it to me. I realized I've been saying that to you for months. He's like, oh, yeah, I hear it. Yeah. Yeah, give it to us again. Big my. I love it. He finally got one.

That could go. like global yeah i was thinking i was like all right we got gaseki we got like when pennix so many mics i needed every sunday just big my why did you decide to make this one chinese i know i don't know i don't even think about it when i say it but i say i say guys names all the times yeah but this one is we'll give it to us again big my i fucking love it oh man i was just pressing this chee soundboard last It was like, do it again. I really like the big like. It's a great game.

The Justin Bieber one is so random. It's from like an old Otis freestyle. Remember that. Yeah, that is what it's from. I don't know why you associated with that, but. It is from that. I was repeating that for a long time in like 2011. And it's just stuck in my, so every time I hear his name,

I just say his name in that cadence. Justin Bieber. Justin B. Big Mike is my favorite. Thank you, thank you. I'm a Giovanni Bernard guy myself. Giovanni Bernard. Big Mike actually

tired of his career. Yeah, you waited for him to leave Tampa. Oh, I made Tom Brady laugh with it. With the Giovanni Bernard? Yes. Do you remember I was, I asked my question. He's always smiled. How, what was the laugh?

Oh, 100% real genuine laugh. Like a hearty laugh. Yeah, he asked me to say it again. Belly laugh. Apparently, he was in a very sour mood that day. Oh, you saved Tom Brady's mood? Yes, the next day I went back, and everyone was like, we're so happy you were here yesterday

because you're kind of late in the mood. Oh, I didn't realize. You speak to my Stephen and Shay Barclos. It's nice to meet you. I was, I usually asked how Leni, how is the rest of the backfield death with Rashad White? Giovanni Bonnado and others

Did that again Oh wow that is a joke Oh my god Why do we never see this? Yeah what is that? Yeah You made Tom Brady laugh And you've never told us

Did we watch that before? I've never seen that Certainly We've never seen that Oh my God Genuine laughter out of Tom Four years ago But yeah

This was talked about at the time I don't think so dude I would have remembered Stuff to it yeah We may have. Have we seen it from that angle? No, no, that's a different angle. That's what it is.

Wow. The ball's on you, Steve. On time. Will you do that to Mike Evans? Hi, Stephen Chey, Barcelona Sports. Nice to meet you. I was interested. Obviously, asked about Lenny.

How is the rest of the backfield depth with Rashad White, Giovanni Bernard, and others. Giovanni Barnard. Jay great camera work with that back of that yeah it's Eric Kaufman

our Hall of Fame voter Big bye I often think about how you were What was that Titus I'm just long for the ride Brandon like everyone else

Oh that's our Hall of Fame voter Big bye Jay I often think about how you were the first one to post the Brian Winhorse meme with the double fingers Yes that's my biggest That was you

Yeah I'll be damned He's the one who did it. Well, Brian Winhorse did it, but... You started a meme? ...took a video of the TV. Yes. It was July 1st.

I was expecting Wimbledon to be on, and first day came on, which I normally do not like. And, yeah, took a video of it, and I was on the edge of my seat. I was laughing. And I took a video of it, had good audio, and uploaded it. Well, what did you catch in it? Wendy looks like the teachers that says that he... I don't know. I don't know, can you?

So Twitter updated and you can sort your tweets by most liked. Is that your number one check? Oh, really? Yeah. I think so. What? I think so. Stoo, by the way.

Highlights? Oh, sort by. Cool. Where is this? Oh, it's not my biggest. Oh, no. What's your biggest tweet? It has been discovered that LeBron James is sleeping with his newest TV in its mom.

Oh, that's a good one. My Isaiah Harkinstein criticizing his parenting is my second biggest story. Goodness gracious. Goodness gracious. Where's highlights? It's a drop-down. Click on posts. Yeah?

Sort by. Popular. Oh. I don't have any highlights. It's not in highlights, Brent. It's swore by. You got to set it highlight. I think highlights is something that you decide yourself.

Oh, mine's the one where everybody thought I looked like that Philly Karen with the gray hair. $85,000 likes. That's the one right above. I'm not getting it. Can we do it? I'm not either. Yeah. I think that's, I guess it's by comments, not views.

Yeah, good times. Brandon, is your biggest, Kobe? Probably. not Brandon It might be him, yeah Oh Tim 32 million

Yeah I'm on top two Oh Oh no And here's my Kobe Yeah Yeah And then

Oh a good one for the whites Dan is your biggest Kobe No I had to delete a couple of the cobies Oh yeah Yeah Yeah a couple of the Kobe's had to go Laker Dan. Laker Dan had to go.

Mine's like, I think it's still blue. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, baby. There we go. Oh, my kid. Preferable, yeah. Yeah.

That's probably appropriate. Remember when Mean Girls Pots have they didn't wash their hands? That's an easy one. That had to have been about a small penis, right? It had a big penis. Oh, look, a good Kobe one. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Nice. Oh. you had Trevor's dad squeezed hard look at that I asked him about that when we interviewed him

he was just like yeah I straight up hate coronavirus that's a banger yeah really bold take right to

you went off for that and you collected the coins yeah you're like yeah this is good oh fuck oh no this is scary

all right please get a job by my Mom desperately cries from outside my room as I strategically. Oh, this one sucks. Something I like on the crusty crab and something I dislike on the chum bucket. She's completely oblivious, the amount of retweets I'll be comments. I was very bitter about the...

You got a lot of retreats on that one? It was really Twitter. I stepped dad told me it was pointless to apply to med school because I was too stupid to be a doctor eight years later. One of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem. The other was making... This was Twitter in 2018, though. I was going to renew his wedding vows with my mom. Yeah.

That's some good shit. That's a good. I remember this one, Kyle. My girlfriend was in a horrid mood because someone stole her brand new 2,799 MacBook Pro, so I bought her Chick-flay waffle fries with the money I made from pawning it. Touch my ticket balls. Dick Slash Balls. That's so funny.

That's all it takes. Tick Slash balls goes hard. I couldn't. I didn't have the characters for the and. You had to slash the balls. Big slash balls is funny. Dick Slash balls. Let her touch my dick slash balls.

Oh, man. By the way, Roeback, Roback Activeware, college football season is here, which means Roebuck's game day collection is fresh with new designs, products, and schools, almost 80 schools total with new designs and products. The best part is everything is custom designed for your school print polos with school logos, campus landmarks, longstanding traditions, team colors, you name it, hodies and kuzips, in school colors with custom trims. This isn't just slapping a logo on.

This is custom design. designed for your school. As James Winston put it on Saturday, we wear Roback. So before your team loses and your season's over by week four, take a look because it's going quick. Head to rowback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use code YAC for 20% off your first order, best fit, best feel, rowback. Brandon, we're going to Ann Arbor. Yep. That's going to be fun. Sure is. Going to be fun. Going to go celebrate those Michigan Wolverine. their big time win last week.

If they win this week, though. They are. I know. They are. It sucks. Like, you can't bet on Oklahoma this weekend. What? Am I crazy for thinking, like, yeah, that was a huge win.

Yeah. Did you watch it in real time? I saw the clip, like, but the stakes and implications of that final play, like, beating Western, like, losing to Western Michigan would have been. than the end of the season. That would have been a bigger win. They were so dominated. Before Michigan.

I know, but West, the bigger win didn't happen. Of losing? No, the Western Michigan winning would have been a bigger win than Michigan winning for Western Michigan. Yes. Well, for college football. Yeah, for the world. Would have been a new App State.

It was almost like we all expected Michigan to win. So when they did, it's like, well, yeah, we expected that. You're saying Michigan winning, avoiding catastrophe. The beating catastrophe is a bigger win than, like, say, beating a top 10 team by 14. You're walking down the street and a piano falls from the fifth floor and smashes right in front of you. And you're like, oh. It's a big win. Right.

That's kind of a big win. Like, who cares that it was controversial? If they lost, then everything would be hellfire. Yeah. And now they still have a chance. We wanted the hellfire. I know we wanted it. But for them, I kind of get why they got really excited.

Yeah. The hellfire will still come. I got time. I got time with the hellfire. The hellfire will come. Brett, would you believe? I know. Dave.

The Dave factor in sports is you can't deny it. This weekend, Oklahoma, I think, should win. They're a better team in every facet, but it's Dave. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that I, when the clock went zeros last week, I phacetimed him three times. Right. Who was Dave in a pageant?

past life to deserve this. He was like, we need to look up deaths the year he was born. Elvis. Was he Elvis? What year did Elvis die? 77. Elvis made it pretty far. Mm-hmm.

Well, he's only 42 when he died. Isn't that crazy to think about, like, that I'm Elvis's age or about to be? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Elvis feels, maybe it's more just, I don't, I still feel like a, child you feel like young elvis child elvis yeah i'm child evils like living past jesus what was jesus 33 3 yeah yeah elvis did not look good yeah it's like all those like good at all i think i was thinking because i was thinking about uh like jerry garcia died when he's like 53 and it's like he was a rough

oh yeah oh my god like 53 is like you see a 53 year old it's like brandon he's fine oh yeah oh uh just real quick um not 53 47 47 what are we going to do for your 50 that's a great question oh my god you versus chain a case race no will you zoom in from mississippi you said no when you said you leave you're never getting back online you hate the attention yeah you do you do hate the attention

all right everybody let's relax time to tweet a list tonight sure let me go on ESPN just trying to get another picture of the outdoor boys I You should quote for yourself And be like still miss this guy I was doing it I was trying to find the tweet

Yeah Man I miss him That's it That's it That's all I gotta say Also fuck coronavirus Yeah fucking hate that shit

What should we do for your 50th Brandon That's in three years We gotta start planning If we want to do it right No no no no I'll have to come down. Is your contract up on your 50th?

That's exactly when it's up, Nikki. What was the best birthday you've ever had, Brandon? Oh, I mean, I got this job three days before my 40th birthday. Yeah, so April 10th is when I got the job, and April 13th was my 40th birthday. Good gift. That was a pretty fucking good one. I had money. I don't remember any, like, good birthdays.

I don't either. Adult birthdays, no. Yeah. They all bleed together. all the years bleed together man did you guys do anything wild for your 21st or was it I don't no I didn't

I mean I like I drank 21 drinks and piss my bed I went bowling no ballin yeah went to the Cubs game Mm-hmm I'm fun Sett and the bleachers

Caught a home run and batting practice They don't I thought about that They're like did they change the batting practice You can't do it anymore right Well they also the Cubs Bare hand caught a home run on my 21st version. That is sick. Out of the air.

Batting practice, yeah. I don't know if they, I mean, I know the Cubs under Joe Madden, they would never do batting practice, which is kind of crazy. You can. They let people in. I figure out it's 90 minutes or 60 minutes before the game, but it's like the tail end of batting practice and you can go. By the way, it's like the very end, right? Like oftentimes. Yeah.

They're not even hitting, yeah. Did you guys, obviously, did you guys talk on mostly sports about that White Sox fan? Which one? With the one of barehanded. the home run that was the greatest catch of all time there's just there's been two this week there's been two oh there's another one second one tonight we went there was one the first one was I aired it down might be the greatest catch of all time because it was going like 120 miles an hour yeah it's a great reaction I mean that's insane oh oh he reacted to school badass that almost

looks like a plant for like a movie that like is coming out right so show it again Yeah, they have it in like slow-mo? It looks like one-handed. And like, that's so good. First time I saw this, I thought he had the baby. Like, I was zooming in with the guy with the baby right next to him. Oh, yeah. My first end, I was like, holy shit, but it's still incredible.

But that is the dream. That's the coolest thing you could possibly do as an adult male. That was like the worst hammer coming to him. Yeah. Yeah. That's sick. Is it cool for an adult male to ask for a ball that hasn't even been played? They just grab it from the bucket before.

the game and they roll it under the net to you. Oh, no. That's embarrassing. That seems really lame. I don't know. So is it like a, I mean, I'm sure. Is it cool, though, if they don't really ask, they just go like this? Jake.

I think everyone will assume it's for a kid, though. I think if my kid did that, I'd be like, dude, come on. There's no way anyone's ever done that. No. That's not a thing you do. I think if you do that, then hand it to a kid immediately. It's fine. But otherwise.

But even still, it's like. that's a bucket ball like that's not even a real one yeah it's not hit from anyone it's like it wasn't even handed to you was it handed but i'm sure this guy rolled a girl the guy gave it to the kid though right so i think is it a normal guy or like a big goofy ass guy all's well that as well i don't this was a hypothetical okay just i don't know slow what if you just didn't want to spend money on a baseball that's true oh yeah what if there were two kids sitting behind us brothers and one caught a foul ball and the other one really wanted a ball oh no that that That, this is now.

Hold on. It's time out. Let me get involved at this point. Both those kids got balls. Eventually, because, but like I was like, give your ball to that kid. I got. Brandon, you did this? Wait.

I got Jake to sign that ball and I'm going to give it to my nephew for Christmas, okay? So that ball is in most of the sports right now. And it's signed by Jake Mangum. Did I text him, hey, I need a bat too this morning? Yes, fine, whatever. But I had a plan for that ball the end. entire time. I also got there an hour before so he could hand me the ball. He knew

he was going to give me the ball. This was a pre-agreed ball. It wasn't just some ball that I said, hey, give me that ball. It was a pre-determined ball. You texted him being like, hey, I'm going to get there early so you can give me a ball? No, it was, no, I texted him even worse than that. I said, I came to Milwaukee and you didn't give me a ball. Oh, my God, Brand.

If I come to Chicago, you better give me a ball. And he said, come before the game, and I said, I'll be there. And then he gave me a ball. For my nephew. For Christmas. For Christmas. Eight months away. Four months away.

You're going to forget. No, I'm not. It's on my desk right now. It says Jake Mangum. Let's go bucks. That's what it says. He signed it the next day. And you held on to that as the boys behind you were Jones and for a ball.

Those boys were ball hogs. Those boys got plenty of balls. Those guys were just yelling every player's name in the Pirates. Hey, O'Neill, give me a ball. Give me a ball. Shut up, kid. Like, you already got a ball. One kid got a ball.

The other one was close to tears. He ended up getting a ball. He did end up getting a ball once the tears were flowing. If I turned and we were leaving and he didn't have a ball, I was going to give him the ball. But he had a ball by the time we left. And I have kids too. I have kids too. And nephews and nieces.

In your defense, though, they give out a ton of balls. A ton of balls. There was balls for everybody. Every time they came in for the inning, they throw a ball in the crowd. And that's what sucked about us. We were sitting first row. All the balls were going past us. To the kids.

So we were at a ball disadvantage. Seats were great, but not good for balls. Not good for balls. That's why I had to get there beforehand and say, Jake, give me a ball. Great experience. Too many dogs. Too many dogs. Too many dogs.

They should, if it's bark in the park night, they should play baseball with tennis balls. Wow. Wouldn't that be a good wrinkle? Yeah. What the dogs run out in the field and does the field for them? That would be. Yeah. The dog parade around the field last.

too long. You remember that girl's name that we took the picture with in the outfield? I said I was going to shout her out on the yak. I don't think she told us her name, did she? Did she not? Okay. Well, that'll do it. Shout out to you.

She was very nice. Damn it. Heather? No. That's a white girl name. She was white. Mm-hmm. Shout out to you, Heather.

She was nice. It wasn't Heather. All right. A girl cried meeting Brandon Walker. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Brandon, it's true. Brandon has so much motion.

It's unbelievable. Some dude came up and said, Brandon, you're the absolute fucking best. He goes, Nick. And then I took pictures for Brandon all night. Wow. All night. Wow, I bet that was fun for you to see.

I like seeing Brandon successful. Your friend. Why are you mad about that? You're just such a liar. That girl was happy. She was shaking. I'm talking about the rest of the night, though. Yeah, the rest of the night.

Do you? Nick, landscape. Yeah. Do you volunteer? Does Brandon say, Nick? Do you mind? I volunteer. You volunteer to take the pictures.

Brandon in the sports world is huge. In the real world. In the real world. Yeah. No, you have unbelievable motion. You're killing it, Brandon. Not even tried a joke. All right.

Really? Yeah. What else we got? Would you rather trade lives for a year with a, like a powerful college football head coach who ends up going five and seven? Okay. Or just a regular 24-year-old dude who lives in Cleveland, makes 60 grand a year, but his parents pay his rent. Does that was my question.

Does a 24-year-old dude come from money? No. Was he drive? Doesn't. No, this matter. All this matters. No, it doesn't. I gave you.

A red or black Honda CRV. I'm going to go with the coach, yeah. Really? My buyout's going to be huge. What were the five wins? But you only trade for the year. What were the five wins, though? And what were the seven losses?

One was a really decent win. Okay, so we beat, we won. You guys underperformed. Okay. Your approval rating is low. We lost at home to Purdue, but we beat Iowa on the road. Yeah, fair. I got to take him, I guess.

Yeah. Greg Shiano. I don't know anything. Oh. He's at five and seven. I don't know anything about Cleveland. You'd have fun. Cleveland is just a placeholder.

It could be like any mid-sized city. I'm going to go with the coach. Yeah. If you'd up the 24-year-old salary or even made him 26. I think 16. Okay, what about this? What if it's the 24-year-old Cleveland er, but it's the year 2016? Cleveland.

Oh, boy. So the summer's going to be amazing. And the fall is amazing for a little bit. Until the very, very end. And you're hot. Oh, you're a hot 24-year-old. You're a hot 24-year-old. You didn't say a hot 24-year-old.

A hot 24-year-old. What if, all right. Living in a major city is pretty good. life. Then bump the coach up to six and six. What ball game do I go to? The Chabani Yogurt Bowl. I'll probably go with coach still.

Damn. I was under the impression that. That would be like a pretty miserable, stressful year. Yeah, I guess it depends on what year, too. It's just so well-compancyed. What do you mean year one? Like year one as a coach, you go five and seven. You can be like, all right, well, we're building something.

You take over a two-win. team and you win five, you're in the right direction. Yeah, you're going the right way. If it's year three, you're supposed to turn it around already. Year three and you went eight, eight wins, eight wins, five wins. I'm on the high seat. That's a terrible, terrible existence. My kids can't go to school. My wife can't go to her league club. My dog can't go to the vet. Yeah. You can't even get any strange pussy? Can't get strange pussy. Well, what about coach or a high school, a four-star recruit in high school? Four-star recruit might be one of the best lives you can have. Really? Yeah. That's an incredible.

You can't go out and party. Oh, yeah, you can. You think so? A four-star recruit, a high four-star recruit in a senior year of high school is a top, top-10 life in this country. It's a top-10 life in this country. It's an amazing. He's the man in his high school. I'd say no.

Dirt poor family. There's just no way. He's the man in his high school. He's getting NIL offers out the wazoo. He's already getting money on the side. He's getting pussy on the side. It's getting thrown at him. It's getting arranged for it.

Like everything, his entire life is head of him. He's going to the NFL in four years, in his opinion. Four star? Four stars. I mean. There's a difference in low four stars and high four stars. But a four star generally thinks he, a four star athlete right now, wherever he is in Odessa, Texas, or Nashville, Tennessee. He thinks, in his mind, he's going to the NFL.

And he's getting all these offers. That's true. I'm with you on that. In life, though. Three star, yeah. That guy might be realistic. If I can just play four years in Champaign. paying and then become an insurance salesman, my life would be fine.

But the four star is being told he's the fucking man. And a five star, maybe that's the top ten life. Yeah. Yeah, I would say five stars probably better than four star. I would agree with that. Yeah. Now you have, of the top ten lives in America, you now have two high school football players. I think this is showing that you really want high school pussy.

Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, you're talking. That was one of this. Yeah, you're like, 20% of your best life. list is high school pussy. Time, time.

What are the other lies? DJ, do I got it? You got three. Can we change this to to being like the hot English teacher in high school? Yeah, that, oh my. Just out of call.

Zero moral compass. Sick L.L.B. I was saying the high school is getting the pussy from the college people. The college were getting them. So you want to be a raped boy. Yeah. That's the story.

raped boy. Yeah. Top ten life. Top ten. Yeah, release yourself from this strange chronic grip that teen pussy has.

She's going to the bathroom. Oh, fuck. Shake it off, Brandon. There we go. Kyle, I got a question for you. If you were in college, and the police came into your house, your apartment,

and they were coming for something else, but you had a bong sitting out. What's the most embarrassing bong that you could have? Oh. Where the cops are like, hey, you got any weed here? And you're just like, I just got this bong. Hmm. Embarrassing how so, like design?

Like, let's say it was like a Rick and Morton. Morty bong. Okay. And you played for Penn State. Wait, did this happen? Yeah, that happened. Wait, wait, wait, was it a Rick and Morty one? Yeah, Penn State.

Of course it was. Of course it was. Rick and Morty bong in a bottle. That's like, 50% of bong. Yeah. That's a common bong. I have to be like, yeah, I just got this bong over here. It's a Rick and Morty ball.

It's hard to find a bong these days without Rick and Morty. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's such a funny detail. Chef Donnie has a Rick and Morty bong. Does he? I got it for him. Housewarming. You got one for Moresh as well.

Yeah, it's 30th birthday. Yep, I kind of just, I'm on my way to somebody's birthday party. I stop at a gas station. I pick him up a Rick and more. Do bong guys low-key suck? Because, like, you really have to make an investment in your smoking to be like, I'm a bong guy. After college, yeah. Bone guys suck.

Something's not quite quick. Adult bongers. Oh, Zai, you got a bong? Yeah. What's on the bong? No, I got a mini one. I got a little rigging. I think Mini's different.

I'm talking about like the bong guy who has like a bong that's basically the centerpiece of their living room. You know why I got it? I don't know if you guys do this. Try it. Try it one day. Boil some green tea and then smoke it with. Instead of water, use green tea. It's unbelievable.

Oh. That does sound good. Unbelievable. Depends on the bong guy. I'm thinking of like the guy, what is it like dabs where they roll up with like a tackle box? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they take up your whole table to get all of their apparatus out.

I just feel like, and I'm not judging weed smokers. I smoke weed. But it's like the more you invest in it, the lamer it gets. The more tech involved. Yeah. Right. I think so. I feel like there's a direct overlap of those guys and guys with samurai swords on their walls.

I don't know how to explain it, but those feel like the same kind of guys to me. But whipping that out when you're high off your bomb is a cool activity. There's a few things. The more tech you add, the lamar it. gets it's like weed and jerking off yeah yes yes no jerking off yeah absolutely absolutely true yeah the minute you get a uh a fucking fleshlight art glass you're like dude what do you enough yeah do you see the guys like speed running the guest the moan yeah what it's probably set up i get it's a sketch yeah oh guess what else is it the more tech you get

the lamer you get. Is jerking off bad with VR? I haven't done it, but I feel like it would be awesome. I think we made Zah do it. Watch it at least, right? You watch porn, yeah, right? On the VR. That was, I feel like I did it at too early of a stage.

I also, I've never done it as well. I feel like it's one of those situations. The highs are probably higher, but the lows are so much lower. Because when you're standing there with like a dripping, cock and goggles on. That's got to be just the bottom. I cannot imagine. Because I am of closing my work laptop.

Right. Right. How quickly I'd be ripping those. Oh my God. Just be like, all right, well, I'm done. It's just. Or if you're just like, you know, when I'm not jacking off, and I have my V, my massive helmet on and then I take it off and see my fiancee looking at me.

Yeah. I had a dripping cock. Going from pussy to you guys was was tough Seeing pussy to us Oh yeah you take off the headset and you're just Oh yeah It's a shock that's like Yeah it's like walking into like a cold convenience store on a hot day

The opposite Yeah Yeah Hey Brendan Hey How are you Still thinking about No that's on you

that's on you I would like to like if you thought about it the top five American lives because I think you would be good at that ooh no billionaires no billionaires

yeah because billionaires are two that's on a table I have to go on your side I don't like brand it's a young person I don't like Braden's list I don't think it's a high school I think it's a college Brandon hasn't even said his list

and I don't like it and I disagree so I'm going to start with an 18 year old five star a five star a five star quarterback in grapevine Texas. Yeah, I could see that. Is the fucking man

and has everybody around the country begging to give him millions of dollars. But what about the pressure? There's so much pressure and so much. Yeah, they're happy. You haven't done anything yet. In the whole world They don't know they haven't done anything. You failed. Millions in you. Everybody's just like, you have to, if you're not the greatest thing of all time, you've robbed our school. You're telling me right now,

Bryce Underwood has a bad life. I bet you he's not feeling good right now. Is Johnny Menzel thriving. No, no, no, that's a different scenario. He's now in... He thrived for a while on that shit. He'll thrive. I'm thinking like the guy who's already accomplished it. It has no pressure.

A big cat. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, that'll be cool. I'm trying to think of top lives. I don't think it's an athlete. Sports are too hard. What are... I was going to say, weirdly, with athletes, I would gravitate towards like a good, not great

NHL player. Why? Okay, so you're making money. Yeah. You're obviously like a stud, probably got a hot wife or girlfriend. You have a nice house. You also don't, you don't have the pressure

that like being a quarterback or NBA player has, like, you can still live a somewhat normal life. Like being Ryan Whitney has to have rocked. Are you telling me that, These guys won't end. He did have pressure. He did have pressure. I don't think these guys won't.

Keith Yandel, like he had a... Keith Yandel might have one of the best lives. He made a... Enough money that doesn't have to work again. Had a great career. Was just hanging with the boys for like a decade plus. But when you're in it, are you like shit in your pants? This might be it.

That if I don't... Yeah. If I have a couple bad games, it might just cut my ass right now. But if you're already established enough, you kind of get the goodwill. That's why I think you've got to be established. It's like the elder. it's like a 34-year-old athlete maybe or third yeah i'm just like freddie freeman jordan speed no but he was he did so much so early and it hasn't done anything right but he's done

he's rich forever and he flies around privately to just play golf all the time yeah and if he wins one it's a bonus at this point about like kiley jenner's gay homeboy that yeah why even go athlete yeah yeah i don't think it's athlete i think I think there's too much. I think it's like a confident in her 20s with a super chill sugar daddy. You guys are weighing pressure too much and not weighing the fact they get to play a fucking game for a living. Yeah, but you could also invent something. A professional golfer would be the biggest torture any man could endure.

Everyone says it's like the greatest life. Imagine you're like on top of. George Spies is a great example. He was dominating the entire sport and then suddenly of a blink of an eye. He's like not good. And that would, if you're in his shoes, you got to be like, how the fuck did that happen? I don't know what happened. Or swinging the club.

It's got a way on it. Or like being like Max Homa, who's the man and he's made millions and millions of dollars, but then he just like, because he had like one off year, everyone's like, you suck at golf now. It's like, no, no, no. He's still insanely good at golf. The margins are soon. Yeah, like, I don't know. Oh, you finished 60th this year?

You're a bum. You're a bum, yeah. Like, that's brutal. Wouldn't you just want to be rich, accomplished and relaxed? Yeah. Accomplished is big. Rich is big. If you're not like you're retired by 30.

You're retired and rich for the rest of your life. You know what the answer I think is? I think the answer is being like best friends with a dude who's super successful. Like a rapper's manager. Like not even that like maybe like a dude who like started a business like Mike Ripoli. He's got so micropoly obviously noble. He's a friend of ours.

He owns a ton of horses. We see him at Saratoga every year. And he brings like all of his like child. childhood friends with him. Yeah. And a bunch of his childhood friends also worked for Noble and body armor and like went the climb for him. They don't have any pressure.

They're just. But do they feel accomplished or lucky? I probably like, oh, yeah. I started this business too. I don't know. I met one of his friends who was like maybe 50 and I was like, what do you do now? He's like, well, I worked with Mike all the years. Like now I'm just retired playing golf and like I come to horse races with him.

But you don't have your youth. Seems nice. I don't know. That would be a sick life. You don't have to be the main guy. You can be one of the... Like Elio? Elio's got a great life.

Elio's got a great life. But would you rather be Elio or Manny Machado? Mani Machado. Hmm. Come on. Oh, I think the answer is just like a Filipino star. Yeah. Yeah.

A Dominican baseball player? Dominicans too, but Filipinos treat... If you have like pretty decent success, in anything. Yeah. They ride for you. Or like being, yeah, the best, the best baseball player from like a small Caribbean country. You had to come through some shit, though.

Yeah, they're in the trench. True. I think being like a wealthy power lesbian with no kids, but you're a fun aunt. I think that rocks. A wealthy power lesbian. You would get a lot of pussy. You're like a queen of the town. Sure.

You don't have any men around. Right. You got the nicest. You're a peaceful fucking life. Yeah. You got probably some hot ladies around. Honestly, not that. But like, look what happened to Ellen.

Sure. She's still happy. No, you got to be like, you got to be a really nice. A nice, pat fun. A business life. Andy Cohen. You've got a great life. Andy Cohen's got an awesome life.

Yeah, a caravan. Yeah. Everyone loves Andy Cohen. What about Anderson Cooper? Doesn't he come from a shit ton of money? He's a Vanderbans. Yeah, right. Gloria Vanderbilt.

But I think the Vanderbilt's lost all their money. Being born in a generational wealth is. That would be pretty funny. That's probably... I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I think that's a little weird with those things. They never had the transition from low to high.

Yeah, they were never low. But I don't think you... What generations are different? What are you all talking about? Whoa, what generation? What generation? I don't know. I think being second generation, generational wealth would be awesome.

Third, I think, would be like, that's where you're like, I'm nothing. Second time... My dad and my grandfather did shit, and I'm a fucking loser who's going to... going to probably ruin this. But you don't think that way. I think you might in the back of your head. You guys are thinking feelings too much and not just how sweet it would be to never have had to worry about anything.

Yeah, but everyone looks at you and they're like, oh, who cares if you're an asshole? You don't know you're an asshole? You get no respect. But having everyone look at you and be like, you're the rich kid and we're only nice to you because your dad was someone. That's got to fuck you up mentally. Yeah. You're right.

I think you might be right. Yeah. That's what you do? You wouldn't do that. You would not like people looking at you and being like you're a joke. I'm just saying, are y'all talking lives right now? Are we talking live from birth to talking about lives right now? Right now.

Snap your fingers and you're the. I'm in that life. Yeah. Michael B. Jordan. Already's got his award. Yeah. Sexy as fuck. But I'm being honest.

I don't think like if you said snap your fingers and you'd be like a 24 year old third generation rich kid. I think there would be, it would feel like very hollow. Yeah, but Dan, if you told me snap my fingers like a. relive my life. I get the money. I do what I did and I do okay. Or I am given the money at the beginning and I might be an asshole. I think I'm rooting for, I think I'm picking might be an asshole. Dad looks at you like you're a failure. Did that anyway. Are we not thinking musician enough? Yeah. No. John Mayer, like a guy who like has mastered his craft and now he doesn't really have to work that hard at it. Yeah. He kind of just goes. And he's still John Mayer. He can just kind of show up

fucking shred. What about like a big level? Hard for him. But like John Mayer might be too famous. What about a high level author of books

who has like a who are the famous people that really write the every year they're putting out new novel. Me, PFT and Dave? No, no, no. Like a David Sedaris? Who's the woman?

Danielle Steeleggith. Yeah. Somebody who was established talking about Tom Wolfe. And just like John Grisham once a year writes a book and sells a billion copies. I'm Clancy.

Nobody knows what they look like. Nobody cares what they look like. They live on their farm and make. Yeah, that's a pretty sick life. Yeah. Although you've got to produce another book. Yeah, but they're... Imagine me.

Arl. Stine. Yeah, but like, it's nothing. R.L. Stein is the... Is he the best life? Oh, my God. It's R. L. L.S. You're a Buckeye fan.

You're... Oh, my God. Is he? Oh, yeah. Where's he left in Columbus? Oh, he gets to living in a lot. Oh, yeah. Probably got...

Is he so live? Is he so live? To the book lot? The bookloff? The bookloff? Is Arl Stein? Is Arl Stein? a real person?

Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. I would have thought he was way old. He was 82. I think it's Aral Stein. It might be R.L. Stein. Is it the best life?

What is Arles Stein's net worth? Because his books don't have to be overly complex whatsoever. I was thinking of Patterson. He's got the best. Oh, my God. Oh, God. It's R.L. Stein. The number one life.

It was R.L. Stein the whole. I think it's a writer. He is. Good call, Mark. Yeah. I'd rather be the mole on his forehead than me. And Greg. You think, great.

We did it. R. L. Stein. You're right. He hasn't, to my knowledge, people don't have to dislike him for anything. Is he still working? But also, they're kids' books, and kids aren't like, this book suck. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. I still think we were naming people who have to do too much work on a day basis. Yeah, here we go. J.K. Rowling. James Patterson is who I was thinking of. Every year he's pumping out a book. He's worth $800 million, and nobody knows what he looks like. Yeah.

Oh, Nora Roberts. R.L. though. You're right. There's something. to children because no child is going to read the book and then go leave her a scathing reviews every adult thinks fondly of goosebumps yes right because you're like oh i read that as a kid i liked it i was a huge janet of vanovich head for a while she's pretty good really is the answer

how about that okay we figured it out okay hear me out someone like this time for my space invented something huge early on got all his money now he's off the mat off the map off the map he's accomplished now he's chilling super rich I don't think anyone hates him yeah he just kind of hung it up here and there he's up there doesn't have to do too much work on a daily basis what about like a monk who's like I'm in Nirvana right now constantly every second feels like ejaculation

no it's probably R.L. Stein because would writing a kid's horror book be hard no he gets a formula and then he just hits the formula every time. Because they're not even kind of realistic so you just come up with just like wacky shit. Has anybody picked up the mantle? Because he's 82. Yeah. This is a huge void for tons of money.

What if a swarm of bees had guns? There it is. And now you just write a kid's book. Well, literally. That's Say cheese and die. Say cheese and die. I still remember like whole storylines all the way through. Remember the cover? The goosebumps actually had little bumps on them?

That was cool too. Is Judy Bloom dead? Oh, I hope not. She's got to be. She's got a hundred. Beverly Cleary just died. She's got to be. Huh.

Still going. Nice. Good for her. Still going. We lost Silverstein young, right? Shell? I don't know. I believe so.

I believe we lost him, yeah. Damn. We were young. Yeah. For old dollars. He was old. He was old. We were young when he died, so that counts.

I lost him young. Lost him young. What about a children's musician? Raffy. Oh, Raffy was probably cleaning up. Are we just circling all the way back to Miss Rachel again? Yeah. Mr. Rachel is the best life.

Or like the fourth wiggle. He was the purple Asian one. Yeah, I mean, what's his name? Bloopies, like, I know that he had another man's shit on him, but other than that, he's... That was the old blippy. He sold it to a new blipy. So it's a bloopy. It's a poop-free blippy that you're seeing.

How much do you sell it to this guy for? A lot, probably. No, that's old blippy. There's a new new blippy? The blippy who's shit on the guy or who got shit on is no longer the current blippy. Okay. The old shit on blippy sold it. Oh.

That guy's got a pretty good life other than getting shit on. Do you know that Rodney Dangerfield bought his act? No. Yeah. He traded acts with a guy. Wait, so he was a cover of? artist of it. Wow, like he was a guy that wasn't making it.

I don't think he bought the act, he was like in his 40s. And he traded the act with somebody else and then he made it big. Wow. Gallagher did the same thing with his own brother. I thought he just sold the act when he decided he was done. He sold the act to his brother. Correct?

Something like that. That's what I do. What do you do? Just like give him a bunch of watermelons? So wait. When we're done, can we sell the yak? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I guess so. I guess Dave could sell it. Sell it to a bunch of people. Be like, hey, what do you do? Talk about nothing. Yeah, pop on. Play some Gregs. Spin the wheel.

Cruise control. We're still doing it. Oh, the wheel, by the way, we should mention because I know people left that. The wheel's doing some funny shit. What happened? What happened? Brandon hasn't gotten right yet. The wheel hasn't done funny shit.

It was 4-3 and Dana won by like the smallest sliver to keep Brandon dry. Oh. Dana here? I don't know. Doesn't you have to get wet? Yeah, he should. It's just very funny. The wheel knows that I'm here to kill it, and I will take it out this year.

Not if you're the last one. Then we restart. No, we don't. Yeah, we do. Then I'm off the yak. Then that's it. And I'm going home. That's it.

I'm going fishing. Oh, what happened to that show? What show? Remember the fake show we made of you and your family doing a, like, dung. I'm going to fishing. That's it, Tommy. I'm going fishing. Hit the line.

Did you laugh the first time you heard Brad Paisley's. I'm going to miss her, Brandon. I left the first 200 times I heard. Brad Paisley's. Yeah. That's a man. He's a riot. When Tommy was four years old, me and Tommy knew we sang that song together.

Oh, I got to check to see if he still remembers that song. Oh, you know, did piss me off last night. Ben Mets getting kicked out of the fraternity. Oh, we do. I have to talk about that. Stephen Jaye debuted Big Mike. We were watching U.S. Open.

Michelle Obama got shown on the screen. He didn't hit us with a Big Mike. Oh, that would have been, man. Brent. It was a perfect time. Big Mike. Why does he get so Chinese? It's awesome.

I don't know. And it just makes me think if, like, Michael Org got adopted by an Asian family. Big Mike. Steve, we do the drive. The Weighted Kings read? Yes. The weight is over. Football is here, and so is Draft Kings. The Drafking Sports app is now live in all 50 states.

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Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Ferries by state. offer. Nice. Yeah. Shame about Mincy. So I really, I know that Mincy is Mincy. I know that. And I've long since given up looking for logic or beating myself up that it, whatever. He's 43. He makes over $100,000 a year that is documented. David said it before he makes six figures. Why can't he just get a hotel? Why can't he just go online, go to holiday, go to All day in. Oxford obviously is sold out for next week, but Tupelo is an hour away.

You know, Batesville is 20 minutes away. You're going to be able to find one somewhere in the area. Just put in your card number for about 150 bucks. You'll probably be able to stay there for the night, maybe 300 for the whole weekend. And that's done. Why? Why is he still dependent on living a life where he has to beg frat boys to sleep on their couch? And we've seen his apartment, like he lives, it's a nice, nice apartment, but he lives very simply. He's not coming in here wearing fancy clothes. So is he chees? His clothes are free. His rules are free.

Is he in crippling debt? Yeah, something has. How often have you said that I could stay at your guest house or your guest room or somebody's couch and I say, no, I'm just going to get a hotel? Yeah, like after the way it's, yeah, you could have crashed mine. I think you've done it once. I did it one time. And that was that was it.

But I, I, I, if I'm visiting a friend, I will get a hotel in their city. A hundred percent of time. And that's for me. I'm not sleeping on a couch. I'm grown. I can't sleep on a couch. And he prefers to do it. Is he cheap or broke? I think he can't be broke. He just can't be. It can't be broke.

Were you sleeping you get here every day? Huh? Where are you sleeping you get here every day? Oh, my couch, yeah. That's not, that's a little bit different than what I'm talking about. How much are drugs and prostitutes? It's a great question. Why Menzzi's trying to beg to sleep on a couch at a frat house? Oxford. Why does he just get him? He makes over $100,000 a year. Why can't he just, why can't he just get a hotel somewhere? I'd rather sleep out. Are they sold out? Because

the game? Yeah, I'm sure Oxford is. There's no doubt Oxford. What happened? President, got the green line on us staying there because, you know, Tate and our both former ATOs, as well as, as well as our brother, Eds, Southern Illinois, Illinois. They just said it's up. Um, but I've been requested for a follow-up call today, which Let's go make a call. I feel like, I feel like I'm about to get the guill tinging. not going on Ed, what's your role in this? My role in this is just a third party brother

making sure everything is okay. I don't want the chapter to get in trouble and Mince is going to do that. Fucking walking hood. Yeah, such a piece of shit. I don't blame him. I got to be honest.

What is this new hair? Yeah, there's a lot of lot. When I was in underground, we got in this shit-time trouble too. You were president, though. Mincy, let us remember before you. Nice shirt, by the way. Let us remember

before you make this call, we are all brought. Oh, the shirt. Yeah. As well as this guy. Oh, yeah. No. All family. El Alarm, man.

He's nervous to call a 19 year old. It's really funny. He's 43. Hey, man. What's up, Peter? How are you? I'm good, man. All right.

I got two of our other brothers here. We got Tate, Ohio State. We got Eddie, Seller, Illinois. So we got a little summit here. So what's going on here? Yeah. Unfortunately, I've got some bad news. You guys are not going to be able to stay at the ATL house on the Houssuit weekend.

It was a good idea, I thought. What were we thinking, do you have any really, I mean, trying to keep the peace? What happened? Yeah, what happened? Liability. He's never spoken to the right part of the speakerphone. I get that because I understand that. Look, all I want is for the success of the ATO will miss chapters.

So I'll never put myself above that. I can't weigh in. Yeah, Peter, just wondering. Is this come from the top? Does this come from Wynne Smiley? It was a support of trustees issue? What's going on here? A little bit of a group.

They just don't want Mints. One of those ideas is that's out of good. Cooler heads prevailed. I will say I don't understand not wanting Mints to stay in your hands. Cameras filming everything. Gobbles up all the pussy. Cameras. Yeah, well, we'd like to come back.

Mints, where's the pussy? Look, we're all brothers here. Says I don't know with his mouth full. So what are they going to do? Now? Get a hotel? Probably have to get a hotel in like Tupelo. No, that's got to be like his 10th option. Yeah, he's got another place.

Fly to Memphis, rent a car, drive to Tupelo, drive to Oxford for the game. Easy peasy. See, you're thinking like an adult. Yes, that's my fault. The worst part is something amazing is going to pan out for him. He's going to be in a mansion. He's going to get a pan house. And then Tate will be there to report the whole thing and it'll get millions of years.

That's the cycle that we're in. Sounds like you don't like the cycle. It is That's his He's 43 Yeah So What did he say on the

He makes six figures He hasn't crashed on a frat couch Since his mid-30s It's Oh man It's been ten years God Thought those days were behind

What is his reason For leaving the boot on? It is kind of piss me off. Does he really think that it's going to correct his walk? Because he's obviously been taking it off. He wants everyone to be like, oh, you hurt your leg. But he's,

that thing's coming off for Ole Miss. Yeah, it'll come off. And he's going to be like, look, I'm lava hot. I got my boot off. Like, you had your boot off three weeks ago, dude. But I feel like he's also been spotted with no one around with it on. Like, I feel like he does wear it at home still. You think he's going for the record?

He's a moron. Of walking boots? He might have confused himself, Danny. Yeah. Maybe at this point he doesn't remember. Which foot was her? Yeah, what is he supposed to put the boot? He's just got it laying around.

He doesn't know when he's supposed to put it on. It's like Green Goblins mask. He just ends up on him sometimes. Yeah, I mean, I would imagine, like, him going to the doctor is similar to, like, taking a dog to the vet where it's like, it's very hard to diagnose something when they can't explain to you what's wrong. Yeah. I think outside of the office, though, the boot probably gets him kinder treatment from just the general.

Like at a sporting event, this might get him to the front of lines. I still think he could get... Yeah, you're right. I don't know. He's cutting lines at airports? Yeah, yeah. I'd like to see him in two walking boots. And those are just his shoes from now.

The old Carson Wentz. Yeah, just... Do you think he is going on the plane first with that boot? Definitely. Passengers who need a little extra time to board. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, me.

He texted me midshel. What do you say? If yak is slow second hour, I got a couple of Nashville banger stories. I mean, we got to hear. It is slow second hour. It's Friday. Oh, yeah, let's cue up a... How, like, what do we think these stories?

Can we... Were you here when they're all... They're all bad effects with TJ when he just added the laugh track? Oh, we just had a farts. Oh, yeah. Can we do that again? Let's all agree to say a number after the story 1 to 10 and we'll have a composite score. Of how much of a banger or how?

The banger. The banger score. All right. What do you guys think over under how like composite score? Be honest though. Let's be unbiased. Unbiased. In both ways.

Yeah. If it's a banger, we got to do this. I have to be unbiased. Nick, you have to be unbiased. Absolutely. But I think 3.25. It's never a story. He's just going to say there was a ton of people in line.

the place was crazy. Everyone was cheering. Yeah. There's no like beginning, middle. Take, yeah, right. Let's try to do this. Let's try to have an experiment where we take out everything we know about Mincy and just pretend that a random stranger told you this story.

Yeah. Okay. And what would you, what would you? Because there's a, there's a funny factor to Mincy telling a bad story that we have to remove. Can we agree to not aid him in telling the story? Like, don't ask him questions. No question.

Sit back, let him go. Pretend he's a random stranger. And when he gets done talking, that is the end of the story. Say your number. And then we can ask him to follow up. Che, you're going to count up all the numbers? Yes. So there's seven of us.

What if we had him tell the story to somebody totally neutral here? And that person came in and told us the story. So we can look at it organically. Click. Click. What's up, Mincey? How you doing? All right, Mincy.

We want your banger stories. How many you got? All right. Give us the first. How we doing? Hey. Great, good. Yeah, very good.

All right, the two Nashville ones. All right, the first one, I'm walking over the bridge after the game because the way the Titan Stadium, you like walk over a bridge, get back to Barstow, Nashville, Nashville. And, you know, every now and then, most of the time, you know, a lot of heat on social media, people are cool in real life. Well, this drunk Ole Miss kid, let me be real honest. There's a pocket of Ole Miss fans or maybe more than a few pockets that I might drive crazy. So this drunk old miss kid Just like I don't

No Sorry I don't know you know well Fuck All right Are you famous So a bunch of kids We're just like You know

I'm taking pictures Being friendly Doing the deal We just want a thriller I'm in a good mood This one drunk old miss kid I You could just tell in his eyes

He'd been waiting For this confrontation for five years Just came up to me And just started Mother fucking me At a level That I hadn't seen A long time

Just like our fan base hate you, you're a disgrace to the university, just losing his mind on me. And I'm just like sitting there like, okay, like whatever. And then it hit me. I just looked at him. I'm like, hey, man, this is America. You're entitled your own opinion.

And it just shut him down completely. He was just like, oh. He just couldn't believe that's how I responded. Zero. Okay. Really? I'd say two and a half. It was a pretty wild interaction.

There was a structure. And it shut him down? It shut him. How did he react? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's over. Okay, can I give the second one? No, no, no, no, hold on.

We got to score it. 2-1. Brandon? I'm zoned out for the entire. That's one and a half for me. Five. Oh, wow. I'll say two.

I'll explain later. Kate? I liked that it was on a bridge. That's fun. For, four, two. Stephen? Wait, what's Danny's score? 2.5.

I like how this kid hated you since high school, too. That's funny. I can just tell he's waiting for that. How old Miss was he? He looked pretty preppy, the long brown hair. You know, just, I mean, dude, there was hate in his eyes, though. I mean, it was like. Was someone filming him?

No. He was just like, he saw me. Did he think you were somebody else? What's up? Do you think you were somebody else? No, he was very sure. Did he have any, like, zingers, or was it just, like, pure, like, fuck? Just pure, unadulterated, just, like, I mean, just.

Yeah. Vengeful. Yeah, it was zero. Uh, cumulative score 2.47. All right. Can you beat 2.47? Yes. Yes.

All right. Okay. All right. All right. The next one. The next one, okay, this is Barstool Nashville Bar. Uh, this was like 1.30 in the morning Sunday after the game. I'm hanging out in the green room with, like, a bunch of people just chilling.

Uh, so. Apparently, this group of beautiful women walk in front of the bar at like 1.30. And I have a friend out there who told me this, and he swore it's true. Because when he told me the story, I'm like, there's no way this is true. But this one woman was just like, I want to go in there and make out with Minty. And then I found him 30 minutes, like the guy 30 minutes later. And he's like, you're going to be so pissed. You miss this.

And I was like. So that's the start of a story. Yeah. Can we go negative? I don't know how there's a problem at this Because that kind of stuff is That's one That's a one

Okay Hot young woman No Apparently Which there's no May I ask one question Did the bouncer describe the woman It was a brag story

Hell yeah it's a flex That shit hadn't happened to be a long time It wasn't a middle or end It wasn't a bangor There wasn't a then what That's the start of the story Well Whoever that girl is wants to shoot me a DM

Do it. And you will make out? I mean, I'm not out, I guess. All right, Kate, Titus. Kate's passed away. Kate's dead. That's a one. Point three.

Sorry, man. It's just. She wanted to make out of you? Yeah. 8.2. That's what I'm saying. This stuff had to happen a long time. Let's go.

So you've kissed. Oh, yeah. I know. No, definitely. I'm talking about more. You've fucked, like, do you get a tongue? Yeah. Have you made out in an elevator in the past year?

Yeah. Okay. It was like a little every year. Yeah. How the fuck do you know that? If you're in three months? I'm loving an elevator. Uh-huh.

I mean, the only other funny thing I thought I did. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Another story? No, this was clear. I guess. No. I mean, I ripped a hottie-toddy with all that

Elevator legends on stage and I dropped the mic Is this a hot boy era? Apartment elevator. I thought that was funny. It's weirder than we'll tell. Zero again. All right. Well, sorry to disappoint you.

No, it's okay. We're just, we're trying to grade these. Unbiased. I appreciate the good rating. If I graded you as a mincy story, I would give you a higher grade. I was doing a completely unbiased if like a stranger came up to me and told me this story. I'd be like, was the elevator make out for play before you got your apartment? It was up.

It was adding the mince level. It was in a, uh, it's like a one. It was at, what's the name of the restaurant? It was a restaurant elevator? What the hell? They're like two hours. That's just the kiss. Cheesecake factory?

No. You had the, you had like. It was in Cobra. The Cobra elevator. What's Cobra? A real good restaurant. What kind of food? Like Peruvian?

So you just, you just face full of Peruvian food one floor. It's like a, I think it's like in a hotel. So it was on the third floor. It did make out with that. Wow. Quick. I mean, what are you going to do, you know? Huh.

Brandon? Good for you. I'm just thinking about... Brennan, which story... Was there anyone else in the elevator? Or the story of the guy who doesn't like him? Were there other people in the elevator? I like the bridge story.

I'm with Kate. The fact that had a scene... The bridge had something, guys. And at least had this... Guys, the second one, a bouncer came up to him. It was like, by the way. It wasn't a bouncer. It was a friend of mine.

Oh, front of you. No, it was a friend. Yeah, but what are the chances the friend was lying to? No, I didn't believe him at all. So you asked if you're lying to me. No, I was like... your phone call the friend uh okay i don't have his number how is he your friend i can get his number i think we were hoping for more though i think it was

i understood as the bones you get told that she wanted to make out so then i go back out there i'll get his number i can get his number i can get his number man see back to the bridge store when you when when the kid berated you and i mean mother phone oh he really mother fucked me and then you said hey buddy this is america you can have that opinion was there another group of people around oh yeah oh no they're just kind of like they were above, there was like five of my people. And they were like, oh! He didn't go like four, but it disarmed the guy.

Oh, oh. But it was just fun to make the way the guy that got disarmed. And then did he just walk away with this? Yeah, he just couldn't believe I responded like that. Did he, did his shoulder sag as he walked away? How was it? I mean, he was like a little, like it kind of hit him like, oh, man.

He might hate my content, but maybe I'm not the worst person that he thought it was. And you don't think he'll treat the next, the next mincy like that? I mean, if he's drunk after a football game and party in Nashville, he's probably letting it fly. So who knows. You know, I know they let it fly down there. Yeah. Big weekend, though.

We had a line two blocks out to Broadway at 1.30 p.m. on Sunday. I know Barsstall, Nashville makes a lot of money, but they were super ecstatic about what went down in there. They were very, very, very happy. How hard did you try getting the girl to come back to the bar? So I didn't even know about this until I was walking out of there at 2.30. So it was already, she was already gone. That was why I was a bomber.

What kind of friend is that? I know. what I told him. I'm like, dude, you knew where I was. Come get me. And would you have done it? I would have met her. Did she say it to him or you overheard her talking to her friends? No, he overheard her talking to her friends. Did you search her on Facebook or anything? I don't know. I don't know a name. I don't know anything. That's what I'm saying. That's what I just said. DM me. You know. All right. What are you going to do? You know. Sorry to let you all down. I thought those are.

No. I thought those are both pretty funny interactions. Maybe a hype. Funny or do they make you? funny or do they make you look like the fucking man? I don't know. Dude. Well, that is funny. That's a good point. There we go.

There we go. For the record, I thought it was funny. I was just grading on like a story. We were trying to grade as unbiased as possible. Guys, I like the bridge story. I thought the bridge story, because I can see the old Miss kid because I was just a bunch of assholes. Just running up thinking. and he's doing something and then you just disarm him.

I did. He didn't know how to react. I'm shocked like his boys weren't filming it. Well, the other guys he was solo and the other guys that I was with were kind of like, what's this dude doing? I'm just like, whatever, man. I got a lot of people that hate me. Satan knows to me. I do love that about you, Mincey. Doesn't bother you. Doesn't bother him. Yeah.

What's update on LSU, Ole Miss? All right. So, you know, I'm wanting to take it to the streets, to the people, like go back to college. Yep. What, Brandon? Twist. It seems like you don't know what ticket the streets means. You make so much money. Why can't you just get a hotel? Yeah, where does your

where does your money go? Where does your money go? Can we do a mincy budget day? Yeah. What's too much? Where does your money go? Well, okay, so I live in a very nice building. So one of my two paychecks literally goes to my rent and bills, but it's worth it because I'm 43 and I want a nice place to live. Like, I have no regrets on that. I've moved around and lived. I've moved around and lived. all over the place. So that's kind of a thing of pride at this age. Yep. So that gets like one of them.

I like to travel, but it's all economical. All my traveling's like maneuvering. That's the whole point. Right, but why do you maneuver so much? Because you see the lifestyle. I somehow try to pull off. I mean, I make pretty good money, but like, I mean, I feel like I, you know, you would think I make more judging by how much I travel and how much I do.

So it's all like economical maneuvering. All right. I see. So when is that game? economical maneuver No, it's what it is. The panic thing is totally like, can I do these three-night panic runs

for a thousand bucks? You can stay at the graduate in Oxford next weekend for $1,600 a night. That one's probably out. Yes. Definitely out. All right. Looks like everything else.

But again, you just go to Tuplow and spend $100. But if I have to go to Tuplow, then we have to rent a car and get the two-plow and not in Oxford to get the content. I got to stay in Oxford. He's got a car to the streets. Brandon, he's got to take it to the street. So the streets being students at Allman?

Well, we're figuring it out, but I've got irons in the fire. And I'm more than... The Magnolia Lodge next weekend, $500 a night. What's the Magnolia Lodge? I don't know. It says the Magnolia Lodge. It's a house with three bedrooms and three bathrooms, sleep's eight. I'll look that up.

That sounds lovely. $500 I could do. Did you end up booking your next appointment before your next trip? So I have to go get a CT scan out in Orleans Park on my ankle tomorrow morning. I jumped the gun on the celebration, I guess, because I felt fine. But I went Wednesday. I was there. She took those x-rays.

Now she's saying I got to get the CT scan, and then I got to go back Wednesday. Brandon. How does your foot feel when it's not in the boot? Like 85, 90%. Like, it's not fully healthy. Like, mobility's not, but it's fine. So why don't you just take the boot off and not even go back to the doctor? I think the doctor thinks it's on her and is wanting me to just be super careful.

Hotel Oxford, 353 a night. Okay. But how much would, like, someone's crib? be to crash out on the couch? A literal crib? That would be funny. I would be. The only thing I will... No, damn. That's the point.

You don't have to... No, no, no, no, no. If somebody has a baby's crib. If someone has a baby's crib, I will pay, I will pay for Mitzie to stay there. It has to be a pretty damn big crib. You'll have to be in the crib. Sleep, and then they have to give you a bonnet. I will pay for the bonnet.

It's a bonnet. Metsie your man. No. stop. Free trip, though. Think about him sleeping in a crib. Economic and all maneuvering. Well, will it have like the camera and the...

Yes. And every time Mincy stirs, tape us to go. I got a bunch of babies. I bet I can make this happen. The friends with babies don't want you in their crib. They want the baby in the crib. You need a friend with a dead baby. That's a good point.

Mincey steals the covers from the baby in the middle of... Ask your friends if they've had any tragedy. Any homies cats. Have some real dark. It's going to be a big weekend. I don't know what to say. Are you open to stay at the house of anyone from any creed or? I'm down for whatever, man. You know, I'm excited just as long as it's free.

Stay with, like, stay with a gay couple that fucks. I don't have a problem with that. That's their life, you know. But it's a bunk bed, your bottom bunk. They're fucking on the top. That's probably, I'd rather pay the 500 and I, for sure. Okay. Where are you flying into? It's homophobic. Memphis.

You fly to Memphis. You get your hotel in Senatobia, a 30-minute ride, bang, bang, boom. Yeah, could do that. We got, I've got my, we got the airport ride lined up. Why don't you rent like, uh, airport ride? Why don't you rent a, you? No, that's big. Dude, the airport ride's big because we're flying out at 645 Sunday morning to get back for

rent a car. 4.30 in the morning. Why don't you get a, like, camper van? I hadn't thought about that. I like that idea. You and Tate in a camper van. All he's going to do is trying to find a friend with a camper van now. would be awesome.

Hmm. I'm open to anything. I'm excited to get there. Except just buying yourself a hotel. What's the most you spent on a trip that you remember? What was the trip that you took that almost broke you financially? Without being able to expense anything. I spent a lot when I went to the Super Bowl and the Saints played the Colts.

But that was worth it because the Saints Super Bowl. I mean, I think I had like 7K to my name and I spent $4,000 on it. Wow. But who cares? Because it's a once in a lifetime memory. All right. Have you ever considered that your friends, your dear friends that let you stay at the places, still do it because they're your friends, but maybe you're putting them out a little bit? I have.

Because every time they ask, I'm just like, are you sure? Like, I don't want to cause a strain. I like read, but they still may be wanted to. Do you have a savings account? Do you have savings? Yeah. It's not very loaded up, though. But yeah, I do have a savings account.

Good. Like, how long could you live if you didn't have? this job on your savings probably three to six months not great that's not terrible i've been doing the 401k the whole time here so at least that's good it's a great great barstool benefit yeah amazing okay well good luck mincy thank you but the line flipped from old miss by one and a half to ls u.su by two and a half

yeah because they're way better than y'all are i still count i'm excited count us out we'll see yeah count it count them out Count the reps out. Do you think Lane saw your defense play and is pretty excited? I'm sure he is. But we'll make some adjustments. We've got talent.

Are you going to boo Lane? Yes. But what if it's like, Mincy, meet me on the field out? Oh, the ticket situation. But Lane is possible for your happiest years of your life.

He is. But I can't cheer for him this weekend. I can't. Well, there's not cheering for him and there's booing. I'm going to boo. Oh, fuck. Lane's not watching.

I know. Lane, I don't know how he's going to be able to sleep at night knowing that. Vince's going to boo. Yeah, no. That's going to be told. What were you going to say? You had something loaded up.

Oh, yeah. We figured it out. I might have a buddy that bought, I got to, what a, what a true rebel fan here. A buddy bought 60 of the LSU tickets just to give the Ole Miss people so those LSU fans wouldn't be in there. Your buddy sounds like a huge fucking loser. Oh, yeah, I accidentally missed. Sorry. What?

What? What? That's a huge loser. Your buddy sounds like a huge fucking loser. What was that? Bradson. Try to say he was a fucking loser. Oh, my Lord.

God damn. No, that's a huge loser. Use your last time out, Brandon. I'm out. Your buddy. Your buddy sounds like a room. Brandon's the one who said the slur. Wow.

All right. I didn't say a slur. TJ, can you play the tape? Nick, why is it always you? Yeah. By the way, we'll do, Mincy, you are dismissed. Okay.

You all have a lovely weekend. Yes, you too. Luck. Take care, Mincy. Rises. There's something for everyone when it comes to Rises. We love Rises. The 1-1 of candy.

It is the absolute best. If you did Mount Rushmore of candy, it would be Rhesus, peanut butter cups. The Oreo ones are incredible. We get the Rieces lounge upstairs. Rees' sticks also might go-to. We love Rieces. They are like the Indiana, 2020-25 Indiana Hoosiers of Candy. Wow.

Undefeated. Wow. Undefeated National Chaz. 16 and O, huh? Of candy. Reese's, the official candy partner Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. We love Reese's.

Hmm. I don't think you guys got the second story. Yeah, but it was just a really good. It was just a brag. Only designed to make him look good. All are. Danny nailed it. It was the beginning of the story.

There was no end. And he was just, every time. His friend lied to him. You know, I'd be curious. to see these people who he asked to stay at their house for multiple days. He calls them their buddies, but like how close? Because he didn't have that friends. Has he not seen him in like 20 years?

That's got to. But whenever you ask his, what's your ticket situation? What's your living situation? How are you getting there? It's always my buddy this. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I think my buddy is the guy he met one. I want to get, I, I might let them expense a camper band.

Because that would be. You're not getting that security. Awesome. back awesome them staying in a Walmart parking lot Mincy is oh brandy

would they have to drive from here there's an RV lot there's an RV lot yeah at every SEC school is an RV that would be sick but they probably they're probably full so they would have to stay like a state

park great I don't know state park or what is worth mincy would hate that mincy he would hate that hates yeah

hates yeah I mean you could just stay in Memphis or can you just stay with people who go there who aren't in a frat if you were a college kid you and your boys got together

you would want him to stay out of place right you got to get mincy to your apartment yeah you got to get mincy to the frat house I don't know what that frat house is doing there's like a if you let mincy stay at your house there's like a 10% percent chance in a job. That's what I'm saying? We got to let this dude crash in a play.

It's a no-brainer. I have no idea why that friend house would be like, oh, no, you can't stay here. You're serious? It's got to be the filming thing. Yeah, right. Just tell him about the filming there. But like some senior who has an apartment with his boys. Right.

I mean, yeah. Here's a couch, Mincy. That would be the most exciting weekend of my life. Yeah. Reach out to tape. It's like Penn Mince? I don't know. Maybe I got to stop being such a fan.

You are a fan girling right now. Yeah. TJ, did that guy join or no? Hello? Oh, it's a guy who caught the ball. Oh, yeah. Dude. Hi.

What's your name? My name is Joe. How are we doing? Joe, we were talking about it. That was the coolest moment of all time. Are you still living off that high? Yeah, it feels like it's not going away, so it's pretty awesome. We actually just went to the game yesterday.

The socks had us. out so pretty cool. Fuck yes. Yeah. Did your mind just go blank and it just happened to land in your hand or are you trying to get that? We were walking down. There's like a bar underneath right field and we were just walking down the steps and I

saw Colson swinging and I was like, I'm going to stop for a second and then he smacked it right at me. I was like, oh shit, this is coming right at me. And then I just... It's your reaction. Your reaction was the best. part like obviously the catch but the reaction dude how quickly did your phone start blowing up like a few minutes after i turned to my my friends and my wife and i was like do you think that's

going to go viral like that was pretty sick that was pretty sick that was pretty sick now did you when the ball's coming at you were you thinking you never thought like two hands no because i mean i play baseball so like i normally catch with my left hand right but Yeah. But with a glove. Yeah. But yeah, that's my catching hand, I guess. Did it hurt?

Surprisingly, not at all. Oh. What a badass. Man. I think that's all the questions we had. Yeah. We honestly were just like, that guy's the coolest guy ever. That must have been the coolest moment.

Like one one adult moment you could have. Yeah, pretty sick. Should I, could I plug my TikTok account so I can, I play men's league and I hit bomb, so. Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh. Yes. two videos on there.

We're going to watch you. Let's hear on the second. Please tell us what it is. Yep. It's Sloppy Joe with three P's and three W's. Okay. Sloppy Joe and three Wives. And wait,

you cut out. You said you hit bombs? I try to, yeah. Nice. Fuck yeah. 60 inch? No,

just men's like baseball. Oh, oh, oh. Sloppy Joe. How fast are guys pitching? Like 70 to 80. Oh,

you're fucking putting that on the moon. Yeah, exactly. all right my two videos all right we're watching it oh yeah it sound oh look at that walk sloppy joe

you're a beast wait where are you going everybody yelling oh you got to walk down I love the shit talk yeah wait I love the crowd is just like oh oh something in your breakfast

yeah what was in your fucking yeah I was trying to I wish I could done batting practice. We were at the Soxium. They let us come out for a batting practice. And I was like, that'd be sick. They let me hop in. But Steve. We got to, yeah, we got to get you into battering practice. We could get. But yeah. But yeah. Thanks, Joe. Yeah. Get back to your podcast. Appreciate you guys having me on. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, Joe. You're the man.

Yeah. See you. Yeah. See you. Dude, he talked to you guys. He's bombs. Yeah, he does. That sound of that first one was played again. I thought he was plugging like a he does content or something. No. There's just two videos. No. I just wanted to show his ball. I also want to say, like, our entire discussion,

that might be the guy. Like, the best life. Like, just, like, kind of anonymous, but hits bombs on the weekends. It's caught a home run. His boys. Yeah. His boys are like, oh, my God,

that feeling. Like, put together guy, has a wife. It's bomb. A cool guy wouldn't be. like yeah that was fucking sick right i can't believe i did that right he might have one one life it's like what are you doing this weekend joe i don't know i'm probably gonna get a couple bombs try to get the footage from yeah we got three videos of this guy manager of the field all three of

them are just the best awesome man yeah bombs did you guys see roquan smith's quote where he he said that he was like our offense is set up we can like run or we can throw it like we're gonna go bombs over bad dead with them and then he clarified the quote and he was like just so we're clear I'm not talking about outcast I'm talking about the war Roquod says said Lamar Jackson the Ravens office can beat defenses with their run

game or go bombs over Baghdad he later clarified he was referencing military military history not outcast war I'm talking about actual war people talking about the war talking about lives lost not the song talking about lives lost we're talking about dead

Talking about innocent death. Talking about thousands. We're not talking about music. No, catchy song. Innocent lives. Talking about children's explode. Getting destroyed. Oh, man.

Civilian death. Jake Magan might have just saved a woman's life at the game. He had a catch in foul territory. It was about to head a woman's head. And he just now? Made a great catch, yeah. Highlight play. Sweet.

Cubs have to win. They have to win. We're in must win. win, Terry. Well, the pirates literally can't lose again. The Cubs have to start winning games now for my mental health. And Tides, we're at the point now where we're not going to get any home playoff games. We might not even be in the playoffs.

Octagonally, might not. I've started to, I've been, like, laughing when anyone's like, well, they're not going to make the playoffs. Like, huh, yeah, right. Now I'm starting to be like, wait a second. That could happen. Yeah. One, one, tied. They're not. They're, they're, they're, the Cubs are really, really, really, really fucking

good at baseball they just don't win well no they're really good at baseball outside of pitching a baseball yeah that's what i'm saying they're good at they're really really part of baseball they're really really really good at hitting hitting hitting defense base running at but throwing the ball to the catcher at baseball they just don't win the games yeah that's pretty frustrating very all right let's spin the wheel good show guys see every monday uh tune in uh brandon and i will be in ann arbor we'll be doing doing the Barstool College football show, then Big Noon right after that. Have fun.

You get ice cream right? Good. If we get there in time, yeah. Mostly Sports video with Nick and KB and Che as well in it. Hour and 20th and video. Premiering immediately after this from the national show. It was a fun one. It was really fun.

Love it. Dry. Hey, we're about to kick you over to the Mostly Sports Scavenger Hunt. It's a fun one. Hour and 20. Take you into the weekend. All right. See you Monday.

Love you guys.