The Yak - We're Building a College | The Yak 10-18-22

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Yo JudiYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo! Hello, everyone. Hello. I'm back. Hello, welcome back. Missed two shows. I missed you guys dearly. Yeah, damn. Felt bad that I was gone.

Oh, no, no, no. But here I am now. I'm back. You find us a fucking office? I looked for an office yesterday. I was in, I did, uh... I actually like, I've always wanted to do it. I boarded a plane with no bags. Whoa. And the guy was like, you got no bags. He assumed you're a terrorist.

Yeah, definitely. And it was. Yeah, I went. I flew. Got up. Flew at like 8 a.m. Got back at like midnight last night. And yeah, we got some sick looking fun factory offices.

You're going to have a car? Dude, there's options where we will have a lot of room for activities. Indoor bocce? Indoor bocce court? Sliding board? Eddie already asked that and I said, yeah, we have room. It's a sliding board. I think a slide.

Oh, a sliding board. Sliding board. Pete tried to put it. Pete took us through and was like, I'm going to show you guys. I think we saw like seven different places. Second place he showed us, he's like, this is my personal favorite. It was just identical to this place. I was like, why would we just live in a cage again?

He just wants to bury us in a white box. Just have us die attached to our tent. He likes to cage the animals, doesn't tent. He likes to cage the animals. Loves to cage the animals. Loves to. He just doesn't. Where'd you look in Chicago? All over, pal. Actually, not too far from your old stomping grounds. Nice.

You're an alumnus. What? Honorary. An alumnus? Yeah. You should finish school. We should put that on the wheel. Yeah, that would suck. That has to finish school. How many credits are you short?

Almost all of them. God, that would be funny. That would suck so much. That's like my worst nightmare. Having to finish school? Having to go back to college. Yeah. You actually, yeah, that's actually incredible to think.

It's not fully off the table. Every now and then my mom will be like, why don't you go back? No way. Oh, yeah. Why? What'll happen when that makes her say that? She doesn't like the idea that I don't have a degree. She's living in 1960.

Yeah. You have a degree, Ron. I do. I do. I'm flush with degrees. I could give you a degree. Need. I do. I do. I'm flush with degrees. I could give you a degree. You need a theater degree from Penn State. What about a degree of hard knocks?

Oh, I should. I should get that. Yeah. You should start a fake university. That would be cool. That is fucking a good idea. You should get like a Trump University type thing. Honda.

Sassy. Academy. How do you get accredited? You don't have to be accredited. Okay, so we have a university, the Yak University. I like Yak U. Yak University. Yeah. Sassy. How do you get accredited? You don't have to be accredited. Okay, so we have a university, the Yak University. I like YakU. Yak University. The wheel decides your major.

No, we do one class a semester and it's worth 20 credits. Let's do Yak University. $500. How many credits do you need to graduate most schools? From Yak University? $2,000. Holy shit. And each semester is $2,000. So you're going to have to pay a lot of money,

but it's spread out. I feel like we could all individually teach a class and have an actual degree program going on. Should we do Yak University? What if at the end of each month there was a test on that month of the Yak and if you pass it, you get a special code to the Barstool

store to a diploma. Something like that, no? You pay us. Wait, we should do Yak University. Yeah, we should. Like we should have once a month one professor, us, has to teach a class.

Yak University. Like with a PowerPoint and everything. Yeah. Yeah, okay. What's the class about? Whatever you want. Can you bring in experts? Can you bring in like extra help? Yeah, why not? Would you request what we teach?

You could decide. You could teach a class on 80s movies. You could, yeah. Oh, okay. You could teach a class on how to piss off the internet with lists.

Yeah. Yeah, I could. Make Sandlot four every time i know well five it's the first lower than that but okay rudy is overrated so terribly remember the titan's just not very good it's not you were an expert in this i got it dude it's not and then we could have it and you could give a quiz at the end like make a list yeah my list class yeah you have to call up all my lists you You have to remember all of my lists. KB, you could do a geography course.

Yes. How would that work? I'm not a teacher. I just like to spout my own knowledge. How does even a geography class work? You just look at a map? They're boring. The ones I took were all about physical geography, like volcanoes and mesas and buttes.

I think it's on you to spout out all the information you want to spout out, and it's up to the student to glean whatever they want to out of that. They figure out what they're learning. It's online, right? We're not going nowhere. No, it'll be in a hall. Yeah, no, it'll be in here.

I feel like if it's online, then it doesn't matter how many people we get. We can charge them whatever we want for it. Let's not do a college. Let's do a high school. Like a GED program. Yeah. Like we just give degrees that are like a substitute for a diploma and a GED.

I think we should do Yak University. I think there's a lot of college dropouts watching us. I don't think there's a lot of high school dropouts watching us. That's a few. A lot of college dropouts watching us, though. Definitely. There's probably a good amount of people in high school watching right now. Yeah.

In high school? Yeah. Sound off if you're underage. Let me hear you. Well, yeah, and say which state you're in so we really know. We can avoid that area. A 14-year-old in Mississippi is not the same as a 14-year-old in New Jersey. That 14-year-old in Mississippi has life experience. Yeah a 14-year-old in New Jersey. That 14-year-old in Mississippi has life experience.

Yeah, has a husband and two kids. Probably has at least one. We're selling paperweights. Yes. We're selling the last remaining piece of yak merchandise that has Owen's face on it, and they are frictionless. If you spin them, they will always keep on spinning until they go off the table. There's an Inception spoiler.

Yeah, put the link in there. I listened to Owen on Tim Dillon's show. What did he say? He rushed it. Is he already there? No, his mic wasn't on, so you couldn't hear anything he said. But Tim was talking to him. I didn't know.

Really? I assume the episode that came out yesterday he's on. He was talking to someone. He was talking to someone. But you don't know for a fact who it was. I don't and the person talking back didn't have their mic on.

Which I assume was Owen. He's a great producer though. He never said the word Owen. He never said the word Owen but he also didn't say anyone else's name. So it has to be Owen. Has to be. I didn't think Owen was starting that fast. I just liked the fact that I didn't get to hear him, but I was like, yeah, he crushed that.

It was definitely Owen. I think Owen just flew back from LA last night. Yeah, he just got back this morning, actually. Was he on more live from Las Vegas? Who? Tim. No, but he had just gotten back from somewhere, so it was definitely a recently recorded episode. Okay.

And Owen had zero lines. That's sick. He had lines. He had lines. We heard zero lines. Correct. His old producer was a good laugher. Owen's got a good laugh.

Owen's a good laugher. He's a good laugher. He's a humble, he's a silent laugher. Let's not talk about this because he doesn't think about us anymore. Why is that piece of shit still on the logo? It's true. Well, that's why you have to buy this last thing. What if we had a new logo?

Oh. New logo. So I'll hit that shit. Oh. That's. Yes. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Kate's still not on. Still no Kate. No.

I think that's just a great running bit. Kate's going to be on the show for 20 years and we're never putting her on the logo. I thought we got another black person finally. No. That's a sick logo. That is a sick logo. Cool sweatshirt, big cat Thank you This is great if anyone says that we are not

If we're not diverse We have an Asian, a black guy And a dead person A ghost Owen would not be going to heaven Why does TJ get to be ultimately the coolest version of himself? That was TJ. He's the only one that's the coolest version of himself.

Yes. He has two pieces of flair. I wish I made this. I just got this morning. He has the Rutgers hat and... Yeah, you shouldn't have two. Well, I have glasses and hat. He has three pieces of flair.

He has the hat, the logo of Rutgers, and his glasses. Yeah, that's three flares. His hat looks real, too. It's like ours is all animated animated and his is a real hat. You text us that new logo? Speaking of hats, I'm wearing a beanie today. This is the first time in two years I've worn a beanie because the last time, Roan posted me on his story right next to that girl who was screaming no

because Trump won. I didn't mean that. Oh, yeah. I've just worked up the confidence. All-time girl. Throw it back on. Were you screaming no? Or was I, yeah, I probably was going through issues at home.

No, no, it's okay, man. I was probably lashing out. You didn't even tag me in it, so I didn't even get any followers. You think, what if someone had followed you because of that? What? He looks like this girl? I gotta follow this guy. He's hilarious. You are beanie presenting too because, as you said

yesterday, you used to skate. Yeah. I think that those are the most beanie wearing dudes. Not anymore. They don't wear that shit anymore. What do they wear? scuffed up hats and shit very loose clothes yeah they wear very loose clothing

yeah this is in again not beanies that's a tight hat okay well who's the beanie culture now? who owns beanies? the Patagonia guys they're like AJR super fans like the

it's like the guys who are entrepreneurs work for themselves yeah people in los angeles in the summertime yeah yeah in the summertime but also like the like it used to be a beanie was like a hipster now it's a dude who lives in williamsburg but it's worth like 100 million dollars yes so nicky bub nick yeah yeah by way, not to go back to the logo real quick, but I think the solution is we need to do an invisible ink, A-T-E, right? Oh, yeah. So that way when people are like,

oh, you don't have Kate on, it's like, dude, look closer. Oh, that's there, yeah. It's an invisible ink. Invisible ink. Black light. Like, if we added Kate, who would we get rid of? The guy that doesn't work here? That makes no fucking sense.

That's crazy and i also men wouldn't think this is a safe space that's true yeah you don't want to ruin that what about you put a mustache on me or something yeah you disguise me i would never work oh if you what if you work uh tj's get up if you also wore that every day I could do that Rutgers bucket but yeah go to the store and buy these sweet-ass paperweights also double down as a nice roller Oh yeah odds right now he goes TJ he bought two and he made it into a fushigi

there for your outdoor desk in case your papers are ever gonna fly away because of the wind. Paperweights are. Anything can be a paperweight. Yeah. Just something with weight. Yes. More paper.

Yeah. A stack of paper. A shitload of paper. Like a phone is the most common paperweight. Yeah. Are you guys, if you're out And like The napkins blow away You go chase them Oh yeah

I make I do the Oh yeah You don't Yeah No I lift like the top Of my ass crack

Off the chair Yeah it's the same move Of like Like Thanksgiving When their dishes Are being done And right at the end You're like

Oh can I Yeah I will run out In the street After those napkins I will kill myself I'm putting my foot right i will i i'm getting those fucking napkins so biodegradable yeah i know but i can't be the guy if it's plastic i'll go get it but napkins are essentially like it's like an interception and i'm just the guy who doesn't want to show up on tape yeah ad so i'll make the move but that's it if i die tomorrow but a bus

hits me just know i was going out for napkins. That's crazy, man. I don't want to be that guy. Well, you always have sauces on your face. You need the napkins. You need the napkins, yeah. And also, face? I mean, I've been under a lot of stress lately.

It was happening yesterday. It was going crazy. I don't want to say anything. It's just face. I just say it. I just point it and I go face. I have a lot of stress lately. It was happening yesterday. It was going crazy. I don't want to say anything, but... It's just face. That's gross. I just say it. I just point it and I go face. I had a lot of stress.

You look so good with a beard. Yeah. I know it's really dumb to shave it off, but I hate... Wait, so what is it? What is it? Get over it. It's whatever it is. And I was managing it for about a month, but then I had a rough, stressful weekend.

So things are... But anyway, yeah. It's face. Bad face. I got a bad face. Why was it stressful? I just had a stressful weekend. weekend. But anyway, yeah. Bad face. I got a bad face. Why was it stressful? I just had a stressful weekend. I got some things going on. Your life's gone to shit since you got paid.

It really has. It really has. It's been the worst year of my life. It's a curse of money. Give it all back. It's not even that much money. We're talking about... It's not enough money for a curse.

Are we talking about the shaved beard or the red? We're talking about the red. The red. Okay, good. His face. His face sucks right now. I like that you did say there's two things. Well, because then it could be about a shaved beard.

It's symmetrical. You could see the red more. When you shave the beard, the red comes out. It was bad timing on this one. Yesterday, I was looking at you the whole show. I was having a real bad day. I felt like I was like... You ever been in a grocery store when you're a little kid

and you see a person with a disability? Yeah. Can't stop staring at them? Yeah. That's what I felt like yesterday. Yeah. Couldn't stop looking at your red nose. My grade school friend Tom Leonard pointed out a woman

when he was a toddler and was like, look at how fat she is. I love that shit. Yeah. And his mom was like, maybe she doesn't want to be so fat. And he was like, well, why did she eat so much? Kids are so funny when they're that age. Yeah. And his mom was like, maybe she doesn't want to be so fat. And he was like, well, why did she eat so much? Kids are so funny when they're that age. Yeah.

They're just, I think I've said this, but my son, we saw twins the other day. He's just like, what are those? Pointed right at them. That's good. That's funny. Twins need to be shamed. Yeah, they do. Twin day.

Especially after twin day. Oh, that couple just put their Halloween costume post up. Oh, we got to see it. It's sweet. Already? Yes. It after twin day. Oh, that couple just put their Halloween costume post up. Oh, we got to see it. It's terrible. Wait, already? Yes. Well, they got to have a couple weeks to enjoy the likes and everything. Yes.

Just do it on Halloween. Some people love Halloween. No, no, no. Wait, their costume or their- Their Halloween costume. Yeah. You think you put your Halloween costume? I think somebody who's public facing like that would do it.

No. I forget. I have to look it up. I mean, their whole life is a costume. Let me look. That's true. That? No. I forget. I have to look it up. I mean, their whole life is a costume. Let me look. That's true.

Twins. They better have done something funny with the twins. I might go down to CVS and get me some lotion. No, dude. Oh, dude.

You want to get some cilantro? You told me that. That didn't work at all. Want me to order you some Lomo? That would help, huh? Yeah.

All right, I'll get you some Lomo. Oh, no, don't get him nothing spicy. If you get him something spicy, it flares him up. Get him a nice wheel of cheese. At Sailor Twins. S-A-L-Y-E-R.

Twins. What was the name of the TLC channel conjoined twins? They were teachers. Oh, yeah. Rebecca, maybe? And they would fuck and they would like. One of them was dating. The other one, not as much.

She would go on dates. She was there. But she wasn't dating. Third wheel. Do you want daddy to get you some Lomo? Kind of, yeah. I'll get some Lomo. They were teachers, though.

They had to have heard so much shit. Hey. Oh, no. Emirates flight attendants? Yes. What the fuck? They're pilots and flight attendants? Yes. What the fuck? They're pilots and flight attendants. Were the babies luggage?

What were the babies? I don't know. I didn't get that part. I think they're totally separate costume, which makes no sense to me. No, I think they're Emirates. Or no, maybe they're not. Maybe they're just Jasmine. Oh, they're the babies.

That's just- What are they, bunnies? Are they mice on the airplane? I'm telling you, right is more attractive than left. It's got to piss her off. Yeah, I think you're right. Or are they supposed to be i dream of genie i think oh why is she looking like that do you think these people know that we've talked about them i don't know the dads look like they could be stoolies but no we don't have any twins and no twins listen

to barstool no i actually had someone reach out who is friends. They're a Yak listener who's best friends with one of the guys who organizes the Twinsville Twins Weekend. And was like, I can hook you up if you want. It's not a hookup. What does that mean? What can I hook you up with? I don't know, but I was interested. A twin.

He'll introduce you to your twin. He'll build me my twin. I like the idea, because the last thing we sent you to was a dick-sucking fest. That's true. It's true. That's true. I feel like she's introduce you to your twin. He'll build me my twin. The last thing we sent you to was a dick sucking fest. That's true. We got VIP passes for the twin fest. Backstage. Let you touch them.

Abby and Brittany, Nick. Abby and Brittany. They still I love that y'all. Live or conjoined? Kind of one and the same. Yeah. Are they still kicking it?

I hope so. I'm sure they are. They probably have twice the life expectancy. How could you be sure they are? Because why would they croak? He's trying to make us feel better. I like that.

I follow this set of conjoined twins on TikTok. Why do you follow these people? I don't know. But they're genuinely very funny. And the one has a smoking hot boyfriend. What? Yes.

They both have a smoking hot boyfriend. I guess. But the one said they answer everyone's questions. And on dates, they kind of put up a little... What are they joined by? It's their heads. And then they come together at the chest. So they share a body, but then they separate.

Boy, I don't want to judge anybody, but I do feel like he could probably do better. They're very funny. They have a great personality. They don't have that great of a personality. They have one body? Yes. They share organs. I don't think that's a conjoined twin, then.

I think that's a person with two heads. No, they have two separate... I feel bad for the one who is left out of the dates by a fucking curtain. No, you know he's... Would it be fucked? Oh, he is. It's live porn.

The one is just a head, it sounds like. Yeah. Would it be... Oh, you think the other one has the body? Would it be inhumane to just make the head comatose so you can be more independent? I bet the head controls the left side or something. I bet it's left and right.

You think? That's my guess. I don't understand any of this shit. It's awesome. They're very funny. They're a delight. Okay, we're fans of that. Have you shared any posts on their joint Instagram?

It would be funny if they didn't share an Instagram. Yeah, and followed each other. Yeah, would they want something separate? Stop listening. Stop listening. They want to live ordinary lives. Abby took Brittany out of her bio. They're elementary school teachers.

They're what? 32 years old. They teach elementary school. Two different classes. Okay. Good for them. Good for them. I'm happy for them.

Yeah. I'm sure the kids are rational when they see them for the first time. Yeah, I'm sure the kids. Where's all the guy for the first time. Yeah, I'm sure the kids... Where's all the guy conjoined twins? Yeah, why don't they make those? They do. They brawl out. There was, like, the video of the two of them, like,

sitting on the living room floor just fighting each other. What? There's these two conjoined twins. I guess one conjoined twins that are... A twin. Yeah, conjoined twins that are... that they just brawl out with each other. They're a little bit ornery. I mean, I'm sure that's not the case for all of them.

I feel like if you're conjoined, it's in your best interest for the other person not to ever get hurt. Right. For you to hurt them is... Right. Yeah, I don't know. Do you feel that? Do you feel the pain? You feel it, but you got to drag his ass around.

Shit blows my mind. I bet you do drive each other fucking nuts. All right, break it up, guys. They have to separate them. Trying to. Get in a fight. It would suck because I'm a side sleeper. What do you do?

You're not a tummy boy? You're not a tummy boy. I thought you were a tummy boy. I know you'd think. With my little butt propped up. Yeah. You got a little pillow under. I know you'd think. With my little butt propped up. Yeah. You got a little pillow under your dick. You'd think.

Just come in and your little... You fucking wish. Did you guys talk about James Corden yesterday? Because that's my favorite story. Yes. I don't even know. What happened? Careful. Canceled.

Careful. Why? That's my friend. Oh. James Corden? He always has been. Careful. Why? That's my friend. Oh. His name's Gordon? He always has been. Always friend? Always meaning what?

No, he's not my friend. Did you write for his show? Yeah, I wrote for his show. You just trashed your friend for the whole episode yesterday. Trash? Who did? You. He did.

When? Fireman friend. Oh, your fireman friend. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait. Well, that's an actual hero. Do you know him? I mean, I wrote for the show.

I wrote a couple segments on his show and then wrote for Drop the Mic, which is a show he executive produced. So I worked with him. You have his number? I've been on a group chat with him, so, yeah, I probably could find it in my phone. It would be a shame if that fell into my phone. What did he do? He got 86th from a restaurant althazar got kicked out for life which is kind of a badass thing yeah but uh turns out he's kind of a dick which i always thought he was yeah yeah me too i will

say the descriptions from the owner of what he did didn't feel like it rose to the 86th. I agree. It didn't feel like it rose to ban-worthy stuff. He was just an asshole to the waitstaff. He said he was the most rude customer. He was supposed to have something with yolk and there was a little bit of egg white in them.

Egg yolk omelet. The fattest thing I've ever heard. Strictly yolk. Strictly yolk. I got mad that there was some white in there. Ah, shit. And then the other one was there was a hair in his foot and he

flipped out. I've always not liked him just because he's British. He's so funny. No, he deleted the tweet, but it was one of those moments where Oh yeah, you said this. Barstool Sports posted, like, some... I think it was a fat person in the gym. Everyone was like,

this is fucked up, don't post this. And he came in, like, 24 hours later, and he's like, Barstool Sports, disgusting. It's like, fuck you, dude. You're just coming in for the free congratulations. Pylon. Yeah. Yeah, he...

But the guy who owns the restaurant in K. Marco's blog, which I thought was very good, he said that he loves Ghislaine Maxwell and Dee Allen. The restaurant owner who banned him is also like, wow, he owns a bunch of big restaurants. Might be problematic in and of himself. Whoa. He loves Ghislaine.

He owns a lot of restaurants. Ghislaine is smoking hot. I might be on his side on that one. Big old titties on her. Yeah, sass. Big fat titties. Fuck that shit, sass. Let's put her on the logo.

Yeah. I don't think I know what she looks like. What? She grew her hair out. She was just in the news again because she's getting a new hairstyle. In jail? Yeah. Is she a trendsetter now?

I guess so. It's like a cute little bob on that lady. But it's long now? Is that what you're going for? The jizz line? Yes. I'm trying. She's been a bob person for a while.

It was like the shorter mom cut. Now she's like growing it long, I guess. Prism will change you like that. Yeah. Hairplanes you got. Bob person all up. Damn, dude. Has James Corden said anything about this?

It sucks because they made it seem like he was a very often, or like he was a frequent customer at this restaurant, or this guy's whole slate of restaurants, and now he can't go to any of his favorite restaurants in the city anymore. That sucks badly. Did you guys see the other story that piled onto that story today? No. Where somebody said in 2017 they were on a plane with him, and there was a woman and a baby.

The baby was crying, and they pointed to an empty seat beside James Corden, and everybody said, oh, no, he's going to have celebrity freakout, and he didn't. And the baby cried the whole time. He just put down his sleep mask, went to sleep, and slept the remainder of the flight to London. When they got there, the woman got up and said, are you not going to help me at all i can't get my stroller down and he he didn't move didn't help anything it was his wife and baby holy shit really that's yes that's crazy that's oh my god that's insane i saw that story linked to this story

this is nuts and there isn't't, that isn't verified. It was just like a- Yeah, I mean, those are tough because anyone could just say like, oh, I saw this person, he was a dick, but that's just a, that's well, like that's good writing. Yeah. It's great. It was a well-written, yeah. It didn't tell me about the, it was his until the very end.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it probably sucks because you can't really refute any of these claims, but I just, I have never been a James Corden fan, and that's why I secretly kind of hate Roan, too. No, me and him got crazy bred together. Yeah? Me and Corden were fucking caking together. You ever hang with him?

Like, I was at a party he was at. You're now Katy Perry to his Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. He's always been nice to me. Always been nice to me. He's been super sweet to me. He's just such a sweet guy.

The first time I met him, he came up to me and grabbed my chest from the front and back and was like, big fan. Whoa. He showed me like this.

He was like, big fan. That's all I need. I don't care how bad of a person is if they're nice to me or express something like that. I don't care how bad of a person they are.

In. I can't. I can't get past the mental barrier of disliking someone who's're nice to me or express something like that. You don't care how bad of a person they are. In. I can't. I can't get past the mental barrier of disliking someone who's only nice to me. I also think James Corden has like, if you ask British people, they're like, that guy sucks. So there's something up. Yeah. There's always been something up.

Well, it's tough to find his fans. Yeah. Yes. Good point. Facebook. Huh? What? They unbanned him. Oh, yeah. Huh? What? They unbanned him?

Oh, yeah. They made friends. What the fuck? See? He's a good guy. See, my friend's unrequited apologies, too. I think this is that owner realizing that he put himself out there with the... Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You know what? It's all good. Never mind. Never mind. Whoops. I kind of like James Corden, his carpool character. Okay.

There we go. Yep. I don't think any of the late night guys are funny. No, no. Wait, so what did James Corden just call me and apologize for? That's the picture that he used. Yeah, it's such a funny picture. That's what he posted?

No, no, that's what the Balthazar guy posted. The Balthazar guy's verified? Oh, yeah. Dude, this guy is. I'm on Corden's side. That doesn't need to be in public. That's the other one he posted. What the fuck? That's awesome. That doesn't need to be in public. That's the other one he posted. What the fuck?

That's awesome. He loves pixelated-ass pictures. He said he's a hugely gifted comedian, but a tiny cretin of a man and the most abusive customer. An apology doesn't fix that feeling. Tiny cretin of a man. Yeah. He's a tiny cretin of a comedian and a huge man. Yeah, that's true.

And then seven hours later, it was like, hmm. Just kidding. Can I see the apology? I'd like to see it. Yeah, that's true. And then seven hours later, it was like, just kidding. Can I see the apology? I'd like to see exactly what he said. Also, who did he apologize to? He was rude to the servant, not to the owner.

That's true. Good point, Zaha. Ah, excellent point. James Corden just called me and apologized profusely. Okay. I fucked up myself more than most people,

mainly being good friends. Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. Read that. Read that. All right, wait. Read that. Read that. All right, wait. So if James Corden lets me host his late-night show for nine months, I'll immediately rescind his ban for ballpark. Oh.

Oh. No, of course not. Oh. This guy is playing too much. Yeah, I don't like him. I hate this guy. This guy is playing too fucking much. We got to cancel this fuck.

Too many butts here. Yeah, he is- Come on over to the Corden side, my friend. No, I don't want to- Oh, yes. I don't like Corden. Yes. Not over to the Corden side, my friend. No, I don't want to. I don't like Corden. Not a fan of Corden. He's calling him Jimmy Corden too? Yeah. The Balthazar guy, he's repeatedly backed Woody Allen, Jeffrey Epstein, and

Ghislaine Max. Okay, so this guy needs Corden's side. Oh, can I pick a different side? I just want to be down the middle. I'm picking the side of the waiters and waitresses. Waiters are on cordons? No, no, no, no. They are. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's nothing new under the sun, Brandon. New York City restaurant owner gives cheeky advice to wait staff. This was months ago. Never go home with a customer for less than $500. On the back on Balthazar guy.

That's good advice. That's fucking great advice. Interesting. That's your hero. Shit. Okay. So I think this Balthazar guy has, what a name, by the way. Never buy a celebrity a drink.

Instead, offer it to me. He has multiple pictures bragging about his vasectomies. Multiple pictures? After his vasectomy, he had a dick, pants, or a diaper covered from the waist up and nowhere else. Fuck, so I guess I'm on cordon side. Did you see Balthazar's dick? I didn't see Balthazar's dick. He's wearing like a hospital diaper.

It's up on his Instagram. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He's a fucking wild card, though. It's the restaurant's name. He's not Balthazar. Hey, that looks like you. Stop abortion at the source. Vasectomies are reversible.

This guy is very political. Yeah. That was six days ago Oh, just got Quite the week Oh my god Might be a later Graham though Whose back is that? Whoa, yeah, time out

That's Van Halen's back My boy He had a stroke a week ago A stroke of vasectomy Wow, he's doing the hat trick And he's kicked James Corden out I don't think this guy's brain is working He had a stroke a week ago. He had a stroke of vasectomy. Wow. He's doing the hat trick. And he's kicked James Corden out. I don't think this guy's brain is working. You know who else I love to follow on here?

Another delightful is that Wayne Diamond guy who came in here. He's very political, but he's in Uncut Gems, the older fella. Uncut Gems? He came in here once on Barstool Breakfast and got ripped. But he is fascinating. Who's Wayne Diamond? Can you look up Wayne Diamond on it he's very political

but he's like the oh yeah yeah I know this guy yeah he's like a New York City legend kind of like just one of those New York City characters that's always

around but whenever he pops up like his post today was like just a snapshot of his him googling himself he's like I just love googling myself

yeah that's it he's like all the time uncut gems yeah I love that guy safe search off myself. Yeah, that's it. Uncut Gems. Yeah. Safe search off. What a legend. Wayne Diamond.

Alright, so we're on Corden's side? No, I don't commit to that. That's tough to say. Isn't he retiring soon? Yes. How old is he? He's exceeding the spotlight. He's probably going to go to his.

I guess 42. Oh, that's. I was a guess. Much older. Much older. Older. Much. But a little bit older.

46, you think? Probably maybe. I feel the same about both of them, I feel like. I'd like to know James Corden. He's 44. Wow. Let's hear the late night guys. What is the.

Conan. Huh? Conan. Conan. Well, we're going through history because Conan's not late. I don't know history... Conan. Huh? Conan. Conan. Well, we're going through history because Conan's not late night anymore. I don't know history.

I don't even know who's... Carson's number one. Who watches these shows? Well, it's Colbert, it's Kimmel, it's Corden. Seth Meyers. They all have gotten

to Meyers. They're all terrible. They're all too political. I watched Conan religiously growing up. I did too. But that's about it. Conan's very funny.

Do you like Fallon? Fallon is too jokey. Fallon's too goofy and stupid. I love Fallon. I did too. But that's about it. Do you like Fallon? Fallon is too goofy and stupid. I love Fallon. Carson Letterman. Fallon did not like me. Fallon's the worst. Really? Oh, he did not like me.

Oh, I forgot about that. Fallon's way worse than Kimmel, in my opinion. I agree. Yeah. Fallon's bad. I've met in person as lovely as Seth Meyers. He's a very nice guy.

He seems all right. He's just like, he's like for baseball. He's replacement level late night host. That's not a bad or good thing. He's just like, he's like for baseball. He's replacement level late night host. That's not a bad or good thing. He's just. He's the Mickey Morandini. I think he's just.

You just put him in and he'll get you exactly zero war. Yeah. But you guys just were so happy to be on Seth Meyers' side, but not James Corden. You're still on this Corden thing. Because she had a good interaction with him. She had one good interaction. And I had a good interaction with him. He had one thing on this goddamn Corden thing. And I had a litany of good interactions, and you just take her word for it.

Yeah, but he paid you. Yeah, he did pay you. He paid you. He didn't get paid. And that's a good interaction. Wouldn't you love to get paid by him? I'd love to get paid. Well, you took your mask off yesterday.

You're a bad guy, Ron. You're a bad guy. I'm still on this goddamn Corden thing. I know. My scumbag shit. Reveal yourself. I know. What'd you do?

I unmasked as a scumbag. Oh. That wasn't really necessary. That wasn't unmasking to me. I'm saying, yeah, I said in polite society, I pretend not to be a scumbag. You are fancy presenting at times. At times, yes.

I'm saying it. I described it as how autistic people can mask their autistic traits. I mask my- Well, your Philly shows. Yeah. A little bit of the shine wears off. Say that like Sammy Davis Jr. A little bit of-

That's Max. That's a weird way to say that. New PMT producer, sometimes his Philly shows, and I have to tell him to tuck it back in. Tuck it back in a little bit. Kind of suck your gut in. You're yelling at a small child. Yeah. Tuck that Philly back in. Tuck it back in a little bit. Kind of suck your gut in. You're yelling at a small child. Yeah. Tuck that Philly back in.

He's a top three fan in the office. He just screams and it's awesome. Just like we'll just hear from him. As far as people, if you could measure how much you cared about a team or a city's teams, I think it's him at the top. Did you watch his video from the,

like I still don't, can you pull up his video from Saturday? I've never seen someone so excited but also look like they're on the verge of tears. It's just a mesmerizing video. Is he sweaty in it? He sweats.

Yeah. Oh my God. Ready? Oh, he's too dry. Look at him. Turn it up. Looks like he's about to cry. He is about to cry.

Yeah, he could be. We're talking about the fighting! The fighting! He threw his friend's hand off him so he could scream harder. He wants to cry. You look like a soldier listening to an address from his general. That could be a reaction for anything. Anything.

Anything. Yeah. I just want to, can we cut that out in green screen and just put him in front of things? It'll make perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. Honey, pizza rolls are ready. Yes.

Sad. There he is. Put it back up. Put it back. Look how shy he is. Yes! Sad. There he is. Put it back up. Put it back. Look how shy he is. This is baseline. Put it back up. He's nervous.

Now put it on the screen. You. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Look, look, look, look, look. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Look, look, look, look, look. We're talking about the fighting! The fighting! Sad! Sad!

Sad! David! Can you, Roan, can you back me up that the sad is like a normal thing? Of course. Of course. This is all up. I was just saying that it's a mesmerizing video. I was saying yesterday that my Philly shows that my little inner scumbag comes out from time to time.

And Big Cat said that he's witnessed the same thing of you sometimes. That your true Philly colors kind of bleed out through your professionalism at times. I love it. Yeah. Well, the timing of how I've joined part of my take and Philly's sports has erupted has really been a weird coincidence. And yeah, it's big moments. I've been seeing big moments and now every Eagles game is your ride or die

with every play. Yes. And the Phillies and the Sixers. Quite a time to be alive. And the Union. And we went to darts that time. Have you seen that? No And we went to darts. Have you seen that video?

No, show that to me. I mean, I love the passion. We all had special darts shirts, Newport, chairman of the board. I may have had a couple of beers. Dark followers. I have the most fired up for darts. Here we are migrating. It's Philly showing.

It's a great. The only time I tell him to tuck it away is if small children are around. Other than that, I want his Philly to show. Can we see the walk again? The darts, darts, darts. Darts, darts, darts. I think there was also a video of you getting on a boat that I saw. And I was like, did he fall in?

You were like, nah. You were just that sweaty. But if I walked up like that to the Yankees game, Sash would talk about it for 18 months. But it's great. It's like the Philly the essence of the Philly fan is always sort of wrestling

and you know what I mean? Like kind of... That's why I got along with Corden. Just grabbing. We're a different breed. Just grab him. Russell touched me. Yeah. All right. We're a different breed. We're a different breed.

I love it. I want to see that darts walk again. Can you darts walk to lunch, please? Yeah. Yeah, do it out here. Do it out here. That was the most wholesome day. It was like refreshing and following.

Wait, hold on. TJ's going to walk out. Do it. He got it. All right. Darts. Do it. He got it. All right. Josh! Josh! We're walking, man.

Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! That's hilarious.

He's Chris Farley-ing. And he came from like a block away like sex. The dark follow is like one. And he came like from like a block away like that. I am most fired up for dark, Johnny. Max is a legend. What were you about to say, Brandon?

I was just going to say episode one of Pat Bev Podcast. Viral. I've got it queued up. Didn't the first episode actually drop now? He's everywhere. I talked about it on ESPN. Und't the first episode actually drop now? It's everywhere. I talked about it on ESPN.

Undisputed. It's got to feel good that now you know that every ESPN head and everyone on that level has to consume it on a weekly basis just in case something pops up. I got a message from somebody that works at ESPN saying that they appreciated it, but they knew that the ESPN people were watching, so they couldn't interact with it positively. Wow. Which is funny. Scott Van Pelt said that? No, he would never. He's nothing but supportive in the most outwardly ways

of someone else. That's got to feel cool, though. You basically set the narrative for the day. You basically made their job yeah easy yeah and now and i can talk shit on them i could be like you're you guys are dickheads like you guys are fucking stupid dumbasses like about skip bayless and stuff like that and they still have to talk about yeah just start wearing like secret codes on your shirts yeah like a swastika yeah like a swastika what do you mean like a? They'll have to put it on ESPN.

I would just put on an anti-ESPN shirt. Yeah, but have it be jumbled or something. Something that they can't quite figure out right away. Or maybe if we hold a red film to the television, you could see the message that lies beneath. Yes, like the Kate Secret Ink.

You could wear the shirt you have with the swastika crossed out. Oh, yeah. You're anti-swastika. But then they got to make up their call. We got to start doing secret messages. They say it's a bad shirt. I mean, it's not.

It's anti. Then they're anti-anti, which makes them pro. What if it was just a QR code? Uh-huh. Just open to something. Yeah, anything. Could open to anything. Some anti martin luther king website is there one oh dude he used to be his seo used to be terrible if you google martin luther king

it would be and i assume it was by like the fbi or something but it was like recordings of him like cheating it was like all this super negative stuff was the very first thing that came up with Martin Luther King. I don't know if it's still like that. Yeah there is. They used to try and trash MLK which not cool with me. It is weird that like that's

that's people's like argument. They're like Martin Luther King was like slept around. Like yeah and that's why he should have been assassinated. What? That's insane to think of. It was also pre-social media.

True. Imagine if they had Twitter back then. Exactly. MLK would have been going viral. His reply guys. His reply guys. MLK won a Mickey Mouse bubble for civil rights. Mickey Mouse title for civil rights.

Yeah. Dash would be lampooning him on stage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he would. He'd be fucking... He'd get me started. He would. He would have let him.

Thanks, I would say. At the end of it. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? You guys see what Martin tweeted the other day? You guys see what Martin tweeted the other day? Marty? Marty Luther King.

Damn. Sash, when's your next stand-up show? You're taking a couple weekends off? You're going to fucking Minnesota. Yeah. Really? Yeah, that'll be fun. Why did Minnesota get that noise?

Underrated. That's the underrated sound. That's the underrated sound Underrated as hell Yeah it is We went there last time We ate so well at all times They have good cuisine Good folk out there

What is the burger that they have? Juicy Lucy I have a good wing place She's inside there? Yeah Yeah They have a nice Juicy Lucy out there Matt's?

It is Minneapolis is very nice. Have you ever been to Minnesota? No. How do you know? And you're overrated, underrated? Minnesota's underrated as a whole, yeah. Minneapolis underrated.

The North. I think you're just talking about Minneapolis and St. Paul. You're talking about Adina as well. I'm talking about International Falls. You're talking about Dul and St. Paul. Talking about Adina as well. Not talking about International Falls. Talking about Duluth. Duluth. Iron Range. Mankato.

What you know about the Iron Range? Mankato. I don't know about the Iron Range. What about Moorhead? Yeah. They have good seafood up there. Rochester. There's such a high boat population.

Everybody's got, there's good ass walleye up there. You don't lie about the lakes. They got a lot of lakes. Lake's a good-ass walleye up there. You don't lie about the lakes. They got a lot of lakes. Lake food. A lot of lakes. Seafood. Any fish is seafood. I think there's an enclave that's in Canada.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun stuff. And there's a library on the Vermont-Quebec border that is, yeah, it's both countries. Is that rated properly? Some people will go there to meet with family who can't cross borders. Whoa.

Like a cheat code. But what do you do inside the building? Do you cross the border at all? It's both. I have to look into it. How do you know that you're not crossing? This will be in his geography class that he teaches at. Oh, yeah.

And we have to decide. Weird, quirky geography things. Yeah, the Kentucky Bend. Well, every now and then, tubers up there. Like, the wind pushes them to Canada by accident, and then they have to get, like,

tubers. There's, like, a river on the border, and, like, every now and then in the news, like, the wind pushes these drunk tubers to Canada by accident. They can't get back,

and then they have to call, like, the Border Patrol to come get them and bring them around. One side of the town is in Canada. One side of houses, Canada. The houses right across, America.

Canadians get a sidewalk. Americans don't. What? That's freaking telling. Our culture. When I was in Buffalo, you can see they have a little mini border all along the water.

It's crazy. It's like a mini wall, so boats can't go over it. You go to Niagara Falls? No, it's too far away. So if they got in a car wreck in that town, one side would get universal health care and the other would not. Holy shit. Well, Obamacare, I mean. Yeah, but our president never did blackface.

Yeah, that is true. Oh, Obama would have done it. Wait for us. We don't know that he did. Once Jimmy that is true. Obama would have did. We don't know that he did. Once Jimmy Kimmel gets elected. We're all square. There had to have been one. They probably did it in the White House. Yeah.

I mean, Biden's 80. He's had blackface before. He was a dog-faced pony soldier. But his brain just evaporates. He has basically a pitch count. Once he gets above 90 pitches, it's like, get him out of here. He's like a gremlin. He can say anything. He's going to groove a meatball that's going to be hit 500 feet.

Was dog-faced pony soldier, did's going to be hit 500 feet. Was Dogface Pony Soldier, did that used to be an insult or was he still called? It had to have been. That doesn't sound complimentary. The funniest one he did was when he just called the guy fat. He's like, listen, fat.

Yeah. Can you play that clip? Yeah. Even fat? He just, he like blanked out and was like, come on, fat.

I didn't see that. The old one when he like, come on, fat. I didn't see that. The old man when he's talking. Listen, fat. I think the guy was like, he challenged him to like a push-up contest or something. Yeah, what? Who was the fat? It was some reporter. Is it a fat reporter?

Yeah, he like blacked out and he's just like, listen, fat. Sounds like a jazz nickname. Yeah. Come on, fat. Hit me with that. I hope I remembered this correctly, because that is definitely what's in my head. Come on. That's a dope nickname.

Hit me with one. Fat. What it do, Fat? Let's give him something. That's Rhode Island had, was it Fat Russell? Fat Russell's? No, what was his last name? Fat Stomino?

There was Fat Russell. Fat Stomino. It would be checker. Fat Stomino. There's Minnesota Fatats, fictional character. And then there was Fat Lever, a great rebounding card for the Dallas Mavericks. Fats Russell was recently played for Real Fats. Fats Russell was very recently played.

Yeah. Awesome name. Fats. Fats. Awesome. Don't use the name Fats. All right, here we go. Here we go.

Well, yeah, you do. But look, Fats. Look, here's the deal. Holy shit. The way he slid it in there. All right, Fats. Hey, listen, look, here's the deal. Holy shit. The way he slid it in there. All right, Fat. Hey, listen, Fat. That makes it so much meaner.

I wasn't trying to insult him. He was just the first thing he noticed about the man. You did not hear that at all. But you heard. Look, okay, I'm not going to get in an argument with you, man. Well, I don't want to either. Well, yeah, you do. But look, Fat, man. Well, I don't want to either. Well, yeah, you do, but look, man, look.

Awesome. Is that rules? That's awesome. You know that's neurological. Oh, yeah, no, I know. He was thinking of... He has the hardest job in the world because it would be like

trying to communicate like on shrooms every time. And your job is to communicate. You have to put in so much mental effort just to get words out. Listen, Fat. Think they got him on any kind of amphetamines, like Adderall or some shit like that? So much. I've never heard about an elderly doing Adderall.

I don't think it would work. What was in the movie with Jared Leto and his mom is going crazy? It's like based in New York. Requiem for a Dream. Remember his mom? Ass to ass. Ass to ass. I thought you just said ass to ass.

What was the ass to ass movie? In Ass to Ass, the mom starts taking some kind of amphetamine. She gets really skinny or something like that or some kind of speed. Like a diet pill. Yeah, maybe diet pills or some shit like that. She was like watching the commercials. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it was of speed. Like a diet pill. Yeah, maybe diet pills or some shit like that. She was like watching the commercials. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I think it was, yeah, it was showing speed. Yeah, Adderall. Yeah. But that's what I mean. Like that was an old, an example of an old person getting yipped up on shit like that. Yeah, look fat. You've got to have them on something.

I get called fat. Did you guys see the AOC when she was doing, she was like holding a little press. Town hall. Yeah, and they're all, everyone is like screaming at her. That's funny too. Did you guys see the AOC when she was holding a little press conference? Town Hall? Yeah, and everyone is screaming at her. That's funny, too. You see that? Yeah, about Ukraine.

Like, the genocide, the next nuclear war will be on your hands. We trusted you. Yes or no. Yes or no. It's fucking wild. Saying yes or no to someone is hilarious, especially a politician. Also, there's like 30 people there in like this big ass room and they're just destroying her.

It is kind of funny that like all these politicians are just calling Putin a loser. Yeah. That's the one guy you can't really bust balls with. No, no. He doesn't seem like a jokey guy. No, I don't think so. I don't think he jokes. I was thinking the other day, like what's the point of it all for him?

Because it just doesn't seem fun. I think he's dying. When is life fun for Putin? Doesn't he have, like, a party mansion? He has, like, a billion dollar... That was the... There was a reporter who was poisoned and almost killed because he did a big expose on Putin's mansion.

Can you look up the mansion? It's insane. It's got an underground ice ring for him to just score goals. And all these secret helipads and all these, yeah, it's crazy. He's smashing some baddies, isn't he? Oh, for sure. He's crushing really baddies. Does he play hockey in there?

Yeah, dude. Have you never seen him play hockey? He's sick. Do you hire people to let him win? He doesn't hire people. He just wins. Show Putin scoring. He's sick. Do you hire people to let him win? Like, do you pawn? And he packs out? He doesn't hire people. He just wins. Show Putin scoring. He just wins.

Scoring a goal. There's also all those videos of him riding the horses shirtless. Yeah. This is his mansion. It's sick. But he's not laughing. Like, where's the fun? I think he laughs in there.

I don't know. Show him playing hockey. I don't think Russians laugh. No. That's true. It's culturally inappropriate. But they're funny. You're the last bastion of humanity that is still threatening. I don't think Russians laugh. No. That's true. It's culturally inappropriate. But they're funny. You're the last bastion of humanity that is still

threatening. I don't know. Sotopopovsky would laugh at you when he beat you in Mike Tyson's punch-out. Okay. He'd stand over you and he would... That's like a mirthless laugh. That was my 12th best game. Who's like the funniest Russian? Mila Kunis? I mean, Zelensky is

Ukrainian. He was a comedian. Which is Russia, as we found out from Putin. So he is a funny Russian. But even their funny ones are just politicians. That's a good, darty jersey. Dude, look at Putin. He's a fucking... That would be awesome.

He's nasty. Look at this. Look at this. I mean, they're clearly... He's nasty. Snipe. That still takes swag. That looks like the 80-year-old that runs for the touchdown at the alumni game.

Look at this. Who's got speed? Wow. Backhand, no problem. Imagine someone lights him up. That's what I was saying. Like, if we want to solve this whole nuclear thing, just let him fucking play in the NHL. Yeah, put him on Ovi's line yeah or to have scott stevens go top deck on the way that goalie was pretending to

have effort there oh what are you talking about brandon that was he's crossed him up my glove hand this is like um steven seagal beating people up but this is this is oh yeah they're the best i'm not gonna going to... I think Putin's a bad guy, but if you're rich or a dictator, that's exactly what I would do. That's the dream. I would just go. I'd be like, hey, let's go to a baseball field

and just let me hit dingers. What's a North Korean guy's golf score? Shot an 18. Yeah, 18. Do you guys see Manny Pacquiao's buzzer beater the other day? Oh, yeah. He was in a Filipino league. Dude, this is the worst form.

Yes, but they're like, he hit it. Yeah, the crowd goes nuts. Is Putin in his 80s, though? Because I couldn't do that now. Ice skate, the balance. Still do that, yeah. Did you see Martha Stewart the other day? Oh, yeah.

She up, too. She's in her 80s. Thirst trap. Did you see that? Pacquiao right here. Look at this. Round you see that? She's back to y'all right here. Look at this. Down three. Look at the clock.

Look at the defense. The clock just didn't move. Holy shit. Oh! I wish they'd give him four points. That would have been awesome. You got to get him for yak basketball. Yeah.

Work that out. Are we doing that at the thing? We'll let Martha Stewart. We're doing it. Ronan and I will be in suits. Yeah. Are we doing that at the thing? We'll let Martha Stewart. We're doing it. Ronan and I will be in suits. Yeah. Are we playing basketball? Playing yak basketball.

And I've already said that there's a chance. So buy your ticket November 11th in Philly. It's going to be great. We have a basketball invitational, two games going on, and yak basketball is going to happen I think in between the games or maybe halftime. Halftime of the first game. UAB Toledo and Mississippi State Akron.

I've told everyone there's a chance it might have to do it again halftime of the second game because we might not finish the game halftime of the first game. We'll finish it no matter what. So if it doesn't finish, maybe we'll have to do it after the games. Yeah, as they're cleaning up, lights going out. I don't think we realize how tired we're all going to be because that is

when we did that it was a very small court wait so I didn't know that we were doing this like in a stadium we were doing this like it's not the only place we could get courts where the Sixers play we should be a team and take on

breakfast club or the Stern Show. But it's Yak basketball. I want to be a team. I want fans to come to this event for the Yak, and we play a different team. Or we could do instead of shirts versus skins, wet versus dry. It would be funny if we played 10 on 2. We might lose.

Yeah. We're going to be running after the ball like little kids in a soccer game. See if George Niang would play us 10 on one. Or two Sixers. Get one of his Sixers buddies. Edwin said he could beat us all one versus five. Ben? I checked his fucking max preps.

He was averaging games per point Also .7 Shit Did you order me a Lomo? Yeah I did Oh yeah that might be it You guys can't I'm just enjoying the natural flavor of pumpkin spice.

A wooga. From Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. Fellas in chat know exactly what to do. I mean, that is like the hottest look. That's 80 plus? Yeah. No, no, no. Okay.

My Green Mountain Coffee Roasters pumpkin spice coffee. I see you. That means they stripped away the artificial and left nothing. Che. Hey, Nate Che. She's 80?

She's in her 80s. Let me look up how old she is. AJ, nothing but a number. Let's clip that. Let's clip that 80s. Let me look up how old she is. AJ, nothing but a number. Sheesh. Yeah, let's clip that. Let's clip that and get that out there. She's 81. AJ, nothing but a number.

Sheesh. 81. Sheesh. Have you seen a clip where Joe Biden goes slow motion in real life? No. Oh, I think I just saw that one. First inheritor of the truth of liberty and justice for all. Wait till he puts his sunglasses back on.

Oh, no. That's kind of badass. Whoa. Look fat. Wow. The best Biden video is the one before he was elected when he uh he's yelling at that like construction worker and they're like right in each other's faces oh yeah yeah you piece of shit there's i got an extra one if anyone else wants a lomo there's one sound clip of him

going viral on tiktok right now that's like if i can give one piece of advice to you for getting things done in your life it's to uh uh yeah the best way to get something done if you hold near and dear to you that you uh would like to be able to i feel bad for him no yeah he just kind of forgets and There should be no presidents over 60 years old. I think they should have to do... I said that. Umpires should be young Koreans with laser focus. Those are the two real rules. Umpires should be 16-year-old Korean super geniuses.

Yeah. What makes you think they have laser focus in Korea? I think they're more focused at a young age. They are. Yeah. Why not use a 28-year-old Korean who's honed his laser focus? I think their eyesight is at its peak. It wanes.

At 16? That's why the gamers, that's why Ninja fell off a cliff. Has he fallen off? Yeah, but he almost died, didn't he? He almost went blind. Wait, what? Are we talking about the same thing? Ninja, the computer game guy?

That was before he was famous, that was. DJ, are we right or wrong? Yeah, he had some sort of eye something before he was ever popular at all. But how did he almost die from it? He didn't almost die. Wait, what happened to Nick Merck? He's just slipping down the ranks of the most popular streamers. There's new metas on Twitch.

There's a bunch of new cats that are coming up. Kai Sinat, your age. Kai Sinat's the one, dude. I like the speed. Bruce Droppelhoff. I like the speed kid. I show speed. Is that his name?

He's entertaining. He's wild. From every clip I've seen. Yeah, he is. I mean, those streamers are just like, that Dream dude did a face reveal, got like 300 million. He was trending. Yeah. He is a very good looking

guy, or normal looking guy. Chill, bro. He just looks like a normal person. Normal looking guy. Normal guy. There's another one. That smells so good. That was the best piece of meat. That smells so good. Do the ad, because you got Lomo. Hold on, I got an extra one. There's another one. That smells so good. That was the best piece of meat. That smells so good. Do the ad because you got Lomo. Hold on.

I got a thing with Roan right now. Yeah, he just bodied you. Why don't we get you some potato pancakes? It took me down for two weeks. You almost killed the man. Do the ad, Brandon. Are you Lomo? This ad is brought to you by Lomo?

What was that noise we also have to decide our uh roles for the calendar coming oh yeah shout out to the yak uh parlay hitting this week did we ever say that oh yeah we literally the only bet i won okay uh which oh sorry guys that money's mine which ad the nascar i've already lost it nascar is back in south florida it's dixie Vodka 400 race weekend. Championship hopes will be on the line with one of the last chances to lock into the championship four. This is the second out of three round of eight races

and the winner will get into the round of four for sure. Watch the stars of NASCAR race to keep their dream alive on October 23rd, this Sunday at 2.30 p.m. Eastern. Again, that's the Dixie Vodka 400. The first time for this particular 1.5 mile venue to have NASCAR's next-gen car. Turn into NASCAR's Dixie Vodka 400 this Sunday, October 23rd, 2.30 p.m. Eastern Time.

That Lomo Saltado bite might have been the best bite of food I've ever had. Took the best bite of the whole. It's so seasoned. It's so grippy with sauce. It's delightful seasoned. It's so... It looks good as fuck. It looks good. It smells good. It's delightful. God damn. Brandon, you are worldly as ever, and I applaud you for introducing our show and our audience to the Lomo Saltado.

And I wonder what will be your next worldly food that you start eating. Anything on the docket? Well, I can't wait, but this food came to me from Mississippi when I was hosting More Cabell, and I had two Peruvian brothers that loved my show. Whoa. And they said, come to my mom's house and eat our Lomo Saltado. Whoa.

I never went, but I did start ordering it. Wow. It's delicious. So you need to have some. I need some more brothers. Or Bhutanese brothers or some shit like that. Peruvians. When the brothers show themselves,

I'll have a new food for you. Yes. Two of them? Two brothers? There's two. Wow. It was Joaquin and the other ones. Are they twins? River? No. River Phoenix.

Fucking shit. Oh, fuck. Fucking shit River Phoenix Oh fuck Fucking shit God damn I can't I can't give Martha Stewart the crown

for the hottest woman in the 80s Who is it actually? Hottest woman in their 80s How old is Heidi Oh no no no

She's Heidi What's her name? Kate McIntosh? What? A Lockhart? Something Lockhart? Locklear? Heather Locklear.

Heather Locklear. No, I don't think she's 80. Christy Brinkley? She's probably like 70 tops. Brinkley and Locklear are in that. I think Locklear is probably 70. I think Brinkley is the hottest for whatever category. She was in her 20s and the 80s.

Is Suzanne Somers dead? What about Sophia Loren? She's not hot. Sophia Loren's a hottie. How old? Remember, She was in her 20s in the 80s. Is Suzanne Somers dead? What about Sophia Loren? She's not hot. Sophia Loren's a hottie. How old? Remember, she was in Grumpier Old Men 2, and she was a smoke show in that movie at age 65. Pull up, Loren.

Look up Sophia Loren in Grumpier Old Men. Oh, she was hot. She was super hot in that movie. Wasn't Ann-Margaret in there, too? Oh, yeah. And those were women in their 60s, and in that movie They were hot Oh you're right Rome

It's so good I yearn to be introduced to another foreign food That tickles my palate like that one Sophia Loren is how old? She's like 90 something now I think Well let's see her as She's 88 She's hot

Back in the day She's 88. She's hot. Back in the day. She's hot. No, she's hot. Back in the day. It's not back in the day. It's now. The Stewart's running laps around. Right now, right?

Who's the hottest 82-year-old? Who's the hottest person in their 80s? Beckinsale. Beckinsale is young. Oh, my God. Who am I thinking of? Sharon Stone? Who am I thinking of?

Nancy Pelosi? The Stewart's got the crown right now. Nancy Pelosi's off? Big ass tan. Who would you want to have the crown? now Nancy Pelosi's a big ass big old man yeah she does no woke shit but it's not a white woman can't be yeah you think it has to be an Asian

or black black or I mean but why not I mean who's taking the crown from Stewart right now though so I'm trying to figure out it can't be

Felicia Rashad used to bring the heat. Betty White, RIP. Not though. No, yeah. No. Yeah, I'm talking about like unanimously. Mr. Rashad's too. I'm thinking of Brinkley when I said Beckinsale.

Okay. Olds Beckinsale. 40? How old Brinkley and how old is Locklear? Data Davidson. I think Brinkley's probably 75. Brinkley's probably like 69. 49.

49 is Brinkley? No. I was thinking of Brinkley. Beckinsale's 49. That's older than I thought. Eminem just turned

50. That's tough. Why? Beckinsale's 49. She was in Pearl Harbor in 2001. She was a mature woman. Dream World, you're all single. Christy Br Pearl Harbor in 2001. She was a mature woman. Dream World, you're all single.

Christy Brinkley, 68. What's the age cutoff for you? Do you have an age cutoff for you? 80? I can't. How old are you? She's into it. She comes on to you.

She's a hottie. Would it bother you? No, that would be. How old am I? What? Am I also 80? No, no, you're you. Okay. Which is basically 80. Like, would it bother you if... Oh, that would be... I don't think... How old am I? What? Am I also 80 or am I... No, no, you're you. Okay.

Which is basically 80. I feel like a guy over, like, 70, I think I'd have a tough time. Yeah. Just old, hairy knuckles. I don't know. I couldn't do it. I don't know. What if it was for, like, the Anna Nicole Smith bag?

That's what I'm thinking. Like, I don't think I could do it. I don't think if they gave me free housing in the Bunny House or whatever, what is it, the Playboy Mansion, I don't think I could. Yeah, I always wondered how that. Fuck you, Hefner. That's not a sweet deal. It's not even good.

What about Tom Selleck? How old's Tom Selleck? He's a handsome man. No, all his hair would be falling out. He's still alive What's the name of that show? The Blue Buds See Tom Selleck

That guy's just 77 years old That's a traditionally attractive old And I bet he could fuck Yeah you're right That's like a jackhammer You would not say no to Tom Selleck Alright touche But he's the only one

He's the only one You wouldn't take a mustache ride off Tom Selleck. All right. Touche. But he's the only one. Okay. He's the only one. This is the first one we found. You want to take a mustache ride off Tom Selleck? Oh, I mean, Helen Mirren is... Oh. She's a baddie.

Buxom. She's beautiful. Helen Mirren, the queen. What else was she in? She gets a movie, any movie she wants every year if there's an old lady character.

Oh, yeah. I love her. 77. She's definitely. Lovely. Yeah, she's lovely. Kind of looks like Martha Stewart, though. Kind of looks like she's trying to steal Martha Stewart's.

No, Martha Stewart would be stealing her look, if anything. What's Helen Mirren? Oh, yeah. She's a very good looking 77. What about Judi Dench? Judi M from 007? She's a dame though. There you go, Sass.

She'll fuck you up. Judy Dench would ride you. I walk into Sass' place and she has him pressed against a wall. Slap in the fucking head. Holy shit. Hit it together, Harry. Judy Dench.

Suck these titties, Harry. That type of shit. Yeah, dude, I fucked Judy Dench last night. She fucked you. Dude, I had a crazy night. Judy Dench came over. She fucked you. Dude, I had a crazy night. Judy Dench came over. She fucked the shit out of me.

All night. We didn't even introduce each other. We just started fucking. You know who was hanging out with the Buffalo Bills the other night? Judy Dench. She was sucking off the whole day. Judy Dench sucked off the whole day. She's a big Bills fan.

All the offensive lineman over here. A sucky bone dry. You have a great British accent. It's so good. Thank you, brother. I don't get to whip it

out that much. Except when I'm talking about Judi Dench sucking off the Bills. She'd do an entire Pat Bev. AJ Epinesa. You do Judi Dench beckoning Devin She'd do an entire pep-ev. AJ Epinesa. You'd do Judy Dench

beckoning Devin Singletary. Come, Devin. Tondra. Tondra. Oh, man. Good shit. That was just good riffing. We should all take a bite of the Lomo Saltado meat. The other one. That was just good riffing. That was some good yakking. Fuck.

We should all take a bite of the Lomo Saltado meat. Yeah. The other one. Maybe we should pass it around. Yeah, pass it around. I said it open. No, Rone's ashamed. Eat it, dude.

I don't want, I will be bogged down. I have other things to do this afternoon. You also added, I think these are empanadas perhaps? Oh, I added them. That's what I said, he. Yeah. Oh, he. Yeah.

He has a name. I'll take an empanada. No, but I said he. I am he. Only one guy that ordered it. I am him. empanada No but I said he I am him Only one guy that ordered it I am him Empanadas are so good So good

I'll get one of those empanadas I'll throw you the bag As soon as it gets his Are they empty? It's just one Does anyone else want it? No Good

No thanks I will take a bite Of that fucking meat You want the loma? Yeah just pass around the meat Dude we'll stab it with a knife We're really bringing a nice spotlight To Peruvian culture

Yeah You throwing out half your empanada? Yeah I don't want to eat the whole thing Why don't you want your empanada? We'll pass around the empanada too then You want me to take down the empanada Or you want it? You got it you got it

Take it down Whack it Take a whack It's warm. It's probably a good thing, right? It's very warm for how long it's been in that bag. Very. Oh, that's good meat.

The meat is so... There's a smokiness to this. Succulent. It's bulking season, brother. Hey, you don't have anything. Merch has asked us to make a yak calendar. Yes. And a wheel is deciding what we're wearing

Oh jeez We're going to do it live on the show So you're going to get to watch us make it Should we pick what goes on the wheel right now? The wheel's already made Already made, brother So we're going to split meat One wheel to decide who is in the month

So we'll do January 1st, obviously I won't be here Monday, but y'all just do it for me No We'll do it Tuesday then. Yeah. And then one wheel for outfit and then one wheel for background. And there's two spots on the personnel wheel for double ups, and then we'll all take one for the cover.

Okay. Today is my last show of the week, too. I won't be here. What the fuck? Hell, I'm flying to Mississippi tomorrow. Mississippi? Why? To do some... To do a video with... Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm going to Mississippi tomorrow. Mississippi? Why? To do a video with the- Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm going to practice with the Mississippi State basketball team.

Oh. Oh. And I'm going to Baton Rouge. Yeah, we're going to Baton Rouge. Here's an interesting thing. Your ego's enormous. Mm-hmm. Are you going to try to win but make Mississippi State look bad?

Well, I- Or are you going to look bad? Mm-hmm. I think I'm able to try to win. I'm so poor at basketball now. I can try to win. You're going to get injured. Yeah, I was just thinking. Take care of my knee.

You said Tom Segura. You're going to get it. Yeah, with the way things have been going for you, we're talking ACL, Achilles. Serious injury. Concussion. Serious injury. Concussion.

Yep. All right, that's fine. Concussion will be actually like you're going to tear your ACL, Achilles. They're going to put you on a stretcher, and they're going to drop the stretcher. Yep. All right. That's fine. Concussion will be actually like you're going to tear your ACL Achilles. They're going to put you on a stretcher and they're going to like drop the stretcher. Yeah. And then concussion. And they're going to bring him out into the sun and ooh, the migraine. Oh, man.

Migraine with the concussion. Yep. That's going to be trouble. If we just left you in the sun, how long would it take for you to die? Like a slug with salt? Two hours. Yeah. Just lay him out there.

What sun are we talking about? Any sun. Like 29 Palms, California, like the salt flats that we put you out there. Yeah. All right, so let's spin this. Wait, let's spin the real wheel first. Real wheel first. Chick-fil-A's here?

Oh, yeah, Brandon, your Chick-fil-A's here, bud. Let's finish off that Saltado. Sorry. Jesus Christ. You want any of this? What a fucking fat ass. Look fat. Hey, fat, your Chick-fil-A Saltado. Sorry. Jesus Christ. You want any of this? What a fucking fat ass. Look fat. Hey, fat, you're here.

Fat. Check Flay's here for you. That's Walker, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. That's his name. Wait, what's painting? We have to pick a painting? One of us does a painting to be auctioned off.

At first we were going to have a- Stinky cloud is still so funny i love stinky i'm excited for that yeah yeah there's a laundry commercial that has a stinky cloud right now okay whenever it comes on nick we're good okay okay i'm passing it back we're due for a reset okay so nick nick assembled this list for the calendar i'm excited to see you it. You don't need to air me out. So we don't know what's on it. Do you want to do names, locations, or outfits first? Let's do names so we'll find out who January is. Okay.

So there's only 10 of us in the program. Are we doing it now? All right. We're just finding out what we have to do so they can buy the costumes and stuff. Sizes. So there's only 10 of us on the show. How many months? 12.

So if it lands on double, the next name it lands on, they have two months. I like it. That looks like more than 10 names. Yeah, Brandon. 12. Nick, do you want to do that, or do you want to do the doubles as like a pair where they're both in the costume? I think that if... Not enough costumes.

But it would be funny if someone like hits four months or something like that. That would be awesome. So do we not remove anyone from the wheel at any point? That's a question. Could somebody just not be in the calendar? I think that would be funny. That would be really funny. Is that still be in the group chat or the group shot on the cover?

Yeah. I don't know. Chat, you want to vote on that? Yeah, let's put up a poll for chat. Chat, press one if you want everybody involved. Press two if you want the wheel to decide. Can we maybe have one of the things be like you are in a month with all business beat? Why do you want that?

It would be funny. We're trying to sell these. I guess that's fair. I don't want that cumless idiot to be in the fucking thing. List November? Yeah, he'll be in No Nut November. What's the poll saying? Brandon, pass the Lomos back this way, brother.

You got two Lomos with you. That is so good, by the way. Holy shit. It's the best. So good. A lot of ones. Ones? Yes, shit. It's the best. So good. A lot of ones. Ones? What's one mean? Everybody involved.

God damn it. That guy put three. I wanted a full KB calendar. Steve McFly put three. I put ten. I kind of like seeing someone gets five and someone gets zero. You know, you'd get five. I feel like the and someone gets zero.

You know, you'd get five. I feel like the wheel always picks you. For these types of things. Yeah, we'll just do it how it is. Everyone gets one. But it might not. I just said that. Some people will get two. I'm saying we'll do the double thing where everyone will get one.

And two people will get two. Yep. Now, Kate's not on the logo. How's she in the calendar? She's in the calendar. We need a girl in the calendar. We need a girl in the calendar. This might have the reverse effect of what people would hope.

All right. What month are you guys rooting for? I want summer. Don't want to be January because that leads it off. Yeah. And these calendars will probably be shipped to you in February Right I think you do want January

No Because most of our people will forget to flip it And you'll just be up for like six months Don't forget to flip January No you don't Jared and Ashley I from The Bachelor What do you stop flipping like Mark? The Child?

Yeah they're with Child I want to dox them Okay I want Summer Something in the summertime. All right, let's go. No one looks at their calendars in the summer. We have no idea what Nick has decided that we're going to wear.

Kyle's up. Kyle. So is this January? Yeah, Kyle's January. Mr. January. Oh. All right, so Kyle's January. No, so then, wait, don't reveal what we're wearing.

I think you do that second. So just remember what month you are. And then it will be... Remember your order. Does that make sense? We'll do a costume wheel. I have a costume wheel right here. Go back and forth.

Should we switch back and forth? I think that's easier. Wait to reveal it. You have January, so just remember your month. And we'll just do that. Mine too. It's birthday month. Mine too.

Whoa. TJ, when's your birthday? The 9th. Next up is Kate. It is February. Okay. Yeah, I like that. At least playing time.

We do it. Damn it. You can't get a win. Is it a leap year this year? God. Oh. Oh. We do need Kate in the logo.

Brandon, March. Got it. Hey, March Madness, basketball, sports. St. Patrick's Day? Give me pride. Let's see. TJ. Oh, Che.

Che's got April. April. This is where you kind of don't want to be, because these are just, these kind of blend together. Just throw away. Yeah, throw away months. Oh, multiple doubles up there, too. April, May, June doesn't really feel, you know.

To you, maybe. I love the spring. Ah, April. April, Easter. May, May, May, May, May, May. Taxes. Earth Day. Secretary's Day.

Oh, Secretary's Day. For administrative assistance. There we go. Star Wars Day. Nikki. So how do the doubles work again? You get the next two months. So if it lands on double

and it lands on your name afterwards, you get the next two. What month am I? June. It's my birthday month. It's Pride, right? Same here. I got Pride!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Fourth of July. Fun party month. DJ July. Okay. Bye.

These are good doubles left. These suck. Oh, boy. What if doubles are the last thing picked? I didn't think of that at all. We should just spin it again. Everybody on. If it comes spin it again. Everybody on if it comes down

to double. I have August. So Sass and Rone will get double. That's the word. No, no, no, no, no. This is great for boy dad. No, no, no.

At the end, if it's both double, we got to start from the beginning. We don't just both get double. Yeah, you're right. So help me God

if I lose pride. Damn it. So help me God if I lose pride. Damn it. So this has gone awry. Let's start over. No, I like what we're doing. October should be Roan. Okay. November should be we'll spin the whole wheel and whoever lands on gets double.

Roan's October and then, yeah. November will be your double. And then December we should have it all of us together, right? Who's double? Yeah, let's do it. Who's double? All of us together. Soone's October and then, yeah. November will be your double. And then December, we should have it all of us together, right? Who's double? Yeah, let's do it. Who's double? All of us together. So Rone, you have October.

Yeah. And then we're going to spin the whole wheel again right now. Whoever lands on has to do November. So that would be... Who's doing December? All of us together. Got it. A group.

Yeah, a group picture to end the year. I think that makes sense. Yeah, celebrating. Or not. Or not. Or not. What if one of us dies? Someone's going to have to do November as well here, whoever it lands on.

So this is the one double? Yeah. Oh, TJ. Double TJ. So he's November. And then we're all December. Got it. I like us all being in one picture.

What was your first month, TJ? T-July. Okay. So July and November. All right, so now we don't know what Nick decided. Actually, July. Rike helped with these. We had to put some that we already had.

It was hastily thrown together. Okay. You could see probably the one I had influence on. All right, costumes. Okay. All right, priest. Nude. I knew nude would be in there.

Nude, gladiator, mermaid, Jesus Christ, tree, slug, Ellen DeGeneres, box. What is box? Box you have a box on. I like that. What is that? Box you have a box on. I like that. What is that for Halloween, like four years in a row? So we're starting with. It's kept on by dishwashers and washing.

AB, January. This is your costume for January. Got it. I want a KB cat so bad. I wouldn't mind a slug. We should go. Then we have to go get our own costume. They're already getting.

That is a hot start to the calendar. I'm wearing the same fit. You have to be on a crucifix. Yeah, I'm going to be on a crucifix. Mom's going to be pissed. What a start. Who's second month? Me.

Boys, hold your awo. Kate. February Kate. Boys, hold your awoogas. Uh-oh. Lillas. If it's box, you guys are in trouble. Oh! She's a slug. Kate's a slug. What does that mean?

What does that even mean? I don't know, but that's awesome. This woman cannot catch a dub. I cannot win. We get it so that, like, you know how they do the pictures? Like, we need to throw salt at you. Yeah. There's salt being thrown at you in the picture.

Okay. It's hard to do a wooga that way. Shortest month as a slug. Kate the slug. Okay, who's March? Brandon. All right, Brandon. He gets Ellen DeGeneres.

I'd like to see Mermaid, personally. Oh, Mermaid. Brandon Mermaid. Yes. Brandon's a mermaid. Nice little seashell. Start the year. And it can't be Merman.

No. Oh, it has to be Mermaid. I want to see Shell. She's a slug mermaid. Shell titties. All right, Stephen, are you April? Come on, nude. Stephen April? Come on, nude. Stephen April.

Come on, nude. I want to see sexy football, what that looks like. That was Enrique. I don't know what he means. Stephen does that all the time. I was like, football. It's a tree. Stephen tree.

This is by far the worst calendar ever created. None of it means anything. No, no. You think like, oh, April, like a flower, I guess tree. A tree. So Enrique was adamant about sexy football and I was like, play her? And he was like, no. So you have to be like

the ball. Sexy football. You have to be like a football sucking a lollipop. Yeah. Okay, this is who? I want Ellen so bad. Oh, Ellen. Ellen so bad. Oh, my God.

I am praying for Ellen. May. All right. We're at May. Give me Ellen. Fuck. Oh, priest. That's good.

That should be sexy, priest. Yeah. It'll naturally be sexy. What if the rule is the counter is it all has to be sexy. Yeah, April. Or no, sorry. What the fuck? June.

June, that's me. I think there's one on here I really want. What if we're all nude for December? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Ellen. I already look exactly like her. Yes.

But for pride, though? Ellen for pride? This is perfect. You need to be, like, standing on an intern. Yeah, I'll get the interns. I'll put them in cages. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, July. Me. TJ. That nude is getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, I'm worried about the nude. TJ the cat. Ooh getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, I'm worried about the nude. TJ the cat. Ooh, TJ the cat. What's Pokemon Trainer?

What the fuck do you think it is, dude? I don't know. All right, I'm August. This feels like it's going to be nude. Fuck. Oh, you're good. Good. Oh, that's going to be so cool.

God damn it. Trade me. You're going to have to help me. Yeah. Was he just Ash Ketchum? Probably Ash Ketchum. It's like you wear fingerless gloves, a red hat. Who's this?

Sass? Yeah. Sass, what are you going to do if it's nude? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no! Yes! Yay! Sass nude!

In unrelated news, Sass is going to work for the Tim Dillon Show now. We've got to figure, maybe put some doilies over your nipples. I don't know. Or like nude is like a color too. You could dress in all like the color nude. Yeah. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Yeah. Have your cock a color, too. You could dress in all the color nude. Yeah. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.

Yeah. Have your cock in it, dude. Yeah. Not your face. It's just your dick. One guy who refuses to do a torso reveal has to do it. Yeah. Just do your cock.

Fully nude. What would be the best for all of us to get? Box? I mean, gladiator would be funny as fuck if we're all gladiators. It would be funny, Sass, if you just wore a t-shirt, but then were just fully nude under it. Yeah, I am.

We need to poo it, dude. That is essentially nude. Odell back on body issue cover where he's in midair. Yeah. We could Photoshop just an enormous cock. The cock is not what I'm worried about. My man. Yeah, let's go, Sass. He actually has a an enormous cock. A cock is not what I'm worried about. A man.

Yeah, let's go. He actually has a very nice cock. His cock is very nice. My cock is the least of my concerns. I'm more worried about the rash covering my entire body right now. Oh, shit, I forgot about that. It's more of my main concern than anything. Buy the calendar for September.

You buy out all the calendars so that I don't have to. More of my main concern than anything. Buy the calendar for September. Yeah. You buy out all the calendars so I have to. If we get the bonus, you can use it on betterhelp.com. Yeah. No, we get free BetterHelp. We're lit. Who's next? All right.

When it's all going to be box, it'll just look like a fucking shipping container. So it's Roan, then TJ, then all of us. Yeah. Box, box, box, box, box. Stop. Box, box, box, box, box. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Sexy football. Nick knows, but there's an amazing background combo that this could hit for Roan. I forget the backgrounds I did.

It was as I was walking. There's a background wheel, too? Yeah. Yes, sir. Oh, my God. It's going to be the most nonsensical calendar. It's even better. Most of them are just nonsense.

This is awesome. So none of the backgrounds go with the costume. Correct. All right, so this is for TJ. It lands on for me what it doesn't land on for all of us. Yes. I want all of us to be boxes so bad. Oh.

All of us gladiators will be cool. Yeah, we'll be gladiators together. All right. So bad. TJ a box. All of us gladiators will be cool. Yeah, we'll be gladiators together. All right. TJ is a box in November. All right, so now we do background? Yeah. This is going to be the dumbest and most hilarious calendar.

I can't wait to see how it turns out. Are you writing all this down, Steven? All right. All right, ready? Yeah. Yeah yeah oh all right so first up is kyle as what jesus oh my god jesus where is where are you selfie all right i'm gonna read it for the listen to the podcast hank selfie radio room back big cat money pile bfFW, Pet Sematary, Edmund Square, Stock Exchange, Jussie Smollett. Subway he was in.

Empty, empty, what is that? Where the Joe Pustachio was. Joe Pustachio, holes, cast and couch, strand, tooth gap, Che flooded house, and that's it. In front of the Hank selfie, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Okay. All right.

There could be some very funny combos here. Where do we want Jesus? A Jesus KB in January. Yeah, Steven, why don't you say it and we get to each one and just say what we're at

so everyone can be reminded. Oh my God. KB January Jesus at the empty Joe Pus statue. Where will KB be crucified? Oh, if he's at the Joe Pus statue. Where will KB be crucified? Oh, if he's at the Joe Pus statue? That's good to be. Cast.

Yo. This is such a shit. Perverted. That's so funny. Oh my god. Oh man. February we got Kate as a slug. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I know I as a slug. Oh, yeah.

Go, Kate. I know I'm going to get Jesse Smollett. I'm rooting for Kohl's personally. Oh, my God. Yes. Slugging Kohl's. Yes. That is so me.

Yeah, you're very good at guessing. A slugging Kohl's. All right, who's up next? For March we have Brandon as a mermaid. Okay. All right. I want to we have Brandon as a mermaid. Okay. All right. I want to be in Che's flooded house. The Andaman Square would be very funny.

Che's flooded house would be perfect. You're at the New York Stock Exchange. All right. A mermaid in the Stock Exchange. That's provocative. Yeah, it is. It makes you think. And we're in New York.

You could actually go. I'm actually going to do it. For April, it's myself as a tree. That is. And we're in New York. You could actually go. For April, it's myself as a tree. Okay. It's going to be Tiananmen Square. It's got to be. Oh! Oh, this will be eerie.

Yeah, spooky kind of. Alright. For May, we have Zah as a priest. I want him with the Joe Pasta. I want him too. Oh, God, no, no. A priest in the radio room. I wanted to make it easy on the people editing these photos.

Are they going to edit him into the radio room? Just take one in the radio? For Julia, we have Nick as Ellen DeGeneres. It's going to be like an art installation somewhere. What is this priest doing in the radio? Put me in Michael Strahan's tooth gap. Come on! Yay!

I'm going to be peeking behind from one of the teeth. Alright, we got July TJ as a cat. Alright. Chase flooded house. Cats do not like water No That's true

Alright August We have big cats As a Pokemon trainer Pokemon trainer I still don't know What the fuck that is Gosh catch him You have a Pokeball

Great ball It almost looks like A Pokeball Yes A statue Yes Okay It almost looks like a pokeball. Yes. A statue. Yes. Okay.

It's the time where we have sass in the nude. Nude sass. Nude sass at Siena Square. Oh, nude sass. If it's just his ass in front of the tank. Oh, a money pile. That works. I mean, there's going to be too much money. You're not going to see your naked body.

We're in money. October we have Rone as a sexy football. It's all good. Those are all good answers. Those are all good choices. Hank's selfie. Okay. I don't understand where, like, how.

I don't know. I don't get that one. Is it the F45 selfie where he's real sweaty? For November, we have TJ as a box and whenever it doesn't hit, we will all be a bunch of gladiators in front of the tanks

at Tiananmen Square. Most of these are good. Gladiators at Jesse Smollett. TJ will be a box at Tiananmen Square. We will be gladiators fighting in the Jesse Smollett subway what a calendar

that's the calendar boys so how are we gonna shoot it are we just gonna shoot it we should like get a green screen Enrique's shooting in the green screen room oh no we can do it let's just do it

in the middle of the yak so you have to be wearing your costume and get up and go do it yeah I think that's the Monday Tuesday plan does Sassus be naked

oh yeah do we have the costumes no they're running out to get them now because we had to get sizes for slug costume

Sass let's find a way for you to be good time of year to be needing a costume not naked but naked yeah we'll figure it out we'll figure it out. We'll figure something out.

You will. I'm not worried about your cock. I'm going to have to go to the dermatologist today if I can get some sort of steroid. It could be like a body positivity. Yeah, yeah. People would applaud Barstool.

Liz is probably fucking loving this shit right now. Yeah. We're also- We could get a fast naked. I would destroy Liz's career if I went fully nude right now. Yeah. We're also... We could get a shast naked. We could spoil Liz's career if I went fully nude right now. Yeah, you would.

You were also saying that you were staring at my face. Couldn't handle the fact that I had a rash on my face. Now your rash has to go primetime. My rash is 10,000 times worse than yours. When is... When do they need this by?

They need to take the photos next week They have to Yeah I was going to say It would be funny if we did it for A Halloween episode But I don't know if they can do that

Keep the costumes Yeah Write them out Yeah What day of the week is Halloween Monday Oh nice 31st

Very nice On the 31st again Super nice We have a week off for that right Yep Yeah For the month. All right.

This is a great yak, guys. Good stuff. Kyle, where are you going to be crucified? Where was your location? Casting couch. That's the best one by far. Are you going to be crucified, or can you just get nailed there? Zinger.

Hello. Sorry. Get a dick in every hole The priest thought that was funny I'm so sorry about that But like you sitting there Kind of want to be with the Traditional men

Amongst them The girl in the background You want a girl Yeah being fucked in the background Maybe you get fucked from behind And you're holding on to two dicks Oh yeah No I like that That could be interesting That sounds pretty cool No That wouldn't be it Maybe you get fucked from behind and you're holding on to two dicks. Oh, yeah. No.

I like that. That could be interesting. That sounds pretty cool. No, that wouldn't be it. Why? I think you have to be sitting there with a crown of thorns, very sad, on the casting couch as blood drips down your face. Holding your ID that says Jesus Christ.

Or you should be turning water into coffee. It says Arizona State. Yeah, Jesus Christ. 18 years old. Oh, fuck. Okay. Great show, guys. See everyone tomorrow. Except Brandon.

Gotta go. Fix your face, dude. Bye-bye. Working on it. Bye-bye. Bye.