The Yak - We're Gonna Find the Funniest Travis in America | The Yak 2-14-23

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Oh he's in rap battle modeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Hello. Hello, boys. Oh, it's good to be back in the studio. Hello. Welcome back. How's everyone doing?

I'm taking the day. I'm not going to talk today. Okay. I'll do it, too. I'm very tired. I like your St to talk today Okay I'll do it too I'm very tired I like your Steelers shirt Thanks God fuck It's cool

Got me with manners Oh It's a loophole Hello everyone We were just discussing Friday Erica gave the whole office The day off

Oh And Monday Is President's Day We love our presidents Some of them And I gave the whole office the day off. Oh. And Monday is President's Day. We love our presidents, some of them. I am going to be on vacation starting tomorrow until I'll be back on Sunday, but I think everyone should

take Friday and Monday off. Just enjoy it. I changed my tune. I used to be like, fuck it, let's just keep working. Then I realized that just sucks for everyone. When we're giving a day fuck it let's just keep working and then i realized like that just sucks for everyone let's just take when we when we're giving a day off let's take the day off now did you come to this realization in arizona with that schedule no it was when was the last

when was the day that was it uh mlk day was that tj we took that off. You said if you are worried about that, you're racist. Right, but before that I was like, oh, I'll come in and work. And then I was like, well, if I say that, then everyone's just going to come and work. And that's a fucking dickhead thing to do. So we're taking Friday and Monday off. The Yak will not be, no new Yak Friday and Monday. Does it smell like cum in here?

Well, Brandon was in here. Marty was sitting in that seat. It's really cummy smelling. I'm stuffy. I don't know what cum smells like. I don't think my cum doesn't have a smell. Are you kidding me? My cum doesn't have a smell.

Cum is a weirdly nostalgic smell for me. There were days, spring days. Come on now. There were spring days where our whole St. Vincent's school was... Cum soaked? Yeah. It was those trees. It was the trees.

Oh yeah, the cum trees. Yeah. This smacks of cum. Not even the cum trees. Is it the mic or is it just the room itself? No, I don't know. I feel like it's this area. Is it your nose?

I don't know. I wouldn't know. Isn't my new scent I'm wearing? I fell for a TikTok ad. Oh, no. It's this woman that said, this is exactly what Harry Styles smells like. 85 bucks later, I smell like it, too.

Oh, did you? Yeah, he smells like cum. Bro, and I have a confession to make. I watched the video of you and Max at the game probably about 100 times last night. What a roller coaster that was. It felt like the Eagles were going to win. It really did.

Did you get that sense? Yeah. Much of the game. I did. It really did. They were going to win. To the point that I was doubling down on all my bets. Oh, no.

Yeah. Can't do that. Yeah. Got greedy. Yeah. I haven't been able to watch. It was like a great movie with just a bad ending. No. You didn't get to enjoy it at all?

Did you watch the clip of them at the game? Can you pull it up, TJ? It was just the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Because sometimes I think a great movie with a bad ending. What's this bitch walking in with? Doesn't make me feel as bad. She's got some pizza by the way happy valentine's day oh yeah there oh oh it's not in the shape of a heart oh what is

this oh yeah you spilled sauce thank you kate wow kate thanks so much. Looks good. Oh, happy Valentine's. What's the occasion? It's Red for Valentine's Day. Oh. And it's my favorite pizza in New York City, the upside down Sicilian slice. Oh, hell yes. It's a good slice. It is a good slice.

No, that's crazy. That's our favorite pizza in New York City. Oh, it's the best. Really good. I like it extra sloppy. Oh, nice. And it's close to. It looks sloppy.

I think accessibility is a huge part of your favorite pizza. Oh, nice. It's close to. It looks sloppy. I think accessibility is a huge part of your favorite pizza. Oh, yeah. It's across the street. That's why. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Yeah. Love you all. I love you guys.

Gay shit. Yeah. I dropped my son off at school today, and he had Valentine's for everyone, including the teachers. Oh. And they're like, damn. Like, yup. Praise Lord. And praise God.

Yeah, he was walking around like he owned the joint. What were the themes of his Valentines? I think they were ring pops. Okay. And then actual candy for the chocolate heart big box of candy for the teachers. Yeah. Stunted on them. Oh, look at that. I saw these.

These were good. Wheel ain't going to be what's getting you wet. That one. That one. Good. You're smoking it. I'm not joking, baby. That's a good one.

I like that one. That's cute. You make me go wild. Oh, kitty with the bag. I would die a Rama for you. That's a good one. I'm the king of going down south. That should be Stephen Che.

I'm the real king of the kitty. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Nice. Valentine's Day sucks. It's the worst. Oh, I love it We just admit it

And read what he did Did Roan not get a Valentine there? Uh it's There is one in the Instagram It's just a limited number Of posts you can put on that one Thank you for looking out though brother

Yeah It sucks Why does it suck you think? I don't know Because the obligation It's like unwinnable Yeah It's really nothinginnable. Yeah. There's really nothing.

Yeah. I took my wife to a really nice dinner. Not that one. Another one back in Arizona. Another wife? Valentine's Day? In Arizona last week. I took her to a nice dinner.

And at the dinner, she's like, you don't have to get me something big for Valentine's Day. And in my mind, I'm like, this is your Valentine's Day. Yeah, but that's the problem with Valentine's Day. This is unwinnable. Has to be on the day. It's unw's Day. Yeah, but that's the problem with Valentine's Day. This is unwinnable. It has to be on the deck. It's unwinnable. Better get her the newest tech. Women love tech. I do love tech.

My peak for Valentine's Day was in college when we would make reservations at the nicest restaurants in Madison and then sell them. Wow. Man, that's smart. That's super smart. Yeah, because it was like before Open Table

and any of those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of where Valentine's Day peaked for me. Would you scalp outside of the restaurant? Oh, we'd just sell them on, what was the fucking? Craigslist. Yeah, Craigslist. Yeah, yeah.

That's what you make on them. We made like a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah. And in college. Like just last minute Valentine's Day. Did you forget your Valentine's Day reservation? Damn.

Brilliant. Everyone did. Yeah, everyone did. Yep. That's it. It's been all downhill from here. I'm going out to a fancy dinner tonight, dude. I'm excited for it.

Are you? Yeah. You're fancy like that, though. Yeah. Is your game plan ready? Just eat good. I feel like I didn't eat great when I was in Arizona. I didn't have a good meal.

Yeah. I had one. That's got to be on you guys because they have some fantastic food down there. What did you eat? Tortas. Oh, yeah. Tortas. I had some bad food, too, though.

Yeah. I found a great Mexican restaurant across the street. That one place was great. Oh, fate. That was where Steven was getting the Brussels sprout nachos. I went to Los Sombreros. It's good. What does that mean?

Hats. Pretty funny. Might have been Dos Sombreros now that I think about it. Oh, two hats. Two hats. Two hats. I like that. Yeah.

All right. There's a Chinese man. He's apparently 170 years old. Oh, I hate it looking at him. Wait, 101? I should enter. 178. I should have known.

How do they know? Do they count the rings? Dude, they change the age of that dude once a week. Yeah, but look at him. Look. Yeah. Where? You think he's 700?

Oh, he's going to be. I don't think they know how old he is. Is it a ball of wrinkles? What is he, on Twitter or something? Skeleton. He posts videos. He looks terrible for his age. And I think he might be a pedophile.

You know, he looks older than 170. Get him to touch an animal girl. Check his flash drives. You know, he got 150 years in prison. He's out. He's out. You shouldn't have let me out. 178?

Look at him, man. That's not true. That's not his age. There's no way that that's how old that guy is. People don't live that long. I think he's probably got a genetic thing going on. I'm 50? He's probably only 35.

He's no more than 120. And I bet he's closer to like 100. How did you even want to look like that? He looks like 96. Yeah, where's the fun in that? You look terrible. Yeah, looking bad for your age at 96. Yeah, where's the fun in that? You look terrible. Yeah, looking bad for your age at 96. Loki had a little bicep definition, though.

He looks bad for a dead guy. Yeah. Yeah. That would be old for a dead guy, naturally. A week-old dead guy is better looking than him. What do you think the smallest thing that could kill that guy is? A hiccup? I think a bee sting would kill him. Oh, for sure.

I don't know, though. He survived COVID in China. Oh, shit. True. He's touching kids, too. How fast could you kill him? 30 seconds? No. Yes. I think I could just go like this. Well, I mean, technically, if you use a weapon, you could kill him.

I think one punch. You don't think you could kill him with your hands? With your body? Yeah. I bet you it would take two minutes. No. Oh, no. Punch him one time and get down.

Choke him out. Get on top of him. No, I think one punch. One punch. Look at his neck. I just put my hands around his neck. Boom. Done. I think a chop to the neck. I think if you just punch him in the chest.

His bones have to be like eggshell. Punch through his body. It might be satisfying. Might be some ASMR shit. It'd be like a Mortal Kombat punch. You'd punch him and go through the ribcage. People are more resilient

They die harder than you'd think We're gonna have to be the ones That kill this guy though I wanna see him again Hold on See how fast I can kill him Cause there's other videos of him And he's always tussling

This little girl's hair This guy 30 seconds Dude I twist his head off Like a fucking soda top He moves animatronically Yeah Yeah

Moves like a Chuck E. Cheese rat. Grab his skull and just go whoop. Is there any confirmation that he's 100%? I don't think that's a real person. It really might not be a real person. It could be just... Imagine if it's just like a 30 year old dude who just spent way too much time in a hot tub.

A spring breaker. He's just a smoker. He's just really dehydrated he has one Gatorade and he just goes right back to normal a Snickers bar

plates I could burst everyone's bubble right now oh fuck I could burst it I'm not gonna though it's an all time

he's actually 179 he's this is a real story no he's not no way no no he's dead he's dead oh he's dead

oh okay good what I'd like to think we helped kill him he's not. No way. No, he's dead. He's dead. Oh, he's dead. Oh, okay, good. What? I'd like to think we helped kill him. He's from Thailand, but he did live to 109, so he was older. He looks awful for 109. Awful. 109? This video goes viral once a week, and they change the age every week.

And they're saying that was his granddaughter, but if that was his granddaughter and he was 109, his son would have had kids at like age 60 or something i don't know there's no way he's pumping out there you got it bro dust coming out of my dad had me at 90 you see that story there's a story about a dude in uh africa who's retiring from from the fucking game and he has like a thousand children good for him him. He's a legend. Yeah. Gang is con numbers. Yeah. From Arty-ish.

They're saying Kinshasa could be the biggest city in the world. Yeah. What's that? It's in the Congo. Kinshasa? Kinshasa. What does that entail? It's the final move.

Because these cities that are growing rapidly in developing countries, even like China, they're not fucking, they're not reproducing as much. India. Did India just overtake China? Yeah. Population? It's going to soon. They're neck and neck.

Are we three? No. We're not even close, I don't think. We're like 300 million. Nigeria's almost a billion, right? Fuck. No, we are three. Yeah. Are we three in population?

Four? I think we're four. Well, it's China, India. Yeah, no, we're three. Fuck you guys. I told y'all. I told y'all. Fuck all the doubters.

Was it that ahead? There have always been three. There have always been a billion people more. Did you see the Japanese social... I forget what he is, but he recommended- It's crazy., elderly commit suicide because they're living too long in, like, Japan. Recommended? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Have you guys ever seen... I'm going to prescribe you this seppuku. Yeah. Oh, you should just kill yourself. They have those, like, pods. Suicide pods. Yeah, and they're, like, super creepy.

Have you seen them? What? There's, like, suicide pods. Is it them? What? There's like suicide pods. Is it legal in Japan? It's legal in America. That's just crazy. In some places. It's like the Nazis at the end of World War II, they all just committed mass suicide.

Yeah. They're just like, well, this didn't work out. Whoops. When do y'all think y'all will be old? I think. I think me at 60 is a lot older than you at 60. Me? Yeah, I think 60 is old for me.

I think like 70 is old for you. Damn. That's a compliment. That's a compliment. Well, it's actually, we had this discussion on the rundown a little bit yesterday because Dave was trying to say that we're- Oh, he's old. Yeah, well, he is old.

But Kevin made the point that if you have kids, you're automatically older, which is true. Yes. Like a 50-year-old, a single 50-year-old versus a 50-year-old with like three kids, there's a very big difference. You become an adult when you have kids. Right. Right.

Basically. Right. And also it just, like I think just, it ages you. Sleep and just everything. Responsibility. Yeah. Puts a ticker on the. Y'all see that fucking Chelsea Handler video though?

No. Yeah. Oh, I like that Ben Shapiro got mad about it, because it was a stupid skit. It wasn't... It didn't make me laugh, but it was clearly skit, and he was like, she's... Can you

play it? You don't think her building a time machine or teleporting... Yeah, he took it very seriously. He's like, I bet she goes home at night and is so sad that she doesn't have any kids. She goes home to her mansion. She was making a joke. It was not a good joke, but it was a joke.

She used to just have her bags out on the timeline. On Twitter. Yeah, she did. That shit was fucking sick, bro. Some equine, yeah. Some equine shit, bro. She was riding bareback. Which one is it?

This one. That one? It's not funny. This is a day in the life of a child. Oh, I didn't know it had words. I wake up at 6 a.m. I remember that I have no kids to take to school, so I take an edible, masturbate, and go back to sleep. I wake up at 12.30 p.m. and get ready for a busy day of doing whatever the f*** I feel like.

I put on my most impractical and stylish shoes since I won't be chasing a child around the grocery store. I go to my fave spot in Paris to grab a croissant. I do a meditation sesh on the plane since I have no screaming kids, allowing me all the time in the world to become enlightened. The weightlessness of my existence has granted me superhuman powers. I teleport myself back home. Then I get ready for a night out with whatever hot guy I met on Raya that morning. I call up a babysitter and tell her that I don't need her since I still don't have kids.

Now it's time for a workout, so I hit Mount Everest for a quick climb. I invent a time machine, go back in time, and kill Hitler. Freeze, you bastard! I actually do. I think this is hysterical. And that's a day in the life of a childless woman. I'd like to know more about Celebrity Tinder. So Ben Shapiro said...

You have to get it verified. I don't know if it's something dumb. He said the best thing about this video is that it features her explaining that she can do whatever she wants as a person with no kids, and so she names a bunch of stuff she didn't do because her actual life consists of drinking a shitload of wine and being really, really sad. You're right. She didn't go back time

travel and kill baby Hitler. Roasted. Yeah. Itasted. Yeah. It was like both those debunked. The video was not funny and the tweet took it way too serious. Yeah. Everyone loses it. There's a whole group of people firing off about that shit.

Like she's a threat to the nuclear family and shit like that. She's just. First of all, that's a green screen on the plane. She definitely didn't fly to Paris. She couldn't sit cross-legged when there was just no one around her on the plane. She could teleport the whole time. Why would she fly there? It's so very weird to be like, I'm so obsessed with kids, I want everyone else to have them as well.

I know. That's a very bizarre, like, why wouldn't you just want to live your own life? Oh, I need other people to go through it. I think people, there is like a massive, did you ever get this this where your friends who had kids before you were like you gotta do it and and they're like kind of like uh pushing it on you i know that that's happens to my wife sometimes her friends where they're like oh like they want her the misery loves company aspect of it where it's like they they need you to go through it so you can also feel the pangs of uh the whole life i think i just have lived away i i think now that i had a kid it's been more the other way around

where i my friends who had kids younger i go to them like oh my god i'm so sorry i wasn't more helpful to you i had no idea how fucking hard it was and i would be like annoyed that they're i'm like oh you can't come out blah blah and now i'm. And now I'm like, oh, I get it. Oh, my God. It's great, though. I highly recommend it for everyone. It's just weird to be like, I want these people must have kids as well. Yeah, caring what other people do like that is so weird.

Also, too, I see a lot of those guys being like, they pretend like they have these great lives, but they go home, they're in their 30s. If she's in her 30s and she's single, you know she's miserable. My early 30s before pat and the baby i finally had money and freedom and i was living in new york city and it was like probably some of the best time of my entire life right like it's pretty fucking sick actually um god i don't think i don't think the misery of not having kids happens until you're really old and no one's there to help you.

Then I could understand it. If you're like 80. That's probably going to suck, though. Yeah, that. What? Being 80 and just having nobody to. That I could understand, but being in your 30s, 40s, 50s with no kids, I'm pretty sure you'd be happy. Adopt that 80.

Adopt that 80, yeah. And there's no promising that your kids aren't going to abandon you at the end anyway. Facts. They probably are. I used to volunteer at the VA retirement home, and let me tell you, not a lot of visitors for those guys. They were parents. I'm already done.

I'm fucked. Yeah. Yeah. My daughter probably will listen to the Pick'Em episode I did with Dave in 2013 talking about Sam Ponder. That will be the end of our relationship. Oh, yeah. Just is what it is.

Didn't think about that. Yeah. No guarantee. She's like, Dad, I have Sam Ponder. That will be the end of our relationship. Oh, yeah. Just is what it is. Yeah. She's like, Dad, I have San Ponder's side. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, you could build up some resentment pretty easy. Oh, easy, easy. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That probably won't happen, too. No. Not all. I'll just be real. That probably won't happen, too. No. Matt Walsh. I'll just buy my kids off. That's so awesome you'll be able to say that. I'll just be like, well, do you want your inheritance? Yeah. I'll make them spin a wheel for their inheritance.

That would rule. That would so rule. I might have to do it. Do it live at the funeral Dude I was saying the other day Dave keeps saying he has so much money Because he doesn't have kids He's like I have so much money

I'm going to die with money Could you imagine if he just left his inheritance To like Frank That would be awesome Yeah Frank's definitely going to die after Dave Yeah He is

I think Frank might sneaky just go to like 85. Right in everyone's face. Yeah, just right because everyone always, you know, all the mean people on Twitter are being like, he's going to, no, fuck it, Frank. Show the haters. But imagine if Frank, like if Dave died tomorrow and it was in his will that Frank gets like $100 million. I don't think it changes Frank's life at all. Oh, you just get better seats at the Mets.

Not even a little bit. I don't even think he'd want the better seats. No, he wouldn't. He needs that top level. Maybe a helicopter to take him there? I don't know. I don't think it changes his life one iota. More memorabilia.

That probably, yeah. Better jerseys. I would like to see Frank buyia. That, probably. Yeah. Better jerseys. I would like to see Frank buy a minor league team. Yeah. Yeah. Just see how he runs it. The Franks. Imagine if they were just the best baseball team of all time.

Theoria Franks. Yeah. Yeah. He has institutional knowledge. People forget. He's a bright guy. There are a lot of Frank and the Frankette Fans out there

This is bullshit In Arizona It's humbling We are Did you see There was like Women fans too Yeah

You guys have Women trivia fans Yeah I took a picture With one who had One of your shirts Surreal Yes

It was like a crop top Frank and the Frankette shirt So it might have been A woman But which is more than Any of the rest of the teams Correct Correct The Yak has no fans left the Frankette shirt. So it might have been a woman. But which is more than any of the rest of the teams. Correct.

The Yak has no fans left. We're fanless. We're the fanless franchise at this point. Bad boys. I was thinking about that just randomly. I was like, no one is going to root for us ever again. That's awesome. Yeah, I guess. Bad boys of trivia shouldn't

be a thing. Jeff said it didn't affect your fan standing at all. Dude, it was so funny on the way out, people were screaming at me. They were like, no! Cheater! You're the fucking worst! That's so funny. From the depths of their lungs. Now that we're removed from it, the whole thing was there.

It's so funny. In the moment, I was kind of bummed out because it's like, I don't want to be the cheaters, but I kind of forced my hand on the hat. I mean, you're not. Did you get anything tossed at you? No, no. So what was it? You guys weren't supposed to talk and you talked?

Yeah. But it was just like a crowd of people walking outside of that arena, like saw the mob coming out. They would have assumed it was like a UFC fight or a boxing match. An election or something. It was a barstool trivia tournament. No, I mean, the live crowd is awesome. Yeah, it was.

It's so much fun. Yeah, but the idea of it is pretty funny. Yeah. Like, oh, you're going to a trivia night? Like, did you answer any questions? No, I watched. I watched. And then I got really mad.

It was like Marjorie Taylor Greene yelling at Biden. Yeah. I'd be like, you lie! And then they got mad at me for trying to forfeit. That's hilarious. So great in hindsight. Yeah, no, in hindsight, the whole thing is very. I mean, the people probably had a blast.

Oh, yeah. The live events are so much fun. Yeah. That probably made the entire event. Oh, yeah. You don't have haters. You don't have fans. That's true.

That's the other wrinkle of it is, like, if you ask Steven, he has no idea that people are mad at us. Like, he's just like, what? I thought we played a great game. We gave them a show. We're a good team. Unflappable. A live event, someone's got to be the villain. People are going to have more fun

if they can root for someone and root against someone. See, that's why Brandon's mad, because Brandon likes to be the villain on a team of other like, he likes to have his cake and eat it too. He's the villain on the winning team with two likable... You can't be the villain if you're a babyface Right so he's mad

I can play both roles I did that night I wish a friend should have won MVP You know you guys are going to win the end of season tournament That's just Brandon and PFT I scored 11 points the first game Boys always do

We're going to get those butt plugs the chess guy had. The vibrating butt plugs? I'll just say right now, if we find a way to get butt plugs and vibrate the answers to us and we win the tournament, that should count. I would respect that, yeah. Okay, yeah, all right. If it's our brand to cheat now, too,

I think that that kind of opens things up for us. Chicago wrote it for two years. It's true. It's true. Fast, we've got to build you a trivia team. God, no. Who doesn't have teams? You, hate. I don't know anything.

I don't want to be on a trivia team. Francis. Francis. No. Francis would be good. Francis would be really good at trivia. He was terrible, wasn't he? No, he'll be.

He said the same thing. He went to Harvard, dude. He has to be good at trivia. He went terrible, wasn't he? He said the same thing. He went to Harvard, dude. He has to be good at trivia. He went to Fordham. Sports knowledge is just not hard to believe. Not my thing. No one's touched your foot. Well, I don't want to eat.

People hate eating into the mic, and it just occurred to me that I brought in the sloppiest food. It does look. It looks great, but it looks extra sloppy. It's super sloppy. I asked for it extra sloppy, and then I made it extra sloppy. I asked for it extra sloppy and then I made it extra sloppy. You asked for it extra sloppy? Yeah. Did we,

did you guys do the Mincy video yesterday? Of course, but I would be welcome to do it a couple more times. I mean, we almost had an emergency yak on the yak text chain.

We're like, should we figure out a way to do it when it dropped on Friday night? Incredible. Incredible. That video, yes, yes.

The funniest man alive. Has he spoken out since then? Has he said? Oh, he had his halftime show. And he did a victory lap on the views of that video. Oh, did he? Oh, yeah. He did a We Are the Champions rendition

on the halftime show about himself. So it was, he changed some of the words, and it was for himself being, overcoming all of the issues with Dave to then be invited to the halftime show. He actually blogged the actual true story. Did he play it off like he knew what he was doing? Here's the true story. I hope not.

He's on the minty beat. He just covers himself. The true story. I had no idea it was going to be that complicated. It's a box. I mean, he just. The true story. I had no idea it was going to be that complicated. It's a box. I mean, he just never even revealed it. Yeah, not even close. That guy.

I don't know how I lost control of the situation. You're mincey. The situation is your life, and you've never had control. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. It's a box. How the hell I got myself in that situation? I have no idea. Again.

He's right. Woke up that day. We're mincey. I just had to get the bobblehead open. And he did. Two million views. It's my second biggest video ever in the time I went after the Vandy Whistler. What is this subtle shade at Nick? Thanks, I guess.

Yeah, I just genuinely meant it. That's weird. The hell? Yeah, Nick watched it and he really liked it. Thanks, I guess. Thanks for texting me that it was funny and you laughed and you've watched it over 900,000 times. Dick. I am good at that part.

Oh, man, Mincy. What a gem. He's the best. The fucking best, man. I can't wait until next football season. Where's the Super Bowl next year? Vegas? Vegas. Oh. Vegas. A's the Super Bowl next year? Vegas? Vegas.

Oh. Vegas. A little cabaret for Mincy? Yeah. Live on the strip? Sass has a show at the stand. What was the thought process with his song selection of the halftime?

It was bringing down the house. Burning down the house. Burning down the house. And we got the champions. Didn't he say he got a DM from someone saying to play Burn It Down the House? I don't know. I thought I saw something about that on Twitter.

Only two songs. And then did he fly back to New Orleans? Yep. Was it just in and out? He showed up. He didn't even finish the game. He showed up on Saturday afternoon and left Sunday night.

We flew in our halftime act. What do you guys think that he calls those a shirt, a white undershirt that's sleeveless? What do you guys think he calls it? I think he goes by the... Because I know the answer, and I think you might be wrong. Not a tank top? Not a tank top. Muscle shirt? What are you thinking? Not a muscle shirt. I'm thinking the term for

Italian. A guinea tea. Yes. He calls it a guinea tea. Does he? I'd never heard it. Interesting. Yeah. Security guard Dan said he was like, yeah, I gotta go get a guinea tea. Which is hilarious. I didn't... I didn't even know that was. Which is hilarious. I didn't...

I didn't even know that was a term for it. I guess that makes sense. I only know wife beater, but guinea tea... I certainly didn't think that was a term for it in the South. I've never heard that. I've never heard wife beater. Is there Italians in the South? A couple.

They always... You know, we have liquor stores. Is that who works at the liquor stores in the South? Italians? Yeah, they run the trades in town. Do you think Indian people are Italian? The best part is on one of the songs, I can't remember if it was the first or second, he missed the beginning and he didn't catch up for like two minutes.

He doesn't know the words either. Can we just be honest? He doesn't know the words. Oh, he made his own words. Why did he pick a song that he doesn't know? He didn't have time to practice, Nick. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he did his own words.

Some of them, yeah. Yeah. Some of them he he did his own words. Some of them, yeah. Yeah. Some of them he tried to stay with the normal ones. Whatever. It was great. I was back when life was awesome, room. Two days ago? We were up 10.

Oh, yeah. That is like the last I remember feeling good for a while. I've been feeling pretty bad since then. Did you feel like you were surrounded by authentic fans? What do you mean? Like the crowd at the Super Bowl. I thought a lot of them were. I mean, the Eagles fans were like psychos.

They were making the Chiefs fans so mad. And the Chiefs fans were all just trying to be nice. Like, we're from Iowa. Shut the fuck up, bro. Max spilled an entire beer on the person in front of him. Yeah, yeah. Saw that tweet. Chiefs fan.

Yeah, the Iowa cheese fans, they were so mad. Oh, yeah. Look, I got a fucking headache. He's wearing two pairs of pants in this video. Sun looked like

he was just beating down on you guys. This is so sad. Oh, it hurts to watch. I was like in these people's ears being like, we're different. I love that you guys like talking, trying to figure out what happened. AJ's fucking proud. That dude behind us was like a psycho. People were so mad at him. figure out what happened

so mad at him oh god Why is that happening? What the fuck is he doing? What the fuck is he doing? He's made one fucking adjustment. Yeah! He just did it. That's my fucking guy. I'll suck his dick.

Fucking hurts. Every Chief fan who saw saying he's a tough son of a bitch. Because he is a tough son of a bitch. I said I would turn off English. I can't, but I would have. Is he a tough son of a bitch or is he a tough motherfucker? Looking back, I wish you'd turn. I'll never watch that game again.

Oh, well, you might. Nah, I already paid you. You did? Yeah. Where? On Venmo. Oh, shit. No way.

I'm never watching that game again. Was it the right Dan Katz, or did somebody squat on his name? Someone got $6,000. Damn. I can never watch it $6,000. Damn. I can never watch it. Oh, yes. Super Bowl, slippery turf. Two payments of $3,000.

Yeah, I can never watch it again. That's actually a smart move, buddy. Because I tricked the algorithm into thinking that I want all Eagles content for the entire fall. I just have been consuming everything, reading every article, Philly Voice, The Athletic. I'm fucking crushing all content from Eagles creators. And then they're just shoving the Super Bowl down my throat and I can't be even online.

I can't look at any of it. I can't watch any plays. I can't watch any highlights. I can't watch any analysis. I can't look at anyone's excuses. It makes me feel so bad. The deal was still worth it, though. Yes. I mean, you got to go to a Super Bowl.

And if they had won, you would have been going for free. Yes. You would take that deal 100 times out of 100. Totally. Because I would have paid to go no matter what. Right, exactly. It was worth the risk. The gamble of it. I would have been so happy to not get paid back by you guys.

I've such bad Pavlovian response to that game. Every time I fucking see it, it makes me feel bad. What was the clip with you and Max where you were asking them if they thought of anyone they wanted to meet at the after party? Max was like, no, no. And Rome was like after party. Yeah. Max was like, no, no. And Rome was like, we definitely did. Yeah, he was like, no, no, no. I don't even want to talk about it.

And Rome was like, but we talked about it. Yeah. That cracked me up so much. I also, Max was like, he was like, this is the lowest and worst I've ever felt in my life. And I was like, are all four of your grandparents alive? And he paused and he was like, no. It's fair. Yeah, it's fair. Did you guys go straight back to the house?

That was the deal. If the Eagles won, the tickets were free, and I had probably three or four people that I was ready to just burn down their phones trying to get them into the after party. But if the Chiefs won, they had to go straight back to the house after the game here's what happened we sat in our seats for 15 minutes of dead silence just next to each other me with a flag over my head like our legs touching because we're just squeezed into the stadium and neither of us fucking moved we walked out of the

stadium for like 45 minutes we were trying to get an uber couldn't get a single uber some lady said that she could take us in like a suv and i was like how much she said 500 i was like fuck it and i got in the car we sat in her car for about 35 minutes and we didn't move in the parking lot to the point where she just turned her car off i was like we're getting out of this fucking car didn't pay her the money we just got out of the fucking car we Didn't pay her the money. We just got out of the fucking car. We're like, you can get another ride, right? She wouldn't like, yeah, she was like, she can get another ride. And so we walked for like two and a

half more miles. Went to a fucking gas station. Found a guy who had like a lift thing lit up. Like, I just agreed to pay him like $150 and just eventually got back to the house. They were already recording. Just walked straight in and just with just hell.

Just the worst feeling. It's not even therapy. It was like, oh, man, I feel so bad still. Sadness sells. Like I was thinking about it. The most iconic moments in Barstool history is like the saddest moments. The thing we do better than anyone else i wouldn't trade it for anything true sports misery and people people are just

sickos and perverts and they just lap it up yeah yeah people were like uh like why was he filming himself at the end of the game like like fucking just enjoy the moment like just fucking focus it's like dude i know people are out here dying to see like they hate the eagles and they hate the fucking like eagles videos and like they hate all that shit and it's like that was literally a gift for them being right look at me look at me in my worst moment here you can fucking chew on that and just shit down my throat right and people are like, oh, you guys are talking about Max and Rone's misery or my lost bet. Go watch ESPN for the highlights. This is what we do. People love it.

Yeah. I had so many people hit me up. They were like, I listened to the whole show and then I had to go watch it to see how bad it was. And it was bad. It's different to watch. It's very different to watch. Max just just a sad sack max he's just and people were dealt they're like max deserved it well he had a bad

the last i saw him on saturday night he was drinking champagne at the barstool scottsdale bar and then i got all the guys into this party i went home because i was so tired and next morning hank told me that all Max was doing was walking around the party just telling strangers. The one thing about me is I could kick the shit out of Hank anytime I want. He would just say that to strangers. That's crazy. It's just funny and true. Yeah.

Just saying the one thing about me. And just walking around. I'd beat Hank's ass. Saying he's going to get numbed. He's a great drunk. Yeah. He's a classic drunk. He really is.

And he's just, his body type is so funny. Max came to one of my shows. Oh, he was incredible. A couple weeks ago. And he was just screaming laughing the whole time. Yeah, then he got crowd worked for 10 minutes and didn't realize. Yeah, the guy was talking directly to him. He just wasn't even – he was awesome.

He is his walk to darts. Yeah. Find that clip. Find that clip, the darts walk. That is Max, yeah. Yeah, he just said on the show on Sunday night, he's like, I've been a really bad guy the last two days. He lost his phone before the Super Bowl.

Yeah, that sucks. That's the worst day to do that. With the tickets on it. Yeah, with the tickets on it. And, yeah, he was just so. Did he find it? No, he went and bought a new one. That was the best part.

At the end of the show, I was like, what time is your flight tomorrow? He's like, I don't know. I have no apps on my phone. That's crazy. He had a brand new phone he slept on hank showed me a picture he slept hank had two beds in his hotel room and max refused to sleep in the bed because he thought hank was like trolling him or something so he slept on the couch with a bed right next to why how would he be trolling him a Why? He was a bad guy. He was a bad guy. That's so crazy.

There's no way this bed is real. See the king here. See nightlife after Baron in the back. I am the most fired up for darts, Donnie. Here we are. The darts walk. Darts, darts, darts. Greer bought like 150 tickets to darts for June.

Oh, for the next week. They're all claimed already. Yeah. So we're going to have to get more. I think it would be funny if none of us pay him. I know. Best is that all the tickets are on his phone. That's why they all had to meet up last time.

Yeah. So they all had to go in together. Yeah. Just stand there scanning each one. Like, one, two, three. That's just how Greer buys tickets, though. If he wants to go to something, he buys, like, 20 tickets and just finds people to go with him. Yeah.

That's kind of a baller move. All right, Brandon, why don't you do the high noon ad? I can do the high noon ad. Last week was a high noon ad. It was just high noon everywhere. How's that pizza? Oh, it's delicious. It's fantastic, and I appreciate Kate for bringing it.

It's almost as delicious as the high noon that we had out in Arizona. It would pair very well with that pizza. Yeah, many flavors could. Watermelon? Pineapple. You would go with the pineapple on the pizza. I don't mind pineapple on pizza. The passion fruit would do well.

That's what flavors we had at the Barstool Bar Sunday night. We had the passion fruit and the pineapple. Saturday night? Saturday night, yes. When I saw you in the hotel, you were going to. I was coming from the Barstool Bar Sunday night, we had the passion fruit and the pineapple. Saturday night? Saturday night, yes. When I saw you in the hotel, you were going to, I was coming from the Barstool Bar. Oh, nice. Remember, we saw each other? Yes, ships passing in the night.

We shared a man hug. That was nice. I think that, yeah. We didn't. You actually dismissed me pretty dismissively. Oh, I didn't? Yeah, you did. I got into your car.

Yeah, you took my car. No, Mike was driving and you were done using it. But you didn't, I was like, hey, and you just kind of walked around me. You didn't really acknowledge me very much. I don't think I did. Your wife was very friendly. I was about to say that we built our relationship this week despite our trivia going head to head. Oh, I think we did get through that.

And now I'm the enemy of the state? No, you're not the enemy of the state. High Noon. High Noon is delicious. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no sugar added. No malt. No sugar added either. Yeah.

Very, very good drink. Very good for you. Also delicious. Sucking down some High Noons. You can get it at Drizzly. You can go to highnoonspirits.com. You can pretty much get it at any bar, I think high noon spirits.com pretty much get it any bar i think i mean i don't see any bars without high noon or you can go to brandon's house where he has like

7 000 cases i gave them all away but when i moved my neighbors got some though it's guys drink too yeah i drink fantastic i was out on friday night and one of the guys went and got around and he got high noons for the women and beers for the men i was like i want a high noon hell the hell no you were nice though ron i was just i was just just you know it was a quick moment we had hey ron ron i heard you were a dick to brandon walker yeah but you she didn't get away with that you fucking cheater shout out the security guards they They were awesome all week. Yeah, they were everywhere. They're the best of us.

Best. They really are. Best. They get to have fun at all. Did they get to have fun? No, they had fun, but they- No, they didn't get to go out one night, though. No?

They didn't get to go out one night. I was asking Mike all week, when are you going to go out? Yeah. It was like Saturday night, and then Saturday night he was working all night. I think the happiest I've ever seen Mike is he got to just dominate everyone in pickleball on Saturday. Or Sunday. He was good. He just held court, and he just—it was literally like he was playing—I looked up one point, he was playing two-on-one.

He was playing one-on-one. He was smiling ear-to-ear. Kind of a paper championship. Me and Kyle weren't there. He would have killed you. We were undefeated. He was beating Jake and Steven Chubb. We were undefeated, though have killed you we were undefeated we were he was beating you weren't good though we were undefeated tough undefeated yeah but are you guys in on the hype now on the pickleball yeah i am are you not yeah and i completely get it yeah i'm not yeah

it's just smaller tennis just as that's better you immediately feel like you can compete you don't huff and puff there's no exhaustion my problem with tennis is i just always want to just hit home runs that's what che that's how che was playing right so then they just made it smaller and i still want to just fucking smash the ball after like five minutes i'm like wouldn't this be more fun if it was a wiffle ball home run derby game it would be you know that yeah but that's one of the most fun things on earth. Right. So anytime I'm hitting a ball with an object, I'm like, this should be a wiffle ball home run. You could ask that question about any activity you're ever doing. Well, no.

No. If you're throwing a football around, you're not like. Would this show right now be more fun if it were a wiffle ball home run derby? I'm not hitting something. If I was hitting something with my hands right now, I'd be like, yeah, I wish this was a wiffle ball. Should we do a wiffle ball home run derby? That would be fun. Yeah.

When's our mall show? Ooh. Connor Griffin went there this weekend to scout some activities out. Activities? They're going to try and get it sold as a video and then present it in May. Kate, I went a couple weekends ago did you like it? it was awesome we did like

1 50th of the activities and it burned 4 hours they're happy to just walk around like that garden area Legoland Legoland is so sick I was in Legoland for like two hours. The aquarium and Legoland there are right next to each other.

Yeah. You get to one, you go right into the other. It's like $5 more to buy it for both. Food court's pretty solid. Food court is pretty solid. Although, I don't know if you guys are like this, but whenever I go to a mall food court, I'm like, look at all the options. And then I just end up with the most generic Chinese food. Oh, yeah. Hand-express. Yeah, but every I go to a mall food court, I'm like, look at all the options. And then I just end up with the most generic

Chinese food. Oh, yeah. Every time. Somehow, the Chinese food at mall food courts are better. No, it is. But it's like, I'm like, wow, I could get everything. And then I just walk by and I'm like, oh, yeah. I'll get this. They do a great job of just showing you their food. It's so fast.

Yeah, it is so fast. I could have that in seconds. Yeah, I like that. I just asked my girl her favorite restaurant. She said a sushi place in Lancaster. Oh, shit. Don't worry, he's in Chicago. Oh, I think. Stealing all the broads in Chicago

this week. He's out there this week? Yeah, what's he doing there? I think they're doing a Valentine's Day meet-up at the bar. Broad off. A broad off. Oh, God. White Sox Dave.

Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Is there a picture for it? Yeah, I'll take the under. Yeah. For the broad off. Yeah.

What is this? I need to know more details of it. What does this entail? I don't know. Broad off. I saw a picture of it. A traditional broad off. I need to know. Those two are just going does this entail? I don't know. I saw a picture of it. A traditional broad off. I need to know.

Those two are just going to bail and end up going to a movie theater in one long overcoat. Who would be on whose shoulders? That would be an awesome debate to watch. Yeah. I'm the fucking one who gets to be. I'm the face. We go to be. I'm the face. Go next to each other in the trench coat.

It doesn't make sense. Would never get in. I guess this wide boy is trying to see a rated R film. This wide Siamese twin. Siamese twins that look nothing alike.

So they really don't like each other, huh? I don't know. I don't think so. I think they don't like each other. By the way, I think the mid show is debuting today. Is that right, TJ? I don't know. I don't think so. I think they don't like each other. Yeah. By the way, I think the mid-show is debuting today. Is that right, TJ?

3 p.m., yeah. 3 p.m. So Barstool Chicago, they're starting the mid-show on YouTube, 3 p.m. on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays. Eddie, Chief, and White Sox Dave, live from Barstool Chicago. Right. So 3 p.m. on their YouTube. Tune in.

You got to be out by 3 p.m.? Nope. There's no hard out for us. This will be great, though. They're very excited. I talked to them for a while about it. So tune in. I'll tweet the stream whenever it goes live.

But yeah, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, they're doing a live YouTube show. Nice. What's the show going to be like? Is it going to be like an extension of Redline Radio? Are they going to be talking barstool stuff, sports? It's going to be, yeah. So I think they're doing Tuesday and Wednesday, they're going to be doing just general.

So everyone should tune in anyway, but it's a lot of general stuff. I think Thursday, the second hour, they're going to add a second hour that will be Chicago sports. But the other three hours are going to be general stuff, barstool stuff, debates, topics, segments. Love that. Yeah. That's sick.

It's going to be great. Shout out to the boys out in Chicago. And the mid-show. Got to get Nadeau on. Hopefully Nadeau will be on today. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. There it is.

Valentine's Showdown. Right now. I need more details on this. I got to know. What are they up to? The Ritchie-esque Cougine, bro. The craziest thing is I believe a lot of broads will show up. But, like, what are they?

He's a magnet. What is the scoring method? I think it's. Pussy fucks? Is it pussy fucks? Oh, I think it's like when they. Speed dating? No, the scientists go out in the ocean, they tag the sharks.

I think we give them each a, like they each get 50 tags. And by the end of the night, we just check behind every girl's ear. And see who's been tagged. It's a disadvantage if you fuck longer. True. Yep. It's a catch and release show, though. Okay.

Let's just make that clear. It'd be great if both of them found their future wives tonight. I hope not. If they both fall in love. Sisters. Oh, my God.

If Nadu and White Sox save her brother-in-laws. Yeah, they got dueling anniversaries This company's so big And our Valentine's Day idea is Nadeau And White Sox Dave We nailed it

Imagine Nadeau Like explaining to someone why he's going to Chicago For that Wait let's call him He's got a broad off tonight I'm traveling to go to a broad off. Deep meditation right now. A three-hour flight.

Who's going to be better? All right, Nadeau is on today, the mid-show. Okay, great. So that's guaranteed. We can still call him, though. We can call him and do a little prep for the mid-show because he's going to be on with White Sox Dave on the mid-show. They don't like each other.

Do they have any reason not to? I feel like there's a lot of people at this company who are like, I hate this. They both have great reasons. I think it's just asking, like, why do two alpha male mooses, like, tussle in the wild? Yeah, it's territorial. It's like silverbacks.

Yeah, they don't fucking know why they hate each other. They just, deep inside, they hate each other. Yeah. We should have them. Because everyone wants the other one's broads. It's like, because they want each other they just inside deep inside they hate each other yeah we should have them wants the other ones broads it's like because they want each other's broads the dew saw us as a threat he would hate us too true but he knows he could have it thank god he doesn't we should have him put on football helmets just smash heads yeah one of them gives up i could take days would never end didn't uh nadeadeau show Joey his bird or something like that?

He like showed him his dick or something? Yeah, I think so. And Joey said it was fine. No, he said it was like nice. He said it was huge.

Girthy. Oh, his fat dick. He had a fucking choke. Which I feel like has to help him at the broad off. You know what I mean?

If the word's just getting around that he's sitting on a coke can. I think it's a good matchup. I'm pretty sure White Sox... I think Nadeau is a better talker. Yeah.

And I think Dave's a better lure. Yeah, Dave's a better lure. I heard White Sox Dave has a nine-inch penis. Is that true? I think so. Has White Sox Dave ever claimed to be a broad getter? No, but he'll do no but he's a competition you know what white socks dave has and i don't mean this in a mean way but i'm picturing someone

like me drunk at the bar and looking at him being like i can fix that guy that guy needs fixing i'm like i think i can do it perfect yeah that guy, Nadeau is perfect. That guy needs no fixing. Right. They each have their own allure. He's a finished work of art. But it's Dave's home turf. It is. And didn't Dave, during March Madness, he was saying he brought 20 girls to the barstool bar

or something like that. I think maybe that's some of the genesis of it. So it's his home turf. Home city, but also his home bar. And he seems like he doesn't care. I can't see him chasing a girl. I don't know. No, it makes them chase him. That's what I'm saying. That's alluring. He is alluring.

The dude's had the best winter season that anyone's had that I can recall. So? Yeah. Is it a thing for single women to go out on Valentine's Night as broads? I think wasn't Grace talking about having a party for all the out on Valentine's Night as broads? I think, wasn't Grace talking about having a party for all the singles on

Valentine's Day? Who's up there for best winters? He's playing like Anthony Edwards right now. Anthony Edwards. Russians in World War II. They had a good winter. Real strong winter.

A mating aspect. Best win, yeah. Eric winter. Real strong winter. A mating aspect. Best winter. Bears, I guess. Eric Andre. You see Eric Andre's? Oh, did you see that picture? A pool by Andre. I know.

Yeah. Emily Radjikowski and Eric Andre, a thing. What? Oh, Eric. Did you see the photo today? Eric. Oh, this is good for funny guys. No.

Yeah, look at this. I like this. Look in the background. Look in the background. Look in the background. In the mirror. That means they just fucked. Eric, you're better than this. I was shocked at how dirty that rug was.

It was very upsetting. Oh, wow. They fucked hard. The rug's all filled up. You think they fucked on that little... That doesn't look like a good fucking chair at all. I think every chair is a good fucking chair with Emily R. Yeah.

That's true. That's hilarious that they're rich. Gives hopes to the funny guys. You just got to wait for your hot girl to have a child and get divorced. And also date Pete Davidson. Yeah, you just got to wait. You just got to wait it out. Although Pete Davidson's a funny guy too.

Ah, shit, yeah. I don't know. I don't know anymore. Yeah? What was the last funny thing he did? I think he's got a show coming out on Peacock. It's funny. Was it funny?

That's pretty funny. Yeah, it is funny. Him and Peacock? It's funny. You have to admit, Ron, that's funny. It was like a funny thing because I always wanted to like Pete Davidson, but I feel like that kind of dried up and he got more cool than funny. He is very cool.

He's more like Travis Barker now than like an SNL guy. Not like Daryl Hammond or some shit like that. I don't think you could be named Travis and be funny. Travis Kelsey is definitely not funny. I'm going to have some good interviews. Travis Kelsey is definitely not funny. I'm going to have some good interviews. Travis McCoy. Travis Tritt. Very funny. You think so? Sure.

In a country way. Hey, Travis. Hilarious. Very silly. You can't. I think you might be right. What about Trevor? Yeah, let's find the funniest Travis. It can't be funniest Trevor.

That's documented. You don't think so? Yeah, we should do a show. We should find the funniest Travis. Travis USA. Yes. Oh, wow. I'm in.

Welcome back to Funniest Travis USA Season 14. I dated a Travis once. Was he funny? In the Marines. And we were together for like a year. And one time he was like, I got something special. Did I? Maybe I already told this on here.

And all day long, I was like, what could it be? Is he going to propose? Like, whatever. Because Marines get engaged really quick. And it was that he had one of those lowrider trucks that couldn't go over speed bumps and stuff. It was like his hobby. Sounds like a Travis. His hobby was not go over speed bumps and stuff it was like his hobby sounds like a travis his hobby was not going over speed bumps he got huge his big surprise for him is they got huge like subwoofers put in in the little cab of the truck so that i couldn't fit in it anymore but

he thought i would think the speakers were cool and that is a travis move that's a funny travis that's a very travis maybe they are funny Travis. That's like a Travis-esque. That's a very Travis thing to do. Yak should host Funniest Travis USA. You're like, okay. He should. No. No. Hell no.

Hmm. Pastrana. Oh, Pastrana. No, he's rad. Oh, who's that guy? Travis Tritt. See? Tell me he's not a little funny.

Travis Riker. TikTok star. Yeah, I don't think so. Oh. Not really any funny Travis's. Oh, who's that? Etienne? All right, we got to find the funniest Travis.

Nominate the funniest Travis in your life. I'm down to do this. Just do a show where we just search for the funniest Travis in America. What are we basing it on? Video stand-up? Just interpersonal comedy? Video stand-up first name. Why don't we have...

TJ, what's a good email? Let's have all the Travis's submit their funniest video. What about Canadian Travis's? We'll have a Travis. I'm just worried about that. We'll have a Travis thing. There They gotta have some sort of proof. There has to be some sort of proof of Travis as their first name. A picture of their license

or something. Yeah, and they send a video to TJ. TJ, what should the email be? I'm picturing a room of 12 Travis's us as the Travi. This could work. This could be huge. 12 Travis's. Yes. This could be huge. Yes.

Group of Travis. Travis. Traverse? I think it retains the singular, Travis. 12 Travis. 12 judges, yeah. This is a hit. Yeah, this is going to be really big.

What if none of them are funny? That's what I want. I think they're all going to be very unfunny. It's got to be a funny. It has to be a funniest, but it doesn't mean he's funny. We're just finding the funniest Travis. It would also be funny if we find the funniest Travis and then plot twist, he goes by his middle name Mike. Yeah.

Oh, well, that makes sense. That would be controversy. Yeah. I think you have to go by Travis. Right, but we didn't realize until we were like, this one Travis is funnier than the others. And he's disqualified. Yeah.

So Travis is only. What do they have to, like, what is the. A minute video of their funniest material. Yeah. Okay. And your driver's license. Oh, I'm so fucking excited. And your driver's license.

And then if it's really good, we'll bring them in. It might have to be Travis Week. We'll bring in the top three. They're not hired by any means, but a really big trophy. Yeah, we'll start with just a video submission where we'll go through all the Travis videos one day. I want Travis Kelsey to be on and lose early. Okay. Can it be a sketch or it has to be like a stand-up attempt to be

funny 90 seconds whatever you want to wow us writing like I feel like I would even submit writing or take any submission well it could be a slideshow yes video format yes we can writing inform it yeah this is huge. I'm so excited. This has to have been what it felt like when you guys thought of Pardon My Take. Yeah. I'll tell you what, I might even do, what if we did grand prize, I name my son Travis. Holy shit. That's not worth it at all.

That's a death sentence. Sounds like a lose-lose for you. That's probably not. Just no matter what happens You're naming your kid Travis Sorry that's what it is Yeah just by us doing Travis week means I have to name my child Travis

Yeah You don't want a Travis Oh I don't want a Travis I'd fucking hate him How did we get to this? How did we get to this? We just started talking Travises Oh wait how do Travis Barker was hanging out with Pete Davidson How did we get to this? How did we get to this? We just started talking Travises. Oh, wait. Travis Barker was hanging out with Pete Davidson.

Davidson doesn't do anything funny anymore. I've never been a funny Travis. Speaking of Travis Pastrana, NASCAR. Oh, yeah. He's trying to qualify for the Daytona 500, which is this Sunday at 2.30 on Fox. It kicks off the 75th season of NASCAR. They just had the clash at the Coliseum, but now they got their Super Bowl. The biggest race of the year is in Daytona,

and Travis Pastrana is one of the drivers trying to qualify for it. I didn't know he was into that. Dude, shout-out to Large and Spider. They do such a good job at NASCAR, man. They really deserve that. They've got drivers in here constantly, too. Yeah, they really bust their ass. They're at all the races, and they care about it.

They're passionate about it. It's not some fake shit. You know what I mean? They actually care about NASCAR. So shout out to those guys. They do a great job covering it. What do you think about the Daytona diamond logo, or the NASCAR diamond logo for the 75th season? Well, I love NASCAR, and I think they did it right.

I like it a lot. Random. I like the logo a whole lot. I like that the diamond is broken up like that. Why is the blue not broken up? Well, I think that's how the NASCAR logo is. You know how it's split into lines at the end? I think they did the same ratio as that.

Oh, I see. Yeah, the boys and Alex Bennett going down. 75th. 75th. Speaking of large, I have a video out on the site with him right now. He came over to my house to cook Omaha steaks. No free ads. But for Valentine's Day.

That's just a regular ad. That's not an ad. I'm just saying. But was it an ad? It was. So it's not free. Jonathan Gannon. You can advertise.

Oh, yeah. Okay. And advertise the advertisement. Okay. The Cardinals. That's out now. Hey, undersell on your video yesterday. Very, very funny.

I think I was having like, I'm not kidding, I was having like an anxiety attack. I was hung over after the game. No, I just, you know when you're hung over and you're overthinking something and you're. It was the perfect loss video. Yeah. It was the perfect loss video. And Smitty getting into a fight with someone. Smitty smacking the microphone off the man's titty.

Oh, yeah. See that? He was, he worked here. He still does stuff at Barstool. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Smitty smacking the microphone off the man's titty. See that? He worked here. He still does stuff at Barstool. Yeah. Smitty? No, the intern. The intern who got...

Wait, that was Lee's breast? Yes. He's an absolute delight. Wait, that was Lee Holbert? Yeah. He wears the John Crook jersey. Yeah, he's John Crook. The one that Dave loved just by looking at him.

Yeah. That was him. Yep. White pick guy. He was a champ. That's how Max also communicates with just slaps and tummy punches and stuff. Yeah. That was kind of a little, it's a Philly thing. Yeah.

He was just roughing you up a little bit at the game. Oh, yeah. And memes. He was just doling out punishment. That's right. Kind of sick. That is sick. Thump. There you go.

Yeah. It was sad. I know. I know. I can't really imagine a worse fall. It's the opposite of Nadeau's winter. Just loss, MLS, loss, World Series, loss, Super Bowl. You should really make the Super Bowl best out of three.

That's how you'd find out the best. That would be fun. If we had three Super Bowls, it would be sick. That would. Skip the regular season, just get the good teams in the playoffs. Best of three series. Then do you have three halftime shows? True.

Good point. Can't have three Rihannas. He doesn't have enough catalog for that. DJ, any emails from any Travis yet? I got one. You got one from Travis Lindsay, but he's from Halifax. I told you Canadian Travis. He might have some juice.

I actually think they're the best. Who's Travis Canada? We're in America. Because we don't know. Travis in Canada might be a fucking stellar name. Might be. That's what I'm worried about. I would have to be a whole different season.

I think it's got to be American. I mean, we could do... Yeah, we could do Travis International. Yeah. Yeah. Travis Abroad. An Indian Travis. Oh.

Fucking awesome. Yeah, that would rock. Travis Abroad. We're here. We're here in Czechoslovakia trying to find the funniest Travis. I know we joke, but I'm going to end up missing a fucking week of Yaks doing fucking Travis content down in fucking Orlando. We should hold it. Tampa and Orlando have to have the most Travis's. The most Travis's per capita. By far. Lake Travis. We finish hold it. The final thing. Tampa and Orlando have to have the most Travises. The most Travises per capita.

By far. Lake Travis. We finish everything at Lake Travis. Yeah. We drop them in the middle and whoever can survive, kill all the other Travises. Now it's not a funny thing. It's a survival thing. No, now we're actually doing the world a service by killing a lot of Travises.

I would like to have one of those tennis ball guns and they're going through an obstacle course and we're hitting them with those. Yeah. American Gladiator style? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blaze. Make this really complex. That would be funny.

Make them wear name tags. Yeah, I'm picturing that. No qualifiers. No Travis S. No, no. And so when the elimination comes, we're just going to be so confused. The bottom three. I want a warehouse of 100 Travises to start it off.

Yeah. I want a Mr. Beast amount of Travises. We gathered 100 Travises nationwide. I can see the History Channel stealing this. Oh, yeah. By far. We're not going to do other names in seasons. It's always Travis.

What if Bravo did Real Housewives of Travis? It's just chicks married to a guy named Travis. The real Travis's of America. Just having to deal with a Travis all day. Honestly, it'd probably be an amazing show. Yeah, it would. I'd watch that. I feel like Travis's are into lowrider trucks like X Games. Yeah, they're all into an amazing show. Yeah, it would. I'd watch that. I feel like Travis's

are into low rider trucks like X Games. Yeah, they're all into the same shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ride motocross. Have Mohawks. Yeah.

But not the long kind, like the short. Right, right, right. Uh-huh. Travis. I don't know any Travis's. No, a Canadian Travis.

That's my only Travis I know. Canadian Travis. Yeah. Is there a Travis here? Do we have a Travis at Barstool yet? That would kind of suck for him. I don't think we have a Travis at Barstool.

Are you sure? No. Not in content, I don't think. Seems like something we'd have. We have a Travis for the boys. Yeah. That's not his actual name. That's the funniest thing that Travis has ever done.

Yeah. It was done by a Sean. Jesus. That goes to show. Yeah. Funniest Travis is a Sean. I think Sean's kind of cousins.

Yeah. Sean's and Travis's. Yeah. Sean's are just, yeah, Travis's that were able to get a real job. I don't even know how to.

Oh, we know Travis, the guy that jumps off cliffs. He's too cool. Oh, way too cool real job. I don't even know how to... Oh, we know Travis, the guy that jumps off cliffs. He's too cool. Oh, way too cool. Yeah. He wouldn't even try to be funny. Great guy, Travis Sims. He's like a professional cliff diver.

He's a man. He extreme sports. That's... Yeah. Yep. Pits the bill. I'm going to start scouting. You don't know any comics named Travis?

No. I'm just doing my searching. Oh, Travis... No. Travis kills me. No, I don't. I'm off the top of my head now. Travis White was my first friend in second grade.

Was he white? No. That's funny. But that's more on his parents. Well, I guess not really. Probably. Never mind. I want to have some of that pizza Kate it's delicious pizza

am I cold I don't know I don't know what I was thinking it looks excited it might be better cold though I'll have a little bit of pizza I was going to get one for myself and they pulled a whole

fresh one out of the oven and I was like can I just take that whole thing I think you pulled a curious move you definitely didn't bring enough plates sloppy I asked for a couple

plates from them and they yeah brought like three plates I don't know how many they put in there. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? Yeah.

Wait, TJ, what's your name? Timothy. Oh. Nice guy to submit. How funny would that be? His name was Travis and we didn't even know. TJ's Travis. He's just been playing coy

the whole time. What a reveal at the end of the show. Yeah. All right, that makes sense. Your dad's name. What's Fuck Banana again? What are we after?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do the whole episode with their finger and a banana. Okay.

Do we have something residual left over? Oh, ML Cake Day. Oh, ML Cake. Bingo. We got to do bingo, too. Yeah. Bingo. And do it next week.

KB has to give a homeless person $100. Okay. All right. I'll think of ML Cake this week. Yeah. So next week we'll do MLK. We got to do bingo, too. Yeah. And do it next week. He has to give a homeless person $100. Okay. All right, I'll think of MLK this week. Yeah, so next week we'll do MLK. And next week, next Wednesday, the boys are going to Le Ben Arden. Whoa. After the Yak on Wednesday. Nice.

I don't know if we'll be able to video it or what. No, no. No content can come from it. Okay, so we'll just give a recap on Thursday. No. No? Okay. We should take one picture of us right before so that you know we went.

Do I have to wear a coat? Do I have to wear a coat to that? And Ascot. Yeah. Ascot. I'm just going to pepper Nate with questions the whole time. You two, Che and Nate? Yep.

How did Nate get involved? I think Roan maybe added him. Part of it, yeah. Very excited for it. It's going to be so delicious. Is that okay, Brandon? It's fine. I just don't remember how that foursome came together.

A problem with Nate? None whatsoever. Are you sure? You're still sore at me about the Saturday night thing? I was just... We haven't even changed. No, it's fine. We'll know if you have a problem.

You had a great interaction Saturday night. I'm sorry I brought it up. You just didn't. There wasn't a lot of life in your hug, that's fine. Well, no, if you have a problem. You had a great interaction Saturday night. I'm sorry I brought it up. You just didn't. There wasn't a lot of life in your hug, that's all. Huh. I feel bad. It's okay. Can you give me a really big hug?

Yeah, but off camera, though. What's the point? Pat and Joey have a new show coming out today called Working Girls. They're doing like dirty job style things. Oh, hell yeah. That's going to be very funny. Do you know what time? I think it came out at 1.

Oh, sweet. Oh, that's kind of fucked up. What's their first job? I believe they did dog grooming. Oh, I like that. Did Pat do a BF reveal? Yes, he did. Hasn't he done it before?

I never saw him before. It was like the hard drop. The dirtiest job the gay guys could find is dog grooming? No, I think they're easing it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that is a funny act. Let them ease into it.

Let them dip their toe. Dirty jobs by the gay guys serving wings in a bar on an NFL Sunday. Cashier. Ew. Usually gays do kid grooming. Oh, God. Oh, Brad. What, I can't joke too?

No, no, no. To be fair, dog breeding is putting a penis in a vagina. No, they're doing dog grooming. Grooming. Just making the poodles look fancy. I thought it was breeding. Because that would be gross for them. Yeah. Heterosexual sex.

That would be. Usually the lesbians handle the scissors, right? Yep. They express the anal glands. I don't know, man. I don't know. They express the dog's anal glands. That is a dirty job.

Yeah. It's a gross job. Express? Yeah. You know what that is, Seth. It pushed the fucking butt in. That's why dogs scoot, right? When their little butt things are about to explode?

Yes. That release is so fucking gross. Gross liquid comes out. It smells like fish. Oh, it smells like... I think, who else? It smells like butt and pussy. Yeah, it was putting a poop inside of a pussy. What if it feels awesome, though, when they rub their...

When they scoot? No, I think it feels awesome when they get them expressed. It's like wiping their ass. Next time I shit, that's how I'm going to wipe my ass. You do it yourself, like at home? No, randomly. My dogs don't do it yourself, like at home? No, randomly. My dogs don't do it. My sister's dog does it, and randomly it just starts smelling like fish.

And then we have to put him outside. It's genuinely repulsive. Outside to do what? Get the smell away. Just walk around. That's when you've got to express it. We're not expressing that. Well, you can take it to the vet.

My sister does. I don't. It's like $10. There should be a tool For that already Yeah I used to do it Stella was so gross In the tub

That was a pizza Ron It was really good Needed that I know I wasn't asked But I figured I'd answer Because Ron's got a full mouth Pizza Thanks for stepping in.

I was not saying the pizza's good. This is for white power. Where's Che today? Don't know. I thought you knew. His dad is struggling. It will be interesting to see how he deals with the first true losing streak. He stressed me yesterday.

I had a 9.30 flight from Phoenix, and I got to the airport at 6.30 because I was scared it was going to be packed and terrible and awful. And he had a 9 o'clock flight, and he texted me at 7.45 and said, hey, how's the airport? And he was really pushing it, and that bothered me. Yeah. That's bullshit. You know what I'm saying?

Nick knows. What are you talking about? Because you like to get there early, too. I got there so early. Nick, I'm saying It knows jump up. Did you like to get there early to get there? So I'm one up in you tonight What I'm going I'm going on vacation tomorrow and the flight got moved up. I didn't know they could just do that to you Oh, yeah, so I'm staying at the hotel. Oh, I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous TWA It's like it's like the new hotel they open in JFK that looks like it's from the 50s. It's like a Mad Men.

Very cool. Didn't Quigs get a room there for a weekend just to watch planes? Yeah, he just stayed there by himself. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so jealous. It's so Quigs. Yeah.

You can go. They turned airplanes into bars and stuff, so you can go onto the airplanes and hang out. It looks legitimately awesome. There's a pool that's right on the tarmac, so you can lay there as planes are going. What? It's supposed to be a hip, cool spot. I might do that this weekend.

Yeah. That's awesome. Look at that. Daniella was just there for a big night. Yeah, that's where I saw it. Yeah, it's supposed to be really cool. Look at that fucking hotel. It's amazing.

I know. I never would have thought of doing it until I saw it, and I was like, well, that seemed pretty cool. What is that? What that is? I know I would never I never would have thought of doing it until I saw it and I was like well that seemed pretty cool what that is it's a bar what that is your rooms are like right on the runway

and I guess they have the thickest glass ever for what the rooms oh so you're not bothered by the sound I didn't even think about that I'm so jealous. Because I was like, I don't want to stay there if you can hear. And then on the website, it was like, the rooms are basically soundproof.

That's a good way to get your kids pumped up for the flight, too. Like, guys, this is an exciting, happy thing. Nobody freak out on the plane because look how cool. We're watching them all night. You're definitely going to hit the glass a little bit, right? Yeah, I'm going to just suss it out. I'll probably bring some fucking... Bring the tungsten.

A tungsten, yeah. Just mess it out Yeah I'll probably bring some Fucking Bring the tungsten Yeah Just give me a couple throws And Jack got tungsten dice Oh wow Yeah Yeah are you jealous though Nick I'm sleeping at the

I would've I would've gotten two nights there Yeah Just get really prepped Just really in the zone Who's that in the zone. Who's that in the lobby? Man reading some papers.

Doesn't look like he belongs here. I'm kind of bummed they frosted the glass on the front door. I know. We're peering out. Yeah. That cracked me up a lot this morning. How I had to like talk and be like, hi, can I come in? You have not gotten a card yet.

We can still use our card though, right? Yeah. It just like broke. It stopped working like my first month here. It's been rolling everywhere. You've been paid? Yeah. Oh, okay. I think.

Yeah, my paycheck got broken too. I'm worried about the Sully Why? He's been trying to own me He's been trying to own me too What is this new leaf? I don't know He took my phone before the Dozen Live show started

And I couldn't find it I was freaking out because I had notes on there for jokes to say And then as the show was going on He just lifts it up and goes like this to me What? Sully also had his first negative experience with dave it might be it oh he's lashing out has to be it so how bad was it apparently it was pretty bad he uh i can't remember who told me this but he was flying his

drone during uh golf they were doing the sandbagger i I heard this. It was bad. He flew it during Josh Richard's backswing and Dave got very upset. Yeah, Fasoli flew a drone too close to me on horseback and my horse freaked out. Yeah. And he apparently, Fasoli then was like, I gotta go charge my drone and just left for like two hours. Oh. He was probably sitting, looking

in a mirror being like, you blew it. Flashing out at us. You blew it. That was your big experience. He's getting his Viva tattoo laser removed. Yeah, so he's probably he's going to be thinking about that experience

for the rest of his life. Yeah. Oh no. Okay. He can lash out at me. I know how important he needs to. I'm here for you, Nick. We got anything else? No. I said,

Travis, we got Travis. Oh yeah, we have stuff to do. When are we going to go through the submissions? So far, I have an Andrew, a Trent,

a Holly, and a Travis that's never seen the show before. Let's do Tuesday. How did he know about this? Hey, all my cousin reached out to me earlier today. Wait, front runner. That's what we need. I've never listened to your show and have no

idea who you are. I would never entertain the possibility of going to bat for Travis's all over the world, but you'd be sorely mistaken if you think I won't go to bat for myself. Okay. That wasn't funny. No, he took it personally. Yeah.

I say we do it Tuesday. There will be took it personally. Yeah. All right, so yeah. He kind of did. I say we do it Tuesday. So there will be no Yak Friday and Monday. Every Tuesday. Every Tuesday. So this upcoming Tuesday when we're all back together, we'll go through all the Travis submissions. And you can submit other Travis's.

Yes. Yes. And it could be a funny video of something they did. Yes. Yeah, he could do it unintentionally. Right. Can we get some shirts made in time that just say Travis? Yeah. Travis T. Yeah. Travis T. some shirts made in time that just say Travis? Yeah.

Travis T. Yeah. Travis T. They just say Travis. They just say Travis. I think white, block letters, green shirts. White, block letters, green shirts. You think green?

Oh, no. I'm over. No. I think they should be neon green. Whoa. Okay, yeah. There's not much neon about the name Travis. Are you kidding?

Oh, I think it's very neon. It's a very neon name. They definitely rocked the Nike Elites. Yeah, I think we neon green with white block letters that just say Travis. Reebok zigs. We're going to have Travis uniforms now? Yeah. No, no, we're just try-ins.

Week from today will be Travis day. Can we also, too, because non-Travis's are going to reach out, can we just glance at those as well? No. Okay. Or we can We're just doing Barstool Idol.

That's true. Or TJ if you could set aside like 10 and we have to guess if they're Travis or not it would be the easiest game. I want Che someone text Che

I want him to start Travis episode with a PowerPoint on the history of Travis'. And Connor, if you could do a Travis theme song. Please. Connor got Dave's rap, too. Geez.

Yeah, I didn't like that. I was uncomfortable. What's a bat for him? I know, good. What happened? He kind of got on TJ a little bit, too, which I didn't like. Yeah, the first day Barstool Radio, or I guess it was YouTube, we had no intro. We just walked up.

It was very awkward. Second day, we're like, we need an intro. And someone got Connor to narrate an intro. And Dave was like, that sucked. And I was like, well, I understand what he was doing. And I think he was just asked to use the voice. Okay. It was a light.

Yeah. A little ribbing. Yeah was a light. Yeah. A light. A little ribbing. Yeah. All good. Yeah. All right, so next Tuesday, Travis Day. All right. Reminder, no yak Friday, no yak Monday.

We're going to enjoy the long weekend, the extra long weekend. Does nothing rhyme with Travis? No. Is it the orange of names? Travis. Have this. Rabbit. Yeah. Navis. Nothing one word. Navis a word? Navis. Hav-this. Hav-it. Yeah.

Navis. Nothing one word. Navis a word? Navis. I don't think. Navis feels like a word. Roan, what rhymes with Travis? Mavis, but it's spelled like it rhymes.

Beaconhead ass. Halvis. Clavis. Havis. Ravis. Gravis. Gravis. But isn't that Gravitas? You'd be fucked if you had to rap against somebody named Travis.

Oh, my God. Killer than Tavis? Okay. Oh, it's a lizard extinct. You could do a lot of slang things. You could turn it into an average thing. Like Travis, average Travis. That's why you're the best.

Classist. Classless. When's your rap battle? Or the F-slur. Classless. When's your rap battle? Or the F-slur kind of. When is your rap battle? Not this coming weekend, but the weekend after that. So everyone get ready. Rowan's going to be just eviscerating us for an entire week.

Oh, yeah. I've been happening for a while. I've been mean to everybody for quite some time now. I blame me throwing the football at Nick on me being in rap battle mode. I blame me cheating on the guy. He's on rap battle mode. He's on rap battle mode.

Anything bad that happens, I'm going to blame on that. He's got a battle coming up. Right, it's fine. Everyone give him space. But please buy that pay-per-view. It's for a very good cause when that eventually comes out. Yeah. I'll buy it five times with the money you sent me.

Okay. All right. See you in a little while. All right. Happy Valentine's. See you soon. We'll be right back. Get your Travis's in, folks. So far I have an Andrew, a Trent, a Holly, a Travis, a Tavis, an Alex, and a Sam.