The Yak - We're Just a Bunch of Barstool Beasts | The Yak 4-19-23

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

*cowbell rings incessantly*You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hello! Hello.

Yak. Presented by Roback. Use code yak on roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. That's generous. Shorts. I'm doing the ad. Shorts. Damn, that's generous. Zoom back into me, TJ. God, that's generous shorts i'm doing the ad shorts damn that's generous

we zoom back into me tj god that's generous yak 20 off first purchase uh through the end of this week so go check it out the most comfortable clothes in the world i'm wearing it big announcement we have francis in studio hey Hey, welcome back, Francis. What's up, man? What's up, brother? What's up, man? Thank you. He's here.

Legend in the flesh. Oh, sorry, I forgot. Rone is also back. Rone. One day. Good to be back. Miss you guys. Fuck yes. Miss you guys.

What happened yesterday? Good news for everyone? Well, I couldn't talk during the ad because you had to do that. Yeah. Okay. I got one more, though, for you. Go ahead. So what's ad because you had to do that. Yeah. I got one more though for you. Go ahead. What's in the box?

Your gift. Sausage. Okay. You did it. You get to keep your blue check mark. I got you some sausage from Country Pleasing Sausage. The best sausage in America. Should we eat some? We'd have to cook it. Let's eat some. Is there sausage pre-cooked?

Well, some is, but I don't think this one is. Hot dogs? Hickory smoked. Yeah. Five pound smoked sausage. I'm solo parenting this week, and last night, my kids, I was like, what do you guys want for dinner? And they didn't give me an answer, so we had hot dogs, and by we, I mean I cooked four

hot dogs. They took one bite each, and I ate four hot dogs. Nice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it feels strong hot dogs. They took one bite each, and I ate four hot dogs. Nice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it feels strong. Awesome. Wrong. I brought a gift for Brandon.

Wait, what? I missed him so much. That's nice of you. I got a gift for you, brother. I got a gift for you. I brought throughout 15 pounds of sausage. I appreciate that. I have a gift for you.

Okay, what you got? Would you like to see your gift? I would. Okay, so gift for you. Okay. What you got? Would you like to see your gift? I would. Okay. So let me set the stage. Rone, I know you've been watching the NBA playoffs. Friends, have you been watching the NBA playoffs? Big time.

Big time. Have you been watching the series out west? What, Lakers? The other one. Kings. Clippers. Phoenix. Kings Warriors.

Okay. We've been watching it. I always watch the long highlights, like the 10-minute highlights. Love it. So have you noticed that the Kings, their crowd is electric. It's incredible. Like the beam. Mm-hmm.

And I was watching the game the other night, and I was like, what is that sound? And I realized, there was actually a video as well, the Kings fans, I've never seen this in all sports, the Kings fans have cowbells. Oh, that's so clever. And I was like, this is never, like what, and no sports team's ever done this. Yeah. So I got Brandon, I don't even know if you know how to ring this, a Kings cowbell. What?

As far as I know, they're the only team that's ever made a cowbell as part of their fandom. Works. Is a Kings cowbell. Yeah. As part of their fandom. Works. It's a king's cowbell. So nice of you. Yeah. You agree that you've never seen this before? Well, I mean, I have. No, no, no.

I've never seen it. I've got a lot of experience. Oh, imagine a crowd doing that. It's insane, dude. It's electric, right? You want to hold it, Ron? Well, no. Look, it has a handle.

It has a handle for the cowbell. Hey, where's the handle? Ron, can I have it after you? Get a ring on this. Because I imagine that if it existed, it would be on like this wall of memorabilia, but there's not a cowbell in sight, so no one must. So I should get rid of my other ones just to set this joke up? Francis, hold on.

Hold that for a second. You said you have been watching this series. I have been, yeah. No, you keep that cowbell. Oh, you want me to have it? No, he's I have been, yeah. No, you keep that cowbell. Oh, you want me to have it? He's not even holding it right. You keep that cowbell. I was always hoping you might. That's not how you hold it. Yeah, that cowbell. Get on your desk.

That's your cowbell. Turn it upside, Francis. Brandon, I think you have this mistaken for your cowbell. Yeah, that's Francis' cowbell. Because this one's mine. Or many like it. You said that was my gift. Yeah, but I decided, Francis, I Because this one's mine. Or many like it. You said that was my gift. Yeah, but I decided, Francis, I saw it in his eyes.

He was like, I'm. You changed midstream? Yeah, you could just see how enthusiastic he is about the NBA playoffs. Light the beam. Light the beam. Francis, name two Sacramento Kings. Okay. Boy, there's the guy who was playing for the Warriors,

and now he doesn't anymore. I'm counting that. I'm counting that, Harrison Barnes. No. Please drop that. Counting that, that counts. Here, this guy, he's been on the Kings longer than he was on the Warriors. Is that so?

Yes. Wow. Very good player. Does he have a name? Harrison Barnes. Harrison Barnes is his name. That's you counting? And, you know, you know what you can find at any place when you go visit some barns?

A little cowbell. Wow. Really putting the cowbell in Barnes' noble of you. At least hold it right. He's holding it correctly. Sorry, I can't hear you. Yeah, he's holding it correctly. Brandon, you could give Nick the sausage or something like that.

Want me to name some kings? But then you would lose your checkmark. You would lose your checkmark. No, I brought you take away my sausage, you lose your checkmark. You would lose your checkmark. No, I brought, you take away my sausage, you lose your checkmark. Sausage is for everybody. And, Roan, your hat is on my computer desk at home. What about my shirt? Oh, what a great gift.

Also, right beside that. Yes. I texted Roan, and he picked out his own gift. I'm going to give Kate a ring. Oh, okay, nice. Why does Kate? She's gotten one before. Yep.

Didn't end well. No, it didn't. That's all right. Oh, wow. I's gotten one before. Yeah. Didn't end well. No, it didn't. That's all right. Oh, wow. I am good at that. Wow. That's cool. All your sorrows just went away.

It really did. That is something that, again, the Kings fans, whoever came up with that in Sacramento. Innovative. You said. Innovative. You said you would never go to a Mississippi State game because the cowbells would drive you fucking crazy. I want to go to a Kings game. That's what you said. You said you would never go. a Mississippi State game because the Cowbells would drive you fucking crazy. I want to go to a Kings game. That's what you said.

You said you would never go. I want to light the beam. I want to light the beam. There will be at least one more home game no matter what. Maybe I'll go. You should. That would be so sick. They're going to win the series.

Are they going to win the series? Either they'll have one more this series or several next series or two more this series. Yeah, I had a good trip home. I enjoyed it. I did a lot of fishing um a lot of yak fans tried to cancel my birthday reservation that my mom made 250 you uh hit the cowbell i was talking about it's gonna be i think the cowbell is you use it for if uh the kings are doing something good or if someone's telling a really boring story. Okay. That's a great idea. I went fishing most of the days.

We went five days in a row, only caught three. That's why people tell big fish stories. Embellish, embellish. I need more. Brandon, you can have the cowbell. I don't want the cowbell. You can have the cowbell. I have my own cowbell.

You can have the Sacramento Kings cowbell. I have multiple cowbells. Take the cowbell. It don't want the cowbell. You can have the cowbell. I have my own cowbell. You can have the Sacramento Kings cowbell. I have multiple cowbells. Take the cowbell. It's a gift. Here, Brandon. Not. Not your goose. Not your goose.

You do it like this? He did get your goose. I know. Is this how you do it? It's all good. I brought sausage. I have 15 pounds, and we've got to figure out what to do with it. You were on my.

Put your hand. There you go. You do it so uncouthly. First of all, this is kind of a cheap cowbell. It's a cheap cowbell. We're holding it upside down. He's at a 30. You don't know how to bring a cowbell.

He's already insulting the cowbell. You accentuate the noise. The noise comes out of here. I think you broke the cowbell. I didn't. All right, yeah, Brandon, go ahead. Tell us how it was. It was good.

It was good. Two weeks? Two weeks. It was a little long, yeah. We were supposed to come back Monday, but something happened, and I can't remember what it was. Oh, I had to take Tommy to the emergency room. He's okay? He's okay now, yeah.

I texted you about that. Yeah, I ignored it. I saw that. Yeah. You text me about it. You're like, I got Tommy in the yard. I kind of ignored it. Yeah, you ignored it, so I ignored it. I responded, when was the last time you saw the Goonies?

Because I haven't put your name in my phone yet. So I didn't know who it was, and then I went back and looked. And by the time I went back and looked, I didn't have anything to say. Inquired as to the health of your young boy. You did. It was very thoughtful, and I appreciate it. So thoughtful you neglected to respond. You said yours was thoughtful. I didn't say my response was thoughtful.

There wasn't one. You didn't respond to a lot of texts, right? I responded to yours. No, yeah, you did. Yeah. What else? I'm just saying there was a little thing to do. That wasn't me.

No, that was me responding to something I shouldn't have responded to. Fair. It certainly wasn't me not responding. You've been fun to follow, Brandon. There's been so much shit going on with you every single single day i tried to quit did you actually you tried to quit yesterday no what happened monday try to quit monday yeah i thought this was all after like uh basketball it was monday oh but you uh it wouldn't give me a cowbell you have a new house and stuff the day i bought the house yeah so what that would have that's such a bad idea

you are a very yeah very irrational thinker yeah that was dumb oh my god that was dumb you're living beyond your means yeah that was an emotional decision you're like one of those players on last chance you yeah yeah yeah i was irrational but i i you But at some point, enough's enough, and I was like, fuck it. Fuck it, I'm out. Right. She's coming with me. Who do you think would come with you? Nobody would come with me.

Katie Stats. I didn't want anybody to come with me. Oh, she would definitely not. No? You wouldn't let me quit. No, I was laughing because I was sitting next to Brandon and Rico, two guys who tried to quit in the last six months. Rico did quit.

What they don't realize is they ain't going anywhere. We got them for life. Yeah. They ain't going anywhere. So wait, yeah, you just said no? You're quit. They were just like, nah. Well, we got our claws in you, dude.

You can't. How far in the- Literally cannot quit. You are barstooled. You're circus folk like us. You're dying in this company like the rest that's fine it is what it is you think you go i mean i'm happy i just yes the other day i just i just got all i was just like fuck still and i was like enough in three months okay that's still one

month one month three months it's the same what do you think you would have did if you quit i don't know i'll probably go back to... There's a misconception. I was happy in Mississippi before I got here. I was happy. I was a small-time worm farmer, but I was having a good time. But you've got a taste of the good life. Your expensive haircuts, your products, your clothing, your shoes.

BMW. BMW. Steak and sex dinner nights. I had those before. Yeah, your pallets of sausage. You weren't getting pussy as a poor man. No, you weren't. No, he was.

Unfortunately, I was. Besides all the kids. He was. Doc, can you switch this TV? We just see TJ scrolling. Is TJ bored? I don't know. I don't know what he's trying to find.

It's a reflection of our banter. Brandon, you're never going anywhere. I know. I don't want to buy it. It's a reflection of our banter. Brandon, you're never going anywhere. I know. I don't want to go anywhere. In the moment, I was like, fuck, just stop and whatever. I got you for life. Yeah. But then you'd poke back at, like, Nadeau.

I needed some reps. Yeah. You got a nice one. I needed to get in the batting cage and get some cuts in, and I got them on Ndudu last night. What did Ndudu do? He tweeted about how much Riz he's got. Which he does.

Okay. Every guy I know who has a shitload of Riz will tweet about it. Yes. Saying I have a lot of Riz. Right. If you're announcing it, you got it. Right. Exactly.

It's the ones that don't talk about it. Those are the losers. Right. Riz-less. Yeah. Respect to Cujin It's not a fucking thing for Latinas Yeah I made him mad You can tell Brandon Walker continued to talk shit

I'm tired of it What if he tried to quit That wasn't even a reply tweet No You know someone's mad when they don't even at you and they just say your full name. Yeah. And to use periods. Yeah.

But when you lashed out, it was like when you beat up the 5'2 kid on your front lawn. Yeah. Just kind of picked him out. Old habits. There's an important distinction. It was his front lawn. I went to his house to do it. You went over to his timeline and you were like, I'm hopping in this.

See, I get very few people have the charm and riz that I have, but imagine not having any riz at all, which is most of the men today. And again, like I said Monday with Dave, I was like, enough is enough. I saw that and I'm like, alright, enough's enough. We can't be tweeting.

That's a funny response. It's so good. Shooting game to broads that don't even have air conditioning in Lancaster, PA. Which is not a shot at how poor they are. It's just a shot that it's Amish. And then they do came. I thought it was temperate.

He replied, you're from fucking Mississippi. Should you really be commenting? And Brandon said, if you fuck like you fight, I'm guessing there's a skyrocketing lesbian population. Oh, my God. You went nuclear.

Brandon. Yeah, that one was a little much, but I was feeling it at the time. You know, I was in the cage. I was hitting bombs. I felt good. Sometimes you got to show off. You came into the cage with a fucking bazooka.

Using to do his roast rehab is so funny. I'm going to be honest. It's the truth. Dave knocked me around a little bit. I'm going to be honest. It's the truth. Dave knocked me around a little bit. I had to knock somebody else around. It felt fine. Circle of life. And Jeff can handle it.

It's like you lose your fastball, and we got you set up. The rehab start. Beautiful place in Malibu. Perfect Wi-Fi. You're just going to have to tweet about Nadeau for a day. Yeah. You'll be fine. Artiste numbers. Yeah. Yeah'll be fine. Atis numbers.

Yeah. Yeah, he is. You're Fernando Tartis. Your rehab starts. Live home runs. I tweeted that, and immediately I was like, well, I don't think what he did matched what I did at all. I do can handle it.

He's a good sport. So I bought a house. Can you show it to me? I'll give you my credit card. I can show it to you, yeah. I'll give you my credit card. I can show it to you, yeah. I'll give you my credit card, and if I give it away, you can read off the number. That's an old credit card. How many bedrooms?

Four. Four bedrooms. Is that enough? Yeah, there's a bonus room, too. A bonus room? Four bedrooms plus a bonus room. Is that what it was listed as? Yeah.

No, no, what's in a bonus room? It's an office. They've got it as an office. A bonus room. Is that what it was listed as? Yeah. No, no, what's in a bonus room? It's an office. They've got it as an office. Bonus room is a bedroom without a closet. Correct, yes. That's actually a thing. Yeah. I've never heard that.

Oh, I didn't either. I was looking for a real estate agent being like, we got five bedrooms, four baths, and a bonus room. No, that's a standard thing in real estate. Bonus room. Bonus room. There you go, Rowan. I'll just send it to you. That's just because they legally can't call it a bedroom. If it doesn't have a closet, you can't call it a bedroom.

Or a window. Brandon, when you're touring a house, do you still ask to see the master bedroom, or do you call it the primary? I call it the master bedroom. Oh, no. I refer to most things as bed. Oh, no. I had a feeling.

I refer to most things as master. Hey, Brandon. Yeah, right? His house. Are we getting invited over? Congratulations. Yeah. Thank you.

Oh! I know what you just got, too. Let me see the picture of that cowboy. Wait a minute. Am I seeing this correctly over your shoulder, Rowan? Because if I am, I've got to tell you, this looks really good. No hints. No hints, no nothing. I tell you, this looks really good. No hints. No hints, no nothing.

I'm just saying it looks really good. Ren is gonna fuck up and dox himself eventually. It's lovely. Oh my God. That was the fifth one I offered on.

You tried to quit? You idiot. Yeah. Look at what God has given you, dude. Look at the fucking bounties. Well, is Portnoy God now? I mean.

That's the problem around this motherfucker. I'm not saying that. I was just saying, God, the... given you dude look at the fucking bounties of portnoy god now i mean that's the problem around this motherfucker i'm not saying that i was just saying god the the real deal she said look how blessed you are brother it's really nice brandon i'm happy for you thank you very much i appreciate that also that's an incredible price yeah right i was deeply disconcerting about my future here in new york city yeah now we should say he he is kind of living in Wisconsin, but it's beautiful. Is it quite far? Oh, yeah.

How long? 45? An hour and a half. An hour and 20 without traffic. If you go off hours, you'll be fine. Come in early. I'll be going off hours. People do crazy here to get to New York.

I'm on an hour commute right now. I like driving going off hours. Yeah. People do crazy here to get to New York. I'm on an hour commute right now. I like driving in my car. It's the days that your commute somehow becomes like a three and a half hour. That will kill you. I'm excited about having a car again or at least getting to drive again. If you're working a late night, just stay with me. Yeah. I got a bonus room.

I do think we're going to have an apartment in a flop house? Yeah, near the office. What? So who's going to take ownership of that? I feel like somebody like Fasoli will just take ownership. No, no, no, no. He won't have the key. No, we should have done it. We talked about doing it when we moved to New York,

which would have made sense then. I thought about it. Why not just put beds in the new office? I don't want people sleeping in the new office. So we're not bringing Mantis back? No. Yeah, there'll be an apartment because Stu's going to come every week.

Francis Rohn, you're welcome to come stay in the new apartment. It'll be right by the office. You better get there early before it's covered in sperm. We're going to get a cleaning lady. We're cleaning man.

She's going to be covered in sperm. Are there cleaning men? Cleaning men? One of the early, Travis Turman was a cleaning man. What? The rough and rowdy champion. Cleaning man? He was a cleaning man.

But like a house or like? Hotel rooms. Oh. Really? Good. There's cleaning men. One that was about to get me canceled, Francis. Did you see that?

I saw that and I had one that I... For you. Good. For me. I said, Brandon doesn't call them cleaning men. He calls them illegals. Oh. Ah, yes.

That's what I was thinking. Close. Close to what I was going to say. I had a feeling. Every time you have a cleaning man, he just solves an equation on a chalkboard. That's what I was thinking. Close. Close to what I was going to say. I had a feeling. Every time you have a cleaning man, he just solves an equation on a chalkboard. That's true. He goes and sees about a girl. Yeah.

That's the issue with cleaning men. He can never hold on to them. Smart. Never have my equations up without being solved. They're all wildly underqualified. Overqualified. So handsome. Yeah, yeah.

Air was good. I saw air. Iqualified. So handsome. Yeah, yeah. Air was good. I saw Air. I didn't see Air. Everybody says it's good. Yeah. I like that in a movie. It is. Super Mario Brothers was good.

No kidding? People were mad about that, right? Yeah, hearing a lot of people say that. I took kids to see it. It satisfied my needs. I watched Midnight Run last night. Have you guys ever seen that movie? From the 80s?

From 1988. Yeah. Matt Damon was listing his four favorite movies, and he had Midnight Run on there. It was a good movie? It was pretty fucking good. I don't know why. It's kind of like Blues Brothers-y.

It's a comedy. Lots of chase scenes and shit like that. Where's it set? It's all over the United States. They're on the road. I guess that makes sense. Where's it set? It's all over the United States. They're on the road. I guess that makes sense. It's fantastic. Run.

I got to watch your sports movie podcast outside of just the clips that I see. It's a really good listen. Yeah, it really is. It's our third episode or fourth? I don't know. Field of Dreams came out today. And Clemmer's never seen Hardball?

Never seen Hardball. And he kept on claiming that he didn't see Hardball because it came out the week of 9-11 and let me let me ask y'all it was like yeah that's why i never saw it let me ask y'all what y'all do in this situation so we recorded last week major league and major league back to the minors and the file disappeared it got eight it we lost it lost it it forever. Yeah. So it's gone. Having a Francis is mean, girls. So we have to redo it. So when you redo something, because I know we've all probably had to redo something,

do you try to hit the notes that you hit the first time, or do you just free ball completely new? You have to do a completely different thing. Don't even worry about trying to hit the jokes. It used to happen in the old days with the rundown. Probably like once every couple months we'd fuck up and we would try to redo it and we'd just quit.

The whole time we'd be like, yeah, well we just taped it and I said this funny thing. But you can't make it funny again. Right. The first ten episodes of Anus were all scripted. That's crazy. We would write for like twenty minutes and we were like, that wasn't a good one, let's go again. Oh yeah, I remember we did an An I remember we did like 9-10 takes.

Jeez. Matthew McGorry episode. Matthew McGorry, long dead. In more ways than one. Long guy. It got better when you stopped scripting. Way better. The show was like 15 minutes. We had pages and we were just like, alright, let's read through it.

How long was that? An hour? And Owen was like, no, 15 minutes. And so, yeah. were just like, all right, let's read through it. And we were like, how long was that? An hour? And Owen was like, no, 15 minutes. And so, yeah. Yeah, you can't do that. No. Rowan, how was New Orleans? Oh, no, you came back on Monday. Were you here on Monday?

No, barely. Yeah, barely. It's for boy, dad. How was New Orleans? Fucking awesome. Saw you in the swamp. New Orleans is such a, it's maybe the best city in the United States. I don't count it as the United States.

It doesn't feel like the United States. That's what makes it so damn good. It's the one place you can go abroad in the United States. And there's so much going on literally around every corner. Other cities that are destination cities like Nashville or Austin will have marquee streets like Broadway or 6th Street. But they don't have the walkability that New Orleans does where literally you'll turn a corner and there's shit from the 1700s untouched. It's a fucking awesome city. Very cool.

Yeah. Boozing outside. Oh, yeah. Getting fucked up. Getting robbed. Taking dirty drugs. Doing morning shows. Doing morning shows. Doing morning shows.

Going to shit the invite for that yet? Not yet, no. Well, no, yeah, I did. I don't think I answered his text. Why? You're not going to go on Wake Up Mincy? It's crushing. I'm going to, eventually.

How have the numbers been? I don't know. Good? Yeah. Great. He's crushing it. Five in a row. He's doing it here next week.

Oh, yeah, we got the run next Wednesday. Run on Wednesday, draft fucking next week. Holy shit, I forgot about Mincy's run. It's about to be packed in here. Are we set up for that? No. DJ? The run?

Yeah. We're set up for the run? Yeah, we got shirts coming. It's like Ronald being excited. But where's he going to do it? Same park. Did I did mine? Yeah. We're set up for the run? Yeah, we got shirts coming. It's like Ronald being an example. But where is he going to do it? Same park. Did I did mine? Yeah.

So we'll run to the same issue. Yeah. He's going to do another... 10K under 59 minutes. You realize... So whatever allowed you to cheat the system a little bit will be available to him? He didn't cheat the system. Yes.

Five laps is a mile. I mean, that'll be a way that we see if he cheats the system a little bit will be available to him? He didn't cheat the system. Yes. Five laps is a mile. I mean, that'll be a way that we see if he cheats the system, if he, like, demolishes his time. I'm also willing to take 7.45 as an official time. I declared that, I think, last week. People want to give that to me. Bold of you and noble. There was, like, one guy who traced it,

and it was, like,.19 was a lap. So it would have kept like.19 was a lap. So it would have kept me.5 away from.05. So that's, you know, whatever. 15 seconds? With a tracker on and we'll wait until it hits 10K on the tracker. Yeah. You want him to wear a shaking computer?

Should I go out and pace him for the first mile? Yeah. Well, next Wednesday is also the popcorn race. Oh! We did 7.24. Yeah, but I'm willing to take 7.45. I'll do the actual math. What's the popcorn race? 0.19 was what they said.

The inside of the track, someone did the Google image, and it was 0.19. We all eat a movie-sized bag of popcorn, and the last one to finish has to have a second bag of popcorn. Oh, yes. Okay. All right. All right. Kate, you're not going to Le Bar Nardin? Le Bar Nardin?

I don't think you're going after how you said it, brother. Le Bar Nardin? Did you update everyone on the latest with it, the Donnie Does? Oh, yeah. So, everyone who watched yesterday, boys trip to Les Bernardins. Everyone but Kate. This is the wheel deciding this.

It wasn't us being misogynistic, but it worked out. It worked out that way. Like reset. And now we can actually. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She was still on the wheel when we reset. Yeah. We can.

True. We can. I was trying to get KB to stay behind. Thankfully, we can now at this lunch be men and talk about men stuff. Rightly. Because we really do hold back when Kate's around. Yeah. But Kate, while we're doing that, is going to go on a date with Frank in this studio for the Yak.

Yeah. And Dukes is the waiter. Corey Rutledge is going to produce. And Chef Donnie has agreed to create a five-course meal, but every single course has some form of hot dog in it. Oh. For Frank. Delightful.

He said he thinks he can do hot dog ice cream. Somebody suggested. Hot dog tartare. Someone suggested on Twitter that it should be eight courses, and then the episode could be called Frank and Kate Plus Eight. Oh, my God. It's an eight hot dog course. He can do it. He can do it.

Yeah, he said he's going to make us hot dog soup. You might have won this, Kate. Yeah, I think she did, too. A part of me believes that Donnie could make these things good. Not Lanny Binnard Henco. But also just really good content as well. No, yeah. You say it again.

Frank's so easy to talk to. You'll crush. It's just always good content as well. No, yeah. Well, Frank's so easy to talk to. Yeah, you'll crush. He's just always smooth combo. Yeah. Are you going to bring like a list of things? Chill. A list of things to talk about? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Kate's going to prepare. I'm going to script it like an anus episode. I'm going to give him a script. Actually, maybe I'll write us a date script and I'll do a scripted. A meet cute. Yeah, a meet cute. Actually, with Corey Rutledge, I feel like we could really make it a whole.

Yeah. I'm excited. Dangerous game trying to script Frank the Tank. I know. You script you. Don't script Frank. He can't be scripted. You keep coming back to the script.

At what point in the eight-course meal will you bring up the Mets? That's a very important decision. When things start to fall apart, if I'm running out of, and I'm getting too awkward, I'll just sit, and then I'll just let them go. Is that first course? Yeah, probably first course. You should have, like, break in case of emergency,

just Mets trivia that you can give them. Yeah. Just get them flowing. I got to get a list going, but I feel like this could actually be, I'm glad. I'm glad I'm glad It's looking good Hulk Hogan fucking pops his sweater off

So disappointing that we're wearing the same shirt now And you're just crushing it No that's not true It's a little true This is a smaller size It's a posture That's what it's supposed to look like We're actually It's a little true. It's a smaller size. It's a posture. That's what it's supposed to look like. That's all.

We're actually bigger size. Warm fittings. Did your shirt get bigger when he took his shirt off? Yeah. It's a defense mechanism. Throw my shirt. Your clothes grow. Throw my shirt around hunks. Oh, man.

Brandon, sorry you missed the case race. It was the best one yet. That's what I heard. Four hours and 38 minutes? We could have gone longer. Yeah, we could have. We could have done the 12. There were many times where I was trying to kick everyone out

just so I could play Celebrity Guest until I got it. And everyone was like, no, we're staying with you. Did y'all get it? No. No. It's been bothering me. It's impossible. Did you ever recreate that moment?

It's bothering me. We have to do it another time and then get it and then be done forever that could be a thing you do on the on the tank date just do that just sit there that's an easy thing you think that the case race

was better because we didn't have any guests or anything like that and our relationships with each other are already established, as opposed to adding someone different to the group? I think, yes, that, and I also do think doing slightly less beer, where people didn't cross,

they didn't cross the territory of, like, not being able to speak. Mm-hmm. Like Hank did. Yeah, close. Stephen did. But we had enough people still coherent able to speak. Like Hank did. Steven did. But we had enough people still coherent enough to participate. Where in past case races,

it feels like once we're done, half of the show just goes off a deep end. Yeah, something about having a guest that you want to feature the guest. Energy changes. Just a little bit of a change of energy. It's not a bad thing, but when you add alcohol to the mix,

it just, the dynamics just change. Was that the cowbell? It was the cowbell. He shut that cowbell up. Also the stinky cloud made it. Oh my God. The moment of you and me puking where we were just making each other puke by.

Yeah, that was so gross. It was so gross. I don't really even puke like that. My puke sound was so bad. You were puking volume. It sounded like someone who was drowning. If I was laying on my side, I would have gone the way of Jimi Hendrix.

My goodness, yeah. It's like a waterboarding. Oh, it's God. He's got his own vomit. He's talking about this pregnant. Love it. Are you at that point of pregnancy where this is like you. He's fixing it. Am I talking about this pregnant? Love it. Are you at that point of pregnancy where this is like you're sick?

Ah, yes. I thought that was the whole time. But if I got through stinky cloud, I can tell you that's mine. As someone, let me play the role of Sass real quick. As someone who just puked last week, I know what you're doing.

Actually, my puke was way worse than yours. It was. Honestly, it was. I puked on Saturday too. From what? I got a migraine. It was in the sun for a couple hours. It's not really a Jesus Christ kind of situation.

I mean, I could have died. I mean, the sun. Sun won. The sun just kicks your ass. Went to the Mississippi State spring game. Shouldn't have. And I was, I baked. Yeah.

If you die of a migraine, we'll lie about it in the obit. We won't tell everybody. I think everybody will know. No. No. Well, yeah, I do have other maladies that could cause it. Cholesterol. It was cholesterol that finally.

Cholesterol. Take a cholesterol pill. No. Heart attack. I do. You do. TB. Statin.

Statin, yeah. Do you need it? Or is it preemptive? You're just showing off. No, I have to take it. Hereditary high cholesterol. Is it a ginger thing? I don't think so.

I have hereditary high cholesterol too. They say that the statin is, at least cardiologists say that it is, one of the most impressive medical developments of the last 30 years. Does cardiologists say it? Maybe others do too but they haven't changed the technology of what it is i don't think since they came out with it 30 years it works so well statin statin we need to get that out in the island science has been getting its ass kicked recently i know what. They're amazed by it. The other one that people don't talk about that is so amazing is the drug PrEP. What's that?

AIDS? Yeah, the AIDS. It's a drug that a lot of people in the gay community take, but others too, where if you take it, you basically cannot contract AIDS. That's incredible. I'm not taking it. It's another one we got to talk about. Preventative cure for AIDS. That's incredible. Yeah. I'm not taking it. Another one we got to talk about. Preventative cure for AIDS.

And people, it didn't get, I don't know why we haven't like heralded it from the mountains or what I'm missing, but it's as if we came up with a cure for AIDS and nobody said anything. Huh. Wow. Yeah. We need to talk about that. Is it a pill? All my gay friends are on it and they're like, yeah.

I see a lot of billboards for it. It's safe. Really? On I-95. Is it an injection it a pill? All my gay friends are on it, and they're like, yeah. I see a lot of billboards for it. It's safe. Really? On I-95. Is it an injection or a pill? I'm not sure. And does the statin make you feel different? No, the one major side effect that a lot of people, some people get is ache.

Dick. No, no, that's my... Your dick doesn't work? No, that... Your dick problem? The dick problem was the hair loss medicine. Oh! And the joke I had was that I went on it,

and they said that, you know, there's only... All of a sudden, I was having a little bit of trouble. With erections? Yeah. I want that. You want less erections? No, I want to have... I mean, I come so fast, I want to have a chance. Oh, get on antidepressants, buddy.

You'll never come. I need that. I had to splint it in with my fingers. Yeah. I was splinting. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, you might, it might be harder to, give me that pill. Yeah. But that, ultimately, my doctor, after a bit, he was like, well, this only affects one percent of the people who take it.

And I was like, well, I guess that means there's a ninety nine percent chance I'm gay. What did that mean? But how does that make you feel different? Statin, the side effect of statin is muscle soreness, like severe muscle soreness and body pain and soreness. Forever or just on the side of it? I haven't I have not experienced it, so I think it affects some portion of the people who take it, but not many. But that is the issue.

I get all kinds of side effects. If there's one, I'll get it. Body reacts weird to stuff. Water medicine is wild. Took a quarter of a melatonin gummy and it might as well have been fentanyl to me. Narcan shot. I was freaking out.

I give my kids melatonin sometimes. The older one. What? I do too. Yeah. Is he still waking up at like four in the morning? He's a sleepwalker. Yeah. So I gave him sleepwalking which sucks. Oh you do it too? Oh yeah. I've always been a sleepwalker.

It would be cute if it wasn't sad but he'll just wake up just do circles in his room and then go back to bed was it your kid that got had like 12 melatonin gummies yeah my seven-year-old uh was just under the table just he had poured them out and i i called the poison relief line, and they said, melatonin actually doesn't do anything. Melatonin's fine. It's a placebo. Yeah, there's really nothing to it. So he had the whole bottle of gummies, 10 milligram gummies.

He was fine. I mean, he slept good. Yeah. Melatonin gummies are what's giving the fucking PrEP pills a bad name. Yeah. Pills like that that don't do shit. And then it's like, well, probably nothing does anything. Statins probably don't do shit.

Yeah, but melatonin, it feels like it's just a billion dollar industry now. Everybody takes melatonin, but it doesn't really. Is Unison the same? I don't know. I think Unison. I think Unisom. I think it's a little more oomph to it. I remember when CBD, like a couple years ago, and I remember stopping at a coffee shop on the way to work

and being like, I'm going to get a CBD-infused coffee. I hope I'm not too fucked up for radio. I thought it was going to like. Yeah, it does nothing. It did nothing. It did. CBOS. I had no idea.

You gave me a CBD thing one time, and I just remember thinking I'm going to sleep good tonight. And then at 3 a.m., I was playing Madden and coming up with all kinds of new strategies. That wasn't CBD. What was it? Acid. Makes sense. No, I've given you weed gummies, but you, like, throw them in the trash.

My wife, same thing. My wife gave me. What? My wife made me throw them away. She wouldn't let me have them in the house. That's probably smart. Again, I just told you the kid. Yeah, yeah.

Those wouldn't actually fuck your kid up. We can't have anything in the house. Yeah. I got a question about sleepwalking. How do sleepwalkers see where they're going? So I have never been too dangerous. I've never like left my house. Usually what happens to me is i'll get up i'll be angry about something or i'll be like very just like it's a it's like a state of confusion

where i'm sort of like i know that i'm confused and angry that i'm confused but i can't figure out why and i'll like either walk out of the room and then come back but I don't go far your eyes open I think so you're having conversation my eyes must be open yeah because you're walking out of the room then I'll wake up and I'll have a very vague like it won't I won't know what happened but I'll have like a something happened like something definitely happened I've been I haven't for a while but you like it's it's it's as frustrating as frustrating could be because it's like like you'll think something's happening and you'll be like trying to solve a problem but you'll be asleep so you'd be like oh like why is that there

and it's like my wife would be like what are you talking about how can you beat it you just just don't just tell you to go back to sleep and you fall back asleep and you wake up and i don't i don't know. Me, personally, it happens when I'm very overtired. So just getting enough sleep that it doesn't happen. But yeah, it will happen if I'm completely run down, and I'll just lose my mind. Yeah, my son has the same thing. Sucks for him.

Lucky guy. Yeah. That guy, comedian Mike Birbiglialia had it in a in a way that was almost like life-threatening that remember white socks dave when he slept walk like in the streets of new york he was just drunk wasn't there a theory that he was just very drunk oh he might have been very drunk but what was the micro because there are like walk out he would walk out like third floor windows he would he would burst through the glass of a window and in the bushes and wake

up and be like what the fuck happened and so he had to start sleeping with in a sleeping bag that would be zipped all the way up to his chin and then wear mittens over his hands so that he couldn't unzip himself out of the fire slept like that That's crazy. I'm lucky that I never. Never. Yeah, I've never. I've gone downstairs before. Mighty Mouse. But I've never.

I've never gone outside. A lot of times it's just like I'll like move something in my room. I'll get up, move something and then go back to bed. I would think that it's from you just like being tired and like having to get up every day and having to get up every day, but if you're past it down hereditary. I think it must. I don't know if it's a hereditary thing, but it's crazy because we looked it up,

and it is sleepwalking does show up right around the fourth birthday. And it's almost clockwork. It's two hours after he goes to bed sucks for him he's gonna have to figure it out son's four already get him the sleeping bag in the mittens yeah yeah there is a little kid i saw there was i was looking online there's like a it's like a sheet that you like zip them up they're like attached to the bed i don't think i'm gonna do that until he does something real crazy yeah i didn't get my sheet till i was like five nice i'm fist bumping the joke not the idea of it oh no i'll never be barstool beast with that

attitude i've seen that oh you don't know about barstool beast barstool beast you guys seen that? That was Barstool Beast. You don't know about Barstool Beast? It's Barstool Beast. You guys won't be Barstool Beast either. Yeah, this email we got. We have an employee of the month, four people. What the fuck? Good Lord. What? Wait, is this real? All right, hold on a second.

Brandon, do the NASCAR read. I got it. 500 bucks. We got to. This is. Do the NASCAR read. Well, as soon as I find it. I know this weekend NASCAR's in Talladega, 3 p.m. Eastern on Fox.

NASCAR is at the Geico 500, I believe. I don't have a read. But NASCAR is in Talladega this weekend. Talladega is a super speedway, and it is among the best tracks in NASCAR. 3 p.m. Eastern. 3 p.m. Eastern on Fox. I've already nailed it, and I didn't even need the damn read. Chase Elliott's second race back.

They're going to have a street race in Chicago on July 2nd. I bet yesterday. Are you going to be moved in by then? I think so. June 19th is my closing day, so I'll be able to go to the street race. You've got to get to that street race. There's a lot of Barstool people going to this race. I know Spider, Alex Bennett, Mean Girls. You've been to Talladega,

haven't you? It was the most fun. I say if you have like a bachelor or bachelorette party you want to do it like that's the one you have to go to you know daytona is their super bowl but i would say as far as tracks and environments go talladega is probably the best in nascar you know bristol's good but talladega is probably the very best in all of nascar this this sunday april 23rd 3 p.m eastern on on Fox. Check them out. So much fun. Nick's about to collect Barstool Beast jackets like rough and round. No, wait. All right, so now I needed a second because-

You're going to wear them all at once. I didn't want to overreact, but let me now overreact. You're going to overreact to Barstool Beast? All right, so this is an email we got? I think so. Okay. We just had like a big meeting, and this was part of the meeting. Okay.

I think Roe Riggs tweeted this out. It was a meeting? Yeah. All right. So for people who are listening on the podcast, it's a jacket, and it says recognition on the top, Barstool Beast recognition program. Each month, Barstool Beast will recognize four Barstool employees who have truly delivered above and beyond from different areas of the business.

Any employee can nominate someone who they felt has truly raised the bar and over-delivered via Google Form and provide the details as to why the person should be recognized. Winners will be vetted by department heads, the people, team, and executive leadership before announcing. In addition to bragging rights, each winner will receive custom Barstool Beast jacket, $500. I love this. What the fuck?

I like this. I'm not going to lie. I want that coat, and I want that $500. I'm competing against you. What do you think about the logo? I think it looks like Big Black's logo. Satanic. It's satanic.

You guys like this? I think it's employee of the month with a sizable amount of money on the side. It's not a bad incentive. I like the 500 bucks. I wish the jacket was a little lighter and more- All right, Francis. I would wear it- Maybe I'm-

200 bucks to nominate you. 200 bucks to nominate you. I believe the Riggs tweet with this was, are you fucking kidding? If I win, I have to give you $200? If you win, 40% of the winnings if I nominate you. Yeah, sure. But I'd have to win. Yeah, only if you win.

Yeah, 100. I'm going to write you a glowing endorsement. I will happily. Dude, 300 bucks and a cool hoodie? Hell yeah. Yeah. What's wrong with that? I wish I were in a position to think this wasn't cool.

Nick, 200 bucks if I nominate you. This is insane. Win. $100. Am I? Done. Am I on an island? No, I'm with you.

What's wrong with it? If you're wearing that out, somebody's like, where'd you get that hoodie? Oh, uh. It's not even a hoodie. It's like a fucking Dickies jacket. It's like a Dickies jacket. It's the same Dickies jacket out there, but it doesn't have my last name on it, and it certainly doesn't say Barstool Beast.

That's earned. I can't tell if you guys are doing this as a bit right now not at all i'm not i am i would like okay thank you for my sanity's sake that is these are the moments that like if i could have a time machine and i went back 10 years i was like dave what do you think about doing a jacket for the best blogger a month and how quickly he would laugh at me and kick me out? What is this company? Having me to work harder. Here's the thing. Is it?

This is it. We don't get feedback, right? I have no idea if I'm on the verge of being let go or raised. Shut the fuck up. Oh, no. Hold on. He already has been let go once you know right now i don't know how it's going do you know what the feedback is you think that

that hoodie would be a layer of armor against that oh they can't fire me i got a coat i got the just my own insecurity don't fire the beast yeah You don't fire the beast. Yeah. You know what? What numbers numbers are feedback. I know. And my numbers haven't been. I've been disappointed. You just want other feedback. Well, I think the beast.

I think if you had the beast jacket in July of 2019, it never happens. Everybody watches the. I do agree with that. Everybody. Beast does have an air of untouchability. Yeah. Like that is. you're right on that part. Yeah. Fuck it.

I'll retweet the Beast. No, you can't go that quickly. The Beast gets it back. Well, if everyone's going to be in on it, I'm going to try to fucking win the Beast. Yeah. I want the Beast. Yeah. I kind of want the Beast.

Fuck it. There you go. My inner competitor will come out and be like, I'm going to Beast this week. Who is not, someone has to nominate you. It's going to matter. It's going to matter. It's going to matter. If you start vying for the beast, then it matters. Let's all nominate each other for the beast.

This is a fucking stable of the most egotistical humans on the planet. Yes, yes. No one's fucking nominating anybody else. What are you talking about? You promised me. For money. Fine. Wait, wait, wait.

I don't care. Why don't we ballot stuff for someone? Right. One month. That would be a lot better. Then we'll all just wind up putting ourselves. No, no, no.'t we ballot stuff for someone? Right, one month in a row. That would be a lot better. Yeah, but then we'll all just wind up putting ourselves. No, no, no. Let's ballot stuff.

No, we should, every month, the Yaks should come up with somebody to nominate, right? Yeah. And we should have some sort of. All right, so the wheel decides. I want a jacket ceremony. I want to see Tico, Texas go 12 months in a row with this thing. I don't think so. No, but it's going to be 12 jackets.

12 jackets. And it's always the same jacket. Spin it. Who's going to be the jackets. 12 jackets. And it's always the same jacket. Spin it. Who's going to be the first? Who's our beast? Who's our champion? I want it. I want it.

Nominates. Big fucking wheel. It's almost me. Quigs. Quigs. All right. Quigs is getting our beast. Congratulations, beast.

Congratulations, Quigs. If you don't win, it's rigged. No, there's four, though. Yeah, but we're going to balance stuff. We're going to put all of our weight behind Quigs. What are the four departments? Yeah, right? Do we have four departments?

HR. You know way more about this company than me. What are the four departments? HR is a whole department? No, is it? There's like 15 HR people now. What? There's definitely more than four departments.

We had a party. We had a golf party upstairs. All right. So it's probably someone got hired to do this program. That's what the little golf party was. I think there's somebody who's like, make sure you get up. I also think this is one of those things that if they kept it just to the third floor, it's good. Because there is like, the third floor is a real office. You know what I mean?

People come in. They do a great job. from nine to five or you know longer than that but this world down here you had to know we were going to mock the beast right hit mock the beast rick's already mocked the beast you guys don't understand the beast i think the beast is going to come around i think people the beast is going to grow on people i want to win the beast is going to come around. I think the beast is going to grow in people. I want to win the beast now. If you guys are taking it serious, I'm taking it serious. I want Riggs to win it after all his mockery. And he'd be forced to wear it. We'll parade him around.

We call this God's Dale Heat. Why not just Employee of the Month? Have a plaque up. It would be funnier to have a plaque up like a fast food restaurant but I think there should also be the bigger motivator for me would be shame I think if there was like a barstool loser

or a wall of whoever wins the jacket is that person going to wear the jacket every day that month? they have to the thing is is it going to have the month on it let's say Francis if you win the Beast in July, and then I win the Beast in August, I'm not letting

you wear the jacket. You're not wearing your jacket. Oh, it can be like the Stanley Cup. We're passing it along? That's a good idea. Although, it would be tough, because there are some morbidly obese people here. Yeah. It would not fit. That would fit me like a sarcophagus. Yeah. No. Brandon, I don't know that would fit me like a sarcophagus. Yeah.

No. Brandon, you know, I don't know that you and I could wear the same beast. Because you eat Chick-fil-A every day. We got an email about this? I think it was like, was it a meeting? I just saw the Riggs tweet. I had the notis on. Yeah, it was in a meeting. I think Frank should win as well.

DJ, what happened in this meeting? I was introducing some new C-suite people and talking about quarter one recap, and then this was the end of the meeting. How are we doing? Beast. Really good. Oh, great. Good.

I have a confession. When my phone broke two weeks ago, I forgot my password for my Barstool email, and I just haven't logged in. You're fine. I've only missed two meetings. There's a new thing. A one't logged in. You're fine. I've only missed two meetings. Wait, there's a new thing. There's a new thing. A one login?

One login is a thing. Yeah, I missed two meetings. They were like, why didn't you come? I was like, well, because I didn't log in. I think I might just live without it. You won't ever get a beast jacket. I'll tell you that. I'm logging back in.

Okay. I don't know if I missed all of this because I just came in at a weird time of the year, but a lot of these HR and people department things I've learned after the fact. We have some incredible incentives and things available to us that no one ever told me about. Like what? Like 401k matching. And, you know, paternity leave. And paternity leave?

Oh, yeah. How much? I think it's like GBT for two years. I think it's like eight weeks. Substantial. Pretty good. I'm going to go knock some bitch up. I didn't take a day.

Yeah, I already did. Imagine Nick Cannon's paternity leave from Wildin' Out. Chilling. Just off all year. Didn't he offer to date Taylor Swift? Do you know about the Uber Eats credit? Oh, yeah. Oh, buddy.

You don't know about this? This is awesome. I have never logged into anything. We have $80 a month of Uber Eats. $80 a month. And I just save it for one big dinner and go nuts. End of the month. End of the month.

You guys got to understand something. Probably 50% of the reason why I would never leave this company is I've been grandfathered into everything where I've never logged into anything, and I have a company card that no one's ever asked me any questions about ever. I'll never give that up. You already get Uber Eats. I get whatever I want. Do you get the points from that card?

No, I don't think so. Oh, really? But actually, maybe, because I've never logged in. Oh, you should see. I bet it's a lot. I don't log into things. It's an Amex Dave has those, bitch. Why would anybody ever want to leave?

Ever. Ever. No reason. Daycare credits. Sometimes you get credits. Really? And gym. Money for the gym. Yeah? Well, you have to go 90 days. I didn get time. Really? And gym. Money for the gym. Yeah.

Well, you have to go 90 days. I didn't. Enough is enough for everybody. Everybody's got limits. Imagine being like all these things. Uber Eats, 401K, daycare, all this stuff. One going to quit. One tweet.

One going to quit. Have you seen the mother's room upstairs? That is a nice room. I meant to ask you. You're going to have to put a pump room in Chicago. What are you talking about? Oh, there's a mother's room upstairs for lactating. The pumping room is called the Yak Studio.

It has cream. Nobody wants that. I might have all 15 HR guys. Everyone. He said what? You could ring the cowbell every time we're going to milk you. Well, we'll have a segment on the yak. Yeah.

We'll sell it. Yeah, we'll spin to see who gets the milk. Mixing it with a Busker's whiskey. Maybe right to sleep. I need someone to sit me down And give me like orientation for this I know there are some treats here This place has treasures but you gotta find out about them

Yeah how many people There must be like When they unroll or Roll out all these different treats And they're like well 50% of the company won't ever do this So we can afford this I think that's what a lot of companies bank on And I think that's what a lot of companies bank on.

And I think that's what a lot of credit card companies bank on is that you're not going to actually take advantage of a lot of the offers and benefits. That's how they make money. Paperwork sucks. Whenever I have a month where I don't feel like I did my best, I never fill out my reimbursements for stuff. I'm like, no, I need to pay for this myself.

What's the reimbursement situation? The whole concur thing. The reimbursement situation just the whole concur reimburse yeah like concur stuff you can't do uh you can't you could do like one drink at dinner now that's what's the big change people you could just go get booze wait what do you if you a content trip and you have expenses like you know uploaded somewhere yeah you take pictures of receipts if you have a company card i'm assuming that i think you're in a sort of special silo of your own where you all this everything you do is covered by the company i've never i've never just pretty sick it used to be just we would literally hank once i think wrote on like the back of a napkin like a bunch of numbers so it's like dave dave was like what do you want me to do

with this do you have any receipts? He's like, no. Fuck, I need orientation. It's cool. I'm happy that Barstool's doing this shit. If you're working, if you're in the office after sick, you can reimburse food that you get sent to the office. Is that right? I think so.

That's a lot of companies do that. What's all those hours? Those are Viva hours. Viva. Oh. Yeah, I have to do a, I can't remember what it came up the other day, but I have to... I would imagine there's like...

10 people who probably have my card on their Uber. Wow. I have a fleet. Probably not great. Do you have it, TJ? On Uber Eats, but I don't use it. I once had a co-worker's card on my Uber. I have no idea where, like... I'm sure if they look at the expense report,

like, there would probably be days where there's, like, on travel days when we all, like, land somewhere and have to go home, like, 10 Ubers. Well, I'd like to have a tangle with someone, someone come up. Maybe, TJ, can you set that up? Just like it doesn't even have to be real. An orientation? No, no, no.

Someone come down from the third floor and be like, hey, you can't be charging this. What if you fuck around and get somebody that's going to be the beast that month? They're not going to take your shit. It's true. If they're the beast. There should be one sort of benefit to having the beast jacket. I don't know what it would be.

Like you get some sort of special dispensation. Oh, you know what would actually – see, this is why they got to include us. I would think it would be a great reward if they had the Beast jacket and only Beast jackets could use the solo bathroom. Yes. Now that's an incentive people would get behind give them a key to a solo bathroom yeah you don't even have to give a jacket yeah no that would just a key card i'm gonna talk to them upstairs and see if we can get or they get or they get a first pick of bagel monday or first run at the snack closet when it's had a restock.

Yep. Things like that. Bagel Monday gets, I never, I always get the very end of Bagel Monday. I get the sesame seeds. I get the warm. Those are the worst bagels? No, I just get the seeds. You got to get here early for the cream cheese.

We do Bagel Friday. Oh, the cream cheese. Bagel Friday is not as competitive as Bagel Monday. No, there's usually a lot of leftovers. You could take home a big bag of bagels. I do wonder how they ended up on Bagel Monday and Bagel Friday. It was a debate on the rundown. Why not just do every day?

It was a debate on the rundown. When we moved to New York, Dave was talking about how it's going to be all hunky-dory. He was like, I'm going to get bagels for everyone. Kevin and I were like, we're never going to eat your fucking bagels fuck you just you know classic rundown stuff i'm sure kfc will cut that out of the rundown if they keep it in i don't know why it got cut out because we talked about it yeah i think it was because it was we might have i might have misunderstood because we did kevin was not on so y'all were just talking no it ended yeah right so it might have just ended recording.

Oh, okay. It's like I stood up and was walking out when Dave was like, hey, did you hear about Brandon trying to quit? Yeah. It was basically everything we said on the act, so it's not. This box is merch and not sausage. Give me that hat. I want to look.

Those hats are pretty. It was three boxes of merch. But it does smell like sausage. Empty it out. There has to be some sausage in there. Oh, hell yeah. I want the sausage to be one long, like 15 foot. Oh, like when they suck it up.

Yep. Yeah. Yep. I want it to be one real long sausage. Always wanted that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's a great.

Country pleasing. Does anyone ever give you shit about expenses? Come on now. One time, and then. Yeah, this hat smells like sausage. Come on. Hell yeah. Sure. They kind of sent me, they're Yeah, this hat smells like sausage. Hell yeah. They, like, kind of sent me, like, they're like, this is all the expenses.

But then it's like, I welcomed another meeting because it was like, I was traveling my dick off. You were going to take them to arbitration? I was going to be like, which expense do you take umbrage with? And, like, every one of them, like, is, like, me having to travel for work. Right. I'm not, like, a steakhouse, like like a steakhouse fucking go crazy type of guy. Right. I think every dinner, oh, my God, he smells like meat.

What were you going to say, Chad? I don't know if I want it on my head right now. Hey, what were you going to say? Hey, mossy oak, that started in your hometown. Say what's not appropriate. That and hoss. Outdoor. Is it the same thing? No, hay's outdoors. Okay. What were you going to say? I did my research. Say what's not appropriate. That and Haas Outdoor. Is it the same thing? It's Haas Outdoors.

Okay. What were you going to say? I did my research. A really long time ago, there was an employee that worked here that submitted his expenses, months of expenses, very late at night. And the person that was in control of approving denied them all. It was a lot of money. So there was an email saying that the employee that submitted the expense would fight the other.

I forgot this. It came to a head, and they had to be separated on the second floor. Oh, my God, dude. It was hilarious. I mean, based on everything you just said, I already feel like I know who the... Resnick is one of them. Lewis. That's the guy you hated. It has to be Lewis.

That's hilarious. You fucking hate him? No, Che hates him. Whose side were you on in that rumble? Lewis. Not a company man, huh? I need orientation. Actually, you know what?

I don't want orientation. I don't want to. I don't want that. They have these every month, the Lunch and Learns. That's what these things are. That's what it is? Lunch and Learn, yeah. It's like you're meeting a new department, and they're telling you what they do.

I think the people group had a thing last month, and they were telling us about all these benefits. Like, that's what it is. So you go to these? No, but... It sounds like you went to one. Do you go to these, Francis? I have gone to one. I actually accidentally was seated in one.

A lunch and learn? Couldn't leave. You went to go get free lunch? Yeah, I went to get the lunch. I always get the free lunch, and then I... I sat down, and I was in that big meeting room up there. And then it was broadcast to the whole company. So I felt. How many people go to these?

I think a lot. They usually have some pretty good food. Always good. I think people on this floor just go to get the food. But it's really they order food so you can go get it and then attend a meeting. It's a trap food. Bait food. Oh, yeah, it's bait food.

Yeah, bait. It's quite literally bait. I'm surprised as a fatter shark, I've never gotten, I've never taken the bait. It does sound like something I would do. All the food's upstairs, though. You have to go upstairs. Upstairs.

But that is, I don't know why I've never, like, moseyed on the food's upstairs, though. You have to go upstairs. Upstairs. But that is, I don't know why I've never, like, moseyed on up to get to the bait. But they need to drop the food downstairs like a fishing line. But then we can all scurry back to our,

we need to go into the trap. Right, but if they just dropped it downstairs and we followed it up. Can we just have a, like, alliance in here that if anyone gets caught by the bait,

they let everyone know? I think we should just, can they just come in here and just tell us on the show what we, you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Like if you get baited, like send me a text and be like, hey, just so you know, there's a hook on the end of that food upstairs. Oh, I thought you wanted to know what the benefits were. No, no, I don't want to be baited.

You can go get the food and not have anything to do with the rest of it. Oh. I feel like we should sign up to tell the rest of the company what the act does. Everyone's got their lunch. We tell them what a stinky cloud is. Oh, yeah. So every department has those, like the putt-putt one, the goats upstairs. Goats were awesome.

I forget whose department that was. The most recent one was the putt-putt course. People liked the putt-putt. Everyone ripped it. There was a putt-putt course upstairs. Remember, that was the party that Fights was like, what the fuck is this? There was a bunch of goats upstairs, too.

Little baby goats. Remember the goats? The goats were awesome. Quietly. I don't know. There were two goats. It says something. This place has quietly become a phenomenal place.

I'm happy about that. It really is. It's content's turn. It's the content department that's hosting the next one of those. Is it? Me and Tommy are hosting. That is something you would do. Is that true?

What are you teaching? You got you, you. Someone walked up and was like, Nick, we need you to host a luncheon. I was just about to ask if I could host it. Yeah. You probably get to pick the food. I pick the theme and the food. What did you pick?

I can't tell you. It's all surprise. I'm doing a video. Is it West African? The food. What did you pick? I can't tell you. It's all a surprise. I'm doing a video. Is it West African? The food? It is now. Peanut butter and fish. I asked if we could do it remote.

And they said no? They said no. I'm happy that this is a good place to work. It's really good. Shocked. The benefits, everything. It became almost like a tech company. One of those places. that this is a good place to work it's really good shocked the benefits everything it just it became almost like a tech company one of those places when i so before before i worked here in that interim period i used to go to spotify headquarters sometimes to record podcasts

and they were it's in it's in the freedom tower and it's on like the 100th floor, and you ride up one of these glistening light speed elevators. There's no buttons. They just press where you're going, and you go, and you get out, and it opens up, and it's a gigantic panorama all the way around of the Hudson River, the East River, Lower Manhattan, Statue of Liberty. And then they have a snack area that might as well be a bomb shelter for post-apocalyptic storage people. It has everything you could ever want. For free?

Yeah. There's no charges for anything. And then they have a full-blown coffee shop. Really? It's free with a full-blown coffee shop. Really? It's free with a full-blown barista, everything in there that you can go get your coffees at. Spotify also does a wellness week where they don't let anyone release podcasts. Jeez.

Oh, wow. And that's a good model to follow. One-week vacation. Don't lay anybody off. They're always sound. It always goes well. I'm glad this is happening. All of this is to say that we are adding things like that that are really

nice. It's cool. He's trying to be the beast so goddamn bad. He's trying to be the beast so bad. His campaign has begun. Go not work here for three years and you will see how nice it is. They won't let us. Yeah.

I should log in sometime. three years and you will see how nice it is. They won't let us. Yeah. I should log in sometime. Zenefits? Is that what it's called? Not anymore. Zenefits is... Yeah, you can... You know who's super helpful

with all that shit? Enrique. Enrique. He'll help you. He'll lead you or like redirect. Do I want to know though? Tell me the honest truth. Do I want to know? He makes it the honest truth. Do I want to know?

He makes it so easy that if you need to know tax stuff, like log into this or that, like he'll just be like, pfft. You want to do some charity shit, pfft. Did he do it for you? Yeah, I did everything I needed. Yeah, Enrique's the man. Yeah, he's the best. They'll mail your stuff here too.

If you have stuff you need to mail out in a package, you just bring it here and they send it. What? I didn't know that. Your returns. I've been doing all my run-through runway from here. Yeah. Send it all back.

Huh? Run-through runway. You do a lot of run-through runway? No, I think that's women, I think. I think it's just women. Yeah. Is it for the fellas? I don't know.

They might. That was Tom's store on Parks and Rec, right? Yeah. Rent a swag? I didn't make that up. No, no, no. I'm starting to realize, too, there's a good chance my wife knows all about all this stuff, and she has my passwords.

Because when you say tax stuff, how did I get that? Right. Someone must have gotten that. Must have got it somehow. Do you taxes? You about to. I think. Okay.

Tax day happened. I do the extension every year. Gotta do the extension. Gotta do the extension. Crazy not to do the extension. I had a decent opportunity to write off my honeymoon. What? I was trying.

And you didn't? The guy was like, look. You should have asked me for the card. I was giving you the card. Let me tell you. Let me present why there was an opportunity. One, I wrote blogs about it. Two, I talked about it thoroughly on our podcast.

And three, I developed a ton of stand-up material out of it. That's my work. So you didn't do it? No, he was like, did you go on the honeymoon for work? Ah, that's a tough question. No. And he's like, all right, well, then we can't. Well, can you just repurpose your...

You know what I mean? Like, can you just be like, the next trip I'm going on, I'm going to do this. I'm going to take my wife, but I'm really going to, like, write a couple blogs and really work on some stand-up stuff. Think in theory. It all just comes down to, are you willing to lock horns with the IRS if they were to audit you? How strong would your case be? Do you feel like you could look them in the eye

and win in court or whatever? I don't know if it even goes to court. Yeah, they just fucking decide over there. They're just like, no, you actually do owe this, so shut the fuck up. It's kind of like that big dog shirt. The IRS, theirs. Theirs.

Take the space away. Brandon, there's nothing in there that's perishable right now? Just give me some of that dry rub, man. It's all frozen. It's frozen solid. Toss me a dry rub, man. Oh, it does smell. I'm taking the dry rub.

Yeah, it smells real meaty. I'll just open it. I'll give it back to you. I just want a little. Red's frozen solid. Toss me a dry rub, man. Oh, it does smell. I'm taking the dry rub. Yeah, it smells real meaty. I'll just open it. I'll give it back to you. I just want a little. Red wine steak seasoning. Pork. I just want a little lick of it. Is that a rub?

That's a rub, right? I just want a little lick of the rub. Rub is the best. Do you want to smell the sauce? Kind of. I'll get the sauce. I like going to a barbecue place, and before your food gets there, you put all the sauces on like a paper towel.

The hat smells like sausage. Oh, yeah. That's a good move. You know what I mean? That hat might be gets there, you put all the sauces on like a paper towel and you try it. The hat smells like sausage. Oh yeah, that's a good move. You know what I mean? That hat might be made from pig. Fry all the sausage.

Oh, I want that blue hat. Which one? Yeah. Which one? The rope. Yeah. Yeah,

the rope. That's a come up. Throwing ropes. Uh, Rowan, you want to hit that high noon ad? Of course I do,

brother. High noon. Nice hat. You know what? I don't even need the rest of the copy. High Noon. Vodka seltzer. Real juice.

Real vodka. No malt. And man, is it delicious. It's getting hotter outside. That means that you need to treat yourself to a little bit of outside time. And outside time, to me, is synonymous with high noon time. And of course you can get a regular size can, but why not give yourself a shot at those big cans? I'm talking about the 700 milliliter ones. I prefer to get the pineapple in that one. I get the pineapple

in the small size too, but I don't discriminate because there's so many dang flavors of this high noon. I'm talking about black cherry, watermelon, pomegranate, kiwi, the tailgate pack. We had the pool pack that we ordered off of Drizzly down in New Orleans. They bring it right to your door, and you're enjoying. It's cold. It's the dead of summer. It's so dang enjoyable to have a little bit of high noon by your side. And you can get yours at, you know, Drizzly.

You can get it at High Noon's website website or you can go to your local liquor store if you're in a state that has liquor stores why not go to a local liquor store and get some high noon for you and your friends today that was a great read is it over okay what states don't have liquor stores i think? I think New York doesn't have like a – or maybe I was thinking of state stores. But you know how Pennsylvania and New Jersey have very specific laws on where you can buy beer on Sunday. Utah, you can't buy booze on Sundays. In Ohio, Brandon, you have something on the end of your nose. Don't know what it is. It's barbecue sauce.

In Madison, maybe all of Wisconsin, I think the last time you could buy booze is like 9 p.m., which sucks. You can't buy liquor in grocery stores in Ohio. See, there's like an attached liquor store. Is that PA as well? Yes. In PA, you can buy... I remember I went to a liquor store in the grocery store,

and I was buying a bunch of stuff for a party but they would only let you buy so much at a time and she was like, so long as you go 100 feet away and around that pillar over there and come back, you can get back in line and buy more. So I kept having to buy a certain amount, go around the pillar, come back around. Other people doing it?

Yeah. Is this your sign for going to the grocery store? That's a buggy. Those laws make no sense. No. In Iceland, in Reykjavik, they have... Just quick. It's a good story about PA and...

You know what? You're right. Go ahead. I changed my mind. Oh, that seat... No, listen. That seat is allowed to one-up stories. Yeah, that is that seat. No, listen. That seat is allowed to one-up stories. Yeah, that is the seat.

Well, also, he's going to Iceland soon. Yeah. Wait, so tell me. I actually am curious about Iceland's laws. I'm sorry? Yeah. What was that? Go ahead.

Oh, you had a question. No, I said you're one-upping us on his behalf now. I don't think I was trying to one-up anyone. I was tagging. Yeah. Piggybacking. Tagging back in i want to hear the islam law basically in the summer i went by myself once on a soul searching mission

and it you experienced find it a little bit uh yeah we finished that and then i want to hear the soul searching uh so here both yes well we'll see if my story one-ups my story. Oh. But the midnight sun. Spy versus spy. It never gets dark fully. Sounds great. Even at like 2 or 3 in the morning, the sun has set below the horizon, but it's still nice and glowy. So it's surreal. And people come into the city of Reykjavik, which is where like 85, 90%

of the entire country's population lives. And a lot of young people come into the city for the weekend, stay at friends' apartments. They go out Friday night and then they stay up all night partying. And then on Saturday, they'll just go to the beach straight from the party and kind of like doze on the beach and booze.

And then they go out again Saturday night. And then on Sunday, they finally go home and sleep for like a day and a half. And they just don't sleep. That's awesome. And it's because of cocaine, but yeah. And the midnight sun situation. Right. But liquor stores stop selling booze at, I don't know, like 10 p.m.,

and they know these services that know that young people are going to need booze because at like 5 a.m., 4 a.m., the bars and the nightclubs close, but the streets, you can drink out in the streets. Open bottle policy. That's incredible. And so what people do is when last call hits, you do like, I'll take a round of 20 beers from the bar,

and you just walk out into the streets with them. And then there are these cars that are driving by that have gone to the liquor stores before they've closed and purchased gigantic crates of like vodka and fruit juice and stuff like that. And they'll be like, hey, you want to buy a thing? And you get like you buy a handle and you buy some juice and then people come gather around you and you create a little hangout on the street and dance on the streets and stuff. Sounds like the coolest party ever. It was fun. It was cool. Fuck.

Orleans, I mean, you can drink on the street. You feel like you're doing something illegal, but it just rules. Because there's that moment when you're like, especially in a bar hopping city where you're like, okay, let's finish these drinks and go to the next spot. And you're like, we don't have to finish these drinks to go to the next spot. We'll take these drinks to the next spot. Also, ordering, like in New Orleans, and I'm sure it's similar

in Iceland, like you finish your drink and you're like, alright, yeah, well you order a drink for walking. Yeah. That's the best. Well, I don't have to stop drinking. Big styrofoam cup with a... Yeah. I don't know. Do drinking big styrofoam cup with a yeah i don't know they call them roadies yes yeah roadie makes sense that's all i thought it was a roadie okay so can you

one-up that story yes oh not really searched i mean i i was uh this was probably in 2013 or 14 i had just dropped out of fordham law school that's right you are a fordham dropout everyone should remember that. Trump's all Harvard accomplishments. Was this your first experience with failure? It's embarrassing. It's hard for me to frame that as a failure because it was a decision frame for you made based on what I thought I would prefer to do.

I have a question for you, Francis. Off of this, you could continue your story would you if if you were 18 years old right now do you think you would have been one of those kids that made ivy league day tiktok what is that yeah it's like just kids like a list of the ivies whether they got accepted or not and they do it like live i wouldn't have okay it pissed me off there was one kid who was like the hottest dude ever he got into every ivy i was like fuck you know all the comments were like chicks being like do you want a wife and i was like fuck this kid was he a white kid yeah that's impressive yeah

yeah he's tan wow look like he's from like la orA. or something. All of them, yeah. All right, so keep going. So you found your soul. Well, I didn't know what I wanted to do, and I was tutoring a lot, and that was going pretty well, but that didn't seem like a lifelong thing. And so I decided to go to Iceland by myself, and I went over there just to spend four days alone, hiking and going in the hot springs and all kind of stuff and meet some people. And while I was over there, I started writing these very long email recaps to like 15 to 20 of my closest friends.

And those served as the basis for sort of the tone that I developed as a blogger. That's awesome. That's really cool, yeah. That was that kind of writing that... You did find your soul. ...led me to think that maybe I could... Yeah. ...try to write at Barstool someday.

Traveling, I... Yeah, Brandon. Doesn't that mean that he didn't like the story? He liked the story. Traveling alone, I've never done it. Is it weird? You have to get into it, into the mindset of it. Yeah.

That's, like, all I used to do. I used to love traveling by myself. You meet a lot more people. I don't think I would. I think I would do the same thing I do here. I would go to my hotel room and just look at my phone. Turn on ESPN. Yeah.

Stay up way past. I don't think I'd be a good solo traveler. I'd be too nervous. You've got to find the... Go into open mic nights in different cities and just tell them you're from out of town. And all the comedian people are usually, this was a long time ago, but, like, we'll come out with us after. We'll show you, like, our nooks and crannies of the city. Or, like, I found going to, like, smaller breweries, they're really open to talking to you.

And once they find out you're not from there, they'll show you around. And, like, I would stay in shitty hostels. And people, too, are so, like, they just want to show you. Where did you do that um i know in richmond went out with a bunch of comedians there one night but like i did like a long weekend of richmond by myself and then i flew out to the west coast rented a car and just spent weeks by myself just oregon washington just going down the coast and like into the boonies and that's like met strangers and went tubing down the snookwamish River and always

entered tubing like I went to like a random wedding like I ended up having like yeah I ended up having like the best time and meeting the best people I feel like solo travelers like they have something that I don't have that I wish I did well I think I think to say solo travel I mean there are people who presumably do it a lot but but to do it once or twice in a moment is cool. But like Donnie, I mean, he's obviously the far end of the spectrum. Doesn't he often have like a camera guy? Not back in the day. I suppose not, yeah.

He would do it all himself. Selfishly, there was something kind of addicting about it where after a while, because nobody else has anything, you get to do exactly what you want to do in the moment you're like well i'm gonna make a left turn here and no there's nobody else to consider and like it gets like really kind of addicting like yeah do whatever the hell you want and go wherever you want it's kind of cool yeah the pizza hut tastes so good when you have some bitch in your ear yeah you know nobody's nagging you and you know telling you what to do. But yeah.

I do like going to different cities and just walking. I might do that. I might do a solo trip. That's cool, man. You want to do one with me? Yeah. Okay, nice. Let's do it.

We'll talk to each other. Let's do a solo trip together. I used to travel solo for a lot of the battle rap stuff I do. But I'd go to a city and I'd be around a bunch of battle rappers. But I'd find myself alone or whatever. But Nick, I was like you. I'd be alone in Australia for a couple days, and I wasn't meeting people.

Even I stayed at a hostel. I didn't like it. I just didn't feel like being around a bunch of other people where it was private but not private. So I might not have that same part. You want to come with me and Nick on a might go with you guys on a solo trip. Let's get a big group. A three-man solo.

You know, the weirdest thing I remember was that, like, I did it when I was a single guy, and you feel really creepy talking to women because you're alone. Right. And it's like, that's weird. But as soon as you've had a couple of drinks, it's not weird and everyone trusts you. Right. Yeah, I don't.

Is that creepy? Got them right where you want them. No, no. Did you say as soon as they've had a couple of drinks or you? No, as soon as you. You start speaking and it's like, oh, this guy's. All you got to do is get him like five or six drinks. I feel like it makes you emotional, though.

Or like you kind of can perceive beauty a little bit more when you're like alone. It's just like you're just like sitting on a bench and being like, oh, that's like an old couple walking by. Or like, this is a beautiful beach. You just do like the movie. You're just playing a movie in your own head. 100%. It's the main character. 100%. It's big main character energy.

It's just like, I'm on an adventure. I also cried alone in the car a lot. No, I cried alone on a park bench in Sweden. It was great. I cried alone on Bondi Beach in Australia. Yeah, yeah. It's great to have a good cry. Beautiful.

And I did the stand-up in Sweden. I went and did that for like three days. Just did open mics. Was that nerve-wracking? It's a humor Sweden. I went and did that for like three days. Just did open mics. Was that nerve-wracking? It's a humor translate. Yeah, how does that? They do... The whole country's fluent pretty much in English.

But the goal that I had when I went over there was that I really... I knew that in Scandinavian culture, it's a very strong understood rule that whenever you go to someone's home, you take your shoes off no matter what, hard and fast. It's like the most important thing. And I had this idea because I'd been to Sweden a couple of years, Norway a couple of years earlier, we went to a pregame and everyone just took their shoes off. Like girls were unlacing these complicated stiletto shoes. And I said I wanted to, in my Airbnb, I wanted to host a shoeless pregame. It was my goal. And that day I went to this mall, this food court, and started talking to various groups of people.

And that night I had 40 people at my break. Whoa. What? Total strangers that I'd met that day. And everyone took their shoes off yeah of course yeah and and there was it was in the middle of winter and there was like a sliding door out to this sort of grassy area and people would go out for cigarettes and they would put their shoes on to go out and then when they came back in they would take them off before they came

back in it was really i loved that big destination if you're a foot guy. Yeah. You guys shoes off houses? I don't tell people to. I do when I'm visiting somebody. I like to take my shoes off. I like having shoes on. I do too. If I could until bed. Yeah.

Even in bed. In bed, I'll sleep a pair of shoes on. I'll take mine off as soon as I get home. Yeah, I can't. New York streets are so gross. Once you walk to Penn Station, man. Gotta. It's like feeling like I can just run out at any moment.

Sprinting to the street. I can leave my whole family behind. There's a fire, yeah. Yeah. I'm ready. They're not. Idiots. You have the advantage on them.

Exactly. Beat them out. Oh, you just can't. As long as you're not the slowest. That's right. Fire can't get you as you're not the slowest that's right fire can't get you what are you gonna say steven big time shoes off i'm surprised anyone would be shoes yeah yeah makes sense shoes off pillow on the ground for dinner

i do take my shoes i always ask if i go someone else's house like i've never you even have your shoes off when I always ask if I go to someone else's house. Like, I've never. You even have your shoes off when you're tending to your Zen garden? Barefoot only, brother. It's definitely harder to eat dinner cross-legged with your shoes on. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. When I went to Pat Bev's house, I kicked my shoes off, and he was, like, insulted by it.

Yeah. Really? I was, like, trying to be respectful, because he was like insulted by it. Yeah. Really? I was like trying to be respectful because it's like I've gotten to the point in New York where I automatically just do it at people's apartments to try and be like respectful. Yeah. Especially if they have some shoes there. But he's like, you just came in, took your shoes off right away. It's also like, yeah, like sitting in someone else's house with your shoes off feels.

Vulnerable. Yeah, it does. Like they could take your shoes, throw them out. Fucking bad guy comes in with a chainsaw and you can't run. Gotta pretend you're asleep and jump through the third story window. How's it going with Pat, Bev? Good. Yeah?

Very good. I see him challenging you a bit more. I think he gets the content game a little bit more. What did he say about the polls game? He was depressed. Show my game? He was sad. Show my shirt? He was depressed. Show my shirt on the next episode.

I should. Did you see it? No. I made a shirt to see if you could pull it up. It actually, I don't want to flex on Mincy, but it sold like 300 of them. God damn. Yeah, it was a joke shirt about us almost winning. Playing first game chant.

Yeah, well, I made the shirt when we were up in the third quarter, and then I had to make a quick adjustment when we lost the game. Yeah, I thought that they were about to win that game. They should have put that. See? 2022-2023 champions. Eastern Conference playing tournament for the eighth seed. Never mind we lost

but it was a close game. That's pretty damn good. That's pretty fucking good. So 300 of them because that is a one of one. I told everyone I was like you won't get this will be off the store

in 24 hours. Damn that is awesome. I told him he should just reframe how he talks about himself how he's like I've never missed the playoffs. I'd be like I've never

missed the postseason. Yeah. Say that and it's way easier. But he was very bummed about it. But he took his comeuppance like a man. He seems to be becoming genuine friends with the guys in the Chicago office. Yeah. He, like, trolls them.

Yeah. He, like, just, like, waded through Eddie's conversation in, like, the background of, like, a dog walk or something like that. Just, like, sneakily slinked by. We did a live stream for the fourth quarter of the game last night. Saw that. Trying to do some extra shit. He wants to do like the field day.

Yeah, I don't know if he, yeah, I don't know. We got to get him in this fucking office. But a lot of people on the live stream were clamoring for him to come on the act. So if he's in the office, we got to get him on here. When is he coming? I don't know. He's at some time. We're trying to work out some live shows, too, for the playoffs.

We're going to try to bang out some live shows. But he's really trying to, like, double down or, like, ramp it up for the playoffs now that he's out of the playoffs. He doesn't like the feeling of not having shit to do. So he's got to be like a dad. He's, like, picking up Legos and shit. Worst. Enough to make a man move 80 minutes

away from his office just so he's commuting for 240 minutes or whatever. 160 minutes a day. The only piece you could find. You wait in your parking spot for a while. I forgot that you're not in yak shape. No. It's 60 minutes and you've got three words.

Yeah. You've got to get your wind. Got the sausage in front of me. It's got a lot going on. You got to get your. You got to extend your wind. Got the sausage in front of me. It's got a lot going on. That rub is so good. Yeah. I like a good rub. Have you seen the gay guy on TikTok that eats just salt?

He eats lemon pepper ice. What? Oh, yeah. And he'll just eat seasonings. That's all he eats. Straight seasonings on ice. What the fuck? Yeah. That's all he eats. Straight seasonings on ice. What the fuck? Yeah.

Sounds good. It sounds terrible. He made the lemon pepper ice look delicious. Really? Yeah, him. Low-calorie snack. Oh, it's HSM. Oh, my God.

Just like he just got into every Ivy League school. Yeah, this is incredible. I followed his recipe. It's fucking good. Is it really? No I'm so stupid This is his snack?

Yeah he loves lemon pepper ice Why is his hair doing that? He spent time His favorite yellow lemon Look how he squeezes That's not doing anything I want to kill him I'm so excited

Is he trolling? No, I don't think Oh Ow I think that those aren't the best ice cubes for that Definitely not Sean Bradley's hands He shaved ice

You gotta get the Sonic Crunch dice Get a little pebble Yep I suspect this guy has a unibrow Yeah Yeah They're treading close I also this guy is a unibrow. Yeah. Yeah. They're treading close.

I also want to say he might have an eating disorder. Yes. Obviously. He's doing a TikTok eating ice. Lemon pepper ice. He does all these like seasoning reviews and yeah. High sodium. Look at this guy on the far right over there.

That's a little puff ball. He'll talk about his favorite seasoning. You know what just popped up on my algorithm huge in the last couple days? Cartel talk. Whoa. That's the do. Where the people

who are actually in the cartels down in Columbia are like, here, watch us make cocaine this afternoon. And you're watching them making cocaine. Good branding for them.

And they don't mind showing their faces and they don't mind showing all their shit. They're probably the police. It's amazing. TJ, can you find the Ivy League admissions and just search and see if it's...

Brandon, you need some lemon pepper ice? Oh, I'm good. I would put that rub all over ice and I would eat it in a bowl. That shit was fucking fire. It's nice. I want to see wine steaks. Oh, wait.

It wasn't this kid. You scroll. I should have made one I think you'll like this Brandon when I got into Harvard I had a meltdown I don't like it so far why?

I had a major meltdown because I it fucked with my head and I thought I did not deserve to get in I went to WVU that's when I got into East Mississippi Community College. That's when your dad was like, no, you have to, and you were like, I don't want your life. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember that. Where else were you thinking? I applied early there. Nowhere else? I knew I'd get in because of lacrosse. How long did it take you to come around and be like, all right. It was a major crisis for me. So sorry you went through that.

But my point being, I remember it was really sad. My parents took me out to dinner to celebrate, and they were really proud. And the waitress came over and said, oh, are we celebrating something? And they said, our son just got into college. And she said, which one? And I was like, I don't want to talk about it. And I got up and walked out. Oh, wow. And I was

really bad. To this day, I feel really bad about it. What if we told that waitress that that soon-to-be Harvard grad would someday drop out of Fordham Law School. Then, after that, you'd become a Barstool beast.

Probably wouldn't ask. One day, you should try to get, oh, if you win Barstool beast, you should see if the Harvard like, whatever, alumni magazine would write you up. That would be incredible. I don't like if he wins Barstool Beast. When? Yeah, they have the side thing

like, oh yeah, like, you know, class of 92, just... Achievements. Yeah, you know. They're not going to ever, ever put me in that stuff.

I think I was in the Wisconsin one. I didn't get invited to my reunion. Oh yeah, I remember that. I didn't have to design WVU reunion to get invited. Even after you mentioned it,

nobody was like, hey. Why? I don't know don't know huh are you okay you got a migraine i gotta pay you i gotta pay do you ever donate no i i maybe would but no why uh so many better i agree i i don't i don't but i know that all my friends do, and it's because they have this theory that when their children come of age, the admissions committee is going to check their donation record. You got in and your dad didn't go there. Nobody in my family had ever gone there. Yeah, I don't know.

I just feel like if I could donate for like a five star quarterback yeah but there's so many better charities than like the $4 billion endowment of a college I guess it never gets taken away to me it's a question of like would you

do you would you want your kids to have the an advantaged opportunity to go there, theoretically? No. Madison? Not BVU. No. He's going to need to kill himself.

I applied early to Pitt and no other schools because I was like, I'm not going to get into Pitt, and I did not get into Pitt. I had to go to IUP. I had to do my backup. I could see you doing it for Harvard. But state school, I... Yeah.

IUPs, that's the Harvard of Indiana. It is. It really is. U-P-U-I? Yeah. Just IUP. I love that every state has their Harvard. Because isn't Miami of Ohio the Harvard of Ohio?

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Michigan is the Harvard of the Midwest. That's what they try to tell you. Everyone's got a heart. I'm going to Penn State.

Isn't Stanford the Harvard of the West? I agree with that. Is UMass the Harvard of Massachusetts? What is the Harvard of every state? Rutgers. Rutgers is not the Harvard of every state. Princeton is the Harvard of New state? Rutgers. Rutgers is not the Harvard of every state. Winston is the Harvard of New Jersey. The original Ivy.

Rutgers was? Yeah, Rutgers and William & Mary were offered Ivy League, and they said no. That doesn't mean they're an original Ivy. Why would you say no? They wanted to stay public. Is that true? I'm going to check. It's like saying North Korea was the original U.N.

Or the People's Ivy. They didn't accept. People's Republic. It's like saying North Korea was the original UN. Or the People's Ivy. They didn't accept. People's Republic. People's Ivy. Wait, was Rutgers, is it a very old school? Oh, yeah. It started in the 60s. I know William and Mary is the second oldest college in America.

Yeah, Rutgers. Rutgers. Didn't Rutgers start football? Yeah. 1869. Well, okay. But. These dudes would die.

Now we're talking 1600s is how far back. Rutgers was established in the 1760s. Oh. Well, there you go. Then, yeah, that is amazing. What was Harvard? 1636. Jeez.

What were they teaching, though? They were definitely teaching some trash science. Yeah. How to prune your apple orchard. Yeah. I mean, there were still 200 years of slavery after Harvard was... There were still burning witches up there. Yeah, but not in Massachusetts.

They'd already... Well, yeah. Massachusetts Bay Colony, all that shit. John Adams was in early class there. And... What did they teach? That was 17... Wait, when was Shakespeare?

He was 1500s, I thought. They probably were just doing Shakespeare until you fucking... That was still that new shit that the kids were. That was one of the classics. Shakespeare was original TikTok. All the kids were on that shit. Just don't get it. You think people were spitting Shakespeare bars at each other, Ron?

For sure. There's a thing called... I mean, battle rap is very old. Yeah. It was called flighting, and it was like a Gaelic thing. There's a thing called I mean Battle rap is Is very old Yeah It was called Flighting And it was like A Gaelic thing

That like That'd be like Public Rhyming insults That people would Kind of gather But I think that That predates Shakespeare

Flighting Wow Imagine just like All you learn is Shakespeare And that the earth was I guess the earth Wasn't flat then But

If it was I bet you it's Rounded over time Yeah Rounded itself out Figured it out I guess the Earth wasn't flat then, but. If it was, I bet you it's rounded over time. It's rounded itself out. I guess. You should really touch up on basic knowledge that I've lost all of. Who found out the Earth wasn't flat?

Magellan? Galileo? It was Galileo. Okay, I'm good with that. Galileo, didn't Galileo. It was Galileo. Okay, I'm good with that. I'm nice with that. Galileo. Didn't Galileo also... Copernicus?

They all were pedophiles. Who was the one that said that developed the heliocentric theory, meaning the sun is the center of the universe? I think it was Luka Doncic. He was in big trouble because everyone said that that was heretical. Right. In that it went against religious theory.

Everything true has gone against religious theory. That actually is also true, yes. They've been wrong about everything. They kind of have. They've kind of... Until they're not. And you're in hell. Fuck. Who had that bit? I went a football at me.

Some comedian had a fucking hilarious bit God damn it George Carlin right Is it George Carlin About how like Religion was getting their ass kicked For like Hundreds and thousands of years

Because science and everything And then when AIDS came along They're like ha You got it Finally We got one. We told you. Fucking prep.

I can't remember who I find. I feel bad. Church is probably who's stifling the word about prep. Yeah. Can't let them know. Isn't the church getting a little hip these days? The church is getting a little hip. What church?

The church. The church? I am... You say the church, you're talking about the Vatican, right? I'm talking about the Roman Catholic establishment.

I am more open to religion now than at any other point in my life. Because you're getting older. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, the closer you get

to death... Interesting. You're going to hedge your bets a little, you know? I've never met a religious baby. Fact. Interesting. You're going to hedge your bets a little, you know. I've never met a religious baby. Fact. True.

Huh. So you're going to bring religion back into your life? You know, I've been having a lot of rage problems, and I've been looking for a cure for it. Religion. And I thought that the Lord might help. Yeah, or Alabama basketball, yeah. You could just, yeah, throw yourself into Nate Oates.

That's interesting. Have you gone down the path? No. I have a hard time squaring it with my logical brain maybe a different religion I've gotten more accepting of religion as I've gotten older I'm not religious

I don't believe in a god but I've gotten more accepting of other people welcome back to the yak Brando other people it used to be this shithead who was like believe what you want to believe. Yeah. It's your life.

I don't think there's anything wrong with people having hope. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I used to be one of those pricks like the vegetarian. I'm moving the Bible to the fiction section of the bar. Yeah, those people suck.

All right. It was one of those people. I sucked. Yeah. Welcome back. people. I sucked. Welcome back, Brandon. Thanks. He is gassed right now. No, no.

How long has your Chick-fil-A been sitting here? We basically... I didn't get Chick-fil-A today because I had to get it on every stop during my trip back with the boys. We took you from the DL to 120 pitches. Yeah, you're pushing me right now. We didn't extend you at all. Nadeau's in for a beating tonight. Oh, yeah.

Once Brandon gets a couple in him. Yeah. A couple sweet teas in him takes his belt off. Oh, no. Nadeau is going to get it. You should just randomly pop off at him. I think I'm going to. It's a funny.

Oh, good. Because he, Nadeau is like one of those very interesting guys who's like, he isn't on it, but also not. He doesn't really take it personally. Oh, he doesn't. He'd still say he likes Brandon. Right, exactly. Yeah. That's a good quality.

His stuff with the women is confusing. I feel like he's the only person here who, not that he would, but who could sexually harass me, and I'd be like, fair enough. It's you. I get it. Yeah, yeah, that's Riz.

You were going to make you pump. Yeah, that's true. But I feel like... Hang on, girl. We're coming. I know you're in pain. Wouldn't you say too, Kate, like shorter guys

are kind of get away with that a little more? I feel like there's a leeway. Yeah. Where you're like, okay. Yeah, right. You confront them on it and they'll be like,

you're not God or my father or my boss. Did you tell her we were going to milk her? Yeah. Yeah, we did. We did say that. We didn't ask her.

We did. There's going to be a milk wheel. I mean, I don't know what's confusing about him. He gets broads. Yeah. Who's filming when he's doing the sort of cozying up? Other broads. How could you not film that?

Yeah. Him a lot. And then if I were a girl at the club And I saw someone filming me Dancing around with him I'm not so sure that I would keep going Nothing against him I just feel like I wouldn't want What you're doing is you're talking about this situation

In a vacuum In a world without Riz Here's a little bit of the Riz of the situation too Like if you're a social media guy I've seen social media guys pull this type of Riz before. You pull out your phone while you're in a public setting and do the social media around the people, and then they see that you have a social media following. That's Riz.

Also, his track suits look good to grind on. Yes. I just slip right off. He also— Linoleum flooring. That's not part of the Riz, but it doesn't hurt. He also might get the occasional like someone comes up to him. That is, I feel like, at a club or a bar.

Specifically, caveat, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Yeah. That goes a long way. I feel like when someone comes up and asks for a picture, everyone's like, who's that? Yeah. And then the Riz takes over. Well, we should just start a business then of like a guy out on a date and somebody's like, hey man, can I get a picture?

Yeah. A Riz. A Riz. What? How are we going to monetize Riz? Just like that. No, but a well-timed picture with a stoolie can do wonders. Just do it.

Nah, I say no to pictures. Always. You always have. What am I getting? Why don't we make it last longer? Let's just touch dicks. Let's just touch dicks.

Listen, everyone can get a selfie with any celebrity. How many celebrities will touch dicks with you? You guys saying during the race the ass fuck wheel? I was so drunk and i was so adamant about doing just one five foot by five foot coin that if you bought it you could fuck whoever in the ass you're gonna like lug it around with you though like the thing is if you saw him coming you'd be like i'm gonna go this way 500 pound coin it's hard to sneak up on tungsten it should be tungsten if i get tapped on the shoulder and i just like see the circle shadow behind me,

I'm just going to spread my cheeks. I'm not even turning around. Have your way. TJ, should we spin the wheel? Speaking of, it's been a fun yak, guys. I'm having fun. TJ, how many boxes do you have for your 40-minute unboxing? Probably like 15, 20. Perfect. When are you doing it?

Sometime this week. I have meetings today and tomorrow at 3.30, so I'm already expired for today, but this week. Damn, you have meetings? I have architecture meeting for this show after this. Oh, I have a studio meeting.

That was one of the meetings I missed. I think they told me I have another one today. Right, TJ? I don't know if you're on it, but Hank's, I mean, it's about this show. Hank got mad at me yesterday because we did the PMT studio and I just switched

everything that he had. He's just like, what the fuck, dude? Alright, yeah, spin the wheel. Gotta ask Titus what my studio is going to look like. If you don't quit. Almost got the whole thing. Ooh, stop. A little dry.

Okay, very fun yak. Very fun yak. Thank you, Francis. Thank you for having me. Are you around the rest of the week? I am. All right, I think we're light because, Ron, you're gone. No, my flight's not until 5.30 tomorrow.

So you're here tomorrow, great. I'm going to come in to yak. All right. You're insane. Why? Well, Nick. How many times did you know? Where are you flying at?

43. No, you'll be fine. Nick is psycho. I'm not worried about you. Leave at 2.30. You have three hours. Yeah. What airport?

That's what I'm looking up right now. That's not JFK. It's JFK, isn't it? Where are you going? It's JFK. It is? You're flying to Austin. It is JFK, probably.

Yeah, you leave at 2. You're fine. 2.30. No, you're fine. I'll leave at 2. I'll come in, yak for an hour. Love that. Fuck it.

I love that from you. You should take the New Jersey from Penn Station transit out to Jamaica and then hop on the air train from there. It's the quickest way to get there. I've heard it's, yeah, it's, I heard that was the best. Really doable. It's easy. Nah, hop in it.

I gotta, yeah, how about I just give you the card and you just do a new one? I got one on there best. Really doable. It's easy. Nah, hop in it. I got a, yeah. How about I just give you the card and you just do a noob? I got one on there. Yeah. I got one. How many people have you got in your fleet? How many people do I have? In your fleet?

Yeah, Brandon's in mine. A couple people. You're probably in my fleet, too. I'm in his. Yeah, he's in mine. A couple people are in my fleet. I already got me a card. Figure out a flow check.

I don't know why. And some people I don't even know who because they were like you went from this place to this place and it's like I wasn't there. Like you're going to have to pay for this. I wasn't there.

Like it says it's Adam. It's like I don't know what to tell you. I wasn't there. So I guess Smitty's on it. I don't know. Some other people. All right.

See everyone tomorrow. See you tomorrow. We'll see you next time.