The Yak - We're Planning a Yak Night at a Minor League Game | The Yak 3-29-23

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

Hank is redeemed.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. Presented by Roback. Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use promo code TAKE. No. Promo code YAK.

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code YAK. Get ready to spring into spring with Roebuck. Hello, everyone. What are they called? I think I don't want to say it. Wax bottles, right? Yeah, wax bottles. Yeah.

They've arrived. 16 pounds of them. That was a little ambitious of me, so please, we got to get going. So how does it work? You eat the... I'll show you. Yeah, yeah. You spit it. Is it all edible?

Squeeze it in juice. No, it's not. And then you chew the wax. Yeah. Until you swallow it? No. What? You haven't been swallowing them, have you? Yeah. I found them on someone else's desk the other day and tried to eat them, but I didn't know how.

I didn't know what I was supposed to swallow or not. I put like six of them in my hoodie pocket on Friday, and then I forgot, and I was running around afterwards, and then towards the end of the day I reached in my hoodie pocket and it was just a ball of juice and wax and like every crumb from my pockets. You're a fucking slob, Kate. Oh, yeah. It's very fun to chew on you've

disgust me kate how's the experience kyle how's it feeling i gotta remind myself that the payoff for the impulse buys are never worth it as i sit with my 16 pounds of wax bottles and my restaurant peepers uh yeah you are surrounded by it. I like impulse buys. Yeah, I do too. I think all of my buys are impulse. It's good if you can sell them for charity later on. Yeah.

There's like a cycle of impulse buy that you can flip back to the consumer and say it's for charity. Speaking of which, we raised $14,000. Brandon took all that money and went to buy a house in Chicago. Yeah, he's just gone. Damn. Next day. Gone. He's a grifter. He's on his Dolezal shit.

Sean White shit. Yeah. Sean White still grift? Sean White? What do you mean? What do you mean? Grifter? No. Quarterback? No, the guy. Oh, that's Sean King. Sean King. Sean King.

My brain is not on today. Sean King. I have March Madness fatigue. My brain, I haven't had a coherent thought in about three weeks. I need it to end. I don't know how you guys do those really long streams and then just run it back. Nope. You need to take more vacations.

I know. You went on a vacation. You should be vacationing every week. One is all you need. Just one vacation for your whole life. Yes. That's it. It was three days.

Seven-day work week. Dude, how about these fucking France protests because they're just telling them they got to work more. Yeah, wait. What's going on? France doesn't get enough credit for being like the kings of protest. Also, France owned like half the world, and then they surrender once, and now they're pussies.

Yeah, that's true. It also was that fucking, what is it, the Maginot Line they built that Nazis went through in like a day. What's the Maginot Line? It was like their big line of defense for World War II. Think of Sean White. Oh, right, Sean White. Jumped the Maginot Line.

Oh, they built up this huge line after World War I, and the Nazis went through it in like one day. They blitzkrieg it? Nazis are so badass. Can I say that? From a purely design standpoint, good logo. Memorable.

Sticks with you. When you're making a logo, especially if you're a band or something like that, you want it to be very draw. You want people to be able to draw it. Like the band Black Flag. They want kids to be able to spray paint it. Or Nazis. Yeah. That is dope.

But in France they're going from 62 to 64 as their retirement age. That's what Macron's proposing. That's what has gotten everyone upset. That's why everybody's proposing. Or everybody's protesting rather. And everybody's just furious that they're going to have to work two more years. Yeah. Isn't it in France like when, when you hit six, you, like, legally can't work?

They retire you. Not even, not like they're working to begin with. They take all of August off. Like, six holidays a year. What do people do in France? Are they mimes? Smoke cigs. Smoke cigarettes.

Bake bread. Yeah, they walk with a grocery bag with a baguette sticking out. Ladies are busy growing out their armpit hair. Oh, yeah. Bicycles. You know what I think it is, though? Macron married his school teacher who was a significantly

older woman, very French of him, but he probably just wants her to get back to work. She's probably at home fucking yapping. How old is Macron? How old is his wife? I think she's like 20 years older. She's 69. Wait, wasn't he with an Olsen twin before that? What? I think she's like 20 years older. She's 69.

Wait, wasn't he with an Olsen twin before that? What? I swear to God. I don't know. I swear, like I swear the president of France, I don't know if it's a current one, but was like 58 and he was with one of the Olsen twins like years ago. Is that true? I'm pretty sure. You're French, dude.

Why are you not living in America? You just clean up. Yeah. I mean, I think he's cleaning up over there. Yeah, true. He's getting both ends of the spectrum. What was the Italian guy who was just an all-time pervert? Berlusconi? Berlusconi. Who do you think's more perverts?

French or Italians? Italians. Italian. Real? The Kings. What about Pepe Le Pew? He was raping. Is that perverted? Wanting to fuck two people at once? Italian. Real? The Kings. What about Pepe Le Pew? He was raping. Ménage à trois. Is that perverted? Wanting to fuck two people at once? Are Italians horny?

Yes. Extremely. Tony was always fucking, but I don't think he was ever horny. True. He's Italian-American, though. Fat people can't get horny. There's a governor on their horny, you're saying? Yeah.

Kate, it seems like you're about to protest that. I've dabbled. Dabbled? No, they can. Italians? Oh, I thought we were talking about larger fellas. Oh, large, large guys. No, I mean, they can get horny.

I've dabbled both. I know that if I was 30 pounds lighter. He's kidding. Tony was always horny Yeah he was I think Italians Fuck out of obligation Just to prove they're not gay

Yeah They're so homophobic Yeah Look I fuck in the pussy I fuck in the dick Their life is just at the factory They have to reset it Wasn't there a word like machismo is she? That's not gonna dick. Her life is just at the factory like zero day you know they have

to reset it. Yeah. Well isn't there a word like machismo or machismo or whatever like. You got hair the fucking.

Yeah they go they finish fucking and they're like zero days since anyone's been able to claim I'm gay. Yeah. Or the timer

starts again you're like every second you're out of a pussy you become a little more gay. Yeah right. You just have to

replug in like the matrix. Yeah. Or a phone. Yeah, right. You just have to replug in, like the Matrix. Yeah. Or a phone. Or a phone. Either or. I was thinking of them sleeping in the pussy like a pod in the Matrix. Oh, and wake up.

Yeah. That's how they become Italian. Flushed out. That's actually why they, like, all Italian personality traits are just because they sleep inside of pussies. Yeah. That's why they're like that. Yeah. So, and then, like, American Italians have kind of lost that luster. They're not sleeping in pussies anymore.

They like cashmere. They like well-tailored fits. You know what I mean? Speedos. And nice shoes. Speedos, yeah. That type of shit. Leather.

Italians are perverted. Yeah. They're the kind of guys that grab you by the hips and be like, hey! Grab a woman by their hips. You know what I mean? French guys grab like, they'll maybe goose you. Who invented goosing?

What type of word is it? English? Goose? Technically, it's a definition of goosing. You just grab them. I think it's a pinch. I watched this video the other day. I guess it was a huge problem in London in the 70s definition of goosing. You just grab them. I think it's a pinch. I think it's a pinch. Yeah, it's a little. I watched this video the other day. I guess it was a huge problem in London in the 70s. Guys goosing ladies on this, like, wherever they went, just goop. And so the ladies started goosing the guys all the time.

Oh, no. There was this lady reporter from the news going around just following businessmen. And doop. She was like, did you like that? Yeah, that's literally it. That's all you did. Did you know what I'm talking about? No, exactly.

They're, like, on a set of stairs. Oh, can we watch it? She's go's literally what I did. Did you know what I'm talking about? No, exactly. They're like on a set of stairs. Oh, can we watch it? Goosing everybody that goes by. Old men. Going around. Some of them are pissed. Some of them were kind

of like, yeah, I kind of did like that. And I never. Goosing was big in our high school. Really? I got goosed a lot. We always used to go

oil check. That's the butthole now. Oh, yeah. It's weird, though. Like, do you get turned on when you goose someone on the train? No. I'm saving this inch of flesh for later.

Asses are more smackable than pinchable. Yeah. I wonder what they were trying to do in London back in the day. What was the purpose of all the goosing? Just to kind of remind women that men were still on top? I think so. Yeah, I think it was more of a power. It's a compliment.

Chill out, foots. Yeah, totally. Just means he likes you. If you smile a little more, you wouldn't get goosed. It is nice. As a guy, it's nice to get goosed. I don't like getting goosed.

You don't? Well, where are you goosed? Your rump. Oh, okay. I can deal with that. What were you thinking? My breasts. Oh, God. That's a whole different.

I'd fist fight. I do that to pound the... I don't know what you call that. Dana Beers and I do it to each other, and we both make each other very angry. There's this spherical aspect. Like that under the tit, and it's so degrading.

So degrading. Not to the point where you can tan, and then it's still pale underneath. I'll try. My next vacation next year. Well, no, you're done for life. Yeah, that's true. We'll never know.

Fuck. That's what you don't want. You don't want to be pasty under tit. That's tough. P-U-T. I had my tan lines, old barstool or people who've been around for a long time remember I had those. Permanent, right? Permanent for like 18 months.

I went to the beach. Dave and I did a video at the beach playing can jam and I I put on no suntan lotion, and I was wearing a tank top. And I just, I've never burnt more. I don't usually burn. And then I took it off, and literally for 18 months, you could see the outline of it. It's kind of cool. Must have been a cloudy day. They say you get more burnt on the cloudy days.

Is that true? I don't know. They say that. Wind blows the UV rays. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I just true? I don't know if they say that. Wind blows the UV rays. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I just can't buy it, though.

Look at that. That was... Okay, so this video was filmed... Dang. Do we have a date? I'm getting big Italian vibes from that photo. I think that video was filmed in... Yeah, there it is.

All of that. Yeah. It was filmed in, yeah, there it is, all of that. Yeah. That's like a solid like eight months after. I was still rocking it. At least. I feel like it went on a long time. It never went away.

It went back. Yeah. Kind of a cool calling card. Yeah, it was. People like legitimately started reaching out being like my sister's a doctor and she thinks she has skin cancer. Shut up. You might have. I beat it. Yeah it's the lightest one. One time survivor.

No that's not the lightest cancer. Testicular for men right? Can't you just chop off the nut? Out of sight out of mind. I thought like 80% of Australians get skin cancer. Really? Testicular for men, right? Can't you just chop off the nut? Out of sight, out of mind? I thought like 80% of Australians get skin cancer. Really? Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma?

That one feels like pretty curable. I thought that was... Oh, yeah, I don't know. Oh, boy. I'm not going to say enough. Can you Google what the most curable cancer is? Best cancer? Best cancer to get? Yeah, so we also have to clean up yesterday when you guys are ready.

What? Oh, Big Cat wasn't here for that. We have drama on our hands. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I started getting tweets. So what it was, it was wet came up. Hank got it. Hank said that he texted five minutes.

Oh, here it is. And we waited significantly longer than that. Oh, no. So we only had the studio until 3. Hank said that he will get wet. He's at home right now, but he said he's doing meetings all day. He said he would get wet at home on Zoom if we wanted. Or he said he's happy to get wet when he comes back to the office.

So he's going to San Diego for a week or something? So he's very much down. He's not, I know Hank, he's not ducking it. So it's kind of what, put up a poll. Would you like to see Hank get wet? Fully clothed at home right now? I want to see him in here. Or you want to see him in here in about 10 days?

I would wait the 10 days. Not at home? At home, he could just change right away. You know what I mean? I can't smell the wetness on him. You want to see it, or do you just want to get it done with? He's fully down, though. He's not running from the grind?

I would like to just get a glimpse of his home life. Yeah, I would like to see his bathroom decor. I've been to his apartment, so I guess I... Let's trick him into showing us the whole thing. Yeah, all right, give him a tour. Okay, so TJ, text Hank and tell him. I think he said he had a meeting till 1.30 and then he'll zoom in.

He has a dope-ass wall in his apartment and it's all photographs that he's taken, like three-by-fives that he just has up, like plastered across the entire wall, little collage wall of just different faces and times in his life. Like the movie Seven. Kind of like the movie Seven, yeah.

Exactly like the movie Seven. Does Hank have a pillar in his apartment. Like the movie Seven. Kind of like the movie Seven, yeah. Exactly like the movie Seven. Does Hank have a pillar in his apartment? I bet he does. I know you two fucking have pillars. Who? I have the pole. You have a pole. Yeah, he's a pole.

You have a pillar. I have a pillar. I have two pillars, to be honest. Two? Sodom and Gomorrah. Low bearing. Samson would rip these bitches down. Where's Sass?

He's not feeling well. Sick. Oh, he got what Owen had? Appendicitis. Yeah, appendicitis. That's very contagious. It is. He's sick.

I'm about to just start getting sick like that. Oh, I can't come to work today. I'm sick. Mysteriously. Right? Fight through it one time, Sass. Show a little bit of grit. I don't care.

Get us sick. Sure. This is Gamertag. Is he online right now? Better not be. He won in Call of Duty last night. You beat Pat? No.

Pat was messaging, trying to get Sass to talk, go back and forth, and Sass wouldn't give him the time of day, and then afterwards he was like, tell Pat I just won that game. He didn't. What a pussy. He's just such a freaking pussy. He is going to get gamer sick.

That's, like, the worst type of sick. Gamer sick? Yeah, when you just, like, get sick, but it's not because you've been, like, working so hard. It's just you staying up so late playing games. Oh, gamer sick. In your gross room. Yeah, eating, like, garbage. Yeah, and you're just like, oh, I'm so sick. In your gross room. Yeah, eating like garbage. Yeah, and you're just like, oh, I'm so sick.

It's like, what have you been doing? You've been like, you know, going to parties or, you know, working really? No, I've just been... Sedentary. Yeah. Your body just rejects it. You've got to be moving. Yeah, he even sent a picture of his gamer setup.

He's shaking that ass. Oh, man. This is nothing like Hank's apartment. Oh, man, that's nothing like Hank's apartment. Oh, man. That's pathetic. That is tough. Look at right next to the screen. A big-ass Aveeno skin relief moisturizer.

Oh, he's jerking it. Very dry skin. Jerking it. Two loose dollar bills, a ripped-open battery pack, and maybe some multivitamins to try and simulate sunlight because he's not getting any. There's probably people around the world who just have been gaming in their room for 10

plus years. Yes. Yes. Although gamers have come a long way in terms of their setup. They have cool setups. The backlight, the cool gamer chair. They should. Sass is somehow still sucks.

Sass is still playing football with the leather helmet. He's laying in his bed. He's playing basketball in converses. Yeah, right. There's better shoes out there you can play basketball in. Ergonomical chairs. Why doesn't he just stream? Is that too easy of a question?

I think that's his, like, his... Getaway. Yeah, his escape. Got it, got it, got it. I don't think he talks when he games. Oh, he just sits there and games. I think he's with his boys, and so they talk about, like, their boys' stuff.

Their boys' stuff. Their boys stuff. What girls they like. Girls they have crushes on. 100%. Like what their groomsmen are going to have to wear at their weddings and stuff like that. They're going to make them wear silly polka-dotted suits. Probably talk so much shit on us. Anybody, any of you guys have a new crush?

I don't think so. Oh, yeah, my wife. Son of a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking son of a bitch. I saw this roller skating video from some small town in Connecticut with this older dude

who has the long hair, and you could tell he was cool as hell a couple decades ago, but he was doing backflips on the rink and stuff and I felt a little crush on him. Oh, okay. Felt a little crush. Okay. A little something.

In a different time, I guess I felt. I guess, yeah, I saw Marjorie Taylor Greene doing pull-ups and I was like, ooh, that's a body on her. Yeah, a little tingle. Good form. Great brain. Yeah, good brain, good form. Harmless little crush.

It's just a little crush. Not like I faint. Do you think Marjorie Taylor Greene, does she like, she knows she's just wild? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She knows it? I don't like that. I like the wild ones to not even know they're wild.

I'm going to catch a wild one. Yeah, right. Just like sit her down and be like, you're saying some wild shit. She's like, what? Yeah, you've been wild. Yeah. He's like, no, I haven't. You have to just play it all back for her.

Like, okay, I guess I could see that could be wild. But she knows. Is it on the wild side? I don't know. I think so. Playing in on it? She wears wild outfits and hollers. Do you guys keep up with these politicos?

Oh, I don't. At all. I know who she is, but that's about the extent of my knowledge. We have the exact same extent of our knowledge. I know she's just wild. Yeah, I think it's the new Twitter algorithms just putting this random shit in front of me that I didn't intend to see,

and so now I'm just seeing some shit about her. I feel like I only see shit when she gets something factually very wrong. But I think it doesn't matter because that's what gets you the spotlight. Right, I kind of like it. It's brilliant. There's confidence in it. It's smart, yeah. Being wrong, you can never be wrong.

She's mean girling us. Yeah, you can never be wrong if you think you're right. Yes. She's never been wrong. She's a little bit, yeah, she's a little bit right. She's not right, which is a degree of being right. Exactly. It's a level of being right.

Yeah, on a scale of zero to ten of right, she's zero, but that's a scale. Yeah, wow. She's on the spectrum of right. Nothing is something. I like to be on the spectrum. No, it's not. If you guys were just going to put on a TV channel just to have on in the background for like more than an hour, so you're not hunting out a specific show, what TV channel would you just throw on and just have sit there? Game show network, but not to play along, but to hear the sound of the lingo balls. Ooh.

Ooh. Yeah. That's a good-ass sound. lingo balls. Ooh. Ooh. Yeah. That's a good-ass sound. Lingo balls. I found HGTV very comforting. Yeah. After I had my son and I was stuck on the couch forever,

I just put that on for like days. Like, I should add a barn door to my house. Yeah. They always find a little mistake and the music gets intense, but then they fix it. Everything's fine. I just could do that forever.

House Hunters? Yeah. Put that on forever. House Hunters? Yeah, House Hunters. Put that on forever. The show I, like when I watch NBA because I have the league pass, after the game is over, they'll just kick it to like Emeril's latest like convection oven. I'll usually keep that on. That's kind of sweet.

Just kind of have him walk me through what he's doing. Those are fun, yeah. Yeah, those are fun. Do you still do the bam? Oh what he's doing. Those are fun, yeah. Yeah, those are fun. Does he still do the bam? Oh, he bams. Nice. There's one where, I think I tweeted out the video, there's a vacuum cleaner this lady sells,

and it can literally suck up pool balls. Oh, wait, our yak ads are up. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yak, yak, baby, Graham's diaper on Venmo, Graham diaper fun. Oh, that's Yak Yak Baby, Graham's Diaper on Venmo, Graham Diaper Fun. Oh, that's brilliant. Whatever the top right one says. Oh, I'll Venmo Graham's Diaper Fun.

I'm not reading the top right. Too far. Too far. I didn't read it. Kyle, what is that? I'm trying to read it. Read it. Top right, Kyle.

I test for KB. Oh, my God. Go ahead. If you can't do it, you have to. Go get glasses. All right. Go ahead. Start. If you can't do it, you have to. Go get glasses. All right. Ready? Go.

If you read... Oh, okay. Oh! You almost got your ass. You almost got your ass. Wait, is that NBA God? The guy that fucked me in trivia? NBA God will rise?

NBA God bought the top right? We just... You have a name to him now? Yak is in a trivia slump. We've been losing too? Yeah. We've been losing. The whole show's in a slump.

Because Jeff is... Not me. Oh, yeah, Blaze carried your ass. Blaze is so smart. So smart. He's a prep gentleman, I fucking respect Blaze so much. And Jeff juices the balls for you guys. He wants to be

friends with Patty. Yeah. The last round was flags of Europe. Patty's European. Their niche is letters. Patty's family members. Round

eight was Famous MMA moves Yeah What the fuck are we supposed to do? No I I'm starting to get my love back For the dozen

I still like to fuck with Jeff And also Like there's Maybe like Three percent of the dozen fans That just I think would actually Spit in my face if they saw me on the street

As I said At the end of the match Jeff was announcing the tournament I was like how many do we have to lose To not be in the tournament Fuck you dude If you don't want to play just don't fucking play I'm not begging you to play

It was a joke We can't lose enough to be out of the tournament. That's how good we are. I should not be in the All-Star game. No, you're in the All-Star game. I know I shouldn't be. No, you should be. You're like the Pro Bowl quarterback

who will be like first team. You're like, you know what? I'm just not going to play. And so like Tyrod Taylor winds up in the Pro Bowl. No, you should be in the All-Star game. I'm Tyrod Taylor. You're a fan lightning rod. Yeah, you were about to say favorite. No, no, no.

Our entire team, the three of us, Stephen, Shea, Ron, and I are all, I think there's definitely a group of people that would spit in all of our faces. I was worried for your safety in Arizona. Just the way we like it. I'm going to cheat in the All-Star game. Yes. Tell you guys that right now. And it's not cheating if you say it.

Right. Oh, of course. Have you guys thought about cheating? Yeah. I haven't. In what? The dozen? Yeah.

All right, so I've thought about it, but the payoff would be so stupid because if you ever got caught, you are the lamest person in the world. Yeah. I know. And lying about it makes you so much more lame. We should do,

Jeff should do like a... Open book? Yeah, no, yeah, like a cheater's tournament. It is so lame, but when you're in that moment, you think there is nothing better and more appealing

than getting that question right. Right. But that's just not, that's like having dog brain where you're like, these 15 seconds rule, not realizing if anyone figures out you cheated, they'd be like, you would become probably what like actual cheaters wind up like that. That's the dog brain that catches like real life, like sexual cheating. They overeat snacks. They overindulge.

Right. Exactly. And then they're like, oh, my tummy hurts. Oh, a bunch of people online figured out I was cheating. This sucks. Yeah, we should do a cheaters tournament where it's like the rule is you can cheat, but if anyone can figure out exactly how you're cheating, you're eliminated. Yeah.

That'd be fun. That's genius. Or like just open book tests and the answer time is like way shorter. Like speed doesn't. So you can like try and look it up and like they're nuanced answers. It would be cool too if Jeff did what KB used to do where he was trying to entrap liquor stores when he was underage. If we had like a planned cheater to see if keep the dozen trivia fans on their toes. Yeah.

Mole? Yeah yeah he had jeff before the match was like you're gonna cheat to see if they can catch it wow that's genius that's actually the excuse i'll use you're the planted cheater yeah like no actually this was all part of a bit yeah read the script one time dude the script for the tournament is insane. I'm excited. Insane. I have to memorize my lines. You got it, though. There's enough room to riff. What part is going to be?

Placido Polanco. Yeah, you're good. How'd that go? That was good. All right, nice. I mean, it was a little rushed. You were supposed to do that with three seconds left. That would be sick if he did script it.

Yeah, it would. That absolute demon. Why don't we script it? Why don't we make it the best it could possibly be? Twists and turns. Crazy comebacks. Brandon getting like a Mississippi State football question wrong.

Some people have too much pride. Yeah. Do you think you guys could pull off a fully scripted episode without people figuring it out right away? Do you think everybody could act natural enough? No. I don't think so. No chance.

I'd be interested to see it. I feel like that could be fun. No chance. A lot of bad actors in here. Yeah. No chance. Steven might be able to. I would give it away in the first round.

Yeah, probably, actually. If you did do that, just never tell me. What's up with you? You're on your purple shit. Yeah. You're doing the King's colors? Yeah, you wore purple yesterday, too. Purple's...

Hey, Monday. Monday. That's the data color. Trust the data. That is brand color. You're on your purple shit. What's up? I like purple.

It's your purple rain? The name Trust the data. It is. It is the data color. And you're purple shit. What's up? I like purple. It's your purple rain? The name of the smoothie I famously invented. I like purple. They could only make purple ink by crushing oysters or clams, right? That's why it was rich people. Planet Fitness does it. Well, back in the month. Yeah, you're right.

I thought it was purple because all the royal family had hemophilia. Oh. Probably. They'd just bump into a coffee table and had hemophilia. Oh, maybe. They'd just bump into a coffee table and be like, oh, royalty. I'll be dead in a day. Matches my bruises. Yeah.

I saw that Tilda Swinton can trace her fucking, the actress, can trace her lineage back to like fucking 1,700 years ago or something like that. Like she is like so British that she's like locked in with the aristocracy to like one of the top like the three families of England.

Which makes sense because she looks a little weird. She does look weird. She does look a little weird. Can you pull her up? I don't know who. I can't place that. Hilda Swinton.

Hilda Swinson? Swint? Hilda Swinton. Hilda Swinton. Is she in a lot of Wes Anderson? Maybe. Wes Anderson dropped a new trailer. I know, I'm excited.

Me too. Yeah, it looks really good. Looks whimsy as hell. Oh, yeah, she is very. You can't just tell her that she's been in the. Oh, she's very British. Very British. Holy shit.

How do you avoid hemophilia, though, I wonder? What's hemophilia? It's a bruising disease. Oh, you bruise super easy. They all fucked each other. And yeah, literally you'd stub your toe and be dead. Oh. Internal bleeding, right?

Happened to the Russians, too. It was so easy to die back then. It was. No, there was less diseases back then. Oh, you're right. Sass would have died at a very young age. I think I would have been a cobbler. Yeah?

Yeah. Pie maker? Oh. Yeah, I think I'd haberdash. You think you'd have a haberdashery? I think so. Yeah, probably. KB, how about you?

Bustermonger. That's true. Sell some gourds. I think I'd be like a sea captain's wife. I was really good at making stews yeah you would what would you do when your husband was away for like 12 years at a time

I'd be up in the little watchtower on top of our house waiting looking for him always looking making stews you'd make rope I think I'd just be like the saddest strong man I'm not very strong but back in the day I would have been a behemoth. Yeah, you would have been big.

Yeah, people would have been like, look at this guy. It's Big Cat from Yorkshire. You don't know about him? And then I'd just be like, don't ask me to pick up this rock because I'm not that strong. Lifting the dumbbells with a round. Yeah. You must be the strongest man, you know, this side of the teams. I'd be like, no, actually, my core strength's pretty bad.

Legs are kind of skinny, so I think I'm strong. How did they weigh things back in the day? How did scales? Stone? Yeah, I guess. Stone, right? Stupid question. Just displacement.

Yeah. Like original barbells, how were they making sure, how were they calibrating to know how much an old barbell weighed when it was like the big round ones? Oh, yeah. How did they know how much anything weighed? Isn't it weird to think about like 40 years ago, there just weren't gyms everywhere? Crazy. People weren't jogging.

Yeah. They were just living their life, not being like, oh, got to go to the gym. When did people start jogging? When the suburbs started popping up in upstate New York. They've been doing the Olympics forever. And running marathons is always part of it, right? Yeah, that part. But I'm saying the recreational gyms.

Just neighborhood jogging. You wouldn't see it in medieval. Do you know what happened in the 1904 Olympiclympic marathon no i'm about to find out i think like two people finished everyone was like getting rat poisoned and uh dive rat poison something like that i wonder what kind of shoes they were rocking with they were definitely trash oh yeah oh i had like a big buckle on them or something. Pilgrim shoes. Horse shoes.

When did the first gym, TJ? Look that up. Recreational gym. How old are gyms? I bet you there was one in Rome. I bet you there was one in ancient Rome. Like gladiators had to get buff. No, but I'm saying like, oh, wait for breaking news.

Oh, there he is hank what's up you ready to get wet yeah i guess is brandon there no damn he took the 14k and went and bought a house. Sad. We want a little tour, though. A tour of what? Your apartment. I'll give you my office. Do you have a photo wall? I condensed my photo wall. Rowan came to my apartment and looked at it and I didn't like his reaction, so

I shrugged my front I what was his reaction he already brought it up he was just like oh this is nice that's fucked up that's bullshit I was like this is dope as fuck I like spent minutes and minutes looking at it while you like uh I guess I split my screen look at that well I was already in my own head because it was like I had other uh guests come over and be like that's a lot of pictures and I was already in my own head because I had other guests come over and be like, that's a lot of pictures. And I was like, shit, maybe it's too many. So I shrunk it. I put it on a different wall. How do I switch?

There it is. It was bigger than that. Whoa. It used to be a lot bigger. What? Yeah. Can we see some of these? Am I on it?

Definitely. Definitely. Let me see. That was God's air. Billions of them. That got billions of my favorites j-lo a-rod oh yeah smelled so nice that day oh there it is that's all titties me and uh guy that's not you wedding that's not that's not you and Guy. Yeah, no, that's Dave and Guy. Me and Guy. Me and Guy.

Me and the fucking goats. Pedro and David Ortiz. Biz sleeping. Yeah. Oh, this is nice. I told you this is cool as fuck. Why didn't you like this, Roan? I liked it.

Hank, fuck you, you dude i was so complimentary i over complimented that's that's your thing though it's how the cat comes off bro wow bill walton oh it was too nice uh yeah this is this is the this is the office the gambling setup oh nice where i do my meetings peloton what is the is that like an outdoor like uh nightstand or like coffee table what is that that's definitely outdoor furniture i think it's outdoor for a rolling table bun rolling table that was like you know target didn't have any indoor ones but i needed a table yeah is that mesh that looks like yeah metal yeah that's metal yeah that's nice that'll last you a long time you need a table. Is that mesh? That looks like, yeah. Metal?

Yeah. That's metal. That's nice. That'll last you a long time. You need a hot dog on that after you finish nine holes. Yeah. I mean, it's a fucking man cave. Okay. You ready to get wet?

Yeah. Yeah. Nice rugs. Yeah. Fully clothed. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How many? Come on.

You can't pass through that thing without – No. Come on. Come on. Wide grip. All right. Come on, wide grip, bro. Here we go.

Oh. All right. I honestly – yeah, all right. How many? What's good? 10, 15, 20. Oh, narrow. Five.

20. Go until you can't. One. Looks like Marjorie. Two. I agree. I know. It'd be so awesome if his ceiling came down right now.

Oh. Hank. Oh, Hank. Six. Hank. Seven. Hank. Eight.

Nine. Ten. Let's go One more One for Chesty Here we go You earned your shower now It's going to be cold, though. I can't let it heat up.

Yeah, right. That's the point. Can I let it heat up? No. This is actually way better than if you did it in the office. This is going to be freezing. Joe Rogan style. Oh.

All right. Oh. In the face. This is good. Get the shoulders. Get the shoulders. Get the shoulders. Get your shoulders now, Hank.

Get it down your shirt. He's just wrecking his face. He's getting the face. You missed a spot on the face. That's pretty wet. That's a good amount of wet. Did he just fall? I turned on the cold.

Give us a spin. Oh, yes. Nice. Crushed that. Crushed. I feel like Joe Rogan. Yeah. Out of the ice bath.

That's what I said. Am I good? Yeah, you're good. Thanks, Hank. We'll see you later. Yeah. Yeah, that felt good. What if he accidentally stayed on and started jerking off?

Stripped. Would we say anything? I just like that he automatically assumed he couldn't get the water hot. It's got to be cold. And we're like, yeah, it's got to be cold. He just said, yeah, no, it has to be hot. Or it has to be cold. High Noon, by the way.

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And I mean big. 700 millimeters of liquid. Milliliters, and that's peach, that's pineapple that they got. Of course, I'm naturally a grapefruit guy, but a little bit of pineapple, I don't think ever hurt anybody. In fact, I think it will enhance your day, but you try it out, and you let me know. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. Full-time flavors. Pineapple, like I said. Black cherry, fan favorite. Watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, lemon, pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack. Kiwi and guava in the pool pack.

Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store. Or visit highnoonspears.com to find it near you. High Noon. Delicious. It's delicious. I'll tell you that much. High noon. Delicious. It's delicious. I'll tell you that much. It is. You think I over compliment people?

Sometimes. What? Sometimes. Does that bother you? No. That's a good thing to have. No, it's not bad, but sometimes I'm like, oh, that may have been joking

and he may be meaning the opposite of what he said. Oh. You're false complimenting people. I don't know. I meant every word that I said to him about his nice wall. I think that other people will do good walls because he...

I think his mistake was shrinking it. It should have made it bigger. Yeah. Yeah, always got to go bigger with the photo wall. There's great memories on there. Yeah, every time you zoom in, there's some sweet-ass fucking memories on there. I love memories. Memories rock.

Some of them. Yeah, I hate bad memories. Right. Love good ones. I love bad memories. What? I love getting in my notes app and like going through my worst moments of each year

and it just it's something about it it's therapeutic. Good spiral. Think about how bad that was and how good everything is now. You have those

in your notes app? Yeah best and worst. Bad memories are good. You're a pretty sound guy. But what about bad memories when they're like just happened? They're the worst yeah

you got Steven the sweet isn't as sweet without the sour that's true you always do say that I do if they don't swish or anything

if you don't have haters you don't have fans also true fuck the haters until except for when you are hating on someone. That's true. Then it feels nice.

God damn it, I do like to hate. That does. You kind of got me on that one. There's a little bit of hate in your heart. Yeah. Everybody does it. There's a tiny bit of hate. You'll find out, though, what that hate is coming from.

Mean girl style. I listened to some of their podcasts after you mentioned it ron they really did play that perfectly oh yeah it's becoming the victims oh yeah oh man genius just chef's kiss flipping everyone they have other funny clips too and when you get to appreciate them for being funny they're great i found there was one where they were like trying to think of an italian last name or something oh yeah i saw that see it and they're like hargrave or something like yeah jordan i think was like oh yeah i think jordan said like woodruff is italian yeah and alex was like no it's not hargrave it was something along those lines like sheffield or something like that.

We've got to find the clip because I was looking so hard for it. I couldn't find it. I was gifted it on my algo, and then I tried to go back and re-find it. I couldn't. We've got to find this. Yeah. Teen girls talking Italian names. They almost got it.

So close. It's great. If you look at it as entertaining, it's entertaining. That's what everything should be like. Perspective, man. Right, like what? Put on some perspective. It's at a missing mystery cup Friday.

You're not going to have a fucking clue what's in the cup. Damn it. Who's here for that? One, two, three, four. Oh, Friday? No, I'm out. You're out Friday? I could use you Friday as well, Ron.

Okay. Use me up. I'm here Thursday, Friday, possibly Monday, Tuesday. I think I'm the only person in that can host a gambling-centric show before this. That's not what it's called.

Oh, Nick Central. Yeah! I love gambling. I just started gambling. Yeah? I've won twice over the weekend. What? I'm up like $375 on the Barstool Sportsbook app.

I did San Diego to win. Yeah. And then I did another team that wasn't supposed to win that won. I forget. I got to look at that. Look at that. Just pick the teams that weren't supposed to win that are going to win. Well, I wait until the game starts and is a few minutes in,

and then I go with my feeling. Oh. And it's been working. What if Kate is a savant? Yeah. Sounds like she is. Yeah. And it's been working. What if Kate is a savant? Yeah. Sounds like she is. Yeah. 2-0.

It's in here somewhere. Probably the signs. Like you went to Marine, you were in San Diego for basic training. If you just do the opposite of what everyone thinks is going to happen,

it usually works out well. I had Florida Atlantic winning. Okay. And I had San Diego State beating Alabama. Oh. Put 50 bucks on that. What? How? Made 22 winning. Okay. And I had San Diego State beating Alabama. Oh. Put 50 bucks on that. What?

Wow. Made 225. Yeah. Oh. Just saying. That's a big upset. Not too shabby. No.

That's good. Where'd you get that ding dong? Fuck, bro. I've been stashing ding dongs over here. Just buy me. I haven't had a ding dong in a while. And they're so fucking good. So good.

The face you made was pure bliss. Yeah, it came. It was just so nice. These tasty cakes. Tasty cakes are so fucking good. Peanut butter ones are the best. Nutty bars? The peanut butter?

Nutter Butters? No, not Nutter Butters. Nutty Buddies. It's a Little Debbie. No, what's the sticks? The little Debbie. Yeah. Yeah.

With the wafer? Those are elite. Wafer is my favorite food. Star Crunch? Cosmic Brownie. Cosmic Brownie. I say Star Crunch beats Cosmic Brownie. How do they make Cosmic Brownie so good?

Like, I've had so many bad brownies. Cosmic Brownies are just amazing. So moist. Yeah. And the perfect chocolate level You ever have a dry brownie? Just ruins your day Bad memory

I put that in my notes Had a dry brownie today Never again And then I'll just do it again What are you about to say? No to brownies maybe? No to brownies, maybe? No to brownies? When they're, like, burnt and hard, I like them.

Yeah, it's cookies. Cookies are the best. Cookies over everything. I think cookies are the best. Oh, I do have a correction to make. I'm very dumb. My wife pointed out to me, because she sometimes watches the act, she said that when Kate said she puts milk on her ice cream,

that's a milkshake. And I was like, well, when you put it like that, you're probably right. I didn't think about that. Not at all. It's a milkshake. I was like, holy fuck, that is a milkshake. That's literally just a milkshake.

Thick milkshake. And I love milkshakes. Yeah, you do. So. Unblended, so it's the vessel kind of. It's a deconstruct a milkshake Thick milkshake And I love milkshakes Yeah you do So Unblended So it's the vessel kind of It's a deconstructed milkshake Yeah And I heard from a ton of people

Who are milk pourers on their ice cream Well I apologize Because I didn't If you had said Thank you I make at home milkshakes I would have been like I'm in

Well the thing is I don't super swirl it though Like it's It's sitting in there like cereal. It's like a milk moat. But then the outside of the ice cream gets that milkshake consistency, and I kind of keep doing it like that. Okay.

You make like an island in the center. I'm an idiot. Yeah, and then the milk gets better and better as you... Erosion. Yeah, it's erosion. Eating milk with a spoon does sound... It feels like we're past that as a society, though. You know what I mean?

Cereal. I know, but that's not the main vessel. Like, if there wasn't the flakes in the bowl, we wouldn't just be having a spooned, souped milk. Huh. But, Kate, you snack different, and I appreciate it. I feel like you're innovative. You're the Marjorie Taylor Greene of snacking. Thank you.

Curious about it. You definitely are. You're curious Marjorie Taylor Greene of snacking. Curious about it. You definitely are. You're curious about snacking. Very curious about snacking. Reese's Puffs on a PB&J ever? Yeah, I've done that. Of course. Of course you have.

I actually like sour cream and onion crinkle cut chips on my PB&J. No. I know. I bet it's good. No. I bet it's good. It's good. I'm telling you.

You lost me. Try it. The sour cream and onion doesn't overpower anything in there. It's like a light enough flavor that it's good. No. I bet it's good. It's good. I'm telling you. You lost me. Try it. Because I bet the sour cream and onion doesn't overpower anything in there. It's like a light enough flavor that it's more the texture. Yeah. Gives you a little something. Goes with the peanut butter. Where the hell are you going to be on Friday?

A wedding. Where? Wheeling. Yikes, Nick. Nick. Yikes, Nick. Nick. Yikes, bud. Nick, what happened? No bueno.

What happened? I didn't get the invite. Do you know this person? Hey, Pete. What was the source of the fallout, boy? Talk in the mic. People are saying you're pro-tornado. I think you're misrepresenting the situation Okay, well, I just want to let you know

You started $1,000, I said that's absurd These poor people in Mississippi Pro-tornado, alright, cut his mic Alright, Nick, whose wedding is it? Shelton Didn't go as well as I thought it would go Pete Frickin' gingham style over here

Chad is firmly anti-Pete. Yeah, he's pro-tornado. Shelton. Shelton's. And you didn't get invited to his wedding? No. What do you want me to do? In a good word? Plus one? Yeah, you can be your plus one. Just maybe shoot off a text

being like, hey, Nick was wondering. Or put Nick on the group chat and make everybody else uncomfortable. Hey, you know I work with Nick. Or like, what, Nick was wondering. Or put Nick on the group chat and make everybody else uncomfortable. Hey, you know I work with Nick. Or like, what time are we meeting up on Thursday night? And Nick's in the group chat. Yeah. They all have to acknowledge it.

Just be like, hey, dude, just need the quick itinerary for this weekend so that we're all on the same page. Got it. Then Nick, you reply, thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I should be invited to this wedding you should be this is my first wet uh summer since my early 20s when i have no wedding best freedom ever i kind of miss it yeah i miss i miss like the bad obligations i was like damn i haven't had to do some shit that i didn't want to do in a little bit. I have like two vow renewals, but that's it.

You have people, friends old enough that are doing vow renewals? Like how long have they been married? You got to go to that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. People get really touchy about vow renewals. How long? I'm the best man of a vow renewal.

I mean, you don't have to do that, right? I'm the best man. You don't have to get your vow. It's automatic. Yeah, they don't carry over. They expire, but I think they just do. You don't have to get your valet. It's automatic. Yeah, they don't think they expire, but I think they just do. Oh, they do. They have an expiration date. No kidding.

Nope. Not mine. Life. Yeah, no, I think, see, Rowan, I disagree. I guess maybe it's because those two or three years that just crush your summer, where it's like bachelor party, wedding. It's been seven straight years of my summer getting crushed. You have none this year?

I've had like no fewer than four, and now I have zero. So maybe not going straight to zero. Like if you had one, it'd be nice. One would be nice, but like I was at nine some summers. Holy fuck. And now it's- You've got too many friends, bro. I'm not even really friends, honestly.

I just stopped going to them. Yeah. I can't. I can't, honestly. I just stopped going to them. Yeah. I can't. I can't do that. I gotta go. Are you like the life of the party? Do you get the dance flow going? I get out on the dance flow, but I'm not really like the center of the dance flow.

But I'll be strength of numbers out there. Okay. I'm not going to be like jumping in the middle doing like the fucking worm or some shit. That's like the least human I ever feel when the dance floor starts getting popping. Yeah. I just can't do it.

I can't even You gotta make a choice right then and there. I can't even pretend to do it. That goes against the picture. I see all the normal people they look fine not even like

they're not even doing anything embarrassing and I just can't do that. Yeah. You gotta get really drunk. I can't do that anymore. Was that high school that photo of you on the dance floor where you're like crushing it? 120 weeks ago.

Yeah, I don't know what that role was in. Yeah, Kyle, you're not really dancing. Yeah, are you sure? Oh, yeah, you're just a total introvert. What song was that? I am an introvert. Johnny B. Goode? It was the...

He looks like a rock star. He looks like inside, though. He's like, I feel so in you. It was one with two guitars. Yeah, you could see it. Two guitars right there. There's both of you guys rocking out. I'm so dead inside. Two guitars. Kyle, that's so unlike you, man.

I know. Right. That was... It's in there, bro. I disagree. I think it's in there, and you're fucking building this fucking case around it that we need to chip away. And that was when I was so sober and socially uncomfortable that I would like overcompensate by pretending to be a wacko.

No middle ground. Yeah. No middle ground. Sometimes it's probably a release for people who feel a little bit of the pressure. Yeah. Did you guys see speaking speaking of weddings and events, did you see Ty Lue's clip? He's the coach of the Clippers.

He said that he had seven people in his life die in the last year, and he missed all their funerals. Yeah. What? What a weird thing to put out there. It was a flex, yeah. Yeah, he was like, I'm built different. Did you find that clip, TJ?

It would almost be more understandable if they all died in the same event. Yeah, maybe that did happen. Maybe that's what the plane crashed. It was a boat sink. Yeah. What a weird thing to be like, see me? I've had to miss funerals before, and it makes you feel terrible. Yeah.

You know what it is? I've missed funerals as well. It's not even makes you feel terrible. It actually does feel like you never had like closure closure right you never had the finale of like okay this person is is dead 100% the game too much and so my thing is like just giving the game back what the game was giving you and so respect for the game put your work in every single day don't cheat the game don't cheat the process and things will work out. The last thing

is just being a good person. It don't hurt to be a good person. No matter how many tough days you have. We all have bad days, but you can always be a good person. Sometimes it can be to a fault. Since December, I lost seven family members from Mexico.

We lost six games in a row. Wouldn't it be crazy if he's a serial killer? I can't leave my team behind. And I know I should be there for my family. It's been a tough time because my family wanted me there. And we're going through some tough times right now. But people don't even know this, but like seven family members since December. And I ain't go to one funeral because we lost five games in a row.

I can take the easy way out. Yeah, that's not like an indulgence to go to a funeral. Yeah. Not a vacation. Sometimes you can get a easy way out. Yeah, that's not like an indulgence to go to a funeral. Not a vacation. Sometimes you can get a game too much. You know, sometimes you can get a game too much where, like, family and stuff, like, real life stuff matters. It's important.

But I'll just build different. Like, we don't want that. That is the opposite of how you should think. Very 10X. Built different way the wrong way. Yeah, seven funerals. If I was a family member of his talking shit, too, and I'd be like,

and the Clippers are on a fucking losing streak anyway. What does it matter to him? They could have used you. Yeah, yeah. At least you can do it if you're going to miss a funeral. It's a win. Yeah. When I watch basketball,

I can't help but think the coach serves little to no purpose. No, I think it's... I don't know anything about the sport. Yeah, it depends on the level. I think NBA coaches are not doing as much. I think it's harder to see a play develop in basketball than in football because a play starts in football from a dead stop, and basketball looks so fluid. You can't see, like, is this a play?

Is this by design or is this just them hooping, just drawing stuff up in the dirt? But I think a basketball coach, a lot of it is just getting guys to play together. You know what I mean? Figuring out a way to get everyone's ego checked and play together. Managing personalities.

Right, whereas in football, it's more of a, it's, I guess it would be, not democracy, it'd be like capitalism. Like if you're really good, like you're out there, I don't know. It's like a CEO. I'll do a bad job of explaining. People say like a football coach is a CEO type of thing. Yeah, but they're calling more, yeah, they have more to do with the game plan. I mean, basketball coaches definitely call plays and sets and everything but yeah i think getting them yeah it seems like team camaraderie

is like more important than anything it definitely you can tell when teams are not like when teams are playing together like that's why the warriors even though they won all those titles like and a lot of people hate i loved watching them because they played together so well but like they knew where each other were at every moment. The four major sports, what team could make the playoffs without a head coach? Ice hockey. I'd say baseball.

Baseball, I bet. Baseball, they're just really going out there. Baseball or hockey. Petra calls the pitches. You know what I mean? They have coaches on every base. They have like a million coaches, right? What is the first base coach doing?

Those are like no-show jobs. Really? The first base coach is just a fat guy putting on tight pants. Yeah, we could see an old man in a baseball uniform. If I had to be a coach, I'd be that one, I think.

When the Mavericks won the title against the Heat, the play they ran the most was something called flow and there was no play. It was just guys doing what they were most comfortable with

with their designated top of the court. Coming to the basket, yeah. But I do think basketball coaches actually do a lot. No, they do do a lot. If you could be a pro coach of any of the four sports, baseball, football, football would be sweet.

Football seems like so much work. So much stress. That seems like the hardest of all the coaching jobs. Sitting on a bench in the summer, just being with the boys. Chewing tobacco. If my pitcher's pitching well, I don't have to make a decision for at least two hours. I hate being bored.

That shit sounds boring as hell. You got sunflower seeds. Yeah. I can't chew them right now. And bubble gum. Yeah. I can't separate the sunflower seed and my... Oh, no.

Football, there's only 17 distilled games. Fucking high pressure. All meaningful. And then you're down 17 in the first quarter. And, yeah, I have to stand here for two hours and... Spit, chew out a ref, chew people out. Probably the number one chewing out sport. And you're just studying draft prospects.

Guys like me and Che do that for free, bro. You get, like, every move is micromanaged baseball. No one. They don't care. 162 games. If you lose like a few baseball games, like yeah, it's a long season. And like if a guy can't hit, he's like doing too much a lot of the time. It's his fault.

Yeah, like oh, you're doing too much, man. Do a little bit less up there. Yeah, you have a pitching coach. I mean a hitting coach. Like he's got to figure it out. And then also, I always love baseball. Like, you'd watch and the baseball manager has like one or two guys sitting next to him. That's just kind of like your...

His boys. Yeah. You're like, what should I do here? Bench manager. Yeah. What's that guy doing? That might be my job. Bench manager.

Bench manager. Yeah. It's vibes. To keep the boys loose. I'm too much of a pushover though to like go up to the mound just give me the ball yeah i wouldn't be able to send the pitching coach out oh can you send the pitch yeah yeah it's the time it is a pitching coach not all the time but that's like breaking up with someone sometimes it's not yeah actually no when

the manager goes and gets the the ball the pitching coach goes out and gives tips but i don't want to go out of the game. Yeah. I mean, there's been many times where a pitcher will be like, don't take me out. Have it out. Yeah. It's baseball. That was our baseball preview.

Yeah. Opening day is coming up. Yeah, tomorrow. So that was our baseball preview. Good job, guys. Oh, wow. We're going to get hot dogs. You guys are just going to bat 260, and that's just how it is.

And they might be good, and they might be bad. Maybe not, Kyle. The superstar is either going to bat 280 or 290. Maybe not, Kyle, with the ban of the shift. Oh, really? Adding averages might go back up. I would like that. Adding averages might go back up.

Steals might go back up or will go back up. Power hitters who aren't hitting home runs will be getting more hits. Nice. The pitch clock. Pitch clock is dope. People are concerned about concessions now. Oh. That sounds like a personal concern.

It is. It is a personal concern. People are really wondering if they'll get back. How many dollar dogs they can muscle down. How many beers you have to get there earlier. I used to go to Madison Mallards games, which they're like unaffiliated summer league, and it was $25 all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink,

and they'd open two hours before the first pitch. My God. Awesome. Two hours before the first. That's how baseball was meant to play. Did you ever just not go to the game? No, you just sit there and just drink and eat. Two hours and then you just leave.

How great is the game start? It'd be like good beer too. You got to get out of here before baseball starts. Yeah. What's the conversation like saying like, hey, we should go to a minor league game like coming up soon? I think it's that deal. Just like that? I think it's deals like that, like bobblehead or let your kids run the bases.

Yeah, someone just gets to play. It just gets you in. We should actually be that for a minor league team. I would love to be the wacky ideas person. Yeah, right. What do you got, TJ? I can hook that up. What do you mean?

I know the GM of the Trent Thunder. Well, let's get him on the phone. Okay. Trenton, what's going on in that fucking city? Not much. Take, let's get them on the phone. Okay. Trenton. What's going on in that fucking city? Not much. That city is... Take, take, take. What a lousy city.

No, they make. Trenton makes the world take. Yeah, Trenton makes the world take. Trenton makes the world take. So the world's just robbing from Trenton? Yes. Yes. They're manufacturing heavy.

That's where you cross over on the train on the way to... If you're going from Philly to New York, the cheap way. Cross into PA. Cheap way. Great sculpture garden there. Hit the Morgan & Morgan. I'll do the last one. I got you. Morgan & Morgan, if you've been injured in an accident,

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Morgan & Morgan. Great guys. Great ad campaigns. Great guys. We had one of the Morgans. I think it's me, second generation Morgan, come in and he watched football with us one Sunday. Great dude. Nice.

Great guys. Great dude. Just tell us, like, that's the type of guy I would trust if I needed an injury law firm. Which here you might. You never know. Totally. Tank falls from the ceiling. You never know. Totally. Hank falls from the ceiling. Totally.

Just us on Nick Central? Friday, I think, yeah. There's Marty Mush. Ebo came up and just said there's nobody to go on, so I don't know. Can I come on? Let's just start the

Mystery Juice and the Yak. It's a fucking savant. Start early. Give your picks out. I don't know. Can I come on? Let's just start the mystery juice. It's a fucking savant. Start early. Give your picks out. Steven? I'll have some NCAA props. Steven, you got some volume with your hair today. Yeah, I need a haircut.

I might get one today. Oh, look at you. Gotta try the sea salt spray, bro. Got a date tonight. Oh, with who? It's the guy's name. It's her birthday tomorrow. Oh, bro. Got a date tonight. Oh. Whoa. With who? It's the guy's name. It's her birthday tomorrow. Oh, yeah.

Happy birthday. Where are you going? Some French place. Oh. Ha, ha, ha. Sardin? Ha, ha, ha. Happy fromage.

Ha, ha. You won't break the Brad record. No, probably not. Dude, my boy is going there today. The same guy that ruined Francis' party. Is he going to try to break the record? Oh, that guy? Yes. Yeah. And so he's the kind of guy. Dude, my boy is going there today. The same guy that ruined Francis' party. Is he going to try to break the record? Oh, that guy? Yes.

Yeah. And so he's the kind of guy. Oh, no. I told him. I mean, I sent him the record. He's going with his, he's from Rockaway Beach, and he's going with his in-laws, and they want to start pre-gaming at 2 for a 7 o'clock reservation at a French restaurant. Oh, my God.

What the hell are they thinking? He might break the record. Like it's a fucking minor league baseball game. Free gaming at 2 for a fucking... Go to a Ted Nugent concert. Yeah, a fucking French restaurant. A Michelin star restaurant. They're going to have to soak up all that booze.

Yeah, Kate, these are your ilk. People from the Rockaways are built different. Facts. They really are. They miss funerals? What's that? Well, they definitely have a lot to go to. Their funerals are built different. Facts. They really are. Missed funerals? What's that? Well, they definitely have a lot to go to. Their funerals are a hoot, though.

The wakes. They get shit-faced for weeks. Maybe that's Tyloo's family's fault. They don't have good funerals. Honestly, if they were in the Rockaways, they'd be getting litty again. Certainly would. It's a different world down there. They're fighting at eight years old. They're scrapping, fighting at eight years old. They're, like, scrapping, but, like, pointing people,

like, scrapping and, like, using their hands to, like, cut people up with, like, just precision. It's fucking sick. I had friends from the Rockaways. The guys had all these big, deep scars on their knuckles, and I'm like, what's that from? They're like, oh, we used to play this game in, like, middle school and high school where they flicked the quarters

at each other. That was fun. But they would do it so hard. They all had permanent scott. Holy shit. You couldn't stop until somebody was bleeding. I was like, that sounds fun. I like that.

Yeah. It's a different vibe. It's sick out there. Yeah. Great beaches. Easy, rock away. And they're protective of their beaches. Yes, they are.

You can't park in town during the week. There's no parking unless you have a permit. So you either need to know someone so you can park in their driveway, or you just can't go there. It's fucking exclusive. I like it. Very exclusive. That one by LaGuardia?

No. No, that's all the way out. I used to have an in at Breezy Point. Did you? I used to have the coveted car stationer. A car can't even get in. Like, you can't. And then I got divorced and I lost my car.

Great beach. Gotta get out to Rockaway. There's a topless beach out there. Actually, they just opened a hotel, the Rockaway Hotel. It looks really fun. It's very nice. It's an hour and five minutes to drive there. It's low-key far away.

Yeah, every summer. It's by JFK. I would get them work, and I used to take the subway there, and it would take me like two and a half hours to get. That's a different world. Taking the subway is crazy. I was on the subway during a teen roast sesh. It's brutal in New York.

They are worse than the 70s. They were roasting each other's yellow teeth and making everyone smile and taking pictures and pointing out oral flaws. You could see them breaking inside, but they were both giving it back, remaining tough.

I got a fit roasted on the train by some teens. That's way scarier when they go out of the group and they just pick someone up, pick a stranger out. Yeah. I got destroyed. Oh. I got destroyed. What were you wearing?

It was nothing of note. Probably your problem. I'll never wear it again. During fashion week, too too so I think they were you know they were dressed up nice not even nice they look ridiculous

but apparently that's good yeah yeah damn sometimes that fashion does feel like you gotta just dress

ugly as fuck and it's like oh that's fashionable like creatively ugly that's what NBA players do. Yeah. Good game tonight, Roan. I know.

Need a Bulls win. They play the Lakers again. Oh. LeBron and them again in Chicago. You think LeBron's going to take it personal? I think so. I don't know. He was in Atlanta or Houston last night.

Yeah, for the McDonald's All-American game. Did you guys watch that? No. A little. Bronny kind of was like, he like hit, they were down two with like 90 seconds left, and they kicked it to Bronny. He like splashed it or rattled in a three from the corner. Like a go-ahead three.

It was a very close game. But he did what he was supposed to do. He might be good. Damn. I'm out on basketball. three. It was a very close game. But he did what he was supposed to do. He might be good. I'm out on basketball. Then LeBron was with fucking a million dollars worth of game. I saw that. Wisconsin played the NIT semifinal last night.

Oh yeah, that sucks. How many points did they score in the second half? Wisconsin? Wisconsin? 30s? In the 30s scored 13 points in the second didn't score for nine minutes great the last possession

they were down two and they just passed the ball until the time expired it was brutal they gave up yeah pretty much like they were just like playing hot potato under the basket. Damn, that's so frustrating. Scored like 40 in the first half too.

Brutal. That sucks. Look at that. Look at LeBron. Like a video. Were they with Antonio Brown too? Oh. You're thinking of the mayor of New York.

Yeah, that's right. You're thinking of Eric Adams with Antonio Brown. Yeah, that's right. You're thinking of Eric Adams with Antonio Brown. Yeah, that's right. Which is also weird. It is. It is. Yeah, it was like a video of Wallow asking LeBron to play him in basketball one-on-one. Wallow would cook him.

Yeah, he would. It would be close. No. 11-2. He said that he could play against Bronny and Bryce. It's funny. That's so awesome if they're both really good at basketball too. Gilly is.

No. Bronny and Bryce I'm saying. I thought you meant Gilly. Kind of rules. Yeah. I didn't go. No, no, Bron. I just, you know.

We'll be checking out, me and you. You don't want that. You don't and you. You don't want that. You don't want that. You don't want that. I'm going to try and send it. You don't want that. You don't want that. You don't want it with Bryce.

I'm just saying, like, we got to figure something out, though. We got Bronny and Bryce for you. Ha ha. That laugh afterwards. Charming. LeBron saw the LeBron of foot doctors. Yeah, that was hilarious. What a funny way to put it. I just hope he never

gets self-aware. He was like, yeah, I saw LeBron. I went to two doctors. They told me not to play. And I saw LeBron of foot doctors. He said, play. What do you think he's going to do? I don't think he ever will be aware. Too late.

They asked me if he's going to get surgery. think everyone Will be aware Oh Too late Oh he also said Like they asked me If he's gonna get surgery He's like If I get surgery You won't know Cause I don't talk to y'all In the off season

It's like If he gets surgery He's gonna post it Instantly Yeah He's gonna be posting Like him rapping In his backyard

With a boot on Just laughing With a net on his head Yeah he's like That's your surgery there. LeBron is funny, though. I have started to think he's very funny. Remember when he had a pretty much broken hand?

Did he say that? Yeah, when he lost the war. It was the famous J.R. Smith getting the rebound going the wrong way. He punched a wall, and he put on a little tiny baby cast. He's like, they told me I have a pretty much broken hand. Any doctor who watches the act knows that's exactly how the diagnosis works. Pretty much broken. Pretty much broken.

Pretty much broken. It's pretty much broken. Can I play? Yeah, you have to. It's pretty much broken. What do you guys think, you have to. It's pretty much broken. What do you guys think he's going to do when he's done playing basketball? LeBron. Run for president?

I think it is going to be some shit like that. Yeah. I think he's going to be completely obsessive over his son's career. Which that's what I'm saying. It's very cool that he could potentially not only have an insane career, but then get to live vicariously through his sons to do the same thing. I think that's when he's going to start going

really manic and crazy. When his sons start hitting adversity. I just want to get dramatic Hollywood roles. Oh. Really? Not even a side character in a rom-com? No, no, no, no. Been done.

You could go the shack route and start a bunch of little businesses. Season 5 of You? Yeah, he's the... He's the stalker in You. I saw an AI of him being the bassist in a rock band and it looked sick. I watched the TikTok like 30

times. Steph was on the guitar. Harden was on the drums. And they all look so cool. Like the best band ever. Who else? Giannis was the vocals. Really? Stacked.

What are you doing, Steven? Just staying funny. Doing some dips? No, I don't think. That would be pretty unsafe. I'm just stretching out my... You might as well try a dip. On these?

Yeah. I mean, they're both going to cave. No, not if you stabilize. Yeah. See? Stabilize. It's going to break these chairs. No.

Just don't let your arms give out. It could hurt your shoulder. Just stretching out the old groin. What are you looking at, TJ? Trying to find the AIN. Oh, I want to see it. I saw it yesterday. You saw it too?

Yeah. I also heard back from him. Where else do you see him in the trend thunder? What did he say? Thanks for thinking of us. We are absolutely in. Let me know how we can make it happen. Okay.

Five-year-old gets beaned. Okay. Yeah. You-year-old gets beaned day. Okay. Yeah. You wouldn't go and watch? And everybody, well, they would sign up their own five-year-olds, and we bean them with different levels of hardness. So it's like someone's getting beaned.

See how hard of a fastball a five-year-old can take. Yeah, some of them are taking koosh balls. Some of them are taking rubber bullets. What other things can we do for the Trenton Thunder? Baseball eating contest. I like that. I like that. I like that.

I should do like freeze tag in the outfield during a live game. Love that. That would be interesting. Or like you could play defense. Like the teams can go play defense. Oh, yeah. A fly ball or some shit, and you could try and smack it out of their hands. Oh, one team gets a gun.

One team gets a gun. Do whatever you want with it. Yeah, it's Trenton. Yeah, one team gets a gun. Yeah. It's five bullets. Don't waste them. A mine somewhere on the field would be cool.

Oh, yeah. Damn, how would you guys use your gun? I'd shoot the ball. Yeah. Really? I would rob a home run. That is good. And then if I missed, I'd shoot the batter.

Yeah, that would be my goal. Shoot their five best players one time each. No body or head shots? Yeah, yeah, leg shots. Legs only. Yeah, calves. Keep playing? Bryce Harper would play through that shit.

Should play a whole game in those stupid red moon boots that are going viral? Oh, the mischief boots. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, the mischief boots. Yeah, that would be cool. Backwards day? Where you run to third base first? Nine hitter in the closer start the game?

Yeah. Kind of dope. Home plate has a shower head over it and you might get wet. Yeah. That's dope. That's very dope. Make a super elderly person be the umpire.

We should just make them play football. Smear them to watch a football game. Oh, the concessions could be a peanut butter jelly draft kind of thing. Like you don't know quite what you're going to get. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The line would just take the longest line. Yeah.

Oh, dog shit day where they just let everyone in Trenton Yeah. The line would just take the longest line. Yeah. Oh, dog shit day, where they just let everyone in Trenton let their dogs take shits on the field before the game. No cleaning. No cleaning. That would be cool. Or, like, no outfield wall day. Oh. You just kind of can mill, like, in and out.

Like, there's, like, very loose. Infield wall day? Infield wall. Everything's a homer. Everything's a homer. Everything's a homer. You should have show your asshole cam on the Jumbotron. You got to show your asshole. It's Trenton.

Bunt day. Everybody has a bunt. Yeah. Yeah. You lost your fucking mind now. Come on. Do that with infield wall day and you could maybe have something. Bunt home run.

No, I want infield wall day to be literally like 300 home runs, and the game goes for 18 hours. Check stick the long ball. Yeah. It would be incredible. Like two walls, like there's people between the walls. Like infield wall, one run, outfield wall, you know. A moat instead of the warning track?

Alligators? Dragons. Yeah. Alligators in the water? I don't know, dragons or something? Trenton, you fucked up. Oh, what about a couple wild animals on the field during the game? Iodese.

Yeah. I like that. A couple lions. Kappa bears. Do you think the Jets wind up with Aaron Rodgers? What's it looking like? I don't know, Mr. Jets fan. I'd say yes.

Just got to settle on compensation. They said they don't even need a first. Yeah, stipulations on the compensation. Take those two seconds maybe, conditional? Yeah, the Jets want one of the seconds. The Packers want a first and a second. The Jets want one of the seconds. The Packers want a first and a second. The Jets want to give two seconds. They're going to probably land where one of the seconds become a first

if Aaron Rodgers plays more than one year. Or like if he had 4,000 yards, I was seeing as one of the stipulations or some shit. I hope Lamar ruins it and goes to the Jets. That would be funny. Yeah. Lamar. We had Stav on today to talk Lamar.

Oh, yeah. He's funny. Very funny. He's very upset about Lamar we had Stav on today to talk Lamar's oh yeah funny very funny he's very upset but Lamar stop stop is doing like fucking theaters now huh yeah it's a big star blowing up he'll be in a rom-com soon think so yeah but he won't play the best friend role he'll be the other friend other friend role okay i'm trying to the the the best he goes to the other friend role for advice and that steers him completely wrong and then he has to go to the best friend i don't even i think his lines just

piggyback off of other people's got it or no he's the guy in the friend group who's fatter. Yeah. But he gets the most pussy. And the main character's like, how am I not getting any pussy? Look at Stav. And Stav's only line is like, worry about yourself, man. Yeah. It's all about self-confidence.

Yeah. I think that there's an avenue for him to star in a rom-com. I have one in mind, and it's the Glennie Balls story. Oh! About how Glennie Balls is always having these OF girls come in here smoking hot,

and they're dating athletes and stuff like that. They're always like, Glennie, how do I talk to a guy or something like that? They don't realize that deep down, they love him.

Yeah. He is their love. Is that live right now? Yes. And that's every day. And that's every day. Every single day. Every damn day.

Some of them that are coming in. He's in the New York Post today. Yes, he is. Lenny? Yeah. Yeah, this story. Doesn't surprise me. Yeah.

Honestly, he's coming into the office more. He's putting in longer hours. He's in here every day. He doesn't take days off like some other people do. He's grinding so hard on. He's in here every day. He doesn't take days off like some other people do. He's grinding so hard on these whores. You can't say that. Fine young ladies.

Sure. And everyone is just like, I wish I could find a guy exactly like you, Glenn. Lenny Balls. Yes, and I think that that's a rom-com. I think that that's a futuristic, cool, funny rom-com. Non-traditional. I love the idea's like a futuristic, like, cool, funny rom-com. Non-traditional. I love the idea of OnlyFans.

Basically, it feels like a big market correction. Yeah. Horny dudes everywhere. But like... Hot chicks can finally monetize it. Themselves. The most logical thing in the world that people still are upset about. People are upset about it?

Those are the real perverts. Those who are upset about porn or OnlyFans, they're perverts. Christians are the perverts. Yeah. They're the original perverts. It's a fact. Let's do the last ad. Farmer's dog.

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50% off with code YAK. Farmersdog.com. Highly recommended. Comes highly recommended. Big time. TJ, you want to spin that goddamn wheel? Oh, you found it. Nice.

Oh, that does look sick. Is that Jokic? What the hell? How would you like that, TJ? Why is that something you may like? Who's that guy interviewing Mormons? That's like an untapped, I feel like, comedy group that people have been doing. What's the craziest thing that's happened to you at BYU?

I walked out of the shower in my towel and a group of boys came down the hall. I just held my towel and I was like, hey, guys. What'd they say? Hey. Whoa. Crazy. This is what people are doing. They're just going to Utah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Half the gators want to get into BYU are TikTokers being like, this is untapped. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Half the gators who want to get into BYU are TikTokers being like, this is untapped. Yeah. It's the most tapped thing ever. The least interesting people in the world. But it's so uninteresting, it's interesting.

Now that we know what they're about. Yeah. I get a lot of Iranians arguing over hijabs on mine, like our students. I got that, too. Yeah. A bunch of it. That sounds like you have to go. I think these videos make it look like I could go.

Yeah. I think you need to go. I'm trying to go. Oh! Two people. Nicky. Nick Central is going to be so lit on Friday. I'm locked in.

Who else should we have? Should we bring people? Since it's just going to be the three of us, we could afford to each bring someone. It could be a bring on Friday. I'm locked in. Who else should we have? Since it's just going to be the three of us, we could afford to each bring someone. It could be a bringer show. A surprise plus one. A surprise plus one. Someone who can really throw back mystery juice.

I think I know the person. This is what I mean when I say chew your bottles, by the way. Don't you do that? Yeah. Chew them all the way. What is the person who bought the wheel sliver? What's the sliver? Don't you do that? Yeah. Oh, I chew them all the way. This little hole right now. What is the person who bought the wheel sliver? What's the sliver?

So they bought the wheel sliver, and they wanted us to do something that I vetoed. What was it? Go to their company that installs carrier equipment and climb up telephone poles. Oh, God. Oh, that would have been pretty cool. Where is it? I don't know. If it's close, I think we should do it. We have so many things that we just haven't done. That's true, but that's kind of

the whole point of the show. So I asked for a veto and he said I give full control of the wheel slice to Nick and only Nick let him decide. Oh. You always want to climb a only Nick. Let him decide. Oh. You always want to climb a telephone pole. Where does this guy work?

I don't know. Because I don't want to climb the pole, but we should just go to his office. Yeah, just show up. Yeah. He did pay a pretty price. He paid a lot. Yeah. Okay.

Geez, that's a lot, a lot of pressure. You don't have to answer right now. If it lands on it. Then you'll have to answer then. Okay, okay. I'm not answering right now. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.

Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Reset. All right, so Nick's choice is off. Oh, wait, we spin again, right? Yeah, we do. I don't like the people that don't like the wheel.

Maybe you consult with the guy. I'll consult with the guy. I feel like that would be. Who don't like the wheel? I'm not a fan. Who, Brandon? Yeah, I guess it's Brandon. He really didn't want to do the wheel. Some of our best, funniest, weirdest episodes come from the wheel.

We don't do it all the time. Wheel didn't want to do the wheel. and you're like, fucking A, the train's always delayed. It's like, well, you don't think about the 20 times it's not delayed. Yeah. You don't think about the 20 times when we don't do anything. Right. Right. You think about the one time you're like, this fucking sucks. Fuck this. Best thing about the show is there's one tomorrow.

You know what I mean? There's always going to be a next show. You guys all do the yak more than anything else in life? I think at this point. Sleep. Maybe I believe you do the yak more than anything else in life? I think at this point. Sleep. Maybe I believe you do the yak more than anybody else on the yak. I saw that. That's crazy.

Wait, is that true? The most logged episodes. Can we see the stats? That's crazy. Good for you. You're our Iron Man. You're our Cal Ripken. Does anyone have a Cal Ripken streak?

We should start tracking that. Oh, yeah. Longest streak. Oh, without missing one? Yeah. More than anybody. 416 shows. I need to see that whole list, though.

Yeah, I'd be fascinated. He's listening right now. Wow. Connor, you curious, silky voice. Look at my guys. These are my guys. Aren't they great? Three guys.

Shane memes. Who the hell is Shane? What the hell is Shane do? Evan, here's my fourth guy. They just walk around. They all walk around together just looking the same. They're just the best. Computer neck.

Bass isn't yours. Yeah, they're just the best. Yeah. Computer neck. Yeah. Bass isn't yours. Yeah, they're just going up. Probably doing a meeting. On the conveyor belt. I got to go to so many meetings. Sucks. Bro, Tyler Miller had five meetings yesterday. I do feel powerful.

What the hell? I think he's like number three at the company. Yeah, right behind Nate. Yeah. Every now and then they'll be like, we have to do feel powerful. I think he's like number three at the company. Yeah, right behind Nate. Every now and then they'll be like, we have to do this meeting. I'm like, who told you to do that? And they're like, this person's like, tell me, give me their number. He's not coming to this meeting.

He's hanging out with me. He's strong, yeah. We're eating beef jerky. Yeah. No more meetings for them. And then shit falls apart and I'm like, they're like, well, we should have been at that meeting like oh fuck i did it again okay you're trying to help your guys i know it always are bullshit luke and rudy were in a meeting for us two days ago wouldn't tell us what happened yeah they're real tight-lipped about it you need meeting guys to go to meetings for you it is actually the one perk.

It's meeting guys. Going to your own meetings is brutal. They just go to the meeting for like 30 minutes and they come back and they tell me the two sentences that I need to know. And that's crazy that you couldn't just get the two sentences off the rip. Oh no, because the meeting person, whoever's throwing the meeting, has to justify

the meeting. Stephen knows about this life. Yeah. about this life. Yeah. Pretty much described. Yeah, these meetings. You know that 90% of the meeting is bullshit. I mean, there are updates, but yeah. Yeah, right. Just say the update.

Yeah. How many meetings could be an email? A lot. Sounds like a mug. Damn right. Just email me the meeting yeah text it to me just people want to scratch their social witch

yeah well they just want to have it on their calendar just like damn I got a busy day they can take a picture of their calendar and be like look at this fucking look at all these meetings that could have my entire days of work

could have been solved by three paragraphs in an email. I feel like in the meeting I'm in with you, you're pretty involved. Yeah, I am. That one I am. TJ, do you like? That one's good. I need that meeting. You like being a manager?

It's a little blue meeting, yeah. But I've been in meetings where there's nothing. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Say again, TJ? I do. I think it helps validate my progress as an employee here. That's why you like it? So do you like the actual managing, or is it more like that it's a landmark along the way?

I like getting to help people out that are newer here. I don't think, like, I was in charge of Tyler Miller. I don't think he needs to be managed, though. I think he could be managing people. But, like, do you think that everybody who's good at something should be managing someone? No, and that's not exactly the case. There are a lot of managers here, but not everybody. Just because you're good at producing doesn't mean you're good at managing.

It's more of, like, a logical step of being, like, I am progressing here. This is how I can outwardly show it. Yeah, like, now I'm in charge or I'm managing Zupi and Fasoli because they're moving to Chicago. So I guess that makes sense. Like, help organize them when we're moving. That's what I thought.

So wait, do we have more managers or managed? Managed. Wait. Yeah. Yes. We should have managers on the content side. I think that's Dave. Oh.

What would they do? I don't know. Maybe, like, you're in charge of three people and you're just like, hey, maybe you should pitch them ideas or you tell them how you did it. My point is that being good at doing content doesn't mean that you're good at telling other people how to do content. Facts. I'm not that good at telling other people. You guys are both good at advice, though.

Yeah. Yeah, advice, but that's not managing. That's just advice. Yeah, I don't know. Well, then everybody should have an advice guy. Yeah, advice guys make sense, but I would never – I'll give anyone advice, but I'll never do this. I bug Roan. Actually, you guys sometimes.

Like, I have an idea, blah, blah, blah. You guys are always good at bouncing stuff off of. Advice guys. Roan's a good hype man, too. I almost always just tell you, like, yeah, do the idea. Definitely do it. So pretty much just always do it. You might as well do it.

Everyone is Jerry. He's got some wild ideas. Yeah, because, like, worst case scenario, it flops, but then, like, you could just be like, well, I was doing something. Yeah. Do the next thing. I'm in Cringe Mountain. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was

a good sip there. Gotta keep your mouth moist. Is that Che? Don't eat too much. What? Oh, okay. Only Italians. You guys know why

penny loafers were a thing? Why they put pennies in penny loafers? No. Emergency phone calls. A phone call was two cents. Whoa. I thought it was to pay

the shoeshine man, but I was wrong, so I checked it this morning. I didn't even know they put pennies in the penny loafers. Oh, yeah. There's a little penny slot.

My mom wore pennies in her penny loafers. But Lattman was wearing a pair today. Kind of swaggy. Kind of like drips them out a little bit. Yeah. Like a feather? Yeah them out a little bit. Yeah.

Like a feather. Yeah. I think it kind of does. You got to be real shined up though. There should be penny slots in modern shoes. Oh. Yeah. Credit card slots in phones.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the new penny loafer. Facts. You know why there were credit card slots in your phones? To keep a credit card in. 70 years from now. Fuck yeah.

I have a new alter ego. Oh. Ricky Israel. Okay, go on. Relief pitcher or? No, no, no. I own a bar called Iggy's. Oh.

Why is it called Iggy's if your name's Israel? Ah, very nice. Very nice. What kind of food do they serve? Just you could get a bag of peanuts off the wall. Nice. Where is the bar? It's a hole in the wall downtown.

What about a microwave pizza? Yeah, you can, but the microwave is oftentimes broken. Okay. No, the pizza's bigger than the microwave. Do they have cocktails or is it just beer? It's just beer. Okay. No, the pizza's bigger than the microwave. Do they have cocktails or is it just beer? It's just beer. No, you can also get a vodka soda in a plastic cup,

but the smaller ones. Oh. You ever been to like a real, real old hole in the wall with like the carpeted floors and just a crock pot cooking something, like a big thing? And you, yeah. Yeah. You know who's ruining those kinds of bars?

John Taffer. What? Yeah. He's always like, stop cooking this food open to the air. It's like the open air makes it taste better. Like clean your grill. The dirty grill makes the food taste better. You can't get just like a garbage plate anymore because John Taffer is trying to shut it down and add a concept to it.

Son of a bitch. Taffer knows what he's doing. Taffer's trying to shut it down and add a concept to it. Son of a bitch. Taffer knows what he's doing. Taffer would hate it, geese. How many ideas for a rebuilt bar can Jon Taffer have before he's just recycling? Endless, brother. Before he's just like fucking... Endless.

Oh, you're going to add a POS system, dude. Thanks, Jon. Just come with the POS system off the rip and we can fucking save ourselves some time. That's all he's to add a POS system. Dude, thanks, John. Just come with the POS system off the rip, and we can fucking save ourselves some time. That's all he's adding is a POS. What is a POS? He's a POS. What is a POS?

Damn. What is a POS? What does that mean? Little button systems. It just organizes how many vodka sodas. It's like we sold 40 vodka sodas, so that should be an entire... entire bottle of vodka.

I got the stats. Oh, here we go. Yikes. Wait, Roan, you tied Brandon today. Yeah. And tomorrow I'm passing it to my dad. Tomorrow. KB, look at you.

What a healthy lead. You have a huge lead. I'm out for the rest of this week. KB also has the longest streak at 51. 51? And it breaks this week. Get a life. Oh, yeah, you're out Friday.

Oh, I don't want you. It's not an active streak. So it's not an active streak. It's an old streak. 51 is a long streak. That's damn near Di't want. Yeah. It's not an active street. So it's not an active street. It's an old street. 51 is a long street. That's damn near DiMaggio. Yeah. It's what, three months of not missing?

I suck at math. I feel kind of proud. Proud. You should feel proud. I can't believe I've done this. Because you were like six, too. Not after that. You had long COVID.

I feel like some of those episodes you didn't talk. Yeah, that's a secret. Endurance never gets below 90%. No, he's been load-managed. Low usage, yeah. He's going out there, but he's not getting too many steps. My stamina is going down. If you know, like after an hour, I get a little tired too.

Kind of powers down, yeah. It's like an opinion. I can't form one. It's true. I still listen to the show. It's a perfect time. What? College Dodgeball.

Do you want to talk about it off camera? Yeah, what do we got to do? Do you want to do it? What am I doing? Paying to sponsor it. How much? Yeah, what do we got to do? Do you want to do it? What am I doing? Paying to sponsor it. How much? They have a bunch of options. What is the option?

Let me look at the DM. Did I say I wanted to buy all of it? I don't think we ever talked about this on air. Yeah, I wanted to buy all of it, right? Yeah, the National College Dodgeball Tournament. Okay, I have prices for the title sponsor. What is it? So it would be the Barstool Yak National Championship.

Okay. It's 8K. Is this streamed? Is it going to be on TV? It is streamed. On what? YouTube. What are the other options?

Title game presenting sponsor. All-star match presenting sponsor. When is the games played? I think it's April, mid-April. Is it during the day? I think so. I think it's like all day. I want to sponsor a game that we can watch.

What other title game? Can we watch the title game? Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to sponsor that. I want to sponsor like the third qualifying game. It's April 15th and 16th. Which is a Saturday and Sunday. Oh, we're out.

Sorry. All right. Sounded cool. Tell them next year, put the tournament at 1 o'clock, and we'll fucking call the games. Alternate broadcast? Yeah. As the broadcast?

That sounds nice. You got to go play roofball. I want to play roofball so bad. Maybe that's the thing. Can you figure that out, TJ? That'd be Nick's slice of the wheel. I'm thinking about my wheel. Slice.

I'm thinking Groundhog's Day. Uh-oh. Almost a year from now? Or no? You got a Groundhog's Day for a month. Same outfit every day. Same meal. Oh.

For a month. Maybe let's do it for a week. Or maybe just a week and you can only eat corn and at the end you have to show us a picture of your poop. Okay, good. That sounds good. I like you can only eat groundhog. You can only eat groundhog for a week.

Yeah. Yeah. You can eat groundhog or groundhog. Yeah. Yeah. You can eat groundhog or groundhog. Yeah. Yeah. And corn. No, no, no. I like that.

It's not official. Wait, but Sass does that on his own. Yeah, I guess he does Groundhog Day. Yeah. I like that, Groundhog Day. I like the idea of having to wear the same thing for an entire week. So Sass has to really vary his outfit. I was on Rudy's

Twitch stream the other night and he has sub goals and I always think of the goals. And if he got 100 subs that day I said you have to buy a shirt off Amazon that I pick out and you have to wear it for a month. And it happened and now he has to wear a shirt that says I'm schizophrenic and have a gun. Is he wearing it right now? I don't think it came in yet

But then he's going for a month Damn that's awesome He'll make it look fucking hot If he gets 200 You should buy him a gun Yeah 200 he has to carry the gun New York

No license Scratched off cereal He's got a brand of shit In front of the police Open carry He's got a whistle By shit in front of the police. Open carry. He's got a whistle by the police. Squirreling it.

He's got a tap on a car window with a click. Asks for directions. Am I going that way or that way? Oh, man. Okay. See everyone tomorrow. I'll miss you guys. Wait, so you're not going to see us tomorrow? Yeah, just. Okay. See everyone tomorrow. I'll miss you guys. Yeah.

Wait, so you're not going to see us tomorrow? Yeah, just say it. We'll see it. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Fuck. If you're in Houston this weekend, come see. Yeah. Come to Kirby's.

We'll be at Kirby's Friday and Saturday. Friday from 5 to 7 Central. Saturday from 1 to 3 Central. Very excited. It's a cool poster. It is cool. What if we just didn't go on Saturday because it's April Fool's Day? That would be funny.

Damn. Those fools. Do they practice that in Houston, though? April Fool's? No, I think you get shot. Yeah, that's a little bit too... Texas? In Texas?

You'll get shot. All right, we'll see everyone later. All right. Cool. We'll see you next time.