The Yak - We're the Best Midday YouTube Show on the Planet | The Yak 12-20-22

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

AchooYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I don't feel like doing this anymore. Psych. Welcome to the Yak. I bet everybody started freaking out for a second. For sure. It's me. It's Kyle.

It's a little Sasquatch. It's Kate. Yeah, we decided to start at one today. What? Yeah. Oh, nerds. Losers. What's your excuse?

No, I'm just kidding. Something with my kid. Yeah, fuck. The ultimate loophole. Gotta have a kid. Where's your olive? Olive? Olive Tuesday? kid yeah fuck the ultimate loophole gotta have a kid where's your olive olive olive tuesday is that what's in those boxes just okay we're all wearing olive wait i kind of no way hell yeah all right all right we're chilling

no those are that's a gift sent in from Hold the Mayo. Red Beans. Oh, nice. Yeah, his T-shirt, his merch. Kyle, go ahead and open it up. I'll take your word for it. He's a good guy. I like his merch.

I want to be wearing it. Four Olives. Oh, loopy. Extra loopy. Golly. Did you ever drink that, Kate? Drink what? Four Olives. It was the vodka. It was three Olives. Ooh, loopy. Extra loopy. Golly. Did you ever drink that, Kate? Drink what? Four Olives.

It was the vodka. It was Three Olives. Three Olives, right? Three Olives. Oh, shit. I was like, is Four Olives like the knockoff version? Sequel, yeah. I would mix the loopy with Mountain Dew.

Didn't they have a Mountain Dew flavored one, though, called Dude? That's what I would do. That with Mountain Dew, loopy with high C. Loopy tasted like Fruit Loops. A little bit. High C is a viscous drink that's I hated the taste of liquor so much that I would just get the heavy heavy flavor yeah yeah you'd have to I haven't had a high C in years I haven't either no I was thinking of Sunny D that's what I was thinking of as well. Sunny D will cover anything. Yeah, that is...

That and Tang. I loved Tang. Oh, we had so much Tang growing up. If you go to the Astro Diner in New York City and you get orange juice, it's Tang. It's the best. I don't remember it. My mom used to clean our

dishwasher with it. With Tang? I don't know. Yeah. Did it stain With Tang? I don't know. Yeah. Did it stain the dishwasher? No. I don't know what that did. Mom's always finding goofy shit to clean with. Yeah. They really do.

Oh, man. Boys, I have an interesting story. I was in an Uber this morning and I met to the story. Tell the whole thing and don't be afraid to give if it gets boring because it probably won't it's not it's a very quick story I don't think

we're going to be able to show it I'll show you guys after but I was in an Uber and the Uber driver had like a laminated piece of paper on the back of his seat

it was like we have Android chargers Apple chargers like all the shit and then it was like if you enjoy this playlist like scan this QR code and you can see the

playlist that we're listening to. Or the, he's like, I also do artwork. And on the artwork thing it said, mature, in parentheses. And I was like, so I'm going to have to scan this and see what it is. It is just hundreds of paintings of just straight up assholes. Swear to God. His paintings? His paintings. And they're just assholes? Just assholes. Swear to God. His paintings? His paintings.

They're just assholes. Just assholes and vaginas. Well, if it's paint, can we show it if it's just a painting? I don't know if we can. How realistic are the paintings? I also don't want to expose the dude, but I was like, what the fuck?

We should buy a print. Did you say anything? Were you like, hey, no. Oh, no, no. It was butthole art. What was his ASL uh i don't really know he was a man okay older young like older than us not that old i mean he was listening to like frank ocean and stuff like he was like probably like 25 28 sounds like it started off

as a very professional uber driver yeah like a lot like like a lot of cool stuff like kb i'll show you the artistic or like hyper realistic meant to jack off to or enjoy? What was the medium? Ink? Oil? Oh, my God. Realistic? Those look like a picture.

Just like paintings of assholes. I got to see. Yeah, I want to see as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming over. I'll pull up the guy's. Flip your phone around. I want to see if I can Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming over. I'll pull up the guy's letter. Flip your phone around. I want to see if I can tell.

That's throwing him under. That's free pub. He's the guy who paints assholes. You're the asshole painter. And then promotes it. All right, here we go. In his Uber. At least he warned it was mature.

Yeah, he did, but I don't think mature was the word. Wait, hold on. Let me find the asshole. Oh, here we go. Whoa. Flip it around. I think we should bring somebody in, and they have to guess if it's a painting. Whoa.

Oh, it's gaping. It's a gaping asshole. It's very realistic because it's not pretty. No, no, no. It has all the flaws that any butthole would. Oh, wait, and guess what the caption is. This makes it way better. Hold on.

Long overdue painting of a friend. Oh no, dude. Oh no. Long overdue. I didn't even read the caption. I can't imagine what would make that long overdue. Kyle, we've been boys

for three months now. He goes, I enjoy drawing butts whenever I come back from a break because it's the best way for me to figure out how to do skin.

I'm still a bit rusty though and this one's just a vagina. Ugh. Okay. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. I didn't even know what to do with that information. I was like, I guess I'll tell it on the yak.

Does the model have to, like, that's a vagina sans the asshole. So he skips the asshole. This one is just ass in vagina, no asshole. There's an asshole in the asshole. Oh, what is that? Is that a vagina hole? What's the caption? Yeah, what's the caption on that one?

That's the first one of the year. I enjoy drawing butts whenever I can. Oh, okay. I want to read more of these captions. Those captions are really fucking funny. Huh. See if I can find more assholes. Add it to the wheel. You have to get your butthole painted by that guy. You have to get your butthole painted by him.

Say his name. Feel bad. Yeah, yeah. Give him a shout out. Should I? Yeah. I don't think it's like mean to do. We're not being mean. I guess not. They are really good paintings. People see. His handle on Instagram is

jack.ghostel and ghostel is spelled G-H-O-S-T-E-L. His butthole trunk is about to get a ton of oogas underneath them. He's going to be really confused. That's funny still. In five minutes,

the yak calendars are restocked. They sold out last time. And it's like the perfect time to get it, end of the year. Perfect time to get a new calendar. Yeah, it is. I gotta get one. I tried to get one. There's one sitting on your desk, I'd imagine. Oh, is there? How do you even ask

somebody to paint their ass? I wonder if he gets drunk like drunk girls and ubers who are like i want to get panted yeah why else would he probably that word why would he have that has to be what he's hoping is gonna happen yeah like that butthole one that i looked at if i was drunk and i was like all right i'll go back whatever like in my early 20s uh and then he was done and that's what it looked like i'd be like oh oh shit there's a chance you'd be like oh yeah i'm down let me just go lie on your head i bet ass out not even out like the taking no not i bet you he gets people in the back

like just like take a picture in the back of the uber right now and just send it to me and i'll paint it i don't know dude i but like because he had like an example of the painting and it was like an anime girl or something and i was like oh i was like i wonder what i was like and in my head i was like it's mature i was like i bet he does like weird like hentai drawings sure and then i clicked on that that was not what i was expecting hell yeah very realism yeah very interesting that really is it would be funny if like that scene in the Titanic when Jack is drawing Rose she's just he's drawing her

yeah yeah yeah you need to revamp that it's perfect this doesn't look like my asshole at all you suck yeah that was... That's weird. The captions are great.

A long overdue painting of a close friend. Yeah, you're close. And they're asshole. Was this in New York? Yes. In Manhattan. Interesting. I mean, that's a little odd to have with the rest of your...

That's something you bring up in conversation. First things were very normal and kind. Yeah. The qualities of a great Uber driver. It almost feels like he's tricking you. Like, look how nice this guy is. Let's go check out his art. Honestly, I was thinking about downloading that playlist.

Because I was like, this is actually a pretty good playlist. It was a pretty good playlist? Yeah, it was a good playlist. Am I weird? I don't make playlists. I just have all my liked songs in a shuffle. I make playlists and then I never listen to them. And I just go back to listen to my liked music.

I've never once done it. I have a gym playlist. I'll say that. I have a gym one. I have a buddy who's like a playlist curator in L.A. That's a big thing in L.A. And he makes a big thing in LA. He makes a good bit of money. Yeah, there's a dude

from Kent who, that's his job on YouTube. Wait, what do you mean? So American Eagle needs background music so he'll make their playlist? No, he'll just make the playlist on Spotify and they get a lot of listens and so people will pay to have their songs on this guy's playlists.

Huh. Isn't the whole, like, aux cord DJ, like, a huge thing in L.A.? Where dudes are, like, DJing, but they're just playing a playlist? Oh, I don't know. I mean, that's, like, a huge thing. I'd imagine. Is that what most...

I'm sorry. Do a lot of DJs... Like, a wedding DJ just playing a playlist, right? Are they going off of... It depends on what type of DJing. Are they, like, mixing and mastering live? The wedding ones, yeah, they just press play. So do they even need to...

I'm going to offend wedding DJs. I don't know. I mean, if it's a... No, the ones that you've seen play. They don't have to be there. They don't. That's what I was asking. They take requests, so that's why they have to be there.

Okay. Maybe they set up the sound system and stuff. Maybe. My dad used to be a wedding DJ on the weekends to make extra money. Yeah. And so we had all the stuff in our garage. So I'd put on my roller skates when I was a kid, and I'd have all the DJing in the garage. Hell yeah.

It's pretty sick. Do they get paid a lot? Do wedding DJs get paid a lot? No, wedding photographers get paid a lot. Wedding photographers. They're always hot. Yeah. Wedding photographers?

Young women. Yeah, they are It's always hot. Yeah. Wedding photographers? Young women. Yeah, they are. They blend in well. That's the thing wedding photographers do the best. They blend in with the crowd. Y'all single dudes

talking knowledgeably about weddings? We're trying our best here. Did you have a wedding DJ? Yeah. I paid him a lot and he mixed live. He was like doing it all live.

Yeah, he was a good DJ. His name is DJ Benja Styles. Dude, he's a nice DJ, bro. He's fucking very slick with it. He was like, it all live his name is DJ Benja Styles dude he's a nice DJ bro he's fucking very slick with it but at one time I think he was like he was like dude he was telling my wife he was like I think Shout would crush right now like I want to play Shout

like so he threw it on there we gave him but we gave him like the no fly list that most people give at weddings or whatever but he was also playing Christmas shoes. There's several popular lists of songs that they don't want you to play. No-play songs at weddings. TJ, you might even be able to pull one of those up.

But just no-fly list songs. But we also gave him carte blanche. So when we cut the cake, he was just playing body-ody-ody-ody. No way. Hell yeah. It was pretty dope. Yeah, pull up some of those wedding no-play songs. Like people don't want, like the electric slide.

Oh, yeah, something corny. You know what I mean? Like Pharrell Happy. Yes, that's a big one on a lot of the list. Oh, really? That makes sense. I could see that one, yeah. Yeah.

There's some shit that just people don't want to play. Damn, Big Cat. Sorry, boys. Shave the beard. Yeah, well. Mustache. I haven't seen that in a while. You look young as hell.

Yeah, he does. Yeah, you do. What the fuck? Youthful glow. I haven't seen just the mustache and overlooking. Are you young? Tuning into Barstool Sports Advisors, Jerry and I went goatees. Oh, dang.

We looked. Here, I'll send the picture. We looked. Jerry still got his goatee. You could have told me Jerry's i went goatees oh hey looked here i'll send the picture we look we uh jerry still got his goatee you could have told me jerry's had a goatee yeah yeah jerry jerry by the way where is he we're gonna get him in here him say him doing a video being like trust the process with the hair i need six months before my hair looks good off his haircut did you see that video i didn't see his haircut you play the the video? The haircut's gone after. Yeah, no, he was like, he's like, just trust the process.

Like, we'll get there. It's like, what? No one's like Jerry. Come on, I'll send you the picture. Sorry for being late. Don't be sorry. I was late too. Do one question with a quarterback,

Chad Henney. Oh. Yeah. Former Dolphin. Former Dolphin, yes. His name rhymes perfectly with Brad Penny. Yeah. Chad Henney, Brad Penny. Yeah. Former dolphin. Former dolphin, yes. His name rhymes perfectly with Brad Penny. Yeah. Dad Henny, Brad Penny.

Wow. Wow. Are you a little chilly, big cat, walking in without the beard? Oh, no. You meant like a nipple. I forgot that I had shaved until you guys said something. Oh, really? I completely forgot.

I feel like we were talking about this recently where we were saying that you haven't had just the mustache in a long time. Long time, yeah, because I'm fat. I think you look good. It looks like you've been mewing. Yeah. What's mewing? What that means?

Mewing, I think, is the exercise you do where it, like, shapes your – it gets rid of this, right? M-E-W-I-N-G. What is that? You sound like you've been mewing. When you, like – I've been cooking under this hair. TJ, can you look up mewing? I think it's like the...

We have Goatee Week, right, coming up? I'll have to grow it back out. Yeah, look at that result of the mew. Wait. I've been doing that? It looks like your face. You've been mewing, dude. Is there something you do with your tongue? I think you push up on the roof of your mouth. It's a big incel thing. They get out of incel

to mew. Got it. Mewing. I mew, too. That was Ewing. I'm you too. That was for Nick. Thank you, man. Over time movement is said to help realign your teeth and define. Oh, interesting. Speaking of my teeth, I have two cavities that I have been putting off getting filled.

And I think I'm getting close to root canal again. I've made this mistake before. I need to go to bed. It hurts really bad. Fuck. I've just been, I've canceled twice. Cold water hitting you? Is it hurting?

Yeah. It's bad. I'm eating candy. I'm just really- I'm in bulking season. I guess you're bad. I'm bulking season right now. Dude, I've been having just two nerds rope before I go to bed.

Don't brush my teeth. Oh, never. This month- What? It was late night snacks? I'm very't brush my teeth. Oh, never. This month. What? It was late night snacks? I'm very much joking. Oh. Okay, well, that makes me.

I brushed my teeth as well. I was also joking. That makes me feel bad, too. Do you eat the nerd ropes or no? No. Okay, yeah, that makes me feel bad because I'm. Oh, I definitely eat them. I like the bitchery nerds.

I get a jumbo pack of Twizzlers. Yeah, nerds rope. I crush them every night. Twizzlers? Dude. Gross, Kane. Why? You don't like Twizzlers? No. Gross candy. Why? You don't like Twizzlers?

No. Not to eat. I don't like them. They don't have the flavor, the sweetness. I'm eating candy. I want to. I like to walk around with them hanging out of my mouth. It looks cool.

It does look cool. You look like a farmer. Great road trip snack, too. Because you can have a lot of them. Yeah. I like the twisty ones. The ones that are like you can. So you're pulling peels. Those ones that you can untwist.

So you're pulling peels. Those are way better. Those are strawberry as well. Those are classic. You ever do the fruit flavored Twizzlers? Those are good. Red vines are better in every single way. They suck ass.

Fuck you to death. Red vines. Red vines are awful. Red vines taste like plastic. That got me fucked up. I think you're just fucking with me. He's me me. No. He's mewing.

No, I'm taking a picture and then putting it on and being like, find out. I like to do the Instagram swipe ups to try to trick people into watching the act. Oh, nice. I do like, find out what bet I lost to have to shave my mustache live right now. Why don't you tweet somebody just laying on the floor and just be like, oh no. Watching that. Yeah. Oh no. What happened to KB?. Watch that. Yeah. Oh, no.

What happened to KB? He looks hurt. Yeah. His brain's leaking out of his ears. Nostril. Are you okay, KB? No, but yeah. I just got to accept that this is the new normal for the time being.

I'm worried about you. Get over it. I would say. Everything aligns with like these, which is the post COVID thing that some people get. I'd say I spend in terms of worrying. You're the number one guy I worry about. Not in like a bad way.

I just like, I want you to be feel good again. Yeah. What is it? Just the foggy brain. Yeah. Yeah. Just fatigue. It's just always tired.

Yeah. You disappear. When you leave the office, you disappear. I've been sleeping so well, except for last night I was in hell. I had a dream that there was a UFC league, but each person brought a snake into the ring with them. So the snakes battled while they were fighting amongst the snakes, and I hate snakes.

That sounds awesome. It was uninterrupted. I didn't wake up once. I was in hell. Were they known fighters? Snakes were terrible. Terrifying. Were the fighters famous guys or

random fighters? Known snakes? What happens if the fighter loses but their snake wins? I don't remember. It's a dream so you kind of only get 25% clarity. I want more. This is awesome. Damn. Asps. As is awesome. Damn.

Asps. Ooh. Aspies. You on that crossword shit, too? He's on that crossword shit. Oh, yeah, you boys just doing the crossword every day? Mine, 13 minutes today, no checks. Yesterday, checks, which I'm embarrassed. Checks on a Monday.

No one admits that, but I just did. Finished it. No misses. You got brain fog. What was up with the swastika? Oh, yeah. That was wild. Did what happen? Yeah, New York Times for the swastika? Oh, yeah. That was wild. Did it happen?

Yeah, New York Times first day of Hanukkah, their grid was a blatant swastika. A blatant swastika. Very blatant. That seems like it was on purpose. It was. I guess it happened on the first day of Hanukkah in 2016 as well. It's like a Michael Scott paper company.

I'm fine with that. I want them punished for saying that Canberra was in New South Wales. That just fucked up the whole scheme a few weeks ago. They were wrong? Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Wait, I don't really see it. Oh, boy.

Turn your head a little bit to the right. You got to be able to see that. I think that's pretty. I did that. I didn't realize at the time. It's plastic-ish. Draw it, TJ. With a red, yeah.

It's in the white space. Okay, I see it I guess Oh I think yeah Yeah No I don't know It's a reach Yeah that's like a It's a reach

No I thought it was gonna be way more blatant I don't I think it's I think it's blatant That's a straight up You go to the 2016 one I think it was

I thought it was gonna be like With the black space Oh It's like That's a swath It's a reach but I'm for it because it's the New York Times. They're stuffy as hell, and let's get them in trouble. Yeah, they are big virtue people.

They think they are virtuous. Does my jaw really look skinny? Yes, dude. Your whole face looks youthful. I'm fat right now. Did you get Kybella, maybe? Maybe. Kybella, maybe? Maybe. Kybella's like the cold sculpting type of shit or whatever.

Oh, the roll? Yeah, the roll. Like that? Roll my whole face? There's some shit where they go like this and they push the fluids out of you. Gua sha. It's a gua sha? Yeah.

That sounds cool. Made of jade? Cold jade. Little rollers. Yeah. What's up, Kate? Topade. Cold jade. Little rollers. Yeah. What's up, Kate? Top bun today? Top bun.

Love it. I'm crazy. Like a samurai. Set it up. Yeah. You should do pigtails. Okay. Why?

I just wanted it to be creepy. I saw a thing. Waitresses. It worked. It definitely worked. It worked. The creepiest thing to success. Yeah.

I want you to look like a little girl. Yeah. Beatrices say they make a ton more when they do pigtails and bartenders. Really? Yeah, a bunch of New York City, it was like on TikTok. They're like, let's see how much I make tonight, and then let me do pigtails and see how much I make. And they made like double every time they did pigtails. That's creepy.

Yeah. That's very creepy. Yeah. Pigtails. Kind of hot. You're a pedophile. Good time very creepy. Yeah. Big tails. Kind of hot. You're a pedophile. Good time. Oh, no.

No, I know you're a pedophile. Damn, Nick. I had to find out this way. It's brutal. Like you had a bright, pedo Nick. Rears his head. Oh, back to day one.

Oh, yeah. I had to do it. My phone is pedo Nick. Yeah, that was my first week at work. That was a good way to haze you. That was good. Pedo Nick, can he take it? You took it.

It was true. If it was untrue, I think I would have pushed back. I didn't push back. Zero projection. You were kind of like, well, this is good because that's my biggest skeleton in the closet. At least it's out in the open. I was worried how I was going to tell these guys. Steven, what's up with you?

You got your little coat? I'm rocking the Andrew Wilworth today. Yeah. To take the pro football football shot. How'd it go? I thought it went pretty good. Did you guys give it to Dion for not going for two? We said that if you and Dave were there,

that you would have mercilessly hazed him about the white tight end dropping that touchdown pass. And so we would give him a little bit of a respite from all that, but we still brought it up the same way. Joey, is that a? Joey. Menorah for Joey. He's got the sticker on the front.

But Steven did say that the Cowboys, the Eagles, he said the Cowboys are at, not only that, but he said that the Cowboys aren't at full strength right now, but the Eagles are at full strength without Jalen Hurts. And he said that the Cowboys win when they're at full strength, but the Eagles are going to win this week. I think if they play a third time with both teams at full strength, I'll take the Cowboys.

This week I actually do think the Eagles win. Wow. Who's doing my picks? Me. Fuck. I pick the Eagles. Actually, that's good. Yeah, I like the Eagles.

And I was on Son of the Boy Dad today. That was massive. Wow. That was huge. Thank you so much for being on that. That was a huge bump for us, especially with the recent accolades that we got. Yeah, number one podcast at Barstool. Top podcast at Barstool.

I got that email. I was like, oh, good job. Good job, boys. I had people DMing me and being like, yo, congrats. Yeah, yeah, no, it's huge. They cut my pay in half. You guys officially asked PMT. It sucked, but that's okay.

I'm for the boys. I want the boys to win. Erica pulled me in. She's like, okay, so Christmas time, you're getting half. Now I only make $15 million. Yeah, so many people were just being like, dude, congrats. Dude, Philly wins again. Another Philly dub.

I mean, you guys were doing it as a joke. There are people in media who do that shit and will tweet number one podcast. That's not true. Based on what? Because no one ever pushes back because if you push back, you're the asshole. Yeah.

So I know Levitard Show will tweet, oh, number one. It's like, but that's just not true. It's like, but this is not true. It's like world's best cup of coffee. Yeah, right. Oh, hang on. Well, it's like every commercial during football season is like NBC's number one hit drama. Dude, the worst is, I was looking at this. This was pissing me off yesterday.

The Netflix shit, where it's like number one show in the U.S. Yeah. Like, there's no way this shitty, like, docuseries is the number one show in the U.S. Yeah. There's no way this shitty docu-series is the number one show in the U.S. There's so many shitty docu-series. My favorite was when Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharp started their new show. Their tagline was fastest growing show in sports. Yeah. It's like, well, technically, if you just started it, yeah, I guess.

That's true because there was nothing before. Fastest growing show. Zero to however many you have. Yeah, right. That's incredible growth. You can't even quantify that growth. Yeah because there was nothing before. Fastest growing show. Zero to however many you have. Yeah, right. That's incredible growth. You can't even quantify that growth. That's infinity growth. We should just say that about the Yak.

We should. Yak is the number one show. The hell? Number one live YouTube show in the world. At one o'clock. That's what Kill Tony calls himself. Yeah, I think he actually is, though. Number one live YouTube show in the world that starts at 102 to 105 every day.

Yeah. Yeah. Or we just have to have someone have said that, and then we can quote them, and that can be the accolade. I think that's what TBS used to do, because their shows used to always start five minutes after the hour, so they'd be the number one show on their time slot. Oh! That's what we've been doing. We're the number one show on our time slot. Brilliant's what we've been doing we're the number one show in our time slot especially because our time slot is always undefined we should we should also do um like when stand-up comedians are doing a live show they're like

also seen on you know barstool oh yeah yeah comedy central this that you were you have you ever been on hbo weren't you in a documentary was i I? It was a wrestling one, wasn't it? The Stone Cold? The Stone Cold one. Was that HBO? No, that was... Showtime? A&E?

A&E? A&E? All right, so we could put the Yak also, you know. Abe was on HBO. Okay, we could do it then. And he's part of the Yak. Oh, you were on

Showtime Boxing. Ah, that's true. Showtime and HBO because I get... I don't think I was on the HBO one. That one didn't go so well for us. I'm trying to think.

What other HBO? PFT's been on HBO. He was on a cameo on ESPN. Yeah, ESPN. PFT was on a cameo of Billions. Oh, yeah. Yep. So that counts.

Yeah. Yeah, as seen on. And then what was the, you were on a Reebok commercial? Yep. Seen on Reebok. Yep. As seen on and then what was the you're on a reebok commercial yep seen on reebok reebok people list off every single credit they have every appearance ever like a show with like 10 people in the audience as seen on bar rescue i still that actually is my favorite thing that happens like maybe like three or four times a year someone will see me and be like, Bar Rescue. Like, yeah. It's like very, very rare,

but there are some hardcore Bar Rescue fans. There has to be. I've been on it twice, and it's like, that's the coolest thing that someone could like. That is the coolest thing. Dude, Bar Rescue. I used to be a hardcore Bar Rescue fan. I loved it.

It's the easiest watch in the world. It was the best hungover watch. Like, you just watch all Sunday afternoon. Sunday's out of football season. In the summer, just fucking rip some Bar Rescue. That and Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Oh, yeah. So easy to watch.

I also like the, I think it's on the same, not the Food Channel. That would make no sense. It's like maybe A&E or one of the other ones. The guys who make the pools. Oh, yeah. The Grottos and all the things. That is awesome. Grottos don't get enough love.

Watch dudes make pools all day. You got pussy in a grotto? Never. I've never seen a grotto, no. You sure? I'm certain. I would know. A pagoda near, but never in a grotto.

A pagoda? Yeah. Was it with a samurai? No, it wasn't with a samurai. No. I don't think I've ever been in a grotto. Sorry. Damn. I don't think I've ever been in a grotto. Sorry. Damn, that hurt.

What technically defines a grotto? You have to see stone. Stone enclosure? Yeah. Is it enclosed? Yeah, it's got to be in... Yeah. Enclosed in a cave.

Wait a minute. Did you bring that up? Have you gotten pussy in a grotto? No. Were you expecting me to ask back? You got pussy in a gr. Wait a minute. Did you bring that up? Have you gotten pussy in a grotto? Were you expecting me to ask back? You got pussy in a grotto pizza at Delaware. Nah, that's sweet-ass pizza. Candy-ass pizza. That is sweet as hell.

That is good-ass pizza. It's all right. It's sweet, though. It's candy. Let's talk about it. It's super sweet. They just poured sugar into that sauce. Oh, my God. I found the best YouTube channel. It's super sweet. They just poured sugar into that sauce. Oh, my God.

I found the best YouTube channel. It's called Explore With Us. This documentary, When Teen Killers Realize They've Been Caught, is just footage of... Oh, yeah. I've been seeing it on YouTube. It's so awesome.

The whole interrogation process. The way it's edited, it's the best. The way they dime each other out and shit like that. Wait, what? The whole subreddit crocodile tears is people crying when they realize they've been caught and faking crying. Summerfield 6-1, they posted a month ago. It's so good.

Wait, this is incredible. I love these moments. It's fucked up today. Better than anything on Netflix. The Summerfield 6-1, yeah, I think I saw that one too. Yeah, where they slowly just confess to murdering. And they don't really feel together. And didn't realize what they committed first degree murder.

And they blame other people. Not the one they shot him in the bathtub or some shit like that. It's going to be the worst feeling to know the moment you're like, it's up. You got to see that. It's truer than true crime. Right. And they all got cooked. Like, they all went down hard.

I loved it. Great watch. Shouldn't murder. No, you shouldn't murder. Not murder. Don't involve other people, too. Just do your shit. Like, fucking stop trying to get six people in on it.

Yeah. But also don't murder. Yeah. But if you're going to, you know, just handle your own fucking business. Right. Like a man. Did you guys have pacts with people growing up being like, if I ever commit a murder, you'll help me get rid of the body?

No. I never thought about that. I had a pack with a guy, and he's a cop now. Oh, that's good. He still has to do that. Just make sure you murder. When you murder, make sure you do it in his precinct. Yeah.

No problem. Imagine if he pulled you in Make sure you do it in his precinct Yeah No problem Imagine if you If he pulled you in And you're like dude Remember when we were 12 Yeah What the fuck Yeah You promised me

Yeah You're in on this You're gonna go back on your promise Yeah exactly And I could even like Kind of rope him in As a co-conspirator regardless Cause he has already agreed

No matter what murders They're under his umbrella. Accessory to a murder. I started watching this TikTok page of this dude who fucking lives like it's like the 1800s. Oh, I saw that. Did you see him making green beans?

He was making beans. His accent is a delight. Yes, actually someone hit me up being like, it reminds me of your Brandon Walker accent. Oh, really? But he made like a fucking generator or some shit. Did you see that?

He was like- He wrapped thousands of feet of wire around to the smallest light bulb that you've ever seen in your life. It was pretty fucking sweet. Wait, is that the guy we looked at a few months ago? We looked at him before. Oh, we have? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked at that guy before?

The government made him shut it down or something? He built this thing that could send electrons thousands of miles or something, according to him. And they told him to stop? It was so much. The whole backyard looked like an electricity plant. What did Holmes look like in the late 1800s? I don't know. I thought you were talking about Homeboy.

Is that the Jell-O mold era? No. Oh, yeah. Jell-O mold era? No. Oh, yeah. Jell-O mold era. One time I claimed that was the 1960s, and everyone was like, that's way too late. Like 20s, 30s maybe? They used to put horse hooves in that, right?

Or the interior. Someone made a gelatin? That's pretty cool, I guess. That's trash. Haunted. Haunted, yeah. I feel like they weren't comfy back then. Jerry's here with his goatee.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Oh, thanks. Jerry looking very goatee today. Mm-hmm. Oh, man. Jerry, I was trying to explain your haircut. It's a JJ.

Yeah, but what's the deal with six months? Just to grow out more. So people have to ride with you for six months? Yeah. Why, it's bad? No, no, I just never heard of a six-month. Well, it takes time. Yeah.

It's not like an overnight process. Would you just get a freshie? No, no, it's Wednesday. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Wednesday, get a nice haircut. Wait, so, wait, when are we waiting? When do the six months start July we gotta wait till June

I've been doing it for six months Right now but there's another six month period So it gets to like a year Then I'll have enough hair Will there be a day where you unveil it Well yeah I'm gonna braid it What Braid your hair

I didn't know you braided your hair Like what kind Like who's your inspiration? Iverson? Drake? I don't know Rip Hamilton? Rip was a good one

Yeah Yeah he had some nice braids But just my back is gonna be braided Like the back of my head Oh yeah It's like your back Maybe get a rat tail Yeah

Were you growing a rat tail? Still am Nice Yeah Always wanted a rat tail Me too I want two beads My mom still has mine Your rat tail? Jesus Can you bring a rat tail? Still am. Nice. Always wanted a rat tail. Me too. I want two beads. My mom still has mine.

Your rat tail? Can you bring it in, Jerry? Yeah, I can bring it in. Yeah, I'd like that a lot. I'd like to see that rat tail. I'd like that a lot. In a Ziploc bag. It is?

What does she do with it? It's locked in a Ziploc bag? Yeah, in a Ziploc bag. With a zip. What does she do with it? She just saved it. It was my first haircut. I had a long tail

And then she just Snipped it Wow What does it smell like? I don't know I don't think she ever Took it out of the Ziploc

We should auction it You could probably Get some money for it JJ's first rat tail? That'd be a good one That's historic Oh don't sell that You want to keep that

I don't think she would Let you sell it Yeah You'd have to buy it Yeah We could maybe auction Off a smell of it though Like we could auction Oh, don't sell that. You want to keep that. I don't think she would let you sell it. Yeah. You'd have to buy it. Yeah. We could maybe auction off a smell of it, though. Like, we could auction off a chance to take a sniff.

Yeah. That'd be good. You think it'll smell weird? I don't know. I've never smelled old hair. I think it ages well, yeah. Yeah. Stray hair. Probably, right?

Does it? Yeah. Just a matter of hair, right? Yeah, it's just JJ. It's dead skin, though. Yeah. The kid with the rat tail was always a weirdo. Always. Disgusting.

Always on my school bus, cowboy starter jacket, rat tail. Good combo. Kind of from the rougher part of town. Maybe one pierced ear. Yeah, rat tail kid. I wanted to have a rat tail. I wanted to have a rat tail and a pierced ear. I aspired to that. My mom wouldn't let me.

She knew it would be a dirty path for me to go down. She knew I wouldn't come out the other side. I feel like have a rat tail on a pierced ear. Like, I aspire to that. My mom wouldn't let me. She knew it would be a dirty path for me to go down. She knew I wouldn't come out the other side. I feel like also rat tail kids, maybe a little on the chubbier side. Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm picturing a little skinny, dirty. A little lanky. Oh, okay.

Kind of like Tommy Walker's frame. Ah. Beady eyes. I think beady eyes go perfect with a rat tail. Hasn't showered in a couple weeks. There you go. Yeah. Mine was more like this. Whoa, look at the a rat tail. Hasn't showered in a couple weeks. There you go. Yeah. Mine was more like this.

Whoa, look at the rat rat tail. What was yours like? The second picture, I think, that was up there. That's awesome. Rat tail. That's wild. Second picture? That one?

Yeah, the second one. Yeah, that's textbook. Yeah, that was mine. That's a kid who's got bad intentions. He's stealing that candy. Yeah, he'll fuck you up. Get with a rat tail you don't want to fuck with. He's five years old drinking five-hour energy by the pace.

Monster just pounding it. No doubt. That Chubby's kid is great right there. Yeah. That's who I'm thinking. That was my kid. That was the kid on my bus. That's from Billy Madison.

Yeah, that's from a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boys don't look like that anymore. They don't. You think they've taken it away? Boys don't look like that.

They used to all the time. They just don't let chubby boys be chubby boys anymore? The way his... Yeah, the shape. Something about it. The stripes on his shirt. Who's that chubby boy that plays peewee football that has the best gear? Have you ever seen him?

He has the best fucking gear. Is he current? Are you talking about the baseball kid who gets dingers? No, no, no. I'm talking about the chubby football boy that has the swaggiest gear. Oh, I don't know. Is he currently chubby or is this from a foregone era? No, he's currently chubby, and he's just got swaggy football gear.

Where are you seeing him? Everywhere online. He's in my algo. It's a pedo algo. Oh, God. No, no, no. I have swaggy people in my algo. Isn't that the little Gronk kid?

Baby Gronk? Yeah. I prayed on his downfall at Easter Mass one year. Really? It's coming, yeah. Prayed on it? I actually prayed at Mass for him to have a very disastrous downfall. When?

When was that? What mass were you going to? When he first came up, like three years ago. Fresh Miss Mass? I might catch some shit. His parents might catch wind of this. It is what it is. What does he do?

He's a really good peewee football player. But I feel like any kid who's really good peewee, they're just not going to be good later on in life. There was a kid years back. He was supposed to be the next great running back. He was horrible. He didn't even get into college. Are you talking about Sauce Boss, by the way?

Sauce with a dollar sign. Sauce Boss? Sauce Boss. I remember Sam Huff. That was the, he had like the greatest high school tape of all time. I think he went to Michigan. Sam McGuffey. Sam McGuffey.

Yeah, Sam McGuffey was incredible. Yeah, Sam Huff. Sam McGuffey was supposed to be like that. He jumped over people. He was like one of the first whites to jump over someone. Is this your guy, Sauce Boss? Yeah, but- Oh, that's great.

Hold on. Yeah, he's a swaggy- Oh, yeah. Yeah. I see you. Yeah, no, that is swaggy as fuck. Yeah, he's swaggy as fuck. Look at that, the visor.

This guy's not a big account at all. No, that's the picture I saw. Oh, man. Yeah. I like all the arm bands. Yeah. Did you guys see that video that was going viral this weekend of the kid who was like 12 years old?

Yeah. That was wild. Oh, my God. Oh, who looks way old. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. They're like, how old are you? And he's like, 12.

Yeah. Okay. That'd be so awesome. He's scared, and I believe him. Okay. Just be able to dominate. Yeah. Imagine being his parents trying to discipline him.

Yeah, I know. Go to your room. No. No. You go to yours. Yeah. Okay. Sure.

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Try new Pizza Hut Melts now for just $6.99. Wow, $6.99, that's a hell of a deal. That's a hell of a meal, Pizza Hut. The melt today. The dude's here today. Yeah. He did a Q&A, and They're melt today. The dude's here today. Yeah. He did a Q&A, and someone asked ass or tits. He said both.

Shit. I believe him. I never thought you could do that. I didn't either. It's a never-been-done move. Both. One titty, one cheek. He also tweeted out his body count.

What was it? 60 to 85. Wait, 60 to 85? He doesn't know. He said he didn't know. So around 60 to 85. Wait, 60 to 85? He doesn't know. He said he didn't know. So around 60 to 85. In that ballpark. It's pretty wild to not be missing 25 people from that list.

25 questions. That's interesting. Maybe 25. I think a lot of them were probably two women at the same time. Exactly. Does that count, though? Sure. Or is that one?

That. I think it, no, it definitely counts as two. Yes, two. I think it, no, it definitely counts as two. Yes, two, body. But I think that it, are you talking about penis and vagina penetration

or are we saying what if there's a fucking cock and mouth? You know what I mean? I think that doesn't count. If I make you laugh, you're my, it's enough.

If I make you genuinely laugh. Welcome to Nikki's collection. Notch. Thank you, kid. Yeah, well, rich get richer. Welcome to Nikki's collection. Notch. Thank you, Kim. Rich get richer. Welcome to the club. Hey, what do you think an appropriate body count is?

Oof. Great question. Great question. Good question. What's appropriate? I don't think there's an inappropriate one. Actually, inappropriate, I would say. A million.

Yeah, a million is a little much. Anything less? I'd say anything less than anything less than... Wilt Chamberlain and Genghis Khan and you're good. And Fidel Castro. I think you're fine. If you're over 100, maybe you have some addiction thing going on. Sex life. I think over 500 would be an addiction.

Yeah. I don't know. A thousand addiction. A lot of people. That's a lot. That's like you're bound to run into one of. Like 1,000 addiction. Hundreds. A lot of people. That's a lot. That's a lot of people. That's like you're bound to run into one of those people like twice a year. Yeah, but 100, that doesn't feel addiction. I feel like you have to get higher than that for addiction. I don't know. I've lived with a 100-plus clubber in college.

Really? It was just, it didn't seem like he was trying that hard. Right. He just liked to fuck. Just casually got, yeah. You guys think he knows a thousand clubbers? I'm sure I know a thousand clubbers. I bet you know a thousand clubbers.

Oh, I mean, Gaz has a crazy dumb body count. Oh, yeah. Once you're counting at that, that's... Maybe not a thousand. A thousand has... I'm going to say that. I don't think a thousand is a healthy number. It's a lot.

That's why you've got to check yourself. I think it depends on what your job is. Tyler Cameron over 1,000. Porn star? If you're a professional athlete, 1,000? Dude. I would love to see the count, like a pro athlete, of how many of those women, say he sleeps with 1,000,

how many of those women got off, and I bet it's like three. Yeah. No chance. It's no maybe one to three i mean think about drake he almost he almost proposed to 85 women that necklace he had that's that necklace was already made and then he said he added a number because like what what if the if he if it was like 10 less women he would have wore a short ass necklace you don't believe drake? I think that Drake is a very generous lover, too. Everyone's saying that Drake, like, these people didn't get off. Have you heard the accounts of Drake's lovemaking? He loves?

There's, like, a written testimonial of his lovemaking, and they say that, first off, he is very generous, makes sure that the woman goes first, basically on hands and knees. But I think they also said cocaine dick. Mmm. Is that a good or a bad thing? Cocaine dick, I think.

Sounds good to me. Yeah, I think that's a good thing. What did you say again? Only chance I have of lasting long. Coke. Coke can dick. Oh, I thought you said cocaine dick. I thought you said cocaine dick.

I was like, yeah. Cocaine dick. It works for me. Cocaine dick. Oh, yeah. Oh. That's for... Oh, yeah. Oh. That's for. Oh, that's smart.

That's so women can't steal his seed. That's so he creates a Marvel character for his son. Yeah. The flame. The human torch. Johnny Storm. Dude, remember when, like, this is real, like, old school stuff that never would have flied today.

Remember when ESPN did a starting nine of Jeter's girlfriends? Yeah. As a graphic. Can you try to find that, TJ? Yeah. As a graphic. Did they put the ugliest one as catcher? I don't know.

There was no ugliest one. No, there's not. While he looks for that, the Yak calendar's back. Limited time. It is so fucking funny this one i was tj is a cat in steven chay's flooded street uh but these are all yeah the the tnm and square one might be oh yes yeah that might be we won't show that one but there's some didn't think about that and then why why is it's just like, is it TJ in a box?

I don't know. It's in a box. Stephen Che is a tree in Brandon Walker's Pet Cemetery. That's a pretty good one. It's a very good calendar, so go buy it. Limited time. Re-release. Did you find the Derek Jeter starting nine?

I still can't believe they did that. there's some funny things that you think about the other one that I I oftentimes uh will like just laugh about is yeah look at this wow oh my god Kelly yeah they even had a DH look at that wow that was on ESPN the other one that I think of is when the Blackhawks played the Flyers in the Stanley Cup and they

did I think it was Chicago paper did Chrissy Pronger and put him in a dress hilarious yeah like imagine if they did that today

yeah what if he actually wears dresses it's just some of that shit makes me laugh where people are just or just like Pat Burrell like walking around

in like a gimp suit. Yeah. I guess that's not fucked up. Pat the Bat has 10,000. Yeah. His body count is crazy. Insane.

My friend's sister My friend's sister hooked up with him. Oh hell yeah. Everybody if you go anywhere in Philadelphia they'll have like

some story about Like our six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Yeah. 100% is. Pat Burrow fucked his way through that city. Good for him. At the bat.

At the bat. They said that when you have sex with someone, it splits your soul in half. Whoa. So imagine how little soul he has left. Where does the other half of the soul go? It goes into the other person. Then you get that other person's half then. He's got a bunch of halves.

Oh. And just a little bit of his own. Oh no. But that means he has like a shitload of souls. Oh you got a ton of halves. You got a ton of half-bitch souls. He's diverse as hell. Yeah. Diverse and white women. Oh Path of Bat was only white women?

Well maybe not Maybe white men too That gimp picture Yeah, there's also Yeah, there's definitely a point Where if you fuck so much I'm just like You're gay, you're gay

You had to fuck a dude at some point Like it's not even It just is what it is Not even that But if you haven't settled down With somebody after that much Try a guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Try a dude. Right on for size. Right. He just locks in when he fucks his first dude. Damn, what have I been missing? Oh, so this is love. This is what I've been searching for.

Hole. Asshole. I've been looking for man ass. Yeah. Odell Beckham's probably got a pretty nice count up there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Single? No, is he single? I's probably got a pretty nice count up there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Single?

No, is he single? I thought he was a kid on the way. That doesn't mean he can't be single. He had one. He had one? Yeah, yeah. That don't mean nothing. I would say he's the most in the NFL, and the next person he has double the amount.

Wow. Odell? That's my claim. I bet that there's probably low-key guys who just have- Stephon Diggs. Yeah, there was like a story, yeah. What? It was the Vikings players of just like,

who would you not want to date your sister? And everybody was like, I don't even want Diggs near my sister. There was another story of him having... Some girl was like, yeah, he put me up in a... He put me up in the same hotel as them when they were on the road. Didn't pay for rooms.

I can't remember. And then his appearance on Family Feud. Yeah. Oh, play that clip. Oh, you've never seen this clip? Oh, my God. It's so fucking funny. He is the man.

I like him. It's also just Steve Harvey doesn't get enough credit for just being the best. His reactions in those moments. He would crush in the silent movie era. Yeah. He's just so fucking good. That one and the guy barking at the tits. Yeah.

Talking about two family. You find both of those? I reposted that one a couple times. There was a really old one before Steve Harvey, and it was the fast money round. I think the guy answered turkey for every answer. That's an all-time family. Was he right? They were pretty good answers.

Good answer, good answer, good answer. That's an all-time family. Was he right? They were pretty good answers. Good answer, good answer, good answer. Stefan Diggs giving that kid the shoes was, it definitely made me. Yeah. I saw the tweet this morning. Was that like yesterday? I think it was yesterday, yeah. Stefan. All right, man.

Your boy Gerald did pretty good. Gerald got 136 points. You need 64 to win. You ready? Got you. All right, let's remind everybody of Gerald's answers. 25 seconds on the clock, please. Here we go. We asked 100 married women,

if men wore loincloths, what size would your husband wear? Medium. Name something a squirrel might do if another squirrel stole its nuts. Beat him up. Try again. Steal it back. How many rounds do most boxing matches go? Twelve.

Finish this phrase. Leave it what? In. Name something specific. Name something specific people put... I got an outfit to... Is this...is this real? Oh, my God.

Oh, no! All right, we got to ask this last one. Take your time. Here we go. Listen to me. Name something specific people put in their mouths when they're sick. Thermometer. All right, let's go.

Good answer. Good answer. That's a great answer. What he hears the most. Yeah. And then the guy barking at the dogs. Dog is the best. I mean, they were nice tits.

It's got some... Get him, Carly, get him, yeah. Distract him. Distract him. Come on, there he is. And you know he couldn't help it. He just slid out. Slid out.

His family behind him. Yeah, bro. His wife's right there. Oh, that explains the gaze. Okay, let's do this. Play that again. That was such a delicate loop. Get him, Carly, get him, yeah. Distract such a delicate woof. Get him, Carly.

Get him, yeah. Distract him. Distract him. Come on, there he is. That's just fucking peak masculinity. Couldn't help it. His wife was probably like, I understand, honey. You're a man.

Oh, man. Whatever happened with us going on a family feud, did it work out? We tried. We had a contact with them, and the contact that works it. Celebrity family feud and family feud are different. Family feud apparently is extremely strict.

You have to be blood related. Celebrity family feud, that contact works at're just we're just hung up on that first word there yeah yeah yeah we're just we're just bad

it would be so great it's so stupid that they I'll reach back out to them though yeah I mean why like I don't want to toot our own horn but

a lot of people would watch that oh a ton of people would watch yeah I did it an extremely descriptive email saying all they would get I don't know how we would cut it down to five two teams we'd have to oh yeah yeah Oh, a ton of people would watch that. I did an extremely descriptive email saying all they would get. I don't know how we would cut it down to five.

Two teams. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or tryouts. Or we'd just play feud and whoever got the highest scores. Yeah. No, whoever got the worst scores I think would have it. Yeah. I think what they do is they ask you to send like seven, and then they have like an off-air run,

and then they choose who gets to play on TV. Because a former employee of ours, his family went, but he didn't get to play. Oh. Who? A employee that left the company on bad terms. Moosh. No. Ah.

Ah. Not Moosh. What if Brandon Walker bounces his tits at somebody And they bark A little jiggle from Brandon TJ will you show that picture I sent you Jerry and I

We're mini-me's For advisors Yeah Look great We look great Look at us Great pick. Two of us.

Stu Feiner was screaming in the street today and just a crowd was forming as he screamed. I don't even think anyone was filming him. I think he was just screaming. Yeah, he just rocks off. He just screams. Guy just loves to scream. Have you guys seen the viral,

that kid dressed up as Austin Powers and somebody was doing man on the street with him and he just goes, groovy baby? Have you seen it, TJ? Have you? He's so uncomfortable, doesn't know what to do. Goochman tweets it a lot. What was the answer to

leave it blank? Alone was the number one. Or B. The beaver. Can we spin this wheel? Yeah. Let me do the other ad. Hello Fresh.

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TJ. Spin that shit. Name, name, name, name, name. Oh, dry. Yeah, we got a name. Oh! Okay. Lanes on TJ. We actually can eat a name.

Interesting. If it lands on TJ. All right. There you have it. I think Jerry has a name wheel, doesn't he? Yeah. You do? What's on it?

I forget. Yeah, what is on it, Jerry? Is it where you owe each other? Isn't it just... I don't know. The bottle? You owe him a bottle? You see Jerry's name wheel?

It's up there, right there, the green one. No, I know, but he has the secondary wheels. Do-do-do-do. I'm pretty sure he has the secondary wheels. I'm pretty sure he has a wheel. Yeah, right there. Yeah. 1,000 from Big Cat, Baccarat 540 to Big Cat. Wow.

Jeez. That's pretty good. Not travel size either. Yeah, no. No. You want to put Brandon on there too? Make sure everyone's on there. Even if they're not here. Dude Dude that Zah fact on the prep sheet

That he isn't going to exist for one day Is fucking nuts Say it Can you read it KB Zah off to Zimbabwe to see family He'll literally never live that day Wow He skipped the middle

Flight left at 9pm last night 12 last night, 12-hour flight to Dubai, 12-hour time difference. He'll literally never live that day. So the Earth's just spinning under him. He's not going to miss that day. Oh, I mean, he hits it while he's in the air, but, yeah, on land he's not going to live that day. He's in a plane.

Yeah, he does. Yeah, I guess he did live that day. Living required. Right, right. Who canceled that fact? I did. He's in a plane. I guess he did living require me. Right, right. Who came up with that fact? I did. Oh, yeah, okay. That makes sense.

I mean, he still is living on the plane during that day. Kind of. 100%. What do you mean? His life is suspended. Yeah, his life is suspended. So what time is he arriving? 12 hours later. So 9 p.m. to 9 a.m., but it's a 12-hour flight and a 12-hour time.

So he's landing at 9 p.m. the next day. So he exists that day. For a 24-hour period, he's disconnected from the Earth and time. I got Wi-Fi. Definitely has Wi-Fi. Life is suspended. So that's just any time you take a flight anywhere. In one direction, right?

But that's like a crazy 12 hours flight plus 12 hour time difference. I lose my mind on that flight. Because you can fly back in time, right? He also hates flying. Hates it. And he's doing a 12 hour flight. Oh my God.

But when he flies back, he'll live a day twice. Yeah, he gets it back. I was going to say something about it. Say it. Is every seat, like, first class for him? Oh. Because you... I'm not mean in that way, but you know what I mean?

I think his worst thing is the dangle. I think he doesn't like the dangle. Oh, that does suck. You're right. First class, I think his worst thing is the dangle I think he doesn't like the dangle oh that does suck you're right first class I think kicks back a little bit to support the back of the leg so I think the dangle

but maybe you just throw a bag underneath it would you be relieved if you're like okay here's my seat and it's next to him yeah oh yeah

there's nothing worse than sitting next to a guy like me where it's like shoulders fighting for armrests I don't know his house got a fat ass, bro. His house is filling out that shit.

Yeah, he's fucking thick with many C's. I miss him. Song boy. I miss him. I hope he gets back soon and not suspended to get back in the country. That would be terrible. Why that happens? Well, he's got some visa shit he's got to work out,

so there's like a potential that he might not be back for a month, which would be a big time bummer no one to welcome him back with the kb's wild yeah i mean he's the best yeah that's the best uh all right spin it whoa i think i'm on there twice yeah what are you trying to pull it'll land on tj it doesn't matter. Yeah, TJ's just rigging his fucking wheel for him. Oh, you son of a bitch. You should have got rid of that one. I don't remember what's on your wheel. I think it's mostly fun, friendly stuff.

I think mine was a good vibes wheel. Like ice cream sund Sunday parties on there. Ooh. All right. Let's see what we got. Turtleneck Week, Fishbowl Friday. What's LA? What is that?

La Saab? I don't remember. Yeah, I think all mine are nonsensical as well. All psychic. You must have written it down somewhere, Kate. Butt quarters, suck cock. We'll worry about La Sab if it lands on it. What's fart eliminator?

What the fuck? What the fuck, Kate? Do any of this? No good vibe stuff on me. You don't know any of this? Anyway. Oh, crap. Oh, this is bad.

Fart eliminator? Definitely not seeing make a sundae on there. I don't see make a sundae anywhere. I see suck caucus. Yeah. What the fuck? I see butt quarters. Waf sob.

Butt quarters. I sure as hell see Fart Eliminator. You know any of these? I don't see Sunday. Do you know any of these? I'm crying because I don't. I remember the winemaker. What?

The winemaker was the... You have to eat. You have to make wine with your feet. Okay. I thought I had laugh circle in here. Is that what laugh sob is? It might be. No way.

Yeah, there's nothing good here. This is a bad vibes wheel. Yeah. I actually don't want to spin this because I don't want anyone to have to do anything on here. We don't even know what it means. All right, so Succaucus is a play on Succaucus. Right. Would you have to do anything on here. We don't even know what it means. Alright, so Succaucus is a play on Succaucus. Right. Would you have to do... Succaucus.

Succaucus in the U.S. I think it's just take a train to Succaucus and back. Immediately. And then come right back. Oh, Jesus. Okay, that's... Is everyone in? Is everyone in? Succaucus is very close to here. I understand, but I have shit I got to do, but I'm in.

I have to do a lot of stuff this afternoon, but I will go immediately to Secaucus. Everyone's in. Yep. All right. No choice. I think Fart Eliminator was like, everyone's here until somebody farts, and then they can leave the show. Oh, I like that.

Yes, that is what that is. Somebody has to fart. I'm all farted out. You are? Does everyone have to fart? I think it's everyone. Yes, that is what that is. Somebody has to fart. I'm all farted out. Does everyone have to fart? I think it's everyone. No, no. Well, originally it was everyone, but that's insane. One person has to take one for the team.

Oh, I think everyone's got to fart. No, because one is too easy with a lot of people. I think you just have to stay on until you fart. You fart, yeah, and then you get to leave. You get to do what you want. Yeah, in the mic. Oh, man, that's so embarrassing. Oh, you got to do it.

I'm staying on all day. Best of my life. I don't have anything. I love that. Yeah, in the mic. Oh, man, that's so embarrassing. Oh, you got to do it. I'm staying on all day. Best of my life. I don't have anything. I love that. That's a great one. Fart Eliminator. Yeah. If we get time to prepare, like, yeah, that's...

No, no, no, no. Fart Eliminator happens. Stop is now. Prepare the fart. No, you have to fart now. That just means eat. Yeah, that means eat. I could fart many times right now.

Yeah? I'm worried about it. That's good. I think I could squeeze one times right now. Yeah? That's good. I think I could squeeze one. I might need someone to squeeze my belly. I'd have to lay down on my side. I can't fart. I have to drink this. I can't fart either.

I literally sit on the toilet until there's no farts in me in the morning. I fart myself. You empty your farts out? I do. There's never been a point in my life where there's been no farts in me. No way. Always have farts in me. You're a windbag, bro.

If I'm somewhere where I can't fart for like an hour, I get a stomachache. Alright, let's do a demo run. I'm not going to let out my farts now. Oh, you can't. Let's spin the wheel. Let's spin the wheel. You don't have any. Fart Eliminator is so funny.

Oh, no. Fish Bowl Friday. What is that? Okay, no. Fish Bowl Friday. What is that? Okay, so for Fish Bowl Friday, I'm going to buy a small aquarium. I'm going to fill it with a crazy liquor drink, like a terrarium, and then I'm going to get super long straws. Oh, that's awesome. And we can't leave the room until we finish the aquarium.

I like that. That's pretty fun. That's the first week of January, that first Friday, because we're not here on this Friday. We have the Christmas special. So yeah, the first Friday we're back. Yeah, fun. It's Bowl Friday. I'm going to put nerds at the bottom.

Oh, that's great. Some Swedish fish in there, black ice. That's going to be a lot of fun. That's going to be great. Fish Bowl Friday is awesome. Yeah, Fish Bowl Friday. That's a good vibe. We're going to have the straws at our seats.

Yeah. That's what I'm trying. I'm going to get super long novelty straws. Oh, that's going to be great. That'll be fun. Yeah. Fish Bowl Friday to get super long novelty straws. Oh, that's going to be great. It'll be fun. It's Bowl Friday. It's good. Thank God.

I think we got it. I want to play Fart Eliminator so bad. Let's do a demo run. Add Fart Eliminator to my wheel, TJ, please. Oh, I don't want Fart Eliminator. Actually, add Fart Eliminator

to the real wheel. I don't want a video of me playing Fart Eliminator a lot. I don't want anybody to ever hear me fart. I know. Oh, I forgot about you.

You got to do it in the mic. You have to do it in the mic as you walk out. I know, I'm chilling. Yeah, as you walk out. Someone shits themselves. Someone's going to shit themselves. You try and fart that hard, you shit yourself. Take off Lomo Saltado and replace it with Lomo.

Yeah, replace it with Lomo. Fart Eliminator's Lomo spot. Right now, Kyle? Fart Eliminator's Lomo spot. Right now, Kyle? Fart Eliminator's so funny. I can't. I just tried. And you can just walk out right away if you have to fart. Yeah.

I just farted. I heard it. Would that count? Well, no, you'd have to do it in the mic. Certainly was a fart. Yeah, that counts. As you walk out, you have to do it in the mic. Then you could leave.

It was a stinky cloud that came from that. That took me maybe half a second to get a fart out. Oh, Rowan, you're going to be screwed. You're going to have to start eating beans. I'm going to have to start bringing a fart. Yeah, you are. Start bringing a fart. You always got to come with a loaded chamber to the act.

The day I forget to bring a fart is the day it'll land on there. One in the chamber, Nick. It's at home on my counter. Fuck. Wallet keys fart. Oh, no. If I just have one Swedish fish, I'll be farting for hours. That's it?

Yeah. Swedish fish make me fart like crazy. What the fuck? We need to keep some on deck then. Yeah. Let's just keep a little pack of emergency Swedish fish in some glass that we can break. It's like a cyanide capsule in your mouth at all times. A Swedish fish on a necklace. The fart eliminator comes up. On a Swedish fish on a necklace.

There's got to be, too, like the last one to fart. There's got to be some kind of like. Yeah, well, you'll just be on the show yourself. Yeah. Yeah, you'll just be sitting here by yourself. Solo show, yeah. Well, what mic are we farting into? We need a designated fart.

That one. We should just buy a fart mic. Yeah. Yeah, because then you'll see other people on their shows talking to what we know as the fart mic. Can we lav up our asses? Ooh. Would you clip it to the back of your balls? Your grundle?

Your ball skin. Yeah, you just hook it right to your grundle. I need to. Wait a minute. We should do an episode where somebody's asshole is mic'd and they have to guess who's asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guess that hole. Guess the hole.

Oh, my God. It's that ass. Fart Eliminator is fantastic. Yeah, I've grown to like it, but I just don't like that there's going to be a video of me out there. Yeah, you got to do it. Yeah. I'm going to be so mad if we get it and I'm not here.

What about a sneeze wheel? Something like that. I think I could pull a sneeze out at any time. You can't pull. Try to do a sneeze. I just had one coming. That's what I think of it. I couldn't make one.

Sneeze wheel is really hard. It's just a long ass episode. Yeah. I could do it pretty easily. What are you doing? Oh, you're going to put something up your nose? I pull a nose hair. Usually that works, but.

Oh. No, I don No, I lost it. No way. That's working? Looks like it's working. I feel like we should look away for privacy. Frank behind you is so perfect. Yeah. Kyle's G-spot is just in his nose Oh my god it's so close

And you think about other people We can't end the show until Kyle sneezes Oh god Fake one fake one What the fuck? It feels wrong to play. Do we need like a longer? The guy who's got brain injury right now, this might not be the smartest.

He's got tears coming down. I see real tears coming down his eyes. He's scraping his brain. Dude, what the fuck? It's in his frontal cortex. Come on, buddy. Scratch that long COVID off. Oh, no. He just had it. Look, he's crying. Come on, buddy. Scratch that long comb it off. Oh, no.

He just had it. Look, he's crying. He's going longer. Go tear. Oh, no. Come on, Kyle. Fuck. Oh.

Oh. Oh, he's cheering. Come on, Kyle. Come on, Kyle. Come on, Kyle. Oh, no. Kyle. A lot of pressure.

Can he do it? Come on, my man. You can do it, Kyle. Start pulling a nose hair. That got me close. Oh, his nails are too short to pull a nose hair. Look at the snot. Look at the snot coming out of the other nose. Oh!

Come on, fuck. Come on, Kyle. Christ. I mean, at this point, it might just be a random sneeze. Yeah. He might nut. 187th of an orgasm. Wrong nostril.

Yes! Let's go! Simple as that. I'm almost there. Way to go. Only cost you your sanity. Jerry, have you ever tried to bet on college wrestling? Can't.

I wish we had it. There was, like, ways. Would you hammer it? Oh, yeah. But it'd be tough, like, in the beginning. You guys got to go to nationals. I want to go to Tulsa. Two of you, yeah.

Video. Yeah. That'd be really funny. I want to go so bad. I've never been. Go. Yeah. Great comedy. That'd be really funny. I want to go so bad. I've never been. Go. You've been?

Like, you went? AC? No. St. Louis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, I wish. That was a couple years ago, right? Yeah, 19. Did you do a video on it for Barstool?

No, I was just taking pictures and blogging. Okay. It's good. Fuck you up. Yeah, man. No, it feels good. Crying? Yeah.

Barstool should get college wrestling lines. I think it would be easy to bet that's probably why they don't want to do it like rby to win by six points or like you know what i mean yeah finals national the finals would be like probably like one one point right spread to most of the matches um oh in most yeah because they're never really blowouts, right? There's been years. There's some – I don't know about this year. Yeah.

Spencer Lee maybe. Yeah. Your boy from Wisconsin is a bully. Really? Oh, he's a bully. He beat – whatchamacallit? Gianni, yeah. It was insane.

Rolled him too. Looking like 9-3 or something like that yeah he's a beast he lets it all out there yeah love that guy you guys gotta get on Rogan bro talk some combat sports

yeah I'll be pretty cool let's see if we can put that together who do we hit up about that I don't know ping department

Kelly Martin got it I know you're on maternity leave Kelly but you think you could get Jerry and KB King Department. Kelly Martin. Got it. I know you're on maternity leave, Kelly, but you think you could get Jerry and KB on rogues? That would be so fucking awesome. Oh, man. I think that would be a good fit.

Great fit. I've got to do some taping. Do you want to keep yakking? Nah. We have to record here, too. You got to do a bunch of shit. We got to record. Thank God it's not Secaucus. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be like a very busy day. How long of a train is it? It's like 15 minutes. Oh, it would have fucked me up so bad. So much shit I have to do. It would have probably 45 minutes out of your life. Is there an Auntie Anne's at the Secaucus train station?

No. That would have been all worth it. God, no. It was going to be like two hours. That's one of the changes. I don't know where it is. You just go on and you stand in the bathroom the whole time and then just go back. You don't even buy a ticket.

Yeah. I've done that before. Is this handshake going down? I think so. We're going to try it. Right now? I think they talked privately. Handshake?

I think they talked privately. Do Enrico, yeah. What the hell would they say? I don't know. It's private. Where is it happening? I know they went private before. I don't know.

I got to figure out where both of them are right now. Is Rico here? Yeah. It's happening on the roof. Yeah. You wouldn't believe what happened. It was a tragedy.

Last scene of The Departed. Yeah. Everyone here tomorrow? Yeah. All right. I have nothing tomorrow, so we can go long. Promise to the people. Should we do something tomorrow, like have donuts or something?

I'm going to bring hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. Bring hoagie dip. Hoagie dip Wednesdays. I hope we get fart eliminator. I got another one. No, you don't.

Oh, sassy. Oh, did you hear it? No. No, thank you. Silent. All right, see everyone. I would have been free. Yeah, you would have.

You wouldn't have? I didn't hear that. I fully farted. I fully farted. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Oh, no. It's the act.