The Yak - Whats The Most Significant Thing Thats Ever Happened On January 26? | The Yak 1-26-22

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Big Cat just isnt a wheel guyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Maybe he just walked out into the bathroom. So we'll save it, TJ, until he gets back. The fuck? That was so fucked. He did that just for his birthday. He wants to make his entrance special. Because his entrance when the cameras weren't on was very special

I think he thought the cameras were on Cause he came in like at 1 at 1 No he came in a little bit late He came in and did a dance And then we And then he ran out Here he comes I restart the show TJ

Music Yeah, here he comes. I restart the show, TJ. Yeah. Music. No, no, no. Here we go. It's the act. Hey, boys. It's the act. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. So, welcome to the act. January 26th. I have something special planned. TJ? I figured we'd just all... Oh, no. Kobe Bryant.

The anniversary of Kobe's death. Go around the room. And there was no doubt in his mind that he was ready. And his daughter. Let's talk about his Kobe moments. at the A-Stage. And there was no doubt in his mind that he was ready. And his daughter. My 8th grade teacher, Mr. Mastriano, his wife taught Kobe at Lower Marion and said that Kobe would come back just to hang out with the teachers and say hi

because he's just that good of a guy. That's awesome. No cameras, nothing. It's tough to lose somebody like that. I think the biggest thing for me is going forward, January 26th just has a somber feel to it. It really does. Because you can remember exactly where you were. Remember exactly where you were. Remember when we lost Kobe.

It's crazy that he DJs with Chicken Fry now. Yeah, that's wild. Who? Kobe? Oh, no. Kobe. Kobe would. Kobe would have loved chicken fries.

It's also the 19-year anniversary of the Bucks winning the Super Bowl. No, you ruined it. All right. Happy birthday, KB. Happy birthday, KB. I genuinely did not like that. I was actually kind of upset about your prank, and that just made me realize how stupid it all is.

Steven was being serious. I was joking. He really is like, today's the day that the Bucs won the Super Bowl. Look at him. He's smiling. 19 years. What's your year 2003? Cut his mic.

Sunny day in San Diego. What are your guys' favorite things about Kyle? Actually, do you want to get bitches in here about Kyle? Actually, um... Do you want to get bitches in here, Kyle? Well, no, I have bitches. I said I wanted some new pussy. You want a new pussy? All right, so if there's any new pussy watching

and want to swing by the office... I actually did have something planned. I had some new pussy that was going to come in. For a dick appointment for Kyle? Word, word. For strippers? Yeah, for KB. A dick appointment for my dog?

I ain't going to lay it, lay it, but we'll talk. You ain't going to lay it, lay it? You might want to lay it, lay it. Why would you want to lay it, lay it? I'm not going to lay it, lay it here. But on your birthday, what better day to lay it, lay it? I'll talk shop, shop, but I'm not going to lay it, lay it. You're bugging, bugging, bro.

You're off it, off it. No, bro. What the fuck are you smoking? Are you looking for a new side or a new main? A sneaky link? Someone asked how far I would travel for a sneaky link. What'd you say? I don't know.

What'd you say? I said not quite to a new time zone, but very close. Kyle. Detroit. Like Indianapolis. Ooh. All right. I don't know. What did you say? I said not quite to a new time zone, but very close. Kyle. Detroit. Like Indianapolis. Ooh. All right.

Hypothetically. So some new pussy in Indianapolis is what we're looking for. All right. TJ, search that. Tactical digs. Maybe Owensboro, Kentucky. Ooh. That's specific as all hell. Kyle, do you like milfs?

I like hot young moms who are hot because they're hot. Because I got one for you. This is a new pussy. Get the fuck out of here. Don't ruin my day, Nate. Do not ruin my day.

Kate and I talked beforehand and I said, Kate, hey, you know, she loves Kyle. Yeah. So, like, hey, maybe we put together something for Kyle's birthday. She said, I'm going to find everyone's earnest thoughts about Kyle. Manion, don't. And she's going to. Don't fuck up your career. She's going to share them with you.

This could be Kyle's birthday. Let's go, Kate. Yeah. Great to share them with you. This could be good. For Kyle's birthday. Let's go, Kate. Great to see you, Kate. An absolute pleasure. Thank you, Kyle. You and me go a long way back. I know we're really good friends for a long time.

We talked about today, but I've been working on this for a few weeks with all the women of Barstool. We all got together. Proceed. But we all got together and we wrote you something that we feel from the heart. Okay. That is so nice. And I know like, oh, it's the act. We joke around, but this is serious.

Okay. Kyle, we want to start by letting you know, because of you, our life has purpose. That's so nice. You helped us be who we are today. We see ourselves in every word you say. Trapped in a world where everyone hates us, there's so much that we're going through. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Wow.

What an impact. What do you think? I love it so far. Well, I've got a lot more. Please keep going. Please keep going. We all wrote a part of this. Okay.

We were broken. We were choking. We were lost. What is this about? Your jokes on Rediscovering America saved our lives. Wow. We were bleeding. We stopped believing.

Your bits on the shopping network saved our lives. Wow. These are all things I did as well. We were down. We were drowning. Your bits on the shopping network saved our lives. Wow. These are all things I did as well. We were down. We were drowning. But it came on just in time. Your Instagram submission blogs saved our lives.

I've done that too. Sometimes we feel like you've known us all forever. You always know how to make us feel better. We are so much closer than we used to be. All the women here and you. You're our escape when we're stuck in this small town we turn up your anus whenever we feel down okay this could be mine as well you let us know like no one else that it's okay to be ourselves staunch feminist because of you our life has purpose You helped us be who we are today.

You're our escape when we're stuck in this small town. We replay the parts of yours on the yak when we feel down. We were lost. Your wrestling anecdotes saved our lives. I was bleeding. Stop believing. You could have died. We could have died all the way in here.

We were down. We were drowning. But you came around just in time. KB, you saved our lives. We were down. We were drowning. But you came around just in time. KB, you saved our lives. This is amazing. Some people would say that that's a 2013 Simple Plan song. I knew it sounded familiar. I have one question,

Kate. KB, today's his birthday. He saved your lives. Do you think he could have done more in maybe saving Kobe's life who died today? Two years ago. Two years ago. Did you guys, all the girls, like collectively? And his daughter.

We all wrote that together. Yeah. I wish that you would have done more for that. Yeah. You could have. Do you guys actually play back some of my- Look at him. Here's Kobe.

We sit around. He's so good. Not even top 10 Donchich is better Now you're hating Wow okay Now you're fucking hating Kate that was beautiful

Kate that was That was beautiful That was incredible I really appreciate that Yeah I feel like you wrote it all yourself So just let me know Who else wrote that

Yeah who else wrote We all did Someone give you all the flowers But I don't want to If it was just Anyone from Indianapolis Or single That KB maybe could link with sneakily? No.

Also, Kate, just forget the first five minutes when I promised Kyle that I had some new puss for him. No. You're the opposite. It's pretty old. 35. You're the opposite? Yeah. Are you the old guy? Old and told. You're the opposite. Yeah. Are you a bitch guy?

Old and told. Told, puss. All right. Thank you, Kate. Happy birthday, Kyle. Thank you, Kate. I actually really appreciated that. That was beautiful.

The real girl, yeah. Yeah, it was very sweet. Yeah. Dump it in there. Oh, no, that was awkward. Is she still here? Draping around. She took her time.

Good night. Hang on. They'll linger a little longer. I really appreciated that. Kate is the best. Chicks love you, dude. That meant a lot to me. I feel like she wrote it herself.

She did. That's a fact. She's going to go up on my totem pole. People I like Where was she She was Very near the top We need someone to go down

On your pole though We need to figure out Someone to go the other way Easily Yeah What can we do for that Cause that was nice But that was kind of

More of a tribute And you need a trial Not a tribulation Yeah that's right Same thing And Like I said That could have been A poem for me as well It's not your birthday tribute. And you need a trial, not a tribulation. Yeah, that's right. And, like I said, that could have been a poem for me as well. It's not your birthday, Nick. Stop trying to take his spotlight.

It's not your birthday. I want a present, too. Buy yourself something. What did you get him? What did I get, KB? Yeah. I tried to go pick it up today, but they wouldn't let me. Is it a loin? No.

KB, my friend, I got you one of the few flags that they fly over the 9-11 memorial. No, you didn't. What do you mean you got it? I bought it. How much? Triple digits. Are you serious?

It comes in tomorrow. How many Musgraves tickets is it? No, it's not tomorrow. Wow. How many Musgraves tickets is it? How many Musgraves? No, it's not a Musgrave. Not even a full Musgrave? I would much rather have a... Is it from the 9-11? Yeah, they wouldn't let me in the museum this morning to get it, pick it up.

They were like, we have to ship it to you, which was ridiculous. Because I didn't have a ticket. It flew over? It's one of the ones they just keep around the memorial, and then when they take it down, they frame them. And sell them. What? They fold it? That's actually a genius

game worn it's a game used flag but that's a genius fucking so they can just they can just sell game used flags every day

that's probably what they do every day it's incredible I'd change it every hour yeah they upcharge them just because they flew above the memorial

wow what a wreck no yeah I got scammed I think it goes to a good cause buying more flags The memorial. Wow. Wow. What a wreck. No. Yeah, I got scammed. I think it goes to a good cause. Yeah, sure. Buying more flags?

Yeah. George Bush's wallet. The flag. Yeah, going right to his pocket. Also, it just looks like a normal flag to people you don't want to explain it to. It looks like... Well, it has like... You're going to be explaining. It has the Twin Towers in the bottom corner of the frame.

Oh, my God. Up or down? Post. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, nice. Kyle, or down? Post. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, nice. Kyle, what a day.

This is great. Where are you going to stow it, the flag? I'm going to hang it in my room. No, I thought it was triangle. It's triangle like a soldier died. And it's like wooden. I don't have any conventional flags. Can I see your apartment this year?

My apartment, I have the Nepal flag hanging. It's a good flag. Solid flag. Top 25 flag. Is it jagged? Yes. It's got a jagged edge. It's a good flag. Solid flag. Top 25 flag. Six-sided. Is it jagged? Yes. It's got a jagged edge.

It's the only national flag like that. How old are you today, Kyle? 29. 30? Pretty much. 30th year. You're in your 30th year now. That's right.

All right. All right, boys. Yesterday was big. Let's not make it about me. No, it's your birthday. It's your birthday, Kyle. It's about us. This is a Kyle birthday show. Let's not make it about me. No, it's your birthday. This is a Kyle birthday show.

Let's not get complacent. Do we have a loin on the way? I assume we have multiple loins on the way. Well, didn't I request a belly? Well, we thought loin would be easier to share. Oh, yeah. And you like loin. The loin is fine. Loin's better for lunch.

Begrudgingly. It's fine, by all means. I thought you agreed to the loin. It's not a bad dish. I thought that you were kind of okay with it. Yeah, it's fine. By all means. I thought you agreed to the loin. It's not a bad dish. I thought that you were kind of okay with it. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, it seems like you're making a little bit of a stink. A loin is easier to share than belly.

We'll find you some belly. We'll find you some belly. For your 30th birthday, too. I mean, wait, no, it's your 29th, so next year we'll get you the loin. You want the loin, right? You're trying to sell that this is a milestone birthday. It is. Not. Last hurrah of. It is. Not.

Last hurrah of the 20s. No. 29's big. Yeah, 29's kind of big. Not as big as 21, of course, coming up in a few months. And when I post a put-on, if you're old, these mutants on Instagram, they're 40 years old. The put-ons that I post aren't for you. So if you hate it, that pumps me up.

A good put-on doesn't have 100% hit rate. That's what I try to say. There's no such thing as a put-on with a 100% hit rate. Yeah. To you. These people want my put-ons to appeal to them specifically. Like I'm personalizing all my put-ons to them. You should have some put-ons. Like I went through their entire life. You should have some 40 personalizing all my put-ons to them. I went through their entire life.

You should have some 40-year-old put-ons. If you're going to be a public figure... My put-ons are all over the place. You should have put-ons for everybody. But I'm prioritizing young men and girls. You're just putting on women. You're just putting on women. Yes.

What about the turn-on prints? That's Nick. That's Nick. You also don't put on stuff. What's up, boys? Do you put on stuff for women, though? I feel like you're kind of like, but you just said it's for men and women,

but you don't... Do you only put on music? It's your birthday. Yeah, we're not going to fight you on your birthday, but everything you say makes no sense. I put on Jack Wolfskin yesterday. Oh, yeah, What is that? Jack Wolfskin.

It's like a German outdoor brand. And people were sending me screenshots of DMs to you saying, this isn't it. And you were getting angry with them. I was. Yeah. You were responding immediately. Yeah. Don't tell me this isn't it.

It isn't it to you. You're saying put on just subjective? Jesus Christ. How do you not understand it? Just say like, I don't like this It didn't work for me But don't say this isn't it Just say it's photoshopped

This song is successful This musician is successful So it is objectively it If you're just throwing out mass put-ons So don't say it isn't it You didn't like it I didn't put you on Did you start the steroids?

Pipe down, pipe down It feels like you started the cycle. Your veins bursting out of your neck. I just think if you rapid throw out put-ons, it turns you into the Rex Chapman of put-ons. It's therefore devaluing the put-ons. Yes, I'm making myself look very bad. Inflation of put-ons? I'm sorry.

Yeah, I get it. It's like pre-World War II Germany right now. We're just fucking going with wheelbarrows full of put-ons. You're also kind of saying that no one can criticize any artist ever because it's always valid to somebody.

I'm being a huge cunt. I get it. No, it's your birthday. I like that color on you. It's a good color. Yeah, it's a great color. A little peach. And I don't think anybody

else in this room could pull that shirt off. No way. The cut or color. The cut or color. The cut or color. Cut or color. It's like a diamond. The clarity of it's beautiful.

Don't, TJ. What the fuck is a put on? TJ, that's not nice. When did we start doing this? Yeah, put him on to what a put on is. Yeah, do that. It's a free put on. Well, he does have a macho man Randy Savage.

Kyle, can we do a put on hotline? Can somebody call in? They say some things about themselves. You put them on to something. I don't want to put anyone on. For your birthday? Let's say Kyle's number on the air. Put this kid on to put ons.

Oh, yeah. I guess you could do that. Like this is the biggest put on you can do. You don't know what a put on is. You're lost. I don't even know what is that from. I don't know that. Well, he might be putting you on in like the British sense of the word.

Are you putting me on? Oh, a ruse. A ruse, yeah. Taking the piss out of it. Taking the piss. Brandon, nice haircut. You got it, what, 5.01 yesterday? Maybe earlier.

Okay. Maybe right after the act. How are you feeling today, Brandon? I'm feeling good. Feeling great. I had a good day yesterday. Everything's fine. Is there a lot of tension in this office? I think feeling good. Feeling great. I had a good day yesterday. Everything's fine. Tension in this office?

I think the tension's gone. We've all decided to move past it because that's what we do here, right? We just move on. You know, it's Kyle's birthday, too. Can I do a sincere happy birthday? Yeah, please. TJ, cue it up. Nice. Really special to me. It's a clip show. Really, really special to me.

I just like, you know, somebody who changed the world. Happy birthday, Mo Gabba. Oh! Mo! Would have been 16 today. Is it? Yeah.

Damn. Yeah, it is. So it's his birthday, Kobe's birthday. No, it's not Kobe's birthday. Kobe's mom-ba day. He got in a helicopter and tried to go to practice, and they crashed into him. Impacted a lot of people's lives.

It's a tribute to both of them. I'm sure it means a lot to them or their state. You could celebrate today, but I think it should be more of a somber approach today. A lot of things went down. Because Mo Bamba died? That's right. That's exactly right, Adam. The little boy who passed.

Heart of gold. Everyone loved him. Dang. Brandon, I really liked when you were fist pumping as Caitlin was giving her speech. I really have discovered, Owen, that my life should be in a professional wrestling manager type role. I shouldn't be the guy. I should be beside the person in the mix and hyping them up. That's what I should do.

I would disagree. I was hyping her up. I was helping her smack in the table. You're good at that. That was almost a paternal instinct. Sure. Fraternal. Fraternal.

Yes. No. Yes. Fraternal? Yes. Fraternal's family. No, I say the instinct is fatherly, though. Your brother.

Well, her dad's in jail. Somebody's got to be there. Yeah, I think the age gap definitely leaves some fatherly. I could have had a kid at 16. No. I was trying to make it less creepy, but yeah. You look like a tiki mask. You hadn't even come when you were at 16. No. I was trying to make it less creepy, but yeah. You looked like a tiki mask. You hadn't even come when you were at 16.

No, I really haven't. Are you trying to say that you're a dad? I'm not her dad. I'm not her dad. I'm her brother. You just said you could very well be. I could. I'm 42.

She's 26. So you're her dad. I'm not her dad. I have a boy who was raised by his grandma, and he found out pretty deep into his life that his grandma, who he thought was his mom, was actually his grandma, and his sister, who he thought was his sister, was actually his mom. Oh.

Isn't that like the plot of a movie? You just made that up. That's father and daughter. I've heard that story before. No, it's sister. It's just fraternal. I think it's a thing.. I've heard that story before. No, it's sister. It's just fraternal. I think it's a thing. Fraternal?

Fraternal. Okay. But yeah, that made me very happy, Brandon. Oh, yes. Thank you very much. I enjoyed it. It was good. Yeah, big day for the Walkers.

Yeah. She finally got a win. She had right on her side, so she was good. How's she doing? Did you guys drive home together? Oh, yeah. I let her ride in the car. That's nice of you. Nice. What did you guys listen to on the way home? Did you give drive home together? Oh, yeah. I let her ride in the car. That's nice of you.

What did you guys listen to on the way home? Did you give her the aux? We listened to my 90s Spotify. I believe we had some Two Princes last night. A little Spin Doctors. You sit her in the bed of your pickup as you drove home from Manhattan? No, it's actually her. Her in the trunk.

It's actually her car. Her car that I drive home every day. Yeah, you don't want to put miles on yours. No, exactly right. I don't want to park mine in the parking lot, so I take her car and she drives home. I don't let her ride to work. She has to take a train to work and then I drive her car. That's actually true.

Of course. That makes sense. It's not like you guys are leaving from the same house. She likes to get here or she leaves at 8 o'clock. I leave at about 10. Damn. Sheesh. Yeah.

It's a good life. So is anything squashed or is it going to be awkwardly passive or confrontation? I told her to just let it die. That's what I told you. She's in a good spot. I pulled her aside. I said, Caitlin, just take the win.

You're just quoting Big Cat's text. You're just fucking re-gifting my advice. Wins are rare around here. And when you get a win, just take it. So that's what I said to her. It's good for her to have me around for that wisdom and expertise that she can lean on. That's true.

That's true. It's crazy the bloodlust that yesterday brought out in people. Oh, savages here. We were like a bunch of monkeys around two monkeys with like nice fighting and we're just like, ah! Lord of the Flies. Rah!

It's hilarious. Yeah, and then no one decided to come to work today. Yeah. I didn't notice that. Because everyone's exhausted. It is Wednesday. Yeah, you round up

Wednesday to Thursday. Yeah. It's Friday. It rounds up to the weekend. Tuesday is essentially Friday. It's like how five rounds up to ten. Wednesday rounds up to Saturday. And Dave was confirmed in Miami. Like, they're not going to see Dave. He's like how five rounds up to ten. Wednesday rounds up to Saturday.

Dave was confirmed in Miami. They're not going to see Dave. He's in front of a palm tree currently. It would be funny if Dave got here at 8 a.m. one day and just see how packed it could get. If he posted a picture being like, just got to the office. You can walk in and tell if he's here or not.

Every single time. It's like a small town fire alarm. Everyone's just rushing to get into work. There's a cat in the tree. Dave's here or not. Yeah. Yeah. Every single time. It's like a small town fire alarm. It's like, and everyone's just rushing to get into work. There's a cat in the tree. Dave's here. Get the fuck to work. And then I walk in and people that I haven't

seen in like six months act like I'm the one that hasn't been here. Yeah, right. Nick! Long time no see, buddy. What? It's quite a day.

For the culture. For the culture For the culture It's good to have a day like that every now and then Keep you on your toes Cleanse it out I had a great day yesterday I had a good day What'd you do, Sass?

Sass was laughing Had a good yak You were cheesing? Yak was awesome He was cheesing over there Walked home Beautiful outside Went to the grocery store

Wasn't nice to walk yesterday Then I played Apex for five hours straight Fuck yes I didn't win one game. Damn. I didn't win one game. I didn't win one game. I didn't win one game.

I didn't win one game. I didn't win one game. I didn't win one game. Will you get them next time? I know. Tonight? I might not. Tonight.

Tonight you're going to win. Tonight's the night. I never understand those games. You just never win? It's not like a... Close? It's a battle royale. So it's like...

But you never won. Have you got like second? Think of hunger games. Oh no, I've won many times. Only once yesterday was a bad day. We came in second place like a hundred times. Me and my crew. Shows that you're a quitter, that you went to sleep.

TJ, would you be able to carry them? I don't play Apex Legends, but probably. It's a little too fast-paced for you. Sass, I guess you should just get good. Oh, I'm good. I'll start playing. You're literally dog water. And then we can play together.

I already got a team. Oh, I'm good. I'll start playing. You're literally dog water. And then we can play together. I already got a team. Oh, you do? Who's on your squad? Matt. Matt and Nate. You got Bell? Boys. Plug them, plug them.

Wait, Nate Dog? I don't fuck with Bell like that. What's up? Nate Dog? Yeah. Actual Nate Dog? No. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, me and Nate go home and play Apex together. Is the dog getting silenced In any manner The dog hasn't been to work In two months Sheesh Jeske ran out of gas

You just made a powerful Interview I did Rest easy sass I think the dog Had some recipes They had to rest in peace I think it had something

To do with Tico A little scared And Guy Tico Guy Tico Patrick I'm scared of him and i'm on his man tico that is man tico man tico man tico has a nice ring to it yeah man tico it's like a wrestler who is man dingo is he in django unchained yeah that's a slave kyle he was the best no those are two two warriors that have... But also, I believe it's a male porn star with a giant penis.

Yes, that's what I was thinking. Okay. My mind didn't go immediately to slave. Mine did. But that's where it... To a giant penis. That's the genesis of it, though. Yes.

Manticore. Should we spin the wheel or something? I want to spin the wheel. I think we might want to get spy cam going up again too We can't do it today No you cannot hurt something like You cannot tarnish So good

People want it It was good So fuck off It's in our repertoire now In LA We gotta get one in LA We'll do it in LA not Like a film noir

Spy cam could be good for I've already told Pete I want like actual equipment Yeah With like a speaker and everything so you can hear it better and everything. Spycam could be good for the ones like cold showers, stuff like that, so you can go and check and make sure people are doing them. You're sick. Yeah. I don't think you need a spycam.

I just play by the rules. Because one of the balls is you have to watch the person shower every day. Yeah, that is right. Now, there's a lot of ones you can get around. I've thought about them. Oh, jeez. It's a game of integrity. Yeah, it is.

So I did tell Tommy yesterday he's excited to come in and be the... We got a video. Get him a suit. He wasn't excited. Can we post that video? Yeah, I'll send it to TJ. We got to get him a suit. TJ, you got it, don't you?

Will he wear a suit and a top hat with a cane? We get him a really long... got it don't you Yeah Will he wear a suit And like a top hat With a cane Well I mean We get him a really Long stick mic And a tuxedo And a long cigarette too Like Cruella de Vil Yeah a long Cruella de Vil cigarette

A candy cigarette And I want real long tails On the back of his tux coat Yeah You got it Oh no he's smoking Does he want his Zephym pierced

Oh yeah we could pierce him I don't think we can pierce him Or gauges What about gauges That's not really piercing. Should we bring a gravity bong on Friday? That would be fun. We haven't made a gravity bong in a really long time.

Have we ever? It's been a long time. I've never hit a bong. Never is a long time. And honestly, we probably have at some point. In these 29 years, you've never hit one bong. Never hit a bong. You've never hit a bong? Oh, check it out.

Wow, it's trouble. There goes trouble. Rowan, I actually need help from you. A caller on the Brandon Walker show made a... Why are you slightly stroking your mic? Hey, Mr. Rowan, I need some help from you. Hey, Rowan. I know you're busy.

Caller. I'd like to see your piece. I lost the bet and he wants me to get high. He wants me to smoke weed before the Brandon Walker show one day and do a show high. Can you help me out with that? At least I could do. I think, okay, yeah, yeah. You should do that.

One of the ping pong balls should definitely be someone has steak and edible and not tell anyone. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'd send to Nick. I think it'd be funny if someone just had to carry a bong in one hand for a whole day. Empty? Empty or with water in it?

Can you throw it over your shoulder like a bindle? However you want, but only one pong. What about someone has to rip tobacco out of a bong? Yeah. Oh my god. Bong games? The bong games?

What are we doing in our meeting? Friday? Thursday? The pre-show meeting? Have you guys ever heard of Doha? Hmm? Huh? It's the capital of...

I wish we could just fast forward. Is that a city? Is it? It's also like a Middle Eastern tobacco. It's like the highest percentage nicotine. Oh, you've told me about that. Yeah. Isn't it like you throw up or something?

We'll see. We'll get it in the mix. Yeah, we'll get it. What percent nicotine is it? We got to smoke a lucky something cigarettes. Strikes? Is that it? Or a clove or something like that?

A clove of cigarettes. Yeah, that make you dizzy and like fucking, but they taste good and weird and like you die. They taste like Christmas. Yeah, they taste like, yeah, they're very seasonal. I kind of want to get the cigarette ping pong ball. I want it so bad. What is it? The cigarette ping pong ball.

It's a pack a day. Oh, hell yeah. Pack a day, no giving out. Oh my God. A pack a day is so much. Oh no, we said it was going to be three packs over the course of the week. That's what it was. I kind of want Che to get it. Oh. That would be awesome. Oh, he's going Oh, no. We said it was going to be three packs over the course of the week. That's what it was. I kind of want Shay to get it.

Oh. That would be awesome. Oh, he's going to say no. You can't say no. You can't say no. I won't. No, I would. I would just get addicted to cigarettes.

Yeah. That's fine. No. That's essentially what the ball is. It might happen. I think it would be like, thank you for smoking when they put the patches all over the dude and he never wants to smoke again. I think it would be aversion therapy for you.

Overexposure therapy for you so you'd never want to smoke a cigarette. You'd be sick from it. One of my favorite smells is secondhand smoke from a bowling alley or casino, though. No. Is it? Me and Che have talked about this.

So gross. Actual secondhand smoke or the stale smell of someone had smoked here? Yeah, that. That's weird. Secondhand smoke, I get. Actual secondhand smoke is weird, too. Oh, Secondhand smoke, I get. Actual secondhand smoke is weird, too.

Oh, secondhand smoke, I understand, but going into a hotel room and be like, someone was in here smoking. I guess it's room specific because it gets me excited

if I'm going into a casino or a bowling alley being like, fuck, I'm going to have a really good time tonight. Or like a... But if a hotel room, it'd be gross.

A shitty dive bar if people are smoking inside. That's awesome. That's dope. I think the smell of cigarettes inside it's like i don't know everybody's just in the shittiest situation they could be in so it's a mood setter yeah the thing i hate about los angeles is when no matter what like restaurant or bar you go to like everybody's just like looking around to like see who else is there and the shit bothers me it's something you don't get at a dive bar where everybody just minds their own fucking business and has

their own fun. And I would love if we could find some kind of dive bar while we were in LA. I feel like it'll be hard to find though. With the mask mandate? With the fucking mask mandate? Bro. With goddamn Garcetti out there? We gotta go to San Bernardino. Yeah, if we go out to

Bernardino, then maybe we find some fucking real shit. Yeah. We gotta go to San Bernardino. Yeah, if we go out to Bernardino, then maybe we find some fucking... The real shit. Yeah. You wanna go to Bernardino? That's where we're gonna go to the IE. That's where the real heads are. The Empire? Yeah, the Empire.

Okay. They're not fake there. Take me there, bro. I wanna go there. I think any... Like, one hour outside of Los Angeles, it stops being... We got Tommy.

Oh, yeah. He is Tommy. Oh, yeah. He is excited. Oh, look at him. Wake up. You woke him up? We need somebody to come on the yak and take the ping pong balls out of the machine so we can tell us to do something. You good for that?

Okay. It's not Tommy Walker day. You're not the star. You're just going to be. Oh, hello. So excited. You good? Yeah.

You'll take care of You're good? Yeah. You'll take care of it for us? Yeah, I'll try. That's adorable. Are you going to do this for us? Yeah, sure. It's Pops! Let's go.

I like how he started knowingly nodding before... That was hilarious. Also, proof of life. Y'all saw the dog. Yes. That could have been any dog. He's excited. Wait, what is this? What is this bag?

That would be Pork Belly. Oh! That could have been any dog. Wait, what is this? What is this bag? That would be pork belly. Oh! Oh! Belly! Come on, get some pork belly. Open it up. Open up your gift. Everyone got pork belly. Daddy gives the best gift. Yeah. Sit on daddy's lap and eat your pork belly.

Is that nice? Is that what you wanted? Come over here and give me a smooch. Give me a smoochy smooch. It's pork belly. Pork belly. Get in there. We're not saving the bag. Belly time.

It's belly. It's like Brandon's birthday. We're not saving the bag. Belly belly. It is insane, isn't it? There's a couple extras, too, that you can take home with you, Kyle. Daddy always takes care of his babies. Yeah, he does.

I was just sitting on my couch last night. I was like, I'm just going to fucking order a shitload of pork belly. Thank you. Thank you so much. This is some pork belly. Look at that. Pork belly. Oh, wow.

There you go. Kyle, you could pass out the goddamn forks, too. No, it's all right. It's his birthday. It's Kobe's death day. Pork belly. Oh, wow. There you go. Kyle, you could pass out the goddamn forks, too. No, it's all right. It's Kobe's death day. Come on. Just eat it with your hands. Suck it down. Oh, yeah.

You've got to eat the fat. Yeah? We're eating show now. What is that, a soy glaze? You know the most important of a pork belly crust? Important part? Baking soda. Really?

Why is that? No clue. Is that true? Yeah. Okay, let's spin the wheel. And whoever's last has to just talk themselves while everyone else eats. Oh, no. Here we go.

Spin the wheel. If the wheel is just, it'll be everyone else eats. Oh, no. Here we go. Spin the wheel. If the wheel is just, it'll be Brandon. Kyle's out because it's his birthday. Yeah, have Owen, TJ, I mean, TJ, Zaha, Steven. Kyle gets the mange from the beginning. Kyle's out. Whoever loses has to talk for five minutes by themselves while everyone else eats. Thank you so much.

I was actually craving this so hard. Owen, get to eating, bro. No! It's like my birthday, too. Get rid of the funny ones first. Yeah. Okay, okay. The wheel is just...

Zah gets to eat. Zah gets to eat. Yeah, there you go, Zah. The wheel is just... Quick shout out to Zah's TikTok as. Zah gets to eat. Yeah. There you go, Zah. The wheel is just dab on us. Quick shout out to Zah's TikTok as well. Why? Yeah.

What do you do? He's been putting in work. Good. Sass gets to eat. He already started. He already started. It was rude. That's okay. Sass isn't a rule guy.

You know what? He doesn't have life experience. Who did? Everyone started. No one has started. Who started? Besides Kyle, the birthday boy. That's so good.

Brandon. God damn it. Has not started. The wheel isn the birthday boy. That's so good. Brandon. God damn it. It's not started. The wheel isn't just. The wheel is not just. It's going to be me. If it's me, I'm going to fucking do spy cam. Yeah.

Oh, Chakeney. Chakeney. Wow. Enjoy some belly. Oh, wait, but is that in violation of TB12? Oh, you're only doing it for eight hours. I just had my lunch. That's an approved TB12 meal.

Wait, why are you still doing it, you fucking psycho? And Honor Brady's doing it for eight more days. You're such a weirdo. So he's doing it eight more days to hopefully get him back for his quest for an eighth ring. Oh, my God. Could have done 12, his number, but he decided not to. You're such a weirdo. What if he retires though

He feels like the way He's talking about family And gazelle Yeah no I didn't like that Gazelle The way that he's talking about Wanting to spend more time With his

Oh no This is gonna be bad It's always You guys suck at the wheel Damn You don't believe enough I suck at the wheel It's all mental

We're the three people who have Fallen victim to wheel. Oh, no. Well, well. Thank God. Is the wheel just? Oh, boy. By the way, how was the Nets game last night for one of you?

Nope. Nope. Don't answer. I'm saving that. I'm saving that. That's going to be my entire. Here we go. Maybe best man talk.

Oh, boy. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh man talk. Oh, boy. Oh! Oh! God damn! Talk it up. All right. Here we go. Woo!

So we went to the Nets-Lakers game last night. Ron and I walked home from the Barclays, and it was actually a really nice walk. Had a nice talk. We got a little lost for a couple times, but it was a very nice walk. Talked about life. Talked about aspirations.

Talked about how narcissistic Brandon is. How Sass has no life experience. Anyone else want to chime in? Oh, we did talk about how Nick The best part about Nick and the drama yesterday Is he's actually had sex with every single one of those girls You can't talk No, you can't talk

So yeah, just, you know That's where Nick sits. So, yeah, the Dave Portnoy show last night, I actually didn't think it was that shocking. I thought it was, like, kind of fair all around. I didn't really come away from it being like, oh, my God. I was so explosive. I do wonder, like Alex and Jordan were sitting in a room this morning, and they were like, we got to plan our clap back.

I was like, I don't know what you're thinking, but you're going to start a war with that guy? That guy's undefeated online. We'll see. Oh, Steven, what are you thinking? I feel like I've had some good one-liners today. Oh, Steven, what are you thinking? I feel like I've had some good one-liners with Dave. Oh yeah, that's true. Oh yeah, Steven, you can talk because

you're not eating. You think that you've beaten Dave in your battles with Dave? He told me that I defeated him recently. When? Are you sure it wasn't a fake Dave Portnoy account? No. Something in the last six weeks. steven have you watched back the game yeah from sunday how many times um i watched all 22 so two angles same play so twice the game a lot

so twice oh you're still watching it levante was out of position dude i'm sorry for talking but levante was out of position and it's weird because sorry for talking, but Levante David was out of position. And it's weird because you won't... Admit it! Double standard Steven, he won't criticize players that... Why aren't you criticizing him? I pointed it out that, yeah, he was out of position.

He should have blitzed. If it was the Ndamukong Su, what would you have said? Same thing. No, you would have been a little bit harder on him no yeah come on steven yeah come on sue got home so i wish i wish we could have had a little bit more pressure and i wish levante david had the call right but i mean things are moving fast so it's tough didn't lose the season on that one play yeah you know you literally lost the season on that one play the play before was arguably bigger literally lost the season on that play

like that's that was absolutely the play that you lost the season on i could argue the play before was bigger how how so it was incomplete then it's third and 11 from their own 24 clock stopped they might just run the ball and punt it. So we have to use a timeout. You lost the season on that one play. That's the headline. Wait, what do you have that you have to stop the TB12 diet? We have like a sales brunch next Tuesday, and then Thursday is my birthday.

So we're going out to the city. You thinking about what, a croissant, muffin? What are you thinking? No, so I're going out to the city. You thinking about, what, croissant, muffin? What are you thinking? No, so I won't be on it that day. Big Cat, eat, eat, eat. Let me pick up my brother. Let me pick up my brother. That's the least I could do.

My brother's down. My brother's out here talking. The least I could do is fucking swallow my food and pick up my fucking brother. That's what I said about Nick was right, though. No, it wasn't. That was the only thing that's been true this entire time. I'll play two too much. Congrats on being named an all-star in the dozen.

Well-deserved. Absolutely. I don't think I deserved it. Are you talking to Roan or KB? Or me. I was talking to Roan. I thought nobody else could talk. And we're also, yeah, we're teammates.

And so, I mean, I think my other teammates deserved it even more than I. Was that a vote? I guess. It was a fan vote? I think that Jeff. I it even more than I did. Was that a vote? I guess. I think that Jeff completely made up the results of it just to be nice to me. And I can't believe he went out of his way just to be nice to me like that.

But Nick, captain. Coley, captain. Let's do a mock draft of what would happen with the whole dozen. Brandon, you be Coley. Nick, you be Nick. I already drafted. I did this yesterday for real.

Who'd you draft? I can tell you who the last pick was. No, I want the whole thing. I don't want to say. Obviously, the last pick was Tommy. No. What? What if I told you? I don't think dozen fans care about spoilers. The last pick is Tommy. No. What? What if I told you?

I don't think a dozen fans care about spoilers. The last pick is sitting in this room. Oh, fuck. Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, that makes sense, honestly. I should have been the last pick. They don't know what I can do. You'll have to prove it.

Who picked first? You or Cole? Why are KB and Pft not playing in the game because nick nick is a captain and they're on the same team i don't know why pft is not playing the game yeah i don't know either uh fran is in the game it was hard because our team had three all-star votes so it's tough well that's because you guys only tweet about the dozen you're like that's all you care about well Well, we support the show. Right, but you care about it so you have

people who like... Everybody cares about it. Everybody cares about it. And cons had 70,000 votes. Who did you take with your first pick? Chris? No. Oh, you're fucked. I don't know when Jeff's releasing that. Tonight. Is it tonight?

Brandon, don't talk with your mouth open, Brandon. Come on, we're trying to broadcast right now, bro. How could you talk without your mouth open? ASL. How did the lady Sherry do it from fucking Lamb Shop? Yeah. I thought she just talked. No, she's a fucking ventriloquist.

She hit them with the motherfucking... Wasn't that one of our balls? Yeah. Carry around a ventriloquist on me all week? Yeah, that's right. I'll be honest, the pork belly probably ruined the vibe of the show, but I still had to do it. It was also good pork belly. No, it was for KB.

And look at KB scraping his rice off the thing. It's like when my dog hasn't eaten and skips breakfast. God damn, KB. Clean plate. Clean plate, love. This macaroni salad's delicious. There's extra KB, too. Did you take some extra?

That was amazing. Did you take some extra? It hit directly in the center of the spot. Oh. Oh. To make this birthday perfect, what do you want? I have, like, 12 grains left. Do it.

Finish them. Finish your grains, bro. I see you scraping. Yeah, hand up. That was probably a bad idea to have the food delivered in the middle of the show. Whatever. What are you getting at? No, he was so excited.

Who are you apologizing to? You just made my day. The listeners. Okay. You made my day. You know what? Sometimes we get to take moments to eat. Yeah.

Season six has been all bangers. We have one show. We just chill out. Yeah. You just gave me the exact gift I wanted, and I enjoyed it. That's a banger. That is a banger. That's a banger.

That is a true banger. And there's extra. Where's the extra? Brandon, what did you get, KB? What are you getting, Kyle? The extra's right there, KB. You got pork belly for the next fucking week. Well, you don't eat it?

You didn't eat it? I was going to save it, but if Kyle needs it. Why aren't you eating? I eat later. You just fucking don't eat what I get you? Not hungry. He bought a bunch of pork belly. Interesting.

All right. I'm going to have to deal with that later. Now I'll talk to him. Let's get on with the funny. So my gifts don't hit the spot, baby? Got an issue. One of my sugar babies doesn't like gifts anymore. Getting out of line.

The fuck? Yeah, I want to smoke a pack a day. Your voice will sound so awesome. Your voice will sound so awesome. Yeah. It should just be the base ping pong ball for everyone. Everybody gets that. Everyone's got to do it.

You're going to have to get a smoking room at the hotel. Ooh, maybe name it after someone Like Ben Mintz Ben Mintz Smoking Lounge Mmm That sounds Did you come up with that I did

I just came up I just came off the top What if we had like A certain amount of cigarettes For the entire show And we had to like Allocate them Oh I like that

Or like split them up Yeah So we need like heroes And we can have like People be p and we can have people be pussies if they want to be pussies, or we can all carry the weight together as pallbearers. I like that. Pall of all bears.

So how many cigarettes are in a pack? 20? Correct. Yeah. So there's eight of us. What if we got one of those big bags that they sell in West Virginia? Loose bag of cigarettes?

Yeah, loose bag. I don't know. What is that? Yeah, you get assorted cigarettes. And just a whole bag of Yeah, loose bag. I don't know. What is that? Yeah, you get like assorted cigarettes. And just a whole bag of them. You get them at like Little General's. And it's just a packed bag full of cigarettes. Wait, Big Cat, what's the setup here?

Are we going to be outside? Inside? I think inside. So that kind of ruins it. Inside what? A bar. Okay. Yeah, it's cool.

Yeah, I like that though, Rowan. Maybe we'll do it that way. We got to have our brainstorming session. When are we going to do that? A hundred cigarettes. Why don't we do it right now? A hundred cigarettes amongst the boys. We can't force the brainstorming session.

Okay, if we get a pile of 100 cigarettes. We've got a belly full of belly moves. I don't think visually a hundred's enough. How many is in a pack for eight people? Yeah, that's not a lot. I think a hundred's a lot for eight people. We get a thousand cigarettes. A week's a lot better. A week's a lot better. A thousand's a lot better. Are you saying for the week or for the show? For the week. Oh, that's not a lot. I think a hundred's a lot for eight people. We get a thousand cigarettes. I'm sorry, a thousand cigarettes.

Oh, you're saying for the week or for the show? For a week. Oh, okay, okay. That's a lot, dude. A thousand sounds awesome. That's too many cigarettes. Even if each of us smoked five cigarettes a day, we'd be going through it. Yeah.

We're bitches. I've never smoked more than one. That's what I mean. We're not tough guys. We're tough guys. We once had a group chat where we were going to try to do a thousand push-ups in a week together. It wouldn't be fucking hard. Now we're doing cigarettes. Yes, it would. Yeah. We're going tough guys. We're tough guys. We once had a group chat where we were going to try to do a thousand push-ups in a week together. It wouldn't be fucking hard.

Now we're doing cigarettes. Yes, it would. Yeah. We're going the wrong direction. No, we'll become tone either way. How would I fail at smoking like five cigarettes? You're going to get sick. But what would stop me from finishing it?

I don't think you would get sick from five a day. No, five a day, probably not. Guys, I haven't had five cigarettes in my life. What? I don't know if I can. Should we practice right now? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's get a cig going. Do we have six? Oh, my God, you want to. No, I don't. I got, again, a belly full of belly. I actually don't want cigarettes. There's nothing better than a cigarette after supper. Yeah.

No one's getting a tattoo, right? Yeah, a tattoo of the ball. We're doing the open mic. Someone's going to do tanning bed every day. Yeah. Someone is going to be overly apologetic. Do we have that? No, I don't think so.

Yeah, someone has to say sorry all the time. Just be a beta all week. Not just us, to everyone. Yes, yes. There's nothing more infuriating than that person. Yeah, who goes out of their way to say sorry all the time. One day you can only drink when you're in the bathroom. Drink alcohol or any beverage.

So if you're thirsty, you have to go into a bathroom and drink it there. Leave. To thrive in that position. How many balls is everyone picking? Four? I thought it was three. Four. When did we go to four?

Five? I thought it was three. It's four. Someone's got to return an item that they bought and tell them they shoplifted it. And they felt guilty. They felt guilty. Yep. We do need to get the Donnie glasses.

That is a good one. That is so good. The camera glasses. I think we have a pair. The Marty Mush ones from that party. What? Marty Mush? We're party What? Marty Mush We're out

He like crashed Was it Deadspin? Yeah I mean Donnie's done like a billion videos Between that and this But yeah the Marty Mush glasses I'm sorry I don't know why I said that I think of Donnie as synonymous with the glasses I think Marty's more a glasses guy

He did do that one party Marty's an alcoholic he is? oh yeah I forgot about that you guys want cigs are you good? I have cigs you have a cig guy?

why are you showing your phone? they're on your phone they're virtual I have a virtual cig that would get no let's not smoke them today let's wait till Tommy's you don't want to do a test run?

I think we should do a test run just a test run we need to up our tolerance in case anyone else gets the ball we gotta get our tolerance we'll double the amount of cigs until we're each having a trillion a day in like 12 days. Stephen Chay thinking he'll get addicted is so funny.

Sass is the only one in this room that could get addicted. Yeah. His brain is still growing. Formative. Would you like that? Would you like that? If I had to smoke like 20 cigarettes a day, how would I not get addicted? They're not.

You can't get addicted from cigarettes in three days. Yeah, they're also not addicting. If you're doing it on your own accord, then maybe. But if you were forced to do it, then no. Cigarettes are non-addicting. I've seen a lot of commercials that tell me otherwise. Yeah, they lie. There's a lot of lying.

They're literally called truth. Exactly. Truth is literally funded by big tobacco and then you get cringy advertisements to get people to start smoking. Yes. They're the only commercials that have ever made me want to start smoking. It's true. No, that's an actual thing. And they also go out of business if people stop smoking.

Like if everyone quit smoking, Truth would not exist. They need people to keep on smoking so they can tell people to stop smoking. That's why they push their ad focus to anti-vape ads so people would get back on tobacco. Whoa. We better be careful. We better be careful. Now I'm worried who might get it. TJ's about to have two bullets to the back of the dome.

That would suck. Why too? TJ got assassinated. Steven, I think maybe the tread water challenge is can you finish an entire cigarette in the pool? Oh, that's a good one. No, because you'd only have to tread for like four minutes. He wouldn't be able to.

How would you be able to keep it? How would you put it out? It'd be a little harder because you'd have to have some extra arm strength. Whose cigarettes are these? Those are Lucy's. Che, get in here. Now, Brandon. You've got to have your first cigarette on air.

That's adorable. All right, come on, guys. Is Wisconsin really going to get killed? You're not going to have your cigarette on air? That's adorable. Come on, guys. I don't know. Is Wisconsin really going to get killed? You're not going to have your cigarette, right? I got to go do a person prime. There's a lot of smoke. You can't be cigarette-ed out. No, not in front of Dion.

Dion would fucking flip. He'd have a conniption. He would fucking kill him. Well, I don't want to smoke a cigarette anymore. How would he know? All right, so then don't. Dion, are you going to? No, I want Tommy here.

I want a child here. So then people can complain and be like, it's so fucked up. What about every time we have somebody on the yak, if they want to be on, they have to be smoking?

Yeah. So if you want to be a guest on the yak, you have to be smoking. Should we have someone come to retest it right now? Let's get somebody in here. Let's get somebody

fucking in here. Let's get Alex Bennett. I actually got to go, so I'll get a guest. Who you got? I just said I have to go. Stop trying to steal my shit. I gotta go interview Ray Mysterio.

That's fucking awesome. He's just got a pack of Marlboro Reds on him. And he's never smoked in his life. It's just in case one of us asked. That's awesome. He does rule. He does. He does.

God damn it. I'd love to start a small fire. Little guy. Catch a... Let's see the prep sheet. I does. He does. God damn it. I'd love to start a small fire. Little guys. Catch a... The prep sheet. I was telling the boys. Burn some pork belly fat. Little fire.

Buildings burn down the exact right amount. What? Yeah, not too little. Not more than they should or not less than they should. At the right rate. What? You... So...

All right. I don't think any building should burn down. Well, what if it's an old, decrepit building that needs to be taken out? You don't think, you don't want that to happen, but with what you know about fire and buildings, it doesn't. Let's say commercial buildings. They don't burn down more than you would think or less than you would think. I think they actually burn down less than I would think. Okay. Especially restaurants.

I actually am shocked when you think about how big the world is that there aren't fires more often. But there's enough fires for there to be firemen in every city. That's true. There's just enough. There's enough fires. But they all have second jobs.

Really? Also, nobody smokes more cigarettes than firemen. It's true. What, Che? That doesn't make sense. Firemen smoke so many cigarettes. Around the firehouse? Why doesn't that make sense?

That's how they got their name. Do you think boats sink more or less than they should? Boats should sink way more than they should. What is this? This is a real fire. What was this? Obscene on-scene TV. Cruise ships sink.

Was this last night? Cruise ships never sink. Yeah, even when they start to sink, we just go get them and they just stay up in the water forever. Ever heard of the Titanic? That was 100 years ago. Did it sink? It was actually more than 100 years ago. 108 years ago.

Excuse me. It was actually 110 years ago. It was 108 years ago, sink? It was actually more than 100 years ago. 108 years ago. Excuse me. It was actually 110 years ago. It was 108 years ago, right? It was 1914. No, it was 1912. Fuck. Oh, and who's the trivia all-star? God damn it, you're right. Idiot.

What happened in 1914? When was Babe Ruth in the league? In the 20s, 30s, 40s? No, he got there in the teens. What was Babe Ruth? Did he ever talk about the Titanic? Yeah. Probably did.

He was there from 1916 to 1935. He said those fucking assholes deserved it. Should have seen it coming. What a crossover. Babe Ruth and the Titanic. It is. That's a crazy crossover. I like crossovers like that.

Who's got the bird dogs on? KB does, I think. I brought Stephen Chay my bird dogs. I don't know where my bird dogs are. I'm trying does, I think. I brought Stephen Chay my bird dogs. I don't know where my bird dogs are. I'm trying to track them down. I gave Stephen

Chay my pants. The thing is, as soon as you get bird dogs here, people steal them. So we're getting new bird dogs tomorrow, actually,

because there were a few. We're leveling up because I didn't get any. My dick's too big, so. That is true.

I have to get bigger size. That is true. Let's get Jake Marsh to smoke a cigarette. Somebody hit the red button. They're really good. They have to get bigger signs. That is true. Let's get Jake Marsh to smoke a cigarette. Somebody hit the read, though.

They're really good. They have the liner inside that is essentially underwear, so you don't have to wear underwear with your joggers, which is awesome. And your junk feels great. Your junk does feel great. Che, where can we get these things? I got to pull up the read. I don't print out a prep sheet for myself.

Birddogs.com, B-I-R-D-D-O-G-S.com, promo code YAK. And boom, you get a free Bird Dogs beanie with your pair of Bird Dogs. Stay warm and comfortable in your Bird Dogs. In all seriousness, very, very good joggers. Yeah, the best. I want some. They're coming tomorrow in a... I ran out of pants.

I will literally be pantless tomorrow. Tomorrow should be here for this show. If not, I'll be here right after the show. But I've been told tomorrow the shipment is coming. You're going to see your pee-pee. Doesn't sound like it's coming. Well, I want to... Everyone should have gotten an original pair yesterday or Tuesday.

Wait, Roan just left. Yeah, he has to do that other show. I slept in my Oh, is there a little resentment there? I'm just so sick of Dion controlling

our lives. The narrative. The narrative, yeah. How was Son of a Boy Dad today? Was it a banger? Today?

Well, it was yesterday. Dumbass. Damn. That's just disrespectful. How was it? A banger? How was PMT yesterday? Good,'s just disrespectful. How was it? A banger?

How was PMT yesterday? Good. We taped yesterday. It was good. Fuck. Was it a banger? Yeah, it was a good episode. Did well.

Has there been a bad episode? There's been one or two that I haven't personally learned. Three or four. Three or four. What's up, guys? It's Lil Sass. Hey, guys. You don't say that. I say, what is up, guys? It's Lil Sass. Hey, guys. If you don't say that,

I say, what is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday. And then I say the date and the time. And then we hop in.

You just start rolling. Yeah, then we just shoot the shit for an hour and a half. No dickhead shit. Can I smoke this? Yeah, I would like to as well. No dickhead shit. It's your birthday. I don I would like to as well. No dickhead shit.

It's your birthday. I don't really want to smoke. Big Cat, I'm very excited for PMTV. Let me light you up. Oh, yeah. I didn't even know that was coming. Oh, yeah. That's the wrong sign.

Part of my take is doing some vlogs. Holy shit. This flame is crazy. A.K.A. You sped it up. Me and my co-host, Adam Ferron, A.K.A. Barstool, A.K.A. Battle Rap Legend, who is followed by Drake on Instagram. He is one of the few people who can't hide on his Instagram posts.

This podcast is going to be really good. Probably going to be one of the better podcasts you'll ever listen to. It's going to be pretty free-flown. It's just going to be mean-run. No, do the fast-paced one. He sounds like a nerd. Yeah, he sounds like a big fucking dork. It should be illegal to be this early.

We're going to talk about all sorts of genitalia. We're going to discuss some good stuff working out. Just good shit. Just guys shooting the shit. And I hope you guys enjoy. We're going to be doing weekly episodes every Wednesday. And thanks for tuning in. Wait.

So I was right. Yeah, today's Wednesday. You said weekly episodes every Wednesday. Do you not recall our little conversation? Oh, yeah, I told you Tuesday. You said you didn't want me to drop on Wednesday because you didn't want me to take all the part of my take listeners. No, that's not what I said.

I said Tuesday would be good because Dave Portnoy's show comes out Wednesday, which he then moved to Tuesday night. It's all right. We're taking all Dave's listeners anyway. Yeah. Tuesday is a way more wide open day. You want this? Tuesday's a way more wide open day.

You want me to throw it? I was right on that. Here, big head, take this. Oh, no. Don't give it to him. No, no, throw it in here. Come here, Owen. Throw it.

Owen wants it. Throw it in here. Kyle, who do you want to smoke this last birthday cigarette with you? Big T. Yeah? Oh, I'll be doing it. Look at this lighter. Big T or...

The flame is nice. Mackenzie. Or Kim. Or... Is Kim in? No, Erica. Or Erica Mardini. I didn't know she came on the show yesterday.

Yeah, she did. Or Jordan Berry. I like that this studio is just going to smell like cigs. Nice homey feel. Me and Rowan did an episode in here right before Christmas, and no one was here, and we both smoked a full cigar. What? Yeah, in here. Did you feel like a badass? It was awesome. It was my and we smoked we both smoked a full cigar. What? Yeah, in here.

Did you feel like a badass? It was awesome. It was my favorite episode that we've done. It was right when I shaved my head. It was a banger? Oh, when you're going through your crisis. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Brandon came back to pick up his fucking

douches. What do you got? You got a cold sore? Why don't you use the wood face wash? Zah. Whoa. Whoa. Yes, sir. Favorite thing about Kyle?

Favorite thing about Kyle? His... Oh, no. Kyle? Favorite thing about Kyle? His – Oh, no. No, I'm trying to – It's tough. It's tough. I mean, I enjoy his humor. I was trying to find a way of saying it in a slick way, but I guess I couldn't.

No. Kyle's my favorite. Just you verbalizing that was good. I could tell you cared. Owen, maybe not do that again. TJ, favorite thing about Kyle? Kyle was one of, if not the first content people to follow me on Twitter here before we even had a conversation.

That shouldn't be a compliment. I'm just not a stingy cunt about following my coworkers back. Steven, what's your favorite thing about him? It is smoky in here. My favorite thing is... You have to put it in your mouth. It's his... It's KB's level of commitment.

He has yet to get internet in his apartment and just commits to living internetless. Thank you, Stephen. Did we have a butt crack? We had a butt crack. And TJ got him on the Zoom. Can we replay the tape? Sit down, Steven. Did we have a butt crack? We had a butt crack. And TJ got him on the Zoom. Can we replay the tape?

Can we replay that? Sit down, Tommy. Is this lit? Yes. No, inhale it. What's Smith gawking at? Yeah, it's my birthday. Ever seen someone smoke a cigarette?

I haven't seen anybody smoke a cigarette before. Ever seen anybody smoke? Ever seen a man? Just men being men. Oh, Tommy! Oh, no! Look, he doesn't know where his own butt crack is.

He missed it. Look, he had no idea where his butt crack is. Oh, my God. Oopsie! Is that my tuchus? Is my tushy tush out? I've been uncomfortable all day in these tight jeans. They can't even hold my fucking ass correctly.

When you want to be done, you can just put it in there. Oh, yeah. So tight pants are out. Yeah. Are they? Yeah. Fuck. Those look pretty tight.

I just bought some new ones. I know. Should we scan and see if there's cum anywhere with this little blue light? Yeah. You got a blue light? Oh. You're not going to like what you find. Oh. I know. I bust bought some new ones. Should we scan and see if there's cum anywhere with this little blue light? You're not going to like what you find. I bust in here every day. I wonder if anyone's ever busted in here. No way.

Look at all these vantage points. Someone's busted in here. Sounds like you've busted in here. I would bet no. Steven's looking at me with a smile on his face. Steve, never busted in here. I would bet no. I would bet no. I'd bet no on this. Steven's looking at me with a smile on his face. Steve, you've busted in here? No, definitely not. Definitely not.

It's too exposed to the audience. I have never busted in any job in my career. Not at fucking Smoothie Planet? Can we get a quote card of that? I've never busted at any point in my career. Smoothie King sponsor logo. Oh, you sure, Jay? You sure, Jay?

What's this? TJ's so quick with it. Oh, that's your toes curling. Can we get Steven doing that reacting to Tommy's butt crack? Oh, yeah. I really don't like cigarettes. All right, so put it out. It's fine.. Oh, yeah. Oh. Really don't like cigarettes. All right, so put it out. It's fine.

It's KB's birthday. I don't want to see you smoke it. Yeah, you make it. I did not. You said he chose me. Honestly, that. He chose Big T, then Content Kim. Neither were here.

I figured you were the. Honestly, if the truth advertisers wanted to do their job, they just have Tommy smoking a cig. But you want to look like this? It's never looked less cool. Yeah. Nope. Never smoking again. You have a high butt crack.

Is it? Yeah. Thank you. I have a very high butt crack myself. I'm afflicted. Thank you. Plumber's butt crack. Oh.

Everybody has a picture of their butt out there. Give me the palm of your hand. I didn't come. Give it to me. You do it inside someone's dick hole. You're like, look at that. Lee came in his dick hole. Come in there. Give me the palm of your hand. I didn't come. Give it to me. You do it inside someone's dick hole. You're like, look at that.

Lee came in his dick hole. Come in there. Somebody came in this dude's dick hole. Bro, that's crazy. You're just in the office with cum in your dick hole? Sicko.

I've been leaking so much post-piss that I've been having to like wipe with toilet paper. Oh, yeah. This is like a recent thing. Asian culture's dad. Yeah. I was telling people I'm leaking so much post-piss that I've been having to wipe with toilet paper. This is like a recent thing. Asian culture's dad.

I was telling people that I was leaking, and they told me to push up on my gooch when I'm done. And I don't think it works, but I've been doing it. I leak a lot, too. Well, that's not surprising. That doesn't surprise me. This is a little personal, but I have a, in my penis hole, I have like a band that like cuts it in half almost. So if I'm peeing. Like an earthworm? All right, I got to go do the punchline.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Tommy. Do you have two streams? If I pee with a boner, it comes out everywhere. It's like two streams. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you have like a stalactite?

I will occasionally be peeing straight out of the top part of that dick hole and then the bottom part drips down. Jesus Christ, Tommy. That's way too much information. Yeah, you shouldn't have told us. That is disgusting. I showed you my ass crack. I figured we were sharing. Oh, an accident.

Or was it? I just ruined my day. You know when you cum in some fabric and after that there's a piece that remains in your dick hole so the next time you piss there's two streams. I don't think that's fabric, Kyle. I think that's like dried semen. You think you get fabric in your dick hole from busting the fabric? Maybe a lint buildup, Kyle. I think maybe a piece. A piece of fabric.

What type of fabric? It's the piece of fabric that sticks there because of the semen. And it creates a blockade at your urethra which causes two separate streams when you of the semen. What is it? Your bed sheet? And it creates a blockade at your urethra, which causes two separate streams when you piss the next time. I don't think it's fabric. Are you busting in felt?

What do you think it is? Where are you busting? Dried semen. Where are you busting? Well, if you bust in a piece of clothing. Do you do that? We've all been there. But, like, do you do it regularly?

It's just something that's happened before. And you think your dick keeps a piece of the t-shirt on it? It gets in the dick? In it. Like a piece of thread or fabric. How would a piece of thread get in your dick? It's astray from the clothing you came into. So it sticks or something. And it sticks to from the clothing you came into. So it sticks, you're saying.

And it sticks to the cum that you just came. I'm explaining something that's happened to me. I don't... It hasn't happened to you? Maybe not. TJ, can you Google why you get two streams after you bust? I don't want to talk about this. I just need to figure it out because I don't think it's threat.

Nah. Well, whatever. Kyle, you want to keep don't think it's threat. Nah. Well, whatever. Kyle, you want to keep going? It's your birthday. No. You don't. Yeah, let's end it on you clowning me. All right.

We'll switch it around. What are you doing tonight? I don't know. Yeah, you know. You want to go out? I'm going bowling. We're going bowling. You want to come?

Maybe. You're invited. Zass, you want to come? You're all invited. Everybody's invited. Even if you're watching the show, come through. Come through and bowl with us. Yeah.

Welcome, anybody. Happy birthday, Kyle. Thank you. Yeah, happy birthday. Happy birthday, Kyle. Anything else? Do you guys see these pictures of Ben Mims? Uh, what?

Ass crack. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I saw those. Go back to that, his shirt. I think that was a white shirt, and he just fell in a puddle at a gas station. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He looks cool. Ben Mintz has definitely slipped on a banana peel.

I forgot he was white for the day. Okay. Nice pleat. I believe him. He ran New Orleans for an extended period of time. Oh, definitely. Is that glasses, Ben? No, he's all the way on the right. Yeah.

Does he have glasses on? Yeah. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he does. He does. He sits on the pick central.

Oh, these are great. And this is the actual resolution he sent them to me at. Yeah. Glass has been. Lovely. Is that how we want to end it? Yeah, it works for me. Works for me.

Happy birthday, Kyle. Thank you. Happy birthday, Kyle. Appreciate you. TJ, what's up? Che? I feel like a patient. Like a little cancer patient.

Why do you have to be little? Because there's birthdays in here every day. No one cares. You kind of were like the cancer guy for a little bit. Was. All right. See you guys tomorrow. See you guys tomorrow. Happy birthday Kyle