The Yak - White Sox Dave Calls In After Banning John Cusack & Jersey Jerry Gives His Credit Card Out LIVE | The Yak 10-11-21

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Handed his assYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. Oh, whoa, whoa. First day post-Tommy Walker day. How do we... I got hungover. Yeah. I really...

Looking back on it, it was one of the best yaks we've ever had. It was so much fun. I was laughing like all of Friday afternoon. The only regret I have is we should have made it the season four finale. And we should have started season five today. Dang. Wow. That was a big

that was a big miss because you know then our pilot is going to just be underwhelming no matter what. True. Let's use this

this is the finale we'll just tie up loose ends from this season. Do a flashback episode we'll just replay it. The second to the second to last episode is always better than the finale anyway. Always.

I was going to have Jersey Jerry in and he asked me what time and Ronan and I both... Oh, there he is. Hey, Jersey. He's going to sit in Sass's seat. Tommy was very happy, guys. I appreciate that.

Tommy was very happy on the way home. I'm not concerned about Tommy. I know that he was happy. I know that was a great day. Tommy Walker day i i hope we can do it forever i hope that tommy's a full-grown adult and we're still doing a day for him um i'm more concerned is how did your wife take the whole smoking and you know there's a few people who are like kind of close to smoking in a room with a kid my wife is not a magnificent pussy so she can handle, so she can handle a couple of cigarettes that got puffed on twice.

Yes, exactly. And maybe a small fire that almost started. It's fine. What are we talking about? Cigarettes. Yeah. Come on. They haven't killed anyone.

They didn't hurt anyone. They didn't hurt anybody. Jerry's here. You could have hit him in the face with a lit cigarette, but you didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I have better aim than that. You threw in that Nick. Yeah.

But if you wanted to hit him, you would have. Yeah. Jersey Jerry is here. Sass is out. Jerry came up to me after his first appearance on the Yak and was like, hey, that was a lot of fun. Anytime you'll have me. I was like, yeah, anytime we have an open seat, you're welcome to come in.

That's my favorite show. Whoa. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Are you a little sad you missed the face paint on Friday? Dad, I was. I wanted to get my face painted. What would you have done? I don't know. Maybe like a tiger or something.

Superhero? Tiger, nice. We had a tiger, Jerry. Yeah, you can't double up on that. We had a tiger and a tabby cat. We had a bear. A bear? Yeah.

What color? Brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what other defining features, or would you just do brown? I think I just do brown. So just brown face paint? Brown face paint with a little nose, maybe a black nose. Black nose, yeah.

Yeah. That would have gone well. Right around your mouth. Teeth over here, maybe. Yeah, yeah. That would have gone well. Let's do a tattoo tour, Jersey. Okay.

Okay. Jeremiah 2911. What does that say? For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for you to prosper. Plans to give you hope in the future. Yes. You should really, when people ask that, be like, Jeremiah 2911. 9-11?

Yo. No, be like like for the Lord said it was always Jeremiah he's planning the sequel this is my friend this is one of my four French Bulldogs

this is Chunk yeah he saved my life and then this is this is my this is my sobriety we'll get back to the saving of the life

this is my sobriety date is that dog still alive yeah oh okay this is 7 4 2015 saving of the life. This is my sobriety date. Is that dog still alive? Yeah. This is 7-4 2015. Love it. This is for my

friend Paul. You stopped drinking on the holiday. Yeah, July 4th. I got sober on July 4th. Right, but something made you stop that thing? That's a strong man. That's a tough day to do it. I got sent on the plane that day. Oh, okay. July 3rd must have been crazy. They had friends.

Well, no, maybe not. They were like, we don't want Jerry to ruin July 4th again. And on July 3rd, my mom found me. And then July 4th, I went on the plane. Got it. Okay. This is from my friend, Paulie Peppers. I met him in rehab.

He actually was, have you ever heard of Impractical Jokers? Yeah. He was one of the Jokers years and years ago. One of the original Jokers, the Pete Best of the Jokers. I carried his casket with Sal and Murr. So he's dead? Did you name a dog after him? Yeah, my dog, Pauly Peppers.

After him. This is his birthday, the day we met, the last day we seen each other, the day he passed, and this is empty for the afterlife when we meet again. Oh, fuck yes. Will you get that filled in when you die? No.

This is forever empty. It's forever empty. Unless when we meet again, I'll get it tattooed and have it. If it was like a Tupac situation and he just showed up, then I would fill it in. That would be weird because it would be like just a random, like November 7th. For sure. What?

Okay, yeah. And then this is, I got broken on this hand, this arm. For your body? Pretty much. Yeah. And then blessed. And then I got the sad truth right here. And then I got here, the right here and then I got here

The River Runs Deep that we went through that one that's the Brad Pitt movie and then I got that runs through it it doesn't run deep yeah that's right

then on my chest it says you wanna wanna see your chest you wanna pop the top you can't see it though oh from the other way then maybe

go from the lift up lift up what's that say take the bottom of your shirt. Yeah, we got it. Is that the Declaration of Independence? My biggest fear is losing it all.

Is that a gambling thing? Pretty much. Responsibly. And then here is for my grandma and grandpa. Love it. Nick, you want to follow that up? I can't. None of mine have me. You have your grandmother, right? Jesus. Yeah, Nick, show us. I want to follow that up I can't none of mine have me you have your grandmother right Jesus yeah Nick show us I want to see Nick

show us wonderful grandmother so I'd have to take my pants off and I'm not concerned with that but I did just pee and I think I dribbled a lot I have a wet penis right now that's dope

that's dope though salute thank you is it a portrait like a portrait it is I want to see Vibs did it who's Vibs yeah come on man you'll get to know Vibs Salute. Thank you. Is it a portrait? Like a portrait? It is. Oh, I want to see.

Vibs did it. Who's Vibs? Yeah. Come on, man. You'll get to know Vibs. You don't know Lower in the Bar? Oh, okay. Gotcha.

He does tattoos? Yeah. Not anymore. You did one. Don't tattoo me. You did one. What about your tricep? Your right tricep?

Oh, that says, see you in the funny papers. Oh, really? I forgot I did that one. That's a great one. You think you got some room for a Yak logo? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. That's the logo right there? Yeah. I don't quite get it. About the house? Our logo doesn't

really... That's the second time you've said that. Yeah. And I feel like as a designer, we need to hear you out. Yeah. It's just real high tech and sharp and aggressive. That's not us at all. Yeah, that's true. So what should it be?

And why is it just, why is it so pointy? It is pointy as fuck. Oh, yeah. Look at Sass. He's pointy as hell. What if a balloon comes at it? Yeah. We're a fun show.

And why is the ace? Nothing. Sass is too pointy at it? Yeah. We're a fun show. And why is the ace? Sass is too pointy. Shalom. Yeah. Maybe change it to the one you guys wore in the class. Oh, no. Oh, no. Can you bump one eye just a pixel closer?

Oh, no. They even tilted you. They tilted one eye. Oh, no. Look at that face. Oh, God. Brutal. That's you. It's a wide bridge. That tilted you. Oh, no. Look at that face. Oh, God. Brutal. That's you.

That's a wide bridge. That's you. You got a nose. They made it look like you don't have a nose. They gave you a Fu Manchu nose. Oh, man. I can't keep silent. No one got punched by a homeless guy this morning.

Yeah, he did. Nuh-uh. Really? Wait, what? Maybe zoom out a little bit. Wait, what? Zoom out a little bit. Wait, that just Wait, what? Zoom out a little bit. Wait, that just happened to someone else famous.

Is that going around? You're talking about the guy from... The TikToker? No, the shrinking guy. Rick Moranis. Yes, Rick Moranis. I don't think that guy was homeless. I think that was just a guy that punched him.

He just didn't like his movies. The TikTok guy who does interviews in Union Square. He just got punched by... Was it in the subway? No, it was on the street. Wait, so explain the situation because this is very Owen that you just ate a punch and kept on walking. Well, Nick, I was going to save it. Tell it.

Do you want to save it? Because White Sox Dave is calling in. Is he? Do you want to save it? Are we going to save this? For what? For when? For episode?

No, this is season finale. It's a quick story. It doesn't have much to go off of. I was walking on the subway. It's like 49th and 8th. I had AirPods in. I was listening to Phoebe Bridgers. What song?

Motion Sickness. I was popping a little bit. That makes sense. That's dope. And then somebody in a hospital gown sprinted up to me and swang at me as hard as he could. Swang? Swung. Did he connect?

With my shoulder. And did someone tackle him? No, he kept going. So he was on a punch ramp. He ran out of a hospital, a psych ward, and was like, I'm going to punch only the faces I hate. Yeah. And he came up to you.

And picked your shoulder. Did you see him punch anyone else? Well, no. So I kind of ran. I ran away. You ran? You bitch. No, and then.

I would have done the same. I think that's a running situation. I would have run away so fast. I had a hospital wrench. I would have screamed. Yeah, I said like, what the fuck, very loudly and backpedaled sort of in like a Z formation. Like an alligator was after you. Yeah.

And then. You're supposed to run downhill if a homeless man attacks you. It sounds like he's not homeless. The hospital is a home. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah. And he's looking red free in your head.

Did he look like he was fresh from the hospital or was it he had gotten the gown? It could have been years. Got it. So the gown had been lived in. Yeah. Got it. He had a mask on lived in. Yeah. Got it. He had a mask on top of his head.

So he was practicing COVID protocol? Yeah. What did you do, though? What did you do to make him do that to you? Nothing. I was just walking straight. You just were walking like that? Kind of on you then.

But then, so I felt like a bitch because I kind of ran away and squealed. So then I stood there for a while and I watched him. Oh, like if he comes back, I'm ready now. Yeah, but I wasn't. Was he a big guy? Yeah. But then he was like harassing like an old woman. And you did nothing?

I watched. You made sure she was okay from a very safe distance. From a phone. Not to one down you, but I got clawed by one the other day. You got clawed? It didn't hurt by any means, but it was more of a disrespect. That is one downmanship. But hospital gown is the craziest of the homeless.

The homeless have a bullying problem. Yeah. It's an epidemic. Yeah, it is bullshit. They're spending too much time online. Toxic. Playing video games. That's crazy. Yeah.

That's got to be an adrenaline rush. Yeah. It woke me up. Yeah. When was the last time you got punched, Jerry? When you're sparring.

Today? He's in fight mode. Yeah. He's in fight mode. I text White Sox Dave. John Cusack, high fidelity. John Cusack, exclamation point. High fidelity, exclamation point.

He was like, exactly, man. Thank you. I think he thought high fidelity was like a saying or something. Well, he's on the call. He just beat me. Let's get him through. I do want that point to be made though because John Cusack is, I 100% have

White Sox Dave's back. He's my guy. I've known him for a very long time. You have to separate the art from the artist. High Fidelity is still a great movie. So let's not do that. I haven't seen it. What's High Fidelity about? It's about records. It's about love.

He goes through his relationships, his past relationships. He relives them. And he's a guy with a lot of fidelity. He owns a record store. Is there weed smoking as well? Is that where the high comes in? No. It's just a record reference.

I love that movie. But are you making a point about him being faithful to his baseball teams? Or is that just a coincidence? Do you know what I mean? Is that what you were saying? I think you were saying what I just said. Basically, High Fidelity is a great movie. Oh, it's just a good movie.

Yeah, don't. Let's not. Separate the argument. Yeah, yeah. Here's where my issue is. Cusack and I have the same birthday. Oh, no. So you've got to be team Cusack.

Is he the most famous birthday that you share with? John Elway. Oh. I share with? John Elway. Oh, I think it's John Elway. What's a Q-list? Like a fringe B-lister or what? Cusack was an A-list. I'd say he flirted with A-list back in the late 80s, but he's definitely C-list now at best, right?

A hot tub time machine. That was 10 years ago almost. Which Dave has, White Sox Dave, are you there, White Sox Dave? I am. White Sox Dave has are you there, White Sox Dave? I am. White Sox Dave has said he will never see that movie again, and he loves that movie. It is one of the greatest works of art in the history of cinema or TV or anything. So this has to be eating you alive. It is.

It crushes me, but I'm a man of principle and morals so as you can see by the video um different um topics of discussion but i'm a man of morals and principle and i can never watch a john chusek movie ever again i think a grown man should tell another grown man who to root for brandon you gotta understand there's so much more that people aren't really realizing. This is a guy that doesn't show his face at the stadiums unless it's advantageous for him to do so, if it's a big playoff game or something. You're not going to find him at Sox Park in 2018.

He asked me to name the starting first baseman for the White Sox. One, he was wrong. It was Tom Petroic, Wimpy, White Sox, old whatever. The guy he named was like a utility guy, a first middle infielder or whatever, or corner infielder. And you can't have only the good as a fan. Like being a fan, you have to have periods of misery. Yes.

No, that's fair. It irks me. This still picture that we have up right now, this is like a clash between Antifa and the Proud Boys in Portland, Oregon. He is very Antifa right there. Things got heated in Portland last night. Yes. All right, so Dave, I have your back, obviously.

You're in the right like john cusack he he everyone knows he tries to root for both teams you can't root for both teams i also have your back in the fact that this is a great litmus test for like do people get barstool or not because obviously the the usual suspects have shown up and been like these guys are terrible they're toxic whatever your list your ban list is a joke. Like, you don't actually think that you're the keeper of White Sox fandom. And so everyone takes everything we do so seriously. And it's not like, it's not that serious.

Like, it's not that serious. It's not that serious at all. I walked up to him. The stranger walked up to him and said, I ban you. Yeah, I can understand how the lame brand is. But that's funny. But how would Cusack get that joke immediately? Because you can't ban someone else.

You know how many crazy people probably walk up to famous people? But you can't ban someone else. What Brandon is saying is it's kind of a pussy move to tell another man you can't root for two teams in the same league. Right, yes, exactly what I'm saying. Even on any level, any sport. Brandon has been consistent. Kind of a pussy move to tell another man you can't root for two teams in the same league. Right. Yes. Exactly what I'm saying. On any level, any sport.

Brandon has been consistent. Yes, he has. Brandon? Yes? This guy, so we have gone back and forth on Twitter before, Cusack and I, and whenever he pops up at Wrigley or Sox Park, people remind him that he's banned. He knows exactly. It took him a second to get there once.

But once he realized what I was talking about, he knew exactly who I was and what the ban was for. But in the end, it's a joke. It's a joke. White Sox save. It sounds like you're serious, though. No, but it's the same thing that I do with,

I have not let Maryland and Rutgers in the Big Ten. And there are some people who get actually upset about that. They're like, you don't get to decide this. I'm like, yeah, I know I don't – I have not let Maryland and Rutgers in the Big Ten. And there are some people who get, like, actually upset about that. They're like, you don't get to decide this. I'm like, yeah, I know I don't, but it's funny to pretend. You fucking idiots. Yeah. Wait, so you think, KB, that he was being very serious? No.

I get the joke, and it was funny, but I don't – Dave is serious right now. It sounds like you actually want him banned. What I'm serious about is I was, well, at this point, I'm going to dig my heels in even deeper. But when I walked up to him, I was legitimately, like I was going to bust his balls and chop it up with him and like laugh about it. That's what I walked up to him.

And then he became so defensive instantaneously. Like that's why I came off as rattled because I didn't think he would have that reaction. Mike Squires is the most obscure name drop in the history of name drops. Steve Stone. It was so mind-blowing that he started asking me to name the first baseman of the 1983 White Sox before I was born. I couldn't compute how to respond to him. I'm like, dude, you can't have it both ways. Why is Ronnie Woo Woo on the banned list?

I don't know. Because he's a bum. What about Steve Stone? I got invited to his birthday party. I think next week it's like his 80th. Ronnie Woo Woo? It's a Cubs fan. He's Ronnie Woo Woo, so he goes to barstool chicago he dressed he dresses in full cubs uh

uniform actually used to live he used to woo right outside of my apartment he just walks around cubs cubs woo cubs woo cubs woo what did vanna white over and over uh i'll tell you what vanna white did the uh there is a Wheel of Fortune question. It said it was like Chicago sports teams, and it had Blackhawks, Cubs, Bulls, and Bears, and they just did not have the White Sox on there. Oh, come on. And she writes those.

Vanna White does write all the questions. She does. She picks those. But you don't throw Sajak on there? You don't think he's implicated? Well, she was the one who flipped the card. What did Mike North do? What did Mike North do? I forget what mike north did off the top of my head but he's i don't know probably

being a meathead i mean but if you look at like domino there's an article someone tweeted me they literally like use domino's pizza as like my way of gatekeeping the fandom like oh domino's pizza can't be a fan anymore they They thought that was sincere and honest. It's like, what planet am I on? And then Patricia Arquette somehow... Oh, she's banned. It's like, what world am I on? Wait, so, I mean, it is a very, very hilarious story,

like White Sox Dave trending for his altercation with John Cusack. Now, in terms of the actual altercation, he did kind of body you in that one. So I have your back, but that moment, it feels like we didn't win. My point was correct, but like I said, I was so shook at how he came at me with Mike Squires of all people he could have came at me with. I just froze in the moment. I was like, what the fuck did he just say?

But that wasn't even what the argument was about, Dave. He threw the bouncy ball and you went and chased it. You shouldn't have even been focusing on getting into a name listing match with him. You should have just been like, it doesn't matter. You can name every fucking White Sox of all time. You could probably name every Cub as well or every Cardinal. You just had to stay a little bit more focused and you would have you would have bodied him dave but like the like i said the conversation took such a unexpected at least how i expected it to go

turn that i just like i was like wait what you got to get a lincoln douglas style debate with him on stage you should have like a full. I feel like it's just too early in this quarrel to put it to bed. You think so? If Dave just took a deep breath, he could have been able to focus, but he ate the rat poison a little bit and just started arguing about the 83 first baseman for them.

That's not what it's about, Dave. He did kind of look at my thumb, gee, you're dumb kind of move. He gee, you're dumbed you. I think let's see round two. The whole point of like look at my thumb gee you're dumb kind of move he do you're dumb to you and uh i i just would i think let's see round two point about it like the whole point of like so someone said this to me on twitter yesterday he's like i guarantee he couldn't name someone on the 2018 white socks when they were winning 48 games a year and that's the truth and that's what bothers me just a little

bit enough to like even say anything about him, you know? Yeah, no. Listen, you ended up, I think you ended up winning, too, the fact that John Cusack, like, I went to sleep at 3 in the morning. John Cusack is crazy. I was reading John Cusack's tweets. I woke up at, like, 7.30, and he was still tweeting. He had not slept. Wow. He tweeted through the whole night.

Right at you. The entire game. Yeah. He tweeted through the whole night. Right at you. The entire game. People were telling me to fucking route him and stuff, and I pulled up his Wikipedia page to look for some dirt, and he's like a seventh-degree black belt, so I will not be taking any of that. No, no, no.

All right, so we'll leave it at this. Like a kickboxer. I think that this is one of those stories that is so fucking funny, and anyone who takes it super seriously and is like, Barool is the worst or this is fucking bullshit just lighten up like john cusack and white socks dave are trending because they got into an altercation about fandom outside of the white socks stadium like that is on its own a hilarious hilarious concept and then he called you little foul boy which is a like a great nickname you are a foul boy did your breasts on its own, a hilarious, hilarious concept. And then he called you Little Foul Boy, which is, like, a great nickname.

You are a foul boy. Did your breast stink, Dave? Did your breast stink? No, I don't know where he got that from. I don't know. I got good breath. You know I'm a gum guy. No, I know that. I enjoy some gum.

And then the best part is, too, like, I know Dave, and I know him very well. Like, this is obviously a big story but really all you care about is the fact that the white socks stayed alive last night yeah of course i mean even mush put his little stick down he's like that's most electric stadium i've never been in yeah it was a great it was a great game so uh tomorrow is game four because they they postponed it correct yeah they just got bang just got banged a few minutes ago. So, yeah, tomorrow's game four. And, yeah, let's – Sox from five, I guess.

But, yeah, just like – And the funny thing about this whole thing was is it didn't even, like, pick up steam during the game really. It wasn't until I got home at, like, one in the morning where all of a sudden my phone was exploding. And then, this again this morning and like it simmered for a little while dave i have one last question it's not related to this incident but uh on saturday did you did you get nick teraney to babysit you for a little while

uh i wouldn't say babysit we went out for a little bit we had a good time didn't we i think we We had a good time, didn't we? I think we did have a good time. Your friends are good people. I reached the level of Saturday drinking where I texted our behind-the-scenes people and asked if they could change my flight home because I wanted to stay out. But then I adulted and caught my original flight. That's right. Love it.

Credit to me. Love it. All right. I'll talk to you, original flight. That's right. Love it. Credit to me. Love it. All right. I'll talk to you, Dave. Best of luck tomorrow. Again, though, I don't know if you heard. Someone asked me what my take is on the White Sox. I basically am hoping that they – I go in with the great intentions of,

like, that would be nice for all my friends to have a bunch of my friends have something nice and then as soon as you guys like start winning i'm gonna be like fuck that i don't want them to win yeah that and that's how it should be yeah that's exactly how it should be um all right i don't i don't yeah like with the with the cubs i i don't want my friends you know having a good time and rooting on a winner if I can't do the same. Fuck that. We'll talk to you later, Dave. Thank you. Alright, catch you guys.

Alright, see ya. What a guy. I wish sometimes people just had an ability to take a half a step back and be like, White Sox Dave is arguing with John Cusack and it's going viral. That isx Dave is arguing with John Cusack and it's going viral.

That is so fucking funny. And John Cusack is typing in half gibberish. Yeah, he's livid. And insulting him and saying weird shit to him. It is so funny. But instead, everyone's got to be like, this is not right. Like, fandom. Like, this is toxic, Barstow.

Shut up. It's funny. This is funny. We all got spit roasted to smithereens in the quote tweets oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah everyone besides everyone at barstool besides like five people is a douche shout out big cat though oh god damn it fuck yeah who's the other five though is it a job requirement to be five three to to work at Barstool? Oh, no. That was directed at you. Oh, speaking of which, can we get a... Walking Barstool employees are walking breathing elves.

Barstool is a company full of those boys who were probably nice once, but got rejected in favor of a cuter boy one too many times, so now they pull girls' ponytails in revenge. Wait, so they implied that we're cute. Yeah. A cuter. Also, that guy's... Is that a guy? Humor's best when it's really long like that, too they implied that we're cute. Yeah. A cuter. Also, that guy's... Is that a guy?

Humor's best when it's really long like that, too. As a woman, yeah. She's got like an infantile complex. What's that? You just described like when we were

five years old? Speaking of, though, picking up chicks, KB. Any update? Picking up? My boy's like a male cheerleader out here. KB, any update? Upd up My boy's like a male cheerleader out here AB Any update?

Updates Yeah updates No updates Maybe from a character that was on the Yak We exchanged messages Or was that private? Is that private? No

Well no one I started I started a group DM with Faith the Clown And KB And I said hey Like we had so much fun. KB had a blast. I can't be silent anymore. I know something.

What? I saw KB's penis. Okay. It was twisted up like a balloon dog. Gotcha. And I know you can't do that. You haven't been to clown college. Can you just go on one date with her?

Look at that. Jerry, look at this girl checking him out That's her? The shoulder shrug And she always has a bunny on her hands She looks cute Yeah KB He's like George Michael

Are you gonna do it? She was concerned She DM'd me and said Hey I just watched the stream It was hilarious But do those guys always make fun of you like that? What'd you say? The premise of the show,

we all give each other shit. You ever get shit, Rowan? Rowan gets the least. I never have gotten shit for anything. Yeah, I don't think I have. That's funny. The only person who gives me shit is Sass. And he ain't here anymore.

Jerry, you ever get shit on this show? No one really shits on you on this show. No, not really, no. Brendan. Brendan a little bit. A little bit of time. Brendan does do it. It's Brendan.

What? He said it. He said Brendan. It's Brandon. He's saying your name correctly. Okay, cool. Not a lot of shit on the show. Dave also lost in this is that he just kicked over the dip spit.

Yeah. He didn't even throw it in anger. He just set it down. It was as savage of a move as you can have. The carpet was felonious. This wasn't an angry throw. It was almost pre-planned. Like, okay, there, that's where that's going.

Absolutely savage. I love it. Disgusting. He's like devolving into an amorphous whoopee cushion that's slowly gaining sentience and figuring out new ways to replicate flatulence. Yeah, that's the perfect description. Polarize like an eighth grade class with a different humor.

Put that in his Twitter bio. He has an avant-garde style of embarrassing himself. Yes, right. He transcends the laws of self-humiliation. And to a point where you are, you're not cringing,

you're gawking. That was also lost in the whole thing is that Dave did tweet before the video came out like, I saw John Cusack. I confronted him, and I handed him his ass. He did say that.

Yeah, he did get bought. And then we watched it, and we're like, wait, what? What a move by Cusack. He's getting throated on the internet, and rightfully so. Yeah, he's getting throated. Yeah, but Cusack just turned into that, and just like, all right, you want to argue? Let's fucking go. This was a well-thought-out dip throw.

It was gross. And then stepped right in it. Yeah. It smelled really bad, too. Yeah. Dave told me the majority of it was iced coffee. What? Got it.

So he spits in his iced coffee? I can't believe he got away with that. I'm looking for his tweet where he explained. That's like fabric softener he's spraying on. He's also spraying from way too high. He said, just got into it with John Cusack outside the stadium, told him his ass is hand and to head back to the north side. What?

What? Told him his ass is hand and to head back to the north side. Okay. Oh, so maybe he meant band or he handed his ass. Oh, there it is. As his hand. That kind of works, too. He actually never said that.

He never said head back to the north side at all. No, he... No. I mean, it didn't go... It didn't go... But, again, I think White Sox save has won the aftermath. He lost the battle. He won the war.

He just... But he won the aftermath by Cusack losing it. Yes. Yes. Cusack had a lead. He fumbled the bag. Gross Point Blank is a very good movie. Yeah.

No, he's... Eight Men Out is fantastic. There's some awesome movies. So is Con Air. Yes. Sixteen Candles. No, no, no, no. I don't fuck with the Hughes, any of the Hughes shit.

None of the Hughes shit? None of the Hughes shit. None of it? None of it is whack. Even Breakfast Club's whack. What? Even Breakfast Club's whack? Isn't Home Alone a huge movie?

What's wrong with you? Is Home Alone? Home Alone is all recant. That's his comeback. Wait, Home Alone? Isn't it, Hughes? Yeah. Didn't he come back with Home Alone? Any 80s Hughes I didn't enjoy.

You're not 80s Hughes. Home Alone's a Chris Columbus joint. Speaking of which. Today. Is Hughes coming to America? Hughes had a comeback that was a movie that was atypical of what he had been doing. It was either Coming to America or Home Alone. Home Alone's a Chris Columbus joint.

Do you like any Hughes? No, not really. I wish I did. I think you like more John Hughes. National Lampoon? I like Lampoon. That's a Hughes. What?

Yes. I don't like any of the shit that he did with... Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I don't like the Ringwald joints thing. Okay, then that's different. Maybe I just don't like Ringwald. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is an incredible movie. You don't mean that of the shit that he did with I don't like the ring wall joints Okay then that's different Maybe I just don't like ring walls You don't mean that Is he Uncle Buck? Did he do Uncle Buck?

He wrote Home Alone Chris Columbus directed it Maybe I like his writing and not his directing Ferris Bueller Plane Strings and Automobiles I don't really like Uncle Buck I don't know if he was Uncle Buck Oh he was Uncle Buck

You don't like Uncle Buck? I don't like movies where everything goes wrong Or like one character is like It's like a sad sack character What? I agree It makes me feel uncomfortable Like Ben Stiller movies

Something about Mary I don't like want them to get W's. Yeah. Like self-sabotage? Yeah, something about marrying. I don't like when people always get L's. Really? Neither do I. Because you're not

specifically personally handing them to them? Yeah, yeah. You're like, I should be the one who's fucking I should be fucking over here, Falker. 1989, he went Uncle Buck,

National Lampin's Christmas Vacation, Home Alone. That's a hell of a run. I don't like Christmas Vacation either, but I do like Home Alone. You don't like Christmas Vacation. No, I don't like Christmas Vacation either, but I do like Home Alone. You don't like Christmas Vacation.

No, I don't like... I do think Christmas Vacation is slightly overrated. A little bit overrated. Yeah. I don't like any of the vacation movies, Chevy Chase. Jerry, can we talk, can we break the elephant in the... Talk about the elephant in the room that you... You tried to rape me yesterday.

Oh. Oh, I'd say you did rape me. Yeah. Is that true, Jerry? It was a hug. Can we see that video real quick? It was a moving hug. You were moving. I'd say he did. Yeah. Is that true, Jerry? It was a hug. Can we see that video real quick? It was a moving hug. You were moving.

It was a moving hug. I got humped. I got straight up humped. All right, he's happy. All right. Yeah. Goes in for the hug. The war ended.

It's a hug. That's a hug. Who was doing the bouncing, though? Who was generating the power? You went in for a double hug. Just to top yourself off? Is there a chance Big Cat was a power bottom bouncing, though? Who was generating the power? You went in for a double hug. Just to top yourself off? Is there a chance Big Cat was a power bottom there, though? What if he generated the bounce?

Yeah. He started almost puking right after that. I think because my heart was racing so much. Yeah, you can't. And I was eating the pizza competition. Yeah. You humped me. I'm okay with it.

It looks like Chris Farley in the Bears. I won $500. Well, the Super Bowl. Yeah, rightfully so. Heart attack. I'm back. I'm back. 20 minutes before kickoff.

Don't do that. Don't do that. Does anyone know the Heimlich? Is anyone certified? Why is Rico in a trash bag? He went to a Halloween party. He won a Silver Linings playbook. Take it easy.

What a moment. That's a genuine heave. Frank's even geeking. You make it Frank geek. Yeah, look at Frank. He's fucking loving it. He's locked in. Because if I threw up, I would have lost. Yes, that's true. That's fucking loving it. He's locked in. Jerry, get it together, Jerry.

Because if I threw up, I would have lost. Yes, that's true. That's a fact. Reversal of fortune. If you heave, you leave. It's wing bone rules. Be a man, Jerry. Rico's going to throw up.

He's being a fucking anto. Rico's going to throw up. Be a man, Jerry. I got to throw up? Be a man, Jerry. Oh, man. The water. Wow. Incredible.

Now, you made like $7,000 yesterday, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Steelers and the Bears. I had Steelers, I had the Bears, and I live bet the Chargers. What's your wallet looking like? I don't have a wallet today. No.

Good shit. It's all digital. Yeah. Smart. Real smart. I got a lot of credit cards, though. Yeah? Let's see them.

No, I don't have them on me. No, I don't have them on me. No, I don't have them on me. You don't have them on you. Do you know the numbers off top? No. Just the regular, the Chase one. Yeah. The debit.

That's it. What's the last four? 6616. Pretty good. Pretty good. All right. What's that? Spire.

Nah, not doing that. May 2021. Thank you, Jerry. 009. They can't do nothing, right? Because they need other digits. They need a little bit more. A tiny bit more.

A little bit more. But I think we'll get it out of you. I think we'll get it out of you. It hasn't been too hard. We can't do nothing. You guys are bleeding information. Come on. One more. but I think we'll get it out of you. I think we'll get it out of you. It hasn't been too hard. Yeah, no. We can't do nothing. You guys are bleeding information. Come on, one more.

Starts with 475. You're eight numbers away. Now you can kind of just start plugging shit in. Yeah, now you can. Yeah. Sometimes I just need to... 55625. 0449. Sometimes I just need 5-5-6-5 0-4-4-9 Just give him the whole thing

Get the loss prevention Get the loss prevention Hey don't be a dick about it guys Come on Don't be a dick about it Great power comes great responsibility Be cool about that Alright

Buy something for him Send it to the office So he at least You could do that Packs right off maybe That's a good idea Give to charity in his name Then it's not going to Uncle Sam

Win win Oh man We gotta find that homeless guy And punch him back Yeah Are you allowed? Yeah Yeah

We punch you first Stand your ground Should we do a manhunt? Yeah Oh That'll be fun Bad news Oh

Dog to bounty hunter Has a sprained ankle. Oh, no. He has to return to his home. Brian Laundrie, you fucking scumbag. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. A sprained ankle is knocking him out of the race? Well, how is he supposed to have a bounty hunter?

You literally cannot race with a sprained ankle. Worse than a break. I got a link to Dog to Bounty Hunter bounty hunter found brian laundry but it was the big black yeah i know i saw that was going around i uh it was great because i i saw it was going around i kind of had forgotten it was going around and then like five days later stew finder hit it hit me with it okay um it's reached the end of the internet but yeah he's out right now. But he'll be back. Brian Laundrie, your clock is still ticking, you scumbag. Yeah, I think we just put it on call timeout on the whole thing.

It's like free city. Yeah, free tag timeout. It's on our system. Tie your shoes. Don't go anywhere. Laundrie can eat a little bit. You know what I mean? Take a little jog around the block and then game on in about three weeks.

Is there any one of the Indians that wants to see how far he can go? Who? Brian. Laundry? Me. Either he's probably killed himself at that or he's not having fun. He's not enjoying his life. Maybe worse than being locked up?

Yeah. At least he gets three hots and a cot when he's locked up. No hots, no cot. What would his life be like? He'd get three hots. Well, he would have a bad life in prison. Right. Why?

If he has built a little hut somewhere. For murder? Maybe. You think a hut would be fun? I bet you a gator ate him. I think a hut could be fun. A hut can't be fun. He's under his parents' house.

He's in his parents' backyard underneath their garden. Really? We know that, right? Yeah, they're gardening. They keep on passing ham sandwiches into their like begonias. Is that true? Yes. People are flying drones over his house.

And they keep on going back to the same patch of the yard. It's pretty obvious where he is. I'm going to look this up real quick. Can someone find this? It should be just like an infrared. It should be able to do some kind of infrared shit. Do you guys just want to get him right now? Yeah.

Let's get him. Holy shit. So that means Dog actually kind of found him because he showed up to the house first. Yeah, he sniffed him out and then like the... Oh, shit. The gardens were installed after he went missing. Who installs a garden when your son is on the run for murder? Oh, he was on the lam.

Hand in garden bed drone footage. Possible bunker. Yes. Bingo. People have too much time on their hands. I know. Building a whole bunker? Like, how long would that take?

Yeah. This is... You think they pre-built it just in case he ever murders somebody? And, like, a parent's love is an infinite. It's not. It's finite. You give him up. Yeah.

He can't be that cool of a guy. What if he is? Oh, wow. Just one more Christmas. Question, Owen. What if he is? Maybe just that. Just one more Christmas. Question, Owen, what if he is? Maybe just that dope. We'll have laundries to go. Jesus Christ.

This is insane that people think that this is like... She's like scraping at some mulch and they're like, he's underneath there. Yeah. Do you know what it would be to fucking build a... Oh, that looks like a hatch. Looks like Richard Hatch. It looks like, yeah. Oh, shit.

Great lawn. It's a great lawn. Horror movie-esque. What's that thing? What? That white thing, that white square. Is that a fire pit? That's the entrance to the...

Fire pit? To the bunker. Yeah, whatever. It was just that obvious. It's the door to the bunker. A hand seems to appear. And she hands it something? What?

I don't see a hand. In a makeshift bunker. Wait, can we click on the video? Why do you want to do me like that, TJ? You hit me with a soft fade. Don't do him like that. He's being petty Jerry

Oh this is the guy That knows it Yep Yeah this is This is one of the greatest He definitely knows CPR And the Heimlich maneuver Yeah legal minds

Has an EpiPen on him At all times He needs some kind of Planter box That's good And zoomed in this video You see her doing Kind of a motion

Taking forward And such forth And then you see What appears to be like a human hand reach out of the planter box. And she seems to hand it something. His wife hates her. Daddy, where are you going? That seems like a stretch.

But the video, if you watch it, is pretty convincing in some ways. We also know that a neighbor who lives directly behind the Laundrie's house reports that they saw Brian Laundrie running out of the back of his parents' home on the 17th of September as media were gathering and making a big commotion out of the front yard. Now, of course, originally Brian's parents had noted that he had gone missing. They hadn't seen him since September 14th. We later learned that they're – This guy's facial hair. Like, what are you doing?

Horrible. Yeah, give it up. What are you doing? He's hiding his double chin. And look at his... His collar is rolled. He's definitely not allowed to make those videos in the house. Yeah.

He has to go to the car. There we go. Yes, thumbs down. What is this guy? Dan, can you delete? Can they edit or no? Why? Chase fraud.

Oh, no. We declined $1897.93 with card ending in... Can you delete that? Louis Vuitton? Who's buying... I thought you were making up numbers.

Why didn't you make up numbers? Why didn't you make up numbers? You can't delete it? No, it's a live show. Why didn't you make up numbers? Why didn't you make up numbers? You can't delete it? No, it's a live show. Why didn't you make up numbers, Jerry? I thought that was the joke. And they're buying stuff at Louis Vuitton? Cancel the card, Jerry. None of those digits you uttered were a lie.

No, it's to my real self. Chase Fraud. You got a text from Chase Fraud. Jerry! Jerry! What are you doing, Jerry? That's so bad. What were the numbers?

What were the numbers again? I'm not saying it again. I'm done. All right, people. I thought that was like a little pick and roll going, where I was like, yeah, Jerry, say another number. Then you're just like. 1897.

I don't know. They're buying a bag, trying to buy a bag. Wait, 18.97 No 1897 1897 So our listeners Are trying to buy

Louis bags Fuck you guys Jerry Online Let's find They had to have already Been at Louis Vuitton No they're online

Maybe online Online Maybe they're gonna Send it to you though There's no way To edit that out So I gotta call Chase today Call him now

They'll understand On the live show they can't go back and watch And then when we put it up we can beep it out They can go back and watch I'm pretty sure I texted them Why'd you text them no? Because it says Chase fraud We declined $ $1897.93 with card ending in, not saying it,

at Louis Vuitton. Was this you? Reply yes or no. If yes, you will not be charged unless you try again. If no, we will close your card. So, my card is closed now. Oh, so you're good. Close your current card and send you a new one. Done. Done. So, cash for a couple days. All my cart is closed now. Oh, so you're good. Close your current cart and send you a new one.

Done. Done. So cash for a couple days. You already had that one memorized. That's really inconvenient. Honestly, that was like, for the joke, that was worth it. Yeah, I guess. But now I have to change all my stuff.

Memorize a new cart. Jerry, again, you said 16 numbers. You could have made up like three of them and it wouldn't have happened. I know. Even the security code you could have made up. three of them and it wouldn't have happened. I know. Even the security code you could have made up. Well, no, I didn't know it was live. I figured they would bleep it out, no? That is on them. God damn it, TJ.

Can we go back to that guy's collar? Because it looked like Owen's nose in the... Look at that collar. How do you get get to do that? Can we go to Owen's nose afterwards? It actually looks like Jerry's chest tattoo. This is the guy that's going to find Brian Laundrie. Right here.

He's sitting in a Target parking lot. His whole family's shopping. He's like, hold on, you guys go in. We just got a big break in the laundry case. His daughter just scored two goals in a soccer game and he missed it. To get this off. This is the kid that used to chug milk really fast in middle school. Or he'd like eat a sausage patty.

Someone stepped on or something like that. He throws snowballs at cars and he definitely is the one who told the parents. We threw snowballs at cars and he definitely is the one who told the parents. Yes. We threw snowballs at cars today. You think, honestly, I know you like Dog, but do you think he was just doing this for clout? No. Absolutely not. No? What? How are you saying such a thing? No, I'm just curious.

A young man Can you show the picture of Dog at lunch yesterday? I tweeted it. I quote tweeted it. He's injured he's very very injured can we see yeah down he is what the dog do at lunch yesterday just you could just tell how he hobbled he's got a fucking huge cast on oh poor guy he's got he's got his crutches there you see the wheel he's sitting in a wheelchair. Can't even go inside. He has to sit outside.

He can't move. Look at this guy. That's tough. It's brutal. He's a hero for even trying to fight through this injury. God damn. Imagine having to put on your cowboy boots with a sprained ankle. Dog did it. Surgically removed.

No, I don't think he was doing it for clout, Jerry. I'm just saying. What's he have to gain? Nothing, but he's been irrelevant for years. Oh, jeez. He was recovering from Beth. I get that.

I know I get that. He found a new wife that looks almost eerily exactly like Beth. Yes. Was the broad next to him? Was that his wife? Was that Pam Anderson from Barbed Wire? That's his new wife. His new wife's right there.

That's his new wife. So he never's right there. That's his new wife. So he never loved Beth that much. No, he loved Beth. Jesus Christ, Jerry. He loved Beth. Don't say that, Jerry. Till death do them part. But death, then, you know.

Part. Found a Beth 2, the sequel. Beth 2. It's a mini version of Beth. Imagine if you just walked around being like, is this Beth 2, the walked around being like, this is Beth 2, the sequel. Not like, this is my wife.

No, Beth T-O-O, as well. This is also Beth. It's like the iPhone 14. This is Beth 2.0. We've made some software changes. Yeah. Sport Clip. Haircuts shouldn't feel that relaxing, but it does.

It's Sport Clips Haircuts. That's because stylists just don't want to wash your hair. They use a seven-pressure-point massaging shampoo technique that is so relaxing, you melt in your seat, and the hot steam towel, oh, yeah, it's infused with tea tree oil and perfectly steamed, leaving you feeling like you just left a Swedish sauna. And to top it off, you get a pinpoint cut. Stop by Sport Clips today and ask for mvp haircut

experience it's ridiculously relaxing sport clips the pros in men's hair all right so there's one question on here that needs to be asked okay let's do it i didn't word it steven shea worded it yeah do you like watching boxing or ufc more or are you more of a lover than a fighter? Do I love watching boxing or UFC more, or am I a lover or a fighter? It's your first sentence on the other section there. So that's four choices. UFC, yes. What's up with this, Steven? Do we have Steven? Oh, Steven's taking a. UFC, yes. Yeah, what's up with this, Steven?

Do we have Steven? Oh, Steven's taking a back seat back there. I mean, there was a big fight this weekend, so I was wondering, you know, heavyweight boxing fights, they sell the same cachet. Obviously, Ruff and Rowdy's great, but like same cachet as they used to. Or are you more of a UFC guy? That's very popular right now. But then also you could be a lover. Are you more of a lover than a fighter? Well, yeah, maybe you're not into that and maybe you're just into loving. Jerry, are of a lover than a fighter? Well, yeah. Maybe you're not into that.

Maybe you're just into loving. Jerry, are you a lover or a fighter? What if you love fighting? I love UFC. Oh. Wow. You didn't have that option, Steven. You're a lover of UFC.

Yep. I mean, that's all I'm going to do for you. I don't agree with the amount they get paid, but I do love the UFC. Wait, what was that? They're very underpaid. Yes. Very. I thought you were going to say the opposite, which would have been a hilarious spin. No. Be like, I agree with Dana.

They should get paid less. Yeah, like I'm not going to release any confidential information, but I'm getting paid a lot more than some UFC fighters. Good answer. A lot more than some UFC fighters. Good answer, good answer. A lot more.

Okay, okay. That's capitalism at its finest. You know, but it's sad because, you know, these guys, like, they're going to war, man. Right. Like, and, you know, That's not That ain't doing nothing That little glove You know what I mean What about soldiers

What about actual soldiers How about their pay Yeah very underpaid Underpaid Very They're getting paid Way more than them too Yeah

And they're going to war What about What about What about teachers Oh yeah Yeah yeah Some of them are getting Punched in the face for TikTok challenges.

Oh, man. Nurses? The annual salary? Yes. I think so. What about people who make $120,000 a year? More. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You didn't even count the pizzas. Yeah, I didn't even count the pizzas. Hey, guys, I got to go talk to Erica real quick. Immediately. Did you shave your arms? Oh, he does all the time. For my tattoos.

Word. To let them pop? What's your training regimen? When I go every day? Yeah. So we go there, I stretch for the first five. In a nutshell. You want to show us the stretches?

Because I need some new stretches. I do like hip flexors. Yeah, why don't you show us a regular stretch? Give us a good stretch. I don't know. I don't know what regular is. That's a very regular stretch. Oh, you're pretty flexible.

Yeah, I can't touch my toes. What else? Oh, get the hips open. Yep. Oh. Oh. Okay. Oh.

Oh. Your wrists crack like that? Jesus Christ. Have they... Now, have... It's okay. Your wrists crack like that? Jesus Christ. Have they... Now, have... It's okay. Your trainer, your trainer,

has he ever trained a boxer with your foot size? I don't know. You got big feet? Average. Seven and a half. Average. Totally average.

Yeah, he's He's a professional fighter Oh really 23 and He's fighting on Christmas too Oh Yeah at the Potential Center Nice

Yeah he's 23 and 2 Are you gonna go At the Potential Center Yeah I'll probably go Yeah Yeah Slick Anderson That's his name

Love that That's a great boxing trainer name Great name Yeah Slick Anderson A fight on Christmas though I feel like that's tough to make. Slick Anderson. A fight on Christmas, though? I feel like that's tough to make.

You've got to neglect the family to go on Christmas. You've never been in my house. Fights. Oh. Right at the table? Yeah. They never get me what I want. That's true. Fuck.

What do you want? All kinds of things. I never get it. I've recently realized I have a new credit card so anything you want Louis bag perhaps I'll get you anything you want I just tried to get a Louis bag but it fell through

that was you that was me I was gonna say Jesus that's so messed up that wasn't me what if a couple people got some through though

that's what I'm gonna check actually now yeah because there might have been some people that just like swiped for a cup of coffee or maybe that one only pinged because it was unnatural or really expensive. Like if someone got something for $500,

maybe a pair of Levi's or something. Yeah, it kind of actually is a slap in your face. They're like, you have low class taste. Yeah. They shouldn't have pinged that. Yeah, like a Louis bag. They're like, oh, this can't be Jersey Jerry. I think you have to buy a Louis bag

Cash Right in their face In their fucking face You gotta buy a Louis bag How would I buy a Louis bag Cash Yeah I'm saying

How would I know who the person is No I'm saying You just gotta buy it To prove To chase Your credit card thinks That you wouldn't buy one And that's why they pinged you

Yeah they think you're a scumbag Low class Really Yeah Wow Cause they're like Well This Louis bag This can't be Jersey Jerry wouldn't buy one and that's why they pinged you. Yeah, they think you're a scumbag. Low class. Really? Yeah. Wow. Because they're like, well, this Louis bag just can't be Jersey Jerry.

It can't be him. Or also... If it was a hot dog at 7-Eleven, they'd be like, oh, that's Jerry. He's getting a hot dog. Also, it could have been out of state too.

They flagged that. No, no, no. They think you're a scumbag. Low class. They don't think you can travel. Yeah, that's right. That's true. They don't think you don't have

the means for transportation. Go out of state. Don't you? Do you ever go out of state? We're going to West Virginia to fight in two months. Aren't you in New York right now? Yeah, I'm in New York now. I don't buy nothing here.

Oh, you never? No. Is that a rule? No, it's not a rule. It's just I never have. That would be great. You've never bought anything in New York? You've never bought anything here?

No. You ever eat at work? Yeah, whatever. Uber Eats, whatever. When I go to the thing, cash. Cash. Cash is king. It is.

We think you should buy a Louis bag. I think you should. I don't want to speak for anyone else. In their face. Or like a Louis wallet, just to show them you have some Louis. It's not that unexpected for you to get Louis. Well, good thing they think of me like that, because if they didn't, they would have went through. That's true.

I would have probably had a whole, to put in a claim or something. But if they had thought of you like that, then you would have had so much money, it wouldn't have mattered. Yeah, but I don't have that much money. Right. But I'm saying, like, you could probably rob a Louis bag from a super rich person they would never know. Probably.

I still can't believe you did real numbers. I didn't know. I figured they would bleep it out if it's going on the air. And I think they figured you'd go fugazi with the numbers. It's a miscommunication. That's okay.

You figured Barstool would bleep it out? The guys in the back. The guys in the truck? I'll take the blame for it. Yeah, that's on you. I don't even think they have a censor button. We're not even on a delay. Have we ever censored anything?

I wish. Can you dump something for us, TJ? Retroactive. We got buzzers on that. Can we talk about that now? No. No. What?

Has that died down? Nah. Nah. It's not. It's still dead. KB and Nick have a nice knack going where like... Just ruin everything? No, like once every like three months, Dave will be like, what's their fucking deal?

Like, they're really funny. Like, what's their deal? What are they really funny. We'll be like, what's their deal? What are they doing? White Sox, Dave? No, Big Dave. He doesn't know what we're doing? He knows what you're doing about. Like, what are you doing in there?

Yeah, what are you doing in there? What are you doing? What's going on in there? You guys need to have your yearly review with Dave. Together. Live on this show. Why are you looking at me like that? Yeah, I guess. We should.

I don't want to do it together. No. You're about to talk shit on him? No. Oh, wow. It would be awkward for Kyle. Some snitch shit. Why?

Because Dave doesn't know about the finder's fee KB takes from me. 5% of everything? 5% of everything. Damn. Everything you generate? Uh-huh. Fuck. That's devastating.

But yeah, we should have Dave in. He hasn't been on the show in a while. He hasn't. We should do it. I feel like you're lukewarm to this, KB. Are you getting anxious because your Chick-fil-A showed up? No. That was a Chick-fil-A fidget.

No, it's not a fidget. No. You got it. I just booked a podcast room for tomorrow. For who? For what? Tony Khan's coming in. Oh.

You and Tony. So is that... The Formula One guy? Football? No, it's about wrestling. Oh. I'm dropping YouTube exclusives every now and then to keep wrestling warm. Keep it warm.

Exclusives as opposed to... Inclusives. I'm dropping YouTube exclusives every now and then to keep wrestling warm. Keep it warm. Exclusives as opposed to like... Inclusives. Where you're going to put them on Vimeo or something as well? Just YouTube. YouTube. Exclusively to YouTube. Yep. Does Sling know about this?

Sling has nothing to do with wrestling. You're the king of Sling. You're the king of Sling. I am the king of Sling, but that's for wrestling. I'm the king of YouTube. 200,000 views on CM Punk. That's my biggest video. Whoa. Whoa. That's really king of sling, but that's for wrestling. I'm the king of YouTube. 200,000 views on CM Punk. That's my biggest video. Whoa.

Whoa. That's really good, Brandon. That's pretty good for me. Yeah, that's really good. Nice. Oh, can we get an Instagram account? Yeah. Yeah.

That's probably a good idea. Yeah, whatever we want. We got a live show on Wednesday. Can we get someone to post for the Yak on Instagram? I think you're just asking Owen. No, not Owen. one does too much. I don't want him to. Owen actually got stuff taken off of his plate. Owen's

been doing too much. We just have a Yak fan do it and then they're an official intern. No, it's a very bad idea. Very bad idea. Yeah, I forget that they're horrible. They are. They just try to rob Jerry. Yeah, they just try to rob Jerry. So somebody listening to this show, obviously.

Just remember, our fans are a reflection of ourselves. Oh, God. We're bad people. Oh, yeah. It's like a dog's. Yeah. There's no bad fans. There's bad fake radio show hosts.

We are looking in a mirror, and what we give, we receive back. Yeah. Hey, why don't you guys start an Instagram and just post whatever you want. What's that? That is, but I mean, look at the last post. Oh, wait. You are going to say this?

32 weeks ago. What do you mean? You got a dormant account too? You have not posted in seven years. Why don't you just post on the Yak Instagram in lieu of your account? You of all people cannot say that. Okay. Can you please?

It bothers me. Just get somebody to post. It bothers me that you won't post. Maybe somebody inside Barstool could work on it. Just post, KP. An intern? You're saying with an intern? Should we get an intern within Barstool to do it?

What if we get... Can you post on Instagram? Post on Instagram if we get 100,000 subscribers to the app. What a caption! The face looks like Steubenville. Oh, it's so bad. What the... Disgusting post.

Why? Wait, what are his three posts? He's got three. That's high school dance. Look how sweaty he is. Look how purple that shirt is. Like you're about to go on Jerry Springer. Holy shit.

I was off an orange Tesla. Oh, that is so... That was sick. That was my one good post. College Fest 2K12. Why can't you post more? Please. I want to see another post.

It's his thing. It's his brand to not post. The irony will crumble. Your first post in seven years, there's no level of a masterpiece that could take that crown. You've got to Huck Finn it then. You've got to Huck Finn it. Fake your death. Fake your death. We'll masterpiece that could take that crown. You gotta Huck Finn it then. You gotta Huck Finn it. Fake your death. Fake your death.

We'll put up some RIPs. We'll say that someone took over your account and then you come back at your own funeral. We'll read the comments. We'll just get that. Jerry will finish his tattoo.

He sees KB again. Yeah, maybe. Brandon, what's your favorite quote from that book? Proverbs? Or just words. It is Proverbs. Huckleberry Finn.

1822. Yes, sir. What's that say, Brandon? It's for my wife. Okay. So if she's watching, it's for her. Is that your wedding vow? Yeah.

Okay. Damn. The Bible's forever. That was fucking romantic, dude. It was. That was nice. That was the most romantic show at Barstow, I'd say. I'd say so. Damn. The Bible's forever. That was fucking romantic, dude. It was. That was nice. That was the most romantic show at Barstow, I'd say.

I'd say so. Probably. Our fans are a reflection of that. JB might fuck a clown. She's cute, though, KB. You should do it. Yo, KB, for real, bro. My bro. What if she's the one, bro?

Just do it. What if it's fate? Like, we tried to cancel it, and it all came true, bro. What if your wife was a clown? What if it squeaks? Bro, bro bro Just honk Come on bro Come on dude

She said she She said she wanted me to pie her Which was a miscommunication Oh look at that laugh That's like Anna Kendrick In the first scene of a romcom Yes She's looking like

She showed all her teeth Yeah and that was the moment He didn't know But I knew That we'd be together forever. Look, he sensed her smiling and her. And she looks away. Wait, but who does she look over at?

Owen? Owen. What the fuck? She didn't want Owen to catch her gawking at Kyle? What the fuck, Owen? Dude. Dude, you gotta fuck that clown. Owen, you're the clown if you don't do it. Yeah, Owen? Dude. Dude. You gotta fuck that clown.

Owen, you're the clown if you don't do it. Yeah, that's true. She local? Bitch, you the clown. Good question, Jerry. Relatively. Transplant. From where?

Where she live? Long Island. That's not too far of a drive for you. Yeah. I don't have a car. It's not too far of a walk either, though. You walk 23 miles and shit. 30K a day in September. Whoa.

What? Oh, my God. That's basically going to Long Island and back every day. Remember the big comfy couch? Yeah, she reminds me of the clock girl. Yeah. Oh, yes. I remember that.

Wow, I remember that show. Oh, look at that. First comment. Oh, get her some water. Get her thirsty and some water. Beeman. Block. Oh, Beeman.

Block. This one out, Beeman. Seriously. It's not all about you, Beeman. Damn. Thirsty. Like, get over it. Like, he's moved on.

You want to play one game of Family Feud to end the show? It's up to you guys. Jerry? Yeah, why don't you play one game and see if you can get a high score? That sounds nice. Yeah, it sounds nice, right? Yep. Just friends? Yeah, nothing crazy., right? Yep. Just friends.

He ain't nothing crazy. Maybe you get Brendan's Chick-fil-A if you make it to Fast Money. Maybe you do. Maybe you get Brendan's Chick-fil-A. That's a good idea.

Would you like it? Yeah, I just won't eat the bread. Yeah. Maybe I was kidding. That's actually... No, that's... That's absolutely

not on the table here, Jerry. If Jerry gets Fast Money, he gets Brendan's Chick-fil-A. That's not the fucking... No, no, no. What if he pitches a perfect game? No. If Jerry gets the fast money, he gets Brendan's trick card. No, no, no. What if he pitches a perfect game? No. If he pitches a perfect game?

You've got to give me something. No, because you guys will help him. No. You think we can all together get a perfect game, Brandon? Yeah, I do. We never have. We literally never have. No.

Come on. No. We've never even aced a round we've had before. I was nice enough when he guessed close, right? I gave him $20, right? After the show, he came up. So I was... We've had before. Yeah. I was nice enough when he guessed close, right? I gave him $20, right? After the show... Yeah. He came up to me, here's the $20.

I said, no, you won fair and square. Fair and square. You keep it. So if you get a perfect game fair and square... I didn't offer this, Jerry. You offered that. The odds of a perfect game are so slim. He's already bought the Chick-fil-A for $20.

No, no. He paid for it already. No, a perfect game. That'll never happen. It's a perfect game. That'll never happen. It's a perfect game. He's got to get every single question right. Nothing standing in my way. You really think I can do it?

Come on. They're going to help you. Oh, we will help you. How could we even get one even if we put our heads together? They'll use the chat. They'll use everything. They'll use everything. They'll use the chat.

I know how this works. And we still won't. We won't get a perfect game. It's statistically impossible. So that means you have to get every answer and then invest money every first place? Yes. Yes. Done. Wow.

So we're all together, right? Fire up the chat. Get the chat. Get the chat. Get everybody in the chat. Come on. Should we pull up the chat? Can we screen and screen the chat so we can look at it and all source it together? Steven, I need you on the top of your game. How about screen we screen and screen the chat so we can look at it and all source it together? Steven, I need you on the top of your game. How about screen and screen and screen?

Listen, if the second we don't get it, we're just ending the show. Alright. Name something in your refrigerator that you should thank a cow for. Milk. Good answer. Butter. Cheese.

Meat. Steak. Jerry hasn't. I. Cheese. Cheese. Meat. Steak. Meat, yeah. Jerry hasn't. I said milk. Let's go! Perfect! I got the number one answer.

That's the number one answer. Don't say I'm not contributing here. Let's go! Oh, she only got four? This is great! Jersey, you dog. What did you order Brandon? Check please

We're ready Double points okay Double points okay That's an interesting twist Tell me an animal that starts with the letter H Horse Horse Hen

Hen Hyena Maybe a hawk Oh no okay Hawk Hippopotamus Hippo Hippo Horse. Hen. Hen? Hyena. Maybe a hawk. Oh, no. Okay. Hold on. Let's think here. Hawk, hippopotamus.

Hippopotamus? Hippo. Hippo. I like hawk. Hog. Hawk. Hog or hawk? Hawk first.

Yeah, definitely submit it. Oh. No, hog or hamster. Oh, fuck. Hamster, hamster, hamster. Hamster, hamster, hamster. Hamster, hamster, hamster. Jesus. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Hog. Hog. Okay, hog, hog, hog. Maybe hyena. Hyena. Hyena.

Yes! Yes, yes! Nah. Yeah! Yes! Let's fucking go, Jerry! Doing great, Jerry. How many Chick-fil-A sauces did you get? Hopefully a lot. Jerry's hungry. I'm starving now.

Oh, he's so hungry. This is great. Here we go. Right in his hair, it was looking so good, too. Name a piece of equipment with the word telescope. Telescope. Microscope. Periscope.

Periscope. Kaleidoscope. Kaleidoscope. That's good. That's good four. All right. Microscope. Periscope and kaleidoscope.

No, no. You had it, P-E-R-I. I don't know if that would be it. Let's try it. What about stethoscope? Stethoscope. Yeah, that's a good one. No, no.

I see T-H-E. Stretchescope. Hold on. Oh, God. Oh, no. How is that? No, no. They'll get it. They have. Hold on. Che. Oh, no. How is that? No, no. They'll get it.

They have autocorrect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean. It's Che. Not real. Yeah! All right. Here we go.

Let's take our time with this one. Let's take our time. All right. Let's take our time. I will give the final answer here. Let's all talk with each other, though. Let's talk it through. Let's take our time. Even I will give the final answer here. Let's all talk with each other, though. Let's talk it through. All number ones.

Okay, slow. Slow, slow, slow. Let's all talk it through. Tell me something that can have a dead end. A road. Street. Street. Street or road.

Street or road. It has to be one of those. Street. I'm going to say street. Okay. Name something you might find in a sewing kit. A needle? Needle or thread.

Needle or thread. Which one? Needle. Needle, I think. Let's go needle. Let's go needle. When a cow sees a farmer walking towards him, what does a farmer's going to do? Milk him.

Milk him. Milk. Feed. No, no, no. Milk or feed. We have 19 seconds. Milk would be what people would think of. That would be what people would think of that would be what people would think of milk milk milk it's something you say to people when you take their picture

cheese smile smile smile funeral dentist good answer what are you celebrating Brandon Smile. No, no. Or say cheese. The place most people dread going. Funeral. No, dentist. Dentist. Dentist.

Good answer. Good answer. What are you celebrating, Brandon? Yes. Yeah. Come on. No. I said feed.

Say cheese. And we said cheese. Cheese. I said cheese. We said feed and cheese. That was our best. Cheese. I said cheese. We said cheese. That was our best game ever. That was incredible. I wish we got to see the number one answer.

We did. What was it? We almost fetty-whopped. We were so close to fetty-whopping. We almost whopped. Also, shout out to KB. Also, the Seinfeld. Oh, yes. Exactly.

That was obvious. KB was trying to give you the stall a little bit on that last one. Did you see that? Look where I'm sitting right now. What? Look how I'm sitting. Where my seat has moved. I'm literally blocking everything.

Teamwork. My seat is all the way out in the middle. Jerry, I might get Chick-fil-A if you want. All right. I might get Chick-fil-A. That was awesome. Did you see where my seat is? I didn't realize. I might get to fly It's the act Get your straws, yeah Style the tape for a while It's the act

It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk Shop and do a Yankee pop It's the act It's the act. It's the act.