The Yak - Who Will Be Crowned as the Funniest Travis in America? | The Yak 2-24-23

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Oh, nice. Hello, everyone. It's Friday. In the history of this illustrious, wonderful show that I truly do love doing, the funniest Travis competition has been one of the worst things. No shit.

Yeah. What were we expecting? We all just sat down a minute ago, and someone was like, do we have the Travis's on deck? And then someone was like, oh, fuck. We don't have to do it, though. Oh, we have to see it through. Why?

Travises have their hopes up. Oh, my God. They're right there. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Let it go. Look at all these Travises. Oh, no. Oh, fuck yes.

Wait, mute them all for a minute. Let's make them watch the act for like 15 minutes. Guys, in his car. This rules. He might not like 15 minutes The guy's in his car This rules He might not have 15 minutes I was about to talk shit What if he doesn't have 15 What if this is their lunch break

I told him to block off 1 to 2.30 Okay Yeah Let's wait a little Funny as Travis Of course it was a pipe dream. We didn't call it funny, Travis. Funny-est.

Funny-est, you're right. I'm going to tweet out a clip of that. Like smartest Brandon or presidentiest woman. Dude, them being on Zoom is hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, they're just sitting there. Hi, guys. I didn't know we were doing that.

You said 2.30? Look, that Travis is drinking. At least 1 to there. Hi, guys. I didn't know we were doing that. You said 2.30? Look, that Travis is drinking. I have them from at least 1 to 2.30, yeah. We should wait until like 2. Bottom right, Travis, is that a green screen or are you tiny? That's Tavis. That's Tavis. Oh, that's Tavis.

Tavis, come on, bro. I wasn't here yesterday. I'm nervous. Oh, I love the smoking, Travis. Somebody put out odds on the Travis's, right? Yeah. And Tavis was the frontrunner?

Also, can everyone change on their Zoom? Travis Maldonado, you have iPad. Change them all to Travis. I like that. iPad? Okay. My boys call me iPad. What did we decide? Keep them muted.

I want them to just, yeah, like a 226. We're just like, all right, let's do it. What did we decide to call him? Travis I? Travis. Just a Travis. It's like Pokemon. So what's up, everyone?

I'm tweeting this out. Ready to go. Having just them watching is breaking me. So good. I know. There's some pressure to it though. Great job TJ. The premises are watching. Are they performing? Are they auditioning? Are they submitting a video?

We don't have a plan. We don't have any plan. You said let's get them on Zoom. There is no plan. I think that all of us had the same thought yeah perfect um when we woke up this morning we're like none none of us spoke about it on the text chain right so we were hoping we just showed up to the show it's like whoops we forgot to get him on so this didn't really exist outside of the show once the show was over we i never thought about this

competition at all it's like fight club oh no take never talk about this competition at all It's like Fight Club You get it from their perspective They took off time from work This is a big thing I don't want to set them up for failure in any way I don't want to make them dance Like circus figures I don't want to shame them This feels bad

We don't have a good idea for them I'll be honest with you KB I disagree with everything you just said I don't want to... I'll be honest with you, KB. I disagree with everything you just said. I don't care about shaming them, making them wait. Alright. It's a herd of Travis.

It's the most dangerous species in the world. You're right. The winner of this competition gets a job at Barstool. We've been very clear. The winner of this competition becomes just our Travis. I thought they'd become Carter Huffman. Yeah, Carter Huffman, but then they also become like, whenever we have a question

for a Carter Huffman slash Travis, we will call them. They'll be on deck. We should probably get their number? I was going to say, maybe I buy them a beeper. That'd be awesome. Yeah, if they become like a heart doctor.

You still buy a beeper? Travis, we got a question. Monster Energy, the new kind that came out? What do you think? What do you think of it? Right. We should all get pagers. Oh, that would be awesome.

That would be sweet. I would like to have one of these Travis on retainer, just like if I ever have a day where I laugh too much. Yeah. Call him up. Just get back down to baseline. You need to get knocked down a few pegs. Yeah.

Travis is. Oh. What if they join forces and start their own all Travis yak? And then they turn out to be better than us. Yeah, it explodes and it's. Yeah, they could. Look at this. Oh, I wouldn't hate it all, Travis.

I mean, look at the boys next to each other. I could see them on a graphic easily. Yep. That's a kiss coin that they're using tongue. Do any Travis have anything to say? If you can raise your hand. Well, they're all muted. I guess, yeah, you can raise your hand.

I guess they don't have anything. None of them have anything. Oh, Maldonado. All right. I mean. AKA iPad. Okay, I just searched P't have anything. None of them have anything. Oh, Maldonado. All right. I mean. AKA iPad. Okay. I just searched pager on Amazon.

There's a couple things. One, we could buy one. I also don't hate the idea of buying a big set of the restaurant pagers and just giving it to everyone in the office so when we need them to come in the yak, we hit the button and it buzzes. That's awesome. Yeah. Really good idea. Your seat's ready at the yak.

All right, I'm going to buy that. Damn, they're way more expensive than I thought they would be. Well, does it work long distance? Well, I think just in the office. Oh. So there's two different things. I'm going to also buy a pager that works long distance, but I think I also want everyone

at their desk to have the restaurant, your service is ready, table is ready. I like that. I like that. That feels great. Just hit it. It's great. Like, oh shit, we need to get Clemmer in here. Okay.

That's such a good idea. And really, when you say it's such a good idea, it means that it will last one episode. Yeah, there's the logistics of charging it and then being here. But the one episode will be great. We'll use it probably twice. Yeah.

All right, I'm going to buy that. How many does it come with? Let's see. I like the idea of of 15 people having them, but whenever we only need one, they all have to come over here, and we pick out which one. All right. Clemmer.

I'm just staring at the Travises. Travises. I like Truck Smoke and Travis. I like Truck Smoke and Travis, too. Truck Smoke and Travis is a cool nickname. Yeah, it is. I hate Top Right Travis. I like all the Travises.

No, I like Top Right Travis. Aside from iPad, do any of these Travis have nicknames? Oh, that's a good question. Well, do we... Oh, he has one. Are you going to say Trav? You're going to say Trav, aren't you? No, my friends call me the Guzzler.

Oh. Oh. I'm listening. Okay. Hell yeah. What should I buy? Can you go on Amazon and just search Pager Weezy? Weezy Travis? Wait, we lost a Travis. Oh, okay. Hell yeah. What should I buy? Can you go on Amazon and just search Pager Wee? Did we just lose to Travis?

Wait, we lost to Travis. Maldonado. Oh, no. Oh, no. I think he's eliminated. We lost to Travis. Oh, no, he's still here. He's still here.

Okay, all right. If we lose any of you at any point from here on forward, you're officially eliminated. All right, have any of you prepared anything that you want to get out of the way travis okay okay yeah travis guzzler yeah guzzler uh i'm a little bit behind the curve because you know the two diabetes i'm only pre-diabetic so kind of stinks wait what do you do for a living? Wait, and so Travis Maldonado and Diabetes Travis, you guys are fully diabetic? I was born with type 1 diabetes, so I got obese to get type 2 diabetes to cancel them out. You have both?

Smart. What about other diabetes, Travis? What do you have? I have type 1 diabetes. I haven't had it since I was 15. Do either of you guys have the pump? Not as funny as the first answer. Oh, you have the pump.

How would either of you be willing to give us some of your insulin so we can get skinny? Oh, is that good? Yeah. You got super condensed insulin too, so it's good stuff. Okay.

Condensed. Guzzler, what do you do for a living? I got to know. He's guzzling right there. I install fire alarm systems. Fire alarm systems? Interesting. Avis, what are you doing right now?

Are you at the Toyota dealership? I am at the Toyota plant in Georgetown, Kentucky. Where they make the Camry. Yes, I liked that. That was an electric. He's got a whole headset and everything. He's got a Camry factory. Top right, Travis, you've been quiet.

Hey. I'll do. He's good. I like that. Not for that. Enough of that. I've got to find these pagers. Let's see. If we found a way to combine Travis week with scratch-off week,

we'd lose all our subscribers. And then Family Feud at the end of every week. Newspaper week, too. Oh, my God. I thought Toyotas were a japanese car am i wrong the toyota has plants all over the country oh jesus christ stephen's all things say everyone that has a toyota he blew it we should have convinced him that he was in japan yeah damn it yeah all right i'm buying the restaurant pages we had a meeting

today i was just about to say that. I was crying laughing at the... Yeah. Yeah. So we did a... We had a meeting for... We got ads. We got ads on the act, which is awesome. So thank you to everyone who watches, subscribes.

The show's become profitable. So we had a, like, catch-up ad meeting. KB joined right at the end. It was a six-minute meeting meeting which is very funny because like you'd think if you're six minutes late you'd be okay but we were done yeah sass joined didn't join with his camera it was just a picture of the rock about to say you like you jabroni it was then steven just used the meeting as his personal question time. Yeah.

For what he can wear. They really said, do you have any questions? So, yeah. Yeah, but it meant, like, pertinent. I thought that that was a reasonable question. Nick, Nick, when you said the thing about, like, you're like, I blanked out in the middle, I was, like, getting dressed in my room and I was like, I had to, like, stop because I was laughing. I just bought

20 restaurant pagers. I'll be here on Monday. That'll definitely be easy to set up too. Should we just wheel for the Travis's? I think each one should have one minute

of solo time yakking. One minute is too long. With us? Yeah. Oh, really? Too long? I think that's too short. It's just yakking. Five minutes. Five minutes of yakking? What if we each have a question or something? I don't know. I don't want to have to do anything.

No, okay. I don't want to do anything. For some reason, I know that they're not making eye contact with me, but I don't want to have to do anything. No. Okay. No, I don't want to do anything. I'm like, for some reason, I know that they can't, like, they're not making eye contact with me, but I don't want to look at the screen. Uh-huh. I try not to look. I feel like they're so close to TV. I feel like they are looking at you.

They're like next to me right now. The Travis are right behind me. Yeah. Yeah. They're just hovering. Yeah. Should we just offer them like a payout option? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Give them money and end it all. They could win or take 100 dollars all money i'm i'm down for that yeah they could either win the title of venmo them 100 or 100 bucks does anyone want the payout right now oh no okay okay top. What's your Venmo? What's your Venmo? So, can I just say a couple things? Yeah, absolutely. This isn't really. This isn't really.

Actually, you can. That's not how the payout. Oh, man. Payout. Oh. What's your Venmo? I don't have a Venmo. What does that mean?

Because he doesn't have a Venmo. That's my couple things. Do you have cash app? That was a part of the Venmo. What does that mean? Because he doesn't have a Venmo. That's my couple of things. Do you have cash app? That was a part of the Venmo. Do you have cash app? So hold on, hold on. I don't really have money. First of all, Brandon, I hate to do this live,

but it looks like you got something on your shirt there. Whoop. Oh. That's number one. This guy's taking the payout. Oh, no. Oh, God. We lost him.

He looks down. The number two is I'm from Canada. Oh. Wait, you've been from Canada this whole time? Yeah. You son of a bitch. All right, so I'll... We can Venmo to Canada. What does that matter?

PayPal? Yeah, I have PayPal. All right, here's what we're going to do. You and TJ figure it out. You get Venmo. I'll Venmo you $100. Sounds good. All right, okay.

Goodbye. Bye. See you, Travis. Bye, Travis. TJ, just follow up with him and make sure. I'll literally mail him a $100 bill. You can't send Venmos to Canada? No, I thought you could.

That was great. Would anyone like the payout option of $150? We're doing our best. Oh, Travis liked that. You absolute fools. Yeah, I don't understand. There's nothing to get. I like our final four.

Yeah. These guys are holding their ground. They're not going anywhere. Oh, he's smoking again. Can we put a shirt in the store with them, a Mount Rushmore of Travis? That's it right there. And a Tavis. Yeah, maybe they're just all of our Travises.

Oh, yeah. Because they're a very, it's a different group. Like, we got different beards. We got different styles. We got. Hell, one isn't a Travis. Right, one's not even a Travis. So maybe it's a panel of Travis.

All right, so here's what I think we should do I think what we should do is we could talk to the Travis's I think this it should work this way because we have four left one gets eliminated via a poll with the yak audience so then we get to three then everyone ranks their Travises in a secret ballot. So we get to two, and then we wheel. The wheel decides the ultimate Travis. Yes. The Yak audience definitely already made up. One of these guys are like, he needs to take Sass's seat on the Yak.

Travis is electric. Yeah, this guy's a fucking electric factory. Actually, can we... Ram Chicago. I want to put the two diabetics head to head. Oh, okay. I want highest blood sugar eliminated. Oh, that's great. Okay.

Okay. That works. Why not? I don't know. I was just trying to go over to my head. You guys have your machines on you right now? Oh, my God. No.

But I did just have two bagels, so he's fucked. Okay. I was just in BKA in the hospital because they couldn't even read my blood sugar. Oh, that dude is so diabetic. Blood sugar up. Wait, that was funny. That was funny. Okay.

But I feel like now, that's become a competition of who's the most diabetic. My blood sugar is so high, they can't even fucking read it. Have any of you overcome, like, worse diversity than just diabetes? Or being named Travis? I'm Puerto Rican.

Okay. Very difficult. Cussler, what do you have to say on that? I have a disease that when I was 12, my doctor told me was only found in teenage girls where I pass out super easily. Wait, what?

Teenage girls do pass out a lot. Yeah, they always did. At least they used to when I was one. Teenage girls do pass out a lot. Yeah, they always did in class. At least they used to when I was in school. I was there. They would always pass out? Once a class, someone that passed out. There were a lot of hyperventilating girls, too, in our school.

Always with the brown bag. Girls were always walking around high school just crying. Fainting Travis, when was the last time you had an episode? About a couple months ago, I hit my knee on the coffee table and then I passed out and I got a rug burn on my face right here and it scarred up pretty good. That's it?

I went face plant to the carpet. He's like the feigning goats. I like that one a lot. I like these guys. I do want to hear more from Tavis because I feel like he's definitely not supposed to be doing this right now. He's working.

I'm giving him a warranty. He hasn't even made a noise. No, and he keeps looking around. Yeah. No, luckily I'm in a conference room. I booked a room to work and took an early lunch.

So, but, yeah, no, I'm happy to be here. I did bring the baseball prospectus, if you guys want to read, from 2008. Isn't that a green cover? It has a green cover, yes. Open to a random page. Yeah, open to a random page. All right, let's see. All right, this is the milwaukee brewers um

jeff jenkins you have to feel for jenkins the longtime fan favorite and former first round pick played out the final year of his contract with the brewers he's compared to lee stevens mike ezler breakout 12 yeah a lot of uh very nerdy data and yet I read it so it says a lot about me yeah and he spelled Jeff a weird way yeah that's very much so nothing like the dozen baseball questions to really get you

in the excitement certainly and you're the one with the Vin Diesel collection that's Travis Top Travis that's the rug burn the Vin Diesel collection? No. That's Travis Top Travis. Oh. That's Guzzler. That's Rugburn. The Vin Diesel collection is awesome. Yeah, how did you get into that, Guzzler? Collecting Vin Diesel sharks.

Well, I just collect random toys and shit, and I remember seeing that video of Vin Diesel advertising for that, so I hit eBay, and I got one of them, and then I asked for the rest for christmas when i was 22 brilliant what's the most impressive toy in your collection or item in any of your collections um i have a funko pop it's the disney casey jr train it's got each of the characters and the total of the whole set is probably worth about $700 to $800 right now.

Oh. Should we try to raise the price? $200 buyout option. No. You're hanging on strong. Okay. I really just want a beeper. I've always wanted one.

Okay, well. Beepers are great. $250 cash or a beeper. I've always wanted one. Okay, well. Beepers are great. $250 cash or a beeper? Fuck. I made that one different. Call my bluff. Oh, shit. It's like you don't want a beeper.

These boys aren't budging. These boys aren't budging. Okay. And it looked like the Yakkers were all voting for a Travis to be voted off. It doesn't help. Well, that means Travis is safe. It could be autocorrect.

Oh, Matt and Otto, you're not wearing a shirt. No. What? No. He's got a robe on. You want to see my nipple ring? What? No He's got a robe on You want to see my nipple ring? What? Yeah, yeah

Yeah, we do Let me see if I can pop this titty up here Are you from the Bronx? Okay I got it on the year anniversary of my ass tattoo Oh, nice Good way to remember the ass tattoo. Yes.

I'll ask what's on it. What's on the nipple or what's on the butt? On your butt. It's the address of a college football house. 15 of us got them all together. We were fucking absolutely blown out. Dude, it was bad. But I like it.

I can't see it, obviously. Yeah. Where did you play football? Oh, I didn't play. I just somehow got into the football house at SUNY Cortland. That's right on. He's doing everything right. Love that.

So should we have a chat poll? A chat poll to vote one of the Travis's off. Just do it one, two, three, four, right down. Then we'll get to three. We can figure out what we do with three. So they can, yeah, the chat sees what we see, right? One, two, three, four. I believe so.

All right. Can we do a ten-minute chat? A ten-minute poll? Yeah. Sorry, there were a few... What are the predictions for the chat? To be clear, you're voting one off, so you're voting the guy you like the least.

Yes. But you're all still great. Yeah, no, you guys are... Or are you voting for your favorite, and then the one with the least gets... We're going to have a... I'm titling the poll Eliminate One Travis. Okay.

Yeah, you guys are the Mount Rushmore Travis. What was that? I don't know. You guys can hear us? What? I just said skeekoot. I didn't know you guys can hear us? What? Huh? I just said skeet goot. I didn't know you guys can hear us. Sorry, I apologize.

Do any of you have aspirations beyond your current careers? Yeah. Are you kidding me? Okay. Okay. Word, word. Fair enough Good answer He's an ambitious fellow

Yeah I don't want to talk too much And be fucking Oh yeah no Oh Oh Poll is running in the chat Okay

Well I did try and be A famous podcaster But that didn't work out No. Poll is running in the chat. Okay. Well, I did try and be a famous podcaster, but that didn't work out. Yeah. True. Y'all don't understand the name, dude. It's pretty tough out there. Podcasting? Saturated, yeah.

Trapped door to hell? That's a good name for a podcast. Yeah. Thank you. Hours and hours of not thinking about it. I like the name. Whoever gets eliminated here today, y'all could start a Travis podcast. That's true. By the way, I just want to clarify, the elimination right now, we all love all four of you.

This is the Yak chat, so be upset at the Yak chat for whoever they eliminate. They don't like us either. Now we get to turn the tables on them because they always hate our decision making so this is their fault yeah i got the yak chat yesterday there was a lot of uh tavis speech impediment tavis lisp yesterday yeah i said that wrong too and so i was like oh man i know what these guys have to deal with every day this is yeah this is crazy i mean i'd love to do these video things obviously Obviously, I'm a Toyota guy, but I saw the chat. I'm like, man, these guys definitely get it for sure. Yeah.

Don't let them get at you, Travis. Don't let them get at you. Oh, I loved it. I was laughing right along. It was funny. Good. I like to see the solidarity between Travis and Travis. Absolutely.

You've got to stick together. You've just got to. Travis, what are your thoughts on the Toyota logo? The Toyota logo? Yeah. I didn't learn until I was here for a few years that it made up the shape of a T and had individual meaning on it. It has every letter of Toyota in it as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? Yeah, so it's kind of cool that they've done that. Pull that up? No. Pull up the logo. I also believe the sentence, a Toyota race-fast safe car is the same forwards and backwards. A Toyota race-fast safe car

comma a Toyota I think is... T or is it a T? Cap it away. Where's the cap away? I see it all. Oh, there is a cap away. There's another T.

Holy fucking shit. I'm having is a cap. Yep. There's another T. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Only three. I'm having trouble seeing the Y, actually. They have a graphic that goes one by one. The Y is right there, yeah. A little bit. It's a little. Taking some liberties.

Yeah, we're taking liberties with the Y. See if you can find the video where it breaks it down. That's like the bull. Oh. There you go. Here we go. That's the picture. T.

Oh. O. Y. Oh, wow. There you go. Here we go. T-O-Y. Oh, wow. Would you look at that? Pretty cool. Yeah, that's awesome. So, Logo Nerd, how awesome is that? I was the one that brought it up. I know, but you have a list of these things in your mind.

It's pretty cool when it comes to car logos. I still like the Civics logo more because the C's in Civic are the taillights of the car itself. I need to see that, too. All right, can we see that, please? There's an arrow in the FedEx logo more because the c's and civic are the taillights of the car itself i need to see that too all right can we see that there's an arrow in the fedex logo shut the fuck up they're changing it i think even for me that doesn't uh when you guess the car one seems always impossible to me when he covers the car logo i don't know how people do that favorite one yeah what's your least favorite Toyota model? They got rid of my favorite, which was the Avalon. The same.

Oh, my God. Tavis. Stop producing that. I had that one. That was my big project for five years. Tavis, hold on. What was your favorite year for the Avalon? Well, I have a special because I was on the 2019 project. That's my special one. But I know a lot of people probably – I bet you have historical one probably.

Yeah, what was your favorite? It was a simple question. 2019. 2019, but it's a bias pick. No, no, no. Take the bias out. What's the best stretch of the Avalon? 05, 010 I think it is.

Yeah, I had a 2000 Avalon. It was luxurious. First car. Yeah, it was like that was everyone's first car. Yeah, it was the best car. Yeah, I'm so upset. Still upset that that died on us and switched out. Yeah, they made it all sleek and shit. It ruined it.

I've totaled my 2000 Toyota Avalon in 2014 going four miles an hour. Wow. It's tough to do. Yeah. Well, I mean, it had a lot of miles on it. I got in a fender bender that was like a $2,000 accident. And they're like, it's totaled. And that's when I realized it was like 145,000.

So that's some good years. Some good years with my Toyota Avalon. And yeah, it was when Brian Erlacher was cut by the bears. And I was driving up Clybourne, stop and go traffic. He got cut. I looked at my phone. Bam. Four mile an hour accident totaled.

Jesus, that's so annoying. Yeah. Well, because that was the first time I realized that if the car is old and worth nothing, total can be like a scratch. Yeah. Kind of blew my mind. Did you see Lamello Ball pulling out of his venue?

The compilation, he just runs the red light every time wait can we see it some dude commented like a drives like a complete dickhead he drives like a like a lunatic some dude commented

some like racist ass thing though he was like what was he like yeah yeah go ahead go ahead no it was just

it was funny cause he commented and was like, you can take the kid out of the neighborhood, but you can't take the neighborhood out of the kid. And everyone was like, dude, he's from a rich suburb. He's from Calabasas. It's a neighborhood.

I know, but he was trying to say, I don't know, racism? Not good? Wait, so this is LaMelo Ball? Blows every red light. Nope. This is pretty awesome. Is he in a different car every time? Wait, that's a very red light.

Just be driving. Jesus Christ. Respect. I mean, you've got to be bored in Charlotte. Yeah. I like Charlotte. I don't know if I did. Never been.

It seems so average to me. Yeah, it's average. It's fine. I like it because it's basically like if the best way to describe it is Bank of America just built a city. Yeah, sounds awesome. It's wide open, too. Right. Yeah.

What do you mean by that, though? Like it's like almost like a Sim City. Like, you know, when you go to some cities, you're like, oh, this has been New York or Philly or Boston or Chicago. Like you're like, oh, this has history. It's like Charlotte. It's like, did they build this yesterday? They got an Ikea. Yeah. You're downtown on a Saturday and you don't see another soul. Right. Like, where is that?. It's like Charlotte. It's like, did they build this yesterday? They got it at Ikea. Yeah.

You're downtown on a Saturday, and you don't see another soul. Right. You're like, where is that? I kind of like it. Yeah, it's like a new age city. What were you going to say, Travis Maldonado? I was going to ask KB, what was this? If I don't know this, apologize,

but what's the significance of your Stanford tea? My girlfriend went there. Oh, okay. Did you? No, no. I thought you were going to say. Went to Cortland. I thought you were going to say. there. Oh, okay. Did you? No, no. I thought you were going to say because I saved the wrestling program. I did that too. Yeah, I'm a fan.

Okay. Are you Zoom meeting about to end? I'm a big fan of their women's basketball team and Big Cat. I don't know what the line is, but I have a future plus 700, plus 800, plus 450. It's a little pick for you. Take them to win the chip. The favorites in South Carolina. Cameron Brink's the best player in the country.

Are you a fan of the team or a fan of betting on them? I'm a fan of the team and a fan of betting. Russell Wilson's sister's on the team? She graduated last year, but yeah, Anna Wilson, she used to be their point guard. Can't shoot, but tremendous defender and ball handler. You know a lot about him. Like that Texas fake coach who always goes viral for looking hot. Who?

Forget her name. She's a director of player development, but you would think she's the head coach. She's hot. She's a piece? What's her name? Yeah. Fuck yeah, baby!

That's sick. I fell in love with a girl on an ad a couple days ago. She was just, it was like a collapsible table. I just bought one. Yeah, that happened when I was younger. At Target. Did you ask Pilar

to put that up, TJ? I'm in love with a girl that was like on a poster. We have the Toyota logo on it, or if not, maybe just have it say Toyota. Oh yeah, maybe it can't say Toyota logo.

You just wanted to have it say Toyota logo? Can you build a Travis logo? And all the letters of Travis. It's kind of the same, I guess. Yeah, it's similar. Any chance we can get extended sizes on that thing? Because, listen.

We're going to put it up. It's going to sell about four. These four guys right here. I'm not going to buy one. You can go more than three X's. Who said that? That was Travis, too. Oh, there we go.

Maldonado, are you from the city? Maybe TJ, wait, and we'll make it even better. Long Island? Okay. Yeah. We'll make a better Mount Rushmore and Travis shirt to signify this incredible day. I can send TJ better pics of me if you know what I'm saying.

I got some stuff in the... I think this will be one of those cult classic shirts that like 20 Yak fans will buy, and then they will show up and they'll be like, what did I just do? We'll make it good. We'll make it look good. The Joe Montana peanut M&M.

Oh, yeah. That's a unique one. We need like a big dog saying for this shirt. Maybe on the back, really big letters. All right. So, TJ, do breaking news music and then just eliminate a Travis. We don't know the poll results. Just knock him out?

Just knock him out. Goodbye to one of you. We love you. Good luck boys. You're all lovely. It's nice that you did this. One of you is the least lovely. Okay, breaking news. Who do we think it's going to be? It's going to be Travis.

I hope it's not Tavis. Oh, boy. TJ. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, I guess there's no fast way to do it. Well, this is awkward. Oh, no.

It didn't take. Oh, no, it didn't take. Hi, Travis. Oh, no, it still hasn't. Oh, no. Oh, no, it didn't take. Hi, Travis. Oh, no, it still hasn't. Oh, hey. What about it? Oh, there it goes. Oh, God.

Damn. You feel good about that, chat? Oh, wow. And he made a good joke right at the end, too, about not buying the shirt. I know. I don't think that. I think that was one that said that. No. No. Those two? Those I think that was one that said that. No.

Those two? Those two. It's actually the best joke. Or we do secret ballot. Do the high noon ad and then I think we do secret ballot. Everyone ranks their Travis's text TJ your Travis rankings and then he will just eliminate the bottom.

My Zoom's going to end in five minutes so I might have to get them back in here. Damn, yeah, we didn't support it for the Zoom. We need to get him some contact info. Would you guys rather just do a three-man wheel? The wheel is just. All right. Let's do it. Unless anybody wants a buyout.

One more buyout. One more buyout. $250. Oh. Wow. Oh. Wow. They're right here, though. It doesn't matter. The prize is nothing.

You win nothing. Except we might call you a couple times a year. I would have gone for $5. Yeah. How many toilets are you selling? Take that $250. Come on. I'm have gone for $5. Yeah. Travis Braynall, how many toilets are you selling? Take that $2.50, papa. Come on. He's just winging it. Nah, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. Alright.

You guys should take it, though. Certainly. I like this. So, TJ, do the wheel. Three of them. We'll eliminate one right away, and then there'll be two left, and we'll do a best of seven, and we'll do it before the five minutes. We don't have to get a new zoo. Alright. Oh man.

This is also one of those things that I love these moments because in the moment this is just the dumbest idea ever. But you know in like six months the chat will be like Yak has jumped the shark. Like I miss when they did funniest trappists. Whatever happened to that?

Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay. All right, so whoever it hits on right now is eliminated. Oh, man. Wow. Travis is stress eating. I feel very confident with all three of these guys.

Whoever becomes the Travis. I like them all. Yep, I like them all. I like them all. I could talk myself in. They all three of these guys. Whoever becomes the Travis. I like them all. Yep, I like them all. I like them all. Like, I could talk myself in. They all have different character traits. But do we want to say if you had to choose, which one would you choose? Yeah, mine would be Tavis.

Anderson's my guy. Anderson's your guy? I think Maldonado's my guy. I'm torn. That means nothing, so you know, Travis Maldonado. I'm Maldonado, too. You could have just had $250. You could have left here and bought a Nintendo Switch.

But what's more valuable? It's not even us deciding. It's the wheel. $250 or that one time I said Travis Maldonado's my guy? Yeah. Is it worth it? Priceless. You already said it.

Come on, Kate. All right, here we go. Oh, no. I have a bad feeling about Tavis here. Oh, Gunderson. Oh, Gunderson. Hi, Gunderson. Love you, Gunderson.

Yeah, we love you. And a pleasure. You are an absolute treat. He's a good guy. Thank you, guys. Gunderson. Bring back the podcast, Gunderson. Trapdoor to hell.

All right. I will. All right. All right. Fuck. Later, guys. Bye. What did you do?

He's a little hurt. He needs to go back to work. Get him out of here. Jesus Christ. It's like sad eyes. It is. It's staring through our souls Something about that

Oh man It takes way too long to kick people from Zoom Are you sure you want to kick him? Oh no How much time do we have? 2.30 Alright, go And then the winner can do a speech

Alright, there's best of seven Unless anyone's bought out First, $300 And then the winner can do a speech. All right, this is best of seven. Unless anyone's bought out. First, $300. Ah, yo. All right. I'll send you $200 if you want that, too. No.

All right, so first to four wins. Go. Just rip through the spins because we only have two minutes left. You want it to land on your name, right? Yes. First to four wins. Wait, you do? Yes.

Now you want it. On an auto. On right? Yes. First to four wins. Wait, you do? Yes. Now you want it. Maldonado. On nothing, Maldonado. Best of four. It's over. It's done. Oh, he knows what he's doing. Oh, Tavis, you dog.

You dog. Oh, it's two nothing. Two nothing, Maldonado. Now it's really done. Oh, man. I'm going to start packing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's smart. Oh, man. I'm going to start packing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's smart. He's smart.

It was a good meeting, y'all. If you ever need it. Oh, no. It's 3-0. You never know, Tavis. If you ever need a dozen baseball calls, give me a ring. I'll see you in the baseball game. Ever again.

Oh, yeah. Don't beat yourself up, guys. You've got to come back here. I believe in you, mama. There we go. All right. 2-1. There we go. One for Tavis. This would be an all-time comeback. You've got to come back here. I believe in you, buh-bye. There we go. All right, two more. There we go.

One for Tavis. This would be an all-time comeback. He's got it. I don't think I've seen a 3-0. This is classic Tavis. I don't think I've seen a 3-0. Isn't it classic Tavis to, like, get to the finals? Oh, yes.

Tavis out. Tavis. Don't count Tavis out. Just be perfect for his whole life story. So do I want? I want game seven. I want a non-Travis to win. Oh, it's going to...

Wait! Golden Auto wins. Golden Auto! Good job, Travis. Yeah, Travis. Good being here. All right. See you.

There's a tremble to his voice. Bye. See you, Travis. It's a pleasure. All right. Bye. I do feel like that was for the best. His name's not Travis. And again, perfect for his life to

be like, I was the second funniest Travis. Alright, so Maldonado, you have like 40 seconds. Anything you want to say? I just want to say I love and appreciate you all. It's been an absolute fucking pleasure. This was so fucking stupid, but it was great. This is what the people like, just dumb, stupid shit to get us through the hump, get us through the day.

So I appreciate you, Kate. I love you. You're the best. I love you, too. Thank you, Travis. Big hat on being honest. Take Stanford plus 700 to win the chip. I will.

I guarantee you. I will. Oh, that was it. Perfect. Perfect. Oh, man. Those are great guys. They were.

Travis Maldonado is our Travis now. Yeah, it was the antithesis of what I wanted. I wanted rambunctious buffoons, but they were quality dudes. They were quality dudes. Human beings. He looked like a hefty lubega. He was great. We get a graphic made for the funniest Travis.

He officially did win. What a moment. Don't tag him. What a guy. Any of them could have had $300. But instead, they're getting a full-time position at Barstool. Dave will be in touch. Dave will be in touch, don't you worry.

Oh, man, that was a perfect ending. Takes Stanford plus two up. I will say, too, he was the funniest Travis. Yeah, he was. He really was the funniest Travis. I do agree with that. He was. Yeah. Funny was. He really was the funniest Travis. I do agree with that. He was. Yeah.

Funny guy. So we did that. Congrats, everyone. We should feel accomplished. We found America's funniest Travis. Yeah, we did. No other show has done that. He might be.

He might be. Very well could be. Very well could be. Yes. And we will call him whenever we have a Travis question. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

We did it. I missed the competition. Do it again. We'll get Gunnarsson back. Let's reset it. We didn't even get to tell him that he's now Carter. Here's the beauty of this. Is that the guy's name, right?

Yeah, Carter. If you don't think we're running America's Funniest Travis 2024, you're crazy. Oh, my God, yeah. This is absolutely happening again this time next year. We should do it live on a stage. Want to do that High Noon ad? High Noon is the best drink. High Noon is the weekend.

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and guava i have had the pear and cranberry and the pear is absolutely delicious and wonderful look for high noon on drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store. Or you can visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find delicious High Noon near you. High Noon. No malts. No malts. We also have the Yak St. Patrick's Day shirts. Oh, yeah.

Guaranteed delivery. If you order by next week, there's one right next to Nick next to the chair if you could just hold that up it's also on the screen Brandon wore them Brandon wore the medium I did if you would like the one that I wore you can pay extra

I will send it to you also everyone please buy Rowan's Battle Rap. Oh, yeah. Tomorrow night. It's going all to charity. So check that out for Pat's Day's family. Can I ask a question, Steven?

Sure. The prep sheet under other says, Is Brandon sneaky good at roller skating? No evidence, just a hunch. He's talking about your posture. I get it. I get it. Yeah. I can see you being pretty good at roller skating no evidence just a hunch let's talk about your posture I get it I get it yeah I could see you being pretty good at roller skating you seem old enough where you could have gone to like a roller skating rink on a Saturday and like I feel like southern people are better at roller skating and you are sneaky athletic so I feel are you are you a good roller skater I had roller blades from the age of 18 to 30. That's different. I knew it. Oh, hold on.

It's different. Way different. I was good at rollerblading. I never roller skated past the age of 17, so I would say I'm good at rollerblading. I wouldn't say I'm good at roller skating, but they're close enough. I think you can call them the same thing. I could blade well, but I can't skate at all.

I can't stand up on them. I don't even know how skating works. What is the difference? Rollerblading is harder. Those are two different things. Oh, rollerblading is easier. Rollerblading is harder. Blades are the ones in a row.

The roller skates are two and two. How do you push off with two? No idea. I love those videos of the roller skating groups that dance together.

It's like always the old time reviews. They're so in sync. They're so good. You just buying roller skates? Yeah, and we're going to find out. Wait, how often were you roller skating before 18? Not this Super Bowl, obviously.

This one, I don't know. Once a year, maybe? Twice a year? Oh, okay. Yeah, not often. Roller rink birthdays. When I went to college, I thought, oh, I'll be a cool guy and I'll have rollerblades. Did you rollerblade to class?

I didn't because it was all gravel driveways. Who was a cool guy that rollerblades? Nate. He rollerblades all over the city. One of the first times I went to a bar with Nate, he was like, all right, I'm going to rollerblade down. It was in like three hours he showed up just drenched in sweat. He was like, maybe I shouldn't have. Because he had to go down Stone Street.

Yeah. Rollerblades. Yeah, stones. Just all cobblestone. Death wish in the city. He was committed to it. Yeah.

He was trying to get in shape. You can't do it on the sidewalk, right? You gotta do it on the- People go over to the Hudson on that trail. Yeah. That would be fun.

Yeah. That's pretty- Size 15 is hard to find. Remember we had real bumpy road growing up and we all got rollerblades you ever go down a real bumpy road

on roller skates and it makes your legs like itch I dribbled piss really yeah you ever go down like a bumpy road

on like a razor scooter yes your hands are like it hurts it hurts your hands yeah what's up with that remember we had that

and then they repaved our street it was just smooth sailing after that. Oh, yeah. It was fun. Nothing better than rollerblading on a tennis court. Uh-huh.

Gliding. Gliding. Nice smooth spot. A marble temple. Yeah. Yep. I always used to do that. Yeah.

I used to blade at the Marble temples all the time I was a little far from a marble temple So I'd ride my bike But then I could rollerblade Yeah you'd ride your bike too You'd carry the Rollerblade to your shoulder I'd wear them while I was riding the bike

Scooter If you're walking It's the marble temple Is the place to do it It's the best feeling Satisfying Alright Damn Maybe I'll Maybe I'll get out and blade today You have rollerblades? it. It's the best feeling. Satisfying. Alright.

Maybe I'll get out and blade today. You have rollerblades? No, I bought some in LA. Oh, you do? Oh, you left them there. They're somewhere in a hotel. Probably not. Probably in the trash. They're probably in a landfill somewhere. Yeah. I rip sticking

on a tennis court, too. Oh, that was fun. Tuesday, I just buy a pair of $250 roller skates. Why? I have a lot of money. Why don't you just give me $250? You don't need to burn it, though. That's the thing.

You got pagers. We got restaurant pagers. We got roller skates. Two things that you will literally never use. Oh, no. We'll watch Brandon fall. It'll be awesome. Yeah, true.

You want to call any of my poor homies and give them some money? Do you buy blades or skates? Skates. Okay. I want to see him roll her skate. All right. I don't know that I can do it, but yeah, sure. For an entire week, you just have skates on?

I've got to have skates on the whole week? During the yak. But this is, we're just sitting. You know, Brandon, go grab a skate. That could be like a real hot girl thing over the pandemic. A lot of hot girls getting roller skates and doing little dance routines. Yeah. I might go through those guys.

Were they really hot? Ugly ass girls. Figured. I can't wait to watch you rollerblade. What? Skate. Skate, skate, skate, skate. There's a good surface for it, too.

I just don't know why they came to... Oh, yeah, thank you. Why did they come to Stephen Chay's mind? It's Brandon Sneaky good at roller skating. No evidence, just a hunch. Then you were, and he was right. I had to think of stuff, and that came to my mind. Have you ever been to a luau?

Ever have you? I bet you'd love it. The second question, the follow-up question to that is crazy. Nobody would dislike a luau. Have you ever been to a luau, and the second question is, who would thrive most at one? How do you thrive at a luau? I would thrive at a wigwam. Buddy, you would thrive at a luau.

How? Why? Good personality. You could talk to people. Plus, they got a lot of pork there. Yeah, you'd be fine. I feel like we'd all do fine. You could wear shirts that hide your figure.

Yeah, you're a Hawaiian shirt guy anyway. Should we have a luau? Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. That would be fun. Yeah, you're a Hawaiian shirt guy anyway. Should we have a luau? Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. That would be fun. Buy a whole pig? That would be sick.

Okay. That could be one of those quarterly things. Yeah. You buy a pig on Amazon? We can have a pig race. Yeah. No, we can cook one. Can't leave the room until you...

Somebody's got to get control of the big cat and his money. Let's do a luau. Let's do a luau. I figure out... Steven, do you figure out how to get us a pig? If he's going to spin like this, let's make sure he's spinning. A big pig with a spit, the whole thing,

and we'll do a luau. A spit is a fire, right? I don't think we can do that. It's controlled. I'm in. I'll look into that and I'll get that booked. That could be a special thing we do oh we should do it in Brandon's backyard

yeah actually dig a pit and like charcoal oil the pig in the pit set up a bad mitten net I already have one I don't have what is that? volleyball?

tetherball nobody likes tetherball. I used to have one. What the hell are you? Tetherball is a bluff. Nobody likes tetherball. Who's the best tetherball player in the world? I can see.

That's also a loving tetherball. I'll buy him out. Hold on, guys. That's surprising that you don't like tetherball because I think you would love it. Have you actually ever played tetherball with rules? Yes. Yes. Brandon, how big is it?

It's so fun. Not that big. We're going to need to wait until Chicago for this thing. No. No, no, no. We're going to need to wait to Chicago for this thing. No. No, no, no, no. We're going to crash this. Oh, I think... I think...

I think we do the 12-hour yak where we're just roasting a pig for 12 hours in Brandon's house. You want to do everything and just do it all at once? Let's do it all at once. Yeah, a mega... We got 12 hours to fill.

How long does it take to fly to Iran? Yeah. No, we do the... We start it at 1 o'clock. We start the pig. And then at 1 a.m., we all go home. Go home. We have to sleep there.

Yeah, we have to sleep there. That's a pretty solid day. I mean, that's not even, that wouldn't even be that crazy. No. We're laved up. Just hanging out. Hanging out. All having separate conversations.

It gets so boring. What? What was that, Steven? What? This guy's back. Treschko Deliver guy. The detective is back. I love that.

Dog. And a dog. That dog has a full name. That's Bradley Cooper. Yeah. I think he's supposed to come in the yak room for something. Are the Coopers black? Dog.

Oh, look at us. Oh! Pretty cool. I don't know how to do this. Technology is getting out of hand. That's a very pleasant beach. Mate, I thought Brandon was right next to me. That's a great beach.

Where is that? Hawaii? Oh, yeah. Hawaii. Island? Big island. I mean, you can walk out in that. There's not a lot of surf.

It's not... Yeah. I'd like to go there. I need my beach to be a little bit crowded. Yeah. Get the full... Yeah, I don't. I don't like the sounds.

An empty beach impresses me. When anybody gets Yeah. To get the full. Yeah, I don't. I don't like an empty beach. The sound of the fanfare. When anybody gets within 15 feet of me at a beach, I really hate it. I don't like it, but I need them there to enjoy it fully. I agree with you. Best empty beach ever. Best empty beach ever. Just one answer.

I don't know. What beaches are actively empty? Do you have the answer, Stephen Chair? Fictional? Gold Coast, Hawaii? No. Chris Christie when he closed the New Jersey. Oh, that was a good picture.

It was chilling on his own. That is the most insane move of all time. So funny. And the fact they got him with a drone or a helicopter just sitting there all fat. So fat. So fat. That's the fattest a person's been.

Yeah, look at him. You zoom out. Oh, no. So fat. So fat. That's the fattest a person's been. Yeah, look at him. You zoom out. Oh, no. There it is. Yeah. Him playing baseball was the fattest anybody. Oh. Oh, and also when he did the M&M's into the smaller M&M's.

Oh, yeah. The smaller M&M's. Just looks. Yeah. Throw. That left. Oh, man. He's built like an M&M.

Bill. Oh. Those are two golf tees. Like a Humpty Dumpty. Yeah. He yelled at that guy once. That looks like the egg you put in a cup for breakfast.

Right. Why is he yelling at that guy? Real close to him. Throwing pictures is so fucking funny. Do you want that Travis shirt made? We should make it better. I don't know. Okay.

I think that's the essence of Travis. I don't know if it'll change anything. All right, yeah, then let's do it. Okay. I don't think that's the essence of Travis. I don't know if it'll change anything. All right, yeah, then let's do it. If I was getting jumped and I shit myself, do you think I'd stop getting jumped? Like the person would stop beating me up? Yeah.

Well, I mean, you have to really, for them to notice the shit. Yeah, because it takes a lot of time. If I'm getting jumped, I start taking my clothes off and then shit myself. I think it'd be better getting hard. Okay. Because, like, the poop, you shit yourself, it takes a while for someone to notice. Unless I grab it to ward them off.

True. I almost think it'd be impossible to get hard while getting jumped, though. Yeah. I can see you shitting yourself, but. Instead of mace, you're walking around with the women's perfume. Right. You need it real fast, and you spray yourself. That might get them hard, too.

True. Oh, boy. That's a whole new can of worms. Fuck, yeah. Pickles are definitely hard to jump someone when you're hard. Or maybe not. You should try. Probably easier.

I'm horny as fuck. Let's get them. I don't know. I think I could shit myself and get away with it. I think the poop is a good deterrent. I really do. And actually, what if a boxer had a 13-inch dick

and they used that as a way to get distance? Can't get within reach. It's just he's hard the whole time yeah it goes upwards so it's probably and you're just like what the fuck out of a loophole you know if you're getting jumped and you shit yourself and it doesn't work you've had the worst day of all time yeah because you you're out of money you've been beaten up and you're covered in shit yeah and it's not even

because i had to shit. Like, I forced it out as a deterrent. Yeah. Okay. I've just been trying to think of ways to get out if I'm ever to get beat up. Right. Were you thinking about what happened to me? Huh?

Were you thinking about what happened to me? What happened to you? Oh, I told you. Oh, were you not here when I told you? He wasn't here. He missed it. Did I tell you guys yesterday? A couple days ago.

Two days ago. Oh, you definitely told me about the dudes that came into the bodega. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should have shit. Did Big Cat hear this, though? They jumped you? Guys in ski masks. No, I was at a bodega at, like, midnight, and three dudes came in in ski masks and just,

like, took money from a dude and then left. It's pretty cool. I was horrified. And I was, like, thinking for, like, hours. I was, like, I don't know what I would have done if they came up to me. Giving them your money or your cards. I didn't have any money. Just give them your wallet.

I didn't want to do that, though. Of course you didn't want to. What if they recognize you and they're like, aren't you a millionaire? You read that online. I wouldn't give them shit. They wouldn't kill me. No? They wouldn't do anything.

Not in public. What would you do? Yeah, I would. Yeah, I would. Instantly. Did you on Pick Central talk about Mincy's baseball preview? No. I didn't find out about it until after I got off of it.

I have a time walk on this. How does it keep happening? I think that we're getting inside jobbed on this. What? What happened this time? I don't know what it is, but I agree. Getting inside jobbed. All right. I'll play itbed. All right, so...

I'll play it first. Yeah. Where is it? By the way, unrelated to the baseball video, Brandon. Yeah? You should look into

the Pelicans deal. I heard about that. I've heard, you know... What actually happened. We've all heard things. Do some investigative journalism. No no I certainly don't think we should we should

you should do some investigative journalism I mean I've heard the same things you've heard okay so you should make some calls get some sources on the record

it'd be a great blog what a blog investigate the man I don't know that we need to do that I think it'd be very funny I'll send Rico to do that. I think it would be very funny. I'll send Rico to do it.

He's blogging again. Okay. How does it keep happening? This is Mitzi with Bart Stuhl Baseball getting you ready for three huge college baseball series this weekend. We'll start off with the number 13 team in the country, the Maryland Terrapins, traveling to the defending national champions I guess you can't really tell the qualities that bad. The qualities are horrendous. They're horrendous, but you can really, really tell the letters. I don't know how you achieve that. It's never happened to anybody else on accident.

You hold the phone weird. A phone won't capture that quality. I don't know. I don't know how it's happening. Can I tell you why I'm woke on this? Because the logos are fucked up? There's no way Mincy put these logos on himself. Oh. He sent the video. One of our guys put the logos on.

Scuffed the quality. Then put the text on top. You can scuff quality like that? You can do anything. I think he's sitting in the dark on purpose. He's definitely in the dark. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

There he is. Are people in the comments woke on it? Or is there a lot of people? Or no? Well. Hmm. Yeah, I think he got done dirty, but he did send it small. Okay. I think what's happening is Mincy's taking these videos with his phone

and then texting it to his producer, and he doesn't have Wi-Fi, so he's just sending small videos. Who is assigned as Mincy's producer? Who knows? I would love to talk to that person. Yeah. Well, Mincy did say that when he goes to New Orleans, he's going to get himself an Austin. I was like, I don't have an Austin. Yeah, but you're not taking it to the people either.

That's true. That's true. Yeah, we should do an inside job where we get someone to be Mincy's assistant and report back to us. That would be amazing. That would be incredible. I would just love to know what Mincy would be asking him to do. We have, I mean.

Tweet this video? Yeah. We have somebody in the Pelicans organization who's ready to sing on him right now. Or who is singing. True, true. We should do some investigation. I might look into it. Explosive story.

Not everything is as it seems. People that look forward to Pelicans night or Barstool Night at Pelicans. So the Pelicans were going to be like soup to nuts Barstool Night. Are you just saying it? I'm asking. That was my understanding. Okay. Which is a big thing, I feel like.

It's a huge thing. Except I don't think that's what they were going to do at all. Oh, that's interesting. Okay. I think they were going to get the... Is it like a deal where you just like... It's like a bachelor party thing where you like to say hello to... A lot of people probably bought tickets. It's a new leaf, Brandon. I like it.

No, there were more horsemen than people that were going to go to that. I like to live in a world that Mincy's only crime was going too viral. So funny. I love that he apologized for it. He needs to not, like, you're Ben Mintz. Don't wear the Barstool Sportsbook sweatshirt because you could go viral at any moment. Right. Yeah, super viral.

Pelicans was pissed. He just walks out the door. Was it super viral or mega viral? It was mega viral. Yeah, super viral. Pelicans was pissed. He just walks out the door. Was it super viral or mega viral? It was mega viral. It was mega viral. And maybe if he just reposted it with a blur. Yeah. Yeah.

That'd be good. Do the other ad, Brandon. Yeah. I'm the ad guy? Yeah, you are the ad guy. You do great ads. GameTime is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. They're the only ticketing company Barstool Sports uses to buy tickets.

If you want to, because now there's no Pelicans night, but if you still want to go to that game, still want to go to the game for the Pelicans and the Thunder on March whatever, go to GameTime. And you get good late-minute, last-minute tickets created by fans, for fans. GameTime is a new ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows, not just games.

You can also go to concerts like Billy Joel or Billy Ray Cyrus or Billy somebody else. I don't know. You can go see any Billy you'd like. They guarantee the lowest price. They crack the code on how to score deals on last-minute tickets. It's possible with the GameTime app. The biggest last-minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy. The purchase process takes two taps and ten seconds.

Once you buy your tickets, they're delivered directly to your phone, no printer needed. The app also allows you to easily share tickets with friends via text so you can get into the game seamlessly. You skip the hassle, enjoy the moment. Again, they figured out exactly how to give you the right price for last-minute tickets. So if you wake up the day of a game, say you're going to an NFL game on Sunday, you wake up Sunday morning, I want to go, GameTime is the best place.

Download the GameTime app or go to the website, enter your email, redeem code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Again, download the GameTime app, go to the website, enter your email and redeem code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Again, download the Game Time app. Go to the website. Enter your email. Redeem code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Terms do apply. Steven, I would like to – I know that you are no longer in your content only, right?

I am content only. Ad copy doesn't go through you, right? Correct. Can I just talk to you about the ad copy of this particular ad? ad sure i'm going to read the first two bullet points of this ad it's bullet point one bullet point two are you ready for me to read those yes this is the exclusive ticketing partner of barstool sports they're the only ticketing company barstool sports used to buy tickets that's the first bullet point okay the second bullet point that i'm supposed to read right after that this is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

Dude, ran it redundant as hell. Sure. Right there on the – Sorry. Typing this shit up. I copied and pasted it from something else, but I'll be sure. Apologies to make your eyes jump those couple words.

I will make the necessary adjustments next time. If I make mistakes, you get made around here. And everyone's getting to see right now, this is how Brandon treats everyone on the third floor. I'm just talking to Stephen. First of all, I never go to the third floor. Secondly, this is how I treat Stephen Shea. Sure. I'm certainly one of the examples.

I don't like that y'all act like I treat producers poorly, because I don't. I treat them. Treat them wonderfully. I know. When you went up to the third floor because there was churros, you said, time to make some people's day. He appreciated that.

Not just churros. There were also empanadas. Oh, yeah. Those were good. Yeah. Have you seen that goddamn weasel who woofs down sticks of butter and testicles and um that's his thing no he's a skinny boy and i was on him early and he was clearly not swallowing the butter or the gross foods and everyone was like bullying him into it now he's

swallowing it consuming it on camera and and he's dying. His pigment is changing rapidly. His hairline's going. He's dying in front of us. What's his name? I know who you're talking about. Is it the kid that did all the talkies in the bowl, too? I think he's an athlete. I think he's a rower.

He's trying to do a health crazy thing where it's like, all I eat is raw meat and butter. And people are like, you're not eating that. It's fake. And then now he actually is. You can see his skin tone is crazy. What? Righteous. I'll tip you righteous.

Tip you like an oil baron. Yeah, yeah. This best of KB thread had me crying. Oh, yeah, it was so good. I said that at Leigh Benderdown. I was like, I'm going to tip him like an oil bear. That's a good one. I do like his shirt.

Eat a stick of butter every single day. Aside from tasting amazing, butter is packed with fat-soluble nutrients like vitamin K2 and beta-carotene, which are critical for the functioning of your body and your brain. I don't know. It doesn't match what he's saying. I think I'm not. He's an animatronic. He looks fake. For the functioning of your body and your brain. I don't know. It doesn't match what he's saying. He's an animatronic. He looks fake.

As you start to eat more butter, you will feel so much better. Steaks look good. Improve cognition, metabolic function, sleep, skin. Butter is so good. Just eat the butter. I just want to see you eat the butter. Okay. That's what I'm having for lunch. Very reasonable bite.

Why do I eat? Was he about to spit it out right there? He's done way weirder. So now he's eating it? Can we see a newer one? Who posted it? OB-NIP sign. Posted it on Twitter.

Why are you still alive? You asshole. Why? Here's how to shop for an animal. You see these horns? This guy's weird. Yeah, I hate him. Yeah, I don't like this.

Wisconsin guy. There's the testicles. Oh, no. I've eaten testicles before. Y'all ever eaten testicles? No. I've eaten bullicles before. Y'all ever eaten testicles? No. I've eaten bull testicles a lot.

I've sort of fallen in a dude who just pranks his dad all the time, and it made me miss so much of people at BAM. I remember those days when he would, and Tom Green, too. They would just fuck their, like BAM would just go in and beat the fuck out of his dad at like 3 in the morning. It was, yeah. The hardest I've ever laughed. What's this guy's name? And he dug that hole in the yard

when his dad was mowing the lawn. Yeah, that's right. Could have been. Corbin Millet. Could have ended really bad. Could have been, yeah, in hindsight. Yeah. When Tom Green came out,

I thought he was the funniest human being that would ever live. He really was. I follow him on TikTok. He lives in the middle of the woods out in the boonies somewhere and he just goes for peaceful little walks now. I thought he was a big anti-COVID guy now. Is he?

I don't know. I don't know. Are you pro-COVID, Brian? I guess anti-whatever. Anti- I don't know. He just lives out in the woods, goes for walks with some animals. Very peaceful.

What did I owe fifth place, Travis? I just got his PayPal. Oh, $200. Oh, yeah, $100. That guy was stupid. He cashed out too early. I don't think he probably, like, when it did something,

much more beneficial. Yeah. He probably saw where that competition was going. Nowhere. Yeah. It went way better than I felt that it was going to go though.

In the beginning when they first all joined the Zoom I was like what are we supposed to do? They were all like very normal. Yeah. I was so intimidated.

Yeah I felt. They had better chemistry than us. Yeah they were good. It has me thinking about buying a Toyota. Yeah. From Tavis.

I would buy a Toyota from Tavis. But Tavis is still listening because when his company gets a hold of that. Tavis Toyota sounds like a good, like a local. Come on down to Tavis Toyota.

It's Bagel Toyota. Briggle. Whatever. Or Briggle. Did he correct us? Briggle. Briggle. Briggle sounds a lot better than Briggle.

Oh. I have paid him. All right. And it did convert to Canadian dollars. It was this. I paid him $129 Canadian dollars. Nice. Good for him.

He'll be buying something cool. So that officially is the end of the Travis competition. All done. All done. I'm pretty sure he won. Yeah, it seems like he won. You can close the books on it. Eh, Travis Maldonado, he's...

I'm going to call him eventually. Yeah. It's going to be a real Travis question. He's going to call him eventually. Yeah. It's got to be a real Travis question. It's got to be a real Travis question. He did win me over when he's like, yeah, I got a tattoo of our football house. Where'd you play? He's like, oh, I didn't play. That was awesome.

He doesn't got into the party. Yeah. That means he's a good hang. Yeah. And what else we got i feel honestly i'll tell you guys i feel like life isn't the same now that the competition's over i miss it kind of pointless miss it i'm missing a lot what's all this Hey, what does this show even mean? What are we doing? What the fuck are we even doing? That actually made sense.

Yeah, that was like, we had purpose. It's supposed to be what Joe Pop felt like when he got fired. So what do we do next? That's the thing. Is there another name? I know the funniest Travis now. I don't know what else to do. Introducing. We should just do another competition. Yeah.

We can't do funniest either. We have to do another trait and another name. Or we just don't. Another trait and another name. Yeah. Fuck. What about Hottest Sean? Oh, that's a lot of hot Seans.

That would be too easy. Wow. I was thinking Harry is Jacob. Oh, Harry is. Those are good, too, because we don't even have to talk to him. Right. Yeah. Just get pictures.

Harry is Jacob? Harry is Jacob. Harry is Jacob and hot is Sean. Yeah, this could be easy. What if that's just a one-off? We don't do a full week competition. The hottest Sean is going to be so used to winning life. I love Harryiest Jacob.

Wait, what about ugliest Sean? Yeah, we had Sean. Remember we had a Sean? Oh, hot Sean they call him. A Sean. Yeah, it's hot Sean. Yeah. Where is he now?

Probably in some pussy. We still have a Sean, don't we? Yeah. We have a different Sean, but we literally had a hot Sean. And that Sean goes by Travi. Yeah. I had that conversation with Sean slash Travi on Wednesday night. I was like,

do you ever think, I was like, how long have you been working here now? He's like, a year and a half. I was like, do you ever think that maybe that TikTok, like,

that kind of sucks? Because now every, I was like, how many people call you Travi? He's like, everyone. He did one thing on his first day. He was just so excited. No one knows his real name.

Travi's for the boys. His only crime was being excited to work. All of their videos were so funny. Woke up in an apartment that was not mine. Winter interns coming back? Barstool Sports.

Travis's for the boys. Cheese. Linking with the other interns. Fasoli? Fasoli! Yeah, he wasn't. What?

He hasn't been here for eight years? He knows this. He's been here for a year and a half? That's it? Oh, my God. Gambling cave was the move. Oh, no! D1 in the books

If it wasn't that voice It wouldn't be Nearly as bad of a video Is the voice I don't know man Emberling Cave Was the move He's a good ass dude too

He is He's a great guy He's the opposite of what My first impression Oh yeah He's an all-around solid dude. And really good at what he does, too. Does he run TikTok now?

I think so. Yeah, main page TikTok. Jesus. Yeah. I got something. Oh, yeah? Okay. So the Bundesliga soccer did like a watch-along

where the two fan bases were in the same room and they couldn't say any words. If they said anything, they got like punishments on stream. I think it's something that we could turn into a thing. Yes. Watch this. Slaga had a silent watch-along. She's back.

Then Gladbach scored. Yeah, that's awesome. That's hilarious, though. How did those dudes fall like that? They just got so excited, they wanted to just do the suck it in front of them. Wait, watch that again. I want to see that again. Then Gladbox scored.

I had the wildest luck. That's so funny. There's an idea there. I don't know what it is, but where we all stay silent and then stuff happens. If you talk, like Silent Library.

Yeah. What is something that we'd all be that passionate about, though, that you have? Not the skee-ball. Skee-ball was fun. Blast. Looking back.

Yeah, that competition at the live yak Yeah With only people from It was like MB It was the capacity of the place It was 22 people And we brought 14

I had no idea of the layout I invited my dad I was like yeah If I can You know We can get you in I remember being like nervous There was overflow seating outside

Yeah So they were all there For the ski ball Yeah That's a cool bar There was overflow seating outside. So they were all there for the skee-ball. That's a cool bar. I sent you that guy, TJ. I want to see if I'm losing it. That was also kind of on us, where we were like,

if you want tickets, you have to figure out the clue, and you have to go to Brooklyn and request tickets. Do the tinfoil one. I might be just losing it and request tickets. Do the tinfoil one. I might be just losing it. It's living room in tinfoil. Oh, my God. That's awesome. It does. That's kind of cool.

Who is this? I think I'm going to call fake. He's pranking his dad. Okay, so... Dude, what the fuck, man? Yeah, fake. I think so. What the fuck?

Yeah. Damn it, Corbin! Yeah, yeah. That ain't real. Is that his thing to prank his dad? He just always is unassuming? No. I know I don't like it.

Shit. Are you guys right? So, like, this isn't, like... No, no, no. There wasn't another one. No, no, no. Every single one is... You don't want to treat him like a child. It was definitely fake. Fuck. My dad like a kid. What you guys right? So, like, this isn't, like, that's... No, no, no. It was definitely fake. Fuck.

My dad like a kid. What are you doing? What about your vegetables? Sit your ass down and eat your fucking vegetables. Treating my dad like a kid. Are you okay? Fine. I was wrong.

Oh, yeah. That was, like, last 210. That was like Lance 210. Yes. Oh, what's he up to? The same exact shit. Is he still doing that shit? Oh, yeah. Him and Brent Rivera are worldwide superstars.

They're like billionaires. Doing the exact same thing they always do. I want to see that. I like to prank someone. Lance 210 always dies. Was that a real one or a fake one? He's dead. Lance 210 did these fake pranks.

They're all fake. Started out with his grandmother. Pranked his grandma and then his girlfriend. Yeah, and then he randomly started doing ones with his girlfriend where he was pretending to kill himself. Yeah. And he was super great. It's all this shit.

What the fuck? Hey, it was something traumatic. One million likes. No way. He's the worst. He's the worst. I hated him. He's doing the exact same shit and he's killing. Ben Rivera is still doing like the when you run into your girlfriend at Target.

Yeah. And then they start like dancing. Yeah. Oh, shit. We're fucking up. We're not doing it right. I know. You should be doing that.

But then we're just like, that wasn't funny. Yeah, I guess it was. And we don't know what funny is. Yeah. That's a million numbers to prove it. Yeah. And people thought otherwise. That's funny.

We should make a TikTok for Tommy pranking Brandon. Yeah. Don't. Don't. a TikTok for Tommy pranking Brandon. Yeah. Don't. That would rule. He pranked you this morning. Tommy? Yeah, you had a whoopee cushion in your shoe. Oh, my God.

That's awesome. That's a good prank. But that wasn't him. Oh, okay. The seven-year-old is also in nefarious love. Oh, no. Jesus Christ. So I don't wear these shoes in the city.

I always just put them in my bag, and I put them on when I'm here, like Mr. Rogers. And I put them on, and there's a little fart. I had a whoopee cushion in my shoe. When you were in the office? Yeah. I wish you hadn't told me that. Why? I want to scuff them so bad now.

All I want to do is scuff them. Would you from five years ago hate you now? No, I think me from five years ago would be very happy for me now. Yeah? Be excited. You don't wear, you have shoes that you just wear in the office? The streets of New York are filthy. I mean, they're disgusting.

Crisp as fuck, too. Yeah. Wait, put the camera back on. I wear my maroon. This is my maroon Air Force. I take a black marker to them. No, you look good yeah i'm going to a concert tonight damn it i'm going to a hardy concert i might be going to a hardy concert i i'm trying to i might get out of it he's not going on till 9 30 oh no that's too late

brandon that's crazy right that's way too late. You can't do that. There's a 930 in the city? Look at Vasoli. Look at the way he's walking around. Yeah, a year and a half? A year and a half. That is insane. That's a coffee stat.

He did tweet out the other day the picture of the 03 Barstool Sports for us now. He said, I want a Viva so loud right now. Yeah. It wasn't a joke. Yeah. He had the newspaper stand versus the sportsbook casino. A Viva so loud right now. It wasn't a joke. We had the newspaper stand versus the sportsbook casino. Viva's so loud right now. That whole crew, they have

lingo that makes you sick. Have you heard? They call when they're here past five, they call it Viva Hours. They're here after hours. When the real grinders are. So I've been working Viva Hours. What? Because they're here like after hours. When the real grinders are. Yeah.

So I've been working Viva Hours? Yeah, you're Viva Hours. I hate to say it. It was probably more like when they were here at like midnight than five.

Viva Hours. Should we spin the wheel? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Nick, is your crazy white ass doing stand-up comedy tonight? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, how you crazy white ass doing stand-up comedy tonight? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, how you feeling? You scared? There's nothing I can do now, so we'll see. Oh, that'd be great. Are there still tickets? No. What was the adjective you used to describe your set? Racist.

Are you nervous? Yeah. I just got a little nervous for you. Aren't you going on two? Yeah. Where are you at in the lineup? Yeah. I just got a little nervous for you. Aren't you going on two? Yeah. Where are you at in the lineup? Second after MOOC, so it just gets progressively, it gets less red as the night goes on.

I remember the first time I did a real show, I couldn't eat for two days before. Wasn't it at that same venue? Yeah. Yeah, I was there. How many panels did it sit? 50. Oh, okay.

It's a nice club. Or it's a little room. And it's five minutes about? I think so, yeah. We'll see what happens. Here's the beginning. Anybody here ever been to New York City? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a little crowd work. Yeah. You should just pick one person and just pick on them so bad. Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have to write jokes still. No, you don't. You've got a fucking million jokes.

Not a million. Not yet. I'm excited. Yeah. Why? Because it's going to be awesome. It's going to be fun. Yeah, I think it's a blast. I'm going to get so fucking drunk be awesome it's gonna be fun yeah I think

it's a blast I'm gonna get so fucking are you headlining Sass I'll probably close the show oh yes my man Julio's on the quick 20 too

oh yeah are you or Julio headlining it's not it's a showcase it's not no one's headlining who is headlining

Francis is headlining in Long Beach tomorrow. I'm opening for him. Hell yeah. I'm pumped. I like opening for people. It's fun because you just do 20 minutes of your best stuff. Then you just chill and get fucked up.

Yeah, Long Beach is fun. What if you're funnier than Francis? I won't be. Francis is really good at stand-up. I always wondered if that opener... It happens. If the headliner's like, hey, maybe don't do that joke?

No, people do that. Really? Well, so if the feature act has a joke that's similar to the headliner, the headliner will be like, don't do that. A lot of times, if the headliner's like a crowd work dude

they'll be like don't do any crowd work because I want to don't steal any of it from me but it's yeah do people get mad or no? it's just part of the deal? no that's just part of the deal yeah no one's ever said that to me

but it's like a pretty common thing I'd imagine there's just a like comedy club with like established comedians who's just egos huge egos just busting up against each other yeah it's like a very competitive yeah world yeah yeah so do you want the other comics to bomb right now i mean like there's like people say like like uh people will be like oh it's hard to follow that dude if the person's like really good if shane went up and you had to go after him

and you'd be like oh it's really hard like there's a hard one to follow because they just fucking killed but it's also you get used to it and it's pretty easy to like it's like you just have to acknowledge it so the person before you gets up there, bombs completely. What's your mindset? I'd rather the person before me do super well. Right, because the crowd's having fun. Like having someone go up and bomb their ass off and then you have to go after them. Have you ever followed someone who bombed and then killed it?

Yeah. Have you ever bombed and had someone follow you and kill it? Yeah. Have you ever had someone bomb and then follow you and bomb? I've had someone kill and then I went up and bombed and had someone follow you and kill it? Yeah. Have you ever had someone bomb you and bomb you? I've had someone kill, and then I went up and bombed. So bad. Like, for, like, three minutes straight, no laughs. And then I, like, recovered from it. It's, like, that's why, like, following really, like,

established comedians is really hard to do. Yeah. It's also, they have, like, there's this one dude. It was, like, I'm pulling out tonight. No, no. That's not going to happen, Yeah. It's also they have like, like there's this one dude, it was like, I'm pulling out tonight. No, no. That's not going to happen. Dude, it's not going to happen tonight.

But yeah, I mean, it can happen anytime. Anytime. It's not going to happen. I don't know. I forgot what I was talking about. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.

It can happen to anyone at any time any time even the best comedians have been doing it their whole life I mean it can it can

but it's not gonna happen tonight because those people are there to see you no it absolutely won't they know it's your first show everyone's gonna dude did you remember when I posted my first set

and it was fucking terrible and the crowd was the homeless people wow they were going crazy so they know it's your first time doing a real show no one's gonna be like if people are there to see you terrible and the crowd was almost people. They were going crazy. So they know it's your first time doing a real show. No one's going to be like if people are there to see you they're going to laugh.

Do you think have you ever seen an established like really good comedian bomb. I mean I've seen. Yeah I've seen. I know exactly what you're doing. I've seen people who are really good not asking. It's usually like if they're like trying new stuff like working out new jokes or like jokes no one's ever.

But they don't bomb like they don't Or like jokes no one's ever heard. They don't bomb like... What if no one's ever heard the joke? So you don't know if it's funny. It's funny in your head, but then you have to say it out loud. Yeah, but they don't bomb like how you're picturing. They bomb in the sense that they're getting like a... They're not murdering. They're not bombing like

silence. Right. But that happens for the people who try the first time and no one's ever heard their jokes. No. That could be silence. Right. But that happens for the people who try the first time and no one's ever heard their jokes. No. That could be silence. No. No. You got this, Nick. You're fucking hilarious, dude.

Thanks, bro. You're gonna be the funniest person there by far. What are you talking about? You have better jokes than anyone there. How do I know? I don't know. I just know. Alright, yeah, we'll see how it goes. You're gonna kill it. But, if I bomb,

you guys won't see me for like two weeks. It's fine. Also, I don't think you should get super fucked up before. Agree to disagree. If you like it, if you like stand-up, then you're gonna get in the habit of being like oh i gotta get fucked up now to do stand up and that's like a monday night yeah that's what i that's what i did and then and then i have to stop this is not going to be a regular

thing for me it will be yeah i think it will be too yeah i don't think so you're gonna murder feeling i don't think so we'll let us know how it goes. Won't. Yeah, you will. Because we're going to be there. I'll text you. I'll record the whole thing. Thank you. Could you please record it?

Throw it up on your YouTube. Yeah. I'm going to sell it. We spin the wheel. I've got to get home and... Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's right. I think we should hang out after this.

Give you time to let the mind wander. Yeah. No. No. Going. Well. All right, all right. Skin, I must ask, why do we do this?

This is, this is. It sucks. I love this. Let's do it. Let's do it. It sucks so much. Fucking cold and like rainy out, too. I'm so cold. I'm so cold. Let's do it. That sucks so much. Fucking cold and like rainy out, too. I'm so cold.

I'm so cold. It's cold in here. Wait, let's get Fasoli in here and not tell him. Can we just rig it to where Fasoli? No, let's just get him in here and just add another name. Let's just do this. We're doing classic, so it's one person wet, right? One person.

I'm really excited for tonight now. I'm pumped. Eliminator down to one person. That sounds awesome. What if you have to get wet? I mean, the show's not until 10. I think I'll probably... You'll be able to drive by then? I'd hope so. I'm showing up wet.

Yeah. We're bringing the wheel on stage. Start spinning it, TJ. It's not going to be me, so I'm not worried. Are you guys worried? It going to be me, so I'm not worried. Are you guys worried? It won't be me, so no. Do we have to wait for him?

I just texted him. No, just start spinning it. He'll do it no matter what. Yeah. Okay. He'll probably do it for any of us. Yeah, a wet Fasoli would be great. Oh, here he comes.

That was a fast. Did I ever tell you guys we were walking with Fasoli? It was like a Rediscovering America trip, And he, like, out of nowhere was just like, I would jump in front of a bullet for Dan or Dave. I was like, why? He said, well, they'd take care of my families forever. I was like, you don't have... Yeah, he did say that. I remember that. I'd take care of his mom.

I guess. I actually probably would. I know. If he actually jumped in front of a bullet and saved my life, I would definitely take care of his family. So he's right. It's not like he has kids. Right. Sully, I would take care of your

family if you jumped in front of a bullet. We got wet wheels, so we just said that. You're always down the clown. It won't be you. Let's get the Fasoli emoji. Let's get the Fasoli emoji going. That was like the clown. It won't be you. Let's get the Fasoli emoji. Let's get the Fasoli emoji going. That was like the hardest.

Let's warm up those hyphens. Let's warm up those hyphen keys. Get it going. How you doing, Fasoli? Good. How are you? Great. How was vacation?

It was great. Oh, is this for real? No, you're good. You're good. You're good. God, I'm so cold. You're the first one out. She would actually die.

I think I would genuinely die. Phew. The wheel knows. Let's go. Oh, sass. Good job, buddy. I'm going to get you in the gambling cave. A man, sass.

Good selly. Oh, Brandon. Let's go. Safe. It's just going to be me and Big Cat in the finals. Yeah, probably. No, I think I'm out in the next two. You're out right here, brother.

There you go, Nick. It's a good sign. Not nervous yet. I'm sweating anyway, so. Atta boy. Oh, no. Wait. I know.

That's TJ. Kind of. What? I know. Kind of. What? KB. KB.

KB. God damn it. KB. God damn it. Drive Steve. I think it's going to be me. I'll do that again. I can't. If it's you, I'll get wet. No, you don't have to.

I appreciate that. I know you'll take care of my family. That was smart by facility. He's going to get off in a second. Jeez, KB. And me and KB were the only two that were likeoli. He's going to get off in a second. Jeez, KB. And me and KB were the only two that were like, we're not going to get wet. I know. God damn it.

Come on. Fuck! This rocks. This rocks. Oh, my God. Oh my god I don't even want to see my boys getting wet though I know I don't find any joy in it First one to four loses or no?

Win Yeah first one to four wins I like how we do this every day and we still have hearts So is that Does that mean that you're getting it or you're not? Like how we do this every day and we still have So is that does that mean This baby we both agreed we weren't gonna get wet I would a liar Let me shit it right now. 2-1 KB. Whoa, where's Che going?

All right, I'm good. I'm not getting it. You don't think so? All right. Yeah, I'm lacing them harder, lacing them tighter, baby. Those new kicks, Kyle. No, these are my pickleballs. 2-2.

Hey, did you start playing pickleball when we got back? Yeah. There's a court near me. Okay. Did you play with Mike? No, not yet. 3-2. You worried yet, Kyle?

I am pretty confident. It's 3-2. We still got to reach out to Sudsy, too, now that we're back. Oh, yeah. Stop, stop, stop. Yes! Yes! Fuck!

God damn it! All right. I'm hyped. Right in the middle, too. It's an even spin. Oh, too. It's an even spin. Oh, Kyle. What? Kyle.

Oh, oh. That died fast. Kyle definitely gets the most wet. He gets the most wet. It's always him. It's always him. Wearing his pickleballs in there? He's wearing his pickleballs in there? He's wearing the pickleballs in.

I know he took them off. Oh, come on. Have the door open. Please, God. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Wait, is it locked?

Oh, no. Oh, no, he might be taking off his shoes. I'm like the greatest final. You're like Michael Jordan. Yeah, I just go to the finals. I win every time. Man. Real Nickelodeon-esque transition.

I like that. I do like when the wet hits because it feels like we're repaying the wheel. Yeah. Not be angry with us. Hang on, man. Should we reset after wet? I always forget that rule. I don't think so.

Fasoli, talk to me about Viva hours. Viva hours are after 5 p.m. So I do do Viva hours. You do? Especially on weekends. Yeah. Big time. Whoa.

A lot of Viva hours racked up. Wow. Who do you think has the most Viva hours? Mac Mac. Clanks? You have a lot of weekends. And it's mostly football season, yeah. Who do you think has the most Viva hours? Jack Mack. Quigs. You have a lot of weekends. And it's mostly football season, yeah. Quigs has a lot of Viva hours.

Dave. Who? Dave. Dave Portnoy. Dave Portnoy. A lot of Viva hours. Yeah, he's racked up a shitload of Viva hours. What about Jack Mack? Yeah, Jack Mack's got a...

Yeah, Jack Mack's a ton. Is it all weekend or just after five? Oh. I'd say after five, because if you're here on the weekends after five, you're not just pre-gaming here to go to a bar. Does that happen? That happens.

Wait, what? I don't know. Oh, no. You rat. Oh, that what? I don't know. Oh, no. You rat. Oh, that happens. I don't know. Why would you want a pregame here to go to a bar? I love that you just accidentally.

Yeah, I mean, it's whatever. I guess if it's pregame, it's better than a postgame is probably where the issue is. It's like a pregame. It's like a meetup. Like, everyone meets here. That's a good central spot in New York City. Yeah, I get that. Because we're all coming from different spots. Yeah. It's like a pregame. It's like a meetup. Like everyone meets here. That's a good central spot in New York City. Yeah, I get that. Going to the bar.

Because we're all coming from different spots. Yeah. There's plenty of nooners around. It's a good place to be. And it's better than just meeting at a bar. Here he comes

with his little run. Oh. Yeah. You're wet as fuck. You're so wet, dude. It's over. It's over. It's over.

All right. Okay. See everyone on Monday. Have a good weekend. Have a good weekend. Have a good weekend. Aw. Outro Music