The Yak - Will Compton is About to Be a Father of Two | The Yak 11-7-24

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Brandon and Cheah are best friends once againYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Yeah. You know, we're going to pull that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Ro back dot com. Promo code. Yeah. 20 percent off your first purchase.

Q zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Ro back dot com. Promo code. Yak. We got a full house today. We've got Willie C. Here. And then we also have a very special guest Brian from last night you guys did a roast battle That's right. He founded roast battles a big big thing. Yeah travels around the country now the world man the world

I apologies you've been to Singapore Not trying to get a not trying to get caned But no you were on the pant you were judging with me last night You had like you said some very mean things about everybody right off right off the dome I said the n-word the f-word I did too On patreon you could hear it. Yeah, but yeah following Brian Moses type shit and Roast battle. We might have you Roast someone here not in this

room but maybe somebody was a bad boy someone was a bad boy yesterday should he go down the road should he go down the law I think he needs to just unload the clip on the bad boy in the booth our producer Stephen Che and Brandon had a beef show yourself Stephen, Stephen Che. Stephen Che screamed at Brandon yesterday. Screamed at him. What happened? Like real?

Brandon fucked up the ad. Play the clip. Play the clip. It's Stephen Che's job to type up the ad, not type up the ads, copy and paste the ads from an email and put them on this prep sheet for us to read during ad breaks. And Brandon read during ad breaks.

And Brandon read the ad yesterday. Off the sheet. Off the sheet. And the sheet was fucked up, and then Steven blamed Brandon for fucking it up when Steven was the one who put the... Well, he got mad at me for pointing out that it was fucked up, which is fair. And by the way, it was the most mad I've ever seen Steven, and also the most serious I've ever seen Steven, because he texted me later that

Night and was like hey, I apologize to Brandon I wrote a blog about it, and I was like what dude. I don't give a fuck like I thought that was funny Yeah, what are we talking about? Why are you saying sorry? Che did you vent on quick pics afterwards to Brandon's not a quick pics which I think was fair, but we talked about- You guys went into timeouts. Yeah, I did.

I went into timeout. Yeah, no, I don't think I realized the severity until I- No. Well, okay. Let's hear him out, let's hear him out. Yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have. I don't think I realized the state, because everybody gives each other shit, I don't think it's that big of a deal,

but yeah, I did take it way too far, and I didn't realize in the moment But then when I went outside to talk to me was like no I was like Oh shit like maybe I did fuck up and then went seeing it back. I was like oh, yeah I took that too far show will it's gonna show yesterday and then I texted him an apology and then I blogged like kind of what was going through my head and Also, you know admitting I was wrong which I was I definitely overstepped and yeah I just wanted to make sure everyone's good and then Brandon texted me back he's like yeah we're good he's

like let's talk tomorrow he's like we're Jersey so we're Jersey and took a photo and we talked to Africa minutes and we're fine we move fast it I love people experiencing Steve for the first wait oh you just copied and pasted the same ad twice all right great uh for all first time pick six players check this out new customers play five dollars get fifty dollars and pick six credits I change I bad what are you Jesus Christ you'd be a pro fucking one Every time you fucking find an arrow you make a big deal out of it just read the fucking ad dude

It's broken okay, okay be a pro just eat it once Jesus every time you see a fucking Hand up I made a mistake I didn't on like you can obviously I didn't obviously see it though I didn't obviously see oh yeah you called double it's a double yeah I pasted twice I'm sorry it's okay do you don't get mad now you made the mistake I don't make the mistakes better the better help you out you're fumbling over to Could you? You yell you yell me for this all the time you That was bad

That was the best That Steven was like texted me and I I just laughed out loud when I saw the text being like I apologized to Brandon I wrote a blog about it. Wait TJ. Are you love Steve's blog? Yeah, what did you blog? I don't know why this meant for a diary And he tried to talk to you afterwards and you shut it down. Yeah Made it had to walk away. It was during the show. Yeah Brandon the patients that you showed my man. Yeah, they're not like Steve up. I'm surprised he saw his job Well, I can't lie people up anymore Steven unfortunately is like a Supreme Court justice job for life There's literally nothing

Serial killer you're in the comedy scene you may know Steve from a viral clip of him trying to fight Shane Gillis wrestle That's crazy looks like a school shooter who's like two weeks to lift a gun Steve from a viral clip of him trying to fight Shane Gillis? Wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle. That's crazy, because he looks like a school shooter who's like two weeks to lift a gun. That's crazy trying to fight anybody, Steve. Oh. Wait. What?

Jay, you're getting ungodly guff for this. Give me one example of how you're in the right. I mean, I wasn't in the right at all during this. Hold on. It's a. No, give me some. It's over. I like this. No, no, I like this. How are you in the right? I like, I wasn't in the right ad all during this. Hold on. I will say. No, give me some. It's over. I like this.

No, no, I like this. How are you in the right? I like this. It's over. Because I still think you got some leverage. The only thing that I explained is, before I did this, my job was overseeing all these ads. So I get when an ad is being read

and someone does something that's out of turn or derails the ad, then the advertiser's gonna ask for a free ad and not count that one. So just wanna make sure it is counted, at which point, yeah, I flew off the handlebars a bit, especially because, you know, a thing that I deemed minor,

you would call out and stop the ad and then we would get derailed, all that stuff. So that kind of, you know, I've left that, but I guess it fully hasn't left me and yeah well so Brandon did like I necessarily derail the ad mm-hmm so you finished it yeah and what it was going to it okay it's going smoothly until you called attention to it's just it's the funniest like I've never seen Steven like this we shook hands this this morning. We're good. The fallout was incredible. Yeah.

Took us two minutes. We sat down two minutes, shook hands, we move on. I was in the car with you, your car, when he texted you an apology. And what did you say? I said, I'll talk to him tomorrow. Said, I'm going to be a cunt about this. Yes, I'm going to be a cunt about it today.

I'll talk to him tomorrow. Yeah. Culturally, I just can't believe none of you guys like beat each other up It's a very white guy thing to do just like blog something and they'll be like all right fine Steve. We'll go to HR about I need to see the blog But it also is like if you watch any I love Like if you watched us on the gambling stream or even this show, you're like, do these guys all hate each other?

Yeah. Like, we all love each other. So it's, but you're right, there is, they should just fight. You'd think we would, like, I'm gonna fuck you up. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Or, none of us do that.

Yeah, I mean, the way I talk about Che, you're like, he hates him, but I don't. I mean, I do. But I love him. You guys should have like a squabb it out room. Like a fight room. That would be cool. That would be awesome. A fight room? Yeah. Who would be the first to use it? Memes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, memes and Macs. Just two Italians going in there. Duke and Hal. They just make some olive oil, they beat each other up. Go in, scoop it up

Sounds delicious. Yeah, all right. What's this blog? So I mean after the show most days whether it be directly after my car later than I do blog the show so we get More views so there's like a link at the bottom of it. Yeah, but you read this yourself. I want it This is ridiculous ridiculous, this is ridiculous. All right. Well, I'm sure this did okay as far as pages wise and that's what the job is. Okay. No, it's an, in the act, I blew up a yelled at brain and walk over something that hurts me. And at the end of the day was originally my fault. I make the prep sheets for the act always have any show. We've gotten a handful of ads. I copy and paste my lovely dashboard where I get, where they get fed into their condensed into talking points that

are called action. I used to do that for bar so originally I was senior director of ad operations and there are people that look over the ad copy I've since moved to content where the prep sheets and the ads are still so boring yeah I'm already I'm already asleep read some of that is still part of my role at the yak sometimes when when reading an ad, if Brandon gets caught up on language, or if, there's a typo right there. Oh! He will call me out during the read.

This has always annoyed me, and not only does it make me look bad, but sometimes the ad will be botched, so the advertiser will request a make-up, which is a free ad. Today I reached a boiling point, I realize as I type this that if I don't make some type of error, this never happens.

That's a fair shot certainly whatever I'd say Or what I'd say is what is that we do probably a thousand ads a year in the Akins impossible to never make a mistake You mess up two percent of time. It's frustrating to be called out by one guy Nobody else has ever called me out consistently not justification for actions. Just letting you know my thought process So there's a lot. There's a lot of baggage in the basement So there's a lot of baggage in the basement that came out when he was like, Oh my God! Oh my God! Dude!

You gotta break that up with bouncing asses. Wait, you wrote- Yeah, you need a twerk GIF. Hold on. I view Brandon as a good friend. I've met his entire family. I've gone to his house in New Jersey to feed his pets. You put that in there?

We've discussed that. Ryan, from someone as an outsider, is this the lamest thing you've ever seen? I gotta be honest, if there are black people watching this, take your children to therapy because that's the result right there. Instead of joining a gang, he had to write his feelings. He didn't even proofread it. He knew he was mad because he didn't even proofread it. You see that? But in hindsight, Brandon is my, and I will be better about Jay where the comments pretty nice. I mean the comments are never nice so

What did you say about should or Sanders did I see that in the blog is yours you mentioned should or yeah? He gets crushed for calling out So that's I was just saying that's how I felt that that yeah, you're sure to word that I'm the offensive line brain Oh, yeah, he had to dumb it down in football terms. Yeah, this is very complex issue like the Middle East and then Adgate wouldn't it be kind of like I feel like the analogy sort of your shoulder Sanders and you're throwing five interceptions a game and then yelling at the left left tackle for not Running down the guy who picked off the interception

That feels like the more apt no I mean, I mean you obviously play high-level basketball you played a ton of basketball you're never gonna make a hundred percent of your free throws like would you be excited if your Coach or best player in the team is calling you out for missing, you know, going nine for 10? This is so goddamn bad. Can I just say? He's got a point.

He's got a point. He's so fucking gay. We're all missing. No, I mean, it's done. It's over. We're moving past it. We're just doing cleanup now. Yeah, we're just mopping it all up.

We're just putting a bow on everything so we can all move on. We do all wanna move on, but. Apparently, it's a subplastic. Yeah. Speaking of mopping it up. We're mopping it all up. We're just putting a bow on everything so we can all move on. And we do all want to move on, but. Apparently, it's a sub-last. Yeah. Speaking of mopping it up, can we talk about the silver lining here? What?

This whole emotional thing. Big new sponsor on the Yak, shout out Tampax. Tampax Feminine Products, the personal sponsor of Stephen Che, extra absorbent. Oh, no, Stephen. Oh, man. You guys are brave for talking to Steve like that Listen you like this place. Oh, yeah doesn't he doesn't take damage. That's why yesterday like Normally from an outsider like that what who cares about that? We've never seen Stephen blow up like that. Ever. Oh, I mean, so one thing that Brandon, man, maybe Fairley thinks that I go after him,

but I was like, dude, I yelled at Big Cat like three weeks ago, like during the Falcon's Box Strip. Oh yeah, you did. Yeah, you snapped. I mean, it's not like I'm- He's got something brewing. It was the, it was the be a pro that was the funniest part. I think if you just would have been like, come on, man, get off my ass.

I don't think it's that funny. It's when you're yelling, be a fucking pro when you made the Is there something that we can point to Steven that's like causing this Angst right now have you gotten no I knew COVID vaccine boy It sounds like Brandon's the only one who might like check him on some of this stuff So he's pent it all up and that last moment was the final that certainly was The thing yesterday and I've talked about that gets under my skin, but that's not a huge deal Rock rockas Lee rockas Lee raising

It might be is it the vasectomy busts are they not hitting che? No. I mean they feel great. Oh Imagine like ejaculating and it feels just like that. I doubt it That's how you be nothing here on the yeah, yeah That's that's a daily thing All che got a vasectomy and we had to bet who, what day would be his 50th bust post vasectomy. What number were we at? We're at 49 so it's gonna be this weekend for sure. So what's the, who's closest? I don't think anybody was in number. I think Danny Conrad was. Maybe. And what is it because you need 50 busts until there's no more

sperm in your bust? Yeah I mean I've been cleared of it so we're... Oh so now you're just doing it for fun. You're just running We're just tracking your bus for no reason well We said he gets with we get to 50 and once we do that I will stop this this is not your natural pace Before was not my natural pace down. Yes, it kind of skews the experiment. Yeah 50 bus and yeah We probably need the next months is yeah, we do that's exhausting. That's a lot of bus it it became A chore and not enjoy that 50 in the last two years now You packed up dudes being bros busting with my boys. Yeah, that's right. What's he's disgusting. That's Will's podcast I'll get on the bus and

Can't get off till you jerk off. Wow! Danny's gonna be the winner. Wait, Chay, is this the source of it? Because I didn't believe in you? Oh, February 9th. Oh no, I actually haven't seen this graphic and like known who was...

Yeah, you didn't. I believed in you, Chay. Look at that. I thought you were gonna go Less than 30 days It's a young man's game. I just I believed in my boy. I would technically win this right no It's price is right rules, so if you go over you're out, okay, okay, so the first three are eliminated October 4th Listen I thought my guy was gonna put up Choggy pay nobody Pete rose this right and just like he's like betting on himself Oh, I did I was when we first started because I picked October 4th. I was sending him porn links

Randomly just got off to this one check it out. Yeah, just say, hey, Titty. Is that an HR violation? Probably. I mean, is the whole thing is an HR violation. Oh my god, yeah. You're tracking his ejaculates. No Viagra or like Cialis or like performing enhancing drugs you're using?

No. OK. No. Have you ever? Lubrication, I guess. What did you say? Lubrication sometimes. OK. OK. What'd you say? Lubrication sometimes. Oh, okay.

Okay. What kind are you? KY Ultra Gel, baby. You sponsor. You use KY Ultra Gel? For yourself? KY Ultra Gel? It's quite literally what it's called. Oh, gee. Damn. If they went hop in the DMs, 50th GIF, up for sale.

What? What? Selling it? What does up for sale mean? They could sponsor it, do a little promo code. Dude, I'm so sorry for inviting you. They're going to sponsor the GIF of your 50th. No, I'm just saying, if they would like to hop in the DMs, I'm sure we could work some Jay is just messing up sheets left and right at home. Yeah. Yeah

You're a maniac. Alright. Let's move. That's enough Che, let's focus on what's on the sheet. So do you guys garden on the low? Do we what? Hahaha. Or just like Do you own any green sweatshirts?

Hahaha. No, the first one is the most ridiculous. What is this. Read that. If you had unlimited funds for an in-house aquarium, tear the fish you'd want to have in there. Have you ever had a fish as a pet and if so how long did it live? I think the aquarium tearing could get interesting. I don't, I wouldn't want a huge aquarium. I'm sorry, day after we got into it but I'm kind of with him. think the aquarium tearing would be a shark. Everyone would want a shark. If price is no object sure. That's what that's what it says. Okay. Shark, piranha, whale. They live together. You ever seen an eel?

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Mmm. No, what is that? Uh, you should know exactly who that is. I should know? Yeah, I'm just- I'm KB'ing KB. Oh, bringing up an old- I found it. He played for the Chicago Orphans. He was an Orphansans player Rube Waddell. Yeah, does he have a backstory? Yeah, I think he was the first man with autism

That almost certainly. Oh, right go to his Wikipedia. I stumbled upon it last night. He was the first autist He's well, he did chase a fire truck. I was not literally would face child fire trucks during games Isaac Newsy a dog Oh Truck out not literally face child fire trucks during games Isaac knew is he a dog Oh? Ichabod crane Wait wait wait wait the bug crane wasn't autistic it was you said he would chase fire trucks during games. Yeah Oh, how did I miss him? Rube Waddell go down to uh I'm sorry Kate you said would hmm look at those cheekbones decidedly different sort of child Look at those cheekbones. He's decidedly different sort of child

Okay, so at age of three wandered over a local fire station stayed there for several days He did not attend school very often He was left-handed and strength his arm as a child by throwing rocks at birds he encountered while working on his family's land No, that's real worked on mining and drilling sites as a youngster which helped his conditioning Yeah, all right here. Here's here. Waddell's career wound through a number of teams. He was notably unpredictable. Early in his career, he once left in the middle of a game to go fishing. He also had a long-standing fascination with fire trucks

and ran off the field to chase after them. During games on multiple occasions, he would disappear for months at a time during the offseason. It was not known where he went until it was discovered that he was wrestling alligators in a Soviet. No way. He was easily distracted where he went until it was discovered that he was wrestling alligators in a Soviet. No way. He was easily distracted by opposing fans who held up puppies, which caused him to run over

to play with them, and shiny objects which seemed to put him in a trance. An alcoholic for much of his short life, he reportedly spent his entire first signing bonus on a drinking bidge as a pun of the baseball term Southpaw, denoting a left-handed pitcher. The Sporting News dubbed him a South Southpaw Southpaw yeah

His eccentric behavior led to constant battles with his managers scuffles with bad tempered teammates. He would just run after fire trucks How did I miss how did you find up? I just found him pretty good There was I was reading one season he started on one team and ended up as a bartender in Wheeling. No way Yeah, I read there's a Wheeling had a team. I guess there's this guy like Jim McElhaney or something who? Accidentally fell down Niagara Falls Death he like tried to there was a flood where he was living he tried to save everyone and got Pneumonia and then there was another flood, and he got double pneumonia.

Double pneumonia. Yeah. It's so funny. Like, everyone was an alcoholic. Everyone died mid-game or mid-season. Yeah, look. What else? It helped save the city of Hickman, Kentucky from a devastating flood in the spring of 1912, catching pneumonia. He lost much of his vitality that had sustained him. And a second flood in Hickman

and another ensuing case of pneumonia in 1913 took the rest He got double flooded god damn This guy rules though. He does I know it chasing fire trucks Yeah, he was like the original power pitcher did you know about yeah All about him. This feels like the legend. We knew all about him. This feels like the Lenny of Mice and Men that Steinmetz probably wrote about. Yeah, but he just had a mean cutter.

That's all it was. Everyone played every position. Everyone was like a champion in another sport. He started to play football, and on the first practice, he broke the leg of the quarterback and they made him stop He thighs momentum. Yeah, look He lost track of how many women he married He might be the greatest guy I had a chance made fun of a teammate straw hat

Wait find the football section of a teammate straw hat. That's too far. We find the football section. The he tried out for a team and he broke. Yeah. He broke the right. He crumpled the quarterback on the first play and they're like dude you know I was reading like the Chicago staley's. Yeah. There was a guy named Gaylord Stinchcomb who played every position. He was one 20. Here it is. However he never played for football football athletics Mac later said there was a little fellow from Wanamakers who asked for the job of quarterback I don't think we he weighed more than 140 pounds well the first practice what else tackled him and broke his leg It was the first inkling John and I had the players could be badly hurt in football Fuck you're hurting is it ruba slur though like like like what a rube is that nice

George so that's where it came from yeah, what a rubie Fucking room they had to get there like they could do all this though like because they weren't letting Dominicans play Yeah, so now they had to straighten up their act immediately Yeah, no more fun for every yeah, they have to get good at baseball to these guys just show up drunk They would I got I pitched 27 innings It was the coach of the national championship football team that also the Reds Yeah, this was like the the Rose Bowl. It and Jefferson versus Cal and yeah, I'm tied zero zero But like the Washington and Jefferson team could only afford to send 11 play 10 players on the train to California

And one got pneumonia, and they just kicked him out One guy was secretly stowed away In the manager like that. He didn't even play like he had to like mortgage his house or something to afford to go just to be a to play for the first time ever. I'm obsessed with early 1900s. Yeah, I mean, it's so funny. It's like Babe Ruth. He got traded for a musical.

Remember the fund it. Yeah. Yeah yeah to fund it. It's really Was the musical good I don't even know what that means Like he got he the guy the guy who owned the Red Sox needed money to fund his other passion Which was Broadway or musicals and to do it he sold Ruth to the Yankees and used that money to fund the play that he yeah Was the best baseball player at his time fund the play that he was yeah, one of the best baseball players was the play good It's not I don't think I know what play was it's not a name. He would make he still know the other one It's not a name. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. What was it? I don't remember, but it's not a it was cats. Yeah, Reese rent

That's how avatar got made You have RuPaul doll you got to get on his shit out. It's crazy. I know I was like when I saw it I was like this guy we were trying to think like none of us would have interesting Wikipedia's Like everybody back then have section over section. No, no, they turn 19 Yeah, the worst section of that guy's Wikipedia or the worst sentence I should say is more interesting than anything that yeah Boring sins of his life when they would just like travel around and be like, oh yeah, I'm going to play for this team now.

Oh, you're going to pay me 500 bucks. That's how college football players, when they tell their stories, are like back from the 20s and 30s. Yeah, I just was, I was working at the steel mill and the college football coach came and said, you handle that steel, come play for me. Right. That's how all their stories are. He's the best powerheader in the world.

They would play baseball like we play like bar trivia. Yeah, I guess I'll give this a go. So yeah, I'll go be a Yankee. Just hit for four grand slams and one inning. Yeah, they just would fight like they'd be like, Oh, that guy looks strong. Yeah, I'm the best football player in America. If plumbing doesn't work out, I'll go be a white sock. Yeah. I'll win a Heisman.

The first Heisman winner, you've played for the University of Chicago. He was in the one platoon system. So he played quarterback, running back, receiver, kicker, and linebacker. That's the best. What would be a good hypothetical player for play swap? Like original cast of Hamilton, I assume,

would be top of the market. What do you think that would fetch in a player? Well, what player would Hamilton be? So that was like 20. That was like the biggest ticket. Is that like prime KD? How much money did Hamilton gross? That's the question.

I don't know any mid-range plays. I only know the top dogs. Yeah. Harrison Booker. Harrison Booker for Hamilton. So good. What did it gross? Whoa.

$807, so he's Shohei. Wow. Hamilton is Shohei. He's Shohei. Wow, Hamilton is Shohei, or Juan Soto. Damn, that's a lot of money. Imagine how pissed fans would be, just like they're trading fucking Hamilton. Fuck, man. Hamilton.

Could we trade a bar stool employee for the rights to like a song? Ooh. Hmm, like how much are we getting for Nikki smokes We're not even getting like a TV jingle no No, we're getting the copyright free. Yeah, shit Are the rights to a product do you think they wouldn't do you think bone thugs would consider mincy for first of the month? So one for one trade that's not bad. Yeah

Man hey by the way congrats will you guys shout out? That's how crazy was that yeah nuts I mean the amount of messages I had yesterday you would have thought I did like two tours in Iraq People like thanking me for their service Thanking you for their service for Thanking you for their service. For having a podcast. He did it. He had Donald Trump on his show, and then they shouted him out. In the presidential victory speech,

Bustin' with the Boys was thanked and shouted out. Dana White. I want to thank some people real quick. I want to thank the NELF boys, Aidan Ross, Theo Vaughn, Bustin'le with the boys and last but not least the mighty and powerful Joe Rogan Did you guys all like start a group chat like this is surreal no Okay

So I dropped it somebody dropped in the chat and everybody was just talking about how insane it was I like awesome It was I mean, it's like Dan whites going up there to give it to Donald Trump It's like he's like going back and like thanking people. It's pretty Yeah, do you feel a little hurt that no boys got it first? No, okay. No He's in with milk. Yeah, like nox's crew. I didn't know I'm so no boy. Yeah trumps are Yeah, I guess Trump is he's been on there like yeah

Boy, I guess yeah first. Yeah, Trump's or, yeah, I guess Trump is. He's been on there like three times. He's a milk boy. I guess he is. Our first milk boy president. Wow. That's huge. Van Buren? Yeah, I think Van Buren was. Maybe.

John Tyler was as well. Was he? Holy shit. I forgot about John Tyler. I always do. Some of the post-election tweets have been making me making me laugh though because people are like trying to analyze everything about America I did like tight as I thought of you because someone said they're like Obama won, Indiana and the yeah the only reason I come up with it is that he hooped yeah

Yeah, Indiana is a very deep red state, but you look back on Elections and we voted for him. Oh, he can ball? Everyone's like, why, how? The only thing that makes sense is yeah, we saw one clip of him hoopin'. We gotta respect it. Gotta respect it. It was like a jelly.

He just, yeah. I didn't know he could ball. All right, that changes everything. Yeah. Indiana just wants to ball. I mean, it's not crazy. It's not crazy, it's not. I mean it's not crazy. It's not crazy. Yeah, I mean Trump 64 Trump can who I think from the phone. Yeah, he might think you can who now this

makes me go back. How much got no handles? No, go back and look at it. No, every every presidential race of all time. Did Indiana vote for the better basket? Yeah, the better. Oh my God. They may have. That's interesting. That would be so great if they started if Indiana like was like, all right, we're as a state, we're deciding that we're just going to have them play. Yeah. It's almost funny if it's subconsciously, we accidentally vote for the best. That might be the best way to decide to be honest. Yeah. Who can ball? 49 states. it's just an election. Ball up top, let's go.

Brian, when did you get into roast battles? So we started roast battle in 2013. This is something, this is like a company you started. Oh yeah, it was like an underground fight club honestly. We had an open mic, or I had an open mic, and then these two cats went to fight. One of the guys who worked for the club, one guy was a new comic, honestly. We had an open mic, or I had an open mic, and then these two cats went to fight. One of the guys who worked for the club, one guy was a new comic, he was underage,

he wasn't supposed to be there. So the guy that worked there called him out and said, no, he can't be here, I don't even like this guy. And we're like, hell yeah, y'all should fight. You guys should slapbox. So you've seen real tension via roasts? Oh yeah, nobody's acting, well, Jeff Ross is a good thing because that's our partner in the crime. His his big rule was at the end just make him hug

that way there's no tension at the end yeah as you're saying the worst things to this person right yeah you're really attacking all the subjects destroying them yeah exactly so then at the end yes original material only no internet jokes like your mama jokes that you really do your research and then no physical contact and at the end they hug to dissipate everything So so it started with two guys beefing and you then created like an incredible career for yourself And we had the same thing and all we got was a blog We've been blogged about damn it our blog was crazy though because we used to have this one rule where it was if it was Two white guys on stage they could call each other the n-word

One rule where it was if it was two white guys on stage they could call each other the n-word It's kind of fair one n-word a piece and then we were getting popular and then this this black blog came through And they saw it and it was a double overtime they went and they were they hadn't used their n-word Yeah, no yeah, we had yeah, yeah that uh the annexation of Puerto Rico was a bad move So then yeah We got we got blocked up by by our own people and then we had to cut that rule is a black bog Just like graffiti font Wait so you started at just one venue? Yeah, we started the Comedy Store down in Los Angeles. And then we made it a leak because we're really about like, all right, let's check this thing out.

Let's really see who's doing it. So then we would call other cities who were like roasting that kind of thing. And they kind of said what we were doing when they hit TV. So then every major comedy club around the world that spoke English was doing this thing there's even a cat or even a couple cats in Tokyo who sent us a video and They they learned English for like three months just to battle each other in English. Oh, they have like roast culture Oh, bro. We have it 16 cities nation. I'm sorry. Yeah, we're all like a rondo Toronto, Montreal Barcelona Sydney, Australia

Edinburgh Scotland London Manchester yeah, so that's the international cat Scotland's the best If you can get past like the terrible English they do, if you're watching Scotland, I don't know how you guys fuck it up. Oh, it's a different language. Yeah, it's awesome. But yeah, they're really, they just write like, they're machine guns with their jokes. There's a bunch of jokes. The Irish are really good at it.

Of course. Yeah. Of course. So yeah, there's some really good cast out there. Ryan Cullen, who's from out in Scotland, He's Irish, but he started Scotland and James Regal He started Barcelona So it's just like a bunch of guys who just love this sport and we made it a league and so now yeah We're trying to get into you know

We're scouting detention see if we can get like NIL money kind of a thing Love that wait has has ron ever done a roast battle. I feel it's pretty roller. Yeah, so Original member this show oh for yeah, no Ron isn't done. Yeah, I mean I know he battle raps battle raps Yeah, no he hasn't but a lot of those cats do Cory Sharone. He's a rabbi. Oh, we don't like Wasn't there a guy who he battle rap that sounded like ron Carter Dean they've battled your own battle, but I think they're friends. Okay. I got it He's well-respected. I don't want to I don't want to Roan guys, I don't know if we're sure own. I think we are are we he's the Canadian guy, right?

Yeah, the autistic guy. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we all are we are I think so, but have they battle-wrapped Yes, that was rones comeback. Okay, but is it I think there was mutual respect. Okay. All right fine All right, I sure want to legends Yeah, we're sure own guys any white boys like push the boundaries and try to drop a second one in there No, I mean you throw a flag It's like the it works off. No, that's like the one, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, They know each other so we make the way we started was you got a hunch your own food So we don't set you up with anybody you got to like if you and Nick are friends It's like Nick back. All right. Let's go do it And you guys would like have a beer or some coffee talk to each other figure each other out

It's really a practice in consent and boundaries. Ah, that's really interesting I like it's more we called a joke writer showcase So it's not like these are like we're joke geeks me and my Commissioner Pat Barker. Shout out Pat, the Rest Battle League commissioner, but we just love the joke writing process. So really it's not guys attacking each other and trying to kill each other and like, you know, make each other disrespect each other.

It's you're attacking subjects of a person, right? So we say this is you're attacking the subjects of the jokes of the people. Like Brandon is thick, white, looks like a Viking, outstanding, I mean, like there's so many things we can say about Brandon, but he's like 6'4", and he beat the shit out of me, so I'm not gonna say anything.

I like everything about this. I love that. I'm gonna stay off of Brandon, but I'm saying, you're looking at what he is and who he is, and the essence of him, and then you attack those subjects. So it's really just like a joke writing process. Would you like to know more? No, no, Brandon, please.

Don't give me any more ammo Do you want to have Che go from the state of Mississippi? Okay, so alright, so maybe you might own me at one time Don't leave that alone Yeah, that's the that's the roast battle. We just joke writing geeks And so you're traveling around the country with these shows and then is there like a tournament at the end of the year with? Like yeah, so we we have a world championship. So the there's four divisions There's the east and west here in the states and then internationals, I guess north and south whatever we're calling it

But those four MVP is from those divisions all battle each other the end of the year and in a big world tournament We do it'll be in London this year. Well, first one was in Denver. It will be in London on the 26th of January. Very cool. That's awesome. Pull up. Pull up Compton. Yeah, let me get the flight. Alright. Get the flight dialed in.

I got you. Will, you'd be good. Yeah, I was going to say, from like locker rooms and shit, you feel comfortable doing that, Will? Not at the moment, but maybe if I sat down and thought about it. You and Tay should do it, just because you guys are like besties. That would be awesome. I wouldn't mind doing that. You guys would end up fighting. It would get hurtful but I like my odds in that one. Don't underestimate Tay man. He's a monster.

So yeah but yeah, Rose Battleman come check it out if you guys haven't checked it out yet. Blast last night. Chicago's the best. I mean we were scared of Chicago that's how we made the league because Chicago just does it the best. They shoot it the best. You guys have't checked it out yet. Last night. Chicago is the best. I mean, we were scared of Chicago. That's how we made the league, because Chicago just does the best. They shoot it the best. You guys have the best comics out here, because you guys are from the East, West, and the Middle right here.

So you guys kind of have all the styles. Austin is the buzzword capital. They have like, I mean, obviously everybody's down there. We got the month to ship once a month. So yeah, I really like what we're doing here in Chicago. I got to say it's probably the best. Are you just constantly on the road? All way just got back from Barcelona. She's She's traveling where you going next

I'm here. I'm living here in that big cat. Oh, this is it moving in love it. Yeah, there we go I hear here like in this in this building. Yeah, I'm living. Yeah right here You could do that and we wouldn't find out if we wouldn't know Yeah, no, you would know no, I'm living, yeah, right here. You could do that and we wouldn't find out for a while. We wouldn't know. Okay, no, you wouldn't know. No, I'd be the only 6'1 black guy here. You wouldn't know. You didn't have to say your height. Yeah, that was a shot.

That was a shot. That was a flex. Man, Will, is it weird knowing that one week from today you're gonna have two kids? Yeah, it is. It is. It's kind of one of those things you have two kids. Yeah, it is it is It's kind of one of those things. I was talking to chef Donnie and it's like He's like, what do you what's your thought process? And it's like kind of like it is what it is at this point There's no like pressing a pause button

Yeah, so you guys sit there and talk to your wife like we're about to have a second one another another child Yeah, no matter if we want it to happen at this point. Yeah, no, no, no come to California. We take care of It's weird though, but you any any tips any tips for the multiple kid parents here You know what they say what like you have a second kid now you have three I think the transition from one to two is bigger from zero than the one from zero to one. No way Why I think two three is counterintuitive See I've heard two to three is harder than zero zero to one wasn't that much of a change the first one You're all you're anticipating you've never done it before everything is new the second one you're doubling everything

Yeah, and it's I feel like my stress is lower on the second one coming. Yeah coming Yes, but getting here You'll realize quickly that one was the easiest thing in the world two car seats is double one right to everything right two diapers at one Time like there's a thing now you have one individual a second individual and then the two of them as an entity combo. Whoa. No more swaping bedtime. Well, because in Zero to One, too, it's like, when it's two parents, one kid, it's, you know,

it's like, oh, I'm gonna go out for four hours. Oh, okay. You know, you got a baby here, it's fine. I can look after it. But then when it's two, it's like, I'm gonna go out for four hours. It's like, oh, shit, you're gonna leave me with two kids? And no more taking turns with bedtime. No. She says one child is an accessory, two is a lifestyle.

Yeah, correct. That's what it becomes. But I will say, it's been, I thought it was easier. I have heard that it's easier going home. I was less stressed at least, like, because at least this time I kind of knew what I was doing. I thought zero to one was, that like just fucked me up crazy. But one to two, not too bad, because the little one helps bring you diapers.

I don't know. Well, the thing about one is when that baby's crying and you take care of it, it stops crying. When there's two and you stop that baby crying, the other one starts crying. And then you turn over here and then they're both crying. And then there's a constant wall of noise and you can't fight back.

Oh, not if you're a good parent. Oh, yeah. As an heir cake getter. That's never happened to me. It is funny, too, because you'll see, like you'll just realize how much attention you gave one. And it's just like cut in half for two. Yeah. Like my littlest one, like I just think about,

like when I had just one, all of our attention was on him. And now my youngest is like, he doesn't get any attention. This is just chaos all the time. Oh, we don't even feed our last one. Yeah, he just runs around, and it's just like, oh, yeah, you have four. I have four, yeah. I haven't seen the fourth one in years.

Yeah? I think he lives in the mailbox. I don't know. Shit, is he cool? Maybe, probably. Is Rue excited? Yeah, Rue's excited. I think that's what we're most, like, bummed about is knowing that the chapter of just us with Rue is gonna be done Yeah, but she's getting a sibling. I know but I'm just saying like selfishly you just you know

How much time you put into to Rue and now there's a second one coming and there's like, you know Yeah, you're gonna lose it's gonna sound gay But it's like oh how is there more room inside of you to like love the second one as much as you love Yeah the love in my heart yeah, there is I mean pause The first will always be the one you love the most that's yeah, I've told her No, hey, you're gonna be number one. That's your heart to tell her before my third is my best Really? Yeah, my third is on my power rankings. My third is number one. I guess my second is my best That's because it's a girl. Mm-hmm, and she

She's just cool Yeah, she's just cool. She's a guy. She's a guy's girl She like wants to hang out daddy's. Yeah, my's not even received a girl. Which is the best. He is pretty cool. I mean I don't have a son so I don't know, like having a boy but yeah, having a girl that's like a little daddy's boy. That's testosterone.

Yeah. Incredible. That's testosterone. You have a girl Brandon? I have one and three boys. My oldest is a girl. Some people are saying you're not. You're not really a parent until you have a boy.

Well yeah, you're not really masculine. I know, I know. It takes a man to make a man. Some people are saying you're not. You're not really a parent to have a boy. Well yeah you're not really masculine. I know I know. Take some man to make a man. Some people are saying that. Or you're having another girl. You couldn't make one. I'm not saying it. Girl dead through and through. I'm not saying it. That's gayer than loving your kid. Not being able to create another. You couldn't create a man. Yeah your family name is dead. I know. Think about that. Your dick can only a man? Yeah, your family name is dead. I know. Your dick can only make chicks. I'm just throwing dicks everywhere. Yeah, he can only make chicks.

Darts. Yeah. The peak of what you can make is losing a presidential election. Think about that. Oh. One day, if you try really hard, you can grow up and lose to a man. We had that discussion last night when we were like oh yeah there's a new president and my daughter was like I want to be president and I was just like.

It's gotta be an offer. Going to. No you can. Yeah sure. We can do it. Right Kate? Well. No, you can. Yeah, sure. Yeah. We could do it. Yeah. Right, Kate?

Well. I'm going to kill myself. As long as she can hoop. Yeah. Indiana. Yeah. Carrie, Indiana. Kayla Clark might be in the hoop.

Kayla Clark. Oh my gosh. She gets 95% of the vote. She would definitely win president. Yeah. Hailey Van Leith. Yeah., hey Lee Van Lee. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah, she's still in college at like 25 or three She's been wilder. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. She's got she's two ACLs. Maybe even three van lift. No age 23 at this point. Yeah, that's a nor and it's fine. Yeah, you do a fifth year. She can hoop

I didn't realize she was that old Wow, oh Oh, what was that? Oh, I just got a text from TJ. Oh Yeah, oh no, it's not. Oh, that one is different. He sent me one personally, and I think the chat is, they're asking for Brandon Mack. Brandon Mack's here today?

Oh. Is Brandon Mack here today? Who's that? Brandon Mack? Is Brandon Mack here today? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah I forgot. B Mack. B Mack. Huh. Talk to his king. So last night I was at the bar. You know I was being all cool like I am. Woman gonna come up to me she gonna ask me anything

you can ask somebody. She gonna come up to me she gonna say Brandon. I'll say yeah that's my name. She said Brandon does pussy taste like pumpkin pie I said don't ask me no damn question I thought I never had no pumpkin pie kick it Brian thoughts so that's Bernie Mac but Brandon Mac yeah Brandon Mac he's been doing Bernie Mac bits Bernie Mac. I suppose Bernie Like Bernie Mac and whiteface, yeah, yeah, we kind of yeah to get some milk and cookies Brandon's kicking the tires on being a cover comedian. Yeah, can that what do you think? No because You got to be more zesty you got a little more sass in it. Well, they put me on the spot, I just had to pull it out right there.

I've been looking for the old cross-colored shirt that he wore to his first Def Champagne, I can't find it. So, if I can get the whole outfit, maybe the suits from Kings of Comedy, I got something, but I haven't been able to accessorize yet. Really invested in it. I haven't invested in it yet, I'm really just test riding for now. No, you're just, I guess I don't even- I love sex!

I don't even hoop like this, you're shooting for the three bacon. I got you love it It's not bad. I'll be glad I put a different can But if you want to do that that bit you gotta be a little zestier little gayer. Yeah gayer so I'm saying okay That bit I'm saying all right. Yeah, I'm I'm working on it. I'm just there's a lane for cover comics God, I hope that New material only, please. But I mean, I've seen that though. I feel like a lot of Bernie Mac bits are coming back like karaoke. So yeah.

So yeah, Brandon Mac. Sounds like you're kind of discouraging me from it a little bit. That's what you want. That's you projecting right now, Brandon. Oh, I want people to doubt me. Yeah. Okay, all right. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers.

That's what I'm talking about being As you develop this you think you're gonna stick with Bernie Mac and just go deeper into his catalog So you're gonna pivot is it black comics only become I think it's black. I want some new comics I wanted to do a stage with the entertainer. I want to do the cigarette off the lip The the guy that fixes your car in the neighborhood, right? I want to do that and the running bit and then he told me me not to. He said, that can only be Brandon Mack. No, no, no, I think you have to do Dead Black Comics. I think it's all kings of comedy.

But, like, the Dead Black Comics. Except D.L. Healy. Some people are never going to be able to see them on stage. They have to be dead. They have to be all dead black comedians? It's an homage if they're dead. If they're alive, you're just ripping them off. So just Bernie Mack, Red Fox.

Great point. Yeah. Richard Pryor. I could do some Pryor. Yeah. Can you do some Pryor? Everybody does Pryor. Yeah. It's kind. Yeah, but can you do some prior? Yeah It's kind of hack. I'm gonna start at Bernie Mac. It's kind of hack. Whereas No, yeah, nobody's really dipping into Bernie Mac. Yeah, they're kind of doing it now shit It's like it's like it's like white comics knew like the wire kind of a thing. It's like Just now getting into Bernie Mac

wire kind of a thing. It's like, oh, just now getting into Bernie Mac. Oh, should we have a little Skittles? Oh yeah, Dead Black Comics is my improv strip, so don't call it that. Oh shit. Should we make Che? I'm just doing Brandon Mac. Che's got Chris Tucker too. Oh yeah. Oh, we do have a Chris Tucker.

Yeah, Che's got Chris Tucker and he's also got a- A bisective, yeah. A little bit of Little Skittles. Is Che gonna do little skittles? Oh my god. Chay we need, I don't know if you can hear us, Chay we need Chris Tucker. I didn't like that confident smile. Yeah.

I like how the black producer's like, hey go do that Chris Tucker thing. God damn! Do that Chris Decker Dexter from Dexter's laboratory Passable Chase got three impressions. He's got that, Godzilla, and the Gatorade commercial. I'm sorry you don't know this, he unveiled a fourth last week. No!

What is it? It's very niche Also, I don't know if it's good, cause I didn't know what it was. Would you like to do it, Jay? Let us guess. Let me confer, hold on. What? It's not, come on Jay! to do it, Jay? Let us guess. This is P.O. Yeah. Let me confer. Hold on. What?

It's not. Wait, he has to get a picture. Come on, Jay. I don't know who it's an impression of. It's not a white guy. You don't know who it's an impression of? I don't. Why does TJ look like that?

How do you do an impression but you don't know who it's of? It's of the beginning of the Waka Flocka song, No Hands. Oh, OK. All right. I'll takelocka song No Hands. Oh, okay. Alright, I'll take you. Just do Godzilla. Oh, how do you think you need to hear this? Oh no. Let me confer to see if they know who it is so I can put some context behind it.

Do the Godzilla one until they find that out. I gotta talk to them, but alright, I'll do the Godzilla one. Who does he need to talk to? Yeah, who are you talking to? I was gonna ask TJ and Zoph. Oh, okay All right, so it's the have you seen the movie Godzilla where they go into the hospital room and there's an old you sure You have the title, right? Of

The yeah. All right at the beginning. No the I think it's cab drivers something has seen Godzilla and They ask him in a hospital bed they light up or a lighter What he saw That's just setting the scene okay. This is a doctor action What did you see? match Good Sarah good Sarah What did you see? Match. Kutera, Kutera. Laughter

Thoughts? I know you're black and not Asian, but that was still offensive, right? I was going to say, like, yeah, that was, you brought dishonor to your entire family. Laughter You should commit harry-carry. That movie, it did more dishonor to Asian people. Yeah. And then what, do you want to do the

still like Steve Martin yeah power class give some John Candy I can do the Gatorade commercial dude yeah we would love that okay early 2000s Gatorade commercial the scientists that I'matorade. Naturally we called our stuff Gatorade. I'm gonna leave it again. It's an impression of a commercial that's like. That was like as Chris Tucker. Yeah you're right. It was.

Swap. Steve one note Che. Yeah. Che, tomorrow North Carolina is going to Kansas playing in Allen Fieldhouse two big blue buds started a new college basketball season Gonna be pretty fucking awesome Roy Williams said he won't even go cuz he won't know who to cheer for It's gonna be awesome baby a couple PTP prime time players All right, so Brian Yeah, could you work this into

Your show at all Take a travel and open up for the show yeah all right, so we do have a guy in Los Angeles His name is autistic thunder Not a joke he he's been my day one since day one, but he's a 40 year old dude. He takes his shirt off like Bird Crayasher and gets the crowd pumped, but his nickname is, he calls himself this.

This is self-proclaimed. He's Autistic Thunder. Yeah. Yeah, fully high functioning Autistic cat. But yeah, that could be Steve. Yeah. That could be Steve. Yeah.

You could take your shirt off and yeah, get the crowd hype. Yeah, that could be Steve. Take your shirt off and get the crowd hype. Autistic thunder and lightning. Oh. So you're autistic lightning now. Why are you autistic lightning? I don't know. People always say I am. No, they don't.

No, they say that all the time, Nick. They call you autistic lightning? Not the lightning part. That's what you added. Well, yeah, I thought that would be a good one. Not the lightning part. That's what you added Not doctors for the record no doctor we didn't say this Is everyone you encounter has anybody told you Steve you look like a tiny's interpreters bookie I got Steve. I got Steve. He hated me til then. Oh my God. Not the lightning part. That's the one party added.

That's so funny. You're killing me Che. Yeah. Che Che Che. Oh man. Brian I want you to roast me dude. I want you to roast me bad. Why do you want this?

I don't know. It's a fetish. Is it? You're a masochist. I like you so much though. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm dude. I want you to roast me bad. Why do you want this? I don't know. It's a fetish. Is it? You're a masochist. I like you so much, though. I'm such a fan.

So I told, I met Will at a Gila show, and Rogan had popped in, and Pauly Shore was there. All these weird people were there, and then the boys were there. And Will was wearing shorts, and he had these calves, and I was like, man, I remember playing Will Compton on Madden. I was like man. I remember playing will Compton Madden He was the fastest white dude That was the only reason you got it because he was so fast and you didn't know I was so fired up He was last name was Compton so yeah, you're like wait. What what did mad? I do of Willie I thought you were light-skinned dude. Yeah, oh wow. I met you. Yeah, and so I was just big yeah, so yeah

So when I met you I was like yeah, cuz I'm a Raider guy so I met Compton I was so excited about to tell him I was like, you're do you know? You're the fastest white guy in madness. Are you? Yeah, have you seen his museum? I was in the 80s. I was in the yeah. Yeah, no You always get a line back in the 80s. Oh make him a DN or something like that. Yeah, you were Yeah Like 240 like switch those guys, but you know. Have you seen his museum?

You gotta go to it after the show. You got a museum? Yeah. Like a Nazi museum? No, something like that. Something like that. Membrabilia. Yeah.

Expensive. No, he has a museum in the handicapped stall in the bathroom. Game worn jerseys. So Ru Bordell, that's your boy? Yeah. Built a museum. Did you go visit it today? I haven't today, not yet. It's on Google Maps now? Yeah. Yeah. Built a museum. Did you go visit it today?

I haven't today. Not yet. It's on Google Maps now? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. We'll come to the museum. Got reviews.

No way. Yeah. Yeah, it opens at 10 a.m. I don't even know what time it is. Yeah, yeah. Very cool. Opens at 10 a.m. Oh, switch it out.

Good job, Jerry. Uh, Brandon, do you want to do an ad? No. No, I don't. Please? I'm taking a week off. No. No, we need the people.

Be a fucking pro, Brandon. Be a pro. Be a fucking pro. Show the people what a pro looks like reading the ad. Be a fucking pro. Who's on your socks today, Brandon? That is Mr. Perfect Kurt Hennig, also dead. Oh, shit.

There's a website? Who do? Is this D Martino? It's gotta be. Look at that. Can you buy tickets? That's the guy that Tony Hinchcliffe created his whole persona after.

Who, really? Mr. Perfect, yeah. You look at Tony's character and that way to stand up, it's very Mr. Perfect. Oh really? Yeah. I can see that. Mr. Perfect was the best. The best. He's just everything. All those vignettes were the I could watch him forever. Mm hmm. The holidays are almost here and Steven

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Here we go. So good. That was phenomenal. Could you do it as Brandon Mack now? Oh. I feel like you almost have to honor this request. Yeah. He's trying to elevate you. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers.

The hell? I can't do this. I can't fucking do this. I like the I ain't scared of you motherfuckers is like pulling the string on the lawnmower. Just getting it started. I guess you started, you know pulling the string on the lawnmower. Yeah skin it started Yes, you started it gets that's how it gets into the I think the act once you get the attire It's gonna be the attire. Yeah

Just tough to find Yeah, I'm not sure cross colors is in business anymore. I want to see some Dane cook out of you Brandon I can't see Dane cook some Dane Cook out of you Brandon. I can't do Dane Cook. I want to see Dane Cook. He always just do that. Hit the microphone. Can I say something? Yeah. I think 100% of my standup comic consumption is black comedians. I've never seen Dane Cook. That's weird. You told us the opposite yesterday. Yeah, why'd you change it? Why'd you say that? Because Brian's here. I know I did. We didn't talk about this yesterday. Yeah, you'd you change it today? Because Brian's here? I know, we didn't talk about this yesterday. You literally were like, my favorite comedians are Steve Martin.

I've never seen Thane Cook. Gallagher, you said. You guys tried to make me do... You've never seen Gillis? Andrew Dice Clay. I did watch Gillis' special, the one about the Alabama football. I like that. Oh, Dice Clay would be a good one for you.

Yeah. Do some Dice Clay would be a good one for you. Yeah. I can't do Dice Clay. Do some Dice Clay. Hickory. Hickory talk. Wait, TJ, is it still in business? Brandon, pick something out. Let me get you something. Yeah, but Bernie Mac never wore any of these. But it's along the same style.

Yeah, that purple one is. No, he wore a white button up with colors here, the same colors here, different color patterns and different blocks So that wasn't there a picture of him and he also had jeans the airbrush Bernie Mac Yeah, I could probably get that done. Although that would I don't know if the airbrush place would honor that request But maybe they would the airbrush place Yeah, those that is what an outfit Oh damn God outfit harder to put together than you'd think that is an incredible pretty hard to put together

Brandy if you can find me. Yeah, yeah, that's not even like culture preparation That's just that's if you go to that's incredible if I go to that link Face airbrush your face not Bernie's face. Right, right, right. Yeah. Brandon Mack. Yeah, Brandon Mack. Brandon Mack. I need to find an airbrush guy.

I've been needing an airbrush guy for this for a while. We gotta have one. I live near an airbrush supply store. What? You live in the ghetto. I do. But no, I've never seen it open, but it's got like a shit ton of air. So I'll check it out.

I'll let you know. They've gotta have some kind of of I'm assuming they can airbrush guy they're looking to make money I'm like it feels to me like a front for something almost because I've never seen I don't know the airbrush ever goes away airbrush that's forever people people wear family reunions yeah right on they go to like always go on spring break the Jersey Shore Oh, you're right. I'm part team part team parts. Yeah Tweety bird girls, I've been wanting to get a big customer airbrush shirt. That'll be so awesome

That'll be awesome to have in the store. I have a lot of aliases. I'm working on What other aliases? I have. I have two. Brandon Mack. Brandon Mack and Big Customer. Those are my two I'm working with right now. Big Access had a second, but it didn't stick like Big Customer. Yeah. Was Tony Khan that gave you that? Tony Khan gave you the access.

You guys gave me Big Access on the Yak. No, it was Tony Khan. No, Tony Khan was on the Yak, and he said, you can come to W. And I had Big Access. You have Big Access. Big Access, yeah. on the yak knows Tony Khan was on the yak and he said you can come to and I had big access have big access big access yeah I got Matt Riddle the wrestler coming in tomorrow oh nice you're gonna miss the yak no I'm gonna miss some of the yak yes it's at 1130 I just realized that damn what I can I can

do the throw man be a pro Let's be a fucking pro Be a fucking pro Have guys ever come close to fighting? Alright, this is perfect because this is the sports thing. Uh remember Jennifer Sturger. Yes the fourth state Yeah, the birth are we never get wait. She got the picture of the dick Yeah, so he did it look like Kyle a Balboa from Madagascar of the dick. Yeah, so. What tree did it look like, Kyle?

A Balbob from Madagascar. Okay. That's good. I'm not gonna ruin her stuff, but yeah, I've heard that penis isn't that big. Sorry, Brett. Oh no, we saw the picture. Oh, you seen it?

Yeah, he had cocks on. Bring it up, we'll pull it up. Yeah, yeah. Well, show a Balbob tree. Shaped like a Balbob tree. Yeah. That guy's a Hall of Famer, come on. I don't wanna.

Anyway, Jen, she's a standupup and she was real big into roast battle work like kind of when we started back in the mid-20 teens and She's a hot girl. She's betting on another hot girl and they hated each other kind of a thing So that's the only time I think somebody else got in the fight It was they got a physical altercation her and Kim Kong in battle and then after the battle Somebody and Kim's crew had like when she like yeah Bitch, I like poked her in the chest and then Jen was like calling the cops. Oh She Karened out. Oh

No cops were called. What about tears tears happen? Mm-hmm. I've seen tears happen. I'd be a crier I bet so is there is it more like there is a line that can be crossed or it's just all dependent on how funny You are if you're funny enough you can is a line that can be crossed or it's just all dependent on how funny you are if you're funny enough you Can cross a line? No, I listen lines are gonna get crossed. I mean people always say that you know we are about consent boundaries, but It's like it's like a car crash. It's like the NFL It's like if you know you can't sue us for concussions when you know you which you're getting into yeah But I hear a lot of go when something doesn't land. It's like falling through a 37-story building

That has to be brutal like if I hearted jokes don't any other guy will say something it takes a minute to get over I hear like Sarah Silverman says it takes like a month or something to get over a roast. Yeah Yeah, they did sue for like billions of dollars who? concussions It's a fact check is like billions of dollars, although that was before We knew the concussions right I'm saying that yeah Like don't come in here yeah cuz you're gonna I was back when like John Madden would be like oh

you just gotta dust off the cowboy yeah yeah he's got his bell rung big cats seven times that comes after you guys yeah try to get everybody get everybody together oh he's like he doesn't think he'd be sued yeah all these all these yeah battle roasters have CTE you should they definitely yourself. They definitely have scar, like emotional scar tissue. Yeah. You should get yourself like a billboard to put up a check out of. Have you been battle roasting?

Yeah. Call this number. Class action. You struggling? The guys will meet and like set up boundaries a little bit. Like, you can go after this. Would it be a loophole if I like, it was me versus Kyle and I was just like,

you can't bring up anything. Take it. All right. Fuck. Don't talk about me. Yeah, you can't set bring up anything Yeah, you're not allowed to say anything about me I mean there's versions of the show. I mean like we there's another one called that your hood is a joke So they talk more about territories. Oh, yeah, so it's like you're Chicago. You're from Biloxi, Mississippi I'm into this right so that day talk about the region. Yeah Israel versus Palestine that type of thing. Oh, yeah, we get after it Yeah, there's there's so many versions of this so Nick Wawa sheets

Scream grinder versus tender Anybody get like so upset that they just don't go they're like I'm fucking I'm done with this Like their feelings get hurt that where they don't go their turn No, nobody's actually walked off. I take it back No, that has happened like a guy just didn't prepare and he was just getting lit up. He's like I can't do this Yeah, there was what I mean one guy just didn't have any just like I guess they got to take it and it was just They just lit him up. It was it was tough. That was like a real firing squad

We all felt bad afterwards because that was like bullying.'s like I mean he consented to being up here and So yeah, if you want to get lit up come judge, and we'll we'll talk about you all show okay Judge last night was a blast The blast did you roast people look ever here in there? Yeah, dude Nick's come on Do you have to be a don't make you know Nick's he's yeah? I wouldn't I wouldn't mess this cat. He's one of the most pungent roasters. He's a yeah. He's a serial killer It was fun will you should definitely Yeah, no, that sounds fun. You versus Taylor would be awesome Yeah, I'd love to see line it up. Yeah. up, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get it going.

I want you guys to write your own jokes, though. Yeah. Would you do that? Yeah, absolutely. All right. I'm just curious to see the direction both of you would take it. Yeah, I would do it. Yeah, because I know Taylor.

It's like, what do I get somebody else? I know Taylor better than everybody else. Exactly. Yeah, but yeah, you could like get someone to punch up your jokes. You'd be like, I want to make fun of this thing. Yeah, but there's a part of it too. Would you take a look and make it funnier for me? Yeah, but if that's like known, yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, listen, I remember in the beginning guys hated that. Like, there was like,

you know, you were an op if you didn't write your own jokes. Like, you know, standing there. Yeah, you almost get like you would get shit on it. But when we hit Comedy Central for those three seasons, I mean, obviously that was the gig. But I remember there was, Jimmy Carr had battled just for last one year, and everybody was writing for everybody. So it was like you had Louis C.K. writing for Jimmy Carr,

you had Dave Chappelle writing. It was crazy, people were just, they loved the sport of it, and they wanted to see guys win, so they would just send jokes in to you guys. It's like nuclear war. Yeah, it's just fun. It's like the ESPN or like sports center for jokes, honestly, everybody gets a turn, everybody loves it.

Who's in the sport. Yeah. What city or what? I'm thinking about it. Yeah? Yeah, it's in your head. It's almost like if you are like Comedy Central and stuff like that, it's like you would

not almost want people to write up jokes, but you want it to be entertaining. But if it's like a one-on-one, like say it's you and your boy, like it would almost be disrespectful if you're trying to get somebody else to help you source and like punch up your jokes. Also wouldn't you feel bad about winning with somebody else's shit?

Right. Like I don't know if that would feel as good. You'd be perfect though, Will, cause you're a funny guy, but you can also take jokes and it's also impossible to be mad at you Yeah, and you don't know very much. You don't have very many flaws Yeah, and you're still gonna walk away and be like I fucking love will you guys are setting you up Me up right now. There's nothing to make fun of you. I can't think of one thing I Roast me

I could think of one thing. Roast me! I want you to roast me! I can think of one tiny thing. Yeah, small. He had his underwear on one show. I just had one small thing. Oh, do you, you don't have to say yes, but do you want to measure your girth? It's going to be here on the edge.

He covered all of it. Zoom in on him. He's getting in the here on the end. Covered all of it. Zoom in on him. Wait a minute. He's getting in the backpack. Are you carrying around a girth measure? Kyle. For such a case.

Say it ain't so. It's a smart tape. Oh. It was for my bicep. If you want to. And it'll say the... Oh, in the museum. Go measure your girth and we can put it in the museum you don't have to obviously

Let me think about it. You want roasted come out girth review. Yeah What snacks you got in that me roasting myself? getting snacks that snack protein bar Wait, will they talking about you have a small penis. Yeah, okay? Yeah, yeah. All right. Good to hear. Grower, not a shower. That's the default sentence you say when you are.

Are you a grower? Usually not this small. I grow, I mean, yeah. What's the hardest roast you ever heard in the locker room about you? They call them... Yeah. Shrimp. They called them shrimp.

Oh, that was... Oh, what up, shrimp? That's what they called you that? Yeah. Oh, that's mean. That's not right. The fact they're looking at your small dick is wild. That's probably why you're having two girls Oh my god, yeah, definitely dick is too small to make a man

Yeah, you gotta get that's the hardest Dick is too small to make a man William Compton I see where it takes a month to get over this stuff I don't want to get over this stuff. Oh. Oh. Oh. Injuries take recovery time. Injuries take recovery time.

I have two boys because I have a massive pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Not to brag. Not to brag. It's substantial.

It's substantial. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. How big are you guys? How big are you guys? I have three boys. I have two boys. Damn, some swinging dicks over here. Yeah, my god. Ain't no way. Ain't no way. Well, what are you watching these days?

Shrinking. I'm watching that. Yeah, hilarious. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Um shrinking Yeah, that was well done that was really well done really it is a good show it's a great show Yeah, what's it about? I don't watch pink when I see everybody talk. I just started it. It's awesome. It's about great show. It's a great show. What's it about? I kind of want to watch Pink when I see everybody talking about it. I just started it. It's awesome. It's about a therapist in, Jason Segel plays a therapist. What's the old guy? Harrison Ford.

Harrison Ford. It's good. Okay. It also just makes you want to move to Pasadena. Right. Because there's just like everything. The weather out there at all times. Yeah, just all the houses and just looks awesome really well done with that

Yeah, Apple TV has really good shows when they just don't really talk about it. Mm-hmm Like you just kind of stumble on it. Yeah, a list actors on shows that slow horse ever been at So is fucking awesome, yeah, they're like, oh, here's a great show heard about it You'll find it when you find it Gary Oldman rules You know like Netflix does a new show and it's everywhere has HBO fallen off I think it's real falling off a little bit right I think Thrones is stinky They do another season of what's that?

your honor That was no time. I was showtime I watched it recently and it was on Netflix. It might havetime. I thought it was Netflix. Oh, I watched it recently and it was on Netflix It might have started. I thought it was oh, it was showtime. Yeah, it's wrong. So HBO is falling off I think so. Does HBO have the penguin? Yeah, I haven't watched. Oh that is that their is that their hot property right now? I think so. It's pretty good I guess you gotta watch that Yeah, I I've got shows out there Severanceance, another trailer came out season two.

The sci-fi? Yeah, good sci-fi. You want to get into the sci-fi, Brian? Severance. Severance, yeah. All right, well. How is it sci-fi? I feel like Will is hitting on me.

The science fiction. Yeah, what part of it is sci-fi? You just said what sci-fi is. The fiction is like fake. It's like science. All fiction is fake. Is it like, um, unrealistic? You know, sci-fi. How do you define the word fiction? Fake. What the fiction is like fake? science all fiction is like

You know how do you define the word fiction fake okay? Right, what's the science part of the fake? You know like a periodic table? Oh shit? Oh, so ever since about the periodic table. It's a fake periodic table something like that. They like sever Yeah, they sever your brain. Oh through science. Oh, there we go Then it's not real. It's not like based on true story. So that's where the fiction part comes in. Well goddamn you got it Yeah, yeah, we'll didn't know what sci-fi was last time we talked about that tracks All-time yeah, you find a TJ I laugh every time

All-time click yeah, you find a TJ. I laugh every time Was it was us? Yes? Yeah, you're like was it sci-fi sci-fi It's a smile through the whole Shut down Smile smile smile I didn't feel like ignored no Sci-fi? He... HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA Sci-fi?

Sci-fi? So... Sci-fi? Define sci-fi. HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA You're the best, man. Oh You're the best man, but there's nothing we could roast

It's great too cuz like I've I now can time it like when wills brain stops I know it like I'm right there Yeah, bro. I know it like it's like it's like being with like a like special needs toddler at a party Like it's okay Brain locked up right right the hamster just died. He'll be back. He'll be back. Yeah, are you with us? Come back to us How are the peptides? Good. Yeah, good. See what our peptides, you know, okay, I'm actually asking because I don't know. Bring it up. So you're just putting something in your body. You don't know what it is. No, I mean, yeah, I Google it and know what it is. But but

yeah, short chains of amino acids building blocks of proteins. They typically consist of two to 50. So what does it do for you? Gives you a boost. Type in CJC1295. We've done this before. Yeah, we have. I know, but I don't remember.

Do CJ, go back, get back in that search bar, do the CJC. Are they over the counter? CJC1295 ipamoralin. Can you get them over the counter? CJC 1295, Ipamora. Can you get them over the counter, or is it something you're getting? No way. I get it from my guy.

OK. Got a guy. Damn. Growth hormone. OK. Oh, Will's making a comeback. You coming back? No.

God. But once you go boost, you become a boost fiend. Every time I discover a new boost, now I need another boost. Another boost. Baking soda. Hey, see if there's any brain peptides. We can experiment a little bit. How, are you still drinking baking soda in the morning?

Every once in a while. Wait, what's that? Not every day. Explain the baking soda thing. It's like a performance enhancer. I've never heard that really? Yeah and I like I at first was like maybe this is placebo and I'm like wait I feel like better working out I feel like I can go longer I feel like I can lift more and there was like a big thread about it but that's all I got. How you just take it

top of the morning? In the morning, one to two, I keep getting the tablespoon wrong. It's either teaspoon or tablespoon. Big spoon or little spoon? It's one of the big ones. One tablespoon. Okay, tablespoon. One to two, one to three tablespoons.

Sometimes I do four. You just mix it in water? Mix it, you can do it. Yeah, it tastes like ocean water a little bit, but. Okay. I complimented Kyle this morning. When I I saw him I first saw Kyle this morning and he was wearing that shirt because it's today I said you look swole today Kyle and he says I am swole. I'm just wearing clothes to show it off now Hmm. I always yeah, I am fuck. Yeah, Jack's tweet about Jack just tweeted about it his fiancee text him

Whoa Other response what the fuck no Kyle is a will do is he stop lifting no I still do you have a home gym you've already you complimented me not too long ago mark I'm not falling for that dude hey do you have a home gym yeah You've already complimented me not too long ago, Mark. I'm not falling for that, dude. Do you have a home gym? Yeah, Mark.

Yeah, yeah. Is that where you go or you go somewhere? No, I use the garage gym. Yeah. Baking soda. All right. I know. Not just for cooking cocaine.

What about the garage gym? I wish I had a garage gym. I have a gym, but something about garage gyms, opening up the garage door. Dude, I know it's nice. I have a gym, but I something about garage gyms open up the garage door, dude I know it's nice. What about but the winners up here? Yeah, true Kyle, I wouldn't open the but hey you get the garage gym going then you get one of those big heaters Yeah, talk about the ones like rocket ships. Yeah. Yeah, what's your back going? Yeah, you there to kill you there to like no like lock the fuck in? It's purely to get bigger muscles and look better.

So you're doing like body. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to burn my lungs out. I'm not going to do like crazy CrossFit shit. I'm just going to go for this. But you're like lock the fuck in on, on your routine and yeah, I enjoy it. Like it's like the highlight. You're like mean mug people when they, like, yes, yes, I get so pissed., don't you walk close to me? Yeah? Yeah? I thought as much But you live what it takes no You live Brian no, I did was on TV. I just wear hoodies. Yeah For me, it's like I've been tiny my whole life. Yeah.

And if this one thing can make me just short and not tiny, then that's a motivator. You look great. Yeah. Bam goes who? Thank you. Thank you, too. That means a lot.

I tell you, you look good every day. I fantasized about dying honorably last night. What? What would be an honor battle? You look like if JJ Reddick was going as a boser brother for Halloween That's how you do it back in the comp. Yeah Oh, that was a great compliment What is what's on what was an honorable death you dreamed of? Going out with a smirk.

That's not honorable, is it? I don't know. Someone's killing you. How'd you get killed? Dying, like, unfazed. Like, I'm out. If the person thinks they got you, you still look them in the eye.

Undaunted. I wasn't fantasizing about being killed. But if you're going out, it's not like a war like like someone's on the airplane I really locked in on the process of passing away like wait of old age. Oh, you're leaven anyway. You're levitating right? Yeah He's talking about the head he had a fascination last night of dying honorably Dude if you die, I'm fucked. But he's saying old age. Just whenever it happens.

Just smiling as you go. Smirk. You keep on saying whenever it happens. You're correcting Will saying old age. Yeah, you know. When they say people die in their sleep, is there pain in that? Because that sounds obviously awesome.

They just go to sleep. I wonder if it's like a nightmare that you're having. Yeah. Or like is it a heart attack in the middle of your sleep? I don't know I never understood that I Guess there's no way to truly know yeah, yeah, maybe the guy was losing his fucking mind as he's dying But yeah, he was doing it in bed, so you just thought it was peaceful. That's kind of so it suck Sleeping in her yeah Suck so bad for your partner. Oh, yeah, never think about hurts. Yeah, you're asleep and it hurts. Yeah. It also sucks so bad for your partner. Oh, yeah.

Never think about that. Oh, yeah, he was so sweet. He died in his sleep. Yeah, but what about his wife or his husband waking up and there's just a dead body next to you? Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.

What about that? You'd have to get rid of the bed, right? I think so. I think you have to move. Depends on when you bought the bed. If someone? I think so. I think you have to move. It depends on when you bought the bed. If someone dies in your house, I think you gotta move. In this day and age, are you taking a picture real quick? No!

Just to be like, holy shit, no one's gonna believe this. Not really, no, but fuck no. Okay, yeah, no. Christ, Kate! No, I'm kidding. I would never do that. Are you keeping the recliner, Brandon, that you love? If a loved one died in your recliner? I

Someone tied in your house. I think you have to move in my name. I disagree I think there's so many remind it depends on if like if they were old as fuck and they kind of It's expected. I think you like if my grandma moved in and she was like 90 and she died in the house That's moved there to die houses are expensive Right, and I maybe your first thought to BC would be like I got to get out of this house But then a couple days ago by then it just be like all right then you're too late to do it I think it just pass away standardly. That's fine If someone gets slaughtered in your house, then I think correct a Rian bought a house where somebody was slaughtered what yeah

And he doesn't care at all. There's somebody named a Rian Rian Foster Our only non arian So kb you're just that you're just saying you're at peace with whenever you die no, I'm not at all dude It was just a thought process was an exercise you were fantasizing about the honorable death I'm not fantasizing but like oh like maybe I Could get some joy out of this in the last moments just smirking I do that I commit suicide like an ex-girlfriend. I hated sauce. Oh, yeah. Yeah That would be oh, yeah

going out while Just mark yourself here. She's got a clean like what'd you do like? If you died by your own invention you would find that funny and humorous on your way out which is a an actual thing that happens more than once yeah I think that's a segue segue guy the guy that made the statue of the horse in Denver I died on a segue of a cliff yeah so as you're going over the cliff you think you'd be that's a smirk, and you're like, well, this is kind of funny.

Yeah. What? Was he trying to show people how well it stops or something? Or he... How easy? Yeah. Was he like bragging and he went over, or was he alone? Yeah, well, I don't know the story.

The Segway guy died by going off a cliff on a Segway, is that what you're saying? Yes. That's pretty much the entire story, I guess. It might have just been suicide. Was he off-roading it? But what if it stumbled? I have a lot of questions. It was just suicide.

He shouldn't have trashed the Segway. 2010. I didn't say we were walking his dog near Thorpe Arch. When you reverse the Segway to allow a fellow dog walker to get past him, he fell from a nearby cliff from the River Wharf. A rugged country person. I don't think that was suicide.

That was a narrow path. Got too cocky on the Segway. I used to think about dying on the football field Really? You'd be a legend. Yeah, I think depends on how you went out though I used to fantasize about delivering a hit so hard that I killed myself That would be Coolest thing oh my god. Yeah, cuz if you got like you got like blowing up and you got downfield block Yeah, like on a screen that was sad five yards. Yeah

Shit you explode like the bird hit by that baseball. Oh my god. Just dot. Is you ever think about killing someone then? Like what is the other guy in this scenario? Yeah, I mean you want to deliver blows not like yeah fuck it. Yeah, he gets a skate You're walking out into the field and yes, you're ready to just be as fucking physical as possible The coaches and we're over the chips well sound like you're like wanting to kill somebody But you're wanting to fucking if it happens it happens. Yeah, I like take somebody's head off You just get a shot like over the middle Every coach will show your tape. That's how we want you to hit

Hit like you're about to kill somebody or you want me that that's ultimately like that's like That's like just in the culture. Did you ever have an injury that you got to get carted off? No Do you ever have an injury that you were down for like a while Did you ever have an injury that you were down for like a while? Uh, tore my PCL. I was down for a minute. Would you thumbs up on your way off if you were carted or would you let him sweat it out? I think I would be ripped. Thumbs down.

Oh, that doesn't look good. I'm having a bad time. That would be so funny. Someone needs to do that. He's moving, that's good. Oh, he's lifting his arm. Oh, he's not. Oh, no.

That vibes. Vibes are bad. Or hang out long enough to just hear the claps and then just turn. Fuck. Oh, look, he's all right. It was like, Adam's vibes, he went like this to the... Yeah. He car like like you want like this to the yeah I love when they're like there's it's happened a few times where like a

Like chain gang or like a photographer gets blown up. I want to say carded one off. Yeah Titans game. Yeah Aircast yeah, like no offense. We didn't really care Thanks for the thumbs up though, oh thank God What you said I think getting pulverized and the other guy dies is more embarrassing Yeah, well that would haunt you bad. Yeah, no he's obligated to mourn you while also like his legacy is getting bitched by you Yeah, oh, yeah, that's a double whammy. Yeah. Yeah, that's the ultimate. That's the ultimate fuck you.

There's been one guy who's died on an NFL team. I can't remember. It was a lion, I want to say. Yeah, he got hit in the throat. Well, I think he just... He was a wide receiver or something, and he just kind of collapsed on the field. Oh, that was it. Wasn't there a guy... Was there a guy in baseball who got hit in the throat? There was a guy, was there a guy in baseball got hit in the throat?

There was a hockey guy last year in European hockey that got hit in the throat. Oh, that was it. I mean, Damar Hamlin dropped. Yeah. I thought the worst for a minute there. Oh, there was a baseball player in 1920, Ray Chapman, got hit on the side of the head before they had batting

helmets and he died. Yeah. Yeah, Carl Vance hit him. Carl Mays hit him. Chuck Hughes, he just collapsed. Oh, and they finished the game. Yeah, it wasn Carl Vance hit him. Carl Mays hit him. Chuck Hughes. He just collapsed. Oh, they finished the game. It wasn't a hit. I think he just was playing with heart.

Yeah, show must go on. The part should stop the show. Brian, do you want to do the gauntlet? What's the gauntlet? It's a bullshit. It's a cornhole soccer goal baseball football basketball basketball trivia nice let's get it yeah yeah here like pull up though we've had a lot of people do it a lot of people do it big

cats first minute 26 nice should somebody else do it first? Yeah, if someone else can do it first, spin the wheel. Sam Talent. Sam Talent's the highest comedian on here. Oh, Ben Soder did pretty well. Who else? What other comedians? Cam Patterson. Damn. Cam is so funny. Oh my God.

Yeah. He's just natural. He's just a natural-like kid. Julio. We've been over we've been over Joey Avery Julio. Yeah, he's gotta have some shows somewhere in the country Yeah, tell me get out here Yeah, Soder Tommy Pope got really mad Pope is like cannon Samurail, oh he he got that ruined his day. Yeah, it really genuinely.

And like as long as you're like below five minutes, you're going to be Cam Newton. Yeah, so that'll feel good. That will feel good. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. We'll have someone else go first and then you can see how it goes. Maybe Brandon should talk to Cam Newton about like Bernie Maxx wardrobe. Yeah, I probably got it in there somewhere. Him and Cam Newton. He he's a big Mississippi State guy and didn't Cam talk to Cam Newton about Bernie Mac's wardrobe. Yeah. He probably got it in there somewhere.

Him and Cam Newton, he's a big Mississippi State guy. Was Cam Newton, did he commit to Mississippi State? He went to community college in Mississippi, didn't he? I think they have, but Cam and Brandi. He told the story. What was the guy's name? I don't remember. About community college about

Blame on the act told the story about how he What was the story he was in Mississippi State on a visit and somebody persuaded him not to like what's not to go? And he said the guy's name. Yeah, it was the running backs down running backs dad. Yeah crazy story It was there was like the Sylvester Crume there that point That's I don't know Yeah, I don't know shit wish we had someone who would know Crazy story. Who was there? Was Sylvester Crume there at that point? I don't know. Yeah.

I don't know, shit. Wish we had someone who would know. Brandon. He's missing college football talk. Where are you from originally? Los Angeles, California. Oh, doll of the hat. Good at picking up on cues.

I'm a Raider. That's not a Da. Dodger. Yeah, I guess Kings fan, yeah. Yeah. It's hard being a Raider fan. We've been doing it for a long so bad So bad must be but I think it's cool like Specter yeah, yeah

Like in the worst gang yeah What's the pulse right now with the fan base? Do they want AP out? I feel like the hard cores are like give them a chance, but the fact that Brady's there now and they're kind of talking to Belichick a little, or he's talking to Belichick. I think everybody kind of wants a Harbaugh or a Belichick type. They want Shador or Cam Ward, or one of these new guys that are coming in. But that's the big, I mean, honestly one of these new guys that are coming in.

But that's the big, I mean, honestly, I think because AP wasn't a coordinator before, so a lot of the fan base, because they're knowledgeable, they're just like, ah, we wanted somebody with a little more, you know, experience. More of a resume. Yeah, but it's like, he's got so many guys with resumes on his staff, so, you know, let him grow.

I mean, let him grow. Shador would be awesome on the Raiders. Oh, he was so sick. And he wants to be a Raider. Does he wanna be? That's what he wants to be, a Raider. That, he looks so sick. Does he want to be? He wants to be a Raider. That's what we need. Somebody who wants to be. Silver and black.

Him and Max would take over. Max is the guy out there. I love the condor. Come on. Alright CJ, spin the wheel. We'll have someone go. Real quick. We're not having Brian go? No, he's gonna go after. He's gonna be able to see how to do it.

Me? Yeah. If you don't want to, we can just say Brandon. Yeah, say Brandon. Brandon, you gotta go. I feel like I do it a lot. You do. Brandon's turn.

Brandon. Fast. No, it's one of the fast ones. No, you're up, bro. Respect the wheel. Who in the office? Chef Donnie hasn't done it. Is Chef Donnie here?

I saw him today Wait he did do it he did cuz he tripped and we were all like what a loser That was something different something different like he tripped over the mic but didn't he get stopped by malice that was rudy Oh my god you're confusing your hot guy i am Or confusing your hot guy don't blame you don't blame you all right brandon Donnie had the absurd get sassy with it get sassy with that's right. That's what that was the Donnie moment. Yep all right And what Brandon will be out there to help you when you go all right ready Brandon Yeah, all right three two one go Just gotta get one of these Just gotta just gotta get one of these just gotta go I gotta get

one of these just just gotta get one of these and you can't get one of these this is pretty easy step yeah this is actually the easiest step and Brandon is oh my god Brandon this is not you only have to get one you don't have to get one has to go just gotta get one of these yeah I saw you got a score goal and after you shoot the first three you can shoot from anywhere One home run which is above this level Ball through that Oh Oh There it is sassy three-pointer three-pointer nice Titus could he win, Indiana Indiana. Oh! Oh! Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

Oh. Uh. Uh oh. From the side. Whoa. That's a good four. There it is. And then you gotta get 10 random sprinkles

so you can get in any category here. You just gotta get 10 right. Just 10 total questions. Total questions. So you can get in any category here. You just gotta get 10 right. Just 10 total questions. Total questions. So you can hop around. Ronaldo. Ronaldo. Messi.

Mbappe. Four NBA teams spelled with four letters. Jazz. There it is. Heat. Yes. Sam's. One. Scully. Scully. Mulder.

There we go. One nothing. Uh yellow, red, and white. There you go. What? He's done. Oh, that was that was Brandon. What a recovery. That was 290. 290. Good rock. Brandon, that was, you had 30 seconds on cornhole. I know, that would have been a good run.

A really good run. That's, where'd the soccer come from? I almost killed Jake. Yeah, whoa. I'm just tired of his shit. Could you do that every time if you want? Yeah, if you just kick it as hard. That kick was crazy.

You kick it as hard as you can. He can't do anything. Maybe the account will tweet it out. I doubt it. All right, I gotta go help. You do it. Yeah, but maybe the account will tweet it out. I doubt it You got it. He know he left What sport do you guys think has the highest injury rate and it's not close surely surely pickleball no You know the answer I just looked it up so I mean not gymnastics Assuming not football and women play soccer

No equestrian hockey And it's not bull riding. It's not close rugby. I would say NASCAR. Oh no Ultra marathons Did we say football? Are you warm like yeah? I'm getting ultra marathons is warm to lukewarm. Ironman? Warm to lukewarm. Oh, bicycle racer.

Cyclists. Why, because they're crashing into each other? I didn't look that up. It's probably bad on... Is there any minor injuries that could happen, I guess? Like, everything is bad when you I don't know That's like accident base like crash base. I think it's more it fucks your legs up. I thought I thought it was better Maybe it doesn't I don't know what the reason

You ever see that picture of the guy's leg before and after the tour de france. Oh, it's not no find other twitching one No, it's a muscle one muscles. He shows the muscle was like throbbing He took a picture before the tour de France and after the tour de France Just swollen I'm ready to respect like everywhere like shredded up Yeah, I'm with you I want to I want to like follow the tour but it's just Before but that's after is that his knees dear God in the middle easy. I don't know what it's oh That looks like the worst cramp ever are we ready to call these guys like top-tier beasts or not be I don't know they do a lot of cheating

They do I Mean they're psychopaths for sure. Yeah. Sticky hands. Learn that cheating. That's a fun cheating thing the cyclists do. Sticky hands? Why would they be allowed to have sticky hands?

Is that their hands sweating? No, it's when the pace car, or when their team car tries to drop off a water bottle, and they take it, they grab the water bottle like this, so the car's going and they get a boost from the car. They hold onto the water bottle for like an extra second and the car revs it, sticky hands. Didn't know. Yeah, it was a big, there was two guys fighting

and it was like the most French fight ever. They're like, where'd you think I learned that from? They didn't actually physically fight, but you could tell that if they did it was just going to be slaps. Oh yeah. With a glove.

Maybe a kick. Like fast. Yeah, maybe. There's nothing better than like a soccer player getting in a fight and they just go right to kicks. Yeah. Kicking each other. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Let's try to kick each other. All right, we're good. All right, here we go. Let's go, Brian. You got it. Come on, Brian. Three, two, one, go. Oh's go, Brian. You got it. Come on, Brian. Three, two, one, go.

Oh, my god, dude. Oh! Dang. Oh, no. Oh. Tough to go after Brandon on this one. Oh, jeez. Oh, this is going to be.

This might not be good. He's in the chucks, too. We need some trickery. Oh! You can score from anywhere. You can score from anywhere now. Oh, J. Right at him. Oh! I feel like... Get closer. Get closer. You can get closer.

The guests are too polite. You can get closer. You can get closer. Like, they don't know they can go up and just start kicking them They can kick oh, he's being a dick about this. Oh Jake's loud. Oh kind of Good I bad pitch Oh, good eye bad pitch. Oh Okay, oh He's gonna have trouble with you might have trouble

All right, what do we do? Talk about we do Inside after ten minutes the other give them a fake ready you throw it to him He had the nerve to get Maybe just give it a test run. Oh you got cocky after the home run. Yeah, oh Oh You're on it Step up a little step up a little

yeah oh fuck it we were focused we're getting it we're getting it we're getting next row this one I got this up it's this one oh no it's this one no, he needs to recalibrate. Maybe aim for a different bottle. You lost it.

I feel like you gotta go diagonal. Stay in it, Brian! Stay in the fight! Oh, fuck! Step up a little. There it is! Woo! Alright, alright. Alright. This should be smooth here. You think so? Okay. Will! The first one's always off. Oh fuck.

First ones are tough. He's a comic. He's a comic. He's a comic. He's not... Bang. Oh. Where is he? Where's the shot? He is not pulling well in Indiana. His polling numbers are off. Oh, no. Oh, no.

They're calling it already. Ryan, you've lost Indiana. Less than 1% of precincts have reported and they're already calling Indiana. Oh, how is he missing the same way every time? There. There it is. That was a change. Oh no. Oh no. Stay in it. Stay in it. Oh. This is a guy who battle roasts for a living.

He's setting himself up for tragedy. Yeah, this is. Oh my God. This will come up. Someone's gotta come play this video. This is round one, two, and three. Oh, come on. No. I mean, Jeff D'Lo is smiling. There's nothing wrong with underhand.

Low territory, I'm out. Yay! There we go. Watch out, watch out, watch out. No! Shit! That's my biggest fear. Oh, into a newt sick today. Oh. No! Shit! That's my biggest fear. Oh, into a new sick today.

Oh. There we go. No! My biggest fear. That one felt good. You're still fine. Stay in it. He's keeping on saying it.

Stay in it. Stay in it. Yes! Sweat! Here we go. Here we go. All right. You're fine.

You're fine. It can be any. 12 summer Olympic sports involving water. 12 Olympic sports involving water? Any of them. All right. You're fine, you're fine. It can be any. 12 summer Olympic sports involving water. 12 Olympic sports involving water? Any of them. Diving. Yeah, yeah. Think about swimming.

Yeah. 800 fly. Oh, okay, you got this one. Name the countries where these are located. Stonehenge. That's in- You travel the world. The countries? Yeah. Oh, that's in Britain. travel the world. Yeah. Oh, that's in Britain.

OK. Taj Mahal Taj Mahal is in India. Yeah. First names of the Simpson children. Marge Barth Lisa. Or Lisa. What is the third? I'm sorry. Oh, Maggie Maggie Simpson. Three, seven. Oh, two colors of penalty cards in soccer. Oh, red and Simpson three seven. Oh two colors of penalty cards and soccer. Oh

Red and yellow yes Beat a lot of people yeah Walk us Your first little exhaustion your first shot on everything was god-awful It was it left something to be desired. Yeah But you stayed in it Stayed in it. That's the important part. I'm wearing knockoff Tim's of Chuck Taylor's and some jeans. I feel like a an immigrant There's got to be a pro athlete below you yeah, right there has to be my first one was in the sixes so he's good

a pro athlete below you. Yeah. Right? There has to be. My first one was in the sixes, so he's good. Oh, man. 5'22. I'm just talking trash, but I can't, too. You win this one.

Do you think this is going to come up? I could beat Tommy Pope. In roast battle? Yeah. Delaney Walker. Yeah, I'm going to be called the most unathletic black guy to ever be in this room. Oh, yeah.

Delaney Walker, you beat Will Compton's first one. Chris O'Connor. Chris O'Connor. Paul Rable. Paul Rable. Big lacrosse. You beat Big Cat. Big Cat'Connor. Paul Rable. He can't be blindfolded. Yeah he did. He could be blindfolded. But not by much.

Little sass didn't finish. Little sass didn't finish? Yeah he just looked and he's like, I'm not doing this. He's the best. Alright, so not on the last page. And above, Will and Delaney. And me. No, this does come up in a row, you guys got me. All right, so not bad not on last page and above Will and Delaney and me no this is Come up in a row spell you guys got me. No, it's an athletic whatever I am right now

I'm out of you stayed in stayed in it the basketball hurt me the most yeah, I played three I played three times a week. We ball all the time. I cannot believe this happened to me really you like good at defense or something Yeah, yeah three yeah D. No three yeah Didn't win, Indiana Never run for president no Do high noon yeah, then we'll spin the wheel high noon It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon end zone pack is here It includes it includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit The high noon end zone pack is a fall exclusive which means it's here for a good time

Not a long time visit high noon spirits calm before your next tailgate to find a pack near you high noon Love it. Oh. Eight minutes blindfolded, that's crazy. Yeah. That's insane skill. So the rule is once, every time you're in the office, you can do it once, so next time you guys are back in Chicago.

Yeah, you'll do it again. You guys come to LA, yeah, we'll figure something out. I'll take you like a gang neighborhood or something. Yeah, I think you just threatened me. Yeah. Yeah, you give us a gauntlet. All right, let's spin the wheel. Let's hope we don't have any issues,

because I don't want to explain this to you, Brian. You've been through enough today. Started off with the lamest beef ever. Yeah. There it is. All right, we're good. Brian, thank you so much. Thank you, Brian.

Thank you, Brian. So much fun. Everyone follow him. Socials, what are we. Yeah, Brian fun everyone follow socials. What are yeah? Battle check out Rose battle we drop a new episode every Thursday podcast every Tuesday Rose battle yeah, so go check it out really good stuff, and thank you will thanks really will miss you next week Yeah, good luck in the trenches boys. Yeah You got to sleep there on the number two you sleep in luck in the trenches boys. Yeah, you got to sleep there on the room number two. Are you gonna sleep in the in the hospital? Um, I don't know. I don't

think so. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, I don't think so. You're gonna take care of the Roo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, gotta take care of Roo. Yeah, someone's gotta let Waffles out. Yeah, somebody's gotta take care of Waffle. Somebody's gotta sit with her on the couch. Is waffle gonna post for the new member of the family? Maybe. Yeah, we'll get a waffle post cooking. We'll get a waffle post cooking. All right, that's Yak.

Thanks, guys. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Get your straws Yak style and stay for a while. It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Get your straws, yak style, and stay for a while, it's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak!

Yes, time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap, it's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Have a good one. Love you guys. See you tomorrow. Bye.