The Yak - Will Compton is Becoming a Bookworm | The Yak 2-5-24

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Where's Waldo?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. Welcome in the Yak. Live from Las Vegas. This is, I don't know if this couch is going to work. Roback.com. Roback.com.

Promo code Yak, 20% off the first purchase. Excuse me to pull those hoodies, joggers, shorts. And here he is. My guy, Roan. Big surprise. I got to sit differently, huh? Yeah, that isn't working for you, I don't think. That's not looking... What do you think?

It's not fangled. It doesn't look great. It doesn't look as bad as it should, though. It's always weird doing these shows with the lav mics. We just don't have our flow. It's just different. The first Monday episode of every Super Bowl is dog shit. Yeah, I heard Mostly Sports Today was like the worst episode.

Well, I walked in, and I walked through the set, and Titus, I think I overheard him saying, like, when did Michael Jackson die? Where? Where? First of all, it was where. First of all, that's a fine conversation. And then I said to Brandon after the show, I was like, how'd it go? And he's just like, eh.

I was like, oh. I say that after every show. You get the Michael Jackson dad. No, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. Breaking case of emergency. Where did Michael Jackson die was a fine conversation.

We got on a good topic that I think KB would enjoy, which is Wikipedia entry. Where you die is important, because when you go to someone's Wikipedia page, there's some intrigue if they're, like, born in, like, the Midwest and they die and, like... They take some liberties. Of where they die? Wikipedia.

Well, like, I was on Henderson's just now, and they claim Flava Flav, Celine Dion, Mike Tyson. Were they died? Yeah, but where you died. I'm talking about like... If you were born in Los Angeles on your Wikipedia, but you died in Crown Point, Indiana, there would be some questions.

Notable people section. It's like Buddy Holly and them died in like bumfuck Iowa that's a bad death that's a bad death we're saying you should die

somewhere cool because it looks cooler when you go to your Wikipedia it looks more accomplished it looks like

you accomplished something it was like you were born in the backwoods and you died in Rome you made it

in Brandon Walker's level of popularity you'd want to die in a smaller town to be like this is where Brandon Walker died you don't want to

die in LA so where's the best place to die in a smaller town to be like, this is where Brandon Walker died. You don't want to die in LA. Oh, that's true. So where's the best place to die? Coolest. It's not Florida. No, Florida, you can't die in Florida. No, Florida, immediately you start thinking like some type of meth. The moon? No, I think that's where they retired and died of old age. Montana

might be a good place. Lost at sea? Lost at sea? No, sea's too big. I want like a sign. But that's, on your Wikipedia, that's so fucking sick. That's right, you need a sign. Don't you? Oh, Gandolfini? He died in Rome.

I think he did. But a lot of people have died in Rome. Guy in Rome. The Vestal Virgins. Portland? Oh, that's all funeral cost. Who cares? Oh, I don't care about that.

No. Yeah, you're dead. That's someone else's problem. Right? Portland's probably a fine place to die, though. Which one? Well, Oregon. Yeah, Maine.

I like Portland. Maine would be a fucking disgrace to die in. Fighting Antifa. No, you can't get killed by Antifa. Mount Everest wouldn't be bad because you're just still up there. It preserves you. That's true. You are your own sign at that point.

Wow. The dude who died by the Titanic, that was cool. The propeller! Yeah, even though they... That made the funny sound. Yeah, the propeller guy, but I'm saying the sub guys. Oh, those guys, yeah. Even though they died like 20 feet under the water.

Yeah, really. They were really close to the Titanic. They just forgot to close the hatch and just filled in yeah um what's up ron i miss you guys i miss you man you guys are all weak oh i can't see you this morning i was in there i was in the iron i was there you were paper planes what the fuck are you talking about no i wasn't bro i was fucking fights jackie we're all i was there with Fights and Jackie, too. Oh, you must have came in late. That's why you're late here. Yeah, maybe, honestly.

It could be. I didn't realize how fucking far it is. I also had a lady Uber driver who was pushing a 56 and a 65, chatting about Henderson. Lowest crime rate in America, though. Can you say driver if it's a lady? That's a great question. The only lady driver is Minnie.

Oh, that was good. Oh, yeah. I apologize. I got to be on my phone for a minute because I just got kidnapped by the bus and boys. They made me. They were late to the interview I was doing and then had me go right up to nine. This is a good angle, guys. Does this look like a boner pillow?

Like, obviously. It is a boner pillow, right? Yeah, but does it look like it? Does it look like what? A boner pillow. No, that's a self-conscious belly pillow. I don't know if that's

a pregnant pillow. They're worse. Have you guys ever gotten hard on this show? I haven't. I don't think I have. Too, like,

my adrenaline is too high. Yeah, I think my adrenaline's too high. My penis is at its smallest. Also, we do it at noon.

Noon's not a hard time for me. Noon a hard time for you? Like, now we're doing it at 10 a.m. That's closer to a hard time. What's your hardest time? Oh, between 7 and 9 a.m. Really? Like now we're doing at 10 a.m. That's closer to a hard time. What's your hardest time?

Oh, between 7 and 9 a.m. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Morning guy. Wait, really? I don't have a lot of control over.

Are you hard for two hours? No, somewhere in there I'll get hard. Stephen Jay is notoriously a hard in the morning guy. Is he? Yeah. Brags about it nonstop.

I've never been hard on the show. I went to tweet the link for the show and people are mad at me because I didn't address the sales thing that you guys had last week. That was blown out of breath. By the way, I did address it.

I got my sympathy. I texted KB and Nick right after and I said it's fucked up and they said the sales team has already profusely apologized. Yes, my God. Too much. Yeah, I feel weird.

Yeah, it's gotten annoying and now I'm mad at them for that. But now people are mad at me for not being mad at them. Yeah, stop going at that. Stop it's gotten annoying, and now I'm mad at him for that. But now people are mad at me for not being mad at them. Yeah, stop going at that. Stop that, yeah. Who made you guys do it? Or who broke the news to you guys that you had to plate?

Plate and serve? That's the thing. There was no individual person who's at fault. So how'd you hear about it? The grapevine? Well, our name tags were at the bar. Oh, that's what it was? And I thought it was fucked up,

but I also know these guys like content, so I was like, let me know if I need to step in and crack some skulls. They profusely apologized. They felt like shit for doing it. It was a... You were gruntled.

It was an oversight. Yeah. And honestly, they chose the right two people to not talk to sales. Of the five, yeah. No, you would have been great at it. You guys were crushed.

By the way, congrats on McDonald's, dude. Wow, yeah. Congrats on 47, Brent. I'm 47, Brent Hatz. 47, Brent Hatz is the best. 47, 47. 47. McDonald's, though.

McDonald's. Joe Embiid had to just give up his knee for that. Yeah, we're serving meniscus burgers now. Flaps. I saw a report that said his knee flap. Yeah, his meniscus burgers now flaps i saw a report that said his knee flap yeah his meniscus flap and this is his third meniscus injury over his career which luckily he's not tall as fuck yeah and 280 pounds he'll be fine just thumping his fucking body around it sucks so bad but it's also so predictable what's uh what are you gonna do though you're doing a

beard these days it sucks so? I need to get some Minoxivil or Sidox, whatever the fucking, some face Rogaine. Get my shit fucking right. Why? It looks pretty full. It looks pretty cute. You look good. Yeah, no, that was the softest. Shut the fuck up. Oh, yeah, you look good.

You got the... I don't know. You got some white hairs coming in. I know. I need, I needed some age, though. I look a little pedophilic. The older I get, and the fucking... Like a victim of pedophilia? It doesn't help that you do a podcast with a 14-year-old. Yeah.

Tiny, tiny little Pat Bev. From his apartment, in his couch. No, we luckily just moved into the office, but it was a rough period where he would just trap us in his apartment. It's like, he seduced me, though. You know what I mean? Sassed it?

Yeah. Well, that still makes you a pedophile, regardless. You can't use that as an excuse. Yeah, that's funny, though. Yeah. Look how charming this boy is. 14-year-old said he wanted it. There's a movie, May, December,

that just came out where like it's about a like a 14 year old that has an affair with like his teacher or something like that and then they grow up

they have kids together and she's at the end of the movie she's like blaming him being like you fucking seduced me this is your fault I was powerless

how am I the bad guy he's the one that made me horny powerless you knew I was into kids you used that against me I watched. You knew I was into kids. You used that against me. I watched Priscilla on the plane. Have you guys, are you familiar with this story, Brandon?

I'm not. Elvis is a bad guy? She was in ninth grade when they started dating. Oh, no. Wait, what? He was in the army, right? He was on his Jerry Seinfeld shit? Even worse. He makes Seinfeld look like a fucking patient man.

Ninth grade? That's crazy. And he was, like, the most famous person in the world at the time. But I think that's actually, like, this is a fucked up thought, but, like, if you're funny enough or famous enough, like, you can be a pedophile? Because, like, Jerry Seinfeld, like, no one brings up the Jerry Seinfeld thing in high school.

Yeah, if you achieve enough. Yeah. They're like, no, he's so funny. Yeah, I think, like, there's a level of, like, idolization. Jerry's, I think he's so funny. Yeah, I think there's a level of vitalization. Jerry's, I think Elvis was. Elvis, Michael, the most famous people were. Are. Are.

Michael Jackson. Well, who did Michael Jackson get? Macaulay? Didn't he get a... Wade Robson, the dancer? All alleged. All alleged. But then how would you explain...

Michael Jackson's dead, though. If there is an alleged rumor, then it's probably true. Why did you send me that for, TJ? I'm not even telling you that was a good conversation. Oh, yeah, that's fine, TJ. They tried to do CPR on Elvis when he... Not on Elvis, on Michael Jackson when he's still on the bed. So it didn't work.

And that's why the doctor... Did he go to jail? Really? They tried to do chest compressions on him while he was still on the bed. Okay. And I just think he just probably looked funny. It was probably a waterbed, too. Dribble and Mike.

Yeah, that's a, what a. Elvis rocked. What? Well, yeah, minus the part we were talking about. No, I mean, clinically, he rocked. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. The idea of doing a, what do they call it, when you stay in Vegas for a long time?

Residency. Residency. That rocks. I don't know if this is my kind of city. Yo, I hate Vegas. You think that rocks? You think it's hard of it, though? To, like, stay here for a month?

To do shows? Yeah. I think it would be cool. You don't think Celine Dion's fucking miserable when she's out here? Well, she rocks in a different way. Yeah, it dawned on me as I saw the David Copperfield dance. Yeah, Copperfield was sad. I so badly want to see a David Copperfield documentary.

Did you see his smug-ass billboard on the way in? Yeah. It's him with an eyebrow raised with a T-Rex behind him. What tricks is he doing with a T-Rex? Did you see that? I almost went to a show last night and then I thought better

of it. Is it at the Luxor? MGM Grand, yeah. The boys are going to dinner tonight. Yes, we are. Are you excited? All of us?

We moved it to six. I'm embarrassed. I need a release. We moved it to six now? All the better. I was in the airport five hours one-on-one with Fasola.

That's a dirty job episode. I'd rather do OT shit at the matchstick factory and get Fasoli. That's a dirty job episode. I'd rather do OT shit at the matchstick factory than Fosse jaw. I didn't realize Fasoli, he can talk. Fasoli can talk? Fasoli also got a Nintendo

Switch, and there's a boatload of games on there. He was trying to play Mancala with me on the Switch. The African game? The one with Marvel? On the Switch, we're at a level one with Marvel? That African Marvel game? On the Switch. We're at a level of tech where we could be playing Mario Kart or Skyrim.

We played Man Kala on the Switch. You guys were at the airport. We took our flight. What time was your original flight? 9 a.m. And you were there at what time? We took off before you. I left my apartment at 6.

And your flight departed at 2? 2.30. Oh, my God. That's eight hours. I spent a workout with Fasoli? Yes. But when you got here, what was the first question you asked? Fasoli texted me and asked if I wanted to get dinner.

Buddy, I'm you now. Yeah, he can talk. I didn't know that. I like Fasoli a lot. I love him. Can you cosplay how your conversation went with Titus being Fasoli? Just do it in my jam. Every time he would jump me in marbles on virtual mancala, he'd look at me and say that.

Just do it in my jam. Just do it in my jam. In my jam. No, we had a good time. If you want to be trapped in the airport with somebody, it's better than in silence. Yeah. No. No. I'm afraid i agreed with you at first and then he was playing mario kart and i like napped and he was like i'll watch the bags while you sleep and so i just fell asleep there so it was nice at least you didn't have what max is going through right now sitting next to a journalist who then reported everything back to us nightmare he's max so is it farts or farts plorts max set sat next to our

friend diana racini on the flight from new york here and he was uh late getting the airport so first class max no not first class athletic not doing so well steerage yeah yeah the uh he got a burrito before and ate the burrito on the plane and then fell asleep, and she just texted PFT. She was like, he's so disgusting. He's ripping farts nonstop. Now, was she in on the joke that Max is gross? No, she had never met him.

Oh. Did she know Max was with you guys? She texted PFT. She was like, do you have a fat producer? We got a code 7500. There's noxious fumes coming from the woolly Mediterranean man in 12F. It's permeating the cabin. He's already succumbed to suicide poisoning.

The burrito is the part that he can't get away from. Like if he ate anything else, he could be like, it wasn't me farting. But eating a burrito on a plane? The burrito makes everything less true. Yeah. But I'm team Max. I think there's a win for him. Why?

She said cute face. Yeah, at the end. I would rather have disgusting body, cute face, than disgusting face, good body. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's true. Because you can always lose weight. He won't, ever. Right, but you could.

Yeah. Hypothetically, he could fix that. Cute face is the thing people strive for. Yeah. It's genetic. It's like a positive genetic thing. Yeah, cute face is open doors. And he's getting all beat up about this worst thing that's ever happened to me.

She said he has a cute face. Yeah. Girl called you cute. Yeah. There might be something there. I wouldn't. I would think that's funny. I was next to an old lady on the flight, and she started farting.

And so I, just out of obligation, joined in. She was awake? Oh, that's nice. A farty farty. Yeah, just so I didn't want her to be farting alone. No. I feel like she'd feel bad if she was the only one stinking up the plane, so. Did you watch the Grammys on the flight?

I watched the Grammys on the flight. What happened to the Grammys? I got tanked. Can you tell us? What? I didn't watch any of the Grammys on the flight? I watched the Grammys on the flight. What happened to the Grammys? Can you tell us? What? I didn't watch any of the Grammys. So Taylor Swift was very nasty to Celine Dion. I saw that, and then she did a makeup picture, which was kind of, I saw right through that. Yeah, that was soft.

Did she know it was Celine Dion? Definitely, because Miley Cyrus did something very nice with... I'm not using my shoe for your point. It's proving it. Yeah, it's like a gavel type of deal. Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey had a very nice presenter-presentee moment. Yeah. And so it showed that the blueprint was there.

It was possible. But it's like, it's wrapped up for like traditionally hot guys. I saw you say that. It's a wrap. There's not a single traditionally hot guy that has won or can win. Who is the fatso's winning, cleaning up?

Jelly Roll didn't get one. Jelly Roll didn't get one, but he was getting enough screen time. Might as well have got one. Big Mike got one, then Killer Mike got one. Killer Mike got one

and got arrested. He got three. He got arrested. So they're like, we can't let this big guy get one. We're going to arrest him. Exactly. Luke Combs, big guy.

He's getting a lot of... Is Meatloaf still alive? No, he just died recently. Where? Where did he die? Wouldn't be shocked if it was Vegas. Where did he die? Could have died in Vegas.

Could have died in LA. Everyone loved Tracy Chapman. Yeah. He's always said he listens to that song 19 times a day. Really? Yeah. Seems like a lot. He said he listened to the Luke Combs version.

Nashville, Tennessee. Yeah, Meatloaf dying in Nashville, Tennessee. That's good. That's cool, yeah. That's a good life. Was he Robert Paulson in Fight Club? I think it was Robert Paulson in Fight Club. His name was Robert Paulson.

Did they bury you where you die, or do you get... They transport you. They transport in Meat Loaf? They'll ship you off, yeah. That's a big fucking call. Who did a door dash? He didn't travel well. I feel like meatloaf... How soggy.

Somebody clip that for me. Yeah, get that clip. Meatloaf lost weight in his later years, but his name was Meatloaf. Yeah, you got... So it's over. Yeah.

You can never be like, oh, he's looking good. He's a trim-ass meatloaf. his name was Meatloaf. Yeah, you got... So it was over. Yeah. You can never be like, oh, he's looking good. His name's Meatloaf. He's a trim-ass Meatloaf. Yeah. Lean Meatloaf. He maintained titty, though, I believe. Oh, he did have his titties.

Titty's tough to lose. Yeah. Can't. They're always the last to go. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a shame. He died with just tit.

Died with a sexy bod. Female bod. Wait, so what else? What other big buzz news do we need to know from it? Taylor Swift set the record. Miley Cyrus had like this Bonnie Raitt looking hairstyle. She looked like something. Her boyfriend was all quaffed up.

Yeah, what do you guys think about Miley Cyrus? I like her. I like her a lot. She's a great singer. As a performer? Or just in general, like any thoughts that you have. I like, yeah, I like her personality. Her voice.

Spunky. Her speaking voice. Yeah. I'm glad yeah, I like her personality. Her voice. Spunky. Her speaking voice. Yeah. I'm glad she left that Hemsworth. He had no personality. Yeah. Real stick in the mud. Yeah, he's not right for her.

I could see her doing well in an interracial relationship. Yeah. That's what I want for her. Oh, okay. That's what I want for Miley. The first half, the back half. Go on with your bad self. Yeah, does she have the angles needed?

Oh, yeah, maybe not. Maybe not, but she has like a teeth thing. She got the buccal fat removed. Did she? Yeah.

Yeah. It's plaguing Hollywood. The buccal fat? So it's like the... That's like cheek fat. Oh, cheek fat. Like what, the Tom Brady procedure?

Yeah. Oh. That and Ozempic killing Hollywood because when Kyle found out Bryce Dallas Howard was on Ozempic, you were inconsolable.

Not Bryce. Not Bryce. That's like those stupid Instagram ads I get where you just chew on something and you get chiseled jaw. I believe those.

That's big in the male community. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it breaks your teeth. It might. You look hot. That and taping your mouth shut. Mewing. Mewing.

What is that? It's like sticking your tongue. You look hot. That and taping your mouth shut. Mewing. Mewing. What is that? It's like sticking your tongue. You know Rudy's into some shit like that. Yeah. I don't know. Just grow a beard. Just grow a beard and hide it. I can't, bro.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you got one right now. No, it's bad. Titus, it's bad, right? This angle's never getting better. It's all right. You're good on the chin strap. What's bad?

I don't know how to get this. It's like right What's that? I don't know how to get this. It's right around the mouth. I don't know how to get up here. Let me see. This hole right here is good. I'm trying to figure out how to get the Hitler piece. I can't feel that in here. I have a reverse.

I've never been able to grow it. What, the fucking left back? I'm trying to get the Hitler piece. Teddy's got a good beard. Teddy's got the best facial hair for sure. I got the worst beard on show.'ve got the worst beard on show. You've got the worst beard on show. Oh, my God.

Well, Titus has mustache half beard. That's the hot thing. It's a Hollywood stubble. Yeah. It looks like he grew that this morning. He's the inside out dad. I did. I definitely don't have three different razors that I use to.

Really? No, I said I don't. You misheard me. No, you really don't. No, I don't. Oh, no. You heard me wrong. Who is that?

What is that? What are we doing here? Is that Titus? Yeah. What? You look like a... It looks like a fathead. That's full beard.

That's a wigadang. There's full beard, yeah. I don't like full beard, Titus. No. That was back in the day. What was your personality like when you had full beard? Full beard, Titus will yell at you. A lot of...

I don't know. I look like a guy that's into craft beer and MLS, which is probably not that far off in my life. Wait, the one with the Cubs hat is like, that's not. That's fat. That was really cool. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Fat tights rock.

I still agree with him. So much strength. Yeah. You got a lot of different looks, man. I could win a Grammy. Yeah, You got a lot of different looks, man. I could win a Grammy. Yeah, you're fat enough to... What other dudes were winning Grammys? Who was winning the rap ones?

Killer Mike won them all. Or Monday Jewels? No, I think he just had a solo. I didn't even know it existed. So who's the... No dudes were winning. No dudes... Who's the last hot dude to win a Grammy?

Raps. So guys just can't. Everybody has been saying that the dude from One Direction last year, but how dude is he? Niall? No. Harry? Harry. I don't know.

Styles maybe won last year. You want to switch? No, no, no. I'm good. I'm good. I think Will and Taylor are going to come by, so maybe give them the shitty seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is better.

I asked Brandon this earlier. He didn't really have a good answer for me. Are we in the golden age of face tattoos? Like, accomplished people with face tattoos. Oh, yeah. I remember the time when Mike Tyson got his face tattoo. It was crazy. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

And now, you almost have to have a face tattoo to pop off in music. Jelly Roll face tattoo. Yeah. Doja Cat. Did you see her out there? You can't pull it up. She was naked. She gets naked. Were those tattoos face tattoo. Doja Cat. Did you see her out there? You can't pull it up. She was naked. She gets naked.

Were those tattoos real on Doja? They can't be permanent. Can't. But maybe she's just popping out with them. 69. Maybe we should try to get we should spin a wheel for someone to get a non-permanent face tattoo. As a music artist, I thought it was like a meme of some sort. No, that's Nyan Cat.

Okay. That's Iken has cheeseburger cat. Yes. Keyboard cat. Oh, you must be thinking of Colossaraptor. Yeah. But I'm curious how it will age, though. The face tattoo gang. You don't see old people with

face tattoos. Yeah, because you usually die very young. Why did they invent face tattoos? Why did they invent face tattoos? Why did they invent face tattoos? When? Like 2006? I bet you cavemen had them. Dude peppered them along their hairline to try and, I think, flesh it out. But then the hairline keeps on receding.

We've seen this happen to both Post Malone and Tekashi69. So they have to keep on chasing the hairline back with tattoos. I didn't know that that's like barbed wire in the middle of his forehead like a fucking it just keeps curling the barbed wire so i just don't know how it's gonna age for uh all the folks sometimes you'll see an old lady with a tattoo and it's becoming of her but i don't know if it's i don't know if it's all the time when have we seen an old lady with a tattoo it's like it'll be like a meme it It'll be like, why didn't you think you could get tattoos when you were young when this lady looks so good?

I think there's a 95-year-old lady out there with just some balling-ass tattoos. I think that we could find a list of saggy tattooed ladies. Definitely. I want to get a neck tat before the end of the year. I would love to see you in a neck tat. Where? I don't know. In the front or the side?

I know. I'm just kind of peeking up there. Just kind of peeking. A cock chest. Oh, yeah. A cock chest. Yeah. So what would it be?

Hmm? What would it be? I haven't thought about it. I don't think about it until I'm about to get it, as you've seen my body. Maybe like Ziggy poking up. I would love to get Ziggy. Is he the one with the nose that was drooping down?

Hey, who's Ziggy? No, Ziggy. Is he the one that like peers over things? Yeah, Ziggy's always peering. I don't know. Are they talking about a Pokemon? Oh Is he the one that, like, peers over things? Yeah, Ziggy's always peering. I don't know. Are they talking about a Pokemon? Oh, no, no. The guy with the big nose.

Yeah, Ziggy's always peering. Oh, yeah. Ziggy. Wait, was it Ziggy that was peering? No, who's the peering dog? Yeah, that was a real long nose. It was a common dude. Somebody peers.

He had a much longer nose. Over the fence. That's Wilson. You're thinking of Wilson. I used to sleep with a Ziggy doll. Yeah. Like, as a child, not fuck. Yeah.

Ziggy had O's. Is Ziggy funny? Ziggy's just a nice guy. So there's nothing really nice about going on? No, that could be perfect for you. I don't know anything about Ziggy to be honest. What a great comic. It's not funny. He's a good guy.

He's true. It was very clear that that comic was like, I only can draw one thing. We should put out a Yak comic where it's just like a decent guy. No punchline. A Yak comic book that just goes nowhere? Yep. It's just a decent guy. Another day at the office. Morning.

And then it's the end. It's one frame. Would it kill you to buy extra sharp cheddar cheese once in a while? Yeah, that's not funny at all. But that's the mouse saying it. Ziggy is just there. The mouse is saying it to Ziggy. That's a little funny.

Because the mouse's rating is... Are you guys actually laughing out loud to comics, though? Sometimes. Some New Yorker. Far side. Far side's funny. If you laugh out loud to a family circus, your life is over. We did that last week.

We did a fox shot today. We were going through family circuses last week. Did you laugh out loud to a family circus, your life is over. We did that last week. This fox shot today. We were going through family circuses last week. Did you laugh out loud to any? We tried to go through as many as we could before. We were going to stop when we laughed and we got about three weeks and we finally... The punchline in every Marmaduke is that the dog was big, right?

Could be. Oh, yeah. It's like Marmaduke, you knock the food off the table. You know who had me rolling was Kathy. Kathy. I know a Heathcliff man when I see him. Wait, was Heathcliff just another orange comic cat? He was a copy of Garfield, right? Who came first? Garfield did.

Garfield was 78. There we go. Yeah, that's the guy. Yeah, that's who I'm talking about. That's just D. That's Kilroy. Kilroy was here. Kilroy.

Oh, yeah, you should get that. I'll get Kilroy was here on my fucking chest. I thought he had to come out of your neck. But how's he going to peek over? Yeah, you can't peek over. You have to draw the tattoo on his skin flap. You need a T-shirt that has that on the collar. Perfect for Kilroy.

You just buy a T-shirt that you only wear that T-shirt every day. It's a Kilroy neck. Yeah. Ew. What about like some lips on your neck? Like a kiss or something. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Like Daniel Martin. Okay, I'll get that. That's cool. Or some Asian writing. Yes. I saw a billboard for Shen Lum, but not Shin Lim. I saw a Shin Lim.

Yeah, you probably just didn't read it. You don't even know what that is. What did you read for Shin Lim? We saw Shin Lim. Yeah, you probably just didn't read it. You don't even know Shin Lim? We're not going to be here. I made a bit of a boo-boo. And the tickets were insanely expensive. They're going to waste? I could change my flight. You're not changing your flight for Shin.

I think I would, right? This is the exact scenario. He's the master of smoking clouds. It's Friday. Hey, what the fuck are you talking about? I got him tickets for Shin Lim. Sorry. I got him an Atlas

and Shin Lim tickets for Christmas or for his birthday. Great birthday gift. What is Shin Lim? He's the master of smoking cloud. He's an illusionist. He's a great magician. He's a card trick.

We're a magic show now. He's a sexy tie. Yeah, we had January. I thought it was just January that you guys were magic. It's going to carry on. Well, his birthday was in January. Yeah.

Oh, got it, got it. So is he the top magician on the strip right now? He's the top magician maybe in the world. Really? He's next up. Already arrived. By the way, happy birthday to Stephen Che. It was Saturday. Yeah. No, Friday? No, Saturday.

It pissed me off so bad that I saw Elmo being like, thanks for the birthday wishes and I was like, god damn it. That's how you knew. It's Stephen Chay's birthday. You follow Elmo on Twitter. Yeah. Why wouldn't I?

I don't know. Do we have updates from Stephen on the road, TJ? They're in Texas. Why was Frank the Tank crying today? A song came over and reminded him of the 86 Mets. Wait, are you serious? No, it was a song that reminded him of the 86 Mets, whatever song it was.

This is why I'll never be jacked. I just love the storyline of Stephen Chase screwing up all of Frank's grids. It happened twice yesterday. Yeah. What do you think about that? Jenks put me onto those. I do them in the shower.

Onto body squats? Yeah, he is. Oh, how a great starter. What's that movie's doing? Body squats. Just a squat. Oh, was he just scratching? Why did his hand touch his face?

Was he just scratching his face? Yeah, he just... Had an itch? Just an itch in his face. Jenks is low-key maniac. Those are just push-ups. That's like top half push-ups. Is he smoking a ciggy or something?

Yeah, I think he is smoking a ciggy. That's what he's doing. Is that it? There he is. It was because of a song? Yeah. Cry! This is Desperado.

I've never seen Ryan get so emotional. Started crying? You all right? I love that. You all right, big guy? He's letting Jinx touch me. Whoa, he's actually really crying? I love that. You alright, big guy? Whoa, he's actually really crying. He's crying! This is Desperado.

Is he having the best time of his life? He might be. I think Steve is enjoying it too, which sucks. It's the perfect pairing though because I saw them on Saturday at the office and they were like, Stephen doesn't know what he's in for. I was like, no, you don't know what you're in for. You guys could break down and Stephen will smile

in your face. He's got to be the worst person to be on a car trip with. Has there been any freak outs by Frank or anything like that? When he screwed up his grid. He said Corey Brewer played for the Knicks. Stephen Trey's a Knicks fan. I know. It's a big mess.

Huge mess. It might be the Knicks year. Nah. It'd be awesome if the Knicks fan. I know. I know. It's a big miss. Huge miss. It might be the Knicks year. Nah. It'd be awesome if the Knicks won that championship, though. You can't say that. I mean, it'd be awesome if the Sixers won a championship, but the second most awesome team to win a championship would be the Knicks. Sixers just missed that reliable.

They don't have a reliable superstar. I know. Only they have Jokic. Who? Yeah. Two-time NBA champ. But the Knicks would be so exciting for New York. It would be like, it would like unearth like termites, like cockroaches of bad people.

They do. It is fun when the Knicks were, like they were only good for the last year that we were in New York, and it was kind of fun. They were only good for the last year that we were in New York, and it was kind of fun. The buzz was cool. Even if they made the second round. Big bong. People running around.

How's the New York office doing? Incredible. Why, what have you heard? Last week was a tough week. Ohio State just dropped bombs on everyone's face I know but do you guys think

that he should be forced to come to New York I think he has to go to New York for at least a little bit yeah and then is he going to move to Chicago after that I believe so

you do that you gotta do six weeks six weeks a residency too little too little too late like an internship or something will they actually

try to fight him Kelly in what manner it seems like she was ready to leg sweep him. Like she was ready to ground and pound his ass. It would be such an incredible video. Would any of the dudes try to throw a fist a cup? If you walked in and Nate and Kelly just started beating the fuck out of him,

that'd be a good match. He could either do six weeks of passive aggression, or one week and he's jumped in like he's joining hoover crip and they just have to beat the shit out of him while he like named cereals yeah yeah i feel like that's the hoover yeah what is a hoover i always see that uber's it's just i think uh it's a street denomination oh speaking did you hear jerry's story no i don't know if he's comfortable telling it. Jerry, come here. Jerry also sent me one of the weirdest texts ever yesterday. He sent to me, he sent me, we want to hear your story. Yeah, you don't have to tell it.

I was wondering, the one you told me, I thought it was funny as hell. Yeah, Jerry sent me a text yesterday saying, are we hanging out as friends in Vegas or are you there just for business? Let me know. I mean, I don't think that's weird at all. That is weird. What do you think that implies? It implied, it was, I realized afterwards the question was, are you

paying for my meals and gambling? No, no, no. He's up on the line. He is up. We gambled last night. No, I said that because I didn't know if this was a strictly business trip. Like, oh, PMT, Yak, recordings, no time to play blackjack. We played last night.

I know, but that was after I sent the text. Yeah. Tell your story. All right, I have to tell now. That was really tough. You forced my head. Listen to this. I got a cousin, right?

Right. Third cousin? Like a third cousin. Like Joe Rogan level. Well, don't... Don't bring that up. Why? I thought that was...

Yeah, but that's... It's just content. No, but that's... It's a bad look for me. Joe... Is it? Yeah. Jerry's...

Go ahead. You can tell the story. Wait, you want to tell the Rogan story? Well, no, I'm not going to. We it? Yeah. Jerry's. Go ahead. You can tell the story. Wait, you want to tell the Rogan story? Well, no, I'm not going to. We got another story before the story? Yeah. Here's how I best want to explain what Jerry's about to say is Jerry has a very Italian family where he has uncles and cousins

that are not in any way related to him. He once told me he was like, Joe Rogan's dad is my uncle and I was like, so you're cousins with Joe Rogan? And then as he further explained it, it was just some guy he called uncle a couple times. Yeah, also he's a diehard Steelers fan. But we've had Christmas

dinners together and stuff like that. And it's Joe Rogan's uncle? Joe Rogan's father. Joe Rogan's father is his uncle. When he told me that, I was like, Jerry, that means you're related to Joe Rogan. Absolutely. Yeah, your cousin. And then once I dug a little bit further, it was very clear that was not a blood relation. So you know Joe

Rogan's dad? Yeah, we hung out multiple times. And your Christmas dinner, you call him uncle? I don't really call him Mr. I call him Mr. Rogan. He would be like an old ass dude. Yeah, old guy. Yeah, very old, very old. Diehard Steelers. And he also had his other cousin who's not your first cousin. Fuck, Zach Wilson. The hot one.

Yeah, story, yeah. But you can say she's hot. No, this is a hot story. Jerry can say she's hot because it's his, like, third cousin. And this isn't going to be shocking at all to you. Right. Yeah, probably not. But I wanted to just, so people understand, when Jerry says cousin, uncle, there's usually no blood relation.

Exactly. Well, speaking of blood. This one, there is blood, though. Okay. This one, there is blood relation. Okay. Okay, B liked the story this morning. My girlfriend and son went to New Jersey for a couple weeks because traveling, doing this stuff.

Yesterday they had a play date, one of my cousins. My son, my girlfriend, my mom all went to my family's house. Now, my cousin also had a kid with a blood gang member. Okay. Okay? And then they had a kid together. My son was playing with the kid. No problem, fine. We're family, right?

Now, this was the other girl's first son, but the baby father had another kid. His name is Mook. Okay. Now, baby father had another kid. His name is Mook. Now, Mook has another kid with a different girl. Wait, Mook is the son. Mook is the blood. He's the blood, not the son. Now, it was news to me yesterday,

my cousin, who had the baby, she went lesbian. Okay, okay. cousin who had the baby, she went lesbian. Okay. She is now dating Mook's other baby mother. Oh! That is crazy. I love that. And so what's Mook doing with all this? I don't know.

No clue. So they're kids. That's a bad look for Mook. You think so, right? I would think so too. He's used to it. He had two girls leave him, and then they turned lesbians. I like the way you phrased that, went lesbian. Like it's like a guy declaring for the NFL draft. Yeah.

I've decided on a much consideration. It's been a great four years of sitting on dicks. My time has passed. But it happens, though. I'm ready for some vagina. Sometimes they go the other way. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes they go back. They do.

Yeah, and then they come back sometimes. I bet he's amped up about this, actually. Because he, I don't know, because now. Well, they can all hang out, and he doesn't have to, now he can go get another one. That's true, yeah. Now he can go get a third lesbian. But now will they end up being like, hey, let's not be lesbian anymore. Let's go the other way.

Yeah. It's kind of sister wifey. It's kind of Mormon in like a cute way. I bet you he could work something out. I think so, too. I think he probably already has. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I mean, think about it. The three of them, there's no secrets between them. They've all fucked. Exactly. Right. That's adorable, kind of. Yeah, they all did. Art Mormon. And the girls did, too. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if they did for sure. That's what I'm saying. They've all fucked. Exactly. Right. That's adorable, kind of. And the girls did, too. I mean, I don't know if they did for sure.

That's what I'm saying. They've all fucked. Well, if they're dating lesbians, I'd imagine they've fucked. Are bloods, like, full-time? Like, they have to, like, put in... I think so. Yeah. I mean, I don't know much about them. You'd be off the clock. I mean, I was a little nervous, yes,

because I was like, okay, he's going to the house. I know the son, the other baby is, I mean, technically a blood, I guess. The baby. I don't think that's no, I don't think you're born into it. No, I think you have to do. I think you have to do something. Yeah. I don't know if there's like it's not like a sorority. Yeah, true. Baby blood. Yeah. But isn't that crazy? That's crazy. How you just... I can understand stopping, right?

And then switching, but... Like, to go to lesbians. And then you go with the... To go to lesbians. You go with the other baby mother. Right. See? Right.

Can't make it up. Is that how they met? Yes, that's exactly how they met. Oh, wow. Yeah, but now there's also problems now. Oh. Is that how they met? Yes, that's exactly how they met. Oh, wow. Yeah, but now there's also problems now. Oh. You know what I mean? No.

Well, there's got to be problems because now, like, the baby father is probably, like, on the out, like, what the fuck is going on? This is bullshit. Well, I bet one of them is letting him hit on his side. Guaranteed. You think so? Yeah. Courtesy. I don't know.

That's courtesy. I don't want to say that, but out of courtesy, someone's probably... Out of respect, right? Out of respect. Yeah, a respectful hit. And that's tough for you because you're a prick. How many respectful hits do you get in your life? I don't know. One.

Like Bachelor Party is a respectable hit, right? Out of respect. Out of respect. The Bachelor gets... I think you get one respectable cheat, and? Out of respect. Out of respect. The Bachelor gets... I think you get one respectable cheat and that would be Bachelor.

No? I mean, I could be wrong. Yeah, that's... Oldest time. That's the oldest time. All right, well, thank you, Jerry. Great story.

Yeah, great story. Good story, Jerry. Yeah, we'll play a little Blackjack later. Jerry, you up now? I'm up. Because I saw you... I'm going to take a piss. I'm going to take a piss.

I'm going to take a piss. How was poker night? Keep your mic on. I'll keep my mic on. We do one of the ads. All right. I'd love to. We talk about High Noon for a second?

Yes. Is that cool? By all means. High Noon. The High Noon El Pres Pack is here, and it's featuring the top four High Noon vodka seltzer flavors. Oh, my gosh. It's ranked by High Noon, as ranked by El Prez himself. Are those they?

Those are they. Are these they? This is the Prez Pack? That's the Prez Pack. And it's got his face right on the side. Oh, my gosh. And there's a QR code on it. You can scan it, and you can take a picture with Prez.

No way. Yep. I got my first picture with him. Pear, amazing. Tangerine, sublime. Passion fruit, fantastic. But everybody's coming for the pineapple.

Everybody is coming for the pineapple. I have a friend who used to love the pineapple. Oh, really? I remember them. I remember them. They went to the other side side like Jerry's. So the 12-pack's only here for a limited time, so get it while you can. Three of each one. That's a party in a pack right there. Oh, man, I didn't realize they're making 12s of it right now. This is an absolutely fantastic deal.

Look at that. That's a picture of me and Prez. No way. The man himself. Are you taller or is he? I think it's camera trick. I think it's angles. We're in the Museum of Illusion. You're in a fun house. Visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find the El Pres Pack nearest to you.

KB, you're engaging your core this entire time? Was that by choice? No, this sucks. My back is... You want to swap? Fire. No. You requested this spot. Why Was that by choice? No, this sucks. My back is... You wanna swap? Fire, no. You requested that spot. Why'd you want it? Cause I'm like on an island,

less camera time. What'd you hit on the gym today? Nagasaki, the side delts. I've been doing 180 degrees, which people frown on, but they blow them up, as well as a medley of other things, full body.

But that was your... That was the... That was the main course. Yeah, the paramount exercise. Was it... Bites is going hard. He plays it off like he's some casual, I don't do much.

He's a lifter. He's a lifter. His body's rock fucking hard from the look of it. One time I asked him what he did, and he said he just has like some 20-pound dumbbells in his apartment. Nah, he was doing. He's a fucking liar. Yeah, routine, yeah. Jackie was too, honestly.

Yeah, she was going hard on the treadmill. Jackie had a full. She was lifting weights as well. Nice. What were you doing? Not shit, bro. Fucking being a little bitch. Mobility?

No, but the, is TJ out here? Mm-hmm. TJ, the fucking. Yeah, look at him. TJ, the incline on the treadmill goes to 30 degrees. I did it for five minutes, so I was going to pass out. Wait, 30, that's like double, double. 15 degrees is normal.

I do the 15, and that's killing. And this went up to 30 degrees. You were doing that, TJ? I did it on three for like five minutes, and I almost died. That's a up to 30 degrees. You were doing that, TJ? I did it on three for like five minutes. That's a lot for 30 degrees. It's insane. You feel it all up and down your entire leg. I've never seen a 30 degree.

You're like at a full plane higher than everybody else in there. You got to try this. This probably looks ridiculous. What time were you all in the gym? We don't have headphones. They definitely did. Seven-ish. I must have just left. Yeah, you were probably the gym? No, we don't have headphones. They definitely did. Seven-ish. I must have just left.

Yeah, you were probably just out of there because you had to come here. I was getting up at seven for mostly sports. Well, we had the two hours on our side. Yeah. No, not getting up at seven. Didn't the show start at seven? The show started at seven. So you were up at five?

I got up at five, yeah. It was fine. I get up at five every day. Vegas hotels are just amazing. Yeah. I've gotten lost every time day, so. Vegas hotels are just amazing. Yeah. I've gotten lost every time I've left. Who's mic? It's off?

Did you turn your mic off? No. Did you get too far? Maybe they turned yours off because you were peeing. He peed on his mic. Because you were pissing? Yeah. Any of you guys look at menus yet?

Oh, yeah. For tonight? For tonight? Yeah. Oh, I can't tonight? For tonight. Yeah. I love it. Ooh, I can't wait. What's the attire? I'm going to wear a sweatshirt.

Okay. I'll wear something nice. I don't know. I have my fit picked out, but I... I don't even pack anything. I'm a little worried. Why? What are you worried about? It's a piece that I don't wear often.

Oh, it's a piece? It's a, yeah. Vegas shirt? I don a piece that I don't wear often. Oh, it's a piece? It's a, yeah. Vegas shirt? I don't know. It's a shirt I like, but I just don't wear it very often. Because I view it as kind of nice. I wouldn't mind if you dressed up like Elvis one day. There aren't a lot of opportunities working at Barstool Sports to dress up nice.

At all. I don't own nice clothes. No, I brought what I wore for dress-up day on the yak. That's the only dress clothes I have. They're the row-back jobs.

It was great, yeah. So what was the menu looking like? Cassoulet, duck leg confit, sausage d'outilouse. I thought this was a sushi spot.

I don't know. Hey, wait a second. That's Japanese. Duck leg confit. I want. Duck-lay confit. I want to find some duck confit. Yeah. We have to find our added person to the act. We still, the one I hit up is out.

Oh, really? Yes, we need a celebrity. Oh, for the trivia? Oh. We got ours locked. We got a good one. Yeah, we don't have one right now. We're working on ours. I don't want to say it.

I don't want to say it now. I know what theirs is. Jeff D. Lowe will hear behind me and slit my throat. I know who theirs is. Oh, fuck. Well, that's all I need to know then. We got IBM's Watson. Going to do just fine.

Fuck. But they always suck at sports on Jeopardy, so IBM Watson probably doesn't know any sports. That's true. This dumbass. IBM Watson sounds like NLE Choppa. Same realm. IBS Watson. Yeah, Trebek used to clown him hard for not knowing, like, cool shit.

Yeah, he acted like he knew everything. He was kind of. I guess that's just a trivia guy thing to do. Trebek's book was awesome because he was just like, some of this stuff might not be true. It's just how I remember it. That's how every autobiography should be. Y'all ever watch highlights of him saying certain words?

Yes. Him saying French. Genre? Genre, yeah. Genre. He said it like genre. I don't know how you do it. I want to see it now.

Genre. Find it, TJ? Because said it like Jean. I don't know how you... I want to see it now. Jean. Find it, TJ? Jean. Because he's a new Frenchman. Yeah, he didn't make it to... It was one syllable when he said it. It wasn't two. Where's...

He's Canadian. Alex, Quebec? Yeah. He grew up in a mining town. Quebec. He really did read his book. Where did he die? Where did he die?

Almost certainly L.A. Probably L.A. All right, this is genre? Genre. Maybe. We'll get there. No sound. Genre.

Well, you can tell how cool it was. And then him owning nerds is probably a highlight video. Moaning nerds? Owning nerds. Oh. How would you moan nerds? Nerds. That happened in Revenge of the Nerds

when he, well, he rapes her. Yeah, there's a couple movies in that. Ayuk. There's a couple movies that I didn't rape. Did Porky, did- There we go. Honest for four. A genre category.

This genre of art. This genre of novel. This genre of game. This alliterative genre. This fantasy genre. This this genre of novel, this genre of game, this alliterative genre, this fantasy genre, this spooky genre. So good. I like that. I hear him back to back like that.

That sounds lazy. It's so much better. Okay, he walked through with the table. I'll bring the table. We're really not bugging. We won't say anything. That is far more distracting than just walking through. Just go ahead and walk through.

Come on. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. I'm just going to walk through. We won't say anything. That is far more distracting than just walking through it. Standing with it. Just go ahead and walk through it. Come on.

You got it. Get it, get it, get it. Wait. Oh, we're just missing out the table? Oh, shit. I don't know what's behind me. I just threw it. It's a wicker table.

Look at that. And that was our magic trick. me. I just threw it. It's a wicker table. Look at that. And that was our magic trick. Wow. I like the other table. Quick change. Have you guys heard about how rigorous, like, becoming a pit crew member is? Oh, yeah.

That would be awful. Those guys are jacked. Yeah. It's a lot of, like, college- Football. They're probably gassed afterwards. Football. They're like football linemen.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I know one of them played for Bowling Green. I've met him a couple times. He's a pit crew. They got to go through boot camp. Yeah, they're fucking in great shape. Can they drive, too? Nah.

Are they good drivers? No, but I'm saying, do you think that they're good drivers or aspiring drivers? No, definitely not. No, they probably are. No, they're probably too big. They probably got racing in their blood or something. They're too big. They might be drivers who are too big.

They could run different, smaller levels. They do have a backup driver, right? Or is that F1? F1 has backup drivers. It's got to be the best job in the world. Who gets the title? Never have to do anything. What?

In what situation would you need a backup driver? Someone dies. Flu. Then they can jump in your car, finish the race. I don't think it's race to race. I think it's like if you get injured. Oh, okay. Then they play.

Yeah, it's like a backup QB. Every team in F1 has three. If you fail. Jeff Hostetler in 1990. West Virginia boy. Come on, then. West Virginia boy? Jeff Hostetler, for sure, yeah.

Where did he die? He's not dead. for sure, yeah. Where did he die? He's not dead. That's too bad. Where will he die? Back in the day, then he 500. Would you want to know where you would die?

That's what started this whole thing. He asked me, do I want to know where I'm going to die? I want to die in Santa Barbara. Yak's dead, too. You want to die

in Santa Barbara? Yeah, Santa Barbara. Have you ever been there? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Santa Barbara. Where have I been there? That's where I want to die, dude. So I walked around and I was like, I want to die here my lady uber driver had some

very disparaging things to say about california oh the libs i think that i don't know cost of living yeah high taxes taxes the most expensive city i've ever been in yeah everything's cool yeah this is very expensive coffee today that's tall coffee today. That's from Starbucks. And it was $8.75. Ooh. A jar, can, bottle. Bottle of Tylenol was $14.50. A regular size bottle. A little tiny bottle of Tylenol?

A jar of Tylenol? A jar of Tylenol. A toothbrush in the lobby was $9. What the fuck? You forgot your toothbrush? I do every single trip. How? Just forget. I don't like traveling with it. It kind of grosses me out,? I do every single trip. How? Just forget.

I don't like traveling with it. It kind of grosses me out, so I think I subconsciously just don't bring it. It's so easy to buy a toothbrush when you get somewhere, though. Yeah. Not in Vegas, though. It's fucking $9 a toothbrush.

Sin City. Biggest sin is forgetting dental hygiene. They say that the casinos out here by Henderson are way looser. Ooh. They said that the casinos out here by Henderson are way looser. Ooh. They said that the slot machines on the strip are very tight. Ooh. That's just what she says because she's from Henderson.

She wants you to come out here and gamble in her town. Why would she want me to be in Henderson? She sounded like she was a Henderson rep. All she talked about was Henderson. What is looser? Pays out more, right? Yeah, it pays out more and more people get paid. Yeah, but you probably end up losing. What is looser? Pays out more, right? Yeah, it pays out more. More people get paid. Yeah, but you probably end up losing ultimately more.

You think? Give you a lot of wins, losses to Scott. Hey, there they are. Come on, sit on down. How many mics do we have? Yeah, we have two extra mics, I think. Do we have two extra mics? Sit, sit.

Do we have another extra mic? All right, nice. Do we? Oh, you smell. Willie boy. I smell what? You smell good. I smell soapy.

It does smell a little soapy, doesn't it? Did you rinse off or did you just keep the soap on? Clip this, clip this. Get a whiff? Take a picture, you will. Just a little whiff, sir. One little whiff. Why are you putting your head so far?

Put it on your shirt right here. Thank you. Pretty good. This should be fun. Pretty good. All right. Why are you putting your head so far? Put it on your shirt right here. Pretty good. That should be fine. Pretty good. All right. That should be good. So this is the starting crew, the crew that made it to the Super Bowl.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. RIP to the rest. That makes it not awkward. I wish I wasn't. Oh, wait. That was you at the genesis of that awkwardness. I did it, too, to him. I was like, when we went down to do Boston, I was like, so who didn't get the invite?

And there's two guys who got left behind. Where's Delaney? Where's who? Delaney? Yeah. He'll be here at some point this week. Oh, he's coming. Oh, he's coming?

Yeah. Oh, fuck yes. He's coming on. He does a lot of stuff at the NFLPA, so he was already coming no matter what. Oh. Delaney's a good time. I love Delaney. What'd you guys do last night? Were you guys playing poker with

Dana White? Was it a movie? It had to have been a fucking movie. Was there a movie last night, Taylor? Did you do a movie? Entourage-esque. Does Dana live in that casino? It's one of his many casinos. He basically said

I came down to play around a little bit with you guys, but now I'm going to go do the big dog stuff at Caesars. Oh. Ah. The big dog? So you aren't a big dog? No. No.

I was, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not at all. So is that him paying Taylor back for saving his life? Or is that a different, is that just like a little extra? What movie are we on? Yeah, which part of the sequel right now? I don't know if it's like,

and is it like a seven part thing or is it like a three part thing? Hopefully it's like Rocky where there's like infinite sequels. Yeah, would Steve will do it there? Okay, nice. Yeah, there's not a lot of saving last night. Everybody was pretty

the decks were nice. The decks were nice to us. The decks were nice to us. I wish there was a back. You guys engaged core. Probably embedded in the back posture. Bad posture. Look, we're all set.

We're all scattered. This is a beautiful couch. That was a fun night. Should we get a... It's a movie. Should we get a yak party going on at the... Yeah.

One of the lounges? Play some blackjack. What is that in the way? Can you get naked to see blackjack? I've never played it. I want to try it. You've never played it your way? Nick, good to see you. The blackjack. I never played, but I want to try. You've never played?

I love it. Never. Bro, we get that fun. Oh, you know what I want to do? Red Rocks? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Good boys out.

It's a blast. It's a good time. Yeah? Yeah, because you're in this back room. You can bet $25 up to $30,000. What did you do? Yesterday, I did like one hand. What was the side effect?

No, no, no. I was thinking to myself, because I played, like literally I got in. I purposely took the earliest flight out from Nashville, like 625 and landed at 930. Came, ate, and then was on the tables from probably like 1030 till 9 o'clock when we went to bed. Damn. And only one hand? No. I just sat there and watched the cards

and then eventually did one hand. But I like to take out a little bit and just sit and play for as long as possible, even if it's small. But there was one hand. When Dana got there, that's when Dana looks me in the eyes. He's like, what do you want to win?

And it used to be 60, but now it's 30 because I got crushed in August. And that was, there's no coming back from that. Like you just changed forever. And I did two hands and I won. Oh, okay. 150. and that was, there's no coming back from that. Like, you just changed forever. And I did two hands, and I won. Okay. 150. So that was cool.

Wow. Ooh. And Will did, Will won 10. Yeah, I did a little 10. First time. It was a true, like, peer pressure situation with Will. Yeah, it really was. I had to, like, talk him into everything.

Are you guys going to go to, like, the parties and stuff? Are you staying through Sunday? No, I leave on Saturday morning. Oh. Are you going to go to the parties? The parties are, I mean, have you been out to the Super Bowl parties? Yeah. Last year we were trying to go to that Drake thing, and it was.

Yeah. Oh, did you? Terrible. It's miserable. Right. Yeah, it's not fun. You get a pass and you think, okay, I'm in. I'm going to be able to walk in, no problem.

But everybody's got a pass. Right. When do you leave? Saturday morning. We did, we used to do a barstool party. It was one year that it was fun, and then it got bad. Well, the one in Miami got flooded. The one in Miami got flooded.

The one in Minnesota, like, I don't know what happened, but there was a huge line and no one could get in. And the one in Houston was incredible. That was fun. That was the first one we ever did, and it actually, like, rocked. Fieri was there. Fieri was there. Jerry Jones was there.

Dak Prescott was there. Shaq. Shaq might have been there. Yeah, that was a good one. But then, I guess, yeah, we're out on parties. Yeah, we're out on parties. Jerry Jones was there. Dak Prescott was there. Shaq? Shaq might have been there. Yeah, that was a good one. But then I guess, yeah, we're out on parties. Yeah, we're out on parties. Vegas has enough parties. Yeah.

They're also like, it's a losing money proposition, I would assume. I don't know how much, like, none of these parties make money, right? The one in Minnesota was massive. Massive. Is that only barstools? But it was cold, and I remember, I think Greg Olson tried to come, and his table got taken, and Dave was like, this party sucks. It feels like there's an energy at every party where everybody wants to be at a different party.

Right. Every party you're at, you're like, is there a better party somewhere else? I'm wondering how Gronk Beach is going to pull off his thing on Saturday with the weather the way it is. The weather's supposed to be better on Wednesday. We're mid-50s all week. We're mid-50s all week. Are you sure it's time to have a beach party. No, no, no.

I'm outside every morning. Are you staying for Gronk Beach? I'll stay. I won't be here. I won't go to Gronk Beach. What are you doing over the weekend? Probably just playing cards. Love it.

Probably just really investing my time. The sick thought process of, hey, maybe I can make a million dollars sitting here betting $500. You guys don't still get to buy Super Bowl tickets, do you? No. This would have been the year. I got a million dollars? What do you think would happen? It'd be a movie.

It'd be a movie. Wait, you guys would sell your tickets every year, right? You're not supposed to. For face value, whatever you get for face value, that's the most you can sell it for. Face value? Yeah. There are players, not Will and I,

because we're by the book Cats, that you get tickets and then, depending's the most you can sell it for. Face value? Yeah. There are players, not Will and I, because we're by the book Cats, that you get tickets and then depending on who makes the Super Bowl, you can sell your tickets for like four or five times the amount. Did you buy tickets

every year? Yeah, I bought tickets every year. And there are cases where, and I just heard this, like have I actually attended? Yeah. Zero.

Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Well, you know, you never know if a family member or a friend. Yeah, and then in some cases, like I've heard from guys, like they have like these ticket agents that text them, like right when the week's come up,

like, hey, I'm running for this much, that much. So I wish I could have. Heard of that. I guess I don't wish because I'm by the book. Yeah, right. But that's what I've heard. You'd like to think of the idea of like adventuring through that thought process, but stand-up guy.

How many of your family members have gone to a Super Bowl? I don't know. I don't know. Probably most of them. Yeah, if you bought them every year. I mean, it depends on what their 23andMe says. Probably all of them. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's true. We're all kind of family. It's like in the Jamaican sense. Pangea. Yeah. Where's the origin of Compton? I think Africa. For real? Yeah, we're I think Africa. For real?

Yeah, we're all from Africa. My 23andMe literally said... What ethnicity is Compton? Africa. Africa? Like South Africa? I'd have to look up the document they sent me,

but yeah, we originated from Africa. Cool. If you're from South Africa, can you say it? South Africa. I'm asking you're from South Africa, can you say it? South Africa. I'm asking you. I'm asking just you.

Isn't this Drikus? Wasn't that the whole thing of Drikus? What was that guy's name? The UFC guy. Oh, he was saying it? Drikus. He's from South Africa. He's like, I'm the real African.

That's right. Did he say to someone from Africa? What? Izzy. Izzy, yeah. Izzy, right? to someone from Africa? What? Izzy. Izzy, yeah. Izzy, right? Who's from Africa, right? Yeah, he's like, I'm the real African.

They're like in each other's face. Yeah. Kind of a boss move. Old. The one dude is from like South Africa. Yeah, he's from South Africa. But I think no is the answer. You can't say it.

Oh, most certainly not. Yeah, definitely can't say it. That would kind of rock, though, if you're a white guy just walking around being like, I'm African-American. Yeah, you'd have to pull out. You'd have to get a card or something like that. Elon Musk. Yeah, Elon Musk, African-American.

What would that sound like coming from his mouth? Yeah. Is Elon Musk one of them? Don't make me do it. Can we just say that? Only one of us could do a confession. Elon Musk's our favorite African-American? Yeah, definitely.

It's funny because it's Black History Month, not African-American. I'm surprised Ben Shapiro or Whitlock haven't tried that. I'm friends with an African-American Elon Musk. African-American friends. Hey, I saw you on that best rap battlers list. Top 50 of all time. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, my brother. That's big time.

That's big time. That's huge. Huge. What number were you? It was alphabetical. Which you've got to love. Yeah, that's great time. That's huge. Huge. What number were you? It was alphabetical. Which you've got to love. Yeah, that's great. Because I was probably like 49.

Brandon was number one college football guy. Yeah, that's true. And that wasn't alphabetical. No. That was ranked. That was a list of 100, though. Yeah. No payola.

It was the top 100. It wasn't just, I'm sure there's many more that didn't make the list. Were there any snubs on the battle rap list? I mean, there's several people. You always have a gripe. People always have a gripe. And there's two honorable mentions on that list. Ooh, that's brutal to be an honorable mention on a list of 50.

Yeah. Holy shit. I'd just rather not be on there. It's a list of 50 that's not even in order. You could just easily do, these are some of the greatest battles. Remove the number. Yeah, you've got to put it in order. No one would count it.

You could just say top 50 and it would have to be like 65 people. Honorable mention. Say it's oversight. Honorable mention and just for two people. Kind of nasty, but an honor. It's an honor. I'll take an honor. Dude, being the top 50 best at something in the world.

That's true. I don't think there's one thing that I can crack the top 1,000. That is true. No, that's not true Come on, Nick You definitely have, Nick Top thousand You all

You start listing I'm ugly, too No, come on Battle Rap's a finite time period, though. It's like 20 years, 25 years or something like that. Like poker. Huh? Poker?

Poker. Moneymaker? He's got to be top. Who's the top 50 poker players? Taylor, for sure. Taylor. So there was probably some. I never played poker before.

Oh, really? Never. So what are you always playing? Blackjack. Oh, really? Fossil Man. Fossil Man? That guy fucking rocks. Who's that? Never. So what are you always playing? Blackjack. Oh, really? Fossil Man. Fossil Man? That guy fucking rocks.

Who's that guy that has the tattoos all over his face? Oh, yeah. He goes by Akashi. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're back. Face tattoos, dude. It's the golden age. The golden age of face tattoos.

There were probably a lot of great battle rappers back in the 30s that never got their chance. 20s. Yeah, like, what was a duel like 150 years ago? Those were probably battle rappers. An actual duel. Yeah. They probably talked actual duel. Yeah. They probably talked some shit. Definitely.

Didn't Hamilton rap? Yeah. There was an ancient Irish art called flighting, F-L-Y-T-I-N-G, and it was just dudes settling arguments with rhymed insults. Oh, that's sick. Basically the same exact thing. And this is like maybe the 1500s or something. At its core, pretty gay. Oh, writing's sick. Basically the same exact thing. And this is like maybe the 1500s or something like that. At its core, pretty gay.

Oh, writing a poem about a dude? Nick's bringing that word back, huh? Yeah. Well, I was telling Will when we did Busted, I was like, he's clearly bringing the word back. And I like it because every time he does it, it's like, well, he's never been on ESPN. Me? No, him. I know you're not.

No, I turned out to be. I screenshot every single one. When Will's going to try his upward mobility move, I'm just going to send a file. I don't think so. He's with us. Have you seen these tweets? You ain't going anywhere, brother.

You're at the peak. You're stuck with us. The first time I went on Bustin', I said even a nastier version of that. What? And you were excited. You're like, oh, we're going to do this. Like, yo, you don't get to do this.

Yeah. I think it looked just how I just did. Yeah, like, oh. Oh. You got a shiver. It was fun. But it was like, yeah, I don't want to talk about it. I think you can probably soon.

Like get all the way back to it? Yeah. I think the pendulum is fully swinging back. That'd be kind of cool. Very cool. Liberated. Yo, are you hyped for the... We can put out a case race on cut.

Are you hyped for the live show? Thanks. Yeah. Are you hyped for the live show? It's Hank's? Yeah. Isn't part of my take on it, are you guys doing like a live show? No, Hank is doing stand-up comedy for an hour. So he has stand-up comedy out that you can purchase right now, right?

Yeah. Is that the set he's doing? Yeah. No, he hasn't done it yet. It's pay-per-view. It's pay-per-view. Oh, so then you'll get... Okay, I got it.

Are you guys doing a come? When is it? It's tomorrow night at 6, I want to say. 7? So he's just doingper-view. It's pay-per-view. Oh, so then you'll get, okay, I got it. Are you guys going to come? When is it? It's tomorrow night at 6, I want to say, 7. So he's just doing stand-up. You guys aren't doing like a... Yeah, I think we might be doing like a little Q&A at the end, but it's a punishment for our picks all year. So memes is doing...

That's hilarious. Everyone, Hank doesn't want anyone to buy it. I think it's going to be great. Memes has to do with 15 minutes before Hank. Memes is going to read a transcript from an unreleased part of my take interview. Wow. Names redacted. Oh.

Yeah. Wow. Is that the whole? Yeah. Yeah. And Hank, I mean, he's going to deliver some heat. He's more excited than nervous. No.

Yeah. So if Hank sucks, maybe Nick will be writing a lot of jokes. Do you guys do a lot of writing for him? Oh, yeah. The whole set. Nick did. Yeah, if you're laughing. Hank is, he had the foundation.

Yeah, Hank has some very funny stories. Is he going to be reading from like a card? Yeah, it'll be good. But written by Nick. No. Yeah, Nick wrote them all. Writing an hour. Why are you so against it?

Why are you being modest? Because that's... No, it's a compliment when people ask for help, and I don't... No, I did not do anything. It's an evening with Hank. I punched up. It's an evening with Nick via Hank. All right.

It's my hour special. Yeah. About all my experiences in Milton. Hank is just a vessel. Yeah. Hank is my hour special. About all my experiences in Milton. Hank is simply a vessel. So he would write a full story and you'd be like, here's an opportunity for a punchline. Hank had him locked up for

like eight hours. Hostage in that room. I mean, I would too. No, it's... I mean, Nick's good. Top 50. Top 50. Top 50. Top 50 writers for Hank. Definitely. Top 50. Top 50. Top 50. Top 50 Bapsy? No, top 50 writers for Hank. Definitely. Easily.

Top 50 best man speech writers. Oh, yeah. I have the most. Yeah. Have you done Stand Up? Yeah. He was just on tour with Lil Sass in Pittsburgh. Yeah.

Yeah, I've done it. I've done it in Pittsburgh. He said he shut shit down. Lil Sass? He said he got shut down. No, fuck no. He said way better than Sass. That's what they're saying? They were shut down. No, fuck no. They said way better than Sass. That's what they said?

They were saying that, all the Yinzers. Everybody out in Pittsburgh was saying that. They were going crazy. That's the hometown crowd. I don't know, bro. They were saying that you fucking watched Sass. They were saying Big Ben did nothing wrong. I love how they were showering him with compliments and he was trying to react to it.

I hate it. They said Sass was in the green room. They popping his knuckles. Yeah. He was kicking the mini fridge. I applied here to be a graphic designer. I don't want to it. I hate it. I don't know. They said Sash was in the green room. He was like popping his knuckles. Yeah. He was kicking the mini fridge. I applied here to be a graphic designer. I don't want to be on camera. Get me off this shit. Every day is hell.

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It's time to back that ass up with confidence. Hell yeah. The last time that I was with Will and Taylor was after the Arizona Bowl. And we went to a very nice dinner in Phoenix afterwards. Incredible dinner.

We drove up. Incredible, fantastic dinner. But they had a flight at 6 a.m. the next morning. Might have been even earlier. Maybe even earlier but caleb was like this is you guys are about to be staying across or we're eating across from the nicest hotel maybe in the united states of america and so he made them get tickets to or like a reservation at this hotel but we ate at dinner until maybe midnight and then they had to leave for their flight at four in the morning so they stayed at the one with like

that golden brontosaurus? Which one is it? It's the Global Ambassador, I think it was called. And so you guys were there for four hours. Four hours. And it was like a nightclub on the inside lobby area. And we checked in. And then we went to dinner, and we literally said to Caleb,

like, hey, our flight's at whatever, 5 a.m. As we're driving in, like... We need to, like, let's make this a quick dinner, have a good meal, good conversation. And then Caleb... Then we got the seafood tower. Three hours longer than it needs to be. Yes.

Dirty martinis. And that's the worst sleep ever, when you have to get up at four in the morning because you just... You wake up every hour being like, is it time? Is it time? It's like your alarm almost doesn't even matter. Yeah.

You wake up 15 minutes before. Yeah. It's just tough. Is he here? Kale? Yeah. He's probably around here somewhere. Caleb's always somewhere.

I don't think so. But, uh... Or maybe he miss that motherfucker. Kill is always somewhere. I don't think so. Or maybe he is, though. He could be somewhere. Or he could not be. He might not be anywhere. He's somewhere, but he might not be. But he could also be here. It was the day before New Year's, and did they make you buy two nights in that hotel?

They did. They did. They did. They were like $1,400 a night and they're like, oh, it's a two-day reservation. But the guy who was the manager there, I went to high school with. What? And he got it moved, which was nice.

That is nice. That is a nice thing. And Caleb was like, hey, he wanted to go support his boy because he knew the guy opening it up. So I'm like, oh, you got a plug? And he's like, oh, I'd rather just support him. And then we show up. So I'm like, oh, you got a plug? And he's like, oh, we should, you know, I'd rather just like support him. And then we show up there

and I'm thinking, what the fuck are we supporting? What's up with the room? Yeah. It's supported. It was good. It was the most beautiful hotel. There's like fucking

tears of like charcuterie boards in every room. You said you go to Seafood Tower? This was at the restaurant. I didn't stay at the hotel. I stayed at the Marriott next to the airport for $100. I was thinking to myself, we should just stay

the closest to the airport possible. I stayed on the airport ground. I wasn't springing for a four-hour hotel. We had a rental car, too. We had a rental car, and we were like, let's drop this off. It was a big brain thought by us, and Caleb was mad that we weren't just going to the airport. He wasn't thinking about anybody else's feelings. Caleb was going to take us 30 extra minutes the next morning if we don't just drop this off.

We're just going to drop it off. He's like, all right, when do you want me to get this reservation? And it wasn't like the restaurant was still going off. By the time we left, it was the waiters and waitresses staring at us, waiting for us to leave because nobody else was in the restaurant. Putting chairs up on the table. Yeah, making loud noises, like telling us, hey, we're closed now. Like you guys need to leave. Oh, that's the worst.

We were talking New Year's resolutions. That's how it started. Have you hit any? Do what? Have you hit any? Yeah, I've hit mine. I've hit a couple of mine. What were yours?

Read two books a month. No chance of that. Yeah, I promise. What size books? I'll show you. What books did you read? What two books did you read? With Psychology of Money and Your Next Five Business Moves. Okay. I promise. Excellent sized books. You read them? I'll show you. What books did you read? What psychology of money

and your next five business moves? Okay. Are you running out of crayons in your house now? Now I'm on... I don't want to say this one out loud. No, say it. Mein Kampf?

Where's Waldo? No. I saw you put a bookmark in a Where's Waldo. I'll get back to this. Dogger the page. Oh, man. We've been nothing but supportive.

It was a funny joke. I can't support my top 50 comedians. What is the, what's the book you're reading right now? This chair is so uncomfortable. It sucks. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Oh. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Oh. How to Win Friends and Influence People?

Have you been saying people's names back to them? Try to. It's the first thing it says. I was literally realizing it earlier. I still forgot the name, even though I'm saying it back. Yeah. It makes people comfortable. You're reading just the world domination books.

You're just on Gary Vee. I'm preparing for the next Surviving Barstool. I think you're good at winning people over though. Yeah, I think you don't need that. So now you're probably going to act like overly interested in people's... No, no, no, no. I just think like... Winning over people is something you've never been bad at.

Yeah, but I still like enjoy, I guess... Oh, this is for power purposes. No. You're power hungry. Throw me a pillow. Maybe two. I don't know if I can spare one. We might have to do a little bit of a chair.

We'll let you know a little bit, man. Do you want to swap? There's a pillow behind you. I couldn't. I'm by Will all day every day. Those are fake? That's true, but I'm just worried. It's bad for the sciatica, you know, sinking into a couch like this.

I need to engage more. So what kind of shit are you doing to people to try to win them over? Nothing. I'm just, like, reading. I'm just, like, trying to read. You're lying to us. Humility. Yeah, there it is.

Chapter three. I'm like, I've always been interested in, like, just psychology, like human psychology and everything else, so I just enjoy, like, learning about it. What more do you need, man? I'm not, like, trying to acquire anything. I'm just reading. Naval Ravikant, read what you love until you love to read. That's what he says.

Did you learn that in a book? The Almanac of Naval Ravikant. Brandon, that's something cooking up over here in that mind. No, I don't. The Almanac of Naval Ravikant is where I read that. Say that again? Read what you love until you love to read. Read what you love until you love to read? Read what you love until you love to read?

Yeah. So whatever you're interested in. Because a lot of people don't know how to start or anything else. So you love reading about business. Yeah, yeah. I enjoy that. Self-improvement. Yeah.

I like orcs and goblins. My mom put me on Dave Ramsey's book. What's that? Wyverns. That's a good arc reference. Total Money Makeover. Like when I was in college. That's a good arc reference. Total Money Makeover. Like when I was in college. Total Money Makeover.

Total Money Makeover. Oh, yeah. Everybody. Everybody's got that book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with him on that one.

I got that one. Built out of a lot of debt from that book. Don't let these guys bully you. And then from college, it helped me carry into how to spend my money when I was a rookie on practice squad. And then the next year is like all the later years. So I've just enjoyed. I enjoy all that stuff. Do you like absorb it though?

Because what happens to me is every time I read, I'll start reading and then halfway through I'll be like I'm just not even – like my eyes are reading it but I'm thinking about something else. I flap the pages. Yeah. Highlight. You start like thinking about something else while you're reading. Correct.

I just didn't read anything. Yeah. So what do you do? Do you go back and reread what you just read? I'll go back and reread. Do you highlight? Yeah. Wow.

I take notes. Oh, give me some notes. Damn, man. You want to hear some notes? Give me some notes? Yeah. I want to hear some notes. I'll learn.

I hate you guys. Why? Now I can say I read. Here's psychology of money. One of the hardest skills to learn is to get the goalposts to stop moving. Let's see here. Past a certain level of income, what you need is just what sits below your ego. Modern capitalism is good at two things, generating wealth and generating envy.

Whoa. Happiness is results. I'd also say, like, having a health care system that doesn't work. Public school system. It's good at two things. Deteriorating. But'd also say, like, having a health care system that doesn't work. Public school system. It's good. Deteriorating. But yeah, yeah, keep going. Enough is the enemy you will never defeat.

The inability to deny an extra dollar will eventually catch up to you. This is like, there's like Snapple caps. So this is just like, don't be greedy. Can we make graphics like that? Sometimes you got to be reminded. Have you read Grant Cardone, 10X? No, I tried one time. Oh, sounds like you didn't.

I mean, if you start the book, you finish it. But I do bad with the audio books. I tried on his audio, and I just can't get into the audio books. I just do better if Grant Cardone's been on a podcast. I'll do a better job listening to the podcast. And like that yeah 10x everything you do 10x yeah like our interview with you like if i'm somebody who's like you want to get to know big cat a little bit more behind the persona 10x you listen to busting with the boys yeah that's right right he's every 10x yeah we're just doing everything yeah did you do the 10x stuff i know dave did no we did it as a joke

and then dave did it for real and then we bullied him to stop doing it 10x health is like you say you bullied him yeah we pretty much bullied him to stop doing it why he gonna buy like wasn't he gonna go find out like his eight like yeah like a genetic methylation we did it as a joke we actually every now and then jump into grant Cardone's, like, he had the seminars, free seminars. But, yeah, he then, Dave was like, yeah, I found the key to life, 10X Health. And we're like, wait, what? The guy we've been, like, clowning on the last two years? It is.

It's like a brand that goes, I guess, he's just one part of it. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also, he's a Scientologist. Yeah. Grant is? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I can't get behind the Grant thing too much, but Gary Brekka, the dude who does 10X Health, I think he's a genius. You like him? He was on Rogan. He's the guy who talks about the genetic methylation test. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the one that... There's so many rules. He's the 10X guy. Like, you get on an airplane, you gotta eat some almonds and do squats in the bathroom. That's discipline. Discipline equals freedom. Russell Wilson did it.

Yeah, and everyone clowned him. I'll never forget when I was close to signing with Atlanta, Art was like, whenever you fly with us to Washington,

you got to record yourself doing high knees on the plane. I was like, all right, whatever you want, coach. Wait, where did he just sign? Pittsburgh.

Yeah, OC from Pittsburgh. We're open? Kind of looks like you. Yeah, no, I got tagged about 700 times in the tweet. Which is hilarious because the whole group chat started from you guys clowning him because his chin looked like

a tub of cream cheese. The mustache goes a long way for Arthur. The Steeler's tweet looked a lot like you. Yeah. He's lost a little weight. He's gotten in shape. I think so too. I think so too. Art I think so, too. Art had texted and was like, I guess he saw that podcast where you guys were talking about putting the call sheet over his face and everything else. He was like, put me in a group chat with you.

Yeah, and then Will just let us out to dry. He's like, hey, here are the guys that have been saying you're so ugly that you need to. Wait, he threw you in the group chat? Yeah. All four of us. But that's how you're together. We became friends. But yeah, we were like, PFDN were like, you know, like, we don't think COVID is real anymore. But like, Art might want to keep wearing a mask on the sideline, that type of stuff. Oh, that's real mean.

Yeah. Yeah. And then Will was like, hey, here are the guys. You don't want a hot football coach, though. Other than Sean McVay. Isn't he a son of a billionaire? Yeah. Yeah, there it is.

A FedEx guy? Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a great – That's a good angle. Good lighting, good angle. Good jawline. He's got the tongue to the roof of the mouth.

He's got all the tips. Yeah. He looks Pittsburgh in that. Yeah. He looks like a young Russ Grimm. Yeah. He's ready to do it. I think you do want a hot head coach.

Really? They're getting hotter. Give me some examples. LaFleur? LaFleur's hot. McVay's hot. Shanahan? Shanahan.

D'Amico's very hot. Yeah, D'Amico. The horse is good looking. D'Amico's the hottest, probably. Who else is hot? Who's the Panthers hot? I think Stefanski's a pretty good looking dude Oh the Panthers

Hey this is I don't think I mean Thomas got that older male Yeah Yeah but that's what I'm saying Like the gross football coaches Are kind of going out of style Except for Andy Reid

Yeah Andy Reid But Belichick's gone now I guess Mike McCarthy's still Raheem Morris Raheem Morris good looking Hot coaches Yeah hot coaches Yeah I guess Mike McCarthy's still got a job. Raheem Morris. Raheem Morris, good looking. Hot coaches. Yeah, hot coaches.

Yeah. Hey, since the last time I've been on the act, you guys been cold tubbing? You guys been cold showering? I thought about buying one. I thought you had one bought. No, I thought about buying one. I'm still doing research. I sent you everything you need.

I know, I'm reading it all. I'm still doing my research. And every time I'm in the shower, I'm like, oh, should I try it? And and i just don't but it feels good well and i don't know if you're aware of this warm showers are really fucking cool awesome they're the best they feel being comfortable yeah it's so sick oh it feels so good yeah i should scald it dude we relax think about it we had like millions of years where human human civilization was uncomfortable to get us to this point where we can be comfortable all the time. You're slapping your ancestors. Yeah, why would we?

But Alexander the Great would have all of his soldiers bathe in cold water. Oh. Back in the day. Did he have an option? No, they did, because he punished one soldier for bathing in warm water one time. You're kind of cosplaying oppression a little bit. Yeah. Daytime.

Doing what? You're doing an oppression cosplay a little bit, where it's like, wouldn't this be, you know, it's like Gwyneth Paltrow, and she's like, what if I lived on a dollar a week? Yeah. And it's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah.

You know? There are real people that can't get warm water. Yeah, what if I only eat rice? For me to, yeah. And for me to do that would just be disrespectful to them. Stoop to that level? People who walk around with no shoes on. Yeah, I'm done with that shit.

Feel the ground. Yeah, so. No, the gym is cosplaying as someone who has a blue-collar manual labor job. Right, exactly. You're walking on a treadmill uphill because you're sedentary lifestyle. I put my body through hell just for my own personal amusement. Yeah, I'm not into any of that. But yeah, I'm going

to get one. KB, what did you do this morning for? Did you just do it in the shower? Cold shower? That's all I do. I don't have access

to a plunge. I think the cold shower, if it's cold enough, it can be harder because it's right on the scalp, which burns up. Yeah, you look,

yeah. Burns up in a cold way. You got to start moving. What did you boys do this morning? You could buy a trough from, like, a supply company. I'm thinking about

burning some wood. I don't know if it fits. How big are we talking? Plunging his room. What? Every day, boys. All right, I'm coming over your room.

What's that? I'm coming over your room. It's like discovering a second cat. No shit. Yeah, it's literally like a tractor supply company, like metal trough

that they just put ice in. See, I think what's gonna end up happening, how the end of this story is going to go, is I'm going to buy one that's way too expensive, use it like twice, and never use it again. Definitely. And then I'll just have to give it to someone. Yeah. Tommy Walker is going to be cold plunging.

That's pretty, yeah, Tommy Walker is going to have to. And you're probably spot on. He's already got a resource of science and doesn't buy into it. Tommy Walker is like a month away from getting that fucking new Apple VR. Yeah, because I'm going to buy it. I'm going to hate it. Yeah. I think that they look so dumb, but it's so cool. What's the difference of that one and all the others?

Yeah, what is it? You can see through it, right? It's like transparent. Oh, really? Yeah. Can you look at cities? Definitely. VR porn is like what drove VR, I think. Yeah. Me and Caleb, we're in a VR porno at the AVM.

Porn drives all technology. Right, so if you're watching VR porn, you could turn around and see YouTube? Yes. Remember when cell phones came out and they were just making them smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller, and then all of a sudden

you could watch videos on your phones and they started getting bigger and bigger. Everyone wanted to jack off, so they started getting bigger and bigger. Wait, so this is it? Is he in his house? What is this? I don't understand.

He's just walking around his own house? So you can just, like, throw screens up anywhere? Yeah, you can kind of like some Iron Man type shit. I don't see it. You see the screens on the wall? Yeah, so I don't get the... You can put screens wherever you want. You can just put screens wherever you want.

Yeah, but it is... You can pop up, like, different apps and pin them. Does it enhance the viewing experience? Wait, TJ's talking to us, but we can't hear him. Yeah, like, you could put a TV... You can just put screens wherever you want. Yeah, but it's... You can pop up, like, different apps and pictures. Does it enhance the viewing experience? But TJ's talking to us but we can't hear him. Yeah, like, you could put a TV, you can make it this big or you can, like,

pull the corner and it can make it as big as, like, this wall if you want. It's, like, immersive enough to feel like you're there almost. Like, I feel like eventually

we're gonna get to a point where the houses will just be, like, areas that are air-conditioned and, like, all of your other stuff. I'm all for this advancement. I want to start VR retirement homes.

You just throw them in, like, a tube and, like, put in a fucking seating tube and then they're just drugged up in advancement. I want to start VR retirement homes. You just throw them in a tube and put in a fucking feeding tube. And then they're just drugged up in that. That was the Black Mirror. That was the Black Mirror. That was Junipero. I want to do that for hangovers, bachelor parties.

You get to go in a sleeping tube. They put you in a coma for 24 hours. I would rather just do a VR bachelor party. Yeah, that too. We should do that. Why? What rather just do a VR bachelor party. Yeah, that too. We should do that. Yeah. Why? What's wrong with a regular bachelor party?

You got to fly. You got to wrestle with the boys. There's got to be some wrestling. Yeah, you can't tussle in VR yet. Tussle. VR tussling. We're getting a wrestling mat for the new Chicago office the next time you come.

Roll it out, the circle? It's going to be a day stopper. Red and green? I've got to go home. Red and green ankle? No, I didn't know any of the techniques. You couldn't teach me how to... I wasn't technically sound.

Kyle, you could too teach some stuff. You couldn't teach me just the basics? I would never try to tell you what to do. I would switch roles with you, and that would create a problem with the learning curve. What would it sound like if you tried to tell him? I would never be able to tell Mark, no, that wasn't right.

Why is that? I truly wouldn't believe that he made an error. You're not coachable? You just can't see fault in me? I think Kyle is intimidated by me for some reason. It makes no sense. Sounds like Kyle is trying to say you're not coachable. It's more of an adoration.

I love him. Thanks, man. This is real love. Mark, can you get on the mat? I would love to man I've never done it one time Me and Donnie Chef Donnie

He knows Jiu Jitsu The one comment Kyle made about me Was that I have basically the absolute Polar opposite body you would want Tall and skinny. No one has ever had your dimension. Yeah, no one. Oh, until him. That would be funny,

like a Special Olympics wrestling of just tall, skinny guys. We're around with you, Mark. The body you want for every other hobby. Yeah, we're going to... You should definitely, you should end up hosting a tournament. Yes, we're gonna... You should definitely end up hosting a tournament. Yes, I want to.

I did. Sales people talked to me about it. Let's fucking do it. An open tournament? Yeah. It'd be sick. You definitely could do that. Are we ever doing Yakyard Wrestling? Yeah. You're the power behind that. You're the one who's gotta get it going. You're the one who's gotta get it going. I'm in., yeah. I got a ring. You're the one who's got to get it going.

All right. I'm in. Oren, I need a ring. Also, you guys are invited to the Case Race Royal Rumble that we're going to do at some point. Case Race Royal Rumble. Yes. 100 beers.

Yeah. 100 beers, teams of 10. And then starts one versus one. Every 10 minutes, someone else comes in. Oh, yeah. I like that. But it's a surprise for the audience. It's a surprise for the surprise yeah how does it work have you guys figured out how teams are gonna work we're gonna have tj make them even but no one knows so it'll be like oh my god like will's it will's on our team oh my god taylor's in here maybe the teams are even but the entrance entrances are random yeah so like maybe you you're last two are better drinkers. Yeah.

So there'll only be two going at a time? No, no, no. You start 1v1. So, like, you and I would start, and then 10 minutes in, you're like, oh, my God,

it's Nick's music. Nick's on my team. Will, have you ever seen a Royal Rumble? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that. It'll teach you shit in a book.

What are you guys planning for the Beer Olympics this year? Oh, I'm going to that. When is that again? I'm trying to... Do we have a date? I just felt the way you're positing.

It'll be the weekend. Well, I'm just trying to help. Like, International Fight Week. What is that? I think it's, like, June 26th, the weekend. Who? I think June 26th is, like, a Wednesday, but that'll be, like, around the day.

It's a weekend, though. It's a weekday. Is he out here? Oh, fuck. The reason why it's a weekday is because, like, the comedians and all the people that travel from... Can we do it the week before? That's the dozen. That's the dozen. Wait, wait,. Can we do it the week before? That's the dozen.

Wait, what's the date? That's the dozen. June 26th. That's the dozen. That's the dozen tournament. That's the dozen tournament. What is, June 26th? Yeah.

So, Will. And then June 28th, we're all going to Third Eye Blind. What? What was that, Will? You know what that's about? Nothing. Fuck you. No. Will's not bad, dude. Will's not bad. Time slap? No, no, no. Fuck you. Will's not bad, dude.

Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. All that was is what KB said with Mark. That was like an adoration laugh.

I just love seeing Nick deliver information. You don't laugh in adoration. We can't do it that week, though, because Will's already in the finals. I don't know if you've seen their tweets. You know I love you. What are you talking about? You're the best, man. Will will have to figure that out.

The booze points are already the number one team. Number one team. I didn't realize it. They didn't talk about it. How did you earn the number one? You beat the number one. Kirk got the number one, and then they beat Kirk. And then they tweeted about it like they had just won the title.

Well, yeah. I mean, what? Jeff, what do you want? You've got to take advantage of your moment. What do you want us to do? Like, hey, appreciate it. Roan, I had Jeff look it up. How many weeks do you think the Yak has been number one in the regular season?

Not many. 41. Oh, that is a lot. Yeah, I didn't even know. Oh, I thought it was going to be like none. But we got zero championships. We're nothing. Damn. You can't win the big one, I didn't even know. Oh, I thought it was going to be like none. But we got zero championships. We're nothing. Damn.

You can't win the big one. I don't even look at the rankings. You can't either. We're an up-and-coming team. Okay. Like, we haven't been around long enough to claim 41 weeks. What are the match-ups for Thursday? Yeah, do you feel disrespected?

Us against the French? You're not in the live show. You're the halftime show. Yeah, absolutely. I told Jeff. I was like, We might need you Thursday, by the way, because everyone's

canceling on us as our celebrity guest. We also might. Okay. I got dibs. You can have dibs on Taylor. Like, I accept.

Everybody keeps fucking declining us. Like, hey, I might need you. Somebody might come back into the fold to where I won't need you.

But just be on call. Yeah. Matt might come back into the fold to where I won't need you. But we're going to need you. But just be on call. Yeah. Matt Titeo said he couldn't. But TJ Watt. TJ Watt. No, he can't. You try to get Max? He's going to probably win an award.

Max could. Could you get Max? Would Max be good? No, he's probably going to the awards ceremony Thursday. He's probably going to be blunted. He is. He is. He's probably going to be fried.

Respectfully. We need to find someone. probably going to be blunted. He is. He's probably going to be fried. Respectfully. We need to find someone, so it might be you. I'm down. But, yeah, Booze Ponies are on top. I'm not disparaging him being fried. I love, too, that you went and asked Jeff, like, Jeff, how long have we been together? Because I was curious.

I was like, being one in the regular season, like, who cares? 41 weeks. It seemed like it touched you a little bit enough to be like, hey, you guys are just talking about how you won a championship. Well, yeah. I mean, fuck, dude. We just became the number one team. Like, we are combined of, like, three of the dumbest guys.

Brandon, back me up here. Brandon hasn't won a live event. No number one team. Brandon hasn't won a live event. This is an hour and a half now. Kirk did as well. Kirk pulled a mincey. Well, so, like, you're not really winning as much as other teams

shooting themselves. Oh, I can't help the team. Champions don't beat themselves. No, it was last year. You won Phoenix last year? Yeah, we won Phoenix. Yes, I have the Razor Canes MVP jacket. What are you saying?

I have two MVPs. I thought you had something to say. Nah, I'm just in hell. I think we beat y'all, too. We beat you. That's one of our two losses. Gang of points. I don't disagree that it's a wild way to kind of do the whole ratings thing.

Because you guys are undefeated, right? Yes. And so is what, the Frankettes? No, we lost one. All I know is losers talk about being number one in the middle of the season. Yeah. That's a fact. Okay.

That's a fact. Okay. That's a fact. So you're saying. It's like, for instance, like the college football playoff polls. Like if you're someone who's like, oh, the first one ever was the number one team. That was my team. That's all I can hold on to. You'd be a loser. First of all, that's a big fucking deal.

You're talking about the history of college football. The history of college football, only one team is the first one to ever be number one. And that's really all that matters. That's more important than the national title. I think of the dozen more like the WWE. Like, we have the title right now. You don't. No.

You don't. Yeah. You went all the way to say 41 titles? Yeah, 41 weeks. Oh, all right. You guys have held it for 41 weeks. Yeah, you know what? Congrats.

Fuck yes. I'll take that. 41 rings. Incredible. Fuck yes. I'll take that. 41 rings. Incredible. A shitload of rings. We're top three in fan vote. Yeah. Speaking of rings, by the way, Steven Singer Jewelers.

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She still has it. She loves it. It's her favorite rose. Yeah. No Beauty and the Beast situation with this rose. That beast is staying a beast forever. Yeah. Or how did it work in Beauty and the Beast?

When the... When the last petal... You have to... You have to... Find love? Yeah. You have to fornicate with the beast. How do you know? The last petal dropping, or else to fornicate with the beast how do you know

the last pedal dropping or else the beast no the beast has to fuck a woman that's what it was the onus was on him fuck or kiss no he has to fuck

the beast has to fuck the woman before the pedal the last pedal drops or probably kiss it is a children's show was there a sex scene I mean it's based on

like an old like gnarled tail like a fucking they dumbed it down to be a children's show. Was there a sex scene? I mean, it's based on like an old, like, gnarled tale. Like a fucking... They dumbed it down to be a children's movie. But it was definitely fucking weird. Did it get canceled or... Yeah. Was there controversy?

Was it bestiality? Has that been revisited? Like, this is... It was... Is the bestiality of the beast... Imprisonment? Yeah. Yeah.

I thought the bestiality is you fucked an animal. Yeah, if the dog fucked you, it would still be bestiality. Did the beast... The horse? Imprisonment? Yeah. Yeah. I thought bestiality is you fucked an animal. Yeah, if a dog fucked you, it would still be bestiality. Did the beast imprison Belle and rape her? Man in Seattle? Oh, yeah, there might have been

something like that. There was rape in that movie. Yeah, wait, was she a prisoner? Yeah. Or did she just run away from Gaston? Don't you guys remember

when the horse killed that dude in Seattle? Yes. No. Yeah, it tore his insides out. Oh. That was Mr. Hands, right? Oh, was that? Isn oh was that like saint catherine of siena didn't she also oh or one of saint catherine maybe not that was going around in 2007 oh horse dick you guys look

comfortable over there yeah just hanging out or hanging out. From that angle, it looks like... We can do the wheel. Imagine rolling over and seeing that every morning, Kyle. We can do pro football, football show. If only. By the way, tomorrow I want... My daughters, dude. Will's wife actually got me these for Christmas.

Oh, I just noticed that one. You rock the black vans. You rock the black vans. I rep the black vans. Tomorrow on the show, I want everyone to come with one college basketball pick, and then I'm going to put them all in a parlay for $1,000, and if we hit it, we'll just split it all. Michigan.

Michigan plays Wisconsin on Wednesday night. Michigan's terrible this year, right? Terrible. Are you going to be on the show? Horrendous. That could be your pick. I'll come on the show. You can be on the show? Horrendous That could be your pick Yeah Come on the show Yeah come on the show Make a pick Or you don't feel like

Coming on the show Do like a 17 parlay You gotta make sure The rest of the show I wasn't saying that You gotta I'm snagging that TJ you want to spin the wheel?

I'll make sure We have a pool here Yeah Okay And it is cold outside Yeah There's a sauna out there Or is it a temporary face tattoo?

Ooh We're good. Thanks for the master. All right, well, Will and Taylor, thank you. You guys are welcome anytime this week. We'll be here same time. Anything else? No. No?

Sounds good, man. This was our best Super Bowl Monday. By far. Oh, yeah. By far. We've usually totally screwed. Are you flipping your Super Bowl? What are you doing? Nothing yeah. By far. Crush this. Pretty well. We've usually totally screwed. Are you flipping your Super Bowl? What are you doing?

Nothing. What are you doing? He's expressing love. I love him. KB said he loved Titus earlier, and Titus said thank you. Yeah. Not I love you back. Dude, I got KB a birthday gift, a mystery box, and people are like,

does Big Cat kind of love KB? He's like, fuck yeah, I love him. Yeah. Fuck. You love him back or thank you? KB, I's like, fuck yeah, I love him. Yeah. Fuck. You love him back or thank you? You love the boys? Yeah, I love you. I love all my boys. I love you, dude. I love you, too.

We're eye contact right now. It's love. I love you. I love you. I love you, Will. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Will I love you Tell Titus Tell Titus I love you

I love you He knows I love you Hey Mark I do love you Appreciate that brother Like I know you're pissed off a lot But I do love you And I appreciate you

Appreciate you brother Alright See everyone tomorrow Good yak Thank you everyone Yeah Brandon We love you too Appreciate you, brother. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Good yak. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, Brandon, we love you too. Yeah. See you guys tomorrow. Bye.