The Yak - Will Compton Joins And Gives An Interesting Take On Wiping | The Yak 6-29-22

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ho! It's Nick. Oh, fuck. What's Big Cat's yak? Hey-o. Whoa.

It's the yak. It is like kind of a chief wahoo. I think it's actually racist against Native Americans, what he does every day, but I let it slide. Hey-o. Hey-o. What is, what's your sign on, do you still do the, what is up everybody, welcome to Son of a Boy Dad? Yeah. That's your sign, is you still do the What is up everybody Welcome to Son of a Boy Dad Yeah

That's your sign Is that what you just Was that intentional Or like Is that what's gonna be Your sign on We workshopped it a lot Did you

It took us a long time To come up with I don't think we have one Cause you guys have an intro Yeah you have a song Yeah Shout out to fucking Nico Where the fuck has Nico been bro

Nico's a Fucking douche bag Is he I feel like you mean that No I love Nico Yo Oh it's Kate Yo

Yo Dude Owen you're racist against natives Specifically the Seminoles Mm-mm Yeah you are Sylve was a Seminole Wait what tribe was the Cleveland Indians named after?

All of them? Really? Yeah. That seems inclusive. It was. It was an attempt to be inclusive. That's inclusive. I don't think that it's as bigoted as people made it seem.

But they got barked off the ball. I guess it's not my call. Where the fuck is everybody? I don't know. Also, I misspoke. I knew you said that every time because I listened to your show. I just didn't know if you did it intentionally as an intro. Oh, now I do. Now that every time because I listened to your show. I just didn't know if you did it intentionally as an intro. Oh, now I do.

Now that's how we started. But before, I don't think we had an intro in the meetings. We didn't have a name the first three episodes. You didn't? No. Remember we recorded the first three episodes like two months before they came out? Oh, yeah. Fucking incredible lore.

We recorded the last episodes as well. Two, I think. Holy fuck, dude. Those will never fucking come out. Hey, what's your intro for Zero Block 30? Do you have an intro, like a couple words that you say so people can Pavlovianly know it's you?

I don't know that it's us. Welcome back to another edition of Zero Block 30. That's it. We don't have... What is the sound of that? Let's get Boy Dad a theme song right now. Let's go to the public domain. I think you guys should just do a Wilhelm scream. Have you guys

ever heard the War Dog one? War Mode intros? I was just listening to War Mode on the way in here. What is it? I listened to like... Go ahead, Owen. Do your Native American chant.

Oh, I have a surprise. War Mode intros are amazing. Go ahead, Owen. Do your Native American chant. Oh, I have a surprise. Ew. Ew. The War Mode intros are amazing. It's different every week. What is the War Mode intro? War Mode is guys from Philly who are, you know, they're just regular dudes, curious, open-minded dudes who have gotten to the bottom of shit. I recommend listening to it. They're deep into QAnon.

Okay. But, I mean, I They're deep into QAnon. Q's coming back, though. He just posted again. Exactly. Q is actually coming back. What are you drawing? Keep your eyes open. Hey-oh. It's me, Q. What if Big Cat is Q?

Might be. What if that's the surprise he's bringing in? I have a feeling this is the floating glass The floating glass What is this Floating glass What is this I mean it's all we've been talking about man

It's a yak thing you wouldn't understand It was one of those days where I was just On my bullshit Where I was just buying random shit online And this finally came. Oh shit, we gotta plug it in. Oh yeah, it's awesome. Here's Will. Will's here. Will!

Will is coming. Oh my god, he looks thirsty. He does. Oh my god. He's here. How you doing? Oh! He napped. Will, what time was your flight this morning? Ran here, brother.

He's ready to go. He's up at sunrise. That's some good ass merch. He almost popped the... I woke up and it was like you were already in the air. You were running. You were running on the plane? Flying back tonight. We're getting so drunk today.

We're getting so drunk. There isn't electricity in the air. Really? You can feel a zazzle today. I'm excited. I can't tell. It's going to be very fun. Yeah, happy to have you. You really came through in the clutch.

Where were you just at? Like tight end university or whatever? When it all through in the clutch Where were you just at? Like Tite End University or whatever? When it all happened? No, where were you this week? All the pictures you were posting from Or those later grams? I was like, those are later Later grams

Yeah, later I had them in the photo album I had to get them out there Before we get too far removed Facts How was TU, bro? You learn anything out there? You know I mean, nothing

Nothing route-wise That I could really understand that they were talking about. Mentality-wise, though. Mentality-wise, bro, they do it right. I will say that. Big shout-out to Bruce Kittle, George's dad. They do, like, this worksheet. Dudes are standing up saying what they want to get out of it. And it wasn't, like, some bullshit answers on, like, I want to get better at my route running or the top of the route.

Like, dudes were up there, like, yeah, I want to understand what you guys do when you have a bad play and your mentality to get over the hump because I struggle with that. Why don't other position groups have things like that? Why aren't there cornerback camps where all the cornerbacks get together? I saw them tweeting saying that they would, but a lot of guys say there's too much ego in the cornerback room. Yeah, that's what I heard.

There's too much ego. O-line does it. They have. O-Line does it. They have, like, an O-Line masterminds. But I think, like, you need guys like George Kittle, Greg Olsen. Honestly, I don't know how much Travis does. Shout out Travis. I'm big. You love Travis.

Sounds like you don't. Fucks. He's the man. Fucks. Dude, he can't stop. But, like, he shows up, and, like, he's like a pretty face that goes with it. Like, he's't stop. But, like, he shows up, and, like, he's, like, he's, like, a pretty face that goes with it. Like, he's part of the trio. But Kittle and Olsen are, like, dudes who, like,

want to put that stuff together. Like, you need guys who, like, want to, like, be creative about it, think it up, like, want to put stuff together. Let's get in this hotel. Like, let's do a gift. Oh! Holy car, you interrupted your team.

You ran. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Look at it. Wait, what? Shit is floating. It's immediately worth it. Look at that.

Shoot that. Put water in it. Put water in it. What the fuck is that? Look at that. What type of sorcery is that, dude? Sorry, Will. Oh!

Oh, my God. I bought this like two weeks ago, and it finally came. Holy shit. Look how much water it's holding. Oh, my God. You got to get it flush to the camera so they can see. Your son's going to love that. You should have to drink your beers out of that tonight.

Somebody should. Look at that. Somebody has to drink out of that tonight. It's hard. Oh. Are you ready to go tonight? Yeah, I'm fine. I feel like really fine though.

It's so much more convenient than a coaster. I know. Put the water in it. I feel like the possibility for electrocution is high with this thing. You have to empty it and then try. It might come with a spacer

so that it doesn't snap. That's what my helmet did. What do you mean? Oh, a spacer? It came with a little plastic spoon that's supposed to separate it correctly. DJ, how... Rona has a little plastic spoon on him. to separate it correctly. DJ, how are you? Rona has a little plastic spoon on him. Yeah. I don't go anywhere with that, especially today.

It's PED day. Oh, yeah. Will, I'm sorry. I'm filled to the brim with it. Fine. We were getting a little too professional. I was getting in the moment. The passion was oozing out of me.

That's surf and turf talk. You were going for it. Yeah. Like my eyes. I'm not on surf and turf. Yeah. You could get that listening to Stephen Che and Willie Cologne. The entire table should be made of that.

Can you wave your hand under it? Yeah, it's back. Where's KB? He got an apartment. He's going to sign for it. He's been homeless. Really? Yeah. Where's he been sleeping? I don't know. I thought he was sleeping on your couch with John Rich.

Oh, just John Rich. I opened up my doors to John Rich and then he blogged that I have a small couch. Fuck you, John. That is very funny. Little did he know, he slept on my couch on my birthday, and my birthday gift from my parents was said couch.

Double insult. Did he even tell you happy birthday? He didn't know. Hey, what a fucking idiot Nick what was your best birthday gift? Ever? No no this year That was the only thing I got We're on the yak

And nobody from the squad gets Nick something The floating glass maybe His love language isn't gift giving. He hates gifts. He likes quality time. So I'm taking him down to a pot-type birthday being known. I didn't say thank you

to anybody that wished me. Oh, and humble over there. Well, I'm glad I didn't tell you then. Thank you. Thank you, Will. That was kind. A little bit of a surprise. How do you guys feel about your team chemistry? I didn't tell you then. Thank you. Thank you, Will. That was kind. A little bit of a surprise. How do you guys feel about your team chemistry?

I haven't really seen you guys bowling that much previous to this. Well, that means you just don't watch us over there when I've been on the yak a couple times. You guys have secret chemistry. There's a palpable energy. Sometimes we'll hit the... Oh, yeah, a little side. Yeah, a little side kiss.

You guys just kiss each other? No, we prepped in the DMs last night. Oh, you guys are such close friends. You DM. Oh, we can't trace it. Yeah, that's true. You did it on DatChat. Ron has my shit tapped.

Download WhatsApp, dude. We got to chat. Figure out what face paint we're doing. Don't want it to leak. Do you guys figure out what face paints you're doing? We figured it out. Yeah. Jane wanted to do Post Malone, and I told him I'd do Carl Malone,

and we'd be the Malones. I like that. I'm going to be Jimmy Kimmel as Carl Malone. That's fair. White guy as blackface. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blackface. Because there's going to be like a white ring.

There's going to be beige paint around. That's Kimmel's skin tone. And I'll be doing a Kimmel Malone the entire time that's a smart move I really don't know what I'm going to do though after the last time do you guys have game plans though for like how you're going to drink how you're going to win I'm going to eat before yeah that really fucked me up last time we were all no, we shouldn't eat any food today. You have to be careful about what you choose to eat, too. I was wasted after like two drinks. I need to find one line and repeat it the whole show. Yeah. That's a cheat code.

Oh, yeah. Are the returning... You guys won last time, didn't you? No, technically the Boots won, but they cheated. They cheated. We won. Yeah, because you guys were about to, and then they finished. They drank during the timeout. And then they turned the cameras back to them.

Yeah, and they also drank less beers. Right when you guys were about to go, they're like, nope, it's over. Yeah. Well, no, we were like. They were victory lapping. They were tortoise and the herring. And they also waved it to the crowd. It was dumb because we were like.

You guys should have just finished it, though. No, we finished. No, but you guys were like toying. You were like, hey, guys, check this out. And as you were doing that, they finished right ahead of you. You're like a receiver about to go to the end zone, and you start walking. We dropped the ball to Sean Jackson.

It felt cool at the moment. Also, give them less beers because they would have to produce. Yeah, they had less beers, but they just didn't produce. Dirty? Yeah. Now that doesn't actually make sense. What I was going to ask is, are we getting the returning of the Joker?

Yeah, it seems like, yeah, we'll see. And the Warrior? Oh, wait, and Horny Batman, Joker and Batman? Oh, wow. Shit. Horny Batman would be something else. Hey, that would be funny. Yeah, I'm excited. Did you see the guy on Idol, Horny Batman?

No. The first guy. Nashville guy. He got kicked off. Nashville guy. He's a guy I learned about. He's a lot of horny. Uh-huh.

He's Horny Batman. And it was really good, and then it got bad, and then it started to get good again. And now it's good again. And now it's good again. Now he's a cult class. I would rule. People will remember it forever. Yeah.

Horny-ass Batman. It did. Like, when you think about it, the whole Barstool Idol week, I remember N. Yeah, people will remember it forever. Yeah. Horny ass Batman. When you think about it, the whole Barstool Idol week, I remember Nadeau and I remember Horny Batman. That's it.

And Clemmer with the Batman. Being called Big Yak was good. Oh yeah, by the guys. He made it through like three rounds

and he didn't know any of our names. Brain damage guy. That still is making that whole encounter made me uncomfortable. Yeah. Still thinking about it.

The Barstool Idol, did it live up or exceed your guys' expectations? I thought it was good. I mean, I thought it was a great week of content. It was good. It's way more exhausting than I think any of us expected to, like, sit there and judge people and judge their, like, dream job. It sucked. You can't, like, not pay attention because you're like, this is very, very important.

Right, right. You know what I would love if we did for the next Barstool Idol, if we had to be exclusively former athletes. Oh. All competing to get, like, a job podcasting about their sport. Whoa. So it's like it could be college athletes, it could be pro athletes, but I think a lot of guys would want to get into that space, especially getting in with Barstool. I like that. I feel like it would be college athletes. It could be pro athletes. But I think a lot of guys would want to get into that space,

especially getting in with Barstool. I like that. I feel like it would be fucking sick. I also would love to just do a Barstool Idol exclusively with the wheel. It's like a 20-minute episode. Yeah, that would be awesome. We just decide our next coworker via wheel. Just off the wheel.

Off the wheel. I want to do one that you have to be sub-500 followers. Maybe sub-1,000 followers. I like that. Plus 500 pounds. Yeah be sub 500 followers, maybe sub 1000 followers. And plus 500 pounds. Yeah. Over 500 pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be one of the two.

We have to guess which one. You have to weigh your followers. Yeah. To weigh the exact amount that you have as followers. Yes. That would be cool. Does it? It's a question for the man.

You can partake too if you want. That's okay. Does it get difficult? Does the line get a little blurry with the good looking chicks that try and come in on the Barstool Idol? No. They don't have a problem with me. Love that answer. We're going to pounce on them?

No, no, no. I'm just saying. Maybe you're sitting there thinking like you're getting a little wooed. It was difficult for KB because he did ask a gender fluidity question. We handle it like any big business would. Like one of us called dibs and then we were in. Respect the dibs. They don't treat me like I'm hot at all.

Is that what it is? They treat me like a normal girl. I will say you guys are here now, but somebody on this show has dibs on you, Kate. Why you guys you work in a warehouse With like 75 dudes You ever have to deal With that problem Yeah You don't have to even go

No girls are even allowed Within a mile of the warehouse Have you had any Females on the bus Sean Johnson So just one With a girl With a guy name

A name Two guy names Erica So yeah So you were like Sean Johnson I do one a year Erica found out It was a

A female when she showed up Yeah Yeah we'll do Sean Johnson What the'll do one a year. Erica found out it was a female when she showed up. Yeah, we'll do Sean Johnson. What the fuck? Wait a minute. We do one female a year just to save face. Yeah, that's smart. That's smart. That's really smart.

I wanted to say that. That's genius. Wait, did Erica come on the bus? Yeah. Did she say anything about Sass's race? Yeah, did she say anything about me? Yeah. No, I don't think so.

How long ago was that? This was in April, maybe? March? Oh, damn. This past year. I got to be honest, this was a real big waste of $200. Really? No way.

That's incredible tech. I don't know. But it's like once you pick it up, you can't put it back. I've done everything. Yeah, I've done it all. I drank out of it. It should be there every day, though. It should be there every day.

We should put it on Brandon's shelf. I'll say this again. We're out at the bar. It's 2 a.m. A guy's like, come back to my place. And this is swirling on his counter, and he delicately pours whiskey in it. That's true. Like, we're heading to finger blasting.

He has one sip. Immediately. Immediately. Not fast, though. Yeah, exactly.. Immediately. Immediately. That's it. Yeah, exactly. As long as he doesn't touch it. Then he has one sip and goes to put it back down, and the pitch just blows. Yeah.

Wait, so TJ, are you okay? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. That was a resign. I wasn't fine until like 10 p.m. last night. Jeez.

TJ took one for the team yesterday. He did a monster rip. The wheel decided monster rips. So Ronan TJ had to do monster rips. I never saw the videos of that. They did a bong? I did, yeah. They're really underwhelming videos for the result.

Can we play the video and just put tobacco in quotations? That would be a lie, Seth. So no. I think YouTube has a pretty staunch anti-lying policy. But, dude, I smoke weed a decent amount and it turned me into an absolute zombie. I gave no performance yesterday.

I brought nothing to the table. Oh, you had that joke at the end? No. It wasn't, no. That was really a pity laugh. It was like in Major League when that guy has a seeing eye single and the manager's all excited.

You're like, you're excited for a seeing eye single? Maybe it's time to cut it. No, I wouldn't get down on yourself like that because it's like people start to figure out, oh, he's high, and then you just come with something later. They gave me an excuse. I had a built-in excuse. I just don't know how the show went

because I had my eyes closed for the last probably half hour. TJ puked in the booth, dude. He puked in the booth. It was crazy. Oh, God. Hey, we took you off the wheel. We wanted to protect you. Thank you.

Would you have liked to partake in something like that? I would have. I probably would have had to get a babysitter. Yeah. Well, it was more of those things that, like, when you don't opt in to that part of the wheel, like, when you're here, you're on the wheel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would kind of suck if we were just like, hey, Kate, you got to go get a hanging wedgie. Like you didn't get to see it, the wheel or anything, but now this sucks for you. As long as I'm in this room. Yes. I'm holding on tight to the end. Speaking of which.

I'll do anything for that attention. Should we spin the wheel? Yes. I suppose. I had to anything for attention. Should we spin this? Should we spin the wheel? Yes. I suppose. I had to give a speech to the interns today. That was weird. What? Under what circumstances?

Is it a real, like a good one? It was a lunch thing, and they did a Q&A. What were some of the best questions? One of the guys was just like, how do you manage your time with your kids? And I was like, you're 20. Why are you asking me this? I did an interview for somebody's school project like a couple months ago.

And I was not good at it. They probably got like a D. Was the lineup Erica, you, Brianna, and Michael Greer? And Hank. Okay.

Greer? Greer was giving a speech. Is there a video of this? I don't think so. That would be awesome. That sucks. I'd love to see Greer's speech. They can't speak to my college class when I was in college.

Oh, that's right. I did speak to your college class. Yeah. That was kind of cool. It was very cool for me. Where was this? Did he do good? It was on Zoom.

Rutgers, yeah. I was going to say, where was today's speech? Oh, upstairs. In a conference room? Yeah. What was the gist of what you said? Literally, I was like, I don't have a speech. Just ask me questions. You should have asked me questions.

And then it got to the point where it was like there's a couple people like, hey, what's the deal with moving to Chicago? Can all of us come? And I was like, what? What's your relationship with your dad like? Yeah, I was just like, oh. There's some good questions, though. You should have just thrown like a Joe Rogan inspirational YouTube video

and be like, everybody just take the watch this. I'm going to eat your pizza. 10X would have been. Yeah, they got three pizzas for like 40 inches. That was a little. That's wrong, dude.

That's you. That's a retouch. That's bringing the intern Coleman to Chicago. But yeah, we're going to have to order pizza tonight. That lucky pizza delivered.

Does it have to be pizza? No, it doesn't have to be. I thought we're getting Burmese. We'll ask for it. Some of us will go hungry. Some of us will win food, is what I've heard. What?

Oh, that's the end. Okay. We should get some pizza because that was kind of a key. You know what my performance enhancing drug is? Pub Mix. Oh, Pub Mix. Not that performance enhancing drug is? Pub mix. I'm gonna get some pub mix. Not that makes you drink

like some pub mix. Just a little short pretzel rods in there. Like when you have the pretzel rods and like fucking, yeah, there's nuts.

The old little Frito-Lays at the bottom. Like the pumpernicole for circle pretzels. Pumpernicole. Pumpernicole, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

Pub mix. You go into the bar, there's like a little thing that everybody has put their hands in. Like a pretzel and like a little tiny off-brand Dorito. Makes you want to be in a wooden bowl. Kat, do you have a rack out for the delivery man?

I'm going to have to pay him handsomely. Yeah, yeah. Lucky man. He doesn't even know who he is yet. We don't, yeah. If it's a woman. So much. Yeah.

It's true. 75%? How funny would it be If there was just a bunch Of delivery dudes Just like hanging out here Yeah Waiting to get called in Yeah

All the Uber Eats guys Are trying to guess What restaurant The lobby is just packed With Uber Eats dudes Will we're gonna do A slap wheel too Yeah

Yeah I heard You ready for that Oh yeah Okay I'm afraid Will could Actually like break Someone's neck Yeah exactly Well I heard. You ready for that? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm afraid Will could actually break someone's neck. Yeah, exactly. Well, I heard it's you give one and you take one.

Yeah, right. So it would be a little bit more fair. Because before it was just give one. Yeah. I think it depends. If you're first or second, obviously, somebody swings hard at you, what you're going to do to retaliate.

You just don't want Roan going second. He's going hard no matter what. I've never gone hard. It's good to know. I've never gone hard. I slap everybody. We'll hit our preparation. And then also like how competitive it's getting. Are we trying to take somebody out? Are we trying to eliminate them?

Are we trying to end someone's life? Depends on how they're drinking. Gillis is putting them down. He's going to eliminate them from the competition? We're trying to end someone's life? Depends on how they're drinking. Gillis is putting them down. He's going to knock them out. Sass has been drinking fast enough. He warned me that he's probably going to decline the slap wheel. Yeah? Yeah.

Why? He just said he's probably going to turn it down. Is Shane kind of a diva? Yeah, is he a diva? Like he's had a lot of demands. His demands were that we'll fly here. And that we do random teams. Doesn't he know it's a stranger's birthday? Yeah.

Come on, Shane. Alright, we'll get him to slap. He'll be slapping. He'll slap. How can he not slap? How can he slap? How can he slap? Alright, spin our wheel. This would suck if we have to do something. Fast would kill us.

24-hour fast. It's not starting now. Oh, we'll have to start it when we come back. I don't know. I think it starts now when we eat tomorrow on the yak. All right, here we go. Spin it. No, because it includes beer.

Will, when do you leave? There's no exceptions. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 11? That's solid. That's solid cushion, though. It's good.

That was Emma's disaster. That was very close to disaster. You don't partake in marijuana, do you, Will? Depends. Don't fall for this. Are you talking to retired Will or year 10 Will? Have you ever been high around your baby? No.

Nate, have you? I around your baby? No. Kate, have you? I have. What? Yeah. Yeah, yes, I have. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yes, I have.

A little edible taste here and there. Yeah. Already down for bed. Yeah, it's not that. As soon as bath time hits, I eat a gummy. I heard it makes you a better parent. I feel like it would make you a better parent. Yeah.

You're more locked in, but I think it's worse. I feel worse being locked in. Not more locked in. Oh, yeah. No, that's a different issue. I feel like they can smell it on you. It's like the kid who's like, I love driving high. Yeah. I would get scared of my kid if I smoked weed.

How fragile they are. You would just press it. Just touching the top of their head. So soft. That would freak press it. You'd break them. Yeah, just touching the top of their head. So soft. That would freak me out. Definitely not more luck. Having a kid gives me the heebie-jeebies. Well, you're 21.

A lot of it, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that would... You're just not ready yet. I think that's a clear care of a small... Slow down. In the whole soft head thing, I would assume you're probably not getting high when they're like eight days old.

I can't wait till you do have a kid though, Sass. That's true. Sweetheart, what do you think? Your kid complaining to you will be so funny. You're going to turn into your mom where you're going to like diagnose your kid with everything. Yeah. I don't think I would do that. Are you a worrier?

Not as much anymore. He's a worrier. Not as much anymore. My mom used to like plant shit in my head and convince me that I had all these diseases and shit. What was that movie where the little girl was 45 and she was like, I'm Trixie. The Orphan. No, the mom had Munchausen's by proxy

and made the little girl. They went to Disney World. They went on trips all around the world. Was it a documentary? It was a TV show on HBO. My Mother and Me, something like that. It was really good it was like on hbo or something anyway that's you dude i remember i remember watching the travis scott documentary and like as kylie jenner like right when she like uh gave birth he like like rushed to his car to like smoke five backwards like he was just like

immediately just getting absolutely fried. I just probably went back and had the baby on his bare chest smelling like a fresh backwood. It's a different life, dude. It's a different life for the rappers. Even this year down the shore, my parents were like,

we'll watch the baby tonight, go out. In my head, I do not go out very often, but I was like, I'm going to get fucked up tonight. I'm really going to go for it. Because he was at the beach all day. I was like, he'll be passed out all night. And I was like i'm gonna get fucked up tonight i'm really gonna go for it because he was at the beach all day i was like he'll be passed out all night and i was like ripping a couple cigarettes i had a couple shots i was pretty fucked up and they called me they're like we can't get him back down you gotta go home and i was like oh no that's like i like ran i'm

like running down the street back to my beach my parents beach house i was like mom i gotta get in the shower real quick because i didn't want my baby, who would have no idea, to know that I was smoky and gross or whatever. And then I was like, yeah, I can't do that anymore. That sucks. Yeah, cool story by me. That's great parenting. Being hung over as a parent

is the worst. Last case race was the day, the next day was the day we were going to try to start potty training with my son. I just laid on a pillow in the bathroom with him for like two hours he was puking him aside i was puking he was peeing it was a great time guys how do you guys get home like after the last case race how did you all like yeah even went out even went out of the town and steven were out we don't actually save my life we're not fired up let's go i'm excited r actually saved my life. Are we not fired up? I'm excited. Rone

saved my life last case race because I fell asleep on the toilet. That wasn't me. I think that was Nick. Oh, I came out of the toilet and you were like, yo, I got an Uber. Let's go. Oh, yeah. I was like, thank God. I fell asleep with a turd halfway out. I was so bad. Did you see it?

What is that? Oh! Yeah, it came. Show me see it? What is that? Oh. Yeah, it came. Show me how it works. It is. It's working right now. It looks cool. That's it.

Yeah. Worth it. Can you turn on my ears? Can you turn on my headphones? Yeah, mine too. Fuck with that. Excuse me. So low.

KB. Oh, there we go. Oh, Jesus Christ. Nice. That's crispy. Wow, that's really crispy. Makes me want to get ASMR'd out. Hey, everybody. KB, did go. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's crispy. Wow, that's really crispy. It makes me want to get ASMR'd out. Hey, everybody.

Hey, B, did you get a new spot? Yeah. I have a new spot. Knocks yourself. No, I don't want the boys. I saw what they did to Owen and Sass. This is about celebrating me today. I mean, I'll give you guys material to roast me for on, like, how poor I am and how shitty my place is.

Maybe too much. Maybe split the difference. For now, it's a relief. How many square feet can we ask? It's not bad. I mean, it's a significant downgrade to what I had, which is kind of demoralizing, but I'm happy right now. All right. Why did you move?

My rent went up $1,000. I'm really afforded. I thought the Yak was doing good. All we're hearing is static. No. These mics on in there. Well, the Yak is doing fine. It's doing better than ever, yeah.

What were you going to say, Steven? Oh, I love that answer. The Yak is doing really well, and my man can't keep up with a $1,000 bump. I mean, that's a significant bump. Significant bump. $1,000 a year. I don't have my headphones in, Steve.

Can you ask him if he's planning on getting internet at this apartment? Would you ever suck him off? Would you suck off Steve? No, I would never suck you off, Steve. Alright. Are you going to get internet? He was asking. I will get internet, yeah. Now he's back to asking if you'd suck you off, Steve. All right. Are you going to get internet? He was asking. I will get internet, yeah.

Nice. Now he's back to asking if you'd suck him off again. He's like saying if you wavered on sucking him off. He would be like very close to the top for males I would suck off. Hygiene wise. Thank you. Remember, he wipes back to front. I don't know.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, there's going to be poopy balls. Poopy balls. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So do I. Let's go. Stand up. Show us what you meanopy balls. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So do I. Let's go. Stand up. Show us what you mean.

I'll show you guys what I fucking do. All right, turn off Steven's mic because his static is, yeah. All right, show us. Stand up. So I have shorter arms, so I'm a stander as well. All right, so you've got poop in your butt right now. No. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. You can't get it all out by standing. Your ass cheeks literally clench. Yes. Unless you have wide set cheeks. Wow.

Dissent amongst the teammates. Wow. I hate to see that between two teammates. I know. It's going back and forth. Wow. Watch. Put a piece of paper in your ass while you're standing.

Dude. And then sit down. It will fall out. You're not taking into consideration the left hand. What are you talking about? Spreading your cheek. What is the left hand doing? Spread a cheek.

You spread your cheek with your left hand? Sometimes when I stand to get the full... Wait. It's a two-hand operation. Wait, hold on. Let me just make sure I'm right.

This is Stephen Che wiping. First of all, I sit down when I start. How do you spread your cheeks? No, I start... No This is Stephen Shea wiping. First of all, I sit down when I start. Why don't you spread your cheeks? No, I start. No, no, no, no. Completely inaccurate.

Completely inaccurate. A little lower on cheeks. And when you say sit down, I don't sit down. Wait, you poop standing up? No. He just leans back. He's like Michael Jackson. I take the roll off the rack and set it on something. Why would you take the roll off the rack?

I feel like that's a telltale sign you're doing it wrong. Right. Well, you're a Missouri boy, correct? Yes, sir. What part? What division? Southeast. Like the lead belt?

Like Franchois County? Yeah, St. Francis County. So, north of Cape Girardeau? Yeah. Bonterre? Yep. That makes sense. You guys are really rural.

They are a country breed. Yeah. Oh, okay. I see. And I sit there and I wipe downwards. What do you mean? That doesn't make sense. Okay.

There's no poop all the way up there. Now you totally lost me. What? You can't. I thought you. Going back to front. No, going back to front. You just have a gooch full of poop.

Going back to front only makes sense if you're going like up and around. You can't just be. You're just pushing the poop into your balls. It was gooch. Yes, you are. You can't just be, you're just pushing the poop into your balls. Yes, it was gooch. Yes, you are. You have a gooch. You can't go down until it starts to get away,

until it starts to like, fizzle out. No, no. You're going like this, man. Why do you want this shit to fizzle? Yeah, we should, the goal, the goal should never be a fizzle.

The goal should never be a fizzle. You are, wait, wait, so you're like a Zamboni where you get all the poop in the corner and then you shovel it off? Alright, can I talk to my teammate? Nick, figure this out.

What the fuck? This is worse than Che. This is worse than Che. This is worse than Che. Che just told us that he literally clenches his ass cheeks open with his left hand. No, no, no. Che thought he had the greatest trump card clenches his ass cheeks open with his left hand. No, no, no. You guys are misconstruing this a lot. Che thought he had the greatest trump card ever when he goes,

you guys are forgetting about the left hand. What I do is I open my cheeks, too. I pull the left to the side, and then you place it on the toilet, and then you pull the other one to the side, and you place it on the toilet. I do that with having your asshole wide open. I do that with the seat up so it's even wider. Yes, yes. It's cold.

Somebody asked me to clarify this on Twitter spaces also. I hope it was your wife. She was like, why are your balls smelling like poop? No. So what happens, the balls are completely pulled out of the way. If you put your hand between your legs to the point where you're in your butthole area, you're not supposed to move out of the way by the forearm. That doesn't make sense.

Then does the bottom of your hand touch the toilet water? Yeah. And your balls and everything. That's like so much more. Standing up during this? Have you guys ever thought about just sitting? Yeah. I do this.

And wiping your ass. That's the most normal thing you could possibly do. I'll be like putting on deodorant. You're like wrapping your arm like around your head. That's his right. Yep, he's right. It makes no sense. No, this is not right.

He's right. It's so wrong. You guys, okay, and I have a theory. You're a Label guy. You're a Francois County guy. You're a Bonne Terre boy. I get it. I get it.

It's rural. It's rural over there. It's a different type of rural down there. So you guys spread your cheeks on. I do that to shit. There's limited spreading. You keep them spread. How would you ever close them?

No, you don't go underneath. You go like this, dude. You lean. You lean. No, I don't go underneath. I go behind. You said you spread your cheeks. My cheeks are spread, and then I go to wipe, and they're already spread.

I guarantee you. This is a gap. Oh, no, no. I guarantee you if you did the normal way, you'd be like, what have I guarantee you. This is a gap. Oh, no, no. I guarantee you, if you did the normal way, you'd be like, what have I been doing my whole life? No. Shit right now. Will you try it?

Will you try it? I've already shit and I shit at the airport. Will you try it? I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of leftover shit in your asshole you can go wipe. Boys, boys, boys. That single ply airport paper is a brutal. I had to wipe like 30 times.

I bet, but I bet you could cut that down to 10 times if you did it in a more ergonomically correct way. Yes. Boys, I don't have the longest arms. What about that? That's very uncalled for. That's not an excuse. It's really not up for debate. It's not an excuse.

We grew up next to sheets. Their plies were thinner than some lines of sight. No, I'm just talking about the airport single ply. Let's say this is your asshole. That's a one-off. The sheet's in the 2010s. You're not going to be able to clean any of that. This is a you problem, I promise.

Your ass cheeks are clenching together. Or it's a regional problem. Listen, I've experienced my body. Oh, you haven't. You haven't. I've experimented with several. Your body,'ve experienced my body. Oh, you haven't? You haven't. I've experimented with several... Your body, our choice. Yeah. I've experimented with several

techniques, and that is my go-to. You've never just done the regular thing that every human being does. Yes, it is uncomfortable. It is very uncomfortable. Your arms are not that short, dude. Your arms are so normal looking. You wouldn't have never made it to the NFL if your arms were that short. It's a fact. Actually, isn't that true? I'm not saying I'm lying.

Did you go to the combine? Nope. At the combine, the first question is, how do you wipe? Yeah. Those are the privileged combine guys. Right. And they all are like, well, I go like this. Like every person in the beginning of time.

No, bro. Taylor reaches underneath. What? And goes sandpaper effect. What? We're not going to talk shit on him. No. I'm just saying there's more techniques out there.

Even going underneath. I stand by my technique. Going underneath is more normal. If there's a towel rack in front of me, you know what this is like? This is like the dudes in like KB, I'm taking the role and I'm setting it up on the towel rack. This is the dudes in the turn of the century.

This is the dudes in the turn of the century like I'm standing by riding on a horse. I don't want this car. That's what you're doing. Yes, there's an easier way to do all of this. You know what's nice? You can't go wrong with dude wipes. That's true.

No, you can't. That was all actually planned out. Everyone did a great job on their script. That was a good ad read. That's an ad read, boys. That's an ad read. Dude wipes. You can stop pretending.

You were convincing me. You were even starting to convince me that that's what you actually do. When the script writers came up with Stephen Chay's left-hand Trump card, that was... We were afraid because the viewer was going to be like, no way, Will's that disgusting.

Yeah, right. We got him. Will, you got to quit shitty, scratchy toilet paper and switch to dude wipes yeah oh we didn't do it to his liking uh dude wipes are the extra large flushable wipes made with plant source fibers designed to give your butt a cleaner more refreshing uh finish than tp after dropping a deuce dude wipes will change your life your butt will thank you you'll never look at an empty toilet paper roll the same way again. You can find it everywhere on Amazon.

Dude Wipes is at Walmart and Target and Nationwide. Go to dudewipes.com and use promo code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order. You can wipe back to front, front to back, standing up, sitting down. Anyway, Dude Wipes. To right. Love that. I'm surprised you guys don't go left to right. Yeah.

Is that an Asian joke? No. Wow. It'll be right to left. Jesus. Which finger do you guys shove up? left to right? Yeah. Is that an Asian joke? No. Wow. I'll be right to left. Jesus. Which finger do you guys shove up? Middle. Middle knuckle.

It's fucked up. Dude, not to get too bogged down in planning, but what's our mic situation going to be like tonight? I think it's exactly how it is right now. What about our seating situation, not to get too bogged down in planning? By your teammate. The Kyle Sasso. Big cat. Well, here's the deal. By your teammate. The Kyle Sass.

Big cat. Well, here's the deal. You're right. We need a seat and mic for every participant. Correct. What about Brandon when he's traipsing in here? Are we going to have another loose mic for Brandon? We have hands.

There's only eight chairs in here. We're maxed out on mics. Handhelds? We're maxed out on mics. No handhelds? Well, people are talking about your ability to train. I can ask, but the board is full. Yeah, that's okay.

It's annoying for sure. I don't think I can physically surpass a certain limit. What about you? Do you have a set limitation? No. There's no governor. You can't. There's no governor.

You can step it up. Fuck. I'm going to have to do something. He's tortoise. How many are you good for? The wrestling culture, man. How many can you take down? No, the culture, yeah.

I wish I could. I just physically cannot. Yeah, what is it? What's the issue? You can't burp. The carbonation. Stomach thing. Maybe you should just drink until you puke.

No, I'm going to drink as much as possible without letting up. Puking's allowed, right? No, it's immediately out. But those beers count. Yeah, and I'll bring, yeah. What about puking and no one finds out that you puke? Off camera, we'll talk about that. I feel like Owen is above average at drinking.

Yes. Wait. I did my 12th last time. He's just doing non-puking. It was after, though, right? When I puked? I puked after. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, non-monitoring. It was after though, right? When I puked? Yeah. I puked after. Oh,

okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's say if you puked in the middle of the case race, we're screwed.

No, no, no, I didn't. I puked like well after. I swallowed my puke. Not actual,

it was a burp. You know that burp before the puke? Yeah. You gotta swallow it. You can actually see it on the screen. People point it out,

they're like, oh, big cat just swallowed his puke. Yeah. Burp puke. It's the warning shot of the puke. point it out. They're like, oh, Big Cat just swallowed his puke. Yeah. Burp puke. It's the warning shot of the puke. Yeah. Where you just are like,

if I can just, like, swallow hard enough a few times, this will just stay down. Your cheeks start to feel furry. Yeah. You got that like dry mouth. Can you fucking put them down? Yes. I want to say something. Uh-oh. I can drink. So you guys know.

Do you want to participate with Brandon? Brandon participate? I don't know. You'd have to have probably around 22. I think it's not, your exclusion was not because of any reason. It's just we ran out of mic. No, no, I know. But you and Brandon drinking along with us in ref outfits would be very funny.

I would like that a lot. I would like to see how much you can put down. I do. I was telling BC that I think the refereeing will have to pick up. That would be very funny if the refs got drunk. I think the competition will be... Because then you could just drink with us and you don't have to like, it doesn't have to be a score.

It doesn't have to count. You could also referee any slaps that happen to make sure no one's overslapping. We maybe can jump the shit out of people that overslap and be the fuck out of it. Stop them out. I'll think about it. I'm confused on what... Is Brandon staying the whole time? I don't know.

Because originally it wasn't like he was coming for five minutes and then leaving. Yeah. And Tommy being here is problematic. Tommy's not going to be able to come in here. While we start. Yeah. Maybe I'll tag out. Maybe I'll go home and put my

son to bed and I'll come trade out with Brandon after he's got to go home. Yes. You have to deal with the worst of the worst. No one drinks like PSAC kids. Even Penn State can't compete. Lehigh can't compete. Pitt can't compete. PSAC is the best

drinking conference in the nation. What's PSAC again? It's the D2PA1. Like Bloomsburg, anything. I dropped out. I was a rugby, piece of shit rugby player lady, and I, on my chugging, I can, I don't like to brag, but I can really chug. Any type of bird. Like Will?

What are your abilities? Will can chug. You obviously have seen the chugs that you can do, but like how, like what do you think you max out at? Slow, steady. Realistically. What do you mean? What do you think you realistically will get to? On a bench press, what think you max out at? Realistically. What do you think you realistically will

get to tonight? On a bench press, what could you max out at? My drinking ability? How many beers do you think you'll do tonight? Realistically. Do you do beers? I can do at least 12. Yeah, boys, I can eat and I can drink. You can't wipe your ass.

You're getting nervous. I am. I'm a little nervous. I think the competition's much different this time. I'm not sitting here saying, like, oh, I crush beers and do all that. Like, I've seen the rumors of, I've seen the legend of Shane Gillis. I watch Big Cat and everything else, but, like, yeah, I mean. Yeah. Sass, what's happening to you right now? I'll be here competing.

No, I'm not. I literally told, they asked me in the PMT studio, and I was like, I think Sass is going to be great tonight because he doesn't have the lack of confidence he had in the first one. And now you're throwing this out there? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, no part of me was lacking confidence in the first one. What the hell are you talking about? Are you?

No, I was not at all. I was saying that you guys were all doubting my ability. Everyone was like, oh, he's only going to drink two. But you proved you could do it. So you should be going into this one being like, I'm going at least 15 tonight. Oh, wow. Shit. I know for a fact you guys will lose and you will lose badly.

Oh, what? The fuck? Remember, there's a riff rule. You bought both of you. We were talking about that. No, I think. They broke the riff rule last though. You bought both of you. There's a riff rule. We were talking about that. No, I think. They broke the riff rule last time. That's what I think is going to be the problem.

He shattered the riff rule. He shattered the riff rule. You can't just be sitting there chugging and not talking. KB just said that like an oracle. You guys are going to crumble. That's what you would think. He's saying that he thinks that people are going to stop riffing because they're going to be competing.

Oh, we'll have a rap. That's what we thought would happen last time. You get hammered and you kind of forget about it. If I had anything. It's going to like people are going to stop riffing because they're going to competing. So we'll have a rap. That's what we thought would happen last time. You get hammered and you like kind of forget about anything. But you guys are having more like I feel like the competition, the hype around this one is going to bring out a little bit. Oh, no, it's definitely going to be. Yeah. I think it's going to be more much more competitive. Yeah.

Sass and I broke the riff rule the other way last time, by the way. We talked. That was because we. Yeah. Right. We're throwing them back. And I think everyone's got everyone's got Shane Gillis running off with this thing, and suddenly I think BC is sitting there like he's giving him all of his

flowers, he's allowing him to have it, he's giving him the stage. But I think BC's got something inside of him that's going to be like, all right, I'll go. Adderall? The real big dog sitting there right now. Next step. BC plays chess, you know. I mean, Shane drank like 18 beers in four hours.

Yeah. I saw the odds. He drank what? 15 and 2? I'm just saying. I'm saying. But if you're drinking 15, how is he going to? We're doing 30.

We're doing 30. Yeah. Everyone else is doing 24. Make it easier on you guys. Oh. Yeah. Did you drink a lot in college? No, that was just steroids.

Yeah. I think it's yours to win. Really? I think Nick can put him down. And I think you can. Did you put him down last time? I didn't feel like it. I think we really wanted to. Sass is day.

Yeah, last time we were more gawking at the drunk. Well, I think this will be different. Oh, man. I'm fired up. Oh. This will be very different than the first one just because everyone knows where their limits are and now you can test them. Because before we were going to uncharted territory. We're not letting S Seth win this time?

Yeah. And let him. Seth will not win. I'm the Joker, baby. Listen, can we just remember, too? It's about the fans. Because now I'm going to get belligerent tonight. It's about the fans.

The fans are the winners. You guys are all going to go home, and I'm going to be sitting there still drinking. Oh, I want that more than anything. I disagree, Big Ken. What can we do? Set up on a tripod? I'm here to go home and I'm going to be sitting there still drinking. Oh, I want that more than anything. I disagree, Big Cat. What can we do? Set up on a tripod? I'm here for the boy.

No, I don't give a fuck what the final product is. Oh, jeez. What can we do if this video gets a million views? Limited edition tea? Raisins? Oh. Get a beer back in his apartment? Apartment's fire, dude.

I like limited edition tea. I like the raisins. I like the raisins. I like raisins. No, no, tea. Oh, raisins. Yeah, just raisins. How did the last Yak shirt sell? They got a bonus.

What? You said they hit a bonus? Hit the bonus. We sold a lot. A lot, yeah. That's what I expected. We have some merch that I'll be dropping tomorrow that we're going to look at on the race tonight. Can we look at one of them now?

Dude, by the way, I got an email today from a guy. We should call this guy. He said that he's selling ads in malls. He's like, your YouTube channel, we're thinking about, do you want to buy advertising? I was like, can we put anything we want on it? What about a brick and mortar yak?

Think about if we had an advertisement in a mall. The winning team gets an advertisement in the mall. I like that. About a billboard in Times Square. Advertisement in the mall? Oh, that would actually be sad. All right, done. Cool. Love that. About a billboard in Times Square. Done.

Done. I love that. Winning TV. That's a random answer. Is that the limited edition? I have three designs, ones in two colors. They want us to reveal them tonight because they're coming out tomorrow. Who's that? Is that one of the designs?

Yeah But we should hold one back I have two other ones But if we reveal it tonight, that's revealing it tomorrow When they're already out Right, but we should hold the fire design back for a million views Oh, I like that Just a little carrot and a stick

Yes What did the last one get, 500? Yeah Maybe we should go 750 first No Oh I like that Just a little carrot and a stick Yes What did the last one get? 500? Yeah Maybe we should go 750 first? No I think we could get a million But this is one of those things

If you fail It's like really embarrassing But it would hit a million eventually Maybe long after we're dead So it's 500 with just us That's true Shane Gillis is coming And you

That was also before We were streaming on this channel That's true You've got millions of views on your podcast I don't like that You have them added up Undeniable You had a girl

On your podcast We've had two girls All our fucking legends Or pioneers really You're just bursting the glass ceiling yourselves Somebody's gotta do it You should have Kate on Two girls. It's so fucking dope. The podcast. All our fucking legends. Our pioneers, really. You're just bursting the glass ceiling yourselves. Somebody's got to do it. You should have Kate on.

Quit playing yourselves. With our segments. Have Kate on the podcast and quit playing yourself. Look at her. We'll have you on the podcast. Look at her. I like sports. You fly to Nashville?

Hell yeah. I'll bring my... Our babies can play. They can be buddies. They can look at each other, I guess, yeah. Yeah, they can just sit there and, yeah. They've got to hold the roux up. That's incredible, incredible. What's your baby's vibe so far, three months in?

You know. Live? Vibe, bad vibe? You can tell a baby's vibe right away. It kind of sucks. She's got a chill vibe, but she's very expressive. Like, she lets you know, like know when it's time to eat, and she'll get pissed off if you sit somewhere for too long.

She wants you to stand up and take her around, show her toward the house. Yeah, so she's got kind of a high-maintenance vibe? We'll nip that in the bud. Okay. She's young right now. She's young right now. Maintain it for her.

I'm just saying never too young to start some discipline. No doubt. The hard part is like... Soap in the mouth? She's grounded. No dinner. I'm out. The toughest part, you guys know, when they will not go to...

It's teaching them how to wipe. Everyone thinks it's back to front. Dude, blowouts are brutal. Oh, dude, yeah. Keeping them asleep at night, like when you're like, go to fucking sleep. Oh, yeah. It could be inappropriate.

You know? That's going to be awesome. I better be top to back. Yeah, yeah, front to back. Yeah, front to back. For the baby girls. Yeah, for the baby girls, for sure. I gotta go front to back.

Yeah. And fuck with that. Let's move on. Let's move on. We're being honest. You can't fuck with that. You really can't. You really can't fuck with that.

My son, I'll do whatever. I'll wipe any which way I want. But the girls, you got to go. You got to be careful. Dude wipes. Dude wipes. You got to use dude wipes. Another perfect script read.

Dude wipes really came through for two ad reads on this one. Shout outs to them. I feel like they could have distributed that to another show. Shout out to them. Revitalite tonight. That's going to come in handy. That was pretty sweet. Remember, they sponsored it like halfway through the case.

Yeah. This time they actually got them the whole time. Wow. Yeah. Found a shit involved with that sponsorship. Get some like get some leave in our systems before we get started. Do you guys have like a dietary plan so far? Have you been eating?

No, I haven't. No meals? I've got a bunch of eggs and avocado last time. Whoa, whoa. Steven just gave this woman a hug. Oh, it's the face painter. Oh. Someone's got to get face painted at 2 o'clock.

Why did he open mouth kiss the face painter? Yeah. That was a little aggressive. I thought that was aggressive. There's a ghillie monster coming. Around 6, I believe. That's when it would be last to be face painted. Are we starting at 7?

Yeah, like 6. 6. 37, yeah. That was 6. I mean, we're always a little late. But that's the reason he- I tried to tell him to get a little earlier. I get here a little earlier.

I was going to say, everybody was going to- I got to get here at like 5 530 so we can get face painted. Yeah, but we get it'll be fine. Six is the time we tell people so that KD gets here at seven.

I'll get here on time, yeah. Yeah. Excited. This is just there is like a buzz around the office. There is a buzz

like I feel excited for you guys and I can't wait for it and I'm just going to be watching from afar like I'm pumped. Oh, you can come ref.

Well, even if I don't, I'm just saying, I do feel like you and Shane, like, really, you guys are great, but you guys really up the ante on it. And I feel like there's going to be extra. Great, but you guys are just way better. Yeah, you guys are just so much better than them. And I think. Doing my best except for Shane.

You know him, though. He was on the bus, right? Yeah, Shane was on the bus. He's a stud. And I've heard, like, I want to hear his new bits because I hear they're better than what. Maybe he'll do them on the show. Have you guys all seen his stand-up on YouTube? Yeah.

He's probably got a new stuff. Holy shit. Very good. He's also better than us at drinking. Yeah. He was a college football player, right? Hey, and that's why I think it's bullshit that he can't back out of the slap. You can't play college ball and be like,

oh, save this. I'm all about him. I don't think he's going to. He's not going to. He just thought of a genius idea. He said he wanted to. He looks forward to running it down. Maybe because he's a good slapper and he's afraid of what his power.

Yeah, he doesn't want to slap Che, maybe. I don't know. We'll see. KB, you're talking confident. It's on brand. Did you make a Faustian bargain, bro? I'm very hyped right now because I thought I was going to be homeless, and I have a place.

You have a home now? You have a twin on your eye? It seems like you have a place to go pass out tonight once you're all shit-faced. Are you less than 1,000 feet from me? I might be. I'm not going to say my address. Well, they know theirs, so you really just You'll be able to find Kyle if you just

wander over to this one. Tass, what do you think about that idea? Oh, come on now. Tass, me and Shane are in a text calling you a pussy right now. I don't think it's going to work. We're talking about you behind your back calling you a pussy. We should memorize Shane's set and just casually read it back to him during the whole show. The only thing is, I don't think it's going to work. We're talking about you behind your back calling you a pussy. We should memorize Shane's set and just casually read it back to him during the whole show. The only thing is, I don't think any of his new stuff is out.

Defending champs, you guys are nervous. No, I mean, that's just... You got to hear his new stuff? Also, we're not going to turn this into a Shane neck session. We're not going to throw him neck every ten seconds. I fucking hate the dude. I was actually on Lord Michael's side. I was going to toss him neck, but I don't want to now.

It's too much neck, dude. Too much neck. I'll eat his ass. Yeah, what if we did the NBC logo as our face paint? Oh! That's really good. You're staring at it the whole time. You do NBC, I'll just write live from New York.

Yeah. That's good. That would be good. You do NBC, I'll just write live from New York. Yeah. That's good. That could kill. Line games. I'm sure he's going to love having to retell that story tonight when we're drunk. Oh, yeah. We're definitely going to. Hey, so what was that like?

What happened with SNL? 20,000 times. I'm sure there's a silver lining in it all. I didn't want to be a part of it anyway. If you look back on it now, Ryan, you're thankful for the experience. You're happy it happened. We're acting like to be a part of it anyway. You look back on it now, right, and you're thankful for the experience. You're happy it happened. We're acting like we didn't actually do that one. No, exactly.

We did the same thing. Every single person. We're going to get a good clip. People love to ask about BVT. He probably has the same conundrums trying to think about how to approach us. He's like, oh, fucking Re-Discovering America and shit. He probably has the same conundrums like trying to think about how to approach us. Yeah.

Yeah, he's like, oh, fucking discovering America and shit. Yeah. He's super nervous, I bet. He's probably shitting himself. And he's wiping correctly. Listen, man. You're a maniac.

No, I don't believe I am. He's good. I stand. Can I wipe for you next time you shit? You can come wipe me. Can I come wipe for you and show you? You guys come in last. He gets to wipe you tonight. Yeah, like a golf instructor.

I'll just lead your hand, and I'll show you how you can do it. I'll be like the movie Ghost. Be behind him. You did the hot shit. Glays everywhere. What? I have done the hot shit. How long was your shit pitch black?

It was like three days. Pitch black. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Pitch black. Jet black. That might be healthy honestly. That probably sounds like you got some of your stomach enzymes. They look like

missiles too. Doesn't black shit mean there's blood in it? Yes it does. I think blood means there's blood in it. It's a mix of both. It's old blood. I've had blood in my stool as well. If it's old blood, my body needs to get rid of it anyway.

My body had jet black puke once. That was scary. Yeah, that's stomach bile. Have you guys ever had a hemorrhoid? Oh, buddy. Oh. I'm sorry. I answered for all of us.

It's a quick answer. All right, Kate. Yeah. What about you, Will? I had hemorrhoids when I was like 12. The amount of time Will has to sit on the toilet to wipe, dude, you're definitely... I was like, what the fuck is wrong? I had to get my ass lanced.

After an NSYNC concert. We should just go until 6 and then just start drinking. There's not, dude. They're thinking about that a lot. You gotta have a meet-up. A pop-up shop. Oh, there's no wip People would be selling off. You gotta have a meet up. A pop up shop. There's no wipers

out there like you. I think there has to be. Besides the case race, what's the most you've ever drank? It's standing

wipers. Will just pushes the shit back. It's not the most I've ever drank. You wipe like Houdini getting out of a straight

jacket. Beer Olympics. Oh yeah. I was asking them. I was in a Beer Olympics right after I had to put my shih tzu down and I had to take them to the vet in a kimono. Most you guys have ever drank besides case rates.

That puts on bottles. The hardest I ever have. After your shih tzu died? But I had to go to a Beer Olympics afterwards. Japan. Beer Olympics are like, it's more competition-based than straight drinking-based. And even the most I've drank before, thinking about your question, Kate, I feel like it's over extended periods of time.

It's your Penn State. Dude, of course. Dude, anything east of Penn State or Pennsylvania. Yeah, mine hasn't been an attempt. It was over a period of time. I once beer bonged 10 ounces of whiskey. Never been beer. I was always liquor.

Shotgun 2-4 low goes back to back. Oh, shit. DePaul was a huge party school. You were king. Yeah, I took a green tea shot once. Yeah? You lost will. You're looking for any type of...

He's looking for a shitter. He's looking for anyone who wipes like him. He can't find anyone. No, you're not. He's not a lot. There's no corner of the internet. He's going to find one person and it's going to be the account was made today.

I'm going to have to... He's making an account to corroborate. All right. So no Faustian bargain, KB? What's up? You seem like you made a deal with the devil to win tonight. I was actually trying to find ways to cheat. I think that's the only way to go about it.

I don't think I'm out of the question. I'll be fine. Yeah. I'll do my, yeah. What happens? You drink too much and you just puke because you can't hold it down? This never puked. I just can't.

It just lingers in my stomach. I don't burp. And it just sits there. You just give up. I don't hold it down. This never puked. I just can't. It just lingers on my stomach. I don't burp. And it just sits there. You just give up. I don't necessarily give up. Usually when you drink, you do it until you're personally content. It's never a competition. Don't you pee it out?

Whoa. Oh, it's beer, piss, or poop. I'm just saying. It sounds like. I think it's poop, honestly. I'm almost certain it sounds like... I think it's poop, honestly. I'm almost certain it's poop. I think it depends on the beer. Like a Guinness is poop,

a Bud Light is pee. True. I think lagers are poop, ales are poop. People are telling me I have to get a steroid. IPAs are poop. IPAs are lactate.

Pills are RP, though. It just seems like you get a ton of it or like a full belly and you're done. I won't quit. It sounds like it happens.

You've done hard things before. You've been hard before. Right for fucking Stephen Chase sucking you off. Stephen, where does KB rank in the people in the office that you would suck off? Four. I'm doing dudes only? Yeah, of course. You can't suck off a girl.

What did he say? Never know. You're talking to the wrong guy about what you can and can't do. Go to the eyebrow. Yeah, you. Jeez. I mean, you have to eliminate anyone with visible body hair, really. He's really doing this, folks.

Yes, I mean, KB, yeah, I think he'd probably be up there. Give us your top three. Oh, yeah, where is he? Where is he? Is he like one to five, you know, five to ten, 15 to 20? He's top ten, probably. And his size affecting this? Yeah.

Probably better, right? Smaller? A smaller dick? Oh, you could do a big guy move and have him sitting on your shoulders while you sit. Oh, God. True. I feel like sucking a bigger dick would be less gay. I feel like it's like a...

You have to really want it if it's a small dick. There's no shock factor. I harden slowly. He would give you the Jordi El Nino Pollo though and fucking have you sit and remember when Phoenix We might try that. You're your hardest long after you're done fucking. Yeah.

It's a slow burn for a boy boy. Is it a late onset hard? No, it's petrified wood fucking a thousand years later. My Achilles heel. It's got that chrysalis dick. I'm the hardest afterwards, yeah. I'm like an hour off. Yeah. Every time.

You missed the cycle. Kate, your child did incredibly Throughout the parade Thank you It was very impressive And it was a testament to your parental ability Not a single whine he was happy Loved mama

So what do you think she's doing right in her parenting That's enabling She's giving him time She's getting on the floor with him She's playing with him She's giving him enjoyable. I do. She's getting on the floor with him. She's playing with him. She's giving him enjoyable time that he likes to experience. Also, I'm socially super awkward, so it's easier to hang out with him than talk to other adults around me.

When someone brings their dog around and everyone's just talking to their dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's been a huge outflow. What are you doing? Because he won't talk to your in-laws. Yeah, everybody experiences that. It's dope. It's dope as fuck.

This fucking stud. He wishes he came at fucking 7 o'clock. Sorry, pal. Boy, would be paid. Pass burning a hole, my pal. Came in quick. That's a beast. Did you see his physique, bro?

Yeah. He can't be salivating over that dude's fucking, the way he's maximizing his energy. Will, you remember the old Rice running back? He was like 4'9". Sam McGuffey? No, no, no. He wasn't 4'9".

He wasn't white. Sam McGuffey was. Did he go to Rice after Michigan? Yeah. I didn't know that. Sam McGuffey. Dude, his highlight tape coming out of high school. Yeah, all-time highlight tape.

Fucking God. This guy wasn't good. Was he just thick? I thought you were making a short joke. He was extremely good for his height. 135, he was thin. No. They beat El Paso.

4'9", 135. He had a run. Give it a run. He wasn't good. For a D1. But he was like a solid back At 4'9 I think he was good in high school

Yeah Should've just Let's hope he made the team The people were probably gassed Just to have him around He should've went NAIA D3

Hawaii Bowl What year is this? Dude there's a TikTok account Where the guy He'll like Jersey's in size like 8 font Oh my god, he's so small Oh, look at him

There's a guy who takes any like Image of a football game And he'll like tell you what the game was And like who the player was He's a fucking savant Oh damn Must have been fun as fuck to tackle that Would you have blown him up?

That wasn't bad, though. That was funny. I did not expect that. Was he going to touchdown? That was his highlight tape. He just lunged and didn't even bring his arms. I was like, yo, I'm going to knock this kid the fuck out. He popped back a decent amount, dude.

He really got thrown back. I mean, you guys probably gave him a scholarship. You guys give 80 scholarships a team. It's disgusting. Too many? What's going on right now? I mean, you obviously deserve. He's been on take mode.

I don't think every single roster member deserves a scholarship. Two to three, he does takes. Yeah, you should get him a boy that now while he's cooking. You think they should go from 80 down to like 60? I think the starters and the backups should, they deserve a Division I scholarship. I don't think someone who is not going to play. He's looking for more parity across the sports.

The whole season, I don't think they deserve it. Is that what you're saying, that money should go elsewhere? I think we shouldn't cough up tuition to someone who's not going to contribute anything to a team. So where do you think that those scholarships should go? To other teams. Yeah, but if they don't. Wrestling gets nine.

Well, contributing to a team. If they're not bringing in – You're right. They're not bringing in money, but what is the guy who doesn't get any playing time bring in? Morale. Probably good morale. Like they feel better having a short guy.

Some guys are sitting and buying their time, right? Like they're young. They're on scholarship. But you know there's a lot of guys who are just destined to be practicing. There's definitely some guys that are trash. I don't think they deserve a full ride. Simple as that. Yeah, like I do think teams should be able to cut their players

if they feel like, oh, this isn't going to be a scholarship kid we wanted. If kids can transfer now, I feel like the same should be able to happen with teams where they, like after a year's up, oh, we're going to, hey, we're putting you in the transfer portal because we want that. Yeah, I think that should be the case happen with teams where they like after a year's up, oh we're gonna hey we're putting you in the transfer portal because we want that. Yeah, I think that should be the case. Oh fuck. This is a class. I agree with you. Some dudes get

like four, five years fully paid for college. I'm so excited for the case race tonight. You don't want to talk about this? Stephen Chay just got a record. It's not a bitter wrestling thing. I think there's other sports and I think you don't need everyone talk about this? Stephen Chay just got a record. It's not a bitter wrestling thing. I think there's other sports, and I think you don't need everyone getting a full ride.

I think it's turning into the norm to just surprise these guys with a full ride. Everyone deserves it. In reality, they could be going D2, D3 and still fighting for a scholarship. I want one of those surprise videos of someone getting their scholarship taken away. How sick would that be?

Everyone goes crazy. Yeah. They all come set, and they're like, hey, you suck. We got a new fucking five-star coming in. Zoink. But everybody gets it. You know everybody's not going to cheer, like, on the team. Like, you go, maybe all the fans go to, like, the local bar.

Yeah. And they put a camera in there. Just bring in all the fans to sit in the middle of the field. Like, that's the hype video. It would be dope if fans to the middle of the field. Like that's the hype video. It would be dope if some kids got crushed like you want, KB. Yeah, the backup puncher. That is, I mean, you are kind of saying. It is, and it's nice to see them, like, win, but I think, I don't know.

This is a meninist-ass take. I mean, we have a lot of grown men, 30, 40-plus, who wish death on 20-year-old college players for not performing up to par, then they don't need to get scholarships. Yeah, but you're not going to know that they don't deserve that scholarship until you're like two years past. Yeah, but how do you test how they deserve it? They're not good enough to even get in a game for a second. But maybe everybody's not expected to be playing as a true freshman or sophomore, especially Alabama.

Some kids don't play in Tennessee. And don't start at Alabama. Go to Troy. But you're talking to – yeah, yeah, yeah, but you still go to Alabama because you want to go to a football factory. Yeah, but if you're not good enough to start or even be second string, then you don't deserve a scholarship. What the fuck?

Damn, Radio Shack. Oh. There you go, Radio Shack. Squirting real, you guys think? Hey, so you would rather go to a Troy. It can't be the turnoff in this conversation. I'm actually going to go take a piss. I got to do some other stuff.

I think if you're not good enough to play for alabama and say troy offers you something get the troy scholarship and play if you get the alabama scholarship they're saying you're good enough to play here it might just not be right now okay and i'm not saying that i'm saying people who get one later on for no apparent reason oh like a walk-on yeah like a walk-on. Yeah, like a walk-on. Some of those dudes play. Are you saying the dudes that get it just for like a – like they've been here and grinded for four years, so we're just going to – On the practice team.

They didn't show any ability on the field. Yeah. I think it's a feel-good story. Yeah, I think it's a gray area just because, like, who knows what that player meant. Right. And I get it. It's very much because, like, who knows what that player meant. Right. And I get it. It's very much performance-based from the outside looking in.

Yeah. But you could have somebody who's like. No, you're right. The Rudy vibe. What about, like, baseball players? Is every starter getting a scholarship? Oh, I don't know. I don't think baseball gets full rides like that.

Yeah, well, they should. Yeah, I mean. If you're the starting left fielder you should have a full ride regardless yeah like i'm not disagreeing with you i feel like i'm just kind of playing devil's advocate oh yeah to the thoughts on football i don't know anything other sports i don't disagree that like starting pitchers and baseball players right i think if you're a starter on a team you should get a scholarship and if you're not maybe you shouldn't so you think if you're like a starter on the wrestling team, they should have full rights.

I think if you're a starter, I'm not, I'm not, it's not a wrestling thing. I didn't deserve one back to wrestling. I didn't deserve one. I think it's other sports like that. I think wrestling only gets nine, but there's 10 starters. Right. I think that's unfair. And I think a lot of other sports are like that, like swimming track,

tennis. So I don't think football deserves every single one. Yeah. I could, you know, I could potentially get on board with that. We have to. We cannot pussy out tonight. No, no, we got to. I'm worried I might.

Why? What? I just can't drink beer. Why is that? I might cheat. You legitimately have a genetic thing? It's an internal thing. It's a fire burning.

I think even if I have the right adrenaline, I can put down nine, ten. Who's your teammate? Owen. And he drink? He doesn't drink alcohol, so he has a slight advantage. So he does non-alcoholic beer? He's going to do the NA beers. I mean, that's kind of bullshit.

Nick's good, though. That's an advantage for you. Make sure Nick doesn't eat before this. I, that's kind of bullshit. Nick's good, though. That's an advantage for you. Make sure Nick doesn't eat before this. I think Nick's ready to go. He's good. No, he's a good drinker. He went to WVU. Hey, between us, like, I haven't, like, I've drank a lot of beer, like, on occasions.

But I've never done a straight-up case race. Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's unfamiliar for me, too. Like, it's more of like The other beer games People are knocking you Because you were slow When you chug Yeah yeah yeah

This is more of a Stamina thing though Yeah Which I'm confident about Because You know I can put stuff in the old belt Yeah

You know And I don't wanna I don't wanna disappoint my dad People care more about this Than any other show That we do Really? They're very They're tough on us I'm already getting like Dad. People care more about this than any other show we do. Really?

They're very, they're tough on us. I'm already getting people preemptively calling me a pussy. They said you can't do Twisted Teas. You can't do non-carbonate. I think Twisted Tea would be too heavy. That would be too much sugar. I wasn't going to do that ever. Do we get to pick our beer? I don't know.

What a fuck. They don't want me to do like a double IPA and go by percentage. So I'm not gonna do that. You talking about percent alcohol? Like I could do like a 12% raging bitch.

Oh, just so you can knock out less liquid, knock out the same alcohol content? I think it would be the same disadvantage if those are heavy on the stomach. Yeah, I think it would be the same disadvantage. Those are heavy on the stomach. Yeah, I think it would be a big flex if somebody wins with Guinness or Bud Heavy. Not that they're the same because Guinness is obviously thicker.

Yeah. Obviously, if you're trying to drink, you're trying to go Bud Light. You're trying to do the light beers. You didn't get lunch or anything, did you? I haven't yet. Hungry? I am hungry. Should we go get some lunch?

I think if we should do, just do like a cross the street, a safe bet. Hey, I'm down. I'm familiar get some lunch? I think if we should do, just do like a cross the street, a safe bet. Hey, I'm down. I'm familiar with all the... Something else. I'm feeling whatever. I don't know if I want to eat anything. See, I don't think that's the right move. I think your stomach needs some kind of prep because if you don't eat,

your stomach's going to shrink throughout the day. Throughout the day? We have a few hours, I think, if I don't eat. But I think if you do something that expands it a little bit to give you some good digestion. See, me, I feel like I'm overhydrating right now. You're drinking a lot of water. Yeah. Don't do that.

Yeah. What's up, brother? Hey, I did want to say before you take off, I enjoy those rap battles. I was rolling on the dude that said the Eskimo kiss. What was that line where he said you fuck my bitch? They're phenomenal.

I was dying. It was crazy to see how different everyone approached it. Some people were very comfortable with self-deprecation in the raps and some people were clearly not as comfortable. so it was more of a task for them but it was awesome to witness i bet i'd be rich oh you gotta go sooner my anniversary gift she even sent me the pics since we're eskimo brothers eskimo kiss there it was a real talk to i'm happy you had sex There it was

For real talk I'm happy you had sex With my bitch Yo I was like What the No sure He was very good

He crossed lines And he was It was a lot of shock factor For a lot of the audience What he would say You were there Were you there I was

For What was like The environment like? It was good vibes. It was like a warehouse with a set crew watching. I feel like everybody was kind of like, how is this going to go since you're throwing out nice... A lot of the battle rappers said it's the best vibes of an event that they've ever been to. Because you've got to look at it this way. Most events, you're waiting for someone to fucking fuck up.

One person's going to lose and one person's going to win. You're trying to disparage someone with all the shit that you're coming up with. People paid to get in. They're having a fucking shitty hot time. This shit was free to get into. We had drinks, food for everybody. It was just good vibes. It was incredible vibes.

I love that. Hell yes. Fires me up. You see we got him to sit down and get on the mic again with us. Yeah, you guys are fucking great. This is a pod. I could see this. This is a fucking pod, dude.

They just ran out. Dude, you wouldn't move to Nashville and hop on the bus with the boys. I'm not a Nashville guy. I would love to. I would hop on the bus whenever. I'm saying you wouldn't move there permanently and work with Will Compton. Probably, yeah. Would or wouldn't?

We would, yes. We're still in Nashville? Yeah, a lot of us. That's what I'm saying. I've heard it's going, yeah. Would or wouldn't? It would, yes. Or still Nashville? I've heard it's going to happen. I'm sneaking into Erica's office right now. Erica, what are we talking about? We got KB in the mix. I heard there's going to be a double-decker bus, though. The second floor is going to be all business people and the bottom floor is going to be unruly.

I think that would be sick. Double-decker bus? If you just had a bunch of buses? A bunch of buses in a warehouse? That shit sounds fucking dope to me. Like when people make buildings out of shipping containers. You made a building of all buses. Sass.

I don't mind buses at all. Come into the show. We gotta do Son of a Boy. Actually, KB and Nick are coming. This is the end of KB and Ice podcast. Alright, Will. one more question. Do you see yourself in Nashville long term? Yes.

Do you like it as a – Yeah, I love Nashville. It's a raise of family. They are. It's like a – It's the center of America. You can get everywhere pretty easy. People love coming there.

You know what I mean? Like family, friends, like people – Yeah. People fuck with Nashville for a weekend. Like it might not be your vibe, but people like – Definitely. Want to come. It's an easy excuse to be like, oh, let's go out to Nashville.

Right. But people come to you. All right. I appreciate you chatting with me a little extra. Comment, subscribe. That's it for tonight. Yeah. It's the act It's your straws, yeah Style the tape for a while

It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk Shop and do Yankee pop It's the act It's the act Case race tonight. See you tomorrow.

Wish us luck.