The Yard - BEST OF THE YARD (2022)

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

While the boys see their families for the holidays, enjoy this best of compilation for the year 2022! or don't! I don't care! Thanks for listening!

Hey, everyone. How's it going? We're not Carl J. Keep that going. Hey, thank you for watching The Yard this year. And we are going to show you now some clips of the best of this year. And everything that we've achieved and everything that we've said. So thank you for watching The Yard.

And I hope you enjoy this. Instead of an episode. It's not a scam. We love you. Get on spending it with me. Would you, given the opportunity, want to with me. I'm under scamming. Would you, given the opportunity, want to see Elon's cock? Oh, yeah.

I'll see everyone's cock. No. Yeah. We were comparing. No. What are you saying? No, this is my feelings. Got him.

A child's cock. A child's cock. Will you stand your ground? Or will you wither? If they're dead. That is so much worse. Why is it worse? What do you mean? Because, like because like it's not you're not hurting anyone wait i don't want to see it how did they die what are you doing i don't know like it got it got overfed it got overfed like a like a duck for foe graw that is the most insane thing you have ever i'm not trying to be edgy, but I definitely am thinking.

I think that that saved me. I'm not trying to be edgy, but I'll look at a dead kid's cock. TikTok about to go crazy. And that's why free speech is important. Amen. God forbid they take our First Amendment away so we can't joke about the dead kid's cock. Get this man a gun and a dead kid. Yeah.

Stat. Stat, General Patton. this man a gun and a dead kid. Yeah. Stat. Stat, General Patton. Or just a gun and a kid. He'll use the gun. Cowgirls make do. A little bit of second, a little bit of first. Chance Soda Poppin, he had a mute, and he was bragging about his mute a lot.

And this is a year ago now. But she would dance and stuff. And usually mutes are just guys who are role-playing as really cute animal-looking girls. Okay. That are small and petite. Animal-looking girls in the game? Like your mom. Like fairy.

Holy fuck. Oh my god. He didn't like that. He didn't like that. He didn't like that. I don't like being between you two right now. I'm pretty scared. Look at that glare. Oh, it's menacing.

Like what? We are in a yard, too. I was just bringing back the George energy. You talked about fucking my mom last week. You talked about fucking my mom last week. I'm just saying, when we were at your house, she looked like she had last week. You talked about fucking my mom last week. You know, I'm just saying, I'm just saying when we were at your house, she looked like she had hooves.

You know, I'm gonna show her this. That's good. No, that's good. I'm gonna show her this. That's like a horse ass. Caleb, don't jump in. Don't jump in, Caleb.

I'm trying to make it better. It's not better. Like she's got a horse's ass. It's better. It's like what Caleb Like she's got a horse's ass. It's better. It's really big. It's really big. It's her least favorite. You know you're her least favorite.

I'm sorry. She walking around in Hollis on all fours. Well, no, because Maverick's different and earned double in the box office. Also, Val Kilmer is the most handsome man from the 80s. Accounting for inflation? No, for real shit. Would not look at him the same. I know.

He's different now. That's how you'll look soon. Well. That's how you'll look. Hopefully not. I hope you don't look like that. Tummy bear. Look, for real shit. Would not look at him the same. I know. He's different now. That's how you'll look soon. Well. That's how you'll look. Hopefully not. I hope you don't look like that. Tummy bear. Look, I'm fit.

Oh my God. Hey, expand it for me. Give me one time. One time. It's rippling like water. Put it out. Put it out. No, no, no.

Put it out. Put it out. Come on. Put it out. No. What about that little guy? You want to see my penis right now? Yeah.

Now we're in public. We miss you. Dude, that doesn't mean. Let me see your penis. You keep pushing your chair back. We have been missing you though. Anyway, I'm on the damn flight. I asked the flight attendant, why don't mean let me see your penis. We have been missing you, though. Anyway, I'm on the damn flight. I asked the flight attendant

why she's sleeping. She's coming with your head off. I sleep. Hey, I'm tired of these snakes on this goddamn plane. Please, please finish the story. Hour two. Hour two, Aiden.

Hour two. Aiden, you're the only one left. I have, you are the only one. What are you, you were whipping? I'm good, no, I'm coming. Not you, obviously. You don't know how to. You talked to Aiden. He's the flight attendant were whipping? I'm good. No, I'm coming. Not you, obviously. You don't know how to. You talked to Aiden.

He's the flight attendant. I got to keep that camera. Don't laugh. I thought I had you. I got to keep that camera. When did I lose you? Are you laughing at the whip? Who is that?

Who is that in this example? That's me beating off Anthony. Okay. No, that's the Delta One flight attendant being like, sir, you need to stop coming. We can't. I only have you left. I'm on the flight attendant jerking people off, sir, you need to stop coming. I only have you left. I'm on the flight. I'm sleeping.

It's a sick bed. It's flat. I lie down. Okay. But is that why you messaged me what you did while you were gone? Yeah, and then, dude, I sent in a message and I was like, what did I say? Like, you're the, am I your worst friend that you have

you asked you this is out of the blue I opened my phone I'm getting this at like 6 a.m. like my time if you didn't know he didn't drink it would seem like a drunk text and I open it up and I'm laying I'm laying next to zipper 3 and I

open my phone so she's reading the text too and it's just a it says from Anthony am I the worst of like the three friends and I'm like next to zipper three and I opened my phone. So she's reading the text too. And it's just a, it says from Anthony, am I the worst of like the three friends? By the way, there's just French phone companies. He actually said, love you, bud,

but you just go through the French phone company and they turn into something. There's no way to send positive messages in France. It's just less amounts of anger. So is what's the answer? Did you reply? Yeah, he gave me a really thoughtful reply, and I'm like, come on, bro. You're supposed to say, yeah, go fuck yourself, and then you go, ha ha.

Yeah. See, you don't understand that. But he said- You don't get it. He said how he appreciates you as a friend and things. Yeah, no, he was- I'll read it out loud since you want to fucking act out. We're being-

Since you want to act onions. I was vulnerable. If it's a vulnerable thing, you don't have to. Right after I woke up. You woke up, you cried a little bit, went and got a baguette.

He said, I think you and me, I always saw as the closest for a long time. And it's interesting because I think last year my relationship with Nick and Ludwig grew a lot.

And I know it's a cop out, but I really think it's about even between the three of you for a different reason. That's so sweet. What's the different reason? And then I was like, can I ask why you asked?

I said, no, kill yourself. Oh, you don't want to do this? Oh, so you don't want to join the Marines? You don't want to join the Marines? It's actually about me now. Shout out to the sponsor of the podcast, Kids Bob. Yeah. Hey, there's another one on the spreadsheet for Ludwig making that joke, by the way.

Influencers. Wow. I haven't played a lot of Warzone. Dude. Have you? Yeah, I've been playing. I'm addicted to Warzone. Oh, solo?

No, I played in full squads, dude. With who? Who were you playing with? I played with Ryan. I played with Steve. I was thinking about this. Who is Steve? Oh, this is my balls.

It's my balls. Steve will do it from now. Steve is the DP director of Ludwig's car explosion shoot. Or DP, sorry. He's a DP director and he was the DP on that. Dan was the director.

Right. And it's funny because he's actually very good at Warzone. And it's funny because like... Hold up, hold up, hold up. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Is! Oh! Is it over? Is it over? Is that one over?

That one's off. Oh, my God. Oh, so I... Just to recap this... Lana put... Lana put a bunch of wax on the shaft. Oh, my God. It's so gross.

Dude, there's so much hair left. Dude. Oh, my fucking God. Oh, fuck. So, he had. It looks like I left a gusher under my shoe for a year. Oh, dude, that is gross. Lana's holding it up like she got a fucking big mouth bass. Yeah, Lana holding it up.

Oh! Oh! Oh! God damn it. It's crazy because Lana's ripping it so, like, you rip it so, like, powerfully, and then you hold it up like a kid with her drawing. Yeah. Like, so pridefully, and it's awesome. all my doing great this is kind of like yeah exactly

you're a fantastic job I just so funny it's his penis in the greatest job ever it's kind of like what it would sound like if you were crowning I feel like this is gonna be such an intense like feeling that experience. You'll never be able to cum again. That's not true. It's going to take away all. You try me, bro. Is cum stored in the balls? With pee.

Yes. No. Cum's not stored in the balls, is it? You know when you drink pee? No, it's stored. We actually talked to a scientist yesterday. We learned this. There's no way cum is stored in the balls.

Okay, hold on. So when you drink, you know when you drink piss? Yeah. So when you drink piss, your body knows, kind of like how medicine, like when you get Advil, it knows where the pain is. So the pee just goes directly to the balls. It skips all of the inside, just goes right to the balls. And it gets like Veruca salt.

Yeah. So if you drink pee, you pee it out like instant. It's like vitamin C. It's like a yellow Veruca salt. I know he's fucking with me, but cum is definitely not short of the balls. Cum is... No. That's what your balls are for.

No, I think it's are for. Why would my balls shrivel to a brazen? Wait, you're saying... Hold on. No, your balls are not just a single thing.

There's a bunch of parts to your balls and they make the different parts that make your cum. See, women, we don't know about our shit either,

so don't get mad. Don't brag about this. Don't brag about this. Does the cup shrivel up? What? If a cup is full of water, you dump it out, is the cup shriveled up?

My balls aren't... Things can store things. Oh, that's actually out. Is the cup shriveled up? My balls aren't cup. Things can store things. Oh, that's actually fair. No, the balls are the cup. No, I ate it. I ate it. No. Anyway, New York was chill.

That's cool. Performance was good. Saj was doing this thing, by the way, where he keeps trying to gaslight me into thinking that he went to ASU with me. I was like, bro. Back when we were stunt doubles, dude. Why is this so funny? He was like he was watch cuz we're in the getting pedos and he was watching the news and it was like it's real hot You know and we're like off Mike better be careful cuz he's Mike's in the deserts like that for like Arizona back

We're Sun Devils to get real hot. Oh Be like yeah Marsha, right Then you'd be like, yeah, Marsha, right? At the quad There's no quad It's called the MU We hang out in the quad and there was Breslin Breslin, fucking Triler, do you remember Rush League?

The dumb part The dumb part about all this is that he's literally Met three of the people I went to college with When he went to New York And didn't name them, he named Breslin and Marsha. Yeah. Because we remember those guys. How do you think? Yeah. He met them. They were all there together, though. There's no reason

to not name them. I know it was more like the deep cuts. These are people you wouldn't remember. You know what I'm saying? It was kind of like a club thing. You didn't get really involved in a lot of the club school. You're in the smash improv corner, so you might not have known Breslin. You didn't get really involved in like. I got involved. A lot of the club. I did get involved. Yeah, you did. You were in the smash improv corner, so you might not have known Breslin.

You didn't know Breslin. And Breslin. Breslin was crazy. Breslin was crazy. Yeah, he was. Yes, he was. You think he wasn't. Dude, do you remember we went to that morning bar and Breslin was there. You weren't there.

He started doing two shots at once. Two shots at once. Two shots at once. At 9 a.m. That was the thing with Breslin. He never did one shot at once. Yeah. He always did two. King once. Two shots at once at 9 a.m. That was the thing with Bresley. He never did one shot at once. He always did two. Why are you here too?

He's such a king, bro. You guys went to the morning bar without me? No, I just graduated after you. I just graduated after you. And he graduated like 20 years before me. No, bro. I was an NTS. He started late.

I was an NTS. Yeah, non-traditional student. Don't say the acronym and then what it means because you might not have known okay ghost on ghost on never talking sweet you didn't know about the other yeah that makes a lot of sense but yeah rush was cool and uh rush for what for what club what'd you rush for club rush for club obviously club go club that was what we checked you had to rush for a frat you don't rush for a club yeah you rush for frat dude this guy you know what he always got clowned he always got clowned and it never changed i remember i

remember when you showed up he's like i'm here for frat now. He's like, bro, you should not tell a lot of people that. Oh, my God. You fell for it. And you chatted go club, and that was cool. Go club. Go club. Let's go club. Okay.

Yeah. Fuck, man. Too many shots, and the rest is sold, too. Breslin fucking. He died. Fuck, bro. It was fucked up. That was the last thing we went to before COVID shut the whole shit down.

We were at Breslin's funeral. It was crazy. Yeah. It was fucked up, bro. You weren't there. I wasn't. That was what was fucked up, That was the last thing we went to before COVID shut the whole shit down. We were at Breslin's funeral. It was crazy. Yeah, it was fucked up, bro. You weren't there. That was what was fucked up, too. It was like, that's how you know you didn't know Breslin very well. It was like, you would have gone. Shit went up, though.

I almost want to say, I never met Breslin. Shit went up, dude. We fucking, we cleared like a 30 rack per like every two people, bro. This went from like us having hung out to like you three just went to ASU separate of me and we didn't cross our paths you were go clubbing you were the ASU alumni I feel like you're brushing us off

we went to every improv performance you did and you want to make it sound like we weren't even fucking there what was the improv group called yes and entertainment it was Tempe late called? Yes and Entertainment. Yes and.

It was Tempe late night, bro. Me and Anthony would crush Skittles Vodka and watch you guys, you know, fucking do your shit out there. Dude, fuck, bro. One time I was so trashed at the end of your show, I came up to you and I said, good job because I thought you were a different guy. One time I started the go club chant, but I was still in my dorm. I didn't realize that was so high off the weed, dude. Yeah, dude.

We had some good times. We had some good ass times. It was a good few years. I like that. That's some of my best rows there. Yeah. So, concert was good, though. Here's the thing.

I know it. Ray is on the... Lex is on the... Mig is left of Lex and right of Ray. So, Lex is on the far right. Mig is next to Lex. Aiden's on the far right Make his next selects aimed on the far right a member. We have some rays next to them in Lois one of the middle two spaces Okay, look let's get out of here Bring it back, Sipnod! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no people it's a race I'm gonna get rid of them it's 20% off hey kiddo an annual premium

subscription join me yeah join join me join Ludwig on his evil quest I want 200 of you to kill him with me

to kill all the robots and the wires on brilliant alright brilliant.org slash the yard 200 you get 20% off that's it for this

ad read we're going back to the episode once you're signed up they send you the cartridge in the mail so alright goodbye fuck your brains going back to the episode. Once you're signed up, they send you the cartridge in the mail. Alright, goodbye. Fuck your brains, boy!

Back to the episode. Let's go fuck you! Everyone, don't do that. What do you think the Pontian Llama is? Why are you saying sucking on its titties like it's a cow? Do you know what the Pontian Llama is? It's not a llama. Do you think it's a llama? Tell me you don't think it's a llama. Tell me you know the Pontian Llama is not a llama. I feel like you're so sure that it isn't that you're probably right.

But you thought it was a llama? No, y'all don't hear me. I said I punch with the llama. Do you not know this? What the fuck are you talking about? Jesus Christ, dude. Do you know the Dalai Lama? Yeah.

All right, religious leader. Of course. Do you know how it's decided who becomes the Dalai Lama? By a guy? Yes. So 100 people drop from a plane. There's one place called Tomato Town. It's not even there anymore.

Rest in peace. Honestly, Rip Mater. Rip Mater. Rip Mater on the screen. So there's the Dalai Lama who's chosen by the Panchen Lama. And the Panchen Lama and the Panchen Lama is like that's like their main role was abducted by

the Chinese Communist Party 25 years ago and they say he is alive and well and gave up the religion of Buddhism and is happy and we haven't heard from him and he's alright man yes it's been like fucking 30 years some shit right yeah it's been a long time and the Dalai Lama is old and so when the Dalai Lama lies

When the Dalai Lama dies and lies. Yeah like Gil Cisneros Thank god Gil did fucking lie Gil did fucking lie Like Gil bro There will never be another Dalai Lama at least officially because the Panchen Lama cannot decide the next one Whoa, is there a Mughal male on this? There will never be another Dalai Lama at least officially because the pension llama cannot decide the next one whoa Is there a muggle male on this?

Yeah, it's right after you know I don't know why I knew this, but I just I think I watched a video on it. I was curious. This is crazy We really should be streaming about and this is this is Still gone yeah, you not 30 years all right nice It's it's I mean it'll be a new story when the Dalai Lama dies But that is that's the reality and I think it's cuz the Chinese government hates any real I knew it that is not you could save The pinch and I'll get me in there. No I can become the next Dalai Lama So you're not the punch in Lama you're just gonna be next Dalai Lama. He'd pick the Dalai Lama. So you're not the Panchen Lama, you're just gonna be the Dalai Lama.

Yeah. You know the Dalai Lama is one spirit that travels in the afterlife. Is this spirit a Lama? I'm sorry, am I two spirits traveling? The spirit is not a Lama, no. The spirit can go in him, presumably. Is it like a Patronus? The Dalai Lama is alive.

Come check on me. The day he dies, come check on me. There's no way there's not. Come knock on my door. Dude, come in the room. I'm not saying I'm going to have two feet on the ground or anything, but I might be up in the air. I might be cross-legged levitating. What do you think the Dalai Lama does? It's like a Criss Angel type thing. He just performs in the Vegas of Tibet.

He's like, hello, I'm the Dalai Lama. Check this shit out. Check your pockets. Check your pockets. He kind of floats on stage. He does his thing for like 60 minutes. Like hello on the Dalai Lama check this shit out He kind of floats on stage he does his thing for like 60 minutes That's actually who can pick the next Dalai Lama. We'll just have Shane Lim do it. A random audience member comes up. You're the Dalai Lama. From Rhode Island. She's 45.

Damn. We should give Shane Lim more power in general. I think finding a way to make him... He's a magician. He has enough power. That's what the Chinese Communist Party has to do. They come out with a llama and they'll be like, you'll never believe what happened. You guys remember Ponchin?

Bro's different now. I get called to the office within the hour. I'm in big trouble. I don't know what the fuck... You're still doing it in the office? Yeah. The person peeking through the door. What's up, y'all y'all hey guys i need help opening this one

the woman at the desk is like can you sign in and he's like i can't you go to the principal's office she's also doing it she's like hey could you sign in and be like you know you heard of me bro you hear what i did anyway uh i'm coming back actually i'm stuck like this this might be a whole episode thing all right so so so i go into the office and jenny's there i'm there and i'm like what is going on and the principal like sit down and i'm like oh fuck yeah you're fucked apparently this person very recently had her father lose an arm to an electricity accident. Oh. Yeah.

And it was something that has like torn their family apart. Like, like so recently. And I am presumed to have known this and did this to fuck with her. Well, to be fair, why the fuck else would you be doing it? Because I have been doing it all day and in science class i i literally could like he's got a good case i was like bring in bring in the fucking science teacher we were doing this shit and we got yelled at bring it like it's a court case in it dude like phoenix right it's like bring in my first witness

your honor i just find this really funny it's phoenix right he's trying to point but he has like the sleeve is just drooping past his arm that's not there dude and then x brought up her tweet then tweeted about it directly yeah he like quote retweeted her and then well q deleted it she was getting a lot of shit and then x got the screenshot of it and then tweeted it out again talking like don't fucking where i come, we don't subtweet people. And it's like, well, you're from Quebec, so I don't know. What he actually meant is nobody in Quebec knows how to use a computer.

You don't subtweet because you haven't figured out tweeting. Can you smoke it? It's funny when you talk about drama like this, because it's like this And then bro tweeted Just saying the word tweeted it feels so soft It's like yeah they rolled up to our hood with water guns Twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers The actual reason is in Quebec

When you have a problem with somebody You go to their door and you schedule an ice fishing trip And then you go out and do that together Apropos of nothing, I saw a tweet, it was Spongebob eating the glove candies from when they hit

Rock Bottom, and it just said, Spongebob, like, started popping pills in the ops hood. Bob was wild for that. I'm gonna call him Bob.

I sent it to Zeke, and we were just marveling over how funny it was to call him Bob. It's so simple. It's really quick to paint the scenario a little bit more detail. Slime is playing Valorant on stream every day. He is hard stuck silver currently trying to get to plat.

And he wears his shirt on his head. And he just basically tries his goddamn hardest and hopes his teammates are good. I try really hard. He tries really hard. I believe that. And he usually ends up top one two sometimes three on the team and i'm i'm uh at the summit studio this weekend and we're sitting around like a computer and like five people are watching you play no way i'm sitting there with a straw and

i'm like it's like i'm showing someone a tv show that they haven't seen but i've seen it and i'm sitting there and aiden like opens the door and i go, oh, it's going to get bad. No way. You saw this live? Yeah. I watched all this live and I'm like, he shouldn't have walked in. And then like he turned around and I see, then you died.

I'm like, yeah, it's going to happen. And then, and then I, I see slime's face turn to like, what's about to be like, you know,

it's like in dark souls when like the power, like they, they telegraph what their big move is going to be. And you're like, oh, I know this pattern. All right. Yeah.

Aiden, you're going to want to close the door and back up. That way you don't get hit by the huge attack. You have to dodge roll. And yeah, you just start blowing up on Aiden. And then you ban him. And I'm in chat. And I go, hey, you missed his other account. Because I was like, he only banned the one with Asian characters.

He didn't ban Calvin. Yeah, your Valorant account. So I was like, hey, hey you're gonna want to go back and ban the other one you missed it you're saying removed him from my friends list yeah

because I did ban him from chat sorry removed from friends list yeah and so I removed from my friends list and then I got banned yeah because you

because I thought you had unbanned him no so I unmodded you and then banned you I was fucking working doing a meeting and I get out of the meeting

and I'm banned in SlimeShack. This is my... I started having a lot of fun with this because I was like, I'm the one man he can't take down. Because I was like, I'm going to go downstairs. I have four computers in this house that I can unban myself on. Yeah, I'm logged in on a lot of computers. So I went down to Ludwig's computer first. I unbanned myself yeah i'm logged in on a lot of computers i went down to ludwig's computer first

i unbanned me and then and then i i typed something to chat again fucking instantly banned he's like how the fuck did you come back and then ludwig had come upstairs to the kitchen and i was like love me love me love me can you it was fun can you a baby it was a baby So you did do it You fucking lied to me That was later Wait a minute This is Minutes before This is And I

It's the situation It's not one to one But I want to describe What happened 30 minutes before In my room Before any of this happened Okay

Alright It's not the same Wait what happened But It It was is it incriminating i mean i am sitting on my bed i am in my room alone sitting on my bed on my phone and and my anthony walks into my room with a hammer and walks walks front of me and says, what are you doing? And I'm just like, what? Like, I don't know. I'm on my phone.

And he takes the hammer and he fucking hits my wall full force. There is a hole in my drywall. What the fuck? We live here. And then he left the room so so as far as intrusions go you are actually absolved of all sin yeah you win oh my god i just wanted to mention that i can't believe you didn't bring it up earlier how did you walk in the room on some asian speaking and not bring that up this just happened yeah this is like a few days ago.

I think you actually don't have a lot of aches. My aches with you is actually it's just you have too much stuff again. It makes me stressed. We have the same ache. We're ache brothers. I feel like my ache is a slightly alternate version of this. It is specifically

Amazon streams. Every time you do an Amazon stream, I want to end my life in the atrium of our home. But I'll accept it. Yes, it is specifically amazon streams every time you do an amazon stream i want to end my life in the atrium of our home but i'll accept it yes it is no because it needs to relate to many people i relate to it a lot no many it's when you have your life it's when you it's a different thing they're different things there. There's problems. There's X. You get if it is an ache. If I say that the Amazon boxes make me not want to fuck you. I would say that like the ick is that you don't care. Excess trash. Maybe it could be a Nick.

Yeah. To get it. The ick is that you literally don't care. If you were going over to someone's house and you're going to have sex with them and you went and they had a ton of Amazon boxes everywhere. Yeah. Then you're like, now I don't want to fuck them because of that. It's an ick.

But the ick is not that they do an Amazon stream live. He's right about that. Oh, I don't care about the stream. Right. So I'm just rephrasing the ick. I hate the boxes. I hate the boxes that appear after you've done an Amazon stream.

Also, you know that. You know what he's saying. I was just clarifying for the viewers that are listening that might not. Yeah, Amazon streams are fine. I went to Sykuno Ray's in Myung's and Yvonne's house and Buzzy's house.

And that shit. That's an Amazon warehouse. It is an ache I know it's an ache because I've seen their shit and they got I mean five streamers. Jesus Ludwig Sure got a lot of boxes. You talk like someone in a porno that's about to start fucking. That's pretty good right? Tell me how this sounds like that. They have a beautiful cat. Am I gonna say that? Am I fine? Dude, we were... Me and Zeke were running that shit. Dude, what was it?

It was Ludwig... It was Sykuno and Ludwig do something. I guess there's no loads refused. And we don't escalate. We leave it at that. That was great. Short and sweet. He says it with such regret in his voice.

Dude, come crud and balls. In between the episodes, I found this horse that sounds exactly like Aiden's mom. That is so mean. So his mom sounds like a horse. That is so mean to my mom. Why are you saying his mom is a hooved animal? I thought you liked hanging out with my mom. She's so sweet, by the way. Oh, he does.

This is what we sound like when we hang out. That's us hanging out, Aiden. What ended up being Aiden's mom. Aiden's mom. Aiden's mom. Aiden Would've ended up Aiden's mom Aiden's mom Aiden's mom My mom Aiden's mom

She's too nice That was over the line Come on dude You went over the line She's gonna visit soon I'm excited for that I'm the horsey now Don't be excited about it

In like a normal way I keep a big stick on me That's what I mean When I say big stick I mean a horse with a Horse Horse stick Suck my fucking dick If you don't smoke Cat I meant I went to That's what I mean when I say big stick. I had a wonderful time too. I actually had a wonderful time.

I got you a surprise gift. What is the surprise gift? That can cheer you up. This fucking shit? No! It's- Zipper, can you run it? Zipper. What, you got something cute?

Hey Zipper, spin that shit. This is- This is good. Okay, another song? I woke up Aiden's cringe. I waited Aiden's cringe just to figure out that Aiden is cringe. Dude!

Aiden's really cringe and Aiden's smoking weed. It's really cringe. When Aiden is really cringe. Cause Aiden's cringe. Aiden is cringe. Aiden is cringe Aiden's cringe Aiden's cringe dude

Aiden is cringe because he's smoking weed and Aiden is very cringe Aiden's cringe wait wait wait what what the fuck oh shit we're getting into it now boys no no way you know what the lyrics are where the fuck did you get this made did you just go on Fiverr and get somebody to fucking make this? Dude, just sing along. No, I'm not gonna fucking sing! It's my birthday.

Shut up. Nobody asked. Listen to the music. You are not part of this. You are. Shut up. Wait. 34 minutes past the hour on 107.9. The George waiting.

A little bit of a smooth Christmas. You're a psycho, dude. You're a fucking psycho. How did you guys not tell me about this? Just a little bit of a smooth Christmas track for you on 107.5 The Jordan. Yeah, I hit a... Oh, my God. Why is, like, one in every eight lines about smoking weed?

It's all you do is be crazy and smoke weed. I hit up XX Girlfriend. Had them spin this up. And DJ, spin that shit. Is there more? Oh, yeah. Just a couple. Just a couple.

This one's my favorite one. Dude, there's so many. There's a choir. They got a a choir. They got a fucking choir. Dude, dude, you fucking peaked, man. Dude, you peaked. This is my favorite classical piece. Lacrimosa, Mozart? Yeah.

Yeah. Aidan's Cringe by Mozart? Yeah. Yeah. He really... Wolfgang really snapped on this one. I wonder who his inspiration was. Who was his Aidan? It's hard to think about, right? Yeah. Yeah. He really, Wolfgang really snapped on this one. I wonder who his inspiration was. Who was his Aiden? It's hard to think about, right? It was so long ago.

But then you think that it wasn't that long ago. Yeah. It wasn't. In the grand scheme. This is amazing. All right. Final song. Final song.

I'm so conflicted. Just one final. Final. There's one final. It's coming home? It's coming home. We're at the football game. This is what played when England lost the Euro final. It played on you. And the few years you spent.

That is so fucking funny, man. You didn't know about that? I thought you did. I didn't tell. No one told me. I only told you about it. Yeah. We listened to it on the way when we went and saw Batman.

And I was like, this is good. This is art. Speaking of traumatizing our cats, Aiden comes in the fucking room last night while we're doing postcards. He's got, he's got a bunch of like

outlet converters because we're going to Australia in his hands and he turns around. I think he's just still holding them like doing something but he's just turning around kind of fiddling with nothing

and me and Yingling are like looking over like what is he doing? And then you hear human piss start to hit the ground I think he's just still holding them like doing something, but he's just turning around kind of fiddling with nothing. And me and Yingling are like looking over like, what is he doing? And then you hear human piss start to hit the ground in our house. And he just starts peeing on the floor. Like he's sleepwalking. What the fuck is wrong with you?

And me and Nick for like five full seconds. It's like, it's like when you think you're going to drink milk, but it's Sprite. And like, yeah, there's nothing wrong with Sprite, but you're like, wait,

you're trying to figure out what your brain's trying to figure out what's going on in the world i was like and i'm realizing me i realize he's peeing on the floor and then i'm like i i literally i don't even ask him i just lean to yingling i go he's peeing yeah and he just keeps peeing and then he's wrong and then he puts up he pulls his pants up and he turns around and he's just got a little bit of dribble and his belt undone. And then he just starts laughing. And he goes, I thought that would be funny.

Walk me through. And then he starts cleaning it with Febreze. Really? Why did you choose a good cleaner? Just because it's chemicals doesn't mean it cleans. You start spraying. That's a deodorizer. Fabric deodorizer on it and wiping it around.

Why did you do that? Why did you select that one? Also, not much room to talk. No, no, I'm just curious. We went to the hallway closet where we put all the cleaning supplies and there was only one bottle. Did you look under the sink of the kitchen where that shit usually is? You didn't go there, did you? So I grabbed it.

I grabbed it without thinking and started cleaning with it. And then somebody added in the Twitter post, they were like, it's another layer of insanity that he's cleaning this with Febreze. And then I looked at the bottle, and I was like,

oh, that's not disinfectant. Wow. So I went up to the kitchen and I was like, oh, that's not disinfectant. Wow. So I went up to the kitchen. I cleaned everything again. Coots was curious all night about what's going on right here. Did Coots drink any of your piss? No. Like his milk from his saucer?

Did you give a small child cat your piss to drink? I really don't know. I deadass asked my mom once, may God rest her soul in hell, where she... What? You like that one? She did pass away.

My mom is dead. What? That's why I was laughing. Ask about his dad. What happened to your dad? He died 10 feet away from me in January. Why are you so casual about this? Why is it so funny, Eamon?

Why are you speaking so casually about this? Because how else are you supposed to speak about it? It's not funny. I would imagine... When you're laughing, you find it funny? Well, the part of rest in hell. That part is funny. That's funny. My mom died a long tough long enough time ago to where i

can say that as a joke and it's still fun she was great anyway my mom i love it like a side note like she's great she's a great person but she uh she's in hell now and she what she did i remember i asked her i was like mom why am i circumcised she's just like i just wanted i wanted you to have a good looking penis like she cared about that because she herself was like in her life it's like oh whatever i say an uncut penis just like oh i've got it the cultural thing stepped into her mind it's so weird i've got a lifetime of neutral to positive reviews i've never had a bad experience who asked me yeah it know all these fucking people I just want to educate you real quick because your birth vlog reminded me of this Because I used to watch exclusively Vlog content growing up

Can we even say The channel name anymore? What channel? The Shaytards? Yeah that's fine to say Yeah it was the Shaytards We lived in an era where one of the largest and most successfully monetized channels on youtube was a family vlogging channel called shaytards well it's not like it was like my

calling themselves that it's not it was not his kid's name plus like retard it's not the goal it was specifically leotard oh oh what Oh, what? Yeah. So they call themselves the Shaytards because some leotard thing. I forget exactly the word. No way most people know that. I did not know that. Everyone who watched would know that, but if you just knew of them, which is obviously more because impressions are bigger than views, then you wouldn't.

But he was... And you take advice of the day. Impressions are bigger than views. They were like a really big vlog channel. I loved watching them because I had like a small family. It was just like three bigger than views they were like a really big vlog channel I loved watching them because I had like a small family it was like three of us and they had like a big family because they were Mormon and they fucked a lot without protection yeah raw shit

they only fucked raw shit shut up they only busted in pussies only and so they were known for like their large family they had like several kids and it was all like like the name so it would be like several kids, and it was all like like the name So it'd be like like kid tard and baby tard We know we made this channel up

Actually, they would they would be like the nickname so it'd be like like Shit yeah, it was baby. What were the can you go through the name zipper? It was I know his baby That's that's the that's rapper Nick Was Mario at Scam Luigi what are the names ever hold I don't know I don't want to mess this up and tinky-winky To keep them anonymous yes,. So it was Mommy Tard, Son Tard. It says Tard. I like the... I like the Rock Tard and Bro Tard.

These are just Mega Man bosses. I like to think that I'm a Bro Tard, but I think I'm more of a Mommy Tard. I think it's just Malachi and Zeke. Those are dogs. These are all the... Dog Tard? No, Dog Tard. These are all the evolutions.

I'm for sure rocktard. Rocktard is definitely a Pokemon name. Oh my god. They would vlog big family, big family like eight of them in their wholesome family adventures and i who always wanted a bigger family because i loved you by the dozen to watch these people

yeah they had like big christmas unboxings and all this and they'd hang out do fun things and then one day uh it is up love tarts dude if i could go back and change one thing... He never would have made it. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have. No, no, no. It's because of... It's like because of a leotard thing.

It's like shit. It's like the channel from back then. It's actually chill. It's actually chill. Or maybe it's unitard. What's the difference? I don't know. Anyway, one day dad-tard.

Up until then, I just... When you're a kid and you're acting, you're just kind of winging it. You're saying in The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, you're winging it. Kind of, yeah. I mean, I was like 10 years old. Like an Oscar-winning movie.

I was 10 years old. You're like, I don't know. I guess I got pajamas. It's like Maple Leaf when you're a kid and you're just making shit up. And when you're a kid and you're just like making shit up. And when you're older you kind of have all of these things you get embarrassed about. When you're that age, you don't really give a shit. That's interesting. I've never really thought about like, as you get older,

your propensity to be embarrassed is just so much higher. That's not true. You're fucking lying. Here's why. Okay. Hold on, my friend has your experience. He wants to talk. I did a Christmas play, and I was a candy flute. No, this really happened. I was a candy flute, and it was the Nutcracker.

It was a Christmas play. I, at the time, was grounded because I put salmon in my pocket. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Why? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. You got grounded by your parents because you had salmon in your pocket. I can't just tell a story like the fish.

And then I also had a shot collar on and my friends let a bear into the room. What was it? You just had fish in your pocket and your parents said, this is groundable. He just can't fucking let me be. Let him be me! I can't believe it. He's not on your side. And your parents said this is groundable. I deal with it every day. He just can't fucking let me be. Let him be me.

I can't believe it. He's not on your side. Listen to me. So I got fucking grounded because I hated eating fish, and my mom made salmon for dinner. And so I fucking. So you put it in your pocket. I put it in my pocket when she wasn't looking. I like took a filet of salmon.

That's so gross. And just put it in my pants pocket, like my front pocket. You know these corduroy suits and my favorite pair of pants? I put it in there and just forgot about it. So that night, actually, she does laundry. I'm like 10. How do you forget about a fillet in your pocket? I'm like in my room.

She's like, what the fuck is this? And she comes out and she's screaming at me i'm like oh oh that's my pocket fish i was like you got me like i hate fish ground me for a week but that's side of the point she my my my play she said like the play isn't something i desperately wanted to do but she was like you're going this is school okay i don't give a shit i'm gonna drive you you're gonna do your play but you're still grounded and I'm like okay that's fine

it was actually really fun but they made me a candy flute so we had like 13 of us we were candy flutes but they made the costume I was the last one

to get a costume here's all of them here's how tall they are here's mine do you understand the problem there black sheep I was the fucking

tiny candy flute I was pissed I tell the teacher why is mine smaller than everyone else's? You know what she said? It's a magic one. Wow. Did that sell you?

Did you think I believed her? Fuck no. Of course not. Pocket Salmon Boy doesn't believe you. I went out there. He's like, this is ridiculous. He's like taking bits of salmon out of his pocket and popping them. Like tots in Napoleon Dynamite.

He's just got chunks of salmon. I went out there. I was a candy flute and I was fucking Wait, what is a candy flute? This is like an American thing. I'm just accepting this.

I don't know. I don't know what the fuck it is either. In the Nutcracker, it's like you're a maybe it's like candy it was like a candy cane flute. Like the musical instrument?

Like the floor? Yeah, yeah. It's like a flute made of candy, but it was really just a cardboard cylinder that was painted that the kids got into. Look, Tchaikovsky was fucking high when he wrote that shit. You were in some outfit. I was letting his vision come to life. Have you seen The Nutcracker? I actually have when I was a kid. It was like the Sugar Plum Fairy and people run into her skirt and then they run out. Really? It's a whole thing whole thing dude a lot of it's why i've watched it every year for 14 years straight why because my sister was in

ballet oh i thought you meant like that makes way was there any crossover with you watching that every year for 14 years straight and shaving your ass was it one no there's not and don't need to bring that up and i do remember one year i watched i was like what a short fucking candy flute what a cringe idiot. If you watched my play, you would have been blown away by my skills and then disgusted

that they put me in the short one. So what I'm saying is Asa lied because I was embarrassed. It wasn't make-believe. I didn't believe it was magic.

And that's why I didn't pursue acting. That's why I'm not in your chair. You could have been bald. Are you still embarrassed about it? You seem embarrassed

about it, man. Yeah. You still seem free. You seem hung up. I'm not embarrassed, but I literally think about it? You seem embarrassed about it, man. You still seem pretty... I'm not embarrassed, but I literally think about it. Is this just like a therapy session for you guys? Is this basically what this podcast ends in? I still get kind of mad. That's all I'm saying. And then one celebrity, he will say something out of pocket about it.

I've never said anything. No. You know what fucking Aiden did yesterday? He comes in the living room all excited. And he goes, look what I bought. And he pulls out a really nice jacket. And I go, that's a nice jacket. And he goes look what I bought And he pulls out a really nice jacket And I go that's a nice jacket And he goes but I also bought a matching sweater And it's the same as the jacket but it's a sweater And then he put them both on

And he's like I just liked how they looked together And I was like what That's a bad use of money you bought the same thing two times That's like having Yeah that's really He was like the mannequin was wearing it I'm like they probably just didn't have a place to put it. He looked like the mannequin.

And he's like that in me. He said that looked like Flat Stanley, which is what I look like. And I want to look like that. Can we make this ad read sexy? Yeah, let's make it sexy. Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone. You like spending money on me?

You like putting money on my tight little thong while he spits on me and calls me names that aren't mine but are still human names? I spit in your butt. Ping. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your wanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills all in one place. I'm so nasty for you, Nick. We're both in all – I'm all in your place. I'm in your place. I'm all in your place. I'm in your place. I'm all in your place right now.

You're in my place now. And look. And you're saving money with Rocket Money. Dude, I knew a guy in high school who had Rocket Money. He died. Yeah? His family had a lot of money, but it didn't matter because he died. I put my money into a rocket, and then I fired it into the sun because fiat is not real, guys.

The true future is in our new cryptocurrency yard coin no and yard coin will make you rich look money's real and you have to learn how to manage it and not waste it like aiden look at him he's not even here he wasted his money so bad he disintegrated he's probably at the montclair store eating the shoelaces off the shoes. Like spaghetti. Like spaghetti. And saying, well, yeah, it's good quality. I like to eat egglets. It's like they got sriracha aioli and you dip it in the shoelaces. Right.

So, look, let's get you back to the best of. But before we go, stop throwing your money away. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. And manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash the R. Or go to rockets.com and see if they sell explosives and send me one so anime was like completely off the table wow i already was struggling in the social hierarchy of like i was in like the mid-range of the lads yeah yeah because i didn't play i didn't play football uh not american football i didn't play soccer you

didn't play football thank god you translated it because i was confused are you fucking get fucking with me no all right but it's such a serious thing come on man it's it's a way it's well if you ain't fucking playing football with my era it's he was really butcher from the Boys. Yeah. Yeah, it's- Fuck you, what you doing? This is fucking diabolical. Does Dan Cook have a super hot romantic interest in the movie?

Yes. He always does that. He sneezed! He sneezed! Come on, man. And he was an atheist. I do love Dan Cook bits. You ever just drink and milk and it's just like-

That's my Dan Cook. That's my Dan Cook bit. I was- I was at the 7-Eleven. You were just drinking milk, and it's just like 11 I was at 7-eleven and I went up to the guy said I'll cut your fucking head off your fucking head off of my mouth And my teeth in my knife. He was just like what are you talking Canyon Dane cook? Yeah? Mr.. Circle perform live in the quad today is There's no quad, but yeah, do you think dogs can differentiate between like a dog's pussy like a human's pussy a hundred percent yeah you're wondering if dogs can differentiate between pussy like i think you feel like you're if you're a white woman that's a great question and you're getting i feel like we and a rottweiler is going to town on you okay yeah and and it's And its name is like Bruce.

Right. Okay. And Bruce is just fucking... It's just nailing you like a fucking hound. That's what he is. Like a dog. As a hound.

Like a hound. Like a... As a hound. Because he's a Rottweiler and a hound... Is a different... Different type of dog. Different class.

But he's, you know, he's going, and so... Do you think that Bruce is like, damn, this is... This hits different. What what is this i see yeah so you're not saying can do they know that it's not a dog you're saying do they have preference it's actually the first one the first one okay i have a piece you're wondering if they know they're fucking a human he's to throw in the ring here yeah that apparently like embedded in their dna dogs can

understand humans pointing oh do you think it's embedded in their dna the inside of a white woman's vagina yeah if it was a two out of ten i would have fucking found a desert eagle and used it on what you have to be clear on my dick and balls. My smooth dick and balls. That's actually heroic. For fucking disappointing me. Would that even hurt? I feel like it would just do so much damage.

No, Nick, it wouldn't hurt. I feel like it would. I feel like it would. I feel like. No. Oh my God. Nick is dumb. It's so easy to make that sound dumb.

I know. No, no, no. He's right, you guys. It wouldn't hurt at all to blow your genitals off with a fucking 50 cal handgun no it wouldn't type of conversation that led to that one dude dying because they thought the book would that streamers ask when they want to make conversation i was thinking about it and i was like when you're describing the mormon picture it was like man if

cutie's lucky that me and her aren't together, because I would have killed her entire family. They sound so annoying. She sounds lucky. Yeah. Yeah, she is lucky. That was a real stroke of luck. God bless. They're great.

I actually don't mind hanging out with them at all. Even though they make like stock photos of people? Yeah, like Cutie was more annoyed at that than i was interesting she was like mad and i was like whatever man we'll just take pictures it's what's easy when you're the guest right it's like you're just along for the ride but when you're with your family it's like it's the whole iceberg of like every time you're like your i don't know your parents were like fucking assholes or something like that yeah i do have like uh like we went to we went to a Brazilian steakhouse and it was supposed to be all 17 of us. Like eight kids.

And we had a giant table in the back. That's when before they cook the steak, they shave it's pussy first. That makes it Brazilian. I was trying to think. Yeah. It took me so long. Eight kids.

You shouldn't be wasting steaks on kids either. I hope they had some fucking Well, what happened is we sat down. We shouldn't be wasting steaks on I'm. I hope they had some fucking Well, what happened is we sat down. We shouldn't be wasting steaks on I'm just saying. That's so funny. I fucking Within 30 seconds,

they decided they were leaving. All the parents. Because the kids were all crying. They're like, I can't eat it. And like, you just don't want to deal with that. And it's annoying to everyone else.

So they're like, all right, we're just going to fucking go. Kiddo's losing it. She's like, I told you it was a steakhouse. I told you it was brilliant. I sent you the menu.

You didn't look at it. And I was like, and I stole, they had these cheesy garlic bread sticks. I put them in a bag, like 15 of them. And I just handed it out to the kids. What bag?

I had the bag to buy these corduroys. So it was like a Target bag? Yeah. And I just had a bunch of bread knots in them. You just swoop in to be nice to these kids. You're showing them daily doses of bread. It has like powdered

latex coating the inside. It's a tag on it. It's like, wait, this is $60? What the fuck? No, you treat kids worse than you treat yourself. You pull out the little

oxygen baggie. You're like, I don't know. You can have this one. It says do not eat, but you won't die. It's fine. Three times at Disney,

they dropped the Popsicle on the ground. I picked it up, poured water on it, gave it right back to them. Oh, and they ate it up? Yeah. Like a little animal? If it was my old Popsicle, I'm like, the seasoned Popsicle. Don't need that.

It tastes better that way. Yeah. It's got mouse dirt. Tell them to make it down south. The sweat of Disney employees. Dude, you, so wait. So we didn't go to the Brazilian. QD was losing it.

I wasn't because I'm like not, it's not my family. I guess you're always shmeep shmup. But either way, it's also your job when you're in that spot to like, because she's having a shit time and you can't have a shit time as well. Yeah. You got to be the rock. Johnson. Yeah.

So I like hanging out with him. Cool. But I feel like there's not a group of people. I would have shot him all one by one. Why? Still? I thought't get along with. I would have shot them all one by one. Why? Still? I thought I was swinging you. Did I swing you at all?

Will you leave one of the kids? Fuck no. Wow. Maybe I keep one. I line the kids up outside the steakhouse. Outside the steakhouse like it's fucking Columbia. It's the drug of life. Come here. You're my little guy now. Yeah, I keep one., like it's fucking Columbia. And it's the drug of the year. Come here.

You're my little guy now. Yeah, and I keep one. It's my little guy. And then we name that with marble. And you raise it. Don't say name that when referring to a kid. Why? One of them is coming in small.

One of them is not because we didn't have any smalls left. Wait, what? I'm going to break your fucking neck. Shut the fuck up, Ludwig. I'm going to break your neck. Are you small now? I'm going to break your neck like an animal. Do you understand me?

We didn't have any smalls left. Like a wild pig. We didn't have any smalls left. I can't imagine. I'm going to put a 22 in your mouth. I couldn't do anything about it. We ran out. I begged him.

I begged him like a pig. I got you a small of one. Because you trendy stupid fuckers. We can't get our merch. Because you trendy stupid fuckers like to use these weird blanks that are all gigantic and they all fit me like a fucking dress. My t-shirts aren't even that big. You think I'm trendy?

A medium fits me so big and I hate it. Well, it's because you're a little big. Maybe you lost weight. What are you talking about? Maybe you lost weight. I haven't. I've gained weight. Okay.

Okay, I'll try to help you. Maybe it's in your ass now. You can't be mad at me if I'm a cow. I'm just a little cow. I'm just eating grass. I'm not mad at him anymore. I will tie your dick into a knot, your foreskin. I will do it.

And then I'll give you CPR and I'll flay it and I'll be bigger. I should come clean. This thing doesn't have wheels. I didn't try that part. You didn't add trucks to it at all. That's doesn't have wheels. I didn't try that part. You didn't add trucks to it at all. I don't really know how to do this. We could bolt trucks to it, but we kind of already... You're sounding so pussy.

I'm not pussy. When you brought it up originally, I was like, you can't kickflip that. You're like, I could kickflip anything. You did say that. Archie, roll the flashback. When we hit 100k and we get our first YouTube plaque, can I kickback. Yeah, right. When we hit 100K and we get our first YouTube plaque, can I kickflip it?

Yes. Would you guys be down? Yes. You should install wheels on it. Oh, we put wheels on it, we kickflip it? Yeah. When we brought it up the first time,

you talked about attaching trucks to it. So I think you assumed you could do the trick with trucks on it. I remember that, but either way, I'm going to try. Let's get it. You want a side bet? If I land? Yeah. Or if could do the trick with trucks on it. I remember that, but either way, I'm going to try. Let's get it. You want a side bet? If I land?

Yeah. Or if I do the flip. No, not you. I'm sorry, but you. We're both in the same camp. No, wait. What do you mean? What camp are you in?

You don't think he can do it? No, I'll side bet he can get it. I'll side bet he gets it right now. Oh, no. Go, go, go, go. Oh! The double? Dude, I saw... Dude, that was it.

You succeeded to land on the thing. Okay, that was close. Did I die one more time? Yeah, yeah. One more, one more. No, God, you're scaring me, dude. Doing it on this... Hey, shut up.

If he dies, he dies. If he breaks, I'm... Give me the music. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Here we go. Christ right okay lots of weed and name is really cringe oh shit Superman yeah so the reason why did it break it it brings spiked it well it's definitely dented. So no head, Susan? So no head.

So no head? So no head. Thank you, YouTube, for the award. The reason why I'm freaking out for those, because I feel like the angle isn't very good. People know that we climb up into the set. There's a trap door. And Nick is doing the trick onto the trap door.

The trap door doesn't- Bro, I'll kickflip the trap door. Fucking keep talking. Why are you scared of that and not people making fun of your outfit? I feel like I've told this before, but fuck it. We'll go again. In school, my friend Robert, he was the guy who busted on the mirror. Oh, yeah.

Legend. Well, great guy. Legendary guy. Yeah. And at the time, we had this bit in i think eighth grade where we'd put our we put our hand in our shirt and then pull our elbow out right yeah you put your hand on your neck and you only got one arm yeah i look like chuby's depiction of me and um and so so we did this thing and we would do it all day you guys go spit on people in wheelchairs too

actually help me do both okay it's harder to look at a 30 year old man do this it's just harder gotta move my mic yeah I got you okay so so this is how it works right you're good and uh and so no audio audio listeners

sitting with his arms tucked inside his shirt so that only his elbows are sticking out of his t-shirt so it looks like he has vivus and butthead and so it looks like he's a t-rex we'd go up to each other with this configuration and like be like and like try to hug each other and it looks really funny right so anyway we're doing this we're doing this all day and uh and we're in the lunch room and this fucking robert's like bro uh put do the arm thing but wave over at we'll call her jenny he's like yo go wave over at jenny and i'm like okay and uh and i do it and i'm like hey jenny and i'm like she stands up starts crying and runs out of the cafeteria i don't like micro steve with midriff stunting on the host with it with it the Gucci M1 Abrams. My girl's on the set.

No, don't hit it now. Nobody wants to see this, man. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Wait, just to be clear. You're just a drunk guy. He has a new assistant. She's really, really nice.

And sometimes she'll be at the house. I don't know when this happens, when she comes to the house, when she's around, and when she is around. Yeah, there's no fixed schedule. I think that's something that's important. It's not that frequent. It's not like Monday through Friday, 9 to 5.

And it's irregular. Oh, round three? So you're a fucking... Bat whale of a man. We're all good. You do look like shit. Your facial hair looks like shit. Anyway, so... He said it actually. No, actually i was out of call you just said that randomly

there was no context no he said it affected him and so i made sure to wound him live on the podcast because i'm the everybody thinks it because i'm the evil guy remember guys because me and amen because i hate amen so i'm the evil guy can you continue your story terrorist i i am i come downstairs on my wrist and i'm like it's like 11 and i am in my boxers uh-huh yeah no no you were just in your boxers i was just in my boxers and i which by the way you wear old man boxers you wear like i wear boxer you wear seven-year-old haines you wear the first fruit of the looms ever yeah i wear a boxer but what am i supposed to keep when you go to the factories in massachusetts they of the looms ever, man. Yeah. I wear a boxer brief. What am I supposed to keep buying them? When you go to the factories in Massachusetts, they show the loom where they made it.

It's just the woman's still there. When did boxer briefs become old man shit? They're not. Yours are old man shit because they're like, they were white and now they have like a gray patina to them. No, they don't. No. They literally don't. Come on.

Dude. I'm wearing red. You're acting like he's coming down in sloppy underwear. I come down in boxer briefs like this, except they're gray. And I'm looking for bears, okay? In the morning, I'm always looking for bears to go on a little ride with. You're looking for human beings. Yeah, that's what Slime says for posting.

Yeah. No. I'm not Mizkif. And Razdad's cut out. So I'm looking for people to go get coffee with. And yeah, you get it. And I'm posting to the group chat Razdad's cut out so I'm looking for like people to go get coffee with and yeah you get it and I'm like

I post in the group chat like any coffee bears and then like sometimes I get a response sometimes I won't most of the time I won't it's fine whatever and so

I come downstairs from my room and I think it's like any other normal day and I'm in my boxer briefs and I kind of stomp down

halfway and as I stomp down halfway I see Eamon down the stairs I'm at the bottom of the stairs and I kind of stomp down halfway. And as I stomp down halfway, I see Eamon down the stairs. I'm at the bottom of the stairs. And he's walking to the bottom of the stairs near where the front door is. And I'm staring down at a 45-degree angle. And I'm like, oh, Eamon, I'm a bear. Aren't you, Eamon? And I just start doing normal things for the morning.

Yeah, this is normal, by the way. This is normal. And he just starts laughing really hard. And I'm like, this is hitting Eamon a little harder than I thought it would hit him. And I'm like, dude, like you can't. Because you know that.

No, you didn't say anything. I said dude. You said, okay, fine. I think he knows in the back of his head that she's right there. Yeah, okay. So I'm just doing this and then I start taking the sides of my boxer

and i pull them up to the side so they look like undies so he's got kind of like a almost so your balls show and no balls nothing no i mean like because you get you create an outline it's a little tighter i mean it's a little tighter but it's not that bad my hog is always going to be visible in any clothing that's not true it's not you're wearing the thickest cut of levi jeans your soft dick is just it wasn't yeah it looked there's basically it wasn't visible like a kielbasa from the market that's not a large sausage what are you fucking packing then a kielbasa is like 13 inches long it's also called kielbasa what it's kielbasa no it's not kielbasa it's kielbasa wait what that's not true that's how you pronounce it

i'm that's like what president would call it was what he thought just until now it's kielbasa it's not kielbasa president would call it a kielbasa you're getting out of it but i want you to know i'm not wrong anyway so i'm start doing this and i'm like amen do you like this amen and i'm stomping and i'm being weird and i'm laughing really hard and i'm like he's just he's in a good mood today you know i'm just making my friend laugh and that makes me feel good you're not telling him to turn around i take i well it's not behind me i take two steps down the stairs and all of a sudden my vision cone because there's it's a it's like a double staircase and my vision cone now is no longer obstructed to the rest of the entire dining room and i walk down two stairs

and i see to the end and she cutie's assistant is just sitting at the table just like doing looking straight ahead just straight ahead and i'm like and she i was like she spots a goblin i was like oh my god i am so sorry and i just run upstairs you made the flintstone noise yeah he goes upstairs and i just like turn around to her and i'm like i'm sorry like and she's like don't she's like don't worry about it like i grew up with like three brothers this is like totally normal i don't care at all i i go up i put clothes on i come down and I just start profusely apologizing. I'm like, that was unacceptable. And you come down wearing lingerie, and you're like, oh my god.

You're still here? Oh no! This is so embarrassing. I thought you would have laughed. Daniels! The thing that they put the baby in when you do the circumcision is literally called a circumstrate.

Oh my god. That's kind of tight. It's like a moral combat move. Circumcisions are like subway bread. Every once in a while there's a whole peppercorn in one. What the fuck is that? Oh fuck that.

She looked like Times New Roman. Yeah, that's what it's like. What? So you... They put my 15 year old penis's like. What? Huh? Yeah. They put my 15-year-old penis in that? What? Oh, my God. Wait, this guy was 14? But then his parents...

Wait, hold the app up. What? I thought this was way older. This guy was 14 and known for having a big penis? Yeah, they were like 14 or 15. That's crazy. Sometimes you get born a legend. Like freshman or sophomore year.

I just think it's weird that that is known and got around that early. Did you not hear the rumors in the quad about Breslin's cock? Dude, Breslin? And nobody will ever see that cock again. That's what they call him. Tripod Breslin. That's what they called him. That's what we call him.

We call him a film student. He was mass comm. So, that was crazy. Carbon fiber, you take it on a plane. Shit. I remember we peed on his dad's cop car. Names of three campuses of Arizona State. So that was crazy. Carbon fiber you take on a plane Campuses Three if we were only out one

Smart campus one with like the grades I was I was at Sun Sun Devil Sun Devil's where where Hustle square otherwise known as the quad Mario Kart DS map I was at Sun Devil Square. Sun Devil Square. Otherwise known as the Quad. It's like a fucking Mario Kart DS map. No, but the only thing I remember about Breslin's giant penis is that he had those ladies on a leash. Woohoo, shit. Tempe campus.

It's based off the city. That's not true. Tempe. That's literally not true. It's literally true. No. It's true. Tempe is actually short for temperature because it's hot in Arizona. That's not true. No, that's where true It's literally true No It's true Tempe is actually short for temperature Because it's hot in Arizona

That's not true No that's where it comes from It's a Latin root Tempe means hot But it can be a cold temperature I literally messaged That's what Urcher means I literally messaged someone you went to college with

I said here's a time stamp You know verify that this is true Said fuck Breslin's dad Piggy emoji And I loved the quad They had dominoes and a Qdoba Here's a time stamp you know verify that this is true said fuck Breslin's dad piggy emoji And I loved the quad they had dominoes and a Qdoba bro Qdoba with all it wasn't quite You all a no, but they had but they had the bowl that was made of tortillas not a lot It was called a memorial union well. I mean oh we turn that shit to memorial We're in kills left and right a cab pussy. don't give a shit about memorializing shit, bro.

I hit the queso from the Qdoba. That shit was live. Why does that have to do with ACAB? Because who are your memorial... All quesos are based. Who are you memorializing? The union. Fuck unions.

Fuck unions. What? Yeah. Bust them. I'll say it. Bust them, Sun Devils. Who's busting unions? I feel like if you work at a grocery store,

you shouldn't get bit to be part in a club too. You shouldn't have a cool club. What a weirdly mixed political ideology. I don't like the police, but I would like the incoming social workers to bust the union. I think the Punisher logo looks cool, and I don't like what it stands for. I like crossing the picket fence, but I don't like the police stopping me from crossing. I want the Punisher to kill union bosses. I think we're literally describing libertarians, by the way, which is kind of funny.

We like arrived at it ironically. Hey guys, how's it going? I hope you're enjoying our best of episode. Even though this is a recycled episode of clips from our show, you are still going to be advertised to. But you know what's not weird? What's not weird? The fact that there are two empty chairs here that our friends disappeared and died. It's the only weird thing happening. That's not weird.

It's the only weird, because where are they? Oh, you know it would be nice if they were somewhere just cooking up a meal for us. Imagine Aiden and Ludwig are in the kitchen chefing. Aiden's looking at a pan wondering what it is. You've truly got the goats for this ad read. Anyway, this one's brought to you by HelloFresh. Hello. Hello. What's up? It by HelloFresh. Hello. Hello. What's up? It's me, Hello. This is Fresh.

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That's actually crazy hello fresh the yard 21 hellofresh.com slash yard 21 america's number one meal kit and america's oldest man hello fresh uh so we're uh i was on the way here this morning and uh i was talking uh to the girl that i brought to the streamer awards and she was telling me this thing that had happened on Friday night with her and her friends. They went out to a bar. And in this bar, there's like packed people, like mostly like an older crowd.

But there's a group of these like young guys who look like around like 21 that are there. And this woman at the bar just like looks up, like looks over at like the group the rest of the bar and is like does anybody want any breast milk right now serve that shit up and round full round on me and and no one no one says anything during covid yeah yeah the audacity yeah it's more of a pre-covid activity if you ask me uh and she i activity. I'm trying to do fucking belly button shots. Breast milk out of the juicy, dude.

And then she, like no one, takes her tit out and begins to squeeze and squirt breast milk across the bar. Like it's a gathering of the juggalos. These three 21-year-old boys are covered in breast milk. No way. I'm so jealous. They're losing their fucking minds laughing. And her friend dead ass looks at at my date

and is like she does this every weekend no I'm so jealous how do you do it every week you'll never be the person in a group that has the worst story you will have the best story every time for the rest of your fucking life dude you get I think it's cap I think it's cap she does this every weekend because

you can't always just have breast milk. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yeah, you can. Totally. But once again, slime fails to understand

female anatomy. If there's one thing I know, dude, it's breast milk. It's breast milk. If you have any questions about breast milk. That's your two things. It's Garfield and breast milk.

I know two things. They told me this with a rather underwhelming delivery. Yeah, they're bored of it. And I was like, you know, like, you know how fucking insane this sounds, right? Like, every bit of this sounds

like you fucking made it up while you were fucking high. Yeah. And, uh, no, this just all played out in a bar in Los Angeles on Friday night. Man. So then I said, no, not that chauffeur. No! Oh, man. Today, we are here with just a regular episode but this time a little bit more gentlemen We're so dapper. We've had a few difficulties with the past few episodes getting demonetized and we're here to prove them that we can be downright

Classy dare I say gentlemen, we're classy gentlemen Susan the demerits us simply is Ludwig if anybody says a swear or anything that's uncouth or ungentlemanly They will get a demerit and will receive a swift backhand from one of us to the face That was great extremely clean backhand That is not gentlemanly. That is not gentlemanly. T-Barrett. T-Barrett. T-Barrett.

Dude, he touched my berries. It's like, not just when I need him for a video, if I'm just like bored and I just want to do something, I'm just like, when he's streaming, he just answers. Is that so?

I do answer. Is that so? Is that? That's cool. That's cool, Jimmy. No, hold on. Hold on. That's really cool.

So he answers your texts and your calls and when you reach out to him. How fast would you say, on. So he answers your texts and your calls. How fast would you say on average he answers your texts? I honestly don't think there's ever been a time I've called him and he didn't answer. Really? That's super interesting. It was actually cool. It's actually helpful what you're saying.

He told us recently, no, you know what? You text me all the time. I don't read my text. If you call, I will answer. Yeah, that's a good thing. And I was like, oh, that's perfect. So I've called him three times the past few weeks. He's not answered once. He actually hasn't even will answer. Yeah, that's a good thing. And I was like, oh, that's perfect. So I've called him like three times the past few weeks. He's not answered once.

He actually hasn't even called back. Oh, wow. Isn't that crazy? By the way, Ludwig stayed in my studio apartment once and cummed in his pants while he stayed in his room. That's so unnecessary in terms of information. And so maybe there's a bond that we share. It's such an unnecessary amount of information.

Why is it? What's unnecessary about it? We don't share the bond. Oh, do we not share a bond like we came up together? If you shared the bond, that means you helped him come. Maybe I did, Jimmy. That's me. Hey, how was your one-take Jake? My one-take Jake?

Yeah, you had to do it. Okay, so I talked to Nick about how to do this. I think it's funny enough that we can play it. Really? Yeah, and if it's not funny enough, we'll cut it. I want you to know that he talked to me about it, and I said not to do it. And and his decision because he talked to me and i said the opposite was to do it it's funny because he didn't word it like that yeah yeah it's funny because it sounds like it's unlikely talking oh yeah you're right it sounds like i said yeah yeah good idea but i actually

said a three minute video in the middle of podcast seems like a snoozer let's just post it online first i'm okay either way ultimately if it sucks we'll just talk about it after and i'll post it i'll just you might as well have not talked to me yeah the context is is i am a one take jake god on mogul mail and did you do it just now when you were fucking 30 minutes late it was a one take 30 minutes late it was a it was a it was a three take so it's not a one one take well i often one take but you just said you just did it i mean i just i like i did it in one take you didn't do three well it took me like i didn't edit it together there is one take that but it should let's just roll your your goddamn mogul mail yeah yeah what's the topic okay roll it roll it zip the scientific community is in shambles.

And honestly, so am I. I don't know if you guys have seen this or not. It was a couple weeks ago. CDC, the Center for Disease Control, they found out, they put out a study that said that bears, like the animal, like in the woods, can squirt. So this came out April 12th. And there's this whole study, there's this whole

article with this link and they, it was this landmark thing. And, and it's just so crazy because like, we don't think about bears as someone who can like, you know, ejaculate, uh, you know, female bears for those of you is basically female ejaculate and what it is is also kind of a scientific mystery some people think it's pee some people think it's uh the white powerade flavor um no matter what you think there's definitely some crazy stuff going down in the future okay so this dropped right the day, who comes out of the woodwork? None other than Mizkif. I have eaten more grizzly bear pussy than anyone I know,

and I have never gotten squirt on my face. I love the Connor reply at the top. I've known Mizzy a long time. I didn't know he ate grizzly bear pussy at all. You know, I didn't think anyone did that. But what he's saying is that not only is he an expert on this particular concept, but that he has never seen this happen. Basically directly challenging the CDC. Now, look, the CDC, maybe they won't have the best track record, right?

Some people died, but that's beside the point. What is the craziest thing is the CDC clapped back. And I saw some DMs. I can't show. I can't leak. I've been talking to Mizzy a little bit. But basically what's going to happen is that they have invited mischief into their lab and they are going to broadcast mischief eating a bear's pussy live on television uh and there's a whole link and there's like a

whole website there's also like a couple of sports lines you know you guys if you don't know you can like bet on things like this whether or not the bear will come whether or not the bear will squirt uh and and things like that so anyway jill biden is that's it that's it that's it yeah i was kidding okay so that's my one take jake now i didn't rehearse this i was driving home and i was in traffic and i was just thinking about like what the story was uh that i was gonna break on mogul mail and that that was it so that was genuinely a one take jake 30 seconds i was like that's probably gonna break on mogul mail and that that was it so that was genuinely a one take for 30 seconds i was like that's probably a real article but squirting means something i don't know are there people in australia who are like west coast best coast yes i met at the party i i

heard an australian accent from across the room and i was like hey mate i came over and this girl was really drunk and she was like clearly like perth people have a different accent and she was like we started talking yeah i'm from perth and i'm just like oh and then she started like looking angry and i just like backed away because i was like oh i'm from melbourne she's like oh oh melbourne and i just i faded away back into the background i knew i smelled something this was about 10 minutes before I met you. Anyway. Yeah. And then,

and then there was, they were like, there was a terrible girl this night. And he's like, yeah, I met her. On the subject of fucking with spam callers. We had a,

like an election, a local election, like a while back. And we would get these crazy, like insane spam campaigns. And, uh, when I was like,

hi, this is Lorna volunteer, uh, supporting this, this politician, all california should have received a voted by mail ballot please follow the instructions all this stuff and it introduces herself as lorna it's like someone's number it's a 626 number it's like a human being's number and uh it's important to return your ballot as soon as you can can we count on you to return it asAP? And I said, I replied, Lorna, please God, leave me alone. All I want is to be left alone from getting these texts several times a day. If I get one again, I will kill myself live on the internet and cite you as the reason.

Do you understand, Lorna? Next message. I have reached the tattered edge of my will to live because of these text messages. And then next message. Three minutes later. Are you, like I thought about it, are you prepared to live with the direct cost of a life?

She didn't reply to any of this. No, she did. Ten minutes later, please seek help immediately and call probably Suicide Outline number. They will provide free and confidential support.

Reply one more time. LMAO, what the fuck is Lama? No, I'm just going to message her and say, what are you doing? I just did. LMAO, just kidding. What the fuck is law? I'm just gonna message her and say what you doing So we clicked last time we talked I'll screenshot it yeah, it looks really funny Imagine she doesn't have logs. New phone. Dude, she's never sent a text like that ever again. Holy shit, dude.

That's so awesome. The question is, what downstairs is going on in terms of your foreskin? Are you cut? Are you uncut? There's only one person who knows. Who? God. My mom.

What a great way to end. Here's the thing, Slime and Aiden lost us to sponsorship because they talked about a barge for too long. So this is your friendly neighborhood mud wig. The barge has so many sunglasses on it. From Shady Rays. I'm Barge Simpson. Fit style performance without the big brand price tag. We're talking about Shady Ray's Black Friday selection

Which is out right now Hey Shady Rays, look, love you, thanks for the free stuff Maybe send me a prescription so I can read our ads You got fit style And performance without the big brand price tag If you lose or break a pair Even on day one, they'll send you a new pair Because they have a lot

30 day exchanges returns, the best protection product of any hour The loss of broken Covers it transfers to anyone from the barge to you. They have a lot on the barge They're ready these sunglasses sat off the port of Long Beach for months They're still completely intact that's right polarized as well as three specific details I look like Johnny Cage you look like Johnny Test the captain of the boys

they got into the crate they have a few parrots for free yeah the captain and the boys get a crate fellas fellas fellas can I tell you the captain always gets a parrot alright fellas you're having a good time

but can I tell you three specific details I like about these? One, polarized. Two, look good. Three, inexpensive. Look, they got the cool shades that- look, they look like I play for the Angels None of the people around me are doing things that'll help us get through this read But I am so I'm gonna tell you the big- the big hook. You look like Jose Canseco. Shadyrays.com So I'm going to tell you the big hook. You look like Jose Canseco. ShadyRays.com, use code THEYARD.

Use code THEYARD. And you get 60% off during their Black Friday deal. All right, Kazooie? Are you right? Because Banjo's here to tell you the code THEYARD gets you 60% off. Aiden's crying because the deals are so good. Hey, during their Black Friday deal only, ShadyRays.com, use code THEYARD. If you want to look like me right now.

Fine. You will look like him. You'll look like me. You will win 5% of every sale goes to support your local barge. In the shady Ray. I got a wife. So this all happened and I, that pissed me off. But I think what pissed me off more is the fact that Ludwig liked you guys so

much. And I saw you as literally people, you and Stan specifically, because you come in a pack of gum, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. That you guys are just people who have, you went through school,

and you got like fucking your Norc, I called you the NorCal Boomers. They hung out in the quad. They were barely friends in college too. I don't care. Until like the last year, right? What I'm saying is, and Breslin didn't fuck with them. Breslin, of course he didn't fuck with you guys. Breslin never year, right? And Breslin didn't fuck with them.

Breslin never fucked with you guys. Breslin never fucked with you guys. They all are trying to gaslight me into thinking they went to ASU. What are you talking about gaslighting? Breslin is someone who died. Don't be disrespectful. That's what he's talking about.

Breslin also sold gas. You know what I'm saying? I actually think of the three humans on Earth who couldn't get into ASU, it's talking about. President also sold gas. You know what I'm saying? I actually think of the three humans on Earth who couldn't get into ASU, it's you three. Me. You think I could get into ASU? Fork him right now. Fork him right now.

I don't know if I do my asters there. No, me and you could do this all the time. I didn't know. But it's no different than when you're shaking your head, and you also say slurs for eight hours playing Valorant. So it's like... It's true. It's true. It's no different than when like you're shaking your head and you also say slurs for eight hours playing valorant. So it's like it's true Do we we pull your plane the other night and the account I play on when I play with Nick England is lovely fan 420 and

And I haven't played I haven't been in like fucking months and I lied I keep passing aid in the house that I keep saying to him like, you know when I'm back, bro It's fucking over and he's just like you don't you're not gonna play you're not gonna play i just keep passing him saying shit like oh i come back to valor and i happen to have two top frag games when i come back which is terrible for aiden uh because i was bragging about doing it uh anyway and uh the way so i played smokes and uh we're playing again and aiden has a bit when he plays valor with nick yingling where he goes do you guys think it would be cool

to be Ludwig's personal assistant and then he says that to the random teammates I'm like do you guys know

who Ludwig is what a cock sucker do you think it would be cool to be that guy's PA no and he's like oh well

I think it'd be cool or whatever and then Yingling is just losing his mind mind the discord which is awesome he thinks it's funny yeah so i so i'm on ludwig fan 420 and uh and someone in our game is just like you uh you like ludwig and i like i haven't spoken in game once the whole thing and i'm like uh i think he is the best streamer no competition and they're like oh uh cool and then it's just like i don't care and there's a and so aiden like loves it he's like dying laughing because i'm just saying like what do you think he eats

for breakfast i'm just like asking questions to people and they're like they don't care like they're just like going b and i'm like i'm like i'm like yeah a lot actually plays with judge so i've been playing judge too it's pretty good guy and they're like not acknowledging me and uh and aiden aiden keeps doing the bit where he's like you guys think it'd be cool to be his personal assistant and uh one of the one of the girls on our team is like uh like yeah i don't uh i don't really like lud i don't really like ludwig at all and we're like oh and she's like more a fan of the podcast and we can tell we can tell that she knows who we are and we're like oh we have an ally and fucking with this other guy but she never said it explicitly so like the whole game we're just like owning this

guy who's just like who doesn't give a shit because he goes all right what's the plan guys and Yingling goes it's simple and we all start dying laughing and the guy's like why are you all laughing and he like you hear him like going like he's like oh it's this lovely guy's catchphrase i tried to do this again last night and the jet the jet real human Hold some sloppy So to be clear you said you're not a scientist cuz you don't call them bitches, but you call them you'll call some Yeah Like what you said is derogatory when I say

He's gonna posted about the koalas' chlamydia. I need him to mutt post. Go. Say the M. It's not even ours. We didn't say mutt. Wait, yeah, you do. We don't say mutt.

Who says it? It's the UK. Yeah, but it was on Triggerback Benny T. But you guys are creeping coins and eating mutt. You guys are the same. Anyway. Anyway, okay. You and Frenzy sound the same that's true let's slow

down who is josh you might be like who is this guy he's our friend josh in addition what makes him doesn't fuck up you're a picky fucking eater you can fucking eat some seafood for once your fucking life you live on a fucking coastal city dumb piece of shit so what you might not know what makes him actually interesting is that he is probably topped i'm gonna sack tap both of you halfway through this you're chilling you also have a broken arm people don't know that either josh is josh's top 20 His spot is for shoes! He's dying! He's still suing the access sales. Oh shit! He went to the George Bush!

He didn't dodge. You're no politician. You love Australia, man. Do a shoeie. Drink the coffee out of my fucking white shoe. Look, he's just our friend, that's all that matters. You're introducing him, like, imagine I introduce you. I like the idea that he's top 20 in the world at one of the greatest games of all time. I was skinnier. I was thinner. Now I'm heavier. I'm fatter. I don't understand. You lost me.

Are you not snatched? I'm a fat little boy. I'm working out, but I'm also heavier. Show me your body. From muscle. I wanna see your body now. What do you mean you wanna see my body tattoo? I wanna see your body. I wanna see it. This is a before and after.

You look great. You look great! Oh... How does he do it? It's really hurtful the way you guys ood like that. It went, BOOM. It was like a sad guy's face. Okay, it's not... It's like when you hold a water balloon by the tie.

I think you look great. You didn't even see me, you were just on my back. Yeah, your back looks you're gonna see it from the back your back is normal all right he's still fighting for his fucking stupid point that doesn't matter this resurrects such a strong strong memory of uh there was this big uh really cool park in uh my parents town and it is one of those ones that's like filled with like almost like treehouse esque like structures and you can kind of like climb through like all these different levels of the park and at the very top of it there's sort of this uh like house thing almost that

turns into a slide that goes all the way down to the bottom of the park and a lot of like older kids would hang out up in the treehouse like like, if they just, you know, if you wanted to get together when you're, like, fucking 14 or something, you know? They'd, like, hang out in, like, fucking Smokecrack. Yeah, like, in fucking Smokecrack. They'd scheme heists on, like, the playground. Yeah. What would you heist, I guess, if you're 14? Wallets?

You're trying to get as many bags of chips out of the lunch line without them noticing. Yeah. Yeah. And you're fucking coming. You're trying to get as many bags of chips out of the lunch line without them noticing. Yeah. And you fucking come up. You're trying to get the hot munchies. It's like the Donkey Kong boss, like Banana Horde, but it's all like little Lay's fun-sized bags. They're all baked, yeah. And while we're up there plotting, I am with a friend of mine. Her name is Cheyenne.

And we were just up there hanging out and talking. And there was these other kids that like kept like way younger they're like they're probably like eight and they're playing around and they keep peeking up because you peek over this ladder into the top area and they keep giggling and peeking up at us me and her are sitting about the distance

that me and Nick are just sitting there like talking to each other and uh 15 yards for audio listeners scheming not scheming talking about the lace chips and the bananas and the heist and the heist that we're going to commit this coming week and then like maybe 15 minutes pass and a dad comes up clearly the dad of these kids that have been around for a while he's like a stocky really ripped ripped Hispanic guy. He was a hot Hispanic guy. Shaved head. He was pretty attractive, I would say.

Shirt slightly too tight, but it fits him good. It was tight. Tight t-shirt. Is this how you found out you were bisexual? No. Is this Bean Che Way walks up with his hot nipples popping out of his fucking collar? He's allowed to say that he has a mustache.

That's right. sundays bro i got the fucking pass bro i'm not kidding i'll continue tell us about the dad all my friends growing up and he says hey you guys got to knock it off up there the kids say you've been kissing in front of them and that's a problem you guys please don't do that in front of the kids and we're just we're so confused we're like we haven't been kissing like it's like i'm not i'm not kissing each other and he's like look the kids wouldn't lie they just wouldn't do that oh so you guys need to knock it off and he's like pissed you're getting gaslit by a hot dad and i'm so and i'm stunned and you could just you could just take credit for making out with a girl but instead you're like no i wasn't i swear i

wasn't no i've never kissed a girl in my life yeah okay and i would never do that i would never do i look like someone who would ever get to kiss a girl yuck don't say that i did that because i would never kiss cheyenne ever and you're like me and her did end up that's fucked up the kids came back and you started macking that's fucked up you was like you waited for the kids came back and you started that's fucked up you was like you waited for the kids not in front of the fucking kids were you getting topped up in the treehouse that was also coincidentally the treehouse that I first got offered a

a tug job like two and a half years it wasn't Cheyenne giving you a TC was it story a roundabout way to tell us he got a AJ in a treehouse on a two to tell us yeah so cheyenne gave me the hj in front of the kids you had a studio audience the kid's dad gave him a hey jay he's like i am going to listen you're horny i need to make sure you're not horny so you don't kiss out in front of my kids i'm tired of this i'm gonna i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you a t-shirt tugger and i'm

gonna get out of here okay jerk you real good otphj and then you quit kissing in front of my kids hey beat it or i'll beat it you know i'm saying i'm gonna beat you off he's like he's like angrily just jerking you off just looking in your face like don't come here again i'm gonna jerk you again come quick boy because i'm tired of you making out from my goddamn kids he's he has a southern accent now you keep coming here i'm gonna keep coming making you come wow wow and then well yeah so i'm alone everyone's gone literally even the animals are gone the bears yeah but i feel you know he was right i've been playing elden ring i pinched a nerve again i literally have a fucking debilitating bat i'm

just on my back like a turtle and uh you know aiden wasn't here so i just you know, Aiden wasn't here. So I just, you know, I wanted to show him that I cared about him. And so I made a video. This video, I watched this and I was like, he might actually be insane. Like this is, it started to push over the edge of like, oh, this is funny.

I don't, look, I just started walking to the kitchen and I'm like oh you know it would be funny and then i did this what is it can we watch we can hey hold on really quick before we before we get this going hey archie i'm talking through the camera i'm looking at you if the goddamn video people and the audio people don't get to hear this video or see it oh yeah this episode comes out it's your ass we're going to flog you then we're flying to Leeds and we'll snog you

we're going to isn't that kiss we're going to snog you what is snog it's kiss is that different than flog it's British for like making out

yeah we're going to kiss you so good Troy we're going to snog you little tiny ass one by one in a train dude that MMA fighter

who's like from that area he's so funny he's got the sc that MMA fighter who's like from that area. Oh, yeah. He's so funny. He's got the scouse accent. Dude, he's like, oh, this pizza's fucking snide, lad. Yeah, he keeps saying snide. All right.

Yeah. So this is Aiden's room. Holy shit. Hey, man. Hey. I'm going to be you. I'm going to be you, Aiden. I'm going to be you. I'm going to be you. And I'm going to be you. I'm gonna be you, Eamon. I'm gonna be you.

I'm gonna be you. I'm gonna be you, Eamon. I'm gonna be you, Eamon. We'll be together forever. We'll be together all the time. We'll always be together, cause I'll be you, Eamon. I'll be you. And you'll be me.

And we'll be together forever and ever. I hate this angle. You're just putting his clothes on? Yes! I'm you, and I'm you. Now I'm you. Now I'm you. And I'll be you forever.

And you'll be me. And we'll be forever and ever, and we'll live for a thousand years goodnight alright goodnight and I'm gonna be you forever and ever cause I'm you now dude

you're a freak I do need to shit Can I shit in your bathroom? Yeah go for it Do you want to wrap it up there? Well I need to piss again I need to piss as well

Come on I'll hold it It's somebody else's mic Yeah what the You're not going to have it right now? What's that your mic bro? Can we label that one? Wait no no

It's coming Yeah Yeah Dude Why is this so long? yeah dude why is this so long is that real oh it smells like eggs holy shit

bro bro try it try it try it alright thanks for watching the yard Everybody Try it on It's delicious

I need to get closer Smell it Oh Try it on. It's delicious. I need to get closer. Smell it. Oh! Thank you so much for watching our podcast. Dude, fuck off. Until next time, everybody. See you in the Patreon episode. Fucking.

Fuck.