The Yard - Ep. 10 - LUDWIG KISSES SLIME ON CAMERA

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Oh you thought this was a boys club? Well now all the boys are kissing. Take that, liberal. This episode the boys cover Aiden's trip to Sweden, Nick's adventures in the shower, and Ludwig's call from Mr. Beast.

Let me, I mean, can I ask you a question? Yeah. You made coffee. By the way, this is the first time you came home from Sweden and went to bed immediately. I was the only one that saw you. And then you made coffee right before. Yeah. And this tastes like you shat inside of the coffee did you poop in the coffee body I had the coffee it was normal I think you didn't pour out your old coffee oh I did I cleaned

it out taste it I had his there's a conspiracy I don't like I don't like swell cups yeah you've been talking shit why you've been talking that good I've been awake in this house for about 120 minutes today and I'm already facing accusations. I'm just saying you made my day worse. In that short time. You left and there's a lot of built up tension because we had nowhere to let it all go. So now that you're back we just

missed you and we have to let you know. The thunderstorm is here and the lightning rod is out. And on that note welcome to the yard, everybody. Welcome to the yard! It's episode 10. Is it? We're in double digits.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's nine. No, it's fucking episode 10. I don't believe. It's definitely 10. It's 10. You guys are smoking dick and weed.

Wasn't Stavros? It's 10. Okay, Zipper said it's 10. Zipper said it's 10. God damn it. I upload all the episodes. You think Zipper doesn't know? I do a lot of work. I also work as hard. You think Zipper doesn't know?

I also work as hard. You just don't believe me. I like challenging you. It improves you as a human. We're in double digis. Question everything. That's fantastic. I'm very happy to be here.

Also, 10 episodes where Coinbase hasn't left us yet. Let's go. What is that? Don't give Coinbase. I was just mimicking. He knows the brand. No, I can give Coinbase some trash. They did a Mr. Beast partnership.

He's got like a $100,000 giveaway. They have a code for him. Dude. 10 weeks, they can't get a code for us. Well, that's James, okay? James gets a code. He's a big dog. Ludwig doesn't get a code. James gets a code.

Okay, I haven't told you guys this. Jimmy does have a way with words and forcing people to do things. Well... By the way, Jimmy, James, his name is John. It's Jordan. I haven't told you guys this. Jimmy does have a way with words and forcing people to do things. Well, he said, by the way, Jimmy James, his name is John. It's Jordan.

Jimmy's a short, it's a nickname for Jimmy. Did you know that? Jimmy being tied into James? No, Jimmy is a short name for James. Did you know that? Yes.

Oh, I thought it was like Dick and Richard. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. What are you saying? No, I don't think that's true. It is true,

but I think some people are now named Jim at birth. Some people are Jim. No, yeah, it's fine. But I'm just saying, James, it's like Bob and Robert. Do you understand? No, I understand. Is this true? Yeah, this is true.

The difference is that I didn't understand it was like that every time. Because some people have those two names separately. You can be a Jimmy with no relation to James. Do you understand? Yeah, you could just be a Jim. But if you're a James, you always have the option as a sub-level can be a Jimmy with no relation to James. Do you understand? Yeah, you could just be a Jim. But if you're a James, you always have the option as a sub-level

to be a Jim. It's like all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. All Jameses are Jimmys, but not all Jimmys are Jameses. Is this the episode

where we bond? Add that to the Dab spreadsheet. Add that to the Dab spreadsheet. Kiss me on my lips. Ah! I did it for the first time! I didn't do it on off the sticks years ago, and I finally did it.

Do you see his face right now? That was the first time I ever kissed... Can we get a slow-mo of his face going? That was the first time I ever kissed a man on the lips. Wait, really? Yes. Wow. At 31?

As someone who has kissed Ludwig twice... I've never done it. Did you feel a sensation through your whole body? I don't. I just feel more comfortable from here on out. In three hours, your pee-pee will be hard. It's a slow reaction. It's like poison.

Dude, this is going to be the easiest view farm of my life. I'm going to be in the lab, Ludwig and slime kiss, thumbnail. It's so free. It's a farm now. That's so free. It's a farm. All right, so let's hop to content. Let's talk about Jimmy.

I didn't tell you guys this. I am going to see him this weekend. Really? So this is what happens. Like Ray seeing Luke. He calls me on the phone. He says, come to North Carolina tomorrow. This is Friday.

I'm like, no, I can't go tomorrow. He's like, why not? And I'm like, I have stuff to do. i have stuff like he's a grinder you're not a fucking grinder so i'm trying to bring up excuses i'm like i you know i have this guy i got the podcast he goes bring your podcast oh and it's like it's like you know normally as a human your mind goes like okay yeah that makes sense but he's like no this is there are no problems that cannot be solved with the money in my bank account. Did I ever tell you?

That guy rules. When I moved to LA, I was looking for a place and there was a place in K-Town. It was like a studio apartment for like $900. You know how it goes. It's actually pretty good now. And then the landlord was like this greasy guy from some, I don't know, some European nation

that I could never find on a map but he was basically saying it was basically it was between me and another person that was trying to rent the place he's like can you pay like uh you know a couple months up front and i had savings because i was moving here i was like yeah i could i could do that but like is that a is that a problem like is that is that okay and he said listen there's no problem in this world that can't be solved by money if it can be solved by money it's not a problem and that was like the first thing i ever heard from another adult in this in los angeles in los angeles yeah and that person mr beast he was your landlord yeah he's actually european and he's from turkmenistan

people don't know that yeah yeah yeah so i'm true so I'm going. It's true. What I'm saying is true. It was funny. Even that, I was like, I'll come next weekend, which I thought was like very short turnaround still. And he was like, I'm not used to people telling me no. I was like, bro, we're talking a weekend. And then he says the most ominous thing ever. He says, bring Bitcoin when you're here. I have a fun game.

Dude. What? You're going to wake up in a cell with a box with a box on your head i put ludwig in a cell for 50 hours and told him to decode this blockchain slowly devolving into youtube's jigsaw like yeah this is terrifying well ludwig you thought the plan was simple now the plan is complex dude you have five minutes to escape this water chamber this is 2020s video drum this is. He will be the man at the wheel.

If Ludwig was in a Saw puzzle, what would the monologue he hears be? He has to reply to everyone that he's ever ghosted in his life and he can't do it fast enough. No, yeah, it's like, oh, Ludwig. You have never replied to anyone ever, even your best friends that care

about you a lot. Now you're about to find out when replying is really necessary. Dude, I had a nightmare when I was- Reply to every requested Twitter DM. Which you can DM one of us here at the yard if you ever want to talk to us. Aiden! Yay! Any one of us.

You've gained more followers from this. Probably. Maybe? No more than he would have, I don't think. Yeah. So play your own jigsaw game at home if aiden doesn't reply to you uh pretend in your mind that you've died and so no so every time he doesn't say anything back you're dead and he has to live with that on his conscience and he loses a limb there's there's one dude there's one guy who I'm thinking of right now who sends me a gif of Wubby every single day at 3 p.m. and says, have a cheesy day.

And he has done this for over a month. Okay. Over a month? That guy's not funny, but that's funny when you tell it to me. Yes. Yeah. It's weird. I can't explain that.

It's funnier now that we have stakes because presumably he will no longer be able to send these messages after tomorrow. Okay. Because I have not replied. Oh, sure, yeah. This user who just deleted their account, so I can bring this up now. They just deleted this account. If you can get a Zoom here, I think this polls, right?

Okay, ready? Watch this. Poll. I am scrolling through daily DMs that have been going on for the past two years. Dude, your life is miserable. This is daily DMs. And I replied to one a month in hoping that they would be like, finally, closure. It did nothing.

It just gave me the alert now because they were in my main inbox. But it has been going on since literally November 2019. Did their account get deleted? I don't know if their account got deleted or they deleted it. It says user not found, so I don't know. Jesus Christ. If you were a woman, your head would be on someone's shelf right now. Dude, I am so happy I'm not a woman.

Hey, we got too boys clubby last time. Say that a little softer. Okay, I am happy I'm not a woman because of the Treatment that they undergo And I love being a dude And I also Why is this so morning zoo right now? Dudes rule

Can I get a dudes rock right. Why is this so Morning Zoo right now? Dudes rule! Can I get a dudes rock right now? This is so Morning Zoo. No, I'm saying it's like way harder. If I was the same exact thing I am right now, but a woman, my life would be ten times worse. Yeah. How many fucked up DMs a day do you think, like, Valkyrie gets? We got so far away from something, and I forgot what it was. Nothing was just going to uh see mr beast that's yeah that's cool so you don't know what's gonna happen at all i'm just gonna

hang out when he was like bring the podcast you were like yeah i'm down they're coming or okay well that was part of a conversation where he said just come for the month because i'm leaving to go film a video in Puerto Rico. And so just come till I go there. And I'm like, when are you going there? He said, 20 days. And I said, no. I have a podcast.

And he said, just bring it. And I have a girlfriend. He's like, just bring her. It's like everything just brings smile face. Look, me and I'm on Jimbo's wave. Just bring it, dude. Yeah. Let's all go.

I agree. Dude, I watch. This is where you flip the script. You say, all. Just bring it, dude. Yeah. Let's all go. Jim and I agree. Dude, I watch his... You flip the script. You say, all right, Jimmy, maybe next time you come to Italy with us. He probably would. He's so bored.

He'd be like, oh, the boot? I've been there 17 times. That's a great guess. Dom, come to Italy with us. You know what's crazy, dude? Beyond the Yard? He scrapped...

There's a video he made about which videos he never uploaded. And one of them, he sent all of his group to the seven wonders of the world. And he didn't upload this video. But he did pay for the flights, and they went there, and they filmed being at one of the wonders of the world. Which I guess is just boring, because you're just like, there's the pyramid. Well, you gotta have them all jerk off at the same time. Yeah, and that... It's like the fifth element. He's right. And then Big Be you just like there's the pyramid. Well, you got to have them like all jerk off at the same time. Yeah. And that's like the fifth element.

You know, he's right. And then big beacons. He's so right. Beacons fall from the sky. No, I get it. What is that? Blue gender. Why are you using two movies?

Oh, well, blue gender is an anime. Okay. But basically, it's like you jerk off at the same time at all the seven wonders of the world and then beacons come out and then it forms a ring around the planet. And that's how we protect ourselves. Our friend group couldn't do this. Like the whole the whole going to seven wonders and film world and then beacons come out and then it forms a ring around the planet and that's how we protect ourselves our friend group couldn't do this like the whole the whole going to seven wonders and film anything because like aiden would come back with no footage he'd just be like yeah i uh you know i didn't find a lot of time to shoot but i met a lot of cool people come back with like an egyptian dude he met he's like yeah and this is stavros i just

met this guy or he's there or you'd have a pet camel now. Okay, so I've been waiting to tell you guys this about the trip. So I just got back from Sweden today, and I've never done this before. And this happened on the first day I got there. So I get to

the Sweden airport, I take the train, I fucking get to Leffen's house, because I stayed with him for most of the time. And then we just like, I think we went out like a little bit. We get food, just catch up a bit. And then I go and take a nap. We head back out. We go to like a really nice place. We start getting a little drunk.

We go to a bar. And it's a group of us sitting around like this table and we're just like getting i don't know i'm i'm exhausted but i'm like getting increasingly intoxicated like i haven't been i haven't been this fucked up in i don't know maybe since like austin and it's also the real you yeah when i'm fucked up i everybody should know that when i'm fucked up i'm the real me yeah that's so true that's like a really big part of it that's facts it's just like it's who you are yeah and uh so when we're sitting there and uh at some point these two these two like women walk in and they're uh they're clearly like they're clearly older they're clearly like in the range of like 35 to 50 okay so yeah that's a huge range. That is a huge range.

If I had to guess, I'd say early 40s. That's crazy. You could not tell the difference between a 35-year-old and a 50-year-old. How old do you think I am? I don't know. Like 43? Also, that's the nice way of saying someone is old in the Amen way of saying it. They look older.

It's like a grandma. She's like, you look 20 to 78. You look so good. You look like you could be in this 50-year range. You're a live human. You could pass as born in the 20th century.

Like, easy. Late or early. So you see these two old decrepit grandmothers. They're not decrepit. That look like the worm from SpongeBob. Well, you saw the two women

from ABBA. So two women come down to the club in automated stairs. They're sitting down in a seat and slowly coming to the first floor. They have milk of magnesia in their left hand, and they have a life alert around their neck. And Aiden says, oh, hi. Maimon. You guys want to do ketamines?

They say, hey, what's up? Do you want to build some Ikea furniture or something? We can go outside. No, but we're just sitting there and they're at a table across from us on their own. There's other people in the bar too. And they're clearly having... They're very good. You got wobbly aged by two

ancient Scandinavians with strap-ons. And the thing was, they had the early bird wristbands so they actually got free drinks. Yeah, they got chicken fried steak and then they and the thing was they had the early bird wristbands, so yeah, they actually got free drinks Yeah, they got chicken fried steak, and then they fuck the shit I did have a conversation with just like my, like my, my friends there. And I was like,

do you understand like the, the cultural significance of Midsommar in, in America? Cause it's like, we know the average American does not know a lot about you guys. Like we know Ikea meatballs and now, and now like 20 some year old girls like are like midsommar and that's like yeah i haven't seen the movie so out of context so i only know the first midsommar might have outdone zlatan

yeah that's that we actually made this comparison because they were talking about like who is our most prolific uh like prolific like entertainer or just person out right now and they were like it's probably zlatan it is and then I was talking to who is that he's a footballer really good soccer player yeah in Sweden

he played in LA yeah okay if he was if he was top 100 melee who would he be he'd be like number 8 top 10 probably yeah

he'd be like the none of sure okay I'm on board he's actually that's actually a really apt comparison because he also plays cool and he has a sick bicycle comparison because he also plays cool.

And he has a sick bicycle kick moment. He's like tall in a chat. All his interview moments are goaded. He's like the Koopa Kid in Mario Strikers. You know? I lost him too. I don't get that one. I lost him too. This is a role reversal.

He's the dipshit. Message at Falco. Loser. Who we'd look at. Loser. Oh, that guy sucks, dude. That's great. We got two memos in the building.

Yeah, and they're clearly having a very good time. And after like 15 minutes or so, they wander over to our table to say hi. Hedge. And they just say hedge. That's H-E-J. It's pronounced hay. They say come over and they say hedge. They don't say hedge.

They don't say hedge. They don't say hedge. They say, can you fine young men help me down these steps? I'm trying to get crunk. They're just talking to us. But once they start talking to me, they realize where I'm from. Because I cannot speak Swedish. And one of them is immediately like eyes like locked on me. She's the cartoon.

American jerky. What? No, no, no, no. Okay. All right. You guys don't know what it's like when you go to Sweden. We get you hate Sweden, but that's not what their people sound like. That's what they do when you go, bro. Somehow this is racist.

You end up in Malmo. Racist towards Sweden. And they start sucking down american teat what do you know about malmo bro i know enough you've been to malmo i haven't yet continue they um and uh i'm just like talking back and forth where she's she's older but she's i would say she's good looking like i what does that mean i would say that does that mean you have high or low standards i not say that or would slime not say that i would say she's good looking. What does that mean? I would say that. Does that mean you have high or low standards of beauty?

Would I not say that? Or would Slime not say that? I would say she's good looking. It's a weird qualifier. No, because I think it's just like an opinion based thing. Normally a man

who's as young as he is would not find a woman as decrepit and old as she is to be attractive. In that stage of her life. Yeah. So you find this hospice person who escaped

yeah the fucking chapter marker for this story is going to be the entire episode in the YouTube it's just us berating Aiden not letting him finish it and I'm there with uh i'm still talking to her and uh and the other her friend is also talking to me but she doesn't seem she she seems like friendly but like definitely not interested her and her husband have been together like 40 years though yeah yeah i so i can't i can't

step on that yeah i would never i would never homewreck so well well again well I would never, I would never homewreck. Well, well, again. Well. We won't get into that. But the first woman is like starting to get a little grabby. There's another, there is another woman at the bar. And she starts talking to me at the same time. Is she also 79?

She's younger, but she's older than me. But she's younger. She looks like she's like early 30s. Yeah. Okay. And she starts like, it kind of joins in our conversation. And it's me and the two of them like talking. And it's like obviously flirting.

Like even for my like brain dead fucking, you know. In English or Swedish? In English. And they're double teaming you. Are they acknowledging acknowledging each other you guys look like you're trying to no they're you look like you're trying to sneak into an r-rated movie these are my these are my mothers i would like one ticket to the boobs three mothers boobs one please she the first woman is starting to like allude that she wants to go somewhere. But her friend is like, we gotta go. We gotta head out of this bar.

She's out the door. She's calling her friend out. And then she says, we say bye. She leaves. And I just keep talking to this third person. To the young one. To this slightly younger person. Who's still old as fuck.

Who I find out is 33. Okay. Okay, yeah. Because you were Who I find out is 33. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Because you were like, I'm tired of this shit. How old are all of you? No, I didn't ask.

I didn't ask. She brought it up because she asked how old I was and I was just honest. Okay. Well, yeah. Yeah. I'm 31.

Is there any world where saying like 24, 25 is a miss? Yeah. I don't think so. I think it's the prime age. But you can be young enough where you have to use the line, old enough for you. No.

That would never work. I'll tell you why. It works against pedophiles. Yeah. Well, no. It doesn't work against pedophiles. No, it would thwart them. Yeah.

No! The seven wonders. Alright, go on. The age thing comes up later in a really dumb way. She asks if I want to leave. And I'm like,

oh, you want to go to your place and she's like well no I just broke up with my ex-girl ex-boyfriend and I still live with him okay okay well I'm staying with my friends and I'm pretty sure that they won't let me like do this there and she's like you should ask wow i so i go over that's right go over to the table and i got an uptucked boner i i lean over it's like it's me and leff it is across from me everybody else around the booth right and i look at leffin and i place my hands on the table and i was like she she wants to hook up at your place. Please say no. Really?

And then he's like, yeah, no. There's hotels nearby. And Leffen starts looking up hotels on his phone. You don't get it. I don't want to do that, right? Because you don't want to. No, I was kind of fighting. Because if she just said, oh, yeah, we can go to mine,

I would have just said yes. But you didn't want to do all was kind of fighting because if she just said oh yeah we can go to mine i would have uh i would have just said yes i i imagined what you didn't want to do all the hassle i gotta i gotta sweetheart i mentioned what you were gonna say when you went up you put your hands in every like i must bust because i i think i phrased it in a way where it's like you you can say no but in a way where like if you if you suddenly changed your mind, I think I'd do it. Okay, I understand. But for context, this is like, I would say on a scale of who I'm typically attracted to, maybe she's a little lower on it. And you said it was a boys club. And now here you are telling this hard three that you don't want her, you weird old Swedish woman. That's not what I said.

This soft four. That's not what I said. This poor soft four. Sing Mamma Mia, get your bat. In my head, I'm like, she's like, she's like, she's still cute. Like, and I'm fucking in Sweden. Like, this would be, this would be cool. This would be fun.

And, and I, I've told you this before, but when I'm really drunk, I think Nick just killed... I just murdered a fly. That was spot on. No, no, no. No, I wait for no one. He's better than the bug zapper. That's a real bug zapper. This is man versus machine.

Elon won't beat us. He needs to prove we don't need that. Yeah. And your ball. So the result is you don't go with her? So... I feel like I had the next step in like what happened and now I can't remember. You said it'd be fun.

You're in Sweden. Oh, oh, I was going to provide the context of like if, okay, so when I'm drunk, I'm like the easiest person alive. I, I, I will, if I'm, if I'm wasted, this is probably maybe a bad thing to put out there, but if I'm wasted and you ask me to have sex with you i i will probably say yes i only 15 after telling people to dm you wow bold bold man and if you're over the age of 22 like yeah no it sounds like you're soliciting the bat signal to be like it's a yard shape signal you're like if i'm drunk i will fuck you dude i'm just explaining this no okay i will back this up amen you see a cloud in the sky that It's a yard-shaped signal. You're like, if I'm drunk, I will fuck you, dude.

I'm just explaining this. No, okay. I will back this up. You see a cloud in the sky that kind of looks like shingles? I should call him. I need Tom. I will back this up. I will back this up. Eamon, when he's drunk, is very enjoyable, and he's very, like, huggy.

He just crab walks around, and he wants to dance with you. Yeah, and he's like a big teddy bear and it's actually very fun he's very sweet but yeah so 33 year old you're easy to fuck i think what i'm saying is if i was sober i would not have done this like a hundred percent i would have said okay but we i'm like okay there's a hotel nearby and i was like i told her i was like well there's a place across the street i will do this i've never booked a hotel to have sex was like I told her I was like well there's a place across the street I will do this I've never booked a hotel to have sex with somebody in my life like this is but

this will be the first my first night in Sweden that's like what cheaters do in movies yeah very cinematic you're going to your first motel 6 it feels weird in a way but I'm like yeah fuck it Stockholm this is like funny this is yeah it's in Stockholm and you had some extra rupees and you're like, what let's do this

Yeah, the rupees Yeah, loner smash the pounds in the corner of the club and got some green So you get the whole guy buy you a drink I just knocked over a couple flower pots in the bar. And they're just like, oh, money. That's what the social programs do. They just put little bits of money around the seat. Did you buy it or have it or split? I ended up buying it.

Okay. But he was like, can you Venmo me? Hold on. Hold on. We go to this first hotel, which is right next to the bar. First hotel? Exactly. And they say, well, we can't't it's like past 1 a.m and

they're like well we can't uh we can't like book any rooms right now i work night on it and it's a pain in the ass to have someone come after the audit which is usually at midnight okay that's probably why yeah and uh and oh like oh okay and in my head it's got to be like this is over like that we gave it a good try and she's like no we'll try another this is her kink her kink is getting rejected at hotels she knows which ones will reject you expected just to like be like mario getting hit by something and then just be like and then you wake up at leffins but i actually had like three mushrooms worth of getting hit by something he's fire flowered yeah because i i find like he goes down one

she's like i don't know about this anymore i i'm ready to like i'm ready to go home like or go back to the bar because at this point they're still all there and uh i we head up the street and we're like talking and a really annoying thing and all people i don't i think this happens specifically with men and women. But when older women like date or hook up with like men who are younger with them, even if it's a few years, they just talk about it the whole time. Yes, that's true. And it is annoying. And every so while we're going.

Right. Yeah. Remember that one time? Right. That was crazy. Well, I mean. That's all that we got. No, but he understands knows he knows what i'm

talking about very it's they're just very self-conscious and they want to they they would like reassurance and like often you give them the reassurance like no i find you effective like this is great i'm this is a good ventures don't bother me honestly and and they just you know it is a thing she dude i was sort of i was almost doing the opposite in a way, because I was like, anytime she brought up the idea of this being weird, I would just be like, yeah, we don't have to do this. Like, if you want to head home, that's like, cool. Like, I would just say that.

It sounds like just a ringing endorsement. You're like, I want to go back to my friends so bad. We don't have to do this. But she would just like, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. And I'm like, okay. I love the idea of this woman being like, so why are you in Sweden?

And he's like, all right, so there's this guy named Ken. And so Ken said, if you grab someone, they can't move. Yeah, throw them up. And then Ken starts

losing to these guys and they're like, they're called like the five gods, right? And then finally, there's this little Swedish kid and he like, he gets really good

really fast. He's right here. He has more followers than young lean does he actually he did well i believe go on go on um so we we this becomes an escapade where we go up one street all the way like a long walk to another hotel it's got to be like 15 minutes they won't take us either she's like we gotta go to the other one. Go all the way back to a third hotel. They won't take us either. And at this point, I'm like,

this is it. You're going on a man's quest for pussy. I'm done. I'm talking to her. I've been drunk enough to keep going on this journey. And she must want to have sex really badly for us to have spent this much time hotel hopping.

Well, if you've ever watched Harold and Kumar, it ends good. So you're going to get it if you keep it that way. And she's got like 45 minutes until she's not able to child bear anymore. Right, yeah. Maybe that's why. That cuts deep. You know what? 45 from menopause?

That's too dark. It's interesting. Why from menopause? That's too dark. It's interesting there's no Swedish social system for her situation. Where you break up with somebody, but you still live with them. The government should be like, Hey, we have a place for you to stay, just so it's not awkward.

They can fuck people. You wouldn't expect Sweden to be a country that would give you that. There's no shot that has more followers than Youngling. Not anymore. I just know what you're doing. Finish this out, King. OK, so the final the final step of this is I'm ready.

She must give up at this point. Like I'm I'm ready to walk back. I'm ready for her to like cut the whole thing off. She's talking to this woman at the front desk in Swedish. And then she comes back to me and she's like,

oh, they have a hotel that where they'll, they can like book us. They just called us an Uber. It'll take us there. And I'm like, all right. And I,

I get in the car, we get to the hotel. We like book a night there. I end up paying for it after she had said like 50 times that like, I'll pay for the room. I'll pay for the room. And I'm just like, I I'm paying for this, which is, you 50 times that like, I'll pay for the room, I'll pay for the room. And I'm just like, I'm paying for this, which is, you know, that's part of the course of the story.

How many kroners? How many? It was like 170 US dollars for the night. Wow. Over a thousand kroners. And we hooked up. It was honestly, it was great. She was nice.

Like it was the whole, the whole evening's like cool. And we come out the next, the was great. She was nice. Like, it was the whole evening's, like, cool. And we come out the next morning. The next morning. Because it was dark when we got there. I don't know Stockholm. I've been in the city for fucking 12, 16 hours. And I walk out of the hotel. And we're just in, like, the most industrial area.

There was an airport. Like, some weird airport across the street. but not the airport that i flew into there's no apartments like i have no clue we're just in a russian countryside town and i'm like dude how did we how did we get here and i go on like my my like swedish walk of shame across the city to get back to Leffen's apartment. He's just throwing eggs at you and shit. And I come home and I knock on the door and Leffen opens it and he just smirks. And that was my first night in Sweden.

That's insane. That was your first night. Yeah. Most people try the food. Or they're like, is IKEA the same here? I don't know. Some people will do the uh the paratrooping strat which is you you don't have a place to stay but you get on tinder oh yeah and

you have to and you get a place to stay well there's couch surfing and there's bed surfing it sounds like she was doing that to you yeah when you said you ended up paying i was like she doesn't have a place that she lives yeah and that is where she stayed that night and tomorrow she's gonna do the same thing dude she's just she's just sucking and fucking her way to a warm bed every night yeah well no uh 15 years yeah yeah since she was 45 she we talked i mean this whole time right like we talked a lot i definitely got to know her better like all of her story of who she was and what she does definitely lined up. Do you have a pic of her?

No. What am I going to do? Snap one? What the fuck do you want? I have never had sex with anyone that I don't have a picture of. Yeah, because I didn't meet her on an app. You need to provide more context. I've only had sex with a few people, and I dated them for a while.

But you know what? You know what? One thing I wanted to bring up, though, is after visiting, I get why you don't like it. Like, why you specifically don't like it. So you both hate Sweden now. No, I love it. You are decimating our Swedish viewership

on the basis of hate. Our Swedish viewership's not that high, one. Oh, it's hedge. Two, Swedes get it. Swedes hate... No, first of all, it's hedge. Two. Come on. Swedes get it. Swedes hate. No. First of all, I don't hate Sweden. You said you did.

No. Okay, don't do this because in the last episode, you said this. And then we literally rolled the clip in the last episode. We settled. I've never said I hate Sweden. Roll it again. Roll us calling back to it and then roll it again. I want to roll back the last episode with the rollback in it.

I said I would hate living in Sweden. Yes. Why do you guys hate Swedish people now? Okay, again, I did not hate it. I had a wonderful time.

Explain why you thought I was... I said I understood why you hated it. Yeah, why? It's because I think the whole structure of that city

and their society is the... What I kept thinking in my head is you know how Ludwig calls everything he thinks cool he's just like

oh that's pog yeah nothing in Sweden is pog it's just like it's nice what does that mean I get what he's saying

it's nothing nothing is like nothing surpasses these insane expectations it's just like oh this is all very nice he couldn't he couldn't live

his American life that he loves here there it would not be possible no matter the amount of money that he has just has to go to find out because no i'm not not gonna go the size of homes the layout of the streets he could not get away with crop top crocs in sweden no because it wouldn't be it wouldn't be admirable or confident or funny he'd just be a loser yeah oh. Oh, yeah. Well, now I like it.

What, you're telling me they bully over there? I'm trying to go. And a house this big, it just doesn't exist, even if you're ultra wealthy. I can't believe he got capitalist-pilled by going to a socialist country. I, again, loved it there. Again, I want to reiterate reiterate i had a great time i just i think i had a way better understanding of why you wouldn't want to live there so you can't dress like a goofy idiot in sweden and so you're like it's stupid like why are you having me defend his points like you like you literally because you're together because you're together can you can

you settle something for us actually a little bit me and anthony were having a conversation when you were not there. Sure. And I was saying that. We were talking a lot of shit. I was saying, well, no. It was hype. Well, I don't agree.

I want to shake your hand, but I want to agree with you. Please don't shake on it. Ah. Got it soft. Okay, anyway. So we were talking about when you wear cropped shirts. Uh-huh. And I was saying that Ludwig likes wearing cropped shirts.

Like, he feels good in them. He feels empowered in them, and he likes wearing them. Sure. Anthony was saying, no, that is not true. He does it as a complete joke, and he's only doing it to be funny. Who is correct? Now, when we say cropped shirts, we're talking about, for instance, your Naruto shirt that's, like, this big. I knew it.

Yeah. Okay. Next one. I don't believe that you— What? He's the source! I don't care. No, no, no.

What I'm saying is, like, so you wear a cropped Naruto shirt, and you are drawing no irony from that? Why not just buy a normal blue cropped shirt? You're saying that when you dress nice, that doesn't mean anything. You're shifting it. You're making it about Naruto.

We were talking about the crop. Oh. Okay, well, I think that's still... That's all I've ever seen him wear. I just... I like crop tops. They're pretty, they're tactical crop tops. Okay.

And this much of you is like exposed, right? Yeah. Sometimes I wear my shirts like this. And you're going out. And then QD is always like, put your shirt down. You know what, Ludwig? I understand you and I've demonstrated this today. No, it's fine.

I just think that it's completely ironic, but you're saying it's for a comfort thing. I like crop tops too. Yeah, I think they're fine. He likes the style. But you don't, like, how many do you have? Okay, so you're, like, trying to make an argument that I haven't purchased it because I don't like it, but I have not bought myself clothes that haven't been from Cutie or from a sponsor. I'm not talking about what you've bought.

I'm talking about how many do you own. That's all. I think Nick is right. And I'll just end it there. He's not answering the question. So it's literally a dollar to one. I think I just own a crop top. And I can't divorce anime from the crop top. I question. I think I just own a crop top.

And I can't divorce anime from the crop top. I mean, do you like your strawberry shorts? Yeah. You only own one pair. He owns one crop top. No, but those look good. And they're shorts. It's like a style.

Yeah, I guess it's like it's a garment that is so physically different. It's like you can have shorts like these or you can have strawberries on them, right? But a crop top is like way different than any shirt that he would typically wear so i'm just trying to put this together i think this is a fair this is a fair this is fair but i think he's wrong crop top and it has anime on it which means which means give me a break it could still be correct but i think the argument that he's making has it has merit i have to buy a crop top. If you really loved crop tops, you would seek them out. Why do I have to really love it now? Because he doesn't have to really love them to like the one

he owns and wears. Again, I think... It's an item that he owns and he likes it. He doesn't have to go buy more. I just like my crop top, but if you want to be right, I'm happy for you to be right too. I'm just saying, to your argument... We need to do the mogul move. If you like crocs, right? And you only buy one pair and you wear them all the time. You don't have to go buy more to be a guy who likes crocs. I'm saying saying, to your argument... We need to do the mogul move. If you like Crocs, right? Yeah. And you only buy one pair and you wear them all the time. You don't have to go buy more to be a guy who likes Crocs.

I'm saying crop tops are so different than just wearing Crocs or wearing shorts. Crocs are an insanely different shoe. This is very similar to that. No, this is like having slippers. No, it is... Okay, no. They're stylistically very different than regular shoes. This is gender neutral.

Crocs are gender neutral. A crop top, I would argue, isn't. There is a very feminine slant, right? It can This is gender neutral. Crocs are gender neutral. A crop top, I would argue, isn't. There is a very feminine slant, right? It can totally be gender neutral. No,

I think it can be, right? But societally, it definitely leans in one direction. Sure, and if you break the statistics out

of who wears one more. And I think it's overwhelming that there is this idea that crop tops are inherently feminine and for Ludwig to embrace that

very majorly feminine garment. It means you love your masculinity. It feels very ironic to me. Which is the exact reason I said was that I don't think he feels feminine. I think he feels masculine wearing it. Well, isn't that caked in irony? No. No, I

feel badass. Do you? Yeah. You're missing something because I totally understand how you feel. I wear a crop top and I am chubby and out of shape and I don't give a shit.

So anyone else who watches me can't call me a pussy and they can all be like, oh, I can wear a crop top too. So you're empowering yourself without the veil of irony. Yeah.

Because I've worn a crop top on stream, zoomed in, and no news of crop top. Okay. I think, once again, I cannot divorce the fact that anime is printed on it. So everything is just thrown out the window for me. I understand.

Bro, this is anime. I know. Yeah, but that's a t-shirt. On the note of Ludwig dressing like, not this is an example of it, but I'm dressing like dumbass. We all went to the zoo without Aiden while he was in Sweden. That's funny. Which is funny because we never do anything as a house ever.

And then Aiden leaves and we all go to the fucking zoo. I took a day off work. Out of nowhere. It's like really weird. You know how we can't all have a day off, Aiden? We can't all have one. We all did and we all went to the zoo.

But sometimes we can have a day off. When they can never have a day off. And Ludwig went to the zoo wearing a tank top that said, I flexed so hard the sleeves came off and a bucket hat. And his whole outfit was just so fucking funny.

Yeah. It was part of my fun shirt bin. Yeah. You're in the video that you made. Yeah. I have footage of Ludwig sifting through his stupid shirt box, which he has not done a stream with, by the way. That's why I think it exists right there.

Yeah. I do. I hear your thing. I know it exists. No crop tops in that box. Exists right there. Yeah. I do. I hear your thing. I know. What did you call him in the video? It was a fat Backtree boy. Yeah. Because he was kind of like That was super funny. It's only because you were giving me like purse lips and you kind of, from that angle, you were a little

thick. And the hat and the shades. But you do look good now. I'm not offended. I'm stronger than everyone in this room. Yeah. And I looked tight. You looked sick, dude. I'm not offended. I'm stronger than everyone in this room. Yeah. And I looked tight. You looked sick, dude. I was fitted and fitted. Why does your left arm look like it's swollen up with like, sort of liquid?

You look like the meme of the guy who beats off with one arm. You're a coomer, dude. Anyway, yeah, the fit was insane. And it was fun. We saw a monkey. Oh, we saw so many monkeys. We did see some monkeys. Yeah, I'm the flamingo, apparently.

Oh, you were so many more people that we didn't show. We just kept pointing at animals and being like, that's Aiden. Like a giraffe. Yeah, you were a giraffe many times. There was a baby giraffe that was sucking its mother's teeth and then its mother hit it off of her. Yeah, I saw that. That was Atriox. That was, yeah.

That was Atriox. It was Aiden first. They didn't make the play. It's always Aiden first. Yeah. That was Atriox. That was, yeah. That was Atriox. It was Aiden first. We just, they didn't make the play. It's always Aiden first. No, the big giraffe was me. Oh, show this pic. I love this pic.

Oh, yeah. This one's so good. This one's so good. This is literally like, like gathering around the Kodak and showing the fucking slides from our trip.

Yeah, yeah, this is Don Draper. She's great. Yeah, it was really fun. My big goal was to see capybaras and monkeys. There were no capybaras there, this is Don Draper. She's great. Yeah, it was really fun. My big goal was to see capybaras and monkeys. There were no capybaras there, which is unfortunate.

They were hit. Wait, you went to the... It wasn't San Diego Zoo. Oh, you went to San Diego Zoo. Yeah. Okay, cool. It was a big day. Yeah, yeah.

It was sad because I get online. I get fucking on Twitter, dude. Fucking see. Everybody went to the zoo. Posted nice pictures together. What do you want us to do? Pause life when you go to Sweden for six days? I bought this cool hat. I'm just saying, on Twitter, dude. Fucking see? Everybody went to the zoo, posted nice, cute pictures together. What do you want us to do?

Pause life when you go to Sweden for six days? I bought this cool hat. I'm just saying, we don't do anything normal. You're out. I'm just saying, we don't do it normally.

Every time you go on a trip to Europe without us, we are going to do a fun trip here without you. Yes. So you will always feel fractured. There will always be FOMO. It doesn't matter where you go.

No, you can't do this to me. It's cute. We will, and we do. And we will. We also just officially booked Italy. We did. The yard is going to Italy. We booked Aiden's ticket for him without asking him what he wanted when he wasn't here.

I'm publicly calling it on the podcast now. I get the window seat. You can get thrown out the window seat, brother brother I don't fucking care where you do a money match for it we we're in the same row together you know I was saying we could we could bring multiple laptops and we could have we have we split us up in two teams yeah and we have both teams have to produce a combo video before the plane lands oh yeah I would put Lubbock's Fox on seven posters I will sit on this plane in business and pretend not to know you guys when you board me and Aiden's entire video is just me crouching

and resting in with Puff when he plays Sheik it's like a hundred clips of that I don't want to go I'm loathing it so there's an episode of Jackass where they do the gumball run you know what the gumball run is? it's like a rally race across Europe

where it's like multi-day race, right? You got to get from one country to another in any way possible, typically in a car. And they do a gumball. And Steve-O, the whole episode, is being so pissy. He looks like he does not want to be there. Every piece of Steve-O footage that they put in the episode, he's complaining and he sucks and he's being a huge whiner. And then at the very end, they get hammered on a boat and he's way happier. And I'm going to be Steve-O for this trip except for the boat part.

Well, that sounds like the fun part. Yeah. Why can't you just drink olive oil from Italy, in Italy, and then be like Pog? Because I have it at home now. You know what I don't understand about this? Is you were excited to travel in general. Like, over the past, like, year or so. I think that this being, if I was going to Italy alone for a week. Yeah.

To just, like, live in a field or something. Yeah. I'd be very much more excited about it. But there'd still be a tinge of, like, I don't want to go. This is a planned group activity. It's a planned group activity to the highest caliber. With high effort. And I, by the way, I'm capping. I'm not going to make it, I'm not going to be pissy.

I'm going to be a great mood for all of you guys. However, there's always this piece in my brain when I'm like doing something or traveling or something that's like, puts too much pressure. I'm like, ugh. I want to go to sleep on the floor. He doesn't want to confront his Italian heritage. Why would I not want to confront that?

I confront it every day when I look in the mirror. Emotional baggage. There's no emotional baggage. I love the DePete. I want to ride on a moped with Ludwig like the Lizzie McGuire movie. Dude, that'd be tight. I would love to ride mopeds through Roma. Yeah, let's do it.

Is it Naples or napoli well napoli is okay is yeah yeah oh that's where we're going we're going to rome say like is that where lazy mcguire went well yeah we're gonna go to rome and then we're gonna go to napoli napoli well i don't want to say too much where we're going or i don't want these italian snipers coming out with fucking pizza and pasta and hey what's the shape of Italy? Gabagool. Food? You get kicked from the Xbox Live party. Oh!

Get fucked. Free kick, yeah. Italy weirds me out. You're Italian. He found out Olive Garden actually isn't there. He found out Mario's not real. Dude, traveling is whack. What are you talking about?

Are you just saying stuff? You traveled. You've also traveled. that's what bothers me about this you went to the uk you went to australia you had a great time in australia great time missions for all of these there's no mission here it's just we're going to film the podcast yeah that's the mission but if we didn't why not just go we are we're bruno because that's also it's a stupid mission why because it's so arbitrary it's like okay so we're gonna film a podcast in like

a different country wouldn't that be crazy and it's like no it doesn't make sense nothing about every podcast is arbitrary every single one

on the fucking map and it's weird it's weird to me that's fine it's outside of my box and it freaks me out we should do the dart thing next time

that would be so cool I'm actually it's actually mostly water you hit yeah but you just do it until you hit land you know who did that game attack

oh really yeah oh they did do that but there was like a bunch of places they actually couldn't go right yeah they like did it

and they got like something super lame and it was like a tiny tiny town in like Russia they just keep going until they get Barcelona or something That's not lame. That's like way more well the content that came from it was lame the content was like

There's really bad cell service For not uploading our Mario Party game that is what they get yeah Sean you think that's why Greg Jimmy didn't upload. Is travel an inherently dead-ended idea? No, I just think the wonders of the world aren't good. I'm losing my mind. No, no, no. I'm talking about content-wise. Oh, okay.

For instance, travel vlogs. It's like, I'm the kind of person who's like, who cares? Enjoy your trip. Mr. Beast, a video idea that he would think of would be like, I'm going to get three million people to jump at the same time to see if it changes earth's fucking sick sphere that's great that's what he would do all right and if you only gets like a hundred people to do it he'd be like ah not good enough for like a hundred thousand like not good enough are we cringe travel bloggers my question

no we're not shooting a vlog yeah i think so i think my plan for when I go there is I want to do a taste comparison and I want to bring a DiGiorno pizza to Italy. You're going to smuggle a DiGiorno? I'm going to smuggle

a Giorno and then I'm going to do a side-by-side taste comparison. Dude, you might get detained. I hope I do. No. That's so funny.

That would be good for the video. I think it'd be really hard to get you out. If he checks his bag, it's fine. If you get the square DiGiorno, real ones fucking no. Don't get the circle DiGiorno, real ones fucking no.

Don't get the circle DiGiorno. I'm going to be like Pink Panther, like pretending I'm smuggling guns. You bring a square DiGiorno to Italy, I might like the DiGiorno more. I'm going to be like, don't check my bag. Dude, it's Lord of War, but instead of smuggling weapons, it's just people. You'll hate what's in here. Italians are going to hate me when I land. Italians hate this, man.

They might just put one in your fucking chest, brother. No, they wouldn't do that in Italy. They'd throw a meatball at you. I wonder if the Italians make you watch 90 Minutes of Luca. I wonder if the Italian store-bought microwave pizzas taste better than ours. Ooh, that's a good test. A good comparison. American Giorno's versus Italian Giorno's.

Yeah. Three pizzas. We go meet the Giorno. We go meet the man. I am excited to go to Italy. I want to see Mr. Garden. I want to see Mr. Giorno's. Three pizzas. We go meet Giorno. We go meet the man. I am excited to go to Italy. I want to see Mr. Garden. I want to see Mr. Giorno. Alright. I want to see Mr. Spaghetti. Dude, someone

in the comments last episode was like, yeah, they're really like, they're actually just tanking their European viewership with these comments. And I'm like, good. Yeah, dude, I have to admit, like, when I watched the episode back, I was like, dude, the messy one loses us some people. I just don't know. No, no, it's fine because we all, like, when I watched the episode back, I was like, dude, the messy one loses us some people. I just don't know.

No, no, it's fine because we all, like, three of us knew who these people were. You know what I mean? I'm also European and speak French and have citizenship. They were getting on you for that, too. They were like, you're fake. You're fake until you could. You're fur- I have citizenship.

They were saying you're only French when it benefits you. Yeah. Yeah, that's sick. And you wrote off Sweden. I have citizenship in France. I'm French. They just have to hold that. Yeah.

Yeah, they do. I'm there. And I'll see you in Paris. Fils de pute. I'm also only American when it counts too, right? This episode drops and you get it revoked. 2016, Trump hit the fucking White House, and I walked around campus being like,

I'm French, guys. Yeah, sorry, I don't understand Sibu players. I did not vote in politics. I'm French. Macron, he's my guy. Actually, the first time I ever had a problem with being, like a real problem with being American abroad was like

the last time I was in Europe before this trip and I was in Copenhagen and we were in a line for a club and it's like all like just young wasted Danish people waiting in line to get in and it's the same group of people I was hanging out with on this trip and we were in line talking to people and it comes up that I'm American with like a group

of people and they get fucking mad. They're like, how could you vote Trump in office? Like, why would you do that? Why are you guys so fucking obsessed with guns? But it's not like, usually it's like a ha ha, like type of joke thing, but they were angry at me. And I was like, I'm, I didn't vote for him. I like, I'm so sorry.

My dad's a pilot. I'm racist. And then I started dealing like, I'm Canadian vote for him. I'm so sorry. My dad's a pilot. He's racist. And then I started to be like, I'm Canadian. I moved there. Like, I started backing down, like, real quick. Because I never felt, like, I'd never actually gotten heat for it before. That's hot. Which was, like, pretty, honestly pretty, like, uncomfortable for a moment. Which is so funny.

Because it's, like, you showing up there and being, like, really $45 for a chair at Ikea. funny because it's like you showing up there and being like really $45 for a chair at Ikea. Like how fucking dare you bro? I just want some meatball like I pay fucking a dollar.

Yeah exactly. Your locks are overpriced and they're shot equality. And they were doing dude they were like saying I don't know some kids in that line were like saying

fucked up shit about like their country too. Fucking you know complaining about immigrants Is the old guy who smokes weed in the IKEA their president? Yeah. That's the president of Denmark?

You know Sweden still has a king and a queen? There's a king and a queen. They have a king. I saw the palace. It's Mario and Peach. Dude, they don't make any waves. I've never heard of these. They make zero waves.

They have zero clouds. Mario was Italian 20 minutes ago. Now he's Swedish. Swedish Mario. I have a podcast. You know how people have alternative Twitter accounts? I had one called Portuguese Mario. Yeah. Portuguese Mario was so fucking funny.

Did it get shut down or still up? I turned it into something else. It was a commentary on how stupid alt accounts are. Yeah. But, however, I was thinking about this the other day, because ConnorEatsPants was under fire for saying the word lesbian, and he was tweeting on his alt. And I'm like, these people's alts have a shitload of followers,

and people will use them more. And I find it really interesting, because it's like, are you that afraid of losing brand? I know Connor doesn't care, but it's like, for instance, but it's like for instance pokemon pokemon has an alt and she has her main and it's like why what is the purpose i think a smaller community of people who are it's like it's like going even more into your own sphere and getting a better feedback yeah because it eliminates people who aren't a big enough fan to know that you have that and then the people who will follow you i think it's also an easy way to keep your main brand safe so

you can accept any deal in the world and then say what you actually want on your side account it's probably also not to devalue tweets because if you tweet too often then your average tweet like will go down on her alt right like she usually gets a little more personal on on it i feel like so i think there's like that that first fear of people who are more surface-level fans or just interested in you don't necessarily want to fucking see you sad posting on main, even if you are a mega influencer.

And then you can go like, you can create this alt where only the hardcore people will go and you don't have to worry about the numbers. And you can like, and then you can sad post. Like if I needed really badly a videographer

I could tweet out like hey need a videographer can anyone help on the other account I would never do that on main cause it'd be a fucking mess yeah cause you just have people who aren't videographers

tweeting at you like over and over and over again yeah and it would just be a waste of time and on an alt it'd be less she also had it locked for a while

which made sense to me yeah that's that doesn't make sense to me because it's an account with like 300,000 followers well more so like locking it so it can't be retweeted and quote retweeted. Tommy has like an alt YouTube and an alt Twitter and like the alt YouTube links to the alt Twitter. And it almost has a million followers.

And they're both verified. Yeah, they're both verified. I don't get that. He's got to pretend to be the FBI. He's got to take that check. Corpse has two accounts and they're both verified. And I could not tell you why he tweets from one or the other. But he now has ended up with two very successful Twitter accounts, so honestly

he did something right. It's weird. It is weird. I mean, if you got two successful Twitter accounts can you, that's not a bad thing, I guess. Is it? Okay, here's YoungLean and here's Leffen. Oh, wow. Leffen is beating him. So the reason I brought this up is because I was talking to BenSW at the holiday party,

the Twitch holiday party, and we were talking and he's like, yeah, I hang out with Leffen. It's because I was talking to Ben SW at the holiday party, the Twitch holiday party, and we were talking, and he's like, yeah, I hang out with Leffen sometimes. I'm like, oh, really? We're just, like, catching up bullshitting. He was like, it was really weird. Me and Leffen went to a Young Lean concert. I was like, really? He's like, yeah. And I turn to Leffen, I'm like, you have more followers than him.

And you're in the concert. Leffen was like, yeah. Yeah. Getting people to show up to your concert, that's respect. And getting people to download Coinbase is our job. Hey, how's it going, guys? Oh, seamless. Sponsored by Coinbase, once again,

10 times straight, back to back to back. You know the vibes. Why don't you tell them our code? No, you can figure it out. 10 straight episodes of Coinbase sponsoring the yard. We really appreciate it. We don't have a code, but you have a phone, and you can go and download the app on your phone.

Download the blue C. Check out some things on there. Click some buttons. Tap around. Why not? Get a little USDC. Get a little crazy. Yeah.

Get whatever you want to get in this crypto current world with Coinbase. Super appreciate Coinbase's response on the pod and thanks for hopefully checking it out guys. Unrelated. How's your Ethereum doing? Can't talk about it in a sponsor piece because that's against their terms of service. We don't know how it's doing but we love Coinbase. MrBeast

did that Coinbase thing YouTube video and I clicked on it because someone in the yard was like oh MrBeast has a code haha and, the YouTube video. And I clicked on it because someone in the yard was like, oh, MrBeast has a code, haha, and linked to the timestamp. And I found myself just watching the video because it's insane. That's good content. It's the one where he's like, he has everyone in a circle, and if you leave the circle, you lose. If you stay in, you can win half a million dollars.

Half a million? You have to stand, right? This guy doesn't fuck around anymore, dude. You have to stand. You have to stand. At a certain point, you can only stand on a pad that is the size of your feet. It was like one foot by one foot. Yeah.

Okay. And then it changes to one that's this literal outline of your feet. Did people pee their pants? I don't know. I mean, I have no idea what happened behind the scenes. It could all be, you know, fake. No, on the video, they didn't pee their pants. No.

No peeing their pants on video. I am 90, a thousand percent sure that none of his videos are fake. Yeah, I think so, too. I would love to see hot, hot pictures. They're real. But I found myself watching this video, and at the end, it's's like there's like seven people left or whatever and he's like in you know in the next video which comes out tomorrow they're all gonna play tag for who wins it all and i i literally like the video ended and i was like i'm gonna watch tomorrow

and it's the first time i have ever in my life done that and it watched like a youtuber like that yeah and it went like i'm gonna tomorrow I will check again and then later I was like telling someone else about this like watch this it's crazy I'm gonna watch the next one tomorrow I did that for the first time in my life on a much smaller scale cause I didn't have a youtube video when we got back um like right around

this weekend cause I just had a bunch of shit to do and so I uploaded a trailer for a video and I was like check out this video tomorrow. The Ludlock one, huh? Yeah, for the Ludlock video. That's why people were hyping about it. Yeah, because I was like, this video's coming out tomorrow?

Not today. But here's the trailer. Did you edit it? Did I say it again? Did you edit it? No, the trailer? Yeah. No.

Sometimes it's funny. You guys, if you're Ludwig fans, you'll see, because I do this sheet every month for who edits and who gets paid, and sometimes they're edited by him. I do throw in a couple. And it's very cute because it's edited by Ludwig. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I've made a couple videos if we're on a crunch. Right now we're on a crunch. I think they have one thing to edit because Polite had edited that video. It took him like 40 hours. He'd just been selling his soul. He did sacrifice himself for that. It was a mammoth of a project it was three months in a hundred plus hours of video footage uh and a 40 minute that just me telling the story was 40 minutes sitting down on a computer with a script i wrote can you that's so and i'm sorry that i don't know yeah

but can you explain to me why this was such a large event? Well, it was just because how long it took, I think, mainly. Oh, because of the amount of attempts. Yeah. This was on Yeti's ROM, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It was made by Drayano, and Yeti changed it a bit.

There were some great artists who worked on it. Who was the best trainer? The best trainer? It was me. I was the final guy. I'm the final guy. No, but sometimes the earlier guys give you a bit of trouble. You're not the champion. Who's the champion trainer? The best trainer? It was me. I was the final guy. I'm the final guy. No, but sometimes the earlier guys give you a bit of trouble. You're not the champion.

Who's the champion? I'm the champion. Are you the champion? You have to beat Slime. No, I think you're just the final Elite Four trainer, and then the champion is Cynthia, who is... It's still Cynthia. Cynthia's just goaded.

Is it just... Is it you? Lotto doesn't know. I actually forget. This is crazy. This is real, by the way. This is how he lives. I am forgetful.

You played this for three months. Can I? Okay, so on the subject of Ludwig being a human being sometimes, there are two things I wanted to bring up. One, I tweeted this out once. The closest you will ever see to Ludwig being his raw, exposed self is in the description of his YouTube video if you write something.

Because it's for you. I almost never do. I know, but you used to. And you used to and those messages are very, very, very heartfelt. I didn't even remember what I wrote. Want to tell you a big Ludwig moment I had this past weekend? Come on, it's time for the big Ludwig moment of the week!

It's the big Ludwig moment of the week. It's the big Ludwig moment of the week. What is this plan going to be? Hey, how's it going? This is the Ludwig moment. So this past week, I was supposed to go rock climbing. Because after Mogul Money, I was hit up by Noel Miller to do some stuff together. Because we were like, you were like we had hung out there and he was texting me because we exchanged numbers

to do random stuff he was like let's go drifting and I was like okay let's go eat 10 hot dogs and I was like alright sure he's like I've been carting lately and I was like okay yeah that sounds scary but i will do it and uh and then he kept

delaying and delaying and delaying and then uh i get a message from him on discord and it's like yo want to go rock climbing and i'm like yeah for sure man that's that's uh that's chill uh because it's the same day he texted me and uh and then we're talking it's the day before we're supposed to go i went this morning uh yesterday and he messages me and he's like i'm bringing a friend and i asked nick if he wants to go i'm like yeah can i bring nick and then he replies uh yeah uh envy yeah of course you can bring like that's weird that you would know me and noelle miller we go back yeah that his tag yeah we met once you know and then i startedassem G., Noah Miller. Reading through the messages. Drifting.

And he was, like, very specific about how you could save money if you had a monthly membership. And I was like, that's, I mean, like, that's cool. I guess he's, like, you know, frugal. And I kept reading. And then I recognized this was not Noel Miller messaging me. This is our friend Noel. My old roommate. His old roommate.

That Ludwigwig I think maybe has been in a room with less than five times yeah we've hung out it's probably been like five to ten it's not as few as you think

but to be fair the legendary Noel who cracked a CSGO knife in the game and bought a real car in real life he bought a used Honda

he bought a used car in real life selling a knife we were got in Patterson. We were on cash. He cracks it in the pre-round. Everyone starts freaking out. It was like a Sapphire Butterfly knife. Instant sell.

Such a nice knife. Instant sell. Instant buy car. That is so fucking sick. That is so sick to sell pixels and then get car, which I guess is what everyone's doing nowadays, but he did it before it was cool. Dude, he cracked a car.

Yeah, it was crazy. Wait, CSGO Dives are just NFTs. Yeah. It's all gambling. Wow. Hold on. Hold on. Now he's getting it.

Hold on. I would have got it. Let me go crack a few. Oh, dude, that's going to be the next thing. What? Cracking NFTs. Oh, to see if you get some hype? Yeah, like you're rolling NFTs.

Oh, man. I got to aim it. That's just crypto gambling. Shut up. Well, it's not because you're getting a product, right? I think it's... Dude, that's the next... Look, it's already a bad situation.

Can we just make this? We'll be so rich. Everyone will hate us, but we'll be so rich. Is it worth it? Hold on, hold on. Put it allegedly in front of us. We can make our lives new again. Put it allegedly in front of us.

What if we allegedly made this? I know he'll watch this. Launders keeps changing his fucking profile pictures to different crypto punks or whatever they're called. Bro, you're on thin ice with me, brother. You're in the NFT sauce. You're on thin fucking ice. Every motherfucker. Launders and NFT.

Everyone keeps changing their shit to NFTs. I'm losing it. I can't tell. I can't. So Schlatt, Ted, and like a couple of that group are doing the whole brick meme. Are they kidding? Or did they actually buy them?

Well, they bought them and the price for them went up. So they're kidding, but they're also making shit up. But they actually bought them? Well, they bought them and the price for them went up. So they're kidding, but they're also making But they actually bought them? I thought they were, oh my God, I don't get it. So it's like, the meme is like

the price of the brick went up? He bought an NFT that was just a brick and it's called Just Bricks. Oh. And they have like three, a brick, it's just a brick. Yeah, it's like 500

different types of bricks. Value isn't real and I learned this at the zoo because I was looking at the monkeys and I was like, First thing he thought was, that's me, I'm that monkey. Yes. I'm monkey. But I saw the monkeys and I was like, first thing he thought was that's me. I'm that monkey.

Yes. But I saw the monkeys and I was like, I like, I could give them money and they wouldn't care. Right. It doesn't matter to me. He said that out loud. Yeah.

He was like, monkeys don't care about fiat currency. Yeah. I said that because they don't, because you hand a monkey some paper and he's like, whatever. You're like, you're like money to a monk.

Yeah. Just nothing. Dude. It's like money to a monk. Yeah. Just nothing. Dude, I, like, learned about humanity that day. It was crazy. And that's where I'm at now. And that's where you are. I just figured out that NFTs are CSGO knives. And now it makes sense.

And I'm going to be an NFT profile picture guy. So anyway, our friend Noel. By the way, I lived with Noel. This moth wants hands. And I've never hung out with him. Yeah. One-on-one. I love that baby boy. So I thought I was

hanging out with Noel Miller and then I realized the moment he said envy because there's no way Noel Miller knew Nick's smash tag. We go back. And then I re-read everything and I had like a Jimmy Neutron brain blast. And so I just hung out with our friend Noel. And it was great. It was a great time.

I think I'm going back again. I'm so happy you went and that you didn't bail. Noel Miller would be a fox. No, I would never bail. If anything, I was more great time I think I'm going back again I'm so happy you went and that you didn't bail Noelle Miller No I would never bail if anything I was more comfortable cause I hadn't climbed in over two years and I'm like out of shape and I was like I don't wanna be shit

and like Noelle Miller is like in front of cool Noelle Miller someone I'm just not comfortable with enough to be that embarrassed he's like I'm not gonna F1 with this guy I bailed

because I slept in I felt really bad but I felt even worse that now it was like someone who was actually my friend I messed because I slept in. I felt really bad, but I felt even worse that now it was like someone who was actually my friend. I messaged him. I was like,

I feel so bad that I bailed. I'll do it next time. But it was actually really fun and I was able to, I felt like, I think I would have had a fine time as Noel Miller too, but I was able to like

ask more questions, I think, than I normally would have. I saw Noel Miller on a random exercise commercial. Yeah, dude, me too, the rowing one.

Yeah, he's rowing a machine and I had the sound off but it's just him like smiling and talking the audio is the audio is it's like it's like uh a bootleg american cards with kevin spacey he's like oh just just rowing here just rowing here you like what i'm doing they definitely were like just use it and say something and he was like yeah i got the mission i can do that what's funny is i saw it after watching his instagram story and i was like i thought it was still the story but it's just an ad oh it just targeted me interesting i think they know instagram ads no i don't know either this ad was huge or we got targeted i i i'm often told that instagram ads are the ones that you that are have to get. I have purchased so much shit off of Instagram ads. What?

They fucking are in my brain. I've never ever, well. It's like, dude. Instagram, okay. It's like existence. Do you do it like you see the ad, then you buy the thing? Okay, so I'm scrolling Instagram, which I rarely do. I just don't use the platform very much.

Yeah. But I'll just like, when I'm doing the fucking doom scroll, where I just open all of my socials back and forth over and over for like 10 minutes i'll hit instagram and i'll give it i'll give it a one and uh i'll often see just like a picture of something and i'm like that looks really sick that's a hoodie and that looks cool yeah and it has mario smoking a blunt on it yeah that's awesome have you ever dreamed this amen and then i'll scroll it a couple times and i'm like wait all of these items are very cool then i'll go to the company's website and i'll buy eight things.

And I'll be like, I have a treat coming for me. That's crazy. I do that once a week. You know what I do that with? I do that with TikTok. I like to see some dope shit on TikTok. Well, you know those sweaters I was wearing for a while? They all shrunk.

But I was wearing them for a while. It was like the Martin Across ones. You can't wash those. You can't wash it like that. That had like fancy, funky designs. They have multicolored. I know what you're talking about. Oh wait yeah. That was just on TikTok. Like I just saw the guy on

TikTok and he was the one who made it. It was like his own TikTok. Yeah. And I bought it. But I feel better about that because I'm watching the human who makes it make a TikTok and it's not an ad I guess. Yeah. But it is an ad. Everything is an ad. Yeah that's true. Yeah. But I got by like Instagram ads because I saw like Quip adsip ads, and I was like, I'm

not going to get that. But then I showed up at Target, and they were there, and I was like, Quip day. Were you the one who made fun of me for Quip? Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you started doing it? That was him, and then me, and then I hopped on it because he did it, and I thought it was cool to make fun of you.

It's like the toothbrush that, like, got marketed to everyone at one point. Oh, that weird thing you can, like, replace the head. It looks like a very thin dildo. Okay. Yeah. Have you guys ever bought a dildo? No. Yes.

No. Wait, what? Wait, but this is not unrelated. I didn't think I was going to tell this story, but I'm going to. Today, literally before this podcast, like three hours ago, I was taking a shower because I didn't shower this morning, and I squat down to pick up a razor that I had dropped. And I squat down, and I sit butt naked on top of my shampoo bottle.

Tresume, by the way. It's Tresume. So the top is like the... It sticks up like this, and then it's bent down this way. It looks like the Starman from Earthbound. I'm not joking to make this story more entertaining. I sit down on it with all of my weight. It slightly enters me.

And then I pressed it because I sat, and some shampoo came out. And I went, ah! You got cream-pied by your shampoo bottle? Tresemme came in your butthole? Yeah, I got the Tresemme guarantee up my asshole.

And then I was like, oh! And I was like, I just learned a little bit about myself. I discovered a little bit about me. I like how you're making this sound especially effeminate. That's what it was like in the moment. I was like, oh. How dare you?

I was a proper woman until now. Wow. You should have asked my daddy first. That's great. Yeah, it was awesome. Your purity, it's gone yeah that's hype i'm probably the cleanest i've ever been down there oh yeah when i bought a dildo it was for a gag uh i went to vegas it was a long time ago i was in college and uh my roommate

who at the same one who i explained in the that what became a tiktok it's actually popping off which is crazy uh my same roommate in college, I came home from Vegas after purchasing a dildo in a store, right? And it came in this, like, plastic casing, and it was, like, big. It was like a fucking it wasn't too big, right? Because it was for a gag. I was gonna put it in the freezer and just leave it there.

Throw it at a wall. Watch it disintegrate. But I didn't want it to be so stupid big, because it was weird, because I wanted one that was still, like, just for like the sake of like physics but for like you know it was a pretty large dildo i have this dildo and uh it's like rubbery and it's like a good one it's like 40 bucks dildos are expensive and i go the only time i used it as a gag and i walked into the house he keeps reiterating this. I fucked myself as a gag. So I was using it as a total joke.

And I came, but I was still kidding. I was still kidding. I made joke cum come out of my wiener. It was totally... His commitment to the pit. It was parody cum. And so I come home, and I take it out of the package, and he's playing computer games in his room.

And I walk into his room, and his desk is kind of along the wall, and I can walk into his room without him seeing me, and his desk is above me, and I just pop it up. And I'm like, like a little puppet. He sees it, busts out laughing. That's that. I throw it in my drawer for the rest of its duration of its life. Never see it again. Gag. No. So I in my drawer for the rest of its duration of its life never see it again

gag no but so so i opened my drawer like months later it's like buried back in like my like shorts and like gym shorts and shit it's got these like black marks on it like not marks but like spots that look like lesions on skin and it was gross your dildo got an sti yeah so and i was really kind of worried because i was like okay what can this mean my roommate's using my dildo i'm using my dildo in my sleep or something by the way great title thumbnail my roommate's using my dildo demonetized we can't say dildo no shot wait in the video we can't say dildo really you cannot have dildo in your title no no no

we can say dildo I can say Ludwig is a dildo I can say Ludwig use and operate the dildo frequently too often you probably get hit

I can say Ludwig owns a Sibian a Homer Simpson themed Sibian and now you're not I'm changing my Twitter name to Homer Sibian okay

so but anyway my dildo is like, I grab it out of my drawer and I like look at it. It's got these like lesions on it. I'm like, this is fucking gross.

And they're kind of all over it. It does look like a skin disease and I throw it away. Later on, I look up why this happens and apparently there's antimicrobial like surface things on dildos. And when that interacts too much with like dirt or dust, you don't clean it,

it will break down and change color. So I wanted you all to know that if that's happening to your dildo at home, that's what's going on. What do I do if that's happening to my real dick? Right now. It's totally fine if it's a dildo. If it's your real dick,

it's over. I have nothing for you. Modern medicine hasn't gotten there yet. If. If it's your real dick, it's over. I have nothing for you. It's over. Modern medicine hasn't gotten there yet. If that's happening to your real dick, you go to the doctor, you get a shot in your ass, and you're good a week later. Eat your horse pill, and modern medicine wins again.

If modern medicine wasn't around, Aemon would be dead, you'd be dead, I'd have gonorrhea still, and I'd be miserable. Would you be dead? No, I think You'd be dead. Yeah. I'd have gonorrhea still. Yeah. And I'd be miserable. Would you be dead? You'd have no tooth. No, I think I'd be fine because you would be a toothless weirdo.

You'd be a toothless idiot hillbilly that no one likes. We're counting that as modern medicine. That's modern. Yeah, I'd be fucked. No, gold teeth are old though, right? I'd be dead at my own hand. Oh, you'd have a wood tooth.

I'd be dead at my own hand. If I had bad teeth, it's over. Dude, so when I was, this is kind of related, when I was, this is like kind of related, when I was 16 or 17-ish, I was taking Accutane because I had pretty bad acne. And,

but it, fuck it, that shit works, by the way. You're a teenager trying to get rid of your acne, Accutane fucking works if you're down to like

hate your life. Not medical advice. Not medical advice, but it works for me. Allegedly. Or financial advice. Allegedly. I haven't called Accutane anymore.

No, no, that's not alleged. So I allegedly took this pill in Ibiza, and I got a staph infection in my face from taking Accutane. Like, part of Accutane... Or you just told him to take it. Well... One guy just popped the pill right out of my mouth.

Trade-off. Trade-off, you know? That's actually crazy, yeah. What are you doing? It was worth it. Accutane has some pretty wild side effects. Yeah, I had a friend who was taking it at the same time

and he got these insane cysts that were quarter-sized all over his face. He didn't leave his house for the whole summer. He only has one eyeball, but he has no acne now. Yeah, but now I have great skin.

It was totally worth it. I would do it again. I would go back and do it again. Dude, remember Noir? What happened to him? Wait, what happened to Noir? Dude, our friend Noir, who is sick at Melee, by the way, he vaped. And he had bought, like, bootleg vape juice.

Did you hear about this? I don't remember this. Dude, he bought bootleg vape juice. Did he get the popcorn lung? Like, cheap shit. No, he didn't get popcorn lung. He was vaping so much, he got this, like, giant oh i do remember this yeah and he had to get it surgically removed and now he has a scar and he's fine oh you said the file like you were like okay yeah but it was crazy because you're like he went through that and it's like

you know don't do uh yeah so i get a staph infection in my face it's not great this is like right before i'm going into like my next year of high school. I have to do my yearbook photos soon. I sent Zipper a photo of this. He can bring it up. Yeah. So that's what I looked like. Dude, you look 14.

You look like shit. How old are you? I think I'm 16. You look like you're balding. I think I'm 16. In this picture. I look great. Besides, you know, my face.

So it was bad. Don't say you look great. I look great. I was rocking the So it was bad. Don't say you look great. I look great. I was rocking the Weezer glasses. I was wearing the Drinking Aquafina back then? I still have that shirt

actually. Didn't love the planet, huh? And so it gets really big. He sat on that too. It hurts. Come on, man.

I wasn't inserting things in my ass yet. That was later. And it hurts really bad. I have to go get it surgically drained it was probably the worst experience i of my people ask what's the worst experience of your life it was probably that because the numbing solution doesn't work they had to put a needle inside of it numb me it doesn't work on infected areas so i basically felt the entire surgery um

it was one of the i went i went into shock and then i had a panic attack and like i struggled like 104 fever instantly. Isn't it crazy that shock kills you? Yeah. You get so shocked, you die. That's movie stuff. One of the most scared I've ever been. It was awful.

Yeah. So what happened when I got that infection was I was just literally hanging out one day, and then my lip just started getting bigger, like instantly. And I was like, what's happening to my face? And it was like a movie. Like in a movie when you start changing or something. You were Veruca Salt. Yes, I was Veruca Salt.

I was turning big and blue and inflated like a planet. Like Sonic is a planet. Rolling you to the ER, roasting the shit out of you. You were becoming Mr. Hyde. So that all happened. Long story short, that happens. I get surgery. I have permanent scar tissue in my lip now.

This part of my lip is permanently very hard and shitty it's shitty cringe uh no problem didn't notice it while girls want to kiss you well demonstrably false uh so seven seven eight years later however long it is now uh i'm sitting in my room yesterday i'm sitting in my room i'm on my computer typing and my lip starts getting bigger again. You just hear, who the? And I'm sitting there like, no, no, no. Because I know this time what it is. The sequel.

And I didn't know it was, like, I took all the medicine I needed to take. I didn't know it was possible. So I'm sitting there freaking out.

And I run into the kitchen and my girlfriend's in there like making us dinner. And I'm like, it's happening again. I'm just having it. And she's like, oh.

She takes a knife, throws it. Yeah. It fucking squirts and you're fine. It's so sick that I was happy. And she's like, she takes a knife, throws it. Yeah. It works and you're fine. It's so sick that you guys have been dating for so long that you can say it's happening again to something that happened. No, we, we actually were not together.

Uh, sure. But I guess we didn't. It was very soon after. Yeah. Um, Oh, the guy with the disgusting,

hideous bowl. So I'm dating him now. I have to roll Nick like up and down hills to get to the urgent care. That'd be so funny. By the way, Aiden also said if I was 500 pounds that we wouldn't be friends anymore.

You know what you said? No. No, no, no. That's not what I said. He said some fucked up shit. I did not. I did not say that. Anyway,

save it for the secret pod. I start inflating like a balloon and I get driven to the ER. It's like fucking midnight. I'd roll you to the ER. I'm so... I'd roll you to the ER. Anyway, I start inflating like a balloon, and I get driven to the ER. It's like fucking midnight. I'd roll you to the ER. Anyway, you know Aiden left me at the ER last time, and he went home? No fucking way. What?

You told me I could go. Dude, you always wait for the boys. He's right. You know what? I told him he could go, but he did. You always wait for the boys. I waited 90 minutes. I waited three hours for Nipur.

Yeah. always wait for the I waited 90 minutes I waited 3 hours for Nipur yeah I go to the hospital and the hospitals are they are miserable right now so I went to a hospital that was at max capacity every single bed

was completely filled COVID cases are higher than ever and they're still taking people and I go in and they're like what's wrong with you

and I'm like I'm trying to like give them the context but they're like they don't even want to talk to me for more than a minute so I'm like

alright so 6 years ago this guy named Ken I'm like I'm like trying to walk through the whole thing and they're like yeah don't even want to talk to me for more than a minute so i'm like all right so six years ago this guy named ken i'm like i'm trying to walk through the whole thing and like just go sit over there we'll see you in a second i wait for a very long time they finally bring me in and they don't have a place for me so they put me in a chair just in the hallway so i'm just in a hallway and this guy gets brought in who has just had three seizures he is wasted because he's an alcoholic and he is bleeding out of his nose and his eyes and that's tight they put him just right next to me it's like i'm just in the miscellaneous hallway where people go yeah and so i'm sitting there and my lips all big and i'm like

salty and this guy gets brought in and he is just he's wailing he's bleeding he's telling them that he's drunk he's explaining this is not his first time here. It doesn't sound like he uses masks either. He has a confederate flag tattooed on his arm. And his knuckles have fuck you tatted on them. And this music starts playing. What is this? Dark Souls?

And his life bar populates. Conservative homeless man. Nick and this guy beating the shit out of each other in a hospital hallway. Nick's with his giant lip and he's just like trying to dodge rolling shit. His animation's like... It actually gets more like a Dark Souls boss because this guy's here wailing. They start hooking him up to an IV in front of me. Oh, it's the cutscene.

And I'm like a little squeamish. So I'm like, okay, I'm like looking away. I'm like, this is so shitty. But I've been here for like an hour and a half and they still have not seen me yet. Yeah. And there's an open door next to me and there's someone in there. And I said this in the last podcast. I have a very, very bad – I have one bad fear.

I have about one phobia in this world and it's puking. When people are next to me puking, I have to leave. I can't be around it. And when I'm about to, I will freak out. There's someone next to me just vomiting for an hour and a half straight. It's loud and they're hiccuping. So every couple seconds, they're hiccuping.

And then there's the miscellaneous hospital folly that's just like, brrp. And it's like, beep, beep, brrp. And this guy's like, bleh. And then this guy's just wailing and I'm sitting there and I'm like, I don't care. If staff hits your brain, it fucking kills you. And I'm sitting there and i'm like i don't like staff and if staff hits your brain it fucking kills you and i'm sitting there and i'm like i'm down i'm down

to go home i don't care i've done this before i've lived i don't want to be here anymore i was there for like three fucking hours and there's this one guy he's like an npc like just like wiping the floors he's like he's like a little younger than me he's just walking by and he keeps he says something to me giving you hints to beat the guy he literally just keeps saying things to me as if they're hints he walks by he like picked up a. He's giving you hints to beat the guy. Dude, he literally just keeps saying things to me as if they're hints. Like, he walks by,

he like, picks up a penny. He's like, you want this penny? And I'm like, no. And he's like, oh,

I just found it. I'm like, I don't want it. Should have said hello to the old man. And then he keeps going. He's like 18. I was honestly,

I was like, is this guy a Ludwig fan? Like, why does he keep doing this? And then, and then he comes back and he goes, I like your Crocs.

I'm like, thanks. I'm like, I'm having the worst time of my fucking life. You need holy magic to defeat that guy. He's not fucking with me.

And all the while, my girlfriend's in the waiting room we're eating the entire time on like 8 and there's a guy in the room with her who is there and he's wearing like a full hazmat suit

like he is like because they made him wear it because he might have COVID oh my god so he's decked out in the whole thing in the waiting room and he's so mad

he's like they're making me wear this and he's telling everyone how mad he is that they're making him wear this and she's just like she's so nice she's in there and she's like, they're making me wear this. And he's telling everyone how mad he is that they're making him wear this. And she's just like, she's so nice. She's in there and she's like, oh, you know, just sitting there. And then he's just bringing out his phone.

He starts watching a video on how to make tequila at full volume in the hospital waiting room. That guy rules. And he's in like a hazmat suit. I come back and she's like whispering this to me. I can't hear it through the suit. And I can see this guy. And they make me wait because they gave me medication and they have to wait to see if I have an allergic reaction. So I'm waiting in the waiting room with her with all these fucking insane people in there.

And on the commercial on the screen pops up a sex phone ad. Like a sex call ad. And so on the TV in the hospital, it's like 1-800-GET-FUCKED. Like call and you get the first five minutes free and I'm literally like am I in a dream I have to be in a dream there's no way I'm getting a staph infection seven years later there's no way this guy's

real and I go home and it was insane all that combined was just you didn't even get checked well no they ended up basically the doctor literally was so useless he goes yeah it just doesn't make sense that his staff they don't come on that fast and i'm like this has happened to me before and i went to the doctor and i was tested and it was staff this happened in the exact same location yeah uh i'm like it's that it's the same thing and he goes

doesn't really make sense though and i'm like i don't know what to tell you his arms like i don't know what to tell you i don't want to be here but you're wrong and i i don't have the credentials well uh it's gay time now yeah i don't have a gay chair i don't have the credentials to tell you that you're wrong but it's just there's too many coincidences and he only says he goes he goes yeah like that doesn't line up but if you're telling me that that that you went through that then i'm gonna give you a prescription for staff and i'm like i don't want you to say that yeah i want i want you to say answer you i want you to say you know what i checked with the boys we crunched some of the numbers and it turns out you have this thing and here's the correct medicine for it he's actually gaslighting you

because that blows and i i would be so infuriated in that situation but i still feel sorry for him because of the covid like bullshit and that was why i was so like compliant the whole time i'm like i can see how i'm the last of their priority guy with a big lip is here yeah i can see how i'm the last their priority when i got my appendix removed i was also in the hallway except in maine and i was just there and then there i was like walking like I was rolled through and I just saw a bunch of people in the fucking wings also there. You were there at an awful

time too. I was there for six hours waiting. Okay, no, this isn't a new thing. This is how hospitals work. If you're not like, that's why the hack, they say it's like a life hack, but for your actual life is you say you have chest pain, they have to pay attention to you. You could die right there. There was a guy doing that. Yeah.

That's what I brought him in. I was walking through and I was like, you look like you are from the TV show Shameless because he was like, all right, chest pain, give me something good. Oh my God. And he's just like,

any nurse or doctor pulled through, he would just fucking yell at them. That's like my dad. You just described my dad. Yeah. Dude. If he was in a hospital. Aiden took me to,

we briefly talked about it, Aiden took me to the hospital because I had chest pain at like midnight and it wasn't going away. And you know what my bill was for that night? Before insurance was $6,500. What?

Isn't that the American health care system? I have good insurance. Post insurance was like $300, but still. It was insane that it was $6,500. I spent a night in the hospital. I didn't even stay there. I left to save money. Yeah.

My plan, it was way back in my old job. I had the same thing. I woke up, chest pain. It was extreme, turned out. Heartburn. Happened. Oh, yeah. I thought I was dying, though.

And I drive myself to the hospital. They admit me. They want to keep me. And they do. On my insurance, I paid $1,000, but I got the bill way later and it was $20,000 for a night. So fucked. And I take Zoloft.

If the Yardigans didn't know that, it might work for you, might not. Don't promote Zoloft Take Zoloft and Accutane at the same time. Together, actually.

Financial advice. It's not medical advice, but it is financial advice. Just do it. Financial advice. I've been taking it for like 10 years, so it's very,

it's me. I drink a little booze while 10 years, so it's very, it's me. I drink a little booze while I take them. That's how they make Faygo. They just combine those two. I would take it a long time. And I was at the doctor, and I was like, okay, well, I can't go home, and I take this medication. I need it, right? And I need a dose every night.

And they're like, okay, we'll get you that. It was billed for one pill at $83. Oh, my God. Fucked up. Somewhere Martin Shkreli just came. Car insurance is dope because you can scam the car insurance people, allegedly.

If you go to like a... Are we like the anarchist cookbook podcast? What are we doing right now? These are the strong arms. This is good advice if you have... Not advice of any kind. No, no, no. It's not advice. It's not advice. Don't do this.

Anecdote, anecdote. Hi, I am Mr. Alleged, and I'm here to treat you. If you get in a car wreck, you can go to like a small repair shop, like a more local one. You know, not Pep Boys. We can go to a local repair shop, and then whatever your deductible is, they will add that to the total bill. And so then they'll get more money from the actual people. I worked in an auto environment.

It's very scam, scam heavy. Yeah. And if you or a loved one have mesothelioma, you get a free Nissan Altima. Yeah. It's part of the cheat code. If you go in and have both those things. Ludwig is actually sweet James. Sweet James.

The worst part about, not the worst part. Something that happened. I don't know if you saw this while you're at the hospital, Slime just aimlessly messages the group chat, how are you? And then I replied like a dill hole. I was just like, I'm doing good, smiley face. He didn't know Nick went to the hospital. I had no clue you were in the hospital. And then I go over and then there's a deeper message that was from your girlfriend that was like, he's not doing so great right now.

We don't have any information. I was like, wait, what's going on? I can't believe you scrolled up. That's actually huge. I heard you deleted it and I was like, that's so funny. The fact that you scrolled up is insane. I was losing my mind.

It was after I'd sent it. That's what I'm saying. You scrolled up in general. Yeah. You never do that. Unannounced sponsorship project that we have going on right now. There's this

insane thing that happened in the last week where nick posts the draft of what's been worked on for this for the sponsorship yeah this video and you come into the chat a day later you at here say where's it at we need this like we need to send it to them. And then you go into another channel at here and do the same thing. And if you had scrolled up one message, you would have seen the full, complete product. You just had to

read your screen. Don't Jim Halpern us. Don't Jim Halpern us. I like this. It's not even a situation where you have to scroll. You literally just have to look at Jim Halpern. This is what you guys get. Don't Jim Halpern us. Now you get it. Now you get it. Eat my shit. Fuck you. It's not even a situation where you have to scroll. You literally just have to look at the phone.

It means there's a whole like, the top half of your phone you aren't even looking at. This is not a bit. This is not a drill. It's not even a top half. It's not even a top half because there's been no other messages. Yeah, but it hits the keyboard. It's the text right above the messages. Dude, it blew my mind.

You are fucking miserable. It's miserable. Please be better. Even for you, that one was pretty bad. Please. Just try like a little bit. Please. Please, Roderick.

I don't need to be better. Okay. You what? Yeah, you know what? You're right. I am getting it done, all right? Look, I'm struggling out here. What? I'm trying my best.

It's day in, day out. I don't have a day off. Some more idioms. Hey, freedom and weep, all right? I'm cutting the mustard, fellas. I'm trying to shoot the breeze. One in row. Yeah, it's not a bit.

It just makes our lives a lot more difficult and frustrating. And if you could put a little effort, it'd be great. We still love you, but you know that. That's the problem. You're taking advantage of our love for you, and you're doing a little dance. No, it's not love. You think Mr. Beast's core group has this problem? No, because he's probably paying the guy who has to deal with that way more money.

His slime? His slime. Does he have a slime? He has a couple slimes. He has a team of slimes. But does he have a slime? I don't think he has a slime. Different breed, built different.

He's like one human. He has a team that's a slime. I'm very neurotic. If he has a neurotic guy that can work. You know Fairly Oddparents, like the Poindexters who calculate everything? He has that. And then I have like... I have me who's trying my best. Gordon Von Strangle.

I have to build shelves and pay Rad's dad. What's her name? Timmy Burner. Timmy Burner. Very nice. Yeah. Free name out there.

Timmy Burner. Go ahead. It's Timmy Turner and he's smoking weed and he's with what's her name? Trixie. Trixie.

And there yeah. He's seen that picture. The teenager one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is that there's like that infamous one where he

they're like on the bed he's that's the one that's the one yeah we're talking about that one yeah yeah I put out a the smoke that shit tweet someone I think it was Mitch he was like smoking that shit that made my parents fairly odd dude your tweets I forgot I think one of them was like couldn't appreciate it but your tweet fucking smoking on that shit that made Ben 10 made me laugh out loud. I laughed out loud at that. That is so funny. I didn't get it. Yeah, fuck you.

Yeah, it's all right. That's it. It's like a me and Nick thing. By the way, check out the Patreon. We got a bonus episode coming. We're going to hash out why Aiden ditched Nick at the hospital. Yeah, more at 11. Why Aiden ditched Nick at the hospital yeah more more more at 11 why Aiden is the

most shit friend also did me and Aiden fuck right now on the Patreon there is a a patron goal to have the yard pick my tattoo and it's encroaching right after we posted

the screenshot they get to pick the So they get to pick the tattoo? They get to pick the tattoo that goes on me. How do you think that works? Because the yard is not a key. We'll figure out how it works. I have done tattoos through multiple people choosing. Maybe a bracket. It's not very coherent.

Ooh, a bracket? A bracket would be good. Yeah, we'll figure out a good way. Or everyone submits an option and it's any option and then you put it all on marbles. Marbles is fucked. It's crazy. As long as all the options aren marbles. Marbles is fucked. It's crazy. As long as all the options aren't insane.

We have to vet the options. But when we posted that tweet that showed like, oh shit, we got like 200 patrons. And I was like, I thought this would take like a year. And now I'm scared. I'll get it too with you.

I don't care. Let's go. We should get a matching tattoo in Napoli. Dude, 100%. Is it illegal there? Like in Nippondeska go. We should get a matching tattoo in Napoli. Dude, 100%. Is it illegal there? Like in Nippondesca? It's not illegal in Nippondesca. I want to get a big tattoo in Italy.

This is an artist I've been waiting to go to. Just a big meatball. Wait, what? This is an artist in Italy. You're waiting for an Italian artist? Yeah, there's an artist in Italy I've always wanted to go to. Okay. And I wanted to fucking let him.

They do like good meatballs? Do the shit. Yeah, they only do meatballs. You should have said Mario. Yeah. God damn. Can you cut his joke and then I'll do it? Sl They do the shit. They only do meatballs. You should have said Mario. Yeah. God damn. Can you cut his joke and then I'll do it? Slice it back up.

You dub my meatball on his. It's the Ludwig the Cutie. I just take her joke, but say it with a slightly larger audience. Easy. Easy. That's a money farm if I ever see one. Well, is that it? Were you trying to wrap us up?

Well, actually, one more thing. Did you see us posting on Twitter about the YouTube leaving thing? Listen. It was top of LSF. I know. I made a drama alert. No, I cut that myself. Did you?

I said, this is going to be hot. I cut it, and then I posted it, and I tagged Denny's as a meme. Yeah. And then there's an article written about that. Really? Yeah, an article got written. What? Yeah.

Wait, let me see the article. It's like game rant. About Denny's as well? Yeah, Zipper, look up game rant Ludwig. It's got a big embedded video. There's probably a Dexter article too, I imagine. Also, by the way, this thumbnail might be my finest work. The thumbnail that's used.

Oh, you did this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do all of them. I do all of them. Game rant Ludwig. And so it's funny because there's a big embedded file of the thumbnail and it's just me and it's the Botez sisters and

it looks so funny yeah they're just like a Dexerto okay yeah yeah and it's like written really like sloppily it's just like drama but it's stretched out to an article hate these are the these are the reasons why the beautiful art of journalism is so hated. Yeah. Well, it's not their fault.

I mean, this guy might suck or not. I don't know. But the journalist model just doesn't pay money, right? And so you have to get clicks where you can. Because it's kind of fucked. That's why everything pivoted to video. Useless degree. What's up?

Useless degree. Well, it's useful. The job just doesn't pay. He got everything out of his degree during the election. It's useful for wiping your mouth after eating food. The degree? Yeah. Well, that's what I use my English one for. One time. Only once

though. You can use the journalism one for your ass. Or we could paper cut our lips like jackass with the degree. I thought you were thinking like the Joker. Well, yeah, kind of. Do you want to know why I got these scars? My two degrees. Oh, yeah.

I just thought it was crazy that it was top of LSF because there was no information from it. Yeah. Although, as you're saying, people don't know the podcast was recorded before Tim was announced. Yeah. That's why I knew it was hot. That's why I posted it. Yeah.

Because I have my favorite in the polls. I think the post, Tim had already moved over. I don't know. Honestly, this is not a lie. I have no idea who's going I knew it was hot. That's why I posted it. Yeah. Because I have my favorite in the polls. I think the post, Tim, had already moved over. I don't know. Honestly, this is not a lie. I have no idea who's going to move over. All right. For this week, I need more from you, Ludwig. More hot, hot secret gossip now.

Give me secret gossip now. We're going to save it for the premium. Yeah, we saved it for the premium. No, no, no. Because we have to clip it. A lot of people have been asking what I'm going to do. Because my contract ends in a month so that was in the other clip and i was like that part was weird no that was why it was

funny no i was because i don't think it was no because these fucking drama people that have to like make their living info they have to make their living through all this they have to use that clip of me being a fucking weirdo he's i'm i'm fully on your side i'm sabotaging their system by being an idiot so you're being like jungle audio like the the the audio jungle yeah yeah truly exclusive i'm an audio water i. Damn, son. Where'd you buy this? Just keep chatting with the yard Patreon. LA leakers. You are now in tune. Yeah. And we'll see.

We'll see. Dude, we should have a tag. We should have one. All right. Well, so yeah. I got no info. I can't leak. Well, you know, I'm not going to swing one way or the other.

I got to leave all fields open. I got info. I got info. And the end of it's going to be in the premium episode. Did you guys know that?