The Yard - Ep. 101 - Ludwig Is A Hater Now.

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

This week, the boys talk about the wine about it collab, slime's new idea called Dang Bros, and who is the most famous person ever...

Oh, hold on. What? I don't know, he's doing a thing. What? Oh. Dude. Hold on, Aiden. So you... No, Aiden, hold on, Aiden. No, Aiden, hold on.

That fits you great. Yeah? What's up? That's your Aiden? What's up? Get us in as Aiden. I'm not being Aiden. I just want you guys to know, I want you

to know, sorry, you, over there, hey, hey Buttercup. I want you to know as this is how we see you. You look like somebody in Moneyball. Do you think I look cool? You do look kind of cool. Anthony grows hair and he becomes Tony Star.

Tony Star. I look like I produce porn. Yeah. That's cool. I don't think that's cool. I think you look cool. Yeah. Ethically.

You look like you create ethical porn. What I'm saying is this is how we see you. Look, I know that this whole thing is kind of turning on you now, but we think that this is a better look for you. Yeah. We want you to stay this way. I'm not doing it.

You know why? You know why you guys want me to stay this way? Because it looks terrible and you don't have to be me. It doesn't look bad. It doesn't look terrible. It's a great jacket. Love that jacket. I'm talking about my hair.

The hair doesn't look bad. You are insane. I think if it gets longer, it's going to start looking worse. But like when it's slightly growing in a little bit, I don't mind it. You know what's funny? It's only cool if I'm Hunter S. Thompson, but you don't know who that is. My name is Bruno. I'm a fucking journalist, you dipshit.

The name's Bruno. I'm the cultivator, you dipshit. The name's Bruno. I'm the cultivator of fame. You came in today. I saw your hair. I was like, wow, it's grown out a lot. And I was like, oh, it looks good. You know what he did to me? You guys are smoking crack.

You know what? You've been insecure since you grew up here and a doucher. Yeah. I've always been a doucher. No, no, no, no. But you've been a doucher about physical appearances more than ever. No. I walked in today and you did this.

You did this. You know what I think? You think I had to do with your body broad yeah cuz I walked in you went he got a haircut that's what you said yeah because it looks good yeah but why do you say it like that I would say that no no you'd be like you're insane right now you have become an asshole since you've grown up here. I've been an asshole and the same asshole. It's getting worse. I don't think that's true.

I think it's like reverse Samson. You've said that on the last episode. You don't remember jokes on the podcast ever. I think it's more wise than a joke. But you've said it before already. For those who don't know, Samson's from the Bible. Man, I don't know. He could just be like, you know,'s like he he decided to shave it off

he went bald and we were all like oh he's bald now but now he's growing his hair out we're telling he looks good maybe he's kind of pissed you know i'm not don't try to break me down we're theory crafting you can you relax for a second that's not a bad theory he's like i spent all this time being bald oh maybe i could have kept my hair i think it it looks bad. Me, I do. Yeah, but we think it looks good. I think what happens too is when people go bald, it's kind of like people uplift people who are bald, much like women uplift other women, right? Like even if they don't look good.

There's no solidarity. I think women are actually further back in line than bald people in needing. Yes. And I think for bald people It's like you look amazing You and you do look amazing. That's insane. You look great. You're saying right outright that you're patronizing me. No what if you Patronizing you if you were Paul, yeah, you're not right everyone shut up people are the middle If you look so good shave the top of your head, pussies.

No, no, no. That's not how that works. If you think it looks so good, then do it. Oh, no, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's talking crazy now. We don't want to do that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

That'd be insane. To voluntarily do that, that'd be insane. Can I? Can I be insane to voluntarily do it? It'd be insane to do it for yourself, right? You wouldn't want to do that. Can I cut in? It looks good for you.

Is what you think that what we think is we think everyone looks good bald in the world? Is that what you think? So you're saying I'm so unique that this is for me? Yes. Wow. Yeah. That's so interesting. And French people.

But if this happened to you, it would also look good because you couldn't control it, right? Horrifying. It'd be horrifying. I have a birth scar back here, actually. Can you see it? It should be like slightly red. Oh, yeah. I can see it. It be like you're very red. Oh, yeah

I can't it looks like a constellation. Oh, it's hard to see yeah Yeah, so if I go bald it's just a big red splotch. It's not that bad I mean yours cuz they've shaved the doctor pull me out from that spot with just his nails uncut nails Yeah, he hooked you like a fish Yeah, he actually used to hook and you were flop flopping around and your mom was like, oh, it's a pesca. I like the hair. I like it. I'm not stupid.

Let's get back to the show. Episode 102. This is the show. 101? 101? 101. Why the fuck would you correct me when you're wrong? 102.

Why would it be? He didn't get the memo. He didn't get the memo? He actually just didn't remember the memo. I got the memo. It're wrong. 102. Why would it be? He didn't get the memo. He didn't get the memo? He actually just didn't remember the memo. I got the memo. It's 101. And let's focus on... 102.7, kiss.

Let's focus on... Child, SoCal. On what you're wearing. Because I thought this was very funny. If you lick this, he's not kissed on. You want to do that? I've already... I've kissed him at some point No I haven't

I've never kissed him Yeah that's fucking right So anyway What are you wearing? I'm wearing a Balenciaga Shirt What is this shit? It looks like a

Blick art materials It's just a little You like Blick art? That's the thick paint right? I had this jacket That's what I do with a gun Eamon posted this jacket On his Twitter He was like Yo Is anyone can know Eamon posted this jacket on his Twitter.

He was like, yo, anyone can know where I can find this jacket? I lost it, and I want to buy it again, and I really like it a lot. And he posted it. You're saying it like he's an asshole, but he just lost the jacket. And he's an asshole. And I've looked for it for a long time. And he's tweeting with a douchey undertone, like, I'll pay you $20. And he thinks he's better than me in the tweet.

I can feel it. He thinks he's better than me. 100%. i can feel it yeah he's better than me you're like dude somebody go through like an hour of searching for and not be compensated for retweeting him on a on a private plane and it's like yeah we get that which was insane we get it it's like we get it you fly and you fly like t swift does maybe wishful thinking but i'm gonna say this actually in the most bad faith way I can ever say. He's reading it in sweet. Maybe wishful thinking,

but I lost a jacket I'm wearing this photo ages ago and I've been trying to find it somewhere to buy it again. If anyone find it, would super appreciate it.

That was actually like, it came off really nice even. Yeah. Even the way you read it didn't sound that bad because of how I wrote it. The only thing bad faith is that I can tell he's trying to be mean.

Yeah, but it didn't even come off like that mean. No, to your average person, it sounds normal. Well, you're on a private plane. Poinker looks like me. And Poinker looks like you and Nick. And then Eamon is there. That was a fun ride. I was on that plane, too.

It was. It was a funny part. What's fun about this is that that jacket that you're so desperately looking for, Slime replied to this tweet with a knife holding the jacket at gunpoint because he had it. Yeah, I said, go up. Aiden, I have it. I have it. This is in my closet.

Shit for brains. He adored that, right? Now, why did you call him shit for brains? Yeah, why? I was like, shit for brains? Why would I know that you have it? I think it's funny just because it's been in my closet, my jacket closet, for like a year.

That's how long it's been lost, to be clear. It's been lost for over a year. I was like, why doesn't Aiden want this back? I do! I do! I didn't know you had it. When did you get it? I don't know.

Wait, you don't remember getting it, but you expect him to remember giving it to you? This is the only way I can think of. It's his fucking jacket. This is the only way I can think of. It's his jacket. It's on my jacket. For some reason, because the last time I wore this jacket or had this jacket in my possession that I could remember was on that trip.

It was when me and Slime went to Streamer Royale, Amaranth Streamer Royale. That's why we went on the plane because Amaranth like- Did you get cold? We ate gator meat. You get cold? You were like, Aiden, give me a fucking jacket. Dude, I don't know how I have it. What happened? It's his jacket. It's not mine. Did you like the gator meat? You know what? Yeah, the gator meat you get cold you were like aiden give me a fucking jacket dude i don't know how i have it his jacket it's not mine did you like the gator you know what yeah the gator meat was really good it was really gay it was fine we actually didn't get it but i think the reason i

have it is because he uh he actually someone gave it to me i'm trying to remember it was maybe point crow he's like oh this is a jacket i think he's like okay i'll grab it and i believe that put it in my house i believe aiden lost it it. Because that's what I thought. I was like, I probably just lost this jacket on this trip because on, admittedly, on this same trip, if you remember,

I lost my shoes. That's right. He was like me. What were you doing? One time at BTS, I just left without my shoes on and went home. I had other shoes.

It was funny. I had other shoes. But he was like me. He lost his shoes. It was crazy. The realization I had recently, I bought noise-canceling headphones for the first time, and I put them on, and they're crazy.

They work. They're noise-canceling. And then I was like, this is how all headphones are for Aiden. Yeah. Like, you are not in the market for noise-canceling headphones, because they wouldn't do anything differently than what normal headphones do for you. You just don't acknowledge or hear the things. Or looking at Slack. Yeah, that's also's also noise canceling headphones for his brain right

yeah it does impressive yeah i wish i was like him now because these things were expensive but they're useful do you have to give the jacket back i don't have to do anything because you've owned it for a year like what is he can't marriage you know what's insane is because after about an hour of the post speed up and people looking for the jacket, only being able to find like the name of the product or like the Insta post that it was announced in, nobody can find it listed anywhere on like Depop or I looked through like Grailed. I can't find anything. And then I, as a last minute thing, before I go to bed and before you've replied, I hit

up the brand on Instagram. And I was just like, any chance you guys still have these in stock somewhere? I'd love to buy it. Pleading face emoji. And the brand hit me back the next morning. But it was after I opened Twitter. I have a fucking billion notifications from all the people liking Slime's tweets. And you had the jacket for a year.

That is insane When we moved I was like oh my god, I fucking I lost the jacket That's one of my favorite things. I love the way that jacket looks. I love the way I found it and I bought it I can't fucking it's been in your closet the whole time I can't prefer it on him I can't prefer it on him And he's had it for a year. I think it could be his now. I'm Tony Star.

What's up? And I make ethical porn. He makes ethical porn. I make ethical porn with organic vegetables. GMO free porn. GMO free porn where everyone gets paid the same. I'm designing the porn spread for the Apple Vision Pro. When you guys see my Apple Vision porn,

you're going to be inside the pussy. No, it's different because you can watch porn from the rainforest. Rainforest porn where you're in the pussy. Welcome to Apple. Nice to meet you. I'm Tony Stark. From the Eiffel Tower.

The real one. An Eiffel Tower she's real one. An Eiffel Tower she's never been seen in before. Well, okay. What would you do to get this back? You got me all to yourself. What would you do

to get this back? Break into your house. Break into your house and steal it. That's what I would do because I know you leave your doors unlocked. Yo, we should try to devise

a plan for him to break into your house and steal. He has to steal from your house without you knowing. You have to heist it back. You have to heist it. And if you get caught, then you have to go, and then he goes, Aiden, and then you have to leave and go.

I get my fucking Ocean's 8. We break in. It's a whole operation. You and a bunch of women. Me and seven women do Ocean's 8. Seven women come over, and they're like, we want to be your floor wife. And Slime has to pick. And while that's happening, Aiden goes around back.

Well, that's like Final Fantasy 7 I don't think it is. Yeah, don't know. Yeah, what? Cloud Tifa and Eris all lined up. He just rotates. He just rotates The Triforce of history is those three video games. Actually, kind of. It's like seeing any TV show and being like, this is kind of like Friends. You know? No.

Because Phoebe and Joey actually had an episode where they kissed. And there's more than four characters and they're friends? No, you guys don't get it. For all those out there who enjoy that who knows that we're the same I think you like being old like I think you like because like before the pod started I have pride in my identity He was like skip it happening to that bootle boot and we're like and he's like none of you get that none of you get I can do it to them. He's like making violin noises. He's like, none of you know this.

This is real art. So annoying. And it all seems to be like, could Charlotte kill yourself? And it's like, wow. I remember lining up for tickets to see the godfather's Appreciated that you'll be like that's a movie right there What was this

Coin in Metal Gear 4 They don't do that. It's actually Dark Souls. Oh, sorry. They don't do that. There's coins in Dark Souls. That's what I'm talking about. When I talk, I'm right. I'm right.

When I talk, I'm right. That's what you're interested in being these days. Oh my god. It's just right online. No, it's not. What is happening? What's wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with me.

You know what he said before this? Another hallmark of him being correct in the world is that you and Mr. Beast are haters now. Yeah. Okay, explain. Because you're replying to people on Twitter about them being wrong and also Mr. Beast being upset that people are biting his shit and also harassing him relentlessly. He has been hooting. Where he lives. That means that he's correct all along.

All right, go ahead. What's your thesis? Explain in your own words. Well, he just said it pretty much exactly how I would. relentlessly he has been hooting where he lives that means that uh he's correct all along all right go ahead what's your thesis explain in your own words well he just said it uh pretty much exactly how i would and i'd like to add that ever because we're all theory crafting before you got here why is ludwig replying so much on twitter about this twitch in like kick shit and i was like oh it's probably because he knows that they're wrong like he knows without a doubt like this is objective information and he can't stand that it's being said incorrectly and you're just compelled to like be like no you're wrong right which is what i feel all the time but you're taking this like seriously i guess and that's our theory and what i'm saying is like you're just slowly becoming it like you're

your elasticity for shit in which to reply like this will, will only get bigger and you will do this more often with less consequential things. And you'll become engorged. And you'll become a hater engorged with your big old penis. No, it's different. Your big nasty glands.

Ludwig's nasty gland special. Yeah. On Apple VR Pro. Subathon. I have a small appetite for, for hating and yours is gluttonous. Voracious is a better word.

No, it's gluttonous. You know what it is? It's like when you're eating dinner and you always got room for dessert. That's you for hating. It doesn't matter how much you've eaten. You've always got room for dessert. I'll see a menu. You guys arguing about words is the same thing as us arguing

about geography, I realized. You just tune out. Yeah. No, it happens. I don't tune out. It just happens. It just happens like every other episode. We're two English majors. We'll argue about Kosovo next week. Yeah, that's all you know. I like geography. You're kept. I feel vivacious. Anyway, he's vivacious

with big hot lips. For your glands. And for your glands, which is engorged in red okay like okay it's red like a bear so i i only am applying to things that i feel like i am truly one like an expert on which is very few things in this world that's what i i'm so right yes the only thing that i feel like i have a a better grasp on than like 99.99% of people is like streaming. That's like it. I've dedicated six years of my life to it. I don't chime in on anything else.

Even things that I know more than 99% of people, like, like a melee conversation. And I see someone, I think is saying something wrong about melee. I'm not going to chime in and be like, no, Zane's better. Whatever. Like, I don't know enough. That in a Koopa's seaside soiree. Soiree Soiree Those are the two things you know

If someone was chirping And they were like Hey Kupa's Seaside Soiree is a bad map Or they were like Mario Party 4 is a bad game Because it has bad minigames I would chime in Yeah you say

I'm a surgeon And then you bring the whiteboard out And you explain why The thing is If you actually say What direction Uki should Send you into the Memory card port

Has influence Is that the one with the sad wish And the happy wish? Yeah Mario Party 4? No that map is if you actually say what direction Uki should send you into the memory card port, it has influence Is that the one with the sad wish and the happy wish? Yeah. Mario Kart 4? No, that map. No, no. That's shy. That's a shy guy. This is also Twitter's fault. Because I'm forced to see it. I'm forced to fuck. You're just going through the shit I have done already

and you're making all the excuses a hater makes. It's not an excuse. I'm telling you why my behavior has changed. It's not like I'm becoming a hater who's getting more engorged. I'm just scrolling through Twitter and I get fed everything Twitch related. You don't follow these people, right? No, no, no.

But the algorithm knows that if it's streaming related, I will look at it and click on it and read it. And so I get every streaming thing. And so I always get fucking Willy on my damn timeline chirping about streaming. Who is that guy? I don't know.

But I frankly, I don't think Willie knows enough about streaming for all the times that he chirps. I did do this. He tweeted something else. And then I said, good point, Willie. I agree with you. Yeah, this is something I would never do. This is how I know you're not a seasoned hater.

No, I'm not a hater. Because like you, you don't track down the guy you were fighting with to keep talking to him. No, I don't care. Like like but you did that huh you did that no that popped in my for you again no but it doesn't matter if it pops in before you if you keep replying to him and like a separate isolated thing it means you're being you've kind of lost because you're you're you're outwardly saying about that that like you're paying rent right i don't care i know you don't care no no i think it's the opposite i think not the opposite sorry i think that what he's doing is there's a meta there's

there's him talking to the person and then there's like a meta of it of like what that conversation is doing online and by engaging with that guy again he's like participating in that second thing happening yeah and i think that that is fun for him because he's like oh it actually be really funny if after that i agree with him yeah i think the theater kid it and I think that that is fun for him because he's like oh it would actually be really funny if after that I agree with him yeah I think the theater kid in him actually makes a lot more sense

but for like a seasonal like generational talent like myself like you can't you can't let them have that you're like the Bill Russell

hating me worldwide phenomenon you're hating against janitors I'm out here against blue check marks alright they're physical haters

they're physical haters but all the awards will be named after us yeah I was gonna tell you they're so cheap though my jersey's way cheap you can see it

look it's my jersey it's a bottle of horse ear cut he'll always have the most champion shoes when he goes we're gonna un-retire that number ah

I'm generational so so that's it. That's why I replied to this right. But I was right. It's only because he feels like he knows the right answer. Once again. This rules.

Because I feel the same way you feel about this, about like being funny or something, right? I see it as objective and like, ah, and so I'll get mad the same way. You see being a hater as objective? No, I'm saying like he's engaging in this kind of discourse because he believes that he's completely right because he has a better perspective. I have the same idea in my head,

even if it's flawed or wrong, but that's where that comes from. I think Kik should let you stream full-length movies on their platform. And I actually mean that. You're like the Norman Rothwell standing up guy. That's a terrible idea. No, because it's freedom of information

Yeah, if a movie made a certain amount at the box office if a movie public domain if a movie made more than 900 million dollars at the box office, then you should be able to stream it on kick no fee It should be the to stream it on kick and LP. This is such a dumb argument. I agree. It should be the opposite, if anything. No, no, no. If it made like no money at the box office. No, because it's not like, Christopher Nolan, you think he's struggling right now? Well, no, it's not about who's struggling.

You know what's struggling is hairline. It's like a trickle down system. It's like it gets too much and then all the people get the information for free. You're saying it's made so much that it's like stop making any. Yes. I'm saying like if it made zero,

it's like, hey, show people this movie if it made zero It's like hey show people this movie Because nobody saw it Like when Mallrats Yeah but they deserve to be paid What's Mallrats I've never heard of this film Now I'm shamed into saying stuff that just didn't happen It's like Final Fantasy 7 Is it like Kevin

Like James Mallrats Like is it When Mallrats came out it only it made like $600,000 in one night what did he say was that Jenny Wood

did you say Kevin James yeah yeah it's a different guy it's a different guy named Kevin it doesn't matter you don't care

cause he said did you mean Mall Cop that was the only perfect thing happening with what you're doing yeah so it's like that I get what you're saying.

I like Mall Cop. Oh, my God. I hated that movie. They filmed that movie. It's not my fault you just grew up watching it. Oh, I'll say, wait. Paul Boart had one. Paul Boart had one.

What? Say it again. Paul Boart. Paul Boart. Oh, God. I could not understand what you're saying. Dead. You know, Reggie Bush, after running 1,000 yards for the Miami Dolphins, got everyone

in the line, all of his defensive linemen, or offensive linemen, a segue. Wait, he did that before Nintendo? That's crazy. What? What? For a moment, I did believe in what I said. Yeah.

But then I realized, and I just kind of went with it. I genuinely thought it was the same guy for a second. No. Wow. I don't know who Reggie Bush is. He's like the goat college. Boomer, pussy, boomer. You're on edge today.

He's the goat college football player. I got my back put up against the wall too early. Yo, pause. I'm good. I think this makes for good TV. But I didn't say anything slightly, and it's like, yo, pause. Ayo. Yo pause Anything slightly and it's like yo pause Like battle rap yeah, it's battle rap. Yeah, hold on slow it down I just did something cool after what in battle rap don't they say something cool? No, usually they say pause if the rhyme you made is slightly gay sounding.

Oh, okay. So that's where that comes from. It would be like, I was going deep with my homies, and they're like, pause. Like, pause what you're saying. Let's examine that. And then they have a council? Was that gay? Because battle rap is very homophobic.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was gay shit. Oh, you're going to have to go. Flag on the play It's like you can say like the hardest verse ever, but if you hit with pause It's like oh everyone's laughing at you now. It just completely flips it Wow pretty funny. It's too free Yeah, and then it leaked into like red pill culture. It's like now it's like now you can say it ironically

Which is that's what it feels like full circle That is shows like you know what I learned today? Aiden is the key. Key to what? He's the key. Fucking what? Aiden's the key. Key to what?

You remember a few episodes? Kind of, yeah. As I expand here. You know, a few episodes ago, I was like, I went to a coffee shop that Aiden frequents. Yeah. And they just were so, they were icing me out on my banter. They laughed you out the store. I was just like, damn, what's going on? I was fucked up. I was being myself. And they just were so, they were icing me out on my banter. They laughed you out the store. I was just like,

damn, what's going on? I was fucked up. I was being myself and they just iced me out. So today, I go in with Aiden and,

well, Aiden goes in separately from me. We happen to be here at the same time and Aiden goes in first. I go in second like the secret mission

like we don't know each other and he orders and then me and Aiden start talking and I'm asking him how his trip was and the guy

who iced me out, he sees me hanging out with Aiden. And he goes, wait, you guys know each other? Yo, you know Aiden? He goes, wait, you guys know each other? And I'm like, yeah. And Aiden's like, yeah, yeah.

We work together. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then the guy comes up. I'm not kidding. He comes up. He goes, he pauses. He computes all that. He goes,

and he daps me up. That is crazy. He daps me up. He gives me a, he daps me up like I have value now. That is crazy. And it wasn't just a dap, it was a hug. It was a hug dap.

Like he brings me in, he goes, this is Spideyverse shit, which is really funny. And then he walked away and I looked over at Aiden and I'm like, you're the key.

He's the key. I have to follow him around and people will like me dude imagine He's like yo some loke Spin the block like we'll be alright is a dins like Vin Diesel He's the Vin Diesel of our group a dindy rose street gang This is crazy this is crazy. That's so funny.

Yo, is that Aiden? It's usually what you would hear at a Smash tournament, and that's beautiful. It wasn't even just this guy. Every barista there was chatting me up because I was next to him. Dude, you're like a star. They're like, yeah, you come in here a lot. We recognize you.

He's just a personable sweetheart. What is it, Parks and Rec, where Ron Swanson at night, he moonlights as a jazz musician? hear a lot we recognize you and i'm like personable sweetheart what is it parks and rec where uh ron swanson like at night he moonlights is like a jazz musician this is this is that this is that's how i imagine dawson and his band yeah when dawson does stuff that isn't talking to us and it's just like whoa i dude they i went to uh i went to I went to Vancouver This weekend With The Cove huh With my girlfriend

The Cove Dude Is that a thing No What do they call that The only People People say Van

Or like Van City And then The only people I've ever heard Called the Cove Is Greek life Students at UW And I'm like

Is that Is that why Ryan Reynolds Is Van City Reynolds Yeah I didn't know that Yeah that why Ryan Reynolds is Van City Reynolds? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. I was like, what's Van City? I thought you were like soccer or something.

It was a joke. I never thought of that. He just says equity in the shoes. I was walking around with Zipper 3. We walked all day through Vancouver, like 10 miles. You see anyone smoking crack? Real question. In Vancouver, no.

In Seattle, yes. In Seattle? Yes. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. That was the first time I've ever seen someone actually smoke crack was in Vancouver, like in real life with my eyes. Yeah. We saw a lot of people light up in Seattle.

Tight. But I got a message after we got back to the car. We're driving back to my parents' house andiot the weapon sends me a message on discord he says yo aiden the streets told me you were in my city you gonna check in i have told zero people literally zero oh my god and then i said how the fuck do you know we just came up for the day and then elliot who is he says says keep in mind, I've known Elliot since he was 10 years old. And he's like, what, 18 now? And he's 18 now.

He says, damn, pussy. We could have chilled, man. I'm turning 19 next week. We could have got litty. Okay. And then waits like 10 minutes and then says, I have run this city, bro. Look out. Let me go.

And then says, I have hitters. Yeah. So Elliot, context for those who don't know him, Aiden's known him for a long time. He's really good at Smash. He's played Melee. He is an 18-year-old Jewish kid from Vancouver who has watched The Wire like five times through.

What the fuck? And this is why he's like this. Also for context, I've known, I've known Elliot. I've known Elliot since he was 10 because at his first tournament, I went to a tournament when I was 16. Uh,

and he went to his first tournament when he was like 10 with his mom. And this happened a few times after, but basically his mom would ask me to watch him for the day so she didn't have to stay at the smash tournament um because i have a little brother that's like the same age as elliot um so it's just i dude i it was insane because i told nobody i was there it is kind of fucked up not to check in right you gotta check in. I gotta pay respects. You gotta pay respects. If you go to Phoenix, Arizona, you're not gonna be like, yo, Ben, what up?

You're not gonna pay respects? I guess I gotta pay respects. You gotta play one round of beerio. You're in New Hampshire, you're not gonna pay respects to my mom? It just feels so... I really wanna know how the fuck he knew I was there. He'll know next time too. So pay respects.

I'm sending something to zipper. He can pull it up. This is the, one of the last things Elliot said to me on discord. He's very, it's just, he's just watched the wire a lot. It's he's got to stop rewatching the wire. They're the kid at my school who would finish and rewatch. This is what Elliot is. One of the last things he sent to me.

This is what you're going to look like in a year. And I think that's, is that Terry Bradshaw? I don't even know. This is some basketball player who's in the Hall of Fame. Wait, is that George Carl? I don't think so. Is that his coach?

Orville Rittenbaugh. Either way, it's an extremely old, ugly white man. Who's bald. He's not ugly. He's been forged in the fire of just hanging out on the internet and discord with too many smashers older than him, I think. He's just like, and he's learned that he can get away with so much because he's a younger person. He's really funny. He's got a bright future ahead of him.

It disappears fast. What? The youth. Being younger. He's about to start being the old guy in the room. Disappe disappears every year you know I was thinking of earlier

I was like that's why he likes Sunset so much me? yeah why? uh yeah it is George Carl

what a call the Nuggets that's the only Colorado teams holy shit I can't believe he was right that was

it's crazy he knew that but he couldn't tell you messy I wanted to I wanted to bring this up because you were arguing about it teams holy shit i can't believe he was right that was it's crazy he knew that but he couldn't tell you messy i wanted to i wanted to bring this up because you were arguing about it with tarik on your stream what you were talking about who the most famous person alive is yeah and it went on for so long and i was like get me get me fucking in there is it riffraff yeah and it's probably riff-raff. He's actually second. No, to who? Lil Debbie? God.

Davina? Who's that kid? It's Drake, right? No. Wait, what kid? The kid, some rizzed up. No, Baby Gronk? Yeah, that's it, Baby Gronk.

Baby Gronk. I couldn't think of Baby Gronk. And Livvy together as a couple. I kind of skipped Baby Gronk. I don't know. As a collective. We didn't have an episode in between. I watched like all four of that dude's Baby Gronk's TikToks

and almost had a fucking aneurysm. The cadence. I love it. It's like a new wave cadence that is in so many shorts now. If Ludwig came up in the same time as that guy, that's what Ludwig would have done. It would sound like that. Yeah.

I don't know what you guys are talking about. Because like back in the day, you were making like YouTube videos and like top ten salty ice-cream moments and like This is how you do this. Remember the one- This is how Hax rizzed up Nintendo on the set up. Never made that. If he did that would be revolutionary. Hax takes four stops faster than any fox player has taken ever. This is so 20XX.

If I said Rizdup 10 years ago, I should get a fucking medal. You should, yeah. You should be put in a museum. I should be put in a pyramid. No, ziggurat. Those are the new... Is that your new? That's the new honest?

I like saying buried in a pyramid. Pyramids are too mainstream. Already? Yeah. You were saying it last week. I know. I want to be buried in a ziggurat. Can you show... Zipper, can you look up a ziggurat it's a it's a pyramid

with stairs let me tell you about the weddings well that's it for more crap three yeah whoa yeah they're kind of like Barry is this like get up there so much quicker so much easier to get up there. This reminds me of this. Is it like Mesoamerica? It's Mesoamerica. And also. I don't know. These are the things that are in Mario 64. That's. It's.

Yes. It's the Mario Kart 64 battle map. You guys are making fun of me. No. I'm saying. No. I'm saying Super Mario 64. I'm talking about.

You know. There's the one battle map in Mario Kart 64. Where it's the four squares and levels. Yeah. It was so. And you always wanted to be on the top. Because it felt cool. But it was like strategically bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah see I can relate to people maybe that's why I have a fucking podcast you're so insecure today oh my god it's all from the hair you shouldn't be insecure you shouldn't

I'm not insecure I just don't like how it looks you shouldn't that was my favorite you're plant three baby yeah I'm nuts I'm fucking

electric-fied did you guys Did you guys just do this? Do what I didn't have any I didn't have right I Didn't I when I had a Nintendo 64 and a Gamecube. I didn't have a stop. I'll stop you there. I had friends I didn't have any friends to play video games with on weekends. I was only allowed to play video games on weekends. Yeah, you didn't have any friends. What'd you do? Speak up!

What? And I played four player Mario Kart battle mode by myself. And I'd switch off the controls. No, not the CPUs. I took turns controlling all four of them. Oh my god. He wanted there to be enough balloons for his birthday party. Yeah! He's like, well if all four cars are plugged in there's like three balloons on each car.

It's like it's my birthday, all my friends are here. It's 12 balloons. Dude. So when I was like- Wow, no, I never- When I was five years old, I didn't have friends to invite over. No, you're making yourself younger. I moved all over the place.

No, I was four years old. You don't understand. When I was three, I did this. Yeah, I was a a baby I'd drive over pop on the blue and he'd switch his seats he's like oh man you really got me

thank god we're good friends though you know and I did the exact same thing so when I was also the same age also five you're not five six

that sort of age I had a bunch of I had a bunch of like Hot Wheels cars and little plastic cars and I would do these like massive race courses through the house and I would control bunch of hot wheels cars and little plastic cars, and I would do these massive race courses through the house, and I would control each of them individually and do a whole race through the room.

I think I told you about this when I was telling you. I used to do car tournaments. This is why we have empathy. And I had to do the same with Mario Kart Battle Mode. Dude, he doesn't have empathy because all of his friends when he was with his kids were just himself, like projections of himself, so he only knows what he wants because all his friends when he was his kids were just himself like projections of himself

so he only knows what he wants because all his friends were him I like this theory but I I'm a real only child and I grew up

alone for real Aiden yeah and I didn't do any of this shit so I don't know what to tell you I was so much

older than my brothers that it I had the same thing he felt alone he felt alone but I wasn't he felt alone I just couldn't play games with him really you didn't feel alone but you were playing Mario Kart by did I had the same thing you felt alone you felt alone but I wasn't I didn't say I felt alone I just couldn't play games

you didn't feel alone but you were playing Mario Kart by yourself I think the problem is you just weren't allowed to watch like the Simpsons like that would have

cured everything yeah and I wasn't allowed to play Metal Gear or Final Fantasy 7 I'll get vulnerable because you got vulnerable and I laughed at you

like a hyena you did do that I used to play tennis on my roof and I would pretend i was other people hitting it back and i made up imaginary people but it wasn't just me i would play with my imaginary friends who were mario characters i did this i would be like okay i'm waluigi now i'm mario now and i do like a little tennis tournament in my head with the characters. Not relating because this is a story with my friends.

But me and my friends invented a game that didn't have a name. We would say, you guys want to play the game? And you would, maybe I've said this before actually, but you would just become, you would pick what superhero or what character in the world that you are and all the powers that you had. And anyone else could just say any superhero they were. And it was like, there was no rules. So I could be like, well, I'm invincible now now and then they would be like well I have this I am

Sonic and songs too fast so as a matter of your mints will come faster than you and you would do this infinitely until they had a better a verbal game they had a better like you would actually run around and played Say you were winning okay, and it was everyone was just saying they were winning the whole time That was the game. This is like when kids are like saying the biggest number. Yeah, they're like it's a Billion it's a mill It's infinity times two. Yes When when I was older when I was a nine and ten Me and my friends would play we're on a club soccer team together And we would play soccer tournaments in his backyard

Where we would play the World Cup and we would list out a bracket with all the countries on it and then we would play soccer over and over and over again for like an entire afternoon but we were like each of the countries you're sitting but then we were also mario characters so you're like serbian so i'm like waluigi played for australia i'm luigi from iran we got nuclear weapons. You know what's so funny about Aiden? I was trying to formulate this into a tweet, but it was so drunk Aiden that when we were in the car

when he came home from wine about it, he instantly started quizzing himself on which nations had nuclear capabilities. And he's like, it's fucking, all right, it's Iran. I did do that. Oh, it's Iran. No,'s iran i did do that oh it's iran oh no wait no hold on it's france uk uh us russia india pakistan china north korea yeah i think that's the eight the problem was that he named seven and he was mad that he couldn't remember one.

I'm just driving and I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't know which one it could be. That's still pretty close to the end of the world list of countries. You guys have seen end of the world, right? Yeah. Yeah. Which makes sense. It lists China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the UK, and us.

What is end of the world? With nukes. You've never seen end of the world? Oh, wow. Fucking. No, I'm the boomer. I haven't seen it Exhibitor

Can you look up Which countries have Nuclear powers Let's test Aiden I think I got it right Didn't I I don't know I'm just checking

That was him As like the drunkest He's been in four years Was that That's what Aiden Likes to talk about It was very fun And we were

Hanging on the car And then When I dropped him off He's like Okay man I'll see you later man I'll see you later And he hugs me

He's like You changed my life, man. You changed my life. I'm like, all right, fine. Time to go to sleep. Change your life. I also. I think he got it. Israel.

We forgot about Israel. But in the car, you remembered Israel. Mine is exactly that. End of the world is exactly this. Mine is North Korea. Oh, nine. So I just missed. I missed Israel.

In the car, you remembered Israel. Aiden, you want to tell the people at home something embarrassing about yourself what would i tell them how much is your gym membership that you're paying for not that much how much is it nick it's a thousand dollars for the year wow he is paying that and guess what he's never gone because he didn't know he was paying for it because he doesn't have rocket money. The personal finance app that cancels your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. And as someone who does have rocket money, I was like, I'm not like Aiden.

I'm nothing like Aiden. I don't make stupid decisions. You also have a body that won't quit. And I have a body that won't quit. And I looked up in the app and I was like, I actually have 20. I was like in Vato elements. I did that. I did that when I was like, like 17. What is that. I was like in Vato Elements. I did that when I was like 17. How long have I been paying for that?

It's like motion graphics. I didn't even know I was paying for it. Yeah, he just has different, he's better at motion graphics now. Most Americans think they spend around $80 a month on subscriptions. The actual total is closer to $200. I'm gonna go.

Aiden is an outlier. I will go. Like Spiders, Georg. You find a subscription you don't want, you press cancel. Rocket Money cancels it for you. Because you know how hard it is to go to gym sometimes. I don't need to cancel it because I'm going to go. You aren't going to go.

That's why you should get the app. Hey, you've already quit. So how about you click the button to quit and save yourself some money? And you can do that by going to rocketmoney.com slash theyard. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel all your wants and subscriptions. I'm not throwing it away. Go to rocketmoney.com and say Aiden please.

rocketmoney.com slash theyard Aiden. You can use our code. Did you know that? I will go use it. We have a show and you can use the code and you can make your life better instead of being so goddamn annoying. Use the code the money comes to us. Now give the back it back to slime. Give the jacket back to slime. Give the jacket back. Pop it back on. Give the jacket back to slime.

Snap your fingers. Snap your fingers. Snap. Oh no snap your fingers snap your fingers right now. I'm fingers Stepping I'm not gonna stoke on Trent. It's not there anymore. It's not in show Maybe you should know what that wasn't your reason. Let's be real. I'm going Can I get real with you? Yeah, it's near Brighton. Yeah, so you could go hang out with all the UK Yeah, Tommy in it And so you could go hang out with all the UK Tubers Tommy Innet Did Tommy Innet fall off? No he's doing fine Did he fall off? He didn't even fall off a little bit

Come to think of it he did fall off a little bit He's doing fine Is his name a sexual entendre? No it's just Tommy And then Innet is a British thing You know that's a thing got it you know that you know that's a british thing you just know that you know that you like you like you like that i do not know anything if you look at the mathematics at any given time you see that the mathematics is correct

every time no it's not almost but this is the edge closey world. How do you not know NMZ world? This is crazy. Did you guys know you can buy royalties? Like, you can trade royalties of songs, like assets. I found this out because I was on the biz forum. I thought he was going to say the web. The biz forum. Like, 4chan? Yeah, it was on 4chan biz because I like to see what they all freak out about. And it was, what's it called

it's called royalty exchange it's not an ad or anything it's probably cringe but someone's like yeah i bought some nelly songs are these like do you think i'll get some exchange like do you think we'll get returns back on this and it was so funny like you could just trade like jaw rule tracks do you get paid like do you get paid dividends from use of the song? Maybe. I haven't looked into it at all, but it's like, there's like an NFT section and all this shit, and it's just really funny because I'm like, that's so interesting. It's basically making a song go public.

Yeah, yeah. I get a $5 kickback whenever the Russian USSR anthem is played. Yeah, in like a documentary. When the Air Force theme plays. When the Air Force theme plays and all the kids have to sing it? I'm getting fucking paid, bitch. Every time the USSR wins in Call of Duty 4, I get like three cents. Yeah, I was thinking about that.

What if you did that with your cover? I think that'd be legal. Why? Because it's a cover. But you're monetizing it? No. You're not making money on Spotify. Spotify's making money.

I don't know. I'd have to check if I'm making money on Spotify. Spotify's making money. I don't know. I'd have to check if I'm making money on Spotify. You do make money on Spotify, right? I don't know if you're sitting on a milli. You already know. That's not a milli. A million dollars. I barely have a million listens.

You and Drake, most famous people in the world. That's not... First of all, the most famous person is definitely Donald Trump. It's... Yeah. What about Obama? I think Donald Trump's more famous. Probably Trump.

No. I think Donald Trump's definitely more famous than Obama. Isn't it just the most recent president is more famous then? Not always, because I think the Pope is in contention. Pope's not in contention. Why? I thought this was dumb, because you guys couldn't even name who the Pope was. Yeah, but...

The Pope is in contention. That's a good point. No, no, no, but it's the pope. But you can't name the guy. Like, does the name matter? No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter.

The idea of the most famous person is that you can see that you see the person and you're like, I recognize them. If I show a picture of the pope and someone goes, that's the pope,

they're right. But only with the clothes on. That's like saying, if the answer was 50 cent, you'd have to know his real name too? No, no, no. Oh! No, I know his real name too? No, no, no. No, I think, no, no, no, no, no.

The Pope is essentially 50 Cent. I think you guys are being dumb because this is like saying, oh, the president of the United States. I think a lot of people would look at Donald Trump and say the president. I'm not talking about Donald Trump. Isn't the last Pope, the last Pope resigned and is still alive, right? Or died like really recently. So it's like, because the last dude is still alive. If you saw really recently so it's like because the last dude is still alive if you saw that guy it's like you don't you the pope wasn't wearing the big

stupid hat and he was dressed in like a band t-shirt you would not know who that is the pope is like saying the president but i also like i wouldn't recognize like like a teacher outside of class you know yes you would because it would be so boring you're a fucking moron i think chat why are you trying to connect with 11 year olds youtube vote in chat i do yeah i think that the for the argument to stand you have to be able to know you're looking at the pope when you're looking at the pope yeah and i think you would know if you saw a picture of the pope that that's the pope but but i think so he needs the big hat what are you here is you could take another old guy and put him in the pope outfit and everyone would still think that's the Pope because they don't know what he looks like.

This feels like a weird argument because you could put a Donald Trump impersonator and then go to like Nepal and then be like, is this, who's this? And they'd be like, Donald Trump. You'd be like, fucking idiot. You actually are a fucking dumbass. I think the idea is. Donald Trump's a little bit more rooted in human attributes. If you showed a picture of Pope, Pope Francis to a bunch of people,

a bunch of people could probably say Pope. If you showed a picture of Donald Trump to people when he was the president, a lot of people would be able to say Trump and not just the president. Hold on, what if we put Trump in the Pope costume? Do they say it's Trump or do they say it's the Pope? That's just the most famous person in the world.

Would you count if you showed them a picture of Donald Trump and they said Trump as the answer? Wait, yeah, of course. What if they just said the president world would you count if you showed them a picture of donald trump and they said trump as the answer wait yeah of course what if they just said the president would you count it uh the president of the united states sure like i i don't know if i would count that he made a good point but he interrupted the stipulation he made the point he already needed to make earlier the stipulation is that you know the person's name or i would say what they were notably called like if you don't know fucking Like 50 cents like full name. I don't think that counts I think what they're what they're like pen name is

But you not just like what their role or like name is the home is just the Pope Pope as a role Pope as a role in society. That's not the Hard as fuck though like most people don't a ton of people don't know that it's pope francis they just know of the figure that might be loosely identifiable as the all right vote in chat because i think i think me and nick are right because i think they call him the pope i think they call him like el papal yeah but you're you're born maybe it's the dalai lama like you're born, maybe it's the Dalai Lama. It's like you're born wanting to kiss children. Which is also not his name.

Yeah, that's like a label. Right? No. Isn't it? Is he Dalai Lama something? No, no. Dalai Lama is just the name of his title. So what, his name is like Rick?

Yeah. I don't think he's in the running anyway. It's Rick James. He's not, but like. But in your world, Dalai Lama. I'm back on love extent. Because if you ask, like, if you were able to ask every single person in the world

and say do you know do you know who the Dalai Lama is and they say yes right that should count towards a point in the Dalai Lama's field of fame but in Aiden's world

unless they know it's Lama then we don't know who the Dalai Lama is I actually don't even think in that world it matters if you can recognize the Dalai Lama on the street if you just know who that is

because you've like heard of it and you've been in the world that should count I think we're going for most famous person that most people can recognize in the world I know who that is because you've like heard of it and you've been in the world that should count uh i think we're going for most famous part of their fame is that you could like you'd you'd recognize the person and like if the person was wearing regular clothes you would like recognize the person sitting down at like a coffee shop our discussion was who is the most famous person in the world like who if showed, like if you could get everyone's brain catalog. I think part of knowing a person is knowing their name.

What if I said, what is the most famous artist in the world musically? But you couldn't tell any of the members of Queen on the street. If you saw them on the street, you wouldn't know they were Queen. You couldn't see Freddie Mercury's fucked up teeth. And you wouldn't know because you don't know how he's fucked up i don't i okay i don't even think i see the point you're making but i think that whatever that band whatever the band is it's either probably the lead the lead singer or they're probably not in contention like realistically the most famous music artist in the world is a solo artist i could not tell you what jd salinger

looks like wait it's not about contention. It's just the principle of defining what counts for fame. I think the street clothes thing is dumb. I think the Beatles is one of the most famous bands ever. I think a lot of people know. I think there are a lot of people who know the Beatles but don't know the titles of Beatles songs. Don't know who Paul McCartney is.

Maybe they don't know Ringo Starr. There's a comparison you can make here. The Pope is just this ethereal figure, much like God. Not even relating to religion or anything. But he is a figure that we just know about because we're told about him. But the Pope's like, you know, we don't really see the Pope a lot. But who the Pope is is a question that a lot of people can't answer. Yeah, and that is a very specific thing to the Pope.

And also like monarchs. Like the Queen, I guess. I don't know. This is a very specific thing to the pope but and also like monarchs like the queen i guess i don't know this is kind of weird hers would be a little less weird because she's her her name is like in the title so a lot of people would dead elizabeth i think it's i think it's i but that's why i think it's trump it's like you don't it's not just like oh the u.s president it's like you recognize he was the president i think you have a big american lens here you have to understand too because i think no but that's why you're taking this pope valor i think you're saying oh it's the pope obviously because i'm a fucking hero trash i don't it's like no no no i'm saying i thought it was trump i started this by

saying it's trump but i think the pope's in contention and then aiden is saying the pope and the dalai lama apparently would be less famous than me. That's so funny. No, that's not what I said. You're basically saying the Dalai Lama, unless you know his name and you could recognize him in street clothes, doesn't count. The position or figure is more recognizable than you,

but him as an individual is not. I think a lot of people will, once there's a new Dalai Lama, is like, if you show a guy dressed in similar garb of a similar age and then ask like people do you know who this is a lot of people will just say the dalai lama but that's silly because no one cared who he was till he put on the pope the costume but here's who i think the the answer to the question i think it's funny because actually if batman was real adan would be like, Batman's not the most famous person,

because we don't know who Batman is. And anybody could don the mask, and they would be considered Batman. I think there's a value in that. There's actually truth in that. I know. There's actually truth in that. Because a new guy could become Batman.

I have a question. Marshmallow does this all the time. If you met someone, and you said, have you heard of the streamer Ludwig? And they said, yes. What would the reason be that they've heard of Ludwig beside the fact that he's famous? Like, why would someone, maybe they don't know his real name.

They don't know what he does for streaming, but they've heard of him. Yeah. Is that not because he's famous? Yeah. So shouldn't that be part of the metric we're measuring in like, is someone the most famous most famous like you've heard of them Where is the line between like

Person a person and like job, I guess that's that's what i'm thinking like because by the way and you said american lens that's so fucked because i don't know if you read my dm to you but my first answer before you guys had even talked about it was ronaldo it's definitely also absolutely you also said andrew tate and matt walsh i thought it was for the line between his job that's weird for the line between his job thing, the Pope is not famous for who he is. He's famous for his job. Yeah, but the Pope is the position that is famous. Francis as a person, like Pope Francis, Pope Francis, less famous than just Pope.

But Donald Trump, not the president, substantially less famous than Donald Trump as the president. That's why I disagree is what he's become trump trump is more recognizable as a figure who is like exceeding his job this current job his position was what helped elevate him so but now substantially trump is like as or more famous than than he ever was right whereas like francis will become less recognizable after he is no longer the Pope. So, like, for example, it doesn't count if, like, an actor

is only known by their role. Because they're just known as their name, right? Who's the most famous person? Oh, it's Woody. What? The character? No, sorry. I'm trying to make an analogy.

Yeah, I get it. I fucked it all up. I was like, twist it. I'm trying to make an analogy. Yeah, I get it. But I fucked it all up. I was like, Toy Story? I just fucked it up. Ultimately, this is the postmodern debate of the abstraction of the self. This is very classic. Everyone's done this before, and no one's come to a good answer, and everyone's going to scream forever.

Let us have a podcast, man. Don't talk about philosophy. Let us have a podcast. What I'm saying is you guys are just, you're running in the hamster wheel of trying to understand the self versus, you know, the simulacra, whatever. This is a real thing and no one has an answer. So

you need to come to a consensus now on this show. This does not leave the show. This has an answer. We have to have our final thoughts and then we let the people decide. Closing statements. Closing statements. Closing statement. Pope aside, even if you were counting pope as the position i think that trump i actually think trump and ronaldo are more famous than that position because they're ronaldo as a like the most recognizable global sports star is somebody everybody everywhere will know on average

no matter where you are even in places where thoughts about the the fame thing you need to defend your answer for the past 20 minutes yeah yeah oh okay closing didn't know that you're saying what we're arguing what counts counts as fame? Cause we were both on the same page. I don't think the Pope is the most famous. I thought, I still think it's Trump. I started this by saying, okay,

I think, I think that fame, fame is about you being recognized as an individual separated from your position. So if you can be separated from your position in society and still be recognized as, as a famous person? So in Ronaldo's case, after he quits playing soccer, or in the Pope's case, after he is no longer the Pope, and will people still know who Francis is afterwards? Or how well or how recognizable

is Trump after his presidency is over is a good marker of how famous somebody is and it's more about them as an individual disassociated with the position that may have contributed to them being famous and time time um i take this one yeah it's you okay i i look i would say don't say look to the audience. Just, he gave a dry... He fucked up for a full minute talking about... Maybe try check it instead of look. Check it. He has a bit of a backwards hat on.

Let me get it started. I think it is impossible to divorce the job from the human because fame is the lens in which other people view them. And so I forever for many people in my small amount of fame compared to who we're talking about. Yeah. And forever trapped in some people's minds as who I was two, three years ago when they heard of me and maybe they've never seen me since. And so for you to say fame is actually when you are no longer famous and your thing, your tenure is past, your tenure is past. You're no longer the Pope. You're no longer the president. Your tenure is past. Your, your peak fame is past. How famous are you then to me is, is a weird way to phrase it. Cause i'm just looking for the peak the most

famous you have ever been which for most people will be heavily associated with what job they had or what moment they had in time and i don't think you need to divorce those ideas why are you you can't just say something i didn't say yes he can because what you said is recorded so people can look at ludwig and say that's what he said. It's a remodel, and the viewers can if they think- Going last is an advantage, but you gotta hold that. And if your argument is sound enough, they will see through his bullshit. But there is an initiative to see through-

And this is the art of the debate. It's not a requirement that they- No, it's not a requirement! It's not a requirement! And you got ten more seconds. You said Pope Benedict when you talked about it. Time! Pope Benedict when you talked about it. It's been really hard to get through this debate with my opponent, and I just want to

appreciate everyone for listening, and I try to make it civil. Time. Okay. So vote on your phones down in the comments. Who's right? Is it London, or is it Innan, or is it an abstraction of the self and it's between the two? And that's a cop out. Or it's Nick, who's just kind of weirdly grunting a lot.

Could be. I got into grunting a lot lately. My trainer hates it. He doesn't like it. I just walk around, I'll go... Like a tennis player? It's like when I'm working out, right before I gotta work out. When you hit the rep, you're like, oh!

No, I don't make that noise. That was so crazy. That's what it takes to get into semifinals of women's professional tennis. It does. So this is fucking serious.

It does take exertion of effort. It's not a quiet title. I just like making noise. I don't like holding it in. Can I try this? Anything. I groan. What is Christian saying?

I'm looking at the topic list wow oh yeah that reminds me wouldn't it be so it'd be so much funnier if he was

diabetic yeah isn't it just like why just because like why oh my god because we were

watching a deep call we call him beaties we dupe you and he eating shit you shouldn't eat. Oh my god, he'd be tired all the time. He like had some juice.

And then we'd be like, why are you so tired? He'd be like, I'm diabetic! I'm diabetic, and I can't- My glycemic index is just way- And we'd be like, why don't you just watch your- He'd be in Camp Rock. Why don't we watch your weight? And he's like, this is how it works!

Yeah, we were talking- No, it's not how insulin works. It's not how insulin works. Let me explain. Insulin resistance is- No, so we were watching insulin works. It's not how insulin works. Let me explain. Insulin resistance is- no, so we were watching Camp Rock 2, and Nick Jonas is diabetic in it, and I was like, man, what- Not in Camp Rock, in real life.

Well, also in Camp Rock. It's not like it stopped working. I guess he is playing- no, he's not playing Nick Jonas, is he? Well, what I'm saying is- They made his character diabetic, and in real life he's diabetic? No, he's not diabetic as the character. This is actually the same debate The character in Camp Rock is still diabetic because the body of Nick Jonas is the one inhabiting the character Does he present diabetes?

It's like saying that like we're so we're watching Batman Christian Bale's a Batman it it's like no yeah, he's the Batman in the Batman No, no, no, Christian Bale in real life is diabetic, then that means Batman is diabetic. Is Nick Jonas more famous than the character he's played in Kid Rock? If Sean Penn's diabetes... Does he present diabetic? Is he like, oh, I'm kind of tired today? I would, like, say it outright.

No, there's not a shot of him checking his blood sugar. Does he, like, eat a sugary snack? Could the audience explore the idea that maybe Nick Jonas was diabetic representation? In Spider-Man, Gwen has some presentation as trans. Okay. So people have come to that conclusion. Right. Similarly in Camp Rock 2, does Nick Jonas like eat a donut?

He's in the cafeteria sometimes. Okay. He is eating sometimes in the cafeteria. More often than other people? About the same rate Which goes to show they might be at a diabetic summer camp Hip hop might be about Kids with diabetes

Learning to play instruments But also being an artist Does he say something? He goes I have a fucking diabetes guitar Right? It's about how diabetes Diabetes He goes, I have a fucking diabetes guitar, right? Yeah. It's about how diabetes diagnosed kids deserve to go to camp too.

I wish you had diabetes. Right? It'd be so funny. Why would I be funnier if I had diabetes? The same reason that people would say like, who's that guy who's funnier when he's fatter? They always say that Seth not Seth Rogen

the other guy Jonah Hill it'd be like that I don't even think that's true Jonah Hill right now looks insane I don't know if it's true

but even placebo work well Jonah Hill has a line to Seth Rogen's character in Funny People where he says fuck you like you're weird skinny

you're a funny fatter like it's funny it's like a mirror yeah poetry it rhymes it rhymes yeah rhymes so yeah diabetic aiden there were so many topics today we just had we had i was gonna bring up how i just found out that robert de niro and al pacino both had children at the age of 79 and 83 respectively that's still pumping baby fucking they're still pumping calm aiden Isn't that fucking insane? They're still pumping cum, Aiden. It's still impressive they got that many swimmers.

That's what I was thinking. They're just, they're... They're taking trend. God, they're taking trend. Oh, their cum must be so weird. There's a picture... You have like a Benjamin Button chick kid at that age. ...of Al Pacino in the car with the mother of his child.

And Al Pacino looks like a fucking skeleton. Yeah. And I was like, how are you even pumping? Yeah, it's because those ancient Hollywood drugs. Blue Chew, baby. It's called Blue Chew. Yeah, the Blue Chew. It gives Al Pacino big titties.

Blue Chew's been getting all these Hollywood actors to do their ads. This is starting to make some sense. The cabal of Blue Chew's taking over. Do me a favor, zipper. Oh, my gosh Healthier than We should mention this because it is crazy.

Are you talking about the blood? Were you here when we were talking about this before? No, I wasn't. I saw it on Twitter, but we were talking about it in our fucking free time. Yeah, in our free time before you showed up. I think you posted it too in the chat, right? Yeah, I put it in our friend personal chat. Nick just can't stop thinking. Asmr replied to this tweet, Zipper.

He didn't tweet it himself, but there is a tweet that has been replied to. And and it was how in his bedroom there's bloodstains on the wall. And it's because he would wake up in the middle of the night and his gums would be bleeding and he'd wipe them and then just drag it on the wall.

Yeah. To get rid of it. To get rid of it. It was like it was like when we're freaky makes the Simba tree. Yeah. Yeah. The king has returned. You know how much blood has to come out of your gums to make that?

The amount of blood in the picture, there's so much. I used to flick my boogies on my walls and hide them. It's not hiding them, it's displaying them as art. Well, I would try to hide them, but on the wall. Here it is. When I was 12 or 13, I broke the light Of my bedroom When my friends And I were being animals Ever since then I've just used a lamp

Because we were too Oh oh This is This is him tweeting about it And then there's blood On the wall Separate to that Oh my god

That's so insane To look at It is so much It actually makes me gag A little bit I can fix it I can fix it Wait

What was Was it on the Wine about episode You talking about You ate your boogers Yeah he still eats his boogers Isn't that crazy Yeah it is crazy

He still eats your boogers Can we not you're a man is that like a diabetic thing it's very shameful do you still do it in the car that's crazy we had a whole conversation is it like snails i'll leave it alone this. Why did you never think to just flick it out the window? I actually do not know. He's like Asmongold. I will leave it alone after this. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. Because it's probably the most shameful thing about me.

I'm going to leave it alone after this. But if earlier you voted for Aiden, that's your guy. Okay? End time. Wow. Butt slinging in this political climate. I've seen him flick it out of the window. I never, I just. I like smelling my own farts.

Aiden's got too much shit today. Aiden's got way too much shit today. We need to pass it around. I got a lot of shit. I was also... Fuck you guys. I was so drunk. I was the most drunk I've been in the last three years.

You don't eat your burgers when you're drunk. You eat them sober. He takes a good shot before. You're not helping yourself. I'm trying to take the heat off of you. What did Nick do wrong? Let's don't go, Nick. I was all excited to go on a fucking free trip to Brazil

My god Go to Brazil and then I watched them get smoked so so in the call Explain why the fucking the all hands every Friday everyone gets in a call and we talk about what we're doing that week

also to be clear to those people who may not understand this Mogul Moves is not the four of us Mogul Moves is a big company

it's an 18 person company 18 employees so everyone's in this call together Yingo's in there it's crazy Aiden never shows up

Aiden's never showing up it's fine though I didn't show up I skipped this week I was at a wedding who cares went to a wedding who cares love I didn't

was it beautiful did you weep yeah oh my god he didn't say yes immediately yeah it was I did cry at the vows there you go

that's beautiful that's a successful wedding so we're at the all hands and I used I like to update people on what's happening and now you guys are mad at me

because in the all hands I mentioned that I needed a list of people who were going to follow the Moist Moguls to Brazil, to Sao Paulo, which is where the Ascension tournament is happening. Yes.

Which is a tournament exclusive to the top two performing teams in North American Challengers of the 12 total teams. And we were in a match that same day to get that spot, which we, of course, if you don't know by now, lost.

And it took a lot of time for everyone to discuss who got to go, who wanted to go, who could go. Five to ten minutes. And it was know by now lost and it took a lot of time for everyone to discuss who got to go who wanted to go who could five to ten minutes and it was like oh and it's cool and everyone's really excited and it was crazy that you and then i asked a key question at the end of this meeting you actually are i asked a key question i was like wait a minute wait have they gotten in yet to go to brazil oh and ludwig, no, but like, I'm just, you gotta like, you know, you gotta, you know, plan for the big day. And then they play that day and they don't make it.

They lost. It was crazy. First of all, I hate to even say that. You, as a part of Mogul Moves, should never utter those words again. Bad juju. I actually think you're right, but I was just clarifying. Second, I was asked clarifying. Second,

I was asked by Riot three days prior to get the list. That was the deadline. So Riot was on my ass about getting the list before we were in because they needed the information for all the teams, prospective teams. They wanted to rip it. He said this in the meeting.

I did say this in the meeting. I remember this. I just wanted to be mad at them. And that's why I asked for the information but i was already with this oh that doesn't matter i don't know because it's i don't know i didn't have the context and then you said that after when you did have the context because you got me you got me all riled up me and yingling kept talking about we're going to brazil man look we're going to brazil together you and me do you think i'm happy? Yingling thinks Brazil's in Mexico. It's a whole thing.

Yeah. I did tell him. I was like, I was looking at the flights and like how long it was going to be. How long is it? Dude, it takes almost like 20 hours. Why? Because you have to stop somewhere. You can't go direct?

No. I figured it'd be. Zero direct from LAX. Similar distance to Japan. No, it's shorter physical distance, but there's no directs from LAX. Similar distance to Japan. No, it's shorter physical distance, but there's no directs from LAX. There's no pathing? It's probably because it's the mountains.

Bad pathing. Yeah, bad pathing over Peru. Hey, Sam, from Windows. They've got bad pathing over Peru for sure. Japan's further because we were only allowed to fly to the right. Yeah, that's true. Also, there's not a lot of places to stop in the ocean. Factor, factor, factor. Factor, factor, factor. Also, I don't know, there's not a lot of places to stop in the ocean. Factor, factor, factor! Factor, factor, factor!

No, we don't do this. Factor, factor, factor. If Nintendo finds out we're using their melodies, Factor will get carpet bombed. I made that up. You did not make that up. Yeah, that's the next song. Shigeru Miyamoto made that up and he will fucking kill you. Fellas! I'll tell you what I make.

Oh, fresh Factor meals. Two minutes in the microwave and I got a delicious, nutritious chef prepared meal straight from from the door. He doesn't even eat

them. The thing about factors fresh, never frozen meals ready in just two minutes. Ludwig will heat that heated up and then just rub it all over.

And that's the thing straight from the door. I won't rub it all over one meal in his hole. I can't wish meal. Do you like to put in your hole? Is it the apple cinnamon pancakes, the bacon and cheddar egg bites, or the potato?

We used to call him Salmon Pocket Samuel in high school. That's where he kept all his friends. If you don't want to be Salmon Pocket Samuel. I'd probably pick potato and bacon. To put in your channel? What do you do? Keto, calorie smart, vegan, veggie, or protein plus? Obviously protein plus.

To fill with your cement in your hole. If I were to put it in my hole, I would eat it. It's approved by chefs. No, sorry. It's prepared To fill with your, like, cement. I wouldn't put it in my hole. I would eat it. Okay, you can do what I said. It's approved by chefs. No, sorry. It's prepared by chefs, not approved. Well, probably both. And then also approved.

The chefs do not approve of the Factor Meals. The chefs make it, but they don't approve. The dieticians have the chefs at gunpoint. And the dieticians approve it, but they don't make it. It's a great deal. They compliment each other. It's like the American government. Bit of a yin-yang situation.

Head to factormeals.com slash theyard50. Use code theyard50 to get 50% off your first box. Because Ludwig, if you don't use this code, Ludwig will take all the factor meals. And he'll put them in his hole, and he'll rub them on himself, and they're gone forever. And he'll one-bite them from Nesdy Classified.

Don't you understand? He's coconut head. Code theyard50 at factormeals.com slash theyard50 to get 50% off of Ludwig's box. It's America's number one ready meal kit. if you again if you don't get this this deal Ludwig's box will go on sale Anybody can use it anyway Ludwig's box And this is the real show and the boat you're watching normally is that it's like Tibet And this is the real show, but what you're watching normally is the head.

It's like Tibet. Brazil is the Tibet of... We could go to Brazil anyway. Let's do a trip. Come on. We don't want to go on a Mormon mission trip. We should split into two groups of two and see who converts more people in Brazil. Yeah. In Mormonism?

We have to convert first. It's a popular place for Mormon mission. You don't have to. You can sell anything. I can sell you this pen. I don't use pens. Alright. You know. I can sell you this pen. I don't use pens. All right. You know what I'm saying?

Here, you have a pen. But I could. I would buy one if you had one right now. I'm saying. Yeah. Do you think we'll ever go on a trip for the podcast again? Ever? Dude, it's been like a couple months.

Like, when's our last trip? It wasn't that long ago, right? It was in Japan. It was so recent. Do you think we'll ever go on one? We went to Japan in February. Could we do one, Dad? No way you say it that way.

He does. We've done this before. February. How do you say it? February? February. February. February.

February. I'm not taking this bait again. It's not bait. I've done this. It's not bait if I'm consistent, right? It's still bait because you still say Valorant. Don't say it like an asshole. That's how you say it. No, I say Valorant. Don't say it like an asshole. That's how you say it.

No, I say Valorant. You bounce, though. I hate the bounce. It's like, why do you do that? I'm just happy. No, you're not happy. You asked him earlier, do I look happy in a sad tone. You just said that.

It's not about our smuggles losing. You use a bounce like a Spanish N. It's like Valorant. You have to have it on the letter. Yeah, there's an accent mark on it. It's like Valorant. I am Spanish. You have to have it on the letter. Yeah, there's an accent mark on it. It's got an accent igoo.

Oh, wait, wait. Really, banger idea. Oh, my gosh. You're going to like it. I don't think I will. Do you know about Bang Bros? Is that where they

fuck people? Yes. It's an old porn series. Probably not ethical. Probably unethical. Where they drive a van around and they have sex in the van. Okay.

And they film it. Probably unethical. Zipper just showed the Al Pacino picture again. Who invented Bang Bros. Oh, he's an equity holder. That's what he's famous for. I had a better idea than that.

Wow. Ethical Bang Bros. Wait, let me put him like Al Pacino. All right, sell it as Tony Star. It's called Dang Bros. And it's a van where it's

like dude perfect and they go around doing trick shots that make you say dang. Yeah, so he said this to me. He actually practiced this on me how'd it go about as well as this is going

I don't want to be around anyone dude I love saying that do you guys not think this is a good idea no I don't I don't I actually want to move past this like so quickly what are you talking about I am feeling like I'm taking crazy pills it is so good

I also feel like you're taking crazy pills. What is wrong? Tell me what's wrong with the idea. Tell me why it's bad. Be a fucking human being to me for once and explain why it's bad instead of laughing in my face. Let me reach across the aisle for a bit. Let me reach across the aisle.

Here, check it. This would fail on TBS. Explain. Dang. Show your work for once, you piece of shit. Like. Dang, bro. So, like, if we go somewhere and we set up a hoop really far away, really far, and it's going to be so impressive if we make it.

And there's a random person and we're like, check this out. And we just miss for a while because that's what happens. We just don't post that one, you fucking idiot. I think Dude Perfect hits those? I'm saying I'm saying when we eventually hit it they're not going to be that hype.

They're going to be like oh fuck yeah you got it finally because it will have taken us so long to get it. It'd be like if David Blaine did a magic tour but he fucked up

the first 15 times on all his tricks and it was still the same people in front of him and he's like alright this time for real I'm going to put it through my heart. No don't you think

that's why you're in of him and he's like Dang bro, hey, we're just gonna pay you say the line and we're gonna be here for another hour trying to get the shot and we'll Just edit it. We just film you saying the line and we'll go shoot trick shots at home later Another reason why it's bad why it's origin Elaborate makes no sense to me what you're saying I'm thinking it does the way you're talking it comes from bang bros, right? Right, that's that's like a name like a wrecking I'm thinking it does the way you're talking. It comes from Bang Bros, right? Right. That's like a name, like a brand. That's right.

His outfit, he's ethical. It's like a brand recognition thing. Bang Bros is like DeWalt or Coors Light. It's an American recognized brand. The thing that people are really good at, I think everyone is good at, is ideating off of something else. But if you're ideating off of something..., but if you're I dating off of something

By the way, thank you. I know you're gearing up to come This is a shit sandwich and you ate the bread, but it's not all good after I Gotta tell you that you're iterating off something dumb. So it's like what I am it It was unethical, but people watched it. I know, but I watched my favorite porn growing up. It was called Izzy Gets Hosed. I could iterate off that all day. I remember in the old story about this. That's a weird favorite porn, by the way. You didn't say it was your favorite ever.

I was saying my favorite meal is ice cream. It's not like a main dish. I don't think Izzy Gets Hosed. That's my favorite porn, Izzy Gets Hosed. That was a replay value. You can't just watch that one. It was a replay value. I showed it to all my friends.

Did you? Yeah, you told us about that. I porn. Izzy gets hosed. That was funny. That was a replay value. You can't just watch that one. It was a replay value. I showed it to all my friends. Did you? Yeah. You told us about that. I showed everybody Izzy. So I can iterate off Izzy, you know? Yeah. I wouldn't want you to. Fizzy gets hosed, and we spray people with soda pop.

I thought you were talking about jazz. I was like, that's so gross. He's just terrible. You cannot talk about jazz that way. No, I was not talking about it. The Fizzy Hose Show. And we go around, we shake up bottles of soda, and we spray kids the beach. Okay. I was like, that's so gross. You cannot talk about jazz that way. The fizzy hose show. We go around, we shake up bottles of soda, and we spray kids at the beach. Why kids?

It's not a sexual show. But you said hose. No, the hose is the... What do you think Izzy gets hosed means? No, but the way you said hose, I said plural. You see how we iterated off something and immediately it felt so bad, right? Similar to Bunny.

I see it works. Dang bros. No kids. Absolutely not. No, I respect that about dang bros. That's the only thing I respect. No, the beauty is that the kids are the audience. You don't think the kids should be in the audience.

You want the kids to say dang and not damp. Yeah, we don't want to swear. Kids say dang across America. Kids, hold hands across America, say dang at our cool trick shots. Because they can't curse. It's a conservative show. And it's a van, conservative. And the kids can ride in the van.

And there's conservative values. If they want to take a ride in the van, go to the beach, we can take them to and fro. A conservative podcast where we make trick shots to make the audience say dang. Dang. And also vote red that's good to slowly and then we get super pack money slowly turn california into a red state this is called this is called a blue hair bitch shot yeah this is this is called this is called meatball you know guys i will let you guys use the yard money to do the first episode. I will not be part of it Sounds like an Amanda Bynes cut like an Amanda Bynes show it does sound like it in all that sketch

Yeah, and I'm gonna bat bathtub. Yeah, dang, bro. We wrote it. We kind of already wrote the sketch once. We wrote the perfect dudes. Remember that? The perfect dudes? Yeah, we wrote a sketch for the other day. We never shot.

And it was the perfect dudes. Nick's dude perfect phase was so funny. He was talking about the cruise. He was writing sketches based on dude perfect. Oh, my God. It was so insane. That sketch is so funny. Might have been the most crushed Nick has been. Nick is like, dude, we should go to the dude perfect cruise. He was god. It was so insane. That's just so funny. Might have been the most crushed Nick has been is Nick is like,

dude, we should go to the Dude Perfect. He was down. I'll never forget that. And then Slime, he was like, no, that's dumb. Yeah.

And Nick was like, what are you talking about? He was like, why do you like ride or die? It was like me saying Roddy Mullins sucks. It actually, dude, it would be us

and just families from middle America. It'd be so funny. I'm so glad Aiden's here. Raising up some dude perfect moms. You're seeing the value in the trip. I like that. There's at least one swingers party on the dude perfect cruise.

The only reason it'd be kind of cool is because I've always, ever since I was in college, known that cruises are the best place to murder people. Yeah. You just throw someone over that bit and that's a done deal. They'll never check and they'll never find the body. I'm watching Succession right now.

There's a whole subplot about that shit. Yeah. That's tight. My teacher used to tell us that all the time. She's a crime writer. Wow.

Ambitious. Because you don't have to... Isn't it... A successful crime writer. Is it because you don't have to report the guy? Ambitious. Tried to live, probably.

Huh? Is it because you don't have to report the murder or something uh it's because they can't find the body and they can't see what happens and they don't stop this feels like an endorsement i'm not endorsing where it can happen on the dude perfect crew boats are like one of the only places if someone goes missing you just assume they're dead. You move on. From school, it's like, well, they could be anywhere.

And they don't open up a homicide case usually. They're not like, oh. It's a missing case. Unless there was motive. If you were on a cruise, I'd fucking kill you. I thought about this. Why would you think it would be so bad for you? Nick's talking.

I thought about this when I was thinking about the you think it would be so bad for you? Nick's talking. I thought about this when I was thinking about the Titanic for one day. If you fell off a boat and the boat went away and whatever and for some reason,

well, maybe I shouldn't say that. For some reason, you don't know which direction the boat left. You fell off the boat, you went underwater,

you got confused, you came back up and the boat's gone, right? How would you decide what direction to swim? You can't. You just pick and you stick with it. How would you decide? how would you decide what direction to swim you can't you just pick and you decide how would you decide i look at the sun and i would find out where my cardinal directions were and i'd swim and i'd be chad so what north south east west you figure out where it is you wouldn't swim oh my god you don't need to know where the boat is

going or heading to know where your cardinal direction is no i know i'm the reason why i took out the boat is because you could potentially just go the direction the boat is going or heading to know where your cardinal direction is. No, I know. The reason why I took out the boat is because you could potentially just go the direction the boat was going. Right. And assume that's closest to land. But what I'm saying is, like, if you know the boat's going from, like, A to B, you know where A is, you know where B is. And so you could know that direction. It's, like, east to west. And then you find that out with the sun. And then you swim.

I guess what I'm not saying that the boat's direction is the closest to land land I'm saying you have to find land because you're in the water right the West even though the most I heading West could be closest To land it's not where the boats going we do you know where you got off no Well you'd have to know how long you were on the boat Yeah, the voyage is supposed to do where that's all you know all you know so dependent I think the difference is like if you're if you're fucking in the middle of the ocean you probably don't swim at all Your only angle is to wait your eyes So your is it if you guys were to spawn in the middle of ocean some boat no trip It's not really ocean you just died not swim you just go okay loose

So you're just wanting us to pick a direction. We like the most I think West I'm saying what you would return if you figured out where North was would you would you go north? Do you know something I don't think I would pick a direction I don't couldn't tell you the direction I go, but I could tell you whatever direction I pick, I stick to. You gotta stick to it. But what if, if you went east, it was so close? I might go a direction that I think

I could consistently swim in. I'd go how I bet in Blackjack. I would randomly change my directions, but never backwards. But you're always going backwards if you're changing your directions. No. I would go north, then northeast.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep north, then northeast. That's like less progress. A straight line is always going to help you out. One straight shot. One shot like Aiden's dad. Like Aiden's dad and Cutie messaging him. Did you see the Titanic thing? Yeah, it was crazy. It sunk and everything.

No. That was so funny. They do submarine tours to go see the Titanic rubble. And it costs like a quarter mil a person. Oh, because it's probably pretty deep. Yeah, it's pretty deep and expensive. And the submarine?

Missing. What? That's scary shit. Wait, the submarine that went down to go see the Titanic went missing? Missing. Wait, so the people died? They're looking Wait the submarine That went down To go see the Titanic Went missing Missing It's Wait so the people Died They're looking for the submarine

No they have a submarine They live underwater I don't know how Submarines work I do Cause there was a Cool Wendover video Where he tells you

How it works Titanic tourist Submersible Goes missing With search underway What a terrible way To die What's the date on this

The ocean scares The shit out of me Uh yeah It's fucking It's like the space But with water in it I am also a grown way to die. The ocean scares the shit out of me. Uh, yeah, it's fucking, it's like the space, but I am also a grown man afraid of the ocean. I would quicker go to space than I would do the James Cameron Marina Trench hole thing.

I like still being on Earth. I don't want to be floating around like an asshole. I want to die where I came from. You like land, you mean? Yeah. Because it's all Earth. No, I'm saying if you're going to space and get lost and die,

or go in the water and get lost and die. I'd rather die in the marina trench than in the space. Are there diseases on Mars? I don't think they have bacteria. Can I go to Mars and get Mars COVID? No, because they don't have life. That would be life, right? Yes, life. We'd be really pogged out of our brains if they had life.

Ludwig's right. The only way is maybe there's some thought about maybe stuff being preserved under ice. If we start leaking shit on Mars, maybe. Maybe. Go start COVID on Mars. I mean, we don't know. I guess Buzz Aldrin could have dragged his balls on stuff and maybe just sticks their...

That's where sickness comes from. Dude, Al Pacino coming on Mars and just his cum just becoming like a society. Like Poseidon when he came to the ocean and he birthed... Do you know that? Do you know the horror movie where they're... What's that like kind of new horror movie where they're in the space station and there's that white,

is it new? The white goop in the machine and it like breaks the guy's arm. I don't know. And it's, but it's white and spongy. And I'm just thinking about that whole movie, but instead of an alien, it's out.

Pachino's come. Pachino's come. Yeah. I got a great ass great ass you guys watch heat that's good I've heard he hates good he's amazing and he says that in it and it's he's just on coke the whole movie and they were just like well like he's here actor Al Pacino was on yeah and also the character because diabetes right He has a coke heart And he had diabetes You can only count it as Al Pacino being famous

If you recognize him on coke in street clothes Yeah this movie Life Oh is this spooky bears Al Pacino's cum is going to break his wrist in a second No Al Pacino your cum no Stop Al Pacino

Is it spooky movie bears? It looks spooky movie It tries to be It looks like they kill people On the space station No cause it's just It's goopy It's Al Pacino's calm

It's not that scary There's nothing to be scared of In fact that's a That's a hotbed of life Yeah If you will Keeps giving Or if you won't

No matter Where are we at? Time Time boy Sun setting time boy? We got maybe five, ten. That's insane. That's not true to me.

Okay. Is he right? Is his spidey sense? Ten more. Fuck. Oh, man. I got so much piss in my balls. Why don't you show us what you're working with for once in your fucking life?

That's, first of all, sexual harassment. To who? To talk about the piss in your balls? He said, why don't you show us what you're working with for once? And they pointed at my dick and stared at it the whole time. I did not point at your dick. I've seen it. I've seen it in the onsen.

Come to the onsen. You'll see it. Dude, we were talking about you in the onsen. Yeah, you said I was- Swinging your shit around like- I was not swanging my shit around. Like a dwarven hammer. I was not swinging my shit i was not what was the only thing that i thought was cringe is how you specifically got a piercing before it yeah it's like we get it you think we'll get the gaslight in forever yeah don't worry

kiddo we'll always be like this and one one day, he'll just become diabetic. And it'll be even funnier. And then me and Nick Jonas will have something in fucking common so I can talk to him instead of you guys. No, you don't mean that. There's a depressing show. I forget who it is. But it's like a show that's... I saw a bunch of advertisements for cable TV

because I was getting a manicure pedicure with Cutie. And they just had only commercials playing and they never switched the channel. It was like an infomercial channel. And one of the commercials that came on, uh, I learned about two new shows. The first one is a prank show with Johnny Knoxville and Eric Andre on ABC, which blew my mind because I didn't think they were, uh, cable Andes, but they're back to being cable Andes. You got to work. People got gotta eat. And then the second one was a show

and it's all siblings of famous people. And you have to guess who they are related to. And the host of it is the fourth Jonas brother. Oh, Frankie. And that's how I found out

there's a fourth Jonas brother. They call him the bonus Jonas. And Judy said that exact thing and I said, that's so mean. Well. That's like the there's three of them and one of them is already not good looking it's like the brother and the kardashian yeah and then that's what she said too is the ugly one was

the other host there's a kardashian brother yeah uh yeah chris he's just located i think not really in the show just live in glendale he just lives in Glendale in like a one bedroom and just hangs out he's like he's 1100 a month he's like I do social media right now

but I'm like I got a side project going he works at Starbucks but he like does his ASU degree on the side hey don't make fun of that okay

it's a great education program I didn't say it was bad we were saying the yard live at ASU is a really good idea yeah it would be a really funny idea like yard live at ASU is a really good idea. Yeah. It would be a really funny idea.

Like, that's just hard, bro. It's a tough crowd. Ah, not for us. I mean, we guys didn't do the tours. Would we perform to the school? Yeah, it'd be like a Macklemore show. I don't think we'd want to do that. Can you?

I mean, we did, like, chess boxing at the Galen Center. That's not like performing to the school. Yeah, you would just perform at a local venue. Sure. And it's like presumably most attendees. $10 off for ASU students. Yeah. Student discount.

If you bring two girls, you get it for free. BYOB, girls get it for free. Also, if you're from SAE, you're probably chill. So we get you in there. No Thetas. No Thetas for real at all. No Thetas. No Fijis. No Democrats. you in there no thetas no thanks for real at all no thetas uh no fiji's

when aiden slides into his like freshman year chad like character it's so funny because he knows all this shit that i've never heard and he just he just does it so like clean do you guys have mochis mochis no it's called mochi dude i saw i quarter jade's instagram story she's in japan and she she's like yo if you ever try matcha in japan it's the it's the dopest shit it's so good she's just holding up starbucks and i'm like you went all the way there for the fucking the matcha the starbucks matcha they probably source it i bet's good. But it's just funny because it's like, I guess Nick did the same thing. What did he do? He sought out a blue bottle. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Was it better? It was a good coffee shop. Yeah, it was better. It was better. But it's like, blue bottle's good. It was like when we went to McDonald's, but unironically. We did go to blue. I don't like it here. Really? I like it. No, I don't like it. We did seek out McDonald's and that was also better. The chocolate chicken? That's what I did. I did that in Zurich we did seek out McDonald's, and that was also better. Dude, I- The chocolate chicken? We did it ironically.

I did that in- in Zurich, and I got McDonald's. Because I was like, surely Swiss McDonald's is immaculate. And it was. Zurich, you're fucked. That's a Metal Gear reference. It's not. No, it's from a video he likes. It's from a video.

He does it every time. Of course I know. You know, you know what I mean, man. Is it a Metal Gear impersonation? I am Slime's best friend. Oh, if we did a Slime quiz, I would beat you. Nope course I have. You're not a mean man. Is it a middle-year impersonation? I am Slime's best friend. Oh, if we did a Slime quiz I would beat you. Nope, I would win.

Uh, he doesn't win. I definitely win. Mmm. I can't believe you slept in my closet. Yeah, I still, I think you- You know how many rides

to work I've had with you? Mmm. You just talk about your fucking life and I listen. You talked about your life? Yeah, we both did. We're friends.

Do you remember when your tire popped? Yeah. Me too. We had had exploding tire on the freeway with him once i was like oh that's what that feels like was it well how is it because i'm it's really hard yeah we felt like we ran over like a like a dog like a big rock or a dog made of rocks veering like a rock dog no i mean you definitely don't can drive as well well i would have, but I masterfully sort of steered it perfectly straight. And then when I got us over safely... He pulled over. Well, I got us out of danger's way.

He pulled over. I got us out of danger's way. He pulled over to the side of the road. I pulled over seven lanes without hitting anyone. Seven lane highways? In LA, yeah. You know what I did? It wasn't seven lanes.

Which highway is that? No, it was actually. It wasn't seven lanes, but we were way? No it was actually It wasn't in seven lanes But we were Way in the left What's seven lane highways in LA? Also You know what I liked the most

About riding with Nick In the morning Was his music Cause he would just play music That I like Like that's how I started Listening to Comethazine And I was like

I was like this is good A fresh 9am Comethazine Yeah It really wakes you up It's like a It's like a shower beer For your ears. Dude, you ever have just a fucking coke in the shower?

I'm not. I'm unironically. You ever have a cold drink in the shower? Yeah. R slash straight edge memes is going hard right now. I've had a beer in the shower. Was it cold? Yeah, of course. It hits fucking differently. It's like a cold drink in a jacuzzi.

It's like that. It's like, whoa. it's like a cold drink in a jacuzzi. It's like that. It's like, whoa. I've never been in that. Maybe this is a thing. I've never done that. Dipper 3 does this. This is a thing. This is absolutely a thing. She's like,

I love a shower coke. Yeah. What? You guys are fucking slaves to corn syrup. This is crazy. And then you drink it and it's not the sugar.

It's the coldness contrasting the hot environment. Oh, okay. That's the nice part. I've never drank in a drink in the shower in my whole life. Dude, go crack a spindrift in the shower. I've done shower beer.

Spindrift. Popsicle shower. Popsicle shower. With your bad self. There's the guy on Twitter who just has shower food and rates it. That's different. That guy eats like Parmesan cheese. It's like a rotisserie chicken.

I think it started with shower coke, and I think he went down a slippery slope he can't get out of for content. It's a gateway. It's a gateway. It is a gateway. A Slurpee's not the same, though. I wouldn't want a Slurpee in the shower but it is colder we should have done a show in the onsen with our dicks out yeah we should we just no we should do it because you know how you're

supposed to carry the towel around yeah in front of you we could do it towel towel small tower covering penis and we sit on the side of the onsen i'm surprised logan paul never ventured there yeah like he said it's gay he would do the suicide forest before the onsen. I'm surprised Logan Paul never ventured there. Yeah. He said it's gay, bro. He went to the suicide forest before the onsen. Yeah, because it's like walking around like horrible death is way cooler than being gay. Well, I'm filming dead guy. I'm not filming fucking gay people. I'm filming penises.

I actually just saw a Nelk clip about this unironically. And it's the Nelk boys interviewing Theo Vaughn. And they're talking about how how Logan was unfairly canceled. And the main Nelk boy is like, yeah, I didn't really give a shit. And I'm like, are we? This is not a controversial thing to take a stance on. He filmed a dead body. I think the left and right were agreeing at that time.

We all came together and all said that. I want to say that it wasn't that fucking big of a deal, dude. It was a nice bipartisan moment. And the fucking Nelk boys are like, yeah, we should be able to fucking do a pod with, like, these fucking dead bodies. Well, that's Nelk, bro. You know, like, when they take... They say shit other people won't. They just tell the truth.

They say what everybody's thinking. They're like Joe Rogan. Telling, debate me pussy to like doctors And they're like I don't want to do that Like the make America great again Pat there, it's the toys yeah, yeah Huge for Shinzo around like actually that shit was raw come American after Shinzo gosh I was rocking that I actually think that shit was raw. Come American.

After Shinzo got shot, everyone was rocking that. I think an American survives that gun. Oh, yeah. I take that gun and I'm like, this is nothing. Yeah, because sometimes the shorty takes two shots. You're not talking about eugenics of being able to take bullets. It's not eugenics. You're an idiot. That's just normal genetics.

No, this is Darwinism. In America, the people who survive gun blast to take bullets. It's not eugenics. You're an idiot. That's just normal genetics. No, this is Darwinism. In America, the people who survive gun blasts are the only ones left. Yeah. Sorry, you should give me that fucking Lego gun.

I'm easy. I'm good. Don't just say words that you think you know what they mean. He would also be a better Japanese Prime Minister.

Look, I'd hate to wrap this up quickly, but I have to go play with my new stack. And Valorant. Who's your new stack? My new stack. Yiggling. Yiggling, part of the old stack.

Okay. And Pokimane. What? Because she DM'd me after I replied to her. No way! She wants to play with you? No, she didn't reply at all. Oh!

Damn, I thought it was so funny she didn't reply. Yeah, she has no reason to. You know what I realized when I replied to the tweet because it popped up on my timeline was I didn't follow her. Somethings truly just never change. They never change. I played Pokey and I fucking fragged out.

Really? I dropped like a 33. You played with Pokey but not with me. I dropped like a 33 kill Stack of them So all of this stuff about I don't like your I don't like your Elo Okay, if we have to do it all nothing you're playing with that and I dragged over her No, but the principal games But the principal- In both games.

You don't play with your friends. You say you want to play with people in high rank, you'll get carried. I was playing with Lily Peachu. He's obviously playing with clouded fucking five stack, right? I'm not his- I'll bring a shit player if you play with me. I don't do Gucci shoots.

I don't go to Paris Fashion Week and get paid- That's what I'm saying. To post hot photos of myself, Ludwig. Even though I would like that. Even though I'd like to do that instead of sitting next to you. He'd like that. Can I reach across the aisle and tell you really why

why this is gonna hurt your feelings are you sure you wanna hear it yes I hate when he says that what I think your skill oh

is a little worse than your rank oh I just don't think that's true. And with that, we'll go to the premium episode so we can hash that one out. We'll hash that one out. That's a meme. No, it's like... Let's go to the premium episode.

If you want to go to the premium, patreon.com slash the yard. Thank you for watching The Yard this week. Goodbye. Goodbye, man.