The Yard - Ep. 102 - We made a sex toy...

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

This week, the boys talk about Vidcon, setting the record straight about the last episode, and how frats help Greece's economy...

🎵 Don't do it upside down, that's bad. Oh! Hey! That was so cool. Popping champs, bitch! The perfect amount came out. My fucking pants, my cool pants. It's like when you. The perfect amount came out. My fucking pants. My cool pants.

It's like when you pop champagne and some comes out, but that's like part of the fun. And then you drink it. That was, that was. It's like pre-cum. It's an explosive drink. It's like, it actually kind of is like pre-cum. What are we celebrating now that he did that? Is it Aiden's outfit?

We're not celebrating that. We're celebrating my outfit that I got. We don't want it. What? This outfit. Let's talk about why we should or shouldn't do that. It looks like the bag that those clothes came in. Yeah, I repurposed it.

That's funny. That's a big one. That's a big one for one. I can't watch all the pod. Look what you're fucking wearing. I'm wearing the merch that you made and you sell. I'm wearing your merch. Say how you feel about it.

Your life's work right here. Not selling. Not selling? Not a single tweet from this man's account. Hey, I want you to get off your fucking ass, boy. Hey, where are the assets that you forgot to do? What do you mean I forgot to do? I mean, I nixed you up with a cameraman.

You forgot to get the cameraman. Oh, is that a wedding, dude? Oh, I'm sorry. Does love interrupt the market? Also that you blew off, that you blew off that you originally said you wouldn't even be available for. You were, you said that you weren't even going to be available for your own merch shoot. I said I wasn't available and then you said, I'm sorry, I got Yingo and me. We can do a little photo shoot. Did you? Yeah. No. And then we didn't do that.

While we're on the top of the shoot. You did say it and then didn't do it. Yeah. So what do you got to replace the stapler every once in a while? Stapler? We're talking about work stuff, so. What is that? It's like the office stapler. Okay, you're just office stuff? I'm doing office stuff. You're doing office comedy?

Yes. He's trying to figure out the bit as if it wasn't like already there for us to understand. So we're in the cubicle. Right. Who? Us. Okay, we are. No, we weren't.

There's no cubicle. We're going to start. So Aiden, you are at your desk. And Slime, desk and slime you are in boss and Aiden is wearing that to work Yeah, is it let me get into my costume Ludwig? Okay, so what about what are we doing here? Hey? Hey? Hey, boss. Nice to see you. You were late today. I know it's your second time this week, and it's Monday, so it's hard for that to happen. I'll fucking kill you. Who are you?

Who are you in this scene? What's up? I'm your right-hand man. Okay, so you are the assistant to the regional manager. You are the manager. I'll fucking kill you, bitch. Hey, I just hired this guy. Great guys from New Jersey.

This is how they are. I sling dick. He slings they are. I sling dick. He slings, yes. You sling dick? I never pump my own gas, bitch. Yeah, okay. Can I talk to Rob quick? Go ahead, boss.

Sorry, boss. Is there a problem? There is, yes. Thank you so much for asking. You relate twice, and also you came wearing that. He's going to hiss. He likes that. You would get him on a spreadsheet? is unreal he is so gifted what animal are you so you were a ghoul and I'm a dog

So he's great, but let's explain why are you wearing with this please explain it to me. Yeah, it's casual Friday It's not it's Monday. I like I said that you were late on a Monday the same time Susan said that we move casual Fridays to Mondays to keep up with it I want to see what it looks like when you unzip show me what you look like yeah can you unzip your shirt sorry I'm sorry unzip the shirt that you're wearing to reveal another you're wearing a shirt that like prostitutes would wear to undress quicker yeah you're very efficient suckin fuck you're looking gift it always works better un. You're like a gift wrapped

It almost works better unzipped I think. A gift wrapped putana. You know what would be sick? If he had a nipple hole cut out in the second shirt. Yeah. Yeah.

And he unzipped it and he didn't say a word about it the whole day. That would be insane. Man. That would be the funniest thing you ever did. So what's up boss?

Okay. End scene. We gotta work on this workplace environment david schwimmer would have a field day yeah david schwimmer would eat like a buffet you're saying that you're saying that he'd love to harass our employees yeah there's a lot of but it's open season here it's open season there's so much but we're fawn and he and it's like a buffet and he's getting the eggs there's lawsuits

left and right at this company we when aiden got here he said that he bought these pants because he thought it would be funny to wear on the podcast and then he said what's the funniest shirt that i have to go with this and he chose the prostitute shirt yeah so i think that by the court of law and by my weird haircut, I deem Aiden funny. I'm going to call it Cope. I'm going to call it Cope. Cope? Cope.

Oh. Because I think he'll wear these again and again and again and again without the pod. But how is it different from what you do? Because you're wearing Crocs with feet painted on them. I just wear this because I fucking like looking like shit. That's it. We're in like the upside down world of the yard. Tomorrow. He's all fucking weird.

You're all purple. He has hair. I'm flying as hell. I don't know. I'm just doing my thing. By the time this pod comes out, I've already announced my croc partnership too. What? I got my croc deal. No shit. What is the deal? Do you get like a Ludwig croc? You know this.

No, I don't know the specifics. Oh, I get a pack of gibbets. That they're going to sell? Instead of money? They're like licensed? Do they accept gibbets as currency? Are gibbets the new gold coin? It's my big deal.

I get a pack of gibbets. Yeah. And if I hold on to them for a while, they might mint. They might get in value. Yeah. When the Fed collapses, the gibbets will be our currency for the new society. I'll be trading gibbets for bread. From the ashes.

This is my path to getting my own crock. So you gotta start at gibbets, they don't give you a crock right away? You gotta work up. It's a corporate ladder and it is long. Do you think Ninja could get a crock? Fuck no. Not today. Not today.

2018 Ninja. Oh my god. You got Adidas shoes. You know that? I did this. He was the only Ninja. Oh my God. He got Adidas shoes. You know that? I did this. He was the only neighbor ever to check Nike. Literally. In the gamer.

Well, in the gamer hood. He was the only neighbor to check Nike. At the State Farm shoot, everyone had to have an outfit chosen for them. Ninja worked out that he'd wear his own merch and his own shoes. Whoa. And he was just wearing Ninja. That's tight. And my ass was wearing Banana Republic.

You weren't wearing Mogul Mood. No. Jeez he was just wearing Ninja. That's tight. And my ass was wearing Banana Republic. You weren't wearing Mobile Mood. No. Jesus, man. I'd be wearing this on Gamer Neighborhood. No, you would. You would not. I'd be looking fly on Gamer Neighborhood. It's called a Gamerhood. You know, he would go on Gamer Neighborhood and he would look fly. Gamer Neighborhood.

The Gamer Neighbors. He would look fly. Everyone would make fun of him, but then he wouldn't make friends with everyone. And he'd be going to the cafe with Ninja next week. Yes, sir. Yeah, probably. So that's why he's my goat now. He has only friends, no best friends.

Unfortunately, we're his best friends. I hate to say it, but we are. We're deciding that for him as well. Like, we have to be. He's in your pyramid? Do I have a pick? Yeah, he is. It's for him as well. Like, we have to be. He's in your pyramid? Do I have a pick? Yeah, he is. It's kind of like family.

Like, you have to bring... You're my best friend. One of my best friends. I have a circle. Why'd you correct? Because you're not my best friend. My best friend's name is Eric. He's a school teacher.

I grew up with him. He's not. Safe answer, safe answer. Someone outside the circle. Easy. Yeah. Pussies. My best friend?

Well, Jesus Christ, for one. Sure. Yeah. True. Not mine. A close second. Okay. answer safe answer someone outside the circle yeah easy yeah pussies my best friend well jesus christ for one sure yeah true god a close second okay we'll age us uh and mary mary coming in third he's not catholic he's christian protestant also protestant you can't be friends with women so it's true was it we have a podcast you got to get with the meta. I, look, I guess you're right. Let's talk about women for a bit. Oh. Actually, speaking of women. We can talk about women.

Oh. Well, well, well. All right. Would you look? Would you look at this? Hey, guys. Welcome to my channel. I'm just gonna do a quick unboxing of the Amaranth.

Yeah, so. What is it? Zipper is just gonna cut to the overhead view real quick that we set up in advance so we can... Archie, can you blur everything here? No, you don't have to blur the front, Archie. I don't even know if that's right. Why would we hide this? The successful entrepreneurial woman that we've supported through thick and thin.

First note... It's like looking at the Statue of Liberty. It kind of is. It's breathtaking is the Statue of Liberty was the same You think the Statue of Liberty is breathtaking Yeah, like you went to see it you went to New York. I find all women breathtaking Yeah, so I'm sorry. What do you think about that? I don't think that you don't think that i think i think that not all women are breathtaking you know what it's a very unwoke position to take and i applaud you for different than you i'm not scared of the woke army go woke but go broke it's what i said rosa parks yo okay all right so we got past that

finally the podcast is surmounted to that moment. Tell me how it works. Well, I wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. We can't show it. We can't have this on the screen. Why not? We had a Sibian on the

screen. We didn't get demonetized. Did it not? No. Can we tell the audio listeners? Oh, sorry. Audio listeners. So some of you who have listened for a long time may recall a joke from a long time ago about making an amaranth canister stroker.

Yeah. And the sketch of her being a foreman at a factory and reprimanding Connor for not working hard enough. Connor eat pant. Connor eat pant. Yeah. And after a long, long wait, apparently takes a really long time to get a sex toy made. Okay. We have developed the Amaranth Assistant, a canister strober.

It was our play tester. Yeah. Nobody played test anything. He found an exploit where you could get like unlimited lumber. So that was, so that's out

of that patched out. This took like one brick. It looks like a thermos. One sheep, one granite to make. That looks like a thermos. I think we need a new, we need a new disguise

for the pocket pussy equivalent. Cause like for, for ages we've hid them as flashlights. But now I see a flashlight and I think it's a pocket pussy equivalent. Because like for ages we've hid them as flashlights. But now I see a flashlight and I think it's a pocket pussy.

Yeah that's that's a tough thing to deal with. I do remember the first. If I see like a flashlight looks like that I'm like is

that a pocket pussy? Well you're like I I'd fuck that. I'd fuck that thing. I'd get all up in there. When we got the test product at the

old house I remember me and Nick were in the office and We're like when cutie comes home. Let's trick her into thinking. It's a coffee cup They spin back at the is on the espresso She lifts it up, opens it up. Oh my god. Did she like let it yelp? This is very funny. But yeah, this is obviously very late. And I can't imagine our audience has an incredible amount of crossover with the audience that wants to buy this. Speaking of, we're going to do a giveaway.

Lightly used. Everyone in the Patreon, you know, we're not checking ages. We're just... We're gonna do a giveaway. Lightly used. Everyone in the Patreon, uh, you know, we're not checking ages, we're just- We're checking ages! The website very specifically checks ages! Alright, we're checking ages, apparently, and- Hey, hey, wink. Hey, we're gonna- we're gonna check some ages in there, right? Right? Right? You are too old to be saying this.

This flies in the 1821. We're checking ages. I'm not- you're not 30 yet? What is it? If you are not 18 please don't go look at it or buy it. Please for the love

of God. Don't look at it. Avert your eyes. Avert your eyes. We do got young viewers too. I'll tell you I went to my back

from VidCon. A lot of young yard listeners. How was that? Stop listening. Stop listening. We don't want you to listen by the way.

We don't like you. Ludwig specifically said it We are the three of us secret talks about not liking Maddie. We were cool. I thought you're cool. Oh, so you're cool with a minor Yeah, I'm cool Maddie the minor. I didn't call her mad She yearned for the mines so she started working there. Well, how was it gone VidCon was tiring? started working there. How was VidCon? VidCon was tiring.

Well, yeah, you got worked like a cattle. I did get worked like cattle. And it turns out VidCon also kind of lame. No. I think so, compared to TwitchCon. It feels like every influencer who's there did not want to be there. What is VidCon for? Video conferences.

So it's Zoom. It was made by Hank Green and John Green, the Vlogbrothers, one of whom is a famous author you might have heard of. Yeah, and also he got, his posts made Tumblr reblogs change the rules. You couldn't do it anymore. They took a John Green post, and instead of him saying whatever he said, someone reblogged it and changed the words to, cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. And it's this whole paragraph those

are the first two sentences about how he much loves like like hot salty loads in his mouth right and after that happened it got so popular and funny tumblr changed the rule so you couldn't reblog other people's posts to make it look like twitter changed that rule this is like i think around a similar time this is the og version of Twitter now, like when they had people be verified accounts, like fake verified accounts. I think I called that out too as it happened. Yeah, it makes me go crazy on it, to be honest. So this is the whole...

The cotton pasta. Wow. Because his name was Fishing Boat Proceeds, which is a tax form thing. I know all of it. Anyway, sorry. Wow, okay, you're heavy. I didn't know you knew a YouTuber.

What can I say? I don't. I know him from this.'re watching we're in the office watching sabroza on the big screen and anthony was like why does he keep talking like this just talk normal and he's like he's like he's not like this normally and last week he came into the office and he was like who is this? He didn't know who Subroza was a week ago. And now he's an intimate enough relationship that he can tell when he's talking weird. I'm glad you and Subroza have gotten so close over the years. I haven't watched him since that last week.

But when I noticed him last, I just assumed he didn't talk like that. So crazy he keeps switching up. So they sold this. They sold this VidCon to some company who produces it. It's been like The YouTube event For a long time But last year

YouTube didn't sponsor it Because I think They were going to Make their own TikTok sponsored it It was all TikTokers This year YouTube's like You know what

Making our own's kind of hard Are you good? You're dinging over here It's my one You're dinging How about you turn that shit off Because we have a job to do It's work time

Work time It's work time Unzip that shit Unzip that shit It's work time Time to get to work. And I want it all. Yeah, boss. You know he's a good employee.

I'm all fucked up under there. It's YouTube again and I went and you know what I found out? There's a lot of fucking YouTubers. Too many goddamn YouTubers. They had like this little Hyatt Reg YouTubers. They had like this little Hyatt Regency.

It's like this fancy ass Hyatt that they bought the entirety of rented it out for the weekend. It was only YouTubers in it who have like at least 100K.

Oh my God. That subscribers. Yeah. I don't recognize anyone. That would be like the best use of a missile all time.

What? Why? To kill them all? Yeah. Killing every YouTuber. Yeah. You know, Drew Gooden probably didn't go. He was there. Really? Yes. Then it would not, killing every YouTuber. Really? Yeah. There's- You know, Drew Gooden probably didn't go.

He was there. Really? Yes. Then it would not be cool. Oh. He was there. He's my favorite YouTuber. And I was gonna say hi, but I didn't get to say hi, which was a bummer.

Bummer. I know, I was bummed. What? Are the cons dead? I- E3 is fucked. E3 is fucked. Uh, RTX?

Blahblahblahblah. Uh, VidCon? Uh huh. People finally realized that- Anime Expo's still poppin'. TwitchCon's also poppin'. The weebs- The weebs don't quit.

TwitchCon's doin' deece. don't quit TwitchCon's doing deece What do you think it is? You had a theory Brewing just now Because people are realizing That there is nothing To do at conventions That is my theory

If there's not mail-in What are you doing? I feel like the appeal Of Anime Expo is like Things you buy Yes it is That's why it's insane You're paying

A giant ticket price To go to a convention So you can buy more things you're basically going to frankincense you're basically going to meet other people who also like the thing you like that you've met online so you can hang out with cosplay i guess that's the only that's the only appeal of a convention i think i really understand is for most people like if you have some sort of if you have some sort of interest like anime you have this one like pinnacle event for the year that you can go to as an excuse to like hang out with

other people yeah but in terms of content at the convention itself for what you can do and how you spend your time i think conventions have always been like pretty soulless to me i think youtube is too big it's too many people yeah i think the big differentiator is products because i'm even thinking of conventions that aren't for creators, like Cinegear Expo, which is like film stuff. You just go to see new products. Yeah, you want to see what the new Lamborghini camera is. It's like, yo, cool, they put a fucking camera on a shark.

You go there and network like a jerk-off and shit, right? Yeah. No, not real heads. That's what I'm saying, but that's the idea. Oh, but maybe the most. But you could beat. Yeah. That's what Adobe Max is for.

And you beat off with your friends. Adobe Max is so cringe. Holy. You go and the company you work for is on your badge, and people will either want to talk to you or not want to talk to you depending on what your badge says. That's social credit score. It's crazy. Let's go to Adobe Max with the yard and see.

And like Linus. And sell that. Yeah. We actually produce sell that. Yeah. We actually produce sex toys. No, no, see, we have a podcast. You're our yard no loads refuse at the booth. That's what you should have done.

You should have kept him at the VidCon booth instead of merch and clothes and all that dumb shit. It's Aiden in that shirt. In a glory hole. And zero refusal for sure i just said go ahead i believe i believe you said there are a lot of miners there thank you yep that is obviously check ids we'll check like play some minecraft too like maddie healy when he's like there was this video of him like getting like giving a kiss to a girl for the first time at a concert.

And he's like sitting there like reading her ID really carefully before he does this. And I'm like, this isn't hype. It's weird. This is weird. But it wouldn't be weird with Aiden. It wouldn't. Because his body doesn't quit. His body doesn't quit.

Yeah. And Matty Healy's does. I'm like Matty Healy's, which does quit. And he has bad teeth. Aiden's teeth are nicer. Well. They're nicer Well They're nicer They are nicer

I'll give him that Well They got the one big one What I What I also found out The one big one So I asked everyone Who had any

Sort of yard merch on And by the way This con Mostly women Okay Mostly women at this con That's like the attendees And the gays

Women and the gays Women and the gays Okay Crushed this I would say 70% Wow I have a question about this

but keep going Prezzo doing 30 minutes at VidCon why do you because I've noticed that like at your live events and things like that the

the gender split is much more even compared to the actual split for viewership online we've talked about this why do you think that is me and Connor theorized I thought for a long time it's because guys are lazy which they are yeah i think they're

lazier but connor brought up a really good point that uh girls uh are generally down to be fans of stuff and like you know talk to other people and be like yeah i'm a fan of this you're a fan of this cool we should hang out and be fans of this together but guys like to think they're above being a fan of anything and they they'll be a fan they'll do everything a fan does but like they'll pretend they're not a fan yeah and if pressed will even like pretend they're a like never don't even know about it or or like fake it and i think there's like an element gay if you went to the ludwig booth exactly even though you've seen every ludwig video that's why the gay people are cool going.

Dude, this is a true theory, and let me tell you why. Because when I was a very little kid, I was eight years old, I loved Weird Al Yankovic. I was ten, maybe. He does parody songs for the Zoomers. Yeah, you don't need to... Okay, thank you. You're explaining... Oh, for the... Oh, okay.

I see. Think about it. They don't know shit. Unless Weird Al got big on TikTok, no one knows. He's like Ludwig with hacks, but for boomers. Yeah, exactly. I'm the Weird Al Yankovic of the new era. Yes, you are.

You are Jewish. So he was like... My mother. Got it from her. So I really liked him, and I liked all the songs, and there was a concert in nevada and i was with my dad in the summer and i was like dad there's a weird owl concert i saw it and i was like i want to go let's go and he's like okay let's go like my dad's down like fuck

it i'll take my kid to see a show and uh and then like two days before the show i get cold feet because i'm like i don't want to go and he's like why i was like i'm afraid that no one else will be there and it'll be like basically the eight the 10 year old equivalent like cringe like i was afraid that it'll only be weird you would weird out it would be like and it would be like weird that not a lot of people like weird out because i like well it would be gay to be a fan of that yeah you know essentially right and he's like that's dumb, but okay. We don't have to go and then we didn't Wow, so you're right I think I'm right about this Yeah, I think that I think that makes sense

You always talked about me not watching any media as a kid Which is you know true maybe cuz you're on Skype and playing Wii yeah sport But that's weird out was one one thing I watched I had a DVD with like an hour plus of Weird Al music videos that I watched over and over and I watched it at my friend's house a bunch because he had it and then I listened to Weird Al's music all the time so there you go

and then you listen to real versions later on in your life and you're like oh that's really funny to think about yeah that's why I've always thought I've had this inverted perspective of life. I listened and watched all the parody shit before the actual source material. So I just live in the upside down. When I found out White and Nerdy was not the original.

I'm saying. Yeah. Took me back. I also went through that. You're like, oh, fuck me. They're writing dirty? What? That can't be the case.

It's too dangerous. There should be a lawsuit somewhere. So, yeah. So, how else was VidCon? I asked every Yard member who they would kill. Oh, nice. And the stats went... What?

What? No, these are... Remember, these are Ludwig fans. Like, right? Oh. You know? No one's going to say Ludwig to him. They're too afraid.

Who is your guess? Let's go around. Who do you think? I asked probably about 10 to 15 people. I think it's me. It's me. I think number one is Aiden. I think number two is me.

I think number three is Slime. I think number four is you. So nobody was exempt. Everybody was named. Everyone got a clip. Everybody got a clip. The most kills was me. That surprises me.

I don't know. It was the highest kill rate. By a little margin. Number two, Aiden. No way! I am such a fan. No, how do I say it? It was about a tie.

You guys each had like one or two hey Shaq and Kobe boom I will say the people who wanted to kill you both said it like really quick strong muscles

really like when I asked and it would be like me or him it would be like and then if I was like who do you want to kill I was like slime

slime slime slime dude I'm so I'm such a hit with the gays well I didn't tell you who wanted to kill you yeah I think that I am so I'm such a hit with the gays um well I didn't tell you that's a reach yeah I think that oh so math wise this is incorrect

majority gays and women 70% at VidCon name three guys you know what he is right Tom Ford the two that wanted to kill you were guys that's what I'm saying they're threatened by me maybe it's a threatened thing yeah the straights are threatened by my energy i don't fucking know yeah you're getting there no that's also one other conclusion i came to a vidcon is that dream is popular dream

he's popular was he there no oh yeah yeah yeah so he was there did he have the mask the mask was he mask off or fucking mask on? He was fucking mask on with an entourage of people. And there was also some... Dude, he used to do the MF Doom thing where he just sends someone else in the mask. Boom. I think he will do that. That's awesome.

I think that's where he will go. That's what Marshmallow does. Yeah. He just has a guy show up to appearances. Well, hold on. That guy's a big Marshmallow. He's busy. Wait, so did he have like a

Saudi entourage as well? Like the same people that defend oil like princes? It's just with fucking machine guns and rocket launchers. Strict VidCon rule, you cannot walk on the floor as a creator without some sort of security with you. Wow. Broke it day one.

You did? Yes. What was your security three email well there's actually like a bunch of people in suits that were supposed to walk you around that were just waiting wasn't this a rule in reaction to the logan paul fountain thing from a few years ago yes i think it was in reaction yeah because he would run and then people would chase him yeah and there's like this old video of logan pa Logan Paul pre-controversy back in like Logan Paul viral Facebook video era. Did he film a dead person at the fountain? Yeah, he killed like a couple fans.

I think Ludd could take a pretty large amount of VidCon fans. It's just how many. It'd be like Nazi zombies. He gets to like round 13. You just gotta kite. I'm k cutting the ads. Get them. It's like VidCon is like where anyone can be Austin Power.

That's kind of fun. What does that mean? What does that mean in this case? In the beginning when they're chasing him and shit. Oh, okay. Oh, I see. Yeah, right. I know this is stupid because obviously obviously things have changed but i did have

this weird feeling when somebody somebody added the yard like all of us and was like hey are you guys coming to vidcon like can't wait to see you guys like saw you on like a program or something and i was like how would they want to see me oh and then like not not in like a self-deprecative way it was just like oh that's weird like i'm not a vidcon guy but that's that's that's like a weird change in circles a lot of me and slime were we're without saying anything too specific we were labbing it out in the dms while i was in new york we were like seeing things people were saying to you on twitter and being like why are they talking like this why are they why do they behave this way are they our fans why would they make this interaction in this situation like what does this say to them online?

And then in person, we were just doing this like... It was like random people who were like meeting him and posting photos and talking like... We were trying to get inside the mind of a carjacker. Talking like aliens sent to Earth who had to act human. Because he's Weird Al. And you want a picture with Weird Al? Okay, this is great. This is really funny, guys.

Who wants to tell the people? Come on. So we are recording there's a good reason please it's time for us to talk and not you to talk we're recording this a day after the main episode of the podcast you might see we're wearing different outfits actually kind of confirms that we're recording later some clothes so i'm wearing different aiden aiden you're you're close so but before that let's let about MeUndies, the sponsor of today's podcast. And MeUndies, they're great.

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This is so cute. They look great. They feel great.ies on. Okay. Martini. And that's so cute, right? This is so cute. They look great. They feel great. Give them a 360. 360 degrees. Wow. They look comfy. They're soft.

Sit down. Put your pants up. Monthly shipments right to your door. Options. You got undie socks, bralettes. Why do I recognize these ones? Yeah, because that's the same pair of underwears that he wore yesterday. No, I have two pairs of them.

I have two pairs. They sent two pairs of the martini ones. Two pairs of the martini ones. Two days in a row? Yeah. One pair of office. Two pairs of the martini ones. Two days in a row? They sent them to the office. One pair to the office. One pair to the house.

One pair to the office. One pair to the house. They actually specifically don't send us the same pair twice. Don't send you the same pair because E.U.D. has so much variety. They don't need to do that. No, they send you the same pair every time because they have a lack of variety. No, they don't do that. They actually send an email to us and they never do that. And they say interesting styles and patterns each month that are never duplicated.

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It's circumsagial. It's circumsagial. Plus free shipping. It's circumsagial. You go to meundies.com slash zipper. Zipper got in on this one.

Zipper's getting a cut of this. It's meundies.com slash zipper. And Aiden, you should actually use it. That way you can wear different pairs of underwear. I slept over. I slept over.

We got to commend him for how much he cares about the environment, that he won't wash his underwear and he eats his boogers. Yeah. Did you sniff test him before putting them on or did you just keep them on? It does smell like a grilled onion and cheese sandwich in here. All right. Well, thanks. Let's get back to the episode where it goes back in time one day where he's still wearing

the same. And you will eventually take these off, which is a spoiler for the episode. That's kind of fun. So enjoy. A lot of people are bummed we didn't do the yard live. Sorry, we didn't do the yard live. It's all right. We canceled a few weeks before or maybe a couple of weeks.

We had some changes. Are we trying to lie? I'm not going to lie. A couple of weeks. A couple of weeks, right? I think it was a couple of weeks. It was. It was trying to lie? A couple weeks. A couple weeks, right? It was like six days, right? No. It was actually a couple weeks.

Yeah, it was a couple weeks. That's a real answer. It might have been 10 days. That's what I think it is, 10 days. Can we say why? Yeah, we can say why. The reason was because we had an hour slot, and the communication for like production and how it was meant to go was like a little sparse

so we were nervous because we didn't get to control that that our first live show would suck yeah i just wanted to be special they printed out and this is no fault of theirs the pamphlet and like all the stuff with what was the schedule before we can't make sense said the yard live yes that makes sense so it said said The Yard Live. Yes. That makes sense. Wow. So it said The Yard Live. I'm surprised they got the title right.

On like the physical side. I'm surprised it wasn't Ludwig's panel featuring four losers. That's why I wasn't annoyed when I kept getting questions and shit. It's like,

is this happening? It's like, something must have happened and I was like, I will, you know, just set the record straight like, oh, it's not. So we'll do it at some point, but we didn't do it do it VidCon sorry. Yeah, we got stuff in the in the in the pipeline

I was mostly poop we got stuff in the in the amaranth assistant this yeah, the sewer was working hard this weekend Get it ready pull it up again. What you're at the blurred again. Oh come on. She shouldn't said that you work out for once It's already blurred on the box. Make it hard on Archie and throw it to Nick, and then he has to track it when it falls across. Do it, do it, do it, do it. Whoa, what's up, Archie? Wait, move your arm so it like... Look at him move it.

Yeah, where's it going? Sorry, Archie, is it 5 a.m. right now? I'm also making the track hard. I'm also making the track hard. He just puts a black screen. That says, fuck you all. Good luck. Oh, kickflip it?

Okay, sit and kickflip. It's durable. With soot a kickflip. So that was VidCon. I met someone from Make-A-Wish too. Oh yeah. I think I said this before. It's not just terminal people. Yes.

This is not a joke question. I have a real question. Is the person from Make-A-Wish do they have like hospital stuff with them? Are they like hooked up to stuff or are they like just a person They're just a human. They're not like wearing a gown. In my head it's like they're in a gown and they have like it's like the Black Parade

music video. Yeah. They're not on death's door waiting for my chemical romance to showed up they're they're just humans who were sick or maybe are sick who signed up for make a wish and get a wish yeah and i think the wish i didn't know about it till like the week of you can go it's like oh you're gonna be with a few families i'm like oh, stressful. I don't know how to make sure it's a worthwhile experience. You got it. And so then we're driving up to the place, and I just came from a panel. And Dingo's like, yeah, a couple families dropped. It's just two now.

I'm like, they dropped? I don't like that. I was like, what do you mean they dropped? Why did they drop? I realize as I'm walking, this is not for me. Like, it is for me, but i think the wish is like i want to be a youtuber or something like that so they go to vidcon they get an all-access vidcon pass and then there's a list of influencers who are at vidcon and it's like i want to meet bing bing bing

bing bing yeah and then they ask influencer if they want to do they can do it but i think i'm like in a slew i'm in i'm in the pile of slop with other people yeah you're in the trough i'm in the trough yummy slop and uh and trough. Yummy slop for you. And so I go in and it's two families. They're very sweet. We play Uno. Imagine they weren't. They dust me.

But I could tell, like, there was a girl in a wheelchair. It was like her make a wish. But she wasn't like, I don't feel like she recognized me or like, you know, watched me. But her dad was like, dude, my brother loves your stuff. Oh, no. I don't like that. I was like, you know, watch me. But her dad was like, dude, my brother loves your stuff. Oh, no. And I was like, I don't like that. I was like, that's dope. And he was like, yeah, it's great, man. It's great.

I got the feeling that the father. I don't like that at all. Honey, honey, get out of the wheelchair. Let me sit in there for a while. They were incredibly sweet. Son, take off the Batman costume and give it to me. It's a holy, holy costume and give it to me. It's a holy potatoes Batman to me. Also, what is the guy that does this?

The Make-A-Wish stuff. What does that question mean? Do you think there's a mascot? Yeah. Do you think there's like a Grimace equivalent for Make-A-Wish? Is there like a big cheetah? The Make-A-Wish cheetah? It's a Grimace equivalent for Make-A-Wish. Is there like a big cheetah? The Make-A-Wish cheetah? It's still Grimace.

And he's yet to pick up more ships. And they pay McDonald's to license him? Yeah. Oh, what a roundabout thing. Yo, there's a mascot in Japan for deporting foreign foreigners. Yeah, his name's Mario Mario. Can you look up Japan deport deport refugee mascot is he cute yeah really cute yeah and i'll go to schools and it'll be like refugees are scared

dude that is insane deport deport and they all chant it in japanese for vitcon what was the uh was the best part of it the middle part of it and the worst part of it for you uh while zipper pulls that up okay all right real quick best part meeting people people were nice everyone was sweet i had zero bad interactions yeah zilch with the viewers yeah middle part was like the panels they feel strung together by by by a shoe string and one email yeah with hey this is the panel this is the group and then everyone showed up not really not a shoe string a horse barrel and a son of a bitch hey man tan your backside horse part was people coming up to me who were not viewers in the behind areas like we're only like hey

industry people have access or youtubers have access some of the youtubers are nice or whatever but like i had a bunch of like vc types come up you know a couple like trying to build a couple yeah we're harvard dropouts and working on this scalable crypto solution and we're thinking we can tap into the live stream viewer base can you hit hear our pitch for a bit and it's like it's like i got 20 minutes for lunch like you're killing me that's this is uh that's that's what networking is it sucks did you say yes to anything no i said no I they went through their whole pitch about the scalable solution about a viewer funded thing. That's better than crypto Oh, it's the very end there like what do you think and I was like I was like uh yeah, I wouldn't use it

And they're like why I don't like being view funded I think it's dumb I make millions from YouTube like Okay That's so cool. Okay, bitch, you weren't even hot anyway. Dude, I would love to just follow Ludwig around being like, yeah. You heard what he just said to you? It was no. That's how I feel when we play Valorant and he snaps at teammates that are being dicks. Because finally I'm not the guy he's trying to cool off.

I get to be in the backpack like, yeah, get him. He thinks you suck. Sometimes I get mad be in the backpack like, yeah, get him! He thinks you suck! Sometimes I get mad at him. And it's scalable, so we should actually do it. It's a scalable solution. Did they get the AI or the web for it?

Zipper said he couldn't find mascots for deportation, but he found prison mascots. You know what? Let's bring up the prison mascots. That one is a tomato. That's so cute.

It is really cute. It says Wakapi. And it has a W on the mouth and a P on the belly. It's for a women's prison. For notorious inmates. Okay. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, that's a police officer who has a beehive for a head. Ah, Nipo-kun, I've come to send you to the death sentence today. Wait. Why do they have mascots for the jails? You will eat gruel and live in isolation forever. Okay, this one's a little angry. He looks like a prisoner mascot. Don't fuck with Katakurichan because Katakurichan will dice your shit.

He's a prison warden with a giant purple flower for hair. So that's cool. The mascot of Ashikawa prison. This one's just like a cute bear. I like that guy. That looks like an Animal Crossing character. That that Japan crazed man. It's a reindeer Is that is that is Animal Crossing just based on prison? And we never knew all retired prison mascots who have congregated in one. Oh

That's high blue lives matter could have a whole new demographic if they just went in that direction. What's blue in Spanish? Japanese? No. Connor's with you. Ask him. Connor, come on out here! That's right! It's the Connor episode. Another Million View episode.

It would be a Million View episode. There's a cheat code, man. Connor, the whole squad. Wait, wait, wait. Say it again. Ow. Ow. Ow.

I was so happy when I saw your thumbnail and I could read a name. Oh, yeah. I posted a thumbnail of China's Hardest Game and it had the top three world record holders and Aiden's in the group chat like, that means two eggs. Knee down. You still got it, baby. I like how you did retain it. I remembered egg.

Wasn't one of your gamer tags egg? No, I just got excited. Or yeah, yeah. My Smurf name is Spicy Penguin Egg. That's why he knows egg. Well, he still knows it. Still locked his memory. Can't blame him.

I'm blaming him. How was New York? New York sucks. New Jort. What? New boy fuck what do you like about it he's such an LA kid no I hate LA that's why I don't like New York it's about you don't you don't you don't I think you like LA I think the way I've seen you interact with with this world I can just tell you love you love it you're not a guy I don't I like where I live. I don't live in downtown. Does he do anything that is stereotypically LA?

No, no. The way he consumes. The way he consumes. Let me. He works in film. He fucking loves milk substitutes. Yeah, he's always got a milk substitute beverage in his hand always. He loves driving.

Tattooed out the ass. Why do I think you like driving? Why would I like New York if I love driving? No, I'm saying you love LA. You hate New york why would you love la if you love driving but i don't know why you have to drive you're trying to say examples of why i like la you have to drive in la you have to drive in la driving don't you no i hate driving but you take none of you know me you take casual i can't hear what you're saying remember... You said you take casual drives. Casual drives. Casual drives. I remember.

I'm a good friend. I can't hear what you're saying. Remember when you were going on casual drives to clear your mind and shit? You like driving. I do that when I'm miserable. But you still do it. Why do you do it? To get happier.

To be happier. Yes. Yeah, well done. Come on, Albert. We did it. We did it. Look, let me be more specific. So...

Thanks, Zipper. I made the mistake of staying in Manhattan. I really don't like Manhattan. West side or what? Were you on the Seinfeld side? I was in Midtown. Mid Square. Midpoint.

Time Midtown Square. But I spent a lot of time in Brooklyn, and that was a lot better. Brooklyn was cooler. But when I was there, I went there to visit my dad, and I rented a Maserati in Brooklyn and that was a lot better. Yeah. Brooklyn was cooler. But I, I, when I was there, I went there to visit my dad and I rented a Maserati cause I wanted to impress him. And I was cause he likes,

he builds cars. So I was like, I'm going to pull up in like a cool car and then we're going to drive around when you're not 20, not 30. You actually can't rent a lot of cars. I tried cause I wanted to get like a really fucking nice car and they only, you can rent normal cars when you're 25,

just not the sports cars. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But I'm trying to get a sports car. Sure. car and they only you can rent normal cars when you're 25 just not the sports cars yeah that's what i'm saying yeah but i'm trying a lot of cars trying to get a sports car sure specifically because he's into cars so i got a uh maserati gran turismo and i was driving it i don't know why but it's very it's 2012 so like the the in what's it called like the infotainment system or whatever uh is kind of outdated but it had a screen it had like some weird version of carplay um and there was a button on the wheel that said uh scr which i learned later was probably screen um and it was the only button that would change

it was in touch screen it was the only button that would like a change anything on it and the only two things it would do is uh one go to a screen where it tries to connect to my phone, but does not work. And two, loops the movie Ice Age 2. No. And so I was driving around Manhattan looping Ice Age 2 the entire trip. That's so hard.

How's it start? It was like always right in the middle. Like it was always like, like it would like, the car would restart the movie from the middle. Yeah. When the car turned on. Because it's the best part is in that part. The best part's when the opening the middle when the car turned on. Because it's the best part is in that part.

The best part is when the opening sequence when he gets the nut, but he never gets the nut. But he never gets the nut. But he got it. They got it recently. They gave it to him. Remember that? No, I haven't seen it. I haven't watched Ice Age recently.

I'm 27. Ice Age. It was like a promotion online. For sure. 27 years old. I'm not 27 yet. I'm younger. He's older. He's young and fresh. Yeah old. I'm also I'm not 27 And fresh yeah, I mean I love besides that I was basically the most oh no I went to I went to a sumo fight

Yes, oh that I saw I knew it was so awesome. You're the sumo fight. I was like that's not new When I saw that you were there cuz Hassan and will we're doing Soon I was in Japan and I was like did Nick like go meet them He just lied like I'm going to New York goes to Japan So you could have just said that you were doing that Japan without us why did you go to Japan and why did the sumo I? Went there my dad and then after I was done hanging on my dad I I tried to like meet up with everyone who I know out there. And one, I was hanging out with Caleb from Pot of Outlist.

And he was like, do you want to go to a LAN cafe? And I was like, sure. And we went and we played Valorant in a LAN cafe. It was hype. We were fist bumping after games and stuff. And the guy who owns the LAN cafe watches the yard. So I was getting free Red Bull. It was pretty tight.

And then after, he was like, you know, tomorrow we're going to go take acid and watch sumo wrestlers. Oh my God. You want to go do that? I was like, that is so fucking funny. I would love to go. It was so expensive.

It was like $120. And you're supposed to, the idea is that you like eat sushi while watching sumo wrestlers. But when I got there and they served us sushi, it was like a, like a Walmart bento box. Yeah. It was not like good sushi. It was like $20 worth of sushi okay uh so it's about $110 to watch sumo wrestlers fight but the seat's pretty good right because it's like not normal stadium seating because you have a table and shit yeah it's pretty good you're like i don't know i've seen these venues it was kind of like medieval times it was like like right it wasn't a stadium but it was just like, they all had different colored diapers on,

and I'm like, go red! Red diapers. We were betting $5 per, and they had a high roller friend who was doing 20 to 40 with me. Oh, I would have loved to be in the mix. Betting on diapers.

The format is weird. So there's like two fighters, and then one wins, and winner stays on. And then someone else comes on. They don't play rotation. And they just keep going until there's a champion, which I did not understand. Like when do you stop?

Like I didn't get it at all. And they were like announcing like how it works, but like you couldn't hear them. And also I learned that you could be 600 pounds and you can lose to a 200 pound sumo wrestler. That's one of the beauties of sumo wrestling. It's not based on size. I watched a dude because we were betting like the way we were betting was kind of fraudulent like i'd be like i get green and he's like i get red and if green one i just get to stay green so like my my horse is getting fatigued yeah true for the next fight yeah that makes sense which is

kind of weird um and so this guy comes on my guy's like like 600 pounds and i'm like that's my guy i'm betting on that guy who do you want he's like fine i. And I'm like, that's my guy. I'm betting on that guy. Who do you want? He's like, fine, I'll take the other guy. And then he wins. And then the next guy comes on. He's like, he weighs as much as fucking Ludwig weighs. And I'm like.

Don't say that. It's hurtful. So he's like 300 pounds. And I'm like, I still get my guy. And they're like, whatever, man. And he goes. And he lifts him up by the diaper in the air. Feet off the ground.

Like a bad kid. And wrote and spinning him. And then he the ground. Like a bad kid. And wrote and spinning him. And then he throws him. Like a Bowser throw? Yeah, it was like Bowser. And in sumo wrestling, if they just fall down, they lose. Like, there's no... If you fall or if you step out of the circle.

Yeah, out of the circle or just fall, which I didn't know the rules of that. So I was kind of like, oh, you just push him over. And so I was hype. And at the very end of it all, there was a group of fans who could pay a premium to fight the sumo wrestlers and i was like i would have done anything to do that if i knew that going in wow and so one of the dudes one of the dudes looked like peter griffin he was just fatter than the sumo wrestlers but just a white guy from new york and uh he put up a fight but the rest of the guys were just like kind of strong young guys and the sumo wrestlers just like toyed with them wait well Hasan did this stream where he

went to a sumo spot and it showed off just how much technique they have because he goes up against this guy and it looks like he's putting up a fight because sumo's like getting right to the edge of the ring yeah and the moment he hits the edge of the ring and he's like flailing back there he just like puts his foot down and just flips us on like without an issue and he knew exactly where he was his heel was like an inch away from losing but it was not a problem because he knew that he was toying with him yeah i kept thinking he was gonna lose i was surprised by the amount of awareness yeah you just it was tight it was that was worth it for sure sumo wrestling yeah i want to go back so i can fight the sumo wrestlers. You should train. I want my moment.

What if I told you there's a country where there's so many sumo wrestlers? Where? Nihon. Oh, you want to go back? There was one guy you could tell. Everyone was kind of having fun with it. And there was one guy you could tell really wanted to win. And he tripped and fell when he ran to do his first push.

And they let him go again. It was all really cringe. tripped and fell when he ran to do his first like push and they let him go again and it was it was all really cringe it was like he was like trying super hard and the sumo wrestler was like dude

like this is my job this is for the family oh it was one of the people in the audience one of the fans oh it would be crazy to let a pro sumo wrestler

go again the actual fights were very legit it seemed yeah he's like I'm serious about being a fat guy. The champion of the night, he was wearing a Yankees hat after he won.

So it's like a sumo wrestler in a Yankees hat, which I imagine is the largest size they offer. And then he had a towel out the Yankees hat that goes all the way down to his butt. And the towel just said, I want a beer. Fuck yeah. I was like, I rule super hard. That's my go. That's really all that happened. Not a New York guy.

Not a New York guy. Not a New York guy. He's such an LA guy. It's an LA thing to say. An LA thing. You went to Vegas. Yeah, I had a sabbatical. That's not what that is.

He keeps calling it that. He keeps saying he had a sabbatical. That's not what a sabbatical is. Yes, it is. What was it? A mind cleanse. You just went somewhere. You just went to Vegas.

And came back. On vacation. Tell me. How'd you run? Let's start this. What is a sabbatical? And then came back for your job at the regular cadence that it occurs at. A sabbatical is like a leave from a job for purposes of like either maybe I can think

physical health and mental health. What job did you leave? Okay. I see what you're saying. It's not a sabbatical it's something else a vacation it's a vacation right a trip so i took a sabbatical to las vegas and yeah i took pto no so i was going to i was going to go to vegas and then i was going to go back home to colorado and uh do a couple things but then I decided to just stay in Vegas because it was fun.

Yeah, I wonder. Yeah, why? So but what's going on right now is World Series at Poker, which is about a month and a half of just like all day tournaments at every casino and the venue that they do that at. So I basically just played tournament poker for like five days straight. And it was really fun. And I ran like

shit but what i did is i would get frustrated i would go to the blackjack table and mine it and just come back with money and just finance my trip so old to be doing that but but but i know i know but i just didn't i mean it's because his life experience should teach him that's not how it works because when i first went to the the cas, it was in Arizona, Arizona State, the one in Scottsdale, right? The casino there. Not anymore. Close down.

It is still there. It's called Talking Sticks Resort. No, they closed it. Nope. It's on Native American land, Talking Sticks Resort. Talking Stick, which is actually true. It's no. It's Talking Stick.

It's Talking Sticks. It's not. It's talking stick. It's talking sticks. It's not. All the sticks talk. I'll bet you 10%. All the sticks talk. The T and the sign went off a long time ago. So like people who just moved there think it's. It's talking stick.

Okay. Either way. Because Mikey would host tournaments there. I saw it all the time. I went to talking stick resort and this is when I was freshly turned 18. My friend Eric, who's a couple of years older. Nubile. I'm Nubile.

And we would go and we had a strategy of going to blackjack, making money at blackjack to play poker. Yeah. It was like a tried and true. And we went every other week for like three months, always bringing like 80 bucks and then just running it up in blackjack. And it worked almost every time. Isn't that funny?

I was convinced that I was like, Oh yeah, blackjack, you just make money. Poker. You like like get better at you can make a lot more money i've lost enough money in blackjack to know it doesn't work like this so much i just kept getting lucky and leaving when i was up which is a new development that's a skill so i yeah i financed my whole trip just playing really difficult tournament poker i didn't play i think fit well enough but i just you know you make mistakes you also want to like the dumbest time right

no because it's so many people in general like it's actually they're just with bigger fields I think fit well enough, but I just, you know, you make mistakes. You also went to like the dumbest time, right? No, because it's so many people in general. Like it's actually, there's just bigger fields, but no one's actually good enough to like clobber you. Like there's killers every now and then, but I don't know. I played enough to be like,

feel all right. It was really fun though. I had a great fucking time. People went up. Yeah. I'm actually up, which is funny, dude.

What Ludwig? What's this? What? What's going to get us in here? You're not going to believe this. What? I have the ability to stream anime on my YouTube stream. I've secured a deal to do it.

What? The only rule is that I can't keep the VOD up, which makes sense. a deal to do it. What? The only rule is that I can't keep the VOD up, which makes sense. And I also have to block the entire country of Japan from watching my stream forever. Which you should do anyway. Well, yeah. Because you promote western

values that I don't think are good. I think I should do it because even people in Japan can keep watching if they used NordVPN. Oh. You can get around that silly old region locked content, which I might be a part of. Oh. So if you're a Nippon desk and you want to watch Western media like Ludwig.

Yes. You want to watch it live on Ludwig's channel. There'll be no VOD. No VOD. If there was a VOD, he'd have to take it down within 60 days. 60 days is a good. Because I would get probably C&D'd by someone in Japan. And so.

You wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want that. You wouldn't like that. So how about you use Nord to protect your online activity? Phishing, password attacks, DDoS, ransomware. They have a 30-day money-back guarantee. It's quick and easy to switch servers during use. And one account lets you use up to six devices, which is a lot of devices.

I have six devices because I have four cell phones and two computers That's a lot and he needs Yeah, he keeps him on a belt and a Bluetooth he's trying to he's going dad core He's gonna be like one of those grandmas playing Pokemon go when they have like six phones out fuck up now right now You can get a two-year plan at a huge discount plus one additional month for free when you use our link nordvpn.com slash the yard it's risk-free nord 30-day money-back guarantee nordvpn.com slash the yard and again you can you can be influenced by wanton western culture i will block you and it's not your fault but please keep watching with nord on my plan i was uh jeff wittek was sitting next to me, who

I don't know. Yeah, he does the haircut thing. He was part of David Dobrik's crew before he broke his face on David Dobrik's crane. I just learned this morning that he's had like nine eye surgeries. A lot of eye surgeries. I met him on the

plane and he still has more surgeries to get, which is crazy. You talked to him? Yeah, I talked to him. You sound like you weren't going to talk to him. I didn't think I was going to. So I was like, Jeff Wicks on the plane,

I think it's kind of funny. And then I talked to him and I was like, I don't know really much about him. Aiden would have a high point from Thursday. But then it kind of just more naturally happened. So I was like, okay.

He's very nice. He's very cool. Your eye looks fucked. No, you can't even tell. I was like, damn, rich people can just get crazy good surgeries and be totally chill. But one funny thing that he said was, he's like, yeah, I was supposed to

cut Ludwig's hair, but apparently he's picky about his hair. Pussy boy? In my head, I was like, Ludwig goes to supercuts. The last time he was a little pussy boy? Why are you turning down Mandem? I'll do a drama alert right now. I'll do a drama alert for Jeff fucking Wittek's dumbass fucking-

I like this because Ludwig's face was so- Yeah, dumbass probably deserved to be called by the Kray. That's the same- Yeah, I'm in your corner. That is what Ludwig said. That's what you said in private. We don't represent the views of the garbage bag with shoes on in the corner of the room. Those are the views that Ludwig has and I'm back up he told aiden in private he said this this is kind of

funny in 2019 all right pre-covid i messaged jeff and i said hey if you ever need a video idea like i'm willing to throw my my body on the line because i watched jeff at that point okay and i and i liked what jeff was doing i thought he was funny i thought he was the funny guy in the david dober group just through that three years later he replies and he says wow just saw this bro that's so funny through i wonder what happened three years later well he said saw you on cold ones the other day it was dope you showed your nuts love those guys wow and then chad and max i mean not the nuts and then he said we got to get you on the show and i said yeah i'm busy because it's like two weeks before chess boxing but after i'm good and he said great and then uh he said sick event don't

know wald my bad he messaged me again he said yeah i'm down i gave him a time he said where you located and then i forgot to respond oh Oh, wow. I just found this out. Drama alert. Dude, you bet so hard. Wow. Because I saw his face and he was like, yeah, let's rock, bitch. Like, he had the answer. I still don't know where the freaky hair thing came from. So Jeff is just a good, honest guy.

Well, no, because to be fair, I never said shit about hair. Dig the hole. All I said is where are you located. It was too specific to be a lie. I didn't say anything about hair. I didn't say, I didn't say, like, I'm picky on hair. I said, I'm kind of busy. And, but, so he made that up.

And second of all, he took three years to reply to me. Three months, that's not that bad. Sure. I think that's fair. I think that, once again, the court man says that Ludwig wins. Jeff, 2026. 2026. That's when you get to touch this Adonis's hair, main.

I think he would be fun to have on uh this pod yeah well aiden wants him now your son wants it will you buy it for your son please dad my kid's whiny dad i have a whiny kid he does dress like that yeah you dress like the son of a grand theft auto character yes oh my gosh gta5 and you burp like one too oh he would just fit right in with a crypto crew like bros who make nfts he would fit right in i took a picture of him a post later but it literally looks like his ape just crashed it did my apartment my apartment's down oh dude what was i gonna say oh yeah i think the highlight of my trip was honestly like I was so okay I realized two things about myself one is that gambling is so fun and it just is no but like I on the poker table when you were playing in tournament with all these like degenerates that have been there for like a

month or or live there or whatever and it's like we're all sharing this common interest of like this game that we're playing of deception but also it moves slow so you can talk to each other i was talking to people like i was aiden i was getting to know people and it was so interesting like you were i was like why do i feel comfortable here doing this like a human that's what i'm saying on the poker table i become human detroit become human and i was also the funniest guy on there which meant a lot to me, right? Like I was just so quick and making jokes. Everyone's laughing and like we're just sharing this entire thing at a table. And I was like, this is where I belong.

It was a really nice revelation for me. I think it would be bad if you were there for a long time. Aiden, go ahead. Sent me a text. He said, I sat next to this girl at the poker table and we hit it off and hung out all night. She's a lawyer from Canada. This is what it's like

to be a man. That's true. This literally happened. It was like, it was like crazy. Some of the joys of human connection, however,

that you have to explore that human connection further because if you were there a year, you would, you would see maybe some regulars, but you don't see

like so many new people in and out. You'd be like a school teacher. That's fine. You never get to forge connections for life. But I like it that way because there's no obligation. He prefers it that way. That's why Aiden likes super drivers because he can never see them again. And if they die, he doesn't care.

When they die, he doesn't care. He hopes they do on their next ride. On their next ride, they die in a fireball. So it doesn't matter anymore. And then his luck resets. Yes. But I think for Aiden, he also probably has higher joy in the deeper connections

and nourishing those than forging new connections. No, I don't think he does. He wants most people to die in fireball-like situations. Because the thing is, what I'm saying is the difference between someone dying in a fireball after they drop him off and he maybe tips them, probably not. And the difference between that and never talking to him

again is the same in his head. Let's clear something up. He doesn't tip him, right? Of course, yes. He gives them some life advice. He talks to them. He listens. He doesn't even ask for the advice. He just gives them life advice. Which everyone loves and wants to hear all the time. And in his head, that was the tip.

Just start a podcast. Just start a podcast. It worked for me. It's like, actually, it's funny. If you start a podcast, you actually make a lot more than you think you might. I don't. I don't. My first try actually made a lot of money doing a podcast.

I guess I don't have five kids, but I would just start a podcast. Yeah. And that could probably pay for the colleges. But don't use like a yard. We did that. So maybe try something else than a yard. It would be hard if you did it and called it the yard. Maybe the street.

It would be difficult. Maybe the street. Yeah. The street's good. You should ask my friend, Nick. He actually kind of set the whole thing up. You should ask him. He gave me some tips.

But Aiden, I think still with all of this, you know, vitriol, anger, immoral activity in new relationships forged, probably still prefers those deeper relationships getting deeper which is why he follows up because he falls he is a follow-upper it's not like he forced a new relationship and it's like burned gone but wait but in his mind he only follows up the check if they've exploded in some sort of fire instead he has to continue following right if they haven't he makes sure he keeps the connection longer so he loves them so he doesn't want them all right well fine let's just let's just consult the actual person nick what is your final thought on how aiden i'm really trying to synthesize all the things that we've said here today um but i think where i'm ending up is he wants people to hurt and feel hurt and feel bad

because he will never feel it himself. I think that it makes him, it kind of entertains him kind of like a, like a TV show, like an iPod nano game. You know, it's like just enough, just enough for this flight. That's makes a lot.

Thank you so much. Well, this has been the yard podcast. Anyway, I met, met this guy named Ben this morning from team liquid, went on a hike with him in Bjergsen. And I'm looking forward to hanging out with Ben again.

Cause we're going to hang out again soon. Did you really? Yeah. That's so crazy. Is he that journalist guy? No. I think I know this person still. So, you know, just met him for the first time this morning.

Looking forward to spending more time with him. How many times has Aiden- Hope he doesn't explode at any fireballs. I don't know. How many times has Aiden asked me to hike? Never. The answer is actually zero. He's actually never asked me to hike either. Why?

Actually, you know what? Let's flip it on Aiden. Why do you like these new friends more? That's what I'm saying! He asked me to hike once. Why have you never asked me to hike? I've asked Aiden. I have asked you to hike.

No, you haven't. Yes. Have. Wrong. Have. Have. When? Have.

Confine the DM. Okay. Definitely ask you when we lived in the old house together. Never ask you because you never want to do it. You hiking with John and Radstads was a phenomena that we all that we all were stumped like it was a big foot so so don't ask why i don't ask you and i have asked you before once but he also doesn't like hiking so that's why i don't ask him i love hiking i have no idea what he's talking about interesting like la guy la guy doesn't like Does love hiking. Why do you like these new

friends more than us? Yeah. And why do you not hang out with us? I don't. We're hanging out right now. No, this is work. That's what we say to you. You can't use that argument because we say that to you and then you go, bears. And then we all want to die inside. At least

me and Nick do. I have a good reason. Why? I work to keep my boys fed. Body doesn't quit. You live far away, and that's fine. You don't invite. You don't invite. You don't invite any of us. You don't even hang out with him at the home you live together.

This is about Slime. I was hanging out with Jazz Fizzy, the male. He made Slippy in New York. We were talking about Slime, and he goes, was hanging out with jazz fizzy uh the melee yes he made slippy legend um in new york and we were talking about slime and uh and he goes yeah slime uh so like his twitter like like what's his deal he just asked it like that and i'm like what do you mean he's like you're so mad yeah all the time and i thought about a lot i'm like i don't know i don't have an answer for you tough question to answer. But the way he put it

was just really funny. Jazz, neither do I. I think I just scroll and I see something and I see red. You do get mad. Someone today said something about how the space telescope

is going to be able to see so far into space and it'll change the world. Someone, it was a physicist. And I was like, no it won't. It was a trained physicist. Yeah, and I said,

no it won't. What? Because it won't. It probably won't. Because it doesn't physicist. Yeah, and I said, no, it won't. What? Because it won't. It probably won't. Because it doesn't change the taste of mustard. Wow. If someone tweeted, I'm going to change the taste of mustard, would you have replied, this will change the world?

Yeah. That's really funny. If Isaac Newton was around, and you were around in his time, and he was like, dude, I found this gravity thing, you'd be like, gives a shit. No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you would. No, because it's the first time. This is the first time. He's trying to get it out the mud. These

people are not trying to get it out the mud. What does that mean? What does that mean? What the fuck did that mean? Young boy never broke again. Why did you just dunk on a physicist? Because it's a dumb thing to say. What they said is not going to change the fucking world. It will. The Hubble Space Telescope changed the world.

Changed our understanding of the universe. Oh, and so people still have to work at 7-Eleven. Yes. What is the difference between this and Isaac Newton? If we colonized Mars, that changed the world. Yeah. But people still work at 7-Eleven. There'd be a Martian 7-Eleven, though, which is way different.

No, on Earth they still work here. Yeah, but the idea that there's a Martian 7-Eleven though, which is way different. No, on Earth, they still do it. Yeah, but the idea that there's a Martian 7-Eleven that you like share benefits with is crazy. Yeah, that's what they, that there'd be a lot of camaraderie.

You guys are fucking roasting me right now. Everyone listening to this stupid show knows that I'm right. Do you think they agree with you? God, I swear to God. It sucks that after a few times,

it sucks that I have to reheat the 7-Eleven pizza again, but at least I know I have a coworker on Mars. If you have at all followed what we're talking about, leave a comment. I'm telling the truth. I think I have an actual really good point this time that is unanimous.

Speaking of who's right. Speaking of which. If it's about him, I don't know. Please don't be me. By just an avalanche. I don't know what he's talking about. Last week. Last week.

What? Let's check the Twitter thread. The Pope. Oh, the Pope. And Donald Trump. All week. Last week. What? Let's check the Twitter thread. The Pope. Oh, the Pope. And Donald Trump. All right, I'm checking. I'm checking the results. The results here on the satellite orbiting the Earth.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. You can't look at the Twitter poll. Well, the Twitter poll is what we polled people. That's what we asked. According to Elon Musk, 362,000 people saw this poll. And how many people voted were 43,000 human beings. Go look at the YouTube comments. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Aiden, is this enough people for it to be statistically significant? Yeah. Go look at the YouTube comments. Look at the replies of this post. Well, I don't know, but a poll says here. Oh my God. In many elections, this is considered a landslide.

It's weird that Aiden wouldn't bring it up when he's wrong. Yeah. That's what I was saying. In a 60-40 election would be historic. This is so disingenuous. It would be a historic landslide. A historic landslide. It's weird that Aiden wouldn't bring it up when he's wrong. That's what I was saying. A 60-40 election would be his historic landslide. I'm sorry, now we use democracy to figure out the answer. For audio listeners, the Pope earned

59.6% of the vote to Donald Trump, who has 40.4% for the most famous person between these two people. Yes, and Aiden, to Aiden's credit, let's actually pull up the YouTube and see how many comments there were and if there are more than 43 000 then i think we should take those into consideration and remember all those comments have to either choose a you know a decision in that so i feel like maybe if we took every comment that said trump and

subtracted it from the poll it would still be wouldn't we don't know let's check the numbers yeah let's check the numbers because the numbers tell the story I'm assuming there's thousands of comments the way Aiden was talking about yeah, yeah Yeah, there must be thousands just pull it up right here. So looking at the YouTube channel Okay, there's a little over 1000. I think I have that many Facebook friends 1197 comments Okay, well there are likes 2,197 comments.

Okay, well, there are likes considering... Dude, it's the Pope and the U.S. President are titles, not people. Oh, we should probably trust that one guy. That's what everybody said! No, no, you... The argument was about... 335 people liked that. And there's four replies, which I'm sure discourse is occurring there. And I think even if you added everyone in the comments

and just said they were all Trump and put it in the poll, you'd still lose by a landslide. True. It true so let me ask you this aiden when you said speaking of who's right in a victorious tone what did you mean buddy because we just pulled up the and also did you wear this on the hike because you look so dumb So dumb. I was excited. I was excited to revel in my glory. Go take a slide about it. Go take a slide about it. Take a slide about it.

We'll keep going. Take a slide. And I brought you guys a gift. Take a lap. We don't care. Take a lap. We'll take your gift after. He's doing a sad slide down our slide.

Yeah, I'll take your gift. Audio listeners are going to slide. The gift is so nice of him. Feels good to win. You know, I wasn't on your gift. The gift is so nice of him. It feels good to win. You know, I wasn't on your side, but sometimes the numbers don't lie. Ball does not lie. Ball don't lie. And that's the society we live in.

It's good to win, you know? Because when the poll went up, I was at ground zero. So I was going... You were at 9-11 site of terrorism. Right. That's crazy. Did you see anyone taking a picture, smiling in the picture? Yeah, a ton of people.

It's like the Auschwitz photo. There's the girl and she's like... It's not like that. It's actually different. I saw one of the names had a rose coming out of it. That's cool. That's crazy. It's crazy that only one person had that.

It was weird that there was only one I don't know big asshole by the way zero. It's just like it's so big. They feel it beacon of well That's the whole crud Took off his clothes to do this which I do respect You have a body that doesn't quit your body doesn't quit it all also. We love you It's suck time suck time for our boy I have a body that doesn't quit. Your body doesn't quit. It doesn't quit at all. Also, we love your little martini. No, don't suck down my Topo- It's suck time. Suck time for our boy.

Suck it down. That's our slide boy. And he likes to suck. So Ben, I was sucking down his Topo Chico. He should go on a hike again. Archie's just gonna have to blur his whole body. Archie's getting a workout this time.

Yeah, put the fanny pack on. I could've used that. I needed one so bad in Vegas. It's like when you find an item of- Think if I take my underwear off? You find- you need to have an inventory but you don't have a, like, costume yet? Yeah, yeah. He just found like a three slot bag off of Trash Mom. Actually, I used Spawn of Tears of the Kingdom.

This is a better outfit than what you were wearing. Yeah, this is actually so much more money. If you were up in this, I'd be like, this guy fucking rules. This guy's fucking... Can you drive here like this? Can you show us the gifts, King? Oh, give us our gifts now. Come on, we want it. Give us our gifts.

Yeah, it's our gift time, basically, so... We want our gift now. Wait, Zipper, what's our time at? We have, like, 30 minutes left. Okay. Holy shit, really? I'll save this for the end. I feel like it's been long.

You're gonna save the gifts? I'll save the gifts for the end. Stick around to see Aiden's gift. Oh, he hyped it up. I'll sound excited for them. Stick around to see Aiden's gift. Oh. He hyped it up. I'll sound excited about it. Stick around to see Aiden's gift. That, well, you really choked the end.

I can't physically do it. It's too hard. I bet it's hard. It's too hard. Speaking of Rose, by the way, do you know what a rose is in a frat? Is it like a fucked up sexual thing? Kind of. Is it like your little partner?

Like someone, like a freshman? Is it's like you've is it like you're a little big your little partner like someone a freshman Is it like your little freshman that you like it's it's when you're it's when you're a little freshman little fresh Littles and bigs that's a thing well that is a thing But it's when you're little commits a sex crime and you cover it up with money from the fraternity and you give them the rose Littles and bigs is a sorority thing. Oh, is it always sororities? You don't say Littles and Biggs and Frats. A Rose is like a designated girl for a frat who's oftentimes in a sorority or like a paired sorority. Like a dog?

This already feels uncomfortable. It's like their girl for the whole group of guys. That they feed with a bowl? What do you mean their girl this is like it's their term is their rose i know it is weird that's why i'm bringing it up but if you look at like any frat like picture like they have this like almost yearbook like picture of every year each year will have their own rose it'll be a girl who's the same year as the graduating year frat guys and they'll just be there picture, with all the guys around them.

And it's like, she's basically the queen of the land. And I found this out the hard way because I went to a frat party with a friend that I had from high school who invited me. And I was talking to this girl, and she's being an asshole. And so I was fucking with her. And she's like, you look like you suck dicks.

I'm like, I suck a fuck ton of dicks. You suck a whole bag of dicks. Every day. And then she just got upset by that and then i found out i didn't want to be right i found what she's homophobic she found out that hard way and then she found i found out that she was the rose because it got kicked out instantly wow like it was like the rose yep demanded it and i was gone my man so our rose says you're trying to suck bags of dick. You just clear up whatever happened.

And we know you came with two bottles of goose. So it's like, that was tight. So we'll give you one to leave with, and we're going to keep one for trouble. You just can't talk to our rose anymore. And there's another term, shit. I don't know if you can look it up. There's rose fraternity, and then there's a nether girl. We should have a yard rose. You know what? So I think we were if you can look it up. There's like Rose fraternity, and then there's like a nether girl. We should have a yard Rose.

You know what? So I think we were talking about how weird it was, right? It's not a sexual thing, right? Well, it could just be Aiden. I think it kind of is a sexual thing. What, because they're a queen? I don't think it needs to be a sexual thing, but I think the Rose oftentimes sleeps with many members of the frat.

That seems so dark. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's great. Yeah, that's not. For sure. Okay, can I ask a genuine question for my humans around me right now what purpose besides a funny thing to talk about does a frat serve i genuinely don't know community right yeah friends yeah brother brotherhood okay brethren and and um

oftentimes i think people join frats because they want to party and have sex. Okay. And it's like. So it's like a sex cult, but it's Greek based. Yeah. It is. So Aristotle's involved. It's a Greek based hierarchical sex cult.

And that's why Stav is allowed into every fraternity in the US. But it's also sanctioned by the higher education system. Sometimes. Oftentimes, if the Greek life gets too out of control, they'll kick out individual groups, if not the entirety of the Greek life. They're actually all owned by Monsanto. Well, does it have any connection

to Greece, the nation? No, none. So they don't get kickbacks? The alphabet. Or the movie? Just the alphabet? The alphabet's connected. And there's also, by the way,

there's a hierarchy in the Greek system. So Sigma Chi is consistent. There's many colleges of Sigma Chi, and then there's a Sigma Chi headquarters. I see. There's like a tier list of crafts. So Sigma Chi have specific values that are unanimous. They would say that, yeah.

They got no slut Thursdays. We only do fireballs. Machis will generally be a little stronger. They'll work out more. No, that's the Japanese thing. No, that's Fiji. Machis, that's their nickname, will work out more.

Same with Thetas. I think Thetas generally are more into working out. But there's a more slender frat out there more otter like there's a alpha has southern values It's our frats and sororities in the discord server. I think that's a bad idea Who's the guy who led the Confederate Army That's the other guy yeah Robert E Lee is the guy who made Kappa Alpha. What? Yeah. So it's a slave cult.

Well, I wouldn't say that, because they... He fought for slavery! But they are the biggest in the South, and... That's crazy, because they fought to protect the rights to be a slave owner. Dude, if his name was just Matthew, his initials would be Melee. Makes you think. That's crazy. Much to think about. Much to think about.

Much to think about. So you did this, or you explained this to me. This makes a lot of sense. This seems weird. Yeah. Yeah, of course it's weird. Greek life is weird.

It is 100% weird. So Josh gets zero kickbacks from this shit. Josh. Our friend Josh. Our Greek friend. Josh man? Oh yeah, he gets zero kickbacks. He doesn't get a check or anything.

Well, it was a big dispute in the EU because they were subsidizing Greece for a while during that whole economic thing. You can't get the money from Greek life. And then they were like, austerity measures. You guys have to stop sending all your money to American university fraternities. I like the idea of Blake at Sigma Chi. He's like, bro, the home country's in trouble. We got to do a car wash like, bro, the home country's in trouble. We gotta do

a car wash again, bro. You should get into any fraternity and you automatically become an EU citizen. You should actually increase our dues to subsidize the country because their culture is really important. So, what's up? Tyler, Blake, can you come up here? We want to announce that we are raising the tax on Greek life.

Please, please. It calls down to my attention that youth unemployment is at an all-time high. That's crazy, man. What a weird little thing that is. It's a weird little thing. Here's the thing. If you want to be the yard rose, write in. Write into the yard.

We do not need a rose. 18 plus looking for a yard rose. No. We don't want a rose 18 plus Looking for a yard rose No We don't want a rose Hey Aiden is our rose Our rose right there The gnome? No it's the fucking

Canister Oh Oh that makes I like that I wouldn't It's like It's like the magic conch It's not

But not a sexual way Like we just It's just like We just You press the button And you listen to it Right now if we had to Pick a rose I think it should be connor i think it should be whoever our most viewed guest is is our rose oh i like that maybe stavros i want stavros he'd be a

beautiful he's already beautiful he's greek all right he can be a rose he's our beautiful delicate rose that we will always water you rushed didn't you yeah i rushed i did rush i rushed to kappa alpha actually what does rush mean it means to try to get into the frat yeah and it you have to like suck a guy off and like get drunk and kill yourself yeah eventually like it's crazy right that's after you pledge that's not during rush the the system works don't okay just just score that out archie because nick is playing what does that do he doesn't have to blur that there's nothing explicit about well now he does oh my god when you just found out the eye of sauron oh it pulses oh my god that's like that i don't like

also for those because we talked about this so long ago, I want to be clear that we made this 100% with Amaranth and her team. No, we used the technology from the episode. Sign-off, consent. There was a lot of AI guessing. What are we going to tell her that we made 400,000 of them? We don't have to. I've been in meetings for so long about this. We don't have to say shit because it's fucking America.

Yeah, and she was on the the pod which means we have the right That's right We have the right to her form You guys think I'm hot? I actually just so do I just do Okay sorry go on you were talking about Getting into a frat and having to suck all those

Pee pees The mushroom bobby in the back of the throat The general system is you rushing Is you just trying to be a chill ass viber yeah they invite you to parties and there will be booze for free tight and girls babies and babies so they pick out the most vibe ass chillers yeah and they say hey we'll give you a that's the rushing process we'll give you a bid and the bid is basically like hey we are bidding for you to join our organization because oftentimes you will rush multiple frats at once i see and then then they'll pick like who their favorites are and they'll have like is that just based on like who the most chill-ass fiber is yeah literally

but it also has to go in line with the frats ideals because you're a black guy they're probably like no we don't want you because we're a southern frat and that's how robert e lee said none of you should you know have freedoms i don't think it's like uh no but they can do that right there is a social system where they can be like yeah we don't choose that guy and it's like well why the way this actualizes in this probably happens but i think it's less in like direct racism. Like you're implying the way I see it happen more frequently is in like, uh, the homogeneity of sororities. So like certain sororities will be just blonde hair,

blue eye, you know, seven. Yeah. Like, like it's Aryan Kappa five sororities. Like alpha fee is one that's known for like, like you have to look a certain look

sororities are worse in this regard i think frats are more about being because girls are more racist dope ass chiller yes and do you not selling out your it's more about not selling out your brothers oh so it's it's guy code yes yeah it's guy girls girls rush is way different they go through all these fucking they go through the trials and tribulations. Is hazing still a thing? For girls or guys? Both. So the process, you get the bid.

If you accept the bid, then you are a pledge, which is usually a one semester process. And that's six months of hazing. Yes, pledge. Yes. Yeah, I'm pledged, sir. Where you are lower in the cast, and you are required to do tasks,

whether it's pick up booze or pick up a frat member this pledge's body won't quit sir and then some get more aggressive where it's like hey at 4 a.m where they're gonna wake you up and you have to go swim through a river or you have to drink for 24 hours straight oh my god and this was what occasionally leads to death zipper three was telling me that uh one of her friends and her friend their their hazing was they got woken up at 3 a.m blindfolded put in cars and then they drove them for three hours they didn't know where they were going and then they had they dropped them off in times square in costumes and they had to be times square mascots for the day that's crazy kind of fun

yeah but that's kind of seems not too easy. That's like a good memory Kind of a funny one, but they're like all the pledges have to like come in You got it you got a slam goose and then swim until you die You gotta come in Blake's mouth entirely you come in Brian had to eat the little packet in the beef jerky. Most of them have to do with with like

alcohol I would say. There's this one called Don't Fuck Your Brother which is you all the pledges get in a line and then you get handed

like a big you get maybe a bottle of goose if you're at Fiji and then you have to drink as much as you want or can but it has to go to the next guy in line

and if like in say in the scenario where everybody just took us takes a sip the last guy in the line has to finish the bottle and it's called don't fuck your brother because you're supposed to yeah drink as much as you can that's crazy yeah it's bad and then after the six months you'll be like a full-time member and then maybe start to get some duties Which is like covering up date rapes. Yeah, that is actually probably one of the duties Full-time thing I know you're at SAE like I do feel like the the perception the cultural perception of this system is so Bad because all I can think about is like all the bad shit that's ever happened and like how it's bro bro i think the reason they get away with this is it's like unilaterally

very secretive like at every level even the lowest totem pole in a fraternity does not like very intentionally does not communicate very much about what happens in the fraternity to people outside of it and there's like a whole social system at universities that is like you're either in greek life or you are not and if you're outside of that bubble it's actually very hard to like interface with it unless you have a personal friend who happens to like be in a fraternity or sorority i'll also defend some frats because i think this is the idea we have of frats, but there are some that are just nerds. Yeah, there's like academic ones. It's like engineering frats.

It's like in the social network when they're coding competition and they're slamming shots. Yeah, that's real. Everybody does that. That's how they made MySpace. And it's how you get a job because then you like apply for Google and it's like, oh, you're part of like, you know, the Fiji or whatever. Yeah, the recruiter is like from Alpha Tau even though he was from California you're from New York and then we're like we're both Alpha Tau-ies and then you get the job this happened on Road Trip the 2004 movie right and that's like Dark Souls which

is also kind of like Final Fantasy have you played the new one this one's not I guess you've been gone no I've been gone I haven't yet people rave reviews rave reviews rave reviews some some controversy, but seems pretty cool I like video dames Me too man. I played a valor game this morning. What the last day of the act He's higher ranked than you right now I know he is I'll beat you by the end of the day End of the day?

I got till 9 p.m. I think Race war the The race war. The war. That's right. Announce it right now. Me and Lover are having a race war. It's just a race. Just a race.

Against time. Well, war is involved, Valentine. There's, it's, call it what it is. It's a race war. Between two friends. And we're, two friends. And we're having it. What are you keeping in my fanny pack for?

How much do you keep your eyes on your own work? Does he have gum? No, I don't have gum. If he has gum, bring it for the class. I have a receipt. What's this? I don't know. He's leaking my receipt right now. Why are you doxing me?

Why are you doxing me? Dude, you tip so fast. This is a bill. This is presumably a restaurant for meal. $120 tip. Pundo. My goat. Look at you.

God, you're such a prick. No, that's tight. I'm not the one who's fucking bringing it out to wave and flaunt. I just keep my receipts. Show some class solidarity. We don't care about how much you took. I didn't bring it up. You don't need it.

Why did we know about it? Yeah, I feel like you kind of planted that there, knowing all this would happen. Yeah, you knew that Aiden would dress like a king and be naked and look through your receipts. All right, Archie, here's the real theft. Aiden's holding up his credit card to the camera. That's how we know if Archie's real. We're not going to tell Archie, we're just going to see if he catches it this week.

Just let that one run. It's the company card, so this is on Nick Wang. If you fail Archie, Nick Wang's job has become harder. That's okay. And that's what delegation is. Yeah, Godspeed. If you were watching this and you saw and it didn't get blurred and you saw, what size purchase would you try?

No, you go hard instantly. Fast. What if it... Yeah, because so many people have got to it already. Like, you needed to see it frame one and then go to Gucci.com. I think traditionally when you steal a credit card or a debit card, go to a gas station you do like a three dollar purchase and if it's successful then you try to do a massive purchase and then you ditch the card instantly that's like the that's like the you know more about fraud than i do really yeah oh that's kind of fun a baby tron

yeah i only know how to get crypto fast dude there was this guy went viral on tiktok because he's doing this video from this pool and he's got like this iced out watch i was literally just explaining fraud and he's just in the pool and he's like yeah so not a lot of people know about this but if you need money fast you can set up an llc and then you can get a business card for your llc yeah and then you can spend max out the cards and And the thing about it, it's limited liability. So the business is liable. Just cancel the business. Get yourself a watch, give yourself a car. Doesn't impact your credit score. And he's like, I bought this $80,000 watch.

I bought a different $100,000 one, sold it, flipped it. I get the cash. This is canceled. Like he's walking you through just a felony there was a twitter post that essentially said the same thing but you can get like a five thousand dollar loan from like state of california for a small business when you're starting one and people like yeah just get it and then fucking get this loan and cancel it you know get this money and someone just was like this is fraud and if you steal money from the government it's it's way easier for them to find it to find you it is really easy to commit fraud steal thieve and scam it is because there's so many people and there's not enough resources to catch them all that's why tax evasion is actually pretty easy and you're just gambling you won't get caught if i were to want to tax evade how

would i do so well on the on the Patreon, the bonus episode, we can tell you. Is it time? Not yet. We got 15 minutes, so we can tell them about it. No, it isn't time. Wait, is it?

No, it's not. Wait, wait, wait. So I got something for you guys. Don't you trust Zipper? I don't trust Zipper. I think Zipper's jumping the gun here. I think you're dumb and no one likes you.

Hey, all balls welcome here. What the fuck? This is just a lot of penis. Where did you get that? I saw this and I thought of you guys. Aiden is showing us a five by five of about 25 to 30 dicks. This is just a lot of penis. Where did you get that? I saw this and I thought of you guys. Aiden is showing us a 5x5 of about 25-30 dishes.

We can't show this. Yeah, but we can on the Patreon. On the premium episode we can show this off and then tag yourself. Yeah, I want us to tag ourselves. Wow. I see mine. But don't tell them. That's so fun. That's so fun.

That's great fun for the whole family. Whoa. This is, I got it. No, this one's just crazy to look at. That's, that is a weird look. Oh my God.

This reminded me. What man? I watched this show. It's called Naked Attraction. It's a British show that's been going on cable television in London for, for years now. And the premise of the show is it's one person presented with six people and they were revealed nude from the ankles up full frontal so it's in

the show does not censor a thing so it starts it's like a girl and six guys and a guy and six girls and it shows it shows tight tight shots on dick and balls it shows tight shots tight shots on dick and balls. Wow. It shows tight shots on vag, on titties. Yeah. And then the final reveals the face. And then throughout the whole process, it'll be like a guy. And I'll be like, it's a great rack. What? And then like eliminate somebody with bad tits.

It's like American Idol, but for boobs and butts. Yeah. And here's the crazy thing. I watch it on YouTube. Yeah. I just, and it was, and I've never seen never seen because i've seen like i've seen boobs on youtube i've never seen dick and ball that tight yeah and that close to my 4k like glistening penis i've never seen vagina yeah that detail in general what it was what is it like what does it

look like so anyway the show hold on have i ever posted the Halo clip from the old, old house? No, I don't think so. Have I ever posted that? I should post that eventually. Yeah, that's one of my favorite videos. Go on. That's it. It's a crazy show that's on YouTube and it blew my mind.

There was also a thing on British TV. I remember from way back. It was like the craziest moments and it was this prank show and it was in this dealership that had two levels and the second level had this like prank show and it was in this dealership that had two levels and one the second level had like this giant glass pane where like people could walk around there's cars in the showroom and when the prank was that there was just two people having really loud rough sex against the glass and all the people on the bottom were like oh my look no look at that and but this girl's just getting like fucked just like

up against this glass and it's like on TV in Great Britain and you're like damn you guys fucking get wild about it they are not

we are prude compared to Britain because we're a Christian nation we are Christian well actually they are incredibly

they're more well not as much yeah more Christian you're Christian I yeah

more yeah more more Christian for sure he's smoking the blunt he is Well, you gay? Yeah. More Christian? You Christian? Yeah. What fucking religion do I love down there? Yeah, more Christian, for sure. He's smoking a blunt, he is. Really? Zipper. All right, you want

another Ludwig game in bed? Oh! Here we go, Ludwig fans. Wait, wait, wait. Let's talk about the terms. Percentage of practicing Christians in each country.

Okay, so it's percentage. It's not number. Percentage, of course. Yeah, yeah. There's more people in the U.S, okay, so it's percentage. It's not number total. Percentage, of course. Yeah, yeah. There's more people in the U.S. than there's the U.K. There's a different level. This is like a Russell Brand video. Across England and Wales, 46% of people identified being Christian.

37% no religion. Six Muslim. 46% for England and Wales? Are we not counting Northern Ireland and Scotland? I guess they're not counting Scotland, but I think it's fine. And this is 2021. So let's go to the US.

46% is the number to beat. This might be tough. To me, I don't feel like there's 40%. There's no way that in the US. 46% practicing. No way it's going to be lower in the US. Because that's a practicing. I think it's lower for sure in the US.

But maybe, I think in the US, there's a lot of people who claim Christian. But on a form. It doesn't matter. They're filling out a form that says, are you practicing Christian? Like, yes.

Okay, self-identified religious affiliation. Catholicism, generic Christian. 20%? You add the top three. So that's 67. Wow. Wait, does the number for Britain also consider Catholics? Yeah.

You can't just say yeah because it doesn't say that. It's just a Christian. Christians and Catholics are different. But if you say Catholicism is different from Christianity. I might give this to Aidan because I read a line that said the U.S. is the largest Christian nation in the world. And you like that. And that's a big thing. But there are more people.

If I'm a fucking Catholic, you tell me I'm Christian, I'd sit me and you outside boxing your fucking ears. You understand me? Yeah, I understand you, but... Vote in the comments. Catholicism is just the first Christianity. Jesus died for my fucking sins. Wait, that's dumb.

You don't believe that, do you? It is true. Yes, that's what the first... And then, dude, what? You think Catholicism is true that's what the first and then dude what you think catholicism is the first version of christianity yes no it's just the most powerful no it's the first that's what started at year zero catholicism and then the fucking martin luther was like i don't know if i rock with this whole catholicism thing anymore and that's when that was the first like divergent thing from Catholicism. Right. Yeah.

Yes. The first thing was Catholicism. Yeah. Because, because in, in Roman shit, the Romans killed Jesus, bro. That was so sad.

I know. Well, Romans did it. Tune into the premium episode where we talk about our relationship with Jesus and what we think about the Romans. Yeah. Also look at this penis chart. If you hit bingo,

call in. All right. See you later. All right. Goodbye, man.