The Yard - Ep. 112 - We’re leaving.

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

This week, the boys talk about new ideas for Ludwig's video, hosting the world's greatest gamer tournament, and how a hacker tried to take down the event...

Okay, we need to intro it. This is my requirement for Slime because he was late and he got coffee bears without telling us. I should start doing requirements for you when you're late. That would be smart. They would stack up to like 45. And I'd feel shame and I'd do them. You didn't think of it. I should start doing requirements for you when you're late. They would stack up to like 45. And I'd feel shame and I'd do them. You didn't think of it. I thought of it. Look, this is great and all,

but do not talk to me until I've had my coffee. Why are you supposed to laugh? Why did you say that? I can't cop to why I have to say that. Slime was late today, and I'm making him suffer by making him do punishments. Punishments are just a boomer joke from a woman who works in accounting. Yeah, it's a choogycore.

Yeah, choogycore. I love that word. You know what? What does that mean? The word itself is choogy. Why? It's just out. Wait, what do you mean? It's out. What does that mean? It's out amongst two. It's out. word itself is choogy. Why? It's just out. Wait,

what do you mean? It's out. What does that mean? It's out amongst two. It's out. I don't know what he means.

You can't say it. Well, it's because it's for our generation. It's for millennials. Do you have any choogy friends? Because if you don't,

then you can't say that word. Are you? Yes. We have to actually have Archie. Yeah. He says it. Why can't I say because it's like if you have to actually have Archie. Yep. He says it all the time. He says it all the time.

Why can't I say it? Because it's like if you were to say the N word. The hard Y, dude. That is really gross. That was weird. You're weird for that. You need a haircut. And he called, before the pod, he called donut holes Timbits.

Yeah. Let's talk about it. It's not donut holes. It's munchkins. He called them munchkins. It was funny. Which I think is offensive in a lot of ways There was this three way spider man thing where

Lonewing walked up to my desk with the Timbits. He pulls out the box And I was like oh timbits And then he looks at me And he takes the box away I was sitting outside of this argument because he's like It's munchkins. It's timbits and it's like Two colorblind people arguing if a Rubik's cube is solved

And I'm like you're both so wrong I love Duncan. I've been going to Duncan so much this past month This is not sponsored content. It's not. It's literally like what why is it front and center get it out of here? No, no, no, it's- it's- we need tape to cover the logo like a monitor Yeah, I want people to go to Duncan. I like going there cuz they treat me like a piece of shit That is how that is how people in fucking... We do that all the time. And nobody wants to be there. And I'm like, give me a coffee.

And they're like, fine. You got treated too good for too long at that old nice coffee shop where we used to live. I'm ready to be treated like trash. And what's funny is they treat you trash online as well because I tried to DoorDash it. And I wanted to order munchkins and you couldn't pick the flavors. Yeah, because if you DoorDash... If dash dunkin donuts so wait you're making the door dash person select the munchkins you want the because they like it's like they box it they box it before and so the only thing duncan lets you do is like surprise me oh wow that's so funny you

can order 50 and it's just all surprise me. You can order 5, it's still surprise me. They just like take it like they're busting a table. No worker at Dunkin' Donuts they get the surprise and they're like, oh my god. I'm gonna pick the best 5. No, it's just like, oh fuck, you get the munchies and the bucks.

You pick 50 of the same one for sure. Not everyone who works at Dunkin's from Boston. No, but you have to do the action if you work there. That's definitely not true. It's not true. They bust in people from Boston all over the country. That's why every person at a Tim Hortons has a Canadian accent. Yeah.

Well, that's true because it's only in Canada. Like if a guy from Saudi Arabia, born and raised, ended up working at a Tim Hortons later in life. Yeah. He used to turn it on but he'd be talking all you know he'd be talking like fucking Ricky in the trailer part. Order some pepperoni. He's not a good Canadian guy.

He does good voices. I hate that. I only do good pockets. When you ask me to do a word I'm not ready to say I just throw up good pockets. When you ask me to do a word I'm not ready to say, I just throw up on myself. Do you think if we opened a brothel for little people that that would be

a good... This is like what Willy Wonka did. Who are the... Are the clients little people or are the... It's a great question Aiden. You know, that's up to God. No, no, no, it's up to us because we'd be good owners and we'd make sure it's not fetishists.

So we background check them? We would let tall people come through but only if it's like, hey I'm just here to pipe not because they're small but because I love pipe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hey, I'm just here to pipe, not because they're small, but because I love pipe. No, no, no, Chasey. Where would the golden tickets be placed for a place like this? Like, you wouldn't put them in chocolate bars. That's a good point.

We have to, like, put them in the lotto ticket machine outside the grocery store. Oh, I know. Okay, well, it's different, I guess. You put it in the RC Cola slot of a vending machine. That's like, who the fuck's pressing that? So someone accidentally presses it and it's like... I got a ticket to the little people brothel. Like it's the fucking Ghibli museum? It's a wax museum, but for little people who are prostitutes.

All the socks are sold out today. Fuck. Fuck. but for little people who are prostitutes. All the thoughts are sold out today. Fuck. Do you think the madam could be like a slightly taller little person? No.

She has to be a little taller. Well, now we're being offensive to the height. Yeah, if anything, it should be a little shorter because it's not about the height because they can do anything. I hate it. I want to get out, actually. You want to get out of I hate it I want to get out actually you want to get out I want to get a family-friendly youtuber once again out the jacks all right I just ordered half a left all right love we guys hit the eject button. We're now floating in the sky.

And a parachute. You know what I was thinking about before we did this? Because you were saying about how you went to Warped Tour when you used to have long, luscious hair. Yeah, I used to look like Scott Stapp from Creed. Yeah, or Kellen Quinn. And what if they brought back I Heart Boobies bracelet, but they collabed it with like Ed Hardy? Would that go? No. Is Ed ironic ready to ironically be sick again? I think so I think we're that we're at that point. I think rhinestones have come back

I haven't understood a word you guys have said it's so long Silverstein from Creed Imagine imagine a dad. He's a little scruffy. I'm thinking of E-Rob. Yeah, okay. That works. Put a trucker hat on E-Rob. He wears that already.

And then give him a household income of $220,000. I'm still thinking of E-Rob. Yep. And then imagine he's wearing a shirt and the shirt is covered with rhinestones in the shape of a dragon. Whoa.

That is Ed Hardy core. I don't even understand it anymore. And this guy still loses to Void at POC. Ed Hardy? Yeah. What a fucking shame. I wish he was rocking some Ed Hardy shit, just walking around with like a...

I'll bring him back. A big flames collared shirt. And the back is, again, like a dragon or a cool... Is this like true religion jeans? If you Google Ed Hardy, it's kind of like... You would definitely see someone wearing trues and Ed Hardy, for sure. Like a rich dad. Fuck yeah.

We looked at this on the podcast a long time ago. Right next to a $100 bill. Because Ed Hardy was a rich dad. Fuck yeah. We looked at this on the podcast a long time ago. Right next to a $100 bill. Because Ed Hardy was a tattoo artist. Right. So all of it is based in American traditional tattooing. Why is there... Wait, how much did that cost? Dude, if Aiden...

It was $55. If Aiden came through with the Ed Hardy fit, I would never make fun of him again. Ed Hardy in the balloon pants? Dude, the Ed Hardy fit, I would never make fun of him again. Ed Hardy in the balloon pants? Dude, the Ed Hardy track suit. Dude! You got the Ed Hardy fives, the lows, and then you got the true religion Ed Hardy collab jeans. You should always come with your zip-up shirt and then unzip it to reveal yourself like a Ferrero Rocher with a fun surprise on the side.

Our little Kinder egg. Yeah, you could write something every time Our little kinder bueno How Canadian of me You know one of the cutest things Aiden does If I was his girlfriend Like not his girlfriend that he has now Like you know what I'm saying

I'm not her You are his sexual partner and lover I'm his sexual partner and lover This is off the back by the way You're the one exploring his body Explore it. I'm like a pioneer. You know all parts of it.

We were at the casino this weekend and in the waiting line to get at the poker table, Anthony starts to explain to Miles in great detail about how

if he met a girl with my body, my personality, my general outlook on life, he would settle down with her. I'd be like, you know what, I think I can marry her. Oh my god, we were in the good old days.

What? What are you talking about? The poker room's so packed. It's so packed in the poker room. I'm just letting my friend know that if I explored his body every inch, I would want to settle down with it. Yeah, if he aligned with my sexual preference

That I would I would marry him And become a dual citizen It's like when Stewie Griffin discovered gay people I never saw that He's like it's just you And they hang out and they like bang And Brian's like yeah that sounds great

It's really nice And I'm like, you know what? Maybe it doesn't have to be a woman. And I just go down my journey. I've never considered. Yeah. Okay. But what I was going to say, I lost the train of thought, but I do want to stay on this thread.

I'm a pioneer for you. Okay. Right. I'm like, I'm on the front range. I am the Magellan of looking through the oraces of your body. Do you ever notice how when Slime says for you, it's never for them. It's always for him. It's for the you that's in his head.

I'm going through all the moments like a film reel in my head right now. Okay, I remember now. I'm a statue for you now. One of the cutest things Aiden does is... What are you shrugging for? Nothing. You're getting less cute. Why am I cute?

He's not snapping at me like that. One of the cutest things Aiden does is he'll zip up his jacket all the way. He'll do this. He'll put his shirt over his mouth and he'll get inside of it. Or he'll just be at his desk and he'll have his hood up and like like kenny from south park or he'll just be like he'll have his thing like up to his nose just staring at his computer and it's very cute because he just does it if you ever you ever just

imagine he's eating a little granola bar in there he's like and aiden doesn't do this for anyone else but just because he like it i should like it I think it's a coping mechanism What are you coping with today? I do it when I get stressed Are you stressed cause we're leaving soon to Paris? To gay Paris? What are we gonna fucking do? The guy who wishes he was born in Sweden

Is like what are we gonna do in Europe? It's Paris dude we'll eat good food It's Paris I don't know I was born Have you been to here seven times before? I just want to evoke a reaction. I see it's a person's pipe. Look you think gay Perry is bail ring Y'all are Jackson to one of you commoners. Yeah, but to me didn't want me like a fluent right

I'm gonna like affluent to enjoy because you know, I think it's gonna be pretty navigable with your sister Did you hit her up? It's good. I did saying that sentence Is so funny, you know my sister In our group chat and was like Ludwig can I have your sister's number not a bit I realized when I texted the number after Anthony sent it to me, I realized that uh, You gave it to her? I already had her number. Yeah.

Fuck you, dude. What? That's lame. He came in my room. What? That's homie shit. That's lame. That's why I already had her number.

That's not homie to me. That's not homie to me. Dude, he's not- there is no intention to talk to your sister. Are you calling him a foamy? That's a foamy move. How? Because you just gave up her number, narked it, straight up. It's not a resource to covet.

Oh, a phone number's not a resource. Oh, let's just read out Slime's phone number. It's not a resource to covet. Your sister's phone number. Everybody at home, Slime's phone number is eight. I don't actually know the rest. Yeah, you wouldn't.

But it is eight. Aiden came in my room and he was like, I've invented a new sexy dance and I want to show Ludwig's sister. Oh, that did happen. I keep forgetting this. You know why? Like Wednesday Addams?

It's because it needed work. That's why I keep forgetting. He showed me, and it does need work, but it's something new for sure. I've never seen it. It's like a mixture of the hand jive and the Dougie. I was going to say a hand job. He just jerked himself off. There's a lot of stages to it.

V Money's... He's like, that was stage one. It's like four minutes later. There's ten stages. V Money taught me the Bollywood dance move at David's wedding. The light bulb? Yeah, so you turn a light bulb with your hands, and then you bring it down, and then you turn more.

Ooh. And he's like, yeah, you're getting it. You're getting it. You're still white, though. And I'm like, yeah. You're getting it. You're getting it. You're still white though. And I'm like, okay, Victor. I feel you. I'm saying I heart boobies and Montclair and Aiden spends $4,000

on it. You're going to love Paris because you're just going to spend money. Me? Yeah. You know I've been there, right? Yeah. I hear you're buying a lot of things. But you haven't been there since you got a lot of bread. I have. When'd you go? He went recently. Bro, when he went I'm recently last bro I went a year ago yeah you want a year ago you're a bad friend what was that I took girlfriend there wait who's in Paris? That is the lamest parody all time.

And they're just like deciding what Harry Potter house they are. When Weird Al drops that, it's over. They're talking about how much they liked Rocco's modern life. Did you guys hear about what happened yesterday? About why the internet went down? Yeah. Are we allowed to talk about this? We can talk about it now. I think it's all resolved. Uh, did you guys hear about what happened yesterday? About why the internet went down?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are we allowed to talk about this? We can talk about it now. I think it's all resolved. We're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about it now. So I did World's Greatest Gamer. Yangling called in a BT.

He called in a BT. Bluetooth. Right. A Bluetooth. No, it's a BT, a Blunderbuss. What are you thinking? If you have to call it in. Battle Tiger. Battle Tiger.

Battle Tiger. That's like probably a code name. Yeah, if you did call it a Battle Tiger, they probably also would do something. There's a Battle Tiger underneath every seat in that venue. We were running the event day one. There was a small internet outage. It went amazing.

I was pumped for day two. I was like, oh, it's going to be great. And then an hour into the day the internet just fucking goes kaputs for a full two hours about like just every time we go up it goes down yeah uh and it's because we got ddos yeah which we didn't talk about on the broadcast yeah you don't want to give too much attention to it but basically cs go is such an archaic fucking game that when you press the tilde key, it brings up a console that says where you fucking were born. If you're in a public lobby, I think it has your IP. It shows your IP address.

That's how it got leaked. You know who deduced this? You know who's the person who diagnosed this problem? Yan. That's so sick. Yan was like, we were sitting at a table with James, who's just like, I don't know what's going on. And he's like, maybe it's the console.

Yeah. And James is like, what? And he's like, I'm like oh, yeah, definitely that dude That's wild actually. Yeah. Yeah, so the IP address Matchmaking and everyone was allowed to stream there at the world's greatest gamer competition I think I'm confusing because it went out day one separately for like five minutes So we thought it was oh Not a DDoS day one. And then it kept happening every time we'd go to the couch because of some-

The idea is that there is a young teenager in Eastern Europe. We always blame Eastern Europeans. Is it our bias? You know, it's also British kids.

It's Brits. Most people who SWAT like American streamers are fucking little UK London. It's a British kid with no- In Gloucester Yes, yes as it's become more economically dire in the UK the children are desperate for entertainment

Unemployment is skyrocketing and all they can do is sit at their computer and DDoS and BT This is what are she would be doing if he wasn't employed here. We're saying we've saved him in the streets I'm so BTs occasionally. He can't help it. He's in his blood. But yeah, the theory is that the person got the IP address to DDoS. A DDoS is basically you're taking the IP address of something and you're sending a bunch of internet traffic to it at once to swarm it,

and then it just it like destroys the traffic capabilities of it and there's like tools that can do this and we'd like the person the the archie like person probably got the ip address saved it for day two and then every time we went up they would hit the button i think it was found day two because that's the siesta either way they would hit the button when we went up to see it go down like a like a seal and then i learned a lot about ips yeah the only way to figure out what my p address was well i knew what an ip address was but you have to change the ip address what does it stand for yeah international protocol

international protocol so close international just protocol. You're so close. International protocol. Just take one second. Internet is international. Italian protocol. Italian protocol. Italian protocol. That's a BT. Italian protocol. If it senses one on your server, it shuts down.

Dude, if I ever start an action movie, that's what it'll be called. Italian protocol. It's like the Italian job. It's somebody booting up low orbit ion cannon over and over. That's the whole movie you can call your isp and have them change the ip but they'll only change the last digit and then you can just go one two three four five six seven eight nine zero and this is known to people who do like to do this shit so you can just you know you got 10 digits and then you have a verifiable way to see

if it goes down or not and the funny thing thing is, we never swapped the whole IP, because that took a while. The guy just fell asleep. Yeah. And we just were able to keep the joke on. He's like, oh, good day. I'm going to go to bed now. Oh, so European. Yes. We got him dead to rights. Dead to rights, yeah. 100% European. Maybe he was living in

Eastern Europe, and a bear walked into his house. And he was like, oh! And he sat down at dinner with it. Back in like the competitive COD community, like game battles and stuff,

like de-aussing was so big because you would just connect to a game like on console and then every IP would just be known by the user. Oh, fuck.

So like you would, like we'd be playing like, you know, competitive matches and stuff and then you'd get de-aussed and it was like, all you can do is film your games and report it.

So it was very common for everyone who played competitive to know how to DDoS. So you'd always just be like, I'm not going to DDoS. But if they DDoS us, they're also getting DDoSed and then people would have clan tags that say DDoSed. So you know you're against a team that could do

it back. That's nuclear doctrine. It was very hard. It was like do it back. That's nuclear doctrine. It was very hard. It was like, holy shit. That is nuclear war. I was like 14. I was learning how to do that. Yeah, you were learning what the ultimate weapon can do to the world. You were in your own bay of pigs.

You know where else this was common? Was the Mario Kart Wii community. Really? Yeah. And because you don't have built-in comms in Mario Kart, right? Everybody used Skype. So people would run programs where if you had somebody's Skype ID, you could run their ID through a command prompt.

I remember this. And then it would give you their IP. God, you guys are evil people. And then people would DDoS during Mario Kart Clan Wars. So how often does that happen? I'm just standing my ground. It's the good people with DDoSing abilities that save us does it happen? I'm just standing my ground. I think it's the good people with DDoSing abilities

that save us. That's what I'm saying, bro. Yeah, yeah. Fucking guy, guy who finishes Bowl of Borscht. He's truly, truly a hero.

Pops, what's Bowl of Borscht? Oh my God. Pops, what is that? He's not cultured. I don't know. Borscht. How often did people DDoS in Mario Kart? Uh, not super, super often, but it was definitely, it was like a pressing enough issue.

Like, you know, people were doing it. Skype had an exploit and even up until like a couple, I think it was a couple years before COVID or something, there was a Dota tournament and one of the players was still using Skype. Even though Discord was like the way. Got a of the ip just tanks the tournament and the and for esports and shit like dota there's a big interest in doing it because people have money on it yeah it's like you'll take a position and then you'll ddos mbs would never let that happen and then fight a bear that's why i'm very scared of gambling sponsors like for betting. And spiders. And spiders because they also can deed us with their multiple hands. Our brothel for little people will have no spiders.

Or gambling. No gambling. No gambling in our brothel? You can't like bet. You can't like bet. You gamble outside the premises. Who's the first madame picked? You can't do that.

You can't do that. Outside of the premises. We don't want any match fixing at the little person's brothel. Is throwing money at a stripper not gambling? No, that's not gambling. Not at all. That's paying for a service. That's tipping.

That's tipping. It's a patronage. We will have one baccarat table. That's it. That's legal. Okay. And if you hit the dragon. We are gambling now.

Just to be clear. We're not sports betting, but we're gambling. Which is fine. Yeah. In our brothel, sure. in our brothel sure in our brothel everything's fine i think shake actually brought this up when when we were at the casino as well he was he was like no why hasn't there ever been like a match fixing scandal in melee uh or no it was one of the guys at our table and he asked if there was a match fixing problem in smash i was like bro there's just not enough money for anybody to fix. I mean, there's chops.

There have been several, yeah. There's chops at low levels, but other than that... I think that's different. Yeah. Wait, what would be a match-fixing scandal? You mean like big prize pool teams throw? Like where somebody like Zayn throws because there's so many... There's a bunch of people betting on Betway on the match,

and he gets like a cut. It's just like, whatnot. Not enough people to have money to bet big enough sums. Because all the bets are cash $5 in the crowd at the event. Yeah. Venmo servers get real hot during a tournament. I was talking about it because I brought all the gamers out to dinner. And it was a weird-ass group.

Like, everyone actually got along great. And there was a lot of friendships made. But it was like. Everyone's happy. It was like Clayster, Call of Duty guy, Jerex guy jrex dota guy tens and they're all talking clayster a slime fan I overheard this conversation. No way he came up and talked to me Really? He's like I just want to say like a big fan and I was like, that's crazy. You're You're good at game. It's like you're so you're famous

You're like you have something that i want which is skill and game yeah uh yeah he's very sweet but he was like yeah it's crazy because you just you grow up you pick a game because you like it you stick with that game become a pro in it but it's like kind of rng what game you picked yeah yeah it was crazy you know i met at this event i met seijam we talked a lot and uh he used to wrestle at my high school. What? Yeah, I knew he wrestled. I didn't know he was at your high school. Like, not, like, at... He didn't, like, go to my school,

but he was, like, that's where, like, his matches always were. He played a lot of wrestling. So we were in the same place in high school because we were, like, he's only two years older than me. And the same hair.

You guys have a lot in common. Me and Sajam? Yeah. He's got thick thighs. A lust for love. Does he have a lust for love? Are you describing yourself? Well, I guess I am.

I guess me and Duke have a lot in common. Hey, Aiden. Yeah. Tell me something that makes you happy. Working out. Just kidding. Don't care. Slime.

We don't care. Tell me something about HelloFresh's delicious meals. Here's the thing. It's a fall routine because it's autumn now. It's almost autumn, but it's also autumn now. And when you get into a routine, you get some poutine. You get some poutine for your routine. Write that down, Aiden.

Write that down. Quit looking dumbfounded. Write that down. Take your pick from 40 weekly recipes, over 100 add-on items, snacks, easy lunches, desserts. You want to be pescatarian? You want to be like Aiden and eat only 800 calories a day? I live with Aiden.

I know he only eats popcorn. It's the only thing that he makes at home. He only eats popcorn and Coke Zero. It's really healthy. So, you know, if Aiden had HelloFresh, I feel like you could diversify maybe some of you. What would you? I don't do poutine or popcorn. Yeah, that's why you don't like it.

But we like it a lot because I'll bring it home. I got Miles living with me. He loves chefing it up. We get a box of stuff. I plop down the box. I say, get to work. I wanted to start cooking all my meals but I refused to go shopping, which I didn't want to do. And I started eating these and it's so much easier because they just send it to you, Aiden. So if you don't like cooking or grocery shopping normally, or if you have an Australian friend

that has been in your home for months and can cook meals for you. Whether or not you know that he's there. Actually, if you use our card, if you go to HelloFresh, if you use our code, go to HelloFresh.com slash the 50 the yard. Use code 50 the yard. You get 50% off plus an additional 15% off next two months. And if you do that, you get one free Australian. Yeah, it comes with an Australian guy.

Yeah. And his name is... It's usually like... Mungo. Like Jacko or like Mungo. Mungo, Jacko, Jackson. Or Breaks. Oh, Jackson with an X.

That's a big one. That's hellofresh.com slash 50THEYARD, 50 the number 5-0. 50THEYARD. For America's number one meal kit and Australia's number one friend that it'll come with. That, yeah. They get a working visa and everything. And thanks to HelloFresh. It's all above board.

Yeah, don't worry about the logistics. And thanks to HelloFresh for continuing to sponsor us after these rates. It's crazy. So, goodbye. It was a cool event. I think for because i tried to follow like every esport i could growing up and pretty much everybody involved in this event was like somebody that i recognized from like as a kid or or watching in like the last

few years so there's a weird fusion of people it made me really want there's this there's this unreleased summit content piece that is like uh different casters from different games casting cs go yeah that never got published and it made this event reminded me of it and it really made me want that to go out because it's like i think it's like yipes and like chris matrix like commenting a cs match yeah yeah i edited that yeah it's not it never got released i don't remember I probably have it somewhere I gotta look apparently the I forget what one of their names are

apparently the rocket league guys killed it yeah they were like amazing yeah I know I also filmed this I remember now we had this crazy setup where like like we had to like get all these people into a discord then I was like recording their source files through the discord call and like the whole fucking thing yeah there was a bot for it i remember you told me yeah craig bot craig bot um

craig does craig bot the bet dude i've been saying i've been saying one of the best unreleased content pieces at summit ever was locals uh fgc there was a like they flew it was when i got hired so i wasn't like part of the filming process, but they flew to New York and they interviewed like a bunch of FGC heads. That never came out? No, it never got released. And it's all about how locals are like this important thing to protect. And then after this, of course, COVID, locals get destroyed.

I was like, dude, it would be so sick to go back and get the footage and then make it now. Yeah. Because they don't have, they don't have the context. Of the future. So it's like archival. And then you make this thing. In the future where it's like. Then.

2020 happened. It's dystopian. Before the bomb. It would be so good. That would have been pretty good. Before the bomb. It would be better than the original thing. Yeah.

Because it's more. Because everything they were saying was true. And then. The opposite happened. Where they got fucked. Every. You guys are fucking. Who was it?

Aiden was like. Lamenting. Publicly. Like. Slippy killed. Slippy killed a piece of. got fucked every you guys are fucking who was it aiden was like lamenting publicly like slippy killed slippy killed a piece of the heart of yeah ryobi made a thread and i replied to it i thought ryobi actually put it really well there was like and me and miles talked about this for a long time after like the next day um there when when you initially got into smash you know whether it be melee or not in that kind of like 2013 to 2018 time period i think there was this real sense of adventure about the game like you would go to people's homes you'd meet up with people you'd never met before you'd go to fests you'd drive like far just to go to tournaments or just to like practice a little on that day like i would after my classes were over uh at

community college i would drive up this into this like neighborhood in bellingham washington and play every day with these like two guys that lived in this house in like the woods and uh and i i did that every day for like probably like eight months where he cut his teeth on asking guys at grocery stores to go to New Zealand. But I think this idea of wherever you go, whatever you're doing, always having your controller on you because you might wind up in a situation where you could play with people and practice for maybe just 30 minutes to a couple hours. It's like going out into the world.

When the 10-year-old gets sent out to play Pokemon for the rest of his life you know yeah yeah but and you're like that whereas like now i think that experience for a newer player because you start on slippy and you practice online like you would any other game i think that experience is kind of gone and like this is a chuggy take it's a chuggy take yeah it's a chuggy take chuguggy take. I'm not lamenting the fact that we have online. I just like, I, you know, we all shared in this like wonderful experience. And now people are less likely to have that experience. And that makes me a little sad. I think, I think it's a bit back in my day.

I think, cause I think I met him at a regional and I think the regionals still exist. And there are still valid valid reasons to travel yeah it's more accessible in a way that you don't have to travel to just practice so i think the level of play has increased as a result oh absolutely there's trade-offs i i think i would not if i could like bring it all back and reverse all the changes i wouldn't do that it's not this idea of like we need to go back to the old way and slippy was a mistake and people shouldn't play online It's just like there is an aspect of playing in person and practicing in person that was lost. That was a nice thing Yeah, it's true. Also your take Ludwig is just simply guy who played puff at his local

Oh, I don't think locals really they weren't actually that cool. No, I'm not saying locals aren't cool I'm just saying like in the like, let me give an example. There's this Fox player and I was at a party and I didn't realize they were a Fox player and asked to do a Fox ditto. And they're like an older school player. And I end up just dusting them to best of three. And they've been trained in locals and stuff.

Long time. Yeah, long, long local player. They were a slippy kid, right? And I could tell that their level of play was much lower on Fox. stuff well a long time yeah a long long local player they were a slippy kid right and uh and i could tell that there's their level of play was much lower on fox on fox their main yes on their main character but i didn't know that so i went up to them after uh and i was like what who's your main and and uh this guy mattoos shake drizzle it's like it's it's actually fox. Dude, Ludwig farmed Shake's Fox and then didn't know

it was his main character. It was actually so good. I went up. This is like this past weekend. You didn't know Shake played Fox? I always conflate that Shake plays Marth because he worked with Zane so closely.

He's a huge Zane stan. I know he plays Fox. He's told it to me multiple times, but I just forget because we don't play. And then, so I said, Fox did, oh,

not thinking. Yeah. Just like, hey, let's not do mains. Let's not sweat it up. Yeah. And then I beat him.

And then I walk up. I'm like, dude, who's your main? And he's like, come on, bro. Dude,

that's so BM. Oh, that's so good though. Oh, I could hear him saying it. Like, come on. Yeah. I was also given a shake. The farmer's so BM. Oh, it's so good, though. Oh, Shake, I could hear him saying it. Like, come on, bro. Yeah, I was also given Shake the Farmer's Only Special. No!

And he was head in hands, and he just kept going, no, no, no! Yeah, that's the Shake. Shake, he's such a fun, he's such a graceful loser. Because, like, you farm him as if you are driving a combine harvester, and there's just grain flying into your big bin. And it's just little tiny shakes just flailing

around. And you make fun of him. You say like, farmers only, city folks just don't get it. He's like, good games, man. Oh, I love that fucking guy. I still got it. I still got that. You do still got it. I got that melee touch. I'd give you the hands

of Street Fighter. I really want to play Logan Street Fighter. I'd work you like I worked Tenz. He plays a game for two fucking seconds and you think he's the best.

I worked Tenz. No you didn't. Have you heard of him? I beat him one in seven games. That's bad. I was going to say. I did some work.

Do you beat Tenz grabs all the time? Tenz only grabs gamers. He grabs with Yuri's feet. Take the throw. Take the throw. And then seven throws later. Don't take the throw.

Get out. Yeah, I did, Aiden. You know what's funny too? Again, yet another slime was right and should be celebrated. Awarded. Slime should be put on a podium. Given a big award.

I was like, you and me should play Street Fighter when it came out. It would be really fun. Or even you should play against podium. Given a big award. I was like, you and me should play Street Fighter, like when it came out, like it would be really fun. Or even like you should play against somebody, like this game's fun. And he's like, mm, no. Mm, no. Plays it one fucking time with tens. Now it's cool.

Because the cool kid did it. Because the cool young handsome- Young rich penis money! You know what I like? I'm piggybacking. Stop, young rich penis money played the game and it's cool now. Want to piggyback? Okay. What piggyback? Go ahead, piggybacking. Young Rich Penis Money played the game and it's cool now. I want to piggyback. Okay.

Piggyback. Go ahead, piggyback. When he... I love when Slime will have some sort of verbal tick or joke he'll lock onto for like a month. Yes. And then you bust it out on the big stage. I love it. Like you beta test the jokes.

And then I'm watching, ooh, there's 50,000 people on stream. And I'm watching Ludwig ask Tenz if they'll be friends forever. And I'm like, ooh, I wonder where that came from. And then Tenz instantly says no. Yup, yup. You're never ready for that one. Yeah, slime is nothing but a treasure trove at the very least of sayings and phrases. You farmed me for my

diseased brain. I love buried in a pyramid. I know, you started saying that. That was great. It was a great line. And I'm like, yeah, bitch. Listen to me sometimes. I do listen to you. The one I won't take from you is I think nine dogs are easier than one.

I kept saying that on commentary. Every time someone said the X-Defiant guy, it turned out to be an old Cod Pro. Old Cod Pro's a dev now on X-Defiant. Wait, X is a dev? Yeah. That's crazy.

And he sat down and I'm like, I thought he was just like a corporate shill, but he was like a gamer. A Cod gamer. He was real shit. He was on the best team for quite some time. I heard there was a little bit of a faux pas because someone on the couch was like,

I think it was maybe Kony. He was like, oh, do you play for Complexity? What did he say? He played for Optic? And he's like, no, Complexity. And then Tommy, after the show, it wasn't Tommy, someone else told me, he's like, that was a bad thing to say

because apparently he was like beefing real hard with Optic back in the day. So there was a big... They're pussies and shit. There was a bad thing to say because apparently he was like beefing real hard with yeah i don't remember back then it was so there was a big they're pussies and shit there was a big rivalry he the team he was on so he's on complexity and i think they turned into evil geniuses for some time as well what but they were it was like aches and crimsics and a few other people and the biggest rivalry was between them and optic and they were the better team for sure but optic and cod has always had this enormous following like uh you know maybe like the first team yeah they were just the first big team so when they came up right it's like 80 percent of the audience is like automatically in favor of one team no matter what so it's like it

was kind of like the nade shot scumpy like they were kind of era they were like the phase of competitive cod yeah and phase were just the guys that like they were like montage makers also had a competitive team but in this world of competitive call of duty optic was at the time at the time they didn't at the like the beginning they didn't it was the very beginning optic before had the competitive team and phase was just like they were just montage makers. Dude, this guy, he's sitting on the couch.

I started asking him, do you think it'd be easier to take care of nine dogs or one dog? Right. That's a good question. You're asking this to aches. Yeah. And he said, what?

And he said, he said one dog because it's less dogs. And then slime said, ah, but the dogs would take care of each other. And he said, well, you didn't phrase the question well because you said I would have to take care of them. And then Slime was like, you should know that of dogs. I did.

I did kind of give him shit for not not knowing what I was saying. Is this like a parabola where like in your mind, dogs are harder than one but nine dogs gets easier than four. We actually talked about this because Kony was like, oh wait what about eleven dogs? What about 400 dogs? You're like, uh, too many dogs. I was like, eleven, too many dogs. Can't do that. Because then they'd form cliques, they'd bully, someone would be left behind. Nine? Perfect amount of dogs.

I think at one point I was like, if there's not enough space, then you can't have that many dogs. There's nine dogs. Every dog has two friends. Yes. Wait. Right. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah.

You don't have to question. They can drop into groups of three at any time. They have two friends. Yeah. It's like three to one odds. We don't count them. It's two to one odd. They brief me right before Akes gets on the couch and they say, hey,

you cannot ask when the game comes out. I can't believe you did this. It's the only rule for X-Defiant. And instantly, because all of chat, all day was spamming when does X-Defiant come out? Because when I announced that, I didn't realize how hype people were for it. Like Brady Thief, who's on Moist, was like, dude, you have to tell me when it comes out. And so the moment he says, I'm like, when's it come out? No, what happened was I asked him about the nine dogs question we go back and forth he

reveals to me that he doesn't think about things like this which is annoying and then because he's busy developing a triple a title that's annoying of him though he should think about these things think about these things whether or not it's easier to do yes because abstract concepts can help him be a better dev yeah you think You think? All right. And so. He does think that. Oh, my tongue. So we get through it. And then Ludwig says, hold on, let me ask you an even stupider question.

When does this game come out? And he really put him to the test. Because it's like, you're a guy who sits down and you're ready to, like, promote this thing you've been working on. And you've been in the industry for a long time. And the one thing that the guy who's Made the event says it cannot happen Happens and I'm like Ludwig is just swinging his dick at somebody so was it the YouTube person asked you not to ask that question No, who's like x defiant requested this?

The client there was a couple Pause the event ran well like it people liked it. I think it achieved its goal. People respect Void as a gamer. I think he proved that he's better. He proved it. So did Electronic Robert. Electronic Robert's number two. And there's a few flaws that can be improved. I think next year would go well. But one of the

things that went bad was LEGO 2K was like, hey, we've got to be a little more careful in this game. You know, in terms of brand safety, because it's a, like, G-rated game or something. And so we're like, all right, no worries, no worries, no worries. We'll have a little break between CS

and this. We did Coney Cake thing. And they're like, okay, great. Just make sure nobody, like, drunk or something commentates. And then Lego 2K starts and Mango hops on. Oh my god. Mango like a Titan like oh no it's Big Joe

fucks this game it's like Mario Kart it's like dude no and he's got the boomstick in his nose oh my god and he's just like

got it stuck in his nose he's like fucking Lego stupid and they're like I saw this picture the picture of him with it up his nose and him like

over Clayster's shoulders grabbing it. Dude, he, oh my God, all events. So me and Mango are supposed to get tattooed and we didn't, we didn't go because my girlfriend has COVID and I didn't want, I didn't know if I had COVID yet, which I ended up not having it, but I didn't want to go get a tattoo if I potentially had COVID. So I told the tattoo artist, Mango gets mad at me, which is insane because I'm organizing everything. The fact that he's mad that like it's not happening i'm like

go fuck yourself he's like he's like uh you ruined everything and i'm like okay sure i know how to deal with him so i'm like yeah you're right i ruined everything and he's like uh why do you get covid and i'm like i never had covid that's not what happened he's like you have covid and i'm like no i don't and then the whole event if he passed me and I was in a group of people, he would lean in and go, he is COVID. And then the people would be like, do you have COVID?

And I'm like, no, no, I do not. I do not have COVID. And then he'd be like, he does. That's so funny.

That's so fucking funny. You know what else happened on Lego? Cause we were told as casters, just like, no, just no bad language really. Honestly. And it's fine. It's like, you know what? A game Lego? Because we were told, as casters, just like, just no bad language, really. And it's fine. It's like, you know what? A game's, this is how the industry goes. It's like, yeah, we can not swear.

And then the first thing I see in the first fucking race is someone gets exploded. And in that game, they call it getting bricked. And you're bricked up? You get bricked. That is so sick. And I'm like, bricked up? You get bricked. That is so sick. And then I'm like, bricked? What's that? And then Ludwig just tries to smooth over it.

It was basically the Ludwig and Slime Malicious Compliance Olympics. Yeah. You shouldn't be playing that game. That's a game for me to play. I had a little fun. You guys should have been running the bit that's like, oh, and avoid getting bricked up in the corner and like you don't know so i did what i did because it actually was really rare to happen it's crazy to have in the beginning of the match because you don't really blow up a lot you don't get bricked a lot you don't get bricked a lot often yeah you some people have

a harder time with it that's right yeah especially when they're drinking at the event it's in some so so we're playing and i ludwig smoothed over it and i'm like ludwig what does it mean when they've gotten bricked and ludwig looks at me which is crazy because the shit he was pulling all fucking event he looks at me and he's like and i'm like okay like silently what was the gate thing and then after so after legoK, it's Tetris. And Tetris, like, our muzzles got taken off, you know? We're like, finally.

Because it's Tetris. It's for real adults. I mean, if you played it when it came out, you're 40 years old. No, that's what I'm saying. It's an adult game. Yeah, finally, the liberals allowed us to take off our mask. And we had to choose our pronouns, which was annoying. And then finally, we can talk.

We can talk with full freedom because there's no more Lego on the screen. But it's still a YouTube event. So it was basically like, don't go too crazy. Don't go nuts. And I take off my muzzle. And it's Tetris time.

And what do I see on the screen when Taffo is there with us? And his giant calves! And his giant fucked up calves that are bigger than Nicky and Lane's implants. He squats like as much as you do. Nah. He does. He's close. And we're watching and what do we see on the Tetris board but a gaping hole where there should be a block. And so we just talk about how, you know, Jerick's-

He's gape for me, Dubbin. He's gape for me. Dubbin, he's gate. He's gate for you. Electronic Robert is gate for us now. Dude, my very moment is Exifiant, and it was like the class names. Can you go up to the Reddit zipper while Ludwig explains this,

the Yard Subreddit? There was a class, and he's going through, there's five different factions or something, and he's like'm like what are the factions names and he goes through all of them the last one's like yeah it's liberard and it looks exactly like oh libtard and i was like i was like pat do you ever think that sounds like something else it was it was so sick it's like what are we saying this so i can do it i saw dad smoking weed in the garage, so it's like, what's he gonna do? Tell me not to smoke weed?

But then, sometimes dad does tell you not to smoke weed. And it's like, well, you smoked weed, dad. Yeah, but I know the right amount to smoke. This whole event was not my idea. It was originally YouTube's. YouTube Gaming wanted to do this. I think it was like, strengthen relationships

with devs and I will say I will say as someone who was in the original meeting for this project as it was pitched the original version of this event was terrible he quit the project actually he quit

he went baby rage mode he said I won't do it you FF'd? yeah because it was so bad that i was like i this isn't we have a bunch of events to work on this is like one of at the time this was like one of three or four events that was happening in the span of two months i'm like i don't have the bandwidth i need to drop something this is one of the worst ideas i have ever heard and i do not have the social capital to say that in the meeting and how do you think about it now? It was great because you swung your social cock around and you change the event, but I don't get to do that

Uh, not answering my social cock. I worked hard. Oh, okay And I don't have the social standing in the meetings to change the event in this way and have cock He doesn't have to swing the eun have cock. He's a eunuch. We're smoking big, nasty eunuch shit now, Aiden. Smoking big, natural. This happened during X-Defiant. You can just play it at the clip. Describe it, Pat, because I think I know better than you. Okay, absolutely. What the attack does

is they push their load towards destination. Is that right? Yeah, I guess we can go with that. Yeah, the payload. And there's payload. Are you allowed to refuse the payload? What do you mean as you say refuse? More like a no payload.

No, you hop on the payload and the payload will move. You could refuse the payload. You could, yeah. Poor dude. what the fuck? I'm from New York, so we're going into Times Square here. Oh shit, okay, cool. I'll tell you, I'll give you- This is the best you've ever played that.

Played it perfectly. He always laughs at some point. He'll crack at the end, but he did not crack once. I was like, it'd be really funny to say Loads and Payload. Something about you two running bits while Yipes stays completely silent. Oh my God. There was a moment where I thought Yipes was going to like, tell me to like, hey man, you need to cool off.

Because I made a joke to Ludwig and it was like, what'd I say? It was like, oh yeah, that's a game we play in France. It's called Ouah or something. You made some, it was a pretty good joke. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's the one where you spit in your sister's mouth. And I was like, came over the top like, fucking, what can I say? And then Yipes looks at me like, hey, yo! And I'm like, uh oh, Yipes thinks I'm really weird right now. Because you kind of want to impress Yipes, you know? Oh, 100%. I was actually really, I was pretty nervous because I was like, I want him to be like

included, but I felt like if it's not a fighting game, he feels kind of out of place and stuff. But yeah, it was a fun time. Do you think everybody had a good time? Oh, for sure. Do you think everybody had a good time? So I didn't pay anyone outside of the prize pool to show up. And it's a big ask. Like it's three days.

There's a media day which is a half day and then two days which is like nine ten hour days uh and like loser fruit came from australia jrx came from finland like a lot of traveling was done uh so the two things that we did is day one we went to uh dinner at uh yakaia uh. And we got like a big old table. TJ took care of us per usual. TJ? Oh, it's the... Have you gone to Ukiah? You don't hang out with us.

I was. TJ's the guy. The waiter. He's the guy. He's like a manager now. Ludwig's super like, he knows the waiter. You know this.

This is old stuff. It's his guy. He's not the waiter. Let me simplify this for a slide. You know how Ludwig likes having guys and going to the same place because he has a guy? This is that. He just has a restaurant guy.

So when everybody comes to the town... You guys are saying it's like a family member. Yeah. TJ and I go way back. Because we all know TJ. We met him. Because we go out to the group outing. Everyone who I know in my life has met.

Yep. Zipper knows TJ? Zipper does know TJ. You haven't met TJ. A lot of people in my life know TJ because the people I love love to meet the people I love. That's what I'm saying. Because hurt people love hurt people. Hurt people love people.

Evil people, evil people. Realize. And so we're there. And I know everyone's having a good time because what they do at this restaurant in particular is they serve bone marrow rice. And what you do with the bone after is you take a shot out of it. It's like a very common thing to do. They pour alcohol into the bone.

And you drink out of the bone. And you drink out of the bone now. Which is, I thought, is like the most... Is this like a TJ thing? Insane. It's not a TJ thing. It's a restaurant thing. Well, TJ's frat used to do this, and he brought it to the restaurant.

No, they do it at like fancy places. They do it at like best. Yeah, like Alpha Beta Chi. And you do the handshake, and then you... And Fiji. And Fiji house. Yeah, and then you get a child, and you get their adrenochromes after. Well, that's...

But TJ hooked it up. Don't make it political. He gave us... TJ gave us eight bones. He gave us... He had like a whole warehouse of bones he brought out. And so we just had all these gamers. Warehouse of bones. Bone marrow shots.

Movie or something. They do. The restaurant is attached to a warehouse, presumably filled with bones. Filled with bones. We've certainly seen inside of it. But you can only assume. It's also actually where they make all the meals for factors this That's made a different factory different types of materials

The industrial like machine works, it's kind of appear inside of it That's the engines of capital all the systems you on the screws screws, you own the bones. God, fucking finish the story. There was a story? What are we talking about? You're sucking juice out of bones. Tens, tens. Sucking bone juice. Tens became a nightmare. Tens, because he got a little drunk, and I was like, you're a bit too drunk.

And he's like, but he really wants to do the bone marrow shot. And I was like, okay, well you do a sake. He's like, maybe I do a sake. And then like, a minute passes, he's like, I do it with whiskey. I'm like, are you sure? Like, maybe you should do the sake. He's like okay we do a sake he's like he's like maybe i do a sake and then like a minute passes he's like i do it with whiskey i'm like are you sure like maybe you should do the sake he's like i do with whiskey now and i'm like all right and then he takes a whiskey shot and instantly his face goes from like this like and he's like like handling the shot and uh and then like the rest of the night he goes you shouldn't shouldn't have made me do the whiskey shot. Ludwig,

you shouldn't have made me do the whiskey shot. What happened to his body? And then he evolved to level two, which is, oh man, I would, I would really give you the hands of street fighter. I would really give you the hands of street fighter. And,

uh, and he started warming up a lot. I think everyone started warming up a lot, except for mango, who was a menace the whole night. It was too fancy for him. So he got up and he left this restaurant, which was so nice to go to an AM PM.

For what? For a pack of Parliament cigarettes in a 40. That's so awesome. Just a Norwalk boy to the very end. Does he even smoke cigarettes? Mingo makes so much money. He makes so much money. He talked to Clay about smoking cigarettes,

like just a casual cigarette. He just remembered about cigarettes. And then Clay Clay about smoking cigarettes, like just a casual cigarette. He just remembered about cigarettes. And then Clay was like, yeah, I'd smoke a cigarette after, you know, maybe drinking like one or something. And so he got the pack of cigarettes to smoke with Clay. He smokes one. Clay's like, all right, I'll smoke one. He starts smoking two more within like the span of five minutes.

And by the third one, Clay's like, I'm good. Mick goes like, really, dude? You're not going to smoke with me? And Clay's like, this is the third cigarette we already smoked together. He's just like chain smoking with the boys. Tell us Clay, you've ruined everything. It's funny, when everyone

left, I talked to, or excuse me, when Mango left, I talked to everyone else. I was like, do you guys like, do you know Mango? And everyone's like, of course I know Mango. He's a legend. Hell yeah. And they're all gassing him up, but Mango really showed him his drinking side, because the whole weekend at the event, he would go up to different groups, but it would always be the same group and be like, want to take a shot?

So it'd be like Loser Fruit and Connery's Pants. That's like one group. The other group's like 10s in super. And then, but he would take the shots with all the people. And then they all started talking to each other about this. And they came to the realization that like, wow, Mango drinks a lot. Yeah. Like maybe just like seven shots.

And to settle him down, I like looked into my fanny pack for like a treat for him. And I found my boomstick. And the boomstick is a shark tank product that's just menthol and eucalyptus oil. It clears your sinus. And like, you know, it's like a lower dose smelling. I saw him like going around with that thing yeah people uh people use that when they're on mdma he went stupid on it he started like shoving it up his nose yeah and then just leaving it there like a tampon and you're

chanting tatum and she's a man and just going why did he like it and then he'd walk over and be like do you got more of these boob sticks it's bad for your sinuses to do it this much he's like i don't need that i don't care about that that is like it's like put using the bidet on max the first time yeah but then like like walking around with a bidet in your ass i don't know he did it so much yeah yeah he's like i would attend more i'm like that's crazy this is so bad for you i shouldn't have done this dude you have single-handedly eroded Mango's sinus. I'd rather it be that than something else. Yeah.

Yeah, it is better this than alcohol or drug. There's going to be a tiny domino, and it's Ludwig makes Scuff World Tour, and it has Mango go. And then the biggest giant domino is Ludwig, or Mango retires from Melee and just, like, gets addicted to Boomstick. That's the thing that takes him out.

Not the alcohol. Yeah, Boomstick. The Boomstick will get him there. So, anyway, I think we're having a good time. We did karaoke last night. How was that? It was fun. It was good.

Everyone was singing. Dude, Zipper, can you go to the off-brand Twitter? There's a giant staff photo. It's a great photo. There's a lot of people in here. A lot of old heads, a lot of new heads. I was over drinking a Coke Zero on my phone. I am not in this picture.

No. No. I didn't know it was happening, and I'm just like on my phone, and then I look up, and everyone's like, all right, yeah. Then everyone starts walking back over to the- Yeah yammer playing me later in the tables area Oh, you were in the ends out there either. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny So so yeah, I if this is it's almost like a visual representation of how I don't I naturally and magnetically Opposed to plan group activities because what's more a plan group activity than a photo?

It's also Danica is front and center in this photo that is really fun she's a ex bts employee well in her defense she did serve food she did serve food did you see that she worked danica yeah she just got behind the counter and just started like serving poke bowls and she's like what would you like it was really i saw her like that i was like okay because she brought her old bts staff shirt it was very funny it was a really good time it was like the old ass summit vibes it was also like an introduction of the like the ludwig zoomer audience to an event old audience yeah sorry go ahead tiny little babies yeah okay so these 29 year old ludwig fans mature audience mature it's mature it's shake drizzles. Unless you want to claim right now.

What's your Czech Republic viewership? Were you talking about being gaped to children? Yes. Yes. Own it. Own it. I would. Because in Tetris, you need to make a line.

I just wanted to protect the kids. And if you're protected from what? Being bad at Tetris? You got to be bad to learn. So this is cool, this cool vibe. But I remember I was reading the subreddit, reading the chat when the internet's going down and everyone's like,

I can't believe this is happening. I just can't believe, like what, what a terrible event. And it's like, guys, have you never like watched like eSports, like, I think it was a lot of people's introduction because they only watched like brain rotted, like streaming, fucking just chatting,

open Pokemon cards content or something. It's it's like no this is a produced event and when the internet goes down it's like what this is the most terrible l ludwig has ever taken it's fine what are you doing yeah i was just a little i was surprised and i was like ah they're being introduced just flack they're being introduced. Just flack. They're being conditioned. Sometimes you get flack. Programmed. In a way. Ludwig's YouTube, programming the kids. So Slime has somehow got it in his head that this will be useful for our MeUndies ad read that we're now doing.

You're in an ad read right now. You could never do it. So Slime, go ahead and take it away. Why don't you explain how this was meant to help or make the client happy? Go. What's up client uh it's what's up me undies fam it's me the me undies man and i've come to your door in the dead of night in the dead of night wearing the me on these long underwear series wearing the long underwear i'm just feeling on you i genuinely got pockets they got pockets yeah i genuinely put these on they They are.

And I was like, these are comfy. And that's what you need when MeUndies gives you special occasion undies. When the MeUndies man comes to your home, that's me. It's a special occasion. This is like Eastern European folklore. Yes. If you're a good boy,

MeUndies man, look, look. Boy, the MeUndies man comes to their house. He comes and you leave the shoes out. Speaking of the right pair of underwear, I used to wear like the boxers that kind of drape a lot and then your balls chafe. Yeah, they do. And it sucks.

I hate that. And so when I started using the ones that they sent us, it doesn't do that. And it's nice. My balls don't chafe. I got the softest undies on the blog. I'm slowly racking up our MeUndies supply into- Why do you get them all the time? Because I want them. I need the softest undies on the blog. I'm slowly racking up our me undies supply into Why do you get them all the time? Because I want them. I need them more than you do. No, no, no

This is good enough for a product that we fight over it. Well, look, last week he wore the shark ones and they sold out on the website It's true. Yeah, I did think that was swag. You can't do it like me because I posed with commitment Let's be real. I danced. Monthly shipments right to your door. Come on. Many options from undies, socks, loungewear, or bralettes available in sizes extra small through 4XL. So, you know, give your butt the best year of its life with MeUndies. You've been working on that.

So, yeah. Go ahead and go. Isn't this juicy, though? Don't say it's juicy. Go ahead and go to MeUndies.com slash zipper. That's MeUndies.com slash zipper that's me undies.com slash zipper for 25 off your first purchase and free shipping don't wait to be comfortable like him feel free to get don't be me and undies be you and you'll want to get on all fours me undies.com slash

zipper the me undies man will visit you in the night in the night in the night in the night nightmare nightmare back to the episode there was one big L at the event. Outside of the internet issues. Rest in peace. It was rest in peace to Zipper's hand. Dude. Zipper. This is a sad story.

We had the boxing machine there. And we had the boxing machine here normally. But we moved it for brew battles. And it was still there. And I had everyone punch it. Who's a gamer to make a YouTube short short who's the strongest game or whatever uh but a lot of the staff were doing it and then zipper was there and zipper was zipper loves wailing on that he's probably hit him more than anyone zipper's probably hit him more than anyone he wails on that fucker

and he gets high scores he gets high scores he does uh Zipper comes over to me, and his hand instantly has a bruise on it. He's like, hit the machine directly. Like, punched through the bag and hit the glass or the plastic behind the screen. It'd be so sick to do that, but then the number goes to like a thousand. And the glass is broken. So instantly, he tells me this, and out of of reaction I turn around and look at the numbers and then Zipper's like no no no

because it is not a good number. He broke the hand on like a, I don't want to say it. Let's not leak. I apologize for my insane reach. He does have insane reach. Not broken apparently. Oh okay. I was telling everyone that zipper broke his hand.

He's just heavily bruised. Everyone thinks your hand is broken, zipper. You do look bad right now. That's so sick. You look like Glover. Like the man who's a glove? The man who's a glove, Glover. Zipper has morphed.

Kind of the same. That's like what zipper's sister would be. Just a different... I'm imagining Hamburger Helper. Okay. Yeah. With a little smiley face on it, too. Dude, did Hamburger, you think the Hamburger Helper glove is just Mickey's gloves? Nope. You think it's in the same universe?

No. You don't think? Oh, I think all gloves hang out, yes. So Master Hand's there. Yes. Master Hand, Glover. He's big. Michael Jackson's glove.

No, because the melee characters are small. Everyone hates Master Hand because his brother Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand's way too much. Crazy Hand can make you... I won't say it. He can make you wiggle and writhe. He can make you wiggle and writhe. If you're gaped for him.

Why'd you say all that? What a crass thing to say, lovey. Do you realize The R is a family podcast? It's not. Okay, says who? You, the owner? Why do you say all that? What a crass thing to say, lovey. So crass. I just know where your friends are. Do you realize The Yard is a family podcast? It's not. Okay. Says who? You, the owner?

Yeah. If you're not sitting down with your family listening to something. Well, let's take an owner vote. All the owners are here. Owners are here. So is The Yard a family podcast or not? I say yes. Family podcast.

Oh, you've not voted. That's a majority vote. That's how democracy works. He said a slur in the first five minutes. Yeah, but now he can say it because he was lamenting the old days. Sesame Street had slurs. I can say we're away from the event. I can say anything I want. Is that true? I love Lego 2k drive and gaping assholes. Jesus man. That's so beautiful to say. Yeah, because we can say that here.

I would love to what about free what about a goatee Lego set do you think we could get him to make that? you build it you build it you build it you don't need a set you just build it with pieces we wouldn't make a set no no no it's like a really beautifully done like set yeah and there's like the wedding ring and everything breathtaking set yeah that'd be cool like a Lego story it could be like a piggy bank. You could put little coins in it. Or you could put guys in it. Because it's gay. You could put a lot in it.

Did you guys see the Mr. Beast drama? I did. Wait, Jack's had to go that way. Well now it's settled. Wait, why is it settled? They chopped. No, I didn't see they chopped. They G. If they're G, they're G. They just talk privately. Who publicly said No, I didn't see they chopped. They G. What was the G? They just talked privately.

Privately. They talked privately. Who publicly said this so we know they talked privately? Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast is like, it's actually all good. He's like, yeah, we chopped the DMs. And then fucking Jack's septic eye replied to it. Wow.

I remember I came home and Miles was reading that on his JT. And he's just like mad at the phone. And he's like, you make fucking Let's Plays. And he's just like mad at the phone and he's like you make fucking let's plays and he's just like yelling at his phone like an old man i'm like oh someone's someone's drama it's so funny because it was a well it seemed to me at least to be a very contrived lie detector thing with a fake lie detector person like i've done that tommy and it did yeah so they're just farming drama but then i think they got a little more than they they bit off a lot a little more than the two when mr bean

comes through and he's like hey you're stupid actually he's been a reply guy he's been like you mr yeah he'll like reply he'll but he's not like me because he'll also be like like just watching mr beast video and he'll reply and he'll be like you have to watch every one now to like a fan so he replies i think i think he literally like will search mr. Beast. Oh, yeah, he's looking in direct reply For sure. I love that. I've tried to be in direct pills and then it's just Ludwig Goranson It's like or how do you beat this boss Ludwig? And or it's just a guy named Ludwig in Germany. Yeah reading you kind of did get screwed there Hi, there's too many of us. Well I mean if I search

slime what am I finding? Mostly Dragon Quest tweets. You're on a lot of Dragon Quest Twitter I feel like. Nick Falco. I will say on the

Smash Bros subreddit because I used to check around for like if I commentated an event or something they just love speculating about whether or not before the Dragon Quest guy got in the

game like whether or not slime from Dragon Quest would be in the game. A character? was really funny dude speaking of mr beast at the at the event it's like 10 minutes to no it was like two minutes to show time and the counter's counting down we have to be on the couch connery pant is sitting there watching a mr beast video and it's lamborghini versus shredder yep and he's sitting there patiently waiting for the ad to get done playing before the video he's like ad patiently waiting for the ad to get done playing before the video.

He's in like Adblock or something. And I'm like, oh, watching some content. He's like, yeah, dude, Lamborghini versus Shredder, Mr. Beast. And now I'm sitting through the ad. Because like I want to see that. In the first 10 seconds, it's like, okay, the Lamborghini almost goes in. They clickbait that. And then there's a big explosion.

And then before, and then it goes into the video and he pushes a domino and then a bunch of dominoes drop and it destroys a 7-Eleven. And I'm just glued to the fucking, over Connor's shoulder. I'm like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Connor's like, I know. The domino thing was the best part of the video, for sure. I didn't get to finish it, but it's like, it was like in Futurama when Fry's got the slop

and he needs to save his friends, but he's addicted to it. And he's like pulling was like in futurama when fries got the slop and he needed to save his friends but he's addicted to it and he's like pulling the trough to go help them and i was like i just i gotta go on the couch but i just want to you want to finish i want to watch this mr b's video so bad and i was like it's like hitting hitting crack the slop's pretty and then after that i was like i saw this that's jacksepticeye drama shit and i'm like he's just wrong like he basically made me want to finish a video that i watched for 12 seconds and i was like you're mr beast pill though i've all i mean i never wasn't it was just like they put a video screen in front of me and all of a sudden i was like i like the way that makes me feel he likes content he's a content guy content guy look. You love content. Checking in.

Checking in for you. Oh, do you guys all want to give me a content idea? Nope. Never mind. In general? Nah, stupid as fuck. I want to give you one. Okay.

That's cool. Nick. Slime shoots you with a... I need an idea from all of you, because I'm trying to do a video where I ask 100 YouTubers for an idea. I have mine. I gave it to you a while ago. It's the best idea ever. Oh. Million dollar idea? Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'll do it. Is it one million dollars? I have to

make a iPhone background. Not that one! Not that one! Not the bad one! No, you're not asking for a million dollars. You're asking for a YouTube idea. I'm gonna make a billion, you said. Yeah. Billion with that. Bill, a B. A B with Billy. What's the idea? I can't leak it. Yes, you said. Yeah. Billion with that. Bill, a B. A B with Billy. What's the idea?

I can't leak it. Yes, you can. The idea is that I do, so for this, it's, I have a hundred, you know. If I do it, someone else will do it. This specific video I'm trying to make is a hundred ideas, and all of them are public, and I play marbles, and when someone's name comes up, I read out their idea, and I do it. Okay, you want my idea? Yeah.

Okay, here's my idea. Ready? I already told you this. You're gonna laugh. Because every time I tell you the idea again, you laugh at me. That's why I don't like telling you. That's why I don't like telling him ideas. He laughs in your face. He'll be like, what idea was this? And I'll tell him and he'll laugh at me. And I'm like, what's funny?

I'm trying to help you. I'm not gonna laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. He's funny. I'm not gonna laugh. Don't laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. Alright, the t- I hate you so much.

I'm not gonna laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. I hate you so much. You look like you're trying to balance your tongue In the middle of your mouth You look like you're keeping water in your mouth Because you're going to spit it out of me The idea is

I made parking free for a day In LA Don't laugh Your eyes are watering They're not watering What do I do after that? I hate you I hate him

I actually With zero irony I don't like you. Nick has loved this idea for a long time. It'd be so good. It'd be so good. You made parking free for- You get all your friends, and it's a competition. Who can save people the most money in LA? Yeah, like downtown LA.

Everyone's got their own strategy You know you've got you and and you do it the lazy way and like you go into a parking structure and you ask the guy If you can sit in his chair, and you just pay for everyone in line Yeah You've got Aiden and he fucking meets everyone and likes them and saves like $20 total because he sucks at it cuz he meets He makes friends and you've got like me and I gamify it and I like cover a whole block or some bullshit and At the end It's like we save people 250 grand. We couldn't actually do it though. It's way too expensive. Yeah, yup. Yup

It's all your money. It's all your money, too bitch It's all your bread It's not a bad idea if we don't spend 250 grand. That was a big number. I was kidding about the numbers. The idea is still real, though. The idea is great.

Okay, so you've got your idea from there. Use a weapon on yourself. And I hope it's lethal. Lethal weapons only. Pick a weapon of your choice and use it on yourself. That was super his idea. It was torture. I don't think torture's real.

Try torturing yourself. Oh, I like that. Put you in the stretch, the Gumby rack. That's what he said. David Blaine already did this. Huh? David Blaine did this. Well, I like that. Put you in the stretch, the Gumby rack. That's what he said. David Blaine already did this. Huh? David Blaine did this. Yeah, magicians don't count.

Magicians were YouTubers before YouTube. He got waterboarded. I'm doing, well, that's what he wanted me to do too. No, that's because he was in, he was in on it.

The thing is, David Blaine just did that. I'm doing a hundred things and the next thing is eat 27 cabbages from XMofo. 27 cabbages? Yeah.

What? Why does he like cabbages? I don't know. That was his what why did why does it like cabbage i don't know that was his thing slime oh some people have bad ideas don't point at me you say some people have bad 100 clearly motion your hands towards i did this i know it's like we all have bad ideas like straight like a like a laser point at him it's at him. Just like that. I went like this. No, you did the one before that at him. We all have bad ideas. So my idea Great idea with the park Hope I get dementia and forget all our memories.

I hope I forget that we were ever friends. I want that for myself. My idea, you genuinely, with the help of a... What? That's so funny. With the help of an assistant, like a trained expert, you genuinely, continually fight larger and larger animals and see which ones you can beat.

What self-respecting expert would let their animals fight a human? Because at some point, to progress, he has to win. Yeah, you start it like monkey. I'm killing the monkey? fight a human because at some point because he to progress he has to win yeah you no no you start it like monkey and he kills a monkey you don't have to kill the monkey how do you win

you have to break its neck okay it dies if you do that hey they die bro they fucking die if I do that but it's like a capuchin monkey

do I have to lose and then it's oh sumo rules is good oh it's just knock him out of the. Do I have to lose? And then it's Osumo rules is good. Oh, it's just knock him out of the ring? Wait, what do you show us? So I just pick up a cat and I go, oop. Yeah. You just take coots outside the circle and you win.

And then eventually you get to like bear and it's going to be hard. I'm going to die. No, no. The bear is like declawed, defanged. The bear is a mouth guard. This is such an unethical. And a mouthguard. This is such an- And like boxing gear. This is an unethical-

Who for who? The bear. The bear. Yeah, who you- Oh, the bear who can speak and think. Oh, so they don't deserve rights. So now animals don't understand you? You have a weird relationship with animals.

They understand me because I speak their language. You're just- I'm a bear! You're saying a bear because we can't communicate with it doesn't deserve to live. You think that you're gonna be killing a bear and that's hilarious.

No, I'm worried about the declawing and detoothing of a bear. Fine. And getting it boxy gloves. Fine, you think my idea is so fucking stupid. Fine.

A little person brothel. Yo! I'll be real, it's not the worst idea I've heard today. person brothel. Yo! I'll be real, it's not the worst idea I've heard today. We made our little person brothel free for an entire day.

And let me tell you about the parking, because that's the best part. I am quitting. I'm quitting. Have fun. Have fun doing whatever you do. All right. Well, you got two bangers from two bangers.

Man, it's a lot of heat to follow up. Yeah, yeah. I think you should make one of those lengthy takedown videos that are in reply to Economics Explained. And then when he gives you a reply video to that video, my second idea is another reply video to that one. Wait, I- So you- I'm giving you two videos. That's so- that's so beast. I don't actually understand this side of YouTube, what is this?

There's a channel called Economics Explained, who will often make like- He'll just make some video that has a bunch of errors in it, and then some- Why China will take over. And he just has a side- he just has like the most exaggerated is this like the china's gonna fail in 17 days guy no he hasn't made one of those yet no he's done a couple times you've done like all the channels such is videos like that but he's not like on the china is three days away and it's like it's been that way for like 10 years economics explained is the channel yeah and then and then there's this market of people making videos that correct his videos

and then if that makes enough up enough traction then economics explained will reply with another video or like a comment and then you can make a reply video to that in a lot of ways he's like the keem star of economics YouTube. I would think. Like, he'll just say some shit and then people will be like, no, you're fucking wrong. And he'll be like, no, I'm not.

And then he talks like that. There's so many views. He just has a crazy accent, too, that I like to make fun of. Why you should be worried about China's debt crisis. MIT has predicted that society will collapse in 2040.

They're like, shit like this. But these are the big ones. Like the more granular ones. Can you go to the like recent? Hyperinflation is already here. You can make a 40 minute video that's basically all actually. God, he makes so much fucking money. He's just churning these out.

Yeah, and look at the views. I think that genuinely it's like AI. I'm just really curious on the visuals. Is it just standing? It's pretty much all graphics and like stock footage. Graphs. How is he churning these out? He's a team.

He's said it before. He's like a team of people that works on him. China. You hear his voice. Oh yeah, there's that stock. That stock. Oh, handshaking, chest moves. Charts. This is so much stock footage. Dude, I know. I know. Oh, yeah, there's a stock that's stock. Yeah chess moves

So much stock footage I know I know you can so it's so getting on this expense light bulb in a circle in space So yeah, you basically replying replying to this guy is just like okay. I basically have to prepare a Response for the live stream if your marble comes up and then do it. Yeah. And you gotta get sharp. Talk about why Rwanda isn't the Singapore of Africa and then just fill it with 30 minutes of stock footage.

3 million views. One of your highest viewed videos ever. Get shake and polite on just farming stock. Wow! you should put that in any of your videos yeah we do need more stock footage i said to the guys cringe dude it's funny too is i'll watch video essays not like this guy because i think he sucks but like in general i'll watch like economics videos or just like dry content and i i do like having something to look at i am a i am a children a child eating

slop and i'm like yep cool yep guy looking at ipad i like that guy actually watching it without sound is so funny i like this because i i like that the visuals don't matter because i just listen to them in the car i think uh something i've seen a lot that's kind of cool is like they just use instead of stock photos, just AI photos. Well, I forget what the one service is that makes like somewhat realistic looking pictures. But AI is good at making a concept. Yeah, it's just way cheaper as well. Visually. Than like a stock photo subscription or something like that.

What if we did a yard film festival and then we did a stream where we all judged the movies? I think it'd be a great idea. Only snuff films. I would love to do that. Wow. Real snuff films. Yeah.

Only. We do the Yard Red Room Challenge. Red Room Challenge. Yeah, and we have to film this in like the Maldives. Because if you only have 12 hours. It's sponsored by NordVPN. Yes! Oh, my goats. We're getting there. in like the mall dives because if you only have 12 hours. Oh my goats.

We're getting there. I think that'd be really cool. We should do that. It sounds fun. Yeah, we should. I'm laughing because we say we'll do a lot and we haven't done a lot. It's hard to do a lot. What have we not done? Everything we say we do, I figure out. IQ tests. IQ tests. SAT. You guys are supposed to wear fucking animal costumes because I won the bet. I've been thinking I need to order those. We not done everything we do I figure out my do tests IQ tests SAT

You guys are supposed to wear a fucking animal costumes cuz I won the bet I've been I need to order those true I forgot about that. Well you did forget I'm in charge of has happened. Yeah, I'm forget about my dough sometimes We'll say something and then it'll just fall into the ethos spell organize it. I'll do it He'll shmeet he'll do everything for us. It'll do everything for us except I'll do it. He'll shmeet. He'll do everything for us. He'll do everything for us, except... I'll do it to you for completion. Statue for me now.

All the way to the end? All the way to the end. To the ass? Do you think we'll ever be able to communicate earnestly? We do communicate earnestly, but we just use different words. Yeah, you're right. And we cut it from the show. I'm mentally gaped for you, and I'll take all your information.

Yeah. We're not the bears. It's all true. Dubbin. Dubbin. That's me say I ride the bears. Yeah. Ride the bears. It's all true. Rubbin'. Dubbin'. You are dumb. Yeah.

Because you said you wanted to shave your head down to the ass. Yeah. Down to the butt ass. And now it's getting to the butt ass and you can't do it anymore because now it's growing out and you don't want to keep this hairstyle. Down to your head's cracked. It's been two weeks. It's fine.

So you would do it still. Yeah, it's going to be one of the marbles. Oh my. So you're just going to go back of the marbles. Oh my... So you're just going to... The video would be shaving my head again? No, no, no. It's going to be doing a hundred YouTubers' ideas,

and one of the ideas is go bald. Do you just run the marble once? But isn't the idea... No, one of the marbles is end stream, so I keep going until I do all... Oh, it's not just video ideas. It's just ideas? It's ideas of stuff to do on stream

So it's basically like I asked. Oh, well mine's not even a stream idea. Yeah, yours doesn't really work Clarified that maybe one of the marbles For a video you guys are being so crazy. No, yes, you all sound crazy You really all sound crazy. You just changed it. You did change it. Can one of the marbles go to Namibia? Come with me. Go with you to Namibia?

Mustard on the beat, bro. Let Pokey Man go, bro. She said a long time ago. Can you pull up a blank map? That's Morocco. It's so far away. They're so far away from each other. I know what you meant.

Can you pull pulled a blank map of the world and I want Aiden to point out Namibia and if you do that yeah I can point it out I'll consider you love playing

GeoGuessr on this podcast I like GeoGuessr everyone thought the 1v1 game was going to be GeoGuessr the 1v1 game is going to be GeoGuessr or Chess

it's right next to Kosovo it's next to Costa Mesa do you think that people care about GeoGuessr? On this podcast. You do this all the time. Oh, like this section of the podcast.

Trying to beat Aiden to identify a country. It was the most. And me and Nick have to sit here and look at our dicks. We could skip it, but the Kosovo was the most talked about section. It's true. It was highly discussed. Because you guys argued for so long. People highly discussed it. If we were arguing about anything on this show, it would be the most talked about section. It's true It was highly discussed because you guys argued for so long people highly discussed I keep on anything on the show to be the most disgusting episode. Let's make it a bit. It is a tidbit Oh, it's a donut. It's a munchkin. It's a

Duncan made a desert the Canadians are mounting on their horses right now to charge the studio Alright, Eamon has gotten up and he's pointing at what if this if the bottom of Africa was a penis It would be beneath the head of the penis. Go to the very bottom with your mouse zip Very bottom with your mouse and left left that one is what he's pointing at that one right there. Yeah, is that Namibia? I got no fucking clue to be honest I only know South Africa and Botswana. So if you get the marble you have to go with me You go with Eamon? That's Namibia

Wow He knows his shit It would be insane to want to go there this bad And plan a trip there and not know where it is That does feel like the Ludwig You know what's funny as well? You do that with baristas you meet all the time in their house You don't know where that is

But you want to go there really bad and meet them and their dog and their mom probably. I think we might go to a soccer game together. Me and the people at that coffee shop. That is so funny. Oh, the Messi game? Nothing. Didn't have anything specific in mind.

Is Messi coming here? Messi's coming to LA. The normies are talking about it. The normies are grumbling right now. The normies? There's a grumbling amongst the normies. The normies love Messi. And debatably, the non-normies.

I would say the remodel loves Messi. Or Cristiano Ronaldo. I could dust either. And what? Soccer. Yeah? You can kick the ball better?

Yeah. I can do everything all the better. Do you think against a professional goalkeeper you would score from... Let's say from the 18-yard line? How far away is the PK? Well, the 18-yard line is the top of the box.

But if you want to do PK, okay, from the PK, make it easier for you. Top of the box would be pretty hard. Don't they make it easier for you? I was going to say 18-yard line. People shoot from there too, but I'll make it easier for you. So from the outside of the box. It's a PK because... PK is like, of course,

I feel like you make one. That's why I made it a little more difficult. Because Messi was running by you and he sack tapped you, dropped you instantly. Professional. Okay, from the PK line, professional goalkeeper,

you kick 100 balls. How many going? Oh man. From PK? 100 PK balls. I think maybe like 20? Ah! 20%?

Bah humbug. 20 out of 100? Bah humbug. I think that's fair. Ah. I played soccer. If I never played the sport. Bro, you hit it on the top of the goal.

I've thought about this. If you aim your ball on the top of the goal, it goes above the guy. And then it goes in the net. Goalkeepers are taller they can reach the top. But you do it to the side as well. So you're saying top corn. Not corn but you go to the top right and you hit it really Do you hit it hard or soft? You hit it so hard. Okay. If it goes faster. Make sure you don't make it hard or soft? You hit it so hard. Oh, okay. Because it goes faster. And you make sure you don't make it go over the goal. If it goes over, that's bad.

So if you aim it perfectly and you hit it as hard as you possibly can... Are you kicking it or throwing it? You can't block it. You could... Zipper, can you on YouTube and type in goalkeeper scorpion save? I want to show Anthony what goalkeepers can do. Goalkeepers? Is this like what Trinity does

in the beginning of the second Matrix movie? Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's the big move, right? No. In the second Matrix movie, after the motorcycle, you dumb bastard.

Go to the weight. Get his ass. Bark at him. Yeah, this is it. Okay. Uncut a messy. Uncut a messy. Uncut a messy. Okay, I can do that.

Everyone can do that. You could never do that given a million tries. Anyone can do what that beautiful man did. Who looks like Frank Zappa. Yeah, he's like, yup.

Yeah, he's like, I'm the guy, bro. That's crazy. That's so sick. Yes, I can do that. Yes. If it were you and me, dude, oh my God,

you're not getting through, bro. You're getting filtered, bitch. I score 100 out of 100 on you. No. Because I know you're going to shoot to the top right. That's your strategy. I don't think you can jump up that far.

The thing is, he blocks one, then he walks off. Yeah. I think if I put them bottom goal on either side at a moderate speed, he would not get there. How about this? A hundred times in a row.

How about this? Yes, I can dive. I'm arguably more athletic than all of you right now. Yeah, it's true. I don't think that's true. Not at soccer. I want one kick, one goal kick, $10,000. I block, I get it.

You score, you get it. Now, who's sucking who? Is this from PK? You're asking if that does that change my confidence? It's PK. Yeah. It's one kick. Ooh, he could just whiff.

Yeah, he could just whiff. That's the scary part. He could whiff the shot. I only need to get lucky once. We have nothing to do with you. Wow. Now what? It's so worth.

It's so worth, though. I don't think it's worth. I don't think it's worth. I don't think it's worth. What's your question? Your question is do I think I'd score it? Yeah. What are your chances? I think my chances are the same.

Wait, if you ever won? No, your chances go down because you're more nervous. I'm more nervous. I guess you are more nervous. If you have 100 kickers, as the kicker, you have more pressure. Yeah. It's kind of like, it's the end of the one Mr. Beast video, like the World Cup one or the whatever,

Olympics one. They did the soccer thing and you can see the nerves were there because they were fucking ass. Do I have to go right now, no practice kicks, and just take it? Yeah,

we have to like, we go outside. You're not like going out. If I got like 10 kicks to warm up and then I could kick, then I would be like, freedom. That's scarier.

That's scary. It's a fresh kick. But you have nothing to do with that equation. Yeah, I know. I'm revealing your weaknesses to yourself. There could be a baby in the goal, and I'd still be like, shit, I haven't kicked a soccer Yeah, because you're weak. Because you're never ready.

You don't get ready. I've seen you try to kick a soccer ball, and you can't. I've seen you try it. That's true. Yes, this happened at the Mr. B studio. I need a couple, but I wouldn't have to kick anything. And I'm allowed to use my hands. What was the bet?

You had three tries to juggle the ball three times. He was wearing bad shoes. He was wearing bad shoes. Don't hit me with them. I don't mind falling. I can't kick flip with these. I was wearing bad shoes. He needed the Copas.

You guys and Carl Jacobs were like playing fucking soccer together like a couple of Europeans pissing me off. I don't want to see that. It's the beautiful game. It is a beautiful game. The sweet science. They call it. Why do you look like a crew member?

I'm just wearing all black. Because I'm going on my motorcycle today. I'm going on a ride. Really? He wants to be as low visibility as possible when it gets to night. Yeah, when night comes, he wants to be the invisible rider. Mm-hmm. I'm not going to ride at night. He speeds around the interstate going 100.

I found out my neighbor died in a motorcycle accident. What did you say? I found out today that the earth spins like once a day. What are you talking about? What the fuck? My neighbor died in a motorcycle accident. Your neighbor? Yeah. That's so sad.

That's sad. Yeah. They had a motorcycle as well? Yeah. And they died. Were you so careful? They died, and it's the worst because I found out from my neighbor, and they were like, yeah, they died, and it was not their fault at all.

And then they were like, saw you driving a motorcycle, and I was like, pfft. That's insane to say to someone who's like, hey, you have one of those. Guess, you will never believe what happened today. Yeah. That's the Reaper coming to warn you in the form of your neighbor. Sell that shit. You and Z zipper sell your shit I can't do

Zipper's like nah I will ride across Nihongo Are you still doing that? Yeah I thought you weren't Why? Because you said you weren't No I didn't

Wrong I won I will defend What are you going to Japan for? Is that a different thing? Yeah You're going to Japan soon Yeah

For an RV trip Dude you ate all of these? You fucking fat sal No I didn't I had like seven Dude they're gone I had six bro Timbit

Can I have the last Timbit? You got the last Timbit It's crazy that you waxed them off like that Call it a munchkin Munchkin It's a munchkin Say it's a munchkin now It's a munchkin Say it's a munchkin now It's Timbit

Ooh He just reaches in there Like a kid who ate a Lego Spit it out Spit it out No What do you have in your mouth? What do you have in your mouth?

Bad boy Open Alright Well hey That's the Yard Podcast for today Goodbye Shut the fuck up Goodbye

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