The Yard - Ep. 116 - We Thought Hypnosis Was Fake...Until Now.

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

This week, the boys talk about QTCinderella's Gala for Good, the 30 questions which made squeex and ludwig closer, and how we got hypnotised...

I don't want to give you anything. I hate you. I don't even want to give it to you. I hate you. You hate me. You don't want to give it to me. It's our weekly let's talk about why someone's late segment of the podcast. You actually came.

So we had this idea that you have to eat all of your food and we don't say anything until you're done. The food being the reason you're late. And this goes to air. So the longer you take, this actively damages the show. Wait, stop. He's about to blame a service worker. What happened? Whose fault is it?

Which person who works for $2.95 an hour... I'm just not that late. You guys are being unreadable. It's funny. The irony was that Aiden said, we have to do 10.30 so Ludwig can make his flight. He said 10.30 sharp. 10.30 sharp.

Which is the opposite of squirts. It's a big deal to say sharp. It's over-specifying. I will miss my flight, and I will lose a huge amount of money because of it. Yeah. And I will do layoffs. Oh, layoffs?

Yeah. So where are you going to start? On the chopping block. It's actually Otto and someone else. Shake, drizzle. Well. That's unfortunate. He'll have to go back to the check.

Actually, that'd be great if I fired people, and I said, hey, it's because of Aiden, but I didn't fire Aiden. Yeah. Yeah. Because then he has to stay in like shame prison no I gotta let you go shake you can't crush you can't crush you're locked out of the studio

we're changing the keys he's so small you're not allowed to talk you're not allowed to talk you say shake you gotta go back to the check and good luck with everything and you can't come back here after he goes you know he can't come back

and you gotta come back with a check. For four million dollars. But he can't. He can't. Because the government says you don't have that bread. They say, you ever seen 10 bands in your life shake? Yeah, shake. And so, so, Amen, so what we thought,

what the irony is, is Aiden said 10.30 sharp. 10.30 rolls around, Aiden's late, Loddick's not even here. The guy who said, hey everyone,, we got to be here for this guy. Both of them are gone. Yeah. It's just me and Nick freezing in the studio. The celebrity and his manager.

Yeah. It's very cold in the studio. It's raining in SoCal. In our backyard. It's pouring down and it's freezing. It's freezing right now. But I'm warm. Eat faster.

Why do you think that you're cold? You're wearing such good? Wears not very warm. It's like you got a fact We've got your your hot shoes on they keep hot air in the holes events on those things Again with this is a micro speedrun all you wear is gold boots I'm trying to avoid the piglins We're talking about shorts guys, and I'm sure people from cold climates see it a lot more

But there's like people who only wear cargo shorts Growing up in high school and stuff And you see their red knees Cause it's freezing out And they're like I'm not cold It's like why are you wearing shorts Zach And he's like I don't know wear shorts I mean it's not that cold

And it's like yes it fucking is Why are you capping to yourself with your red knees You know what I'm noticing right now is that Aiden has finished his food At least for now and he also has a coffee coffee coffee is not really a drink of punishment. That's true Yes, so maybe to punish him. Can I have your coffee? We've actually prepared a punishment drink for the lot of you Yeah, I think you're being punished because you were late and you made them really on a time I just feel like I just feel like two minutes late is not that late. Well it is to them Edited he's setting up a bit. It's gonna say edited, and we're gonna go see it, and we're gonna be like This is for you guys, both of you. What is it? What is in it? Is it got prime in it?

This is every single juvie flavor combined. And you have to drink it all. And this is your caffeine for the day. I refuse to drink it as a huge lover of Red Bull So what I'll do instead Ah Okay What are you doing later today by the way?

I'm imagining it's now every flavor of Red Bull You have to finish that before the show is over Oh god I couldn't. Wait, how many juvies are you pouring in? All of them. No, but you didn't pour five cans in it. If it's all the flavors, it must have been like four cans, split across two. We have secret deep web flavors. We do. Why does it matter if it's full cans? It's proportional to the amount. No, I don't care about the flavor, I care about how much caffeine's in it.

I don't want to drink 800 pounds of caffeine. It's gotta be the same. How much is the same amount as one cup of juvie. From one can. That's perfect. But how would it be more? Because it feels bigger. I don't know how much can. I don't know if this solo cup equals a juvie can. That's what he's trying to figure out and articulate, but he can't.

I see, you're saying how many fluid ounces are in a solo can. I'll be real, fluid ounces I can't visualize. Like if you have a jar, and then you have a can. I can only visualize it in ropes. Ropes of what? Do you know how many fluid ounces you eject? It's ropes of juvie. How many ropes do you eject?

How many fluid ounces of rope? That's a great question, Aiden. You know I got that ism from Scar? I think Scar said it like in some commentary thing. He's like it's a great question Toph to some like not great question. I've kept that with me for a while.

Here he goes again. Eat time. Yummy time. It's yummy time. He likes salmon like a bear. You're like a little bear for us. I'm hungry too but I'm gonna miss my flight. Are you actually gonna miss it? Yeah man I gotta fly to freaking San Joe's I'm gonna miss my flight Yeah, man, I got a flight of freakin San Joe's he might miss his flight And if I miss my flight They're gonna be so mad cuz I had him push it and they were so upset about pushing it for the RC dog

Oh, no, not to Japan. Oh the flight. What could he musta? I'm going to San Jose for the Red Bull MXS I thought you were going to Japan. I'm going to Japan to come today. No, that's not right This is arguably more important. Do you think Connor's wet, but for you? What? Thought of the phrase Connors wet, but before you You thought of the phrase Connor's wet butt before you had a sentence to fit it into. Before we got here today.

No, we played D&D earlier a couple days ago, and I just kept talking about how wet Aiden's corpse was. And I was like, it's kind of real. Yeah, which will make sense. I'm not excited for D&D with y'all. Why? Dude, I'm electric. It feels like I am the only straight man. Oh my god, no. Who's the other straight man? Me. No like I am the only straight man. Oh my god. No

Who's the other straight man me? No, I can be a straight man. I'm gonna be your second straight man I'm not I am you so far develop. I've developed since the last session He's developed natural what you develop last session was a huge set of hits. Mm-hmm. Actually all you did That shit is really fun. That was the most straight man thing I could've done Yeah, it was the least straight man. I'm trying to take out the stone beard was I the straight man don't sleep You were all together and I mean this with nothing but respect it's not cuz you're late I'm saying this yeah, you were by far the worst D&D player I've ever played with Rolling twos? Because, yeah. Yeah.

That's part of it. They really hurt your abilities and what you're able to accomplish. It makes you a lot weaker. It's not my fault I'm rolling twos. I watched a D&D movie. I was pretending I was so in it. I was like, yeah. Yeah.

No, I get that. The Dungeons & Dragons film? Yeah. Is it about dragons and shit? It's about, like, I think, a campaign. It's very light references to D&D. Is it about human beings in the normal world, or is it about fucking people fighting with axes? It's like a made-up world.

It's like a made-up world with a band of thieves that all have to break out. It's in the fantasy world. Okay, but it doesn't go back to a bunch of cunts at a table. Okay, got it. No, it's all living in its own and then Daniel yeah, then it goes to the goon squad He's like oh gosh you gotta roll in that 20 roll natural 20. Oh my god

Yeah, roll next point you get out. They didn't want to like make people play D&D. Yeah, like losers and dragons Wait, so one of us like jerks off the table? Not just one of us. Oh, everybody. So there's no dungeons? Well, no. It's just... It's different types of guys.

It's Gooners v. Dragons. Oh, they're versus each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Casper's dogs. Yeah, yeah, because you're never a dragon in the game, right? So you're a Gooner. You could be. You could be a Gooning Dragon.

Do you know what a Goon is in oz oh yeah it's like a football club no it's a sack of wine it is a sack of wine oh the goon sack right yeah goon sack oh god goon sack what's that filled with hey slap the goon sack how many fluid ounces are in there there was a fun post It was like on the Australian Goon subreddit For goon sack wine Yeah And they were like I am so fucking sick Of this goon meme

Yeah yeah yeah Yeah cause they just wanna enjoy A good old They wanna A bag slap And I feel like you had Something to do with this Me?

I don't know Absolutely not Yeah that's the goon sack It's bulging That's what It's Mario Party League It is bulging You don't have to say that it's just full of it is Inventive things to do with your goon sack full of liquid. That's a fucking funny title for a listicle

You could take out one word in any part of that sentence, and it's still funny. Yeah, it's like Billie Jean But for a comedy, I just heard a submarine ding. That? That's Daniel. Is it? Yeah. Building the submarine. Is there submersible business? We'll be doing a live podcast in the Mariana Trench, and then we implode like those billionaires. That's not good. I don't want to do that.

Yeah, no one wanted to. How would we get the tape out, Slim? We wouldn't. What's your controller choice if you're in that damn submarine? If I'm trying to control that shit? Yeah, I'm probably... Mouse and key, obviously. No.

No shot. You're like, guys, I can only go diagonal. Everyone's in it, and we're like... Sense is too high. You definitely want analog. No, counter-strafing the belugas, bro? Give me a Wiimote. Wiimote?

No, Chuck. No, no, with the Mario Kart steering wheel. No, no, you need, I want a Wiimote, but with the Wiimotion Plus add-on, so it's a little more accurate, and the residue will change up. And then a lighter. Well, you have a lighter guy. You need two of them, right? You light a lighter guy. You need two of them right? You light a lighter in a submarine is there anything crazy going on with that? I think there's a

Exploded so I got questions you could do it, but it'd be very bad cuz it take up your oxygen supply Yeah, fire take yes Wow. That's a good point You smart you made fun of me. Yeah, be pressing good questions. It's not a good question. I'm fucking smart. You made fun of me for asking good questions. It's not a good question. Do you think everyone just knew that? I, hey, sound off. If you think Dr. Mario is an actual doctor being dumb. Cigarettes are the only open flame allowed on most submarines.

It'd be crazy to light up a cigarette. This is some 1912 shit. The only reason they allow that is because everybody in the military must have been so addicted to cigarettes There's definitely a general who's like well, we can't we're not bad at cigarettes Yeah, I watched aiden phantom puff a cigarette 11 times last night. What you're phantom. I don't think so He's sitting there in a circle of people watching him tell him how he doesn't know how to smoke cigarettes. And he's like, He's Wu-Tang-ing. Wait, wait, you're talking about this? I don't understand.

He keeps going, I don't know how to do it. I'm sucking in the smoke. You put it in your lungs deep and you harbor it there. God, what? If you smoked cigarettes, you'd smoke some like obscure. I hacked like my smoke smoke addicted grandmother in front of zipper yeah

in the driveway yeah I can't smoke a cigarette if I put it into my lungs I will instantly start coughing that happened to my friend growing up

in high school he like he like rolled his like sleeves down he's like taking his first drag of a cigarette around campfire there's like

girls there and shit and he thought he was gonna fucking nail it and he just starts hacking and it's like yeah like your little lungs couldn't take it he was gonna fucking nail it and he just starts hacking and it's like yeah like your little lungs couldn't take it he was extremely embarrassed if they go sleeves

first for a cigarette I think that's about to happen yeah it was really funny I don't want to pretend I'm like higher and mightier than people in the past but I feel like if I huffed a cigarette and I started coughing violently I'd be like not good for you and I wouldn't fall for the you gotta use this to feel better and use what? think that dog to cigarettes oh you're talking about back yeah I don't think

people oh I see way back like in high school no no like way back in the 20s when they prescribed them I'd be like this isn't good for you I know this yeah this is good for your throat it cures the disease I feel like back then you'd be like oh that's new I don't know that they weren't coughing yet they had like no they don't cough black lung no this is like black owners killed you there's no coughing you just you think no one coughed until like until Marlboro invented coughing and then baby then they started the tropin movies it's like how De Beers invented diamond rings for engagements

this is Darwinism we started smoking Marlboro cigarettes and then we passed coughing down to babies, and we created ultimate weapons. I do hate it. 2000 BC, they were chief in that shit. Dude. Yeah, we all knew what we were doing. That's like almost as old as go.

They must have just been smoking any plant. The Rick and Morticus weed pipe. The cave paintings of a big pipe. Well, they used to chew on coca leaves and shit, too, bro. To stay up. They're crazy. During the rituals. We were at the gala last night.

Bala. Chakala. And they had two presentations and I don't know if you were mind blown, but they're like 25% of all pharmaceutical ingredients are found in the rainforest.

Yeah. And I was like, how the fuck we just harvesting plants and making that a drug? That's how it works. I know. What else do we got?

How the fuck we do that? Chemical, man. Chemical. How do we make chemical? There's chemical in the plant. You just fucking do it. It's not all synthesized. You just take DNA

and you swap a couple numbers, man. I could teach you a thing or two about swapping DNA. Does that mean you want to make out? It means you want to exchange fluids with you. I want to exchange fluids with you. How many fluid ounces do you think you've got in your mouth right now? God, I would fucking fill you and pop you like the blueberry in Willy Wonka.

I wouldn't stop. I wouldn't stop. Willy Wonka's gay chocolate factory. Yeah. And he's just fucking twinks nonstop. And he's pumping them full. You want to pump me up like Inflation Yoshi? I would.

Yes. That was what Hasan was playing last night. Infl playing last night inflation really Wonka. Oh, yeah, he's harvesting all the twinks They do they do play gay chicken a little too much At least you know actually they have a full gay on their squad that actually trumps us so hard No fear and well, yeah, yeah, they have the full game We have that we have a day walk. They have a gay and a woman. I know. And what do we got? We have a half gay and a woman. Three and a half men. New TVS comedy? Yup. Okay.

I can be straight. Yeah. You actually look better. Oh no, it's straight Aiden. When Dylan comes around bro. Yeah, oh yeah. If Aiden straight, this becomes Fresh and Fit. It's funny, I wanted straight Aiden to be Austin, but we already know a gay Austin.

Yeah, it can't be. Alan. So, Dylan, what'd you do this weekend, bro? Me and Ashley, fucking. Mostly made out. Mostly made out. Dude, she's hot as fuck. Your girlfriend's hot as fuck to us.

Your girlfriend's hot as fuck, dude. We think your girlfriend's really hot. I fucking know. Stop talking about her. Dylan, did you bring a fucking 30 or what, bro? Like, we're trying to get drunk. Start every morning with that. Oh, shit. It's a little early, man.

Hey, wait. Hold on. Tyler, bro. Like, you sure you want to do this? Like, my mom's going to pick us up in like 10 minutes. Bro, I'm talking about his mom, dude. Dude, your mom's got fucking huge tits. Tyler bro, like you sure you want to do this like my mom said because something like 10 minutes She's fucking hot as fuck Yeah, well she's hot as fuck. What's this guy doing? Why are we straight guys we're just straight guys pussy You're so cool Dylan actually so Can I wear one of your boots?

Right now? I just want to try it No I went to the gala as well So much for improv Yes anding nothing I was next to Devin You have to take it off You have to take it off his foot

Try to pull it off I can't take it off easily Ow! Chill! Chill! Chill! Chill! From the lower part you pull

Dumb dumb You didn't give me the instruction manual It's a foot! It's a foot Get It's a foot. Get it to him. Do it nicely. Okay. There's been a few feats in there.

It smells like a cutting board. Wait, do you go shoes off? Yeah, you can't put a shoe in there, bro. I thought people were wearing shoes in these the whole time. No. God. I thought that bad. Sometimes, man.

You just have a day where it's like are you fucking kidding i'm spongebob did you drive for anyone who's audio listener i'm wearing the crocs that that sora from kingdom hearts himself wore yeah they are huge zipper can you get us a skateboard this is what he wears when he when he hangs out just not fighting the darkness. You could look up Mischief Yellow Crocs I was showing Ludwig because because these are the Mischief is the company that made those big red boots that were popping off for a while And I was showing Ludwig the the skate video where they're hitting Huge jumps in the Mischief red boots on a skateboard. Yeah, it is Where these on like your ankles you don't even wear them on your foot like like it's like I don't feel the shoe here I don't feel it here. I only feel it here. Yeah, it's hard to walk

It ain't easy. I'm telling you I could not beat most people in a mile with all this swagger I got what's the fastest you could run a mile in the easy thing i could dust you so what's your mile time right now yeah it's post mile time 4 4 31 post mile post mile time contemporary you bro you're you're busting out like an 8 4 29 it's like a real it's like a world record like type guy it is very fast not a world record but it's very fast That's you'd crush like under five minute mile. Are you insane you'd crush for like a ninth grader I? Just have what it takes So we're both let him wear both

He's annoying me I want you to know this. Because I liked having shoes on, and they're warm, and it's cold, and you're gonna scuff up my shit. No, stop eating! What are you doing? This is the- this is- this is madness. This is Nick's selfish kickflip. He looks really cool. Fuck, you should start smoking, dude. Oh my god. Holding a- holding an unlit cigarette in your mouth? Okay.

Can he ollie? Let's go He's trying to ollie in the big boot Can you get your foot in already? We're watching Nick stand on the skateboard in the boots right now. Here we go Okay, he left the ground. The back wheel got up! He left the ground. You gotta slide your back foot up We also found out Nick pushes Mongo Oh, okay Alright No, I fixed it He fixed it, but he used to

He used to, yeah Which is kinda fucked up Pup pup I learned a razor scooter before Wait, you want your shoes? Yeah I don't know Trade shoes

Look kinda cool on me Yeah Swag Jack Nick back at it again Dude, I was at the We were at the gala And we learned that one One What was it?

Two dollars saves one acre of rainforest, right? Yeah. That just can't be true. But $2 also gets you a fucking blunt and a swish, which also saves my brain forest. Both of them. It saves his brain forest. Right. And so, but me and Sands were talking and it's like, what if we, instead of acres, because

no one really fucking knows what that means We just measure shit in dust twos Like a real-world dust twos? Yeah like the dust two map from Counter-Strike I don't know what the scale of dust two is either No you do. I have more than an acre My form of luck is a 7-11. It's like it's like a to mid doors. Yeah, right? Like that's what I'm saying. i do think you're on to something with the fact that acres are kind of an outdated term we need or like everyone's like a soccer field

it's like it's like this is well your football field's common but like this is a walmart it's a wall well there's different size walmart like this is your average target i like the idea of we adopt the dust to metric system right system for area estimation. You'd probably be closer to Europeans, too. You could walk from one end to the other end of Dust 2 pretty fast in the game.

So Dust 2 is the size of our warehouse. Or everyone in Counter-Strike runs really fast. Dude, can MrBeast make a Dust 2 map and then we fight in it? I don't think it would be

financially worthwhile. He makes Dust 2 and we do paintball with GoPros on guns, and we play a real kind of show. No, I feel like he would do it bigger. We'd shoot with real guns. Oh. He would hire a real terrorist. A group of terrorists and prisoners.

And SAS members. You saw he was getting a bit of traction, a bit of heat because of his tweet. Oh, would you stay in this room? His new experiment. He's a geek? attraction but a heat because of his tweet oh that would you would you stay in this room his new experiment he's got a new experiment that he dropped and it was like uh how long would you stay in this room thinking emoji i don't think it's actually it but no no it was if you stay in this would you stay in this room with someone else for a hundred days for 500 grand with a stranger and it's like a stranger it's like a big which is a movie uh is it yeah isn't it it's like a stranger like a big. Oh, just a movie Is it yeah, isn't it? It's like a movie. It's two people. There's a button. They're in a room together

I don't know you have the platform. No, I was Platform is it perky look a movie two people in a room stranger button big sexual stuff Drake liberating Holocaust camp. Mid-journey AI. Blood coming down from the walls. He was getting some smoke.

I think it's because as soon as you introduce another person into this dynamic, it feels a little more psychological torture-y. Yeah, I think people

relate that or think of that. I think maybe it's his theming though because he always does like fucking white room and shit, but like I watched Survivor.

That shit the same thing. Survivor's kind of fucked up. No, Survivor's in the outside in the wild where we came from when we were beasts. I feel like there's

people replying to that mad who haven't left their room in 100 days. Real shit. That's what I'm saying. Why you got a necklace? Why you got a necklace? Why you still logged in on Steam, but invisible?

We all know you're still no Zeke. Yeah, you're there Zeke Zeke Zeke. We all know that you're logged in on Steam How about you appear online Zeke or go to a dancing class with me Zeke? Hi Zeke Pussy boy. It's nice seeing you last night Zeke. I didn't see his dumb ass. Aiden I wanna I wanna feed you I want to I want to feed you Yeah And I want to feed you Until I've fed you too much

Yeah And I want it to be hard For you to be you Because of how much you've eaten Is it Would it be Would it be easy to make Like what you're feeding me

Perhaps pre-portioned Well I mean I mean it would be It would be exciting It would be quick Easy And fit And wholesome

But the thing is You wouldn't be fit If we fed you You would be far from and fit and wholesome but the thing is you wouldn't be fit if we fed you you would be far from it because you'd be able to sloshing around in your big belly i'd be a hulking beast no you wouldn't be hulking you're just midsection would be swollen like a berry it would be wholesome but you know what it wouldn't be is some of your holes not being filled because i'm gonna put all so much food inside of you that you're gonna be all plugged up if you didn't figure it out by now our sponsor is hello fresh isn't that cool hey hello friends over 40 recipes to choose from every week or you could be like me where the box that it comes in is just filled edge to edge with

one block of tofu which is an option that you just take a bite out of yeah and i just take it a few bites out of every day and it gets if. You have to time it right, because if you hold it too long, it does get a little moldy. Yeah. And that's the HelloFresh guarantee. Is that it will never. But is that it won't actually get moldy unless... And look, if you're Aiden and you don't know how to count or read, it's easy because everything becomes pre-portioned. And you just go, dump in, I'm putting all it in.

Pre-portioned, because it's just one big block. That is the portion that it comes in that i like it the best that's right and the thing about hello fresh's box is that the tofu juice never soaks through yeah never never box sealed box tofu juice just kind of accumulates on the bottom because it's insulated and there's ice in there that's nice isn't that nice and it reminds us of the dry ice that they would use at the supermarket when you bought popsicles sometimes. And they do have 39 plus other options, but I'm mostly locked

into the tofu thing. You really do like it. One time he put his whole head in there and he made like a man-shaped face mask. And he said, I'm Marshmallow the rapper. It was crazy. If you want to have some rappers, I don't know. come to your house go to my house and if not go to hellofresh.com slash 50 the yard that's five over the yard shut up

five oh the yard and that's 50 off plus free shipping say you're like me you still you saw marshmallow in fortnight and you really wanted to take a take a little bite yeah hello fresh is for you yeah it is for you if you're like that and in canada they call marshmallows didgeridoos right isn't that right aiden that's hellofresh.com slash 50 the yard five zero the yard and use code 50 the yard america's number one meal kit and a number and america's number one filled up boy for us for us oh my god you're like a raspberry uh hey listen to the yard now, bye. Because you're the Gala.

Me and Luderm are at the Dala. We're at the Dala. General. We're at the Gala General. And my girlfriend bought you. Your girlfriend? Why did she buy me? She came over the top of a $5,000 bid with 2K.

Yeah. She didn't need to do that. She could have gone 1K. Yeah. She bought me immediately for 7 grand, which 7 grand goes to the Rainforest charity charity Yeah, that's a few acres. It's a it's a couple dust twos now She gets your body and she gets my body for a night. I don't like that I don't know what to tell you She can do whatever she wants. She's merely the product. What if she sets up a fight between us? Ooh?

That'd be fun. I get to sleep you in front of your girlfriend? Well, you wouldn't sleep. I sleep like the fucking hypnotist, dude. I pull your arm down. What happened with this hypnotist? I didn't see this, but I heard everyone talking about it. Bro, he was clearly a hit with people who are like 45 on a cruise ship. Yeah.

Crushes at like conferences. Like he makes the men in the audience like do ballet and a 45 year old boomer is like oh no that that's weird cutie just wanted some entertainment and i think her exact words is she wanted a make you cluck like a chicken hypnotist not a uh change your life motivational hypnotist well that's what yeah we kind of got the latter, or excuse me, the former masked as the latter. Because he was kind of like a cluck like a chicken, but his whole speech was like, I can change your life.

He has to. You gotta unlock your mind castle. Open more doors. Alright, I'm everything lined up. He was also a European guy. He's like, alright, when you look inside your mind and I hypnotize you. That's what European guys sound like sound like no i've been here that's don't listen to them yeah that's what they sound like uh look inside the circle you'll find yourself i really wanted to do it like i wanted to get hypnotized in the real outfit like i wanted to fall into some trance yeah it's hard

i it was hard because every time i would kind of feel anything at all, I'd be like, eyes closed, I'd be like, now, look at your palm. Stare in your palm, it's getting heavier. I worked with the Celtics, the Lakers, the New England Patriots. You might have seen me on TV. Wait, deadass? Yeah.

He was like plugging his like, which was smart of him. He also has hypnotist.com. Yes! Which is a fucking crazy URL. So how am I supposed to stay in the zone when he's like- Is that how Judy found him? When he's like- Ohhhh.

Duh. Yeah. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Yeah, it was pretty lame.

I also- what was crazy is that the chat was on a giant big screen behind him. Oh my god. He could- he could clearly see, but maybe he either had the iron will or he didn't know. I don't think he knew how to read chat well. Your boots are... Like read a fast flowing or English. It takes a bit of skill to read a fast flowing chat.

Did he do any of the like call to action things where like after they were done being hypnotized, he'd say like a word and they'd do something? No. He did shit like, all right, now you're going to stand up and dance like a ballerina. You are a ballerina now. You're doing a spinny dance move. You're a ballerina.

And then they, you know, everyone up there is a streamer. It's like myth and seer. Yeah, it's theater kid like Mecca. Oh my god. It's theater kids and instantly they're like get up and they're like they get up, they throw the chair and they're like I'm a ballerina. I do wonder how this works on you know, your average cruise ship you know

like aiden's mom i think what happens in hypnotist shows is everybody up there feels compelled to commit to the bit so and maybe a couple people get hypnotized for real maybe but no one here did i think getting hypnotized for real is is more common than you think uh i watched a ton of these shows because there was this fair in our county it's called the wacom county state or county fair he was brave every year every year this is a safe space they would bring the this one uh hypnotist onto the fairgrounds and she would perform it was like biggest, the biggest thing that would happen at the fair. Kill yourself. It was a little too long to be me.

Oh, man. Guys, guys, come on. We gotta go to the fair. Leave your funnel cake behind. Christina Angel's gonna be there.

She's gonna hypnotize everyone. I wanna get some fried dough. We can't miss this. And teenage, really fucking high on edibles

Amen Would go With his friends That's beast To the hypnotist show It's probably like Going to actual church For like religious people

Yeah But going high Is like It's like Going to Oh sure Yeah off a gummy You're like

Wow god Is real And he's here with us But she'd pull She'd pull people That were Not actually hypnotized Like some people Would try to play into it,

like, basically try to pretend that they're hypnotized. And usually, like, of the eight people she's pulling on stage, probably, like, two to three of them every time have to get pulled off because they're not actually, like, falling asleep, basically. Right. And the other thing is some people fall asleep so hard, like, some people get so into the mode that when she acts, like they have like very little motion or reaction.

They just fall asleep on stage and then they can't get them to do anything. And then she just let them sleep through the performance while like the other seven people did. You saw this shit happen. Yeah, I saw this a ton. You believe it's crazy. I watched the show more than 10 times. And then the call to action thing same episode this

is extremely interesting thing she would do is while they're hypnotized she'd be like when i say this word you will do this thing later on and then the hypnotism would end everybody wakes up right and then later on in the show she says killed the Prime Minister keyword like something random like wheels whatever she had drawn the association with and then the person would get up having not been hypnotized anymore but they would have the urge to do some sort of action and and this would happen and and the person like does the thing but then can't they the thing, but then they lock in place. Like, why did I do that?

Whoa, did you mean? I don't know if I've said this on the pod before, but at my senior night for high school, there was a hypnotist. And I'm in high school. I'm edgy. I'm like, fuck all this. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real shit. I want to go play Grand Theft Auto now. Yeah, I want to go play GTA 4 and do the swing set glitch uh so i'm watching and my friend riley goes up who i'm like well if he gets hypnotized i believe it because he won't fuck around he'll just hold us up be up there and be like i'm not asleep uh he gets hypnotized and he falls asleep and he wakes up and they're making him do all this shit he was dancing around he was like being all weird and i was like this is crazy i And I was like, this is crazy.

I kind of believe this now. And then after senior night, cause senior night ends at like 4am. Like it's like goes all night. Yeah. It's like a lock in. And you're not allowed to leave. Like, like they take you in a bus to like this forest. And then there's like a, they built like a mini carnival. Y'all had weird places you grew up.

I went to a county fair. Weird. While Nick is explaining this, Zipper, can you search up that shooting game that happens at a carnival? I know you know what I'm talking about. Like the arcade shooter. The light gun shooter.

I remember this one. Regardless, long story short, we found out that Riley, after he was hypnotized, he drove to San Francisco immediately at 4 a.m. He drove all the way there and doesn't know why he did it. And he slept there for a night and then he drove back.

Was he different forever? I don't know. I haven't talked to him since that day. No way. I haven't seen him since there. Do you think he's alive? I'm almost certain he's alive. That's almost certain. Do you think he's alive? I'm almost certain he's alive. That's almost certain.

Do you think he's still hypnotized? It's like 50 First Dates, but every day he drives to San Francisco. And he just rushes out the door. I'm like a sleeper agent. Yeah, so I've always not believed hypnotism was real, but now I'm skeptical the rest of my life because of that moment. We didn't know. What I tweeted out while it was

happening one the guy was 35 chance he was the dracula flow guy but two i do think that was devastating for the hypnosis community was that man's display i didn't think like this hypnotist needs to kind of look like they just like work at barnes and noble they all look like they're magicians and that's what fucks me up yeah Yeah, the bro wore a fedora and it's like, we don't need to do this. No, no, you could just look like a normal dude. He looks like a dude on I Think You Should Leave. I think he did, yeah.

I think hypnotism fucking hypnotize fucking balls and... That is not it. What the hell? What the fuck is that? So all the candles are lights and you have to shoot out the candle lights with your fake gun. It's an arcade game.

I don't know what you're talking about either. It's like a horror game. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, I know because only Zipper would because he's ancient. He's an ancient Zipper who knows all history. He's ancient wisdom. He was there when the first pipe got made. I remember that.

Me and him do. Oh, by the way, actually, it's going to be too late. It'll already be sold. Shut up! I'm curious what your thing is selling for. Thing?

Your wig. Oh, yeah. If you're hearing this now, the Tony Star hairpiece will be sold by now, but it was doing actually pretty poorly. I was kind of upset.

Why? Really? Because I was like, why wouldn't anybody want that? It looks very pathetic. I pulled up the... The Tiltify page. If? Really? Because I was like, why wouldn't anybody want that? It looks very pathetic. I pulled up the... The Tiltify page. If you go on Cutie's channel,

you can find a link for it. But yeah, there's these items up for auction. You pay for them, you receive them, and the money goes to the charity. And I put up Tony Starr's hairpiece. It was the last thing recovered after the fireball. And no one seems to want it that bad.

That is shocking. That's so weird. That they don't shocking so weird that they don't I know what's his real hair Yeah, just somehow survived hair Tony started not have a hairpiece right that'd be gross. I didn't even say hairpiece you said hairpiece you You said hair system all of you. I mean I hated Tony Stark, so I don't give a fuck. He can rot in hell. He is rotting in hell. I'm worried my item's going to go for less than what I bought it for.

What's your item? It's the Ocarina of Time 85 Newman Plus sealed box. No, the collectibles you bought during COVID. Maybe it's because you wrote on it. Maybe it's because you signed it. You just alcohol wipe. No. What do you mean though?

You can wipe it off. You did mention that when you presented it. I also mentioned it. Maybe they don't like the fact that Ludwig signed it. Yeah, here's the Gala for good. How much did you buy it for? I bought it for 5K. Okay, 3,500 is not bad.

You could have just given 5K to the rainforest. I really feel like I did do that. That hair is so- wait, 395 is- Yeah, it only went up like $40. Wait, but that's really good. I don't think it is! I think it's fine. It looks-

I thought it meant more. It looks like a rat pelt. It looks so disgusting, bro. You're psychotic for thinking it would go for more than that. Wait, can you scroll down to the golden kappa? This is what I'm buying. Oh, fuck! You described in detail how disgusting it smelled.

No, I washed it. It smells like shampoo now. I have to beat this bit up. So what does the golden kappa do? It's a thing on Twitch. One person every day gets given the golden kappa, and if you type in kappa, it'll become a golden version of it. Only one on the whole website?

Yeah, and it's super rare to find and like, occasionally I think people just miss the day that they get it. Do you know that you have it? You have to type Kappa to figure it out. You don't get like an email like you have it today? I don't think so. That's crazy. And I don't know if it's actually like one person a day or if it's like, hey, they do warn

but all I know it's very rare and there's a lot of channels that do golden Kappa checks but this is the first time they've ever sold it and you can just outright buy it for a year of use Do they have the golden Kipo? I would do anything for golden Kipo. We love Kipo in this house. Oh the Kipo check Babe what's wrong? You haven't touched your all juvie's flavor Babe, what's wrong? You haven't touched your all juvies flavor. I'm halfway done with mine. Oh god, I respect that.

If he finishes his, he houses you. I don't know what it tastes like, but it tastes great. You like it. That's fucked up. It's just sugar, right? No, it's a sugar-free drink. It's just aspartame and sucralose. Well don't roll your eyes and say sugar alternatives like they're the same.

And don't sneak salmon when we're not looking! I know. Did you see that? That was disrespectful. Oh my god. He pulled out a pocket salmon like I'm not gonna heat check him for that. That was the fastest shit I've ever seen. Do you like pocket salmon? I do like pocket salmon, but like not at the gas station, bro. Like I don't know he had that heat on him. I can't lie. I'm missing the yard next week. Oh my god, who cares? Wait, you are? Wait, you are really? Cause you're gonna be in Nippondesk? I'm missing the yard next week. Oh my god who cares? Cuz you're gonna be in the pond he's gonna be in what pan will just come with you again We'll do it again. We'll go to your pocket Connor have three more spots in the RV

No, he does he does yeah, I'll message him. I'll message him Ask Connor and make him say no. I'll message him online. Yo, can you hitch us on a trailer behind you? What if we just sketch the whole way? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. You guys have the sickest combo at the end. Dude, we have so many points. We have so many points.

What's the concept? What are you doing? He does this RV thing where he gets a damn RV, gets a bunch of boys in it and then he drives to location and does challenge at location do you think that's problematic because it's a bit of a boys club no because I don't think it's meant to be

it's just the second iteration you don't think it's a problem go to the strip clubs what if well no one wants to be a woman trapped in an RV they've done RV trips in men and women and it was with Ice Poseidon in 2016 and it didn't go well, Aiden.

It didn't go well. You see that guy that dumped that cup of poop on Ice Poseidon? No. This happened recently. I don't want to. That's like the 29th

worst thing to happen to that guy. Yeah. It doesn't even crack the WatchMojo video. The past month. Some guy ran up on him and poured what seems to be a cup of poop water on his head.

And then the guy ran away and they chased him down and put him in a headlock and then got him arrested. Wow. That was crazy. Some people live different lives. Yeah. The only one cool that's happening is ice. Do you ever wish you had cultivated a community like that instead? No.

Are you sure? Yeah, but it would bring a little pizzazz to your stream. I don't think I need pizzazz. You're in short on pizzazz. How many more- Jump King again. How many more squeak streams are we going to get, bro? Oh no, I fell and I keep falling.

Chat, we got to go back up. It's the basis that created the art. Chat, we got to- Chat, we have to go back up. Chad, it's the hardest game in ex-Asian country. Okay, we're talking about repetitiveness. We're on the 117th episode of the yard, where this guy goes,

and we are new every time. We have a 10-minute late segment at the start. Oh, whose fault is that, Nabil? You were also late, bitch. No, wrong. How late was he? What time did he arrive? You were also late, bitch. No, wrong. How late was he? What time did he leave? You cannot be late if you're the third party member there.

No, you are late. When the time says come here, you don't come at the time. No. Yes! If I know Aiden is going to be ten minutes late, it's chill to be nine minutes late. You're saying that it doesn't matter that you're eating meat because he eats more meat. And we're two vegans. I'm saying that the prerequisite to begin the quest is all four members are here

So if you're the third member to arrive, okay, instantly all blame is shifted I did announce that I would be late so because he's arriving within the scope of that information. He's correct. I Want them agree with each other I? Understand and I you are in you guys are invested in each other being right because you have done a wrong thing. At the end of the day, we showed up on time. He has done an evil. True.

He's done an evil to us. I think that, here, you know what? I think your streams are good. That is dumbing. Oh, Slime can't chest box anymore. I think that if you let your fans pour poop water on you You'd be more interesting That's what I think

It's not worth it That's the thing Dubbin got rich And he has these big old fucking weird Crocs Because Aren't you rock climbing them? And he didn't have to do it that way Did you have to buy these?

Or these through your Crocs sponsorship? No, I had to buy them They cost $4.50 I got them second hand market That's crazy that Crocs didn't fucking throw you a bone. They didn't juice me up. That's okay. Yeah, they didn't hook you up with the crazy...

Well, you didn't buy the black Chicago ones. Are you fucking your relationship with Crocs? No. Is something wrong? No. Because they should have been on the ball for this. Why don't they love you? They gave you my own gibbets.

Yeah, but they didn't give you the big ones. Can you get big gibbets? Oh, do they have them? Can you my own gibbets. Yeah, but they didn't give you the big one. Can you get big gibbets? Can you get big gibbets for these? Imagine a bunch of little butt plugs and dildos flopping around. That's all I'd fit in. I know. It's such a big hole.

You got two tails on the back of the shoe. That'd be pretty cute. Croc don't make this. They don't have these. Croc collab it's a licensed collab like creation that's been like approved by croc that i do feel your finger that's just buddhaman are you talking about chess boxing man you haven't told the world yet yeah no i i was really if you guys didn't put the breadcrumbs together

yeah the breadcrumbs of slime being like, I'm going to sleep anyone. Also, I'm really into chess. That was new. I didn't admit that until the last week, which was actually the day, I think, that we found out. But before that, I was like, yeah, I work out a lot now. Hey, guys. Oh, I could sleep all of France. So if you guys didn't know, that was the breadcrumbs.

I was training for like a month, five days a week. It was really fun. I liked it a lot. And now I have no one to destroy You could do a street fight. I don't want to do a street fight. Oh, you want street beefs? We could get you on street beefs. If I can't fight Beach, bro. He would kill me Yeah, baby Hulk Beach Iraqi assassin leap baby Hulk. No, I don't No, I don't do No, I don't. Do you still want to fight someone? I was thinking about it as like creator clash or whatever. Well, there's the equivalent.

There's the misfits one, but it's kind of like anything that benefits Keemstar, I really just can't bring myself to be. I did get an Insta DM from Keemstar right after I announced that my thing wasn't happening. Yeah. He's like, how can I help, man? And then I replied, no answer. You replied, no answer? No, I replied and then he ghosted and then i replied no answer you replied no answer no i replied and then he ghosted oh you replied and he ghosted yeah yeah that is you got dice i'm so bad you gotta wear those shoes for life i know it's actually the punishment it's a binding

shoe you drop your pocket i don't know if you had the have the tenacity after saturday night because with radstads had a had a small gathering at his house and in the build-up to this he asked me to bring the boxing gloves from the office two pairs of boxing talking a lot of shit so he can battle it out with shake at the party probably in the backyard a real a real street beef all in front of rads would kill shake no no slime versus yeah no. Slime versus Shake. Slime versus Shake. Oh. This is just at Radz's dad's house. And then I bring the gloves. Everybody's talking.

And Slime is inside. Shake is outside. And they're both barking. They're both like, I'm going to beat the shit out of him, dude. I'm going to fucking sweep. The video of the two dogs are barking with the game. And then outside, somebody will ask Shake. He's like, so are you going to fight Slime?

He's like, ah, just one more game of beer dive in. He's like, we're just going to play a little more beer dive. And then inside, Slime, are you going to go outside and fight Shake? Ah, just one more friendly, man. Just like one more game of melee. I'm playing melee with Aemon and Yan. This goes on for hours. And then they just wind up playing melee instead of fighting.

Y'all ducked each other, huh? No, here's what we actually did. I don't know if you saw this, Aiden, you might have left. We stanced up without gear. I put the big gloves on. He has the smaller ones. We're in Rat's ass living room.

And I take one, I'm not kidding. I take one step towards Shake. He backs up immediately and almost knocks a TV over. And he's been drinking. I get it. You know, it's not a fair fight so then you backed

off and you said we can't and i said we're not doing this we don't have headgear and like you're not supposed to just you you fight the one time right you spar with the gear on which we didn't have but you don't just fight without head shit just for fun uh unless you're a beast which we're not do you guys know what beer die is yeah you you've heard of it have you guys heard of it before before this weekend jake apparently came and made this up yeah it's not throw up die and hit corner yes yes yeah it's like it's like a classic well maybe not classic fraternity game it's a pretty classic for a second and shake showed up at this party this is why he was drunk i think and he wants to teach everybody beer die out back nobody in the backyard has heard of this game except uh except me and i accidentally played it like a long time ago because i don't think it's

not like a beer pong you're also dylan super popular you know more frat games than most people i'm dylan and i'm teaching everybody i'm like if you want ashley to fucking look at you you have to throw a sick dime here uh but shake is like teaching the rules shake reveals that he has learned the game that morning because he went to a he went to a frat party in malibu dude shakes a weird life right now shake is a weird life and i was like dude i was like who whose party was that like why were you there I don't know what he said. And I was like, dude, I was like, whose party was that? Like, why were you there? He's like, don't ask me any questions. I thought we worked out this day.

Dude, that's what I'm saying. When did he have time to go to this? We literally worked out. He went to a fraternity party in Malibu, learned how to play beard eye, showed up at Rad Stats, and then chided people for not knowing how to play beard eye. This is such a shake drizzle moment, dude. Yeah, yeah. He's a bigger yes man than me.

Like, saying yes to things. Like he will do anything. He will say yes to anything. And then he'll come back and he'll be like, yeah, I'm the best at this thing now. He does have an ego on him. And I will say sometimes it needs to be lowered because he said I could become Sam Sulik

with a bit of trend. And I said, no. He said, it's all just a trend. Sam Sulik does not take a bit of trend. He doesn't sip trend. But even if he took all the trends Sam Sulek did, he would not be close. He'd be close. Shake's fucking huge right now.

Dude, we were at the climbing gym the other day. It was just me and Shake. And we're sitting down on the mat. And this literal, I'm not kidding, this seven-year-old girl is climbing the wall. And she's trying to do a V3. And she's too short to reach the first hole like she can't even get there so she starts to use the other climbs to get to the first hold so she can start it and shake out loud says she's literally cheating oh my god dude

that is so fucking three feet from this little girl and he's like she's literally cheating i'd sleeper Arms cross next her doesn't count it doesn't count he was on that shit Get down you like you know I didn't get a real bad threat. Hey, you can try it again though It's also such an advantage like little kids they weigh 10 pounds so they could probably just climb like crazy Well really good is that they can't fucking reach yeah, but they are very lightweight and very good Crazy. The trade-off is that they can't fucking reach. Yeah, but they are very lightweight and very good.

When they train. Hey, this episode is sponsored by NordVPN. Nord protects your online activity. And that's things like phishing, password attacks, and DDoS. You know what I call it? What do you call it? SwordVPN. You call it, it's not the name of the company.

Why would you call it that? Because I use it as a tool to defend myself. Like I would a sword. Okay, so imagine I am coming through your Ethernet as a DDoS attack. you have a sword tell me what you're gonna do i cut your head off i cut your head off immediately i've been i've been thwarted what would you do aiden if i was attacking you right now right now attacking you right now i'd yeah i'd let you kill me i'd let you kill me because i don't have nord vpn or sword vpn or sword vpn and i also use sword vpn which when you when you use our code it's the nordvpn.com slash the yard if you use our promotion you will actually get a free sword from the company it

comes with a sword a real sword in the mail no real story as well as a 30-day money-back guarantee you can switch servers quickly an account you can use up to six devices but most importantly you will be mailed a really powerful bladed weapon. And if you're Aiden and you play games like Mario Kart Wii Online and you have to connect to Germany, you could connect with a German IP. You wanted to. And you say, Sprechen Sie, Sie Funke Kong. Sie Funke Kong.

I'm Funke Kong. It's Norwegian, I think. No, it's German. It was German. Oh, it's all funky for me. All right. I don't know. This is bad.

This only works with Germany, though. You can't do this with other countries. I recently used NordVPN, true story, to get past the firewall on a plane to use YouTube because they were blocking streaming services on my flight. Scandinavian Airlines blocks gaming websites. Yeah, and they consider YouTube that. Like it's school. And then NordVPN bailed us out.

It goes right around it, yeah. So I was just using YouTube. I was the only person on the plane. You couldn't check Discord without NordVPN. Yeah, I used Discord too. This is a real story. Well, nordvpn.com slash the yard. You get a free sword,

and you can use your shit on planes as much as you want. It's more like a pool. Or click the link in the description below. It't matter it's risk-free nor's 30-day money gag guarantee that is norvpn.com slash the yard free sword not included not real let's get back to the episode where ludwig is back and we like him man right no shake lives a weird life i i as we hang out with him more and more, I learn so much. He becomes more confusing. Yeah. But ultimately, easy to sleep. He loves a good concert. That's crazy.

He loves to mosh pit. I didn't know that either. I was with him last night. He was like, I love John Mayer. And then he told me, he's like, you know, normally I wouldn't tell people this. I feel like I'd get clowned. He didn't say it right now. He definitely brought it up because we also had a thing last night.

And he was like, I actually brought my guitar today, but it's in the car, so I don't want to go get it. I was going to play John Mayer. What? He said that. Shake and dribble? It's because we were finishing working out and we were sitting on the bench talking about what our favorite John Mayer songs were. Jesus Christ. And it gave him the confidence to...

Nightmare blood rotation. John Mayer top blood rotation I like Daughters And a kombucha circle I'm surprised Jake took part in this White core activity Kombucha enema? Czech people are white Czech people? Czech people, yeah

What do you mean? I don't know I don't know, what do I mean? I don't know enough to talk about this further. Shake will. When this comes up, he's like, I do look racially ambiguous. Yeah. Oh, Shake has the bussing haircut now.

Does he? No, he just has curly hair. He just has curly hair. He got the fade. He got the fade. I saw him yesterday. Yeah, I know. And he has the bussing haircut.

I also saw him yesterday, and I didn't think he's got the bussing haircut. Zipper plays drum roll. He has a fade. He has huge biceps. He goes to frat parties in Malibu and then makes fun of nerds at parties when they don't

know the game team. Dude, he's gonna leave you behind a little, bro. One day you're gonna be like, Shaq, I need a video. And he's like, make your own damn video. Dude, when he says that

and you'll have to keep paying him because he's so assertive. I don't think that'll happen. He's like, actually, you pay me triple now and I don't even work for you anymore. What would Shaq have to keep paying him because he's so assertive. I don't think that'll happen Actually, you pay me triple now. I don't even work for you anymore What would shake have to do to get fired and I'm talking about do something you have to get stronger than me. Yeah Yeah George Costanza the blessed airgun so

Shake was telling me he's been goading Ludwig for being overweight. Yeah. He was telling me Ludwig will do a pull-up and he's like, wow, it's really good

for someone like your size. We were at dinner last night. We were talking about what good shape you're in. We all said you look great. It's true. We had a circle where we talked about

how good you look. I got a fit bod. You do have a fit circle we talked about how good you look you showed it off as a banana last night I showed it off with my hot banana costume you hid it from the world my hot bod? yeah show them I wore a bodysuit and I had to cut a hole in my penis

area like on the bodysuit to pee out of I was saying he was like a boxing corner man he was like a boxing corner man. He's like, I can't piss. You got to cut me. Yeah, I can't piss out there. I'm blind.

I'm pissing off. Dude, I pissed all over my suit last night. Really? Yeah, like all over. At the gala? Yeah, at the gala. Because the way my banana suit worked is that it was basically like, it didn't cover my legs. It just rode out in front.

So I had to move it over, you know, like a like a leaf in the year zero. And then I was peeing. And then I just I think I just fucking let go. And then it goes, oh, yeah, you're going. And then my piss just starts hitting the back of my banana. And it's there's just piss everywhere. And it's an all gender bathroom. What I didn't realize is venues weird.

It has an all gender bathroom and a didn't realize this venue's weird it has an all gender bathroom and a men's bathroom there's no women's two genders it's just all genders or men that's all maybe it's maybe it's because of urinals uh you have a urinal option select yeah the men's had one urinal in the urinal but it also should but at that if there's a men's and an all gender shouldn't i i don't know either Either way, I was rinsing it off and then people started walking in and I'm rinsing off my banana. Yeah. Because I peed all over it.

You peed all over it. Yeah, that's embarrassing. It is embarrassing, Aiden. And then I cut off my pee early and then I was like, fuck. And so then like 10 minutes later, I'm going back because I'm like, I got to pee again. You're waddling in your boots. I'm waddling in my boots with my piss smelly banana suit and I go into the all-gender and then there's a bunch of girls there and they're like no guys here yeah and I'm like you're like I'm not a guy just here you know how

you had to pull it to the side that's how girls pee sometimes they just pull it over if they squat in the parking lot my friend Kaylee did this it being their butt she was baller bro it was her birthday and we all went to a strip club her idea and then in the parking lot she's like i really gotta pee and she just opens her car door and squats behind it like a like a cop at a fucking armed robbery you know and like it was her cover and then she and i was like how do you do that because I was learning Oh girls are so cool. And then she's saying I just pull it to the side and you just I don't like it He's a pull it to the side underwear. I know but shops ain't it. Yeah, it doesn't make it ambiguous You pull it to the side. Have you ever seen the piss funnels that girls? Yeah

The one that makes it like a day You can use it to pee standing up. In a urinal. The extendo clip. Yeah. The silencer. And I think that's beautiful. Which attachment are you running right now? Also, I had a, I copped a ceramic monkey from the, from the gala.

Yeah, you stole the shit out of that. I didn't steal it. Cutie asked me before she even did the shit. She was do you want to keep this i cop it and then the whole time i'm walking around with a ceramic monkey and uh he was the talk of the town the ceramic monkey yeah he's a cute guy he's a cute guy are we concerned about this oh there's a man stepping around on the top of the roof because he's fixing the ac on my chest yeah it's the ac guy oh okay you know what you thought it was a ninja perhaps like a really bad ninja a loud ninja that's like your first day on the roof you're like a decent ninja oh my god speaking of maybe this is look i was watching ninja today earlier play fortnite on the stream why what what do you mean why why were you watching

ninja play fortnite that's a valid question on the stream earlier you? What? What do you mean why? Why were you watching Ninja play Fortnite? That's a valid question. On his stream earlier today. You don't play Fortnite. I like Fortnite. Do you? We like Fortnite. We like, okay. Do we not? We like Fortnite.

We all played in Fortnite on Monday together. Well, we did. Yeah, we did. What about Mondays? Talk about the blue driller. I'm watching it, bro. And there's a,

there's like, you know that new, it's not new, but like the way people will make fun of like campy comedy from like the 2000s. Like, uh, yeah, this is weird. Yeah. I watched, I watched back to back a ninja stream and then a video of that, a guy doing that as if he was at his divorce hearing.

And he's like, huh, this, you're taking the kids just what I wanted alert. And I realized that's just ninja. That person, you're taking the kids, just what I wanted alert. And I realized, that's just Ninja. He just talks like that all the time. He just ironically talks like that. And I'm like, that's crazy. You can't do that. You could 10 years ago. But it's now.

But he's been doing it for 10 years. It doesn't matter because he walked away with the bag. He does have the bag. It doesn't matter. One must imagine ninja happy? One must imagine ninja finishing out the terms of his contract I had a watershed moment. Do you think he's happy? I was like it was like one-to-one. Ah, no I don't think anyone who's who talks like that is happy. Do you think anyone's got a sleeve?

Shit, you got he's tatted up do you think people with critical success are happy no no definitely happy who streams what a great question Ludwig squeaks is he happy I think he is yeah give me someone bigger Doug Doug he's happy yeah no no miserable no miserable why how do you know just can feel it you feel that Doug Doug's miserable one's like you know what I should do for stream today? I should engorge myself with the worst things on earth. That's not all he does. And you're all like happy.

Yeah, but it's a decision from that mind. But he's got- From the fucking twisted, fucked up mind of a streamer. Yeah, so dark and scary in there. He's also keto. So all he eats is meat and cheese and beef. Yeah, he eats big cheese. And then shits out big stinky shit.

Dude, his shit float to the top. All shits do. It's a kinder. No, he eats big cheese. And then shits out big, stinky shit. Dude, his shit float to the top. All shits do. It's a kinder. No, they don't. It's kind of like a kinder egg. Those shits float. Mine sink. Bro, your shits float. Those shits float and bubble a bit. Wow. Bubble a bit? What are you eating? They fizz.

Is that a factor? You should have watched. No. Factor, there's enough microplastics in it that makes your... No, no, no. Factor. It makes your poop buoyant. What if you went to...

I don't have anything. I got you. I should hit the water like an Alka-Seltzer. Ew. It bubbles. That's a visual. For sure. We never thought we'd make it to 118, here we are and this is what you get this is the this is the final nasty like poop

speckles of what we can offer you ever take it a dump and then you puke in the dirt oh i did a 24 hour stream with squeaks and one of the things we were doing was the dug dug challenge for one restaurant that's it just one restaurant that the winner picks the loser has to go to and i won the challenge i made him go to kfc yeah easy and we're in the kfc drive-through only one small camry in front of us you're with him him? I'm with him. Okay. And one small Camry in front of us, one small person inside of it. And then the guy slow rolls us. Can I get the person in front? They're like, fine. Pull up.

Okay. And we pull up and the guy's like, $58. I'm like, I didn't know you could spend that much here. Did he get a gift card? You just get a cup of gift card. You gotta eat it. Still slow rolling. Out comes like two combo meals five biscuits one box one box of gravy yeah just a fuck ton of behind uh sam solik yeah and and then squeaks is sitting there we tallied up 6 000 calories one restaurant that's fucked up

that's fucked that was way that's the worst rng possible yeah yeah he hit the max i don't think 42 tried dampay it's it's easily a reset yeah you can't reset in this run. It's a no reset. Did he just skull it all? He started whining so hard. 6,000 calories is all. Hi, Larry Squeeg, man. 6,000, I don't think is doable. Send you to the fucking hospital. Especially if it's KFC, bro. Dude, Shake was, back to Shake, he was

bragging to me, like we were driving in the car, and he was like, yeah, Ludwig and Squeeg had all this KFC earlier, and then they let me eat the rest of it. And he was saying it to me like it was a huge come up, and I'm like, dude, that's gross. KFC earlier and then they let me eat the rest of it. He was saying it to me like it was like a like a huge come up. And I'm like, dude, that's gross. They let me eat the rest. And he's like, oh, no, I love KFC. Oh, my God.

Squeaks failed. So I ate along with him and then we gave Shake the rest. And then I'm making him do an hour of NPC stream in public. Oh, my God. So come see Shake Drizzle at Third Street Promenade at a date near near you. I'm going to give you Squeaks. Squeaks and Shake Drizzle at Third Street Promenade at a date near you. I'm going to give you Squeaks. Squeaks. And Shake Drizzle.

And Shake Drizzle. Shake Drizzle NPC stream. I'm making Shake go. Slime's a pussy. Slime's a pussy. I could sleep him. I love Squeaks, man. He was really funny last night.

He's funny. He just has it. He just knows. Today's podcast is brought to you by Cash App. It's got tools for saving, spending, and sending. And it's an all-in-one way to control and grow your money. Speaking of control, I'm a king now. I'm the king of this podcast.

You control me. It's because I've saved so much money with Cash App as my primary banking tool that I now own all of our assets. Isn't that fun? So kings become what they are by saving money. By saving money properly saving money not conquest No, the king of any land is just the one who has the most savings the biggest saver Yeah, really so nothing to do with swords. No, it's mostly rubies gold and savings, okay?

Mm-hmm what if I was to use a sword on you King? I would earn your savings no That's not like loot in a video game It takes discipline and you know online baking apps like cash app is this how the french work the french don't work like when they had a king and the king just saved a lot of money then they attacked i think they got rid of the their monarchy really famously because they quit saving money yeah it was funny if you guys were to download cash app and save your, you could afford to buy me a plaque for winning the company tournament.

Oh my God. And that story is a great example. They are a little expensive. And if you guys had more bread. Of why you should download Cash App in the App Store or Google Play to see why it's the number one finance app in the US App Store. Click the link in the description below. I do believe that story is a great example.

We don't need to hear more about the company tournament. Of why you should download Cash App. Or a plaque. I don't even remember who won it. I don't think anyone needs to talk about it. Maybe we go back to the episode because we will talk about it. I got closer to him than even I am with you guys this past week. That hurts. There's no way. That's true. We did the New York Times 36 questions

to fall in love. Oh. You've been wanting to do this. You pitched this for us to do this on the podcast once, and we all shot it down. Yeah, but he did it with me because he's not afraid to explore each other's bodies. I am afraid. Because I want you, but I don't want the responsibility to be with you. Like a dog. You know what I mean?

Right. I want you bad. I leave the house a lot. But you're a car, and he's chasing you down the street. Like a dog. You know what I mean? Right. I want you. I leave the house a lot. Bad. You're a car and he's chasing you down the street. If he ever caught up, he wouldn't know what to do. I want the best of you and not the rest of you. You want me, but then when it's time to ride me, you don't know how to handle it.

I want the best of you. I want the best of you, Ludwig. We did the 36 questions. It's intimate. Really? The questions are like, I mean, it's like everything you could feasibly ask that's like. Can you pull it up? Are they first date friendly? No.

Really? They're not. They are not first. I mean, you could do it on a first date, but like you are instantly getting in that shit. It's like, would you spit on it? What's it asking you? Yeah. Would you spit on it and ride?

Or is it a lube sitch uh zipper can you pull up 36 questions new york times it's an old ass is this how people in new york like get to know each other new york times is not just for people from new york you know that right what no why would you read it otherwise if you're not in the city right of New York specifically also New Yorkers are like yeah fuck yeah fuck outta here you ever squirt on a date fuck outta here do you say you ever squirt on a date on a date

I'm trying to think of like a first date question that's inappropriate it's like yo you ever fucking Chanel what that smell and welcoming a random New Yorker to ridiculousness Chanel East Coast

Chanel East Coast Chanel East Coast but it's just like a fat construction worker she doesn't laugh at anything she's mad all the

time fuck at it Zipper question is the fall in love Zip Ludwig's mad at Zipper because he can't pull it up now because what could Zipper. Questions to fall in love, Zip. Ludwig's mad at Zipper because he can't pull it up now.

Bam, bam, bam. Because what could Zipper possibly be doing? Is he gone? Oh, okay. Do you need me to get there? I can get there. The 36 questions that lead to love, New York Times. Pay right now for a subscription.

Fuck you! Did it lead to love? Do you love him now? I love him now. Do you think after that test, you could be like, yeah, I could marry this guy? You know what? I realize I'm not gay. Yeah?

Yeah. What? I don't know if I could. No, no, no. Is this it? I don't think it's the right way. They might have just taken him. Yeah, if you can scroll down.

Show me. Yeah, this is it. This is it. But go to like deep one. Go to like question 29 or some shit. All right. Here we go. Tell your partner something you like about them already.

Wow, that's very deep. No, I said 29. When did you last cry in front of another person or by yourself? Actually, two parts question. Answer both. Oh, geez. Go out 28. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Isn't that bad, Ludwig? Okay, look. What the fuck are you talking about? This is bad for Ludwig because he can't fucking open up. Yeah, he's like, I gotta tell someone something I think. He's like, dude, these are crazy, dude. I'll be honest. So last week, I shit my pants.

That's right. Dude, I got such funny context to that so so my girlfriend who who lives with us we uh she was telling me like the other day aiden came home and he was being like really like short with me and i was like i don't know if he like i did something wrong and like i i was really i was really confused and he was like going and he was like asking me to take my stuff out of the washer but like really weird and then she's like did I put it all together he was embarrassed because he shit himself oh my god aww

he had to ask her to take her stuff out so he could wash his poop why didn't you just bury it in the yard like an animal you piece of shit because it wasn't that bad why didn't you just wash it with her stuff in there hey Zipper 2 I'm throwing some shit in there so don't you just wash it with her stuff in there hey hey Zipper 2 I'm throwing some

shit in there so don't worry about it I'll just be real casual about it it's like it's like no big

deal but I do need you to take out your stuff like right now like right now I need to wash something right now but it's like no

big deal don't don't ask me why I need to wash anything right now and then she said the same thing we said where I was

like huh there's a pause and she's like I don't even know why she put him in there, and I'm like I know Your pants is very binary you either shit them or you did not shit in your pants or there's not shit in Your pants fine. I didn't I was spectrum that you didn't hit like a Mach 1 What what there's shit grease that's the in-between yeah, but yeah, I do that. It was a little great swamp ass What is shit grease? Oh my god? Your way through college yeah, it is what happens

This is what happens when you shit your way through college. Yeah, it is what happens. When were they supposed to learn this? You learned this in Psych 101. There's a point in your life as a person where you hit an age where sometimes your ass just gathers sweat. And because of the process of cleaning asses in America without a bidet normally, there's just like a little poop on the hair strands. I've cleaned my ass. My ass has been squeaky clean since the day I became a man,

which is when I bought a bidet. A bidet changes everything. It really does. Because you clean correctly. God damn it. We fucked up. Somewhere along the way. They're so good for us.

Ludwig, when's the last time that you cried in front of somebody? I don't want to share with you guys. Why? I'm here of somebody? I don't want to share with you guys. Why? I'm here for you. I don't want to share with my love. Well, it's a very intimate question. Did you answer that question with Squeezes? It's probably on stream. We just watched the stream.

I did. No, you can't. But we could. It'd be invasive. Invasive to watch your broadcast. It'd be invasive to us. Asking one of his mods when he last cried because we don't know.

Dr. Battle has a spreadsheet. Dude, you know why Ludwig is still a psychopath to this day? Because remember way back, that was often at the point of talk topic. No, no, no, no. You can't say what you said was a point of topic. We would talk about it. You would talk about it. Yeah, but we all would talk about it.

You'd defend yourself like a rab of topic. We would talk about it. You would talk about it. Yeah, but we all would talk about it. You'd defend yourself like a rabid animal. You've been telling me that I'm a psychopath for maybe five years. I know. And it started, I think, before. Remember when you read Elon Musk's autobiography and you're really into entrepreneur guys? I read...

Steve Jobs. Yeah, Steve Jobs' autobiography. I read Elon Musk's biography. Yes. Didn't write it himself. Steve Jobs didn't write it himself either. You were on some like Grussell, Sigma. Like if crypto was

around back then the way it was now, it would have been fucked up. No. It would have been bad. You think I would have been big into crypto? You would have been the one with the NFT apartment. No. No, don't try to get rid of that one. That's a you thing. You would have it. You would have it. I'm going to shame past Ludwig for having it. To be clear, I think I did get affected by it. That's why I thing. You would have it. You would have it. You would have it. I'm going to shame past Ludwig for having it.

To be clear, I think I did get affected by it. That's why I made a business. That's why I wanted to be all business. That's why I was like, let me make a merch company. Let me make a,

let me get a warehouse. So I'm driving him back. Which we're in. I'm driving him back from fishing, right? And he's drunk. Also, when Ludwig's drunk, he is just such a normal guy.

Yeah. It's, he releases his inhibitions. You were pretty drunk at the gala, and I just kept being reminded. I'm like, he's just a guy who's here. He doesn't try to be like the main character. He's just like, and I'm reminded of it. You being drunk is the best version of yourself.

My best friend comes screaming back to me. Do you know the movie Another Round? He's 40 minutes into Another Round right now. We've talked about this. We've talked about it a thousand times. But I just want you to know. We've done this podcast already. 40 minutes.

We've already done this podcast. Talk about poops again. When you're drunk, you're electric. That's the thing about you. And I would hate for you to not be. I just want you to know that that's the best version of you. I've been another rounding juvies for all of the yards. What's the psychopath thing?

What the fuck? The psychopath thing. We're in the car on the way home from fishing. He's drunk as fuck. Great. I'm having a good time. And he's saying, I hate amen. We're just talking about stuff.

We're talking about work and the companies and the yard. And I asked him, I was like, how do you like the yard like what do you feel about it and he's like oh it's like accomplishing its goals and i'm like how do you feel about it he's like i mean like the goals of the yard are like being accomplished and i'm like bloodwig tell me how you feel like do you like it do you not like it what do you do you think there's something to change do you think there's not and he's just like yeah i just look at things like in terms of goals. And I'm like, he's drunk in saying this. Like this is hardwired.

I wouldn't, if I heard that, I still wouldn't believe it's all about that. It was when his sister said it. We were in France and she was like, he's just like, everything's a goal. And I was like, oh, yeah, this transcends reality. Life. This is a before us. This is like like, oh. Yeah. This transcends reality. Life. This is a plugged in. This is like a processor motherboard. The loving before time.

In your brain. We had a good advice episode about this. We talked about goals. Goals. I like goals. Goals are good. When to make them and when to change them. Without goals, what are you?

What are we? What are you? What are we? That's a New York Times question number 37. Without goals, what are you? Dancer. But everything is goals. Everything is goals.

Here we go. But what happens when you run out of coal? Die. Make new goal. But it is true, Aiden, that many people have goals, and then they either fail to hit their goals, or they do hit their goals, and then they're like, what now? And then they're lost. Yeah.

But that's not me. I don't know who that would be you did accidentally put him in check oh and then i feel like your question of how do you feel about the yard outside of the act of doing it which is like i like doing the yard i'm cool doing the yard you're cool with doing it he's cool i'm cool doing it i'm cool with it being a part of my life and schedule yeah it's like if we ask you like it i know i started by saying i like it to be clear he said he liked it but then he kind of walked it back correction he kind of walked it sweaty you're getting a little haughty i said i like it and i love it that it's it's fine he was he's saying he will blow us on

our birthday but we will be like do you like blowing us on our birthday i'm gonna do it for you i'll do it i'm doing it for you i don't you. I'll do it. I'm doing it for you. I don't know. Am I doing it for you? I'm doing it for you. Yes. I'm doing it from blowing you down. He's being gaslit.

He just said he likes doing it. I did. I did. I'm fine with it. And then, and then the, the underlying question I feel like is what is your ambition with it or something to that effect? No,

not when I asked you. He's asking if you like hanging out with your friends and talking to them in a creative way and if there's a way we could do it better or if you just like doing it for fun i like i like doing it now you like the art i'm okay with it being a part of my life okay all right see and and learning the love language of ludwig is understanding that that's that's big love language the love dubbing languagewig is understanding that that's big. Love language. The dubbing language. Dub language. What time is your flight? It's not for a bit.

I'm fine. We don't want you gone. We want you here, boy. We got another 10 min. Actually. We got another 10 min? We got another 10. This shit flew by.

Maybe another 15 min. Yeah, that's right, zipper. Yeah. buy maybe another 15 min yeah that's right zipper yeah this is my yeah our my goal is that we somehow we make 50 million dollars why all of each and love in can retire and we can retire we can retire we can go back to watching in betweeners we need to buy lubbins we have buy them we need to buy them out of this whole operation break loving out of the matrix. 50 million. Do you make new goals? What do I do with 50 mil?

I don't know. Chill. Vibe. I can chill now and vibe now. Every billionaire needs to heal right here. Vibe. Just vibe a little. I don't understand this 50 mil conundrum. I don't know. I think the general question is, If you have

You have goals You wanna You wanna set out To accomplish certain things Eventually You will accomplish those things Based on your track record I will

When do you stop making new goals? When I die If ever When you're dead yeah I agree with him when you're dead Cause like I have goals too We all have goals But it's more like

I was When I was asking about the yard It's like I was just asking how he feels. When I'm dead in dirt and sand, I will die. No. What do you want him to say? You want him to be like,

I mean, I still, you know, really enjoy showing up because I like talking to you guys. And I think, you know, we don't hang out a lot as much anymore. So this is like a time to connect.

And I enjoy that. I wasn't fishing for that, but like, that would have been a category of answers that you would have enjoyed. And look at him, he's wincing. He's wincing

because he can't imagine saying it to us. It hurts to say it. Do you not like that part? I know. I've made it hard for Ludwig to say things like that to me. Ask him again.

Do you, do you like this time that we have together? It's a fine part of my day. It's the middle part of his day. The middle part. Every day it's the middle part. Never the worst part. Never the worst part.

Never the best. It keeps the void at bay. This is the $50 million conundrum. Because all your life's pressures revolve around sustaining what you've built. We all have a void. So you could just sustain it instantly with half of the money. I don't think that's it.

That's what you just said before. Sustaining what I've built? Like you started a big old company, now you got to sustain it and support it with work. Yeah, but I don't think it's like sustain it in perpetuity because I think that'd be a failed endeavor because I won't. It's like have it be sustainable without me, but that's different.

I have a question. Let's say there was like a rich weird guy right like some weird billionaire and he would pay you one hundred thousand dollars uh an hour every month to hang out with him and play video games and be his friend right and his name was me you couldn't make content out of it and you couldn't like do it it was like it had to be low key would you do that no no no why because like the cost of doing like marvel snap i would just do marvel he said a hundred thousand dollars an hour every month like i'm assuming one hour two hours yeah tops that's just a good deal it's just basically a sponsor deliverable. Yeah. Right. You wouldn't do that? No. Kelby brings that to you?

You say no? That's crazy to me. You say he's weird? That would be weird, yeah. Yeah, it is weird because he wants to be friends with a cute young guy. Yeah, that'd be weird. But all you got to do is play Madden and talk about crushing. Yeah, but it'd be weird. I don't want to do that.

That's so interesting. What would I do? I don't want to do that. No, this doesn't make sense to me. Because he'd like you to clean Nick's house for 10 grand. This is like Carlos Mencia. A fluffy. That's...

Oh, my God. That's a different guy. Wait, shit. Oh, wow. Voice for the Fluffies. Enrique Iglesias. Boo! Boo!

Fuck. Boo! I'm racist like the hypnotist. The ill mind of Mencia. I'll get us out of here. Is mind of Mencia a different guy? Mind of Mencia is Carlos Mencia, but that's... That's not Fluffy's name.

Fluffy is Enrique Iglesias. You guys got to give me a second here. Yeah, please. Get out the phone. I just got to find out where I went wrong. This will solve your problems, is being wrong categorically. All the same dot org. That's a fucked up website.

I remember that shit. Ken Chen used to terrorize us with that. God damn it. He would have you tried out. Yes. Who would I have tried out? I did it with someone recently. Well, we did it when we lived together.

I don't know who this is. What? Shut up, man. You don't know who Fluffy is? No, Mind of Mencia. Carlos Mencia. I don't know who this is What? Shut up man. You don't know who Fluffy is or no? Mind of Mencia. Carlos Mencia! I don't know who Carlos Mencia is. I don't know who that is. Is what I'm recognizing. No way! I mean, maybe I'd recognize him if I saw him. I think I recognize the phrase Mind of Mencia. You and I together. That's all we have. I watched so much Fluffy With Carlos Mencia and Enrique Iglesias. No, no, no. You said Enrique Iglesias. I'm like, isn't that a pop star?

Yeah, it is a pop star. Yes! You're twisting me up. Yes! Yeah! Yeah! I am also liable because he confused me. Woo!

This is bad. Hey, right there. Right there, buddy. Welcome to the Enrique Iglesias podcast. He is a singer. He has that one pop song. He's the son of what's his name? Gabriel Iglesias english let's get some else involved wow they're cool this is a racist episode um fluffy on a podcast said he was offered like five million dollars to go to some rich person's birthday party and hand out gifts and make quips and jokes and he said no why because he thought it was weird he didn't know how to make jokes isn't that part of being in show business is doing kind of weird shit sometimes

for the rich i think that it's okay to just do what you want and i think that's phase one mentality what if for a million dollars phase up mentality huh a million dollars an hour it doesn't matter about the money because it's still trillion phase one mentality you're like i'm actually i'm actually gonna be playing valerian at some kid's bar mitzvah in a couple weeks they wanted amen yeah i mean game and game this guy will give you a credit card and for the rest of your life you can put any amount of money spent on it until you're dead in exchange for one hour of suckle supple he's so he won't do sippy cup you guys are just so obsessed with capital and increasing the amount of capital. Yes, it's like blood! What is the goal of the money?

Getting our friend back. What? I don't see how this connects. I don't get that. I'll explain it. I'll explain it. So, imagine Offbrand, Mogul, all these companies that he has to work so hard to maintain. You do work so hard.

He can just spend a bazillion dollars because he has it and be like i've fixed all the problems i can do this tomorrow if i got a kick deal then for a hundred million dollars and then you have to be a kick streamer and the optics of that would feel like shit and you wouldn't like that this one all you got to do is hang out with weird this one is for free it's a gift you don't change your life at all you do exactly what you want besides you play mad but you fix the problem with money for an hour and then we get to watch him at tweeners again to be fair and I hate being fair

to Ludwig if you wanted to watch him at tweeners with him real bad you could make the effort to say I'm coming over watching tweeners

I think he'd say no I don't think he'd say no you never tried alright well this week I'm gonna say hey I'm coming over today that All right, well, this week I'm going to say, hey, I'm coming over today. That'd be crazy because I told you I'm going to Japan. He's going to Japan.

How long have you gone? A week. I'm missing an extra episode. When you get back. Talk about that. When you get back. I'm going to terrorize you. We want to buy you out of your prison.

Yeah, of your mental flesh prison. It's not a prison. He's in a prison of his own. I like my job. He built your prison. Yeah, of your mental flesh prison. It's not a prison. He's in a prison of his own. I like my job. He built a prison around himself. Yes, and I have the key. No one likes their job. I do.

No. I enjoy my job. I find it strenuous, but I enjoy it. Not like your job? No, it's a prison. Your job is a prison right now. All jobs are prisons. Not equal prisons.

Not when we own the means. He's kind of losing me. Prison. Wait, do you actually think all jobs are prisons? Not equal prisons. Not when we own the means. He's kinda losing me. Prison. Wait, do you actually think all jobs are prisons? No, I don't. Obviously not. I love what I do, are you kidding me?

What if you work in a place that builds prisons? Then your job is a prison. Your job is prison. You work in the prison business. It's not our prison, but it is prison. I think I would want to put you in jail for 30 days. I want to put you in a prism. With a big ball, bowling ball tied to your foot. Yeah.

Like, like old time jail. They didn't use bowling balls back then. No, that's where they got them. It was a prisoner's game. Yeah, they stole them from the local 10 pit back in fucking 1100. Yeah, and they would attach them to your ankle and so you couldn't run away fast and i would put that on you right what nothing nothing i'm imagining it on him isn't that funny it's fun it's a funny guy it kind of looks like sad he's like a political

cartoon i would be and on the ball, it says like the woke media. It's not even a heavy one. It's like a six. Yeah. But it's still annoying. Because it's like, yeah. Because it's actually not that powerful. And then sometimes you walk and it hits your other foot because it drags a little, like

rolls along. That hurt my ankle. Yeah, it hurts your ankle a lot. And you're like. The little part on the ankle also scrapes his other ankle as he walks by. And he's like, ouchie. It's so raw if you walk too long. And that's your life.

For 30 days only. And then you come back a better man. Than you were before. Why would this make me a better person? Why wouldn't it? I think it would make you a better person. You'd also just buy him different headphones. Do you think it wouldn't?

I don't think this scenario that he's describing makes me a better person at all. I think it would make you vindictive against this scenario that he's describing makes me a better person at all. I think it would make you vindictive against the cartoon character of a villain who started it. But if you deserved it, well, actually, you do deserve it. You do deserve it.

So if you did it... Why do I deserve it? Would you rather do this or be electrocuted? Electrocuted for one hour. Not sexually. For an hour? Am I guaranteed to live?

Yes It's a very non-sexual thing too Non-sexual electrocution Don't love it Fuck Yeah It's not fun electrocution Would you rather do that

Or would you rather be electrocuted for an hour? Electrocuted for an hour Of course It's 30 days of He says that But when people get electrocuted They're like I never want to fucking do that again

Do you think electrocuted for an hour is insane? That is so wrong But it depends on how many volts. Okay, how about an hour-long orgasm? But it gets unenjoyable after minute five. Dude, an hour is a lot. I bet that ruins coming for you. It does forever for life.

Yeah. Do we have this conversation? No, that's the great nut. Oh. The great nut kills you. The great nut is different. Yeah, because it's a euphoric end, like drug. drug I would take the great nut at what point like right now I do right now you wouldn't leave life now for the great right now oh wait no I

mean I'm a senator so you're not kills you he's gonna skip no I'm talking about different conversation we have where I asked would it would you have all of your orgasms at once now for the rest of your life or just have your normal life? Yeah, but that kills you wait no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no It would only be worth it if you're on like the Today Show fucking dropping ropes. I want to be like David Blaine. David Blaine like on the Luxor. And everyone has to watch me do it. So I'm imagining like you releasing the cum stream of a lifetime in front of like Fox and Friends. Yeah, yeah. It's like Regis Philbin and it's just like shooting past him like the Matrix.

I'm imagining like a very impressive performance in New York Times like Picture a picture the opening of the view and it's whoopi Goldberg be like today We have a young man who says he can do what no one has done before Brilliant Ludwig hooked up to a bunch of Cross He's hooked up to a bunch of pups. And it's Shane on a cross. He looks like the guy in Akira hooked up to all the machines. Or like Ghost of the Shell.

Roxas. He's breathing heavy. He's like, I'm ready. Dude, I bet the baby produced from that, too, would be just like a hand baby. Like an ogre. It would be more human. It's Sam Sulek out the womb Little trend baby, yeah, they get extra trend because I give him so much. Oh, dude. I bet that fucks a baby up trend Yeah, I'm sure it's fine. It fucks a human up to be clear. No doesn't it makes some hench?

Sam Sulek is gonna asphyxiate at 25. Don't say that. I've been watching his videos. He has insane mic quality. Good quality? Yeah. The shout-out. He just has like a road. Yeah, but he like attaches it to his hat. Yeah, it's so good.

That part is really crisp. You can hear him wheezing. It's like ambiance. Stop talking shit on Sam. He pushes his body to the limits. I like watching him work out. His back looked like the surface of Venus. Shit on Sam he pushes his body to the limits His back look like the surface of Venus it does look good with many holes I want to learn the poses, but I want to do them with no muscles

Yeah, they go like just like the the bodybuilding. Yeah, but then like nothing happens is hard I Can't I want to do the pose with my skinny twink back. Your back is getting big. Dude, a Sam Sulek style video where Aiden goes to the gym, it's 50 minutes long, and you're just trying to put up... Well, you're strong now, but you're just trying to put up the bar. Yeah, ate 4,000 calories today.

You just get really fat. It'd be great if it was a series and he kept at it because then he would actually really improve yeah but the 4,000 would make him

fucked up looking and you'd have conversations with every commenter and if you bulked oh dude I know bro I've been telling him

this for fucking a month if you bulked you'd look crazy he'd be way too powerful this is the only meal he eats in two days Now he's eating like a cow Yeah

A little cow He doesn't eat a lot And then he has one protein shake And he's like No I eat a lot I eat a lot I know I eat a lot It's like count the calories

Oh 900 Looking good Looking good my goat Oh if he was shredded That would be fucked up I'm doing it Can I ask you a question I'm doing great right now

Can I ask you a question I'm doing great right now If you If you finally got what was coming And you were on death row If you finally got what you deserved If we all get what we want And you get one final meal What are you eating?

He'd ask for some sort of Dutch fucking toast and salmon And it's really easy to finish in two seconds. No I think he has a great answer. I would never order toast scoggin as my last meal.

Toast scoggin? What would you order? I'd get the hairy crab the hairy crab dish I ordered one time it was the best thing I've ever tasted.

You do talk about that hairy crab. Hairy crab with some sort of butter on it was the best thing I've ever put in my mouth. I love the idea of a death row meal. It's like, at the very least, we are a human.

We are human. What do you get? I think I get like a anti-death potion. It's like in Metal Gear and it puts me to sleep. No, tell me more about it. No, I want to hear more about the death potion. It's in Metal Gear. Yeah.

And it's like you bite down and it fakes death. And then they take you to the room where the dead people go. Yeah, Solid Snake's in there too. Oh, you're talking about like the thing that makes it look like you're dead for a bit. And then you wake up. Yeah, I'd probably get like an anti-alexacution serum. And then you wake up. What do you think you wake up?

You think they dumped your body outside the gates? Yeah, they put you in the hole. And then you're just like, all right. No, I wake up on the table and I sleep the morgue gates. Yeah, they put you in the hole. And then you're just like, alright. No, I wake up on the table and I sleep the morgue guy. Yeah. Now we're fucking playing with fire. You put him in the box. I put him in the box, I put his clothes on.

It's like, let's meet Johnny Morgue. And then I walk out free man. Go to Mexico. What are you eating? Yeah, so anti-electrocution serum. They don't electrocute people anymore. We only do that to 80. Why do you get to talk about my glass meal?

I think they do. I like how it tastes. You just like it. I think there's some states where they do electrocute. No. I think so. Texas for the sport. Show us Texas.

Aren't there a couple where firing squad is technically allowed still? I think like, yeah, but I don't think it's probably. I think electrocution has happened in our lifetime many times. Dude, a firing squad, can they just miss? Well, it's probably i think electrocution has happened in our lifetime many times dude if firing squad can they just miss well it's multiple people so yeah right but what if you're like and then they all you just get lucky yeah divine intervention i don't think it's like people everyone has blanks but one person right oh because yeah because you don't want to be the person that like did it and on your crying you're firing a blank yeah but one person has a real bullet but like if somebody missed per se,

I don't think it's like, oh, you get off. I think you do. I think you should. It should be like that. It should be like that. I think it should be one. I think we should have the death penalty is what I think. But I think if we did, it should be one revolver, six rounds. It's a recreation of the range

in Valorant and you have to run around and dodge the bullets like I did with tens. Yeah. And if you dodge all six, you get off. I think that would be prisoners advantage there because all they would do is train agility. They would do suicides in their fucking cell. So let them. Just back and forth all day.

They'd be phenomenal. Is there an electrocution zipper? You know what I'd pick for my meal? I'd pick something that takes like a fucked up amount of time to eat sorry guys i'm not done for like six extra hours like i'm like can i have 11 000 hot dogs it's not only eat but source and i want them tied together like the cartoons yeah so i can go the question zipper was what states still offer electrocution as a method of death penalty? I get it. Isn't electrocution, it just means it kills you, right?

What? No, it lets you live. No, no, I mean, it's not just getting shocked by electricity. It means... Alabama, Florida. Many states, six states. Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Arkansas. Mississippi, Oklahoma. Noticing a bit of a theme with where these states are.

They all use electrocution still as an option. And then lethal injection. Isn't lethal injection like fucked though? Yeah. I mean, it's all fucked, right? Yeah. We should probably just get rid of the death penalty. There's not like a very easy way to kill people super efficiently.

All right. What about a guillotine? If you had to make a new death penalty. The guillotine failed so many times. Did it? Yes. Because if it was too dull, they go like, ow, guys, fuck. Do you get to live that?

Like the firing squad? Like it doesn't... If your neck stops it? Yeah. Oh, you got a hench neck. They bring it up and they hack it. You work your neck out all year. Dude, your neck's so big and it's like, fuck, let's do it. Let's do it. Brock Lesnar does not get his head

cut off. No, he lives. Every time I hear guillotine, I think about that girl in my dorm who said I should be subject to the guillotine

because Smash GG got $11 million in startup funding. She said that you should be put on your head on a mask. Because you work there? Yeah. So I Facebook posted when Smash GG got in startup funding. She said that you should be put on the, your head on a, in a basket?

Yeah, so I Facebook posted when Smash EG got its series A, which is I think 11 million, so venture capital funding. And then she had a Tumblr that nobody knew about except one other person in my dorm, which happened to be my roommate.

And she made a post about how this white guy in her dorm got $11 million for his Super Smash Bros. tournament. You didn't even own Smash CG. Yeah, and said I should be guillotined. You were making like 40 grand. Not a tournament, a tech startup that I am an intern at. Do we have her number?

Hmm? Is her number available? I think she blocked me on Facebook when I confronted her about this Oh you confronted her? You said hey you said that I should be killed What's the deal with that? I'm gonna burn a mill and make it ten Yeah she didn't

She didn't apologize And then she asked how I found out about her Tumblr page And then I wouldn't tell her that And then she blocked me I'm on her side that's pretty beast You didn't confront her in person? No She is being very beast but i like aiden for being like why are you saying i should be killed like if elon musk was like i bought a 40 million dollar car right i'd be like i want you to have the guillotine used on you i'm funny for that i he's not a winner no no but you're

funny for it you're not funny for it saying it on your like personal like like screaming blog No, I had to tweet it. That's the difference. That's the Pepsi difference if she just said it on your Facebook post That'd be so yeah. Yeah, that's huge That would be like your dad sees it. You deserve a little more swag. Yeah, right But yeah, I do want to confess that was me to confess that was me you were just talking to a random girl on Facebook yeah that was my tumblr you know what else is me is in me in the patreon episode up next the patreon episode is not going to feature Ludwig if you're okay with that if you're okay with that come through if you're not okay with that I want you to

skip the patreon what do we want in two cheesy gordita crunches. That's what you... What? That's your last meal? I like that. I hope you have fun in Nippon. I'm his guy. You're him guy. I'll have fun in Nihongo. I hope you bring your big boots. I don't think I will. You should

bring them. Because they'll be powerful. I'm hoping to bring one backpack. It'd be so annoying if the person on the plane next to you was wearing those. No, it'd be funny. It'd be funny if they made noises like Spongebob's. Like the old BTS floor. If you wore the right shoes, you would sound like Spongebob

all day. Everyone's looking at you all day. Hey everyone, thanks for watching The Yarn and see you later. We'll see you in the page- Goodbye forever, Hatria. I will never be back.