The Yard - Ep. 118 - Would you do THIS for $10,000?

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig's time on the Japan RV trip, The Yard being brought up at World's, and how Ludwig would pay Aiden $10,000 to watch all of One Piece...

it's called if christianity is clearly true then why don't more people believe yeah and you watch this i watch this this this morning. Why tell more people believe? What is your take on that? Are you a believer? Well, now I am. I watched the video. God is light. He's got a hypothesis and conclusions and he uses science and empirical evidence

which I think is fucking dope personally. And Christ is good. Whoa! It's so dangerous to be doing this. It's so sharp. It's actually so sharp. You look so good. WOAH! Jesus! Oh my god. It's so dangerous to be doing this. Dude, it's so sharp! It's actually so sharp. Dude, you look so good, I hate it. It's fucked up. I hate how good you look.

Dude, you look like Luke. Oh my god, that's the- Let me see, I wanna touch it, I wanna touch it, I wanna touch it, I wanna touch it. Is that the Oni katana that you won the tournament? Dude, it says you won the tournament. Yeah. Cause he won the fucking Valorant thing. He won the Valorant tournament. I earned that blade that I wield. You would have to hack at Aiden's neck to cut his head off. I have a request.

I will. Killshake. Killshake. I'm like Eddie Brock in the church in Spider-Man. It's sharp on the end. Killshake Dressel. Yeah, okay, so Aiden has a problem today. He's got a new enemy.

It's Shaken Miles, which really, the problem is Super Smash Bros. Melee. Because he fired up a game, and he plays for the first time in two weeks, and Shaken Miles are giving him shit. I would be there if I wasn't on the other side of the damn desk playing fucking World of Warcraft. You'd be chirping. I'm losing to a fox named Greasy Hot Dog, who over the course of five games, I'm realizing, is very good. And he's just, and he's just mauling. And now he comes in, he's fucking screaming at Shake and Miles. And then Ludwig's like, Nick, apologize. And Nick's like, I didn't do anything.

Nick was telling him to shut up. Nick was just saying, you fucking chill out. And the vibes are crazy. So we need a vibe reset. You did it. We need a vibe reset. Hey, everyone focus up. I want everyone to take a deep breath with me.

Ready? One, two, through the nose. Out the mouth. Why are you getting mad at Shake shake he lost me in a fox did you really does it mean you know about this i'm saying why'd you get mad at shake because he's chirping yeah but like his chirps are it's like it's like a bird through a window vibrate he can't reach he's kicking me while I'm down. As someone who responds to chirpers, it doesn't matter how low and small

and pissant they are. Really? It doesn't. You're mad that they're saying something. It only matters actually if they're big. If it was like Leffen behind me chirping, it's like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's fucked up because that means you respect Leffen more than you respect Shake. At Melee, you should.

Absolutely. At Melee, you should. I the world of Melee, absolutely. Well, what if- At Melee, he should. I don't know, Shake tells some ideas. I three-stock Shake in bracket at Genesis and I haven't done that to Leffen yet. Surely Shake is so much worse than Leffen that he has ideas that Leffen would never think of. You think about that? Want some Yomi?

And that's why you need other people's perspective. Yeah. Shake's gonna fucking tweet out, they're doing tricks on it, bro. They're doing tricks on it. Welcome back to the Yard, episode 117, everybody. You fucked up. You're back. I'm back. I am back, and

me and Shayk are gonna run a marathon. And we started today. Shut up! So is this running, cause you were walking me through this last night, And we started today. Oh my God. I heard. Ah! Day one. Hold on. So is this running? Because you were walking me through this last night. You're like. I thought of a genius strategy.

You had a weird cheater strategy, which is. Join us. On day one. On day one, you will run. Join us. One minute. And then tomorrow, he's going to run two minutes. No, no, no. You're not pitching it right.

Sorry. I'm not pitching it right. Let Big OG, let Wide Man pitch it. Do you guys want to run a marathon where you live in the world? Step one, get off your tukus today. Run for one minute. Wait, can you do it in the European guy who likes American sex? Yeah.

Hey, sexy, sexy viewers. Hey, sexy viewers, you want to run fast and long for me? You know I need... Shit, man. You want to get fast, you can run one minute one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Great stamina, big fucks, one minute? Not enough.

Great stamina. You're gonna have big fucks and great stamina now. We run one minute today. If you're listening to this, you must go outside and run for one minute. Okay. It's not that hard. One minute. One minute's not that hard. Any speed, just one minute of it? You just have to not stop running.

Okay. That's it. That's the only rule. It can be a slow run, but it has to be a run. It can't be a walk. The definition of running being both your feet leave the ground at some point. No. You know if you're walking.

Like, do one of these. I'm just saying, speed walking, that's the definition. Yeah, but fuck that. Both your feet are planted. You don't need, if you're trying to figure out the way to like walk max then this isn't for you you know it in your heart you know what a run is when you're feeling it don't try to cheat only cheat on your girlfriend yeah the only that's the only no he basically said it none of you guys are brave enough to put to pipe up on the dude i, you're the only one that-

Honestly, I thought I couldn't make it better. You're single. That's how I felt. You're the only one that's single. I so badly wanted to participate, I just thought I couldn't make that better. Rare moment. Day two? I would never cheat on my girlfriend.

Okay. I would never do that. Why are you saying it like you're lying? No, I would never- You sound like you're confessing. No, I'd never do it. I'd never do it. You'll never do it. I'll never do it. I would never

do it. That's so nice of you to say. Let's all go around and say... I'm not realizing by affirming that I would never do it. You sound super guilty. No, I'm not guilty. Hey, men, call up your girlfriends right now. I would never jerk off in a public Dunkin' Donuts.

I would never do that. Because that's not something you should do. Call your girlfriend right now if you're listening to this and say, I would never cheat on you. No, I mean like never. I would never, ever, ever. And say,

I have never done it. I could not be more clear that I would never cheat on you. Call your girlfriend and say, from here forward, I will not cheat on you. I want you to know that from this moment forth,

I vow never to cheat on you. You know, I confessed something to Aiden's girlfriend last night. Really? Yeah, we were at the Halloween, what was it called? Halloween spooky hayride. Yeah, spooky hayride. And we were walking out. I told her, I was like, because Aiden's girlfriend has like a more interesting name than like

your average name of a person. And I told her, I was like, you you know sometimes when I'm just like in private Pucks a Tony Pucks a Tony's just use that for now. Yeah, so you like I told her, you know Sometimes when I'm just like alone and like in my room, I'll just be like Pucks a Tony Yes, I'll just do that to myself sometimes that's just like it rolls off the tongue so nice Yeah, and she was just like that oh, it's so cool. Nice. I'm so into it.

I'm like so good that she wasn't weirded out by that. That's great because I had a conversation with her and it was like, you should watch One Piece. And then she's like, what's that? And I had to explain what One Piece is. To a polite person. It's the meme of like the Chad guy at the football game and the girl who's listening. Yeah.

But it was worse because I was trying to explain it coolly. And then I had Nick Yingling. So I was like, yeah, it's about like this pirate and he has a bunch of treasure, and he buries it. And Yingling's like, he eats the rubber rubber fruit. He eats the rubber rubber fruit. He's like gummy. His name's Luffy. He's gummy.

And it's like, oh, come on. You're not telling it right. You're not telling it right. He does eat the gum gum fruit. Tell him about the gum gum fruit. No, Ludwig. You're being stupid. No, no.

See, all the fruits, yeah, all the fruits, you're being stupid. No, no. See all the fruits. Yeah. All the fruits. You have to say the name twice for some reason. Don't watch it. It sucks. Ludwig, you suck. Yeah.

That was the conversation. And then, and then Aiden said the dumbest shit he's ever said in his entire life. He has a big track record Ludwig. I sent him an offer. Sharks. I sent him an offer. I said, you have to watch all of One Piece in two weeks. Two weeks. It's an offer?

This is an offer. You can watch all of One Piece in two weeks. One Pace version, which, by the way, is an edit where they remove, like, intros, outros, filler. Fucking A. It makes it 60% as long. Piece maxing. Just for some reference, it's about 600 episodes worth, 20 minutes a piece.

So we're talking about like... One day the yard will be that long. We're already there. No, I don't think we'll ever... Well, each yard episode is like five months. We'll never do that. We might already be that long. Okay, anyway.

Our conversion rate's crazy. Continue after the most hurtful thing you've ever said. So he has to watch all of it, two a week. It's about like 16 hours a day on average. And I will give him $10,000. And it's all he's allowed to do is watch One Piece. Oh my God, is that worth it? And he said no.

It's not. It is worth it. It's not like, Aiden, it's not worth it. To the weebs watching, they're like, of course I'd do it. I'm already going in here. But to Aiden, is it worth it? Aiden has like a human life. He has hobbies and he has things to do and he has girlfriend and he has friends.

I guess he already does the same thing with Valorant. He does, which is kind of funny, but I think it's the fact that- He does do the same thing with Valorant. Yes, but, or gaming in general. But it's funny, like he doesn't want to watch One Piece. That's the thing. Yes, because he would easily, if I said, hey, for two weeks, you have to live in this small, small, like two by two apartment in Finland.

Yeah. Yeah. And you have to. The ground is made of Vegemite. Yes. It's your only food. And you have to like order on your own without any translator or friends. Yeah.

You'd be like, oh, wait. Wait, how do I sign up for free? It's only two weeks. But the moment it's One piece and he has ten bands He's dumb for saying no I think I don't think he's done 16 hour shifts and you lose ten We're alive ten bands ten band rack. Yeah, but like ten bands bro is not a lot for us It's just not you you've created a monster he's in the group chat talking about taxes yeah he was complaining a little bit y'all have become republican no no yes no not once have i

complained about the amount that was the one thing you were complaining about lives in the group chat paying a tax bill talking about how it's not automatically withheld i hate that i have this facade of the idea like idea of money being, but then you have to pay it out. I get it. I hate how they take our money and we should be able to choose where we spend it. The money will go around eventually. Highways should be built by free labor. I want to fund the high-speed rail and the new metro stops.

But let's do it in a libertarian way. No, let's not do the libertarian way. I want the highways to be built by free labor. Free labor. Free labor. Yeah. You know what? Children are great laborers because their bodies are like rubber.

Because they've all eaten the gum gum. Yeah, they've eaten the rubber rubber. That's how we'll convince them. Yeah. You never finished your pitch. Yes. Run for one minute. How is it?

Oh, the offer's $10,000. Well never finished your pitch. Yes. Run for one minute. How is it? How is it? Oh, the offer's 10 grand. Yeah. Well, first off, would you take the offer? Uh, no. Yeah. But that's because I don't have a lot going on right now. You can't stream it.

I know. I wouldn't. Them have switched. I would do it. I did switch. But if I had shit going on, I wouldn't do it. No, I wouldn't do it before. You've never switched.

Of course. You wouldn't do it before, but you would eat one of my gum donuts? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. Like, yes. Yeah. I'm going to keep building up these 10K deals and then cash in.

Would you do this? Tell the fucking people about it. I want to turn this on you. Yeah. Same offer. I offer it. You've already seen it. I'm giving you the same offer.

16 hours a day. One piece. Nonstop. You can't do anything else. And at the end of two weeks, you get $10,000. You would, of course, say no to that, Ludwig. I've done it. No, you haven't.

Not in two weeks. I've done it. I've done what you're talking about. You didn't do it. You have not done what you're... Yes, but not in two weeks. Not in the chunk. That's the whole issue.

The time constraint. If you gave me the same offer and said three months, I absolutely would do it. Absolutely. It's the fact that it's in two weeks. It's because it's 16 hours a day, Ludwig. Yeah, but you're paid. Ludwig, you're not supposed to see it all. I've seen it all.

Why are you dodging the question, Ludwig? It's not about... Here, do I need to rephrase it to you? Okay, one piece has more than the yard right now. That actually might not be, though. Let me... I'm rephrasing it. You have to rewatch all of One Piece within two weeks.

Oh, rewatching sucks. For $10,000. Let me help you. Your memory is wiped. You don't remember what it's like to either come in your pants at night or watch one. I'm Ludwine. And you're dubbing. I'm dubbing. But you're still dubbing with all the same

responsibilities and the money you make. Would you do this? Yeah, my memory's wiped. I don't know my job anymore. No, it's not your memory wiped. It's just the one piece and coming in your pants. I hate this. You've lost. I'm dubbing. I'm dubbing. You're being intentionally obtuse. That's not fair to Aiden.

Say what you fucking mean. Would you do that? If I somehow didn't remember one piece, I would do it. That's not fair to Aiden. Say what you fucking mean. Would you do that? If I somehow didn't remember one piece, I would do it. You guys are wearing the same shirt. No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. You have too many meanings and responsibilities. So I'm not allowed to answer for myself.

You're saying it. Oh my god. I'm going to kill Ludwig with the katana and then I'm going to kill Jake. Last night. Last night. It's fair. We were at Ludwig Lubbin's house and I think you were gone and you Last night. Last night. It's fair. We were at Ludden's house. And I think you were gone and you were gone.

And it was a small group. And we were watching impractical jokesters for some reason. And there's an episode where they make one of their friends get Novocaine in their mouth. And they're all numb and fucked up in their mouth. But at the same time, me and Ludden had the same idea. We were like, we could do it to Aiden. At the same time, me and Lud had the same idea. We were like, we could do it to Aiden. He said it, and I was on the brink of saying it.

It's just a guy filled with Novocaine trying to teach a class. And he can't talk, and all his friends are laughing at him. Aiden, often in my mind as well, gentlemen, is like a crash test dummy for all the things I think about. He's the Mythbusters ballistic gel guy. And I want to put a bullet in his head to see what happens We brought Aiden to put a bullet through his eyes It'll kill It's an Aiden made entirely of ballistics gel and it's in a car crashing against the wall

So funny my My secret is that I'll be okay because I was also a gum gum child laborer. And you ate the fruit. You ate the government gum gum fruit. Yeah, and they had me work on the railroads. So when you shoot me, it's going to do nothing. He's okay. I missed it.

We all missed you. What? Run one minute. Okay, yes, please say it. The next day, you run one more minute. Yes. One minute's not hard. Third day, another minute.

Maybe at your pace it's not hard, my pace. You keep doing that until the end of the year. So you can run 367 minutes straight? Until the end of this year. So you can run 75 minutes straight. Which is? An hour 15. I didn't ask.

That's so long to run. But you can do a minute. But you're doing, like you can do a minute. So like if you, you can quit at any point. That's the fun thing about this challenge. You can quit whenever,

but you're not going to quit at a minute. It's like smoking. No I can't because I'll feel shame. Yeah, but like, that's up to your level of shame. So much.

I think, then you would do the whole thing. Then you would learn how to run a marathon by the end. Somewhat similar to watching One Piece nonstop for two weeks. The problem with training for a marathon is at the tail end of it like the last few weeks of training for a marathon you're running like two hours a

day it's so much of your time so much of your time per day what what do we what are we so obsessed with time he comes back from japan and he's like- Over in the Nihongo we uh, we slow it down man. Why slow it down? Take naps and lunch. In the woods, the bugs- They eat your butt, you love it. What? Is that what Chris- You're so bad at the European-

That's what you and Chris are really good at. Yours is really good. Mine is the gold standard. I know, yours is like American- Yeah alright, let's fuck! Yeah you're doing the American and Japanese games accent. The Yakuza guy? Yeah, yeah. Let's be clear, Ludwig's king at the accent.

Let's be real. I think he misses sometimes. I'm European. You're pain. I'm European. You went to Japan. Did you have fun? Did it change you?

I was thinking he would come back all different. Did you have more fun on this trip than the one before so this? On this car Thought you would have learned more Japanese on this trip seem to be cycling the same three phrases Coco Cara Oh That means to your cookie cutter That means a bottle of my own but my piss I've bottled my piss isn't cocoa here

it's the ancient Japanese word for it cocoa is here yeah I've bottled my piss but cocoa cara is from here so from here on out you shut your fucking trap

when it comes to me and my Japanese learnings right also from here on out I will never cheat on you would never I would never but from here on out

specifically specifically we'll never. I want to clarify. I didn't do it before, I'm just saying. I just want to reaffirm my vows. But if I did, you wouldn't know. If anything, a good boyfriend would re-up that he would never do it. I'm reaffirming my vow, my silent vow to not cheat on you.

And it is no longer silent. I've had this vow. It was silent. You've had this valley was silent Yeah, I know I had a vow but I figured I would verbalize my vow to have make it with more conviction All right best worst and middle part. Ooh Rose and thorn if you will and stem the Japan trip, it was great dude It was great man the best or his fucking question the best part was when I caught a big-ass fish It was such a big fish. You fish in Japan to fish. It was such a big fish, Nick.

Oh, you fish in Japan too? Nick, it was such a big ass fish, bro. It's crazy because the pond's so little, though. It was a really little pond. That's how the fish get in the pond, though. Because they scammed them. Did you just steal a koi from a public building? Connor got scammed.

He spent $1,000. No, you're not allowed to fish koi, I don't think. I don't think so either. If you grow them, you can fish. fish you go to the fuck you want with them They only exist in fountains at the mall When a guy with the koi tattoo dies one is born in a pond And if it's your pond, you know It's your fish. Right, I know.

It just feels weird when you say it. Boy pond. That's where Aiden would go. Your property. It feels like you think that about other things outside of fish. If you grow a thing

in your backyard, you can do the fuck you want. Growing shit in my yard to fuck with it. It's just not necessarily true. It's fucking yours, dog. It's not, though, right? It's not?

Who owns a goddamn government? No. You can raise it, torture it, whatever you want. You can do whatever the fuck you want, bro. You can do whatever the fuck you want, bro. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. If you grow a koi fish in a pond in your yard, you do whatever the fuck you want.

You can take a magnifying glass and, like, do a little... Dude, you can burn its eyes off. I wouldn't do that. From here on out, here on out I would never burn you're telling your koi fish from here on out

I will never burn your eyes off with magnifying glass ever eyes already singed and he's like I can't see you

but that sounds so nice I would love that best middle worst you caught a fish I caught a big ass fish

that was the best part of your whole trip yeah it was dope as shit. That sounds dope. Connor paid a thousand dollars for this OG son to take us fishing with his grandpa. Yeah. Oh, I know that one.

That's a little nihongo for you. Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des.

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Unc-des. Unc-des. Unc-des. He brought us out to the ocean to go fishing. Fucking beautiful. We think we're going to go fishing in the ocean. He brings us to a floating dock. It's a small square that goes around this little pond. And then he just shoved a bunch of fish in that pond before we got there.

He did. He injected the fish. Yes. And he was like, Zelda minigame. Yeah. And we're just there catching these big-ass fish in this a little area So it didn't feel that good, but there was one fish It was so so so dope like you're basically your parents gave you an Easter egg hunt and you found a big ass No, but it was Nick. It was crazy Is a crazy yeah, it was a good. I actually think this egg was there before they put them all there

I think I found it was actually the Easter. Yeah, it's a big. It was a booty. I actually think this egg was there before they put them all there. I think I found the only one. I think it was actually the Easter Bunny. No, it wasn't. It was this big. No, I saw a picture of it. It wasn't that big. It was this big. Oh, dude.

He's the fishtails pinball cabinet. It was like the length of your torso. It was big. It was really big. Dude, you want to make your fucking arms. It's on the live Instagram. I'm obsessed with you. It's crazy.

He looks so fucking crazy. We were talking about how you're always wearing tank tops on stream yeah we do be talking about that well so my packing strat i packed the day of because when you fly there you're not allowed to sleep so i stayed up the whole night i woke up did like a 5 a.m hike i got back i packed my bag so i would sleep on the plane i only packed six tank tops three shorts and then six fruit of the loom socks and six fruit of the loom underwear that's it okay and it was tight and i just wore this tank this was the tank top i wore just had like a default like cartoon outfit like bart simpson

every day i'd rock up with a new tank you're a gta5 character he's gonna turn into like a zuckerberg like i wear gray shirts and jeans every day i don't it's gonna happen i feel like anything he ends up doing is just so washed because it's like. Wait, Ludwig or Mark Zuckerberg? No, Ludwig. The yard. No. No.

Your life. It's like, okay, I went to Japan and I fucking found out this like world of like being relaxed. You only got fucking this thing called mochi? Dude. It's like ice cream. It's rice though. Rice though. And it's dusty like my nuts.

Okay, what the hell? It's the same texture. Bro, what's up with his nuts? Like your nuts are like mochi? Dusty as a... Yeah, you never heard this before. No. Dude, you ever fuck with mochi and it's like...

It's kind of like a nut sack. It's still like a nut sack. Well, mochi got your dead skin. It's got ice cream inside. It's like mochi ice cream. Yeah. Because well mochi got your dead skin it's got ice cream inside it's like mochi ice cream yeah cause mochi ice cream you feel it around

yeah and it's a little warm mochi no now I'm gonna think about slimes balls when I have that next time I think about them a lot how often do you think about slimes balls

you asking me yeah every day my damn life that's time every day my damn dinner no I'm washed

tell me why I'm fucking washed no I was saying so you caught a big fish. No, I'm washed. Tell me why I'm fucking washed. No, I'll say like you're a rich guy, Pilt. So it's like everything you do is through the lens of being a rich guy who's discovering something about the world.

The world of your life is the flowers outside of your house. Who would never, never take two weeks to watch all of One Piece for $10,000. I would do that.

I would never, ever do that. But he'd tell his employees to. Classic CEO doesn't want to do it himself. Well, I've done it. I've done it. I've done the working do that. But he'd tell his employees to. Classic CEO doesn't want to do it himself. Well, I've done it. I've done it. Tell the working class. You would have everyone summarize the week's episodes to him.

I also, you know what? Type this report up. The reason I thought of it is because there's a Conan O'Brien bit where they trap one of their interns in a room and they make him watch all of Game of Thrones in preparation for the finale season. Wait, that's fucking awesome. The fuck? The show's cool.

And then the guy comes out and he's like, it's pretty good. Yeah, it sounds like a mid-idea even when you say it. It's funny to watch because it's like a CCTV footage of this guy. And occasionally it'd be like Red Wedding. He's like, damn. Like, whoa, no way. That's also helped by that show is actually pretty good for the first season. Pretty good for a while, yeah.

Well, One Piece is like the greatest. Is One Piece the game of that? That's also helped by that show is actually pretty good for the first season. Pretty good for a while, yeah. Well, One Piece is like the greatest. Is One Piece the game of that? That's the fish. That's this big. It's not that big. That's that big. It goes from my shoulder to my dick and balls. When I say not that big, I'm not saying it's not big, but it's not as big as you're

in Kitty and the Mice. I just watched what you did there. Double it. But for one, we would have been so impressed with you if you didn't just exaggerate. Check it out. Check it out. No, that was a good one. That was a good rotation.

Visually, he's using his hands to show that the fish he caught is way bigger. That's a fucking big ass fish. I'm proud of you. It's a yellow tail. And this is the one the guy just threw in there, right? So that's cool. There was three of them. It took me five minutes to pull it out of the water.

Where did you all drive? First of all, who do you you think if you had to just call somebody in this group the? Greatest outdoorsman ever for life like who would you say it is? Anyone anyone here you have to take a lot of week of anyone here would be you and you alone Well back against the wall could be like the wall. I didn't know would it get mad at the fish. That's the problem It's don't want the bait dude I like paying extra come on with the worm

yeah Aiden would try I learned that Aiden's go to bit is eating stuff he does like putting things in his mouth like keys we got an award

from Patreon like we we even told you guys this we got shipped an award and it's like creators of the year or something it's very and it's like Creators of the Year or something. It's very strange. It's like a sculpture of someone's head. It's very weird.

You'll like it, I guess. What the fuck? It looks like a poop with corn in it. That's pretty cool. Let's go. They requested that we take a video of us opening it. So me and Aiden opened it together and we opened it up and while I'm opening it, Aiden starts eating the packing peanuts out of the box and chewing on them.

Those are edible. And I was just like, dude, what the fuck? Yeah, well he did it for the bit, right? Yeah, he did it for the bit, but I'm realizing that's his go-to. Did you swallow? Uh, no. Dude, he chewed one up until it looked like food. They are edible.

No, they're bio- these ones were biodegradable. Yeah, it's the edible ones. So, I think I could've committed. If it's in your backyard, it can feed to anything. Yeah, they're the flavor blasted ones. If to anything. They're the flavor blasted ones. If you grow the flavor blasted peanuts. But he was unpackaging it. And I was like eating it for as long as he was taking the wrapping paper off.

And I kept telling him to hurry up. And he was slow. It just made it a very different video. What was the award? It was a trophy. For what? For like being big Patreon creators. They gave us. Okay. Patreon is for like being big patreon creators. They gave us okay

Patreon is doing like creator awards or something and they it's the first it's the very first one They've ever done make the pages and it's like a show we show up and we got fucking the page It sounds like they did that but they just all nailed out awards. What's the specific category? No, it's content. It's a milestone award It's like a YouTube plaque youtube plaque yeah we were talking about this a bit last but they're handmade so presumably there's not a lot not a lot of them like it was obviously handmade yeah the handmade guy's head and i was curious like what are the accounts on patreon uh bigger than ours and like how has it changed since like the last time i looked and all of the accounts with more if you go look at the list by most patrons,

like half the accounts in the top 20 are for Sims 4 mods. What? Sims 4 mods are huge. And I was like, dude, I was like, what is this? 70,000 patrons, Sims 4 mod,

Sims 4 mod, Sims 4 mod. It's like 11 of the top 20. I didn't realize it was that big, but I know it's blown up a lot in the past few years because when we played the Sims back in the day, I was looking for mods that would let you play multiplayer, and they were super janky, didn't work well,

and then now they have a bunch that do very well. The mods are crazy. There's an uncircumcised mod. Literally, there's Sims fucking mods. We need that. Yep. It's representation. There's not only mods that makes the Sims fuck,

but you can choose how much skin they got on their peeps. They were all circed in Sims? That's fucked up. Well, you don't see. It's all blurred. But you can choose your own adventure any way you want it. Zipper, I sent you the trophy. And what we realized looking at it long enough is that it's the shape of the new Patreon logo.

Is why the head is so weirdly shaped. Oh, this is just a promo for their fucking Patreon logo change. Yeah, man. That is weird. Oh, that's a weird thing. It looks like it has a croc on its head. It does look like Ludwig Croc. Yeah. My favorite emo. It also looks like a creepy baby. Or a poop with corn in it.

What is this horrible? I like it. That's really weird. No, this is not what they gave us. Are you being real? No, this is what they gave us. It came in a package from Patreon. I feel like you guys are fucking with us. This looks like Death Stranding. This is not Exploding Horse.

That was awesome. A great bit. This is different. This is real. This is horrifying. Yeah, and now it's in our house. And there was also, it does explode like a horse. And they credited the artist, like handmade by, I can't remember her name.

Oh, fuck. I love it. Now there's a human attached. Now you care. It's well made for sure. Yeah. You can tell. God.

So that's ours. We win. Well, that's fun. Thanks to viewers like you, we've won Patreon. We beat the game. Yeah. And now we're going to do the extended levels. No, we're going to do Patreon hardcore where it's like.

Where we reset, where we delete the Patreon. We delete the Discord and try to still continue. the discord yeah plus but we remove the lowest tier oh yeah all the five he's go patreon hardcore and it's a hundred dollars it's fuck you tier only yeah that's the toughest one what what is uh what's our gender breakdown for patreon do you know off top it's probably the same i feel like it's not you think it's different i think more women use patreon i'll check right now why do you think i do feel like there is a higher percent of women that are active in the discord from what i know in my years of making why isn't it called her scored i'm just saying so yo says that just saying i'm not fast enough to think of something funnier so so it lives it plays and we continue um page well i the reason i say is because in my years

of creating women have always been more involved in like the deeper layers of enjoying something i think we've talked about this before yeah like po P.O. Box, most of the stuff is sent by women. Yeah, women are more like core heads. Meet and greets. Anytime that happens, it's usually more women than men. And I feel like Patreon is another bastion where I could believe there are more

people on it. Dream was talking about this. Was he? Yeah. Oh, you were with the Dreamheads? Were you at the concert? No, he was at a party. His head was between his knees and he brought it back with the dream were you at the concert he was at a party he was in a in a group and he was talking to i think it was austin about his his breakdown for his audience versus like who goes to the concerts and his audience breakdown is like 80 men i think and then but the concerts is almost are are almost like a hundred percent women. I,

or something like that. Who, I have never met a human being in my real life who is like, I'm into dream. You're 33.

But they're out there. I know. I think they're just younger, right? I know. Which is a good thing. How could that have backfired? It doesn't actually backfire,

but it's more like, I cannot, hang around on middle school. There is a whole world and I will It's just like there's this whole like there's like this world that I can't even fucking see it's just like this invisible war idea set to

To give you a counterpoint. Have you met someone in person who's a big fan of Tim the Tapman? No, cuz I don't go on construction sites. He is adored by truckers. God, can you imagine working on a North Dakota oil field on your lunch break, and you watch Tim crack a a knife and you're like, yeah, all right, that's my guy. And you just get back to work. Yeah.

There's a whole world. There's so many worlds out there. There are. So there's worlds. The world is so big for us. All right. This is literally a line from Kingdom Hearts.

What? Sora doesn't say, all right. You guys, there's so many worlds out there for us. They're so big, man. Did you see?

They're so big for us. All right, man. Did you see? They're so big for us. All right, man. Did you see the clip at Worlds? Oh. Did you, Devin? I don't know. He's intruding upon. He's invading culture.

I've permeated the membrane. Zipper, could you go on our subreddit, the Yard subreddit? Oh. And then click. It's like this third one. It's slime being mentioned at Worlds. Yes. I saw this on my stream. So for some context.

Let's watch it, let's listen. Let's watch it in a second, but for some context, you have a lot of mannerisms that have infected my life. The answer is Patreon doesn't track that metric. Yeah, he was with me for a while. The natural cycle is you do some shit. Yep. And then...

Eventually, it's picked up by viewers. He's going to be doing this in two weeks. He's going to do this the whole time. And then, in part, my viewers. And so, for a long time, people were saying, Ludwig, you're sunsetting. Yep. Which was not the best one

It kept saying it They stopped saying it cuz eventually the Sun goes down 24k viewers now so I don't 33k recently go 32k I was playing I was playing Suica game and then while I'm getting TTS donations They're all impersonating slime, but with the Elmo voice which kind of sounds like Jerma doing an Elmo impression. So it's like Would it be easier to take care of one dog or nine dogs So badly I just want to pull string slime I am already

he's already I want it all like I want to hold it and be like it's like alright man I was thinking we have a

we have a friend named Sam from New Zealand and I was like this is the the domino of Sam doing an artesia impression

yeah oh Sam is the domino that knocks down to this world's caster in 2023 saying all right let's listen to it so world is happening right now for league of legends they're in group stage this is live yeah big big viewership go ahead go ahead dj spin that shit so aria has six and that's all that matters i watch a lot of the And Slime has this thing where he keeps going, Alright, man! And it's like, all I can hear

is Appaman every time I hate it. Alright, man! He's in the rafters forever. Wow! You've given him too much leash. During Worlds, I watch a lot of the Yard. That will tend to load.

Wow! No, don't make this up, you! During a professional League of Legends match. Yeah, don't make this about you guys. He said slime. He did say slime. And then he said the thing I say. He didn't say it should be called Herstory. He didn't start eating. He didn't bring out his big ass muscles.

Okay, come on. Yeah, no, we all have our attributes. We all have our things. We're in RPG. He doesn't play no ring comprehension. We're an RPG. Yeah, he wasn't late to his job. Who are you guys talking about for the moment? In the topic channel this week, I had a Ludwig compliment thing I wanted to get to,

and I don't want to get to it anymore. Nah, it's all right. You know what I'm talking about? That's the fucking thing. He doesn't even want it. He doesn't even care. He doesn't want it. In one ear, out the other.

I want to cut your muscles off. What? In my backyard, I can cook a fucking roll. And then grow them on the ground and make a koi fish or whatever happens. I don't think that. I want to grow corn out of your muscles. I want to grow another one of you and do whatever I want to. You know why I'd be the greatest outdoorsman?

Why? It's because I'd kill and eat you. And I'd live for weeks. Here's the thing. You catch and eat fish. I catch and eat you. Because your muscles are so big. You have so much meat in there.

I would feed you for a while. Yeah. Your gains would go away so fast in the wild. Oh, you'd be worthless to me. No, because I was gone in Japan for 10 days. No, he's a calisthenics guy, dude.

He'd figure it out. No, but his gains, he can't support it. This is what I've been doing recently. I've been doing like 100 push-ups, 100 squats. Oh my God, dude. Cutie sent me this video.

Oh my God. It's the fucking, it's the camera outside of their house and ludwig is in he's in like this tight ass like blue underwear and it's just his underwear bro and he's like taking a call outside like like on the street is he doing the thing where he looks pregnant no no no's got like this tight ass like spandex undies and he looks fucking amazing crop it so it's just him so it's not revealing of the area uh i probably shouldn't um and it's like and so he's he's he's taking a call and then he's like okay and he's all done and he starts walking back inside but then he stops and he just gets on the ground and does 20 push-ups you're so pissed and she says she's like she just said like this is for you and i'm like i to her i was like what does this accomplish

ludwig like what the fuck is it like no he's beast mode for that it is beast mode but it's so funny even looking this is yeah this is just what he's doing. And the camera just caught him doing it. Well, the camera detects when there's a human. And then I didn't know this. So I've been back there. I have a, I got a, like a cold bath. Yeah. So I have a cold bath.

That's what I do back there. He's got a cold bath. You would never watch one piece of TV for 10,000 hours. You would never use a cold bath. Wait, hold on. What time are you waking up these days? Not laterally. Not early enough to have a fucking cold bath.

Wait, what do you mean? You're taking cold plunges? I do cold plunges. You're crazy, bro. What's your meat look like when you're in there? It's so small. Can you describe it in detail? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You ever see a zoomed in 30x image of a fly? It's like when you leave a carrot in the fridge behind some shit for like a month. It's like a dumpling. It's got the twisted top and it's all bulmed at the bottom. Zipper, can you google macro image of a fly?

Yeah. So you're taking cold plunges, meat as small as can be that's about right that's really funny you're a fucking funny guy i've thought about this a lot and then i do the push-ups right before i get in warm myself up okay i see that's part of your routine what time of the day you do this about whenever i can can squeeze it in. It's not like about a schedule. Because I've heard the whole cold plunge thing is you like first thing when you wake up. It's like how you start your day. Yeah, it's like the fucking Mark Wahlberg.

I'd rather fucking die. I hate being cold. I do it as like a discipline thing. Yeah, I'm sure. Like just to prove you can type of thing. Yeah. Hey, shut up! Yeah, it works pretty well.

Yeah, it did work. And we were talking to you, the viewer. Fucking loud as shit. He was talking to you, the viewer. Fucking loud as shit. He was talking to you, the viewer. He was hearing your inner dialogue while you were on your car ride to work, and he was annoyed by it, so shut up, viewer. It was boys in the office talking to him. They're hooding.

They're hollering. Yeah, that's it. I do it whenever I can, and it's just to see if I can do it. Well, isn't it bad? Because, like, it's your body, bro. It's good for your sciatica or some shit don't ask me I don't understand it's nice you're doing it fuck

it's not nice and your it's not nice yeah when the fucking there's no hot water in the fucking shower after you work out oh this is so funny we talked about this we haven't talked about it I posted it on the twitter because I was, the people need to know that there's fucking

a method to the madness. We don't just dump on Aiden because it's funny, which it is. Because he deserves it. We dump on him because sometimes he has these crazy fucked up lines that he takes in his logic and his thought. So there's no hot water at the fucking office in the shower. We work out all the time here. It's like goddamn Y in here.

That is one of the biggest reasons people come in is to work out. It's the Young Men's Honors Association. Young Men. The YMAA. YMLA. Yeah. Young Men Honors. Anyway, I'm fucking, I go and I take a shower and i just like wait for it to heat up because

i like hot water because i'm a fucking goddamn american yeah this is my one trait where i'm like i couldn't live with the beasts because i hate cold water i just fucking hate the beasts don't get warm water yeah the beasts only get cold i'm like waiting for it to warm up and it's just not and you realize there's this moment when you realize like it's not gonna warm up and i've got to either do this or i've got to like go home and so i just did and i took a cold shower what's your this is related i promise okay but the real quick the reason why aiden is a psycho in that is because aiden has known about this for a while he's known he had the known and then slime pops in the group chases hey uh anyone noticed there's cold water and it's like oh yeah but i like it so i haven't said anything or like

i forgot to say anything i have i i have one counterpoint to this because when you brought this up you said is the hot water still not working at the office shower yes which also implies that you didn't tell anybody that That's correct, because I only started doing this, and I've thought about this as well. I am complicit a little bit in not raising awareness. Yes. But you fucking live here. You fucking live here. Yeah.

And you take a shower every single fucking day. Wow. So I was like, it must be something he has encountered, and he is handling. He likes it. There must be someone who showers here every day that will solve this problem and he was like

oh no no I like it so I just didn't say anything. You've just been ripping cold showers? Yeah for like for like a month. You just like it.

Yeah. And that's crazy to me but that is also a preference thing. That's also hype though. It is kind of hype. I was like damn he

Aiden has this on me because he doesn't care. The deeper funny part of this is that Miles also was showering here and he also likes cold showers so he also did this. Yep. There could be sludge. I've done one. There could be raw hamburger meat coming

out of the fucking shower head. Oh it's fucking cool. It's good meat. It's cold. Nice cold meat. No like it feels good like the meat like it's on your, it feels good like the meat like It's on your shoulders, and you like the meat's like really nice. Smoke a cig in there Yeah, why is everyone into cigarettes now? What happened? It's back dude. It's like the bees. Yeah, Mike was saying it's back You were saying it's back. It's like the bees. They're back. You smoked a cigarette last night Oh, yeah, they're back. Yeah, and then you're gonna run two minutes today. I ran one minute today It was easy.

It's like the Olympic torch is one cigarette. I realized last time when you guys got cigarettes that the gap between choosing to smoke a cigarette was getting too small for me. Because that was going to be like the fourth one of the year and like the third one in like a couple months. And I was like, you know, this is probably not good. And I did not join in. If you're listening right now, call up your girlfriend. Yeah. Say, I would never cheat on you.

Do you want to smoke a pack of cigarettes? Until completion. Until completion. We will smoke a pack of cigarettes together and you can crush them. I'll let you crush the menthol ones. They don't have menthols in California. It's what sucks. They do.

Do we have one? Not, like, legally. Yeah, you gotta go to a gas station and be like, you got the menthols? And they go like, yeah, we got them. And they pull them out. They come, like, under the fucking... And they charge you whatever they want. You need a hookup.

Bro, that's mean. And then me. I think Ryan always has them. I don't know. You're getting unregulated prices, though. I figured Ryan bought them from, like, Kim Borgman. Kim Menthols. Whoa, it's tummy time. Look at Ludwig. Ludwig you look so good. What have you been putting in your body food wise?

To look like that. I put a lot of protein in it. Mmm. I I don't refuse any you don't refuse any protein No protein refuse and I will say and it's you know what it's hellofresh that has kept you looking so tight and so Chad, but you know what? Hey's HelloFresh that has kept you looking so tight and so chad, but you know what? Hey, stop staring. It's really rude. I'm gonna talk at his body without looking at his body. Keep mealtime exciting with over 40 recipes to choose from

because you can, oh, don't rub it. Stop. So you looked. How did you see it? HelloFresh has kept him so hard I can't. From fit and wholesome to pescatarian to veggie, options to swap proteins, they have a meal plan that suits your lifestyle. It's quick and easy.

I like HelloFresh because I'm lazy and I don't want to go to the grocery store, and it solves that for me. That's the big thing I like. You know what it doesn't fix, though? HelloFresh can fix so many things in your life. Oh. It can't fix the gaping, like, conca-

like, the chest cavity I have a fucking tight bod because I keep apple cider cake with caramel sauce because I eat apple cider cake with caramel sauce. Or it also is crafted by the barbecue pulled pork nachos. It's handcrafted by those nachos. That actually sounds fire. I love your pulled pork. 40 weekly recipes, though. So yeah, go to hellbrush.com slash 50 the yard

and use code 50 the yard for 50% off plus free shipping. They sponsor the podcast. We appreciate them. We appreciate Ludwig, even with all of his flaws. Stop. Stop. Even his deep dark flaws. You should call out your friends.

And I bet, viewer, your chest looks normal. You should call out your friends when they're ableists like these two losers. How is it ableist? What does it prevent you from doing? What does it prevent you from doing?

And you should go to hellofresh.com slash 50 the yard and use code 50 the yard. You should do both of those things. America's number one meal kit. Number one meal kit. What does it prevent you from doing? I want to kill yard. You should do both of those things. America's number one meal kit. Number one meal kit. What is it preparing you for?

I want to kill you. What is it preparing you for? America's number one meal kit. Thank you, HelloFresh. What is it preparing you for? I'm going to throw a chopper. Last night we went to like a haunted, we already said this, but we went to like a haunted cabbage patch. What is it?

Haunted hayride. Haunted hayride. Which is like you just sit on a truck and all these people jump out and spook you. And on the way there, me and Mike, who's our our friend we're sitting there and we're like kind of alone with each other for a moment no one can hear us and we're in the back and we're like hey are you low-key kind of scared actually and we're not kidding and he's like i'm not i don't like being scared and i was like i don't either i don't like being jump scared and we were like kind of like we don't want to tell the group we're pussies but like actually this is kind of scary for us

and so the whole time but for real though like low like low key, though, like no cap, I'm a little scared. I'm like, I'm actually a little nervous. And there's like children in line. And I'm like, I'm like rationalizing like, oh, there's kids here. It should be fine then. But there's like adults who are walking out there. Someone literally walked by us and said that was the scariest moment of my life. Oh, and we had someone pointed it out.

And I was like, I don't like being scared. I realized last night that what gets that gets me, I cannot turn it off, is chainsaws. Chainsaws just terrify me. They freak you out? Have you ever handled one? No. They were gasoline chainsaws. They just didn't have the chain on them.

Yeah. Dubbin, let's get chainsaw real lame in here. They're real fun. We'll get you a chainsaw to use for yourself. They're real fun. You chop up a fucking tree leg with a chainsaw, you realize, hey, you know what? This thing's kind of cool. That's a damn tool to use.

And go and buy him a chainsaw. I'll get you a chainsaw, buddy. You want a big chainsaw? Anyway, I conquered my fear. We cut a koi fish in half in my yard. It was not scary even a little bit. It wasn't scary a little bit, but what was funny is Mike afterwards, somebody was like, hey, can I get a picture?

I was like, sure. And then, and then, you know, walked away. Didn't think anything of it. Like an hour and a half later,

we're watching TV and, and Mike's like, yeah, I actually, uh, asked. And it turns out they had a bunch of haunted mazes. Those were scarier.

And we were like, ask who? And he's like, well, actually that guy that said, hi to you found me on Twitter and then followed me. No, there's way more nuance to this that he's skipping. Mike recognized a shit poster.

Yes. In line. Like he was like, that guy tweets. Oh, shit. Like Crime Wave 420 or some shit. Yes, exactly like that. And he was like, I know that guy from shit posting. And Mike was like, hey, are you this guy?

And he was like, yes. Who was it? I don't remember. I forget his account number. I don't remember. shitposting. And Mike was like, hey, are you this guy? And he was like, yes. Who was it? I don't remember. I forget his account number. I don't remember. Something. Wow. And he recognized him.

And then that guy found Mike later because I think I wasn't in this interaction. But apparently he knew he was with Ludwig. Okay. So later he went to Ludwig's following and looked for Mike and then found him. And then was like, hey, nice meeting you. And Mike's like, how the fuck did you find me? Whoa. Because he didn't say his name or anything.

And the guy's like, I just looked through Ludwig's stuff. Being a poster and having street fame is probably the least payout of any kind of fame you could ever have. He probably lives in constant fear that someone will say that to him in public. Imagine you're with your girlfriend's family and someone's like, yo, you're the shit poster. And you've got to explain with like your girlfriend's family and someone's like yo you're the shit poster and you got to explain twitter to like your friend yeah girlfriend's grandma it depends how bad of a shit poster you are i realize i'm in constant fear of strangers finding out i have a podcast really yeah because like when you're in a group of people and they're like hey you know so and so has a podcast and like what's your little podcast about we got big wieners though

that's the difference as someone both are lame someone who has constantly always had a podcast, the difference is that you tell somebody that you got the fucking the biggest one or whatever. Yeah, but you go like, yeah, I have a huge one. It's so lame. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, because you- This is the difference. This is the difference.

Because you tell them how much, if it comes up naturally, you tell them how much it earns and they shut up real quick. Now they start asking big questions. I guess we're different. Cause I don't want to be like, yeah, it makes me a lot of money. No, you're near, but you're not supposed to just bring it up. But I remember I was, I was seeing somebody and I was like, the conversation comes up and you're like, yeah, this is what I do.

I do a podcast. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. And then like two weeks later, she's like, so how like big is your podcast? And I'm like, oh, it's pretty big. Like, and she's like, how, like asking more questions. And then I was like, well oh, it's pretty big. And she's like, asking more questions. And then I was like, well, yeah. And then you went, ban from ban. I was like, well.

Those are the fun questions. I was like, here's the Patreon page. And her jaw fucking dropped. What normies actually do is they go, oh, what's it about? And you go, oh, it's kind of like a comedy show. It's a comedy. Oh, like, hey, can I be on your podcast? I'll make a joke.

And that's fine. And you do all that. And you have to just just be like I'm a scarecrow for you Wow, cuz you're smurfing on them because because they think it's like a fun scarecrow prank, but the scarecrow is just filled with bands I've done this with I mean this same thing happens with streaming right you do YouTube I think most people are like oh you make enough oh you touch slime for a living or like can I look you up and I you know

back in the day that can be like intimidating if I have like 5k subs it's like oh yeah sure you can look it up do you think it sucks that the validation comes from the scale like do you think it would wouldn't it be nicer if people just thought it was cool from the get-go uh yeah i mean i think they're using that as like a quantifier of if it's working or not as opposed to like giving a deep dive into your channel and then determining whether or not you make stuff that's

valuable they're just using a number to be like, Oh yeah, it's working. Everyone cares about success, right? So it's like how successful you are at what you do is instantly more interesting as it scales. As long as it doesn't change your trajectory, but you shouldn't quit just because somebody looks at your weak ass. If the only reason you're doing shit is so a random stranger can be

impressed when you say it, it's like you got to figure something out. It would be the opposite. I say it. It's like, you gotta figure something out. No, it'd be the opposite. I think, wouldn't it? Is like, you're not seeking their validation through the scale or success of your project. You're just doing it because you think it's enjoyable. That's what I'm saying.

It'd be nice if people... I think I just have... Well, yeah, but people think anything is cool, but to show that you're succeeding at it and don't have to get in a car at 9 a.m. every weekday, that is important to people. I think I get the self-ick when I tell people I'm successful. Oh, me too.

That's why I live like a wise man. I refuse to do it. I just want to say, yeah, I do a thing that's working really well. I say that too. What are you doing? I'm extremely humble when it comes to that shit because I don't want to come off like an asshole. We make more than doctors, Duffet.

It's more than doctors, D! No, it's more than doctors dub it. I'm extremely humble. Yeah. Truth to truth, man. Dash is my most humble friend. Dub it. Dub it. Remember when we were humble beasts?

I can go rack for rack with a surgeon and win. Yeah. Isn't it? I'm extremely humble. But you only say that. I never bite first, bro. And neither do we. Wait, are the surgeons biting? Yeah, if they chirp in chat.

The Patreon is full of surgeon DMs. Hold on, hold on. Which surgeons are chirping in chat? I don't know. I don't know, but they might be. In case they are, I'm humble. Every time they're dicks to me, bro, I just have to pull the nuke, and I can no longer pull the nuke after a certain point.

My strategy's been working. Of what? I've had a strategy for like 10 years now, because when I was in high school, I was not athletic at all or strong. I was on the bench for varsity soccer for both years. But you were on the team. I was on the team purely from a morale standpoint. Yeah. Come on, guys! from a morale standpoint. Yeah.

Come on, guys! But I wanted to be big, man. I wanted to be bigger, stronger. So I went to college. And I went to the gym. But then I started rolling with a bunch of people who go to the gym all the fucking time. Who are way bigger than me. Way stronger than me.

So then I joined video game. Video game land. That's not why you did that. I started hanging out with you. Yeah. But the moment I started hanging out with you. Yeah. But the moment I started hanging out with you guys, I was, I went from small fry instantly to your, you like way back in the day, you'd be like, oh, you're big, man. You are big.

You are big. You worked out all the time. But it was just big for this group. You're smurfing. No, you are big. No, but then I, yeah. And then I went to Japan and in Japan we we did a bunch of physical challenges every day. And it's like me, Connor, American Pete, Chris Broad, and Didis.

Yeah, American Pete cannot bench shit. And they're all YouTube streamers. And they can't bench shit. They have a collective age of 300. Connor's ghoulish, emaciated body just can't hold up. His Welsh frame can't do it like you can. They got the chopsticks that help you when they're eating their fish. I can't hold it one welsh frame can't do it like you can chopsticks that help you i can't hold it one week you feed me one wig he's eating beans all the time and then and then i come

in smurfing yeah and i'm like oh yeah let me do this bowling thing i'd lift and i'm i'm barely squeaking by a hundred but in this group because i'm smurfing, I look like a god the whole week. You are top 1% of human beings. If you count population. That's physical strength. You're already top cut population in society. No. Yeah. Maybe not in the people.

Maybe not top 1% of people that go to the gym every day. But out of all people altogether, absolutely. Out of all people in my age group no you don't think so no definitely not oh you know he's he's having a flashback to that that kid on valorant who said post your bench and he fucking that kid was big that kid was big i'm thinking about college where a lot of people spend a lot of time working out and stuff like that and like even then not that high percent of people were like I would say as I mean if I'm looking on the broad spectrum

I'm just getting locked into talking about how fucking yeah, no more This no Dress code yeah, we The straps are too small. Too small straps. Too small straps to strap the other boys in the class. You're only allowed to wear the cutie Cinderella pets t-shirt. That's what I was going to say.

That's a new uniform. That being Aiden accidentally wore. What about his face? Wait, are you wearing the swift ghost one? Yeah. Yo, that's the legendary ghost. Oh, so we're both wearing prototypes? Yeah. Look at the coot's red eyes. Yeah, this one's actually horrifying. I got the coot's red eyes misprint. Yeah, that's the legendary prototypes. Yeah

That's the shadow pet and it has the Swift's like the Steve Harvey meme Yeah, so no more tank tops you're done yeah, I'm taking sure it's I can I'm taking a fanny pack It's on the phone coming in a tank top next week. Oh He's gonna get big cutting the best friend shirt into a tank top. I'm going to bring it. That's cool. Nick, get big for us. The problem is I have to wear big sunglasses. I think about it every day right now.

Getting big? I think about getting big every day. I'm scared of this because last night at Ludwig's house, you grabbed the top of a door frame with the tips of your fingers and did a pull-up. And I was like, you can't be wearing tank tops. I can do five right now. I can do five of them. I hate that

That's too. That's too strong. It's only hands. It's a gimmick. He's got a strong hands. It's Chris Angel Yeah, it's all hands I can do less pull-ups than shake, but I can do three times more on like on edges Yeah, that's like me when uh when I sleep a French guy. It's just only hand we got Stop talking about We got some time. Oh shake no not people in my TTS saying I run a dna chess you did run a dna chess. I also Aiden at chess. You did run Aiden at chess. I also beat Aiden in 10 moves, I think. I think this is the only thing I will never have shame or a sense of failure about.

It's because you're beating up a child. So greasy hot dog on fucking slippy. Yeah, because I've played mainly for 10 years. I have played chess a couple times in the past. I'm calling the greasy hot dog a chess to you then. What would you say if greasy hot dog has a year one grinder? What would he say? If a dude then you are impressive for having only played a year. Greasy hot dog I don't know what to tell you. I don't know maybe maybe I was maybe I was just not in it

But I thought greasy hot dog played really well. Look, Lovik has this weird chess board where all the pieces are like people Like it's like sculptures. Is it Lord of the Rings or some are like people like it's like And I I somebody plays a lot of chess I couldn't know I couldn't tell what the pieces were and so I played with Aiden I'm pretty sure we probably fucked up sometimes, but I watched them play like four times I went over the board. I'm like the pieces are in a legal position. He tried to move his king like a bishop And then we had to like go back and read I think he tried to move his king like a bishop. I think two different times. So much like a bishop. And then I didn't notice. And then we had to go back and redo. Yeah, we had to hit back arrow a couple times to change it.

I've always been a fan of the theory that you should be able to move the king. There should be no illegal moves for the king. Because it's like real life. He's the king. He's the king. And if he gets himself in danger and gets caught for that, then so be it. Then cut his head off. Cut his head off. Yeah, that's what he king. Yeah. And if he gets himself in danger and gets caught for that, then so be it. Then cut his head off. Cut his head off.

Yeah. That's what he deserves. Exactly. Chop him in half like a koi fish with a chainsaw. Why do that to koi fish? Because you can do whatever the fuck you want. Well, it's your own koi fish that you grew. It's your own koi fish.

If it's your own koi fish, you can cut it in half with a chainsaw. It just feels like you shouldn't. But you could. If you raise it. Could you do it? You raise it. It's yours. That's actually a good question.

If you raise like an endangered animal, like a That's actually a good question. If you raise an endangered animal, like a hippo, or like a gibbon, and then you cut it in half with a chainsaw, this is... Like panda! We'll answer for a second. He's not done!

Listen, you find a baby panda. How do you own a panda? Fuck, you don't. I found this out yesterday. Do you own a panda? Fuck. You don't. You just do. I found this out yesterday. Do you know what panda diplomacy is? No. Dude, all pandas are on loan from China.

Oh, I do know this. And no zoo owns panda. Yeah. Yeah. So you can only rent them. And apparently because tensions are high right now, the Chinese government is taking all the pandas back. They're taking the pandas back.

Not me, bro. I get a panda, I put a fucking switch on it. Extendo clip. It's mine. Panda with the switch. Yeah, panda with the switch. Bro, so if I got a baby panda on loan, if I am Slime Zoo Corp America and I finagle a panda

from China and I say, this is for my zoo. I send a bunch of fake pictures and they mail me a panda right to my to where i live and it says five hundred thousand dollars to care for annually yeah i could run that and then it's mine now if i cut that panda's head off with the chainsaw right right i think twofold one you're an enemy of the chinese state that's what i'm saying that's which is really bad which is that's really bad and then also you're an enemy of the chinese state that's what i'm saying that's which is really bad which is that's really bad and then also you're probably getting hit with like an animal cruelty charge yeah obviously yeah which is mostly the former but can we can we chime in for a second

aiden i don't think you considered it being his own damn backyard well no but that's different because i bought it because i'm leasing it from china if you had the panda and nine dogs the dogs would take care of the panda they'd rip apart panda and nine dogs, the dogs would take care of it? The dogs would take care of the panda. They'd rip apart that panda for sure. No, no, no, no. The dogs would take care of the panda. The panda would be their friend.

The panda would be their king. No, the panda would not be their king. They would respect the dogs. The dogs would respect the panda. For what? The panda would manage the dogs. The panda's the bottom bitch? No, no.

It's the commander. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's high status. The panda's the commander oh wow yeah that's high status the panda's the madame what are you then uh i'm the i i'm just the landowner i just let them do it right prevent giant pandas from thriving in the wild look at that pandas and dogs don't get along so i'm just trying to think of the thought experiment here it's bad it's it's kind of like um we were talking me and miles were talking where it's bad it's it's kind of like um we were talking me and miles were talking where it's like xi jinping's daughter i think goes to harvard like and but that's like probably the most important person one of the most like protected

human beings like she's not going to frat parties right no probably not probably not like i can't imagine like imagine you and xi jin Jinping's daughter hit it off in like, bio 101. I feel like she could be. Maybe she, well, no, no, you go, she could go to frat parties because it's like, dude, nobody is ever gonna fuck with you. That's what I'm saying. Nobody ever. They're

rolling like 13 deep security detail, like when she's getting Starbucks in the morning. Or she's like the Hunter Biden of China and she's ripping 173 down the freeway coked up You have the difference is that that Xi Jinping cares what are the and by the never did she? buy them buy even never cared Arrest her yeah, that's good. That's that wouldn't go down That wouldn't go down well She could kill a person

Broad daylight like real shit This is the plot of A movie No Princess Protection Program DCOM This is close to the plot of that movie Which is like the Metal Gear of DCOM

I think it was Actually Rush Hour I was thinking of. Yeah. Jun Tao. Deals her. I remember. Hello to you too.

I did kind of wonder this. This girl I used to date was in classes with Malia Obama at Harvard. Really? Oh, the weed-smoking criminal. And I was like, why? Does Malia have people follow her around everywhere? I was percent. What was the answer? Well, I don't know I didn't get to ask Yeah, she didn't know like there's a detail like I didn't want to press

I don't want to be like we're only on this date because I think it's cool. You're certainly Yes, it's gotta be ready. Well, I feel like there's secret detail. Like, but they, like, are probably chill about it. Looks like a student. Yeah. It's just like a giant jack security guard who's like, hey, where's a- It's just- Do you have a GI-84 I could use? You guys are basically making the plot for like 23 Jump Street. Yes.

Pretty much, yeah. Hey, where's the quad? And he's just got like a fucking- And he's built like Baki. And he's just fucking huge. 23 Dump Street? It's my bathroom. I don't know.

We're probably gonna have to go back and do it again. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Like a fucking he's built like Bucky. He's just fucking huge 23 dump Street. It's my bathroom Pretty pretty even the show Right I

hung on to this because I wanted to give you the Opportunity to publicly shame me because it might be oh, that's new you're in a fucking kinks now. What we yeah, I like it I like this hate when we show you I You're into fucking kinks now? Yeah, I like it. I like this now. You're supposed to hate when we make fun of you. And I told you in the premium episode last week that I messaged Nadeshot to see if we could play together.

Right, yep, yep. So Nadeshot has been playing a lot of Valorant on stream. And I like, you know, I like tuning in to see Nadesgrind, where he's at. And I was watching for a bit, and I typed up a message in his chat that was like, yo, by the way, I don't know if you saw my DM,

no pressure, but if you want to play some time, this is beast. Dude, I dropped this DM in the chat. But keep in mind, he follows me, so I feel like it's not out of this world to do it. But it's still a little cringe. No, it's not. It's still a little cringe.

It's a Twitch chat. You didn't let me finish. I dropped the message. He doesn't read it. He. No, it's not. It's still a little cringe. It's a Twitch chat. It is. You didn't let me finish. I dropped the message. He doesn't read it. He doesn't read it out loud or respond in any way. I'm pretty sure he saw it and doesn't say anything. How many viewers do you have? And then his mods and his chat, he's like 2,500 viewers. They turn it into a copy pasta.

No way. And everybody starts spamming it and makes fun of me. Bro, no way. Dude, yeah, I got publicly shamed in Nadeshot's chat. You know what, Aiden? That might be the best news I've received all year. Dude, that is crazy. It's crazy because you're so earnest. I know.

And he follows you! I thought it would be fun to play with him. Is he live right now? I don't know, man. Oh, you wanna swing in? No! Big dick dubbing? I don't want dad to swing in.

Hey, yo, Nade. Don't! Yo, Nade. Hey, shut up. All this doesn't want dad to swoop in. Hey, yo, Nade. Don't! Yo, Nade, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Hey, Nade, yo, first of all, let's hit the fucking green sometime. I mean, like, what? Back nine, front nine, whatever you want. Back nine, front nine, what do I do?

Part two, I got my buddy, my little brother Aiden. He's a fucking huge fan. If you could just play, like, one game of, like, it's like a Make-A-Wish. Think about it like that. He's balding. He's not a Make-A-Wish. He's balding and he's in the hospital. If you could play one game of hour with him, it would make his fucking...

I don't want you to go in and fucking pull the my son wants to play with you card. I was going to do that to you, but he's not allowed. Just tweet at him. He'll see it. Nah, I don't want to tweet it. He doesn't like using Twitter.

Yo, they love juvie full of kidney stones. Whole fucking office loves it. Dude, and then I also said, thanks for all the juvie. Dude, this is... Because that's nice. We like the juvie. This is like Christmas. Do thanks for all the juvie Dude this is Cause that's nice we like the juvie This is like Christmas Christmas has been delivered to me

I heard through the grapevine that the kidney stone thing Got to him They went up the ladder and he was like Should we be worried about this And like the Julian Adrian Told me he was like Yeah I had to convince him it was Jill.

Yeah, Adrian. We're lucky that guy likes us. Adrian is a good friend because he, against all odds, has continued supplying us with the product we like as we have somewhat publicly shaped it. It wouldn't. Look, it wouldn't hurt Nate to tune into the fucking yard every now and then. It's got lovely gone. It got koi fish.

Yeah, I got pine cone sized kidney stones. He's busy on a gaming journey that I could help him on. I don't think you could help him. You don't think so? We're like the same rank. He wants to get to Radiant. Isn't he immortal? Oh, well, I'll get him to Radiant.

Isn't he immortal? No, he's Ascendant 2 right now. He hit immortal, but he dropped. He's like Ascendant 1 or Ascendant 2 right now. My kidney stone look like one of them pine thingies you put in your car. Yep, yeah. Look like the black ice scented tree. Except it's 3D.

Then it come out. It come out looking all like, yeah. All fucked up. Smelling good, though. You guys want to play the new COD together? I heard it's pretty nice. They got all the Maw of Maw for two maps in it. I heard it's cool. You're all fucked up. Smelling good, though. You guys want to play the new COD together? I heard it's pretty nice. They got all the Maw of Maw for two maps in it. I heard it's cool.

You want to play on high rise? I'm down. Let's do it. Let's run it. It's controller central, though. Yeah, 100%. So it's the COD we used to play. Yeah, but I was never good at that.

I'm a mouse and key bitch. Didn't play that. Yeah, but then it's like auto-aim. Then I'll be coping all day. You know what? I will play my pre-Staim and then I'll be coping all day. You know what? I will play my priest on WoW Classic. I'll just do that instead.

Why are you even playing WoW? Because I never played Alliance and I want to see the game. What do you mean? Sinford just said yeah. Alliance is like the other faction because you either play Alliance or Horde. That's correct. So my knowledge,

I never got to play World of Warcraft. I wanted to because everybody did who was cool in my school. You might as well, man. You're on the fucking bench in soccer. I would play World of Warcraft if the four of us did it together. That's my condition.

Back in the day, I used to play RuneScape. Yeah. I got shamed into playing it too because I was at a lunch table. They were like, oh, you play RuneScape? I was like, yeah,

because I wanted to fit in. They're like, what level are you? And I was like, two. And they were like, oh, you actually can't be level two you start at level fucking five or whatever you're like addison from my elementary school we said we had spider-man 2 on the gamecube and i went to his memory cars and memory card didn't have it on it yeah so i lied i faked the funk they laughed at me so then i was like all right i gotta play runescape so i started booting up free to play got to like level 80 but then everyone was like oh we're playing wow now and i was like you guys just convinced me to play RuneScape. So I started booting up, free to play, got to like level 80. But then everyone was like, oh, we're playing WoW now.

And I was like, you guys just convinced me to play RuneScape. And so then I'm like, mom, can I get a WoW membership? And she's like, no. We don't pay for video games. It was a lot at the time too. It was like 20 bucks a month.

No, it was still the same. It was 15, I think. It was just prohibitive. It was like 15. But it was prohibitive for a kid to continue to do every month. I was 15 and I know that because one time

I was in the bathroom and then Jake and Patrick came into the bathroom and they were talking about WoW and I was like we had a dog shit PC that could not play

any video games so I could never play WoW and instead I played Club Penguin yeah well Club Penguin is the WoW

of the proletariat yeah working class and town kinda i got bullied so hard at school for having a playstation because i rolled up to school and back then cod would release all the nazi zombies maps for xbox first so all the kids at school were like oh you're still playing on the nocturne totem we're on the new map already bro pussy and you gotta underscore in your gamer tag no spaces on that console Oh my god. It's funny how that shit change. Yeah, I had to buy an Xbox not get bullied now

It's come full circle where I just got bullied Jake was a wow grinder Jake was a while wow grinder. And he made fun of me. We became best friends. But I asked my, I begged my mom. She's like, no. And I was like,

all right, bet. Yeah. I just lost. What did you didn't have a fucking ass job? No, I was fucking 14. Oh,

I had one. One's 15. I watched dishes in a deli. So to be clear, I'm not your age, right? I'm a year younger. So you,

did you get one at 15? I got, I did. I did. I did. I did. What younger so did you get one at 15 no I did what was your job I worked at Monument Square Market doing what making subs

making subs oh that's right I worked at out of the park pizza pizza man I worked at Dairy Queen and it wasn't legal yet

at 15 at 16 I was 16 see we are child laborers 16 is legal I think no I was I was not legal yet I was 15 you know, we are child laborers. 16's legal, I think. No, I was not legal yet. I was 15.

You know I'd never had a job, or never not had a job, except senior year. I took a year off of college. You've had not. That was the only time. I've never not had a job, except for when I did.

Except for one time. I've never died in Minecraft, except I died once. He's extremely humble. I'm extremely humble, bro. So you're playing WoW now? Yeah, it's fun. Isn't that just like, doesn't it feel like, does it feel good?

Yeah, it does. Okay. I don't know. I just was like, yeah, I'll play that shit. There's no fucking, I'm not playing hardcore. There's no crazy shit. What about? I'm just casually playing the game.

Not thinking about anything. Yes, Aiden. Aiden, you have a question? Hello. Raise your hand. I would like, Aiden. Aiden, you have a question? Hello. Raise your hand. I would like... When are you going to stream Valorant again? I liked when you did that.

You liked that? I liked that. I don't know. Dead era. I think that... They don't play their old songs anymore. Get over it. I think the game isn't fun, but I also haven't booted it up.

He plays chess now. I play chess now. I run you. Streaming chess matches. I run you. I play a more fun, less streamable game. You can't brag about running me in chess. I play chess now. I run you. Stringer chess matches. I run you. You play a more fun, less stringerable game. You can't brag about running me in chess. I am doing it.

He does. I do. That's fine. I run you. So you can brag about it. Guy who plays chess beats guy who doesn't play chess. I run you. Guy who runs guy.

Guy who gets run by guy. And it's obvious you don't play when he's running you. It is. I don't even know what's going on. He dances around you. It's like weird because your opponent kind of makes you feel that way. I'm like, the whole time I'm sitting there, I'm like, I think this is developing. I checkmated know what's going on. Yeah, it's like weird cuz your opponent kind of makes you feel like the whole time I'm sitting there. I'm like, I think this is developing. I checkmated him all fuck. It was so high

You got check made about yeah That's how games Bruh owns you You're cool you look good. I wish I could get back into MMOs. I played Dofus so much back in the day What is Dofus? I'm not know- fuck you dude. Yo we could play PokeMMO again. I thought it was a- Why don't we get into Eve Online? It's not like a Deez Nuts. Let's get into Eve Online guys. Do you play Dofus? Big SRAM guy! What does that mean? You're just making it worse. Yeah I was in OSA. I was in OSA. Yeah come on. Guilty as charged. This is fun not knowing. Guilty as charged. It sounds like a different language. Yeah I don't know what they're talking about. Of course come on baby come on. Guilty as charged. This is fun not knowing. It sounds like a different language. Yeah, I don't know what they're talking about. Of course. Come on, man.

Come on. It was a French MMO. Super popular in France. Had like a cult following in the States. Really good game for free to play users because it had like a lot you could get to and get done. Delfa D's. And my mom would never pay.

My mom would never pay a membership for me. So that's what I had to do. That was like a tibia. Just like a free to play shit MMO. It was not was not shit it was really good it was really good and well animated fucking shit ass shovelware piece of shit it was a shit i played the fuck out of it i played it until i was like a level 127 you get to like level 200 max like dirty ass like butthole i stopped playing because one day i woke up when i was playing the MMO which gave me like my highest joy every every day And I was like I need to grind stats in real life

Yeah, that's how old were you when you were playing this? I was probably like 18 like summer going into college. Okay I was reflecting on this because of the all the WoW chatter and I think the only MMO I actually ever played was pirates online which was an MMO based on Pirates of the Caribbean Really? Yeah, it was Jack Sparrow in it. Yeah. Yeah, you couldn't be him, but he was like an NPC in the game Oh, this is dofus. Oh my god. The ass is fat. Wait, you have it? What is this? Oh, is this kind of like MapleStory-esque? Is this- is this- oh, it's a video. Is this kind of like MapleStory-esque?

Or... It's... I don't know how to describe it. It's a turn-based... It's isometric. For visual learners, it's isometric. It's isometric and look like... It looks like Baby's first Diablo. This shit looked like Fire Emblem.

Uh, this shit was gas. Anyway, IOPS were overpowered. Um... But, speaking of pirate Uh, this shit was gas. Anyway, IOPS were overpowered. Um, but... I'm sending you something different. Speaking of pirate game, I had to voice a character for a game. No. I was offered a character in a video game. I don't think I can say which game yet.

Are you Vincent Valentine in Final Fantasy VII Remake? Well, I get to make my own character. And the character could have been Ludwig. Are you Peach in Mario because you're a girl? I decided to make my character my character from our D&D sesh. Oh, really? That was my idea. Right? I was like, oh, that'd be cool. You know, because it involves some

seafaring pirate stuff and my character is somewhat associated with that. Somewhat, yeah. Alright? His name's Stonebeard. That's a leak. I feel comfortable leaking it. I leaked it last week. I call him Stonebread. Stonebeard! So I decided to make my character Stone Beard, but I didn't realize I had to do like all the VO for it.

Okay. I didn't realize the game had like a bunch of VO. And so last night after hanging out. You should pitch him as Japanese. And you could be. Oh, you could do a fun accent. Yeah, you could do a fun accent because you're so good at that. Yeah. But it's an American. It's American. It's English, but with a fun Asian

accent. we're not recording you can show me an example nick uh i gotta think about the one you do off the podcast i'm not good at it you should do it uh so i i didn't do a japanese accent i wanted to do stone beard accent yeah but i didn't realize i did it after we hung out so i was drunk i was off like a cigarette and my vape it's midnight and i'm cranking through these lines there's 200 of them wow and it covers like every possible dialogue option two times and i i like i gave myself a bit of a of a of a guttural growl so i was going through them and i was doing fine but then you reach these lines and there's cannons involved in the game and the lines are just it's just penetration

you've penetrated you've been penetrated that's so good nice penetration and it took me an hour to get through that it's like all it's like the muskash song where all of the uh sampled sounds and the beat are the sexual sounds from sonic so it's like amy when she's low HP and she's like, huh. And then Sonic's like, I'm coming. Please suck me, baby. Suck me. But I couldn't get through him in my normal voice. My normal voice was like, it was like, attention.

It was like, I'm basically trying to be Brimstone. You're Sarge. But that was when I made Stonebeard. But then when I did Penetration, I tried to do it as well that was what I made stone beard, but then when I did penetration I try to do it as your old man Very nice penetrate is this for like some shit shovelware game. It's pretty popular. Okay. That's like a real the real deal It's like a bigger game. It's not like start with the ray and end with the It's not ray Edge-ing.

You guys unlocked a memory. I sent Zipper a video. When I was younger, I couldn't figure out how to get regular PC games to work. I never figured out how to play Counter-Strike. I never figured out how to play Halo. So I always just went to console because I just couldn't figure out PC games. Because you had a Mac, right? Yeah.

I thought I could. I didn't get that yet. I was pretty young. I didn't get that you could was pretty young I didn't get that you could like not just play games on any computer and so I found a game finally that worked on my Mac

and it was called Armageddon Advance and I played this game that's beast Zipper used to play this game I used to play this game I played it for

probably two years this is not it this is a video someone made about it I guess I haven't watched this let's skip forward I played this game

for two years and it's Tron in 3D. Okay. And you have a name over your head? This looks cool. I was FUCKED at this game. I was so good at this game. And it was just- this guy's name is Deez Nuts. Yeah, this is just Tron. It's crazy you're good at this game, but you're bad at Astro Bears. Bro, I- Run it, bro. That was crazy. Did you guys play

last night? No. No, we were talking about Dead Bears, and I thought about Astro Bears last night. We had a conversation about Dead Bears last night. Oh, yeah, I remember that I Just remembered this and I wonder if anyone out there played this with him this guy's tight line. He's pretty dope this guy's nasty Insane movement this is uh it's also in GTA. Oh look how nice he is okay. He's better than me for me It's in trits Tron. It's I know but if they have it in GTA people aren't playing Tron No, I know, but it sounded like you were like this is like it's in GTA. It's likeon. I know, but they have it in GTA. People aren't playing Tron. No, I know, but it sounded like you were like, this is like, it's in GTA.

It's like, okay, yeah. It's like one of the GTA 5 games. Yeah, Balloon Fight. One of the more popular ones. What? This guy's nasty. Okay, I'm not as good as this guy. Armageddon Advanced is such a...

It looks like you quit. It's like a Tron version of Snake, I guess. No, it's just Tron. No, it's just Tron. No, it's just Tron. Is this what happens in Tron? That's just what Tron is, yeah. Zoomer discovers Tron. New Bios Zoomer discovers Tron.

I've only watched the shitty Tron movie that I kind of mind up. It's like the NBA Street version of basketball. You guys should watch the old Tron movie. You do acid. You like drugs? You should fucking drop acid and watch the old Tron. Bro, it's fucked up. It's like a crazy movie when you're normal.

Okay. I'm saying. It's a beautiful film. Okay. Yeah. I think you would have a really nice time and you wouldn't get scared. You should also watch One Piece. All right, I'll do it.

I'll do it. I'll watch your One Piece. Whoa, two weeks? Two weeks. I'm off of all jobs at both your company It's 16 hours a day. I can't do my job buddy. He's asleep and watch one. We gotta get the world Yeah, okay, so does your back get fulfilled if one piece is on in the background while I work now then I can't do it buddy

Can't either yeah, yeah, you need a didn't work. I couldn't do that. I think he does about four hours a day. Yeah. Or eight hours a day. No, it's eight hours left in the day. 16 hours a day. That's what I'm saying. You gotta just manage your time better. You gotta just manage your time to watch One Piece for the next...

Bro, you'd be so fucked. This movie looks so bad. Your mind would be so... I think part of the reason why I'm so apprehensive is I have watched like between 80 and 90 episodes of One Piece already And I didn't like it. Oh wow. That is a big part of why I don't want to do it Oh jeez man. God this game is cool. I don't know if this is the movie or the game Yeah, this is the movie. This is the movie. This is what the movie looks like? No like this is just a part of it This is the- 82? Okay, this was life-changing. Yeah, that saying this is the cringe part i thought it was 90s i thought it was 90s no it's like some old ass shit wasn't it

like the first fucking it was the first movie to use some type of technology it was the first movie to have uh jeff bridges in it that was groundbreaking for the industry damn and then other directors realized they could also have jeffges in it. Yeah, you couldn't have him in your movie. Because he was just a human. Why didn't we think of that? Jeff Bridges. That's me being a director in the 80s. Go ahead, apologize to Ludwig.

I'm sorry, Ludwig. What are you sorry for? I'm sorry that I thought you felled off and that you sunsetted. Because when we sold the merch this week, it went crazy, bro. They love you We haven't sold your specific merch for you in such a long time. I was fearful I was fearful that it wouldn't sell I had Cuz I wasn't sure if the guy told him to increase the units the goats still a month ago. Because the units were so small. And then everyone chirps at me.

He says no. I did this. I did this. Is this like when you fucked Hugo? I was there for this. He said not to make him more. I remember. I did this.

Is this a joke? No. No, I was there. I remember. I was there. I said to increase units. I do remember this. No, you weren't there.

No. No, he said it multiple times. Oh, then he said it multiple times. I've done this. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yeah, no, he said it multiple times Do you not remember when you sat on the couch and we went over prices and units for the order of the merch and We locked in the PO and you said you were confident we could sell this much and decided that was the amount we were gonna order What about that? I said you asked me it's a month ago. That's after the point in time. We can make the order

I said three months to arrive Ludwig you're being And if you asked me to up the units a month ago, that's after the point in time we can make the order anymore. Because it takes three months to arrive, Ludwig. You're being cringe. I don't know exactly how long ago. They come on a big boat to the Port of Long Beach. Nick remembers. Port of Long Beach. Port of Long Beach.

Because we met about it three or four months ago. It could have been three months ago. The time is wrong. We made the order and discussed the prices for the order. I don't know exactly how long. Here's the thing. Nick was there for the conversation. I said to increase the order amount.

Aiden was like, are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? And I was like, I don't know what to tell you. I'm confident I can sell at this amount. Hold on. Hold on. If we're talking about the conversation we had four months ago, you're correct.

And we did up the units then. We had that conversation. I could have upped it even more. But you didn't. You didn't. You're the one who was chirping at me. I'm trying to have a conversation with you back then. I'm like, let's increase it, you're like, alright, we have to sell it out, like are you sure? You ever see a white boy beatbox?

So I'm switching the subject. So you thought that you, so you're cringe, you're cringe. He thought I was sunsetting. He thought he was sunsetting. Yeah. I just get scared. You realize the goat still has fucking, he still has hands. I get scared. And now I gotta deal with fucking 1,000 people asking how to get a jacket. Why don't we- When's the jacket getting restocked? We'll ask Aiden.

I, wait. We can work this out. Baby, baby, we can work this out. Baby, I got more room for you. We got, we can do it together. Baby, you're acting crazy all the time. You know I love you. We'll talk about it after.

Do you think you could be 60 and still be fucking dropping merch? Huh? Yeah. I would drop 60-year-old merch. 60-year-old tweed coats and shit. 60-year-old merch yeah old tweed fucking tweed the mogul moves stairway assistant that takes you to the second story still cut the logo that Nick made yeah but days go way harder oh yeah that's huge it could be. It's a bidet, kind of like colonoscopy, like double. Yeah, it's like a bidet sweater.

What? A sweater that washes your ass. Write this down, Ludwig. Okay. Okay, write it down. No, sure. How would it get down there? Adult diapers that clean your ass.

There's a pipe that goes from the adult diaper into your asshole. And it takes all the poop, I't know oh man oh this is good we're fucking we're having fun just a little fun in the office we'll jot it down you jot that down jot that down you better tell i keep forgetting everything i'm about to say i swear i have hot fucking hot fire nasty fire in my head and it just goes away is it about how you're humble huh is it about how you're humble no Huh? Is it about how you're humble? No, it's not how I'm humble. But also how you could go

band for band with a doctor? Look, I think about it all the time. It's unrelated, but one day we're all going to move to new countries and we're not going to be friends anymore.

No, we're not. The podcast will be over. This is a fucking stupid thing to say. This is going to happen one day. No, it's fucking not. I have something I want to tell you guys. Oh, I guess I'm done.

I guess I was done. Sorry, sorry. It sounded like you were filling. Did that not sound like he was filling? No, it didn't. It sounded like he had a thought. But I stopped the thought. Yeah, about our friendship ending.

And you said, shut up. I have a thing now. I'm not about to hear what you're about to say. No, go ahead and tell us about fucking your ever whatever. At the office, we have gates that keep people from getting in. And I ordered food to the office late on friday night and usually i open the gate for the person to deliver the food this person that was delivering food that night he arrives and he's just sitting outside for a long period

of time even though that the gate had like come open for him and i and it's going on i don't know what's happening step outside to go meet this dude he's russian does not speak any english i'm dropping does to try and like communicate but he's like insinuating that like something went into the gate already but he can't explain to me like where it is or what's happened and we we cannot communicate like anything to each other it takes like five minutes to work out then maybe i should go back inside and i think that maybe he's put the food somewhere where i can't see it like in our parking lot and i come around and uh at this point he's been here for like maybe 15 20 minutes in. And he sends me a message on the Uber app

that is translated. So it's all in Russian. And then I translate the message and it says something about the front gate because we have another one. And I'm like, that's weird. Like, how would he have even gotten in there? Like, that's weird.

And I come around, I unlock the front door, which we like generally don't use. And I come out and there is a child in the front parking lot. And you know, the layout of our, our lots is locked in there. His kid was locked in our front parking lot with the food for like 20 minutes. That's our kid now. Because he came in the front gate and it closed on him. Whoa.

And I was just like, and the kid also cannot speak English very well. Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm so sorry. And he thinks you're his dad now. And I took the kid in and I raised him. And now we have a kid. He's in that shed behind us. And that was the Russian child.

We could have cut his head off with a chainsaw. But I was like, the dad was being so, so earnest and like trying to explain. I just thought it was food the whole time. He's trying to get his kid out of the front parking lot. If you guys tune into our bonus episodes, the kid will now be just in the shed. We'll lower him down from a rope. Were you ignoring the guy's DMs because you're like, oh, it's food. It doesn't matter.

No, no. He wasn't DMing me. That was the weird part. So I'm like, oh, it's food. It doesn't matter. No, no. He wasn't DMing me. That was the weird part. So I'm like, why are you just sitting outside? What's what's going on? Calm down. Figure this all out. Takes like 30 minutes.

Realize he's just worried about his kid that he cannot find and is locked inside our property. Did his kid have the food? His kid had the food, too. So he sent him like a hunter pet in World of Warcraft. He sent him and he said, go. And the kid ran up with your fucking poke. He shouldn't be doing that. Why not?

Because you shouldn't be casting him out. David Beckham's father trained him to be one of the greatest football players. Why can't this guy's, you know, train his kid to be one of the greatest. Takumi got trained by not spilling the water in the sushi on the downhill. Right, so he's getting trained to be one of the greatest delivery men of all time. But I think that... Get in reps, baby. Yeah, that's actually a good point.

Should he not be the greatest? I hope he can become the greatest for Mother Russia. He'll deliver from anywhere to anyone. Privyet. Privyet. Da.

Da. I told you about my Uber driver. That'd be your dream, right? Is the Russian woman? Oh, yeah, you did. Did I tell you about my Uber driver. That'd be your dream, right? It was the Russian woman. Oh, yeah, you did. Did I tell you on the pod? I don't think so. I had Aiden's dream Uber driver.

It was this Russian woman who barely spoke any English. And I was just talking to her throughout the whole ride. And I was getting her backstory. And she had moved here a few years ago. And she was telling me all about Russia. And exclusively talking about how to immigrate to countries and how to get like a visa in a certain country the meta she was basically talking about the meta i was like oh wow this is perfect for aiden and then she wrapped it up with and she's like yes i guess it is it is marriage i must find and wed the american man i'm God, I have one that's so perfect for you

but he's taken. Wow. He would have been so perfect. That would have been fun. She was breathtaking. That's what I told her. I said he made a vow last week that he would never cheat from last week. I actually got out of an Uber today and I made a realization. After getting out of that Uber,

I will never cheat on him. After that Uber ride, I decided. Yeah. I decided when I was out of that Uber, I will never cheat on you. After that Uber ride, I decided. Yeah, I decided when I was out of it. When the Uber. When I left the car. Get your shit clapped in an Uber. And then you say, you know what? That was wrong.

I'm sorry. But she'll never know. You ever pipe in a moving car? A moving car? A moving car? A moving car? No, just your stationary car. I know you have piped in my stationary car, which I still own. And I think about it sometimes.

You think about him piping sometimes? That's why we had to blow your car up. To get his nut out of it. Just like a cut from him telling that story to blowing up. Did I ever? Did I ever tell you guys? I probably brought this up, but my, my dad legally married a Russian immigrant for 10 grand.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. And they never divorced, right? I don't think so. I think he died a married man. Wow.

Did, when's the last time you like, he ever heard from her? I don't fucking know. Is it like. You can ask him. I don't know. I know, but is it like he totally did? They still play WoW. Was it like a story he just said?

Or did you ever like... No, I know her. Her name was Galena. Galena, if you're out there, come on the pod. She was old as fuck, bro. She's probably dead too. Galena, if you're out there, I hope you're doing well. I hope you're doing well.

If we can send you assorted cheeses or something, let us know. In cool America-dess. That's it, baby? That's it, baby. He was Russian. That's it. I'm going baby he was Russian that's it I'm gonna get really strong like Ludwig

what happened do you wanna get strong now just because yeah alright I was just like well how cool would that be what took you so long

you were too cool for it now you're fucking about it I was never too cool for it I feel like that was it I do feel like it was it what everyone thinks that everyone thinks you're too cool

to binge when you don't do shit like that you think we think you're too cool to hang off the wall that was it. I do feel like it was it. What? Everyone thinks that. Everyone thinks you're too cool to binge. When you don't do shit like that, we think you're too cool to hang off the wall. What was it? Your friends don't like you and go back. What was it? What's the motivation? It's hard to motivate yourself to work out.

Motivation's not good. You shouldn't use motivation. I like gamifying things. I can't gamify working out. You can. There's numbers. They go up. It's not the same thing.

Rockwall differed. Rockwall better. Rockwall better? Better game. Better game. You can. There's numbers. They go up. It's not the same thing. Rockwall differ. Rockwall better. Rockwall better? Better game. Better game. Rockwall is a better game. It's a better game. Yeah.

Anyways, if you want to see me continue to feel this way, go to the Patreon episode where I'll put up my bench numbers and they'll laugh at me. No, no. In the bonus, you'll actually be fucking as big as Ludwig. It'll be movie magic. Okay, Archie, work on that. And goodbye, everyone. Bye.