The Yard - Ep. 12 - Minecraft ends our friendship

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

Ludwig, the minecraft criminal, betrays the trust of his friends once again. This time, inside the virtual slaughterhouse that is Minecraft. The boys discuss Aiden's sinister videogame behaviors, Ludwig hangs out with Shroud, and Nick tells the tale of the fish girl.

Welcome. Oh, look at you. What happened? You're literally in a... Hey, I'm smoking that shit that made Ted talk. Do you want to get... You like that? Hey, wrap up the podcast right here. We did it, Ted. I'll go home.

That's it? Okay. Woo! That's season one. You've never said anything that funny. That's not true. That's not true. Hey, go on.

I got a good one. Okay. Smoke that shit that made the king jump. I hated that one. Wow. Yeah, I liked that one. I got to do the thing. Well, if you hated that one, it's...

I stole it from Slime. Your chat liked it. Oh, that like that one. I got to do the thing. Well, if you hated that one, it's stole it from slime. Your chat liked it. Oh, that was one of yours? Yeah. Well, I texted it to him. That's not your best. No, I texted it to him. I liked it.

That changes it? Yo, welcome back to the yard, everybody. How's it going? Been a minute. Happy to be back. I guess it's been the same amount of time. It's been the same amount of time that there's been between every episode. I will say, what I said before this recording was it feels like we have not recorded in two weeks.

You know what? I haven't talked to you guys in two weeks. It's been a smaller amount of time because we recorded on Tuesday. We recorded late. That's right. Honestly, Aiden changed, and I have to tell you guys about it. But I have to tell you first that this pod brought to you by Coinbase once again. That's the sound of a Patreon subscriber getting their bonus episode that's

the sound of a tier three it sounds like that's the sound everyone makes when that's every shillian air and do you want to come well join our patreon guaranteed nutting and we'll make you come i just see nick bait tweeting every week make the patrons come to be clear we don't no no well we won't also not make them come a lot of them are underage no no no what i'm saying is we won't make the patrons come, to be clear. We don't. No, no, no. Well, we won't also not make them come. A lot of them are underage. No, no, no. What I'm saying is. We won't make them come.

Your joining the Patreon does not influence in any way you coming or not. However, if you are above the age of 18, I cannot confirm nor deny. Let me cut you guys off here real quick because I recently did a pretty big stream segment called Day in the Life of a Ludwig Viewer. Okay. Wait, what's his name? Lucas, I think. Lucas, you're cool.

I literally made you. Lemon. Lemon? I had people do that concept where they would just do a video of their lives and how I'm incorporated into it. Mostly to just see that the people that watch me are real. I'm not in a simulation. Sure, yeah. Well, you don't know that, but yeah.

And multiple people during this brought up that they watched The Yard. Nice. The Yard? They tried to show it to their girlfriend or fiance or wife, and it didn't bode well. Really? It didn't really brew well in the car. What?

Yeah. I've heard comments like, boys club. Too much cum. Oh. Not enough shit. Eamon was nice, but quiet. Hold on. Back up.

What's up? There was too much cum. Eamon was nice, but quiet. But there wasn't enough shit. Yeah. They wanted more shit. No, no, no. I get this.

I have a hard time believing. No. More shit. Not enough shit. Because everyone shit. More shit because everyone shits. Maybe they mean in the loose context of stuff

or things. It's because both boys and girls shit and then girls... Don't spread propaganda. Girls do come. You know that. Not if they're hooking up with a yard viewer. Not a single one I've met has.

Ben Shapiro would say, no, they don't. Not if I have anything to do about it. You know what I mean? Girls don't poop is my Minecraft town name. Boys Club. This is what they're talking about right now. Anyway, so if you're watching this and you happen to be with your girlfriend or wife, or if they're not around, how about you bring them in for an ep?

You know what? We'll make this one a classy one. You know what you could do? You know what could get your your girlfriend or wife to do? Subscribe they could subscribe on the you have over the YouTube channel because we you know we've never subscribed We've never done that no we've chilled it like once no. I don't think it's smashed We're almost at 100k we're like 98 are you guys out at 100k i like saying you guys yeah what the fuck well so all successes i'll say we but anytime we're short or something i'll say you right that's okay that's smart a lot of people guess a lot of people

they dm me yeah we'll just get that out of the way dude can i actually say this so i've been plugging this uh dm aiden joke for like 10 weeks in a row time Yeah, I looked at his DMS. I didn't realize he gets more than I do Yeah, yeah, and he is like a 30th of the following half of the comments on our YouTube videos are just like great episode I'm gonna DM Aiden now. Yeah, and they do it. That was just a main do it I thought that was mean, but they literally thought it was a meme you get DMS Yeah, yeah, I know but like I thought people think think like oh you know like this is a funny meme i'm not actually gonna do this because i'll be like that's obviously dumb but more at 11 streamer doesn't understand

that people who watch him want attention anyway those people dming me they often ask me how can i help the podcast the most oh besides you really? Besides, you know, Patreon aside. Are you converting? No, convert into higher Patreon tiers. We'll make more. So what Eamon replies, he says, can you give me your mom's snap? I'm looking for more milfs. I do. I've sent that to a couple of them.

Yeah, right. When we hit 100K and we get our first YouTube plaque, can I kickflip it? Yes. Oh, yeah. Would you guys be down? I vote yes. But you should install wheels on it. Oh, we put wheels on it and we kickflip it?

Yeah. You know what you could do? You could take an actual board and then you could probably embed the plaque into a deck of a board. Yes. I think make the deck a board and hit a kickflip. Here's the thing, though. There's that guy. What's that YouTuber who does this?

Who embeds YouTube plaques into skateboards? Tony Hawk. It's Tony Hawk. He turns shit into skateboards. Like, he turned, like... Tony Hawk. He made, like... No, YouTube plaques Tony Hawk turns it's Tony Hawk he turns shit into skateboards like he turned like Tony Hawk he made like a no it's not Tony Hawk he made like a skateboard out of like like purely ice Eric cost people like wheels on like a surfboard

Ryan Sheckler yeah all right I will say you'll only have one shot yeah is it Braille I think it's a those plaques are very very weak well no here here's what they don't tell you you can order a bunch shake shake has one but it will make it more stressful for him if we only get one plaque and then we say this is your one shot of this yeah because i i uh i threw my plaque immediate dent remember oh so if you kickflip the plaques weren't shitty you guys remember that i actually disagree with this i disagree with this you're talking to me like i'm

a youtuber who was successful you guys remember our first channel remember our first oh man you guys we all had a channel right this is literally a bad take mean you so what youtube video did he watch that's making him say this no it's it's well known fact, but the plaques back in the day were like just a frame, and then inside it would be like a small silver play button, like a 4-inch by 3-inch play button inside a large foot-long frame. And now the entire frame is the play button instead, which I think looks way cleaner. When did they change it?

Is that years? It's years ago now. Years ago,. Years ago. Okay, okay. MrBeast does not have an old plaque. Oh, wow. It's at least like four or five years old for the Switch. They look so dated now, though, the old ones.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what else. Yeah, they're just made out of a better material. Stop talking changed, boy. Yeah, why has Aiden changed? I've changed. You're going to tell me about how I've changed before I read this five-star review?

Please, go ahead. You want to read a five- to read a five dude ludwig is looking down on us like these stupid shills they can't even do it naturally or right plug his plato's closet he has some cool things he wants to sell on there what what five star review from bailey brad had a dream where i was tricked into taking some wild drug my My vision started to turn into TV static as I collapsed on the ground, screaming for slime to come help me. But no matter how loud I cried out, he could not locate me in the home, eventually fading to black.

Yeah, I'm not your guy. What the fuck? I am not going to help you. Thanks for watching the pod also, bro. You good? Holy shit. He just pasted my tweet. Oh, yeah, my tweet oh yeah that's your tweet right I was like that was a dream like that was a real dream that I had it was terrifying it was uh and

then one more five star review from you know when old xbox tags with the xx it's like that xx hargle xx the podcast is really good hopefully they don't have a falling out because the quality will definitely decrease. True.

Hargol, also the future name of Eamon's future kid in Sweden. Hargol! Hargol-man! And his name was Hargol Lindgren. Armada's last name for some reason? Dude, wait. What was that? Sorry. My mind is going six million

years a minute because we're so fast and we're so quick and we're so hot. What did that refugio say? It was a dream. Eamon had. He told me about that dream. That's what I was going to say. But I said that I would help him. And then you would help Aiden but not the random person.

He didn't help me in the dream. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, but you were screaming for me to help you. Yeah. But I want you to know if that were happening to you in real life, I would help you and I would save you. know if i if that were happening to you in real life i would help you and by the way i would hope yeah i would hope if i'm if i was screaming like i was in that dream you better fellas hypothetical i'm in danger i'm literally screaming for help do you come what am i doing am i busy he's already he's already look if i'm in the middle of a bullet game you gotta

wait true you're waiting the 45 seconds it's like that actually happened the other day nick said come here ludwig and i immediately came and he said hold up and he was like barely into a bullet game and i'm so mad because a bullet game is a minute i know but you called me during the game dude there was 20 seconds left it's just weird to call me during the game like you're on some product you're wrong i think i have this this problem with there's this problem in general with you. Have you explained yet? He shows up, he'll show up late to things, right? But then

occasionally, that 1 in 10 time, he'll show up 5 minutes before or on time, and then you have already prepped for Ludwig to be late. So you're not ready yet either, because you plan for him to not be there yet. And then he shows up and gives you shit.

You know what that's called? He lords it over you. You know what that's called, gentlemen? Keeping you on your toes. No, it's not. It's being annoying and inconsistent. No one would agree it's called that. Keeping you on your toes here.

How have I changed? You changed because for the first time ever since I've met you, I asked you to do an activity and you said no. I did. You've never done that ever. Do you know that? Wait, what did you ask him to do? I said, hey, do you want to go rock climbing tomorrow?

And he said no. Like, don't. And we didn't go together. Where was I for this invite? You were not. You were already asleep. You also had work, so you couldn't even have gone. Fair. It was today, right? It was today. I went rock climbing. And you didn't come together. Where was I for this invite? You were not. You were already asleep. You also had work, so you couldn't even have gone. Fair.

It was today, right? It was today. I went rock climbing, and you didn't come because you said no like a dick. You went rock climbing today? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. You had a big day.

You went with Noel, right? I'm a fit bird. Yeah, I did. You are a hot fit bird. I climbed. I summited a couple V3s. Let's go. That's a lie.

That's pretty crazy for your second time at this. I literally lied by accident. I don't know. I just wanted to. It's a V2. I'm was like that's pretty crazy for like i literally lied by accident i don't know i just wanted to it's a v2 i'm sorry i don't know why i did that you haven't turned off a bit cooler yeah it's okay anyway you've changed though weird weird weird everyone thinks that about you now why did you not come i didn't ask you that don't smile at that don't smile oh i love this because it could mean so many things. What? But he knows it's going to be funny to us.

Why didn't you want to go and hang out with Ludwig now? Tell him now. Did you have anything to do? Do you hate me? That's a good question. Yes, I do. Go on. I'm also not going to let you talk. We have so many topics this week.

We have so many topics. Tell me why you didn't come. Oh, you want to move on. Why didn't you come to let you talk. We have so many topics this week. We have so many topics. Tell me why you didn't come. Oh, you want to move on. Why didn't you come to Rock Climbing? Why did you go? The actual reason is I don't like Rock Climbing. Wow. I do.

I heard, yeah. Zipper gasped like the Melee crowd does when you recover. Oh! I think it's just something that I've tried like a couple times, and it's just not really. I think it's something I would enjoy maybe if I was in a bit better of shape, like maybe. Yeah, like better hand strength, better muscle strength.

Maybe I was like somewhere in Europe. It was like an elderly home instead. Was he climbing into the third story of a nursing home to fucking spread his seed? Climbing up the legs of a 50-year-old Sweden woman. Some gargantuan Swede. He needs a jump king. He needs that setup.

There are literal goals in climbing. Also, I wanted to sleep in today, which I did do, and that was the other reason why. Coward. So, I did. You know what's funny? When I said no,

and I walked away I thought about it and I was like I don't think I've ever said no to like an activity you've asked me to I walked away and cried in front of cutie for like 35 straight minutes I almost cried yesterday

dude Ludwig's fucked up because people that don't know him, that watch him on the internet, have seen him cry more than his family. Yeah. That's not true. That's a crazy stat because of the three times I know you crying, none of which I have been physically present for,

two of them have happened on your stream. Yeah. Isn't that weird? No. What do you do to make me cry on a day-to-day because you only cry in front of an audience that's weird i only cry because i am live 160 hours a month for three years straight and things that have happened in that month in that time span where i've cried you've never done anything to make me come close to crying yeah you're saying that like you're insulting me i'm not i'm just saying i'm saying like why would you you're saying it's weird

that you haven't seen me cry but what have you done you're talking like i'm supposed to do something to make you cry i think you're making an assumption that the only way for him to see you cry is to make you cry i've only cried tears of joy in the past three years. That's weird. And so it was all like grand gestures of niceness. Or like sad movies.

What's the last movie that made you cry? God rest your soul. I was hanging out with an unnamed YouTuber yesterday. And he was telling me about the hardships of being a YouTuber and how it weighs on your mental health in a lot of ways and looking at your best of 10. When you have a bad video, it really weighs on you.

And he was like, yeah, I bet Ludwig talks about this all the time. And I was like, no, not him. Not that guy. You would think Ludwig talks about things. I'm like, that guy's a steel fortress that no bad thoughts enter. Yeah. What a pussy.

Come on. Does it hurt when you get a 10 out of 10 video? No. And for the Ozone Initiated, a YouTube channel, it rates your last 10 videos as either a 1 to 10. 1 being the best. Nick explained it's like a PR. It's like a power ranking. And 10 being the worst.

So if you have a 10 out of 10 video and you just release it, it means it's your a PR. It's like a power ranking. And 10 being the worst. So if you have a 10 out of 10 video and you just release it, it means it's your worst performing video in the last 10. Now I know this because I talked to H-Rock because H-Rock called me up crying like a girl. Like a small girl and he said, I'm wearing a skirt right now. I said, you don't need to tell me that. What's up? Tell me

what's on your mind. He's crying so much. Weeping. Calm down, Brandon. Kind of moaning almost. And I'm like, what's wrong? And he's like so much yeah weeping calm down brandon kind of moaning almost okay and i'm like what's wrong and he's like i haven't done anything as far as like uh accounting and taxes and i'm scared this actually happened i know um and so he calls me up for like what do i do that all the things i made fun of ludwig for are happening to me now yeah and i'm like okay it's gonna be all right sweet brandon sarah ewing yeah you're gonna be okay um and he said well i've already put my hair in a braid so i feel a little

better and i'm like okay that's good what hair and well and so but no i i i'm like it's fine like let's get on a call let's talk about it and uh and we're just talking about chopping up i'm giving him advice and uh he starts telling me he's like, I was like, is this like working for you? You like being an influencer guy? You like doing the YouTube thing? He's like, yeah, it's good. I think the worst part is probably when I get like a fucking, like a 10 out of 10 video and I'll kill myself.

And that was the only thing he said like rattled him to his core. Yeah. And the unnamed YouTuber sounds like it's the same problem both pussies this is just no amount of nvidia stock will make you happy no no nothing makes you happy in this world besides at least 80k a year and good friends that's it that's a real stat i asked everyone i asked atriox like how much how much nvidia stock got. And he just looked at me and he was like, don't worry about it. And I'm like, that's crazy that you won't tell me. You don't want to say.

Well, he told me how much he makes through his endeavors now. And it's like, wow, that's pretty crazy, brother. So the road is paved with gold if you want to be a YouTuber. It's easy and fun and you can just instantly be successful. That's what Ludwig and Atrion taught us. That's right. But we're blessed because Ludwig paused his game to be successful. That's what Ludwig and Atrion taught us. That's right. But we're blessed because Ludwig paused his game to be here. I did.

This shirt was lit. You know who I hung out with today? Who I hung out with today? Who I hung out with today? Wear the shirt in front of? Shroud. Really? You hung out with Shroud today?

I was with Shroud all day today. Oh, you finally got your hour? Did you bring it up? No, this is not. You know what fucking blows? Did you bring it up? No. What happened is Shroud set up this VIP Disney day for us and a bunch of streamers

and friends of his. He didn't tell us this. I wasn't planning on going. It was like my second email? Dude, honestly, he told me? I didn't know who you were. What's up? No, no, no.

He didn't know you were him. No, no, no. The shot on Scrapyard. Yeah. Don't you remember? You don't know about the shot on Scrapyard? He saw that. I bet he saw that. Yeah. No, he brought it up. He wouldn't know. He knows wore it. No, no, no. The shot on Scrapyard. Yeah. Don't you remember? You don't know about the shot on Scrapyard? He saw that. I bet he saw it.

Yeah. No, he brought it up. He wouldn't know. He wouldn't know. He brought it up. It's like a spin, and then it's fine. Anyway, we're all hanging out, and he got this really sick VIP tour, which is pretty random and rare for Disney, because they're pretty uptight.

And it was great, but I've never met him in person before. The first thing he said, he's like, ah, we're finally hanging out. Like, the hour's here. Dude. And I was like, no shot. No shot. In my mind, I was like, yeah, but I was like, no shot. This counts.

Can we roast him right now? Are we allowed to roast him right now? The context is that Maya did a charity stream for an hour to buy Shroud. Like, just have him for an hour. How much did you spend, Ludwig? It was 53 racks in total. $53,000. I wired the money. I did that. I'm still going to get him on something.

I don't want to announce it yet, but I'm still going to get him. Yards an hour. Honestly, I was there. We were schmoozing. I was leaving great impressions. I was dropping LOLWs left and right. You hate it. What, you hate it because what? What do you hate? Success?

What do we need to do out here? When he says he farms lol w's? I was farming lol w's. Honestly, I respect, like, you know, everything that's funny is so much more important to me. When he says he's farming lol w's, it's just huge. I was also being sweet too. For example, someone asked to take a picture of us. I wasn't telling you how sick and good I was. No,, too. For example, someone asked to take a picture of us. You're quantifying this yourself? I wasn't going to tell you how sick and good I was.

No, let me tell you. Someone asked to take a picture. I did this sick maneuver. And we were on a slope. And I was on the higher part of the slope. And I'm like three inches taller than him. So I said, yo, swap with me. He's like, why?

I was like, we're on a slope. We'll be more even. He's like, oh, good looks. Wow. Yeah. You're the dream guy for people to meet that are fans of you. Because you look them in their eyes and you say, i'm ludwig i did no no what's your name ludwig goes into fan mode no but he goes hey what's up and they're like hey i mean like creator mode no you go into ludwig mode yeah you said fan i fan mode i feel like you would yeah fan

fan encounter you do the same thing when you meet somebody as you do when you start a youtube video yeah it's like in starfox when you have to like circle the robot and the wings spread out to me it's kind of like when you go to chucky cheese in the animatronic startup and I'm like how's it going welcome to love it is like it is like and then I shut down and then someone else walks by because before this you were just eating a sandwich quietly you go you you insert one question you're like insert question here and they're like yeah And then I shut down and someone else walks by. Because before this, you were just eating a sandwich quietly. You insert one question. You're like, insert question here.

And they're like, yeah, yeah, definitely. And you're like, well, man, nice to meet you. And then you walk away. Hey, what was your name? I love asking names. That's the biggest thing. Do you remember any of them? I met a guy named Hunter today.

Hunter? Shouts out. Yeah. And a guy named Haywood, too. Haywood. Haywood is dick fit in your mouth? Oh. I was going to say it. Oh, shit. I was going to say it. and a guy named uh haywood too haywood hay with his dick fit in your mouth oh get fucked on come on how'd you fall for a haywood this is so sick because this is the first one of these that i wasn't the victim of so long i i feel like it's just a unique do you want to ask our tour guide was mr. would you blow me mister what what was funny though is I think I impressed shroud a

bit because I was starting to you name like a negative thing you did today yeah you're such a piece of shit I can't honestly I wish you were just so money no well no cuz I got stopped a shit-ton okay and so that we sat down to get coffee and he goes a lot of people stopping you, huh? Oh. And I was like, I don't know. Well, did he say it like in a this is bothering me way? No, more like I am shocked people know who you are.

I am glad to know that Shroud is like talking to you like a human being because that's what he hasn't been doing this whole time. And that's what has been an internal sort of misunderstanding among us all amogus all is that you won the hour with shroud and then he just stopped talking to you and replying to you and we were like oh i guess he's just like hates ludwig and he scammed he's just terrible at replying did you guys did you guys go on buzz light year together nobody is you paid 53 000 I literally did wire the money. You gotta understand this is a man who made like what,

$20 million for 10 months of work? Well, he didn't get the $53,000 either. It's for charity. True, also. I love that Ludwig is defending him.

Ludwig's like, you don't understand. He's got a lot more money. You spent $50,000? Stockholm Syndrome? This is crazy. It's not his fault. You guys don't know him.

If you hung out with him I can change him. I can change him. Did you guys go on Buzz Lightyear? We didn't. We didn't get to go. I bet he would be cracked. I wanted to go on Web S change him. Did you guys go on Buzz Lightyear? We didn't. We didn't get to go. I bet he would be cracked. I wanted to go on Web Slingers.

There's a new one that's kind of like Buzz Lightyear, but it's with your wrists. I will say I was there. I was trying to come back here so we could start recording the pod at like 8 or 9 at the latest. And we go on for the final ride. I was meant to do Pirates of the Caribbean, which is like a slow boat ride. And we get stuck for an hour on the ride. You actually got stuck? We literally got stuck

on the ride. Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah. I 10% don't believe them. Isn't that a fast ride? No, no, no. Pirates is like a very slow ride where you go through. Oh, and it's a big drop at the end, right? Yeah, there's a drop at the end. It's a weed smoking ride. At the very start, there's like a giant dining area. We stopped there at the very beginning we're also the last boat that got through before they stopped it the reason it stopped way far ahead in the ride

people jumped to the front because there's like different rows in this in this raft they jumped to the front six people jumped on front of it. It tipped the boat forward, hit the track, stopped the whole thing. That's so high. Holy shit. Not a dead guy in the water? No dead people in the

water. That you know of? Well, fun fact, the skull is actually a real person's skull. Really? Yeah. Go ahead.

I don't know how to follow that up, but when I was 17 on the exact same ride, I got hit on by a 40-year-old woman. This is such a different experience. At the time, I was like,

that's weird. But now you're like, that's okay. Now I'm like, that was weird. Maybe the skull is that woman's skull. And she was killed by the mouse for her crimes. That doesn't seem right. Because if you're going to have a skull of a person on a boat ride at a theme park,

it should be a criminal. That's probably fair. Right? You don't want it to be a nice person. That's true. Or a famous person would be cool too. Like Brad Pitt's skull? But here's where it got weird.

We were right at an area where you can just get out and go onto an exit. And we had moved up there because we moved a little bit, like a yard at a time. We were trying to just get out. And eventually, Justin from Shroud & Co. just left. He's like, I'm just going to go. And he just walked through the boat onto the sidewalk area where it's cast members only, and then walked to the exit. Oh, you're not trapped in the water?

No, no, no, no. We had moved far enough up after 30 minutes where he could do that, and then he exited. All of us followed. Boat in front of us was like you're gonna get kicked out for that they're like scared dead ass yeah i get out fucking narcs half of us make it through and then one of the the employees arrives and then goes hey and stops the remaining half from exiting the boat they're stranded did you stop or run did you stop or run i was already out

looking over because there's like a little bridge area above. I was looking over watching this all happen. MPs, they call them. Mickey police. Yeah. They just got stopped. And then they're like, we're going to ban you. They like threatened that.

Holy shit. And let me tell you, I was like, damn. People bend to authority. She can't stop us. Yeah. What's going to happen? Disneyland is the only sanctioned place in America where they can kill without any sort of warning. I have heard about that.

Yeah. They're armed. Area 51 too. Area 51, Disneyland, Disney World. If you start talking about the fairly odd parents, they just fucking pull out a heater. Yeah. There's a business insider article about it.

Yeah? Yeah. One of the guys who played Goofy shot a guy in the mouth. I hate silly brain. You want to know a pretty sick insider article. They just released one on the 99 most liked and hated creators, and I was on it. Are you hated?

Hated. I made the top 99. No, I'm not. I wasn't. You've been gassing yourself this whole podcast? I was decently hated. I was like, okay, so I wasn't like top. How do you quantify that? It's just like basically

a survey and then it's like one familiarity and like 100% Our friend Matt smoked weed and we showed him pictures of 40 guys. And he said that guy's whack. I don't know how familiarity works, but I think the most familiar person is Joe Rogan. It was like only 60% of people. So I don't know if you have

to have seen their stuff. Yeah, interesting but i was um familiarity marked two percent oh two percent of the people who filled out the survey knew who i was going back to the last issue of the pod uh that that still makes you like a z list right yeah oh well i was literally like there was like a couple one percenters like i think Alpharad was one. Charlie, like most critical, is four. XQC was four. Is Joe Rogue a B-list? Or can he get into parties where Brad Pitt's A-list?

Joe Rogue is an A-list for sure, right? Like, he's the largest podcaster in the world. He was also just like famous for other shit before, right? Fear Factor. Like, he's been riding with famous people for a long time. He's got like the commentary for sports. Oh, yeah. He's got the famous people for a long time. He's got, like, the commentary for sports. Oh, yeah. He's got the podcast.

He's a comedian. He's got enough. Yeah, and he was a comedian. Also, I feel like A-List is who you surround yourself with, too. And, like, he knows every A-Lister. Yeah, but you still can't be an A-Lister. Like, you can't just hang around the weekend and then become A-List, right? Maybe not.

Oh, here it is. Oh, yeah, that's me. A favorability index. So, this is the favorability part is. Oh, yeah, that's me. A favorability index. So this is the favorability part, where it's like how well-liked you are, which 48% of people put liked, and then somewhere neutral. 20% said they didn't like me,

which is really high for some context. I'm trying to smoke weed with those guys. The least disliked person, like the most no-one-hates-this-guy, was Dunkey. Really? 3%. Dunkey doesn't show his face, right? It's kind of no one hates this guy, was Dunkey. Really? 3%. Dunkey doesn't show his face, right?

It's kind of easy. No, no, people don't. He showed it, but he doesn't in most videos. He does on every stream, but on YouTube usually not. I think showing your face adds to your risk of being disliked. Because people can, it's kind of like reading the book versus the movie, right? You can fill it in with your mind. Yeah.

Zipper, can you keep scrolling? I feel like I didn't see my name. The funniest, well, just 99 creators can fill it in with your mind. Yeah. Zipper, can you keep scrolling? I feel like I didn't see my name. The funniest, well, just 99 creators. If it was 100 for sure. No, one more page. No, we're at Corpse. Wait, Cornhusband. I should be close to Corpse.

Cornhusband is there. Cornhusband was decently disliked. Nick Falco for Chillo. Yeah. Amaranth is on there. I will say the amount of people who said they like Hassan, 30%. Or excuse me, the amount of people who said they dislike Hassan, 30%. The amount of people

who said they like Stephen Crowder, 30% too. Really? I think there's a line there. Both sides are the same. Yeah. Except one person is fit and handsome

and fucks like an absolute animal all day. He does do that. And the other is overweight and eats cheeseburgers for breakfast. For breakfast. That is crazy.

That's like difficult to do. It's like, you gotta go out unless you're making a cheeseburger at home. That's like difficult to do. It's like, you gotta go out unless you're making a cheeseburger at home. Yeah, the old morning burger. You gotta be like, you gotta go to a place, bro.

Do you guys sell cheeseburgers at this hour? Yes, they do. Is it before 10? No, no, breakfast is just when you wake up. McDonald's serves the same food all day.

Breakfast is... No, they don't. No. You have the opposite. You could hire Big Mac 24 hours a day. They serve breakfast all day. They don No, they don't. No. You have it the opposite. You can hire Big Mac 24 hours a day. They serve breakfast all day. They don't have

the normal menu in the morning. Are you telling me I can't wake up at 9 a.m. and get a Big Mac? Yes. No, you're wrong. That is exactly what I'm telling you.

Let's side bet right now. Absolutely. How much? We're going to drive in the car tomorrow at 9 a.m. and go to McDonald's and get a Big Mac. 10% of your net worth.

10% of your net worth. No, here's what we're going to do. If I win the bet, 10% of my net worth. If I win the bet, you have to eat a Big Mac. 10% of your net worth. 10% of your net worth. No, here's what we're going to do. If I win the bet, 10% of my net worth. If I win the bet, you have to eat two Big Macs that morning. No, you have to do

I'd rather bet $50 than eat two Big Macs. You have to do what the supersize me guy did. You have to eat only McDonald's for a month. You have to eat two Big Macs in the morning.

If I lose, I'm shaking your hand, but I'm refusing. If I lose, I'll give you $200. $200? Yeah, and then if I win... No, you're on a diet.

This Big Mac thing is more costly for you. Aiden, think about this. You have to eat two burgers or win $200. This is so positive for you. How sure are you, by the way? Is it over 50%? I'll take this bet. I'll take this bet.

We're going to go to the morning. I'm 90% sure. Hey, by the way, do you think the MILf Hunter and Morgan Spurlock are the same guy? Who is the Milf Hunter? Who is Spurlock? I know the Milf Hunter. Who's the other guy? The Super Sesame guy.

Morgan Spurlock is Super Sesame guy, yeah. Oh, that's his name? 30 Day Challenge guy. Zipper. I don't know. No, no, do not look up the Milf Hunter. Zipper. No, no, no.

It's just a picture of Aiden. Give me the answer. Give me the McDonald's answer. Make this the most uploaded post on our subreddit so when you Google Milf Hunter, Aiden? Give me the answer. Give me the McDonald's answer. Make this the most uploaded post on our subreddit so when you google MILF Hunter, Aiden shows up. The old Ludwig Nonder trick. That'd be so... The Swedish

MILF Hunter. Look, that is way better. I have slept with one person over the age of 30. The Swedish sniper. How many over 40? That's what they call their motto. You need to wait until 10.30am. Fuck you, Ludwig! Fuck you! Wow, two hundo in the bank for Eamon. You were sure. I'm still showing up.

What? I'm still driving tomorrow morning and showing up. So you're going to ask for the works, but a Big Mac? Just eating two Big Macs, getting the day started. Dude, you know who unironically was doing that? It was Aiden. What? He came back from Europe like Europe and East Coast

and he was like yeah I woke up at like like 3 a.m. Yeah you were you were like I actually the only reason I sacrificed this

was because of last week's podcast. Oh. Because I was so fucking tired during our last recording that I realized my new sleep schedule

is not sustainable. Yeah. Yeah. If we're doing this. Well I'm down around the pot earlier. No, you're not. Fuck you. Don't say that.

Fuck you for that. Because you're not. Hey, he's trying. He's not. He's not trying. Trying to piss me off. I'm just a little crazy. Just sit him down.

Ludwig has been talking more in DMs, at least to me, and I do appreciate him trying, because I know he takes it to heart when we roast him for instance he doesn't do the news anymore i think we roasted that out of him and i feel kind of bad no updates anymore yeah you know what i hate about roasting the news out of him is because can we tell him can we tell him can we talk about this now let's talk about it we had a whole orchestrated bit where the next time you talked about the news we were gonna do like a chorus song about Ludwig's We got together and practiced a musical

number together. What? Yeah. We like wrote and practiced a jingle. Well, bring in the news. Do a news update. Fucking, I forget. Someone, it's a sad news story.

I should do a happier one. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, whatever, man. Don't care. Oh, shit. What's a good news story? Now you don't know the news? No, I know one one but it's like

really i feel like it's okay one's fine uh yeah sure um former um tiktok star who was murdered by her hold on is it the news it's news time ludwig give us the news her body was found the boyfriend's missing. They're searching for him currently. So that was the jingle. Just to be perfectly clear, I'm not laughing at the article. Yes, it is the juxtaposition of,

to be clear, juxtaposition of the bit to the... I'm just trying to deliver the news here. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, well, you're a shit newsman because you need to deliver somber things in a positive way. No, you don't. That's not the news at all. You're tone neutral shit newsman because you need to deliver somber things in a positive way. I don't.

That's not the news at all. You've never seen the news at all. I've watched the news. No, you haven't. Yes, I have. You've watched the news. I watch the news. Name two news anchors.

Anderson Cooper and Kate... What's her name? Fuck. No help. No help. Kate Boldwan. No. Yes, CNN.

She's a news anchor. Kate Bodmon. No. Brian Williams. Looking it up. You want to bet? No. Oh,wan. No. Yes. CNN. News anchor. Kate Bodmon. No. Brian Williams. Looking it up. You want to bet? No. Oh, really?

I don't. Okay. I'm going to prove it to you. I've lost too many bets today. Kate Boldwan. There she is. Wow. She's on CNN.

God. Nice. Why do you know her? Well, I watched the election news like four years ago. That's crazy that you remember that. There was like an election last year. If I had to go toe-to-toe With anyone in this room on news anchor names

It would not be Anthony That's just shit that I think he would know You know Elsa Clinch? Dude, that sounds like a strain of weed That's a Legma joke right there No, because I don't run that I'm just saying, oddly enough I probably know more news anchors than he does

And I shouldn't Of course, you've been on the earth three times longer. Here you go. I'll take that. We take our Ws where we can. Slime knew the original extra extra guy. That was his homie. You know Newsies?

That was him. His name was Brent. He was so annoying. Yeah, I haven't brought up the news a lot. It's because we roasted it out of you. You know what? And I don't know a lot about it recently. So maybe you bring it back because you were my one source. Of news a lot. It's because we roasted it out of you. You know what? And I don't know a lot about it recently. So maybe you bring it back

because you were my one source. Of news? Yeah. Yeah, well, I'll try to bring it back for the next pod. You know what? It's a funny thing about Ludwig because we're shooting something tomorrow

and we shot something this weekend as well and we had to shoot a tiny part of it. You might end up seeing it later on on the set. And Ludwig has this thing where he's one take Jake and he is so overconfident in anything that has to do with like recording and delivering lines. And then he's like, nailed it.

Yeah. Right. And what I hate is that he's usually right. He's usually a pretty good one take Jake. And I've seen him be a two take Tony. I've seen it. You've never seen me be a three take Tammy. Fucking idiot.

Three take Melquiades. Yeah. Never seen that in your life. What? It's Wednesday in Spanish. Miracle. But yeah, I think I want to

just give credit where credit is due. You're a natural and you've got big naturals. Yeah. That's all you brought that up for. You brought that up just to say big naturals.

You are a big natural to me. You've got big naturals. What's up, brother? I was going to compliment you. Speak your shit then. I don't know if I want to anymore. You have been gassing yourself a lot. I gas myself up because you kings don't.

God. What's up? You should have heard me in the car with my parents. You should have heard you? Yeah. You said some good shit? I was gassing you up. I did not get to meet your parents.

I was so sad I didn't get to meet your parents. I was bummed. Yeah, only Anthony and Cutie did. I would have liked to have seen your mom again, too. I was going to say that. Fuck! Hey! Too much.

He did this yesterday. No, that. Fuck. Hey. Too much. Too much. He did this yesterday. No, today. Yes, today. Today. We were about to sit down to play Melee, and he was about to make one of those jokes, and he's like, I can't. It's weird if he does it.

I can't do it now. I've met her. It's too real. I've met your mom, and I can't make a joke anymore. And you're too close in age. No, that would make it more appropriate. That's why it'd be weirder, because then you could actually conceivably do it. No, his dad's a Chad.

That's true. I couldn't take him in combat. He would literally put you in a plane and drop you out without a parachute. One of our first conversations over Facebook, one of our first real conversations, is Anthony hitting me up out of the blue. And he's like, I've spoken two words to Aiden at this point in my life. And he asks me, your dad's a pilot, right? Because I think he had come up in one of the previous point in my life. And he asks me, like, your dad's a pilot, right? Because I think he had come up in one of the previous times we'd met. And I was like, yeah.

He's like, are they all Chad's? It seems like a Chad profession. And I actually thought about it. Like I was thinking about it, and I was kind of going through the catalog of like my dad's friends that I know. And I was like, yeah. Yeah, he replied only works because aiden actually thinks about every question i assume i it was sometimes i test it and i just ask him literally just the most random dumb shit i can think of and i'll

sit there and think about it yeah that's all the time why would you do that i just because one i have this problem where i just like hearing my own voice and for two aiden's always there so sometimes just be like would you get herpes if i gave you 10k and i'll just be like um no like where is it no i wouldn't be i think it would like get in the way of like doing stuff like do i still my job i guess if i could still travel yeah like i take like 20 on the on the subject of you hearing your own voice, you've gotten in this incredible habit lately of using my name at any given time to make songs about how I'm cringe or positive.

Eamon is cringe. Yeah. He does this. And I'm like, I'm just, I'm, I, I'm just what Neeper was to you two years ago. Yeah, 10% cringe. You just create songs and then put my name into them. 15% cringe.

20%. I always had this idea that he would be a really good Pokemon named Amon Gaimon. He'd be like, Amon, Amon, Gaimon, Amon, Amon, Amon. See, you know what I hate about that bit ever since he told me is because sometimes when I'm by myself, I'll say that to myself. Really? Because I think it's funny. Part of the reason I started doing that is because. Don't laugh so loud at that.

I thought about you listening to like fucking Adele in your room and just going, I even gave it. We work in the same office. And for a while when I would be in there you would have your headphones on and I would try to talk to you and you would do this thing where you don't hear what I say even though I'm talking loud so then I was that to you too I would just sing that your cringe until you noticed oh yeah and that that would that's why I started it is just because you wouldn't listen to you I called you like this and on your desk with your feet up,

Amen is cringe, Amen is cringe. Yeah, that's right. That's you. That's me, bitch. That's what you do. Welcome. I do. It was funny.

The other day, we're in the same office area, and Ludwig, so my desk is next to Ludwig's, and Amen's is like 90 degrees. So he's like faced away from us and Ludwig has a notepad up and it just says like, you're cringe in giant text on his screen. And he's like, oh shit, Eamon, you should look at this.

And I look over and I see what he's doing and without skipping a beat, I'm like, oh shit, that's going to be a problem. And so Eamon double looks over with intent and it just says you're cringe yeah and it's just like he just gets fucking that's the symbiosis there's like there's like viewers out there who are like oh man they really bag on

Aiden on the show but you know it's it's the bit for the show I bet when they go off they're all really nice you guys are like yeah show ends we're instantly talking all over again I tried to get slime with that and he did he did this no I'm not gonna look. And I said, no, you gotta look. And he says, no, it's probably some dumb thing to get me. Because you showed me your middle finger

so I just sat there like an asshole. Dude, you showed me your butthole. Dude, remember the other night? Yeah. Dude, I'm like, I don't know why you needed to get me. I was in my room with the door closed. Yeah. And like, we needed to go do something. I need to show you something on Discord. Yeah, you're like, I need to show you something. And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna open the door. Make sure it's not your penis or balls. And then I show you something on Discord. Yeah, you're like, I need to show you something. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to open the door.

Make sure it's not your penis or balls. And then I'm opening the door and I say, or butthole. And he's literally bent over as I say butthole. And he's like, oops, sorry. Like, I called it out

as it happened. We're regressing. This is you. You're going back to butthole. You've been showing your balls more lately. I have. You have.

You saw him in the masking tape, right? Yes. You guys see that crazy picture that Anything for Views put on Twitter? No. Yes. I sent it to Anthony Snap. Is it the one where he posted the picture of Steve from Blue's Clues? No. No. It's himself. He is fully nude.

The camera is right under his nutsack. He is only holding his penis. His balls are straight under the camera, and he's just looking down at it, and he just publicly put it on Twitter. That's so fire. It is so fucking funny. By the way, quick check-in.

If you guys are watching with your wife or girlfriend, hope you're enjoying. Just give us any feedback in the comments. Let us know what you think. Preferably in a review-based format. Well, maybe not then. Any sort of review is good. Yeah, I thought it was really... And then he sent me that,

and I just clipped the title of the song, This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race, and then sent it back. Yeah, I got a giggle out of that. To illustrate exactly what I meant. Yeah. Really quick, circling back to Aiden's dad, the pilot. So and anthony used to run this bit that uh you can't be a pilot and be from canada it's like not allowed uh no no basis for that bit really we just thought it was

funny the origin of the bit was with a different canadian friend that's right yeah because because the the different canadian friend we had this this joke that canada is just like minecraft world yeah like it's just a very simplified like idiotic place and all the all the pilots are villagers it's like you go to the front of the plane and he just turns around yeah and it's like I'll fight on my emeralds I can't get on this plane yeah it's like how many emeralds is his first class upgrade uh and uh I bring this up because uh the place i work has a minecraft server now that's 24 hours operating uh and i started playing minecraft again i haven't played

minecraft in why why do you have that i i don't know but i the other night i was just playing minecraft and it's like 4 a.m i have work in the morning and i'm i'm like sailing in a in a random direction just waiting to find stuff. And I had a thought. I was like, I'm playing Minecraft right now. I'm not just running the game and clicking around. I am playing the fucking game. You're immersed. I went so far that I found a village.

And I entered the village. And there's like, I don't know if this shit's an update, if it's RNG. There's so many fucking villagers. There's like 40 villagers. Standard. And they're all like roaring. They're all doing that. And all I could think about was

Aiden's dad. And I was losing my shit laughing. It's 4am in my room. I'm literally playing Minecraft. I'm just fucking dying laughing. Thinking about like meeting Aiden's parents. And them just being like... Yeah. When I met his parents and i'm just being like yeah it went well when i met

his parents they were both just doing this i was like i tried to shake their hand and they just kind of oh man yeah i've been i've been fucking in the sauce that's crazy you've been in well yeah you got like because last time you played uh minecraft you actually got your heart broken by ludwig oh my god was that fucked up that was still thinking that was one of the most mad i've ever been move on he says because you know that was one of the most like move on okay you want i didn't do anything wrong am i the asshole okay look look this is what happened we start a minecraft server it's me you atri Atriox, Stanz. Were you in it? No.

I think it was maybe just us four and maybe some random people who were like, do you want to hear it? Yeah. But mainly Haywire. It was 300 viewer Andy did it. It was Haywire. Oh, yeah. And Ludwig is putting in hours. Hey, why are you blowing me?

Come on, man. I am putting in hours. Ludwig's putting in way more hours than anyone else in the server i made a beautiful base he's also the first person in the server so he gets this huge base he's enchanting he's doing all this shit and in this server we're kind of like pvping like every once in a while we'll like see someone and we'll fight and you know that's just part of it we get into the server i'm brand new to the fucking server. I spend all day mining, and I walked into Ludwig's mine, and then went a different direction. So I didn't want to, I didn't have tools or anything.

So I got, I went and got a basic pickaxe, and I was like, oh, I don't want to fucking, like, start a mine thing. I'm going to go the opposite direction where Ludwig's mine starts, and I'm just going to mine. So I mine for, like, two hours, and I find, like, a fuck ton of diamond, and that's the main thing so I mine for like two hours and I find like a fuck ton of diamond and that's the main thing I find a bunch of stuff I made the main thing is I find a bunch of diamond I instantly first thing I do is go to Ludwig Ludwig so I get like home from work it's home from work I'm like Ludwig I went into your mine and I found a ton of diamond uh I didn't fuck with any of your shit but because I use your your mine, I'm going to give you half. And then he says,

you went in my mine? And I said, yeah, I mean, yeah, but like, I didn't fuck with anything. He's like, that's my diamond. I'm like,

I'm going to give you half. And he's like, no. And then he kills me with his enchanted sword, takes not just the diamond, I had everything I had in the server on me so he takes

everything literally wiping the last two hours out of my life refusing to give it back and i just said to him i will not re-enter this server or play minecraft with you ever again and i left the server and we still have not played again to this day well he's skipping some parts. Go ahead. What did I skip? He tried to kill me several times on the server. Before? You are smoking penis, balls, cock, and weed in a circle. I would love that. Wives and girlfriends, welcome to the yard. What's wrong with this tale I've spun?

Bro, this was my first time in the server. What do you mean before? What are you talking about? I started the story when I had just entered the server. He spent his hard time mining. Well, this was server two. There was a server one. This is a brand new server.

There's some backstory. Ludwig has no value in killing me besides taking the measly shit I have on me that took me two hours to acquire. This was also off stream, right? Or did he kill you on stream? On stream. I play on stream. It was for content. You know what?

That's when I learned he values content more than his friends. Wow. I value content more than Nick having diamonds. Well, he hasn't played with you. They were my diamonds! I do think it's funny. The only reason I wanted to conjure that bad blood back up

is because grown men still play Minecraft, and they still get fucking mad, right? Like, I know Minecraft YouTube has become this giant engine that has, like, built sarcophaguses for many, but it's like, at the end of the day, sometimes you just, you screw up too bad. That's the angriest I've ever seen H-Rog is in Minecraft. Really?

We were doing PvP. It was like a few of us. And it was supposed to be some special PvP server we were playing on. And it was very small, but H-Roc, there's this underground area. Oh, I was there. Yeah. I was there. He was underground for a lot of it, so I couldn't see him or fight him or know where he was.

And he was just farming materials to fight me. But everyone else was dead already, so I was goading him or fight him or know where he was and he's just like farming materials to fight me but everyone else is dead already so i was like goading him i was like where you at pussy and like just non-stop for like 15 minutes because he wouldn't show himself longer the longer that you don't fight in this game we were playing four walls yeah it's it's there's walls that separate everyone and you get resources in your corner and the walls fall and you fight uh and the longer you wait everyone else is waiting to play again it's miserable for everyone who is dead oh yeah i see but he was just farming mats the whole time while they both died nick and sans and uh and so i was just goading him i think stands and nick joined in and then eventually he's like fine fine and he came up and he had like shitty armor and i just killed him he's like you happy and then eventually he's like fine fine and he came up and he had like shitty armor and I just killed him and he's like you happy and then he like quit

and logged off. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah I was one of the most mad I've ever seen him. It was crazy. Do you think current Deidre gets that mad? Yes. Probably. Probably. His gaming spirit is still very much there. You know what he condoned me the other day when he came over. Condoned?

So you don't. The word you're looking for is chastised. Whatever you think condoned means is hilarious. I think it means he like supported what I did. I was totally wrong. He was like a nice thing. I'll see myself out. Well,

condone is more like tolerate. Yeah, I was more, it was more nice than tolerate. It was more like he, um, no, you said I condone you for your efforts.

It's like, like, yeah, that's, that's kind of what I was thinking. It's like more supportive. I condone this. I guess, yeah. The way you used it was weird.

I agree with that. No, it's a good thing. It's a positive thing. I assumed you meant condemned. Yeah. Because I thought this was going to be a negative... And you know what you've done? You've made an ass of yourself.

No, I did. No, I'm not... And him. No, I mostly... You made an ass of him and No, I did. No, I'm not. And him. No, I mostly. You made an ass of him and you. You did this. Wait, fuck you. Well, what I was going to say is that we were playing Melee,

and we played this best of five set, and I think it was like Fox Fox, and there was like some money on the line. It was on stream. In game five, we go randos, and it's like Game & Watch versus like Roy, some like weird ass shit. Yeah, I think he had a marginally better character.

And it was really close. Last stock, last hit, I lose. And immediately I was good sport about it because I was like on stream. And I was like, yeah, good shit, man. And it like popped off. And I was like, yeah, whatever. And then after the stream, he's like, damn, I can't believe you were like really nice after that ended. Like, that was crazy.

Like, that was chill. I thought you'd be like mad because like, you know, gamer spirit. I was like, yeah, I just,. Like, that was crazy. Like that was chill. I thought you'd be like mad. Cause like, you know, gamer spirit. And I was like, yeah, I just,

you know, it was good. It was good content. So you're different. I'm different. I just had this conversation with someone else where I was like, now that Ludwig is just so successful in a different, right.

He doesn't have to put so much stake in whether or not he beats someone in a video game because he can just look back on his wealth and be like, doesn't matter i'm rich well i don't look i was not it's not like i thought to myself that's what happens i thought to myself this was i don't care what you say to me right now and it was fun for atriox so it's fine you don't want to ruin the vibe but also i think yeah getting mad when you lose in video games is a function and a symptom of your pride being damaged or your expectation. I have moved to being more concerned on whether people are having fun or not, more so than am I doing well or not. I chain-grabbed Atriok in winner's finals of a house tournament.

Oh my god. And then he quit. Would you still do that today? Yes. Yeah. So he's the same. You're different. Yeah, I'm different.

No one knows what the fuck's going on here. I'm cool. Yeah. So he's the same. You're different. Yeah, I'm different. No one knows what the fuck's going on here. I'm cool. Yeah. That's not the conclusion. No, all that's right. All that's right. Thank you. Aiden gets me.

Thank you. All that's right. Yeah. No, you know what's funny? I've been, so the past two days, I've been having a hankering for melee. Just like, you know, hit the crackpot. People have been, dude. And I'm just like, I want to play a lot.

So I'll ask Eamon because he's always around and he's never working. And you know what? He said no to you for the first time I've ever seen. No, he always comes back. He came back? He said no and then he like five minutes later, he's like, I'll play Sims, dude. Like hooking up with an ex?

You shouldn't do this again. Okay. So me and Slime played Melee and I had fun, but I don't think I'd do it again. So, but what I've been doing, because the last, when I play Aiden, he plays very in a frustrating way. But I also have a problem where I just get frustrated when I lose. And it's become a thing where it's like, I don't want to be a rager on the setup anymore. I fucking hate when you guys play. Please stop playing Melee.

No. Listen to what I'm saying. You've got to let him finish. You've got to let him finish. Okay, finish'm saying okay finish three days in a row yeah i got mad i got three days in a row and i have been using this time to practice just not getting mad and playing some melee with amon and he plays insufferably yeah it's really hard to not get mad but i try try really, really hard and I've been doing great. I've said like one thing to him. I've just played the game. We've played three days in a row. Yeah, but I played Sheik for the first time today.

Yeah, it sucked. But yeah, you were there. You were there when me and Eamon were arguing. It was like last week. It was like me and my girlfriend, Cutie. It's like long day at work. We're cuddled up watching like some show on T like Bob's Burger or something.

And then you guys are playing and it's all fine. Like I'm fine. I don't care. Like you guys can go ahead and play. But then it's like, then it's like, it's like, it sounds like,

oh, you play some fucking lame piece of shit. And Aiden's like, I don't know why you have to talk about like how I am. Oh, this is before Riptide. Yes. You're like,

I don't know why you have to talk about like in real life stuff when it's like what I'm doing in the video game. Cause like at the end of the day, I'm just trying to win it. And you're like, I don't give a shit. Cause like this shows you, you are as a real life stuff when it's what I'm doing in the video game. At the end of the day, I'm just trying to win it. You're like, I don't give a shit because this shows who you are as a real person. I'm trying to watch Bob's burger flip this hitch. Me and Amy are trying to hurt each other's feelings.

No, hold on. Defend me. Please defend me. Please. I never throw the first stone. Ever. I don't care about that. What I care about is I'm trying to watch. We should have a no melee rule. Okay, look, look, look.

It doesn't matter who started it. Here's my issue. How does it not matter? Here's my issue. Oh, my God! Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Yeah.

I'm Reese. Even today, when I was getting salty, I'm Reese even today when I was getting salty I'm getting mad at mistakes I'm making and I was you know what I was cool as a kook are you winning it sounds like no I think he took like over 50 you're gonna say something I was gonna

say that I think slime has a week but there is some level of a point to you playing layman friendlies and there being context to that that matters. Because I think that most people, when you play friendly, it's like, you know, Melee's very expressive and you usually zone in on just trying to win. So, like, you force the other person to, like, focus really hard when, like, friendlies are usually a casual experience that you get to have more fun during. And that makes it a very one-sided experience for you because you don't clarify before playing with someone hey I want this to be like a really you know serious

practice session I'm trying to grind improve so because you don't do that sometimes the other person doesn't have as much fun as you I think his reactions out of pocket however I think this has changed however I forgot my point no no social context with Nicholasolas well i would love

to bring up the time very early when amon started living with us when nick and aiden played after work at bts the only time i've ever been salty and friendly i've never heard nick be this petty but uh they played some friendlies and why don't you tell me what tell us what happened tell tell the audience we were playing at work we were playing at work. We were playing at work. I can't believe this happened. I'm playing Peach. Or no, sorry. It's the opposite.

No, no. I'm playing Peach. Aiden's playing Falco. And Aiden is just running from me, shooting lasers, and putting the clock to eight minutes. The entire fucking game. He's stalling eight minutes straight. He's stalling eight minutes. He's stalling eight minutes in friendlies.

It's going close to timeout. I am not at all reciprocating this energy. There's no money on the line. We're minutes in friendlies. It's going close to timeout. I am not at all reciprocating this energy. There's no money on the line. We're just playing friendlies, and he is purposely running camping, and I'm dashing at him with Peach. And I'm like, PTZ? PTZ zipper? And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is your fucking problem? Why are you playing like this?

And he's just laughing to himself. And I'm like, all like all right well if you would not like to have any fun then like i what what exactly did i say to you you didn't say anything that was the crazy thing that was you didn't say anything i guess this is my inner monologue but then you started playing like what i what i would say what you guys would call really lame after that. I see. And I have obviously noticed a change in the tone of the room and a distinct difference in how he's playing. And after a few games of this, because Ken leaves. This is a three-man setup. Yeah.

I didn't know that. Yeah, that's why I did it at the time. Because I knew if I scrapped with his Peach and my Falco, I had no shot of winning, and I didn't want to get off the rotation. So I did everything I could. And I'm playing Peach because I'm like, Melee's fun.

To win the game. Let's try other combos from other characters. And he's being a fucking sociopath. And then he changes the way he's playing, and we play like a few games a day. Yeah, because I'm like, all right, I'll do what he's playing and i and we play i'm like all right quick question though what was scoreboard uh i don't remember what what do you mean who was like falco game yeah i won yeah i remember it very distinctly ball don't lie it came down it came down to like it came down to like last hit and i won the game

and he like visibly deflated like but in like a in like a tilty like in an angrier way so what happened is that he absorbed your life points is that you literally just you right so you played Falco then and you just ran away from him yeah you're a dementor in that scenario yes

it was very dementor-esque I was literally just like all I do when I play you is run at you and go for cool combos and have fun. And I'm like, why are you doing this to me? This is only you benefiting Street. And this is also before we force-fed the realization to Aiden

that he can't contextualize that other people don't see the world the same way as him. And he can only see how he feels about things. He now understands this. But this is before he understood this. You say it in a very broad context. him yeah we had to and you can only see how he feels about things he now understands this but hold on this is before he understood this you say it in you say it in a very broad context no no we sat him down no no no no no no no there's an intervention no no no i think we because we had a whole conversation about this and i i think i have changed i have like learned things but i think

my my big thing is i i think for a long time my life, I have made decisions on the basis of imagining myself in the other person's perspective and then gauging whether or not that thing is acceptable based on how I would react. In general, this is called empathy. But it doesn't work very well sometimes when you don't care about a lot of things happening to you turns out and what what i i also empathy if you don't feel the yeah it's crazy it's crazy you both you both said their perspective and how i would feel no but that's hilarious that's how empathy works yeah it's imagining yourself like understanding the impact of that on the other you're right but you sound like dexter i wouldn't mind and i i have learned i i think i've just have learned over time that people are more emotional about things than i imagine them to be and i and i I think a big thing for me is the way I learn about things is like huge emotional reactions to things or times when I've hurt people really stick with me.

Like, and I once, this is very recently, me and Aiden were driving in a car. Aiden's drunk. And I'm like, what are you doing? Because he's like messaging someone like profusely. He's like messaging an old friend that he wronged and he's like he's like trying to to like like unburn the men and i'm like i'm like dude put the phone down holy shit no i just gotta say sorry i love you man it was a bad bad past bad history i i think like if it's bad enough i'll think about it for years and it will distinctly change my the way i make decisions and like my behavior and I think they're just this is this is actually this

minor instance of melee at work and me just thinking something was like funny or like didn't really matter like actually really like like caused a rift at the time between me and Nick yeah you guys chopped it up in the car for a day, you guys chopped it up in the car. For a day. Well, you guys chopped it up in the car. But enough to talk about it for a really extended period of time and then actually change my behavior since then. I also think a really funny thing happens a lot of the time when stuff like this happens where like, so I get mad at you because you camp for eight minutes versus me with Peach. Then Slime goes, yeah, that's what you do to me all the time.

And I have to be like, okay, hold on. No, no. I have to be like okay hold on no no i have to be like okay look i see what he's saying and how it sounds like what i'm saying but i'm not on his side right now we're on even though we're both against you we are not a team we're a team the slime trope where he he looks at you he finds a vague similarity between you and him and he goes we're the same and then the third and then the third person in the room will be like no and they'll be like oh no well something you don't have to worry about being the same or different coinbase one thing you can guarantee will be the same.

High quality app experience is Coinbase. Coinbase sponsors the yard. Sheesh. Sheesh. Sheesh. They don't listen to these ad reads. I can do this. I can keep running this for 15 seconds. You can do it.

We can just do a minute long sheesh and then Coinbase just flying across the screen. Everyone give your best Coinbase. Ready? I'll go and then Coinbase just flying across the screen. Everyone give your best Coinbase. Ready? I'll go first. Coinbase. Um, okay. Well, can I get weird with it? Yeah. Your best. Coinbase! Okay.

Coinbase. Like a southern man. I'm an oil man. Go ahead. Coinbase. I didn't win. That's the Mac and PC. He's like, Coinbase. It just works. Anyway, thank. Coinbase. I didn't win. Oh, that's the Mac and PC. Yeah. He's like, Coinbase. It just works.

Yeah. Anyway, thank you, Coinbase, for sponsoring the yarn. Go download the app. Check it out. What's your code? I've done a little bit of shopping recently. Love that. A little bit of shopping. Love that.

Love a little bit of shopping. A little bit of slopping. Anyway, to put a bow on all of us, Eamon realized many things about himself. It's are you there, God? It's me, Margaret, but for Eamon and playing Melee. I had a weird interaction with a high school friend. How'd that go? What happened?

So I hit up a bunch of my high school friends today. You don't want to smoke weed? Yeah, I said, yo, you guys got any ganja? Like reefer. Hey, Jake, I'm trying to chief the kind, and we maybe arrange something. I want to buy a weeb. It's chief and amen.

I hit him up to go to a football game back home, like a Pats game, because it's like a Pats-Bucks game happening soon. So I hit him all up for it. At Pats games, you know how they have the seventh inning stretch? There's the third quarter sun kiss. He's not even there anymore. I know. And they still are.

You didn't say sun kissed. You said sun kiss. Yeah. It's like boys hole. I don't know what that is, but that's scary. It's like one of those Halloween costumes where it's you in a costume, but then there's an inflatable part. You're going as Tom Brady, like kissing his kid on the lips.

Kangaroo. It's just like on your face all day. Yeah. I hit him up, and I call one of them. And then he says, like I talked about it. I was like, you down to go? He's like, yeah. And he says, all right.

Text me like 30 minutes later. He says, yo, call me like 30 minutes later he says yo call me so i call him he's like um hey man uh just want to say like yo we should hang out sometime he's like in arizona his name's evan he's not too far he's like we should hang out sometime i'm not too far i could come to you you could come to me like i don't know like you're busy these days and like i just wanted to make a joke from it like you know i'm not unattainable so i was like like while he was saying i said yo mark can you move the million to the other account? It's like a joke.

Yeah. But I'm so busy. That's a great bit. I would laugh at that. And then I hop back on the phone. He's like, are you good? Are you free? I guess Mark there, do you need to go? And I was like, no.

I was kidding. Are you saying that your old friends have no sense of humor? No, he's actually one of the funniest people I know. I just think he thinks I've changed so much because we just we haven't hung out a lot and if he watches the yard he will know that you have he i don't think he watches and we're the same and now his friend will know that well if he if he somehow got through 15 minutes of amon being a shitty melee friend yeah and. And he got to this point. Do you think that he would like me?

Honestly, do you want my honest opinion? Yeah. I expect everyone to meet you to not like you. Why? Because you're abrasive. No. You're being abrasive in the conversation. What if he calls your friend Mr. Bean? Do you think that will...

I'm a peach. Break him down a bit. And I said this last episode, I'm a peach. I always expect failure from you, and you often impress me. That's great. That means I succeed more often. He said that, and then you were like, awesome. That's crazy. This is great.

I can't fail. Because failing is the baseline you fail i can't i can't go but we put it in a thumbnail the bow ties you failed yeah but that wasn't on you that's a rare flop that actually that had me thinking so the i actually think you you as someone who who can be abrasive or does have these opinions that i think makes you come off across as like aggressive say what you mean amen crock of shit but when you do meet new people or if you're forced into like a very i feel like a very like new and like traditional social situation that you often try to avoid pretty hard you do hard to do well. But I was

thinking about one of your other great flops. When he was on Slime's top five flops. Slime's top five flops. Number one, BoTez. Number two, our money match at Runback.

Number three, every ULF you lose. Number four. Wait, what? You lose every you laugh, you lose. Oh. We're talking about social missteps. The other Botess flop. What? I remembered it. When you were on the Austin show.

Oh, that wasn't a flop. I made it to top three being a fucking nobody with a homeless man beard. Oh. That was not a flop. Maybe in the context of the show. Flop season. What blew my mind is I've never seen you stumble over your words like that. Oh yeah, I was

not seasoned and I was not practiced because it was a really weird experience. The Austin show is like, it's weird because a lot of people on it aren't clever. They aren't funny. If you don't know what it is because it hasn't streamed in three years, it's basically like a reality dating show live on Twitch. It's The Bachelor, yeah.

It takes place over a couple hours. It happens within a few hours and it's live on Twitch. It's The Bachelor. It's The Bachelor, yeah. But it takes place over a couple hours. It happens within a few hours, and it's live on Twitch, and it's like 10 guys, one girl, or vice versa. And you were on it for the Botez, and you got a little nervous. Yeah, there were times in which I didn't find the words,

and I think it was just, ultimately it's a lack of preparation. Because like Friends of Slime on the scene, that's preparation. I think of, when I did it, I think of like decision trees and option trees and answers to everything that could happen and then fill the rest in with I don't know why she didn't pick you you're you look at everything and look at everything in decision and option trees like the rest of us so it's like so when I'm like

when I'm being on an on-screen like dude I need that level of preparation and I had no idea what to do so I didn't let me say something brave right now Amon's cringe because I agree with you. I went on the Austin show for Mia Malkova Yeah, famous wild star remember we watch that in the office. We were sweating it like a fucking Famous Warren Warren star Mia Malkova a little before you moved in under you were to BTS yet had an Austin show Like a bachelor and I was one of the guys i had like a few hundred viewers at this time and it had like 20k plus and i was really nervous in the lobby leading up to it because he has like a 40 minute intro where everyone's hanging out before and none of the

guys knew me and no one was really chatting with me and i i remember i took a shot i was so nervous uh which didn't help because i didn't have any chaser so I just felt like burning vodka trickling down and I get on the show and I do the intro and I don't get eliminated round one because someone got meme eliminated round two I make a out of pocket small penis joke

it's not out of pocket if it's true it was well it was out of it was like you know everyone's gassing themselves up and someone was French and like, you know, everyone's gassing themselves up and, and, and someone was French and they said, you know, the French have big penis.

And I said, well, I refute that. Yeah. Uh, and no one laughed and she kicked me out right after and it felt terrible.

Uh, see, at least I made it to top three. It's based on nothing. That's a good gamble though. Cause it's like, it's a porn star. It's like,

you could, you know, I thought she would like a small dick for once. She sees you as honest. She sees you as honest and funny. But instead she was like, the numbers don't compute. Delivery. Please, more big dick.

That's what I want. It's delivery. It's delivery. Because you said earlier in the episode, smoking that shit that made the king jump. But you said it in a way that kind of throws it away. And for all our comedy nerds out there delivery is everything and you fuck that up yeah thanks man appreciate the insight write that one down come on oh damn for the audio look at it dent in look at it dent in because there's nothing there

slime tapped the tip of ludwig's penis with his finger like a... How are we doing, girlfriends? We still in there? We still having a good time? I will say, there's a time in which I really appreciate you, Ludwig, as trusting me, which it doesn't feel like it happens a lot. You withhold affection a lot, because I've told you I love you a lot. You've, I think, never told me or apologized to me for anything. But there are times where...

So, Friendsgiving. you remember friendsgiving when i had gonorrhea yeah and i had my diaper on and i told you and i was like gonorrhea i remember because i walked by the bathroom you went we're moving so fast that was my most memorable part of friendsgiving too so so i'm like in a weird state right i have gonorrhea it's friendsgiving it's a plan group activity so much. There's a lot going on. Yeah. A lot. Melee happened.

And there's a lot going on. And you came up to me and you were like, hey, we're starting at like seven. You need to come down for the Lil Ws. You need to farm Lil Ws. They basically said, you need to come entertain our guests because you're funny. Yeah. And that meant a lot to me. Wow. And also, when you have me on stream, you will sometimes say, I trust you to be funny. And that means a lot to me well and also when you like have me on stream You will sometimes say I trust you to be funny and that means a lot

This is this is Ludwig's thing where he needs something so he comes up and schmoozes you no I don't think he knows he's losing here's the thing because I love to me He'll be like it'll be like hey. I need my Mario Party goon I need my day one our and I'm like you just need one to play man. No, but you're also cracked at Mario Party Yes, I know He wouldn't be saying you wouldn't go out of that way out of your way to tell me that unless you needed me to go do that with you right you understand that at any point where i ask you i could have asked dr battle and he would have replied faster and been there quicker yeah you

could have you do you think that i think that that is a formidable option for you you're at you no but you're portraying it as if i'm just asking you because I need someone. It's more like I need you. I'm saying that like any one of us on a given day might tell you that we're proud of you or that you're good at something, whereas you will use it as stake to get people to do things for you. Here's the thing. I disagree. He might do this for you. He'll schmooze you because he knows you need to be won over.

He doesn't schmooze. I don't. He doesn't schmooze me because. Biggest road dog in the house. But what I'm saying is he doesn't. He'll compliment me without needing to schmooze me, which Biggest road dog in the house. But what I'm saying is he doesn't... By far. He'll compliment me without needing to schmooze me, which I respect because he's just telling the truth. If I wasn't funny, he wouldn't have me on.

What's your trait? What's your value in Ludwig's world? He never schmoozes me. Just ask. You say yes to most things. You know what I do sometimes is I'll go up to Eamon and I'll hug him and I'll go, I love you. He does do that.

Yeah. I've never gotten one of those. I've gotten a few I love you's from Ludwig. What's up, dude? I don't know. You know what happened since I moved upstairs? I don't know. He checks in like a dad.

Yeah, because he doesn't fucking hang out anymore. And I'm upstairs. He comes into my room. He's like, hey. That's what I used to have to do. He just comes in and he's like, what's going on? I used to do that to Nick at the old house. I used to just come in. Yeah. Now it's usually a jar, so I see you and I'm like, all right, he's like, what's going on? I used to do that to Nick at the old house. I used to just come in.

Yeah. Now it's usually a jar, so I see you and I'm like, all right, he's doing fine. I purposely keep it open now. Yeah, you do do that more often. I keep my door open now. I like the open. You know why I don't walk in is because every time I say, yo, you free? He does this.

He goes, uh, yeah. Amen? No, him. Oh. And that hesitation, I'm always like. That means a lot because what it means is no but if you need something i'll do it i know that's why i don't like coming in anymore okay sorry do you only approach nick when he's in his room when you need things yes no i offered

him pizza the other day that's true so this is true he was high and it was 2 a.m and i was i appreciate 2 a.m it was midnight it was midnight.m. It was midnight. It was midnight. You're right. Sorry. It was midnight. And he came in, and then he told... This is my follow-up. More context. Bailiff, get the cuffs ready. He then explained how he had done really... He won the chess tournament that day. Bailiff, suck him off.

So part of offering me a slice of his giorno was telling me that he did well in a chess tournament. That's true, Ludwig. I wanted to share the experience with someone who appreciates chess, yeah. I'm just saying, it would be passable that he just wanted to brag for a moment Bela pinched the tip of his penis

I didn't tell either of these guys I just told you because you like chess no you told me because you knew I'd care and they wouldn't I think that I'm on

his side you're acting like you you almost had it I thought I was almost there you anyway the boys the boys go through changes. We're more aware of each other's feelings, and I think that's really nice.

You know, I asked Mango today to come on the yard, and he already said. Really? Yeah, I was in his chat, and I said, hey, you want to come on the yard? And he said, what do I get? And I'm like, what do you want? And he's like, I mean, drop a few subs.

I was like, what? Mango want? And he's like, I mean, drop a few subs. I was like, what? Mango's a businessman. You know what? He does have something that I wanted to talk about today, which I thought was really funny. Yeah. Mango, when you catch him playing Nintendo Switch games on his stream, he's using Amon's Switch that he stole from our house.

That is true. Wait, he didn't steal it, though, did he, Ludwig? Well, he needed a switch and i told him i'd give him one and i gave him amon's okay so it's not yours but what's funny is that like mango's playing with amon's childhood me is that right yes he plays mario kart with the me i made like 10 does it have the diagonal haircut? Like the little jagged, like what is the hair? Yeah. That's Eamon's me.

Yeah. Because you gave it. You picked a goofy haircut for your guy. Your me looks goofy. You gave his we to Mango. And I'm wondering if we'll ever see it again. I'm the goofy one? No, your me looks goofy.

He's using it. That's the point. He's using, it's just, friends hit me up and they're like, oh, I see you're playing that game. And then they send another message like 10 minutes later. They're like, wait, does Mango have your Switch? Because some of them don't know that I know him. And they're like confused at this prospect. I do have to get it back.

It's going to be hard to get back. I'm never going to get it back. He's bought two games with my Nintendo account. Wait, like with your money? With my credit card. He sent me a DM. He's like, Aiden, I can never buy another Nintendo product again. I'm going to use your account.

That's so fucking funny. Wow. So he can circumvent supporting the company that he hates. That's not how that works I don't know Mango's right I asked him to like Play some game on the Switch

He needed to buy And he was like I won't buy Like a Nintendo game Because he's so against Nintendo The next week He's playing it And I'm like

How'd you get it He's like Oh I just ate his money That is so fucking funny Sure Yeah He has my controller My Switch

I haven't been able to- Our toaster's still, right? No, he gave the toaster back. He gave the toaster back. The problem is, to get the Switch back, we need to invite Mango over. What was that big ass thing? The globe. He stole a whole ass-

He stole a globe. The floor globe? Yeah. Yeah. He took the whole fucking- Have you not heard his story, how he stole it? No. Dude, he walked out Ludwig's back door and put it out there.

And when he left, ran back, got it, and then got in the Uber with it. He spun the block. Mango, every time he leaves his house, he comes over. He gets you two get fucking wasted. Just shit fight out. It's the only time Ludwig gets drunk anymore. And then wasted Mango takes a large object from our home. And then- Well, it's not that large or valuable. Wait, wait, no. Or he just stole Cutie's laptop charger. Large or valuable.

Wait, wait, no. Or he just stole Cutie's laptop charger, which is not large or valuable. It's just very inconvenient. Yeah, yeah. That means he was low on time and he grabbed the closest thing. That was the same day he grabbed the glove.

What the fuck? It took two days. Yeah, the problem is I need to invite Mango over to get your Switch, but I am scared to do that. Love my Switch. I'm scared to invite him over because of what else he'll take. No, no, he can steal what he wants.

We owe the goat. If we invite him over and he returns the Switch, he takes his Mac. Yeah, I know. He takes his controller. It's swipe season. It's blood for the blood god. I was in his chat.

I was like, so I'm going to need my Switch back soon. And he's just like, Ludwig will buy you a new one. Yeah, well, what I'll do actually is probably buy Mango one. There you go. And then give Mango that Switch. And then you get your old Switch. That's crazy because he could buy his own Switch and then be ours back. He doesn't want to support Nintendo.

That's crazy. What if he just gave you the money and you bought it? He will through various bets on Fridays. You buy me the new OLED Switch. Do you want that? Do you care about

your old Switch? I want the data on it. I think I want the Steam Deck. That's what it's called, right? Yeah. The new Steam handheld. That thing looks cool.

Is this just sitting on Ludwig Santa's lap asking for presents? I think I just want Christmas. Sit down, boys. Yeah, I'll get you the new OLED. We'll transfer. I like that idea.

Alright. Hey, look at the... And this is what the yard's about. Mending fences. And I'm putting the $200 I owe you at the beginning towards that purchase. Look at that. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba. Woo! I did want to bring up one thing. So, you do bros versus pros a lot.

I wanted to pitch you one. Yeah, I've read just now what it says, but I would like to hear the pitch first before I spoil. So it's bros versus pros. James Dean. Yeah, that's what I read. It didn't make sense. Do you know who that is?

Well, he's a famous actor who famously starred in three Hollywood movies before dying in a car wreck. No, you misread. James Dean, D-E-E-N. He's a male porn star. It's James Dean. Bros versus pros. He's a male porn star. It's James Dean. Bros versus pros? It's bros versus pros. Who can get Eamon to squirt fastest?

Okay. And all three of us are able to go? Yeah. It's you, a truck, and Stan's all trying to get... At the same time. Like you did with like... Can I propose an amendment? James Dean, I think is cancelled Really?

Yeah I think The porn star? Him and Ron Jeremy Both had assaulted women In the porn industry No Yeah they're both Okay

Johnny Sins Johnny Sins is clear Okay So it's Bros vs Pros Johnny Sins Yeah And he can make Aiman squirt

In probably like 10-12 seconds tops Yeah and so We three have to do it You three You, Atriok and Stans Have to Combined efforts Suck and fuck Right seconds tops. Yeah, and so we three have to do it. You three, you, Atrioc, and Stanz have to combine efforts, suck

and fuck your hearts out to beat the pro. Atrioc's like, well, I'm the squirt god. I know I get to squirt out. You know I do that. Come on, baby. Stanz is like, we all know I'm the squirt god. No, Atrioc, I'm the squirt guy. I'm the one who made Eamon squirt before by accident.

Instead of saying squirt guy, they go, I'm a squirting Samuel. Yeah, oh my god. I've been a squirting Samuel since 95. I'm a fucking squirting Samuel. I'm squirting. We're going to make him squirt. We're going to make him squirt. Boys.

You guys are the morning zoo of gamers. I have so many icks right now. That's a, you know what? It's a great idea. Hey. There's another party who needs to consent to this that's why i'm vice president will you would you consent to this no this is part of your employment at mogul uh moves by the way yeah is that your obligation to do now we're getting into hr territory and who's hr let

me talk to hr real quick you're in welcome to squirtville. Population, you. Kidding, Eamon. You will never have to do anything against your will ever at Mogul Moves. Except for squirting. After that, you are good. Like a grapefruit, brother. What is this, Eamon? You wrote, alright man's secret message.

What is that? For those who are not initiated, I am the alright man. For those all right for those uninitiated we were talking about amen being a pokemon going amen gaming but you're a pokemon because you walk around you're the real pokemon yeah we've said this on the pod before but what is its secret message yeah so you uh you called me today my phone was away from me and uh you know normally normally when i get a phone call from one of you it means something important is happening like whenever one of you guys call me it's definitely in the context of like something important right did you miss an exit or yeah that's what happened from on my way from the fucking coffee shop missed my exit i relate to

this by the way because ludwig called me out but we me at like 1 a.m. the other night when I wasn't home. And I instantly answer him. I'm like, what's up? Everything okay? And what did you want? You were like, oh, you were like, how do I load my camera's film? And I'm like, dude, you don't ever call me. This is what you want.

Well, you weren't home. I know. You weren't home. It's 1 a.m. You should have been home instead. What do you think a picture of? You should have been home. A film camera at night at home anyway he called card reader he called you and you weren't near your phone yeah and uh that not only did he call me once but he he he left

several missed calls one of which was like a facetime like video thing so i'm assuming that one was the accident the facetime i'm assuming assuming there's some kind of emergency, right? And I look, he also left me a voicemail. Weird. So people only leave, I get two types of voicemails. Important message, grandmother who doesn't understand that no one listens to voicemails. And I look, you know how Apple will give you a transcription of the voicemail,

and it says, I don't know says i don't know i don't know missed our ride what and i'm like holy shit like this is something happened yeah and i and i that's just that's like the reenactment's like i don't know i don't know we missed our ride and then it like cuts out like that's a crazy shit like maybe i gotta go pick him up maybe i gotta go bail him out did you listen to it call call him no i just called him back immediately immediately yeah and he picks up and he's like yeah all right man and i'm and i say yeah what's what's going on you called me like two times and he's like oh nothing just all right man wanted to call you, all right, man, wanted to call you, man. All right. You're a sim.

That's what you're the sims. And then I play the voicemail back, and it is just him saying, all right, man. Play it. Play it into the mic. Hold on. All right. and then alright alright that's the whole voicemail you're a character in an Adam Sandler movie

so Apple turned six alright mains into I don't know I don't know missed our ride which makes Apple racist. That's fucking crazy. No, no, no. Here's why.

I'll explain. Which means that this feature doesn't work for Eastern Europeans at all. Yeah. They are disadvantaged. Yeah. I will pull back the curtain. Basically, I needed Eamon to be available to go get your car because it was elsewhere. Yeah.

And so I was going to be like, hey, are you home? Are you up and i just called you to see and then the second time i was like oh i'll leave a message because it's funny and then i accidentally facetimed and ended it that's all but yeah but i didn't need something it was like it was just like this set of weird coincidental circumstances that made it look intensely important that i call you back and then that was the that was the light at the end of the and then you know what's funny is he calls me back and i pick up and i'm saying all right all right and it like i'm at home now and i realize he's he's home i thought he was gone because his car's gone because you took it so that's why i

was confused i was like where is amon but he turned out to be home in his room and i hear him from upstairs i'm like oh he's here and i'm like talking to him like all right there's nothing all right and then he walks downstairs and then I pop out of the side and go all right yeah and I freaked the shit out of him because he thought I was gone that's like the evolution noise when you go from Pikachu to Raichu yeah that was my Raichu yeah and then Cutie came downstairs and she was like I just heard someone yell and I was like yeah he just he just scared the shit out of me yeah and that was our day and that's what happens in the day in the life of a Yard cast member. That's, yeah.

The day in the life of a Yard. Hey, do that for a stream. Day in the life of you guys. Day in the life. Hey, what's up, guys? I want to show you my life in the day of it. Yeah. 10 out of 10.

I think it'd be great. Honestly, I would love to watch a slime day in the life video. Really? If you want to film one and record it and put it on your little YouTube channel. Oh you on mine. Yeah, I put on yours put a GoPro on your head, and I'll react to it But I might leak his social security number. Yeah, I just look at the computer He ran a new bit at Jimmy John's whoa This was a good bit It's actually pretty funny because this he has run bits with this cashier before.

Wait, is this a cashier who knows you guys? I don't think she realized. No. Because I went to that Jimmy John's and that cashier recognized me. No, not that guy. I know who you're talking about. No, it was a girl. Oh, really?

Uh-huh. I feel like it might have been a different girl. I haven't met this person before, I don't think. Sure. We have met this person together before. I trust Eamon more than you. So it's even funnier that she didn't recognize you and you also didn't recognize her because you just had a blank slate for running what'd you do anything to anyone standing i'm standing next to anthony

just like this you know because he's gonna he's gonna pay for all these sandwiches we're picking up because we're gonna get a bunch of food for people at a at a shoot yep and uh he's like ordering the food listing everything off and uh he's like uh mid-order i i've got my i've got my nine-year-old son with me today no no no so i'm ordering it i'm being very professional because it's like it's a big order they're swamped and i'm trying to be very clear and concise and i'm being like very professional and uh so that that in contrast is like so amy's just standing there like a hulking thin idiot and i and and i finished my order and she's like ringing it up i'm like this is my son and she's like what yeah of course she's like what and i'm like of course she and i'm like

this is my boy he's nine and then he she's like she's like no and then she's like really yeah because she's so and and then leave her alone she looks at me and i'm just standing there like a wide-eyed i'm like trying to like roll with it she and she's like you're not nine i am she's like you said i am yeah that was crazy yeah you went too far no road dog she wrote she believed, that was crazy. Yeah. You went too far. No, road dog. Road dog. She believed it. That was the crazy part. She believed it. No, that was fine.

That was better than going like, I nine. And you see the gears turning in her head, and she just looks. No, I continued the bit, because I was like, yeah, he's got some bone disease. We're worried about it. She only knows Jimmy John's sandwiches. And she's like,'s nine nine nine order number nine and then she looks she she's listening to him explain and she looks back at me and she's like no you're not yeah and then she pieces it together and then that's crazy i start to walk away to like

go sit and wait for the food and and he's like don't go too far, kiddo. Yeah, that was funny. He lands in. He's a great kid. I do. I do. I feel bad. Love the death. His mother wants him to play baseball, and I'm just not for that. And his bones are too weak and tall and frail.

To your credit, I think this was, in the moment, this was the perfect example of one of your bits that made nobody's day worse. Dude, most of them don't. You guys are like I'm some day worse dude like most of them don't you guys are like i'm some sort of terror most okay you're insane i will fight against this no that's stupid i just thought it was too far when he called 9-1-1 after and then put them on speaker and said please that one that one was too far no it wasn't even though that it was funny. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just the modern day Norman McDonald. Rest in peace.

Yeah. I don't know. I often I don't think I'm a terror like you guys think because I have worked in service and retail and I'm like,

I get it. I don't think I'm a terror like all my friends think. It's my friends that are wrong. She took this bit wonderfully well. So it made me my job is always to make them laugh

like people that I'm talking to I'm never trying to like fuck with somebody I'm trying to like let them in on something that is like concise and quick and maybe funny and then I get out of there I never waste anyone's time so we have a coffee shop that we all like going to and we're very friendly with the people who work there

we know a lot of them on first name basis and i ran into one of the employees of that coffee shop elsewhere in my day-to-day life and uh i like we instantly like recognized each other whenever we're talking to her and she the first thing that she said to me she was like do you want to see a fish i caught and the only things i have ever spoken to her about are my coffee order and small talk. I've never had a normal conversation with a person. So I was like, what? She's like, I'll show you. And then she pulls out her phone, and she caught a fish.

I'm not exaggerating. Ludwig's height. She caught a fish Ludwig's height and mass. And I was like, holy shit. And she's like, check this out. Then swipes right. She caught nine of them. And she's like, I was fishing.

You want to know something fucked up? We went to the coffee shop not long after that. And then she goes, I ran into Nick at the other day. And I was like, yeah, is that right? She's like, yeah, I showed her the fish I caught. No way. No fucking way. And then she showed us the fish eye cut. No way. No fucking way. And then she showed us the fish.

So you guys have seen the fish? I've seen the fish. Because the follow up, I was like, that's a tuna, right? She's like, yeah, that's a bluefin tuna. She whipped out the photo and I was like, I literally said, damn, Nick was right. That is so fucking bizarre. She was just walking around town

trying to show people this fish she cut. I find her so much cooler now. Yeah, exactly. Because that's the thing. It's like if she had said that and it was just like a normal dinky fucking fish. No. I would have been like, oh. Fuck that.

Fuck you. Fuck your shitty red snapper. That fish is so fucking big. Tuna. We should take a picture with Aiden at the lake where we're holding him like a fish. Like through the mouth? Like through the mouth and he's naked. He's like a picture with Aiden at the lake where we're holding him like a fish. Like through the mouth? Through the mouth and he's naked. He's like a fish and we make it one of the postcards.

You can hold me upside down by my ankles. Yeah. And you make a fish face. Dude, the new postcard is atrocious. I love it. It's great. You can't spoil it. We got to wait for it.

You guys will love the postcard. Let's just say it's Halloween themed. Yeah. No, it's not. It is. It is. It is. Literally.

I disagree. It totally is. We're sending every- I would say it's New Year's Day themed. What? Every tier- What the fuck are you- What? He didn't look at it.

Hey, if you want to see how wrong Ludwig is, subscribe to the Patreon. Every tier three patron will be receiving a postcard and a gaming pickaxe from- The gaming pickaxe is not endorsed by the Jardim Co. Wait. Live, are you willing to sign up for the Scooby-Doo Halloween theme? Oh, yeah. We want you to be Velma. I thought I would do it.

You're Velma. I'll be Velma. Okay. Who am I again? Am I Scoob? I think you're Scooby. Are you Shag? No.

Eamon's Shaggy. He's Fred. That's good. He's Fred. I'm Fred. He's Fred. He's Fred. You're Scooby-D Eamon's shaggy. He's Fred. That's good. He's Fred. I'm Fred. He's Fred. He's Fred. You're Scooby-Doo.

He's shaggy. He's shaggy. He can't be shaggy. He's shaggy. There's no shaggy. I'm tall. Dude, he's the tall, lanky guy. I'm tall.

You should be Scooby. Tall, skinny, and I smoke hella weed. No, you don't smoke. You don't smoke pee. You were a dog before. You were a dog before. You were the dog before. And when he had weed that one time, he just laughed for 45 minutes straight.

You're the Christmas boy. The only shaggy thing about you is that you eat huge sandwiches like a freak. True. Yeah, you're also the same. Dude, you're more dog-like. No, he is not more dog-like. You are the dog in the photo. You are the dog in the family photo.

We literally just played audio clips of you going, Alright, man. Alright, man. You're a walking dog, bro. I'm fine with being the dog, but I just contest that he is no Shaggy. He's Shaggy. He's Shaggy. He's a bad Shaggy.

No, he's a fine Shaggy. Can you do a Shaggy impression right now? Give me a zoinks. Come on. Scoob! Zoinks! That is... Kind of...

Zoinks is just in the Scooby-Doo universe. Yeah, it's kind of their thing. It's kind of their word. and it wasn't good zoinks is just in the scooby-doo universe yeah it's kind of their thing it's kind of their word do you not know what zoinks is yes zoinks is not does he say oh gee scoob

I'm chief of the time they all say it they all say it don't they I always associated zoinks with Velma oh scoob Velma says jinkies you fucking moron

oh you're so right oh gee scoob they just hit the tower you're so right oh scoob they just hit the tower Scoob you're so right oh Scoob tower seven's falling Jesus Scoob

Scoob like they just hit the pentagon man I think Bush knew about it Roro jet fuel can't melt steel beams Raggy I can't believe you didn't know. Yeah, whatever.

No, I just forgot. Yeah, you fell into the roller shagging. I have watched every episode of the original series of that show probably three times. Don't say that out loud. I mean, I have to. It was my favorite show. It was my favorite show when I was a little kid. I played knockoff Beatles songs.

It was great. Yeah. Seven days a week. Is that true? Yeah, well, kind of. I've been dreaming. They played like Garage. Yeah. All right. Well, I of. They played like Garage.

All right. Well, I think it's about the full pot here, gentlemen. It's about time to be about time. It's about time to start packing up, and we'll keep saying hi to you Patreon members. Yeah, you made it this far. We would love your support on the Patreon if you want to keep listening. We're about to do a premium episode. But if you're not breaded and wedded, that's okay, too. Hopefully your girlfriend or fiance enjoyed this episode.

And boys and girls. And hopefully she'll join the Patreon. We'll see you next week. Whoever the breadwinner of is the house, just have them sign up. And then you'll have the content now. Five head. See you in the bonus episode. Smash the bell.

Please smash the bell. And with that, I'm. Wait, but what are you going to talk about in the bonus episode? Didn't you tell me. Dude, yeah. it ready yeah so this weekend I put an entire what loaf of bread Oh into what my what