The Yard - Ep. 120 - HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (2023)

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

This week, things get a little Spooky! The boys talk about the stories behind their costumes, the result of the MxS & sentinels showmatch, and how the business shark is handing out loans... 00:00:40 - welcome back to the yard! 00:01:29 - our scary costumes 00:02:04 - nicks costume 00:02:40 - ludwigs costume 00:03:29 - aidens costume 00:06:25 - how can you tell skeletons apart  00:07:08 - the business shark sells some CCO's 00:08:59 - shake's costume 00:10:21 - slime said goodbye 00:12:03 - ludwigs other costume... 00:13:31 - ludwig stan posts 00:14:08 - AntiPiker 00:15:42 - mr beast & rosanna drama 00:20:45 - ludwig lied about being sued 00:22:18 - nick has an urge 00:23:59 - twitter bots 00:25:49 - slime is mad at ludwig for another thing 00:29:07 - the MxS & Sentinels showmatch 00:30:42 - Yard Dollars™ 00:31:05 - cigarettes 00:33:39 - the business shark eats some chum  00:34:48 - yans costume 00:35:38 - going through yardigan costumes on the patreon episode! 00:35:44 - slime describes his dream 00:37:42 - evil ludwig was in QT's dreams 00:39:56 - ludwigs candy tier list 00:41:16 - the boys say their favourite candy  00:43:30 - slime wasn't invited to the party 00:44:40 - Manscaped! 00:47:39 - nick orders some candy food 00:49:45 - slime coach got invited to the party 00:51:19 - slime thinks he could sleep stanz 00:53:42 - hugs costume 00:57:14 - DnD updates 01:00:50 - shark scales 01:02:00 - beastiality quiz 01:04:57 - nick asked yardigans for help for his costume 01:07:38 - 'you can say no?'  01:10:34 - nicks most LA moment 01:12:33 - the craziest lineup for a twitch podcast 01:17:20 - book club update! 01:20:00 - mr beast has started blowing people up 01:24:46 - aiden got really mad at slime 01:25:56 - no DnD leaks.. 01:28:51 - thanks for watching

he's been in this costume for like an hour it hasn't said anything for like an hour and hasn't said anything. Anthony? Have you... Wait, I'm not kidding. He hasn't said anything for like an hour. Look, I would cut him out, but I... My hands are

full. I gotta juke you for this. Wait, he's deflating. Cut me out! Lovey, there's a knife! Lovey, there's a knife! No, it's not where the knife is! There's a knife next to you!

Cut me out! Oh my god, it's a razor blade. Oh my god, oh my god Jesus Christ, did you freak out into the microphone? It is a podcast Wow Whoa It is a podcast, isn't it? Wow! Whoa! Look at everyone's costumes! We're all here, and it's Halloween, and we're all scary.

Everyone's a scary guy. I saw death. I saw my ego fly away as a bird. In space? A swan. Because you vented? No, I had a near-death experience just now. This isn't about venting or the credit card minigame.

Ah, he almost got killed by the imposter. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Hey, emergency meeting. Show the fuck about your costume. Yours is cool. Yo, what's up? What do you think I am?

Cool. Yo, what's up? What do you think I am? If I had to guess, you are the average ASU student who drops out. That's the difference. I'm no average ASU student. Are you Brazilian? You're never the average. Why did you roll your eyes?

Are you jealous? Back from the dead, bro. Yeah. I'm not. I find it really cool that you got your costume idea from our subreddit. That's dope. What? No, I didn costume idea from our subreddit. That's dope What? No I didn't

From our subreddit? No I didn't I just thought of it the first day He thought of it Oh they love president They love president Dude act like you look at the yard subreddit for two fucking seconds of your life Oh and they don't love a mogus

They don't mention it Or Naruto Which IP is bigger? Wait no he's Are you Steve Urkel Naruto? I am Naruto if you never became the Hokage and instead stayed in school. Wow. Yeah.

And I have a phenomenal, I have a phenomenal understanding of physics. Wow. What do you study? I, I study physics. Okay. I don't really touch the Jutsu stuff. Right. It's not for me.

What, how do you feel about the humanities? I love the humanities. I love the arts. You do? I just think we should make the village better. We do too much ninja stuff. Right. Okay.

You know, let's go back to building roads. You're cut. Or maybe like water infrastructure. I just think a larger... Who's going to build them? A larger police force would help. Oh. We need a police state.

The ninja are out of control. So you're a nationalist Naruto. Neo-liberal Naruto. I think that Aiden Leaf is the greatest villain. And Aiden is a fish. This is a repeat. Is it? No, it's not. What are you talking about? I feel like you've been a shark before.

Well, I guess you're a little different. Because you went to school. I'm a business shark. Much like you. Much like your character, he got a degree. I went to business shark. Much like you. Much like your character. He got a degree. Yeah. I went to business school. Business college.

Business school? Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to shake hands with you. Business shark. Pleasure to meet you. Why? Because you went to business school. Great to meet you.

Business school? Bro, we have class together? All the STEM majors. All the STEM majors. I promise you, he's a business major. You have an undergrad in physics. Yes. That is pathetic.

No. You're not even working on your master's? No, because I didn't need to. Because, honestly, having a bachelor's in the Hidden Leaf Village is way above our pay grade. Oh, so you just shoot for the middle of the sky, not the stars. Most people quit when they're like 10. They have a D3 football team. They go straight to ninja shit, and they all give up on the maths.

What's the college called? Chunin exams. ninja shit and they all give up on on the maths what's the college called uh tuning exams i hate that he made an anime costume what happened to your wait you're an anime costume no this is not an anime i had well i had i had another costume it was jesus christ but i felt weird riding down my motorcycle as jesus of mazareth that would have been... What? That would have been big for people. I didn't want to do it.

You just missed out on your most epic moment of your whole life. I just felt like that would be the tape that God plays back to me in the pearly gates when he doesn't let me in. You think my son's fucking funny? Yeah. He also... He's a fucking joke. If you were immolated in a ball of fire like Tony Starr, that also would have been very ironic. Yeah.

Yeah, it would have been. Yeah, you're fucked. You are fucked. He has Edward Forty hands on right now. There you go. I was born with these on. So you poured two out. Did anyone drink the other one?

No, I offered the whole office to drink these, and they were like, nah. Ryan didn't want to kill a 40 in midday. Wow, that is crazy. Midday, you go to the work office and you say, hey, you want to kill this? What am I supposed to do, huh? Do it at home? Drive to Mango's house. I'm an alcoholic.

I can't keep him near it. You drive to Mango's house. Clean. Mango drives to my house. 30 minutes. Glug, glug, glug. Drives home. Drives back fast as he can.

Yeah, fast as he can. We take one of these to the gas pedal you know what you do is you tell zipper to here you go here you go if you're trying to fucking shine you like Halloween so much you like like oh you like Halloween drink these 40s 80s these fucking drink this one similar 80 prove your love of me and Halloween to me oh it's's funny is it? Oh, OH! If you're an audio listener by the way we should probably go through this Nick is dressed as Breslin with two malt liquor 40 ounce

bottles taped to his hands very aggressively Someone taped that for you surely right? No I didn't. Oh they're gloves. Yeah I got that, that makes sense. Smart. Do you think it's weird to dress up as your dead friend for Halloween? Your real dead friend? No, but I wouldn't want it this way. You know what the thing is?

I thought of this. It's like we all dress up as skeletons anyways. We're dead friends, right? So this is no different. No, Hitler had a skeleton. True. How can you differentiate the skeletons? Because of his Aryan forebrow.

Skeleton and then like a hat says not Hitler. Every skeleton costume at the party Says not Hitler except one It just says nothing I like leaving it open Yeah you're just like What skeleton Or you just show up as a skeleton And be like that's kind of a lame costume

And be like no I'm Hitler's skeleton And everyone's like no You gotta go so is this on so this is like a pun you're a pun no i'm i'm just a character it's a concept it's a shark who does you wear this last night no because a business shark is like a term you so you took it out on the town you tested it i took it out what was the reception yeah we i mean every person we get into some deals. We'd talk shop.

We came up with the collateralized chum obligation. He's had too much time to think about it. No, no. I like it. You, because I know what you're thinking. Stinky, gross chum. I was thinking that. Because you, I was thinking about you because you lose your money everywhere.

You get scammed every other week You need to hold your money in a safe investment. Yeah, my Stinky gross buckets of fish which is not valuable that deteriorates, but you he's been going down But you as an outdoorsman as out of the three people here you look like an outdoorsman He's good at this. A massive fish, a massive fresh fish. You love that, right? I didn't catch it natural. We cut that up.

We cut that up. You mix it in with the chum. Now you got a primo triple A bucket of chum. Okay. So all the chum becomes more valuable because of my chum. All of it becomes more valuable because no one was going to buy the triple B stinky bucket of chum. When they're grading my chum, they're going to incorporate your bad chum. We got rid of, there's only one shark great

If they don't you know give it was Selena Gomez at this party who's at this party well confusing shark Gomez Shark Gomez. Here's Adolf Hitler's skeleton to explain chum CEOs. King Drizzle was also there. Excuse me, Shark. Are there fish heads in the chum? Yes, there are fish heads. Fish heads. Thank you. Prime fish head.

I got it. Shake dressed up as Dracula for Halloween. That was Dracula? That's what I'm saying. Dracula. He DMs me and he goes, dude, no That's what I'm saying. Dracula. He DMs me and he goes, dude, no one's seen Dracula flow at this party. He's just normal vampire. And I'm like, dude, you're just Dracula.

You're just Dracula. Dracula, the guy has a painted on hairline. Oh, wait, can you look up Lelouch? Because that's what I thought he was. Yeah, this is another anime thing. God, you're really going down a bad road. Well, I know not only physics, but taijutsu, so shut up. Jesus.

Yeah, okay. I thought he was Lelouch. Yeah, he looks like your friend that you beat off to. I don't know. I don't beat off to Lelouch. Do you have a figure of this guy? Do you beat off to Lelouch? No, not a lot.

No. I was talking to Shake, and he's like, Yan just bagged the baddest girl at this party, bro. He's talking her up, bro. And I'm like, damn, Burger Yan got game. And then he sends me a picture of himself. He says, you ain't never seen 10 bands in your life, Jit. And I'm like, what?

Wait, it's from Dracula Flow. This is not the conversation we were having. Is that a slur? Wait, no. Because it sounds like one. It means kid, basically. We were talking about this last time, too, and we were like, Jit doesn't sound good.

I don't like, it's a hard time. For audio listeners, this is Shake Drizzle posing in every 360 pose you can with Mike Wazowski. He's like a rotated blender model. They're doing the cha-cha slide. They're doing mo-cats. They were doing the synchronized dance last night, him and Mike Wazowski. By the way, on the subject of you in a fiery crash, blowing up as Jesus Christ, our Savior, Lord of Light.

Great. Christ is love. I was working out the other day. I came in on the tail end of Shake and Ludwig's workout, which two things. I never see him anymore, so it's like it's sad, yeah. So if he blows up in an accident, it's like

I don't know if it hurts that much anymore. Right. But also... Because you only do see him twice a week. No's sad, yeah. So if he blows up in an accident, it's like, I don't know if it hurts that much anymore. Right. But also. Because you only do see him twice a week. No, no, no. No, for real, though. I'm coming in the tail end. I'm jump roping.

And I'm like, jump roping really hard. And Ludwig's like, okay, bye, everyone. And I hear Ludwig say bye. And I'm like, oh, I'm just jump roping. And I realized he's getting on his motorcycle. And this might be the last time i see him so i made sure to stop and said bye dubbin he did take a pause you remember that's why you took a pause you i thought it was just because you couldn't talk while jump roping well i didn't

want to really but i made sure to stop because i was like this might be the last time i see him and i just have to i would i would. Yeah. If I didn't know that. If I died in a fiery motorcycle wreck. I acknowledged that I love him. And worse than, worse than dying, he came back as cosplay. Oh, anime cosplay. Yeah, so. Jesus.

That's tough. This, this is cool. What happened to the fucking Travis Kelsey? I'm going to be that for Halloween. Okay. I'm not trying to double dip. Everyone's got, everyone's got three costumes. Everyone knows that. I do have three.

This is, well, this is technically a bit of a double dip because I wore a Naruto costume for my candy tasting, but I added the nerd part. Candy tasting. I tried all the Halloween candy. Oh, for video. Yes.

I thought it was like a thing. If you got one costume, it's kind of a self narc that you only go to one party every year. Or it just means that you, you know, you use the same costume. Yeah,

but it's bad. I was a chair last night. Really? A chair. Like, did you like find a costume that makes you a chair? Or were you saying, hey ladies, take a seat. Take a seat. Yeah.

Coincidentally, also Yan's line last night. Yeah. Yan the munch. No, she pulled up Cutie's Twitter. So I'm supposed to be Travis Kelsey for Halloween. She had another Taylor Swift concert. Vigilante shit. line that's not yeah was he in the munchies no you pull up QD's twitter so I was I'm supposed to be Travis Kelsey for Halloween

she had another Taylor Swift concert vigilante shit I don't know what that meant Jesus Christ it's one of the eras Taylor Swift's hot right now she's so hot right now

she's so hot right now and apparently she does a dance on a chair and QD's like I'm gonna get you a chair costume I'm like killer

love this this is very funny bro yeah and then we're about to leave I was like where's the costume she's like oh I

door dash it and then I look outside it's just a metal chair and she's like oh my god this is so funny actually so I'm just holding a chair wearing all black this is a great picture and I just I had to hold the chair for like 30 minutes till we got our pick so I'm just walking around with a chair

do I have bad news it's kind of tight at a party cause you're just like anywhere I pop a squat I'm just walking around with a chair. Dude, I have bad news. It's kind of tight at a party because you're just like anywhere. I pop a squat. I'm the chair from Taylor Swift. Yo. The reality is I was just holding it in front of me

and I was like, why do you have the chair? I would think you're a WWE guy. That's what most people thought. Yeah. But then Taylor Swift was next to me, so I don't think

she's done that yet. Bad news, you look great in that picture with your mustache. Right? Yeah. That was pretty good. You look good. I that picture with your mustache. Right? Yeah. That was pretty good. You look good.

I hate- Fuck your handsome. You know what I hate? You know what I fucking hate about Lubbin? Is I wake up and I've got fucking Lubbin Stan posts on my timeline. Like, algorithmically fed to me. Yeah. It's like hot pictures of Ludwig that people are sharing.

Meanwhile, he didn't hit us on Twitter. Wait, where are these? I want to watch them. It's fucking the Hassan's Twitter person. Oh. TWT. Is it the one that I hate? No, it's you all, it's you, you're like, I hate. You're like, fuck, aw man, did I just come for you? Aw, whoops. Yo, that load

was for you. That was a load for you? There was so much extra for others though. Oh, back to the fruit game now. You could share that load. You're greedy, aren't you? That's okay. I won't tell anyone. You're my greedy little load taker. I hate anti-Piker. Yeah, that's like a nefarious thing. Somewhat wrongfully. Why?

Because I blame them for posting my balls on Twitter, but it wasn't them, and it's been proven to me it's not them. But I still need a martyr. I think they wouldn't. I think you could blame Stan accounts free of charge. Yeah. No evidence required. No burden of proof. I've attacked anti-Piker specifically. I've need a martyr. Also, they wouldn't. I think you can blame Stan accounts free of charge. Yeah. No evidence required. No burden of proof.

I've attacked AntiPiker specifically. I've come for you. You are my martyr. Unless you find the actual criminal, you will forever be the martyr. Also, those accounts aren't above posting ball sack. Oh, no. Is it a crime to post your balls? To post nut?

Someone else's nut? No, your balls. Just mine not specifically? If I took a picture of your balls to post nut someone else's nut no your your balls just mine not specifically if I took a picture of your balls right now right if you if you took off

your physics pants and I took a photo of your balls and I posted it on Twitter is that illegal I think you are committing the crime is that a crime

it's a consensual picture well no because that would be revenge porn law that is revenge porn law yeah that would be illegal this is not illegal because I filmed a podcast

that I permitted to be released somewhat publicly behind a paywall. So that's not illegal, but you would be revenge porning me and I would kill you. Here's the thing.

If you get a hold of a picture of Mr. Beast's balls and then you post them, you're going down for good. You're going down. The tweet's coming down. Do you see what he did to Rosanna? Yeah, that was kind of tight. She can't talk anymore. She was like guys I won hide-and-seek, but he didn't show it and the next week

She's like, I'm sorry. I actually love Mr. Beast. I love Mr. Beast. I'm gonna hide for the rest of my life. I'm gonna hide out of love for him so much now. It was a weird call-out. Wait, her call- out was weird yeah discuss base lads of the group are women going crazy again an alpha male has the full moon in Halloween made him crazy yeah I know I go they fucking freaking out I didn't tell us more about nuts. Let's give some context. Let's give some context.

Roseanne Barr. Yes. Roseanna Dario. She's a very famous YouTuber. I know her from Try Guys, but she was on TV and shit. I think she's got a cookbook. Very, very big YouTuber.

Been there for like a decade plus. Oh, yeah. She was in Shark Business School. She came up with the CEOs. You and Ken Chen, the blue apron Ken Chen. This is one of those really funny controversies to try to tell one of your friends who's like not in this space, like, okay, she was in sharp business school. She came up with this you know Ken Chen the blue I'm Ken Chen really funny Controversies to try to tell one of your friends who's like not in this space like okay get this so this girl was playing hide-and-seek

No, no for money for money And she gets third I feel like you're under selling because a lot of people under sell it kind of cheap in it But what happened is Mr. Beast made a creator video and then skewed the results of the video when he released it in the editing room. Allegedly. Very not allegedly. Allegedly.

Must have Donaldson Lawyership Incorporated say allegedly. I think factually... Mr. Beast Lawyer, you don't have to admit that until it's proven. ...could have recorded the facts. And Rosanna Paisano... Paisano. Paisano....spoke out spoke out about it weirdly two years later a little weirdly two years ago two years ago oh uh and uh and it's and it's it's verified in a way because quackity

also spoke about this on a stream but like in a spanish-speaking stream and then like somewhat casually we're also trying to translate it. But because of that, it kind of like went under the radar and she was a little more public about it. She's basically like, Hey, I got third place in the contest. I was actually just put in for like 10 seconds written off as fifth place.

That's kind of BS. What's up with that? Mr. Beast. And that was the premise publicly. Yes. My, What's up with that, Mr. Beast? Publicly. And that was the premise. Publicly, yes. My thing with the post was she framed it in a way that it made it sound like she got edited out because she was a woman. And then I went to go look at his most recent influencer tournament video and Bella Porch wins it.

And I was like. Was the fix in for that too? The fix is in for that. Yeah, maybe. it and i was like was the fix in for that too the fix for that yeah maybe the idea i think i think she's just mad that she went to a tournament and they just it's like scar at genesis i think there's three yeah isn't it there's three things going on one is there there are haters of mr beast that are bandwagoning her right like that are on her side because they're looking for any reason they'll take it i've seen so many of the memes that it's like finally a her. Right? Like that are on her side. Because they're looking for any reason. They'll take it.

I've seen so many of the memes that it's like finally a reason to hate the person that I really hate. Dude, if she wakes up tomorrow there's a circle around her house. Oh, fuck I get here for. First sleeve gets shot in the head.

I think there's haters and Mr. Beast bandwagoning her which is kind of blowing more smoke in it. Two, he's Mr. fucking Beast, so every goddamn medial reported on this, like it was... It's hot.

Mr. Beast of the Taylor Swift YouTube. It was more reported on than Matthew Perry's death. He just died. I know, but I still think there are more impressions. That's how you're going to go out, by the way. What? Drowning? In your little ass car. In your cold tub. Why? Because you're going to go out, by the way. What? And you're drowning? Drowning in your cold tub. Why?

I don't want to go out. Because you're going to get in a motorcycle accident first. And you're going to fly into your cold tub. I'm going to start self-emulating in my motorcycle accident. They're going to put me in a bathtub. And then they won't know I don't know how to swim. And it's much like a glass cup in the sink that's too hot. You will shatter instantly.

Well, I hope I don't go like that. Rest in peace, Matthew Perry. Anyway, then it was a very big deal because mr beast but then three i think a lot of people just weren't giving her credit like a lot of people i think are writing her off immediately but she's a very respected youtuber sure very respected like is her is her size of her channel big enough to warrant like the argument that he just picked bigger youtubers to win bad or is she small enough in comparison where potentially he just picked bigger youtubers for a more interesting narrative i think i don't think the winners were like logan paul and shit right yeah i don't think he necessarily picked based off of like i don't know i'm fucking

hypothesizing i don't think he would pick just off numbers alone it'd probably be like what's a more interesting story oh my god she's huge she's very big she's very big although I don't think you would pick just off numbers alone. It'd probably be like what's a more interesting story. Oh my god She's huge. She's very big. She's very big. Although I don't think her videos do as well now. She runs you. So like the Mr. Beast anti-women argument gets stronger. If you well if you look at her videos now they don't do as well Okay, we weren't gonna talk about it. She runs you. You just like had to bring that up cuz But she's also kind of mainstream famous like she's been on fucking Kelly Clarkson show She had like a she was on the Cooking Channel Network. Dude, YouTube is so fucking gross. I'm so back to the old ass meme, bro.

It's such a fucking dumb system where you don't try to fucking actually make the people that like you already happy. You're just trying to hit the algorithm and hit fucking Normie City USA. And it's so gross. Yeah. Fuck you, Ludwig.

You didn't get sued by Nintendo. You fucking lied. Well, okay. You fucking lied. Yeah, but then in the first ten seconds I said it happened. No, you said I didn't get sued. You keep saying it. Yeah, but then I say what happened. I say what the thing was. You just- You can't do that.

Why not? Because it's fucking lying, bro. Presley's trying to reconvene. I would call an exaggeration to draw people in. It's not even an exaggeration, it is an exaggeration. Did you guys ever hear Wyatt Iverson during a fucking blowjob? Damn. It's like he's back with us again. This is so beautiful. You got tilted?

I got tilted at that Not actually Well I did kind of get tilted I was like This is the one thing you shouldn't worry about What would you have titled it? I just titled it Something closer to the truth

Give me the title When I said directly to Josh There are so many things off the English language We can pull off the bookshelf Give me one Nintendo threatened legal action against me Okay Oh

That's pretty That's good Nintendo threatened legal action against me. Okay. Oh, well, that's pretty hot spray. I had a good Nintendo threatened legal action against me Yeah, but what Ludwig's thinking right now is like, oh would like a guy with an eighth grade education Would he what do you want to click on that? Fucking idiots, bro. It's so fucking gross dude picture late All those capitulate. It's like explain. Nintendo threatened to bring the mids.

Dude. Nintendo brought dirt swag. And we have to smoke it because there's nothing else. Dude, I don't know. Look, as the straight edge guy in the room, I've never done Edward Forty hands before. And this isn't the real experience. It's so hard. I got the gloves on.

But I have just the most silly neurodivergent urge to slam them together. Oh, yeah? I want to do that so bad. You have glasses on. You could do it. I also have gloves on. Yeah, you could do it.

But then the glass pieces will be stuck in our grass for the rest of time. It'd be really bad. Oh, yeah. It'd be awful. Oh, my God. I want to do it.

It's pretty hard, too, though. It takes a lot of power. Don't tell me it's hard. I feel competitive about it. Glass is scary. You ever just clean up glass? You probably don't have enough power to do it either. We just made a thing, and now we fear it. Ooh, that's getting in your throat. Oh yeah, this video's funny. It's a guy-

It's like this kid at this pool party, I think it's his mom filming. He goes to the pool and just smashes two beer bottles together. And they just yell at him what was that? I rewatched the video of Nangs the Australian smash player doing the ashy at a bar yeah it just dumps the beer into the

ash cup and then chugs it and it's just just vomit like borderline vomits on camera and you know what the next day he got top 8 at the big cheese he's a real fucking fighter yeah so that i wanted to tell you that so you hate youtube you think it's disgusting you're mad that i'm just mad also why did you say that you it's like i'm back as if that was an opinion that you because for a long time i was just like accepting that like, oh, this is how it goes.

Yes, how it goes, how it goes. And then I just remember it all. Like, it's just not about it's about keeping the attention of someone who actually doesn't care that you live or die or exist. And I think that can be just so gross. I don't agree with that. They care. It'd be so sad if I died. They would.

Not all millions. Only I would. There milly so many I would Montage is on my time. I would like hydraulically press of Ferrari, and then we'd all forget 200 million subs how many would be sad if he died? I'm not talking okay look that was hyperbole I'm talking more about the idea guys who subscribe to every video for a chance to win money The guys who subscribe to every video for a chance to win money. Fuck! The guys whose whole timeline is just retweets.

Are we still doing the giveaways? It's retweets and calling OnlyFans women mid, and that's their only personality. They're like, this is like my 9-11. God. Every other fucking day, it's like, hey, man, you're my friend now. And it's me getting tagged in a giveaway for like a 30-90. Dude, have you, the amount, Twitter has been

overtaken by the OnlyFans bot accounts. Have you seen? They're strong right now. I opened a thread about the new Spider-Man game, and it was all, like, bot accounts making comments about how they wanted to suck off Spider-Man, and it's all

OnlyFans women. This is net positive I think. I think they're just paying for bot services. The YouTube has the same thing, the same problem kind of. You know how it's like people who copy and paste the top comment but with like a porn account? Oh yeah. They take over everywhere.

Johnny Sins, we thought that was the real one the first time. I did. On our YouTube. Because it's verified. It's why the chat marks the comment. It's so, and the comment is like slightly more intelligent than like, it doesn't have like eight spaces between the letters and a weird period. It's just like, I love comment is, like, slightly more intelligent than, like, it doesn't have, like, eight spaces between the letters and a weird period.

It's just like, I love the yard. Great podcast. Yeah. And you're like, oh, thank you, Johnny Sins. Thank you, Johnny Sins, with your monster cock. Ripping out your blue jeans. Oh, that's a good costume. Uh, Luke?

Yeah, Luke and Grant McDonald. Dude, that would be so... The people, if you went to, like, a Death Grips after party, maybe they would know what your fucking costume is. I'm also mad at Dubin again. Why are you mad at Dubin again? Can you believe this shit? All he does is piss me off and I don't see him anymore. You do- you keep saying this, you see him so much. You see him at least twice a week. That's actually not true, you stupid piece of shit.

You see him on Monday and Tuesday of every week. No, dude, you're a worthless fucker. We hate you. I only see him in the context of recorded fucking content for money. We might as well be fucking on camera like I'm Johnny Sins and you're Johnny Sins. If you come to fucking work out, then you'd see me more. I see Eamon every damn day. Big's a goddamn bus. Eamon? No.

Yeah, he's getting there getting there Dude you are though But I'm mad Because He loves you He's like mad But he's like you are You're so big Ludwig will go on his stupid fucking stream

With all the little fruit running around To be fair he's playing a fruit game This is not Yeah It's not an allegory It's not an allegory for his chat Or cutie or anything No no

It's a bunch of fucking fruit Running around his face. He goes to his fruity ass chat. No, listen. He goes and he plays his game and every story he tells is recycled on this fucking very show. I want him for once to save one for the fucking boys. Bro.

No. I did save one. Last F. Which one? I didn't talk about my gambling winnings. That was very quick, I'll say, one I didn't talk about my gambling winnings. That was very quick I'll say but I don't talk about it Well, you're only doing that because it scores points with like the audience

Cuz like if you did that on stream it would you would feel uncomfortable doing that To be clear in the whoa after I said it on the pod that I said it on stream to No one cares look man look I'm contracting stream 90 hours. What do you want me to talk about? I feel like I just want you to save one for us. It makes it I said after get on the pod like after the pod. Yeah So I saved it for you, you're just mad you just wanna be mad. I don't want to be mad I just think this often happens. Do you wanna take like a minute or two in the Amogus costume? How about you chill bro, come on.

I don't wanna go back to you. Go back, go back in. It was like being born again. Go back in there. I saw my ego in there, on the other side of me. I was the imposter. Where are you keeping your money these days? I'm trying to sell the fucking CDL to me man.

I'm not doing the Chum Bucket. C-C-O! C-C-O! CDL to me, man. I'm not doing the Chum Bucket. C-C-O. Yeah. C-C-O. Also, CDL is a commercial driver's license. I don't want that either. I don't want none of this.

I don't want none of this. I don't want that either. For sure. I promise you I don't want that. No, esports is hot right now. We gotta get it. Esports is hot right now. Well.

Is esports back? Esports is so back. I won 2K on esports this week. Is that pay the team's salary. I want to Kay on eSports this week Like doing like with a friend as a team owner like on a betting site no against settles team owner I don't know but he paid me to rack and I gave it to my players just to bend And then dude, you know know it's fucked up is uh We were so we it was the mxs for sentinels. We had a bet it was like 1500 a match last match 2k So crazy we won by the way it is not crazy

I expected to win, but what's crazy is how disrespectful Rob was shout out to him. He's very nice. It's sentinels owner. He's like 84 he's an older guy. Oh He's like you get it is he's of like you what yeah because i'm 84 i'm 84 and i love the esports industry he's bald and he uh and he wanted to bet and we wear this phone call about it it's me him and terry terry's so funny on phone calls by the way terry's so different on phone call you've been on a phone call with him before he's real business professional he's like yeah that's not a bad idea we should loop back to that but like if we could chat about perhaps what we're gonna do for the stakes i'll take a first shot i have to make a bet no yeah actually it's like very pro is he wearing like is it is it the idea he's verbally

wearing like dad's business outfit yeah he's wearing this exact outfit on every call. Let's talk about how we're distributing the wealth from the top. Anyway, so we're on this call and then Rob's like, do you guys need like odds? Like for the money? Like I can give you odds if you want. And I'm taking this disrespectfully. Yeah. Because I just did a merger with Shopify.

Our team's fucking electric. Although we're tier two, we are tier one skilled, but he doesn't believe in that. So I said no. I should have said yes, though. And then we beat their asses. Straight bet. Straight bet. Beat their asses 2-1.

Take two bans from them. They couldn't handle the Brock to go. They were mad, I think, too. I like that. Oh, because it was, they did host and put it all on and then get smoked. And then they had to do a meet and greet with a hundred Sentinels fans.

Dude. It was brutal. Because they have the Send City thing, like the investors but not investors. Oh. And so part of it's you get to show up. It's kind of like Patreon for Sentinels but they made it themselves.

Exactly. That's a business shark idea right there. Hold on. That's how they came up with it. OG was in the meeting. Wait, what if we made yard dollars? Hear me out. We make our own economy. And you can only spend the money on us. But we promise to give you the things you need in your regular life too.

And we just need to jumpstart this. So we give out a bunch of yard dollars for free. Right. We inflate the market. One mil GP is equal to one yard dollar. Yes. That's what... So back when camel cigarettes had little bucks, they were called camel bucks.

Marlboro Miles had this too. My mom got a lot of merch. It's like airlines. Well, yeah. My dad used to do that. He used to fucking cut out the Marlboro tops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's like box tops.

Wait. Box tops for education. Did cereals copy cigarettes? Yes. No. Tobacco marketing was a type. We used to smoke cigarettes with milk, too. Cereal is the cigarettes for kids.

They're training kids with cereals and box tops to become lifelong smokers. My dad came up with that idea. It's just an incentivization. No, they're incentivizing you to buy the same product. The fucking government is training you to smoke the camel bucks there was a disclaimer because i had one because it looked like a little dollar and i thought they were cool and you know i would take them from the adults that smoked in my life and it said this is worth one one thousandth of a cent like in monetary terms and i was like

damn you would need so many of these. I better start now One pack of Turkish jade, please. Dude when my when my dad died rest in peace He uh we like cleaned out a bunch of shit And we had the staircase down to our garage because like slightly lower and in under the staircase I never we'd never ventured there, but we went under there's this giant fucking garbage bag Just filled with those. My mom and the same thing. Just filled to the nines and we just threw it out cuz we're like what? We just threw it. We didn't want to fucking could have got a poker Cigarette because it's part of what killed him. I don't need a poker set for what get something out of it That's dude. There's like a 1 1 thousands chant chance he responds if you catch those it was response

If you turned all of them in you could have gone on a cruise with Dylan and Cole Sprouse and that would have helped the pain I would text the day animal sweepstakes. That was a scam, right? No, no Somebody want it? The Danimal Sweepstakes. That was a scam, right? Uh, no, no, they- they- somebody won it. Oh, okay. This is- they made a video or something. The per- the kid who won the Danimal Sweepstakes made like an article or a video about it. There was someone who made a YouTube video, not that kid, who's trying to find it. That's the good part of YouTube, by the way. It's like finding the Danimal Sweepstakes winner. Yeah.

Here's the thing, bro. Our Party City, uh, delivery's here. Sorry, I tried to get Halloween decorations, but it was too late. So you're doing it mid-show? Oh, well, I'm just going to make sure the guy gets us the order. But I wanted to make it all Halloween town in here, so I just did the lights. Soda.

I'm just going to eat a burrito real quick. What are you doing? Is that just paper? That's literal paper. It looks like he ate it! Is this from the fish episode? I had a what are you doing? Is that just a paper? That's little paper? No this shark I Think it was a scrapped scrapped costume for the the fish the fish sketch we did for the merch we wore it for the Secret episode we wore this Oh with the pink one The fish episode, the secret one on the thumb drive. The secret episode, we wore this.

Oh, with the pink one and the blue one? I knew it was a fucking repackaged costume, you piece of shit. I actually forgot about that. This is fine. I'm Breslin. I hemmed the fucking thing with safety pins so that it looked more like a suit. That's creative. That's actually kind of hype.

I didn't know you could hem. You're hot now. I found the ghoul costume, and I put it over the shark, and I was like, when it cuts off the shark belly, it looks like I'm a businessman. And then I was like, I'm business shark. Dude, I love the idea that Shake walks in here, looks at you, he's like, huh, Dracula flow. And then walks out. No, Shake, it's not not we went to this party last night

with Yan Yan also needs a costume last minute takes the uh takes the swordfish costume that we have and then do you Jackman getting a blow job go ahead go on I I and then he takes the crown puts it over the tip of the swordfish thing and then that's that's that was Yen's whole costume It was crowned over over his giant swordfish and it worked Oh don't do that. Oh that was bad That was bad How did you accidentally pull because I was trying to do it You just wore Yen's entire body for that moment

He just saluted skeleton Hitler We made two jokes about skeleton Hitler at the beginning of this episode I was trying to do the swordfish thing. Dude, you know that thread that you posted to show us your costumes? If someone was Cyborg Osama Bin Laden, I would have been like, welcome to the show. You're on. You are now officially our fifth member. Yeah, I made that tweet because I thought we could do a little costume contest and crown a little winner.

I'm down. Before we do, I want to tell you guys something. I had a dream last night and I know describing dreams is cringe, but it hurt. It affected me a lot and I'll keep it short.

Keep it going, Mew2King. I'm walking down the street. I'm with Shake and my mother. We're walking. We get drive-by shot at. My mom gets shot and killed. Shake gets shot in the gut

and I also get shot. Me and Shake decide to walk to the hospital and get an ambulance ride from there. That's beast. Because it was cheaper. From the hospital? Yeah. To the hospital. To the other hospital for gunshots?

Yeah. I get picked up. I'm like, is it bad? The doctor comes in. It's all yellow. And she's like, it bad the doctor comes in it's all yellow and she's like it's not good and i'm afraid to go to sleep because i think i'll die if i do right and then i wake up in real life and i'm so fucking stressed out i like literally for like 20 minutes after i

wake up i keep kind of feeling my side because i'm like am i is anything okay like it was one of those dreams that you feel like dude did i really get shot and i'm stressed out and I'm like, is everything okay? It was one of those dreams that you feel like, dude, did I really get shot? And I'm stressed out and I'm like, what about my mom? How do I deal with that? She's been dead for a long time. And I didn't even think about Shake. Which was awful. Because Shake didn't die.

But he is in my subconscious now. There's a lot going on. Which is a problem. That is a problem. He owns you. He runs you. Shake runs you. He runs me. After you talked shit. He owns you he owns you he runs you After you talk shit on him you chirped as he left yesterday he went outside He's like I got fucking run thousand euro in chess bro fucking lives the gunshots We before the party last night We went to 7-eleven and we're buying beer the guy at the register is on and we're buying beer, the guy at the register is on FaceTime with his girlfriend,

and he sees us at the register in our fish costumes and shake as Dracula flow. Just Dracula. And his wife is asking to see the costumes, and he's going to each of us one by one so that his wife can look at what we've dressed up as. It's kind of cute. Speaking of fucking dreams, I got the most horrifying text from Cutie this morning. Was it, I saw a dream? No, it was not,

I have a dream. It was, I had such a bad dream about you. Classic. Classic. Oh, hey, girlfriend guys. Rise up in fear. To be fair,

Dream Ludwig is always up to fucking no good. I'm up to no good. Is this happening to you? Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, and then they actually don't like you for like a day. They're mad. They're a little mad. It's just like, I didn't do what you were saying.

Emotionally, they hold on to what Dream Me did. Until you apologize. Dream Me goes fucking nuts, though. Me and Dream You would have a lot of fun together. Dream Me's making you quake and quiver. And she's in the room. And I don't stop. Cutie in the cuck chair.

Call Dream You and regular me. I got a mish. So how'd you resolve it? Did you say, I'm sorry, whatever I did. I said, what happened? She said, I'll tell you later. That's crazy. She's holding on to it.

Bro, that's fucked up. It's because Dream You is a sexual deviant who you're in a sexual're in a sexual arms race to get off a pair nothing is ever enough for dreamy bust so much and dream cutie Stays with you for some reason you're the Joseph Stalin of busting in dreams Okay, because you're you're going to war with China 60s with With my nut? Yeah. With dream mouth. How do people wear furry crocs? I have swamp ass.

I hate furry crocs. You need socks with them. Yeah, I just thought Breslin wouldn't wear socks. I took them off. Why would you think Breslin would wear furry crocs? Because that's the closest thing I had to it. Breslin wears Sperry's. I didn't have Sperry's. That's all Breslin wears though. Hmm. Disrespectful of you to not wear the Sperry's. I didn't have Sperry's. That's all Breslin wears, though. Hmm. Disrespectful of you to not wear the Sperry's.

Yeah. He finally got one on you, man. You're not even wearing shoes. I'm not Breslin. Would Naruto wear socks? He would take his shoes off indoors. He's Japanese, yes. We're outside.

We're indoors. No, we're not. In the Hidden Leaf Village, the outside is our inside. What's the inside? Yeah. Is the inside your outside? Is the inside the outside. I want to call a bush You know jutsu and have my second one kill you my clone would fucking kill you We talk about lovely fucking candy to us that shit was whack

Yeah, you put raisinets over sour patch kids first of all It was a bad tearless because I had three people and we we had to do the middle, the median of everyone's vote. Oh, and one was 40. One person was 40. Can you bring it up, Zipper, on his Twitter? We're really going to fucking trip about tier lists right now? Well, I just want to look at it, because I want you to tell me what you actually believe,

which apparently is hard to find nowadays. God? Because you got Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus Christ christ is that what you address if jesus christ was right here i'd put him in god like tell me what you disagree with most about this here let's put you in razor blades fine whatever brazen that i put you in vile dog shit here okay so i believe fully your mints i believe fully in s tier i do not i hate your mints. I believe fully in S tier. I do not. I hate junior mints. It's fondant. I do not like them.

I would put them in, in trick. Okay. They trick me out. So my S tier for audio listeners, Butterfingers, peanut M and M's Reese's Snickers, Kit Kat.

Now I'm not that press about Snickers. I was just about to say, I'm not, I just love Mario. This is like a tier list of which commercials do you like the most? I would probably swap Snickers with crunch, but I feel pretty good about that. I'm generally more of a chocolate guy than I am a candy guy.

All right. And what's your favorite candy ever on this whole list? Everyone go around. If candy, not chocolate, I would probably go Sour Patch Kids. What's your favorite Chalky? I would probably go Peanut M&M's. Really? Yeah. Interesting. I really like Peanut M&Ms really yeah Interesting I really like peanut M&Ms. I feel good eating them

Is it like do you like taking the shell off with your teeth and tongue and then eating the peanuts? Nope, I do that you bite it in the middle a little M&M egg cracks in half. Yeah, yeah, yeah I eat them separately I don't care, I eat the same peanut sideways I just go Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's like a fun game every time. I've never eaten the- I know this is a good tier list.

What the fuck is the matter with you? He's allergic to peanuts. He's allergic to peanuts, yeah. That's very normal. That makes sense! Yeah. It's still weird though. That's what's the matter with me.

I mean that does answer your question. I forgot. It's a pro- I would prefer if it wasn't that way. Dude, I'm gonna major keeler. I'm gonna put you guys on game Yo pretzel M&Ms you ever have those they're alright. Yeah, I don't like them. They're right. They're way too I know this is good because stands came up to me at the function last night and said bad tearless candy corn is great And I went oh, thank you. No, no, do you know you see called chicken feed? Really? And I went oh, thank you. No, no, do you know you see called chicken feed? Really that makes sense old school name

Again feed chicken that Makes me feel more reassured that it's violent dog. I like candy am I fucked up you are fucked up I'm weird. I like sweet. I like candy corn biscuits biscuit Wait, I'm gonna I'm gonna grab the bags from party city because they're relevant sure i was at the party last night and you know the classic opening line once you don't know someone is hey what costume like what who are you and so i asked this guy comes up to me i'm like because he introduced himself and she's myself i go hey uh i go hey who are you and he goes i'm jarvis and i look him up and down and and he's and he is a black guy but like that's it

there's nothing about this and so i'm like no you're not yeah you're you're not wearing it five minutes to be like no you're not and then and then he was like yeah you're right but some people have believed it oh no that was like the the with Nick. Everyone's calling him Aiden. Wait, for what? At TwitchCon. Oh, no, no, no. But this guy is like pretend, like trying to like pass it off. He just showed up lazy with no costume.

Oh, okay. And it was a Jarvis's party. Oh, okay, okay. For some extra context, yeah. Damn. That's why he tried to pass off. Bummer. Was it a fun party? Wait, did he invite all the yard guys and you didn't say anything again?

I'll check. I don't think so. Unless he did, in which case, whoops. Twice is crazy. I got invited to this. You did? But then Shake invited me to this other party and I went with Shake instead. No way.

Jarvis, this is fucked up. I was not specifically told to invite anyone. I am absolved of all sins. This is fucked up because I literally, I think I was the only person to reach out and be like, how's your nose from the surgery? Because he got a deviated septum repaired, which I've had too.

Maybe that's why he didn't invite you. And we've talked about it several times. And then he said, thanks for checking in. If we just analyze the variables here, it feels like maybe you crossed a boundary. He didn't want you at the party. I remember he's like, yeah, some guy keeps fucking asking me about my nose. And it's like, it makes me feel so cautious about my nose.

It's crazy I'm now beefing with Jarvis. Welcome to the graveyard of souls that is my beef opponents. Hello, it's Ludwig here once again, giving you great advice. If you, this is from the creators of the Boo Basket. We now have shave your balls, please. It would be great for those who love you around your life. And you can do it with Manscaped, sponsor of today's video, which I use for my face and my balls.

Yeah, you ever shave your balls with all the stuff you have lying around and you start bleeding out of your ball sack and you're like, is that our blood and semen coming from the same place? That's confusing. Maybe I should cut my balls with a bear trap. This stops that from happening because they have the little ceramic blades instead of the steel that destroys your balls.

It's actually pretty good. I use it on my balls. It went great. My balls are now hairless. I wrote a guide back in 2017 about shaving your balls. It's true. Oh, it comes kind of full circle for you, huh? Yeah, it was the top of our sex.

It was a very complicated guide. It was paragraphs long, but now the paragraph is by this. This extremely normal skeleton likes this too because he could shave with it And also it has a flashlight that is two different tones when you click it for different skin tones and for the skeleton It's good or for bone tone or for bone tones. He's like a lawnmower 5.0 Ultra Absolutely hairless over there. You can get it with 20% off with free international shipping. Here's the box.

It has a little fun travel pack, too, if you're a traveler. And these johns are waterproof. You can go in the shower. Have you guys ever done the thing where you're shaving your balls with a non-juiced razor, such as a Manscaped Lawnmower 5.0, and you cut your balls? Oh, because it's such a dog razor? And you think it might be over i that has not happened to me since i've been using the manscape razor and that is not a lie

yeah it's it's one of those like like products where you see this the shit on tv and you're like i mean nah and then you use it and you're like wow i'm not cutting my balls that's kind of nuts yeah it's it's just really nice so do it for the loved ones in your life and if you're not the loved one in your own life change that and get yourself a lawnmower as well. Oh, there's like a carrying case in here. And your meat looks bigger. You don't gotta pack your shaver with your toothbrush like I do. Did you just ignore what I say?

He did say this. You're so fake. No, this is verbatim. Actually, we don't talk. He found the carrying case. I don't mess with you. You don't have to listen to this guy because he shaves his face after he shaves his balls with the same razor. Did he not say what I just said?

Didn't we both do it? It's convenient. Oh, we just did it as if you found it, like the first guys who says it. It's the Manscaped 5.0 Ultra Lawnmower. Head over to manscaped.com slash yard and get your hands on the Lawnmower 5.0 Ultra with promo code THEYARD20.

THEYARD20. They love putting numbers after our name. And you get 20% off. Plus free international shipping. That's around the world. International. Why don't we have free international shipping that's around international why don't we have free international order this in guam they have to pay for it that's manscaped.com territory is slash the yard manscaped.com slash they already use code the yard 20 ad checkout

even if you're french i would dare say you're allowed to use this they're not gonna you might need to buy two though french people maybe they don't shave because they're afraid of cutting themselves maybe this will save the french people. I tell them in French. It'll be okay Jim Mongeau Cushion Have a good one everybody the yard 20. I thought I thought it'd be funny if I ordered all of the food versions of candy So I have all of them. That's the candy taco. Oh, it's gummy taco. Here, Aiden, you can have a gummy

sandwich. No, I want that one. I eat it in one bite. Okay. Ludwig, for you, because you like your streams about McDonald's, gummy burger. That's for Yan. That is for Yan. And bring him on down here. Come on, Yan. Just throw it on over.

No, let him throw it. You got it, a kiddo. Okay, you you wanted to toss it over I wanted to be your hero. Come on, buddy. Breslin could do it first time. She's like chopsticks, bro He was crazy. Well, that wasn't bad. Mm-hmm. That wasn't bad the sand. Um, I don't want to eat this I thought we could decide which one's the best This looks I thought we could decide which one's the best. Oh, this looks... But now that they're here, they look really gross. This is 64 grams of sugar. Can we PTZ on that zipper? They're all vile. I've had these.

I used to have the Krabby Patty ones when I was younger. I wanna use my hands. God, it looks... it has a quality reminiscent of an actual gas station sandwich. Oh, there's an egg one. There's more. I have candy noodles. That's okay, that's great, buddy. You know the worst candy ever is jelly beans. What are you talking about?

Jelly beans are vile. Wow. They're like the mystery flavor ones. Oh, but that's, it's like a game. You're not supposed to casually eat those.

Those aren't normal jelly beans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I guess I don't like jelly beans. Why would you just say that? You mean like the Harry Potter jelly beans, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Bernie Botts

ever flavor beans. It's a version of jelly bean, for one. And for two, they're horrible. I had the popcorn one growing up. I threw up, straight up. Come eat pizza. Ugh. There's an egg on it.

I'm eating this because I'm a warrior, and this is disgusting. I'll eat one with you. My body's a temple. I already ate it. I wouldn't put that in my body. Ugh. The same company that makes you... How is this a pizza?

Uh... What is on it? Let me see. It doesn't even... Is that an egg? The same company that makes this a pizza What is on it? Let me see it doesn't even is that an egg? That's not even close It's not even close to a pizza. They didn't even try. The box is really good though. They tried on the box really well They also have gummy fries. Oh look it's got little grill marks. Gummy fries is cute. There you go This is gummy steamed ham. Oh this actually looks good, it looks like it's sour. Alright. Alright, well let's talk- let's stop talking about candy.

What's up, Dubbin? Uh, do we wanna- Let's start talking about this eye candy we got next to us. Oh! Come on. Is it me? I'm back to being him. Hey, I saw your coach last night.

My coach? Yeah. Coach Quick? I saw Coach Quick. What's he doing? He's at the function. This is fun my coach God what the fuck's going on? He's at the function of every boxing last night. I got to level 50 on thin Wow Would you come maybe wait check check your Twitter DMS

Cuz that's where I got invited. Yeah. Oh, I... Dude, if you got invited, that'd be funny. Anyway, he said he'd offer you free sessions, or, like, you know, some sessions, once in whatever. Once in a blue moon. Just to fucking fight?

I was just supposed to pass it along. Jarvis. Piece of shit. I hope you get invited. You should throw a party at your house, and then invite all his friends. You should throw a party at your house. Thanks for all his friends you should throw a party at your house thanks for checking in

scroll up maybe he invited you a year ago yeah because he invited me a year ago it was so long ago he invited me to a new years eve party in December 30th 2022 I said no hey I'm out of town but appreciate it please do not let stans come

what can I say They didn't want an electric guy there They didn't want an electric guy because you'd be too electric for the party But they let Stans come last night They did let Stans come Maybe that's why he was like Stans said if Slom comes it's gonna go down I would kill Stans

I don't think you Stans is so much bigger than you think he stands is so much bigger than you I don't think you I think not so much bigger than me. Oh, so that was a nerve by the way You take a little nerve there. Wait, isn't it stands? It's just not and what in what metric do you think? He's not bigger than you because he's taller and larger as a man. Yeah, so he's a big fat Who's the guy who just won the fight so much bigger it's But he's Burger Stance. Burger Stance? He's Burger Stance, but he's bigger. Who's the guy who just won the fight? Something so much bigger.

It's like, he's like two inches taller than me. And it's like, that's not... Dude, isn't Stance taller than me? He's taller than you. Yeah, he's like six... I think he's six one. He's like six... I think he's six one or six two.

He's not taller than you. He's six one. See, that's the aura. The version that he has in his head is crazy. That's what I'm saying. He thinks Stance looks like fucking Hassan. Yeah. He's six one, two looks like fucking Hasan. Yeah. He is 6'1", 290.

Stans? Yeah. He's a big boy. Yeah, either way, I would sleep Stans. Also, next chess boxing. Bro, put me up against Shake, bro. Dude. Dude, that'd be electric.

No. It would be. No one would care. And again, you don't do it for the fucking, you don't do it for the core heads. You don't do it for the Yardigans out there who want to see Shake dead. You do it for the fucking random dipshit who it's either choosing between watching a soap cutting video or your content. And you're like, I want your attention.

To be clear, why would I want to do it for the people who want to see Shake dead? Because. That's not like a demo that I'm trying to hit. How big is that demo? It's so many people. It's got to be at least a hundred. That want Shake dead? Yeah that I'm trying to hit. How big is that demo? It's so many people. It's got to be at least 100. That one, Shake Dead? Yeah.

He needs Shake a lot. God, we talk about him too much. This is too much free real estate he has in your head. Yeah, but we can all- He runs your mind, little bro. But I run him when I fucking connect one left hook to his dome piece. I think if you guys fought, it would fracture your relationship forever. No, it would make us stronger than ever.

No, because it's bond. This happened. This happened. This happened. Hey, we know it. I don't think I don't think I can talk about this on the pod pod tof hugs Fractured for life. No fractured for life. This is I mean that the rumors are the street are it's not a meme To have had a wedding guess who didn't get invited Oh mango. Yeah, but also hugs you should invite mango to your way I complete that were you getting to show should invite mango to your wedding you're getting distracted would you invite mango to your wedding of course i would but i would definitely cut him

off from the bar early i'd be concerned that's crazy i don't look you know what hugs he brings it on himself he's too bad he's too about his grind set he's about his grind set but his grind set's fucking elite can i talk my shit about hugs talk your shit you dressed up as a boxer for halloween so cringe i saw it on twitter so cringe the halloween's like an excuse to thirst trap he thirst traps yeah but there's a girl that's a fucking bad guy sexist what if i came as a rock climber i mean i i think the idea of a box is to show off his muscles and progress if you want to go as a climber and then hang from a wall, He could have been Valrog from like Street Fighter. Sure, that would also be fine.

This is a lazier costume for sure. It's definitely lazier. But he wanted to show off his fucking tight bod. Well, that's what I think. That's just cringe. We're all, look, it is cringe

and you can't convince that it's otherwise. I don't think thirst trapping is cringe. I think thirst trapping is fine and legal in the single world. No, the thirst trapping

is the cringe part. You think it's being the boxer. I think it's like you dress up as the shit you've been doing all year. That's the opposite of Halloween. Like, yeah, we get you box. That's my angle. It's like, we get it. You box now.

You're a boxer. You don't got to dress up as a boxer. You literally can just be a Street Fighter character. I respect the thirst trap no matter what. But what if, why can't you be creative and say, oh, I got Balrog's fucking rope? You're right, but I still respect the thirst trap. Isn respect the first size of the biceps where it's always okay i've taken a stance you know i like the fucking thirst to be like i'm taking it i'm just on your side i like his hot i like his hot tight bod and he would rock you i do love his hot tight bod

that part i can't you know and you know ben and i want to want to oh another police officer fucking you know a cab woman thirst trap comes along you know bat and i what are you talking about bat and i you don't say shit i do bat and i a cab women they're sorry you are breathtaking and i'm starting to think some cops are good I'm starting to think you're too pretty to be dressed as a male lady for Halloween. You better hope a guy cop pulls me over because I'll riz a girl cop and I won't get a ticket. Best costume I saw was Ian from Smosh. He was called Jacob. Oh, the sign on the side?

Yeah, he had the sign. He has the upside down billboards on the freeway. What? Because then you go, why is it upside down? Oh, right, because I'm looking at it now and talking about it now. Carl Jacobs is like a big lawyer. He's basically like Sweet James. Dude, I thought you were saying Carl Jacobs.

No, Carl Jacobs. That would be lamer. I also thought this. It was like distorted Carl Jacobs. Yeah. Like Shadow Realm Carl Jacobs. No, no, like Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones and the Dothraki Horde. Oh, Sweet James is such a good costume. Sweet James is a great costume. It's like Carl Jacobs. No, no, like Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones and the Dothraki Horde. Oh, Sweet James is such a good costume.

Sweet James is a great costume. It's like Carl Jacob. Carl Jacobs. I'm not like a New Jersey accent. And he rides on Jacob. He turned out to ride a horse when he was five. Kyle Jacobs. No, it's just fucking Carl.

He's at every Lakers game. Is that where Carl Jacobs got his tag from? Yeah, yeah, 100%. And it is a tag. It is a tag. It is a tag. It's not a snow. Asking gamer moms what their kid's tag is. We're writing the 17th season of the Guild.

How's that candy taco treating you? Is it still in the plastic? Yeah. No. It is in the plastic. I don't want you to lie. We see the plastic. Don't hide it with your hands.

Zipper, have you compiled the yard costumes? That's a no. That's a big no. It's a big no and don't ask ever again. Yeah, that's a, I helped Slime get into his Amogus and I'm done working for the day. That was a lot of work. I mean, you could either

compile it now and we'll do it in a bit or we could scroll it. If we free scroll, that we should do in we could scroll it. If we free scroll that, we should do it in primo. Free scroll? If we free scroll, we should do it in primo because it's going to be a mess. We can do the Halloween costume party in the primo. Can we do a spooky update?

What's going on with D&D? Because I'm on my fucking stream and people bark at me all the time. They're like, when's your D&D? And I'm like, I don't know. I just show up to this shit. Don't ask me questions. So I have to ask you the question you shouldn't ask you don't ask me how much do we want where'd my cap go how much do we want to leak i guess we could leak that the table is the heaviest known object to me that's what we could leave dude it's

bad i'm not gonna lie so you guys talk about how heavy the table is my first thought dead ass was i could solo it and i thought yeah i want to see you try so badly it's just too big i can solo it you know you can lift if it was the size of a baseball but it weighed that much yes wait no no then i couldn't solo it no you what because this like it has more a baseball that's fucking 150 pounds what i'm saying is it's too big for a man to actually i would carry it so and what i said was when we were all moving at me zipper at 8 and I was like Ludwig will love the opportunity to move this

every time we do this so maybe it's fine I'm gonna go under it like Hafthor Bjornsson the mountain when he did it with the thousand year old record in Iceland the problem we have doors and you can't go under it I don't care about the door I'll just walk it across the hallway the doors are your thing I'm not doing that

I'm not doing the door thing It needs to be practical it doesn't need to be practical she's me I want to solo it as a No, you know we do it's like wait. I don't care about the doors That's fine We just set him up in the warehouse and he has to he has to build the table alone And we put it on one side and the the base is on the other side You go build table alone. Who's this fucking Winnie the Pooh minigame? This is the test yeah, I just wanna solo it. No, I just wanna pick it up and move it

I don't think you can. I will go. Let's do it after this. How heavy is it if you had to guess? It's gotta be like I'd probably put it Yeah, yeah, probably 250 300 pounds. I'd probably put it at, yeah, yeah. Probably 250, 300 pounds. What the fuck? I know, and you're like, wow. No way. That's great. That's not right. It's not that heavy.

It is. It's very heavy. It definitely is. 250 to 300? Yes. And you would probably be like- You guys are sumo- No, no, no, no.

I'm dead serious. It's too big for your fucking body, Ludwig. You're just a man. We made a 300-pound table? That's ridiculous. It's so that's the dumbest You know three are we fucking we were on the three man yesterday We were on the three men and we were like I don't know if we can do this. We do we do we Louie on the beat Yeah, give me a so we're making a Dungeons and Dragons show.

Yes. The table is close to being completed. Apparently it's 300 pounds. Apparently it's 300 pounds. I think it's a little less than that, but it's still heavy. And we're close. We've played some test games. We're almost ready to start recording the show.

October is rip. November? My guess is December. Whoa. That's when it November? My guess is December. Whoa. That's when it comes out? Because, yes. Yes. You heard it here first.

Because Archie can't do it all alone. We got to find people. And now I got to say that. And people are going to spam my DMs now. I'm fucking. So, guys, if you want to help out and move it along. You know what to do. Message Aiden, who is my assistant.

Yay! It's back. Episode 159. It is back. If we ever start another podcast, I'm going to remember the power that the first episode has. So much. When people are still messaging this stupid shark cuck.

Yeah. And saying, We could have said something valuable like drinking drag. I'm a shark. I can't even get shingles. Shark shingles don't exist. They don't. No, shark shingles exist, but shark video games. That's actually I used to watch our week every year So you have seen a shark Shark skin is covered by tiny flat v-shaped scales called dermal denticles

Vampire goes to the dentist Denticles I'm leaving dumbest brick. I'm leaving this show. How the fuck you think they didn't have scale You thought they were rubber smooth. Can you look up a picture of a shark zipper, please, shark? Do you think you're going to be right after this part? I just want to see that it's reasonable that I would say that. You thought they ate the gum gum fruit? Look at them! They're like big bears!

You saw this. They ate the fruit, then they couldn't swim. Look, look, look. Shut up, look. Oh, it works. They couldn't swim. That's why I'm on land now. Does that look like bro has scales?

It looks like bro has scales, yeah. No, it doesn't. It doesn't look fucking smooth like rubber. That's why I'm on land does that look like bro has scales it looks like bro has scales Yeah, it doesn't look come on smooth like rubber It looks a bit rough. That's what Aiden looks like that does look like it is what I look like No, it's a costume does that turn you on huh does that turn you on sexual? Shark girlfriend with that with that piece of meat. You have to shark text your shark girlfriend. Say I would never shark cheat on you. Maybe shark text her and tell her that I would never shark cheat on her.

Do you think you'd be good at like a bestiality quiz? Like tell an apartment. Like how do you bestiality an animal? Oh yeah. Bestiality quizzes. I throw 20 different species of animal, you have to tell me male or female. Just looking at them. That is not what you describe as a beastiality quiz. Why is that a beastiality quiz? Yeah, because if you're really good at it, it's a little weird.

If you're really good at it, you're either like a really dope ass veterinarian or zoologist, or you're a freak. Yeah. So it's like a bestiality test of you Yeah, I'm trying to imagine the cross-section of guy who's like okay with bestiality, but really against gay bestiality Hmm like you can fuck animals, but I would never fuck a guy. No, that's good. No think about how many hicks like fuck like horses and bears and shit I don't think there are that many. There's like more than double digits. And I think they'd be cool

with gay people. I don't think a lot of people are getting away with fucking bears. I also don't think so. That's a hard one to make happen. They're big. You have to riz the bear. These city boys don't know nothing. To me, this reminds me of my favorite Ali G bit ever,

is he's on a farm with a guy, and he keeps asking him, so what made you lot want to be a veterinarian? He's like, I'm a veteran. And then he keeps going, he's like, you love animals? I think I'd do great at that, and not because I like fucking horses and dogs and bears, but because I would be just and dogs and bears, but because... Because I was born to.

Because I would be just... I'm astute. I'm very perceptive. Right. And that's how you knew that the shark would be made of rubber. Are the animals spread eagle? No, it's not like fucking gross ass, like OnlyFans or OnlyFins pics. Yeah, OnlyFins.

OnlyFins is just shark butt. OnlyFins commands, and it's a site for your boys? It's like a regular ass picture of them. I think if I had to beat off to a shark I could get it done. Ew. Ew. If a shark had- I took the conversation too far.

If a shark had titties I could do it. This is the worst thing you've ever said. That was better. I could- Pateronormative much? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Well, I can't beat off to something without titties? Is that weird to you I is just I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, you don't like it. I just don't you feel about

With Aiden's shark body and his big ass shark never quit. I'm telling you now It's a really good because one in contrast well with all the colors you're wearing but also reminds me of Donkey Kong dude you know people are saying to me I got Donkey Kong haircut yeah yeah

yeah I can see it dude that's so fucking funny yeah because I got that little swoop yeah

I made a tweet asking for help with Halloween costumes this was not in there funny enough it was not one of the suggestions but I said one of the rules

is you can't say the guy from shameless and everyone was just saying that same actor but in star wars but i don't think they knew it was the guy from shameless oh because were they doing the digital version yes yeah that's because they were doing the video game version and it does kind of look like i hate his character in shameless. Wait, Cal Kestis is a real guy? Yeah. But they made him look like Cal Kestis. Yeah, they used the actor's look. They used Mocap.

Whoa. And his exact face for the character. It's like the girl from Metal Gear Solid V. It's like the girl from Metal Gear Solid V. It's like Air Bud. Will you tweet out, I could jerk off to a shark if I needed to, or whatever you phrase it?

If I had to beat off to a picture of a shark, comma, I can get it done. You'd tweet that out? This is Nick's Black Bear episode. I'll be fine. That's not that bad. Would you tweet that out? No, I would not tweet that out.

Oh, no, I wouldn't tweet it out. No, I wouldn't. You don't have any love for the game anymore. What group is going to get mad at you? Shark lovers? They're probably like, fuck yeah, brother, good choice. Shark Week is crazy, man. Yeah, then you go to Sharks. Then you go to Sharks Gone Wild, which happens at midnight right after. Shark lovers? They're probably like, fuck yeah, brother, good choice. Shark week is crazy, man. Yeah.

Then you go to Sharks Gone Wild, which happens at midnight right after. They got the drums. I don't think you want the shark advocacy heat. Yeah, I do. That's a heat check that you don't want. You don't want that. You don't want that heat. That's like me getting strangled while I know. It's like the...

Yeah, there's a little bit of... It makes it a little bit more exciting for a shark lover like me. I guess when you know it's a little wrong would maya be on that shit would she would she be one of the people that is like hey you know she dms you is maya beating off the sharks no no would you're saying she's is she in the side that'd be like hey don't tweet about jerking off does she care about sharks same way she cares about she would like know something she'd she'd only come in with heat if she was like oh actually it's a huge issue people jerk off to sharks a lot and then like cut their heads off to jerk off to them yeah and then and then you'd

be like oh okay the japanese whalers that kill kill big whales they also kill sharks and just fuck them crazy raw they have whale stores i was in hakodate they just had a store there for whale that shit was crazy crazy what do you mean it's just a store and it's just like whale that's what it said just what is inside of it? Dead fucking whale meat. Whale meat, bro? Fucking meat that they eat. Do you think a whale steak tastes good? A whale's dick? A whale's steak. No, I think whale tastes bad, I've heard. Really? I've heard from sources that whale tastes bad. But you haven't decided to try it because you would be ethnically destroyed.

I would be ethnically destroyed I can't have that No, I've heard whales too fatty they used to use it as fuel I Have heard that that's that's I read the same thing We did that we needed I heard from someone who lives in Japan who ate whale Speaking of Maya at twitchcon this guy starts what he's so far away But I see him walking up with an afro and a microphone the afros I think he's like wearing it as a costume Okay, he comes up and he's him with a microphone

I'm like I don't want to do this and he's coming up and I'm like I'm just gonna tell him I don't want to Do this and so he goes to my eyes like hey Can I interview you guys and I'm like I'm literally the matter the words leave my mouth. Oh, I'm sorry, man I don't want to do that. I'm like no and it And I'm about to say it. She goes, yeah, he'll do it. And she points at me. She diced you. And I'm like, I look at her. I'm like, what?

I'm like, what? No. You can interview Maya. I don't want to be interviewed. And then she's like, yeah, we'll both do it. Dude. I'm like, what the fuck? So we do the interview.

It's like the worst interview ever. The guy just goes like, who are you? We both see our names. And then it's like, what's your YouTube channel? We both say that question. And he leaves. That, what's your YouTube channel? We both say that question and he leaves. That was it. And then I look over to Maya. What the fuck was that?

You fucked me. She's like, what do you mean? She had no idea what she did. Like she didn't, she was completely confused. Really? Yeah. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I was going to tell him I didn't want to do that.

And she's like, what? You can just say no. You can say no. She said, you can say no. And I was like, yes. And she's like, I've You can just say no? She said, you can say no? And I was like, yes. And she's like, I've never considered that. But I learned something about her. That she's scared.

You've learned something about women. That's so sad. That's women. Well, I don't generalize all of them from this moment. You should because they're all equally suffering. And that's what you don't accept. How? If you.

It is a conversation that always blows me away because i'll ask like a a friend and be like why did you go out with this guy if you don't like him or why'd you go on this date she's like because he asked me and i didn't have a good reason to say not like say no and it's like but what about no being the reason because you didn't want to she's like i didn't think about that like being an asker puts you in a position where you're kind of plus ev if you're thinking like a psychopath because you're putting pressure on that person just maybe say yes and it's gross that's why it's important to give people an out you give people an out you have to genuinely communicate an easy out for the other person and then if they say yes they really fucking mean it and that's good and better

for all parties so you don't respect business so i'm gonna fucking mean it and that's good And better for all parties, so you don't So I'm gonna go hunt sharks now Five Maya that's fucked up. This patty has grill marks stop eating it you can't fucking rank. I'll even with you He said this exact line I heard it has grill marks. I didn't do that you were eating them. Do you want any cheese? No man, I got the meat here. It looks so gross. I don't know if there's anything in this bag I could eat and enjoy.

Mmm, yummy. I- no. I have so much sugar, man. Ooh, I like candy, bro. Dude, candy sandwich is just wrong. Yeah, it's like, do you want food but bad for you? But horrible for you, and also bad tasting. When the Zonag apocalypse comes, we're gonna have to eat this shit, that's not how that works

That's what that's all that's gonna last dude. I did so much other. I did the most dumb la shit yesterday I was so mad at myself. Mm-hmm. We wanted to get breakfast me me and the lass and And we're we wanted to go to this bagel place We like but we were already kind of far from it if you're going somewhere else. Oh, let's go to this bagel place we like, but we were already kind of far from it because we were going somewhere else. She's like, oh, let's go to this spot. I've heard it's really good. It's like a famous LA place.

We show up. There is an hour-long line that goes around the block. This is Saturday you went. Yes, which was a mistake, but I didn't realize how poppin' a bagel place could be. So it's an hour-long line. It goes down the street. People have their fucking dogs in line. They've been there for so long they're like all meeting each other like it's

like crazy looking and so i say we're not doing that like that's way too fucking long like i want to eat so we look around for other stuff there's nothing else i'm like whatever let's go wait and if that good let's just do it it's nothing we wait in the hour long line we get our food uh also this part was kind of funny a homeless guy walked up to the the register because like it's a you ordered a window and he just picks up the tip jar and starts walking away with it no way the woman comes out like yelling sir sir like like he does this a lot and then he without looking just hands it back to her behind him and keeps walking like it was dude he's like i got it it was like that he's that If he ever gets it walks away and doesn't get yelled at he gets to keep it yeah, it's basically a minigame

Once you get through the whole fucking line. I'm not kidding It's a ridiculously long you get into the line of people waiting for their orders Which is the same length on the other side of the building? Finally got my bagel mid I Felt like the biggest idiot for doing all this shit more an idiot Yeah, you saw a big line outside the club and you're like there biggest idiot for doing all this you are an idiot yeah you saw a big line outside the club and you're like there must be hoes in here yes and i got in and i mean there was like a hoe or two there was like a couple but like not more than any other hoe store 200

bitches and ain't none of them hot that's an original that's a bartender by t-pain oh wow he really let it rip there's no way there's 200 women there and zero of them. That's a bartender by T-Pain. Oh, wow. He really let it rip on that one. There's no way there's 200 women there and zero of them are alive. Yeah, that's a you problem, T-Pain. Yeah, the stats are just not fair. Dude, this is... You have to be somewhere weird. Unless he's down in San Antonio.

Did you guys see this T-Pain podcast from earlier this week? No, yeah. It was like the Twitch CEO, Clancy. It was Dan Clancy, T-Pain,pain s fans. I think will neff was there Doing a podcast round right now. He was just on no jumper. He's doing around for sure He's at twitch con everyone was trying to get a pig with him. He was the hottest commodity in twitch con. He became a meme Like slime in person or he... I think he's very sweet. No, I am not.

Look, I have taken a lot of elements from low tier God in terms of like my stream and shit like that, but we are very different people. No, I think he's very sweet in person. That's great. Do you mean that? Yeah, I don't know him. I don't think he's mean in person. You got... This is crazy

to hear because I've been watching this dude. He's a sweet, gentle soul. He loves God. Okay. Yep. I've been watching this guy for a long time. He likes being sweet and gentle. And the shit I have heard to come out of that man's mouth is crazy.

That's online. It's not. I mean, it's not online. It was recorded. Which is pretend. No, I'm saying like in person, he's a gentle soul like you are you're charming. Yeah but there's a difference between the things I say online and things he's said online. Both's a changed man now. He's a changed man. This week, I watched him explain how status affects your attractiveness while the CEO of Twitch nodded along. That is not a fucking funny as shit.

And then T-Pain stepped in with his buddy that was on stream with him. It was just a... T-Pain was not letting Low Tier God talk, though. Do you think if we had T-Pain on, he Low Tier God talk, though. Do you think if we had T-Pain on, he'd produce a song for us that we're all rappers on? No. Why? Because that would be, like, I don't know, kind of annoying, I feel like, if I was T-Pain.

We're putting him to work. You're putting him to work and then also asking him for, like, a free song? We'd pay for his feature. How much does it cost, do you think? Oh, he would charge so much, bro. He would charge a lot. If you paid for his feature, he would do it. You think it's, like, 40k? No. Oh, it's gotta be so much more. He'd probably charge at least six fig. I think it depends if it's a custom feature or if there's anything you averse to put in your song and you're buying the credit. You're asking for a custom feature though. Oh, I don't care.

Yo, I fuck with this dude Aiden. And he's like, and truly Aiden, none of them were hot and that's the verse. None of the two. Yeah, it's a song about turning Aiden out in a Miami club. It's 200 people. It's 200 people. It's just one person has me hot. none of them were hot and that's the verse it's a song about turning in and out in a Miami club it's 200 people it's if one person has to be hot it's crazy to be to end up in that spot

is 200 women a lot for a club think about 200 people it's at a bar that's a lot of women you're rolling so bad that's so many I feel like it's not even a club all of them are beautiful by default and none of them should be working there A lot of women. You're rolling so bad. That's so many. I feel like it's not even a club. All of them are beautiful by default. Right.

And none of them should be working there. God bless their souls. If any of them are working there, they must stop. 200 savable women. God, they should be swimming in the ocean with me. The business shark? The business shark. Yeah, yeah. You definitely want to be called a shark when talking about being close to women.

Yeah, I'm, what, I'm nature's finest predator. You are one of the finest predators. I'm the finest predator. He is. Fine like suave. I'm nature's finest predator. Handcrafted by evolution. You are a handcrafted predator.

Yeah, you are. Before, you're the best predator. I'm the predator, I'm very custom. Well, you're the best predator. As a predator, I'm very custom. Well, you have the most experience. Women, men, I'll eat them all. Yeah, you predate on many. Yeah. I came before them and I'll outlast them.

Yeah, and I hate, because they are sharks, beautiful predators. People just keep trying to catch these predators. They shouldn't try. That's what they say. They should let them run. Don't keep the predators in check. Don't try to they say. You should let him run. Don't keep the predators in check. Don't try to get let him run wild the the

Taped on Edward 40 hands is more comfortable than furry Crocs You have your fake and funk. I'm saying the taped on gloves that are cutting my circulation off more comfortable Then that would hurt you smash them I want you to smash him so bad. You should go outside and you should smash him. Smash him on your skull, smash him on your skull, smash him on your skull, smash him on your skull. Do it, do it, do it, do it. He doesn't want to do it. It's just he's gonna cut himself.

He's doing the voice. He's doing the voice that I don't want to do it. Okay, he doesn't want to do it. What if it breaks my hand? Smash it on your skull! I don't want to do it. Your skull, smash it in. It's my hand. Smash it in your skull.

I don't actually want to drive off the bridge, but I just like, I think about it a lot. Yeah, you're not about it then. Some of us do want to- Alright, put him on and do it bro. I literally will do will do that all right that's great i have to wear some glasses though we have to get safety glasses i got glasses i'll wear those yeah i was gonna say i was gonna go touch them just cut my fucking eyes open hurt your eyes we'll do it after we'll do uh it'll be fun we'll intro the patreon yeah update book club have you finished you're such a fucker have you are you fake but i'm further along than you are uh how far are you chapter four that is farther than me

you haven't started uh no i did where here's here's what happened we went to the off-season tournament and i i had the physical book because i like having it i think kindles prevent me from reading actually so i actually have a physical book and i i bought it in the airport and i'm like and i'm like i'll read this on the plane i played hollow knight i didn't read it on the plane but i'm like i have it now and so i was reading it a little bit and then uh i put a water bottle in my backpack which was just my water bottle a book and a controller for super smashers melee bottle broke. So now I have this bloated ass, Yeah, he fucked the whole book up. Zipper, can you pull up the Yard Patreon? Crying in H Mart.

Uh, sh- Pull up the Yard Patreon? Yeah, if you could just pull up the Yard Patreon. No, not to say I can't buy it again, but I just didn't buy another one. How long ago was that? It was in Texas. That's like weeks ago.

That's right. It was a month ago. It was a month ago. Yard. Yard Patreon, 34,000 members, $209,000 a month. And I don't see a damn diamond. That's my fucking bitch ex-wife. You guys didn't know about that, did you?

I didn't know about that. You want to hear about this? Yeah, what's up with your bitch ex-wife? I've been married four times. That'd be so cool. Did you know that? You're not married four times. No, he has.

He has. He's been married. And I'm not in the damn pyramid once. Three kids. Four pyramids. I'm not in fucking one of them. He has. He's been married. And I'm not in the damn pyramid once? Three kids. Four pyramids. I'm not in fucking one of them? Fuck you. Oh, we invited you to the pyramid.

We invited him to the pyramid. We invited him. He just didn't check his DMs. Right? You just didn't see it? Oh, put it on me, huh? Did you check your DMs? Put it on me.

Yes. He didn't check. No pyramid invites. Dubbin, do you want to see the Saw movie also come to my new fifth wedding? And I'd be like, yes. I would love to come to your wedding and be in the pyramid. Dude, I sent him, I messaged him, and I was like, Dubbin,

do you want to come see the Saw movie with me? Because I want to see the Saw movie, and I haven't hung out with Dubbin. I wrote yes. And he said, I said, Dubbin, want to go see the new Saw movie? He replies, I'm gay! Exclamation point.

Why did he do that? I want to say I'm gay, and then I thought it was funny to say I'm gay. Andclamation point. Why did he do that? I want to say I'm gay, and then I thought it was funny to say I'm gay. And then I said, if that's a no, you have to say so. And then he said, I'm game, but with no exclamation point. And I'm like, I don't know about this. What do you mean? It's very clearly a yes. It's such a clear

yes. It's not like a controversial yes. I'll give him a time and date. Give me a time and place, I'll hallelujah. You want me to go see the movie? Give me a time and date. That's your job place. I'll hallelujah No, you'll see the song movie. Oh give me a time and place and I'll hallelujah. All right, you already in Us on this day Yo, you should put a bunch of streamers in a box and then you could be like a stick We're gonna just put a stick in the box you could put all these streamers in a damn box and your Your jigsaw and then you'd be like

You just remove Mr. Beast videos. Have you seen the new Mr. Beast videos? No, you saw right? Yeah, he started he's starting to do fucking challenges people and then he got hired a VFX guy Well, I think it's paid per explosion. He just started blowing up people Can you pull the new video? He keeps doing explosions. So he the last video he fucking nuked all the east coast and then the world and then this video he's like it's in space because i nuked the world in the last video and then someone gets eliminated and then he just blows them up into like men in black goo that's good that's cool why are we complaining about this

yeah what do you want more tier lists are you mad at at Jimmy Donald? I'm just saying he's blowing people up look No, he actually clutched that one actually really swaddling. He actually swagged that one and clutch it He just made a reality so it's eliminated, but at the end here. I think their butt hits They find it later on water. I would hit every laser. How do we even know where you are? Visually the laser thing is actually really hard to follow Cuz it's just fucking confusing in the wide yeah some of them

hit one go through and some of them don't that guy has 360'd by the way someone said the other day putting a stick in the box

is putting the magazine into the gun yo so the stick is the magazine full of the bullets and then you put it into the box

but I thought a stick was a gun it's not a clip it's a magazine because they also call a gun a stick yeah they also But I thought a stick was a gun. It's not a clip. It's a magazine. Because they also call a gun a stick. Yeah, they also call a gun a stick. I don't know, man. Is this the evolution of slang?

I'm going to go up pole. Dudes who shoot me shaking my mother on the street, they have a lot of words. They put the stick in the box. Who would win, Naruto or Breslin upping pole? Upping pole? Holding a gun. Oh, shit. Upping pole. Upping pole? Holding a gun. Oh, shit. Upping pole.

Upping pole. That sounds like a baby with a... Hydrogen bomb or Breslin with clean sheep heen? So, dude, do you see that one tweet about Mr. Beast? He was like... He was like, so I experimented with one of my videos recently. It's like less cuts. Like, we slowed it down a lot.

He's like, I feel really good about this. And I was like, yeah, dude, you're just like, you're just like making, you're just making less of a, of a zoomer product. Cause I remember he had that one tweet way before where he was like, why torture ourselves by watching movies? And I was so mad. Is that a real tweet? Yes.

No, here it is. Oh my God. That's awesome. What? And by the way, this video takes place in space because the last video we accidentally blow up an entire planet and no, it's not CGI. This is 100% real. That's funny. Wait, he's actually a beast.

I mean, yeah. He missed. That's the name. Stop. What if he changed his name? To what? What if he went for a rebrand? To like what?

Just Jimmy. Just Jimmy. If he changed his name to what what if you went for a rebrand to like what just Jason It's a very common YouTube thing actually yeah, just X just where that came from just me I think it's cuz like it's like the real it's again evolution to that the real I'm just Jimmy The people who do not the reals have been self-serving think on like

Vivo like when people would go like Ludwig Vivo well Vivo just had a fucking grip on the music industry because I think

musicians were just dumb but people were doing it for their personal Twitter's the joke oh yeah they'd be like slime Vivo yeah I was

Kenny Loggins Vivo for a while at the time it probably hit. It was so funny 10 years ago. I'm glad it's done. Well, look, we need cultural touchstones, and now Mr. Beast is one. And that one's a little more slippery and wet, like a little tiny baby otter now, right?

Big panda egg. I rewatched some clips from Step Brothers. Yeah? He used to be so funny. Will Ferrell? Will Ferrell. I mean, I know it holds up i it was still i was still chuckling dude we watched holiday at night in the hotel yeah i think still good still good

and i was like oh my god dude to my girlfriend we should be shake and bake this year it'd be so funny and she was like i'm down you cannot buy a shake and bake costume they are sold out everywhere i tried so hard they got a grip on how like amazon halloween stores like they're all sold out but you can only get one in like november you gotta do six months in advance i know bro i was like why are people still do people like what are do halloween goers like ricky bobby some people get really into halloween and it's just for one night and or i guess it's a couple nights a couple parties but a couple nights a couple parties one night to remember also I've thought of this holidays are the weekends

of the year holidays damn are the weekends of the year I think you're right weekends are too weekends are also the weekends of the year

the weekend of the week yeah that's right thank you yes holidays are the weekend of the year Aiden clip it's the weekend

it is the weekend Aiden I was at a fucking nervous breakdown the other day what happened Aiden we. It's the weekend. It is the weekend. Aiden was at a fucking nervous breakdown the other day. We come in, we do the fucking decom. I got mad at him. And he got mad at me and I didn't do anything. Did he not do anything? He didn't do it. Is it because you hit a mortal and you feel like you're better than everyone

now because you hit a mortal? No. Do you think you're better than me? Do you think you're better than him? At Valorant? Oh, so now he does. You think you're better than me at Valorant? At Valorant. Oh, you think that. This is what it's like to be not a me. This is what it's like to be against me.

Just to be clear, at Valorant. Do you think that? Do you think that? I mean, I do think I'm better than you at Valorant. That's crazy. Do you think you're better than me? At Valorant? At Valorant.

Yeah. Do you think you're better than him? Do you think you're better than him? Yeah. No. No? No, you don't. You don't think I'm better than him, huh? At Valorant. Yeah. So you think you're better than him? Do you think you're better than him? Yeah. No. No? So you don't. So you don't.

I'm better than you. You're better than him. Because you can't be equal. You can't be equal. I mean, it's hard to quantify, right? You're close enough. You'd find something with an edge. So I probably have the edge.

You probably have a tiny, slight, slight baby edge. Slight baby edge. So you think you're better than me? 55-45? 55-45. It's not bad. 5% edge is crazy. Is it?

It's kind of crazy. Re-election cycle, that'd be nuts. That's a landslide. That's a landslide. That's a 10-point win. That's tens of millions of votes. That's tens of millions. So you think you're tens of millions of votes better than me in Valorant?

Why do you freak out at him? He freaked out because he came and he was like, Dude, I was just at the Spirit Halloween to get a costume. Oh, you made fun of him for being late? No, no, no. He's like, I was at the Spirit Halloween to get a costume okay you made fun of me late no no no i was he's like i was spirit halloween to get a costume and there's a line like fucking out the door and i'm like and i'm on my phone i'm like you didn't order orber i said orber so you orber your costume did you and then he's like no i didn't because you guys fucking made fun of me

because i already had a costume and he's like starts freaking out and i'm like and i don't back down from situations like this i was like yeah and i'd do it again because because we did make fun of him because he spoiled the costume he had the soccer player one and that was why we were like we roasted him right on the show yes like you can't wear the same costume because you already said it and he's like oh and and then i threw in a jab. I was like, well, also the costume is just a guy. I'm also still on my phone. He's like, most costumes are just a guy. Most of them are just a guy.

Tell me a costume that's not just a guy. And I was like, I don't know. Skeleton. Hitler Skeleton is not just a guy. Hitler Skeleton is a guy. It's the internal parts of a guy. Look, you were dumb for going to the Spirit Halloween. And then we lifted the mountain

That was the D&D table bonded over trauma, and I cooled down I could solo it dude. You can you not so you seen what I squat you Screaming no for the past Is at least 250 pounds. I put that up. I know, I know, but it's not conveniently on a bar that you can hold it to sleep. What about my squat? What about my squat?

Your squat? Yeah. How are you going to squat this? Are you going to put a fucking backpack strap on it? I'm going to go underneath it with my back, and I'm going to stand up. Like Atlas. Dude, you're going to die. I'm going to go-

You will. You will die. If Ludwig does do this, The D&D show will start Next year in March And if he does not do this We'll stay on track For December How about that

Ludwig will have to also Be in a wheelchair Because his spine will snap I'm gonna fuck him He'll be in a wheelchair And the table will be Broken in half What if

What if we What if we did a little Halloween leaky bear For D&D What if we just said Our character names No No

Yeah why would we say Everything that's gonna happen In the show This is the worst idea ever. Why are we talking about it so much? My character's name is Stonebeard. You already leaked, yeah. I've already leaked this. My character's name is Stonebeard, and I'll

leak more, too. And he's got the smallest penis in all of the land. He does not have that. It's crazy. Ludwig fought for that. I think that's appropriate. I didn't talk about penis size. I think it's appropriate for a D&D. The lore doesn't really matter. I said, let's keep it a mystery. Tiny penis, so small, almost look like three ball. And he says, my guy's Stonebeard, and he's 6'5", and he has the smallest penis.

I don't know. His penis size, he's 6'5", though. But when he goes berserker, it becomes the biggest penis. No, it becomes slightly a little bit bigger. And he's, like, pretty big. But it's not a boner. But it's not a boner. He's a slightly bigger flounder. What do you think, lads? And everyone's like, damn, Brode's not a boner. It's a slightly bigger flask.

What do you think lads? And everyone's like damn bro. That's great. So small. Well, thanks for watching the yard. Tune into the premium. I'm going to lift a table the size of a mountain and make Aiden guffaw. The time flies when we're had in time. I'll if you I'll kiss you if you move it. I don't want that. I get to punch you in the face. Dream Ludwig would want that. I get to punch you in the face. Dream Ludwig would want that. I get to shoot you with a skull with a gun. Being able to lift it is fine. But being able to carry it from where it had to go to where it is now, that's the real challenge.

You're just thinking, oh I lift it off the ground and I'm fucking Alice. Like who cares? I'm gonna lift it and I'm gonna bring it down. Hey, comment below everyone. Who won the costume contest between us? Who do you think is the best of us? Yeah, was it the guy whose costume ended five seconds into the video? Or Aiden's. God, I could give you a deal of a lifetime.

Or Ludwig's or mine. Hey, thanks for watching. We'll see you in the Primo where we do your costume contest. And we also post pictures of your mom because we all have one. Sexy no jutsu. Goodbye.

Fine.