The Yard - Ep. 123 - His Personal Assistant Exposed The Truth (ft. Nick Yingling)

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

This week, the boys are joined by Nick Yingling! The boys discuss a new patreon goal, how the boys are doing in the $150,000 COD tournament, and how aiden went on a long acid trip with his cosmonaut friends...

what's up hey everyone welcome to the yard podcast and i know it's an intro that we usually that early yeah that's right we delay that because we do and the reason why is because I wanted to welcome on our very very friend Nick Yingling our very very friend I just don't want to use the word good because he fucking snapped at me

today you are not doing your job literally your only job I love this little game of cat and mouse i'm gonna put a fucking hole in the wall me and nick yingling play it's just a little game of cat we're we're like two army generals you know that you see that big weight that that glass door it's going through we're gonna put that way through that door to break your home don't home I suffer for his mistake it was cool for both of you for him it sucks I wouldn't do that look the yes he would he

actually would I have been assigned to sign postcards for her like highest member patreon members and with little cute messages, and there's like how many like 20 yeah of them to less. There's all there's less than 20 You haven't done okay Game of cat and mouse Four weeks ago, and I gave half to Nick and half to slime though Nick signed so most Devouted fans of ours, if you're wondering why your card hasn't arrived yet. And I keep forgetting.

I've texted him. I'm literally being so annoying too. I've texted him so many times. And then I tell Aiden, I was like, you should bug slime too. And Aiden's like, okay, man, I'll do it. It's like he's my other half, right? Like what is white without black?

You know, what is... What is a dog without a cat? He only has to serve Ludwig all day, who I'm assuming reads no messages. Yeah, well, I'm to serve crack. And then he comes... Imagine your girlfriend's like a barista, and she comes home, and you're like,

can you make me some coffee? You're doing that to him. Like, he comes to hang out with his friends. He really is nothing close to my girlfriend, because the shit he does in bed would make a whore blush. No, show your work. No, no, no. So your girlfriend is bad in bed.

She's vanilla. And Yingling is nothing like her because she rocks your world. Okay, so typically women... I tricked you out. Typically, ladies of the night, which is what Yingling is, have advanced maneuvers that a monogamous sort of stable... Because if I'm a bit of a lore head, because he's been tricking out for so long.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, and so, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yingling, so I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I do want to say that he does things on it that would make a whore blush. You know, we've been playing a lot of Call of Duty

with Hitch over at Optic, and he likes the yard, but he does not know who Nick Yingling is at all. So he's met Nick Yingling as of recent, and he goes, you know, Yingling, I always imagined you as sort of like a suit and tie type of guy because what because the way they talk about you on the pod like they're always they're always talking about tricking you out i thought maybe you'd be like a really sort of stand-up guy like suit and tie sort of like like uh i don't know like like the manager from metal

and we're and we're tricking like tricking him out meaning like we're we're breaking this guy who's normally very... Wow. Which is like the farthest thing from the truth. And what is in front of Hitch's eyes if he has the YouTube video pulled up is a guy dressed like a longshoreman. A guy who every five seconds says, Hitch, you dropped your pocket. Dude, Hitch, no, I'm trying to get Hitch so bad because every now and then Hitch will just be like, Yeah, it's kind of like... Oh my god.

If you like shine in melee or something. Dude, he's just like, yeah, it's kind of like Falco or something like that. And Nick's like, Nick Yingling, you have to ignore me. I'll be like, hey, Hitch, what's the best AR in the game? He goes, well, the Holger's kind of like Marth in melee. Dude, he does this. Shut up! And I'm responding in a real way.

And Nick's like please stop I keep telling Yingling just don't reply when he talks you stop talking and then we talk to each other he keeps going how's it like Marth I would do that cause like you're just letting the guy who's like being kind of cringe

who's great he's just a wonderful sweetie but he's being cringe he dropped his pocket at the tournament he did yeah you know so you just let him keep going and that's good i real quick though i want to circle back to this this game of cat and mouse that we play i what this i'm saying it on the podcast to hold me accountable and i will all the ones i have to do i I will do them this week. Do them today. You can do them on the episode.

Do we have it here? It takes so much time. Dude, you can write quotes that we say. I'll do them this week. It's not like when we had hundreds and hundreds. It takes 10 minutes. I'll do them this week. And then on them.

Oh, please get back on 5 Ants. Please. I will. Please, for the love of god Please pop in 10 mg Oh, that was kind of dope Your shields are so low What do they say?

Put me on dope I got some dope from that I will write a fun fact about myself That no one else knows On each of these As a way to make up for this little game of cat and mouse. Do you think that you can think of ten fun facts about

yourself that I don't know? Yeah, maybe not that fun. But not fun enough. I could dig into my childhood. Okay, yeah. I haven't shared everything with you guys. I think you have dark secrets. I think I win the slime quiz. Dark private room. No, I don't have

dark secrets for you for me me and Aiden have secret dark times dude this morning I was in the room

this morning I walk out into like our living room to Aiden and I'm wearing almost nothing and I go

sup Aiden here I am and he's like oh yeah you look good and I turn around and I'm like how about this

and I'm showing him I'm poking my ass out for him and you know what he says you know what he says you look like mr. Game and watch It's just true little does he know he does she hurt my feelings so there has been a in the spirit of that There's been a sort of an invisible war happening in terms of the discussion of Nick's ass or the lack of their Zipper to bust into the kitchen like Kramer and she's like a did sexualize my boyfriend

She didn't say I need you to sexualize my what do you want me to do? Yeah, it does take up a lot of that that sexual energy But it's because he's got a big juicy dumper, like two big hams trapped. He's getting so large. He's to the point where he only wants to wear crop tops and tank tops so he can show his body. He hit Thousand Pound Club.

He hit it. Yeah, right before he left to go on vacation. That's where he is now. He's with his family and his beautiful mother. And he left, and he was in such a good mood, because he hit the thousand-pound club Yeah, I'm that day. He said bye to me and shit that day. Do that's crazy He like found me and was like hey, I'm gonna go home, and I'm like what you're telling me I gotta go look like on the timelines like oh, we're saying bye now at the office squat. He's gonna wait

Oh, well, let me do that cuz he's happy he does he does that to me sometimes Because he likes me more right now. well, we did that cuz he's happy he does he does that to me sometimes because he likes me more right now No, I believe that But he wakes up and text me good morning every day So I mean zipper to sent me no the last thing I talked to her in DMS She got me a gift which is very nice It was a it was an oil painting of a bear about to shoot himself on a beach which was very cool and she she's like oh slime would love this last thing i talked to her was when she

was like hey can i come over and give this to you a month later she just raw sends me a picture of nick i'll show you guys i i'm not gonna give it to zipper this is nick with his, with his boxer briefed ass to the camera. I'll do one of these. I'll show them. I was kind of like you in my morning. Like,

yeah, yeah. He's like giving a big stretch and what appears to be an ass, but, but science may never know. Science may never know. Why is everyone roasting Nick's ass? Well,

how did this begin? I forget. I think we talked about it in the pod. I think Slime, they were all just saying I had no ass, and I was just defending myself out of principle. Everyone is beating your ass. I know, get ass. They're trying to.

Beating what is there to beat. She says to me what, it's just like a like a God it's like a mirror There's just nothing And so I said there's nothing there at all And then she just didn't reply So I think she's mad Wait does she claim there's something there? Is that her defense?

I think she is claiming that As a good wife Every morning I wake up And she like She like grabs them like this And she goes, they're just so round. I'm like, you don't have to say that.

You don't have to do that. She's like, I don't know why they don't see it. She's going to start going overboard. You wake up in the morning, you start walking around, and she's like, oh, wow, two big planets are in front of me. She's gonna start going overboard Like you wake up in the morning You start walking around She's like Oh wow Two big planets Are in front of me She drops a pencil

Like can you grab that for me So yeah You'll get there soon Lil pup We'll get you some We'll get you a BBL Is that why Is that why you've been working

Down there alone sometimes Finally Finally A new Patreon goal 35,000 It's been a while 35,000 BBL. Is that why you've been working down there alone sometimes? Finally, a new Patreon goal. $35,000. It's been a while. $35,000. We'll get to BBL for real.

Aiden gets tits at 40. Let's make that one the first one. You're too invested in that one. Don't. Don't. Go over here. Don't bark at it. Go over here, honey. Don't sink it over here. I'm at it go over here honey don't sink

get over here I'm like an ad executive in the 70s I'm covering up come here honey I've learned I've learned that Dark Yingling is out now

because so me and Yingling we talked about it a lot recently but we've been in a Call of Duty tournament and and

since we've started playing Call of Duty our good friend Dawson has played with us and before Dawson has played with us. And before Dawson started playing with us, me and Yingling were on grind mode. We're talking about the game. I'm like, Yingling, check out this new spot I found.

He's like, oh shit, it's a good spot. We're, you know, we're gelling. And then Dawson gets involved. And all of a sudden I'm like, hey Yingling, check out this spot. He goes, no, I don't play there. Dawson says that? No, Yingling says this. And I'm like, but if you play here, you get the added bonus. He's like, no, I'm just going to play here.

No, I'm not going to play there. And I'm like, and then I immediately realized the only difference is that Dawson is involved now. And I tell Yingling, Dawson's changing you. He's making you worse. And Yingling's like, no, he's not. Dawson's a good guy. No, no one says that. And then like two hours later, he goes, you're right about Dawson.

With Dawson in the call, he says, you're right about him. And Dawson's like, wait, what? What is he right about? And then I start right about Dawson. With Dawson in the call, he says, you're right about him. And Dawson's like, wait, what? What is he right about? What do you guys mean? And then I start barking at Dawson. And Dawson's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, so England just turned dark because Dawson got involved. And I said, dude, the same thing that's happening to Yan is happening to you.

Yeah, he is Dawson. No, no, no. He's a poison on the mind. Be simple. No, Yan is way fucking deeper in the fucking minds than I will ever be. I don't think that's true. It is! No, Yan's finding his way out of the mind.

No, he's not! He is. Shake Drizzle keeps taking him to fucking bars and parties and shit. Yeah, that's good. Burger Yan takes on the world. That's a good thing. What I'm saying is- The time's- The time's-

You guys are wrong! Ludwig- Ludwig doesn't know this, but I but I asked him for models for an upcoming merch shoot. I'm like, who of your, like, you know, influencer friends would you like to participate? And then he lists, like, he lists fake people and then Shake Drizzle as, like, a joke because he doesn't want to answer the question. But I've asked Shake to just show up at the shoot and model. Dude, that's funny. And I was like, fine, fine, we're going to have Shake's, we're going to just show up at the shoot. I'm not a model. Dude, that's funny. I was like, fine, fine. We're going to have Shake's.

We're going to put Shake's body to work. He's looking nice. I mean, he is looking nice. He's actually stopped eating McDonald's, and he talked about it in the boys' Discord. He was like, my gains are going away. I need to eat more. He's actually the real burger of the house.

Yeah, he's always been on the, you can eat whatever you want type beat but you will feel like shit if you eat like mcdonald's enough so it's how you would know yes that's how he used to live he used to live a very polite lifestyle polite the editor they were kind of in sync right like across across the the land they would both eat mcdonald's like stay up till 5 a.m gamble except with polite with Polite it was, like, it was hentai, which is the same psychological response. They both earn you money. Yeah, they both earn you money at a chance, at a wager.

But then Shake, like, got his shit together and started working out. And he was telling me, because we were working out, and he was, like, I was telling Ludwig, like, I'm a no mega lol or i'm a who mega lol but like i would box you and i was like i would box you too and i was like me and shake chess boxing that'd be fucking beast is that why he keeps replying to you with boxing glove pictures of himself of calling me a pussy yeah i mean i didn't want to say it but he does also call you a pussy it's part of it yeah he has been talking sweet in the me and Yan and him group chat in our house chat. He's getting a little alpha on you guys? Dude, he's been- no, no, he's been saying I would beat the fuck out of Sly.

He just says it to us. He does just say it. Really? He's like a verbal tick. Shake looks so strong until you see him get in a fighter pose. And he looks like he's's running from a bee. Dude, he looks like in a cartoon when someone's... Like when a wolf loses all of their fur

and they just have heart-shaped boxers and they're just shivering. That's exactly what Shake looks like when you square up at him. It's like Wile E. Coyote post-explosion. He's like, bing, bing, bing, bing. I don't know what it is. He just turns into putty. How many consecutive episodes has there been a shake catches? Oh, maybe ten

He's involved right now, you know, which is unfortunate for us because he's gonna see this me like dude tricks on it I kill slime Relax Matus, I mean you probably. All right, relax, Matus. I mean, you probably would. I mean, what's it like living with Shake?

He asked me and Yan to play Rivals all the time and both of us say no. All the time. That's crazy. Do you know what's so funny is that house, so it's Yingling,

Yan, and Shake. Yan is always like, yeah, I wish everyone wanted to hang out. Shake also says, I wish the other guys wanted to hang out.

And Newling says, I say no to hanging out. I'm real about it. I will say no, but they won't hang out with each other. It's crazy. What is it? Because they both, they're like, I wish the other guys want to hang out. And they both obviously do. Yeah, someone's capping.

See, I just want a game. That's my thing. And I tell them this. And so they know my honest answer. I don't know why they don't want to hang out with each other. They only hang out if they hit the roof. And then after they hit the roof, they both go to their rooms and they do separate things. Is the roof where a big smoke happens?

Yes. Okay. I have not hit the roof in like three months. No! Are you better for it? Who's to say? You haven't smoked weed in three months? Since weed about it.

Zipper made a sound. That was like maybe the most incredulous you've ever sounded a zipper. It's weed about it. That's the last time. So weed about it changed your fundamentals of your brain chemistry. No, I think I've been leaning off it for a while now.

It's just like, I don't know. I just don't want to smoke weed. What do you do to relax, bro? Do you fucking drink? I just go to sleep now and game. You don't fucking get little drunk. I sleep. I drink water.

I game. Sometimes I just got, it's just a stressful day, bro. A lot of people are like, do this, do that. I'm just like, all right, well, I don't want to smoke weed anymore. And then there's our little game of cat and mouse. If you bring up the cat and mouse game, I'm going to fucking break every light in this room. Oh, dude. Oh, my God.

Speaking of using drugs to cope, fucking Josh, man. This was last night. This was insane. He comes in pissed off, like Kramer, like a sitcom. He opens the back door, and he just stomps in. I'm reading on the ground because I read now. And he's like, I can't fucking do it, man. And I'm like what josh

what what's wrong and he's like and i'm going to use a normal accent for the rest of this and he said he's like i fucking i go i up throw marth he's playing zane on oh no when i asked him i was like who mixed you young man come here let me see who mixed you and he's like i don't want to see he's got like a black eye And he was like I'll throw the Marth He SDIs out And then he hits me Out of the air And I die for it

And it's not fair It's not fair And he's just like He's just like Stamping around Like a child You can't throw Up air Marth anymore

I learned like Three months ago You can't Geo told me When I was playing Like three months ago Starting to play again He's like

You don't get to do that anymore Apparently Josh didn't Learn this lesson from Geo Who play again. He's like, you don't get to do that anymore. I was like, what do you mean? Apparently Josh didn't learn this lesson from Gio, who is now off in the pizza dimension. We don't know. He's just like stamping around. He's sad, man. And I'm like, I don't know.

He's like, they either get out of your combo or they're ossified and they just run around and they don't approach and the game's fucking broken. He's like, I'm in a crisis. And I'm like, so it was Zayn who mixed you come here sweetie could have been Kadori and he's like no it was I see Zayn's mother at the PTA meeting don't worry talk to her and so he's like I can't fucking do this I'm like all right and then he leaves like a like a fucking stage play

and then I get a message from him He's like, do you want to go Walk with me to the liquor store to get zins The fuck is a zin? A zin is a The pillows, the chewing tobacco It's mouth tobacco, you don't chew it It's nicotine, you just put it in here

This is bad coke We cannot enforce this habit That's like dip It comes in a little pouch and there's no like mess. It's just like a. Bro, just smoke cigarettes, you fucking pussy. What? Thank you.

Thank you. And so, and so I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. I'm busy right now. And he's like. I'm reading my book. Yeah. I was just like, I don't want to go for a walk right now. You're in a pretzel formation on the carpet.

100%. That's exactly what it was. And then he's like, fine. And so he comes through the house again, puts on his shoes. He's like, I guess no one cares about me. Shuts the door. He's being melodramatic, and he's joking. But he was.

He did go to the store, and he comes back. And apparently he's talking with SFOP, who is a player, a good Fox brother from Texas, and they talk a lot. And SFOP is hip to the Zin. I mean, yeah. Zin out of his mind doing a hundred multi-shines in the middle of a tournament game. Waiting for Hulk to come down to the fucking platform. So I don't hear from Josh until this morning.

No, no, no, no. It was last night. It was like a couple hours. He goes to bed pretty early. It was like midnight. I'm shaving my pubes in the bathroom and listening to music. Right. It's just, you know, it's boy city, right?

That's what you do. What song are you playing? I was playing. I was listening to this group called Sir Chloe a lot. Like indie stuff. It's really good. It's very calm and peaceful. Yeah.

This is not dude world. You're being. No, it's a mixture. You're being a female. I'm shaving my pubes Only guys have pubes Only guys We're both wrong somehow Women don't have pubes

We disagree with each other We're both wrong Right It's amazing I've never seen them So you're shaving your pubes No no All female pubes

Got taken Like They got taken off In the 90s Yeah Collectively Before that, Bush City.

And then legislation was enacted. Yeah, thank God Bill Clinton stepped up for all of us. And he said, I know these pussies are going to have hair on them again. Oh my god. Alright. By the power invested in me. You're powering through

United States of America You're powering through your pew. We're United States of America. Okay. That man is known for running the- So I'm powering through my pews with a Manscaped. This isn't even a paid segment. I was literally using it. Aw, dude, the Manscaped razor goes crazy. It goes crazy.

I use it for a flashlight in the house sometimes. Attaching it to a gun. It's really good for chasing swans. They've added so much into Modern Warfare 3 3 you're playing like Nicki Minaj with your fucking Nicki Minaj you know you can turn the character model right bro. It's crazy It's a we boot up I boot up the street every time I boot up the stream next like hey Hey, look at look at this and then turns Nikki to the side because he knows he can't do it in real life. And you can also zoom.

Wait, so Nicky, okay, sorry, I'm catching up. Nicky Minaj's player model is in Call of Duty. You can play as her. And kill her. And 21 Savage. Shirtless 21 Savage. Dude, that's crazy. Dude, the game has like, I'll get back to your story.

But the game has finishing moves. So if you run up to someone and you hold knife when you're behind them, it puts them in a cut scene where you can like kill them really extravagantly. But you can do it with any character model with any finishing moves. You can combine any two. So I have like a spawn finishing move where you pull out like a huge hammer, crack their head open and then you curb stomp them and their brain comes out and splits in two and then bats fly out but i do it with nikki minaj and she's actually canon she's in like healed boots and the model her model her ass is so large like when you do certain finishing moves the camera just gets distracted because it's just all ass for the whole cutscene because it's just

A different model than it was built for yeah, and then people in the game will be like I just beat Really serious GV matches which has a crash bandit grenade It's so good Everything all right continue your pubis my pubes and Josh Josh comes in and I have the door slightly open, and he just knocks. And I'm like, what's up? And he just hears music playing and, like, no shower, and I open. You open.

I'm just covering my dick. And I'm like, what's up? What's up, man? He's like, he got down. And he described it later, like he was downed in fortnight he was just like kneeled in front of me like he kneeled in front of me and he was like i got the nick shits man i got a shit what the fuck and i'm like all right do you need to use the bathroom he's like yeah i'm like okay so i like you know stopped what i was doing and i let like all right do you need to use the bathroom he's like yeah i'm like okay so i like

you know stopped what i was doing and i let him go shit and uh and he was in there forever and then uh he gets out staggers back goes into his hole and uh and i go back in the bathroom it smelled terrible and i'm like okay well i gotta finish my job and uh and so so the next morning i talked to him like what's going on kiddo he's like okay for one i had insane nightmares for two i had a three dot and i felt fine and then i put another one in i know and i was like you've got packed the fuck is it and he's like yeah so oh sorry boomer sorry zins and and these these uh these mouth tobaccos have levels of intensity, and they're defined by a dot. One, two, three, four.

I think, isn't three the most? I think four is the most. I think I've heard there have been rumors of five and six dot in like the Norway issue. Yeah, but you need security clearance for that. Yeah, you need DMS. They're basically like how to unlock Mew in SSBM. It's like no one actually has seen it. The six dot is under the truck so he does

three which is pretty high three's pretty high for a guy who doesn't do it and he was like yeah that's right and then he puts another one in his mouth apparently and he he basically said all night he just like was just in like this fucked up haze where he was just like tossing and turning and then he had to take a shit which i saw and then he came back in his room and he had nightmares for the rest of the night and then he i saw him in the morning we're drinking coffee i was like all right well you know what what why did you do that and he's like i thought you would stop me i was like i'm not your fucking dad dude crazy i wanted you to touch the i knew it was a stupid idea but i said i wanted you to touch the stove and know it was hot. Also, why don't you just get drunk like a normal fucking person when you're upset?

And then he looked at me and genuinely said, it hurts my tummy. He's just a little baby. I was like, all right, that's crazy. So basically, Josh went through this whole existential crisis of Marth hitting him out of a combo, that he does everything right and he can't ever do anything. But then he got upset and then went to the store, got Zin's. S-Fop told him, do three, don't do another three. But if you do, it'll hurt really bad.

And then he did. And then S-Fop was like, did you get the shits? He was like, yeah, I got the shits. Hitting someone with a combo that gives them a addiction in real life is like a fatality. Zin. It's like Josh got hit so hard by Marth, he started wiggling around and then started doing fucking nicotine. Yeah, exactly. And he SDI'd a fucking pillow into his mouth Zane just has to put the kid gloves on next time. Be nice to the boy. Speaking of doing drugs to cope again I got a DM yesterday at 1 p.m. From Aiden that says I'm on acid. I'll explain later

What? Oh, 1 p.m.? On a Sunday? 1 p.m. on God's day. He says, I'm on acid. He goes, Nick, I'm on acid. I'll explain later. And never talked about it to me again. There's an explanation.

Okay. Where were you? I would hope so, young man. Okay. One, it lasts a long time. It lasts a long time. Yeah, so long time I have never done it before I really I did I did in high school and almost jumped in a fire pit Three of my friends we were dude it was my birthday and my friend of fire pit And what my other friend dude asking was like we should jump in the fire pit and there's like 20 of us go swimming in fire world other people literally put the fire out and so we would

not jump in the fire yeah what a bunch of bummers but we walked to like the mountains and there were these bushes and we both just jump and fall back into the bushes and we're we're just laying there and we've fucked up the bushes real bad in someone's front house. And our friends are just trying to get us to fucking leave, but we will not leave because we just want to stare at the stars. Right.

Because of the acid in your mind. Yeah. So why do you want to ask that? Did you do that? I didn't jump in a bush. Okay. And I didn't want to jump in fire. Okay.

I went to, I was with a group of people. I went to, I was with a group of people. I went to a park and I, I, I, it kicks, it's kicking in. It is, I don't think there's a good way to describe all of it, but I, I'm, I am tripping very hard. It's the middle of the day. It is like, it's the middle of the day. I hate his little cosmonaut friends, bro. I know, what the fuck is this?

Your little fucking stupid ass fucking... He's gonna come home with like a white girl with dreadlocks one day. It's like she's a rapper. Zipper's asking how much you took. Uh, a hundred, a hundred micrograms? Okay. I don't know. I don't know.

Damn. No. It wasn't just like a tab. It was a fucking cosmonaut fucking pussy ass tab. Okay, okay. A pussy ass fucking acid eater. It has like a picture of Donald Trump on the tab and a fucking pussy ass tab. Okay, okay. A pussy ass fucking acid eater. It has like a picture of Donald Trump on the tab and you just put it on. Yeah, yeah.

Or like Rick and Morty but as cats. Yes. It's not a bad experience, but I'm fucking, I'm going through it. Yeah. And eventually I realized that I have to go to the bathroom. But I'm in the middle of everything and I'm walking by people in the park to get to the bathroom that's that's hard to deal with and they're just all

pyramids just being around human beings they're all talking in simlish to him I go pee and I'm having the typical drug users thoughts of going pee which is like oh man can I do this like I'm going to have I done this too long is this a

normal amount of time to pee is it gonna be over yet but meanwhile you're just peeing normal the whole time yeah and then i leave the bathroom and i have to wait for somebody to come out the person i came with and i check my phone for the first time that day and i open discord just habitually and i see your message in the discord group about yingling coming on yeah and in my head i'm like i have to reply to this because i need to tag you yeah i need i have to answer this text i do not want to answer it because it is taking all of my brain power to focus on my screen you replied replied pretty normally, I checked. Yeah, yeah. And it is, was, I wrote this down later,

but it was literally the hardest thing in the world to type to get out 11 yingling good. Yeah, you did put that. It was just. I had no idea. It was unfathomably difficult to type that message. If I was your mom, I'd be like, oh, okay. What was difficult about it?

Because every time you like, every time you're, everything's fucking moving for one. The words on the screen do move. But every thought you have is turning into like this like trail of thoughts that is like taking you away from the task at hand. So it's like, I'm like halfway through typing Yingling, like I'm getting to Ying, and I'm thinking about other shit already. And you have to like pull yourself back again and again to like type a message. And it's really difficult to type this.

And I, in the moment, I was like, I don't want Anthony to know I'm on acid. So I'll message Nick. I'll message Nick. What, like I'm going to scold you? I wouldn't make fun of you. I messaged Nick and I managed to type just Nick. And I send it and I'm like, oh no. I'm like, oh no, what have I done? Because I cannot type more. But i've just messaged him nick

and i'm like i'm at war internally i'm like i've left him hanging but we have to like walk walk back over there and i'm still everything's just fucking moving yeah and and uh i i finally we're walking back like through the park i'm dealing with people again again. It's like, it's just like, I don't, there's like people around. You just don't want to be around people really. And I'm figuring out, I'm like, what can I tell Nick right now that like synthesizes my thoughts?

And I'm like trying, I'm like at war with my fingers to try to get something out. And all I can think of is like, explain tomorrow. And then that's what I managed to type out and i'm like this solves the problem and i put my phone away ignored it for the rest of the day wow and then what else did you do all day um did you watch akira four times i stayed at the park for for like probably like seven did you count the hours in the sky the cool things were like I listened to a lot of music and I didn't know that like stuff you listen to um you get really lost in it and like the music will like affect what you see

visually which I thought was really interesting are you bored do we not give you enough yeah you know honey like we like we give you i think we give you a lot you have an xbox and a playstation you have an xbox your friends at school don't have that you know you you get good grades you play sports we you never go hungry and i feel what what is it that you guys don't create random words that move on my screen when I look at my phone. Yeah. They have faces. I'm just wondering what is the- what outlet are you looking for? What am I supposed to do? Fucking come to your house and we hit it mish for the fucking hundredth time?

And I'm supposed to be sold on that? I'm exploring. I'm exploring myself. Well, as your mother, I would love if you came in and hit it mish every once in a while. You know, I never see you anymore. Mother's Day once a year isn't enough. I just... I'm wondering, what is in the Aiden's mind, as someone who is locked out of the prospect of doing drugs recreationally,

what makes you think Sunday is the day? Oh, the day of almighty Christ, but sure, also just a weekend. Today's the day I'll do acid with my cosmonaut friends. I scheduled it. I planned this like two months ago. What the fuck? You planned to do acid two months in advance? Yeah.

Like a fucking calendar event? Yeah. You know who was supposed to come? Dude, when I checked the calendar, I got Sunday? Yeah. You know who was supposed to come? When I checked the calendar, I got Sunday Acid Day. You know who was supposed to come? Shake. You know what he said? We benched. Yeah. He said he didn't get enough sleep,

which is good. I think it's one of those things where if you're feeling off or anxious or you're in a bad place in life, it's probably not a good thing to do. And he just had a bad night of sleep and he didn't want to do it anymore jake would be like defeating at defeating like duck sized slimes like little ghosts just coming at him he'd be like that would be his whole trip for seven hours it was he'd lose i was sad i wanted him to be there but uh that's you know if he if he wasn't feeling it why did you plan this out two

months in advance because a friend asked like hey do you want to do you guys want to do it together if hitler asked you to jump off a bridge and start the third reich would you do that young man if he had if he was nice enough to you and he had that hookup and he was polite and he tested him at porter tested it beforehand and he asked if my mental health is in a good place or if i have a family history of schizophrenia and I said no. Yeah.

Yeah. Then I would do it with Hitler. I think there's nothing in life that someone could ask me like, so before you do this, do you have a family history of schizophrenia?

And I would just do it still. Yeah, that is insane. I did a lot of reading. I did a lot of reading. I would be like, oh, this is involved with schizophrenia somehow. Wait, you read before you did it? Yeah, of course.

Maybe just as a kid, I just don't care. I lived it twice and just did not care. You did it when you were a teenager though, right? Yeah, I would say Day Acid, fucking miserable compared to Night Acid. Great time. I did Acid in the day, but I was also in school. And I remember I hit I hit algebra They're like we're doing word problems and suddenly the question is like this acid solution and the question

The whole question is just about acid solution. I was like it's time to go home So I asked for the bathroom pass and I walk home and I just lay in bed and listen to music Dude you want acid at school? Yeah, I thought it would be tight I thought it would be tight. That's how beasts do it, pussy boy. I thought it would make school way more cool, and then I realized, I'm gonna have a bad trip and someone's gonna take me to jail. After yesterday, after yesterday, that would be horrifying.

I wish you would've went to jail. It was- I wish you would've gotten arrested on acid. For showing you a little date to people in the park. If Aiden called me and said I'm in jail, it might be the best day of my life. I would laugh so hard. It's like, oh, you got a Valorant in there? You bored? Please let me in.

Oh my god! He can't put his headphones in! You can't get a little coffee somewhere? Oh no! Oh, there's no Gucci blanket! They give you a Gucci cup on! Now he's just rich? Excuse me, rattling his cup on the bar. Excuse me, guard, do you have Givenchy for me? We give you everything.

You're out here doing acid in the park, young man. We do give you everything, young man. What a nice day. What a nice day. What drug would be chill if he did? That's a pill. Or like something. Adderall, fucking please.

Cocaine, baby. Give him some Adderall. I've never done coke. Coke actually scares me. I just want my boy to do two things at once. What? It will? You want him to do...

I just want him to be able to do two things at once. That's all I want. Imagine. I do need to try that. What you described of just having a thought trail as you're doing something, that's just how ADHD feels. Yes, it is what it feels. It was my ADHD enhanced. He doesn't have it. Except it turned into fucking... Yes, he does. Yes, it is what it feels. It was my ADHD enhanced.

He doesn't have it. Except it turned into fucking... Yes, he does. Yes, he does. I'm gatekeeping. He can't do two things at once. It turned into fucking... I'm gatekeeping.

Sure. And I'm a doctor. Pro, you're gatekeeping nothing. Fuck you, gatekeeping ADHD. Oh, you know what? You're not. Yeah, because he doesn't have it. He has it worse than you.

You don't even have it. I don't, but he has it worse. You can talk to me and use your phone. I am beast have it. He has it worse than you. You don't even have it. I don't, but he has it worse. You can talk to me and use your phone. I am beast with it. I can just multitask. Did acid fix you at all? No. Not at all.

Did you experience ego death? He went back to brown hair. Do you want to go to Disneyland and do ecstasy? You guys got to stop doing hard drugs, bro. I don't want to do it. You thought to Disneyland do ecstasy guys guys stop doing hard you thought about it I'll put it on the calendar no I made it two months in advance I do want to be all the reading if you die of a fennel overdose and they are going to clip this

fennel and ecstasy they might as well but they don't I don't know shit about anything these days I know a guy I'll count it no we got no fucking ecstasy But they don't. I don't know shit about anything these days. I know a guy. I'll calendar it. You know a guy? A fentanyl guy? No! Fucking ecstasy, you asshole!

Bro. I'll get shake too. I knew your time was up. What if shake goes? What if shake goes? If shake goes? No. No.

You and shake shouldn't be doing hard drugs. No. You and shake shouldn't be doing hard drugs. We give you everything. Your mother and I give you everything. Your mother and I give you everything. Your mother and I give you everything. You just said that he hits you mish as in you were his mother. thing. Your mom and this just saying. Your mother and I

give you everything. You just said that he hits you as if you were his mother. You're his mother too. We're his two gay moms. Okay, we're gay moms. That's fair. Listen, kids. I just want to hang out with Aiden again. I'm a good lad. Look, me and your mom are trying to scissor in the other room and you guys are on drugs.

It's about your brother now. Your brother wants to do drugs with you, and it's fuck mom and dad. Mom and mom. It's mom and mom. Who cares? It doesn't matter. You know what, that's good. We do live in a time where it shouldn't be a thing we focus on. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But that is how we simply express ourselves. Me and your mother scissoring in the lawn. I'll get Cousin Jake and Cousin Yan to hang out too. I don't know if I want to do Burger Cousin Yan. Ever since I stopped playing Val with you, you didn't want to hang out too. I don't know if I wanna do- Burger Cousin Yan? Ever since I started playing Valorant with you, you didn't wanna hang out anymore. Really? That's not true! Is that a really young man? Answer your brother. It's not true!

I wanna hang out. I do wanna hang out. But you don't hang out. You say you want to. Why do you wanna get acid fucked up with Shake, but when I wanna get fucked up, you don't wanna get fucked up? That's actually true. That's weird. You missed the day! You didn't invite me! You didn't invite him?! Yo... Dude! You invite Shake, you don't invite Ian-

It's crazy you invited Shake and not me, you know I do drugs! Did you invite- You do know he does drugs. Did you invite Burger Yan? I didn't invite- it didn't- Also, yeah! I do! What do you want from me? Zipper didn't get invited either. Did you invite Burger Yan? Why did Shake get the it didn't- Also, yeah! I do! What do you want from me?

Zipper didn't get invited either. Did you invite Burger Yan? Why does Shake get the invite? Actually, why does Shake get- Because he's got his cool fucking friends that are too fucking cool for you, Diggly! You think- you think Shake's gonna be gross? He's on that Shake fucking list, he's stronger than me with drugs? It's so gross!

They get in a circle, they're like, The new Odessa album literally ego-deathed me. I can see my mom's face in the sky now. And Aiden's just trying to suck his own dick, he's like, YEAH, T, totally! Did you invite Ludwig? No, I didn't invite Ludwig. I would've invited Ludwig.

I did not invite Ludwig. If I get a drug, I'm gonna invite Ludwig first. That's the kind of shit he's into now. He's into CEO shit where he wants to go do acid with Shake in the desert. I'm gonna ask him if he wants to go to Disneyland and do ecstasy with me. And he's gonna say yes. How do you imagine me doing ecstasy, man? I think it's...

Why is that where you draw the fucking line because it's always cut with some shit It's like you have to be you gotta be responsible You're gonna be in Park. What if Arrested you and you had a freak out in the car and shit your little I put you in handcuffs I'm not I'm not fucking I'm not spazzing out in the park I'm arrested you for trying to suck your own dick in the bathroom. True. Yeah, and you think you're peeing in the toilet while you're doing it.

I'm just peeing, officer! Disgusting. You disgust me. You disgust your mother and I. And your mother, yeah. We're gonna send her so much. Get up and get out of here. Get in the car.

Get in the car. Yeah, I just fucked my brother now. I can't believe, you know what, I didn't mean to disappoint you guys. I'll come around to scissor more often. That makes you feel better? No, I mean, we could... None of us are related. We are his mother.

Why is this the only alternative to doing drugs is scissor? It's coming over and scissoring. We just want to see you, sweetheart. That's all. it doesn't really matter what we're doing I'm very I'm honestly very confused by the role play

I'm not really sure where we are am I am I his son am I your wife you are my beautiful wife right

and I'm yours yeah this is our son that we have sex with is that what I'm hearing sometimes who is your son are you are you are you are that what I'm hearing? Sometimes. Who is you? Is he like watching?

I'm the adopted brother. Ever since there was an incident with the dryer, it was broken. Everything got really broken. It wasn't actually broken. It wasn't. How would you scissor stuck in the dryer

where you'd be like outside while he's fighting his way? I'm not even fucking do drugs, bro. I'm never gonna tell you guys anything again. You know what I will say? Of all the people I've talked to, hung out with after they've dropped acid, bro, you're actually pretty active the day after. Usually they're pretty drained.

Yeah. They're not very drained. You just laid down. What do you mean? I fell all tired. I got some good sleep. I've heard it's super mentally draining and you're just like ugh. But here you are being Eamon. It also, it appears the acid took all the blonde out of your hair. Yeah, yeah, it bleached it out.

So that's a little side effect. That also happens when you do it. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I got the smoothest balls in the room. Go ahead, go on. Are you full shave? Mm-hmm. Bru, it like... I always like... Every time I've ever done that, I regret it instantly. Because then it starts to itch and it starts to like hurt when it grows back.

Learn to shave better. Real. What? If I shave it fully clean, how do I shave better? Real. You don't shave fully clean. There's stubble. That's what I'm saying.

You shave a little stubble. I don't experience as much itching as you're talking about do you go down to gooch yeah bro and it doesn't like spiky hurt later uh no it doesn't dude the first time i ever shaved my pubes it was like it was like four years ago and uh it was because me and ben and my other two roommates were playing birrio and uh usually we try to say something really funny before we chug to make the other person not chug. And what I did was I pulled my pants down and helicoptered my dick in front of all of them. And the only person who laughed was Ben.

The other two were so strong warriors. They just fucking chugged their beer. And Ben goes, if you do not shave that, you have a fucking problem. And he's like you are the hairiest person I've ever seen in my life and I was like alright man so the next week I just shaved my fucking head out of shame yeah I got shamed dude I tried to make her laugh and I got shamed but Ben did laugh how old are you now 26 26 so you were the this was oh wait no this was whenever covet was

so maybe it was like three years ago okay what it's coming through you just let that nasty bush grow 2020 march 2020 yeah it was three years ago because we were stuck in the house playing every day we had we had your every day dude we had nothing everyone was off we had nothing ben and tommy were hotel or working in restaurant and casino business they got fucked and then me and Andrew were call center employees basically for the whole time

and at one point we had a whiteboard in our kitchen that tallied the winners and at some point Andrew thought that somebody was writing more numbers for Ben

than him and it got way too competitive and we didn't play beerio for like a month because everyone was in anger that's the amount of time you should have between a beerio session nobody should be drinking that much beer you know the big 24th Rex

yes and we had 7 of them stacked in our backyard and my dad had came over he was like why are you guys drinking so much and I was like so there's this thing called beerio cart and we drink a lot and then it hard cuts to everyone playing with the English dad dude what my dad wouldn't this my dad came we also you know I play rock band shit dude my dad got on the microphone and hit like a 4% on the microphone I mean I don't know

they respect him cuz he's your dad? I mean, they laughed, obviously, and they respected him, but it was just really funny. If I met your dad, I'd say, wug one. Burio's one of those, like, one of the only games that the better you are at it, probably the less, it's like the worse it is for you. Yeah, it damages you. Yeah. It's a Pyrrhic victory. Dude, we played, we went to Vegas And we played Burial And then

We hung out in the casino For a while And then Ben and Shake Were playing At an NFL street Or whatever And Shake Oh I feel bad

I don't know I don't know If I should actually I just feel bad Shake Same with Shake Shake goes to throw up And he doesn't go to the toilet

He throws up in the sink Okay That's normal. It's a bowl. It's not easy to get all of the chunks down the sink. And Ben was just fucking furious. Because he's like, how did you not make it to the... It's right next to it.

You guys brought the beerio set up to Vegas? Dude, we always bring... You know how there's a thing where it's like, where's the coolest place you've played Melee? It's the same thing with beerio. Okay. Where is the play I'm over answered that question in a coolest place you played melee Isn't it? No, I only have not cool places me. What is going on? I swear to God I'm gonna fucking fart right now. I'm gonna turn it off. This is disgusting.

It's going. Please, please. For the love of God. Relax. For the love of God. I know it's Ludwig. You should put a special ringtone for Ludwig.

Read out exactly what he just sent you. Now. We'll repeat it back in the mic. Do it, Yingling. He's not gonna do it. It wasn't Ludwig.

Dude, uh, what was I gonna say about Bureaucart? So, how many games of how many how many sessions of birio cart do you think you've played lifetime you have to be up there for like over 100 how many pre's maybe a little over 100 okay which That is fucking crazy. A lot of Michelob. You're keeping them in business. Maybe. Wow. They deserve a sponsor

but they actually probably don't want to endorse that much drinking. No, they're fine with it. They should be. Well, again, you bring this to your mother and I

and one of our sons, one of our beautiful bisexual sons is out doing acid in the park. Another one of our sons is ruining his life with beerio cart. And I'm starting to think we're partially responsible for their behavior. I was going to bed some nights with extreme heartburn.

And so I'd only play one pre a night. I would limo myself because I was just getting fucked. Right. Dude. Just one pre. Yeah. Just one pre. A night.

It's because Ben would be like, I'm going to fucking come wake you up in your room if you don't. Because one night I got pissed drunk, and I was in my bed laying down, and I heard the door open, but I was like, whatever, I don't care. I'm laying there. Five minutes go by, I hear a snicker in my room, and I'm like, what the fuck was that?

Dude, I look around. Tommy and Ben are just laying on the ground in my room. One's under my desk, and one is in my closet And they're just busting up laughing Because that is their joke They're laughing at you in the dark Yes they just thought it would be funny just to camp out in my room Because I'm so drunk and it's like 2am

And they have nothing better to do But your beerio does the mind Ben is the biggest peer pressure I've ever met in my life Is he? Oh my god He'll be like He'll always ask me do you wanna play Mario Party? And I'm like, you don't want to play Mario Party. Every time we play Mario Party

You get extremely mad around round six and then you forfeit and then you try to fight me and he goes I won't do it this time And then he always does it. He never fails to do the same thing. You know, I'm actually realizing it is insane. The only time, the first and last time I ever hit a vape was when Ben was hitting a vape. Dude, he got you? He didn't even get me. I just snatched it from him. And just because I was stressed.

Slime was having like a stress episode over something. I don't even remember. And I snatched it from him. And he snatched it. He's like, let me hit that. He immediately regretted it. He's like, this is gross. And he's like, yeah, it's broken. I snatched it from him. And he snatched it. He's like, let me hit that. And he immediately regretted it. He's like, this is gross. And he's like, yeah, it's broken.

He's like, that's why it tastes burnt. And I'm like, this sucks. Dude, I was at like a normie wedding and some people were outside. And Ben calls his fucking vape the guzz. And I was like, oh, you guys are not going to hit him the guzz? And the random guy's like, what did you say? And I like repeated it. He's like, don't ever say

that again like he got really mad at me because he got mad no it's just like a random wedding and like the normie guy's like don't ever say that shit again like he was really upset he was like maybe in afghanistan it was a slur i think he did an explanation he didn't like all normies served in afghanistan i think he thought i was making a joke get an explanation? He didn't like Cause all normies served In Afghanistan Right I think he thought I was making a joke About sucking dick And he didn't like that So

Oh He's a nut around my new wife Yeah That's crazy to hear that And think of Like immediately think They're making fun of you For sucking dick

Yeah that's What are you guys saying? Does like guzzle Like penis Like I'm doing that? Like hot milk you want to cum? No Gross

Don't say that around me dude That's like the Always study therapy episode Where Max sees the pen And he's like, oh, it looks like a dick. Is that why you put this here? Yeah, yeah. That's most normie weddings. Most guys who get married see pens as dicks.

And that's why they don't use them. I feel like every normie wedding is about the exact same. It's like you go, they play like YMCA. Everyone loves it. You dance. You eat probably turkey or chicken. What fucking Thanksgiving wedding

are you going to? Some sort of very easily replicatable meat. And then you go home. I have never been to a wedding that truly shook it up. But we can't because weddings are for our parents.

Ryan's wedding. Oh, Ryan's wedding. I didn't go to Ryan's. Had 11 DJs. I'm scared. Ryan knows how to fucking do it, bro. That was a cool wedding. Blade Wise's wedding was a smash tournament. That's also true.

Yeah. Maybe I just don't go to, I need to have more friends get married. Just chop, pussies. The last one he was at, the videographer, he missed a lot of shots, but the one shot he did manage to get was when the dance floor had like probably like 10, 20 people.

And it was like a song where girls were just like shaking ass. He's just like this. This is his shot the whole time. It's like, I don't know if you could put that in the wedding video. It's just like a club shot. Maybe that's what they're going for. So, you know, because we are sponsored by them, we can get free HelloFresh.

Free HelloFresh? You guys can't, but we can. And so I finally pulled the trigger on it and I've got it sent to my house and I'm going to put Josh in a giant, but like a big giant prison ball and chain. And I'm going to make him cook for 12 days straight. Yeah. All the HelloFresh meals. Then I'm going to eat them all in front of him.

I like that. Yeah. If you order HelloFresh with our code right now, one of you will win Josh for 12 days as well. Yeah. Once Josh has proven himself in Anthonyony's kitchen he will be shipped to one of you lucky code users 100 i will i will drill holes in a big wooden box but not too many because i want him to kind of freak out a little bit it's gonna be it's gonna be a little hard to breathe in there but he'll be able to he'll be able to yeah he will make he won't want to breathe heavy while he's in the box but he'll be panicking yeah so he'll be kind of trying He'll be able to. He will make the trip. He won't want to breathe heavy while he's in the box.

But he'll be panicking. Yeah. So he'll be kind of trying to like. It's a test of his resolve. It's a test of his resolve. And for the rest of you, there's pre-portioned ingredients to plan out the meals. That's the beauty of HelloFresh. You don't have to measure anything out.

It's all there for you. And for the one lucky winner, Josh will make it for you anyway. So you have to do even less. And he'll show up and be like, oh, I was pretty scared in that crate. And you'll be like, shut up. Shut up, Josh. Shut up. What made you think that you could talk to me?

At any time that he turns to you to ask a question, yell. Yell at him. Because he's there to cook the food, which is pre-portioned and planned. It should be very easy for him to do. It's very simple because he is there to cook the food, which is pre-portioned and planned. It should be very easy for him to do. It's very simple because he is able to read, and all of the things that are able to teach him how to make this is already there for him. There should be no communication that he should have with you at all,

and if he does, you call me up, and I'll sort him out. You got fresh ingredients shipped right to your door just like Josh. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, desserts, snacks. It's HelloFresh.com slash theyardfree. Okay? Make your holiday season really special with a guy from Australia who is pretty much dehydrated the whole way. Pretty dehydrated.

You might want to put out a little bowl of water for him. You don't have to, though. Yeah. And if you don't, I won't blame you. That's HelloFresh.com slash theyardfree. Thank you. That's HelloFresh america's number one meal kit and he'll do whatever you like dude if i have a kid dude i don't know if i have a kid

i've never talked to anyone ever again why because i want my all to be i think i am scared of all that honestly because of the way my parents worked out because they got divorced and me and my sister like have kind of poor relationships With my father yeah, and we don't like how I'm our mom parented us at all Would you would you want your kid to meet uncle Ben? Yeah And say the guy who peer pressured you into playing over 100 games of lifetime beerio should not be your kid He was he was born to be your uncle.

Yeah. He was literally constructed by God to be everyone's uncle. Hey, little Yeely, what are you, 13 now? Ah, you can hop on the Bireo set up. I don't care what you do as long as it's a Miklob Ultra. The superior light here.

He pulls off his hat and there's this forehead tattoo. Dude, I'm actually, I'm actually excited for the days when we're like 40, 50

just to see where the boys are at and what's, what's still happening, what we're still doing. Dude, will we ever see Ludwig actually?

I will. Dude, yes. No, will he be a kid? No, never see him. Unless he's just like, Ludwig will only hang out

with people who play fantasy football once he's a kid. Ah, he'll be so normie he won't even hit the gun he's about to get kicked out of his current fantasy football one of his fantasy leaks oh is it ben's yeah yeah dude his ben's friends flame the piss out of him like they didn't do any trades right it's because he auto drafted and i don't think he pays that much attention to traits. Yeah, he's got a lot on his plate. They are very upset. That's the quickest way to get fantasy football try-hards upset,

is you just refuse to trade the entire season. Dude, fantasy football is just fucking luck. Yeah, it's just gambling. It's straight-up luck. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you a secret you might not know? What? Ludwig didn't want to hire you.

Yeah, but you did. That's right. Wow, he's unfazed. I fought for... All I needed was you, and then I could convince Lud. Wow. He's unfazed. I fought all I needed was you and then I could convince led I fought for Nick Yingling. That's probably one of the goat hires. Oh, I know I'm the most reliable person in the company Okay, well Who's I am always up and I always respond to messages within at least three minutes I'm not very good at a lot of the all hands have you missed pussy bitch probably a lot?

Okay about the all hands Because because the guy who's running them is gonna tell me anyway. Oh The all hands are a little bit of a sham. I show up and it's like what's up guys so Content we're making that still Got an event coming. We already knew that. Hey, have a good weekend, though. You know, when Hitch said, I thought Yingling was a suit or whatever, I was like, you want to know

what I really do in the work group chat? And then I told him about the Mario Goatsy incident. And how everybody knows Hitch. Hitch had never heard of Mario Goatsy. Oh, yeah. So I had to show him what it was. So Aiden, I keep saying, I keep calling him Aiden because of his in-game name. Yeah, Aiden

Calvin. So Yingling sends him Mario Goetze and he's like, wow, I'm gonna scroll up in this chat because I can't delete this. Yeah, I was like, I'm not deleting it either. I explained to him how our head of finances and our marketing director

defended me that it was chill that I did it. It's just you can't set the precedent. The only woman in our company said it was chill. You can't set the precedent of Mario Goethe being okay in a chat. It comes back to get you. Don't you get it? I'm chill.

But you don't think about the future, Nick Gangly. Our head of finances is also our HR, so it's chill. No, it's not chill. It's not chill. I had to step in and delete it. You deleted it? Yes, dude. Think about that. Because I'm a human being.

And I fought for you. I fought for you. And when Ludwig was like, he was like, Yingling? And I'm like, yeah. And this is a direct quote from Ludwig. He said, do you think he'd want to do that? I was like, what do you mean that? He's like, and he kind of got quiet. He's like, bitch work.

And I was like, yeah, I don't think he cares. I think he just cares about you and you're his friend and he wants a job and I think it'll be good. And you changed Ludwig's life. Yeah, I don't actually care. I would say the moment I realized what I was actually doing was Ludwig told me, I need you to take my Vespa out.

And I was like, and I was talking to Aiden and I was like I forget how I worded it but Aiden was just basically this is kind of what you're going He was like basically like a lot of personal stuff is probably what you're gonna end up doing because like I didn't realize That's kind of what I really got hired for was he was like personal stuff Yeah, and like let it's more like his personal life and less company stuff But it's like a mixture of both was that the DreamHack glass box an awakening for you? In what way? Dude, he handed you the microphone,

and I saw Yingling come alive and become electric. There was a change. There was a change. I've never told Yingling this, but there is a stark difference between the Yingling on the microphone now and the yingling in front of the camera for summit content yeah those are two different people i would say so yeah because that was my first time in front of a camera yeah like i think like before like back

then you'd like get in front of a camera and you just like turn to like you'd be like way more dear in the headlights i'm just like whoa this is crazy and now when you get on the mic you're just like yourself i think that's the main difference that's insane to me because you always feel you seem so comfortable like you seem like someone who feels no pressure being on like Ludwig stream or anything like that yeah I say I would say after the uh Atlanta stream is when I realized I could just do whatever I want I think a lot of the first times was just like I was kind of nervous about what I could and couldn't say and then I started to realize like how I could toe the whatever I want. I think a lot of the first times was just like, I was kind of nervous about what I could and couldn't say. And then I started to realize

like how I could toe the line of like what I could say and like how I can act and just kind of be myself. Like nothing I really say is all that bad, truthfully. As long as I don't like leak shit,

it doesn't really matter all that much. And so I think I was just nervous about like what I could and couldn't say. I think the most vulnerable I ever saw Yingling was at Phantom when we were all in Australia. That was so fucked up.

Oh my god. He was in a fucking dark place. It was crazy. So for one, we see you play in the tournament on Sunday and you hit the most insane combo I'd ever seen that I still remember to this day. Me and Nick saw it. I was like, wow, Koczynski's. But you weren't having it because you were so hang hangover anxious anxiety yeah

that after that i think did you drop out or you just no i played i lost to the chic from pittsburgh jada you yeah you lost and i lost to two people from the u.s by the way and then you just went and laid down on the floor somewhere yeah i sat behind the behind the stage and then Dom got me the KFC snack box. Did it solve you? It just felt okay. I remember I was like, yo, are you alright? And you were like, I'm just really anxious right now. And I was like, oh.

I didn't know you could feel that way. Okay, so the day before, I had literally, I think I was with you. Because we woke up and then we got lunch which started at one bar and then we're just literally walking from pub to pub to pub meeting new people and drinking more and then it's the day before the tournament you you made the mistake you hung out with the perth boys you went you went back to the purse boys airbnb and kept going when you should have gone to bed dude i'm already borderline blackout drunk and then the air the perth boys airbnb is right next to the hotel i'm staying in so i go there and we play king's cupth Boys Airbnb is right next to the hotel I'm staying in.

So I go there and we play King's Cup. Mungo is throwing up in the fucking sink in front of me. We're playing. I'm blackout. I walk to a bar across the street from my hotel. A perfect place to go. What? A perfect place to go when you're blackout.

I just start drinking more at this bar and talking to random people there. Because I'm doing the Josh thing where I'm like, I'm American. I have a superpower right now. Everyone has an accent, too. so you want to hear what they have to say yeah exactly and then um then i remember going back to my hotel and get and sleep until like 5 a.m and then i woke up i think i went to the tournament played my matches and just went straight back to my hotel and stayed there for the rest of the day and then i came back and played this is why it's so funny to hear Hitch talking about you being buttoned up because I think the longest story about you on the podcast is the night in Vancouver

where we walked through the city drunk and then at 4 a.m. you refused to go home and then just roamed the streets of Vancouver until you found your way back to the Airbnb. That drunk was super chill. With a dead phone. Yeah. Dude, all I had in my pocket was the address to where i was going and i remember i had met up i met up with

this canadian dude i'd met earlier in the night and he he was like come to country night and that's how we ended up going to country i met some random guy i'm just talking to him and he's like yeah come come to the roxy for country night and i was like 8 a.m we got we gotta go to country night we gotta go country night and i remember sitting on the bench at like 3 30 a.m. and the guy shows up like a fucking movie and he sits on the bench with me talk and we're just passionate about what's wrong about Canada and America and I'm like yo my phone's dead but I have no idea how to get home and I pull out my fucking paper I'm like oh actually I have my address he's like let me get you a taxi bud and so he like fucking finds me a taxi and he's

like make sure this guy gets right here and don't fuck with him and i'm like okay you don't have to deal with me a guy really need to kill time when you have like no internet on a flight and you scroll through your camera roll yeah i have this time this that night i have this huge block of time in my camera roll because you took hundreds of photos and videos with my phone. And you have you have like an ongoing, like drunk vlog that you shot with my phone from that evening. So every time I scroll back to 2021, I have to scroll past the yingling Vancouver night, which takes like three fingers. I have this bit where you steal your phone when you weren't looking and he'd take a really weird selfie of himself and then when you'd find it and be like, why'd you take this weird photo? He'd be like, it's a normal photo.

That's just me. Yeah, now I just take phones and then just fucking load them up with photos. The vlog was funny. I would love to see the Yingling photo. I don't think we could show it. I think it's bad actually, but I know I have a bunch of drunk videos of myself on my phone, and I actually can't watch them because I just visibly cringe because I'm so drunk. But everybody else can manage to watch them. But it's hard for me to watch it.

I wouldn't cringe at you ever. Well, have you seen the video of me stair-rolling? Do you remember the poop house? Yes. Okay, there was a time after like four beerio pre's and we're playing rock band and I'm like Stair rolling is a beautiful sport that explains

how you play it in the title I don't know if you've been to poop house Okay, at the top of the stairs it's like 3am, I'm like Ben, Ben, I'm gonna do a stair roll and I somersault down the stairs The poop house stairs, by the way are a 90 degree turn in the middle of it. There is a 90 degree turn.

It is not a straight staircase. It itself is a Mario Kart track. So I stair rolled down the first part, and then Ben and Tommy are busting up, and Ben's recording, and I'm like, alright, I'm gonna go down the next set, and I just hit the tile on the ground. I remember waking up really, like, sore, and I was like, what the fuck did I do? And then Ben shows me the video. I was like, I should not do that anymore. You want

me to do drugs with you? That's when I'm drunk. When I do drugs, I'm super chill. Oh, thank God. You're seeing this man right before you, this longshoreman. Your brother. And he says, hang out with me. And you're having reservations

and i want you to tell me what your reservations are i just feel like i i don't know if i want to if i want to you know have a risky night with when you are drunk you're as risky as him do you understand this no he's not he's not he's not he's not would if you were drunk enough but you're around people who don't enable that activity, and that is to your detriment. You're around people who are like, that's to my detriment, that's to my safety. You're around people who sit in the park and jerk off

because they do acid because they're fucking in their mid-20s and like esports and shit. Beat it off! Pussy! Beat it off! Yiling is salt of the fucking earth, and he wants to roll down stairs with you? And if you deny him that, one day he'll stop asking. Also, I begged him to stay on Vancouver, and he was drunk, and he said, roll down stairs with you and if you deny him that one day he'll stop asking. I also

begged him to stay on Vancouver and he was drunk and he said no I'm sleepy. I was sleepy and I got home safe. Who cares? I'm a safety guy. Who cares? Yes! No there's no

answer I won. I think if you spent less time hanging out with your fucking nerdy ass acid friends and more time hanging out with Yingling more time risking it all with Yingling before we go to our fucking job at the docks the next day I think that would make

you a more fulfilled and interesting person I'd have a better story to tell baby no it's not about the stories. It's a... I just... I'm so jealous of his friends.

He never wants to get fucked up in front of his friends. Are my friends or his friends? I'm not jealous of Aiden's friends. I'm not jealous. I'm jealous if anyone Ludwig hangs out with that isn't me, but I'm not jealous of Aiden.

Aiden gives me so much. Sure. I messaged... You were my message. I found you in the light. In the light. I'm not complaining. It wasn't me. I'maged, you were my message. I found you in the light. I'm not complaining. Wasn't me. I'm with you.

It's unfortunate. I thought it was, I was not prepared mentally to be bullied for my choices that day. That's what he thinks of you first. He thinks of you as a bully. When he sees God, he thinks of you and you're a bully. God is a bully. I could face being bullied now, but in the moment, I was like, I can't deal. And he thinks of me,

he thinks of love. Is that true? And support. Is that what you thought? Wait, what did you think of Ludwig then? Ludwig? Why did you not tell Ludwig? Ludwig was in France,

so he's kind of like out of the ethos. You can't message people in France when you're on acid. They're too far away. The message doesn't get to them. I texted Ludwig. The message doesn't get to them. You have a limited range

of what your phone can reach. You're lucky your mother and I were scissoring. I got to see the message, too. You can't be doing that good of a job if he's checking his phone while you're going at it. I was done already. He doesn't have ADHD. He can multitask. Yeah, I can multitask.

Yeah, I was actually, I was doped out of my mind. Me and Yingling have learned all the Call of Duty terminologies, like all the slang they use. Dope is one of them. They say like, that dope me. Oh, like that hyped me. That hyped me up, like I got dope off that. Also, Hitch told us a bunch

of call-outs, and Mick will say them and Clayster will just be like, what the fuck are you saying? So Hitch is one of those people who played Modern Warfare 2 original nine years past its lifespan. He just kept playing the same game and all of the call-outs that he uses

are ones that him and his friends pulled from either the sniping community or they made up. And so when I first started playing GBs with them, I had forgot, because I used to play MW2 GB a long time ago, but we also made our own call-ups up and also I don't remember them.

Also, they were all slurs for every single game. Hitch would respect calling the vents on Studio Michigan. He would respect it. I thought about Michigan as soon as you said this. So I'm learning all my call-ups from Hitch. Then on my actual team, I have Clayster, three-time call duty world champion And I made the goddamn mistake of calling out all right one magic tree and he's like magic tree

What the fuck is that and everyone starts roasting me yingling starts roasting me even though he's been calling it magic Last night happened again, too, I thought Mattitude was me. I was calling Ground Zero Ground Zero my ass. I did Dog is Ass. What about, bro, last night it happened again too. I called Ground Zero and Clay goes, What the fuck? What is that? Dude, and Aiden's fucking trying to- And Yingling is just laughing. I look over at my brother and he's just laughing. And I'm like, that's what they call you. Don't giggle.

Dude, it's so funny because I'm just like, damn, Hitch- Dude, it's like two times I was like, dude, Hitch fucked him. But it's so funny. Hitch fucked me up. And, and, either way, we're learning all this slang from playing with the Call of Duty people. It's, it's, and me and, I mean, like, giggling unironically cannot stop saying shit like lowkey and like all the, all the things that they say. And, uh, I'm just talking about- You know talking about you'd be like oh, he's one shot here Oh, never dude. They're screaming. He's one. He's one right here. What do you want to wait? They say what I mean and they say absolute so like different things if someone says he's one II it means like

He's like a one to a few shots until dead right and if they say he's absolute it means anything will kill him Yeah, like a stun will kill him Wow like anything until they have different words for that in all games scum is yelling like I'm Absolutely, I'm absolutely I'm like what does he say? I've noticed it. It's crazy We were in a lobby with three people on that that a call to world champion thing is what I was saying We were in a game with claysters scum and Nate Nate shot. Yeah, we're playing We're playing against against Nate and scum. Do you wash his dumb little Nate shot. Yeah, we're playing against... You're playing with Nate shot? We're playing against Nate shot. We're playing against Nate and Skump. Did you wash his dumb little baby ass? Oh, we lost game five.

He's still nice with it, huh? Dude. Dude, I was so sad. Their team is fucked up. They have Skump, who is the best of all time. He doesn't have a controller named after him. They have Nate shot, who is a Call of Duty world champion. They have this motherfucker on a mouse and keyboard.

They have an Apex pro. Holding a lane with a fucking sniper like a loser. They have an Apex pro on a sniper rifle mouse and keyboard. That's beast. And then they have some other guy

who's also good. And do game five. Oh, so painful. Okay, this is why it hurts so bad. Is this tournament or scrim? This is tournament. This is why it hurts so bad.

All right, we lose game one. In one where I drop like almost 10 kills for the boys and then game two we win a fucking clencher round 11. Game three we 6-0 them. We fucking we put sc game 2 we win a fucking clencher round 11 game 3

We 6-0 them we fucking we put scum in nature on a fucking poster I don't play I play right to pieced scum and like one of the other guys It was so high game for we are terminal it is for the for the it is the tightest game And this is the one with the plane yes Yes, and all I need to do is lay down and plant the bomb and I fucking press the plant button and then I stopped planning and I do it again stop playing I do it one more time get shot through the fucking plane and then clay's in a 1v2 and can't clutch and I'm just you know I just feel miserable getting some sort of bug where you can't plant the bomb dude like whatever it is

dude I was so mad and clay's like fucking lock in bro it doesn't matter just trying to get him but I'm so tilted and in this very next round There's a guy not looking on me and all I could see is his feet and I'm shooting his feet And I can't kill him and he kills me So I'm just fucking in the dark zone and we just lose that game And I think we went round 11 last one, but we just lost the last game. I was so pissed So would you say you have a glass mental? No, I was just pissed because of the fucking glitch.

I fucking locked in for every game even after that. Baby mental? Because we threw out the team we played after that too. Yeah, the next team we played was good and we threw out them. But it was just so hard. I went to bed so depressed. So as of recording this, what is left to happen in this tournament? So we have... Okay, so our last day of pools is today.

We have one match today. If the luckiest thing ever happens today like the likelihood is so low we will win our game which it wouldn't be that lucky we can win our game for sure we're we have a i think we have a better record than their team maybe i don't know i know we're the same we have same okay same record um we totally win but for us to win our division for us to have a chance of winning our division the second best team in our pool needs to lose to like the fifth or sixth best team in our pool okay out of eight like they have to lose their match today and if they lose then we will play the number one team for winning the it's funny because the only reason we would, if that lucky thing happens, the only reason

we would get over that team is because that team played a best of three instead of a best of five. Yeah, they decided on purpose, they were like, we don't want to play the whole best of five, let's just play best of three, because they were like low on time that day or some shit. So we technically have more map wins than them. Right. Because they decided to play best of three. So the tiebreaker goes to you. So the tiebreaker would go to us So we technically have more map wins than them. Right. Because they decided to play best three. So the tiebreaker go to us because we have more maps.

Yes. Wow. So if they lose to Ethos' team, which is unlikely. Ethos the Valorant player? Yeah, he's in the tournament. The only thing that I'm holding on to is that the Ethos team, one of their wins is versus the best team in our pool. They beat the best team and lost to like everyone else

And so if they beat the second best team then and we win our game then we will get second But if if we win our game today, but they also win their game offer group stage and then you get bracket Yeah, the division win is also money You get $20,000 win is also money. If you win your division, you get $20,000. So we are going to win it. And you get a buy in the actual bracket. I get a piece of this.

I get a piece of you in this action. You get a piece of fucking nothing. Without me, you wouldn't even be here right now. I'll throw a fucking barbecue for you. I get a piece of you. Who cares, Aiden? Aiden, shut up. Did he not put you on game? I put you on and I fought for you. I get a piece. Should I give you a piece of my salary?

I'm cashing in right now. I'm cashing in my Yingling coins. I get a piece. Do you know what's funny? I control them. There was two tournaments that happened. One of them was a one day and the one meeting was a different one. But in my one day tournament, I was playing with Shotzi

and this guy Huskers. And Huskers, or maybe, yeah, it was Huskers, he had a sniper and Shotzi literally goes, okay, this is exactly what you're gonna do this round, you're gonna run mid you're gonna stand on this little pole and you're gonna scope right here I'm gonna throw a stun down mid, it's gonna open the door mid, and when the door opens, just shoot the fucking sniper rifle, and he goes, okay, I'll do all

that, he goes, he does it, he hits a triple collateral against a team of four in search and destroy dude, that's sick sick this clip and and shotzi goes uh yo when you win clip of the tournament i get a piece of that yeah and huskers goes yeah i'll shoot you 100 bucks and and shotzi goes 100 what you win five grand if you win the clip of the thing and even throw him a band huskers one clip of the event with that clip and i thought it was so funny that he's like,

because he kind of tried to sound cool. He was like, yeah, I'll shoot you a Benji. And Shotsie goes, a Benji, what? And I'm like, dude, that's fucked up. It's a little low. And he's like, isn't that what people say? A Benji? I don't think he knew what that was.

He was just trying to be cool. Dude, throw that guy a Benji. How much, that's like a band. How much? That's like a hard 50-50 at best, right? I think minimum you should give him $1,000. Minimum, yeah. Yeah, I think give him a band, a whole band. Yeah.

Yeah, he should have. Yeah, that's great. But it was pretty hype. A triple collateral versus four people is great. That's insane. There's another clip of the event for the tournament, and I submitted our clip where I turned on bows and I just, in their podcast, they talked about that moment and they go, dude, we would have won that fucking game if I didn't get

turned on by that random. Aiden Calvin himself. Terrorizing the podcasters. Aiden on our team. He keeps calling Nick Ying Ling. What? Capital Y. Capital L. Two words. Yeah L two words It's like it's his first and last name Some people in Ludwig's chat often are like I thought his name was Lingling

I've been getting that one since I was literally born My favorite is fucking When you're Nick Allen When people think you're Nick Allen It happens in Twitch chat and things like that People think you're the CO when people think you're Nick Allen me? where does that happen? it happens in twitch chat and things like that all the time people think you're

the COO we have a very I wish I was I'd be getting the fucking biggest paycheck of my life yeah and most of it wouldn't be going to me

yeah that's fair you gotta give him a bit put you on bro I can't wait to get a piece of your life oh man I know you're social bro

it's over I know where your money is he doesn't know you're social, bro. It's over. I know where your money is. He doesn't know you're social. I know everything. Anyway, so, yeah. So, I've been working on my Call of Duty skills. Shit. You've been grinding.

Yeah, this is crazy. If you dox me, I dox Ludwig. We both do. Oh, my God. Who cares? There was this part of the tournament. No one else saw this or knew why it was funny, but I was laughing so hard.

So, before our match, so the Skump and Nade team is like one of the scariest teams in the event. Weirdly, I think they're the best team, even though they're not in first place. And we studied their team. We watched their VODs before we played them. And we realized in watching

that Nadeshot is like a very predictable player. Like he goes to like the same spots every game and plays like a rat. And so there was this part in our game where we're losing and Yingling, Yingling like runs to the spot that he knows Nadeshot will be and he slowly turns a corner

and then sprays him and runs away. Like the spot that you would never look, but he knows he's going to be playing there. And I'm like dying laughing because I'm like, if that happened to me, I would think that they were stream sniping 100%. I'd be like,

dude, he didn't check anything else. He just went and ran away. Bro didn't know he was on the scouting report. That's the problem. He put his ass on the scouting report. Yeah, it was just funny because we studied Nadeshot more than anyone else because I thought it'd be so funny

to know exactly what he was on. That could be your next job. You could go be an analyst in the COD League after the lowing ride's over. Yeah, after he sunsets for good. so funny to know exactly what he wants. That could be your next job. You could go be an analyst in the Cod League. After the lowing rides over. Yeah, after he sunsets for good. After he doesn't make it home from France. You could go be the LA Thieves analyst.

Dude, one time, when I was like 19, I was sitting at my desk gaming, and I ripped what I think is going to be the smallest fart ever. And I just straight up sharted. And I was like, oh, this is very bad. I actually can't even make fun of you. You play the round out? I finished whatever game I was playing.

But I was like, I definitely know something bad has happened. Was that the last time you shit your pants? Yeah. Dude, okay. So because Aiden's the laziest guy I know in the entire world, he doesn't have a bidet in his bathroom. Still? He never installed one. I don't have one. You're living in living in barbaric times yeah but you're rich and you could have one so uh it's like aiden's not home one night this doesn't matter for the story at all

but i i'm playing cobbled yingling i have to shit and his bathroom is closer than my bathroom so i go shit in his bathroom you shit my bathroom and then i realize after i shit oh there's no bidet in here and i'm like i refuse to go back to the caveman ways i also decided to shit in my bathroom. And then I realize after I shit, oh, there's no bidet in here. And I'm like, I refuse to go back to the caveman ways. I also decided to shit in the dark. Like, it was nighttime. I didn't want to turn the bathroom light on. You're having a moment. So I'm having a moment where I'm like, I don't want to wipe my ass in the dark. I don't know if I did it right

or anything. So I Did you do the waddle? So I do the solid snake fucking sneak and I go into my room where my girlfriend's asleep. And I have to go through our room where she's asleep to get to our bathroom to use the bidet. Yeah. And you got shit all over your ass. Well, we'll get there.

We'll get there. So I go, I go, well, I courtesy wipe in Aiden's bathroom just to hopefully get like 75% away. Appreciate that. And then I go in, I bidet and then I, and I get up, I start to creep out of the room and my girlfriend who's wide awake now goes did you just shit in the other room come in here just to bidet your ass she says it all she says everything

like yes it comes and I go I'm not even trying to lie I'm like yeah exactly what I did yeah I just did that and she goes with poop in your ass now I start lying now I'm like no I got it all out I just wanted to be sure. And she's like, you know, there was some in there for sure. Still, she's not buying it.

I'm like, uh, uh, I got to go play. I'm sorry. I'm going to practice. She feels you up on the way out. Just to boost your confidence. She's like, this is gross. But man, it's hard not to get shit on that giant big ass. That fucking ass can shit.

I dump you. You poop with that ass? You keep going there, sweetie. Yeah, she's catcalling me. Kind of got me, got me doped. She thinks that you're thinking all day and night about how tiny and weird your small ass is. But really, you haven't even thought about it, right? It doesn't hurt you when you say that

it looks like a cat's ass. It doesn't hurt me, no. Because you know what? It's like, what am I going to fucking do? Get a BBL? Yes. Of course. BBL time! I'm going to fix the problem. I have 35,000 patrons. I want to look like the Nicki Minaj player model. And model for three.

How much money Yingling would you take to get a BBL? You know what that is 500 grand five four hundred grand you wouldn't do it dude surgery sucks I don't deal with that, but you get a big only part that you don't like looking like you would be BL Here I'm looking at the football guy who runs really fast. Nope don't care Really are you in no mode or you really don't surgery sucks okay i just had surgery where a guy broke my nose while i was wide awake what surgery was it i had to get my bone spur removed and my septum strained out oh i had that too dude you had to get a septum to get your sinuses fixed yeah but apparently you can fix your septum without changing it externally where they just fix it inside you to make you be able to breathe and dude he's just like yeah we're not gonna put you under we're just gonna

numb you up and all I can hear is just my bones crunchy and I was like all right cool did I kiss you on the forehead when he was done I should have asked him can you breathe yeah dude right before you got a stuffy nose before you go under from anesthetics or or anesthesia, your doc is not going to kiss me goodnight. He's like, oh, I forgot. He's a count back from 10, I got you. He just pulls down his mask. Yeah, surgery fucking blows, especially surgery when you're awake.

No, I think it's kind of hype. Do you have an option to go under? You think it's hype? No, they didn't give me an option. When I got my teeth pulled out, which is the last procedure, was i told you guys it was like the guy was like fucking ripping him out like he had like four patients ready to go he's going room to room ripping teeth out and i mine was all numbed up and then he just starts pulling on it and he's pulling on it and then i feel like the i can't it doesn't hurt i don't feel anything besides like the pressure and then

i just feel like the warmth of blood like running it doesn't hurt. I don't feel anything besides like the pressure. And then I just feel like the warmth of blood, like running down my mouth. The pressure sucks. Yeah. Cause it's really alien. And it's just, and it's just out. And then,

uh, the guy that like the assistant, he's like, don't struggle, don't struggle. And I was like, and I just stay still and just takes it out. It's just fucking bleeding.

I can feel it. And then he just like, he holds it up. He's like, there's, there it is. And then he just drops it in a thing and then he leaves and it was like it was he just had his way it was yeah he did he just had his way with me and i was like thanks doctor like he's on the he's on the dentist speed running category dude i bet he's top of the leader he

was so efficient dude the pressure in your sinuses as they do it is like the most insane feeling it is just like it is like someone is pushing Inside the middle of your head, and it's just like oh my god I feel like my brain was gonna explode the whole time this fucking miserable now. You're all okay Is life and better for you now or is it yeah? I don't ever get a stuffy nose anymore unless I get sick, but I haven't gotten sick yet. Can you smell better? I Don't think so. I don't know I smell the same. I was always able to smell good. No you smell better? I don't think so. I don't know. I smell the same. I was always able to smell good. No, you smell like shit.

What? Smell like shit. One more time? Smell like shit. I don't smell like shit. Dude, you're here to confirm it. I don't think we talked about it when we had you on for the Patreon episode, but remember my forever grudge against Ludwig Stanzanatroc?

Yeah. Was because of Genesis of course I don't know me and you went to go eat Panda Express You were there for this we did go look we were hungry bears We were thank you these motherfuckers didn't want to go eat and they went and they laughed in our face, right? Yeah, cuz they they came we're at the front of the line and these motherfuckers show behind us and they're like you guys didn't want To wait it's like no we're at the front line now. You see that big-ass line. We're at the front of the line and these motherfuckers show up behind us. And they're like, you guys didn't want to wait? It's like, no, we're at the front of the line now. You see that big ass line?

We waited in it. No, no, they didn't come to Panda Express. Well, you're crazy. They literally were on the road where the food was. We walked the same way. But what I'm saying is I asked them, I was like, hey, do you guys want to get Panda with me and Nick Gingley? And they all laughed in my face.

Oh, that's what you're mad about. Yeah. Were you there for that? I don't know if I was there for you laughing at you but i was there when we saw them on the street because we walked to the same place and when we went got panda together yes and bonded because he his problem with this situation is he feels like they were disrespecting and saying panda was beneath them not only hanging out no i think panda's tight real yeah i used to in arizona i used to go, I had this meme

because I would go get food and then I would park my car and go eat it on like a bench in like a park or something. And Ben and his girlfriend would constantly roast me for doing this because they were angry

that I would go get food and then not bring it home or like, they'd be like, why the fuck do you do that? Yeah, they were thinking you were eating like a suicidal man. I guess. Like just alone in your car counting the days and express used to

be our code word when we all lived together for we're being swatted because we knew because we knew if we said do you want to get panda express that it would never be a real thing like yeah we we thought it was so gross that we were like if we ask that it only means we're being swatted because we'll never actually unironically say it yeah i forgot about that because we didn't want because the reason being like we didn't want to say on stream we're being swatted yeah maybe the money did done change us they've dude they've tried to spruce it up i went in recently i had a strange panda craving first panda craving i've ever had because i was hung over and it's such good hangover food and i went in to get a little orange chicken i'm expecting the

like dirty gross panda express that i have in my mind from like 10 15 years ago and they've made it all like clean and fancy and nice like like new chipotle's and they make the food this is not but big panda express speaking by the way. This is real post acid-aid I always remember Panda being pretty nice No, I've always like pain. I've always fucked I live near one No, it's garbage to the building in my head. I go inside usually like pretty clean Oh, dude, I live near one where I genuinely think the people that work there were just giant rats in costume Yeah, like like sewer not even didn't even give

you the grace of hiding in a man's hat exactly just was the full cook it was like it was like a giant a giant rat just a whole staff of rat people you know what's really funny about our story about genesis is that when me and slime finally got the food we went to go sit on this fountain and we're sitting there eating, and he rips a fart, and I go, that's all you got? And he goes, give me a moment. And he sits there for a minute, and he rips a big one,

and the people to the left just go, that's good. Wait, really? Do you remember this? Were they randos? Yes, I remember this. It might have been Ringler. No, no, no.

Were they melee players or normal people? I don't know. They might have been melee players. I remember sitting down.. Were they melee players or normal people? I don't know. They might have been melee players. I remember sitting down with- It was random people. We were having a very loud conversation and there were some normies next to us and I was like- You're rancid, bro.

I vaguely remember this. This is fucked. You are rancid. I never switched! I was hype on it. I never switched in my life. You should switch! You should switch.

But I didn't. Some things should switch. But I didn't, dude. That thing was beautiful. No, this one's chill. Thank you. Because when he does a baby one, he's a little fucking baby boy. And I like when he's a fucking, he means it.

Maybe Nick Yingling really is all of our day ones. Listen to how he's speaking about my asshole. He would never do this. You know why? You actually owe him a cut. Why? Because we wouldn't know Ludwig if not for Nick Yingling. So he actually pokes your ass. you actually owe him a cut? Why? Because we wouldn't know Ludwig if not for Nick Engling. Oh, yeah. So he actually,

he actually He put you on game. He put you on game. Not just me, by the way. No, I do. But I never, I never asked for a cut. So we're even. You owe him everything.

He doesn't get a cut because I asked for a cut. No, that was me paying him back. No, in your logic, if you are owed a cut, then in the same logic, you owe him a cut i owed him a cut my cut was vouching for him and we're even i think i'm okay i'm on bands huh i'm

on bands your own hands maybe like a lot like a few a three digit number of bands i'm not giving that's crazy so one hundred thousand dollars minimum is what you're saying. I mean you Payment on a home when you get you can get that for me when you fucking shoot me with a goddamn gun idiot bitch wait That would give me bands. I'll put it in a contract if you England can kill me. He gets my money Yes loot, yeah What if you hide a suitcase of a hundred bands somewhere and if I find it I get it. No, that's not, that doesn't do anything for me. Mr. Beast does a lot for me.

Changes my life. I don't wanna hear some shit. No it doesn't. It does. A hundred bands? A hundred bands never changed lives. He wouldn't change his life if he wasn't doing, he wouldn't do anything with it. He'd still live with Shake and Yan, he'd not hang out with Burger, and then he'd hit, and

he'd hit the fucking Rick and Morty pen and he'd play Valorant until he was fucking, until he was blue in the face. He doesn't hit the Rick and Morty pen. Nor do I play Valorant. Yeah, but you would just do it anyway. Bro, a hundred bands would fucking, I'd be wearing Balenciaga every fucking day of my life. That's what you would do?

I'd be doing a hundred bands. I wouldn't change it. What do you mean, just like me? That's what you do. That's what you do. That's what I do yes, obviously yes I haven't done that in a while Bro you were in full Moncler at the airport like a month ago

Wasn't If I tweeted a picture or something maybe I have He's the gambit. You can't beat that. Yeah, it's weird. How'd you beat that? If I tweeted a picture or something, maybe I'd have proof. Nope. No further evidence.

I did that part. I forgot. It's so... Old shirt, bought it a long time ago. What is it about designer shit, bro? You're fucking... You're... On paper, you disgust me.

Every piece of you, every part of you. But then I look in your goddamn eyes. But then I feel your body in my hands. And I realize that you don't... I feel your BBL. Can I imagine your Bbl and your big beautiful breasts I can't fucking what do you think I'm wearing right now don't you get it I'm so close to hating you every minute until I'm able to sexualize you and then I like you and then it's fine then it

turns around I thought we could do one thing before we leave the podcast okay uh we go around and say one thing because he'll never listen to us do this uh one thing we love about Ludwig