The Yard - Ep. 126 - Ludwig's Dodgeball Event Was Rigged

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

This week, the boys talk about the aftermath of Ludwig's dodgeball event, Ludwig is going to lose $20,000, and how Nick had his dumbest moment...

Your highlight I had highlights You do have a canon You had a 1v4 That was Dude A lot of it was electric Yeah

Which team was it against? Facebook? No, it was... I don't remember. I did a 1v4 against Trest Boxing, I think. You had a play where you caught a ball, then got someone out, then caught a ball and got someone else out,

and it was like four people real fast. It was at the OT against Twitch. Dude, I had a... And then Michael took out Squeaks. I had a dream last night. I want to kick this off. I want to kick off the final podcast of The Yard. By telling us about your dream.

The last podcast we'll ever do. The Yard is coming to an end. It's been real. It's been fun. Salam alaikum. But we found that when you guys listen, you're always with the phone. And we're the problem. And you're not paying enough attention to us.

So get in your Uber. Just quit out of that league game right now. Get in your Uber Comfort, not Uber Black, because you didn't earn it. Let's all just for a moment, let's look over at their other monitor. Let's think what's on that. What's on your other monitor? Yeah, everyone look over there. That's where their other monitor is. Oh my what's on that. What's on your other monitor? Yeah, everyone look over there. That's where their other monitor is.

Oh, my God. Is that... Okay, you have Discord open. You're talking to... You have a Discord server with four of your friends. I'm in a goon cave. I'm in a goon cave. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. What is that? I know. Is that... Is that dog pussy? I think that's a picture of dog pussy, yeah. No, I had this question on the Abide Show. Remember this, Eamon?

Okay, I have a question. We have so much to talk about. Okay, first off, question of the day. Now, you can type this on your other monitor as well, and you can kind of work it out like a chess problem, if you will. Pause the video whenever you feel necessary. Now, do you think it's hard to eat dog pussy? That is an insanely gross question.

To clarify, this wasn't a submitted question. He came up with this all on his own. Do you think you can make a dog cum? Is that the question? I mean, that's... It's a question. It's a question. Yes.

Well, Slime with the shy-sty, you asked a very hard-hitting question. You were going to say something about it. Wow, I'm really happy you threw it over to me, Nick. What are your thoughts? 9 a.m., love talking about dog pussy. Because I don't have to talk about it right now because I already talked about it.

We already chopped it up in the shed in the advice show. On the tier two of our Patreon. That was really funny. He was electric. I would have to ask a dog. Okay Wow, so I asked what she thinks I listen You're asking a dog. Did you come all my partners are different and I have to ask what they want Don't call me partners. So I would I'd give her a treat. I don't like the plural. I would see how she responds to that All dogs, you know, kind of different. Maybe I'd put it on her nose. See if she could do the little thing where she grabs it.

Wow. And then you'd work. And then I'd start eating that dog's pussy. So this is a 9am podcast. Oh my god. This is what you get I woke up 25 days ago It's actually too early

To be talking about Donkey Kong It is actually It's fucking freezing in here Welcome to 9am It's freezing in the office Welcome back to the art episode 100 That's it Final

Yep 100 The final one The 100th one So I'm glad we could tackle that subject It's the final one of the year No it's not It's ending It that subject It's the final one of the year It's ending, it's done It's the final one ever, right

We're done It's just over, it's just time My arm hurts, man My arm also hurts, my arm is fucking killing me Because I left it all on the fucking court You did leave it all on the court He left it all on the old The old no win Andy

court until he took an arrow to the knee I heard Hasan said that unironically it was crazy I was like what are you doing and there he takes an arrow to the knee oh he's like casting

it was insane I thought he said like a conversation he said no he said, I'm casting. He said, I'm casting. It was insane. I thought he said, like, in conversation. No, he said, I encourage you to do something. He said, no, he said,

to an audience of thousands. That guy has gray in his beard now. That's so awesome. That's better. He was, he was, guys,

we're going to talk about dodgeball. So strap in if you haven't watched it. It's the fucking, it's a big ass, we did a dodgeball event. I feel like everyone

listens to this. We played dodgeball. But listen, Hasanan i think he surprised me with how terrible he was on the court yeah it was crazy you know what he said it was actually i don't know if it was sad but it was uh i got a glimpse into the mind of a competitor for a moment where we're on the bench he's really tilted he's like really upset that they're out now and uh and he's saying things like why is kick even invited and like all he's like you know he's doing the melee player stuff stupid snd kids bro exactly yeah and uh and he goes he turns to me he's like you think it's an l if they're here and i'm like kick he's like yeah i'm like nah but he's like what if they like win and I'm like yeah I don't know

dodgeball uh and uh and he goes and then he gets real for a moment and he's like I just hate losing I just hate losing and I'm like I feel you man losing fucking sucks and he's like I just hate when I lose in a physical competition because I feel like I should

be better at that and I was like whoa that's that that's i'm like you're still a streamer yeah you're a large but you sit in a chair all day so yeah he does work out though like he is pretty active and i think if you're active you already naturally pride yourself on being like i could win that thing oh so you said he's good at basketball right yeah oh he's great that's what he said right after. He said, now I can't lose to Ludwig at basketball. Oh, but he will. We are supposed to play basketball, and I feel like I could surprise him.

But he is actually very good. He puts the ball in. But all other physical stuff, no. His body's not made for it. He's a moving billboard. He's like one of those taxis in Las Vegas. He's a warrior. He's built for being a warrior.

How the hell are you supposed to say that? He just has a tough body for dodgeball and his arm wasn't on target no he had zero cannon zero riz I do think he's zero riz because I feel like if it was volleyball he would also do bad you think volleyball is a riz-ful sport you have to be graceful like a swan have you heard of a libero Ludwig Bracket Fixer Ogren thinks it's a riz-ful sword. It's fucking disgusting. It is disgusting.

It is what you did. And listen, zero integrity. There were like two honest matchups. One of them, Chess Boxing vs. Team Podcast. Honest matchup, honest win. I would argue maybe the best match of the tournament. Let's rewind. Okay, you're a bracket guy because you want to talk about brackets. I would argue maybe the best match of the tournament. Let's rewind. Okay.

You're a bracket guy because you want to talk about brackets. Yeah. I'm a bracket guy. You didn't seed it. I did seed it. You didn't seed it. You put the three worst teams in one pool and the three best teams in the other pool. Not only did I seed it, I reseeded it because it was seeded differently by stands.

And then I came in and i said no no no i want this seeding i want yeah that is what fixing is that is what bracket fixing is i fixed it let's let's talk for a moment about brackets in general guys when you seed it means you take everyone equal in skill level to to have people who are closer together fight each other till you get to the top and hopefully the two strongest competitors will come out of that instead of being knocked out.

I had top seed, YouTube. I had bottom seed was Kick. Top seed was YouTube. Can you explain on the scouting report why YouTube was top seed? Yeah. Can we talk about how Sycuno shambled around like a Dark Souls zombie? I think it was his son

Fuck who said he was walking around with his hands in his pockets until he came up to shoot The Jagged he's like, yeah, I would, but it looks so cool. It actually did. He was beast on him all day. I was surprised at how much of a cannon he had through.

Because he was saving all his energy. It's because he was practicing. I told him about the event like two weeks ago and he bought a seven inch foam ball and then

he just goes to his backyard and he's just chucked it at the wall. That's panache, bro. That's a competitor. He is a competitor. I think he just doesn't like being bad at stuff and he knows how little work it takes to just get, you know, somewhat good.

This is like when Ken Chen learned how to shoot a basketball. Yeah, Ken Chen, when we started doing our one-on-one meetings when I worked at BTS, he'd be like, okay, one-on-one meeting and instead of in an office, we'd just go like play horse because he wanted to work on a skill while he was at his job. He was going to miss some shots about it.

Not me, bro. One of the off-band employees asked me, what's your feedback on the event so far as a player? What do you feel? And I'm like, yeah, everything's been great, just this seating and stuff. And they're like, well, he did fix it. That was the first thing they said.

That was the first thing they said I wanted team twitch and youtube to move on yeah it's true yeah now team facebook could have won I didn't know the actors dude they were so gassed Nick Allen was the fucking he was carrying that team and to be clear I also

didn't expect the band streamers who were appearing on Kick to disrobe very early on and then sweat out their mind. I didn't expect this. This was not part of the plan. I don't think it was that crazy. They really need this shit. They're eating marrow off the bone every night. Of course they didn't win this event.

It was night and day. The moment Will took off. It actually was. Because he was like semi-okay before. Yeah. It was so hard to play that thing, dude.

Yeah. He tried to pull back the, this is a leak, pull back the sweat in the finals. He was trying to help you. He was tossing balls up.

He was trying to give you guys games. How'd that make you feel, white boy? It was funny because Will started throwing in the third game when it was 2-0 and give you guys games. How'd that make you feel, white boy? Pathetic like you are? It was funny because Will started throwing in the third game when it was 2-0 and then you guys still lost that one.

Yeah, we did keep losing. Dude, my arm was done. Yeah, you fucked it up, huh? I fucked it up. I fucked it up because the day before dodgeball, we did a practice and I fucked that up too. First off, we did our annual mile run which none of you showed up for I was bad friend

I had friends gambling. I was busy game on the slack think I was at the store by you Gifts it was also in our group chat. I'm son employee. He's in the office crushers chat Yes, I just didn't see it, man. I did feel bad because I was like, oh, I wanted to do that. And then you said you might come

then never came. Yes, that happened. So anyway. He's been half a guy. I was, no, I've been a guy. Half a guy. He has been half a guy

since Call of Duty came out. Not only that. No. Call of Duty's taking you over, bro. Charks. Finally. He's going to Texas to do a Call of Duty's taking you over, bro. Sharks. Finally. He's going to Texas to do a Call of Duty podcast.

You're such a... Hold on. You're back. You're such a codhead. Hold on. Whoa. Green wall. Green wall.

He's got the green wall. Guys, it's a green wall. It's a brick by brick. It's how we build the wall. He's part optic. Optic envy is here. That's so cool. Dude, oh wait.

Hold on. I wanted to... I've been working on this. I wanted to do my impression of Nick Allen's kneecaps as he played dodgeball. Are you ready? Ah! Is that good?

Yeah. That was good. That was good. I actually think you did a great job. Audio listeners, very sorry. Video listeners, you're welcome. I'm actually just Sorry to Archie

He won't expect it Archie I do that Oh and zipper 10 minute compilation You're going Archie bae Oh my god

Dude I watched That entire video Archie bae Archie bae Archie bae Archie bae So for the For the decom show

We do Every time we record It syncs up with The video So before that we're like testing the mics and just speaking before because nothing's gonna go out so i just it's only archie will hear it so i tell him whatever i want to tell him yeah we from the beginning of the show even when it was just me and anthony recording it we would just say anything sometimes

going over the line we said a thing you're legally not allowed to say. Yeah. And only Archie heard it. And it's just a good thing that he's British. So you're just giving him blackmail. Yeah, don't. I'm telling Archie to not leave me and Rishi Sunak in a room alone. That's what Archie is. That's how you build trust.

He's the net neutrality guy. He's the prime minister of the uk you give archie you have to get to get trust with your friends you give them something that can break your life in two pieces and you say i trust you with this and that's how you build trust is you give people blackmail for you not blackmail and this this video is extremely funny of all the compilation of all the shit because a lot of it too is just me like, Archie man! Archie!

Archie man! So much of it is that. That's all of it. Looking back, I don't remember you doing that that much. Oh, I do. And I was there

for almost all of it. What's funny is I can clearly hear you like working on something in the background or like, you know, get everything adjusted or pulling off a thing

and he just does it the whole time through it. Yeah, I get bored. Yeah, because like usually when I pick the mic up I'm like, alright, we're watching this movie. Like, shut the fuck up. I hit the thing and he just does it the whole time through it. Yeah, I get bored. Yeah, because usually when I pick the mic up I'm like, alright, we're watching this movie.

Like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you always want me to stop, but I'm like, I'm speaking to Archie. Alright, Twitches. Artia tomorrow. Archie. Archie.

Back to it though, not rigged because top two teams did get to the finals. You're a piece of shit and I fucking, that's exactly what rigged is. It's not rigged because they were the did get to the finals. You're a piece of shit. That's exactly what rigged is. That's what rigged is.

They were the best teams, though. You really think that? Are you fucking kidding me? You two beat Twitch. Yes. You two beat chess boxing. We beat you. It's so sad, man.

We beat you. I'm surprised by that. I know. We just gifted it to him. Yeah. I was trying to catch balls too much. And you beat podcasters. We, I, okay.

To be clear. I would love to talk about that. All right, you want to talk about it. Oh, so we want to use this logic? Yes. A seasoned Smash player wants to use this logic. So you want to talk about it. I always knew Morse Cone was better than Cody Schwab.

I always knew. Look, you want to talk specifics, Ludwig. You seeded for a team that got a sub in the middle of the tournament. My team? Yes. Yes. And that sub is a large reason middle of the tournament. My team? Yes. And that sub is a large reason you defeated the higher seed teams. Michael Reeves was a fucking goat. No shoes, McGee?

Lily kept begging me to add Michael Reeves and I said, you have to play one full game and then he can play. I will not let him play the first game. It just happened to be against baseball. That's not the basketball rule you piece of shit. No one told us. Then he can play okay, but like you I will not let him play the first game Just happen to be against baseball Basketball rule you piece of shit. Yeah, that was a fuck-up. What was the basketball shoot a basket? There's I thought people were just fucking around your whole team's back. There's a jailbreak rule

It was it was first of all zoom. It was in that it was in the discord I read the note before you go wasn't in there Yeah, I I assume I read it in the discord I assumed it was no longer a rule because the refs did not say it the refs should have brought it up they forgot to bring it up but it was a rule jailbreak basketball

goes in and runs out it would have been hype I also was thinking about it while we were playing is this a good rule for the event I think if people were constantly trying to shoot for it it would be boring max one per 15-minute game. Oh. Like one shot?

Like one make. Oh, because there was someone who went for a bunch of them, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah, that'd be fun. It's funny, dude. Okay, real quick. Team podcast.

What happened, guys? Because I, standing right before you, a man in a Fortnite, what's it called? Fortnite. No, what's the thing called? A gator. A Fortnite gator. And I'm wearing this because I drive a motorcycle now, too. Right.

And I'm asking you guys. You went up against me. Yeah. My team. My family, if you will. Yes. Because that's what we are now. Yeah.

And I threw some balls at your damn heads. And I hit them! Also threw a ball at your damn head and also hit those. Hit you twice. So I hit you twice. One of the worst moments was when you laughed really loudly after getting me out. You like that? No.

It actually irked me. I was so mad. I knew every hit he landed on me was going to be one more fucking moment today. He was like, I knew Aiden came up to me after we were both out and he's like, you knocked me out twice. I'm still so

mad. I was pissed because both times he hit me, I was catching a ball. So I caught someone else's throw and he hit me at the same time. That's why you do it that way. I wanna say I targeted you. I don't know if there's like a super cut, but I feel like if you looked at my throws at your team, 80% were at you and I got a lot of outs. You got a lot of outs. I want to say I targeted you. I don't know if there's like a super cut, but I feel like if you looked at my throws at your team, 80% were at you and I got a lot of outs.

You got a lot of outs. I tried to catch one. I caught one right to the chest. It actually hurt my nipple really bad. But it got you out and I was like, so worth. I go for it. But yeah, I was damaged. Point Crowe hit my ear in this very weird way. It didn't like hurt my head to be hit,

but it like caused like a vacuum, like a suction on my yeah, like popped and then is that the one where you satcheled up Satcheled up yeah, yeah, I would up higher yeah, I thought they're gonna throw low and then uh I just heard a stun grenade in my head for like 30 minutes. Oh really yeah I was just like trying to like do this. I'm like oh, it's ringing the whole time Our team's problem. I think we had a lot of great throwers and a lot of great Dodgers. No one wanted to catch a ball. It's hard. It's scary.

It's hard. Once a player was out on our team, they were pretty much guaranteed to be out for the rest of the game. I think I had the most catches and I had like a few. I had like four. You know what Ted said the worst problem of your team was Ted said Ted said I forget the exact phrase he said like yeah we probably

would have done better you know we didn't have cutie who was sitting next that oh dude that's brutal she's like what the fuck and he's like oh oh also not true because we won with lily no that's what this this was my exact thought although she didn't have a godlike catch i you guys had uh you know you guys had lily and les Leslie who were not tossing bombs no you guys still did well so it was uh and then cutie also played her role so she was like uh she would block oh my god did you see me take Sam by the shoulders and use her as a human shield. Yeah, dude, that was fucked up. He got Sam out by blocking himself around her. That's really funny. And then, I lost

the game. If I clutched, it would have been insane. She was like, oh, well, he told me he was going to do it. I was like, seconds before, she was like, yeah. That doesn't really count. I think my two plays of the game were when Aiden deflected one and I dodge grabbed the ball.

That was huge. That was huge. And then I had the 1v2 versus, was it point crone myth? Yeah. But I'll do that. Mickey Mouse 1v2. I'm like on the court. All I'm thinking is my arm hurts so bad,

I cannot throw another ball right now. I need like a 20-minute break. Well, I have two fucking rotator cuff injuries. So I was like, I can't throw this ball right now I need like a 20 minute break My arm is Well I have two fucking Rotator cuff injuries So I was like I can't throw this ball at all So I kept throwing like fake throws Like I'm trying to get the ball To their side

Because I want to catch one So I'm like throwing it To the ground And I'm trying to get To throw the one And then I get out Whoever is on Maybe it's Poinker

I get out the other person And it's me and Myth And I'm like I'm going to lose this I can't I'm not going to hit him And then he just steps out of bounds Oh yeah I was wondering I just won the moment And i'm like yeah yes that was tough man oh my god i'm so

glad we won but that was a nice comeback for us that was that was we came all the way back and we played game nine but can pissing me off too because the final the final battle between us and team youtube and my team again my family it was the no block rule. Dude, I took that out. I just kept throwing balls at you guys, and everyone was like, block, block, and I was like, oh, that person, that person. You're such a little rule slut. Am I? You're a slutty little rule slut. What do you think the ref means when they go, no block?

What do you think it means to have competitive integrity? You know who the real slut is? The Austin show, who was going over to the crowd to flex for them as they cheered. He literally did that. He went over, fucking, wah-ban. They all fucking go crazy. He's like Johnny Brothel. And then he puts it down, he puts it down, and then he's like... And he feigns his shirt.

Puts the other one up. You put these fucking rotted animals in front of a crowd and anything's possible. He wants to be Magic Mike. Sometimes I'd be on the commentary and I was like was like it's like who knows out here saying who bitch i'm fucking tonight and the crowd just died and i was like i feel it i feel it too uh austin show came up to me oh my god he's like he's like i was just uh i just had to take a take a pee and i went into the girls' bathroom.

And I came out and a guy stopped me and he said, you can't go in there because it's a school and you're not allowed to do that. And he's like, well, I did. That was the story he told you. He was talking about how the guy was like, okay, but don't do it again. And then we kind of talked about the ethics of that. And it always comes to that. With Austin Cho, he always puts you in a spot where you're really like getting to the heart of a of a of a social idea awesome show always talking about who shouldn't be in the bathroom right that's his favorite talking point it's so interesting and he's like he's like yeah if like valkyrie was there she would have been like oh he's good he's

fine awesome show came up to me and I said you can be real with me bro are you on the fin and he goes the fin the fin the fin he figures it out he goes oh no he's like I'm too

afraid of it affecting my sex drive well I've talked to him about this and I'm like oh I didn't know about that what's that he explains the science

to me I'm like oh cool and he goes you know who is on the fin he turns around he side eyes it's like a movie they know who is on the fin? He turns around. It's like a movie. They were in the perfect spot for this. He turns around.

He side eyes Hassan and Wilnef. And he goes, those two. And I'm like, oh, Phineas and Ferb right there? Which he then replies, Phineas and Phineas. And I was like, he's kind of snobby. That's a joke I like it though I like it It's sort of a pointed

Jab And making them Both Phineas I think he added to it I do think so too He's kind of funnier In a way Right yeah

Than you in that moment Oh me? Phineas and Phineas But I like it Because it's only funny Because of what Nick said He did it again He also came up to me And he's like I heard we have beef again And I was like we do? And he's like Oh like because it's only funny because of what Nick said he did it again he also

came up to me he's like I heard we have beef again I was like we do he's like oh no we don't I guess you just made some shit up last time when we did the podcast oh Hassan made some shit up Hassan loves making shit up he just made up on the podcast that Nick was really mad that he wasn't invited and that Austin you were the reason that he wasn't invited. And that Austin, you were the reason that he wasn't invited. Like, he just, he said that you were mad, and it's Austin's fault, basically. It actually happened. This is true. Oh, then it's real.

What happened was, I said to Hasan, I'm like, I come on your fucking podcast, I host the whole damn thing, and you invite Aiden? Real. And I was like, what's up with that? Real. Huh? He's trying to just fucking turn him out. And then he was like, bro, I want you to come, but Austin wanted Aiden.

Yeah, he put on Austin. I was like, you tell Austin the beef's back on. I forgot I said that. Oh. That's crazy. I didn't remember

I said it. So I'm sorry. The beef is back on. You are beefing with a gay man who has nothing because he's a gay man. Nothing but glamour muscles.

He said to me, if these are all for show, I'm out of shape and I will lose did he do well I can't remember you're okay did he throw well

you're okay I think for he could throw pretty hard but he wasn't very accurate for his physical he was similar to Hassan in for his physical

capabilities you know what he looks like what he shows I wish he performed better. I expected more. You expected more out of that body. We just needed more damn catchers. We needed just people to catch. Dude, okay,

so Team Twitch fell apart. They did not do very well. No. Not as well as people expected. They were a high C. Emily often did what looked like an airplane. I loved the look. She looked like a Fall Guys character. She would run, scream, they just get hit get out There's one Emily Emily tanked a hit in the head sitting on the side ones to you

Those me I fucking rocketed a ball and I meant to hit a sauna I think I just domed Emily and I heard it just go double tap. Yeah, that was funny Emily's head off France TVs The TVs got fuck we broke a bunch of TV. Great. I didn't think that was possible They were throwing some heat. Yeah, there was oh Spilled red bull over the fucking ground. Okay, it's good. It's good for the lawn. It is good for the lawn. It'll make it grow really fast. It's like fertilizer.

But you should suck it out. We're gonna get fucking ants. Red Bull's really nutritious for the lawn and the ants too, actually. All right, everyone. Best part of the competition and the worst part of the competition. Starting with Aiden, of course. Starting with Aiden. Best part of the competition was when we made our comeback to tie you

guys to play it out okay we had to we had to come back to tie or to get within one by the time the timer went out so we had to win that game really fast and then tie it up and then a chance to play it out so lost yeah that was my best part of the day lost the set the set. Still lost the set. This is maybe his first and only thing he's ever going to win. Yeah. Come on! I played Blur in a week!

You are surprisingly adept at Blurby's physical activity. I will say. This is so big for me. Yeah. I never played team sports. I don't know how this works. The pain of defeat and the sweetness of victory. Mm-hmm.

Uh... Worst part. Worst part of the day, dude? Fucking... You- you showing up, showing up and realizing that you didn't seed the fucking bracket properly. Oh my god. I have to participate in this heinous, heinous shit show of a tournament. So you can make the finals. I think you can-

So you can make the finals. Just say it. So you can make the finals. Shit show of a tournament. I Kobe if you're seating that team is probably the second seed you think that I do mmm Shaggy Kobe tracking Kobe Kwame Browns Five I don't know. Is that a football player? Oh, he's the he's the guy that Stephen a Smith Grilled on and he said Kwame Brown's not a basketball player. This is the equivalent. Now you're you. Best and worst part.

Best part? Making the finals in a great seeded tournament. Beating Team Twitch specifically. Making finals in a fixed tournament. You say fixed tournament. Making finals in a fixed tournament that I invented so I fixed it. You said you fixed it. I'll say the whole damn event was good though.

It was a great event. It went great. I had a good time doing it. You had Twitch chat pulled up. It was so nostalgic. I missed them. It's been two years man. I missed them.

Also meeting... There's so many dance emotes. I had fun. I had fun. I thought it might suck but I had fun giving merch out to all the fans. I actually got mad at one point because you guys did it for so long. Oh. And I was like, we need to get the show on the road.

Because I felt really bad because we did it. We had a halftime performance from like jugglers. And then during the jugglers, they're just throwing out merch. And so the jugglers are going, but nobody was looking because there's a bunch of merch getting thrown out. and they're like Yeah, but like the jugglers had finished and they like got loud because a bunch of merch came out jugglers Went too fast. I heard I heard they go very clear. They're supposed to go for like five minutes They went for 30 seconds. Yeah walked off. They protest go. No, did the union activate?

I think that was like are you beefing with the juggerugglers union? I'm not beefing, but I also... I don't know why they went so quick. They did the routine fast. And so everybody missed it because they were getting free merch. They did a 30 second routine? Maybe 45. I didn't even know this happened. It was really short.

I was watching it and I'm like, hey, juggle. And then I turned away to find my Mendocino Farms. And it was done. That was given away because I was competing. And then I turned back, no jugglers, no medicino. I almost shot myself in the head on the spot. Was that your worst part? Was that your worst part?

Worst part is. You almost shot your head off on the spot. That's not the worst part. Oh, well, what was your worst part? Oh, you said it. You said it. Sorry. Did I?

No, no. What was your worst part? My worst part. I smooched you, man. I smooched you, man. My worst part. I don't know. What?

You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooched. You smooch you, man. Smooch you, man. My worst part, I don't know. What? Smooch. Chill. All right. Tell me your worst part. Probably team kick being too OP. You think so? Yeah. I wish they were slightly worse, but it was literally the only possible group of five

I could have formed possibly ever. Dude, I wanted to, when we were playing you guys, I wanted to go up to you like in Gladiator at the end. Sorry, that's a end sorry it's a spoiler it's a 20 year old movie and uh he stabs uh maximus in the side right before they fight and he gives him a hug and he's like and he stabs him and then they fight and i wanted to do that to you just stab you in the side and you're just playing like a wounded like mario with two hp and i'm not telling anyone yeah yeah and your Yeah. Because I have so much honor. Yeah, and your Hawaiian shirt is red.

Yeah. And you're like, ooh. Ooh. And then everyone's like, what happened to your throat? And I'm just tanking. By the way, he's really out of breath. We killed Nick and replaced him with the sponsor of today's video, Mint Mobile. Yeah, Archie, please compose in a big phone.

No, don't do that. Archie, just use the Mint Mobile mint mobile archie put yourself in that chair it's the holidays it's true it is it's so true and you're wearing the yardigan cardigan it's the holidays because aiden is leaving today forever and this is going to be his last podcast to make sure we can keep track of him we're giving him a mint mobile phone minimal is a sponsor to today's podcast and and buddy it's just 15 a month so it's okay that you won't have the podcast income because you're going to be able to easy take that down give me a plan with unlimited talking text at high speed data delivered on the nation's largest 5g network will you give me that plan

because it's so cheap dad i wish i wish i couldn't yes but i wish we could give you a phone that didn't have that. But with Mint Mobile, it does have all that. And unfortunately, you'll have full access and you'll have a very affordable phone, which doesn't bode well for me as someone who preys on your downfall. And I will find my way back to the show because of that. I won't be gone. I don't think that's true.

Let's change the subject. When you switch to Mint Mobile and buy any three month plan, you get another three months for free. So you'll have six months of a phone, three months of that which will be free, and you will not be coming back to the podcast. I promise you that. Archie, what's the website they can get it at?

You can get it at mintmobile.com forward slash DR. That's right. That's it. Thank you, Archie. Thank you very much, Archie. And thank you to Mint Mobile for sponsoring this podcast. Best and worst. Best worst time.

Right to me. We are your best. Just. Best and worst. Best worst time. Right to me. We know your best. Just go to your worst. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my god. My best? It's like watching somebody milk an animal. There's just so much milk to find. An animal that doesn't have milk. I think, okay, it's, I think the

best was when there, it was the five of us versus cutie and that frame got taken Tim's tweet right yeah her fucking knees you could see them shaking

oh my god it's so sick it's like a movie the mogul moves twitter too it's like where the Power Rangers were like evil fucked up Power Rangers who are about to like kill somebody. Like a civilian. And you're like pointing at her.

Yeah. Well, the crowd chants cutie, which is kind of dark. I don't know. Yeah, it was, it was just like, it was so picturesque. I wish,

in that moment, I wish we knew about the basketball rule because it could have been like that one, that one moment just to even have a shot. Yeah and it goes sinks cry goes wild uh your worst part is that my mendocino farms uh didn't get eaten and ld himself gave it to mizkif wow and i was like that's fine it's ld it's ld and he's boots on the ground and he has to make a call.

We were appreciating and admiring LD for everything he did. But then he goes and he snakes his day one like that. You know how long I've known LD? It's years. So long. It's been a long time. We went through war together. Before we started, we were outside.

LD was passing around his phone for a mendocino farms order at the event because one of the food trucks one of the food trucks gave out a couple hospitality staff had to uh back out all because of covid and uh we were just gassing up lds he passed around the phone for orders he's like who else would be in the trenches the fucking boss his fucking boss man was fucking boss made passers-follow around. He was there at 7 a.m. and he says, use my personal phone

to order your food for your yummy tummy now. All right. He's Boots on ground. And then he betrayed me. And then he betrayed you. And so now it's fucking... Now it doesn't matter.

And now it's open season on Lord Dank. You did keep calling him Lord Dank. Yeah, there's the photo. Oh, yeah. Dude, the fuck up. The Dark Souls UI.

I didn't see that. Do you miss pointing in the middle, too? Oh, my God. She's so stanced, bro. It's so funny. Her left leg. I never stop thinking about it. It's like it's buckling.

She's got so many souls. You guys all in the same uniform. Best part, worst part. Okay, best part was, well, our team got out pretty fast. So, best part, I think, was commentary

with Dubbin. Dubbin! That was fun. We had a fun little block. Worst part was, I'm not going to name any names,

but a certain off-brand employee told me that, so there's like a little food form to fill out if you didn't want to go out

to the food truck. And like, someone will go grab your food for you. I was like, okay, I fill out the form, man.

And I go, and there's a part with all the stuff that goes on a burger, and it's all unchecked. And I said, if I keep all this unchecked, will it not be on the burger? Because checking it meant putting it on the burger. It wasn't like take off. And he's like, yeah, none of that comes on the burger. You just check what you want. I'm like, great.

And then when I got my damn burger, all of it was on the burger. So I have pickles on my damn burger. And I hate pickles. Dude, you guys have weird problems for dodgeball. I had a great event. You were mad about medicine farms and you were mad about pickles. I put pickles on my damn burger. When you work as hard as I did. Oh, by the way, I feel fine.

Right? You guys are fucking wheezing and heaving. My cannon's ready to rock rock I could play again today okay my cannons hurt for good reason it's because we did a practice session the day before which was a huge mistake my controller was broken and no okay it was broken I pushed Mongo there's actually a terrible Ludwig moment one of the worst in my life recently where we were supposed to go to the YMCA. They wanted to practice. And I was like, I was like, I'll get us a place at the Y because you can use a racquetball court, play dodgeball. And I was like, we need a membership.

Can you do this? He's like, great. And he's like two spots, 10 AM, two 30. And I asked him 10 AM, two 30 only said, can you respond? He says 10. I'm like, great. We lock in 10 AM, 11 PM. They're like, oof, that's early. What about two 30 about 2 30 i'm like sure we'll do 2 30 the next day i have you can go call they're busy now i forget to relay so they all show up at 2 30 oh my god why it's it's we don't have it it's full dude and i get the text at 2 30 like here and i'm like oh dude it's a beautiful thing that people that famous can't get into the why but they can't go in and be like give us a

fucking spot the why is just like who's mans are you a young Christian man in the association we also wouldn't attempt right I think the attempt wouldn't work yeah I don't think it would either but I just love that I think it's good for like nature and like trees.

How famous is it to be to attempt to be like, go walk into a Y and be like, give me the room now. This is like, this is like, who's the least famous guy to shut down the Gucci store? Who's the least famous guy to shut down the Y? Does Trippie Redd shut it down in 2023? I don't know. Can Trippie Redd get a racquetball court? And so I just fucking, this is weird

directly after the annual mile which I got a 659 in, God bless. That's hype. I heard about that and I was like, he's so stoked. I pushed my body to its limits. I Ubered over an hour late and then we just had one dodgeball. And so all we did is i had them line

up against the wall and i wailed at them and i said you either catch us or duck are these off-brand people no this is this is leslie and psychotic you made you made real people waste their time yeah not the minions the first off that's how he talked about them they're all that's all real people and all of them suffer my wrath yeah it. It is true. No one's safe from Ludwig. Oh my god. I treat everyone whole. If you know his cell phone number, you are not safe. Yeah. Oh my god.

You're such a scumbag. Man, I just wailed on him. Okay. You made him show up and you wailed on him. I wailed on him for just a freaking hour and a half. Just literally fucking balls. I sure don't want you to do that. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up, psych. I just kept fucking wailing. And so they got kind of good at catching, I think you to do that. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, psych. I just kept fucking wailing. And so they got kind of good at catching, I think, because of that. Because catching is mostly just a fear thing. Well, you can fuck it up. Yeah, but I think, like, step one is not losing eye contact with the ball. Yeah.

Dude, the ref, the woman ref, she would go up to everyone, and she'd, like, tell you what plays but she'd get she'd give you your doritos play of the game yeah and it was very flattering she'd be like you're like that that kneeling catch those are hard you're a beast out there and i was like point girl came up to me he's like can i say something to you and i'm like yeah and he's like the ref came up to me and she said like, do you like play dodgeball outside of this? Like you're really good. And he's like, and it was, it was, it meant everything to me.

He was like, don't, don't tell anybody. I think, welcome to the podcast. Yeah, I think she was, I was like, is this secretly a psyop just to get people to play dodgeball more? That's what I was thinking. She's like, she loves dodgeball, right? I assume she's really into dodgeball normally. Cause Mitchell, the other ref,

has played competitive dodgeball for years and years and years. So I assume she does as well. Do you think dodgeball players think trampoline dodgeball players are losers? Yeah. It's like ultimate melee. Or is it mutual respect,

like hurdles in sprinting? Which one's melee? I feel like it's trampoline dodgeball. Yeah, no it has to be the one that came first Then the one that's less floaty. I mean real. What came first dodgeball or trampolines? I think we've been throwing rocks at each other forever. Exactly what I was gonna say. We've been trying to hit cheetahs in the head Mm-hmm. Well that's not dodgeball. gathering it's dodge this cheetah me uh being an obsessive um uh loser when i lose stuff uh when i got in the car on the way home i was listening to videos of how to maximize your kinetic chain to throw harder yeah uh because i was just like i want to understand this thing i don't understand uh and i i learned that uh there's a lot of science behind

why humans are the only species that can throw both fast and hard at the same time what and uh and and part of that is that we have specific muscles developed from hunting gathering what about monkey where we can uh no no we're the best monkey uh what about the attack on titan monkey when he starts fucking chucking him that is a fictional monkey anyway and that fictional monkey slings I don't think monkeys can like aim this theory it's funny Hassan is exempt

from it yes he can neither throw hard nor fast he's monkey which means his ancestors never hunted nor gathered that's how you determine a human yeah their dodgeball speed how about hard and fast they can throw. Well,

we'll move on. Uh, uh, uh, yeah. And so that's why we're, we're so good at fucking throwing. Cause we used to throw spears and rocks at cheetahs.

Dude, walking into the gym. So I would kill a cheetah with a spear. Uh, no fucking slay them nope it would I could throw such a fast it would eat your dick first literally just dodge it and then gobble your dick I could throw a fucking spear that would kill a cheetah I know this I I think your dick would be a delicious Halloween snack yeah cheetah I might use it as bait

Come here, boy. Look at this. That's true. I would say that. She just licks its lips. Yum! Through its skull. Yeah.

I was walking to the gym and Furtive, the ref that Aiden was talking about, it was like a movie because I haven't seen that guy in years. The last time I saw him was at the Rocket League somewhere when I worked at BTS and he was the admin for that.

And he just loves Rocket League. Everything he does, he just really loves. I had a thought real quick because I think it's important. In the middle of the match, I was thinking about, I was looking over at Furtive and I was like, he just like stuff with balls in it. Yeah. Like what's his deal?

Yeah. What's his fucking deal? Smash GG, which used to have a ball type logo. And so I walk in and he's just there and it's like a cameo it's like it's like a crossover in like elden ring where uh we're fucking uh patches is in it and you're like that's the guy from the other game and he's in this one and he's like what's up and i'm like dude it was really funny yeah i worked with mitchell for for years so it was just really funny to like mitchell he's just there and he's in a ref outfit he knows what

he's talking about my you know probably one of the worst things i've ever done is at the first company smash tournament at smash gg i wobbled mitchell what that's what the fuck's the matter with you yeah it's don't even play ice Climbers. Why did you do that? I just wanted to see if I could wobble and I could. Dude, what the fuck? Did he enjoy that? No. But he's an experienced player

so maybe the match was close. Well, it was his first tournament. Are you kidding me? You're a fucked human. You're a bad person. He's awful. He's just answered the, would you wobble someone who's on their deathbed

if it was their make-a-wish. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't do it. Ow. Bro. Why? Why? Why are you so different?

What changed? I don't know. I just got older and I changed my ways. So let me, just a genuine question. When you were wobbling him, did you not think

this probably sucks for him? No, I just thought it was, I just thought it would be funny. You thought it would be funny? That's fine. Hee hee about a hundred times. As long as you thought it would at least be funny. I think at the time I didn't know if I could wobble. That's not really important.

The success. If you do, it's miserable. This is a bad coin flip This is unrelated But Dawson has affected Yingling beyond repair Really? I need you guys to know this

Is he in no mode? Because last night I messaged Yingling When I get home From the Dodgeville tournament I say Warzone And he just replies

Which by the way First of all Is a crippling Gross addiction you have To Call of Duty Yeah you're a national And I hate how you're Trying to be like

Oh Warzone is different It's Warzone It's Warzone It just came out It's a new game You're a fucked little sn Yeah, you're a national pain. And I hate how you're trying to be like, Oh, Warzone is different. Warzone is different. It's Warzone now. It just came out. It's a new game. You're a fucked little snout and you're a little fucking pig with a snout. This is just him doing... It's a new game.

You're a little pop belly tiny like baby pig in a purse. Lord forbid I play a couple Vibio games. I thought you wanted him to game again. He's addicted to COD, man. You're a tiny little pig in a Givenchy bag. I'm less addicted to normal COD now because no one wants to play GB, so I haven't been playing. But Warzone is fun. I'm playing with my friends, which is great. And I messaged him last night. I say, Warzone? And he just replies, what do you want?

What the fuck's the matter with you? And I just said, that. I want that. And he goes, okay, I'll get on. And I'm like, well, what the fuck was the first message? And then he just, he pings an old message about how Dawson has changed him. Oh, what a, what a black hole of emotion that man is. And speaking of the outskirts of our universe, I played Burger Yan in clockless chess last night. Oh, you shouldn't do that. You know how long the game took dude took an hour No, we're slow. Wow

Mario Kart breaks that's disgusting. Then we just switch. We just played it. Yeah, just the game Did you destroy burger? Yeah? No, it was really really really close and I won in the end game because I have better endgame Yeah, I was up a piece and then he he had a really good move. I lost a piece. I was like, I did not see that. Yeah. Good move. And then we played a really slogging end game and then he just blundered a rook.

Good. Maybe the worst move of his whole life. Good. I realized yesterday that I'm going to lose twenty thousand dollars to no J. Yeah. Wait. He was in smoke. What happened?

Yingling's good. Fucking ran the setup. Just like every- In Ultimate? Yes. Yeah. While consistently being like, what a dog shit game. Who's he play? This game sucks.

He was random. Oh, dude. He was random cooking. And he was like, this is bullshit. And then Nick Allen would be like, yeah, your side B is actually really good. He'd be like, no. Who does Noah J play? Wii Fit Trainer.

Wii Fit Trainer as of a year ago what anyone who plays we fit trainer is gonna be a foot fetish they're weird yeah i got so this this this friday it's one of the matches along with you versus blur oh yeah oh yeah i'm tuning in you better win because i'm tuning in at 7 a.m. Oz time. Oh yeah, you're going to be in Oz. Yeah. What I heard through the grapevine is that none of my friends think I can fucking do it. Wait, I think you can do it.

I think you should do it. I think for the good of everyone, you should do it. But you don't think I can. No, I didn't say that. It's pathetic. I didn't say that. I think you can because- I said Blur has the edge

look if I if I'm in the crowd I'm betting on you well yeah I would never bet on Blur I think Blur you're so much better than and I know he's leveled up but I did shit to Blur four years ago that I uploaded to my YouTube

that should be illegal I did a rollout only game you put on lively it should only be in an isis compilation i kill them roll out only yeah the whole game it's different and i clowned it's not different he also beat me in the last because it is the same puppies within them the same puppy of failure yeah was that online uh when i when i lost it was online mickey it doesn't count. I love that you're here. We all know that you're not an online player. So listen, Josh has been training me, and this is for real. He set up a bunch of save states.

I have Marth-like save states. I know my percents now. It's the real deal. This is unfortunately not something you should say publicly. I don't give a shit. Because if Florida wins, he's going to be like, bro, I made save state. It's okay. Because it's like, at the end of the day, you know what?

You could see me do the FGC nod when I was getting out in dodgeball. I'd like get hit, and I'd just like nod and be like, yeah, good play. And that's how I feel. When I'm genuinely ready to compete, I'm like, fuck it. Have all the information you want. Clown me all you want if I lose. But Josh was playing, or he was watching my old set versus blur he was like you're actually like not too bad you just hit for seven i'm like okay let's change

that so that gave me confidence but losing to blur is is a is a my mendocino farms angle got taken like it it's it probably could be the worst thing that could ever happen to me don't you get it you well it's happened to you no but like in this context the last one wasn't a set right wasn't it like how many games you could win no that was the first time oh okay and i like beat him like four games in a row and then tried to falcon punch it out because i thought i could beat him a hundred games yeah there's a guy at one point you said you could be a hundred games in a row who you are now training for yeah well it's I guess yes it's like a haiku uh which I'm gonna do one right now um so

I went to the store thought snapping they were all out of that shit they were

that I like to eat the question mark at the end really makes it I know it's like what is this do I actually like to eat it what is it elements at the end and all of that. I know, because it's like, what is it? Do I actually like to eat it? What is it?

What is the elements at the end and all of that? I would like to make fun of Nick more. I've discovered something that I thought you guys might enjoy. I saw this in the Topic channel. No ass. That bitch is such a leak. Oh, assless Nick got more dirt on him? Zipper 2 fed me some juicy information that Nick, after 26 26 years of living 26 years of late

because he knows now apparently that he didn't know he thought an olive was like the slice like this sliced olives on pizza he thought that's what an olive is. So, so. And they grew like that. And they grow like that. He didn't know. He didn't know that olives are whole things with pits. Okay, okay. Wow. The court's in session. Hold on, let me. We went to Italy.

Let me say that. We looked at the olives in the backyard and they're fucking. My defense. What did you think they were? My defense does not change that that is true. But I want to say what I exactly said. What I exactly said was, you know how the olives that are on pizza are like the darker olives? Yeah. Like black olives.

Yeah. And the olives that are on like a martini that James Bond would drink, they're like green and they have the red. Yeah, yeah. Green olives, yeah. So those ones, I always picture as like whole olives. But the black olives, I hadn't remembered ever seeing one. So I said out loud, I just realized that those are full at some point.

I've always thought they were just slices. She said, you're an idiot. And I said, yep. So fair. And then you said, don't ever fucking talk to me ever again. And that's the thing I always do, which was violent

wow don't ever tell don't ever talk to me like that again and I would never I found this out and I was like well two people

need to know I'm happy I should thank you she was like and she said she said I'm gonna go buy some cause then we can put them

on our fingers what you guys are made for each other how did I lose in this scenario She said, I'm going to go buy some because then we can put them on our fingers. What? You guys are made for each other. You guys are like, how did I lose in this scenario? You clearly are dumb. She's like, she's put the olives on her fingers and you're the idiot. Dude, me and Josh, we're like scraping the resin of Liam's dreams. Oh my God.

Dude, your hyper fixation on Liam won't stop. I'm spitting. He a he's a super mario 64 runner he's a 120 star runner very og is he the guy who's like very like not monotone like yeah yeah yeah and he's i love it yeah and he's so we were like he's like not live it's been our ritual just to sit and watch him do runs and then uh he wasn't he hasn't been live for a while because he's a human being and then um we're like what do we do he's like you want to watch some vods and i'm like oh dude i'm like no we won't watch vods because we'd have to go way far back and that'd be weird let's watch his pb because we've never seen it on youtube okay so we just watch his pb wait you

didn't see his like recent pb the recent carbless PB. We hadn't seen it. Sure. And so we're just watching that. And it's still nice, but it's like methadone instead of heroin. It's just supposed to keep us at bay. Yeah. You're drinking Diet Coke. And so, yeah, we've just been really trying to find a high there. He's great, dude. He makes me understand everything.

It is crazy. He fixes the puzzle. He makes me understand everything. It is crazy. He fixes the puzzle. If you go to a Liam chat, it'll be most of the friend group just watching now. Yeah. There's tons of Melee people in there.

He's good. He's a good streamer. It's crazy. It's all around a good. I'm just so... I just found someone that I think I understand. Why are you so smitten? Because he's cracked at the game he he responds to chat in ways that just make a lot of sense like he doesn't give them too much

he gets mad in the appropriate places he lets them have it in the in appropriate places he's like this very balanced machine of interacting while being really sick at the game it's i strive for that so when i'm I've been streaming a lot more and I'm like, what would Liam do in this situation when some, like an asshole asked me how my fucking day was or something? What would Liam do? And then I just do that.

When some fucking asshole asked me how my day's going. Bro, that's normal. I don't get it. Wait, court is in session. Court's back. And now we're on slime. Court is back. Dumb shit. Cause we were all hanging out. Who's the dumb shit? We're on slime. Court is back. Dubbin's G.

We were all hanging out at Dubbin's last night, as we do, best friends. I thought his message when you invited everyone was really funny. Dubbin, I don't drink. Yeah, you made a 10-person group chat instead of using the Discord that we have as human being friends. You just made a 10-person group chat with random people that first came to mind.

And then I was in there and you said, do y'all want to play beerio no well i read it as like a general extension to come hang out and that was a good read and then he came out and he hung out and it was fun and i'm glad that it was weird what you did it wasn't weird and then mike was like am i allowed to go i'm like of course you're allowed to go yeah but like mike wasn't in the chat they felt bad about it well you the chat caps out of 10 well then pick better i'm not drinking that and that's why he's dubbing court well i'm still on dubbing side anyway so we get we get back in and cutie cutie like she saw her first shooting star says i saw my first slime interaction today And we were like What happened? And she's like well this really young kid came up to him

And said hey I'm really sorry I gotta ask for a photo And then slime said well you're not sorry Because you asked And then the kid went like Didn't know what to say And slime's like Do you still want the photo?

And the kid was like yes? And he's like okay Like okay Took the photo and then I had an important question that none of us had the answer to Which was which was I mean had he just lost when this happened is that? You are a psycho. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think I did. Because I went over there in the crowd because Salami was in the crowd with a sign that had PhD's Nuts' LinkedIn.

And you had just taken a photo with him. Yeah, but i did walk over to do that to you with my friend which and then you start walking back and all of a sudden it's picture time people are jumping out of their seats to take pictures and i'm like i was like okay uh but it was like the fifth one and i'm just trying to get back over there right and these mobs keep aggroing me and so the the the final guy uh he was like I'm really sorry but I got because I was like already very clearly like he's looking at a picture I'm like sure and I was just trying to be like I'm going to do this but I

want to do it fast and I want to go I want to go and then the fifth guy saw all this and was like well me too and that's why I was like kind of annoyed uh so this all happened but i believe it was after i lost but i'll be honest here i just i wasn't really salty anymore so it wasn't really about it because someone did come up literally after i lost in the tournament i walked through the door and this guy because i'm like i'm trying to find where the food is i'm trying to look for my mendocino yeah i want the couscous bad. I need it. Couscous is so good. It's so good. I crack the door open, and there's a couple people hanging outside.

And this guy's like, yo, slime, dude. And he comes up to me. I'm like, not the time, man. And I just, you know, that's a buzz off. Because I was like, dude, I didn't even know that. Court in session. Anyway. Do we think slime is psycho? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Definitely. Why? Definitely. Anyway, uh do we think time is psycho?

Definitely yeah, but the kid in cuties words kid like you fucking 13 years old he was 19 Yeah, do we know he said he was 18? I? Think he was he was a college kid. Okay, which college adult sure But I think I just think, it wasn't so bad because the way she phrased it was afterwards, he was like, because she went up to him, he was like, well, it's just slime. It's like, it's, you know, what do you expect from slime? Or like, it was a slime. Sure. It's kind of what I expected.

Like, he had some sort of expectation. The kid said something, I believe, to be very wise for his age. What did he say? He said, well, at least I got to be in my own slime interaction. I got, I got to have one. He saw it as like the thing on TV. He was in that.

You backed yourself into this corner. I didn't back myself into shit. I don't care. You turn yourself into a wild coyote. Everyone wants to see you run into a wall. Whatever. I look, I just want to be left alone most of the time.

And at the end of the event, it was picture time. Like the, the crowd literally flooded in and everyone had a little line. Like it was a fucking carnival. And I was like, okay, picture time. I was way more happier. So you did picture time at the end? It was great.

People were talking about it. They were a great crowd. But it was just like, it was like, I don't know. I didn't feel like doing that at the time. And that's my goddamn American right. No, pickles weren't the worst part of my day. The worst part was the guy came up and he was like, can I have a picture? And I'm saying it that way because the next thing he said which was I was like, yeah sure He pulled out his phone. He's like you just show effortlessly cool

But someone coming up to you and being like hey, I'm really sorry you can I please you're right My dad was not doing all your time. Yeah, hey, I'm really sorry. Can I please? You're right. My guy was not doing your time. Yeah, this guy did the thing publicly. He knows I hate. Yeah, that is like played out and unfunny because he's for you. It's just he's talked about that so many times for you. They just they just want a photo with someone they like so much. And we've talked about these interactions so much that every person is like fumbling over those a shake to try

I don't think that you're not sorry thing holds because I think that when they say sorry They're not saying like sorry for taking a picture They're saying like I'm sorry that and they're making them They're making a bet that the amount that they want the photo outweighs how little you want to take it. And they're saying, I'm sorry if that is wrong, but I'm trying to, I want to get this thing I want because I really like you. And I'm sorry if I'm wrong about how this scales. I think I ascribe, and this is a problem I've actually been working on is I ascribe the bad faith to people like just more often than not probably way more often than not so like when I think of that interaction

I think he is just selfish he's so selfish that he wants a picture and I'm fucking I don't want to do this he's not thinking about that because he says I'm sorry but I really want this again my logic is I don't think you really are you're less sorry than you are

desperate you should start telling people to prove they're sorry. I'm not kidding. I should have said that. I should have said that. Swear fealty. Swear fealty. Yeah. Swear fealty.

I should have said prove that you're sorry and be like, I don't know how to do that. And I'm like, me neither. But you said it. Well, when you figure it out, you will earn a photograph. You're so different. Yeah. Well, you you figure it out, you will earn a photograph. We are so different. Yeah. Well, you've accepted this idea. When I, if I was Liam Pill, I should have been thinking, what would Liam do in this

situation? He'd be like, sure, man. Like, that's it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. But I don't know, man. It's because I've identified the problem is I just don't consider myself a fucking content

person. I'm just a guy first. And I forget that I just am. And I have to like swallow that pill. And I just don't consider myself a fucking content person. I'm just a guy first. And I forget that I just am. And I have to like swallow that pill. And I just forget. I just forget. Because if I go into a gymnasium full of people and they claim to see me, I'm not really going to act like that.

To me, I was just like a guy who was playing dodgeball with YouTube. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. And that's not realistic. That's not reasonable. But they are there to see you. But that's my default state. Yeah, that's fair. That's good maybe for your whole life you guys see they're they're

making a new john wick no yeah and in the trailer he he takes a sharpened factor meal and flings it at the bad guy's head and it just sticks in his head and does the guy die yeah well obviously yes but god but the nutrients from the factor meal go into his head and he's revived like like the fungus in the last of us yeah so it's actually very it's like it's hard to do damage with a factor meal because they're so nutritious and easy to make it's like a tree dying but an acorn that you can sharpen the corners of the meal into a weapon easily they're so they're they're so good for you they're so good for you they can't so good for you, they can't do damage. I wish you would sharpen your teeth into points like Riff Raff. And I also wish that you guys would enjoy Factor's new options. Keto, Calorie Smart, Vegan Plus Veggie, Protein Plus.

Let's get some gains because Aiden's losing all of his because he's leaving the podcast to go on a mission to Australia. Yeah, he's going to go spread the good word of Jesus Christ and he won't be doing it with his gains because he's deciding not to use Factor, which really dumb idiotic idea which means more factor for us more factor for us slime and it's approved by dieticians prepared by chefs it'll make us big and strong and it tastes good takes two minutes in the microwave fucking huge when you're not gonna be big i'm gonna go to oz i'm gonna do calisthenics powered by protein factor meals

and then i'm gonna one punch you both on set. But we, the thing is you, you actually might have something there because there's so many meal choices. You'll never get bored of getting so huge. That's true. Oh, and I want to get so big. So factor meals.com slash a yard 50, every box, every, sorry, every order you make with factor meals.com slash a yard 50 will go towards getting Aiden off of this podcast and into the prison colony that is Australia.

And some will go to the funding of the new John Wick movie. Use the code yard50. The yard50 is the code. That's right. It's America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit. Use the code theyard50. Use the code theyard50. America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit so you can send me to Australia To fund my prison sentence in Australia

Because someone's gotta do it And that's why the country was made Thanks let's get back to the episode For prisoners Dude I met someone who flew to this event from New York That day So they didn't come in the day before They flew in that day

And they flew out that night That's badass That sucks Dude one guy was there from South Africa That's what that must be like vacation outside. No he was he It's he said he lined up like he had to come to LA for a different reason But he like lined that up with this so he could do it all at once he also came to chess boxing And he lives in South Africa. that's crazy worse for anthony padilla he was there was three there's a group of three

people that uh work on anthony padilla's videos uh and they were all there together sick yeah that's yeah it was elon musk he's showing up he's coming in saying like hey honey honey badger don't care honey badger oh we had a great oh me and it and Mike. It's funny, I put you in the position of Mike because it was a conversation I think we either have had or would have, but I asked Mike on the way home because we drove together, I was like, would you would you blow Elon

Musk for a hundred rack? And Mike said, no. No, what they said was I would rather blow him than like mentally blow him and spend all day being around him and saying you're so funny and you're so cool i'd rather actually just fucking and instead of do that and i was like you know what me too like i i have i have enough pride so i wouldn't do the second one and i would like to open the floor

um and are you saying that like so a genie waves a magic wand where like your praise cannot be ironic your praise can't be ironic so like yeah you have to just like genuinely say you're the best dude and you have to like mean it right whatever whatever that cost is yeah yeah for to make it real or blow him or blow him but you have to hang out with him all day and you have to make him feel great about how funny he is it feels like an easy question you gotta blow him and he comes around can i do both can i do both half of the time can i spend 50 50 percent of my time can i blow him and then only have to hang out for half the day that i don't have a load yeah can I blow him and then whisper the compliments can I blow him and then only have to hang out for half a day after that I don't have a load

can I blow spit 90k plus residuals plus residuals are you and Zuckerberg fighting no that was

that was dead fucking lame Zuck's also hurt what would you guys do because because the girl in the movie broke up with him

physically from BJJ I wouldn't hurt him if I was that damn what would you from from BJJ I wouldn't hurt him that was that then what would you guys do BJJ yeah you'd blow him BJ lock it in oh no I'm giving him comments really yeah I'm being like you know low-key before Twitter you had some ideas yeah that's probably you wouldn't. I'd be like bro. You're gonna see Mars. That's kind of cool. I Give him the toothiest blowjob Braces on for a big you to it. Well you can't

Braces you don't have braces for the blowjob. It's like ironically hurting. Yeah, you know And you are making sure he busts in your fucking mouth. It's true. It's true. There's no braces. You're being weird about it now. You're not commenting. You're not scraping the black off. You're not really about blowing him off.

You are sucking him dry. You're not really about blowing him. I guess I'd have to be. So I didn't have to compliment him. I guess you could be a dick about it. Like, you could, like, say he sucks. But you still have to get him to completion. You could be like, you got a micro. Oh, yeah, say he sucks You still to get him to complete like you got oh, yeah I get a while I have to compliment him cuz you're in the other world. No funny, bro

Yeah, you're not funny your Twitter sucks. You can shame him. Hmm. I'll just stay hard. I don't even like this He's I guess he does have to stay hard cuz he has to blow Well Didn't mr. Beast video what you went to the island I went yeah Fuck you Mr. T. Do you know this no I did the Mr. Beast video Wait you went to the island? I went Yeah When the fuck did you leave? Mr. Teens Do you not know this? No

I went last week I went one day I went one day I went to Miami Same day they announced GTA Miami Did you hear that I don't know if I said this

On the podcast But Nick Yingling Was negotiating your flights Like open mic During the COD event Was he? On Aiden's stream But he goes

I thought I was far enough Away from the mic That you wouldn't hear me I'm like, bro. Surely, you know, it's like yes, mr. Beast. Yes anything you want He was like you just like talking about like where you're going and like yeah A lot of we can go to the island and all this stuff and it just sound like you're gonna Epstein situation Yeah, give him the whole package What's the masquerade?

14 16 in 17 He wants the masquerade ball. Can we do that? 14, 16, and 17. We go, he's doing... Oh, it's Bogo? Yeah, yeah, let's do that. I won't leak the whole video, but basically we had to go to an island off, like, the Keys. It was a small island. Yeah, go on. It was like... Was it, like, a little, like, saint type of island?

It was not an Epstein island. Well Saint who's not on the Eppstein Island Can't be sure I was very good at Eppstein Island We'll know until the video comes out I went to Jeffrey Eppstein's Island and played Fortnite in real life We did make up- I put a hundred kids in a circle A circle around my water There were about a hundred Eppstein jokes filmed there. I don't think one will make it Aw, hopefully not.

Too political for old Epstein. Yeah, because Mr. Beast probably knew him. No! He knew him in the bad way. Oh, he was really old. How old was he? Oh, sad. Now this is dark.

In my head, when Mr. Beast was like seven, he still had the same head. Like he had his adult head. Like DK big head mode? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he has the boy body, but he has the current head. He's always had it. That's how I admit it. It's like Goo Goo Gaga.

I think the last time I hung out with Mr. Beast was when we did the yard there. Really? Which was a while ago. It's been that long? It's been like a year and change. A year and change, right? A year and a half? And so it's been a while and his life has changed.

He's bigger now. Yeah. And I could tell because when we were first hanging out in the morning, this dude came over, one of the dudes that works with him, and he just hands him a phone and he's like, Kyle, age seven, a few weeks. And it was a make a wish. No way. And he just had like a, like every morning, five or 10 or whatever, make a wish kids who

pick him. And then he makes a customized video. And which is pretty tough task. He's like, go for Jimmy. And it's a, it's a, no, I cannot do an hour. I cannot do an hour. I'll do 30 minutes. I'll do 30.

And you get no food when I come. You know how I work, baby. You know how I work. Hey Kyle, you know, I love you. You know how I work, baby. You know how I work. Hey, Kyle. You know I love you. You know I like you. So he records a video for Make-A-Wish Kids every day, like a few. And then I think to make it easier if there's people around, he likes putting the people in it.

Sure. Which normally makes sense because it's like, hey, it's Carl from Mr. Beast. Hey, it's Chris from Mr. Beast. But then he threw it to me. And so I've had a couple videos where it's just like it's everyone having a good time. It's like, hey, you know, it's me from Mr. Beast, but then he threw it to me. And so I've been a couple videos where it's just like, it's everyone having a good time. It's like, Hey, you know, you know, it's me for Mr. Beast and you're not allowed to say get well. Okay.

It's one of the rules. Sure. Sure. You just can't say it. I'm sure there's like a, there's like some sort of thing you got to know. So stay frosty. I just didn't want to. Yeah.

So I just go, I'm Ludwig. Hope you're having a good one. That is so sweet. Like what a Sisyphean task to like wake up every day and be like, all right, I got to bang out a bunch of Make-A-Wish videos. Because there's always a new kid. There's always, there's a lot of kids. And like, there's always a huge audience.

Oh my God. It's just very sweet because he doesn't have to do that. I think like. Do kids like Mr. Beast because they want money? I think... They just like him. They just watch the guy on the TV. This is when I realized...

I think when I really realized kids like Mr. Beast is I went to the 7-Eleven that's around here and I had to go... I was just buying stuff. It's like 10.30 at night. He's buying tiny condoms for the tiny condoms. A dad walks in with like three kids clearly below the age of seven.

They see Feastables on the counter and they fucking lose it. I've seen this happen too. Mr. Mr. Rich Chocolate, dude! Fuck! No way! And they're all like waving their arms like this. And they're all equally waving their arms like this And it's like And they're all

Equally excited about it And then the dad bought them three big Gulps and they left which I don't Think they I'm not a parent but it's 1030pm And You know like late night gulp I don't think

It's okay to gulp at night A good gulp night for the boys But they don't it it's okay to gulp at night it's okay to gulp at night a good gulp night for the boys but they don't it's like they're not watching a Mr. Beast video hoping they get fucking a million dollars

one day or maybe they are but I think they just love him they're just watching the biggest the most popular videos on the platform and seeing the guy in it

and they're like guy what's the average age of someone who comments can we all just appreciate how hard Jimmy works for the content he makes us what's the average age 17 well 95 are bots really for sure to see see my pussy now but they're based on they're based off a true story sure actually that's real shit that's real johnny sin saying like if you're watching this in 2023, see my pussy now.

Fucking open my OnlyFans and here's my Bitcoin wallet. XH07. I forgot what I asked. You asked the average age of Jimmy Beast's audience. I don't know. I can't. I think the average age of the person posting that comment is 17. Because that's when I would post a comment like that.

We all live through the life of the lens of Amon. We all live life through the lens of Amon. It doesn't make any damn sense. It's Amon's world and we're just living inside of it. I didn't understand it. We almost had a divorce. Wait, what do you mean? Dude, oh my god. What happened?

Did the ballot break? I- I- I- Is it cause- Wait, did you- Is it because we're both fucked up? Did you relay the information of our- what we decided to him? Yes. Dude, oh my god. What happened? Did the ballot break? I, I, I. Is it because, is it gross? Did you relay the information of our, what we decided to him? Yes. Oh, I did, yeah, yeah.

He didn't really care. No, no, what I told him is that it was favored. I didn't explain the situation because I know he actually doesn't care, but I just said it was favored in my, in my discord. Yeah. But ultimately not a big deal. So if you, I made him just watch it if he wants to watch it which he never will so it's fine we had a divorce because we we've been playing valo

together more and more and it didn't start good it was a rocky start i lost you guys i think this is when you lost like 10 games we lost six straight well that was like on one stream one night we lost like six straight yes and then he fucking he would get so mad at me for shit it's like dude i just answered a chat question and then he'd be like i can't listen to you i can't listen i'm muting you i'm muting you i can't listen to you he it's like dude what the fuck do you want from me it's because a lot of times it wasn't even me being mad at people i would just be like responding and be like yeah drank man that's cool i can't listen to you i can't listen to you it's like i'm not the fucking enemy here drank man broke you well i was watching

because you said please because son kept yelling please drank man and ludwig finally after you say that the fucking 200th time ludwig's like why do you keep saying that I think I was watching when he asked you why do you keep saying that I think you said it's not important you didn't answer him you were just like don't worry about it yeah dude it was really bad at one point because you just got mad

and so then you'd be like well don't ask fucking dumb questions please and I'm like dude I'm like I'm like because I'm trying to like calm with my team and come over the divorce come in and so the divorce comes after I'm nice we have a sunset game yeah and we've lost a lot and I've dropped to gold I or this is my gold d rank maybe i forget what you start at plat one okay somewhere high

uh and then and then uh and then and then it doesn't go great that game i make a couple calls team don't really listen to the calls and then i just shut down yeah he made a call and i i wasn't i didn't really understand it was the first time i played on a new map literally the first time and the other the team was also annoying and this this one person was like I have no sound so that's it was like okay And then this like plan didn't go a lot of explain just shuts down, and you know how he shuts down Mm-hmm just zero comms and I just pissed now yeah, and then so after the game ends we lose he says I'm just gonna go play a solo queue on the stream breaks up with me.

That's crazy. I know. I know. I was stunned. Your boy is left behind. Were you streaming too? No, I was only streaming. I wasn't live.

You weren't live. I wasn't live. And I said what I wanted to do. I said, he said, do you want to play another? And I said, what I really want to do is I want a solo queue, and I want to listen to music, and I want to not talk. Whoa. And then I wanted to do. I said, I, he said, do you want to play another? And I said, what I really want to do is I want to solo cue and I want to listen to music and I want to not talk. Whoa. And then I did the exactly that.

That's dark. Dude, it was fucked up. And like, I have to, I have to, basically it was like a live, like cucking of me.

I basically, I am masculine. You emasculated me because you said that went so bad. I don't want to play with you. That's essentially what you're saying. Right. Look for people who watch us, who either don't play video games or don't like when we talk about video

games, imagine you went to a concert with your friend. And when you got there, you're like, so where, where do you want to like, what you want to watch from right stage? Or like,

you want to try to get to the front. And they're like, I think I want to go dance over there. Like by myself. For another analogy, imagine you wanted to smoke a cigarette to the front and they're like, I think I want to go dance over there like by myself for another analogy Just crave it if you're currently sleep watching this episode cigarettes They're good for you. They replace meals

and water. And so we go our separate way, divorce. I don't want to understate how fucking hard this hurt me.

It hurt me too. I played so bad and he's so frustrated. One of my best friends just doesn't want to play video games with me and he didn't even like put up

for the gram. He didn't even, he like, he didn't just play one out and then like, know maybe play one later he said live i just want to play so i don't want to fuck with the funk i didn't want to identify the problem and bitch it's you i didn't want to say hey i i'm gonna log off then play another i wanted to tell you straight yeah but what you should really tell me Is you fucked that game up And I don't like playing with you

Because it wasn't accurate To say that It's more like Hey I've gone to the point Where I cannot calm Effectively in a game I would rather play With you being silent

As a killjoy Than you solo queuing It's crazy that You wouldn't think that But they're both Bad options for you Uh yeah But it's like

You don't break up the band You don't break up the band I broke up the band And you know what happened Did you win? Dude I match MVP Uh, yeah, but I- it's like, you don't break up the band. You don't break up the band. I broke up the band. And you know what happened? Did you win? Dude, I match MVP and I played Electric. I had like a 26 kill KJoy- Killjoy game.

No, dude. And he started fucking so many girls, dude. He fucking went to the club and then- I go to Plat 1, I gain like 26 RRs, an amazing game. Girls start grinding on him out of nowhere and he's like, was it my Wii and Holy? Oh my god, he doesn't even ask! He doesn't even ask! The bartenders gave him free drinks, dude! And then Slime goes his separate way.

How could it be a hotel, motel, and a holiday inn? Obviously it can. So I play a solo queue game as well. I said, I guess I'll solo queue too. I guess I'll try to see other people. I match MVP. Wow. Maybe it was good that you guys. What's up?

I play electric. Maybe it's good that you guys. I'm crazy. Start dating other people. Yeah. You're with a lawyer. He's with a doctor. You're happy.

So what happens is. Living in Highland Park. We do all this. And then he gives me a call after we're both done with our thing. Because I had his stream open. I actually closed it while I was playing. Not the booty call. I was like, I can't look. I can't look at him while I play. Not the booty call. And so then I pulled it up after. I don't want to know their names.

I don't want to know their names. I saw you match MVP and I was like, oh shit, I did too. This is crazy. Oh, you're doing good. I'm doing good. It's crazy I saw you here in the airport like what are you where are you going

you look good you look really you look really good oh my god we're both going to Florida taking care of yourself I think that's I think it's great

you always did like working out yeah yeah it's great you still have like the little magnet on your face that's stupid

that's stupid and so he calls me up and he's like you want to give it another shot? Please tell me you lost. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. We get in this game. A miserable piece of shit.

Phoenix on our team. Just such a dick. Right back to where we left off. Just making damn like fucking like Nazi jokes and shit. Open mic the whole time. Super loud. Like, aha! This is my fucking fake account.

I'm going to send it. Just screaming while Ludwig's trying to clutch or something. He'd be like, can you be quiet while I'm trying to clutch? And then the whole time, be like, oh, you need to be quiet? You need to be quiet? I'll be quiet? You need to be quiet? Yo, Kildare, sorry.

I was talking too much. And it was like, dude, fucking end your life. And he's like like he's really good and which also sucks and we're just playing we're like playing this fucking tight close game with these assholes that we fucking hate and the other guys are dicks too and then fucking ludwig he gets three kills last round fucking swings around kills the last fucking guy boom headshot go to the fucking stat screen three more combat score match mvp then the phoenix because the guy the whole game was going well well, I'm still

going to MVP. That's huge. I'm still going to MVP. You got Adam as a friend after that. And then at the very end, at the very end, as it ends, that's the last thing he says after I get the last kill is he goes, I'm still MVP. And then I see the fucking screen and it's me. And I Adam as a friend immediately. And I go, guess you were an MVP

on Adam as a friend. Let's go. And now we're back forever. I was more, I was never, I was, when the subathon ended, I sleep. When Dubbin did that, I was the most proud of him I've ever been in my life. Laser eyes. And it felt so good. We're back on. All right, so your past partners, you've dumped them, you're back together.

Wow. The gang is back he eats my pussy like a dog like a dog not like a dog's we're both dogs and he's eating

my dog pussy right well that's fair that's good that's just good for the ecosystem that's how honey gets made I think

oh man I'm happy for you guys Yeah we're back together You know what makes me sad That we've all broken up Because we could all be going to Universal after this But thing one and thing two here want to bail Yeah that is fucked

I didn't want to bail I never agreed in the first place That's bailing He's not bailing Because he never said he was going Let's just go two hour i opt out of the win condition there's nothing what is i don't know what that meant two two hour yeah let's just go you can fucking bail whenever just go see super mario world it is fucked up because you love mario and you've grown up and you love him and you're bailing on your child would kill himself if he saw you have an opportunity to go to fucking Nintendo World and see Super Mario and his friend Toad.

Yeah. Little Eamon didn't have fucking responsibilities. Little Eamon thought it was fun to wobble people. And why do you do everything you do? Why do I do everything I do? Isn't it for Little Eamon? I thought it was for Little Eamon. Where's he?

Let me ask you, if the child inside you is dead, what's left? What's next? Is it the grave? Oh, the grave's there. Lil' Eamon's where he is now, he's on Epstein Island. What?! Lil' Eamon's on Epstein Island forever, and you've kept him there. And you know what? The circle's closing.

Yeah, the circle's closing. The circle's closing, and he doesn't have a gas mask. He doesn't have a med kit. He doesn't have a med kit. No med kit. No gas mask. He's got fucking... And he's got a blue scar and not a lot of ammo, brother. No mats. No mats.

And I have to go to Universal to get him out. You gotta rift him out. Yeah. Yeah. You can be the hero. You can rift. You can rift him. For little ass, big headed ass aiming in the backseat.

He has such a big ass head. Wow, I just didn't think about it this way. He has such a big ass head. Do they have food there? No, they don't. They don't have food at a theme park. Yes, they do. Yes, they do.

That's bad. That's bad. I don't want to go there. They have very cute food, in fact. I'm so fucking hungry. You can eat little Mario mushrooms. They got little Mario balls. Little Eamon would love the Mario mushrooms.

Mario mushrooms are really good. They're nutritious, but they're also candy, but they're healthy for you. And look like mushrooms. And when you bite them, they regenerate and they go look like mushrooms. And when you bite them they regenerate and they go back to full. And when you see when you see Mario you can go

oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Baby Ouija. Oh you jeopardize the industry of the whole thing I care about.

That is true. What are you doing planning a universal trip you cuck. Nasty little cuck. What? What are you talking about? Because Nintendo fucks the shit out of our ideas

as Melee players and Melee organizers. We love Nintendo. Nintendo's great. I'm gonna go take a pee somewhere funny. We love Nintendo. I'm gonna slip a little crack into the Mario mascot. Nintendo fan number one, Nintendo fan number two. 1A1B, really. Don't do the shocker.

I should, dude, I should go show my fuck Nintendo tattoo to, like, the Mario guy in the outfit. Dude! That's kind of wrong. Hey, white boy, you like this? You like this? It's you smoking a blunt. Taking a photo with him with that. And then me saying, fuck your family.

Oh, okay. Well, that's a little... I don't like that. I don't like that. That's because you that's a little... I don't like that. Because you're Italian. We like you is what we'd say. We like you. We've seen the Mario song. How's it going?

Uh, we're the Mario Brothers and Plum is the game. Whoa, dude. Don't do the voice. Yeah, you can't do the voice. Just do it like yourself. I'm Lou Albano. Alright, you can do the voice. You know the actors. That's who plays Mario in that show. Did you know that?

No, I didn't. Yeah, Lou Albano. He was Mario. Wow, a little switch moment for them. This is a switch moment where you don't know something about TV. Yeah, this is huge. Fucking Lou Albano. And I respect him for it. Lou Albano's whole fucking face comes on the screen.

He's fucking, hey, paisanos. Paisanos. I'm going to kill myself. Now we're in. It's going to be so fun, Dubber. It's Paisanos! I'm gonna kill myself in a hour and a half! It's gonna be so fun, Dubbin. It's gonna be fun, we're gonna have a good time. I'm excited now. I'm not. I don't care, I don't care. Slime with the shysty says, I will not go.

Would you jump out of a helicopter into the water? I- no, I can't swim, you fucking idiot. I have a queben for a thing we could actually do. We always talk about- we're always talking about Pull your head off of the physical hopper bullet. No! That's desert eagle from commercial England. For a thing we could actually do. We always talk about- We're always talking about- Pull your head off of the special hopper bullet! NOOOO! That's Desert Eagle from Commissary Eagle.

It goes everywhere and looks like a crash dummy in an experiment. This is just- Looks like Mythbusters proving something wrong. And the redhead's there too and she's my wife. They just- they- why are they side- they're side-tracking me. Well, sorry. What do you want to do with us, Eamon? I want a paramotor!

We could paramotor together. I'm not doing that. We talked about this yet. You won to do with us? I want a paramotor we could You won't do it either so okay You won't paramotor well to give some context I jumped out of a helicopter into the ocean at a mr. Beast video whoa because the island was a bunch of water sports you use the jump to use a parachute No way we Joe was like 30 feet above the water. No parachute. What if you jump too high and you cut your head off on the rotors? That was a fear. There was a lot of fears. It's scary.

Yeah. But one of the things we could have done was paragliding, I think, or parasailing. The one where it's just a boat and then you got the fucking... Yeah. And I wouldn't do it. That scares the shit out of me. And paramotor is that but scarier. Yeah.

And you're above clouds. Yeah. I'm yeah doing it because i'm pretty sure we have a guy who'd take us on a dual tandem paramotor you're ever riding a plane you're like you'd be better if i was sitting on the wing of this plane i yeah i refuse it's too scary man i'll fly a cessna yeah that's not it's not the same thing. It's just a different thing. It sounds like a pillow that makes you look bigger. I find a Cessna is more safe. Yeah. Well, listen. We've talked about doing

a podcast episode in a plane with Aiden's dad. We could do that. It would be such shit audio. We could race from the front of the plane to the back of the plane. We could run as fast as we can. And then we could jump

in the back of the plane constantly. We could jump and see if we could make it sag. And then he has to save the plane. The pilot is not the plane. He has to save us. Listen, man, I'm not doing a fucking paramotor. I'm not going to Universal. I don't do shit. I don't go outside. I don't fuck

with you. You got paramotors down here. I'm gonna be like that down there. Talking about? Talking about? We don't motorboat penises enough. You know what? You're right. It's like Casey Frey tweeting,

hairs on the shaft are okay. And then following up with the, we don't motorboat penis enough. Would you rather blow Elon to completion for $100,000 or motorboat his penis for the entire day? For the same amount of money? For the same amount of money. It's just too long for the whole day.

I'd rather get it over quick. It's the thing you don't like? Yeah, I guess it is. You gotta really be... You're tasting cock for a long day. What a bad question. It's light. It's light.

It's just a bad question. What a bad question. He'd probably pride himself on how long he lasts. And I don't know. I don't think I'd be good at it. I'd be great. You think he'd suck dick like a fucking champion? I have one.

That doesn't mean shit. Yes, it does. That's why women are so terrible at blowjobs. Just because you have a wallet doesn't mean you're good at money. For one, it does. Because they don't have penis in Sephora. They don't have penises.

What are they gonna fucking... You know? And I'll say it again. And I'll say it again. I'll say it more bad. I'll say it worse in a way that makes me seem like a bad guy.

Dude. Do you know what I realized that I'm sad about? Next week's episode it is it's gonna be the first episode I ever miss the first main episode

what really thank god that's gonna be a bad more funnier wait that is a better episode so you've missed an episode right I missed

yeah called Jacob's we've all missed an episode with the exception of you so this will be you this is my first main episode that is so interesting it'll be the last fashion of the yard

are we gonna just ask three or are we gonna to get guests? So someone could feasibly edit a yard episode with no one in it. Yes. Wait, what? You basically take every episode that someone wasn't at and then you put that seat. I see what you're saying. It's really stupid

but I do understand what you're saying. So then it would just be a silent episode. Because you could probably find our cameras change a little bit sometimes but you could probably find... Our cameras change a little bit sometimes, but you could probably find a string of episodes where the cameras have not changed at all and then replace our seats for everyone. Well, no, because...

And try to make a full episode of all of us from different episodes. It's hard because the old season set is one where... That would make it harder. I'm going to say, we have a bunch of episodes on this set

you just take any four episodes plop us out individually and then slice it all in and then try to make it make sense try to make an episode you know what I'm

we're just talking over each other the whole time I think I'd be worried I think I'd be worried that the episode would be listenable and it and then it would really mean

and we'd be formulaic yeah hey man I'll miss you none of them will say it but i'll miss you and i hope you have a good time in australia if you die i'll miss you how about that if you die i'll be sad yeah but you won't have wanted me to be sad i'm gonna go i'll get over it very quickly i'm gonna go to a water park i'll get over quickly for you you're brave you're a brave guy well I know he

wouldn't want me to be sad yeah he would want you to get over it immediately and so I will and remarry what do you want to be buried with

buried with you have one thing you can be buried with pick slime pick slime pick slime no no no he's alive

no no no he'd be buried with slime I want you to bury me with slime alive with slime alive. Yeah.

I want the slime alive in my coffin. You ever seen this one? And then that way to save slime. You ever seen this one? He said, dig me back up. And he breaks the earth. And I climb out and I order a glass of water. I kept saying fucking one punch slime out there. Takes one ball.

Yeah, it was nice, baby. Kill a man. That was crazy, bro. Yeah, you know what? Final word before we leave you with the bonus episode uh after by the way dnd will be canceled if you don't watch a bonus episode true yeah we're getting rid of it you better all get on it uh me and myth i think delivered some real a1 sports commentary i love that yeah yeah it felt it felt really fun to pretend to be like a basketball commentator or something.

I watched it. That was totally my way. It was really fun. I like that guy. You guys did great. I smooch him, man. Also check out Nick on Hitch's podcast where he talks about his love of God. That's so beautiful.

Did you watch me on Hitch's podcast? I watched the 45-minute God section. I'm going to watch it on stream and give you grades. It's not like a stream watch. Oh, I will. Okay, sure. It's more of an interview. On.5 speed. I think you'll enjoy it, but it's more of an interview. I like watching my friends on stream and then reacting

to them and being like, he said this because one time we watched a Nordwar video. He used to do this in private and then grade us individually. Oh, I do it every day of my life. I just do it in my head. Isn't that fun? Because I know that Hitch will see this, I'm going to give him some constructive criticism. You ready for this?

Before, as we get out. So the main podcast was fine. It was a little too interview for my taste, but I think it's an interview show, so that makes sense. You know, other people like being interviewed. But the, but his. But here's a tip. But his bonus episode, which is like their paywall thing.

It was beer pong where you shoot And you're you're on the same team and you're trying to like sink the cups and there's a little amount of throws as possible But before you throw they ask you an uncomfortable question And if you don't want to answer it your throw is worth double points, and you want the lowest score possible Which is like fun? But they asked they didn't change any of the questions from the last time they did this. So every time it was Hitch's turn, he'd go, well, I answered this last week. What are you doing?

But I don't know what to say because same question. We had the worst run of beer pong ever recorded. We missed 81 times. Oh, dude. You can imagine. I missed 81 times. Oh, dude. You can imagine. I have like fear pong. You can imagine how hard it was to record this. Oh my God.

When he can't answer any of the questions. They had 81 questions ready to go? They also, most of the questions were things I answered in the interview. Right. And people were paying to watch it. Wow. So I was like, we're going to work on the paywall content. We're going to get together.

We're going to figure something out. And he's like, that's great. I have an appointment to touch up my bus and haircut and then we can get right. I let him have it too much on that one. Hey, around the bar. Great show with Hitch. I did that podcast. Go watch that.

Make it their most viewed episode. Let's laugh about that. That's funny. And with that, I say to buy to say to you, to buy to you.