The Yard - Ep. 135 - Making Aiden Famous

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

This week, the boys talk about Nadeshots tweets about President Biden, french people taking over the superbowl party, and how Aiden should start dating an NFL player...

I'm just thinking of the work I'll have to do this week. It's a busy work week. You have a busy work week. And it's also Valentine's Day, which is like... It's kind of like a work day if you think about it. Valentine. I don't want to phrase it like that, because I actually enjoy the act of it,

but it's a little bit of work. I mean, once I show up, it's fun, but... The preparation is work. The prep is the work. It's stress. Nick wrote down a reminder to buy flowers. Buy flowers. And I hope you're listening, too, to buy flowers. This is a secret message to all bad boyfriends.

Or situationships. Here's a nod, yes, nod secret message. Today is Valentine's Day if you're watching this. Oh I know, I know today. If you're watching and you didn't know it was this week, you might just... There's one person watching this on Thursday right now, and they have fucked up huge. Yeah, no, I'll role play. Yeah, all right, yeah. Guys, your girlfriend's waiting for your Valentine's Day gift, right?

Like, don't forget to buy her a gift out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and your... Oh, it came late on Amazon. It's so fucking lame, dude. Oh, man, dude. Because, you know, all right, so have fun with your girlfriend. But if you're a lawyer, we should come up with a good excuse.

Because that's what they need today. Dude, oh my god, the FedEx driver is self-immolated. Yeah, okay. Oh my god, we've gone to war. I thought the Super Bowl was taking a bunch of edibles. And I haven't moved in four days. And I just woke up. I've been dosed.

I've been dosed by my college professor. And he's dosed me with a secret drug and he's dosing me I won't be able to progress in academia if I don't do the drugs and I'm sorry baby and I don't want to call him out this feels so bad

because this happened for those not in the know that happened to someone in our advice show Yeah and we didn't know what the fuck to do We were like that's We said You know what You gotta know when to hold them and know when to smoke them

Yeah amen And that's for you and God Jesus Christ upstairs To decide Does Slime think that we're gonna go Like one or two more minutes without talking about his new shoes what he bought some new shoes Had these last episode. I don't want to hear shit. We talk about him. No, but you missed him We could talk about your fucked up haircut we could talk about it and fucked up haircut a lot first Normal slime fit I've ever like top to bottom that I've ever seen.

You do look good. You think I look good? So my normal slime fit is the Gibby shirt. It's the Gibby shirt. When he's singing shirtless from Mike Harley and it says can I get a kiss and can you make it last forever? I think it looks better with jeans and the beanie looks nice too. You have a beanie, a graphic tee, jeans, and sneakies. Ah, a coo-doo. Yeah. Like, cool.

Up top. He read the alphabet. Yeah. I don't believe he read it. No, he did. Because Gio, who apparently is a weeb too, he's like, I got the weeb beanie on. And I'm like, you're a weeb. And he's like, I was like, what does he even say? He's like, it says cool. And I'm like, how do you know that? I don't even know that.

Gio's a huge weeb but so are all libs and all right people liberals it is a weird pendulum that swings in a tangled web we weave and everyone in the center doesn't watch anime everyone's center doesn't watch anime but your hardest right watches like some fucked up lolly shit

and your hardest left also watches some fucked up lolly shit as we found this week. They come together at the top of the Venn diagram and they watch Boku no Pico together. And they're all seeding the

uploads. Yeah, that is kind of sweet, right? It's like seed forever. Did you used to seed anything? Yeah, I seeded. Well, no, I stopped when I

got in trouble because I downloaded an episode of The Sopranos and Comcast sent a letter to my mom yeah dude remember i thought i was gonna get arrested remember when we lived together and we kept getting fucking taken down because our isp was like you're downloading illegal shit what a simpler time when the problems we had were like internet's down i gotta call get back up i told you guys i think i might have told you a long time ago i bought uh or like rented an airbnb for a bunch of smashers at a tournament and the host called me screaming at me like why are you doing illegal things at my house and none had been seating battlefield 4

on the internet at the airbnb i love how he's just a warrior through and through was he like was he like proud about it or was he like like, oh, I accidentally seeded that? Was he like, oh, I'm seeding it, bro. He was just like, oh, I was just like getting, downloading the game for like when I get home. I'm like, because surely you're not playing Battlefield 4 on the laptop, like in the build up to a Smash tournament. I love the idea of Nunn being like, what am I going to do? Not seed?

Give me a break. He's a foreign citizen. He's not worried about the consequences. He's Canadian. There are several thousand people listening who have no idea what seeding is. Seeding? Yeah. Oh, so it's when... So in a bracket, you have to... Okay, so I'll be there. I just thought

I'd try to say it in a funnier way. I don't know. But you didn't really want to do that. I don't know how funny that one can get. Go ahead. Five seconds. Go ahead. Let do that. I don't know how funny that one can get. You could have gotten there. Five seconds. Go ahead. Let him cook. It's all right.

It's all right. Let him cook. Let him cook. Yeah! Go ahead! Let him cook! He started screaming. I can't do it.

It's when I leave my seed places. That's what's good. Guys, listen. Listen to all the Zoomers here. Yeah, that's the... Who have grown up with microtransactions and micropenises. Let me help you out. What we used to do in the olden days is we used to torrent things.

And when you torrent, it's a file sharing system and it goes bit by bit. And you kind of share all the bits of it until it's a complete file. And if you seed, it means you're uploading to other people, right? There's no like central server. Everyone is sharing the uploading to each other. If no one is seeding, no one can have the file. No one can download. Is that because you can't host it anywhere because it's illegal?

No, I don't think so. It just offloads the hosting of it to the user. So it's cheaper to run the website? Yeah, because you're just hosting the tracker, which connects you to all of the people seeding. He is also right, I think. Peer-to-peer. It also would be illegal. Because if you're hosting a torrent site, tracker which connects you to all of the people seating he is also right i think it would appear it also would be illegal because if you're hosting if you're hosting a torrent site then you're

offloading the like liability i have the idea i have our million dollar idea oh so there's peer to peer correct yeah all right we need queer to queer now hold on i do do have questions. I know. So you can only send two types of files. Okay. Either gay porn, which we already have the technology, or Taylor Swift lore. How does this work? How are those equivalent? May you explain mayhaps? Well, it's what the days

and then are they tight likes want to talk about like limewire where it'll be ambiguous what you get or will it trick you yeah oh well still it'll be like every reputation tv and it'll be like gay porn definitely a hundred percent yeah i think you are i think you're misguided here i think the most painfully straight women are sharing Tyler Swift lore and Taylor Swift lore. Hold on. There's a few bisexuals in there. You know what I'm saying though? This is certainly a wheelhouse that they have

captured and they are getting points as the time goes. Well, all amazing ideas start only as good ideas. So why don't you take me from a good to an amazing idea? What would you send on the Queer2Queer network? A gay person. Queer to queer network. Yeah.

I would send a hologram of low mass sex that appears in your room and tells you when to wake up. When he's dead, it's the technology that lets him play Coachella. Yeah. But it's, it's, it's miniaturized so he can be your alarm clock and stuff.

Okay. Queer to queer. And it is like that app you can get where you talk to a doctor. We just talked to a gay person. Oh, you ask him fun questions and like, you have to be a gay person. Ooh.

What's the two queer part? Yeah. No, no. You just always talk to two gay people. Okay. But then, but then clear to,

yeah. Yeah. There's two of them. I see. It's avant-garde. I like that. Two queer people. Just two guys. Just two queer people. Much like, much like Jewish. Yeah Guard I like your people

To God just to clear people much like much like Jewish. It's bad to use it as a noun Oh, yeah, okay to use it as an adjective, so I want us to be careful. I see when we do this I don't know what an adjective is so I might fuck this up. You might fuck this up You know the English you and a journalism degree. Two quits. Fear and? Wait. I'll let you figure that one out. No, you can't. You can't do that. I was about to ask. Mute that one. Archie, mute that one. Munch on that one. Let that one sit a bit.

What did you guys do this week? I'm on my fucking train. That's what I did this week. I was so hurt. I really love it. What did Aiden do, man? He's just so hurt by something that's, it's been overblown. The media is, the media is giving you a false narrative. It's actually the media.

I mean, the media can do powerful things, lest we forget what Shake Drizzle ordered at the Mexican restaurant. Dude. And all of the women who are now privy to it. Dude. I am losing my mind every day. I open up the fucking internet and I see someone just roasting Shane Drizella. Zipper, can you bring up the image that Ludwig posted?

No, it was Shane. The image that Shane posted yesterday. The most recent image tweet. So, okay, let's back it up. First off, I feel like I said- Don't even start with you talking about me. I feel like I said this on Twitter and I feel like I'm going to stand by this. You have blown this out of proportion. You're a pussy. No, I said this. Don't even start with you talking about me. I feel like I said this on Twitter. I feel like I'm going to stand by this.

You have blown this out of proportion. You're a pussy. No, I didn't. You have made this a big stink. You did a wrong thing. It would have lived and died as a 24-hour Instagram post, but instead you've barbed a stride sand effect on this. So what you did.

Okay, yeah, this is Ludwig showing famous people at a Super Bowl party the picture of Shake, arguably the worst picture of any human being ever taken Makes people look it up It's getting passed around like his fucking stack of Zin's I've never seen the ugliest picture of this guy that's ever been taken. I'm not kidding. It doesn't look good!

A picture, you're acting like a picture of his fucking extended forehead is like a shock sight. No. You do talk about it like that. Oh, to fucking, it's, you actually see two old guys fucking and shake drizzle ordering a burger, right? But it's called Lemon Party, just check it out. Dude, no, listen, you're a fucking, you're a federal operative. Yeah. Dude, no, listen, you're a fucking, you're a federal operative. What you're saying is, sorry, yeah, I Eiffel Towered a kid on the island.

What? Thank you! This is what you're saying! I'm not saying that! Someone blew it up! That's not what you're saying. He lived and died on the island. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not, what I mean, can I- And put down, slime, investigative journalist extraordinaire, he goes and he exposed me and now I'm in trouble.

Here's what happened. That's what you're saying. Here's what happened. It's more like I jerked off in the company toilet. And I only told you about it. On bring your kid to work day. No. I would accept that.

That'd be funny because there'd just be no kids. That's good. That's the first person I saw. I just simply jerked off in the company toilet. And then you went into the all hands and you went dude You you went to school and you found his old YouTube channel You guys are both in school okay great And you found his old YouTube channel where he sings funny songs

It's embarrassing you showed everyone at school And then he or he made a billboard in town about it, you're like bro dude like what you have to tell the whole city I was trying to disembarrass him. Wait who's the billboard guy? Me? But you already did the billboard. You posted it on his Instagram! He showed everyone at school. That's fucked up he should have done that. But it's a big fucking school. Yeah it's a huge school. My Instagram post got like preschool to high school. It got like look it got like a hundred eighty thousand views. Oh that's not a lot. Let's see how many the tweet got.

No, those views are inflated and they're fucked up. Yeah, they're wrong. So you can't believe Elon numbers? You can't believe Elon numbers. You can believe the impressions. There's private and locked accounts with no followers. It's like, and it's like... This is literally from the guy who actually was found to fake views.

This is exactly what happened in the election, by the way. You guys are both sides Listen I Think you're you you don't want to admit you did something wrong. Well, you know shake told me what he was I didn't think the pictures that bad Okay Okay, well And then I was like He's clearly Yeah, he's distressed I put my hand on his shoulder I was like, yeah, well, buddy

He's Shake Drizzle Shake Drizzle is distressed And not thinking clearly That's not the problem here It's not the problem It's actually not about him It's not even a discussion point

It's about us So anyway It is similar to Goatsy But it's not a man's face Whoever's fault it was And we'll leave it up to the world To decide If you didn't exist in this world

This never would Have happened and that's so sad to think about So anyway, Jake drizzle ah it's already out there nothing we can do about it You do the rock one that polite made and Nick Yingling posted Yeah, you go he asked you play to do that He doesn't know how to use after effects I was just like He shows me I was like and doesn't know how to use After Effects I was just like how did he he showed it to me he showed it to me I was like

and he's like I asked Blight but anyway at the Super Bowl party Shake was there and he was introducing himself and then I think

it naturally came up because I said oh yeah Shake's known for having the worst picture of himself of all time naturally

you said that he did say this word for word in a natural way like water flowing In a creek natural Like just Very natural

And then And then they got to know Jake Right And they thought It was actually Pretty bad Yeah

Right Because It'd be so funny If like all the women Are like It's not that bad If you're like Just meeting them

They're just like He's like I know it's not that bad I've doubled down I've doubled down I I've doubled down. I've taken a horrible picture of a son. The one you posted? Yeah.

It's not that bad. Kids really have horrible pictures. It's pretty bad. I saw it and it was kind of cute. It's not kind of cute. I'm sorry. You can't. He looks ugly.

He just built different. He looks like an ugly little fuck. Also, you're built different. You're built like fucking Guile. It's just like a bunch of rich people being like, yeah, fucking, he's poor, dude. Are you kidding me? I look kind of weird. Do you not know Ludwig Fett?

Ludwig Fett is a generative photo. Not the cop one. Oh. The actual one. Oh, yeah, that's a bad picture. It's a really bad picture. That's fucked up. That's an old ass bad picture.

I look bad as shit. I look fucking huge. How did that happen? Because I know the one I'm talking about. The one where he's like standing. He's got the AirPods in. And he's like, he's like this kind of. Oh, I love that one.

Dude, why do you love it? Well, because you're out on like your, you look like you're going on your pregnancy walk. Because you having vulnerabilities makes us feel better. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Because you stay winning. You open the best cases. I do stay winning. I did open the best case, bro. I'm tired of it. I got the Oishi Oishi Cutter

Op. Delicious operative. Uh huh. I got a red op and it was worth $600. Yeah. That's 450 damage to the head.

Is that how much? Mm. Something like that. It's a lot of damage. A lot of damage to the head and make sure you go down. I will. OK, I want to

before we close out our shake drizzle segment of the week, give him his flowers because he beat me in cornhole. No way. Who'd you team with? You fly down, Peter?

No, it was Tina and a twall. He imagines the hole is his mouth and he's throwing burgers. Makes it way easier. Yup! It was Tina and a twall who had never played

cornhole before. Wait, the French people? Yeah. Oh. There's a lot of French people at this party. There's a lot of French people at the party. There's a lot of French people at the party.

Dude, they're... Ludwig... Sorry, Shakespeare's section not over. Ludwig's owning Shakespeare somehow. I can't remember. They're having some

conversation. They're arguing. Ludwig just halfway stops the argument, doesn't let Shakespeare say anything, and starts singing a song in French.

I don't know if it's the national anthem, which makes the entire room erupt. Because there's so many French people there. And Shakespeare can't get a word in. Because they're all yelling this song now.

And he's just like... It's like an alt. And he pulls his phone out. He goes on his phone. I had two questions about this. Because I was like, why did you start singing this song? Why does everybody know it? Third question, actually.

Why does Blau know this song? Okay, well, it's... Have you ever heard this one? Nope. It's basically... I get it. It's kind of like that song for us. It's like, yeah.

It's not the national anthem. Do you sing it at sports games and stuff? Yeah, you'd sing it at sports games. It's a song. I think it was made in the 1900s. It's not an anthem, but it's basically like the modern day anthem. It's not an anthem, but it's basically like the modern day anthem. I'm all Caroline. Bam, ba-bam, ba-bam.

I go the time I never. Yeah, it was basically that. And so all the French people erupted into singing it when it comes on. Because it'll be like a sporting event. You'll sing it. And I don't even know the words. So all I did was sing, oh, Champs-Élysées. And then they did the rest.

And then they just picked it up. Because I just kept going, Hansi, Vanessa. I love the way they pulled his phone out after he started it. Cause he was just like, cool. She doesn't can't talk anymore. Just to win an argument. Let me tell you how the Frenchies ended up there anyway. Cause we, we were supposed to do a smaller Superbowl gathering.

Okay. And then we invited, I don't know, like, like 15 people. And then everyone got a plus one. And cutie's like, yeah, Austin's bringing the street gays. I'm like, what is that? Yeah. What is that yeah what is that he finds them yeah which turns out just to be like some close friends of his that are gay yeah but they kept referring to them as the street gay and austin's like they're not street gays

street gays is a funny thing to call people they're not feral they're okay they're very nice and then uh and then there's a few other plus ones. And then Hassan calls and he's like, yo, I got like five French people who are in town who want to pull through. Is that chill? I'm like, no, that's so many. You didn't tell him that.

I did. That's so many French people. I was like, the head count is so high. It was the morning of. And he goes, yeah, by the way, could I bring my brother and five French people? It's like, it's the morning of. Yeah. You know, Cut cuties cooking away all day.

Sure. She didn't plan for six extra mouths. Yeah. So I tell him no. And I was like, maybe if some people drop out, it can work. And he's like, all right. And then within five minutes, I get a call from, from Will Neff. And he's like, dude, I'm so sick.

I can't make it, dude. I think it was on convinced can't make it, dude. It might be COVID. I think Hassan convinced Will to back out. Caroline still shows up, but Will does not show up. That's so funny. His best friend takes the fall. I think he takes the fall for him. And then you ignored me.

I did. That helped the head count, though. He's waiting for something more. Look at me in the eyes. You ignored me. You looked away again. That helped the head count though Why did you look away? He's waiting for something more Sorry, let's do this again Look at me in the eyes You ignored me I did You looked away again

You ignored me No, I looked away for dramatic You keep looking away You keep looking away One more time Do not access memories Just look at him You ignored me

I did Why? No, he can't He can't He can't He can't not look away What if I have autism? Now who's being mean?

Is that a thing? Yeah, like eye contact. It's like a thing. Unfortunately, I've had to look up every symptom of having autism because of the fucking comment section. Because of you guys in the comment section. It's like, autism. Do I have autism? Car-o-con opening. Sleeping on the floor bad for you. It's 900 good ratings.

Street Fighter EX2 OST. Nine dogs proof argument. opening. It's sleeping on the floor bad for you. It's 900 good ratings. Nine dogs proof argument. Did you see somebody post about that on the Reddit? People post about it every week actually. Apparently they take care of each other. It's real shit. I went on William Osmond's podcast and they ended up titling the episode

Nine Boys One House. I talked about the house we used to live in. And someone commented well they all took care of each other. That's true. And we did. David Chong used to get me water. Yeah. God bless Tart.

He used to provide water for the village. He was the only guy with water. He was like the back thing with the two pails. You're acting as if you had water. You didn't have water. No, this is real. I'm agreeing with you. So David Chong would be the only person there who drank the water.

He came with an air-con container on his head. Everyone else't have water. No, this is real. I'm agreeing with you. So, Deo Chav would be the only person there who drank this. He came with an airhead container on his head. Everyone else would hold their water like it was starving times. And then he's like, don't worry, guys. Hold on until the student aid checks get in. We'll make it. FAFSA will save us. Lord FAFSA. Praying to Sally Mae.

Great diversion. I forgive you. I don't care. I didn't. Wow. You know what I should have said is I'm not going. Yeah, of course. I didn't know that it was such like a headcount thing that it would be a problem that you

needed to know. And I would have said something. It was meant to be until Hassan brought a bunch of French people. Well, yeah. So I figured you weren't going to come because you were doing a walling me. So I let the French people come. Yeah. I let them in.

It's what I would have loved. We were driving back from Big Bear and I got a call from Ludwig and I answered. I'm like, hey, Lud, we're all in the car. And he's like, you coming to the party? And I'm like, yeah, I think we're coming. And he's like, okay. He hangs up. And my girlfriend's like, oh, it's sweet that he called to see if you're coming.

And I said, he wants headcount. And she was like, dude. And she was like, oh. Oh my God. Well, I needed headcount and I needed to disseminate the information correctly. So I gave everybody the info and nobody replied because I put it in the group chat and you don't reply. You know what I liked?

You said copy-paste copy-pasting this. And I liked that because it's okay to copy-paste but it feels impersonal when there's not a disclaimer. I disclaim. Anyway, so Hassan's, and he's also being a dick about it, but I didn't mention this. Okay. Because he's like I'll invite five French people. It's like you can

speak to them and like yeah you're little friends yeah it's like like a mom trying to bring a friend over for you it's like yeah you can speak with them and they're like they're really cool and he's a big youtube channel it's like i don't give a shit that's what i told i don't care it doesn't matter if he's a big youtube channel i don't know them so funny i don't know was he unironically saying that? Yeah, yeah, yeah Maybe it meant like He's fried He's interesting

I think it was that Yeah And I think he was trying to reference That I knew of him Which I did Et toi No, squeezy Squeezy

Squeezy Et toi would've loved me Et toi would've loved you Everyone would've loved you Me and that guy He also doesn't drink No way He's Muslim

You're so much better than me to that what the hell assalamu alaikum i can't get i can't get my index i'd move a rock my brother i i i liked him a lot when we did that stream yeah do you have fun on stream i did i messaged you i said i had fun i was it was me versus nine brain rrotted idiotic streamers Okay, wow Disease Jesus Christ In my mind What the fuck? Mind disease And I lost

Wait, what was the actual concept? I didn't see anything It was a 5v5 draft crew battle Me versus Atwal were the captains In Ultimate? Multiple games In multiple games Oh, okay

No note, smash it all And he was drafted first by Atwal And we bonded Wow That's fucking's fucking funny guy I didn't know the French had it like that. I don't know they could move such like French are great, bro I put a smash and been lit cuz they play Mmm, it could have been hard because the cross-country connection. Oh, oh, I thought they were in France. Yeah

He's also apparently cracked that is really good. He's like he's cracked that Mario Kart. He's very good at Mario Kart. Dude, is that game... The game is so, so popular there. It's weirdly... Ultimate and Mario Kart Deluxe are like insanely popular in France. If you queue Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and play like competitive,

every lobby is six Japanese people, five French people, and then one American... Yours truly. And then fucking me. And Bear. people, and then one American. Yours truly. And bear. Sorry, go ahead. Back in BTS, when we did the first Ultimate Summit, Glutoni, he's a French Wario player,

and they were so hyped that he was coming that we were able to sell the French broadcast rights for their channel because they wanted them so badly. So it was like this thing that was so coveted to put on their channels and stuff. It's kind of wild. In a world of like... For CS and Dota and all these games,

the other language broadcast rights are a big deal. In Smash, it never matters. And then it just doesn't. Finally and ultimate, the French community is so big and cares so much about Gluto that you can sell broadcast rights.

One of the guys who casted that was at Ludwig's house. Casting the French BTS broadcast. Dude, we would've chopped it up. Atual's also

casting Genesis. Atual, cast it in the fair! He'll be there. No! In English? Yeah, well,

in French, obviously. It'd be crazy for you. He'd do English casting. We got him to get to the English channel. Yeah, He's doing a French broadcast He'll be there No In English? Yeah Well in French Obviously It'd be crazy for you He'd do an English cast We gotta get to English Yeah You know I was happy Squeezy came

Because we were able To commiserate over How I fucking hate Atwal Okay I'm a beef with him I like that Cause Atwal does this thing Where like

After I lost to Noah J 5-0 20,000 taken from me He went Dude do you change one thing? You win. And I'm like, that's just wrong. I don't know.

Match-ups are match-ups. And so Squeezy's there, and he's like, they're talking about how they played together. And he's like, yeah, I don't like playing with you, though, because every time we play, you give me this false hope that I can beat you if I change one thing. And I was like, yes! And then, I didn't even know French people had this, but he's like, you're like the student in class who's like, oh man, I fucking failed, and then you get the test back and you crush it. I was like, French people have this?

Culturally, they have sandbaggers. This was my opportunity also to flex as much French as possible. So I was speaking mostly French. It was so much. It was so much at this party. Was he feeling himself about it? It was fucking non-stop, man. Was he wet with it? I was like, I was down to have root beer. And I'm like, come on, just say how you had root beer. So much at this party was he was he feeling himself? Beer

You would switch into French And then they would always turn to one of the American people to be like he speaks very good Did you know I didn't know he could. He speaks so good, but also sexy rasp. He does a vocal fry. At one point, I said in French, because sometimes I would just whip out the French and be like, I just said, I fuck like nobody else in French. Say it.

Je baise comme personne d'autre. And then the French would all laugh, and then everyone else would be like, what the fuck? What are you saying? I'm saying that next time I'm around a French person. But it was funny. They laughed because in French He had said I fuck like nobody Yeah

But it does translate a bit I can only believe you Here's what you do if you want to flex Je peux vous tutoyer Je peux vous tutoyer I drive a Toyota Can I speak to you informally Which is like a pretty high level thing Je peux vous dire? What is it? Like, I drive a Toyota. Can I speak to you informally? Oh.

Which is like a pretty high level thing. May I stoop down to the common language? What does your butthole look like? That's what I want to learn. Is another way to phrase that. Yeah, better. Your coot, as we say in French. Is your cooter. I don't know.

Cooter is rounded. My dick is also. Maybe it's a ship like a star. I don't know. Your cute hair is rounded. My dick is also. Maybe it's just shipped like a star. I don't know. I had an idea to make a million dollars and become more famous. Another. We've been doing a lot of million dollars. I feel like none of them have been.

I'm just saying. You don't want this. I want to hear it. You don't want this one. Because every time you bring it up, I believe you. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

Because I know. Let's get this out. Because it runs in the family. Look at me. I want to hear it. You know what. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Let's get this out. Because it runs in the family. Look at me. I want to hear it. You know what Zipper 2 came up with? What? Some bullshit.

She had a million dollar idea. Coolshoes.com. Okay, it's probably like $400,000. Her million dollar idea at the Super Bowl was buy a Super Bowl ad for $7 million. Okay. That is a multi-million dollar idea. She turns to Ludwig and says, we should get a Super Bowl ad. And Lud's like, it's $7 million.

And she's like, I know. She goes, we'll pool our money together. And I'm like, no we're not. Pool it together. God damn, she's brilliant. So what's your idea? Don't be a coy little thing. You guys don't want to hear it.

We don't want to hear it. Take it from me. I'm just saying, if you keep stacking the deck this way, it's a little boy who cried wolf. Why do we all care about the Super Bowl? Because it's a really sporting event. We're just told to do so. I like to go to the party. Wrong.

Because Taylor Swift? Because Taylor Swift was there. Fuck yeah, I got there. That's the answer. Okay. Step one. We did clap every time she came on the TV. Why is Taylor Swift there?

Because women. Because Joe Biden needs to win the election. Because she's having premarital sex with that man. Correct. Oh. Now. Which I really agree with. Yeah, because it's so weird of her.

I wish it was post. We'll get to that part of this later. We'll be married. What if we get Aiden to date a football player who makes it to the Super Bowl? Oh my. In a way, we kind of talked about this. And everyone, I don't think football players listened to Taylor Swift before the Super Bowl, but now everyone cares about Taylor.

So we get Aiden famous. Wait, sorry. Did you say no fucking football players? We start low. We start low. We pick a low team. We pick a third string lineman from the Ravens. Patrick Mons. Pick a low team. We pick a third string lineman from the Ravens. Someone with no promise and just over the pants stuff.

You've got to become a jersey chaser. Pause. You're getting this all wrong. You can't say pause, man. Yeah, it's already like a... It's not a football player that Aiden needs to get with. It's Taylor Swift. No, it's not.

Yes. I would handle that. Dude, Taylor Swift got more camera time than Travis Kelsey. And so why would that... Because that would be Aiden. Yeah, Aiden would be his slender little girlfriend. His slender man.

Okay, you know what? I see the problem here. Because you're saying... Do you think nobody else is dating a football player? We need all the football fans to watch. Famous people are dating football players. We need the football fans to listen to the art. Yes.

Do you think Aiden will be the second most popular, significant other of a football player? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. That's crazy. That's crazy. Name another. Name another now. That's crazy.

Name one, name one, name one. Name someone who isn't Taylor Swift now. That's what I fucking thought. Don't watch me, Aiden. The girl who made the jacket that went viral. Oh, you don't know her name. She just made a jacket. Elizabeth!

Elizabeth. You did not bank. I can say that. So, Aiden, I'm going to need you to go do some market research. See who is kind of jumping out at you. Yeah, find a type. Market research. Wow.

And then, you know, we're going to make something happen. This would be good for the yard. This would be good for the yard. And you need to do something. Yeah, you can do it because you're bisexual and you like fucking men and kissing. I would also, to be clear, like kissing guys. Imagine the first yard line on the field had a yard logo. And we actually should host a Super Bowl.

Tell me. Oh, my God. What do you think about me kissing men, Ludwig? I think it's gay. Really? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yard logo And we are We actually should Host a Super Bowl Tell me Oh my god What do you think About me kissing Ben Ludwig I think it's gay Really Yeah

Oh interesting Let me be clear It's interesting If I knew it would Get you guys And myself More millions of dollars I actually haven't

Cracked one M yet I would have sex With a football player A bunch for you guys You don't have to say this Wow I'm just letting you know No real shit We don't have to Sick Aiden On the population You don't have to say this. I'm just letting you know.

We don't have to sick Aiden on the population. Real shit, no podcast. Real shit, no podcast. I would do it for you guys. For no reason? No, for money and more viewers. For money and success, but we don't have the podcast. I would want the pod to get fucked up bigger. But you said we don't have the podcast. No podcast means

not capping for online people. Yeah. Would you be picky on what football player? What'd you say? Would you be picky on what football player? I'd be so picky. Wow. And I'd also like.

I'd go after Travis Kelsey. I'd also let him know like I'm not emotionally available. I wouldn't go for Kelsey. I wouldn't go for Kelsey because he gave me the ick. Dude, I would. He did give her the ick. Wait, what was the ick? Whatever.

His Viva Las Vegas. What the fuck? That's what he sounds like when he comes in her Crappies come on That's who she's doing belly to belly mish with. Stop, ew. Ew. That's fucked up. After she protected a pocket of paper rubbing her head. I'm just saying, I think that's fucked up. I got the ick.

I got the ick. I wouldn't want him to do that to me. You thought about him busting the fuck. Oh gross. Ew. Ew. That is so rancid. You're wrong.

I'm saying I'm also disgusted by that You phrase it so poorly I'm disgusted by that Is that not the stark reality of Hetero sex? Apparently it is And it wouldn't be like that if I was with somebody Let's just fucking get over it

Aiden was on this bisexual podcast With a bunch of bisexuals What the fuck are you talking about? It's just podcast I don't think I can say Podcasts with a bunch of bisexuals Actually say more D. I think it's a nda. I don't think they want to sign an NDA. Yeah, I'll be on the episode. Yeah I was surprised, but I did so I don't want to leak okay No, hey if you want to leak none NDA celebrity to my left. So he was on a bisexuals podcast with Anthony Padilla. What?

God bless his heart. Anthony Padilla. I don't know what show it was and he's not allowed to leak it. But he was with a bunch of bisexuals and they're asking probably questions or something. And up comes a question. I don't know why. About Aiden kissing me. Okay.

All right. All of the questions lead to Ludwig eventually. This was the last question of a two and a half hour shoot. To all the young bisexuals watching, trying to figure out their lives and their bodies, they want to know

what Ludwig is like in the kissing. They want to know how soft his lips are. Is Ludwig a good kisser? And so Aiden answers like an asshole, apparently. I don't know,

because I find out because I go on this same shoot. I'm on an anthony padilla shoot with legendary streamers and it's like me hasan and ray and they're asking us questions about like streaming and then and then the producers before it starts to go yeah aiden was here and he just didn't have really nice things to say about you and i was like oh is he talking shit and he's like yeah he said you're a bad kisser. Oh, that's not what I said. He did you dirt. That's not what I said. That's not done well.

I said, with this inflection, I said, he's fine. Oh, that's even worse. And then I elaborated about how if I was truthful about kissing, I might be fired because Ludwig is also HR at our company. And petty. And petty. And I went on a long-winded rant. But here's the thing.

About how him being HR is actually okay. And what I did. It's super cool. And it's chill. Is I went on my podcast and I said, Aiden and I went to an onsen together in Japan. I saw his penis and it's tiny. Damn. And I just lashed out.

There's a little war going on. I said you're petty. It's not tiny. As soon as he says my penis is tiny it's like I've won you know the truth and you know it looks like sleeve of wizard it could be somewhat like Napoleon though because he wasn't short but everyone thinks he was short

a thousand years from now they're going to be like in chapter 14 there was a guy named Aiden's tiny penis all we know all we know is his penis was so small. And there'll be cartoon parodies. And he lost an Ice Climbers match once. They can say whatever they want after I've died, because I'll be dead. And it won't matter.

Well done. You can desecrate my body if you want to. Because I'll be dead. I will. Didn't need permission. Thank you. Well, can I ask you a question? Yeah, they're Yuto Hori Gomez. Oh, your shoes. We're talking about the new one.

I wanted to ask you instead about your shoes that you keep bringing up because you found out about skateboarding three weeks ago. Does Factor have burgers? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

The thing is, they have so many meal choices, it's hard to know everything they have. Do you think if you went to a Mexican Factor place and you ordered a burger, that would be something that would be... Factore. Do you think that would be like a faux pas? And like a friend of yours did that? Do you think you would be like a faux pas? And like a friend of yours did that? Do you think you would make his life miserable? It's tough. It's tough because Factor is prepared by chefs and approved by dieticians.

It'd probably be a high-protein burger. I think when you have so many weekly options and weekly add-ons that even at the Mexican Factor place, they would not give you any flack for ordering a burger. I think it would be fine. I would hope so, but your friends will. And that's the difference. Factor doesn't judge you. It doesn't judge you. They have 35 meal choices, 55 weekly add-on options. They got smoothies,

juices, snacks, and breakfast. And the best thing about Factor is they won't take a horrible picture of you that you look absolutely like you have some sort of condition and then post it to 750,000. They can't do that. They're a business. They wouldn't do that.

If they sell a good product, why would they do that to you? Factor protects you and it protects your sanctity of mind by not doing what some people might do like Ludwig. Protect yourself with factormeals.com slash theyard50 or in use code theyard50 to get 50% off. Yeah. Well said. Code theyard50.

Yeah, do the smile. Do the smile that you like to do that% off. Yeah. Well said. Code the yard 50. Yeah, do the smile. Do the smile that you like to do that's real. Okay. That's code the yard 50 at factorymeals.com slash yard 50. Get 50% off your first box.

Why do you look like that? It's America's number one ready to eat meal kit. We don't know if they have burgers. They have a lot of options you can probably check. He won the Olympics. Thanks.

Back to the episode. You guys are going on a little podcast little circuits oh yeah i went to i went to i did the podcast i went to dallas is he by the way dallas sucks man do you like dallas dallas yeah i think dallas sucks uh well if i'm being totally honest i i was in two very lame locations in Dallas. That's what I'm saying. I think Dallas sucks. I was just like in a downtown city. That's fine.

Like, but their office is really cool. It's funny to be like the lamest part of Dallas, downtown. No, but I think like to say that I, to evaluate Dallas on the whole, like I feel like would be shitty. They also got two airports. I went to the airport. I went to the airport and then I went to like the business district

Yeah, they got Lovebo and they have DFW. DFW and God Save the King. Dope Office found out their producer that it listens to the show is a patron. Yes.

And heard your critical feedback on the patron episode. Yeah, I mean, Hitch texted me about it. But they did change it up. They changed it up? They changed it. They took the feedback

into account. That's huge. I had a great time. I had so much fun. I also, I dug up this photo that you guys will also think is funny,

I think. I found, because I really, really wanted to find this photo from my old like iPhone 3GS. And it's me at MLG An me at mlg because no one knows who hitch is um on the planet he's like involved in like the call of duty community yeah um and he

works at a company called optic not glasses or anything it's like a call of duty team uh he works like a laser like a laser type of center i know i know there's probably like three more companies with that name that are bigger. No, it's actually where our friend Hitch works. Friend's a big word to use. Yeah, I swear our acquaintance Hitch. Are you the guy

that does the hitchhiking streams? Yes, yes. Big hitchhiking streamer. But yeah, he's like a minor like guy in the co-op. So he's under 18? He's a minor guy.

He's like a smaller like he's actually small in many ways. He lost to my Mario in Melee. Okay, wow. Something true about him. I was gonna hurt him nothing worse than the cops on the setup and brings out the mario the mess dude someone i went to a tournament in colorado this weekend and someone got it was

owl owl got in this insane wreck and was totally fine but his car was like flipped over and all this shit was like two days before and i'm like it's crazy you came uh i thought this was today and he's like no i wouldn't have come if this happened today i was like i over and all this shit was like two days before. And I'm like, it's crazy you came. I thought this was today. And he's like, no, I wouldn't have come if this happened today. I was like, I once got in a car accident and then went to a tournament. And then my friend played Ness against me and then beat me while my head was pounding. Do you remember that? Of course I remember. It was the worst thing ever.

You beat a concussed slime with Ness. Well, no, Kato, this is, we already told this story a while ago. We told this story a while ago. We told this story a little earlier. But I think it's good to bring it up again. For the people who haven't heard it, Slime shows up late because of a car accident to a tournament. My car was totaled.

That I entered as Ness. And it wasn't my fault. For the whole tournament. And so when I played against him, I had a tough decision to make. Do I switch off Ness just for him? And then it's Slime. He's going to find out that I thought he couldn't handle mentally playing a secondary of mine.

Or do I just play? I change nothing for him. This is a loser. And I chose change nothing. You could have offered. You know I almost passed out at the end and out after that tournament? I can't offer. You can't offer.

Hey, do you want me to play Ness or Falco? He'd be like, what do you think? He'd be so mad if he did that. If you said, hey, I've been playing Ness this whole tournament. Are you okay with me playing Ness? That's probably the best way to do it, yeah. Yeah, you can't be like, my Falco. Also, due to the head injury, all words just appeared as hieroglyphics.

And I saw like a bird holding a vase. It's like when you're playing Final Fantasy X, you haven't unlocked all the Albed language. Yeah, and they keep saying we. That was the same tournament. The exact same tournament that I found out that a player named Epic, who used to go to our events, would carry around a used...

So by used, I mean like a... So like a Dayquil piece of plastic that holds the Dayquil pill. He took the pills out. He's used it before. He would carry around the plastic to clean his controller after every set. Oh, wow. And go through every crease. No one does that.

I was just like, that's crazy. It is crazy but that grime gets really weird. I do have so much crud and it's weird that it comes from my hands. You're always like, what is this crud? I now got crud on my desk. It's dead skin. They should have a Genesis crud eating competition. And then

it all gets swept up into like a bowl. Oh, this is the picture. I had to dig into my Twitter archive. It's on my... Is this your bum? Why are you wearing a tie? Dude, this is me. Did you wear a suit to class?

Dude, I met future business leaders of America nationals in Anaheim. Are you Jewish? And at the same weekend as MLG. That's Nadeshot. And that's Nadeshot. No way. Toade shot. And that's a nade shot. No way. To my left. And I wanted to show you guys. Getting absolutely mobbed by Aiden. It's like Big Timer, Diesel,

Hex, Nade, Scumpy, and Merc. And so I took this photo with them in the hotel lobby at this tournament. Because famously you ditched the Business Leaders of America event. I ditched it. To go to MLG. To go to MLG. Beast. And I asked Hex for an internship. God, you could have been so business now. To go to MLG. And I asked Hex for an internship. God, you could have been so business now.

Aiden Calvin's day off. You asked Hex for an internship? Yeah, I did. What did he say? He's very nice. He said, yeah, come work for us this summer. Didn't end up working out, but that's fine. Nate shot next to me.

Nate shot next to me. You two are being mean to him on the timeline. You're being cruel to Nate. What did you say to him? That's what I said. That's what you were saying at the same time. What a photographic proof that Nate's been my boy since day one. Your tweet reads as so mean because his tweet came first.

Yeah. It looks like the yard is coming to attack Nade. No! Also, your tweet was 20 times funnier because I knew you were drunk. On my replies. I was hammered. Yeah, that makes it extremely funny. So I'm thinking about Ludwig, you know, sitting like this on his couch at home. Times funnier you were drunk on my reply hammer yours So I'm thinking about Ludwig, you know sitting like this on his couch at home. Just just wasted

Genuinely wondering when a shots opinions of the political landscape of the US is yeah, what's he mad about? He's fucking rich as shit He's got a kid. He plays golf on the weekend. I read your tweet and I was like, damn, we can go crazy. And then I realized that you were being genuine. I'm like, oh, it looks so bad. It looks so genuine. It's like three minutes after mine. Read Nate's tweet first. He can't because he's not logged in.

But Nate was talking about how he didn't like how Joe Biden did like a fucking dark Brandon post. You know what? I think that's fine. I think it's fine, too. I think that's fine.

But I think to look at it and then go, this is the reason we need it now. Nameshot said, he pulled it up. Arch, you can put it on the screen when you're editing. He said, this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen on Twitter, and it's not even close. Get him out. And I'm like, I saw that, and I'm like, I've seen a guy blowing a dolphin. Yeah. Yeah.

And the dolphin cum is in his mouth. That was a weird thing to say because I've definitely seen people like be shot in cold blood. Murdered. Murdered, yeah. And then someone replied to that because he got like,

there was a big tweet and then someone's like, El Nade shot for being a Trumper. And he's like, this has nothing to do with Trump. The US is falling apart. Yeah. It's like when you start paying tax and see that this being a Trumper. And he's like, this has nothing to do with Trump. The U.S. is falling apart. Yeah, it's like when you start paying tax and see that this is a guy running the country, it drives me nuts.

And it's just this like, it's like, fine. This is like, this is a reasonable thing to think. But you're also like, this is Nadeshot, who it's like, I don't think, it's just funny. At the end of the day, it's just really funny. And so I replied, do you think? This is what I replied to it too, I think. So yeah, yeah yeah we replied at the same time one week because we were double teaming i was so drunk one of the replies what do

you think are the main problems the u.s is facing right now just hammered the juxtaposition is what made it look really bad i'm so hammered and then my reply my right beneath them is do you think every 100 thieves employee under tremendous anxiety about being laid off every day thinks the same way when you spend seven hours of a workday attempting a golf trick shot? You didn't see me? I didn't see this. Me and the rest of the green wall won't stand for this. I, we can't. You did too much for Call of Duty.

I think Nate's a nice guy. You're so lame. Nate's a nice guy. Nate's a nice guy. And if he doesn't like Joe Biden, that's fine. It's so funny because literally like a day before this happened, Aiden came to me and he's like, I need you to come up with ideas for like yard shirts.

And I'm like, hey, I got some ideas. Well, we're not going to be able to do the idea now. I know. He's like, what are the ideas? And I'm like, all right. So it's a shirt. It's got Nate Schott's face on it. And it's melting.

Okay. And then it says, this next juvie might kill me. I was like, do you think we can get away with making it? Adrian. Let me do something really quick. I know you're listening from Juvie HQ. If he's such a political guy, I'll just say, from Nadeshot, Israel. Okay, nothing.

No, that's crazy. From Nadeshot, Palestine. No. Oh, he had nothing to say. That's kind of interesting. Come on! I just think that's kind of weird. Because it's like, if you're such a political guy, and that's the weirdest thing you've ever seen in a while.

And a guy with fucking red... And a cringe post, by the way. Extremely cringe for the president's fucking red eyes. We're not going to be able to do the shirt. We're not going to be able to do the shirt now because of this. But he's a political guy. So let me see. Yeah, no, just nothing really there. Adrian, I come from a genuine angle. Get us through. I just want to

know. You did want to know. Because we're paying the least taxes in so many generations in America. Yeah, but we still can't write off meals, and Trump changed that in 2018. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act made it so you cannot write off meals as a business expense. That rotten bitch. He fucked us.

You thought he was on our side. If I get seven McDoubles, and I'm with Aiden, I want to write it off. So you can only write it off if it's a company meal that more than 50% of the company is present for. Wow. This is true. I looked this up. I bought a lot of Chick-fil than 50% of the company is present for. Wow. This is true. I looked this up. I bought a lot of Chick-fil-A with Ludwig's car. So I have to bring a company in McDonald's.

Folks, I have a million dollars. I have to start a McDonald's company. Hold on. Folks, we buy one million Double-Double. And we resell them. We resell them. And they're cool. And we double the price.

We double the price. And we call it the Double-Double-Double. And then we write it all off. It costs us zero dollars. We write it off so we save all the money. And then we make double the price. We double the price. And we call it the double, double, double. And then we write it all off. It's triple double. It costs us zero dollars. We write it off so we save all the money. And then we make double the money. And we double the money because we saved all the money. So we also didn't pay tax on it.

I think, you know what? I think Nadeshot can not like things even though he. No, he can't. He pays taxes. I didn't reply to the first post. I didn't give a shit about him being mad about Dark Brandon or whatever. That post was what, like that's. But the second post where he's like,

America's so fucked. I was like, what's good? What's bad? What's wrong? We've got some problems. There are a lot of problems, but is he facing them?

And what are the problems he's facing that he's so concerned about? I think you can observe the problem without facing it. Like I know, like I know Trank is, is a problem in Philadelphia, but I'm not doing Read like he was concerned about social problems or like large-scale issues facing Americans Yeah, it read like I know his life is worse with Joe Biden in the house I know I made about taxes specifically and I was like, I don't think that's resolved. Well Nate shot

I know you can buy it. How did he bounce back? all right? So he drops the the hundred thieves conscious cipher It's made shot Vinnie pass Jack Harlow and they shot comes out and he's like Joe Joe Biden, why then? Poseidon. And we film it. Poseidon. We film it in Malta.

So it's tax free. God bless. And we always got Malta shoots going. I got Henny, I got Shanks, I got Cookie. Yeah, I do. I've watched that video so many times. Do you know what happened? Oh my God. We go to Colorado for a tournament.

Josh got fourth. He lost to Sheik. It was hard, but listen. He did lose to Sheik. It was so funny. He lost to what Sheik? Crudo. Spark and Crudo.

Good Sheiks. He sees snow for the first time in his life, and it's beautiful. It was in Boulder. Did he play in it? He played in it. We threw snowballs. Cute. And he's watching it come down outside of the the car and in an attempt to overwrite the save

of this memory i played suki because he hates the song yeah so i played it full blast and put it up to his ear so now every time he thinks about the first time he saw snow he's thinking uh no bikini bottoms be like pop pop dude Why'd you do that? Can we get Eric reparate on the podcast? I don't think we should When the song starts and you're like what's he saying? He said what?

Man This is like when I went to that park in Iceland And it was just me and Dr. Noodle Slam And I put on Changy It's just like that. You're an evil friend. I'm not evil. He's having a great time.

I grew up in that state. Your first thought was, I want to ruin your core memories. I didn't. That's what you thought. You're like, you're too happy right now. I need to ruin this for you. He just should like the song.

He'll remember it more. He should feel how I feel. Maybe he'll flip it and he'll like both the song and the memory. Maybe he'll associate it. He hasn't yet. song and the memory. Maybe he'll associate it. He hasn't yet. Okay, so maybe you are evil. I played it for Goody when I picked up Goody.

Goody thought it was funny, but he didn't really get it because he's a child. Maybe you're evil. How fun. So yeah, the Hip Hop Conscious Cipher, the 100T Conscious Cipher, will save Nadeshot from his struggles, his perils. Also, if 100 Thieves is an S corporation, I don't want to hear shit about taxes. And you can find that out.

I don't know. I know. Maybe he's mad because he sold Juvie and he had to pay a big check. He did? He sold it? Yeah, what do you mean? Wait, I thought he still worked.

I don't know shit about shit. I thought he still worked at both and they were just separated or something. No, no, no. he sold it to a beer company Really anheuser-butch Juvie sold nade shot rule 34 Brian Family Guy penis You're funny guy middle of the super bowl party yesterday middle of the super bowl party i'm sitting i'm sitting right below the tv at the front of the

coffee table on the floor next to nick youngley and ludwig is to my right and he's doing the thing where he pat he put he passes the phone over and he's tapping my leg with it. And I pull it up. It's fucking, it's Brian Griffin with a giant red cock. Just like a real dog. Like a real dog has a red boner peeped through his fur. And I'm like, this is disgusting.

We're in a room of 20 people. I'm trying to enjoy the Super Bowl. I have a defense. And I have to look at Brian's red erect penis. I have a defense. On your phone. We'll have to get to it. He just showed it.

I want to see it. You guys all missed it. He just showed it. Show it again. That was just for me and Zipper. I want to see it. I don't want to see it. I looked up Brian family guy cock.

And then I picked an image that was him looking really buff and I wanted to show you that one but when you picked it up you swiped wow so I brought my it's my fault yeah it's my fault I did the same thing to Zahn and then he started swiping through them to see

so this on dvnr it looks like I'm reading the caption what I give to have brian be overwhelmingly in heat so badly that he resorts to just letting himself become gay even though he'll overwhelmingly deny it even as he knows my fat ass it'd be an awesome rp even though he knows my fat ass yeah and then the squiggle uh tilde um so so you did that what was i gonna say in relation to you i forgot you love oh it's like uh it's like what i the mr crabs tomato yeah it's like that but you hated that and you've come around well you posted that seven years later you posted that i sent it to you on facebook oh yeah that's what you do messenger

yeah you would send it as you'd be like you'd be like, oh, I don't want to see Mr. Krabs' butthole, but it's a tomato. I like doing it with my phone, because I never told him to pick up my phone. And that's my property. It's true. All I did is I put my phone next to him and tap it, and then look him in the eyes. Tap it, look him in the eyes. What he picked up and saw isn't my fault.

It's pretty much all my fault, if you think about it. I'm glad that you've come around. But while you were gone, me if you think about it. I'm glad that you've come around While you got we were gone me and stands almost fought I heard about this in the court means stands almost went to blows what happened finally by the white ass They want ass as they call my basketball. All right smaller group cuz a lot of people are out So we're doing Singaporean force the classic, right? It's just for it's for before and Singaporean fours, the classic. It's just fours.

It's 4v4 and there's no twos. It's only ones. Singaporean fours. We play it real. Just 4v4, but they play it other places. When you hit a three-point shot, it doesn't count for more points. Yeah, it's a one.

We play that. That's eight, bro. That's Singaporean fours, bro. Why is it Singapore? I don't know, because I met a guy from Singapore and he says this is how everybody in Singapore plays. And I trust him with my life. You should sing a pourion DeLorean Why cuz it wouldn't make sense Nick from the yard has joined 100 You see it across your arms.

It's me and Vinny Paz. I was wearing Pokemon sweaters. That would be so cool. Please, Nate. I haven't made fun of you. We went to Blows because we're playing basketball and Sans apparently heard the primo and he's like, heard you talking shit. So he's already coming in aggressive. And if you don't know how Sans plays basketball,

because he's all wide ass, he's the biggest guy on the court. Huge ass and it's wide. He shoves his body weight around. He does a little pushy pushy and we were on opposite teams so he he goes to guard me because i'm the biggest guy on my team damn near 200 pounds and he starts going shovy shovy bull extra shovy shovy no he's just fucking boom boom really he's a little physical he's getting a little physical i think all within the rules like all all legal, but like, you know, Draymond Green-esque. You get that.

He's throwing bows. I know what you're saying. You should have said run our test because I know that. Well, then I went run our test back because I started to see red. I started to see red. And so on a couple, I started, I fucking went and I went at him. And then, and then he immediately throws the ball to Yingo, who's on my team. And he goes, shoot it.

And then Yingo does. And then he goes like, what it was that because he's on the other team yeah and then uh and then that happened two times and then i was like i was like i have to dial it down we will we will go to bows this will this will get heated and then we calm down dude you would rip stance his head off he's boxed yeah i think you do well i think that just means he wouldn't get tired very fast he's boxed and he's all white ass he well. I think that just means he wouldn't get tired very fast He's boxed and he's all white ass. He's I think you rip his head big guy and he's got reach big guy, bro Yeah, he's got reach. You think he would sock you in the face? I think he he would fucking punch me for sure I don't think I could hit you in the face. I

Don't think I could you pretty it's just so pretty I don't want to ruin it. Actually I could yeah Okay, that was really quick Actually I'd end you Yeah okay And I will Sure I'd turn your face Into a painting

It changed so fast You're not This is how you make me feel Don't you get it? Every time There's cute aggression It's like so much like Rage and love

And it's just like A DNA strand Yeah this is cute aggression Actually It's not cute I'm not It's not cute I'll kill you

This is what I'll kill you This is cute This is Zipper 3 Does this sometimes Zipper 3 wants to kill you. This is what I'll kill you. This is what Zipper 3 does sometimes. Zipper 3 wants to kill you until we talk about it. You make him laugh but also make him cry. Oh. Me and Aiden's girlfriend, the only

interactions we ever have over messaging is making fun of Aiden. It's very sweet. That's true. Like what? He wore a it was like a bright green sweatpants and hoodie combo and i took a picture and sent it to her i was like bro looks like saltwater taffy dude she said something so funny to me i was we just went on a snowboarding trip and uh i'm i'm

wearing snowboarding pants and i'm coming down the hall and she's coming down the other side of the hall where she can't see me i think we're coming to a corner and I round the corner and she goes you sound like Aiden's coming She's basically saying that Aiden always wears clothes Of snowboarding gear and it sounds the same as his and it sounds the same as his normal voice. I love hates that I like. And they're loud?

Dude, it was. And you're like Spongebob just making noise everywhere you walk. Dude, I was like, I watched the entire

Spongebob movie with Prezzo. Really? What? Like on a stream. Yeah, don't say it like that. You parasocial piece of shit. Why?

We were friends. You are friends. It actually is the same. Prezzo, the only thing he would add is he would just be like Spongebob and he was like Spongebob would be like, uh, here's my, here's my bag of wins, Patrick. And then he'd be like, dude, what if he pulled out his cock there? And he said that for everything. He just, he can't stop winning.

David Hasselhoff, he'd be like, dude, what if David Hasselhoff like took his cock out and jerked off out that's genuinely the biggest regret about not going to the streamer awards this weekend is I won't get to see Prezzo

and I won't get to see Liam yeah you won't I will I'll take a picture of Liam oh that'll hurt me

we gotta go we gotta go fight battles in San Jose we do oh my god I almost had this insane comeback.

I played in the tournament. It was cool. How'd you do? I went three and two. It was hard. You had a pretty good bracket. I saw you had a loser run. Yeah, I had a low run.

Dude, I was cheering for, because Gio went. Gio Rossi went. I didn't even know. I saw him in the fucking hallway at the venue and I'm like, my son,

he's come back from war. I thought he was dead. And Gio went on a run too he's playing against this fox player named Ultra who's from Colorado apparently really sick I play that guy on ranked all the time and he's a yeah he's a rank demon just like another fox bot and but not pejoratively I think he's pretty good but I'm it's Gio versus Ultra and it's a Colorado tournament so everyone's fucking the whole venue is watching because it's like to get in the top eight or something.

Or it is top eight, I forget. And I'm like the only person there for Gio. And Gio like watched me three-oh them. But the first game, like Gio takes the first stock. I'm like, let's go, Gio. And thousands of eyes just turned to me immediately to see who the fuck just said that. And then I kind of like slinked.

I put up my hands as a joke. And then I like slinked down. And the rest of the set, I was just like silently like. Is Ultra a box player? No. I don't think so. I'm impressed. Gio got a seventh, I think.

He lost to Josh. He got fifth. He got fifth. Fifth. Oh, fifth. Yeah. Yeah, well, I have to beat to make it out winners to Genesis

Josh still they didn't change it no they didn't change it oh oh my god I didn't I didn't put a request

in to change it you know because I really like my surrounding bracket okay so I'm willing to lose in winners to get to play

everyone else I get to play because I looked at my bracket and I like went through it I didn't know anyone in my bracket I'm like looking up these winners to get to play everyone else I get to play. I looked at my bracket and I went through it. I didn't know anyone in my bracket. I'm looking up these players. Every single one of them is a Falco. Okay. It's Puff.

It's Puff Genesis. Oh, you're doing Puff Genesis? I get to go full Puff. This is all Falco. Oh my god. I'm like, I'm not changing shit. I'll just lose to Josh. It's fine.

Then I'll go down. And then you're just slave. Just take scalps left and right. Go play Puff. Rest the bracket. I think I have an easy way out. I have an easy way out. I play this guy who didn't even get ranked last year, Leffen, to make it out.

Oh, good. Yeah. I heard he a bitch. Yeah. He a bitch who complains. He doesn't even play the game. That's true. I hear he a Tekken player.

I'm thinking it's a wrap. Yeah, that should be light work. Ryan Reynolds is trapped, and we are not letting him go. And it's costing us a lot, it's to keep him there. That's why he doesn't have an ownership stake in MinnMobil anymore. MinnMobil offers you premium wireless for just $15 a month. Uh, it gives you the best rate whether you're buying for one or your family or- But the thing is, he's still in the commercials because we make him.

Yeah, the thing- We force him. We're working Ryan to the bone as a caged actor. Because if we don't have him, we don't know what to say for the ad reads. So we keep him doing the commercials. We would be so lost without using him like this. Also, it's the 15th. It's the day after Valentine's Day.

If you forgot a gift, you could get a plan at Mint Mobile with unlimited talk and text. So you could talk and text to your significant other forever. Wow. Yeah. Trust me, guys.

If you forget your significant other's Valentine's gift and get them a Mint Mobile plan, that will go well. It'll go well. Maybe your SO wants to go to Disneyland one time in her entire life. At all. She doesn't want to go that bad, though. She probably doesn't want to go that bad. She wants you to take her there once.

You could text her on Mint Mobile and be like, babe, get in. If we're going, I need to start saving shekels. And that's why we use mintmobile.com slash the art. Go to mintmobile.com slash the art. Cut your wireless bill to 50 bucks a month. Which is really cheap, to be honest. It's actually pretty cheap. Honestly, Ryan Reynolds is, we are able to keep him in feeding gruel by using Mint Mobile

and saving the money. And we can feed him as much gruel as he can eat. He hates it, but it's not how he likes for 15 a month plus one penny you can feed ryan reynolds in our dungeon anyway back to the episode thanks mint mobile we were talking about how aiden being left in a genesis would be the funniest possible thing that could happen in the entire event yeah yeah it would just dominate anything thing that could happen in the entire event. Yeah. It would just dominate anything else that could happen there. When Hungrybox 21 popped off and then his dick fell out and it was bigger than Drake's. Yes.

Only if he did that because a bunch of marbles were on the stage. And he tripped on the marbles and his giant Drake dick flopped off. Believe it or not, we already talked about this. And I was saying that would be the coolest shit ever. If Hungrybox dick leak, and it's bigger than Drake's. We did talk about it. I forgot. I literally said, and then we couldn't tell him nothing.

We couldn't. We couldn't tell him nothing. That would be awesome. I want that so bad. You need to be quiet. I think it's AI still. Drake's dick? Yes.

Eh, put me up. That's crazy. Who knows? Take me away. Cuff him. Cuff him, sir. Oh my god, they're outside. Right here, officer.

Yeah, take me for my, using my liberties. I'll see you in the paddy wagon with Nate shot. Yeah, Aiden got a great bracket. I haven't even looked at mine. I haven't even looked at mine. I haven't even looked at mine. I'm not even going to look because I don't care even a little bit. I'm just going to do it.

You're going, right, for one day? I'm going for Sunday, but kind of, but not really, but kind of. Isn't the Stream Awards on Sunday? Saturday. Oh, okay. So he gets to go to top eight. That's cool. But what's kind of?

I can't say. Uh-oh. Now you're a friend DA? I have a shoot. Actually, a friend DA means you'll tell us. I can tell you off the pot. I just can't tell you now. I can't wait to hear your secrets off camera.

I'll tell you all my secrets. Wow. I like it when you do it Guys I don't know if I can do the marathon Do you have okay hold on haven't been running you're a pussy we have to split him up not what are you guys? We're sorry. Sorry the fuck. He's coming to us. You're a pussy. have to lift him up not what are you guys we're his friends sorry the fuck he's coming to us you're a pussy i need to reevaluate i'm sorry i think you can run a marathon i think you could actually do really really well i think the time constraint you're putting yourself on is really tough that's what i was maybe you just pick a marathon in april or may instead i've been running you have i just don't talk about it thank god i mean you're a pussy i mean wait have you been have you been running like the past few weeks i've been running You have? I just don't talk about it. Thank God. I mean, you're a pussy. I mean, nice.

Wait, have you been running like the past few weeks? I've been running, yeah. Few weeks? I know you can do it. Oh, then you can probably do it. But the runs aren't going well. Oh. You just have to finish.

I started to get shin splints, like shake drizzle. Oh, no. The kickflip set my body back a while. Is it your form? I think, I mean, I don't have the best form, but I was running fine before. I think the kickflip set my body back a lot. Is it your form? I think, I mean, I don't have the best form, but I was running fine before. I think the kickflip set my body back a lot. I think it's impact, bro. Like you just can't start running for a marathon

and then do it in a year. The four hours, you can. The four hours of impact of kickflipping hurt. And then I think basketball's also hurting. What if, okay, you're rich. What if we give you like a Fox McCloud kind of situation? Bionic legs. We cut your legs off, replace them with metal bionic legs.

Does it count? Yeah, it counts. I count that shit. No, it doesn't count. No, it counts. I wouldn't let him have it. Okay, if a YouTuber says I ran a marathon and then we find out that how they did it was they cut their legs off and made the metal and then ran the marathon.

I'm not going to be like, it doesn't count. I will say it doesn't count. I'd be like, that's pretty cool. Well, everybody loved Oscar Pistorius. I don't know. The Fox player who beat Leffen? No, that's the dude who walked the abyss in Dark Souls. No, he was the guy with like, he had the fucking, he had amputated legs and he was like a really

good runner who succeeded in the Paralympics. And then, did he run in the actual Olympics in the end? But then he killed his wife. Oh yeah. He shot her. Did he do it with a leg? He shot her. And then did he run in the actual Olympics in the end? But then he killed his wife. Oh, yeah. He shot her. Did he do it with a leg? He shot her. Did he spin and do a wall?

She made a really dumb skip leg day joke. Did he do a triple axel and just her head came off? He shot her through a wall. Yeah, and now he's a president. Sorry, this is tragic. We shouldn't make jokes. Oh, this is a while ago. Maybe 10 years ago?

Oh, we're past this. He shot her through a wall? What do you mean? He was in the bathroom and then shot through the wall and then claimed that he thought it was an intruder. And then just... Maybe she was intruding on fucking boys night. Yeah, or his shit.

So you could do... Right. This is probably her fault. You could do the first part of the Oscar Pistorius thing and maybe just... Let me just fucking... Ah! What was he plus? Jeez.

Oh, God. Who is known as Blade Runner. That's... Dude, you can't call him Blade Runner. That's what they call them. That's just crazy. Oh, dude. Oh, shit.

Get me out of here. Wow. So... People murder people. I'm saying don't do that part. Right. But do the first part where I get the blades and then they call me blade runner. Yeah.

You can't get shin splints if you don't have shins. It's actually so fucking smart. I was a smart shit. You said all that in a very Ludwigian fashion. You could cheat and you could run the marathon. I don't do that. I don't do that anymore. You did it like a month ago.

Wow, that was a month ago. Remember the guy that you talked to at Starbucks or whatever and you were like, I actually cheated during that Pokemon run? The video's coming out and he was upset. And then he was sad. You remember telling us? Yeah. Did you ever talk to him again? No.

That person ever find you? I don't know how it knows him. Maybe go back. I don't know. No. Okay. Oh, just go back to the spot. I just think about that person and I'm like, what?

Are they okay? Well, he stopped watching Ludwig that day. Dude. That was the final day. Wow. Look, man, this is your turnover. All right? And I'll turn out a new one.

You'll turn out a new viewer. Ludwig Ogren, a professional cheater. You'll pluck him off the street and turn him right out. You're lying. Have you heard that big Sean lyric where he says says and I never cheated all right, maybe once twice you Girlfriend he's off of it. It's I Did my pivot during the Valorant event okay where I switched from cheating to not cheating and not cheating

I won you're just gonna cheat again once you're always a half of it That's the whole thing one third even one you only did hand stuff I'm just gonna you know what I'm gonna run the marathon fuck you guys. I think you can do it I think you can do the thing I think you do great It's like telling people you have a job interview. You don't tell them you have a job. Yeah, you tell them you got a job Here's it's like shut up. Here's me thought. And listen to that thought. Me genuine thought.

Here's me thought. Is that I don't think you should rush something like this if you're not feeling like 100% for it. Because there will just be another marathon that you can do. And if you fuck up your knee or your legs. You just think you should. Me, you're wrong. I think you should just do it

Just do it? Injuries are I can build a company on that I think injuries are just Very consequential Injuries slow you down more Not me Okay

Some of us You're not fucking You're not fighting for an NBA championship You're being one of the guys Who does the marathon Do it when you feel good I disagree I disagree

You don't need to step up in the moment it's your you're you're running that you're gonna run a four and a half hour can i ask you a question aiden then when is your moment because you're never gonna be in the nba you're never gonna be in a championship yeah so when when is your moment where you push through something the moment is when you do the marathon and you feel good no no because you're saying let's delay and let's do it when we feel good and maybe later we'll figure it out. Yes, because the urgency of the situation isn't there.

But why? Why is there no urgency? When do you get urgency? Because if you keep doing it, you'll injure yourself even more. Why not? Why not push? I don't care that you are empty and you want to hurt yourself. I don't care, but I'm just telling you it's dumb.

If you are injured and you continue to use the Injured apparatus you will you will hurt it for longer But I think the Super Bowl would you do it if it was the Super Bowl would you push through fucking yeah, maybe? You can just do it like in a month after yeah What if we did the Super Bowl. I can do anything a month after, man. Travis Kelsey doesn't get to be like, what if we did Super Bowl tomorrow? He doesn't get to say that. There's a clear difference and you're being

intentionally obtuse and you're empty and you're driving There's never a moment in our lives where it will be the Super Bowl. That's not true.

I don't think that's true. It is true. Not me, because my moment of greatness is coming. What is it going to be? I've peaked. I mean, like,

Genesis is a Super Bowl kind of okay but we're kind of extending the sure a bit here what the fuck what are you sure you're saying

an annual competitive event you're saying that this is a mental Super Bowl for you which means that anything is a Super Bowl which means none of this matters I can even give an example

I hurt I hurt we went snowboarding skiing this weekend I hurt myself I hurt my thumb went snowboarding skiing this weekend. I hurt myself. I hurt my thumb because I landed on it trying to do a 180 on my skis. You're bad at skiing, but yeah. All right.

That was fucked up. He's lashing out. I'm lashing out because Zipper 2 also said Aiden said you're a bad skier. Really? No, I said that. Zipper 7 said it then. What? I was at a... You said I'm a bad skier? No, no said that Zipper is seven said it then that

I was like a was talking shit on your skiing. Oh, can you ski funny? Oh, you still were talking? Yeah, I told them that about how you down it Oh, he says that you ski like you're at the bow of a ship and you like how the wind feels. Yeah Do you push Mongo? I wish you'd keep my name out of DiCaprio fucking likes he likes his jacket the flat Yeah, you do It's all moody I think you can run the marathon. I think you should do it now.

And I think fuck the haters. That's what I think. I like what he's saying. I think you should wait till you feel better, keep in shape, keep healthy, and do it when you won't hurt yourself.

What if I never feel better? That's what I think. So you're saying your bones will never heal themselves. I think a marathon just inherently will hurt you and you'll fuck your body up. If that's what you think,

then run it. I agree. I don't think that's the case. But starting the marathon injured would be a bad idea. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes and you're close to your prime physique. That's actually not true. It doesn't become harder.

You just train consistently and you just do it when you do it. I just want you to be healthy. I just want you to be good. If you want to push through and do it, it just sounds like you're impatient and that's cringe. It's not impatient. He wants to move on to the next goal. That's true, actually.

Maybe I'm impatient. And that's cringe. But also, it's just so convenient. And what is the next goal? The bullshit doesn't matter. Run two marathons. I think the next goal is my biggest goal. What?

Retire your mom? Retire the podcast. I'd like to see you fucking try. Don't run marathon anymore. Zipper says no. Zipper down vote. What is the next goal? I don't know, man.

After marathon. I have to do this one. I don't think about future ones. I know. That's why he wants to finish it so he can think about the next one. Because you're bored of this goal because it's taking too long. It's not taking too long. You're just like, I can see the matrix code, man.

There's no code. Zeros and ones. There's no code. There's no code. and ones. There's no code There's no code matrix runs off of gas after your birthday after we talked on your birthday. I understood you Completely, I don't even remember. I know You're gonna say that I threw up that night I know and your mom was and you got you got rid of your past self when you threw up Oh, I'll talk some rejected the toxins of my past self. Off the balcony of that restaurant.

Off the balcony. Did I throw off the balcony? No. Oh my God, that'd be crazy. You don't remember? No. You were drunk, yeah. He didn't.

No, I threw up in the animal. I can't remember now. When was your birthday? What happened? I can't remember. You were gone. Bad. Yeah.

I don't know why. Maybe you just never got the invite. That's probably what it was. August 2nd. Nice, Aiden. August 2nd. Nice. Aiden? March 21st. Is that how it went?

Mine's easy. April 30th. Yes, sir. Nice. He's still on it. And Dubbin Anders? I always remember because it's 765. Oh, that's a good way.

I had to do his birthday for that. That's good. That's crazy. It's my birthday. And we're going to celebrate this year in Australia. In Australia? Oh yeah, you're still trying

to get me to go to Australia? Trying to convince him to go. Because Phantom's that weekend. Pop him to Phantom. Trying to get him to go. I'll go to Phantom if I get paid, but Papa don't play no ball.

Dude. For less than a rack. I'll pay you. Dude. I'll pay you a rack to go. What do you say? Papa's playing. We at the party,

when it broke to halftime yesterday, we decided to play Rage Cage, which I appreciated that you gathered with Yingling because it's a fun game. It's a good game for people who drink and for a large group of people who want to play a drinking game at the same time. I'm just remembering. I think it was Tina is her name, right? She wanted Foouseli to play she's like she starts yelling at her

she's like what if I don't know what to do or where to throw the ball or I don't know what to do and Fuseli's trying to explain to her you're gonna be okay you just gotta throw the ball

when it comes to you Tina was put in the cage the game before so she's a little shy oh yeah the cage will change she's like a kid stuck in a grocery store Tina well yeah because Tina when she would play Tina was put in the cage the game before Grocery store Tina well yeah cuz with Tina when she would play she would drink so slow She would hit the ball and really easily, but she drink beer so slow

And then I was like why are you drinking so slow cuz she would like go like this. She'd like sip it So by the time you can't do that because you're just gonna get another cut and then she's like I don't know drinking it It goes down like like weed. I was like You can't do that Cause you're just gonna Get another cup Yeah and then she's like I don't know Drinking it It goes down like Like weed I was like What is that What is that Wait she's cooking a little bit

Is this Tina Kitten Yeah Oh okay okay Tina Kitten Yeah So you're playing Rage Cage Dude we're When we're playing

The ball makes it to Hassan Who I admittedly Oh my god I kind of assume That of the people Who are there Cause there's

a lot of people who haven't played before and clearly didn't play in like college or anything. That's fine. There's all the Frenchies. We're showing them the game. I assume Hassan, you know, the maybe a little more fratty of a dude in some ways, would be capable of playing a ball pong related game. He went to Rutgers or some shit.

Hassan misses single ball bounce in the cup. I'm not kidding. Maybe 35 times. It was embarrassing. Insane. It was hard to watch. It was, it was cause it,

it was really funny. They put him in the newspaper. But once he misses for the 20th time, you're like, come on buddy. Windows movie maker, uh, newspaper.

Local pussy misses a lot. Please don't tell him I said that. I was shocked by his lack of athleticism. Intuition, know-how. Maybe that's what the whole idea is, is that at the end of the day, he's just mid. Balls to bones. Wow.

But he's just in the body of a god. Body of a god. God, body. Body of a god. I love it. Cutie brought out cookies at this party, and I grab one, and I break it in half, because I don't want full cookie. I want half cookie, I'll leave cookie for someone else.

I break half. Hassan looks at me, and he just looks at me like I've spoken to him in a language he doesn't know, and I'm like, do you want the other half? And he's like, I've never seen anyone only eat half a cookie. Why does he baffle that to be fair to be fair these cookies are like yay no a little bigger than that there's nothing wrong with a young jit watching his figure yeah and i said that i said i'm a young jit watching my figure and hasan goes i mean respect and i said you could have half and he

goes i'll eat that half and another cookie. And I'm like, you don't need to do that. Hasan hungry. He was doing that. You could break cookie half? And then for the rest of the night, whenever I'd grab food, he'd look at me like, you gotta break that in half? And I'm like, this is not a bit we have to do.

So normies, and I consider Hasan a normie, they do this thing where they find out what a bit actually is and they latch on to what they estimate is that, right? But what really is happening is just something normal happened that they're assigning specialty to and it's exhausting. It's exhausting. I can't explain how nice it is to be around banter that is A1. And that includes you. I can't explain how nice it is to be around banter that is A1. And that includes you. I can't defend this behavior.

The cookie was too small. It's weird to break it in half. It was Oreo-sized. It was not Oreo-sized. It was Oreo-sized. That is fucked up. It was Oreo-sized. If we consider an Oreo's volume, it's Oreo-sized.

Let me take the ugliest picture I've ever taken of anyone and post it and see what the people say. Maybe you should. We'll do a poll. Maybe you should because then I'd be right. Let me take the ugliest picture I've ever taken of anyone and post it and see what the people say. Maybe you should. We'll do a poll. Maybe you should because then I'd be right. Let me take an ugliest picture of you. All right, Cheryl. I mean, with that hair.

My hair is fine. Bro, you're fine. I want to take a picture right now and I won't post it. I just want to show you what you look like from my perspective. I'm covered, bud.

I'm covered, bud. This is insane. Look, maybe slime's just actually an asshole. I'm not an asshole. Look at this. Maybe shake didn't look bad and maybe Nick doesn't look good. My hair's fine. Okay. Maybe slime's just actually an asshole. I'm not an asshole. Look at this. Maybe shake didn't look bad, and maybe Nick doesn't look good.

My hair's fine. Okay. All right. All right. The people will decide. Wait, you said you won't post it. I think I'm reaching my breaking point. My trust?

No, I just wanted to say that. I would like to rotate him out for Nade Shot. Rotate slime out for Nade? I would gladly bench for one game just to have Nade Shot try to put up some three points. I would love to smoke a blunt with Nade Shot. I would love to smoke a blow at Nadeshot. I'd love to start a business with Nadeshot. I'm about longevity. You'd like to build. Yeah, I want to build some shit.

That's so beast of you to say. I don't care. I just want to see how his mind works. Me and Nate have been building for ten years. That was the seed. You planted the seed right there. I tweeted that and then I was talking to our dear friend shen and he's like as someone who works in esports that will probably stress him out a lot and i'm like yeah there was that weekend there's like a hotel there's a hotel bar in the middle of just just in the middle of the lobby that a lot of people would hang out at

and there's a lot of people from the mlg event. And that's where those Optic guys were at the time. And when Nate was sitting there, I sat down next to him and I said, what if a hundred thieves came in here and ransacked this place right now? And then he looked later, he's like, a hundred thieves. And he looked down at your business attire.

Yeah. What if... Yeah, and then it just... P.T. or Griffin moment. I think he came together in that moment. I actually did ask for a job on Ironically. That was real. At the time, what was he doing?

He was a pro player back then. I asked Hex for a job, and then Hex gave me his email, and then I emailed Hex back and forth a couple times. Hex is nice. You want to spar? You spar no training. You're more athletic than me.

You're cooler than me. Whatever. You're foreskin. And I spar you. I've You spar no training. You're more athletic than me. You're cooler than me. Whatever. You're foreskin. And I spar you. I've only sparred once. And he has no foreskin. We should do it. I don't think it's a good idea.

All right. Fine. Pussy. Oh, man. I don't think it's a good idea. Can I leak something? It's like, what? Can I leak something?

Is it about me? It is about you. So I got a text out of the blue from none other than Zach Oyama. And he goes, is Slime really going to fight Wil Neff And I said no no slimes not fighting will not not true. Maybe that goes Okay, good Dude that's funny Come on

We were friends you got shooters out there ring forever you got ops I think I can't fight you cause I would get

angry uh why cause that's what I'd have to do if I fought someone he'd go berserk on you he doesn't want to you don't want to see me

it is hard I didn't think it would be hard but when I sparred for the first time I was like oh punching someone is kind of like a mental I didn't think it would be a thing but I was like should i do this like should i harm this man

and then i hit him four times and nothing happened i was like oh i guess i guess i can't harm this man i shouldn't have done that moving on but isn't it easier when he punches you to punch him 100% so similar if you punch me i would find it very easy to punch you it's you you start understanding the game of it when you get hit or land a hit you're like okay like you set aside what you're doing in terms to like play the game um so i think you'd be fine i think i could set aside the emotional aspect of it if i didn't know the person intimately that i was sparring but i think if i did know them it'd be a lot harder i think we should dude i don't know why you want to fight me. It is harder to punch somebody, you know. I think it'd be fun bears. I'm not just

worried about punching him, I'm worried about the after. What? I don't know if I'd ever look at you the same. What? How would you say that to me now? I don't know if I'd look at you the same. What would be different? What my hands did to you and what yours did to mine. It's, it's, we don't die at the end, man.

That's not for sure. Alright. He don't want to spar. He don't want to play. He won't at the end man that's not for sure all right he don't want to spar he don't want to play i won't play the game that's okay you're doing your session this week uh no because we have that thing you do you have a shoot you're doing a shoot tomorrow oh do we not okay yeah because you're you are directing the shoot i'm there and you're starring in it we and i'm co-starring in it did you know this i knew this Do we not? No, you do. Okay, yeah. Because you are directing the shoot. I'm there. And you're starring in it. We? And I'm co-starring in it.

Did you know this? I knew this. You didn't know this. I didn't know this. Did you know it? I did know it. He knew of it. I knew it. But sometimes things slip.

I knew it. It's for World of Warships. Yeah. I don't know. I'd love to say that. I just said it. Dan was like, did Nick walk you through it? And I'm like, he told me what to do.

I walked you through the idea. I didn't get walked through. What? You didn't hold my hand. I said in turn he was going to be all right. I didn't do that part. You know what? Because I trust you to know.

But maybe sometimes I like to hear it. So you guys are all... No, man. You cannot go no it's like a COVID thing this set

it's like too many people cool it's still a problem by the way so the fact that you don't think it is is like kind of

I've got like a lot of stuff tomorrow so okay so good yeah no workout then but if you if you need somebody

it's a COVID thing it's just too many people it's a COVID thing. It's my schedule changing. But if somebody doesn't show. We don't want you to get COVID. If you get COVID, then we have to pay you.

Start the right role for you. Right role. It feels like there's a lot of roles though. A lot of space to be stood in. You're thinking a lot. Tone that down. Less thinking. We don't like the thinking.

It's part of the problem for us. Well, like I said, I'm busy. You're a football player to go fall in love with. I need you to fall in love with the best footballer. The best footballer? Josh Allen. The best footballer?

Brock Purdy. Footballer. So Lionel Messi. You want me to homewreck Leo Messi, dude? Actually, that'd probably be bigger for the show. Does he have a wife? Absolutely. Yeah.

We could capture the international audience. a wife absolutely yeah we can capture the international audience dude if if lionel messi lionel coinbank cheated on his wife with you and your rocking body and then you come on the show and talk about how sorry you are and they hear my down you're not sorry i'm not sorry i'm not sorry for fucking the man i love i'm not sorry for beat for falling my heart i'm not sorry for coming inside a lionel messi i'm not sorry for coming inside a Lionel Messi. I'm not sorry for filling him up with a water balloon. Now that's too far. Oh, that's too far.

When a man does it to a woman, it's not too far. But God coming in a guy. Oh, I see how you think. That's too far. I'm making Queer to Queer tomorrow. Queer to Queer networking. This is, that's, it's Grindr. That's Kindwire. And you download weed

yo you're welcome see i got him too bro you think you think you're the only one out here trying to trying to change i'm happy i'm happy to see you fucking show up that makes me happy it's good to see the ideas running at full speed you see line wire is back is it as what it's not back the the company The company's tweeting. They said we're back. What does that mean? I don't know what it means. I'm just here to podcast.

Say it. What does it mean? The numbers. I understand what you're saying, but I want to step on you and call you stupid. I also bought NBs just like yours, but I didn't wear them today because I'd be biting. You still wear them all the time. No, no. I got like that color too. No, you wear them all the time you wear this one to the podcast all the time no i

haven't worn them he doesn't even fucking care about me it's actually just okay what happens if you're wrong i'm not what happens they just arrived he has to do 100 uh he has to do 100 push-ups on the next podcast because i know i'm right under the next are you saying are the next pre-match. Are you saying that you've just never worn your New Balances to the podcast? No, the black ones and the white ones. Oh, you wear the white New Balances. No, because you also have the green ones. But you don't listen to me. It's not about the green ones.

It's about the black ones because you just got them. I need you to listen to me for this relationship to keep working. That's crazy, though. But you won't. Oh, it's crazy. Oh, it's crazy. Now he's curbing. It's a crazy thing.

Are you prepping for Valentine's Day over there? Because I feel like it's a normal thing to want. That's not what I meant. He bought the green ones, and he's like, I bit your shit. I bought the green version of your shoes. Then he bought the same shoes right after. But I clearly said it was about the color

when I was just explaining it just now, but you were listening. You were thinking about pussy or something different. My brain didn't even want to hear that part because I can't believe he did it. That's such a funny way to phrase, I didn't listen to you. It hurts. My brain didn't even want to hear that part because I can't believe you did it. That's such a funny way to phrase, I didn't listen to you. It hurts. My brain didn't hear that part.

It hurts and I should be the bigger man, but it still hurts. That's a five to five. This is tough. You hate- I'm taking that bar back. Are you in my boat right now? Because you hate to see this where slime is just right. He's just so right here. You hate to see it. I do hate to give it to him.

Because it doesn't happen often. But he got called- He thinks it happens a lot. That's how you know. He thinks it happens all- slime thinks it happens all the time. This valley is't happen often. But he got called- He thinks it happens a lot. That's how you know. He thinks it happens all- Slime thinks it happens all the time. But in reality it happens very little. That's how you know how right I am,

because it's so begrudging to give it to you. You don't want for 10, but once you hit it, you pop it off. You're a biter, man. So think about that. You're always biting my feet. You're always biting my feet. Yeah, I'm a fucking bum.

Always biting. So what? I am bald. I am last month. No, no's fine. So what? I am bum. I am a fucking bum. Save it. Save it for Nate, bro. Nate's, Nate, I can't be in the same room as him. I've been too mean to him.

I do. Unless he wants to talk. I actually have thought about this, is you've, you've ruined any chance of, of working with him on anything. Yeah, absolutely. It's crazy you just said no after like saying you would never want to talk to me.

Because what if he is like, no, I'll chop it up with that bald pussy. I do think Nade would be down. Right? You think Nade would be down to chop it up? Maybe not with slime.

I guess I don't know the extent of what you just said. He doesn't get anything out of chopping up with me because I'm not popular enough. I don't think he has time. Does he even have time to chop it up? If you were really critical of Nade.

This has happened. It would be worth talking to. You're expressing something that's happened. But that's different. He'd send you a picture of two Cubans in a case and be like, let's go chat it out. Dude, that'd be lit. Let's go find out what we need to say. I made a mogul mail about 100 thieves.

I think it was after a round of layoffs or some shit. I forget exactly what. And then I was trashing all of eSports and lumped in that was 100 thieves. And then we met each other at a party. He Lumped In. That was 100 Thieves. Sure. And then we met each other at a party. Oh, he talked to you about it? He talked about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did he have something to say? No. I mean, not like, fuck, he wasn't like, fucking. Did he, like, shove you? Yeah. He didn't like your reporting? I think he was just like, man, I will, like, fucking fuck, dude. He came up, he was like, mogul male. I'm a male mogul Practicing for the conscious cipher I want to send you into a war zone with a with a Kevlar press jacket

Yeah, yeah, and have you make something fucking? Thank you, I want to send you to the Kremlin I want to send you to deep Russia to talk to Vladimir Putin. I want you to make a YouTube short doing zines with the Nelk boys. Dude. And then interview Vladimir Putin like the next day. Did you see that moment when Vladimir Putin was like, yeah, like you applied to be in the CIA. Thank God that didn't happen.

And Tucker Carlson's just like, what like what that was great we're in a crazy time i was just i was more thrown i didn't watch the whole interview i i did see the clip of him talking about doing zins with the nelk boys like with the nelk boys putting them in and then the same day 30 minutes later watched the first like 15 minutes of the interview. And I was like, this, that's, that's crazy. Because that means that Vladimir Putin is like one step away from being on the Nelk Boys podcast. He's actually another step away from being on ours. Real.

Two degrees of separation. We hung out with Nelk a lot. That would be a hell of a good episode. We did hang out with Nelk a hell of a lot. Yo, so so Vlad you smoke Bad Russian bitches a All take turns sloppy Asking Vladimir Putin if he's given up smoke. Oh my god

So why do you like since 99 Who you listen to right? Ha right now shake out a bunch of Zins. Okay knockoffs in he was the plug I Actually, what was looking like that? I kept packing a news in every like I'm not Packing a news in every like I'm not Puts it in he goes I'm seeing things I'm helping to help me see things I can't go I see things and then I would call a play that would happen and it wouldn't happen

Beautiful wife mad about that doesn't she know not cigarettes. Oh, she doesn't like the cigarette But first off the Zins I don't even like very much, not zin, cigarettes. Oh, she doesn't like the cigarettes. But first off, the zins I don't even like very much, because after a while, I start getting like, like it feels like acid, battery acid is going down my fucking chest and throat. Wow, I would take it out after like five minutes and then be like, Shay, give me a new one. So I'm not even getting the full effective one,

but what was funny is when Tina popped the zin. No! Not Tina! Yeah. It was bad. And Tina's just sitting there hyper aware. She's like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling. Oh my god. I think I said this last year at the Streamer Awards. She went up right

before or after me, I forget, when I was presenting my award, and she was so nervous. And she's sitting there, kind of like the Rage Cage thing. And this producer comes up and she's like, are you okay? She's like, yeah. Do you have tequila?

She's like, I'll go get you some. Like it was a fucking war. She needed a bandage. It was very funny. But that's the only image of Tina that I have in my mind is like this, this tiny thing that needs alcohol to function like a little bender from Futurama. In conclusion, don't do zins unless you're going to interview the president of Russia. Just packed up asking him where the

nukes are. Yo. Hey, where do you keep those things? Where do you keep those things? Cheshire? Hey, it's Cheshire. Hey, please give us Cheshire. I know. Oh! Putting them in like war zone shields. Alright, everyone. Hey, thanks for listening to the Yard Podcast. Now, if you, I don't know, Patreon episode if you want to keep listening. What else, Lonnie? And go check out Alright everyone Hey thanks for listening To the art podcast Now if he

I don't know Patreon episode If you want to Keep listening What else line And go check out Hitch's bisexual podcast It's gonna be out

Where him and Aiden Talk about what it's like To sit on the fence Truly Look up sudden infant Death syndrome Cause that shit's crazy Dude what did I say

I said that to I said that about OG Kid OG Kid was at the tournament And he kept trying to money match me he's like 15 and his mom's there he's a he's a good kid but he just wouldn't fucking like shut up about being better than me at melee i'm like shut up bro and then he's like fine keep dodging me he's walking away i was like i hope you get sids oh that's crazy that's crazy that's so crazy every dude every every story about OG Kid that I hear

is him instigating against people because he knows he has the high ground with his age and he just like he just loves

poking at people and then he he catches it back really well apparently he just laughs it off he's a good kid yeah and you're all good kids too

so go to kindergarten and play this at full volume so all the kids will know exactly how to act in normal life because that's what we do. Okay, bye. See you in the primo. Bye. All right.

Bye. All right.