The Yard - Ep. 136 - The Streamer Awards was crazy...

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

This week, the boys talk about the streamer awards, competing in genesis, and how Aiden taunted and it backfired...

you want to put your phone away hey tiktok shannon sharp's talking about kai sanat shannon no way shannon sharp called kai three feet tall. And then he said you put him in a chair and he's one foot five. Oh my God. I watched that guy on the Broncos as a little kid. Yeah, and now he's talking about Kai Sinat being short. This is just crazy. And it's not even the biggest collab because I took a picture with Liam.

It's not a collab for one and two. No, that's a collab. Neither is the picture. The photo is black and white, so it's kind of and two. No, that's a collab. Neither is the picture. The photo is black and white, so it's kind of a collab. Yeah, it's a collab. Most collabs are like that. We started doing a skate video after. It's like art.

It is art. Can Eam... Can Eam... Yeah, Eam. He prefers Eam. He can drop the L. Can Eam heel flip? Takes no Ls.

Eam... Eam tray flips only. You only know three tricks, and I just taught you heel flip. Kickflip, heel flip, tray flip, varial flip, front varial flip, backside varial. Hollywood high, what did I do? Nollie. I don't know what the fuck that is. What a fucking fun tie.

You got your big ass pink ass crocs. You look like Barnaby. I don't look like Barbie. Yeah, they look like Barbie crocs. Every pink guy doesn't look like Barbie. I'm looking at you Doesn't look like Thank you Thank you I know

Why do you have Barbie Crocs on Nick says you look like Barnby It's cause I They gave them away At the after party At the streamer awards

And so I wear You know Crocs Paid me to wear Crocs At the streamer awards How much We'll beep it No way

No way You're lying You have to You're lying. You have to be lying. You're just lying. That's your lying face. I'm not lying. This is like, your homie comes home

in like freshman year of high school and is like, I touched her boob. This is, you're like, no you didn't. Dude.

Some of us are like, no you didn't. Yeah, some of us are like, I did. I haven't touched it. This is, it's more like,

it's more like, I held her hand because this is like, it's impressive but also a believable I held her hand because this is like it's an it's impressive But also a believable number what sorry you never had a friend who you believe Were people touching boobs and six when did you get your first kiss ninth grade get your first kiss? 9th grade. Loser. 9th grade? Loser. Dude you're a loser. That's cool you had a briefcase and you were working at a job. Was that your second job? Were you fucking retired? You were a lawyer by that point. Hey, hey, hey. Aiden, me too.

Ahhhh. No it was different back then. It was different. Colorado. Inflation. It's like doggy retirement. You have to add up the years. you're giving me this? Yeah. Fuck you. Let's go. That's embarrassing. It's the same age. You might as well have been in college. Ooh. You might as well. It's just the same.

You're right. No, wait. Did you get your kiss when you wore the suit to school? This is fun. I'm glad I'm off the hook here. No, that was two years later. I was 12. Really?

Maybe 13. Lighten that shit up. What was her name? Lighten that shit up. I was lighting that shit up what was her name lighting that shit up i was like that shit up oh i thought you said lighten it up like hey chill bring the age no it was ariana oh yeah and she laid out she went to a different school no we kissed behind our school after a field trip to Washington DC She was like I want to show you something back here, and it was dark out And I was like that's the first thing I said is it's dark back here, and she's like it's okay It's just a little bit longer, and then she kissed me and we walked back and everybody saw

And I was like I was like fucking like Be shit be sure I dabbed that too what's Ariana yeah it was the first dab and it didn't catch on for years later no it didn't and then he went what I have a song I don't know what

he taught me you can kind of catch it your kids are gonna love it what uh what's Ariana doing now uh I don't know I haven't looked her up

is it her oh was she a young a young she yeah she went on to date Big Sean. She goes... It was actually why we broke up.

Big Sean got in the middle of it. He was just Sean back then. Right. TMZ interview of Ariana Grande. Pete Davidson's penis second only to this guy in high school I went behind the bleachers with. I went behind the bleachers and it looked like Sleeve of Wizards. She didn't see my penis it doesn't look like the sleeve of a wizard it's tighter than that well well

it's sleeve of wizard after it gets out of the dryer if you're wearing a puffer jacket it's more it's like a turtleneck yeah or like Carl Jager it's more flattering you can fold it over if you want to, but then it kind of unfurls. Doing tricks.

It does unfurl. Yeah, and then you can squish it up and then it's like a present. dream with me. Now, you have foreskin. Do you want me to just

show you my penis? No, I don't want to see your penis. Do you want to see his penis? I want to know if you guys have done this because I would do this. No,

I can do it. Please don't show me your penis. Actually, you know what? Fuck it. It's morning. Who cares? Crazy come on You know the dots candy from the movie theater

See you're not doing a service when you do it soft Wipe your hands Get hard and show them again I've never that is the first time I've ever seen the head of an uncircumcised penis not in porn Can you get hard and show them again? Listen, dream with me Zipper, pull something up Pull sonic sucking on mario you you take your fingers in this and for the audio listeners i'm putting all of the tips of my five fingers into a point like i'm doing a pizan do you know shut up okay you take this and then you take the you put it into

the whole docking docking you just shut up okay you put it into your fore of your foreskin. You just invented docking. No, shut up. Okay. You put it into your foreskin, and then you open it up kind of like a medical device. Oh, like at the dentist. Yes. Yes. And it looks like a webbed skin tent. It doesn't really work. It doesn't work? No, it doesn't work.

You've tried it. Oh, the webbed skin tent has been labbed. So what you do is you go for a self-suck, and then you go, and then it blows up. And then when you release, you can quickly fit the five fingers in before it. And then it makes a and then and then when you release you can quickly fit the five fingers in before it and then it makes it it makes the noise your nose that's how you keep vegetables fresh longer in the fridge yeah or use the green bag yeah you don't have to do all that but welcome back to the art episode one oh this is our first one my one imagine show never would have happened this is it this is what we talk about

generally this was the first episode yeah I don't think we make it this is already better than the first episode don't expect me to show my penis a lot because it won't happen again

for a while and he doesn't do drugs or spend money and he's good at melee and the last one was genuine oh that was genuine

no it's not you know it is because I've you did a great job 129th and I just want to give your round of applause. Because I think that's impressive. We got to talk.

What? We have to talk? Oh, we do have to talk. We got to talk. About what? Because we have to do some reversing of damage that you've done in the community. Wait, I've done damage? You've done damage.

You've done damage. And I have to add the caveat that if you get tilted, this bit's less funny. Okay. Remember that shit. And we can't have you cry and do subcutting again. We've spent that before. Come on. What do you mean, come on?

Come on. Are you kidding me? If I knew you would have been like that, I wouldn't have said shit. What do you mean? I would have just talked to you about it off the damn pod. Oh, the crime thing? I saw you review this. Yeah. I saw you review this.

Yeah, bitch. I thought it was interesting that you were so, because the only, you can see it happen in the episode when we did that, is the first time you ask, I intentionally give you like a don't get into it answer. No, you didn't. Yeah, I do. You can't see it. You've auto-reviewed. I've auto-review i do i've already reviewed maybe your body is worse it's not well unfortunately and then you press multiple

times to get into it and then i choose i choose to be vulnerable and then also offer to cut the segment and then it was one of the most i would argue probably one of the most, I would argue, probably one of the most beloved segments of the last year. I loved it. No, I think he's right. He is right. I'm right about everything. The view. Whoa.

I'm right about all of it. He's actually like you now. Yeah. This is the role. What about you being uncomfortable with the role? No, no, no, no. And now you have to show me your piece. And I have to pretend I push it back. I have to pretend I have to push it back.

You have to bring your tight skin back up. It's going to be a lot harder. It's possible, by the way. You know what I was, though? I was really afraid when that happened. I was like, fuck, they're going to roast Aiden, and it's not going to be fair. And I was like, fuck that. The vulnerability is respected in this world.

I think that you're afraid when things aren't funny. Of course. Yeah. I think that that is your conclusion. Yeah, I came to this conclusion when I did the VOD review the the other day when i was like maybe some things don't have to be funny it's because of what i said in your chat and that's okay i said some shows are not comedy shows slime yeah and you went whoa and i chewed on that for a while he's like thinking about him he's like breaking bad so yeah but there is something to discuss yes and you can you can

be whoever you want loving I love it is the court I am the court because I don't know anything about this game. What is the game? It's called Super Smash Brothers melee, okay? For the core what I want to tell you before we get into this I love you and I'm proud of you I had a great run you have done damage and you practice on damage and And you're in your abyss mode and the fact that you could cry on camera and be like, yeah, let's keep that in and put soap cutting. Because that was your suggestion, which was really funny. I was like, he's more beast than I'll be. And I want you to know that.

I appreciate that. So, put the fuck up. Okay. So, let's talk. Kill yourself now. That was a short-lived nice moment. What have I... Tell me.

Okay, so. Tell me what I've done. So, Genesis. Fantastic event. Fun time. immediately tell me what I've done so Genesis fantastic event fun time and after every night there's Guildhouse which is like

an after party bar kind of situation I love Guildhouse and many a people are coming up flooded many a people are coming up

and being like man you guys hear what happened to Aiden on Pokemon Stadium that was a tough set I heard it was bad I heard he lost everyone's coming around going...

Like how they used to deliver news in the 30s. Yes, they're like, I feel so... No, the Nazis. They're from Germany. They took over. Yeah, something's going on over there. I don't know. It's on a paper. Seems sad. Yeah. And everyone, I'm learning that everyone is only receiving one side of the story.

Well, there's only one side! They're not getting Goombs' side of the story. Well, there's only one side. They're not getting Goom's side of the story. They're not getting... Not even necessarily. They're not getting the more objective, sober view of the story. Just literally the physics of what happened. The order of operations of what went on in this set.

So let's tell the story first from Aiden's perspective. Okay. So Aiden is playing against Goom's. Goom's considered to be a better player. This would be a good win for Aiden if playing against gooms gooms considered to be a better player this would be a good win for Aiden if you pull this one together gooms is a good player gooms is a young driller I once watched him I'm saying that yeah he's good player no joke y'all think he even I know the name gooms it's seeped into my world but in 2016 you know goom wave oh my gosh wait

Samus well no it's go Goomy. It's confusing. Fuck! Sorry! I'm out then. I'm out. Gooms has a young melee player in like 2016.

I used to watch him meditate outside of the Mayhem venue in the grass and then proceed to go O2 instantly. I only know Gooms because you beat him.

Yep. Oh yeah, there's a chat. We beat... Oh no, there's a We Lost to Gooms chat. No, you beat Gooms at... at... Yep. Oh, yeah, there's a chat. We be... Oh, no, there's a we lost to Gooms chat. No, you beat Gooms at either SSS or... It was at the Esports Arena.

This is a 55-year-old moment. That's what Peter does. I beat Gooms. All right, go ahead. Gooms great. So Aiden is playing Gooms. And in Melee, it's a best of five. So you have to win three games in a row.

Not in a row, but just in the set to win the match. So many games. And on game... Aiden is up 2-0 does a good job healing he's one more and in game three he has a percentage lead his opponent has 90 he has zero it's looking off stage and then the tree comes up the pokemon same tree comes up and because there's there's because nintendo has been involved in this event we don't have our frozen stadium like we like it Yeah, we have the transforming old days like we did it like we did it for like when you watch the documentary The way it was when the world was black and white resourceful son of a bitch Ken he got on the windmill Ken figured out that the sword goes through the tree or something So it gets stuck in the tree of the transformation gooms who plays Fox comes back to stage and then

Infinites Aiden against the tree, which can only happen when transformations are on. Which happened in Top 8 as well. Which happened in Top 8 as well. Which was more the fault of Jmook that time. Yes.

He said, I'll go in there. It happened two times. Jmook got... Jmook did full-on jump back into the pit. Yeah, Jmook was famously addicted to trolling. So Aiden gets Infinite, dies,

and this is when I walk up to the set. And I'm like, Aiden just lost the game, but he's got the next one. Aiden looks visibly destroyed by what happened, but the set's not over. He's usually level-headed. It's tilting. It's a pretty cringe thing to happen. He had the set. It was right there. It would have been 3-0.

It felt bad. It's reasonable to be like, fuck that. So, we go into the next game. Aiden is up three stocks to one. It's a to be like fuck that. So we go into the next game. Aiden is up three stocks to one. It's a big lead. And Gooms makes a Nick Ealing factor happen. He comes all the way back.

I choke. Aiden chokes the one stock to three. And Gooms high percent just gets a banger last stock in and kills Aiden. Ends the game. Now we're in game five. It's kind of spooky because Aiden was just up in the set 2-0 and now it's even. And it's like, who has the momentum?

You know what's going to happen. And Aiden loses the set. Whoa. In game five. Reverse 3-0. And Aiden gets up and he's like, fuck, that was bullshit. I'm saying it outward dialogue not in a standard dialogue that was bullshit

also to clarify bullshit as in I'm only talking about the stadium thing yeah it's clear what happened was bullshit 100%

and then he goes over he gives the table a little bit one of these it was very mild it wasn't like a freak out it was mild it was really normal

it was very tilted real shit I didn't think yeah I didn't think it was particularly it wasn't crazy it it was particularly crazy. It wasn't particularly crazy. And then,

you know, the day went on. We did the thing you do when your friend loses, you walk away. You don't wake eye contact. And then you wait to see if they're raw

or they're not raw and Aiden was raw but he wanted to hang out so we found him again. He was raw as his red dick. And as the day went on, people would probably ask him the question,

how did your genesis go? And he'd tell them the story I told all of you out there. This is Aiden's story. This is Aiden's story. This is what happened from his perspective. And this is what most people at Genesis learned about what happened in that moment. I feel like you're telling me too much about his story. Can I hear about her story?

Thank you, Ludwig, for giving me a platform to speak out. I want to know her story now. There is basically the same story. Basically everything is true in this story. It's so close. Actually, all of it is true. It's actually all true. Oh.

There's just other things that are... There's just one small detail. Traditionally true. In game four? Traditionally true. What would you call the... In game four. I actually came and sat down during game four as well.

I didn't see what happened on game three, but I sat down literally in between Gooms and Aiden in the back. So I was right there. I was within earshot, if you will. Sure. Or if you won't. And what happened when Nicky, or sorry, Nicky Engling, when Gooms.

We didn't know she was there. When Gooms was down to his last stock, to his last bone. Aiden got three of them. Aiden got three of them. He's looking pretty. He's about to close this out like he should have on Pokemon, but before the bullshit happened. But. Didn't close it out.

Aiden grabs Gooms. He gets him in a grab. And Gooms visibly frustrated. He's like, oh, God. And Aiden, to Gooms. Out loud. Out loud to Gooms, says. What does he say? I said, come on, Gooms. You're staying it, Gooms. Out loud. Out loud to Gooms says, what does he say? I said, come on, Gooms.

You're staying at Gooms. You're staying at Gooms. Staying at Gooms. You got this, I believe. Out loud to his opponent. Right. Who then reversed three shots. Who then did say it.

And stays in it and wins. He stayed in it and he did say it. And then wins the whole thing entirely. Yeah. You almost have to give Aiden the credit. If anything, I believed in him in that moment more than Aiden. No one knew this besides me.

No one got told this detail of the story. So every person who came up to me and told me about what happened to Aiden, they're talking about it like a tragedy. And I say, well, do you know the secret? Do you know my secret rule? Do you know Nick's secret detail? And they're like, no, tell me. well do you know the secret do you know my secret rule do you know nick's secret detail and they're like no tell me and i tell them secret detail and everyone goes

oh he deserved to lose why would i deserve to lose aiden what went through your mind when you said that oh i was so angry that i even had to be in the fourth game that was like why because i could tell he was frustrated and i was winning and i was so mad that i have to be playing this fourth game right now because of a dumb rule change that on a stage that we don't even play on when we practice and that's the only reason we're here in this moment together. And I just, I don't know, it just kind of came out. And then as soon as I said it, as soon as I said it,

obviously I'm thinking about what it means if I lose the game. Do you regret it? No. I think Goombs played well and he won the set. And I very publicly said that he earned the, I feel like he earned the games. I ran into Gooms later because I needed to know what he thought. I was dying to know. Imagine getting grabbed and you're about to lose the game

and someone's like, stay in it. You got this. Me and Gooms are standing outside in the rain. It's pouring. We're like, we're walking. Like we happen to meet each other. I went to a boba shop. Also. Hold on. I go to a boba shop. It's the rain. It's pouring. We're walking like we happen to meet each other. I went to a boba shop. Also hold on. I go to a boba

shop. It's dumping rain. Dawson not sharing his umbrella. That's how he rolls. Typical. So I'm just fucking letting it come down on me. He brought his umbrella. You should have brought one. Yeah. That's what he would say. So you're kind of yeah. So I'm walking back. I see gooms. I go gooms come here.

I gotta talk to you. And I'm like so you're see Gooms. I go, Gooms, come here. I got to talk to you. And I'm like, I'm like, so you're set with Aiden. He goes, oh, yeah, he's smiling. Like, oh, yeah. I'm like, I know exactly how he's smiling. Yeah. It's like it's the smile that the cat has in Cinderella that like glows through the darkness. So I go, I can't believe he said that to you.

And he goes in his little Gooms way. He's like, yeah. So, you know, I kind of like wasn't really in it in that set i wasn't really there and then he said that i just thought okay i want to win the set and then i won the set yeah and i'm like do you think that you only won because he said that to you and he's like absolutely wow he's like i would have lost a hundred percent if he had not said that to me he gets to say that but you never know you never know you never know but this is the information as it exists we can only use the info we're given to take and interpret and then he went on to win another set after the fact really yeah he won his next one Goose can thank me

so he got 65th run who was it uh uh psyched as a marth player okay dang 65th is progressive dude akir beat sunse this tournament donkey kong shouldn't be shouldn't be beating fox but he is all right my one my one addendum to this yes is that even in that moment of frustration uh because before the set me and goons were like goons is a good friend of mine and i was like fucking with him before the set about some stuff and in that moment even then even as frustrated as i was i would not say that to somebody that i did not have a relationship with that i feel confident that that would be fine. I can buy that. So I, if,

if, if it was like some stranger, like if it was like my opponent from like the set before, for example, who I had, I did, I've never met them before. I wouldn't say that.

It would be the funniest opening clip to a taunt to get bodied compilation. Yeah, absolutely. Cause like I said, as soon as I said it and as soon as this is what happened, as soon as I said it, because he clips me at like high percent. So now I have two stocks, right? But then that's my second to last one.

Zero to death. Clean. And we go to that last stock and my hands are shaking. And I'm like, I only regretted it in the sense of, oh man, it's going to suck if I lose this. Dude would be so beast if Goobz was like, come on, stay in it, dude. Dude, oh my God. He's doing tight scale looking at you. Oh my God.

That would be beast. I wouldn't be able to say anything. I think your punishment is the reality that you have to live with. The punishment is just losing the set. That's what I mean. That's what I said, but less eloquently because I'm an English major. I would argue more eloquently because you said reality. I'm eloquent.

Elephant. It's fine. He won. And I was sad. But in a normal way. And I was just happy that I played well. I'm happy, too. I'm happy that you're happy.

I'm happy that you got far and lost and aren't a fucking wreck. I think that's fucking sick. I'm curious. What happened in your pool? Did you know about this? No. Dude, Aiden is so dumb., right? Aiden is so dumb. You saw this.

He's so dumb. I'm glad Aiden saw it. I heard this story. Aiden told me this story. And I literally did this. He told me. I went... Damn.

Why are you not? It's slime dub season. It's like, dude... No, it's not. It's not slime dub season because he's a fucking moron. It's like... Dude, it was like

your friend just got out of the fucking pen for showing his dick at the mall. And it's like, dude, day one, he went back to Hot Topic and he showed his dick at the mall. It's like he told me that and I was like, dude, what did you do? I was like, there's a Paxton this time. Can you guys put money in my account so I can get cigarettes? Dude, he's a loser's bracket.? Anthony's in losers bracket in pools because in his first set of the tournament, Anthony plays one of the worst sets of Melee I think I've ever watched him play. He loses to his round one opponent.

So he's already in losers. I'm pissed. He's pissed. He's so bad because he played so bad, which is understandable. It was not a very good demonstration of Anthony's ability. You only get two shots in this life. And then Anthony wins one set at losers, and now he's playing some Fox that I just don't know who it is. No one does.

No one will ever know. No, the Fox. And then the Fox, it's kind of happening again. Anthony's not playing very good game one. Dude, he almost four-stopped me game one. Yeah. And then it's, like, it's kind of happening again. Like, Anthony's not playing very good game one. Dude, he almost forced Falcon game one. Yeah. And then it's game two, and Anthony's turning it on. I'm literally locked in.

If I may, he's fucking game. I'm watching this Falcon cruise around the screen, and then Anthony almost force talks to this guy. And I'm like, Falcon, get up. They're beating your ass. I'm happy because I, seconds earlier, before watching him close out this game I've just watched Nick Yingling lose to ice climbers Really quick caveat the extreme homey moment DQs himself from Genesis because he knows he's going to the streamer awards

So he does not take away round two pools from the person in losers. Wow. That'd be fucked up. And he gets to play less melee. Yeah. Wow. That's a good move. Homey move from Mick Yingling.

Because getting knocked out of tournament and then the guy who beats you just leaves is like, that sucks. So yeah, and then it's game three and it's pretty tight and it's pretty close and I get a pretty big lead because I'm locked the fuck in because I literally thought after that guy beat me

the first game I was like fuck this in my head I was like dude fuck this I'm tired of this shit and I just moved

like 200% faster and that's all it takes he sees his thoughts and he's placing them where he wants them it's amazing in a small no no no

whoa whoa whoa don't get ahead of yourself because you might write the wrong ending in this second game And he's placing them where he wants Second game I tell you know a funny moment. He's feeling himself No, no, no, no second you go you get this is a critical detail. This is a critical detail He goes for a Falcon punch in the second. Wow it doesn't it doesn't hit you lost the first game, right? He lost the first game goes for a second game, but he's up by so much Falcon punch doesn't connect That's such a slow move. This is the game. It's not one one And the Jets are on the jet. Thank God and he's fucking he's nice. He is he was playing fucking nice with it We enter game three and if he Anthony is still playing nice with it.

I'm still nice with it. By God, he's playing amazing. He's on Pokemon. Imagine that shit. He's so... Twin. I'm so impressed. It's such an adjustment from the first set.

And then he has two stocks, and his opponent has one stock. That's double. And Anthony drops has two, two stocks. And his opponent has one stock. That's double. And Anthony, Anthony drops a combo, gets clipped, and now it's one stock apiece. But this guy, but that guy has a lot of percent, dumb. But this guy has a lot of percent. Oh, great. Oh, that's fine.

That's good. Surely we just closed it out. Back air, up air. Anthony, Anthony hits him with a stray aerial. He flies off the stage. Anthony had zero% on stage. This guy off. And all Anthony needs to do is grab the ledge or use any aerial to hit him again.

Or even, yeah, grab the ledge. And he'll win the set. A passive situation. You don't even have to use a move. You can just not use a move. And Anthony. Your money makes money. Anthony, before this guy has committed to a recovery,

stands at the ledge and decides to let another falcon punch go. He revs up another falcon punch. This guy sees that he's falcon punching, up B's above him, and then shines him twice at zero and wins the game. And Anthony loses. And this is, if Anthony had done anything else he would have won. And he gets up after trying to stunt in the last stock situation and is like so pissed he lost.

He's like so mad that he's out. And I'm like, dude, you can't do that. Do we have the slippy VODs? It was like he beat Tetris. he found the only thing that crashes the game He couldn't even run away and just let him come back and they could any still hit him yeah I get such a high chance Walks him into an animation in place and allowed the opponent to come back to the stage and win. You both went to a taunt to get bodied event.

I don't remember who said this crucial detail after this too, but someone told me like, and if he did hit the Falcon punch, it wouldn't even have been a hype one. Yeah. I said that. Cause someone was like, well, at least was it cool? And I was like, no, I was just standing there. I didn't jump. I didn't know anything fucking cool at all. Dude, I fist bump him, and he's just like, dude. And I'm like, uh, and I just don't even look, and I fist bump him. And I just stand up, and I just looked up. All I did was just look up.

And finally the rain stops falling and our crops are going back to being starved. And it was just like, yeah, nub season is not a curse. Slime nub season is not a curse on the land, you piece of shit. No, no, your nub season was the rain that fed the crops. Yeah, and now it's gone. Now it's gone. And now the crops are dying. And you're gonna starve because your nub season is officially over. I don't want the season. The nub season's over. And I just stood there and I'm like, fuck, dude. And then the guy lost immediately in the next round to another Falcon.

And then I don't even know this guy, but afterward, he came and found me. He was like, dude, you're crazy. You're a weird fucker. That's how I felt. I was like, yeah, I know. You are a weird fucker. I was fucked up. And then it is funny. I was like, it was a fun game, though, man. He's like, that's how I felt. I was like, yeah, I know. You are a weird fucker. I was fucked up. And then it is funny. I was like, it was a fun game though, man.

He's like, yeah, it was fun. It was fun playing with you. I'm like, yeah. And then twice more throughout the weekend, I just, I saw him again. I was like watching Noir, I think, play. And then I turned to my left and he's just there. And I'm like, ah! And he's like, hey, what's up?

Like a fucking ghost haunting me. And uh Melee's so fucking beautiful. It could always be worse. So we both learned our lesson. We did. I learned our lesson. Never again. I just won't do that again. I'll never yell something. I'll only yell nice things at goobs during sets.

You get taught a lot of lessons when you play melee. You know that chirping at a melee sets what got me into a crocs remember that what remember the guy the gibbets Yeah, I ran into him. No really he came up to me. He says He's by the way his name is tag is burr. I don't know what it is now, but it was it was baby We met him yeah He comes up to me. He's looking great. He's looking great. He's looking great He's looking great before He's looking great. He's looking great. He's looking great. He's he's cleaned up before He looked great. So where are you looking better now? And he comes up and he goes everyone keeps telling me

I look like you and I I laugh and i'm like because i'm like I see it Like it's not that close but we it's like the glasses and hair and whatever and uh, and he goes do you know who I am? and I was like I'm staring at him. And I'm like, he's like, I let you sleep in my mom's bed. I'm like, brr? Because me and Ludwig once slept in his mother's bed. After we fought at a melee set up.

And then he gave me a pair of Crocs. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Different. No. The same guy? His mom's bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were saying that.

Was his mom in the bed too? That was when we went to Texas for Mario Party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we met originally fighting at a melee set. Yeah, I thought you're saying that was his mom. That was we went to Texas for Mario Party Yeah, but we met originally fighting at a melee said yeah, they met in big house Yeah, and then uh some some guy got mad and then I slept in his mom's bed his mom was not there But she would like to it would be weird if it was like three She would have it she would have loved to be she would have loved to meet us cuz we're so charming I mean, yeah, I mean it's also in a place of comfort.

She would have loved to be tucked in between two Mario Party savannas. It's a king-sized bed. I didn't say that. King-sized bed. And it would have been platonic. So if we need to fit three people into that bed. And I appreciate the Crocs he gave me because it turned me on. I want to be in a polygamous relationship with that guy's mom.

He mentioned this. A polycube? He mentioned... No. A cue. A cue. A polycube. A polycube? He mentioned, no. A cue. A cue. A polycube. A polycube.

There's four of us. That's what they play with when they're not having sex with each other. To entertain them. He mentioned that he's salty at you about the Crocs. Why? You know, I didn't listen to this bar. I forgot. But it had something to do with, like, he gave you a hookup.

Yeah. And then, like, you didn't, like, do something back. Do you owe Mandem? Yeah. I mean, he let me sleep in his mom's bed with his mom and give me Crocs. I think you owe him a lot. I owe him a lot. You got some phone calls from him.

That guy, I'm indebted to. Hey, shout out to him. That was Genesis. That was what happened. That was the lessons We learned along the way There was It was a really Really good tournament

Uh Arshie can you end The um The melee chapter In the timeline And then start a second Melee chapter For the people who think

They're getting out Yeah I was thinking This doesn't really have Anything to do with The game itself But I thought this was Really funny

They're at They're Sets uh That play out Before like top eight and when everybody's like actually in the stands they happen people have to crowd around setups so as the crowd gets bigger and bigger it becomes harder and harder to join the crowd and watch because there's people in front of you that are just like too tall so you can't see the tv screen anymore And it's fun because you know when a really hype set is happening because there's so many people crowded around just one CRT trying to get a little peek.

And you find your little like hole through like people. Yeah, it's like a CS angle. Being tall is busted in this scenario. Yeah, being tall is really important. And then eventually there's too many tall people in front of you for you to see the set anymore. And one really, really hype set is hungry box versus s fat and s fat uh is is is back he he'd been gone for like a year right and the crowd's getting

really really big and nobody so many people can no longer see the set but like are still in the crowd and then somebody what what'll happen is somebody pops will pop up their phone and then hold it so it's like a little preview of the screen so they can hold it up high and then everybody behind them can watch the phone feed yeah it's like a television yeah i am but the crowd this is the first time i've ever seen this the crowd got so big that people couldn't see the phone getting held up anymore. So somebody pops a second phone on the phone. So there's a chain of screens and cameras that is connected like watching this one set in the crowd because it's so long because it's game five, last stock.

There's got to be almost like fucking 90 people crowded around this one setup. And three, there's this giant group of people watching a phone feed of a phone feed of the tv it kind of sounds like how you watch a movie on a bus yeah like behind them dude i i love the idea of like a bunch of phones up like you know kind of people trying to see but one of them just playing like raw bareback shit. Sorry, don't look over here. It's my phone. I was just banging here. It's my phone.

I was looking for the plate. Tune into Jack's little stream if you don't want to see that, man. But I thought that was really funny because I've never seen a crowd get so big that somebody needs to pop the second phone. Do you need FOMO ever? No. Okay. Okay.

Yay. Me and Sunse became friends as Genesis. He's my new best friend. Fuck you guys. Were you not friends before? No, I never met him. He traded. Oh, really? I met him in passing a couple times at certain events but never really hung out with him. He needed a new Miles in his life. He got rid of Australian Miles. He's Canadian Miles now. I miss Miles so much.

No, he has discarded the old Miles. I famously said I won't call Sunse Miles. I don't like it either. Because I only call Miles Miles. Josh man calls him that. His name is Miles. Isn't that crazy? His name is Miles.

So it's not weird to call Miles that. It is. He's younger, so technically. It's weird for Josh to do it. No, because Josh would be like, I'm hanging out with Miles. And it's like, Miles is here? And it's like, no, Sunse. And it's like, come on.

I don't think that's that weird it is Sun Tzu's name fly on the play it's his name we have a lot of nicks yeah and we make different names for all of them on purpose if only Miles had a different notable name that a lot of people

knew him by that we could use move on every night of this event We would eat a street hot dog together It became a bonding ritual where we'd like he hit me I'd be like dog or like street meat or whatever I'm gonna be so weird about it Kept talking about street meat. Oh shit the fuck Yeah, well I had a for like at a food place like you're like I got eat a street hot dog

I know I think about it, and he's like I made plans This is exactly what he said and then no one says anything he's like I got eat a street hot dog and no one says anything about it. And he's like, I made plans. A hot dog on the streets. And this is exactly what he said. And no one says anything. He's like, I made plans. I made plans. Everyone's like, bro, it's okay. It's like, we don't care. Just eat the fucking dog.

And then he'd be like, ugh, it's a dirty dog. Guess I'll just go and get a dog, I guess. We're doing this. So Ludwig at this fucking restaurant., Ludwig finds a random hotel restaurant. Walk in, there's no one in there. And the guy behind the counter, who is the bartender, probably also the owner, and also the chef, he's the only person here. He's not the owner, but he is doing every single job by himself. He comes over, and I've missed the first half of this dialogue tree if you want to fill it in.

But the general idea is that this guy is saying, there's no one here and I don't really know how to make anything on the menu. I walk in and I sit there for a while and then he comes over and he's just like this fuck, he looks like how's it going? He's a guy. He's a dude.

He's a dude. He looks like he just wandered and he put on an apron and then I was like so it's only apps right he's like well kind of like I can make this this the lamb chops

are like kind of tricky and I was like so no lamb chops and he's like nah it's actually fine yeah he would do that a lot dude that's so funny he told Lubbock

he can't do tuna tartare and then I ask him separately like not really knowing what he got answered and he goes I have to tartare and then I ask him separately like not really knowing what he got answered and he goes I have to call someone and I'm like don't do it.

I'm like I don't want I don't want raw anything from you. He used to call the tartare guy? And so tartare also famously you don't cook. So this guy

this guy this guy has gone through a lot of hurdles to basically explain to Ludwig that not only is he somewhat incapable but also he does not have a lot of hurdles to basically explain to Ludwig that not only is he somewhat incapable, but also he does not have a lot of support or anything. When the guy comes over, he's like, what can I get you guys? Ludwig says, and I quote,

Alright, I'm gonna get crazy on you. And then he orders like 20 things. I'm hungry, bro. He orders- Why didn't you just go somewhere else? Because San Jose is a shit city and everything closes. He's getting multiple orders of the same thing. He's like, yeah, so the four sliders. Can I get like three orders of the four sliders?

If I had another option, I would have gone. But it was raining. If you were this guy, would you like you? Yeah, I'm charming. Anyway, it's raining. San Jose's a shit city. I wanted to go to a slice of a mosh pizza. Because slice of a mosh pizza in San Jose is fucking fire.

But they close at nine or eight even. The whole city closes down at fucking four. It's crazy. Actually, the only bad thing about Genesis is that everything in that area closes early. Everything's closed. Yeah. And they don't give a fuck. Like, even the bar at the convention center, we were watching the tournament.

2,000 people are there. It closed. McDonald's open, bitch. That's true, but I didn't want to walk, and I didn't want to wait. So it's what Ludwig wants is what Ludwig gets. I literally walked into the first place that was open, and it said open, and it had an LED sign that went, bring, bring, bring, like the O-P-E-N. And he came in, and he said, bro, it's kind of like it's not open.

And you were like, I don't care. So I keep talking about Glizzy's, hoping someone will ask me about my new friend, because I'm just trying to talk about it. Nobody did. No one asked me, so I keep talking about glizzy's hoping someone will ask me about my new friend So I keep bringing it up, I'm like I'm like yeah, so glizzy's sling for hot dog actually Nick you want anything you'd be like ah I made a pact God he a street now. I'd be like I'd be like so we got this thing we go like dogs Someone started looking at their phone like what? Yeah, and then Liam told me to come with. So I, so I, so this is actually all perfect that you brought this up.

So I have a date with Sun Tzu to go eat a hot dog with him. He'd been talking about it for hours. We're in the middle of topic. Oh, just him talking about it for hours? You found a little, you found a little guy to hang out with. I found a little guy. And my goal, my goal is to steal everything that Josh loves from him. What do you like the most about him?

Because Josh beat me in tournaments. Yeah, Josh was a cunt to you. What turns you on the most about him? His clitoris. And how good I am at knowing what to do with it. Do you think he has a sensual voice? That's a genuine question. Yeah.

Yeah, I think he's a little Rizzler. You know the nipple game? No. What? Find the nipple through a shirt, one shot. It's like put the key to the hole. You think you win the prostate game with him? Through the shirt?

I think I got that shit. Still through the shirt. I got that shit pre-saved in my Uber Eats app. You've previously ordered. So I eat all of Ludwig's delicious food, which thank you for paying for. And I'm a little full, but I'm like, you know, I'm gonna go eat the fucking hot dog. No matter what, I will not tell him I'm full and I will eat the hot dog.

And these hot dogs. What do you want to add to me? Quick wrap up. I paid for the meal. I tipped $69. He gave me a free bottle of wine. 69 is it? Are you fucking kidding me? That was probably the price of the meal. How much was the bill 200? Oh, it's 200 you tipped him 69

Yes, he made his life fucking miserable. You give him a fucking me We're giving a bottle of wine he doesn't want you What do you think he gave me a bottle of wine after not because he hated me because the shit was hot and the cops I think I think he pissed wineed you did you try it yet it was corked and I gave it to the cashier at the restaurant he handed off the piss wine because I couldn't bring it on the fucking plane

so he gave you a gift and you gave it away he gave me a gift and then I went to the guy at the front desk and I said hey do you drink and he said no and then I said can you give it to someone and he said sure and i said don't tell the guy who gave it to me your job your job is to skull it immediately dude i drink or make it and drink it because he would have yeah that should have been smart um so so you're late and

your tummy's full i'm like this i'm going through the rain i'm trying to get the students safe so i get my and and the hot dogs the stands are on every corner because when there's events in town like they just set up stands everywhere and they're all the same. They just go to like the hot dog factory where they wrap them in bacon and everyone has the same product. So you can go anywhere. They all have the same ID lanyard. Yep.

Yeah, they're the same. From Hot Dog Co. And I finally find Soon Say at Guildhouse and the hot dogs are $10 each. What the fuck? I know. They're fucked up. That's what this country was built on. And all weekend, all weekend I've paid for Sunset's hot dogs because he has fucking CAD and it's like not usable money.

$80. And he sends me, he sends me a picture while I'm with you and he's like, dude, look what I got. And it's a crisp 20. And I'm like. American 20? American 20. That's good.

That's good. He's got his dogs written all over it. He has Canadian guilt, right? Cause he hasn't hung out with Americans long enough. So like, he's feeling terrible that I've paid for everything. And so he goes, look what I got my hands on. You could have bought 13 Costco hot dogs. So many other things in life.

13. We probably, we probably spent over a hundred dollars on hot dogs in like two days. Jesus. Um, cause there was, there was a night where he's like, I'm not above going for another. So what? Yeah, it'm not above going for another. What? Yeah, it was crazy. He's gross.

This is disgusting. Now you're interested in my dogs. He's a little dirtball. I wouldn't find the prostate on him. So he sends me the pictures. He sends me a photo of a $20 bill. And I'm like, oh, hot dogs on Zunzay. I love that. And so I walk in the rain.

I finally find him. And I'm like, I'm here. He turns around. His eyes go wide. And I'm like, I'm here. He turns around. His eyes go wide. And I'm like, what? He pulls out a $10 bill. No! He had a dog without you.

And he goes, I'll pay for your dog. And I'm like, I can see what happened here. He bought his own dog. He got hungry. He got hungry. He got hungry. And I'm like, dude. And I have a choice to make here. Because I can tell him happened here. He bought his own dog. He got hungry. He got hungry. He got hungry. And I'm like, dude. And I have a choice to make here.

Because I can tell him that I already ate and I'm okay. And I don't need the dog. Or I can be like, dude, that's fucked up. Or you could just be like, yeah, let's just get a dog and split it in half. No, I didn't say that. You literally didn't say that. I said, do you want to split one? You should lay and tramp the dog. He's like, no, I'm so full. No, I did say that. I literally did say that. I said, do you want a split one? You should lay and tramp the dog.

He was like, no, I'm so full. No, I'm so full. And I chose the route of... He's going to grow another damn finger. I chose the route of honesty. I told him, you know what? It's okay. A lot of people find me.

He goes, oh, thank God. Him finding street meat is like Squidward finding Krabby Patties for the first time. You call it street meat? Street meat. That's a good name. Yeah. I said that earlier. No, that's clever.

That's clever. This guy's funny. I like him on the pod. I have been, I finally ordered the big shipment of Factor to be able to feed Josh Mann. I did the same thing,

but to feed myself. Oh, I thought you were saying to feed your girlfriend. What if we both feed Josh Mann? It'd be weird to buy a Factor to feed your girlfriend. I just want to cut in here. What if we both use our Factor?

Why is it weird to feed Factor to your girlfriend like a horse? a factor to feed your girlfriend. I just want to cut in here. What if we both use our factor? Why is it weird to feed factor your girlfriend like a horse? You have to keep your girlfriend fed. Well, what is good is factor does keep you fed. And so maybe you should all viewers go home and feed your girlfriend like a horse with factors delicious. Ready to eat meals. Take the factor. Let me see the flavor zipper.

Take the factor. Take the 35 plus meal choices and the 55 plus add-on options and the juices, smoothies. Put it into your hand like oats and feed it to your girlfriend. And you want to be careful of the fingers. I've actually been dumping the juices and the smoothies into a bucket and then putting it around her head so that she just sits there. This is the most misogynistic you've ever been. How? What are you talking about? And then put it around her head so that she just sits there. This is the most misogynistic you've ever been. How? What are you talking about? Look, when I...

How? How? I'm sorry, giving my girlfriend lovely nutrients is the most misogynistic. When I dated... Okay, take me. When I dated a guy, when I dated a guy, last circa five years ago, I also fed him this way. You can feed... So don't make it about men be like, and women be shopping. Don't be that guy.

Cause you are being that guy. Be the guy or girl or individual in your life that feeds your partner with factor meals right out of your hand. Like, like the farm pans used to do in the old time. You don't have to cook anything. You put them in the microwave. You put it right,

right from microwave to trough. It is a very seamless process. Uh, so that's, so you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can is a very seamless process uh so that's so you can you can just kind of pour it out into the trough and then all your partners can eat it at the same time a good polycule everyone has their own bowl as good as if we were to say factor meals are good even if you're in a human centipede you still get nutrition listen get factor for your polycule. Use code THEYARD50, factormeals.com, slash THEYARD50. Maybe you got 50 people in your polycule.

You get 50% off. That's code THEYARD50, factormeals.com. Can I just say real quick, I've been eating the Factor black label. I've got a little bougie. Oh, there's black label? They got Primo? They got Primo. They got Captain's Reserve?

Bro, it was yum, yum. Yummer Town? Bumblebee, Bumblebee, yum, yum. was a yum yum. Yummer town would be bumblebee. Yum. Yum Yum, we're down USA population on me Wow America's number one ready to eat meal. Thanks guys You know, it's funny is that it's when you meet a new friend that you click with really well It's kind of gets too early to do things like that to them. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, but if it was like down the line it's like oh i'll run i'll torture him till he's dead excuse me you got a dog without

me i thought i fucking meant something this is josh i'll get him to venmo me yeah if it's josh you make it hurt yeah yeah jesus you have to dude i uh i did the something similar i really wanted a diet pepsi in the venue but the line was gigantic, so I went to the first person waiting in line, and I gave him $40. And I'm like, can you get a diet Pepsi, and the rest is yours. Slime was doing this all weekend. Dude, that is overkill. Slime, you switched.

He was happy. He bought a bunch of food. He's like, I'm going to give this to my friends. And I'm like, fuck yeah. Didn't you pay someone to get in line? Yeah, so I... For what? No, no, I know I had VIP badge it wasn't even it wasn't even that IV IP badge and you can just get through because I'm commentating which I think is a valid you know reason to have the badge unlike for instance

burger yen oh well everyone in mobile moves had one which is crazy what's wrong with burger yeah I don't think you should have one nor Nick England factor integral fuck yeah why don't you say us why is Burger Yan again? I don't think he should have one Nor Nick Yankling factor Integral to the event Why don't you say us? Why is he VIP? Excuse me? Why don't you say we shouldn't have it? Because we have it for the same reason

Oh you shouldn't Then talk about us Candy boy Talk about Yan He's not here Tell me I don't think you guys deserve anything And I've been saying that

So So I go up And there's just Because the security's fucked this year It wasn't fucked. There was just not a lot of staff and they were doing a thorough job. I would argue it was the first major that had security that did their job. It was, or that I've been doing at least.

Which is great. But the result of that are lines that take over an hour to get into the venue sometimes. And I have the IP badge and that's a huge fucking, that's a big deal. Cause you don't have to wait for hours. And so I walked through and I just go hour and a half wait yeah for the shit not a joke and I go and I show and I show the security person I'm like hey can I can I hop in here they're like

yeah sure and the person I'm in front of I look at them in the eyeball and I said I'm sorry and he's like it's okay man how it goes I'm like do you want $50 I forgot and then he's like yeah it's okay, man. How it goes. I'm like, do you want $50? I forgot. And then he's like, yeah. And I gave him $50 cash.

Because you had a VIP badge and he didn't? Because of guilt of cutting this guy. Because what they do is they drag you to the front and they put you in front of someone who waited an hour and a half. They basically like put him in the cock chair? You have to. Yeah. It's actually a good system because in order to cut the line you had to like very visibly do it in front of everybody who's waiting different than like

when you do it at tsa and you have pre-check no it's it's it felt different it's way different because everyone's in the same line but you just have a special little glowing it's like clear it's like clear and they just like someone literally chaperones you and says nope go in front of you nope Nope, stay there. Not with the peasants. Not with the peons building the pyramid. Come, Pharaoh. It's a very visual experience.

Everybody that's standing in line is watching you go past them. And that guilt haunts me every single day and I was finally able to pay it back. And also, at the airport, everyone's a villain. But at Smash event, everyone's a friend. That's true. And then you become the only villain.

And everyone's like, what the fuck is this? A similar situation. I walked up and I was like, I have a VIP badge. I mean, I can kind of get through here. And the guy's like, oh, there's actually another door for VIPs if you want to use that. And I was like, oh, can you show me where it is? So he escorts me and a couple others to this door. And I'm not kidding the line

the door is like 4050 yards away, dude It's like a fall and the line is still going it goes all the way to like the here's the convention center It's like they're trying to buy a day It's three goes all the way to the hotel next to the convention center, and we're walking we're walking passing Well, everyone's watching us get experts like as we're going by people are stopping in line They're like hey, can I get a photo or like oh? You gonna go are you skipping the line, everyone's watching us get escorted. Like as we're going by, people are stopping in line. They're like, Hey, can I get a photo? Or like,

Oh, are you going to go? Are you skipping the line? And I'm like, it's so brutal. And this one guy is like, everyone says I look like you. There's like all that happening.

And then we get, we finally, we finally get to the end. And the line is still here. Like we can still see the people in line. They open the door for us. And the guy goes, these guys are all,

can all get in. And the guy, the guy goes, how many do you have with you? And he asks it to me, and I make a joke. And I turn around and go, one to 400, like counting everyone in line, thinking everyone's going to love that. No laughter.

Everyone just deadpans back at me. And I'm like, just kidding. All right, let's go in. Just kidding. Let's get in here. Just kidding. Just these guys. Not you guys.

Sorry. It reminds me of when the souls are in the mixing bowl in Hercules and then one gets pulled out and then the other souls climb on and they're like, why him? Why not me? It's unfair. Or a sperm in a ball. I think about it every day of my life. You want to talk about what's not fair? First off, we're the same.

We're corrupted by money. Me and you? I did what you did. Yeah, but I'm generous. You just do it for the feel. Oh, I heard about that. I went to the front of the beer line, and I was like, hey, I'll buy what you want to get if you get me two beers. And he's like, all right.

And so I did that. Okay. I didn't do an arbitrary amount and slap it on the table, which is what you did, but same idea. It felt right. The other thing I did is I went to stream rewards and in the stream rewards after party I met Liam Liam Liam what's he like he's he's very he's very nice he's very sweet he's uh he has a childlike joy what is that he's a pussy he has childlike wonder but also aura and grit he's got he's got whimsy, but also danger. I heard he's really shy and not talkative.

He fucks like no one. You fucked Liam? Did you top Liam? Oh my God. Bottom. So I met him at the party and we're chatting, we're shooting the shit. And then I mentioned that I'm fucking, I'm going to Genesis. And he's like, oh shit, i've never been to smash tournament you know i'm like oh shit well dude if you want to come

through let me know and he's like all right and so then next day i hit him up and i didn't i thought he kind of like knew a bit about melee because he follows some melee people but i don't know how on the scene he was turns out you don't know anything about melee really there was a point he returned over to me and i was like oh yeah he's going fd because you know it's just it's just harder for for yoshi there or whatever and then he's like yeah what's fd oh wow and i'm like i was like oh he's baby new yeah yeah and uh and so i message i message initially aiden i'm like hey any tickets and he's like ah tough tough i'm like that's fair so i messaged bo back who runs the

event i said bo back any tickets he's like how many you need baby i'm like ah like five he gets away with it like five would be nice because me connor at wall a couple other people and he's like he's like all right and then uh and then i i show up to the venue and just he's like message me when you're here i'm like okay then i show up a bit late, I show up to the venue and just, he's like, message me when you're here. I'm like, okay. Then I show up a bit late cause the drive from San Francisco and then, and it gets me in. And then I see five seats in the very front row. Literally closest to stage. Yes.

All with reserved tags on them for me and four other people. You know what fucking pisses me? It doesn't piss me off. Cause I like Bo back. But I, when i talked to boback for the first time at the event he's like oh by the way you know you should let ludwig know whenever he wants to roll through he's got a seat and i'm like yeah i'll tell him and i didn't you didn't and i got my seat though i i made a walk of shame at 5 a.m from the venue to my hotel

and because i i had my hotel was separate from the convention center to walk outside and I crossed bo back and he goes yo is lovely coming and I go he was obsessed I go I don't know and he's like well let him know if he comes he's got a seat and I say do I have a seat and he goes of course you have a seat my g so I I don't even know if I messaged you. You didn't. Neither of you told me. Yeah. I just wanted to know what I get out of this. And so I got my five seats.

Now the story doesn't end. Cause when I got there, there was a guy in one of the seats and, and, and Liam was a bit late. So I was like, I got no problem. And then this guy comes up to me,

like one of the security genesis. He's like, Hey, so, um, you're going to have that seat. I was like, okay, yeah, cool. And he's like, but came at 8 a.m and camped out for that chair

whoa and we had a miscommunication because we were supposed to reserve it and uh and so we're just gonna kick him out but we want him to sit here until he shows up so i fucking ripped out hank beautiful hank you i ripped hank out of his i didn't do it no way but Hank we are not the same how dare you say that how dare you say we're the same what were you thinking you're a twisted fucker and then Leo sits in the chair and then Leo doesn't know shit about me he's like what's FD I can't enjoy this because my brain doesn't have the information he's like why don't everyone play Roy he got fire on his sword ain't Mario the best?

Because he's quick. Doesn't he move faster backwards in this game? Is that what a way dash is? And Hank has two. Why would you say we're the same? Dude, you know what's fucked up about this? That's outrageous. You know what's fucked up about this?

Is Bobak very kindly asked us who from the company was coming months ago. And this is why you etoile and connor had seats already you we had three seats for you months ago that we talked about and baubach messaged me and he was like please figure this out with ludwig now so that we don't have to do anything last minute the weekend of and i bothered ludwig about i had to ask ludwig like three times to figure out how many tickets he needed and then last so on top of the fact that this is the last minute request which boback specifically asked not to happen which is why i said i couldn't help you okay is uh the three seats that he had for you etoile and connor were marked reserve in that front row for all of

ultimate top eight good big but because you ask it but because you know those three empty seats that were in the front row they were for you you can see the three best seats in the house are vacant because it didn't come until later that evening. Look at the picture that's from Genesis' account that says, Oh, you think Melee's dead? Check this out. And then the first five seats are all empty. And that's because I wasn't there when the picture was taken.

I hate this fucking, like, we all gotta appease Pharaoh Ludwig. Because if we don't appease Pharaoh Ludwig, maybe he'll forget about this shit. That's why I don't relay messages. Pussy. It's not a good reason to not relay, but I do understand why you're saying that. You understand how that's unreasonable. I didn't expect all this, by the way. When I talked to Bobak like three months

ago about this, I even told Bobak he shouldn't give you front row seats. I'm saying. I said put him like in second row. But I was so emotive. Oh, Pencil Ludwig. I saw that one pencil dive Dude, when I popped off. Yeah, you were like give me an eye. I got so much air. Empty seats. Empty seats right in front. Those seats literally makes it feel empty in there. For the entire four hour ultimate top eight those seats were open. That's fine

Yeah, for fans of the game would want to. I don't care. Dude, their game is so dog shit. No. Their game is so dog shit. Can we just be candid for once? Can we be candid on the fucking podcast for once where we bare our souls and our feelings? If we say it, if we say the game's dog shit, then Mr. R is going to be like, the Melee players are being mean, and then it's going to be a fucking argument. Yeah, fuck them.

That's what I feel. Hey, you know what? Start a podcast, Mr. R, and then talk about how much the melee sucks. Zomba, Zomba, Rob, Rob has the laser. So Sonic couldn't camp. They had a good top eight. Dude, I look over Aiden in the middle of Ultimate Grand Finals. I'm like, this game feels really slow.

And Sonic's the fastest guy. And Aiden's like yeah Ironically I did someone was like light versus. Oh damn. It's on his phone. Oh is always with the phone always with it someone is like a light and Spargo are fighting right now in top 8. I'm like oh, that's actually hype so there is hype sometimes now in top eight i'm like oh that's actually hype so there is hype sometimes i'm like also it's just two things two things one by the way what what they made it up to hank i just needed to clarify that how'd they make it up to him they bow back did they say oh ludwig will sign something for you pharaoh ludwig is here hank don't you like that he'll sign something he comes

in with an ivy hey hank look who's here to see you. Love me completely wearing a Spider-Man costume. No, I know it's cold because you only have your hospital gown on right now. It was me. It was all of Top 8, and it was a suck and fuck fest for as long as he wanted. Yeah? Yeah, all of Top 8. And Liam too. That's how you got in there.

And Liam, and he would just watch. That's a dream. Liam in the cuck chair? Liam in the cuck chair makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I was in the cuck chair, dude. the cuck chair makes a lot of sense. Uh, and- Yeah, I was in the cuck chair, dude. The other thing... ...is Ultimate had more views. Uh, views?

Viewers. That's fine. I don't care. But what I'm telling you- It was also- it was earlier in the night. Why are you saying to me that we're the same? How- how fucking dare you? Was that some just- Yeah, Ultimate had more viewers because all the fucking iPad babies still had the stream on, dude.

Real? Yeah, dude. This is how you put your two-year-old asleep. Yeah, dude It's cool and Rob one with the year loss I Think we're the same because you've been corrupted and you realize that your money can get you access where your time used to be able to get you things. And so maybe and so maybe you think we're so different, but you're on the same slide. Mine comes from a place of shame and guilt. Yours comes from a place of I deserve this because I worked for it. I don't deserve it. I just figure if you don't mind if I pay for your food, I'll get two beer. That's fine.

I don't think I deserve two beer. It's more of every single day, and I'm not kidding, every single day for years, I have thought about people who have to like dig holes for like a little bit of money to eat food. And I think about me. He watched the movie Holes. It's a great

fun movie. Dude, you have to. It's a great. I literally, I can't stop thinking about how the kid and his shoes are on the telephone wire. He's stealing shoes. And the holes have to be as deep as your shovel. Even if you're shorter than the shovel. I know it's crazy. And I think about that every single day.

So that's why I am the way I am is out of this sense of like shame, which I think is healthy, but I don't think you have that much like, but you're not shameful enough to not do it. So I, dude, I'm giving much more than I'm getting back. I paid $40 for a diet Pepsi.

And to me, I'm saying, you know what? You're still above the line. I'm shooting the system, but someone's getting lucky from it and that's okay. Yeah. But everyone else is getting a bit screwed. Everyone's always the line. I'm cheating the system, but someone's getting lucky from it, and that's okay. Yeah, but everyone else is getting a bit screwed. Everyone's always... But what I'm saying, I can't give

everyone $40. I can't do it. We're the same. You won't sit in the line. You're trying to fuck me up. No, they only get a bit screwed if you get in line, too. If you don't, there's no time lost. There's definitely time lost if you order an additional thing. Just narrowly. I'm just saying everybody else stands in line. There's no time lost. There's definitely time lost if you order an additional thing. Just inherently. Like, it's- At a concession stand?

I'm just saying, everybody else stands in line. Everybody does it. I think you're just trying to justify your hedonistic lifestyle and it's disgusting. I'm not justifying shit. Everyone knows it. Because in this very, in this very serious- I'm a devil and you're coming to me. Did you feel-

I'm a daemon. Did you feel hedonistic when you got your beer? Did I feel hedonistic when I got mine? Did you feel like someone should have fed you grapes, Caesar? No, no, because I'm already so deep that I don't feel anymore. In this very facility, there is a bunch of shit from the old garage

from when we all used to live together, and it's a mountain of shit. And I just look at it. I just sit sometimes and I stare at all these things. Don't call him Burger just because you're mad at him. Either call him Burger all the time. Yan, I don't call him Burger just because you're mad at him. Either call him Burger all the time or... Sorry, Yan.

Yan, I don't call him Burger. If you say it like that, it's a slur. Yan is the piece of shit that he is, Yan. Gave everybody permission to look through my pile for some reason.

Yeah. Did you? Huh? No. We specifically said we're not going to go through the pile until after stream rewards

because he has to go through the pile too. And then Yan's like, yeah, look through the pile. And so then Cam just sends me like a pic of like my personal goals list. What are you doing here? That's funny.

What are you doing? You're the only one upset by this, so go fuck yourself. It's my thing. I don't care. In my warehouse. You don't care about them. I do. No, you don't.

You physically can't. It's like that speech you gave way back. Come to my hole. I can't care about all of you. You're in my hole. Because I can't. Because I can't. And there's 10 because I can't, because I can't. There's 10,000 of you.

It's the same shit with all your possessions. You're coming to my hole. I'm in your hole. But the thing is, I was in your hole since day one. No, your boy, your boy has been in your hole. Actually, not since day one. It's like day two. For a while, you were outside my hole, putting a rope in it.

And now you've jumped all the way in my hole. This boy's goal is to be in your boy hole and he's been in your boy hole since he was a boy old you were in my boy hole when it was my boy hole and you weren't a boy I'm just so proud of what you did just now you just made so much damn sense so anyway

we're the same and also I heard that soon-safe said his favorite movie was Interstellar. Yeah, I would like to announce that he said that. Wait, dude, you know what's fucked up? You're actually a bad friend to Sun Tzu. Me? No.

Me? Yeah. Okay. The only thing he said about Sun Tzu at the table with all of us was that. Yeah. And so all I left was this impression that Sun Tzu is like, you know, he's got bland taste. I heard what you said right after. I bet.

And it made me laugh really hard. Yeah, we were playing. It was me, Josh, and Sun Tzu playing in Shrouded for like a couple hours. And I haven't talked to Sun Tzu a lot. And we were just talking to each other. He's like, what's your favorite movie? He's like trying to ask some questions. He started talking about movies.

I was like, yes. And then I was like, what's yours? And he's like, Interstellar. Yeah. And then apparently what you's yours and he's like interstellar yeah and then apparently what you said backwards it's like you know what i like i like you know like big boobs i said that apparently i'm funny as soon as i told me he's like dude i felt so he's like i had to switch my movie. I felt so... He did switch it. I'm like him, man. You hit a Falco combo while you're listening to a cornfield chase.

That's like popping Molly. I still say this quote from Ludwig way back when you were doing the Mario jump rope minigame in the old stream. You were playing interstellar music you were like giving this speech about how it's your time and sometimes i'll still say it's your time in the same cadence that you do because it burned into my head what what is i like you what is romulus and penis from

i was so okay zipper can you pull up the tweet it's didn't you tweet? It's like 3 a.m. I'm walking back to the hotel with Josh. I'm pulling up Twitter, and I just see Ludwig has tweeted Romulus and penis. Which you said so long ago. Yeah, with no context. And so I haven't talked to Ludwig all weekend. I sent him a picture. The only times I talked to him, it was at Guildhouse.

I sent him a picture because it was Ludwig on the windscreen for Smash 4 or Smash Ultimate. And I said, I miss you. And then he called me asking for seats. And I said, go fuck yourself. Talk to Nick. But then I called him after seeing this raw. And I said, why did you tweet that?

And he just says, I don't know. I don't know. I was drunk all day. And I'm like, well, you remember that I said that and you thought it was stupid, but now you're tweeting it. You're like, yeah, I don't know. I just felt like, I guess it was, I just tweeted it. It was time. And then, uh, and then he said, I'm badge. And then I said, okay, good night. I'm badge. Good night. I will. Okay. So I went to stream rewards. I got drunk. I woke up. I did a shoot in San Francisco. I can't leak it, but I also got drunk.

Then I went to Genesis and then I drank more and I was still drunk. And then I tweeted out at some point, I was live tweeting some of Genesis Romulus and Remus and his picture of Zayn and Moki. Two moist boys. Two brothers and one killed the other. Yeah. And it was Zayn beating Moki.

And then I looked at that tweet later in the night and I was like, Romulus and penis. And that was it. Which one's penis? Well, Romulus would stay Romulus. Okay. So Remus would become penis. Well, I'm saying between Zayn and Moki.

Moki's penis. Moki's penis, yeah. Because Romulus wins and builds Rome. And then he throws a spear. Imagine it was called penis instead of Rome. Hmm. Oh! Would you want to actually go check it out? Oh, yeah. He didn it was called Penis instead of Rome. Hmm. Oh! Would you want to actually go check it out?

He didn't name it after Remus. Yeah, he named it Rome after Romulus. That's his name. Yeah. So if it was Romulus and Penis, he wouldn't have named it Penis. He still would have stayed in the Airbnb and watched Squid Game.

It'd have to be Penis. No. Wait, did he name it after his... Romulus won. He named it after himself. That's what I'm saying. But it's Romulus and Remus and Romulus won. I'm saying that. But it wouldn't be called Penis. No, I'm saying what if it was I'm saying. But it's Romulus and Remus and Romulus won. I'm saying that.

But it wouldn't be called penis. No, I'm saying what if it was? Oh, so if it was penis and Remus? I said dream with me. No, it was Romulus and penis. If penis actually won in the city, it was penis. No, but if it was Romulus and Remus. And we all went to penis Italy two years ago.

Would he have said it? He would have called it Remus. It would have to be called penis and Remus. Oh my God. How are you not getting this? You're not getting it. It's Romulus and Remus. Oh my god, how are you not getting this? Am I crazy? It's Romulus and Remus. If Remus beat him in the battle, it would have been called Remus Italy or whatever, right?

This is, okay, so you're jumping to not only is his name Penis, but also Penis wins. Yes. So I was just going by the lore of what happens. You're supposed to put this together instantly because you're a human being with context. If Remus had won, would it have just been called Remus? He's basically saying, what if Manhattan was called a Dub-Ot Hole Town? together instantly because you're a human being What if Manhattan was called a double town It's called the butthole town and also the British won the Revolutionary War Which is like we have infinite potential Understand that minds. The second thing is so much bigger.

Do you not understand that we have talked about way weirder stuff? You're kind of just unbroken. No way! Wait, what if the British were coming, but it was out of their penises? The British are coming, and they're done. So much fun.

One of them shaking. That's a podcast topic. How was the streamer awards? Did you have fun? What was the craziest shit That happened to you? What was the craziest shit? The craziest shit I can't I won't leak

But the craziest shit I won an award For best event Okay And Which was a surprise to me I did not want to win What was the event?

You don't want to win Dodgeball I didn't want to win Because whenever I win an award show at Cuties Award Show, people get all mad. Yeah.

So it's just easier for me to not win. And I also don't, you know, I got, I got, I got metal. You got dubs.

You have enough at-bats. I'm good. I'm cool with losing. So I expected to lose. I didn't nominate myself for that. I didn't vote for myself for that.

I didn't tell anyone to vote for myself. Still won, which is cool. Thanks for voting. I didn't tell anyone to vote for myself. Still won, which is cool. Thanks for voting. And then what I expect to have happened, I had some streamers dog me about it in the DMs. In the DMs about it?

In the DMs, they're dogging me. And one streamer goes, bro, your event was the worst of the four. Did Will Neff say that? I won't say who. It was Will Neff, huh? It was not Will Neff. I bet I'm close. I bet I'm close. I bet I'm close.

But I was all sad. You were sad that they were dogging you? Yeah, because I was like, what the fuck did I do? What were the other nominated events? It was fucking Kai, Senat, Seven Days In, Jailstream, OTK, Wild Wild West, Connor Dog Voice Actors, Charity Auction Stream. Wow. And Dogo came out on top And I came It's all

You know what I realized It's like It's all slop to me man Why? Cause I was at Genesis All weekend And I just I was like

Oh Stream Awards That's cool And it's like I was like I was happy for Cutie For the event popping off And I was happy for You for existing And remembering that I exist when you texted me back and said,

I miss you. But other than that, I was just like, Oh, it's just, just slop. It's just slop. Do you think that that cleared up what you were thinking?

I don't know. Cause I'll waver or waver in and out. Sometimes I'm like, it's not slop. Don't say that. And then sometimes I'm like, I spit on it. And now I'm like it's not slop. Don't say that. And then sometimes I'm like and now I'm in a slop rotation. It's like a waning

gibbous. Is Maximilian dude's career slop? No. Anything the FGC does is legit. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool especially because I like it. I like it, so it's cool. Does this make sense now to you? It feels a little self-indulgent, but yeah.

What isn't self-indulgent in this planet? What happens if I look at you? Charity? If I look at you right now and I tell you, what if I say the Creamer Awards? What do you make you feel, white boy? Creamer Awards. Creamer Awards. Yeah.

And it's a competition and Prezzo wins. And Prezzo wins. He says, LMAO, I creamed on it. So there is a lot of... Do you see? his picture he posted. It's a picture of him interviewing Valkyrae next to an old tweet of his that says, should I kill Valkyrae? That's good.

That's good shit. The only person to ever make those two things happen. There's a lot of gays in the stream reward. Okay. Hosting. And? I feel like. You're saying that.

I have a problem with this. I'm just mentioning it. Is it also a bad noun to use? You kind of said like the follow up would be there's a lot of gays and also people. Can I follow up? There's a lot of gays hosting at the streamer awards. One of them bothered me. Is this still a problem?

Let's run a thought experiment. Is this still a problem? Because they were gay. No. He was just gay and he bothered me. His name's Prezzo. Can you say it in the reverse order? Prezzo.

Can you say the same thing? Just flip the order. There's a guy who bothered me. And he's gay. me. His name's Prezzo. Can you say it in the reverse order? Can you say the same thing, just flip the order? There's a guy who bothered me, and he's gay. You might know him as Prezzo. See, that sounds worse. Let me do a thought experiment. There's this fucking gay outside that won't go away. That doesn't sound like a thought experiment. No, no, but...

Dude, thought experiment. That sounds... But how is that... You use it as a noun, I use it as a noun. That was worse. Right? It doesn't sound good. Well, because...

No, let me try it. It's worse. There's a fucking guy outside that just won't stop bothering me. And he's also gay. Can I try? Yeah. Okay. This guy outside just won't stop bothering me.

Gay! Gay! That sounds unrelated. What is that? This is a Bill Burr bit. Is that bad? Oh, is it? It's a Bill burr bit is that bad oh is it it's a bill burr bit about how people use adjectives white people specifically use them wrong adjectives or nouns adjectives we use adjectives why are you talking like that because it's how bill burr talks

adjectives that was your bill burr and he said white people use the adjective before the the noun and that's the problem. Gay Prezzo. Yeah, like, I saw this gay dude versus I saw this dude, he was gay. Okay. But if we cut the bullshit and just say, I saw this gay. Is Bill Bird not a fan of adjectives? He thinks adjectives are gay. Okay.

But that itself is one, so how does he reconcile that? He actually self-implodes in the video. award interviews that were supposed to air on cuties patreon for wine about it and because he's part of the wine about a team he does the socials and he was just the worst interviewer to ever do it he couldn't do it like og huh he couldn't putting it myself he couldn't do it at all but he so i go pointing at myself. He couldn't do it. At all. So I go down. I win my award. This is him interviewing Valkyrie. What the fuck is that fit? No, he's got that shit on. I don't think he has that shit on.

He looks like a King of the Hill character. He looks like they did an episode of The Baby Office. And he's Jim. To me, he looks like, dude, my grandpa was so hot back in the day. So I go down, and Atwal's before me. He's getting interviewed. He won best fighting game streamer.

And I just hear the conversation. He's like, so, Smash Bros. That's all he says. Dude. And Atwal's like, yes, it is a game. I do not know. What's yours saying? And thenwal's like, yes, it is good. I do not know. What's yours saying? And then he's like, that's cool.

Atwal, everyone. And then that's like the interview. And then I go up and I'm like, what's up, Prezzo? And he's like, you won an award. And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, whoa. And there's a crowd of people behind him who are like all different makeup artists who are working in that area.

And they're just done now. So they're sitting and they're all just like, they're just like laughing under their breath. Like what the fuck? And I look at them and I was like, has every interview been this bad? And I expect like, yeah, it's been horrible. And instead I get this. Which is so much worse. Yeah.

This being the middle is bad and they're afraid to tell you. Yeah, it's like, it's been so, and I'm like, fuck. So if you're on the Wine About It Patreon, please let us know. Was it actually as bad as I think it is? Preso, babes, as a professional interviewer, hit me up. I'll give you tips. And you can give me some tips. On how to dress or something.

About editing. I don't know. On how to get that shit on. On how to get that shit on. On how to get that shit on. Actually, I'll go to Phil for that. Sorry. But I'll help you, Prezzo. Oh, this is...

Oh, no. I'm not wearing it anymore. I was going to say something to you. What were you doing? But I forgot. Oh. Oh. Dude, it sounds like a laugh.

Stop it. They can't hear, but you're- They can hear. They can hear. Oh good. You got that? And I'll tell you what notes it hits. Oh, dude. Bergamot? Don't suck it in. Bergamot? This is Ethiopia, uh, blend. That's a Colombian. Yeah, this is a pour over. It's a Colombian. It's close. You have to swirl it in your mouth. Let's go.

It's got sock. This is disgusting. What a stellar return to form it in your mouth. Let's go. It's got sock. This is disgusting. What a stellar return to form the yard has done. We're so bad. This is what happens when we're all eepy. I'm not eepy, bro. I'm alive. Yeah, we got home.

We just instant napped. It saved me. I was rough. You were eepy as heck. I was eepy as hell. Yeah. I ate a Chick-fil-A breakfast for the first time. Ew.

No, it actually kind of goes hard. It makes you feel... What is it? Awful. Is it just a Chick-fil-A sandwich? Chicken and a biscuit. Oh, that sounds great. And hash browns.

So it was fire. That sounds electric. But literally, I could feel it taking over my body like venom. It was awful. I was just like, oh, God. The grease has to course through. Me and Mike were in the elevator to go to the room, and it's like this packed elevator. And because I am a smash guy,

I can tell when people notice who I am but are choosing not to say anything or whatever for whatever reason. The aura. The evil aura, yeah. And there's like 10 people in this elevator, and it's me and Mike. And I notice that all these people are like,

oh, it's not right. And so I just, I'm like, I look at the certificate on the elevator wall where it's fine right and so i uh i just i'm like i look at the certificate on the elevator wall where it's like the inspection and i look at it i'm like oh my god the inspection was done last year it expired and then mike instantly picks up he's like oh no and we get off on our floor and it opens and it's only us who leave and mike's like y'all be easy just nodding his head it was so funny that's why i think i i think the best use of fame or any sort of micro niche fame or whatever you

want to call it is like the bill murray um strat where you just like kind of act in a way like that someone would tell a story of that will just like travel you know yeah not that that's kooky or crazy or anything but bill murray would do this thing reportedly where he would do something weird and then be like no one will ever believe you and like walk away and that's cool i think that's the best use of the the meme of kind of on the topic of like the shame and using our notoriety to like get stuff. I all, all weekend on this trip, I was not at any point besides having a VIP badge, like trying to leverage who I am to like get something. But what kept happening to me is I kept meeting fans who either were going to Genesis or like

happened to be in the area, but more at Genesis. We went to a climbing gym and there was like people who worked there who watched the yard and stuff and this kept happening this happened like five different times where someone said dude i got you they kept saying the phrase i got you and i'm like dope i'm getting hooked up somewhere that they're going to the climbing gym and the guy was like you're next in the yard and i'm like yeah he's like dude i got you and i'm like sweet i don't know i'm like cool so i'm assuming you know he's gonna like wave my member or whatever and he goes all right that'll be like 40 bucks that's like the full day rate for the climbing gym i'm like it's weird i don't know what he's got like i brought my own shoes no rentals so he didn't get me at all yeah that's weird i show up to the after party and i i'm waiting in

the line to get in i could probably skip the line if i wanted to but i'm like yeah i see friends in line i'll just wait and the guy who works behind the bar comes out he's like dude you're i'm like yeah and he's like do you come to the bar and you get inside i got you he's like you want to get the line i'm like no he's like all right we'll come to the bar i got you so i go to the bar and i bring soon say and i and i bring that and i'm like what do you guys want he's got me and they're like i want two fucking this two fucking i order like five things he full full charges me. He doesn't get it. Oh, really? He full charges me. Maybe it's a big ass meme. I'm glad.

That guy copped two drinks for me. What the fuck? Yeah, that guy was great. So maybe I went over his limit. He did. He did get me. I think that you thought that you would get mad love in San Jose. No, I didn't.

I was just told. He thought he would get mad love. I was just told I was getting love. Nobody knows you there. But all he got was straight dogs. I assume. You pay $10 for a straight dog and you get no money. Nobody knows me.

It cost $5. I just don't want people to keep telling me I got you. Just say it. I think this is actually good. Say, hey, I don't fuck with you. I think this is good. If this becomes a constant thing where you're constantly told that you will be got, and then you don't get got, that's funny. They judge you a little more even Oh

Retail no that would be funny if he doubled the price and said like got you like I'd be like Beast you got me But it was just I'm like why they saying it Was very funny cuz it was like two fucking things with alcohol. Another two things with alcohol and a Coke. It was like really obvious what shrink is mind. He could have waved the Coke.

Easily. It's like $4. Full price. Chose not to. So I got fucking destroyed all weekend. That's really the last of that kind of segment.

Did everyone everyone got Crocs? Do you think we'll Anyone who wanted them? Do you think we'll go to Genesis forever? No. Do you have a way into this weekend? As Do you think we'll go to Genesis forever? No. Do you want to wait

into this weekend? As long as it exists. I left this weekend thinking yes. Really? I think as long as it exists. Yeah. But I mean

you might skip a year here and there. Like you can go you can go this year. Yeah he went. I mean he went but he had to skip most of it. But I think even

I think when you have a wedding in the middle of Genesis and you go that's more important than like that's dedication. Josh didn't go because of Kaylin's wedding. That's like the real deal. I think you going to the top eight is a big deal.

I don't think it's a big deal. I think that's some fucking young Pharaoh. Oh, please bow down, Deppin. I had a shoot that was planned for nighttime and I swapped to daytime just to watch Melee. And I also planned the shoot in the Bay just so I could go to Genesis. You know who's the real culprit of all this shit? Of all my problems with you? Cutie Cinderella.

Because she planned the stream rewards? She planned the stream rewards. Before Genesis was announced, I think. Well, whose fault is that? Neither. Cutie Cinderella's fault. I always knew she didn't stand by Melee. It was a tough weekend because it was also NBA All-Star weekend. Oh, if we were playing football together, I would be calling myself QB Cinderella.

Yo. So often. Can I get that out? It was NBA All-Star weekend. I watched the whole thing to see Kai Sinat score. He didn't score one point. Oh, wait. Was he on the team?

He was playing. Blood thought he was on the team. He was the only streamer playing in the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game. Is that why Shannon Travers had to be in front of him? And he didn't score? He didn't score. In the Celebrity Game? Well, so, he didn't get a lot of minutes.

He didn't get a lot of minutes. I think fucking Burger Yen scores in the Celebrity Game. Did Burger Yen post up? And he's a statue. His team did not fuck with him. Oh. Who was on Kai's team? Zipper, can you pull up Kai Sanat?

What was he in the celebrity game? Dude, he's wide open in the paint. He's going, guys, literally exactly what you're doing, and then they don't pass him, and he goes, dang it, dang. He was a dang nabbit throw star. Not again. I mean, I can't

say shit, because I cannot play any sports at all but it's a funny image in my mind they didn't give him the ball once

who else was on this thing wait this is lit okay ice in his veins it was a bunch of NFL players this is such the beat yup

I need that guy at my melee tournament dude this is by the way that's T-Jazz this is the yeah T-Jazz was there he's a YouTuber he was the highest score dude he's so much better than everyone is the... Yeah, T-Jazz was there. That's unfair.

He was the highest scorer. That dude is so much better than everyone, right? Who the fuck is T-Jazz? He's like, you know the professor? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's the new generation's professor. Oh. He was the top scorer.

There's also Puka, the NFL wide receiver. Flash. So there's like actually athletes. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of athletic people here. And they were like, we're getting...

Michael Parsons was playing and he was just... He got the most minutes. Anyway, yeah, there's a lot of athletic people here, and they were like, we're getting Michael Parsons was playing, and he was just, he got the most minutes. Anyway, this is, uh. Oh, it's presented by Ruffles. Yeah, they had a Ruffle four-point line. Ruffles. No way. I'm ribbed for her pleasure. So they, the whole fucking thing was a sponsor for Ruffles, and the floor is made of LEDs.

And they had a Ruffle four-point line that was like, and they could like do shit like this where they make it real colorful. That's a stage. At one point, they did this thing where they would make the three-point line move, and it would wiggle. That's beast. It was not beast.

That sounds fun. It sounded like a cringe sponsor activation a streamer would have to do. I stuck through this whole thing. It was a tough watch. Stephen A. and Shannon Sharp? They were the captains. Oh, that's so funny. Okay, as cool as the technology is, it is so hard to watch. Stephen A and Shannon Sharp? They were the captains. Oh, that's so funny. Okay, as cool as the technology is, it is

so hard to watch. It is. It's so saturated. I can't see anything. Dude, is Stephen A. Smith on the sidelines in the coach jacket just screaming and shit? Yeah. Actually, yeah. They look like they're in a video game. On paper, this sounds awesome. I mean, it wasn't bad per se. I feel

like if you remove the sponsorship thing, it would have been just better to watch. It does say Ruffles NBA All-Star Celebrity Game. Yeah. Title sponsor. We call that in the business, guys, a title sponsor. Because that was crunch time slime. Oh, it's crunch time.

It was crunch time. Like the crunch of a Ruffles chip. Exactly. I have so many funny things to say at a Ruffles basketball game. Yeah. It would never stop. Dude, I think you and me would be some good commentators Here's the ruffles basketball game, please first of all fill the kool-aid to the top second of all

Can you invite me in slime to cast prevent? We will do it no charge. You see the streamer words drama which one fill me up with your drama fill me up with your hot with your cream or drama I want it I want it I want it I want it all tell me

now so at the creamer awards there was a award for best minecraft streamer

oh shit they still play that game and niachu nikki presented the award right and she goes up award for best Minecraft streamer. Oh shit. And Nia Chu, Nikki presented the award. Right. And she goes up and she says Minecraft is so poggers. I'm paraphrasing. And this year we have a minor award. Sorry.

A major award for you. Something like that. Okay. And you guys can rest assured all the nominees this year are good people. Yeah. And basically takes a little jab at Dream. Right. Minor award.

Oh, she did the correction? Yes. Oh, so that was verbatim. Intentional. Whoops, minor. And then that was that. And then announced the nominees and Quackity wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's also funny. It makes sense. But it's funny to have her do that joke, not say Dream, and then Dream instantly goes like, hey. Who's that about? Hey, don't talk about, well, maybe it's not me though. You know what? You shouldn't make fun of people. It is a self-report to,

you know, complain about this joke. However, there is someone who went on twitter and complained about this joke then that person was small ant because the nominees this year are foolish quackity tina and uh the selbit and last year's foolish quackity tina and small Small Ant. So he was like, this year? And then he tweeted out he's like, nominees from last year, it's all the same. Nominees from this year, it's all the same. And he's like, this year? He's the only outlier.

It was obviously a thing about Dream. But he was like, it's actually maybe about me. Are we... What are we doing? What are we doing, man? You take this conversation and you show it to Slime

a couple years ago and you're like, and it's like, what are you talking about? Why are you doing this? Are you okay? What are you... Who cares what

small ant fucking thinks? I liked it. Who fucking cares? I liked it when he did... Am I losing my mind? When he did the sharpeners? I mean, look,

I think you're sharpening the pencil stuff. Slime goes up right after he like, he like takes his papers and hits him on the desk. I think that small ant is a pedophile.

Uproarious applause. The heroine roars. He goes like, thank you. Steps off the stage. Does Cody Schwab winning matter? To me? No So you're saying nothing matters No I'm asking you if it matters

What do you think? I'm not saying I think a lot of things matter But you're the one who's saying It don't It's all slop And I'm asking if Cody winning matters Yeah

Does Cause I think melee is fucking hard to play. Cody apologized to me for winning. I don't talk to him a lot. That's crazy. He apologized to me for winning because he beat a moist mogul. And he was like, sorry, you didn't get to

have your winner. I literally looked back at him and I'm like, I don't work there. I get this a lot too. Oh, that's your boy Moki up there. A moist jersey boy. And I'm like, hey, that's your boy. That's your boy Moki up there, like a moist Jersey boy. And I'm like, hey, listen, I... I hate to break it to you.

I hate to break it to you. I don't do anything. Is that your boy Moki? Oh, he is. But they're saying it in that way. I was like, don't get me wrong, Cody. I was cheering for anyone but you. But what you think I'm upset about is not true.

All right, follow up. Dog fucks up the dice. I think it's harder to win Genesis than it is to be the Minecraft streamer of the year. No way. Okay, is it harder to win Genesis? Or is it harder to win streamer of the year? Statistically? Or like in terms of...

But there's a lot more streamers than there are Melee players. If somebody started right now after listening to this, who would achieve it first? Streamer of the Year. Because you can't win Melee without playing for, like, ten years. I actually, yeah, I think Streamer of the Year. I think that, I think that, like, someone would be able, if all these people were trying, right? You have to assume that in this, like, scenario, everyone starts trying. Yeah. able some if all these people were trying right you have to assume that in this like scenario everyone starts trying yeah i think like for streamer the year someone could learn to understand

like public opinion algorithms how to catch on trends how to collaborate in the right ways and like could one person could emerge from that and make that happen in one year i can't i think for like genesis why not in one year maybe not in a year in a shorter amount of time someone can do that how long do you time it would take you to win Genesis. How long do you think it would take for the streamer? Cause so many would fail. What's your estimate for the streamer then the estimate for Genesis? Minimum?

Streamer of the year, I bet you could do it in... Three years. Three years, yeah. Cause you gotta let everyone else, you gotta let the old heads get theirs. And then for Melee, I feel like the bare minimum is like five. Yeah, I thought five too. What was Zayn's? Zayn was five.

Zayn won Shine after playing for four and a half years. Four and a half? And it's harder now. And it's harder than it's ever been. Is it harder than it's ever been? Yes. They look like some dog ass out there. What?

That's what you think? I thought everyone except for Amsa and Zayn, when they started playing their set, looked like dog ass. The only dog ass I thought looked terrible was Wizzy. The 3-0s were vivacious. One player in that scenario is playing really well. I guess maybe becoming Streamer of the Year requires more luck, though. And so you could argue it's harder because of that.

I do think if you dedicated your life to either, there's a higher chance you get Genesis. Yeah, because it's based on the merits of the skill involved. Whereas streaming, you could put all your time and effort into becoming streamer of the year, but you could just not make it still. That's a good point. You need more, a broader set of skills to become a streamer of the year than Genesis because you need to like you could be one of the best streamers ever on paper but like have terrible fucking vibes and no one

fucks with you and you're broke with no emotion you also could like lose one year and then you never get there again I don't know how I don't know how data accurate this is but my vibe feeling is there's more variance year to year of who the popping streamers are than variance at top eight of melee. Like top eight of Genesis every year is like a similar group of people. Most of the time. Whereas the, the, the,

who's the big streamer this year seems to fluctuate a lot every year. So you think it's easier to break through in the stream? I just think there's, there's more likelihood of someone new winning it. That's why I'm, that's where I'm coming from. When I'm like, I think that someone could emerge in one of these years

if everyone was trying for the same thing. That's what I think is harder is because you could be top eight at Genesis 10 years in a row. This will be it. But you probably can't be a top eight streamer for 10 years in a row. We'll put this to the test.

The only people who can do that. Let me switch to Melee right now. Anthony, Anthony, we're going to get Melee on it. We're going to get Anthony on Melee full time. No, I want to do the streamer one. No, no, he does the streamer thing. I do the Melee thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because to get melee on it. We're going to get Anthony on melee full time. No, I want to do the streamer one. He does the streamer thing, I do the

melee thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I did the streamer thing. You quit streaming. We know my streamer set. You play melee 12

hours a day for the next five years. Your companies collapse. Yeah. You're actually the perfect subject because we could only use you.

Yeah. And we could just do well he did this in this much time. I could easily become streamer. I would start my melee.

Do you believe that? Oh yeah. 100% yes. What would you do? And we could just do well he did this in this much time. I could easily become streamer I would start my melee. Oh, yeah 100% yes, what would you do? I would do whatever anyone else does but better Okay, right let's go over that no, okay For real I would just see what everyone else did and I would do it but better because I'm sure you wouldn't do That's not true. You do balls a three but better would do it but better because some shit you wouldn't do that's not true you would do balls three but better would do it but funnier why would you you wouldn't do it all and better do you think that you are just better than everyone I think I'm funnier than everyone and I think I'm able to I think I have I the years on me are able to identify strengths and weaknesses and if I wanted to if I wanted to I fucking could and i know i sound pathetic i that's good that's good you know that oh yeah i think you can all capture i know my haters i love hearing you can't capture an audience uh you don't think so not the size of an audience

you need for streamer of the year because i think you're not a young man that's okay that is the one nerf you're too old i'm too old and i think that's actually fair no maybe i can't i think you're too out of touch. I think Northern Lion can do it. You don't think Northern Lion can do it? I don't think so. Zipper says no. Streamer of the Year?

It's a young person's game. The Germa? Legacy. He did win Legacy. He could maybe win. Well, age is not a factor here's the thing i guess it's not age it's the ability to tap into the youth to connect with taps into the gay youth the youth that's gay you know what i think i'm realizing as i'm muscling through this conversation is that when i go when you come back from things like genesis and it's like real human beings and i'm

like touching the earth and the grass and I'm playing a game that I love. And I'm like, and it's all the things I like have loved now for like 10 years or whatever. And then it's like returning to the slop world. It just seems so far away and plastic and weird compared to the reality, the fun reality of something like melee or something you know what i mean and that's like that's my default state is this jaded slop hater does streaming not which i think is right like going to the going to the stream stream rewards it's fun because we get to hang out with a bunch of people that we like and like talk to them and you know a good portion of them at least and and spend time with them in the same way that you just did at genesis does that not

take away from this idea of it being slop filled yeah uh if the people that i like i think are such a small handful there and it's not like i hate people it's like there are people i enjoy seeing but like the idea of what the stream rewards is versus the idea of what like Something like Genesis is is just so much more important feeling to you When I was a Genesis I was like walking around I think I like randomly had this thought of like I was like damn chillin dude was just playing melee in 2002 But I was like that's great Like and like and he still is like part of the melee community and I was like thinking about PP and like all these different players

You've like been around for a super long time and I thought about my life and I was like, what he still is like part of the melee community. And I was like thinking about PP and like all these different players who've like been around for a super long time. And I thought about my life and I was like, what am I doing? I'm like, well, I'm playing less and less melee. I don't really go to events anymore. A lot of people who I meet here are like, are you going to anything else this year? And I'm usually like, no, I'll see you next Genesis. And I was thinking about it and I had a moment where I was like, I could do this shit. Right.

I was like, I could, I could do this shit forever. I could go to the venue. I can play melee till 5am and I can do this shit forever I could go to the venue I could play melee till 5 a.m and I could do that till I'm 40 and I could that could be my you know if I have a podcast that's important it just feels right yeah of course but but of course I have that I have that like huge privilege right but I'm like I could I want this shit forever main shout out Drake uh whereas if I was at the streamer awards as cool as an opportunity is to be there and it's like cool like you know,

the amount of people I've gotten to meet through all this stuff. I'm not thinking the same thing about that. I'm not being like, I want that shit forever. I'm just, it's just like, cool. It was like,

cool. This is happening. I'm excited to see everyone. And then it's fleeting and it's over. But Genesis, when it's, when it leaves, I'm like,

man, there's like a hole in your heart. I miss that. Yeah. That's the best. And it feels really good. I was kind of, ah, y'all dogging

streamer awards no no no it doesn't have to do with the event it's a complete comparison this is about the idea of what our lives have become specifically to us in contrast to what one doesn't offer which isn't necessary to make i think that this is the exact opposite for all the people there i think that they are like living their dream and that's great it's the only it's the only compared the's great it's the only compared the only reason it's being compared is because they're on the same weekend i think so it was like a decision right yeah i think i also i really wanted to be at the stream i wanted to do the interviews because of how much fun i've had the past couple years going and being with

people in the same way that genesis is this for, there's a lot of people in our lives that we've met through Smash that come to this event because it's the biggest event of the year. And it's your opportunity to connect with these people that you otherwise wouldn't in the rest of your life because there's not enough. You cannot like allot the time to like meet and connect with all these people, but we get to all come to this one place. And Stream Rewards is special for the same reason for the for streaming and i want to be there for that reason because we've met and made so many friends in that group as well and i dude and it's so much fun just talking and catching up with people and being around everybody in the same way when we go out to like you know maybe there'll be like an offline tv party and a lot of people go um But I think Melee, it's like in Melee, it's like Genesis is all,

I feel like that Genesis is kind of all that's left for that now. I feel like it used to be Evo and then maybe for people on the East Coast, it's like kind of SmashCon. But I think I've had this feeling this year of I have so many people in my life and I've known these people for so long now

and people have changed so much it's it's actually crazy to see like people get older and like move move on to like a lot of people are parents now and like this one event a year is all is what we'll probably have together for you know maybe i'll only see reno once a year at that event for the next decade though and i hope i hope i do and i i i really that made me really really happy this weekend because i was thinking a lot about that i don't think i feel too dissimilarly about meeting streamers who i like communicate with like c-dog right it's your chance to fucking hang you're a little bit more ingrained i think that makes sense for you yeah i think you're thinking about streamer awards like the like of the person who bought a ticket or got invited for the first time what do you mean oh like the you talk about like

the dream oh like a dream of going there or whatever like the normal person not a streamer oh i was no i was talking about like streamers i think like a lot of them like i think i think streaming and what they get to do for a living and the people they meet is much more closer like their melee of like this is my community this is my rock community of people that like without that i don't know what i'd be doing i don't feel that connection to youtube and streaming but i do to melee it's kind of nice it's because especially because stream rewards is hitting it's hit the third year now so it's becoming a staple event right i think as soon as you when you have the first one or the second one i think there's this idea that it's like not as embedded culturally it's the only dope career it might go

yeah and it might go away but you now cuties built this thing that will be here for the foreseeable future that all of these people will get to have the same like memories and experiences about that like we have about genesis next year she'll have third strike which is yeah yeah and i heard stream rewards is adding third strike next year it's gonna make sunday so long though my job i think as a as a human if i want to grow is to when i come back from this that element to this one which is my normal life is to not look at slop as as i call it pejoratively like the people who who make slop as i call it are still human beings and i have to like calibrate that quicker than i normally do because it usually takes me like talking to a human being and be like

oh right god i forget it's not slop machine it's just a person right and that's what i'm trying to do uh but but i came right back from genesis and i like, who cares, Smolin? Who cares? And that's, you know. He wasn't there. That's crazy. All right. Thank you all for watching The Yard. We'll be back for, actually, we're not doing a Primo ever again.

The Primo is, yeah. The podcast is actually on. The Primo is canceled. Let's do this guy, baby. Maybe we're live. Back it up. Okay, bye, man. Back it up. Bye.