The Yard - Ep. 138 - Women's History Month (ft. LilyPichu)

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by LilyPichu! They discuss Lily's skill in TEKKEN, swapping The Yard members with OTV members, and Lily's Brimstone impression.

Did you cut your ass down, Aiden? You're rushing. You're rushing today. You're a rushing guy. It would be super, super random if we had a guest today, right? The chair's here. But the chair sometimes just appears for... You're a rushing guy. It would be super, super random if we had a guest today, right? It would be super random. The chair's here. But the chair sometimes just appears for...

Shut the fuck up for a second. Hey, for... Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut up. For Women's History Month, we wanted to make sure we had a woman every single week. One woman. One woman.

One woman every month. And we don't know if we'll continue this but for our first week we have a woman There's no way was the shock of her going down the Coffee's hot It's ice in there Probably probably should sit the mic up first. I thought we were going to get into a McDonald's lawsuit. Jesus.

Wait, you gotta... We're off to a terrible start. We'll cover. You see, chivalry is alive. So I was at the damn woman's store the other day. Yeah, buying up all the... Oh shit! They got all kinds of bows. Damn woman store the other day. Yeah, buying up all the... Oh, shit. They got all kinds of bows.

Bows? Not like bow and arrows. What else do you buy? I think the guy store, purely. It's an odd section because you can get confused. A lot of women come in the guy store looking for the bow, but all they see are ancient weapons. Just tell me which one it is and I can do it.

I don't think... I'm not going to tell a woman she can't yell. Okay, just do that. Just leave it. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's got to be close, though.

Are you rolling? That looks terrible. Am I rolling? Are we rolling? We're rolling. Okay, hold up. Thank you so much for inviting me. Oh, now she puts on her...

Oh, my God, guys. When Ludwig asked me to be our guest on the yard, I was so happy at first. I remember beginning, right? He invited me and then he was like, never mind, Tarek's gonna come. They don't know about that. No, we do. You told us and the audience. At this point, you know, I was looking really forward to it.

I was really excited. I even told Michael about it. I'm like, oh my god, Ludwig finally invited me to the yard. And then like right before, he's like, just kidding. Sorry, Tarek's coming. You can't come pretty much right so i was like really hurt but then i realized that you know i won't let this get in the way of our friendship how does it how does it feel to be a a second string friend i i

just like i think i'm kind of used to it because you know how like big he is and it's like even a miracle that he invites me to stuff oh my god that, that's how we feel. That's how we feel. I know that's how you guys feel. Okay. Who do y'all think are the first stringers? First stringers. Carl Jacobs. C-Dawg VA. Yeah, C-Dawg VA, 100%.

He's the first stringer. You asked this as if that we had no answers. That's LeBron James. I just wanted to know for myself. What's a stringer? Like first string, second string. What's that? Like string of combos and tekken? It's jargon.

You have to stop. Make it make sense in tekken terms. This is just her hyper fixation of the mug. I do have hyper fixations. CdogVA is like his Arslan Ash. Okay, alright. You keep cooking. I was the goat? Arslan ash

He came out of nowhere he lives in Asia Yes, no well he's he's like my he's like the my main and then you're like Kuma. That sucks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Arslan Ash is his bane. Arslan Ash is a human being who plays the game. Yeah. Wait, what? From Pakistan, yeah. He's really good. He put Pakistan on the map. Oh, he's not a character in the game?

No. It's actually crazy. If I watch the documentary on Arslan Ash. I thought Arslan Ash was like one of the... Aiden talks about this all the time. You know what would be nice, actually? He's part of the second string. I don't listen.

When we start talking about video games, you could just come show up to the podcast and you could sit in Ludwig's seat. And then we could all talk about what happened in a different game that isn't Melee. Let's not pretend that LilyPichu has a higher video game knowledge than me. I have lots of video game knowledge. I-

We could quiz you guys right now. So good at Pokemon Puzzle League. You guys know about that? That's actually a tough game, no, no, for real. Tetris Attack? Yeah, yeah, yeah, You know Tafelkins? What what? He's one of the characters You can play

Swing and miss Swing and miss That's the correct answer To that question There's a right answer And she Fucking nailed it Lily I have a question for you

Oh I love it When they're like I have a question for you No this is a And the answer is yes Okay it's not a yes It's a good question Okay I have all your money

Yeah That's cool Can you do a Can you do 12 back And the answer is yes. Okay. It's not a yes or no question. Okay. I have all your money. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. It's just yes. Can you do a, can you do 12 backflips in a row? She could. And prove it right now. No, I don't.

Okay. Well then the answer was yes. So you lied. Oh, that was the, oh, I see. You understand. So don't do that. But what was your initial question? My initial question was, do you play on a, how do you play Tekken?

Hitbox. You play on Hitbox. Why did someone say keyboard I used to the first day I played I played on a keyboard okay I was cramping my wrist a lot first day yeah I was speed running arthritis so you played for one day on keyboard and our source who told us what you play just knows about one day you play Tekken one like sliver of time ever it was like a lot of hours okay and then Scar got me a hitbox yeah I saw you playing on that and I was You play Tekken. One like sliver of time ever. It was like a lot of hours. Okay.

Yeah, and then Scar got me a kit box. Yeah, I saw you playing on that and I was like, okay, she's moving. I was making sure. I was curious. Was that your question? That wasn't my question. Did that answer the question? Yeah, 100%. Awesome. I play on a normal stick. Dude, I'm not using the word anymore, but I want to say it every time you talk. Why? I'm really happy to be here. Why do you let him give you so much shit? What is this? He doesn't give me shit. He calls you a bitch every day. I don't because I stopped using it. Nothing he says hurts. Does that make sense?

It's like a puppy yapping. And you're like, okay, settle down. She's so much meaner than I am and I feel like people... You call me a bitch all the time. I start using it. On your stream in front of thousands of people. No, I said Ryan, bitch. Dude, he says it on this podcast when you're not around.

I'm like, I don't even know you guys hung out. That's how you know I'm real. People tell me on my stream chat too, yeah, a little bit culture like this on the podcast. I'm like, oh, that's cute. I'm like living right free in his mind. But I don't talk about him like that on my podcast. I'm like, oh, that's cute. I'm like living room free in his mind. But I don't talk about him like that on my podcast or anything, right?

That's because I don't get no kills I can have. Anyway. I feel like you have a misconception that I wanted to clear up with the viewers and the people here in this room. That I'm not a bitch. That I'm actually a very kind, empathetic, charismatic person

with a sick sense of humor and often misunderstood and godlike a Tekken for a beginner. I was going to say the opposite, that people think you're nice, but you're actually... Are you fucking serious? I'm not going to say the word mean. I'm not mean. Vicious. I'm not...

Evil. I tell him, like, you can use the safe word, right? Cause I tell him like, if the banter's too much for you, like use it, right? Damn. But he doesn't use it. I have a safe word with our friend Josh, it's grapefruit. What's your safe word with Ludwig? I think it's pineapple.

It's pineapple. Cause it's always pineapple. It's always a fruit with many syllables. I think it's just, I don't use the word pineapple often, you know. What? Really? It wasn't come up. When's it come up? When you're talking about sponge We used to have a code word in case we were getting swatted which was hey does anyone want Panda Express

Because we knew we'd never order it so someone asked you what's smart Yeah, I think the ones I haven't came up we forgot yeah, we forgot we got swatted Instead cutie was just like, ah! Ah! You're like, I'm used to this. That's a good... You guys have a community community in my old house? Yeah, in my old house, yeah.

But five times. Oh, shit. Five times? Maybe four. Holy shit. Not four. One of them. One was just a police checkup

and three were swat. That's scary. Oh, shit. I remember. What do you guys usually talk about here? Like, you just shoot the shit? Butts and fucking crud and poop.

We talk about gears, tools, a lot of moisture. You ever notice how there's, like, a lot of dirt kind of in the world? In the world, there's a lot of dirt. We like soot. So mostly that. We have a 30-minute Michael Reeves section, too. Oh, I love that. She's back. We have a 30-minute Michael Reeves section, too. Oh, I love that one.

She's back. What's your favorite thing about Michael? Oh, God, where do I even begin? One thing. Maybe you have to pick one favorite thing. Sense of humor. Really? It's your favorite ever.

If he didn't have a sense of humor, would you fuck with him? Like, would you even fuck with that guy? That's the way he worded it. It was really weird. the way he worded it. It was really weird. He's like, you're not dating? Like he's a guy and you play basketball.

If he didn't have that sense of humor, would you hit him with a sick dap every now and then? Would you show him mad love in the streets? Is he a childlike wonder?

Can I say something weird about Lily with Michael what she really likes that he boxes really she's like

and she's like I want him to box again and I'm like in my mind I'm like no you don't like that's dangerous you should be like

no I don't want you to box I like the idea of it more than the actual like if I actually saw him get like punched a lot and stuff I would cry probably

you just like the idea of him beating on Graham Stephan's ass. Yeah, but he looks so cool, right? Yeah, I mean, he does look really cool. I like when he goes up against soon-to-be-retired YouTubers. And puts them out for good.

He's like, what's up, Tom Scott? Let's fucking dance. Michael, go fight that old man in the park. He did say he would only box again if he got to box with Gary Vee. Yeah, Gary Vee. Oh, really? if he got to box with Gary Vee. Yeah, Gary Vee. Oh, really? I saw that, actually.

Gary Vee is so old. Yeah, he has a fetish, bro. What? Michael, he has a fetish of beating on old people, I think. Who doesn't? Honestly. No, I'm not hating. Let's be real.

Let's go hit up the wall. No, keep going. She goes, yeah, because she's so old. What? I swear. Bro, that's funny. That's funny. I'm pointing out you made a funny joke. Oh, is it?

I wasn't trying to make a joke. Oh. It's even funnier then. It's even funnier then. Let's hit up the Walgreens and get to fucking work, dude. Well, after this group activity, we go to Walgreens and we beat down some elders. We just go to the fucking pharmacy. I don't know if we should.

Why are we just taking Michael? We don't have to take the thing. What are you talking about? I feel like he'd want to beat you up. We should call up Michael. You should fight him. I'm 33. I know, that's why he's on.

How old is Michael? 26. Damn, he's such a boy. Aiden's age. I could, I can't fight Michael. I just have too many pounds on him. You'd have to get really fat. Do you would be funny fat Michael? Can you feed him and feed him

Came back from Japan and he was sad cuz he gained like a bit of weight cuz he ate so much no so nice We're gonna gym again. He feels like any he can get a bigger side. Yeah, I feel like he being bigger though in my mind I feel like you just take anything so if you got really fat he keeps getting bigger Are you guys sad? Yeah I feel like He keeps getting bigger though In my mind I feel like He'd just tank anything So if he got really fat He'd be like Yo I'm fat now He would do that

If he fucked up I'd be curious about Physical health I would love to fight With honor and respect I'll fight you Not you A 180

Because I'm a woman A 180 pound Michael Reeves You wouldn't fight her During women's history That's actually fucked up. That is fucked up, dude. That's fucked up. I would fight you if you were 180 pounds.

I could get there. You sure about that, white boy? You want to go down that road? What would your plan be to get there if you had a month? Ooh, I would get really high and eat a lot. Yeah. Probably. What is that?

Don't you already do that? That's the ominous. No, I don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't. Yeah, sorry. You don't eat food.. Yeah. Probably. What is it? Don't you already do that? No, I don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't. Yeah, sorry. You don't eat food. You only get high.

Yeah. Forgot. You've been playing a lot of Tekken, huh? I am obsessed. You're obsessed. Like you said, I have hyper fixations on stuff. Why didn't you choose an honest character?

I'm hyper fixated on getting money. It's true. He is. That's cool. Thank you for the information. Now I know more about you. Why didn't you pick an honest character um do you not have love in your heart lily because her name was lily and i'm narcissistic i told you why she because she does the same fucking thing or guess which character i play and then everyone goes uh i don't know like like fucking and then i don't

know a single type of character so i can't follow ash she our son. Oh, yeah, she's like no so obvious and they don't get it She goes it's Lily and they go oh This happened to me she did this you haven't an off-brand yeah, I guess who I play I was like King. I know two type Titan characters like no Trying to make conversation. Okay. It's like a cool, cute little opener. And then we can talk about Tekken and stuff. Well, I don't know anything about Tekken.

I didn't know that. If you want to talk about conversation, see what you said to me. Isn't this insane? Why are we doing this? This is what we do. Why wouldn't we? This is what we do. You're on trial.

I feel like I'm on trial. Once we learn that you're excited to come on the show, it kind of just turns into this. I asked you. We're misogynistic, so we're starting antagonistic, and we're trying to get to a place of peace. I asked you on Monday, when you play Tekken, do you play with heart and soul and honor? You said yes. Why? I said, just making sure.

Is that your first DM ever? I'm really excited to see how this turns on you right now. And I said, just making sure. I ran into one too many horongs, who is a fucking pain in the ass to play against. You can't call women that, bro. That's funny. Not during this month. And then she said, let's hope you're better at Tekken than Valorant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Like you saw what did you say? I'd like to

Lead him on Twitter Did you say something about like that's how I bond with people see let's hope you're better at taking the denval on ha ha ha ha ha He's right about that in caps lock and another ha ha ha ha ha then I'm kidding a use human to bridge social gaps I apologize to bridge social gaps, I apologize. You cut that part out? It's crazy. It's not in my DMs, I swear to God. It's not in there. It just goes straight to you.

It is not there for him. I swear to God. Did you delete it? No, I didn't delete it. You can't delete it. Yeah, you can. Oh, you can delete other people's DMs? Yeah, but they don't delete.

I can't believe you would delete my DM to make me look worse. Can you send me a DM that says three DMs? One that says I'm, one that says not, third one says gay. Okay, this doesn't backfire anyway, right? Anyway, uh so look I think that you have a lot to work on as like a person

What better months to rewrite history? Wow! We're gonna go take back what's ours. From all the women. Jesus Christ! By the end of this, I do want you to tell me who you think the most misogynist person is in this room. By the end. Don't decide right now.

I went to the women's store and bought everything for the women inside. What about the women outside? Check bought everything for the women inside. Well, what about the woman outside checkmate atheist? Yeah, I didn't buy anything for the woman outside That's probably more why do you want to come on the show do you even know like is I think you guys are really cool Sorry my voice went really I didn't like the inflection That was genuine, but she's overthinking how to say it genuinely

Yes. Cause I think like I'm afraid that you're gonna think I'm saying it sarcastically right? Right. So I'm trying to say it, hold on Yeah, the pitch of your voice being high there really threw me off. I think you guys are really cool She's, no she's really trying. It's not like we're getting broken up with This is fucked up. She's really trying

No, we can still be friends I think you guys are really cool. Dude, that was like, you need to try that one. That was the bottom. That's what we're saying. Laughing before you even get it out hurts the most. What hurts the most is that she's a voice actor, she can't even fake it. I know, that was me actually faking all three of those.

Okay, sick. I could actually say genuinely failed. You know she made Cutie cry? Why do you, why? Oh my god. Like happy or sad tears? Sad tears. Dude, sad wish?

To be fair, sometimes an airplane flying in the sky will do that as well. That's not your place to say. On Roman's history book. You can't bury everything. Not everything can be buried. It's the first day. It was an accident. What'd you do?

We were doing a double date. It was me Michael cutie No, what's really double day? This is from the double day. Have you made her cry more than once no no everybody was one thought it was New Year's party I Made her cry at New Year's it wasn't I think at that party. It was later on, but I wasn't for the double day Wait, you've been to cry multiple times? No, no, just one time. They were hanging out. And so here's the thing about Lil and Kitty.

They're great people. No, say what you told me. They're really awkward. Yes. Really? Can I explain? Because he said that, right? And he planted that idea in my head.

I'm like, oh my God, we both really are awkward. So I thought I would play into that to, to again bridge the social gap that i feel like sometimes i have with people right to like find a common thing you didn't do that what's your first strategy why would you employ your second strategy you're getting lower on the misogynist list not letting women talk so sit your white ass down listen yeah i had an online stream and i was trying to explain this sort of thing but you know i couldn't explain it properly i think i'm like yeah i know she's awkward you know i'm awkward too blah blah i think she heard that i called her awkward or something and that she thought she was doing well in that social situation but i had called it awkward so that hurt her because she thought she

was doing a good job which she was like it's not like she wasn't doing a good job i'm kind of the mastermind behind this. It's literally because he said, yeah, you guys are both really awkward. I thought that was a cute thing I could latch on to and create this like camaraderie. But no, I just made her fucking cry. And now I felt so fucking bad. Is this like off the clock? Like she went to you and she's like awkward.

It was it was. Well, I don't think she came to me and said that, but it was like it was the New Year's party. And and they both have individually come up to me and be like I like the other person So it's like I think Lily's cute. I think cuties cute I'm like guys we got a great thing going here And then they talk at the New Year's thing and then cuties like she's, I pulled out all the fucking tricks in my bag, which I don't know what that is. She's going to make you a cake.

The talk wasn't bad. But you said, this is your fault somehow. I'm not there for this convo, by the way, because I let women talk without interrupting. This is textbook male manipulation. Think about that. Let me continue manipulating. You know how I used to know that Cutie had a new friend. We all lived together. You go in the kitchen and she'd just be making a cake.

Aw. And you're just like, who's this one for? It's like Pokimane. And I'm like, who has a new friend? That's really cute. Has she made you a cake? No. That's when it gets real.

Okay. Maybe that's the real one. When she makes me a cake, I will draw her back. It'll be like a cute little exchange. And the girls are going to be like, what an awkward cake. Maybe not. Anyway. But you see where, like, my intention was. I 100% see it. Because I kept going up to you the entire night and every time I saw you, I'd be like, you an awkward cake. Can you not? Anyway. But you see where, like, my intention was.

I 100% see it, because I kept going up to you the entire night, and every time I saw you, I'd be like, you are so awkward. Thank you. Thank you. It is so hard to hold a conversation. You are so awkward. She said this so many times. Oh, my God.

I said, okay, but you let- You said you made your girlfriend cry. Go on. You let him run you like this? What is this shit? You already, you said earlier, it's just like a puppy yapping. I don't care. It is. It is. But now he's running you. I don't like this? What is this shit? You already, you said earlier it's just like a puppy yapping, I don't care. It is, it is. But now he's running you, I don't like this. Sometimes even Da Vinci like

gets on my nerve, right? Even he affects me, right? When he pisses on the floor and misses the pad. That's her dog. That's my other dog. I'm so confused for a second. I'm on board now. She's got two dogs. Why did the two guys come to your house and piss on your floor? But yeah.

I was so confused. What's the content creator thing? I think, what do you do to keep Ludwig in check? Because obviously there is an adversarial relationship going on between you two. No, I actually think my relationship with Ludwig is very, like, good. Hmm, okay. Oh, so he calls you a bitch because he likes you. What does that feel like?

You guys keep throwing out this word that I haven't used in, I swear to God, days. But days. Days. I'm pretty sure you I swear to God, days. But days. Days. I'm pretty sure you called me a bitch like last month. Yeah, that was a month ago. And if I was off cigarettes for a month, you'd congratulate me. It's weird how women work. Wow.

Double standards. Oh, my God. Double standards, right? Wow. Every time, I'll like spit all over myself. That's so hard. I get into a call. We'll play Valorant, play some video games or something.

And if it's you and Ludwig in there, it's like a mom and dad at the dinner table. I'm like trying my best in the Valorant game, right? And he's just constantly. Oh, he's miserable. Oh, my God. He's miserable. It's like an act of charity that I invite him, actually, because I know no one else would probably want to play with him.

I can imagine he's hard to play with because if shit doesn't go his way He just starts passive-aggressively being like you just can't push Yes he does that! He does that! Shut up! I don't think pushing was the way I don't think You're stuck in gold like shut up I'm stuck in gold I'm about to hit plat Oh you're about to hit plat

I'm still in gold today. Oh you're about to hit plat. No but I'm gold. How close? She's quit. What rank are you? Gold. The fact that he's in my rank is kinda... We're the three of us are in the same rank. What are you talking about? You think people

see that difference? You think they see like, oh yeah no that's... Dude that guy's gold three? Don't fuck with him, dude. No one says that. It's just gold, you know what I mean? I'm gonna hit plat today, and by the time this comes out, I'm gonna...

It's gonna be defunct. This conversation's gonna be defunct. Do you even do it today? Who do you think wins in a race to platinum in Valorant? You. Yeah. Starting today, playing every day.

Like gold one, you mean? Or Lily. Yeah, from gold one. We'll say from gold one. Okay. Or Lily, but she has the entire Sentinels roster coaching her every day. Oh.

Honestly, like, I can see myself hitting it faster. Coaching? Coaching. You're not playing with her at all. I'm playing with her. You don't play a single life. Don't play a single fucking round. Don't underestimate my hyperfixation.

I would do it. I would have to ask you, are you good at... Well, no, because she had a coach. She did have a... This is a bad This is a bad hypothetical that actually owns her yeah That's what I'm trying to do guys Because you had a coach, but it didn't really come together, but here's the thing though

It did you accomplish your goal did you not specifically the goal is it gold? Yeah, she did it. Wasn't she like really bronze when you started that? Yeah, here's the thing I think she can do it. I think she can do it and I think they can do anything. Here's my theory. Asians, not women. They, them, anyone. Oh my god. Wow.

I think that you the way you interact with Tekken and the fucking drive and the heart and soul you have even though you play Lily as a character.

What is wrong with Lily? What is wrong with Lily? What is wrong with Lily? Oh my god. One, two and the mid kick? Are you kidding me? I have to guess every time after the second jab comes up.

You play a bear. I do play a bear. Is the bear not cheap? No, no, bear's not one of the worst characters. He's honest. Is he honest? Oh yeah. Is he like Bowser?

Is he honest? Is this the most slime shit ever? No, the bear's honest. Pick the honest ass but shitty bear, and then for the rest of your life, be like, oh my, you're placed as a broken character. Dude, if he was really good, I'd be like, I guess he's a bear. I'd play a bear no matter what. Come on. Give me this shit.

Oh, he does love bears. Yes. I guess if you play like one of the worst characters in Tekken, anyone above that is dishonest to you. Which is why you don't like Lily. Thank you very much. Now we understand each other. Let me explain something. The hyper fixation you have on Tekken,

I don't think I've seen that in your Valorant. Like, you don't care. Valorant is the is the is the Gumar. You know what Gumar is? On Women's History Month. It's Italian.

It's Italian. I don't know what that is. I know. Valorant's your Gumar. But Tekken is your wife. So, last year, I played Valorant every day for 12 hours a day.

Wow. So, I did half that, like, because I really wanted to hit gold. But you weren't you didn't improve like why not? You went from bronze to gold. Damn, Si. You guys are the same rank as bronze. I feel like if you play 12 hours a day, you should have gotten better faster, but you didn't. And my question is, I'm not trying to be a dick. He's just saying I'm bad at the video game. But you're way better at Tekken. Like your rank is insane. I'm trying to be a dick. He's just saying I'm bad at the video game. He doesn't believe that. But you're way better at Tekken.

Like, your rank is insane. Like, your progress is insane in Tekken. There's a question here I see now. Okay, I see. I see. We've gotten to the root. I see what he's trying to say. He kept on saying you're so bad at Valorant.

You could never put in time and get better. No, I'm not saying that. No, I'm saying hours a day you should be the same. Why did you improve faster at Tekken over a shorter period of time than Valorant? I get it. Thank you, Aiden. You're like the voice of reason. I'm his translator.

I'm just telling you the truth. FPS is hard. I know. I'm the same. But Tekken is like... Fighting games are harder. Really? Yeah.

Oh, shit. I don't know. Really? I think there's less variables. Yeah, I think overall the game is harder Lily. It was team. It was always the other it was always the teammate Oh, yeah, no, that's in a fighting game. You can only count on yourself, right? You can count on yourself and you skyrocket proof. It was the teammates the entire time. That's that's wild. Yeah I see it. I think this might have been it. That's yeah. No, I see it. I think this might have been it. Yeah, no, I should go solo.

Fuck everyone else. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, fuck friendship. You should go on your lonely shit. You should do a rap album. She does rap. She hurt us. Oh, God.

That was your fault. That was my fault. I wouldn't phrase it that way, too. I don't actually think you guys are as pissed off. Oh, did you still think about that one? What if they said that it really hurt us? What if I said that one What if it said that It really hurt us What if I said that What if I said I cried

Like actually You used the word pineapple And said hey That actually really hurt I would say Stop being a bitch Wow I'm joking

No no no I did not If it genuinely Of course I would Like you know Say sorry It was such a beast line When men's history month

Rolls around We have that It's the other months I'm expecting An edible arrangement On my front doorstep If you can handle that Men's History Month rolls around. We have that? It's the other months. I'm expecting an edible arrangement on my front doorstep. If you can handle that. Oh, yeah. As soon as April ends.

Got baseballs in it. Baseballs in some bucket. I want those edible baseballs. It's got a DeWalt drill. Why'd you say you got a problem with me? Because you said Lily played on keyboard. keyboard oh and she just doesn't but the fact that she played for one day on keyboard it's like i just thought you thought a leverless controller was a keyboard i just have never watched um which i thought was annoying a tech and stream ever yeah and so the only time i knew about her

tech and play was when she told me I was playing Valorant. Okay. Hm. Well I'm not mad at you anymore. I don't want to play this game. I tell him to. I say you should get on and be fun and then he's like, no, I don't want to! And then he goes, whaaaaat? I don't do that. I've been solo queuing Valorant and hating my life. Aw, do you miss playing with friends? It's kind of fun, right? The five stacks late at night with Goomy and like Toast and Yvonne. Are you serious? It was good until you said Toast.

They have a Goomy team. You don't like playing with Toast? What's wrong with playing with Toast? What's wrong with playing with Toast? He's tough to play with. Yeah, stay on the... Toast, well, I don't mind playing with Toast.

I mind when I play with Toast and Yvonne and you somewhat. Because everything you guys are applying to me, Toast is like a hundred times worse. I'm like the boss in the tutorial. He's the boss of the final game. Because what will happen is a Vaughn or Lily will inevitably fuck up.

Because they just get bored. I think this is why they fuck up. Halfway through the game, they just get bored. I can't even like argue with that. I get bored. So after they get bored, they'll do something dumb. They'll push. They'll just whatever. And they'll die. And bored they'll do something dumb they'll push they'll they'll just whatever and uh and they'll die and then and they'll realize oh fuck oh i'm so sorry uh man i shouldn't

push the rain is uh mount and then toast will be like don't be sorry be better and then the vibes change whoa that's cool it's crazy i'm like we're used to it? I know but but for me It's like I'm hanging out at my friend's house, and they're fighting with their parents dude. Yeah I feel like being a woman is just putting up with guys being mean to you and being like it's fine Toast is guys Yeah, he is the meanest one here and did say she could never move. Oh, yeah Well, it's fucking if I had to be like nice to like not nice. It would be actually you guys are both pretty Very nice. Ah, then you what did I do? You deleted my DM and me me looks

I did not do it the history posted on the TV for everyone as a laugh, but I swear to God. Well, you didn't get that message? Because I remembered. No, I saw it. I don't know where it went in my DMs, but I remembered saying it. That's why I brought it up. You read it, guys. Right?

You read it. You gotta trust me. And none of your friends know you like I know you. I'm trying to. I'm trying. Really hard to believe you. Do you think we know you better than your closest friends? No.

What kind of question is that? I feel like that was a good question. That was a good question. Honest question to ask. And you kind of threw it back in his face. And I feel bad for him now. Ask me any question about you. Okay.

What's my blood type? You can bink this. You can bink this. Just based off of personality, you can get this. Oh, negative. A. Yeah, I thought it was A. personality. You can get this Oh negative So boring oh my god, you know I was in the blood store. I didn't look at all I got pad see you beef No no boba. It hurts my stomach. He's actually turned your blood type on you.

This is incredible. I was going to say, he twisted it so well. Is he going down the vice-reigning role? I'm so sorry for asking you that question. That was on me. How could I? I'm the bad person here. Women's History Month is a learning month as well.

I've got to ask you three questions. Oh, my God. Okay. We ask every guest these questions. This is a learning month as well. I gotta ask you three questions. Oh my god, okay. We ask every guest these questions. Okay.

Yeah, this one, I have a good idea what her answer might be. The guy from the other room's laughing already. Are you cut or uncut? What the fuck? You're foreskin, Lily. Oh, um. We ask every guest this. As if on your penis.

I don't have a penis. Okay, second question. Second question. Is it easier to take care of one or nine dogs? One dog? Explain. Why do you think that? Because one dog is for sure easier to take care of than nine dogs, right?

You think so? But the nine would take care of each other. It's stupid, I guess. What? What? The nine dogs would. You've asked every guest these questions? Yes, I've asked every guest these questions.

Have they ever told you, like, never mind, go on. You've asked every guest these questions? Yes, I've asked every guest these questions. Have they ever told you, like, never mind, go on. Is Dr. Mario a real doctor? Um, yeah. Why do you think that? She's the first human to say those three answers like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we asked the scientists, so I went for the rest of my life. Why do you think Dr. Mario's a real doctor?

Well, obviously, if he weren't a real doctor, he wouldn't have a doctor in front of his name. Hey, it's me, Dr. Slime. This is your doctor he wouldn't have a doctor in front of his name Hey, which means, Dr. Slime This is your girl Then you're a doctor Whoa! Welcome That's all it takes Doctor

Alright you've passed You passed the test, that's so fun So Women's History Month, so exciting right? What are you guys gonna do this month to show your appreciation for women in the past? What would you like me to do? Is that bad to ask? Okay. Yes.

Yes, queen. How much? Yes, queen. Oh, or lose to me in the Tekken tournament. No, I can't. I can't do that. I'm looking forward to that. But God, if I lose to you or Toast.

Toast is not bad. I know. But wait. You're both not bad. It's scary. What rank are you right now? Yellow or orange? I'm yellow too. Yellow too. But wait. You're both not bad. It's scary. Wait, what rank are you right now? Yellow or orange? I'm yellow too. Yellow too. But I don't play a lot of matchmaking. Is that low? That's like bronze, silver-ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, what are you? I'm orange, which is one above- well it's still silver. Orange is good. Red's the- Red is when it starts getting like, good, good, good. You play nice. You're kinda nice. Gold I would say, right? What is- What's Josh? What's the best one? Josh is like red three with Alyssa? He's pretty good Yeah, after it's like a green yellow yellow orange Yeah, they've 30 ranks a lot. Yeah, my god the names of the ranks are really cool There's destroyer vanquish your Tekken God Good when you're really good, but before that is just red yellow You're really good, but before that it's just red, yellow.

No, no, no. No, we just call them yellow because it's easier to remember all this shit. First dawn. Yeah, first dawn. Damn. Oh, this makes sense, yeah. Ruler. I'm assailant. So I am destroyer.

Yeah. Yeah, you're up there, man. That's kind of beast. Battle ruler. Red's where you start playing real Tekken. Yes, there you go. And the guides, all the guides try to get you to red, right? Yes, that's the idea

after that it's your own journey that's like the gold of Valorant well yeah red is exactly halfway through all the ranks and then it's what is it ruler

um blue it's just called blue yeah the god of destruction is the highest how are gold and purple the same uh it's gold with like

it's a Nile red video it's gold purple then gold dude that's fire video so Skara is like blue right toast is red yeah but you play Steve so it doesn't count It's a Nile Red video. Dude, that's fire video. So Skara is like blue, right? Post is red? Yeah, but he plays Steve so it doesn't count.

Skara's pretty sick then. Steve's in that game too. Are you the worst in this damn game? I'm not looking at her. Oh, me? I don't play a lot of matchmaking. Have you been labbing? Which is different than usual.

Because usually I just brute force idiotic run at a game. I think this one you have to lab and practice. I know. You have to practice. The saying is this class comes with a lab. You can't just skip it. Sly's been trying to get me on Tekken. You should.

I feel like it's a rabbit hole. Can you guys explain it to me? Because everybody's so excited about Tekken I feel like it's a rabbit hole can you guys can you guys explain it to me because everybody everybody's so excited about Tekken when the last Tekken came out everybody was really excited about that everybody talks about how hype Tekken is Tekken and every time I'm like it probably is and then I don't play it and I usually don't watch it I have no idea how this game works for the most part why is it so good it's like a endless scheme of rock paper scissors, so it's like really fun to watch for me I don't know. It's like all right so much you see so you play fighting games

So the stories behind Tekken is really cool. I watched a bunch of like eSports documentary Arslan ash Oh the the East I thought you meant the story like in like in game like the lore is bad the lore is crazy too you should get high one day and watch that two hour lore

video on Tekken that shit's wild two hour Tekken lore yeah right after my five hour Resident Evil lore video got it you're all queued up

for nap time it's just a weird lore it's fun it's a game that rewards it's like it just feels really good it rewards how you hit how you combo

like the footsies feel good everything that you like about Melee is kind of present it's just in a different package now i'm i'm dumb i haven't played a lot of fighting games why is this different than street fighter i another axis it's just more complicated naruto clash of ninja 2 dude yeah i played that one it It's like Soul Calibur. I fuck girls. I don't know, man. Kind of. Very cool slap. We both have girlfriends.

You're kind of low on the girlfriend PR. I am low on the girlfriend PR. I just like the line. I do think if I told my girlfriend I played Naruto Clash of Ninja Revolution 2 that she might break up with me. Wait, you played Revolution? Yeah. Oh.

Bro! We all think you're weird now. Dude, I put... Clash of Ninja 2 is where it was at. And Diderot was really good, and you could use the little clay things. It was really cheap. That is so lame, bro.

And we did a little tournament. I played Akimaru. Can I ask a question? Yeah. How did you guys, like, get together? You guys are so, like, bro, best friends. You won't cut or cut, bro. You know, that kind of vibe, right?

We met at the Abbey. How did you get together? We met playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. Uh-huh. And then... could probably you know that kind of vibe we met at the Abbey how did you we met we met playing Super Smash Bros. Melee and and then we all met in line at Sephora

we were trying to buy makeup for the entire block of women in the city and we thought that was so cool that we all were like on such a like similar note

I had a coupon so it was really exciting and I said dude actually if we share the coupon we both get the savings because it's not capped it was expired but they let us use it anyway because they kind of have to.

It's an unskippable cut scene. So you just have to wait for the cut scene to end. True war. So you were playing Smash Brothers Melee. Yeah. And we commentated together. And then we went to his house. And then someone I came with.

Lovey stayed at my house for a Smash tournament before we had ever met. And then I showed him my asshole. And then we lived together. And then he came along as a floozy who was kind of giving him a little side stuff. He was on Foothill Boulevard. I flew sucking and fucking for every dime he could find. I flew to San Diego from where I lived to a tournament. And my mutual friend introduced me to these two.

While I was blackout drunk. Oh, we turned him out. They didn't call it Foothill until he moved there. And they challenged me to money matches and turned out my wallet. That was the first time I met them. He was blackout drunk. We just kept beating him and he kept going, dude, you're not even good. I didn't beat you, man.

And then I would have to pay. And then every time I lost and had to pay, they would say, farmers only, farmers only. It's all true. have to pay and then they every time i lost it had to pay they would say farmers only farmers and he kept saying my bit love do cocaine he said that over and over when i finally had to pay the bill i was like what was your memo and then he said pussy slayer 69 and i was like what i really is pussy slayer and it really is pussy and we do have to be i that, we do have to meet at that I'm not gonna give you the money I get so many requests Yeah we said it on unpaid intern and then we went to dinner after and he was just getting requests for money all day

But occasionally I get money Did you say mine too? No I don't know your money I was getting fucking requests It's maybe just cause No cause you know what they do, they go to your like transaction history Oh that's so gross Cause they were doing it to like multiple people at the table who weren't involved in the...

Wait, but that doesn't make sense because mine's private. No, yours probably isn't because you're reckless and you're stupid. It is private. This is true, Slime. This is true. Thank you. Anyway, I don't... What part did you agree with?

The reckless or the stupid? Both. Then they robbed you pretty much. Yeah. Well, we got enough money for one month rent and we said, you can have one week, floozy. Floozy. And then I showed up a year later on their doorstep and they took me in.

He showed up with like, it was like Pigpen and Charlie Brown with a big dirt plow around him and we said, come on in. Let's clean the bugs up.

And then I slept on the floor of their kitchen for a month until we found a new house. That part's real. So I actually lived in my closet. Oh.

Yeah. Not a joke. Yeah. We used to work at an esports broadcast studio called Beyond the Summit. And he got a job there first. Oh, TV worked with him. Oh.

Oh, right, right. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah. And Slyme was like the first person any of us knew to work in eSports. And we were like, holy shit, that's crazy. You can work in eSports? We didn't know you could do that. Gang shit.

And then he messaged me and he's like, hey, I was going to go move closer to my job, but you also already live close to my job, but you also already live close to my job, so what if I rented your closet in your house as a room? And I said, how much do you want to pay?

He's like, how much would it cost? And it was really cheap. And you said $200 a month. Yeah, bro, I was in college and broke. A month? I'm like,

you got to pay, you're going to use the shower and shit and be taking Chong's water and eating the food, you know. You gotta pay the piper. Now you guys became best friends. Yeah, we did.

I would say so. That's cute. I mean, we were friends before all this shit happened, which I think is kind of rare in this. Yes, I agree with you. Because like, Cutie will always say, you know why people like your podcast? It's because you're actually friends. And I'm like, that's a thing I never observed because I felt

like it was always implied. Are you still friends with your day ones? Like before streaming and YouTube? I would say I'm still friends, yeah. You fuck with them? You give them mad love? Who's your best friend? I don't like answering this question. Really? Top five, no order.

I have a top three like, three to five. I would say I'm pretty close to, like, Aria, Jamie. I'm close to Toast and Skara. I still talk to Wendy. Those are pretty... I would say those are the closest, yeah. I feel like the problem... Oh, Michael, obviously, but, like, that's...

Yeah, at least, obviously. Come on, come on. I think it sucks that, like, you particularly, and your fandom like that's... Yeah, at least obviously. Come on, come on. I think it sucks that like you particularly and your fandom and the content you do, there is a bunch of people that will sit and like if you name five of your best friends, they will speculate and make threads about who you didn't name.

That's why I don't like making lists. And it's disgusting. It makes me... Lily makes me so mad. Oh, really? What can I do? Tell me how mad you are. It gets me so mad.

What can I do? Tell me how mad you are. It gets me so mad. Yeah? What can I do? Lily's whole bit is, like, going to your Twitter and reading one of your tweets to you out loud. Like, everything is just, like, letting you see yourself in a mirror, but the mirror's warped. And you gotta be like, am I shaped like that? What? No, I'm just... That's your bit.

I think it's an honest mirror. Well, it is still the bit. She's just saying the mirror's not warped- That's your bit. I think it's an honest mirror. Well, it is still the bit. She's just saying her ears aren't warped. That's fucked up. That's beast. Cause I go like, like, how was your day? And you're like, how was your day today? And I'm like, oh, that's what I said. I'm like, okay.

I have- I have said nothing about kindness. Tell me how mad you are. Oh, you're mad? I do think she picks and chooses her battles better than that one. But- I think it's just banter, right guys? It's a good strat. No, no, no.

A hundred percent. I think bantering is like my way of trying to get closer. Because I know if you can take the banter, then we're going to have a great like back and forth for the rest of our lives. Like when Slime saw you today and he said that you look like you're wearing blankets. I did. I tried to... I chose to overlook it.

Oh my God. She looked straight past me and she said, is my coffee here? I'm like, oh no. And then she took a sip and went, oh! And then she said, oh, I saw the cutest doggo outside today. The freaking epic doggo outside. Fucking millennial. I have a question for you.

This entire podcast is, I have a question for you. Can I ask you a question? I have three questions. Do you want to ask us a question? I asked you a question already. stupid so ask your question uh my question you're part of offline tv yeah which has always been thought of for for including the people in this room as little cutesy fart land with fucking little babies i i got in hot water a while back. Why? Tell me, Slime. What did you say, Slime? Some of the offline TV adjacents, I said that their content is the equivalent of diaper

play. Who did you call? I forgot about that. How could you forget? I forgot. They edited it. Because you say so much shit. Yeah.

Dude, it's hard to remember. And I regret saying that. Why do you regret saying it, Slime? Because there was like a video with like 50,000 views about me talking about this and then Twitter just ran

up on me. It was like a zombie movie. And I didn't even really mean it. I was just saying dumb shit. and I was like oh no and I learned a valuable lesson that day you say one wrong thing about the sky's toast you get packets sent to your router by a 14 year old you know me undies has found a way to engorge your balls I got a small penis what are you talking about yeah so they actually invented underwear that when you put

that your small penis inside of it engorges it and makes it large It'll feel like does it's like Mario's mushroom. It's like making harder. It's not no it's not doing anything special That's the thing. That's what makes it so like good technology guys guys guys. It's called a micro modal sling Why is it micro that hurt it keeps things separated and lifted and makes you look big what if I had a major modal? Well then guess what? You get drafted to the circus because your shit's going to look really big. Honk, honk. I guess you're a clown now because of your clown penis.

Look, MeUndies, they got styles for everyone. They got the prints. They got the solids. They got the thing that makes you look huge downstairs. They got underwear that makes you hard. They also have joggers, hoodies, onesies, some other stuff. And those ones don't make you look huge, but I think they're probably comfortable And those ones don't make you look huge, but I think they're probably comfortable.

I would like to see you in a MeUndies onesie. A MeUndies onesie. You want to see that? Yeah. I want to see you in a micromodal sling. I want to see you in a fucking dumpster dead. Stop ever saying that to me. You would look like that South Park episode with Randy when he gets the big buffalo balls.

I've been using the micromodal undies around the house just to intimidate Josh, man. Because we both wear our underwear. It's a boy's house, right? It's boy's time. But I'll rock up to him, and he just starts going, Mario!

So that could be you with me undies. Comfort's not just an option. It's a guarantee. You said comfort's not just an option? It's a guarantee. You said Comfort's not just an option? Yeah, it's a guarantee. I see. Yeah, you're going to want to go to MeUndies.com slash zipper for 20% off. That's MeUndies.com slash zipper

and get 20% off plus free shipping on your ball-engorging, dick-throttling, boy-loving... Well, not the last part. If you don't want to be engorged, Well, not... Whoa. Not the last part. If you don't want to be engorged, they also have tons of regular underwear. Do you want to be big?

Then use the code. Code makes you big. Me on these. What can I say? Get big for us. Get big for us. So what was your question? You were kind of...

What was the question? It was... Do you think that's accurate? Do you think it's apt that you're all hunky-dory and love diaper play? I don't know why people think that. Like, I don't know what to say.

Are you guys the same on and off camera? I feel like we're very normal. Like if you see our interactions, it's just, oh they're just friends hanging out. Like what constitutes like diaper PG-13? You don't say it as it is. What constitutes diaper play?

What is diaper play? What is it? Diaperipper cupole diaper play. What is it? Diaper play is a fetish. Please don't pull up. Or a kink. Don't pull it up. Zipper cupole. Where you like to pretend that you're a baby and you have a big full diaper. That's really cool slime.

So it's a pejorative way of saying. And a bib. She did it again. And a binky. And a rattle and a really big clothespin that you actually can't buy because they don't make them that big. Yeah, but it does open. It works.

But it's really big. It's just weirdly big. Yeah, but it does open. It works, but it's really big. It's just weirdly big. Yeah. And a bottle. I'm not done. You have to listen to the talk. You have a car seat. You gotta get through it. You have a high chair. You go wah because your diaper's all full. I got something fun for you. You want to see something fun?

What? Slime name every member of OTV. Go. Come on. Go. Come on, go. Come on. Wait. One. Name a person. I reject the premise.

He's been on this. I reject the premise. He's been on this. Okay. All of these friends, did you meet all of these people after getting involved in League and making YouTube videos and stuff? Yeah, but some people I have more history with than others. Like Scarra, we've been in this scene for like over a decade.

What was your life like before you were making YouTube videos? I was in New Jersey. No! I didn't know. See? That actually checks out. What do you mean that checks out? Oh my god.

I see it all. I see it all. I'm waking up from out? Oh my god. I see it all. I see it all. I'm waking up from the jelly. Yeah. I can see it all. There's so many unskippable cut scenes. I wish I could skip his. I'm like, pulling the cord out of my head.

Did you fuck around in Paramus? Oh yeah. Yeah, I was close to Paramus. Why the hell? Why are you? I need to know your reasoning now. I need you to explain. What about Lyndon?

I don't know what that is. New Jersey. You're from New Jersey? That's disgusting. North Jersey, yeah. Why is it great? It was a beautiful suburban area. My mom moved...

We lived in Bronx, and she wanted to go to a nice, like, you know, suburb with good school, right? You're just like a normal-ass person. Well, except for the fact that they don't know how to pump gas until 18. That is actually... That is crazy. No, no, no. Even now, you don't pump your own gas in New Jersey. I meant when you moved out.

Oh. Well, I don't drive, so it's irrelevant. Do you not have a license? You gotta stop playing tech and you gotta learn how to fucking drive. I don't know. I mean, I know how to drive. I'm just really bad. She's wearing combos before

Brindle I just think that I'm doing everyone else a favor By not being on the road Like I am terrible Like I don't trust myself Okay wait I have an idea So we had this video idea that we didn't do But we were gonna do but we will do

Where we were gonna drive drunk Yeah so Michael was telling me about that Did you hear the idea where we were gonna drive drunk. Yeah, so... You say we. Michael was telling me about that. Did you hear the idea? Yes. Yeah, I was gonna get Michael in on this. Yes. And me and Michael and Jay Shlatt

were gonna drive drunk. He was gonna cut Michael in on the felony. And this is like 91 Freeway. Like, this is like... It's real shit. It's a real deal. Like an enclosed... Yeah, like we get like an LOK,

we get drunk. What do you think about the message you're sending? Like, being drunk are you worried about that at all well so i was worried about it which is worried about it why my idea was like okay i'll get progressively drunker and then but then i'll like i'll show where i am blood alcohol content level and then relate it to a country's limit for blood alcohol content oh so make it educational yeah i like that so that was kind of my idea and then clutch that shit and then totally destroy the course and then point to be like ah easy uh and then and then and then schlatt was like what if we just got fucking piss drunk in drove fuck that pussy shit and i was like

damn you're different uh and by the way this is actually the least controversial minecrafter uh you can't call him a minecrafter now yeah it's his roots uh so anyway this we're gonna do this idea it's taking a bit to get to going together but what if we had you come in okay as the as the control as the sober control like as the silver control who can't drive so it's like when do we get worse than Lily? Yeah, cuz that's the life for drunk driver versus novice sober driver Yes, and once we're worse than her we've gone too far and that's the marker for too drunk Cool yeah, you cook doesn't like your idea. thought it was beast that's it yeah how i'm just this is a safe space be honest i'm just worried that okay like you get drunk too what you also

drink drive i like i don't know if i'll be a good control because what if i'm like secretly goaded at driving you know what i mean i wasn't worried about that i wasn't worried about that yeah i thought about it it didn't come up in my head. Oh really? Because that was the main thing in my head. Really? That you could just go to that driveway.

What if I'm better than I thought? Because you know I'll get the K truck out. What's a K truck? My little Japanese truck. Oh right. The one that was stolen. Drives on the wrong side.

You didn't have her drive stick? It got stolen from here by the way. Did you hear we're having the last night here? No. Someone ran up on the front door. Really? Knocking on some door with some backpacks and shit. Cutie was doing

her late night show. She does it here. And then someone ran up to the door and just went, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. And then Cutie freaked out. And then Will's like, I got this. And then Will goes out and he's like, how's it going, man? And he's like, the guy, you can hear it on the mic, he's like, I saw you at CVS.

And he's like, no you didn't. How you doing the mic. He's like, I saw you at CVS. And he's like, no, you didn't. How are you doing? Like, have a good one. And then just diffuses and walks away. Wow. But she was scared. I would be scared, too. I mean, it ain't the fucking greatest part of Los Angeles metropolitan area, but they're

mostly harmless, except for Grand Theft Auto. Except for stealing our car. That's the one. That's the one. That guy who stole your car, we could have just taken it back. We could have taken back what's ours. And what I realized is that

when people steal cars, they're not ready. They're not ready for Nick Yingling. No. Right. No one is. And the resources that he brings to the table. Are you ready for Nick Yingling?

He's like, it's on a billboard somewhere. It just says that. It'sling? He's like, it's on a billboard somewhere. It just says that. It's text. He's my assistant and a great man. He actually is the bridge that connected me to Ludwig.

Oh. So a large reason I know Ludwig, if not the only reason, is that Nick Yingling said, I'm coming to town for a smash tournament coming with my friends.

I said, sure. And Ludwig was one of the friends. That's cute. And he never looked back. Oh, my God. I like hearing how people became friends and how you guys made each other. It's a cute story. Lily, there's so much about your life has been basically documented for the past however long.

What is something no one knows about you that you're willing to tell us here today? Am I getting paid? Yes. How much? However much you want. So much. So many. How much do you want?

I'm going to start with one. You want a million dollars? Equity? You get a million dollars. Equity in the yard? One equity. Yes, I can offer you one equity. She's smart.

No, just one equity. Give her one percent. What is that? It's one share. Make it two equities. We'll make it two equities. Two share. Two share.

She's negotiating against herself. One. Two share. I won't give you one. I'll give it two equities. We'll make it two equities. Two share. Two share. She's negotiating against herself. One. Two share. I won't give you one. I'll give you two. Well, I'm not thinking. Oh, I have to think about this. I feel like I've been pretty open about my life because I'm terrible at hiding stuff,

in my opinion, and I'm so scared that I'm going to leak it. So that's why I'm always open about my relationships and everything, because if I'm open about it, you can't leak it, right? True. Yeah, that's my logic. So can I think about this I don't know think about it I'll tell you about someone who didn't leak the relationship who's one of the most famous people in the world okay Shohei Otani oh yeah he got baseball player yeah he got married and the only reason people know is because he just dropped an insta post that says hey guys got married

and then they're trying to show a picture of him and his wife on the news. They couldn't find one, so they just showed him and his dog. And they're like, yeah, he got married. He got married. But damn, is he good at baseball? It's wrong, but he's so good. We give him at least one dog

a year. Finally, representation for bestiality in the mainstream media. Dude, America would have such a hard time with that. They would just be like, ah, man, he is just a generational talent. America's like, what breed? What kind of a breed? It's St. Bernard, right? It's peak Tom Brady.

Yeah. We forgave Tom Brady for kissing his son in the woods. He says he's unretiring, He's going to the Bucs. He's getting one last shot at it. And also he fucks his dog on occasion. I wouldn't mind. Of course you wouldn't mind. Because he'd probably be the best at it.

Have you seen the Tom Brady kissing his son clip? I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Really? Is it about Tom Brady kissing his son? This is good. If you've never seen this, this is a great control. All I want is I want you to watch this clip with a rating of thumbs up or thumbs down. Who's Tom Brady again?

Tell me how it makes you feel. Tom Brady, quarterback for the Patriots. We're too close of friends for you to not know that. Patriot is football. He's the greatest football player of all time and my personal hero. That's really cool. He's your hero? That's great.

So Ludwig's hero coming up right now. Thumbs up or thumbs down. Okay. All right, so he's just getting massaged. Don't commentate it. This is Alex Guerrero He's one of the best personal trainers See? Get back here kiddo. There's more. Whatever. The second kiss shared by father and son prompted tweets from viewers using words... It's so long. I forgot. It's just too long. I think the first one was The first one's fine.

But the second one lingered. I guess, I don't know. That was in the audio. The audio cut out. After the first one, he says So that's all? And then the kid comes back to give a longer kiss. He says that was just a peck.

And we don't have proof. But I've heard there was tongue. Shut up. That's inappropriate. That's inappropriate. What's inappropriate about a man loving his son? That's what I'm saying. I don't know.

I don't feel comfortable judging. Thank you. Like it's their family. That's a doubt. It's so interesting. I can cast judgment easily because I don't think. Yeah, you said it's like you don't have a diaper play before you watch a stream. But that's too long of a kiss.

I'm just saying. But like, says who? Me. You think it's too long of a kiss. I do. Okay. And I'm brave enough to say that. Okay, fair.

You know, we're all entitled to our own opinions. You know what? Do what you want in your own damn house in your own massage chamber. Oh, I don't know their family dynamic.

I don't know anything about them. That's a great point. They're Brazilian. So, what's your Phil's order? Oh, oh, oh. There's this, um, it's called Honey Haze.

Oh, yeah, that's bomb. That shit's so good. I had it three times. What? Ginger Snap. Ginger Snap, never had that. You should have that one. I've had it three times. What? Ginger Snap. Ginger Snap. I've never had that. You should have that one.

I think Mint Mojito's whack. Are you only Mint Mojito? I think everyone says it's so good. I think it's pretty good. Oh, okay. Honey Haze is great. Ginger Snap is top tier.

We'll try Ginger Snap next time. Did you actually not know who Tom Brady was? Sounded familiar. Like, if you told me to guess and, you know, like, you had a gun to my head you know who the fuck

Is Tom Brady? Can you name any of the voice actors of Valorant? Really? I thought it'd be really funny if she knew that and not Tom Brady. Yeah, I couldn't do that. I don't recall off the top of my head. Do you know who Lionel Messi is? Wait I know Shannon. Jet. Sorry go on. Yeah.

Oh you do know one. Just one. Do you know who Messi is Messi yeah Messi like your room is so messy yeah

like Lionel Messi yeah he's a guy oh okay can I guess yeah you can guess can you say his name again Lionel Messi Lionel Messi

that's how you say it he sounds like a soccer player oh you get there he is he is yeah

okay so he's I vaguely remember something it was fun when he was getting I didn't blow him as Brimstone he was fucking Spike in Cowboy Bebop He is. He is? Yeah. Okay, so I vaguely remember something. It was fun when you just get ready. I didn't blow him as Brimstone. He was fucking Spike in Cowboy Bebop. Oh, I forgot. Oh, I think I remember.

I got a dog and it's in the sky. See, I don't like Brimstone. No, okay, that's fair. So maybe that's why. I do the same thing. If I don't like something, I just disassociate from it. My Brimstone insurance is electric. It's awful. Lily, could you... This would mean a lot to me. Could you do play Brimstone. My Brimstone insurance is electric. It's awful.

Lily, could you... This would mean a lot to me. Could you do a Brimstone impression? Why? Why do you want me to do... Because you're a damned voice actor. I can't do Brimstone. Okay, what does he say?

There's a cock in my ass. Punch in my cock and spit out blood. I can't say that. Spit in my mouth. Spit in my blood. I can't say that. My sky dogs are filled with smoke and I punch blood. That was just a peck, that's all.

You say whatever you want. Smoke's out. One of his real voices is punch me in the teeth and spit back blood. Really? That's one of his voices. Oh, he's pulling it up. Punch me.

I haven't heard something. Different battlefields say, pay attention, might learn something. You've heard that one. That was a good one. That was pretty good. Pay attention, learn something.

I can also do a guy who goons and is Australian if you want. Wait, can we hear that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually love what he does. He's trying to get it off of her. I want to hear it. He can also do an Australian

that wants to stick his dick in the wall of a zoo exhibit that I'm being kept in. Oddly specific, but yeah. Isn't that interesting? I didn't hear this one. Mike, Mike, I think he's going to suck it. I think he's... No, no, he's going away.

Let's go home. That's pretty good. That's in a zoo exhibit. Yep. I'm in the panopticon. Do you know what a panopticon is? Panopticon? Listen, we're bombarding you too much.

Can you repeat it? A panopticon is like a type of theoretical jail cell where there is a central system where the guards look at a circular cell arrangement so they see everybody at once. And if you're in the cell, you never know if you're being watched. Oh. It's a panopticon Oh You learn fast Very specific Yeah it is Oh wow

We have a graphic for you Welcome to the yard We do this a lot That's what I like it I like the visual This is from Aiden's mind Yeah

Okay A few things about prisons That's what it's The inside of my head Looks like I'm not letting this go Do Brimstone Because you're a damned Talented voice actress I this go Do Brimstone Because you're a damned talented voice actress

I can't do Brimstone's voice You can try Now we're landing Haymakers Now we're landing Haymakers That one Now we're landing I fucking fuck off What?

You did like a baby voice Who's my whale of whipsaw? That's a landing haymaker. Punch me in the teeth. Can we get a damn right we crushed it? Damn right we crushed it? Damn right we crushed it. This is just, you know what?

Either way. What's your lowest octave? Wait. Oh yeah, sorry. Well, you know, do you know about this? Do you know about this? Do I know about this? You don't know about Wait. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Well, you know. Do you know about this? Do you know about this?

Do I know about this? She don't know. He don't know about this. Oh, that clip. That's a beast clip. She didn't like doing it. No, it's because whenever I do a paper, I fucking knew you were speaking your voice like all of a sudden. I always get those comments.

I thought this for a long time. Yeah, it's fine. You know, you and everyone else. I'm population. I was always. I think you can go back. I think this is a yard episode where we talk about this a long time ago, and I said no that's definitely not a fake voice Aww thanks. You're one of the good ones.

Thank you. Is there one of the then so wait that makes you wait that makes you- There's a bad one. Presumably. I'm honest. I think it's your real voice now. And I love how honest you are. And that's, that's great. I'm in the mind jam. Look in the mirror! Lily I'm in the mind

Lily puts you in the gun do too really easily. She just says what you said back to you and you're like Sometimes like a lot of things you say you know I just say you should hear it back You ever listen to your own episodes and like listen to yourself back all the time I've never watched one of the episodes ever really I would think you would do it the most because Give me that vibe sometimes, you know? Wait, explain this because I don't know if I should be here yet. Slime has listened to the most episodes. You love your show. Aiden is second.

I'm third, but I'm still close to Aiden. Okay. No, I'm third, but, you know, somewhat close. And then Ludwig is dead last. He doesn't listen to you. This is Ludwig's mental stack of things he cares. This is pretty low on it compared to the other

things he does so if he spent time listening to the yard I think he would consider it a waste of time okay because his best friends are on it

he lived it he'd rather be like Gary Vee podcast on a run learning about finances I don't listen to Gary Vee on a run learn about some

beast ass crypto strats yeah etc it's going up dude you know I just assumed you listened because like you seem like the type of person Learn about some beast-ass crypto strats, et cetera. It's going up, dude. You know? I just assumed you listened, because you seem like the type of person who likes listening to themselves talk.

I actually do. So, you know, smoke that. That's what I just said. I have an announcement. Okay. We've always known. Fuck yeah. I'm not doing the marathon oh no will you talk about it as much

I only care because let me get you in tune Ludwig is a goals guy Ludwig likes to set goals and he always hits the goals he actually doesn't know. Damn. No, he hit plat.

And I'll hit it today. I'm literally going to blast today. He never hit diamond though. I will hit that today. Okay, go on, go on, Bill. So he always hits the goal. And part of what makes it hard for him to even like fathom a world where he misses a goal is because he never has. But a marathon, that's been his goal for a while.

Okay. Long time. And what he's saying right now, for maybe the first time in Dubbin history. He's a loser. He's a loser? To be clear, let me rephrase. He's a loser? I'm not running the March 17th marathon.

Oh, okay. So you're like running a marathon one day. That's cool. That's like top five meanest things You've said secretly Okay Well so you're He's not winning the marathon I'm not winning the marathon

This upcoming one I ran yesterday And she didn't splint So it's You get around What did I tell you You get around it Sorry

You get around it Oh no it's okay You know what I've realized The only way for me to do it Is if I quit basketball Cause basketball Makes me Pained Dude the hoop always Makes you choose at makes me pained. Dude, the hoop always

makes you choose at some point. And I have to choose the hoop. Which life? You choose the hoop? Hoop life? I have to choose the hoop. He has to do that because if he doesn't choose the hoop, he loses access to the... He has what I call a friendship slurry. Yeah. So as a way to spend time with his friends without actually having one-on-one or meaningful

time. It's a social thing, yeah. He gets everyone together to play basketball and counts that. He did this with Cutie, and she said, that wasn't a date, and he said, we played basketball. Oh, really? No, no, no. I didn't say it was a date. I said we hung out.

I didn't say it was a date. We hung out. Okay. I didn't say, like... And she's like, we never hang out. And then Ludwig said, we played basketball with you and 17 other people. That makes so much sense.

I see that. So we're not actually hanging out right now, right? No, this is like for your podcast. This is work. This is work. This is work. This is paying the bills. Got it.

Dude, Cutie did some shit. Sorry. On Women's History Month. Women's History Month. You're going to do the same shit that she did? Go ahead. Wait, now I wanna know. Can't you just cut it out after?

I got her flowers every week in the month of February. Oh, that's so cute. Every flower lived and died where it was placed in the house. Okay, so... Wait, in a vase? Like, I brought in flowers and we were in a rush, so I put it like at the door, and then it died at the door. Okay. Okay. Okay.

This is interesting. Whose fault is this? By the third set of flowers, I moved it to a vase and I put it in the living room. Maybe that's what she wanted the whole time. Maybe she was training you. But I did it with that one. Then the other ones just died. This is like when you get an AI to like play itself over and over.

Eventually it learns the solution without any guidance. And I threw out the other flowers and I was sad. You didn't freeze dry them and then say I kept them forever for you? No, fuck no. They're forever for you now. If you got flowers every week for a whole month of February... I'd be a little annoyed. What?

Because you get me flowers, then I have to take care of it where am I gonna put it you're a gamer eventually I told Michael actually like you don't don't get me flowers they're gonna die

like get me fake flowers or something you're a gamer do you know that you did get me flowers and I felt bad because they died like I said to you

it would be crazy if you were wrong I felt I wanted to like at least try one or something maybe save preserve that one

but it feels like responsibility to take care of this. I told him, don't get me. I don't want to, you know, it's just too much work. That's communication.

That's how shit gets done. Mike, Michael Reeves. Uh, when, when we started doing the yard, uh, my girlfriend's little brother who doesn't really know anything about any of this stuff.

The moment he knew it was cool that I had a podcast was I knew Michael Reeves. Oh, he was like, you know, Michael Reeves He was like Michael Reeves so cool He refuses to come on Fucking motorcycle date in Japan you so mad Mad it's just two weeks is a long time for that you could do that in a week Why do we do we actually think we could do in a week two weeks without up in? Well, it's one week to get there

sensual lovemaking Can you go Hokkaido to Kyushu I just want to see Zip right about can you go Hokkaido to Kyushu? I just want to see Michael bareback She's so she's actually so mad about it I'm not mad do the Lily to Jealousy that something It's good that you're not mad! You're using jealousy that means him share something you never will. I'm not jealous. It's like when you tell-

No, no, no. It's good that you're not mad. That's the you. I just did the you, you. It's like you're telling someone to calm down, right? You know what I mean? Right. And they were calm, but now they're not calm because you're telling them to calm down.

So I'm getting mad because you're calling me mad. Oh my god, you're mad. But not for the initial reason. You're mad, bro. You're so upset. I'm going to pour this on you. That would be so hurtful to me. Is it iced? It's iced. That's not bad.

I would love scalding coffee to go on Ludwig's face. I will say that. How long is the trip? I can't read that. 33? It's 33 hours, uh, what, in a car? No. It's only 33? That's not that long. That's gonna be longer. I can do that. I've done like 24. If you and Michael rip some crank, you can get it done in one month. You guys should go stop by Onsen's and stuff. We're going to see each other's penises.

Okay. All right. I don't care. And then they'll go to the Onsen. Oh, that's some Rodney Dangerfield shit. That's a layup. That's a layup. We're going to be so bonded

Are you gonna take like Are you gonna make content out of this Or is this just like an off camera thing It will be filmed But it won't be streamed I'll say happy for you but I meant mad If you just went on a fun trip for two weeks No stream content no nothing

We've been trying to get two days from him We've been trying to get two days from him We went to Italy Content you piece of shit The The only company did was the yard. Yeah, they feel good one yard This is funny because we're literally for a week because we are getting mad at you about an imaginary thing Because you are making content what you do we should do a swap with OTV Hmm, we should take two y'allalls, and you take two of ours. And it's a month.

No, it's a week. Who would you pick? From the yard? Who would you pick from the yard, and who would you give us? We want to hear your proposal, Shark. And you can use us for anything, and we can use them for anything. Who would you guys pick? We can use them for anything.

I want Skara and two first round draft picks. I like that answer. I like a man who use them for anything. I want Skara and two first round draft picks. I like that answer. I like a man who knows what he wants. I agree. I agree with you. Who do we pick? We pick Zerar for sure. Why's that?

I think he's the most versatile. Yeah, he would be down. He's averse, you should say. Cause the other ones... That's a better way to say that. The other ones don't really like do stuff. That's really... Okay, go on.

Do stuff outside of this? I feel like they don't do as much stuff. I feel like Scars... I feel like everyone would be down, though. To come to our quarters? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like there's a certain level of gaming that they all must do.

I guess Scarra also. Yeah, Scarra must... I... Okay. I want Broden. Oh. Broden. I don't fuck with him.

You don't fuck with Broden? And if we get Broden, I want him to hold me. We don't get him because I don't fuck with him. Yeah, why don't you fuck with Broden? Why don't you fuck with Broden's son? Oh, I'm thinking of Marsh. You guys laughed really hard, and I don't know the context. Who's Marsh?

Marsh? He's the producer for Fear Hand. A slime moment for the ages. Broden's cool. You're going to get a message from Marsh. That was so fucking funny. So who do you want from us? We want Broden and Scarra. Broden and Scarra.

Sorry. Oh, does it bother you? I'm so sorry. Broden and Scarra is kind of pinky in the brain. That was a bit. I shake a lot. That was a bit. You can shake as much as you want.

Because my friend Josh does it in the car, and he shakes the whole car. No, you can shake if you want. It's fine. I just. You know what? Here's the thing. If I choose to shake, it will be knowing that it's okay. But also, it's okay if I don't.

It has nothing to do with you making fun of me for it. I would pick Aiden and Ludwig. Whoa. Wow. Left field. I'm hurt. So explain. Because they're on the right side.

I just want to pick two. Oh, she is all right. That's true. And you're next to Slime. And I I just want to pick Right, that's true And I didn't want to do you fuck with Tuggernaut you guys are new enemies you guys You wouldn't be you and slut Loving it there you and Ludwig are the best you've ever been really great healthy strong friends very strong What is your problem with me? Oh, maybe you're not so charming, bitch. Oh, that hurt him and you know it. Did you think you were charming?

Oh, that hurt even more. Remember, pineapple's the word. I can stop. Only if you're not charming, you're weak. You know what? Lily, did you bring your controller like I said? Oh, I knew I was forgetting something.

I forgot. I'm sorry. You have to remind me like eight times. Well, because I was going to challenge you right here, right now. But if you don't have your controller, we can't play. Do we not have an additional one? So she dodged it. I don't think you guys have a hitbox.

A hitbox? We can play online. You guys play today. I will play you literally play you wanna play first attend Yeah, I'm sorry do you have something like the way you do it I didn't know this I'm learning don't get mad at me. I thought ash Arsalan was a human one match one matches fast It's super fast Yeah, yeah, it is quick. You guys are first ten today Yeah online. Yay Yay

Lily I have a question for you that I wanted to ask. Okay. Yeah you I Used to be somebody that looked at the League of Legends subreddit from 2012 to 2015 So I before I knew about even smash smash which is what i met them through yeah i was watching some of your youtube videos okay and in your youtube videos you never saw your face back then yeah and we i asked i did a thing this a long time ago because he was on the show at what point do you decide to like become instead of being this like faceless voice in all your YouTube videos? When do you decide to reveal yourself? I think it's when the comments became too much like people were always like wondering I have how do you look?

I bet you're ugly like it's just like non-stop right because I had a high voice there like oh I know you're just a guy in real life. I bet you're like this or that so many assumptions So I thought hey, maybe I should just like get it over with yeah, and then they'll stop bothering me jokes on me He started calling me ugly after that for real for real, and then I was like well there goes my self-esteem Oh, that's so shitty. What a really shitty lesson to learn. Were you confident before? No. Oh Oh, okay What kind of question? You seem to have a healthy relationship with like when information is behind some sort of gate you just like release it for the most part

Unless it's like Yeah I mean what else have I got to have at this point right? That's good I think it's good Yeah What does that mean? Like she'd rather just like put it out and not stress about it anymore than like always be stressing about it I think that's why I call myself like cringe a lot because I think if I own it you know then it's like whatever I got to It can't

It can't hurt me it also sucks living with like pianos over your head like just wondering pianos? like a metaphorical piano like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon it's like I wonder when someone's gonna say this about me or whatever it's like and the piano keys become your teeth

and then you could play them cause you know how to play the piano are they bullshitting me or is this an actual thing have you never fucking seen a goddamn cartoon? Thank you for saying what I was thinking. But it's so it's metaphorical. It's artistic. OK, we're English majors. Do you not use metaphors to speak about situations?

Because I do it too much. It's like when Brimstone alts over you and the alt is hovering. Like, what do you want? My question was genuine because I think sometimes i use metaphors too much and i sound like a fucking idiot i'm wondering if you do the same thing it just it felt like it came out of left field so it took me by surprise but i completely understand your use of metaphors to convey the situation and i appreciate it do you can you see in your mind yeah okay what does that mean some people can't visualize oh i can't do that too good really i'm starting to realize way more people can't see in their mind than I have thought.

Do you guys have a voice in your head? Yeah. It's my voice. It's on my head. Where is it? He's talking. It's in my soul. No, it's not in your soul, you idiot.

You don't have a soul. I do. You idiot. You don't have a soul. That's where he is. He comes from much deeper. I don't think it's in your head, but it's much lower. He's in tummy.

Stop touching your tummy. I don't like this. It's okay, buddy. He doesn't actually hate you. I don't. He said to kill yourself. Okay. He gets mad sometimes.

He's mad. He likes me. He doesn't deserve that. Ludwig's so strong. You ever think about that, Ludwig? Dude, stop. What? Then stop working out.

What the fuck do you want from me? You can't go a part about it. Strong like physically or mentally? Not mentally. Not mentally. He's a child. Sorry.

That really got her. It's okay. I don't know what you said. I'm just happy to be here. Oh, it's so funny. Dude, she's the one that bullied me. I do think it's funny.

Why? Okay, this seems to be like a repeat instance of people he hangs out with, yourself included, that seem to mock the idea of Ludwig being an athlete. Me and you and Kaede, I told you I was an athlete. And do you know what you both did? We laughed. Like really loud. And then you said nothing after which

As much as I would like to laugh with you, it's just he just is no he's not an athlete Sports I think so Fuck no. Oh, okay. Okay, then never mind. He's consistent. Yeah, that's fine then.

I guess the word just sounds really cool, right? Like, someone who- I agree. Does professional sports sort of thing. And I don't peg you as that, right? Right. Okay. Gamer.

Yeah, give me more gamer personality vibes. Maybe it's just our perception of you. I can't believe it didn't change after you sat in my backpack. Oh. A la Kazooie with Banjo. Lil' Jilly. Lil' Jilly. Lil' Jilly Jansport.

All the dodgeball. Just in the backpack. I sat in Michael's backpack, but yeah. You did. It's true. I can't be mad. That was like my ultimate. She said I sat in Michael's backpack.

That was fun. I did like that. I've done many fight tier lists and every time you come up i always go ah i'd have to fight michael too and it makes things harder yeah no i would call him michael yeah it's like uh what is it like in jojo's like her stand yeah yeah because she just stands there and fucking watches him do everything wait i i did stuff i caught a ball. That's true. What else did I do? That's right-handed.

You don't have to keep thinking. It's all right. I caught a ball. I caught a ball. I caught a ball. There was nothing else. I invited Michael. You're welcome.

Did Lily do this funny thing last year? She goes, after dodgeball, she's like, I want to get fit. Like, actually, I'm really inspired to get fit. Can we not? No, yeah. I want to get, like, strong. I'm like, I love this. Yeah.

And I'm like, one thing. Do this for me as a favor as a friend don't wait until january 1st to start working out i'm actually gonna start april i'm talking to my friends interesting and and she's like okay yeah sure and so then uh like like two days past we play val i'm like did you do it because it was like january 1st by that point and she's like i went on a hike. And I'm like, okay, you know, that kind of counts. And then like two days passed.

I'm like, did you go to the gym again? She's like, gym's just so far. It is really far. And you know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? They have a gym in their house. No. No, dude.

But I live in the back house. Oh my God. No, but I think I'm actually going to start. I was thinking like April is the weather's getting warmer and I can like outside more Just like him running a marathon I think What was your like peak rank in League? Because you played a shitload, right? Like, high plat. High plat, okay.

Yeah, Diamond. I don't know. Do you think that Tekken is like, again, your progress is so beast. People keep saying that, but I just think like if you played as much as I did, I'd play like eight, ten hours a day, you would also get beast. I don't know. I think it's just. Well, not even beast.

It's moving a lot faster than I think. Do you think this Tekken mentality can apply to other things? Yes. Yeah. For sure. There was a time in League of Legends where I duo queued from gold to plat, right? And then someone was like, oh, you got carried. Like everyone knows you got carried like everyone knows

you got carried blah blah i got so like that was my motivation so i spent like time afterwards getting a solo queue account and solo queuing to plat just to prove them wrong but there's like that spite dedication you know like i can do it it's the easiest way to improve when you have someone you hate it drives it it's so good you want to prove them wrong and then when you do it feels so fucking good that's we call that dark energy because my my friend josh who is a professional melee player he he's talking like his dad made fun of him or something for like you know not winning a melee or like making fun of him for playing melee and then he just has like carried that dark energy for a long time and he just like can call upon that but he said sometimes

it's bad to use dark energy. I agree with that, yeah. And you have to use light energy. Wait, when does he know? When does he know? When does he know? Like when is a bad time to use dark energy? It's bad to always rely on it.

Something that would consume you, right? What's the light energy? Light energy, I don't know. He plays Kingdom Hearts a lot. I assume light energy is the love of the game and wanting beautiful moments. And wanting to get better. Yeah, raw passion.

I think it makes us good too. Yeah, but finding it is crazy because some people go their whole lives without playing Tekken. You know what I mean? Do you think about that sometimes? It's not that. That is wild, right?

You should play Tekken. You should play it. It's a good game, guys. I'm playing it. I'll play it. I'll play it. I'll have to play it because we're going to do a Bro vs. Bro and you're going to pick Tekken now because you have a new game. Well, I don't know. I'm not confident video games. I'll play it. I'll play it. I'll play it. I'll have to play it because we're gonna do a Bro vs. Bro and you're gonna pick Tekken now because you have a new game.

Well, I don't know. I'm not confident in Tekken though. Are you deadass? You're not confident enough to beat Ludwig in Tekken? See, I have this memory, right? I thought I was like okay at League and Toast didn't play League that much at that time. He's like 1v1 me in League. I played my favorite character, Lux, you know, thought I could beat him. I lost that 1v1.

That's different though. And ever since then, I'm like, you know, I can't rely on people not knowing the game enough because they could still beat me. You can't let that shake you. I know, but it shaped

my entire... What did he play in mid against you? I was Lux and he played Zeroth or something. I don't remember. Is that a counter? Was it a counter?

No, not really. It was a pretty good matchup. It was a pretty good matchup. It was a pretty good matchup. So I was like, what the fuck? And also it's like the pressure too. Like, oh, everyone expects me to beat him. So now if I don't beat him, I'm going to look like a fool. I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, and like losing to Lud. I know. It is just terrible. It's awful. It hurts so bad. It's just the worst. I've lost a tournament games hurts so bad. It is just the worst. I've lost tournament games to Ludwig in a lot of games.

One time, Ludwig beat me in a set of Melee in front of all of our friends at Friendsgiving and laughed at me. It wasn't just that. They played a match to determine who gets to say they're the best player between the two of them for six months uninterrupted.

It was so insane. And then every time somebody asked which one of us was better, he got to say, it's me. And you had to say it. And I had to agree. It is now historically, between our relationship, I've been better for six months, he's been better for zero. He's a bad winner. As a retired player.

You know what sucks too about that, Lily? Is Ludwig clutched up. It was an insane win. Yeah, he can't be mad. Put it in Lily, is Ludwig clutched up. It was an insane win. Put it in second terms. He basically... I understand clutched up. No, the rest situation. The rest situation? He rage-arted in like a one-frame window where it would punish.

And it was just so insane. Like, who rage-arts there? Nobody. And it was insane. Literally a few, who rage arts there? Nobody. And it was insane. Literally a few guys. Literally a few guys do that. Me and Firepuff. Only a few guys.

Like, cringe. So many players. Me and Firepuff. Cringe. Okay. But you can see that our relationship with Ludwig itself has been adversarial. And maybe he kind of brings that to the table. I mean, if it smells like shit everywhere you go, they say look at your own shoe, right?

Yeah. It's kind of like that, right? Let me see that. If everyone hates me, I agree. You're saying maybe Ludwig has pooped somewhere nearby. Yeah. And that might be something we have to think about. That's absolutely right, yeah.

I don't. Do you have shit on your U-toes? You see them? You actually do have gum. No, it's just pink. No, that's gum. The blue. There's a blue piece of chewing gum on the bottom of the shoe.

Wait, what the hell? I got gum on my u-toes. I think you guys are all dark people who put it onto me, and I'm actually a very sweet person. It was very nice, but you're... Do you think that Ludwig is baby girl? I'm baby girl. He does give baby energy. Well, just baby? Yeah like just like an infant like

Puppies like the best comparison yeah, yeah, he's very harmless super monkey ball, baby. Yeah No, I don't like that. You don't like that. I don't like diaper play. No one does. No, I know. Well, Ludwig gets shit too in like some communities where it's like, Ludwig's like the Disney guy.

Like he's Disney. I've heard that too. And that's interesting as well. Because I don't really think that's true either. But it's the same rap like OTV kind of kids. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. Why?

Just nice people maybe? Yeah, it's just being nice. Why? Just nice people, maybe? Is this a misperception? Yeah, it's just being nice or really sweet. Just like kindness is perceived as that. Just loving my heart. I bring light to every room I enter. Childlike wonder. Childlike wonder.

That exudes right out of me. I solve an enthusiasm for learning. Yeah. Like PBS kids. Yeah, a lust to understand. Yeah. It's a lust. Deep lust.

Yeah. Deep lust that pushes me. Yeah, I don't know. It's so like happy. It's a deep lust that pushes me. Yeah, I don't know. It's so, like, happy. And that's cool. I'm happy for you that you're happy. He's not happy. Really?

You're not happy? He thinks I'm not, but I am. You seem happy. He can't run a marathon. It's chewing him up inside. It's devouring his soul. I've actually realized that this marathon goal, although it's something I will achieve in my lifetime, ultimately is not as valuable

as the time that I get to hang out with my friends playing basketball and I would rather do that. That was cute. I can't even shit on that. You don't believe him? I don't.

That was really cute. I believe him because he plays basketball with me. You haven't showed up one week. That's true. You haven't felt the magic of you think Ludd's going to shoot and he looks over at you

and he says, catch. And he passes you the ball. And you get it and you're like, chariots of fire starts playing. But Luddwick, there's only two seconds left and he goes over at you and he says, catch. And he passes you the ball. And you get it and you're like, chariots of fire starts playing. But Ludwig, there's only two seconds left and he goes, shoot it.

You haven't felt that yet. And then it breaks. I've assisted so many game winners. Yeah? Yeah. Because everyone thinks I'm going to shoot it. And then I dish it out and they just hit it. Zipper two hit one. That's the shake and bake.. No they have to hit it

Yeah, I don't I'm the only one that doesn't show up on these basketball days doing come You know ball would you play? I'm not gonna pass no one is about our games. Yeah Yeah, I think you should be especially not good in a way that might not be fun for you. You might be like that Wow Jenny get strong you like huh have any sports you like? Huh? Do you have any sports you like? I like volleyball. I can see you.

Oh, yeah, that's the one. I'm so bad at volleyball. On Women's History Month. No, because after dodgeball, she's just like 15 times like, yeah, that was fun. Can you make a volleyball one now? Oh, that's funny. Can you make a volleyball one now?

I can see you being a mean pickleball player. Oh, pickleball's hard. I think my main issue is stamina right now. Even if I like all these sports I lost like five minutes and I'm out of breath. Yeah, I'm gonna do the volleyball one So you're forced to have to work out to get better stamina. Otherwise you can be so embarrassing. Beach volleyball? No, no actual indoor volleyball. Regular ass. Beach volleyball's hard. It's harder. It is harder. You seen that video of that dog that plays yeah What's cool? He's just literally air, but it's too

It's to be to but one guy plays with his dog and the dog literally does not drop the ball That's so sick the dog is setting up for his teammate every time and not yeah, it's sick He's a beast they like win the rally He's better than everyone in this room at volleyball. Yeah, which is kind of sad, but beast. That's fucked up. Zipper, please. We've talked about it too long. When you wake up every day and you're obsessed.

I'm obsessed with it. I'm driven. The dog. What about, I should do like maybe, you know, what about like a group painting session? Or like, you want to make a band? That's kind of cool, right? Band, band. Music's cool.

You know, I thought before all this. Oh, what a set. Wait, that's sick. Holy shit. The dog is so good. Oh, my God. Now, they are being nice because I think they spiked it to the dog. It's kind of jover.

Yeah, but his sets are so good. They should spike it to the dog. His sets are so good. Yeah, I definitely miss a set after this many tries. Wait. Oh. You hate to see it. He's a good boy.

He's trashed. Dumb fucking dog. Dog wash. Stupid dog. Piece of shit. What were you saying? Oh, before all this, I thought what I was going to do

was traditional art. Really? Did you draw? I did charcoal. What does that mean? And oil paint. I thought I was going to like just do that physical. You asked to go on the paint? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to paint a lot. do you draw I did charcoal what does that mean and oil paint I thought I was gonna like just oh is that right

you have to go on the yeah oh yeah yeah yeah I used to paint a lot I used to do charcoal stuff and I was just like I'm bad at this

oh that's what I ultimately realized I'm not good at this but it's fun it's still like a hobby you know because I feel like

that's a hobby it's relaxing lasts you till the rest of your life but I think I get lovely brain I think I it's one of those things where I do it

and halfway through I'm like am I wasting time no you're never wasting time when you're doing something you love sometimes you are sometimes you are

that's the dark truth is that it just burns in your head because I like getting high eating food and watching anime and that is not a good use of time

okay okay well painting specifically I don't think it's ever wasting time because you make a painting it's tough because just because you make something and like on the surface, it's very pretty and nice.

I don't know if that means I'm not wasting it. What if you improved at it? Yeah. That'd be pretty beast. I think I'd be better at improving at it now than I was in high school. I think making something like creative is still very fulfilling. Better than playing chess as much as I do. I agree.

I think improving at something you don't quite care about as much as the thing you do care about hurts more We are because we have a life clock right so essentially we are playing video games wasting time But man does it feel good when you do max damage combo Yeah when I had the land a combo Yeah when you hit your launcher What wouldn't be wasting time? I think I think there are things that probably push you and maybe other facets of life or unlock things. I think if if you have any tangible goal with leverage, even if it's not like even if it's completely social or if it's like completely internal, it's not a waste of time.

But it's just like I'm going to do this thing out of like raw pure curiosity and like just do it and not really think too much about it instead of like think about my life. Then probably waste yeah it depends on your like sort of tolerance for shame and you know what wasting time means to you like in lily's mind it's like okay if if you have fun doing it that is a w because having fun and enjoying life is like already kind of winning um but some people like i have a shame cube in my mind that's like i don't care if i'm i'm not very zen like i have like i have like a list of things in my head i want to do like goals i want to achieve and i'm like if this thing is not contributing to that thing but it's also not helping me de-stress after a day of working on that thing which i would consider the fun category

like if i work all day on like towards a goal at the end of the day i'm like i'm just gonna like literally do nothing for two hours but it's helping me decompress that's not wasted time that's like necessary recharge time it's cap no okay no every day you take a two-hour dump you better be working while you do it i see the toilets are slanted forward so they aren't comfortable in our workplace. This is all really good. Just save some for the painting podcast. Oh, speaking of saving some for a podcast. Time flies when you're dodging the best kuma in the zip code right now.

First to 10 today. I would love to. Are you down? You're so much more, what's the word? Experienced old. Brother, you've been playing a lot more Tekken than I have. No, no, I was gonna say egotistical?

That I thought you were gonna be. About Tekken or in general? No, in general. For someone who was like bottom of the ladder with me at the Valorant tournament. Dude, come on. First attempt today! And then the beginning clip is just gonna be the pop-off for whoever

won. No, that spoils it. What do you mean? Do you want to put it at the end? The beginning clip is just going to be the pop-off for whoever won. Dude. No, that spoils it. Yeah, that's. But what do you mean? Do you want to put it at the end? Oh, no, no. Sorry. You should put it for the podcast.

I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I live at the beginning clip of the first of 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wouldn't. I know. I know. I misunderstood.

Lily, do you think that you. Here's the thing. Maybe I was bottom of the leaderboard, bottom of the stats for the whole. Number 10. Number 10 out of 10. That's right. Did you bring immaculate vibes to the team? I think our vibes were great.

Did you bring them? Did you make Pokimane laugh? I'm saying I brought the vibes. I made Pokimane laugh. Pokimane laughs at everything. No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. I said something.

She didn't laugh at all. She's a very charming, charismatic individual who makes you feel appreciated and welcome and heard. And she probably did the same for you because she saw how poorly you were playing and wanted to make you feel better. Oh. I'm sorry, was that pineapple? Pineapple? We gotta go. We'll see you next time.

Say pineapple. Thank you so much. Why don't you say pineapple? Are you holding your breath? Stop. That was terrible. Say pineapple. Goodbye.

Bye. Do you want to say anything, or do you want to just close it out? Bye. Thanks for having me on. This was so fun. Like, thank you so much for inviting me. I did get you one gift. Oh!

Dude! Let's go. Bye, everyone.