The Yard - Ep. 141 - How good is The Yard without Ludwig?

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

This week, the boys talk about why there isn't a guest this week, Nick & Aiden's adventure to get a milkshake, and how Aiden met Bobby Lee..

why doesn't he do anything that damn people say why does he act like charizard when we don't have enough badges he's clocked in he's headphones on headphones on and i don't think you have enough badges to tame you Demonstrated by the conversation that happened right before are you kidding me? He looked you in the eye and said no you asked for the truce. I literally asked him because I All he does that the one way he can interpret the human language is by chirping at you Yeah, and I told him this guess what he didn't like the truth because it hurt his feelings He's chirping. Well, he fired back with more chirps. I don't know if he was hurt. That's what I'm saying you yeah and i told him this guess what he didn't like the truth because it hurt his feelings king of chirping well he fired back with more chirps i don't know if he was hurt that's what i'm saying

yeah you fire back with what oh yeah more chirps and then you know what he said i don't chirp yeah you know what's fun is we're still in the part of the episode where if a new viewer happened to find us right now like this would be their first taste of us so like we could kind of say anything we want and they would believe it they believe that it's consistent like nick yingling was born with half a penis well right and that's something that we've all known about him for a long time he was born with half a penis and he got the rest later he's had half a penis as long as he's been chirping and what's funny is that we actually called this podcast the yard because uh he was born in a yard and there was a grave accident.

He was. He was born next to a goat. His mom had her legs up in the stirrups. That's crazy. Nick Kingling's mom had square pupils. It was fucked up. We buried a squirrel and Nick Kingling sprouted in three weeks after rainfall.

And Farmer McDaniels picked up Yangling by his fucking baby foot and he said, God damn son of a bitch. This boy has half a damn penis on him. Half a penis? Penis, I've never damn seen it. Anyone eat this penis? McDaniels, we call him McDonald's.

We call him McDonald's. McDaniels, you know that stuff about his wife isn't true. No way. It has to be true. No, it's not true. And she had the cyborg legs. Right, like Fox McCloud. That, that's why she was piloting them in damn planes in Korea. I loved her long metal legs. Do those long metal legs go all the way up? I'd say that. Back then you could say that. You could say that to another man's wife, and if he was cool with it. If they had metal legs, you could get away with that every time. You know what I liked about them?

What Farmer Daniels told me all the time? They were so cold. He loved how cold they would get. Dude, I wish I was born in the olden times, because if someone says something to your wife and you didn't like that, you'd kill them. You'd kill them. And everyone's like, dude, like, come on. Bro, you can't say that about his wife.

But you don't like go to jail. They're like, next time, can you not, like, load a revolver for 17 minutes and shoot that guy in the head and you're like fine i guess and if you had a good enough like hide tanning business they didn't even say shit to you do you think do you think that the first jail was like really easy to break out of like if i was put in the first jail ever i I feel like I could do some... You could, like, tell the guard about, like, chemistry. And he'd be like, well, son of a bitch, you seem to be Jesus Christ himself. I'll let you go. So if I take two and put it with two, you realize that makes four.

And he's like, shits his pants. He freaks out like the fembots. Opens the gate. I feel like the first jail has to be so much further back. Underground dungeons? Wait, that sounds hard. Not as far back as I thought. Underground?

You gotta eat too much dirt to get out. So, hey, do you want to address the Kristen Bell in the room? Nope. It's Women's Month. Closing out Women's Month. Wow. It's for girls. How you doing, Kristen?

You want more food? Okay, I'll feed you. Kristen, you know what's funny about this Kristen Bell cutout that is standing in the place of Ludwig's empty chair? She's not really standing. She is, well, so you say women don't stand on business. Right. You say that women shouldn't own businesses.

Not once. Every great move forward for women has come probably because of a man's decision. What? Yeah. You like that shit, huh? I said that with too much sincerity.

The better your delivery gets, the worse this will be for you. You know what Hank Green said about our podcast? It was actually very sweet. He says it's a podcast. It smells like poop in here. You know why I came

on your podcast? It's because it smelled like poop. It smelled like damn poop in here. There's something scientific about that. Zipper comes in once a week and lays some manure topsoil on this grass. That's why it's so fucking green. You want to see Zipper?

You want to find out who Zipper is? Go to a Lowe's in LA. You have a decent chance. Look for the guy with overalls on, but one strap is broken. Zipper's a yokel with four teeth. That's why for those people that are going to watch

the primo the magi magi at the end of the episode she pops in and she's like is that zipper? Because she just didn't think

his teeth would be like that. God damn you look like a pumpkin son. The expiration date on my bit has probably arrived, but I just wanted to say it really bad, so I'm going to say it anyways. Yeah, Hank Green, to me, he said he wanted to come on because he knew Zipper had a vein in it.

He had a big old vein on it. He wanted to see it for himself. I had to add Zipper into that to make it work. You know what you should have said? He wanted to come on because he heard I had a vein in it. That's what I wanted to say. We that to make it work. You know what you should have said? It's like, he wanted to come on because he heard I had a vein in it. That's what I wanted to say when we started talking about zipper. No, that's way easier because you're, to do analysis live, is you're derailing the conversation to make it about your cock,

which is inherently as funny. Do you think Nick Yinglings has a vein in it? Because it's only half. Well, it has half a vein. Half a vein? It's like in Kill Bill. When they kill anyone. Yeah so. Yiling! Yiling!

Get in here! Show us your penis, Yiling! Get in here! For all new viewers, Nick Yingling is a dear friend of ours. He loves Ludwig's personality. As is Kristen Bell. And Kristen Bell also half a vagina. No dude. You made it crass. How is it crass when it's about a woman's vagina?

Because vaginas are crass and penises are biology. And we all understand the difference. Oh yeah. This was written down in a textbook. It was the first biology textbook. They really kind of... I hereby decree the crassness of the

of the horrible horrible vagina and it's some guy with a big mustache and he's like I just he's gay but he's like

now man now man we all agree our wives vaginas are disgusting the female body is nothing there is no pleasure

I derive from sexual encounters with it and they do not produce poop or gas as we do, man. Ah, yes, yes, we decree. Ah, they all go, ah! That's why it's all disgusting. They hold it all in.

They're all just gay academics. Yeah. And they're just trying to, like, write a textbook and be like, but now let's turn our attention to penises. Ah! Phallic beauty. Long, short, half, full, every single one is by God's decree a beautiful, beautiful work of art. Let's see yours, Harrison.

Very nice. Let's see Harrison's. Yeah, we should probably talk about my loving side here. Speaking of, we should probably get about my Ludwig's Out here Speaking of We should probably Get there You think Seeing penises I went to the spa

The Wii spa You hung out with Ludwig for your birthday With your wieners On your birthday With our wieners out Actually two other people Two other people came too

Dude Okay Don't get defensive Ludwig told me Something really funny Where he's like Yeah Aiden invited One of his friends to the birthday, but didn't explain to them that they'd be getting naked for what they're doing.

That they came and they were like, I have to be naked for this? No, no, no. I hear a hard read. I can see all the shapes in the Matrix code. A portal opens. They are European, and that's how they are. And Aiden didn't need to explain any of that Because they're weird and they poop on each other's chest

They came and they were like confused The German guy was confused It was my friend Daniel Daniel J who Has been to the spa And knows you have to be naked So he knew Is he a guy from Germany?

No he's American He's from where did you miss massachusetts the germany met a met smash camp last year actually kind of and then diesel derrick the ice climbers you took diesel derrick for a for a wild ride yeah derrick derrick has just been to k-town a lot and i thought he knew what Wii Spa was, because Wii Spa is pretty well-known, but I just kind of forgot to explain, because I wanted to see Derek's penis. It's a game you've got to stand on a little pad on the ground.

Yeah, no, and then she goes, Ikimasu! That's Tekken? It's Tekken. Tekken? It's Tekken. I was doing Wii Sports. It's Tekken again.

After you come out of the bath section though There's like a there's a co-ed sort of like lounge area where you can get food and hang out And I don't know people take naps people read whatever and we were up there after you were clothed in that section And while we were hanging out, A was trying to go in the co-ed section naked Yeah, you think it's fucking Starship Troopers or some shit, you weirdo? Yeah. A paradise? This is a fascist paradise? Where we can be naked together? With no fear? Look, we definitely try to smite other planets, but

boobs and penises can coexist. Yeah, we figured it out. And we, uh, while we're in there, Bobby Lee comes in. Oh, that's right. Bobby Lee. It's potentially the funniest person to see. It's the funniest place to see a famous person. Ben Affleck walks in.

You don't need it. And everyone applauds from his horse penis. Bobby Lee walked in and we just noticed him. We're like, what the fuck? This is a place in LA that you can see famous people at pretty frequently, though. And from friends going other times or even being there, there's usually someone you might recognize. It's a lot of role playing. Yeah, I'm imagining just 7,000 realities in my head.

When they told us this before the podcast, we were role-playing how we would have asked him to come on the yard. It's like, hey, Bobby, damn, that's a big vein in that shit. So do you want to come on the yard, Bob? Bobby, your shit looks so thick. Anyway, we have a podcast. It's four people. You'd be five.

My friend has half a penis. Do you want to come see it? Do do you wanna come see it? You wanna come see it? His name is Nick Yngley. Yeah, you know him. You know him! Interesting. From Arizona.

He's going home. Famous in PA circles, Nick Yngley. Oh, they are. That shit looked like a topographical map, dude. What? Why does your shit look like a globe when you touch chile? You're like you flattened out a hockey puck. What?

You stretched it. He's like I have a birthmark? Yeah like it's flat. That shit looks cancerous. That shit looks bad Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee please. Bobby Lee have you checked that out? Are you still talking? He's like, I have a birthmark? Yeah, like, it's flat. That shit looks cancerous. That shit looks bad, Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee's penis.

Bobby Lee, have you checked that out? Are you still talking to the doctor? Bobby Lee, I'm concerned about your penis. Huge fan, by the way. Hour and a half only. Dude, when Bobby's gone, we turned into animals. This is crazy. Because when Dad's gone, we turned into animals. This is crazy. We didn't hit a real-

Because when dad's gone, we don't worry about all the sponsors that we're putting at risk. Oh, yeah, you were right. I'd be like, guys, we can't talk about dicks. Let me tell you- Red Bull is good. I like it. I'll tell you what Red Bull gives you. I'll tell you what Red Bull gives you.

Right now. Red Bull is a great beverage. Red Bull gives you wings. Right now. Red Bull is a great beverage. Red Bull gives you wings. I love it. Dude. That can't go in. That can't go in? That can't go in.

Oh, he's not here! They don't sponsor the yard! They didn't carve us out shit! That's what he... We have a friend who works at Red Bull and that everybody who works at Red Bull gets like a trip to the Austrian HQ at some point. And he's like, I'm not kidding. It's a Bond villains lair. They have taken over a town in Austria.

And it's just like a compound. That's cool. Looks like a like it's in a Bond movie. They got barbed wire and fucking turrets and shit. I hope Juvie gets there. You know what I mean? like it's in a Bond movie. They got barbed wire and fucking turrets and shit. Dude, I definitely have turrets. They have breaker lasers. I hope Juvie gets there. Juvie?

You know what I mean? Oh yeah. I feel like they could have like, they could just take over Morocco. And then Nade's in the compound. Imagine Nade in like a Dr. Evil shiny silver suit.

Hey, Mr. Powers. You think he'd do it if we cast him in something? Hey Nade, we wrote you a script we want you to act for us. You know why he wouldn't?

Because Nate is already rich. He doesn't need more money. And he also, he is reaching the point in his life where he just being cool is worth its weight in gold. And anything that counts against that, and he grew up in Call of Duty, man. So anything that compromises the idea that he might not be cool, it might as well be you know

I think they're I think they're making a really a really interesting play right now The the in-game skins are shifting more feminine over time I'm noticing you can dress up as like a cute girl with cat ears and everyone's using this Popular skins right now. That's Matt Gates is gonna tweet about how Call of Duty is turning the right-wingers into femboys in like a year. It's Warzone Sissy Hypno. The boy.

Finally. Warzone Instructional JOI. Your buddy Brett instructs you to do... No, the guy made of weed instructs you how to beat off in Urzik's tent. Dude, Soap Mac Tavish, J-O-I. Dude, you know more quotes than I do. I couldn't get there fast enough.

Flashbang, through the door. You know how in Madden you pick your offensive play from that quick selection menu? I'm imagining that, but it's like a beat-off game yeah press press x wait would it would you be the person instructing the beat-off it's like a football play but you're telling them how to come yeah you're not the guy this is bird's eye view and you're instructing the guy it's like starcraft for your playstation controller simulator so this actually also got it happened before because i did the gooner voice and some It's like Starcraft for gooners. You're pressing triangle on your PlayStation controller. Top-down goon cave simulator. So this actually also got, it happened before, because I did the gooner voice, and some guy

took a Starcraft clip and put it over the Marines moving. He's like, ready to rock. You got gooners. Dude, it was really funny. Goon tycoon. Goon tycoon? Yeah, and you gotta make the biggest goon cave. It's gotta scale scale up become a corpo

Oh, and you have to you know the toughest thing about Matt and min max in your park in that game Was making sure you had enough enough trash cans, but like not too many that it wasn't Tissue trash kids, but without sacrificing the aesthetic of the space There's a perfect economy of monitors to trash cans that is the biggest for ROI. Yeah, and the algorithms have been working on it tirelessly for years. Mr. Beast actually pays someone to play the game. Dude, it's insane. It's all about building out a goon cave, but you can still put like an orca aquarium in there if you want.

You can have realistic animation. It's a roller coaster tycoon mod it's not so you can still have roller coasters no but it's like arma you know how arma became uh fucking daisy yeah yeah daisy goon tycoon became it was like counter-strike and half-life okay wow valve would buy goon tycoon tycoon and that Neuralink guy Who is like playing chess With his mind Could play Goon Tycoon For fucking six hours a day

And he's using his mind To min-max trash cans In the Goon Cave Yeah As Do you think You know what I think is an ethical application

Of Neuralink This is so fun Okay Look at us Yeah Okay for one also I want to hear what happened With Bobby Lee

Yeah But we'll get back to that Is it Is it I think it's an ethical thing to with this neuro link implant that guy who can't move any limbs right to make him come a lot because he couldn't do it he can't do it anymore right and the brain is the center of i think there's like a tlc show or something there's like a clip of a tlc show he's like crying

where the dude has like a it's it's actually. He has like a muscle disease where he's just constantly orgasming. Wait, is this real? Yes, and he has so many orgasms throughout the day. I probably hate that. And he's like, I live in hell. Because you run out of cum. Yeah, I wouldn't. Your muscles are just spazzing.

Have you ever jerked off 20 times in a day? I definitely wouldn't pay for that to be my life. That sounds horrible. That feels insane to imagine. Like 30 bucks to experience that for an hour. I wouldn't do that. That guy should be

a Red Bull athlete. It's like this. That guy. That guy. He's like one of his influencers and that guy. He's on TLC and he's telling you

about how his... We're all going's telling you about his about how his about how his epididymis won't stop firing but he's got the little embroidered red bull logo on his shirt cause you can't buy the merch you can only be an athlete He's in Australia and he just weighs 130 pounds

and he's just cheering for the fluke, Tom, he's coming We won't give you money, but we will build the good case. We're flying them all out to Dubai. We got Verstappen. We got that one guy that can't stop coming. That's harrowing. It's like that scene in

Kill Bill when she gets into the pussy wagon and she's looking at her toe. She's like, wiggle your huge hog. And he's looking down at it and he's like, wiggle your huge hog. This is Nick Yingling. Wiggle your half penis. Wiggle half your penis. And it's like it was.

A little blood comes out. Showtime. Okay, so what happened with Bobby Lee? Did you talk to him? No. Because Ludwig's there. Bobby Lee most likely would be like, wait, I think I've seen that guy.

None of us talked to him. He was with some very attractive woman who was taller than him. Why would you say that? Just living life to the fullest. That is cool. What they were doing in the co-ed area, there's like fucking saunas and stuff you can go into. And he was just doing that.

He was going from the really hot room that's like 200 degrees. It's like 180 degrees. And then back into the cold room. He just kept doing that anyway ludwig ludwig leaves he he's leaving bobby lee is still in this like co-ed space that is filled with people but and you can you can see everybody in the room okay and ludwig decide when he when he's leaving i start asking him a question about work and he's doing the thing like he's walking away he's like you want an answer and he's like kind I start asking him a question about work and he's doing the thing. Like he's walking away.

He's like, you want an answer? And he's like kind of talking to me as he walks backward. And then when he gets to the doorway to walk out of the building, he turns and he points at me. He's like, 27 is a big one, man.

You look good. You look great, man. And the whole room turns and looks at me. Because he's pointing at me. And then he's like, you, you just, you've been looking better every day. And then he mimes walking out and then he comes back in the room. I think you look really good.

And then he looks over to the rest of the room and then he points at them and he says, Bobby Lee is here. And then he just leaves. Oh my God. What a monster. That's so funny. Was he drunk? No. Dude. Just having fun. He's different now. 200 degrees will

cook up MF-er. Dude, that's so beautiful. He walks out. Bro, he only takes shit from me. This whole thing has evolved from me fucking with him in an airport to give Aiden a miserable experience. I said this.

I told this to Derek and Daniel. I was like, this is insane because this is just his take. This started because we were in a packed airport in Tokyo in the immigration line, and Slime did this across the room. Yo, are you an actor? You look good. And I was like, only in long movies.

You can be in long movies, not short movies. When Slime gets on the plane and starts doing his bit, like, hey, you think there's any bones on the plane? You think there's any bones? And he's saying it to me,

and I'm just like, dude, stop. Stop. That all started, that was a year ago now. It all started because we got put in coach, and Ludwig was in first class.

I was like, I guess we'll go back to the slums. Where all the bones are. I guess we'll go to the dirt fight. I hope there's some dirt and some crud. Hey! If I find any bones, I'll tell you. Are the Biscoffs different up there? Do you know what's funny? I do the same thing that Josh.

There's this video where i'm just like what i found out because josh can get he's very quick and he's very annoying and he can he can do this thing where he knows exactly how to press your buttons in a playful way and i found out how to counter attack every time it like crumples him what you do is he is terrified of public embarrassment. Absolutely terrified. Oh, yeah. So if we're on a plane, which is an enclosed public space, and you just do a slightly loud noise that draws attention to the both of you, he freaks out. He's like, dude, stop. Stop.

You have to stop. Please stop. So I would do this thing because I was on my switch and I'm playing Donkey Kong And he starts fucking like touching it and he's like oh you playing Donkey Kong Oh, and I just turned to him and I didn't know this was weakness and I'm like don't And he just goes white. You're on a plane together when you do this? I'm right now. I'm in the window seat.

You can't yell anything on a plane. I'm in the window seat. He's in the middle seat. I didn't yell it that loud. I was like, donkey! And then there's like a woman sitting to the right of him, and that's our aisle. And he goes, dude, relax.

And I instantly know, like, target locked. I was like, oh, this bothers him. And so he sees my I'm like, and I instantly know that like target locked. I was like, oh, this bothers him. And so he sees my eyes go wide and I just go, don't scream. He's like, dude. And he puts his hand on my mouth. Stop. Just stop. Dude, I can't wait to hang out with John.

Dude. We're going to be in public. I'm going to be. No, I don't want to buy any chocolate bars from you and your mom. I don't want any chocolate. When you're the person, when you're the person, you have so much power in that situation. When you're willing to be the guy, because you could just deflect all the embarrassment to the person who isn't willing to participate.

And then Ludwig had the strat where he does it. He did it on exit. So he's just. He loses nothing. Yeah. He did it on exit. So he's just. He loses nothing. Yeah. He's nothing to lose. And if anything, people are just like, so you're with that guy. Exactly.

The beauty of doing this to someone like me or like Josh is like the only way for us to counter or win is to do it too, which we are too uncomfortable to do. So like Josh could donkey back. I know, but he won't. But he won't because he doesn't like the situation he's in right but it's so powerful I'm the same as Josh I hate

I'm trying to get better at countering because I don't like being a public nuisance but slime doesn't care because the studio audience is laughing the audience is laughing

if they're not laughing out there they're laughing in here yeah right up here brother that's awesome Kristen Bell what do you think

Archie could put something in there how's Dax doing here. Yeah. Right up here, brother. That's awesome. Kristen Bell, what do you think? Ah. Archie could put something in there. How's Dax doing? You still got them sloths that he bought you? I forgot that they're married. He's still doing the pod? Hey. His podcast is so popular. Is it really? It's so popular. Is he pissed that we got his wife on?

Probably. We didn't. Dax. We didn't ask him how we were going to say. Dax, we're going to need a collab soon, or I don't want to we didn't ask him that's how we're gonna say dax we're gonna need a collab soon or i don't want to say what but here's the thing this is this is an old bts relic this has been i think this cardboard cutout is 10 years old i'm not kidding it's it's seven years old and zippers oh yeah he just told me this before that's why the only reason i know those stats is he told me right before um uh's the only reason I know those stats. He told me right before. Yeah, his podcast is fucking huge.

My girlfriend listens to it. Really? My girlfriend listens to it. No way. Dax Shepard. That's pretty good. I listen to a few episodes. Is he on Patreon?

I don't think they do. He just fucking does it for the love of the sport. It is a really interesting combo of that like how they know each other that it's dax and uh i i forget her name she is she was their nanny but then they became really close with her and then they became like best friends and they do the show together now and she's known them for like such an a yeah yeah wonder, like, I don't think it's cool to have a funny nanny. Why? Can I say it?

She's really interesting. Because you don't want them fucking joking around with your kids. What are you talking about? You don't want them fucking. You don't want them. No, let him explain. I don't want them making witty observations to my child. I don't want them subverting expectations around my child.

I don't think that's good. Wow. Because now the child's going to start asking about fucking oatmeal. Saying yes and to dinner. God, that would suck. If you're au pair, because that's what rich people have, right? Yeah. Is that the same thing?

It's probably a little fancier. An au pair is like a live-in nanny. They have your au pair, and they secretly train your child to be an improv kid oh wait hold on why do they have to be an improv kid because i don't know they're free because i don't because i don't know why no what i'm saying is like basically that person has power over your kid to make them oh you don't want your kid to become liberal no being liberal is fine but you well i draw the line at improv. That's what I'm saying here.

Well, you can vote left. Just don't do improv. Just make sure what you're saying is scripted. I see. Pre-written. That's kind of cool, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, they have a good show. Oh, we haven't explained what's going on.

Why Lubbock's not here? Yeah. Right. We still haven't done that. Wow. We're so caught up. Cool. We're so caught up. Cool. We got so caught up

in the whirlwind of life. I've been watching Barry. You still not want to do it? Shadier Subject. The good show. Okay. That's cool.

Okay. It starts as like a comedy but it becomes a drama. You think Nick Yingling talks too big for his britches? No. No.

He's a chihuahua with all the anger inside. You don't think he can hold it down? He starts screaming sometimes and I'm like... He goes no mode. And I'm like, are we gonna go? Nick Yingling? Like, we're either gonna fuck or we're gonna fight. Alright, look, we can explain why Ludwig's

not here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for derailing so much. It's fine, but I also had to think about that because Nick, it's all, he pissed me off before the show. He didn't piss me me off but he yelled at me so loud ludwig's not here well it's actually kind of an intro it's not it's kind of an interesting story so ludwig did he ever say what he's doing with michael publicly can we say it i don't know i don't want to ruin that for him yeah wait the tokyo thing or the yeah has he announced that yeah he said it like a hundred times in the pocket okay i just wasn't sure um so ludwig is working on a motorcycle video with

michael and part of that is he needs to train on a motorcycle and so right now the reason he's not here is he's up with michael and he's riding motorcycles and uh he floated the idea that we could do the yard with michael reeves which i think is something that all everyone who watches would like a lot and i've always i've actually wanted to have him on for a long time so i'm like great but it would require us to drive to where they are practicing which is really far away it's like two hours away um so that's where they are and that's kind of why we're not recording with him kind of but there's but there's also something it's kind of it's not kind i mean it's like it's just there's also another reason why we all it is far it is far we all decided like hey you know what

too far fuck that guy uh that's what we we all thought no no because i did think it was too far i did think it was a little too far to go and do this but i decided you know you said it would be better to do an episode all together we said in the group chat, we're tired of Michael and we're taking a stand. Didn't say that. Don't want. Oh, what? Tell me what the group chat said. Why don't you tell me what the group chat said?

Because you've read it a lot. All right. And you, and you, and you hate, you hate. I hate when people don't read the messages. When people don't read the group chat. I think it's annoying. You hate it. Famously.

I do. So, so, um. It was actually Nick's fault, and I'll explain why after he's done fucking checking. Wow. Wow. It's actually Nick's fault. After he's done yapping his stupid little fucking dick off. That's interesting.

Go ahead. I'm excited. I'm excited to hear how he pulls that off. I want to know how he possibly turns it off. It's actually Nick's fault. So, uh, right. So, so we, so yesterday Aiden has a Nick's fault. So, uh, right. So, so we,

so yesterday Aiden has a really good idea. Uh, I think even before that you had that technically, but he says it again. And the idea is what if we record the patron episode on the car ride up to meeting with Ludwig and Michael in the car? I'd be kind of fun. And, uh,

we're like, yeah, that's great. That's a good idea. I'll set up a road kit so that we can do that. Um, and then I showed kit. I won't laugh. I'll set up a road kit so that we can do that. And then I go... Chode kit. I won't laugh.

I'm too angry. I refuse to laugh. Woo! I post in the group chat, and Ludwig's like, you guys need to be here at 6... We need to start rolling at 6.30 sharp. That's the only way we can do this.

And I'm like, okay. Hey, guys. At here. You know, yellow notification in Discord. The only way to do that is for us to leave from the mogul office at 3.30,

which Slime replies, okay. And Aiden replies, KK. And I'm like, great, we're all on the same page. Two confirmations

of what you've asked. So we're sitting in my car. It's rigged up with cameras. I kind of had to run around to make that possible. And then, you know, 3.30 comes,

Slime's not here. I'm like, oh, it'll be in a few minutes. 3.40 rolls by, 3.50 rolls comes, Slime's not here. I'm like, oh, it'll be here in a few minutes. 3.40 rolls by, 3.50 rolls by, Slime's not here. And I'm starting to get a little worried. Like, my friend's not showing up. Michael also had, like, a hard out.

Like, we had to, he didn't want to stay up too late. Yeah, he didn't want to stay up late. That's part of why we couldn't just be late. But, you know, I'm getting a little worried. When Slime's late, he messages. He'll be like, fuck, sorry, I'm going to be 10 minutes late. I'm good about that. He's not messaging.

I'm good about that. So then, it's honestly, you don't get stamps on your stamp card for this. I always message. So I messaged Slime. I'm like, hey, where are you? And he goes, oh, I'm driving myself up. Aiden immediately is just like, question marks, question marks. And I'm like, bro, what?

You're driving yourself but how would that work with the plan that we communicated about the plan that how would the one that you said okay to how would aiden said in the group chat we were supposed to podcast in the car and i replied while driving because that's what you want we'll actually get to that we'll get to that in a second if he replies in the car I thought that was a meme dear viewer

you know especially those who have maybe watched every episode I want you to think to yourself imagine reversing the roles here imagine is it sexual harassment if the situation reverses? I thought about this a lot. Imagine Slime is me and I'm Slime. And Aiden goes, oh I thought the plan was a joke but I didn't bring that up. How would Slime react to that? No. No.

No. Shut up. Okay. And so then what happens is much more haunting. And then after and then what happens what that happens is much more haunting yes and then after and then what happens just i say i say get your country ass back here which is playful one which is playful yeah that is very one minute one minute after his last message and i say i say with that how far have you even gotten on your journey yeah to this place that is two hours away because it'd be good to know that and a very important detail of the story. Slime does not reply. Dude.

So, so we are in a, we are in a situation because we know he knows we're supposed to record in the car, but we don't know if he's turned around or if he's continuing on. Yep. Slime does not reply for 50 minutes. And we're calling.

Five zero. Just to be clear, we're calling. We're not just messaging. Is he going straight to voicemail? We're calling. And we're calling. 5-0. 5-0. 50. Just to be clear, we're calling, we're not just messaging. Is it going straight to voicemail? We're calling. No, it rings. That's crazy. Yeah, so we're scared now. Yeah.

Well, Aiden, to be fair to Aiden, Aiden's more scared than me, I'm a little mad. Uh, I am a little bit scared in my deep heart of hearts, but I'm more pissed off. Uh, but he was letting- You wouldn't have been scared if I fucking died. That's what this is about. That's what I would be scared about. I was scared of that. Yeah. Because you wouldn't have been scared if I fucking died that's what this is about that's what I would be scared about I was scared of that

because you hadn't replied but if I no what I meant to say is if I fucking died you would have been fucking sad yeah I'd be super sad that's that is unfortunate

because you would have fucked me right before you died I would have fucked you so bad so bad with a big old vein on it too um and so we we were just waiting around

and we're like trying to strategize what to do because we because Michael and Ludwig are on motorcycles we can't ask them what to do we can't ask if showing up late will work we also can't get contact from you so we're just sitting there in the car like what do we do because we're part of us is like well we could just drive up but if you're on your way back then you're going to leave so late that we won't be able to do it once we get there and

we will make a two-hour drive for no reason but if you're on your way there late that we won't be able to do it once we get there. And we will make a two hour drive for no reason. But if you're on your way there and we don't leave now, we'll be too late to do the podcast. And we get to a point where the math no longer adds up and we can't do it. Like Michael's schedule isn't going to work for us anymore. And we can't get there in time. Okay. So cut back to my POV.

All right. So you're a life is a highway. You're just singing, you're drumming on the steering wheel. Literally, this conversation happens and I'm like, oh, fuck. And so I don't even, I still thought it was a meme. Because what happened in the group,

let me explain what happened in the group chat. I want to know what happened in the group chat. Because Nick was saying, he sent a message earlier in the group chat that day. He was like, anyone have any ideas for new Patreon shows? We want to do more stuff. And I instantly replied with these two ideas that are like, we talked about these before.

And I instantly replied. And then I see my phone light up after I set it down, and it's Aiden replying with what looks like a four-line message. And I, what I didn't do was read it because I thought it was just more suggestions. So I didn't read it. So it's my fault, if I could summarize. It's my fault because I gave you too much to read.

Aiden gave me too much to read because you said something. Right. If you were dead, this never would have happened. Do you understand? So you're like Lud never would have happened so you understand you're like ludwig you only read the last thing that was posted that day i did okay i don't know i was just i had a headache i don't know i didn't feel like it so what we did so i told aiden i let aiden in on a secret that i have two depression drinks i have two if you ever see me drinking these you can you can know that i had a bad day oh no with certainty dr pepper and no it's root beer and that means i

had a medium bad day that's like that's like you know i didn't really get to work on a product i really want to work on i got some bad news and then uh you know really bad day i'm really feeling it is milkshake oh no and so and so i go to aid and i say here's what we're gonna do because he's like what do we do wait wait let well let me explain what happened okay go ahead i'm i'm started driving so i didn't see this part i thought it was a meme i was like oh they're gonna leave from the office because you're always at the office and aids always at the office and i'm at home playing my tiny little shit well that's not the reason why the reason why is because i said we're gonna leave from the office well that's what i know what i'm saying why is because I said we're going to leave from the office. Well, that's what I know. I'm saying what I assumed.

Okay. And it's like, okay, leave from the office. I don't fucking care what you're texting me for. I know how to get to a place in time. Yeah. All right. I get that. You were saying okay to the first part, not the second part.

Yeah. Yeah. And so, and I was like, okay, I'll just leave my own fucking nasty little ass. My nasty little man's going. Where it is, it's north of LA. And so it fucking, it, the, the, and so it fucking it, the route that it took me was through the mountains. You can either go like around

or you can go through. I've never taken this before. And as soon as I'm already singing Country Roads, so I might as well. As soon as I got that message, it went, I went dark. You went dead zone? I literally, it was SOS Satellite only and and then said plus bald my phone

Starts googling this is a jump back word fiction Yeah, so it jumps back and he's like would it ring if he was in a dead zone? And it was probably right around the time you said I'm in a dead zone And then I go I I don't know. And he Googles it. He's like, no, it wouldn't. It says it wouldn't ring if you just trust Google. It wouldn't ring if he's in a dead zone. So now we're like, well, maybe he was trying to message us and got in an accident.

Because he was using his phone while driving. Worst, yeah. Because that's what you wanted. And so now we're like, well, in my head, I'm like, well, now it's even worse if we go up to fucking north. Because then maybe we aren't able to help you if you're in an accident. You know, dude. OK, so my thought process, too, is like I'll just keep driving until I get service. It can't be that long.

Oh, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Like I've lived in the mountains. It should be 10 minutes. I've lived in the mountains. Like usually you don't lose service for a 50 fucking minute stretch. Yeah, yeah. Especially in California. It's like, yeah, but it was no fucking minute stretch. Yeah. Yeah, it's actually California

It's like yeah, but it was no no it was yeah It was dead and I was like closer you get to NorCal the more zombies you start to see and like barren wasteland And there's no internet. Yeah, and like people like they were they're like they make internet a fiber where you're there American flags planted in the yards, and I said fucking Semper Frag. Semper Frag. To that. And so I see this, and I'm like, okay, I'll just wait until I get service, and I'll see what's going on.

But then I thought, I was like, you know what? They'll probably, because the more important thing or whatever is to come and just do the pod, they'll probably just go without me. Yeah. Right? And I just kind of like gambled on that. Yeah. Which, that's what it is.

It's a gamble. When you have no service, you have to gamble. So I don't really, I don't really fall either decision. Yeah. It was just, I mean,

I fucked up way earlier. Yeah. So it's like, all right, we're just trying to, we're just trying to win it all back. Yeah. So you don't have service for 50 minutes and we're waiting in the car discussing options,

discussing how you might've gotten in an accident. And then we finally get a message that says, sorry, I lost service for 50 minutes. It was so good because we were just like, fucking finally, we can make a decision on what to do. Yeah. And Aiden's like, what do you want to do? And I think about it and I'm like, well, I know I want a milkshake. Is that part of this story somehow? And I'm like, I'm like, okay, this is what we're going to do.

I'm going to Google most fucked up milkshake in LA and we're going to go get it. And we're going to do the premium episode. Well, what you guys decided to is we kind of talked about it and you were like, I was like, I can drive back. I fucked this up. Like, you know, we can drive back when you do the pure mode at night. Like I'm ready to work. Yeah.

You know? And then you, you said like a low keykey we don't feel like doing it uh i think me and aiden will just do the primo and i was like in the shame cube and i'm like i feel that yes yeah that's true that's pretty true that's true that's pretty true yeah and i was you know in the movie we were making i was like i was like i'm taking feelings that i've really felt as a person in real life and writing a story about how Slime doesn't get a milkshake. We get the milkshake. And it's because he fucked up.

And so I was like, Aiden, when I come back home and I just have a big milkshake, guys, look what I got. I got some on the way home. I fucking blow my brains out. So me and Aiden, we found a place that makes fucked up milkshakes. And the premium episode this week is going to be that journey. So it's me and Aiden going to get milkshakes. They do $7 CBD add-ons. Mine came with a candle in it and a pack of matches to light the candle.

All this is serious. Light his milkshake. I got a unicorn milkshake. It had a horn in it. So if you're not already in the Patreon and you have any interest in rounding out this story with the conclusion or with the pre-clusion. What's the prelude? What is it?

Pre-clusion. One of the milkshakes has the other half of Nick Yingling's book in it. But it's like the Monopoly game at McDonald's. You get a lot of park places, you only get one. Itopoly game at McDonald's. Dude, you know, you get a lot of park places.

You only get one. I'm realizing that, um, you know how like when Ludwig is gone, we kind of, we get, we get wild. We get wild.

I get more wild when both of you are gone. No. Yeah. You got crazy wild. There was, there was some parts of the episode where I was, I think he's turning into a right wing pundit. I'm scared.

There was a few moments in the car. We were talking about liberal high school, which I was saying it kind of like if it was a Dimension 20 campaign, like liberal high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were just talking about what they teach there. Just the courses. Yeah, intro to pronouns, et cetera.

But it definitely lasted too long. And Aiden's just receiving it because there's no one to help him. And also, I refuse to move on. I just don't know where this is going. Yeah, I was just sitting there, and I'm just like, I'd say something, and Aiden would say nothing for like three minutes I'm like crying and I would be like Yeah, so do you want to add to that one or should I think of another bit you don't like? It was just

It was just delving into layers of insanity Nick's fucked up mind wasn't a meme anymore. It was like oh It was off the milkshake. It was unfurling in front of me What did I say on the way back this didn't make the podcast with the vaccines and the no no no no that made it that made it that made it when we were walking with the milkshakes what would i say to you about mr bean oh it's in the show no no it didn't make it because no this is what we were walking we're not in the car we stayed in the car mode on the walk to milkshakes and back.

But he didn't record. But he was talking about all the fucking Mr. Bean, all the Mr. Bean jokes he was trying to come up with while he was at the Bean in Chicago. So I'm like, dude, you're manic right now. What is happening? He's just in a state you've never seen before. Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen Nick like this.

So I remember what I said. I said't think I've ever seen Nick like this. So, I remember what I said. I said, I'm on our bean, mister. And then, and then, and then, me and Aiden start laughing. We're walking with these huge milkshakes.

We're walking with these huge milkshakes, and we start laughing. And Zipper sees us like in the car, like walking and laughing, and he thinks we're laughing and zipper sees us like in the car like walking and laughing and he thinks we're laughing because of the milkshakes he thinks we're laughing because we just have these we're joyous of these milkshakes that we have and it's cured everything it's like fucking strict but he saw

us right when I said that and so we got in the car he was like it's so funny how big you guys were smiling I just didn't tell him what we were talking about I was like yeah i'm happy because of the milkshake oh my god uh dude that that episode inspired me i think i think that it would be so fun to do that more because i just wanted the whole time i should have just done this but a whole time I just wanted to roll down my window and yell at people like, not like ruin their day,

but I just wanted to be like, hello, sir. Do you think that my son looks normal? I wanted to like, yeah. Also, we would,

the milkshake place we went to is on Hollywood Boulevard, like right where the stars are and shit. And I was like, we're going, we're about to go James Corden mode. Like he's going to open the door. It's dangerous and close. And then everybody on this street

is ready to get in this fucking car because they just think this is where it has to be. This is their break. Yep, they think this is. But meanwhile, it's the yard Patreon. You know, I saw that piece of shit walking in my old job in downtown LA once. Corden?

In the morning. He was like, he ran past me. I thought I was going to be on TV and shit, but I didn't make the cut. I should've tripped him. Tabletop'd him? Dude. His little dumbass. Fucking falling over.

Oh, man. Yeah. He falls like the first at Mars 64 boss. He's got a band-aid on his back. He got a ground pounded three times I always thought the bandaid was so cute because who was stomping on him before someone was he's been hurt already

Mario does that because he heard people do this that fucker Luigi comes here once a week so in the Patreon episode that you'll see after this if you're in the Patreon I drank I think a 3000 calorie milkshake. And I'm not kidding.

It's the worst I have felt in years. Yeah. You are moving different. I got back and I was dizzy. And I was getting such a crazy sugar rush and crash that I was like, I couldn't drive home. I just kind of sat there drinking water. Also, your thighs look like Squidward in that one episode.

Yeah, I got Squidward's. Where he finds all those crabby thighs. And you got Squidward's nose. It's like, I don't want Squidward's nose. Dude, oh yeah, that hurt him. That wounded him. And you know what doesn't wound you or your digestive system? It's Factor.

And I was thinking, like, if I had a Factor meal to wash it all down, I think I'd get Popeye arms. I need its food so badly. Well, there's one thing you can guarantee that Factor is not, and it's a 3,000-calorie milkshake that makes you old. It's not 3,000 calories. They have calorie-smart meals, so there definitely isn't that. You save money, save time.

They're nutritious. Chef-prepared meals delivered straight to your door. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, brinner. But that's more of like an idea, spiritual idea. It's more working on that one. Yeah, it hasn't really released yet. Brinner, not even really on the slide, actually. If you're not really too calorie conscious,

but you want something high protein, they got that covered. 35 different meal choices a week. Actually, the milkshakes also had about 35 choices, which I'm realizing maybe isn't a coincidence. And you could add CBD into the milkshakes. Factor might be working on that, but right now it's CBD free. Factor, you can get the indica or the sativa meals, but that's in beta.

A few lucky Factor subscribers get their meal spiked. And it's just, you're out for a wild time. get their meal spiked. And it's just, you're out for a while time. But I would say that isn't true. But what is true is you can go to the factory meals.com slash the yard 50 and get 50% off 50% off that half off your first box. It's also known as half.

Why is there an L in that word? When you spell it, who cares about it? Who cares? The yard 50 factory meals.com. God, if you hate disgusting 3000 calorie milkshakes that you get on Hollywood Boulevard, then you'll love Factor Meals.

America's number one ready to eat milk. You can love both. You can love both. Because Factor is about loving both. One love. Factor, brought to you by Bob Marley. I saw who was ordering the milkshakes. None of them looked like they ordered Factor.

The maker's a Factor. Factor Meals presented by Bob Marley. I saw who was ordering the milkshakes. None of them look like they ordered Factor. The maker's a Factor. Factor Meals presented by Bob Marley. Come on. Factor Meals presented by Bob Marley. The Rasta Rice. The Rasta Rice.

One love. And Kristen Bell. The Ya Man Yams. She's here for real. And she... Let's just... This is gonna go on forever. Her and Dax usually

just put a pop of Factor. Not officially endorsed Factor. But she probably would. Their kids of Factor. That's not officially endorsed Factor. But she probably would. Their kids love Factor. Let's go back. Let's go back. We'll do this all night. You know what's funny, too, about the whole situation

was that Ludwig was no phone mode. He's riding a motorcycle until like 5 p.m. Yeah. And so he literally just comes back to this Keyblade graveyard of a group chat. Oh, my God. And like, he must have told Michael he's like okay this is the plan this is the plan whatever and then he just comes home

probably did one quick scroll kind of got the gist that it wasn't happening. He read the discord notification that summarizes the conversation now and it's just like the boys are mad at each other. And he simply said R.I.P. that was it he just said rip and I haven't heard from him since I haven't talked to him since yeah

yeah that's funny didn't you reply didn't you reply to the milkshake photo uh he did he said cute

I posted a photo of him that'd be funny to give no context to that wait he's probably still on the thing I'm gonna make a fucking I don't think he's done a Hail Mary

cause imagine maybe he picks up no context to that. Wait, he's probably still on the thing. I'm going to make a fucking Hail Mary. I don't think he's done until tonight. Because imagine. Maybe he picks up. Dubbin. Dubbin. Calling Dubbin. Called Dubbin. It's just not even ringing.

You say Dubbin before like moving the Counter-Strike case around for good luck. Maybe he'll answer. Shaking it, yeah. Can't do that anymore. It sucks. Couple rings.

Not going to happen. Mosh Not gonna happen Mosh mosh Mosh mosh Hello man I like you man That's what he says now Alright Oh well Well

Sorry guys Zoomer attention span He can't even let it Get to voicemail They'll have Dubbin back Next week And I'll be gone Next week

Yeah What are you doing We got some shit to figure out because uh i'm going to japan with ludwig yeah so so aiden messaged me and he was like we should he sent me like me and you in a dark room man we do two podcasts a week in a dark room and secrets for secrets together and then i was like what are you talking about and then he explained why because i didn't read the group chat again. It's been a long week.

A lot of talking. And then I was like, let's just go to Nippon, Jit. Oh, yeah. And he said, I can't. It also probably, because of what we're doing, probably wouldn't work. Doesn't line up either. Fuck it. I'm busy, man. So you're going with ludwig for two weeks

to film his shit with michael yep this is the most chaotic the schedule's ever been what if what if i only come like no both of us i don't know here's my here's my plan i don't want to i'll say it but it doesn't happen people are gonna be sad what i want to do is i want to record a trash chase episode with ludwig and them when we're there and then you guys can do the premium and we'll have sure we'll have days you know we'll have a week away from each other I'm only gone for one episode yeah okay because I leave on a Tuesday and I'm gone for 12 days and then we can do the premium with Josh man Josh or some shit Josh I head to Josh the thing is we're all doing shit we're all doing shit right now Ludwig's gonna go to Japan Nick's going with him They're going for like fucking three weeks.

I also have to miss Unpaid Intern. So I have to figure out that. Isn't that your thing? I gotta hire someone to direct. So I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing for that yet. I'll direct. I got it. Alright, so he'll direct. I'm glad we got that sorted. You'll be in Japan. I'm going to see the solar eclipse next

week. Oh god. With Michelle Obama. Yeah with Michelle again Yeah They would get along. Oh, they would get along Famously, Michelle. We do you we'd have so much Gosh golly gee loved you in that iCarly episode Was she in an iCarly episode? Yeah.

It was the same one where Sam made a wire reference. That also happened. Wow. A lot going on. Dan Schneider probably wasn't asking her to take her shoes off. It would be really weird if he was like, okay, all the weird shit, yeah, but also, can you say this wire line

as an Easter egg for grown adults you guys see all that like new shit that's coming out by nickelodeon yeah there's a documentary that came out i don't watch it new dan schneider and shit well no there's just like more like over like dude there's like a i saw there was already a lot i'm sure it looks it looks pretty it looks pretty real but i haven't looked into it at all uh there was a clip from some podcast, which I think was a person who was on Zoey 101 or maybe on the crew or maybe on the cast talking about like filming that show. And then they're showing scenes that like made the show of stars kissing with an age differential of like 20 and like 14.

And like it's all in the show that went out. Yeah. And like you could- Aired on the television. Anyone who watched the show could have just verified the ages, like looked at the ages. Yeah. It's interesting how looking back, we like recognize how wrong that is, but it was happening live.

It wasn't secretly happening. It was happening live. It was, yeah, not even like, it was broadcasted. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, it's, yeah, it's fucked. It's pretty grim. The clips are fucked.

Yeah, and then the Ned, you know, Ned keeps talking mess. Ned's talking about how he's, well, wait, what is it? Ned was saying some shit. No, that's different. What? Wasn't it different? They were both kids. They were dating.

No, no, no, no. Ned was like talking. Are we not talking about the same clip right talking he are we not talking about the same clip right now we're not talking the same clip i don't know if he knows what he did got in trouble with gang and them okay because he was talking mess he was basically belittling the experience of like the people from the documentary he was joking about it a lot oh i think we're talking about how he has his own podcast yeah yeah and how they talk about beaten yeah that was an earlier thing but he got into some because it was pretty insensitive because it's like dude

yeah you were you know it's your cohorts in a way it's like it could have happened to you yeah but uh dude i'm i that one bite character is still so funny to me is dan schneider in jail or did he like get house arrest he's just just Dan Schneider. I don't think he got any formal charges. Jail. Ankle monitor. It's like a cock ring to that guy. He probably loves that. There's been no official lawsuits? What? How do you make it out of that?

I can't believe you missed that. I didn't. I'm reading. I'm sure it was very funny, sweetheart. That was great. I like that one. It is currently unlikely that he will be arrested or put in jail for his misconduct during his Nickelodeon days. Him and P. Diddy. We got to lock them both up. I think someone could pay some serious Bitcoin to make something happen. And it won't be anyone who works on this show.

Absolutely not. Because I don't have any. And also, Kristen Bell is safe, Dax. I think if I... Look, if we can't say... If we can't threaten pedophiles... What are we, Aiden? What are we? It's still a crime.

It's not fair! It shouldn't be a crime. It shouldn't be a crime. Am I crazy? I should be able to make a lightsaber and use it on a pedophile. I want to... I will say right now, if a lightsaber gets made by science, we should try it on Dan Schneider's neck. This is like- We should- like Sephora tries to make it on pigs, we should use it on pedophiles to make sure it works.

Is that not insane to say? Alright, that's fine. These are fine. Thank you. These are fine. Alright, I feel good. This is like when Nick Yingling threatened to break that random person on her

team's arm in Valorant. I was like, you can't do that. Breaking an arm is a little much. You can't say that. The thing is it's fun. You just have to wish death upon family members that they might be playing with. No. If Dan Schneider's on your Valorant team, do you throw? Do I throw?

Yeah. Oh yeah. you tank is he? Tanked Angelo, but I'm not gonna make a credible death threat on the Valorant like fuck not Schneider's playing cs2 and not go because you can see your feet in this one? No, because they're all adult characters. Oh, you don't fuck with that? Yeah, you don't fuck with that. He likes kid feet and terrorist feet. Yeah, really weird sections of the brain crossing there.

Man. I wish I would do, having watched so many DCOMs, I want my shot. I want my shot at one. I want to make a dcom oh do we we would we have seen i think we've seen i'll do it their way we'll do it their way i'll do it their way i'll make it i'll make it fun for the family i can write a dcom you can give me the

worst fucking actors in the world and we can make it work oh uh protagonist of 2024 dcom what blue hair and a cape that was basically the whole preview of episode that summarizes one bit the whole time until we until we got saved by vaccines

and magnets until we well the thing is the vaccine doesn't have the magnets the vaccine has the metal and the booster has the magnets

and the booster has the magnets and that's why that's why Dr. Fauci is such a genius he wants wait what hold on your character that you're doing here And that's why Dr. Fauci is such a genius. Wait, what?

Hold on. Your character that you're doing here is pro-vaccine? No. No. His conspiracy theory is the genius of his torment. The reason they want us to give the booster is because once you take the booster, it connects to the metal because the booster has the magnets. And then every, and then at the press of a button,

every liberal who took the vaccine can be bloodbended like that. That's exactly right. I didn't realize you listened. Yeah.

No, I was there. I was there. This is funny because I thought for a second your character developed some sort of arc.

He becomes pro-vax. He was like, you know what? There's a lot I don't agree with, but the vaccine I thought for a second your character developed some sort of arc. He becomes pro-vax. He was like, you know what? There's a lot I don't agree with, but the vaccine really did save lives. I want you to picture the end of X-Men when it's like Ian McClellan fucking warping all the metal and the people and he's doing that. It's just Dr. Fauci doing that. To liberal blood. To liberal blood.

It's Dr. Manhattan. Yeah. And that's how he controls the army that will coup this great American democracy. Here's the thing now. What if Fauci can be turned? What if, wait, to be turned? To be turned, because let's be real,

the true patriots didn't take the jab. Yeah. You know? My poor, my friend's wife, she had to get it for her damn job and she shakes

like a fucking chihuahua now. And I feel bad for her because they keep her down in the cellar now. They don't want the damn kids to catch it. She shakes like

she's hotting an egg in there. And all she yearns for is the sweet release of death. My wife looks like a damn Harlem Shake video. Literally turning Fauci too. A stoner. We need Wiz. We need Wiz to leave a rope

He can do it He can save us all Wiz can turn Fauci into a stoner Hand me the button Dude it's uh It's the picture of Jesus Taking the heroin needle It's the vaccine

And it's Fauci Admit it's the vaccine and it's Fauci and the devil dude that is crazy that's a hard back piece that's a hard full back piece that could be the best yard merch ever made it's just it's uncomfortably close to real I don't like him either they didn't i don't like fauci either bro of course it's what's

happening to us for real dude this is like open your third eye think about the taylor the taylor swift super bowl joe biden thing this is like this is like on par with that i think right now if nate shot was in this room instead of beautiful kristen bell cardboard cutout i think he would actually shit his own pants he'd be like yo you guys low-key like you're honest on the no cap yeah rg could you put a bar uh when we inevitably get vaccine information misinformation banner under this video can you just put another one above it that says it looks exactly like it and says just kidding everything you're reading below Is false?

We're gonna get one of those fucking YouTube Have you seen those like YouTube community notes things that's like any video that discusses the vaccine it links. That's what I'm saying Yeah, it's the Wikipedia article. We're gonna It puts the Wikipedia article for the vaccines below the video as like a supplemental link. We're gonna get that. Wikipedia, huh? And probably Jan 6. We should, yeah, we should go for the bingo card, truly. Yeah. Are we pundits now?

I mean, Nick is. Well, I don't want to, look, I didn't say anything that wasn't demonstrably untrue. Everything I said, everything I said can be verified with maybe not liberal science, but patriot science. He's going on with JP next week. Yeah? We were talking a lot about JP, too.

You really? JP? I said, I haven't listened yet, but I already know it should be in the textbooks. Dude, Destiny and JP talked. Dude, they did. I tried. Because I was curious, and JP talked. Dude, they did. They probably figured out.

I tried. Because I was curious, and I listened to it. I was like, I want to die. Why would the... I can't do JP. Can you do JP? That's so hard. It's kind of like...

It's Canadian Kermit the Frog. Canadian Kermit the Frog. Why would a woodpecker chuck if a woodchuck could chop wood? I can't do JP with JP, man. I don't know. What was that? I love it. You're trying to get in the mood.

I actually don't listen to him a lot because he's so fucking annoying. It'd be like... Yeah, I haven't done enough. There seems to be a misunderstanding. Some of us don't know. No, that's a duck and evil. I can't get there. I need to dig deep.

He's closest right now. I'm like filing against like French Peter Griffin. You're closest right now. Yeah, I can Dr. Evil. This is tough. I can't get there. I need to dig deep. He's closest right now. I'm like filing. You're our only hope and you're closest. French Peter Griffin. You're closest right now. Yeah, I can't do it. It's fine.

What do you got? Dr. Peterson. True dough. True dough. Is it? True dough. My country is reducing.

No, fuck it. I can't. I'm warping into something else. That's okay. We all have homework to do. I can't. I can't do. I canping into something. That's okay. We all have homework to do. I can't do his fucking arterial accent. We all have homework to do.

We'll come back next episode. Lovey will be unprepared and we'll all be fucking really good. Let's all dress as Jordan Peterson as the Joker. Dude.

He always wears some suits that you're like, what are we doing, man? It's one of those, like, direct-to-Japanese hotel movies of like, it's the right-wing Joker, and it's Jordan Peterson, and Gotham is downtown LA. He's trying to take oat milk out of the schools. He doesn't fight really anything

He just has facts and logic Batman kind of looks like me There's no weapons He doesn't even have a bed He just lives in an apartment He's on a weird carnivore diet Or I guess Batman would be the right wing joker would be the liberal how's joker what are you talking about well because in if jordan

peterson's a joker he's not but in batman if batman was made by the right then batman would be the hero because he yeah so then oh so the joker is a liberal enemy. Yes. So, well, Joker already has green hair. Well, he does have green. Oh, my God. Maybe he Christopher Nolan. Well, he didn't make Joker, but maybe he was already onto that. Maybe, dude, was Harley Quinn a barista? I have a Harley Quinn. What is it?

His queer barista girlfriend? Yeah. His liberal arts girlfriend. The Joker's trying to put safe spaces in Gotham. And Batman just finds and beats the shit out of him. And Batman's just trying to put more black rifle coffee on the street corners. I have a partner, Shannon. Where's the filters?

More Bible on every table. I know it's just like normal coffee. It's like a branding. I want to grow the beans in America. It's like my values. I don't care if the soil's worse. And the weather doesn't work. There's only two genders!

It's always been that way! Oh, Two-Face is both the genders? Oh! Wait a minute, no no no, he's an enemy. So he has to be something else. He's a binary that they hate. He's 50-face. Yeah. No, it's worse. No, he's gender fluid. He's non-binary.

He flips the coin. Okay, yeah, that's condescending. Yeah, that's good. That's bad. It's good because it's bad. Yeah, good because it's bad. It's condescending It's like what what is it to face you just wake up decide you He's in the hospital because he got the vaccine Who is a right-wing fear-mongering liberal the penguin who's that the penguins exactly the same Unchanged still Colin Farrell who I just found out plays the penguin didn't know I didn't know that either till way later

It just doesn't look like all of them. They made him weird. I didn't realize it was um Barry Keegan as the Joker in like the teaser at the end of the new one who's that oh yeah Joker it's the guy remember when we did the accent challenge you had to guess what he had to say on the screen oh that guy he's in the teaser at the end of the Batman movie he's the Joker guy oh he's going to be the next Joker. And the Irish Joker. Irish. Yeah. We kind of already made the prostate monster.

We already made the prostate monster. I feel like we wrote that character a little bit. The Irish prostate monster, oddly enough, also with the Joker is after his Batman's prostate. Oh, Bruce. Why don't you come over here? I need to do this chair. Let me just spread them open. I'm going to get a little reach under the cane.

All of these ideas work together beautifully. Every idea from the past 30 minutes. This is what the car ride was like. This is what the car ride was like. He was going psycho mode. And Aiden couldn't play along. You wouldn't play ball with him? You wouldn't suck his penis with him?

Look, it's like my own penis. I was Marilyn Manson myself. It's tough for me to play ball sometimes. Okay. He was getting carried away. No, our, me and Aiden, whenever, every time we do like advice show or anything like that, our dynamic is always like me trying to break Aiden down. Yeah.

And agree with me on something he shouldn't. Oh, okay. It's like always. I like giving him a stage to explore a bit. No, I'm not gonna. I like putting him in a little, like, a little, I like building like a little Minecraft fence and he's like my cow that I'm eventually gonna kill for meat. Dude.

And he gets to kind of like graze around and like do a bit here and do a bit there. It's so huge. And then one day, boom boom electric shock to your fucking brain we it's on the way something about this is how i know like like we we get immersed in storytelling like when i put a minecraft in a one by one fence square i feel bad in real life yeah yeah i feel guilty for it humans are good at this and a nazi made the cow do you feel like here yeah that's true i should be torturing this because you know what he's not here right now it's the cow yeah the cow didn't you one of my friends his parents one of my friends from college uh worked on our

minecraft server a bunch and he was always really into optimizing minecraft servers and he made this farm it's an iron golem farm where it spawns iron golems into a pit of lava and just automatically makes iron ingots and you just trap and murder uh the iron golems over and over again you grow them to kill them and harvest them and i felt a little bad it's crazy. I think in Minecraft, they should make it so machines that automatically do that should just be bloodstained. Yeah.

At least show something. Pay some mental price. Yeah, exactly. You can do the same thing. You can trap and kidnap villagers to do your will. Ugh. It's like in Link's Awakening,

the Game Boy Zelda game, you could steal from the shop. It was harder to do. You could get away from the guy. It was harder to do. You could get away from the guy and get out of his line of sight and take some shit. And if you came back into the shop, he would call you a thief

and you would be branded as thief for the rest of the game, all caps. You could not change your name and he'd fucking kill you. And you'd have to wake up with thief. Even in the very final end of the game, where it's like,

Link, you saved the world. Thief. It's fucking sick. It's like the pirating like if they know you're playing a pirate yeah yeah with your game fuck with your game and so without shit in Minecraft if you build some sort of haunting slaughter machine mm-hmm because we have those in real life we don't need to make them in Minecraft no you build some slaughter machine you are branding your hardware ID motherboard and they're called public schools all you do is make me fucking think dog I know dude and the Aiden is a like listening it's like Aiden's all three monkeys cuz like I'm doing this I'm doing this. I'm trying to fucking I don't have a hat.

I want one. I'm trying to open my mind dude. Yeah? Why do you think snapbacks have the hole for the third eye? That's why we wear them this way. Look at me.

Don't look away. Look at me. Look at him. Yup. Man, yup. You like that? Here I am. Because I'm not looking at you.

That's the thing. I'm looking through you. You're translucent. Hold my hand, Kristen. Do you think Kristen Bell would have had fun on this episode? I think we definitely would have talked about other things. We would have talked less about what we did today. I don't think so.

You don't. Would have kept that shit real. Would have kept it real. Okay, no. What would Kristen Have talked about Right We don't really know

Much about her I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall And half an episode Of Veronica Mars I don't know What the fuck she's about You ever watch The Good Place

Nope She's in Party Down right Nope She's not Nope Isn't that her In the third season maybe Isn't she the

I didn't watch the third season Am I mixing up Kristen Bell With Who's the Who's the one That the maybe? Isn't she the... I didn't watch the third season. Am I mixing up Kristen Bell with... Who's the one, the stuck-up girl who runs the other catering service? If you're talking about season three... No, no, no. It's season... Not season three. Is it Kristen Bell?

Isn't that Kristen Bell? It probably is. Zipper! I forget. Party Down. Kristen Bell. Maybe we talk about Party Down. We say

What was it like Working with Martin Starr And then she'd go Wait which one's Martin Starr Is he the It's the hard sci-fi Oh yeah Yeah

And then she'd be like It was cool And then we'd sit We'd make her sit in silence I don't want to be mean to Martin Starr You'd make Kristen Bell Sit in silence on our show Yeah

15 minutes straight. What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uta. Her name is fucked. Have you seen Barry? No, dude. Dude, there's a character in Barry that reminds me of if I slammed you and Caleb together.

Really? Because he has this. Zipper laughs before you even describe you can you bring up a clip of noho hank from barry noho hank um dude his accent because this guy does not have an accent in real life but he he's this part is caleb not you but he has a completely bald shaven head and shaven eyebrows and he plays like uh where are they from they're They're from... North Hollywood. No, no, no, no. He's from like Russia or something. In the show.

But his accent is fucked. It is fucked. And it reminds me of you when you just do like a random Eastern European accent. Oh. But he looks like Caleb. Oh.

It's crazy. That's kind of fun. You would love this character. I don't know. If you end up finding it. Okay. Since we're all about to die in a moment, I have to be honest about something. What?

I mean, this is a bad clip. I need my submarine sandwich. I'm polite. He does look a lot like Caleb. Dude, it freaks me out. And I can host you all in heaven and make you delicious appetizers. This isn't it.

You're lied. I missed the wrong clip. You lied. If you got the right clip, you would laugh. It doesn't sound. You're lied. I missed the wrong clip. You lied. If you got the right clip, you would laugh. It doesn't sound like me, man. Right, man? It doesn't sound like him, man. It doesn't sound like that.

That's correct. It doesn't sound like that. You know, our buddy, our friend, Zekin, won a Valorant tournament. He got a big old cup. He won. Yeah, they won a huge cup. A lot of clips without people drinking out of it. A gigantic cup. I hope they didn't pass that cup to him.

They didn't pass that, whoa. Wait, they were in Madrid. It's chill in Madrid. Oh, it's chill in Madrid. Wow. But they won, they won the big Valorant tournament, right? So what do you think Zeckin's gonna get up to in his free time now that he won the big tournament?

Probably gonna fucking play something. Probably never play again. Dumbass game. No, he literally said, I can't wait to play more. He lied. He doesn't like value. I can't wait to play more and get better. No, he doesn't mean that.

He's setting up competitive Mario Kart Wii as we speak. No way. Just unpromptu. I have nothing to do with this. Oh my god. I found out through a different friend who plays who plays competitive mario kart and is like arguably the best player in the world and he's been making a lot of youtube videos recently his name his tag is frozen and frozen messages me out of the blue

no context do you have an extra mario kart disc frozen doesn't live near me i was like um like not really he was like well zack's one I was like how do you know and they're putting together a Mario Kart competitive scrim with his second and jerk another like semi-professional Valorant player because they both want to play competitive Mario what yeah he would get so good at that game. He's a grand champ in Rocket League. Yeah, he's just a gift. He's just built for it. He's a gifted gamer. Hey, Zekken, try the one that rhymes with your name.

Zekken. Oh. I would love to see him get really good at that game, because I like it more than Mario Kart Wii. Well, Mario Kart Wii is better. You think Mario Kart Wii is better than Tekken 8? You can say it. it yeah what do you feel i mean yeah you'd be the only guy who has vocalized this opinion in the world people

here answer this question honestly will people be playing tekken 8 20 years from now competitively still no wait play tekken whatever came out wait hold on i think that's a valid point my counter would be, what is your answer to that if they never make another Tekken? Probably no. I think the fighting game fans are pretty fleeting. It is interesting.

I think more people, well... If the Tekken 8 servers went offline, I think... This is actually a good thought experiment. In traditional fighting games like this, if the game gets capped and no more sequels will ever come out i think they're more likely to start going back down the ladder to the one they like the most yeah which would be like i don't know would it be tekken 8 i don't know all the tekken's i i don't know like tag is the competitive scene

for mario kart we larger than mario kart 8 uh no deluxe is deluxe is huge in the it's like a pretty similar dynamic to ultimate melee oh has a competitive scene specifically as big um i don't mean players obviously that one crushes it but no but like competitive ultimate is bigger than melee still like yeah i'm just saying i'm just saying i didn't know that game had a competitive scene at all yeah yeah eight deluxe does and it's kind of like newest game, biggest game. So naturally people are going to try and take it seriously. And then Wii is like the one that persists alongside of it. I would say.

Don't we have BB Ouija? BB Ouija. Yeah. You can play BB Ouija. He's really bad. I like when he says his own name. It is a nice one. It's cute when he says it.

I just thought. It is crazy. He's the best American Val american valorant player he has just won a championship in a game that is incredibly popular watched and played by millions and millions of people and he's like what am i gonna do with my time off he's getting yeah he's logging on to freakstagram let me boot up funky conk he's he's answering the call of freaky bob yeah he needs to he needs to get involved with freaky bob and fucking ns wheel ns wheel is actually a pedophile who went back to he was the guy i told you remember he was the guy i told you so there's this guy no and it's and it's david was in the barrio cartweed community and he played competitively and

then it came out that he was a pedophile and then he went to jail in the UK and then got released like a year ago and then within six months went back to prison for doing it again. No way. Yes. Insane. And this guy was just in Skype calls with me as a child. That's fucking freaky. He was also a kid back then.

He grew up to become a pedophile. Oh, wow. Yeah. So when I knew him, he was like my age He grew up to become a pedophile. Oh, wow. Yeah. So when I knew him, he was like my age. But then he became a pedophile. Yeah. It's crazy to go to jail and get out and be like, all right. Yeah.

What if I just did exactly what I did the first time? Yeah, he must not have liked it in there. He must have fucking loved it in there. In jail? He wanted to go back so bad. I don't know. Do they have Mario Kart Wii in jail? Maybe the internet's free.

I don't know. You know what I bet it is? I bet they do have Mario Kart Wii in jail, but they only have one controller. They don't have GameCube controllers. It's one of those GameStop cabs. They only have the Wiimote, which is the Wii wheel, but he was a Wii wheel player,

so he's really comfortable. He's probably in special pedophile jail, because if you put him in Gen Pop, they get fucking eviscerated. I don't know how UK jail works. I'm not going to— You think they're different? You think in UK, general population, cell block jail, they're like, ah, that cunt's all right. Yeah, maybe the vibes are different over there i don't know i don't know what's happening but he's fine that's it you're australian i can't i don't have british anymore you lost british and you gave up your british for a better australian did i talk

to you guys already about how josh were i watched that video video and Josh is losing his accent. I brought it up to him and Josh said it's true and it eats at him. Yeah. He doesn't like it. He's becoming less Australian every day. And I think that's good because he should be humbled and hurt. Yeah, if he orders fucking Dave's hot chicken once a day, then of course he's going to become American. I have never lived with a spouse, my josh right who will do this thing every single meal she eats josh will just fucking be like oh i got a stomach ache it's like what are

we doing every time he eats every fucking time josh and i'm like eating vegetables what did you do what did you order he's like three tacos and i'm like did that make your stomach hurt last time he's like yeah I'm like dude It blows me away Oh my god I miss him so much actually though You miss him

He was gone for like six days And then before that He was gone for another tournament And that's why Anthony's been getting Josh factor meals

We already gave him their time in this episode We just slide into another ad read Yeah man I miss him So we would message each other Cause I was like, I miss you, Jom. And he's like, dude, I just want to be home so bad.

He wants to game so bad. He just wanted to game. I got a message from Soon Say a couple days ago. And he was like, hello, anyone there? Because we haven't played games in a while. And I was like, I'm sorry. Anyone there is such a crushing message. What games have you been playing with Soon Say?

We've been playing A Way Out. What's that? It's cute. You know It Takes Two? Yeah. It's like that, but you're breaking out of prison. Okay. We play and we role play as prisoners on the mic.

Right, right. The game is terrible. I don't like it. It sucks, but I love role playing as a prisoner. Yeah. You know what I've been reading a lot? Dude, he has an amazing like uh oh what what is it he has an amazing impression of um mike from breaking bad okay

and he does it the entire time he calls me stromboli it's crazy do you think that there's a romantic arc to your guys' characters? Oh, in prison? Yeah. Yeah, probably. It's just on a crash course. If you get stuck in a level long enough, you know, it's not like you're getting out of jail anytime soon. Yeah. I can't wait to play a different game, dude.

I played Ace Ace 2. I didn't finish it. But I stopped playing because I was like, this isn't fun. I don't like this. And then someone was like, oh, you should play a way out. It's better. but I stopped playing. Cause I was like, this isn't fun. I don't like this. And then someone was like, Oh, you should play a way out. It's better.

And I played it and I'm like, this game is worse. I just, I think that it's so easy. It, it's, I don't like the games where like the, you're supposed to be like so impressed by the story that you're basically,

it's like a game that lets you control the cut scenes. Yeah. It's, it's annoying. And the story is, that's what AAA is for, for these the cut scenes yeah it's it's annoying in the story that's what triple a is for for these days i think but there's some like i don't know some gems man i but it's hard to like get into triple a games like i play tekken right now and i feel so guilty because i'm like it's like another job and i'm like what am i doing i'm not reading

discord messages i'm late on paying people Damn Everything's Yeah man I don't pay shit And I won't You gotta send her account And send an email

I won't fucking I don't know her I don't know her You do know her I know her I know her You talked to her I changed

Yeah I was on a I've been reading R slash felons A lot It's really interesting So've been reading r slash felons a lot. It's really interesting. So it's people who are felons. Yeah, it's most of the posts are people who are going to do time. Yeah.

And they're asking what it's going to be like. Whoa. Yeah. And a lot of the responses are really interesting. There's a lot of consistency across like prison culture and like what to expect and stuff. Apparently, prisoners have their own paperwork on them and it's customary to show your cellmate your paperwork because they want to see what you're in for they don't want you like lying and shit yeah and if you say no i don't want you to see my paperwork you're an enemy whoa because it means like you're probably

trying to hide something that's crazy but it's crazy so so you started talking about jail and breaking out and shit and i was just like thinking about the i i think i've spent like 10 hours reading that subreddit total oh my god it's it's riveting i can't wait to go to jail yeah what can we get you in for we can throw you a ch E cheese like party at one how about Dan Schneider bro tell me where he is go to town on Dan we should do one of those like YouTube pedophile catcher videos we go get Dan Schneider he's just still falls for the same old damn tricks yeah the level one shit it's like we like shine a shadow of Aiden's feet on the wall.

Like he's looking in the cave. And he sees it. He goes to the bat signal. You get a few people with that. I feel like it's been 90. I don't want to end it early. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about these little things.

You're worried about these little things. What's a Quebbin for you? You have a Quebbin for me. Me or Nick? Both of you. So it's not specialized. I want to know if you guys have a friend like this because i thought about this this week i have a friend his tag is the king and the king and i used to play mario kart together when we were kids and this guy did not turn into a pedophile presumably cool and i do not know the king's name i do not know where the king lives i do not know what the

king looks like uh and in fact the only thing i know about the king is that he was my friend we played mario kart together and i know what his me on mario kart we looks like okay and but over the years the king has always every year he checks in on discord and said tells me happy birthday nice every year without fail we don't really have conversations that extend heavily beyond this you don't know what he looks like i don't know what he looks like i i know i think i know that he's like a mechanical engineer and this is all i know and this is just from a video game i played as a kid and we used to talk on skype sometimes and um and he's like a couple years younger than i am uh and that's all i was wondering do you guys have anybody like that that

you met as a child during a game you know nothing about but you still have contact with yeah not as consistent as you're talking but i've had people from like like i was friends with on like xbox live who will every once in a while they'll just like reach out again and either schizo post in my dms or or be totally normal and i'll just have a small little uh pleasantries with them and then not talk to them again for another few years um but not as no one who taught maybe on facebook maybe if i go check my facebook wall there's people who tell me happy birthday like that but i think that's a great but i'm in like a group of people they're probably saying i was gonna say on facebook though you inherently have some idea of who they are right because you

can see their name and their oh yeah if you're talking about they have to be like completely anonymous yeah some from xbox live but not that many yeah i i don't think i have someone who is consistently keep like that keeps up with yeah i definitely have like a bone graveyard of like old friends i played dota with for a long time and then never really talked to again yeah uh in for like 10 years now which is kind of sad but um it's funny you know what i was thinking about the other day though is like the more the years go on like i i've always had a soft spot for just knowing people for a long time yeah you know oh yeah usually i will be if like this person is like annoying but i've known them for like eight years it's like fuck man it's been eight years it's

weird it's like a way and i think that's cool i don't know this is how it feels for you but for me it almost feels like a way to like hold on to things from from earlier in my life in a way that doesn't let them disappear like those people being around and like being able to talk to them it's a way to like extend the amount of your life that has existed and isn't washed away i kind of had that this this past weekend i went to washington for a wedding and i saw a big group of my high school friends that i haven't seen in a really long time and that i don't talk to that often either and it was the first time that i was together with them in like one place and like a couple you know a couple people in that group are married now

and also it's this nice like opportunity to just see what they've been up to the last like four to like six years and they have such an interesting each person has such an interesting perspective on the other because you know what that person was like growing up and what they like went through and now now it's like this little time capsule meetup thing where everything feels like pretty pretty comfortable like you have the the familiarity to just like dig into things you wouldn't be able to with a random person um and and it's nice because even though you don't talk to each other or don't see each other that often it's it's like we get this rare opportunity to like commiserate and also checking in on each other and you know you all care

about each other that's what weddings do as you as you, you just go to more and more weddings. Oh god, dude, I hate it. It's actually stacking up. It's crazy. This is my first big wedding year. I was like, I went from- Last year was crazy for me, dude. I went to so many weddings. I have more this year. Dude, people are starting to have kids and shit, too.

Then you go to the kid weddings. The kid weddings? And that's fucked up When one of your friends marries off their kid To another one of your friends Because they need to form a political connection Yeah It sucks we have to still do that

So they can earn their dowry I don't know why I don't know why we're still running that It sucks You know what? When I become president of Earth, after doing time... Like at the end of Dune,

whose hand are you taking? Oh my God, when he makes Christopher... Oh wait, sorry. I don't want to spoil. Maybe people haven't seen it. At the end of Dune, Christopher Walken is there. That's all I can tell you.

Christopher Walken is there at the end of Dune, Christopher Walken is there. That's all I can tell you. Christopher Walken is there at the end of Dune. Yeah. Christopher Walken. You liked it, Squidward. Yeah, I liked it, Squidward. I liked when you tweeted about the movie scene, the fight scene in the movie. You like when I do that shit. I like when you do that because I also really liked that scene.

You like when my opinions and your opinions are the same opinion. I like when you like something and you don't not like it. You like when I like something instead of not liking something and you like it too. Because it's hard to find something that you like in media. No, it's not, you fucking idiot. It's hard. No, it's not. Are you kidding me?

It's hard to find something in mainstream media like Dune that you enjoy. It is hard. He's right when he says that. I've changed the goalpost. That it's less likely, but I think it's not hard hard to find it's that he rarely engages with mainstream media so his opinion is formed only from the outside in rarely from the inside out he just doesn't like how i like damn social network tell you what aaron sorkin can come to your fucking baby wedding yeah okay when i'll say some words to him when my son marriesries Aaron Sorkin's daughter so that we can rule over part of Europe together I

Can't wait yeah, I'm gonna drop kick it fuck His fucking donkey ass teeth and we're gonna drop kick you into the page shot episode with me and Aiden Come on, this takes place in the past. So it's like a prologue We recorded the Patreon episode before And you'll notice that I'm You know far more angry than I am now Which is okay Are you really that mad? I should watch it At the beginning

I was pissed at the beginning Dude you should Literally Aiden can attest I was mad until I thought of the idea of milkshakes and then I started laughing yeah

and I was like I'm not mad anymore let's go so weird not because I would get to drink one not because I get to drink one

but like the idea of filming it okay like that made me happy again I was like that's funny to me and now that I'm

laughing I don't care wow it was beautiful thank you Kristen for coming on and closing off women's month don't fucking talk much don't talk to her like that well she didn't say anything i swear at kristen

bell like we paid her her crazy fee should have had dax on because you didn't bring a lot to the table that's so you guys i mean bro dax well dax makes a podcast episode every week. It cost $50,000 to book her, you know that? Yeah, and it was worth every penny. Kristen, thank you. Kristen. Sincerely for coming on, instead of sarcastically, like these two fuck-ass jokers. Okay, now you're getting violent. I see how you are.

I don't want to be like this in front of our guests. I don't want to roleplay being mad at her anymore. You ruined it. Alright, see you on the Patreon. Bye forever, bye. Bye.