The Yard - Ep. 142 - She’s never coming back on our show (ft. Fuslie)

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by Fuslie! They discuss Fuslie being bullied by a bigger streamer, the most trouble they've been in, and how Fuslie became a streamer instead of a teacher!

🎵 Alright, welcome to the show, Jay Slab! Yeah! No way you're getting sucked into this. You gotta go, you gotta go. Oh! Almost landed it. I forgot about the whole thing. It's okay. It's okay.

It was one of your greatest throws of all time. I'm having a moment where I just watched like two episodes of The Yard coming on. Yeehaw! Welcome, Carter! Howdy! Howdy! I just watched some episodes, so I'm having like a moment where I like, I really like,

because in the shower. You're on TV. You're on. You saw the TV. Yeah, you're on TV. Are they your first episode? Oh, you gotta get close to the mic and stay close to it. It's a very particular microphone.

The SM7B. You can also get rid of this if you want. The SM7B. She's a streamer. Yeah, but we don't have a good. I know. We don't have. Yeah, you get it.

I gotta eat the mic. You get it, dude. No, it's like I just watched, and they were not my first, but they were, I've watched like random episodes, so I feel like it's nice to like, you know, I watched like the first episode this morning. It is important to watch them in order.

Not an anthology. You guys didn't do a great job of- No, no, this is good. Get into it. This is good. You didn't give any context of how you guys know each other in the first episode I thought I was gonna get some sick college stories or like how you guys know each other

But you just said your name do we know about your name is Anthony that threw me off and then and then I was like Whoa, and then the Italian There was this ranch there were 17 other cowboys besides myself one cowboy walks on in one cowboy walks on in that was me naked as ever i walked in naked as ever yeah you well look we got better as it went on and we're still not good no you're good but we still do it it's it's four guys shooting the shit that's it's it's really good see this is what i'm trying to do anybody can do it too no but you guys have a chemistry we keep making podcasts for guys and we need more women. No, that's what Hank Green said.

Hank Green said we are a shining bastion of men's rights. I'm already Tracer. Remember when he said that? He did think we were good for men. But why don't we be good for women too? What was the idea in inviting me? Was I supposed to be on for women's history month? And then it just didn't,

the scheduling didn't work out. Or was this more of like a, we still talk to women, even though it's not March. Well, I asked to get foosie. Fousey too. Yeah.

And then I think maybe Lud misheard me. Yeah. I was so bad at messaging that I thought he meant foosley. Right. And he's like, I can, I can, I'm not supposed to be here. No, we still, we love you. It was like foosley YouTube instead of foosley. That I thought he meant Foozly right

No, we still love you Instead of pussy I don't know who Foozie is so I'm totally lost Well, you wouldn't have known who any of our guests would have been so that's why we're meeting really stream Oh games Right. Okay. I'm gonna ask you the question if aliens came down to Earth and we had Fuseli as our defender and she had to play one game against the aliens, what game would you pick for her? Counter- Global Offensive. I did play CSGO.

I have like 900 hours. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Let's go! I would pick Counter- Global Offensive. Actually? Yeah, actually.

I was a CSGO streamer in 2016. Wait, actually? That's what the fuck I'm talking about. I can't believe he binks this. Thater in 2016. Wait, actually? Oh my god. I'm talking about it. Like, heavily he binks this. Yes! That's so frustrating. I don't do that. I was.

I was. Wait, okay. Do you know my follow-up question? Am I good? What's your rank? No, but how... Am I bad at... Yes, thank you.

Yeah. Like, I was... I just played, but I wasn't good. I'm hard-stuck Silver 1. Like, I think my ELO got something. My account was, like, locked. You're stuck in silver one 900 hours Yeah, never got out

I think I just played so many games of it that like my account something glitch It's alright That's what I'm saying I'm pretty good You got dope skins though? Yeah I do I have a $5000 karambit Okay

Well Well it's no It's called the circumciser You're no aidem The circumciser That sounds like a great knife Wait what do you have? Okay, well early pop. No, you're no way to Sizer it sounds like a great night Wait, what do you have? I got it. I got a good old $12,000 karambit. I guess how much you bought it for 14

You actually paid like you yeah, yeah, I had to use Jetta that I sold and then I bought the- Wait, a car? Yeah, I sold a Jetta. Volkswagen Jetta. Volkswagen Jetta. Diesel. Sold it, bought the knife, tanked. Tanked in value. Oh, you thought it was gonna go. It did, it did.

It fucking, if I may, it mooned like dog with hat. To what? To 20k. And I was like, I hold. And then you huddled. And then I huddled and now it's 12 but now you know

next time it goes up past 14 you just sell it's time it's time to ditch but it's so pretty he won't sell it if it goes past 14

is it pretty? yeah the problem is I play and I like it and you use it yeah okay

is it Stout Track? no he thinks Stout Track knives are ugly I do how is that possible? Because of the little numbers on it? Because it's a scratch in the paint.

I actually think that's fair. It's a scratch dude. He's also not getting any knife kills even in warm up, even in a deathmatch ever. I sold my Jetta because it had scratches on it, you know? Your Jetta had a killstreak on it? A big hit and run guy. There was just three tally marks in your bumper and like, Jesus,

what are those? Oh no. Why does he have them? I should put a StatTrak on that damn vaccine. Do you agree, Fuzzly? Why are you saying that? Why are you saying that?

Because the amount of people that have been killed by taking the vaccine. By the vaccine. And by the way, what do you think that number is? Are we talking about

the COVID vaccine? Yeah, we're talking about the COVID vaccine. Oh, how many. And by the way, what do you think that number is? Are we talking about the COVID vaccine? Yeah, what are we talking about? Well, how many people have I seen that's killed? Yeah. We're going to raise our left hand. We think the vaccine killed more or the COVID killed more. Yeah. All right.

Three, two, one. What can I say? Why didn't you raise your hand? She didn't either. I knew someone wasn't going to, so I was about to have myself. We're going to get demonetized again. Exactly. They actually do put the warning under our pod sometimes. Because you raise your hand? She didn't either. I knew someone wasn't going to, so I was about to have myself. We're going to get demonetized again. Exactly. They actually do put the warning under our pod sometimes.

Because you talk about what? The vaccine? Because we talk about the vaccine. Okay, well. We talk about how dangerous it is to get something injected that Joe Biden made. Do you think it is? Can I say something? Yes.

You are very, I think, perceptive. I am perceptive. I think. What's my middle name? Your middle name? Mm your middle name Falco You're very perceptive you have figured us out We did invite you because we wanted people to think that we still invite women even after Women's History Month because we couldn't get four Women in a row those too hard Wow. It was really hard. It's like

Strikes it's like what who does that? No, I just't get four women in a row. That was too hard. Wow. It was really hard. Yeah, it's like bowling three strikes. It's like, who does that? No, I just ran out of women in my head. There's so many. I asked you one day, you were like, ah, kind of busy. I know. Well, I said I could do it April 1st, but then yesterday, and then you rescheduled. But when you said you couldn't do it earlier, I was like, it's over. Oh, because it was meant for last month.

Right, right. So really, okay, I see. And then I was like, I'm out. So anyway, you caught up on that. I feel like you have a good understanding of the world and I wanted to ask,

well, maybe Nick, you wanted to ask a question. What was the question? I have a question but Nick apparently has one. Oh, I got a question for you.

Uh oh. And then I have a question for you guys. Okay, sorry. Goosey. Yeah. We don't hang out that much

so I don't think you don't see me that often. Yeah. Oh God. But I don't think you don't see me that often. Yeah. Oh, God. But I'm trying out like a new thing right now. The whole look? Not the whole look.

It's mainly in like this region. You ever see the lovely bones? I've got sort of like a no country old men type vibe going on. Lovely bones. Lovely bones for sure. I haven't seen either. Okay. Give me more.

Okay. I've got like a... Like a pedophile murderer. No. Stranger Things. Hopper. Wait, does he murder... Like mustache.

You're asking about the mustache. I've seen Stranger Things in my life. What do you think? He's asking about the mustache. What do you think? Scale one to ten. Rate my look with the stache. With the...

Specifically the stache. Please don't be hurtful about the rest of me because i haven't gotten over all that yet okay so uh with the stash do you think it's a good i should push and i should really try to grow it out and make it thicker and more sort of like a vibe i got or should i kill it where it's at you're smiling no no you have a strong feeling no i just like the way that you're going to keep explaining. Right. I'm going to keep talking until the voices stop in my head.

I think that the stache isn't bad. I don't like a mustache, usually. On most people. But I'm changing your mind? Well, you do. You pull it off better than most guys. Okay. Dude, it's so easy for you to lie.

That's actually insane. I just got so much on my mind. Can we cut? Yeah, cut. Are you fucking kidding me? Better than most guys. What is most guys? Most guys look terrible with a mustache. It's like Matthew McConaughey.

I'm trying to think of all the mustache guys. They look bad. It's a bad look. Like just a mustache. It's a bad look. Let me, if I may, allow me to illuminate a larger perspective here. May you take off your glasses, sir? Oh. The court would like Nicholas to take off his glasses.

Nicholas, take them off. Take them off. Okay, before I do. No, just take them off. Take them off. Your honor. Your honor. Sustained. Order in the court. Is that supposed to prove something? Do you guys still think I'm beautiful?

Dude, you look weird. Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. You have a daughter. This guy pulls up to your house. He says, Madam Fuseli, I'd like to take your daughter out. He says, I have HPV, but I'm pretty sure I don't. I said I have a big TV.

He says, Madam Fuseli, I'd like to take your 16-year-old daughter out. I would like to take her. No, she's not 16. She's still 28 in this series. She's 24. She's 29 and beautiful. You can't look like that. Um, I mean, that's a totally different question.

That's just how I look. I can look like that. You do look, you look, you look like that. Okay, it's the conflicting hat with the mustache. You look like that. It's the conflicting hat with the mustache. It's like the mustache is giving Farmer Boy I don't know, but the hat and the pants and the tats and everything it's giving.

Do you think if I killed myself just in front of you, do you think that you'd ever forget about it? If you killed yourself in front of me, I would think about it every day. Don't think that you'd ever forget that moment? I would think about it every day. Don't do that. It would be a 2D Tuesday tomorrow we would think about it.

Someone vents and everything goes away. That's all I think about. I'm thinking about who vented. Like the shirts that say sometimes, I'm sorry, we will forget. Alright, look, better than most guys. I'm walking away with that. That's an Alkalade.

There's a dub. There's a dub. It's on bad luck. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'd like to thank, I don't know, the baristas at Stumptown. Why not have the person to give you the compliment? Well, I'm going to thank a woman.

Yes, me. Not an April. You know what? You have no idea how meaningful that was, and it's going to ring through my mind for at least 48 hours. You could shave it, though. Now a bullet will ring. Is it like a reason?

Is there a reason, or is it just for fun, a challenge? Yeah, I'm studying for a role. Oh, you're an actor. Yeah. Oh. This is new to me. We work on stuff. It's called the pedophile.

Yeah, I'm going for like, I'm doing like a Jeffrey Dahmer. Right. Okay. Exposé. Not exposé. I was thinking. I was thinking. We already figured that one out.

You work at the Boston Globe. You catch the pedophiles. No. Yeah. I'm a bait. I'm like a bait guy. Yeah. I buddy-buddy with pedophiles because I... And then you'm a bait. I'm like a I'm like a big guy yeah No, you buddy buddy with pedophiles because I

Wear a wire. I wear a wire to the fest you're crushing it then yeah I'm like damn. What do you got you? What do you guys want? Do you guys want to go to like Chuck E cheese and just vibe and then I did I pull a gun? And then you were saying you're under arrest Boston PD, and I said Boston PD I wasn't a pedophile at all. I wasn't even close to one. I was just a guy. Now get on the floor now. You think I was looking at kids.

I was closing my eyes the whole time. Get on the floor Boston PD now. You think I'm a diddler. What is your Boston accent Rich? It's like a guy Rich. Hold on. Did I stop being a pedophile? Wait wait guys did she get a question?

Yeah I did. But like it's a complete question. I'm not a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. That's an accent bridge! It's like Irish. Well, hold on. Did I stop being a pedophile? Wait, wait, wait. Guys, she had a question.

Yeah, I did. But like, it's a complete pivot. No, please. Please pivot. We should get out of pedophile Boston. It is one that I have, well, I, it's just, how did you guys, you know? Me? Yeah, like, where's the, what's the origin story? What's the origin story? Well, I know you came in when he was the 300 viewer Andy, because-

Whoa. Sorry, this is from the first episode. I'm fresh off the first episode of The Yard, by the way. This is crazy. She's trying to do a follow-up to episode one. I still have it, too. I still have it, too. It's great.

The shingles? What is that? Oh, the shingles! Yeah, you okay? She's a real fan. This would be a great time in, Yard TV show for a flashback. Like, man, it feels like it was yesterday. And it's like, do-do-do-do.

And Slime has hair. Yesterday, yesterday. It's, we're at the disco. Did you have hair back then? No. In episode one of the Yard? No. No, Ludwig.

Why are you asking me questions? I'm not asking you a question. I didn't ask you anything. I'm just giving you an indignant tone because you should know that. You're asking how we met. Yes, because, well, I know, well, you didn't have hair because you, you know, you did the whole skit. The intro to the skit was like, everyone has to have hair.

You watched that too? Yes. When you claimed you were like the good looking dude, they said you're the bald guy. Why did you say claimed? Claimed. You bullied Aiden. We still do that. And now, much like Toy Story 2, he wears a cowboy hat to indicate time has passed.

The bridge version is Slime got a job somewhat near where I live. What year are we in? We're in 2018. We're skipping things. Me and Slime used to swap spit all the time in 2017. Yes, me and Ludwig used to have insane long nights just sweating. Like gym? Glistening. No, it's kind of a gym.

That's the thing. A gym of love. I never challenged Ludwig in the actual backyard because he was much stronger than I was. Wait, are you guys being serious? Like you're wrestling or you're making out? What is happening? Yeah, we tackled each other to the ground. I didn't kiss Ludwig until 2021. And that's the truth.

He walked up to Slime and he said, I can tell just by looking at you, you're ticklish. Okay. The actual Bridge version is me and Slime. That'll make sense

in the Patreon. Used to commentate Super Smash Bros. Melee together. I thought he was really funny. He had this podcast he did on Twitch. He did a podcast on Twitch

for Smash. I never did Twitch. And I was like, well if this fucker can do it, I can do it. So you were the reason you made him. You made him. He kind of owes me. Wait, wait, wait. Slime actually made me too. Because then, so they commentated together, they were kindling the beginnings

of a strong passionate love. We're passionate lovers. Well no, it was technically us first. No, just fuck off. For sure it was. He didn't even bring you up. He just said it was him first. Yeah, but he felt no passion there. Oh, I see. I did constantly make fun of Nick a lot.

Yeah, so Slime didn't like me when we met. Oh, like actually. I didn't hate him. He didn't hate me, but I was not in his top 30. Like the same way you feel about him now. Okay, for sure. He didn't have a mustache, so thank God for that. I only had the mustache.

No shirt. So we used to go to Smash tournaments together Anthony would come to my house a lot because we were throwing local tournaments that's me and eventually

he got a job at an esports broadcast studio behind the summit but Slime did wait you sound surprised no no no no

okay okay you know what that's my insecurity projecting into you thinking you're saying like- Yes, exactly. I think you're fully capable of holding a job. It's because it was surprising. No, you look like you could hold a job.

You wanna do this? He hasn't held a job in years, but yeah. I held a job? Is this not a job? Do I not entertain? You're wearing Balenciaga socks. My mom bought the Furby. What?

That's weird. No, she did. No, she did. Yes, she actually did. Were they $400? Did he buy those for you? No, that was a different pair. I only have two. Oh my god. Oh's weird. No, she did. Yeah, she actually did. Were they $400? Did I buy those for you?

No, that was a different pair. Oh, my God. She asked for another pair? No, I didn't ask. I just... You know, when your mom got me the same Balenciaga socks, I didn't make a whole thing of it. And that's why we're different.

And that's why we're cool. Your mom got you... His mom's really beautiful. She's so pretty. She's so pretty. Yeah. Breathtaking. Can I...

Hit? No, not hit. You know what I can actually show you? I can show you a photo that my friend took of my other friend showing the rest of our friends my mom. That's what I got sent. It's like seven years ago. That's right.

Hey, develop some film, Aiden. It's them checking out my mom on a hike. If she was alive in the olden times, they would have made her out of marble. Yeah. They would have carved her. It's them checking out my mom In the olden times they would have made her out of marble yeah, they would have carved her beautiful way So yeah, I ended up getting a job at beyond the summit and Because of that he wanted it was close to where I was living and he asked if he could rent my closet and live inside of it. Oh. So he did. I rented a closet.

Uh, it was like what, six months? How much rent were you charging? Eight months, $200 a month. $200 a month? I know. Damn. In LA. In LA?

Is it- to be clear, this is- this was a- Not really LA. It was a pantry. It's not an LA. It's a pantry. His mattress was on the floor of a pantry. It was in- it was in Pomona. It was not a- I mean Pomona, it's like- In Lampire. It's- it's not an LA he's left entry his mattress was on the floor of a page it wasn't it was in It was not a page. I mean Pomona. It's like in limber. It's it's Southern California. You know well It's not it's not in the county. It's in the Empire and the Empire is not a county

It's not but he knows not he know it is You should know this no wait. I think I'm right doesn't matter. There's a lake on a San Bernardino County in Orange County There's no inland Empire County. That's actually right, which is crazy. And you grew up here. It's disgusting. I feel like I'm right. Anyway.

I feel like I'm right. Okay, so I end up- Do you want a sock check or not? The closet is really long, so it could fit my whole body. Okay, perfect. So it was great. Yeah. My computer was downstairs, living with the boys.

What does that have to do with us? Okay, sorry. What are you talking about? Sorry, go ahead. We're getting- he's painting the picture. Yeah, he's painting the picture. The computer was downstairs. It was next to Miles' computer, and he. We're getting, he's painting the picture. Yeah, yeah, he's painting the picture. Computer's downstairs. It was next to Miles' computer

and that was my, he was my best friend and he wore his shirt. Who's Miles? He's an Australian guy. Okay, okay. Miles? You're the worst guy

in this story. What are you talking about? Okay, yeah, keep going. I was trying to take it. And because of that, I had that job and I slide up to a guy named Dan Najarian

who Ludwig calls Dan. He's the guy who's like shirtless all the time who has like a bunch of like really hot women around him

and who sells weed and plays poker. Am I supposed to know him? Like is he famous? He's like a huge Instagram influencer. Oh okay I don't

know him. There's a guy named Dan and he worked at Beyond the Sun when he ran the content department. I went up to Dan

and I said look I know this young guy. John Buck. I looked like this. No we didn't. Do the face you did. Don't buck. I look like this. No, we don't. Do the face you did. Is that good? I don't like when he moves his tongue.

I don't like when he does. Is my tongue doing something? Yeah, it is. It's how shiny your lip gets after. It's so wet. It looks like it's very wet. It looks sopping. Your whole tongue came out.

Well, you know. So I said, I know this guy. Don't make him bite his lip because it's weird and you know give him a shot Dan Dan said you know what I don't like him either but I'll give him a shot I start working at the company with Anthony okay and then our have you heard Nicholas Yingling have you heard that name before maybe you've seen it in a cloud or a dream. Yes. You've met him. We all see it in here at one point. Yes, but why?

I probably have, but why? Why have you met him? Because he's my assistant. He was at the Super Bowl party. I've definitely met him. So, I knew Nicholas Yingling before I knew Ludwig. But Nicholas Yingling was from Arizona, where Ludwig was from. He kind of sounds like this, Let's play Rage Cage! I don't

chirp! He kind of sounds like that. I's play Rage Cage. I don't chirp. He kind of sounds like that. I think I have to see him. I'm more of a face person. But he went to ASU with you? No, he just lived in Arizona. They were in the Smash community over there together. We were in the Smash community

over here together. And there was a tournament happening in Southern California that Nick Yingling was like, can I bring some friends to stay at your house? He brings Ludwig. Oh.

So we meet Ludwig under those circumstances. Fast forward, Ludwig wants to move to LA, have a career. Wait, rewind from the fast forward. I think I had said probably about seven words to Ludwig total. And then I saw his open, exposed asshole. He showed us his asshole the first weekend.

You guys were playing Mafia. That's right. Oh, that's so kid man. You win the yard quiz forever. Forever. So yeah, and that was kind of this like. And you thought he was funny. I did. That is crazy though. Sorry. Like, you're playing Mafia with how many people?

Oof, 12. And you don't know some of these guys. Many of them. Most of them. Most of them. In a house he's never been to before. And you decide when the nurse is turn to just barrel. Right right let's rephrase I go from was there. I decided to win I Decided to win

My turn to kill I would have killed her so did you hear a reaction? Oh, yeah? killed her so did you hear a reaction oh yeah I got a little bit do you know how good I was at among us now imagine if I could show everyone that love you my it was like an intrusive thought you're like I'm gonna do this I was like it was a he likes to do it specifically when when he's mafia and when we're trying to fake when the the moderator says but medic, look up, because he can know when the medic looks up and his asshole's out and laughs. I'll do both too. If it says mafia eyes up and I'm town, I'll do it too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, I use most excuses. He does it to this day. No, I stopped. He hasn't done this in god damn how long. I haven't said this before. He hasn't done it in weeks maybe. For a period of about like five years, showing my butthole paid a lot of dividends for me. Like financially? All of the above.

So like I did it in high school when I did theater and people would be on stage. You know you can see the other people back here. You see the other people backstage? I would do it to fuck them up while they were actually in the show live. I would moon them. Not my butthole. I didn't get to that point yet.

Just my butt. Yeah, okay. Never open the doors. And then they'd be like, oh my God. And then you'd see their reaction while they're performing

in front of hundreds of people. That's like not during the rehearsal. No, during the actual show. Yeah, yeah. What a monster. Because all I cared about was making them chuckle.

And then I brought it to college and so then I lived on this really long dormitle and then I brought it to college and so then I lived on this really long dormitory floor and I would show my butt to people down the floor

that I didn't know cause they'd all hang out on the floor together and they're all like fucking friends they would chirp when people walked by

friends just like normal people yeah they're like friends and they'd all fucking hang out and shit and I wasn't part of the friend group

so I showed them my butt one day really is a pattern and then uh and then they invited me to hang out and I ended up dating the girl that I showed my butt to so if. It really is a pattern. And then they invited me to hang out. No way.

And I ended up dating the girl that I showed my butt to. So we're looking for real Riz tips. Jesus Christ. Unsolicited nudity. You either get a girlfriend or a case. And it's up to you to decide. A girlfriend or a jail girlfriend. I will say that if someone did that in college, it's definitely like that person is

memorable. I would probably mention it or like call them down. I'm a 20 year old man now, so I don't do it. Don't.

Yeah. Like in college. But in college, you're 18. That flies. It doesn't necessarily even fly. It's just you don't

know what it's you know what you're supposed to be doing. It flew. It did. Are you sure? But yeah, I haven't done it in years. Yeah. And it's, you don't know what you're supposed to be doing. It flew. It did, are you sure? But yeah, I haven't done it in years. Yeah, and just rounding it all out, Aiden then got a job at the same company.

We already kind of knew him from the Smash community. You were in a throuple. It was starting to all make sense. We moved in together, the three of us, because we were like, oh, we kind of have weirdly similar things we're trying to do. You three live together. The three of us live together. And then Aiden shortly after got a job where me and Slime were working

and so we were like we should all it makes sense for all of us to be together because it's Smash and then we moved in together you play Smash too yeah

and they all just he ran tournaments for Smash we mostly played Smash until we worked at a company for throwing events he was worse than me at the time but he was like really into running events

yeah yeah yeah worse for actually quite a long time so who's actually like what's like who's the best or is that like at that time period

it was me and then Aiden and then the other two it's hard to say probably Nick maybe first yeah last time we checked it was a plaque it has my name on it

my picture so you're like definitively the best we threw a company tournament you won the company tournament I won the company tournament yeah who did you

who wait what was his name PhD's nuts last night at Verdugo? That's the power ranking. It's Nick, Ludwig, me, PhD's Nuts. Wow.

What about Aiden? The thing is, if Aiden had beaten PhD's Nuts last night at Verdugo, he probably would be up there. Yeah, it's a silly name. Probably not even good. Aiden is the best right now. No. Okay.

Fair. No, I just feel like, well, he didn't include you on the list so like it how could he be that's true there's a lot of me losing to Eli Eli Lincoln that's Eli uh-huh hi fantastic playing I'm he plays way more I'm the only person of the four of us that plays right now So it's just changed over time I'm technically the best. Oh, oh you're on the tech. I play Tekken. Okay, a lot of people playing Tekken. Not me Yeah, I mean I Never tried it. I'm kind of like I'm kind of like Dom Toretto's car Like if you can like get the engine running again, like that is gonna win the race You know I mean ten seconds don't try to I mean here is yeah

He's basically trying to like flex and say that he's a he'd win anything if you tried if you if you actually he's owned by a bald man He's the bald man Well done good analogy Nick let's move on Fuseli I want to give you something This What the fuck are you- this is mine, why are you- I'd like to give you the State Farm Key to the Gamerhood. I found this downstairs. Thank you so much! Congratulations. Is this part of our State Farm? Yeah, there's no money involved, it doesn't go to you. Oh my god, you won! Yeah, you won though.

It's the second challenge. But why am I so deserving of this? Because it was on the ground downstairs and I thought it'd be funny to give to you. I love it! Thank you! Thank you so much! Oh my god! Okay are you gonna take it forever? She loves it!

Well I mean if I could take it home I'd take it home. Okay. I think it's pretty cool. You can. Can I get you guys to sign it all too? I would love to sign it. That'd be really cool. I would love to sign your gift.

Of course. Are you attached to it? Do you want it? Oh no! Are you tattooing it? It was on the floor Ludwig. Stupid. If you cared about it it wouldn't be on the floor Ludwig? Why would you pee on the floor Ludwig? Why would you pee on the floor Ludwig? If you cared about it, it wouldn't be on the floor. Why don't take his side? I just got maca on my side. Oh my god.

She spilled maca but that's what happens when you give someone the keys to the gamerhood. She spilled maca but that's what happens when you give someone the keys to the gamerhood. Aiden's peed on the floor is fine. You gotta spill a little maca to get to where you're at. You gotta spill a little maca to get to where you're at. Maybe context doesn't make it better. Okay, what's the context? Let's hear it. He peed on the floor because he thought it'd be funny.

But, like, were you drunk? Were you, like, just chilling? No, sober. Dead sober. That's what made it funnier, I would argue. You're dead sober in front of us all in the living room. If I did it well, it was in front of Nick Yingling and the cat. That's it.

And Nick. I'm getting mixed stories. So... I wasn't there. I heard about this. He peed on the damn floor. Do you guys just kind of, like, do that? You know? I don't there. I heard about this. He peed on the damn floor. You guys just kind of like do that You know how I don't know much like spreading Ludwig's asshole, which I also used to do I

used to spread Ludwig's asshole The way male bonding can tend to work in circles like this, and so we end up peeing and showing up behind- I'm not peeing on the floor anymore. I just wanna make sure- Oh my god, it was two years ago. Oh my- Yo dude, I was behind this. Where's Ryan, dude? Ryan's like two years behind me. What do women do to like, sort of, like freak each other out or like get a laugh? Yeah, do girls do the same thing? Thank you, Zipper. It fully depends on the, like, who it is.

Your best friend. Slumber party. Slumber party vibes, party vibes um oh i mean we don't like whip out our dicks or anything like as in like that's like a guy thing i've realized that i dated a guy and he like literally would like on the table they measure and stuff that is not happening we don't do that i was just like hey i feel like we're at that stage um i feel like when you get naked with a friend you you're definitely on that next level. But I grew up very conservative, like, you know. Trump.

Yeah, Trump. Vaccine. No, no, like in the- They wrote him in. Like, I'm Asian, you know, so we grew up very, like, don't look at each other type of way. But after I went to, like, Wii Spa a couple times with some friends- You break down the barriers.

You break down the barriers. Okay, you're at a Wii Spa with your friends, and you're like, damn, those yams. You do. You do comment. To a random person. To each other. Excuse me, sir. Your yams are huge. You're in the co-ed area. I just went to Japan

and me, Tina, Myung, Janet, we went to, what is it? An onsen. We all were in an onsen yeah and all of us uh i mean we didn't say anything weird but it was just like well we did comment like not not about each other's bodies but it was more of like a understanding that okay actually when i was like in the cold water i was thinking like wow all my friends are naked but i'm not like mentally i was not naked because i'm not it's like kind of such a block for me like a defensive

Yeah, so I'm like I'm seeing them, but they're not seeing me like I was just there naked, but I'm wearing water You have like a business suit with the Friends ridiculous see me, but it was after that I felt closer, you know, and you just kind of start swimming around acting like a shark When we went to the one in the hotel, that's what we're playing That's what we're playing sharks. We're like a shark. That's a Japanese tradition No, I didn't sounds and then Tina was like what sounds No, and then then Tina was like no Like hitting me with like In the onsen they have them They're the bulls So I'm like no stay away

And then me and Jad are like So that's separate I mean I feel like guys would do that too Well we're both gonna play shark time with you guys Girls play shark Me and Aynerman I say your dick looks like a damn metronome Do you guys comment on each other's dicks? 100%

And then he goes why you got such big ass balls Balls are so big dude they're crazy And then he goes Why you got such big ass balls Balls are so big dude They're crazy And then I go Stance you got a bush like Brillo And then we go We just run around like that So you

Who caught Like is that I don't know You guys just And then you don't You look down actively At each other I think I was initially nervous

So This is This is the first time You had went So maybe I feel like the first time You go You

You get rid of the awkwardness By making comments like that Fair But I feel like We just went And I feel like the first time you go, you get rid of the awkwardness by making comments like that. Fair. But I feel like we just went, and I feel like you don't even think about it by the fifth time you're there. I start talking to the other people I don't know. OG son, nice cock.

OG son? One of the old dudes there. I find the modest guy in the bath, and I say, you look like you've been carved out of marble. You start to see the regulars. Albert, what are you at? are you three four five veins now? You are commenting though, and that's what I actually attempted to do is we didn't comment

I comment after him before so like Aiden brought a new friend over and I was like I bet you want to see Dave's little cock These two friends I was like, oh you want to see his meat and then he said I think you said your friends in 19 I was like, oh you want to see some natural meat Yeah, that's weird. Why are you making it weird? First of all, he's 28. First of all, the friend wasn't 19. He's 28. 28 is such a different age. I know, but I like saying 19-year-old me. Ian brings one of his 19-year-old friends around, as he does. So before and after, I'm talking about it.

But during, I tried to be very proud of what I have over the top, to an extent. Like, if you remember the Onsen. I don't remember this. Onsen's great. Like if you remember the onsen They don't remember this We went to we went to an onsen for Together for the for the first time on our trip last year and he we went to the it was really really beautiful They had this outdoor section that was on the roof and it was snowing. There's all these like rocks around And the way they put it together is fucking amazing oh and which lake toya okay okay yeah so we we're we're there with a

couple other people it's freezing and ludwig gets up out of the water and climbs onto one of the rocks on the side and i don't know if you've seen mulan and that scene where Yao gets on the rock in front of everybody. But it was exactly like that. They all said that. Bury it all. Yeah. And just showing it off. I feel like that was your way of getting comfortable. I got comfortable by not being embarrassed.

And by not being embarrassed, I was over the top proud. That's honestly what I do too. Like once I'm like, okay, we're naked. You've seen me. I'm spreading my legs swimming. Like when I'm a shark. You're a shark. I don't care at that point. I'm like, we, we're naked. You've seen me. I'm spreading my legs swimming. Like when I'm a shark. You're a shark. I don't care at that point.

I'm like, we are now burying it all. And I'm fine. Initially, I'm like this. But once they show me a level of vulnerability or whatever, I'm like, okay, you're down. I'm down. fellas, you ever run into a problem? And I'm sure you have. Let me explain this problem.

You're in the boudoir. Okay. You're stripping down to your skivvies because you're with a sexual partner. What are you laughing at? Stop talking to me while I'm talking. He's being your sexual partner. You're my sexual partner. Oh, and you're laughing.

He's laughing. And here's why he's laughing. It's because you've taken off all your clothes except your underwear. You're doing your skivvies and it looks so tiny, you little fucking dick. My shit looks like there ain't no damn veins in it. No veins. Am I supposed to fuck that? No veins.

And you're looking tiny. And you're looking, you're reminded of like small things like blueberries. Dick tiny? And the little tiny like mice people. I'm thinking of baby carrying blueberries. I'm no longer interested. You're thinking about Gulliver's Travels. And all of a sudden, my sexual partner leaves.

Give me a shower head. I don't want this. I'm leaving. I want a shower head instead. Because you're a little nasty ass man? Door slam. You're a shower head instead. Because you're a little nasty ass man. Door slam. You're a nasty little man. But the thing is, you can stop this problem from happening because I know it's happened

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I was having this because my girlfriend likes to go to Wii Spa a lot and they, her and her friends invited his girlfriend the last time that

they went. Her and her friends invited, sorry, invited Nick that they went. Her and her friends invited... Sorry, invited Nick's girlfriend to go with them. And she had a lot of the same reservations that you're talking about, basically. I want to be a shark, but I don't know if I can be able to be a shark. I don't want to be a shark.

I don't know the theme song. I don't know if I can sing it. And I was telling her, as soon as you get in and as soon as you do it, everything is normal Because one time I went and there was a guy Who had all of his clothes on In the tub which I don't think you're allowed to do

Yeah no you have to be naked And everybody's looking at that guy That guy's weird He's attracting way more attention by being in the pool With your shorts on He was in the cold tub You know the cold tub He was in the cold tub at WeSpa.

He was in the cold tub with shorts on and I'm like, bro, you're fucking up the vibes. Yeah, it's true. Put that shit on. Everything's okay here.

Now I know you got a nasty little man and I want to meet him. I want to meet your man. I'm going to say I'm scared of WeSpa though. Why? Because last time

I went for Aiden's birthday, he wanted to see a 19-year-old me. We saw it. And then afterwards, I'm putting of we spot though. Why because last time I went for a birthday. You want to see 19 year old me? We saw it Afterwards, I'm putting my clothes back on and then these two guys come up to me and they go what week and I have my clothes I thank God and they're like, dude, we're gonna pick we're from China and I was like sure But I worry that if I go to we spa Someone's gonna be like that's a load weeks me and then make a visual image and then sketch it

Like Bobby Lee someone's gonna be like that's Ludwig's meat and then make a visual image and then sketch it out yeah yeah yeah sketch it out perfectly you gotta own it like Bobby Lee they gotta go to like a crime sketch artist yeah I saw Bobby Lee Bobby Lee was at Wii Spa when we went in and you saw his meat

did you talk to him oh yeah but I talked to him I said I yelled at I yelled at Aiden I said you know Bobby Lee's here he's right over there

and then I walked away and I let him deal with that did he hear it did he turn I don't know I left that was his problem he's such a piece of shit dude wow well I think what to sort of summarize all of this is like ludwig used that bonding that

that skipping ahead to immediately create a connection with someone if they were willing to accept it into their heart like jesus christ yeah and if they rejected it i would go to jail no i think that's good I think when you're vulnerable with your friends, you know, like I'll never regret getting naked with my friends because I feel a level

of closeness now. But I'm not going to be the one initiating it like you. Like you're out there, you know. I wish I had that confidence. You heard it here first. Never regret getting naked

in front of people. In your friends. Many what, really? I feel like I've always felt closer after that. Enemies. Enemies. I agree with you. I agree with you. Getting naked is I've always felt closer after that. I agree with you. Subway employees. Politicians.

I did do it at a Dunkin Donuts once when I was a minor. Why? Were you trying to shut it down? I got kicked out. Why? Because my friends were there. Damn Apple Pay, I don't know how that shit works yet. My friends were there and I had been roped in probably by myself into daring myself to show them my blood at the Dunkin' Donuts.

Did anyone know about this dare? Like you're just making the dare up in your head. No, no. You can't do that, man. I don't know exactly what. I was very young at the time. I was like maybe 17, 16. That's not that young.

Okay. It was 10 years ago. That's pretty young. That's true. And so I was like 16, 17. We would go to Dunk young. It was 10 years ago. That's pretty young. That's true. And so I was like 16, 17. We would go to Dunkin' Donuts every night because that's where we hang out in New Hampshire. And it was butthole night. And that night, I didn't show a hole.

Oh, my bad. I pulled down my pants when I was in line ordering. Like peeking the crack or like the full... Just peeking the crack. Okay, that's fine. It's a crescent moon. They saw the security cam and then they said you cannot do that you have to leave Good and I want to know you're the pedophile You looked at my butt

Report I'm 17. I walked out. I Didn't go back for like a whole week. Have you been arrested? Have you guys been arrested before in a in a cop car? I've I'm being swatted. I don't think I've been. I've been detained. I've never been arrested. Is that because of a SWAT car? No. Oh. I threw a water balloon at a car.

Oh, on the highway? I got detained. On the highway? Like, I threw a water balloon. So I was on a, I was like, I don't know, I must have been um 13 oh uh and i was on a bridge over a highway and i had a backpack full of water balloons because we had just been water ballooning cars you know how it goes um and i hook shot one over the over the over the bridge and mid mid hook shot a cop car just drives by flashlight and then keeps driving and I'm like you didn't

see instant u-turn but you're on like an overpass I'm on like like a yeah like a street a street that goes over a highway and the cop is also on the street the cops on the street oh I was like so they just u-turn they sit me on the curb they get on me and then he's like what's in the backpack and you're like oh you're not gonna love this yeah I know la bars don't look it was funny i i said i think i maybe told us in the podcast before i was like i i dropped once he turns around i just dropped the backpack and keep walking because nighttime yeah so i'm like he won't see it over there the way he parks the car shines a light directly onto the backpack like down the curb and he's like what's that

backpack and i go that's not my backpack and he's like well why were you onto the backpack like down the curb and he's like what's that backpack and I go that's not my backpack He's like why were you holding the backpack, and I'm like well. I was holding it, but it's not mine I'm like trying to reel my way out of this He's like you solved it. He goes grabs it. It's full water balloons, but yeah, I never got ever I got I got detained I roundhouse kicked the police chief in the head. That's a lie. No, you did not. I did. That's a fucking stone dead lie. And I had to.

I had to. Why did you have to, son? He was going to show his butthole to me. I had to save my friend. Who were the friends? Billy. What was the cop going to do to Billy? Billy Friend. Billy.

Billy Friend. Billy Dodgers. Okay. Cop's name? Cop's name? Also Billy Dodgers. Okay. And, um. Cop's name? Cop's name? Chief, also Billy. Weird. Police Chief Williamson got his shit kicked out.

I kicked his teeth out. I had to do it. That's badass. I had to. I had to save my friends. Yeah, he had to save his friends. He's actually so passionate. We were talking about on the primo, we were talking about Serena Williams.

Is the person who makes the Williams pinball machines the same family? Yep, there's only one Williams family, pinball machines the same family? Yep. There's only one Williams family and that's the same one. Yeah. I couldn't tell you. Now I know. Have you been arrested? No.

Do I give off arrested vibes? In fact, the opposite. Oh, really? What is the closest you've come to being in trouble? What's the most trouble you've been in? The most trouble I've been in. Oh, high school. I slept over at a, well, in trouble, like with the law.

Any kind of trouble. Parents, law school. Okay. With the parents was, um, so I was at this party, Halloween party, high school. I dress up like a strawberry with my three best friends. And we didn't like, we wanted to be kind of like slutty strawberries. So we, but we couldn't really get across the message that we were strawberries because how do you dress up as a slutty strawberry so we wrote the word strawberry across our chest in eyeliner like you know it's

really bad green jacket very high school very terrible anyways it was like a first time kind of like at a party so we are like whoa you know we're kind of basically uh not okay so there's like the popular kids we're not like not popular but we're not like popular so we're like kind of like in the middle anyways was a bit of a messy night and so that so a lot of people saw some stuff I'm not gonna go detail but pretty much we're a little bit messy nothing crazy nothing crazy no flashing no flashing what's not strawberries were on the prowl it was our first time at a Halloween party, and people

were like, you know. Oh, there's Fireball? There's Fireball for sure there. There's Boone's Farm. Shit's getting lit. What is Boone's Farm? No one ever knows what Boone's Farm is. I wasn't sure.

You were talking to him. I mean, we've had this conversation before. He's a very normal thing, and you said Boone's Farm. And you're just trying to hop in, and it's like, no. You know what? That's my fault. That's okay. We had plastic vodka in those bottles.

Anyway, so. And there's barley. Right? And we have floorboards. Floorboards. Floorboards. Dale's playing the harmonica. Sky and there is Smirnoff.

And there's those things. Okay, so we are. I lied to my mom and I say I'm staying at my best I asked what year this is yeah, I think that's one t 2009 I don't bully you for your age I bully you for how old you are my age real quick quick aside does he call you the same

things he calls other female streamers and friends what is it? Uh, something bitch. Rotten bitch. Rotten bitch. What have I ever called you that more than once? Multiple times on Discord calls.

No, I stopped doing it so long ago. No, like... Remember when I said I'm not gonna use any gendered language and then I stopped for like a week? And then you brought it back. Good week, though. Hey.

It was, for him it was, it was. Yeah, no, rotten bitch multiple times. I stopped doing it. Just making sure. I haven't been called it today. Okay, so you in the strawberries are getting down What's playing what's playing so probably the Beatles Down by Jay Sean. It's right there by Chingy. Like any self-respecting 2009. That's what I'm saying. It's Get Low. It wasn't me. It's Get Low, right? Are they okay? No, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get Low. It's Get Low. Isn't that just a song called Low? Oh, it is called Low.

Get Low is like the Lil Jon song. No, no, no. There's no Lil Jon song called Get Low. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. It's Low. It's just Low. It's just Low. Just Low. I have ball jeans. That's plenty. Okay, I lie to my mom and I say I'm staying at my best friend Lily's house for the night. Lily tells her mom I am staying at Lily's house. Oh, this is classic. This is a different Lily, right?

Not Lily Peachy. Okay. We're passing on the floor, 7.30 in the morning. I get woken up, and Lily's shaking me. She's like, Leslie, Leslie. And I'm like, what? And she's like, we're in big trouble. And I was like, why?

And she's like, well, my mom called mom and and found out that you're not actually with me and or i'm not with you um and so my mom's picking us up right now so i get in the car and her mom is like stone cold like driving i look in the rearview mirror and she's just so upset and she's like i cannot believe you girls blah blah blah this is dangerous you were drinking blah blah and i'm just like oh my god my mom has no idea about anything i'm raised very christian there is no alcohol i'm always like ew mom don't worry about me alcohol is so gross yada yada yada but like i just had a wild night do you have strawberry still painted on your chest with eyeliner it was oh at that point it's not there okay probably i don't know we're driving home i get back to my place and i know that lily is grounded at that point she's not

gonna be seeing me or anybody and i'm just like like i'm panicking i get home lily's mom had talked to my mom i go in and she just says like you're you're grounded and i was like wow like i'm grounded like and she's like you are not to use your car until it comes out of the repair shop and i was like what what and i was like oh this is she doesn't know what grounded means my mom she's not like america she's never grounded me before i've never heard that out of her so her saying like you're grounded i was like oh my god and what she meant is like you cannot use your car until and it was in the shop already by the way so like this was nothing changed but i was like wait what she's like yeah it's in the toyota shop we the way. So like this was, nothing changed. But I was like, wait, what? She's like, yeah, it's in the Toyota shop. We're picking it up in like three days.

And then you can drive. And I was like. Damn, Ma, that's tough. And I said, oh my, okay, I get it. I understand. I won't do that. You've done a good deed today. One of the good ones.

And that was really good. She didn't talk to me about anything. And so this store was about the most trouble I've been in. like i didn't really get in trouble wow i know i i must have been oh up danny danny yes high school oh my god so ap gov right ap gov ap gov classic period third period senior year wait were you were you an asb no i. I wasn't in... I was not really in anything. I feel like most people in AP classes were also in ASB. I was in Key Club, like, a little bit, and then I was in, like... You're crushing a 3.8 here.

No, 4.2. We don't say Asperger's anymore. Sorry. Just go on. Oh. It's awareness month. Yeah. So, Danny...

Is ASB... Okay, never mind. Yeah, no, it's like a... I thought it was Asian Baby Girl, but I realized it's AGB You have dyslexia and you're also problem associated student body in that crazy were you a ASB Neither I've never been an Asian baby. You're from California. I'm assuming yeah, is that you guys have the same like lexicon of Yeah, I'm from

Associated student body. Oh, yeah, California San Jose like Silicon Valley. Yeah, I love that area Smash tournaments in every year is in San Jose. Oh, ooh. No, homage of pizza. Convention center? Yeah. Slice of homage. Have you been there?

Of many times. Okay, okay. I'm from that area. No, you're not. You're from New Hampshire. San Mateo. That's true. Guildhouse.

Guildhouse. Japan Town? Oh my god. They do have that. What's the coffee place? I used to be sloppy. Phil's. No, no, no, no. Starbucks? What's it called? What's the coffee place? Philz.

I just said that. He said it was wrong. Wait, that's it. Well, no way. So it's wrong when I say it. It's April. It's like a new year. Give me mojitos.

Give me what's good. Actually good. Okay. No, oh, washed. Anyway. No mojito sucks. They've gone worse. They used to be good.

Dinner's better. The ginger snap is good. Yes. Okay. So back to it. Right. What did that goddamn son of a bitch? Oh, he's the class president at the time. Okay. I am my lucky to get it. I'm going to class. And at the beginning of the class, my professor or the teacher, and she's like, I will be

testing you all using college board essays. So you guys are not allowed to go on college board and look at like past essays for your test and he's basically saying like here's the answer that's crazy um promise you won't so we sign a contract literally sign it and say like i will not go on college board of course i go to college board okay and so and so i have a whole i download every single essay they've used in the past like 15 years and i like practice them out i'm in tutorial which is basically like first period third period fifth period on like monday wednesdays fridays and there's a break called tutorial where you can go to any one of your classes one to seven and they have like a 25 minute period where you're just like uh you can ask questions or whatever oh my

god and you would do that you have to it's a class it's my school too but you would go like people wouldn't skip and just like fucking you can't you can't get it's class yeah you couldn't skip and smoke bulk weed yeah you couldn't skip and smoke bulk weed. Yeah, you couldn't. Depending on your school, leaving campus is kind of hard. We had a period when you were a senior that you could just do whatever you fucking wanted. And if it was first or seventh, you could just show up later and leave early. Did you guys have that?

Yeah. When I was a senior, I had a gap period. We had a truck in the parking lot where we smoked bulk weed. Wait, where did you grow up? Colorado. Okay, where in Colorado grow up? Colorado. Okay, where in Colorado? Like western side. I don't know. I don't know anything. Yeah, you didn't need that. Be more specific. I'm from there.

If I said Denver, you would have been like, ah. 303? Yeah. Can I ask you a question, actually? Before, wait, did we get to Hawaii? No. It's about 303. It's about 303. It's really quick. No, it's a big discussion if it's quick then you ask it quickly

yeah we can come back to it do you think that Don't Trust a Ho by 303 it's just called Don't Trust Me Don't Trust Me sorry you're a fan

why would you throw in a ho cause that's a don't trust the hook it's representation I think that they should own the title it's the hook it is a really great song

do you think that's a classic song yes absolutely thank you okay continue fantastic we'll talk later young't want to i was at a three i was at warp tour and i saw 303 before they were big oh this is oh three oh um 2009 where uh in uh mountain view 303 it was an area code i thought they were called oh three oh exclamation point dude you just do dead ass have dyslexia. This is crazy.

030 is insane. I don't think there's a single zip code that starts with zero. I also went. This is like an area code and then they're called 303. And he's married. The three fingers are opening. I also went in 2009

in Colorado. What kind of music did you listen to? I listened to like Scary Kids Scaring Kids and shit like that. Okay, so you were... Did you like Screamo more? I did. Okay. I was more on the pop-punk side. Like all-time low and stuff.

I think we would have gotten along, but tentatively. Escaped the fate. Not really pop-punk. Not as much. Not as much. Because at Warped Tour, there's like two groups of kids. It's like the Screamo side, and then there's the... Yeah, sleeping with sirens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Ray. She liked that side. Bawk. So mean then there's living with sirens. Yeah. Yeah, that was Ray She liked that side Bach so so Danny mother fuck. Yeah back to Danny So I'm into tour tutorial and I am I have my college What is it called the college? You printed it and you brought it to school. Yes I'm in her class. We're just kind of actually brain dead so Ambitious I well, I'm in the back left and she's over there like miss he's never cheated in your life wait this is exactly

have this is the flash game in the classroom okay continue so she is there i am here and i'm like going through them some narc next to me first period i don't even know who saw this right and i didn't know that so i'm just like okay next is a school rally we're going in we're like one oh you know like all that senior shit right we're going down i mean i'm having the best time all of a sudden i'm walking out with my friends and then i see miss heat and walk up to me and she's like leslie and i was like hi and she's like uh come with me and i was like oh that's the scariest feeling ever my heart like i was like okay yeah yeah and i was like okay what did i do wrong i didn't do anything wrong but like she's walking me up and she's like uh so did you

not sign a contract um earlier in the year saying that you wouldn't use any college board essays and i was like i did and then she's like and have you and i was like um i i don't know and then i i stopped i start stuttering and i start crying and she pulls me aside she's like someone in first period told me that you had this this and this and then she goes

I know you're not alone doing this and I wasn't I was like sharing with a ton of people and we were all okay but a bunch of one of them being Dan

one being this girl named Kimmy and one being my ex Mikey okay and they're all super good students very popular students too so I felt like this kind of like you know I felt I felt good. Yeah, and she got the El Chapo

Cuz you figured out how to print with Martin Luther Collectively are doing this together and she goes she basically says I Will take less points off you bring me their name if you rat yeah it was crazy and I was like nobody else did this and she's like you're lying and I said I'm the only one who did this and then she's like okay you're getting a zero on your next exam and I was like he's like unless you bring me names and I said I was the only person who did this. You were real as fuck. You stood tall. Damn. I did.

You did 10 toes down. I did. You didn't argue. I didn't argue. You take the hit. I didn't. You take the hit and then Barksdale takes care of you. I didn't at all.

I was just like, what am I going to, like, what the hell? Yeah. So I said, no, I'm not going to. And then I go to Danny at brunch or whatever the break is called. I'm like, Danny, I need to talk to you. And I tell him. And I'm like, Danny, so basically, you know, know the how we've been looking at the college board things and he goes he's like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you didn't say my name right and i was like

no i'm just getting to that part like i i said i was alone and he's like thank god he's like because leslie unlike you i have a future oh it was insane dude he hit me he's like i'm class president i'm supposed to go to law school You see Berkeley yada yada yada, and I was like whoa I just like he and then he's like I gotta go to class and he just like Scrams off and I don't even think he remembers us like if I were to bring it up to him today I don't think he would still know him. I don't I mean Can we call him you probably are forces in the day? He's doing well. He's got a gorgeous girlfriend. He's married.

I was going to say, is Danny doing well? He sounds so breaded and cool. He's a good looking dude. It's not too late to take him down. No, no, no. I'm happy for Danny. We take him down from the inside out. Honestly, I'm scared that this is going to come.

We're going to take the key to the gamer hood and we are going to find you. He did. That comment did burden me. I never forgot it because it was so like whoa i just i just like i covered for you and you just told me i have no future and it hurt my soul deep inside that's tough yes and then i people started going and so in like stats class um the girl kimmy who also cheated she like wouldn't talk to me she wouldn't associate herself with me and then the the teachers came in and they're like someone came in like um Leslie, food to the principal's office.

And everyone went, ooh. That was long, dude. So then I went in and then apparently, okay. Oh, also here's a drama. So basically Miss Heaton's here. Then I have this American Studies class that's like right next to me taught by two teachers who are history and lit. And it's like a combined class.

I do that same thing. Okay. There's like a duo teacher. There's a duo teacher class. It was awesome. So I loved it. And then, but their husband and wife,

so this is like, yeah, husband and wife were the deans of the school. Messy. Yeah, it was weird. So then I met with their husband, like,

like I'm TAing this class. This goes all the way to the top. What do you mean? This goes all the way to the vice president. She won for big time. They go all the way to the fucking president. I sit down and then then they're like so what's this drama you're causing in the history department and i argue for the fact that college like miss heaton isn't she's lazy i said she should not be using essays from college board that's resources for us to use as high schoolers

and i don't think she should be like you know i i fought for it and then my mom like message anyways i got a referral for it uh which they put on your record yeah but then um i think i talked myself out of it and like my mom yeah that was a bit i guess the most trouble i've ever gotten you still in business yeah i did that's so true you didn't crack referrals yeah but that word at the time was terrifying like that going on my college. Let's go bad for band Danny. No, no, he's cool. Let's go You should be afraid Coming the sound you hear at 2 a.m. Is not your air conditioning cuz we can believe this out no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no also like bullied me a little bit and then it made it was like a tiktok and then she messaged me on instagram was like leslie i did not know i bullied you because basically i looked at her and she was like oh my god it's so cute they always know that they always know they bully you but i don't know she actually remembered it but like she looked at me it was like leslie it's so cute how

uneven your eyes are like one eyelid is like you have one eyelid and then you just don't and she's like that is so it's so you always look so frumpy how frumpy you are being you i wouldn't be happy but i love that you're happy if i was you oh my god i would hate it so much oh my god you're so frumpy all the time my brain's all over the wall you remind me a lot of my grandma so yeah she basically dropped that on me and then i told the story on stream and then i made a tiktok she found the tiktok and that was the last time like we hadn't talked since high school and she's like oh my god i'm so sorry and i'm like don't worry about it it is generally better to make fake names in case i will say it's worked though right should? Should I replace Danny's name with a fake one? We can bleep out just the last name or something.

Sure. We can do the AI. Yeah, it's probably a small amount of Daniel. Yeah. It's probably going to be really easy to find. But the thing is, he's changed. He's probably a great guy now. He's so different now.

I have the opposite of this. I was meeting up with some high school friends for a wedding that i haven't seen in a long time and one of them uh his name's barrett he came up to me to apologize for something he did in high school and he's like dude i am so sorry do you remember when i squirted that pomegranate in your eye and I was like no I did like dig deep and he recounted this story I did it every day at lunch he he had like had a pomegranate and he was like flicking seeds around the room by doing something with like his hands and then he thought it'd be funny if I did one like into my face but it squirted juice into my eye at lunch, and I, like, yelled in pain. Didn't remember any of this.

Just, like... You probably overreacted. He's a good guy for remembering and apologizing. That's what I thought. I was like, it's kind of sweet that you would remember and, like, want to apologize. You know, I appreciate that part of it. But it was funny that I had, like, basically no recollection of it. I was like, I had to think about it for a while. I feel like Aiden's the kind of guy who is, like, someone bullied him in high school.

He was like, yeah, dude, remember when I shoved you down and spit on you and kicked you in the fucking nose really hard? He's like, I just thought that made you like me. We were playing spitball. Oh, Aiden! I thought it was because I fit in the locker better than you. I thought we were going to swap some time.

It's kind of nice. My most vivid memory of being bullied in high school was this one girl called me the F-slur. And she died senior year. No way. She died. Yeah. That's how it looks crazy.

Rip a real one. Rip a real one. You know, even within that time period, she became a better person. It was a very tragic. I'm smiling, but it's very tragic. But it is weird when you think about I didn't really get bullied that often and I can think about one shitty thing

somebody said to me and they literally there's no retribution. It's fucked up to think about. I'm in my 30s, man. How old are you? I'm 33. Okay, you're like in there. That's all we got. Good!

Never forget that. And it's like, you think, like, I've lived, like, the persons, people that have died in high school that went to my high school, which has happened, is very tragic. Yeah. I've lived like twice their life now. It's crazy to about and what have i done played tekken kuma you're very successful at tekken he's purple rank i have a question for you though actually what do you tell people like if you get in a conversation like a normal ish person like normie normie yeah thank you yeah like like for instance like uber drivers or something, and they ask, you know, what do you do? What do you end up saying?

What's your go-to? Instead of explaining everything. Or do you explain everything? I usually will say I work in marketing or like social media. Oh, she's fucking lying. She's lying. I imagine it doesn't come up a lot. I just, yeah, I usually ask about them. I't come up a lot i just yeah i usually

ask about them i always because a lot of uber drivers complain about how little they're paid and i i i've heard i just talk to them about like so like you're i'll tell them how much money i'm getting charged so that they have more information because they're like wait it doesn't they're like it hides it from me oh yeah so i just gap to them usually about them but if they ask what i do i'll usually never go into it because i don't want them being like hey oh my god can i write down your channel and and also i'm dropping you off at your house cool you guys live here it kind of that freaks me out it doesn't it does launch into the conversation of them like looking up the stuff which does not care about yeah we actually do a podcast uh it's called this. It's cool. It's like my best friend ever in the world.

He lives here. His name's Nick. We actually do it here, but we're going to do it there later. Recently, much like Ludwig, Aiden shows his conversational butthole. Yeah. If you will. You're your physical butthole and you are showing the emotional. I would say I do it both ways.

Hot dog and hamburger sauce. i also ask some questions like i i want to know it's fun to get to know somebody i recently paid the price for this and because that guy got a divorce because i got in the car with this guy and i you know he was asking me how my day was going. I was like, how's your day going? It's been good to like good rides today. He's like, I'm okay. And then it was like, honestly, and then he's like,

my, my wife asked me for a divorce two hours ago and he just launches into like what's going on with his life

and like how out of the blue this is. And he's crying. He's crying. He cried. Aiden's headphones in. He's trying to hear it through blade I just do not know what to say and I keep trying to like save the conversation and it's just not going well

It just keeps getting sad like emotional dump here. Wow. So are you just saying like I'm so sorry Well now I'm not talking to newbers anymore. No, you're going to come around again. Once the effect wears off, you know. That's so sad. But it was just so sad because it didn't sound like he had anybody else in his life to talk to about it. And that's like what that really that really hit. Because I was like, I don't know how to how to help you because you also don't have other people to turn to it sounds like when oh sorry oh when when uber drivers when they tell me like i got this job to meet people the second they say that i have to engage like when they're like

oh yeah man i don't know i'm just bored at home you run into they do say that they said you would be a fucking miserable uber driver i'd be really good. Do you ever get, sometimes you'll get an Uber, they'll pull up in a car that is clearly not meant, like just not economical to be an Uber. Like one dude, I remember he picked me up in his like Ram 3500. He's gotta be getting like five miles to the gallon. And I was like, why are you doing this?

And he's like, yeah, just way to fill the time. Like he does not care if he makes money just to be social i realize that some of them do that and the second they say like yeah i gotta meet i'm like i just want to talk to people around la or whatever i'm like oh shit i can't be like that person on my phone the whole time so i'm like yeah what do you do blah blah or what do you have any other jobs or you know whatever and they go and then we have a great convo and i'm like watching the time tick down i I'm like, okay Thank God and then I get out. I never lie. What you know, I never lie You know, oh you tell them what you say like little I mean, it's technically she could say I work in social media

It's like the same. It's like she's not lying either. Yeah, I am in mark. I'll just tell him outright Youtuber do they stay like what's your channel hold that thought. You guys know I was on this motorcycle trip. On the trip I went to a mini mart. And in the mini mart, this is a real story. A guy came up to us and said, you know how I stay sharp every day? He says I beat my thing every morning. No way. Every damn morning?

He says every day morning. Was it Matthew McConaughey? He tackles his shit to the ground and tickles it. And then he went green light and ran away. This is real. This happened. So anyway, I have the perfect thing for all of you in this room with me and maybe you guys at home to help beat your stuff better

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I like the mustache. I like it now. Let's let the smooth waves of the FS... Let's let the smooth waves of this machine take us away. Send us back. Oh, actually, can you continue your thought, Fuzzly? Back to you, Fuzzly. Do they say, like, what's your channel? They'll say like well. What do you do and then usually at the end of the ride?

They'll be like oh, what's your channel cuz then they're not driving and they want to look it up And then they say you play a mo go say smosh. I say smosh, and I'm the I'm the one that's got all the weird tattoos They're off right now Bit me in the butt is recently with my Japanese teacher because I have a Japanese teacher I do lessons twice a week for my Japan trip

that's coming up. I'm doing a motorcycle trip across Japan. May. What time? First two weeks of May. I'm going to be there too. Actually?

Yeah. You're going back? I'm going to be there May 2nd to like 50. For what? My parents and I. Wait, I'm going the same exact date range.

That is weird. Except I'm motorcycling across the country. I'm going to be in Kyoto. See you guys there. I'll run into you. No way. If you want to stop, he'll also be there. Hey, see you guys there.

Actually? Yeah. He'll be filming. Oh, cool. Maybe we'll get dinner. Wow. Or go to one of those, what do they call? Nonsense.

No. They put a bullet in my head. I want to see your dad's meat. You guys can eat some horse mackerel. That is crazy! I want to see your dad's meat. I want to go to the onsen with your dad. What's crazy about that? All dads have meat.

Where? Your dad? Your dad. He's in San Jose. Your dad's in San Jose. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, Mr. Fu, how you doing today? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Mr. Fu with the damn vein down the middle. My dad knows you, by the way. He knows you're content. He watches you. He thinks you're funny. Mr. Foo, how you doing today? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Mr. Foo with the damn thing down the middle.

My dad knows you by the way. He knows your content, he watches you, he thinks you're funny. Mr. Foo! Not that far, Mr. Foo. Mr. Foo, if you wanna hop in a tub in Kyoto, I'm me. Mr. Foo, you got the thickest shit I ever did. There is a more than 0% chance he's watching this right now and I'm mortified. Mr. Foo, that was not my words.

Dad, I am so sorry. It looks like progresso soup. It looks like a tub of cookie dough. Mr. Fu. Mr. Fu, dude, you're going to Japan. So anyway, I'm doing Japanese lessons. I've told my Japanese teacher that I'm a YouTuber. He's a sex pest. He is a sex tourist. Wait, what? What's a sex tourist? He moved to Ukraine. That's not cool. He moved to Ukraine to have sex with Ukrainian women because he finds them to be the most beautiful.

Is this real? This is real. He's in war-torn Ukraine right now. Doing virtual Japanese lessons with Ludwig. Yeah. And other people. But he told you he's like, he goes to countries to have sex with different people? No, he specifically moved to Ukraine because he finds them to be more beautiful and wants to live there. He's also not just telling Ludwig. True.

What do you mean? You're getting showed. Oh yeah, I walked in on him having sex once. No you did not. I did. Not your Japanese, wait, what do you mean you're getting showed oh yeah I walked in on having sex once no you did not I did not your Japanese like what do you mean like I so we have lessons twice a week and sometimes I miss my lessons because I'm just busy I don't tell him I don't fucking do anything I just don't show up and then one time I don't show up and then 20 minutes in I do show up because I was just late and then he's off cam and I hear and then and then and then i uh i'm like i'm like the noise that you make i go domo and then and then he peeks his little head around and he goes oh

and that means wait a second and then he disappears and then he comes back and i'm and i'm pretty sure he boned and i'm like but i play cool i'm like how you doing and he's shirtless and he's shirtless i'm like everybody's usually shirtless but i'm like but i play cool i'm like how you doing and he's shirtless and he's shirtless i'm like but he's usually shirtless but i'm like how you doing he's like well pretty good now you could guess why but we don't talk about that and then you go like the wolf is we do 50 minute i do that for 50 minutes and so i walked in on him but anyway he knows i'm a youtuber and he likes that because he wants to be a tiktoker and so but presumably to have sex with more and more beautiful ukrainian women i think he just wants financial freedom too he wants to be able to buy an apartment i guess who doesn't you're right he's really stressed about money

and so but he's really stressed about money and i don't wait for him to save money he knows i'm he knows i'm rich and and so every time i do a lesson which happened today he goes oh yeah i'm trying to buy an apartment you're rich when'd you buy an apartment you buy a house, which happened today, he goes, oh, yeah, I'm trying to buy an apartment. You're rich. When did you buy an apartment? You buy a house. You buy a house. Oh, he's getting comfy with you. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. He's just like, I think, excited at the idea of talking to someone with a level of income that maybe he desires. And so he just asks very, like, very, you know, what would normally be like invasive questions? The one he said today was like, he was like, he's like, I saw a ferrari i don't think i want one but i just want to be able to buy one and i'm sad that i think i'll never be able to buy one in my lifetime damn that's what he says

to me and then and then and i'm like ah yeah he wants you to buy him a ferrari for his birthday and then he goes and then he goes well actually that's another one he goes he goes i've been thinking about buying a steam deck and i'm like you should get one it's really good he's like yeah but it's 500 bucks and it's like i don't know if I really steam deck oh okay I don't know if I really need it you know and I although I want it I want to make sure I'm not buying impulsively and then he's like man I wish my birthday was sooner I just asked you this guy sounds miserable he's like I hate this guy everything you've described about this guy I hate he's dude, you know how it would be so fun right now is like my birthday at a bowling alley.

Can I bowl at my birthday's tomorrow? And no one's really planning anything. So you're staying with him. Like you're not. Uh-huh. You're like. Oh, yeah. He's the number one rated teacher on the app.

That's. I kind of want to have him as a teacher just so I know what you're experiencing. I mean, I can ask him whatever I want. Look, today I was asking about tiny dicks and the correct way to say it. God, we got it. Can you pass me your teacher's info? I'm like, I would love to have the same teacher and just to see how, you know. I wonder how he'd treat you.

Yeah, exactly. We can compare. Yeah. You know? I can get you his info. He's good. Yeah, that's cool. I've been trying to.

Yeah. I'm trying. I was in an Uber one time, right? Coming back and I was with Saikuno. And that's when the lady was like hey what do you guys do and we looked at each other and i was like oh we uh we game we play game and then he's like oh gaming and we're like yeah and she's like you know i hear uh i hear people are making money doing that i'm like oh and she's like no like people are they're they're uh they do they stream they stream these games and they make millions they make millions of dollars what can you believe that and we're like yeah no that is crazy and she's like

they live in these big houses with each other they all stream together and a lot of them are in like groups like offline tv. She basically almost went there. It was like she, like everything she was describing, she's like, they play games together. They live in these houses. They do diaper play. They do diaper play together. And they all put on diapers.

And they fuck around. And then Sykuna's there. He's like, yeah, I guess some of them do. We are just looking at each other. I feel like Sykuna would have been pushing this. Would other. I guess I'm as friends as I'm going to get. I feel like Sykuna would have been pushing this. Would he have not? I feel like he would have been like,

it's not just millions. Sometimes it's like tens of millions. I don't know. I don't mean to jump the gun. It could be a lot more than that. We were just like, oh, wow. We kept looking at each other laughing and she just kept getting more and more detailed like in describing the life.

And then she pulls up to our house and it was like a, you know, a really nice house. And then she's like, you. And we're like, thank you so much for the ride. OK, bye. And this is an Airbnb. It's a scene in Shutter Island when Leonardo DiCaprio finds out. It was so funny. Anyway, it was just like a it was we get out and we're like that is crazy anyway so

that was that's an uber so that's when i was honest and i was like yeah we're in gaming but we try to like say we keep it like less be modest it's more of the exhaustion of having to contextualize everything for someone who's like pretty much knows who ninja is yeah and you're like you have to sit there and like i find that exhausting i think Aiden finds it very fun. I think my quick truthful version is I just tell people I work for Ludwig and I make his merch, which is true. And the conversation usually ends there.

And then if they're more inquisitive, I think if somebody is excited enough to ask you questions about it, then it's fun to talk to them about it. I get my, maybe you say something like, you know like spam we change the P to a C you know so that was actually that was me that was my idea

you get out how does it come to me I don't know I don't know I don't call it mint so let's talk about that for a moment A lot of those. What did you think you were going to do before you were streaming? She studied biology. She could name any part of your body. So mitosis. Yeah. Different than meiosis. Yeah.

Mitosis, meiosis. Yeah. Well, meiosis, meiosis and mitosis. Mitosis is like the, they're the same. Meiosis is like, you know. Different. A little different, yeah. Cool.

I studied biology at UC Irvine, thinking I was going to be a doctor. At Irvine? Yeah. UCI. UCI. Zot Zot. Arvark. What the fuck is that?

Peter the Anteater. Yeah. Anteater. Oh my god. You know what's the last one? It's an anteater? Yeah, Zot Zot. That's pathetic. No, it's not. We used to go to melee tournaments at UCI. Zot Cave.'s an anteater? Yeah, Zot Zot. That's pathetic.

No, it's not. We used to go to melee tournaments at UCI. Zot Cave. Where did you go? Oh, Zot Cave. Yeah. Yeah. When I was there, it was a billiards room.

Oh. Oh yeah, because the eSports club is newer there. Yes. And then I go there now and it's all gamers. My mascot's a sun devil. Oh, that's kind of cool. Do you know Captain Face Roll? Yeah, do you happen to know griffin who are

these they went oh i don't i don't know any i didn't know gamers back then i used to make fun of like my friend for playing lol i would call it lol and i was like can you stop playing lol and come socialize he's like i'm grinding a gold yeah in college i didn't play any games except pokemon that was it like that friend's probably so mad right now that you know he laughed at me later he's like oh who's playing league now and i was like oh my god patty i'm so sorry i bullied you i mean i didn't bully him it's more just like dude come socialize what are you doing you're so lame and he just closed the door i mean i was like damn you're about to be a teacher i was i was gonna be uh i was gonna be well i want to go to be a vet and i did like

3 000 hours i was working in a finch lab studying zebra finches. And then I worked at a hospital. So I'd go to school. Wait, 3,000 hours is insane. Yes, absolutely. They make you before you apply. That is so many hours. Yeah, I've done it all in the hospital. Could you like feasibly pivot to being a vet or an Aryan? Oh, I have to go to

vet school, but like I have my GRE done. I've done my hours. Wow, so you're like at least over three in that definitely She was like plat a bit. Yeah, she has a thousand and stuck my finger in a lot of butts Animal but anal gland expression. Oh, yeah, and then I had to like, you know, like alive and they're alive Well, no, this is just a regular thing you gotta do that. You never express it. I don't find anything. Well. No this is just a regular thing You got to just like magnet fishing like a toy car No, no

Gears yeah, no you just stick it in and you you can be one of those youtubers that like goes and fishes stuff out of The ocean with a big magnet, but you could do it in the rectum of a gate It's not messed up saying just different things that are magnet fishing why what is it? That's not what a bottle is What is magnet fishing just we put a giant fucking magnet in the water and vaccine it's what it is Oh to get like golden riches from the ocean When you make the call like how do you know when to pivot like when did this be well when my vet that i was working under so you might i would go into work right clock in at eight get out or nine and get out at eight i would go in and i wouldn't say a word like i was really shy so i'd

be like good morning and then i just start walking the dogs and start like giving the baths and all that stuff and only when they needed me i was there and then i posted like a video of me like yapping or singing or something on facebook and one of them my co-workers was like Leslie Don't take this the wrong way, but I did not realize you had a personality and I was like whoa It was more like I didn't realize you're such a gem like you don't say anything at work and I was like oh my It's just cuz I don't know what to say and then that comment plus uh my vet uh the vet i was working under was like les are you sure you want to be a vet and i was like yeah i i really love this i love animals and stuff and she's like yeah but i i think you might be better with maybe like something with

like kids or social like something she's like basically saying like you're not gonna be a good vet and i took that i was like whoa if a vet is saying i'm not gonna be good i'm not gonna be good so i come back and i was like i was in a program called spot at the time and a student parent orientation program and i work a lot with students and i was like kind of already like leaning that way anyway i come home and i'm like ina and that's my best friend at the time and i was like ina i quit i'm not gonna be about i'm gonna be a teacher and so then i made an executive decision that would then then then i decided to take a year off and then in that year teach while then that's when i started gaming and then after that year i was going to go to ucla for grad school but then you started streaming during that time you started learning lineups on dust too i don't know i was

playing league at the time only yeah so i didn't start cs go until I got bullied by this bigger streamer And he pulled up my stream on his channel and what started like flaming me and was like wow this girl Probably can't do this that she looks like this and I was getting shit on by his viewers Oh, they would come into my freaking e girl can't fucking mid lane. Where's he at now? Who is it? Who is it? There's no way this chick knows the outside smokes on YouTube. Is it Tyler1? No, his name is Godaze. He's known for like raging really hard on like DAZED. He's like a former pro player. He's a league guy?

No, CSGO player. Oh. He used to do like knife giveaways. Anyways, he was... Used to. He doesn't stream anymore, I don't think. But he used to have doesn't stream anymore i don't think but he used to have like 5 000 viewers and i was like 100 viewers and he i remember my chat was like filling up with people going like lol daze is watching you right now and i'm like who is that

guy and we got into a i went to a stream i was like so embarrassed to see my face on his stream and i was like and i wrote in his chat i was like can we get on a call right now like what what are you doing and so he gets on a call and i like we start like going at it but then we're like wait and then by the end i won his chat over and his whole chat's like mom wow yeah and then they're like we love her bring mom back and he's like shit you're taking like my mods and shit and then i started like recruiting his viewers over to mine no i didn't kill him he he his that. He killed his own career. He was just fucking dazed burger joint and you came in

and said, I'm turning this shit into a McDonald's. What if we call this shit Thuesley Burger? You're a fry cook. And I'm the founder. He still did well.

He had his own thing, but that introduced me to CSGO. Because his viewers were like, yo, you should play CS. And I downloaded the game and I'm like, damn. This game is awesome.

You became a CS streamer for a bit after that yeah for a while Wait, and this is 2016. Yeah, oh What what were you were you getting any inside odds of like the casino? I didn't know any of that. I didn't do any of the gambling. I just played the game. I get you. I got you.

I would say if I did. Mr. Fu, you got a problem on your hands. I would be fully honest if I did any of that. I did not. No, but that's when I found out the pro scene. I was like, whoa. And I was a big fan of C9. Gadoodle and Tarek was formerly there.

You watched back then? A little bit, yeah. You're a big Jordan Nothing Gilbert fan. Yes, nothing. Yeah, I met him at an event and I was like, oh my god, nothing. Did you ever watch Counter-Strike Summit? No. You didn't see me and Ludwig interview Kenny S?

No, I didn't. I interviewed Kenny S. I didn't know you actually might like that. It was very funny. I didn't know a damned thing about Counter-Strike. I still don't know a damned thing. No, I didn't. I interviewed Kenny S. I didn't know you actually might like that. I didn't know a damned thing about Counter-Strike. I still don't know a damned thing. No, I've never pretended. I actually like it because then when I talk to Tarek, you know, like a lot

of people know him for winning the major and like his laurels that he rests on and they mean nothing to me. And the laurels that he rests on. The laurels. They mean nothing to me. You see him as simply just another man who is unable to smile properly. Well, he's better at it

when he's candid. Yeah. Have you seen his smiles when he tries? Yeah, it's not. I have a strong visual of it, actually. I don't know why.

I've never thought about it. People around the world have reported dreaming of it all simultaneously, having never met the guy. We won the major. It's funny because he's not here we had him on we had him on

we had him on we had him smile at the end it was as bad as it was it was awesome he was a sweetheart about it but his genuine smile is good it's just his oh yeah

he's got a heart full of wonder yeah how could it not be wow wow we just jumped everywhere that was crazy that was a good talk that was good

what was the damn yard podcast. Ludwig was mad because he skipped the last episode last week. He decided to- I did not skip it. Slime fucked up because he's a dumb twit. All right. Let's work this out. Let's talk about what happened.

There's nothing to talk about. He just fucked up. There's nothing. Basically, I was in Rosamond, California. I was hanging out with Chris Pine. He overschedules things. I was hanging out with Chris Pine. That's right.

He overschedules things with more famous people. We're talking about Chris Pine. We're talking about Chris Pine. He doesn't appreciate hisuled things? I was hanging out with Chris Pine. That's right. We're talking about Chris Pine. He doesn't appreciate his friends who gave him everything. Me and CP go way back. I skipped out on the show for some CP. Sorry, guys. Can't make it. Yeah, I know. I get it.

Quiet night in with CP. No, we got it. We got it It's not even getting bigger It's just It's Chris Pine It's me, Chris Pine, Michael Reeves That's it Broden, we're packing zins Actually

Yeah, we're packing Well, I'm packing zins He's fucking lying He saw Chris Pine He was hanging out with Michael Reeves Doing a motorcycle class We did a motorcycle class for this Japan trip in preparation for it And it was like a two-day thing is the only time they did it and I said hey guys come up and we can record

With Michael Reeves and maybe CP shows up who knows and and so they say oh hell Yeah And they all plan to meet here to drive up together To record on the drive up to record while they're driving the car two birds one stone And they all say yes to this and then slime Slime drives up by himself, ignoring everything. I didn't see the group DM. I am mad at Aiden for doing the same thing. And then they go, Slime, where are you at?

And he goes, oh, fuck, I went up by myself. And they go, ah, okay, you know, come back. And then he doesn't answer for an hour. He drives to a dead zone for an hour. For an hour he doesn't answer and he keeps driving. They thought I died. And they thought he died because they keep calling him and he's not answering I was just driving where it was up through like the mountains like the fucking it's North Atlantic

So you went to the motorcycle class no no I drove through the mountains probably got service They were like you know what just come home. We'll just abandon ship and I was like I'm sorry, and then I so that's actually what happened But if he would have never scheduled over the one thing he has to do scheduled every week then maybe we would be in a different situation. Yeah. It's both of you.

Thank you. It's almost in. Case closed. I had to do the freaking motorcycle all the time. I had to because Michael Reeves has such a big YouTube channel. I'm going to kill myself on the motorcycle and then fucking write you in my will to get everything so you remember for the rest of your life. With all your things?

Except for... Do I get the key to the gamer hood? No, that's the only you don't get. That's literally the only you don't get. Dude, that's going to be so cruddy having a mansion. Fuck. You're going to be so mad. You're going to be so pissed off in my mansion.

It'll be so cruddy being in a big house with a cool fucking life and all my shit now. I will say one time I teared up thinking about it was it was a weird moment. I did because on that damn motorcycle so damn much. But you know, the Christmas album he did. Yeah, I had this idea of let's say something horrible happened. He died. And this is the only way I can remember him while driving is listening to him sing Christmas songs. I got really sad.

You teared up? Yes, I teared up just a tiny little bit, but I didn't cry fully because I'm a strong man. Well done. No tear falling. No tear falling. That's when it's embarrassing.

Want to put it back in? Yeah. I sucked it back into my eyes. That's when you let up. You have to like, put it in your eyes. I can get one out if I really try. Really?

I did it once. You have 60 seconds. No, I've already done it. You've seen me do it. No. Yes, you have. I have not. Why do you lie so boldly? I've already done it. You've seen me do it. No. Yes, you have. I have not. Why do you lie so boldly?

I've not seen this. Look up Ludwig Faye Kars on YouTube. Look up Ludwig Faye Kars on YouTube. Oh, you were streaming. We were the same call. You've done it on the show. Yeah. Yeah, but I was, oh, I guess, yeah.

Oh, you used to be in person. I thought we were in person. Oh. Yeah, but you did it. It was something. Why do you phrase it like that? It's funny. Like, it's just a little bit, like you're staring at a camera.

I was trying really hard to cry. What were you thinking about? When I think about crying, I think about There's women who go unappreciated? Yeah. Really? And I think about how some workers don't have the rights others have. Yeah, you think about unions. I think about unions.

I start to name every woman I know in my head. Oh my god. Is this it? Yeah, this is it. Dude, my hair looked horrible. No, man. It looks orange. Why is my hair so orange? Oh my god. What are you thinking about right now?

I think I usually try to think about what my father's voice sounded like. Jesus Christ. That is so sad. Why would he ask the question if he didn't want the answer? No, no. I wanted to know this. That is so sad. This is also an exercise in us pivot didn't want the answer? No, no, I wanted to know this. That is so sad. This is also an exercise

in us pivoting and not torpedoing the vibes thinking about your dead dad. And you know what, Slime? I got there. You got there. You're a fucking goat, man. I don't know what to tell you.

What was I experiencing from this? Like, did you tell us that you were doing this? You're playing with a Rubik's Cube. Right there, right there. I'm so bored. Right there. Oh, he got the tear.

Wow, dude, you look good. I got that shit. Oh, the blonde is good. No, I don't think it is. Really? You don't like it? I like it when it's partial, but like... What if I go blonde on the stache? No, just the frosted tips only. Frosted tips on the stache sash don't do either of that. They're all fake to each other. No, I wanted to shave it

We think he looks ugly as shit. It's not ugly as shit. Why would you say to him then? No, it's just It's not ugly as shit. It is not it's better if it's gone You're doing the things those awful people did to you You're saying it. You're doing the things those awful people did to you. No. You know what? You're saying I'm dead. Oh, my God.

It looks so much better gone. I think you're doing the girl thing. What's the girl thing? Where it's like a girl posts a picture and you're like, wow, radiant goddess has descended from the sky to grace us with her presence once again. Oh, my God. Mother's taking a shit on my brain and my eyes. Actually, sorry.

I never said that. I never said his mustache slayed. Do you ever feel pressure to do that? Sometimes, but I don't really do it. Boys, we gotta rise up. We gotta never said that. I never said his mustache. Do you ever feel pressure to do that? Sometimes, but I don't Boys, we gotta rise up. We gotta do that more. I feel like I don't

really do that. Think about it. Do I do that often? I'm trying to think and there's two things that have popped in my head that I refuse to say out loud. Okay, we'll talk about it.

But I'm kind of hurt already. I do think maybe you are not the main culprit of this. I don't really do it. But I think guys are the opposite where rather we will

point out the worst thing possible as fast as possible. All right. Next episode, it'll be gone. I'll keep it for the week. No, see, now he's been bullied into it. No, no, no. Good.

His shame is okay for him to experience. We weaponize to condition our friends socially. Next time, we're all I have right now. Do me a favor next time. Grow it all out together. I'm peer pressured. Go out like all this? And then shave this.

This grows so unevenly I think it might look better though if you have if I stick through I think I can do it But it the period I have to go I look worse Like two months into this mask Dream mode like full dream like yeah, that's what the mask is The mask I shaved my whole damn beard I've had for like four months and no one said anything?

You had a beard? I know. Isn't that funny? No one asked. I know. Isn't that interesting? We don't care. I think because it looks so natural.

I don't... No, I... It's happening to me again. The moment he walked in, I instantly noticed and I didn't say a word about it. Today was the day. He walked in and I was like,

I went in my head, I went, oh, he shaved. I didn't say a damn word to him. Why not? I think if you clean shaved, I'd notice. Oh, really? Yeah. I used to do this thing in high school where I would style my hair to the right, but there

was a day where I was like, what if I style it to the left? Would anyone notice? Did you? I did. And one girl I liked to notice. She said something. What'd you say? She said, your hair's different today.

And I went. Oh, my God. In high school, that hits so hard. It does. Oh, my God. She noticed me. Oh oh my god It's so hard. It is oh my god. She knows you oh my god. We love oh my god Yeah, well if she noticed No, your hair looks different to the girl in high school names Michaela, and that'd be it She told me she liked how I dress. I have not forgotten it I'm an adult writing that one for a ride that's my entire life. Yeah I'm an adult man. You've been riding that one for a while.

I've been riding that my entire life, yeah. Do you just... Never mind. No, no, go ahead. No, it was just stupid thought. No, no, share it. I remember one time I was on a bus, and a girl said,

nice penny board. It's like a really small skateboard made of plastic. Okay, okay. Thought about it for months. I didn't even know her name. What we're saying is, girls hold an immense amount of power when they give us little tiny

baby compliments. And then we think about them for 10,000 years. And then they can also destroy us. I agree. And Salim will say something like, you're a Greek Adonis who can do no wrong. You have a body that- Means nothing. He pushes it off.

It means nothing to me. It's literally- I sit on that. I brush it off. You're like thinking about it. Wow, it's different. Oh, it's like when you said you were athletic and Kaide and them laughed in your face. And that really hurt him. And now you're still thinking about it. Yeah, I was fucking- you said you were athletic and kaide and then laughed in your face and that really hurt him still thinking about it yeah i was fucking who was it

it was kaide and lily and then i forget what we're talking about but i just said the sentence i think we're talking about dodgeball and then i was talking about the teams and she was like yeah our team wasn't strong enough and i was like i wanted an athlete i was like i'm an athlete and then they both just sorry and you're the athlete You're right of course obviously No I stand by You are athletic He's athletic Would you call him an athlete

I would say you're athletic Athlete is like a label Red Bull thinks so Are you really a Red Bull athlete He's a Red Bull player I'm on a team with athletes oh

blood thinks he's on the team blood thinks he's on the team thank you very much for watching the yard Leslie is there anything you'd like to shout out it's over it's over

it's been 90 minutes isn't that crazy it's done it's done wow that was a real you just ended it on that note like being bullied I feel like we should

close it out you can say whatever you want right now now I don't. That's a lot of pressure. Don't think about the damn vaccine. Say what you think about the vaccine. I don't want you to monetize. I don't want to talk about penis. You don't want to talk about Mr. Food?

Why don't you ask me? You want to say something to your father? She looks like damn Folgers. Stop! Grownups, Har. You know what? You guys ended it. This is your show. End it how you will end it.

You can check out Leslie on YouTube for however long her contract is. Wait, that's crazy. I should be getting that. Just some rich guy humor. You think I'm gonna dip the second it's over? It's insane. You're gonna kick day dip the second All y'all are

Y'all you're not no yeah, I'll be alone in that You're gonna your contracts done today. You're going to where I'm loyal to you There's some stuff on you I thought about it, and I'm like there's some stuff that I don't want to leave behind You know so I don't know what to do. Maybe thought about it, and I'm like, there's some stuff that I don't want to leave behind. You know? So I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll hop between them. I'm like, is that, like, good? I'll talk to you afterwards. I've seen a couple of government names in chat.

It's weird. I do like seeing someone called, like, Luke Denali. And then being like, Luke, why did you say you're jerking to this? It is. That part is weird. The chat. But other than that. Anyway, it's Boosley everywhere.

Check out Boosley. Yeah. She is going to do a 2v2 Tuesday next week and maybe one in person sometime. Who knows? I will. I'll plan it. I'm happy.

I need to do variety more. So this is nice. I've been living in my shell of a- She won't just play Hearthstone off stream all the time. I don't play Hearthstone. She won't play TFT off stream all the time. That's what I'm planning. She won't smoke blunts playing Hearthstone.

I'm not smoking blunts. Mr. Fu, she smokes blunts and plays TFT. I swear. She smokes bulk weed, Mr playing hearts. I'm not smoking blunts. Mr. Fu, she smokes blunts and plays CFTS. She smokes bulk weed, Mr. Fu. Mr. Fu, your daughter hates crap. I don't do any of that.

I play TFT and I watch That loud. Dune. You just watch Dune over and over. I watch Dune over and over. That's some loud activity.

I'll say that. Yeah, okay. That's it. Thank you all for watching. Go check out the pre-mail. Goodbye for now. See you on the Patreon. She won't see that. You won okay. That's it. All right, thank you all for watching. Go check out the pre-mail. Goodbye for now. See you on the Patreon. She won't see that.

You won't be there. Why not?