The Yard - Ep. 144 - Getting Weird with Brittany Broski

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by Brittany Broski! They discuss how she got her start on YouTube, her dream job outside of YouTube, and her Wattpad about Cole Sprouse in the Gulf War...

All right, so we've got so we're all fucking weird now. We got a gayler over here. We've got Booboy bubble boy sick and disgusting our guest requests not to be near you yeah for knowing you were sick. Yeah and then we How's it going never forget that this is such a we think our guests will think it was a sailor like me Well, let's let's get her down who wants to the intro. I was at the end show cuz someone else's do it this time Yeah, but what can you I. Who wants to do the intro? I always do the intro. Can someone else just do it this time? Yeah, Bubba, can you? Before we get to it. You're speaking like a Protestant mother right now.

Before we get to it, young man. Yeah. I just want everyone to know Ludwig fucked this day up harder than I think he's ever fucked the day up. I will. I've fucked up a lot of days. That's the reason why we're all jumbled. We're all in different seats. Aiden's got a sailor hat on. He may have a dimple.

I became this because of you. You have an accent on the whole fucking time. You look cute. And so I just want that to be clear that my chagrin for Ludwig is at an all-time high still. Spermaid man. And with that, let's welcome our guest to the podcast, Brittany Broski. Brittany Broski, everybody. Nice. That! Nice.

Ooh, yeah. That was clean. It's a slide made for children. No, and you tell me that now. No, I didn't want to tell you that. No, you killed her. That's my child-parent. Woo!

Yeah! Welcome back. Welcome back. Let's hear it, team. So happy to be here. Love you. Stay away from me. He's infected.

Hurts my feelings. He'll spread it. It has nothing to do with his illness. You said he wants to be a super spread you. Stay away from me. He's infected. He's infected. He'll spread it. It has nothing to do with his illness. You said he wants to be a super spreader. I have a question. Go ahead. It's actually very on brand considering the chair that I'm in. Who are you?

Who am I? What a rude fucking thing to ask our guest. It's a solid question. It's a solid question. You've heard of Joe Rogan. Yes. The female version. No.

Okay. So no magnets in your blood. You were on Fear Factor? I was. I was. Damn vaccine. Yeah, stand up. It's very red pill, what I do online.

So hope this clears some stuff up. That's what I recognized when I was in the studio environment. Like when the camera stopped rolling, I was like, oh, this is red pill. It is. It's hard to be around. Unless you're rocking with that sort of thing. Oh, no, I'm raw. I was like, I took Trent after it immediately.'s hard to be around unless you're rocking with that oh no i'm wrong i was i was like i took trent after it immediately should we explain why we're

in the new seats well very simply it's because slime's a bit sick and don't point at me and don't say my name okay neither of those you're allowed to do a bit sick and and i messaged britney but i think i foolishly did it on Instagram you did and then you texted me like I was like hey Sounds a bit sick if you don't want to do we can delay it and then you touch me like I'm here You did have maybe the most excited entrance as a guest of the show There's nothing about this studio that isn't filled with whimsy You think we're a whimsical bunch Didn't think so

We were talking about Jake and Amir. We were talking about Jake and Amir. Oh no we were talking about Jake and Amir earlier. I don't even know who Jake and Amir are. You basically just said the brown guy. That's crazy. Alright this sailor's gonna have to seize. This sailor may have been around too many ports. Just got new orders. Dude we just did an unpaid intern with uh, everyone's leaking. Can I leak?

Fine dude. Fine, fine. Fuck it. I love when you're stressed out and you're fucking struggling with your mentality. Is your mic always just broken, you just deal with this? Yeah, I'm young money rich money. We used to dump it in here, and Squeaks was one of the guests and we had a task where, or a job, where we had to have

everyone's pictures printed out, and we show up at a set and it's like, mm-hmm, Austin's show, that one's good, that one's good it and Squeaks this photo is Vivek Ronswami Who is not squeaks no different guy no joke was being made this was an accident? No, no

Who did it it was a it was a more innocent accent accident? It was it was an apartment that doesn't know who he is and apparently when you google Squeaks that's the first image. Can you try it, Zipper? Zippers are Jamie. This is Vivek Ramaswamy. He's been leaning into this for like months, right? Sorry, Chipper? Zipper.

Zippers are Jamie. I did actually think those were real people in the corner. I was like, oh, Chipper, nice to meet you. Who's your Jamie on your podcast? Oh, you do it all? You know yourself? I am in that room alone. One of the few people who does their own research. Wow.

Here we go. Yeah, so not being proven by Google. I don't see him, bro. We just got racist people. Wait. Isn't that? That's just squeaks to the beard. You're just pointing at squeaks of the beard going wait That is that is in with the vague So if they if that'd be funny if they took the picture of squeaks photoshopped out of a vague Oh my took the vague not so they just flip the coin. Yeah

Have you ever recorded your show alone and then you finish it and then you go check and it's like, whoops, wasn't recording? I have. I've recorded video and no audio, which is awesome for a podcast format. Yeah. That sucks so bad. It's really horrible. But sometimes there have also been times because like, it's just me, you know, and it's in my house, too. So that helps.

I'll have like two or three of these liquid diarrhea. I have to pause the recording. And it's nice because you don't have to like wait you know like sorry guys i need to go chip blood in the bathroom it's like i can come back at whatever time dude freedom's not being a streamer sucks because i go to the bathroom and they time me if i come back late they're like in there a while you fall in and it's like no i took a shit i took a big shit with my pants and then if i'm quick because i start going to go faster and i've been doing this thing where i while i am peeing i wash my hands oh that's really nice no it's not it's not nice now so i sit and pee and i lean over because i can reach the sink and i go oh you're sat peeing yeah oh that's right yeah that sounds

really hard and i wash and then and then I flush with my knuckle. That way it's not infected. Right. And then I go out, and then I get lambasted for being too quick. And they're like, I bet you got stinky hands. Lambasted is a great word. Yeah, you didn't warsh. I washed.

You didn't warsh. That's like grown straight man discovers washing hands. It was huge. Emotional. He's got the colorblind glass he's like Waste hi bidet Pretty I discovered something about yesterday. Let's hear it slime is notorious for Not knowing our guests like famously

No Slime is notorious for not knowing our guests. Like, famously. That's great. Specifically women or just? No. If this makes you feel any better, we went to Mr. B's studio, filmed an episode with him, and then in the beginning of the episode, Slime said, so what do you do? No, I didn't. I said, I've never seen one of your videos. Okay, that's valid.

Which I think is kind of cool. Right. You're different. You're not like other girls i'm not i'm weird he prides himself on not knowing anything except for like cpu processing my asshole i don't pride myself on it i think just culturally lazy unless i like the thing intensely yeah get that he doesn't know anything about you because he's lazy does that feel better it feels really good

Something cuz I've just watched your videos and in the in the royal court right and and trying many different Like foods coffees etc. Yeah, and so I was like who's pretty and then you just posted the mean army Oh, Aiden Aiden, you just posted the meme class dots connected in Aiden? Aiden. You just posted the meme. Classic. And then dots connected in my brain, and I felt like a fool. Wait, you didn't know? That actually makes me feel good you didn't know. I had no clue, and I've seen it throughout the years, and I was like, wait a second. I was going to ask, does that haunt your dreams every day? Do you know how much legwork I've done to distance myself from that? So the fact that you

didn't know i'm literally like god is real why do you wish to bury the legacy because when you're given a nom nomiker moniker moniker like in from friends team um yeah moniker lowinsky um given a moniker like that, it's a brand. And so you try to break away from the brand as soon as you can. And for a long time, I capitalized on it because I was getting paid to do it. And then I was like, this is awful. And so I tried to diversify the content. This was in 2019, by the way.

That's not that long ago. Five years ago. That's a long time ago. It feels like a long time ago. Can I maybe pitch you an idea? Sure. That we can save your brand? Because it's struggling, I think. It's like a sinking dam. It's going to long time ago. Can I maybe pitch you an idea? Sure. We can save your brand. It's struggling, I think.

It's going to be part ship. We're in the trenches. Somehow you podcast with Ludwig, you get a million views. I podcast with him every day. We never get a million views. You should try maybe some rubber tits next time. We did talk earlier today about an episode of me being very buxom. I love that.

Okay, so you get a kombucha. You get on that damn TikTok of yours and you go, this is just all right. That's all you say. The inverse. You just go, yeah, that was cool. Chill. And you just break it in their minds.

Can you hold my hand? There's a reason I do this and not you, brother. I'm going to go ahead and keep doing what I was doing. And you keep sort of right stewing you you're saying right now. That's not a million-dollar idea Yeah, you know it workshopped it could be as it stands right now. Help me out. Help me out youtuber I hope you have a million dollar idea million dollar idea. How about I buy a grocery store and grocery store and lock people in it and not all the groceries. And I don't show them their family. Interesting.

72 days straight. I'm going to pitch you three ideas that have been had on this podcast. And as the YouTuber, I'm going to pitch them all. Yeah. So it's a parcel. Unbiased pitching. And I'll be unbiased. You're also a YouTuber.

Yes, but I'm making it up and not that good at it. Sure. So I'm going to ask you which one's the best, middle, and worst idea. Okay. That's a great, okay. First idea. I took care of nine dogs to see if it was easier

than taking care of one dog. To prove the hypothesis, the dogs take care of each other. Is this the title? Yes. Yes. It's wordy. It's a little,

it's a bit of a mouthful. The dot, dot, dots start after I took care of them. It's 99 characters. We're just under. Okay, next idea. I made parking in LA free. And I pay for like 50 people's parking.

50? That's about all I can get to in a day. It could be thousands. I make it free for them for a day. But like not everyone, but like a lot of people Okay, as many as I can okay, let's all get bored Final idea how far can I get in one hour? And I try it with my feet and then a boat and then a plane and I see how

Which one do you think would do the best? How far do you and it's not necessarily the furthest wins just like maybe it beats your expectations like wow He went really far in that boat. I'm kind of rocking with that idea. Which one do you think's best man worst? Yeah, that last one's gonna be my number one It means I'm good at my job, but I'd like to see you on maybe various stimulants, you know Like maybe I ran high. I ran... This is a way better idea. Take out the other modes of transportation. How far can I get in an hour? It's just my feet

and I'm just doing different drugs. And I'm like the flash. How many miles can I run smoking cigarettes the entire time? Cigarettes instead of water. You get like the dune shield on you and you're just flying through the street. But instead Yeah, cigarettes instead of water. Yes, this ends you get like the dune shield on you

I did a marathon without training, but I have sins and also Healy's I think I could do a marathon with no training if I could be on PCP Yeah, I believe that the human body can it doesn't last five I turn to the PCP ninja hasn't smoked PCP Sober bro don't drink it's the puppet man You will the shadow man money to yeah, dude. Oh my god every time Please uncross your trident, I want to leave. Yeah I spoke to his blood. We'll talk back. Yeah, we're kin.

Let me just say we're kin. We're blood brothers. What's number two and three? Number two, again, what you're missing here is there needs to be an element of either danger, celebrity collab, or self-inflicted pain. What if the dogs are all in heat?

That could be dogs in diapers? Dogs in diapers. Dogs in heat, and you're trying not to... Jesus Christ. Trying not to come to us. It's nine dogs in heat. Okay, Mr. Beast, Mr. Beast, in a gross joke. It's a white woman in a pet co.

You lock the door, and she can't fuck any of the dogs. Or she listens. She gets $10,000 for every dog she doesn't fuck. You have no fucking respect for animals. Excuse me? I don't think he has respect for women. His name is Mr. Beast.

Oh, you're talking about Mr. Beast. That's what I was saying. Bro's a beast. Yeah. Bro's curious. And that's okay. Bro's from Human Claw. He's from Human Claw.

So, okay, this nine dog, this is why Ludwig set this up. Can we? Because he thinks he knows... Content, for some reason. How to do this. How to do this. Any better than us. So what was your tier list?

That was my ranking. I think the dog, again, there needs to be an element of danger or You endangering your own life third or second without that dogs is second though It's probably like a lack of understanding Nick has literally called this a 1 million dollar idea this pre-parking in LA. It's gonna cost you a million What's the sort of return there? ROI, walk me through the ROI. Well, you see, it's like the viewers. We get them with the viewership. Okay, what viewers?

The ones, um, who are like, you know, basically like, wow, like that must have cost him a lot of money. It's kinda cool holding a mirror up to him and making him just speak the words back I pay for your parking Watch every video I make till I die Am I high right now?

Walk me through the act one, act two, act three structure Okay, I'll do it like that Alright, act one Our hero, which would be David Dobrik So our hero, David Dobrik His first vlog back Has a need Four minutes and twenty seconds of him I guess it's kind of so our hero David over his first vlog back

Parking free in LA because it's so expensive so he wants to... Luke Skywalker. He finds... He needs one right now. He finds out that it's really expensive to do. So he enlists the help of his friends to cover different areas of the city. His friends might have a name. And they go to do it. Colin and Amir. Colin and Amir show up.

Colin and Amir. Jake's there. It's all good. What's the meeting of the goddess? I mean, it's... It's Corinna Copp, and she shows up for five seconds, and he's like, that's the thumbnail, and then she disappears.

Oh, too real. Burns. Okay, so this sounds good. So we'll just do it, and then we'll see. Actually, I already did it. We're late Kristen I have a question for you as our content consultant because you started out like all on tick-tock and which is Short form and very different. I feel like what broke you out is like very different than what you're making on YouTube now How did you make the transition to doing the YouTube stuff well the red pill stuff really helped you know like

podcast conspiracy and all that um you and just pearly things were really climbing the ladder um yeah i think it kind of just happened naturally because i was just doing i was just kind of setting up the camera and filming and then after a while the camera kind of just happened naturally because I was just doing I was just kind of setting up the camera and filming. And then after a while, the camera kind of turned this way. And then I was just filming like iPhone vlogs on my camera. And then I was uploading them. No editing. And that was the first one I ever uploaded in 2019.

And then after that, I like taught myself iMovie as a grown 23 year old. And then it's not as cool when you do it. It's not without a child's touch Look at this imagination bossing me if you drag on the thunder effect. You're not like that's cool. Yeah Saying dopamine from using the cut tool at 14. Oh, it's so it's it's a rush that I have yet to experience Yeah, how did you end up fucking with Oh G? from using the cut tool at 14. Oh, it's a rush that I have yet to experience as an adult. How did you end up fucking with OG? I think Ludwig is hilarious.

And I truly like, our Royal Court episode is one of my favorites still. I thought it was so funny. It's so fucking funny. Like, truly. And I, because I wanted, it's still in its sort of infancy of we're trying to get it up and running. And I was like, I want some internet people that I really respect to sort of come on and just're trying to get it up and running and I was like I want some Internet people that I really respect to sort of come on and like just Pretty boy we needed a pretty boy. He's your Karina cough. It's hard

Click baiting this on p, I would highly recommend it. It really is lucrative. We tried. We timed the thumbnail for this video. How'd you find out about Dubbin? About what? How'd you find out about Dubbin? I called Dubbin. How'd you find out about Dubbin? Oh, Dubbin.

Oh, that's right. Um, my white man editor, big fan of Ludwig, and I was like, who the fuck is this white guy? Dude, this is a trend I'm learning, is like, your favorite YouTuber's favorite employee's favorite YouTuber is off in Ludwig If you got a white guy who's like They got It's funny because you're you're so anti worker and union and like right

Yeah, it's funny that they have sort of magnetized to your like evil kingdom I'm making a damn co-op You're not making co-op, you don't work co-op You haven't made co-op You don't put grain in a fucking silo for everyone to get You don't have to come from rap If you had a rap moniker in high school, uh, da union buster I don't think we forgot My five bars, five seconds was crazy

Da union buster rhymes five bars, five seconds. It was crazy. Do Union Buster Rhymes? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you've discovered Ludwig through your editor who said, yo, you got to check this guy's swag out. By the way,

this worked in business meetings recently. What? There was like someone in a business meeting who was like, by the way, I watch you. And I was like,

this is huge for me. Like a brand that you like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this helps a lot because I really wanted to work with you. Thank you. Thank you like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this helps a lot because I really wanted to work with you. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Yeah. You know what it is? It's like a specific brand of neurodivergent white guy too. It's like CEO of Charter Spectrum.

You're like plain Wendover vids but for like guys who edit videos. Uh-huh. Because they're not like, they're not so far gone that they're like wanting to look up World War II documentaries. No, no, no. They hit the right in the sweet spot.

When they're 30, they'll like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they still have some childlike enthusiasm. Yeah. They're watching Defunctland. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Defunctland's the hot shit.

Can I ask you a personal question? Anything. What's the thing you made that you're most proud of? Oh, most proud. Honestly, this is so like, but when I hit a million on YouTube, I was like, I think this is what Jesus Christ must have felt like when he came back. How long did it take? I mean, for me, it took about, I was like three days.

I think I was in the tomb. For me, two. If I would have been there, things would have gone differently. I was in the tomb. A little over like a year and a half. Oh my God. So fast. And then I hit 2 million in under a year after that.

Holy shit. It was like, let's fucking go. That's fast as fuck. That's fast as fuck. That's your damn blood weight. That's your damn short. My first video came out in 2015. I was like, let's fucking go. That's fast as fuck. That's fast as fuck. That's for damn sure. My first video came out in 2015. I think I hit a million in 2020.

That's wild. But then after that, what are you at right now? 5.7. So that was quick, that turnaround. A lot of ghost accounts though. A lot of shorts. A lot of bots. We were told him for his 29th birthday, we bought him

a bunch of subscribers. I'm 28. I think half of his subscribers are pussy and bio. I'm more offended that you called me 29 than bought it. I'd rather be known for having a bodied account than that. It's kind of the 5'11 of your age. That's true. That implies that 30 is 6 foot, which no one thinks is cool.

30 is 5'10. 30 as a guy is like, that six foot you think so okay, what about 33? Yes, and it goes downhill after he goes downhill after 33 not a lot to look for you You should try to do something like crazy doing it that you use your Jesus here Well, I had my birthday's at the end of this month oh yeah there you gotta do some shit bro you gotta go to for so far what you've come on so far you've learned Tekken and yes and you've lost I think your entire bank account to the casino sorry this is funny is that true? Yeah... Now my entire bank account.

Wait, wait, wait! He wouldn't tell us. He wouldn't tell us, but he'll tell you. Ask him how much money he lost. How much? Can I ask you a personal question? Sure, yes. By all means.

You have a gambling problem, yes or no? Uh, no. The favorite thing I've probably made is probably, um, it's the... The Smash Summit sketch where it's like a poor, very... One time I took a dump, it looked like the Batman logo. Yeah! Don't you get a chance to look like Jesus? Yeah, I love fucking gambling! Yeah, shit! Hey!

Oh, take me in. Please, take me in! Take me away! Do it! If being... if loving blackjack is a crime... It's gonna give me 30 years. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is.

Can be. Can be. Was it like the Vegas thing or like online gambling? No, no Sometimes it is. Candy. Candy. Was it like a Vegas thing or like online gambling? No, no, it was in Vegas. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not crazy.

That makes a little bit of a point. Clean, above board. Right. I'm not hitting the fucking crack pipe at my PC. If you're in like a mom's basement of sorts. Yeah. Hitting that casino digitally. It goes quick online.

It could be. Absolutely. Yeah, you could be at home on like an Australian VPN, just making shirts all above board. No, you use the Iceland VPN because the seed Is better you're in so deep. You're in so deep I'll explain what seed it means and it's like the algorithmic seed It's not like didn't help me not like the cool version not like cool ass fucking sperm You log on to Norway you get the Norway seed and then you're due

and then it come. You get it? Yeah, that was clear. Dude. Yeah. Just to paint his gambling addiction. Oh my gosh, stop saying addiction.

I know the sea and I didn't know what you're talking about at all. When we lived together, because we used to all live together back in the day, I had this sponsor for online poker.

And this online poker site had a blackjack portal. And after I won the poker, I'd be like, I'll take a gander for funsies. And one day, I think I'm offline. I had like a few K in the account and I just punt it all. I just lose it all. And I'm so sad. And how long? 10 minutes or less?

Maybe 30 minutes Maybe just clicking and just in and it disappears and it's like oh, this is it just goes away It's a you click a button goes away and then watch it doesn't have that much money at this point either This is like it's 2020. I don't even have it. I don't know you have a million subscriber on YouTube Yeah, I feel like you've been doing this for like 30 years because I have Like energy like have old ass like energy like a fucking old ass guy like i mean more from a reverent standpoint in the lifespan of a creator i feel like i've been doing it for six years like you know the new the new blood you see sketch what's up brothers thank

you brother thank you that guy popped off in four months you don't you haven't seen him that's crazy oh my god i can give you the sketch lore, bitch. I'm plugged into white man culture. Give us sketch lore, please. Tell me. So they're calling it mayonnaise? I'm falling behind and I'm not representing our people well. No, I will for you. Don't worry. Sketch literally, it was a matter of like maybe two months, truly.

And he just is posting with the NFL, like all of the NFL. Sports center. He is. And they literally are quoting him as the sports center's like opening. Yeah. Welcome back, brother. Crazy. Wow.

He's from the Woodlands, Texas, which is 10 minutes from my hometown. No shit. And we started DMing because I was like, I love you, Sketch. And he was like, what the fuck? Not his target audience. Yeah. And I was like, that even shows to me like how much it's sort of seeping into internet culture in general.

Thank you, brother. Is he doing sports content? Like, is he? Yeah, you're like, I'll give you the lore. to me like how much it's sort of seeping into internet culture in general thank you brother is he doing sports content like is he is he you're like i'll give you the lore he's nothing about this helps he's from texas he's from texas he plays madden his main squeeze is madden with nfl players like he'll get on stream and play with them I we famously on this podcast which is famous we we talked about when Jinxy popped off and I said I don't get it I've watched a couple I don't understand I start the text monitor the information's inside of it is what I'm saying and uh and then I heard about Sketch and I I found I saw one clip and I do get it okay I do because there was a clip where he like did something in Madden I think he got a touchdown I don't know how football works

and then he gets on all fours and he crawls around the room and then he lifts up his dog to pee on a Okay. I do. Because there was a clip where he like did something in Madden. I think he got a touchdown. I don't know how football works. And then he gets on all fours and he crawls around the room and then he lifts up his dog to pee on a chair. Like his leg, like a dog. Yeah. And then he gets back in the chair. He like, I was like, I get it. Does he actually pee? No, but he like, that was just celebration.

Just zero commitment. Just curious. That was his touchdown celebration. As a man who commits. When did you find him? How hip were you? Maybe like a month ago. Okay.

I mean, to be honest, that is pretty hip because I think he went from like 2K four months ago to like boom and now SportsCenter highlights. Yeah. It's like at the dinner table with your parents and they're like, it's never good enough. And like, why can't you be like? Because I don't create the culture, right? So you don't like creating enough and like why can't you be like because i don't create the culture right so you don't like creating like why can't you be like him because what i do is i go on my stream and i play the new york times connections right yeah instead of having like ice spice on yeah and then i just love it doing the daily crossword with iSpice?

That's what I would do. I'd be like, okay, we're playing Strandle today. See if you can find a famous crossword. I think I would pay $20,000 to watch an iSpice Northern Lion stream. Oh, that'd be so fun. I'd do the daily wordle. With the Northern Lion. That'd be the last. Teaching her Bellatro.

Teaching Northern Lion to twerk. Insane Bobby Big Pulse quotes I think I'm just getting too old and Sketch and Jinxy they're so young and hip how old are you

if you don't mind me asking that's invasive I am freshly 19 I'm 26 I turn 27 in a month actually

27 that's the year Jesus died that feels really good except you're tied with Aiden you're still 26 you're like a Aiden. I don't know if that's true.

You're 26. Yeah, you're like a month younger than I am. Are you a 97, baby? Yeah. That is so real. Do you consider yourself a Zoomer or a millennial? Because you're on the cusp. Cusp.

Yeah. I'm a cusper. Where do you lean? Where do I lean? Gen Z. Gen Z? Yeah, I guess you have to, right? Because for your job, I think it's important to.

Because I think he leans millennial. He loves Harry Potter. All of it. For all the wrong reasons. He didn't get into it until she came out as a TERF. I'm noticing a sort of airing out going on over here. Do y'all have anything to air out about brother over here? About brother or about brother?

About brother. About brother? The fuck did I do? You said fucks you. I'm not airing everybody out. Brother over here my brother or my brother about brother brother Take off the damn hats my beef what the fuck why? My head a lot all right you ready for this is it gonna blind me Yeah Did you know when he had a hat on that he's bald of course I'm kind of been getting like Mac Miller vibes from you a little bit.

So not really. Because he wasn't really bald bald. Yeah. No, no. He had like a. Mac Miller vibes? I've never gotten that in my life. Yeah, I'm on my Donald Trump shit.

It'll weigh all Republicans that I'm Mac Miller vibes. That's actually really true. You're yams and you're gams. I look at them every damn day. You wear your little taco pants, and it looks like white meat chicken. I want to bite. I want to bite your white meat chicken. Can you tell me how you make it look like white meat chicken?

What do you put in your body? It looks right when I cut it up. I only eat white meat chicken from factor meals. Oh, that's right. I asked for their white meat only box, and they give me a bunch of white meat chicken from Factor Meals. Oh, that's right. I asked for their white meat only box. And they give me a bunch of white meat, chicken, white meat, turkey, white meat. You're telling me this is farm fresh, ready to eat? It's farm fresh.

That's right, sir. I guess you like that. That fits right into your whole ensemble. What I like to do is save money, save time and save myself the trouble. And so that's why I eat Factor's white meat. They can send it right to your door now? They can send the white meat right to your door. That's right.

Tifa from the Final Fantasy VII flashback right to your door. Protein plus meals. You got 35 plus meal choices. Weekly add-ons. I've had those. I had little turmeric shots. They got little juices. They also put asparagus in there and also vegetables.

If you don't want to be Ludwig-pilled and become white meat. I like to take the turmeric shot. I like to put it over a little bit of ice. It's nice. I like to add on some white meat. It feels like so many options. I can only grow about two crops on my property. Yeah, it will take you out of business. So go on and head on

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America's number one ready to eat meal kid. I'm a full ass millennial. I can't lie. You freaking epic bacon doggo moment. Bro, are you a doggo still? You're two years older than me. I'm 28 turning 29. Oh, there's bacon there.

I guess I'll go. He's not a zoomer. So like two years. I feel like I'm a whole ass millennial. Like he's not a zoomer, right? No. Because it must be millennial. And you know what else matters?

I have an older sister as opposed to like if I'm the oldest of like four siblings. So I, but I wish I was a damn zoomer. Cause they're saying I'd be better at my job i'd be better at my damn job no i will say this everyone ages out even it's happening with gen z of like there are certain quirks and mannerisms that the whole generation on tiktok has adopted that will not age well like when they say sewer slide that shit yeah like i'm alive and all that but it's also like the way they film stuff and like you know and i'm guilty of some of it and i watch these like critique pieces of like the way

we make fun of millennials now gen z has it coming because it's so like it's identifiable also like all of covid was so cringe on tiktok so cringe i can't even begin to like give a thesis on what's the most cringe shit you remember just all the dancing probably or like the lip syncing to the what's that fucking show the hellfire club one are people done with that stranger things that show my god that whole era of people being like i'm an actor what yeah it was awful it was like it's not gonna age well and it already isn't so i think that's i wouldn't feel too bad about being born. Do you feel because you understand that and because you're

so plugged in, you'll be able to change and adapt to whatever new trends fit a newer, younger audience? I mean, if there is a god and he is just and fair. Hopefully. It's your divine right to sway Gen Alpha.

Stuffing all our ideas for you away in my pocket That would be fucking lame As a 33 year old They feel to me Kind of impervious Because I'm so far up And I'm like what? It's a lot of syllables

As a 33 year old how do they get them in the rectangle? As a 33 year old why is it damn Why I gotta to swap up? But like, it's weird because I'm like, yeah, they're just the tastemakers. And I'm kind of like further and further outside of the fence. And but you're like, it's so interesting to hear you say they have it coming because that's what we all want. We want the kids to fucking.

Well, and if it gets slapped. And there's this, of course, with cringe. Everyone wants to beat on kids. We don't want to slap the children. Yes, of course. We don Everyone wants to beat on kids. We don't want to slap the children. Yes, of course. We don't want to slap a kid. We don't want to do that. It's a metaphor.

We want to use the giant hand they use in Jackass on the children. Yes. The big boxing glove that comes out of the hotel door. Yes, comedically large. Yeah. No, I do think that it's a matter of like, how do you, first of all, adapt in a way that like Jenna Marbles didbles did you know like she was just making her own shit that she thought was funny and it lasted then on the flip side of

that it's how do you still keep people's attention and that's where it kind of gets cringe is like you have to give into the trends at a certain point but not too much i think that there's there's shows and things online that have outlived you know being put into one of those slots like hot ones things like that where if it's a good idea everyone's gonna want to do it and everyone's gonna watch so i don't know i i think that it's yeah the discourse is very interesting to me because gen z thinks that their shit doesn't stink and it's like we're already seeing gen alpha is like what the fuck you guys are cringe yeah that's That's cool. So I gotta skip. I'm gonna skip Gen Z go straight to Gen Alpha. High key.

You gotta plug into the iPad babies. Hey, what's up Trevor? Yo, high key. Yeah. Bruh. Bruh. I'm gonna kill myself in real life to change your life forever because of that. The worst thing I've ever used my life against. That's uncomfortable. TikTok? You're still going. That's uncomfortable. TikTok. You're still going.

That's all I got. I did look up a sentence the other day and I felt bad. It was, they used the word gather in a way I've never seen it. It was like, they use it like giving. What? Like instead of like, it's giving X, it was like, it's gathering X. And I was, and it fucked me up for a while. I'm imagining you just making that up right now.

You're like, I saw this thing the other day. Trying to like softball shit. Dude, I saw this thing. It was ultra trendy. It was called like Epic Ludwig Moment. Have you guys heard about this? I don't know why everyone's saying it. I was like, it was like when Zoey 101 predicted drip.

You guys remember that? Wait, what? Zoey 101, it was an episode where like one of them's trying to start like a new catchphrase everyone knows and he's like, yo that's dripping. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? What the fuck is that? And then, fast forward to now. Wow.

They had no idea. They had no idea. They were also like kissing minors on that show. They were way ahead of the curve. Take me back. Take me fucking back. That was lit. TBT.

Right guys? No. Yo millennials, you ever feel this way? You ever fucking millennials, you ever fucking wanna like. So much better when you just see your streaming down your face. God damn it. You're fucking millennials. You ever fucking want to like just see your streaming down your face?

Guys, leave a like and a comment. Fuck man. Did you guys really like use and abuse the like woman crush Wednesday, man crush Monday, that sort of thing? Did y'all do that? Yes! Remember that? I'm just realizing I did. Flashback Friday. Okay, I pride myself on that. I swear I'm not bragging.

That was ironic the moment I used it. Period. Like, that was like, you know, the slur. No, I was flashback Friday for sure because I got more likes on them. When Women Crush Wednesday came out, we were already saying it like it was lame. You were saying it ironically? Yeah. You're like, I'm doing it as a bit.

I was like, fucking Man Crush Monday, and I don't know, it'd be someone who wasn't very hot or something. A Ninja Turtle? Yeah. It's Donatello. And everyone knows no one had a crush on Donatello. I was like fucking Man Crush Monday and I don't know it'd be someone who wasn't very hot or something a Ninja Turtle yeah it's Donatello and everyone knows no one had a crush on Donatello because he was the nerd

you know what pisses me off about was how they use POV Gen Z on TikTok it's not the POV it's not POV

it's not it's not that I don't know it's not it was the one doing it right in my voice of reason

in here we can't just be defaulting sorry thank you? We can't just be... Sorry. Thank you. High key, we cannot just be evolving about Gen Z gathered around a circle. I think that's a bad idea. Agreed. Because I think that they're

funny when they're funny. And I think that's a good thing. I love Devious Licks. Devious Licks was so good. That was so bad. No, what the fuck are you was lit! That was awesome! They were stealing shit! That rocks! It was larceny. Grand larceny at times

Oh, hey You're a little cop-coded GTA grand larceny Yeah, Ludwig did have the Punisher skull on his phone for a long time Yeah Yo, Ludwig had the Blue Lives Matter flag on his head It was just a thin stripe. One thin stripe.

I like the color blue. I did not realize what it was. I thought, what a nice case. It was an ASU sun devil pissing on the vaccine like Calvin?

It was on his car. Many of us think we're proven right now. He was pissing on Fousey, but he looks like Baphomet, and he's got

horns and boobs. What do y'all miss the most about ASU? Oh, what a good question. We all did go there. Yeah. We miss Breslin. I do. That's number one.

Breslin Matthews died in 9-11. I actually unironically miss doing real comedy. Come on. We're like traditional comedy. Real comedy. Traditional. Do you think we're not funny? Traditional comedy. Come on. We're like traditional comedy. Real comedy. Traditional. Do you think we're not funny? Traditional comedy.

Traditional. I've changed it. Okay. So you're talking about improv. You miss improv. Mainly improv. Being an improv guy. Yeah.

Weird improv guy. Wearing Converse with Spongebob on him. And. Right? Right. You miss doing stand-up. All right. you miss doing stand up alright you miss comedy so much

do a hot 30 you want to do a 30 minute second he's got a tight 30 listening to his 30

tight little tight little 30 tight little 30 oh my god don't touch 30 your 30's hot my 30's not hot your puckered 30

let's do some improv nah it's you know what I don't miss it anymore letered 30. Let's do some improv. Nah, it's... You know what? I don't miss it anymore. Let's do it. Let's do some improv. I don't miss it anymore. You miss it so bad?

I'm a big buxom nurse. Okay. All right. And you're... Okay. Where are we? Are we at the hospital or are we somewhere else?

I'm a big buxom nurse and we're at the grocery store. Okay, so a nurse out of water. Yeah. Because nurses are only in hospitals. And I'm buying... I'm buying a big... A big out of water. Yeah. Because nurses are only in hospitals. And I'm buying a big thing of Pepsi. Her big naturals are present. And I'm buying Pepsi.

Who's Brittany? Who am I? And you guys, you are husband and wife. Right. Oh. And you're the nurse. You've been together for four years. Can I be the...

But it's shaky. Can I be like the grocer? Because he doesn't communicate. Sure. Because he likes men. He's not... I'm secretly gay? Maybe.

Yeah, you're secretly gay, and you don't communicate. Okay. You... I'm the grocer. I own the bags. You're the... Oh, we're at the grocery store. Like the checkout.

And you are, once again, a sailor. They're sons. They're sons. Oh, yeah, you're their son. Who's a sailor? You're their... Who just came back from the war. Adult son.

Wow. Who got back from the war. But they've only been married for four years. In war. It's 1917. Four years is a long time in wartime. It was the whole war. In a war you took a hit so hard to the head you still think you're a child. Oh. Okay, and-

And, okay. Wait, uh, you have to bring us in. Oh, wow, there's a damn big ol' two liter of Pepsi. On the floor. On the floor, let me pick big old put two liter of Pepsi on the floor on the floor Let me pick this on up. You're together sodas Clear as where we are the grocery store Box them out of the house. I just got off my shit. Okay partners in hospital Let me get a wife Your son and I'm checking it for the sweet this week, and I'm checking you out when we get to the okay

Yeah, guys one back in scene one pepsi, please. Do you have the sodas? Uh no, I need to go to the other. I'll have you seen our sweet period Queen. Uh what what just a sweet? I hate our fucking child I wish we had aborted you and we had the chance! You would have been nothing but a disappointment! Oh, I had such a long day in the hospital. Oh, have you noticed this giant buxom nurse who won't stop moaning? You would notice the big bodacious woman because you want to wear her skin. I've always known this about you!

You know you can tell me. And I got scrubs. I'm sorry, ma'am? Ma'am, can you shut the fuck up by your giant bucks and breasts? Are you guys gonna check out? I'll try to... Hey, what's up? What's up, bag boy? I would, I would, uh, suck you dry and see if you could squat.

I'm not gonna do any lines. I'm not gonna do any lines. Is that what you missed? I missed that. That never would have propelled us forward in sort of like a spot of respect in the improv troupe. No, in Second City, that crushes. Trust me, man.

They're behind in Chicago. How did you think to moan? That's so next level. Can't be taught. The busty nurse. Did you know that person? Not like an original character? Back pocket character.

Did you, did you go into any more traditional like entertainment stuff like that in college? In college, I auditioned for our improv troupe called Freudian Slip. Oh my God. I feel like I'm in a tanning bed this is yes and bacon strips and bacon strips and

epic chungus moment oh fuck um it truly was like we auditioned I did not realize there were four rounds of auditions

I did the first one saw my name on the list I said knew it easy uh did not make it because I didn't come to the subsequent auditions

rounds do what what is it fucking google no i literally i was like why are we doing final rounds of interviews that exact same thing happened to me in high school with soccer oh you thought you made it i thought there were multiple tryouts and i didn't go to the other ones that i just i got sent to p e p e is like soccer for. It's like soccer for the kids who, I don't know, chew on their pens. You said warsh earlier. My P.E. teacher said warsh all the time unironically. I don't know. What's warsh?

He was weird. When you wash something. Some people say wash. Hey, go and get inside the locker room. Wash your clothes. And he would say it like that. And I was like, what are we putting on airs for, man? I have a pee-related question.

Back in my day, we used to tape down Axe body spray and throw it into the bathroom and then touch each other inappropriately. It's a rite of passage. I got some laughs in the other room. I came a few years later. I was only throwing the Axe body spray, so I'm connecting with you on half this. What is the girls' locker room equivalent? Is there? Victoria'se body spray, but I'm connecting with you on half this. What is the girls' locker room equivalent? Is there?

Victoria's Secret body spray. And creepy coaches. No. Really? Male coaches? No. That is so much darker, because us, we're just playing a little slap ass. You're slapping ass.

Hide the elephant trunk in the butt i don't know what who's in my mouth do you think he's literally just dame cook reskinned because we've had this conversation a lot i love dame cook dame cook in a fortnite nikki minaj skin no i don't think you don't think so I think he has a lot of Dane Cook DNA that if as if I was that from Dane Cook trade-up what you said who's in my mouse Dane Cook I just wanna that's why I'm bringing this up because why don't you bounce it bounce a cashew off the tip of your hog and into your mouth did

he do that that's a business and a guy who's a miss Dane Cook bit I remember is the Kool-Aid man. Yeah Yeah Oh yeah! I had never heard something funnier as a 10 year old It's funny dude, it was funny I heard that through my fucking- when it literally broke my earbuds Yup Cause it was mixed so poorly Dude I'm sorry that hurt I forgot

I forgot More zipper That hurt zipper's ears At least he's listening, I like that He doesn't have minecraft up He's still recoiling Thriving in pain Sorry zipper He was really funny until he wasn't have my he's still recoiling anything in pain

He's really funny till he wasn't and then he was like 60 with a bunch of plastic surgery dating a 20 year old He went beast mode I would say Leo's done done infamously done that he caught a lot of shit. He's a goat at it. He's done worse Worse a timeless talent. Well, it's worse first of his name married at least God forbid I date the minor out of wedlock. Look, Dan Kirk will still be married when she's 26. No, he'll be dead when she's 26. He's pushing 80.

That's like Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid looks like this ancient shell of a man. Leather. And he's dating just someone who looks like they're 19. Dennis Quaid, living human jerky. Yeah. Yes. He's very just just someone who looks like they're 19 Dennis Quaid living human jerky. Yeah. Yes He's very leathery. We could eat Dennis Quaid Dennis Quaid can you say Dennis Quaid now zipper? Do you guys know Dan cook and Joe Biden in the same age? A lot of people don't know that

They both play warzone together. And he ran for office. Both ran for office. Christ. Dinka got one. Wow. Dude, she looks... He looks like he's held together by papier-mâché. He looks like you left a picture of him in the sun. Bro, also how does a 7-Eleven hot dog... How old is he? Dennis Quaid's age.

He's been on the weenie roller for... He's 70. That's a 70-year-old man. If you ate all the oxygen packets out of the beef jerky it shrivels you up like that yo youtube he's on youtube that's dope is there like a what are we supposed to do here's my question when we become 70 do we just like he's not throwing in the towel ah right yeah take me out back you think that it? We should just put a hard cap, Jesus age, you're done?

I mean, I think intentionally older people stop outing themselves, or not outing themselves, but like going out. They stop getting filmed. Why? Because they look old, and they don't want people

to see them old and weak. You think old people have shame about the way they look? Yes, 100%. Have you met an old person? They totally do. They don't have shame about the way they look or smell. I think you're wrong

Yeah, they fucking around in a good t-shirt public figure. You're talking old old I'm talking public figure rich public figure old people. I think I have shame. I think old people Yeah, like my grandpa takes fucking shirt off Fuck some nurse tits out. He says like fucking come here Come here, dude, and then he'll like he he'll slowly pull out 20 euros from his wallet. Be like, this is for you. Don't tell your cousins. Yeah.

He's Spanish. That would make sense. Actually, that doesn't make sense. Why do you have a Spanish grandpa? Is this more I don't know? Spain, Spanish. My white Spanish. Grandfather was born in, what's that place called?

Gibraltar. There's only Spain, Spanish. Huh? There's only. No, the other one's a language. That is culturally inaccurate. But if you're saying he's not saying he's a language. He might be. He's a fucking idiot.

Fair. Continue. Now that we've diagnosed you. Yeah, he was born in Gibraltar is all I was going to say. I don't watch anime. Sometimes it gives me euros. That's it. I don't watch anime. Sometimes it gives me euros. That's it.

I don't watch anime. I have a question for you. I want you to go around based on what you've learned today from us. What is your favorite thing about each of us and your least favorite thing about each of us? Start with Nick. Okay.

Unfortunately, I have to look at what he's doing right now yeah oh god I wish you saw him before he shaved oh I had a mustache for the first time in my life you should ask him to do what he's doing with his glasses on no no no hold on y'all did this in the last episode and I didn't watch the video right okay I'm worried it would be jarring if I see it without it is jarring jarring! No, imagine just like, I don't know, dopest dude you've ever fucking met. Imagine the most handsome, charming, imagine someone halfway through a kickflip. Right when you meet them. But his eyes look like they were drawn on with one dot of a pencil. And they're sparkling. Blind? You're like blind blind. Is that why your eyes like, have you, okay, this is a Star Wars reference. You guys watch Mandalorian?

Oh, no. No. I'm sorry. I love Star Wars though. You guys watch Mandalorian? Oh, no. No, no. I'm sorry. I love Star Wars, though. Wrong autism. We play Super Smash Bros. What's my brother's name? Jamie? Zipper.

Zipper. Zipper, could you look... Zipper, he pulled it in. Could you look up the orange alien from the Mandalorian, no glasses? Oh, I'm gonna love this. And then can you add rule 34? And then look it add Rule 34? Let's just have fun today. On deviantart.gov. While he pulls it up, what are your favorite and least favorite things about Nick?

I think you look like Will Darbyshire a little bit. Who's that? I need that pulled up after. I haven't gotten this one. Say it again. Will Darbyshire? Will Darbyshire. He's British.

I haven't gotten this one. You like British folk. Bad. What's up with them? What's up with that? What's up with that? What's up with that? What's up with that? Come on. Okay, I've gotten this one you like British folk bad What's up with that I won't do that to you Go back to episode just stayed up until 4am playing Warzone. Dude.

You go to bed. Bye. That's so sick. Now look at Will Darbyshire to feel better about yourself. Will Darbyshire's hot. Do you happen to need a mural of my brain? An underwall? Because I'd love to give it to you. That's really romantic. Thank you. Uh, okay. What's your least favorite?

No, that was it! That's my least favorite. That has to be your least favorite. Yeah, that's enough, that's enough. Fine. I don't have a least favorite. That's a negative. Well, okay, to be fair, you can't say you don't have a least favorite and then say you look like that guy. Yeah. Wait, look up Will fuckin' uh-

Will Derbyshire. Will Horse Racer. Is that Gloop Shitto? Do what? That guy from the Mandalorian? That was a woman. Okay, got it. Which might actually be the favorite. She's also in the new movies. Is that Gloop Shitto? Do what? That guy from the Mandalorian? That was a woman. Okay, got it.

Which might add something to this. She's also in the new movies. There's an actual character called Gloop Shitto? Yeah. It's used as a shorthand for like the stupid Star Wars stuff. That's what I write on like tests in high school. Yeah, there's like Gloop Shittos here. That was Kyle Addy Moondy's apprentice.

That's the fly guy, right? I don't know. I just know the name because it sounds really funny It's Kit Fisto Will Darbyshire zipper. Okay, you think so? Wait, he's cute, right? British invasion Will Invasion it's me. It's me will make another video. I'll even live it. You really do look like an Australian I can't get anything they have an unfair unfair leg up on on tick-tock and all that I feel like there's a disproportionate amount of British people and on Australians because people just cuz the access is the accent, you know

No, not that many Brits. Sorry. This is a die in the life of someone in Melbourne die in the life of someone in Melbourne. That was good. That was really good. I live within Australia. He sacrificed his ability to do other accents to get better at this one. To power up on that one. You're impressed by that. You stim in Australian.

Check this out. Ready? Jason Derulo. Did you have a least favorite for him now? Did you think that was going to make it better? It's getting worse. Imagine the Mandalorian alien doing that and I'm like, fuck's sake. 1738. Alright, what's your favorite thing and least favorite thing about Ludwig?

Favorite thing about Luddy is... Can I have like an ABC option? Oh, like I give you three things? Yeah. Sure, I have a chest hole. It's a birth defect where there's a hole in my chest. Might that be anyone's favorite thing about you? It's a handicap. Wait, maybe that makes me- He can't choose for you.

Well, no, I'm just gonna throw out options. I'm gonna throw out options. I, uh, I really am, um, I have foreskin. I'm just thinking about my body. What is this? What are you doing? I have a Roman toe. Okay, I did not ask for your physical abnormalities.

That's actually not gonna be- And they are. And they are. I'm just thinking about my body. What is this? I have a Roman toe. Okay, I did not ask for your physical abnormalities That's actually not gonna be it. And they are. And pick one. And they are abnormalities. How about, we'll do lookalikes. You look a little bit, and don't let this go to your head. Uh-huh. You look a little bit like Chris Evans Captain America. Oh my god. I disagree. After he got zapped. Oh, you look a little bit like the hottest man alive. I agree. I think this is true. There's similar facial structure.

Now, physical abnormalities, it's going to take it away. Okay? We're going to bring you back down to earth. If Chris Evans had a chest hole, you think he would have made it? He would not have been cast. A chole? He would not have been cast. Lean like a chole? A chole?

If he had a chole, he would not get in that role. The most famous actor who's hot, who has one, is, who's the guy in Arrival? Oscar Isaacson. Oscar Isaacson. He's got a hole. It's just Isaac. I think now also,

Tony Stark has a chest hole. Yes. True. Because they fucking made a damn hole. Alright, what's your, well you have to answer.

No, she's just doing lookalikes, that's easier. Yeah, we're doing lookalikes. You remind me of Any British boy who hasn't eaten in a year kind? One of those soldiers who went off to war and came back just changed forever Your vibe is the guy who's the guy who's in the office and in Silicon Valley And I'm your son. I just need a safe place. My boy.

Your vibe is the guy who's in the office and in Silicon Valley. Oh my god. That's your vibe. I was going to say like a gay John Mulaney. What? God, and I'm addicted to drugs and I cheated on my wife. That's really sweet.

No, because you're gay. You cheated on your husband. Oh, I cheated on my husband. What? No, he's not. She said a gay John Mulaney. Oh, gay John Mulaney. Okay, yeah. And I was at the Lakers game, and I had more fans than you there. Yeah, this happened.

This did happen. All of a sudden, John Mulaney and Aaron Ball, and there's this huge crowd around them. They're all trying to get picks, and one person turns around in the crowd, sees Ludwig, and is like, it's Ludwig. And then they just turn back to Aaron Paul and John Morrow. Me and Cutie went to Universal, and usually when we go to Disney, which is the park we usually go to,

I buy a hat. And not because I like hats, but because people recognize me less without my hair. Did you do the VIP tour? At Universal? At both. No, I've done it, but we were just walking, we just wanted to go to Mario Land.

You raw-dogged it? Raw-dogged it. And I got recognized once, and I was like, but we were just walking. We just wanted to go to Mario Land. You raw-dogged it? Raw-dogged it. And I got recognized once, and I was like, see? Need my hat. And then Cutie's like, she's live. She's like, there's barely anyone recognizing you. Like, oh, look at the swarms of people here. No lines lining up for you, brother.

And so I buy the Bowser hat, which makes you look like Bowser. Is it like a spiky shell? I have a picture of it. I can show you on my phone. Zipper, I'll send it to you later. Or maybe Archie, I'll send it to you. So I wear the Bowser hat, which makes me look very charming. This is the Bowser hat.

Aw. That's very cute. And again, I've been recognized once before the hat. I put the hat on. Instantly, people start coming up to me. Oh my god. Because they're looking at the weird fucker in the hat and they're like, who's wearing that hat?

Oh, it's that white guy from. Yeah. And so I've, I, anyway, I realized. And you're swarmed by editors. I was. Dude, so I work on this project. Uh, yeah. Are you hiring?

I heard you're a co-op. What's that, what's that like for you? Especially living, living in LA. Are you getting recognized a lot i imagine a lot i don't want to say because this sounds negative it's not bad but it happens a lot especially at places like that like disney or universal where it's like i've found that and this sounds so like don't take it like this but like the vip experience really does help because you Actually don't take it like that for the universal one cuz it's actually pretty affordable, but the Disney ones insane ones crazy I do that for like I've done it twice and one was for my birthday and one was for my friend's birthday

Okay, so it's like and I'll bring like ten people like I get my fucking money's worth This is like if Olivia Rodrigo wants to go to Disneyland you call him up and you say I'm touching down soon You call Mickey The guy would literally be like yeah like I guided Britney Spears and their family like not too long Literally, they're like Christina Aguilera, and she's a bitch, and I'm like this is me and John Travolta No name drop. Do you think you could sleep Olivia Rodrigo? That's my question Yeah, bye. If I sleep her like knock her out Go to bed like one one two one answer this one. I think we're in different weight classes

I think that she would actually kill me She's throwing bone jutsu. Olivia does have bones. Scratch her. She has to. Scratch her. She's throwing bone, and I'm not catching it. She's throwing bone. Yeah. Got more mass on me. It would take me more to cut through gravity.

No. I think I would be a match for Bryce Hall. That'd be lit. Bryce Hall, maybe Taylor Holder. I'm actually mad at you. Why? Because you set up a burner account for my phone on my phone plant. Right.

And my phone bill was $190 a month for the past three years. And you just now noticed? I just now noticed. This is so funny. This is completely true. It is true. This is completely true. It's a hundred.

It's a hundred. It's so people can come to your fucking house. Yeah, but why didn't we set up the burner with Mint Mobile? It's actually a really good question. I know! We have our own code! We have our own code. It offers premium wireless for 15 bucks a month. Which is a lot less than 190. You did come into that, he was laying down on the couch,

he was on his phone. And he was like, my phone bill. Yeah, we were talking about phone bills, I think. And you were like, my phone bill is $190 a month. And I was like, Ludwig, why are you paying that amount? No more. Honestly, you're right. This would have saved a lot of money over time.

Yes. Like four figures. Yes. Wow. Thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars, which you could also save if you got Mint Mobile, because it gives you the best rate wherever you're buying. If you're getting family, families start at just two lines.

15 bucks a month? We could have done a family line. It's actually so funny. You get unlimited target text, you get high-speed data, you get the nation's largest 5G network, and it's only $15 a month. And you keep the numbers. There's no real point to sticking with this. It's crazy they're that different. You know what?

If you yourself at home are a content creator who is akin to a child who can never do anything for himself. And if your roommate comes in shirtless with no pants on and they give you a PowerPoint presentation on how they want to work with you.

Then. Say you've hired your PA. You want your PA to save you the most money on your phone bill because they're in charge of that because that's why you got a PA because you're a really busy guy. Tell the PA to Mint Mobile. The PA could go to mintmobile.com slash the yard and you could cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash the yard.

That's really cheap if you think about it. Right. I am really affordable. You know, I want you to know, guys, mint know guys my mold calm slash yard. I'm not sorry Let's get back to the episode with Brittany with Brittany broski. Mm-hmm I I do a yearly Disney trip with cutie the one place. I like getting recognized Like you I like it the most because I do a trip with cuties whole family Oh, it's the best time you recognize ever. It's Disney week. We go for a whole week. Oh, you do Disney World

No, no Disneyland They just do this. Yes. Yes Yes, like you just tasted like one of those damned Harry Potter jelly beans. It's like Switch game. Yeah Like your family very much there a Mormon family. This is a tradition. They love Disneyland big dog in hand Oh, I love a pickle dog. Little pickle dog in hand. That's an American push pop. It is. It'll make you scream the eagle screech. Every time I get recognized they start hollering. They'll be behind me like that's the fifth one!

You gotta give us a cheer for every one. You feel big? You feel like a big man? I only feel big cuz they go to Keeley like, That's the fifth one! And she's like, I know. I know it's the fifth one. I've been here the whole time. Yeah, my family likes to do, uh, You should start charging like it's Times Square!

Oh my god. It was right there! And they got up to go, Ding! I got one of those. On them. Spittoon. Yeah. Yeah, like, can't do that when they're standing right there, Mom. Please. I got one of those. Spittoon.

Yeah, I'm like, can't do that when they're standing right there, mom, please. Dude, oh, I had an idea, another idea I wrote down the other day while I was high. Mm-hmm. Tell me if it's genius or not. This is his thing now. He gets high and writes things down like you just figured out about weed. Letters you can smell. Well, no, hold up. Okay, it's dip.

Okay. But it's sugar. Like chewing tobacco dip? Yeah, this is uh, this- Are you talking about candy? Is it- I'm saying- Bigly chew. But you s- Oh, is that what that is? Yeah, this is- brother, this is gum.

This is- When I'm literally just thinking of something sugary, you don't swallow, and you spit it out so you don't consume the sugar, but you get to taste the sugar. Dolly Rancher. Sure, okay.

And like whatever it is they wouldn't let you buy it in Singapore. Like whatever. Yeah, you get killed. From the Red 40 content alone. Shout out Red 40 for real. Shout out Red 40.

Shout out Red 40. We were raised by it. They should have put that in eggs. Children of Red 40. Hey, to the Europeans out there. Never had that shit. Never will. They're just all that in eggs. Children of red 40. Hey, to the Europeans out there. Never had that shit.

Never will. They're just all sick, sick. I guess we don't have it. Now I'm sad. Do you know what the... Oh, sorry. Were you going to say something? Oh, no, go ahead.

I was wondering what the spread of your audience is. Because I feel like when you're... Like, our audience, super US, super male, like pretty much what you'd expect. What? Hey, whoa, 15%. We're up to 15. 85, 15.

15 out of the country? No, men and women. I like how that was harder to believe. Yeah. But do you have like a pretty international audience? I imagine way more women in your audience. A lot of women.

Yeah. Majority women. This is the most pumped my girlfriend's friends have ever been about a guest on the show. That's real sweet. Yeah. Hold it down for the women of the yard. Do you want more men? Do I want more men?

To watch? There are pros and cons to it cuz like There are men that I think are like a Theo Vaughn or whatever where it's like their approval would mean a lot to me But their fans fucking blow. Oh my god It's like you are entering into a very kind of dangerous scary territory of male followers where I don't want them you know like I want the sort of It's like come town you could get like a rifle coffee money. Oh my god like that Put a gun in one video and just see just

Nightstand Emotional NRA Watch how quickly Theo is like this this dame's all right. Sometimes, I've always made fun of Ludwig because I feel like he's always wanted all viewers at all costs. But I think that's changed. I think back then, you were down for anything. Explain that. Anyone watching you is like, if the number go up, that's a success.

Great success. Oh, like I would take like... Yeah, like if red pull was hitting at the time you Wouldn't have catered to the audience So it mind if they were watching right like number big and I've always thought that was kind of like I mean what you guys Doing your free time's not up to me right? It would be really funny because I realize I've only watched your was kind of like, I mean, what you guys are doing, your free time's not up to me, right? January is your month, yes it is mine. It would be really funny, because I realize, I've only watched your,

your main show, and I haven't watched your podcast, so if I go find an episode of your podcast, after this, and it's you in Miami, surrounded by like, nine women at a table, asking like,

why they don't want to sleep, with high status men. Yeah, I need more tings in here I like it crowded like this is Britney Bros Kombucha Girl yo Thought Daughter

or Fuck Get Your Booster Thought Daughter T-H-O-U-G-H-T Thought Daughter oh damn to answer your question it is literally

85-90% women 10% gay men you're the oppa you're the yard like anti-yard I'm the inverse of y'all yeah yard opp the yard opp so, anti-yard. I'm the inverse of y'all. Yeah, yard op. The yard op.

So combined, we are catching every human ever made. I think it pretty much sums it up. From your limited experience listening to the yard and limited experience being on the yard, what do you think we could do to get more female listeners to go? Female co-hosts. That's actually the wisest thing anyone's ever said. Yeah.

Just immediately. Okay, anything else? I want to answer that is like more Change anything, but it just happened. I want to modify basically nothing, but I want more women right right, so what do you think? That's smart could help We've always talked about this Aiden woulds, that's smart. Transitioning could help. Transitioning? Yeah. Aiden, we've always talked about this, Aiden would be up. That's real sweet. He's your first in line. Oh. And we'll get you a pair and you'll be beautiful. On the E? We would love you. You might be entitled to some benefits post-war.

Coming out of the service. We didn't take a slow drip of HRT. And from now on we're gonna hook him up to it. I'm gonna get the VA to pay for it. Last thing I fucking do. I will make sure. We'll get you on the free Australian, uh, Australian Eve. I'm gonna chop it up with Chelsea Manning.

What's up? Period. Period, uh. Period slay. Period slay, mama. You pooped in the mother toilet. And didn't flush. Jesus Christ. That's why we go to the In the universe! I like that idea of men angrily trying to take back crass slang. Yeah, that's so balls and dick.

I busted a big load. I have a big load of sundaes. I'm serving calls. It's giving cum. It's giving sperm. It's giving clitoral. You fucking idiots, it's giving sperm. It's giving sperm. You fucking idiots, it's gathering sperm. Yeah! Okay, not my ass gathering sperm. Not my crazy ass.

My horny ass gathering sperm. We can adapt. We have a strong gay fan base. Can we pull up three gay people? No, no. You think so. You think so.

But I am constantly told. Do you really? We actually have a lot of gay trans people. We're very rooted in Super Smash Bros. And that's one of the gayest esports around. Because for some reason, I think this happened during the pandemic. Like the LGBTQ plus community fucking took over and like they're the best at it. Like ours is like so good.

Their boots on the damned ground. It like fucking war horse. And guess who's the fave? Who? Oh yeah, he is. Wait, they say I'm a lesbian icon though. Yeah, but they're saying that to be nice, sweetheart. The gays is how he's referring to they, but they do respect slime the most.

You actually can't tell me that what alien isn't lesbian Okay, but also them she is a woman yeah and nicks are Residential misogynist that thing you showed me like a sweet potato She's a mechanic that you hate that it's fine. Do you hate that? Do you hate that she can fix stuff? I don't care where she votes. I just don't want to vote. Okay, where are the families from?

This is a lot of progress, though. I feel like between adding a female co-host, we'll build to a female audience. I'm thinking we dub this in Mandarin and upload this to Billy Billy. We have the Chinese market covered. Okay. That's basically the one.

Here's an idea. Are you buying shit at the Chinese woman? I could be for you. Okay. All right. Chinese for you. Good merger upon you.

Can't say cash for gold. For you. The thing is, we got a lot of work to do. That's what I'm learning today, is that the world is so big, and we've just wasted our time in it. You'll be here Monday? Jesus Christ. The world's so big, and I've just been fucking wasting my life.

I'm 33. I'm looking down the barrel every day. The car's on fire, et cetera. You're so far. So far from what? Death. Jesus died at 33. Yeah, that's a good point. And he came back three days later.

Yeah. And then didn't die a second time. I'm not, that's not gonna happen to me, dude. It's true. Why? Once we find out fucking Air One smoothies give you cancer, he's done. Why do you always give me shit about Air One? Wait, you're on the smoothie tip?

I drink smoothies, yes. You're from Air One? No. Air One smoothies is not being on the smoothie tip. It's just, it's burning money. You're decrying the smoothie train, yes. You're from Air One? No, Air One Smoothies is not being on the smoothie tip. It's just, it's burning money. You're decorating the smoothie train, bro. I burn, yeah, I burn money. What do you think this shit is to me, man?

This shit ain't nothing to me, man. I don't fucking care, dude. I'm fucking, I have 33 and the shit's over, man. Dude, I went, I was digging, I was going through your videos, and I found that- Me? Yes, yes through your videos and I found that yes yes your videos and I was watching the boyfriend ASMR one and I'm just I'm listening to the got in car crash ASMR listening to this man go from like low vocal like how much he loves his girlfriend to

screaming as he crashes his vehicle and it rolls and it's just a man like screaming in pain for minutes don't even tap into the asmr community this is a shit goes crazy that's only a great video it's truly like because it started as a really genuine like way for people to enjoy asmr yeah of like and it's so pathetic and lonely but also like kind of a slave like boyfriend asmr of like comforting you to sleep, whatever. Oh my God. And then it slowly started to turn into like, boyfriend gets possessed by a demon. Boyfriend gets into a car wreck and dies.

Boyfriend gets an anvil and piano dropped on him from a thousand meters above him. And his teeth are the keys. Boyfriend is captain of a cruise ship and accidentally crashes it into iceberg. captain of a cruise ship and accidentally crashes it into iceberg. What is it? You know, it reminds me of, it's like those old, like fandom,

uh, like Tumblr things where it's like, imagine Harry Styles. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Of course I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

Imagine Harry Styles and like, he's, he's holding your hand right before you go to like into surgery and you wake up and he's gone and you're like, where do you think you got the heart? Exactly. That shit used to hit in a way you don't't even know you both were tumblr you were a tumblr Yeah, holy shit I feel like this is just an extension of googling kind of like your name plus the hedgehog after

Like it's just wanting to see like what if I was part of that universe that I like so much Oh like yeah, cuz we I wasn't on the blank the head if you google like britney the hedgehog you've done that zipper can you google britney the hedgehog let's see it yeah uh you'll get a large array of deviant art versions of who britney the hedgehog maybe oh that's real sweet um and i'm sure it's gonna be i've never done it with a girl's name i'm realizing yeah me neither, me neither. It's going to be jarring. I can tell you that. Okay, the first result. These are all Amy. Brittany. Okay, maybe the one with the jeans.

Brittany with long hair. Damn, she's thick. Hourglass figure. Which Brittany? Hi, guys. Which Brittany the Hedgehog do you like the most? Yeah, you got to pick. You got to pick.

I like the second from the left. Second? Top. Okay. That's a Barbie logo. I like the second from the left second top okay she's got banged shorts that's a Barbie logo yeah I've literally seen this outfit in a Disney Channel original movie

she's doing ketamine therapy that was Xenon's outfit look at her yaoi hands too believe it or not VA also paying for hers I believe that I believe that what

what is the archetype of a tumblr user well are you surprised it's like i mean it was a big site an original tumblr is it still a thing yeah it's pretty dead active not okay speak for yourself i'm sorry are you still on tumblr yeah it's mainly though like it's one of the last platforms that hasn't been and this may have changed in the last year fully inundated with ads. Like up until about, I may be talking out of my ass, like 2020, 2021, it was still like relatively ad free. Then once everything with TikTok started happening and, you know, just like, I don't know, it just kind of has become shitty.

But they banned porn. Yeah, that was a big deal. It was a big deal. And a lot of people left. I remember where I was. Didn't the porn come back? It did slowly, I think, but like quietly. Can I still look at gifs of Harry and Louis almost kissing and pretending that they're in love?

I would defer to an expert on that. Uh, I don't know. Expert here. The resident 1D expert? No. One Direction. You mean Liam? Liam?

No. No, it was Louis. Harry and Louis. Oh. That was a big thing in the fandom. Harry. Yeah. You got it? Yeah. They disavowed it yesterday. Oh, they said, no, we're not doing this, guys.

I believe Louis disavowed it yesterday. The Larry shippers. Great. Wow. I think there was a certain rhythm to Tumblr as a platform that made shit really funny if you were already funny. The way weblogs worked and the way like you would iterate on things. Yeah.

Like the you know I had to do it to him guy had these like insane like deep posts were so funny. And they were so far removed from what they were. It's like the dinosaur chicken nuggets from like a real dinosaur right. You know I had to do it to him was from Tumblr? No it was from Twitter and then on Tumblr. And then they took it to Tumblr and then it became like, they would Photoshop him with like, you know, his hands were like this and they would get rid of his legs and put the hands like that.

And like, you know, I had to do it, whatever. Like it was just a sort of evolution of content. One of them, they just removed him and then made it black and white and then wrote a poem about like loss. Yeah. It was so funny. You know, I had. And it was like in italics and there was just this like this culture on the

site that i i really appreciated that i again i haven't gone on in a long time my account got like my the email got like some wow guy took my account but the email was uh but tumblr was the first place i saw a guy it was like hey just join this website hoping to have a good time and then some guy replied to that he's's like, yo, welcome. Here's a guy blowing a dolphin. And it was a gif of that happening. And I was like, that's crazy. Dude, Tumblr was so cool.

How old were you? God, take me back. How old was I? Shit, I was in college. I was like 24. You said mentally ill. And it reminded me of a girl in my dorm who I found out. Transition god over out. A company, I was interning at like a startup

and they had just gotten a bunch of VC funding. And she made a post about this on her Tumblr page about how I should be guillotined because the company got $10 million in funding. You should be? Yeah, which is weird because I think from her perspective, I owned the company, but I was an intern there Yeah, you were 18 right?

Yeah, and I and I needed to do and she posted a picture of the guillotine below the post this was on tumblr This is on tumblr like an ask.fm dot sort of thing Oh, she would just write like up rants and then someone else that in my dorm like said you should look at this Wait were you so they were following her you weren't I wasn't following her I wasn't really on Tumblr anymore

because I had gotten over my Larry my Larry era and I wasn't really using it much and then she was like here check out this link and I was like

oh that's X it's just a live link and this is about me and how I should how I should die and that is a rite of passage for a lot of people. You need a death threat or a hundred, and that'll teach you the ways of the internet.

It kind of prepped me, because the couple I've gotten in the last few years, I've kind of unveiled. Yeah, you can giggle at it. Because that initial shock and horror. Yeah. Guillotine is such a visceral. That's what I was thinking. It was a little extra, right?

It's like... She was going for a dramatic flair. Come on. It was a lot less funny when I tweeted it like... She was going for a dramatic flair. Come on. It was a lot less funny when I tweeted it. Right. Well, that would be considered a hate crime. Usually in that sort of context. Oh, it is kind of.

What were you reblogging? What was your aesthetic? I was reblogging, like, King of the Hill screenshots. Were you doing, like, 3D glitch Bart Simpson onespson ones too no i there was a post that is still so legendary in my head and it's a list of like some person just made up a bunch of british foods and one of them is like potted ape like boiled dish rags and there's like 20 and they're so creative oh my god it was shit like that and i just spend a bunch of time on there i think i genuinely developed my sense of humor into what it is i'd agree which i like a

lot and it kind of makes me i don't go on the site anymore so it's like i thought it was dead you say it's not which is cool there's still people keeping it alive i mean it's not what it was you know and i think also like tumblr had its moment in internet history and now tiktok's having its moment and then whatever's going to come after TikTok will have its moment. So yeah, it's kind of dead, but for the people that give a shit. Yeah, which is kind of nice, right? Besides Tumblr, what do you think is particularly formative for you leading into TikTok? A Wattpad.

Wattpad? What did you call me? Is this fan fiction? I'm Italian. You can't say that. You can't say that into the mic with your chest. Whisper it to me off mic. Fanfic.

Were you reading, writing? Both. All of the above. Whoa, for what? For what fandom? Okay, so, funny you ask. Cole Sprouse. No way.

Cole Sprouse, like, the human? Not, like, from Zack and Cody. Not Cody. Cole. Cole. Yeah, no, no, no, not Zack and Cody. He's the Smasher one, right? No, that's Dylan. Dylan Dylan plays smash Cole's gonna be the

nerdier one they both went to NYU and Cole like had a tumblr actually I don't know if you were on this was like 2015 2016 he did tumblr as a social experiment and then like deleted it and it was the funniest thing ever and I became a big fan of him during this

time is he camera wars or is that the other guy? Yeah, he's camera duels. Yeah, he's so funny. I wrote a fanfiction about him, funny enough about war. He was in the Gulf War. And I'm not joking in this life. He was in Kuwait. Yes, and he came back and of course, war changes people.

It does. So he was not the same. Why cool. Those were a couple rough numbers. Did he get along with Dylan still? Yeah, he was. In Timers? No, in the fanfic.

Oh, Dylan was not mentioned in the fanfiction. Not once? No. Isn't that a little dog? No, because in the fanfiction, it's me and Cole. Okay. Didn't he ever like, call him, maybe? No, who gives a fuck about Dylan?

He was my man. Cole- Dylan- Dylan got into eSports and mead. Dylan's our Cole. He owns a meadery. There's no meadery in the family. Okay, which one's the one that recently was smoking and then everyone's like, that's not cool. That's Cole.

That's Cole? Okay, did that come up? You're diehard. Hell yeah. Damn. It's bad. It was like a moment in my life and then I forgot about it. And then I recently recently like within the last

Year I realized that my public publishers publicist publicist She's big time My publicist I wanted to make the noise so Do it Was No. Do it. Do it. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Was it worth it? Ugh. No.

It's good to make the dog eat the food. It's like a sleeper. It's like a sleeper agent thing. It's like a sleeper agent thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Honey, we're podcasting. Rub their nose in a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Um. All right. So you. Wait, was it, was it smutty? Of course it was oh Never fanfic was never a thing. I pay you to make a yard fanfic. I I would but in what context

We're all inflating we all went to war and we came back from war have you ever seen the picture of Big Yoshi big Yoshi. Big Yoshi. Big Yoshi. Inflated Yoshi. Go ahead and show me. Pull up big Yoshi. Rule 34. Inflated Yoshi for 300. I want you to draw us like that.

All right. We're coming back from war, but Aiden died in war. And we have to do the podcast without him. And we're grappling with that. And I'm big like that because I ate him after he died. We had to eat him. You always eat the most of it. It was the only way I could bring his body back.

And then his body swells like a whale when a whale's about to pop and die. And then he bursts him. He bursts him in the ass. That's real pretty. That's real nice. I used to read, um, I don't know why, nevermind. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was just gonna say I used to read Smut. There was no value after that. You used to read some Smut?

You're a nasty little man. There was no value after that Yeah, cuz I couldn't because I had a I had a PSP and it wouldn't load video and so I would read For years I've probably said it on the pod before but in my first time Attempting to beat off what I would do because I was paranoid that my parents would look at my browser history is I would I would look up the movie hot chick but just hot chick with Rob Schneider with Rob Schneider and then I would go to images until I found a girl that was hot enough to beat my little man uh and if my parents ever looked at my browser history I would never click the photo you're like I'm just a fan I'm looking for the movie and they'd be like how many times are you gonna look for this movie yes we have definitely have

talked about this before it's exactly what you said last time. He really loves this movie. Every year for your birthday, they give you some hot chicks. I keep getting them like, thanks. Oh my God, favorite. Hot chick. Love this movie. You made me think of this because of Smutty and Cole Sprouse.

Dylan had acted in a short film recently. It's not Smutty so much as it is kind of kind of beautiful but he has this uh he came back to like acting in small time roles like a 10 15 minute thing of him cross-dressing and dating this older man and it's kind of this beautiful story of him like keeping this older man company and Dylan is the lead in it And I was wondering if you had watched that He makes me I'm in Fox. Have you ever tried Falco?

Falco's so cool. They're similar! You have no idea how much this has just been contextualized to us. They're so similar! She likes Fox! You're valid. He's actually so right. I'm sorry. It's okay. Look, it's okay. They are very...

It's a beautiful piece of media. I believe you is the thing. And here's the thing too that I kind of... It's like saying that Kevin Jonas is your favorite Jonas brother. It's like, oh, you want attention. But when I say Cole Sprouse is my favorite Sprouse brother, I mean that with my chest. I think it's fair, because I think Cole's done a lot of, like... Red dress. I don't think it's the same as the Jonas brothers.

Absolutely not even close. Yeah. You know what's funny is I thought they were identical twins until, like, a year ago. What the... No, they're not. They are. Are they? A hundred percent. Yeah. They are the definition were identical twins until like a year ago. What no they're not Are they a hundred percent? I'm dead ass. I think they look pretty like a pretty different. No, but I identical twins does I don't think identical twins means that fraternal arms that you are

From each other I have to believe you because you're the expert I have to blow you can be 50 minutes over fraternal Okay, definitely identical twins, so you're saying that. I have to believe you're the expert. You can be 50 minutes older if you're fraternal. But they're definitely identical twins. So you're saying that when you watched Sweet Life with Zack and Cody, let's say you're a first-time watcher of Sweet Life with Zack and Cody. You're like, I definitely know which one it is. I watched a Disney Channel original movie starring them, and I was like, oh, they look different. Why do they look so fucking different?

Because they got, look, okay, here's what I can tell you. I can see. Can you look up Big Daddy? Big Daddy with Adam Sandler? Yeah, who do you think the child is in it? No! Yes. Dude, you didn't know that? No! And the reason they hired Dylan and- You're talking about Big Daddy? Yeah.

The reason they hired Dylan and Cole Sprouse is because they're identical twins in child working labor laws. 100%? I'll switch them out. 100%? So they did look identical, they've just grown up and now they look a little different. Oh my god. See, they're identical. Oh my God. It's crazy you guys are sitting here saying they're fraternal.

I feel like I'm going through the fucking wormhole. I just thought they looked so different. I did too. Thank you. Well, look, go to their college graduation ones down. Go down a little bit. Go down more. Go down.

Okay? We missed it. Yeah, you have to click on the picture you clicked on with the green border. Google's weird now. And then you scroll through that one. And it'll be in the suggested from that one or just search uh can you look up dylan cole's house graduating this one see i can clearly tell who's who in this photo they look so different okay you guys are smoking crack to me okay which one's which yeah on the right on the left and

dylan on the right yeah you got it you got it you got it zipper I'm sorry to I'm sorry to how much time do we have left right now? You go pure little head off. I'm gonna explode. I need to pee too. I'm holding it how much 10 minutes I can make it 10 we make it 10. I make it 10. I'm a little strong I'm a volcano right now. No me too. This is combining with I had like a large coffee before this I'm about to tear your shit up down I do not This is the this is the the short film he is so good look he looks like his hair has been extended by AI Wow What a beautiful that's why you want to wear a dress is that what you and me bro mean you mean you

That's why you're always talking about my body You and me, bro. Me and you? Me and you. That's why you're always talking about my body. I'm an old man. You're the beautiful young woman. What was this on, Aiden?

What? This is just on YouTube. It's just a YouTube original? It's not like an A24 or something? I don't know if it premiered originally, but you can watch it on YouTube. That's where I watched it. On some Vimeo? I forgot about Vimeo! No, you didn't forget about it.

It's still big. Vimeo has a use. Vimeo has a use. Vimeo is only for filmmakers now. And it's for filmmakers. And it's cool. It is cool. You can upload

lossless files. I want to upload my video to make it less cool. You can upload a 40 gigabyte video if you want full quality. It's cool. I don't want these filmmakers thinking they get their own shit.

I'm going to start uploading my dirt on there. You want to suck it all up like a big... I'm going to upload my YouTube shorts to Vimeo. Mudslo.com and so they're gonna scroll through they're gonna see some filmmaker shit and it's gonna be me

it's just ludwig highlights with minecraft under it yeah those those like uh kinetic sand slime videos it's gonna tell a story do you feel like you've ever had to just make slop to keep up slop for the piggies yes yeah a lot of the time does it hurt well like i do this series on youtube that's like here are my favorite tiktoks and it's literally just me scrolling through my favorite tiktoks and laughing there's nothing to the video and people are like the seals start clapping literally and i i'm it makes me rethink like every creative decision i've ever made like is this really i think do you think it'll be hard when you're in front of God and you have to show him? When I'm at the pearly gates and I'm like, check this shit out.

I think he'll laugh. Dude, the saddest thing of all is you get there and he's like, those are my favorite videos. Exactly. The saddest thing to me is that the girl reading this doesn't know she's beautiful. But now she does. Now she does. Read the first word again. Read the first letter and all the words in there.

And I'll read it backwards. Kill yourself. Well, that's fucking cool. You watch TikTok, you're a fucking millionaire. That's awesome. What do I gotta do? It feels like a cheat.

Like, yeah, it doesn't feel good. But there are some... What's your big dream, though? My big dream is... Well, I do Royal Court, which is my interview show. Do you have a thing you haven't done that you really want to do? Do you want to make a movie, TV show? No, I want to do voice acting for Disney.

Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you a Disney adult? I am. I'm a secret Disney adult. I don't think it's secret. But you're not secret because you have a tattoo of Mickey Mouse on your arm.

It's not that secret. That was super like you're already there and can do it until you said Disney. That's the think it's secret. But you're not secret because you have a tattoo of Mickey Mouse on your arm. It's not that secret. That was super like you're already there and can do it until you said Disney. That's the hard part. Exactly. That's like the wow. That jump is I imagine very hard to make. It is because doing what this is online where I'm like and then my lady balls busted

because I had pee in them. Yeah. It's like not necessarily friendly. You have to delete your videos. No no no no. To voice act a Disney movie? Definitely not. There's definitely, like, huge female comedians who end up Ellen DeGeneres. Awkwafina? Awkwafina is a way better example than mine.

The Rock? Awkwafina is a good example. The Rock's a good example, too. He's a fucking wrestler. And he votes red. And he's on trend. And he's red-pilled. That's kind of good for you.

And he's goaded. And he's so hot. And he comes from the turnbuckle with so much... The best example is-pilled. That's kinda good for you. And he's goaded. And he's so hot. And he comes from the turnbuckle with so much heat. The best example is actually Iago. What's his name? Oh. Gilbert Godfrey?

Gilbert? That was back in the day, though. His comedy is fucking raunchy, bro. He's dead. Oh my god, yeah, Robin Williams, now that you say that. Robin Williams had some of the raunchy, some of his sets from like the late 90s. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it can be done done but it's also like it's a different

brand now than it was back true you can probably do like a like a paramount original right now and just do the whole thing yeah but do i want to yeah probably not i guess but it's kind of cool so wait what would you want to voice like some new ip or do you want to be like in toy story 7 no i think like an equivalent of like what Josh Gad was for Olaf and Frozen. Okay. Sort of like, you know, that is Josh Gad. I am not fucking with you. That's Josh Gad, right? Not Jonah

Hill? It's Josh Gad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was him based on the voice. Isn't that crazy? Because they look similar. But I thought, yeah. I know. Sort of like tubby white guys. It's fine. You ever see Josh Gad in Board of Death? No, but I've seen Josh Gad in Book of Mormon. Okay. Board of Death But I thought yeah, I know this is like tubby white guys You ever see Josh Gad boarded death no, but I've seen Josh Gad in Book of Mormon Okay, boarded death is good because he plays a guy who is as a huge wiener. It's very funny. It's a great show

Josh Gad likes being Olaf 100% you think that's a career maker in my mind. It's a career also ender. No, you're stupid. No, like he's always going to be Olaf. When David Dobrik finally voiced an Angry Bird, I would say he made it. Seeing David Dobrik. You're the Angry Birds guy. Holy shit.

Oh my God. I don't know if Josh Gad has like, he's probably done a lot of work after too, but I think he's always going to be Olaf. I think it's a, you know, double-edged sword where it's like, that is the gift that keeps on giving. But yeah, forever. It's like your meme. He's living that.

But you didn't even know. Yeah, I didn't. So like, we broke away. I don't know if Josh Gad broke away. What about Chris Pratt? Do you think he's sucking and fucking his way to the top? Will he ever escape Mario? No, he got to be Mario.

He kind of shouldn't have been. Oh my God, he cheated life there. You know what I'm saying? Do you think because his breakout role is Mario in the career of Chris Pratt? No, no, no.

What I'm saying is I don't think he should have been Mario. He's mostly asking if Chris Pratt is sucking and fucking his way to the top. Who should have been Mario? The guy who voiced Mario Charles Martinet.

An Italian man, a guy that pretends to be one. What? I didn't understand what he said. He said, I'm not Italian, but I pretend to be one. Are you pre-translating? Yeah. I think, like, an Adrian Brody. If they would have done Mario, like, really, actually.

You cannot go from the pianist to Super Mario. Peaky Blinders. It just can't be done.'s a super Mario He's just too dramatic he's like Cillian Murphy is What you put your hand out like this Killian, huh? It's Killian Murphy. It's Killian. Oh, no I let it slide I was thinking it too No fucking way I let it slide because I hate when the comments are just fixing the one error that people knew about Okay, it's literally Killian you fucking idiot Well, we need the comments for engagement, so I don't believe Ludwig. Do you think that works?

I don't think the people who correct like one-off moments are this deep into the video I think they're in the retention of the beginning of the video We'll put it at the beginning This is the teaser Let's all say a wrong fact and see if anyone corrects it Oh, well, I was not there on January 6th I'm saying one they could correct I'll say a wrong fact.

The vaccine stopped the spread of COVID. Right. You go say bullshit. She's watching her Disney career do this all in front of her. I want to be all up. What was it you called it? Chinese poison?

The Wuhan virus. Jesus Christ Was that a thumb up I saw? Oh we're there? We're there You can both empty your balls of the urine That is stored inside of them And you out there can empty your balls

Into our Patreon Any final words or thoughts you'd like to express? I think we need more white guys with podcasts And Probably someone Someone with some damn head on it I think we need more white guys with podcasts I'm happy to be here today Thank you for accepting me into the co-op I'm feeling very valued as a comrade Over leggings

I'm realizing With the high top I like the look It's kind of a good look It's like what comes on the mannequin. Definitely. If a mannequin dressed itself. You split it to the middle and you're like,

I want that. Thanks for coming on. You own 20% of the yard now. Oh my God. Thank you. It's 8 and 20%. All right. Goodbye.

Goodbye forever. We'll never do it again. I know.