The Yard - Ep. 145 - Ludwig was robbed. Again.

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

This week, the boys talk about Taylor's new album, Nick losing master baker, and how Slime haunts ShakeDrizzle in public spaces...

you do have a bad track maybe it's have you ever considered that it's your fault you should track record you should consider that how How quickly can we shift into the victim here? Can't wait for you to get assaulted. What kind? Oh, dude. I hope they throw the book at him. The whole book of assault? It's such an inversion of the phrase.

That's what a judge does, is throw the book at them. Yeah. But you're saying the criminal should throw the book at Aiden that's how they find out what crimes to do looking through the assault encyclopedia the book of bad shit that can happen the anarchist cookbook I hope they

make napalm out of your brains okay are we going? I wanted to make Ludwig uncomfortable but i see that it's quickly flipped on me and you said you said yourself how do we make this about the victim and they're in stellar execution yeah welcome i have so much practice to that ludwig guys i want to prime you for this episode ludwig is sad this is the sad episode this is the sad episode yeah so we're going to be talking about a lot of sad stuff like

chunky peanut butter He's good right I meant smooth I guess You want chunky and you don't attack Neither are good neither Sweden peanut butter is called Jörgsjöberg. It's called Jörgsjöberg, and if you're allergic, it doesn't even hurt you. They put dead fish in it. I think it actually makes it better.

Yeah, it smells like a nasty, like a butt, and I love it because I'm a sweetaboo. Mm-hmm. God. Sluta. That means stop. Sluta. Do not, you cannot say that. You can't say that.

You can't say that. I can't say that. That is so fucked. Sluta. Dude, you guys. Dude, that's fucked up. Get to the end of this shit now. Guess what this means.

Flika. Oh my god. Is that for the other type? Yeah. That's for the other kind. Yo, yo, iskade. Yo, iskade. This guy.

You guys cannot say that. Can we stop doing Swedish on the podcast? We don't have any Swedish fans. That's all Swedish slurs, actually. Yeah, I was going to say. That's why you guys slapped five after. Okay, so the reason why Ludwig... Ludwig's actually very valid to be kind of bummed out today.

As opposed to normally. Yes, absolutely. Wait, I'm sorry. Why are you validating my sadness what a funny question like i shouldn't do if you're sad for any normal reason it would be acceptable it's self-validating excuse me it's self-validating what is my sadness it's self-validating well there's no there's no wrong thing i'm doing by you know verbalizing i hate when chat does it when chat yeah verbalizes your sadness no just any emotion or thought

like give me an example yeah yeah i just say like you know what i actually enjoyed dark souls more than elden ring which isn't true but if i said that they'd go like that's really valid ludwig you hate that You hate that. I hate that. Ooh, you want a little, you want them to fight you on it. I don't want them to fight me. It's just like. You know, it's like, it was already valid when I said it.

Yeah, I thought it. It was my thought. No, when someone says that's valid, they're reaffirming that you may have taken a brave stance. And they're saying, hey, you know what? This is okay. They don't say it about fucking peanut butter because it's a normal thing to like. Don't say a fucking word. Yeah.

With that fuck-ass haircut, do not say anything. Come on, man. It's not fuck-ass. I just didn't do anything with it. I think Aiden's had the most looks by far on the show. If you just take PNGs and cut them out and put them all next to each other of each look, he has the highest quantity. He's our era meter.

We're in the fuck-ass Bob era now. For me, it's been just a gradient of whether or not I've had facial hair. The thing is, Taylor does this because she was dating someone named Bob, and Bob broke her heart. It was Eric Reprid, and he called her a mom.

Dude, Taylor Swift and Eric Reprid. I ship it. Yeah, that would be... And he lets her say it? Dude, Taylor's lyrics, they're getting a little bit more... Like, they could be pulled right out of a TikTok. So, I don't know. I think she could pull it off.

I think she could get away. Deep on Taylor this time. I've been spending the last five days with Cutie Cinderella. Of course I'm on Taylor Swift. I met him. What about him? What do you mean? You're going deeper on Taylor. What do you mean going deeper? You're deep on Taylor. You've been tweeting about Taylor

now? Yeah. Dude, the entire world sat down at once and listened to something at the same time. Not me. Which I think is interesting. It's a double, dude. It's a double album. I hit Platt that night. Two of them.

That's what I did. Two of them, dude. I worked hard. Huh? I worked hard and hit Platt. I was watching Cutie just absolute, like, hooked up to the copium machine talk about this album. And she was just like i

actually well i realized uh that if you just don't really pay attention to the first part of the album like if you just let it play and like don't think about it or listen to it it's actually pretty good no this is a real sense because i messaged her after this i was like i i genuinely was curious like she's getting rightfully roasted right and she gave me this like whole like i i genuinely was curious i was like she's getting rightfully roasted right and she gave me this like whole like seven paragraph breakdown which is actually really cool because look i don't think it's maybe i'm more disconnected than i thought is this not being well received is she getting roasted oh brother you haven't seen i thought she wants to go back to 1830 she said that i thought they would back the blue no matter what. I think it's being very well received by almost everyone,

but like listeners. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Right. So if you listen to it, you won't like it. No, I'm saying the people who listen to Taylor. His therapist told him we're supposed to validate these. When these happen, we just say yes. That's so valid, Ludwig.

Yeah, that's valid. Don't do it. On my sad day, you have to listen. Okay. You're right. You're right. Tell us now. You're right.

We do have to listen. Well, I think it's, I think it's, there's a lot of people listening to Taylor who don't like Taylor. Yeah. They're listening to hate. They're hate listeners. And I think they're loud, but I don't think they actually ultimately matter for like how well the album will do. Oh my God, he's Ludwig Pild right now.

He's literally talking about this like he talks about a YouTube video that is a 5 out of 10. It's no different. Will this album be a classic? It'll have classics. The whole thing. Okay, well that's different. Will the whole thing be a classic Taylor Swift album? I don't know if i can

be the judge on that what if it's maybe the second half what if it's her most listened to piece of album ever at the end of it when all the dust settles with how many songs that are on it it's possible that's different okay also people listening right now you might not care you know who cares about his i think that genuinely if something has the attention of this many human beings at once it's worth thinking about and not being a counterculture bot about we should you're getting ahead of people not liking the episode I'm just by saying but you should I can I'm just saying there are people and it's really easy to be like this is gay just me and you here baby we just have a talk I think no I'm We don't have to worry about that.

I'm being real. Who cares what they think? If we let them talk about it, we can talk about it. What they think doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is it's a good thing to be able to talk about giant cultural moments, even if, especially if they're cringe. I think that's valid. Isn't this not as big as, like, when BTSts drops an album i don't fucking know this is

but like you don't keep up this has to be bigger i don't know yeah because i'm a fucking red-blooded american that's a good question what are you taylor i listened to the first i think two songs of her album on my way to master bager because i thought it'd make me more culturally relevant to the show i was kind of doing a character study. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a part where she says, she's talking about, she's talking, the Swifties will know,

but she's talking about like dating someone, obviously. And they're obviously not dating anymore. And then she's like, we used to talk about how Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist. Yeah, people were roasting you for that one. I heard that lyric and I was like, Charlie Puth. So I started listening to Charlie Puth instead. And I was like, oh, he I started listening to Charlie Puth and I was like

oh he made light switch he's big enough the songs have a billion listens what does she want from Charlie Puth I was lost in my life it's about Maddie Healy from Charlie Puth no it's about Maddie Healy oh that song's about Maddie Healy it's about the Comptown. It's about the Comptown man. It's about the ghostly evil Comptown man. That's so cool. I know. Adam Freeland was like, I heard there's a big album out about me. Dude, oh my god. It's so fucking funny.

Do you think that that's part of the lyrics? Do you think that she mentions like Nick Mullen? Yeah, she calls it a semen village. When you said the n-word. Yeah, the whole song is called semen village. Semen village. a semen village. When you said the N-word. Yeah, the whole song is called Semen Village. Semen Village. My semen village. Yeah.

Going hard. Oh, dude. Yeah, dude. Do you think they talk anymore? That's why it's really funny. Well, they only exchange probably their favorite ways to do a Chinese voice over text. I think you meant Matty Healy. Yeah.

And Taylor Swift. Right. I was thinking Matty Healy in. They use signal on an encrypted line. Yeah. And just talk. And just do really racist improv. Having one signal contact to do your racist improv because the scrutiny is too high.

Yeah, the scrutiny is too high. It's like, it's just locked down like the president, like Obama, who weirdly enough also did that. With Mattie Healy. Did we say why Lubbock is sad? No, we didn't. Because it's not important. Because sad, it comes in all flavors.

So he's not valid. No, he is valid. Let our friends share. I did say it was actually valid instead of like the other times. Ludwig, why are you sad, bears? They're robbed, man. You're fucking robbed. They're robbed.

You got your pockets run. They stole. On Alvarado. Right on the street. Why would they do that? Why would they rob my car? I don't know. A young gentleman.

I don't know why they'd rob a young street soldier. Is it because they know you'll get it back? I think if I put a bumper sticker that said young street soldier, they wouldn't have robbed me. So they broke into your car, whoever this was, and they took what? They took my jacket. Which jacket? Why are you making me relive it? I have hiccup.

Because reliving this is good for you and entertaining for them. Feel big? No, no, here, I got it. Oh, the reliving this is good for you and entertaining for them. Feel big? No, no, here, I got it. Oh, the jacket that makes you gay if you wear it? Did they take that one? No, I have that one still. They're supposed to say yes because now they think they're visible.

I'm wearing it. They took my leather jacket, my hot leather jacket. Which you liked very much. I liked it so much and I found it. It was so expensive. It was so expensive. That's a lick, actually. Jacket my hot leather jacket you liked very much. I liked it so much and I found it It was so expensive That guy probably has no idea how much that jacket is worth $5,000 leather jacket. Yeah, if you guys see that shit in LA on Facebook marketplace, let me know I'll pull up for 30 bucks. Just buy it back. I'll pull up and say will you take $5,000 for this?

I'll just take it. I'll give them one thousand like you're still they don't know What was the other one? I? Think is a Red Bull jacket and then oh, that's good cuz he won't be able to wear that one It says it on the label on the inside Get to be an athlete Just like dude no oh

pay when you get one of these I think when you get an athlete exclusive piece of gear maybe it's like one of those things like you put the jacket

on you become an athlete oh my god he starts making youtube shorts yeah well I'm thinking maybe more traditional athlete

not like the outlier kind of athlete he's an athlete. Well, he's not an athlete. He's a Red Bull player. That's why Kaidei thought it was so funny. His sport is YouTube?

Yeah, his sport is bringing smiles to children's faces. Basketball. You've seen. Oh, they gave you, they made you an athlete because of your basketball skills. You're a basketball player for Red Bull.

Yes, sir. You did make a victory over a varsity player. Yeah. Amen. It's true. Varsity. A varsity player, yeah. That's pretty good.

It's the best in high school. You can't get higher than that. You can. Not in high school, I guess. Oh, God. Can't we talk about how you did against them? I haven't said shit. I'm not.

I know when I'm you know I did you look good you look good everyone's saying how good you look you do look great I'm saying you look good I'm sorry they took it

it's okay I have a question for you so what can you describe what Master Baker was like for you and how you won oh

yeah I would love to did you not I did not so I want to give you the stage to talk about what it takes to win. So if I ever have another chance, I can be closer. Dude, I just literally sat there with my hands on my hips every day just being like, fuck.

Did you ever get saved? I got saved, I think, once, if I remember correctly. Yeah, I got saved. But I think people didn't want to resave all the time, so that was also a part of it. But, yeah. I was just, like, fucking, I came in every day. I pretended I was the guy from The Bear.

I would cut an apple with a knife. And your food was good. No. It was just better than everyone else's. That's crazy. I think my field was bullshit. I had Eric Point Crow fucking next to me. Like, what are we doing, man?

That guy is a stone dead dumbass. That's what I'm saying, right? So it's like, I kind of got lucky. It's like, I was the best Melee player in 2003. I bumped into his head once and it went... That guy comes home from Master Baker and then crosses Breath of the Wild in a straight line. I fell asleep to that video last night yeah he sits on the edge of his bed saying nothing until someone asks him to

do another thing that's why he needs abby oh it's time to go again my favorite thing about point crow is he's a former collegiate rower yeah and so his back is so big that when he plays basketball he looks like the hunchback because he doesn't have equivalent chest muscles. Yeah, it's weird. So he's always hunched over and his back looks insane. And then he turns around. He looks like a Sam Sulek thumbnail, but like from one angle.

But it's insane from that angle. In our basketball games, Yan likes to play like a lean like a cholo style basketball where he's got his elbows up and he's putting them like this into your back. And it hurts. Talking about Big Steppa? I'm talking about Big Steppa Yan. And I was getting pissed off because every time he'd be guarding me, he'd be like this. He'd be giving me a massage.

And I'm like, stop doing that. So I started playing rough with Yan. Oh. But then Point Crow switches with Yan and comes in and I'm still in a rough mode. So he's behind me. I sort of give him a push and he like he like stumbles back like a fall guy and i literally heard him go oh i heard i heard do a little thing and he was like oh that's what we're doing that's it that's a yeah and for the

rest of the day he was a wall he was a wall i could not push through he was i was like putting all my weight into him and he's just like like, mm-mm, I'm stuck here. Dude, he casually told us yesterday that he did a 100-kilometer row by himself. Like he did. Yeah, yeah. That's so far. Computer, translate. That's a 70-mile row? Out of 60 miles?

It is disgusting how you just said kilometer instead of translating it. Because that's how you say it. That's the events are in kilometers. They don't do it. You say it. No, that's how you say it. That's how we don't do it. That's how we start a show. I say this. I was on the road. It the events are in kilometers. They don't you say

The mile or the 1600 kilometer, I think those are literally different events. Yeah, they are because I said 1,600 kilometers. Yeah, one of those is like insane. Yeah, it's really long. I've done that one a lot in track, though. I don't think I've walked that much distance. It's almost 1,000 miles. Classic event. Yeah, I asked him about this because I was like, why did you do rowing?

He's like, I just wanted to do something in college. That's the only answer. That's a good reason. Sick. That is a good reason. You should do something in college. Try some shit. Too bad it wasn't like black belt karate.

We should make an event where it's just the longest run ever and you just can't stop. I think this exists. I think Russ Cook just did this. You can't stop at all? You're saying it's like a thing everyone does at once though No I just meant like I don't think we've done this Have we done this?

Where you just go as far as you possibly can without sleeping Until all your vital organs shut down This is okay When you say organs shut down You're talking about human society There is an event like this I forget what it's called There's an event in the US where you just run as long as you can do they classify a run from?

a walk There was a Malcolm. I think you're just trying to Run you actually can't walk yeah, that's all your bodily that's why it's interesting That is what that's what I was thinking was that you can't walk. You have to run and then we have to find a run. Zipper, can you please look up Malcolm in the Middle walking race?

This is, this has been covered extensively through a sitcom episode of Malcolm in the Middle. We got it. It's done. I promise you,

this has all the answers you'll ever need. I've seen this episode. It's like, is Hal in it or something? Yeah. He becomes a competitive walker and then he does analysis

and realizes that he's kind of flicking his wrist And he's kind of like bouncing His like heel and he's like you're running God that show is so good It's so fucking funny So yeah we as a society I don't know maybe we've done that I'd love to see some people

Like their stomach come out of their butt There's a basement gym in Norway That they just do a 100 hour race on. It's miserable. Yeah. So this is the like- so you come up with the- in the show he has like this walking like outfit.

I remember this episode too. Yeah dude it's classic. This must have been one of their best. Dude he's the Sonic kid. Yeah. And he just blows by Hal. He looks so young there and fit. He is.

This is Aiden when someone hits his fucking roll from ledge This is Aiden getting a Come on. That was fresh. That was Sharkboy and Lava Girl. It's okay. I jumped off at 0%. I'm sad because I lost Master Maker. This fucking stone dead

dum-dum messed up Tiramisu. It's hard. You're Italian. It's hard. Dude, you shouldn't say and I hate him. That was the hardest day. I hate him, but you are being unfair. But I hate him. and I hate him. That was the hardest day. I hate him. Yeah. But you are being unfair. But I hate him. But and.

He's Italian. And you're with a hard eye. I hate him. He, Italian. But you are being really unfair. He's Italian. I don't care, bro. I don't care, bro.

Italians should know. You just know how to make tiramisu? Lady fingers? You don't know damn shit about shit. The episode's already come out, so you are. No, I didn't watch. I was streaming. Oh, but you already know what happened.

I was streaming. You were streaming. I literally have an alibi. You were sandbagging fucking the Elden Ring so you can actually try it the game what it's a scary bag we're fucking saying that I'm straight was you were saying know how to make ladyfingers I don't know what they are I only I only suck on them that's the best I got get out of that. You gotta laugh. This is what happens when you have an 11 sharp.

You should have heard me when Baby No Money was passing me the bottle of Hershey's. I said, Hershey's? What are these pronouns? I was all weekend I was activated. Okay. Okay.

Slat. Yeah, it's tough like i won day i won the first two days you should be on master baker you dumb bastard i'm on next you're too afraid i'm you're just a child how many days did you win the word i said how many days did you win like first place in the day i think it was like two out of the week we're just saying if you don't count the end yeah whoa so one of them I just

I remember I still remember this day Aria was like this is perfect she's like it's not too sweet it was cookies and I'm like

it was cookies it was cookies I remember chocolate chip and in my head I was like fucking right I was so proud

of myself dude it feels so good to bake something right and they like it it feels amazing Chocolate chip and in my head. I was like fucking right Good to bake something right and they like it it feels amazing Unfortunate that cuz you won the first two days out the gate. Oh, I could rush it. It was no competition You're good. I was there you're amazing. I was just like what was the one you fucked up? Tiramisu, that's right. I'm disgusting was it like a pile of like sweat and butt okay here here was my mistake bones i i thought it'd be really cool if i got like perfect tiramisu like i didn't want to be like taste good but technically isn't tiramisu so i was trying to think like what what the fuck is it i've had it before but i have no idea what goes into it and so i somehow got the idea in my head. I was like, maybe it's egg whites and not yolks.

Maybe that'll be fluffier or something. So I just tried that. And Cutie, like someone was like, oh, you're doing egg whites. She goes, oh, you're doing egg whites? Like she couldn't help herself. And I was like, yes. We use that in that show. She gives away hints. Everything you say on the table conveys information.

But then she saw my reaction from that. And was like oh no don't don't pay attention to me and i was like i took that is she doesn't want to help me so i was like ah i think i read your little mind and she was like no and i'm like wait is it yolks then and then she fucked me up it was neither she just was having like a totally separate thing that she was excited that she thought I said. She likes eggs. That I didn't say. And so I go all in, egg whites. Not a single yolk in that cake. And it comes out like a dense eraser. It comes out like a... In form, it looks exactly like tiramisu.

Wow. But in taste, it is just rubber. Wow. So they all gagged when they tried it and i got voted out of me cutie's pov was so different because she came back and i asked her i was like what was the thing she's like tiramisu i was like who lost oh she's like nick i was like oh my god how she's like i don't know i try to give him so many hints no and i'm like i'm like the only hint that she did give me which i this is my fault this my fault, but it wouldn't have saved me.

I would, I swear to loss was she was like, she handed, she put a bottle of whipping cream on the table while she walked by. And I was like, this needs whipped cream. And so I made whipped cream. Was she trying to fucking, was she trying to cook the book? She likes to give everybody a little bit of sauce. She hadn't tasted my cake. So she thought that I had like done so

Beautifully perfect that she was just like just run across the finish line. Yeah, it was like It makes it so good. Yeah, and then when she tried my cake she literally she exclaimed god damn it Nick Oh my god I think she was gunning for me a little because not because of it's me but because I had like done a good job of Like doing what tiramisu kind of looked like And I just fucked it i fucked it so bad and then i accidentally did it hurt it hurt yeah i wanted to be good and i accidentally left so i had made a backup batch of cake just in case like it saved me i was like i'm gonna put another

one in there just in case at the end of this i need different cake but i forgot it was in there and so but i didn't actually forget i told her assistant i was like hey there's cake in there you should take that out like okay she didn't take forget. I told her assistant, I was like, hey, there's cake in there. You should take that out. She's like, okay. And she didn't take it out. So the cake stayed in overnight. And I think the oven also stayed on overnight. Oh, that's fine.

Which is an incredible hazard. Yeah, no, it did. But we came in the next day and it was a perfect sphere of charcoal. Oh. It was like, it was the darkest, just black piece of charcoal. And then Will and F ate it. No, ew. That's so bad for you. And then he said, for extra points, you can, and then Will and F ate it. No, ew. That's so bad for you. And then he said, for extra points, you can eat it, and then I ate it.

Really? Oh. Because brotherhood. That's so bad for you. Yeah, I think it's what carcinogens are made of. It's literally, yeah. Yeah. Wow.

So that would be the lamest way to go out. Dude, I ate a charcoal brick, and it was yummy, but I'm dead now. I thought it was chocolate. On a dare, it's funnier, though. Yeah. Well, he said he'd charcoal brick yummy, but I'm dead not it was Dare it's funnier though. Yeah, well he said he me points, and I still fucking love points. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool You you both got win in there You feel like I heard you're miserable you got lost you lost immediately. I know I Got saved They had the repeat save rule and Ours didn't have that.

That's good. You shouldn't. We discussed this at basketball yesterday because we were Stans and Poinker over there who have both been on it

and we realized that I am the losing most losing Master Baker player of all time. Yeah. Dude, what's funny is if you ask Stans

about Master Baker he'll be like he was rigged against me. He said that almost immediately. What? He said, quote, I still believe to this day that I'm the best baker that has ever graced the presence of that show. And he'll always say it was a stolen victory.

What? He's clearly still sore about it. Stans is like me. He thinks he didn't have the clout to make it through, but he had the cooking where to. I think that's the difference between me and Stans, because we will both sit there and be like, I could be the best at that,

and probably I actually really am right now. But if I'm met with failure, I just say, oh, gee, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. But Stans will just continue to say that. He believes it. Which is crazy. He believes it with his heart. Speaking of rigged against you,

so me and Pete Shars on the last day, we were a team. Because I got out of the show, but then I became a sous chef to the last person. And we were on a team. And we have a cake that I think is pretty fucking legit. It's like a three-tier cake. We made it in three tiers.

It's all sitting on top of each other. We did all the rules basically correctly. And then you were allowed to sub cutie in for five minutes oh yeah get her help and we were at the icing stage we're like that's a perfect time to have her do it because we will fuck this up so we sub cutie and she wants one of those like lazy susan things they're called something else in baking but i don't know what it's called she wants those lazy susan things you can like turn it while doing it and so we go get one for her and then she goes to transfer our cake from like the plate that's onto the thing.

And it just goes in the process. And it falls over. And I'm like. The master chef fucked it up? The master chef kind of trolled us. Dude, that's fucked up. The master chef kind of. And then she starts shit talking us. She's like, well, you shouldn't have used whipped cream.

Oh, it's your fault. Well, the cake shouldn't have collapsed. What a terrible monster. I'm being victim blamed. If the towers were built better. They wouldn't have collapsed Shouldn't have this big of an impact Tower designer here So so then she starts going into like well this happens all the time So you just need to put your little floor in the parts that suck and I'm like putting Barbie

We had like a strip club those are things that I was putting Barbie in front of all the fucked parts. And then when it came to judge our cake, she's like, alright, no one judged the lean. No, my God. Ignore the lean. And I'm like... And you're like, I'm Gucci Mane. Please, I can't do that. Ignore the gross, disgusting lean. It almost looks caved in.

Like a skull. But that wasn't why we lost. It tasted worse, right? No, it tasted better. It tasted better. But that wasn't why we lost. It tasted worse, right? No, it tasted better. It tasted better. But theirs was more accurate to the, what's it called? The prompt. I do feel like- They had to make three flavors of cake, and we kind of, we thought we had an hour, so

we were like, oh, we'll just do three vanilla cakes, but one will be Oreo, and one will be Funfetti, and one will be strawberry. But she classified it correctly as like, this is just vanilla cake you just put three items and that's how I won against squeaks that goddamned bald asshole Mm-hmm is because I followed the rules yeah, and he tried to he tried to skirt away from them, and then he wore a skirt Later that day, and then he went skirt when he left. I guess that's the first skirt It's always a cake finale, right? You had a cake finale, you had a cake finale, you had a cake finale. Yep.

I feel like next season of Master Baker, I'm supposed to be me. I'm just grinding cakes. So that's fucked up. Part of being a Master Baker. You can't be like me. What do you mean? You can't be like me. What does that mean in this circumstance?

Just a loser. With nothing to live for. You show up every day. You know You can't be like me. What does that mean in this circumstance? Just a loser. You have nothing to live for. You show up every day. You know you can't do shit. I can't do it like you. It hurts. It hurts to look them in the eyes and have them all insult you for the third day in a row. We should do Master Baker and it's weed and it's all edibles and you have to eat your own supply.

Oh, God. You have to make it too? You have to make it and then eat it. And then you have to eat your own supply. Oh, God. You have to make it, too? You have to make it and then eat it. And then you have to, like, do an SAT test or something. Yeah, the 420 edition. Yeah. I'm sending some of these zippers. Dude, I did the Elden Ring stream.

Yeah, dude, holy moly. You were live for 60 hours. 60 hours, yeah, it took a while. Beat it, beat Millennia, crushed the game. But Saturdayurday we were doing a wheel spin every 10 deaths and it started 10 45 first wheel spin was ludwig 420 and i took an edible and then like an hour later it was like do a shoey and then an hour later it was like take a bite of a raw onion oh my god an hour later it was take a take a bite of a raw onion. Oh, my God. An hour later, it was take a zin.

You were interactive, buddy. My body was – I've never felt so bad. I felt horrible, man. Yeah? Melania's just beating your ass. He didn't even do it. No, I didn't. You did Melania?

Yeah. They beat the game, right? I beat Melania and the game. Optional boss. Oh, it's optional? Yeah, she's the optional I thought you didn't do it I did it

I thought cause you were Trying to finish up Before Sunday But I'm proud of you Maybe you weren't Maybe you wasn't And I did an alternate storyline Is um

Are the bosses harder When you do co-op? They're double health Yeah I figured Yeah they're definitely harder Some are easier Just cause you can stagger chain But

Do they attack differently? No So that's why I can be easier But some bosses are just like fucking big monoliths, and they don't care that there are two people hitting them because they just swipe everything Was squeaks your first choice for this adventure in your mind would you rather have had jinxie? No, it was my first choice The only other person I thought about But never asked Was Jerma

Oh really Oh my god He doesn't have the stamina I don't Yeah I think it would be Very tough to ask Jerma To stream 60 hours He'd run out of balls

Straight And he's also done it already too Yeah So yeah it was just Squeaks Do you think he'd run out of balls I don't think He would run out of balls You know what I kept saying

All weekend Sucked him down to the bone. Oh my God, all he does. All weekend. All he does, dude! Maybe it's just because I love you. I miss you. But you don't say that.

Instead, you steal my culture. You steal my culture. I do reappropriate. And you commercialize it because you're white. You commercialize it against a POC. The white slime of YouTube. Yeah. Usians out here fucking you so you said that a lot so i can't say it anymore because now because now big walmart is

saying suck it down to the bone for these rollback prices now some kid in a fucking mizkif hoodie is gonna come to me and say suck it off the bone suck it off the bone i'm gonna be like like okay where'd you learn? You didn't learn that from your best friend. Learned that from Papa. You learned that from Ludwig Ogren YouTube short. So, I've been saying suck it off the bone a lot. So I've been sucking it down the bone recently.

And it's actually referring to eating sm- I've been sucking it down the bone. He's short-circuited. This piece came off the thing and it's blowing me away. I can't fucking do it. This piece came off the thing and it's blowing me away. I can't fucking do it. Shit. I don't know. It's fine, Zipper.

Zipper's freaking out. Everything's okay. You were locked in your cell playing Elden Ring and then all of us on Saturday night, separately, went to concerts. Me and Nick went to a concert. Me and Nick went to a concert. It's kind of a concert. And then Slime and Shake went to a concert.

I saw you with shake dude You're too mean to shake dude. No Dude that video is so nice No I'm not Let me tell you why shake is the architect of my own fucking nightmares every day of my fucking life No Dumb piece of shit No way

How can you shift this to shake He's the architect of my nightmares because he said dude I love I love Foo Fighters. And then from then on... No, no, no, no. Listen, listen, you goddamned asshole idiots. So Shake, Shake likes the band Tool. And I'm like, oh, he's checking out a perfect circle. It's like his other band from way back. And he's like, dude, I never heard this before.

And in my mind, I'm like, you should have fucking heard it. You should have heard it. Right? So that's strike one. This is strike one of him tormenting you. That's insane. Shut up. There's so many strikes.

That's insane. Go ahead. We're starting from the Watch tormenting you. That's insane! Shut up! There's so many strikes! That's insane! No, no, no. We're starting from the watch- We're starting from the watch mojo 10. They're gonna get better. Sorry if you wanna skip ahead, but you don't have YouTube Premium. Quick judge aside, that's insane. It is insane.

What the fuck is this shit? We're talking, we're talking. That's insane. I've realized this is progressively more insane over time, because when we first- when I first moved in with you guys, Slime would roast me for not having heard certain music artists. And then I've realized, as we've just spent a lot more time together, that you don't know so many music artists. Me?

Yes. I'm allowed to talk now. So many. What the fuck is this? It's true. Oh my god, I didn't know that. As soon as poor Jake doesn't know one guy. That Slime knows.

That Slime knows. Anyone who's listening right now knows it's fucking different and they know they're on my side. Right. I feel like Slime. Oh god, I would love to see you play Bandle every day because there's going to be a song that comes up you don't know. Yeah, I never listened to a Lorde song. And then you're going to be like, who gives a fuck about Elton John? I told you, I'll hold it.

Maybe you didn't need it. You said you didn't need it. This has never happened. Look at what you guys did. Look at what your annoying bullshit did. I'll hold it. We've done like 150 episodes. It's just never happened. It's finally time.

Sometimes it does die. My headphones died this weekend. Is that still sound good, Zipper? Okay. Zipper's so upset. I'll just hold it like I'm doing a stand-up. All right, sorry. Continue.

Slime's bit is getting... It's not a bit. Fuck. God damn it. Go ahead. E-shit. Slime's bit is roasting you ruthlessly for a lack of cultural understanding in the form of, oh, you haven't seen a movie, you haven't listened to a band, you didn't know that someone's

banned, they also had another band that is their better stuff or whatever this is everything, but he also I'd say most often of anyone on this show Says what is that? Yes piece of cultural media is brought up and has never heard it Concluding that he only cares when it's something he likes No when it's something he likes. Everyone's like that! No, there's things that we bring up all the time that I don't even like, that I'm just like, no, you haven't heard of that? Well, here's what it is. You know what the real uninteresting truth is? Is that I'm actually much more reasonable when the fucking

cameras aren't rolling. It's not true. No, because- It's just not true. It's not true. I'm excited about the shake thing because I told him, I was like, oh, you should check this out. He's like, this is really good. I'm like, I know. Right? In my head, I'm kind of like, oh, you should check this out. He's like, this is really good. I'm like, I know. In my head, I'm kind of like, you should know about this. To be clear, we are talking about your inner dialogue,

not what you said to Shake. We think that you having the thought. Also your outer dialogue. I care more about just sharing something with Shake because he's actually my friend than I do about... There is this perception that I'm a ruthless monster. I make fun of Aiden because when he said the social network was his favorite movie that was an egregious thing to say right so it's

like that's different shake is already plugged in yeah it is insane to say it i agree so you know and that's where i was and so it made everything he said later everything he said later and you can't really believe it it's like I just can't oh In a way the social network of music he's like he's like what's it even me? He's like new Jimmy's my favorite rapper and from there. You're like well. Why am I supposed to even like where do I start? All right, sorry, and so there's you're right. I can be very intolerant, but it's only against certain people only against certain people who I... What?

I'm only intolerant against like certain broad, generalized groups of people. It's bisexuals. I'm intolerant against certain buckets. Certain buckets. That's the fuck-ass Bob Waterfountain. I'm not defending how annoying

I can be sometimes, but I'm trying to explain that I'm a bit more nuanced. You used to call me a psychopath cuz I didn't know the music you know You don't know any music you listen to marching music like Dexter You listen to band symphonies all it was classical music Yeah, cuz that's normal you would read Elon Musk autobiographies listed classical music I read many biographies Dude, you would be a crypto red pillar if that was you back then. It was on an autobiography.

Oh, I'm sorry. And I would have been so rich. Yeah, you would be. I would have been. You'd be so. If I was a crypto red pillar back then. You'd actually be more rich. God, look at the price of Bitcoin in 2018.

Yeah, you'd be really happy. God, that'd be sick. All right, so you and Shake walk into a bar. So me and Shake walk into a bar and it's fucking it hits our forehead and okay so so he messaged me later on and he's like yo a perfect circle is playing uh the hollywood bowl do you want to go i'm like yeah sure i didn't even think about it and we go and uh so but it's the hollywood bowl i've never been there it's this giant venue it's in fucking hollywood it's a bowl it's as advertised on the

but i was like should we drive should we uber because it was primus pussifer holy fuck a perfect circle holy fuck we don't really care about primus i was like i'm down to skip smelled like shit in there it smelled fine it was it is an outdoor venue i will say it was like the super bowl for 45 year olds yeah dude um but so a couple South Park fans. But Pussifer is also the guy who's in Tool and Perfect Circle. It's his other band. He's like three bands. So it's like this kind of weird thing of a show.

Anyway, I'm like, we can skip. When do you want to go? He says this time. I'm like, OK, should I drive? Should we Uber? He's like, we can drive. I've been there before. The parking's not bad.

So I'm like fine zippers that's it that is an insane thing to say parking's insane that's an insane thing i've never been there i'm trusting shake drizzle now you're starting to understand how he's the architect my anger has risen to untold levels for you thank you so much i'm a little bit valid am i valid yeah thank you chat so i go we go and it's like the lots are full we haven't paid for a parking pass and they're sold out okay can't park in the hollywood bowl okay so we and we keep driving and we're driving farther and farther away from the venue we see signs outside hotel buildings that say event parking a hundred dollars

right i don't care because i got it like that you're right shake doesn't want to do he's like 100 bucks man he also has it like that he Shake doesn't want to do it. He's like, 100 bucks, man. He also has it like that. He also does have it like that. We're driving. We're driving. We finally found a lot a mile and a half away. Okay.

Actually a mile and a half. In the fucking car. Damn. Might have been 1.2. I might be exaggerating. It's uphill. Over a mile. It's over a mile.

It's uphill. Far park. Park. And we start walking. And we're walking. And we're walking. And guess what? We missed a lot walking and guess what we missed a lot of the show we missed a lot but it's fine because i'm with shag and he's my friend and i like him

and he's fine it's okay and we go there it was actually okay for the for the people who listen to these bands this is for you it was fucked up crazy so at the end of the show it's maynard james keenan's 60th birthday i sang happy birthday they sang it on stage no one around me sang the crowd was fucking dead it was kind of weird uh I thought that was weird so anyway he gets really mad at phones and he was like he actually like to put the phones away he's a he's a phone away guy because he's fucking 60 and he was like during a song he was singing he's like you better put that phone away i'm gonna kick you in the fucking skull he said to someone in the front i was like okay that's kind of cool uh but so he says he's like all right usually we let you guys uh record the last song of the night but we're actually gonna let you do two songs because we

picked up some strays along the way out comes danny carey from tool because he probably lives in la they haven't played live in a long time. They play two Tool songs. It's pretty fucking hype. It was really nice. But they played one that everyone loved, and then they played one off the new record, and everyone sat down. Oh my God, I would have killed myself.

Dude, it was just like, ah, this one. Oh, it was so funny. Okay, so that was cool. And then, the show was fine. The show was great me and shake had a good time and then we're walking back and this line for the bathroom is like gigantic we don't have to go to the bathroom but we're leaving and i had this funny idea that what if you had diarrhea and you like right that's it at a concert yeah

it's this giant concert there's like thousands people here but naturally what you're doing so naturally I start telling shake shake shake I have diarrhea at the at the pussy first show I have it I have diarrhea you need to help me shake and he's like

dude please stop doing this and then like oh wait this is funny. So I pull my phone. Right. You start filming how he feels. You started this story with how Shake is a tormentor of you. He torments you. He tormented my life.

And then now I'm starting to ask him the real hard-hitting questions. Shake, I have diarrhea. You need to help me. And so I'm doing this bit. It was on Twitter. And then we finally, we we just walking like forever back but there's a shitload of people like we're in a giant like moving crowd and i also noticed that shakes shakes shoes are untied they're yelling at him about that it's basically just an all-out fucking fiesta of me screaming at shake

i'm like dude your fucking shoes are you're disgusting you're disgusting to me and everyone here the show has been ruined because of your shoelaces can you believe that a guy I shit you not he's like two people behind us he's like you ruined the show man dude

so come on dude oh it's so flippin'. Jake's just like, come on. Oh, it's so good. Poor Jake. No, not poor Jake. No, no, this is, this is, he's, Simon's totally absolved because he said that you'd find parking at Hollywood Mall.

It was fucked up. That's an insane thing to say. There's no parking there. There's, it did. I haven't been there. He's been there before. I went there and i've tried parking and i parked in a lot and they just they gridlock everyone so you have to wait for everyone in front

of you to get out before leaving prison i know it was actually nice to park away because you get out faster anyway so so he's like i'm starving i'm like i'm starving too let's get food he picks a place that you like apparently he's like let's. Takes me through the most rotten traffic of all time. Disgusting shit. What time is this? Bullshit. It's like 11 p.m. A place that I like?

It's a place that you like. All right. Is it an outburger? It's not an outburger. Do you know what it was called? It was Wood Ranch. No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't Wood Ranch.

So we're going. Sweet. He's just sweet. I don't want to say. And so we're going and we get there and he's like to close at 12, man It's fine, and it's like we're getting there like 11. It's like we're gonna be assholes. He's like no, I'll be fine It's 1130. We're still out there. I'm like dude shake your fuck. I'm starving shake I'm gonna cut you just go to In-N-Out

Concert midnight you just go in every time you show up. Yeah, we literally pull into the parking lot. Some kid comes out, he's like, we're not open. We're closing right now. I'm like, Jake, you fucked me again. You fucked me wrong and you fucked me wrong. You gotta know the closed kitchen 30 minutes before closing time. But I said, Jake, you decide where to go and I will drive us because I'm driving the car. I'm doing all the work.

I'm doing all the work in this relationship. I'm doing tricks on your fucking tiny shit. I'm spinning around. I'm spinning around. I'm spinning around. He's nutting his little head off. Gross. Giving his best fucking friend a cream pie. He gave me a cream pie.

Best friend. God, so visceral. I know. I'm talking about jizz. Dude. You had diarrhea, so that's disgusting. So I'm like, alright. And I've been trying to eat really good.

I'm trying to like... And he's like, Dave's is open. And I'm like, Dave's hot chicken, bro. It's only fried chicken. A stinky L.A. Dave's. A stinky L.A. Dave's, bro. Oh, it's that time of night. And he takes me to Dave's.

I'm not gonna say no, because I'm starving. Just go schmooze. And he's fucked me all night. Oh my god. Just fucking bent me over and gave me diarrhea also somehow at the Puss in Frisbee show. Right. And so, and we get Dave's and I eat about 17 pieces of chicken. I feel like it's not Jake's fault.

You had to have heartburn that night. Yeah I did and I go home and I just wanna die. But that was, it was fun. I like Jake dude Go to in and out. It's always in it. It's a fucking line of your life Everyone's fucking lazy in their cars just part Faster I just wait in the fucking line. I don't care. I guess you're fine Dutchman onion style. That's a we all Onion style. Yeah, you get there They serve it on two

grilled onions. Oh, dude, it's fucked. You look up Flying Dutchman onion style. I think when they gave you the raw onion to eat on stream you were like a little excited. Yeah, but it didn't feel good.

It's spicy, huh? It's very spicy and it sits in my stomach. It's like getting raw garlic. Raw garlic's spicy for your bones. It hurts. It hurts.

Did you guys know you guys know Shake Drizzle the Ludwig's editor, right? Yeah. You guys heard of him? Yeah. He used to be 900 pounds.

900 pounds? Isn't that crazy? That's pretty large. NASA was studying him. Yeah, because he had a gravitational pull. Yeah, there was this weird thing he was doing to the earth. Oh my god! When I was in middle school, I used to say, yo mama's so fat, she looks like Shake Drizzle.

And no one knew who that was yet. But soon, that was going to be a really good joke. And fat shaming, guys, is only okay if you're really good friends with a person. So in this case, it's not okay. Shake Drizzle's here! The guy who used to be fat started in the whale.

And then I fucking was eating like shit every day, doing daily uploads for Ludwig for your straight. And then one day I got something called factor because something called the yard Do I didn't get a dick fuck I got like the regular discount code But I didn't get like a homie hookup I ate that shit for like a year and I liked it and I lost like 35 pounds cuz those rock climbing to look at this Look at that. 35 pounds.

This is a testimonial. This is a testimonial. Yeah, we shouldn't even say shit. And you're working out a bunch. We, dare I say, we used to go six days a week. Keto, Calorie Smart, Vegan, and Veggie Protein Test Meals. Protein Plus with 30 grams of protein or more for serving. That's right.

You get 35 meal choices. You ate Factor for a long time. And then it actually put me onto it. And then we advertised it me onto it and then we advertised it and it was cool so it's actually i think a pretty cool sponsor because we we keep doing it and it tastes good and they got all these little side add-ons that are nice i like the little the uh what's it called like the yellow guys i like those those are delicious uh it's factormeals.com so you can use this now shake if you like the factor meals that come slash the

yard so much of it the yard 50 use code the yard 50 off plus 20 off the next box in your subscription the box just keeps coming with factor that's right factor meals.com slash the yard 50 america's number one ready to eat meal cake for jake grizzle now let's uh let's bring ludwig back shake goodbye bye where did you guys go what yeah what concert are you we we went to watch we watched the movie birdman at a theater but the guy who composed the movie the jazz drummer uh did the drums for the whole movie live and then did a performance they removed the score and played the score live yeah that's the whole score just the drums the whole score is the whole story oh um and he's a jazz,

he's like a jazz improviser. So he like re-improvises the whole movie every time he does it. It was extremely cool. It was cool? It was incredible. He was also ripped and hot.

Did he fucking, did Aiden fuck you raw? Did you get fucking cream-pied? Any diarrhea? Bjorksen might have. How was parking? Great. Right up front. Yeah, you just park right there, actually. How was parking? Great. Right up front.

Yeah, you just park right there, actually. You walk about 30 seconds. Imagine that. Did Bjergsen come his little head off or something? Nobody came

their little head off. Why did you, he looked at you and you gave like a coy smile. We did meet two yard fans there. Yeah, it was a place

I did not expect to meet. It was really funny because this guy comes up. He's dressed very cool, very stylish. Extremely. He offers us to smoke weed. Okay.

And he walks away. And then I think it was maybe Andrew or Bjergsen. Someone was like, is that what yard fans look like? I was like, no. And we were like, he's wearing full Rick. Full Rick, full all-stars. He was the most polite, stylish guy. He was like, would you care to smoke half a joint with me?

And I was like, no thank you. His name, Jaden Smith. Yeah, it was a good time. He's like would would you care to smoke half a joint with me? Jaden Smith Why is Josh harassing you? Wait, I actually have a great video. I can show you what's going on Zipper if you could please pull up roll the tape roll the tape. Roll the tape. Wow, he got emotional real fast. Why are you so mad? There's no way out. I didn't think about the exit clause. This is the rest of my life.

If I can't win. This is my reason to get better at melee now. I don't understand. Yeah, one zipper pulls it up, but basically... Okay. Play the tape. One more for the... Oh, Pudding Pop!

C-c-c-coming soon! Okay, so you've lost some sort of bet that you have to say that. This is a line from the... Aristocats or something? I don't know. It honestly doesn't... I don't know.

It could be anything. Josh is really good at doing a thing where he makes you play video games against him for some sort of nebulous, like arbitrary stakes that mean more than any amount of money. One time he just came into the house. I think I said this and he's like, beat my jigglypuff, win a prize. Beat my jigglypuff, win a prize. And it's all he said. He said it like 20 times.

And finally to shut him up, I attempted to beat his jigglypuff and win a prize. It took me like 20 something tries. Very hard. And I did it. So I got my prize. He didn't have a prize? I told him this. That's fucked up. I remembered after this Aiden thing. And then another time, he's like, okay, if I beat you with my Pichu, you have

to say every, you have to put the word tubby in every sentence. So like, I'm tubby tired. sentence so like i'm tubby tired or like i'm tubby hungry or like that was like xenon yeah so uh aiden what happened we were we were hanging out we we went to go get breakfast we were talking josh is getting some documents and things and we're going over some matches and like mental preparation for for just competing in general and uh he's saying a bunch of like nice positive like things to me and giving me a lot of constructive feedback so i'm feeling really good we go back we go back to your house and we we cross you're having all this

renovation work done so we're like walking by these like two dudes fixing your home with like video game controllers we're gonna go shut the door and play video games and then josh we we sit down to play for a bit josh gives me a new controller to try and we're going back and forth chic marth it's going pretty good it's like it's like i'm winning maybe half the games and and then we were also talking about how stakes in matches outside a tournament don't feel like real or adequate enough for practice. So he suggests that we do a different type of bet where if he wins, anytime he says the phrase Puddin' Pop, I have to say, C-C-Coming, sir. Like that.

Anytime. That is miserable. pop i have to say coming sir like that anytime and we sit down and we play marth chic and i get three out and i lose so quickly and i'm so sad and then he immediately starts ripping it and after losing the match i realized there was no time frame for this bet there's no exit clause it doesn't end until we establish a new set of terms over a new match to set me free yeah and he gets to use this as much as he wants and then also i had forgotten that that evening i was running the league that i've been running that josh is going to be at and i have to t.o and be around him all evening. And so I'm in a small enclosed space with Josh trying to run the tournament. And at any given point, he just lets, oh, Puddin' Pop rip from the corner of the room.

And then I just have to say it. And he says it over and over and over. And people are looking at me like I'm insane because I have to keep saying, C-C-Coming, sir! In that fucking cadence and accent and then I have to like my only option is to literally run away from it until I'm

out of earshot I have to be at a distance where I cannot hear it so that I can safely comply with the bet and that is where I'm at right now living in fear of Josh because he can say it at any time in any public space and I have to comply. What would you have won?

I don't even remember. That's what he does. He just challenges you. You're like, well, I could beat. What you win is that you got to beat Josh and you realize you hurt his ego. Yeah. You want that. It is big. You want to be like, you're not as good as you think you are.

Josh is Marth that took a tournament over soon, say last year. And I get to have that. You would have got that. He's a little trickster, huh? He of course is a trickster. Let me ask you this. Do you think he was sandbagging when you guys were playing friendlies? Uh, no. No. I think I got nervous because the first

game was close and I choked and then I collapsed. So it was good reps. It was. It did provide the necessary stakes. Yeah, next time you play cliche Just remember that remember he can do this cliche says open pop. Yeah, it sounds Up until the bet like he was making a move like you sit down. He's like, yeah, so we actually need stakes for it's like

Really good It really does seem like that. The whole morning gassing me up, giving me confidence. You're actually really good. Oh, wow, you're winning half the game. That's what I'm saying. The night before at Verdugo, I had gone game five with West Balls, and I fuck up the fifth game, and I'm like, we're going over that. And he's talking to me, he's like, you're getting better, man. You just got to clutch up in this situation and do this. It's like, but it's looking really good. He's just in his mind. I just got glazed for an hour and a half

Josh has been spending years Trying to convince people he's no longer evil And he's actually At an all time high of evil I think Yes thank you I think that he is the worst he's ever been The worst This is the thing This is what i do to you guys

maybe he on the setup it's more insidious than it used to be that's what i'm saying i think it goes before he just had baby rage yes and it's like that's that's unfun to be around but now he's trying to get into your psyche he's trying to change the rest of your life he'd hit you with general australian harassment and you just have to deal with the bombardment of phrases and comments about your play. Yeah, that's what Caitlyn does. Now it's like symbiote. Caitlyn's like an orc grunt. He's like the default unit that comes out of the barracks.

And it's like, yeah, it's a solid unit. But Josh is like the fucking priest with all the spells. He can mind control you. I learned that if you don't play his game, he can't take it. He freaks out. If you don't play his game? And he acts like he doesn't care, but he cares. He really cares if you don't play his whole game.

He's like, what, you don't want to hang out with me? And I'm like, no, Josh, I don't. But what if he hangs up the setup? Then he just takes the ball and goes home, right? But he can't take it. He's going to think of another game. He's gonna. Hope I play that one. I'll never play I'll never play Josh man. You refuse to play his games. I used to play his games You don't like to play his games anymore. No what I do like playing his games, but I like not playing them more Well it means that now I'm playing because you're winning the game that you're playing I'm waiting a metagame

That means that now I'm playing the game. Because you're winning the game that you're playing. I'm winning the metagame of that outside game, which is to... His game is control. Take away Josh's power. It's Charlie McDaniels, the game of games. So what? Is anything... Are you okay, man?

You look dejected. I am. Are you thinking about your jacket just flapping in the wind? Just flapping in the wind, my beautiful jacket. I'll never have again. They're driving a getaway car wearing the jackets and laughing.

They're on a... There's... It's a guy and his dog in the side car. And they're both wearing aviation goggles. He's gonna get pulled over. He's gonna get pulled over

and then the officer's gonna see him in the Red Bull jacket and he's gonna be like, Sir? Do you have credentials for that? Sir, can I see a Red Bull license?

Sir, can you produce your contract? Am I even allowed to touch it no unless you show me your player card yeah you don't have it are those capris are you just that tall uh they're capris i guess i don't know they go to like this you should shave only that part of your leg only this part yeah yeah i want it maybe i can shave one leg ludwig i want it i guess i'm kind of cricket do you can i ask you something yeah do you feel happy about the elden ring stream

in what way not what i asked you man do i feel happy about the elden ring stream yeah yeah you like it yeah it was a fun time yeah it was fun it was good is i like streaming for long hours i just felt horrible yeah on saturday why do you subject yourself do you feel guilty that you don't stream as much so you have to pack it into 60 hours straight with a bald man no no i don't care about that it's just a better video oh i don't think playing elden Ring over the course of like 40 hours for a week is as good and then like normal streaming yeah like if I just stream it normally you know what Shake said because Shake was like we're going to this show he's like he's pulling up his phone he's like he's still playing fucking Elden Ring because Shake's on that edit he's like I'm probably

on the edit and he was talking to me about the last time you did this when Elden Ring came out because you did it like 50 hours straight and he's like he's like there were parts of it like Fire Giant he got so mad it was genuinely uncomfortable so I cut it out of the video and he's like people to this day still comment why is Fire Giant not in the video he's like it's one of my greatest regrets but I don't sorry yeah he's like I still get shit for it but I don't regret it because Ludwig was so mad. I don't even remember it. I just had a rage. That's so Ludwig.

Also, Fire Giant, probably one of the easiest bosses. I'm not kidding. So I don't know what was happening. Yes. I'm sorry. Goat, I'm sorry. They're wrong because he doesn't have bleed. Queen.

Queen, period. You could still beat him without the bleed. I beat him on the broken patch with Rivers of Blood, and I didn't use bleed, and it was a two-shot. It shakes it to one shot. I'm just saying, you must have been in a state. I was. Sometimes I enter a fugue state. You weren't you. You weren't hurt, so you couldn't

hurt. He wasn't a Red Bull athlete back then. True. I got mad this time, too. Yeah? You fucked the vibes up? I don't get mad, I get even. I don't think that's the issue is that things get even with his computer character

and they don't give a shit uh yeah I got mad I got mad a couple times what was the high point and the low point the high point like the best

beating the fucking game yeah now that being done not millennia just the game no yeah the sweet release of the game

I didn't care about millennia. Since you revisited it, how long do you think it would take me to beat it? Oh, dude. Dude. If I put you in a room and I said, beat this game, can you look stuff up? If you can't look stuff up, honest to God, I think you

don't beat it. I think you quit. No. I think it would take him a raw, like, four months. I think you quit. No. I think it would take him a raw like four months. That's what I'm saying. Eight hours a day. It's just so long that he couldn't do it. I do not reject that condition. Sure, okay.

Like he has to finish it. Yeah, if he has to finish it. He has a big chain and a ball. I would get so frustrated. You would not be able to beat it, I don't think. I think he might just fucking kill himself in that room. He might find a corner of a metal bed frame. Set myself free.

There's two ways out of this room, and one of them is beating Elden Ring. Or you come out just an absolute fucking god in like two months. Yeah, and then you're like, where's Breath of the Wild? Let's do this shit. Send me back in. Send me back in. That's what I kept thinking, because you guys were talking about this a couple months ago. And then watching you do it, I was like, maybe I could.

But you should play Elder Raids. It's a fucking generational game, man. It is a generational game. Or play Dark Souls 1. I don't know. I don't care. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Maybe me and Aiden will play it together. That'd be so fun. Oh my god. What if we played Halo instead? Why? I would. It sounds fun, but I've done it so many times. I'd beat Halo so many times.

Did you see the Taylor Swift lyric? It was like, touch me while your boys play Grand Theft Auto. No. Yeah. Is that real? This is what you're missing. That's a bar. That's a real?

It's people taking lyrics and being like, dude. That's a real line? Yeah, that's a real fucking lyric. That's a real real fucking bar Well because the bar she was she she's 30 the visual is she On a couch that's like the I think that's the idea that's great. Is it like this is recent No, you know your finger basil playing grandfather I don't know! Is Taylor Swift going? Nobody here finger bangs while playing Grand Theft Auto? Puma Mug stuff. Puma Mug says have it finger danged.

You never finger bang a freaking chick when you're playing Grand Theft Auto. A fucking hot ass chicken. You invite Taylor Swift over and it's like, yeah we're just gonna chill on the couch and play Grand Theft Auto. And she's like, okay. And they all hang out. And in her mind she's like, I hope I get fucking finger blasted today. How does she fit that in with like flying everywhere all the time? Oh, because she rhymed Aristotle with Grand Theft Auto.

That's a bar. Could you just bring it up, Zipper? It's very easy to find. Can we just Taylor Swift the five fingers of death? She'd do well. Good sway in the morning. Taylor Swift covering system of a downs cover of shame

by Wooten truth or dare spin bottles you know how to ball I know Aristotle brand new full throttle touch me while your bro

is Blake Grand Theft Auto this has been 9 News at 11 thank you you said you said like like uh Trisha Takenawa

yeah that's crazy is that crazy that's crazy that's a bar man she knows Aristotle You're sad like Trisha Takenawa. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. That's a bar, man. She knows Aristotle. Yeah.

But at the end of the day, while Trevor is burning down a village of weed population, she's still... I think it's like Slime could say this to the children in basketball he played. Like, hey, yeah, maybe you know how to ball, but I know Aristotle and many other great writers. It is. When you are getting, how do I put this? Diced? Finger blasted. When you're getting finger blasted on the couch.

When kids are doing well against you in sports and you're a grown-ass adult man, you start clawing at anything you can to feel better about that. Right. Uh-huh. And you know what? Right. Ban for ban. With the kids?

What was his name? Nick? The little kid? Yeah, Nick. Nick. Ban for ban, Nick. Ban for ban. Can he use his parents' money?

Sure. I think he clears. He might clear you. He might clear, but he might not. And how fucked would that be? That kid's got prescription goggles. His parents are well off. It's California.

What does that mean? There's a state program for that. That's all I'm saying. There's a state program for that. Yeah, man. You can get fucking glasses for your kid from the state. Oh, no, but only one every two years. Trust me, I know.

He probably has a regular pair. Why would I pay for those? They're probably like 350 bucks ray bands yeah dude parents like fuck it not to say that i was you know beaten or anything or not but do you think that we could write a taylor swift song and then show it to cutie and have her not know these ones absolutely not you you couldn't know because she would know if you give us a you give it no no no it would be like we would convince her and we this part is a given we convince her a new song has come out sure and we give her the lyrics before she hears it and she goes oh a new

song came out she believes that part just we leak it to taylor like leaks.org yes we get we govern in over at taylor leaks uh dot ru yeah we have we have we have have something. We have blackmail against the tailors. And we get one year to craft the song. I feel like we need to do this in a week. I need to do this in an hour. And you can convince her? 100%. Yes. After this shit?

Given what? We get no information. We don't get to study the lore. We just get to see other songs and write one. I'm saying it would be the easiest thing in the world. They're not complicated. Like, it's... Cutie would beg to differ.

Cutie would say that each word is a piece of a large puzzle. I don't think she would say that. Well, I think she would. I think I know her better. I'm damn sure she would. We have baked with your girlfriend, which you've never done. You've never helped her in the kitchen or done baking with her at all.

You've never baked with her on a show. We actually all three have. All you guys do is eat Erewhon hot bar. All I know is that of this group, she is the one who always is smarter, more perceptive, and figures shit out. Because I've done so many fucking bring your country asses down to my stream room lair,

and you gotta figure out which one's more expensive, more cheap. She always knows. Dude, like in five seconds really she she just knows yeah because she knows every word is like a puzzle i think women just sniff bs better and i think if you try to bs a bs or you get bs yourselves you think she's a bs-er you heard it here first folks on the yard podcast ludwig thinks cutie cinderella is a bs-er wow she can sniff out bs- Cutie Cinderella is a BS-er. Wow. She can sniff out BS-ers.

Is she a BS-er herself? No, that's just a line from Role Models. I know. A baker shorty. Is that, that's your little BS-er? She's my little baker shorty, yeah. Your little BS-er. She's my little baker shorty.

I don't know, I think I could do this. I think I could write a Taylor Swift song. Dude, we could do this in, I'm not kidding, 15 minutes out there next to Otto while he practices Reina. We were listening to Sublime. You're probably with like the one. Yeah, okay. To Cutie's credit, when she talked about it with me,

it was really funny because she was like, some of these feel like fucking chat GPT and she was like, she was giving an honest criticism of this thing she loves extremely. She wasn't nice about it on stream. There was a part where she was talking about a song, and every song, I guess, produced by Jack Antonoff, she was not a fan of.

That's the first CD, but then the second one came out and made it better. And all these Swifties are like, because they're so obsessed, they're getting to understand the relationship between a producer and a musician as a way to either justify or nullify their feelings which is really funny because like i've barely ever thought about producing uh you know in the bands

i like i was like oh that guy produced that's kind of cool mustard on the beat mustard on the beat red one it's not red wine gaga right and then you know which one fucked me up? Does anyone here know Pharrell's producer tag? Can you imagine it? Wait, was it... It's not skateboard P. Is it? No. Is it nerd or is it nerd?

Is it... Oh, Titty Boy. No, no, no, no, I know it. The tag is the part of the song that makes you know Pharrell produced this. Oh. It's not Nanu. Not his name. It's not Nanu. I don't know. It's just any song that has

the four beats in the beginning. So think about... That's how he writes them. Drop it like a tot. He goes... Really? Every Pharrell song has that. Bring up the Pharrell producer tag video. It's crazy. Tyler got shit for this in Cherry Bomb

because people were like, you don't know how to write an intro. Neither does Pharrell, and you're biting Pharrell's shit. I remember this exactly. In Death Camp, it's the same thing. And in, what's the, is it Happy? What is it? I know which one you're talking about.

So yeah, it's a thing. That's a way cooler tag than DJ Must one you're talking about so yeah it's uh it's a thing that's a way cooler tag than dj mustard on the beat no it's not mustard on the beat's fire mustard on the beat's cool because you can say it to your producer tag be uh get forward it's all in the beginnings, right? Yeah. Those four beats? Wow. Pharrell has gotten shit from four.

He's gotten shit from music reviewers to say that he just literally can't write intros. Wait, why? Because he just uses four beats and you get into the song. Oh. It's just crazy. The second half, there's a lot more songs that everyone in the world would know. And it's kind of crazy. Wait, why? Because he just uses four beats and you get into the song. Is this crazy? The second half, there's a lot more songs that everyone in the world would know. And it's kind of crazy. I'm like, whoa.

Yeah, that's cool. I didn't even know. What would your producer tag be, Ludwig? It's Ludwig time. Red Bull Athletes presence. I fucked up. I fucked up. That's fire.

I fucked up. That's fire. Say it real clear. I do ten takes every time. Say it real clear, cause someone out there will use it. I fucked up. You just find this stabbing video. Metro! I fucked up. This isn't a tag, I'm in real danger!

Maybe Jack Atchoff's just too busy with bleachers or whatever that... The band he's in. Oh, I don't know. I don't know shit about damn shit or butt. All I know is I was a fucking hero because Cutie's headphones didn't work. She was freaking out. She did a blood-curdling scream. I'm in a Valorant game.

It's two to three. Jesus. AM? Oh, no, score. Yeah, score. I pull up her stream. She's like, my fucking headphones don't fucking work. This setup's too fucking complicated.

I fucking hate it. And then I'm like, the hero emerges. Shut up. And I look around. I only have one pair of headphones. It's my Apple fucking shitty earbuds. I give them to her. I walk upstairs and give it to her. I go downstairs and play a silent game

of Valorant. That's love. I frag the fuck out. Yo, you win the game? Don't need the sound because I feel the sound. I win the game. I've learned a scent, KJ. I'm electric. Did you see someone rightfully roasting you for having the worst comms

known to a human being language in ears? No. Wait, you have bad comms now? I've never heard of this. I feel like you have these comms. It picked up. Oh, yeah, you fucking dumbass. You retweeted it. Of course I did. I love retweeting the truth.

I don't know. There were sources that were promoting it. People are talking about this. It's just circulating. I don't know how that of their sources that people are talking about circulating. And it's like finally someone sees the world through my frustrated eyes. OK, well, so Jake fucks me. You fuck me all the time.

This guy can't fuck me because I fuck ass haircut. I just wrap up. I'm a generational game. I played a generation. I went 17 and one. I just need that to be said. Generational. It's a generational game. I went 17 and one I just need that to be said 17 and one okay, yeah one I mean tested your teammates. I'm proud of you like

Normal amounts like seven sixes eights. Yeah, that's crazy. I Could they couldn't take you down they could not I was a fucking term and I was top frag you're juggernaut anyway Platinum gamer, please refer to me as such. You didn't have Diamond yet. Shut the fuck up. Plat's good enough for now. That's pretty far from Diamond though. I'm Plat.

Have you beat Elden Ring? Like. Yes. Do you know what's really hurtful by the way? What? I looked up the achievements for Elden Ring. 10% of people have 100% of it. That's so.

That's a lot. That's so many people. That's crazy. I know. And then I did this alternate ending Which I was like oh fuck I got the deep pit ending Was it the ranny ending? Yeah more people have done that than the regular ending

27% of people have done it That's actually crazy It's hard to get to because it's like you have to look it up You can't just bink the ranny ending Do you think more people who complete Elden Ring Are looking up exactly how to do it Than not? The 100%ers for sure any ending i think more people who complete elden ring are looking up exactly how to do it than not the hundred percenters for sure yeah but i think people who complete the game i think first

playthroughs there's a lot of people who are like let me do this honest and they just play through and whatever happens happens i think but the like anything after that it's like fair game i genuinely like getting to the fucking the albanuric village and getting the the lift medallion, the half. Yeah. I could not have figured that out myself. There's a lot of things. That's like fucked up. Getting, so the medallions. You have to do that. The medallions are just hidden in forts.

Yeah. And it's like, yeah, it's just in this fort. It's just in this fort arbitrarily and you've never heard of it ever. There's a guy named Commander Neil. You just got to kill him. Yeah. It's kind of fucked. He's a veteran amputee.

You got to take his peg leg. Or you have to hit this thing to reveal the invisible man in the village he's literally shapeshifted as like a barrel it sounds like you're making all this up yeah there is a guy that you have to hit and he's disguised as like a level one foot soldier and then he becomes a bear

and then you kill the bear and then you get it's fucked which is kind of sick cause it's like if you don't have a guide like- And Mario's in there? Yeah, Mario's in there. I've been- And if you go backwards on the stairs you go I've been learning- And you go through the thorn door. Mirage, Mirage A smokes from top mid So that's been kind of cool. You said that two episodes ago, which makes me think that you're not good at that yet. No that was Anubis. Wow.

Okay. My Nina is fucking cooking by the way. What's that? No, that was Anubis. Wow. Okay. Yeah, okay. My Nina is fucking cooking, by the way. What's that? Dude, he keeps walking. This is his new thing right now, is he walks in the office and then describes the new threatening way he's going to dismember Otto and Tekken. Have you played against Otto yet? The voice line, he hasn't played against him, and he just, I believe that you will win,

but this is, he's been doing this for weeks where he just comes in and it's like a new visceral way of Murdering Otto, but then he's like in Tekken I'm gonna fuckin hold him up by the ankles bro and shake all the stupid little code out of his fucking pockets bro Why are you- All of the last laptops and gadgets and gizmos you I'm gonna take him and run that shit Is it a lock for sure you beat him? 100% What rank are you all those little laptops and gadgets and gizmos I'm gonna take them and run that shit is it a lock for sure you beat them

100% what rank are you now with bear I'm still purple but I've been working on Nina is that Nina purple

no but okay but I could destroy Otto I think Otto is pretty fresh to tug with Nina I don't think so

with bear I don't match up very well with bear I could beat her okay she played Ash Arslan

come on man what Ash Arslan. Come on, man. What? Ash Arslan? Is that what it says on his driver's license? That's what it says on his attendance sheet at school. Ash comma Arslan. Lily played Arslan Ash, one of the greatest tech players of all time.

Yeah. Which is really, it's coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb. You don't think she got a level up from it? Oh, she probably did. She puts you down like a pup now. She doesn't put me down likerogen Bomb. You don't think she got a level up from it? Oh, she probably did. Puts you down like a pup now. She doesn't put me down like a pup. You know why?

Unfortunately, she's just a choker, man. She is a choker. She just freaks out. I've been new. And you've been new this. I watch a lot of Lily, and I see the way she processes pressure, like mental pressure when she's playing the game, and she just freaks out.

Folds like a damn napkin. She does. And when she works on that, she'll be unstoppable. But I don't think anyone's pushing her to be like, Lily, don't scream. Stop. Can you beat Josh yet? I haven't played Josh in a while. His character is kind of bunk, but I think it'd be close.

His character is fun. That's where your eyes need to be, not an auto. Oh, no. My Nina needs coins, bro. You clearly think beating Otto matters because he is smart outside of the game. You think that that makes it impressive? But you're alone in that world. The reason why I talk so much is because I think it'd mean Otto would be even with my Nina, which is fun.

Because I play a hard character that I'm not very used to and he's been playing rain a lot And that'd be fun, and I would love to just run it. Why don't you just run it? You could just run like hey. I don't have a controller here incredibly easy to just run okay? I don't make sure here. I need to get one. Yeah, it's a bigger skateshoes. I just gotta bring my shit Okay, flip a skateshirt that makes sense I Wear what about you? It's actually true. What about your footage? Don't ask me, Mama. What'd you say to me?

I've not played a... Tekken 8. What did I do? I've not played a minute of Tekken 8. I have not even tried it. Yeah. I told you a bunch to do it, but you'll never will because you don't like it and you don't like your friends and you hate...

I'm bad. I'm bad at fighting games, man. Yeah, you just fucking learn it. You're good at learning stupid stupid Video game And that's a you play that play right now. No, yeah, I walked in on him. I walked in on Cheeky rocket league every once in a while he's touching his nasty little rocket league man cheeky rocket league every once in a while but it's very infrequent it's at 2am

I have to find him I have to find him deep within the battles of our hearts I'm currently on the if a friend reaches out to me and says would you like to play

this game there is a 50-50 coin flips chance I say yes that's where I'm at was it geo? no no no play rock

he's dabbling a little rock. Is he retiring from gaming? Gio or Nick? Wait, now you can say, when I say it, it's a big fucking joke. Is Nick retiring from gaming? When you say it, it's like, what, it might be true? Yeah, because we don't trust your judgment on yourself.

We as observers are smarter than you. That's correct. I see, I see. He could retire from gaming. Okay, if Nick retires from gaming, what do we do? Here's how we bring him back is if we just become, I think, better than him at the games that he loves. I don't think that even matters.

I don't think that. It depends which game. He's such a fucker. It depends which game. He just likes always winning. And maybe sometimes just winning in his head. He's really good at when he loses, be like, I don't play this game, I guess.

That's what I'm saying, but there's some games that he feels passionate about. I don't think that's... And so, like, he lost a fake battle to Tyler1. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I got creamed, dude. He's 1,800. He creamed, he, like, shake creamed me.

I'd have to play so much to get up to 1,800. Yeah. So you're done, you quit, Tyler1 gaps you? Yeah, Tyler1 gaps me. Damn. You just can't keep up with a man who's playing 16 hours a day. I can't play that many games. Yeah, if you didn't have a job, would you be down?

He's taking contact maps with his baby and running it up to 2,000. What do you mean I don't have a job? If you didn't have a job, the only thing you had to do was show up for the yard. And I didn't want to do anything else? And you didn't want to do anything else. Yeah want to do anything else yeah yeah for sure I love playing video games yeah things are fun as well I like doing it he likes video games yeah let it let it be known this is Chiron on the bottom this is not like a video game Squidward

did you say this is breaking news? well I was more asking about like taking a run at Tyler's Elo um I'm 100 million percent sure I could do it. I think chess.com ELO and like real chess ELO are very different things. Because like I think if you just grind enough chess on that website, you will just go up in ELO. You'll win more than you lose slightly. It's like teppin. I think it's a little bit weird.

Like teppin. Deppin. I think it's a little bit weird. Like Deppin. And he plays, you know, when you play this, I feel like when you play the same opening that much versus other people who just play chess and play their opening, I think you're more likely to know more moves

of your opening repertoire than a random opponent. You think new Father Tyler 1's gimmick doesn't really deserve his rank or success? I think he deserves it as much as everyone else has it. Has deserved it. Including myself. Oh. You're trying as much as everyone else has it. Has deserved it. Including myself. Oh. You trying to bait him?

Incendiary. You trying to find a way to pull a bunch of new titles. I'm headstrong. I can't be baited at the moment. I'm very powerful

at the moment. Why at the moment? What happened? I just haven't played games in so long that I don't have any I have no sensitivity. Right.

Like if Josh is like oh I'd fuck you up in this thing I'm like yeah I don't know probably. Sure. Because I. Right. Like if Josh is like, oh, I'd fuck you up in this thing. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Probably. Sure. Because I believe you know what it is? It's the ego of the company tournament. It's solidified as a rock in my head because I was just like activate me. I'll win. And I activated

me and I won. And I'm like, now I just believe I'll do that forever so I don't have to. So for life you rest on that laurel. Yeah. So opposite of Tarek. Yes. What if Nick Allen gets nasty? I will never ever ever lose to Nick Allen.

Ever. But come on. Let's say he starts taking firsts at Trey the Trashman's tournament every week. Let's say he beats Azzle. Does he call me out? Yeah. And he gets on the mic. Nick Allen off the henny allen off the henny yeah

and he just beat asl and he's like yo and he takes the mic and he's holding like this and he's like yo what's up nv ssbm falco pussy i'm calling you i want you if if anyone and this includes tyler one who has a kid wants to tell me they're gonna beat me at a video game, yes, that will take me out of the chrysalis. We can get meds to do this today. That's true. That's fucking true. That doesn't count.

That doesn't count. It doesn't count? Well, I can do the top edge of the big guy thing? Is that really good to me? I can't beat him already. I can never do it. Yeah, I can be activated. Your suspicions are true? I can't beat him already. I can never do it. Yeah, I could be activated. Your suspicions are true that I could be activated.

Company tournament two. Fathers only in Nick edition. That's okay. So, Nick Allen. Nick Allen. Mango gets a homie invite. I would Mango. Why would he get an invite?

I just said so many company events. I mean, he's been enough of a tax write-off for years. The company owes him so much money that he gets an invite. The yard owes him like three episodes. The yard owes him three episodes. I owe him like 18K,

so we just have to invite him for that. I owe him first thing. It blows my mind that you could possibly be in the red to mango. Why? That's not true. You said you were even

like a year ago. No, I owe money. I don't think it's actually 18K, but I think I owe him like maybe 11K or something. 10K? 12K? That's crazy. I owe him 100 bucks. Maybe I'm wrong.

You think the Green Reaper will ever come? You think he'll ever be like, hey man, it's time. I hope he's tracking because here's the thing. It's not me that has to pay out. It's like tournament winnings. And I don't do those. No, we've done that. What are you talking about? There's still some tournaments that he claims he's not me that has to pay out. It's like tournament winnings. And I don't do those. No, we've done that. What are you talking about?

There's still some tournaments that he claims he's not been paid for. He's lying. It's his fault. Oh, wait. Which one is it? It's his fault then. He's probably not submitting his question. It is his fault.

Yeah. He has to submit for 100%. Oh, God forbid you still do owe him. God forbid you send the W-9. You know what we do? We start charging reverse interest. This goes for all tournament competitors. If you don't

invoice the tournament, by every week it goes down. And then it goes negative and that becomes your entry fee to the next tournament. Get destroyed. Yeah, that's cool. I can't believe I'm the only one that just thought of this. I just don't think they would want

Yeah, no, it's a good idea. Right? Yeah. They're gonna want the only one that just thought of this. I just don't think they would want yeah. No, it's a good idea Right. Yeah, like they there's they're gonna want the money. They'll just encourage them and then Cody Schwab is like I didn't get my hundred Dollars I lost $100 Come see the strongest man in Coney Island. We have fucking fun together, don't we? I haven't seen you guys in a while. Shut up. I haven't seen you guys in a while. I hate you.

It's true. You could come to the concert, man. You could dish shake. Come with us. It was actually not a good show. You know we only hang out when we do the Yard podcast and play basketball. Whose fucking fault is that? Probably yours.

What? What the heck? Probably yours. Probably yours. Aiden would say yes to anything. You famously love saying no. Famously. I would actually say yes to anything that isn't playing a weird video game.

And Ludwig has the best excuse. Why? Because he's always fucking busy and shit? Do you like having an excuse not to hang out with your fucking friends? I would love a day off. I thought that.

On the ride over today, I was like, man, I'd love a day off today. After getting your pockets run? After getting my fucking pockets. Was your window smashed? No. I don't know how they got in.

Dingling took it to get repaired. Did you leave it unlocked? It's okay. I left my car unlocked until my laptop got stolen. Dingling took it to get repaired and then brought it it unlocked? It's okay. I left my car unlocked until my laptop got stolen. Yingling took it to get repaired and then brought it back, but I'm pretty sure my car auto-locks. Yingling. So I don't want to put it on Yingling.

It doesn't. I've driven your car. It does. Ooh, maybe you've always thought it was auto-locking, and it just never was. It literally will go, burp, if you press the unlock button.

It just does. Okay. It's your car. You know more than me. I've driven it. It's got all... I've driven a lot. It's your car. You know more than me It's a 2011 bro purple I had the same So I don't know yet the turkeys purple as hell purple I feel like if you're like a robber and you're like so which car should we fucking like okay when bugs are purple the

Predators know to stay away, but all of a sudden fucking dumbass thief doesn't know that well I think it's different if the thief had bitten into your car then he would have been poisoned yeah well it's good you're doing hard to my car's got poison and venom yeah your car has poison paint on it i watched that kia boys talk and it's the it's the channel 5 thing where basically it's a documentary about how kia's and hyundai's art can be stolen with only a usb cable oh yeah Yeah. It is. It's crazy. That's great. It's crazy. Apparently they're rolling out patches for it which I'm like how do you patch that? All they're doing is they're breaking the ignition box

and then the USB stick is the same size as like the ignition on the inside so you just put it in and turn it and it just turns. Oh my god. And apparently a patch fixes that. Okay. You have to go get your Hyundai or your Kia patched. Yeah.

But I'm like, what does it do? Just the car, it locks the ignition now. They can't over the air that shit? I don't know. Pissing me off. I don't like new fucking cars, bro. Yeah, obviously. Your shit is downstairs like a movie prop.

You have to get your booster before you can fucking drive the car. You gotta get your damn booster before you can fucking go into a bar. Cutie's car pisses me off. It does this thing and it says, keep your eyes on the road and it pops up with this little AR thing and it beeps at you if it thinks that you're not fucking eyes on the road. What? Wow. Yeah, can I get

my car with the thought police in it, please? That's what I'm saying. Give me that little Punisher thing that goes in the seatbelt. Wouldn't that then get you to look off the road and to look at the warning? Well, yeah, but the warning's like just under.

Yeah, it's just, I don't know. No, the AR thing is on the road. And then sometimes it's just fucking wrong. Like on the windshield? Like I'm just looking.

My car has that too. I'm just looking. My car does this thing where if it thinks I'm going to collide with something, it stops playing music and then it goes

beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh. Right? But I'm a good driver and I cut it close. You can turn that off. So I'm always like, oh, you thought? You can't turn the beep off, but you can turn it silencing your music off, which I did. There's a guy at Toyota, the air traffic controller, who's tracking my car.

He's like, he got me again. He got me again. Dude, I listened to a compilation the other day of times where air traffic control gets mad at a pilot and they they just argue yo it's really hype because like sometimes planes will land without clearance or they'll take off without clearance and they thought they had clearance and then they but they're already in the air and so the pilots they're like you didn't have clearance to do that and they're like oh well i thought i heard you say this thing like no you didn't and clearance to do that. And they're like, oh, well, I thought I heard you say this. And he's like, no, you didn't. And they get all mad and spicy.

That's fair. They probably should get mad. So control is almost always in the right, right? Yeah. I don't know. Are they women? Because if they're in the wrong, the plane crashes. That's how you find out they're in the wrong,

because it gave clearance to someone they shouldn't have, and then it collides. Oh, my God god the girly pops getting so mad over the airwaves yeah like some pilot just like

um actually dude you're being a bitch right now the first album has too many synths in it that's why we like the second one and the that's not clear comms

that's Ludwig tier comms that's what the Taylor Swift air traffic control guys are talking about I was watching a game I wasn't even in the game yeah it was I wouldn't call clear comms. That's Ludwig tier comms in the air traffic. Okay, the comms. I was watching a game. I wasn't even in the game. I wouldn't call it comms. It was commentary. Oh.

Okay. Damn. And I said there was a guy on site, and there wasn't a guy on site because they killed him. Yeah. And I didn't see that. The problem is you. But it was with x-ray. Did your teammate hear you say it?

It was with x-ray. No, it was watching a game with x-ray. It was on the map and they killed a guy. Ludwig gets mad when he dies and wants to still continue playing the game. This is a very Valorant player attack shooter thing. What? And so when he dies. This is so false.

Dude, I don't know what to tell you. This is also just what you're supposed to do when you die. No, no, no, no. But it's this idea of like you're dead, but you can no longer play the game, right? In the round sure so all you're doing is saying everything that isn't necessarily clean or informative or something someone already doesn't know i'm platt he's platt is that like is that an argument for you or against you who knows nick i know you haven't been around in a while. Plat is a very high rank.

They changed it? Yeah. Okay, that's cool. It's top 10% of all players. Whoa. Maybe put that in your pipe and smoke it there, buddy. So what does that make Nick? Relevant.

He doesn't have the fucking game installed. That's probably true. You're hurting. Why are you so hurt? I'm not hurt. It's true. You got your fucking pockets running. I gotta give Grandpa credit because in 2019 he hit a red rank.

What are we talking about here? Whoa. She was 19. The game wasn't even out yet. Dude. Come on, man. It was 2020. I know that you're hurt, but hurt people hurt people.

And you need to remember that. Do you understand? I'm going to rob all your cars. Oh, all my cars. Oh, no. Everyone here. Oh. Yeah.

I have this picture that I took from the downstairs that if you take it, you're just taking your own thing back. What? Is that what you want? What picture? Don't worry about it. You don't care. You gotta stop. I hate, you gotta stop doing this. It's actually making me kill myself in real life with a gun. You can't just take the shit that is here and then be like, you don't give a fuck

about anything. Alright, see you later guys alright well that's we're gonna end the podcast on a very uh you know you can join it'll get even more tense

and fun it's like a fire giant he's leaving he's actually walking away Ludwig the thing I took was my thing from the old house it belongs to me

if you wanna join the Patreon for the bonus episode if you want more of that uh patreon.com slash DR We're going to do another podcast for you And if you took Ludwig's jackets

Please return them They're really expensive The thing I took is mine Patreon.com slash DR see you later