The Yard - Ep. 146 - We Try Podcasting w/ LinusTechTips

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by Linus from LinusTechTips! They discuss how vasectomies work, our old tweets about Linus, and how Linus spends his time outside of his work...

🎵 98.2 DJ Racist In the morning Today we have a We are going Today we have a special guest. It's racist time. And welcome.

Is anyone going to join? This is your intro? Who wants to come down the slide? Nobody wants to come down the slide. This is the intro. No, no, no. no, no, no, no. No, God knows not the Q. Well, hold on. He's not racist. I'm

DJ Racist. No, no, no. Yeah, but in this hypothetical scenario, he's agreed to come on DJ Racist's show. It's like a debate show. Let's imagine Biden shows up to DJ Racist for a moment. Well, I'd be fired.

Well, he'd be like, you know, as the president, I don't really agree. I don't really agree with DJ Racist. So it's DJ Racist introducing our guests. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. We can do this. He'll be fine up there. Let's try again.

Okay. Yeah. You've been sucking babies and kissing hands. Okay. Should I be MC racist? Is that the problem? I don't think that's the problem. How about, can you, could you do the honors?

May I? Please. Really? I would be flattered. I think you deserve it. I think I do. Guys, after the longest time ever, we finally have someone on the podcast that I know who they are. And I would like to herald the coming of just a beautiful mind who earlier said he was going to make pee by drinking Gatorade.

Linus Tech Tips. Yeah! I don't think my ass is flying. There he goes. Let me tell you, some big asses have gone down that slide. That was the slowest descent we've had. That was very controlled. That's how he does it.

Controlled, smooth. All right, good morning, everyone. Ludwig's going to coach you on that mic right now. No, he's got it. He's a pro. He's a consummate professional. I don't need to talk to him. Consummate professional.

He is. You should see how he acts. Oh, he's actually... Always been a tinker. He's actually always been Tinkering I can make this work Hi Linus. All right morning everyone. Wow you doing I'm never better actually really Yeah, I pulled an all-nighter not last night, but the night before so you guys are gonna get semi unhinged Linus today Which is a lot of fun. Did you like or not like DJ Racist in the morning?

I just didn't understand it. That's fair. It's the hard hours of today and tomorrow. I have never watched a podcast before, so I wasn't really sure if that was the intro. We do it every time. People are sick of it. And they say, no, don't do it anymore.

Don't bring DJ Racist back. Imagine 150 WAN shows and it's always DJ racist bringing in Luke. It was like 1.30 a.m. last night and Aiden comes home late from a wedding and he walks in the kitchen and I say, do you think that Linus is going to understand me? Did this happen? More or less. Yeah, more or less. There was a few more sentences. There were a few more sentences. There were a few more sentences.

Uh, I- Nick, you wanna know what Nick really said? He said, do you think if I tell Linus I'm a Chedophile, he'll know what I'm saying? So here you are to prove, or disprove, do you know what that is? Cause I don't. A Jenophile? A Chedophile. A Chedophile.

A Chedophile. Well that means you love Ched. Real A chedophile. A chedophile. That means you love ched. Real shit. Real shit. Bro. Real shit. He knows exactly what the fuck he's talking about. I don't. You're a chedophile.

Is it? That's why you hired Kelly. He just wants that chedda. Oh, like you want that chedda. That's like what fucking Chester Cheeto would say. Oh, it's money. Well, I didn't know what ched was, but I knew it. I thought of Cheddar the Cheese

So I'm not too close It's a slang term for a cheetah I will say that was an abandoned campaign From the cheetah From Doritos There was a guy in a boardroom Who was like I have an idea And they're like you're fired

Between 10 minute episodes of Spongebob He's gonna say I'm a Cheddarphile And crack the bag It's uh, it's it's Chester the cheetah on the Joe Rogan set He's got his sunglasses and shit. Yeah. Well, how are you doing Linus? Let me can I ask you a question? I I'm very tense right now my entire staff Hey, my audience and my wife all warned me about appearing on this podcast. Warned you?

You guys know that I've been canceled several times in the last couple of years over things that, quite frankly, are probably more tame than what happens here on a pretty regular basis. No! Excuse me! Your wife's a listener? DJ Races. Like, are you kidding me?

Were you? I was like, in like in my head like Nick don't say DJ right like you cut the Palestine PowerPoint all right how are you man how are you first off first off but you ask your question? No, but he's... No, no, no, please, Ludwig. Please, coddle, coddle our baby coddlefish. Can you just let Dad drive for a second? Let me drive. Just let Dad drive. Go drive, because when someone shows up who's important, he shows up on time. He shows up on time.

He says, I'll see you guys at 10. I'll see you guys at 10, because Linus is coming, and he's a magnate, and he's got a big group with a name after him. Oh, make sure you're on time When it's just us oh my god We might as well be the shit in his ass Sometimes I'm late So basically you're saying you don't

Exist because he has a Swipe bidet Yeah he rips his ass Clean of our Friendship I clean you straight off my asshole And it's fucking annoying. You're fucking annoying.

This is good. You want to do this for 90? You can run it. You're good at your job. Linus, we've met before. In fact, I like to think of the first time we ever met. Yeah. I don't think anyone knows.

Could you? No, I've talked about it on my podcast, actually, which I now know that you don't watch either. So now I don't feel as bad about what I said earlier. I listen to the wan show for at least five to ten minutes every time it's on on twitter now why joe really it's huge on twitter no i do not know this blood it's your podcast yeah i know but like twitter there's 10 to 20 000 people who listen live on twitter really yeah you guys do it live with just kind of baller too. I've always liked that. You guys were doing YouTube live streams

for a long time. You know why we did it live, right? So in the very, very early days, the very first sort of predecessor to the WAN show was just a Q&A stream. And basically, it was a recognition

that live was happening and we just wanted some kind of foot in the door in case VOD just kind of disappeared because back in those days i mean this was over 10 years ago back then nothing was certain uh the creator economy as it exists today didn't exist yet like the idea of taking sponsorships uh like you were an asshole for taking a sponsorship on your video you were greedy uh being a youtuber wasn't a real job.

I mean, those comments have kind of disappeared now, but that used to be a pretty common refrain. Anytime you tried to make money for doing your work, it was, I remember when YouTube used to be cool and people did it for fun. It's like, oh, yeah, but you know, cameras cost and staff costs. I'm sorry, but I can't pay people in fun, unfortunately.

You can. Ludwig. We're supposed to pay you? Pay them, Jones? I don't pay these guys. I make them come to a little heads off at least once a week. Ludwig literally takes everyone to Lakers games. That's paying them in fun.

Well, I also pay them a salary, so. Are you sure? No. Have you looked at that? To be honest, I haven't. Because I used to do that. Years ago. Yeah.

And I used to. And how would I know if anything changed? Ludwig just puts all of his cash in a big room, and every employee gets one hand. And you can reach in and grab as much as you can muster, and that's your salary. When I did this, I... Does he put his body under the money? So like... Yeah, you might get a handful every time. When I did this, I put a bunch of honey on one of them big foam hands. And so I knew, yeah, I knew how to do it. Maybe try glue next time. But I was going to have really honey.

Honey was more readily available. That is weird. Are you looking for a job? This guy's smart. This guy's smart. So WAN Show was recognizing that even though I didn't understand what the fuck it was, there's this Twitch thing or, you know, Justin TV or whatever it was back then. And live was like a big deal.

And people would have, you know, thousands of people, tens of thousands of people watching them. And there was all this money being thrown at it. And so we just needed to have some kind of presence. And I don't know if you guys know this, but we were the very first non-g gaming live stream that was allowed to be on Twitch Really? Because they were only gaming back then you couldn't do any

Only gaming and do you know how that happened was Twitch wanted to get into the MCM game Multi-channel MCN excuse me That used to be the hottest shit Yeah, so Twitch wanted basically to get their fingers in everyone else's revenue just like the full screens of the world yeah like the money pile just and they came to exactly exactly so they came to us and they wanted to be our our multi-channel network and i think the person who was spearheading that for twitch lasted like two months. But in that time we got a deal done with them to have them as our YouTube MCN. And as part of that, we carved out that guys, it's going to be

pretty fucking stupid if you're our MCN and we can't stream our goddamn podcast on your platform. So we had a bizarre carve out. We also had a 100% deal deal which was not really a thing back then so they didn't take any of our ad sense so we held on to that deal basically until twitch finally started allowing people to multi-stream that's why we were allowed to multi-stream too you got a little wait you were allowed to multi-stream that was like a few months ago we were allowed to multi-stream since like i don't know 2015 or something old-school twitch deals are the funniest stories Yeah, they offered us a hundred percent of all the revenue or I would go to X split for like 200k

Yeah, and it was like yeah, I took the X split deal and it's like dude. That's crazy You could have got five dollars for every single sub all yourSense. I think Team Liquid still has a 100 split. No, no, no, no, no. No? No, certainly not. It's all changed now. Dude, someone's still got to have one of those backroom fucked up cobweb deals. Hold on, I didn't have a 100 split on Twitch members.

I had a 100 split on my MCN deal. But some people were offered a 100 split on sub members as well. I have heard about that, but that was not something that we got. So you invented just chatting. In a way. You might say that. Look at that. Were you wearing green shorts and then keying out the shorts so that it was video games?

Yeah, it was loose ass, green screened out, and then Linus playing with fucking Arma. Yeah. Fucking Arma. Yeah, play Arma. Why Arma? Because it's an old-ass game for an old-ass man. Terraria looking ass. Because I asked, we're doing a bro versus bro after this, and I asked you for games that you're good at,

and I had to Google half of them, bro. Yeah, I'm pretty good at Unreal Tournament. You know what the funniest one was? It was a bunch of different games, but he said Halo, either combat evolved or infinite nothing in between No one second one second, okay, look I Played halo combat evolved when I was young and had free time. Uh-huh. Okay, then I went to school Okay, I started a company. I had a kid and then some more kids and

Then now I finally my youngest is eight and I have time to game again So I play Halo Infinite now. You're the only person I know playing Halo Infinite proudly. Is anyone else on that server? Oh, no. Yeah, it's you know what? It's me and Halo Infinite. It's a bad rap. It's a bad rap. Yeah, it's a fun game. There's some stuff They really fucked up like not allowing you to select what game mode you want to play It's like look I'm not gonna play Halo infinite to play fucking Slayer It just shoes all game types because they're trying to get the 20 people into a lobby Everyone picks their own games gonna be one people across 20 game mode dump the slop into the truck

Everyone picks their own games gonna be one people across 20 game mode dump the slop into the truck I live in Morocco Capture the flag no you can't yeah, you're playing oddball and juggernaut and Slayer and Okay, basically you're gonna like it and obviously the cosmetics are just already Slayer as an old school. That's pretty easy This is a halo infinite player base It's at three thousand right now about six thousand and 24 our peak is ever can you look at ballot row? No Ballot row an indie card game

Wow interesting yeah, 820 K. That's pretty good all-time peak all-time peak is lower Yeah, I stood yeah. They did dust that. So the fall-off was much greater from Halo. Yeah. Linus, could you regale again then, the story of when we first met? Yeah, yeah. So one of the first things

that this fine young man ever said to me was, yo, I heard you had a vasectomy. Can you still cum? You said that? What do you think the answer is? Things you can Google for 200. I know what the answer is.

Oh, you're a big fucking cummer. I've looked up vasectomies. Yeah, you look up cum all the time. You're so cool, dude. Yeah, I look up cum. Yeah, I'm a big nutter, dude. Big nutter over here. I'm a true beater.

Nutter butter over here. Okay, my question to you is, what do you think the point of a vasectomy is? I thought it was like you clamped the cum and then it just builds up and then like every six months you poke a hole and you just expel it. Oh my God, what? It's so you can cum with your wife. No, no, ultimately you don't have to wear a condom. With your wife and you're, and you love each other.

The reason you get a vasectomy is not to cum. When a man and a woman, when a man and a woman. My wife never cums. Does any one of them have vasectomies? Well, a vasectomy might hurt cum, but I'm not that concerned. That's the best Shapiro. I got a vasectomy in my wife's. My wife's are dry.

I think it might be because of me. Maybe I got a double vasectomy. I thought that it was to stop having kids. It is. You're such a fucking idiot. What do you mean? I'm an idiot. You can look it up for two seconds.

Because men typically are interested in this idea. What do you think came out? Do you think it poofed out like climbing a child? I thought you would come and go poof. It's kind of like overclocking your penis. No, it's not. Is it you think came out? Do you think like, like poofed out? I thought you'd come to go. It's kind of like overclocking your penis. No, it's not like overclocking. No, no. And look, look, look, there are some, there are some potential side effects. Have you had any? Um, no, but, but there was one that scared me enough that I almost considered not getting the procedure. It makes you smaller.

There's, there's a, no, no, but, but one of the potential side effects is something called TPS, testicular pain syndrome, which I think I don't need to explain what it is. Your balls just be hurting. As advertised on the tin. Yeah. Yeah. Um, fortunately I didn't end up with TPS. Yeah. Yeah. Fortunately, I didn't end up with TPS. Yeah. And yeah, no, it's been great because at risk of sounding like, you know, I don't know how

this sounds. God forbid you love your wife. It was very, it's been very simple for us to get pregnant. Basically, we have three kids and there were- You got a lot of vitality. You got strong cum, why don't you- No, no, it's not that simple. Motherfucker, you son of a goddamn bitch!

It's not that simple. It's not that simple. There's a mix of creatine in there. Yep. Shit! Basically, the wife is excellent breeding stock. She's in the other room right now. Yeah, I know, she can be in here right now.

She definitely can, yeah, she definitely can. Have you ever said that about your girlfriend? I still haven't. I've never, I've never had. Romance might be dead. I mean it in a kind way, you know? Right. I tell her very often, I'm like, thank you for the beautiful family, because... Thank you sweetheart, you're such good breeding stock.

You know what's so cute is, I say you look like you're such good breeding stock. You know what, it's how cute it is, I say you look like you'd be good breeding stock. You look like you'd be like a good breeding, like an animal on a ranch for me. You also probably have great swimmers, I have great swimmers too, we're the same that way. Well, you know the reason I asked you, I know it's a Google-able question. Sure. Well yeah, you're trying to break the ice and get involved with your elite blood boy castle, you know, YouTuber people. Yeah, we heard about the trying to break the ice and get involved with your elite Blood Boy castle, you know. Yeah, we heard about the Blood Boys at the YouTube meetup.

Yeah, we had Blood Boys. But Blood Boys aside, the YouTube meetup, I am a little intimidated by YouTubers. You know, because they can be kind of like fucking alien creatures in a way. Really? In the sense that they can be, you know, maybe only about their hustle or like maybe they're on at this event and they're not like them as the human. It's like a robot finding out other robots exist. Really?

But they still think they're human. Oh yeah, you think you're special, bro? Are you kidding me? I want you to imagine, you know, gaming YouTuber Ludwig approaching somebody like Veritasium, educating the masses one video at a time 10 million views a pop. Yeah, I think Derek was there.

He was there. Deep cut content that really changes the world and he's like I mashed 200 times in 60 seconds. He was one of the more intimidating people there too. He's super nice.

He's very nice but he's also more intimidating because I definitely think he looks down on me. You think so? Bro 100% tell me about it I well I just think he respects more educational content and I am certainly not provided now. I'm back on your side Fuck whoever this is okay. We're very tassie. Yeah, he looks great

Fuck him watch this video about game theory. Is it good? Yeah, wonderful. Yeah, of course it is. Is he mean to Ludwig? No, he wasn't mean. That's to be clear. He wasn't mean. Is he just him? Because look, I have met him

several times and realistically he probably doesn't remember the first time I met him because I was a relatively much smaller deal but he was nice

and he, you know, yeah, he was kind and he took the time like i don't know honestly if out of all the people that you could have picked i i would have said no i think i think derrick's super chill well so what i did then because maybe it was in my own head is i would go up to people and i'd ask them incredibly invasive questions like how much do you make that's a great fuck and then i would follow up with other questions. Like, what is your vice? And I think I asked you all three questions, which includes the third one,

of course, how do your, how do your balls work? Yeah. Yeah. Right. You're asking that to everyone. Really good.

But you gave, Jenna Marbles gets that question as well. I had to actually nerf them. Yeah. They're too strong. You gave the weirdest answer for vice. Hatched my balls. Yeah.

Cause I talked to every other YouTuber. I'm like, what's your vice? And they're like, I'd be smoking pot. And then it's like, you know, I like a little fucking drink every now and again. It's like, I play a bunch of video games. And they go to Linus. I'm like, what's your vice line? Do you remember your answer?

I don't actually remember what I said. I mean, I don't have any of the traditional ones. I don't gamble. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Well, I guess answer now. What would you say your vice is? I wonder if it lines up. I don't have any of the traditional ones. I don't gamble. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Well, I guess answer now. What would you say your advice is? I wonder if it lines up.

I don't know. I mean, realistically, work. Probably my biggest addiction. That's what he said. Oh, did I say the same thing? He said the same thing. He said the same thing. I think maybe it's caring too much when I think about it deeper.

But I think it's true. I think you work a lot. I think that is your... It's not how much. Because I think you can have a healthy relationship with is your It's not that It's not how much Cause I think you can have A healthy relationship with work And work as much as I do But I don't think

My relationship with it Is healthy I think I get Really in my head When Things go wrong I mean Honestly

You probably saw You probably saw me at Not maybe my worst But kinda near my worst Because When you hit the employee Yeah Yeah I mean That's not his worst That happens all the time We do it all the time saw me at not maybe my worst but kind of near my worst because the employee I mean that is worse that happens all the time we do it all the time Aiden yeah

it is office sandbag over here after this I'm Friday having a long morning so our plan for the intro for the punishment PC was that Ludwig was supposed to get shocked by a shock caller we had the shock callers for a previous video when we collabed with electro boom and for some reason not only had we lost the shock callers we hadn't re-obtained them i hadn't been informed and the scripted intro we really like to keep our intros as tight and to the point as possible because zoomer retention i guess and so not only did we not have them i hadn't been informed it was like written into the the written intro it was integral um and so i well i hate walking on set and finding a surprise and honestly i felt

terrible about it and and i i apologized to uh that member of the team afterward and i was like look i uh i i made a point of telling Ludwig, you know, afterward, you know, sometimes I can be a little bit of an obsessive, but, you know, our team is great. You're a great team. I really do. There's good vibes in your office.

I have an amazing team. Yeah, because you showed up, Ludwig. No, I did the short circuit shoot and they were buzzing. It was good vibe time. I do love good vibes, but they were buzzing over there. No, I really do short circuit shoes and they're all they're buzzing. It was good vibe time I do love good vibes with their buzzing over there. No, there I really do have an amazing thought about just wearing the shot color Well, I'm We didn't have it brother It wasn't there

How is it out there if you had a meeting about it being there? We've got a very important guest. We've got a very important guest. The one person in this room who I know who he is. He's not important bro. Sorry. It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. So we've got this, we've got a very important guest and we don't have a shot caller to hurt him. He wanted to hurt me more. And so, and so, you you know that's where i think like um and realistically it didn't matter we made the video work without it um but i just you know i just i want everything to be as good as possible and i don't think that's healthy so that's what you mean with your relationship with work is that maybe more unhealthy aspect of it yeah yeah yeah

i think so um let me ask you a question let's's say, all right, Linus Media Group, it gets sanctioned by the U.S. government. It is no... They're in Canada. Sanctioned? Yeah. We run you. So this is after the U.S. takeover of Canada. You need our funding. I've wondered why that hasn't happened yet. You dismantled NAFTA. You guys know we have all the fucking

water, right? Yeah, and we like water. Yeah. We're coming. There's going to be a delegation from arizona i could drink i can drink la croix the rest of my life ew what do you think that's made of yet okay fruit we slightly some fruit that's right the ocean we okay the u.s government joe joe biden he comes and he says, ah, it's over. And let LMG is shut down and he sanctions it and you shut down. Sure. Why does you can never work in this again ever?

Okay. That's Joe. That's Joe. And also I poop my pants. Yeah. I love ice cream. Sure. What, what do you do with your life?

I mean, I, I think I just finally don't work. Like like why well, what do you do with your time? It can't just be not work. There's a lot of halo in kids play. Do you have kids? Do you have any idea how much time kids take we have hidden you would raise your kids Start doing that With all that free time I mean really has three children look I'm a tinkerer the that until my company goes away. What would you do with all that free time? I mean, realistically, look, I'm a tinkerer. The reason I pulled an all-nighter was because we have a video upcoming where we are, we're upgrading the car of one of my staff members.

And the thing is like in a larger organization, you end up with a lot of, you end up with a lot of politics, whether you want it or not, uh, that you don't have when it's just, you know, half a dozen pretty tight people making videos in a house, you know, like it was in the early days. And so we would do things that, you know, I thought were not that big of a deal. Like we did a Mario cart live circuit challenge on one of our, on one of our channels a while back. And the prize was, I think a vacation day for winning. Um, and so someone won it and they were super excited because yeah, who doesn't like a day off. But what I didn't expect was the backlash from people who didn't participate

in the video and weren't given a shot at that vacation. People were pissed about it. And so, you know, I look at guys like Jimmy and I look at, at folks on the platform that are that that have this kind of this double standard of treatment or they're on screen personalities or for certain members of their team and i kind of look at it and go how are you getting away

with that like do you just tell people so sad too bad who cares or or like how does this work because the amount of backlash that we get whenever we have any perceived unfairness like that is is a is a lot and you know again the team's world class but they can also be kind of babies sometimes this is sort of the way that that i felt about it in the past but you know i think i've learned a lot and and now we try to make sure that everything's fair so if not everybody participates um what we would do for challenges like that is everyone who didn't participate was allowed to bet On who would win Like racehorses No no no

The fix is in No because they don't No because the person competing The person competing is competing for themselves Sure they're incentivized to win Exactly I've just seen a lot of chopped pots in my time And you know what that worked okay

But it was a lot of overhead mid-minute, and it was a pain in the butt. So we just killed Channel Superfun ultimately. But hey, we have one guy on the team. We have one guy on the team who drives a 2004 Honda Civic, which happens to be almost the exact same car that my old Lamborghini was, the pink car with the green racing stripes. And his was about as base model as mine i mean he has an automatic transmission so i guess that's something mine was manual but he's got like the windows like this he's got the door locks like this no remote keyless entry bone stock bone stock nothing so we did a video where we put in a backup camera and we put in uh a deck that had

android auto and carplay And life changer for him. To be clear, this is someone who could afford a better car. He just spends all his money on like $2,000 gaming monitors. Right. He has an RTX 49. You just go from point A to point B, you don't need a fancy car. I wonder where he gets that value system. Yeah.

Guy's a gamer. Who do you think we hire? Here's the problem. I was going to say, the reason why your team, you're hiring gamers, dude. What I've always struggled with the idea is like, all right, if you become someone like Linus or like Marques or like all these like giant tech magnates, your primary audience it feels is like the Redditor. Oh, the ruthless Redditor.

Just the- The dreaded Redditor with their ponytails. Just the extra. And I fucking love Consumer Electronics. You haven't been watching your shit since I was fucking a little young jit. But it's just crazy because we have to wrestle with ourselves. This is our audience. These are people who pay the bills.

But you had a forum. That's the difference You actually fostered A sense of community With the LTT forums I think the forum Hates me more than Reddit does Which is kind of beast

Right? No No It's kind of It's kind of cool I mean not from Linus' behalf But maybe from like

A general Yardstar Reddit hates me But I walk in there And they throw eggs And tomatoes And I say Hello I'm back

The Brittany Broskins Are racist They hate you You're learning Yeah But I walk in there and they throw eggs and tomatoes and I say, hello, I'm back. The Britney Broski's are racist. You're learning. Yeah. That's his bit, though. Was there backlash from other people not getting a nicer car? So here's the deal. For episode two, we're putting in new headlights.

We're putting in. Oh, this is a multi-episode series. We're putting in power locks. We're putting in power windows. You should have pimp my ride. Yes, pimp my ride. We're putting in noise. We're putting in sound multi episode series of putting in power locks. We're putting in power windows hit my right We're putting in sound deadening panels Xbox and the only catch is that To make sure that nobody's jealous I get to paint the car So I was up late Painting his vehicle that looks great. Does it say DJ Racist across the side? No, it should! Okay, you just recreated Pimp My Ride.

One to one. This is Pimp My Ride! Wait, sorry, this isn't L.A. You did this here? No, I did this in, this is my garage. Oh my god. Wait, you painted it with your hands. Wait, you should send it to Ludwig so he can... Well, with a spray gun. Dude, that's right, but you didn't... Can you email me that later? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll send you that, sure. You know what? There was a video a long time ago...

I'm sorry, if I can't actually complain for a moment. That was my garage at four in the morning the night that I was flying up here. Yeah. So I had to leave my house at about quarter after five. Wait, you're going to email him that picture? Yeah, he's going to email me. That's cool. Mine is communicates through email.

I don't have the Twitter app on my phone anymore. It was not healthy. It is so tough, tough man I've been going through it trying to email he's smug he's like yeah that's right that's right little boy you will communicate with me on my platform yeah I've lost the war I have to communicate through it and it's like man is email slow you know what's funny is this is my folder for all of my communication apps. You got a lot of them. It's just that the only one I don't have like I will-

Dude I'll open my true social app. Generally I will come to you, but the only one that I don't have is Twitter. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's fair. Lovey, do you ever feed coots them factor meals? Whoa. You feed yourself them? Oh my god, you're definitely feeding yourself those factor meals. Dude, them pythons are factor meals.

I think you feed the meals to the cat and then eat the, take a little bite to the cat. Archie, can you pull up a picture of my ass real quick, just throw it on the screen during a Saturday? It was crazy. Do you guys want that? I thought it was fake. You want that?

That rotisserie thickener is. Do you want that? You shove two balloon down there? It's so crazy. I couldn't believe it was real. I thought it was CGI. If you want that for you or maybe for somebody in your life,

well then you should get them or eat yourself factor meals. Factor meals. That's right. You save money, save time. You save yourself the extra trouble. I mean, hundreds of them. Fresh, never frozen meals ready in just two minutes. That's what happens. Nutritious. Look at that.

They got protein plus. The protein's good. That's the thing. It's all about the macros. Yeah. And the macros are listed on the back. Easy to track. 30 grams of protein or more per serving. There's some 40s. There's some 40 bombs. You like that stuff? They also got juices, smoothies, snacks, breakfast options.

They got juice, and it puts the juice downstairs in that juicy damn thing of yours. And you need the color code. So the blue is fish. The green is vegetarian. The red is natty. Oh my god, it was. The black one is like the primo shit. The black one where you get that filet mignon.

Yeah, you get the truffle. The truffle is like the primo shit. The black one where you get that filet mignon. Yeah, you get the truffle stuff like that. Well, if you want two cheeks that look like the ducks that hang in the window at the meat shop, you can go to factormeals.com slash theyard50 and use code theyard50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off the next box in your subscription. That's right. Factormeals.com slash theyard50. Give us a quack, Nick.

Quack, America's number one quack meal quack kit. And my dog was doing it. Your dog was doing it. Yeah. And was overfed for full drop. Now let's get back to this quack. What are you talking about? Oh.

You want to chat on WeChat? I'll get WeChat. He has Discord. Yeah, I'm on Discord. I'm on WeChat too. Yeah, I'm on Discord. Wait, I'll just get your Discord. That makes way more sense.

Because I've been emailing you. And then also Hank Green. Well, you've been emailing me. I think you mean you've been I'll just get your Discord. That makes way more sense. Because I've been emailing you, and then also Hank Green. Well, you've been emailing me? I think you mean you've been failing to email me. Damn. Say it. Say it louder for the people in the fucking back. You know that the notification on your phone works exactly the fucking same, right?

You got the little shade comes down. Look, I'm going to email you right now. Yup. Watch me email you right now. Watch him do it, little boy. You're going to get a notification. Watch him send that email. I've leaked my email

so many times, Linus. Throughout the years. On stream. Good job. Me too. That I now get- What, you want a prize? I'm getting fucking

daily emails for like countrygirls.com and Yeah, they make do. jointhemormanchurch.net Well then don't fucking subscribe to that shit!

They subscribed me with my email, Linus! They subscribed me with my email! Do you guys hear these excuses? I can't believe it. What is it? And the thing is, no kids. You know how many kids he has? No kids.

But my cum swims so fast, Linus. I went to donate sperm and they said said top 10% in the world. And then you have that fuck-ass haircut. Who's gonna want that kid? Look at all the fuck- do you think it's a fuck-ass haircut? Uh... no. Is it? And you see rich coming from you.

Come on! Hey! Are you on the fin? On the fin? I have no idea what you're talking about. You're not on finasteride to save your hair. Oh, no. That shit's natty. That's natty That shit's natty. It's looking good. How old are you? 37. 37? That's beast for 37. That's crazy. Ken Chen's older than Linus. Whoa

Do you know who Ken Chen is? That's crazy. No. Hot bid. That's fair. No. That didn't help. I thought that would hit. It might have. He's not really. He's Canadian. He's not at esports. Yeah, I know. You do have a charming Canadian accent. This is a fun game. Do you know Arteezy? Yeah. What? I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. Arteezy's... What is Arteezy?

Do you know... Do you have a favorite Degrassi character? No, I've never watched Degrassi. I'm gonna fucking lose my mind. It's a Canadian show. You know how old I am, right? When was Degrassi on? He was 44?

Well, it was in the 80s, and then they rebooted it in the 2000s. In the 80s? It would have been on Canadian television ors you're it's still it would have been on Canadian television or whatever you think what I was born in 1986 what about Big Brother Canada season 5 I don't watch reality TV What the fuck you do? What about you like Park boys? I have not seen trailer What the fuck look I didn't play hey What did you do? I didn't play Halo between combat evolved and infinite He's busy running a company Do you have anywhere between combat evolved and infinite? He's busy running a company!

Do you have a favorite movie? Uhhh... I mean, there's movies I like. Oh no... What do you think of the movie? What are you, my six? What are you talking about? It's a human being experience! What is he, fucking six? He's a fucking six-year-old watching movies.

What is a movie that you like? I like The Princess Bride. I think it's a fucking six-year-old watching movies. What is a movie that you like? I like The Princess Bride. I think it's a great movie. Okay. That is a great movie. Yeah. When did you first ever saw it?

Look, I tried to watch it with my kids, and I ended up watching that, and what's that, like, frenetic, Zoomer as fuck cartoon? No. Midges vs. the Machines. Oh, you're having some shit I haven't heard those two i watched those two movies with my kids probably about three weeks apart and they tried to sit through the princess bride by probably about the midpoint of the movie it was just me left

watching everyone else had wandered off the pacing is so slow and then when we watched that mitchell's versus the machines movie fire movie with this like super zoomery style and and like kind of over edited yeah that that gives you some idea of what's going on in this movie it's it's a great movie honestly i thought it was awesome um all ai but they were so they were so engaged by that and i realized like man when i go back and watch what passed for a fucking kids movie when I was a kid Free Willy is not a kids movie like what the fuck

like the Dark Crystal I didn't make it through the first 10 minutes of that I was like oh man I watched the Netflix series and I was like that was awesome I'm gonna watch the movie it's so you make YouTube content brother bear your job is to in the first

10 seconds to make sure they don't click away yeah I remember way back when you remember tech quickie I remember once you can still watch it I mean but remember tech quickie no no

by your own admission by your own admission it was a linus video and you're like you know i know we do things like chairs like tech quickie that loses a lot of money and i'm like oh he's telling us how the sausage is made profitable now it took a while yeah let's go because i remember there was a it was like how does plain wi-fi work and i was like i want to know that so you got me you're like the only youtuber i've consistently watched my whole life isn't that so interesting it's also sad no it's not well how old are you i'm 30 i'll be 34 in two days well then how are you watching me your whole life well yeah it's a figure it's a figure of speech okay i thought i can't tell how old people are. I have like a disability. Go around.

Go around. Yeah, go around. Yeah, I'm taking a shot. Okay. Do you have prosopagnosia? I don't know what that is. Watch anime. No, he got the vasectomy, bro.

Oh, right. Yeah. It means, yeah, it means you can't come. Yeah. So, so I don't know. I think you said 34. I have a bad short-term memory. Mm-hmm.

I mean, you, you kind of have a kind of a baby face thing going on here. I'm going to say 28. He's making a baby face. 28. What? In my face. 28? 28. Mm, 20. Do I a baby face thing going on here. He's making a baby face! What? My face. 28? 28. Mm, 20... do I say the answer?

Yeah. 27. Okay, okay, I'm pretty close. He thought you were old. Um... You were compensating. I'll be 28 soon. 31?

Dude! Wow! Oh my god! Is it the airline? Is it the airline? What part of his facial structure would you say... It's going to shit! Is it the Norwood 4?

I don't know what norwood is oh it is his oh you're such a fucking privileged guy is that mcdonald's logo it's fine it's fine do you think you're this is genuine question you think your career would have been the same if you started balding at 20 you know what's really interesting is people don't really talk about it as much because being bald or being short is not a protected class. But the impact on average on your earnings is actually pretty similar to a lot of other sort of disadvantaged groups. Yeah. Being bald, being short. Group groups yeah, yeah being being being bald being short I'll be tall is kind of it's kind of like the the pretty privilege how you can like measure people's success relative to

Fucking and coming from me I would kill for legs like that I could get legs like that? They break my long bones Stretch them out Put brackets on them That's what it would take for me Just walked into six figures So you're supposed to You know I've never had a US president Under six foot tall

Here's another one I remember coming across this article They did a study on the size of your dating pool by height. Oh, yeah. With men. If you are as short as I think it was 5'3 or something like that, you had to earn something like $600,000 a year in order to have the same size dating pool as a dude who's like 6'2.

Look, it's hard to be short in this world. Don't do the FaZe logo. Don't do the FaZe logo. Because you're not the tallest guy lying there. No, I want to find that. Have you thought about it before? Have I thought about it? The bone surgery.

You can't do sports. Have you thought about changing your bones? Oh, you like sports. Have you thought about changing your bones? Yeah, I play badminton like two, three times a week. You trade your height for your ability to use your legs? That's how it works? Yeah.

Whoa. I don't think you will. I mean, eventually, no. You won't grow strong? Nope. You can only shamble around like a dark soul. What did you want to pull up? We can have Zipper pull it up.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Well, I think it's going to be pretty tough. But if you can find the study that was the correlation between height, it's like a white paper, uh, but it's like a correlation between height and dating pool. Yeah. Is this the one? Yeah. Uh, potentials, uh, height. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. There it is. But there was one that had your earnings. So there's a different one. Um, there was one where they accounted for earnings and with women, this was really interesting. Once they reached six feet, there was no amount of earnings that they could have to increase because as it turns out men are shallow as fuck well the same way women are

shallow about short guys right and they and they have well no not in the same way even worse oh because they won't pull back up because i think it was there they won't date women who are so much taller than them no matter how I'll take up no matter How much socioeconomic advantage there could be yeah look at the drop of the oranges? Wayman yeah, and it drops off at me and my shorty. I'm like I'm like we all this was a Seinfeld episode 411 man or six seven foot woman That's a perfect couple. Versus a thousand children.

Linus has three kids. What's the most expensive thing you own? Not at your house. Yeah, my studio. Like a tech piece of tech. Like an individual item. A building is not an individual item? No. It's like what would Indiana Jones have to steal from your temple? Yeah, yeah not an individual item? No. It's like, what would Indiana Jones

have to steal from your temple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. My car, I guess. What would you answer if a room full of people had to find it interesting? Okay, I still have the gold Xbox controller. Wait, how did this get made? How do you have this? Well, we made it. controller. Whoa! Okay, let's go!

Wait, how did this get made? How do you have this? Well, we made it. You made a gold Xbox controller? How much does it cost? How much? Well, I don't know. Gold's been skyrocketing, so more than it used to. So you smelted the golden Xbox controller while you're holding it. Because bitcoins are gold.

Bitcoins are made out of computer gold, which is different. Oh, there is different. There it is. Look at you, Linus. You look good with the beard. You don't like it? I miss the beard. I'm painting my motorcycle right now. So the story behind the beard shaving is two pieces.

Piece number one is that I went in for a treatment called Morpheus 8, which is just like a skin de-aging thing. Is it where they put the blood back in your skin? No. You take a pill, you enter a virtual world. This is what they tested at the YouTube meetup. It's like a microneedling RF treatment. It's pretty basic.

But like, I mean, look, the way I understand that I'm going to age out of this eventually, but if I can still look decent on camera, I consider it just an investment in body upkeep. Yeah, I see it as like, I feel like it's like going to the dentist, you know, so I'm so I went in for a skin treatment. Would you get it if you weren't on camera? Hard to say. Probably not. Yeah. So I went in for the skin treatment and what they told me was, OK, look, we can't treat under the beard.

So your options are just just treat up here which is honestly most of the problem areas right because you're kind of targeting around the eyes and and you know the forehead and stuff like that um or if you shave we can do the whole thing and by the way it costs the same and i'm a cheap motherfucker so if i'm gonna pay the same i'm gonna get get everything i'm gonna get the whole treatment um so that was why i shaved it initially and then what i realized was i was gonna have to shave it anyway because i'm working on painting my motorcycle and um so i i picked up uh i picked up a turbine sprayer and i picked up like some 2k automotive paints and and stuff like that and man that shit's nasty that's not like

like house paint we're like oh, oh, I don't know. Yeah, I forgot my mask, but I'm just spraying this one board. So like, you know, whatever. I'll just go like this. Like you inhale that stuff. It's like, oh, that's poison. And so you can't really get a good seal. That's why firefighters have mustaches.

Because they need to wear the mask. So you can have a mustache. I thought it was so feels good when you sit on it. No. It's a station only, brother. That's between the station brothers and that's sacred. Amen. Mustache so feels good when you sit on it. No That's between the station brothers and that's sacred Can't be talking like you like painting stuff. Yeah, like a hobby guy you like dudes you do like things Yeah, I like things

Vice to paint your voice Your voice is huffing that good shit. I was going to say, if you want to, we can go in that shed, huff a little after the show. We can go in that shed sometimes. if you want. It's all right, brother. Ain't no one's going to- Do you still like doing stuff yourself? Is that it?

Or do you like- Honestly, that's the thing I miss the most about having a bigger company. Yeah, I love doing things myself. Yeah, it's like when I,

I also love surprises though. So when I go on set set we got this monitor that's you know like 16 by 9 is the normal aspect ratio and then like 21 by 9 is like you know ultra wide or whatever we got a we got a monitor that's i think 56 by 9 whoa yeah lg lg makes it it's a digital signage product so it's meant for like So obviously we gamed on it And you know what it was pretty it was pretty fun Even though I would have liked to do the testing myself right because part of our point was How our games gonna handle this shit right like am I gonna have my my ammo my ammo count?

Yeah, four feet away over there first thing I would want to do is boot up 4-3 counter-strike on it. Stretch it to the left. My AK is like this wide. This is just the way I grew up playing. He's your click the heads. So yeah, I would love to be the one who tinkered with it, but it's also kind of fun

to walk on set and just have that experience. So you try to find the fun in whatever it is you're doing. Linus, we have a history with you. All of us collectively. Zipper, I sent you... I did some research for the first time in my life, and I collected some old tweets.

That's embarrassing. What you said out loud was embarrassing. The first time that you've done any research? I'm not a scientist. What the fuck do you want from me? When's the. What's embarrassing? What you said out loud was embarrassing. The first time that you've done any research? I'm not a scientist. The fuck do you want from me? When's the last time you did research? Days ago. For what? I researched Elden Ring Oh yeah, oh yeah. No, immediately say a video game. Oh, I can't do research he does for Mogul Mail? I researched big hot loads. What do you- That's research. See, that's what I'm talking about. What did you discover?

All right, so zipper. Okay, can I just say, can we at some point have a discussion about who's the bigger narcissist? Because... Me or him? No, no, me or him. Oh, thank God.

Because I named my company Linus Media Group, which is pretty fucked up. But mogul? Male? Really? What? Isn't it a mogul? It isn't a stupid fucking name.

No, no. Isn't it stupid to have an E-Sports team, too?'t it a mogul? It isn't a stupid fucking name. No, no, no. Isn't it stupid to have an eSports team too? I'm a mogul. In pre-day TV it was ironic and then I just actually became the thing but I wasn't a mogul when I had mogul moves. Did you hear that shit just now? I've been here for the whole time dude. I do mogul things now. I do mogul things but I didn't used to do mogul things.

What kind of mogul things do you do? I do mogul things. Fucking dude, I fucking. I think I'm winning this one. I do have to fucking hire people, fucking fire people. You know he has only 250k in his personal bank account. That's wrong. It's 280 now What why would you keep shit in your personal bank account? What if there's a fire? What if there's a fire and you have to put it out? Let's say Joe Biden took over Canada.

Sure. There's a fire. Time's up, Canada. And the fire department will only work for a quarter mil. What would you do? I'd slip them a gold controller. Easy. Whoa.

Here, this one's for you and the boys when you're doing mustache rides later. My goat. Pretend you can control his face with this. You call me up too alright so listen what I did I collected a bunch of tweets from us

as collective because I you know Linus you've been I had an old podcast about melee and we put it on

YouTube and I remember being like I should do Linus thumbnails I literally called them that you were the first person to introduce the idea of an

interesting thumbnail to my you were just the only YouTuber he knew really yeah because I was gonna say our thumbnail game was I literally called them that. You were the first person to introduce the idea of an interesting thumbnail to my mental ecosystem. You were just the only YouTuber he knew. Really, yeah. Because I was going to say, our thumbnail game was good. Well, so was ours. For a long time.

No, no. It's just how the meta works. Anyway, so let's pull up the first tweet. You can zoom in a little bit. So this is Ludwig tweeting out in 2017, I'm not gay, but Linus and Luke from Linus... 2017, nice. Can you let me read this?

Yeah. I'm not gay, but Linus and Luke from Linus Tech Tips can double team me on the roof of a barn, TBH. You said that? I did not tweet this.

I did not tweet this. You can look it up. I mean... It's a clay court, man. It's balls right there. Dude, I think this was, this was, what, seven years ago?

I don't think realistically you had a social media team at that point, so... Oh, you should see his old one. Dude, Ellen DeGeneres made an appearance. 47 likes. Yeah, people are not into that. So do you want to address that?

Yeah, well, what do you think about that? I think that I'm flattered. Do you feel like the location affects how you feel? Do you think... You're really high-fiving. Barbing is fine. Well, you're not gonna get pregnant. That's one of the benefits.

I mean... Prove it. Yeah? I mean, don't make me bring her in here. I'm talking about how well it works. Hello, I've heard of your stock. Sweetheart, here it comes. Bring your breedable self over here.

Uh, yeah, and the thing is, you know what really made me think about it? Because the day before was 9-11. What does that have to do with any of that? I was just thinking about you all day. Oh, he's getting twin-towered. That's what we call it, Linus. We get a double-team call getting twin-towered. It used to be called that, but like in the Spider-Man movie,

they had to take the scene out. We had to bleep it now. We're going to have to bleep it. Buzzy classy. Okay, so yeah, next one. Yeah. This is Aiden. Aiden actually tweeted this three days ago.

Dude, that's a threat. So Aiden says- Which one's Aiden? This guy's Aiden. This is April 3rd. This is about a month ago. He said, if it really came down to it, I'm 100% confident I could kill Linus with my bare hands.

He meant tech tips. Yeah, but you know Linus is also slang for penis. So is this just a masturbation? No, it's not. Oh, 100%. Is it? You don't think he knows about his own name? You ever watch Arrested Development?

Not in a while. Anyone? Arrested Development? I've seen two episodes. You know the awkward son, right? Yeah. The super awkward Canadian. He refers to his penis as his Linus.

Really? Yeah, several times on the show. You know he's from Canada too. You guys should talk. Really? Yeah, Kelowna. Nice. That's why he kind of wants to kill you.

Yeah, he's jealous that there is such a large creator that's Canadian. I want to be the most famous person from British Columbia, Canada, and I'll stop at fucking nothing. Yeah. Narwhal's also going down. Interestingly. Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling Dude eyeball him who do you think wins that one? So with your bare hands because you're tall like you've got a reach advantage, but you actually look kind of scrawny

Oh damn Like I don't actually know if you've got a ton of weight on me No He's all bummed You might be in trouble actually But I think He said buddy you shouldn't have tweeted that. Why'd you tweet that out? I'm going to find out what your insides look like.

Aiden, why did you tweet that out, then? I feel like I was in a dark place. Yeah, look, it's in kind of a showboaty bullshit martial art, but I do have a black belt. Okay. I do actually go to the gym with my daughters about once a week. A black belt in what, RAM? GPU? Science? No, no, no. I just mean like, look, it's one of those things where I think people watch

UFC. I think they think they're tough. But most people don't know how to throw a punch. Like I had a kid hit me in high school and I was just like, what'd you do? Yeah. What'd you do? I did. People thought I was gay. Okay. Really?

And in, in 2000, I thought that seven years ago. Yeah. In 2002 and 2003, that was just like, that was enough to like, that was it straight up. Yeah. And he punched you. That was it. Yeah. Um, he's listening to KMF DM and fucking swinging on you.

And it's one of those things where like, realistically, realistically, I probably didn't help my case. Like, I was, I advocated. I started making out with all the guys around. Well, no, no, no. It's not that. But just, like, I advocated for that, like, being gay was fine. Yeah. And you were slogging it out at the Coquitlam Elementary.

Coquitlam Elementary? I don't know. It's just made up a school. In early 2000s, dude, that was, you were a fucking target. Have you looked this guy up in the past 20 years?

Which guy? The guy who punched you. Do you remember his name? If I went through my yearbook, I'd recognize him. You should go back and flex on him. Dude, imagine. You should do a video.

Why not? That's what we do this for, man. Dude, do a video like rebuilding his car and's what we do this for, man. Do a video rebuilding his car. And then you get to paint it. And then you put who's gay now. You should hire a beautiful male actor and then have him accidentally

run into this guy. And then tell him a whimsical story. And then have them magically fall in love. And then show up at the wedding and be like, gay! And then the actor takes off his mask. Yeah. And it's a woman. It's a woman.

It's a woman. That was really confused. And now he's like, I'm not sure what I am. What are you guys even talking about? We're talking about getting revenge on the person that hurt you. Because that's what content's for.

That's what content's about. Do you have any more tweets, Slime? Oh, okay. So there's another one. Probably not. There's one from Nick. This one you have any more tweets, Slime? Oh, okay. So there's another one. Probably not. There's one from Nick. This one actually didn't have to do with Linus at all. That's just the only one I could find that I thought was relevant.

I can tell you haven't done research before. Well, I mean, he didn't have any damn Linus. So this one's from 2021. It said, I got bugs on my nasty little shit. Termites and lice and what have you. I sorted this one out. It was crumbs from some cookies I was eating. It was crumbs.

Only crumbs. It was all crumbs. I thought it was bugs. It was bugs. I finished them up. Is nasty little shit also slang for penis? Yeah. Yeah.

Why is nasty little shit? Is nasty little shit cut or uncut? That's a great question. Oh, are you actually asking that? Yeah. We've asked our guests that a lot. Sure. Uncut.

Hey! Welcome, welcome, welcome. This whole side of the room is uncut. Does it that? We've asked our guests that a lot. Hey! Welcome, welcome, welcome! This whole side of the room is uncut. Does it matter? Because we overpower them now. Yeah, we win. Everything's a game. Everything's a game. That's why you make your employees fight for their vacation day.

With Mario Kart. Because everything is a game. And you say, all circumcised employees, report to the office. Report here. And then you give them a- And we're going to put it back. And you give them a-

I bought a bunch of foreskin on the dark web and we're going to put it back. I bought a bunch of foreskin on the dark web. Now, the thing about foreskin is it's kind of hard to get back onto the penis. Is that a good Linus? I was doing you. Oh. Oh, I didn't even notice. Aria Alexa!

I'm so sorry. Total scam! Total scam Aria Alexa. I like the red. How's that? I mean, I don't agree, but I, I, I don't know if I've ever said total scam. This is what you've done to me! We are the children of what you've created.

Don't you get it? I need you to understand, cause We are like your four other kids. You're looking into the face of what you've done. Me. Don't look away. I think I should retire. I don't think you fully realize. When he says you're the only person he watches,

he didn't know who Mr. Beast was. We had Mr. Beast on our podcast, and he said, I've never seen your videos before. Yeah, it's true. That's what he said to Mr. Beast. I never watched Mr. Beast. our podcast and he said, I've never seen your videos before. Yeah, it's true. That's what he said to Mr. Beast. I never watched a Mr. Beast video. We were at his studio. He just winced in pain. I thought that would be unique to say, because who hasn't seen a Mr. Beast video?

Whoa! I've clicked into them, but I gotta admit, I don't get it. There were no motherboards in that video. Have your kids seen a Mr. Beast video? They know who he is. They're not really into it my favorite youtuber my eldest son is super into minecraft i don't think he's particular about exactly what youtuber he watches but

he's more uh trying to learn stuff so he's not really watching like the the weird challenges or whatever he's trying to figure out how to play the game better So more tutorial-y stuff He's almost 12 He's trying to build a TI-84 with Redstone Apparently he's legit Because there was a really short clip Of him playing in one of our videos recently Where I'm like cable managing the house And I'm literally working under the desk where he's gaming

And apparently, I was reading the comments On the video, apparently what he was doing was like Pretty cracked and I'm like oh okay cool That's awesome My kid's wicked cracked It's's great it's good it's good you don't want your kid to be shit at games i'll say that much yeah it'd be embarrassing yeah it's like let's get it together i make youtube videos uh okay i also have a last tweet myself uh yeah uh and this is just me showing appreciation nobody This is just you kissing ass and nobody fucking caring. Well, this is way back, bro.

I didn't know nobody. Damn shit. This is loving the new content from Linus. How'd you end up with a typo in that? Hashtag team blue. Because I was hurt. I was rushed being so excited. Hashtag team blue.

What is team blue? You were participating in some fucking promo. No, you say that all the time. Hashtag team blue? Well, I was just being, I was trying to find my- Hashtag team blue. Hashtag team blue? Well, I was just being, I was trying to find my- Hashtag team blue, hashtag bigger than an iPhone club. Yeah.

Hashtag, hashtag always on. That's what I was doing. What's team blue? It's Intel. Look how disgusted he sounds because you asked that question. What the fuck?

It's your team blue or team red, it's AMD or Intel, it's a whole thing. He's team blue. They're laughing at us, Linus. No, they're not. Being a fan of anything is embarrassing. What the fuck are you talking about?

Being a fan of a computer company is embarrassing. Well, guess what? I made this up. It's not real. Go to the teacher. Oh, wow. So the bit ends now. How convenient that the bit ends now.

It's crazy. You can buckle on your tweet, really? Well, mine said I would kill him with my bare hands and I didn't crash. What was mine? I forget. Your what? There wasn't one for me. I'm just showing you our appreciation in the past for you. Okay, real shit, that tweet about Luke and Linus on the barn, I tweeted that in 2017.

So he actually wants to fuck you guys. I don't want to fuck you guys, I just thought it would be funny to say. To be fucked by us. That's right. And Luke thought it was really funny. You know Luke was the guildmaster of our melee tournament organizer in WoW Classic. So there's a lot more going on than you might

think. He's saying you're connected in so many ways that it wouldn't be weird if you guys had sex. No because Jerry was in Luke's guild. Yeah. So you guys are connected. You, because Jerry was in Luke's guild. Yeah. So you guys are connected. You guys are bonded. I don't actually want to fight. That's good, because I would lose. I don't have any great or tenacity. Don't be afraid.

He would get so tired. I think you would murder him. You'd get tired? I'm scared. Your cardio's probably insane, goat. You have badminton? He's badminton cardio. Do not mispronounce that. I tried to do it how you say it. You say badminton. It has an N in it that I tried to do it How do you say it You say it Badminton It has an N in it Badminton

It has an N in it Badminton Badminton It's like Edmonton Badminton It's like Edmonton Edmonton Look

Look The point is It's an underappreciated sport I think I dust you for a try Is that crazy Yeah it is I think that we get in the badminton court And I think it's like really easy

And I just win Am I crazy Yeah You're insane I think I think that we get in the badminton court, and I think it's really easy, and I just win. Am I crazy? Yeah. You're insane. I think I just dust you. I played in middle school. Do you think he's got a case? Are you going to go to badminton courses nearby?

You know what? I'll play. I'll play. I'm here all day. I think I can do it. I'm here at your pleasure today. It's just easy tennis. I think I've seen you play basketball, and you just would it. I'm here at your pleasure today. It's just easy tennis. I think I've seen you play basketball and you just would lose.

I'm decent. That's never what I thought. I get like fourth picked. That's pretty good. There's like ten people there. Our group is a bunch of last picks who all met up for a day. Look, I'm the best of the last picks. You know what I'm saying?

Is that what you want to be? You're fourth best of the last picks. You want to be best at your house in Smash Bros? Well I didn't think the bit would start to hurt me. I just thought that it would be funny. You guys ever have an oopsie? Make a little accident? What's an oopsie?

Sometimes we have little accidents. Okay, in life we have normal accidents. Of course I do, I'm a human mistake. Last night I fell over my mattress while I was sleeping. You what? Well unfortunately it was some rinky dink mattress I got on Amazon. But lucky for me, I got a Helix mattress now. That's so clutch. The old one's fucked up, but you could get a new mattress,

a hundred-night trial, a hundred free nights on the Helix Sleep mattress to see if you even like it or not. I would love to do that. The thing is, on the website, you can go take a test. It'll tell you, based on if you're a side stomach or back sleeper, which mattress is for you. You take the sleep quiz. They got Lux Elite Collections.

They got the Helix Plus if you're big and tall, which doesn't apply to you. I'm both of those. They got kids mattresses for your little ass fucking kids running around being all annoying and stuff, and many more. 20 unique mattresses. That's actually kind of crazy. I want to take one of these damn quizzes. You guys know how I sleep a little cute.

I sleep my head. You do sleep with your head. I took my quiz He looks midnight luxe cuz I got like I like my side sleep, and it's got that me like my nuts That's not what it says he looks midnight. They won't like that. They won't like that. It's not what he says But I was side sleeping go to good Real shit, I will I will fight anyone in the street sleep here list Let's do a tier side sleep beat to your back sleep street. Sleep tier list.

A tier side sleep. B tier back sleep. C tier stomach sleep. Tummy's bad for you. It's bad for you. It's what babies do. So do you do that? And I sleep like a baby on my Helix Sleep mattress. Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. You can go to

helixsleep.com slash the yard. That's helixsleep.com slash the yard. helixsleep.com slash the yard. It's their's sleep calm he likes like calm slash the Guys please get it get yourself a mat you need a mattress you anything you know what you spend I know you're on that Amazon that Amazon $200 Memory foam thing green tea one the green tea ones like yours time for an upgrade You know what they tell you is spend spend it what you can on everything that separates you from the ground choose tires and mattresses is that real? Chairs that's old wisdom

That's crazy Sleeping on the floor. He needs and that's why I might end up fucking hitting up see like He likes knocking on their damn door so helix.com. Slash the yard. Slash the yard. Linus, what are you sleep on? Archie, get to work.

Do you have beef with any of the other tech channel groups? Do you ever send... Have you ever sent a severed head to Marques? Dude, that's what... I was thinking you might send a guy over to take somebody out on Marques' team to just send a message sometimes. No, I mean, I think overall, the tech community is pretty supportive of each other there are definitely exceptions but

um I have collabed with I don't want to say pretty much everyone because the space has grown so fast that I was at CES this year I hadn't been in a while because COVID and also I just didn't go um but the last couple times I just sent the team. But I was like, screw it, I'm doing CES this year. And man, I couldn't believe how many huge people I ran into. People with 100,000, 500,000, a million subscribers that I hadn't heard of before. And I don't mean this to be like offensive in any way believe it or not i get my tech news from using the product and from talking to the company not

from watching tech videos on youtube so i like i just i don't consume it much um but i couldn't believe how much the space has grown but um you know when it comes to a lot of the a lot of the older players in the space i mean we've collabed with pretty much everyone. Marquez has hired people who worked for me before. There's no bad blood there. We've worked with him very recently. A little bit of poaching. We promoted Marquez's

shoes when those dropped. He promoted our screwdriver when we launched it. You should promote a yard product. Why don't we get you working? You know we carry the bidet. Oh! Why don't we get you working? You know we carry the bidet. The bidet isn't us.

That's Ludwig. Ludwig likes a word called segregation. Hey, whoa, whoa. Rematter 2. What's your product? I mean in his mind. Our product? Yeah.

Like our dope ass fucking merch or like maybe the Sibian. Are any of you wearing it? Sibian? Could be the Sibian. I was wearing it yesterday on my walk. Where's the Sibian? Huh? Where's the Sibian are any of you wearing it Sibian could be the Sibian I was wearing it yesterday on my walk where's the Sibian I couldn't find it we have a Sibian I don't even know what a Sibian is

you bite it and you cum your little head off it's like a machine that you ride it's a $2000 sex machine and we have a yard one it's a semi circle that's a very heavy well constructed base with a dildo on top And it vibrates like crazy and you freaking have a great time. It thrusts in and out really fast. Yeah

It's pretty wild kind of like the bidet It is it's like a reverse bidet. It's like a yeah, it's like a bidet So the bidet is for cleaning up after or like before and after yeah Whatever your world you can probably point it at whatever you want to so would you sell that? yeah whatever your world you can probably point it at whatever you want too so would you sell that um you sell that let me put it this way we had an idea for a merch item um probably about seven or eight years ago um and it was inspired by the fact that i'm a bit of a twitchy gamer like i kind of i i jump scare really easy and i was like what if there's a way for us to harness that um and make it a gaming advantage rather than a disadvantage and we came up with the idea of a usb connected butt plug that you

could bind yo to an input on your computer so it would be like it would be like you get startled and you clench and you're like immediately prone. So you're like using your reactions like... Yeah, like your natural body reaction to like crouch or like... Like roll an Elden Ring when you squeeze your butt cheek. Yeah. Oh, this would be perfect for crouch, canceling, and melee. They could use this in like the military and they could make it like dynamite. They do use this in the military.

And then they make you train to not flinch because if you do, you explode. That's different but also really good. Yeah, good thinking. You have to be encouraging of him, I guess. That's kind of my thing. You said you had this idea. What happened? Well, it's...

Cold feet, huh? Kind of ridiculous, and... What's ridiculous about that? Well, okay, I'll tell you what. If you guys create it, we'll carry it. Well, I'm sorry. Oh my god, yes! Will you wear it? Wait a minute. We'll do it. We'll do it so fast

Came on this show and said I want I want a mold you tell him yeah Do you know him wrath? I don't know her personally. Do you know? Okay, great. We we help you can have her as your AI girlfriend for like some amount, a month or something like that. I think so, yeah. Yeah. And she came on this pod and she said, hey, I want to help people cut their little heads off.

And Aiden actually said, he said. I like doing that. He took out his flag and he said, I will be your soldier. I wanted to be her strongest soldier. Well, you know, using wax and different materials. Silicone, mostly. Silicone made a mold of, you know. They smelted her vagina.

And then sold that. Actually, can you throw that here? We have one. And so you're saying. It's not on sale anymore. I hope you're not joking when you say if you make it, we'll store it. We don't fuck around, bro. We assisted in the creation of this item

And this was also a joke on our podcast and now it's real Real shit yeah So thank you for saying what you said is a legally binding contract We will be making the Linus Tech Tips X Yard butt plug No choice but to carry it Her top hobbies are making hot content and trolling online RGB LED butt plug Zipper says I need that back by the way

Yeah so what do we call it? We'll call it the The gamer online RGB LED butt plug zipper says I need that back by the way yeah so what do we call it we'll call it the the gamer the invasive gamer you're good at names uh little thing you put in your bottle

the button wow I like it put a dash in there the button oh man you can get little like like spider man There's a button they use. There's a button they use to put your butt. Put a dash in there. The butt. The button. Oh man, you can get little like...

Like Spiderman. And then you can get little kitty ears for it. Oh my god, it'd be so good. Oh, like when it sticks out? You could do like a tail of a rat. Tail attachments. Tail attachments. And it's all interchangeable.

Make it interchangeable, yeah. So that way you can have a subscription. Oh dude, he knows the game. That's the game. And they have Wi-Fi. And you get a mystery box. You collab with, you know, Amaranth or whatever, and you get them to, like, make their own tales and stuff like that. And then your partner can get an app on their phone,

and they can control it. We're going to make this. It's going to happen. And you're going to carry it. And you're going to. It's gonna happen. And you're gonna carry it. And you're gonna carry it with you everywhere. That I'm not sure about. They'll give you a little picture of me and you're gonna carry that around. Ooh, we could do lockets.

You could get personalized ones with like acrylic encased like for like Valentine's Day. And then his wife will be like, who's that? Is it me in the locket? And I'll open it, it's me. She's like, who is that? You're only a fish.

And he's like, well, I don't actually remember his name. But we've all been lovewigs friends. And I carry it. He had a Crayshon hat. He had a Crayshon hat. Which I also know. And I'm Linus Sectives. Linus, we did a collab.

Yes, we did. You might remember it. Yeah. You made a... Like a month ago. Yeah. A evil PC. Well pc your mind is yeah pc that tortured me yeah yeah that was pretty good um which you know wasn't i wasn't even mad

because you make all these other youtubers really cool pcs and you made me one that sucks but whatever yeah and you didn't even get to keep it i didn't get to keep it yeah i have you noticed it is one of your most disliked videos recently oh shit i have it was uh it did not perform well why i think it's a combination of factors i think that the thumbnail could have been better um it's always a thumbnail i think that there tends to be um coming back to your point about our audience being having a little bit of redditor syndrome um i think that there is some uh bias against streamers like oh buddy's a streamer um i think that i thought an insult was coming there no Buddy's a streamer. Buddy's a streamer. A streamer? LMAO? Buddy's actually a streamer.

LMAO. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to tell you other than I thought it was hilarious. I thought you were great. Well, you know what's interesting? The Short Circuit video, which is basically just an ad, did amazing. Yep. And it was literally an advert. Yep. And it was just, it was literally an advert. Look, I, we're going through a bit of a, a bit of a, a sentiment crisis. I mean, I don't think it's any secret that we had some controversy last

August and, uh, you know, it's, it's been funny to see how that manifests sometimes. Um, there's obviously not going to be a ton of instances where you can A, B test a before and after of what if we uploaded the same video, but like we did it before and after. But we actually did do that. So we have a video called how to build a PC, the last guide you'll ever need. It has 11 million views. It's like an hour and 45 minutes long. It takes almost an hour to even get to the point where you actually start assembling anything because it's all about all the background knowledge that you need to even select something. So the way people watch this video is really different from the way they watch a typical video. They'll just go and say, okay, how do I pick a RAM kit?

They go to that part, then they skip ahead to how to install RAM and they just like watch those timestamps. So you can really see that in the retention graph, the way people watch it. It's really unique. And we realized that, hey, the last guide you'll ever need is a good idea. But in practice, things change. You know, technology is always moving forward and what we need to do is update it. But rather than reshoot everything for a project that almost killed us, the amount of work that that was, showing every possible choose-your-own-adventure path along the journey of building a custom PC.

It was terrible. So we went, oh, well, realistically, most of that is still right and still the same. So let's just reshoot the parts that have changed and then add some stuff, and we'll re-upload it, How to Build a PC, The Last Guide You'll Ever Need, 2024 update. And in general, the perception has been pretty good. How to build a PC, the last guide you'll ever need, 2024 update. And in general, the perception has been pretty good and it's a slow burn like the first one. But what I've noticed is that there's a lot of comments complaining about why there's so many hosts.

What even is up with that? Because we switch between different members of our team in order to kind of make it a little bit more engaging and kind of, you know, grab your attention back. We understand it's a hour 45 reference, reference video, you know, it's not meant to be entertaining. And what's been really interesting about that is on the first one, the comments were overwhelmingly, I think it's so cool that you have the whole ensemble cast and that like, you know know everyone's kind of involved in it and you switch up the host all the time and we have another one actually where I've done Linus tries gamer gamer beverages and then I tried

influencer foods and we had a very similar approach for both of them where we cut the least interesting stuff and we put it on our on our floatplane platform as an as an extra video and we left the the best stuff in the youtube video and the first time around that's one of our best performing short circuits ever it has millions of views and we uploaded the other one a few days ago and people are pissed they're like how dare you pay waltz and so you know i do think that the team could have done a better i wasn't involved in the in second one, in the edit and in how they kind of structured that. And I think it probably wasn't as clean as the first one.

I think we could have messaged it better. But it's been really interesting to see how we can do the same thing and have a very different perception of it. Isn't that difficult then? Because if you are consistently maybe trying to find a way, whether accurate or not, and tie it back to the viewer sentiment based off controversy, it can be much harder to then grow because it's based off external factors

that are relatively, there's not much you can do about it. As opposed to if it was some internal factor, or maybe you're saying, hey, there are only so many internal factors, we can't change anything we just have to bear down and hope that it gets better yeah we're just we're gonna keep doing what we do right and what we do is always strive for improvement we're always investing in

in better content we recently got a ct scanner we're really excited about it basically it's like an x-ray machine but 3d don't that check if you got lumps um yeah okay yeah that's kind of scary it's like you got a ct scanner like yeah we're gonna isn't that isn't that machine huge ct scanner review it's not a medical ct scan for the consumer ct scan it's not a medical one no so a medical ct scanner revolves around the patient yeah yeah they scan my brain once and i'm read my thoughts I thought that's what you got. Like you're booting this up and it's just

most people Intel just dropped a new CT scanner as that. So instead it's the x-ray emitter is fixed

and then the object rotates and then it exposes on the other side so you can get this 3D scan of the object and because it's you don't have to worry about a screwdriver getting cancer you can you can blast it for a really long time you

can actually look through steel oh wow which is really cool so what does that mean the zipper keep pull up i say sorry continue what does look through steel mean it means that we can uh okay for example this is really cool uh that car video that car upgrade video i was talking about yeah we found out why the power lock um adding kit that we got has complaints online of the actuator failing we ct scanned it and we found that there were bubbles in the mold so their mold wasn't well designed there's bubbles in the plastic and that's why they break cool right oh this is this is, this actually is, this is, it is practical.

This is, this is y'all two talking. I don't know what this is. This is y'all two talking about YouTube. This is Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan having a candid conversation. Likely figuring out all the secrets of the world. Who's who? Well, I mean, you're Joe Rogan. You gotta be Joe. Why am I Joe?

Because Jordan Peterson's Canadian. Yes. And Joe Rogan's American. And Joe Rogan's 5'7", yeah. I think that's about all that either of us has in common with either of them. Equal strength, but outside of that, yeah. Do you read comments? Oh, yeah. To this day?

Oh, constantly. On every channel? There, that's my vice. Ooh, that's down to fucking talking, Linus Tech Tips. Do you look at your creator page, your one through ten, and feel shame if it's ten? Of course. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's just like us.

Because Ludwig doesn't read comments. No, I read comments. Sometimes, Linus, we have a really funny episode, and I'm like, wow, we were so funny all day. And then I go, and it's an 8 out of 10. Stinky 8. And I'm like, what does that mean? We're a comedy podcast. What does it mean that the funny ones don't get views? It means you're not funny. It means you're shit.

No, no, it can't be that. It can't be that. It means your parents don't even like you. They like me. They do like me. Unfortunately, he's right about this, guys. They got divorced because they love me. It means that maybe if you invest- They got divorced because they love me, not because they didn't.

It means maybe if you invested in a decent fucking mic arm for your guest- Oh, come on! People would watch your podcast- No, I get- Sorry, I- Don't think I don't see you guys shifting around, getting comfortable, moving your mic all easily like that. You like that shit? Look what I get.

Yeah, because you're in our house! You're- Our house. And we only bought four of the ones that we have. Because we didn't think we'd have guests on our show. I basically am using a Mad Catz controller, and y'all got first party. Yeah, and it keeps your bones and posture straight. Yeah, we just want you to have good posture.

But look at your chair. Here's the nicest chair in the room. You have the nicest chair. It's an old airplane seat. So you read the comments, It's so interesting to me because I think Ludwig always criticize it. Well, you'll like scan them and like... I do once over, but then I like to move on instantly. Like I uploaded a video on Mogul Mill yesterday.

It's being received horribly. It's performing horribly. Cool. I know this, but there's nothing I can do at this point. Yeah. So I've just moved on with my life. Hey, if you're watching this episode right now now leave a comment about your Opinion on Linus tech tips as you know a media group and a channel and maybe just put like all of your realest emotions active ones to Important to start writing tell people on the internet to not think and just start writing

It's important to start writing. You have to tell people on the internet to not think and just start writing. Boom. Get owned, y'all. And you get it going, and then we'll go through it. So you're going to read? I'll read the comments. Sure, why not? I will say I do read comments more when I'm on other people's channels.

Like I read more of Linus's comments. I'm sorry to hear that. Why is that? Because I think it is an audience that I know less about. And like my comments, when I put a new fucking video It's like timestamps zero zero zero and then end of the video and that'll be the first one It's like damn Ludwig always fucking puts out all his dick and balls for us There's like eight repeat comments. So the first like six hours just bullshit

Yeah, we all we always get damn only ten views yard fell off only 10 views in one minute damn this fell like it's like there's no fucking point reading it for the first six hours but but when i'm on linus channel and when i'm on short circuit it's like damn why was this uploaded why is this a video damn bro's a streamer or's like, well, it's more because we were showing our bare underwear bottoms. Did you see this video? No, I didn't. No, it's great. It's actually great.

Are you proud of seeing the erotic content together? That was not my idea. We reviewed the swipe bidet, and I went into Linus' studio, and they said, all right, take off your pants. And then they said, put on this Linus underwear. And then I said, no, I said no no in front of us Slower and then I sat on a toilet in the toilet had a GoPro in it All true, and then I sprayed my asshole with through my underwear. That's like a great video

No, no that one didn't be crushed Most section is probably right yeah, and then you guys sold out of the bidet actually do you have the retention graph for that? I can yeah, I would love to see imagine. There's a spot I can for sure zipper. Can you pull up that video real quick? It's short-circuit Short-circuit dubbing ass. I think it's a lot of I think or K Watch something somewhat such a pop of asses the title is you might feel a little pressure there it is

whoa it's very literary yeah they do pretty literary titles I wanna do those do they work you know what I titled the video

the other day I always liked artistic titles and then I was told to never do that again there's Dubbin in his stupid Boston shirt

oh yeah you can see the biggest spike where do you think he's from? Yeah, there you go. Use that version because realistically, my version of it in the mobile app,

I can't click it. So that's actually not a dark cloud on the right. That is my ass and my hole. Why is it so scary looking? Because there's no light except for the giant LEDs. Oh, that makes sense it should be lit in there it is lit in there but it's just like leds and then also it's dark purple so it's just a harder color to see look at line do you like it do linus's butt it's brighter i think it's a

little later yeah those same shorts i work out in those shorts what's funny is no you don't the i do those are ltt strawberry underwear. Yeah, they're not shorts. Okay, mine are from Target. We got hacked about a year ago, and in our video about it, Dennis, whose job is to censor my naked junk,

he put a strawberry over me as I'm running naked down the stairs to deal with the channel hack, and so we released strawberry underwear Expecting it to make it High enough it hits the bar. I mean caught some of the water You make the pressure high enough it hits the button. I bet you caught some of the water.

I've got the Swipe Plus at home, okay? I'm used to warm water. That was hooked up to... It was hooked up to a hose. Surry-ass cold water. You know what? The funny thing about bidets, I've gone through the whole world.

We started out, we had the $30 one, and then I had the... It literally got us all the really, really nice one for Christmas and the warm water in the seat. And then I went, and then I got like the bit that literally got us all the like the really really nice one for Christmas and like the warm water in the seat and then I went and then I got a new place and I'm like

you know what let's go back to our roots and now I've got the hose just the fucking the put the thumb over the hole give me all the pressure wait what

sometimes yes the cold he has a high pressure bidet I have the $30 beyond the summit bidet in my house oh okay

cause I'm like fuck it give me the Summit bidet in my house. Oh, okay. Because I'm like, fuck it. Give me the fucking real shit like my ancestors used to be. That's just the regular swipe. Yeah, exactly. I think the nice thing with that one is the pressure in the cold water. You're never worried the job isn't done. Oh, yeah. I mean, it definitely power washes it off.

I don't like that. I don't have an issue where it's so caked on. It's a power washer. I've had to take a tea break from the pressure to get to feel pressure again tolerance break I see it starts to numb your butt

because it's so much pressure and you stop smoking weed so you can get high later you get up some orange slices he's saying his ass was so desensitized because he sprayed it so hard that he needed to stop spraying it so he could feel in his asshole again.

That's pretty good and hard. So it's pretty good what you were saying, but actually warm water works way better for cleaning than cold water. It's true. No, because power is more than heat. Power is more than it. Most of the time. Force beats everything, even the heat.

She is lower than power. It's more than it. Most of the time. Force beats everything, even the heat. And also... She is lower than power. It's lower than power. And you should know that. You should know that as a computer guy. I like the warm, but I don't mind... I don't care what you do with your asshole, I should say. You're a diplomat, and you're always going to say that.

You're always going to say what will sell the most units. He's got two products to sell. He doesn't take stances. He's got the thing that you like. He's got the thing that I like. I don't think he's going to take a stance. Hold on. Why would he take a stance?

Why would you take a risk ever in your life? Be brave. You're saying take a stance, hot or cold? I'd say go hot. Okay. I don't factor. Definitely pick the hot one. It's way better.

Thank you. See how I have to drag the honesty out of him? I have to squeeze it out like black tar. Well, that's okay. I mean, you can counter that. You can be like, I'd love to, just pay me more. Well, I love doing this. I quit.

He did quit. He used to work for me. He was my first employee. He's my first employee. He quit. I built everything. He did a lot for his tenure, but he's quit for a while. I built the entire empire, brick by brick. Quickbooks line by QuickBooks line.

Do you want him? This is good. No. What the fuck, dude? Do you have any idea how much work it is to import an American? No. I think he'd be such a good researcher. I have to do a labor market impact analysis.

You have to have some kind of meaningful credentials. Oh, I got those. Do you? You got a master's degree? You can hire me. I have an undergrad degree in English. Wow, yeah, we don't have any people who speak fucking English in Canada.

Typical STEM lord shitting on a liberal arts young street soldier. Hey, look, I don't even have a degree. I have a question. How big is your team that does thumbnails? Is it just one person, two person?

Is it a human being or is it several occasionally other people will contribute but it is pretty much maria okay do you have one dedicated thumbnail person you got like 13 editors yeah the amount of editors is crazy they were all in the office working at the same time editors and i was like couldn't be us my one of my editors he only edits in uh like a 24 hour period and he'll sleep under the desk he edits and then and then he'll just stop editing for like a day or two to like recoup from the overwhelming pressure he put on himself interesting that's i mean that's an approach that's polite what was an interesting manager in the way that he doesn't really like to manage.

But when things go wrong, he'll be like... And then I'll have a talk. And then that's it. But he's definitely a laissez-faire. I'm very laissez-faire. If you have the goon cave... Polite works out of a goon cave. Do you know what a goon cave is?

No. Oh. A goon cave. Interesting, because you've reviewed so many monitors. Dude, you have contributed to so many human beings' goon caves You have actually no idea Yeah Like, gooners are fans

You should do a video, this'll blow You should do a reviewing your goon cave Maybe I do know this Isn't it just like the place you masturbate or something like that? I mean, many would call it a temple Not just a place Yeah, it's more like the shrine It's a shrine

I'm telling you, that 52 by 9 monitor that's not just for signage you'd think they all have vasectomies in there no they don't they don't because they want to pass on their goon their goon her head 52 by 9 monitor 3-4 porn stretched oh okay yeah shot a back shots only shit it looked like one of those weird Costco hot dogs look like a cow backshot Wednesdays Holiday Canadian citizen you can just hire me. There's no paperwork She doesn't seem enticed look. I don't know what you guys do. I didn't even know you don't work here

He brought the amaranth. I run his merch business. I run the I'm the one who manages the bidets and a couple employees that help handle that. Thank you. Good job.

Yeah, we did a good job. Shout out to Mike, who does a wonderful job. He did a good job. I was like the old scrappy upstate Yeah, we did a good job. Shout out to Mike, who does a wonderful job. He did a good job. Did a great job. I'm like, I was like the old scrappy up. Have you seen the social network? I know Aiden has. Most Canadians have seen it. Yeah, yeah, I've seen it.

I'm like the old scrappy, like we started this thing together. Yeah, and then you got forced out. You got Zuckerberg. He's Andrew Garfield, and his shares were diluted. And I'm not coming for 1% asshole. And so we had that conversation. That's Eduardo.

That's actually Dawson. That is Dawson. He wants his points on the package. And then he cut me out. Cut him out. We fought in a parking lot. You fought in a parking lot.

Was there a security camera? Does this footage exist? It doesn't. It only exists in the hearts and the minds of whoever was there. Any warriors who dared travel to the battlefield. not many people dared and uh and i won so it was it was it was hard but i won and i got my piece i have a question for you peace back yeah because for

not for you ludwig not for you for our guests for our guests for most i would say for most youtubers and streamers or anybody in this space there's an understanding that your career has a cycle or that you realistically curve yeah you're realistically going to be done doing the thing you're doing within a set period of time right but you've already exceeded that normal period of time that most of these people go through and you've a very different type of uh evergreen content so when you think about your career do you think like 20 30 years from now is ideally you're still running linus media group and like making videos about tech i don't think

it's realistic um i i i've i've had this conversation a lot of times everyone succumbs to the curve um you can't you can't to the left yes sir you can't be popular forever because like look i don't even know i don't even know half the fucking slang you guys are using. Like, it's, I've become. I did call you a jit. Once you are successful, you're no longer relatable. And so, you know, some people manage it. I mean, people seem largely pretty happy for Taylor Swift, for example.

You know, there's the haters out there, and she sings about them and stuff, I guess, but by and large, people seem pretty happy for her to join the B list. Right. Um, but I, I don't think that, I don't think that as people were actually capable of being happy for someone else's success. And I think that we're conditioned that way, uh, by the fact that a lot of people achieve success by stepping on the heads of other people. And so I think that we look at anyone who's been successful and we go, okay, well, they must have cut some throats to get there. And I think the whole thing is really complicated.

But at the end of the day, no one can be successful forever. I think it also puts a toll on you. I remember having a conversation with um i don't really like naming names but with a youtuber who's very large on the platform at a time when they were still quite young and uh and and and killing it and sure they would kill it forever and they're still doing great but um i remember saying something like yeah but it's tiring and they were like they didn't believe me and now how do you know when it's time to wind it down um it's funny i was at um matt pat's retirement party yesterday oh shit and i wrote on his guest book, I wrote congratulations because, you know, I feel like, um, I feel like he has done what should be the goal, the best that we can do because we can't stay relevant forever.

And what he's managed to do is he's managed to create something that can stay relevant beyond his own involvement. That's what I'd like to achieve. And I think that as long as I am not able to go out on top, go out on a high, I'm not there yet. So I've still got work to do. But yeah, I have a ton of admiration for what he's done, what his team has done. And if my team can get there, and they're world class, I think we can get there if my team can get there. I think that gracefully bowing out when everything's going great and when the team's ready to carry the torch is the ideal exit. So you're basically not even trying to go as the curve goes down, but maybe have some uptick in the curve. And then be like, okay, this is good. This can be momentum for the company to continue.

this is good. This can be momentum for the company to continue. I can leave, maybe be involved in some ways to curb some things in the future, but hopefully that continues to persist. I would hope so. I think I'm the same. Sorry?

I'm the same. Yeah. Guy who's sunsetting. It's interesting at the idea of YouTube channels becoming similar to TV shows, like the Jeopardy host changing, although under different circumstances. Jeopardy hosts or Blue's Clues is a very common example. For me, I can't do that, right?

No one else can take over the Ludwig channel, except for maybe Nick Yingling, which she'd be electric. Yeah, that would be a saga. But that's why I'm hoping to do that with Offbrand similarly, where it's able to continue as a company without having to do any Ludwig events. And that's, I guess, my LMG or game theory.

Let me ask you both a question. What do you admire about each other as creators and what do you dislike about each other as creators? Whoa. Have you even seen one of my videos? Luke sent me... Luke is his Nick Engling, by the way. He sent me the one where you kept getting shown...

I'm going to stop you right there. The video he sent you is called Top 10 Salty Ice Climber Moments it is not my video, it is Sly's video it's my video it's not even his video, it's mine the only video you've seen of me is his video did you like it?

I didn't really get it. Well, okay. I'll explain it for the uninitiated. Yeah, no, I mean... When Ludwig was coming up as a streamer and me and him and Nick lived together, he would have a door that was really easy to open. And in the early days,

he's getting 100, 200, 300 viewers. He's getting there. Oh, my God, he's growing. He's getting there. I would come in with my balls out because we did this all the time. This is way before stream. This is a thing we like to do. Hey, check it out what I'm holding.

Look, damn, I got a million dollars in cash. And it's not. It's my balls. And so I did that so many times. I actually collected the moments that it would happen. Because you can see his reaction on stream. I'm obviously not on stream. And that's why they're my salty ice climbers.

Yeah. Because they're small. And then eventually he put a picture of his balls under my keyboard. Yeah. And I told him to watch the video on stream. And then I said, check under your keyboard. And then he did. And then I kept it on my desk.

And then one day I leaked his balls. Because I filmed my desk by accident. That's the kind of mistakes he likes to make. He also leaked his credit card number like a hundred times. And his own balls. He did do that. Well, I didn't leak my own balls. But anyway, that was that. So your favorite video is mine. To answer your question, I don't know if he

can give me a compliment. I think you are, what I said to Yvonne on the way over here is I think you are an S tier personality. I think that there, what I said to Yvonne on the way over here, is I think you are an S-tier personality. I think that there's no question that you could kind of be dropped into pretty much any situation, and you could make it entertaining. Vietnam? Vietnam, 1960s.

I don't know, are you going to go blackface like Robert Downey Jr.? Can you make that work? I mean, if it worked for him i feel like it can work for someone else it is amazing that that movie exists it's great and he got away with it he did it is insane i saw it in i do not i do not understand he's the only one i do not understand any of that he's made it look i'm, I'm not American, right? Like, I don't, I don't, I kind of follow your politics a little bit. Yeah, your guy actually did this. Like, I didn't know

where to go. Hold on, now I'm trying to figure out, there is another guy who got away with this. Bring me to thought, he's someone who got away with it, and he's pretty high up on the game. Got away with it. More than once? I'm talking about JT. Sheesh. Okay. Yes.

All right. So what do you think? Ask your personality. What do you dislike about him as a creator? I mean, there's nothing to really dislike. I haven't watched a ton of the videos. I don't consume YouTube a lot. I don't really have time.

What do you dislike about him as a person? What do I dislike? What's his worst quality? Even if he has a lot of good ones. It kind of reminds me of myself a little. That's bad? Well, like... The bad parts of you? Yeah.

No, I mean, I just mean like it's... I don't know. I've said this a lot. Like when I meet other YouTubers, and I'm lumping you in with us, the streamer or whatever. You have 5 million subscribers on YouTube. You're a YouTuber.

When I meet other YouTubers, I'm often struck by how how different you know our stories are and how different what we do is and yet how similar we all are like we're all kind of cut from the same cloth yeah and and a lot of it is just like that obsessiveness and that that drive um it can get unhealthy and like all that kind of stuff like i think there's i think people watching from from the comfort of their homes you know i think youtuber is like the number one or number two aspirational career for american kids now or something like that and it's like uh i hope that you understand it means hustler it means it means don't sleep sometimes um and and it's funny to see kind of these concurrent cultural trends, right?

Like you've got lying flat in China. You've got like the negativity toward the grind set, right? With the younger generation. On the other hand, they're like, I want to be a YouTuber. It's like, okay, sure. Good luck with that, buddy. I think this happens with a lot of like we we all worked in in esports production for a while and i think being in the gaming space

in general a lot of people have a they they see this thing that they like that they're passionate about and they're like i'm gonna go work in that thing and people don't think past what that actually means like what the day-to-day job of doing that thing is actually like in the same vein of like uh thinking something like being a doctor or an investment banker would be cool like the underlying idea and like work behind what those things take is is uh often a nightmare one of luke's relatives again i'm not going to name the specific one but he told me this story and it really struck me uh one of luke's relatives loves animals and thought i'm gonna i'm gonna work in a veterinary hospital and uh i think she quit on her second day when they asked her to carry out the carcasses of uh some euthanized dogs oh and it's like yeah

obviously that's a pretty poignant example of what what you're saying first week they're making them do that who else gonna do that's pretty brutal but yeah wait till month one at least somebody's gonna do it get on it we got a couple carcass we were just euthanizing for fun we're practicing our euthanizing yeah so there's the everything has has its upsides but everything has its its darker sides well i think what makes youtube more uh rewarding to devote your life to is that there's so much more upside and you also have so much more control as opposed to like you know if you grind a investment baking job or like i guess really any job where you're beholden to basically how much your boss likes you and how much upwards

growth there is potentially a lot of autonomy out of it yeah so i think i think ultimately that's like uh you know why people who are maybe more down to devote their lives would find it more rewarding the challenge though is that you do still have a boss and your boss is still an asshole and the challenge is that you have millions of them i sent this uh so so that short circuit with the gamer food, we cut out the stuff for the exclusive on Floatplane. I sent this to the guys who worked on it. It's two comments back to back. Are you kidding me?

Are you for real now? Floatplane, you say, huh? Unsub and never coming back. Next comment. Short circuit, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, five dots. 16 minutes, dot,. Dot dot dot dot dot. Five dots. Sixteen minutes. Dot dot dot dot dot dot. How do you define short?

So it's like, which one do you want us to cut it down? What do you want? I'm going to call that shit just long circuit because it doesn't make sense because it's sixteen minutes. It bends to the left a little bit. Circuit. How about you call that shit just long circuit? Because it doesn't make sense because it's 16 minutes. No, they did it circuit.

Call it circuit. Ben's to the left a little bit. Circuit. So, yeah, so it's tough, right? Because the bigger you get, the more you're pulled in a million different directions. You can't please everybody, right? So, yeah, it's a challenge. Well, I haven't done it yet, if I can.

So, I will say what I don't like about you off-rip, your vasectomy't like that you don't like i don't like that you did it i don't like that you can't pump i want you to pump more dude he can't we answer this at the very beginning it's just the same it's the same i refuse to believe you guys look at risk of being a little graphic which doesn't seem to be a problem with you guys do you have any idea how much easier it is to come without a condom well you know yeah i jerk off with that one all the time it's okay we'll try jerking off with a condom on sometime i do that too i do that really though it is way harder okay on weird beat Wednesday, I always wear a condom. And I try different ones.

Last week was sheepskin. And it's clown videos only. I'm just saying, if you've had all your kids, it's a 15 minute procedure. I'm not going to like it. You can't convince me. It's a 15 minute procedure. Don't fuck with it. Look, the snake ain't got no venom in it.

And I don't mind that. I wish you had poison. I wish you had venom. I wish you had venom. He wants you to poison him with your seed. I don't mind that. I wish you had poison. I want you. I wish you had venom. I wish you had venom. He wants you to poison him with your seed. I don't need it. I don't need it. I got all my kids.

I'm done. And what I like about you is something that you might refute and you might say it's not good, but I like your transparency as a creator and your maybe openness, vulnerability, however you'd like to phrase it about how some of the inner workings work not too different from the comment you brought up which has stuck with you about how what was it oh and you said tech tech wiki makes no money yeah yeah something like that is very transparent and i think most creators aren't aren't like that and as a creator and even when i was like a little creator it's fun to see creators talk about that stuff because you don't get to see behind the curtains right you have borrowed

that a lot you're very uh you're very upfront with people but i do it because the creators who i like also do it and sometimes i even like maybe judge creators who don't do it but i understand i'm holding them to like maybe an unfair standard. No, it's your standard, which is always fair. Welcome. That's not... Welcome to my mind! That is your mind, but I do think it is my standard, but that's not necessarily the standard I should hold people to. I think it might have been a mistake to be as transparent.

I knew he was going to say it, though. I knew he was going to say that. As transparent as we have been. Sure. Because now we're held to this sort of ridiculous standard of transparency that doesn't necessarily make sense. That not other people, other people don't abide to,

abide to, you know, like Mr. Beast got away with something. He, he had a, he had a video. He killed that guy. Yeah.

Well, the guy for sure. He got away with that. He watched the life leave his eyes. He murdered a man of cold blood in the parking lot. It was with us. But the other thing that he got away with is he made this video in an abandoned city. And then it came out.

I was like, hey, actually, the city wasn't abandoned. There's a bar three minutes away. Dude, he got Twitter notes. He got community noted. Yeah. Yeah, because apparently the city wasn't abandoned. He just rented it out. And you don't need a helicopter to go there.

You can just drive there. Kind of. He kind of juiced it up a bit. He wasn't very transparent about that to make the video a little more exciting. But he's able to get away with that because he's not necessarily known for that transparency. But I would never get away with that.

No, you would be much more criticized. And the problem that I have is that a lot of the time people are making assumptions and thinking that we got away with something when actually we were completely transparent the whole time. And I feel like we've set ourselves up for that to happen a little bit by being transparent because people are very cynical. And I think that being cynical back to Redditor syndrome has become the norm and has become cool in certain communities on the internet. And I think that by being transparent,

by talking about all our challenges and all of our problems, people make the assumption has become cool in certain communities on the internet. And I think that by being transparent, by talking about all our challenges and all of our problems, people make the assumption that if that's what I'm saying, it's got to be that. Imagine what's going on behind the scenes. Imagine the oppressive, abusive workplace they have. But similarly, you must also have an overwhelmingly large group of people who actually just appreciate it, and you have a much closer connection with that audience than maybe a

YouTuber who's not transparent. Yeah. You know what? That's what I would have said prior to last August, but they still exist. Yeah. They stay, they still exist,

but it's been, um, it's been very challenging watching that difference in sentiment. Sure. Um, and not as vocal perhaps. Yeah. It's, it's it's uh you're kind of going out on a limb you're you're putting your own neck on the line to defend linus

media group these days right and so maybe it's easier to be quiet and watch than be loud and watch because being loud is maybe more trouble than it's worth yeah hmm do you think that when your hardcore viewers come over to watch uh this episode and it starts with dj racist do you think that when your hardcore viewers come over to watch this episode and it starts with DJ Racist, that'll win them back? No. No? Wow. What? Maybe that was a mistake.

We are good. Well, you know what? We've reached our time. Why don't we cap it off, DJ Racist? Why don't we bookend the experience? Really? cap it off. DJ racist. Why don't we bookend the experience? Oh! DJ racist, take it away.

I've listened to the radio more in the 80s. Okay, cool. So now you're DJ racist and I'm your guest. You're still DJ racist. He does the noise. You're still the racist. I'm a button you press. That's it.

I know where the button is. Okay. Well, hey, DJ Racist says goodnight to you and your children, and make sure you spend time together with your family. Because DJ Racist is a complex figure. Believing traditional family values. The traditional family values. All right.

We'll see you in the Patreon where DJ Racist is doing a live set thank you all any final shout outs thoughts um hopefully

my team doesn't watch this and go oh my god I can't believe he said that and if I did then uh

I'm sorry like I'm sure my boss is gonna watch this you know I have a CEO now. Oh, yeah. I know you have a CEO. He's like 100% going to watch this. He's going to be like, dude, what the fuck?

And also to the Linus team, unlimited PTO. Yeah, he told us. What's up, dude? Oh, with us? With us. Yeah, bro. We do whatever we want. I fucking last week.

Are you kidding me? Dude, you do whatever you want. You don't even work here. I know. That's why I'm just kidding. We don't watch here. Yeah, because it's what it is. Flex, dude. Yes don't even work here. I know. Flexed.

Yes. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye.