The Yard - Ep. 15 - We flew 10,000 miles to film the podcast

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

DiGiorno! This episode the boys fly 6000 miles to the beautiful countryside in Italia. Discussions include Italian Plan B, Slime not leaving the hotel room, and Ludwig's adventures riding around the city streets on a Vespa.

🎵 Oh! How did we get that? Welcome to the yard, everybody. Today we're... Why are you guys laughing? This is how Italian chairs work. It's like how Tom and Jerry happens.

Yeah, so we're here in Italy. Tell you what. Go get a new chair. We'll bring it in. And you go get a new chair, you fucking just large motherfucker. Do you want that one? Oh, no. Dude, I've never felt better.

That someone else's fat. Yeah. Now he's the fattest in the room. You're the fat one now. You're a gigantic, huge boy. It's just a staple. I'm sure it'll be fine. Speaking of, by the way, welcome to the yard. Just tell the person we're renting from that a fat American sat in it. I had this bit at the old house where I'd go up to Eamon,

and I'd be like, oh, you're a little fat boy. You're a fat boy. And I'd run up to him like a goblin. I hated this bit. You don't know the bit? You never heard it? So he would do this in the old house where he would do that like Gollum, and he would get down on close to all fours like Gollum

and chase me around the house. That's insane. I'm not kidding. It evokes some primal fear in me. He really hates it. It's disturbing. I have no idea if I'm in frame. I was framed for that chair.

You got to match up where it was, right? It's funny if he's out the whole time because he fucking did that. Yes, it is. Don't be vain. Zipper two. Am I in frame? Don't be vain. All right, what's up?

Welcome back. We have socks on our mics. You have a lot of questions, probably. A couple answers. We have socks on our mics because there's wind. And we didn't pack or prepare for this at all. I'm using Aiden's sock because I didn't bring any. Yeah, so Ludwig had to choose between Aiden's and my sock.

He chose Aiden's, but his was wet. So now you have an ice cream cone. Dude. Second thing going on. I have this on my head because I'm bald and the sun injures my skin. Yeah. And I don't have a hat. I didn't know that.

That's crazy. That's why I'm doing that. It injures your skin? Well, I just want to sunburn my head, you know? Oh, okay. I got to keep this fresh for my whole life. Fair enough. But hair does that naturally for you assholes.

Pussies. Hey, right here, buddy. Anyway. Very nice. Continue. Look, we're in Italy right now. Yeah. Yeah, we fucking made it.

The shit's fucking pretty. Welcome to Italy. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, man. Oh, look at that fucking spider,. The shit's fucking pretty. Welcome to Italy. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, man. Oh, look at that fucking spider, dude. Look at that shit. Oh my god.

Don't let him touch your foot. Oh, dude, that's pretty big. Dude, wait, let's chase it towards zipper two. No, no, no, no, no, no. Zipper two will fucking freak out. Zipper two is not ready. He does not like spiders. Don't be afraid.

That's a pretty big spider, honestly. Don't be afraid. What are you, Kingdom Hearts line? Sora. Goofy. Just put that bowl over it. No, we're outside. We have to respect this.

I miss my old chair. So shut the fuck up. So I've been doing this thing where I'll turn to Nick every, like, hour interval on the trip and just say, Luca Brasi. And it's a Luca Brasi. I think you're underestimating yourself. You do it much more than every hour.

No. Yeah, you do. You know what's really funny is since you've watched The Godfather and you've been saying this a bunch leading up to the trip

while we're here Zipper 2 has also been saying it a bunch. Zipper 2 has been in the Airbnb You're infectious. Luca Brasi.

She follows suit. You're like Pikachu and then Z, she... Luca Brasi. She follows suit. You're like Pikachu and then Zipper 2's Pichu. Yes, that's exactly it. So... This is the Italian all right, man. Luca Brasi.

Luca Brasi. I was, yeah, like... I was explaining my uncomfort at Ludwig and being public, in public in, like, Florence, for instance,

where we were staying. This is, like, a different spot, which is way farther away, for instance, where we were staying. This is like a different spot, which is way farther away, which is more pretty. Tuscany Hills. Where they make wine. Ludwig,

he'll be like a little too obnoxious in a way that I feel is disrespectfully the Italian people. No. Where he'll be like, he'll be walking down the street

and be like, hey! Hey, I'm in Milwaukee in the street. I don't do that. That's what you do. Okay, what do you do then? I go like, hey, ciao! do that. That's what you do. Okay, what do you do then? I go like, hey, ciao.

No, that's not what you do. You do, buongiorno di giorno. That's what you do. Which is more polite than saying ciao. Buongiorno di giorno? That's how they say tomato, tomato here. It's not. It's say, buongiorno di giorno.

It's like good day of day. It's like a nice, you know. Literally every single Italian viewer we've ever had is clicking out right now. Hey. They're all gone. I'm so sorry. No, they appreciate and respect what I'm doing. And I'm allowed to do this because I'm French.

Because French and Italy have a rivalry. So if someone asks, I just go out. If anything, you are the person who can't. Because you have the rivalry. Yeah. No, it's why it makes sense. They're like, oh, he's not an obnoxious American. He's just French.

He's an obnoxious. No, he's an obnoxious. He's like a dick French prick he's like an ordained dick you know like people who are assholes and you go oh it's just slime no one says that have you ever said that?

about me? surely Nick has not said that well have you said that? so we're here in Italy, right? We've been here a few days so far. We've all been having a really good time here.

Anthony especially. Yeah, here's a fun survey to play at home, guys. All right, cue the music. Now here's a three trivia choice question. Has slime in Italy been A, enjoying the historical sights, B, going shopping, or C, sleeping all day and watching Squid Game? Vote on your phones now. Archie, if you could put a graphic down bottom with all the choices.

Yeah, the answer was, of course, C, sleeping and watching Squid Game, which he has finished in its entirety. Are you enjoying this? Good game. Are you enjoying just being inside and watching Squid Game? Yes. Here's why. Because I left, I did a couple things. I saw some sites, I bought a jacket. But like, I went home

to the place we're staying and I just like chilled out and watched Squid Game. And like, you guys did all this shit and then I went out to dinner. I'm just doing it at my own pace, which makes me a lot happier. This is also way less of a stress ball than I had anticipated, which I think is really nice. I don't know if you're being more

considerate because of it, or you're just better as a person towards me, not your girlfriend. Ultimately, this is my favorite part so far, because this is really sick and beautiful. Dude, this place is fucking sick. And I'm Italian.

We got here like an hour ago. I wanted to ask you because my impression up until you told us literally right now was that you were having a bad time yeah really yeah no i think yeah i can assume that you would think that and that makes sense when i walk in and you're sleeping from two to six p.m that's me having a good time i didn't know that if i'm comfortable and sleeping with my little stuffed sloth, then I'm good. I assumed you were trying to fast forward Elder Scrolls style to get to your leaving.

I just can't imagine that if you were having a bad time, you'd be awake and doing stuff. What does your bad time look like if your good time is sleeping? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's a good question. Well, sleep is, well, what did Noss say, for instance? Yeah. It's ill-matic.

He did say that. It's the cousin of death. And that's all right, man. All right, man. Sure. Yeah, well, you're having a good time. That's great. No, that's great.

You've been a great sleeping partner, too. Yeah. Dude, I got a huge, I got the hardest, fattest boner the other night when I was sleeping next to you and I was like they're sitting together on a pull out yeah and I woke up

and I was like fuck dude I hope like I didn't like bump Aiden with my absolutely fat dick it's not that fat

you don't know what my heart you keep bringing up that fat bro you are emphasizing it like you could be in porn dude

my well I mean I'm starting to consider it maybe talked about it one time me and Ludwig I can't remember what we were at some smash event or something Emphasizing it like you could be in porn. Dude, my... Well, I mean... I'm starting to consider it, maybe. Talked about it. One time, me and Ludwig, I can't remember what... We were at some smash event or something, and we were sharing a bed together. And in the middle of the night, I just went into pure boyfriend mode.

And I rolled over, and I, like, put my arm around him. I put my arm around him, and I got really close to him. And I was, like, big spooning the shit out of him. And then I went like this. Like a movie. I, like, opened my eyes really wide. So I was, like, feeling the body. I was feeling the body the shit out of him. And then I went like this, like a movie. I opened my eyes really wide, so I was feeling the body. I was feeling the body, and I'm like,

this feels a little different. Yeah, that's definitely different. I look up, I see Ludwig, and I just slowly roll out and then resume back to my flat position. And I wasn't, to this day, I was not sure if you woke up or not. I was sitting there scarred.

I was like, what does this mean? What does this mean for our friendship now? Does he love me? What am I meant to, to this day, was not sure if you woke up. I was sitting there scarred. I was like, what does this mean? What does this mean for our friendship now? Does he love me? What am I meant to do with this information? That's like, I've had the exact opposite experience in like clubs where some guy will be behind you and he'll start rubbing his ass up on you because he thinks you're like a girl.

Okay, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's like the reverse. I'm like, I'll like, yeah, somebody's like touching my ass and I'll look behind me and it's a guy who's just like not looking at me. So he's probably just thinks he's like, yeah, somebody's like touching my ass and I'll look behind me and it's a guy who's just like not looking at me. So he's probably just thinks he's like, maybe I just have a very feminine ass. That guy goes home and tells his boys like, dude, I was fucking mean, this hot chick.

She was like 6'3". And you know, in Italy they make them a little taller and masculine. Short hair though, it's like hot short hair. It's like hot short hair. Halle Berry style. There is something that has occurred, you know, amongst, well, not amongst the group. Well, among us. Among us, if you will.

There is someone among us, and it has to do with the Italian word for bee. Yeah, okay. Aiden, you kick us off. All right. Yeah. Luca Barazzi. Yeah, Plan Barazzi. Plan Barazzi.

Plan Barazzi. And it's just a baby Dumbass baby Getting killed Plan B in Italy is where the baby is born And then you choke it out This is a very Catholic Country The pope looks over approvingly because you let it be born

Yeah he's like good shit Now get rid of it The dumpster's out back Anyway Eamon please explain how this came about We were going to A wine tour yesterday Because you know we're We're into that

Which was awesome It wasn't even a wine tour It was like riding a Vespa through Tuscany Hills and then taking pictures and then riding back. And I love, I'm gonna buy a Vespa now. Buy a Vespa for me now. I think it's actually I've talked about it when you

mentioned this. I think it actually solves a lot of your problems with your day to day. I want a Vespa with a side cart. Oh and I can be your bear. I can be your side bear. And you have like the old leather helmet and and I can be your bear? Yeah. I can be your side bear? Yeah, and you have like the old leather helmet and goggles. Dude, I'm on board. Yeah.

I want one of those. Yeah, it was really cool. Like the guy, so there's a guy you meet up with and he drives like the van that we're all in

that takes you to the winery. Super cool guy. Like he was really, really funny to talk to. He was very funny. He goes around and he asks everyone's job, right? Yeah. And he hits and like he hits everyone else and like i'm a youtuber he's like

oh cool yeah yeah then he's cutie and cutie's like oh uh i'm a twitch streamer and he pauses he goes hey only fans she was telling us that she was she was so upset i'm like yeah that does suck it was the way it was the way he said it, though. He was like, I'm ready! She asked him, which I was surprised, because he's, I think he was like 39. He's like a 39 Serbian guy. Super cool, right? And, well, maybe not for this.

But he was wonderful the rest of the day. Super cool, chill-ass homie. But she asked him, like, do you know about Twitch? Which is like, I think in the circumstance we're in, this guy, no shot he knows. And he's like, yeah, I do know about Twitch. And she's like, yeah, well, I play games on Twitch. And he's like, oh, Twitch by day, OnlyFans by night.

He said it like that. Which I think is credit to Amaranth for really spreading the power of OnlyFans and Twitch to the masses. Yeah. You know what happened? Her defense force, which was us, left the country, and then she got banned. True. She did get banned while we were gone.

This one's on us. Peace. We definitely dropped the ball there. Amaranth, sorry. So we're on the tour, and then on the bus, QT's just divulging shit, bro. She's talking to me about this. She leans over it. This is me and Ludwig

and her just talking about normal shit, I'd say. And then all of a sudden, there's kind of a lull. And she's like, so do you think they have plan B in Italy? Not a casual lull breaker. That's not a casual lull breaker. And I'm blown away

because this isn't like, Cutie isn't trying to be like, I wouldn't say she's like trying to be funny. This question is clearly like mostly genuine. You're the worst human to ask that. Cause you'll actually answer. You'll be like, um,

medical systems actually much more robust than the United States. It's more comparable. I feel like they probably do. I did. I actually use the word robust. I kind of want to do the wine tour thing right now, but maybe later we can go check. How about we schedule an hour to talk about this?

Hold on, hold on. I think this is a fair reaction. This is a fair reaction because it's like, to me, this is such a ridiculous question. It's like, we're in fucking Italy. We're not in the middle of nowhere. It's like, you think they don't have healthcare or medicine here? You just roll up and the guy's like you mini mushrooms?

Yeah we got those that's what you need. Maybe just plan Luigi. Dude by the way a little aside Aiden is so fucking weird in a group. Like we're all

How weird is he? There's like eight of us and like we're like trying to figure out where we are in a foreign country like getting off the train and he just starts walking.

He just starts going. There's a huge meme on TikTok it's like main character and that's Aiden. He just starts going. There's a huge meme on TikTok. It's like main character and it's Aiden. He just walks like 18 steps ahead of us. I think hoping that

random Italians think he's a loner and will come up to him being like, whoa. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for. It's weird. I believe that's

and you're also fucking weird. No. Because you'll be 20 steps behind us lagging. Yeah, we love what we're saying. Like we have front and back flank covered. I'm the kaboom.

Yo, slime, come here. You'd be like, Luca Br Lovie were saying, like, we have front and back flank covered. I'm the caboose. And we'll be like, yo, slime, come here. And you'll be like, Luca Brasi. I will come up to you 20 yards slowly and then go up to your ear and go, Luca Brasi. Yeah. And so you're both fucking weird. I'm just trying to direct everybody in the direction of where we need to go. You're fucking years away and we don't know where you are. We lose you in crowds.

We lose you. And you don't look back ever. And you don't care. What you do is you beeline to where you're supposed to be and then you go Yeah. Dude. Him on the plane. You fucking You're like my dad. What are you talking about? I was so second hand annoyed. What are you talking about?

Dude. You don't know. What are you talking about? Dude I was like So on the plane to Italy it's like a 10 hour flight and they give you movies to watch and it's like a bunch of shit. So you can just watch movies the whole time time but every time the seatbelt thing went on or any sort of announcement it'll pause the movie

and it'll say first of all it wasn't the intercom let him finish sometimes it's the intercom sometimes it's just buckle up because of turbulence mostly buckle up warnings and so it stops the entire movie and it puts a buckle up thing and it's a buckle up thing.

And it's like, yeah, you got to stop your movie. It's trying to get you to pay attention. Every time, this probably happened like, I don't know, 10 times during the flight. Aiden, I'm sitting next to him and he's like watching fucking... Dude, he's literally watching 22 Jump Street. Yeah, and then he watched Molly's Game

because Aaron Sorkin dialogue gets him fucking... Yeah, it gets me torn. So, dude, so he's like, it would pop up. And the first time he was like, and he got all pissy. Right. And then it goes away. And then he starts watching. And then it's like toward the end of the flight, he's not finishing Molly's game.

It happens again. It comes on. He's just like, and he gets so incredulous about it. And I'm like, dude, you have been on like 1,000 planes. No, that's not more fun than all of us combined. That's why you're pissed. It's just like you get pissed. There's nothing you can do.

I hate complaining to nobody. It's also movies that you've seen before. No, I hadn't seen Good Will Haunting. How did you like that, Matt? It's a great movie. Okay, explain why you're being a fussy man. I hate when he says it like this as if I've done this for every trip of my entire life. I'm just saying, you should be surprised by nothing,

and this is like the most minor thing that your movie has got interrupted. That's why I'm annoyed. I've never been on a flight that turns the movie off when they turn the fastened seatbelt sign on. But after it happened the first time, why were you still incredulous at it? Because it's just annoying. It's just like, so I'm in the middle of this movie

and you have to cut to a 20 second dialogue piece about how we've just turned the seatbelt sign on? The flight attendant's like watching. She's like, oh, he's getting upset. Can we turn it off? Dude, it just put me in this like PTSD flashback moment where I was on a train with my dad years and years ago the amtrak and they're in like in old amtracks they would like play a movie in the entertainment car and it's like a really tiny crt and you got to sit and you watch it and it's like really hard to hear and my dad

and me are watching this movie it's just married with ashton kutcher and he's like he doesn't give a shit about the movie but he's trying to watch it. Every 10 minutes he's like, I can't hear it. I can't hear what they're saying. And he's like really loud. He's telling me

like I'm nine. I don't know what the fuck I can do about this. And then I start like, I said, Dad, be quiet.

You can't do anything about it. I can't hear it. I just can't hear. And that's what you were fucking like and your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate you. Your kid is going to hate fucking like. I wasn't that bad. And your kid is going to hate you. It clearly was not that bad.

The kid is going to hate you. It clearly was not that bad. I didn't audibly get upset. I was next to you doing this. Yeah, but like. And then for the record, I want to make it clear for the record. When I turned around to motion to you, I was playing it up to be upset. To you specifically.

No fucking shot. I was not to him. I was genuinely mad. I saw one of these happen when I was behind him when he didn't see me see it. He's just like this. He goes and I'm like I'm immersed

in the art of film. What scene of 20-hour jump scares, bro? I'm immersed. Good Will Hunting? Incredible movie. Alright, anyway. It wasn't his fault! good will hunting incredible movie all right anyway robin williams look anyway fucking that's right she back to plan b yeah tell us about plan b bro so she asks me recap a little bit and i uh we're in the car she leads with this question clearly genuine which i think is super funny. This is Cutie, who's never been outside of North America before.

So she's asking me this question. She's talking about Europe like it's a third world country. And I answer. I'm like, well, yeah, of course. I'm sure there's some version here. And then I assure her, maybe in my fucking Amon way, maybe, you know, in my fucking Amen way, I'm like, the, like, EU is, like, way more

restrictive about their, about, like, drug regulations and stuff like that. I'm sure it's perfectly fine. Like, I'm sure it's to your standard of your expectations. Because she sort of, she does that thing where she asks questions about, like, foreign countries in the way that, like, how could it possibly be as good as it is

in America? And it's like, we're in Italy, dude. It's like, often, it's better. It's, like like i don't know what to tell you just really funny and then we kind of and then we get towards like wait why do you you guys you guys had sex last night and then i'm just kind of like poking fun at this and i'm like i look at him i like lean over because cutie's between us i'm like did you not did you not pull out and he's like he's like i'm like i'm pretty sure i pulled out okay that's a bad that's a love okay so what happened is we had a deal me and cutie cinderella we did and the deal was she packs my bag and i install sims 4 on her computer because she didn't know how to get drivers for a graphics card okay good deal we arrived to italy and she

goes did you pack condoms and i go you to Italy, and she goes, did you pack condoms? And I go, you packed the bag. And she goes, it would have been thoughtful if you packed condoms. I do think it's like, it's your dick. Right? It's our dick now. If you had to pack, and she was going to install The Sims on

your computer, right? What a sick deal, by the way. It is a sick deal. Would you have packed tampos for her? Tampons? Yeah. Yeah,. It is a sick deal. Would you have packed tampos for her? Tampons? Yeah. Yeah, I would have brought tampons. Have you done something like that before? I would have been like, honey, are you bleeding? To check. Okay, so she should have asked,

hey, are you going to... Dude, there is pain right now. There is no universe that Ludwig is packing, and he's doing the Ludwig thing that he always does, thinking a lot, and then goes, I wonder if my girlfriend needs tampons. And then he walks across the house and goes, hey, do you need tampons? I was just thinking about you. Yeah, that's what all fucking happened, you weirdo.

That's so me. No shot. I actually am thinking about packing your bag, and I'm getting very stressed. Ludwig is going over to her hamper and putting a fistful in there. Of his shirts that say, like, I'm a disgruntled war veteran. And like a claw game. He is dropping them in the suitcase and then

not zipping it up. I paused my game for this shirt. So, that's what she asks me. She's like, did I pack condoms? I'm like, no shot. And she's like, alright, well, we don't have condoms. We can't have sex because she's not on BC birth control. And so, we do other shit, all right? She gets me off.

I get her a cup of water. We call it a night. Yeah, so the crucial part here is that you failed to do your duty. We didn't have our gizmos, our gadgets, all right? This is like when Sora became the heartless. I didn't have my keyblade. Right, you were just hopping around, not knowing what to do. I was like, I don't have anything.blade. You were just hopping around. This does

briefly remind me of when we were moving out of the old house. We did a full house clean, right? Oh, dude. Oh, my God. Dude, we were so mad. I was so mad. Because we had to finish

me and him had to finish cleaning out the house by ourselves. Your room was fucking disgusting. Fucking disgusting, dude. Where was I for this? And we had to clean out, I don't know, but we were the ones cleaning your room that you and Cutie had been living in. It's interesting you ask where you were. And we're picking up all the trash on the floor. This room is a fucking mess.

And right in the middle of us picking up garbage off of your floor, just a tiny vibrator in the middle of the room. Purple. Purple vibrator. And I'm like, what do I do? Do I have to pick this up, man? Did you? Yeah, we went and got a fucking plastic bag. Like it was a dog poop.

You're like the Monsters in Monsters, Inc. when they're getting a sock. Oh, it's human stuff. I was like, I can't believe I'm fucking your defense I think those mine so you're good so we we we we we boink a boink it's just it's just me oh you point a boy as you do I guess we just boy no second point this is not like midnight we go to bed good night honey but it wasn't a boy cute yeah I'm sleeping yeah it was not a boy it was just I just got up and then I'm sleeping

and then at 5 a.m. just me by the way you're me I'm cutie Cinderella you're sleeping I wake up to this oh oh we all know what that means times 20 and then I'm like I'm like that's good and I'm like I'm like there's a window I'm like that's dark outside and I look at her and I'm like, there's a window. I'm like, that's dark outside. And I look at her, and I'm like, yo, what's up? And she's like, my turn? And I'm like, she was waiting over your chest, like just waiting for you to wake up for like five hours. Yeah, I woke up from the drool salivating from her mouth.

She's like, my boyfriend is so fucking handsome. And so I'm like, all right, yeah, bet. Okay, I got you. And so we start. And she threw up the blood sign with both of her hands. It was like, let's do it. We get this party started. Again, no condos still. It's not like they magically appeared from a Keebler elf.

And so we're doing it. And I am trying to use my hands. And I have successfully in the past got her off. But she's explaining this to me in the car, and she's like, he just starts DJing it, like mashing it, like Mario Party domination. He's seeing it in his head, just like DDR, like good, good, excellent, excellent, bad.

I'm looking at DDR, I'm using a typewriter, and then every time the ding is just slapping her nipple. And I'm failing. I'm failing. I'm literally doing this. Like I'm wax on, wax off. And it's not working. Eventually she's like, all right, this is not going to work.

And so we do it without the condom. She said, yeah, okay. We plow. And so we do it without the condom. She said, yeah, okay. We plow. And so we're plowing. Italian style. It lasts a solid minute. Two minutes. I'm doing my thing. My policy is always the fastest possible. Here.

And so after what happens is I pull out and then I finish. And then she says, did you come in me? And I go, no, I'm pretty sure I didn't. And then she goes, what? I said, no, no, I didn't. Ludwig literally like this on his phone.

He's like, uh, no. Dude, I get PTSD every fucking time. I realized pretty quickly that I did not assure her that I didn't, and she thinks I did. I am, by the way, 100% sure I didn't. But I said I'm pretty sure I do casually, and that was a bad time to do it. It's also like forming a baby in your body

is one of the strongest things that changes your life. She's also one of the most anxious people I've ever met. Yeah. And so you're, you're being a real good boyfriend right now. So like an hour passes and I'm, we're like escalating. I'm like, no, I'm a billion, million percent sure I did it. Okay. None of this matters.

Right. Next day she's like, let me find Italian plan B. And, uh, and that's, and that's where we went. But I didn't know she talked to you. Yeah. So what happened, I actually knew about this before everyone because I was up really early because I was watching Good. Good game.

Good game. And she asked me basically the same question. She's like, do you think they have, like, plan B here? And I'm like, I don't know. Why? You need it? And she's like, yeah, I mean, you know, like last night, you know, we have sex, and you know Ludwig. And it was like really – she's like, yeah. I mean, you know, like last night, you know, we have sex. And you know Ludwig.

And it was like really – it was like five seconds. And then, you know, he wasn't sure if he pulled out. And I was like in my head – I was being cool. And I was like, oh, yeah, I don't know, man. I can't help you. But if you need help, like whatever I can do. But in my head I was like, this like, I do not know Ludwig. She was saying this like it's common knowledge amongst everyone.

You know Ludwig when he's busting his side. It's like, wait, so he really is like, she said five seconds. She said that. That was exaggerating. It was 15. Was it 15? No, it was like a solid minute. A solid minute.

Don't say that like you're putting numbers on the fucking board. The good thing about it, here's what you need to understand. Clean minute. I hung out with Hasan who sets a timer when he jerks off for 15 minutes. Yeah. So he doesn't bust quick during sex. He does do this. What?

Yeah, so he times himself when he jerks off so that he always is maintaining stamina in his sex life. He times himself when he jerks off so that he always is maintaining stamina in his sex life. And I told Hasan in that moment, my policy is to go as fast as possible because if I'm the last human standing, I could repopulate the earth and he would fail. He would struggle. I think he could still get it done pretty good. No, because he would need at least 15 and then he'd have to recharge time. I'm done so quick that by the time he does his 15, I'm already recharged. You only have so much cum, Ludwig.

I feel like – I don't think every time, every five seconds you go, it's going to be – Yeah, it does. Okay, yeah, okay. That's my power. That's crazy, by the way. All of this is crazy. So that's what happened, and she brought it up. She did consent, by the way.

She told Aiden, I consent to this being on the podcast. I said, I don't. She says, I don't care. She, like, encouraged it to be by the way. She told Aiden. I consent to this being on the podcast. I said, I don't. She says, I don't care. She encouraged it to be on the podcast. She wants everyone to know how inconsiderate you are with your nut. I'm a great lover. Between this and the roast. I don't think you are.

No, dude. You sound like you're a- All the evidence is very much stacked against you. I'm a great lover. She also exaggerates, bro. On stream, she'll be like, I have to pay 3K in rent every month. It makes it so hard on me. And then people believe

this they're like why do you make your girlfriend make rent you make like three million dollars because the twitch picture i'm like i this isn't true this is categorically she said to me you know ludwig you know and that was me and her hey you know me you know when i'm jerking before you know yeah but you were behind a green screen it was crazy jerked on the green screen no i is in the old house i walked in his room because I wanted to – his door was open, but his green screen used to face the door, so he was behind it and then his computer. And I was like, hey, Ludwig.

You see like an Austin Powers silhouette of like mini-me. And I was like, hey, Ludwig. And he's like, hey, I'm jerking off in here, bud. And I'm like, oh, my bad. And then I closed the door. That's cool about it. It's not. That was a cool day.

It's not cool to leave the door open. The Ludwig would be like, yeah, what's up? And then you walk over and you're talking to him and you turn the corner and he goes, hey, whoa. Yeah, dude, what are you doing? Why don't you walk all the way in? Well, I also, there was one time I walked in and it was the same configuration. And I walked over and you had your pants all the way down and you were like playing with your dick and I don't remember the context it was I think there was

like I made a joke about your wiener you can do that when you have foreskin and you were just like pulling your foreskin and I looked down and I was like huh they'll never know that's the first time I've like seen your dick like in detail I was just tugging it around nothing wrong with that you do a little bit but yeah that was uh so that. So it's been eventful. It has been eventful. What? No, it's just my sex life is revealed. I mean, yeah, she did advocate for this. Keep the pod warm.

I'm going to check some stuff on the camera. Yeah, so Nick has to go and check and make sure it's still recorded. Probably just make a cut here, right? No, I don't need a cut, man. This is all right, man. Speaking of cut, dude, so there's a of like little kiosks and shops with things and the statue of david as made by michelangelo david versus goliath bible one uh has a famously small wait is it david versus goliath it's that david yeah i didn't even know that and so he's a small penis uh but huge balls i feel that by the the way, David. And the real one is uncut.

What they have in these shops, cut versions. If you're American or Jewish and rolling through, you can buy a circumcised statue of David. Which is weirdly inclusive. But it looked really bad. That was the funny thing. So there's two equivalent

size statues of David. One cut, one uncut. And the cut one, just like, the penis looks terrible. It's not a great. I love the idea of some Italian guy showing you the statues. Like, oh, we got a one over here. Cut. Uncut.

Speaking of Italian first impressions, I could not believe the dude who greeted us at the airport. Yeah, the guy who stamped our passport to get into this country. So we all had to work really hard to fill out paperwork to get into the country, and we all filled it out beforehand. You're saying that? You're like, oh, we all filled it out beforehand? This is the morning of the flight. Our flight leaves LAX at 7.30.

You don't understand. It was like 30 pages. It's 3.30. No, it's 4. It's 4. We're about to leave the house. If I had a day off, I would have done it before. If you had a day off.

You're such a fucking prick. 4 a.m. 4 a.m. We're sitting on the stairs. Everybody's so fucking tired. We're ready to finally go on this trip that we've planned for months and you and you are sitting on the stairs

you no no no no don't tell me what I need to know you look at me and Nick you look between us you look between us and he's like so what forms do I need to fill out dude you motherfucker that was like the meanest thing to say because everyone was like it's just grinding these forms and then I thought it's so because QD asked me in the chat that day was like the meanest thing to say because everyone was like, it's just grinding these forms. And then I thought

because QD asked me in the chat that day, it was like, are some, are like, who is handling doing Ludwig's forms? And I said I am not doing it out of protest. I can't, I, well actually I can believe, I can believe it but it's astounding that she needs to put that in the chat. She's like,

which one of you is filling out Ludwig's forms to go to Italy? You know what the difference is? If you would have asked me to do it like weeks before, like, hey, can you do all my chat. She's like, which one of you is filling out Ludwig's forms to go to Italy? You know what the difference is? If you would have asked me to do it weeks before, like, hey, can you do all my shit? I'm like, yeah, sure. But it's the fact that you just said nothing and then just bounce around the house

and eat egg and then go. And you don't say anything. Hey, I'm here, huh? God damn you, you motherfucker. We did put so much shit together. There's a bunch of forms and we had to download an app. I don't know. I'm making it sound... There's a lot.

There's a COVID test you need to do and they have to submit that online that has to get approved. You have to also fill out an entire travel doc of where you're going to be, all this stuff. Yeah, it's just a lot of stuff to fill out. Because of COVID. And then once you arrive in Italy, the guy at the customs gate is supposed to go through

this material. We're ready for a Dark Souls boss of tests. And this guy, he's just this older guy. He's sitting in the customs booth. He's talking to his friend who's sitting next to him. I walk up, first person, doesn't even look at me, doesn't tell me to come up. So I wait a while. I step up.

And then I'm like, I hand him my passport. He takes it without even turning around to look at me, takes it, stamps it, and throws it back. The way he threw it back, turning around to look at me takes it stamps it and throws it back the way he threw it back so much disdain dude i could i could have handed him the back of a fucking macaroni and cheese box and he would have put this but the passport that's also because we're american like we we have a pretty op passport for a lot of european countries because there was a european customs line yeah that was brute like that was an interview like you have to talk to the person you have to say what you're there for

yeah us americans it's just like yeah i guess i was expecting it would be a lot worse because of like you know covid i'm what the way back will probably be a lot harder for sure i think well we're also american going into america so it should be pretty chill we're also for white dudes and it's a guy who picks it. I'm imagining that this is a lot of racial profiling at the customs. We kind of just, we all rolled extremely lucky.

I think it was just crazy because there was so much to fill out and all these little minor details of like what you could be caught on and then we finally get here and the dude doesn't even look me in the eyes.

Yeah, I don't care. Dude, Italy, I could never live in Italy. I've decided everything here. Never. Why? Alienate another nation of humans. Why is that?

I couldn't live here because it's such a slow-paced life. Everything was closed today. Oh, yeah. In your life. Super fast. You piece of shit. You're the same as everyone here.

You're living in the fast lane, lovely. You wake up. I do everything for you. Hold on. Lovely wakes up at 12 o'clock and goes, oh, man, I'm going to be a goer today. Everyone here you're living in the fast lane. No wait That walking goes your back oh man, I'm gonna be a goer today, and he goes downstairs He goes on his phone and says anyone getting coffee. Can you bring me you do that every day? You guys are staying here. The only the main mismatch is your ambition I

Go live every day. I upload a video every day. Oh Every day. Oh, yeah, Every day. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I'm working hard. And people, people waking up late in the city. That's really stopping that. You couldn't even say it without breaking.

I was choking up. I was almost crying. You are such a fucking, this is, dude, there's no bit even. You're just wrong. You're just wrong. I wish I had a day off.

You're in Italy. These Italians take two or three. This is my first vacation in two years. Shut the fuck up. No, it's not. Two-dos-year. You went to fucking go see a Patriots game. You know what I couldn't believe is we were

walking down the street. It was me, Nick, Ludwig, and Zipper2, and we're walking down the street, and we're like, do you think Ludwig gets recognized while we're here? Oh, my dude. Well, me and Ludwig had a bet.

I think it was on the podcast. Yeah, we had a bet. Yeah, you made a bet. Where I was like, there's no shot you get recognized. And he was like, 100%. He's like, I definitely do. And I bring this back up while we're walking. I'm like, hey, remember the bet we had where I said, no way you get recognized?

And you even concede. In that moment, you did concede. He's like, I don't think it'll happen in Florence. Yeah, maybe not Florence, but definitely Rome, I think, that I'd get recognized. Because I knew I'd get recognized. But as we're walking, this dude is riding on a bike. This is 10 steps later. And he's hawkeye-ing me.

And I'm looking back at him, and I have a smug look because I'm like, this guy's a love bud. He bikes by me. I turn around before he says anything. I go, yo. And he's like, are you Ludwig? What was that accent?

Are you Ludwig? Well, he wasn't Italian. Oh, very nice. Are you sure? Yeah, he was definitely not Italian. No, I thought he was Italian as shit. He was Italian. He was an Italian kid.

No, no, no, his name. He went to the international school in Florence. I think he was probably like Italian. No, I think you're wrong. That guy was Italian as shit. He was Italian. He was an Italian kid. No, no, no, his name. He went to the international school in Florence. I think he was probably Belgic or something. Belgian. Oh, his accent was really soft, but I just assumed it was because he was a kid who watched a bunch of American content. So ignorant.

So anyway, he's an instant one, bud. Within 10 steps, who comes up? Potential. I don't think he said his name, bud. Potential extended I don't think he said his name, but. Potential. It was Luke Abraxas. Extended universe, bud. Because I think he recognized the whole group.

Yeah, he said, what are you guys all doing in Italy? Yeah. Maybe that's just a nice thing to say. It might have been a nice thing. No, he recognized Nick. Yeah, what happened is he stared at me, and then he looked at Nick, then he looked back at me, and I knew for sure. Because I can tell when people know me based off how they look at me,

I'm almost all the time right, because they just, for one, do double takes, and then they just stare at me. Like, how could I possibly be where I am in the world when they are also there? Which is, to be fair, I'm in Italy. That's pretty weird. It is off the wall.

Like, if I'm in LA and you see me, it's not that weird. But if I'm in fucking Italy and you just watch a YouTube video. That's just a guy that looks like Ludwig. Yeah. Someone else recognized you, too. Uh, yeah, who's that? He was just that guy who, like, waved to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he did. Nick thinks he didn't. I think he recognized me. I think we just got waved to. I think, look, the way he stared at me. I'm just trying to imagine, like, if I was Italian, living in Italy, and I'm walking by a Twitch streamer that I watch, I can't imagine just going, oh, yeah, hey. And then continuing to walk.

That's not crazy. That's where you mess up. Most people who know me don't watch me. Yeah. I am known more than I'm watched. So this is probably just a guy who knows me, who doesn't watch me, who's like, yo. That's the stream-a-thon. Hey, sub-a-thon guy.

Yeah. I think I know you. He pisses me off. I will say, I didn't get waved at once. In fact, I think the vibe in general. From the window? While you were watching Squid Game? I was going a little bit.

No, I'm not even going to be in Squid Game. No, I was like, the guy at the customs kind of, I felt like, set the vibe. Because there's like this element of, it's not rudeness, but you definitely feel like you don't belong here, which is great. Because I think that's how countries should make Americans feel who are tourists. And I think I realized what I didn't like so much about leading up to this trip was the fact that we were like talking about going to Italy like as an advertising thing. And like we're like these American tourists and it just makes me feel like gross and weird. But then I'm, you know, kind of just being more of a normal person, and it feels better. I think most of my goal with this trip was literally a vacation.

That's so stupid. You're such a fucking idiot. How is that stupid? Because, dude, it's not. I'm interested, too. Yeah, I don't. Because it's like, you didn't posit that as a vacation. Every time it was brought up to me, it was just like, oh, go to Italy.

Do the podcast in Italy. And I was like, what? If I had known that it was a vacation, then I would have been like, oh, that makes a little more sense. I would have been as confused at the arbitrary nature of it. I think I also need a reason to take a vacation. I'm not so willing to just let myself go off a week and do zero at all. That would feel bad. So it's like I want some excuse to go to Italy.

But it is mostly a vacation. I'm not keeping up with any YouTube shit. We're not uploading a single video. First time in two years. We're not doing any stream stuff. My hands, I am not getting any soot on these hands. I am not going into the mines. Yeah, I'm not. Look, I am. I am not going into the mines. Yeah, I'm not.

Look, I am blue collar. I'm not lifting a goddamn two by four. Through and through. And so this blue collar worker needs a couple weeks off to let his body recharge. No, but it's been fine. Well, what I was going to say is that I think the most positive experience I had is I bought a lighter from a guy and he called me a paisano. Yeah, that's sick.

And that was huge. What was the contest? Paisano's so sick. I just wanted a- There's a dude hustling lighters outside of a cafe we went to, and- Oh, it's not even like a store.

No, no. He's just like standing, you know, the people who are standing around like selling random shit, and he like motions to Slime, like, buy my stuff, and Slime's like, sure, yeah, what do you got?

He looks at me and says, he's a lighter, and you bought one. My hands were cold, and I wanted to get a lighter, and I was like, I was like I was like What did I say?

Quanto I only know Spanish yeah, and it doesn't really translate at all pretty close, but but there's like So I tell this guy and he's like This one and I was like oh no yeah And he's like okay, and he tells me it's one euro And I give him two because I only had a two coin. And he was like, bison. And he just kept the euro? Well, I gave it to him as like, you know, for you. But I will say I went into a store to get a jacket, like the same place you got that one.

And I was like, I asked the lady, I was like, chaqueta? And, you know, it's just jacket in Spanish. She starts speaking the most rapid fire Italian to me ever. And I'm like, oh, shit. I'm in trouble. That's what I was saying. The strat is absolutely not attempting to communicate Italian at first

because then you're going to enter a world where they're like, oh, an Italian? She was rapid-firing, and then she was asking me questions, and I'm like, uh, see. That happens even in other countries where English is more common like that happened a bunch in Sweden happens

in like the Netherlands you'd go up and you try to use like the neutral or like the greeting of the country and then they just like oh yeah they have no reason to like think you're American and then you have to like stop and explain like I'm actually I only speak English there's actually a sick American pass you have in every European country

where if you come off as American, they instantly treat you like a six-year-old. And they slow down and they go, oh, una jaqueta? Okay. Está frío? Oh, por si. They're all speaking Spanish? Why are they doing that here? So when we went to the winery, one of the people who was showing us around, she was an American who's lived here for eight years.

And she was explaining how this thing happens where when she talks to people or she hears people from other countries talk to people in Italian, if they're not from there, they'll be like, oh, you're Italian. It's like pretty good. like oh you're you're italian it's like pretty good and then if you they find out you're american instead of like canadian or spanish or or even like british they'll be like oh you're italian's very good yeah like they'll they'll change basically just an american did it i don't know how but you've beat the odds american just seen as the world's dumb asses like yeah we are that you know which is pretty fair to be honest and We did show up and instantly we're calling everything Mario. Yeah. I mean, I said, but the thing, the difference is I would say Luca Brasi under my breath.

You know? And the difference is I wouldn't hide it from the Italians. I'll let them know I'm Italian phobic. Dude, your tweet, your message to Nick. Dude, we're literally on the same. Try to be a text from Ludwig. Italians shouldn't be pilots. You know what was so funny?

Because I saw Nick tweet that right before he took off and I'm laughing and I'm like I thought the same thing. But I can say that. It's also so funny because we're on

American Airlines. It's a fucking American pilot. There was no reason to say it. You know what I also loved about that flight was the first

the flight attendant who read the safety stuff at the beginning of the flight knew Italian, but was clearly American. Because even from my perspective of understanding Italian, it was like not good Italian. She's botching this for sure. She was fucking it up. And then at the end of the flight,

the dude who spoke Italian on the speaker was a different guy and the Italian was like way more fluid um what was I gonna say about the plane dude flight over was miserable it wasn't bad at all dude you were in business class you fucking prick well it was not miserable because I was in business the seats were fire it was miserable because this is the first time

QD left NA and the flight was like 10 hours and she's petrified of flying oh yeah she had a huge fear of flying this was my proposition by the way like 10 hours and she's petrified of flying. This is my proposition, by the way. It's like, if she's so miserable up there in first, let's swap seats on the way home, dude. Next to me. Let's separate her from the one person she's comfortable with.

She's going to have a terrible time either way, so give me the seat. It's like binary. It's like you're either good time or bad time. It is. All bad time is the same. It's binary. Yeah, she was struggling. I thought I didn't get to see her while she was on the plane, but when we got off the plane, she seemed pretty

okay. Yeah, I've actually been very proud and happy with her because she seems like, as nervous and shit as she has always been about this, she seems like in pretty good spirits. Hey, she got it done. Yeah. She triple always been about this she seems like in pretty good spirits hey she got it done but she triples and and she was like

I should have gone Benadryl and I'm like that's probably true sleeping is by far the strat she couldn't she tried that's what the problem was she couldn't sleep

and I felt bad because like I am in business it's a full lie down seat she's a whole ass bed up there she's not sleeping in it I play Nintendo Switch with Nino Cooney

I'm living the good life they come over they give me breakfast I fall asleep for six hours I wake up i look over she's still miserable i'm like i feel bad i feel bad but i don't know what to do yeah i mean you can't really do anything to her to her credit first trip over here and dealing with all that like flight anxiety because the last trip i went with her on was when we flew to Vegas and the anxiety of that flight I feel like destroyed like the first two days of the trip for her yeah like she was having a rough time because of that so I kind of expected the same thing but she's been having a great time

ever since we got off the plane that flight was so bad that she didn't fly back from Vegas she drove back yeah the car that was 15% chance she gets like the Nina the Pinta and the Santa Maria and she just like boats back instead of flying back. I don't know if I told you. I had a bet. I bet Nick $100 that she wouldn't make it to Italy. Really? Or that she would bail on a flight back.

But I'm going to pay up. I'm paying up 100%. She can't bail? Like you just can't? No, no. The bet included like if she delayed the flight home to go on a different one. But it's like the primary backup point was definitely the trip on the way here and i believed and nick believed i didn't believe the whole time i'm like she's we're gonna get to the day of she's she's not

getting on that flight done baby yeah it was just her friends are here it's like that's a huge like uh uh bonus for my part of the bet is like if she she doesn't ditch us, like she ditches her friends. Yeah. So. Dude, her friend Sid is the first human I've met. Cause again, crypto watch. Everyone on Twitter creaming about crypto.

This is the first guy I've met. Who's like, yeah, I just made like a million. Like I just, I sold a rock. He sold a fucking goofy meme NFT for a million bucks. And I'm like, damn,

this is real. It's also really funny. I didn't hear about this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he's. So Sid is the friend that's here. Yeah. With didn't hear about this. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so he's- So Sid is the friend

that's here with Taylor and his friends. Yeah, that guy rules. Yeah. And he bought like a crypto randomly, sold it. Bought it NFT. NFT, yeah.

He bought it for like 600. 17K. Sold it for like 20K, 17K. He bought it for 17K. No, he bought one for 600, 900 and then he sold it for 17K. Then he bought another one for 17K, sold it for

a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. He made a seven figure. This shit is fucked up. $17,000. He sold it for a million dollars. Yeah. He made his seven figures. This shit is fucked up. I really like him. He's sick. He's super chill.

Incredibly fun to hang out with. Also, he's the person who's really funny, but he'll wait half a day and pick his spot and then say something, and it kills. I said he's like Nick on the pod. Yeah. Wait, what? Like Nick waits on the pod to say something funny. He picks his spot.

He'll just sit there, and then he'll just say a a one-liner i don't think that's true my wife i think it's really funny because there's this idea of this person who like never shuts up about crypto and nfts and uh they're just really annoying but he's kind of the opposite where like he won't bring it up at all unless prompted and then you start asking him questions and he's kind of the opposite where like he won't bring it up at all unless prompted and then you start asking him questions and he's clearly like so intelligent and articulate about everything to do with it he's really fun too to talk about it he knows it's goofy as shit and that's the fun part yeah he does he's like yeah lol you know i made a million yeah and that's really valuable because you get people who are all serious about it and you're like,

Matt.Zeb, shut the fuck up. Please, God. Please. We should make an NFT. We should make one. Dude, he's pushing me to the edge. Not to make one, but... We should make one.

Just to get involved with the scam. We take a photo... I don't want a CoffeeZilla video, bro. We take a photo of all of our balls and they're all their own NFT and we put them on the market. And you have to guess because you don't know which one.

Exactly. I like that. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I like that. Huge. I had 20K patrons. Yeah. We've been thinking a lot about,

because 10K patrons is approaching and I'm going to have to get a fucking tattoo. We're at 8K right now. And then after that, we were thinking like, what's the next goal and what would the thing we do for it be? Can I say something really quick?

I want the Aiden, have you dreamed this man tattoo. The face. I think I want to get it. What is that? It want the Aiden Have You Dreamed This Man tattoo. The face. I think I want to get it. What is that? It's the Have You Dreamed This Man with Aiden's face.

This is how fucking disconnected he is. This is insane. It's like a top yard of great A-mean. It's his picture on Twitter and Discord. Yeah, hold on.

Let me just pull it up. I fucking hate you. I hope that bee stings you in your ear. Dude, Italian mosquitoes don't fuck around. I woke that beach stings you in your day off Italian mosquitoes Don't fuck around my I woke up the other day and my finger was swollen. It's still all fucked up That's the I think you just got shitty cheetos Unhealthy no, no, I think I think me and you have sexy blood cuz yeah Judy got zero bites. I got lit up

Yeah, I think she's gross icky bloodicky blood The Italian mosquitoes see me and they're like They put little bibs on Dude we went out to eat last night And I had this I was just dying I don't know if Aiden found it as funny as I did I think he found it so funny that I found it funny But I had this

So we were in this nice Italian restaurant, and it was like, you know, we're up in this little private area, and it's very special, and it's nice. And we start, for some reason, talking about Stans and Atrioc. I forget the context. As you do. But, yeah, and he's just like, I have this idea where it's like, Atrioc dies, like, suddenly.

Which is funny. Yeah, which is already hilarious. And, like, Stans isoc dies, like, suddenly. Which is funny. Yeah, which is already hilarious. And, like, Stans is just at, like, some Italian restaurant in Florence alone. And he's just got, like, a picture of Atrioc. And he's, like, ordering him food. And he's like, don't you like your food, Atrioc? And he's, like, dead, but he can't let go. And he's, like, it's Atrioc's birthday.

And he has a little hat on. And he's, like, I know it's going to be, like, pretty embarrassing, but I have a sink for you. Whoa! And he makes the Italian waiters, like, sing happy birthday to, like, an empty chair. And he gets them, like, a fucking dish. And it's like, you haven't touched your food, Atrioc. Dude, it's the most depressing thing, and you're laughing maniacally in this restaurant. This Italian waiter comes over, and you're just like, and he's fucking dead.

It's like, fettuccine pini. Right, H-Rock? Fettuccine pini. There's like eight of us in this nice-ass place last night. It was so funny. I'm gonna get a little tiramisu, Satria. And everybody's clearly exhausted. Like, nobody's talking that much, and it's just me and slime at the corner of the table

fucking dying. Just this idea of like a shattered, not there stand. I love the idea because we were in this like a long, long table in sort of this like private room. And the idea in my head was like stands on one end and sort of this like, like hacky sack version of Atriod that he's built on the other side. Like a potato sack and he's like looking at him from over the table. And it's like some hair matted on. You haven't eaten much of your food, Atrion.

He's like, I don't want any dessert. You want any dessert? Can you get him a little tiramisu? A little Dr. Tiramisu? Oh, I'm hungry. Hey, my dog's barking. Aren't you, Atrion? There's just like minestrone going down the picture of his face.

There's just like a schizophrenic mess. Getting upset as it goes on. Just a 90-year-old stance, dude. I thought it was so funny to put it in the topic channel because I was just like. Just talk about dead Atrioc. Archie's going to put the chapter for this. Just Atrioc is dead. Atrioc dies dead Atrioc Archie's gonna put the chapter for this just Atrioc is dead Atrioc dies

I do think it's funny because that restaurant that we went to like a lot of things on this trip have been because Sasha Gray recommends them to Cutie so Cutie has been on this trip and about every third sentence from Cutie starts with,

Sasha said we should do X. Because Sasha recently went to Italy, and she has all this, like, intel. And it's really surreal, you know, 24, 25-year-old, like, me. I don't know why I said two ages. Which one are you? Two at the same time. I'm just, like, listening to this person in my life, like, describe recommendations

about italy like from the porn star that i it is crazy it's like oh thanks that you want lady i used to beat off you that's cool i did i did enjoy this it's really surreal like it is really surreal and it's also really funny because i i think there's just this i i get it because like cutie is like new to traveling and like she definitely like trusts her friends recommendation but the dinner like we went to last night for instance it was like it was pretty fucking me yeah it was not very good and it's just like the the idea of like instead of like the pool of like research we could do or like the other friends we could talk to about like traveling or figuring things out. We're literally hanging out with Massimo, who's an Italian melee player.

It's like this guy who's lived in Florence all his life, we could ask him for a recommendation, but we're listening to Sasha Gray's interpretation of Florence. A million times out of a million, I take her word. I would rather go Sasha. It's also a better scapegoat. If it's really mid, you'd be like, well, Sasha said it. Are you really going to fight Sasha Gray? We also a better scapegoat. Because if it's really mid, you'd be like, well, Sasha said it. Sasha said it, yeah. Are you really going to fight Sasha, Greg?

We tried to go to this taxi place. We tried to book the taxi place that Sasha recommended this morning. Me and Slime walk all the way. We walk across the city to where you're supposed to book the taxi that Sasha recommended. It just doesn't exist where it says it is on Google Maps. Really, yeah. We walked all the way there. We show up.

We're like looking around. No taxi service at all. I called it, and they were super Italian, so I hung up because I got nervous. Everything in Italy is like this. We walked all the way there. We show up. We're like looking around. No taxi service at all. I called it, and they were super Italian, so I hung up because I got nervous. Everything in Italy is like this. I woke up the first night here. I woke up at like 4 a.m., and I had so much energy, and I was just like, I'm going to go walk around. By the time I got ready, it was like 5.

I look at my phone. I'm like, what's open at 5? Nothing is open in Italy until early Florence, until like 9 a.m. And that's on a weekday Sunday everything's close to like noon there was one place I found that was open it said open

and it wasn't just one of those you know sometimes it is like won't list hours yeah it wasn't like that it said it was open so I was like

okay I'll walk there it's like three miles away so I walked the three miles and I get there and it's just fucking it's not even just closed it's like there's a gate over it

and it's a hotel like there's all these things about it that weren't listed and all the reviews all the reviews about it are like love this restaurant was awesome like all these things and i show up and it's just fucking not there part of it might be because it's outdated because of covid probably businesses shut down but also in italy in a lot of europe it's just that it's not like america there's not chains there's not like America. There's not chains. There's not a Starbucks that's guaranteed open 24-7 or McDonald's. Yeah, yeah.

It's a bunch of family-owned businesses that are like, we went to lunch for four hours. It definitely happens. I've noticed. It's my bad. One thing that's weird to get used to, even with as comprehensive as something like Google feels like it is, you go to a lot of places, especially in Asia, and then parts of Europe too, you'll just find information about something on Google that is just outdated

or untrue or just straight up unusable. And that's a really common experience. But these things have to be collected. There has to be some Italian version of this that's accurate. They use Billy Billy. What's Italian for Yelp? Billy Billy, the video platform for Italians and

China. Weird link there. How are you guys feeling so far about the food here? Dude, you know what's crazy? It's like mildly disappointing. I'm pretty disappointed. The expectations were so high. Yeah, I was about to say, Ludwig's sandwich that he made is probably one of the best things.

Granted, all Italian ingredients. But I think that I had these really high. And granted, we've only been to a couple places, but I had these insanely high expectations, and I've only had one place that I was like, this is fucking good. The place Massimo brought you to? The place that the literal Italian person we know here brought us to. That's the other, the best food I've had since I've been here. The first night I was here, I went to go play Melee with a couple Italian guys.

And one of them offered, Mirko, offers to make me food at his apartment. That's the best food I've had my entire time. I think the reason is because grocery store ingredients are super good, super fresh. Yeah, yeah. And it's better than a lot of the times what you'll get at a restaurant because it's more refined to what you want. Maybe, yeah. That's what the, that's what, what was her name? Alexa, the tour guide.

Yeah. She was the American who's lived here for like eight years. And that was what she said too, is like one of her favorite things about living here is just the ingredients and like the food you have access to is like really fresh and good and like, and that's one of the reasons she just likes living here. We went to a Tesco's and got like a saucy salt. It was not a Tesco's. It's called Coop. Prosciutto.

It's like an Italian grocery store chain. We got some like pecorini. We got like just normal meat and cheese and then bread at some like weird, like it was a bar. It just had beer on the front of it. And they just had, for whatever reason, bread. Oh, dude, that guy hated me. God damn.

Everyone hates me here. No, no one hates you, man. But I'm a paisano. What? Dude, by the way, I'm hated me. God damn. Everyone hates me here. No, no one hates you, man. But I'm a Paisan. What? Dude, by the way, I'm walking around the first day. My outfit, it seemed like I planned it out, but I didn't. But I had an entire Adidas tracksuit. You certainly did.

You had to apply to- It was an Adidas suit and you wore it. Dude, they literally asked to see your passport because you looked like a fucking danger to the building. Yeah, that was hype. I have Adidas pants that I was wearing because you want to just like wear comfy pants and then i looked in my closet right before i'm packing and i'm like oh i have the jacket it's the same one ibdw wore in the shoot and uh and then i have my adidas slides and i'm like okay i guess i'm doing it you look like a russian member yeah well that was like a grand theft

auto player with like a lot of in-game money and then wellwig took that picture, those pictures of me outside the pizza place. That's right in Rome, like right when we were waiting for our train to Florence. And I was like, I'm fucking there, bro. Well, you know what's funny is you're wearing that outfit and we land in Italy. And then two politia come up to us. Yeah, they check us. They heat check us. Passport, please.

I wonder if they were confused that I had an American accent and an American passport. And they're like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Why are you dressed like that? I think they profiled us because of you. That's hype. 100%. You know, that's why I figured that. Because I wasn't there when they came over to you guys.

And then halfway through them checking your shit, I came over and sort of, I figured, oh, they're going to ask for mine. What's up? And I offered my passport. But he grabbed it and then didn't really look at it and then just handed it back. So it clearly had something to do with the way he gave us points. Because I think they were worried you were an Eastern European.

Yeah, no one's going to fuck with me. They think I'm crazy. They don't treat Eastern Europeans well at the border here. Yeah, but they won't fuck with us either. They did fuck with you. No, but the cops will fuck with us, but then we'll fuck with the cops. Well, we didn't... We just showed them our American passport.

Yeah, no, I was like, fuck you. Literally, all the cops here drive fucking Fiats. I'm outrunning that car. Yeah, it's embarrassing. There's no chance they're getting... I'm literally running one direction on a street that is the size of a car, and then I go,

oh, I'm gonna run the opposite way now, and you can't turn around. You just need to find it... So I'm running this way now. ...the nearest Italian alleyway that the vehicle cannot fit down. You take one turn and all of a sudden you're in a new part of Florence and they can't chase you. It is comical

because it's such an old city that you'll see a bus go through a street and you'll just grimace because you're like, oh, that's gonna hit something. Yeah, like how many mirrors are getting clipped today? Dude, we learned very quickly right when we got here, we're walking all of our luggage to our Airbnb and we're in the middle of a road, a really narrow road, and this van comes and like does not stop.

The van just goes, and like we got out of the way and very narrowly dodged it. Drivers are fucking terrifying here. I think there's a law that's like drivers have right of way. They don't give a shit. GLHF pedestrians. I drove like a champ here. I was like fucking Takumi, bro. I was Colorado Mountains in my automatic.

You did get it done. It is funny that we were driving the only automatic car at a rental place. Put me in a stick, bro. I do fine. We were on our way to this Airbnb to do the podcast, and we're listening to fucking That's Amore. I was so mad. We're in an automatic car, which is very

uncommon in Italy, because we rented it, and we're listening to That's Amore, and for a moment I was like, I understand why Slime did not want to come. Are we the problem? Thank you. Thank you so much. Is it us? Thank you so much. And then he puts on the Italian Jobs soundtrack,

which was like a bad track from the movie. It sounded bad. That was the funniest thing? The funniest thing Aiden said is because we had to pull out cash and they gouge you. Like anywhere in any public area, they add a 14% extra charge

for conversion. And then I'm talking about like robbing a liquor store to get cash. And then we're like joking him around and then Aiden sits there and his face lights up

and he goes, the Italian lick. Four days later, Aiden finally had his zinger moment. That's the funniest thing you've ever said. I think that's the funniest thing I've ever said. No, the funniest thing I think ever was that video that was in the intro of one of the podcasts where you were

Ludwig. That character was so fucking funny. It was like this weird fucked up Ludwig, but your character was it was like Kyle Levels. And the if you're

if you're subbed to the Patreon you'll see that we have an advice show the other last week me and Adam were running some bit that I'm not even gonna say on the main show.

It was a bad it was a bad not not a bit you wanna casually casually just like It's good that it's behind a paywall. Hot bit?

It's a hot bit. But at some point during it we were doing these horrid horrid British accents and it was like what is Brexit. And for some reason that just hit my funny bone.

I couldn't stop laughing at that. Speaking speaking of Patreon and sponsors I think it's about time we thank Coinbase. Oh! For sponsoring this week of the podcast.

Think about that for a second. Yeah, hey, man, if you guys want to download some cryptocurrencies, look, you can use Coinbase. It's a pretty trusted, what are they, vendor? Vendor of cryptos? Broker? Broker of cryptos. They're good people. You know, crypto's a bit of a tough world to navigate in.

You can find some shady characters, but Coinbase isn't one of them people. So check out Coinbase. Download it on the App Store, Google Play Store. Get some cryptos in your life, whatever you want. All right? It's a little bit hot-hot right now. It's up to you what you want. All the biggest popular currencies out there.

It's cool that they stop you from getting all the shit coins because they have a pretty robust verification program on what cryptos they allow. They didn't even allow Doge for like deep into Doge life because they're like, kind of a shit coin. Yeah, because it was a dog. Yeah, they're like, we hate dogs. But now they're like, you know what?

There's a value there. Dogs will walk by the street and someone will go, huh, Italian dog. Yeah, I do look at dogs in Italy and I'm like, there's this part in Mad Men where he's doing this thing for the guy who owns Hilton, Conway Hilton or whatever, and

he has this beautiful campaign where he's like, a burger is the same in every language. You know? And Hilton hates it. He's like, I want to put Hilton on the moon! You don't get me! But then I thought about that because I keep seeing dogs and I'm like, a dog is the same in every language. Dude, dogs and I'm like a dog is the same Dude deadass

Country and I'm everything fades away for a moment the best thing I've done all week was ride a Vespa through the Tuscany Hills Yeah Well, I didn't get my Lizzie McGuire on he did because the way it worked is you do the Vespa tour Which we didn't actually even plan to do. We were supposed to do like a Jeep off-roading wine tour, but the guy was like, do Vespas, it's more fun. We're like, okay, we'll do Vespas. You're like, okay, Luca Brasi, I will. And so what they do is they line everybody up. He was Serbian, so that wasn't his name.

They line everybody up, and they go, okay, we're going to test to see if you know how to ride a Vespa. We're going to have you go in a circle twice, you're going to chump check, and if you pass it, I'll let you ride because you have to ride on the street with other cars. The roads are narrow. They're two-way roads, but they don't feel like that. It's a death trap. Yeah. And so he lines us all up. He puts us in front and he says, who has experience? Me. I really want to ride. So I'm like,

my actual experience is I rode my cousin's Vespa and I crashed 10 years ago. You had an experience. I did have experience. It wasn't great. You did more experience. It wasn't great. So he lines us all up.

He's like, all right, experience one's up first. Aiden goes up, nails it. Sid goes up, nails it. I go up. I do great. I nail it. I play video games. I know how to do it.

Cutie's like, I do this all the time. She goes up, kind of chokes the bag. But it's chill because she has to ride behind me. I do this all the time. She goes up, kind of chokes the bag, but it's chill because she has to ride behind me. And then there's this girl who's from Austin, Texas, who's the guy named Queen, I guess,

because she was being very pink. She wanted, you know. Oh, the Serbian guy was like, you're Queen now. Queenie, Queenie. You ride Vesp- Princesa. Princesa. Her name was Queen. I ride the main.

Her name was Queen. That's why. That is so fucking funny that you just thought he was calling her Queen.a. Her name was Quinn. Her name was Quinn. That's why. That is so fucking funny that you just thought he was calling her Queen. Yeah. Her name was Quinn. He was very intentionally doing Queen as well. But I guess he was also calling Aiden Ethan. He called me Ethan the first three times he said my name,

which is really funny because it's just my brother's name. Yeah, your little brother just twitches somewhere. If he called you Eamon, I would have lost my fucking mind. Eamon. And so that girl, Quinn, doesn't pass the test, and everyone needs to be partnered up, and there's like six people who can ride and then six people who can't, who need to be passengers.

And then this girl's like, they're like, ah, maybe go inside, like you can't ride. And then Cutie goes, she can ride with Aiden. Volunteers Aiden. A little matchmaking. You know Aiden, he's like, yeah, yeah. I'm a guy in a Muppet movie. Who's the human?

Okay. Aiden goes, I kind of wanted to ride alone. I was thinking maybe I ride and then I come back and then you can ride without all of us. Is that fine with you? Well, I wouldn't care if I was doing it alone. That's fine with me. I just don't understand why you think it's like look okay it's fine I get it

I get it you know what I hate about this you know what I hate about this is I actually do I'm like meeting someone like this in this setting I'm so different from that no he's the sweetest man alive he's literally Lizzie McGuire movie and that's why

it hurts us that's fair we want to be treated like you're meeting queen i want to be treated like you want to fuck me fuck me aiden that i wanted that actually that actually is something like you that actually is something that i said before we started rolling was uh i wish i could clone aiden and then i could i could separate his bisexual personality into a straight Aiden and a gayden. And then I could hang out with both of them and see which one I like more. Yeah. Zipper 2 was earlier. She was like, I want to hang out

with gaymen. Gaymen. It's homophobic because you like the straight one more. Yeah, it kind of is, right? I think the gayden is Aiden when he's drunk and the straight Aiden is when he's completely sober. I think straight Aiden when he's drunk completely sober. I think Matt, Todd, and Seb can testify to that. Straight Aiden, when he's drunk, just cries. Gaiman is more fun but less eloquent.

You think so? Yeah. So you think your straight version is more articulate? Absolutely. Interesting. And so we're riding these Vespas. Aiden's a few in front of us. And me and Cutie are on the same one because she didn't get to ride.

She had to be a passenger. And we're talking. I'm like, this girl's's the worst pick for Aiden. Because she was a fine girl. There's nothing wrong with her, but she was pretty loud. She was outspoken. And she would say some things that I was like, oh, that doesn't really feel like Aiden's vibe.

Wait, what would she say? I wasn't there for this. It was just like, was it her? I just think that Italians lay eggs. I don't know why. Is that a problem? I think I've seen it happen? I just think that Italians lay eggs. I don't know why. Is that like a problem? I think I've seen it happen. I saw an Italian lay an egg.

I saw it. She didn't say something that far off. She was like, she said something when we met Francesco that was like, I thought we were in Asia or something like that. She made like a joke like that. Nothing crazy. She said something. She probably missed all of this.

She grabbed a random bottle of wine. Austin is much weirder than this. She's just like a little bit. She's like an obnoxious prick. She was just a tourist. Like a pain in the ass dude. I don't want this to ever hit her, and then you say that. But I thought Aiden would hate it.

And the Q's like, no, he'll love it. We land to this photo op spot. We talk to Aiden inside, and Aiden's like, she's really great. I got her number. We might go to the bars later. And I was shocked. Aiden's working overtime out here. I'm making my judgment call only off of the conversation

we had on the Vespa because I missed this context before. Did you have a great conversation? Yeah, absolutely. Did she bring up the egg thing? Well, yeah. But I agreed. I found out that... Wait, you guys know that's true, right? Aiden, you could date any human because you are so amicable and you get along with anyone. No, no, no.

Aiden could not date any human. He could date anyone, but. He could hook up with any human. I think. And he has. He'll like start talking to them. Come on. Come on, dude.

After you actually start dating them, you'll find out like that, oh, wait, there's more to getting along with someone than them just being nice. But that's like your barrier of entry is just niceness no but that's why that's what that's just what dating is i feel i do feel like you have a very low tolerance for like and maybe it's just because like in the time we like i've known you uh closely and lived with you it's like been a lot of covid right yeah it's like the world's kind of like different and altered, but I do find you just constantly, day by day almost, getting frustrated with the people

that you're like seeing or talking to or dating and ultimately discarding them forever. Like one by one by one by one by one. Everyone here can agree that this has happened. The monkey in Aiden's brain just started playing the Requiem for a Dream music. The monkey has one arm. The most miserable thing I could imagine is Aiden breaking up with me.

Because he does it like someone on Shark Tank rejects his music. And for these reasons, it's not going to work out. I'm out. I don't list the reasons like a psychopath. Aiden's like, I would like 5% of your time or 100% equity. Dude. And,

yeah, well, I'll give you one pipe session. The worst part about being broken up with is wondering if they are feeling any sort of amount

of pain that you are and to what extent. And being broken up with by Aiden would mean that it's like, it feels like zero. You look, he knows he knows pov you're aiden's sl and i'm aiden breaking up with you and uh yeah that's just why i don't think we should date but um hey if you still want to be friends we could hang out i'm actually that's the line i'm actually thinking about like going to

korea so if you want to go with me and you you're just a smoldering emotional crater. Like, wow, this person is gone. And then he's just driving home and he comes home to me. He throws on the weekend. He comes home to me. He still has to drive her home. And so they're going. He just didn't.

He's like, I just thought it'd be easier to do this and then drive you home. He's the type of guy to break up at the start. I've never done that. The weekend's playing and he's like, I love his music. And he comes home to me. And I'm like, oh, did you do that? He's like, how'd it go? He's like, yeah, it sucked.

And then he sits down and mauls at Valorant for 40 minutes. And then I don't see him until the next day. I hate it when a guy breaks up at the start of the date. And then wants to have the date. I'm like, I already booked the tickets if you still want to do it. And I understand how emotionally mature you are and I get it and I admire you a lot in a lot of ways. But this aspect, I always put myself in that person's shoes

and I'm like, damn, if they only knew how much he didn't care right now. Anyway, at 20K, we're doing it. That's how it feels. I do care. That's how it feels. And I know you care. He does care.

I know you care, but it doesn't seem like you do. This is such a public indictment. It doesn't feel like you do. It doesn't feel like you do, and I think that's valid. I think it's valid. Dude, it's like a subtitle under Aiden. It's a screenshot, and it says gaslit in Italian. I'm so-

I am. I'm fucking gaslit right now. The problem- We actually had a conversation about this. We finally got around to this where you sort of like, you articulated this in a more clear and less comedic fashion. And you basically explained how you never have seen me have high emotional stakes for dating somebody. And I think it's just because you've never seen me

actually date someone that I've been like super close to. Yeah, and I think that is a huge part of it. Yeah. So I think that's the main thing. It's like, I think I just take a long time

to get there. And then, but you've only seen me in the most like- Be a psychopath. Yeah. Hey, I'm happy you can admit it now.

If there's an opportunity for one of you to feel that, at 20K we're doing Aiden Fuck a Fan Club. Yeah, the Patreon 20K Aiden's Fuck a Fan Club reward center. It will be a Squid Game style contest where one of you will get to fuck Aiden. I love that show. It'll just be a QR code.

I feel like we really skated over this part. You have literally slept with more people than I have. Yeah, but I'm like 77 years old. He's literally so much older than you. You have so many years left. If you are his age and you don't fuck more than him, I'll be disappointed in you. You're approaching my number with the speed of a rocket.

He's going through menopause soon, so he's trying to get all his pumps out. I'm not going to be able to bleed out of my butt anymore. Me and Nick out here with one hand, and it's looking like we're not going to reach two by death. That's what we got going on. You guys have run out of fingers and toes. You know what this

reminds me of? After we did the TED podcast, we finished up the Patreon one and he was like, you guys talk a lot about personal stuff. Yeah, he was blown away by that. And I was like,

damn, i wonder if all of your friends are just like fake husks of human beings well okay well i didn't think this is the classic this is the classic slime yeah we like he gets us on his side for a bit we're like yeah yeah and he's like he's like yeah and then the next thing i'm like yeah yeah then he's like and then like they're they're bleeding out of their eyes and their and their souls are turning into demons that are coming out of their chest. And we're like, what? This is actually what it is.

It's like, here's my insightful general take on this thing. You know, very intelligent evaluation of what I'm seeing. And then here's my egregious, egregious, exaggeratory stance on that thing that comes in the end. Ultimately, I think it pissed me off, ultimately, because I was like, damn, Ted's cool. And he was surprised at the idea of people being candid. And I'm like, fuck that. That's so stupid.

I think they're just more conscious on their show about things that could get them in trouble. And we care less. Also, I think they're all content creators, so it's like being candid online is like, you know, it's revealing more. Where you guys aren't online all the time. Oh, I'm not a content creator?

I think the dynamic probably mainly has to do with just like how well they know each other, right? Because they basically got to know each other like through doing that show versus like that you know, we've all been friends for a got to know each other through doing that show. True. Versus like, we've all been friends for a while. I guess the difference is that even if I was,

I feel like I treat everyone the same even if I was plopped on a podcast where I didn't know anybody. I would approach them with the same level of being candid and asking questions. An equal amount of all right men's. Yeah.

I think I would, I'd read The Room, but ultimately, Luca Brasi. I'm opened up, right? Luca you know, I'd read The Room, but ultimately, I'm opened up, right? I'm Luca Brasi. I'm confident I can read The Room.

I can corroborate this story. We landed day one, and all you did in The Room was just fart. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Zipper 2 loves my bits, bro. And nobody was bored of it.

Dude, you're the problem. You're the problem. You're the problem. You're the one who laughs the most. Yeah. Super Tuesday problem. Slime was... Something I've thought about recently is slime has slightly less gas in the tank than

normal. I think the last year his farts have not been as insane as when I met him. He's getting older. He's like a dog. His older. He's getting older. He's like a dog. His eyes are starting to gray over. Hold on.

This is, hold on. Dude, the one in the car. This is, he did this. He did this. We're driving, me and him. I don't even remember what we were fucking going to. It was a covet test for the trip. And he lets the worst one he has ever ripped in front of me and then he hits the child lock on the window so i can't roll it down and we're not going still i didn't even know

it's so bad and i, ooh, that's a sour one. And you were like, don't call it sour. Dude, sour is such a gross description. Do you hear jigsaw come up? Yeah. He's like, you have to survive in this fire for 15 minutes. And you say that. You've been gaslighting women for years.

Now it's time for your turn on the gas And it's just me And I'm like So you say that But I showed him my truest form It was like when One Punch Man Like fucking gives him the real one 100 euros if you can fart right now to the mic Too small

That was tiny Yeah I won't count that But as I was saying Yeah your evaluation I would say your evaluation By the way Correct As I was saying

Slime's asshole Has been getting weaker Over time As they do Eventually your dog Stops sitting When you say sit But when we arrived

To Italy It was like Being in the mile Being a mile high Off the ground Recharged him And when we landed He had so much gas

that was built up inside of him that he was using his asshole to reply to us when we were asking him questions. We'd be like, Slime, why do you keep farting? And he's like, and I'm like, dude, are you replying? And it would be like, and it'd be like a different sound every time.

Yeah, Morse coding. I would slightly modify the shape and the yaw of my asshole every time to like make different sounds. Sometimes I'd like drop three. You were like Groot, but with your asshole. Dude, it was impressive. And Zipper 2 was dying laughing. And I had two thoughts.

I had two thoughts. The first one was, God fucking damn it. And the second thought was, oh, he's back. I'm glad. For one's back. I'm glad. I'm glad I could replenish the confidence you had. It's because I ate airplane food for fucking 24 hours. Yeah, we got a little fucked about the airplane food. Usually you get a 10-hour flight, you get two meals.

I'm never letting, I'll say it right now, I'm never letting Zipper 2 book the flights again. I'll say it right now. Put us on American Airlines, bro. One hot meal. That was actually Austin's fault. Austin did, yeah. He's like,

oh, the Airbus 321? I mean, that's going to be a great, great ride. You're going to get up to a... They pressurized the cabin in a way so you're going to have a real smooth takeoff. I thought it was great.

I fucking had a great time. No, I had a great time. You can fly up to 40,000 feet. It's a little smoother up there. No, I... Look. I thought I had a good time in business.

I'm just mad I didn't get a second meal. Yeah. Yeah. Because we slept through the first meal. Honestly. If I have enough room

to fucking manscape my legs or whatever they call it, I'm chilling. Not what they call that. You know what I did that I've never done before? Yeah. Is Aiden fell asleep

and I fell asleep on him. That was cute. Yeah. I saw this. It made me feel closer to him. Yeah. It was like a happy moment in our friendship.

I was like, I think we're here. I think we're at this point. I want you to know I didn't second guess it for a moment. I was like, oh. Well, I knew that you wouldn't wake me up and say, even if you didn't like doing that, you wouldn't say, hey, sit straight. You're sleeping?

He would sit you up and be like, hey, I didn't like that. You're sleeping. He'd tap your shoulder. You're like, what? He points to the screen. You look. And it's like, and be like, hey, I didn't like that. You're sleeping. He'd tap your shoulder. You're like, what? He points to the screen. You look. And it's like, and drop the, just Facebook. And he's like, yes!

I do. I think what is funny about that is I literally did watch an Aaron Sorkin movie on the fucking It's funny because you didn't know. You're watching Molly's Game. And I'm like, oh, Molly's Game. And you're like, yeah, it's pretty good. And I was like, it's Aaron Sorkin. It sucks.

I'm just being a prick. You're shitting on something you're enjoying. And then you're like, oh, Molly's game. And you're like, yeah, it's pretty good. And I was like, ah, it's Aaron Sorkin. It sucks. You know, I'm just being a prick. Yeah. Shitting on something you're enjoying. And then you're like, oh, Aaron Sorkin wrote it? And I'm like, yeah, that's why you like the dialogue. It makes sense. No, it actually does. I think Aaron Sorkin dialogue, just like it flips a little switch in my brain.

I think I described it to him. Yeah. I think I said to Anthony, if I remember correctly, I was like, Aaron Sorkin flicks my beat. Yeah, you did say that. Those were the words that you used. I was like, Aaron Sorkin flicks my bean. Yeah, you did say that. Those were the words that you used. That was a much more graphic way to say that. He flicks your mind bean.

That's what I said in front of you. I was like, if I had to put it more eloquently in my sentence, he's like, that's way more graphic. Not eloquent at all. Dude, you know what happened before we left? It was almost bad timing because I didn't get to milk all the content. Oh yeah, the leak. The Twitch leaks.

I don't know if you guys, I didn't talk to any of you about it yet. No. Number six, let's go. We're at 52 minutes and I started 20 minutes late. So we got like 15 left. Yeah, 15, 20. Do you guys have any thoughts on those? Yes, I absolutely do. I have such a

huge thought. I'm amazed by the number of people who have just never done simple math before. Holy shit. I cannot... Were people mad? That couldn't be real, right? That people were angry? Only at Hasan. At Hasan, and just

people shocked at the amount of money they're making in general. I think I was really shocked by the number of people who, like, exist in the entertainment or esports space who tweeted, like, a shocked tweet. Not necessarily in an angry way, but about the amount of money these people are making. And it's like, have you never taken the number and just multiplied it by another number? I genuinely think they don't understand how, like, Twitch works. They can't, right? No, but it's people who stream on Twitch.

The reactions, a lot of them, were for people who aren't Twitch viewers. Yeah, exactly. They don't know Twitch. They know Hasan's a Twitch streamer, but they were surprised by that. I know that's a small number of people, and that's weird. But I think the larger people who were upset were people who don't even know general Twitch stuff. Okay, I see what you mean. What I don't understand though is like this is

just a classic case of like being mad at the entertainer instead of the audience for some reason. Like people watch it and there are ways to monetize it and people

are paying it. That is it. In defense of the outrage it is weird that Twitch is the only platform where like you can actively have a donation link.

Donation link for like millionaires. Yeah. That's weird a millionaires yeah that's weird it's I do know I do think that's weird I don't think I do think people who donate to people who have that much money already I do think it's weird especially when there's no like TTS or anything like that doesn't YouTube law donations I think they totally do it's a culture websites do this that's the culture the culture on twitch is like like you'll be a 100 viewer Andy and you'll be making way more money. I think the issue though

is that you can't just start them out with it and then at a certain point just be like, we're deciding that you're making too much and they have to draw that line. Yeah. Did you guys see my Hasan clip? Your Hasan clip? My Hasan clip?

What is that? Because I got in that Twitter argument and then later on that day, Hasan viewed my thread and I got sent this clip. Hassan read my shit on stream. It's a quote, he does not miss. Wow.

He also recently followed you on Twitter. Dude, you know what's funny? I'm fucking, I'm on the phone with, I think it was you. Yeah. And it was right before kickball. I'm like arranging it. I'm getting it all together. You're like, oh, it's a limo, this and that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then someone in the background is like, Hassan, is like, together. You're like, oh, it's a limo, this and that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then someone in the background is like,

Is that slime? Yeah, it's slime. He's like, tell him to fucking follow me on Twitter. Yeah. I'm like, I do. And then I checked and I didn't. I'm like, oh, shit. You didn't.

No, I thought I did. And then Austin was like, yeah, follow me on Twitter, fucking slime. And that one, I was like, that's all right. Did you follow? And I did. That's pretty funny. Austin's dying for some slime attention. But yeah the people are mad about Hassan

because like Ben Shabibo made a segment. Yeah I saw that. Hassan makes this much money? Hassan gets the shit because he talks about the ideas of socialism and stuff and it seems hypocritical and it's like sure there's like I think it's easy to make that argument if you're uh on the other side you're like yeah fuck this

guy he's a very easy guy to point at and be like yeah this guy let me tell you i did great because i made my shit mogul moves so i could make infinite money and people be like all right yeah that's i just i actually just fucking don't understand how anyone can be mad at a person capitalizing on an industry that just gives them a lot of money. Because it's the industry. It's the people that you'd be mad at. Why are you consuming it? Why are you spending money on it?

No, it's like when you get mad at people on OnlyFans. It's like. Yes. She is doing nothing wrong. There's people who pay for it. Why are you not mad at them? I don't get it i think it's because the idea that everyone thinks that their side is like awoken to the world and that everyone else on the other side is getting like brainwashed and they've yet to be awake and they're being exploited so it's like this this idea is like

you're shitting on the people that like your audience you're shitting on the people that don't understand it the way you do like i can't believe you haven't figured out that if you save that five dollars you can invest it and have seven dollars in a year. Yeah. And it's just kind of whack. Yeah, I think you can't have it all. They're only mad at people like they're like they think of people

like drug dealers. Like they're mad at drug dealers obviously because they're like they're supplying like a bad thing. Yes, yes. I think the only critical analysis to be had really is like okay, if they are capitalizing

off of something that is inherently dangerous to people who indulge in it, like a drug or something like that. And I'm sure there's arguments that could be made for Twitch being like that. But when you hold it to all other forms of media in the world, it's just the fucking same thing. Yeah, and you can also say Bud Light is worse, you know?

Do you know how much money that fucking Matthew McConaughey makes for just saying Bud Light? Yeah. The NFL sells the rights to broadcast their shit for billions of dollars every year. It's billions. It's a B. It's just fun to be mad about it when it finally walks into your attention span.

It's also sick to get mad because Bud Light in NFL will never reply to you ever but Hasan will be like, what are these people thinking? Do they think socialism means no money? And so you'll get that from Hassan. You get a reaction. You will never hear from the billionaires.

Jeff Bezos will go to 7th house. And don't get me wrong. I look at the numbers. When I see how much a streamer makes, I go, that's fucking stupid. However, I'm like, yeah, I get the bag, homie. You know what this reminds me of? I posted my first angry boy youtube comment

in like i don't know more than six years on a random video like that has nothing to do with gaming and it was this clip that like popped up for me and it's uh elon musk getting interviewed about taxes and he's basically saying that like i like reinvest like all my money in the companies like i i take like a low salary and like when i finally like take my stocks like i pay like 57 on that you know like he's basically saying that like yeah here's i do pay my taxes like that's what he's saying and all the comments are like yeah this is what like the media never talks about it's like he pays plenty like all this shit i'm like all i literally type this out it's like everybody in the comments is a fucking dumbass you don't know about how like

billionaires like make like loans to themselves it is an insane system yeah you get loans like based off of your assets and shit and like those loans you get like you don't pay taxes on and that's how you can wield so much money as a billionaire you do loans so you don't have to sell your stock so you don't nobody and he never, Elon doesn't talk about that. Nobody in the comments talking about that. It's like, it's so, oh god, it made me so angry. I had never, I hadn't caved in so long.

It's been so long since I made it. I caved on the way over here replying to someone on our video. Really? What did they say? I just talk shit in the comments all the time. What was it? Some guy was like, slime's so annoying every time he opens his mouth, and it's like,. What was it? Some guy was like, slime's so annoying every time he opens his mouth. And it's like, shut up. And I was like, love to know that I ruined this podcast for you

and my friends all would think you suck. Someone commented, like, pull my pud in a reply to your tweet, and you're like, I wish you were funny. Yeah, I wish any of you were funny. I saw that. I was like, oh. It was the hardest ratio ever. I think what I mean when I say cave,

because I think I occasionally do what you do. If it's something to do with something we make or if it's more directly in the space of what we work on, say on something

like Smash Summit. I'll reply to those people and take the time to say something to them, but I never would go out of my way on a random video that has nothing to do with me and basically call people fucking idiots on the internet.

But you were in there. But I finally was broken by this video because it was so dishonest. I don't reply to fucking anything. I'm thinking specifically Twitter. I don't reply to fucking anything because every time I have in the past, every single time they have taken advantage of it and then like DM me with like now being out of my message request box dm me something ridiculous and every time i've been burned so many times that now i only reply to shit if it's like it is it is past a certain threshold like they made me laugh out loud yeah or something like that yeah and what me and aiden were getting the same fucking dm from this guy uh but we didn't know i i just told aiden like look at this dm i've been getting this guy's been

sending me the same monologue like every day. And it's so fucking funny. Let me look it up. Let me look it up. And I was laughing so hard reading it. And then Aiden told me like, oh wait, he's sending it to me too. And when I finally realized that all of us were getting it, I was like, oh, nevermind. I don't care anymore. Yeah.

You didn't feel special. I didn't feel special anymore. This guy. I also, I also found out that he, what he didn't write it. It was a copy pasta, which, which ruined it for me too. This guy sent me a real quick monologue about how I've helped him be okay with becoming bald. And it's

way oversensitive and extremely weird. I'm a Disney hero who changed his life and it's in Instagram DMs and I was just like, this is a Wendy's. Let me tell you guys right now, I've been getting a couple more DMs since Aiden closed his off. I don't fucking like it

I don't think it's funny I think 80% of the people who would normally go to Aiden Are going to me now It's not fucking funny Well Aiden closed Because you thought it would be funny And now here we are As if he didn't encourage it for like 10x

You fucked up too I don't fuck up I I'm fine with it. I don't care. Because you know what I do? I just don't read them, and you guys haven't discovered that tactic yet. Well, yeah, but- The number bothers me. I think, yeah, the number.

I click it open and close it. Oh, wow. Always. For those at home who just want to look this up, because I think what made it less funny for me was finding out this dude didn't write it, but this is like a copy-paste thing. It's like the What the Devil Tally Ho Lads copy-pasta, which is basically this long-winded explanation

of like, it's making fun of libertarian gun owners, but in the context of the Revolutionary War, and this dude sent it to me and Nick every day for like a month. I wonder if some of those people just have a script too

and they just like it's not like actively doing it. Sometimes I think that. Yeah, I don't know. This is your five seconds of fame. Yeah, you got your attention. But I do think let's have a little intervention

before we close this one out. Let's... Ludwig, you like to bring the recurring jokes back. That's your thing. You like to create a thread. Yeah. Let's do them better.

No. We have a weekly podcast, all right? Hey, it's week in, week out, day in, day out, daily YouTube uploads. How much of your power do you use on this podcast? Dude, it was funny because usually when we do the podcast i stream for like six hours then i you know i show up after that and then i'll do the two and a half hours and we were in italy day one and i'm cracking jokes left and right while we're roaming through rome for like 30 45 minutes and these guys are chuckling and like like oh man you're kind of funny and i'm like yeah i never

use this on you guys but i have no i have no stream to use it as my outlet. We need to do a podcast in the morning so we get all your crime. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like you should all quit and then work for me. That's a great idea, Slime. I love that idea, man. No, I will say, I was making your ass laugh on our grocery store trip. Usually Ludwig is the one who makes me break when we run a bit, but he was stopping at it all the time. I'm fucking on today.

What did you say? All that good and i and i think i'm funny so we were in the cellar on the wine tour and we were going back and forth like while the dude is like talking about the wine talking about the grapes and we're just like we're just like ripping back and forth between us and uh and then at the end of it like a cutie like looks over at us and she's like, I'm with Twiddle Dean Twiddle Dumb right now. She's clearly like, I feel like you're on a date with my boyfriend. I'm over his shoulder and we're like, it's all about the grade.

Yeah, man. You are wearing a corduroy jacket. Yeah, man. Shut the fuck up. What time are we at? I think we're just about at her man Can we confirm that? People got so mad that we were short

We're good, we're at about 1.25 We can go a bit longer I will say So you know how I have a small problem with communication? Yeah You have all the things that were just said just now A small penis with communication. Communication problem?

I don't. It's not small. It just finishes fast. Okay? Anyway. It's like a battery. It's like a double A battery. It's like the Titanic.

Long but short trip. And so, you know, I have a problem with communicating. I was literally embarrassed because I was trying to communicate with Nick after the wine tour to meet up with him. And I was like, yo, meet me at the David statue, the Michelangelo. He's like, all right, cool. Cause we hadn't hung out all day. By the way, our group is on foot. So anywhere Ludwig tells me to go, we are walking to. So I call him and I'm like, you know, meet us there. I get there. I'm standing in front of the statue. I'm like, yo, where are you? And he's like, I'm

here. Where are you? And then I'm like having this moment, and I'm looking around. I read the sign, and it goes, this is a replica of the statue of David. The real one is located at blah, blah, blah museum. Which is like three miles from our house. That's so funny. And I'm like, do you happen to be at a museum? He's like, yeah, the museum by the Domo. I'm like, hey, man, I'll see you later.

Dude, I was's like, yeah, the museum by the Domo. I'm like, hey man, I'll see you later. Dude, I was just like, yeah, so I felt bad because Masi, the person we were with, really wanted to meet everyone. And so like, oh, they're all there. If we go there, you'll meet everyone. He's like, great, great, great. So he walks us all the way there and then I tell him where you guys are and his Italian kicks in. He's like,

that's the fake. He was mad that you guys even thought it might be real. And I was like, brother, wait till you find out that they're not fucking here. I was like, oh. Wait, how is that a communication problem? You just got the statue wrong. Well, yeah, but I told him the wrong

we were meant to meet up and I told him to go to the statue that was the wrong, I told him to go somewhere that we weren't at. You got kind of shafted by it. I did get kind of shafted. I will say that is a much more honest mistake than you being inconsiderate and not looking at your phone. We ended up at the fake one later, like after you guys were there, we walked up there,

and there was a girl there who looks at me, and she was like, Luca Brasi. Well, first she said Luca Brasi, which is how you unlock the communication in Italy. And she goes, do you have like a thing, like a portable something that I can charge my phone with?

Like kind of a huge question to ask a stranger and expect them to have. But I did. I had a portable charger. I was like, yeah, yeah, here you go. And I hand it to her. And then she looks at it like I've handed her like a machine that like, she's from the 1400s

and I gave her a machine from 2021. And she's like looking at it and she's like, I'm like, oh, you have to like plug it in and press the button. And she like looking at it and she's like I'm like oh you have to like plug it in and press the button and she like looks at the she goes and starts pressing the button it's like not plugged into her phone she's pressing the button and I'm like you asked for this like did you want me to give you a cable

we're outside what were you gonna do without she actually just wanted like a slice of pizza she wanted something to chew on or something and I was so confused and she finally takes it I teach her how to use it. But I was like, what did she use before this to where she could ask that question? But like, no.

I was so confused by this. I don't know what they got going on in Italy. I thought that was going to end with a scam. Because that's the one thing coming to Italy. I don't know if you guys experienced this. Everyone I talked to was like, oh, watch out. Watch out when you go to Italy. I have not experienced this at all.

We've been in Florence. Did people tell you that going into it? Yeah, 100%. I think I did realize I did definitely get skim-aused at the beginning of the trip, but that's fine. What happened? What happened? The person I bought food for definitely skim-aused.

Yeah, there was a woman who walked up and she was like, money, money. Because I found out later, the thing that got me is there was a bunch of people later on in the trip wearing the exact exact same outfit yeah and then i read about then i read about a type of scam there is and she was because she definitely kind of took me for a ride like she asked for like food initially and then which is fine because like i want to help out and like buy somebody just for money and no problem with that yeah she said, but then she started going down the line and putting things in my hands, buying a bunch of extra stuff.

So it's clearly... And then I read about a type of scam online of people who wear this specific type of garb and then basically just get whatever they need from you. To be fair, it's not quite a scam. Because if they have the need to scam,

they don't have a lot of money. No, I think that's fair. I don't mind helping out. That's why I said at the end of it, is, like, even if it is a scam, I don't really mind, because it's, like, it's just buying food for somebody, and it's, like, what, 15, 20 euro?

That's not the only scam you fell for, because everyone told me coming in, like, hold your shit tight, don't have it all loose. And my mom, even, who's from France, goes to Italy a bunch she's like said the same thing We're on a train Oh fuck you dude And we're hanging out and uh and I bump into Aiden Dude

And I swipe his phone No Without him noticing Yeah it was a sick lift It was cause of you It was it was it was actually a lick It was actually Aiden with the most devious lick

He literally after like a minute, goes, oh, where's my phone, guys? The setup was so perfect because what happened is my wallet is really heavy, and it's in my left pocket, and you tried to take it out of my pocket. Yeah, we were practicing pickpocketing each other. Yeah, and then I'm like, I catch slime immediately. I'm like, it's just heavy. Like, I'm going to notice that. While I'm talking to slime, Ludwig sneaks my phone out of my other pocket.

I do the straddle. I have no clue. I have no clue. He does easy. He goes, oh. And then I swipe the phone. It was like a spin game. It was so smooth.

I was actually impressed. Very easy to rob. I'm letting you know, we haven't hit Rome yet. And we're in this chill Florence environment where it's like half tourists. You're going to get fucked in Rome. If not, I'm gonna fuck you in Rome. Ludwig, I have a question. We've got Anthony wearing his piece of tourist outfit. Don't you

have something? Oh, I spilled coffee on it. Oh, there he goes. Have you seen his thing he has? I want a piece of meat. The bee's been getting at it. He's hungers. Ah, just honey. They add honey. So, yeah. Ludwig is going to come back and he has a very special piece

of clothing. However, this is only for the premium podcast listeners, so we're going to cut it out right when he gets here. In the meantime, oh, here he comes. Dude, that's so funny. Don't come in camera yet.

So, if you want to see Ludwig's insane thing that he bought, go ahead, join the Patreon, get involved in our premium episodes. We upload them right after our regular episodes every single week. Dude, we told you not to come. Blur me out. All right. So Archie put a big blur over him. If you want to see what the fuck Ludwig is wearing right now,

go ahead, join the Patreon, watch our premium apps, and we will see you next time, probably in America, hopefully.