The Yard - Ep. 150 - Our Most Inappropriate Episode...

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

This week, the boys talk about being crass, aiden discovering slime videos, and how Ludwig completed a challenge and did 1,000 three pointers...

🎵 You've eaten more tuna than anyone here. Guy who denies eating tuna. Sardines are not tuna. I'm just saying you've eaten more tuna than anyone here. I haven't. I think you have. It's just a dean's job. I barely eat that shit. I have too much mercury.

Who'd you give the tuna award to? The tuna award? Yeah. All you, cause gains. Do you think I eat the most tuna? Yeah, I mean, have, historically, yeah. That's actually me. I used to be a freak in college. My main dish would be pasta with tuna. Okay. Thank you. This was in college, you didn't

know me. I don't care, it's not about if I knew you or not. He did know you. I wouldn't hang out with people like you back then. Yeah, because I was hanging out with Breslin. I would hang out with 6-6 freaks. We were sucking dick all night. Wait, hold on. What, hold on, what? Me and Breslin were sucking dick. What do you mean, hold on? You were sucking each other? Hey, yo, pause.

You talking about cock? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, pause, fellas. Is it gay to suck on the penis of another man? With your homie, Breslin. With your homie. I would never... Breslin would never let me suck his penis. Because you were asking all the time? No, it was more like a...

It was more like I knew not to ask. Right, yeah. Because we'd be sucking penis, but like just to get... What? Can I tax you? Can you tax me? Papa tax. Papa tax. Oh my god? Papa tax. Papa tax.

Oh my god. Papa tax coming in. All you do is fucking just... The rake, the house always wins. What a big tax. Papa takes 5%. This is California. That was more than 5.

Oh my god. Sometimes we go to 10. Rose one bite. Oh my god. Right. Papa tax. So they can open a new metro station, man. Ludwig and women are the fucking rake, man.

They're the rake. Wait, how are women the rake? It's from rounders. Women and Ludwig? Wait, did we just start going? That's good. I will never be called the Tuna Master ever again. Tuna Master.

I resent that. Don't say it like a French DJ. Tuna Master. Just to be clear The smell of tuna in here is Aiden Yeah Yeah as usual As usual

Right What that smell like What that smell That's the sardine mask Someone said in the comments last week That Dracula flow is just unforgivable for zoomers And I thought that was beautiful What's unforgivable

Yeah You know what unforgivable is The rest is still unwritten The primary difference It's like removing all. Yeah. You know what unforgivable is. The rest is still unwritten. The primary difference, it's like removing all pop culture. But yeah. Sure, yeah. But functionally, it's very similar. Yeah.

You haven't seen it? Yeah, he has. Is it the fucking- No, that's because- He just got it. Dracula Flow is his thing. Massachusetts, New Hampshire. What is it?

I don't know what this is. I know what it is. I said, bitch, go and get me a chicken sandwich with some waffle fries. It's an old YouTube video. Oh. He's in like a forest. It's a guy in a forest and he's saying things. Yeah.

Boo. Boo. His aims got so much better. That was. Yeah. I thought he used to be able to hit that. Yeah, he did, didn't he? I never heard this in my damn life.

You fucking fucker. I never heard this. You fucking fucker. Whoa. heard of this. You fucking fucker. Whoa. Welcome to the crass podcast. Oh, that was the crass episode. This was the fucking crass one, dude. I was listening.

Yesterday, or last week, we got fucked up. What? I was listening to the pod. No. Last night. The Yard. The Yard podcast. Our podcast.

Why? Because I was hanging out with Cutie. We were hanging out together. Is she a fan? She was just like, can we just hang out in the same room and I don't want to talk. I just want to hang out in the same room. I was like, yeah, sure. So I was doing work on my computer and she was knitting. Aww. Like a

seamstress. Is that what it looked like? Yeah, but then sometimes she goes, fuck! Because she knits through the pocket. And she goes like like fucking hate this I hate this and then some of a goddamn bitch fucking fucker She's like the idea of her and she's fucking engaging with knitting like how I engage with me like it's so Anything I'm realizing it's sewing. Oh, okay. I didn't know I was a different Yeah, knitting is like when you make it with just the big yarn knitting is ultimate

Yeah, knitting is like when you make it with just the big yarns. Knitting is ultimate. Knitting's like drawing with a Sharpie. Knitting's for babies. Yeah. Because you make them little hats. No, it is for babies. Oh, it's not.

Babies don't do it. It's for babies. It's a service for babies. It's a service for babies. Cool. Anyway, she was listening to The Yard. And her phone was kind of far away. So it just started auto-playing a bunch of episodes. And I thought she wanted to listen to them. And at one point after like 45 minutes i'm like haven't

you listened to this one it's like the britney episode like yeah i just don't want to get the phone so it's the most i've ever listened to the yard okay and review uh what do you think you guys get a little freaky on that premium show of yours she was not listening to the premium you know i went it was it was like fucking it auto played a primo on that no one fucking i'm just telling you On that premium show of yours. She was not listening to the premium show. No, I went. It was like fucking, it autoplayed a primo. On that premium show? No, it fucking did. I'm just telling you, it fucking did. Was it one that you put fucking words on?

It was fucking fucker. So it somehow played the Britney episode, and then autoplayed a premium episode. I think she was on the Patreon. It was going through. Does it, I Patreon have autoplay? Well, then it wasn't the Britney episode, you dumb cocksucker, because she wasn't on the fucking premium. We don't put the full of the full uploads

I don't know how it worked, but I heard just you two for like 30 minutes yappin You guys are get crass in this Vice show I think the advice show came up you guys were getting crass You know my first thought this morning was? I thought that pop smoke song, but the lyrics were replaced with Ludwig. And it was, Ludwig a little baddie. That was my first thought this morning. Did you also wake up rock hard?

No. You got him wrapped around your finger. I do. I got you wrapped around my little boob. He's asking to hang out. Yeah, that was you, right? Oh, that was so pathetic. What a pathetic pussy you are.

Do you guys think we hang out enough? No. We don't. The order was the exact order I expected. Really? Of replies. I'm responsive. Yeah, you're fast.

You go first. And you say the answer like, your answer was straight up this time you you don't read your discord messages right when you get them you read them later so you never reply immediately and then you

oh my god I know we say it a lot but kill yourself for that fucking message that was so disgusting a day later wait it was not a day later. It was the same day. He's just wrong about this. It was the same day.

It was the same day, but way later. It was later. But he's got this going on. I don't know why he's doing this. He's giggling, but he's going to be wrong. I know. I know it was the same day. When was the tickle monster coming out?

What was that? It was getting same day when was the tickle monster coming out what was that it was like a few hours he was getting me I was getting tickled I was just thinking about it I'm like we don't really what he said was

he didn't answer the question me and Eamon did and then I was also asking what time tomorrow which usually gets answered right away but no one answered it

for the podcast I was answering in order of asked I feel like that's actually appropriate. No, you didn't answer shit because all you did was come in and say, Trash Taste wants to use the set. And then you answer the question. Because when fucking Connor Eats Pants comes to the fucking knock on the door.

I would let you burn in lava if it meant a moment with Connor. That's what I'm saying. But the question is why? Isn't it nice that he's being honest with you? Finally. I would say, wow, I didn't know bones can melt if I watched you disappear. If I put my arm over his head. If I watched you burn.

It's beautiful if you reframe it in your head. Are we going to do something about that? That was like eight different places in Australia. It's hard to do the British one now. It's over. You are just Aussie now forever. Yeah, man. Morning hike, us four.

This week. This pussy bailed. What day you guys want to do? Look, I want to do this. Can I say my problem with it? What? Is that morning hike feels like it has a clear expiration time on it. We wake up, we do our hike, and then what, we fuck off?

Yeah, we fuck off. That's what he wants. He wants to pencil you in with friend time, slurry time for slurry guys. What is the opposite? We live together? No. Oh, yeah. Everything's so on a binary, Ludwig. Everything's a binary to you. We believe in binaries. Is that what you're saying?

Famed they, them, Ludwig Ogren. Only thinks in binaries? He's got like a Milo, you know, I've listening going on. Yeah But he doesn't yeah describe to that. What what what do you want to do? So look remember back in the good old days? Oh, we'd hang out. Oh, we'd be laughing right? We'd be talking about you know, but dude fucking Fuckers saying that in the way in the way poop comes out of a butthole. Yeah, and we stopped doing that. And we stopped doing that because what?

We do that every week here. The only reason I can think is woke. So to shake it up, to shake it up because we don't do that anymore, we can go on a morning hike together. Go on a morning hike. Well to be clear, we were doing that and then before he showed up and then he showed up and caught me doing the whole butt thing. Do you understand that?

We had to find new activities to do. We had to feel like we couldn't talk about butts. But remember when we'd look at the clock and be like, whoa, look how late it is. I lost track. I was having so much fun. Whoa. I was having so much fun.

I got stuff to do tomorrow morning. Should we start in betweeners right now? Oh, my God. Remember that, Ludwig? We got to go to work in the morning, but maybe one more episode? Of tweeners. Let's watch the whole series today.

Oh, no. Maybe that'd be crazy. And what you want to do, quick and dirty. You just want to get me up a hill. But maybe one more episode of tweeners. Let's watch the whole series today And what you want to do quick and dirty you just want to get me up a hill do it every way down a hill I'll do it every day if you want see that's what it's every day every day every week I will put you in a schedule the slot You hang fucker You have it scheduled That's a fact I'm sorry Your diseased brain is not normal Cause you don't do any scheduled plans

So you're weird Me wanting to schedule a hangout is normal I'm a fucking adult man Yes you are Cause you still at the ripe age Ripe age Of 33 I'm 34 and you said

wow that's crazy so I would correct you I've done this before at the ripe age of 34 you wanna have spontaneous hangouts like

like every fucking time you won't schedule one damn thing no no no you're misunderstanding here you're misunderstanding here I don't care

I've just found an opportunity to jump on you I don't care about I've just found an opportunity to jump on you. I don't care about any of this. But it's true what I said. No. I think if your age is higher than the number they say before they throw a football, you have to kill yourself. Is that fair to say?

They say some low numbers. Wait, what the fuck are you saying? They say blue 42. Yeah, blue 42. You're above 42, kill yourself. You're above 32. I mean, sorry. The question ultimately is, Zipper, can you look up what number can a linebacker be?

And that's the numbers they'll yell out. Dude, they're so big, those numbers. Is that what the numbers mean? Linebacker numbers are supposed to be high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But that's what I'm saying. What's the range?

Wait, are the numbers the numbers in the jerseys? Is that what they're talking about? Sometimes, yeah. I thought it was like a secret code. Yeah but that's what I'm saying. What's the range? Wait are the numbers the numbers in the jerseys? Is that what they're talking about? Sometimes yeah, I thought it was like a secret code. Yeah, I can be a secret code too But sometimes they'll just call out the specific number Does the guy who who hikes the ball is he ever doing like finger signals like they do in baseball Uh, I don't think people could see the fingers too. Like he's like it like below his balls He's showing a three. I do like when they do that like it's like too well. Like he's like below his balls. He's showing a three. I do like when they do that. It's like fucking hey.

But like who's looking at his fingers? Like I'm fucking, I'm hiking you the ball. It was 40 plus by the way. Oh fuck. The quarterback. The quarterback's looking. Oh dude look at his dumper. You're saying the center's giving numbers to the quarterback.

No I see what you're doing. I like that. Yeah. Two hands? That's the brain destroyer. Like the catcher in baseball. I think the answer's no because the quarterback is the one who's hooked up to the offensive coordinator and the coach. Wait, you can be mic'd in?

Yes. Dude, football's such a fucking sham. Football's dead. They're being talked to before the play. You can get mic'd in like that? Yeah, they're mic'd in. So do you know what happened? And I actually follow this because I watched John Boy a lot back in the day of two years ago.

this because i watched john boy a lot back in the day of two years ago where they so there was like there were problems where the the people were looking at the signs that the catcher was sending the pitcher and there was like collusion yeah they're not collusion but cheating i guess you would call it and so now they started doing like in ear shit and there were some games where there was literally like a voice come with the catcher and the pitcher so they didn't they could just say what they can do that on bane ball bane ball that's just smarter it is but i think they abandoned it well they had a thing there was a whole scandal where people would show up to other teams practices secretly and then steal the signs it's well yeah there was like a cipher to find the astros uh and then the astros the astros would bang on a trash can and be like two hits is a change up

and then you know to swing late shit like that why don't we ever do shit like that why don't we play professional sports and cheat in them

yeah right that's kind of what we're doing on weekends is dating my girlfriend a professional sport you're gonna use

crime for so long that might be a regular kick busting out of your mouth You know the answer, Aiden. You know the answer, by the way. To that question? No, to the question of why we don't play professional sports. It's because we played five on five for the first time against random people. I'm sorry. I don't even care. I'm thinking about

We play 5 on 5 against random people and Aiden got smoked you playing if some pickup ball Oh some street ball plays street. Why are you saying Aiden got cooked? I didn't have any I score all of our points. That wasn't enough to win. So you got cooked. Did you get cooked? I wasn't there. What? Oh Let me tell you it does get testy in basketball, though, because there's a secret MMR. It's a hidden MMR. And it determines what draft order you get.

The hidden MMR is Kelby out loud talking about what his draft leaderboard is. But also, I mean, fundamentally, even if he's not drafting, other people still draft with their hidden MMR. My MMR right now is very confusing. Because when I do play, sometimes I get like third, fourth pick. And I'm like, that's crazy. And sometimes I get second to last pick. And I don't know what my MMR is right now.

His MMR is really... This is genuinely how Waluigi gets picked. You are the Waluigi, as you often say. And Cam's MMR went down and so he was fighting fire this week. Oh, he was fouling. He was, well,

he's in rage. He was fighting fire. The MMR, it hurts. It hurts when your MMR goes down. Yeah. You need to be on the losing streak.

If you hit him too hard all his coins fall out like Sonic. He loses all his money. Are you proud of our moist moguls this weekend? Uh oh. Oh

No, I don't think they did are you talking about they didn't you know what I fucked it up because it's a moisty sports It's the moisty sports player, which you still don't care about and you also wish death pun. No I do care about sports player which you still don't care about and you also wish death pun no i do care about okay so who are you talking about the big where is it going was it hide tony nope keep going oh was it um well keep going rlcs i know was it tekken i know nope i Nope. I know. Was it... It's me. Jack. Yeah! In Street Fighter. This guy cares about fucking esports. And he's not even financially invested in the company with another content creator

who gives his takes. Wait, so I have to be invested in every esport? I think you should be invested in the one that you're invested in. I am. Oh! I am. You put a spirit in me. What was that? I will say it was Street Fighter Top 8.

We're watching Street Fighter Top 8 because we were watching Tekken as well yesterday. And I'm like, who the fuck is that? He's a Moist player and I've never heard of him. But his name's Jack, just a kid. And he got third, actually fourth, I think. Just a kid. That's an awesome tag. Yeah. And it was cool. And I thought that was cool him, but his name's Jack, just a kid. And he got third, actually fourth, I think. Just a kid. That's an awesome tag. Yeah.

And it was cool. And I thought that was cool. He's going crazy? Yeah. It's really hard to get top eight at Combo Breaker. He's going a little nuts. Giant tournament. It's a giant tournament.

Is he still stupid? Yeah, he was going stupid. Just a kid. If you're happy to listen to this, you probably aren't. You went fucking stupid on the beat. Is he a kid? Nope. He's just a kid.

21. Fair enough. Tag expires. So you don't care, man. How does that actually work? Are you an owner of that team? Are you just an owner

of a subsection of the team? No, I think I'm an owner of all of Moist I Think. I do love you saying I think. I think owner of all of Moist, I think. I do love you saying, I think. I think Moist is crazy that you don't know. That is beast. No, I like that. All I know is I feel like my job,

I feel like my job is to ensure that my Valorant team does well for Moist and that the Melee players do well for Moist. I guess this is just like when they talk about Curry or Drake being invested in an esports team. That's like Steph Curry invested in

TSM. But I'm sure if you shook him down about it. If you ask him what that means. Ask him what do those letters stand

for he'd be like I have to go play basketball. I'm gonna go be really good at basketball. Aren't Moist and Moist moguls

different? I don't know. I don't know why you guys are peppering me so much. No, I'm trying to understand. I've got a Valorant team, and I've got my melee squad. No, you don't. And I'm trying to push them. What if you don't know this?

How do you know you even have a Valorant team? What the fuck do you know? Do you have a Valorant team? Is it all a dream? Do you know if we're even here? I've seen every single one of their games. I call all my boys. Imagine he...

My kids, my sons. Imagine he just got sent something from like Moist Bidical and it just looked like Charlie and he was like, sounds good, bud. And it's just being run up in a crypto casino. And he just wired this guy like a hundred grand. And it's just like, yeah, thanks man.

We'll get you a Valor team. And real Charlie's just like, yeah, I don't know. He just keeps like, I just play along. He's like yeah, I don't know he just keeps like I just play along Hey, it's like it's okay. He's kind of weird about it. I feel good. I know it's okay. Do you I'm good Yeah, okay, dub it. It's all right. I got my squad My squad squad whoa there number two you're not my squad What I would watch you all burn lava with my moist moguls as we as we see you burn And Connor's there too? And Connor is there, both Connors

Eat pants? Wait there's two? Sea dog and Connor eats pants Oh my god they're different You knew this You vet them both Or you're really mean Well they both speak Japanese

There's two options It's not mean One wears sunglasses You wouldn't watch me Melt away in lava And disappear forever I would watch you Melt away in lava And see what it looks like

If I was liquid And then I would turn Five seconds later And be like Fly what do you think About Breeze I would ask him that You miss it

You miss that map It's in the pool right now It's in Are you happy it's there Because I remind you Of a beautiful place Yes I think it's easier

For you to wish My bones would melt instead of Nick's. Both your bones would melt the same. What about his bones? You don't want his bones to go. Oh my god, his bones would melt so fast. Oh my god, yeah. They're like hollow. That's why you don't want to see it happen.

He'd be putting a peep in a microwave. You'd pull me out. Would you pull Aiden out with half of his body? So I could say Ohio goes I'm us to Connor Heats pants one last time. Is Aiden out with half of his body? So I could say, Ohio goes, I musted Connor Heath's pants one last time. It's Aiden burning from the feet up, but he goes, oh! The whole way down. Like, even when it's just his head,

it's still going. It's just like, was all of his organs in his head, was he the only guy like that? He's like, oh! Oh, wait, it hurts! Oh! Wait, this, it hurts. Oh, wait. Wait,

this one feels good. It feels good right now. I would save it. Thanks. But in exchange, I'd keep you mic'd up for the rest of your life. Mic'd up for the rest of my life?

Ooh. I don't usually like to listen in sometimes. That's a career ender. Because, you know what? This guy was a little freak the other day. What? No.

What freaky Aiden do? What'd he do? What if he was Aiden, but he was freaky? This little freak sent me a message. He was like, he was like, hey, caniden do? What he do? What if he was Aiden but he was freaky? This little freak sent me a message. He was like, he was like,

hey, can I go swim in your pool? And then I was like, and I was like, all right, okay. He's trying to Stacy's mom you. And that's,

I was like, I was like, just you, like, what's going on here? Are you asking me to go swimming? Do you want to swim with your girl? And he's like,

I just want to swim with my girl. I was like, all right. That's, oh, dude. I was like, that's fine.

And then, but then I tried calling. He shows then I try call this is Raul I try call him cuz I'm like what do you want like what do you want like what are you trying to explain to me what you really needs to go down yeah and then and it doesn't answer I'm like wow so I wait a couple minutes call back no answer send a text no answer I'm like this guy's freaking his shit. He's freaking his damn shit in that pool. He's freaking his fucking shit in the pool. And that's what I thought. And then he sends me a text

and he goes, I was sorry I was playing games. I was playing board games. Fuck my ass. Bro was playing board games. I knew something was wrong because when I called you back, you sounded and I was like, hey, can we still can we still call over?

You were like, hey. Stop. You sounded and I was like hey, can we still can we? Sorry you're playing ones and banana grams one V one a bit. That's crazy. You're telling your girlfriend. Hey grams find the banana And it's fucking And then we got wrapped up in the game yeah We still wanna come swim yeah, you're a little freak Aiden ate an open palm smacking someone over banana grams i can see it happen i think he would just throw the grams or the bananas you think i do get i do get i do get tilted when i play banana you're just bad i'm getting dealt a lot of x's and v's you're getting cold decked i'm getting cold decked everyone gets dealt the same hand man that's

I'm getting cold decked. I'm getting cold decked. Everyone gets dealt the same hand, man. That's... Famously in every card game, we all have the same hand. You should force it. Any two can win. We all get the same letters in Bananagrams. So what you do with it, I would crush you in Bananagrams.

You probably would. What is this game? You gotta spell it like banana or something? It's kind of like Scrabble. It's like fast Scrabble. You have a bunch of tiles and then you you start with a certain amount and then you have to build like words with the tiles that you have and then as soon as you run out you say peel which force it you get to take another one to continue going

but it forces everybody else to take one as well and then you stop when the pile runs out and your goal is to have no unused tiles by the end of the game. Were you 1v1ing? Yes. It's weird to 1v1. It's so much better than me at this game. That's why she wants to play it with you. We should make liberal Scrabble,

and we take all the words out you're not allowed to say anymore, and there's no words in the game. Okay. Whoa. It's like an art installation. Yeah. And then you put it up on a wall. And all the Scrabble pieces are rainbow colored.

Scrabble if woke and it's just the board. Yeah. And the opposite presumably exists in the world. Only based. Well, the only

based Scrabble is Scrabble and it's every row filled by the F slur. I don't know. What would it be? It's based Scrabble

but some of the tiles have the forward slash. Impresa was the world champion. He's never lost a game. He's the rain man of that. He can spell the F slur out of letters you've never even seen. He just says peel a hundred times on your place. Peel, peel. It's okay to have sex with your girlfriend and then call Ludwig.

You don't have to fucking I understand I would be honest about having sex with my girlfriend But we were honestly playing Bananagrams So there Did you end up going swimming in his pool? Yeah You stink it up

A little chilly Well surely you showered before you left And then went to the pool Left that shit Made it smell like tuna Ew Dude You left the tuna If that part Well surely you showered before you left and then went to the pool. Left that shit made me smell like tuna. Ew. Dude bro. You left the tuna the fuck man.

If that context wasn't in before the episode that's gonna sound crass. Yeah. But it is a crass episode. The same. Fucking fucker. Yeah that was kinda fucked up of you man. Fucking nasty little fucker. Can't be talking about.

I know. That's what we said. That was disrespectful. But Zipper threw up the fucking thumbs up that means we're recording way after we talked about you fuck me for the last time okay dude this is this is the same evening we're we're in we're in bed that night not me and ludwig being zipper three and she's like i've been watching slime videos oh no and i was like the other, I was like, why would you be watching Slime's YouTube channel? This is my first thought. And then

she pulls up this shit from Instagram Reels. Can you look this up? Like food slime videos? This is terrifying. They also have like 20 million views a video. You sound ancient right now. I don't get what it is. Can you please explain to me what it is?

I've been in his spot before. He's just finding out. Let's be gentle. I didn't know about this. Do you buy it as the thing and then break it? I don't understand. So like, what is it, a hundred people are dropping out of a bus? How is the bus flying? You talk about Ray's more!

You talk about Ray's more! You talk about Ray's more! You talk about Ray's more! You talk about Ray's more! I'm so annoyed. I'm so annoyed. I cannot buy this! I don't... So what happened so annoyed. Can I buy this? So what happened?

Wait, how many free is company? That's crazy. Fuck you. Yeah, bro. It's fucking slime videos, man. This is it. This is it. That is literally it.

That is slime videos. It's like, it's kind of like saying, yo, I heard this like rock song and it's like, oh, you mean blues? And it's like, no, it's the same thing. Like you're, it's an offshoot of something that existed okay i i guess i didn't expect i have you not seen the specific food ones that i'm talking about where there's like they have like a whole meal that's designed and it's all slime and it's but i thought I thought it's okay There is a slime museum in LA right now, and I was thinking that's gross

Kids can go in they can all play with it. Oh, can we like? Recognize when we grew up Nickelodeon's whole thing was that slime I'm not talking about green I'm not talking about green goo That's good for the kid That's good for the kid I remember in that show It wasn't Double Dare It was some game show No it wasn't Hidden Temple It was where the Nick stars

Were like constantly on it It'd be like a rotate The people from all that And stuff like that I think his name was Danny Figure it out thank you Zipper it it'd be like a rotate like the people from all that and stuff like that and there was one i think his name was danny can you like danny oh figure it out thank you zipper zipper i said it out and you would get slimed and one one guy just loved getting slimed he would get slimed and he'd like flick his hair back and then go yeah and i was always like that guy likes the slime zipper

i sent it to you man danny tamberelli zipper! Zipper knows. It's like a... Zipper knows. An hour long I think you should leave sketch of the slime keeps dumping on the one guy. Yeah! And he can't escape it. It's like screaming. Just do that. Stop! Stop!

Stop! You die. Huh? Mm-hmm. You die. No you wouldn't. I would live. An hour? You would die.

You can't move? You would die. I would live. You can move. You also can get air. Yeah, there he is! Ah, Danny! There's Lori Beth. Danny always loved being covered in that sticky stuff.

Danny, you got slimed. Do you think Danny loved it? Do you think every time they would record, they'd be like, Danny, we're doing it again. Yeah. And he'd be like, guys! Yeah, there it is! Oh, that's a great clip. Yes! That's an awesome clip.

Danny getting slimed number two. Zipper, zipper, pull it out. Alright, pull up Aiden's fucking slime thing can we bring back fucking getting slimed we can I wanna do a game show we all get slimed together

if you think about it in the NFL you slime the winner but with Gatorade I did this I already did this you slimed someone oh my god

shut up we're talking I sent to you on discord Lubbock said slat to me this morning juiced I remember he was trying to make JIT work with all the offline TV

friends of his, and they did not like it. They would, we were playing Valorant, and he said it, and the whole call was just like, whoa. This did not happen. This did happen, and it's, you know what? It's recorded. Find the clip. Burden's on you. Oh my god, I got banned, I got fucking banned on Twitch for seven days, and they

killed all my VODs. It literally still exists. I'm telling you it never happened. Why? Bro, this happened. Why are you banned? There's no evidence. Uh, when I, um, I got fucking banned on Twitch for seven days and they killed all my VODs. It's literally still exists. I'm telling you it never happened. But why? Bro, this happened! Why'd you ban it? There's no evidence. Uh, when I um, I got, I think it was for a week. Oh, I didn't, it meant recently.

Yeah, yeah. I thought you, yeah. They delete all your VODs, I found out. That sucks! I know. Alright, ZipperPulp, Aiden's slime video. Okay. It's a piece of toast and then they cut out a-

And it looks like toast but it's slime. Oh, but it's fucking slime! No, wait. No. Look, look, you can buy it- You get fake eggs? Eww! And then- and then they pretend to bake it?

Yeah, this is weird. I love it. Oh, gosh. I love this. I thought it- I thought, like, they were gonna eat it. Oh, I think I'll bite it so bad. I think I'll bite it so bad. When she tonged the egg yolk, it felt like my balls were getting tonged. It still looks delicious, no matter what happens.

Yeah, it looks yummy. Oh my god. That's the most yummy looking slime I've ever seen. But can you just buy it and get fake eggs? Yeah, you can buy slime kits. Slime kits. What do you mean get fake eggs? Then you can't do the stretchy part. No, but that's what that egg was.

Did you see? I also think it's weird. What you're saying to me is this is weird, and I'm saying I also think it's weird. Okay. That makes me feel bad. I don't think it's weird what you're saying to me is this is weird And I'm saying I also think it's weird okay That makes me feel better. I'm with you man. I thought you think everything I think all of this started with sand cutting I think that was the genesis of it all sand cutting soap cutting no no no sand was first They'd take kinetic sand was definitely before so you're talking likeam No no no no There's like Like dude I was watching I watched a video like this Maybe in like

Like middle school Moon sand Like moon sand Like that kind of stuff Moon sand number one buyer And then you cut it But it has like a grit When it cuts

And it was like an ASMR thing I don't like this And what I will say Is throughout history Autistic people have always existed So there's always been a market for this I bet in like 1930 In the depression There was like a guy Who was just like And what I will say is throughout history, autistic people have always existed. So there's always been a market for this. I bet in like 1930 in the depression, there was like a guy who was just like, like, like paving bricks in front of people and be like, Oh, fuck.

I think autistic people were invented the same year as moon shoes. They came out in the same factory. Maybe it was like Sega Genesis that really did it. It's like, we can't really document it until that moment in time. And it's like, oh yeah, Ghostbusters came out for the Sega. And I don't know what happened. This is the same thing as people who make fake food out of Legos. It is.

And they cut it and it cuts. That one's stop motion. Those are fun because of the sound. Why as humans, we like looking at food that isn't it food? Because we like food. Of the food. Of the cold, hot, Because I want to eat it.

You add a subversion of expectation to a thing we all like. Which is food. Which is food. We have to like that. We have to like that. It is.

We're coded to like that. Some people don't. Babies come out and they go, I don't know what those two things on that chest are but I want some of it.

Me and babies. You fuck you. Arm, arm meme. You hit the tap twice. And you think it just comes out like that. It's your hand, the baby hand. It's so good. We do love boobs, huh boys?

What can we say? And being an all American podcast. I can't stop eating food. No. Really? Don't laugh at me. This is brave. Don't laugh because he's being brave and you're being a jerk.

He's addicted. It's so stupid. I'm addicted to eating food. What can I say? You don't know how to eat like me. Oh, it's French DJ here? It's French DJ here. Here to tell us about HelloFresh?

Yes. How do you know that's why I'm addicted to eating food? I didn't even say it yet. I chef it up quick for you. I have to make the meal, but I make it quick, man. I put it right in your mouth. How do you do it, French DJ? What's your favorite thing about HelloFresh?

I guess it's that there's so many recipes, but my favorite part is when he eats the whole thing, takes a big shit like log. Okay, hold on. Back up. What? What? My favorite. It's because there's a hundred add-ons

to choose from every week. They can't do it anymore. I'm worried. I got weird. You take big shit like log. Yeah. Well, look. Hey. HelloFresh is nice. They put all the ingredients out. They give you all the ingredients sent to your door. You look like a to your door All the instructions

This is just not what I thought the chef Who pre-portioned the ingredients Would be like But I do pescatarian sometimes for this guy But hey you're okay Comes out faster when he's pescatarian That week They have fit

From fit to wholesome to pescatarian to veggie. Your shit goes zero to 100. That's the worst we've ever done. This was really good. How many weekly recipes

do you make? Do you plan? Sometimes I feel sad inside. French DJ, I feel like there's something different about this particular HelloFresh experience,

though. Can you tell us about that? What else have you been cooking? Many days, I don't know if I want to wake up. It's dessert, French CJ. You get free dessert for life. I love sweet treats. If you use HelloFresh.com slash the yard sweet, go to that,

and use the code the yard sweet, you get dessert, which is a new dessert. Free dessert for life? I thought Aiden wants to live. Did you think the sweets would make you feel would make you feel like the life won't last long so not many dessert for me Hello fresh time slash the Yard Suite Brought to you by French DJ who is certainly not going through an existential crisis America's number one meal kit for France The Yard Suite with code the Yard Suite Please reach out

We're fucking all American What can I say it's the crass episode It's the crass episode For butts full of fucking what Everyone go around Say one crass word we haven't said In the podcast today Okay sorry about that Aiden

Whoa dude Jesus man I feel like I just got electrocuted in Street Fighter in the podcast today. Okay, sorry about that, Aiden. Whoa, dude! Jesus, man! I feel like I just got electrocuted in Street Fighter. I feel like... I feel like I touched Blanca. Is that even crass? That's a good question. I don't know.

I don't know if crass is... Aiden, we're a sitcom. If this is the only episode they watch, they don't know you're gay. So you have to be careful, okay? No, it's okay. Let me do something gay. Actually, maybe they don't know you're gay, so you have to be careful, okay? Let me know it's okay. Let me do something. Maybe they wouldn't know it's my vibe Give me some gay Saw challengers, and I applauded oh that was the them making out in challengers was the best scene in the movie

Yeah, oh you grow up. Did we get it Okay what's your Oh I have to follow that We're following that Yes You kind of just stopped the show No no no I want to continue this Really you want to continue this

Say something crass That we haven't said in the episode It could be one word Or a phrase Um Uh Uh Labia

Ooh Ooh Ooh Okay Okay I got one I got one labia Dilled asshole like pickles It's like little salty. Is it my turn? It's your turn. This is good. I want to keep it classic.

Of course. Just a little bit of sperm. I love the oldies. I was raised on oldies. It's Ralph Lauren polo green. It always can work. It's never not going to fit. Just a little bit is so funny.

Where did it come from? The rest is somewhere else. It's not enough to be from the whole load. Welcome back to the Crash episode, everyone. It's so crazy. The crash episode. I don't know. It's so crazy. Areolas.

You're keeping it rolling. That thing in the back of your throat. Uvula. What are you talking about, dude? You can't say that. That's what it is. Epidemic. That's what it is. It's called a uvula.

You can't say that. I'm just saying uvula. Stop. Thing in the back of the throat. What? They'll cancel you. You smoke too tough. Guess I'm just saying, you've, you've lost. Stop. Thing in the back of the throat. What? They'll cancel you. You smoke too tough. Guess I'm willing to take this heat.

Man. We get up to some old nasty shit on this podcast, don't we? Yeah, man. We have some old fucking shit. You're a little nuts. He likes it. What are you chuckling so much about? Your burgundy sweater.

My burgundy? Wait, oh, my burgundy guy's sweater? Oh! Oh! It's a be-yarmed! Oh! Cool. I won't turn the camera, so that they have to wait. You have to wait for it, you idiots.

Don't ever look at his chest. Don't look at his chep-a-chest. Ches- Why did he go Hannibal Lecter? I don't know. I'm feeling weird today I think I can tell I'm so balancing are you okay

what in what way because everyone's after you not everyone's after me everyone's a piece of your fucking ass no

everyone in the world is after you right now literally the fucking biggest hater who spreads lies and deceit about me sits next to me on this podcast

Aiden I am disappointed who spreads lies and deceit about me sits next to me on this podcast. Aiden. I am disappointed. You need to stop. I've been up to no good lately. Like imagine, imagine for a moment. Are you saying that he's the source of all your problems? Yes. Let's imagine for a moment there were 10,000 of them.

10,000 of him. 10,000 slimes. Do you think that would be worse? The smell. Yeah. All the way down. Do you think it'd be worse or not as bad as what I've dealt with? They'd all take care of each other.

Hold on, I'm doing math here. What are you... I do math on how much they can squat. That's 65,000 inches. I knew you were going to say that. What? I knew it. Can to say that. What? What? Can I just be me?

Can I just be me? Yeah, it was hard math. I had to use a calc for that. It's a big number. No, I know. I go, I had to use a calc for that. It was tough. Yeah, if there were 10,000 of me, your life would be forfeit, bitch. It would be hell. Yeah. No, I think we would all come together and know our collective responsibility is 10,000

strong. I don't think you would even get along with yourselves. I don't know. I do. Absolutely not. I would. I've had this conversation recently. If I met myself, I'd be like, I think that guy's cool.

Dude, neither would want to hang out with each other. It'd work out great. Yeah. No, we would hang out. No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. Yes, we would. No, you wouldn't.

No, you know what? Because nobody would want to schedule anything. We would want to hang out and we would respect hanging out, but we wouldn't pull the trigger. And I think that's just as beautiful. Because none of you would be brave enough to be like, hey, should we maybe plan something? Because then the other 9,999 would kill him. Each one of you would tear him apart and eat his bones. No, no bones would be. Each one of them is tear him apart and eat his bones. No, no bones would be.

Each one of them is too preoccupied by their own Australian roommate. They have a Josh man. Well, yeah, if you make a bunch of slimes, you have to also make

a bunch of Josh men. There has to be 10,000 Josh men. You have to make a bunch of Mileses and it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. It's getting smaller and smaller with each iteration. Like Yoshi glitch.

I want a pocket Josh, like a toy dog. Oh, you don't. No, it'd be nice to have a little pocket Josh What like you said everywhere table and he starts dancing Like that Shrek filter that was going around And his organs come running inside out. Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! ! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! We do a little test With four Joshmans And a mini version Of that submarine That got crushed in the ocean Oh

Like we make We remake a model And we put it In like a similar environment But they're toy Joshmans So it's like Would you If you could

Take your one and only Josh And cut off his head And then attach it to your belt Like Ymir And get a God of War So he comes everywhere with you What does it mean If you could

He could I could Sorry so that But when you cut off his head He doesn't die oh he's alive he's alive big detail to leave out well i said is that how it works he got a war yes no i wouldn't do this because josh should be i i like how he can do things he likes that's what a good relationship is is when he gets to play video i don't need to cut off his head and put it on my belt like Umar. There's also some stuff that are like in the higher up cupboards at their house. Uh-huh.

Yeah. You throw up the head. You say grab it with your arm. No, there's not. Because it's my place. So shut up. I say, Josh, I don't care that you can reach us. We're not using these ones.

Just out of principle. Just out of principle. Just out of principle. I never want to get on the counter in my own home to get something out of the cupboard. Yeah,

if a girl sees you get on your counter to get a dish, it's over. That's an ick. That's a huge ick. It's over. You might as well

have a backpack on. If you ever get on your tippy toes for anything, just call it. I don't know. Is it an ick? Because I did this the other day. It depends. Every girl has to figure it out. I don't know how to break it to you. I had to get on your tippy toes for anything, dude, just call it. I don't know. Is it an ick? Because I did this the other day.

It depends. Every girl has different... I don't know how to break it to you. I had to get on the counter to hang up the Ronald Reagan poster because I couldn't reach. Back up. Okay. I had to get on the counter. To hang up the next part.

I had to get on the counter. Because it wasn't high enough up. It wasn't high enough because I had to go higher for the poster. And you were worried that you were on your tippy toes. Yeah, I'm worried she might get the ick for me being on the counter now. Right. Because she liked the poster. Because she's a huge Reaganomics fan.

She just understands that it trickles. Yeah. You should, what is her icks? Have you ever asked her? My nose hair? Not your particular icks, but like, icks like, you know, as a girl. I think that's it, right?

It's just all nose hair she hates. No, I'm saying, but like, well, yeah, I think that would be an ick for it's just all nose hair she hates no I'm saying but like well yeah I think that would be an ick for her if any guy had them on anyone probably yeah what I'm what I'm saying because I was talking to someone they said their biggest ick is when a man is pushing a shopping cart with both hands fellas we can't do anything anymore I do hate when the ick is just a thing you have to do I know to participate in society I was like what it's also not I anymore. I do hate when the ick is just a thing you have to do to participate in society. I was like, what?

It's also not, I don't think it's a genuine ick. That's what I was thinking. I think that's theory crafted icks from single people. No offense. True, yeah, yeah. Was that person single? Yes. Okay.

But I was thinking, I was like, in my mind. Bro, you don't get to have icks. You don't have anyone. Yeah, yeah. What are you getting an ick from? I'm not talking about icks. I'm saying for them. Oh, God.

I felt attacked. Holy God. I was like, oh my God. We're going to unpack that later. Yeah For them okay Holy I was like oh my god. We're gonna unpack that later. This is hard. It's our adversarial I could make it I was like you know I bet I could do that in a cool way Push the shopping cart like the shopping Cool way by running and then sitting on it for a while. And going, and going, Wheeee! And like, kind of bending over a little bit so you're kind of like angled with your feet straight

and you're like a big line and you're bouncing on it as it goes. But then it starts to turn. I would never- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, front pushes me i have x for all of you what you have an ick for me yeah it's your socks your socks are a fucking gross ick oh what about them the fact that you wear like under ankle socks i hate it they just i hate it i wish you would wear some some damn mid calves you look so much better no he does sometimes though it's an ick Yeah but He's not today He's wearing his like Little fucking socklets

Socklets? Yeah That's kind of ironic Are you a ballet dancer? Honestly What are you trying to hide The socks from? Socklets?

Are you scared people Are going to see them? What are you trying to hide it from? I'm wearing these socks Because I haven't done laundry Dude we have such High arches together Yeah

Touch my foot Me and you Look at our high arches Mmm Damn it This is See this now it's never What if we did Dude, we have such high arches together. Touch my foot. Me and you. Look at our high arches. Mmm, damn it. This is, see, this is now, it's never. Ooh, what if we did our, interlocked our toes? Ooh.

Through the socks? We'll do that. That's the Patreon episode. Actually, it won't be. Well, we can't do. Yeah. Okay, wait, finish your thought. Oh my god, I forgot. Finish your thought and we'll get to that.

So, you're, my ick for you, my, for those who don't know really quick cuz I know Aiden has to do our patreon every every week We do a patreon episode of the show and Aiden has to do this week's Completely alone because he missed the last one because he slept through it each right He just missed the whole you thought it all about what you're gonna do yes I have an idea of what I am going to do it is what I do need You guys do have to answer a question today after the show. Nope.

Nope. Not gonna happen, bitch. You can answer the question. Sorry, I'm gonna sleep in on this one. I think I'm busy doing anything else that time. For the next 24 hours. I have to go. We're locked in the next 24 hours.

Where are you going? I'm going to Calcutta. I'm to leave. Where are you going? I'm going to Calcutta. I'm an assassin. Wow. And now you're out of here. Now the CIA is going to kill me. Oh, cool. You fucking blew his cover, dude. Thanks, man.

Thanks. Cool. Hope it was worth it for your little podcast, your little YouTube with your little Nintendo. By the way, if you don't know, if it's the worst performing premium episode ever, Aiden has to do it again the next week. Yes. That is the rule. What is that? It has to be universally agreed upon by the fan base that this fucking

shit never happened. Critically acclaimed is the worst one. If it was genuinely the worst, then you had to do it again because you have to do the punishment correctly. We're going to give it a tomato meter. Yeah. Rotten tomato. We'll have to do the punishment correctly. We're going to give it a tomato meter. Yeah. Rotten tomato. Tomato meter. We'll have Otto cook some shit up.

Why do trailers respect rotten tomatoes so much, though? Trailers? Yeah, because you'll see a trailer, and it's like, 99 tomato meter. Because isn't that just public opinion? Everyone uses it, because it's an aggregate. It's just crazy. It's a shitty aggregate, though, right? Yeah, but it's one that a normal person would be like, oh, I know the tomato thing.

But in the new wave, shouldn't they be like five stars on letterboxd yeah sure but there's not is there an aggregate on letterboxd as well aggregate here what does that mean here does it combine all the stars on letterboxd yeah that that they should start doing that that's what i'm saying it's the it's the to me it says there's more this will happen in the next two years there's more millennial going to see movies still i think it just means there's more. This will happen in the next two years. There's more millennial going to see movies still. I think it just means there's more Gen X who are doing the marketing for the movie. Do you think Zoomers are going to see fucking movies? I asked this question.

Yes, absolutely. I asked this question to Zoomers at our, we had a family gathering, and they were like, yeah, of course. Of course. Who do you think's watching Challengers? Me. Me. Or Aiden.

Did you see it? No, but we will see it. Zoomers will see Challengers, but don't know about Potion Seller Guy. Dude, I'm on TikTok, and they're posting fucking Catch Me If You Can. That's crazy. And they're freaking out. They're going nuts on it. They're like, dude, this movie's cool.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, literally that. That movie is cool. It is a great movie. That a very fun movie i want to go back to it it was funny i was like we'll we'll talk and finish i thought we'll talk about that later and then nick just said no we'll talk about it now okay so my ick for you is your coffee order excuse me it's just an ick the fact that you always fucking die hard this this mid starbucks

order is an ick for me what the shit this is it it what you order this is a white hello star duck my my ick is that you drink that much of it and then you leave it so I have the same thing yeah that's true fucking clap zipper I'm gonna cut your hands it is all it was for me when it cleans it has everything to do with the ice content because if they don't put enough ice so the ice stays in for a long period of time and it melts I don't want it and it gets warm and then I don't drink the rest. That's not why I do it. I do it because I get bored.

This is a white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew. What the fuck are you laughing about? I left my dick shirled inside of me while you were saying that. Oh, because men aren't allowed to drink sugary drinks because they're warm. No, men can't have white chocolate. It's called a white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew. It comes out seasonally. I messaged Nick Engling when it came out.

I was like, it's back. You messaged your friend when it came out. You're excited that Starbucks seasonal drinks are coming back? I always have been. This isn't new. If you were that excited about it, I think you'd finish it and then throw the cup away. You would think that. But being a goddamn red-blooded American yeah I just throw

this at the wall yeah you could nothing matters that drink would kill an Australian it actually would take him down you one time you're full flat whites to resuscitate yeah it's one of those full sweetie oh my god dude you guys you are you guys don't understand when What do you order when you get boba? I get light sweet. I hate sweet boba. Just sugar and boba. No, I don't.

That's why it's my ick for you. It's my ick. I don't have an ick. But half the time I'll get fucking coffee with half and half and no sweetener. I mix it up. Dumb bitch. My icks when you have that. He only needs his morning milkshake half the week.

I'm being fucking slandered. I'm being crucified for something I didn't do. And that's not fair. That's not fair for it to happen. Do you understand? You do do that though. So it is fair.

I don't think it is. What comes on you comes on us. Just a little bit. Nick, my ick for you. For you, baddie. Oh, no, I know it. It's when you sing. I like this, though.

It's 100% when he sings. This is me. You got the fatty. It's actually not. You're lying. No, I am lying. My ick for Nick is when he takes off his glasses, 100%. Oh, God.

Yeah, 100%. Jesus Christ. It's like I can't fucking help it. Yeah, I know. Oh, you can. You can leave them on. You can keep them on. Yeah.

Right? I know you're thinking about doing it. Don't do it. Don't do it. We don't want to see it. I'm going to get them surgically attached to me. You're going to get glasses tattooed on your skin. I'm going to be the yok who have a glass I got this weird

My friends I was at a Warby Parker Yesterday and I got my glasses fixed and now you guys may be feeling nerdy Fixed yeah, why why cuz they were sliding off their babies. I got this nigo Thank you, they read they re screw these so they're tighter I see and they bend these in more Can you just do that? No. You should get... Well, you can get an eyeglass kit for this part, but they like... This is like heat.

They use heat to bend these. I think the more kills you get, you should get different camos. Oh! Get the red tiger. If he shows up with a red tiger, we're like, damn. Are you okay? What happened? Whoa.

Oh, I saw you instigating. I saw you instigating. You want him to play against Banks and Nate. I just think he would win. I would fry them. I believe that. I believe in my boy. In that game, yeah.

What? Nate? I don't know about Nate. Nate was a professional player. I don't know about Nate. Nadington, Shoddington. I think this is very own. 1v1 quickscope rust is much different than like playing GB format.

Nick has a high Gaming ego we know this But I think for this he would do very well. I'm not I think not believing I think banks can win Really that's good. I'm just an agent. He wasn't like great. He might just be an H. I hate her I love how you know what I is that the river should win He's favored here, but I think that the, Banks has played more 1v1s. What a reverse ick for me is when you guys talk about something. That's a turn on. What?

So what's your turn on? A reverse ick? Yeah. You just, you're turned on by something you did. Something that makes me sexually excited and eager to have sex with each of you is when you guys talk about something that you know a lot about really confidently with you it's events and like merch and stuff with you it's like call of duty yeah what about me god and with you it's like it's actually funny with you because

you would think it'd be like yeah no it's not the lord above it's it's more like it'd be content right but it's actually not because when you ask you questions about this you always give some fuck shit answer you're always like i don't know it depends and it's like shut up i have a fucking opinion i like how quickly you have an answer he didn't give me the reverse he just gave you the part of it. He just told me that it wasn't this. You know what my reversing for you is? Is that when you're presented with a situation that like, what? You just keep saying reversing.

Just something you like about a friend. Yeah. I'm sorry. Are we not speaking the same language? No, I get it. Sorry, continue. What? Your reversing for him? Thank you I get it. Sorry, continue? What, you're reverse-hic for him?

Myra, thank you, Aiden. You know what? In a rare form, we're allies today on this podcast, the crass episode. I'm an ally every day. That's actually not true. I don't know. That is really not true. I support the cause.

Don't do this. I support the cause. Don't do the thing. I literally have a reflex. What is the cause I don't know Don't do the thing I literally What is the cause Every gay person In the world Having freedom

Okay That's Okay This is their penis I just think The gays should be able To do this My reverse

Ick for you Ludwig Is when a situation Is happening That sucks Or is like annoying Or like stressful For you You're very good At dealing with it And seeing And making it So everyone can win If a situation is happening that sucks or is annoying or stressful for you, you're very good at dealing with it and making it so everyone can win.

You know what I mean? He stays so calm. He stays calm and he truly believes that everyone can have a good life. True. We can. Do you think that you scream in your head all the time? There's blood coming out of all the parts. Or if it's your brain.

Unless I'm playing Valo. I think you need a better person for it if there was more blood in your screaming. I'm okay without the blood. I think a lot of people need the blood. I don't need the blood. Well, we don't need it. All we need is food. I think some people need the blood.

How much are Nate and Banks playing for? Probably 100k. I'm just throwing out numbers. You know what? They should play. It's enough to hurt. If Banks loses, He should have to Take off his hat

Like double D He would play his Hair His hair off They should get tattoos Of each other's Fucking Just big old face

That's gonna be like On the chest Like Steve-O on the back Yeah That's cool Or like you get 100 feet Dude

No you should have to get Like a kill feed But it's their name Killing you Dude that'd be brutal That's pretty good though Yeah Or that'd be brutal that's pretty good though yeah or just honestly the opposite team's uh logo which is like really good that's really funny yeah yeah opposite teams oh can i um say something real quick yeah is that is it fine

that's cool yeah i think it's okay let me go for it man eat shit kai day fucker eat shit what happened eat shit red bull athlete over here 1003s i'm an athlete from red bull so talk your shit honestly oh yeah so so for those who don't know this is the contextualizing episode as well as the crass episode is that you have to say you have to do both. Okay, so... Don't do this, Chris. Fucking fucker, Kyne. There we go. Back on an episode of Untamed Intern, laughed in Ludwig's face when Ludwig told her, Lily,

and those two women straight up to their face, he said, I'm an athlete. They laughed in his face, which is really funny to do to ludwig that's crazy that has to go on your license or something that that happens because i did the shoot the shoot with fucking um uh with kaide and uh she would just she would relentlessly roast me. Like I would say some shit I'd be like dude we're only two points behind. She'd go we're only

two points behind. And everyone would laugh every time. Oh my god that's so sick. And she did it like 20 times. That point calculator's downloading. She'd be like oh wait hold on everyone the athlete says we're two points behind. I was getting so cooked, man.

And is this what serves as the impetus to come home and shoot 1,000 three-pointers? And I come home, and I'm like, I am an athlete. You're like Kobe, dude. Yeah. The haters can make you stronger. You're the white mamba. There was a thread on my Reddit, and it said why Ludwig is delusional. And it went in how I'll never score 1,000 threes and how I'm brain dead and my shoulder will give out. And I, in like talking about all the numbers is stupid.

And I read through the thread after doing it and I was like, fucking dumb piece of shit. Here's the thing though, you piece of shit. I want to talk about this because this is a big deal. I fire up a Ludwig stream. Ludwig's doing the three-point stream yo this is exciting i see ludwig not shooting from the three-point line yeah what a terrible stupid mistake for you to make it's not a mistake man you're just not a hooper you don't fall oh my god what you cannot say i'm gonna shoot a hundred or thousand three-pointers and i fire up

a stream and you are in fucking front of the three-point line that like optically it's bad Optically you don't care because you don't think about shit like I do Like a genius. I think I think there's three there's three three-point lines. There's three of them now. There's three That's what they that's liberals fucking they won't basketball to decided on three. There's three fucking All of them three-point lines lines but there's also one point it's college like in the middle of one okay uh it's okay to have three point and i'm back to two points and the thing is i i only i only do it for the real hoopers who know no you just didn't want to find a court that had the proper pain. Dude, someone should take...

No, no, no. It wasn't that... It was literally... This was like the best court to use. The issue is that it's used by an NBA guy. Someone should take Ludwig's confirmed height from unpaid intern, rotate him sideways, measure the distance to the hoop, and see which ones were legitimate three-pointers and which ones he jumped over.

Also, you can't... Wait, wait, wait. Jumping over doesn't matter. Isn't it where you land? No. That's where you guys that's what you guys told me no no no it's where you take off oh uh also can you just jump like can you look up nba yeah look up nba three point layup well i also don't like about this while zipper looks that up is that you like there's got to be a couple if not 100 of them, where you were probably over. No.

See, you're just saying that because you have to say that. I was just kidding, I just wasn't on the line. I was kidding about it. And this is why the project was a sham and a failure. And I do not accept the results of this election. I just don't. Look, man, I don't take deep twos, I don't want to tell you.

You're saying there's probably deep twos in, I don't take deep twos. I don't want to tell you. You're saying there's probably deep twos in there. There weren't deep twos. No, it's not going to be from the actual NBA. It's just an NBA line. It's the same thing, but yeah. But there's videos of guys

in their own fucking TikTok and they run and they jump and they go and they finger roll it in. That's cool. It's crazy. That's wild. I've had three-pointers

taken away from me in our games and someone would be like, oh, you landed over the line. That's why I thought've had three-pointers taken away from me in our games, and someone would be like, oh, you landed over the line. That's why I thought that. No, you stepped. You were stood on the line. It's probably because your toe's on the line when you take off. No, I was told specifically.

They were fucking. They were wrong, apparently. You know what? It was probably Cam. They're a dumb asshole. We could cut Cam's head off and put him on our belt. There it is. There it is.

Oh, my God. Wait, play that one more time. Play that one more time. And that counts? Yeah, it's a three, apparently. This fucking liberal world. Whoa. That's so sick, actually.

I can do that. But that's also a high school three lie, which is why it's harder to do in the NBA. Can I hit you with something? Please. Okay, ready? Yeah. So instead of kiss me through the throne,

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Did you just say seaman? All right, back to the episode. So you are... Do you think you can jump farther than me? Farther? Yeah. Like a running start jump? Running start jump.

I don't know. I've never tried. I think you're lighter. Actually, I don't know that either. Fat boy. Okay, hold on. Are you fat then? Is that what you're saying? Do you I don't know that either. Fat boy. Okay, hold on. Are you fat then? Is that what you're saying?

Do you guys want to run a 4x100? What is that? It's the 100 meter relay. Like us on a team? Yeah. We pass the baton. We each have to run 100. Oh, that'd be great.

How far is 100? 100 meters is 300 feet. It's like, I don't know how to describe it in different terms. One meter is like three feet. We should do it as like a challenge. To how to describe it in different terms one meter is like three feet we should do it as like a challenge to like all the

like the fast trash taste but you have to be like a podcast or something yeah loser goes in lava I'm doing a video

I'll leak I'm doing a video where I want to do every Olympic sport and see which Olympic sport's the easiest it's the rings it's the what

the rings the rings yeah that shit's for like the gymnastic rings Yeah, I think that might be the hardest I've been looking at gravy the X smash player now father and he'll do the rings There's looks so I'm like Jesus fucking right muscle ups on him. Yeah, no the rings are I think it's gonna be shooting Isn't isn't video games in the Olympics now?

Not like actually no I think it's gonna be shooting Isn't video games in the Olympics now? Aren't there a couple? Not like actually no Yeah and I bet they got painted nails too I think the IOC has some video game inclusion But it's not like you don't get a gold medal I'm not saying are the games not memes I'm saying are they actually in the Olympics There's some video game component now right

Didn't they run like a big campaign I don't think it's fucking real You know what I'd be really good at You know what my Olympic game would be? It would be that machine that teaches you that drunk driving is hard at the museum. And you crush that game? But I crush that game.

You start doing tricks on it? Yeah. I was so good at driving drunk as a fifth grader. And then the machine, it really tries to make it hard because they don't want you to drive drunk they didn't want you to but I was kind of challenge really I was aki with it and they were like the aki way I was the Lisa now guy eeb of simulated drunk driving would you find I didn't find zipper can you find I'm pretty sure they're just including it but like the

titles the headline titles are more sensationalist than what's actually can you find? I'm pretty sure they're just including it but like the titles the headline titles are more sensationalist than what's actually happening. How many sporn are you going to do? I don't know. I think I have like a list.

It's not all of them because I'm not going to do like 1v1 like badminton or fencing because there's no my goal is to compare to like the like world record

or Olympic record. I feel like the easiest would be whatever sports are the just the least played, right? Like it'd be something niche like BMX. It's like you just have the least amount of competitors to overcome in that sport.

Like running is just inherently the hardest. No, I don't think running is the hardest. Rings are the hardest. Because the most people are running. I also have spent the most time doing that sport but running wait are you saying the easiest for you specifically i guess like how close i can get to the world record uh because like yeah okay probably then running is gonna be because like running it's like you're shaving but running what i'm saying is like running is one like a bunch of the running categories

they have like some of the longest standing world records because of how long and how many people have competed in it. Right. But I think, I don't even know if I can fucking do a pole vault. No, you can't. I straight up just don't even know. It's scary. It is.

It scares the fuck out of me. It's scary. It's because it's so bendy. And you go so high. And then the pole can impale you. What about high dive? That's scary too. I know. I would miss the pool. I the pool could like impale you. What about high dive? That's scary too. I know, bro.

I know. I would miss the pool. I'll do a high dive with you. You just want to die. I'd clear that shit like the Sum 41 video. So we can do the 4x100 and compare ourselves to the world record Jamaican 2008 team. Would they win? Yeah, they crushed.

So you can, with that that distance you can full sprint yeah the idea is like the first person has to do a clean hundred but then everyone else gets like a running start oh yeah because they're handing because you do the handoff so you're able to get like sub you know 100 meter times i can get like 34 sums of record if we get if we beat their time can we can we say what if we just do the same it's a stupid thing it is because it's like hold on no but what if we do what if we do be real if we beat their time we won't well not with that mentality yeah like i feel like we're going in we have a fucking a banker who's the slowest fucking weighing us down running yeah probably one of us everyone close your eyes

everyone close your eyes and point to who you think the slowest would be in the 100 meter dash one two three we okay unanimous unanimous uh but if we win, can we say that everything's I-ory? That's what's in the Olympics? Can we become the Ross Yard if we win? Dude, like a reggae version of the theme song? That'd be so funny. If you heard that, let's just get on that. We found the Olympics thing.

It's its own separate thing. Fortnite, Just Dance? It's its own separate Olympics. Dude, Emerith actually gets a gold. Yeah, she's just the best in the world. Gran Turismo. Wait, that would be the most hype category ever. If, like, all of the hot tub streamers who play Just Dance,

like, were all Olympic competitors now. Dude, a Just dance million dollar competition with all the hot tub streamers but they have to fucking game has probably not been labbed yet like real labbed yeah you think by some nerds i'm saying like if there's a million dollars on the line the way it'd be labbed because if you're if you're like a hot tub streamer like that you're not thinking about how do i get the highest score in just dance you're like looking at the the money arbitrary code injection in Just Dance. It's like, yeah, if you do teach me how to Dougie

and then you crank that. And half of a pin drop. It like stores in the RAM in a weird way. You can actually play Minesweeper. Yeah, coding doom with just throwing it back in Just Dance. Oh, I was going to ask you. All right.

So you in the group chat, you said, do you think we hang out enough? And I'm like, yeah, we don't. But let me tell you. Let me ask you a question. And I want us all to chip in here. If there was a day in which none of us had anything to do and everything was irie. Irie. Okay.

And there wasn't Ludwig trying to slot us all into his little slot. No friendship slot. Why am I getting exactly your content? And there's no content. I liked your suggestion. What would you, what would everyone's idea be of a thing to do together

all day that you would want? All day. Like a full day, one activity all day, not like a multiple thing. Yeah, or like enough to where like,

the day, we don't have to do anything later, right? There's nothing pressing. So it could be all day. It could be a little bit of a day, but like, you know what I'm saying? Can you just like, turn away for a second? The tough part is, We don't have to do anything later, right? There's nothing pressing. So it could be all day. It could be a little bit of the day.

You know what I'm saying? Can you just like turn away for a second? The tough part is something that he won't leave. We have to go far enough away. I think we have to go far enough away. He'll call an Uber. He'll do it. I've seen him do it.

But we have to pick something where he won't leave. I don't think that's your onus. I think at the end of the day, you have to let this butterfly fly away. And if he flies away, then you just go, I knew you didn't want to hang out all day. I'm asking what you would want platonically, a platonic perfect idea of what we all do.

Because that's the word. It means the ideal. I would want to go do something fun. So maybe we... of brave kind of brave oh my god sorry for answering the question okay we can move on who else okay getting dinner is not something fun if someone's like let's do something fun and you don't you don't go to dinner is it that's that's not all day It can't just be I was getting there

We're all here. You're going to sneak snacks in. To the experience. I'm a big man. I need some snacks. We start our day with paintball. Something we haven't done before. We split up in teams.

Okay. And we do something like that. It's fun. We haven't done before. Have you guys played paintball before? I've played a lot of paintball. Oh. I guess you've all done it besides me. Oh.

No, I've never gone. It's fucking fun. You look like you paintballed as a kid. It hurt. Visually. I'm saying shit. I'm saying shit on comms. Like, bad stuff.

Right, right. Like, get off comms. Stop saying that stuff. Okay. And then we go get dinner. Because, you know, we're starting at fucking 2 p.m. So, it's already like 4 or 5. We get dinner.

And then we all go to Dubbin's house. Whoa. We wind down at Dubbin's. And then we watch some funny TV or video or tweeners. And then it's like 2 a.m. and we're like, what? Your turn will come soon. And it's not now. We play paintball from 2 to 5.

We have dinner 5 to 6. And then we watch shit from 6 to 2. Yeah, then we go home and watch Kaisenet. We basically do eight hours of watching video. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I get it. We need a second dinner in there. No, we...

What? It's like 9 p.m. now? I think you guys are getting hung up on this whole day schedule thing. I just meant more like paintball was the answer I was I was looking right people's a great idea stay would be fun I don't I feel like that's not true though because he made a suggestion. That's essentially that no Well, I wasn't saying I'm looking for to go to paintball. I'm just looking for that what that's answering my question What was your suggestion you would want? I think we could go to We could go on a drive together

to Solvang. Where the fuck is that? That goofy little Danish town that's in Southern California. I might have said it wrong. I don't know about that. You can't call it Danish Goofy. You can't call it Danish Goofy. You can call it Danish Goofy.

They got fucking windmill. That's the Dutch, I think. What is the difference? And I genuinely am asking that. We don't need to think about it. They have a windmill. That's unbelievable. It's in California?

Yeah, man. Less than two hours away. I think it'd be fun to go somewhere funny and ridiculous like this together. Drive there, drive back, and then spend the evening

at Dubbin House. I take it back. I also want a road trip. A road trip. Road trip would be really fun. Road trip. Road trip. Ren Faire could be fun.

Ren Faire could be, I've never been to one. Ren Faire is a good idea. Mine is K-Town Day. Lovely wants to do something involving Asian culture. could be fun. Red and fair could be, I've never been to one. Red and fair is a good idea. Mine is K-Town day. Oh, lovely wants to do something involving Asian culture. What is in Korea town?

And we end at Wii Spa. Uh, exactly. Close it at Wii Spa. K-Town day, fucking, you eat some, eat some fucking yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,

yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, We could walk around. We go fucking Wii Spa, look at each other's dicks and shit. Sure. Get some delicious K-BBQ. Yeah. And then fucking karaoke.

Karaoke is a good idea. I know. It's K-Town Day. I love karaoke. I know. And then, so K-Town Day, we walk around. Is it just us four? It's just us four, but me and Aiden take psilocybin from one to six.

And then- What are we on? The microdose? What are you guys- do you fucking we can get like a really kombucha you're on google maps telling us where to go right we do a 30 shot latte i said you're on google maps telling us where to go okay we're the workhorses we're the pack horse camels to your desert experience yes yes what about you what about you? What about you sweet lips? These are all really good suggestions from my lips What I would want to do is

We you know what and this this might surprise you the answer may shock you okay? That is the least shocking answer what because I I I think i'm different now yeah and i would just oh i see why i would like to play mini golf are we betting and maybe we bet but like what it doesn't matter it doesn't matter okay and i like to have a little bit of the fun and i like a mini golf and i like tiny little buildings and i'll go live in one and you'll leave me and i like this whole thing i like shooting a shooting a ball into a tiny little building. And then it comes out in a different hole. And that's funny.

And then maybe the hole goes into the hole in one. But maybe it's the right one. But it just rims the thing. And it's like, oh, no. That was supposed to be a hole in one. But it's not. But that's all right. Maybe we should just do real golf.

Because it's a sunny day. No, that's fucking hard. I have real golfed once. I've never real golfed. But I was too young. I had no attention span yet. You know who's been hitting me up to real golf. This is a sunny day. No, that's fucking hard. I have real golfed once. I've never real golfed. But I was too young. I had no attention span yet. You know who's been hitting me up to real golf? Miles.

It's Miles. Miles loves real golf. Miles wants to run it. He wanted to run it today. You know what I'd do? He has stuff to do, by the way. Driving range. Like top golf?

Or like driving range? Or like just an actual driving range? Dead ass driving range. And if we drank we I'd get hammered that's the one place you can break edge the range. How about we start with a good old-fashioned morning hike though huh folks? We can do the one I did we could do bridge to nowhere and ford the river together. That was hell. Vito. Vito. Vito. Vito. Don Vito even. That is a... Yeah.

Not rip. Not rip, no. I do not wish him peace. Just rest, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Don Vito. I think that's our first unanimous Vito against Aiden.

Don't ever come into my office with some shit like that ever again. You never wear those fucking socks again, man. But Ludbin's always streaming. It's my fault. Are you fucking with me? Oh, Connery's pants is coming to... It's coming to town.

It's coming to town. I think Conner's coming to town, he is. When's the last time you three hung out? I suppose that I'll have to... Like, actual hang out. Yeah, he is. When's the last time you three hung out? I suppose that I'll have to... Like, actual hangout. Yeah, no work. Hangout, hangout? I mean, what counts for us?

I feel like we hang out, but it'll be like a group. Have you come to a game night? No. I came to a Lego Batman night. Yeah, Lego Batman night. It's a great fucking movie. That's the godfather of movies. What?

Just the three of us? Yeah.father of movies what just the three of us yeah no it was just three of us we don't fuck we've been doing last time just the three of us hang out i mean it's if you know what it is it's when ludwig leaves after immediately after the podcast because he fucks us with the lights off and then just goes home and doesn't give us breakfast and then we hang out a little bit after that's not a hangout yeah i'm trying to think of like a real like what he's looking for. Like, go and do something else like that.

Like, the three of us arranged. That hasn't happened in years. I think it'd be weird to hang out the three of us. I think it'd be weird to hang out any combination

of the three of us. Combination. Without the fourth person. Yeah. Or just the three. Yeah, it's a little weird. I mean, it would. Like, I might be quicker

to reschedule. Yeah, right. In that world. I think you guys to reschedule. Yeah, right. In that world. I think you three is the most likely trio. Because if you were like, hey, we're all doing this thing, the four of us, or the three of us, do you want to come? I'd be like, I'm almost Tekken King in Tekken. So that's cool. Are you?

Yeah. What color? Yellow. Is that above red? The second yellow. Is that above red? It goes yellow. Is that above red? It goes red, blue. There's four blue levels

and then it goes gold, I guess it's called. Oh, and that's what you're about to get. And they have to go through four golds to become God of Destruction. He's chewing through blue.

It's rank inflation. People talk about he's chewing through blue. Hmm. Well, we can hang out. Here's what I want you to do in the comments below if you're listening

to this fucking episode. I want you to comment two things. Here's what I want you to do in the comments below if you're listening to this fucking episode. I want you to comment two things. One, what? Tell us how to hang out with each other. No. We forgot. We don't know what it's like. I want you to comment, one, you're ick.

And I don't want it to be some fucking cringe-like joke. I want it to be a genuine ick that you're like, my brain is wrong for this. And also, if the person wasn't in love with my life, I wouldn't care. I think that's interesting a genuine ick that you're like, my brain is wrong for this. And also, if the person was the law of my life, I wouldn't care. I think that's interesting to read icks. The other one is, what do you do with your friends? I want ideas. If you have them. You probably don't.

Because you're listening to a podcast. They beat off with the fucking mic still on in Discord. Fuck, dude. And someone hits the fucking knock soundboard And everyone squeezes Their dick a little hard Dude That scared me Dude I don't And also I'm still jacking off

Listening to Yan Bust a nut On discord I don't want that Don't pick a person Why do you gotta put that in there Why do you gotta pick an example I don't like that you made it Yan

I don't want that Big Stepper doesn't need this Yan doesn't deserve that You said What you said Yeah but you put it But you named it You named something

You know what I mean Like Now it's harder to let it go I love Big Step How did he become Big Step You should just see what he does On the court right He's tall he steps He's big big fucking man I like that when we play basketball it's the only

We don't have like seeds We just have are you big or not because we have to separate the big from the small Though it's like okay each team gets two bigs. There's two important stats. There's big and there's stamina Dude big is so good in basketball big is good stamina is really important by the third He's big shuts down stamina no no on a breakaway it doesn't but if they're like if they're like at the fucking hoop shoot on me bitch yeah big is early game and stamina is late game yeah that's true and if you're big stamina scales yeah you do an early game stand them what's your pouch? What's the most interesting thing in your pouch?

TikTok I think the thing that you would like the most is this Trader Joe's mint Trader Joe's mint Alright man You guys remember

those old Altoids The tangerine ones The sour ones The sour tangerine ones So they don't make them anymore obviously I'll take one

And the three best friends have mints together now No one else gets one Only three mints and only three friends Yummy for me and yummy for three I don't have one yet so we're gonna have to figure something out Okay You like that smell?

I know how you get down I'm gonna shake it I'm gonna shake it cause I know how you get down You have a mint man I don't want mint You know what I mean? Um, so Oh!

Jesus I actually tossed it to you No you didn't Yes I did It's in the hose Um, so Oh! Jesus! I tossed it to you! No you didn't! Yes I did! It's in the hose. Why didn't you catch it? You threw it like a dart! I tossed it to him slowly! You said you could Like a shuriken! Well I guess the fucking audio listeners will decide

for themselves. That's how the kid That's how the kid who's really into Naruto like throws things to his friends Yeah he's in middle school. It's so sweet, it's so weird It's like sweet kid who's really into Naruto like throws things to his friends. Yeah, he's so sweet. It's so weird. It's like sweet, but it's not sweet. It's like sweet, but grass. All right, what were you saying?

The tangerine Altoids. So sorry for anyone with misphonia or whatever because we're all chewing now. Oh, come on. You heard that from downtown, dude. I'm not even in the mud. That's got to sound horrible. That's going to hurt someone out there. We lost a listener.

Comment below if that sucked. If you didn't like it. And I was like, oh, I missed those. I feel like everyone has arrived for this thought at some point. So I ordered the artisan ones that people remake now. I've seen that. And they're nowhere near as good. Really? I have them, though. Do you want to try them? Right now? Yeah, I have them, like, the artisan ones that people remake now. I've seen that. And they're nowhere near as good. Really?

I have them, though. Do you want to try them? Right now? Yeah, I have them. I want it! I'll go grab. Give it to me now! You fill.

I'll grab. They're like knockoffs? Yeah, they, like, remade them. Like, hey, remember that shit that you had in middle school? Why did they get rid of them? I don't know, man. Why is it rainbow made? Why does Ludwig not know which moist molo got in Street Fighter Top 8?

It's light refracting. Light refracting? To both. How does posi-track on a Plymouth work? It just does. What is he saying? Is that a tech thing? Posi-track? Yeah. Oh, make sure the wheels go balanced onto

the pavement if you're uneven. You understand? I don't think he knows. Excuse me? I don't think. I'll be a cow's dick. Do you think given a dozen years you could build a car

from just materials? I don't know if I had like people to help me lift things. No one is there. No, I couldn't do it. You think you could build a car from materials?

That exchange was like an AI conversation. That was like, do you think you could build something with a lot of stuff hey like

great question they look good they look good I think you guys will discover what my problem with them is quickly I remember these very well

by the way I used to fuck with them heavily and always alright here we go Misa I don't think I know what these were I don't think they threw this much citric acid on these back in the day.

Oh! So, the review here, it's an initial punch to the mouth. I'm coming around. What's the problem? The edges are sharp? No. What are they called? I don't know.

What is the new one called? I feel like I'm talking to Sherlock right now. Watson. What is your problem with them? No, we had to figure it out. It's the citric acid. It goes away too quick. Yes.

And then it's not sour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's way too quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got to put that shit in the candy too so that it lasts longer. It was really sour, but now it's not. Who makes Altoids? We can get to the bottom of this.

Pretty sure it's called Altoids. Altoids, yeah. No, no, no. They're probably owned by a subsidiary company. Dumbass. You think it's like Nabisco or something? I think it's Altoid Company. It's Nestle.

It's part of the Collard and Bowser Company. Which is a subsidiary of Wrigley. Wait, it's Wrigley? Which is gum, bitch. Mars Wrigley. This is how this works. You think people own shit? You're an idiot. Wait, of Wrigley. Wait, it's Wrigley? Which is gum, bitch. Mars Wrigley. This is how this works. You think people own shit? You're an idiot.

Wait, Mars Wrigley? The only people that own shit actually, weirdly, are Red Bull. Mars Wrigley? Like both? Or is that a guy? Yeah, dude. Mergers get you rich, and then you can fucking have little prince castles. Who owns Mars bars now?

Mars Wrigley. Probably a board of directors. Did you know this may be like a factoid? No, Wrigley's is owned by Mars. What? Wait, Mars Wrigley. Mars is like the one.

That's what I'm saying. It's the Viacom of like candy. It's the Johnson and Johnson. So Mars Inc. Wait. Can you click Mars Inc.? Follow the money. How high does this shit go?

Zipper? Do they provide veterinary services? Pull up the bank statement. Founded 113 years ago. 45 billion in sales. Founded in Tacoma? Low key, that's not that much. Bezos clears.

Yeah. You know that gum sales went down drastically after the adoption of the smartphone. I've heard this. I don't know if it's true. Jenga sales went down drastically after 9-11. No. Can you look up Jenga sales by year?

That's so sad for tower-based puzzle games. Yeah. Ugh. Why did everyone start playing Bloons Tower Defense? Plummeted. That was not in 2002. Yeah, it was after we killed Osama. That was fine. Bloons tower defense? Plummeted. That was not in 2002. It was after we killed Osama. So it was fine.

Bloons didn't come out until 2006. Oh my god, the dip. Look at that. Holy fuck. I love the recovery though. It bounced back. In 2003 they were like, you know what, they can't take this away. Wouldn't we sell more? We can't let them win.

Stop me from picking up these wooden blocks. Wouldn't we sell more? We can't let them win. I'll trade them and stop me from picking up these wooden blocks and putting them down. Wouldn't we sell more Jenga Towers? Why would we sell more? We gotta give demonstrations. Do you think in 2001 they were like, guys, just so everyone knows, this is what happened. Yeah. No, because if that was like ancient Rome when there was no TV, they'd be like, okay, so this happened last week, I'm going to show you how.

My boy wife. And then they knock it over and they're like holy shit that's crazy he's like yeah now we just have a news broadcast now we just can see the plane go into the television from like 800 angles do we sell less like fucking I don't like nerf guns after war I don't know if there's a correlation maybe after like school shootings. Whoa. I would believe that. Dude, if 9-11 happened today, but it won't because of woke, I think that...

If 9-11 happened today, it'd probably be 5-27 instead. It'd probably be 4-gay number. Okay, if 9-11 happened today, imagine the gun sales rose in 30 days after each mass shooting. That is crazy. Yeah, but what about Nerf guns? In the past 20 years. I bet it's because it's like hoarders. People who think they're going to take the guns away.

Oh my god, that's gross. So the sales spike. That's dark. Dude, yesterday, because we have a shoot coming up that requires a prop gun and uh radstads has has two prop guns as many on twitter have seen they're mine oh i bought them yeah but they're his but they've been at that house for for ages now and he brought them to the park yesterday dude that is insane and and because to, I need, I need them to be at the office and he didn't, he had them in his,

in his car. Cause he was smart enough to not bring real looking guns to the basketball court. I got it right here, but I'm doing it. Oh yeah. Archie pay attention. This probably can't get shown on YouTube.

And then I'm like in his trunk, like putting guns into a bag that I have I'm like trying to look behind me to make sure that I you know Trigger Some discipline fucking listen up One I need you to apologize about my fucking finger off the jury. Sorry They don't look say Sorry, I like sorry. I like your feet

Having sex it wasn't banana grams My god I knew it! I want to touch it. Oh my god, heavy. The weight is like the scary part. It's an airsoft gun. It's a great airsoft gun. Also, when we did the shoot with Caleb for the monkey with chocolate, I had to go. So there is this place in LA.

It's like this old woman's house. It's literally in Hollywood and it's a house. It's a home. She leases out prop guns for any kind of production and like cop outfits any sort of like action sequence dude you go in it was like a fucked up like hoarder armory but they were all fake but it was like rows of rifles and m4s and ak-47 then you open like a thing and it's like pistols and bombs and like all it's all fake

because it's all for you know movies and shit but is there a rule around this in california by the way i was looking up prop like basically prop cons on amazon because i was gonna buy something originally but i couldn't get most of them shipped to my house i bought this on amazon and it shipped to my house most of them yeah that was two years ago because this is an airsoft gun so it's actually not like dude it's got little like it's so funny. Because this is an airsoft gun, so it's actually not like... It's so funny because it's got what do you call it? It's got little bullets.

You put the airsoft pellet into the little guy and it's like, bang! Look at that. Isn't that really funny? It's so realistic. This is made to get you killed. I want to try something. Displaying an illegal firearm in public is an infraction in California meaning you could receive a small fine But no jail time. Oh there we go. Wave that shit around bro

100 bucks There's no focus the one in front of the gun lives forever Yeah, I gun lives forever. Oh, okay. That's like a real enemy. Yeah. I went to the shooting range in Texas and they had like a hitman style wall with every single gun and then the flag of where it's from. A lot of Nazi symbols there. Really? A lot of Nazi guns.

A lot of... You're telling me Nazis like guns? Nazis loved guns. The Germans... What the hell do they want to do with it? They love guns. I think there's definitely a weird new overlap with guys who like guns a lot and guys who like... I don't think they... Think about Nazis a lot.

You should have a gun all the time. Yeah. I think your vibe would drastically change. You should open carry. You think so? Yeah, because if you were the way you are, but you also have a gun... We'd be able to argue with you less. You really?

Yeah. You would just be like... Aw. Argument over. I have a gun we'd be able to argue with you less you really yeah, you would just be like oh Are you over? I have a gun? What's that kind of like no no no I don't want you to do the fucking You're good bang my gun handy my gun shaped wallet to the cop Shaped wallets would be such a It's my ID. Sir, I'm gonna

get my ID. The chamber. Like, you take the chamber. It's my credit card holder. You have to click for the card to

pop out. I remember suicide by cop was like a hard thing to achieve back in the day and now I feel like it's much

easier to achieve. I feel like that... No, like, okay, you know what, maybe it was the media coverage. Uh, but... Like, it was harder to do it. But nowadays, like, you just, if you just pretend you're a 40

pound dog, a cop will shoot you immediately. I'm just outside and I'm like, donuts and coffee, I don't fucking understand. And 40 bullets enter me from all directions. That's true explain furcon What'd you say? Explain furcon Furcon animals are too big They scare the cops away

But a pomeranian who won't stop barking That is getting pumped full of lead That is getting pumped full of lead I think you might be the only person who's also seen this video Did you see Anthpo's like comeback video about furries? Did you see Anthpo's like comeback video about furries? I wanted to know what you thought about that because on one hand i thought it was really good and really funny and

on the other i was like this feels like even though people are anonymized this feels like an intrusion he made a video where he went 200 days undercover as a furry and then wanted to get invited to a sex furry party and then he like filmed part of it where there was like a big furry like papa furry and then it was him pumping papa furry's legs and anyway he removed that part of the video if i remember correctly and then he did he submitted an apology or he posted an apology yeah why did he apologize it's crazy to take a huge break from youtube after saying you're gonna quit then unquit lmao and then immediately do an apology video after an apology video it's just I think it's like an apology I think he had I think he had perms and I think he blurred

faces he did blur face but it still felt like what did he blur the furry face mask basically well the someone had it off too oh that'd be so funny if you have to that's their fursona i know you can recognize permission from people and i was trying to think about this is like is there no harm done if ultimately like nobody's identifiable in the video and the video is really interesting like i enjoyed the video so it was i was like oh what's the ethical it's okay to enjoy michael jackson's music i think trying to get to a sex party for the sole purpose of doing it for youtube video is probably like probably not good it's like it's a bit of fraud right it's like you don't

actually want to freak you just want to be like hey i went to this thing yeah it's like if you're going to the no loads refused cum dump event and you're like straight up refusing loads but you're just there to be like dude they're not refusing loads here it's like if you're going to the no loads refused cum dump event, and you're like straight up refusing loads. But you're just there to be like, dude, they're not refusing loads here. It's like, yeah, we know they're not refusing. That's what it's called. That's what it says. It says it right on there, and you're not cool for this. I also, after watching this video, got recommended one of his videos

from like the prior year from the furry account that he'd been masquerading under, and it's talking about if he could beat you. Sigma pause, yeah. Sigma pause if he can beat you in combat. And realizing that that is Anthpo six months later is very funny to me. Because he went undercover as a furry and had a furry YouTube channel,

and he made a video called Could Sigma Pause Beat Ludwig in a Fight? Oh. Yeah. Dude, I forgot. I like you. Oh, yeah, you guys have, um like videos that you have you put in the watch later and it's like this will be good eaten but it's like way too fucking long or

something yeah well i just saw one drop it's from this uh like souls sorry from soft lore channel called brothers code and they basically just explain the story of one of the games but like in very long form and detail and it's a four hour elden ring video and it just dropped and i'm like i've been making my way through a four hour video by uh jenny nicholson about the star wars hotel that they opened up about that dude i've been it's crazy because it's a four-hour video with five million views and I'm I'm like halfway through long videos rock YouTube the revenue Ludwig. I'm Long movie guy I would love that. I would love that. You're good. You would love it. Your vibe is all different with the gun. It sounds great.

You'd be so good in the law. I'm so agreeable. And your vibe can be different in the Patreon. I'm not blinking. Just open your eyes a little. You stopped arguing with him. The vibe is going to be really different in the Patreon because it's only Aiden. Tune into Aiden's show.

And please, please, if you watch, give your honest review. If you thought it was literally the worst premium episode ever and not worth your money, then let us know because he has to do it again the week after. And be honest. Be honest. Don't just try to hurt him. But don't try to be nice to him either. Just earn your suck.

I earn the suck for once. For once. For once. You fucking earn it. Oh, yeah. Goodbye. Bye. See you later.

Bye.