The Yard - Ep. 153 - We Went to a YouTuber Convention

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

This week, the boys talk about attending Open Sauce last weekend, doing a live show infront a crowd, and how we could open our own airport...

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🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 You don't give a shit if Sonny gets out of the water. You can stay in there like a sim when you take the door out of the house. You don't need that. I got the fatty, fatty.

You don't have that, Sonny. I'm sorry. We were talking. Are you? Why do you keep? Why do you have yummy on your mind? Why do you look like that? Oh, my God.

Am I not right? Am I not right from last time? About what? How he acts. That he's being weird? No, that when I was Ludwig for the day. Oh, I get what he's doing. This is so normal.

Like this is every day. You're acting like this is some kind of bit that you're one-upping me on, but this is how you are. Hey, welcome back to the yard. Woo! Episode 153. We're back, baby. Are you acting like a caricature of yourself?

What are you talking about? That's kind of all he did this weekend. I'm not going to lie. No, he was just being himself. He's just being a good gamer. That's what I'm saying. I can't be me around him. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't want to do that again, but I will. So this is the guy you're talking about. I love this guy. You're telling me Ludwig scrolling Donkey Kong Rule 34 while I try to call my dad on Father's Day isn't him being him? All right, okay. So first off, first off, let's back up. We went on a trip this weekend.

Yeah, that's like if it were a movie, that is the YouTube clip that would play. And then we recline? Yeah. And we go, we all laugh. And then da-da-da-da-da. We went on a trip this weekend all together for some in a while. clip that would be like why yeah we go we all laugh and did and then uh we went on a trip this weekend all together for some in a while because we haven't been hanging out no we've been falling apart from each other thanks to live in drifting it's over we've been drifting everyone knows it everyone knows it

except for me you we go back please they once please two marks we're drifting he's drifting anyway we went on a trip to OpenSauce to do an activity that we did not know until we arrived. Yeah, that was crazy. We had no idea. We did a shade show, which is funny. You don't know because there's no live stream at OpenSauce.

You can pay to watch the panels, apparently. You can pay $20. I think it's worth it. You can watch them now. You can watch them online. You watch them already? Apparently, yes, online? You can watch them now? Oh, that's smart. You can watch them online. You watch them already? Apparently, yes. There's a pay-per-view live stream he's saying.

Oh, really? That's what he said. I don't know if it was live. I think it was recorded. Apparently, last year it took like a year for VODs to go up. It was not live. You're a fucking liar, and everyone's mad at you. It definitely wasn't live.

We did a little onstage show at Backyard Scientist, and right before we went on the stage, I tapped his shoulder, and I said, do you know our names? Dude. And he thought I was Doug Doug. Okay, pause, because when he went around, he said, just let me double check, it's Doug, Aiden, Slime, and Ludwig. No, that's all he said. No, he did.

He fucked up my name, too. No, he fucked up his name. What did he say for your name? I don't even remember. He said some other creator or something. He called you guys the wrong names and then nobody said anything. He's like, oh, fuck, Mortual's here. And then he double checked right before leaving. And he's like, all right, so we got Doug, Aiden, Sly, and Ludwig.

And then you're like, ha ha, yeah. But this is not what happened. Wait, what do you mean? It's not what happened. I shook his hand, looked him in the eye, and said, hello, my name is Aiden. He said all of our, so he asked our names. We said them. He said all of our real names back to us.

And then right before going out, I asked if he knew our names. He just didn't. He said I was Doug Doug. He said Aiden was someone else. He knew you, obviously. You give off a little Doug. On a bad day, you give off a guy named Doug. Definitely not from the tits down.

Not Doug Doug, to be clear. Just Doug. No one calls Doug Doug just Doug cause that would make him like a nerd oh Double D? Double D you got Doug funny vibes I know why I call him Double D it's not his name cause his big old titties cause his big massive breasts

and he's always wearing a hat and if you take off the hat he'll get mad and his brother made the Stanley parable anyway if you went to the live show it was fun and you probably will never see it until a Parable. Anyway, if you went to the live show, it was fun. And you probably will never see it until a year from now, apparently. Or if you spend $20, maybe you can find it somewhere. We don't know. You probably saw it

if you're 8 years old or Mark Rober. Speaking of, there was a lot of kids there. Open Sauce, we should explain, is like... It's a giant science fair. It's basically a science fair. It's William Osmond's event that is VidCon

but for maker YouTubers and it's his pet project it had thousands of people there for sure and we're all like 6,000 I don't know exactly

how many there's thousands for sure and then there's a lot of creators when you go there you have to say William I'm your little pet

and he goes bark for me pet and you have to put on a collar and the three times don't oink the three times I saw don't oink. The three times I saw... Don't oink. He does not like that.

The three times I saw Will, he was despondent. Yeah, he had the black look in his eyes. I kept trying to say hi to him all weekend. I'd go up, and then he would be furious at something, or dead in the eyes, or just elsewhere. And I was like, I'll come back later. It's like in Dark Souls when you've pissed off an NPC

and they just say dot, dot, dot. Yeah, yeah. You can't say it. You're in dialogue options. Going to the event planning ether. But I get why because it was a headache because he had to ensure

that the people who attended have a good time and then the creators who attended have a good time, which is a different thing to do. Oh, yeah. They're baby. Because every,

I was thinking about this a lot. So we were hanging around a lot of creators a different thing to do. Oh, yeah. They're baby. Because every, I was thinking about this a lot. So we were hanging around a lot of creators who are like big names. Oh, yeah. People who are on X. People who are on X do everything out.

Yeah. Most of them have X accounts. Biggest in the business. Like the people that don't even have to pay for the blue check, they just get it. They just get it. And they get to talk to Grok

all they want. Talk to little Grok. Ask Grok about frauding right now on your phones. Grok, if you're a subscriber to X Premium, I think it's called, i ask grok about frotting right now on your phones grok if you are if you're a subscriber to x premium i think it's called talk to grok about what the male act of frotting is of love grok taught me to eat pussy anyway back to it there's so many damn people like all these people are independently themselves like if everyone else disappeared they would still be

independently successful and that is a dangerous group of people to gather. It's a lot like a shit camp and shit like that. Way bigger though. Cause it's a hundred, it's literally 150. Let's go around for context. Name someone you met. Maybe that's a big ass crater that you thought was cool or some shit.

You got it. I got one. Sure. I met Toby who is a math YouTuber from Australia slash New Zealand. A woman. What? Is she beautiful? She likes me.

And she's on jet lag. I watch her on jet lag. Okay. And I met her. I got to talk to her. It was cool. Does she talk like Sky? She does.

From Valorant. She talks. Does she talk like Skye? She does, she talks Does she talk about a day away in the farm? Fuck yeah And I kept trying to like, I kept trying to like peg her down Excuse me? Hey, run it again Just say it again Just say a different thing

Don't freak out I kept trying to really get I tried to label her Dude I tried to label her. Dude. I tried to sub... Label? I basically was trying to call whether she was Australian or Kiwi. A New Zealander.

And I... Because I was... Because, you know, I was... The eastern and the eyes. It's a kind of a fun game to play when you meet one of them. I love playing What Race? Yeah. It's more than What Nationality. What Nationality? Guys. It's not What Race. It's more than What Nationality.

It's More Than What Nationality. Guys. It's not What Race, it's What Nationality. Everyone. What Race I get every time. Brother, I'm good at that one. You're either me or you're not. That's bad.

And then, but she wouldn't have it. She kept saying she's like I'm both both? I'm both I'm both why can't I be both?

that's crazy she could be both why can't I be both? where is that from? now why is she she's both she's both she's not British?

oh so you were in the conversation that's fun what else did she say? what does both mean? you just said she's barf. My favorite interaction with someone, it was someone Ludwig respects immensely.

Why are you saying it was so much disgust? No, I'm not. I'm saying like with force and power. He was a great guy. He was a great guy. Saying it was girth. And Ludwig loves this guy. And me, Nick, and Aiden are talking to him.

And Ludwig's probably pissed. Ludwig's probably mad that like- We're getting all the time with his favorite guy. We me, Nick, and Aiden are talking to him. And Ludwig's probably pissed. Ludwig's probably mad that, like... We're getting all the time with his favorite guy. We're getting a little FaceTime. And I'm explaining how we did a live show, and everyone, these two guys were scared except me. And then Ludwig starts walking in, and I say, but he was the most scared because he wore an adult diaper.

Oh, by the way. And it started crinkling. And I said, be careful. His adult diaper might start cr crinkling and I said be careful his adult diaper might start crinkling when he sits down and he'll hear it and Ludwig for the first time this whole week end which was very sweet he kind of got a little annoyed he's like why are we talking about this when we're eating why are we talking about this putting food in our mouths? And I'm like, oh, he doesn't want me to say this in front of the important man.

And I thought that was funny. And you know what, guys? Viewers at home, it did crinkle. Sometimes slime is socially inept. No, I'm not socially inept. I'll give you a great example. I'll give you a great example when slime was actually dumb and deaf.

When we were exiting, we were exiting the after party, right? And we were in the lobby and we're talking to that lady who worked there, who I won't name. And then you start running, I think the adult diaper bit again. And you just keep running it and she is not in it. No, she did not. She's like totally straight shooter Oh god, would you get just a blank face? She's straight shooter hospitality like can I get you any drinks? To be clear, he only got blank faces this bit. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

But there wasn't, nobody thought this bit was electric Yeah, nobody liked it but she especially didn't like it. You know who did? You You, you two. You two. You guys. Because you guys were giggling your fucking little tiny tits off every time. I wasn't. That was funny. I barely giggled.

Even if it was just because it was a failing idea, you still laughed. You want to know the truth? You want to know the truth? Sometimes I have to laugh at what Slime says because it communicates to the stranger that he's kidding. That is a- I have to do that all the time. Yes. Yes, that.

Yes, that. I do that all the time, too, for you guys. When you fucking throw up stinkers, I go, yup! And then it hits the rim and bounces off. I feel like you just have somebody there and you're just like fucking emoting. You're Fortnite emoting. And they're like, what do I do with this? I think especially in this crowd, I'll say I'll wipe a name off the list that I didn't meet that wasn't this person.

If you met like Veritasium and did this at the event, I would be like, this is insane. This is just not the person that I think this is going to click around. That low-key happened. That did kind of happen. Wait, really? Remember? I didn't mean Veritasium. The elevator doors are closing, and I need to get in, and I see through the crack, it's Veritasium, and I'm like,

and he puts his hand to the button. The door closes, and it reopens. Oh, hero. That's clutch. He's a hero, man. That's clutch. Really quick while he's saying this, can you pull up a picture of this guy so I know what he looks like? And then he said, this man saved 100 billion lives. And then put a phone back in the book.

So I get in the elevator. It's me, Veritasium, and a third creator who I'll leave unnamed. Sure. That's probably best. Oh, I thought this guy was bald. What? I'm thinking of Vsauce. Yeah, that's a different guy. You thought this was Vsauce? No, I just thought of Vsauce. Yeah, that's a different guy. Dude, this whole time. You thought this was Vsauce? No, I just thought

it's a V name. Oh, he's bald in that picture. People call this guy Veritasium and Vsauce's name's Michael. Dude, he's kind of ripped. Yeah, he looks great. Yeah, I think he's, look, YouTubers get ripped

when they hit that many stars. I wish Michael was there. I do too. Anyway, and this YouTuber who I named, I do recognize. Oh, yeah. I do recognize,

I do know who they are. They were all in the elevator and we do the social experiment. They're all facing this way, so I get in and I do recognize. I do know who they are. We're all in the elevator and we do the social experiment. They're all facing this way so I get in and I turn that way too. And I hear, they're talking behind me and the YouTuber says to Veritasium so where do you work?

And Veritasium who's a little caught off guard because he's probably the most famous person at the event. Arguably in the top three. He would be in most famous person at the event. Arguably. Yeah. He would be, he would be in the top cut at least. Like,

to his credit, from YouTube, he is the top three. There were probably less than 10 people in that building of Cow Palace who did not know

who he was. I think if you are a YouTuber over a million subscribers, you know who he is. But specifically that building full of makers,

it's like, you know. And then even more specifically here If you don't know him, how do you even get here? What go ahead okay? I just say go ahead y'all are fucking boo all right and Very tasking a little confused goes

He asked the question. where do you work? Which I think is a funny question. And he goes, I'm Veritasium. And the YouTuber's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know what that is. And then the elevator doors open and then I walk out. And he got a little. They make no exchange after.

He got a little mug. It was kind of cool. That is That is crazy I think Don Veritasium Is so bitch made No No

I work on YouTube I do YouTube videos Cue him saying Veritasium should die In a paramotor accident In three Two I think it's reasonable

Because I think it's reasonable To think that Someone would know What that is and not know who he is maybe because he does a lot of VO stuff and you might remember a Veritasium video but not necessarily

the face it's different than like I get to say I'm Ludwig and that's also what I am but like if it's Michael from Vsauce he would probably say I'm Vsauce not I'm Michael you know what I mean? No This is all bullshit. This is all bad because this is like Drake being asked

at the party, like, who invited you? And he says, and he does this face. He's like, don't you know who I am? This is a don't you know who I am moment. No, because Veritasium is invited to this event as a creator and Drake wasn't. That is just the key difference. Okay, but it's the same idea of

saying you should know who I am, which is cringe. Because you know who didn't know who anyone was? Was the guy that didn't let me and Aiden into the fucking back rooms where everyone is hanging out. And then you got pissy at him. He made fun of us. And you got mad at him for that. If you guys were beautiful women, I would let you in.

He said if we bring hot chicks. That's hilarious. It was, but he said it in a way that he wasn't trying to be funny. Wait, what was this? So there's a creator lounge where all the creators hung out. We didn't have badges. Because you kind of got mobbed if you were in the main floor.

And so I was trying to get these two in when we first got there. And I couldn't because I had a little staff badge that I yoinked. And they had no badges. And the guy was like, ah, first day. And I can't lose my job. I can't let them in. And, uh, and so I went to find someone on the inside and then they were just like stuck talking to him while I was on the inside. And apparently that's when you got, he told us to hustle more and like get our, get our money up and then said we could get in if we were hot girls. Before I walked in, I said,

can I get them in? And he said, maybe if you were PewDiePie. Yeah, that was crazy. And I was like, fair. So what I'm saying is, this guy,

okay, yes, he rules. And he probably drinks Mountain Dew and plays Call of Duty. Warzone, he plays Warzone. He plays Warzone. He also,

when we finally did get our badges, he's like, ah, you got it. And we're like, yeah. And he's like, you guys ever see Breaking Bad? He did say that. Yeah, and we were like, we had stopped because we were like, in motion. it and we're like yeah he's like you guys ever see breaking bad he did say that and we were like we had stopped because we were like in motion and now we're like yeah we're just breaking bad he's like you know when he's like science bitch

and we're like yeah he's like that's that's the best part of the show and we were like yeah that is the best part part of the. It was just kept going. I've seen three episodes. If fucking Veritasium says I'm Veritasium to this guy Fuck that and that's who you should be kind of like because I think what he's really saying is you might recognize me by this name Yeah, why not say that with all of your fucking words? Because you don't have to use all those words. Probably. Then just say I make YouTube videos I see this so hard-lined as a buyer. But everyone here makes YouTube videos. The bad answer.

If I was in his... It's a dumb question in the first place. If I was in his shoes, I would choose to answer differently, because I see the point you're making. Thank you. But I also think that his... I agree with Nick. His channel is so big, and it's a company, and he's not the only guy who works there.

He's just the narrator. He skipped a line. It's like... And I haven't heard about it. It's so big. Dude, that's not the only guy who works there. He's just like the narrator. He skipped a line. And I haven't heard about it. It's so big. That's crazy. No, no, no. I know who Messi is. You know who Mr. P is.

You literally didn't know who the most famous man alive is. I'm not convinced you know both candidates for Barack Obama. But Messi, I think Messi is probably the most famous. No, he doesn't beat Barack Obama. You're a dummy Messi, I think Messi is probably the most famous. No, he doesn't belong to Obama, you're a dummy shit. I think he's probably the most famous man alive. Messi? That's insane. No, a sitting US president.

Dude, he's not most famous, he's top five. He's easily top five. He's top five. He's top five. Okay, but that's not number one. We don't remember who is in top five. We remember Mango. No, we do!

Yeah, we do! You know most of the people who do. We remember Mango! Mango won. You remember the fifth best Baylor player. I don't. We remember Mango! Mango won. You don't remember the 5th best melee player? I don't know who got 5th in this tournament. You don't? Cause our Moist Mogul's ain't dead. That's awful. That's fucked.

That's fucked cause it was my boy. Anyway, so, uh, vote on your phones at home. I didn't meet Veritasium, he's probably fine. If you're basically saying it'd be better if he said, I make YouTube videos, his next question would be, what's your channel? And then he would say, I'm Veritasium. Which is fine. You're just mad that you didn't do one dialogue. I make YouTube videos his next question be what's your channel and then he would say I'm very If I was to join his side if I was to join his side for a second If I were to indulge in the intellectual exercise here Have you ever seen that clip of that of that overwatch streamer in a grandmaster lobby and he slowly

Comes to the realization that he's playing with Luka Doncic. This is Moxie. This is Moxie talking about how he's playing with Luka Doncic. Yeah, this is Moxie. This is Moxie talking about how he's playing with Luka Doncic. And he asks like, hey, do you have any hobbies? And Luka Doncic, who he doesn't know, is like, yeah, I play basketball. And he's like, oh, like for fun or like in high school? And he's like, no, I play like on a real team. He's like Dallas Mavericks.

And he's like, is that it? The reason this clip's all time is because Luka recognized Moxie before Moxie recognized Luka. Oh, that's sick. It's such a good clip. And he's like, is that it? The reason this clip's all time is because Luka recognized Moxie before Moxie recognized Luka. Oh, that's sick. Luka's like, you're Moxie, right? And he's like, yeah, who are you? His chat has to tell him who Luka Doncic is. It's like, literally one of the

best basketball players in the world. I would love if this happened and I was playing Luka Doncic on Tekken. So, in this case, right, Luka doesn't go like, I'm Luka Doncic. He literally says in that clip, I'm him. Huh? He- cause like- cause Moxie- That's not what he says initially, the first two times he gets asked.

Moxie looks him up and then- and then Luka goes that's me, I'm him. And I think that equi- I'm saying what the equivalent of the- in this situation instead of saying like I'm very Tassie you just say- you say I'm a YouTuber. I- let's- we can say those easily. You are mad about this social interaction. You've gone up to more than five people and said, this guy's wearing adult diapers that crinkles. Veritasium is beating you in social

situations. It's true. Here, let me, allow me to clarify. I'm not on his team. Maybe after I just explain the cornerstone of my ideology is that I think celebrity as a concept is profane and disgusting. And when we lean on it to identify who we are to potential strangers with just celebrity alone, that to me is a fake thing to do. Let me give you an exaggerated example from the other end.

What if, say this whole interaction, but instead of Veritasium, it's the Pope. And the Pope is just, the Pope's at open time. He's wearing his fucking scepter. He's got Jesus on him. It's the Pope standing next to some guy with Nick in front of him. It's me. It's me behind Nick.

And the guy asks the Pope, so where do you work? Are you doing a Halloween thing? What are you doing? And he says, I'm the Pope. And the Pope says, would you rather the Pope say the Catholic Church? Isn't it totally appropriate for him to say, I'm the Pope? No, it's not.

It's not. I want to preach. Because the Pope would be, not this Pope, because he keeps saying the F slur, but the Pope in general would be someone who understands the plight of the common human being like Christ did and he would say I work in the Vatican City

I work for the church and he would say that shit he might because just like public office it's implied that you're a servant no he would whip out his Italian and he'd say Arrivederci I'm the pope

Arrivederci I'm the pope I'm the pope I'm the pope I let the people cross the river doesn't this pope speak Spanish I let the pope no he's Italian he's like I had a bar popey. I'm a the popey? I let the people cross the river. Doesn't this pope speak Spanish? No, he's Italian.

He's a Argentinian. The current pope? But he worked in Italy. The guy, the plumber who gets stars and is invincible. Ain't he Italian? And he steps on them damn penis heads. He's allowed to be Argentinian? That's actually kind of sus the pope is messy

I don't think I think I oh you know what I've looked this up this is a CGP great video I'm sorry for mentioning it

don't fucking take me down great CGP anyone can be the pope I can be the pope I remember wanting to be the pope

when I was young it's hard it's hard to be yeah I looked into the work and I was like that reminds me of our new goal

become the pope get Ludwig an airport yeah that's our new that's our new thing I'd the Pope? Get Ludwig an airport. Oh yeah. That's our new thing. I'd love to. If you work at a small, small airport that needs maybe 5 to

10k in funding and you would let that funding go to me naming it like the top. It could even be a 5 to 10k? This exists in my hometown. That's your starting bid? What do you want to go higher? I started because like a year ago i i flew out of john wayne international airport it's actually

i don't think it's international it's called john wayne airport in santa ana and i was like that's crazy it's named after a dude who is in a cowboy in movies and i texted ludwig i was like how far off are you do you think you are from getting an airport named after you and he's like so far like he said because i was thinking about international airports but like like who the fuck's logan you know dude right hollis who's sky harbor hollis new hampshire single terminal airport just a random little guy they don't have zipper i'm telling you you can get the linden washington airstrip named after you a hundred percent dude we open

an airport in hollis if josh ever fucking drops out of top 32 he has to go work yeah he's got a tsa he has to run the single person airport we can keep the visa of our friend we can find a way to maintain his visa but he'll be punished for not being a good enough player anymore. Yeah, for losing to John Dorskis. By the way, you were a huge, and I'm going to say it, at the airport. What the fuck did I do? You dropped... We were talking about Kevin Hart having going M4M.

I'm not talking about that. In the bathroom. I am not talking about that. What did you do at the airport? Okay, first off, we have to make a change, you and I. What the fuck? This is separate. Stop calling each other blood, especially in public. What?

Why? This is... Dude. I'm sitting in the stall. I'm in the bathroom. I went in the bathroom by myself. I'm sitting in the stall. I'm shitting.

It's a packed bathroom. It's a packed bathroom. Full house. It's through the crack on the other side in the stall. I'm shitting. It's a packed bathroom. It's a packed bathroom. Full house. And through the crack on the other side of the door, I hear Slime and Ludwig walk in. And Slime yells, dude, there's so many people in this bathroom. Slime yells, blood

owns a vegetarian restaurant. Blood owns a vegetarian restaurant. This is me and Slime arguing about how rich Kevin Hart is. Yeah, like how he got so rich just by being like a comedy guy. And I was saying it's not from his comedy, it's from his businesses. And then you go, Blood owns a vegetarian restaurant. Blood owns a vegetarian restaurant.

I was like, say it again. You said it twice. You said it like, you went, you went, you went, Blood owns a vegetarian, Blood owns a vegetarian, like you're drinking Josh. You went, you went, you went, you went, blood, it was a virgin, blood, it was a virgin date, like you're drinking Josh. So that's, that's just starting. That's just, that's not, that's just an advertiser. That's just a little bathroom talk for the bathroom boys. Don't say blood, that's an aperitif for you.

Second thing. Okay. I was walking into the line to go through airport security as you do. Dude, I don't remember this at all. You don't remember? Oh, of course you don't. Of course you don't. Because you don't remember you're an asshole.

I'm like, what the fuck could have happened? You don't remember you're an asshole. And then I'm walking through to go through security and then you go through the TSA pre-check line and you go, wrong way, asshole.

To me. Oh, yeah. Oh, you did say that did say that I don't have Fucking TSA preachers crazy. It's not fun. You're just you're just mugging me for no All the time and by the most expensive tickets and you don't have pre check I don't appreciate it. He has to go and do a little he I guess it goes No, I need to do it how to get pre check. I don't know how to do it I haven't looked it up once.

Oh, wow. If only you had a full-time employee who could do it for you. I honestly also didn't think it was that big of a deal. I don't mind standing in the line. I've never thought like- You saw me and Nadin. Naruto, arms back, flew through that shit. I was going to say, this is the one time in my life where I was like, man, pre-check

might be worth it because you guys went through that shit lickety-split. Lickety split. Okay? But now I kind of don't want to get it because... Standing in the regular ass line. How much it cost? You know I have to tell Archie to edit that out. So you can continue flying safely.

What did he say? I have to be the one that does that. I'm not going to do it this time. I'm sorry. That's a lot for you. I'm not going to do it this time. Okay. So either you tell Archie to edit out that. Or risk the TSA going, this guy's on our list.

No, because Archie will put a disclaimer that that was a joke for community impact. How much it costs? It's like $80. I think it's like $100 for like five years or something. Yeah, it's like... And what do you... Do you go to Staples? What you should actually do is you should get global entry and then then it gives you pre-check, and that's five years.

You have to interview someone, right? You can do the interview online. Well, I did global entry. That's what I'm asking you. Yeah, you do an interview. But it's harder now than it was when I did it. You can do a little webcam interview. Why did it get harder?

The wait list is longer. Do they have a second 9-11? What's going on? Oh, you have to wait? Yeah, there's a way. You can't do it in a meeting. You can swag out. You get an appointment.

Then you have to go to a specific branch. You have to go to a different state, right? I got Nexus Yeah, there's a way. You can't do it to me. You get an appointment, then you have to like go to a specific branch. You had to like go to a different state, right? I got Nexus. This is like a different thing. DSA, you don't have to do this shit. You just sign up. You do have to go in, they verify who you are. I think- I don't think Yingling can do that. You get Nexus- But you should just fucking do it. Quit being lazy. I'm just asking questions. I didn't know about this.

You didn't know about pre-check. I didn't know how to get it! It's easy, man. I'm asking a question! You don't even have to think about it. You just get to tell Nicholas Yingling, Yingling, get me a pre-check, and then he handles it. I've been given a lot of shit.

I will say, from fucking sunup to sundown, the moment we saw him in the airport, the moment we left, all that Sunday, he was electricity, and he was extremely funny. He was a factory that produces it. Dude, to hang out with. When you walked when we were leaving Dude our flight was delayed by five hours, and we were finally leaving we're finally getting on the plane Ludwig is walking away across the airport away from us to the gate and

He's your ass is facing us and son looks around and's like, there goes the fattest ass in the airport. I missed that. How did he get those things in there? And then Nick jumped on. Yep, I did, quickly. And he starts barking at this fucking luscious pair of hands. Yeah, I said, how do you fit both of them in there? And Aiden didn't do shit.

Why are you talking about my ass? I don't want to yell about your ass In front of people Why not? It's the airport Everyone there is pissed Okay so after open sauce There's an after party We're on a 40 minute bus ride

Yeah And then you thought That would be an opportune time To call your dad for Father's Day Yes Next to me Yeah And me

Damn I had to I called him that morning He didn't pick up Just been 16 years Since I got to celebrate Little Aiden wants to jump in For me Hop in I didn't do it for me Hop in years since I got to celebrate. Little old Aiden wants to jump in. Do it for me.

Hop in. I didn't do it for me. Hop in, be like, Pops! He's like, hey, Pops. Great to hear your voice. Is that why you wanted to talk to my dad so bad? Yeah, I wanted to talk to your dad, and you wouldn't let me. I wouldn't let him.

You wouldn't let me. Dude, that's gross. I refuse. I want my time. I know. I want my time. That's what he kept saying. I want my time.

He wants any time. What are you doing? Amen. Amen. Amen. And you're looking at King K. Rool pornography. So I got upset because Aiden would let me

talk to his father and he had to spend our whole 40 minute bus ride talking to his father. So what do you do? You rebel. And so I rebelled. I lashed out

because I can't talk to him. I have no one to talk to because we're way back. There's nobody next to me. Why is the solution to me talking like that did you want that i'm sure you're the bus head first it's look at the alligator from donkey cock with a cock ring on i looked that's you that's you and i'm having a normal conversation with my father am i the asshole i was on the bus ride and the guy next to me called his father for

father's day wouldn't let me talk to his father even though i don't have one anymore yeah and so that's a big part of it so can we go back and repeat it just to clarify my father don't have one anymore yeah had one at one point one point i had one and then i looked up donkey kong cock and i scrolled through for five minutes he was doing as an American with a phone. And I want to clarify just for the people who are playing Am I the asshole at home I didn't like I wasn't like oh Aiden look I scrolled through as if I was reading reddit That's what made it funny. So he basically like kind of got like you know he spotted you It made it way harder to not laugh because he wasn't seeking my attention at all. I'm just literal peripheral vision

Seeing him scroll through tens of photos I was like Donkey Kong with an 8 pack and his cock out And HG's like he just keeps going HG's like Bookmark But zero effort to like draw me into what he's doing which just made it harder to not laugh Am I the asshole? And I didn't even know he saw it cuz I he was like keeping it like a hundred with his father

If he wasn't like father, I'm sorry. I'm getting perturbed because I saw a Donkey Kong cock Yeah, my friend my friend who doesn't have a dad is doing something independently by himself alone And it's bothering me right so. So, sorry, Dad. Unless the woke's taking that away from me. Is that what you want, woke? YTA or NTA in chat? Take away rights? Is that what you mean?

Is it our rights? I did do you dirty one time. When? When did you do me wrong? You would tell him what you saw on my phone on the plane. Show you a little message. He doesn't even remember remember that's how scarred he is what happened he's so used to me when i show because sometimes i do this where i pass my phone to him and it's upside down and he expects to flip it up was across the aisle and we're on the same aisle on the plane and he hands me he's like show this to aiden and he handed me his phone

phoned it face down. So I didn't look. I like, I like kept the integrity of what was trying to be communicated. And I know Aiden's going to think like, oh, that's some cartoon character with a giant penis. Like it always is. But he subverted. Yeah. And I asked you, cause you, you see, you instantly like crumple, like, like, like all the air got sucked out of a water bottle.

And then I handed back a little bit without looking and i'm like what was it and you you said i cannot describe it out loud in this place i couldn't say it out loud on the plane it said not doing it not doing it That's really funny though. He had it typed out on iMessage, but he didn't send the message. I know, as a fact if I sent it the FBI would fucking fire me. There's no record, he just deleted the text. I know as a fact. And I read this, instead of seeing Donkey Kong's penis like I expect, and then you asked what it was was. I was like, I can't tell you what it was.

Like, I can't say it right now. Look at you going crazy on the beat. Dab, dab. Dab, dab. Dab, dab. Me and Dubbin used to do this thing on flights where we'd start the same movie at the same time. And we're on the plane. We're on the plane and I'm like, I'm watching a movie.

He goes, you want to start one at the same time? And I'm like, oh, we're back? And he's like, what movie are you watching? And I'm like, you're not going to like this. And he's like, what? And I'm like, so I bought a movie on Vimeo On Demand. So cringe. I love film, and I almost threw up.

He refused to go to a different platform to watch a movie with me. Sorry, I want to watch the Dutch localization of Salo in black and white only. Can we do that? It's just the color red. He was like, it's a really popular indie film called Yellow Jack Hornet.

And it won several awards. You should have told him it was Japanese. I should have. You should have told him it was Japanese Feeding the dub yeah He just is already involved and he can't pause cuz it's a pain in the ass to pause No, it's a movie that halfway through turns to Japanese. Oh Final ten minutes. They all are Japanese Okay, we should explain fucking that was kind of funny. Yeah, well, okay.

We should explain fucking... I was kind of mad about this. Explain what? Well, so after Open Sauce... Could you possibly be mad about that? Explain this. After Open Sauce, we all flew back together. Because I flew to Open Sauce Friday, flew back Friday.

Because I needed to do Unpaid Intern on Saturday. Electric. Which these two clowns were on. Then went back to Open Sauce. And then went back to Open Sauce Sunday. And so we all flew together On Sunday to open sauce And then flew back

We all four flew back together We also all blew together Ooh We all chewed together Cause that guy Was there Little Little tabby

You're too teethy Wacky tabby You're too teethy With it Too teethy And then I'm not chewing on my shit And then

On the flight I You know what I booked first class Sorry It's just I mean go on It's It's not Look Cause papa has a seat On the plane You know what? I booked first class. Sorry. It's not... Look, because Papa has a seat on the plane.

And it is in the front. If I'm not 1A, I am... You're 2A. I am 1A going to hang myself. I will hang myself. You weren't even 1A. I can't wait to eat. You added so much.

Eat Minecraft. You know what this is? So much. No longer It'll ruin your life, man. We went on a We went on a We went on a party we went on a P****** real first Okay. We really- really quick we went on a

party bus to the after party, they took everyone- all the creators on a bus we got off, we were saying thank you and I- I dropped a stinker It wasn't a stinker! Oh you liked that? I liked it so much! What'd you say? What'd you say? What'd you say? I said my- my Fortnite in-game name, I said Bahama Papa has thanked the bus driver To the bus driver? No No I said thank you to the bus driver.

Oh, that's fine. And then steps away from him to slime. This is fine. If you had said the Bahama Papa thanked the bus driver to the bus driver, I would probably not talk to that one. The timing on it was so good, I thought about it later. It was really funny. So anyway, I got first class, and I was feeling good,

because when they call the know the boarding they're like you know babies people who have hard times getting planes keep in mind this is one of the military this is first class

on Sky West so he's a seat that's like six inches Alaska operated by Sky West it's Sky West it's classier

it's Sky West it's still Alaska's I didn't know it was the lightest media group anyway they call it first so I get up and I leave these three in the airport lobby.

And I feel like fucking Julia Roberts. We're talking about your juicy dumper. The thing is, I didn't know that happened because I literally said I was walking. I was like, I'm not going to look back. Even though you heard us going. I heard you chirping and I was like, it's time for me to go my own way. And then I'm on the plane and I'm thinking like, oh, what am am i gonna do when they have to walk by me all the way to economy and i'm sitting there like and i'm talking to the flight attendant i was like maybe give me like a diet like two diet

cokes i just want to look like i got it and then and then fucking i'm two i'm the second row and then like aiden and slime pop in i'm like like, Oh, I'm going to pretend I don't see him. And they don't pass me. They sit down in row one. And I'm like, I'm like, Ooh, they're not going to be able to get away with this for long. Uh,

sorry, uh, teacher. I'm like, I'm like, I'll let it, I'll let it play out. But then they start fucking chuckling.

Like it's an SNL. You're like trying to get the mask out of the top to like get the attention. We could, we walked in and we were like, bro, they put you in row two? Yeah. Oh, that's tough. We were literally a row above you. Row two. So funny.

And it turns out that because this plane was delayed five hours, I think a lot of people took different flights. So it was very empty. And there was only like one person in who bought a first-class flight Which was me like I was the only fucking guy who spent that money, and then they got free upgrades to first a row In front of me. Yeah, that's a pilot Alaska MVP you're a bend Alaska nope When I when I land there, I know I'll be received like an MVP. When I walk out of Anchorage Airport, it'll fucking collapse.

What leverage does Alaska have against a big plane that they have such a big airline? What do they know? Okay. They shouldn't have such a big airline. You know what? It's close to Russia, and we are this close to attacking. It's located in Seattle. We're sitting on Alaska Plains, operated by SkyWest.

Yeah. Yes, sir. Full of dudes. Also, dude, the flight attendant, she was so funny. So when you, oh, another thing. So the flight attendant comes up, and she's like. Well, pause, pause. I'm sorry.

So it's us three up there, all right? And then she's like, hey. We're missing a member of the yard. She's like, hey, there's no one else yard. She's like, she's like, Hey, uh, there's no one else. It's just you guys. And I'm like,

can I go to row one? And she's like, yeah, it's all right. You guys get mad. Yeah. We started hemming and hawing. We're all row one together. It's fun.

We're having a little fun. And then before they take off, she's talking to the pilots and the pilots are like, yeah, so it's a little bit like miss weighted. So we've got to move some people. And so they need to move somebody to first class from economy to balance the plane weight and and so she comes to us and we

you had walked by us I think I've miss waited to the front because you were sitting in the front and we all yeah feel big right now? it's all your hands Nick's talking big now but when he walked by us and we were all three there He looked like the saddest little pup because he didn't know they got upgraded So he's like what? I'm like you guys all my friends in first

And we're slapping five And then he starts blowing up the group chat It's also funny And he's like guy next to me said that I'm the mayor of Broketown and they made a statue of me from shit. And then I said it fell over and melted. The guy next to me is wearing a Mogul Moves hoodie. And then I continued to say, he says he's from Poor Island. And in the middle of Town Square, there's a statue of me made of shit.

They started making announcements on the PA, and Nick said, Cabin doors are closed, by the way, guys. Not sure if the front gets announcements. And then... And we're not answering. I'm not answering. No one's answering. No one's answering.

We're talking at the greatest time. Just delirious. You posted the seat number number 2B you say And an image of Snowpiercer Yeah well it's cause Cause then She comes up

And she's like It's miss weighted We need to pull one person up And she saw us like Chirp at him As he walked by And she was like You guys have a friend

That's back there right And Dude We all looked at each other We made one of the Greatest mistakes I think of our lives cause we said

yeah he's in 13D and what we should've done is let you squirm back we should've said find a fucking four foot

there was a there was a Ludwig fan in the back with a scam sweater on he was sitting next to me well yeah this is the weird thing he was literally

the seat next to me we said yeah bring up Nick and then she comes over to you she comes over to me and she leans over the weird thing. He was literally the seat next to me. We said, yeah, bring up Nick. And then she comes over to you. She comes over to me. And she leans over. She's like, your friends are all in the front, right? And I look up like, bink, bink, bink.

Yeah. And she's like, why don't you get on up there? And I'm like, oh. And then she's like, we also need another person. And she looks at the guy with the Mogul Move sweatshirt on. And she goes, would you like to be first class? He just hits a raw no. Yeah is crazy as I know yeah he might you know cuz on the way there I raw dog the flight no headphones no water no pissin

it's an hour float act like you're a hero bro packed a fucking switch for danger you packed a fucking I didn't travel back a laptop you dumb bastard in my switch... I didn't try to pack a laptop, you dumb bastard. I had a book and my Switch. And I didn't want to carry them in my hands. You could have raw dogged an hour. And you're being cruel right now. Guess what happened?

I left my Switch on the plane. Oh, on the business class plane? Yeah. No. You didn't go get it back? I had to fill a fucking form lost and found. They said in 30 days we'll get back to you. Damn.

My Isaac file's on there. Deserved for not raw dogging. No, it's not deserved. It's a bit of a lesson. I miss it. It'll get back to you. Damn. My Isaac files on there. Deserved for not raw dogging. No, it's not deserved. It's a bit of a lesson. I miss it. It'll come back. But you know what's funny about that flight attendant? She was really cool.

She was really funny. But she was, so we're up front. And when you're up front, Nick, you can hear a lot. I was there too. I got upgraded. The pilots and the staff are talking about it. Right, we know the spoofos. And the pilots said, hey, can, like, the weight distribution's bad.

Can you grab some people? And she's like, yeah, sure, like, the weight distribution's bad, can you grab some people? And she's like, yeah, sure. And she did. She grabbed you and she got some other people. She's like, I'll grab the fucking biggest guy back there, just the fattest,

most lard-filled man. And then it turned out to be Nick. I was going, the most densest man in the back. I don't think you guys heard this, but she went up to the pilot

and she's like, yeah, I just, like, grabbed whoever was looking at my ass. She says that? Yeah. That's funny. I'm like grabbed whoever was looking at my ass She only said to the pilots, but I'm right there, so I heard that and I say things you hear I'm so full. Are you full? I'm folks. I've been eating so What do you what do I get to eat now? I don't know you got to eat whatever you know I can make for you. I want some high protein

So give me it. You want some high protein? What else you want in there? Maybe cocks? Wait it can't take a lot of time. Maybe you? Maybe just chicken? Chicken? Do you want to make money off of our ad reads? Is that what you- Do you want that? No, I can't ask questions. Because it sounds like you don't.

No, I can't ask questions. Don't cancel me for asking questions. Oh, this is an ad read. You're doing a delicious Fat Factor segue into giving answers. Don't cancel me for asking questions. And you instantly say cocks and penis. I can't cancel you. And I'm a culprit here, too.

But at the end of the day, if I'm past a layup like that, I'm not saying cocks and penis inside of a little plastic wrapper what is that's why and it's not what they do to be clear they don't have it they have they have calorie smart keto friendly meals they have fresh never frozen chef prepared meals already in two minutes zero dick meat zero as far as i know well i guess i don't know what part of the animal that they're using if they're let me put it this way if factor does put dick meat in their meals you can be sure that is one fresh two two part of pride month three three cases free premium ingredients good for you hygienic dick dude don't make it about hygiene only the cleanest penises you can like they got filet mignon shrimp

truffle butter broccolini asparagus probably not penises tier list filet mignon, shrimp, truffle butter, broccolini, asparagus. Probably not penises. On your list, filet mignon is best meat. Second best meat, chicken. Chicken's very good. Third, shrimp. They got taint. Wait, for what? Best in what?

Like meat. In a factor meal, like when you order it. Oh, like tasting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Yeah, the filet mignon's very yummy. If you want to try what Ludwig's trying and what Nick's trying, you can go to factormeals.com slash theyard50

and use the code YARD50 to get 50% off plus 20% off the next box in your subscription. But how does that make sense? You get 50% off and then 20% off. Is it 70%? You get 50% off the first box and then 20% off the next. You need to keep eating food to survive in the world. The first box half off, the second box is...

Because you can't buy one box and be set. Right, right. In that case... A box comes with quite a few meals, too. Yeah, it comes with a lot of meals, a lot of variety. A box can be a meal. Amen. Don't dab me up.

Don't touch me. And while we deal with this social nightmare of an interaction, let's get back to the episode. Hi. Okay, the grippers are out. Show them your bad toe. Don't show them. Your toe is so weird. We're talking about food. Don't show them. Blur that out. Go back to the episode.

Put that in a plastic wrap. So I really didn't want to go to Open Sauce just because I haven't been doing a lot of stuff. Everyone understands why. You didn't want to go? No. What did you want to do? No, I was just like

What did you want to do? Lie down? Dude What did you like wish you were doing instead? You probably didn't want to lay on the floor at all I was exhausted Watch Tekken videos? Watch Liam watch Tekken videos? Liam would never watch Tekken videos, you fucking idiot

He would never watch Jod mix it up with Eno Williams. So you didn't want to go. That's crazy. And then I was like, no. Did you look at a single booth? Yeah, I took a lap. There was a giant Macintosh computer. But when I went, I was like, you know, there were two things I really enjoyed.

One was going to it because it was really fun. I'm not kidding. And just because we were friends with William Osmond I probably just wouldn't say anything if we went and it's bad, but it was really fun. It was good It was like it was very like scuffed But in like a fun way in a fun way that made it feel zero corporate because almost every con nowadays feels incredibly corporate Like I think all these boosts which gives you the corporate. I think also there's all these booths,

which gives you the illusion of like, oh, there's so much stuff to do. Yeah. But then when you actually look at the booths, it's like, oh, you draw anime girls, you draw anime girls, you draw anime girls. I hate TwitchCon. I'm a huge convention hater.

Every convention I've ever been to has been extremely boring, because at the end of the day, there's no substance to it. And this is the first one I've ever been to where going around the convention floor was genuinely fun because every little booth was like a discovery to be made. I think the term's kind of cringe,

but like everyone there was makers, which ultimately is just someone who makes shit. It's everyone who had a booth. And the booth was just like, like William said, it's like a science fair for adults. And it was funny because if you have a booth there and you're doing something like building it, like having 64 Nintendo DSs all linked up to each other or whatever,

you're doing this because you yourself think it's cool. For zero profit. I don't even think that part is true. I think a lot of people, a lot of the booths were people showing off a product that they did want to sell at the end of the day. Like it was going to come out and a lot of the booths were people showing off a product that they did want to sell at the end of the day like it was gonna come out and a lot weren't but i don't mind that those people were trying to sell the things because they're often really interesting unique things that i was like oh that's a cool product that's like so creative that you came up but i think what's special is

the ones that aren't because that you never ever ever find a booth at a traditional convention that isn't for profit they're all for for profit. It's either advertising or selling. And there's a guy... Profit or not, it's people who see something missing in the world from their opinion and they fill that gap with that thing. One guy made a toilet that shoots the shit back out at you. Dude.

That wasn't in the world before. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. There was two... Emily, I think, or Emma. Emily the Engineer. They both have the same name, but they engineered a piano that sprays water at your face

if you get the notes wrong. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. And they were listeners of the show. Me and Aiden both did their little thing. And I gave them an idea for a swipe bidet collab. Oh.

The bidet is wired to it. Yep. Powerful stream. It's on the most powerful setting, and when you play the piano wrong. And because the swipe bidet is wired to it powerful stream it's on the most powerful setting and when you play the piano wrong and because the swipe bidet the swipe plus is such a powerful stream it's like those jets that cut diamonds and it will bore a hole

straight through your skull sorry Ludwig the bidet will bore a hole straight through your head through your third eye you have the swipe bidet. Two nozzles. First nozzle is water. Very delicate, lovely. If you're playing the notes right.

You get a note wrong, you start boofing like beer. Oh, it's like sriracha. It's a yeah. Start boofing sriracha going straight up the ass. It's boiling hot chocolate. And then you're like,

oh, I gotta get the notes right. It's boiling hot sriracha chocolate. Mmm. That's good. I played one of the booths. It was a mashing game. And I got there Friday, which is when everyone was was setting up so I was the first one to play it he's like come play the game

but it's like a big red button attached to a huge metal plate so I picked up the whole metal plate and tried to double thumb not really possible so I got like a score of 57 the guy goes not great didn't realize how much of a mistake that was because like 50 people came up to me like I beat your score

I wasn't very good I beat your score. I wasn't very good. I beat your score. That's your masher. It's like, fuck it. I actually thought, I thought this was really funny when I heard about it. And now that you've given me the details, I feel bad for you.

Because this is like when you're a Melee player who loses at Ultimate and you're just like, I thought you were going to smash. Or a Melee player who loses at Melee. I took a video of that so we can see that later. Because I think- I will put it in,

I will give it to Archie and everyone can see it. It didn't work. It's similar. It didn't work! It's a similar experience where you had a weird controller but you lost and people would think you would win. You played Puff! I lost to him with Fox on a third party controller. His words, not mine. Just to be clear, I was at third party.

On a third party controller? I also had third party. The sticks didn't work! Bro, you don't have to hit angles on Puff! I had a higher APM Not the way he plays, he's hitting angles Thank you Rollout is an angle

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Being right, just being truthful Is it truth? Because I've been on X, the EverythingApp a lot, truth matters And I don't want you to fucking obfuscate it Don't obfuscate I want to obfuscate You know what doesn't care about your feelings aiden while you finish the rest think about it is it x x does not well grock does but will did a great job

is what we were trying to say oh the other thing was that i said there were two things about why i liked it so the the thing so much is because also i was with you guys and we haven't hung out in a long time together and i realized when all four of us are together if someone came up to it we were in the airport on the way home right before we talked about ludwig's juicy dumper and a fan came up and he's like oh my god you guys and uh which was happening all weekend which is really nice and he was like we were having a debate about the the ideas of what cheating is and doesn't constitute in computer games yeah it was like we were just like having extremely nerdy debate that no one in the airport would appreciate listening to

not the volume we were having yeah and then a guy just comes he's like yo can i get a picture and all that shit like yeah he's like it's weird that you guys were just talking to each like having a conversation like you would otherwise and i'm like yeah dude that, dude. That's what I'm talking about. That's how it go. That's how it go. But I like that idea that cameras on or off, it's the same shit. And I like that. And it makes me feel comfy.

Cameras off. And made me appreciate you guys. We still run $1,000 on Corner Hall. Oh. Yeah, I got to pay that out. Hey. How about you pay it out? How about you quit dodging me? You got to pay it out.

I'll run up and dab. We're at the after party. After party's fucking excellent. I don't know how much I can leak because there's an NDA. I don't know what the hell is. I signed it. Don't know what's on it. I don't know what's on it.

So I'm just going to say some shit if I get sued. I'm sorry. But anyway, we're at the after party. They have cornhole. Who do I pay? Pay me up, baby. You're paying slime. Pay him.

So I think you said you want to play him in Cornhole for a rack? For a rack. One rack. I was down. And I would have crushed that. And Cornhole's a 2v2 game? I would have crushed that. Really quickly, I was trying to find you on Venmo.

Pussy Slayers. No, I know it. I know it. And I just typed pussy, and there's so many horrible names on Venmo. What? What? Yeah, so- People with misappropriate usernames on that?

Pussy Pounder 69, Pussy Fuck, P fuck pussy banger your girlfriend sent me money on Venmo pussy maggot And I told her to change it Your girlfriend we went to we went to this is a separate thing but we went to dinner and i paid for dinner because i i like i don't mind doing that me neither and then after people like kind of emily is like no don't worry about it you can get me get me a drink at the next location or whatever and then zipper two without saying anything after hearing this sends me money can't do that. Just sends me money.

I know. You gotta send it back. She has done this before. Every time I do it, I send her back the same amount she sent me plus a dollar. Yup. And she won't win the war. You won't win the war ever. You won't win the war.

I know you're fucking listening too. Ever. Let's go giving band for giving band. Vemo won't let me say eat shit in the notes. So it's gonna take me a little second. That's unfortunate. I definitely want to be mean to you. So Slom drafted me on his team.

Aiden drafted Nick. And what can I say? We made it happen. All-star fucking performance. We sent some air mails. I will say the LVP. Ew. Blood.

On the left of me No, dude. Damn. What? Who was it? We played like the same. I was just sinking I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? I'm asking a question, who's the LVP? You're saying I was the least valuable player. I don't want to say it, but he's bringing it out of me I don't want to say it. Uh-huh. This is how blood throws. Uh-huh. This is the line. Again, we have to stop saying blood

That's how Ludwig does it. I learned from you, Dad. He's way past the line. Oh, slime? Way over the line. The coach didn't call it. We had someone coaching or refs. I didn't call it because I'm trying to have fun. We had a ref. Slime throws horribly. What? It's just true. You just throw it really fast.

What about my air mails? Those are better. It's because I was trying to like slide it and hit Nick's bags and make them break. You can put your eyes on your own bags. And his ankles. You know what I love about Aiden? What? He reacts the same to every competitive game. Whether it's melee, basketball, or cornhole, he has the same stakes in it personally,

regardless of how good he is. Because he's all right at cornhole. But I would sink a triple. You're acting like you're the pro of cornhole. This is so funny. He's all right at cornhole. He's all right at cornhole. It's like you got a Bush Bean sponsorship, dude. He'd be like, this guy would be up like...

Get Gavin on the beat. He'd have one extra on the board. I'd be last to throw I would sink a triple and he'd be like dude dude one you're so mad

I'm invested beat yourself up mentally I'm invested and I want myself to do better I was listening to the most mid DJ of all time just hitting my little moves

I loved that DJ I think I think that might be my game Cornhole Cornhole I was crazy. You're not that good. Bro, you want to put the 500 you won?

One on one? I actually would. I am down. Let's do it. Really? Yeah, 100%. I'm down. That's insane.

I'm down. Winner take all. It's a bracket. You know I go hole for hole. Dude, when you... We go hole for hole. Dude, would you? We can go hole for hole. Fuck that. Fuck that.

We'll go hole for hole, but the other kind in parentheses. Send each other butthole pictures. Hole for hole, fuck that. We can go pussy hole. We can go pussy for pussy. We'll work on that. We can go maggot foot. No.

I don't want to think about that phrase again. What else happened at Open Sauce? We did the fucking panel. It's funny because it was in a slaughterhouse. Shot a candidate at Open Sauce? We did the fucking panel. It's funny because it was in a slaughterhouse. Shot a can at a child. I don't know why William Osmond

chose that venue. It's called Cowliss. There were literally drains on the ground for blood. San Francisco. So much human shit. In the city?

On the ground. I didn't go to the actual city. I took two of our yard employees to a Japanese steakhouse on the night that you guys were not there yet because they were working so hard.

And it was like playing Frogger. Of poop? But the cars are human shit. I didn't know it was crazy like that. Yeah, they got a lot of shit out there. Yeah. The Tenderloin? You ever been in the Tenderloin?

No. Everyone calls it the Tenderloin. I don't like a place named after meat. It's called Tenderloin on the map. Yeah. It's the Tenderloin? You ever been in the tenderloin? No. Everyone calls it the tenderloin. I don't like a place named after meat. It's called tenderloin on the map. Yeah. It's a tenderloin district. It's not. Because that's what they used to fleece the cops with.

It's not super nice. Oh, okay. Cut some meat. That's what our Uber driver said. But tenderloins are delicious and juicy. That's why you would fleece cops with them. You'd promise them some tenderloins. Yeah.

Because cops all like meat. They love big meat. They all like pig meat. You say it. It's like that pig on the man show that used to feed bacon. That was crazy. I know I'm 34, but you guys should look that up. It was a pig named Bacon that Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla would feed bacon.

Like the car? What? Who's Adam Carolla? I'm just happy you asked that question by not knowing is he the guy in stepbrothers nope don't worry about it i was happy i got to dump liquid nitrogen on slime's head yeah i thought it kills you so we did that live show i didn't know that in uh that guy uh backyard scientist which actually is his real christian name yep mr scientist was his father and he had liquid nitrogen in a big tank and he's like wearing gloves and shit and then

all of a sudden he's like let me pour on your hand which i'll say changed i did quite a few things with liquid nitrogen that day that i didn't know you you could do like i dunked my hand into the tank the only thing that really hurt was when i cupped my hand and held it for a while. That really did. Because it boiled a bit. It was like burning. Dude, it's scary. I thought it kills you. I ate a McDonald's hamburger frozen. Yeah, I think the

two highlights for me, because this was an audience filled again with children who yearn to learn. Yearn to learn. They yearn for my knowledge. Sl to learn, uh, is when, they yearn for my knowledge, Slime, said, we all on this stage,

renounced Christ, because he saw the magic of science, yeah, and I, relationship ended with Christ, science is my new best friend, it was so, when Aiden, looked at the big gun, that we used to shoot air,

it was an air gun, and he said, that's the gun that kills Shinzo Abe. That was really funny. Aiden brought the house down with that. To the poor kids out there. It looked like that. You're acting like it was an audience full of children from elementary school. There were a lot of kids.

And they should know how Shinzo Abe died. They should know how he died. They shouldn't even know about Shinzo Abe. Why? Why not? What do you mean racist? I'm confused who sat him on. Can we all synthesize? Can we just pick clear arguments? Ludwig wants to hide the truths of the world from children. I think it is unnecessary for a child to know about Shinzo Abe.

Why? Because I think it is better to put information in their head that's more valuable at that age. At what age do you think it's appropriate to learn about Shinzo Abe if you're an American child, bitch? I would say I would say 14. Talking about... So 13, no. Yeah. We hold off on that.

I think Mark... Well, it depends. If you're 13 in 9th grade, then yeah. I think Mark Wobba made the Guido bomb. I remember... Do you remember back in ninth grade, then yeah. I think Mark Wobble made the Guido bomb. I remember. Do you remember back in fifth grade where they would separate the boys and the girls and then you'd watch your little documentary about Shinzo Abe? You'd watch a little Shinzo Abe. After that, Shinzo Abe ended and made a new documentary.

I remember when they split the class, like, who believes in God? And then it's like, okay, you're doing Christian theory, and then the other ones are doing science. And they split them up because you can't do both you can't do Wait were you saying I was saying the meet-and-greet you're also a little menace because at the meet-and-greet everyone come up And then you guys be like what's your favorite Mark Rober video? For one saying on three, what's your favorite Mark Rober video? And then saying it was

like Glitter Bomb 7 or something. That's what they did. I didn't do this. That's what I did. Because every time I did this a lot. Let's think about

what you did during the meet and greet where every, for about the first 30 people that came up, you asked the person that came up, do you think the West

has fallen? Yeah. That's what you said. You kept asking about Bushido. I thought. Do you think the West has fallen? Yeah. That's what you said. You kept asking about Bushido. I thought. Do you think the West has fallen? I thought I would find some like-minded people. I thought I would find, because we don't build

like we used to build. Have you looked at our architecture recently? There's no soul in the West. There's less marble statues of our leaders. Oh, it's phone time. It's phone time. Phone time. Phone time! Phone time!

Phone time! Phone time! This is fun. This is fun. I'll send you a picture if you can bring it up so these fucking jackasses quit braying at me. Well, every time someone brought up Mark Rober to me, who I don't know who that is.

Also, you can bring up a picture after. Mark Rober made the widow bomb. And he made the gwiddle bomb. He made the gwiddle bomb. He's probably, just to clarify, right now the second most famous American YouTuber. Whoa, really? What?

I think so, based off average viewership per video. I think the problem is, I think the difference, when you say famous is like, I feel like less people know him as the individual. Second most successful. But if you say like, have you seen that video where it's a glitter bomb package and they try to steal it?

Everybody seen that shit. This is Ludwig unironically in the airport in the morning. This was, I said, 10 minutes within seeing him. He's wearing his jacket inside out like a Ronin's coat. Oh, hell. Oh, my gosh. You're saying it like this is crazy. This is a normal picture, I think.

Thank you. But you keep talking about Bushido, and it's like, stop. You're being embarrassing this is the equivalent of me saying blood in the airport

is you wearing him wearing this no like this like it's like it's

a ceremony to be clear this is a dumb argument I was in this airport and I was cooking because I

made a place that serves breakfast create a croissant from scratch for Aiden that's actually

not true it's true I went up blood is really cooking and so but people kept saying Mark Rover breakfast, create a croissant from scratch for Aiden. That's actually not true. It's true. I want to. Blood is willy cooking. And so, but people kept saying Mark Rober. I don't know who that is, but I know who Markiplier is. So every time I would just say, yeah, bro,

he made that Five Nights at Freddy's video. It don't make sense. This guy looks like David Dobrik. Am I crazy? Yeah. He's just wearing a hat. That's literally it. They both wear hats. Yeah, I don't know who this is, dude. All right.

And the thing is, dude, I'm most people. Most people. You ask someone at the grocery store. No. I mean, globally? Yeah. Ask someone at the grocery store. Oh, globally.

You and everybody in mainland China and in fucking India who doesn't, who don't know who Mark Rober is. Do you know who Mark Rober is? No. I think, I think, honest to God, if we were to go to a- I like that know who Mark Rober is. No. I think, I think honest to God, if we were to go to a shit on Mark Rober, I don't know to go to like a Walmart and ask if they knew Mark Rober.

A lot of people say yes. The glitter bomb videos were so viral. I'm saying just get out of your fucking mental bubble of everyone. Everyone. These went like Facebook viral. Grandmothers have seen this video. Hundreds of millions. No, I don't. I don't get it. Everyone knows everyone these went like Facebook viral. They go like Hundreds of millions no, I don't Web content is viewed more than I thought TV

91 million views do you know how many views this has on Facebook? It's another 150 mil probably And if you play it backwards If you click on the the side arrow thing on the gray text right below 157 videos he was at open sauce It'll scroll down. It'll tell you total views. Yeah, click that Yeah, he was at open sauce total views six point something billion. Is that right? Yeah, six point four billion billion with the B Wow with a B. That's a lot. He gets mugged by cocomelon Yeah, true. I don't know cocomelon. I don't know who that is. All right. That's cool I'm not saying this is a point of pride. I'm just saying sometimes like YouTube is just a tiny little baby dick

I think it is, but I think he looks like an acorn. I actually fully agree with you when we're talking about YouTubers like Like who? Like blood? Anyone in particular? Like who? Like I don't know, like I don't Like there's guys who do gaming on YouTube Sure, okay

And I get what you're saying You know what I'm saying? but like my my dad knows who that is Yeah, you say you know who Mark Rober is he goes yes He doesn't know I heard this when he talked to his father even though my father's dead on the bus ride I've seen the Glitter Bomb video and then knowing Mark Rober's name. That's like half his videos, dude. That's what I'm saying. I think there's a difference. I was looking at a KKRuleCock when he brought it up.

Dude, when you open YouTube without an account, Mark Rober's video is just the first one it shows you. I understand this, but I am saying there's a difference between I saw the Glitter Bomb video, I saw Wombo Combo, and also knowing who Mark Rober is or knowing who Homey Waffles is, right? Sure. This is actually the same debate as who's more famous, the Pope or... It is. Measuring influence versus knowing by name. It's the same conversation.

And I think it's... To claim the My Dad Saw Glitter Bomb as a Mark Rober fan view, that actually is... I think Mark Rober isn't as famous as the videos themselves wrong like certainly youtubers aren't like a lot of people did not know me there because i'm not in the maker space a lot of you had tons of people come to you and i'm saying like creators also like some creators didn't know me and i knew that because i hosted the uh family feud segment which was like kind of last second thrown together it was fun i had a little scuff

i didn't even see it and it was uh it was basically like team dumb versus team smart they picked like a bunch of really you know smart looking engineers and then five women which i thought was wrong that is wrong it is wrong it is wrong that's what will did will specifically did this i was the host of it and uh and we had a good time right i was doing the steve harvey like someone someone it was like what do you do when you procrastinate when you have a work project doug was like uh masturbate and i was like you can't say that and then it would come up and i go what and uh and then after it was done people came up to me other creators and they go wow great job hosting like you should do youtube no way yeah like a lot a lot of people

liked me for hosting but didn't know that i did youtube or like what i did for you too i love that that's great yeah yeah i hope that in in the hearts and minds of at least one human being i will be first and forever known to someone as the guy, the bald guy, who got liquid nitrogen poured on his head. Who renounced Christ on stage. Renounced Christ. I think that's funny.

I think that's cool. That is. And it's also, it's fun just to be like a quote-unquote nobody at a place like this because you just get to walk around and be like, who are you? Who are you? I had the somewhat opposite experience.

Of course, it's nothing like going to TwitchCon or something, but I was surprised at how many people either knew our show or listened to our show. I was all surprised. I was like kind of mind blown at that. Yeah, the viewers for sure a lot did. Yeah. I'm saying like other creators. Oh, okay.

Oh, really? Yeah. Like I met a lot of creators. I was like, oh, I'm Nick. And they're like, oh yeah, they are. I know you guys. I was like, that kind of blows my mind. Who is people who listen to us and like us, really? Yeah, like I met a lot of creators. I was like, oh, I'm Nick. And they're like, oh, yeah, they are. I know you guys. I was like, that kind of blows my mind. Who is people who listen to us and like us, man?

There was like a, I don't remember a lot of names. Nile Red in his dumb ass hat. Don't fucking talk Nile Red like that. How about you say what you said about Nile Red? He sold one of the ugliest hats I've ever seen in my life. Nile Red. If you're the one that says Nile Red. I spent $30 on a hat that had Ariel Bold font that said Nile

Red. You can't be charging $30 for that. And it was $30, and I bought it proudly because I love Nile Red. It is content. Nile, you seem like a really nice guy. Very nice guy. Both times I've talked to him, so lovely. He's so sweet.

You can't sell that hat. You wouldn't wear that. I know you wouldn't. You also didn't buy it. But I bought it. You didn't buy it for your love of wouldn't. You also didn't buy it. But I bought it. You didn't buy it for your love of Niall Redd. It's crazy. His name's not Niall.

Yeah, I did. Yes, I did. You bought it because you wanted to hide your face on the way to the creator space because you were getting swarmed. It was practical, but I bought it because I like it. There were so many other hats I could have bought. You would have bought it if the only hat on the way, because it was literally in the straight line.

No, because Open Sauce's booth is also on the way, then they sold more hats. No, but you would have bought it if they only had on the way because it was literally no Open sauces booth is also in the way then they sold more hats. No, you want to go around There's cow catchers that make you go around to the open sauce. He made purple gold This is literally a booth that was next to ours and you just grab it without even slowing down and if it said 1488 my best friend is the goat and it's a picture of Hitler you would have bought best friend is the goat and it's a picture of Hitler you would have bought that hat. He's gonna hit some shit. Oh my god. And so you're doing this because you know I'm right. I just want you to be truthful about why you purchased that fucking hat.

To be fair, to be fair. Hey, no, no, no, I need to cut this in because you just said that. I would not buy a hat. To be fair, that says Hitler. You did say, I really like that shirt. I'll be back to get that,

which I do believe. Would you wear it on opposite day? The Hitler one or the not red one? The Hitler one. No. Dude. Dude, that's fucked up. No, no, no. Dude, what the fuck?

This is an opposite day right now. You're fine. Wait, would you wear it on an opposite day? I don't think they've cracked this one yet. We have to reach singularity to get this in. It was also interesting to see Ludwig try not to get fan swarmed. And I'm like, wow. That's some work.

Huh? That's some work. I told Niall Redd, I'm like, hey, one of your videos is stuck on my homepage right now I won't leave and he goes which one and I was like I made an apple taste like a grape and he goes so what's wrong with the thumbnail I was like

what a question I was like nothing I'm like I remembered it doesn't that mean it's a good thumbnail he's like well you didn't click it you also kind of mugged him by saying that right yeah but I felt the energy was there yeah sure alright and his thumbnail guy was right next to him kind of mogged him by saying that, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I felt the energy was there. Yeah, sure. All right.

That's a great question. And his thumbnail guy was right next to him. Which I didn't know. His thumbnail guy is his homie, which is cool. Yeah. Same thing with,

wait, was it Niall Redd's two editors? Yeah. Yeah, they like, they've known each other forever. It was pretty cool. Oh, by the way, next week.

Next week, baby. Goat's back. Goat. Oh my God. god why are you just why are you talking like that what the fuck is that what is that because i messaged him today i told you how we have a tattoo appointment yeah and we had planned in advance and i told him hey it's coming up and he goes that's tipped off and i was like dude and he's like sorry you got to reschedule it i'm like it's like, sorry, you gotta reschedule it. I'm like, it's so annoying. So we had to reschedule it. I mean, he wins tipped off,

so he kind of gets a pass. He won the tournament. I message him after he wins. I say, hey, congrats, goat. Talk your shit,

let your nuts hang, comma. We have a tattoo appointment. We rescheduled it. It's coming up next weekend. And he goes, yikes. And I'm like,

dude, there's no way. That's weird. And he goes, he goes, yikes. And I'm like, dude, there's no way. That's weird. And he goes, I'm drunk. Message me again in three days. He's just being difficult. It was 2 p.m. today. He was being difficult.

He's celebrating the win. He likes being difficult sometimes. He was drunk at 2 p.m. today. Well, I know he's drunk. He messaged me and he says, Whispers, Yard episode. Because he likes speaking in a mochi con. And then I said,, I know he's drunk. He messaged me and he says, whispers, yard episode. Because he likes speaking in emoticon. And then I said, yes, sir, my goat. And he said, you can pour some honey on me on the episode.

And I said, love that. And he said, I'll take it like a dirty little goat slut like I am. Let me know what day I'll be there. Let me explain something, by the way. And this this is just for me, it's every day. for some people it's not right but while

the goat was winning the tournament in grand finals these three guys were talking to someone they thought was more important i was sitting on the screen i was sitting on the floor on my phone watching the goat cheering cheering my dick off. What's hilarious about this is we not only had the stream up on the table, we were explaining it to him. Yeah. Wait, really? Yes. There's play?

Yes. Thank God. I'm happy to be wrong. You're meant to throw a stray. No, it wasn't a stray. That's a stray. No, it was directed. I just think you guys didn't do it.

We were like, this is our favorite player. He hasn't won in a long time, and he's really close to doing it. Which is so funny to explain to that specific. Yeah. Beast mode. I'm so happy. But we watched the whole time. We're hardcore fans.

We were fucking backstage before we went on watching. Yeah, we were in the Croner Lounge talking to people still watching. We had Ludwig's phone up and we had my phone on a shoe and we had like an entertainment center hub because it was the multi the multi like a stream with four people come over and crouch and be like what's this yeah yeah

shut up odds one out they kept slotting I'm fucking busy he didn't he was chill about it I talked to him we we've we've sparred we have that's true an eternal bond you guys have actually i feel like does make you closer 100 or farther apart no if it goes bad i think it's well if you can cuss me no i'd be closer he'd be god now for me i have to listen to him yeah i gotta bring it up what i don't,

I'm not happy to do this. I've talked a lot about it. And just, I kind of want to preface it by saying I fucking went undefeated in basketball, shot a two over eight and win the game,

game winner. I just, sorry. Slow motion, right? I'm doing this not to hurt you. Splash city. I'm doing this

because I have to follow up and say, the day in between open sauce where I came back and we did unpaid intern. I scored so many points. After basketball, we went to dinner and then to a bar and then a karaoke.

Okay. The crazy night. Yeah, I'll kill myself, by the way. He likes doing that shit. I'm on town. I'm on town. Point Girl came up to me at Open Sauce and was like, dude, what the fuck? The one week I don't go to basketball, you do all this cool shit?

And I was like, I didn't go. I wasn't there. It was fun. We had a great time. But one of the games that we started playing, because Shake got really, he got back in a trivia crack. Trivia, the, you remember that game from like high school? What?

Yeah. Wait, the one that you can win money? This one. Your phone's off. Oh. It's the Black Mirror. Oh, shit, the... This one. The one where, like... Your phone's off. Oh. That's the Black Mirror. Oh, shit, dude. This one.

Okay, try again. It's the one where you spin... Yes. This is unbelievable. ...and it gives you a category. So he got back into that. That's crazy. It turns out it's horrible.

So he started playing Cup Pong on mobile. And you're getting dusted. And he beat me six times in a row. That's fucked up. It was really fucked up. Oh, that's why Connor was watching it. He beat me six times in a row. Connor, fucked up. It was really fucked up. Oh, that's why Connor was watching it. He beat me six times in a row. Connor, your pants.

We should check if Shake is like, you know, like if he can memorize a city in ten seconds. Like, by looking at it. I think he could memorize like a thousand digits of pi and he might need it because he's going to run out of a job soon. Yeah. Shake is on the chopping block and we also, we always joke about it, but this time it's for real. It's always been for real, but like, you know, it's, it's, it's actions coming. Because where the fuck is the is the basketball video? Where is it? Where is he hiding it? Is it like it's like somewhere in the computer? He went on Paul's computer and deleted it. I assume he keeps saying it's inside his hard drive. I don't know. If I asked Gronk to make it

it would be done in what five seconds? Maybe. And what's weird is he has terabytes in his hard drive with the P. The P to terabytes. The terabytes. Like a dragon. So anyway, I had to give Sheikah's kudos because we mongered a lot. I hate giving Sheikah's kudos. The reason I didn't go that night, why I had to leave basketball early, was I went to Zipper 3's friend's birthday at the beach.

Oh, it's the mushroom seance, right? Hmm? Oh, no, sorry. That was last week. My bad. Different thing. My bad. I went to...

Have you been to Dockweiler Beach before? No. Have you guys been to Dockweiler? That's the villain in Sonic? Yeah. Yeah, and Dr. Eggman fucking... I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't know what this...

What is it? It's just a beach. It's just a beach in SoCal. Then why did you ask if we've gone there? Dude, because it's a giant beach in SoCal that you can have bonfires at and shit like that. You don't do this? Bonfires are dangerous for one.

You live here for so long. Dangerous for one, for two, beaches, sand, yucky. And the story is that you went to the beach? The beach is packed out, and the main reason that it's really, really crowded is there is a graduation party of high school students

and there's like 500 kids partying around this. They talk about me? They talk about Nick. Yeah. They said he came to their graduation and talked about

how to beat off. Whoa. I wouldn't do that. You said you would do that. I might teach them how it works. Like a teacher. Which is crazy because exactly what he said. Not like a demonstration.

No one said there was a demonstration. There isn't, so good. Now I feel like there was a demonstration. It'd be like I'd have a health book that I wrote. You could teach them about anything. You could teach them about camera lenses. I don't know. Or like editing.

Like Falco combos. It wouldn't transfer into life skills. Yeah, that's true. Right. That's true. So anyway, you're at the beach.

But this party, this party is gigantic. Like I've been to a party like this maybe one time in my life. And all of these kids are, they're a little rowdy

and they look like they're having a good time. But there's like fights breaking out on occasion like kids fucking that's cool going at each other and then um and then the fight will like disperse and they'll just go back to like dancing and hanging out and uh a lot of these a lot of the girls at the party are are twerking they're just like around in different spots on the beach. They're goddamn American, right? While people have speakers set up and stuff like that. They all look like they're having,

this big group of people looks like they're having a good time. They all heard that Mango won. They're popping off about tipped off. This was on Saturday. So he hadn't done it yet. They knew. They knew. They just spent all day watching the double quad stream.

He just reversed the road to Egg Money. spent all day watching the double quad stream. He just reversed the road to Egg Money. We watch as the party kind of slowly gets rowdier and rowdier and the beach cops pull up in one of those little golf carts.

The golf cart has the lights on and they're kind of circling the party, but it's just two cops in a golf cart. Dude, that's a tear below mall cops. The kids don't give a fuck like they're not even reacting they won't talk to these guys no and they're they they keep doing this thing where they like park the golf cart in a new position and get out and then like try to talk to somebody and everybody's just ignoring them nobody will interface with the golf cart

talk to our media liaison please but But then another cop car pulls up, like one of the beach trucks, and then they try to do the same. They're kind of doing this like cow herding thing where they're like circling the group of kids. Still, nobody fucking cares. And there's these giant lifeguard towers on the beach, right? And it's getting late,

so there's like no lifeguard on duty anymore. And have you guys ever seen the video? It's called Leadership by a dancing guy or leadership from a dancing guy. And it's like this dude at a music festival and he's like dancing in the grass and it's narrated and explaining it's explaining in like nature style narration, how a movement starts like this guy dancing alone. And then eventually how one person decides to join him and that gives the Encouragement to one more person to join them and then it explodes into a giant crowd and the whole thing is on video

This one girl decides to climb up the side and onto the top of the lifeguard tower and she is maybe This video this video. I've seen this and she's maybe like and she is maybe this video, this video. Oh, I've seen this. And she's maybe like 20, 30 feet in the air

and she starts twerking on top of the lifeguard tower. She's the queen of them. In front of the cops who are trying to stop the party and get her to come down. She makes that hypno-tone sound

from Futurama. She's twerking on top of the lifeguard tower in front of the cops who cannot get her to move. And then one person decides to climb the side of the lifeguard tower.

And then we watch, it's like World War Z. We watch this like crowd of like 30 people climb the sides in the front of the lifeguard tower as they all like dance and twerk in front of the police

who are parked in front of them. And then about five minutes into this you hear sirens down the street and on the ridge that you take to get into this beach parking lot you see a line of like six cop cars coming down the road real cops and turning to come pull up and like shut down the party. And then this doesn't stop. It's like three groups of six cars come in at once and then the police helicopter comes. Dude, what? And the kids-

Dude, pay for that shit. I'm not, dude, this is exactly what I thought. They have a helicopter come that comes to start and circle the beach with a fucking headlight and the police brought flare guns, dude. And they shoot flare guns and drive the beach with a fucking headlight and the police brought flare guns dude and they shoot flare guns and drive the group of kids off the beach over the course of like the next 20 minutes dude it's like real war dude and we need more twerkers on the tower nothing crazy is happening like nothing insane has happened the whole evening. They're twerking on the tower. You're not listening to your own story.

The West has fallen. Listen to Bushido. The West has fallen. The East would never twerk on tower. And this is also, Dockweiler is right below LAX. So every, the whole time we've been there,

like the couple hours, there are giant jets flying really low overhead, like maybe every like two to five minutes. So at one point that it's gone it's dark there's flare guns going off this chopper is circling police sirens are going off and jumbo jets are flying like a couple like hundred feet above the above the helicopter it's like max sensory overload and it's almost about five million dollars in a house that's just experiencing all this. God damn it. They probably got

the fucking cops. And they shut down and this, you know, the beach is supposed to close at like 10 or 11 or whatever. Was it someone's birthday?

What was it? We were there for somebody's birthday because people just gather there and go on weekends to have like bonfires. And they're all there

for this birthday? No, they were there for their high school graduation. We're not hanging out with the high schoolers. Yeah, so you're there with them. Remember when we threw our papers out of our backpack because we were done their high school graduation. We're not hanging out with the high schoolers. Yeah, so you're there with them. Remember when we threw our papers out of our backpack

because we were done with high school? No. You've said this before, and you yearn for a time that will never come back. Because the kids now don't have backpacks. They don't have backpacks. They don't have papers. They throw their Chromebook in the air,

and the keys shatter. Or they throw up theirpacks. They throw their Chromebook in the air. Yep. And the keys shatter. What do they throw up in the air now? Vaccines? Their iron suitcase. They have a bag full in the school. Their ankles. Dude, the kid that brought a briefcase to school can't throw it. Why?

Because he's wearing a suit and he'll crumple it. But also, it's too dangerous. He's tied to his wrist with a, what do you call that? A handcuff? Yeah, that's right. They got, at the end of this, they got all the kids to disperse onto the top of the hill

to leave. They aren't letting anybody else come into the beach anymore. They're shutting everything down. And then that golf cart is coming back and up through all the other groups

of normal people who were there. And they come over to us and they're really upset and they're yelling at us that the beach is closed. The beach closes in like an hour.

Like that's not, and they kick out our our fire and say this is a legal fucking fire you need to leave right now and then i could have you fucking like i can have you arrested for this i could give you a ticket right now and i was like and then i said i looked him in the eye and i said okay and then and then he said give me your id right now i was like i just don't have it i don't know what you want and then they drove away after kicking over her fire and then and then he said give me your id right now i was like i just don't have it i don't know what you want and then they drove away after kicking over a fire and then that's how the night ended and then we and then you had to drive through the hordes of kids who are just like still fighting still starting fights still on top of the ridge like in front of the gate and one kid was banging on the window of our car as we pulled out to like go home

It was crazy. It was that is and I was Wow, it's amazing that these police like harassed these children and also like swatted and broke into our home It's like it's good that that's what they do to think instead you could have gone to karaoke and sung beautiful songs I think this was more eventful. This is more. I was probably watching Ridiculousness when it was happening. Whoa. That's why you were at there Saturday night. I went on Saturday. That makes sense.

And then you don't hang out. Yeah. Yeah. I was playing Teppan. Great voice. Teppan. Can I give you one more? Am I the asshole?

Yeah, of course. Does it have to do with me? Ita. It has to do with... Who's has to do with who's in my mouth who's in my mouth we were in the parking lot well we're sorry we're leaving the airport right you know we all arrived together yeah late as hell and then i get in my i rode my vespa to the airport and so i'm leaving on my vespa it's like one a.m you didn't just ride your vest for the airport huh you didn't my Vespa to the airport. And so I'm leaving on my Vespa. It's like 1am.

You didn't just ride your Vespa to the airport. Huh? You didn't just ride your Vespa to the airport. What do you mean? You know how most people go to the airport with a vehicle? They pay for parking. So this is, this is the end of the answer. No way.

I, so, you know, parking's like $24 a day and it technically went over midnight. So it counted as a full day. So like bumped up to like 36, 40 bucks with my little vest boys skirt around the gate skirt Okay, skirt around the gate Zipper you skirt around the gate one time or two. Yeah, I Feel like it is I guess just put me on the cross now. I don't know It's what I do in exchange for my side organ donor. And it's going to happen. Do I not get any rake back? I get nothing for the organ.

I don't get to skip a ticket. Genuinely, you put it that way. If you're an organ donor, you can skip tolls and gates and parking fees. I want extra Chick-fil-A sauce, too. Every time. Bob Hope needs it. They need the money. Bob Hope needs that.

The money. They need the money. Bob Hope needs that. The money. They need your coins. If someone in fucking the comments pipes up and I find out that like it comes out of the wages of the attendee because they track it or some shit. That's illegal. Wait, wait. No, no. Not like that.

But the revenue earned by the parking structure goes to the airport. Yeah, but that doesn't change. It wouldn't change the pay. No. Well, because that would mean trickle-down economics works. If we steal a candy bar from Walmart, okay, if everyone does it. What kind of candy bar? Nerds rope.

Not a candy bar, but it would matter. What about when I go to Walmart and I mess up the Hershey's section and then I make the peaceables one look nice? Do you think if you had enough kidney stones, you could make a nerd's rope? You could make a nerd's rope. I'm trying to make this nerd rope. Which nerd?

Look at the nerd you want. I thought you were looking at him. I thought you meant him. I'm trying to make an eye contact with him. I think it's fine. I think you earn it. Of course you do. Well, sure, I'm a eye contact with him I think it's fine I think you earn it Of course you do Well sure I'm a bit of a You don't care about all that

I'm a bit of freedom fighter OpenSoft made me Pro religion and anti-science Wow Why is that? I don't know Mark Rober was there Yeah but fucking

That guy's alt-right That guy's alt-right. was a shit game, so who cares? That guy's alt-right. What does that have to do with God? If you loved God, you might be closer to that. I know.

He's the goat. Oh, I see. But he said on his YouTube page we just brought up, he said he's a friend of science. You're a Christian evangelical. No, that's the thing. That's how he infiltrates.

Friend of science. You know what I mean? If you want to convert the other side, you gotta act like you're one of them. I see his game. You're like, hey, check check out this glitter bomb video. Mark Rober is like Le Pen He's moderating his message for a better foothold. We're tackling politics

We're tackling religion and we're gonna tackle how even if I were to shave my head bald I would be just as famous as I am right now All this and more on the premium episode guys. I don't know if we have to remove that. I would be more famous, just to be clear, if I was bald, possibly. Remove it. Dude, shut the fuck up. What do you want? What do you want in school?

You want them all to have blue hair? Well, we have to remove the jokes about... You're the one who said it. Now I have to message Arshi, because we have to cut that. We've all said some things we shouldn't say. I'm not sure if I'm guilty of that. Does that make me? Am I wrong?

Was he wrong when he said you're the fattest ass in the terminal? He said something that people shouldn't say. You shouldn't talk about fat ass in the airport. I got kicked out of SFO for, you guessed it, talking about Ludwig's big fucking ass. Can't talk about a couple hams anymore! Okay, honey baked.

Too much talking about some hams! Honey baked fits right in my hands. We'll see you on the primo. Uh, fuck, there was one last thing I wanted to- oh yeah. What? It was really nice meeting the fans. Everyone who came up was pretty cool. Thanks for coming out. Everyone was cool. One person I didn't like.

I also didn't like one person. I had one person. We'll talk about those people. We will name them and we'll link their Patreon. And we'll describe them with a police sketch artist so you can see what they look like. Say their address. Okay, see you in the promo. Bye.