The Yard - Ep. 156 - We Flew Across the World (ft. anything4views)

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by anything4views! They discuss what content chad is most proud of, trying to stop drinking & gambling, and how goon caves was banned...

This, this but it's filled with piss. My piss. Do you want to close that door as well? It's the piss cannon. And then the piss cannon. Don't do that, don't do that. Why? Because I don't like when the fans get weird. I did that as a kid.

I saw some of my dad's whiskey, and I just pissed back in it to fill it up. No, you didn't. I did, yeah. Did he say, hey? No, he didn't. Because I didn't do a full bottle. I wanted half the bottle. So I did half the bottle, and then I filled a little bit of up with piss.

Why didn't you use water? Because it would have dil have diluted it but piss it's got color to it he drank the whole thing he didn't notice the difference is he still alive yeah you should have you ever told him this no dude you should tell him bro call your dad and tell him that and record it then I really get abusive Dangerous phone call yeah, no, thanks. Do you guys think I look like cool shirts Scott? So many comments about you And then you guys did a tweet right Dude okay, I get told all the time I look like people.

That picture looks like me. That guy. That one looks like Scott. It's tough. I hate when there's a winner because people love posting doppelganger photos. Like, doesn't this guy look like Eamon? And it's like, no, not at fucking all. But then that one in 20 guy will hit. And they'll post some.

I think it was some guy posted a video of two guys like drinking in the front of a car and just like you and and they said it was and i didn't read the caption first and i actually thought it was a video of me and then i hate when i have that feeling because they've won yeah in my head i've lost i love it i fucking love it because all my doppelgangers are like naked on Twitter, and that's something I would do It was like a Mardi Gras parade. There's this fat bearded dude and like same build as me like same hairstyle same everything They're like Chad. What are you doing at Mardi Gras? That's me. You're like I'm taking my ball sack skin and putting it over my wiener and making a bed for it I can't do that. I'm tucking it in. My balls, they shrivel up when I play with them too much

They're like no I'm going back in, you don't play with me. Mine are so stretchy. Really? Yeah. I think you're circumcised, right? I think we talked about that last time. I've been mostly off Twitter and Instagram, but this time is getting filled with Reddit more, I've noticed. And I found this video on Reddit of a guy walking through a hardware store. He's completely alone, and he's like this buff 60 year old man and he's rock hard walking through carrying like power tools to

check out and then the person in the video recording him is the teller and they just have to check him out normally because he's not only is he rock hard but he's also really buff and he kind of just looks threatening and he has power tools with him so you just kind of have to let the guy he was getting hot He's getting hot at the thought of renovating his Much work today, and then he just that's how we trade American soldiers. I have to go through that We give them trend boners and make them go to Lowe's. Yeah, they gotta buy tools Train give you a burner. I gave that guy a boner. Okay, actually trend probably works the opposite

Did Tren give you a boner? It gave that guy a boner. Oh, okay. Actually, Tren probably works the opposite. It probably makes your prostate look like a raisin or some shit. I know one guy on steroids and I saw his cock and it looked funnier than mine. Funnier? Yeah.

When you say funny. Like a little hat funny? It looks like, because I'm big and I've got a lot of fat, when my penis shrivels up. Why are we talking about this? I did have a, I was about to interrupt you to describe your penis and then I realized you might be the first guest that we have on where if I ask you, if I ask you to show you,

show me your penis, you'll do it. Oh, 100%. Yeah. I'm not shy. I like that. I respect that. He's not afraid.

Like the Eminem song. I think anytime Chad says something that we don't put on the yard, we just like superimpose Ludwig onto him. Yeah. It's Ludwig saying,

you know, I love Red Bull or something. I something i drink gamma sops that shit way better oh ludwig's not here we can say whatever we want i can just drink a competitor say whatever we want you yeah wait what's i gonna say about ludwig uh fuck i forgot how he's not here and how it's gonna be his birthday and we're not there we don't care yeah happy okay happy birthday to two things one the united states of America. Happy Fourth of July. That's today, right? Fucking Fourth of July.

It's today in the US. There's fireworks in the streets of Australia. You wouldn't think that they would do it? That they would celebrate? They were firing on bottle rockets. Oh, they were here. Yeah. And Kai said that went viral.

I hate that. Fourth of July. Why the fuck are Australians celebrating Fourth of July? Because you guys gave us space for a CIA base, dude. Yeah, listen, bro. You guys show for us. Also, we beat your ass in World War II and we'll do it again. You called for our help.

What are you talking about? Help? You guys sent, what, 40 guys? Yeah, and you guys sent them to fucking... You sent them to their deaths. We have a date for it. The day the Americans sent all the Australians to New Zealand to their fucking death. We'll send the tank car.

Can we get Glombo on the front line? Can we get him up there and maybe he can talk to the Nazis and tell them, hey mate, don't do that. Listen, if you put the Australians on the front line, the war would have ended a lot earlier. You guys lost to emus. We lost to emus. You. We have loosed emus! You lost to the emus! You're also losing to toads currently. It wasn't a tie. Yeah, it wasn't a tie.

It's complicated. We came to a diplomatic agreement. History did not start in theory. We'd put them on our currency if they were chill, and they're chill now. Wow. They just wanted respect. That's all, yeah. The emus are pulling the strings.

That's what it really is. Dude, they're putting emus on the money and We can't even get Harriet Tubman on the 20. Who's Harriet Tubman? See? And that's the problem. That's the problem. I don't need to know American history. I didn't know you guys had like slavery until I watched Django. You didn't know. That cannot be true. You didn't. That just can't be true. Like I like I knew but I didn't think it was that bad. You know bad. You didn't think it was that bad. You didn't think only human beings for labor. I didn't know the extent of it. You thought it was like a chill sort of like niche. I didn't know you were like importing people to do it. You didn't think we were importing people? Where do you think they were coming from? America? I don't know. It's a big country. Yeah, well, I mean we imported ourselves as well, you know. Oh, there you go. There's a lot of importing. There's still a lot of importing, but now we just mostly do like cigarettes, zins, vapes. So this is illegal, illegal, right? No, they just, okay, so anytime something cool comes to Australia, like vapes, big tobacco hates it, because big tobacco...

This is, you know Kalen right? Yeah, okay Kalen was explaining this week that the the smoke shop that he buys his Is in equipment it got firebombed wait what and that the restrictions in Australia are so tight on the nicotine products that they Import them in illegally to sell them at a lot of these stores Which are controlled by gangs and Kalen said that his neighborhood smoke shop got firebombed. Yeah, one up the road got me- got firebombed like a couple months ago. You guys get your shit together. Well, it's the government's fault because someone cool comes in like vapes.

And they're tight! And they're delicious! And the kids love them! And they're cool. Like, they love Grog. Our kids are already- Our kids are smoking Grog. The kids like Grog. The kids love Grog. It's- it's kinda like a- I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like Grog. Our kids are already... The kids are smoking Grog. The kids love Grog. It's got to be like that. I love Grog. I love Grog.

They love this branding for fun, like cartoony. I put a freaking Glog in my lunchbox at school. What's the percentage, by the way? 6.6%. That's pretty... That'll kill a kid for sure. Just wipe one out. It says 14 and up.

That's pretty good. Try to make sure it didn't say it. Do you want to try one since you drank? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some in everyone. But, yeah, with a ring in, the government makes them illegal. Gangs are like, well, we can just import them from China and sell them at our smoke shops, which they are doing.

The government goes, oh, we're not making any money off of it. And then the bikies have gangs over who can sell them. That is crazy. Dude, can we go, like, firebomb something? I feel like that's... Well, we'd have to join a gang. Wait, how did you like it? Oh.

Rate it out of 10. It's actually... 8. Oh, fuck. Wow it? Oh, right out of ten. It's actually eight Wow That's high. That's high. Yeah, I mean you you do the thing is though. Do you think Steve Jobs? Puts an iPhone in so I like this I like this better than like white claw Anything's better than white claw. That's chalky shit than truly hmm. You sure you don't want to break some writing than trulys? You sure you don't want to break sobriety?

Dude, okay, I was saying earlier, Chad is the only guy ever in my life. I've been sober for 12 years now about, and everyone I tell, they're like, namaste. You're doing God's work. You're so brave. And Chad's just like, come on. Come on. Who the fuck cares?

What are you doing? Let me explain the Australian ideology behind that. You've got a demon in you, right? That's right. You've got a demon. Yeah. What makes you more of a man? Okay.

Someone that cuts the demon out of their life or someone that controls the demon? Controls the demon. Exactly. You're saying I've been running from the demon when I should just... You don't think... He's inside here and I need to talk to him. Yeah, you've just got to fucking strangle him inside only 12 drinks. You've just got to get it around the neck and like, as soon as you have that 13, you fucking punch it in the face.

Nothing says you can control the demon like letting him only have 12. Getting to 12 and telling the demon no more. Man, this stuff is cool. You sure you don't want to break sobriety? Yeah. How long have you been in sobriety before? It's got Red 40 in it. No, it doesn't.

I'll make a shit up. My whole life. You never been drunk? One time when I was 13, or one time when I was 11. What? How? 12, 12, right before high school. You went to the kid's bar.

Eighth grade, 12 years. You got on the lunch line, you got some grog. We just, my brother's a lot older than me, so we had a bunch of alcohol at home and I had a bunch of friends over and I was like,

I don't want to drink in high school. So I was like, I'm just going to get really drunk before high school so no one can be like, you don't even know what it's like. Oh, yeah. That was my rationale.

I was like, well, I'll know what it's like and then I can be like, yeah, I do. But you did it when you were a kid. That's like fucking, that's, no, you gotta do it as an adult.

It's so much better. Looking back, it might have just been like a Capri Sun then go on Go on then love. I do love this this this mission that you're on now. I fully respect people's sobriety If you guys already fucking pussy that's your choice. I would have I actually would have loved this when I was 12 Oh my god Yeah I know right cause it's colorful If I would have had this back then. It's like a delicious, like, fruity, like... I may have accidentally, like, think it was formula, and, like, reach and grab it.

You guys have no... I've seen Four Loko cans, alright? Like, that just looks like a fucking energy drink. That is crazy. Our friend Kalen wanted to... He wanted us to import a Four Loko. He wanted us to put it in our bag. They look like Lil Wayne's pants.

They changed the formula just so they don't have energy in them anymore right yeah they lowered the amount of caffeine in them it was like one tapping teenagers that was when i went to la like five years ago or six i was long enough it's like six or seven years ago we went to twitchcon we got a tour bus uh to san diego from la and i was like fucking i want four locos. I grabbed three of them. And I had no idea how strong they were. I had an edible as well.

Yeah. Yeah. And I smashed three four locos. And I think that was the first time in my life I said, should I quit? Like, everywhere. You're just having a crisis. Because I didn't know it was in a four loco. I was battling like, oh, I'm so tired from the weed.

But the four loco has got got like it was like mm-hmm That's an Amazon worker speedball. That's what that is. They don't have those anymore They're replacing robots and Amazon no we still got we still have people in their bones and flesh if warzone has players Amazon has employees Oh, man, your country is fucked up. It's pretty fucked up, especially right now. What's your minimum wage? It's $7.25 federally. But the idea, here, political science almost minor here. The idea.

Not the political science almost major speak. Almost minor, thank you. Almost minor. Excuse me. Is that the idea is that Federally it's set But you let the states Dictate what they want to set And that is the

The joke of our country Is it's Market capitalism 50 times split And then everyone Does what they want So what's the good state Like what's the

What's the state That actually cares about people It depends I think the highest I think the highest state one Is like Washington But the cities Have higher ones

So like if you live In parts of but the cities have higher ones so like if you live in parts of california you keep have i live in new york as well yeah new york city has good social programs but but x.com will tell you that it's like a like fallujah like a wasteland of you know war and and gun bullets i felt like that when i walked down la in la what part uh any part you go walk down la it, oh, this is a nice street. Next street, tents. Downtown. And then you speak to them like, oh, what do you do?

And they're like, I have a full-time job. I'm like, what? Why the fuck are you living in a tent? I do a podcast called Chuggle Sandwich. Dude, you know what opened my eyes? For high school, my senior project, I fed the homeless. homeless and i was like did the whole thing about you had to do like a uh yeah every single home source in colorado you had to do like community service and it was like your project and mine was like feeding homeless and i met all

these homeless people and they come in and the one guy had a psp because this was 2008 he's like oh cool i can charge my psp here i'm like you have a psp you play that he's like yeah like i live in a tent i cannot afford to live in an apartment but i like video games. I'm like, you have a PSP? You play that? He's like, yeah. Like, I live in a tent. I cannot afford to live in an apartment, but I like video games. And I'm like, oh, this is a problem. I think I'd be caught happy living like that for some reason. Oh, 100%.

That's actually where I, that was my, that was the dark soul of man. He taught me everything I wanted. But what I'm saying is we hate our homeless and we wish to put them in a big street. Right. Right? Yeah, that's, Gavin Newsom wish to put them in a big street. Right. Yeah, Gavin Newsom wants to put them all in one big street.

If we cared about our homeless, they wouldn't be homeless. I gave a homeless guy in LA once a sandwich, like a full sandwich, not like a half-eaten sandwich, a full new sandwich. And he was like, what's in it? And I was like, turkey, lettuce, tomato. He's like, tomato? Nah. That's B. And you said no. That's a LA homeless guy that went there to become an actor,

and he's still got that attitude. He doesn't realize he's homeless yet. There's no oat milk in it. Fuck off. Our homeless problem here is getting worse the more we follow suit with America. So we have public housing. Do you guys have that? Public housing?

Yeah. For homeless people? Yeah. It depends. Shelters have wait times. There's like six months wait. Oh, no. We have like programs where we give them an apartment to live in.

We definitely don't have that. There's only like a... There's a couple cities in the US that do that, but... Yeah. That's the most popular thing here. So we have... Do you have a... We have cities in America, or at least in California, where being homeless is illegal.

What the fuck do they do? Kill them? No, they show up cops I've watched this happen in front of me cops will drive up They'll put them in a car and they'll drive into the nearest city where it's legal and those drop them off That's a South Park episode Just do daily ferry among South Park episode. They would make a city. They'd all drive into the same city and they would make a city It's crazy so why do you guys live in la then because there's plenty of different places i'd say we all have different motivation

maybe originally but what's the point of living in la you got high taxes yeah well it depends right like there's at the moment it's where we all live at the same time right and so we do a show with four of us which is like the biggest thing in three of our lives. So it's like if we moved, then that would be bad. I think the biggest thing for people is just work. Like you have some sort of opportunity in a niche industry, like entertainment, that is going to be in Los Angeles, and you just kind of have to go there to do it. It'd be really hard to do what I want to do not there.

Because there's so many resources available as well to like, if you need someone for something, it's very, that's like one thing about Australia with anything we want to do that lines with that scope. It's like a select group of people. There's like, like you worked with the same people we worked with. Coincidentally. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, it's because it's the only people here that do it. I feel like Nick will be like, oh, I don't fuck. We don't, our, our $20,000 camera isn't working right now. What if we went down the street and got a different one? From our friend. From our friend? Because all these resources are in one place well, it was really funny so we we shot a music video while we were here for a tricky Mac and matey and the

We were getting her casting for extras and as we were casting they had a bunch of people who reached out to like the the casting call and I was like asking quite like talking about the people out loud and the producers were casting, they had a bunch of people who reached out to the casting call, and I was talking about the people out loud, and the producers were, they had basically already casted all these people and other things, and were like, oh, let's show you some stuff they're in that we've shot. And I was like, that's crazy.

That would never happen in LA. You would never get a casting call with the same overlap of people. There's so many fucking actors. A career extra is kind of a cool... Yeah, yeah. That's like what Australia can afford as an option. It's getting a bit better here because

I don't know if people watching will give a shit about this, but our government did like a... Listen up, you fucking idiots. It's government time. I think it's interesting. Political science, almost minor. Really? Almost minor. One credit away. They did like a rebate thing

like if they come and shot your movie so you get a massive rebate from the government and it helps like our tourism industry and stuff

like that so a lot of movies so talk to me have you guys seen that no that was shot by our friends Danny and Michael

wait that's a YouTuber movie yeah A24 bought it yeah yeah I know this that was shot in Adelaide here

okay there was a massive rebate so like yeah let's fucking film here it was funded by Film Australia and stuff this that was shot in Adelaide here. Okay, there's a massive rebate So like yeah, let's fucking film here. It was funded by film Australia stuff like that So now that we have a bunch of rebates a lot of people are actually coming over here and trying to shoot movies and find Actors and a lot of actors are actually moving here as well Isn't Hugh Jackman Australian? Yeah, I fucking I didn't know for 20 years and not kidding really He was like an Australian icon for us. Yeah, dude you to me

I didn't know that for a while, but I do know that now that's crazy. That's crazy missing a few Yeah, no fucking way Kidding me Australian. I thought he was doing a bit the whole Is the Australian accent really that appealing? Is it appealing? Okay, fuck off. No. No.

No. Can I get a couple of meat pies and perhaps some Milo? Can I have an AK-47? Someone bullied me at school. Wow. But still doing the Australian accent. Why are we in McDonald's right now?

I don't understand. My dad's from New York. It's nostalgic to hear. You got a truck I vote for Trump. Fucking Trump. Yeah, fucking Trump. Keep my guns.

Dude, being American sucks. God, we should take you to a rally and you do your American accent. Like a Trump rally. Oh, that's a real thing? I thought those were jokes.

No, they're real. Do you not have gatherings here where everyone supports their political Accent like a trump rally. Oh, that's a real thing. I thought those were jokes Do you not have gatherings here where everyone supports their political like figure in an election time? people Sometimes sometimes okay. Yeah, it's not like usually we just gather around the pubs Then we like put on the TV, and we just drink and watch it Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then it kind of wraps wraps up and then you bet on those virtual greyhounds. Yeah. Yeah, literally. Dude, I just learned about fucking virtual greyhounds.

Dude, the virtual greyhound racing is degenerating. Dude, I wanna go do that immediately. Ah, we can go do that. There's TNTs all around the place. I would love to do that. Okay, what is it? I haven't seen this. Dude, you bet on CGI fucking race dogs on TVs at a pub. And it's just like the algorithm says which one wins or whatever? Basically, yeah.

I think it's a massive scam. Imagine all your boys betting on fucking virtual dogs. I think there's something beautiful about the physicality of a roulette ball just swirling around, you know? You haven't seen VR dogs running. You don't get it. You don't get it. As soon as I see them, I'm like... You give them little nicknames.

It's really funny because when we do it- When you're eating your chicken parma and you're betting on number four virtual dog and saying- When we do it as well we all pick different colors and we determine the colors off like a random gen on our phone

and we just pick it so It's a fun time. It's a fun way of playing. God I wanna gamble so bad. I don't drink. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. But you'll fucking gamble.

You can't put like a fucking little guy on this to advertise to kids. No, it wasn't. But you're all like dicked into gambling. Yeah, it's because the gambling is controlled heavily by the government and they reap the benefits of it. Our government is fucked up. If they can get a slice of the pie, they'd let us execute homeless people. If it made their money. Ours would too, yeah. It would just be... I think at the moment it wouldn't be a PR

disaster. You don't think it would be a PR disaster? I don't think it would. Not for Trump. Not for Trump. Yeah, Trump's cleaning up the homeless. That's what I'm saying. I'm not even kidding, dude. We're fucked up right now. Now we got meat at the meat market.

Yeah. It's not glued together. It's not that fake meat. It's human meat. Fucking eating meat. I don't eat cow anymore. I eat fucking human. You think the evangelical base would have dropped from that, but no. No, I bet it's biblical, eating human guys.

I reckon there's like a 20% population in America that we were like, fuck it, let's eat the homeless. Dude, I'm not kidding. I think it's, maybe I'm just doomer, but I think it's bad. Isn't this the plot to Snowpiercer? This is like bar for bar that movie? I never saw it, but yeah. They weren't eating human meat. They were eating bug meat.

You could never do Snowpiercer in America because there's no trains. No, there was people in that. Was there? Yeah. I don't remember. That was why that was so dark. That's awesome. That's base.

Let me tell you something though so when is a guy a guy like me do like me i like gambling because let's say let's say i'm an alcoholic if i drink a beer it's not like i can just suddenly earn 10 more beers by chance right it only goes down if you can do a good party trick in a pub you could with gambling i i drink the proverbial beer of that and I can get 10 back. There's a possibility. You could also lose. It was 100.

100 beers. Yeah, you could finish your beer and look back at it and it's still full. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, how'd that happen? That's what we chase. Or you could open your beer and it's fucking empty. Oh, that happens though. It happens.

That's part of the fun. You've got to be down to come back. Well, maybe if I open up the next beer, there'll be two beers in it. Is this an Obama-scented candle? Yeah, what's it smell like? Oh, that smells like vanilla. Dude, they have a Markiplier's Gooch. Ugh, yeah. Does this smell like Markiplier's Grundle?

I don't know. We ordered them on Etsy. Dude, this does. Dude, you guys probably have... I've smelled his taint before. This is what it smells like. You guys probably have more random shit than Ludwig. They got a ton of shit. Really?

Yeah, it's because we just order crap. Some stuff doesn't even make it into videos. And then we're like, fuck it. We dress the set with just like random crap. I don't know. We got tins of beans. We got Cheetos that say AIDS on it. Chad, I have a question.

Yeah. Two years ago, we came to Australia. And I entered a tournament called phantom i played doubles at that tournament and guess what i sold the trophy i won yeah and i sold the trophy chad sees the trophy everyone remembers chad sees the trophy he wants it uh i give it to you i was kind of hoping you wouldn't bring this up and you asked for you got one year with it. It's now been two years. That's plus interest. I would like to know where it is.

So the economy, right? Are you going to be upset if it's gone? Am I going to be upset if it's gone? You know, we'll still be friends, but yes. It depends on how it's gone. Did you just absentmindedly lose it in some sort of move? Did you drop it to the bottom of a deep river, perhaps? I think when we moved that the movers thought it was rubbish.

I'm just kidding. I'm going to get it for you. No, it is. Wait, he's right. It is doubles. Imagine the movers. They look at it like, oh, my God. Hold on. It is doubles. Imagine the movie was like... They look at it and they're like, oh my god, a tri... Hold on.

It's doubles. It's doubles. Yeah. We've been... It's been a weird couple... We have... The last one, you were gone and Stans was on. How was that? You like Stans?

I would rather behead him with a scimitar than have him on again. Yeah. And then there's this one, Ludwig's gone. He's in fucking America right now. He's gone. It's his birthday. It's his birthday. It's his birthday. It's his birthday. It's his birthday.

It's so dusty. Well, it's been sitting on the set. If you watched a Collins video, you'd see it in the background. Wow. That's cute. Hey, you got it back. I'm going to bring it to Phantom this year. Yeah, when we move.

Hey, it's me, the champ. When we moved, they did pick it up and go, are you taking this with you? So I made an effort to grab it and move it here. Did you ever snort some rack off that? They did pick it up and go are you taking this with you? Did you ever ever snort some rack off that yeah, I actually did use it for cocaine hence why it's got that's not dust Told you I'd snort cocaine Actually around the last time I did coke before I quit was off of that. Actually? It was the only clear surface in the room.

I'm going to go through DSA and the dog's going to start fucking barking at me. No, clean it. Seriously, fucking clean it. Because I made an effort to do coke off of it as a joke, and I was going to film it and send it to you, and I was like, that's a bit incriminating and fucked up to send. So I did it as a joke and I was gonna film it and send it to you and I was like That's a bit incriminating fucked up to send so I did it three times and each time I still couldn't like get the strength to do it and it became a joke between me and my WoW buddies that I Did coke with like where's the smash trophy?

Where's the coke? So yeah seriously clean it up Cutting it up with a foam motherboard I'm thinking you filming yourself doing coke off his trophy and then doing that little Apple security logo Video like that where we do like high quality ads for mad massive companies and run them as Facebook ads So they pop up so we wanted to do like oh my god we wanted to do one for like a beverage company where they drink it and the guy shits himself and we run it as a Facebook ad so you told me something I didn't know I'd never done cocaine in my

times I was more of a benzo guy but you told me that if it's cut with baby powder it gives you diarrhea cocaine squ. I didn't know this existed, and that is so fucking funny to me. Yeah. Getting cocaine diarrhea. You have to imagine a few babies. It feels good, though. It's a weird, like, honestly, you want a laxative? You're sitting next to one of the most constipated men I know.

Oh, yeah. He has problems, bro. It's been good recently. Yeah, but your whole life, you were taking dumps that looked like a, I think I've used this analogy, a can of tennis balls. Oh, God! How often do you shit?

Well, okay, so... Okay, we're going from dick, cocaine, political stuff, shit. Yeah. It's the political square. It's all American politics When the problem was bad and the so I had to go to the doctor for it once and when and the problem was at His worst I think I think I hadn't shit for a full like a little over month What are you eating?

But that was that was like That was like five four and a half years ago And then now this is back when he was on his tungsten cube died now. I say I shit like every like three days Oh, that's still healthy. Yeah, at least you're like I shit three times a day. That's also not healthy Three times a day is too many That's coke. This is coke. No, seriously, Google it. My doctor said- I have a question.

How many lines of baby powder do you do a day? Is it three? I've been sober for over a year from the baby powder. Oh, that's so good. That is good. Well, I mean, come on. I just drink a lot. We could-

Her day to shit is healthy. Thank you. Oh, you know what, too? Your alcohol product that you have created and advertised It's shares a striking similarity to grok the AI For Twitter. Oh, you got the idea. They stole the name of us because we had grog before they made grok Fucking Elon he saw grog and was like I like that name. Do you think so? Everything app, you know it even has yeah, it has a friend and that's his name.

Why does it say sauna suit? Oh, because it's out of corrected shit to suit. It's healthy to poop between three times a day and three times a week. Thank you. Oh my gosh. One more though. You're on the cusp. Wait, what was it?

It says it's healthy to poop. Well, this, I don't know. The source is good. Anywhere from three times a day to three times a week. That, what was it? It said it's healthy to poop. Well, this, I don't know. The source is good. Anywhere from three times a day to three times a week. That's what everyone... Let's fucking go. I'm healthy. That's coming from an almost poli-sci minor.

Almost poli-sci. We're the exact two ends of the spectrum? That's right. So we're the healthiest people in the room, then. Well, they're still in the middle. You think we have, like, poops? Like, weird pooping habits? I got great poops.

No, you don't. No, it's come around. I fixed it. I know you did. What were they like before? She's making, like, Jackson Poll like weird pooping habits. I got great poops. No, you don't. No, it's come around. I fixed it. No, you don't. What were they like before? He's making like Jackson Pollock paintings in the toilet. Like, dude, you open up the back of the toilet and Aiden's shit is up in there. It was rough for a couple months.

Is that just because you're sitting too far back on the seat? No, no. I had it on like the wrong sprinkler setting for a few months. You go into the kitchen and it's just coming up from the sink. Like Godric's rune and you're like, oh Jesus Christ. I didn't learn about fiber

until like, like a few years ago. Okay. It changes the game. Were you homeschooled? Like, there's so many things you learn.

Well, I didn't know what made your shits hard and then, uh, I was, uh, training for a fight

that I never ended up doing and I had a dietician. They're like, yeah, get lots of fiber. It'll help with your poo. I'm like, what? So I'd eaten fruit because I never used to eat fruit, like, ever. I'd just eat always meat and oil. So I'd always have, like, the stinkiest, like, textile wipe.

You know when you have to keep wiping? Yeah. Ever since I've been eating, like, two bananas a day, I have, like, the perfect poos. Wow. Like, the perfect poos. Like the perfect poos. Wait, you were going to fight? Yeah, I was. Who were you going to fight?

I was meant to fight Wubby. No shit. Yeah, in the original Creator Clash. And then Wubby pulled out and then wanted me to fight Internet Historian. And then I fucked my back. So thank God. Because he didn't train at all. And I trained.

I lost so much weight. I lost like 15 kilos. And that was when I told you that I was training 13 kilos? 30 pounds 35 pounds? oh shit

in like 3 weeks that's dope yeah I was jacked I had like muscles and I looked really good and then I fucked my back and I was like

went to the doctor I'm like what's wrong he's like you have sciatica and it's really bad he got two slip discs he's like stop fighting lose weight I'm like I am losing weight

he's like well lose it then exercise and I was like alright is everything weight. He's like well lose it then exercise I was like all right there being okay now. It's really good powerful now. Yeah I've been doing a lot of back exercises, but I just call his weight cuz I drink so much well the grogs good Thanks, you haven't had any I know what do you think of the peach? Do you like the peach? Uh I don't like it as much as the Mandarin. I think that's really a pair. I'll swap you I love it getting it's all good. It's that's really good. Try the pear, I'll swap you. I love it getting named. It's all good. Can someone explain to me what 6% is?

It's a lot. For a canned drink. Like, yeah. It's like relatively high. Shot and a half of vodka. How many grogs to make him kiss me, you think? Oh, like four. Four? No, not this guy. Like two. Do you like that pear better than this one? Yeah. Yeah, okay. This is good.

Can I have the gun? They're all really good. You know what's funny? Me growing up in Colorado, so every state has its own different liquor laws that dictate a lot of different things. For instance, in Colorado, you can't sell liquor in a grocery store. It has to be in a liquor store. California, you can go to the grocery store, buy your liquor, whatever. But in the grocery store or the gas station, there was minimized alcohol content in beer.

So it was 3.2%. And everywhere else, liquor store, you get 5%. And so if you like growing up, you're like, bro, I had to get some 3.2 because, you know, I had to get a guy outside the grocery store to buy it for me. And you just have to drink more, too, and pay more to get drunk. Do you guys have a high? Well, we're learning about the alcohol laws now in america because we're planning on launching there soon um and they were saying like if you partner with 7-eleven they'll put it on that it blows my mind because in australia you're not allowed to

put like alcohol in convenience stores and stuff like that so okay the way they got around it was big market chains just put a bottle right next door that are connected to the shopping centers so instead of there being aisles in the shopping center where you can buy your alcohol, if you just walk into the... They just build an add-on? Yeah, they just build an add-on to it. And it's connected too, and it's owned by the same company. Wow.

But yeah, we've learned in America... That way you only have to firebomb one building. I wish. Dude, you becoming some sort of like clandestine gang leader because of getting into the alcohol business would be so funny. I'm not kidding when I say it feels like that sometimes. We got denied by a big bottler chain in Australia because they're like, we don't want to hurt our relationship with X.

I won't say what the company was, but they pay them a certain amount of money a month to not take on competitors. Just to like, just. Non-compete compensation. Yeah. Wow. And they say it's a month to not take on competitors just to like just non-compete compensation yeah wow and they say it's a donation to them we should do that with other podcasts you guys have have crazy yeah crazy corruption here i feel like it's really bad it's not that we don't have it but i feel like it's so loud in the australian news it's a little easier to see

what was the what's your grocery chain woolsworth or something? We have Woolworths. Isn't that guy getting grilled right now? We're not in Woolworths, we're only in Coles. Woolworths sucks. Until they stop grog, then we chill. It's like if the CEO of Costco was firebombing places on the weekend. That's what I feel like it is. That's just reverse Batman. Just evil. Evil grocery store Batman. Just evil.

Evil grocery store Batman. Yeah, it's a fucked thing to get into it, and I didn't think it would be that hard getting into it, but we'll figure it out slowly. But one thing we're just very happy with is we made a good product that's not like Prime, where it just tastes like... Do you like Prime?

I have nothing to say. Last time I got into a beef with an internet guy It was stressful Rose prime I don't think I don't think you have to worry about your address getting posted The only one that people that like Prima like 12 year old kids well say they with Hey, I know you don't like your market's competitors. The difference is that the prime drinkers can stop. Yeah, that's our, that's our, that makes it seem like less of a...

Yeah, they stop when their fucking piss turns, like, bright orange. No, it's been fun to, like, just, because I got here today a little early, and the office is cool, and, like, this is an operation. It's really nice and we are cooking we don't talk about it too much um but yeah we have a lot going on behind the scenes to like keep everything running which is sick you do keep saying it like we don't have an operation we don't have an operation we literally do our studio we open a door it's like and it's a fucking gray concrete stained floor and it's the dreg heap from Dark Souls 3 of all of Ludwig shit that ever existed like

circling up into a pile where Nick Yingling sits on top of the scepter and a cardboard go join Colin and Samir I don't want to hear that sounds like what we had and it was a way easier before we started getting like organized yeah but you come in here and it's like it's just very neat Yeah, and it's nice. It's a lot of work so trust me keep the fucking Ludwig part And you if it's gone you'll miss you like man. I missed the pile. Yeah, you missed the pile But it looks like like professional But it exists in this corner of the building that and then it's like the next room is Aiden's like Aiden's working

Area my goon cave is good. Okay goon cave XS goon caves read it. Oh, yeah I got taken down. Yeah, what was a while? I Don't know because red it's gay and they're like Homophobic because the top post on that was like Saturday night with my wank buddy my goon cave It was to do jack off together. It was them in the comments defending how it's not gay Well, it's not if you're wearing the crystals. It's not yeah, they weren't wearing crystals Oh, they were wearing crystals? Goon crystals?

Yeah, J-O crystals. Pocket crystals get you halfway there, but you have to wear one. You have to wear one J-O crystal It's like this is again third thing you don't know about culture. These are resources that people will have access to without the reddit the subreddit Yeah, that's true. Which makes me a little stifling information The reddit the goon caves read it the top post was that and the second top post was by the same guy But it was three dudes this time

All in this room with like porn And then they've gone caveman style for the restroom. It's like a wallpaper of naked bitches. Me are the mans or we'll keep growing. And it's just three dudes and they're not like on office chairs. They're in fold out

lawn chairs and they're sitting down with their massive like fucking 10 inch cocks. Oh, they got hammers? Yeah, they had hammers. That's why they're taking pictures.

And that's a normal Saturday night for the dudes is like beers around the barbecue. Theirs is lube around the goon cave. Yeah, edging in the sort of Triforce.

I kind of want to try it. A goon? To cave? Well, apparently edging for eight hours straight, you feel euphoria. Like you're more, you feel like. At the bust? Like, no. I don't know if it's at the bust or if it's if you hold it for eight hours,

but maybe at the bust you feel some sort of euphoria. I have thought about it too. It's just so much damn time out of your life can you watch anything else but porn can you put on like a league game or something like that if you can stay that help take eight hours probably the idea i think is that you don't want to lose your your your bone right see if i need to wank which is really rarely i'm like how do I get this done as quick as possible? Some people make marathons out of it. Why? I think they're hobbyists. They're artisans.

It's love of the game. It's like those dudes who make shelters for you too. They go make a place out of mud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's different. You know, he could buy brick at Home Depot, but instead he makes it out of clay. He wants to find a dead tree.

I think it's like a drug addiction, because there were people on that Reddit that would call call in be like called in sick today to goon Or they'd be like on a family vacation, but bought my emergency gooning kit It's like a Fold-out tool kit, but instead tools. It's like terabytes of porn And in case there's no electricity on the camping trip,'s got a stack of magazines, a bottle of lube Dude It's fucked up

But there's still like a fire starter It's got all the things you need Dude, goon world and you get out of the cave You know, because that's where we started in caves, right? It's like, it's society exiting that goon agriculture the whole thing Right

And I think that's beautiful. I just can't imagine putting myself in the mind of a person that goes, family vacation, shorts, shirt, toothbrush, toothpaste. I've got socks and underwear. That's good. I'll bet you a couple extra. And my gooning kit. Yeah, your gooning utility belt.

It's like a breaking kit. USB-powered self-suck machine. Aquaphor. I'd love to understand the, like, effects of when you destroy, like, you don't destroy the anthill, you just kill the ants with raid of destroying their subreddit. Like, where do they all go? Because they have to disperse somewhere.

They disperse among us. Yeah, you know, like, where do they end up? They end up in the drywall. Besides 4chan and stuff. The drywall. The drywall. Yeah, road posting on other reddit. Yeah, all of a sudden, all you see more goons popping up in like the r slash gaming master race.

Yeah, it's like Elden Ring lore discussion and some guy's like, hey what are all the best female bosses you guys think? Do you guys like my room? Yeah, do you guys like my room for all the Elden Ring games that I'm playing? So just fucking Elden Ring porn. Okay, that would fit in the Elden Ring, right? If it was just all porn. R slash Ludwig Ogren. What do you think of my setup? Dude, I was trying to find a short film

that I watched like four years ago on YouTube. And there's these channels that just have a shitload of them just on like Omleto or whatever. Yeah. And you go through and I'm just scrolling through because I remember like the gist of it. I'm scrolling through and all of them that have like uh like a hot girl or like some sort of like woman in the thumbnail and it's even slightly subjective or sorry sexually subjective suggestive i smoked

weed once um it was like the views were insane and this is like short films right like but there are still people kind of scrolling through and being like, I'm going to click that one. Yeah, of course. I'm still like that on YouTube. If I'm scrolling YouTube and I see a thumbnail that's got a woman in it, I'm like, I got to check this out. You're falling for the 2011 college humor thumbnail, man.

Well, I just got to check it out because it's like reviewing this and it's just a big tittied woman. I'm like, is she actually reviewing it? And then I click it. It's not even a woman. It's just like, ah, he fucking got me. It's two guys with crystals, and they're like, yeah, unboxing the new iPad.

But yeah, I think I realized this. This was last night, and I'm like, nothing changed, man. It's all the same shit. Everything is centered around finding an identity and being horny, and Goon Caves were sort of a marriage of that, and that's what we ended up. Paint me back

simpler times bring back the reddit because that's what the guy is doing on the family vacation he's like i don't fit in with my family also i'm addicted to porn this is me this is who i am thanks for the swim guys and margaret's i'm just gonna go to my room and i got a bit of work to do don't come in for eight hours my calloused dick wearing a little carhartt hat on it like a construction worker eight hours a day you can't like you can't do it in the night because you'll be tired all day the next day right so you have to find an excuse to get away from your family for eight hours like what do you do i took on a remote job it's like this week you got you got the fourth of july and then a lot of work we give you friday off and then you get the

weekend so you just take the Friday. Every federal holiday, I think we have nine now in the U.S., is a goon day. You keep in count? Is that all you guys have? Yeah. We have nine federal holidays. We got like 20, and you can't take them away from us.

If you think your civil war was bad, if you tried to take away a public holiday from Australians, there would be war. In fact, if a public holiday lands on a Friday people will take Thursdays off That's be so they have a Thursday Don't talk shit about emu day And every time a royal family member like the king king or the queen dies, we get an extra public holiday. So when the queen died, everyone in Australia was like, Yeah, we get the king's heart birthday off now too!

Because I can't get rid of the old one! Oh my god. So every like fucking however long those fucking British bastards live for, every hundred years... Dude, you just add not... Dude, in the year 2150? Yeah, you'll have not... Dude, in the year 2150? Yeah, you'll have most of the year off. Dude, you crazy? It's going to be fucking great.

And then when they start getting rid of them, I'm telling you, there's going to be some problems here. They'll be like, you can't take the 14th Queen's fucking birthday away from us, mate. I remember her. That's un-Australian. What is Queen Elizabeth's birthday? You would know.

I don't fucking know. Well, you would know. You'd take it off, right? No, I just know when everyone, like, when I go, all go alright see you guys Friday and everyone in the office goes actually

it's the king's birthday on Friday like alright fucking see you guys on Monday and then I realized why half the fucking staff called in

sick on Thursday cause they got Friday off so their idea is they legit they'll call in sick to work the day before a public holiday

just to drag out and have like a fucking four day holiday so I was like ah so Jess wasn't sick ah old mate didn't need to take his dog to the vet it's all adding up now fuckers uh that's what we'll do uh that what was i would say like yingling uh taking days off to goon we should be doing we should be doing that at the company At the company? No at the company we say you know what Take a goon day

You've been working hard Why don't you take a goon day But you have to be gooning And you have to prove it And you have to be really careful About how you prove it You have to submit the video In the hashtag goon day slack channel

You have to upload it to uh that thing that checks your papers for cheating wait a minute this looks like an ai filter that's that's an ai dick there's six fingers on that thing yin were you submitting mid-journey goonday videos. We talked about that, man. Disgusting. Do you guys have female employees? Yeah. Yeah, one. Yeah, we got two,

so I can't have these conversations around them. Well, obviously. I mean, yeah. It's a bit different when it's like a male employee. Wait, when you say one, you're talking about mogul moves? Yeah, technically one. Off-brand. Asterisk.

Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. Do you have a working office? It's complicated, man. That's an invasive question that's complicated. Well, we have a working office here, so we have a rule that no females can come into here

because when the guys start drinking, they start talking about gooning. So, of course. That's a rule. So, of course, to change, you change the outside, don't change the inside. That makes sense. Yeah, so it's like, you change the outside, don't change the inside. Yeah, so it's like out there is professional, in here is gooning.

It's professional up there, and then this is where the male on set nudity happens. Yeah, exactly. As well as that, because I get naked while filming, I also say, girls, we put a roll door in on the set so we could roll it down. Yeah, which is pretty considerate. It's like, we don't want you to be blindsided. I think they don't care but at the same time I grew up in a house where it's like respect women heavily. Even though I joke about it.

But it's like we gotta keep that professionalism around here. I mean it's real shit because if this is someone's job and this is how they live and get money and earn a living you don't want that to be an uncomfortable place. Even on the damn cold one set. the question i was going for that was if you guys do ludicrous stuff do you have like things in place to make sure you're professional about it we have a strict rule it's like no one outside the film crew can come downstairs it's not even a woman thing it's like it's like no one come downstairs i don't know i think as soon as you get into the formality of

having like a larger, more official company around things, I think there's been there. Well, we were talking about it earlier, like the episode where Anthony got waxed. There was a very graphic view of his taint and balls and asshole. And my penis, too. And his penis. And his penis, his butt. Having the hair removed.

And we could all see it. And Yan was at the end of the table with this setup. And poor Archie our editor and our follow lawsuit No, but no hand first stuff. That's like an aggressive example, but I think when things like that come up It's like hey, this is what's gonna be happening if you're not comfortable being a part of something It's like that's totally fine. We'll get something else. We'll like work something out Yeah, cuz nobody needs to be forced into an environment one of our biggest things is uh vomit because we vomit so

much yeah eating gross shit and like drinking so much so we have a you cannot be on set if we hire someone like uh we hired someone to help us with videography stuff i'm like are you okay with vomit are you okay with nudity like this trust me this is professional we're filming youtube videos but are you okay with it? And he was like oh yeah, that's funny as fuck and we hired this guy who like I swear He must have a vomit fetish because every time we're vomiting he like gets up with a camera As close as possible like you can smell it too I'm like are you uncomfortable?

No, I'm getting a good shot I was like those are the people I need around me while filming. That's my shadow self. It's like all the opposites of me. Yeah, yeah. He takes perfect poops. That guy had the best day ever when you told him that. He's like a vomit guy, and he's like, oh, by the way. Dream opportunity.

Oh, my God. Yeah, you just need someone on set that's just ready to, like, get in there nice and close and not, like, file a lawsuit. Look, look look i'll say as much as i hate vomit i i hate missing the shot more and i think i would get in there too that's what an artist says we have um we didn't include it in the patreon or the um or the main channel thing obviously but there was like a thing where i spread my arsehole and i was like oh it looks really bad because it's max putting something in my ar ass as a joke really but then at the same time in the other shot

It's also a camera guy like right next to max with the camera Do you wash your ass before videos you don't think it's gonna be part of a day But like are you like our shoot video should video today about fucking playing board games. I should wash my ass. Oh, no. Just in case. If Max says get your asshole out, I'm like, I'm not held liable once in there. Sure, yeah.

But we've got wet wipes and bidets. It's usually relatively clean. But it's still as dark as the night sky. I need some asshole bleaching. Can't bleach that shit for Max? You're rich. I thought about bleaching my asshole. It was like a bit where I bleached my asshole,

so next time I open up my asshole, they go, why isn't it dark anymore? How often are you naked on the show? Not as much anymore, but when we started, we used to drink way more. We still drink a lot, but when our tolerance was higher, because our tolerance is pretty low now, when my tolerance was higher,

we'd always just get every video it was like every video without a doubt we'd get blackout drunk and we'd be in an uber ride home chatting to the uber driver about who they voted for this year like something political so but when we're that when we're that drunk and we're all really close friends me scott max darcy silas and roly the film people all like really close friends, which works out. Someone on set will be like, Chad, put it in your dick hole. Dude. Like do something fucked up like that. Do a little sound in for the fans.

Put the wick of the Obama candle in your dick hole. Like put the mousetrap on your dick or something like that. And I'm never the one that prompts it. And the editor's kind of edit it like it's prompted, but someone always says in the background before I do it, on your dick put up your ass and that's never left in the little demon on your shoulder he's a little ass demon so they're like keen for it i'm like all right lock the doors boys black out the curtains i'm putting my dick in it dude my my asshole it looks like You ever seen Chowder, the cartoon?

It's like that texture. Yeah, the moving texture in the back of your head. Yeah, the moving shock zone. It's like that. How do you look at your own asshole? This is a guess. I just think it's like that. Two straps.

You had to see my asshole more than any doctor. Yeah. I remember my first colonoscopy I did this week this week I don't know what prompted you to do this but we were out drinking this week but you guys got here early

to work on a project and I was out with the Aussie Melee Boys drinking and I got a text from him that's a picture of Sykuno with a mountain dew can and like this this text of like how to get mountain dew rewards for final fantasy 16 fantasy yeah and i'm like and i'm drunk and i'm like oh what do i what is this what's going on right now and he had sent a video earlier in the day of him like pissing in a latrine yeah so i went into the

bathroom and took a photo of the same video, like same angle, but my cock is just out in the picture. He used the invisible ink thing in iMessage, so I had to like swipe it. Dude, Anthony comes up to me. Thank God I can remember

that shit now. Anthony comes up to me. We're on set. And he goes, hey, check this out. He hands me a text from you with the invisible ink. And I say, can I open this in front of people? And he goes hey check this out. He has me a text from you

Can I open this in front of people he goes yeah So I start unmasking the photo and it's just your penis Message dude, it's encrypted encrypted And then all of a sudden now I'm'm getting videos of, like, three other guys pissing. Oh, yeah, Yan. Everyone just sent me their pissing. Dude, we all came to the same independent conclusion that night. Yan had filmed his piss video.

Yingling filmed his piss video. And I took that photo, all independent of one another. And then we commiserated about how we all came to the same conclusion. It must be just a guy thing, man. Like, I don't know. Do females do that stuff? I'm getting a no from the audience. No, it must be just a guy thing, man.

Dicks are funny to me. Because I have a group chat, and I was with my girlfriend at the time. I have a wow Snapchat group chat with my wow buddies. I just open up in front of her. It's like a dick Or a pair of balls or some guys strap some guy like got a pizza pocket and strapped his balls over the top of it Which can mean hello or goodbye It depends on the context It's like aloha or I love you

And I open it up in front of her and she's like are you cheating on me? I'm like no this is my wow group chat She's like I just saw a dick. And I was like, yeah. And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, we just send each other pictures of our dick and balls sometimes. It's funny. It's funny.

And she's like, but you haven't done it. I'm like, oh, I think I've done it the most. I think I'm captain of the team. Like, I constantly put my dick and balls in the group chat. Yeah, I don't know what it is.'s just so fun it is are we gay maybe we're maybe on a spectrum maybe we're like a little gay no no no well he's he's gay he's bisexual it's different you don't have your eyes it's two different mental cabinets for sure yeah it's not the gay part of your brain. Floss and penis are funny.

Our penis, mmm. We never send erect photos to each other. That's gay. Right? That's like the line. It's very different messaging. Yeah, exactly. No, that's so fucking true.

Dude, getting a pump, like getting a half chub just for your for your boys like joke to see My shit is like soft it's like it's like a that's what makes it funny Yeah So on Twitter was like it looks like a robin's egg in a thick uncompromising Water water it's like a I can't remember the call like a water thing. It's like a microscopic thing Oh water bears Explanation that was I cold plunge so so every morning when I jump in the cold plunge I'd always tell them my dick would like go up inside of me And they'll like send a picture and I sent a picture of a cock that looks like a newborn infant's penis

And they're like, yeah, it looks like a water bear. Yeah, it looks like your belly button. You could also take Chad's penis into space and it'd be totally fine Yeah, it's true I've never done it What so you don't get to talk cuz his shits fucking it. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't the evening yeah rock climber i know the picture you're thinking of this is the one of me in the chair in the desert right no i'm thinking the one you just sent me oh that one why the fuck you got some famous ones yeah he's got white uh white tape on it the one that i'm thinking of is but i'm i it's when i had a mustache that i grown out the only time i had a mustache in my entire life and i'm sitting in like a lawn chair in a towel because i had just showered and i'm just like posing like this in the desert so your

initial reaction is to just look at me my friend's so happy pan down you see my in the towel you know someone i was talking to recently they got a circumcision uh recently oh at old, like an adult human being. Why? Because apparently there was like a pain problem and it was the only way

to solve like this like sort of pain. I never understood because I haven't had a foreskin, so. Can't you just peel it back? But you don't, are you circumcised?

Yeah, not very well. The rabbi was like drinking, I think. Because he cut it on a funny angle. So next boxes come with red ring. I'm unexpectedly

outnumbered on this show. Yeah, welcome. Welcome to being the minority. Can you not pull it back and sell everything? Change that. No, you can pull it back. America. Shoot it right off. Like my father did. Like Homer Simpson when he gets his gun. How much money would you get to be circumcised?

Would you get circumcised for a million dollars? Oh, dude. Yeah, you got it, right? Don't do it, though, because apparently you lose feeling. But I don't know what the feeling I'm missing is. I like my peen. What about $10 million? Oh, there it is. It's like we're colorblind in the penis.

I'd rip my dick off for $10 million. That is not a crazy number for you to achieve. I would physically rip off my dick. Oh, yourself? This is one guy who wants to rip his dick off really bad, waiting for somebody to ask him. And then I saw a new Reddit called Dick Ripoff Reddit, where it says videos of people ripping their dicks off.

Tried again today, hurt real bad. I thought, can't stop. I wonder if you could, like, get someone, like, cause obviously, you know when you can't like make yourself bleed if you push down but someone can do it really easy like biting a finger off

what if someone could just like yank it off yank it off that was in Sin City and also the opposite in Casino Royale

where he swings the thing on James Bond's balls that's it I have not seen the guy from Death Stranding beats Daniel Craig's balls with like a sock

full of oranges. Really? I heard it's like a lizard and it just grows back. Also, if you cut it off, you get a sword after. Do you guys have any sex injuries? The only thing that's ever come close is where you're trying to

it comes out and you gotta get it back in there, but you do it with some gusto and you just hit the wall the good old penile fracture and then like a spiky text bubble that says bonk

comes out I have a really bad one I slept with this girl and nice it was and I didn't know the lights were off

and it was it was a bit it was a bit red your dick was red? No. Oh, I see. I get it. I get it.

In the most respectful way possible. But it was all good. So I went to clean it off. And I used like, you know those surface wipes for kitchens? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I used those on my dick to clean it off after sex. Dude.

Did you have cuts? Like a used one? No, no. Like a fresh one out of the thing. But they have bleach in them yeah so the next morning I woke up

I'm like oh my dick is sore did I get AIDS or something I was like I was like super afraid of like an STD I really overnight those these days

so I was like I was like googling I was like do I have to clap or something yeah and I and she was still over

so I asked her I'm like have you been tested because I have like do you have anything she's like, have you been tested? Because I have. Like, do you have anything? She's like, no, I've been tested. It's the next morning. And I was like, the tip of my penis is hurting so much.

And that's where it started. And then around the rest of my penis, it all started peeling like dead skin. So she never spoke to me again because she thought I wasn't interested because I was like, oh, no, not today. And it was too embarrassed to say it to her her but I was peeling dead skin off around my penis and balls molting like a snake yeah dude it would look like if you took it all in one piece it'd look like a condom it would yeah exactly and I just slapped that shit back on and I'm ready to go again but I went to a doctor when it started peeling and I was like am I dead dog like what

std is this I was like so convinced I'm like what fucking std is this and I was like, am I dead, Doug? Like, what STD is this? I was like, so convinced. I'm like, what fucking STD is this? And he's like, dude, these are chemical burns. I was like, from what? I've never dipped my,

I, I, he's like, do you clean your shower naked? I was like, no, I'm going to clean it. I don't clean my shower. And he was like,

he's like, have you gotten bleach on your dick? I was like, no. He's like, okay, well, we'll run some tests

and here's a cream to put on until then, go home, come back tomorrow. I went home and I like, was wiping down my kitchen. i was like no he's like okay well we'll run some tests and here's a cream to put on until then go home come back tomorrow i went home and i like was wiping down my kitchen i was like hang on wait a minute i go home i start i start wiping my dick off again and um yeah he i i just like okay i figured out the problem now and then he calls me the next day like in a panic thinking he's found some like rare like skin SCD condition on my dick. I was like oh no I figured it out I was using Clorox wipes on my dick. It's crazy that I feel like they're not that hardcore. Like what why did it affect you so bad?

I feel like I could Clorox wipe my dick right now. And it'd be fine. I can't get some. Top top. Yes. Why would you want that in your life? Cause I think I can handle it. He thinks he can hack it. He's like yeah I can tank it. All I'm saying is there's just no

reward. They're just Clorox wipes. I think if he had one that's like hybrid. It's bleach. It sits on your dick after you've wiped it. I'm the goat. Yeah either way. Um. You keep any of the skin like gold member? What? Gold member. You put it in a little you put you it's in a little case you see Austin Powers Yeah, I was just like peeling it off in the shower and throwing it down the drain. How long ago is that?

Like seven eight nine nine years ago. That was it was a long time ago That was a lesson that was it back when my dick worked little too old for grog but You have to drink one the next time you have a drink. That's fair, I think, actually. You 100% have to drink one. Look, I am the youngest member on this podcast. Welcome. That's it.

I'm getting more grogs. You want another one? You want another one? Okay. What did that say? 30 minutes left. Oh, okay. You guys have timers?

Yeah, yeah. We go an hour and a half. One second. Five more grogs, please. Can I get a water in that? Five more. And five waters. I can't.

I'm not even done. Shut up. Stop talking and finish your grog. Two glasses of milk, please. Sorry, is there two glasses of milk? I asked you earlier upstairs what I didn't get. We all started talking about something else, but I was going gonna ask what you're most proud of content wise and you said it was um the remote pub video yeah what was it was that uh we did a video where we went to the most remote pub in

australia and it took one plane one chartered plane and then a fucking long ass drive and it was like on a cattle farm really in the middle of nowhere it was just like this pub and they usually have like one or two people there because all the um all the ranches around it they have a pot it might be an australian thing i don't know if they're seeing america but they need they need alcohol and someone to drink sure in the middle of all these massive like cattle ranches there's like a pub right in the middle of them and eron from each ranch comes to the pub and they drink on the weekends and we went there and it was the busiest day that they've ever had because it was someone's birthday so other people from the ranches that were even further away that had their own pubs drove to this pub to drink at it what'd you like most about it just like like I know we just did another video

that involves traveling but I'm not going to spoil, but it was just like we're traveling with all the boys We're getting our dicks out And it's like it almost feels like a holiday in a way And it's a good and bad thing because I always feel like you're gonna get a camera I'm enjoying the view but it's fine But those are the best videos and the most proudest because I feel like they're very high production considering how small like an editing staff is And stuff like that. I feel like that what we made

Prezzo edited that one as well. That what we made was like something that you'd like watch on TV. Okay. So that's why I felt like it was good. They're probably the most fun

for you to just watch in general too, right? Yeah, because it's like reliving like a holiday and it's like really cool videos. That and yeah, those are the videos that I'm like super proud of

and alcohol videos also like super funny because when we get blackout drunk we start saying really fucked up things but every now and then that fucked up thing can be left in the video so yeah no the traveling videos we want to do more and we're trying to just chuck them on the table

yeah it's okay sometimes thank you yeah I'm inspired I don't know maybe I'm just and we'll try to... Just chuck them on the table. Yeah, it's okay. Sometimes. Just chuck them here. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I'm inspired. I don't know. Maybe I'm just going through... I'm 34, so I think about death a lot now, though.

But I came here, and I was like, this office is great, and the videos, you guys are just doing the stuff you want, and it seems fun and interesting and still fresh. You've been doing it for so long.

Yeah. There's some things that, like, feel like we're hitting a wall because we're, like, repeatedly doing it because it's popular. So, like, one of those was, like, ordering stuff online was, like, one of our popular, like, just getting drunk and then with a credit card just buying random stuff, ads, Etsy videos, Fiverr stuff. Yeah. with a credit card just buying random stuff, ads, Etsy videos, Fiverr stuff. Yeah. But we've tried to do one like a while ago and we're like, yeah, it's not funny the third time around. So now we've got Luke and Darcy who are helping us with videos.

So we kind of give them an idea and they workshop and put it together. So now that we've got like a fresh set of minds on it, we kind of don't get in our own head about it because it's something that's fresh that's being delivered to us. So, yeah, we did it all like ourself between me Scott and max for the first three years It was just us arranging the videos putting together and making it happen But now that we've got like two fresh set of like brains that don't get in there and say like think it's repetitive to do Stuff for us. It's made it so much better. Yeah, like so much better. Do you want the one it gets you out of your own head?

Even the Mandarin? Yeah, so that's Make you happy does it make you happy that it's turned into something like this versus you You know versus you vomiting on each other on like a twister mat. I think it's the same thing Yeah, it feels like the same thing like that's that's why it's a good It's a bit more upscale now because we have like production guys lighting and it's not just us in our yard but because these people the people that we film with are so close to us now and they're our friends it just feels like we're shooting a home video so some some videos are a bit like grindy but we're gonna phase all those videos out now but it's just like we get together once a week and we have a fucking fun time we all drink and

we usually do it on a friday so if we finish early we can go out for dinner drunk after that you know go fucking gallivants around town being nuisance while we're drunk so it just feels like every friday when we film it's just like let's get fucking drunk let's get fucking drunk ask the bouncer at the karaoke venue if he has any quests you'll know a funny story yeah that b That Bounce of the Morgz in Melbourne now and recognize me. No fucking way. Yeah. That happened like a year ago, a year after it. Holy shit.

The guy like came up to me and was like, you're that dude from the karaoke that was on drugs. I was like, no, I was just really drunk. And he was like, yeah, man, I had your back. I was making sure that you wouldn't even know you're on drugs. I was like, I wasn't on drugs. Did we ever tell that story? Yeah. I had your back. I was making sure that you wouldn't even know you're on drugs. I was like I wasn't Do we have a tell that story yeah You know what's funny is that when we did the one with you guys last time you were so fried. Yeah, you're fried

Yeah Sick and in pretty low energy cuz I just came from like a three-day drinking session It was a bit of a bender weekend. You guys wouldn't know cuz you don't fucking drink pussy I know what it though. Look, I'm your you're keeping on it's like I had a great I was I Was drunk at karaoke. No one was as drunk as mango. That was the drunk Was so much fun. Why? Because we both enabled each other? Yeah.

It was hilarious. I want to drink with him one more time before he dies. Because if he's drinking like that, I don't think he's got long. You'd be surprised. Really? Dude, he's biking 16 miles a day right now. He's biking 16 miles. He's playing Melee the best he's ever played.

But he also drinks a lot still. Thanks. So he found the- see that? He strangled the fucking demon. He strangled the demon and put him in a headlock. Yeah, he put him in a headlock and he was like, I can only get blackout drunk after I've played. Cause he- cause the last Smash tournament we went to, he was drunk.

He was drunk playing. That is normal. Is it? Yes. Less normal this year. I think- I think- ebbs and flows for him. He has years where he's trying harder and putting more effort in. This year, he really, really wants to do well,

and he'll play the tournament out pretty sober. Also, he got drunk and convinced me he was poor, and I felt bad. I was like, man, these Smash players. I was like, these Smash players. He's the most well-off. He's the one guy who- I was buying him drinks because he told me he was fucking poor. What a scam, dude.

I didn't know too much about Mango at the time. I was like, oh, I know Mango, but I never knew he streamed and had a big viewership and stuff like that or a big YouTube. And I was like, oh, oh, that's okay, bro. Like, our treat. Dude, I think yeah that's fucking good like no I was like he's actually he's making you buy him beers and he has 10,000 twitch subs what a fucker what a fucker he got me good this is his favorite bit he'll like hit me up because he likes getting tattoos with me he'll hit me up and be like yeah can you pay I don't I only have

like 400 in my checking account I'm just like no you don't I only have like $400 in my checking account. And I was like, no, you don't. I know you don't. Yeah, everyone has a mango tab. Fuck out. I'll get him back. Next time I'll get him double drunk. Ludwig owed him like 10 grand just from like doing bets on stream over years.

And also he won a tournament that he never got paid out for because he didn't like invoice us. Of course, he was too drunk. Throughout years, Ludwig like grinded it down to get even. And it just never even changed hands. He was just like, yeah, he just did that. Like the mental math.

He's like, OK, we're actually even now because you've lost this amount of bets with me on stream or whatever. And so, yeah, we went from owing him around five figures to being even Without ever I I owe him money right now. You owe him star leak money I haven't paid him out because he only wants it in cash, and I never oh god It's so fucking you want you to drive it to his house like it's fucking deliver it. He owes me 750 Paid for his tattoo do we all have our goat man? I know I YouTube I was me money. Yeah tattoo do we all have our goat man i know a youtuber owes me money yeah yeah this youtuber owes chad money i took him to the casino once pick one pick the name of the youtuber or the amount he owes you but only say one amount okay what's the amount uh i took him to the casino and i fronted him and he said he'd get me back i haven't seen him in two years oh my god it's

14 000 us us dude because i was winning we went in with like two grand each and I was like I was winning every time He lost was my but I'll take some of mine I'd like I wrote it down a notepad and then I was like this is how much I mean I DM to do it So I got the DM to prove how much he owes me Well, I'll never see that money again dude. Holy fuck. Yeah, when's the last time you hit him up? I haven't hit him up cuz I feel like that's rude fuck. Yeah.

When's the last time you hit him up? I haven't hit him up. Cause I feel like that's rude. We're the same. Yeah. It's, it's a gambler thing. It's like, you feel like it'll get to you eventually.

Yeah. Well, he did promise me he'll pay me back when we go to Vegas. But, but I said, yeah, let's do that when we go to Vegas together. But I said to myself,

I'm not going to fucking Vegas. I'll never come back. You hit me up. That was the last. We almost went to Vegas. We almost went. That was when I was in LA for two days

and I think you were busy or I moved my flight a day early because I spent one day in LA. I was like, I can get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

So if I go to Vegas, I'm going there with $100,000 and I'm either turning it into a million or I'm throwing myself out of the blog Dude, that's what you were telling me the last time you're messing me like yo We'll go on a boat and like gamble on this boat, and I'm like I don't want to go

Better odds on the cruise ship. I don't want to go broke and I'm in the fucking If you jump into the water off those cruise ships is no way you survive If you jump into the water off those cruise ships, there's no way you survive. It's a full-on journey. We could run it up in the Ozarks on the casino boat in the show. I said, because I haven't really gambled for a really long time, I kind of cut it out of my life because I kept winning.

But, like, fuck, fuck. Let me explain why I stopped. One night, I ran it up. And I won't say how much, but I ran it up. i won't say how much but i ran it up and because i didn't leave i lost it all and it was a lot of money it hurts i've been there too not probably as much as you but like i still i still broke even on the night but it felt so bad knowing that i had because if you go in there one night you lose 500 bucks that's fine oh whatever but if you go in there for a 12 hour sesh while you're on cocaine and you run it up

to the roof and you have I had literally $50,000 in my hand cash you get hit with the men in black switch and all of a sudden

you're back to zero and I lost it all and because of that I said I could have walked out of there with 50 grand but I didn't so anytime I gamble

which is very rarely now I have like a 2 hour limit on it and to go in there no matter what I have after that two hours, I'm fucking out of there. So that was the event that hurt you. Yeah, because I never had that much money in my hand before. I had $50,000 in my hand from, I think, it would have been like two grand I took it. What a run-up.

And I had it in my hand, and I was looking at it. I have a photo of it, which is even worse. Oh, God. All the plastic money, and it's all heavy. It's like the Facebook profile of someone who's gone now. It's kind of weird. Remembering my 50 racks. And out of guilt as well, I was like, man, that $50,000 could have done so much for my life. And out of guilt, I then went and made a charity donation to make myself feel better. I did the same thing I lost five figures or something in Vegas and out of guilt I paid off my student loans

Oh wow, thank you to the government Yeah, right Really should've done that before I know, but I was just paying the student loan Don't they get interest as well? Not if you pay it all in a big sum I paid it all off, It was a pretty low amount. That amount of money in my hand was like my yearly mortgage repayment,

and I had it in my hand. I felt so bad that I went and donated money to a charity. I was like, could have donated that $50,000 to a charity. So out of guilt, I went and donated money. I was like, and that was when I stopped drugs. But when I came here, I think it was the second thing you said to me. It was like, we're going to Crown. That was two years ago. No, you said that today.

That was a joke. Wait, so you don't like... That was like the third thing he asked me was, do you do cocaine? He's living vicariously. I revoked all my rewards at casinos. So I used to have rewards at every casino, like the highest membership you could have because I'd just go there and I'd like it wasn't just me it's because I take a group of youtubers with me that all bring money so they all gave

me like a special card comp you and then when I stopped going over a year ago and I stopped gambling such a look at me like where are you where are you and then like six months ago they call me like so because I haven't gambled heavy in like two years like sorry we're gonna revoke your membership because you're not coming in anymore I was like I was like, I was like, I was like, thank God. I like hung up that phone, like kind of sad because I don't get free hotels anymore. But I was, that was another thing.

They were mad because I'd always just claim the free hotels all the time. So like every like couple of weeks, I'd like go there and like chill and use the hot tub, sauna, gym and stuff like that. Yeah. But not gamble. But not gamble because they'd get me there.

But I have the mental strength now to not gamble so they and then they looked at my like 30 hotel stays over the which probably cost them 15 grand which is free food free drinks i go eat at the restaurant for free so i got i i won money off of them and i got free hotels and then when they revoked that thing i hung up the the phone like, oh, well. Yeah. Fuck it. I'm up. I'm up. Yeah.

But a lot of people don't get as lucky as I do. You rarely win those battles. Yeah, I quit while I was up. But I could have been more up. But I quit while I was fucking up. And now if I ever gamble, I go down to the peasant room where the odds are worse. I don't get the special treatment anymore. I've taken like a couple hundred bucks, 500 bucks.

A couple hundred bucks. A normal amount. I figured out it's way funner if you're with your boys and you're doing $5 bets and getting free drinks. 100%, yeah. And you're just dragging that

for the rest of the night. At TwitchCon this year, I was sitting at a table with like a bunch of streamers and I ran up like $7,500. It's like the most I've ever made gambling. That's like the best feeling is going in there to a small amount and

Running it up getting free drinks and leaving and be like Rocky music's playing your fuck everyone's slapping five It feels weird when you do everything right like I like won the money and then I walked and then I had this weekend I'm like okay. Well, I'm walking and I'm up and I beat the casino But now all that one just pays for the weekend. Do I go back and play the game? What do I do? That's what I do. The new mental that we have with my friends that I go there and gamble, because we used to do big gambling, now we do small,

is if someone wins on the table, it pays for dinner. So we walk out of the casino and we go, hey, boys, got free drinks, dinner's paid for, we all go get a fucking meal together and we're in bed by 10 And it's like the I know maybe I'm getting all but it's like you're so you're so Normalized I had my D gen period Wow and now and now changed what happened in your life One bad night at cocaine Wow So funny is you that it was literally I think the gambling not yeah

It was like it was like the realization that like fuck that her also It just sucks being awake at like like 10 o'clock in the morning the sun's out when was that Over a year ago. Yeah, I messaged him like I don't know come months ago. I'm coming Australia. He just replies bring 10 grand 10 grand. So I was just like, what is this shit? Why is this misleading? This is so misleading. I want to see if someone will do it. Like, I would be like, no, we're not doing that.

She will do it. You bring 10 grand? I will need a loan and I will pay because I do pay. He pays. You're going to do a 10 grand? Hang on, let me call my guy. Or we can do 20. I do cross.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me get my guy. There was just like a thing that flicked in my brain that was like vices about kind of like you

like when did you quit drugs it was about 12 years ago and yeah I had one terrible night yeah one terrible night

and I was like it's either this or I blow my head off yeah mine wasn't like a one terrible night it was like

it was like three consecutive like mediocre nights in a row yep I was like ah it's not really doing it for me I'd rather be at home playing fucking video games and like i also just acquainted

to like hang around with the wrong people and people yeah i mean that's also that's a hard part about changing that lifestyle i've talked about it before is like you gotta kind of change your friends or your friends have to change for you i was literally about to say that i was like but because they're all such supportive friends when I was like, guys, we can't live like this. They were like, yeah, fuck it. And that's how you know. Wow.

And they all like on the drop of a dime like me, we all stopped doing drugs. Really? That's rare. And it's like, it's almost like a challenge between all of us. Like who's going to crack? And no one's cracked, which is like awesome. And instead of like going to the casino at 11 p.m. and staying there until sunup, we go, oh, if we want to go to the casino, let's get 200 bucks each and we'll go on there 3 p.m

In the afternoon and we'll gamble for two hours to five and if we're up we pay for dinner and drinks And we'll go have dinner to like six To have been a degenerate gives you the perspective of what it's like to not you know Exactly the rules you need to like be normal and have a normal fun night and it's so much better day drinking and then being in bed at like 10 and you wake up after a full night's sleep before noon yeah yeah and you wake up and you're like you're a little bit hung over you hit the electrolytes have a like a greasy breakfast and you've still got the whole day ahead of you yeah waking up at 5 p.m or 6 p.m the next day losing the whole day ahead of you waking up at 5pm or 6pm the next day losing the whole day

is like the worst so I lived it I fucking experienced it I got you know I got that fucking like and now I can tell people the stories

and all that shit I got all that I survived and now you're almost 30 and your life is forfeit thanks you're 34

34 yeah and that's why he's thinking a lot about death it gets worse but you two are still young and healthy forfeit. Thanks. You're 34. 34. Yeah. And that's why he's thinking a lot about death. It gets worse. But you two are still young and healthy. Oh yeah. Drink and do cocaine. Before you run out of time. I wouldn't recommend. And luckily they're both in this drink. And you can have both.

You can have it. And also join the what is it? Grog Gambling Club. Dude, you should let us shoot your American commercial. Yeah, I trust you. That'd be lit. Yeah, we kill that. Yeah, let's do it.

Okay, wait a minute. You've been saying some fucked up things about this. Am I sure I want you to film it ahead? Oh, yeah, we're going to film it. No, no, we know a great children's casting agency. Yeah, we're going to film it at a children's hospital. Chalk and grog. It's Patch Adams, but instead of Robin Williams, it's Chad.

And he's like the clown that goes and visits all the dying kids, but he gives them grog instead. It makes them fucking feel a lot better. Although morphine is lit. But, yeah, I don't know, getting old. But, like I said like i will say one thing to people like don't think it's cool trust me i lived it it wasn't cool it's hard right you're like it's it's fun to talk about and all this shit but like what what you rarely end up talking

about because it's not as fun is like the really fucking bad times yeah you know the misery and like the anxiety that you just want to like cry and feel like shit i was crying i was like i'm crying i'll be like why the fuck am i crying it's really fucked like when you watch a movie or someone that has like uh the come down the next morning and they like feel like shit it's so fucking real and the only way you avoid it is by doing more and that's what kills you so cycle i've done it i'm happy i'm healthy i'm way healthier my back doesn't hurt anymore i've lost a bit of weight my penis works better wow i don't believe that i'll show you but yeah much better much

better but you guys are young drink a grog that's the tagline you guys are young. Drink a grog. Drink your grog. That's the tagline. You guys are young. Drink your grog. Me and you are basically the same age. How old are you? I'm about to be 28. Yeah, but I've lived. You have been spiritually older.

I'm physically older, too. You have a chasm between me and you. I'm 27. You have like a dog years thing going on with all the alcohol. Yeah. You have to add a multiple. I'll never quit drinking. Like, drinking is just the best.

As long as you've got the demon by the neck, and you can control that demon. If you've got both hands on it. If you can get two hands on the demon my demon got a vein in it I've never spit on it I've never done anything like regretfully bad while drunk I've never like that can't be true I don't believe that at all

like not regretfully yeah but I've never done anything like life changing like like terribly bad things while drunk yeah yeah the worst thing I've done while drunk is like Throwing up in the bottom of the shower or said to a friend like man your girlfriend's hot Drunk called my ex-girlfriend, you know, but I've never and I feel like I even have more of a grip on it now Where I'm like blackout drunk like ex-girlfriend. I'm'm like ah fuck that bitch I'm gonna go watch Rick and Morty

wow I'm going to my goon cave I'm safe in there the demons really by the next you know the demons gooning too what's up bro here we're equal that's the court but yeah I

just feel like if there's nothing in my life if there's ever something in my life drugs anything gambling it's not even just related drugs if there's nothing in my life if there's ever something in my life drugs anything gambling it's not even just related drugs if there's anything

in my life where I do it and I can't like and I can I know in my head to continue is a bad idea but I continue

I just that's cut out of my life like completely like yeah it's good control you got a good framework to be able to do that 29

oh 27 I still want to I still want to it's about 27 plus when everything like relies on you around you like employees that's a big difference You got a good framework to be able to be 29 or 27. I saw when I was about 27 plus When everything like relies on you around you like employees, that's a big difference And I started thinking like well if I fuck up my life, it's not fucking up my life It's by fucking up other people's lives around me and that's when they're like you gotta take on their responsibility of yeah doing that

I didn't mean to get so deep. No Doing that I didn't mean to get so deep Delicious alcohol has made me really like alcohol. It's made me insightful That's good, right I'm learning a lot which one now which one do you like now? About a cold can man you just want to crack it and put it in you It's just a scene. He has an excuse. He has an excuse. He went through it. You haven't been through it yet You can't tell me you don't like it till you do it. It's energy too? What where? It says energy What does that mean? What does that mean in Australia? Oh that just means like like calories. Oh Wow, you don't read the nutrition facts on shit You don't have to print them in Australia on the cans, but we do it anyway. Oh. Yeah. Wow. You don't read the nutrition facts on shit.

You don't have to print them in Australia on the cans, but we do it anyway. Oh, really? Yeah, just because we don't want people thinking we got, like, fuck shit in it. Yeah, like Prime. Like Prime, yeah. Like chalk from a chalkboard. Have you had your grog? I'm telling you.

But, yeah, I'm very proud of it, and it's going very well. Dude, we should make a drink. Not alcohol. You guys don't drink. Yeah, not alcohol. I don't need competitive. I'm very proud of it, and it's going very well, and we should drink You know I want to fight your mate. I want to beat them you want to Have a stranglehold Your my mate yeah to tea yeah, it's it? It's like a sweetened, well, Guayaki's the company. They make a Yerba Mate drink.

Guayaki, who they own by. We have to go all the way to the top, all the way to the vice president. Dude, I bet it's just them. Will anything beat Arizona iced tea because they're a dollar? It depends. That's just sugar water, right? And it kind of all is, but. Guayaki has a stranglehold on, like,

the market of people who like oat milk in their coffee. Like, if they drink tea, it's like... Is it unsweetened tea? No, it's sweeter and sweetened. It's cane sugar, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that is good. Yeah, it is good.

It's fucking amazing. We have a yard... How about a yard rosemary cracker? For, like, cheese. Jesus. You cannot call Eden that. I can, and I have, and I probably can. I'm going to give you a product that's highly profitable and would match your theme. Okay.

A barbecue. A barbecue? Wait, we make a barbecue? Yeah, you make a barbecue. Wait, I feel like it is. Like the grill or the sauce? Yeah, like the grill. Like a little, what are those little ones called?

Those, uh. Oh my god. Like a camping grill. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I mean. Like a little, what are those little ones called? Oh, my God. Like a camping grill. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I mean, we did a camping chair. We made like a foreman. We didn't bring in a George Foreman business.

Yeah, George Foreman, little George Foreman. I boxed George Foreman, and he's like 80 now. Yeah. Right? I trained for the fight. I don't know. Coughing baby kills him. I don't think so.

Guys big. George Foreman? I would kill him. He's 80. Yeah, yeah. I killed George Foreman. I would kill him. He's 80. I killed George Foreman by giving him COVID in the boxing ring. Yeah. I cough on him. You're coughing between punches.

He's like, why are you doing that for? He's like hacking the boys. I'm using toxic moves. By the way, the guy I was supposed to fight for chess boxing had a heart attack. He's okay now. I hope everything's okay.

Thank God. Stock guy. I hope you're ever, you're okay. But it was, it was crazy. I had a heart attack. He's okay now. I hope everything's okay. Thank God. Stock guy, I hope you're okay, but it was crazy. The stock guy had a heart attack? Yeah, dude. He's young. Oh, he's 38. He looks young.

Young for a heart attack. He looks young. It is young for a heart attack. I hope everything's okay, but I was like, holy shit. In a way, I'm glad that it didn't

end up happening. I would love to do chess boxing, but A, I don't know how to play chess. I'll teach you. I've tried. I'll teach you.

A lot of people do. If you can play League of Legends, you play chess. Same thing? Yes. I've memorized all 218 champions' fucking moves. Equally as toxic chat. They're about the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's real toxic shit. More racist than chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's literally a flag next to your name. So you can tell where people are from. Or you can set it to whatever you want. I might need to stop playing chess. People from Ireland are the meanest.

No. Wasn't the meme that Tyler Wong got made fun of for his chess skills and then he got like top 100 or something like that? He grinded to an insane rank for an adult man. He's not top 100, but he's in like the top 1% of the website, which is a very different thing. Top 100 in chess would be unbelievable. It would be like impossible. He would have

probably broken a record that would never be broken ever if he did that. But still not to say what he did is super impressive. Yeah. Because just through sheer will power and obsession. That's gamer mentality. Dude, the craziest stat about Tyler1 that I think about all the time is that he only wins 51% of games.

But that's all you need as long as you're playing 18th games an hour. It speaks to how much he's playing because of how fast he got there. If you think about he only wins 51%, he plays every minute of every day. It's crazy. Yeah, dude. And he's a dad now. Yeah. There was a thing where he like eight or nine hours a day

And they're like, oh, what are you doing for the rest of time? I'm like fucking playing off street like yeah, it's a stream and he keeps playing counts that stream him playing Yeah, cuz I can be a spectator's guy. He's a he's a lifting playing chess for 12 hours And he was doing a workout stream while playing chess as well. I remember that. That's crazy. He's mid-maxing, and that's one other unhealthy obsession I had to get out of my head. What, mid-maxing? Like mid-maxing games. Oh, games? Like, wow.

Yeah, yeah. Games were not concepts, right? Like, let's say your game was fitness. Do you think you could still apply that thing? Oh, fuck no. Okay. It's something about games that makes it like, oh, I can just eat my food while playing. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't do that while working. I think I'm, I, my, like, addiction to playing chess is worse than playing Melee ever was, for sure. You, I, it is crazy. You get into a chess hole sometimes. There's something about just, like, how the access, like, any time you press play, you are instantly playing, and there's never a moment that will not be true.

Whereas, like, Melee is not like that. Like, Melee is, like, there's kind of, like, layers to having to play that game. It's interesting because as far as Melee goes, it's better at fulfilling that than a lot of games are, like, in terms of the time that a game takes so you can justify queuing. But chess is, like, the peak of that mountain. But, like, Melee gets exhausting. You play for two hours,

especially getting older, it's like, I'm a little sweaty. I'm a little like, damn, I'm intense for two hours. Your hands are hurting, your sweat.

My hands are hurting. Chess is just, dude, it's like using a computer. I think that's why I fell in love with WoW was because it was like one raid lockout,

and I would like, but the preparation for it and the conversations and the discussion you have to have for it and the conversations and the discussion you have to have for it draws out I kind of didn't realize that yeah there's a lot of prep going in there we got a season off you put your penis in the group chat yeah you say we got we all do our down between every dick pic was strategy you have to throw off if like Russian intelligence is trying people

don't know people don't know this publicly because we've only spoken about it on my Patreon, but our guild was number one. It's really rare for an Australian to get our guild in Season of Discovery got number one for speedruns during... For Season of Discovery? Yeah, for Phase 2. Holy shit. Which is really impressive.

I don't tell people about my WoW life because it was really unhealthy. Yeah. Because we'd raid on five different characters and do speedruns. Oh, my God. But we did a Patreon podcast on our Patreon where I brought my guildies in unhealthy yeah but um because we'd raid on like five different characters and do speed runs but we did a patreon podcast on our patreon where i brought my guildies in and we all got drunk and we talked about we're like bringing up our logs and stuff but we all quit as well as like when we all stopped doing drugs we all quit like you quit wow except because that was recent wow

speedruns weren't the same without the cocaine but we but we were playing more than just sod we're playing like retail and Classic as well. Really? Yeah, we're doing everything. So we just made a rule where we were like, we can do one thing now and we can do it casually. And we got number one in our speedrun and we held it for ages and then we lost it and we're like, we're done.

We were Australian Guild and we got number one for speedrunning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long is the speedrun? In Sod, you can do them in like 30 minutes. Yeah, Season of Discovery is like a beta version of new ideas they want to try out for a while. And it came out a couple months ago. Your guild should fly out to our speedrunning event in America.

And do a race. If I told them that, they would all start doing cocaine again. They would want to do it. Maybe not. That was that's 50 just an example of what we did on Wrath launch

because we all wanted to be the first people in Wrath lurching the clear raids we booked an Airbnb with 10 of us out of 20 people for the raids

we booked 10 of us some people flew from Singapore to come with it were you doing 25s? we were doing 25s yeah but we only 10 people

came to the Airbnb all the raid leaders tanks and healers and some of the DPS, we all went to an Airbnb in the peninsula, not the peninsula, down near the hot springs, down south. Booked out this massive luxury Airbnb with eight bedrooms, hot tub and stuff so we could take proper breaks. And in the middle of the room of all of us playing was just a pile of cocaine. Dude.

Dude. That's how they recorded songs for the deaf. And for 48 hours straight, we had a book for a week. But for the first 48 hours, no one ate. No one slept. No one drank fucking water. It was just cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. Yeah.

And a bunch of us were world first. Not world first, but were like first as a group to hit level 80 and then after two days we're in the raid clearing it so you just chewed

through Northrend in two days yeah and then you what you did I guess not no in the first two days your gear sucks too

because you can't do dailies yeah in the first in the first two days sorry we we leveled and cleared the raid yeah so before we went to sleep

all our heroic lockouts were done all our gear was mid max on two characters, and we had cleared two raids That's that's beautiful. That's insane that that's what it takes Guy who's like has a group of friends who's like kind of likes wow? Group that's outpacing you up against yeah, you're up against. That's the Mr. Beast. He's the Mr. Beast of like, wow. You said no. Because like.

My concept to that is we needed it because we're all in our 30s. You got one last row. No, we needed the pile of cocaine. We're not 20 anymore. We can't survive off energy drinks. We need cocaine. So that's how we did it um and yeah we cleared it and everyone like who are these fucking people and it just feels so great like knowing like that

i have like an internet presence and like all these people and wow i have no idea who i am yeah it's cool i'm just like this like this warrior on a fucking like server who is who is throbbing williams 69 on the computer board? Did you finish Icecrown and stuff and then just end it? We ended it older because we held really hot, but we didn't want to play ICC. The intervention was around older. Okay. All right, guys.

I think it's our time. I think it's our time to say goodbye to all of you. All right. Thanks for letting us use the set, too. Thanks for having me and letting me just... I don't know how much of it you can use, but. We can use it. It does sound like a giant ad for Grog.

I promise it's not, and that's why we keep saying it's a child-only ad. I'm out of here. It's not. Do you have a kid in the home? They love Grog. All right. Well, thanks. Well, thank you, Chad. And we'll see you on the Patreon. And don't cut me off because that hurts my feelings. All right. Well, thank you, Chad. Uh,

and we'll see you on the Patreon and don't put me off because that hurts my feelings. Bye.