The Yard - Ep. 159 - We're making The Yard Cypher...

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

This week, the boys talk about the AMP cypher, going to a V-Tubers birthday party, and how Ludwig went to Paris to commentate Olympic Chessboxing!

I'm gonna get into character. I'm Darjeet. Like everyone knows in the yard I actually do a character. We all do characters here in the yard. It's like Darjeet, bro. I mean my real name is Richard Green the yard. It's like allergy, bro. I mean, my real name is Richard Green. Yeah. You it's great. You also you're a staunch libertarian.

Sovereign citizen. You are sovereign citizen. Last time a sovereign citizen be a libertarian. Most of the time they are. Most of the time, sovereign citizens, because it's all rooted in a hatred of any sort of government. Hey, we're all sovereign citizens. We just don't know our rights.

Dude. You're either a sovereign citizen who doesn't know his rights or a sovereign citizen who does. I'm a sovereign citizen who will fight a cop in the street. If I... If they pull me... If I get a parking ticket, I am getting into a knife fight. Okay. Do you understand? I'm a summer citizen

So I look beautiful in a sundress. You say you're hot girl hot girl sovereign summer. Yeah Nick Nick tweeting five years ago just want to be railed in my sundress this summer Yeah, but while else like back shots while saying am I being detained to a cop over there? While saying am I being detained to a cop over there? If I'm a sovereign citizen and I find a sovereign citizen, can I citizens arrest for love? You can't arrest because it's a sovereign citizen. Citizens arrests aren't real, right? I think they aren't. They're not.

Being arrested isn't real. My understanding of citizens arrest comes solely from the scene in Master of None, where where Dev and his friend are on the train and they catch somebody jerking off. And they're like, can we do it? And they're like, stop, this is a citizen's arrest. And then they get the guy to stop beating off on the subway in California. I guess it does depend on state. This is a state level thing.

You can if you witness a misdemeanor or felony crime or have reasonable cause, believe someone committed a felony. That's crazy. You must inform the person you are arresting and provide the reason. Dude, we should do a video where we go and arrest people. OK, so citizens, you know what one of the biggest pieces of content on on stream world right now is? Mr. Beast.

Citizens arrests? People playing with slime. It is citizens arrests of... Oh, of pedophiles. Oh, yeah, we talked about this. But they are not citizen arresting them. They're humiliating and slapping them in the mall. Yeah, but also they call the police and do a citizens arrest.

Also known as a wobbler? Whoa. Some California crimes. I knew it That's funny. Wait, what does that mean? For those that don't know wobbling is an infinite in melee with the ice climbers where you can kill Your enemy. You know why bananas quit melee? It's because he's in fucking jail Imagine you got citizens arrested by Rob Juggle guy. All right. If you guys can hear that, by the way, there's drilling going on next door.

We are on the Undertale construction zone. The neighborhoods getting worked on. The construction workers are chill. Yeah, they're chill. They're fine. He saw my Vespa. He's like, no one said they weren't chill. Oh, they're only chill because they like your Vespa. The working man. I think Devin caused a wave.

I've seen so many Vespas now. Dude. And I wasn't seeing them before. I wasn't either. Vespas, K-Trucks, the Luddy. Like when he got his Vespa, I feel like we were all like, it felt like an imported item. Like it felt like something that I was like,

where did you get this? And now I've seen a lot of them. I actually have beef with it What's your best with other people who have Vespas? Others rivals of other you just copy are you copying the nations of Vespa riders? Others uh no no I so I started it Really yeah, yeah, no it's a good question, but I You gave Henry Vespa the idea

And I know aroma. Mm-hmm. No, you're asking a lot of questions Hey, you see you fucking slap the spaghetti out of his mouth. You know, they call the best one down is a four Yeah, I know. Yes. No, I know what it is in Vice City that they retain. Yeah, I think it's vice city I said my city it's we actually can't actually you can say it. What is it? Oh, you gave me what tell me. Tell me the term that it is. I'll just say a little zipper.

Look up GTA Vice City Vespa and then Aiden, you can read it out for us. I always. Yeah, top left, top left. Yeah, there you go. So what is that called, Aiden? Oh, top left. Yeah, there you go. So what is that called? Oh, for Gio. Oh, that's that's Mario and Luigi's third brother. We came to be out of the house.

Holy soul, I don't want to plumb. I want to dance. Yeah, I remember that. That is that is that typical rock star humor where you're like, you know, you're like 12 playing that. You're like, ahhhh. Sons of bitches. Yeah, sons of bitches. Hey, they're doing GTA 6, you won't. They won't.

They won't. They fear them. Because of Woke! Because of Woke, bro. Woke took the Fischio away from us, dude! Dude, that's fucked because Woke loves the Fischio from us, dude. That's that's fucked because the Woke loves the fishio. That's that's a hit right now. In 2024, that's a hit. I know.

Now all they got in GTA is well, you got Interscope coffee and you can go in and buy a little latte with oat milk. They got then you know, GTA six, you actually play as a barista. You play as a Latin X barista. Who refers to themselves as Latin X. And you have to go in and abort a baby. That's the first mission. And it's not even a mission because you do it every day.

Second mission is five X. You just go around town. You have to yeah. GTA 6 is being a Latin X barista who has works at the abortion store The hair salon making all hair blue Rest until the job is done. There's not a lot of missions anymore. You just go to class you read your critical race theory textbook Or dude, I would actually you remember the radio stations on GTA. So I would like that not the songs but like the talk shows

Yeah, they were basically like 30 to 40 minute like sketch comedy like long runs and I would so what I used to do in Vice City I had my dad's laptop in the living room that was connected to the internet we didn't have Wi-Fi and then the PS2 was in the other room so what I would do because I looked for every hidden package. You sound ancient every time, because I looked for every hidden package. You sound ancient every time you tell a story. It's crazy. It's so nice to have you back even though it's gone so long.

Kill yourself. It's not a time away from churning butter to get some games in. I'm serious. This was formative for me. Oh my god. So I would go on GameFAQs to look at every hidden package on Vice City. You get to scroll through the... I would do their text files....pasty art. Yes! And it's like, GTA, Vice City, and it's like, it looks cool. It's loading line by line on dialogue.

Get off the phone! And I read it. And because I couldn't, like, take the computer, I didn't think about it. I could have loaded it and then taken the laptop into the room. I didn't think about this at all. But instead, my dad had a tape recorder also. He's had a lot of random shit. Yeah, there's one of them.

Oh, that's hard as fuck. I would recite where the hidden package was on a tape recorder, bring it into the other room, and then go follow the instructions to find the hidden package. I'm imagining like a detective. Like there's also, we just had pen and paper. Yeah, but I have to write down all like, cause, cause the, the, the way it works, like, okay, start from the hospital.

These 20 hidden packages will start from the hospital. I'm like, uh, you know, the starting area. And so it's like, there's like clear directions and, um, I know we're like half of a Marta this day, cause I did a bunch, but you would go and you would do that. And then, but while I was doing all this and searching for red packages, I listened to the radio shows on Vice City, which were pretty funny. There were like spoofs of I guess at the time they were funny,

like spoofs of politicians talking to the radio and shit. What I'm getting at here is all of that is distilled into Caleb Pitts's video where he is eating a burger. That is the that is the political commentary level that Roxar was writing. But it just goes it distills down into Caleb years ago in his car eating a burger going, what's up, Obama? Barack Hussein Obama. Barack Hussein, you Muslim fuck.

This just piss you off. He's eating a fucking McDonald's cheeseburger meat. Red meat. My favorite part of that video, because it gets to a point where it's dragging. It's a long video. It gets to a point where he finishes the burger and then he pulls out a Taco Bell taco. He also has a taco. He doesn't...

Anything to destroy woes. How old is that video? Probably like 20. He looks young. He looks like he's... I can't... Is he still video? Mm hmm. Probably like 20. He's he looks young. It looks like he's I can't know. Is he still a player? No, no. His hair is hair.

I don't know. It's pre or post covid. I don't know what he looks like. Yeah, it's it's generation that going going back and forth to a computer for for video gaming. I when I was playing Mario Strikers as a kid, the chat room that you played in, MSCBay.com, was my first competitive chat room. It doesn't exist anymore.

If you go there on your phone right now, it'll brick it. It was an exact chat. And I finally got my mom to cave and let me use this to do matchmaking one afternoon, because she didn't want me online using chat rooms. And I finally got her to let me use it one day. First match in, like I finally get a match with somebody. Mid-match, I heard my, I hear my mom yelling from downstairs

because I have to walk from my mom's old MacBook upstairs to type in the friend code. And the friend code is like 12 digits. So I have to like remember chunks of the friend code and go back and forth upstairs and Mid game I finally it's taking my mom It's taking me literally over a year to convince my mother that this is an okay thing to do and midway through my first game She yells Aiden come down here

And I I come down and she's like what is this people are saying damn in here No, and I'm like, what is this? People are saying damn in here? No! And I'm like, yeah, I was like, dude, come on. And I fucking, and then I couldn't use the chat room anymore and I couldn't match make. And you made me think of that because when you guys were talking about loading stuff with dial-up, I would go to my cousin's house

and use their dial-up internet to load MSC bay and the We Troopers clan forum so I could like talk to gamers. Now known as Stormfront. We were talking about this last night. They got their shit together. Now there's some true freedom fighters. They're actually rallying together.

They're doing something. We were talking about this last night. Everyone's got a cool ass cousin. Yeah, that one cousin who just lets you do she hey everyone's got a hot cool-ass cousin you got a cool cousin my cool hot cousin my cool hot cousin he's always with Alex and he comes back like like different me Alex and Mike and it was awful awful. It was just... They were here during Star League, and I was just...

I saw them hanging out upstairs, and I was like, I don't think I have the brain capacity to engage with these right now. We're walking to get both of them. Mike was like, Get on Apex, twin. Hahaha! Oh yeah. Did you guys share your thoughts with each other?

Hahaha! No, dude, there's not a brain cell with twin heads. Oh yeah. Do you guys like share your thoughts with each other? No dude, there's not a brain cell between us. Do you know what Alex loves? No, I don't even know his last name. He loves Sniper2004 and booting up Nuzlocke runs. Nah man, I'll never forget opening his stream and he goes, man, everyone's got a hot cousin. I forgot about this. My girlfriend's cousin, they sent me a text yesterday.

Cool. Cause that's one of her, probably her cool cousin. And they were like seen in the wild. And it's like a photo of someone like wearing like a shirt, but it's a someone with the undefeated logo on their shirt. And they just thought it was the yard. So they said it, they were like, Oh, bro, you're famous. You're a big fan. You're famous. It mean... So they said it. They were like, Bro, you're famous!

You're a big fan. You're famous. It's come more and more things. You don't think they're metafucking with you? No. No, no, no. I went on Alex's stream once and someone was like, Yo, just hanging out in here after work.

And then Alex like made fun of them. He's like, Ah, no, but for real, that's cool. And then he's like, And then he paused and you can see the gears turning in his head. And he's like, ah, no, but for real, that's cool. And he's like, and then he paused and you can see the gears turning in his head. And he's like, he's like, but you know, like when me and your girl are at work, like I go up and like hug her from behind and she goes, stop. And the whole chat is just like, why are you as a man letting your girl? Your Pam's getting Jim.

Yeah. Dude, he's listening right now, smiling. That's crazy. Your Pam's getting Jim. Yeah. At work. Dude. And he's listening right now smiling. That's crazy. Jim was wrong for that, man. Jim was wrong for it. I see that clip where he does the hug. Dude.

You know what I'm talking about? Like when she's engaged to the other man. And she's got belly out. She's got belly out and she's like laughing. Yeah. Dude. When is Pam belly out in the office? Please, Zipper, can you look up Jim and Pam?

Look up Jim Was Wrong Fan Cam. Jim Was Wrong Fan Cam. There was something evil in the time, cause that was like a long time ago. Dude, Jim wasn't wrong. Nah, Jim was wrong. Explain it to your face. She was so happy until someone walked in. It was true love.

What the fuck are you talking about? Isn't that what happens in the clip? Is that she's laughing, she's laughing when someone someone else like sees it and she's like stop stop Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's like she's like Roy's gonna see. Yeah, that's bad. That's a Pam problem, bro That's not a Pam problem, it's a Jim Pro. They loved each other bro. Roy Toxic started something. They did not love each other at that moment. They did. No they were just flirting. They already loved each other. You. They did know they were just Girl at work and she's laughing unless she lives in love with you

Look look oh my god Crazy oh Shit, dude. She notices she notices you can't do that at work, dude If look if I'm Roy, I'm cutting his head off in the park literally punches him in the show Yeah, I know and it's like but but then they're all like dude Roy Dude, Roy chill out dude Roy was right. Roy was a bad boyfriend to be fair, but he wasn't evil No, do we actually do we know? No. No, we know cuz he comes back dude You know what vibe lead has lead has a big Bob Vance vibe. Yeah Yeah, do zoomers fuck with the office now I'm talking about like late zoomers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah late zoomers

Look, I don't think so. What's a late zoomer? What's a late zoomer? He's an early zoomer. He's like on the cusp. Like the side of Gen Alpha, like closer to Gen Alpha. Oh, okay, okay. I feel like a good,

like most of it's aged pretty well because the most of the humor is like, ah, Michael shouldn't be doing this. Like even back then. I don't know. Hey, you know what? If you're an early zoomer out there, not some fucking cringe fake zoomer like Aiden.

Yeah. I mean, let us know if you like the office because I'm actually interested for once in your fucking life. I don't think it's like millennial amount, you know? No, no, but like the way, the way the office had a grip on us as a culture, like on some like gym to my pants.

I think it's only like, you can only see it in clips now. It's like they've seen it on like TikTok. Maybe, yeah. The dude with a Dunder Mifflin t-shirt is a dying brand. I haven't seen that guy walk around this much. He's been getting aged out. He has kids now. He's just older.

Cause now we wear shirts that have like office references, but like they're low key. Low key office reference. Low key office, like a small Dunder Mifflin. Like it'svmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvmvm I miss you and I'm glad you're back. Do you think you kill yourself 10 minutes ago? And I meant it. Do you think about me? I don't know. First off, I don't mind that second off when and ever. Yeah.

Did you think about me and false it? Yeah, without me messaging you less, but yeah, but you did. Yeah. What did you think about? I thought I thought to myself I thought because I was talking to my mom and sister. And they're your beautiful family. Don't do that.

Don't call your family beautiful. I see why he thought of you. I can't call your sister and your mom beautiful people. No. Why? Okay, fine, your ugly mom and your ugly sister. Is that what you want? Because now you flipped it too far the other way.

I didn't flip, I can't admit. You can't, you, average. Hold on, get away with this with this at basketball. At basketball, I told him that his mom had texted me and I needed to reply to her about about merch. All I need to do is do a drop. Mom's asking her mom's asking to do a drop. Get some designers some Paloma merch.

Sorry, I'm a teacher. Immediately escalates it to. Oh, so you're fucking my mom again. Like, you're the one saying it! You're the one! And then somehow, somehow I will be blamed for this. Well, if you fucked his mom you would be blamed. Okay, well to be fair, after I said that, he goes into the best French accent I've ever heard Aiden do.

And he goes, and he goes, Oh Aiden, perhaps you want to finish the job with me? I did it. He just, he actually, he actually, as awesome as that would be, he just made that up. I didn't. Yeah, actually. He just made that up.

I said all that. He pretended to be his mom wanting to fuck me. Yeah. Which is way more out of pocket. No, it's his mom. He can do what he wants. Thank you. I was with my mom yesterday, and shut up. I was licking my lips like a big steak was in front of me. And she was saying how she looked. So wait, it's you, your mom, Alex, and both?

Yeah. And only one blunt for the four of us. His mom's going to, I'll go in for him. She was talking about how she watched the last episode. And there's this, there's, I don't know if you listen to it, but there's a part in there where I said I was in a particular place, stanking up something. Yeah. And I was like, we were already driving. She said, you watched the last episode. I'm did you finish it she's like no I didn't

get all the way through it I'm like so where'd you get the episode she's like I got to that part I heard the part that I was like right I heard yeah you tried to deny it you said your mom's pussy stank and you were living inside as a baby and then you tried to say that you didn't say that as a judge dressed Not very judgely. I would never say that about your mom and I have a mom Thank fucking god my parents are dead They ever had to hear so you were talking to your beautiful mom and your beautiful sister and you said you were thinking about me?

Yeah, man. What'd you think about? Yeah, man, you know, they want updates, you know, I tell them about you What'd they say? I tell them about you You know, she she she fucks you more and more. She fucks me more and more. Yeah, we've been low key like fucking with each other. What the fuck? I can't see anything. I feel like. I try to compliment your mom. You're disgusting.

It's a it's a Joe Biden's hand over your mouth. Joe Biden's hand and tattooed on it like the millennial mustache, but instead it's a face mask. Oh, that is hard as fuck. It's Joe Biden. You know that's how they did Kenny's voice in South Park? That's how behind the scenes thing. Just a hand?

Yeah, Trey just does this. And that's it. Into the mic. That easy. I got sometimes you can hear what Kenny says that you can kind of make it out. Yeah. I feel like they do it on purpose. Like they want you to know they want you to pick when you hear it. Kenny can swear back when you couldn't swear on.

They just swear now. But he could swear it. And you can hear them. They killed Kenny. You bastard. I mean, you you bad bird. Yes, I heard only but only through what I've heard from the grapevine. I've heard Kenny dies. You hung out with a trois

Yeah hung out with the trois checked out Kometo's As French Cabela's you got a hunting rifle y'all know Carmine court Yeah, yeah that the other org. Yeah It's a French guy, right? Yeah, commit. Yeah, fancy Also, and we checked out his facility and I went to my favorite restaurant. I think in the whole world what? What was it called, bro? They petite butthole Okay, that's back. It's a laugh They poop they but

That kind of fucking out loud laugh. Le poop de butt. Oh man. A double knee slap. I'm not even hamming it up. I'm just watching someone do their job. Yeah, just a master at work. You're not watching a master. No, what is it?

So they fry up the butts and they cook it. It's poop de la crème. You're know, I don't want to tell you. You're making fun of me. I'm going to make a funny. I mean, I want to hear. I want to hear. I want to hear. We're making for a nuclear power.

Jesus Christ, let us fucking live. It was a French. Japanese, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy, because I knew it would be as. What do you get? What do you order? I ordered the. The salmon. The what?

What is it? The salmon? Salmon? Like salmon? Like salmon? What's koo mean? It's to kill someone in the government. Or something. Don't worry about it.

Don't look it up. The zipper. Coup de salmon. Is it just salmon like sushi? He won't know how to look it up. Is it just... He won't know how to look it up. Was it a piece of salmon over white rice? No.

Okay. So I will say a place like that is very tailor made to hit. Was it just called Dubbins? It was called Dubbins and And you're just going to say something? I was a time traveler. And I'd come back just to eat here. That's what I hope happens when we're all the age 50. I hope that Dubbin has a restaurant.

And I can come into town because he's going to live somewhere else. And I can go to Dubbins. And I can be like, look who's here. Him, he's got a kiddo on his shoulder. Wow. And he's like, look who's here? Him, he's got a kiddo on his shoulder. Wow. And he's like, Uncle Nick. Right?

And you say, don't ever fucking talk to me like that. Yeah, I've been on this kid. Because in the future, we will be able to do that. Yeah, because Trump will be running a sixth term. We're going to change how that works. Cyborg Trump. Cyborg Trump. Hey, and you won't have to vote anymore.

We won't have to vote anymore. We won't have to vote anymore. It'll change it all for us. It's so convenient because I hate that part. The fact that you're going to start voting for us is what I think. Did you go to France just to hang? Well, I did like the chest boxing thing. There was like a little chest boxing thing, but yeah, no, it was mostly to hang out with

my mom and sister. That's cool. Got on tickets, hung out with my cousin Joe. Evil Joe. What do you call him, cool? Yeah, he's my and sister. That's cool. Got on tickets, hung out with my cousin Joe. Evil Joe. What do you call him cool? Uh, yeah, he's my cool cousin. What, you met him? He's for sure my cool cousin.

Is he cool as fuck? He's cool as fuck, yeah. I like Joe. Yeah, cause he's- cause he's stronger. Joe's dangerous looking. But like, low-key, dangerous looking. Yeah. No, why- why are you saying low-key so much?

Dangerous looking? Yeah. Is it cause he doesn't look white? Is it his hair? What the fuck? I'm asking questions. He looks Yeah. Is it because he doesn't look white? Is it his hair? What the fuck? I'm asking questions. He looks very white. No, he doesn't. Are you kidding me? What do you think he looks?

I would say he looks like. Armenian, you think the Armenians are a dangerous people? No, I think you think that is dangerous. I never said he looks dangerous. I think it is very controversial that he looks beautiful. I thought every one of your family members are beautiful. And I would have said that all day. I don't think you think that when I say that you fucking freak out.

He thinks your family members are beautiful. I got some ugly ass family members. Name them. Do you want me to go through them all? I thought you would never. That's what I thought. I can't. I love them too much. Anyway, you went to France. Now you're back.

Despite the reflection, I love them. Pissing me off. Oh, dude. I thought about getting you guys a gift. You thought? That's so nice to think about it. Like one collective gift. It's so nice to almost do.

I thought about getting you each one, but I only had one for Nick and I was like, ah, can't get you all like I can't get just Nick one. You could my birthday is in a week. You didn't know that, huh? No, he knew that. He had to know that. Come on, bro. You didn't remember.

I'm the birthday guy. It's just that you remember the context of it coming up soon, which would have been easy. It's just the exact reason why you could have gotten me a gift alone. And him only him. Nah, nah, nah, cause it was a French drawing pad in the airport. So it wouldn't have been a good birthday gift. Well, like an easel. We had like Caillou on it.

We should get a police sketch artist. We know what we should do. We should all commit a terrible crime. Okay. Like put us away. Pick a crime, what's yours? I'm gonna burn down a hospital. Okay.

Is it like a used one? Like a used one? Yeah, I'm not burning down a new hospital. I'm a monster. All right. That's the kind of shit on Facebook Marketplace. Like a used hospital. Used hospital.

$2,000. $2,000. And one of the pictures is the guy who's selling it doing this. Still people in there. Your responsibility. Take as is. I'm going to burn down a hospital. And then we have police sketch artists. We like to hide.

Okay, we do the crime. We like hide out. It would be a competition. First to get citizens arrested. Wins. No, they lose? We set the fan base loose to capture us. You can citizens arrest for a misdemeanor?

Because I think that's crazy. I think you'd get in trouble. Zipper, can you look up what the lowest misdemeanor is? Like what's like the... California misdemeanor. It ain't littering a misdemeanor is like what's like the California? Mr. Meenering a misdemeanor. Yeah, like jaywalking. Well, is it a misdemeanor if you if you just get fined for it It's like a moral technique song misdemeanor. I was thinking mr. Meener and it's like but I couldn't get there I don't have the genetics

But I'm kind of obsessed with this idea. I think I want to... What is a California wobbler offense? Prostitution, choplifting... And thank you for calling it that. Petty theft, indice exposure. Aidan actually catches all these charges. Hey, theft, prostitution.

Alright, alright, so it looks like the... Domestic battery is a misdemeanor? Damn. It's an aggravated one. Aggravated. Drunk driving without injury? Well, Aidan's done that too. I think the lowest stakes one is drug possession or what's the one right below that?

It was a... Drunk in public. What about prostitution? Nah, drunk in public's crazy. You can arrest, you can citizens arrest a prostitute. Maybe you should arrest the prostitute, the prostitute. Ah, you say, dude, wait, you're about to like prostitute and then you'd arrest the prostitute is like a reverse sting.

Yes. Wait, is it is a normal sting? Someone's going to jail. What's the goal? I will be arresting them and then I'll burn down the hospital and they'll be conflicted. I'm going to arrest every prostitute in California. It's my new goal. Burning down the hospital, not a misdemeanor, but they'll be conflicted because like this guy arrested a prostitute. I'm going to put him on a big bus in the sky. He got this prostitute off the street, put it put her in for him in the prostitute. I'm going to put him on a big bus in the sky. He got this prostitute off the street, put it put her in him in the battle bus.

So and then he burned down a hospital. So it's like he's a hero, but he's also dark. I remember my first prostitute was. I mean, I know it's not what you're saying. It sounds like I will. I don't know what you're implying that you paid for it. No. Whoa. That's what. Whoa. That's what you.

That's what they're for. You're crazy for that. That's to assume that you paid for it. No, whoa. That's what. Whoa. That's what you that's what they're for. You're crazy for that. That's to assume that you paid for it. The first one I saw. Malicious arson is a felony. Nine years only. Do you could burn out a hospital in nine years? No, they're equal.

If people get hurt, for sure. To fire some trees, Zipper, tell me about that. What do you mean you remember your first process? I remember seeing a prostitute, but not knowing it was a prostitute. And then my mom explaining that's a prostitute. Until you yelled like, a prostitute! See if she turns her head. I just thought it was a beautiful woman.

You thought so? I thought it was a beautiful woman with high heels and a short dress. What if I told you she was both? That's what, yeah. So think about that next time you come back from the nuclear power that France is. Why do they have also nuclear powers? Yeah, but we earned it. Because we made it.

No, because we stole the Nazi scientists. Right. And make the hydrogen bomb. I watch Adam before the Nazis. I know. So we double earned it. OK. Yeah, he's been to the. I'm sorry. I know. So we double earned it. Okay. Yeah, he's spitting today. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I've been watching a lot of videos. So next time, smoke that in your pipe. I was born in a dumpster. I wish they left you in it. No, dude, I born a dumpster. I don't know how to make food. I wish the fly. OK, and I see what you're trying to do here.

Trying to get us into the ad-lib for Hello Fresh, which I love. It's a great product. But I wish the flies ate your, and I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to get us into the ad-re-for-hello-fresh, which I love. It's a great product. But I wish the flies ate your eyes when you were a child. You mean the dumpster? The thing about... Hey, by the way, real shit, I just watched Ratatouille. Yeah. And it doesn't matter if you're born in the dumpster, anyone can cook.

And I don't know what to do. Where do I get... Where do I do it? Like, where's the ingredients? Anyone can cook. They come in the box, you dumb bastard. The fresh proportion of ingredients make it easy and help you cut down on food Wait, it's quick. It's easy. They got 15 minute meals

That's longer than all you last in bed when you're fucking me combined. That's true. Wow I'm the shortest from fit and wholesome to To swap proteins they have a meal plan that suits your life they can suit Nick's lifestyle Are there instructions Ingredients you have to think about there's a little thing and there's a car and it says this is what you do You do the stuff. They actually got ready the instructions. It's a puzzle every month that makes you So it's kind of like those little It's a puzzle every month that makes your brain work a little harder. So it's kind of like those little brain tests.

As someone who's always lived in a dumpster, I'm very picky. So do they have a hundred add-ons? No! Over a hundred add-ons! They don't have a hundred add-ons! It's over 100! Dumpster boy is picky! He wants a hundred add-ons that he'll never try!

You grew up with raccoons and fucking worms, okay? And good mutt. And the dumpster. Good dumpster mutt. So you get your appetizers, your breakfast, your desserts. You're out of the trash can. Your life is changing. Wow. You're different now.

Plus, if you sign up right now, you get free dinner for life. Free dinner for life? That's so good. Free appetizers for life, you fucking idiot. You get free appetizers for life. Listen, this is simple. You live in a dumpster. None of you can satisfy me.

I'm tired of it all. And to fix this problem, all you need to do at home and right now for you guys is go to HelloFresh.com slash the yard apps, use code the yard apps you get free appetizers for life one app ties around for box while subscriptions act for appetizers this is for advertisers not application not the everything app the yard everything what if it was hello fresh but you got free apps and it was X. Oh! Dude. And you could just download it for free for life. Goal!

That'd be so fun. HelloFresh.com plus the art apps. Code the art apps, America's number one meal kit. We're going back to the episode where shit's gonna get real weird. You were in France. Yeah. He was at Evo.

Dude. Evo. Evo, there was just... Okay, it was really funny. I think it might be on camera, but I forget. But I was doing the top six Tekken commentary and Street Fighter with BrawlPro, Kony, and Mat Man, and Doki Bird. And I think that's everyone, because we won the SageM thing. And it was like this side stage, which is actually kind of cool, there's a huge audience because no one can get in the main stage.

So we're actually casting. They can't hear us, but we're casting to the stream and we're watching Tekken. And it was really, really fun. But something happened. So on the stage, there was that, you know, at like events, there's the little Red Bull fridge that we're all very familiar with in FGC. It's a Red Bull fridge and it's a little fridge. It's got the little Red Bulls in there

looking like a bandolier. And you try to go up and get one and it's like locked. Always. And I really needed a Red Bull because I'm a fucking star. I'm a superstar and I needed my juice that makes me feel good and makes me go. I'm gonna need your juice.

Right, Ludwig? No, it's good. It makes you go. Makes me go. Red Bull, it makes you go. Makes me go. And Red Bull, it makes you go. Patent pending. I will $1,000, $10,000 for that. And I will go.

So I went up to the refrigerator and actually it opens from the back. And I'm like, oh, shit. So I start I start grabbing some for the crew and grab it from the back. He's not used to that. And in the fridge. And he's like, why is it clapping? What makes it clap? I wish I could hit this fridge missionary.

And then so instantly there's this giant crowd sitting waiting for Tagging to start. And this guy instantly goes up to the stage where I am and he's like, yo, can I get one? I'm like, yeah, absolutely here. And then another guy starts to stand up and I'm like, everyone come. And I started like handing them out like Robin Hood because there's a shit load in this little fridge and I'm just keeping the ones in front so like retains the display. You know the rules. Because I know the rules. I know how this works. And I'm like, here, here, come on everyone gather around. And then one of

the production guys immediately comes from the backstage. He's like, dude I don't think we should be doing. He's like scared. He's from the backstage. He's like, dude, I don't think we should be doing he's like scared. He's like, he's like shivering. He's like, I don't think we should be doing this. And I'm like, dude, it's fine. He's like, please. And I'm like, okay. And so I close it and I go sit back down.

No, I've seen too many cans in one place to care about that. I've seen too many Red Bulls in the world to think that that matters. I think he pays 20 year old girls in sororities to pass them out for free for a reason. And you were the 20 year old. I was that beautiful, beautiful prostitute. He might have just feared that you were going to pass them all out. And it's stupid because I know how this game works.

You know, don't ever be afraid of me. He's on game and he'll take the heat. You should walk around with that Red Bull backpack they have like that. The girls who give them out for free wear that they can't access and they need their other person walking around with them to open it and take one out for them. Yeah, they always have to work in duo. They're like Mormons. They also know like they don't cry.

People don't know that. People don't know the Red Bull. A surprising they're like Mormons. They also know like they don't cross the word. People don't know that. Yeah, people don't know the Red Bull. A surprising amount of them know Spanish. Both their hands are lethal weapons. I want to drive around the Red Bull car for a year, but never give out one. Ever. This is like your daily driver. Just having them shine a thing on the back.

You're like honking at people and shit. I'm off right now. I feel like you can hear people out the window. Yeah. Yeah. Yup. Dude, at EVO, for people who watch Strive, there was this guy named Jack who made top six in Strive. And Jack is somebody I know from when I was a kid because he played competitive Mario Kart. That was like his first competitive video game. And he's in my Mario Kart team was like his first competitive video game and he's in my like Mario Kart team called

Wally walks, whoa, which is and something interesting about Jack is This was his first offline tournament ever. Hmm He got top eight and he got top six same thing happen to Street Fighter I believe it was his first but that's like the 17 year old kid. He got top six He got like oh that was the the guy from the UK. Yeah, it was his first, but that's like the 17 year old kid. He got top six. He got like, oh that was the Guy from the UK. Yeah, it was crazy. So just online people showing up and this Jack What's interesting about Jack is even in the context of Mario Kart. He was like a child prodigy like he was on like the

Optic or like the phase equivalent within the Mario Kart community at like age 11 on this team called infected with skill and was just really, really good throughout. He was on IWS. He was what? He was on IWS. You're kidding me. IW. No, it was IS. Just IS. Lowercase I, capital S. So, and Jack is somebody I've never been particularly close with, but he was just amazing at that game. And I've known who he was since I was a child because of how good he was at that game. That's crazy. So now first offline tournament ever, he's just been grinding online. He plays in like the FlyQuest weeklies. Yeah. And showed up.

And it's what's also funny is he's never posted like pictures of himself. So I had no idea what Jack looked like until I saw him on video on the EVO mainstage. Dressed like Funky Kong. Dressed like Funky Kong on his flame runner, dicing people up in stride. So that was pretty cool. I was like, oh, this is your you're at the biggest tournament of all time for this game. And you just show up and you make Winner Side top. I had this idea on the way here, actually. So chest boxing. Great idea. It's over. It's washed. It's bad idea now. We hate it.

Well, it's really like the idea. It's really who cares. Yeah. And we think you killed it. To be fair, we just had an exhibition at the Olympics, but you killed it. And here new idea. Ready for this dubbing for free. Guilty gear boxing.

Two cat girls just going at it. OK. Just fucking swinging, swinging hands. Right. And then they play some guilty gear, which is not easy to do. And then back to it. I think the the elevation of this idea is what Life and Level did, which is they they put the DDR mat inside of a morph suit they wrapped their own bodies with it yeah they fought each other yeah and that makes

them fight in the game but your opponent is wearing your controller is that the one where they had the semen omelet if they lost I don't remember the punishment for that one but that was a bad one episode I think I saw that when I was like like 11 when you know you're out of ideas, chess boxing's over, so let's get the semen omelets going. Semen omelet. Just an omelet in France. Who do you think could best disguise semen here?

Disguise? You tried to cook like an omelet and a semen omelet. Not mine, it's too powerful. Mine would taste like tapatio, bro. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Mine tastes funny. My my would taste like top of tea. Oh, bro

You're saying oh you're saying which one would go undetected taste wise yeah And I know who wouldn't what is this based on virility? I guess also cooking skills Well, you could do any you just like that's all I thought that's what I thought you man That's what I thought a cooking skill. Who would have the ability to hide it the best? It might be a cooking challenge. But I didn't I didn't, you know, I didn't bring how each of our stank into the equation. Mine does not stank. It's just powerful. It's like pop rock. Stank.

Oh, it has like like effects. Yeah, my shit's like pop rocks. That's disgusting. My shit here play marbles on stream. My shit comes out and it goes, rrraaaawr and then it highlights purple. That's disgusting. My shit, you ever play marbles on stream? My shit comes out and it goes RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR One million dollars! Wow! This shit's forever, D. We sell crack and heroin. What? The children!

Weren't you supposed to shave your head? Nah, chill with all that. Marvels! Do it a lot. I actually did it, so I got back from Evo, no I got back from Oz and I was sick and I told Ludwig I can't shave your head because he wanted me to do it and the Marvel he rolled on stream was to shave it down to the bone. Not some fucking, not some bullshit like last time not some little short-ass hair ass

Laude wig shave it down to the bone and you've been dodging. I haven't been dodging. I Mean window of opportunity fell. You know, it was that day over so the windows gone. You just don't have to do it There's no accountability. I think your viewership dead-ass goes down It does go down and every time I bring up the ball, it's a chorus of nos. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? People are really sad at the idea. So I have to basically figure out what to do. Like, it's not like it takes a while to grow back.

Yeah, it does. And I don't mind it, but the the people are upset. It's so they don't want it. They the people are upset. That's so funny. They don't want it. They really hate the idea. That's so funny. It's not that bad. I think, look, I think, frankly, people spend a good amount of their time watching me and they don't want to watch a bald person. That's actually crazy. I think that's Northern Lion.

Yeah, but those are Northern Lion fans. And yeah, I think they go in knowing that. It's nonchalant. The myth of consent. They all have like a piece of tape on the top of their monitor. They're only looking at him from the eyes down. It's just a sharpie drawn on here. Look, I think he's a charming, handsome man. Everyone loves Northern Lion. Everyone loves him.

But I think for me, there's a different expectation. And if you know, it's like, I think it's like, you know, and I've thought about it. If I were to tune into Tarek and he was bald one day. Because one time he shaved and I didn't watch him. That's crazy. That just can't be true. Come on.

Look up Tarek's shaved face. Look it up. Oh, like he shaved his face. I stopped watching until I grew back. Is he smiling in the picture? Halfway. Zipper? Dude, so are you just not going to do it?

I don't know. I had to figure out basically. I don't want to do it if most people don't want me to do it. Does it count if we transfer this to someone else? Perhaps Nick. Oh! What was this? How many Patreon subs to shave your shit bald to the bone? I don't think he would.

New sub goal. We haven't set a new sub goal in a long time. That would suck. I don't, I can't even. He doesn't know it's guys. It's not that bad. You guys keep talking about it. I have to kill myself.

Like it's a death sentence. You would, you would. It is rough though. It's fine. You wear the optic hat. Yeah. Green though. It's fine, you wear the optic hat, green wall. You join the Harkonnen army. That guy's handsome. I don't know, I think I'd do it.

I would just look like shit for a while, but my hair grows really fast. But how many? That's the thing. How many would it have to be? We're like 36? We've never done a push. Well you know what's weird? Because now Paytion has the free sub. Yeah.

Oh, you're a gift bomb. They kind of, well, no, it's just like it costs no money, right? Well, we have 36 paid. Oh, so we have paid subs. Does that separate that? Yeah. Either way, it would be funny to do also. But I think it's the same effect of dubbins where people actively being like, actually don't. 50K, 50K.

I would look like shit for a while shaves Nick shaves down to the bone. I do the do the shit cam stream The yeah, the shit can't go pro. Oh Look He's looking at it looks like he's wearing a little hat That's all I don't think I like this. That's old. I've never seen the Macklemore cut before. This is funny. It looks like he's wearing a little hat.

Yeah, that's just a fez. That's a Turkish fez. Oh, so is it for checking messages? That's crazy. Looks like an eraser. Well, figure it out. I mean, look, I loved the idea, but I was just sick and I couldn't do it when I got home. I'm so glad your voice is back to normal because it was freaking me out.

Why? It was giving me a feeling in my ears I didn't like. What the hell? I was convincing. You hear nails on a chalkboard and you're like... I prolonged it because I went to EVO and just screamed my fucking little ass head off. People were theory crafting in the comments about your voice. They thought it was a bit.

I think he's going through second puberty. Yeah No, that's not real. I was just sick. I I like that was fun. I sound like Alex Jones Especially when we debated you say shit like him too. I know it was fun. I Get it. You get why it's fun to be Alex Jones. I get why Alex Jones, do you know how much money he made pre pre accountability? Alex Jones seems like a pretty fun guy to be. Yeah. Well, then he started talking about.

Well, he actually he pushed back. It was really interesting. He like he pushed back on Nazi stuff, which was kind of funny. He's like, dude, you're already at the 99 yard line. You're so adjacent to it. What are you doing? Yeah. Dude, yesterday went to Shoto's birthday party.

But VTuber, you're bitter about this. Not bitter. It's so obvious. It was pretty funny how the conversation went. Not bitter. It was cause we were in our group chat, just the four of us plus zipper and And Aiden's like yeah, let's go into a party tonight, but I think he implied that he was going to maybe

He said I might go to yeah, I might go to yeah, and so me and slam are just like What's this? What's this party? Like we don't fucking know When they when they tell us who the party they're like oh, it's oh, it's this? What's this party? Like we don't fucking know. When they tell us who the party, they're like, oh it's this guy Shoto. But there's no like, follow up. Yeah, there was no like, you guys can come. There was no like, what do you guys think about that? It's someone else's birthday party.

Who do you know that we don't? The person whose birthday it is. That's a dumb question. The person whose birthday it is. Do you know? No, that was why it was weird. That's what I was thinking, it's funny about this. I got invited by somebody that lives there.

Hey, you know what Duke Dennis says? I don't know. On fleek. Wasn't this the guy that made fun of Jake Paul's wife a bunch? Shoto? Logan Paul's wife. I don't think so. No?

They were gonna fight and he's like, she got. No, no, no. It's the same guy. Everyone loves this guy. Everyone loves this guy. I saw everyone hated that guy. You know, that's why I was talking about this guy. Now I have a question.

I have a question. Do you guys I I asked I got invited to this birthday party. Do you go show? I didn't go. I didn't end up going. And you can fuck with you group chat Shoto if you're watching. I don't know who you are, but he's a VTuber.

Shoto is a VTuber. I don't know who Shoto is, admittedly. Also, I don't know. I feel like I don't know a lot about VTubers. And I asked Dumbit, I said, how does, how does a VTubers birthday work? Are they gonna be cruising around on the iPad like Iron Man?

Fair question. Not the dumbest question I've ever heard in my life. And he said it's the dumbest question he's ever heard. That is the dumbest question. That was genuinely the dumbest question. How is that a dumb question? The second you get to be on an iPad. Because we've literally, hold on,

have we not literally seen? Vito VTuber show up to events on iPad to Name two Iron Mouse here. We go who has an illness and that's why she does it your Japanese Japanese guy who I don't know what there's some Japanese guys that I've seen on the Looking up I think I have porn I JG, Japanese VTubers. Just looking up Jav porn. Gay Jav porn. I think that plays. I think also this is a scenario where I can base this situation on one instance. Dream.

Dream. Dream was on the iPad. I thought the whole thing was like they gotta be anonymous. Why would you go to a birthday party with with tons of people that? And I appreciate that I got the invite from two of the other hosts, but I didn't know Chautau and I was like, this seems like what do I expect? OK, do people I don't hang out with VTubers.

I don't think it's a dumb question. I won't think it's an anonymity. It is a dumb question. It's a dumb question. This soft man, this soft little boy, that's a dumb question. I think it's an anonymity. It is a dumb question. It's a dumb question. To this soft man. This soft little boy has a dumb question. He should get hard in things. Let me ask you a question.

If we had Shoto on the yard, would Shoto be on an iPad? Some sort of monitor apparatus? He might be in the VTuber model. Oh, okay. So, of course not. He would also maybe just do it wearing like, enough, like some cultural type shit. Is that the thing?

Like he's being dressed up, dressed up like he's getting interviewed in a vice documentary. But that's obviously different right? Why is that? This is a party. Because this is viewed by hundreds of thousands of people and the other one's like a more intimate birthday gathering with like. So you go to this suck-in-fuck-taser party. Alright, I'm gonna be real with you.

We have to cross intimacy off the list because I got invited. That's what I'm gonna be I'm gonna be real with you. We have to cross intimacy off the list because I got invited As posting something on YouTube, okay shit you can still call it I'm kind of like a couple hundred thousand people if you think about it You know, you're talking but you have a hundred thousand uber conversation. So I'll say that fuck. Oh damn and that's right I'm sorry. That's right up top It's right See some anyway Anyway, y'all know mouse has illness right? Yeah. What is the are we is that a public thing?

You dude It's like where to start with him right yours. I like how frustrated don't say you guys with him right yours I like how frustrated don't say you guys I don't know you don't even know she iron mouse why would I know that I'm learning with you know respectfully I like Connor cyclotron this is the guy do you know about Connors did the iPad cycle along with him do you know about Connors charity auction stream yes yeah what did he raise money for? Autism. I'm guessing. It's not autism. That's a good guess. Probably, probably. Why did they give away all those toys? Contextually, contextually, I'm guessing that it was for a health related cause to Ironmouth. No, it's the IDF.

Oh! I knew, I knew Shinnu Krav Maga. And this gaming sesh with Pokemanes going to fund the Iron Dome. No, it actually is is that yet though. It's not the idea The other is a different way different idea is it like nambla nambla? Yeah, there's two dad's one goes to space They should change that it's the immune deficiency foundation. Yeah, okay, they really got a Okay, so this organization is IDO. I don't know. And so he always raises money for that, which is... Cause Mouse, I think, has like no... What's that called?

Immune system. Oh, it's dangerous. Yeah, you can't go out and shit. So anyway, that's why she's always on the iPad, but like... At the charity auction stream was another VTuber who just wore a mask. Okay. And a lot of VTubers are like, they'll go out in public... Because people don't know what they look like, they just wear a mask. Okay. And a lot of Vtubers are like, they'll go out in public because people don't know what they look like, they just wear a mask. Don't people get mad at them when they reveal?

I've seen that. Yeah, but like they're not revealing, they're just revealing to us. No, no, I'm just saying a separate conversation. Like when Vtubers reveal their face, people are like, what the fuck? Well yeah, if they don't look like they're Vtuber model. Because I want your Vtuber to be you. Is it kind of like a, kind of like a, when K-Pop Idol reveals they've been in a relationship this whole time? No, it's more like when you had an idea of a character from reading a book

and then you watch the movie and it doesn't fit in. That's not what they look like. Yeah, I get it. It is kind of interesting though, like Vtubers can, they can choose a lot of their life. Like, they can go to Evo or something, right? Which is cool. of their life. Like they can go to EVO or something, right? And then it's like, yeah, sorry. No, I'm Bill. Well, I'm also I'm not disputing. I'm not disputing your explanation.

All of this makes sense to me. I just feel like my question was appropriate. It was appropriate. I wasn't yet. Because if he was on an iPad, then the birthday would just be online. Uh, no, we wouldn't all hang out. Yeah, cuz if he was on an iPad then the birthday would just be online uh No, we wouldn't all hang out We would just hang out online and then be like in a discord call

What's wrong with hanging out in person? Cuz they would just not be able to communicate as well Birthday parties are for everyone else not for the birthday person everyone knows this Is that true? Everyone knows this Especially if they're big enough I feel like this is not true. If the party is big enough, I think it's... No, they're not because you don't have a birthday party when the person isn't there for the

person. But if Aiden went to this birthday party, he's not going because he's like, happy birthday, Shoto. He's going because it's like gathering. I think it's 50-50. That's true. You can't have one without the other. I would pay my respects.

Yeah, you got to pay respects to the dog. I'd better not. I'd pay respect. You gotta kiss the ring. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen.

You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the glass screen. You gotta kiss the's true. You can't have one without the other. I would pay my respects. Yeah, you gotta pay respects to the dog. iPad or not, I pay respect. You gotta kiss the ring. You gotta kiss the glass screen. Yeah. The black mirror. You kiss the robot.

The dildo. I legitimately bring this question up because I'm not trying to make fun of something. I was like, I have had one conscious interaction with a VTuber and it was when one was on an iPad in front of me at a social event. So I was like, maybe this is the norm. The more he seriously talks about it, the more I think he's stupid. Because I was like, kind of like being funny, like type shit.

Oh, I'm serious. But he seems pretty serious. It's just 50 iPads at Anime Expo fucking going around like Stephen Hawking. That wouldn't surprise me. That would not surprise me. Like going to a farm. They're all in there. Fuck.

It's like when you it's like they had the the it's a group of VTubers or performers that they had at Dodger Stadium. Is that what it is? Yeah. And they perform on this screen. Is Hatsune Miku a VTuber? No, she's a Vocaloid something. Hopsin from YouTube. Hopsin from YouTube.

She's a Vocaloid. So what is she? A logic VTuber AI who only spits out fucking cerebral. Oh, I logic the rapper. Yeah, Bobby. Fuck yeah. I think that'd be cool. That would be cool. That would be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be cool.

People don't realize that Logic was brought up by FaZe. Another another another child identification of Banks. Another W for FaZe under the. Actually, it was before Banks, but still still Banks. That's what I read the fucking hat brother. FaZe up, dude. Yes. Yeah. That's what I read the fucking hat brother phase up dude. Yes. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about Get the hat off. It's still it's like a burned insignia Bases back dude

They did their fucking big tier list of all old faith members and like all the old faith members were like coming out of the woodwork Like I got mentioned And it was like sometimes it was cool. Sometimes I was that's crazy Oh, just yo, they let me on the computer in the library in jail for this. What are they making a tier list of fired FaZe members? Well, yes. Well, they're making a tier list of anyone who's ever been in FaZe, including just the trickshotting clan on YouTube and stuff.

Like, just all of them. And there was a category of... I think there was one that was just like cringe and there's two people And I won't say one and the was courage JD on there. No, I actually don't know who the person was Do you think he was in phase? No, he's not in phase. He just gets off. He also makes the jail time. Yeah, or death penalty But there was a guy in there. They put him in he just like replied. He's like, ah Man, damn that sucks. Who it was it I don't remember his

fucking name uh hold on let me see what's courage JD up to he's been quiet courage me too quiet don't look for Charlie dog you're looking for trouble I'm not looking for trouble you are looking up a guy your little truffle right now so good you guys have no idea what I got he's in the optic hat too

this is we welcome to Rob Deer deck I'm ridiculousness Okay, and I'm here to show you a video of a horse getting blown up by an RPG first this ad But first is a courage ad was all you got in Texas, huh? Wait, I'm gonna look at him up I'm not looking for trouble. I just think he's been too quiet. Well, he's up. What are you doing? Like what does he do with his days? Why don't we have him on the yard? I don't think you care about what he does with this day.

I think that's true. I think what he says. OK, so it's a video and it's of Tony Stark being in Fortnite. And then he says, I can predict the future. This is the new worst podcast segment of all time. This is what it looks podcast segment of all time. What is it? What is it?

What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?

What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?

What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? Six days ago he posted a picture in front of a cyber truck with two other guys. The segment's still going, I'm gonna kill myself. Why? Why is this bad? It's the worst segment of all time. And he tagged Fortnite game. They'll say it like that. Why? Is it?

He's looking for trouble. I'm not looking for trouble! I'm not looking for trouble! You are! He's the last of horny again. I'm not looking for trouble! I'm not looking for trouble! You are! I'm not horny! I swear I'm not I'm not that shit I don't deal with people like that

That's true Because he gets excited about things like the cyber truck I get excited too! It's just about fucking 90 minute videos on a Ron Contra That's not normal You guys know you can customize the Cybertruck? But you can make it green Duh, you can get a rat

Yeah, well the one courage JD posted on his post on X has a rap on it on the Cybertruck, dude You're your cyber truck should come with Twitter blue Dude, it should like be part of the fucking car bro yeah real shit every time you drive it just disclose your location on X the everything app Elon is G courage in the last segment. I love courage. Take us out. The last five minutes. What do you not like about the ladies?

Parachute me out of the segment. Get a cyber truck and you should get Twitter blue. That's fucking smart. That's a fucking smart business idea. And then you can say W to Ninja's tweet about staying away from women. He was right for that. It's funny he brought it back. He already did this years ago.

And he's like, nah, you didn't hear me. He did double down on the take. And then, I don't know. I said no women. Stealing Mike Pence's swag. I call my wife Mother, and she feeds me dinner, she feeds me chicken and macaroni, and then I go play Fortnite.

And I just talked to my wife. And I was in a Sam's Eye commercial. And you know what? No bra. It's great, cause I feel like now, if you were to go back and like find him in a, like a picture of him with a woman in a room, then it would be incriminating. It would like, right? It's like finding people in pictures with Epstein.

But it's like you just need to find Ninja in a picture with a woman. It's like you said you don't do this, what's this? You're potonically hanging out with a woman. I don't think it exists. I actually think he's a man of his word. Because it would have come up, right? Twitter would have hounded him already. This would be a fun like Ashton kutcher prank on ninja Just like put a woman in like a place where he is yeah And then it locks all the doors she's T posing and the walls start to close again L every time he's in the elevator get a woman to just fucking last second put her hand in

Do you think he'd get out of an elevator No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to place an order. Yeah, dude. Or you know what you do. He like goes to the dentist, right? It's the Ashton Kutcher prank. He goes to the dentist. But then everyone in the dentist often like office like leaves and then the doors are locked.

It's just him and like the receptionist who is a woman. And he's like, oh, oh. And she's like trying to talk to him. Is there a male dentist here? Is there is there any is there a man I can talk to? Of the house? Young lady, she's like 80 years old. Young lady, is there a man I can talk to?

Does that apply to elderly women? You think? No, no, no. And that's what's fucked up. That's what's fucked up. It's only young women for sure. This idea of women is just objects. Whoa. It's women age 20 to 40. Forty one. He's chill.

Chill. Chill is a fucking. I think I think the thing that was is more mind blowing to me than the clip is all of the people. There are so many people who are like W respect, showing respect to your wife. That's pretty. Yeah, it's like what happened? What happened to fidelity? What do you mean?

Hey, you got a W man right here. Dude... Keep it up, Ninj. Don't say that. I don't like that. I need two things, guys. I only give you one. I need it hard.

And I need it good. Okay. And I said I stayed true to my word. I only give you one. You only give me one. I either give it to you hard or I gave it to you good because sometimes some I won't lie. I can't do both.

I can't. I'll be even more specific. I can. I specifically can't do one. Okay. Well, how about this? I'll take hard. You have reached a path that forks in the road.

Nick can only give it to you good and I can only give it to you hard. I might need a little boost to get there. I think all of you can give it to me hard by using by using our sponsor for this week, Hymns. Okay, you guys need a boost. I've been tired of of it not being hard. Right. And now I'm done. You're going to call up hims. You're going to get prescribed ED medication and you're going to get hard for me.

Do they have something to prescribe giving it to you good? Cause I have the hard thing down. Unfortunately, that is all up to you. I'm kind of the guy who needs the hard. So I don't know how to get Bobby with my tool. I don't want to, I don't want to go somewhere in person to have to get my treatment. You don't. You just call them up. I don't want to go in person. If I have to get hard, I don't want to have to go...

Right, you don't want to go to the... I don't want to have a doctor see me. It's 100% online. Wait, it's online? It's online. You don't have to talk to... I don't want to show the doctor. I don't want to go to the medical professional rock hard. Well, likely if you're approaching these medical professionals through him, you are not rock

hard, which is Nick's problem. I don't want to go to them soft and show them my soft penis then. I'd rather go rock hard. You won't have to. That's what I'm saying. How do I get to Niagara before I go to the hospital? It's 100% online, using intake form. I don't have insurance.

It doesn't matter. I don't have insurance. You don't need insurance. You pay a low price for your treatments. You do the online visit. You get your hems. And then you come back to me. What if you don't need insurance. You pay a low price for your treatments, you do the online visit, you get your hems, and then you come back to me. What if you don't have a penis? Then I think that you're in a different spot with this product. I think it might not be something you should be interested in.

What does Viagra do if you don't have a penis? I don't know. I think it makes you levitate. I think it gives you fireballs like Mario. That's how you get the nipple penises. If you do the perfect input, it's a blue spark fireball. So yeah, that's it. Start your free online visit at hims.com slash the yard. If you, like my friends, I'll call and use that term loosely. I know you guys get hard for me.

We are not on speaking terms. You must be a child by now. H-I-M-S dot com slash the yard for your personalized ED treatment options. Who's going to be our? Now let me tell you something. Aiden has actually been working on his yard cipher. So Aiden. Yeah, hit us with that cipher.

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Price varies based on product and subscription plan. Wow, and there was a beat behind it too. So that's it, back to the episode. Okay, hard for you. I need you to be honest with me. Is your, you're gonna leave today because you're gonna go watch Moist the Moguls play. Moist the Moguls. Yeah. I thought that they played in a tournament like two weeks ago

And it was already over or something. So what what is it today? What does today mean? You know what? What is it? What will they get into the league if they win today? I don't know anything That's why I'm asking you the owner of the team. So there's Just quickly. I won't spend anything. That's why I'm asking you, the owner of the team. So there's, just quickly, I almost spent a lot of time on this. Yeah. Tier two, and everyone wants to go to tier one. I know that.

Tier zoo. And there's three different groups in the Americas, North America, South America, and Brazil. Right. And you have to find the best teams from all those regions, only two go from North America And so this tournament we're currently in is to find the best two and right now we're in winners finals of The tournament to get yes spots. Yes. Holy shit. So we aren't in not yet lose lose you get third. Yeah

But it's looking today. We're top two and then you go to the Ascension tournament, which is to North American I think one Latin American and then one Brazilian and then those four compete for one spot. Oh So there's still two tournaments to go the one we're currently in and the one that we could make it to my my other window Into this is I think his name is Leo the guy who like runs the league, right? He tweets, he'll drop an update about how the league works. And then you get upset about how it works. Yeah. You're vocal.

Is this all worth it right now? Or is Leo going to kick you out of the league, even if you make it in? He's going to come up with a new rule. But here's what I'm praying. No offense, Leo. I hope that Leo comes to God when it is the time for him to do the thing that everyone doesn't want, not want him to do, because basically there's you. You only go up for a set amount of time and then you're supposed to go back down

to tier two. Yes. But right is not yet solved if a team goes up and then wins Masters or Championship or Champs. Yeah. They don't know what to do. Leo I got this dope paramotoring group on. You, me, Courage JD. The pyramids. Nah okay so it was vindictive. No it wasn't! I'm just saying it to rile you up. I want to keep Courage JD away from Paramotor. That's why I put him in the side of the truck. He wants to give Courage an experience he'll never forget.

Courage JD Vance. I want to change my Twitter name right now. There you go. There you go. So here we go. Yard podcast. Because right now there's a scenario where Moist, you own the best team in the world. They qualify to get in.

They win masters or champions. And then in two years, they get kicked out of the league. I don't think they would do that. Yeah. That would be, they would be insane. They'd be crazy people. You would incite riots in the streets. I think G2 is currently doing that.

And you know what they said? They're like, we're going to try to find a way for G2 to stay. Right. But then it's like, you know what I mean, you think they would have thought of that? Yeah. All right, Archie, Archie, just keep it all in. But I want you to say Bosch. Put it over the whole part. Well, dude, Anthony's talking actually for that entire segment, MUTUS.

But put yourself in a smaller box pouring gravy. Yeah. On some sort of breakfast over a full English. Wow. You're really making it work for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And of breakfast over a full English breakfast. You're really making it work for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then and then we can go back. Do you want Archie to move here so bad? I want him to live in there.

I don't. Why? To move here to live in the shed. Both. What the fuck's your problem? Why are you even with Archie now? I'm not being said I'm even. I'm not giving them even a little bit. Well, you said you don't want to live in a beautiful Britishness. She doesn't care about that.

That's a Tory. That's a gay. He's a Tory. He's not. You know, if I just went to his computer, I should all it's all like, we're behind you soon. Well, yeah. Can I ask you the pie of your life right now, what's the biggest piece of the pie that you care about? Honestly, it's you guys.

Shut the fuck up. I hate when he does the laugh from the emote. I hate when I can see the emote. This is my monthly Ludwig check-in. Yeah. You got your finger on so much shit. I can see the emo. This is my monthly Ludwig check-in. Yeah, nah, you guys are all check-ins. You got your finger in so much shit. You got a fucking eSports team. You got a fucking Off-Rank company. You got a fucking The Yard podcast. You got a fucking Are you busy?

Cutie Cinderella. Your beautiful wife. You're asking too many questions, bro. What's the pie? You're asking too many federal questions. Pets? You can't be asking about the pie. I like thingies. No, because everyone wants their fingies in it.

I'll have my finger in your pie. What's wrong with. No, because everyone wants their fingies in it. I'll have my finger in your pie. What's wrong with that? Because I got too many fingies in my pie. Okay, question. If I were to put my finger in your pie, which section of the pie would be statistically the most likely for my finger to be placed in? That's a federal question just asked at a child's reading level. Yeah.

No. Children can be FBI agents. I know. Alright, so Jimmy has a pie. And he puts his finger into the pie. Do you know what Jimmy's pie is full of right now? Oh. It's a third party...

Oh, that Jimmy. When Ludwig becomes Mr. Beast, when he defeats him and becomes Elden Lord. I do get to take over the throne, yes. And then, so, you know who's getting fucking the first. You know, he's getting called first. Sun La Sun La Sun La's getting the fucking first call said, you know what? We made it, bro.

Smokejumpers, Vince, you're in. Let's do this. You should play chain together with Sun La. Dude, I know. Dude, that's a really. Oh, my God. It's such a good idea. God, I know. Dude, that's a really good idea. God, I would get frustrated at him. Yeah, but really off the court, it's brotherhood. It's like you guys are like off the court.

We are day ones. But like on the court, like when he doesn't listen to me, like, I just want to like, but like, I know end of the day, like, yeah, he's like a 60 year old man. He doesn't know how to play video games. I want to go to Taiwan with him. Yeah, we should all go. It's so we should all make we should all go on your trip.

I'm doing well. You guys would not be invited to Taiwan. What the fuck? I want to see TSMC. I go without an invite. I just show up. So what now? What if he shows up to your romantic trip? So what now? So what now? So what now? So what now? But like being in the country is fine.

Woman, woman, she Taiwan. No, but I will be close to you. Like so if I'm going to dinner. Yeah, well, we're going to dinner now. But I set up reservation for two, meet Tung Lo. Reservation for one right next to your fucking table, bitch. It's like who's that guy with a with a big mustache? And a trench coat.

And a trench coat. You're like the guy from Ratatouille when he gets fired. Who's about the size of Aidan and Nick if they were on top of each other. Yeah, yeah, and you got, looking at the menu. The newspaper has two eye holes in it. Yeah.

And they're just like, why do you have a newspaper? If you guys were on top of each other in a trench coat, that'd be chill, I'd be, I'd be by you guys. Dude, chaining together with Sula would be so funny. It's like, I got my old neighbor who I used to live next to, to play video games with me. That's like, Jerma type shit. That would be like, the opposite of what Kai's doing. Because he's hanging out with like, a 19 year old Taiwanese kid, and I'd be hanging out with a 60 year old Taiwanese adult man.

What 19 year old Taiwanese kid is Kai hanging out with a 60-year-old Taiwanese adult man. A 19-year-old Taiwanese kid is Kai hanging out with. Ray. Ray Mysterio. Asian boy Ray. Oh, the basketball YouTuber? No. Okay, never mind. It's like he's so far behind.

I think we're gonna have to put him in one of the smaller classrooms. I don't know who you're thinking of. I saw Kai in the back of a U-Haul. I was kind of funny. They should. Oh, yeah. He was just like, I didn't close the door. That was crazy. I spy showed up. Yeah. Yeah.

He's crazy. I'm thinking I'm thinking of Roy. That's Asian boy. Ray Asian boy. Ray. He's on the screen right now. What a kingmaker he is. Their life looks so fun. That's what every kid's thinking. Yeah, dude, you're 27. They look like they're having someone do... You're 27, bro. Can we chill with them? Chill. You're 27, bro. You're almost 30, Dubbin.

Nah, but I'm not. Do you think about it? No, cause why would I? I'm in my 20s. You're almost 30, Dubbin. Dudes me 27 and watch Ludwig. You need to mogul move out your parents crib. That was the tweet of 2020. Really? I don't remember what it was. That was the best tweet of 2020.

Did you tweet this? I don't remember if me or someone else. It's crazy to call the best tweet and it might be. It's just best tweets. PlayStation. It might be me. Mike might be you. I played basketball with. Yeah, you went to dream. I saw you drop fucking zero.

No way. You know, his defense and his defense, they made him warm up the bench. And it's not his fault. OK. So what was this basketball disrespect? It was it was it was a five five between Duke, Dennis and Mark Phillips. That guy that fucking was mean to do the glitter bomb guy. guy that fucking was meeting with Jake Paul. The glitter bomb guy? No one here fought Jake Paul.

There was that guy that was gonna... Have you seen that video? Have you seen that video of Sina saying hi to someone and they don't recognize her? No. That was Duke Dennis, right? That clip is funny, dude. It goes up and she's like,

hey how's it going? And he's like, like who are you? And she's like, oh my god we met. And she's realizing, she's realizing that they're on stream and she's not. Oh no. And she's like, oh my god no. Please tell me you remember me.

And he's just like, and she's like, melting. Oh dude, so fucking funny. Do you know AMP? That's Kai's like group, right? Yeah. Do you know anyone else in it?

Nope. Okay. You watched the Cypher? Yeah. Yeah dude. Kevin Hart's verse group, right? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know anyone else in it? Nope. Okay. You watched the cipher? Yeah, yeah, dude Kevin Hart's verse that shit's ass No, but it's a freestyle Yep Yeah, I think it's innovative because he spends about 10 seconds doing Well, actually we have an Asian expert on site.

You could tell us whether it's real, real Chinese. Yeah, because I I don't know. I don't want to make a claim here, but I did think that he was just making sounds that sounded like someone was speaking Mandarin or perhaps being might actually be able to tell. That's what you know. That's what got great. Bring up the cipher. Bring up the A's what you know. That's what got great. Bring up the cypher.

Bring up the A.M.P. cypher. That's what got Greek God ex band. But when Kevin Hart does it, I don't wait. When did it get Greek God expand? When he was on the street mocking a Chinese person. How do you know this? And sometimes I'm plugged in.

Sometimes I don't know what you're talking about. Dude, it's a crazy clip. That's crazy. You know, and then fuck it. But here we are. Kevin Hart, because he's always a fucking vegetarian. You don't know who Duke Dennis is because he owns a vegetarian restaurant. If he doesn't have a stream. So to be I actually don't know.

I know exactly what Duke Dennis looks like. I know that he's famous, but I don't know who he is. I don't know what he does. Is he a streamer? Look, it don't matter. OK but I don't know who he is. I don't know what he does. Is he a streamer? Look, it don't matter. OK, you don't know either. I know. Of course I know. He just feel dumb saying it out loud. It's just that we have we'll get connected.

We can talk about it. A level of white in this room. Where? Everywhere. It surrounds us. I don't think so. It coats us that I don't think so. It coats us. I think explaining the members of AMP and all their roles is a gargantuan task. I don't need you to explain. I think he asked a very simple question.

Yeah, but you know, you're referring to it as like Kai's group and I think it's just like... It says AMP Kai Sanat on Twitter Zippor, I wanna see the AMP Cypher Well ye ye but I'm saying that cause he's a part of it You just said ye ye No it's AMP Kai Sanat

But like that's Kai's name He put AMP before but What does AMP stand for? Uh, any means possible Oh that's kinda cool I kinda like that I think we should all get AMP tattoos Oh On our face And we should all get a and P tattoos

And we should post a photo like for life and then at Kai What is our DC Sam for I think it's like Real dreams come true. Yeah, and the tea is silent. I made that up. I literally made that up. No, it's something like- it's not- It's like- it's very close to that. Wait, that just means it's a good acronym. Because you got there. It's not real dreams come true. There's a- the T is before the C. But it is a T.

Real dreams... s- s- then come. Look, to your point, I'm not embarrassed about not knowing shit. And I'm not embarrassed about wanting to know more. Because I'm not condescending or anything. You should be. Because knowledge is power. So without knowledge you have no power. What the fuck?

Stop! And that's on Kevin Hart's verse. Which was fucking terrible. Anyway, so wait, were you like called up to do this basketball thing? I think he's last. He's after Kai. We have our foreign correspondent Aiden here. Anyway, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait chocolate drop is an amazing rap name We should do a cipher I've been saying this you've been right not do a cipher Why you don't hear Aiden's verse on the server watch all their faces as they listen to him

Fuck that, them not me? God damn, I'm mad. Oh shit, you sad? Well, it's time to get glad. Come on, let's get back. This sucks. He rhymed mad with sad with glad. That's so good. And then in the back, like, huh?

I feel the whole seafood. I'ma grab it. Why? This is my dog. I am him. I'ma go with W. Dude, rapping's hard. If you think it's easy, it's hard.

I don't think it's easy see I just thought he'd be better Yeah, I said what he's too talented to be this bad Like he spends his life writing We need Zipper doesn't even listen I'm gonna flip back Beat bops on beat bips and beat dips on beat bips And all that is me Not them, I am them Ooh shit, I'ma lie gonna think I'm done I can't, that's good

Alright, what'd he say? That's not real Aiden will translate Aiden translate He actually said, my money long Dude, that'd be so firefied, dude Dude, that's, that, I don't think that's anything long. So far, we did that. I don't think that's anything. Yeah, at least from my ability to hear the TV speakers, that was a that seemed a little

short. He ran the rush hour. A bit of a rush hour moment. Yeah, I think we should do a cipher. I think that'd be cool. I think you're genuinely think it's cool. You think that would be cool? You. I think that'd be cool. You genuinely think it's cool. Look me in the eye. You think that would be cool. You think me doing that would be cool. Well no, it wouldn't all be cool.

It can't all be cool. Okay, here's an idea. We all do a cipher. We only make one copy and we hide it somewhere in the world. We make it like, oh if you find it you... You want it to be like the fucking Wu Tang album? No, because they sold that like auctions Martin Screlly At his home office listening to the unreleased Wu Tang album and then

Streaming a spreadsheet to 42 people and listening to our so I'm down to the cipher if it has to be me and you so be It so be it If it's ifpher. No, I'm down to the cypher. If it has to be me and you, so be it. So be it. Is it a cypher if it's two people? If we're doing it, I'm doing it. My shit will also be crazy, cause I can write it. Is it free? It's not freestyle, right?

No. Well, no. No, you write it. You write it. Dude, a bunch of fucking smoke comes in at the end. You think we've all done it. Archie comes out and his British... Dude, he has like a UK drill part.

Marshmallow helmet on. Zeta some drill rap. Dude, this all sounds fucking cool and Aiden would suck at it. Oh, this would be so bad. Aiden, you could do like a... Because there's a couple guys in AMP who suck at rapping. Okay, yeah. And... It's probably all of guys in AMP who suck at rapping. OK, yeah.

And it's probably all of them, right? No, some are phantoms great. OK. But but one of them bad, he just he sings. Dude, he sounds good, though. I know. His verses, they're all in the back like, wait, what the fuck? He sounds really good. This is like their third or fourth I ever forget. But the first two, like he sucked.

And so he's like this time I'm singing and it was beautiful. Yeah, everyone angel sang dude. He was like they're all like whoa. That's cool Maybe I'll be like T-Pain. I'll surprise you off. I think you would have a beautiful voice. Thank you. Do you? Probably Okay, if I sing a note, can you match it? Oh He's nowhere near you He's been trying He's nowhere near you I don't know, I haven't it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I've been doing that I lessons wait so like if you hear know you can play it on the piano Are you singing it or she's like she has me like wait pause sing the song It's just you know jokes on you her husband's always there. That's good

him Ninjas wife was a piano teacher. He's just always sitting there His wife was a piano teacher. He's just always sitting there. He's just like, so? Well, you guys almost done it. Is it online? No, it's in person. Wait, she comes here? No, I go to her. That's you? What the fuck? I thought she came here because he has a little piano. No, that's what I practice on.

And then I sing the song out loud and then I try to play the notes. I'll be in my office and then I'll just hear... And practice the piano. Get your chords out? Scales. My chords. Scales. You do his little scales. My scales, yeah. You little freak.

Dude, Aiden produces the yard cipher. Yo. We get him on like a MIDI. Again, free loops. These are Zaytoven. He's like Patrick in fucking Spongebob Super Bowl. And he just comes out playing the keytar. He does it in rap as soon as.

Patrick plays the drums. Oh oh who's keytar? Isn't plated also wait screw the plankton hits what do you just fun about playing the keytar in the front? No guitar Plankton's on the piano vocals Yeah, but I remember specifically because he had the cool glasses Patrick. Yeah He's like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do. He's cool. OK. No, I think that.

Put it like, you know those quotes of like lyrics and shit? It's like, he's cool, Ludwig referring to Patrick's. He's dope. He's a cool guy. Anyway, I didn't score in the basketball game, but I didn't go for a shot. Ah, I see. You also.

I didn't try. I think maybe unfairly didn't go for a shot. Ah, I see. You also I didn't try. I think I think maybe unfairly didn't play a lot. No, I got like 15 minutes. You played for like four minutes. No, I got more time that I scrubbed the VOD. I never found a time that you were in the game. I played second, third and fourth quarter. For four minutes.

No, I probably played like maybe eight and a half. I think at a creator basketball league like that, because each team was like 10 people, wasn't it? Can I ask a question? Eight, yeah. Were they sleeping on a white boy? No, man. They had Julius Newman, I think.

He looked up Julius Newman. This guy was the number one prospect in high school. And why was he allowed in the competition? Because the competition is not like, oh, creators fun. Oh, it's like basketball. You tubers. So how did you make that? I'm confused. There seems like a weird disparity.

Why would you be in? You started playing basketball in December of twenty twenty three. I texted Mark. I told him I was the way LeBron. Yeah, this just in satellite feed. they were not sleeping on this white boy Yeah, oh no, you're cooked Yeah, they had a lot of really good hoopers. Hey this guy YPK Ray. He was amazing No, they people were dunking they half of them could dunk. It was half Mo there's two guys who played college like one of the guys on our team.

I asked him how long it took me to do a thousand threes. He's like, hour and a half. Dude, that's crazy. I was like, that's yeah, it took me similar. But no, they were all very, very good. Was it humbling at all? Like real shit. Were you like, hey, maybe I'm not as good as I thought it was.

It was no, no, because I wasn't like delusional. I didn't think I was like nasty, but it was definitely humbling being on offense and not knowing exactly where to go because there was whiplash because I played Saturday with them and then Sunday with our group. And it was like going from from war to playing Call of Duty online. It was our group is pathetic compared to the goat. Now, did you get some fucking game time and you level up? I know, because it's like I got in right now is making a face

that indicates that you are not the goat either that or his diapers full, which is the same thing as my rifle. No, I it's I came back and I was inspired I was like let's run a zone defense. Ha ha ha. It got destroyed. We picked apart the zone defense. They did not. The zone defense was like a frog in a biology class. They did not know how to run the zone defense.

It did not work effectively. Damn I kinda miss basketball. Where are you bailing? Last two times in the tattoo, or last one time. Oh, Rez tattoo. You can get back out there. But I'm gonna be back soon. Aidan's gotta quit. Also the heat.

I don't wanna play this fucking heat. Aidan's quitting basketball. I'm quitting. Really? You finally get fed up? I'm just gonna wait until my finger heals up and then I'm done. Oh. He keeps playing on his hurt thumb

and then it gets more hurt. It feels good today. He's like, I can't believe this. Dude, he came into work and he was like, I just been really dumb. I played basketball with my hurt thumb. And I was like, I was kind of dumb. And then yesterday he's like, yeah, I'm going to play basketball. And I'm like, you just said it was really dumb to go do it.

It is really dumb. That's all you do. But I. A dog, you're a dog with big. If there was a big ass kettle of food in there, you'd eat it till you die. Basketball has replaced what Valorant and Counter-Strike were in my life and I wanted to play so bad because I knew a lot of People were going but I'm just gonna I'm gonna be gone this weekend I'm gonna come back later and I'm gonna come back stronger than ever stronger than ever stronger than ever. I've been playing good Let's dub it. What we need to do is we need to get dubbing out playing with the randos.

I run pick up with the random people. It's fun. As the court felt three points lighter without me around. Without you. When it shakes, it drizzles. It actually was sick. OK, so shake, shake for. Shake is not going to basketball.

OK, hold on. Hold the phone. But Shake does have a surprisingly accurate three pointer. I would argue it's maybe the only thing he can do. OK, so ever we have a huge group yesterday. It's our biggest group we've had in in weeks. And Shake shows up late to like fanfare. He walks onto the court. There's there's like 12 people there already and we're like,

Oh, shake drizzle like everybody. Everybody's popping off and happy is there. Shake 70 percent from three drizzle, as I call him. And he doesn't miss. He subs into the game, gets a pass on the second play, pulls up from three, swish immediately. It was it was kind of it was fucking hard. That's what they do in the check.

They actually just shoot threes. They don't because it's like it's like they just have baseball there. They saw the movie once. They're like, let's do this. You know, she was so hot. But we play late after it cools down. It's not that bad. Cooled down a lot. I know it hasn't. It's so hot.

No, it's not. Last night was actually cold. I ran in the sun and I got sunburned on my lips. Kiss them and find out. They're crunchy. They're all cracked. Yeah. You soften my lips by kissing them for a month. Bro, it's 84, 83.

Bro, kiss me on my lips and feel how crusty they are. Is that what you were thinking about when you're hanging out with your sister? When you're with your sister and your mom and you're thinking about time you're thinking about kids Do you think about me and Nick and our? Don't want to think about something like random. So I you know I hear what you're saying like I hear the words Find out they're crusty, but I find out man. I'll find out man. All right. That's the yard That's how you lick my lips does back no no lip on lip just tongue on lips When this comes out chapstick, it's gonna be uh almost an expert day

So, you know, so you know what to do hug a loved one. Oh you did that I sure I guess I kind of said to hug a lot. I forgot what happens when I say that Yeah, you're gonna get a lot of really not annoying message You know, I got happy I get happy birthday messages like most days. What? Because of the episode. Oh, from way back. We say it's my birthday, people still, they watch it and they send me happy birthday.

I like that because it's an indicator of people watching the old ones. Yes. It's actually a good yardstick. Uh, I hate it so stop. Well, I'm not gonna say stop because then they'll do it. It's your birthday too, so why would they stop if it's really your birthday You're turning 31 Nope

28? Isn't that crazy? Damn You're gonna be 31 tomorrow 31 years old? 28? It's meaningless but it hurts It is meaningless

It hurts to be in my late 20s Whoa No don't 29 That's even later That's as late as it gets That's the latest 20 That's as late as it gets. That's the latest 20s possible.

You know, I'm going to. I'm a supple, supple 27. I can do anything. So well, no, I'd point out hairlines like 34. When 30 hits you, I want it. We'll talk. I got some shit that I won't be here. You're going to die. No, no.

We can talk on the phone. I'll be on a paramotor somewhere. Final message. Hello, Pharaohs. I've come to bargain. Thank you for watching the yard. All right, we're going to go. So wait, wait. Welcome to the yard.

Episode 179. Damn. He has one thing he is committed to doing, and he finally and he did it. It's off. You have to do it to get nominated for an Emmy. At the buzzer. Well, I'll be taking that from you. Anyway, we'll see you in the Patreon.