The Yard - Ep. 161 - Our BIGGEST fears...

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

This week, the boys talk about Trump and Elon's interview, ludwig is a thief at his local spa, and how we're having a kid...

We're in? Well, you swore. Not even Mic Check? You swore, so that's good. Alright, well let's talk to the criminal to my left, who stole- you stole from Wazebaugh. You stole those shorts. And he just rounds out my dude. I didn't know. Are you sure about this? I'm 100% sure. We talked to you working out. You said, I did know and I stole this shit. And I did that. You did say that.

No I didn't. You angrily said I'm getting my $30 worth. Am I the only one that thinks Aiden's a narc right now? I'm also a narc. Narc? He's just lying. Welcome back to the yard episode 1000. It's the Dogs Out episode.

If you aren't watching it live, we got we got four dogs out. How many years is that? It's a 20. It's like 20 and change. Yes. Look up Rooster Teeth podcast. They hit like 600 or some shit. Whoa. Dude, we should go until we beat them. Yeah, we're not gonna do that. You wanna go that long. 200.

One day we can close in on Joan. Joan Rogan? Yeah. Joan Rogue. I think when he dies, I can usurp the throne. When he dies it'll be a sad day because that's the day Woke takes over. That's true. And look who's Woke. He is like Atlas holding up... ...Baste. I'm his Woke Mirror.

I'm his Woke Mirror and I will replace him. And Baste will be eliminated across the landscape. Joe Rogan Sisyphus pushing... ...Anti-Woke up of what anti woke agenda of woke mountain. Yeah. So in this context, woke mountain, the stat left, woke mountain, the radical left. Now you got to get the Bernie Sanders, I guess. Well, someone let that happen. Why are you as a man?

Letting another man. Slava saying this in all circumstances. You'll look over Aiden, sending a message, be like, why are you as a man? Messaging another man asking for questions? Imagine Maiden T.Y.O. wrote the song is I got standards Diamond Bernie Sanders. Do you think he would have won the election?

No. That's also a way worse bar than Ned Flanders. I think this is worse. You know, my bro made the beat to that. You know, my bro made the beat to that. Your bro, I didn't know that? I didn't know that. That's like your homie from college? That's like your homie from college?

No. Oh, before that. It's my father, rest in peace, God. His best friend, son. This is like when I tried to brag to Swedish friends about how Americans set the cultural tone in music, and then they told me to look up Max Martin and my whole argument collapsed before my eyes. Why is he big? Max Martin is a massive producer who has made the music

for like every American pop star in like the last two decades. I wouldn't fight with Sweden music because they got bass hunter and ABBA. We have we have Jeff Buckley. He invented the Beastie Boys and now also Bobba the Boopie. He produced our whole shit. Bae-ba-doobie. Bop-A-Dop-Boopy. See, that's just gotta be racist.

How is it racist? Because you're calling her Bop-A-Dop-Boop-ity. Yeah, I'm speaking, that's your Italian name. Speaking family guy Italian is not racist. That's exactly what it is. How do you actually say it? Biba-doobie. Biba-doobie?

She's great. Okay, Ludwig have a problem. I want to address this. When Donald J. Trump goes, come all over me Harris. Did he say that shit? He comes all over my hair. He goes, come all over my hair. And I think it's wrong.

I think it's wrong. But he says that. That's racist. When you go earning it's bibbidi he says that. That's racist. You fucking want him to say it. You content sucking fuck. It completed your bingo card. You're like miss bingo on my stream. Bingo.

There was bingo for Kamala Maharas. I was playing Tekken and then I just listened to it as background noise on stream. And I locked in. I was playing Tekken and then I just listened to it as background noise on stream and I locked in. It was actually crazy. I was like five win streak. It is a crazy three hour convo, but the greatest part is when he goes, Kamala Harris, she's beautiful. Dude, it was crazy. Beautiful woman. It just blows me away.

And then Elon is just like stuttering and he's trying to like stay on topic and he's like, and yeah, I think that's right. I wanted to ask you about, I wanted to ask you about like electric vehicles. That's a good Elon Yeah, cuz he's fucking it dude Elon. It was in their pigeon for you. He wants some cuts Dude, it was cool. He wants some money back. It was wiping the cum off of his mouth. Okay. No I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. It's so crass. Yeah, it's such a crass way to put it. Dude, he's luring on his knobbering.

It's just so crass. But he was. Stop doing the crass thing. When you say it's so crass, people in the chat, they're like, you know what? They are being crass. I believe it. I'm not saying it because... And then you know what they say? I think Ludwig behind the scenes isn't really feeling this. It's crazy. I'm not feeling it. You're not even a fart. Right? Come on.

Come on, baby. Come on. You're not gonna be streaming hard. Come on, come on. That's awesome. Can't leave me. Oh, I thought he was gonna leave. Hey. The Yard podcast.

I have a problem. You're doing very well with that Patreon account. You know what? We have a lot of fun here in w crash out W crash out. I'm talking to miles He's like what is it W crash out? How can it be a W? No he did he did say he's like isn't a crash out inherently L And I was like no sometimes that's why I crash out Yeah, that's what I one would think

Anyway, Sekiro 2 is coming out pretty soon. Is it? Nope. OK, that's a fun lie. Honestly, Muggle Mail hasn't said anything about the Elon Trump interview yet. And I've been waiting because his silence is deafening. It's deafening. It's deafening, bro. His silence is deafening.

I want you all to eat them rocks that they put hot oil on without the oil. What's that? Just eat the whole. I spit them out. You're weirdly silent about how Ukrainian troops have moved into Russia. Yeah. Do you think it's a problem? Do you think it's a problem on nuclear warming?

It's worse than global warming. In fact, I think you're wasting my fucking time by talking about Mr. Beast when you could be reporting on on the war. Happening? After, okay, look, after the fucking Elon X Donald Trump stream, someone posted this on my Reddit. Can you pull it up, Zipper? Someone posted, that's all folks, like Bugs Bunny.

Well, this is the end. It's been a good ride. Been watching Ludwig for almost four years. Was very disappointed and unimpressed by his lack of political knowledge. And then it's a lot, I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but it is just basically mad at me because of my take. And then they drop a heritage.com link to educate me. Oh my God, dude.

And many other people might share this. Maybe even people watching it now. If you scroll down, can you get my reply? Oh, is it just a screenshot? I can't put it in my bag. He said no, he dropped a wake up in there. He dropped a wake up sheeple. What's his username?

No, don't fuck it out the username. What's his username? Don't out the username, we don't do that here. No, you should have to back this up. What's your username, bro? Don't out the username, this is hard to find. No, I want you to, I want this, hold on, show me his username.

We're not doing it. Show it! It's a screenshot. He just said that. You're freaking out. You're crashing out. I want this guy to explain. I want him to explain why inflation was lower under Trump.

I want him to explain why it went up. What I said to him is I said, thank you very much for your viewership. And I hope you have a great life. Did you? Yeah. My favorite part of the interview was when Elon was like, I named the cars Model S3Y and X because it spells sexy. I think it's a funny joke. Dude, no way. I didn't hear that part. Yeah.

That that makes me want to cringe into like a golf ball. No, Trump had some bangers. What do you call them? Beautiful. What else? He said he said I was talking to Putin and I was like, hey, you got to you got to stop this. And he said beautiful. What else? He said, he said, I was talking to Putin and I was like, Hey, you got up. You got to stop this. And he said, no way. And I said, way.

That was absolutely. And I was like, he doesn't miss. It sucks that he doesn't miss. Oh my God. Hey, that's the thing about the everything app is that it just keeps giving us. Dude, it did. I liked what he was like. It's like me and Kim Jong,

you don't wanna see what I've seen from that man. They respect him very much. Yeah, they said he's the man down there. He's the man down there. I'm sure. You don't wanna know what I've seen. No one was doubting that. No one was like, yeah.

I think in the North Korean context, people don't think he's the man. Do you see at the Paris Olympics, there was the North Korean team and there's a Kim Jong-un impersonator and he was going around in front of them as Kim Jong-un. They were not having it.

They were like stone-faced. I saw one girl smile. I don't know how she's doing now. No, I don't know how she's doing after that. But I was like, I was like, this is so funny. This can't happen. He gets a phone. She gets a phone call and he's just like, I was like, this is so funny. This can't happen. He gets a phone.

She gets a phone call and he's just like, you think that's just funny. So it gave you laugh at a giggle. I have a fucking giggle at that. He's a cockney guy. He's driving me this whole time. I'm going to fucking laugh. This is your fucking career. He's a not so high.

You feel good now? You fucking have a no Bobby at the Olympics. You fucking kidding me when you fucking come back to Pyongyang? Oh, your head. I'll kick your head in. It would be a better podcast if we were British. Everything. Yeah.

You know, to be fair, we're playing from behind by being so lame all the time. And yet we still soared to such great heights. Apparently, some people like the American accent. No. I only found this out because I was shopping in France. And I was talking French. And then the woman who was helping me,

I was with my family. She was like, are you Canadian? I was like, no, American. So I speak kind of like a six-year-old and then she said it's a cute accent but I didn't understand what she meant so I just said oh okay this is what I like. She just thought you were attractive and wanted to say something. And well I think she liked the accent. You look like Kyle from Street Fighter. That guy looks kind of unattractive. I think Lode's a French 7. No! With the cigarette in my mouth, it goes up a score. But I am a French.

Yeah. D buff French seven. Is this really? Dude, you French for I'm a French like him outside. It's evening cafe, cigarette in mouth. He's got the wife beater on and he's and it's 8 p.m. They don't wear wife beater. They don't wear wife beater.

They would have a no, but they you you have it on and you stand out. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's the thing about French people. Think about Europeans. They would have a full outfit. You have it on and you stand out. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's the thing about French people. Let's think about Europeans. They dress up when they leave the house. In Americans dress like they're always going to the gym or always woke up. Yeah, or they wear like shorts that they stole from like a bath house.

Yeah. To be clear, I did not steal these. When you go, let me finish. OK, when you go to Wee Spa, which I did in a viewer saw my penis. Shout out Raphael. They give you shorts and a shirt. Right. And yeah, and I wore them and I walked out with them on. Now, this is a checkup process.

You don't just sneak out. I handed back my wrist strap and they saw that I was wearing it and they didn't say sir You cannot leave with the shorts because then they would get fired from their job So they let you steal chase the shoplifter In front of the counter they can't see that we There's the deadlift bar was on the ground Aiden said are those we spot shorts you said yeah, bitch I'm I'm making money on these I am if you guys would like to buy them. It's ladies man 49 on eBay But I I didn't think he was stealing.

I thought like, because it's $30 you got to Wee Spot. I was like, damn, what a good deal. You get a free short and shirt. $30, like that's about how much it costs. I think you've already paid back the value and ambassadorship. That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just by talking about it this long with them on? Just by screaming at Bobby Lee. If not, it's your chance you see 80s or Bobby Lee's dick. You are selling it hard to the LA area. By talking about it so much on this show, every Ludwig fan is like, I could show up at WeSpa and there's a non-zero chance

of me seeing Ludwig's dick. Someone saw it. Raphael. It's non-zero. Raphael and he was a party dude. So anyway, I don't think I stole. I've been stolen from this past week though for my talk about that Excuse me racism

Classism someone stole racism from races. So was classes against you classes had the racism in this I did they give your racism back to you. So you think racist now? Judge me based off the class they thought I was in What do you think they were wrong or right about your class? Go ahead. Tell us what happened. We were playing basketball and this guy comes over. He's a blood bud. He said, yo, what's up, man?

So you playing you look good. You look good. I was like chill with all that. So you could be a movie. You should chill on me. Yeah, he said you look good out there like I was playing good. I was like chill with all that. And then and then he was like, oh, I'm playing tennis.

I just got here and it was like 8 p.m. It's like it's dark already. I'm like, kind of late. The lights are going to turn on. He's like, really? I was like, yeah, they don't turn on the lights on Sundays. He's like, oh, shit. He goes back over. Lights turn on for just the tennis players. OK, basketball players. Lights don't turn on. OK, explain it.

The tennis players have a button inside the court that operates the lights freely. Unlikely. Is this you being this usually outside this court's work? Yeah, because they give it to the tennis players because on average they're richer. Do you think there's a sort of a lack of electricity that is not being allocated to the basketball court? I think they just really are being fucking mean to the basketball players. Yeah. And they're classist. You're saying they want the basketball court. I think they just really are being fucking mean to the basketball players. Yeah. And they're classist. Classist.

You're saying they want the basketball players to get out. Do you think if we had shorts and a racket that went up our assholes and grunted every time we touched the ball, they would freak their little tits off and turn the lights on. You're grunting when you play. You know what? This is a very slime take from you. I think it's fucked up. Why don't they turn the lights off for basketball?

And the button argument, he came over. He just said, oh, yeah, they just turned on because it's not pickleball yet. Yeah, they need to draw the kitchen on the fucking on the ground. Was there other players playing tennis or just them? Someone else could have turned it on.

There were other people. There were other people. I think we verify this in very slime fashion. You are mad, even though you should have maybe checked to see if there's a solution to this But it's our solution every week is it doesn't turn on and now that's shattered So I don't know what to do What if we uh, what if we brought a generator and lights?

Ourselves dude, we do all the fucking heavy lifting. Yeah, I don't know man. I might need to stop attending basketball it's becoming a problem for who me I'm too competitive really get too competitive we had this guy I'll leave him unnamed mm-hmm I know could be anyone could be anyone could be anyone and I was getting mad and I was like this is unfair it's supposed to be basketball friends yeah but but you were getting mad but there was a best of three on the line they dribbled kind of like Stanley from the office yeah like you're trying to maybe like squash a bug on the floor did I dribble better or is this person better? No, no, no, chill, chill, they dribbled better. They're way better than you. They're way better than you. Oh, yeah. Miles better.

OK, not even closer. The sixth grader. They really? Really? Yes, they would. The sixth grader, not the fifth. They made a basket in the game. Yes. OK. Bet.

With their hands. With their hands. And so you get mad. It's fun. Ludwig was just getting a little riled up this week because he you you wanted to win the best of three, which I like. I like that there's a competitive spirit buried within me. Me and Stans got into it.

We were getting heated. You're yelling at Stan. Stan's gets mad at basketball. He does. Really? Yes. Why? I think when things get physical, he doesn't get mad. He gets even. OK. You hear a story get physical, he doesn't get mad, he gets even. Okay. You hear the story about how he towered over a guy and popped off and is like a random pickup guy?

What? No. We told this, didn't we? Did we? This is the one, the Aiden evil guy. Maybe I forgot. He said he did it. Yeah, is it the same person that you got mad at? Yeah, but it was the same guy that Aiden got.

Oh, it was the same guy. I thought this conversation was off the podcast. So you were just like kind of fucking you were you guys were mugging Yeah, they're mugging this like like No, I think it was generally generally it's a pattern of this happened much later he stands has been mugging We mug multiple times a week. We are muggers at our core Who why why did you foof? It made it way worse. It's just like a general response. It gets me out of it.

You know? Yeah. It says it says to the audience, I didn't like that. I left the party after it was set. So I realize that basketball is in the same place of my mind as Rocket League, where I really like playing it and it's really fun. And I like, I want to win when I'm doing it, but I care so little about when I don't.

And I'm happy to be in a casual mentality with it for the rest of my life. And there's not many games that I feel that way genuinely about. Most games, if I lose, I just get mad. Yeah, that's a good mentality. You'll be successful Nope Every game as he's ever played that I play also This guy the tennis player he also came up to us, you know, he's it wasn't he an audio engineer Oh, yeah, he did say our audience bed and he dropped a tip

He was like you guys got a round out the love. We got a roll off We got a roll off the lows got a roll off the lows Yeah, Archie roll off the fucking fucking lows Archie cuz people in the car when they hear this and we clap Have a fucking aneurysm Can we talk about what we just did off off before the pod we talk about that at all. That's fine That's fine. We played we played Walshy and halo. Yeah. Yeah, I was watching them play before you guys got here And I was like I think I missed out on halo It was fun. It was fun, and I didn't know that until now while she is an old halo professional by the way

Did you not play a lot of halo? I played a ton of Halo, but I never tried to be good at the core game. I just played a lot of custom games and like team snipers. I didn't play like I didn't ever like try to like it really good at like the core actual game or play like game battles or anything like that. I feel like pre Modern Warfare 2, Halo, Halo 3, Halo 2 was was like the game play. Like until Modern Warfare 2 came out. Yeah, 100%. That's when it changed from Halo to Call of Duty.

Like in the middle school zeitgeist. Yes. Or high school. I played 1, 2, 3, 4 ODST reach. I played all of them. I just never put it in that part of my brain. It was Call of Duty. I think that's good because it felled off.

What do you mean it felled off? I mean, to this day, we're still playing Call of Duty. And there's's good because it felled off. If we felt I mean today, to this day, we're still playing Call of Duty and there's like a league. Right. Sure, sure, sure. There's not a halo like league or if there is, I don't know. There's no, there's no, we don't know about it. It's small. I couldn't tell you a player. And that means it's probably the best.

Did you know all the maps? Like when we played downstairs, did you like know the maps? Oh, I know all the maps. Because I was like, I've played this game is shitload. Like I'm not good, but I I've played enough to understand the game. Aiden had never played. He was using basically never. I there have been times where I've gotten to play Halo for a few minutes.

But my knowledge, like the only map in the game I kind of know was the very first one that you played on. It's crazy. Your mom never let you play Halo. Why is that crazy? Because now she wouldn't care if you played Halo. That's true. She wouldn't care. The rules changed for my younger sister. It's also crazy that she is just as beautiful as the day she said to you.

No, you cannot play this game. Yeah, if anything, it kind of locked her beauty. You knew your fountain providing youth when she told us. There's some sort of like secret saber that is magical that keeps her young and beautiful all the time for me. Unless you disagree. My mom would have been so young when she told me that, actually. This is I think I think I'm trying to imagine the age that I would have been.

My mom would have been like 26. Wait, so you wait. What was the thing that you had a birthday party or whatever? I am at my cousin's pool party. It's like a big family reunion sort of event. And the dad who owns the house, like my cousin uncle, he he's a big gamer. He plays Call of Duty, plays Halo, the Xbox is downstairs and his daughters. My cousins play Halo all the time.

And all the kids want to go into the basement to play Halo on the big screen TV and I know I'm not allowed to. So I beg my mom to let me play Halo because I every all of the kids at this party except for me get to go downstairs and play and she said no and then the my cousin Mike or like my aunt like, even worse made all the kids play something else. Ha ha, no way. And that made me feel even shittier. Dude, that's crazy. Dude, we had to play like WarioWare or something. Wait, that's Beast. Oh, that's Turtle Game?

Everybody wanted to play Halo though. And it was like clearly sad or like mad that like they couldn't play Halo now because I was there. All because of your beautiful mom. Well, all because of you and your inability to consume M rated content. Even Beauty has its flaws. My inability to cope with the graphic violence of Halo multiplayer. Really not. I don't know how that game was M rated.

If that game came out today, it'd be T rated. Yeah, probably Guns, probably Blood, probably People Die. I think so. And genuinely, genuinely, probably people die. I think that game comes out today. It's genuinely genuinely. I think so much of it. So much of those games like think about COD, right? Even Call of Duty. So much of it has to do with what's in the campaigns.

I just feel like if Halo three comes out today, it's T rated. Isn't any game where you kill humans with guns that are somewhat realistic and rated, it's always going to know. But it's always going to be a problem in terms of the greater spectrum of like competitive gaming. Like Valorant has more trouble than Riot, or sorry League, getting certain sponsors. I would imagine maybe things have changed because of the presence of realistic guns. What rating is Valorant? Halo Infinite is T.

Oh. What is Valorant rated? Valorant's team. Like end of the day- Valorant? Halo Infinite is T. Oh, what is Valorant? Valorant is T. Like end of the day, you shoot people in the fucking skull. You shoot people in the skull and kind of a little bit of blood comes out. Even in the Chinese version. So it must be language based. I honest to God think it was just a different era where people on media chastise.

It's also realism, like Counter-Strike is M. Wouldn't it work in reverse? Wouldn't it be? Haven't we become a Woker? But I think there was a war against video games. Yeah, there was more of like a news cycle about like violent video games and shit like that. Are video games making our kids violent?

Now we're just making them gay. Obviously, like bowling for Columbine was a huge part of this. Investigating why the Columbine shooting happened. And they did make Doom maps. That's one of my favorite little cute little jokes is like, bro, is making Doom maps right now. Watch out. Because they did. Oh, it's just kind of funny. It says it. Well, it's just it's saying that they played

a violent shooter Doom and they made custom maps because they were like gamers and that may have contributed Yeah, the idea on the side of like video games are evil It's like this led them down the path of like shooting up a school I thought you're saying they made a custom map of the school and I was like, that's dark. I don't think they did That'd be crazy That'd be crazy That's like the kid who's like making the lava pits in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and just sending the skateboarder into it over and over again And stress like his teacher

But there's a there was a game that came out and it was shit was like 2006 or something. It was Call of Duty 4 Actually, no Russian was crazy. That was in MW2. But there was a game and it was an RPG, it was a turn-based RPG, I might have talked about this before, where you're actually the columnine shooters and you go into the school. It's actually very detailed. It's like 542, you know, you go, you pick up this item and shit. And you go and it's an RPG setting where you like get into a random encounter and you like kill a student. And then you get experience and

It's not meant to glorify it. It's more. Yeah super column by master RPG it is it is thought to be a sort of a Retelling of the event Crazy The exclamation point is crazy. Yeah, so so the idea, because I studied this, and I wrote a stupid paper on it in school, but the idea is that it's meant to be an examination of the event through the medium of a video game.

Rather than a documentary or a video or something, it's an active, ludonarrative experience of something that's historical that happened. Which is kind of interesting. I think about my discomfort with this. Like why I feel like this is bad, you know? Sure. But then I think about how I- This is crazy.

Yeah. This is crazy. I went to, it looks like a zone. So the question here is, is this art? Can this be considered art? Is the intention of it to be art? These are all questions like you can kind of learn about and investigate.

Dude. What age did you write an essay on this? I was 19 or something. Oh, college. art is the intention of it to be art. These are all questions like you can kind of learn about and investigate. What age did you write an essay on this? I was 19 or something. Oh, college college. I think there was a period of time there was this summer before I moved to SoCal where I just I wasn't working and I had a lot of time in my apartment and I was staying up late. I was this is when it was that poker summer and I was staying up to like 3 a.m.

all the time like playing poker with Magi and KJH, Klindy and that summer I watched the Netflix release this documentary about Ted Bundy like a docu-series and then I also was watching the show You, which is about like basically a serial killer killing these like women that he dates and stuff and I watched these things back to back I watched like the second season of You and this this true crime documentary and I started to have nightmares about serial killers coming into my home and shit Such a pussy dude.

Unreal. Unreal reaction. I think this is a fine thing Aiden. I'm on your side and continue Bunny stuff felt extra real at some point because he went to my school didn't really like lived Yeah, like the locations they talk about in the show where he killed people in Seattle were like oh Like I and or like he lived in the dorm. That was next to mine or the same graduating class. You're not even close. It's not even close.

But the thing, it made me think a lot. I actually haven't watched like any true crime stuff since that summer because it started to really like disgust and like disturb me. But a lot of people consume true crime with like with no guilt. Right. And I'm not saying they should feel something, but I'm just saying like, what is the differentiation between watching a nine part, nine hour documentary about that shooting, about these guys and playing that video game? Oh, I think I think probably the historical accuracy

and like what they're able to talk about in the documentary. I imagine. But you don't think a documentary is famously... Yeah, I don't think the game is inherently problematic, but it is a very delicate examination of a tragic historical event, right? I think the argument is like maybe the game is making you partake or misconstruing what actually happened. But I don't think that...

Does you being a passive viewer and indulging in the tragedy as a source of framed entertainment, which it certainly will be in a documentary, how much better is that really? I would argue that a documentary isn't necessarily a framed entertainment in terms of... Because it's documenting it, right? I would say a movie, a movie is different. A narrative experience. Yeah, like the Zac Efron place said movie. I do kind of agree with you. Like I think like the Zac Efron fucking movie or like the,

the Dahmer show that they made are worse, right? Cause you're kind of like mysticizing and like fictionalizing It's a spectrum. this, this event. But watching documentaries is kind of like readingicizing and like fictionalizing this event. But watching documentaries, kind of like reading a book. No, but that's that's where I disagree is like, I'm not saying necessarily this specific Ted Bundy documentary. I think you can tell a neutral story through a documentary.

But documentaries naturally have narrative framings and skewing of details, especially when they're about more mundane things, I would say, that are like less electrifying on their own, that the director of the documentary is crafting a narrative by like taking details and distributing them or like displaying them in a certain way, right? Sure.

In order to make it compelling or... That's a human thing. It's not a news report. Sure, I mean, documentaries are like, history works off of primary sources, Right? In order to make it compelling or... That's a human thing. It's not a news report. Sure. I mean, documentaries are like... History works off of primary sources, which are like the data, you know? It's like driver's licenses and things that physically actually happened. And then like, you become a secondary source when you take all of that and turn it into

a story. At the end of the day, it's all a story. I mean, I think... When we talk about Hitler and Rome and shit, it's all a story. The worst version is like a YouTube video essay that's just pulling headlines as a documentary. Yes, I agree with that. And then the best version is like the documentary

that fucking got that guy to confess he murdered a bunch of people. What's that? Yeah, yeah, the one that went crazy viral. Yeah, it was just this serial killer and they had the guy and he was, he like basically admitted. Was it making a murderer?

Yeah, I think so. I never watched, I just knew this thing went viral, but like I assume that's like the best case from a documentary is like you find out what happened. Yeah, and a previously untold story gets revealed to you and a right is wrong or wrong is righted. But I find a lot of women watch true crime. Why the fuck is that? I found out. What is their problem the fuck is that? I found out. What is their problem?

You found out. I found out. I talked. I talked to them. You talked to the women and found out why they want you. Did some exit polling. I did some act. I talked to the delegation of women. OK. OK. The reason that they watch true crime is a way in a way, defense

of what not to do. Oh. You know, because like how did this person get serial killed? Why are you as a man? Don't eat butts of humans I've just killed. No, it's not to not be the serial killer. It's not to be the... Don't murder.

No, it's like, you know. The toes are better with salt. There's like some stuff that's like maybe common sense, maybe not common sense. But this is the this is the guy at Durst who revealed. Oh, my God. He had a microphone on and he said, I kill them all. Yeah, that's funny. But yeah, I think I think it's it's to find out. At least that's what QT told me is to find out what not to do,

because I don't like watching him, but I think they make her feel some comfort. Wait, so he can. Oh, I do not think that we do. Look, maybe feel free. I would love to be corrected, but I do not feel like the bulk of viewership for true crime documentaries have their notepads out. Well, it's not. But you don't have to have your notepad out to be like, oh, OK, like, hey,

most serial killers go to unlocked homes. I think you might possess an increased sensitivity to macabre things when I think a lot of people like I can watch a documentary on World War Two or the Holocaust or a serial killer and be intrigued in a way that's like, damn, that's crazy. And I don't I don't really scream. Yeah. But you seem to scream. No, I don't. I don't. I don't mean to say I also don't mean to bring up this point that I think the like

all media about something bad is necessarily like unethical or something or that people shouldn't be watching it. I think I just got to this like it felt too real and it really stuck in my psyche. And I just yeah, it made me particularly squeamish. I don't know why, like, because I've watched fucking documentaries about, you know, horrific things in war. And it doesn't make me, you know, it didn't make the phantom Ted Bundy

appear in my head because they were brown. And they were not a color comment. There's not the same color. Do you freak out when white people are killed in? I'm sure. Yeah, yes. I've never seen you freak out. Have you ever seen freak out? I haven't seen a freak out. I just have a nightmare that a Gundam would come to my house

and slay my mom with his big Gundam. Really? It's kinda cute. It's so different from a Gundam. I'd wake up and I'd check her room and I'd be like, Thank God. Gundam didn't come. This guy, dude, this guy in high school, he would always,

anytime there was a big loud noise or something at this school, he'd be like, It's a Gundam! He'd say the Gundam? He'd say the Gundam and he made sure to say it just like that. He didn't talk like that. It's a Gundam! It's a good way to say it, bro. My recurring nightmare as a kid was I was in my front yard

and there was a spider web between two palm trees that I would accidentally run through. When I'd run through it, I'd get stuck to it. Like, you get stuck to them in the Spider-Man. Oh, yeah. And they had a property where if they touched you, not only were you stuck in them, you no longer could scream. And then a spider would crawl towards me that was like the size of like a basketball

I couldn't scream and then when it got to me I'd wake up well well well isn't it interesting the spider was the size of a basketball and not of a large vehicle like a bus and how that's more terrifying I don't know if the point is made I don't think no I remember this but I think if he was the size of the bus it'd be scarier. It'd be scarier? No! No.

Hold on, hold on. Your dream in this is the scariest version. The basketball dream? Okay, what if the spider had a gun? That's scarier. That is sweet. I didn't have that dream. No, that'd be funny.

That'd be funny. What? That's a funny dream. Bro, you told me the spider was the size of a basketball. What if it was two spiders coming from both directions? Are they synchronized? Does that make it funnier? Which one's scarier?

If they're not, because it's chaotic. Then they're not. If you're joining us after season 2 of The Yard, what's this reference? When we were on the show, and I said, this was like four weeks ago, and I said, I think a basketball-sized spider, like a spider that's this big and really fast, is scarier than like the Aragog-sized spider that's in like Harry Potter. That's like a bus. That's like a bus-sized.

I believe I probably said this was dumb, which I agree with. And then I was told by all of you that I was stupid. I'm listening to you right now and thinking you're stupid. I think you're right. Yes. I'm listening to you right now and thinking you're stupid. I think you're right. Yes. I don't know. I don't remember this. His point is that my nightmare must

be the scariest form of that dream, which inherently disproves the idea that if the spider was bigger. Which is a flawless argument. It is flawless. It means that I think very highly of your dreams and your ability to craft nefarious. I do create amazing narratives. Because why would your brain, your lovely, talented, shiny brain come up with anything

but the scariest thing? Why would it waste its time? Interesting, interesting thought. You know on the subject of serial killers, I would watch America's Most Wanted as a teenager, which they like, it's the guy and he would explain what happened. He's like, this is a serial killer. He's fucking scary. And they'd have reenactments where he like goes into someone's house and kills them. And like, if you see anything about this guy, here's what he looks like. And then I watch it and then would be terrified that that guy is gonna come right there is gonna come through my window and eat my butt and cook my butt in a fucking oven like that one guy.

That guy there's a guy who ate kids butts. I was scared of scarabugs is that what they're called? The green bugs that are like scarabugs. Scarabs? Like the fat ones? Like in the mummy where he goes in that guy's head. Like the ones that are kind of shiny? Yeah.

Yeah. That guy who dies in the mummy by the scarab going into his arm and then his brain and he runs into a wall and his head cracks, that guy is named Omid. And Omid from Melee, who is a friend of ours, he said, I know that guy because he's the most famous Omid ever to exist. Wow. I used to do that with Ludwig's. Yeah, right?

Just look up different Ludwigs. So you eclipse them all, except for that big one? No, Ludwig Gorinsons, he's big. He's pretty big. He's big. And then there's Ludwig, who is in Vikings. I haven't heard of him. He probably recognized his face.

No. He's big. We kind of have like a big three going on, kind of like a rap scene. Are you the J. Cole of this shit? No, no, no, no, I would throw myself. I like the Kendrick Lamar You're the Drake though. You think you're the Kendrick? Yeah, I'm probably the Kendrick Lamar Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And then what is Beethoven like the fucking like Beethoven? No, he's

Beethoven's cock? Yeah, he's like Sugarhill Gang. It's like really old shit Yeah, rest in peace Beethoven Yeah Aiden, you look hungry man. You always's like really old shit. Yeah, that's Rest In Peace Beethoven. Yeah. Aidan, you look hungry, man. You always look hungry. I'm so hungry. Why are you always so hungry?

Do you want to eat something oishidesu? Oishidesu? I got it. Itadakimasu. Do you want to eat something protein desu, Koff? Yeah. Well, bitch, listen up. Listen up, bitch.

I have something for you. It's called Factors Delicious Ready to Eat Meals. Because you can't cook. You can't cook, man. We know it. You can't cook. Let Aiden cook. Nothing happens.

Literally nothing happens. Here's my plan. Aiden, cover your ears. I have created an idea called the Factor Man. And it's me, and I have a factor tray that the delicious food comes in, and I have eye holes cut out of it. Aiden's in a dirty bathroom somewhere.

Hey, what's he saying right now? Nothing. Nothing, man. And I come in and I'm the factor man and I whip, I throw a factor on the ground and it's hot. I only heat it up for two minutes. It's delicious. And then he has to eat it without his hands. He's just really hungry right now.

Two minutes is pretty fast for a full meal with all your protein. You can take your muscles off. Hey, believe it or not, full meal with all your protein. You can take your muffs off. Babe, believe it or not, that's Chef Prepared Meals delivered straight to your door and they have breakfast, lunch, and dinner by Factor Man. Factor Man will come straight to your door and heat it up for you. Who's Factor Man?

Well, you don't need to know about that. You don't need to know, it's like a whole thing. And if you had to choose, would you pick keto, calorie smart, or protein plus? Ooh, protein plus. I'm getting big. That's a lie, because you don't eat enough. You're trying to get big.

You're trying to get big. Yeah, but like, you don't eat enough. The're trying to get big. You're trying to get big. Yeah, but like you don't eat enough. The thing is you don't put the protein to work and the Factor Men will change that. Me personally, one protein shake, one protein bar, two Factor Meals. Uh oh, I've hit 100. And you might think, oh, microwavable meals. What is it, like a kid cuisine?

No, dude. There's like filet mignon in that. That John. The filet mignons are yummy. And I would mix it up. Don't just get seven chickies. I would go for the filet mignon. I even like sometimes the fish.

I will say, you say no kid cuisine. There has been penguin meat entrees that they have. They're very special. Not true. What is true, though, you can go to FactorMeals.com slash the yard 50 and get 50% off plus 20% off your next box in your subscription. Doesn't seem viable economically economically How are they making any money?

Money hand over fist and it's your job to contribute to that by using this deal the art You want to take the money you can go to factor meals comm slash the art 50 They've got this thousands to tell you to try it so you might as well Do you might as well because what the fuck's the money for then? America's number one ready to eat meal kit. Factor. Yummy. I had a, I went to a new school in sixth grade, and there was immediately another kid named Anthony.

And I was like, you got to be fucking kidding. Yeah. It was crazy. But I didn't grow up with any Anthony's. I was the only one. What's the most popular kid name right now? Because they moved on from the OGs. Isn't it?

No one's dropping by. I think it might be Aided. No, it's Cashton. Aided is super popular. It's Kaylee with three H's and four G's. Yeah, it's A-gon with a Z at the end. It's Kaylee. Kaylee Cashton brought to you by Erawan. Most popular baby names 2024. All right. For men, it's Noah, Liam, Oliver, Elijah and Mateo. Mateo's crazy. There's no way Mateo's up there. Ezra? Damn, Asher at 9? Dude, these are all Tekken characters.

I don't actually believe this list. Actually one of our friends has an Asher. How is Asher off and Ezra the weird guy who plays the Flash on here? Why are you as a man looking at other men's names? I'm looking at girls. Where is where is Mohammed? Amelia. I don't know. I should be on there. I don't think this is no America. We go global. Mohammed is I think this is most written on a star. It's right there. Fifteen. Oh, well, is it for a while?

Fifteen. And it's America only. There's more Henry's than Muhammad's. These look like the default names in like an NPC like shooter. Of the many children that I know, not I know a Hudson and Elias. Back up, back up. I wish I didn't say that. Why are you as a grown man? Right.

Dude, it's my nephews. These are all CSGO bots. Muhammad Bot, Eli Bot, Mateo bot. Daniel Mateo. Oh man. You know what? Why don't we collectively have one kid? I know we talked about the Pokemon fight.

You just don't want to have a kid. No, I want to have one with all you guys. I know. You just want to pawn the responsibility to somebody else. No, I want to share it. I want a 25% stake in this kid. If we all had one kid, what would we individually bestow upon it? You wouldn't commit. That's why you're scared.

You would commit 25% of your debt. You would hate to spend 25% of your debt. But I would do it. And I'd make sure you know I hated it. It's not you committing 25%. It's four of us committing 100%. Thank you. Thank you, Dad of the Year. Also, she comes first, so... That's bullshit, because then the kid's getting 400% dads.

Yes, he should. That's bullshit! No one deserves that. Yes he does. No he doesn't. Why not? Because he's our child and we love him or she. We get one hundred... or they. 400% dads.

We get 100%. Give me that they them kid. I'll take a they them. You can get 25% to a they them. That's like a wretch in Dark Souls. That's gotta be racist. It's not. They just have, they just have, you can, all the stats are at the lowest base

so you can level them how you like. And that's how he, and that's one of our fathers. That's one of our fathers. I remember when he said that. I remember when he called you a wretch. You weren't even born yet. We'd be the Mount Rushmore of raising a kid. Oh dude. All time? All time.

All time, and four guys made of rocks. We'd have a real shot at being the best quad dads of all time. I'm really for serious. It's like speedrunning a unique, like, NAS game that sold like ten copies. So we could realistically come out on top. Uh, boy or girl, I'm teaching my kid to eat box. That's what I'm bestowing. What are you guys bestowing? At what age?

Yeah, at what age? That's so weird. It's so weird. Isn't that crazy? It's so weird. We're going to Scooter's Jungle in Orange County. There's no way to the trampoline park. It's crazy, he's digging the hole.

And in front of all of my kids' friends, after they've gotten their party favors. Right. In VR, because it's the future, so we'll all be in VR. You're on X. We'll all be in VR. I'm Trump, and Trump's there. You're Trump, you're Cyborg Trump. I'm teaching my kid how to eat box.

What are you teaching the kid? I'm teaching my kid to fucking ignore Nick. That's what I mean. What I want to show is how to put on earmuffs. That's what the woke parent wants to teach. That cancels it out. So now he's only getting 200% deaths. So now it's me and you.

So it's me and you. What are you teaching the kid? I'm teaching the kid, I'm teaching the kid how to win friends and influence. It's me. I read that book. I'd probably teach my game, the intergame of tennis or maybe... I would teach my kid art. And I would say also learn... No son of mine

is gonna be an artist. Yeah, Slime teaching his kid art. So if it's funny, you're gonna like it. And if it's not funny, you're gonna not like it. I can bestow my warped value system onto them. That's what parents do. That's what most parents do. No, that's not true, cause my parents did not possess this value system.

And if Lovik just loves the kid, we're set. We have basically all bases covered. That's what most parents do. Whoa! Yeah. No, that's not true because my parents did not possess this value system. And if Lovie just loves the kid, we're set. We have pretty much all bases covered. We have a lot of coverage. You have to pump in all the love. I'm teaching my kid first and foremost. Whoa. Pause.

I didn't... Why are you... So now we have to do the work of undoing your name. I'm sorry. I didn't... You're gonna do what? I wasn't even trying to make a joke. Okay, cool, weird.

Stop talking about our kid like that. Weird, weird. I think I would teach our kid how to fish. Live off the land. Real dad shit. Live off the land. Yeah. You know, be able to-

With the same technique I'm bestowing on them. You know what I mean, Lud? Me and you. You talking about catching a fish? Eating boxes, it's the same art. Nah, cause a fish? Eating box? It's the same art. Nah, cause I'm actually talking about catch, kill, clean. Fish, yeah, you all be fishing, I be tackling box. And that's all we got.

And that's all we got. I'd actually teach our kid how to be fucking normal. No you wouldn't. I'd teach our kid how to fucking. Yeah, you don't want to get friends like Diesel Derrick and like Hot Dog Steve or whatever my friends are called. Hot Dog Harold Diesel Derrick. I'd introduce him to Uncle Hot Dog Harold

and Uncle Diesel Derrick. Hey, this is Pizza Boy. He's your godfather. Yeah, no I didn't meet him at a wrestling convention. This is just a friend I have. He's Pizza Boy because when Ness ta haunts it looks like he's spinning a pizza Why is it diesel derrick diesel derrick because he smokes that only drives diesel I I think we'd our kid who are can we turn out? Okay, of course he turned out

Okay, we have a strong value system. Yeah, maybe we know right from you know what real shit I like my uncle. He's taking me fishing. Oh, no, and it was Uncle Tyler's here Uncle Tyler. Uncle Tyler. What's up? Yeah, yo what hey uncle Tyler. What are we doing today? I'm seven. How old seven? Get behind the one F-150. I get to you to drive to push this shit out of the mud I got to suck out back come on you F-150 you push It needs to blow into the thing yeah, yeah start the car

No, if it starts to slip back, and you just fall back into the mud. I'll slip right over you All right kid blow into the number game like you always do wow great number You always win it's like golf low is good. I was good I think fishing taking your taking your damn kid fishing is a lost art. That's good. That's like treasure childhood memories No, it's been it's been stolen by the right. Oh Then the woke is taking back fishing this year. Lustists can fish don't be afraid No, they can't but we're taking it back this year great take back. What's ours? I love that worldwide fishing day. Oh

Maybe that's not good for sex. That's every day and that's on we're just wants to give fish impossible bait Dude made of soy. Oh, they want to give our instead of plastic like they love Yeah, and the fish actually just like it and then we give them back to the water. I just want the numby fish Oh, this is yummy. Dude our kids gonna have so much microplastics in them. Oh On purpose I want to be magneto and like magneto all the microplastics out of his body right? Right change yesterday cuz cutie. She's been farming. She's been planting. She has a garden. Well really there's a garden That's fine. She's been farming. She's been farming. Okay. She has a garden. That's fun. She's been farming? She's been farming.

Okay. She has a beautiful garden. I think gardening is not farming. I think- Cancel me. If you make a plant like corn, you're a farmer. I think if you listen to a band like corn, you're a legend. I think- I think unless you're using a fucking plow, it's not farming It's so poor farmers aren't farmers. No if they can't afford a plow and they have to do with their hands

They're not farmers They had to afford plows for like 400 years Oh so 600 years ago what'd you call them? When the years had BC after it they had plows Things like I called them my wife Who does it which farmer do you know that doesn't have a plow? My lady. It's like a crucial element.

Farmer James. OK, so cutie. Fight that. Cutie's a gardener. She's a gardener. She's a gardener. Don't I ever call her a farmer again? She's a farmer.

And we had our first harvest of the season. One cucumber. Did you put it in a big gourd, like cone? Yeah, we needed a whole plow for the one cucumber that she pulled, the first cucumber. One Cucumber. Did you put it in a big like gourd? Like cone? Yeah, we needed a whole plow for the one cucumber that she pulled the first cucumber. And ate it, no microplastics. How do you know? Because she grew it in her garden. Where would they come from?

The ground. The water that you used. And the water, and the fluoride, and did you listen to Vinnie Paz at all? It's like you didn't listen. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Okay, dude, you have a lot to learn. Go on, go on. So, okay, so you have a credit card's worth of plastic

in your throat right now. No, you guys sound like QT now, cause QT did that. She was like, we have to move the white, she was going through shit, we have to change the house. Okay. And she's like, my brain almost thinks about these things. She's going through and it's like, yeah, we have to fix this wall, there's a hole.

I'm like, okay, to repaint this. I'm like, okay. QT's logic is funny. QT sometimes will be like, yeah, we gotta fix the wall cause blue is red. And I'm like, okay, to repaint this. I'm like, okay. Cutie Lottic is funny. Cutie sometimes will be like, yeah, we gotta fix the wall because blue is red. And I've like convinced myself that blue is red. Yeah, she's going through them and they're all normal. But then she goes to the last one,

she goes, yeah, the wifi routers near the vitamins can't have that. And I'm like, oh, pause. Yeah, pause. Cause that one is different. I saw a documentary and down is up. She, I would say being like, there's a hole in the wall,

we should fix that is very reasonable. No, say being like there's a hole in the wall. We should fix that is very reasonable. That's what I was saying. They were all reasonable until the wipeout router. You started the whole example so incredulously, but then immediately gave an extremely reasonable example of something somebody would like to fix. I'm saying it was all reasonable until the one that's I felt

the same way. I was doesn't want the router near the vitamins. Why because it infects it. You know, listen to Vinnie Paz, I guess that's I felt the same way. I was it want the router near the vitamins. Yeah, why cuz it infects it You know listen to Vinny Paz, I guess that's true, bro. I've been caught caught to listen to VD Wow, that's like a fucking Jill Stein interior design the only VP I follow is Vinny Paz who the fuck is Vinny Paz? It's a rapper. He's a white Italian rapper.

Jot that down. And he talks about microplastics? He talks about Bohemian Grove and fluoride in our water and all that base information. You're probably right. Fluoride is putting your mind in a coma. I don't know, I watched a video of a guy- That's not far off. I watched a video of a guy eat uranium.

Uh, that's crazy. Did he come? That seems bad. Yeah, well his whole thing is like, it's not that big of a guy uranium that's crazy that seems that seems bad yeah well his whole thing is like it's not that big of a deal I swim in the pools where they cool down the uranium things okay he's capping no is real and he had a Geiger it was like in the 80s like a Geiger counter or whatever I think what you should you go deep it's bad but if you stay above in the surface it's not bad bro ate it for real

He put it in his mouth and he brought the Geiger detector to his mouth You know it depleted uranium is like so there's this big like scare about we use depleted uranium bullets And it makes you think it's like oh it gives them radioactive like poison when you shoot them. It's just really dense That's all hi science in here science in It's cool science a den Cool size in is God real God

Could be oh, that's good enough for me. I feel he's bad at science cool. So yeah, when did the universe begin? Oh? 5,000 years ago Young life on Wednesday That I can't go. So I didn't. That is when my youth group was. Yeah. It's always a Wednesday. Yeah.

Don't know why. I don't know. I think radiation is one of those things where, you know, like people that helped clean up Chernobyl, who are around it for weeks, like some of them still lived until like their eighties and nineties. It's like, it's weeks, like some of them still lived until like their 80s and 90s. It's like it's kind of like your

every bit of radiation is like your your kind of coin flipping whether or not it's going to damage you or not. You know, you don't have this guarantee of it fucking you up. It just increases the likelihood of you being fucked up. You know, that's how we when we purify wastewater from poop. The last stage of it is running it through UV light. fucked up. You know that's how we when we purify waste water from poop the last stage of it is running it through UV light so it makes the bite it it mutates the DNA of the bacteria in the water so that it can't multiply. So we're just

drinking bacteria that can't fuck yeah and it just goes through us which is kind of funny it doesn't kill them necessarily it just makes it so they have no balls. Wow I've seen I've seen a study that some people who drink radiation just get good at Donkey Kong And here we are you started the sentence sounds like Nick's never seen a study The fuck would look at a study Looked at a study I want to say so recently, but I guess I can't think of one. Chill Queens Gambit, what are you looking at? I study chess?

Woah. I study chess. You study chess? Yeah. You study the bomb cloud? No. No, no. You still playing?

I have retired. Okay, so you're not studying chess? He's not playing. I have. You said last time. Oh, okay, okay. In the past. You also retire all the time Everything you say is captain. I'm actually so good about things. I say I'm not doing

What I think I I looked at a study about misconceptions about sugar consumption and how it often, like when you eat sugar, you end up eating a lot more of the thing that has sugar because of the way your body likes sugar. And it's not that sugar necessarily is inherently alone bad for you, but you need so much more of it to fill up and stuff like that.

I've got to say about that. You went down a nutrition hole. Yes. I lost my last hole was nutrition. It's a good hole. Find yourself inside. And the Xbox logo turns around. Happy Easter Xbox.

At the wedding I was at, the days in the lead up, a lot of the people at the wedding are just chilling at this pool at the resort. And the bride's family is very nice. I've met them before. I get along with them well. And she has an aunt there that I have not met before and her aunt is Like mentally handicapped. She's you know, she's obviously like dealing with something. I don't think they have a specific diagnosis I was told that like they never they never like look they just let it rock. They let it rock basically and

She's very sweet. If this shit ever happens to me guys, let it rock. All right Okay, I'm with that. Yeah, if ever happens to me guys, let it rock. All right. All right, good. I'm with that, I will. Yeah, if it ever happens, let's let it rock. Yep. That's what I said. That's what I said. That's it.

She has this, dude, she fucking has this cool ass mullet. She's like, just this woman in her 60s, and she's like very chill, and she's just like very happy every time you have a conversation with her. And I'm sitting next to her while I wait to get food and she asked for my number so she could put it into WhatsApp. True. And I'm like, yeah, absolutely.

Like, and she puts it in, you know, thinking that, you know, this weekend, maybe she'll shoot me like a text or something or like, and that'll be the end of it, kind of. She lives in Florida and she I don't know the specifics, but she goes to like a program every day or something where she goes and like does activities or she was she was explaining that. So out of the blue, I've I've mind dumped this. I've I've forgotten that for the most part that this happened. And I'm at a cafe and I get a phone call from a number in Florida. And I pick up and I just hear this voice on the other line that I don't recognize.

And she's like, Aiden. And I actually I'm a little worried because I feel like, dude, did I just like respond to like a random fan or something? And and then I was like, yes. Hello. Like, who is this? And she's like, it's Marcy. And I was was like, yes, hello. Like, who is this? And she's like, it's Marcy. And I was, oh, that's wonderful. And she walked me through her whole day.

Like, we just talked for like 15 minutes. And she just told me like what she's doing today, what she's doing tomorrow. And I'm telling her about my day. This is beast actually. And then we say we hang up, say goodbye, two days later, calls me back. On the character select screen, it's Soon-La, illustrious, and then the second character opens. The new dream app is Soon-La, Marcy, and two of us.

Lily Pichu, Wizrobe. Oh, Jesus. Soon la marcy and two of us lily peach you lily Beast episode Heavy I don't know if you've caught this a few times He slime has me in the middle of the room of us He's slime look at his phone and be like like like he's announcing that that Trump got hit with 34 charges he's like Lily Pichu's learning a new techie character? Don't do this, no. This is different.

And in the middle right before this episode you were like dude Lily's learning Lily's working on Nina! No she's not no she's not she's working on Alyssa which is important to know. It's just funny because you exclaim it to a room full of people who don't play Tekken. Don't understand. Like it's breaking news. It is breaking news! Like we're hanging on the edge of our seats. A guy who desperately wants someone to ask about stuff he's into.

Oh my god. I didn't want you to ask. Oh wow. That's why I say it unsolicited. Tekken really? Anyone? So it's the Lily. I can't believe she switched off of Lily because that's the same as her name. Elicited tech in really

Now cuz that's a rotten bitch thing to do whoa No, you don't know this character is fucked she don't fuck with you like that. It's a fucked character Bitch based off her actions just to be. Her action is maining this character. But you're calling her a bitch based on her actions. I'm calling it based off her personality. And that's the difference between us. Do not align yourself with me ever again. That's true. That's true. Thank you.

All right. That's pretty true. You know what? My my my apology. Seven paragraphs. Well, you hurt your apology. Seven paragraphs. I can't s- Well, you hurt your back. I did. I'm a- I'm worried about you. I know it's all you're thinking about. Wait, did you hurt it today? I hurt it dead lifting today, yeah.

We did do it just an hour ago. Why didn't you use the new cool bar? I should've. I should've. I should've, Aiden. There's a gym culture that tells us that hex bars or are for basically weak weak humans frankly a Bitches in Jim culture. Okay. Why I don't know why I wish I made the fucking rules It's just a thing if I made the rules it'd be cool. I don't know who ordered the hex bar honestly Why are you as a man ordering the hex bar to the mobile? Moves came out was cam right?

Hmm. I think it was cam cam ordered the heck came order Hex bar. Yeah, I'll talk to him. Feels like a thing a man would do. We'll talk to him. Nah, nah. Didn't you be wrong? Dude, you hear someone die to the CrossFit Games? No. Yeah, in the ocean.

On video. We drowned? What? Yeah. Yeah, it was like at the finish line. They have a cameraman who's filming it. People are crossing. There's this one dude.

He's like swimming. Then he's struggling. And then they like zoom out and flip because you go from like this Swimming section to like a running eventually biking section or something and so they're doing this pivot as they pivot the dude goes underwater Never comes back up dies like 15 feet away from the finish line. Oh my god. That's terrible I think he just think a lifeguard just like didn't notice or jump in. Was it like a heart attack or? No, he just, he's straight on. No, don't show it. I don't wanna see it.

I don't wanna see it. No, it's not. It is sad, it is sad. But anyway, you don't see him like drown cause the camera pivots, but he just, he, that's the guy and he goes down, you know, and then he comes back up. Dude, what's the cross-fade?

Wait, do you have lifeguards? Both of those are lifeguards. Yeah, they dismissed it, they fucked up. They didn't do their job right. Damn. Dude, that's awful. I didn't do their job right. Damn. Dude, that's awful. When I first saw this, I didn't notice the lifeguards in the water. In my head, all lifeguards were at the top of a big chair. Right, right. They must have a chair somewhere to sit down on.

White on their nose. Yeah, they were wearing a buoy. I did not see that. That's even worse. No, yeah, it was horrible. It was crazy. They fucked that up. What's the CrossFit Games? It's like people who do CrossFit compete and they have a bunch of regional events. Oh, they make it like a competition. Yeah, it's pretty competitive. It's like, you know, they get at it.

They fucking... CrossFit's so washed. Uh, it is, I think, good high heart rate workouts. So washed. We don't do high heart rate workouts. They're good for you. Excuse me? We don't do high heart rate workouts. They're good for you. Excuse me? We don't do high heart rate workouts. I do high heart rate workouts.

Loving my friends every day. I saw us workout. We worked out together. Yeah, I did. We both took three minutes of rest, and you sat in front of a fan like a old sage warrior. Oh, I was doing it. I had the sailor hat on.

I forgot I had it on. I know you had it on because I touched it, and it was soaking. You had the sailor hat on and only your underwear and shoes. You can't be in only your underwear. How would I deadlift him? Jeans? And shorts! You should bring stuff to deadlift. He sprung it on me. He's like, we're deadlifting today.

You should just take your hat off when you get sweaty because you had that one graindeath hat that looked like Venom was taking over it. I still have it? Dude, it's gross. It's in a box somewhere. I use it to remember. You should be a headband guy. If I ever did like, I was thinking about this because when I box and hit the bag and do all that shit, my sweat comes in... pause. Why are you? My sweat comes off my head and into my eyeballs. Yeah, that's why they have headbands. And it's actually like, damn, if this happened during a fight, I would have a disadvantage. Look up Alex Caruso from EZipper.

Yeah, well I hit box and get bags, so... Don't compare him to Alex Caruso. He's got to be quiet. He's not like Alex Caruso. Only for you like Alex Caruso. The only similarity is... I'm not saying he's like Alex Caruso, I'm saying he needs to learn from Alex Caruso. Is this the racist guy? Oh no, he just has a headband.

He's just a white NBA player with a headband. That's cool. Bro, he looks like Schlatt. In the top middle one? Come on. That kinda looks like you're the only one who's trying to fix you. Come on. Bro, give me this. No, you're the worst in the group and it looks like you're wrong.

Just give it to me. It maybe looks like Schlatt if he was someone else. That kinda looks like Schlatt. It doesn't. No. It doesn't. It doesn't at all. Schlatt is so awesome. Even a little bit. You're such a dumb bastard. I'm not dumb at all. You're dumb.

At lot. You don't feel... You're a fucking ass bro. Freaking no. You've had it too good for too long. Run around. Give me a looks like. Who do I look like? You look like fucking? You look so good to me. Oh, you look like Luke from Street Fighter actually they made you into Luke I don't even look like Luke. Can you please zipper sorry can you bring up Luke from Street Fighter 6?

Not five another guy that doesn't look like the guy Yeah, it's just a really fucking the top right one That's kind of no come on that one. That's kinda... No, come on man. That haircut. That's you. That's literally your haircut. No, that hair's insane. That's your haircut.

It's not that crazy! You look like Luke. Wait, he went... Thank you! It's kinda cool to look like that though. Why don't you play a fighting game? For once in your fucking life. I play...

Why won't you as a man, play a fighting game? I play Rivals 2. Okay. Oh! Rivals 2, yes sir. What's your main? I play why won't you as a man as a man fighting game? I play rivals to okay? Oh Rivals to yes, sir. What's your main? I play raster, but I want to switch to the elephant The elephant I hate that guy I like Claire Clyro Claire Aaron and Claire Oh Clara even though our new album kind of half good. I don't that's a sword character. Yeah, I think having a beam sword is cringe I don't that's a sword character. Yeah, I think having a beam sword is cringe Put me in fucking the prison put me in Russian jail for 20 years. It's so

Desne it's really hot In no matter where you go on this planet earth this horrible bitch of an earth this oven that we Somehow thrive to stay on but it's a struggle and the thing about the heat is that I go out and like I'm dripping a little bit of sweat from here a little bit What from here, but my balls? Lovely my balls are soaked. Mm-hmm. You know what? The worst thing is Swamp balls sweaty balls and your ball and I come back after basketball looks like I've been in the fucking pool Well, I have a thing that can help all of your guys' weird ball problem. OK, related to basketball, you could help us with.

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They say nice and snug. They've also got style. I got pattern prints. I got cute little sharks. I'm right You don't know I'll tell you that you got cute underwear and they're stretchy. They're comfy. They're breathable Also, if you you couldn't you didn't even have to stop it under where you get a damn hoodie They have a name but they have other things they have hoodies. They have joggers onesies Hey, why don't we get matching me undies onesies babe? Please me and who babe me and who me and my life flow girlfriend are getting matching onesies me and my LF G All right So if you want to go to me on these comm slash zipper you can get 20% off your first purchase plus free shipping

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By the way, this was supposed to be a pod with mango. The goat. The goat doesn't care. Everyone hits us up. They They're like you guys don't have mango on when he wins You know you owe him right? Well, we fucking tried I'll read my text conversation between me and mango This is really funny because I really did try but I messaged him yesterday I said you want to come on the yard tomorrow and he said I will be hungover what time but I'm down. And, uh, and I said, I said maybe like noon one. And he said, Hmm, uh, I'll be late, but I can do it.

And so I'm like, well, then we just do a little time. Yes. So I said two, three. Yeah. You know, I push an hour and he said, okay, I'll wake up, do my best bike and head over, let's aim for two. This is the last night, by the way. Uh, he said, I'll try up, do my best bike and head over. Let's aim for two. This is last night, by the way. He said, I'll try to really hard to get there at one. But let's aim for two. I said, OK, two. Let's just do two.

Today, he messaged me, bro. I said, I said, yo. And he said, I am painfully hung over. Sends me a picture of him on the ground, slumped over. Wow. What looks like a hotel room floor. Yes, just totally slumped. And Wow. In what looks like a hotel room floor. Yes, just totally slumped. And then I reply, when you want to come?

And he says, wow, you didn't even comment on my ribs. Because they're visible in the photo. They're visible. They are. And he looks great. Did you comment? Well, no, I just said, when do you want to come? Well, he shouldn't comment.

That's how I would say it. So after he says you didn't comment on my ribs, I said, they're so visible. Two exclamation points. And then I said, perhaps two o'clock would work. At this point, it's probably three. You can't just say it after. It's like you didn't give me flowers. Then you go get the flowers.

I don't really want the flowers. I'm going to ask for it. It's like that. He says, you're going to have to work with me. OK, if we can pivot, that'd be lovely for the champ. And I said, I said, I said, I said blood. Tell me what you need. Tell me I'm here

I'm here. Yeah, and then he goes if we can film at night or not at two or tomorrow. I Should be good and I can't we Pipeline so I say I say my goat we'll get you on but take the stay for yourself as the goat and we'll record solo You know what he says to me? Yeah. Did I just get uninvited? Insane. I said, I said, no, we just can't stream tonight. And we can. That's what comes out tomorrow. And he goes, wow, period.

He is. He's a master. And I replied on all caps, you won. So you get what you need pink heart It's honestly true because he did win and that's pretty car has a sparkle too And then he's still trying to gun he says I said he says mango likes being on the yard sad Batman emoji What mango should have came? It's the lucky sad should have come to be on the wall. That's what I said I said we can get you on still. We just have to record today.

And I said, what's the latest? And I said three. And he said, hmm. And then I sent him an eye emoji. And at two fifteen, he just sends me an empty margarita glass. My favorite. My favorite was the conversation before today, where where he asked if he could if he could do this next week instead.

And you said, no, we have another guest. And he's like, wow, bumping me for this. And you're like, no, you would literally be first. We literally having you sooner. Oh, he's so he's such a difficult, beautiful, beautiful girlfriend. And he gets more difficult when he starts winning. But he deserves it because he won. He's the champion. He won the game.

He's the number one player now, ranked above Zayn. He honestly is probably, maybe, eking out of two. He's kissing two. It's so be- oh man, when he wins. If the only three players in the world were Cody, Zayn, and Mango, Mango would probably be two. Red flag on the play. Thank you. Pissing me off. I eat the flag. Oh shit. Flag gone. So anyway that's why we don't have the goat on. He'll come on maybe never. Who knows. Maybe never.

It's a goat's world. We're just living in it. It's true. I would like him on. I like the goat. I deadlift him. I like goat. I need a massage from one of you. Where? Back. I think I give the best. I deadlift. I like go I need a massage from one of you where back I think I give the best massages here Your mouth where my mouth is Why do you say that I think I've given more than anyone here now, I feel like you give fuck massage Yeah, I bet I bet it's like Yeah, I bet I bet it's like a zipper to your saying yeah, it's really good No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not even saying it's a bad massage You don't look at the facts and the evidence

Thank you the facts and the evidence are there. I think he gives a massage and he starts rubbing on the ass and he Pfft Oh no I'm getting butt only 80% butt massages I'm like my lower back hurts I'm going bum bum bum He's playing DK fucking Congo Jungle or whatever

fuck. Donkey Konga 3. Yes, on my ass. Wow. On your ass? Yeah. And if you clap it also works like we do. Yes sir. It sounds sensitive. Why don't we have a massage off? The yard massage off. We've already done this. The yard Nuru massage off. The close off pose

off. The yard Nuru massage off. Where we're all massaging each other No it's just me It's an invite only Invite only 18 plus event Well I don't like it anymore And it's in a parking lot

We get some other craters We get some other craters on the line It's us We get Noah J We got Noah J other creators on the water fucking it's us it's us massaging science fan we get Noah J we got no I told you about no Jay yesterday it gives me this fucking telephone rendition what happened you told me about Noah J like he isn't somebody I hang out with oh so you what are you as a man doing? Hanging out with zombies YouTubers? Infidelity.

Infidelity. I think what we should do is we should hold some sort of contest and the only important part is that the loser is forced to give Asmongold a nuru massage. I don't think I would like to subject Asmongold you said? I don't like to subject him to subject as asmongold you said yeah I don't like to suggest and subject him to that unless he wants that of course he would want it The winner should get that I don't want they get to do it yeah, yeah, it's a prize. It's a prize that everyone wants Looking to have a the rat smell. What? Think about it. Dude. Dude, that's fucked up. If you're looking to have a constant rat smell, that's a smart way to do it.

Like if you want like sun activated rat smell, there's no batteries, there's no. It is very natural. This is actually the Atlanta bit. This is actually, it's like, no, if you could just spray us his phones. It's okay. But it's just alarm clocks.

Everyone could have one. Everyone could have one. Because there's so many rats. Everybody would have an affordable alarm clock. Do you guys remember the first time you saw a New York City rat? No. No?

You've never seen one? There's a restaurant in it. Okay, maybe it's calling them out a little bit. But there's a restaurant in LA called Wood and in their parking lot, they have New York City sized rats. Wow. All the time, and there's a big hole in their parking lot.

Everyone can go take a picture with the rat hole and submit it to the yard Twitter. There's a big hole in the parking lot, it's a really small parking lot, and there's always rats running into it. Not necessarily rats in the restaurant. Not indicative of the restaurant. Just the parking lot. I did see one wearing a little chef hat. And he's the size of a fucking capybara. But the food there is excellent.

It's just there are rats in the parking lot. Well I got jumpscared by a rat in Venice. Because I heard some rustling in a trash can. I thought it was someone throwing away a baby. I don't know why I thought this. So you ran over to save it? So I was like, oh I'll save the baby from Casey and then I was digging through and then and then I was like Oh, it's probably a dog because this is small like a small dog

Right. I lifted it up and a fucking rat jumped out and I was like fuck that was obvious. This is so obvious I don't know how I fucked this one. It could be a raccoon. Raccoons love trash. Yeah, but that's still not a creature you need to save from a trash can. No, they like being there. No, that's taking them out of their favorite place. Right. That's a cool thing to do. You'd be making him upset. I saw one in New York City and I was like, Jesus Christ, this is not a joke.

They are big. Yeah, they get fat. I couldn't believe it. They get fat as shit. I feel bad for rats. They get a bad rap. Well, they started the plague, so maybe they deserve it. No, they didn't start it. Yes didn't start it yes they sold the boats and drove the boats are the

ones who spread it also the people that travel like catapult the road to the rats build a boat did you know they put plague bodies in a catapult and flung them into I think Venice actually that has to be a war crime at the time everything was yeah I do feel like we had no rules back in the day. Yeah, it was just like, fucking... Humans were a bit... Fuck with me, dog. Yeah, it was like, oh, you won the war?

Rape and pillage time. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of a forever always food, to be honest. Yeah, it's in the past, because we famously always follow the rules. Yeah, now we don't do that. Now we have Geneva Convention. And we follow it to the T. Geneva, my favorite convention, Super Smash Convention, Geneva Convention. And we follow it to the T. My favorite convention, Super Smash Convention, Geneva Convention.

Yeah. Comic Convention. I'm playing I'm playing in Rivals 2 at the Geneva Convention. Do they still do it? Do you think if they want to host like a thing in Geneva, they have to just call it something else? G-Con. Everyone's cosplay. Yeah, we're playing D&D at G-con. We're doing a panel. Do they still do it? At G-con? I don't know. The Geneva Convention? What is the Geneva Convention

fully comprised of? Rules. I'm saying what are the rules? Of war? There's a lot. What are the big ones? There's like no chemical weapons. There's like medics cannot be targeted. Oh, shit like that. That's a vibe. Kind of a vibe. But the thing is, you can still, you can deadass shoot a medic and be like, oops. This is the principles that penis starly was built off of.

Yeah, no, no attacking civilians. Shit's a vibe. It's basically a list of gentlemen's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a gentleman agreement. Which is funny because all this got developed after World War II after we developed nuclear weapons, which kind of just like GG everything. Yeah, as a whole damn shit. Damn, that made a long ass list.

G-Con went crazy. Yeah, G-Con was a huge event. It's like PAX East. What is that? Donkey Kong is banned? If you did Yard Con, what do we do if it's Yard Con? What's going on? We shoe medics at Yard Con. Riff Raff said it best.

It's the baby oil water slide. Oh. Yeah, and it's all girls and I'm the DJ. That's the Riff Raff. I think we're rewriting the rules Did we ever post that video of you writing the bull at Sawcon? No, they're not It was funny cuz someone in the comments was like roasting this shit out of you for being bad at writing a mechanical bull Yeah, yeah, I mean it looks pretty pathetic.

I would say a southern boy wouldn't have fallen off like you did. Good ol' boy. Hey, try that in a small town. In the south we don't ride mechanical ones, just so you know. In the south we ride the real thing. I'm a Canadian cowboy.

I go to the Calgary Stampede, and I drink beer and I wear a cowboy hat But I've never been I've never worked farm day in my life Dude, my favorite thing was when Mike when we'd play Valorant together and Mike would call us all a bunch of thick bulls I was like To this day we are still known as the golden bulls because we were all gold, right? Mike's name on Steam right now is m483redditor Which is really funny if you play Call of Duty ever in your life this for everyone out there

I had to message Mike today m483 predator being one of the oh famous Snipers I like that I can't find the clip slime, but I was gonna prove you wrong today I was gonna what justice oh about the men hoodie. Yeah, you saw it, right? I did, I saw that guy. You saw it? I think that guy is wrong. Okay, bye, see you later. There's a guy, he made a pretty popular YouTube

or like Instagram Reel Show. It had like a few hundred thousand views and it was about the blue hoodie versus the green hoodie for the mint. And it turns out that it's on the color spectrum, 179 green. But guess what? Hey, hey, ay, ay, ay And 180 blue

Can I ask a question? Huh? I didn't watch the entire video I watched the first half Did he base the answer off of the video? Or off of a product that he bought and like examined in real person? Off of the video Which is color corrected?

I have information to provide No As the person who edited the video Deenoonoonoonoonoonoonoonu neenu neenu neenu neenu neenu. I modified the color. Huh, you rotten fuck. I didn't just color correct it. I shifted the value to appear more like the hoodie in real life, but the video is just a made up color.

It is not indicative of the real color of the hoodie. What way did you shift it? Yeah. Which way? Okay, honestly, it's genius of you to shift it to such a neutral ground to 179, 180, which means you actually got it almost perfectly. Or did he shift it more green and it was not even 179?

It wasn't even close. I think mans, whoever made the video, has to buy a hoodie. No discount. And they're shipping quick famously. And then you have to get a color checker, a color accurate color checker. Pull a bunch of fabric, you know, samples. You can probably also just get the Pantone.

You should get a couple of hoodies. The Pantone is just faster. Like a diamond tester, but a tester 180 blue. But we won't give you the Pantone. You must buy the hoodie and then do it again. No, that was a cool idea. Someone in the comments of your subreddit was like, this guy's either going to be a serial killer or catch one.

Yeah, that's how they go, I think. Like, Geo Rainbow, there's a world. Yeah, Rainbow would have been a notorious scourge on humanity. How the fuck do you find that guy? I think what's crazy about those, like all the super sick GeoGaster players is they actually could be used by the government successfully. Yeah, I mean, he does CIA tests all the the super sick GeoGaster players is they actually could be used by the government successfully. Yeah, I mean he does CIA tests all the time. Yeah, he like blazes through them. I wonder if he could set up a test like because some people always challenge him they're like where's

this picture from or like help me find this picture. Yeah. Like what if he like there's probably a place in the world he knows where it's like if he takes a picture it's like no one's finding this shit. Had you talked about doing a video where you like hide in some insane place on our? Yeah, 100k find me. Yeah. Yeah. Someone DM'd me on Reddit and I won't say the country that they live in, but they have a, uh, this I know this sounds bad.

Yeah, this big leaning tower. The solicitation. He'll take you to the top of that leaning tower. Oh, oh pizza? Don't tell him where it is. He take me to pizza. He's a modified van, like that, like one of those like camp living in vans that you see in YouTube videos all the time.

And he said like he could he could use his van, that you could live out of it and go to remote locations for this challenge. I'm going to go to random island, neck myself, fucking play the video live and say the one piece is real Dude that'd be so beast would be oh my god except the prize is so much lamer than what the one piece is hopefully Yeah, no like imagine one piece is over and Luffy's like yeah, I was a hundred K What if the one piece is like the friends they made a little he said that it's not What if the One Piece is like the friends they made along the way? No, he said that it's not.

Oda literally said it is not the friends made along the way. Tell me what's going on. I've never seen One Piece. Oh, oh, oh, oh, it is the greatest story ever told. What is the One Piece? The One Piece! It is, it is. Someone said one sentence.

Goldie Roger is the greatest pirate to ever live. He amassed all his fortunes. Then why come he never posts a spread pic? And hid them somewhere. Then he submitted himself to be captured by the Navy and he was beheaded. Right before he's beheaded, he goes, I've hid my treasure.

Find it. And it launches the Age of Pirates. Two are trying to find his treasure. Oh, but no one's found it? No. And the journey follows. Is the story still going? Luffy, it is. That's the journey follows is the story still going in one piece?

It is it's a great question It is still going. What the fuck's the matter with you? I'm actually curious Is the story still going? This is like Grimes and Elon Musk. This is how they started dating. But uh oh, we've hit the final saga When is it gonna be over? How many, how many, how many spots is it gonna be? So you're saying it's a poplar and a cat? How long is he gonna keep fucking writing it dude?

Well, so we hit the final saga Okay, which happened after Wano Get this, the sagas are comprised of arcs and arcs have a certain amount of episodes so we have about 500 episodes left I wanna go to Shake Shack Why?

He's got... Why? Cause he's hungry. Don't want a burger? Okay. They did have some spicy fries for a while too. I wanted to do a video we were really close to doing this video. You think he wants to go for it. I put Nut in a room and made him watch. Nut in a room?

What is his aim at the office? I wanted to do a video where I put Nut in a room and I made him watch all of One Piece Yeah, and then like take quizzes and like earn money Yeah, and then keep the lights on the whole time and yeah keep the lights on and like have a hot tub Maybe smell that one. You want to go see chocolate for free? But I did want to do this And we had like mapped it out Nut was down to do it and then we backed out because it was just so costly it would have cost like 60K for the video and I would have had him in there for... Because what it costs to like have him be comfortable or like...

Well, he wanted like a certain amount of money, which I was like, yeah, that's fair. It's reasonable for like the time in there. And then like just the cost of production and like all that. Oh, wow. Was like way steeper than I thought. And I was like, it doesn't come close to a return. And I also can't Even show him watching it watching my right. Yeah

It's like the videos mostly just him in a room in his activity that we can't show It's definitely on paper. Yeah idea. That's funnier. We got very close to doing it though. It'd be fun to just like Map it so whatever time he's watching each episode is like mapped so if you wanted to watch along right like I watch yeah you could just watch with him yeah it would take about if you're wondering 24 days I believe if it's non-stop playing of like no like I think eight eight to ten hours a day eight hours a day eight to ten that's a damn workday eight to ten hours of watching the one piece a lot I used to do that it's a damn workday eight to ten hours of watching the one piece

I used to do that. It's a lot it Towards the end you're not liking it what you said yeah, cuz the pace is dog shit You should watch eight to ten hours a day one piece a day. Yeah. Yeah in high school So senior year high school like going into college. I had like a trundle bed And so I'd fucking wheel it out. I'd throw my laptop off I'd watch one piece from the hours of about 2 p.m. Until about 2 a.m. This is my homie trundle. He's not weird He's fine. He just chill under there. He's chill. He didn't know I talked to him.

Yeah, he might like nibble on your hand, but it's cool. No, I watched all that. I caught up. Wow, that's awesome That's unbelievable. I was not enjoying it, especially when you hit fucking I've always not liked how addictive episodic media is. I started watching Attack on Titan recently. I started watching it because I forgot that I never finished it. And then I watched it for like three days straight. So hard not to boot up just another episode. When I first watched Breaking Bad it was like crazy. I just kept watching it.

I was locked in. That'll be us with D&D. People won't be able to tear themselves away. It'll be like in Futurama when Fry eats the super slurm and he has to drag the box over to save his friends but he can't stop eating it. That'll be you guys. Yeah, we all got that. You'll be eating our slurm. The slurp, they won't be able to do that with D&D. No, they'll watch it and that'll be a slurm for their eyes. I realize I don't even watch shows anymore. I watch so much Twitch. It's gross.

You watch Twitch? I watch such a gross amount of Twitch. I watch every- I watch fucking- No, you've always been a Twitch guy. I know, but I just like- I watch so much. Do you just write that off mentally? Like, as like, I'm studying. No. You don't? You just- It's just gross in your head?

I'll probably watch like like ten hours of Psalm Yeah, I'm so w what do you know some of course I know some oh, I didn't know if you're like being sarcastic No, I'm not I used to watch some play CS go. Yeah some CS I've watched like ten hours of Psalm it like fucking that's a help me When's the last time that what you're watching? Why are you a man watching another man play Valorant? Grinding I'm watching his whole games. Well, I'm doing it while doing other shit. I got it on like a side monitor, like a TV.

But when are you getting back on the rift on Valo? Yeah, I'm on the rift. I played last night with Sands. You still play. Yeah. Where are you at? Gold three. You didn't hit me up. I'm like, you don't play. I asked you if to hit me up, if you played.

I'll let you know. I asked you to hit me up if you played and you didn't. I asked you to come to my house. To be fair, at this point in your gaming career, I don't know if I'd hit you up if I want to climb. Wait, you're talking about me? Yeah. Damn, you laughed. You started talking about me.

You started talking about me. No. Dude, come on. To be fair, I was Plat 3 last season. You didn't play last season. You know who you guys should play with? You should play with Alex. I think it'd be really funny. No. What? Okay.

I get too... I get too locked in when I'm playing. I don't think I can handle him. I think he's better than both of you. I'm not saying he's not... Well, then I'd be against Wynom. Is he like, very good? No. He's... Well, I shouldn't have said that. Because he's not well, then I'd be against him. Is he like very good? No, no, he's he's well I shouldn't have said that because he's currently ranked silver now. You're just being a fucking Wow you should play with Timmy Timmy next door

Council right I'm sorry student council. Okay, right. My bad. I'm sorry. That's my bad. Dick. No, for real though, you and me, we play Valorant. No, you keep throwing yourself in there.

Why do you have it? What is your deal? You haven't been played. So I just warm up for a day. I'm back. You think so? Yes. 100%.

I think I did. It was like that when I play. I think he boots it up. By his mars Marshall round two No, I would do it I would if you're if you said to me and if you as a man said to me as a man Yeah Fucking climb right anything but just fucking climbing. I'd be like, yes, chef. Right. Heard chef.

I don't. I don't. What? What was that? East to climb is Miley Cyrus. That's Miley Cyrus. East to climb. Stop doing it.

I'm doing Miley. I don't care. I'm doing Miley. It sounds weird. OK. All right. Now I'm the fucking weird guy for my opinions. All right.

Thanks for listening to my opinions. I think you guys are. I'd love to see you two get back on the horse. No, you fucking wouldn't. No, you thought I wouldn't. if you like that, then you wouldn't have said what you said to me No, I just said like if there's an angle for is it for my entertainment or is it for Ludwig to get his brain? You're such a cruel little man. You you're such a cruel guy your little cruel little acne shirt You know, you know, I'm about to play. Ooh, I'm about to play doom. Oh dude. I, I've, I begged him to play doom.

I'm going through my wishlist right now. I play, I play games. OG. Are you playing original games? I'm playing single player games only right now. Do 2016. It's one of the best games ever made. Oh, I'm so excited.

I love Mick Gordon. Ta-da dude. Why? I think that. I think it. I don't think you do. I do. Who, who is she?

The artist who made the soundtrack Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- I am playing it right now. I'm looking up Mick Gordon. I looked up Small Dig Rule 34. You came up. Archie overlay me singing it with that. And then that's a fucking show. I do hope that that's fair use. He's got you dead to rights. All right. Well, thanks for listening to us for 90 minutes. We're you. So the primo we recorded early because we thought we were going to have the goat on. So it's actually a time jump where we think the goat will be in our lives, but it's not.

It's not. It actually won't be in our lives. I do tell a regaling tale about how I might have to become a feminist and look how tampons work because of Aiden. It's also true. I also tell about how I went to the hospital. So if you want to listen to that, go to our Patreon and subscribe. And there it is. It's there. Now. It's also true. I also tell about how I went to the hospital So if you want to listen to that go to our patreon and subscribe and there it is it's there I don't want you to do it. It's there now. I don't want you to do it. Tyler doesn't want you to do it. Sad Tyler doesn't want you to do it. Sad Tyler will fuck himself if he says about me. I'm driving my truck into a ditch.

What? Alright, bye.